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#ok i think i got all my thoughts out! for now...
propertyofwicked · 1 day
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WAS IT REAL? - LN
lando is at risk of losing his job if he doesn't clean up his image, and his best friend needs a way of travelling the world. they come up with a flawless plan - which could not possibly go wrong, right?
based on this request! (i went a little overboard im sorry) ✧ my inbox is open! ✧
warnings - fluff, angst, small allusion to smut at the end - fake dating to lovers hehe. also, 5k words??? who am i?? (writen BEFORE the miami gp!! i needed a few days to recover lol)
the song inspo for this got removed from spotify but it is based on "was it real" by ben rodrigues <3
masterlist the playlist
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✧ tell me was it real...
...or was it just pretend? ✧
“and now i’ve had zak sit me down and essentially said ‘we don’t hire slags’”
“he said that your recent behaviour was causing concern for mclarens image - not that you were a slag, lan.”
“same thing,” he argued, ”i’m 24 for gods sake, if i want to speak to women in a nightclub that shouldn’t be any of zak’s business.”
“i think it became his business when someone filmed you, in your mclaren, having what im sure was a lovely conversation with the girl sat on your lap,” she teased back, emphasising her words slightly. he huffed at, crossing his arms over his chest as he leant back into her sofa.
lando had walked into her flat 20 minutes prior, as he had hundreds of times before, threw himself down on her sofa and launched into a long rant about the meeting he had just come from.
since he was at the woking offices, zak had taken the opportunity to discuss the several occasions in recent weeks where lando had been caught in predicaments with multiple different women. when he finally left, zak’s ultimatum ran through his brain on a loop as he drove to one of his closest friends houses.
“clean your image up, or we’ll have to reconsider the possibility of you having a seat next year.”
“it sucks, lan, but i really don’t know how i can help you here,” y/n told him, moving a stack of research notes to the table before sitting cross legged next to him so that her body faced his.
y/n l/n was a newly graduated environmental researcher, who was taking a year out to decide what kind of work she wanted to pursue. she needed to travel, see the world, and experience all elements in her field before she could make that decision - but travelling was expensive and she could not afford to be in anymore debt after university.
“i have an idea,” lando announced, the realisation of what he was about to propose never really settling.
“that’s never good,” she joked.
“no, no hear me out -” he started, “i need to look like a man in a stable relationship, you need to see the world.”
“yeah? so?” she questioned, confused as to where he was going with this.
“look, it’s ok if you say no. i’m just saying - you could pretend to be my girlfriend and use the opportunity to travel the world and research your little bugs.”
“i don’t know, that seems a bit…deceitful?” y/n replied, yet the idea mulled in her brain more than she wished.
“just a few public appearances. you come with me to my races and use it as a research opportunity. maybe stay in monaco with me for a bit? let people film us being domestic and that?” lando replied, stuttering as he tried to think of more reasons - truly, he had started talking before he’d really thought it through.
“it’s tempting,” she replied slowly, “and for the last time lando, i do not study bugs, i study the environments they live in.”
“all expenses paid, travelling the world, looking at trees across the world,” he added teasingly, “- and all you have to do is hold my hand in public,” he finished, trying to summarise the arrangement.
“ok.”
“ok?”
“yeah, what’s the worst that can happen?”
✧ tell me all the places that you wanna see...
....i can take you all the places that you've never been ✧
the two of them fell easily into a natural act, almost gaining a sixth sense for cameras and fans and reaching for each other. it started small - a hand on her back, standing close to each other, being seen arriving and leaving together. but it hadn’t been enough, many pointing out that y/n had been at races and stayed with him in monaco multiple times, and concluding the two were still, just friends.
so they upped the ante. lando began holding her hand when they walked anywhere together, kissing her forehead lightly as they both pretended to be clueless to the snapping of cameras. at the last race, y/n had spotted a reporter and made a quick decision to tug at lando’s fireproof, pulling him down and pressing a soft kiss to his lips.
“that’s new,” he had told her, laughing lightly, but keeping his hands firmly on her waist.
“camera,” she told him, smiling up at him as he nodded.
and lando kept up his end of the deal, the two of them using the week of the australian grand prix to visit the great barrier reef.
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their plan was working - the two were elated that people were finally putting the pieces together and believing the two really were together. even zak began to notice the positive effect y/n had on not only his image, but lando’s entire life.
“say y/n,” zak started as he walked up to the woman, “you work in environmental protection, don’t you?”
“i guess you could say that,” she responded, too tired to correct him, and slightly startled that he’d approached her as she sat minding her own business in the garage before the race began.
“we’re doing some work with the barrier reef group and oscar in a few days - would you consider being a sort of environmental advisor? just tell oscar a few things that he could talk about for the project?” he asked her assertively, smiling as her eyes widened at the request.
“i’d love to! but im supposed to be flying back tomorrow. let me ask lando later and ill get back to you?” she replied.
“sure,” he replied, smiling at her again before returning to his job. she was filled with excitement, it wasn’t often that she got to talk about her degree, and being able to contribute to a project of this scale was an amazing opportunity.
and her excitement only continued throughout the race, a feeling she always got watching lando compete, but overwhelmed when he cross the line 3rd. y/n ran round to join the rest of the mclaren team at the pit lane, watching as the podium cars pulled in and the drivers hopping out to celebrate with their teams.
lando climbed out, removing his helmet quickly before turning, scanning the crowd for y/n, and half sprinting when he spotted her. later, he would celebrate with his team, but for now he ran to her, pulling her in closely as he pressed his lips hastily to hers, pulled in closer by her hands cupping his jaw. when they pulled away, he kept her close to his embrace.
“im so proud of you,” she told him, smiling as he bent down to kiss her again, before rushing off to join his team.
y/n tried so hard to push away the feeling rising in her stomach - she didn’t like him like that, it was just the excitement of watching her friend succeed. so she ignored it, the same way she pushed away the feeling she got every time he calls her angel, even when they were alone.
im only here so that he keeps his job she reminded herself.
lando was distracted - he got podium, he was excited, his team were celebrating. yet he couldn’t help but let his thoughts linger to that feeling that shot through his veins when he’d kissed her. the same feeling he got every night, when she wrapped an arm tightly around his chest as they fell asleep.
she’s only here for research opportunities he told himself.
“im so proud of you,” y/n told him later that day as they left the track. wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled him in to a tight hug, his arms falling naturally to hold her waist close to him. lando risked everything in that moment, pulling slightly back to look at her, before pressing a kiss to her lips.
“camera,” he told her, feeling her hesitation. her smile fell slightly before she leaned up to kiss him again. of course - the cameras, that’s why he kissed me she thought to herself, saddened slightly at the realisation.
there was no camera. they were totally alone.
✧ colours of the sky in your eyes
...fragments of the truth in your lies ✧
lando felt alone, his apartment felt so empty without her. he was happy she had the opportunity to stay in australia and do what she loves, but he couldn’t help but dwell on the flames igniting inside of him when he saw the videos of her and oscar together. it wasn’t jealousy, he told himself, he just missed her. after spending the last few months in close proximity, it made sense that he missed smelling her perfume around, or hearing the way her voice travelled through his brain.
y/n had a calming effect on him, and right now, lando was anything but calm.
which is why he found himself going back to his old ways, in a club, surrounded by women he wouldn’t remember the next day. he was too gone to remember that people with cameras tend to follow him around, capturing his every move in 4k - and he was far too gone to realise that publicly he was in a relationship, a relationship that should not include him leaving a club with a blonde.
and of course, y/n had seen the images blasted over twitter, headlines titled “cheating scandal?” consuming her entire feed. it was hard to remind herself that this thing between her and lando was not real, it was all pretend. and no matter how many times she told herself that fact, y/n couldn’t help but feel jealousy consume her entire existence.
the flat had never felt so awkward than the week before their flight to japan for the next race. she had returned a few days after the incident, lando greeting her at the door with a tight hug and a kiss to her forehead, but something was off.
“you have fun?” he asked her offhandedly as they moved to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water for himself.
“i did,” she said with a smile, though her tone held malice, “did you?”
lando’s hands stopped opening the cap of the bottle as he breathed in sharply.
“the fuck does that mean?” he replied, his tone harsh in defence.
“i was just asking if you had a good time, lando,” y/n answered, “she looked pretty, your type.”
“nothing happened, y/n,” lando told her, his voice sounding almost guilty.
“it’s ok if something did happen - we aren’t actually together,” she assured him, even though she could feel the jealousy bubbling up inside her again, “can you just be more cautious next time? im not sure i enjoy being told i deserved to be cheated on every time i open twitter.”
“im sorry, y/n, i am. i dont know what i was thinking,” he apologised, his eyes still softening with his guilt.
“clearly not a lot,” she tutted, before moving to take her bags to her room.
the rest of the week followed a similar vibe - the two of them barely spoke if they didn’t have to, making a few affectionate public appearances to show the world that their relationship was as strong as ever… oh the irony y/n thought every time she saw something dismissing earlier lando’s actions. however, by the time they flew out to japan, the friendship between the two seemed to have recovered - lando had almost sighed in relief when he saw her smile at him again.
“where you off to today?” lando asked her, pacing around the hotel room as he packed his bag for the day.
“the marina,” she replied, smiling as she pulled her coat on, “looking at the fish.”
“gross.”
“what time is qualis?” y/n asked him, ignoring his statement.
“uhh…3 i think - but you should try and get there by 2?” he told her, glancing down at his phone to see the current time. lando strode over to her, cupping her face lightly as he pressed a quick kiss to her head - this was becoming second nature to him, and she wasn’t sure how he felt about it.
“perfect!” she replied, trying to stop the nervous blush rising her face, ignoring the way her stomach flipped, “ill be there,” she added before pressing a quick kiss to his cheek and leaving the room. the moment the door closed, lando’s hand raised to touch where she had kissed him, smiling fondly at the thought.
he was utterly and truly fucked. how had he let himself fall for her? how could he continue to pretend to love her, when he really did?
y/n spent the rest of the morning in a similar state of panic, mentally shutting down at the prospect of loving lando and knowing he’d never feel the same. she hadn’t even intended to leave him today, but found herself quickly googling anything for her to do the moment she woke up with his arm wrapped tightly around her stomach and his head resting on her back. y/n needed space, she knew she couldn’t keep up their little act when her heart was slowly shattering every time he kissed her for the cameras.
so caught up in her own thoughts, she didn’t realise the time until it hit 2pm and she was stuck at the marina, desperately trying to find a taxi to get her to the track. and when she finally made it, y/n wish she hadn’t bothered.
lando was pacing angrily, talking under his breath as he checked his phone constantly - he only had 5 minutes before he needed to go down to the garage and get ready for qualifiers. the door slid open, and y/n walked through - ready to spurt out her apologies - but she stopped suddenly, sensing the anger looming in his room.
“where were you?” lando asked her, trying to keep himself calm, though the race nerves mixed with his temperament made that quite difficult.
“im sorry lan, i lost trac-”
“lost track of time? found something more interesting to do? save it, i don’t wanna hear your excuses,” he argued back, interrupting her with his ever loudening tone.
“you’d know all about ‘finding something more interesting’, wouldn’t you,” y/n replied, her own voice raising to meet his. if there’s one thing y/n will do, it’s stand up for herself, even when all she wanted to do was kiss him. dont kiss him, hit him she told herself.
“fuck you,” he spat, shoving past her to leave the room.
