#please please stop treating trans men like girls | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

robotspock · 1 month

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i need fanfiction writers to start treating trans men as "men who happen to have vaginas (sometimes)" instead of "girls who are boys."

#saw a comment on one of my fanfics where someone praised me for writing a trans guy as very matter of fact #like r u joking..i'm doing the bare minimum here tbh #please please stop treating trans men like girls #stop making them exclusively bottom #stop only headcannoning the feminine looking boys as being trans #let them use a strap on a man. let them be muscular and chiseled and traditionally masculine #i'm begging

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meet-you-at-the-cemetery-gates · 9 months

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IF YOU TREAT MEN LIKE SHIT I AM GOING TO FUCKING SHOOT YOU.

"Except cis men hehehe" no, go fuck yourself. How can you be so damn blind to the hatred you're spewing. Men make up half the population. Hating half the population is just unimaginably awful.

Both cis and trans men are people just like the rest of us and should be treated as such. To spew such venom and justify it as "progressive" is plain hypocrisy. Progressive spaces need to include men as well, or else we're not going to make any change.

The reason I feel so damn strongly about this despite being a cis woman, who in all intents and purposes is the opposite of masculinity and maleness is that my father was emotionally neglected by my grandmother just because he was born a man. The damage that did to him is unforgivable. This gender essentialist view hurts people and will hurt generations if we don't stop this bullshit.

Oh, and to all the TERFs saying I side with the patriarchy. Fuck off, hosers.

Bell Hooks has written "The wounded child inside many males is a boy who, when he first spoke his truths, was silenced by a paternal sadism, by a patriarchal world that did not want him to claim his true feelings. The wounded child inside females is a girl who was taught in early childhood that she must become something other than herself, deny her true feelings, in order to attract and please others... To be loving we must willingly hear each other's truth, and most importantly, we affirm the value of truth telling."[1]

Y'all need to listen to her.

Oh, and stop bringing up my age. I'm 17 and I still have a higher emotional intelligence and superior reading comprehension that all you adult TERFs. I made this post to support trans men, and I chose to include cis men as well since they're humans too.

And no, I'm not saying we need to center men in our feminism. I'm just saying we need to treat men and male aligned people like fucking people.

ANOTHER EDIT: No more reblogs until you guys can learn empathy and not drink from the misandrist, transphobic, white supremacist radfem Kool-aid. They want to divide us so we can't overthrow them, don't let the system win.

#intersectional feminism #feminism #social issues #lgbtq community #trans ally #trans men #transandrophobia

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starlightrosari · 6 months

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Gender struggles from childhood to now (22)

I don’t look like the other girls

I don’t get along with other girls

I get along better with boys

I want to be one of the guys

I wish I looked more like a boy

I don’t feel I belong in women’s spaces

I feel uncomfortable with female gender expectations and experiences

I feel jealous of how my friends who are boys are developing into their bodies

I feel uncomfortable with my genitalia

I feel uncomfortable with my body

I want to look more androgynous

I hate my body

I don’t mind my name, but it feels too feminine. It’s okay on other people, but I’d prefer a nickname for myself

The first nickname was cool, but still felt too feminine. This new nickname sounds really androgynous though, it feels good being called it

I feel like a tomboy

Am I transgender?

Do I have internalized misogyny from having mostly male friends?

I wish I could get along with women so I was treated equally

I just feel small and infantilized, I have to dress more mature and womanly and then I’ll love my body

I’m depressed and dissociated from myself because of people pleasing and trying to fit in with heteronormative people

Who am I?

I’m just a lesbian having a hard time with my sexuality, that’s why I have these body issues and gender issues. And I just don’t know who I am because of depression and trauma

I stopped being called my birth name entirely. I guess family can still call me it even if it feels weird, but it feels good being called “Ari” at my college and by my friends

I stopped people pleasing

I feel better now that I’m dressing masculine

I feel better now that I’m not being called pretty all the time

Maybe I actually am trans?

I kind of like they/them pronouns

Maybe not, I’m okay with my body now and people think nonbinary isn’t real. This is too complicated

I still feel uncomfortable calling myself or being called a woman though

I don’t want to base my identity off the misogyny I deal with anymore, I feel most comfortable calling myself nonbinary for now, and it’s okay if it’s a phase, I just need to explore how I’m feeling

I don’t like using she/her pronouns

I’m terrified to come out to people, maybe I should just tell them I use she/they pronouns so it’s not as big of a deal

I came out to people, but now I feel like I shouldn’t have given them “she” as an option at all

I still wish I were more like a boy, but I don’t think I have gender dysphoria

I’m so envious of my favorite fictional boy characters, I want to cry, I’m nothing like them

I wish when I were out at night I didn’t look like such a girl. I want to look like the beautiful men and androgynous people I see. I want to cry, I hate my body sometimes

Actually I do have gender dysphoria and always have

I wish I were able to be androgynous in the way men can be

I feel uncomfortable being viewed as the feminine bodied person in a relationship. In fantasies I’m always masculine

I feel dysphoric every time I lump myself as sapphic, but maybe it’s just internalized lesbophobia?

No, I prefer calling myself queer. Just because identifying as lesbian stopped me from being cis/heteronormative and was an important part of finding my true self, doesn’t mean I have to keep identifying as it. Still don’t know if I’m attracted to men though

Actually I was attracted to men all along, I just wished I were viewed by strangers as an mlm couple and hated the idea of being viewed as a straight relationship. It was easy to mistake as being lesbian because it at least felt better being seen as a queer woman than a straight girl, so I avoided that possibility altogether by refusing that I was attracted to men because it felt too dysphoric to imagine

I often get really depressed being misgendered, and I feel really detached from myself most days. I don’t want to keep feeling this way

I definitely don’t feel good being called feminine terms or dressing feminine, trying to be more of a girl didn’t make me feel better about myself, I’m absolutely trans and don’t have to doubt myself anymore

I don’t feel dysphoric calling myself nonbinary and neutral language, but I don’t feel euphoric either. How do I identify and what do I do about my dysphoria?

Do I want to transition? It’s so confusing and scary, I wish I were binary trans so I wasn’t so afraid of the irreversible changes

Weighing out changes of the body on T and pros and cons of being off or on T, I’m definitely feeling like some of the changes would make me really euphoric compared to being without it

I actually kind of like calling myself masculine terms. I don’t feel like a man, but maybe I’m a demiboy?

