#of me and I don't even have track or awareness of them anymore.. what an odd concept..' etc. not EXACTLY like that ghbj..you know what I me
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no, actually, where is the whimsy?
my ex had a best friend named larry who asked me once: what do you think comes after irony?
we were at the bar where larry worked. it was a quiet night, and he'd hopped over to sit with us on the patron side. i swirled the lemon around my limoncello martini.
earnest positivity, i said, while my ex said, art self-destructs.
i stared at my ex. he stared at me.
his argument was the cinemasins argument: look how bad media is becoming! look at the loopholes and the dumb shit!
it was roughly 2011. galaxy print was still in. at the time, i had a favorite shirt that was a wolf howling at the moon. it got ripped in half in the wash and i honestly still mourn it. i dressed like effie stonem, because everyone did. and irony was the name of the thing. men liked MLP "ironically." the internet liked the kind of crass, "anti-mainstream" vibes of things like fuck romance, touch my butt and buy me pizza. we put cats in sunglasses everywhere, which was because we only liked things in irony.
and media had the same vibe in it: anti-hero white men would be "hard to love" and then storm off the scene. nobody was just earnestly trying to save the world: they were jaded, angry, unoriginal. mad you even asked them to try to help.
my ex ends up not being wrong. cinemasins becomes super popular. a lot of people start viewing media with this lens that is the cruelest, most jaded depiction. it's wrong for your character to have unexplained powers, even if the entire movie is about how strange it is she has unexplained powers - that is still considered a "loophole." characters make thoughtless, panicked choices? loophole. characters are actually kind people, despite hardship? loophole. features a woman doing literally anything without assistance? loophole. movies become hyper-aware of scrutiny, and now irony rules the media.
which means you go to a movie, and the character has to turn to the screen and say "beats me!!" or one of the side characters has to have some kind of quip like "are you seriously telling me that you think this is normal?" because nothing can happen in earnest. like a sitcom laugh track, we now anticipate the fourth-wall break: the moment that the media acknowledges it is telling a story. the media has to apologize for itself, or else someone like my ex rolls their eyes.
but here's the thing: i wasn't wrong either.
the difference might be that i am (and always have been) so soft-hearted that any crack in the light of this world will spear me into the ground. and i was the poet in the relationship. (he thought that was the same thing as being naïve and stupid). i was making things daily. i knew how all of us artists are driven by some strange desire to evolve. he notably liked to critique art, not to create it.
so yes, i've made things that are bitter and angry and even ironic. i've made long, sharp poems with all capital letters, and i've made poems about how the silence stretches out like a song. someone wrote once that we will spend our whole lives just circling the place we grew up. i think it's more that we spend our whole lives trying to remake a home. i think it's that as we age, it becomes less exciting to build the castle on the beach - we become aware of erosion, of windforce. we realize what we really want is to come home to our dog, castle or not.
and while art in the foreground is mired in white male violence and irony, and aggression, and not taking anything seriously - i don't think that's true of all art. i think more and more artists are leaning in to the things we love. the world has changed so much. they have taken so many things from us. the only thing we have left is love. at the bottom of the moving box - all we get is the faint sense that we have to appreciate what little we've got. i can't enjoy this stuff ironically anymore: what room do i have for irony? if it makes me happy, that is an amazing thing. there are so few happy places left for me. i want to be happy because of how leaves shiver beside each other like nestling birds. i want to be happy because of the color pink, and how magenta doesn't exist. i have spent so much of this life suffering, i have earned my right to a gentle ending. if nothing matters, i get to assign meaning to the nothing. i get to create meaning. i am an artist first and foremost, which means creation is my thing.
where is the whimsy? wherever i fucking put it. because if this is my last fucking chance to do any good in this world - i want to do it earnestly. i want to write things that make you happy. that make people feel heard and seen. what comes after irony has to be positivity.
it was close to my 21st birthday. in 7 years, i would end up writing a book about this relationship, which is hopefully coming out somewhere around May 2024. i come back to this bar scene in my memories a lot. i keep thinking of how pale my ex was. the look that crossed his face. how i looked back at him. how for a moment, both of us couldn't recognize the other person. like the gulf between us was a suddenly wide and cavernous thing. like we were alien to each other. he never took my opinion seriously, and he always seemed surprised whenever his manic-pixie-dream-girl ever broke free of the plot. like in the whole time we were together, i wasn't human enough.
this knowledge: where he said nothing comes after, my only instinct was what comes after is love.
#spilled ink#writeblr#this is a real story lol#looking back i liked larry as a person SO much more than my ex hollyyyyy shitttt#compulsory heterosexuality will do you DIRTY#edit to correct effies name my apologies to effie and effies family
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It's a 2-man Con
Listen, I think I know a thing.
When Aziraphale comes back from talking to the Metatron and is telling Crowley about being an angel, we've all heard the theory that he's speaking code, trying to ask for help. The more I look at that scene, the more that theory tracks.
Maybe less well-known is the theory that Crowley didn't miss a damn thing, he's answering in his own code. And again, the more I look at that scene, the more this also tracks.
(When my husband, annoyingly observant beloved partner that he is, saw the second season for the first time, he said, "That whole thing was a show for the Metatron. They have a plan. Crowley slipped something to Aziraphale when he kissed him." And I said, "Nah." But now I think he's right, and damn if he isn't smug.)
I'm gonna try to break down what I think they're saying here, because it takes just a hot minute to piece it together. I've been thinking this over for a couple of months now. I think I have most of it. I just don't know when Crowley puts whatever he's handing to Aziraphale in his own mouth. I need more eagle-y eyes, it seems.
First, Aziraphale comes back from his talk. He's pensive as he crosses the road, and anxious when he starts talking, and mouths "I need help!" as he's talking. He's acting like he does when he lies to the other angels, and once it's seen "I need help!" is pretty clear.
He does the whole thing about telling Crowley he could appoint him as an angel, like old times, but even nicer. It's all very uptight and not positive at all. My interpretation? "The Metatron is here, I think he knows we're up to something, we have to go to Heaven right now and put things right before he really does something awful to one or both of us. The time to spring the plan is NOW."
Crowley stares at him. At first it seems like he's staring in disbelief, but if you really look at his face, he's listening, hard, and interpreting as fast as he can:
He asks Aziraphale if he told the Metatron where he could stick it, then. My interpretation? "The plan has changed. I can't go with you to Heaven. You'll have to go alone."
Then Crowley starts his confession -- "We've spent our existence pretending we aren't."
Aziraphale looks at him -- not with shock, or surprise, or love, or hope, but with a "Why are you doing this now?" face. Not "Why did you wait til now to tell me, you love me, oh, I love you too!" But "Why are you telling me SOMETHING I ALREADY KNOW while our ENEMY IS LISTENING??" :
He's confused, but also listening and interpreting. What I'm hearing/seeing: I don't think this is a love confession from our demon. I think they are both well aware they love one another. They can't say it in so many words, and it's a secret from Heaven and Hell, but it's not a secret between them. I'm hearing Crowley set the scene. "The Metatron either wants us together in Heaven under control, or separated. I have things I have to do here or the plan won't work, so we'll have to separate. We need to make it look good. I do love you."
I don't think Aziraphale likes this change of plan. And Crowley can't detail why the plan has changed, not with the Metatron listening. So Aziraphale insists, come with me. The plan we had will work. Do it my way. Crowley says, "You can't leave this book shop." It's easy to interpret that as "You can't leave me," but I don't think it's that. He's saying something about the book shop being safe, or even that he can't leave without whatever they've hidden in the book shop. (I THINK THEY HID SOMETHING IN THE BOOK SHOP!) Aziraphale says, "Nothing lasts forever." I hear him saying the book shop is no longer safe, and they have to move/take whatever they've hidden and they can't speak freely there anymore.
Crowley replies, "No I suppose it doesn't. Good luck." He's gotten that much, but he is still set on his "We need to fake a break up because I can't go with you."
Aziraphale still doesn't like that. "Come back! I need you!" He's scared. Whatever he has to do in Heaven is big, and scary, and he needs and wants Crowley with him. He does not want to go into the mouth of danger alone.
This is when we get, "No nightingales." What I'm hearing? ESPECIALLY since if you listen, you can hear a LARK sing as Crowley goes out the door? It's the line from Romeo and Juliet, by Shakespeare, whose plays they both enjoy, though Crowley prefers the funny ones. "It's too late, that's a lark singing the dawn, not a nightingale singing to the night, we have to part. Our happy ending isn't yet."
Then the kiss. I do not believe this is their first kiss. I don't believe they've allowed themselves many, maybe not even more than one, but I do think they've kissed before. I'm not sure when, but I suspect 1941. (Season 3, come ON!!)
And when they part, Aziraphale stops himself from saying "I love you," and instead says, "I forgive you." I'm hearing so many things in that "I forgive you." I forgive you for leaving me on my own, I forgive you for hurting my feelings like this, I forgive you for changing the plan without telling me, I forgive you because you are forgivable whatever anyone else says, I forgive you because that's what I said when we split up at the bandstand and everything was okay in the end and I hope hope hope that everything will be okay in the end this time too.
Crowley says, "Don't bother." I'm hearing, "yeah, I hope it's all okay, too. Wish me fuckin luck. My part will be hard, too."
And as Crowley leaves, Aziraphale mouths, "No." And we hear a lark sing. A lark, singing to the dawn, and so fair Romeo must away.
Just because the break up is a ruse, doesn't mean it doesn't hurt and isn't hard. It has to look real, and so it's going to feel real, too. Ouch. :'(
And then Aziraphale touches his lips. Not once, but twice. My bad, he only touches his lips once. The first long second is pure emotion. "Why now, I hate this, I want that so badly and I can't have it."
After that, though --
After he pulls himself together a bit, he has a bulge in his cheek. He shifts his jaw to move whatever he has in his mouth to his lips, and then his first two fingers go stiff for a moment as he palms something right before he takes his hand away.
And then, this.
Edit to add: someone on Facebook asked me why a kiss to pass whatever Crowley gave to Aziraphale, why not palm it or drop it in his pocket?
My answers: 1. The kiss is a message. "We're still good, I still love you, I still want this." 2. The item is too important to be dropped in a pocket and hopefully found later. 3. The Metatron is paying WAY too close attention, and will definitely see them touch hands. Seeing a kiss and the angel rejecting the demon, though? Well, the demon forced that kiss on him, the angel didn't want it. Clearly the demon thinks this relationship is different than it is. It's a bigger gesture that sells the ruse. 4. Houdini's wife used to pass him the keys to his cuffs with a kiss before the show. This is a message that magic-loving Aziraphale WILL understand: here are the keys to your cuffs, sneaked to you by your beloved in plain sight.
That's it. That's what I got so far. I still have questions.
What did Crowley pass to Aziraphale? What's the plan? Why did it change? What does Crowley need to do that he can't go to Heaven again?
#good omens#good omens 2#good omens meta#aziracrow#final fifteen#ineffable divorce#good omens fan theory#2 man con#they have a plan#they played the metatron and we fell for it#the kiss
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i absolutely love your professor ghost and love series <333. i’m curious what you think will be the event that pushes them over the edge of wistful pining to an actual relationship🫣🫣🫣it would have to require an extreme event or something bc old man simon is way too deep in his fantasies to actually do anything about them😐😐😐
It's a the way there isn't a single thing. There's no change, there's no rejection, there's a consistency that drives Ghost mad. Love is as she always is, and he can't stand it anymore. She interrupts his lecture, she presses close and smiles at him, she smells like rosehip and honey and her lips are so soft looking up close. But she keeps leaving, winding him up and leaving him. It's a dance he can't keep up with, one that has born a new school of philosophy and pain. Love gathers her papers and turns to leave with a smile and quiet 'thank you' and Ghost?