“at least im here!” she shouted back down the hallway, desperate for the last word
y/n stayed in the room for qualifiers, trying to stop the tears running down her face before lando returned. she hoped his anger was only heightened by his nerves, praying that after securing P3 he would return as his normal self, laughing and joking with her. in a strange way, she wanted cameras on them, she wanted him to be affectionate with her - she needed him to comfort her.
the woman walked nervously down to the garage, hoping to catch him quickly before he had to run off for media duties. maybe now he had secured a solid start position for tomorrows race he would be more willing to have a mature, sensible conversation with her.
or not.
lando spotted her immediately, pulling her arm quickly to lead her round to a secluded area outside the garage. he wasn’t angry at her, he was angry at himself for letting it get this far. he was so irritated, he couldn’t even spare a moment to see the fear in her eyes as he took in a deep breath.
he wasn’t angry at her, but he didn’t know how else to express his overwhelming emotions.
“what do you want? make it quick, ive got media to do,” he snapped, letting go of her arm as they stopped walking. she rubbed at it, her skin still burning from his tight grip.
“i just wanted to see you lan, congratulate you,” she replied softly, biting back tears once more.
“oh now you want to be here to support me?” he breathed out, crossing his arms over his chest.
“what does that mean?”
“i let you come with me to help with your career, and yet you can’t even turn up to support mine. i knew you were selfish but thi-”
“selfish?” she argued, trying to keep her voice low, “me? selfish? i haven’t got enough fingers to count the amount of times you’ve missed my important things because you were busy with your career. and have i complained once?”
“well no but-”
“but nothing, lando. i can’t even pretend to love this version of you,” she ranted, her anger being overcome with sadness, “you know what? fix your own reputation - or don’t. i don’t care what or who you do anymore,” she finished, turning on her heel and storming away from him.
he wanted to follow her, he wanted to hold her close as he apologised. lando knew he was being selfish, he knew it wasn’t fair to string her along under the pretence of saving his career. he knew he could no longer pretend, not with her and not with the public. lando needed her in every sense of the word. but duty calls, so he settles on dealing with this later, sitting her down and telling her the truth, even if it had the potential to destroy their friendship - he figured he couldn’t make it any worse.
but y/n isn’t at the track when he finishes up for the day, and she’s not at the hotel when he returns - and neither are her belongings. lando checked his phone repeatedly, messaging her desperately.
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he fell to the bed, head in his hands as he tried to regulate his breathing.
she was gone, and it was all his fault.
✧ i know that you're perfect for me
…tell me that you're sorry
…won't you please just take my heart again ✧
it took a few weeks for lando to finally stop messaging her, though y/n noticed an increase in visits from max, their mutual friend, under the guise of “just checking in” on his childhood friend. y/ wasn’t stupid, she knew who was behind max’s sudden interest in her wellbeing. but max was stupid either, he knew why the two of them had taken this fall out so hard.
“you did what?” max shouted in shock.
“i asked her to pretend to be girlfriend so i could keep my job,” lando sighed, hiding his face in his hands.
“you’re stupid.”
“i know.”
“in what world was that ever going to end well?”
“the world where i didn’t realise i actually do fancy her?” lando replied quietly, questioning his own admission.
“im so stupid,” max replied.
“how are you the stupid one here?”
“stupid for believing the two of you had finally worked out what has been right in front of you since we were 13.”
lando was desperate. he needed to talk to her, he needed to tell her how he felt - but for now, he settled with knowing she was ok.
“she’s alive and healthy - and she had pizza for lunch,” max told him over the phone, growing tired of this weekly routine the two of them had started.
“but she’s doing ok, right?”
“she’s good, lan,” he reassured, neglecting to tell him the part where she cried on him about losing her best friend over a trivial, child-like crush.
“but…?” lando asked, sensing there was more.
“but - she still doesn’t want to talk to you.”
“i could’ve guessed that one, thanks mate.”
“hey dont get mean with me - im just doing what you asked.”
“i know, sorry.”
“don’t apologise to me, find a way to fix this you muppet.”
y/n was not ok, spending most of her nights alone, scrolling through social media seeing the rumours about her and lando’s supposed split - “she’s wasn’t at the race” “i saw her leaving suzuka crying” “he looks so sad in interviews”. why do they care so much? but they aren’t wrong, she thought.
she began looking for a job, but nothing seemed as exciting as the work she’d done with mclarens environmental programme - which seemed to no longer be an option. unbeknownst to her, mclaren also loved the work she had done with them - her presence was greatly missed in the garage by many, especially those on the receiving end of lando’s current outbursts.
y/n’s phone lit up the entire room, the notification cutting through the silence of her room, breaking her away from her own thoughts.
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-
y/n was still convinced this was a trick, luring her to miami under the pretence of work so that oscar could push her head first into a trap. the thought stuck with her throughout her plane journey, as she checked in to her hotel, even up to the moment she knocked on oscar’s door to discuss the project. she was waiting for lando to appear, push her into a locked room and force her to talk to him.
“…’but if i talk to him, ill end up telling him why i ran, and how i feel about him, then he’ll reject me, laugh in my face and im back to feeling sorry for myself,” she told oscar, having finished giving him the run down for their project, and allowing the conversation to move to the elephant in the room - what had happened between her and lando.
“im sure that’s not true,” he replied, feeling sad for the girl in front of him, though he already knew most of the story from hearing lando’s self-destructive rants.
she opened her mouth to responded, but was stopped by a sharp knock at the door.
“oscar? are you ready to go?” a familiar voice called from the other side, sending y/n’s blood cold, her eyes widening in panic.
“what the fuck, oscar?” she whispered shouted, feeling betrayed.
“i didn’t know he was coming y/n, i swear, i’d never do that to you,” oscar reassured her truthfully, although slightly beaming as a plan formulated in his head, “stay there, ill tell him to meet me downstairs.”
oscar stood, moving to open the door slightly.
“hey mate - just got some things to sort out, ill meet you downstairs in 15?”
“sure,” lando nodded, turning to leave, but not before his eyes drifted into the room, spotting the same pair of flowery vans that had spent months sitting in his hallway. y/n’s vans.
lando walked down to the lobby, taking a seat as he waited for oscar, his mind consumed with the fact that y/n was here, in miami, in his hotel. why was she here? why hadn’t she told him? was she still avoiding him?
“he-”
“where is she?” lando interrupted the australian the moment he approached.
“’hi oscar, are you ready to go?’ would’ve been my response but ok,” oscar replied.
“where is she, oscar?” lando continued, determined.
“she doesn’t want to see you.”
“i know,” he replied bluntly, “why is she here?”
“y/n was invited to join mclaren as an advisor on a new climate video,” oscar gave in, replying as professionally as he could - he wasn’t here to discuss their ‘breakup’.
that’s a lie, he’s pretty sure zak asked him to do another environmental video purely to suggest that he contacted y/n to be an advisor. and he’s absolutely certain that zak, equally as fed up with lando’s attitude, was looking for a reason to bring the two back together.
“who invited her? where is she staying?” lando quizzed him as they walked towards the car, doubting he’d even get an answer.
“zak invited her, he appreciated the work she did for us in australia,” oscar replied, ignoring his second question. lando hummed in response, if oscar wouldn’t tell him, he would find out for himself.
it was only a press day, so lando split from his teammate and began his hunt for zak brown. it wasn’t hard, the man was wearing bright orange and had a laugh that could be heard for miles.
“hey zak,” he started.
“hey lando, what can i do for you?” zak asked, glancing at his at a text on his phone quickly before giving lando his full attention.
“how are you?” lando asked hastily, beginning his attempt to bombard his boss with questions till he slipped up.
“im good.”
“what are you doing today?”
“just going over some things with the team.”
“what do you think the weather will be like on sunday?”
“war-”
“where’s she staying?”
“the marriot i-” zak replied, pretending to stutter as he answered, feigning shock at accidentally revealing the hotel.
“thanks zak, love you,” lando called out as he jogged out. zak smirked to himself, replying to oscar’s message.
z → mission complete.
o → you made sure it looked like an accident, right?
z → jesus oscar i just told him the hotel name i didn’t kill him
of course lando couldn’t leave the track immediately, he had a job to do first. but the moment he became free for the evening, he was off, arriving at the hotel in record time. there were many cons to being a recognisable face, but a pro of being so famous was a hotel receptionist who barely batted an eyelid as lando demanded to know the room number of y/n l/n.
his knuckles rapped on the door quickly, his heartrate beating rapidly as he did. this could go so many ways, and most of them were not good. the door swung open, his eyes coming to look at the woman in front of him - she looked good, but she looked different, like something was missing.
“lando? what are yo- OSCAR!” she called out, turning to look back into the room, the door widening as she did revealing his teammate sat at the desk, “did you do this?”
“not me,” he replied, holding his hands up in defence. her head spun back around to look at lando, she was taking him in. he had a plaster on his nose, the curls were alive and well, and his everlasting tan ran the expanse of his skin. she didn’t want to admire him, but damn, miami was treating him well.
“go away i dont want to see you,” she announced suddenly, trying to shut the door but finding his foot blocking it.
“i know you don’t, but i need you to just listen to me, please. and then you can shut the door and never have to deal with me again,” he told her, pleading.
“oscar’s here.”
“actually, i should probably get going,” oscar announced moving to grab his stuff to leave. y/ns head shot back around, her eyes shooting daggers at him as if to say ‘dont you dare leave me alone with him right now’ to which he merely shrugged and walked out.
lando closed the door behind him, moving the two of them back into the room - y/n sat down awkwardly on the edge of the bed as he remained stood in front of her.
“what do you need to tell me?” she asked him impatiently.
“y/n, these last few weeks have been hell for me. i know i hurt you, i said some horrible stuff that you really didn’t deserve and i will do anything for you to forgive me and move past this,” he said, pausing before adding, “i don’t know about yo-”
“oh, so it wasn’t you sending max to “check in on me” every week?” she interrupted, her eyebrows quirking with her accusation.
“you worked that one out then?” lando replied, laughing slightly, relief washing over him that she didn’t seem angry at him.
“it was so obvious! since when has max ever felt the need to check im doing ok ever? let alone every week?”
“i sent him because i care about you y/n. you weren’t responding to my messages, dodging my calls,” he told her, watching her smile slightly, a blush rising her face.
“so why are you here now?”
“look, this whole ‘thing’,” he started, waving his arms to indicate he meant whatever the two of them were doing, “it started as something purely to benefit the both of our careers. but i think somewhere down the line, it turned into something more. something that should’ve happened years ago,” he told her, his heart ready to beat its way out of his chest and jump out the window.
the two sat in silence for a moment, y/n mulled over his words in her head. this is what she wanted, wasn’t it? she wanted him to love her the way she loved him. so, why did she feel so apprehensive about letting him back in?
“i know you felt it too, y/n,” lando said again, not letting her thoughts distract her too far.
“feel,” she said bluntly.
“huh?”
“you said felt. i still feel that way about you lan.”
“then why won’t you let me in?”
“you said some really nasty stuff to me, lan. really horrible stuff that had me reconsidering my entire life. you’re lucky i even let you stay. why couldn’t you just be honest with me - instead of pushing me away?”
“i didn’t know how to,” he admitted, stepping closer to her, “if i had a time machine, i would take back everything i said. id go back and slap some fucking sense into myself.”
lando now stood directly in front of her, his thighs brushing her knees lightly as his hand moved to her face, wiping away a tear she didn’t even know what trailing down her cheek. his fingers tucked a lose strand of hair behind her ear before settling on cupping her jaw lightly.
“can you forgive me?” he asked her softly, thumb stroking at her cheek.
“it’s not all your fault, lan. i could’ve said something too,” she told him.
“please just say you forgive me so i can kiss you, you idiot,” he laughed out.
“forgiven,” y/n said quickly, her head tilting so that their lips met. it was familiar, the feeling his lips on hers, but this time there was a sense of urgency. a sense of love that was absent anytime they had kissed before. his tongue swiped at her bottom lip, desperate for more which she granted happily, as her hands moved to rest in his hair, tugging at the curls lightly.
“fuck, y/n. ‘missed you so much,” he moaned out, the grip on his hair sending his mind blank.