I wanted an androgynous body when I was very young, and I still want one now. I was gaslit by cis people that how I felt about my body was just insecurity, when it was in fact gender dysphoria. I want to transition to a body that feels like me

I like he/him pronouns and feel affirmed being called masculine terms. I’m going to use he/they pronouns and I identify as a nonbinary boy

I’m terrified of having to deal with transmasculine erasure and transphobia coming out, but I can’t keep staying in the closet. It hurts too much. I need to come out

#nonbinary #enby #lgbtq+#trans #transmasc #lgbtq #transgender #genderqueer #lgbtqiia+#queer #demiboy #gender questioning #gay #agender

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hadeantaiga · 24 days

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hiii so english isn't my first language and i'm learning more about gender and trans stuff and if i might be trans or something (i've been told i sound agender?? but that feels wrong), and something that confuses me, so i'm asking around abt it… "woman" used to simply denote afab, right? like a body type of ppl with a biological (not surgical) vagina & estrogen puberty. like a female dog. ppl say that it reduces women to their genitals, but what about with other animals? like female cat, female horse, etc, just bc we say "oh she's a girl" or "oh i have a male dog" doesn't mean we're saying they're only their genitals in that case, right…? a bitch is just a female dog, that's why it's a misogynistic word. misogyny is based on how ppl see someone without a penis as lesser, bc they don't have the power to forcibly penetrate and feel genital pleasure for it, they can't impregnate, they're "just a hole" etc. like so much of misogyny is just body-specific. the misogyny transfems experience seems terrible but also conditional? bc if they're found out to be amab they're treated as creepy men, so they then stop experiencing misogyny, they just face usually homophobia. meanwhile bio women (and transmascs who don't transition) have no exit door to the misogyny unless they transition and pass perfectly as male or something, and historically that wasn't an option. to me man & woman have always been neutral body types until i came across trans stuff, and i think the idea of gendered brains sounds sexist af. like gender seems like bullshit, i see me being a woman as just like being a female cat, i don't have ~womanly~ vibes in my brain, i was just born female and that's the least important thing about me, but male society made it weird. why should gender continue to be a thing? what does gender actually mean, if sexism was to be eradicated? is it bad if i view my womanhood as just a body type? most cis people i've talked to view their "gender" like this, as just a body type, like any other animal. they don't "feel" like one, they just have the body and aren't dysphoric about it. they might not always like it, but they don't have dysphoria about it, so they just… are. is that transphobic? i've heard mixed thoughts about it from trans ppl & activists, i'm just curious. feel free to ignore this lol ;;

If the term woman does not feel right for you, but your body being female feels fine, that's ok!! There are many genders that are not man or woman: agender, gender neutral, and nonbinary are options. You could also just say "I do not have a gender, please just use female". That's ok to use for yourself. However, most people do not like to be called "female" or "male" in English. It is considered dehumanizing to call someone male or female if they are a person, because as you said, it treats them like an animal. So we just don't do it.

In English, "woman" is a gender. "Woman" is not attached to the female sex. If a person identifies as a woman, then she is a woman, even if she is not female. We usually say "cis woman" for a woman who was assigned female at birth (afab), and "trans woman" for a woman who was assigned male at birth (amab). We do not say "biologically female".

For example, I am afab, but I am not a woman. I am a trans man, and I am nonbinary. Meanwhile my friend from college, she IS a woman, even though she is amab. She is a trans woman.

As for misogyny: what you described as misogyny is actually sexism. Sexism is based on sex, misogyny is based on gender. They are separate.

Trans women experience both misogyny and sexism, and it is not "conditional". A trans woman does not stop experiencing misogyny if she is discovered to be a trans woman. That is not how this works. She will continue to face misogyny, and it will be misogyny mixed with transphobia against trans women. This is called transmisogyny.

"Being treated like creepy men" is a major part of transmisogyny. It is hatred towards trans women. When a trans woman is called a "creepy man", she is being misgendered (which is transphobia) and treated like a sexual deviant even though she is not. She is experiencing this misogyny because she is a trans woman. If you hate a person for being a woman, that is misogyny.

We don't say "bio women". What you mean is a "cis woman". Yes, cis women also experience misogyny, and they cannot escape it - but neither can trans women.

"Man" and "Woman" are not body types, they are genders. When you say "body type", you are meaning someone's sex, but body types can be changed. A trans woman can have a vagina and breasts, just like a cis woman. A trans man can have a penis and a flat chest, just like a cis man. There are surgeries for all of this, and hormones trans people can take to change their sex from male to female, or from female to male.

There is currently mixed science about the idea of gendered brains. You can find scientific research that supports the idea brains have gender, and you can find scientific research that supports the idea that brains do NOT have gender. Right now, no one knows. But it is not something we get to have an opinion about, it is something science must learn.

The idea of gender is a social construct, just like sex. The idea of man and woman was invented by society. I agree that it is bullshit to assign qualities to man and woman. Women do not have to be nice, men do not have to be aggressive. These are called gender roles, and they are indeed bad. Trans people agree that gender roles are bad, and we are loudly yelling that no one should have to act a certain way just because they are a man or a woman. I want to free gender from gender roles, so genders do not have assigned roles, and so anyone can do anything they want.

If we got rid of sexism, that would be great, but that would not make genders disappear. There would still be people who identify with "woman" or "man" - it would be their own personal feeling of what that means to them. Maybe you do not have "womanly" feelings inside your head, but maybe someone else does! It is not your right to tell her she cannot be a woman.

Many people have very strong feelings about their gender. It is ok if you do not, and it is ok if you don't understand people who like their gender! But you have to let other people live freely. If a cis woman wants to be a woman, let her. If a trans woman wants to be a woman, let her.

A cis woman fits the body she has. She doesn't have to think about her body or her sex or her gender - she may never think about it at all!! Her body doesn't give her a big feeling. It is boring. She may say "I am a woman, and I have a body that was assigned female at birth, and I have breasts and a vagina and a uterus, and all of that feels correct to me". That is what it means to "feel like a woman" for a woman who is cisgender - it doesn't feel like much!! It's not a big feeling, it's just "Yeah, all of this matches, and I don't have to think about it".

Meanwhile, a trans man might say "I was told I am a woman, but that does not sound right to me. I have a body with breasts and a vagina and a uterus, and that feels wrong, too. I do not fit this body, and I am not a woman." That can be dysphoria, and that is how some trans people feel. Many trans people think about their body and their sex and their gender a lot because those things do not match, so it causes discomfort all the time.

Imagine you go buy a pair of shoes at the store. You put them on, and they fit perfectly. You go home, and wear the shoes every day. You probably do not think about your shoes all day long; you probably don't even feel them on your feet. You don't notice your shoes at all, because they fit right and are comfortable. They do what they need to do; they are boring.

When a cis woman says she doesn't feel much about her body, that means her body fits like a good pair of shoes.