Ghost grabs Love by the back of the neck, catching her tight before she can make her escape. The motion of it jolts her stopping her in her tracks. There's only so much flirting a man can stomach before he starts getting agitated. He doesn't want to scare her, not badly anyway, he just wants her to stop playing with him. He's past delusional, he's going insane. He's imagining a future he shouldn't be, swiping her things, waiting for her just to be disappointed. He's writing, loving to the point of creation, to the point of philosophy.
The absolute devotion in her eyes, the soft flutter of her lashes when he reels her back in and cages her against his chest, God. He pulls her hair tight in his fist, his cock twitching as she settles her hands on his chest. He should dismiss class early, but he doubts anyone would clear out of the lecture hall fast enough for him to bend her over the lectern. Ghost settles on his previous plan of asking Love what her fucking problem is.
"You 'avin' fun?" He asks, his voice a low growl. Love hums, spreads her fingers wide over his pecs, before curling them in the fabric of his button down.
"Be having more with your hand around my throat." She tells him, still flirting, and still getting a reaction from him. Ghost tightens his grip, tugs her head back, and watches her lips part around a sigh.
Does she even know every vulnerability that she displays? The bared throat, clear path to major organs, a lack of awareness that teeters on trusting. God, she trusts him.
The knowledge licks at him like holding his hand too close to an open flame. It tightens in his chest, makes his stomach churn. What has he done to earn that? What can he do to make her take it back, to make her take all of it back? Every touch, every spare glance, every word out of her mouth. She could take it all back and he'd still be here, he'd still have seen her and wanted her, wanted to know her. He'd still have seen her name on emails and known there was something missing from him. He'd still have wallowed in his misery, in a world- a life- without her.
"Why're ya doin' this to me?" He feels it fall out of him, pleading, the question he never could come up with an answer to, even with every degree of philosophy he could scrounge up.
"Because it feels right," She murmurs, "doesn't it?"
"No." Ghost insists. Love blinks, her eyes sliding over him, a frown tugging at the corners of her lips.
"You don't want me?"
There's such a vulnerability, a disbelief, in her voice that he wants to scream: that's not it. That's not it. He'd be lying with just a twitch of a nod, and lying has never suited Ghost, withholding sure, but not lying. The way she looks at him tugs bile up his throat, makes the pain in his chest clench that much tighter.
The universe has only ever taken from him. No good deed has ever gone unpunished in Ghost's life. He's built his camp on sorrow and rage, but it bites out of him to tell her:
"I've never wanted anythin' else."
#simon ghost riley#x oc#cod x oc#ghost mw2#simon riley#simon riley x oc#simon ghost riley x oc#ghost x oc#professor au#professor!ghost#oc: love
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|| Crush (Gojo Satoru X Reader) ||
(Reposted from my old blog which I don't have access to anymore (thanks Tumblr), if you liked it reblogs or likes would be appreciated to get me back on track since I've lost all my followers and half my work :(
Short one shot, in which Gojo finds out reader has a crush on him. TW: mentions of Alcohol and smoking
"I mean, if you had to choose one of them?" Your hands slipped further on the table, your palm grazing the wood while you fixed your gaze on Shoko's uninterested eyes.
"No," She said calmly.
"But if you really, really had to?" Her eyes darted across the room, her mind in dire need of a change in conversation topic.
"If I really - really, had to," She sighs, "I guess I'd pick Satoru."
Your heart dropped at the mention of his name. I knew it!
"But really," She continued, "I think he makes a horrible team with anyone, it doesn't matter how strong you are if you can't do that, y'know? But those six-eyes are no joke, so if I had to, I guess -" Your confused expression stopped her from talking further.
"Shoko, I meant if you had to pick one to - uh, you know, "
All the confidence you mustered to bring up the topic in the first place had vanished, you slid back into the chair, watching Shoko's face shrink with disgust. "No."
The drink before you emptied quickly as silence took over the room, each time you wanted to say something you felt your throat tense as the drunk haze had begun to clear. Perhaps it really was a bad idea to talk about this.
"I have a feeling this isn't really about me, is it?" She reached to open another canned sake. "I would like to say that you can tell me anything, but I have a feeling I wouldn't want to hear this," She took a long sip, "But I'll play along. Who'd you choose?" She was far too familiar with your mannerisms, knowing you would never admit to it any other way.
For a few months now, she had been brushing off her suspicions as misinterpretations.
"I - I would, hm, maybe, Satoru?" Regret settled deeper in your throat, but you knew it was too late to make up some excuse to leave this conversation. "It's not like I'd do anything about it, you know?" Shoko's eyes widened as you spoke, she tried to utter a few protest words, her hands are signaling you to stop talking.
You felt your face turn red, "I mean, It's just a crush, nothing to be too flustered about, right? What do those last, like a few months at most? Just don't look at those beautiful blue eyes, and that snowy white hair… It'll go away on its own!" Aware that it's too late, Shoko had buried her face in her palms. That's it, the thought passed through your brain, She will never respect me again.
"It really is nothing to be flustered about. Quite understandable - really." A familiar voice came from behind, you could hear the grin in his tone. You desperately stared at Shoko, your eyes begging her to say anything - anything to rescue you from the embarrassment.
Shoko cleared her throat, "It is, very understandable! That you have a crush on this guy, who doesn't even attend Jujutsu High!" Ah, it could have been such a good save.
"Oh yes!" Gojo laughed, kneeling next to your chair with his hand placed firmly on your shoulder, "Such a shame, but it's not like you have to see his beautiful blue eyes and snowy white hair every day," He failed to hold back his laugh, "I'm sure it'll go away on its own."
You focused your eyes on the table - Twelve cans of sake, only seven open. Gojo's hand on your shoulder. Oh god. Ashtray, still smoking. Salty chip packets - 2,3 … no 4, one has fallen off the table. Gojo's hand makes its way to your lower back. How's Kyoto this time of year?
"There's nothing to be shy about." His whisper catches you off guard, his face so close to yours you were sure he could smell the alcohol coming off of each of your heavy breaths. You find the strength to stand up, your chair screeching on the floor. Gojo almost lost his balance.
"It's getting late, Shoko, thank you for the - actually, let's never drink again. I'll see you tomorrow."
You walked the dark corridor, unable to focus on anything other keeping yourself balanced after so many drinks, keeping the thoughts on solving your predicament for a more sober time.
A hand brushed your wrist before gripping it tightly and pulling you in its direction. Even in the dark, you could see the blue of his eyes.
"Listen, I really meant what I said." You uttered, watching his smirk widen. "No smart comebacks now!" You felt your chest heat up, the shame had turned to anger. People have feelings, why does it have to be a joke? His hand loosened its grip on yours.
"We're not children anymore Satoru, It's a crush. It'll be gone just as fast as it came. You don't have to joke about it, just forget it."
Never in his life had he let you finish so many sentences without a snarky remark. You tried to read his face, but the shadows covered his expression.
"Say it again." You felt his body come closer to yours, his lips almost touching yours, you didn't notice yourself stumbling backward until the wood boards on the nearest wall had pressed to your back.
"Say what again?"
"Say you have a crush on me," His voice lower than usual.
Fine, if it's going to be a joke, I guess it's better to go with it. "I have a crush on you, Satoru Gojo." As you tried to rid yourself of your compromising position his hand grabbed the back of your neck, entangling itself in your hair. Tension forms at the pit of your stomach.
"I have the biggest crush on you, Sa-" you mustered the huskiest voice you could find, but he wouldn't let you finish, his tongue already trying to find its place in your mouth.
He freed his hand from your hair just to grab your legs, lifting them up to wrap around him, his fingers digging deep into your thighs. He pauses to catch a breath, his face resting in the crook of your neck, just to huff a few words;
"Well, aren't I lucky?"
#jjk#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#gojo X reader#gojo X you#gojo X y/n#gojo satoru#jjk x you#jjk gojo#gojo satoru X reader#satoru x reader
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How about azula realizing she really likes the reader after they take a life-threatening injury for her?? Love me some angst
Fiery Care - Azula x Reader os
[masterlist]
Azula x gn reader, tw: blood, heavy injury
1.340 words, please tell me if you find any mistakes!
I hope I got the request right, enjoy :)
No-one had prepared you for this. Rocks were being thrown at you by an earthbender, accompanied by the combined magic of a waterbender, the treacherous, disgraced prince, some incompetent boy with a sword and the Avatar himself.
You had trained firebending a lot, because, even considering that you were born into them, one only got accepted in the upper circles of the fire nation if one was a good fighter, but normally you were kept far away from any actual, real fights by your family, as they valued you - or rather your appearance; they wouldn't want their "little prodigy" to enter the service under the fire lord with any "flaws" that originated from missteps in battles.
However, you had insisted on taking part in this battle for a very special reason.
< • ◇ • >
A few hours earlier:
Azula walked, or rather marched, through the courtyard, straight towards you. That was a very rare sight and an unnerving one too, as you had long been plagued by strong unrequited feelings towards the princess. You quickly arranged your armour to look even more orderly and clean than it already was, acting with a nervousness and anticipation that would have told anyone who saw you that it was not just, like with anyone else, fear, that Azula ignited in you, but also some much warmer feelings.
Well, it might have told anyone, but Azula wasn't anyone, was she?
Her two friends who always escorted her probably knew, but that was no matter to worry about as they seemed pretty reasonable and pitied you, because of your feelings, to a degree at which they didn't feel the need to worsen your emotional state anymore by telling Azula about your feelings.
Now Azula stopped pretty close in front of you - she could probably feel the heat your reddened face emitted, but she did not seem to care.
"Y/N. Our scouts have tracked down the Avatar. We will leave in a few minutes to confront him and his companions. Father says it would be a good first fight for you, but honestly I don't care wether you accompany us as it likely won't make any difference. So you can stay here if you want to."
With much more energy than fitting you immediately responded that there could be nothing more delightful for you than joining her in battle. Ty Lee grinned at you from behind Azula, making you blush even harder.
Azula seemed unimpressed at your enthusiasm, but you didn't care. What mattered was that you would be close to her - or at least closer to her than normally - for a little while.
Also, you should be able to convince your parents to let you go if you mentioned that the fire lord himself thought that it was a good idea.
< • ◇ • >
Well, maybe the reason you took part in the battle wasn't even that special. You wanted to impress Azula, that was about it. A pretty dumb thought, if you thought about it - she was more or less infallible, how was one, especially you, to impress her?
However, there was not much time to think about such matters, as the attacks coming from the people you were facing seemed to become faster by the second.
You dodged a fire bolt the filthy traitor prince sent towards you and melted a stone that flew towards you mid air, freeing you up for just one moment of looking around the battlefield.
The first thing you noticed was dramatic. A whip made from sharpened, magical water made its way to Azula and she, who was in any other moment completely aware of her surroundings, was just preparing to defend against an attack from the Avatar-boy - she could get killed by that whiplash!
From one moment to another, your brain was deactivated and your protection-instincts, and maybe a bit of love, took over: in an enormous leap you rushed over to Azula - for one moment, everything was red and pain, but soon relieving darkness enclosed you.
---
With an enormous wave of wind, the Avatar ripped two small trees out of the earth, throwing them at Azula. She laughed at that pathetic attempt to seize her, igniting the wood with such fire that only a drizzle of ashes arrived at her position. But that ominous rain not only consisted of the remains of the burned trees, but also of blood.
She quickly looked around herself to see from where the scarlet liquid could originate - the first thing she found was the origin of the terrible act: the waterbender-girl was retrieving a thread of water she had been bending for it to become sharp and deadly into the bottle she always carried around.
Continuing her search, she found, or rather stumbled upon you. You laid unconciously besides her feet, your shoulder bleeding furiously. Considering that you hadn't stood there a few moments ago and in which direction the whip had been flying, it did not take long for Azula to realise the whiplash had been meant for her.
