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bangtans-momma · 6 months

Text

S͟a͟v͟a͟g̲e͟ L͟o͟v͟e͟

Pairing: Jimin X OC. Jungkook X OC

Length: 10,000+ words

Rating: 15+ (it has no sexual activity or extreme violence, but has adult themes like cheating, toxic relationship, pregnancy and swearing, some mention of sexual themes but not graphic)

TW/Content: Angsty,angsty fluff, sadness, anger, mild violence (punching), depression, low self esteem, toxic relationship, hateful words, gaslighting, emotionally abusive, jealousy, mentally abusive, arguing and shouting, OC is chubby, unrequited love (but not really), male best friend is always there, clueless best friends, cheating, pregnancy (not OC) fluffy best friend, swearing, bad body image, Angst with happy ending, feelings exposed.

Kissing and hugging, mention of sexual things but no actual sexual content.

(Maybe in a part two if I feel like it)

But Jungkook has soft dom energy in the way he talks to her and treats her.

OC and Jimin being savage loves in their own ways. Taehyung being her secret rant buddy, who listens to her melt downs.

Genre: Angst, Toxic relationship, break up, angsty with a happy ending. Best friends being clueless.

Authors note: Not proof read but checked quickly by myself, was written in a day so it just flew out of my head.

Capitals means they are shouting or screaming at each other, which means that when she tells Jimin off she is really MAD!

Wanted to prove I could write something without the story getting sexual or yandere etc. And I would SHARE IT!

Sorry about the font, but not going over it to change it now. Had trouble with copy and paste, but I like it this way!

Link to a savage love Drabble below.

Master List Link: here

Savage Love Master List: here

Second Part (Standing Next To You): here

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S͟a͟v͟a͟g̲e͟ L͟o͟v͟e͟

Flashback

"𝑰'𝒎 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒔𝒍𝒆𝒆𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒅...."

𝑨 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒚 𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒊𝒔 𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔, 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒂𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆.

"𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑫𝑰𝑪𝑬! 𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲!”

𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒌𝒔 𝒖𝒑 𝒕𝒐 𝒖𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒔𝒐𝒍𝒖𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒇𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒎𝒆.

"𝑺𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒉𝒆𝒓, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏'𝒕!"

𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒆𝒙𝒂𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅.

𝑰'𝒎 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒄𝒌 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒃𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆.

"𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏? 𝑯𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒏'𝒕 𝒊 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒆𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒂𝒍𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒚? 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒚𝒆𝒕 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒕 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅'𝒕 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏! 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓'𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆!"

𝑰 𝒚𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆, 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝑰 𝒂𝒎 𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒆.

𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒇𝒂𝒓𝒄𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒏𝒐𝒘, 𝒊'𝒗𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒆𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉.

"𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆! 𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝑰 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆, 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒂 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅. 𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒔! 𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒃𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕!“

𝑯𝒆 𝒆𝒙𝒄𝒍𝒂𝒊𝒎𝒔 𝒑𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒆𝒈𝒈𝒚 𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒅 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒆 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒔𝒂𝒊𝒅.

"𝑬𝑿𝑪𝑼𝑺𝑬 𝑴𝑬! 𝑰𝑻 𝑾𝑨𝑺 𝑵𝑶𝑻 𝑨 𝑶𝑵𝑬 𝑵𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑱𝑰𝑴𝑰𝑵! 𝑶𝑹 𝑳𝑰𝑬𝑺!"

𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒔 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒆.

"𝑺𝒉𝒖𝒕 𝒖𝒑 𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒆”

𝑯𝒆 𝒈𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒉 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒓𝒚.

"𝑰 𝑾𝑰𝑳𝑳 𝑵𝑶𝑻 𝑺𝑯𝑼𝑻 𝑼𝑷! 𝑺𝑯𝑬 𝑫𝑬𝑺𝑬𝑹𝑽𝑬𝑺 𝑻𝑶 𝑲𝑵𝑶𝑾”

𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒆𝒙𝒄𝒍𝒂𝒊𝒎𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒅𝒍𝒚.

𝑷𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒊𝒍𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒚 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒖𝒎𝒂 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏....𝑮𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕!

"𝑰 𝑺𝑨𝑰𝑫 𝑺𝑯𝑼𝑻 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲 𝑼𝑷!"

𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒕 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒇𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒉 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒅 𝒊𝒕 𝒊𝒔, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒈𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒚.

𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏'𝒕 𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒗𝒆 𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒑𝒉𝒚𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒆𝒓, 𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒆'𝒔 𝒂 𝒑𝒊𝒆𝒄𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒉𝒆’𝒔 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒑𝒉𝒚𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒃𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆!

"𝑯𝑶𝑾 𝑫𝑨𝑹𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑮𝑬𝑻 𝑰𝑵 𝑴𝒀 𝑭𝑨𝑪𝑬!"

𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒑𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒑𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒓𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎.

"𝑫𝒐 𝑵𝑶𝑻 𝒕𝒐𝒖𝒄𝒉 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏! 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒑𝒊𝒆𝒄𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕!"

𝑯𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒉𝒂𝒊𝒓 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒔 𝒑𝒖𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌.

"𝑰'𝒎 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝑨𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒆, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒕𝒔 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏'𝒔 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒚. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒌𝒔 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒌𝒆𝒆𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒚. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒓𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒘. 𝑯𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒗𝒐𝒍𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒌𝒔 𝒂𝒈𝒐. 𝑯𝒆 𝒌𝒆𝒑𝒕 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒔𝒉 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒐𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒘. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏'𝒕"

𝑯𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒆.

"𝑭𝑶𝑹 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲𝑺 𝑺𝑨𝑲𝑬 𝑴𝑨𝑵𝑫𝒀! 𝑰 𝑺𝑨𝑰𝑫 𝑰 𝑾𝑶𝑼𝑳𝑫 𝑻𝑬𝑳𝑳 𝑯𝑬𝑹!”

𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒔 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅, 𝒔𝒐 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒆.

𝑴𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒔, 𝒊'𝒎 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝑰 𝒂𝒎 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒑𝒔𝒆, 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒊'𝒎 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒂 𝒑𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒄 𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒌.

𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒂𝒅𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝑻𝒂𝒆𝒉𝒚𝒖𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒉 𝒈𝒂𝒑𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒏.

𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒈𝒐𝒆𝒔 𝒒𝒖𝒊𝒆𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒑𝒔, 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒓𝒖𝒏 𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒊'𝒎 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒄𝒌 𝒊𝒏 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒆.

𝑾𝒉𝒚 𝒅𝒐 𝑰 𝒑𝒖𝒕 𝒖𝒑 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏?

𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒐𝒏 𝑨𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒆, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒑𝒖𝒕 𝒖𝒑 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔, 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒅𝒆𝒍𝒖𝒅𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍!

"𝑺𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒆?"

𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒒𝒖𝒊𝒆𝒕𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒊𝒎.

"𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒐𝒌𝒂𝒚, 𝒘𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝑰 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝑺𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒏𝒐 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏, 𝑰 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒈𝒐 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝒑𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒏 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒖𝒑 𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒓 𝒈𝒐 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒍𝒖𝒃𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒆. 𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝒊 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒚𝒆𝒅 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒊 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖. 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒅𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏'𝒕 𝒔𝒍𝒆𝒆𝒑 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍 𝒂𝒏𝒅.."

𝑯𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒓𝒚 𝒈𝒂𝒔𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒚 𝒎𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒂 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒂𝒄𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒂𝒖𝒍𝒕 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏.

𝑰 𝒐𝒇𝒇𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒏𝒂𝒑!

"𝑫𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕! 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑱𝑰𝑴𝑰𝑵! 𝑰 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑯𝑨𝑻𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼! 𝑮𝑬𝑻 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑯𝑬𝑳𝑳 𝑨𝑾𝑨𝒀 𝑭𝑹𝑶𝑴 𝑴𝑬! 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑫𝑰𝑫 𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑺 𝑻𝑶 𝑴𝑬? 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑻𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑬𝑫 𝑴𝑬 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬 𝑺𝑯𝑰𝑻 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑴𝑨𝑫𝑬 𝑴𝑬 𝑭𝑬𝑬𝑳 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬 𝑺𝑯𝑰𝑻. 𝑰 𝑾𝑨𝑺 𝑵𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬 𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑺 𝑩𝑬𝑭𝑶𝑹𝑬 𝑰 𝑴𝑬𝑻 𝒀𝑶𝑼!”

𝑰 𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒆 𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒆, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒚 𝒎𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒂 𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒆.

𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝑰 𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒖𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒏𝒂𝒑 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒄𝒓𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒓 𝒓𝒖𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅.

"𝑮𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒍𝒖𝒄𝒌! 𝑰'𝒎 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒃𝒚 𝒉𝒊𝒎. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒕, 𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒏 𝒎𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒆 𝒚𝒆𝒂𝒓'𝒔. 𝑺𝒍𝒆𝒑𝒕 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒚 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒂 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒏𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅, 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔. 𝑻𝒉𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒐𝒇 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒚 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏, 𝒂𝒍𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒕, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝑺𝑻𝑫'𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒔𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒅. 𝑯𝒆 𝒈𝒂𝒔𝒍𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒂𝒅𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒅𝒆𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅, 𝒂𝒏𝒙𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇. 𝑩𝒆𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒆! 𝑩𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒂 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒂 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒓!"

𝑰 𝒔𝒄𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒊 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒂𝒕 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏, 𝑰 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒛𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰'𝒎 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒖𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒚 𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒆.

"𝑮𝑶𝑶𝑫𝑩𝒀𝑬 𝑱𝑰𝑴𝑰𝑵! 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑵𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹 𝑺𝑯𝑶𝑾 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑭𝑨𝑪𝑬 𝑨𝑹𝑶𝑼𝑵𝑫 𝑴𝑬 𝑨𝑮𝑨𝑰𝑵. 𝑰'𝑴 𝑨𝑩𝑺𝑶𝑳𝑼𝑻𝑬𝑳𝒀 𝑫𝑶𝑵𝑬!"

𝑰 𝒔𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎, 𝑰'𝒎 𝒂𝒃𝒔𝒐𝒍𝒖𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒓𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒈.

"𝒀𝑬𝑨𝑯 𝑮𝑶 𝑭𝑰𝑵𝑫 𝑱𝑼𝑵𝑮𝑲𝑶𝑶𝑲 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑨𝑳𝑾𝑨𝒀𝑺 𝑫𝑶! 𝑰'𝑴 𝑺𝑼𝑹𝑬 𝑯𝑬 𝑾𝑰𝑳𝑳 𝑴𝑨𝑲𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑭𝑬𝑬𝑳 𝑩𝑬𝑻𝑻𝑬𝑹! 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑯𝑨𝑽𝑬 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑩𝑨𝑩𝑳𝒀 𝑩𝑬𝑬𝑵 𝑺𝑳𝑬𝑬𝑷𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯 𝑯𝑰𝑴 𝑨𝑵𝒀𝑾𝑨𝒀, 𝑰 𝑪𝑨𝑵 𝑻𝑬𝑳𝑳 𝑯𝑬 𝑾𝑨𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑫 𝑻𝑶 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑾𝑯𝑶𝑳𝑬 𝑻𝑰𝑴𝑬. 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑫𝑬𝑭𝑰𝑵𝑰𝑻𝑬𝑳𝒀 𝑾𝑨𝑺𝑵'𝑻 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑴𝑬 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑳𝑨𝑺𝑻 𝑺𝑰𝑿 𝑴𝑶𝑵𝑻𝑯𝑺!”

𝑯𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒔 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒂𝒕 𝒎𝒆.

"𝑫𝑶𝑵'𝑻 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹 𝑻𝑨𝑳𝑲 𝑨𝑩𝑶𝑼𝑻 𝑱𝑼𝑵𝑮𝑲𝑶𝑶𝑲 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬 𝑻𝑯𝑨𝑻! 𝑴𝑨𝒀𝑩𝑬 𝑰 𝑺𝑯𝑶𝑼𝑳𝑫 𝑯𝑨𝑽𝑬 𝑮𝑶𝑻𝑻𝑬𝑵 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯 𝑯𝑰𝑴 𝑩𝑬𝑭𝑶𝑹𝑬 𝑰 𝑴𝑬𝑻 𝒀𝑶𝑼, 𝑺𝑶 𝑰 𝑾𝑶𝑼𝑳𝑫 𝑯𝑨𝑽𝑬 𝑵𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹 𝑮𝑶𝑻 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑨𝑺𝑺. 𝑨𝑺 𝑯𝑬'𝑺 𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑨 𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑳 𝑴𝑨𝑵 𝑨𝑪𝑻'𝑺 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬. 𝑵𝑶𝑻 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑺𝑬𝑹𝑰𝑨𝑳 𝑪𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑮, 𝑬𝑴𝑶𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑨𝑳𝑳𝒀 𝑨𝑩𝑼𝑺𝑰𝑽𝑬, 𝑮𝑨𝑺𝑳𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑨𝑺𝑺!𝑰 𝑯𝑨𝑽𝑬 𝑵𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹 𝑪𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑬𝑫 𝑶𝑵 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑵 𝑻𝑯𝑶𝑼𝑮𝑯 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑫𝑬𝑺𝑬𝑹𝑽𝑬𝑫 𝑰𝑻. 𝑺𝑶 𝑲𝑬𝑬𝑷 𝑴𝒀 𝑩𝑬𝑺𝑻 𝑭𝑹𝑰𝑬𝑵𝑫𝑺 𝑵𝑨𝑴𝑬 𝑶𝑼𝑻 𝑶𝑭 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑺𝑻𝑫 𝑹𝑰𝑫𝑫𝑬𝑵 𝑴𝑶𝑼𝑻𝑯! 𝑮𝑶𝑶𝑫𝑩𝒀𝑬 𝑨𝑺𝑺𝑯𝑶𝑳𝑬!“

𝑰 𝒚𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒑𝒖𝒔𝒉 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒇𝒇, 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝑱𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒌𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕!

𝑰 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝑻𝒂𝒆𝒉𝒚𝒖𝒏𝒈 𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒂 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍 𝒑𝒊𝒆𝒄𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒔 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒐𝒇𝒇, 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒖𝒄𝒌 𝒐𝒇𝒇.

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒆'𝒔 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎, 𝑰 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒍𝒂𝒑𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒎.

𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒌𝒆𝒆𝒑𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒅 𝒉𝒊𝒈𝒉, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒅𝒐, 𝑰'𝒎 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒆.

𝑰'𝒎 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒂𝒔 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒐𝒇𝒇, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒊𝒔𝒏’𝒕 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎.

𝑵𝒐𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆!

========================================

All I can do is sob and I can't think of anything else, I can't sleep, I haven't showered or bathed in four days and I haven't thought of eating either, I tried to but it tastes like cardboard.

I feel like I just got out of a fever dream, one of my own stupid making.

I bet I look dreadful, I know my eyes are swollen and bloodshot and my face is definitely all puffy and red, I know I’m looking awful.

My hair is probably looking like a literal bird's nest right now and my eyes will also be looking black too from zero sleep.

I bet I look like the crypt keeper right now, but a fat one!

I muted my phone calls at first, then I turned it off where there were annoying notification sounds coming from all my social media too.

Some randoms I didn't even know had been messaging me, I know they are just trying to get the dirt on the absolute shit show that is my life right now.

I know they all filmed what has to be the most humiliating moment of my life, I hope my brother doesn't see it but I bet Jungkook heard about it from Taehyung who was there too.

Taehyung was a good friend to me but it was secret because he was my fellow rant buddy, he knew things I couldn’t tell the others.

So that means Jin probably does know.

I don’t want any lectures or pity parties.

I cringe knowing that everyone is gonna say I told you so, but really they all don't know the truth of why I stayed with him.

Someone was banging on my door for half an hour yesterday but I didn't answer it, just in case it was Jimin.

As I didn't want to see him or listen to his gaslighting ass.

He tried knocking on the door and calling all day Sunday after his baby momma and her friend had told me what he had done.

This is the thing he couldn't ever fix, not this time...It's permanent.

And my toxic nightmare is finally over...It’s finally done.

Why does he always do this to me?

He always cheats on me and then comes back telling me that he was wasted, drunk or the woman came onto him.

Then he manipulates me, lies, gas lights me and then cries if I don't listen to his apologies.

He knows how much it messes with my head, with my body image, especially when the women are tall, model looking and slim.

I'm short and also chubby, I wear glasses and wear cute and comfortable clothes, not short tight dresses.

Someone is currently banging on my door again and I just pull the quilt over my head trying to hide from the whole world.

I can hear someone shouting but I just put my hands over my ears and hum childishly under the blankets wanting the shouting and banging to stop.

When the banging stops I sigh, why don't they get that I don't want anyone's pity or fake sad faces, I don't want anyone asking me bullshit questions under the guise of being nice just so they can get the tea about my trauma.

And I definitely don't want to see Jimin.

I don't want to talk about how my heart has been ripped from my chest and stomped on, and not just by Jimin.

Or how there is no coming back from this, no lie or manipulation can make this go away, it's the permanent kind of mistake that I don't want to live with or have to deal with, not anymore.

I can't keep my mind occupied from what really torments me, I usually distract my mind with the drama Jimin brings me but not anymore, this is too much.

Jimin made his bed and he can damn well lay in it, we are done and I'm finally grieving the utter disappointment, disaster and despair that my relationship with him has been.

This whole relationship has damaged my soul and will leave a permanent mark.

Toxic wasn't a strong enough word to describe what our relationship was.

When I jumped into this relationship it was to forget someone else, but it never worked.

I’d never have to be there waiting for him to come home from the club anymore, or knowing I’m sleeping alone yet again.

Calling him only to get voicemail again or texting and seeing that he’s left me on read for the thousandth time.

Having people DM me to tell me that they are sleeping with Jimin or that they have just seen Jimin cheating with someone.

Or the multiple women’s scents lingering on his clothes, the occasional makeup smears on his shirt.

The marks he insists are scratches or pinch marks from working out.

My heart is no longer in my chest and I feel hollow and empty, but I also feel a strange calm, a feeling of relief that I can finally break free from this toxic and painful farce of a relationship.

It's cathartic and it feels like I have broken free from him mentally, emotionally and physically.

I'm grieving the painful loss but I'm scared of being alone after all my friends left or betrayed me because of him and of course some left because of me staying with him after his cheating.

