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inkskinned · 10 months

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you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

#writeblr #warm up #my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky #i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles #yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help #for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT #and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen #than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say #''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help #i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.''#bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't #actually offer fair support to everyone #we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less.#and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help #bc i DID have it better than other people #and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help.#we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn #instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself

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starry-bi-sky · 4 months

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clone danny's accident in the clone^2 au

Im thinking about clone^2 danny's accident in this au. he doesn't have his halfa powers in this au. He has his scary eyes and the ghost sense and the ability to see ghosts - kinda takes up a psychopomp role with his ghost cases - and enough ectoplasm to trigger the ghost defenses in his parents' house. But he doesn't have his ghost powers or his ghost half. He's just very strongly liminal.

And im just mmmmm thinking about how that came to be. When I originally made the clone danny au back in the summer i couldn't think of how he had his accident without putting him inside the portal, and I couldn't put him inside the portal and have it turn on and then just say "oh! he doesn't have any powers. he got hit with the full concentrated power of the sun a dimension with just a scratch"

like - like i can't do it. i just can't. i need some plausibility in my aus or i hit road blocks and can't continue (see: my jason variant au and why that took so long to post). but i was at work today thinking about clone^2 au and it hit me like a lightning shot. I think said in the original clone danny post that maybe he got electrocuted by the on button on the outside of the portal. But i was never really satisfied with that answer - it felt too placeholder-y to me. too simple. Less plausible to me than I liked.

so, solution: he still gets shocked by the portal outside, but its from a wiring issue that he spots outside of the portal. My first thought is; the portal had a wire that was unplugged. His parents, essentially, forgot to plug it in. Or maybe in all of their excitement they accidentally unplugged it and didn't notice. It just sounds like the right amount of cartoonishly silly that the Fentons are known for. "We put a second "on" button in the inside portal" -> "we forgot to plug it in"

Danny notices it while he's showing Sam and Tucker around the lab and the two of them are checking out the portal. Something caught his eye from the corner and while Sam and Tucker were talking, he went over to investigate. If this were canon, this would be just before Sam tells him to put on the hazmat suit and go into the portal so she can get a photo (iirc). (So he's currently in reg clothes)

And im imagining it as slightly off to the side. Its two black cords - an extension cord to the outlet and then the cord to the portal. and danny crouches down over it, frowning. his eyes follow the cord to the outlet, and then the cord to the portal, and he picks both up.

'did they forget to plug it in?' he thinks, turning his head to look at the portal's entrance. and logically he knows he should probably put the cords down and tell his parents, let them handle it since they have the expertise for this stuff. But...

his eyes draw back to the plug. it's just a plug. it'd be fine if he plugged it in, wouldn't it? surely, it'd be fine. he thinks about it for a moment.

he plugs it in.

immediately, the energy that had been building up slowly through the wires of the portal - the latent ectoplasm in the room being funneled through whatever tech his parents used to make it - goes through the cord. Like a dam bursting. In a flash, the portal turns on with a worrying bang.

At the same time, Danny is hit with a near-lethal amount of electricity. While not as agonizing as being inside the portal, danny still mentally checks out with pain. and he blacks out. when he comes to, he's laying on his back, still in the lab, with sam and tucker kneeling over him. they're talking - probably yelling, with panicked looks on their faces.

He can't hear a thing they're saying, his ears are full of the overly rapid, irregular beating of his heart and the pounding of his blood. His chest hurts like he's having a heart attack, and he grasps at his shirt as his breathing comes in short, labored.

"Hospital" he wheezes out, and sam gets up and sprints out of the lab upstairs. everything else feels like a blur - his parents and jazz are by him - his parents completely ignoring their swirling, working portal, someone's calling 911, danny's being loaded onto a stretcher with an oxygen mask over his face.

danny gets discharged from the hospital a week later, and sick leave from school for another two. his parents refuse to allow him back into the lab, stating it was too dangerous, and their work comes to near grinding stop to watch over him. It's honestly kinda sweet, but the hovering is annoying him - stubborn, independent teenager that he is. When he gets back to school he's still relatively sat out for phy.ed - he's been getting random heart palpitations (which had been at its worst when he was still on sick leave) and what the doctors think is a strange case of arrhythmia. Although Danny insists that he's fine - he's breathing, alive. Nothing feels wrong with him.