“missed you too,” she replied as he moved to kiss down her neck softly, “even if you were a bit of a dick.”
“let me make it up to you?” lando teased, nipping at the skin of her neck whilst his fingers toyed with the hem of her top.
“there’s a lot to make up for.”
“ive got time,” he replied, pulling the fabric away from her body fully. her hands reached out, grabbing at his mclaren polo to remove it as well, dropping it next to herself on the bed.
lando laid her back on the bed, hovering over her as he continued kissing down the flesh of her torso.
“y/n i forgot m-” oscar started, barging back into the room, “oh my god, ive been gone what…? 3 minutes? how have you already taken your clothes off?” he exclaimed with a laugh.
“fuck off!” y/n and lando called out in unison, lando reaching for his top and launching it in oscar’s direction.
“ok ok, im going,” he replied, raising his hands again in defence, “stay safe kids,” he added before leaving the room, his forgotten phone now in tow.
“kids?” lando muttered, “im older than him?”
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worldlxvlys · 2 days
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one choice
part 6 of the CRUSH series
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bsf! matt sturniolo x reader
warnings: angst, mentions of sex, cursing
a/n -> hope u like <33
read the previous part for context !!
MATT’S POV
when my eyes fluttered open, i was immediately met with a pillow that wasn’t mine. i knew this pillow though, and those sheets.
i had forgotten where i was momentarily, until i looked over and saw her. her eyes were closed, lips parted slightly while she slept peacefully.
she looked angelic, the soft rays of the sun seeming to make her glow. she moved around in her sleep last night, leaving her barely covered by her blanket.
i couldn’t help but let my eyes wander her body, taking in every feature. her smooth skin was littered with dark marks all over, and the blanket left little to the imagination. before i knew it, i was hard again.
it took everything in me to fight the urge i had to take care of it right there next to her. what would she think if she woke up to me jerking myself off to her sleeping form?
oh my god, what was gonna happen when she woke up? she would want to talk about what this meant for us, but i couldn’t handle that.
what if this was a one time thing? what if she wanted nothing to do with me after this ? did i fuck up our friendship? i had to get out of there.
i got up quickly and quietly, careful not to make any noise while i got dressed. when i was done, i pulled her blanket over her so she was fully covered. i looked around for a pen and paper to leave her a note, as i didn’t want her to get the wrong idea.
ok, she has nothing to write a note with. i’ll just leave her a text.
well i could have done that, if i had realized i completely forgot my phone in her room before i left. i didn’t make this realization, however, until i had gotten back home.
so not only did she think i was the type of guy to fuck and dip, but i also couldn’t avoid the conversation that i was running from in the first place.
it’s not that i never wanted to talk about it, i just wasn’t ready for our friendship to change yet.
was running away the best way to handle the situation? definitely not, but i only had so much time to decide what to do before she woke up.
so basically, my overthinking ended up screwing me over. doesn’t it always ?
what was wrong with me? this was the girl who made me feel safe and loved, and now i couldn’t even talk to her. how did i manage to fuck up this badly?
one choice. one choice stemming from my fantasy-filled thoughts is all it took. and the decision i made last night led to more poorly made choices. choices that i wouldn’t have made had my brain not been corrupted by her.
her face, her smell, those perfect little moans that fell off her lips, she had a way of making me ignore every logical thought that my brain produced. i was so desperate to finally have her in the way i’d only dreamed about for years.
now if i didn’t fix this, i wouldn’t have her in any way.
———
READER’S POV
when i woke up, matt was gone. the spot where he had slept next to me was cold, meaning he hadn’t been there for a while.
for a second, i questioned whether last night was even real. had i really fallen so deep into my delusions that i started to believe them? i found the thought to be worrisome, but i tried not to dwell on it as i got up and made my way to the bathroom.
when i caught a glimpse of the hickeys decorating my skin i felt relief wash over me. i wasn’t going crazy. just as quickly as it came, the relief was replaced with a new feeling; embarrassment.
i seriously let myself think that he would want something more. hell, he marked me like he did. but he didn’t treat me like i was his best friend, he treated me like i was a one night stand.
maybe he had a valid reason for leaving. i tried to talk myself out of the rabbit hole of assumptions i was about to go down, and picked up my phone.
once a few hours had passed without him returning my texts or calls, i knew. he was done with me, he had to be. why else would he just leave without warning and ghost me?
i should’ve know this was going to happen, people always leave me in the end. it just never occurred to me that matt could be just like everyone else.
——
MATT’S POV
when i got to her house, i let myself in using the key she had given me. “y/n?” i called her name, not receiving an answer.
i pulled out the ice cream i had bought her on the way to her place, putting it in the freezer for her.
when i got to her room, she happened to be fresh out of the shower. she wore nothing but a towel, her eyes widening when she saw me.
“matt?” she asked before rushing over to me, pulling me into a tight hug. the water droplets that coated her skin soaked into my t-shirt, but all i could focus on was the fact that she was in my arms.
i inhaled the scent of her fruity body wash, eyes falling shut as i rubbed her back soothingly.
she then pulled away, smacking me upside the head with her heavy hand. “don’t do that again matt, i thought i scared you off. i thought you hated me- i thought i lost my best friend”
i cupped her cheek gently, “i could never hate you, and i’m not going anywhere. i was just overwhelmed, but i shouldn’t have just left life that. i’m sorry, i was gonna leave a note, but then i couldn’t find anything to write with. and i was gonna text you but i left my phone here and-”
“matt, it’s ok. i’m just glad that you’re here now” she whispered. “but there’s nothing to be scared of, i mean- last night was just the heat of the moment, right? i mean, it had to be, why else would you leave like that” she whispered the last part to herself.
shit. this was the problem, i didn’t know what the night before was.
i didn’t know what i wanted, and i didn’t want to hurt her in the process of figuring it out. what i did know, was i wasn’t going to lose her because i got greedy. so, i decided i would figure it out later, but for now: “yeah, that’s all it was”
“so, we’re good?” she asked. “we’re good” i confirmed.
“good. then i’m gonna get dressed and then we can watch something?” she posed the last part of the sentence as a question.
“yeah, and i brought you ice cream” i told her, watching her face light up at the news. “wow, you thought you really messed up, huh?” she asked as she grabbed her clothes to change into.
“i did really mess up, but i won’t do anything like that again” i told her. she just smiled at that letting out a quick, “i know” before moving to go back into her bathroom.
“wait, you’re seriously going into another room to get changed? did you forget how we spent last night together?” i joked. admittedly, it was probably a little too soon to crack jokes like that.
“last night never happened” she spoke before closing the door.
shit, why did that sting a little?
masterlist
tag list: @lustfulslxt @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @cupidsword @imwetforyourmom @nickmillersn1gf @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @mxqdii @sturniolowhore @readerakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @rootbeerworshiper @starsturniolo @hearts4chriss @theyluv-meee @carolinalikesthings @itzdarling @chrisstopherfilmed @judespoision @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @chrisloyalgf @robins-scoop @fandomhopped @chr1sgirl4life @bbglmfao @55sturn @nickgetsmewetter @meg-sturniolo @yamamasjumpercables @vanteguccir @ineedchriscock @junnniiieee07 @breeloveschris @luverboychris
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Text
ZENDAYA EATING A PIZZA!
TOUGH LOVE RANT!
Hi now that I’ve got your attention
I’m going to yell at you
Cuz I love you but y’all killing me with this
“I have the urge to move”
Or my favorite
“I didn’t get symptoms”
Mmmm this one is ultimate favorite
“How do I enter the void?”
😃
Sweetie what do you think my posts are about???
How to find the tooth fairy?
Please stop asking me that when it’s literally in ALL MY POSTS
I literally got blocked cuz I was asked over and over again
By someone I thought was a friend
How to get in the void
I told her
It’s in my posts
Read my posts
I guess she didn’t wanna do that
All you’re doing is meditating
Yall act like you have to clean a whole warehouse or work a 10am to 2am shift!
Like it’s giving
“Omg I have to lay still and affirm and breathe and actually be relaxed and ignore the 3D which I hate anyways and leave this physical plane to go to my 4D which is pretty much me in my most powerful and purest state to gain peace and comfort and manifest my desires because I was born to do this and then wake up with my desires because it’s literally so easy ugh that’s too much it’s soo hard!!
SOME OF YALL ARE GIVING THAT EXACT ENERGY
Im not comparing trauma or anything everything you’re going through is valid
But somebody is probably going through something so horrible
And they don’t know about the void state or manifestation in general!
YET YOU DO!!
Because guys I love you but you’re all asking the same thing over and over and over again
It’s driving me insane
Every post I make is about the void
What it is and how to get in
If my account was about making bagels
Would you ask me
“Do you make bagels?”
You see what I mean?
I love you so much but stop asking the same thing
And I made a post on boundaries
Still had someone asking me to enter the void for them
How am I gonna take time out of MY DAY
To enter the void for someone with the SAME POWER AS ME!!!!
That’s like helping a genius with his homework
You already know how to do it tf you asking me for????
😐
Bro
What do you think the void is???????
It’s not Disneyland
It’s not your mamas house
It’s not a Beyoncé concert
STOP TREATING IT LIKE ITS THE MOST DIFFICULT THING EVER OR THAT ITS OUT OF REACH OR OH I ONLY GET IN IF IM LUCKY
IT IS LITERALLY NOT!!!
There’s is no luck when it comes to the void
I’m not gonna keep repeating myself
Everyone on here keeps telling yall the same things
Yet you still ask
How to enter
Or
Complaining about not having symptoms
BECAUSE YOU GOT USED TO IT THATS WHY YOU HAVE NO SYMPTOMS ANYMORE AND EVEN IF YOU DO IDC IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR WHOLE BODY IS BEING DRAGGED ACROSS THE MF ROOM IGNORE IT YOUR SYMPTOMS IS APART OF THE 3D REALITY
WHY?
BECAUSE THEY ARE APART OF YOUR BODY AND YOUR BODY IS PHYSICAL THIS WHOLE REALITY IS PHYSICAL THERES NO POWER HERE YOU ARE THE 4D!!!!
THATS WHERE THE POWER IS AND ITS POWERFUL BECAUSE OF YOU
ITS ALWAYS BEEN YOU AND IT WILL ALWAYS BE YOU YOU HOLD THE POWER YOU ARE THE REASON WHY YOU EITHER ENTERED OR HAVENT BECAUSE ITS BASED ON YOUR ASSUMPTIONS
THE 3D IS A PHYSICAL REFLECTION OF YOU
YOU DONT LIKE IT RIGHT???????
OK MEDITATE
How???
BITCH JUST LAY THERE FOCUS ON YOUR BREATHING AND YOUR PEACE
AT THIS POINT SAY
FUCK MY DESIRES IMMA GET THEM ANYWAYS
IF YOUR ONLY GOAL FOR THE VOID IS TO MANIFEST YOUR DESIRES
YOU’RE GONNA GET IN ANYWAY BUT YOUR GOAL SHOULD INCREASE WITH EVERY STEP
WHEN YOU LAY DOWN FOCUS ON JUST FINDING PEACE AND CONNECTING WITH YOUR SELF DEEPLY FUCK THOSE SYMPTOMS FUCK ANY 3D REACTIONS IF YOU GET NO SYMPTOMS EVEN BETTER NOTHING TO DISTRACT YOU
IF YOU GET SLEEPY KEEP AFFIRMING YOU’LL WAKE UP IN THE VOID
DIDNT WORK?
DO IT AGAIN
“But I’m_(excuses)”
NOPE
DO IT AGAIN THIS IS FOR YOU NOT JUST YOUR DESIRES BUT YOU ARE GOING HOME TO GET THE PEACE YOU DESERVE
THE 4D IS YOUR HOME ITS CALLING YOU!!