Now imagine you are given a pair of shoes, and they do not fit right. They are too tight, but you are told you have to wear them anyway. All day long, your feet hurt. Your toes are being pinched and the shoes are giving you blisters all over your feet. You think about your shoes and how much they make your feet hurt all day long, because you cannot stop thinking about them. The pain is still there even when you get home and take the shoes off. And you dread that tomorrow, you have to put those bad shoes back on and walk around, again and again.

That is how gender and the body can feel for a trans person. It is constantly on their mind, it is something they pay attention to all the time because it does not fit right.

#trans #transgender #trans man #transmasc #trans woman #transfemme #nonbinary #agender

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torimidori2-blog · 1 month

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Transmasc people experience misogyny

Surprise! You thought that just because sometimes we identify as men, wear masculine clothes, use he/him/his pronouns, take testosterone, or pass as male socially means that we're immune to that bullshit? Listen to yourselves talk for just a second and pay attention to what you're saying because believing this is not really helping anyone's case. We were literally born into this world assigned female at birth and we had to experience misogyny ever since that point. It's instilled in us that we are girls because of what genitals we're born with, and because of that, people feel like they're entitled to treat us a certain way, whether we were taught that by our mothers who want to protect us from misogynists or the misogynists themselves. Just because we identify as trans, doesn't mean that any of that shit is ever gonna go away, because misogynists will always believe no matter who we identify as, no matter what we say, and no matter how we express ourselves, that we are crazy women who need to be kept in their place. I'm not trying to say that transmascs suffer more than transfemmes. Far from that actually, since misogyny is also targeted towards them too. Transfemmes experience the same misogyny slathered in a blue coat of paint. Misogynistic cishet men see femininity as a weakness, and they also see having a penis as a sign of masculinity, strength and power, so when they see an amab person express femininity in any way, shape or form, their brains explode because they can't picture anything else but "bIg StRoNg MaN wItH pEe PeE gEt LaId PrEtTy GuRl AnD gEt MoNeY", which they use as a means to justify harassing, maiming, and killing transfemmes everywhere. It's the same fucking thing in a different fucking format, but it ends in the suffering of all trans people. Stop making trans suffering a pissing contest. We don't need that now. We need to stick together and try to get rid of the problem at hand, instead of fighting about how transfemmes suffer more than transmascs because blah blah blah blah... It's just like if me and someone I knew got kidnapped and tortured by the same guy and instead of focusing on calling for help or finding a way to escape, we argue about who got tortured the worst. It doesn't solve anything, it undermines the suffering of the person I'm arguing with, it's a waste of time, and in certain circumstances it can make things worse. Can we please focus on our needs as the trans community without being exclusionary? I'm sick and tired of our suffering being invalidated by the same fucking community that we're supposed to be a part of. Also, to all the non-binary people who are androgynous, gender neutral, genderfluid, agender, ect: You are affected by misgyny too. We're all in this shitstorm together.

#transmasc #transfem #protect trans men #protect trans women #protect trans lives #protect nonbinary people #trans #nonbinary #protect trans nonbinary #lgbtq #lgbt #lgbtq community

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shares-a-vest · 7 months

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@flufftober Day 6: Corn Maze

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson (Stranger Things) Word Count: 882 Rating: T | cw: Canon-Typical Swearing, Some very questionable flirting over a corndog Flufftober is perfect for my Joanie Munson AU. You don’t need to have read anything previously! All you need to know is Steve and Eddie (a trans man in this AU) have a daughter named Joanie. Fluffy (and silly) shenanigans ensue. This is my first post of Flufftober. I've started later than I had intended, but hopefully, I can get to posting every other day.

“Eddie, what the fuck!”

A woman walking past him gasps and hurries along into the corn maze, a great labyrinth that takes up most of the Smith family’s cornfield. It’s a Hawkins tradition at the beginning of each Autumn, something Steve went to for years as a kid. It was always a special occasion, one that he has been buzzing about sharing with Eddie and their daughter ever since the season changed.

But, in going to fetch a trio of corndogs, Steve now finds himself wishing he’d never bothered to come here.

Eddie shrugs and he just about wants to throw a corndog in his stupid face.

He closes his eyes, bristling even more at the increasing volume of the children scattered about.

“Eddie…” he begins, breathing slowly as he white-knuckles the wooden paddle sticks containing their intended fairground treats, “I was gone for five fucking minutes.”

He opens his eyes to find a woman about their age glaring at him as she huddles a little boy in close by her leg. Not that the kid could have possibly heard him through a gigantic set of blue earmuffs.

Eddie folds his arms in defiance and rocks on his heels. He gestures to a kid in the puffiest red puffer jacket Steve has ever seen. The kid is spinning about, whipping his head all around like he is looking for someone.

“Bet that kid is lost,” Eddie scoffs.

“Our kid is lost, Eddie!”

“Joanie isn’t lost… technically…” Eddie fumbles, seemingly no longer so assured, “She said she’d come back.”

He gestures vaguely towards the illuminated and autumnally adorned entrance to the maze, murmuring to himself. He soon chews at his bottom lip.

“Damn it, she probably is lost, now. Jesus Christ.”

Eddie stomps his booted foot into the dry grass.

“Could you young men please stop cursing!”

They turn in unison to find an elderly woman, holding the hand of a pigtailed girl about Joanie’s age. Steve takes a step closer to Eddie on instinct. He can practically feel his partner roll his eyes. He has to stifle a laugh as the old woman clutches at her brown turtleneck, a set of pearls nowhere in sight.

Eddie watches as she walks away, grandkid in tow.

“Get bent, Grandma,” he gripes, voice low.

Again, damn the handful of corndogs that prevent Steve from clapping a hand over his mouth to stifle a bark-like laugh.

Eddie smiles, mischievous dimples dotting his cheeks.

“Sorry I lost our daughter,” he offers, holding out his hand.

Steve moves to take it, juggling the corndogs precariously into one hand. But Eddie reaches for one with wiggling greedy fingers.

“No, I wanted a corndog,” he whines, offended.

Steve tsks and rolls his eyes as he shoves his treat-filled hand in Eddie’s face.

Eddie soon plucks one from his grasp, that gleeful smile back in full force as they make direct eye contact. He proceeds to lick up the length of the corndog before biting down on a good third of the thing. Steve shudders.

“You didn’t like that?” Eddie wonders aloud through a mouthful of food before gulping down awkwardly.

“No,” he snaps, taking Eddie’s hand before any more protesting.

Lucky the chiding old grandma didn’t see that one, Steve thinks as he drags his partner into the maze.

They make their way through the cornfield, a dizzying cycle of dead ends, wandering and possibly lost children, yappy dogs and spilled refreshments. But Joanie is nowhere in sight, still, and Steve can feel a headache coming on, pressing in just behind his eyeballs.