Then one day in class, Tucker turns to him to say something - a joke -and yelps - "your eyes!"

Danny on instinct turns his head to the window, frowning. And in the faded reflection, his eyes are burning shade of green like that of the portal. He blinks, breathing in sharply, and they're back to the his old bright blue.

Unfortunately, they're in english class, and the entire room was staring at them. "Is there something wrong, Mr. Foley?" Mr. Lancer asks from the front. Tucker is still wide-eyed and in shock, and he looks quickly between Danny and Lancer.

"I- no, um- Danny's eyes- they- were, um..." He looks panicked, confused.

Danny steps in, and leans over to Tucker. "I think he just spooked himself, Mr. Lancer." He says, looking frontward with his brows furrowed. "Sorry, it won't happen again."

Mr. Lancer looks unconvinced, and suspicious, but he lets it lie. "Are you feeling alright then, Mr. Fenton? Do you need to see the nurse?" It wasn't a secret to the school or student body that he'd been to the hospital from a lab accident - and that it'd resulted in heart problems that he was recovering from.

Danny grins at him, and pounds his chest lightly, "I'm fit as a fiddle, Mr. Lancer. No heart attacks here." He jokes, and leans back into his seat. Mr. Lancer stares, eyes squinty, and then returns to the lesson.

It keeps happening. Danny's eyes turn green at the most random of times, and the three of them begin wittling down what was causing it. In general, Danny's eyes were turning green whenever he was engrossed with something, or when he got emotional - when he was laughing, angry, upset, anything. Sometimes it resulted in heart palpitations, sometimes it didn't.

his ears were hurting too, aching, like when they were cold. Danny wakes up one morning and spends twenty minutes in the bathroom turning his head left and right - his ears were beginning to point. Sam thought it was cool - Danny just thought it was concerning.

He was seeing things too - apparently. He struck up a conversation with someone on the street once - a strange looking man who looked terribly pale and wore old clothes. He looked delighted to be talking to Danny - and then Sam and Tucker walked up to him and asked who he was talking to.

("What do you mean? I'm talking to him.") ("Danny, there's no one there.") ("What?")

After multiple instances of this, they configure that the accident had given Danny some sort of ability to see ghosts.

("So you're meta now?") ("Mm... I don't know. That doesn't feel right.") ("Oh come on, that basically fits the name to a tee!") ("I know, but I just- it doesn't feel right to call myself meta.") ("If you don't like meta, why not just call yourself liminal? Since the portal is supposed to access the afterlife and it gave you powers to see ghosts.") ("Huh, good idea, Sam. Liminal it is, then.")

And as time goes on - and his parents begin to catch and experiment on ghosts - danny adjusts to these weird new abilities. It's not so bad, he supposes, its just some creepy eye magic and a ghost sense. He can live with that, and no one needed to know. He could go back to being normal - right. ...Wrong.

Do his parents really have to catch ghosts?

plus additional sketch that i made at like 3am last night because i needed to draw it down -- aha ignore the inconsistent drawing ability that i have. i'm more of a writer than i am an artist.