YOU CREATED IT THE UNIVERSE TRYNA LET YOU KNOW WHOS BOSS
THAT BOSS IS YOU
SO LIKE A BOSS
GO TO WORK
GET WHAT YOU DESERVE
STOP COMPLAINING STOP RESEARCHING GET OFF OF HERE NOW!!
AND STOP USING ME AS YOUR VOID COACH I MAKE POSTS TO INSPIRE I RESPOND TO DMS FOR ASKS THAT I HAVENT ALREADY COVERED IF YOU NEED A QUESTION READ MY POSTS BEFORE YOU ASK
Not to be rude but you might get blocked if you ask
“How to enter the void?”
Bro
ALL MY POSTS TALK ABOUT THAT
Quit overcomplicating
You made the void
It exists because of you
Put YOURSELF on a pedestal not anything or anyone
Sometimes I feel like yall just use me and other blogs on here to get info on something we already talked about on our posts
Just for you to get mad when we get fed up with repetitive questions
BLOCK ME THEN BUT IM NOT ABOUT TO BABY YOU IM TELLING YOU THE TRUTH THE POWER LIES WITHIN YOU GIRLIE
READ BEFORE YOU ASK BABY
If this still doesn’t help you
Idk what else to say
I love you much love 🩵
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dinogoofymutated · 1 day
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OK!! some notes on episode 9 because I have a LOT to say
WHAT THE FUCK.
Ok first of all, I kinda loved this episode. The character dynamics between everyone was so good! Although I wish we got to see Jean and Storm talk about Madelyne and Nathan, because as far as I know she has no idea. I mean, surely they had to have a conversation about it, because why is there suddenly no baby in the house? But still.
I know we're supposed to be mad at Roberto Right now, but I just can't. It's obvious that he didn't really understand the extent of which going to war on magneto's side would entail. We can see that through the genuine feelings he was showing while fighting Jubilee. He didn't want to fight her, he regretted it the moment he started, but he didn't think that she would fight him back either. Roberto isn't exactly an X-men veteran, so I don't think he fully realized that he was in over his head. And Jubilee? Her heartbreaking "what about me?" FUCK. OH. MY HEART. Roberto really wasn't thinking about the full situation when he sided with Magnus.
The Jean and Cable fight has me heartbroken. Because we know from seeing the fight with Madelyne that sinister is just using Cable’s anger and polarizing it. And the fact that he doesn't see Jean as his mom, but Jean has all the memories from Madelyne? Hell she spoke about how she can remember the pregnancy and I'm sure she still has some feelings about Cable as a son. Also, I really fuckimg hope the ending of that scene doesn't mean she's dead (again) because to be honest I'd be really pissed off.
It was kinda sexy getting to see Cable's powers tho
And the fucking ending??? THE FUCKING ENDING??? FUCK. I really want to know what Rogue was thinking while watching a member of her family literally HAVE HIS BONES REMOVED. Is she still going to choose magneto after this? Is she going to place the blame on Logan for fighting in the first place? Imagine when storm finds out, after she had already expressed her emotions about permanent power loss. UGH.
I need to write some Logan fluff after this this is bulllshit.
-an added note, I kinda feel for the professor in this one. Hell yeah I'm mad at him, but the pain he's been going through kinda hits my heart. The scene where he wakes up, looks to the other side of his bed to find Lillandra obviously not there, and the difference between having the ability to walk and loosing it? :( and he really seems to be going through it emotionally. He was absolutely thinking only about the idealistic life he thought he was leaving his students but in the end he completely fucked it up. Sorry buddy, but maybe do that once the fight has been finished next time.
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sockiess · 2 days
Note
hi!! i hope you dont mind me requesting anon but my request is:
reader is anakin's padawan and they're on their period but anakin thinks reader is skipping training with him and he gets all frustrated and annoyed but soon realises and tries to help, in every way possible 🤗 (maybe thigh riding w/ clothes on, period oral? him massaging readers lowers back or shoulders, maybe him saying 'yeah?', if it grosses you out you don't have to write this as a smut and just keep it as fluffy! i just thought of this since i'm on my period x)
also please don't feel rushed or pressured to write this as soon as you read it, take as much time as you need!!
HI BAE SORRY I GOT TO THIS LATE 🙏🫶 AND OFC YOU CAN REQUEST ANON I LOVE ALL MY ANONS :D
Period
warnings: Period talk, period sex, padawan reader x master anakin
I was in so. much. pain. My period decided to start early and not only did it decided to start early it decided to start on the day that me and my master, Anakin, had very important training. I’m currently curled up into a ball on my bed with raging cramps and a raging headache. I knew Anakin was going to be mad about me missing training but there was no way that these cramps where going to allow me to get up anytime soon.
I heard large few steps coming to my room and I knew it could only be one person, Anakin. Next thing I knew there was very loud knocks at the door that only made my headache worse. I physically cringed when the knocking got louder and harder. “Come in” I muttered loud enough for him to hear me.
“What do you think you’re doing?” He asked me as soon as he walked in crossing his arms. “Wallowing in my misery” I mumbled into my pillow. “We had a very important training session that you missed.” Anakin said while standing by my bed with his arms crossed. “Do I look like I’m in any position to train right now?”I asked him, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to escape my eyes. “What’s wrong?” Anakin asked softly as he sat down in my bed. “Everything hurts” I pouted and nuzzled my head deeper into my pillow. I could see Anakin physically soften as he rested his hand on my back. “Is there anything I can do?” He asks. “Rub my back?” I said as I stuck out my bottom lip to make him feel bad for me.
Anakin started to softly rub my back as he laid down beside me. “Feeling better?” He whispered. “A little” I said honestly and started to curl out of the little ball I was in. Anakin had this look on his face like he contemplating something. “What’s that look for?” I quietly asked him. “Nothing” He answered and started to massage my shoulders. “Tell me” I said scooting closer to him “Just a little fun fact just don’t worry about” He answered as he played with my hair. “Tell me” I said in the most softest and sweetest voice I could muster. “Just that orgasms can help with period cramps” He said nonchalantly.
I started to pick at the bottom of his shirt nervously. “what are you thinking about” Anakin whispered in my ear. “no reason” I squeaked out. “You want to test that theory” Anakin said as he pulled me into his chest and softly kissing the shell of my ear. “yes” I said quickly.
Anakin quickly sat up with me on his lap and started to softly kiss my forehead. “gotta know if you’re ok with this first” He whispered resting his forehead against mine. I quickly nodded trying to kiss him but he pulled his head away. I immediately frowned and started to cry. “hey, hey, hey, what’s wrong” He quickly asked me wiping my tears. “You don’t want to kiss me” I pouted. “I do baby trust me I do I just need your verbal consent” he said wiping my tears and kissing my cheek. “I want you to touch me” I said. He quickly smashed his lips against mine. He put me on his thigh and started to rock my hips back and forth against it. “Ani!” I said at the sudden contact as his rough Jedi clothes were rubbing against my clit. “I know baby I know” Anakin breathed out. “Anakin” I moaned out as I started to move my hips faster. “yeah?” makes your little pussy feel good doesn’t it” I continued to grind against his thigh when suddenly I felt him dip his hands into my pants and start to rub my clit. “Ani!” I screamed out as he quickly covered my mouth with his hand. “shhh baby can’t have people hearing you” He said. I laid my head down on his shoulder nuzzling my face into his neck. “Just relax baby i’ll do all the work” He kissed my head as he moved my hips faster. “Ani i’m gonna cum” I moaned out. “Just let go baby it’s ok i’m here” Anakin whispered into my hair. I felt the knot in my stomach finally snapped as I moaned into Anakin’s neck. “There we go” Anakin softly whispered as I came down from my high.
“You feel better?” He asked me as he rubbed my back and pulled the blanket over our bodies. “So much better, thank you” I kissed his neck softly and curled into him yawning as the sleepiness finally hit me. “Rest baby i’ll be here when you wake up.” I heard Anakin whisper as I softly drift off to sleep.
HOPE YOU ENJOY SORRY ITS LATE IF YOU WANT ME TO ADD OR CHANGE ANYTHING PLEASE LET ME KNOW :))
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grayson1996 · 2 days
Text
Just a little ficlet I thought up! ***
“I miss my mom.”
The admission was quiet, but Dick saw Jason’s head snap up from his phone, gaze indiscernible as he surveyed Dick. Probably trying to figure out what brought the confession on.
“Ok.” Jason said it like a statement, but Dick could hear the question in it.
“I miss how warm her body felt when she hugged me. I miss being able to bury my head into her stomach and breathe her in…. I miss breathing her in. I miss having a mom and knowing what it’s like to be loved by someone unconditionally. I miss growing and having her there to notice.” Dick got quiet a moment, a little unsure if he should continue sharing, but he felt the need to anyway. “Sometimes I miss being the youngest. My cousin was a few years older than me, all my friends at the circus were. Hell, even the Titans were. I miss being the one cared for. You know?”
Dick saw Jason set down his phone and turn to face Dick head on. After a moment Dick turned as well and matched his brother’s gaze. The confusion that was there making way to understanding.
“Yeah. I know what you mean.”
Dick felt himself relax slightly at the reassurance, closing his eyes he sunk deeper into his living room couch that the two were currently occupying.
“I miss wearing clothes that weren’t replaced as soon as they got holes. And I miss dishes made with cumin and cinnamon. And I miss my dad. God, I miss him so much. He was so calm Jay, he always smiled, he always knew that things were going to be ok, you know? He sang all the time, and no one sings here.” Dick felt his throat close at the realization, not even realizing all this was weighing on his heart until he let himself feel it. “No one sings here, and sometimes I forget about all them. It’s like my life is on auto-pilot and I just don’t think about it. But then I remember and it’s like my body is ripping itself open from the grief and I can’t... I can’t- just”.
Jason shifted in his seat, pulling Dick toward him as he started to get worked up. Breathes coming out quicker than intended. Dick let himself be manhandled into an awkward sideways hug. Unsure of where all this was coming from. For a moment it was quiet as Jason held him until his younger brother let out a heavy breath.
“Sometimes I miss my old apartment. Stupid, you know? The place was filled with water damage and mold and my Ma and I shared a shitty lumpy 20 year old mattress that should have been torched years ago…. But it still was mine, and now it’s gone.” Dick felt Jason shrug, arms still wrapped around him.  “I think what people forget is, that to be human is to find the good memories in bad. It’s how we go on. That’s why everyone says grief is a gift, it means you loved someone so much that you get to miss them.”
“That’s stupid.” Dick muttered defiantly, grinning slightly when Jason laughed. “Grief isn’t a gift, it’s the cost of getting to love.”
“Careful Dickie, your dangerously close to sounding cynical and that’s my shtick.”
“I didn’t say it was a cost I was unwilling to pay.” Dick pulled himself back, leaning onto the side of the couch to face Jason once more. “I just wish I had more time to save up before I had to cash in.”
 Jason nodded, leaning back himself, though still watching Dick with a careful eye.
“You don’t talk about this often.” Another statement, one Dick knew to be true. He never talked about his parents, not since his current family started to grow.
“Bruce never talked about his parents, for awhile I think I thought grief was locking away memories until they faded into existence. When I realized that wasn’t the case you guys were here and I didn’t want to bring them up in case you felt like… I don’t know… I didn’t love the family I had now?”
Jason stared at him dumbly for a moment.
“That’s the stupidest fucking thing you’ve ever said Goldie and that’s including the time you tried to convince Wally, B was a vampire.” Dick snorted at the memory, which Jason smiled at. “Remembering what you lost doesn’t negate what you have, and the adage that time heals all wounds is misconstruing. It doesn’t mean the injury stops hurting, hell your fucked up knee acts up every time it so much as showers. Just because something isn’t actively gushing blood doesn’t mean its fine, doesn’t mean you don’t still need to take care of it.”