Eddie hums contentedly next to him and squeezes his hand, two corndogs long-devoured.

“This is nice, isn’t it?” he says, blinking up to the overly sunny skies above.

Steve pinches his nose.

“It will be nice when we find Joanie,” he snips, “And we better find her soon, it’s like Children of the fucking Corn in here.”

“Better get your change purse ready for that swear jar, Stevie,” Eddie teases, leaning into his personal space.

“Fuck the swear jar,” he grumbles, picturing the menacing bedazzled glass candy jar luxuriating away in the apartment on the kitchen countertop.

Just as they round another corner, Steve braces himself for the disappointment of being yet another dead-end. But Eddie runs square into a bright pink backpack adorned with a unicorn.

Eddie and Joanie both shriek, pitches matched in shrillness.

“Where did you go?” Eddie says, voice wobbling not just from the sudden fright as he suddenly sounds more concerned than he has let on this whole time.

Steve crouches down to their five-year-old’s level, the lone corndog still in his hand.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“Yup,” she grins, pulling the straps of her pink backpack tight as she puffs out her chest, “Finished the maze. Can we go get food, now?”

“Oof, yeah,” Eddie nods, sticking an agreeing thumb in her direction, “All this walking has made me hungry, again.”

He arches his back, cracking it like a damn cement mixer before standing upright and eyeing the last corndog, his worries instantly forgotten. Steve frowns.

“I want fairy floss!” Joanie yells before disappearing back around the corner they had just turned down.

Eddie follows along - but not before yanking the rather dry and cold corndog from Steve’s hand.

#this is probably late (it's the 7th aus time)#flufftober2023 #day 6 #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #steddie ficlet #steddie as girl-dads #themed banner and divider coming soon - i'll edit them in when i can :)

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our-transmasculine-experience · 4 months

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Sorry this is a bit of rant, but I hate toxic masculinity and gender norms so so so much because now I'm subscribing to them, and I cannot stop myself. Sometimes I want to wear a dress, but if I do, or even so much as think about it, my body shudders or I want to vomit. Because the idea of being seen as feminine even in the slightest way physically hurts me, and its all because of the way I was raised. I'm in an extremely conservative household, and there is so much toxic masculinity. My brother has fucking curls for gods sake, he is a cis man and my dad makes remarks about how its gay (otherwise sayings its feminine) to take care of his curls!

Now me being a closeted trans guy, every time I hear my dad talking to my brothers, or talking to other men when women are around there is such a stark line between the two groups. My dad and his friends and my brothers are MANLY MEN AND WOMAN CANNOT BE IN THE MEN GROUP while the women around me kind of drag me into the stereotypical womanly position and giggle and joke around and there's so much internalised misogyny. I had my mother the other day berate me for not shaving my own damn legs, her big point was that it was 'unhygienic' even though my dad is covered in hair. Then the real point came out, apparently not shaving my legs makes me look like a lesbian!

It sucks man, it just sucks. I love my brother though because even though he also as equally as transphobic as them, he doesn't subscribe to their weird toxic masculinity and honestly he's the closest I'll ever come to being out of the closest.

I used to think my sister might be in the closest but as we get older and she conforms more and more to my parents ideologies I realise I was just fooling myself. And I hate being like this, because my family are good people in general and their not unkind to me, or treat me poorly, they treat me really well, I'm really well off and I'm grateful to them. But if I ever came out, I would be cut from this family so quick it would make my head spin.

Being around all these stereotypes just feeds my insecurities because sometimes when I listen to the things the men around me say I know its so misogynistic and I know I should strive to be better than that, but I can't help but really want to fit in with them because all I want to be seen is as a boy. But I never will be. I really really fucking hate it (excuse the language) when the women in my family try to pull me into their side. I hate that my older brothers just see me as my dad's daughter from his second marriage, I love them so much and I just want to be friends with them but I'll never get that, my younger brother will though BECAUSE HE'S A CIS MAN!

Its selfish, I'm really selfish for thinking like this, because I live really really well, I have parents who love me even its not for who I actually am, and we have money. Seeing how bad others are living compared to me and then complaining about my household is selfish I know. I just wish these stereotypes would go away, I wish I wasn't trans, I wish I was a normal girl, but I'm not, I'm a boy, I'll never be a girl and it's the worst thing in the world. It doesn't help either that I'm bisexual and got outed by my so-called best friend and had to pretend it was just a phase that I grew out of. I want to scream, but I can't, and I won't. Because if I ever want to succeed in this world, I need my family's support.

I hate this, because I do love my father and my mother and my brothers. I just know they only love the girl they see. That's what I hate. My mother keeps telling me to dress like a girl, to be a normal girl, and honestly her acknowledging that I am not like your average female is the closest I'll ever get with her acknowledging that I'm trans. But I still love them, I love them so much, please don't think that they are bad people because they really aren't. I just cannot fucking stand how they continue to think that trans people aren't really trans or that being trans is 'demonic' its screwing with my head. I know they would never utter a bad word against a gay or trans person they met in real life but god the things they say when the curtains close.

Not to mention that all the stereotypes have ruined having children for me. I want children, I want to get married, but I can't! I can't get married! I can't have children because all I can think about is how that is the 'WOMAN'S POSITION' EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT! But if I ever have kids or get married, I will be shoved right into the 'I told you so' 'You're a woman!' I will be put in the feminine box, and I hate it! I will just be another woman who got married to a guy that pretends to be nice in public but is not so nice at best and full on abusive at worst behind the scenes which seems to be the constant with every woman I know. God forbid I ever married a woman!

Sorry that this was long, I really needed to rant. I'm honestly so grateful that the internet exists because I can't be out in real life, but I can be out online, even if no one actually knows who I am. Thank you for listening have a great day! I love your page so much it brings me so much comfort and joy!

i would get tf out of that environment as soon as you can. never apologize for feeling unhappy with that situation because most people would be, too. that sounds horrible, and i’m really really sorry that you have to go through that.

best of luck, brother.

#transgender #lgbt #transmasc #lgbtq #queer #trans #ftm #trans guy #trans boy #trans man

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ceilidhtransing · 7 months

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Echoing discussions of this topic on other blogs, I want to talk a bit about how treating transmasc people in cruel, isolating, exclusionary ways does not magically become OK just because it's "affirming their gender".

Telling trans men not to cry, isolating us from previous all-girl friendship groups, lumping us in with horrible "kill all men"-type sentiments, insisting we "man up", telling us to stop engaging in things we had previously enjoyed because they're "not for men" - these things don't make us feel good because they're "affirming our gender". They make us feel like shit, because they're shitty things to do to people.