#dp x dc #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #dpdc #clone^2 #dpxdc crossover #danny fenton is not the ghost king #dp dc #dp x dc au #dc x dp crossover #danny fenton is a clone #danny's accident in the clone^2 au #clone^2 danny before damian's arrival #danny having arrhythmia from the ghost portal - or what the doctors think is arrhythmia. him having health issues from the accident is #interesting to me but not something i think i'll get into too much other than the aforementioned heart problems. mostly bc i dont think #i'd be able to properly showcase it #also im a little embarrassed by my art skills but i just dont draw often so its about as good as im gonna get with a sheet of paper #i can do like. front poses really well but i struggle so much with drawing a head that i like that doesn't fel juvenile or amateurish #so i just gotta keep practicing lol. and find a tutorial that works suppose.#14yo danny's hair being shorter prior to when damian meets him >> its still longer than it is in canon but shorter than it will be.#i think i accidentally gave him a tim haircut. oh well. hair is hard and practice makes improvement #depending on where my motivation is at i may or may not make another post about danny finally becoming phantom in clone^2 #half tempted to add a prompt tag to this because mAN do i wanna talk to people about this au and other potential stuff that could happen #like how people will take a prompt and interpret it differently than the person next to them. i love talking about different ideas of #the same thing.#does the comic imply there was something compelling danny to check it out and plug the portal in?.... maybe.

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wowa-bublord · 1 month

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Do either Zack or Cloud have their traumas manifest in a fear of physical touch? Or a fear of anything that the other may trigger by accident? Sorry My Whump Is Kicking In Today

NO NEED 2 APOLOGIZE FOR ANY ASKS i am eating them all the time

Zack and cloud I think are both very touchy and clingy, it's definitely one of Zacks main love languages. He bites he wrestles he messes up everyones hair. if you have talked 2 him for 4 seconds he will give you a hug and explode all of your bones

But their fears definitely do pop up from time to time. Cloud has days where he doesn't want contact from anyone, I imagine him as already pretty touch averse (he has autism 2 me) so when things get tough and he can't deal with it that day, I imagine him as pretty good at shutting it down. Cloud in general I imagine as really good at setting boundaries, and doesn't usually think about how the way he expresses his dislike for things might bother the other person. It doesn't even cross his mind. Like in this comic!!

zack is. not as good on that front.

the strugglers

#adhd people pleaser + rsd vs autism tone issues and inability 2 understand social cues. what crimes will they commit #(A fundamental struggle in understanding each other)#zack fair #cloud strife #zack fair ff7 #cloud ffvii #zakkura #HOPEFUL THE LAST DRAWING DOESN'T LOOK TOO LIKE. EDGY. i tried to convey what it feels like to be scared of touch when some1s comforting you #DHFGHDJ #zack ffvii #cloud ff7 #my art #zack lives au

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batfamdcposts · 1 year

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I want a comic that shows how the batfam’s disabilities and/or health issues limit their efficacy and the frustration that brings. Give me all of Bab’s monitors going out, her sitting in the dark as her family fights against an unexpected or unknown weapon, and let me see the barely restrained panic. Let her stew in her helplessness, and let her rage at the inconvenience and unfairness of it all. Let her healing be nonlinear, because her incredible feats as Oracle don’t change the fact that she could rush to them right now as Batgirl.

Let Tim feel the proverbial leash of only being able to go so far for so long, because there’s a limit to how many doses of antibiotics he can carry with him. He’s blatantly defied almost every single authority figure he’s ever had, and this is what he has to obey? Let it interrupt his work, and let him obsessively wonder how much more productive he’d be if he didn’t have to spend the time counting and refilling his medications. Let Bruce coming back from a deep space mission be a reminder that there’s an extra step for him to be able to do the same. Let Tim feel the horrible, complicated, conflicting cocktail of gratitude and fury and appreciation and love and guilt when he finds out that each family member carries extra doses on them just in case they get sucked into a portal of some kind on Gotham’s whacked streets.

Let Cass feel the mosquito-bite hurt of not being able to read mission reports as quickly as her family of detectives and geniuses. Let the suggestion of a word-to-text program be offensive before it’s appreciated, because knowing something will be helpful doesn’t always mean she’s ready to accept it. Let her feel trapped by an inability to fully vent what she’s feeling because she doesn’t know the right words. Let her feel the hurt of some people not caring about what she’s trying to say because she can’t always communicate her ideas quickly or concisely enough. Let her hurt turn to rage, because if those people don’t matter then why is she so upset at their decision to disregard her? Why is there a niggling need to prove her worth and intelligence?