It's been three years of me eating away my sorrows, crying into my best friend's arms, getting medication to deal with my depression and anxiety because of the pain and suffering.

Three years of my body looking worse and me not caring about my appearance anymore, because that's how I feel inside...Worthless and hollow.

Like I would never deserve or get the man I really wanted, he’s proven time and time again that he only wants to be my best friend.

When I think about it I don't ever remember a time when Jimin wasn't hurting me or making me feel like a piece of garbage.

Our honeymoon period was about six months and then it went to shit, then I found out he had cheated.

My friends all warned me away from him when I was in my first year of college and I should have listened, I was stupid and thought I could see the best in people.

One by one my friends had arguments with me about him, lost interest because of my depression and me not going out much anymore, or they slept with Jimin too.

The only ones I still see are my brother Seokjin and my best friend Jungkook, even though they don't see me as much due to them having arguments with Jimin about how he treats me.

Taehyung is sometimes still around when we are together as a group due to Jungkook and Jin though.

I see Taehyung on my own sometimes because he knows my big secret. He was there at a really bad time for me one night and saw my terrible meltdown.

No one else knows he is my rant buddy though, not even Jungkook or Jimin.

But I don't see Yoongi or Namjoon anymore because they detest Jimin.

I have lost count of the amount of times Jin had Jimin by his shirt threatening to punch his lights out.

Jungkook punched him once for sleeping with my other best friend Sharmin, they were doing it behind my back for six months.

This was at the beginning of the second year of our relationship.

My other childhood friend Denise slept with him on a drunken night out too, it was the night that I went to my auntie's wedding with Jin and Jungkook.

Jimin didn't want to come to the wedding with me because my family really hates him and he refused to be judged by them.

I wasn't aware that they all knew he was a cheater because Jin had told them.

That incident with Denise was the first time I was aware of him cheating on me, others already knew he was a cheater and they all tried to shield me from it.

They tried to force Jimin to break up with me but he never did, he would just goad them and tell them to fuck off.

It’s why Yoongi had punched him, he was vile about it and had got up in Yoongi’s face too.

The others knew because they had caught Jimin in the act multiple times, they had all threatened him, had him by the throat and had even punched him.

A mutual friend of all of ours Taehyung took a picture of them kissing in the club that night and had sent it to Jungkook’s phone, who totally gave it away by the look on his face and I found out because I grabbed his phone feeling worried for him.

It was then that he told me everything and explained how it wasn't the first time, I also found out that day that Jimin was cheating on me the whole time.

He promised to change and I believed him like a stupid idiot, I clung to a useless pipe dream.

Should've known better.

Jungkook has been my best friend since we were six and we have both grown up together, we went through our teens learning and making mistakes.

We had shared our first kiss when we were 13, a peck and it was a dare whilst we were ditching at his house and Jungkook was a little awkward for a few weeks after but we got over it.

Nothing else like that happened for at least a year after, I think we were fifteen when it started to happen again.

Both of us started having a rebellious stage that sort of started when we were thirteen but got worse when we were both sixteen.

We were bunking off school and daring each other to do things, getting drunk and smoking weed.

We once went skinny dipping because of a dare and another time I had to flash him, we had our first French kiss together at 16 too and we made out grinding on each other when we were wasted too, but Jungkook obviously didn't remember it because he got a girlfriend two weeks later.

We are the kind of friends who are comfortable cuddling and sharing a bed, telling each other our secrets and dreams.

I had a huge crush on him all through my childhood and teen years, by the time I was sixteen I knew that I was totally in love with him.

I lamented the whole thing and tortured myself about telling him, I was worried that I would lose him.

I was finally going to tell him on my seventeenth birthday after my other friend Denise told me to go for it, but a few days before I was going to surprise him he got a girlfriend and my heart literally broke into pieces.

I stayed being his friend and had to watch him be with another girl, so I had to learn to separate my crush from my friendship.

The only boyfriend I have ever had was Jimin.

I told Jungkook I had a boyfriend when he asked me what the surprise was but I didn't have one.

I lied when he got his first girlfriend and wasn't spending as much time with me, by the time he finished with the girl I just said I split up with the fake boyfriend.

I also lied and told him I had sex with that boyfriend before I met Jimin, I didn't though.

He was disappointed at me for staying with Jimin and our relationship suffered a lot because he would get angry at me every time I forgave Jimin.

Jungkook would argue with me, with our hurt feelings he would stay away for a few days, then come back knowing how hurt I would be to lose him too.

========================================

I panic when I hear the keys unlock my front door, wondering who the hell would have the spare keys.

Who would be able to get them from my mother?

I hope it's not Seokjin as he will kill Jimin this time and I don't want him to get arrested due to me.

I grip on to my quilt when I hear the footsteps approaching, I don't want anyone to see me like this.

"Princess?"

I breath hitches immediately and I hear him sigh, he tries to pull the quilt from me.

"Baby, come on it's okay, let me see you"

I pull the quilt from my head and my lip quivers when he looks down to me with sad eyes.

"Oh my Princess, come here"

He pulls me into his arms and I straddle him crying my heart out, he smooths my back softly rocking me.

"It's okay Baby, it's gonna be okay. I'm here now and I'm gonna take care of my Princess"

Jungkook has come like he usually does. Why does he always come to save me, comfort me and look after me?

I don't deserve his kindness and love.

He's had to put up with this kind of shit for the three years of me being with Jimin and he still hasn't left this friendship.

"I heard from Taehyung that you had a huge argument in college with Jimin, he only picked up some details, I'm so sorry Baby. You don't deserve this kind of pain, my Princess. I tried calling you and texting and you didn't answer, I got really worried when you didn't answer the door to me Baby. I had to go get the keys from momma when you didn't answer the phone or the door"

He caresses my hair as he carries on gently rocking me, he's always called my Mother momma too.

"He...He...J-Jungkook..He..I.."

That's it I start sobbing again.

"It's okay Baby, you don't have to talk about it yet, don't upset yourself"

He coos at me kissing the top of my head.

"Don't cry Princess, it hurts my heart, please don't cry"

He sounds forlorn when he talks to me, it’s like he is in pain too.

My cries eventually turn into shudders and I calm down.

I must have fallen asleep in his arms because when I open my eyes again it's dark outside.

He must be stiff from holding me in the same position for so long.

"Are you awake?"

I hear him whisper and I nod into his chest.

"Shall we get you something to eat, and don't say no because I know you haven't ate anything in days, I know you by now"

He quietly says into my hair.

"Not hungry"

I mumble into his chest and he tuts at me.

"Baby, you have to eat! Now I'm gonna help sort you out and we are gonna have something to eat okay!"

Jungkook scolds me and I sigh and slowly start to nod because I know he won't take no for an answer.

"Let's run you a bath first and then get you into some comfy pyjamas, then I'm ordering us some takeaway, okay Princess"

I just mumble okay into his chest.

Jungkook places me on the sofa and goes off to run me a bath, I hear the water running and him moving about.

But being left to my own thoughts gets me crying again, by the time he comes back I'm in a state again.

"Oh my Baby! Come here!"

He says sadly pulling me into his arms picking me up, I cling to him like a koala and just sob.

I think I'm crying for many reasons, the reason I got into the relationship in the first place, the constant cheating, the outcome of said cheating, finally being done with the relationship.

How unloved, drained and damaged he has left me feeling and me feeling like I'm actually going to be free from it, it's finally over.

It's like I feel utter relief, but I'm numb because I carried on with this shit show for only one reason and now I have to live with my thoughts again, my pain.

"Come on my Princess, I'm going to help you alright. Is that okay? I won't look at you, but you need to wash and get into some clean clothes. Is that okay?"

I don't reply at first and just panic in his arms, he can't see me with no clothes on, he will be disgusted and think I look horrible.

He only saw me in underwear a few years back, once when I flashed him as a teen and once naked in the shower by mistake when I was about nineteen, I've put on weight since then.

"Princess?? Answer me! Words...Is that okay?"

Jungkook has a stern voice when he asks me and I just nod in his chest.

"Words Baby"

"Hmm okay, y-yes"

I mutter quietly.

"Okay let's go to the bathroom"

He softly replies, pecking my hair.

Jungkook puts me down and I just stare at the ground feeling flustered and embarrassed.

"Arms up Baby, good girl"

I slowly put them up and he slowly pulled my hoodie off.

Then he reaches for my t-shirt and I start to panic because I have no bra on and he is going to see my chubby belly too

Grabbing on to the bottom of my t-shirt to stop him he tuts at me.

"Princess! Are you gonna do it yourself? What's wrong?"

I shake my head and tears start to drop from my eyes.

"Y-You can't see me, I'm gross! J-Jimin said he only cheated because I've turned into a fat pig and I look disgusting! I d-don't want you to be d-disgusted by me or my fat!”

He now looks really angry with me and he cusses loudly.

"He fucking said what?! How dare he talk about my Princess like that! I'm gonna punch his lights out when I see him next!!"

Jungkook looks furious and I start worrying that he is going to get in trouble and I'm not worth getting arrested for.

"NO!! JUNGKOOK! You can't get arrested because of me! I'm not worth it!"

I panic and he just sighs at me.

"You ARE worth it! To ME you are worth it! You are my beautiful best friend and I would go to jail...for you"

He tells me with no hesitation in his voice.

"Now stop being stupid, I could NEVER be disgusted by you! Come on, I won't look! Let's get you in the tub before it gets cold"

Jungkook adds pulling my top off looking me in my eyes, my arm goes to my belly immediately but he doesn’t say anything.

He just kneels down and tugs at my leggings looking to the side, then he gingerly takes my socks off.

Only my panties are left so he quickly yanks those down and stands up only looking me in the eyes.

"Come on Baby, get in the tub"

I quickly get in and pull my knees up to my chest, he gives me a small smile and nods to himself in reassurance, picking up my dirty clothes to put them in the washing basket.

"The sponge and body wash is there. I will help you do your hair first okay. Then you can wash yourself, alright Princess"

He quietly says pulling the shower attachment to rinse my hair, I sigh as he runs his fingers through my long tresses.

Stopping he puts shampoo on and massages it in making me hum and put my head back.

"Does that feel relaxing Baby?"

He gives me a little chuckle as I nod.

After finishing my hair he tells me to wash my body and he's going to go order some food.

I nod and gingerly pick up the sponge washing myself all over, after I'm finished he knocks back on the door and asks if I'm ready to get out.

I reply that I am and he walks in holding up a towel and wrapping me up in it.

Then he picks me up and walks me into my room.

He proceeds to dry my hair first and then tells me to dry my body, he goes off when the door buzzer sounds off.

I get myself dried and look at the loungewear set he has set down on the bed for me.

I grab the top first and quickly put it on, then I quickly pull on the bottoms.

Jungkook walks in just as I finish and gives me a small smile.

"Let's put your hair in a plait or something first. The food is here Baby, so let's hurry up and go eat"

I nod and he comes over to comb through my knotty hair, then he does it in a side plait.

Afterwards we sit down to eat, well Jungkook eats and then forces me to eat by feeding me himself when he sees that I just push my food around on my plate.

When he is satisfied that I have eaten enough he cleans the dishes and we snuggle up in my room to watch one of my comfort films.

We watch spirited away, he knows it won't trigger me or remind me of Jimin because he never watched anime with me, he hated it and called it childish.

As I cuddle up to Jungkook I wonder how I can be so lucky to have such a great best friend.

He has always been there for me, he has never left me even after the arguments we have had about Jimin.

Jungkook even put up with Jimin's horrible attitude every time he came to mine, with the constant sarcastic comments and the loud scoffing every time Jungkook talked to me.

He ignored it all just to make me happy.

He came on my birthday to see me, on Christmas days too and never forgot any important events, not like Jimin did.

Jungkook has even put me above the few girlfriends he has had and finished with them when they got jealous of our relationship, one demanded for him to stop seeing me and he refused and finished with her the next day.

He refused to go to any dances with girls that asked in high school too because he would always pgo with me.

They didn't like him calling me Princess at all or hugging me goodbye or pecking my head, or when he would hold my hand.

Or when he would drop a date to run to me because of Jimin cheating again, when he would tell them he couldn't spend Sundays with them because it was our day together.

I sometimes feel really bad anxiety and guilt about what he has given up due to me, am I stopping him from being happy, from finding love?

I actually told him this once, to stop finishing with his girlfriends because of me and he said if they didn't like his Princess then they aren't the one for him, that they have to be able to deal with the fact that his best friend is a woman.

All of his relationships were short and he told me he never loved them, that it was easy to choose me over them.

But I still feel riddled with an uncomfortable guilt about ruining his relationships and interfering with his dates too.

I feel like I'm subconsciously trying to keep him to myself or that I'm messing with his relationships on purpose because of my own problems and feelings.

That I was toxic because I stayed with Jimin not only because I was trying to forget Jungkook but because he would come comfort me and spoil me for weeks after Jimin had cheated.

========================================

Jungkook has stayed with me all week, he even called the college for me and got me my notes from any classes I needed.

He has been a godsend and an Angel like he always is.

He even spoke to Seokjin and my mother when they came round and I didn't want to talk to anyone yet.

I felt embarrassed because they were all right about Jimin and I had stubbornly ignored all the talks and advice.

Jungkook knew that there was a few videos going around and told me people were actually on my side, but I didn't want to relive it.

Apparently no one at college was saying bad things about me, he told me that they are mad at Jimin for how he treated me AND Candice.

I told him that I still needed a little time and that I wasn't ready to go back and hear the gossip yet.

Jimin tried knocking on the door twice over the last week and Jungkook said I didn't want to see him anymore.

When I finally texted him to come get his things he must have thought he could get in and gaslight me again, but he was definitely not happy when Jungkook was the one that came to the door with a box of his belongings.

He just got into a fight with Jungkook at my front door now too, his attitude stinks.

It happened right after he handed Jimin's things to him in a box because I definitely didn't want to.

Jimin clearly wasn't happy that Jungkook was still with me and had just answered the door in just a pair of sweats and socks with no top on.

Jungkook punched him hard giving him a black eye after he started goading him saying that he must have finally hit it and saw how good my fat ass bounces when you hit it from the back.

That I was really good at sucking dick and that maybe he can finally feel what it's like for me to deep throat him, he was vile with his words.

After that he said that he was glad that Jungkook could finally get with me after pining after me for so long and how horrible it must have been for Jungkook having to listen to him fuck me raw all those times he slept over.

Then I gasped when he said that he made sure that I used to scream extra loud the nights Jungkook stayed over, just to give him something to wank off to, where he felt sorry for him.

That he stayed with me just to piss Jungkook off and how he always used to laugh with his friends when he used to see how sad and love sick he was over me. Jungkook totally lost it punching him again making his nose bleed.

He was absolutely fuming when he slammed the door in his face, it made a picture fall on the floor and I could see how furious he was as he paced around the room.

I just walked over and cuddled him, it stopped his pacing, luckily it calmed him down enough to not go beat Jimin's ass, because he looked ready to go back to the front door and kill him.

When I asked him if he was okay he just kissed me on the head and then nodded silently, then quietly saying he just needed a few minutes alone, then he walked off to the bathroom slamming the door hard.

I sat there feeling really uncomfortable because of what Jimin had just said to Jungkook, surely Jungkook doesn't feel that way about me, he would have told me...Wouldn't he?

He always told me everything, we never kept secrets from each other.

Why was Jimin saying those things?

I knew Jimin was jealous of Jungkook and that's all it sounded like up until the fight I last had with him and he had mentioned Jungkook in jealousy.

But what Jimin just said to him was too much, what does he know that I don't?

What did Jimin see that I didn't?

I know that I have always loved Jungkook but he never felt that way about me, did he?

When Jungkook doesn't come out of the bathroom I quietly walk over to the door on top toes, I’m about to knock but I pause when I hear him sniffling and clearly crying.

Why is he crying?

Do I still knock? What if he's crying because he can't take my shit anymore and all of this has finally gotten to him?

I pick up the courage to finally knock after agonising about whether to disturb him or not.

"Jungkook? Please let me in"

I plead with him, feeling guilty that he's crying because of Jimin and what he just did.

He goes quiet and I hear the tap turn on and water splashing, then I hear him let out a loud sigh.

When he finally opens the door I can clearly see that he has been crying, his eyes are red and puffy, his nose red.

He looks so down and sad when he looks at me though, I frown at his defeated demeanour.

I absolutely hate seeing him cry, Jungkook has never been one to shy away from his emotions but it has always made me cry whenever I saw him crying.

Cuddling him immediately because I can't bear to see him suffering or sad, I fling my arms around him.

His arms go around me squeezing me tightly and I hear him sniffle again.

"Jungkookie please don't cry! I hate seeing you cry Kookie. Please tell me what's wrong, what's upset you?"

I ask him mumbling into his muscular torso.

"I..I can't Princess...I can't tell you. I don't want to ruin our friendship, I don't want to lose you"

Jungkook sounds so broken as he replies to me, I'm worried that he has betrayed our friendship in some way and is too scared to tell me.

"Kookie, nothing would ever make me stop being your friend. You are my person, my everything and my soulmate. You have been there for me when everyone else betrayed me or hurt me. You know nearly all my secrets and I know yours! The only ones I haven't told you about were for the sake of our friendship. I know our friendship has been strained over the last three years because of Jimin, but you have always been there for me, even when you were mad at me, you still came back to comfort me"

I tell him still hugging him.

"Not ALL my secrets Princess, that's why I can't tell you and what do you mean for the sake of our friendship?"

He finally sighs, squeezing me a little tighter, but sounds puzzled when he asks me.

"Oh..Umm I'm not sure whether it's even worth me telling you now as it doesn't really matter because I can't go back in time and change anything"

I mumble into his chest feeling shy and too scared to tell him.

"Baby, just tell me. If it was so long ago then what does it matter?"

I sigh, biting my lip and wondering if I should just tell him.