Driven back by a continuously growing amount of fire nation soldiers, the Avatar and his partners fled the battlefield, giving Azula an oppertunity to lean down to you and inspect your barely breathing body further. The more she realised what had happened, the more irrational feelings rushed through her head.
Naturally, everyone would sacrifice themselves for her, right? She was Azula. She really should not feel bad for you, it had been your duty to save her. In fights, things like these happened. You had to live (or not, in some cases) with it.
Yet, she could not help telling the healers who soon arrived to be extra careful with you if they did not want to experience her wrath.
She also couldn't keep herself from waiting outside the healer's tent, anxiously expecting the moment you would leave it. You would leave it, after all. She demanded you did. There was simply no way you couldn't.
And, what was maybe the worst of all, your face did not want to leave her mind. The face she had seen so many times on the courtyard and that she had always taken for granted - and that had not lost any of its beauty even when tainted through your own dark blood.
Given the size of your wound the process of healing was a long and exhausting one, but each day Azulas hope of seeing you again grew with the increasingly positive reports of the healers she ordered them to bring her.
Quite a few times had Ty Lee told Azula, in a very subtle manner, that it was quite unusual for her to think about someone this much. To care about them, even. That it almost seemed as if she liked you.
Naturally, Azula refused to give such assumptions any credit. Romantic fantasies like this were for children, and she was the very confident princess of the fire nation, not some toddler, wasn't she?
Of course she had to admit that she valued your wellbeing a little bit more than everyone elses, but her liking you? How absurd. Ridiculous, even.
Anyways, the only thing she seemed to do the following days beside worrying about you was to emphasize that she did not in any way worry about you at all. Oh, she couldn't wait for the day you left the hospital so that she could ask you some serious questions about what you did to make her think about you.
When the day of your releasememt from the hospital came, though, any questions were quickly forgot. Alone the sight of your face made her see everything she could have ever asked for.
You too could not believe your luck when Azula was the first person to greet you after leaving the hospital; her inviting you to sit beside her at the royal dinner that evening exceeded all your dreams.
She stepped closer towards you, and your heart fluttered when you saw the same look in her eyes that you had been giving her for a long time.
#azula x reader#atla#atla x reader#azula#azula x y/n#atla azula#azula avatar#azula x gn reader#x reader#anon#avatar the last airbender
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The Great War — Katie McCabe x Reader
Additional info: Story inspired Taylor Swift’s The Great War. I’m in my Katie era, but I’m also planning on writing about other players, especially Alexia, which I have like four ideas to write about. We’ll see. I also have a draft of Ruesha x Katie inspired in Moth to a flame by The Weeknd, but I’m doubting about posting it or not. Maybe in the future I’ll write a Caitlin x Katie fic, but I don't have a clear vision of them yet to properly write about them.
Warnings: Mentions of anxiety, throwing up and therapy, sensitive topics overall, avoid reading if you find them triggering. Angsty Katie.
Word count: 1691
Right after Katie ended her relationship with Caitlin Foord, she met Y/N. After some time, they got into a relationship together. They enjoyed every single second of the magical connection they seemed to have. With the passing of time, Katie became more and more anxious about her relationship with Y/N. She doubted she could be what Y/N deserved, even though her girlfriend took her time every day to remind Katie that she's never been as happy in a relationship as she was with her.
«My knuckles were bruised like violets
Sucker punching walls, cursed you as I sleep-talked»
Two heartbreaks in such a little time, with both her Ireland National Team's member Ruesha and girlfriend of seven years, and her Arsenal's teammate Caitlin Foord, who was her girlfriend during half a year, made the Irishwoman insecure about her ability to love, to trust, to have a happy fairytale ending. Katie knew these thoughts would damage her relationship with Y/N, but she couldn't help but to spend most of her day tracking every single detail that built her relationship to the obsessive point where she felt absolutely sick of herself.
«Spineless in my tomb of silence
Tore your banners down, took the battle underground»
When she reached her limit, she told Y/N about what was going on. Y/N responded well and helped Katie, and it started well. Really well. But after some time, Katie fell back into a cycle of doubt and anxiety, and those sensations kept growing when she noticed any change in Y/N's mood, as she took it too personally. This made her re-experience in her mind those moments of stress while she was with Ruesha or Caitlin.
«And maybe it was ego swinging
Maybe it was her
Flashes of the battle come back to me in a blur»
Y/N tried to understand her, she tried and tried but eventually, she reached her limit.
“I want to help you. I really do. But I can't continue like this. I'm not Ruesha, nor I am Caitlin. I am aware that being in a new relationship it's difficult for you, so maybe we should take things a bit slower. I don't mean to take a break, but maybe I should go back to my flat. We will move on slower than we did before, but I do think it's the only way to work it out.”
«All that bloodshed, crimson clover
Sweet dream was over»
“Yeah, maybe you're right´”, that was Katie's only response. Y/N limited herself to sigh. That night, Katie slept alone in her bed. Her body reacting to the cold sheets and crying herself to sleep.
«My hand was the one you reached for
All throughout the Great War»
Sweet morning messages from Y/N, “Good morning, baby. Do good at training today! Love you ;)”
Surprise visits from Y/N, lovely gifts, usually handmade ones, brought Katie to tears as she felt endlessly loved.
«Always remember
Tears on the letter
I vowed not to cry anymore
If we survived the Great War»
Katie prayed for things to get back as they were during the first months of the relationship. The feeling of her not being a good girlfriend to Y/N haunted her even in her sleep.
«You drew up some good faith treaties
I drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone»
Y/N suggested going to a therapist together, but Katie was unsure about that. She thought that if she couldn't quite open to her girlfriend about her feelings and thoughts, she wouldn't be able to talk about what was bothering her to a therapist. Such a huge contrast between the two parts of the relationship that drew them even more apart.
«You said I have to trust more freely
But diesel is desire, you were playing with fire
And maybe it's the past that's talkin'
Screamin' from the crypt
Tellin' me to punish you for things you never did
So I justified it»
“No, I'm sorry, but I'm not doing this. I feel uncomfortable talking to a stranger about our issues.”
“I know, baby, I was just suggesting it. Let me explain you why. We are aware of having some problems in our relationship, but we don't really know how to get through it. We've tried and things keep getting worse. Maybe talking to someone who's out of our relationship can make this whole situation clearer for the both of us.”
«All that bloodshed, crimson clover
The bombs were close and
My hand was the one you reached for
All throughout the Great War
Always remember
The burning embers
I vowed not to fight anymore
If we survived the Great War»
Katie took some weeks to meditate Y/N´s idea. She was terrified of being judged by the therapist they would talk to. Even more scared of Y/N realizing she didn't do any good to her. Eventually, she agreed.
“Maybe she's right. People attend therapy sessions. It's normal, Katie. It's normal”, she said to herself.
«It turned into something bigger
Somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed»
Katie was not new to getting help from a therapist. She was very open about her mental health in different areas of her life, whether that included football or not. The first time she attended a therapy session was when she was a teenager. It went well, so did the first sessions with Anna, Katie's and Y/N´s psychologist.
Making progress is not a linear process, and making mistakes is a part of the success. Mistakes are a victory in themselves, it means that you're still trying. One day, Katie had an individual session with Anna. Anna felt it was Katie's time to open about her two past relationships; a young adult romance that lasted for more than half a decade and a short but intense romance of one year after a breakup.
It was a slow conversation filled with many pauses from Katie.
“Are you gonna tell Y/N what I'm telling you?”
“No, Katie. This stays between me and you”, said Anna.
As Katie told her her experiences in love, she broke down.
The wall she had built, in order to avoid being hurt and judged, collapsed in that therapy room.
“Don't be afraid to cry. You have nothing to prove to me nor to Y/N. This is about you and your healing process. Y/N will help you and accompany you, but it's crucial for you to work on yourself, especially being a public figure.”
«Your finger on my hair pin triggers»
As Katie arrived home, she unlocked her phone and asked Y/N to come over.
“I've asked Anna, and she told me it was a good initiative and a great way of gaining some independence in our relationship, leaving her out of it for a while. Don't feel obliged to!”
“I am exhausted, baby. Work was something else today, and I’m a little bit irritated because of it, lol. Maybe another time? Love you.”
As Katie was about to spiral, she remembered Anna's advice. She breathed deeply. Y/N was setting her boundaries. She trusted Katie enough to tell her the truth and not to make any excuses. She felt tired from work. Y/N is not mad at her. She didn't do anything wrong. Everything’s okay.
«Soldier down on that icy ground
Looked up at me with honor and truth
Broken and blue, so I called off the troops»
The next day Katie woke up to a text from Y/N.
“Good morning, princess. I had a great sleep, what about you? How did you sleep? I’m up to seeing you today if you feel like it. Love you.”
Still slightly asleep, she smiled.
“I can't wait to see you today, beautiful girl. I had a good sleep, too. Good to have the bed all to myself ;))”
She frowned after sending the text with that joke at the end.
“Breath, Katie, let these useless thoughts pass. Both you and Y/N feel comfortable teasing each other”, said Katie to herself.
“Ha, ha, really funny. We both know you missed having me snoring next to you.”
“How do you know?!?!”
«That was the night I nearly lost you
I really thought I lost you»
As Katie was preparing herself to go out with Y/N to have lunch, she remembered the night where Y/N left her house.
She doesn't freak out to the thought of it, but instead she does an exercise of introspection. She sees herself in her mind, almost throwing up, completely emotionally depending on her girlfriend while pushing her away and bottling up her feelings.
«We can plant a memory garden
Say a solemn prayer, place a poppy in my hair
There's no morning glory, it was war, it wasn't fair
And we will never go back
To that bloodshed, crimson clover
The worst was over»
Now she looks at herself in the mirror. She sees herself, Katie, as the woman who knows that she's loved, and she's deserving of being it. The woman who respects her girlfriend’s boundaries and doesn't freak out at the tiniest change that she perceives. The woman who's going to take her girlfriend out to have a good time having lunch, not worrying about anything but what order she's going to have.
«My hand was the one you reached for
All throughout the Great War
Always remember
We're burned for better
I vowed I would always be yours
'Cause we survived the Great War
I would always be yours
'Cause we survived the Great War
I vowed I would always be yours»
As they arrived home back from the restaurant, Y/N walked towards Katie.
“I’m so proud of you, baby. You did this. You are doing it every day. I’m so excited to see where our relationship leads us to.”
As Katie sobbed, she softly laughed, “It’s nice to cry sometimes. God, I feel so relieved. I’m so proud of myself, too, of us! Thank you for being there for me, Y/N, thank you. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life as your girlfriend.”
“Even when you'll wake up to my snoring?”
“Especially when I'll wake up to your snoring.”
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NSFW ABC - König Edition
I am all for this fucking bandwagon, and I am jumping right up on it with some smut about our favourite Austrian giant, König!
This posts contains heavy smut elements, so minors stay away!
If you like this and want more, I already have nsfw alphabets about Soap, Alejandro, Gaz and Ghost in the works, so don't you worry!
Let me know what you think, and enjoy!
warnings: senseless smut, könig is kinda obsessed, tried to keep it genderneutral but female anatomy might be hinted at, mentions of throatfucking (könig might be bi tbh), longer than it needs to be
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex):
Needs reassurance that he didn't go too far, that he didn't hurt you and that you want him to stay. He's bigger than above average, and while he tries to control himself, he sometimes loses himself in the heat of the moment, and the heat of you.