Recognising our manhood is literally the bare minimum. And no, my standards are not so low that I'm over the moon with any kind of treatment as long as "they gendered me correctly!"

Our society is gradually getting better at recognising that pushing people into boxes of traditional binary gender expectations and trying to mould people into patriarchal models of masculinity and femininity Is Bad, and people are coming around to the fact that it's not good to tell cis men to "man up" or that "boys don't cry" or whatever, but then they panic when they come across trans men and think that we'll actually be delighted to be told these things because it means they See Us As Men. Newsflash, we generally don't want cis people (or anyone!) to impose their weird traditional expectations of masculinity onto us; we want to be part of a new world that's free of those expectations, where people of all genders and none can just freely be. So please don't get so laser-focused on "affirming our gender" that "treating us with the same kindness and compassion that all people deserve" somehow gets left by the wayside.

#transgender #trans #trans man #transmasc #transmasculine #trans boy #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #patriarchy #smash the patriarchy #my posts

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a-friend-of-mara · 2 months

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Hey uh

I'm leaving my mask at the door for a minute

If you enjoy the image of myself I put forward, the happy cheery autistic trans girl who doesn't dwell on her issues

Please just ignore this post

If you are uncomfortable with mentions of self harm, talking about non prescription drug addiction, suicide rates of trans kids

Please just go

Look

I say my biggest fear is that I'll be forgotten

It's easier than saying that I'm scared to death of myself

I'm worried I'll give up on life and stop eating... considering I can't gain or maintain weight I'd have a week before I was dead at the most

I'm afraid that I'll give up trying to look like the person I want to be rather than being stuck, trapped in a body that isn't mine but I'm wired up to like some sick torture method

I don't want to fall into drug use or self harm hoping that it'd pull me out of this pit of self hatred and hopelessness

I don't wanna be another tally mark on the trans suicide charts

I don't wanna die

I feel like I'm suffocating

That I can't move my legs... only the ones attached to me

I don't even know if I matter at this point

I just

I wanna be me

Not some false image that I was born with

Nobody understands how it is for me

My dad almost killed me with th fact he understood so little he put me into survival mode where I cared about nothing but staying alive because of how much damage his insistence that my body was in fact his son and not the cage that trapped his daughter

He used to have twins now he just has one kid with her twin sister... my sister

Now I live with my mom who doesn't understand, how could she? She's never wanted to tear her skin off because it wasn't hers... she understands how much I hurt though

She's able to see through my mask that I'm really suffering inside

Without her yall wouldn't have ever known I existed

You would've heard a news article of a trans kid who killed herself by diving off the balcony at her school although the media would misgender me.

I've almost done it

Sitting on the edge of a lethal drop fighting with myself to not do it

Not sure if I was lying when i told myself things would get better

I'm not sure if they are

Everything just keeps getting worse and worse

I can't even cry anymore

I don't care about so many things that I used to

I used to love

Then I was heartbroken

I used to care for my friends

Until I moved away

I used to enjoy helping others

Now I'm so tired I can't

Just

Fuck

It's kinda funny

How part of me thinks it's all my fault

How I'm not sure if it's something I did

But then I have to think

What could I possibly have done that'd make this torment justified?

How can any higher power exist when I've prayed to every God and Goddess I've ever learned of and not once has a goddam thing happened

How would a higher power let the world get this fucked up

Fuckin hell

My trans siblings are getting murdered for being themselves

Innocent people who live in unfortunate places are being killed because of stupid ass reasons

Fucking hell in America most people aren't free enough to take a month off work without becoming homeless

Decades of prejudice make people think women are weak and need defending but don't pay them well because... fuckin I don't know why!

It's pathetic that men get away with rape while women get away with false rape accusations usually destroying every relationship the man ever cared about

People look at others and treat them differently based on the color of their skin

YA KNOW HOW FUCKIN STUPID THAT IS?!

ITS DUMBER THAN PICKING ON SOMEONE WHO WORE A BLUE SHIRT PURELY BECAUSE OF THE SHIRT

What for?!

WHAT THE FUCK IS ALL THIS FOR?!

The privilege to go through 12 to 20 years of school to earn the right to have to work a job I'll probably hate until I'm like 60?!

Right now I'm pretty sure my life is gonna end before I reach 30!

What's the fuckin point?!

America for fucks sake

The land of the free

Yeah free to work or die because the 0.01% run the fucking nation like their playground

People wonder why I've responded to hostility with hostility in the last 3 years

Simple

I've bottled my emotions for so long the bottles are all full

Yelling and ranting always make me feel a little better

If anyone comments on this negatively I hope you die in a vat of boiling vinegar and drown in the yolks of rotten eggs

That goes for all the phobic people too

If you made it through this whole essay sized emotional breakdown and don't think I'm a complaining winey bitch

I can only say I wish the world was made of more people like you

Alright

Time for sleep

#tw: depression #tw depressing stuff #tw self destructive behavior #trans #trans woman #me #depressing shit #trans struggles

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victoriadallonfan · 25 days

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hiii so english isn't my first language and i'm learning more about gender and trans stuff and if i might be trans or something (i've been told i sound agender?? but that feels wrong), and something that confuses me, so i'm asking around abt it… "woman" used to simply denote afab, right? like a body type of ppl with a biological (not surgical) vagina & estrogen puberty. like a female dog. ppl say that it reduces women to their genitals, but what about with other animals? like female cat, female horse, etc, just bc we say "oh she's a girl" or "oh i have a male dog" doesn't mean we're saying they're only their genitals in that case, right…? a bitch is just a female dog, that's why it's a misogynistic word. misogyny is based on how ppl see someone without a penis as lesser, bc they don't have the power to forcibly penetrate and feel genital pleasure for it, they can't impregnate, they're "just a hole" etc. like so much of misogyny is just body-specific. the misogyny transfems experience seems terrible but also conditional? bc if they're found out to be amab they're treated as creepy men, so they then stop experiencing misogyny, they just face usually homophobia. meanwhile bio women (and transmascs who don't transition) have no exit door to the misogyny unless they transition and pass perfectly as male or something, and historically that wasn't an option. to me man & woman have always been neutral body types until i came across trans stuff, and i think the idea of gendered brains sounds sexist af. like gender seems like bullshit, i see me being a woman as just like being a female cat, i don't have ~womanly~ vibes in my brain, i was just born female and that's the least important thing about me, but male society made it weird. why should gender continue to be a thing? what does gender actually mean, if sexism was to be eradicated? is it bad if i view my womanhood as just a body type? most cis people i've talked to view their "gender" like this, as just a body type, like any other animal. they don't "feel" like one, they just have the body and aren't dysphoric about it. they might not always like it, but they don't have dysphoria about it, so they just… are. is that transphobic? i've heard mixed thoughts about it from trans ppl & activists, i'm just curious. feel free to ignore this lol ;;

Oh Anon, I am not REMOTELY qualified to tell you how to feel about yourself, beyond the very obvious “refer to yourself how you prefer, refer to others how they would be preferred”.