"I...Please don't leave me if I tell you, I can't take you leaving me too Jungkook, promise me. And technically it started when I was a child but it's not long ago too as it has still not ended. It’s still relevant”

I inhale a big intake of air after he promises that he won't leave me, I finally tell him what I have hid from him for sixteen years.

"I had a huge crush on you all through my childhood and teenage years. But when I was sixteen I realised that I actually loved you romantically after we did that dare and kissed and got off with each other when we were drunk, but you acted like you forgot. I was going to finally tell you later on when I was seventeen after agonising about it but...but you got a girlfriend a few days before I was going to tell you. I was going to surprise you in a cute way but it was too late, so I lied when you finally asked what my surprise was and I told you I had a boyfriend, but I didn't. I...I was also a virgin and hadn't ever been with anyone else or had a boyfriend when I met Jimin when I was nineteen. You were the only person I had kissed or had ever done anything sexual with. I stayed with him because I didn't want to ruin our friendship and every time you got a new girlfriend I would just forgive Jimin because it hurt me too much to be left with my thoughts of you being with another woman. I have always felt guilty about it and felt like I was ruining your real chance at love. So I just stayed with Jimin because you kept losing your chance at love because of me being a fucking screw up and I knew you couldn't possibly love someone who looked like me. All of your girlfriends were so beautiful and looked like models, I knew I stood no chance because I'm small, not pretty and dumpy. I'm not them. I also walked in on you having sex with your girlfriend a few days later when I was seventeen and cried for a whole week. I lied and said I had the flu and didn't come to school for a whole week”

I stop and it's totally quiet, he doesn't say anything for a few minutes and neither do I.

I'm just waiting for him to walk out on me and tell me he could never love me like that.

"Oh Princess! I'm so sorry!"

He suddenly starts crying again, but he is not just crying he's sobbing.

"I..Th-That is all my fault! I..I listened to a friend who told me to get a girlfriend to try to get over liking you. I didn't like her, I just didn't want to fuck up our friendship..and.. and he said I had to get over you. Because you clearly weren't interested like that, especially after you didn't acknowledge our drunken dare I thought you didn't remember either. OR that you wanted to forget it! When you lied and said you had a boyfriend, that you had had sex. I was so hurt and in my anger I slept with...with that g-girl! It was dreadful and I felt awkward doing it with someone I didn't love. WHY? WHY DID YOU LIE? WHY TORTURE YOURSELF AND STAY WITH JIMIN BECAUSE OF ME? YOU HURT YOURSELF AND ITS ALL BECAUSE OF ME!"

He gets louder as he starts to sound almost angry with me.

"I lied because it fucking killed me Jungkook and my friend said that I should really try to get over it and realise that you only loved me as a best friend! I couldn't understand how we always ended up doing things when we were drunk or daring each other but acted normal when we weren't. I saw you two all over each other on the bed the day before I told you and lied that I had sex, I went to your house and ran out when I caught you. You must have liked her or you wouldn't have been kissing her like that Jungkook. And you never told me you liked me either and after we kissed that time when we were thirteen too, you also acted like it was a mistake! And what friend?"

I exclaim back as he is not going to just lay this at my front door!

"It was Hoseok! What does it matter now?"

He scoffs at me and I chuckle sarcastically now, he has to be kidding.

This has to be a cruel joke, Hoseok?

"You do know that Hoseok kept asking me out and I refused him loads of times! I even shouted at him one time that I was already in love with someone else. I got so exasperated with his persistence and even though I didn't admit it he guessed it was you and I just walked off without confirming it. He did that because he was mad that I refused him so many times, I hope you know that! And you had so many girlfriends over the years and kept talking about your great sex life in front of me! Even before I got with Jimin! SO WHY THE FUCK WOULD I THINK OTHERWISE JUNGKOOK?”

I yell at him, sounding exasperated, throwing my arms up.

He looks really shocked at what I just said, then his whole expression darkens and he now looks really angry.

"That piece of shit! If I ever see him again I'm gonna punch him! After you got that boyfriend I tried to act like a normal friend because I thought you didn't like me either. And I only did that the last three years because Jimin would constantly talk about doing sexual things with you every time he spoke to Taehyung in front of me. Or when I would come over even. And I literally hate fucked those women where I was so mad all the time. I never told any of them that I loved them, I always left them when they tried to tell me to stop talking to YOU! Loads of them demanded that I choose them and I NEVER DID ALICE! I CHOSE YOU! I never did because...because I.."

Jungkook is exclaiming really loudly at me before his defeated voice drops off getting quieter.

He sighs, running his hand over his face.

"And do you know I haven't slept with Jimin for about six months! I told him to prove he loved me. And every time he cheated again I barely went near him for ages. So as you could imagine it was a lot of time with no sex. Because of what Jungkook?”

I’m so exasperated with this whole thing and it shows when I talk.

But when I ask him the last question I go dead still waiting for him to answer, it feels like ages before he finally does answers.

"Because...Because I love you Alice, I have loved you since we were kids. But I was scared to lose you and I didn't think you wanted me like that. When I kissed you that day when I was thirteen I felt so happy, but I was also scared that you would think it was a mistake and stop being friends with me. I even panicked that night when you slept over, because you almost caught me having a wet dream about you and I thought you heard me! So I joked off the kiss the next day so I wouldn't get hurt or that you would think I was moaning your name because of that! Then as we got older even though our dare's were getting more sexual you always talked about crushes and wanting to get a boyfriend one day, that you would have one who would be your best friend. But I didn't think you meant me, I thought you were going to get a new best friend and forget about me. And my friendship with you was always special to me”

He pauses his actual rant running his fingers through his hair then he carries on sighing.

"When you got with Jimin and I had to see you kiss him for the first time I was so upset I ran off and I think Jimin saw me and realised that I loved you. That's why he said all those things! He would also start grabbing you and kissing you on purpose to see my reaction, he even used to look right at me or smirk at me. I thought it was because he knew I hated him for cheating on you, but it was to flaunt it in my fucking face! Do you know how that felt, to watch him treat the woman I loved for so long like that! Did you know that I almost left here for a once of a lifetime internship about two years ago, I couldn't watch you two together anymore. But he cheated with Sharmin just before I was going to leave and you were so upset that I couldn't leave you in that state! So I bailed on them and lost the internship! But he would always goad me saying things like you had just had make up sex and was a little sore and horrible things like that. That the neighbours complained last night because of you screaming. But now I know it was all fucking lies!"

His hands are moving everywhere as he speaks, he looks so frustrated and angry.

I'm about to reply and he starts ranting at me again, unloading everything.

"I feel like I have been fucking stuck in limbo since I was a teenager! Never being able to move on because I can't love anyone else! It’s like we were in an emotional relationship. There is no one else I can imagine having kids with or marrying, no one else I could ever imagine living with because in my imagination and dreams it's always you!They are just never you and they never will be you. It's why I always picked women that I wasn't really that attracted to and that looked the furthest thing from what you looked like! I didn't want to feel like I was using them as a replacement or as a substitute! Because no one could ever replace you in my mind”

He looks really hurt and is just unloading the mother of all rants on me, the pent up energy is just spilling out of him.

“One girl finished with me because I was moaning your name in my sleep and it clearly wasn't a normal dream! It's no wonder they were always jealous of you, I have pictures of us in my apartment everywhere. I have your clothes in my apartment, your toothbrush, your deodorant, pyjamas, your favourite food, your favourite films even! I never called them Baby or Princess, they got no pet names. All of my phone is filled with pictures and videos of us together, my phone screen is of one of us together too. My wallpaper on my computer is even of us together. I finished with a girl once because she threw a picture of us together as kids against a wall in a fit of jealousy and it smashed and she ruined it too! I have only had angry one night stands for eighteen months because I couldn't go through these bullshit lies about liking these women anymore. I lied about having girlfriends to you too”

He lets out a huge huff of air where he is literally panting from spilling every last piece of frustration from the last sixteen years.

Jungkook stops his angry rant and looks down at me with a horrible hurt look in his eyes, my heart clenches at his pain because it’s my pain too.

His hand tenderly reaches for my face, placing his hand on my cheek, rubbing his thumb against it.

I tenderly place my hand over his and lean into his touch, closing my eyes.

"How dare he hurt my Alice, MY ALICE! I have wanted to beat his ass so many times over the years. Please never go back to him. I couldn't bear it, not again. I would leave for good, because I just can't handle watching it anymore Alice, it’s been destroying me. Please give me a chance, I would never treat you like that or cheat on you. I meant every word I said Baby, I love you so much. No one will ever love you as much as I love you, I love you so much that it hurts to be apart from you. I love you so much that I stayed because you are my home and my heart, my everything and I would be hollow without you"

Jungkook tells me with tenderness in his voice.

I open my eyes to finally look up at him, he leans in to give me a firm kiss on my forehead, then each cheek, then finally he leaves a lingering chaste kiss on my lips.

When he pulls away his face is still right by mine, my eyes scan his face and he is so beautiful, his dark doe eyes look more hopeful because I didn't stop him from kissing me.

I place my hand in his hair pulling his head back to mine pressing his lips against mine and as soon as his lips part I kiss him with a fervent passion my tongue caressing his, because I'm so hungry for this kiss, I'm finally able to kiss them like I have imagined so many times over the years.

He picks me up so fast making me straddle him, his lips still furiously kissing mine as he groans into my mouth.

Jungkook walks over to the sofa sitting down with me pulling me against his body, his hand moves to my waist and the other winds its fingers into my hair keeping me against his enthusiastic mouth making me whimper into the kiss.

When we pull away he keeps his lips ghosting over mine as we pant from the lack of breath.

"I love you so fucking much Jungkook! I always have and I always will, forevermore. I have never loved anyone else but you, it’s always been you. It could never be anyone but you”

I pant as my hot breath falls against his lips.

"My Princess, my Baby, I love you with every single part of my soul. My Alice. My beautiful girl, my best friend, you have never been anyone else’s but mine”

He replies, squeezing me tighter.

========================================

After our big argument we decided to take it slow but we are finally together, we laugh now about how stupid we both were as teenagers.

But we have been having really long deep conversations all the time to get through the hurt we have put each other through.

We both thought it was wise to heal first and not to jump headfirst into a sexual thing yet.

I have some really happy parents right now who told us it was about time we both realised that we loved each other, that it was so obvious to everyone but us.

They are all happy that Jimin is now a thing of the past, that I finally broke it off with him.

They were terrified that I would get pregnant and have him stuck in my life for good.

It's been six weeks since I split from Jimin and he still keeps trying to call me and message me on social media.

I blocked him a few times and he keeps getting new accounts, Jungkook finally texted him and told him to back the hell off.

He wasn't happy with Jungkook and told him to mind his own business.

Every time we see him we walk off in the opposite direction before he can see us.

We have been still taking it slow and I've been back at college for two weeks now, no one has noticed that we’re a couple where we were so close before anyway.

We are liking it that way for now, so there is no pressure from anyone.

People just thought he was being extra cautious and protective with me, so they didn't say anything when he held my hand or fed me food in the cafeteria.

Well they did think that, until Jimin just tried to approach me again today in the cafeteria and Jungkook told him to get away from me.

I can see everyone already whispering and I can see his baby momma watching us with a hurt look on her face, I notice her belly looking bigger than before and her friend is definitely looking pissed.

"What damn business is it of yours Jungkook? Let me speak to Alice and stop being the pathetic unrequited love disguised as a best friend”

Jimin sneers at him loudly before looking back at me, I hear an 'oh shit!' from Taehyung who knows Jungkook is probably going to punch him.

I'm about to stand up to tell him to get lost and to not speak to my boyfriend like that but Jungkook beats me to it.

"Best friend? You are a little behind on the news Jimin. Ha ha ha!! What you say to MY GIRLFRIEND, very much affects me”

He replies loudly standing up in his seat pushing his tray away, we hear gasps from people.

"ABOUT TIME! IT WAS OBVIOUS!”

Someone yells out, I dart my face to the sound source but I don't see who it is.

Pretty sure it was Taehyung though as he knew I loved Jungkook, I realised that he may have known that Jungkook loved me too.

Not that I can hold it against him as he kept my secrets, one of my darkest secrets. So it’s only fair he kept Jungkook’s secrets too.

"YOU AND HER! Oh you finally wormed your way in there and took advantage of my little mess. I always knew you wanted to take Alice from me. Do you think I didn't see all your love sick looks and those times you would walk off when I was kissing her. She is definitely on the rebound, how does it feel to be the rebound, poor Jungkookie! How did it feel to watch the girl you loved be kissed by me and to have to listen to her getting fucked by me"

He mocks him, sounding really angry and Jungkook jerks towards him where he is about to grab him but Jungkook pauses his head darting to me when I slam my drink down making a mess.

I’m just about ready to upload all of my frustration, anger and trauma on him, I’m ready.

"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP JIMIN! YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WAS THE STAND IN, THE FUCKING REPLACEMENT. WHERE I COULDN'T HAVE WHO I REALLY LOVED. YOU COULDN'T HOLD A CANDLE TO JUNGKOOK. HE AND I HAVE BASICALLY BEEN IN AN EMOTIONAL RELATIONSHIP FOR SIXTEEN YEARS AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE! BUT WE WERE TOO STUPID TO ADMIT WE HAVE LOVED EACH OTHER SINCE WE WERE CHILDREN. HE WAS WHO I THOUGHT ABOUT WHEN I DREAMED, WHO I THOUGHT ABOUT WHENEVER I DID HAVE SEX WITH YOU, WHICH WAS RARELY DUE TO YOU CHEATING SO MUCH! WHO I DREAMED ABOUT MARRYING. DON'T YOU REALISE THAT I HAVE NEVER SAID I LOVED YOU TO YOU, NOT ONCE! DID YOU NEVER NOTICE THAT I ONLY EVER REPLIED ME TOO. NOT THAT YOU HAVE EVER LOVED ME ANYWAY! BUT I ALWAYS TOLD JUNGKOOK THAT I LOVED HIM! AND EVEN IF HE DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS IN A ROMANTIC WAY, IT WAS! HE IS A THOUSAND TIMES THE MAN YOU ARE. HOW DOES IT FEEL TO KNOW I LOVED ANOTHER MAN THE WHOLE TIME I WAS WITH YOU?”

I’m shouting so loud that I’m surprised the college security hasn’t come yet.

I hear someone suddenly yell out.

"YES SAVAGE! Tell him Alice! He damn well deserves it. He is the ultimate piece of shit!”

I look and see that it's my old friend Yoongi who grins at me, he hates Jimin and punched him really hard once.

Jungkook is smiling at me, I can tell that he is really proud of me.

"HOW MUCH OF A BASTARD ARE YOU THAT YOUR BABY MOMMA FIANCÉE IS OVER THERE, AND YOU ARE TRYING TO GET ME BACK! WHY? JUST SO YOU CAN TELL ME HOW FUCKING FAT I AM OR HOW I AM SOOOO DAMN LUCKY TO BE WITH YOU?? WHY? SO YOU CAN TREAT ME LIKE SHIT AND CHEAT! OR WAS IT JUST SO YOU COULD RUB IT IN JUNGKOOK'S FACE? YOU KNEW HE LOVED ME AND THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY TO MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE ACTUALLY LEAVING! SO HE DIDN'T HAVE TO WATCH YOU TEARING ME DOWN AND MAKING ME LOSE WHO I WAS! YOU MADE ME LOSE ALL OF MY FRIENDS BECAUSE OF YOUR CHEATING! SLEPT WITH MY FRIENDS! AND STILL TRIED TO TAKE THE ONLY ONE I HAD LEFT BY TRYING TO PUSH HIM TO LEAVE TOO!"

I shout so loud that everyone is most definitely listening.

"Tell him Baby! Unload it all!"

Jungkook mischievously grins at me.

"I WILL SAY THIS ONLY ONCE. YOUR SEX WASN'T SHIT COMPARED TO JUNGKOOK'S AND YOU DON'T EVEN COMPARE IN SIZE! HA HA!YOU COULDN'T EVEN GET ME OFF SO I HAD TO THINK ABOUT JUNGKOOK EVERY TIME! I WAS ONLY WITH YOU TO TRY TO FORGET ABOUT JUNGKOOK! SO FUCK OFF AND DON'T TALK TO ME AGAIN! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR BULLSHIT AND I FEEL SORRY FOR CANDICE HAVING TO PUT UP WITH YOUR TOXIC CRAP FOREVER! I HATE YOU WITH A PASSION AND WOULDN'T CARE IF I EVER SAW YOU AGAIN! I WASTED THREE YEARS OF MY LIFE ON YOU AND I CAN NEVER GET THEM BACK! WHY WOULD I WANT TO SPEND ANOTHER THREE SECONDS MORE LISTENING TO YOUR RIDICULOUS RUBBISH! NOW LEAVE BEFORE I LET MY BOYFRIEND BEAT YOUR ASS LIKE HE HAS BEEN DYING TO DO FOR THREE YEARS!"

I sneer at him panting from my insane rant and I move to Jungkook who looks really proud of me for standing up for myself against Jimin finally and for what I just said.

He smirks and kisses me like he misses me and I don't care, I let him.

"WOO HOO!! THAT IS THE ALICE I MISSED!"

My friend Yoongi shouts out and Namjoon hollers out too whooping, I lost both of them due to Jimin.

My old friend Denise even whistles at us because she found out exactly what Jimin was like first hand too.

Taehyung even shouts out loudly.

"ABOUT DAMN TIME JUNGKOOK! I WAS LOSING HOPE THAT ALIKOOK WAS EVER GONNA BE A REALITY"

Jimin scoffs at us and finally marches away, my whole body goes pliant in Jungkook’s arms as I relax finally.