Has a tendency to overstimulate you without intending to, and can grip you a bit tighter than he means to, so he spends some time kissing any bruises he can find as if to say sorry, and massages any sore muscles that might be making themselves known when the high is wearing off. He'll happily carry you into the shower and help you wash off, careful not to rub any areas that might be sore or sensitive (anymore than he has to, at least). You might need to convince him if you want to massage him too, because lord knows he needs to be taken care of as well, but if you get the chance to, he'll probably fall asleep in minutes.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s):
With his anxiety and experience with getting relentlessly bullied when younger, his perception of his body is a bit skewed. He's trained to be a soldier; his body is meant for fighting and killing. While acutely aware of his own size, he has never really taken the time to actually take a proper look at his body for anything other than to check for wounds and scars, and even though he has received a number of compliments in his adult years and enjoyed them, the concept of being confident solely in his physical appearance is a bit foreign to him.
With you, however, he has indeed found himself some appreciation for his body - you shower him with compliments any chance you get, but he has specifically grown a new fondness of his hands. He loves the way your skin feels under his palms, how you sigh and shiver and moan when he finds all the right spots, loves squeezing at your softer parts and seeing the flesh bulb out between his fingers.
Speaking of softer parts, while there is probably not a single millimeter of your body that he doesn't want to lay all of his love onto, he must admit that he has a specific weakness for your chest and thighs. Even if you don't have big breasts, he still loves to run his hands and mouth over them, making circles over your nipples with his thumbs and tongue. As for your thighs, he will sometimes spend an extended amount of time doing nothing but stroking, kissing, licking, sucking and biting them. He doesn't move to eat you out (although it will more often than not lead to that), he's not doing it to tease you, but there's just something about the softness and the warmth that has him lose track of time. Loves the way they squeeze together around his hand or head or hips when you cum, and will sometimes make you cum for the sole reason of watching them quiver.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically):
This is actually something that used to embarrass him to no end before he got with you, because he cums quite a lot. He makes a mess and he doesn't like it. The first time you had sex without a condom, he had you on your back, holding the back of your knees to keep your legs spread. He intended to pull out to stop himself from coming, because it was happening quicker than he anticipated and he wanted this to last, but to no avail. He came all over your hole, and at the twitch of his cock, a couple of spurts shot up along your torso, leaving trails from your pubic mound all the way up to your neck.
He apologized profusely, on the verge of tears because he thought that he had ruined everything, that you'd be disgusted, but when you ran a finger through it and brought it to your mouth to taste, his brain short circuited and he almost came again from the sight alone. Nowadays he takes it upon himself to lick it off of your body, or from between your legs after he's watched it leak out, only to then crawl back up to your face and kiss you deeply to share the taste.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs):
He had woken up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, nothing crazy. But when he came back to bed, you had shifted in your sleep. The cover had slipped off of you, you were naked and your legs were spread. There were hickeys forming along the inside of your thighs, and he could tell that there was still some stickiness left from your prior session.
The more timid side of him told him to just tuck you in and go back to sleep, but he couldn't look away. As if in a trance, he knelt down on the mattress at the foot of the bed and stared, feeling himself get hard. He wanted to dive in, but you were sleeping and he didn't want to disturb your peace, and as if on autopilot, he wrapped his hand around his dick, pumping it to nothing but the sight of you. He got close embarrassingly fast, leaning his weight forward on one hand and gripping the sheets, as if to get closer while also keeping himself at bay, biting his lip to keep quiet, salivating.
He quickly realized the mess he'd make if he came now, so he rushed back out into the bathroom and stepped into the shower where his cum could easily be rinsed down the drain. When he came back, you'd rolled over on your side and snuggled into the sheets. He still hasn't told you and it still pains him, because he hates keeping secrets from you.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?):
Contrary to popular belief, not a virgin. At least not to the full extent. Has had both men and women offer to help him blow off some steam when his adrenaline is still running high, and has taken some of them up on that offer. Never actual sex though; any time that he has actually snuck off with someone, they've usually gotten down on their knees and offered their hands or throats to him.
He may or may not have had a dick or two in his own mouth before - they're oftentimes much smaller than he is, and he's never really had any trouble taking them.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying):
Might not have one single specific favourite, but has learned to enjoy the way he completely covers you when he has you underneath him, because it makes him feel like he's protecting you, regardless of if he's fucking you in missionary or if you're lying face down, ass up. Likes leaning over you as closely as he can, and often pushes your knees up to your chest or angling himself in an attempt to get deeper into you. Sometimes, when he's starting to lose himself, he'll fall over a bit and bury his face in the pillow next to your head and moan almost helplessly into the fabric. It would make you smile if you weren't usually right there on that edge with him.
Also loves it when you get on top to ride him, because he gets to watch you from a whole new angle. He'll happily sit back and let you pick the pace, watching you fuck yourself on him with an awed gleam in his eyes. He'll be happy to have you either way.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.):
Tends to be a bit more serious due to his nerves, but your sex life is not without it's funny moments, like when you knock your heads together or fumble with the belt, or nearly fall over when trying to take your clothes off. He ran his hand over your waist in a way that tickled you once, and when you giggled he couldn't bring himself to stop, a beaming grin on his face as he told you to make that sound again. Every now and again, you'll tickle each other, even when he's balls deep, just because it gives a sort of domestic reprieve in what can sometimes be an overwhelmingly hot and heavy moment.
The two of you have also laughed yourselves into a tummyache a number of times, usually because of something that caught both of you completely off guard, like the time you broke a small cot that belonged to someone else. He was petrified at first, but once you'd started giggling, he couldn't keep it together. Eventually you both had reached full belly laugh, and you both just laughed for a long while before he eventually gathered his senses, buried his face in the skin of your neck, and with another chuckle he pulled you into him and started fucking you again, the sound of your laugh still hanging around the edges of your surprised moans.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.):
Doesn't actually have a whole lot of hair. It's thick, and enough to cover his pubic mound, curly and dark, but it's not like an absolute jungle. Prides himself on his personal hygiene and might go for a trim if he ever feels like he needs to. Has a happy trail that you love running fingers and kisses along, making his legs feel like jelly every time.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect):
Holds you close, like he wants to sinks into your very skin and stay there forever. Strokes your cheek, looks you deep in the eyes and has a deep red shade spread over his cheeks when he tells you he loves you. He will probably be on the verge of tears if you return the sentiment. He often stops moving just so he can lean in and kiss you deeply and hungrily, as if caught off guard by a sudden and intense desire for it.
He's also really big on nonsexual intimacy, loving to stand in the shower with you with no other purpose but for you to mutually care for each other, or just resting his head on your chest to listen to your heartbeat as you stroke his hair.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon):
He wants to save himself as much as he can for you, but when deployed and sent somewhere far away from you, he can't help himself. He always goes out on his mission with a laser-like focus, but every now and then, on the calmer nights, he can't stop the thoughts about you, about how much he misses you and how he wants nothing more but have you in his arms again, and once these thoughts have turned to the more unsavoury side, he needs to find somewhere private to relieve himself, lest someone on his team notices what's on his mind.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks):
While he at times can enjoy the sheer size difference between the two of you and how he can use it in the bedroom, it wouldn't be to the point of a kink. You suspect he might have somewhat of an oral obsession however, considering how keen he is on keeping his mouth and tongue on you.
Surprisingly likes it when you tie him up, even though he acts like could positively die if he doesn't get to touch you. Will praise you endlessly, and you think he's about to ascend to some other realm if you praise him as well.
He also catches you off guard when you're out in public and he leans in to whisper that he wants to find some hidden spot somewhere and eat you out. Likes overstimulation, both for you and for himself. He likes being overstimulated because he wants nothing but to be good for you and because he feels almost like a new man afterwards. When he overstimulates you, however, it's usually because he can't bring himself to stop once you've started cumming.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do):
Somewhat into semi-public stuff, although he still wants to make sure that no one will see you. Other than that, your very own bed is where he likes it the most. Isn't adverse to fucking you on pretty much every other surface in your home, though.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going):
Anything you do with any sort of sexual intention will have him melting into an absolute puddle. If you asked, he'd be on his knees for you before you'd even completed the sentence. If you simply tugged at his clothes, he'd have undressed himself in the blink of an eye. He's incredibly attuned to you whenever you're nearby and he's ready to throw himself at you at any chance he can get. Be kind to him. He can only handle so much before he breaks.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs):
He will never, by any means whatsoever, ever hurt you or degrade you, or do anything that even closely relates to it. Not even to save his own life. The bruises he unintentionally leaves on you from time to time already stress him out enough as is, even if you tell him you don't mind them and that they barely even hurt. If you tell him that you want him to inflict some pain on you or degrade you, he'd flat out refuse. Even as a soldier, it goes against every grain of his very nature to hurt someone he loves. If he ever truly did hurt you, he'd never forgive himself.
Doesn't want to be hurt or degraded either - reminds him too much of his childhood. Any other bodily fluids outside of what usually comes with having sex is also an absolute no-go.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.):
Believe it or not, but König doesn't really like recieving blowjobs. He's big, and quite a bit more than just a mouthful, and usually when anyone tries to suck him off, even if they are capable of swallowing all of him down, they tend to end up scraping their teeth along the length of him and it doesn't feel good. He'd prefer a handjob in that case. That doesn't mean he doesn't like it when you use your mouth on him, though. Kiss and lick up the sides, tease the ridge just under the helmet, suck on the head and tongue the slit while you work your hand up and down and he'll be crying out your name to the heavens like it's the only thing that could ever save him.
Going down on you, though, is as far as he's concerned an absolute want and need.As mentioned before, he loves the feeling of your thighs squeezing around his head, and it's also one of the few times where he actually appreciates his stature, because his hands can still easily reach the rest of your body. It's a bit too easy for him to lose himself in you, however - he tends to get "drunk" off of you and you swear it's like he forgets to breathe. Even with a tight grip of his hair, it takes you a lot to pull him away from you, and when you do, he sucks in a deep lungful of air, only to try and get his mouth back on you. If you by some miracle manage to hold him off, he'll start whining, and between the lust and overstimulation, you rarely have enough strength to actually hang on for long.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.):
Surprisingly soft, even when he's fucking you senselessly. Never slams into you, no. Tends to start off slow, to make sure he's warmed you up enough, but picks up the pace once you start begging him to. Keeps a steady, heavy pace, and even though he doesn't necessarily fuck you hard, you feel like every thrust drives the air out of you.
Once he gets close, however, he picks up speed and strength, almost reminding you of a human jackhammer. When he cums, he pushes himself as deep into you as he can, staying there while you feel his cock pulse, and waits only a moment before he begins to grind his hips into you, relishing in the sensitivity as he pumps you full.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.):
He would prefer to take his time with you; he needs to warm you up and stretch you out properly before he can actually fuck you. If you are going for a quickie, it's usually because you don't have access to the safety of your home at the moment, and if you (or he, for that matter) can't wait, he'll pull you along to find a secluded place somewhere and the two of you will make a mess out of each other with your hands and mouths instead.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.):
As mentioned before, can go for something semi-public, but he doesn't by any means want the two of you to get caught. He's up for anything you want to try, as long as there's no risk of either of you getting hurt or as long as it isn't out of this world.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?):
He has finished quicker than intended at times, but if he does, he simply finds some other way to please you. Can last a good while, and you usually end up losing count of how many times you cum. He'll try to go for as long as you can, and he's kept you up at night a fair number of times.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?):
The idea of toys hadn't really struck him, until he asked you what you did when he was away and you decided to show him. Blushing heavily, he asked you about what they were, how you used them and if they felt good. When your response is "not as good as you," he feels like his heart skips a beat and almost needs to physically restrain himself from throwing himself over you. After much blushing and stammering, he eventually turns to you and asks if you can show him how you use them. He watches closely and learns, and it's like you've given him a whole new world to explore (and new ways to render you completely mindless). He will use the toys on you until you're practically crying for him to give you a break, even if his cock sits painfully hard in his pants.
Once you suggest that you can use them on him as well, you thought he'd throw his neck out with how fast he snapped his head towards you. You showed him things he'd never even considered, and after the first time you'd use a vibrating wand on his cock, he was sure he'd never be the same again.