Language is ever evolving and growing at a very fast rate, especially with internet culture as a whole. Gender stereotypes have changed and been challenged, and many institutions struggle to handle the growing community’s understanding of personal identity.

If you have the time, maybe see if you can find help with these websites below:

If you do need someone to talk to, please feel free talk with me.

But I think these would help you more than I ever could, or better yet, someone who has experience as a trans individual or agender individual.

#lgtbqia+#lgbtq community #lgtbiq+#agender #trans

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wingedgirl · 2 years

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if ur one of those femcel af coquette girls who’s like “boys will never understand anything i say bc im so special and feminine and sad and men suck” please stay the fuck away from me lol. yall act like men have never experienced a feeling in their lives. i guarantee you that men—especially trans men!!—absolutely relate to all of the things that you say men could never understand about being a girl. men can have depression, men can be insecure about their bodies, men can have feminine interests, men can enjoy “girly” things like makeup, fashion, ballet, etc. and trans men can have the exact same gender-related trauma that you do bc they get treated like girls all the time. so stop being fucking weird

#ugh ranting #its hard out here for a boy that just wants to be feminine and sensitive without judgement #angelposting

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firstdivisiongirl · 10 months

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okay im way too shy to say this off anon but ive been highkey lowkey stalking your blog and your vibes??? Immaculate. 100/10. you seem like a very Good and Safe person to be around and i look at some of the stuff you post/write and go ':] heehee this is enjoyable :]]]'

okok stalkerish ramblings aside, i do have a request, if youre comfortable with it!! could you write a ficlet/mini-fic (whatever term you'd like to use theres so many :,3) about a sanji x transmasc!reader?

basically reader is afab and has been dating sanji for a while now, but has just recently come to the realization that they are actually more comfortable/happy being referred to as a man!! obviously, they are scared of what sanjis going to think, especially because hes, well. respectfully, because sanjis Like That. but!!! but eventually they gather the courage to come out and tell him, and then you can write sanjis reaction(s) however you'd like!!! admittedly id like it to be fluffy, but if you want it to be angtsy then feel free to make it so <3<3

okok sorry for the wall of text uhh have a good day and take your time please 💗💞💗

Hi! Thank you so so much! I’m happy you really love my blog and vibes. Don’t feel shy. I’d love to meet you. You can totally DM if you ever want to talk or anything. I’d love to hear from you. This was fun to write and it took me so long because I wanted to make sure it was perfect for such a big fan of mine. I hope you like it and you enjoy this. Can’t wait to hear from you in the future.

The Real Me (Sanji x Trans man reader)

If there was one person you could talk to, it’d be your boyfriend Sanji. He was the sweetest, even when being sweet to all the other women in the world. But this time, that was the problem. Sanji treated women so respectfully, while men not so much. And you felt more comfortable with being a man than a woman. You were afraid to tell Sanji this because you were afraid he’d hate you and break up with you. You wanted to spend the rest of your life with him, but you also wanted to be referred to as a man. Everytime you thought you could tell Sanji, you’d see his face and get nervous.

One day, you decided it was time. You walked down to the kitchen early that morning. You looked through the porthole window. His ocean eyes sparkled with excitement as he stirred ingredients in an old pot or chopped veggies. The smile on his face reminded you of one of the many reasons you fell in love with him. You were starting to fear this talk, but you knew you had to. You bursted in a cold sweat, but walked into the kitchen. “Oh hello Y/N swan,” Sanji cheerfully said, “what’s my lovely girlfriend doing up and about so early?”

You sighed, “About that Sanji. I don’t feel comfortable with that.”

Sanji’s face lost all color, “what do you mean? Are you breaking up with me? Do you hate me? Is this mosshead’s fault?”

You grabbed his shoulders trying to get him to breathe. “No Sanji,” You said nervously, “I love you! I don’t want to break up at all. I just don’t feel comfortable as a girl. I feel more comfortable being called a man.”

Sanji looked at you. He paused for a second to process everything. You were getting really scared. Finally, he smiled. “Ok. I understand. If you prefer being referred to as a man, I’m happy to do so because I love you. How long have you felt this way?”

You looked down at the ground, “a while. I just didn’t know how to tell you.”

Sanji caressed your right cheek causing you to look at him. You saw nothing but love and admiration in his eyes. “I understand,” he started, “you were nervous. But I’ll love you no matter if you were a man, woman, fish, whatever. Just know that you can come to me with anything and I’ll never stop loving you.” He kissed you softly. You finally felt at ease. You helped him finish cooking breakfast.

Everyone started coming into the kitchen ready for breakfast. When everyone sat down, he got everyone’s attention. “So everyone before we start eating,” he said, grabbing your hand, “I’d like you all to meet my boyfriend, Y/N.” It was weird for him to introduce you to the crew because they all knew you, but it made sense. Now, they got to meet the real you.

Please do not copy, modify, translate, or repost my writing on other platforms. Comments, reblogs or likes are highly appreciated!

#one piece #trafalgar d nami #one piece sanji #sanji x reader #Thank you for being such a fan #I’m happy that you enjoy my work #I feel like Sanji is like the biggest sweetheart #Sanji is my favorite chef

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thebutchtheory · 9 months

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I've seen people say 'antitransmasculinity doesn't exist its just white transmascs being pussies' which. Fucking. What's your problem??

long post ahead.

long story short, the people that say that are trolls and/or a minority of people who don't represent the entire argument, so please don't take arguments saying that transmascs don't experience any problems for being trans seriously. they're not arguing in good faith. also, i have a lot of nuanced opinions on these subjects, lol.

when it comes to the whole discussion of talking about transmisogyny and anti-transmasculine transphobia, there's too many people with obsessively strong opinions on the subject and take absolutely no nuance to the discussion, and that's personally what i find irritating.

i don't believe the people saying that the transphobia transmascs/FTMs experience doesn't exist are a large enough crowd to really be worth paying attention to. sure, they'll make you mad, but that's not what the majority of the discussion is about, but most of them are either trolls or baeddels or some other form of person with a huge victim complex and/or a lack of nuance to the forms of oppression in place against transmasculine people.