"I'm so fucking proud of you my Princess! My sex is much better huh, how do you know Baby? Or is that the sex you had in your dreams or imagination when you needed to get off? Hmm I like thinking that you were imagining me and I might have been imagining you at the same time. Now if he ever tries to get under my skin by saying something I can say that it was me who used to make you scream”

He groans in my ear, oh he likes that I thought about him every time or had to use him to get off.

We haven't had sex yet, just a little light foreplay until we both feel ready, as we are both still healing from years of suffering and trauma we put ourselves through.

"I know. But I couldn't have him mock you Kookie. I was about to punch him and I had to give him the cold hard truth. The way he talked to you was vile, I wasn’t having it, not anymore. That was the only part I lied about though, Kookie. As your dick is almost twice the size of his. THAT I didn't lie about!"

I giggle when he pecks all over my face.

"You two! Is this what I'm going to have to put up with every time I'm at Kook's now?!"

Taehyung shouts out groaning and I look to see everyone staring at our PDA, we cough and he pulls me to his lap and we sit down chuckling as we eat our dinner in peace.

Yoongi congratulates us as he walks to class with us and Namjoon said that he's proud of whoever went for it and confessed.

He was shocked when I put my hand up saying it was me, but he says he's damn proud patting my head.

Tells me that I’m glowing and look so much happier now, that he’s so happy for us.

Yoongi tells me that he is so glad that I’m finally free from that nightmare and Candice actually did me a favour.

Denise messaged me on Instagram telling me that she was sorry about what happened between us and that she is actually glad that I'm finally away from Jimin.

That he is one manipulative, toxic man.

That she was happy that I finally got with Jungkook after all those years of pining, she of course knew because I told her in high school.

She said it was so obvious over the years that we still loved each other.

I feel so damn amazing, I have had friends talk to me again for the first time in a year and I just told Jimin where to go.

AND I finally told him the cold hard truth!

Truths I couldn't admit to even myself before and now I'm brave enough to scream them at Jimin in the cafeteria in front of everyone.

I've finally broken the chain of toxicity and distrust, I'm utterly free.

And when I look up at Jungkook I couldn't be happier, I'm finally where I was supposed to be all along, with my heart, my soulmate, my person, my Jungkook, my love, my everything.

For More In This Series And Part Two called standing next to you: here

Master List: here

=======================================

©️ Bangtans Momma.

Please do not translate, copy, steal or repost my stories as your own, or any part of my story as your own either.

Do not feed any part of my stories into any AI software either.

Sharing the link or re-blogging is perfectly fine of course.

=======================================

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namjoonswaifu · 11 months

Text

Chapter 7- The Move

Authors note- I am so sorry it has been taking me so long to write, every time I sat down to write, I just had writer's block and nothing was working. However, I am on holiday in France right now, and the sun is shining, the birds are chirping and I finally found inspiration. This isn't a long chapter but I hope you all enjoy it.

total word count: 2.4k

warnings:

warnings: mentions of weight, AFAB character, mentions of female body parts, references to the weight of M/C, loosely based on my own research of the ancient Korean royalty system, bullying, loneliness, anxiety, money problems, mentions of how other people view characters body

message me if you feel I need more warnings or if you would like to be a proofreader!

As soon as the words came out of your mother's mouth, the smile on Namjoons face changed from one of nervousness to one of genuine happiness. Taking a step back from your family, Namjoon moves to talk to the audience.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, I apologise for what just happened. Let us move on to the next event! I sincerely hope that you enjoy the music and food! Please, enjoy yourselves!” he speaks, his hands moving to clasp together as he finishes his sentence. The crowd stays where they are, still reeling from the events that have already happened this evening.

You turn your head to make brief eye contact with Namjoon, to find that he was already looking at you. He takes a step towards you and offers his arm to you. Smiling brightly at the man, you try to place your arm in his as elegantly as possible, knowing that the court is watching you. Once your arms are connected, Namjoon smiles down at you. His smile passed on words that his mouth couldn’t say at present.

You look behind you to see where your mother was, to find Yoongi offering her arm to your mother. Your siblings had been a part of the crowd and they would not be joining you for the dinner, which weirdly made you feel a little less nervous, as they wouldn’t be able to tell embarrassing stories of you growing up to the man you were about to marry.

The walk to the separate room where the dinner would be held took about a minute. The large group of you meander down halls and through some doors before arriving at the final place. Inside the room was a table in a circular shape. There was one large throne-like chair similar to the one that was in the hall at the top of the table from where you were standing. To the left of that chair was another chair that almost looked like one of the throne room chairs. And to the right of that large throne-like chair were two more slightly decorated chairs. The other six chairs were decorated with the titles of the men who would be sitting there spread evenly around the circle. Namjoon led you to the chair to the right of the large chair. He pulled the chair out, making you blush, as it was very uncommon for a king to do this for anyone. Once you were sat, he did the same for your mother and then his own before sitting down. Looking around you, you noticed that everyone was smiling. You took this moment to look at what everyone was wearing, only having the chance to see what the King, the Queen Dowager, Yoongi and your mother had been wearing. The boys were all wearing various shades of red and white. The colour complements their skin brilliantly underneath the lamplight. It made their eyes shine even brighter than they already were. Taking in a deep breath you allow yourself to feel happy and content at this moment. You felt free and able to finally breathe.

Moments, after you were all sat down, the doors opened and two lines of servants filed into the room, some holding food, some holding drinks, some had cups and some had cutlery. Before your very eyes, the things in their hands were set out in their perfect positions, cups were filled as well as plates and hearts were opened, as the conversation began.

Namjoon manages to sneakily move his chair as close to you as he can without making the other boys jealous, which he knows will lead to the young ones play fighting, and who knows how that’ll end. Catching your eyes, he leans closer to you, and you lean closer to him. He speaks in a quiet tone, the smile showing in his eyes and on his lips. “Thank you for accepting my proposal, I promise I will make you the happiest woman alive, as you have made me and my boys- I mean men, the last few weeks” he speaks.

“My king, do not fear, I know of the relationship between you and the boys- I mean men” you copy, making him laugh before you continue “I have come to love each and every one of you and I would be honoured to join your family”. The smile on Namjoon’s face when you tell him this, makes his smile larger, and a blush fall from his ears to his cheeks. Namjoon takes your hand before speaking again “Well if that’s the case then I can’t wait to marry you, and 50 days can’t come soon enough, Nae salang/Sarang”. Seconds later, he lets go of your hand before standing up to address the people in the room.

Firstly, he turns to the servants “Thank you for your work, you may go and enjoy the party, this can all be cleared up tomorrow, tonight we celebrate.” Then he turns to the people at the table, clasping his cup, he brings it to the air “And to my family, let us celebrate a union of two families, let us celebrate love in all its forms and let us celebrate our blessings. To celebrating!” he says, lifting his glass every so slightly higher at the end of his statement.

“To celebrating!” everyone yells in unison, with their classes similarly raised in the air to the kings. Once everyone has yelled out, Namjoon sits down, and the conversations re-begin. Memories are shared between people, laughter is heard and love is shared. In that room, love and happiness were evident for even a blind man to see and feel.

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

The next day you woke up to a knock at your door. It was Hwasa waking you up.

“Good morning your majesty,” she tells you “You have a busy day today, we must get you bathed and dressed”.

“Please do not call me ‘Your Majesty’” you giggle to Hwasa, “you’ll give me an ego,” you tell her with a wink. She laughs alongside you, before taking your hand and bringing you back into the bathing room. “Today's bath will be shorter as you have a very busy day, I will come back and collect you when it is time, do you need anything else ma’am?” she asks. You smile and shake your head, excited to enjoy your bath no matter how long you would be in it.

Stepping into the bath, you allow yourself to feel the warmth surrounding your body, the muscles that were tense from anxiety the past few days slowly releasing and making your body feel at ease. You dip your head into the bath, allowing your hair to enjoy the water as well. The bath is exactly what you needed this morning, and you were relieved that it was able to be added to your busy schedule.

Around 15 minutes later, Hwasa walks back into the room, holding a long cloth that would dry you and a silken red robe with dragons embroidered into it. “The king and his men had this made for you. They had them make it as soon as you agreed to be the royal bride” she tells you. This information brings a smile to your face, and once your cloth is tied around you, you reach out for the robe, wanting to feel it in your hands. You place the robe delicately around your shoulders as you follow Hwasa out of the room, and into where you dressed each day. On your way, however, you noticed that all of your stuff had been placed into boxes.

“Why is my stuff in boxes? I thought I was to stay…” your voice trembles, anxiety hitting you like a brick wall.

“Do not worry” Hwasa reassures, “you are staying, you are just being moved to a different courtyard closer to the king and his men, it is tradition. You will be transferred from the emerald apartment to the cherry blossom courtyard, which is on the other side of the cherry blossom garden. Oh, a letter has arrived for you today by the way!”

“A letter? Who from?” you ask as Hwasa hands you the letter. You pull the wax away from the envelope and open it up.

Her future royal highness, y/n,

This letter was written to you regarding the royal engagement. It is a formal proposal letter. Please enjoy you’re new homing in the Cherry Blossom Garden. If you need anything, please do not hesitate to contact any of us.

Sincerely,

King Kim Namjoon

And the boys

You giggled at the little addition at the bottom of the letter added by your boys, it made you even more sure that you were making the right decision. Folding the letter back up, you place it, along with the envelope on the dressing table near you.

“Well then, I guess we had better get ready so we can see this new venue.” you grinned at her.

Hwasa brings you over to the dressing table which still remained, sitting beautifully in front of two doors that would slide open. Realising this was your last day here, you decided to be bold and ask the woman, who had quickly become your friend, to open those doors whilst you had your hair and makeup done. She agreed but notified you that you must get dressed first, turning her hand towards the cotton figurine that stood in the doorway near your bedroom. Looking over at the hanbok you noticed the colour, it was a deep red colour, similar to the one you wore to the dinner the other day. And similar to the other, you noticed a gold band along the bottom of the skirt. Looking closer at it you noticed that it had been embroidered with both the seal of the dragon, one of royalty, and the seal of your house, tigers. Your heart lept with warmth and love at the thoughtfulness of your boys. A part of you felt weird calling them your boys when you haven’t had more than a crush before in your life. But in the same way, you have never felt more loved in your life. With a smile, you turned to Hwasa and stood to allow her to help you get ready.

Once you were dressed, minus your gomusin and beoseon, you sat down and looked at yourself in the mirror as Hwasa opened the doors allowing the light to flood into the room. Feeling the warmth on your face, you felt at peace for the first time in a very long time. Hwasa and Hyo-Seong quickly moved on to applying your makeup and hair. The makeup was applied with a sense of regality that hadn't quite been there in the past times your makeup was done. Next was your hair, pulled in different directions and braided before being placed into an updo. Two matching hair pins are slid into the final hair-do, making it perfect. It still felt unreal to look at yourself in the mirror as your hair was done by two of the king’s servants. A sudden anxiety hit you as you realised you were to become the royal bride in less than 2 months. Noticing the anxious look on your face, Hwasa places a gentle hand on your shoulder, offering you a kind but small smile.

“Your mother should be here soon, she was staying in the azurite apartment, but she will also be moving to the cherry blossom courtyard to stay with you until the wedding.”

As soon as the words fell from her lips, the anxiety that was building in your heart melted away till there was barely any left. Hwasa smiled at your now relaxed face, before picking up your makeup and opening the bits she needed.

“Now… let's do your makeup so we can go and see your new residence” Hyo-Seong smiled at the two of you.

After a few minutes, your makeup was done and you stood from your seat, you took one last look at the view from where you had been sat before turning towards the door and putting on your beoseon and gomusin. Hwasa and Hyo-Seong each took a door and opened it, allowing you to exit from the apartment you had spent the last two weeks in for the final time. To your surprise, Yoongi and Namjoon were waiting outside, surrounded by some of their guards, whose faces you had come to recognise but had yet been unable to put a name to. Noticing that the doors had opened up, Namjoon and Yoongi looked up, seeing you. The smiles on their faces brought a smile to your own.

Namjoon steps towards you, followed closely by the older but shorter man. The younger man reaches you within a few steps and greets you with a bow. The cat-like man followed his suit. Standing to full height once again, Namjoon grins at you.

“Good morning my queen, I take it you know where you are to move to today?” he asked, the grin just as wide at the end of his question as it was at the beginning. Pretending that you didn’t know, you let the grin that was on your face fall.

“Are you sending me home your Highness?” You asked with mock sadness on your face. Namjoon’s smile fell instantly, as did the man smile behind him.

“NO!” He yelled, moving towards you, before pausing. “I'm sorry, I mean… I mean no you are not being sent home” he spoke in a calmer tone. You took a step closer to the man before speaking again.

“Hmm,” you sighed, taking another step forward. “Well then…” you carried on, slipping your smaller hand into his much larger one. “I guess you’ll just have to guide me to wherever I am to be moved to today” you finished with a smile. Relief instantly flooded the men before you’s faces. Namjoons smile returned to his face, as he turned to Yoongi, “It looks like we have another prankster on our hands, don’t tell the maknaes, we need this one on our side.” Yoongi replied with a small nod of his head and a gorgeous smirk, agreeing with what the man before him had said, secretly planning pranks the two of you could do in his head. Namjoon grips your hand in his and turns towards the pathway that would take you to the cherry blossom courtyard.

“Let us go, my queen” he spoke quietly into your ear.

Series taglist:

@skyys-universe @angel-121 @queen-in-the-shadows @iwishididntexist @hair1997 @unqiuecutieprincess @agusfree @treetops68 @sbromp @explorewithd @zmbo97 @maetyun @sgnsgssy @feedthefandoms995 @hajimaoppaa @emu007 @silverrr-spooon @el-insomnio-no-es-divertido @scentisterror @hey-syia @insert-a-creative-url-right-here @uniquelyabnormallyoriginal @poesreddeath @thedarkwinterrose @yoongiigolden @zae007live @namjinieesope @iamhereforbts

permanent tag list: @ewok7attack @marc-ella

#the seal of the dragon #tsotd #bts x chubby reader #bts #jeon jeongkook #jung hoseok #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #kim taehyung #jung hoseok imagine #kim seokjin imagine #kim namjoon imagine #kim taehyung imagine #jeon jungkook imagine #park jimin #park jimin imagine #min yoogni #min yoongi imagine

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writtenbynamu · 9 months

Text

𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞

✫7:20 am, Wednesday, December 6, 2019

Your morning started the way it always did around this time of year; with you all alone in a bed big enough to fit at least three people (7 if you tried hard enough). The sheets had become a tangled mess around you, most likely from all the tossing and turning you did when the boys had left.

It was something they had come to notice over the years. No matter how deep in sleep you were, you became restless as soon as the warmth of the body(ies) that were pressed up against you had disappeared, so did your peace. It was as if your subconscious could sense that they were no longer with you, and it always ended up with you rolling around aimlessly in bed searching for wouldn't return until you finally got tired of it and woke up.

You groaned as you forced your eyes open, exhaustion hitting you as soon as you did so. It was mama day, meaning it was a performance day, meaning that Jungkook couldn’t sleep which by extension meant that you couldn’t sleep either. You had stayed up listening to him ramble on about how nervous he was and how upset he would be with himself if he made a single mistake. You lay there softly whispering reassurances to him as you run your hands through his hair.

It was long now, as per your (totally not) drunk horny monologue six months ago about how frustrated you were that he had cut his hair You went on and on about how exhilarating it had been to rake your fingers along his scalp and just pull on his hair as he kissed you on both sets of your lips. Jungkook, the masochist he is, always found his eyes rolling to the back of his head, the pain from your acrylics digging into his skin and the mere force of your grip on his roots turning him on a little too much. And yet, he still had the audacity to chop it all off. You had almost driven yourself to the brink of tears, wailing about how gutted you had been when he walked in with an undercut instead of the loose perm he had left home to get.

“He’s so mean to me minnie, he lied” you sobbed as you threw yourself dramatically against Jiminin’s chest

“He said he was g-gonna get curls and came back with 4 bone straight inches of hair,” you wailed, throwing your head to the side. Then, as if having the biggest revelation of the century, you peeled your body off Jimin’s, landing squarely on the floor in your drunken stupor.

What little logic you had left told you that trying to stand up again would be a bad idea, so you switched over to your hands and knees instead. You locked your eyes on Yoongi and began to crawl until you were nestled between his open legs on the floor. You looked up at him, eyes glistening with unshed tears and lust and a collective gasp echoed in the room.

You found your grip on his knee and hauled yourself into his lap, one leg on either side of his lean body, straddling him.

“You’re sooo pret-pretty Oppa,” you said, hands coming up to stroke his cheeks. “You have the longest hair right now,” you whined, running your hand through the silky black strands. “You’re not gonna cut it are you daddy?’ you pouted.

A sharp thrust knocked the breath out of you, the roughness of his jeans hitting your clit through your flimsy shorts and your eyes widened in shock when you took in Yoongi’s hooded eyes and clenched jaw. Your brain hadn't registered it yet, how wet you were, how wet you were making Yoongi’s lap.

You were an emotional drunk, and it just so happened that one of those emotions was horniness. You tended to get particularly touchy whenever you had liquor in your system, your entire body running wildly hot. This usually took the form of you rubbing your ass against the nearest crotch you could reach, blindly seeking to soothe the dull ache between your thighs. It was always torture for your boyfriends because they couldn’t and wouldn't touch you when you got like this, no matter how prettily you begged for it. That night was no different.

Unbeknownst to you and your alcohol-impaired brain, you had been grinding on Yoongi the entire time. The Sheer tank top you wore with your tiny pyjama bottoms did nothing to hide the outline of your hardened nipples as you practically shoved your boobs in his face.

“Oppa…”

Yoongi ran a hand down his face in frustration and groaned. “Someone please get her off me and into bed” he begged. The snickers that rang out in the room made his face run hot with embarrassment and he threw a pillow at Jin who was doing a painfully poor job at muffling his laughter in Taehyung’s arm.