I’d just really love to see more of this in fics, comics, etc, because sometimes it’s hurtful even when it shouldn’t be, and sometimes it sucks in ways you never thought it would. Sometimes a disability or health issue actively impedes progress and makes you an inconvenience, and seeing these heroes deal with that would be so helpful in dealing with it.

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lollytea · 7 months

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Tbh I think the Barbie movie handled its theme of existentialism better than the feminism.

#the feminism of the barbie movie is nothing new #its nothing you wouldnt have seen in a 2016 tumblr post #and in its efforts to platform the struggle of misogyny it unintentionally shrinks the issue of other forms of bigotry #like it IS about a cis conventionally attractive white woman and the prejudice that she applies to her #because shes a woman. so is not on the TOP of the privilege scale and is going to face bigotry as a result #like Greta Gerwig clearly wrote what she knew #and she didnt feel she was educated enough to touch any other topics #the mistreatment of women is a layered topic and it is a complex matter depending on the varied range of women in this world #queer women trans women women of colour #they dont all experience misogyny in the same way that Barbie does #so its definitely not a very rounded discussion #like even Gloria focuses entirely on the pressure of just women in general #like you can claim that shes speaking from her own experience but. its very mouthpiece-ish #her speech is for the purpose of whacking you over the head with the film's message #yknow i think the focus leans too heavily as ''look what we as girls have in common''#but doesnt touch enough on ''but look how we differ too.'' a balance between those two concepts would have been nice #i feel like Sasha being like ''hell yeah white saviour barbie!'' was like a lazy acknowledgement that theyre AWARE of this issue #but like. theyre too deep into the script now #anyway yeah i was just thinking about this cuz of that gifset #Barbie feeling unsafe and being objectified in a public space #while Ken faces no issues whatsoever. even tho he is a loudly colourful flamboyantly dressed man on rollerskates #because we are going for a misogyny message here. so we need to poof homophobia out of existence for a bit okay??#like this is basically what i mean. putting misogyny under the spotlight #and as a result quietly pretending other social disadvantages dont apply right now. bending reality to reinforce the message that we want #this isnt like. a scathing criticism on barbie btw. i dont have a film critic brain #im dumb and i love everything #also im really not the person whos qualified to talk about this #this is just some word vomit because i cant stop thinking about it #anyway i think the themes of what it means to be human and live and breathe fucked royally #i loved that stuff

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futuristichedge · 28 days

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Thinking about which Sonic characters struggle in social situations and coming to the realization that it's the majority (if not all) of the cast.

#id make a list but its just like. all the characters I can think of with some asterisks for 'they have enough charisma/charm to get thru it'#like. Knuckles and Shadow 100%#Tails too #Amy. Blaze. Silver. Espio.#like just look at TMOSTH #it might just be easier to make a list of characters who DONT struggle in social situations #text #rambles #i know that a lot of it is: a) miscommunication is an issue that is universal and b) used a LOT in sonic stories for moving plot #e.g. any knuckles vs sonic fight #i guess its the particular way a lot of characters in sonic struggle with communicating due to not fitting in with societal norms #or not being raised with the tools to do so #actually wait no a lot of it is due to isolation. ex: knuckles. tails. blaze. shadow. silver. surge & kit. whisper.#this all ties into sth's themes of needing community and support and reliance on others (your friends are here to help etc. etc.)#but its interesting to think about!#saying a lot of something in these tags. dont have the brainspace to make it into a fully sourced coherent discussion (yet)

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cruelsister-moved2 · 11 months

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like we are on our nine billionth positivity post for cis men with beards and masculine trans men and feminine lesbians and bi people in m/f relationships and nb people who are comfortable passing as their agab etc.... do we need more? is straight people not being able to tell you're gay/trans really the biggest issue facing lgbt people right now?