yeah, transmisogyny is very blatant because people see men in dresses as jokes, and transfems are constantly treated as predatory men trying to force themselves into the spaces of "real innocent women". there are systems in place directly perpetuating these violent belief systems, which are usually more visible than the systems in place oppressing transmascs.

but there's a whole discussion to be had about the blatant misogyny transmascs experience by virtue of being born/perceived as women. you can't say that we don't experience misogyny because we're men/etc, or that it's "misdirected misogyny" because that's not how this works when you live in and move through the world as a woman whenever people don't know that you're trans. almost every argument toward, especially pre-t, transmascs is rooted so deeply in misogyny that the two cannot be separated.

we are treated as objects because women are treated as objects. the feminine beauty they project onto us is not something that we have control over, they are pushing this concept onto us because to them, our beauty belongs to them. women are (sexual) objects for cisgender heterosexual men and even other women to ogle at, and that's why trans men existing is such an unbelievable concept to them.

patriarchal beauty standards force women to pluck and groom and color themselves into something unrealistic to be seen and treated as vaguely a person, and the second we stop, they lose their shit over it. if we do it in a way they don't like, they lose their shit over it. if we realize that we're men and we don't want to do that all of that extremely particular grooming and makeup stuff anymore, they lose their shit. if we can only reclaim and truly feel our femininity in the context of being a man, they lose their shit.

literally every argument about pitying and saving the poor, generally pre-t, transmascs and saving us from mutilating ourselves is directly rooted in misogyny because no matter who they are, they believe that perceived women are too stupid to know what they want, so we need other people to tell us what we want for us.

but it's disingenuous to act like transmascs who pass are not treated as predatory groomers tricking "young girls" (pre-t transmascs) into believing that they're dirty disgusting trannies who will ruin their bodies and fertility and become no longer sexually attractive to cisgender heterosexual men who want to treat them as objects or cisgender heterosexual women who want to project themselves onto every (perceived) woman they see.

like, the transphobia that transmascs experience, i feel, is a lot more about misogyny than about being trans itself, or otherwise deeply intertwined with misogyny such that the two cannot exist without the other when a transmasculine person experiences transphobia.

and to be clear--this isn't me saying that trans men are trans men because of the patriarchy. this is a discussion about bodily autonomy and how (perceived) women aren't allowed to step outside of the boxes we're given by society without people telling us that we don't know what we want because (to them) we're women, or because we'll no longer be sexually attractive or sexually envious to them if we do something they don't like, from not shaving our legs to transitioning.

when we do this, we've been beaten, raped, sent to psych wards, lobotomized, cut off from the world, murdered, and more. in the experience of myself, a lot of my friends, and literature i've read, it's butches and transmascs that experience quite more violence related to being masculine and stepping outside of the lines of femininity in comparison to other cisgender queer people.

that's why there should be more solidarity between transmascs and butches, because we're not being treated this way specifically because we're trans as much as we're being treated this way for being perceived women stepping out of line of what the patriarchy wants us to do with ourselves.

this is also where the solidarity between transmascs and transfems needs to grow further, because transfems experience the very same thing, in the reverse.

they're not respecting what society wants from them as perceived men, and they experience misogyny directed at them specifically for daring to choose to be women, (because in the eyes of the oppressors, they're men and being a woman is the worst thing that a perceived man can be). they're stepping out of line for what the patriarchy wants for them and getting beaten down for it.

the people saying that the issues of transmascs aren't to be taken seriously lack any kind of reading into what transmasculine people experience and aren't worth arguing with because like i said, they're often trolls or part of the very small minority of people who don't believe transmascs have real problems, and that minority is a group of people not worth arguing with because they're essentially trans doomers and aren't open to having actual discussions on these topics.

they're not representative of the majority of people involved in the discussions surrounding transmisogyny and transandrophobia/anti-transmasculine transphobia, and i'm tired of seeing their takes being represented that way. there is a genuine discussion to be had, but i think a lot of problems from the transandrophobia side stem from people being unwilling to see that those arguments come from a small group of people that don't represent the whole argument and becoming vitriolic, whereas a lot of the arguments that the anti-transandrophobia side come from seeing those misdirected takes poorly trying to argue with said minority opinion and arguing against that, and/or seeing bad takes from people who straight up haven't read any queer literature or even people who straight up haven't experienced the genuine or truly vicious transphobia that i and many of my other friends have, because they come from accepting environments and blue states, so they have no idea what they're talking about in comparison to many of the transfems i know of or older queers i know of.

dose that many any sense?

there's a lot of things i have to say about what's largely white, middle class, blue state trans people (particularly transmascs) from accepting families dominating the conversations around being trans(masculine) and the oppression that comes with it, and how that will very much affect the way that they feel entitled to oppression, but that's a conversation for a different post.

#ask #spitblaze #transandrophobia #transmisogyny #transandrophobia discourse #trans discourse #transcourse #discourse #lgbt discourse

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stop-making-investment-jokes · 3 months

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okay I’ve seen soooo many investment jokes recently and I thought the fandom was mainly over this by now. if you can’t even bother to read this, clearly tiktok’s snappy short form content videos have ruined your brain’s attention span.

one of the primary issues within grishaverse fandom spaces is the excessive overdone jokes about inej being kaz’s investment. the reason why claiming a brown girl was ~romantically~ bought by someone with the expectation of making them money is bad should not be so hard to recognise and understand but I guess fandom culture really is that shitty, so

1) the joke is undeniably dehumanising and objectifying in general, but with inej’s history of being sex trafficked as a child (being continuously raped, beaten and having her identity and humanity stripped away) having the fandom make a joke both about kaz profiting off her as well as reducing her to a funny side joke about kaz’s “bad endearment terms” is especially distasteful. furthermore, the jokes perpetuate harmful lightheartedness about individuals who have survived exploitation. this lightheartedness contributes to the stigmatisation, misunderstanding and lack of empathy about real-world issues related to human trafficking and human exploitation and the severity of it. it’s essential to recognize that these jokes can deeply reinforce damaging notions and that yes, your “stupid funny text post” calling inej an investment is consequential and it is “that deep.”

2) if you genuinely think that kaz called inej an investment as a term of affection you have a terrible reading comprehension and terrible understanding of the contextual factors within this scene and should probably get off booktok. as well as severely discrediting both inej and kaz as characters.

while carrying inej, who is currently bleeding out in his arms, seconds after nearly witnessing her kill herself and trying to keep her awake and conversing with him, kaz says a shitty joke about protecting his investments to intentionally annoy her. this was not meant to be romantic or cute and I’m certain that it was the furthest thing on his might at that moment. while it didn’t appear to bother her at first, this caused inej severe emotional distress while she was kidnapped and nearly tortured in the next book, seeing as she thought she was nothing to kaz but an investment and that he wouldn’t come and save her. this is, evidently, challenged and explored in the book with kaz acknowledging what he said was unacceptable and reassuring inej that he would always come for her and that she is important and respected as a person. it was still necessary to the plot of the book for this all to occur but in no way is it a thing to romanticise.