It was Namjoon who had finally come over and lifted you gently out of Yoongi’s lap, however, not quickly enough to stop you from licking a wet stripe across Yoongi’s lips.

“Hm, so pretty Oppa,” you said with a lopsided grin as Yoongi sat with his jaw slack.

If you hadn't been so out of it, you would've noticed Jimin promptly taking your place on Yoongi’s lap, and seen Hoseok drag Taehyung to his room… but the last thing you remember is the gentle press of lips to your forehead as Namjoon tucked you in for the night.

They had teased both you and Yoongi for weeks after, but they all avoided their hairstylist for a few months.

A small price to pay for a service so great.

You could tell just from the feel of it that his hair was due for a trim and deep treatment, but with all the styling and heat it would have to endure over the next 12 hours, you made a mental note to do it sometime next week.

You sat up in bed, back cracking as you did so, and reached over to grab your phone from the nightstand. You had 4 reminders and 3 messages

Minnie

Hi angel, we had to leave early for the final dress rehearsal :(

But! Hyung ordered you something really nice for breakfast

It should be coming around 10, EAT IT ALL OR I’LL BE MAD

Hoseokie Hyung is getting testy so I’m gonna put the phone

Down before he kills me. Can't wait to see you tonight!

I love you!

K🍪🍪k

Hi noona, sorry for keeping you awake last night:((((

I’ll let you paint my nails to make up for it okay?

Have a good day!

I can't wait to see you tonight<3

Grumpy Cat Man

Your nail appointment is at 12. We’ll send a driver at 11:30.

The dress gets dropped off at 3.

Makeup is at 7.

Don't forget your fan.

See you.

You couldn’t help but giggle at the juxtaposition between the three messages. You don't know why, but Yoongi’s formality over text was always funny to you. He always spoke in full sentences and with proper grammar as if he was speaking to a business associate and not someone whose mouth he spits in on a regular basis. Cute.

You spent the next two minutes or so replying to them, a flurry of “oh no don’t apologise”, “thank you’s” and ``I love you's''.

You finally detangled yourself from the sheets, stood up and stretched. Your bounds cracked loudly and a shiver ran through your body from how good it felt. You pulled your bonnet further down on your forehead, feeling that it had slipped almost to the middle of your head at some point during the night. But the thought of your freshly done hair already frizzing up didn't worry you for two reasons. 1. You slept on silk sheets and 2. You were wearing a scarf underneath. Your temple had screamed in protest as you secured the cloth tightly unto your head, but your hair had taken too much money and way too much time to let it go to waste. So you tied the scarf as tightly as you could and waited the requisite 30 minutes for the nagging pull on your forehead to fade.

✫10:08 am

By the time the food Jin ordered had arrived, you had already showered, brushed your teeth and slipped into your favourite (Namjoon’s) oversized shirt and some old shorts. Jin had ordered you a huge western spread from your favourite cafe. Pancakes, hashbrowns bacon and scrambled eggs complete with nutmeg-flavoured hot chocolate. You wondered how he was able to make the order that early in the morning. Surely they hadn't been open, but it was Jin and Jin had a way of always getting what he wanted when he wanted it, so you found it pointless to question. You took a bite of the hashbrown and nearly moaned. There was nothing you loved more in this world than a good potato, better yet golden brown, fried one. The eggs were fluffy and light, the bacon the right amount of crispy. Every bite you took made your insides warmer and your heart smiled from how content you were.

Halfway through your breakfast, you resolved to take a quick selfie as you stuffed your mouth with the pancakes, eyebrows drawn in a way that made you look as if you were angry with the food. You sent it to the group chat. Solid proof you had eaten so the boys wouldn’t worry and a way to scandalise Jungkook, you loved today.

✫1:34 pm

You sat in the nail salon, the overpowering smell of acrylic and plastic being worn away infiltrating your nose even through the mask you had on. You had been in the chair for almost an hour and a half now, having got there five minutes before your appointment. As yoongi promised, your driver had rung you from the lobby at 11:30 sharp. He sat across from you in the waiting area, eyes visibly watering and rubbing at his eyes.

You were the only client in the salon, all the other stations were dark except the one you were sitting at. This was the norm whenever you had an appointment of any kind. The boys always insisted that you were given the best and most discreet service possible. The only thing that kept you from feeling bad about the revenue the other workers would have lost at your expense was the big cheque you know was handed to each person in exchange for taking the day off, and the even bigger cheque your technician got to not ask questions.

Speaking of employees,

“Minyoung,” you called, turning to him as best as you could without moving your hands ``You know you don’t have to stay inside right? You can go sit in the car or even go get something to eat until I'm done”

He cleared his throat and sat up straighter “I couldn’t Yn-ssi, someone has to stay here with you”

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes “Youngie, we’ve talked about this. I’m not a baby, I can take care of myself. I won't be done for another hour or so, do you really want to sit there for that long?”

He averted his gaze from you, because of course he didn’t and if there was one thing you learnt from being around Minyoung for the better of five years was that he couldn't lie to save his life.

“But Mr. Min-”

You raised a questioning brow at him. He sighed deeply, knowing he wouldn't win this argument with you.

“Okay, but I’ll be right in the car okay? Keep your phone-”

“Minyoung.”

“Yes Yn-ssi?”

“Out.”

✫3:30 pm

Your breath hitched as you ran your fingers across the jewelled corset of the black dress. The box had been unexpectedly heavy when you lifted it from outside your door, but you hadn’t thought much of it, thinking that it was just the weight of the fabric itself. Maybe it was just a long dress… but it wasn't that.

The bodice was covered in rhinestones, these were fucking Swarovski crystals. You knew Jimin tended to go overboard when it came to you, especially when you gave him the freedom to choose your clothes. You can't begin to fathom how expensive it must have been to make this dress happen and the mere thought of it had you c. You were going to be up on Jimin tonight that someone would have to physically drag you off him.

✫8:30 pm

The day was a blur after your dress had arrived. The makeup team, yes a team had come a little after seven. They were all either black or mixed, a great comfort for you since your first MAMA had been so disastrous.

The stylists had come well prepared, with a wide array of the best foundations, lipsticks and blushes. You name it, they had it. Just not in your shade. You should have noticed from the way their eyes had widened and their shoulders sagged when you had opened the door. They had apologised, you just hadn't been what they were expecting and you understood that, but it still hurt. They had come prepared, but not prepared for you.

You had done your makeup yourself instead, it wasn't the full glam you had wanted to give, but you still looked good.

The boys had taken it worse than you did; nothing hurt them more than you feeling othered or less than. They made sure to pick your stylists personally after that THey would compile a list and let you choose the ones with the work you liked best. It was a very thorough process that took them quite a while to do. Given how packed their schedules already were, their efforts truly meant the world to you.

Your makeup this year had come out exactly how you wanted, the black and gold smokey eye matched your dress perfectly, complimenting your coffin-shaped ombre nails of the same colours(Jimin picked that too). You looked amazing. Your butterfly locs cascaded down to the top of your ass, the dress hugged your body in all the right places. The bodice allowed for an adequate amount of cleavage and the split showed just enough leg to be tasteful. The sequins on your black pumps shone as you walked. You felt gorgeous and hoped that your boys would think so too.

Minyoung had accompanied you to the idol seating section, way at the back where you could blend in with the shadows so that you wouldn't accidentally get caught in any cameras, but close enough that you could get a good view of the stage. He left once you assured him (six times) that you were okay and nothing was amiss; but not before telling you to make sure your phone was on and to text him if you needed him.

You hadn’t heard from your boyfriends since earlier, award show days always caused the longest pauses in communication for all of you.

You had no idea what they were wearing or what they were performing and the anticipation had you vibrating in your seat.

You had been sitting quietly on your phone for about fifteen minutes before the heat began to hit you. You never quite understood how idols were always sweating at award shows until you had gone to one yourself. You supposed that after handing out cheques to the biggest name in the industry, the budget did not allow for little privileges like air conditioning. You started digging through your purse when you realised. you left your fan. shit

For a second, you contemplated bearing it. Thugging it out so you wouldn’t miss seeing when your boys came on stage for the first time. But who were you kidding? You knew they were gonna perform last anyways. So you, the ever-practical woman that you were, decided to go backstage and seek out a handheld fan. You knew there were many of them on site because they were used to cool the idols down between sets, but you just didn't know where exactly the boys’ dressing room was.

You made your way carefully down the steps, using the screen of your phone as a flashlight to draw as little attention to yourself as possible. There was hustle and bustle backstage that settled momentarily into an awkward silence when you stepped from behind the curtain. Everyone stopped what they were doing for a second just to gawk at you. You had gotten used to the staring and the questioning looks many a moon ago plus, you looked great. They could stare all they wanted. After the initial shock of your entrance had worn off, the busyness returned. Everyone was either running or speed walking toward the dressing room. Dragging clothing racks behind them or slinging garment bags over their arm.

You paused to check the time on your phone at 9:00 pm.

Someone had bumped into you, knocking you off balance for a second. Then you, in turn, bumped into someone else, an idol at that.

“Oh! I'm so sorry I-”

“Y/N-ah?”

“Jeongyeon Unnie!” You replied, eyes lighting up with recognition. You pulled her into a quick hug.

“How have you been?” you asked

“I’ve been doing good,” she gave you a once over “you however seem to be doing way better than I am, just look at you. You look amazing Y/N-ah”

If you could blush, you were pretty sure that your cheeks would have had a hint of pink on them by now. You had never been good with compliments.

“Thank you unnie, you look really nice too.” and she did. She was already dressed in her performance outfit, her hair curled and only her makeup left to be done. But she looked all the better that way.

“What are you doing backstage?”

“I came to get one of those portable fan things, it's way too hot inside and I left mine at home” you explained. Jeongyeon nodded in understanding.

“We have extra in our dressing room, let me go get you one real quick,” she said as she turned on her heels to leave. That's when you noticed it. Her hair was caught in the zipper of her top. Most likely extensions since she wasn't feeling the tug. You reached out for her hand and pulled her back to you. She looked at you in confusion.

“Just stand up for a sec,” you said, reaching your hand behind her back and pulling her zipper down.

She stood frozen on the spot, her confusion growing by the second.

“There!” you said, tossing her hair to the side and pulling her zipper back up “Your extensions were caught”

“Ohhh,” she said with a relieved chuckle. “Alrighty then, let me go get a fan for you” and she scurried away in what you assumed was the direction of Twice’s dressing room.

You heard a throat clear behind you and turned to see Jimin. A very angry-looking Jimin. You opened your mouth to greet him and ask him what was wrong before he held up a silencing finger and jerked his head towards a darker, more private area.

“Min-”

What was that just now?” he demanded, looking down at you with narrowed eyes. Harms crossed and jaw clenched.

He looked so good like this, silver hair parted to the side and slicked back, his biceps straining against the material of the black jacket he wore. In another instance, you would have probably stopped to appreciate the fact that he looked incredibly hot and felt pressure start to build between your thighs. But at that moment, all you felt was confusion.

“Jimin I don’t understand w-”

“Were you trying to start something back up with her?”

“Who- Jimin please tell me youre not talking about Jeongyeon”

“Oh wow, no honorifics? You guys are still that close huh?”

“Jimin.” you warned, trying to hold back the bite in your voice “I do not appreciate what you’re insinuating.”

He scoffed. “Yeah right, but what else should i have expected from an idol hopper.”

You both froze as soon as the words left his lips. Regret crowded his features in an instant.

“Y/N-”

“What the fuck did you just call me?”

“I didn’t mean-”

The sound of the slap rang out and echoed in the small passageway. Jimin winced but didn't move to soothe the burn on his cheek. Instead, reaching out to you. You stood with your chest heaving and tears filling up your eyes.

“Don't fucking touch me Park Jimin.” you seethed as you turned to walk away

“W-where are you going?’ he had the gall to ask.

“Away,” you said through gritted teeth, your back still turned. You looked at him over your shoulder.

Because if I stay here for one more second they will have to physically drag me off of you.”

#bts x black girl #bts chubby!reader #bts angst #park jimin #kim seokjin #taehuyng #bts namjoon #bts yoongi #bts jung hoseok #unedited #k pop group #jealousy #bts jungkook

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dearsonyeondan · 2 years

Note

No words,

Knj, long term love confession 😤🤌

not sure if i grasped this request right, so if you're not satisfied please let me know so i can do it the right way! thank you for being patient!

꒰ ꒱ pairing: quarterback namjoon x introvert!plus size reader.

꒰ ꒱ rating: 18+! please proceed responsibly.

꒰ ꒱ word count: 1.5k.

꒰ ꒱ warning(s): suggested themes, his hand is in her panties, head over heels reader, introverted reader, sexy kim namjoon, orgasm denial (for the reader i'm such a tease i know).

꒰ ꒱ note 4 reader: enjoy!

it was annoying.

the traffic that surged around campus during friday nights was in no doubt due to football season. you hadn’t been a sports lover yourself, but your friend had done her best to make the cheerleading team and you promised you’d make it to her first game.

promises were something you were regretting to keep.

it took you 25 minutes to find a park that wasn’t hogged due to the students tailgating and celebrating what would be their first win of the year and others were just because the people on campus couldn’t park. regardless, you were present right on time when the first kick off occurred and the lights shined so bright that you swore it’d give you a headache. it was important to support your best friend, one of the first plus size cheerleaders that’d been given a chance on a team that lacked diversity and color overall.

you snapped videos and pictures throughout her entire routine and her poses, giggling to yourself when she’d forget that she was being watched by hundreds. you’d gone to a popular private institution, so a lot of the crowd around you had been rather surprised at the lineup this year. her smile was the only reason you’d go for being in this insufferable weather around these insufferable people.

“how’d you enjoy it? i can still feel my heart fucking pound from the crowd!” your best friend said, causing you to laugh as you snuggled each other to the entire car. you had nothing planned for the night other than some boring movies and wine, your specialty. “so.. cheer captain invited me to this after party..”

“ugh! don’t tell me you forgot about tonight!” you scolded her, a frown on your features.

“no, no i didn’t! i just figured we would do something different. don’t you get tired of being in the house and drinking expensive wine?” she asked, shaking you by the collar.

“no?” you genuinely answered. she scoffed and continued the walk to your car.

“oh come on! that’s the issue. we’re in our 20s at college living like our moms! it’s time to get out. it’s time to get fucked!” she yelled to the top of her lungs, passerby parents gasping at her exclamation. of course, she apologized.

“no, no and NO. i’m not stopping my greys anatomy rerun to go to a party that’s gonna get shut down and smell like hot dog water. i refuse!” you said as you climbed into the driver seat. the entire duration home back to your apartment, she had convinced you to attend the party. boys weren’t your interests, so she couldn’t get you there. drinking? you could do at the house.

but kim namjoon.

he was the reason you’d dressed up in a dress that clung to your thick figure and snuggled you in the right places. he’s the reason you’d styled your hair in the cutest way you could remember. the blush, the light foundation and the contour — he was the reason for all. there wasn’t much to be said about him — except the fact that he was a walking sex God.

he’d been your crush since freshman semester of college where you went up against him in a college debate about the state of the forests around you. of course, you had minimal interest in nature but seeing him be so passionate about it was beautiful. he even surprised you when he’d be the long lasting quarter back of your college football team and had been good at it. you suffered your first one-sided heartbreak when he made the college romance magazine with the rival of your college’s dance team. he’d given you motivation to date again when she broke it off and got exposed for cheating.

everything surrounded him.

were you obsessed? absolutely not. you were hooked.

you shared a class about social justice with him and often times, your professor would throw you for a doozy when she paired you two. he stared at your breasts unapologetically when he thought you weren’t looking at he often flirted just to hear your terrible giggle. you were left confused because you had no idea if you were friends or if he wanted to fuck.

whatever it was, you’d be down.

because of him and his presence, you’d been in the kitchen watching him from afar as he tongues some girl down because of a dare given by his classmates. you didn’t want to be the center of attention and you definitely didn’t want to block your best friend that was being felt up on all her curves by the school’s sweetheart — park jimin. so you remained in the kitchen where you leaned against the counter and sipped from your drink. you’d been so deep into your phone that you hadn’t realized that namjoon was calling your name as he entered the kitchen, a blush creeping at your cheeks at his arrival.

“__, you’re out at a party?” he said as he filled his cup up, looking over your revealing outfit before smiling to you with those sinful, deep dimples.

“i was dragged out, honestly,” you said and he nodded, downing his cup before refilling it again. “so erm.. did you ever finish that research page?”

namjoon looked to you and then he laughed, throwing his head back and stumbling as well. you’d kill to know what had been so hilarious.

“no, no. we’re not about to talk about social justice 302 while there’s a party going on around us. come on,” he said as he grabbed your hand and walked you to the area where most of his frat brothers and football players had been. “guys, this is __! she’s a good friend of mine and i’m relying on y’all to help her have a good time. okay? no funny shit.”

surprisingly, everyone had been nice to you coming in on his circle. there was one girl who had given you a death stare — her name being jennie or something — but you didn’t pay it any mind. you had namjoon’s hand in yours and fuck was it so soft.

two hours into the long and drawn out game had you’d been given your first dare. “alright how about this, __?” jennie said, looking at you with a look in her eye that you ultimately despised. namjoon pushed back his long locks out of his face and raised his red cup to his lips. it was no telling how many drinks you’d had. “i dare you to put namjoon’s hand in your pants for 2 minutes. in the yellow closet.”

your breath caught in your throat and the surroundings “oohs” did not help. the yellow closet was the infamous closet of this frat house. most people who entered and exited left obsessed in a one sided love or formed a new love. you looked to namjoon who was rubbing at his neck with a flush at his cheeks. expecting rejection, you’d just agree to do the 10 shots that had stacked up from no one else taking them during their turns. however..

