Yet Were Its Making Good, For This- Parting
“Are you sure you will not need horses?”
“No. And there really is no need for you to accompany us any further, Mablung. I do know these paths.”
Mablung inclined his head.
“Better than even I, I doubt it not.” he said courteously “But I know which paths will be clear of prying eyes and eager ears. I figured that you would not want to be confronted with any more people who want to say their farewells.”
Lúthien made a small noise of surprise, but said nothing more to the matter, and so they went on walking in silence. Mablung had not as yet been able to wrap his head around what had happened, even though it had been days since Beren and Lúthien had returned alive to Menegroth.
He had not believed it at first, had thought this some fell jest of Morgoth’s even, something to mock them with. But then Lúthien had walked up to Elu and laid her hand on his cheek, and at her touch he had stirred out of his frozen state, much like an animal that was awoken from hibernation by the first warm sunbeam of spring would stir, starved and weak and filled with incredulity and joy at finding itself alive. That more than anything else told Mablung that Lúthien truly was back.
All the more horrible it had been to learn how she had achieved it, that truly, her return was but a final farewell. Mablung’s throat constricted even now as he thought about the moment of their learning the truth, and at the memory of the King and Queen’s reactions. Melian’s pain had been almost palpable. She had grieved for Lúthien before, but there had always been this deep trust within her that she would see her daughter again, and that Lúthien was well cared for in the Halls of Mandos. To see the Queen lose this lifeline still made Mablung's heart ache, for Melian was dear to him in so many ways.
He had also rather expected Elu to fall back into the darkness of his grief, but that he had not done. Instead, he had borne Lúthien’s revelations as a wrongdoer would bear his just punishment. ‘As he should’ some had said, and surely, it was the reaction that the Iathrim expected from their King. After all, he was the one to whom they ultimately went to set any arising quarrels, in whose judgement they trusted. So how better to show that he was indeed worthy of this trust than by proving that he did not hold himself to be above justice? Mablung, however, knew Elu better than that. Not that he doubted the sincerity of Elu's remorse, or else his readiness to bear his grief as punishment, but that did not spark confidence in him at all, quite the contrary. Yes, he had been furious with Elu for how he had handled Beren and Lúthien’s romance, and had been terrified when their deaths had so unhinged him, but to now see all fight go out of him was a whole new terror to Mablung. He had not watched his King bow to the consequences of his actions, he had watched his utter destruction.
This is not just, Mablung thought. Elu had not hurt Lúthien on purpose, had not even taken direct action to harm Beren. Mablung vividly recalled Elmo claiming that no pain could be greater than that of losing one’s child, and he wholeheartedly believed that to be true, even if he had no children of his own. So how than could anyone see it as just for Elu to not only go through this pain as a consequence of his own actions but to lose his daughter completely, when no other elf ever had had to go through this?
But just or not, it would not be changed, and so Mablung had watched silently as Elu had bidden Lúthien and Beren goodbye in the morning, unable to hide his tears. Melian had not been able to face this farewell at all. Now his own grief was small compared to theirs, Mablung was aware, but still it hurt to know that he himself had to say farewell to them in this hour, too.
“I think…” he said, carefully keeping his voice even and free from the emotions that were raging within him “… that you can now trust to be left alone even without my guide. This, therefore, is the time of our parting.”
Lúthien and Beren halted beside him, both facing him with the same expression of mingled regret and anticipation.
“Mablung, I… I cannot thank you enough for all you did for me, not least for keeping our departure unwatched.”
He bowed low.
“I shall ever be at your service, my lady. And at yours, Beren.”
They both inclined their heads as well, then Lúthien said:
“I shall miss Doriath. More than I would like to admit.”
“I assure you, lady, that you shall be missed even more gravely.”
Lúthien sighed deeply.
“I know…” she said “But I cannot remain here, not after what I did. I cannot remain here and pretend to be Princess of an immortal realm still, when I am no longer… well. Besides, I think I have hurt my parents quite enough already without them having to watch us die a second time.”
“I am afraid that you will wound them further whether you leave here or no.” Mablung replied quietly.
“Watch over them for me, Mablung. Nana and Ada. Please? And over Elmo and Thônwen and Galathil and little Nimloth and Celeborn and Galadriel and… everyone.”
Tears glistened in Lúthien’s eyes as she spoke, telling clearly of the love she still bore for her old home and her family.
“That I will do to the best of my ability.” Mablung replied earnestly.
When Lúthien spoke again, it was with a desperate note to her voice, as if she were pleading with Mablung to believe her.
“I never intended to hurt them. I love them dearly, all of them. But I could not… I could not take any other path.”
“Nay, Lady Lúthien, do not apologise. I would have done the same, had such a decision come upon me. I would have gone to Angband and even the Void for the one I love, too.”
Was there a knowing look to her eyes at his words? Would it trouble him if she knew, Mablung wondered? He believed not.
“Still I wish it had never come to this.” he added. “I wish fate had not taken such twisted paths.”
There were so many ways in which that calamity could have been avoided. From the very beginning, all their interactions had been flawed by the customs of their peoples. Beren need not have asked Lúthien’s hand at all. If they had just wed in accordance to elvish law, they could have confronted Elu and his court with that fact, and nobody needed to get hurt, safe perhaps Elu’s pride. Or else if they had just decided to abandon their quest and returned without that accursed gem after some time, after the mood had cooled. Or if…
“One thing there is that I still need to know before we part, Beren, or my mind will likely never rest. Why did you step before Carcharoth? Why, when you must have thought your paths to be sundered, did you throw your life away when you were newly wed? What were you trying to prove?”
Beren stared at him, aghast.
“I never… I never thought of it that way. But I was not trying to prove anything but keep that monster from tearing my father-in-law to pieces. I…”
“You deemed yourself harder to overcome than an elf?” Mablung asked with a wry smile. However tragic the matter, Beren’s knack for overestimating himself was rather amusing. The man scowled.
“I don’t know how quickly the Eldar can do their thinking, but I can say so much for Men- there was not enough time for me to think about anything, not even…” he glanced apologetically at his wife “…about Lúthien. I just moved. I would have done the same had it been you or Beleg that Carcharoth had aimed at.”
Mablung nodded silently. What was done could not be undone, but it greatly put his mind at ease to know that there had been no scheming on Beren’s side. As if he had read Mablung’s thoughts, Beren asked indignantly:
“Did you think I did that on purpose? To somehow punish Elu for the quest? I assure you, I did not. For even had I held a grudge against him still, which I did not then and do not now, I would not have forfeit my life for revenge, and much less Lúthien’s love. And besides, how could I have known what Lúthien was prepared to do, or that even the Valar would bow to her stubbornness?”
His hands had curled into fists by his side, yet still Mablung could not prevent his tears from falling now.
“Your thoughts have been dark, Mablung.” Lúthien said sadly “Yet I do not blame you.”
“Nor do I.” Beren added sincerely.
“Will you ever return?”
Mablung had not meant to ask so boldly, but the misery that almost choked him left no more room for politeness.
“We will.” Lúthien assured him, taking Beren’s hand and smiling at him. “Someday. And when we come to visit, it might be that we do not come alone.”
Mablung smiled, marvelling at Lúthien’s words, a spark of new hope flickering in his heart.
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