Dick let out a heavy breath, he had forgotten how intuitive Jason could be.
“Yeah. You’re right.”
“Course I’m right, I’m the only one of you fuckers who consistently reads books without pictures in it.”
Dick pushed him roughly but without any heat, dodging the pillow Jason tried to lob at his face in retaliation. For a moment the two tussled, feeling younger than they had in a while. Only stopping when a wayward elbow sent Dick’s lamp thudding to the floor. Slightly out of breath Dick nudged Jason with his foot, the joviality making way for genuineness.
“Thank you. For letting me talk about them.”
Jason gave him a small smile, one without the useful veneer of snark.
“Anytime.”
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hellaarknight · 2 days
Text
Nothing can change the way I see you
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**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚* ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚* ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙
Pairing: Chuuya x femreader Warnings: pet names, mental and physical struggles, being pregnant, a bit oc (a bit more actually) Genre: Fluf/Comfort
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚* ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚* ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙
Chuuya never thought about seriously having children. Yeah, sure, he did find the idea entertaining, but he could not see himself as a father. Firstly because of his job and the dangers it entails, and secondly because he was afraid of being a shitty father. Probably many other reasons, but these two were enough to engrave in his mind that he would never be a father. And honestly, all was working out when he met you, his now wife, and a person who also did not want kids. So when you presented him with a pregnancy test he was conflicted. Scared. And so were you.
Despite these feelings, he hugged you and reassured you that you would figure it out together. He wiped away your tears when one day you confessed you were afraid his feelings would change with this pregnancy. „Doll... There is no way in hell that my feelings for you will ever change” „But...but... You say that now, but when I will have a belly and stretchmarks and I will be in pain, you will be repulsed by me” His hands cupped your face and he put his forehead onto yours. „Never. There is nothing in this world that could happen to make me lose my feelings. Nothi'g, pretty. You are my everything and despite you not wanting children, you chose to go forward with the pregnancy and gift me a kid. Baby doll, I'm staying by your side every step of this life.”
Unfortunately, no matter how much Chuuya was trying to convince you about his intentions, the story of your work colleagues and some friends did nothing but aggravate a feeling of dread for the pregnancy, birth experience, and whatever would happen afterward. Partners lose interest in their wives, not being attracted by them anymore, being repulsed because they saw the birth of their kids, and not wanting to engage in intimacy anymore, abandoning their spouse to all the chores of the house, minimizing the struggle of a new mom. And these were just some examples of what was told to you and what you read online. But Chuuya... Chuuya wouldn't do something like this, right? Chuuya was unaware of your internal struggles as he worked his but off in the Mafia so he could take more months off to be by your side in this process. It wasn't about the money, he had plenty, but about gaining more time from his life as an executive. Chuuya read a lot about pregnancy, side effects, and everything that had to do with the struggles of becoming a mom. He swore he would try to be as supportive as ever for you and the best dad he could ever be. When the hormones hit you like a brick, having you going from one emotional state to another, he wouldn't get angry once. Instead, he navigated through your mood changes the best he could. Was he going crazy? Yes, absolutely. But never once has he got mad at you. Not once has he raised his voice or made you feel bad about your own outburst, for your tears for your pitiful sight. „Baby, I'm not mad at you.” His voice soft, his hand holding yours while you tried to avoid his gaze. „Yes...hic... you are... I'm a terrible wife... I forgot, I'm sorry, I forgot to pack your lunch and now you're mad”. „No, baby, no, I am not mad, I ate plenty and you are not a terrible wife. You shouldn't even bother to think about doing things for me in this period, ok? You should rest as much as possible. Since the pregnancy is one with risks, you need to focus only on yourself, ok love?”
When you started having morning sickness and emptying your stomach almost every morning, he was there by your side if he was home, holding your hair up and rubbing your back. It pained him to see you vomiting so often, barely eating anything because everything made you nauseous. When in those moments you found yourself disgusting, he found you the most beautiful and amazing woman in the world. You kept pushing through. You kept drinking your prenatal vitamins to have a healthy baby and tried to have a variate diet, even tho you could barely tolerate food. In his eyes, you were shining, glowing, and wiping your mouth after one nauseous episode was the least he could do for you. „Chuu... I'm disgusting, how can you stay here?” Laying with your face near the toilet, tired, as you emptied your stomach for the fourth time today. „Stop talking like this about yourself, honey. It is something natural that happens and there is nothing to be disgusted of. C'me here, let me clean you up and I'll carry you to bed, you should sleep, you're barely getting around. And I'll have something else cooked when you wake up and you'll try again to eat, 'key baby?”
Chuuya was sure, there was nothing in this world, nothing that this pregnancy could bring that would make him look at you with less adoration. His feelings only grew bigger, if possible, he found you more and more charming every day, every day that belly grew and you faced another struggle in the process.
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bronx-bomber87 · 11 hours
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First off thank you much for the lovely response to my last thoughts. I was very nervous about posting and got a lot of good replies, notes and reblogs. This fandom is the best. I think it's important to see both sides and I wanted Tim's to be represented in a way that gave insight without condoning what he'd done. (Cause our boy done messed up.) So giving a little of myself achieved that I believe.
I didn't know a ton about this ep cause I’m a square who stays away from spoilers haha So let’s get started.
6x08 Punch Card
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Ugh my heart Tim got a reminder for Lucy’s Bday. Instant heart stomping already….I love that he had a reminder set up though. Making sure he would't forget. I’m crying already. Even though I'm so very sad. I love that he had this setup. When the elevator opens the amount of tension is palpable. Something felt very wrong. Good thing Tim was lost in his Lucy moment or he would've picked up on this sooner.
Poor Tim just wants to explain himself to Mad Dog. To explain what happened. The man is not in a place to receive it and we see later why. That look said it all though when Mad Dog departs. When Dr. London said she just took the wrong elevator my red flag gut was going off.
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Now that I've see the episode as a whole I can see Dr. London's play here. She seems to use flirting as a defense mechanism all her own. To protect herself and manipulate those around her. I mean they brought her flirt fest with Aaron in the recap back for a reason I think. She's worried Tim read into something about her interaction with Mad Dog. I mean Tim is clearly upset about seeing him and she uses that to deflect attention off herself. My off meter definitely was kicking on with her. Especially with how flirty she was being I didn't like it.
Now some may see Tim's response as him flirting back but I think he's investigating her. Also he's being a little sassy because he's not comfortable with her doing therapy outside the office. I mean his face when he leaves that elevator is not of a man who just flirted. It's one who is one still hurting and two his cop gut is going off but he isn't sure why....He seems conflicted by what just went down in that elevator. Just like us he was feeling off about her.
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This scene was very cute with Grey. I loved him anointing her to be a T.O. LOL Also once again showing the faith he has in Lucy. To train Celina and know she would do a good job. I was excited for this opportunity for her. For her to tap into leadership. Honestly it shouldn't have taken this long for Lucy to get to show her chops with this.
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Tim is so busy trying to delete his Lucy reminder he runs into the physical version of it without realizing. Andddddd it’s still awkward af between them. How could It not be? No communication between them so naturally it is. Stilted awkwardness. Lucy got out of there so fast. Even with Tim making the all powerful joke. Trying to make it less awkward. Ow. Couldn't get away fast enough. The way he watches her go. *sigh* Like he's watching his entire heart depart the room.
This hurts you guys. No matter how much I know it’ll be ok at some point this hurts to watch. Grey not pulling any punches noting how very awkward that was. Tim telling him that's actually better than it's been....Makes me wonder how much time has passed between 6x07 and now. Wade not caring that's progress to Tim. He is not messing around....
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Just wants Tim to fix is ASAP cause of the team dynamic. He's not wrong. Man isn't wrong. Rarely if ever is. Saying if Tim can't there’s gonna be a transfer and it won’t be Lucy….I mean I LOVE Grey siding with Lucy on this one. Not a doubt in his mind if it shakes out that way it'll be Tim. That being said just hearing that. Ugh. Deep anxiety pit of my stomach. And of course it would be friggin North Hollywood. That damn station been haunting them since S2. Looming over them ready to take one of them away.
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Lucy being Celina’s T.O .for the day I love it. She is so excited to be her leader even if it's just for this shift. Just wants to 'Invest in her success.' You know Lucy's leadership is pretty damn identical to how I am with my team. While I am mostly Tim there are pieces of Lucy in me as well. I related to her style of leadership quite a bit.
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Aaron and Tim in the surveillance van is hilarious. Their dynamic has always entertained me. I truly adore these two goobers together. Tim is trying so hard to keep his shit together. Aaron dying of ask him if he finds it hard to surveil his old team for an OP? Tim of course gives him the company line. Doing what he is told without complaint. Pulling out some S1 Tim with that reply my love.
Tim then telling him he needs a stronger deodorant LOL It's too funny. What a boring assignment for them both. Tim went from running that entire team. Doing ops and making decisions on the fly to this….Also Aaron being too distracted by his deodorant comment to pay attention is the most Aaron thing ever haha
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What I love the most about Lucy with Celina is her correcting without crushing her confidence. Once again reminding me of myself when I'm correcting my work kids on stuff. She is kind but confident in her assessment of what she did wrong in this moment. Celina receiving it well because she handles it this way. Lucy out here crushing it already with zero T.O. training. Just going off instinct and what she would want if she was a newbie still. Once again her and I very alike.
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Oh Tim getting that reminder again. *heart clutch.* Sigh my boy. Aaron offering to turn it off for him. I love that he was gonna have it remind him through out the day. Pre-breakup Tim clearly didn't want to forget. Wanted to make sure he not only knew it was but to make sure to make a big deal of it. That's just an assumption on my part but man would've wanted to do that. it's the way he has 'TOMORROW.' Wanting to make sure he didn't forget such an important day. *screams into a pillow.* Aaron asking if he’s gonna get her anything? I’m sure he had stuff in mind. But yeah bad form indeed…
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Tim’s sweet smile when he finds out what Aaron got her. Knowing how perfect of a gift that would be for her. That sweet knowing smile makes me wanna weep a bit. He knows his girl so well. Lot of sadness attached to the smile though. 'Can I ask why ya’ll split up?' 'No.' LMAO Took it too far Aaron....You're lucky you got that much good sir.
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This scene with Mad Dog hurt my heart for Tim. No matter how wrong he was for what he did I still hate seeing this. This was what I was worried about with him working with Metro. Picking at the wounds he hasn’t even begun to heal about how he left. I knew him making notes on the OP was going to come back and bite him in the ass. Watching all his repercussions is painful to see I have to say. Knowing what we know about Mad Dog later I think that's part of why he goes off on Tim. Doesn't make it any easier to watch though...
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Friggin Love Lucy being a BAMF in this episode. Especially in this moment. When she once again corrects but doesn't crush Celina about her gun. It's the way she guides Celina and has control over every situation they encounter in this ep. Proving herself a worthy teacher and leader. Also she was a better teacher to Celina in one episode than Nolan has been her entire career. Dude is a stinker of a T.O. It shows in how Celina makes basic mistakes Lucy had down pat long before this time in her rookie year.
Too bad Lucy can't finish out her training and Nolan is booted. But that'll never happen nothing sticks to that man. Not since S3 premiere. The rules and repercussions are rubber and he's glue. What doesn't stick to him does to everyone else... Grey should really evaluate his teaching skills. But that'll never happen. But she deserves a better teacher than him.
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From the minute Tim entered the room something seemed very wrong. From the way Mad Dog was just expecting Tim to flog him. Like he wanted Tim to ream him out for how the OP went down. Also how Mad Dog seemed nervous af to see Dr London. I mean look at that man above. He is scared shitless she is there to see him. The way he watches her though out the scene. Especially when she leaves.