“come on, start the timer jen,” namjoon held out his hand in a way that felt like he was asking for consent. the way you didn’t hesitate should’ve been embarrassing, but all you could think about was the fact that you enjoyed self-care and getting waxed earlier in the week.

he led you to the closet with a slow pace, taehyung following behind so that he could knock and let you know when the time was up. the closet was a tighter fit than you’d imagine, back up against the wall with a namjoon towering over you. “we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” he said.

you shook your head, “no, i want you. i’ve uh..”

“you’ve liked me for a while huh?” he asked and you could feel the air around you get tighter. stand up, stand up! “i notice the stairs. i talk, you blush. you check me out. i check you out.”

you could feel his fingers against your inner thigh and stopped breathing. “breathe, baby.. i can’t ask you on a date properly if you die right here.” he said in your ear and you swear you could hear your heart pounding through your ears. he slipped his hands into your pants with ease and caught his own breath when he felt how wet you’d been.

“take me on a date?” you asked once his finger ceased the rubbing at your slit.

“yes. maybe to one of those drive in movies you like. you come there too often on my work shifts.” he said with a chuckle and the vibration caused stimulation at your soaked hole. “sorry, sorry. i guess this is a weird time to say i think you’re the most prettiest girl on this whole campus?” he confessed.

you looked up to where he’d been talking, a smile breaking out onto your features as you laughed. of course it was a terrible time, but it was the best time. it seemed like the yellow closet had worked in your favor.

for now.

#namjoon x reader #kim namjoon #networkbangtan #bts fic #bts smut #namjoon smut #bts x chubby reader #park jimin #bts au #bts fanfction #bts one shot #bangtan

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essentiallyleaf · 6 months

Text

day 18. feeding. with. chaehyun.

1055 words.

tags.

kinktober ‘23, idol x male reader, feeding kink, fingering, squirting, is this entire thing just extremely stupid and opposite-of-hot?, true story (well, part of this is. yeah, it’s the part where i make chaehyun squirt on her sheets).

notes.

sequel to day 06. dacryphilia. or, it’s in the same universe, the timing is kinda fucked. episodically, leaf.

“You know, this one time, I was a kid, like first, second grade? Or was it kindergarten? I was eating cherries, and I tried to swallow two at once. Don’t ask me why, maybe my dad told me not to, and at that point I had no choice. Anyway they got stuck in my throat,” you start laughing as you tell the story, the incident reminding you of two old men fighting for the same parking spot. “And they had to grab my ankles and put me upside down, and then press on my stomach to make me spit them out. It was horrible. Actually, it might have been just fine, I don’t remember much. But I remember my parents like, freaked out. What a great way to go, that would’ve been”

“Well, nice to know stupid guys were also stupid when they were children. People never change.” She teases while giggling, her eyes shine when she does. “What do you make of that story?”

“I don’t know, maybe I’m too impatient. Or maybe too greedy.” You get thoughtful for a second.

“Should have stored the others in your cheeks while one was going down, or something”

“Yeah, what do they call that? Chubby bunny?”

“You know, that’s what they used to call me, in middle school.” She mentions in a slightly somber tone.

“A chubby bunny? That’s so rude and insensitive!” You say with an appalled look.

“Right?”

“Yeah, you look nothing like a bunny!” You banter back.

“Oh, fuck off!” She laughs off as she pushes your shoulder lightly.

You both take a sip of somaek. You grab one of the strawberries from the bowl on the table and take a bite. As you raise your eyes up again, she’s staring at the fruit like it’s the most interesting thing in the world - like a fine piece of precision engineering, or a perfectly symmetric snowflake, or whatever the hell this girl is interested in, it’s the first time the two of you are exchanging more than six words at a time - or maybe she’s just lost in thought. Conversely, it’s the complete lack of thoughts in your head that makes you bring the remaining half of the strawberry to her mouth in a slow movement. She bites, her lips making slight contact with your fingers. As she chews on it, both of you keeping eye contact, some strawberry juice escapes her lips; she rubs her hands on them to clean it up. When she’s done eating, the same lack of thoughts pushes your head forward and your lips on hers. Your tongue brushes on her sweet fruity lips, and you realize some leftover strawberry juices must have still been there, then her own tongue comes out to meet yours, and they entangle for some time before the two of you need to catch your breaths.

“I think you were being greedy.” She stares into your irises like she sees your past in them.

“Hm?”

“Back then, the two cherries thing”

“What makes you think that?”

“I told you, people never change.” She takes the somaek cup back in her hand.

“You’re saying I’m a greedy person now?”

“I’m saying, me and Jimin unnie”

“She has no problems with this. We talked about it-”

“I never said that.” She asserts calmly.

“Well, do you have any-”

“I never said that, either. I’m just saying, you’re greedy.” She observes with a subtly cheeky tone.

“Hm. You know what would be greedy?” You can only give her a taste of her own medicine. “If I asked you not only go to your room, but also to take on a little challenge for me”

Chaehyun is laying on her back, her denim skirt and pink panties at the foot of her bed, and you on top, middle finger hovering over her thick, slick outer lips.

“You don’t need to say it everytime, just keep them in your cheeks, you can eat them at the end”

“What if I- Mmmmhhh, wanna eat them right away?” She can already barely keep it together.

“Hm, who’s the impatient one now?”

Grab a small strawberry with your unoccupied hand and put it on top of her lips, rub it around them for a little while, then tell her: “Open up”, and place it on her tongue. She doesn’t store it away, just starts chewing while moaning with her eyes closed. You’re not even mad, or surprised, the view is too hot for either. You simply insert your middle finger into her wet hole as a response, making her whining even louder.

“Mmmmmhh- ore, please”

Not sure if she means strawberries or fingers, so you give her both. A red pearl in her mouth, a second digit in her slit, now scissoring and stretching her walls apart. You need to kiss her to suppress her moans, or maybe you need to kiss her because you need to kiss her, and when you do she ends up slightly biting your lower lip, maybe thinking you’re hers to eat, too. Your fingers switch to pumping in and out of her now, and they do so with ease, her wetness telling you all you need to know, as if the sinful melodic sounds coming from her mouth weren’t enough already. So grab one last strawberry from the bowl and drop it into her awaiting cavern, as she immediately starts greedily chewing on it, her moans not stopping despite that. Place your thumb on her clit and flick it ferociously, trying to get her to her peak.

“Yes, yes! I’m gonna…”

Chaehyun bucks her hips up several times as powerful squirts hit your hand and forearm as well as her bed, a couple screams leaving her powerful vocal chords. You keep thrusting your fingers at gradually decreasing speed to help her ride her orgasm out, your other hand finding itself fondling her soft boobs through her top. You bend your head down to kiss her once again as you slowly retreat your digits from her still contracting walls, then your lips make way for your fingers in her mouth as Chaehyun tastes herself, sucking and licking her juices off of you.

“How’s the taste, tiger?”

“What?” “I asked-” “No, what did you call me?”

“That’s what you are. You’re not a bunny, you’re a white tiger”

footnotes.

baekho chaehyun > tokki chaehyun. sorryidontmaketherulesly, leaf.

#kinktober #kinktober 2023 #girl group smut #idol smut #female idol smut #kpop fanfic #kpop smut #idol x reader #idol x male reader #kep1er #chaehyun #kim chaehyun #kep1er chaehyun #kep1er kim chaehyun #kep1er smut #chaehyun smut #kim chaehyun smut #kep1er chaehyun smut #kep1er kim chaehyun smut

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forthechubbies · 1 year

Text

Our little Wife

Being Korea's deadliest kingpins made seven men into untouchable demons, yet their little wife is made out of sugar and spice?

Mafia! BTS! x Wife! Chubby Reader

Strong language; Jimin’s a drunk asshole, fat shaming, Intense name-calling, sexual assault, puking, violence, man-handling, and bondage. I did say spicy

Happy Halloween

Sex Sells

How else would the brothel remain untouched by the ever-growing society we live in today? Hiding in the dense shadows of Busan, The Brothel’s sign ominously blazed in a firey feisty crimson tint. Yes, for tonight, their god has returned as a return to bless their dreams once more.

Jimin.

Feeling numb through the high alcohol consumption, He smiled for the first time tonight. At what? Himself. He felt foolish for falling hard for a slut like you.

He snickered.

Jimin detests the persistent feeling of worrying about you. Unbelievable, Right? Not really, The sweetness of your warm squishy skin ghosted over his cold limbs due to the building's poor condition.

Autumn’s chill rattled the windows. You love autumn; He fell in love with you genuinely in the autumn-That day, the temperature played in his favor causing you to cuddle up to him as the orangish leaves crunch under their shoes. A plain walk through the park to the outsider but to Jimin, it was pure bliss.

Now, Look at him, Miserable, Heartbroken, ... Bitter.

May how far Jimin has fallen.

Bringing the pint glass to his puffy pink lips tilting his all the back to realize it's bonedry.

Jimin scoffed. “Tapped out.” sitting the glass bottoms up, He gently slides the glass to his collection on his table. “ Three.Four?....Eight! Come on, baby!... 13!-Damn..” His excitement died down at coming to realize a minor yet annoying error.

“That's an odd number...I wouldn't say I like odd numbers...I w-will have just one more.”

Jimin rushed to the stairs leaving in nothing short of pajama pants and its matching top open for the world to see...He forgot to button up after taking his shower.

Freezing mid-sip, Jimin focused solely on you- your shy and flushed expression made his eyebrow twitch-

“ You are by far the prettiest woman I have sight ever.” She leaned in. “You should work here. You would make a gold mine.” She laughed at your bewildered innocence. “ Yep, Korean men secretly worship chubby women like you. There's this young pervert who always comes in asking our chubby girls to sit on his face.”

Your mind is anywhere except on earth. How did your night end up like this? You should be at home in a hot bubble bath melting away the stress of today. Instead, your god knows where with women who have a one-track mind.

Fuck.

Jimin crept several steps over towards you. You looked healthy and as plump as a peach. He found it humorous how much you looked like an actual businesswoman. Slutty tight skirts and blouses ready to be ripped off, and those high heels that would look perfect in two places, and neither of them is walking, at least not straight.

Jimin clicked his tongue. Calm down. Calm down. It's probably what she fucking wants..She’s just an attention whore. Old habits die hard, they say.

The feeling of unknown eyes tracing your figure made you squirm in discomfort.

Ping

Whether it was your desperate need to excuse yourself or your phone pinging off the hook; had Jimin seeing red. Who the hell were you so eager to run off to? Sure as hell wasn't any of your husbands!?

Then who?! Who!

A face full of boiling rage fueled by a dangerously drunken state was a recipe for disaster. Jimin slammed his pint on the bar shattering the glass entirely; he followed you out front and was hot on your heels.

“Yah!” His voice boomed through the quiet red, lit streets.

Startled, You spun on your heels, and the shock of seeing Jimin made the blood in your veins run cold. “J-Jiminie?” You shuddered at his death glare.

Jimin scoffed, tucking any blonde stragglers behind his ears. “ You don't get to call me that after what you did to us!” His chest heaved with sorrow. “You threw away the only people willing to love you forever; what an ungrateful little whore you are. or Are you doing this for attention?” He truly got a kick out of that one.

You stood silent on the brink of tears; He wasn't worth your tears or your time. You turn on your heels only to take two steps before being manhandled by your arm.

“Yah! Don't walk away from me like I'm not fucking talking to you!” Jimin's anger took the physical form of tears. His throat burned so did his nose from the chilly early morning air.

Morning air? Is this correct? 5 am was rapidly approaching, and you had yet to close your eyes to start a new chapter the following day. You want to go home- Your real home; maybe you were stupid for creating this strike. Perhaps you should go back home.

“Your right, Jimin.” Your tears fall onto your ivory blouse. “I'm sorry for being selfish.”

Jimin froze. “No-No, your not getting off that easy. You don't get to get off that easy!” He yanked your skirt, bringing you closer into his arms. “ I want you to take responsibility...You hurt me bad, Chimmy.”

It wasn't until Jimin’s hands started to wander, You recognized the libidinous tone in his voice. He wouldn't dare ravish his own wife, Right?

“Now, Jimine, Let's talk this-”

Jimin shook his head. “There you go, Using that honey voice of yourself. Fuck. You know how to piss me off.” He stole your lips in an instant, biting and pulling at your swollen lips.

Your face pinged at his highly flammable breath. He's drunk. “Jimin-Wa-Wait a min.” You put up a good fight attempting to crease his assault, but even though you're around the same height, his strength trumps yours.

You hissed at the freezing brick wall; Jimin slammed you against- “Jimin! Stop it! This isn't funny!” One of your little hits landed on Jimin’s face.

He froze. You did the same, desperately catching your breath. Jimin’s sweaty blonde locks blocked his eyes; his tongue glazed his irritated lips.

“I can get rough too, Cow.” Jimin lowly chuckled, untying his pajama’s silk belt. “Be a good girl and face the fucking wall!” Jimin spat, gritting his teeth. He yanks you around to face the wall by the roots of your hair.

You gasped in pain.“Ow! Jimin! Please-”

“Please?! Did you just ‘Please’ me?! I hadn't done shit to you yet, and you're already begging.” He groans, taking big steps forward to sandwich you between him and the wall. "Since you're so eager - I guess I should at least tease you..but first- "

You squeaked in pain as his brutally bondage your hands behind your back; you could feel the silk cutting off your circulation. "You're a despicable little monster, Park Jimin!” You spat in his eye when he give you a window. " and you always have been."

Your word choice was an additional shot to his manhood and the end result was a harsh smack sending you to the ground. "Pretty bold words for tied-up cattle-” He flashed an eat shit-grin. “-In a woman's clothing.” The cheeky bondage method Jimin displayed is one of his favorites, a technique used for his clients who seek thrill and lore as much as insane pleasure.

Yn’s arms were kept tight behind your back with no wiggle room.

“You talk big but look at you...at my mercy” He looks at you in amusement as he squats beside you. “You're ours, Yn! When you met that demonic bunny, you sealed your fate. You don't even know what a real monster he can be-

Your heart stopped an ink-like figure crept out of the darkness, inching closer. “Jimin! Turn around!” Jimin failed to heed in time, costing him a stone punch to the jaw, followed by the figure’s heavy black boot to his abdomen.

You were expecting Jimin to be in somewhat pain; however, He chuckled, signaling for a timeout between the figure. Lacking, Your extra set of eyes, thanks to Jimin; you couldn't get a good look at him.

“Come on. I barely touch her yet. You can't be that mad.” Jimin swiped the blood caked up in the corners of his mouth. “ Aish, Don't you think you hit me a little too hard-”

The figure remained silent but waited no time to send Jimin to the ground again.

“Ah! Fuck!” He coughed up the dirt in his lungs before finally puking up the ungodly amount of poisonous liquid he had consumed.

Your sniffs and whimpers didn't go unnoticed. You squeeze your eyes shut as its heavy boots stop at your shuddering body. You've managed to set up and have knees to your chest.

The figure had a great view of standing above you like this. You heard his shoes glide on the gravel; Is he gone? Oh please, please, god, please, please. You swallowed your fear and opened your eyes; you quickly learned how much of a mistake you had made.

He rudely had no disregard for your personal space. The tip of his nose grazed yours, and his eyes bored into-

Those big eyes...Jungkook? But his build is different; he's larger than my Kookie...It hasn't been that long, right?

He leaned into your lips to have you reject him. “ What are you crazy?! I'm married!” You extended your leg to his chest to keep him a bay. It worked until the bastard started feeling up your leg; he kissed your ankle.

The touch-starved stranger dragged his gloved hand down your battered stockings and tarnished soft skin. He clicks his tongue, pushing your foot off his chest.

Did he just roll his eyes at me?

He stood up before snatching you up by your silky bonds. “ Eep!” You felt nausea after being treated like a ragdoll for the past hour.

The last thing you heard was Jimin’s voice before blacking out.

...

The warm sunlight overwhelmed your sleepy eyes. Once your eyes adjust to the sunlight, The horror settles in-

You were cleaned, dressed, patched up, and placed in your princess room.

#bts smut #bts x chubby reader #chubby reader #yandere jungkook x reader #jungkook x reader #jungkook x chubby reader #yandere jungkook #jungkook yandere #yandere bts #bts mafia series #bts mafia au #poly ot7 #ot7 x chubby #yandere bts x chubby reader

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hollyhomburg · 2 years

Text

Before I Leave you (Pt. 39)

(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)

Summary: Tae comes out, you confront jin about the mating marks, and jimin gets a forest sized stick shoved up his ass (not literally)

Pairings: Omega! Reader, Omega! Jungkook, Omega! Seokjin, Alpha! Namjoon, Alpha! Hoseok, Alpha! Taehyung, Alpha! Jimin, Beta! Yoongi,

Tags: Angst, hurt/comfort, Verbal arguments, Shame, Dysphoria, coming out, overly involved metaphors, talk of god/religion, Trans characters, Trauma, implied PTSD, talks of the m/c’s past suicide attempt in chapter 5, talk of sexuality, Pansexual! Jimin, implied autistic! Jimin, meltdowns,

W/c: 7.7k

A/n: Sorry in advance for being a meanie~ (author continues to be not sorry at all~) i will try my best to update next weekend as well so this cliffhanger doesn’t leave you wanting too much

Previous Chapter- Masterlist

(20 years prior, Jimin)

The sun is burning much too hot for the end of September- although the children in the schoolyard would never think to comment on it. Too busy chasing after kickballs like small brightly color planets and shouting ‘tag you’re it!” as loud as they can. Every inch of happiness accompanied by little feet pattering across the parking lot like the first fallen leaves of autumn. The cold hasn’t hit them yet.

The woods wait at the edge of the playground, an impenetrable fortress of green. Full of spiky bushes and icky things. Here, where civilization is butted right up against the edge of the wilderness, safety is carefully cultivated within chain link fences. Anything to keep the fun in and the fear out.