You tell him about dildos and how you can use them as well, and he finds himself wondering what it would be like if you used one on him. Tends to be the one fucking you, but the idea of you fucking him (with a real dick or no) does more to him than he'd like to admit.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease):
He doesn't mean to tease, honest! He just loses himself in you, loses track of time. If you whine at him and try to scold him for it, he'll apologize breathlessly, but sometimes he can't bring himself to move on. He's just fascinated by you, smitten by you.
If you want some payback, he's not hard to tease. Will whine if you hold back, beg if you stop. If you edge him, he'll do a mix of the both, his words slurring and his languages mixing together into a near unrecognizable mess. But you usually find it in yourself to be merciful. Usually.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.):
Quite loud - the volume of his moans are usually on par with yours. He moans sweet things in your ears, trying to stay coherent, but it usually turns into a mess of English, German and Austrian German. Starts to ramble, and the words you are able to understand are usually somewhere along the lines of "ah, fuck, scheisse, you feel so good, ah, so fffuu-uhuh-ckinggood, I don't want to stop, I can't stop, m-my love, please, liebling, you take me so well, please don't stop now, I beg you, don't stop, I- ah!"
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character):
As far as blowjobs go, there's only ever been one that has been able to take all of him in their mouth - a man almost his own size that offered to go with him to the men's room back at base during some downtime right after a mission. The man had happily gotten down on his knees, opened his mouth wide and stuck his tongue out and let him grab him firmly by the head and throatfuck him against the stall door (König can still remember the sounds - if anyone else heard them, they never made it known). He would enthusiastically offer himself up a few more times, to the point where it almost became routine after missions. But then one day the man was gone and König just didn't see him again.
He's confessed this to you, worried that you might not want to be with him anymore, but you jokingly/not-so-jokingly suggested that maybe you should find another guy who can take him like that again, and his mind has been running wild ever since.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes):
He is most certainly big, definitely, however he is not wielding some sort of horsecock. Sits somewhere around 7-8 inches, thick enough to stretch you out and fill you up, but not so thick that you feel like you're about to split in half.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?):
Wants you nearly constantly, but usually leaves you to initiate. He can only hold off for so long, however, and once he's at his whit's end, he'll start touching you, running his fingers along your arms at first, then your waist, then his hands are gripping at your hips and he's breathing heavily into your ear, whispering to you how badly he wants you, will you please let him have you?
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards):
He will actually fall asleep rather fast if you tell him to lay with you for a bit longer before you clean up, which is why he usually declines. He wants both of you to be clean and fresh so that you don't have to deal with the icky and uncomfortable clean up that happens if you let it dry. Once clean, though, he'll happily crawl back into bed with you and either have you rest on top of him like a little blanket, or lay his head down onto your chest, and he'll be out like a light before you know it.
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Darling 💛 I get you usually ain't into emergency requests and all, but I could really use some headcanons for Wrio, Tartaglia, Neuvilette, and Itto. Their s/o is dealing with psychosis, specifically grappling with schizophrenia. I would love to get some comfort from them, hah..
Sweetie 💜 I know you are going through some tough time but remember that I am here to give you any kind of support I only can!
I hope you will like what I wrote for you 💜💜
☕ Wriothesley ☕
- Everyone in Fortress of Meropis is looking after you - Duke’s lovely assistant.
- When the world starts to change its shape and the Fortress doesn't look the same anymore, you stop recognizing people.
- Those aren't the residents anymore… They are shadows and they are after you, wanting to rip you apart. They want you dead.
- When this happens and you aren't near Wriothesley, there always is someone who will keep an eye on you while someone else is running to find the Duke.
- When Wriothesley reaches you, you are already trying to get away from whoever is holding you from fear of your life.
- The moment you see him, you run right into his arms. “They… T-They are after me, Wrio. They want to get me.”
- He hushes you and quickly picks you up. Wriothesley takes you to his office so you are away from everyone and everything.
- He of course makes you a cup of the tea that always calms you down.
- If you see things that scare you, don't you worry - your beloved Duke is there to keep you close, wrapped in his arms; his palm covering your eyes to not make you look at whatever is hunting you.
- Shadowy figures fill the room, your mind gets filled with too many bad voices to count, and all you can do is cry and beg for all of this to stop.
- “Shhh. You’re alright, Y/N. I’ll keep you safe. Even if I have to fight the dark shadows for you,” he assures you, patting your back. His voice is just a whisper.
- As scary as all of this is, Wriothesley’s voice is like a ray of light in the darkness. No matter what voices say you trust him.
- When the worst passes, the two of you enjoy some good tea, while talking. True, it's not the easiest since you can't focus because your thoughts are running wild but Wriothesley is patient with you.
- If he needs to repeat something even a hundred times, he’ll do it or he will simply continue your subject. Anything to make you feel better.
- Once everything fades away, he is there with his cocky smile.
- “I am sorry, Wriothesley… You need to deal with something that terrible,” you whisper, feeling ashamed of forcing him into dealing with someone like you.
- He just scoffs and hugs you tightly. “C'mon, no need to apologize. I love you and nothing will change that. I’ll do everything to help you.”
- He will forever keep an eye on your meds, making sure you take them. He will count them and write everything down in a little notebook to keep the track.
- If you have any treatment you need to attend, be sure he will join you. Wriothesley doesn't need to be there but he wants to, just so you can witness his support.
- Even Sigewinne checks on you. As a head nurse, she needs to be sure you are doing okay.
- Wriothesley will take you for walks on the surface, hoping that leaving the rough interiors of Fortress will make you feel better.
- He promises you to always be there. No matter how difficult and scary it may be, your Duke will be close to protect you.
💧 Neuvillette ⚖
- From his past experiences, Neuvillette is fully aware of how fragile the mind can be. No matter if it's the mind of a Melosine or of a human being.
- He saw his fair share of troubled people during his life but the illness eating you from the inside of your own mind really hurts him.
- Of course he doesn't treat you like a child. You are his beloved mate and he knows you're not handicapped or anything like this, you just have a bad moment.
- The Chief Justice is doing everything he can to ensure your safety when you are near him as well as when you are on your own.
- You are sitting at the cafe and enjoying some tea and sweet cake when Melosines pop out of nowhere, right next to your table. “Good morning! Are you feeling alright? Is there anything I can help you with? Hope you remembered your meds today.”
- Each Melosine you meet on your stroll through the Court of Fontain asks you how you feel and if any of them can help you. You know it was Neuvillette’s idea but you don't mind it. Little Melosines checking on you is really cute.
- One day you can’t shake off the feeling of someone watching you and whispering about you. Shadowy figures creep around and you only can see them with the corner of your eyes.
- Your panic only rises with each turn. All you want is to chase away the shadow creature but it is always gone. There was only one thing to do… RUN… run for your life to hide in your house. They can’t get you there, right? RIGHT!
- Of course your panic doesn’t go unnotice. One of the Melosines sees you pushing through people in a desperate attempt to get back to your home, and she immediately goes to report to Neuvillette.
- Neuvillette finds you inside your home - your place is a mess, looking as if you tried to secure yourself from the outside world.
- You are sitting among that mess, squeezed tightly in a corner of the room, curled into a small ball.
- The sight of you makes his heart shutter. Without even mentioning the mess he slowly approaches you, calling your name quietly. “My love, Y/N. I am here. What's wrong?”
- You shake your head, holding your knees close to yourself, not even looking at him. “I… I don't know. It just seems like there is something following me! I feel scared, I feel hopeless! I want it to end,” you explain and immediately burst into tears.
- Heavy rain starts to fall but Neuvillette keeps it together on the outside, all for your own comfort. “I can assure you that you are safe, my love. Will you allow me to maybe hold you?”
- You just nod your head and soon you’re wrapped in his embrace. Neuvillette doesn't speak, waiting for you to open up on your own and once you do he is listening to your every word. He provides words of comfort and small touches like wiping your tears and stroking your hair.
- He never judges you for what's happening to you since it's beyond your own control but as iudex and your mate he promises to always be there.
- No matter how you may feel about yourself and your illness, he will be there till the very end, helping and guarding you.
⚔ Tartaglia ⚔
- He doesn't really notice it at first. You are stressed, it's normal. Who isn't stressed? Of course he notices all the odd things about your behavior but doesn't take them as anything bad. Untill…
- One day he finds you wandering around your little hut, looking around like a lost child. You seem really lost as if you didn't recognize your own surroundings despite living there for years. Not to mention you’re bare foot and without a winter coat with all the snow and harsh cold around you.
- “Y/N! H-How are you?” He asked with a worried smile. You quickly cling onto him.
“Tartaglia! I am so happy to see you,” you say happily and hug him tightly. Of course he returns the hug yet it still feels off.
- “Why aren't you home? It's cold out here,” he says, cupping your red cheeks to warm them up a little.
- You blink, looking right up at him. “That's… My home?” you ask slowly and look over your shoulder.
- Tartaglia nods and slowly leads you inside, he doesn't want you to get sick or anything.
- When you look around the inside of the hut, your eyes still seem lost. It's like you aren't yourself even in slightlest.
- Tartaglia is trying to start the fire in the fireplace when suddenly you are on the floor, screaming and backing up until your back hits the wall.
“A-Ajax… be careful! There is a man behind you. He is going to kill you!” You scream. Your face is filled with true terror.
- He stands up straight and looks around the room but it's empty. There’s no one there but you and him. Hut is so small that no one could even hide. Yet you look serious, your fear isn't fake. You are seeing things that aren't here.
- He drops the wood and joins you on the floor. Tartaglia hugs you tightly, pressing your head to his shoulder like he would be trying to hide you from everything. “Don’t worry. No one is brave enough to go against me or someone I love,” he says quietly, stroking your hair and the back of your neck.
- The voice in your head is dangerous, and it keeps on talking about how terrible, good for nothing you are. All you can do is cry while nuzzling his shoulder. You feel tired of it, you don't know where you are and all the scary people just follow you, mocking you no matter where you go.
- Tartaglia finds it weird. You aren't his beloved and change is so sudden, you apparently don't recognize your own house and see things that aren't there, swing from happiness to panic in a second.
Of course he is not going to leave your side. He could never abandon you in such a state. Tartaglia holds you the whole time, listening to your words even if they weren't true. He protects you from all the phantoms that hunt you. “It's okay, lovely. I am here, no one will put their hands on you when I am here and I am not leaving,” while whispering his hand gently strokes your back, providing comfort.
- Once you are calm enough, he carefully picks you up to move you to your warm bed. Tartaglia joins you there to show that you are really safe with him. He will listen to whatever you have to say, no matter how odd it may sound. You may spit nonsense and he will nod and talk with you about it.
- When the fatigue after an episode gets to you and you fall asleep, he wonders what he can do. At first he considers asking Dottore for help but the more he thinks about it, the more terrible the idea seems. He doesn't want to put you in danger.
- In the end, he sends a letter to a doctor from Liyue just to find out more about what's happening to you. Of course he takes his time to talk with you about what is happening to you.
- You may feel as ashamed but don't you worry! He is up for the challenge if it means helping you.
- He is stubborn and in love, so no matter what you are stuck with him.
👹 Itto 🎆
- He is basically clueless… Just at first of course!
- Shinobu and Granny Oni have lots of learning to do but since he is taking you seriously, he catches on pretty quickly.
- One day you don't show up on Inazuma’s treets, which worries him.
- You simply can't take it. People are whispering about you because of who you are dating and what you are doing with your life. They are always close, telling you all kinds of nasty things, calling you worthless, stupid, a waste of air.
- Suddenly, there is a knock on your door. “Um… Y/N? Are you there?”
- “Go away Itto! Just go away!” you yell at him, finding a safe place to hide from everything.