I…should not have had to say this but yeah.

3) the ingrained misogynistic trend of treating women and girls as anything other than human beings in fandom spaces is perceptible in almost every aspect of their fandom characterisations. think of the way internet people with internalised sexism refer to their female characters with short, overused, female-oriented phrases like “mother” “girlboss” or “knife wife” rather then any kind of meaningful take like the thought and nuance in which they extend to their male faves, or any other similar example. this itself is problematic enough with the way we talk about women and girls (as well as infantilising trans men and gender non conforming people), but characters like inej or lucy carlyle from lockwood and co are constantly and repeatedly called assets and investments and objects on top of that and it’s not normal.

anyway please please stop making investment jokes about inej ghafa. it’s horrible and dehumanising. I’m so tired.

#stop making investment jokes #inej is not an object #inej ghafa #kaz brekker #kanej #kaz x inej #six of crows #crooked kingdom #grishaverse #leigh bardugo #anti tiktok #anti booktok #prostitution tw #rape tw #sex trafficking tw

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aarid · 9 months

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bitching about the queer community a little from the perspective of a trans man based on the last thing i reblogged but

GOD that really is it isn’t it, that’s how goddamn isolating this community feels some days. on top of the movement to praise women (please keep doing this btw, we win together or not at all) wrapping around into actively double-standard-misgendering people (’girlies/girl help/etc’ being seen as gender-neutral and almost exclusively coming from...not men, but also those same people yell at you if “dude” or “bro” is gender-neutral in your personal lexicon) or just flat-out discouraging people from being positive toward men (this is TERF rhetoric please clear your mental cache every once in a while), we’re locked out from the solidarity we built up with women before we ever came out. we go from someone who Knows (tm) to The Enemy (tm) the moment we swap pronouns, and it’s heartbreaking. this is EXTREMELY prominent for older trans men. so many of us didn’t know for so long. i was 25. i’m 31 now. i’ve only spent 20% of my life knowing who i am and living as a man, and i was raised in a very queer-positive environment and was out to EVERYONE within a week of realizing i was trans. people who find out in their mid twenties or later have already had their literal entire childhood shaped by misogyny, especially those who were NOT raised in queer-friendly environments. and then we’re out, and we’re shoehorned in next to cis men that don’t accept us until we’re so transitioned we can be stealth, and are told there’s no way we understand what women go through, like i don’t still bleed, like i don’t have tits, like i wouldn’t fucking get it in the deepest center of my bones even if i were post-op because i lived it for a quarter of a fucking century. and this goes both goddamn ways. trans women are women and can still be misogynistic as FUCK because they were raised in the box that perpetuates that and society treated them differently growing up. stop with the "man-hating feminist” bullshit, stop with the “trans men can’t understand misogyny the way women understand it,” stop with the “trans women can’t be wrong about women’s struggles” shit. we are human beings. the parts we were born with may not value us one way or another intrinsically, but every one of us grew up in a societal norm that we have to unlearn and pick apart because of the circumstances of our birth. that’s part of the world we currently live in and until we DO pick it apart and learn to be better, it is not going to change. and be a little goddamn nicer to trans men, fuck’s sake.

#charlie shut up #ventinggggGGG

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elfowl-42 · 1 year

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Just accidentally reblogged a "Gender critical" "radfem" post about "Why can't pro-trans people define "what is a woman" without being sexist, why it is so hard to say 'adult human female'." Because I genuinely thought it was a pro-trans take, and had to re-read it, to get what they were actually trying to say. Because yes, to me I am female, I am a woman. I would say that I fit the definition "Adult human female." We disagree so fully on the definitions of words that we would say the exact same things and mean something completely different.

I do not understand what is sexist about saying "A woman is someone who identifies as a woman" It is literally treating all biological sexes the same. It's more inclusive since it includes intersex people. Do they think it's sexist because I'm saying "Anyone can be a woman but only biological males can be men"? Because I don't think that. My definition of a man is "Someone who identifies as a man."

There are women born with penises, and I'm not even talking about people with XY chromosomes who transition, I'm talking about people with XX chromosomes, who have both the phenotype and genotype to look perfectly female, but for whatever reason they have a penis instead of a vagina. They grow up being seen as a girl, facing the same misogyny and social pressures as any other AFAB person in our society. Why would anyone tell them that they aren't a woman that their experience is invalid, that they don't belong to this group, because of a few cubic inches of flesh?

This same person was claiming that the term "Lesbian" is being destroyed by people claiming that lesbians can like people with penises. As far as I know, lesbian is defined as "A woman who is sexually attracted to other women." If the woman from the example above is sexually attracted to women, why would you try to exclude her from the spaces designed to protect and nurture people like her? Do you think she should be forced into male exclusive spaces? Do you really want to throw intersex people under the bus, just to be able to exclude trans women because they haven't been seen as women their whole lives?

I know that I have benefitted from male privilege for most of my life, and still do whenever I decide to go out en masc, since I pass as cis. I mostly likely still benefit from it somewhat when I go out en fem, since I don't pass as female yet. I'm trying my best to stop benefitting from that privilege whenever it is safe to do so. (I'll readily admit to trying to hold onto it when it comes to situations where it's a matter of safety. I hope you won't begrudge me that, I understand if you do, but that does make you an asshole. I wish I could give you that same safety) And it is my responsibility to support the voices of my sisters when I can on issues that don't affect me. To not talk over them, and to raise up their views and voices on abortion, mensuration and mensural products, birth control, the wage gap, and women's rights.

Please don't misconstrue this as me saying "I'm a woman so all lesbians have to be attracted to me." because they don't. Everyone is allowed to not be attracted to other people for any reason. It's not something we can control (or do you say that sexual attraction is a choice now?) If you're not attracted to penises specifically, that's fine, if you're not attracted to me specifically, that's fine. If you're not attracted to trans people specifically, I'd ask you to make sure it's not because of a misconception of us as a threat, or any less of our gender than cis people, but if not, that's perfectly fine. But womanhood is not defined solely by biology. No one is not a lesbian because they're attracted to me, and I'm not not a lesbian because of how I was born. Or do you really want to go back to the misogynistic idea that all a woman is is a vagina, a womb, and a pair of tits?

#transgender #trans #terf nonsense #lesbian #sapphic #misogyny #trans misogyny #lgbt #lgbtqia+#protect trans peopl #protect lgbt peopl

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