Two children sit on the swings apart from all the rest. The chains are rusty and squeaky but no less loved. Jimin loves to watch the forest move. He loves to watch the trees blur like faraway monsters dancing, lifting their silvery leaves to the wind and showing their undersides.

Tae knows Jimin likes it so that’s where they always sit, side by side like this at recess.

Although their relationship is not without their exchange, Jimin smiles down at his light-up shoes as he listens to Tae talk. Tae looks handsome as usual in his Pokémon tee-shirt- his chubby face already belying the beauty that he’ll have when he’s older. Jimin can see it, can feel the pitter-patter of his heart in response to it.

He might not know what love is yet, but he’s learning.

Tae sways the way that trees do at a distance, his movements all graceful. He knows Tae will be beautiful when he's older the same way he knows his parents are going to get divorced one day; his mother spends hours in the bathroom, plying and stretching and picking at the barely forming wrinkles on her face.

Aphrodite has a way of letting you know when she’s there, whether in hatred or in love.

Tae has told Jimin the Greek myths time and time again; he likes the tale of Achilles the best. But Jimin can’t read yet so Tae reads to him, Jimin always asks to hear the tale of Orpheus because that’s Tae’s favorite.

Jimin and Taehyung aren’t JiminandTaehyung yet, they won’t be for a few years more. But for now, Jimin watches Tae talk about his most recent book, cupids touch in every little blink.

“And then he just like- pulled him from the dragon’s mouth right before it could snap shut. It was kind of gross to read but I promise Minnie it was so romantic!”

Tae says it like it’s quite possibly the best thing. Like he’s just said, “I’ve won the lottery” or “I’ve saved the last fruit snack package for you” or, “my mom and your mom said we can move into the same room, we spend so much time with each other anyway, why should we dream in separate places when you are my dream?”

(Although the first is equally as unlikely as the last. Jimin and Taehyung’s parents continue to be a thorn in their sides and only let them have sleepovers twice a week during the school year.)

“You like reading a lot of books like that” Jimin comments, “books where the alpha’s a boy and the omega’s a boy.” Tae’s eyes are mini smiles when he glances up, drawing what looks to be a dragon’s tooth in the dirt with the edge of his shoe.

“Really?”

Jimin doesn’t say anything, doesn’t say what he wants struggling with his words the same way he always does (the same way that has his teachers exchanging pitying glances.)

“Do you like boys?” he blurts, and when Tae looks up, his cheeks are their normal color, not ruddy or pink like cupid might have kissed his skin. Not like Jimin who feels his cheeks flaming. “-Because I was thinking the other day when you asked me if I had a crush on any of the girls in our class, and I- I think I like boys.”

“Oh,” Tae says, “that’s okay, I think I like boys too.”

Taehyung’s mind dips, thinking thoughts of 'he doesn't like girls. But that's okay because Taehyung can be a boy if Jimin wants a boy.’ and Jimin’s mind gathers up thoughts of omega Tae and alpha Jimin and casts them in a Greek myth. Tae the omega in a pretty purple skirt- back when boy omegas didn’t dress like boys yet. And Jimin hums, satisfied by his daydream.

Later that night when his mother makes him pray (because Jimin’s mother is always making him do that) Jimin asks very very sincerely, as honestly as a 6-year-old can muster.

He perches on the edge of his lightning McQueen bedspread and whispers his small hopes to the heavens above. Starts that shine in all their coldness and give nothing easy to the boy below.

"Dear god. I’ve been thinking; I’ve got in mind some improvements you could make.

If you have a choice make me an alpha and TaeTae an omega. Whatever you do- don’t make us the same, please. I want to have Tae with me for a long long time and the world has a way of separating things that are the same. So please- if you do exist- make us different."

There wasn’t anything divine in that little bedroom, but I guess in a wicked way, god insisted.

~-~

(Now, You)

Sometime later, when the sun has dipped below the horizon and Jimin’s tireless pacing has stopped, you and Tae ready yourselves for what waits outside of the library room.

You stand in the half darkness barely a few inches apart, enswathed in the comfort you steal from each other regularly and know that it can’t last for long. Doomed and Starcrossed. The 8 by 10 walls that have been your safe place to be torn down soon, the resting place for this secret all vacant.

It’s all operating on borrowed time. After tonight everything will change (and only time will tell if it will be for the better.)

So you wait for just a few minutes more, and spend just a little longer enjoying each others company. You don’t want to let go of this just yet. You press yourself all along Tae’s side to comfort her and she shakes harder when your hands retract from her waist.

(Something about the space has you convinced that’s where your hands belong. You can’t deny that you’re drawn to the inches of honey skin above her hipbones. You have a way of knowing what parts of Tae don’t make her as dysphoric as the rest. Your touch like a breath of wind to a flame making her burn brighter.)

She pets over the back of your head as you look up at her. Cheek squished against her chest, “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

“I think I will be, just-” her hand wraps with yours, her thumb rubbing over the back of it, warm and small and so so important. “Don’t let go, okay?”

“Never,” you promise.

You give her hand a single squeeze in promise and step forward to open the door (because you know Tae’s not strong enough to open it on her own) letting the light and the noise of tense conversations slip in. Tugging her unwilling form out into the open.

The pack is stands around the kitchen island in varying positions of distress. Usually by this time of night dinner would be underway; steam would be gathering in a haze above the burners, and half of the sink would be filled with cutting boards (because Jin somehow always manages to use every one of them when cooking). But instead, the light hangs too bright after your time spent in the darkness, the fluorescences stark and the air heavy with the scent of your packmates distress.

Hobi is the only one sitting, head in his hands and his fingers threaded in his dark hair. Namjoon’s hand hovers on his shoulder and squeezes at it lightly, fingers itching towards a scruff. Jin looks like he’s been through it, his shirt unbuttoned and his hair sticking up in the back, far from his usual vision of omega grace and beauty.

Hobi smells as unhappy as he did the night you almost left; the night where broken glass glittered on the floor where Yoongi stands now. Maybe you should have regarded it as a promise of more to come, but you’ve never believed in omens.

Jimin isn’t much better, twitching with wild jerky movements, anxiety made alive, Jungkook tries to talk to him and calm him down. the omega cups his cheeks, speaking to him in that low happy way that jungkook speaks when he’s nesting, but you can tell just from watching him for a few seconds that it’s having the opposite effect on Jimin.

Jimin needs something to bite, he’s biting his lip so hard it looks like he’s going to tear through it. Your mate is the first one to notice your reappearance, his head jerking in your direction.

You and Hobi make eye contact and it darts away as quickly as it came. His cheeks look puffy- like he’s been crying, and the guilt threatens to swallow you like a tidal wave.

It’s a good thing Jimin doesn’t immediately notice the closing of the door, his back to it. His words make you feel winded, “-So they’re mated- no shit.” Jimin says, “I don’t get why it’s a big deal.”

He can be a bit brutal sometimes, words like a blunt knife with the way that his brain makes sense of things. He’s so strung out on worry that his whole body shakes, everything from his knees knocking to his blonde hair trebling, all messed up like he’s been tugging at it.

Jungkook sighs when Jimin’s hands curl around his wrists and he pulls his hands away from his face, he stands with his shoulders curled in, watching Jimin like he’s waiting for him to break. “We have bigger problems like Tae- He’s-“

You shift your weight from one foot to another and Jimin whirls, eyes settling on Tae like she's the first bit of sunlight slipping over the horizon after a long long night.

Jin sips at his water from the sink, every little movement belying his anger. But it's flagging, forced and in-genuine. Jin will have to let it go sooner rather than later but you have more important things to focus on as Jimin stumbles to Tae’s side and the rest of the pack quiets.

“Tae baby- just tell me what’s wrong so I can fix it- is it about the marks-“ his voice goes a little less frantic, a little more measured. He reaches out to touch her and lets out a heartbreaking whine when Tae flinches back from her soulmate's touch.

You never thought you'd have to step between the two of them, but you find yourself doing just that. Hiding Tae from view because she already looks like she wants to dash back inside the library room and hide some more.

Jimin’s eyes flicker down to yours just briefly but he doesn’t look angry about it- no- if you had to pick one word to describe Jimin’s look it would be impressed. But there isn’t space for much else but panic when it comes to Tae’s sadness and Jimin's tireless anxiety.

Maybe it should hurt more, the fact that Jimin doesn’t really care about you right now. (But maybe you’d be a hypocrite if you complained because Tae is also your priority).

Jungkook huffs, “Would you stop hyper-fixating on Tae for a second” and remember that you have 6 other packmates he means to say, but you send him a single withering look. You don’t think that anyone needs to cut Jimin down more, this is hard enough. Jimin barely even turns at Jungkook’s bitten words.

“No, it’s not that. I’ve known about the marks for a while.” (The night you exchanged your secrets holds a special place in Tae's heart. Tae hadn’t been prepared to give you anything- much less the love that burns through her now. But that hadn’t stopped you giving her your all.)

Tae’s confession makes more than one packmate straighten up, Jin narrows his eyes accusingly but avoids your gaze.

Tae’s glance down at you is more steadying than you’d ever admit. Makes you feel surer as you square your stance against Jimin. You reach to touch Jimin’s hand, stopping at the last second letting him decide if he wants to touch your right now, after a second he moves to take it, although his worn palms feel clammy.

“Minnie, would you just come and sit for a second? Can we just- can we talk?”

Jimin has eyes for only Tae- but it’s Jin who sighs after a breath, quieting Minnie with a touch to his shoulder. You wish people would stop touching Jimin without asking right now, everything about his body-language indicates someone who doesn’t want to be touch.

Jin looks at you from under his bangs, not saying a word. The cold hurt in his eyes startles you. It’s not quite detached, but you have never seen Jin so quiet with his sadness before nor have you ever been in a position with him where you can’t offer comfort.

Every footstep he makes towards the table has your anxiety climbing higher and higher. He pulls out two chairs, the shrill sound of the legs dragging on the wood loud in the quiet, and gestures for you and Tae to sit.

You gulp.

The silence is heavy, punctuated by listless murmurs and the quieter squeaks of the other chairs as you all sit. No one dares disobey the pack omega right now. Yoongi sits on your side at the head of the table and Tae sits on the other. Jungkook takes the other seat beside Tae between him and Namjoon at his usual spot at the other head of the table. Jimin, Hobi, and Jin file in at the opposite side, an impenetrable wall of anxious scents.

Jimin looks like he's going to jump out of his skin, too much feeling rocketing through his little body to keep still. Next to him, Hobi folds his arms. Jin starts to retort something and start on the mating marks but you interrupt him.

“What Tae and I need to tell you is more important to you than any of that- I promise. Would you mind just sitting for a second?” It takes no small amount of bravery for you to keep Jin's eye contact even as he glares.

He’s angry, but it doesn’t make him any less in love or proud of you, any other day he'd be beaming to see you stick up for yourself like this, Jin looks away to sate his mounting guilt. Minnie’s knee jumps up and down rapidly under the table, listlessly stimming. Your mate sends you a tiny look, just a furrowed brow in confusion.

Because Yoongi doesn’t know this secret either, this one will be just yours and Tae’s for only a second longer. You straighten your back- begging yourself to be strong- to do this well for her.

You sit at the table in silence for a few seconds and it’s hard not to just come out and say it, to rip off the metaphorical band-aid. The sentence ‘Tae is transgender’ hovers on the tip of your tongue.

If you ever had to wonder if your love made a difference, it’s now as Tae sits up straighter. She looks like she’s trying to be brave, a girl growing into her thorns. Your knuckles are white with how hard she’s squeezing them.

Jin isn’t looking at you. Jin isn’t looking at you at all and it makes you angry. The overhead lights buzz in the quiet, and Jin’s ire distracts you from your primary purpose in this- which is to help Tae come out.

Your voice comes quieter than you thought it would when you finally speak. “When I first came here- when I first met you all I was so terrified.”

It’s a confession, but not the one they’d been expecting. Your sudden honesty eases more than one tense packmate as you tip your face, closing your eyes to better remember the fear. You’d been so paralyzed the first few times you’d met them. For the first time since finding out about the mating mark Jin looks at you without anger clouding his eyes.

“Terrified that you’d hate me for everything I did to you- what I took from you without even knowing you- that you’d want to hurt me for it- take your pick. You couldn’t count the things I was scared of, but I wasn’t scared that you wouldn’t like me for who I was. That was easy to count on.”

The room is as quiet as a tomb when you look at them through heavy-lidded eyes. Quiet with your anguish because it has never mattered much to you. maybe its a testament to how much love has changed you because Jin’s lack of concern stings as he remains unreadable.

Your eyes lock with his and you lean over the table. “I know you love us but I don’t think you get it Jin, I think you play all high and mighty but you don’t fucking understand. Do you know that I begged Yoongi to let me die? Rather than let him mark me?”

Jin looks away, Namjoon makes a strained noise in his throat- half a growl half a noise of discomfort. Hobi stays quiet. Tae’s hand goes harder in yours. It’s one thing to know and another to hear you say it.

A cold chill settles over the room and no one feels it as strongly as you and Yoongi. “Would you rather that have happened Jin? Because I would have. I wanted to. Yoongi and the mark is the only reason why I'm still breathing."

“Pup-” He starts, but you interrupt him again, this time it doesn’t get you a glare.

“If you want to be angry that i’m alive- get in line. But I don’t want to hear it. I can’t-” Yoongi takes your other hand. Smoothing over your knuckles with both of his, Tae tugs her chair closer to yours so that your hips touch.

Hoseok sits watching you. There is a furious sort of honesty in your face, people don't lie and joke about these things, but you're so factual with it. laying it out in stark terms because to describe how it was with any emotion is to surrender yourself to the flood of it. Hobi knows better than most how unfair it can be, unable to feel what you want to feel.

The memory runs through him- you in the front seat of Jimin's car, looking breakable and worn. ‘Do I really even want this life if it's going to be this way? When it hardly feels like I’m living at all.’

You’ve never said it out loud- you’ve never told them of your weakest moment like this. Was it a moment of true weakness? Or one of pure strength? To keep going when everything told you not to.

Everything but Yoongi.

Jin can handle a lot of things but hearing you say that isn’t one of them, Jin feels like he’s going to cry for every reason and no reason at all. The feelings in him all cut up and finely minced. All the guilt and wanting and hurt a mixed bowl of ingredients with no soup to be added to. Too much love and not enough anger, not like before. Jin feels it melt away as he watches you and Yoongi.

“I’m sorry.” Jin says, inhaling unevenly like he’s trying not to cry.

He’s never seen you like this before, and the second the words slipped from your lips the same second he wish he’d never reacted. He wishes he’d never found the key to the upstairs, that he’d never thought to be angry at you for this.

It’s a reminder not to think with your instincts first if anything, Jin reacted without the proper information and although you don’t look like you’re going to hold it against him- he almost wishes you might. But pain can’t always pay for pain, now when you love someone. You hurting Jin won’t make him feel any less guilty.

Which is why you ignore his apology.

You still don't know how to think about it, what you almost did. But whatever death brings you doubt you'd have been quite so happy as you are here;

You wouldn't have had the soft kisses pressed to your forehead every morning, you wouldn't know what it felt like to wake up and be safe. You wouldn't have had felt laughter and happiness that built its way into your chest the same way love builds other works of art. You wouldn't have Tae.

Every minute spent living in this house has been a treasure.

Yoongi’s heart races and he closes his eyes rather than remember the moment. The ache of watching you almost die never stops throbbing in his chest. Yoongi's not sure if it will ever stop hurting or if he'll ever stop feeling thankful that you hadn't tried after.

That had been your one suicide attempt, Your only one. Although there had been other moments in the months that followed that had made him nervous that you might try again. When the days had stretched with you neither speaking nor eating.

Acts of desperation like that have a way of sticking to you. A separate kind of trauma comes from something that you do to yourself.

For a moment- you want to let go of Tae’s hand, the clamminess too similar to how your palms felt tacky with blood. For a moment you’re back there; the smell of gunpowder (it’s unfortunate that Jimin’s unhappy scent smells so similar) and burning blood on the air, a terrible blackness in your chest begging you to lie your head down and just go.

You lift your face, and the light cuts across it jaggedly. “When you guys moved in it didn't take long to realize I wasn’t the only one afraid, once Tae and I started to hang out in the library room-”

You’re meandering towards the point, but your pain and Tae’s are dreadfully similar. Both of you hadn’t shared this secret because you were afraid it would incur a lack of love.

“It was just before my rut,” Tae says, finally breaking her silence, encouraging you by ducking close and rubbing her cheek on the top of your head in comfort, a small scent mark, “Wait- Do you think that’s what triggered it?”

You huff a soft breath, and even though it feels out of place it is no less sweet when you bump your head into Tae’s shoulder. “Maybe,” you say, though you guess you’ll never know for sure. What if it was the catalyst? Was your love the thing that finally made her body bend to its instincts?

A truck on your street slams its door and it shocks you all making you flinch. Jimin actually growls, turning to the door like he might go start shouting at it.

Namjoon leans back in his chair, his hand going to the back of Jimin’s neck, rubbing over it mindlessly to calm the other alpha down. His legs crossed, jutting his chin out at you as if to say ‘go on pup, you’re doing fine.’

Your heart pulses frantically in your chest and you hold onto Tae’s hands tighter. “It didn’t take long for it to become a habit and we-”

“Can you just spit it out,” Jimin snaps desperately, fear rocketing through him so violently he can't stay still, rocking back and forth like a ship in a storm. “Please.”

Tae's hand a vice around yours, her breath coming all quick and tiny beside you.

“I’m trying to say that Tae’s a girl, she’s been a girl for as long as you’ve known her and she just didn’t want to say. We started, exploring her gender a few months ago with makeup and clothes and stuff. She didn’t realize that’s what she was- that’s what she could be if she wanted until- until I helped her in the library.”