- You are home what makes him happy! But your yelling worried him. “C’mon, sweet cheeks! I brought some cool stuff that will make you happy! I promise,” Oni assures you and after a moment of silence he decides to walk in.
- You sit on your bed, wrapped in a blanket from head to toe as if you are trying to hide from him and the whole world. It breaks his heart.
- He puts all the stuff he brought onto the table for sitting next to you. “Hey… I know I can't do much but this big and strong Oni can try and hide you in his arms.”
- You just look at him but after a moment you climb onto his laps. Itto smiles and hugs you tightly. “There ya go. Nice, cozy and safe. Now tell me what's in that pretty head of yours.”
- Itto is holding you close when you speak. No matter how dark your thoughts get, how cruel the whispers become, he is listening to you.
- When you burst into years he panics just a little. “N-No, no, no, no. There is no place for crying here,” he sits you on the bed next to him and then puts his head in your lap. “You always liked my hair, yeah? How about playing with it?”
- You start playing with his soft long hair, slowly calming down from everything. That's to him you started to feel safe.
- When you felt better, Itto was more than happy to gift you with stuff he brought. He got your favorite sweets and a plushie that you dreamed about.
- Next time this happens, he is right by you, providing any possible kind of comfort in the best way possible! In Oni way!
- Itto will care about your comfort and make sure you feel alright no matter what. You can hide from the whole world in his arms.
#genshin impact#genshin#wriothesley#wriothesley headcanons#genshin wriothesley#wriothesley x reader#wriothesley x you#neuvillette#neuvillette headcanons#genshin neuvillette#neuvillette x reader#neuvillette x you#tartaglia#tartaglia headcanons#genshin tartaglia#tartaglia x reader#tartaglia x you#arataki itto#arataki itto headcanons#genshin arataki itto#genshin itto#itto x reader#itto x you#arataki itto x reader#arataki itto x you#genshin impact x you#genshin impact x reader#genshin headcanons#genshin impact headcanons
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TRUST ME NOT
Pairing: Bf!(boss unit except one) x f!reader
W.C: 9.1k
Genre: Fluff, Mafia, Angst
Warnings: keeping secrets, innocent reader(?), mafia deals, murder, blast, tracking device, spying on someone, anonymous mail, tying up with rope in basement, unconcious, feeling sorry, sad, regrets, forgiveness, lots of kissing, anniversary surprises lol, getting shot, mention of blood(not detail) idk what to add anymore
1 month late birthday gift to @mymoodwriting sorry🥀
Network: @kvanity-main
🎀
Your anniversary was supposed to be held in a month.
The excitement was brightly visible on your face and you had a lot of arrangements to make. Going out to different stores and contacting some very important people who all are of potential help in some urgent scenarios. It's been five years since you were in a relationship with the mafia gang, NCT. Yeah, some people won't believe you if you say that you are the secret girlfriend, because your appearance and attitude is far from the ruthless behavior of the bosses--- your boyfriends.
The first one to notice that you were busy was Jungwoo, as he is the one who doesn't go out of the house often. His hacking job lets you both to spend more time with each other and well, this makes him throw cocky looks to others. You have told him repeatedly not to tease others because of that, but who is he to listen to?
You have almost planned everything for the upcoming day, obviously keeping it a secret from them. And this made Jungwoo suspicious of you. Earlier he was ignoring your weird attitudes and your now and then excuses to go out but one day when you were out for a long time, he followed your location. Well, he tried to but he couldn't track it.
How the hell is that even possible?
Now, he can't obviously charge you for messing up with the tracking device as you aren't aware of any of these. So, he decided to talk this out with his gang members.
"Are you sure of the suspicion?" Taeyong asked with a dark look. He was already tired with the day and now one of his members is sitting in front of him with a doubt. He glanced at the rest of the members across the room but they all were pretty much similar attentive to the hacker like him. He sighed and urged him to speak more.
The hacker nodded and proceeded, "she is acting differently and when I asked her last week. She was in a hurry to reply as if she would spill secrets if she spoke more than necessary."
"Maybe she is tired. You know her café has a lot of work." Mark stated and Jaehyun nodded his head in agreement. They know very well how dedicated you are to your work and something that might be keeping you busy these days.
Jungwoo shook his head, "No. The surprising fact is that she is barely available at the cafe."
"Then where is she going every morning?" Winwin asked and glanced at him from the corner of the room. And this caught everyone's attention.
Jaehyun remembered his interaction with you from two days back over the call.
"When I asked to pick her up from the cafe, she denied and told me about having extra hours but ended up coming home by riding someone else's car. As far as I know no one from her cafe owns that car." he stated and looked around.
"What? And you are telling me now?" Taeyong banged the table with his fist making the ones sitting near to him to flinch. Doyoung licked his lower lips and ran his fingers through the hairs. He was still putting in the pieces together and hoping that whatever they were thinking should not be the actual case.
Are you hiding something from them?
Or are you planning for something to destroy them?
Mark put his phone beside him on the sofa, "Dude, don't think like that. We must be wrong somewhere. Don't doubt her for anything."
"You are not suspecting her for anything right?" Winwin looked at his leader expectantly who in return just poked his cheek with the tongue and turned towards Doyoung.
"Tell everyone to keep a closer look on her." he said and looked at everyone, "all of you will see what's the matter with her. If she is not going to the cafe and not talking with us that much. Then we should find out what's the matter that she is suddenly acting so differently."
"But-"
"Mark, don't argue with me now."
No one spoke anything after that. Four of them left the room, leaving the leader with Doyoung. The latter's eyes followed how frustratingly the leader was brushing his hairs back and sighing.
"I know, you are not doubting her like the way you are showing your anger."
The leader rested his elbows on the table and held his head with his palms, "I don't want to blame her for anything. I trust her so much but I want to know what's up with her. I love her so much, Doyoung."
Doyoung walked towards him and patted his back comfortingly, "we all love her, Taeyong. If she ever betrays us then nothing can hurt us more than that."
"I don't want to hurt her. She is precious to me. I want all these to be just a misunderstanding."
"She is not betraying us. We will just find out what's the matter with her and then everything will be fine."
The latter just nodded and tears fell from his eyes similarly like the one standing.
.
.
"Where are you going?" Jungwoo asked as he saw you hurrying towards the door. You were smiling all the way down the stairs while looking at the phone. His eyes were staring at you with curiosity and adoration. When he repeated the question again, you glanced at him away from your phone and raised your brows.
"Uh..I..somewhere...do you need something?"
"No. But where? Do you want me to go with you?"
"No!".
He was taken aback by your sudden scream, "what? Why are you shouting?"
You awkwardly laughed and brushed your hairs, "I'll be off to the place and will return quickly. Don't worry."
As soon as you took a turn, someone grabbed your forearm and made you turn around. The turn was so sudden that you almost lost your balance on your heels, "What the hell! Jaehyun?"
"It's late afternoon. I don't think you are going to the cafe right now. Your workers told me that you will be there in the evening. So where to now?" His tone was low and demanding.
His grip was firm and you glanced at the hold then at his face. He had just showered after returning home. The others were not there yet and these two were only at the house so you decided to leave without them noticing you but it's not the case now.
"Hey, I'm just going to meet someone." you smiled at the end of the sentence.
"Who? Let me take you there."
You held his wrist to take off his hand from yours, "No, it's okay. I can go there alone. He will be just a few blocks away and......and then everything is fine."
"he? Y/n, who is this person? Do I know him? Have any of us seen him before?"
"Oh my jealous baby, Jae. Come on, don't think like I am a child. And you don't have to know everyone."
He stepped closer to you, tugging your hairs behind your ears before holding your hands and smiling down at you with a soft look, "I just care for you too much, Y/n. I don't want anyone to hurt you. Please be safe out there as you know your life is always at risk because of us...and dont hide anything from us."
You couldn't hear the last words but you smiled at him, "I will be safe. I promise."
He leaned forward to peck your lips and then planted a soft kiss on your temple. Jungwoo came up behind you and hugged you, nuzzling his nose in your neck inhaling the recently applied perfume, you smiled at the tingling sensation. He whispered, "if you can't keep yourself safe. Then I will kill everyone who will hurt you."
You grabbed one of his hands and brought it to your lips, planting a kiss, "I know. I am always safe with you all."
.
.
.
You were safe. Your preparations and secrets, everything was safe. Only two weeks left and you couldn't contain your excitement. Skipping steps towards the flower shop, you were greeted by the familiar man holding a rose in his hold and smiling endearingly at you. Your smile widened brightly and a soft laugh escaped your throat when he kneeled down in front of you, "A rose for my queen." He extended his hand towards you and you took the flower from his hand.
"Oh please shut up, Wooyoung."
He again stood in front of you and smoothed his blazer and pants. The look was stating that he was on his way for the meeting but still his playful nature and his childish laugh was not setting right with his appearance.
"Why? I can call you anything."
"Just wait until I tell this to my boyfriend." you chuckled while looking around the flower shop, "Where is the owner?"
You never used your boyfriend's name in front of anyone, always referring to some silly names or simply 'my boyfriend'. No one has ever seen your so-called boyfriend but they know you always have the adoration while speaking of him—- of them.
"I don't know about him. Hey! Why are you asking for the owner when I'm here?" He whined and you shook your head in disbelief with the attitude.
"How old are you? And I need him to choose some exact flowers for the decoration and a perfect perfume to give my boyfriend." you smiled at the thought of surprising them with everything. He nodded with a pout and stood by your side while you were staring at some beautiful bouquets, "Is your boyfriend nice? You can tell me if you have any problems. You have said he lives outside this country but if he turns out as a cheater. I will show him hell."
"Of course, Wooyuong. There's nothing to worry about. I am fine and he is a very nice man. Maybe someday you can meet him and also, I'm doing all these preparations for our anniversary."
The owner just entered the door and greeted you both when the other one smiled at you before exiting the door.
.
.
.
One week left for your anniversary.
"So, I was right. She is going to this shop almost every day and according to Winwin, our enemy's last location was this shop."
They couldn't believe the pictures and the tracking location of the devices that were showing on the very big screen displayed in front of them. The undercover spy has clicked the pictures of you meeting with a young man well dressed up in a suit and you were hugging him with a smile, also in another picture, you were receiving flowers. The different gestures between you both were assuming that there was a deeper bonding than they can think of. Everything was pretty much fine until the call list and tracking device of yours and their enemy matches exactly.
"Jungwoo, have you gone to this shop before?" Taeyong asked when he placed himself on the sofa.
The hacker shook his head, "no, I never bought anything from there. I thought she knew the owner of the shop, that's why she is going there but it turned out she is meeting the owner of the device who is apparently our enemy. We need to find who is the owner. Winwin even followed her one day and guess what? They were planning for a big event and also went on a date."
"A date?" Mark had a confused look on his face.
Jungwoo nodded and Jaehyun continued, "yeah, she is meeting these certain people every often and that's why you can't find her in the cafe. And this one person is very common."
"That's Wooyoung, a member of the gang, Ateez. the shop owner is his best friend, just for cover." Winwin started from beside Doyoung who quickly turned towards him in surprise.
Taeyong scoffed in irritation, "So that's him? He blew our basement? I was so sure that somebody leaked our plan when we were having the mission in a different state and look, he took that advantage to attack on our base."
"And you think?" Doyoung raised a brow.
"She...she told him?" Taeyong didn't even want to say it but still he did. He blamed you. He doubted you. There was no other option left other than suspecting you with their recent events going on around them. He curled his fingers into a fist, suppressing the anger and hurt.
Mark leaned back into his chair, "we must be wrong somewhere. Or things have not been placed in the correct way."
"No. When I told Jungwoo for the first time, neither me nor him believed this but after one week of research. We are sure that she is involved with this." Winwin himself didn't want to believe what he was voicing out.