there seems to be this undiminishable reservoir of care and sympathy for the very idea of having ur queerness slighted in any context. meanwhile people who never get the choice whether or not to hide it are routinely dehumanised, othered, and ignored. if the issues facing these groups do get discussed it's almost never with much concern for their feelings. invalidation and erasure may be one of the issues facing lgbt people and it deserves attention too but I really don't think you can claim at this point that it isn't getting its fair share already.

for what it's worth, even your hypothetical most flaming butch lesbian/fem gay man/androgynous nb person etc still meets people who assume they're cishet, who even actively refuse to acknowledge that they're not. the false equivalence between erasure and overt prejudice alleged exclusively by those who largely experience only the former is in fact erasing the reality of people who experience both

#I'm always thinking abt that one buzfeed article called like queer women share their struggles or smth #one was a butch lesbian talking abt how carefully she has to plan journeys #bc late night toilet stops or seedy motels are life and death for her #then there was a bi woman w a husband n kids #talking abt how one time she had to take her pride flag off her lawn (picket fence implied lol)#like... ofc that's sad I feel sad for her #but the lack of proportion is kind of on the nose lol #I don't have the right words but like something very fetishistic abt the gaze of other lgbt ppl towards 'visibly' lgbt people #and I use those terms loosely bc ppl r visible and invisible in different contexts #but if you've reached the stage of fantasising abt hypothetical microaggressions or straight up hate crimes that could happen to u #then u have gone too far #I just think a lot of the time it's more abt the fact that YOU don't feel 'valid' enough in yourself #ao you convince yourself other lgbt people existing or talking abt our issues is the problem #like if ur a bi girl n having a cishet bf makes u feel so lonely and insecure and 'not gay enough' at what point is that ur responsibility #to either accept urself or to be in relationships that make u feel better about urself #and not my responsibility to say ur having gay sex with jakey or wjayever

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deoidesign · 6 months

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Are you slowly going insane over your OWN ocs?

No, I've been infected by brainworms the entire time. Nothing slow about it.

But honestly, no... It's not really about my characters to me. I love my characters, of course, and I love telling stories, and I hope to keep making art of my characters every day until I die.

But it's not about them! They're not REALLY what I love, what I love is people! And I hope I can leave the world with a hundred different love letters so my readers can feel how much I love them for even one day longer than I am here.

My characters are a conduit through which I can give that to people. I want nothing more than to make someone feel a little more loved, a little more seen, and a little less alone. And my characters are the best way I know how to do that.

So for that, they're incredibly important to me... But they're not for me. They're for you!

So I hope you enjoy them

and I hope you can feel that I love you through them.

#personally I dont like to use the word insane to describe myself or others #I struggle with many things but when it comes to my characters #I am nothing but concrete #determined #and absolutely positively headstrong through and through.#I don't take myself too seriously #And I don't hold too much sacred that I do #I really just want to make the world slightly better #for even one person #anyways.#asks #izzy-fishy #oh this is also why I hate like... advertising #and locking anything behind a paywall #and just. all of that stuff #I wish I could just make money drawing whatever and everything I do were free with no issues #but the best way for me to pay my bills and make more art is for some of it to be for money... so.#unfortunately I dont get to truly live my dream #where I spend all day teaching people how to draw and making them art they love #ALAS!!!#capitalism

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blue-eli · 4 days

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Ink October day twenty-five: Contexture

The act of weaving or assembling parts into a whole.

An arrangement of interconnected parts; a structure.

The arrangement and union of the constituent parts of a thing; a weaving together of parts; structural character of a thing; system; constitution; texture.