Tim's cop gut is going off like crazy when she enters the room. Wondering how the hell she even know about this? He seems to take her answer at face value because honestly its pretty good considering it's a bold faced lie. Tim once again feeling like something is very off but isn't sure why.
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First let me say once again I feel personally attacked by the choice in song once again. lol I couldn't find the song to save my life. The lyrics are *chef kiss.* They're painfully accurate for them both. Think they've been very intentional with their ending music and just in general this season. These lyrics filled me with some hope as well. Jotted down the lyrics since couldn't find the song.
‘When the sun won’t shine and the words don’t rhyme. And there’s mountains you can’t move. Somethings on your mind and it’s been some time-since you felt like you were you. When it all caves in feeling paper thin. And the pain might cut right through.
Oh child, Lift up your head. All this trouble's only gonna last for awhile.’ Yeah we’re gonna be all right oh child. Lift up your head. And the light's gonna find you. When you feel like you ain’t got a friend. And you’re wondering if you ever gonna smile again. Every little thing gonna be ok. I know that you gonna see better days.’ *heart clutch.*
Damn smart of Tim saying happy birthday from Kojo and not him. I’m not crying you are. This was so so sweet. Lucy's reaction to Kojo got me all in my feels. She's so excited to see him. Then that excitement melts into sadness. Because he's an extension of Tim. The way she pet's him and says how much she misses him ugh.
Seems there is a double meaning going on there. We all know despite the hurt how much she misses her person. Tim just standing there only imagining her reaction when Kojo makes his way back. What a way to bring that sweet boy back in. I'm so happy about it. Tim is respecting her space but couldn’t let her bday go without doing something. Had to let her know her was thinking of her still. The fact that it’s happening in the hallway where so many seminal moments have played out for them.... I wanna cry.
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I LOVE that Tim got Kojo to put his little paw in ink for the card. It is so sweet. Their fur baby. He put serious thought and effort into this. This was so well done. Only Melissa and Eric could have chemistry without even seeing each other. This is the first time we've really seen Lucy cry about them. 6x06 she was in complete shock. 6x07 was her processing her thoughts/emotions. She was on the verge of tears but we didn't see her cry. This was first time we've seen her shed tears on screen at least since the break up. Wanna hug her so much. She deserved this card and more. Like a real conversation with him but this is a good start.
She knows this is Tim reaching out without physically doing so. Showing her he still cares. I mean he clearly very much does. You don't put thought and effort in like this if you don't. It's a huge thing for him to do right now. Lucy recognizes the effort in this adorable act. Tim's face after she reads the card. Ripping my damn heart out. The absolute regret splayed all over it. Like it’s finally hitting him what he’s done to her. What he’s lost in the process. He gave up his favorite person. His happy place and just it’s hitting him square in his chest.
Like a freight train that’s run him over. It's the way he shakes his head. Kicking himself. Knowing he hastily threw them away. What a mistake he’s made in his irrational decision making. It’s written all over his beautiful face. He may not fully understand yet why he did it but the regret is evident. Eric be killing me. His face screams all that. Knowing he should’ve been with Lucy for her birthday. Hell probably sharing that bath bomb she brought up with her. Killing me softly. Hurts so good. Damnit writers... This is being handled so well though. So hats off to them. They both needed this moment more than either of them knew.
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Mad dog killing himself....jesus H Christ. Poor Tim the last thing he needs is this. It explains why he was extra nasty to Tim though. Tim saw the flaw in his play and freaked the hell out. Also for Tim to see someone he once trusted with his life compromise themselves. Compromise the safety of their own men. Gut punch. And for what? Money? Power? We won't know till more of this unravels. Whatever it is won't be for a good reason. I know Tim hates himself for his mistakes. But those mistakes always had some form of honor attached to them.
He may not see that but I do. Now the op where he got his men killed no but what he did after was honorable. What he did for Mitch came from a honorable place. I just wonder how seeing Mad Dog doing something so very un-honorable is gonna affect him moving forward...Oh my lord I’m so mad about Dr London not because I liked her. But because I didn’t want it to derail Tim’s therapy in any way. The man needs it. Here’s hoping he continues in s7 with someone better.
Everyone was right she’s a dirty birdy. I was just hoping she wouldn’t be. But my ick and uncomfortable factor went WAY up in this ep with her. I knew it was inevitable. It's not that I didn't want to be wrong about her. It's the fact I didn't want this to hurt Aaron and I definitely I didn’t want her to be dirty for Tim that was it. For his therapy and the progress he's made. I hope this doesn’t affect his therapy journey and he can find someone not compromised in S7.
That promo for next week oh my lord….the hug! The hug! "This doesn't change anything." Then pulls him right in like nothing's changed. I will be living there from now on. Or until next week lol Love the Finale being a 2 parter as well. Phew this is gonna be an intense ending to this season. Gonna be chomping at the bit for S7 once it's done I know it. Like the song stated we're gonna see better days. I truly believe that. We got this my lovely fandom. Thank you for always being so wonderfully receptive of these reviews. Appreciate any likes, comments or reblogs that come my way.
~~~
Side notes-non Chenford
Angela shooting Monica down with Wesley. She's an Epic Queen and I adore her.
Dr London is in alliance with Monica. That's super great….cool cool cool……I have a feeling and D and I discussed this earlier. Reminds us of Armstrong. This feels more like a she's been forced into it a situation. Because its obvious she's good at her job.
But the way she freaked out about the cops being hurt clearly shook her. She looked on the verge of tears in Mad Dog's room. So do I think she's a bad person? Unsure at the moment. Do I think she was once a good person who was manipulated into whatever this alliance is? I do. Be interesting to see how her SL unfolds.
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doumadono · 1 day
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EMERGENCY REQUEST
Hello, can i please put in an emergency request for either hawks or shoto (or even both, if it’s not too much trouble for you, it’s completely ok if it’s just one of them) comforting a fem reader through a breakup? I just got broken up with in the middle of exam season and it’s really taking a toll on me. The stress of it all is starting to make me question my self worth, and I don’t feel like I can even be mad at my ex, since he broke up in order to take care of his own mental health, citing that he didn’t feel like he was in a good place for a relationship right now. All of that plus the general melancholy and I can practically feel myself sliding back into bad habits and mental health issues when I thought I was making some progress. Sorry if this isn’t emergency request material. Thank you!
Hawks & Shoto with a friend after breakup
A/N: I'm truly sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough time, especially during exam season. It's completely understandable to feel overwhelmed and question your self-worth in the midst of all this. Taking care of your own mental health is crucial, and it's okay to prioritize yourself during this challenging period. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you. You're stronger than you think, and you'll get through this ♥
EMERGENCY REQS MASTERLIST
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You find yourself feeling lost and vulnerable after the breakup, struggling to cope with the sudden change in your life.
Hawks arrives at your doorstep after his shift, carrying the book you asked to borrow. Upon opening the door to greet him, he notices the somber look on your face, and the way your shoulders slump with exhaustion. "Hey there," Hawks greets you softly, his eyes filled with concern as he takes in your appearance. "I brought the book you wanted. Mind if I come in?"
You invite him inside, and Hawks settles down beside you on the couch, his wings folding neatly against his back. "You don't seem like yourself," he observes, reaching out to gently brush a strand of hair from your face. "Is everything okay, dove?"
Tears well up in your eyes as you recount the breakup, the weight of it all crashing down on you. "My boyfriend… He broke up with me… I just don't understand why this had to happen now, of all times," you admit, your voice trembling with emotion. "I felt everything was going well!"
Hawks wraps an arm around you, pulling you close as he offers a comforting embrace. "Oh, you poor, little birdie! I know it hurts right now," he claims, his voice a soothing presence in the midst of your turmoil. "But sometimes, you have to release those who don't value your feelings. It doesn't mean you're any less deserving of love or happiness."
Hawks, with his bird-like nature, wraps his wings around you, drawing you close as he massages your shoulders and shares stories about his day of hero work to distract you.
Yet whenever your mind wanders to negative thoughts about the painful event and tears start to fill your eyes, he quickly changes the subject. "Come on, dove, you're too beautiful to have tears on your face. Hush now, birdie. It hurts, but I promise it will get better."
Knowing your apartment almost as well as his own, Keigo heads to the kitchen to whip up something tasty for you, using ingredients from your fridge. Spotting some chicken, he opts to make rice with fried chicken and veggies, convinced that nothing lifts the spirits quite like a tasty piece of chicken.
After the meal, as your emotions begin to waver, you yawn, feeling sleepy.
Hawks lets you rest your head against his shoulder.
As you drift off to sleep in the arms of your friend, you find solace in the warmth of his presence, knowing that even in your darkest moments, you are never truly alone.
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The breakup hits you like a tidal wave, leaving you feeling adrift in a sea of uncertainty and despair.
During a patrol together, Shoto notices the tension in your body and the way your movements seem strained. He senses the heaviness in your heart, even though you try to hide it behind a forced smile. "Is everything alright?" Shoto asks quietly, his gaze gentle yet penetrating as he studies your expression. "You seem… off."
You hesitate at first, unsure whether to confide in him, but the concern in Shoto's eyes is enough to break down your walls. "I just went through a breakup," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper.
Instantly, Shoto's hand finds yours, his touch warm and reassuring as he squeezes it gently. "I'm sorry to hear that," he murmurs, his voice filled with empathy. "Breakups are never easy, I guess. I'm truly sorry to hear you're facing such difficulties," Shoto expresses, his eyes conveying empathy. "While I may not fully grasp the weight of the stress and sadness accompanying a breakup, having never experienced a relationship myself, I want you to remember that after every storm, there's a rainbow," he states, his gaze drifting to some distant point on the horizon.
You nod, unable to find the words to express the depth of your pain.
"It's okay to feel sad," he assures you, his hand reaching out to gently brush away your tears. "But don't let this breakup define you. You're stronger than you realize."
"I just don't know what to do," you admit, your voice trembling with emotion.
Shoto wraps his arm around your shoulders, pulling you close in a protective embrace. "You don't have to have all the answers right now," he claims. "I'll be here for you every step of the way, don't forget that," Todoroki reminds and gently ruffles your hair.
As the patrol continues, Shoto doesn't push you to talk about it further, knowing that sometimes, the comfort of a familiar presence is all you need.
As time passes, you notice the tension starting to ease away.
With Shoto by your side, you begin to feel a sense of peace settle over you, knowing that even in your darkest moments, you're not alone.
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puppsworld · 1 day
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Ghoul headcanons you say🎤
What are your thoughts about Dew and his silly water -> fire change I always love hearing how people interpret it
*cracks my knuckles* ok so, dew, my silly little ghoulie, is certainly one of the ghouls i think about pretty often.
When it comes to elemental transitions, they're often super not great!! <:/. It's a thing that's only really been documented in ghouls brought to the surface, and there's not actual answer as to why it happens. It doesn't completely remake the ghoul's body, but they're definitely changed. For Dew, his gills scarred over, and he lost a large portion of his tail. His voice is kind of permanently raspy, and his skin got a lot thicker and tougher. He gets sick much easier, and is actually rather prone to heatstroke, and much to his annoyance, he has a hard time handling the mood swings that come with the whole new set of powers and hormones from it. It's hard for him to not be in control of his own emotions. They gotta keep the poor guy in the shade when they all go sit out by the lake in the summer. When it comes down to it, he's not really bothered by it, per se. He feels a little?? indifferent. He's still himself, he's just... different now.
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en-geneisaxx · 2 days
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'Please don't say that this is the end of us...'