His own voice was betraying him. Was your love for them just a facade to destroy them in the end? Were you playing with their feelings? What? NO! This can't be, you are not like that. He couldn't convince anyone, maybe he was not even trying to convince anyone. No one was ready to believe that you were planning something worse behind their back, just to destroy them to get in with a man. The man who is apparently their enemy's gang member.
Mark stood up. A sad look visible on his face, fighting back the urge to cry in front of them. He couldn't hear more about suspecting you. Even if you are wrong, he still wants to see you and love you. His gaze shifted from the leader towards the large wide window, the setting of the sun was visible, "our anniversary is in almost 10 days. I hope we won't be doing something to ruin the day."
The words hit them altogether. Anniversary...they have bought a lot of gifts for you and they have arranged a trip for all of you to spend time together.
He turned around and Taeyong closed his eyes, heaving a sigh. Everyone was in disbelief and fighting whether they should blame you or...or what? There's nothing to think about anymore.
"Hey! you all here?" your cheerful voice broke the silence. The atmosphere was already tense inside the house but your presence was making it worse. To your oblivion, they shared glances between them when Jaehyun noticed some things in your hold. His jaw clenched at the sight and he stepped towards you.
"Who gave you this?"
You furrowed your brows before looking down and then a smile cracked on your face. Everyone noticed the shift in expression when you held the flowers tightly, "Um...someone. A friend?"
"Friend." he scoffed and glared at you. His expression surprised you and then when you looked around the room, you noticed others were looking at you with no emotions visible. It felt so distant as if you were missing something. But what's even the matter? Mark was standing on the first step of the stairs, when you caught his eyes, there was a hurt look— the look of betrayal.
"Mark-" the young boy didn't wait to hear you when he abruptly turned around and ascended the stairs, without even looking back at you. What happened?
"Where were you?" Doyoung asked with folded hands above his chest, supporting himself against the table. His dark and sharp eyes staring at you, waiting for a quick reply.
"I...I went to the cafe."
"You were not there. Don't lie. Just tell me exactly, where were you?"
Taeyong darkly chuckled, "of course to meet her friend. Right? So, had fun on the date?"
"Date?"
Jaehyun turned to him, "don't pretend that you don't know. You went on a date with your little friend, right?"
You shook your head when Jungwoo pointed at your large plastic bag, "what's all these?"
You tried to hide it behind your back only to get yanked away, "why are you hiding it?" He glared at your action.
"What's wrong with you all?"
"What's wrong with you? Are you planning something behind our back?" His words hurt you. No, it shocked you. Are they doubting you for something?
The phone in your pocket started ringing and when Jaehyun didn't loosen his grip on you, you snatched your arm away and glared at him. Fishing out the phone, you held it to your ear and greeted the person. Before walking towards your room, you snatched away the plastic bag from him and no one protested but watched you going away.
No one moved from their places but only Winwin followed you behind.
.
.
.
Three days have already passed since that day.
You didn't talk with anyone normally. Everytime, they would be looking at you accusingly or asking you some weird questions about why you were hiding things from them.
but , there was nothing to hide in the first place---- except for the celebration.
Only one week left and when you just wanted to go out finally to arrange the last things of the preparation. Doyoung blocked your way.
"You are not going anywhere."
"Huh?"
Jaehyun came up behind you and harshly pulled you to a particular direction, "your game is over, y/n. Just give up now. You can't hide anything from us now."
The other one walked just closely behind you, gun in his hand. "I can't believe you that after the things we did, only for you to betray us."
"Please Jaehyun...Trust me. you must be wrong somewhere. I am not hiding anything. I promise." Your voice was broken yet he was not glancing at you but dragging you towards the stairs. The grip on your wrist tightened when you tried to pull your hand away. The wrist was burning from his harsh grip.
There were two uncoordinated footsteps from behind you both and when the youngest of them spoke up, you glanced at them. Mark was trying to stop the leader from stepping forward but the latter was just fuming and when he caught your glistening eyes, he sent a glare at you.
"please..." you whimpered when he took the turn and stopped at the first step of the stairs. He inhaled sharply and glared at you before glancing at the leader.
"take her downstairs." He simply ordered and the latter nodded.
Mark held Jaehyun's other hand, "No. Don't. Please, we should listen to her. We must be wrong somewhere. Please don't take her there."
But he dragged you down, stumbling over a few places but he didn't care. No one cared at the moment. As if your voice was not even audible to their ears.
You have never been to this place before and the dark, dimly lit room with a damp smell was making churn in your stomach. The others were already present inside the room and their focus was on you— the helpless figure. He harshly pulled you towards the chair behind the interrogating desk and made you sit on it. Your head turned towards each one of them, no one was having any sympathy for you. Maybe they had but trying not to show it.
"Why are you doing this? Please get me out of here." tears were flowing down your cheek. Before you could wipe off your tears, Jungwoo gripped your wrist and tied them to the armrest. Winwin took away the phone from you and placed it on the table. Taeyong placed himself on the chair across from you and stared at your tied up form. Doyoung stood beside him, palm resting on the head of the leather chair.
"So, from where should we begin?"
You remained quiet. Not because you didn't want to talk but because you didn't know what to say. Mind still processing the situation and why they all were keeping you tied up like a criminal. Do they not trust you?
You stared at him with silent tears falling from your eyes. Jaehyun and Jungwoo stood beside you on both sides, neither of them speaking anything and not even looking at you. Only glancing now and then.
"How do you know Wooyoung?" the leader asked the first question and leaned forward on the table.
"Wooyoung?"
Doyoung tilted his head to the side, "yes. Even that day he gave you those flowers. Having good times with the enemy. Right, y/n?"
"Enemy? He is my old friend from university."
The leader was not buying your words, "our enemy is your friend now. Since when are you against us?"
"What are you saying, Taeyong? I would never. I..." you were almost spilling the secrets but held back the words that were about to come out from your lips, "we just recently reunited at the flower shop. He was just...helping me out with something."
"Helping you out to chalk out a plan to kill us?" Winwin offered you an option for your choice of words. You shook your head at him and returned to face the leader. He didn't have any emotions for you. No more those endearing smiles and caring eyes looking at you but a strong and accusing eyes blaming you for everything.
"No, it's not like that."
"There's no point in you lying on our face. You can't fight back, y/n. There's six of us and only, you alone."
You parted your lips and tried to shift forward when Jungwoo held you back. You raised your head to look at him but he just avoided your eyes. Does he hate me so much? "You all should understand this. I am alone, I can't do anything to harm you all and... I can never think of hurting any of you."
"Don't pretend to be the innocent one like always." Jaehyun spat at you. "It was all a facade to make us trust you. To make us weak for you so that you can easily break into our life and destroy us from the core."
"Jaehyun..." you whispered his name but a long silence followed your longing gaze on him. How could he blame you like this? They never used such a tone with you.
"He is correct. It was only you who knew about our absence for a whole week from the city and during that exact time, Ateez attacked our warehouse. Isn't this a coordinated plan?" Taeyong was irritated with each word coming out of his mouth.
"And you think I told him?"
Winwin caught your attention, "of course. The enemy whom we were tracking has his every location around you. His every location was colliding with yours. The flower shop belongs to them and it's just undercover to hide their spies in that busy street. Your activity was very frequent during the time of the blast."
"It must be a coincidence...I am not aware of all these." you plead to them for mercy but none of them were convinced. It all seemed as an act to break away from them and to run to their enemy for help.
"We thought that too but you have a deep connection with him. Even keeping your meet-ups a secret from us. Don't think of us like fools."
"Mark, you are a fool. All of you are foolish to think of me going against you. He is just my friend and we were just hanging out after some arrangements and if I knew he was the menber of a gang, I would never have spoken to him. But...but he won't hurt me or any of you. He doesn't even know you all are my boyfriends."
"Because for your benefit. So that you can go on dates with him." Jaehyun scoffed at the end of the sentence.
Taeyong slammed his hand to gain your attention back on him. His eyes were raging and he was fuming with anger. You flinched at the sound and scaredly turned towards him when he spoke up, "Now tell me, what do you want from us?"
You shook your head and bit your lips to prevent yourself breaking down more.
"I said speak up, y/n!"
Your broken voice and hiccups echoed the room, "I...I want n-nothing. I just want......your love."
"Shut up!"
"Jaehyun, keep quiet." Doyoung shushed the tall man beside you but you were already hurt too much. You were exhausted after crying so much, the unfamiliar and confined environment was suffocating you. You just wanted to get out of the place and run away, far away and hide from them. You were scared to say anything anymore or they could have done something more.
"You are going to stay here unless you are willing to tell the truth." Taeyong said and stood up to turn towards the door.
You shook your head frantically to not to leave you there. But no one minded your scared form. You were nothing more than a liar to them.
"Please listen to me..."
Jaehyun grabbed your cheeks, his fingers digging into your flesh, "you are only going to speak the truth or else shut your mouth." he harshly jerked your head to the side.
One by one everyone left the room except the one who was almost standing silently since he came here. He stayed back inside the room. When you noticed his gaze on you, there was a hurt look like that day.
"Why did you do this?"
"I did nothing."
He looked up at the ceiling and then at you, "then please confess the truth. I can't see you like this."
"I'm telling you the truth, Mark. he is just my friend. I didn't help him with anything."
Doyoung came back to the room to find the younger one standing at the door. He informed the younger one to stay with you, not to leave you alone down in the basement. He nodded his head in acceptance. You don’t know if It was because they told him to stay behind out of love or they think you could try to run away from them.
Mark actually wanted to stay with you though. He just can't leave you alone.
Doyoung stepped inside the room to take the phone from the table. When he came in sight of your vision, you looked away to avoid him. He waited for a moment but left the room eventually when you didn't look at him.
"Mark, don't get swayed by her?"
They had some whispering conversation outside the door and you zoned out to think about the day, how you were so excited to finally wrap the different gifts for them and then prepare the last arrangement because this last week was supposed to be spending time with them together. But everything went down the hill.
When Mark returned inside the room, he saw you sleeping on the chair uncomfortably. He stepped forward and tugged your hairs behind the ears to have a clear look of your face. You looked so peaceful but your face was stained with sweat and tears. He caressed your soft skin and tears fell from his eyes, he was sorry to you. He untied your wrists and pulled you on his lap on the floor. Resting your head against his chest, his fingers stroked you and he lulled you to sleep.
"I'm sorry, y/n."
.
.
.
The next two days were just you refusing all the foods they offered and you were getting weak. Even if they didn't hurt you physically, but their words, their hatred looks and their harsh and hurtful touches with their accusing tone was enough to break your every inch.
Doyoung didn't let you stay in the basement but kept you locked in his room. He promised his leader that he won't let you escape the house.
Just before the two days of your anniversary, they got an email from someone. It was labeled with a secret code so when they clicked on it, they found out that it was from someone unknown. They have sent some confidential documents. Jungwoo didn't waste any time before clicking open it only to get a shock. Everyone scooted closer to him.
'How is Y/n? Suspecting her now? Oh, poor girl. Don't worry. I will kill her soon anyways. '
There were all the details under the small links. Whatever they saw was right but the actual explanation to their assumption was what you were saying, not how they interpreted earlier. Wooyoung was just your friend, nothing more and he didn't have any intention to harm you or others. Ateez didn't even attack their base.
Then who is this person?
Is he alive?
Jaehyun threw the glass away in frustration.
"Where is this shit? I will kill him."
Winwin quickly followed some images, "the dreamies are trying to track the id. Hyuck is currently scanning the codes. but... I don't know why this person wants to kill her."
"I'm not leaving her alone for any more second."
Doyoung jogged towards the room only to find you sleeping beside the window stool. Taeyong followed him closely behind and he noticed the dried tears on your face and the other one was quick to pick you up in his arms, "y/n, look at me. You don't have to be here anymore. I'm taking you out of this place. I'm so sorry."