#will I ever be normal about them? no. fuck you.#kh xion #kh roxas #kh sora #xion kh #roxas kh #sora kh #roxas #Xion #kingdom hearts xion #xion kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts sora #sora kingdom hearts #roxas kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts roxas #kingdom hearts #kh #blue boi draws #ink october 2023 #ink October 2023 day 25 #thinking about how Xion isn’t just Sora’s replica but Roxas’ as well. girlie has more identity issues then you can shake a stick at #she fights like Roxas she fights like Sora she might even like fighting but she was made for it after all #does the weopon like violence because it enjoys it or because it is a weopon to begin with #I’d say Sora to a certain extent enjoys fighting (see: the colosseum and the play fighting during childhood) I think he likes fighting peop #and likes fighting with people when the stakes aren’t too high. it’s fun. on the other hand I think the closest thing to fighting Roxas #likes is struggle. maybe with some play wrestling or something. but if the person your hitting isn’t dropping colour balls he isn’t into it #it becomes at best a chore at worst something that would fuck with his trauma. he doesn’t wanna be a keyblade master he wants to be normal.#Xion on the other hand is much more complicated. I think she enjoys it (her choosing to train on their day off) but more in the way that #she finds it satisfying instead of fun. she likes Completing Tasks and Improving and things that when she focuses on past reveal she finds #uncomfortable. running out of space but Phemiec’s All I Want. ‘all I want is to know the wanting is my own’ ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgg

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samarecharm · 2 months

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Would love to explore some more shu/ake dynamics bc theyre both so interesting to me. Interesting as in they would not be in a traditional relationship; theyd be so incredibly dysfunctional it would genuinely get either of them killed if they were to attempt something prior to the end of base game. Goro is angry and volatile and full of self righteousness, but he is incredibly depressed and miserable and full of self loathing. Hes someone who has been alone for most of his life, and has an incredibly complex relationship with his public facing persona and his goals; he is not ready for someone who will make him challenge his worldview at every chance they can. He refuses to be patronized but he needs someone who will be gentle and understanding. And hell never get that in a normal way bc he views someone being gentle with him as patronizing 😭

So he needs someone who will actively call him out on his bullshit, on his self loathing, and his attitude. But he also needs someone who will be patient with him and remind him that he IS worth something, that hes NOT a failure (hello??? ‘Im…special?’’youre more than special dude’ it was so easy for the thieves to get to him by just validating the work he did, and the trouble hes caused them lol). Akira CAN do this, but i think, w the way ive characterized him, he is just as angry and volatile as Goro, and he wouldnt know how to diffuse their arguments in a productive way. It would be catastrophic as Akira tries to show that he fucking CARES, and goes blind w rage as Goro consistently taunts and defies him and ignores his logic. And Goro would spiral trying to rationalize Akiras behavior as anything other than Good; the assumption that he must be lying and trying to manipulate him would eat at him until hes forced to storm out.

Anyway. All of this to say that shu/ake TO ME is “akira and ryuji are dating, and sometimes goro is there in the background looking like this 👇🏾”

#chattin #that last addition is a joke but also its not #like genuinely the only way i can see goro being happy and behaving himself is if he has ryuji there too #and like. ryuji cares. alot. he cares sm about everyone . hes got a BIGASS HEART #<- blatant ryugoro apologist here #so its not exactly a polycule; but it is a friends w benefits adjacent thing #like a qpr with him. do u feel me?#the timeline for all my au stuff is a little bit later than whats presented in the game (by only a year)#so like. by the end of the game. and akiras palace shenanigans #and the whole thang w strikers #goro would be way more adjusted and less explosive and unstable about things #but in order to get there; it takes alot of work #the moral of this is that ryuji is struggling w akira and his issues too. and he is the grounding force for him #and it makes sense that that would work on goro too lol #ann is also like this; which is why i think she would be the person goro relaxes around the most before the others #she and ryuji are blunt and not afraid to tell it like it is. but they are also incredibly nice and lovely #and they do not hold back on compliments either.#its them being so honest; and that honesty also containing a wealth of positivity that makes it difficult for goro to keep the mask on #weugh #anyway #shuake #<- tagging this for blacklisting and not bc i enjoy sending out a call to all shuakes in the area. i am afraid of them #and hoping that keeping the tag at the end prevents it from going in the main tag #even though i know tumblr tagging is horrendous and it will appear there anyway ☠️

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