(There is none of that shit about being born in the wrong body because it's not just that. To be a butterfly that only looks like a moth, or a flower and a weed. No metaphor does it justice- how it feels to compromise in such a way that betrays your nature. The near daily humiliation that a soul can feel so keenly).

You let go of Yoongi’s hands and reach across the table to try and take Jimin’s, but he snatches them back just as quickly. Tae's eyes are screwed shut, not willing to watch the pack fall apart because of her, unwilling to wait and see the precise way that her pack falls apart with this knowledge. Because of that- she misses the way the whole table freezes-

And then relaxes.

Now that it’s out you can’t stop yourself from rambling, “-And she does want to be a girl, she is a girl- we hid it from you- not because she didn’t trust you but because she just wanted to be sure- And I guess she’s sure now- She didn’t want to cut her hair but she didn’t want to come out yet- which is why it made her sad- and that why she was crying when you came home and-”

"Pup- breathe," you're nearly hyperventilating, unable to disobey Namjoon’s command as you gasp.

The knot between Jin and Namjoon's shoulders eases and the pack alpha actually cracks a relieved smile. (What- with the way that you and her were so knit together- Namjoon honestly expected levels of unintended pregnancy catastrophic. This by comparison, is much easier to mitigate.)

Yoongi’s looking at Tae with fresh eyes, not surprised or shocked at all- just soft with how you glare at all of them, how your face says ‘say anything transphobic and I’ll end you’ without you speaking a word. Even though you and Jimin are shaking like puppies confronted with a vacuum monster.

Jungkook's mouth makes a little ‘oh’ and so does Hobi’s. Jungkook gives Tae a few of his wide-eyed bunny blinks. The anxiety builds, thrumming until a small sob slips past her lips, you remedy it almost instantly winding your body around hers.

Jimin feels like there's an avalanche falling over him, his skin freezing as the cold truth washes his body clean of warmth, leaving his tongue numb. Brain fissioning, neurons tearing themselves apart as they rewire themselves to account for new information. The very axis of his world shifted a few degrees to make the summers and springs longer and the winters and falls brief.

Tae speaks, because while your words were pretty- they’re not her own. And hearing you say it makes her own mouth feel less vivid with fear. Her eyes remain fixed on your clasped hands. You haven’t let go of them once, just like you promised.

“Once I really started living with you it was like I couldn’t stop feeling it. It was so painful to see you for those first few weeks.” your cute mouth tugs into a frown, another reminder. Tae wonders if she’ll ever stop feeling jealous of you.

“You got to be pretty and soft in the way I wanted to be, you got to be loved in the way I’ve always wanted to be loved. Dysphoria is- fuck- it’s fucking terrible, and I couldn’t avoid it no matter how hard I tried.”

You’ve talked about it before; you tuck yourself more firmly around Tae like you can banish it with just your body. You’ll never stop apologizing for that- for how you’d made her feel bad just by being you.

But you have nothing to apologize for, because even with the dysphoria you make it feel so much better, so much easier to bear. Tae shivers remembering that her reflection doesn’t look the same as it did this morning, the short and blunt cut edges of her hair hitting the tops of her ears a needle-like reminder. She’ll probably avoid mirrors for a while, she wonders if Jin would let her put something over the one in the bathroom.

Yoongi stretches out his hand, tentatively taking Tae’s other one. His hands are so strong, but they're still smaller than Tae's. Tae has the largest hands out of everyone in the pack- the ones that are best for holding. But it's not like your tiny palm in his other.

Oh, what Tae wouldn't give to be tiny like you. Even now, the dysphoria rages like a pink-edged storm. The silver lining is all mauve.

Tae finds the same usual smile on Yoongi's face, gentler maybe. “What does it feel like? The dysphoria, I want to understand it.”

Tae lifts your hand, pressing your knuckles over her heart, “it feels like you’re rotting- right here. At best- that’s what it feels like. Like you're dying and there's nothing that anyone can do, nothing that anyone can fix. Or like you’re bleeding out but only you can see it.”

Hobi speaks for the first time, rubbing a finger against his lower lip, “and at worst?” Tae flinches and doesn't answer his question.

Every little pained breath that comes from Tae’s mouth feels like a dagger cutting through Jimin’s viscera, dissecting him. Here take out the ribs first- they’ve grown all strange and gnarled. Why would a thing that loves have grown claws?

The table falls silent, no one has any words for it, the realization that someone they held so dear has been hurting for so long. Jin swallows back a lump in his throat when he realizes you’re right; this is a lot more important than the mating marks.

Oh Tae.

To hide this for so long, to hurt for so long right in front of them- Jin’s rarely ever so frantic, to make things right. “Tell us Tae- tell us how to keep you from feeling that way, fuck- I feel like an asshole for not noticing- Is- do you need- What can we do? Please? I-“ he breaks off, for the first time, lost for words.

Tae bites her lower lip, the words all shaky. “I know that this is a lot to hear. I know that you might not- like it as much. I know that I’m not- that I don’t look like-"

Jungkook is ever the mood maker, perhaps sensing how everyone is about to devolve into tears, “Does that mean you’re gonna call them all Oppa now? Cuz thats so cute I might get jealous. Should we call you Taenoona instead of Taehyung or do you just wanna keep the same name-”

You've never scolded Jungkook before, “Koo-”

But Jungkook’s smile is mischievous and lovely, he leans back, crossing his arms behind his head, stretching and flexing them in his black tee-shirt. “You’re all really bad at keeping secrets you know. Every single one of you."

“What are you talking about?”

Jungkook stretches his arm around you to squeeze Tae’s cheek. It blooms pink beneath his touch. Jungkook’s grin is all bunny teeth, boyish and gorgeous. Being on the receiving end of such a grin makes the dysphoria ebb just a little.

“Tae, who does the laundry in this house?”

“You.” You’re all intimately aware of Junkgook’s near dogmatic ritual. How he dumps all your clothes together and then lifts them one by one to sort them, everything but underwear and socks gets sorted this way, because Jungkook loves the pack's scents, loves to almost nest with them in the basement. you’ve found him asleep in a pile of laundry in the basement before. It's a little gross sometimes, but Jungkook's your little laundry bunny.

Jungkook reaches again, to pinch at your scent gland, and you swat his hand away- annoyed. “And do you know who all your new dresses smell like?”

You look back at him so quick it almost gives you whiplash, “You knew?”

Jungkook leans over, nudging Namjoon’s shoulder. “Sucky secret keepers, the lot of them.”

The pack alpha turns his eyes on Tae then, smiling at her, "I'm so happy you told us Tae, seriously. Thank you for being honest,” It's Tae's turn to be surprised, blinking owlishly at the pack alpha. blushing at the attention. tae lets go of your hand for the first time when she grabs both of namjoon’s, “I know it must have taken you a lot of bravery to tell us this, but I promise we won't disappoint you."

Hobi swallows thickly, nodding in agreement with Namjoon. “So- about the Taenoona thing- is Tae fine? Or I there something else that you want to be called? A more feminine name?”

Tae’s cheeks are two round pink peaches, blushing as the pack alpha looks at her so plainly, barely able to keep herself from smiling, heart thudding with the knowledge that oh- this actually- this isn’t terrible. This is actually going kind of well.

“i’ve never thought about it really, but I think Tae’s better than taehyung, I like being called Tae.” It might have something to do with the way that your mouth moves around that syllable, all pink and rosy cute, that makes something in Tae’s tummy flutter. It’s hard to feel dysphoric about something that sounds so sweet. “It’s not like the hair thing, ‘Tae’ doesn’t give me dysphoria,”

Jin runs his hands over his face,“Fuck, your hair, I’m so sorry pup-“

“S’not your fault Jinnie. You didn’t know.” Tae bites her plush lips. “I’m sorry for startling everyone when I got home.”

“Do you want to dye it? Is there anything we can do?” Jin turns to you, because you’ve been a woman for longer, and you’ve helped Tae with this up until this point and you don’t have to do this alone again. For the first time in your relationship they're learning how to love from you. “Are wigs an option? Would they help?”

“I don’t know, maybe?”

"There's always extensions," Jungkook comments, definitely not mentioning one of his private clients got them caught in an exercise machine once and thats the only reason why he knows about them.

You turn back to Tae, “Do you want to try?”

Jimin’s brain is narrowed down to the one person that has always mattered the most. Blood and love rush through his ears that block out your banter. The wave builds until it bursts. Jimin tries, tries his hardest to speak and hold it back. but things are happening so quickly- when Jimin is still reeling from your words and Tae's too.

“Maybe just, hair dye? Pink might be nice. I think it might help, with the dysphoria.”

"You'd look so cute with pink."

Jungkook tucks his feet beneath his body, "Wait if you get pink hair I might actually want it too."

Namjoon reaches over, running his hand through Yoongi’s blonde mop “you know you could do it like really easily.”

Yoongi shrugs off Namjoon's comment, all plucky and put upon but loving it, “if it will make Tae happy then you can drag me there right now.”

"It could be like- couples colors!"

Jimin’s voice is so quiet, so aching, but no less pained, fingers digging into the table so hard that his nail-beds ache. Tae would hear Jimin’s voice even if it happening in a downpour, thunder and lightning, nothing is quite as earth shattering as ire from someone you love.

“Why?”

Tae's a little too excited, however, to properly guess at Jimin's question. She tugs at a lock of her hair, staring not at him, but down at your clasped hands with a soft smile. “I think that maybe it’s like- a color thing. I've never been allowed to like pink you know so maybe it’s-“

“No that’s not- that’s not what I’m asking,” Jimin waves his hand flippantly and your mouth hardens into a line. “I’m not asking why, what I’m asking is why the fuck you neglected to tell me this till now."

Everyone around the table stills, the fun, and joy of all of it extinguished in a moment as Jimin watches Tae, his eye swimming with tears, heartbreaking over her.

"Tae- why didn’t you say anything?”

Tae flinches, and you struggle not to jump down Jimin’s throat for his tone alone. Tae’s voice is pleading, and oh

Oh, she realizes, maybe her fear wasn’t all for nothing. Maybe the hope of the last few moments had only hurt her more. Because the rest of the pack is accepting but Minnie-

Minnie's glaring, and it’s a good thing that Tae knows what he looks like when he's about to cry. Jimin's eyebrows knit together like they're gates to hold back the flood.

Tae lets go of Namjoon's hand and reaches for Jimin’s but this time- it’s the other alpha that declines his touch. Even when Jimin's overstimulated, he can usually handle touches from Tae, but not right now. Now Jimin's skin burns.

“Minnie you- you like boys. You only liked boys until her. I didn’t tell you because I was afraid that you wouldn’t-”

Jimin holds up a hand, stopping her, “Don’t you dare say you were afraid that I wouldn't love you Tae. Don’t throw my love for you back at my feet over something as simple as fear." Jin's eyes are brown and guilty when they meet Yoongi's, and the beta holds his glance.

The first time Jimin uttered the words ‘I think I like boys’ was the first time that Tae's heart broke. But child hurts are often adult wounds and Tae and Jimin are bleeding all over the floor with this.

"Minnie-" Jin begs, Namjoon reaches over to scruff the alpha but Jimin swats his hands away, moving so quickly you would have thought Namjoon’s touch was poison.

Jimin’s crying, wet cheeks, and wet eyelashes too. “It’s always been you Tae- Do you think so lowly of me that I wouldn’t love you? Is this a joke to you? Am I a joke to you?” the feeling rockets through him so hard that he stands, chair skitters back, falling upended. Your hand goes cold as Tae leaves you.

Tae tries to hold him, to grab him, but Jimin swats her hands away. Crying too hard to see. “Minnie no- I was just- I just didn’t want to tell you yet. I was just worried-”

“Don’t you dare lie to me Kim Tae-” the second syllable of that dies in Jimin’s throat. “How could you think that I wouldn’t love you? No matter who you wanted to be or what color you wanted to dye your fucking hair!" Jimin can't get his words out around his sobs, near incoherent. "You’ve been hurting for years and you just- you let me hurt you. When that was the one thing you where never supposed to let me do. Love isn't supposed to hurt!”

(That is perhaps the most bitter lie isn't it? That it is the people who love you who often hurt you the worst.)

“Do you remember what you told me when we were kids Minnie?” Tae's voice shakes. “You were always gay Jimin- You always liked boys, so don’t you dare blame me for choosing you over me! Not when you would have done the same!”

Jimin is crying, hands closing and opening rhythmically by his sides. Jin makes to stand and get between them but you shoot him a look. This isn’t a fight that any of you can have for Jimin and Tae. No matter how bad you want to get in-between them.

“Would you have ever told me? Would you have ever told us? If it wasn’t for her?” Jimin’s finger jabbing in your direction makes you flinch and Yoongi's jaw ticks.

Tae is lost for words. Silent and standing there, unwilling to answer.

“I see, once you saw me love her you- you-“ Jimin sounds almost sick at the words. That someone he loves has been hurting because of him. All this time, Years and years of pain that are all his fault.

“If you think I wouldn’t love you th-then-“ Jimin’s hands are shaking so violently, and you know a breakdown when you see one. he runs his hands through his hair and yanks. "I love you- you know I love you!” he cries “none of this would change that- no matter what! That's what we agreed on! That we’d love each other Tae- fuck- Tae."

Tae and Jimin have always been cradle to grave. They have always been soulmates. Jimin thought that counted for something. But this isn’t just anything. Tae let herself hurt for the sake of Jimin’s worldview and that is something that Jimin cannot forgive- or at least can’t forgive easily. Tae was always supposed to be both of their priorities. That was their agreement.

Tae’s voice breaks, “You love me yeah? Well you haven’t said it in weeks Minnie.” It’s the wrong thing to say. No allegation would make Jimin angrier than the idea that he doesn’t love Tae to the fullest extent that he’s capable of.

He's lost for words mouth opening and closing like a beached fish. When they were younger the words used to fall from Jimin's lips as often as rain, but now that they've been together for so long they say them less frequently. The same is true with Jin and Namjoon. Years in love can make you sloppy but Jimin can’t find the words anything other than wounding.

Jimin’s teeth grind against each other, "People don't just say I love you.”

"They say 'bring your jacket it's cold out’ and 'I made you lunch' before you even say you're hungry, or they know your favorite coffee cup without asking and never take it even though they made the coffee first.” Tae does that for you- you realize. You didn’t think that Jimin had been keeping track.

“People don't just say I love you or just love you as a singular act, they don't skip your favorite song even if they hate it, and they act crazy when you get sick” Jungkook and Hoseok flush. “Or they pretend not to notice when you've got a bit of broccoli stuck in your teeth.” Namjoon huffs. Jimin might not understand this yet, but he does understand love.

“They learn what kind of jokes are your favorite and get better at telling them on purpose- people love you on purpose.” The upstairs room aches with Yoongi's many hours, how many moments of his life has he spent on it? He couldn't say those moments were poorly spent, any moment spent in love is worth it.

“They learn to make a big deal out of the things that are big for you and not to bother when the annoyance is slight because every annoyance should be slight when it comes to someone you love." Jin's arms wrap around his waist tighter.

(People don't just say I love you- they promise things like I will give you smile lines and laugh lines if it kills me, I will carve wrinkles into your face with the force of my love, and hand you a pen when you want to write you name on my heart.)

"They don't just say I love you, they show it. And I’ve shown you it with everything I’ve ever done, every breath I’ve ever taken- so please- please don’t say I didn’t love you enough for you to come to me with this, be honest with me. Because I did. You know I did."

You and Jin share a long angsty look across the table. Your and Yoongi’s hands remain clasped and the omega crosses his arms. Defiant with it- although you never expected him to love you without it.

There is more to be settled here.

“I love you so much I can't stand it. Maybe if I loved you less I’d be able to think more rationally about this, but Tae- I can't- I can't breathe around how much love I have for you. And maybe that’s why this hurts so fucking much, that I’m so in pain by loving you and yet, you don't believe me. You never did otherwise you would have just said something-"

But instead of agreeing Tae shakes her head, lips screwing into something like a snarl. Alpha aggression is a volatile thing and Namjoon almost gets up to scruff them even though it would be inappropriate. He can’t bear to see them hurt each other like this.

Her short bangs barely budge “knowing someone loves you isn't just trusting them not to hurt you Minnie. I respect what we had, and whatever you want from me now I'll accept- even if it's nothing. I’ve been hurting over this for years That’s why I didn't tell you- I didn't tell you because I know you love me. Not despite it. I’m sorry but I couldn't risk losing you."

“Bullshit-“ Jimin sobs, a wild and broken thing that just about wrenches his heart clean out of his chest. Tae’s love has always made Jimin human and now he’s nothing but something wriggling and miserable. Slimy in his sadness, unwanted at its core.

“Bullshit- Tae- I’ve never- I couldn’t-”

One second the emotion is rocketing through him bright as a comet and the next, Jimin goes so still it's frightening. Like a supernova, one moment all the mass in the universe spread out and the next it has narrowed down to a single point of anger and pain.

If Jimin had a heart, he’d remove it and leave it at Tae’s feet. There is no use for Jimin’s love if Tae doesn’t want it and is committed to miss-understanding it. there is no Jimin without tae.

Tae pretends it doesn’t hurt when Jimin walks away.

He passes by her without even a brush of her hand or a goodbye kiss. Tae pretends her heart doesn’t break as she watches him grab his coat and walk out the front door, grabbing his keys too. She pretends it doesn’t hurt that he doesn’t look back, that she’s left in the kitchen with the warm yellow lights cutting wounds across her face.

6 other people in the room, and the only one that she wants to comfort her right now- gone.

He leaves her standing there by the center island, alone like a ship in a dark sea, the last light winking out. It's not worth it, It's not worth being a woman if it means I don't get to love you, I'll take it back, I'll take it back if it means you'll still love me.

The front door slams shut.

~-~

(Next chapter Coming Next Saturday September 24th at 5pm EST)

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