Pairings: Husband!Hoon x fem!reader
Warnings: swearing (you're gonna be on a rollercoaster of emotions darling) and a suggestive at hoon's part (if u squint 🤭)
Feat. Jay, Heeseung and Jake of Enhypen, Yeji (Sunghoon's sister), Jin Ae (Y/n and Sunghoon's child)
Tagging my moots who wanted to read: @pockettwinzz @diorsyun @rinbowaman @heeslomll @heeslut4life @hoonieshoneymain @sungvrhs
A/n: THE REACTIONS ARE REALLY INTERESTING LMAOOO, I'M CURIOUS IF IT'LL CHANGE WHEN I FINISH THIS FIC (I have no idea when 💀) BUT HOPEFULLY YOU'LL ENJOY MY DEBUT
Not proofread 😅
Likes, reblogs and/or following me will be much appreciated!!
Part 4:
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'...'
The silence was so loud.
But I mean, it was expected. How would you have reacted given that information and the current situation you were in? Even I, too, wouldn't know, despite living it.
'Y/n,' Jay breaks the awkward atmosphere,
'take your damn child before it has a concussion from it falling from my arms, because I feel so fricking weak right now.'
Glady, you took Jin Ae, since she was like a comforter. And, gosh, she was SO 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 CUTE.
Finally, you felt a little light-hearted, but that could only last for long...
'I...damn. I never knew my bro would be like that... He's not the type to do that...'
'Y/n...have you ever suspected that Jake dude? Because right now, he seems like he's the problem.'
'I agree, Jay. Hoon would never hurt you, but it may be he's worried that Jake guy would take you. You're everything to him, Y/n, and he's just as similar to you when it comes to love.'
Hearing the different views of the story did give you an insight of what might be going on in his head.
'Try being Hoon,' suggested Jay, 'because you need to know what's his version of this mess.
Thoughtfully, you scrape out every detail of Jake you could get from your memory, and tried to piece it together to get a clear answer.
Jake was a flirty boy, so his actions could rub off people in the wrong way, especially if it was Hoon.
When he hangs out with you, he would definitely initiate the physical contact, snaking an arm around your waist or putting an arm on your shoulder.
The way he would look at you...it...it was different, now that you're gaining a third person view. Those eyes...it was so dark when it came to you, unlike when they have a charming gleam to others. Could it be lust? The thought made you sick, you hated liking another man when you were happily in love.
Even the nicknames...he would call me things Sunghoon does, like 'Love' or 'Darling'.
Ah, so he wasn't trying to be my best friend,
He took 'bf' to a whole new level.
No wonder why Hoon got so agitated at the thought of him.
But...at the same time, these are just reasonable guesses. I would need to discuss with Sunghoon to actually know the answer.
'So, what's your verdict, 𝐌𝐫𝐬. 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤?'
'I think Jake tried to change it to Mrs. Sim.'
'I thought so too, ngl.'
'Me three!' Yeji chimes in.
'Well, at least now you should have Sunghoon's view.'
And I think we talked for too long that Jin Ae started crying, hungry for milk.
'Shoot, Jin Ae hasn't drank yet.'
'We'll leave you two to be, call us when you're done.' Says the modest Jay, who you really thought deserved to be the older Park.
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'I'll be waiting nearby, ok bro?'
'Cheers Hee, for letting me hang about your place and all that.'
'My job as the eldest, is it not?' He chuckles.
'I know you love Y/n, but right now, you're not really taking your role as the husband, aren't you? Remember, you haven't heard her side of the story, so take it easy.'
'I'll try to, I really will.'
I head on over to the backyard of our house, decorated by my lovely Y/n. She took so much time renovating it into the piece of art it is today. That was what she was good at: creating masterpieces. She's probably best at it because she is one, and if I was to ever be hurtful to her, I would never have meant it; I never deserved such a woman ever, such luck I had to create my family with her as my wife.
I start appreciating everything more, taking a look around and observing the way she places the plant pots, and the strokes she did when painting the fence. There was something else she was better at stroking at, but we'll save that for another time.
When approaching the bench where we would always sit when it was a beautiful sunset, I noticed engravings on it. I thought someone may have vandilised it, until I took a closer look.
'Y/n Park ♥︎ Park Sunghoon'
'He's my forever!!'
'I'm so happy my child was made with him.'
'𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒌 𝑺𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒏, 𝑰 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖.
-𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒀/𝒏.'
All this made him feel ashamed of himself. He deserves to, he was pretty much destroying his sunshine.
He wanted to talk things out, but you weren't there.
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*Buzz*
'Who is it?' Enquires Yeji
'Ooolalaaa, it's Mr. Park Sunghoon.'
'Interesting...'
*Otp* 'What.'
'Where's Y/n?'
'Jin Ae was hungry, so she's breastfeeding her right now.'
(She's such a good mother... Oh, Y/n, if only I could prove my love to you better...)
'Oh...ok.' *Ends call*
...
*Jay and Yeji monster shrieks*
'OMG, OPPA, SHOULDN'T WE TELL H/N?'
'YEAH, WE SHOULD. HURRY, OPEN UP THE GROUP CHAT!!'
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Text
WIP Wednesday
A longish one for a WIP but have been toying with this conversion for a fair old while and it contains one of my most persistent headcanons for Scott.
Set in mine and @sofasurf’s ‘Scott finds a friend he can talk to’ story but you don’t need much of the backstory for this part only that ten years beforehand he saves her in Bereznik but thought he’d failed and made things worse and got her killed.
Is fairly dialogue heavy and that might need some adjustment and it possibly suffers from not including the first half of the conversation but that is less well progressed is is more backstory dependent so I’ll leave it out for today and… <insert more disclaimers and self deprecating blathering here> eh… *throws words*.
If you read it me know what you think? Do you agree?
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“So… we covered my fatal flaw and I think we’ve established I would be a very tragic but ultimately tedious Greek hero. Your turn… what do you think yours might be?”
“Probably the same as yours.”
“Uh uh no, that’s cheating, you don’t get to steal mine. Pick your own. Or… I guess you could pick Dare but I warn you I have some pretty evil ideas for those.”
He spun the question card between his finger and thumb for a few moments then placed it down carefully and picked up the cafetière and topped up their coffee cups in a transparent effect to buy time. Estera was surprised to see him absent-mindedly adding a lump of sugar into his. Scott never had sugar! She was about to question this deviation but he suddenly spoke up:
“Alright I’ll tell you but you have to promise not to freak out.”
“Why would I freak out?”
“Because I’m not good at explaining these things and it might sound like something it isn’t. But it’s not that. It’s just… people tend to panic.”
“At this rate you’re more likely to freak me out with the disclaimers, Blue. But sure, I promise.”
He emitted a short sharp laugh and then downed half his cup of coffee, his eyebrows twisting comically as he registered it tasting sweeter than usual.
“I live in the here and now.”
Not what she was expecting. Estera did her best to maintain a neutral expression so as to not give him reason to think she wouldn’t keep her promise.
“Ok. Tell me why you think that is a flaw.”
His lips twitched silently as he appeared to be about to speak then caught himself three or four times before:
“I mean I don’t have a very clear concept of anything beyond now. I don’t imagine my future like most people seem to… like my brothers do.”
She went to speak but held back sensing there was more.
“I’ve never really pictured myself as old, for example. Or with kids… I do love kids, you probably figured that out by now… but I figure I had my shot at parenting with Alan and Gordon and… well they turned out ok I guess so… you know… I did my bit there.”
“I think you’d be a be a great father.”
“Oh I don’t doubt it! Sorry that sounds weirdly big headed… um… I mean I think it would come naturally to me but I just can’t… see it? I don’t think I’m destined to see it.”
“Why not?”
“Dunno. Just always had the feeling I wasn’t here for the long haul? Live fast die young, you know? Had a bit of a hedonistic streak in my late teens which, uh, the less said about that the better I think. But then after… when I thought you…”
He paused and downed the rest of the cup and returned it to the saucer with a clatter than made them both flinch
“Sorry! Uh, when I thought you were dead, that I’d failed you by storming into a situation like the arrogant flyboy I was” he held up a hand to forestall her objection “And I still didn’t die out there against all the odds… Well, I figured that whatever time I had left I had to use it well. I wanted to make up for failing you by helping as many people, doing as much good as I could. Actually thought about training as a paramedic but then Dad came up with the Big International Rescue Idea and everything suddenly made sense.”
Estera was struggling to keep the promise about not freaking out.
“Are you saying you’re only planning to be here as long as you are useful?”
“No! No, see, that’s not what I mean. I would never… I have no desire to, stop. That’s not what it is. I know I’m needed. I can do good. I want to be here. I’ve not got a death wish, whatever Virgil yells at me down the comm.”
Estera suddenly had a vivid recollection of the voice in the cave, before Scott had cut him off. At the time she’d thought the almost-growl she heard over the comm had betrayed barely-contained irritation and had wondered a little at the professionalism of that but now she’d met Virgil… now she really thought about it she wondered if in fact the tension in his voice had been fear.
“So why would you say that is your fatal flaw?”
“I guess maybe it means when I have a decision to make in the moment I only make it based on that moment. Can I make a difference or not? Can I save them or not? I believe my brothers have other considerations, dreams they instinctively hold on to, which complicate those decisions.”
“I see.”
She sipped her own coffee and watched him slump into his chair.
“You think I’m crazy don’t you?”
“No.”
“But…?”
“But… nothing. I can see how your logic works and it matches what I’ve seen of your personality and your actions.”
“Mmmmm and you’ve told me off for it before.”
“I have.”
She nudged the last scone in his direction and then cleared her throat.
“The part I don’t agree with is that not being able to see past the short term means you won’t have… or don’t deserve a long term. I wonder if you’ve been telling yourself a lie all these years because you were afraid of not being able to predict every outcome of your actions. So you told yourself that if you don’t see it it doesn’t exist so it doesn’t matter.”
He frowned, but didn’t disagree.
“What future do you see for your brothers?”
He snorted “Oh, Virgil will have about twelve children if he has any say in it.” His shoulders relaxed as he smiled fondly “Gordon too would love a family I am sure of that. John… I think when space gets too much for him, academia will call. Alan… I don’t know yet. He’s a little too much like me” Scott’s jaw twitched slightly “but I’m trying to encourage his other interests, he likes racing cars and his gaming stuff. And he’s smarter than any of us so he could be anything he wanted. Maybe he’ll make incredible discoveries or be an explorer.” He chuckled affectionately “Or he’ll go entirely rogue and be world president or something.”
“I’ll remember to stay on his good side then!”
“Probably for the best.”
Scott chuckled and the smile remained on his face but seemed to leave his eyes. He had stopped eating the scone but was rapidly turning it into a pile of jammy crumbs. Estera reached over and took hold of one of his sticky hands, resisting the urge to pull out a wet wipe to deal with it.
“Ok how about this… can you imagine yourself watching them achieve these dreams and cheering them on? Being crazy uncle Scott who allows the kids to do all the dangerous stunts their parents would ground them for… buying John’s incomprehensible books to display in your bookcase and pretend you totally read and understood, and cheering Alan on as he’s inaugurated?”
The genuine smile crept back on to his face. “Yeah.”
“Hold on to that then. Next time you’re out. As a reason to stay. Until you find your own.”
He looked up at her in surprise and appeared about to say something when he was thrown nearly off his chair by a small human cannonball slamming into his side.
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Hello, I hope I can ask you this. I was exploring the Jp side of YouTube and watching review and discussion videos on MHA. I found a couple of popular videos on the potential future relationships of all the characters, and as expected, they were all the default m/f pairs. But the comments took me by surprise. Most of them were about “greentea,” obviously, but I could also see comments on very odd pairs like Eri and Deku, Mahoro and Bakugo, and even Eri and Mirio quite frequently! (Even typing it out is making me cringe)😭😭😭 However, I also saw a couple of comments on Bakugo and Deku, but very few, probably 1 out of 100. I’m really curious about how bkdk is perceived by the general Japanese audience, is it even taken seriously? Maybe I just couldn’t find any review videos that even considered them as a pair, but the ones I saw were kinda popular too; they had plenty of views. So yeah, I’d love to know your thoughts on this, again I hope this is ok to ask🥹
Also I just discovered you and I love all your content!😭 I’ve exhausted them haha, thank you so much for your work! Lots of love! 🩷🩷🩷
First off, I want to mention that I have a hitherto unspoken rule to not comment on ships other than bkdk. I know you are asking about bkdk specifically, but the framework of the question brings other things into the discussion, so I want to say this clearly to discourage follow-up questions from others which may be angled toward different ships or ship discourse in general. Bkdk is what I’m here for, so bkdk is what I’m going to talk about.
In regards to your actual question, I’m gonna answer by giving you some information about how fandom works in Japan.
Bkdk is the most popular mha ship in Japan in terms of fanworks, by a wide margin.
Japanese fandom is, compared to English-speaking fandom, heavily centered on fanart. Japan has frequent doujinshi (independently published comic) events where dozens or even hundreds of artists come to distribute their work, and many of these have been going on for decades. It is not hyperbole to say that some kind of doujinshi event, showcasing brand new work, is going on in at least one major city in Japan every single month, and these events are attended by hundreds and sometimes thousands of people. Sometimes there are two or more events in a single month.
To be clear, doujinshi are not only fanworks, which is why I specified “independently published comic.” Lots of doujin are original works, and many now well-known mangaka got their start, gained connections, and built their early fanbase through participating in doujin circles (collaborative groups of artists who create work under the same independent label). My point is that visual art and comics are so huge in Japan it is hard to overstate their prominence in the culture as a whole, let alone fandom culture.
So, fanart and doujin are huge, and among fans who make fanart/doujin, bkdk is wildly popular.
The thing you have to ask yourself is, does fanwork represent general readership? Drawing fanart is the most common way to show your love for a series in Japan, but that definitely doesn’t mean every reader is drawing fanart. In my opinion, fanfic is prominent in USA-centered fandom, but obviously only a fraction of the people who enjoy a series are going to write fanfic for it.
I don’t think we can really quantify the opinions of general readership this way. I mean, when you scroll through the comment section of the same kind of clickbaity, hot-topic videos about anime/manga that English-speaking audiences watch, do you feel like those comments accurately reflects what most people think? I know I don’t. There is always going to be a selection bias, because “people who comment on youtube videos” also only represent a fraction of “people who read mha.”
Japanese fandom is significantly more segmented and considerate of differing tastes than English-speaking fandom.
Japanese fandom is pretty strict with its rules of engagement. Personal privacy and respect for others are very important factors. Artists don’t want to be recognized at their day-job for their R18 doujin. Shippers don’t want their comments or cutesy fanart to be algorithmically-fed to users who have no interest in it. This is seen as polite and correct; it is respectful of the fact that people have different tastes, and not everyone will share yours.
See, Japanese fandom recognizes that the internet constitutes public view.
So fan language is coded: words are spelled slightly differently; characters, events, or ships get unique euphemistic nicknames; words or names are replaced with emojis. All of this is to prevent their stuff from being seen by someone just casually searching “Bakugou.”
You have to be in the know to know how to find stuff. You have to actively search for like-minded fans and curate your space, expanding your circle typically through word of mouth. And you have to abide by the rules, or else everyone is going to think you’re an overbearing jerk and not wanna be around you.
If you are just using google translate on social media posts or videos visibly labeled under the series title, you aren’t going to find much in regards to active shipping. Frankly, you aren’t going to see the whole scope of Japanese bkdk fan activity in any one place using any one method. This is how Japanese fandom is designed, and people work pretty hard to keep it that way.
Japanese fandom does not generally engage from the perspective that their desires will be validated by canon.
This is one of the biggest differences. In English-speaking fandom, you see people argue left and right about what’s going to be canon, who’s the endgame ship, and so on. People are very preoccupied by the idea that their ship has to be “validated,” and this validation comes from the notion that canon will reflect their personal preferences and fulfill their hopes for how the story will go.
This is just not the atmosphere in the vast majority of Japanese fan spaces. Remember how I said that jpn fandom recognizes that people have different tastes? This means people also tend to think that it is rather arrogant and demanding to think that your wishes are the only ones that should come true. It is also disrespectful of the mangaka’s artistic vision and hard-work to expect them to disregard their own desires to satisfy you personally.
So, when you ask, “are bkdk even taken seriously?” the question is built upon the idea that people who enjoy the series expect an outcome catered to their tastes.
As you said, most of the comments were for heterosexual pairings, which are the most obvious to predict considering the endings of other popular series published in Weekly Shonen Jump. Furthermore, Yashahime—sequel anime to shounen manga Inuyasha—confirmed that a character roughly ten years of age later grew up and had children with a (slowly-aging but adult) supernatural being who served as her caretaker and protector.
Maybe the video commenters were reflecting personal interest in those ships, or maybe they were just spit-balling off stuff they'd seen before. I can tell you I haven't really seen fanart for any of that, but I don't go looking for it, and m/f ship spaces will be separate from m/m ship spaces.
Still, it is important to remember that audience expectation is not directly correlated to outcome. When the online Shonen Jump+ manga Blue Flag was first published, the vast majority of readers did not expect that one of the characters in the love triangle would be gay. Hell, they expected it so little that the reveal went viral!
Audience expectation may be interesting to think about, but it is not a prediction method.
To sum it up:
Bkdk is extremely popular, but jpn fandom is very private and structured differently than English-speaking fandom.
Any metric of measurement for reader opinion will have its flaws, and audience expectation is not a foolproof way to gauge real outcome.
Personally, I think we should all take a cue from jpn fandom and just have fun.
I hope that answers your question and gives you some context, anon. Thank you for the kind comments on my work, I really appreciate it. <3
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jenniferjareauwife · 2 days
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Hi! Can you do a jj x reader with kids and someone get overwhelmed? Maybe like trip to the park and it’s kinda stressful with a toddler and baby?
Outnumbered
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pairing: jennifer jareau x fem reader
category: fluff, hurt/comfort
warnings: none
word count: 698
summary: you get overwhelmed at the park with your two kids
"JJ where did Henry go?" I asked as I gave Michael his pacifier. This was the first time we were going to the park as a family of 4 and I was stressed out of my mind, I didn't understand how JJ was keeping a calm facade.
"He's on the swings."
"Oh."
"Baby you need to calm down." She said with a small laugh. "He's not gonna run away and no one is gonna take him. I promise." I nodded and smiled as Michael squeezed my finger.
"Baby, look! He just squeezed my finger." JJ laughed and moved closer to me, watching as Michael giggled and squeezed my finger.
"He loves you."
"He should love me. I'm great." I looked up and saw that Henry wasn't on the swings anymore. "Jayje where did Henry go?"
"Um...he's on the slide." As soon as JJ said that Michael started crying. My heart beat faster and I froze. If I paid attention to Michael and calmed him down then I would lose sight of Henry but if I kept watching Henry then Michael would keep screaming and crying. "Honey?"
"What?" I turned to face her, my face tense with anxiety.
"Can you take a few breaths for me?"
"I don't need to take a few breaths I need to keep track of Henry and take care of Michael all at the same time-"
"Baby breathe."
"I am breathing I just need to-"
"Hey. Look at me." Her voice was a bit more stern now. I turned to look at her with a frown, rubbing Michael's tiny belly. "Do you need to go to the car to take a break?"
"No I'm fine." She raised her brows, knowing I was lying. "Ok fine I...I need a break but I don't need to go to the car."
"Give me Michael." I rolled his stroller over to her. "Now can you keep an eye on Henry?" I nodded. I could do that. I could definitely do that. He was still on the slide but this time he was going to the swings again. He had a big smile on his face as he ran around.
"He's adorable." I whispered.
"He is, isn't he?" JJ looked up at me after she got the pacifier into Michael's mouth. "It's weird to think we used to be that little."
"Mhm."
"How are you feeling?"
"A bit better."
"It's ok to feel that way, you know? Having two kids can be overwhelming at times." I nodded in agreement.
"I just wish it didn't show in public." She sighed and nodded.
"Yeah but you can't turn it off, you know?"
"When it was just Henry it was easier cause we outnumbered him." I pointed out. "But now there's two and we have to divide our attention between both of them. What happened when they're older and they come up with some diabolical plan and we don't have the ability to stop it?" JJ laughed loudly.
"We're two FBI Agents. I'm pretty sure we'll have the ability to stop it." I nodded and leaned against her. "If you ever just need to take a breather, let me know. I'll be here for you, ok?"
"Ok. Thanks. That means a lot."
"Of course."
"Look, Henry's coming back."
"Mama!" He jumped onto my lap and wrapped his arms around my neck, getting himself comfortable.
"Hey buddy." I kissed the side of his face a few times. "Did you have fun?"
"Yeah! Did you see how high I was going on the swings?"
"I did, I thought you were gonna touch the moon!" He giggled as I started to tickle his sides.
"I'm hungry."
"Well what do you want for lunch?" I asked him. I could see JJ smiling at me out of the corner of my eye.
"Ice cream!"
"Buddy we can't have ice cream for lunch. But we can have ice cream after lunch, how does that sound?"
"Good!" I laughed and picked him up, holding him against my side as we walked back to the car. JJ was pushing Michael's stroller and I leaned over, giving her a kiss on the cheek.
"Thank you." I told her sincerely.
"Anytime love."
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Hi, I know it's been a while but it's allo (autistic? unsure what tag to use) anon here again. I just wanted to say congratulations on the project! I showed it to my girlfriend and she was really happy, when it comes out we will definitely read it together. I am proud to see you doing new and exciting things, and I wish you nothing but the best in your future endeavors! You're doing amazing already and I look forward to seeing you continue on whatever path you want to take with your creative work :)
Sorry I didn't message again sooner, things in real life have been... a lot. I still try to check this blog when I can. Your art is still adorable, and I also wanted to say thank you for your comics about fandom and the stuff that people say to aro/ace people. As someone who is very invested in media analysis(TM) and fandoms, I have noticed some behaviour that is really weird and uncomfortable, and it's good to see other people speaking out about it.
Also, not to decenter your experience, but the comic about labels really hit home for me. When I first got diagnosed it explained so much about my struggles and why I felt the way I did. It was groundbreaking to understand that I wasn't just a broken person or full of character flaws, but that things like sensory issues were just part of being who I am. I don't know if you meant it this way, but I really love the yellow colour of the thought bubbles and the little flowers. I know some people say it's pathologizing or too restrictive to cling to labels so much, but it really is a relief to be given something that helps you understand yourself and feel so much less alone. I am glad you were able to find your identity and community. It's so cool that now you get to make those posts, and probably reach others!
I just wanted to pop in again and say I love your stuff, and it's so cool to see other people loving and engaging with it too. I hope you have a wonderful day/night, passe une bonne journée/nuit <3
P. S. I hope that's how you say it, I'm using google translate.
Heyyyy!!^^ Thank you so much for reaching out again and for all the encouragement and support! I hope you and your girlfriend are doing OK^^ And please don't apologize for not reaching out for a while, I'm happy whenever you do at all but it's very fair to have a lot going on otherwise! If anything I hope things are a bit easier now, so to speak.
Also don't worry about decentering my experience by sharing yours when you relate! I'm a big believer in intersectional discussion, I think people from marginalised groups could benefit a great deal from standing together to defend common interests, and if we can relate to each other's experiences in some way even just a little, although we know and acknowledge they're all different, I'm sure we can go a long way. So I sincerely appreciate you sharing, honestly!! (I'm also really grateful you liked the way I graphically conveyed it, that is a challenge in and of itself^^)
Again, thank you so much for all the positive feedback and support, and thanks for taking the time to add some French in as well, very kind of you^^
Hope you have a great day ahead!
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skunkes · 4 months
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