Your breathing was so faint and it scared him.
He peppered your face with kisses, you were so weak and exhausted. There was no reply from you and he shook your body again.
"She must be unconscious. Let's clean her up and let her rest for a while. When she wakes up, I will feed her." Taeyong offered him.
They both nodded and exited the room. Promising to themselves that they won't ever let you be in this sort of situation again.
When they appeared in front of the others, they saw your unconscious body in his hold. Their hearts clenched at the sight, the pain striking through their body.
How could they just blame you and act deaf ears to your pleadings?
"I'm coming with you." Mark approached him and took you in his arms before going towards his room with Doyoung trailing behind him.
Taeyong ordered Jungwoo and Winwin to contact Dreamies for further discussions about the situation and let others disperse to their respective activities.
No one was willing to leave your side but they had no option other than waiting for you to get consciousness. But Jaehyun quietly walked towards your room to take a glimpse of you.
He was hesitating to enter the room but eventually stepped inside and found them inside the bathroom. They were carefully looking after you.
"Is she okay?"
His sudden voice made the two males turn their head towards him, "of course she is. We are here to keep her safe."
After a while, you were dressed in a pair of comfortable top and loose pants. Mark carefully tugged you in the bed before sitting beside your sleeping figure and caressing the hairs, Doyoung sat near your legs and Jaehyun kept his distance from the bed.
"Let her rest for a while. Taeyong will bring her the food."
They all left the room but Jaehyun went near to you and caressed your head, kissing your temple he whispered, “I’m so sorry, love.”
After a while when you woke up, only to find Taeyong sitting by your side with medicines and food placed on the table that he pulled beside the bed. Your head was spinning a bit but still he helped you sit up and placed the pillow behind you to make you comfortable. Before you could say anything, he caressed your head and smiled at you, following a kiss to the side of your head.
"I'm sorry, Y/n. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I was so wrong about you."
You remained quiet and just observed how he lifted the bowl from the table and stirred the soup, tasting a spoonful and turning towards you with a spoon.
"Why?"
"What do you mean?"
"y-you are not mad at me anymore? Please trust me-"
He put the spoon back into the bowl and placed a finger on your lips, "I trust you. Y/n, I love you. I'm regretting treating you like that. It hurts you a lot to see us blaming you for something you didn't do. But I promise you, you will never have to be like this again. I will make this up to you."
"Really? And others...Are they?"
"they are equally sorry, y/n. we just couldn't help but think all that......why were you at the shop though?" he quickly asked you the thing that was still bugging his mind.
"Um...you will know soon. It's a secret." You expectantly stared at him to see his reaction but he just smiled when he brought the spoon to your lips. You quickly parted open your lips to taste the spoon and hummed in the wonderful warm taste. It melted on your tongue like you were melting under his touch.
"I won't ever hurt you."
"I know, Taeyong. You have so much responsibility but I think I made you scared going out here and there. But trust me it's a good secret, nothing to worry about."
"Can't you tell me now?" he pouted and blinked at you.
"No. Then what's the point of the secret?"
"Is this about-"
Someone entered the room and he was quick to sit on your other side and hugged you from the side.
"I'm so sorry baby. Please forgive me. I don't want you to stay away from me." he nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck and your fingers entangled with his hairs when he leaned to your body more. Taeyong was still making sure to finish the soup and shook his head at the boy clinging onto you.
"Hey, Mark. It's okay. I was just shocked with you all behaving like that." You said slowly and he nodded, muttering a flow of apologies. The leader wiped your mouth when you finished the food and handed you the medicine to take but when you refused it. Both of them tickled you and joked around and ended up with Mark holding you down on the bed and the oldest one putting inside the medicine and handing you the glass.
Three of you spent some time together before Taeyong left when he caught a call from Jungwoo and he hugged you before pressing a long and soft kiss on your temple then hurrying to take the call. Where you and Mark ended up cuddling together.
"That night..." he was spooning you while your back was pressed against his chest and his one leg was flung upon yours. His fingers were playing with yours when you both were watching the screen displaying a movie.
You hummed in response, "you made me sleep on your lap. I woke up from a nightmare but I felt so secure with you. Thank you."
"I love you. I love you so much baby."
"I love you more, mark." You turned around and cupped his face. Your eyes searched for a particular emotion before pressing your lips to his. He was surprised by your move but when you tried to pull away your face, he held the back of your neck and pulled you closer, making the kiss rough and passionate. Both fighting for dominance but still enjoying the power of each other. You smiled and squirmed when he slid his hand under your tee. His kisses traveled down to your jaw and sloppily kissed your cheek. Admiringly, watching each other, he dipped his head down and bit the soft flesh of your neck, he groaned when you moaned his name. When he hooked a finger with the band of your shorts, you held his wrist.
He quickly stopped his actions and looked at you, cupping your cheeks and shock visible on his face. You chuckled at his reaction and he worriedly asked you, "Is there something wrong?"
It's not like you haven't done this before with him but there was something for which you wanted to wait.
"Can you wait for one more day?"
"Before our anniversary?"
You nodded and he smiled before pecking your lips.
"Of course, I can."
.
.
.
The day before the celebration. You asked them if you could go out. They felt as if they did something wrong that you were taking permission like a child. You bit your lips and stared at them when they were all similarly staring back at you.
Taeyong broke the awkward moment, "I think someone should speak."
"You did just now."
He glared at Jaehyun, who looked away holding back his laugh. The others snickered and you laughed loudly. All of their attention turned back at your standing figure in an elegant knee length dress.
"You all can go with me."
"We?" Winwin asked you and you quickly nodded.
"So?"
They all looked at each other before agreeing and stood up. The one that was hesitant to come near you was Jaehyun. When they all walked towards the door, conversing and joking among them, he remained at the same place. He felt someone entangled a hand with his and when he looked down at his side, you were smiling brightly at him.
"Let's go, my prince."
"Y/n...you.."
You pulled him towards the door. But he was staring at you like a lost man, who knew nothing other than the directions you would give him. He smiled when he noticed the dress you were wearing was the one he gave you on your birthday last time.
"I'm trying to forget about that day so please don't remind me."
He stopped in his track and you turned towards him, "what happe-"
He pressed his lips to yours. He was laughing between the kisses when you were trying to say something. He pulled apart and you glared at him before looking at your appearance on the phone screen.
"you ruined my lipstick."
"I would have ruined you but it's okay coz it's just the lipstick for now."
"Jae..." you groaned but he grabbed your chin softly and other hand quickly went up , a finger wiping away the smudged out portion and then patted your cheek with the clean fingers.
"you look beautiful like always."
Doyoung came back and pulled you both towards the car.
The car ride was fun. Except for Jungwoo clinging onto your side ans asking you the same question repeatedly, "why can't we know the secret now? Please, y/n."
"I am surprised all of you are in a gang."
Taeyong chuckled, "don't add him. He doesn't do anything other than hacking and intruding other's business from his private place."
He scoffed in reply, "at least I keep company with our girl. Right?"
You nodded. It's not like they were not serious with their job. When the work mode is on, you wouldn't even match the people who are the same with the ones you are currently laughing with. Even you get scared. Okay, last time you really got.
Arriving at the mall, you quickly got out of the car to make a quick call with your friend. You told her to receive the perfumes and flowers from the shop tomorrow morning and keep them in the café. You wanted to celebrate your anniversary at the café and your friend was helping you to get all the orders ready for tomorrow so that today, you can spend your day with the boys.
You bought a lot of things, some necessary and some unnecessary. Jungwoo was with you and others went off to other places.
"you are buying us gifts but not letting us buy for you."
"tomorrow."
"Why? I can buy it today. Wait, I can buy for you everyday."
"Don't show off." You turned around to look at the dress when he picked one from the other row and handed it to you, "wear this tomorrow. This is so perfect."
"are you serious? Do you know my size?"
He smirked and bent to whisper in your ears, "I know every inch and curves how they would fit them and how it would be easy to rip off."
Your eyes went round and you hit his arm when he burst out laughing, "Jungwoo!"
You snatched the dress and walked towards the trial room and when you put on the dress, it seemed like it was the one for you. As if They will marry you tomorrow. Marriage...
Jungwoo knocked at the door and when you opened it, he pushed you inside and locked the door behind.
"what happened?"
"I don't want others to get to see you before me." his gaze moved and his breath hitched. You were looking more beautiful than he projected an imagery picture of you in the dress in his mind.
He pecked your lips and then your temple, "you look like mine. I love you, y/n."
"Always yours. I love you so much Jungwoo."
Done with the things you wanted to buy. Jungwoo went to where Jaehyun was and you were alone walking through the newborn section and smiling. You picked up a pink baby wrap towel and someone back hugged you.
"why are you buying this?" his deep voice sent a shiver down your body.
"I am not buying...just watching... they are so cute. Look at this, Taeyong."
He pressed a kiss on your cheek, "We can someday when we will have a baby."
You turned around when his arms dropped down, "it will be soon."
He smirked to see the excitement on your face, he tugged your hairs before raising a brow, "so am I getting the hint to spend some time with me and then we can expand our family. You and I and our daughter."
"you want a girl?"
"I'm fine with both but to have a girl. I love the idea of mini you running around the house and us all chasing her around."
You hugged him tightly, "I love you, Taeyong."
"I love you too, my princess."
"Wait for tomorrow, please."
"Of course."
.
.
You all went home after almost buying the whole mall and Jaehyun was casually showing off and showing smirks that he brought the costliest items. Oh boy! How wrong he is. He should just see the expenses of Taeyong. Winwin whispered to you that he would be sleeping with you because both of you haven't spent a night together. You agreed quickly.
After the dinner when you were going towards the room, Winwin asked you to go with him to the garden and of course, you would.
"So why are we here?" you were staring up at the sky while sitting on the outdoor swing with him by your side.
"I'm sorry." He muttered quietly.
"I know."
He turned towards you and shook his head, "don't forgive us so easily, y/n. we don't deserve it."
"Then don't say sorry. Stop reminding me about that. Think about tomorrow and let us enjoy the night."
He caressed your head, " you are the sweetest one. The innocent one in our life and I don't want to hurt you but still I did."
"And I forgive you."
He sadly chuckled and pulled you closer, "Can you tell me the secret for tomorrow?"
You stared at him and waited if he wanted to say something but when he didn't, you kissed his cheek and smiled, "No. You have to wait."
"Are you planning a surprise? For us?"
"Maybe...or something more than you can expect."
He furrowed his brows when you caressed his cheek softly, "see...you are the innocent one now."
"really?" he grabbed your neck and pulled you in for a hungry and deep kiss. You were laughing and clutching his shirt. His other hand was caressing your back and hands, melting you under his control. He pulled apart and started panting for air.
"And now?"
"still the innocent." As the words left your mouth, he swept you in his arms and turned round and round. Both of your laughs echoed in the garden.
"I love you...I love you...I love you, My innocent girl."
"I love you too, my innocent boy."
Your teasing made him tickle you in his hold and you laughed out more.
Taeyong was watching you from his balcony with the wine in his hand. He was smiling ear to ear seeing you so happy.
He would keep you safe till the end.
.
.
.
Finally THE DAY.
Winwin woke you up, calling out your name lightly and keeping you close to him. He peppered your face with kisses and you were giggling all the way when he scooped you in his arms and took you to the bathroom to get ready. You looked at the mirror and felt so happy, quickly did your morning routine before running down the stairs to greet your boys. But you could only find Doyoung at the table preparing the plates and decorating it with the final touch.
The house looked amazing.
"Don't tell me you all did this within a night."
"Then What do you think? You were blind to not notice it till yesterday?"
You reached near the table and when you went to pick up a pancake, he swatted your hand away and you whined.
"Let others come. No eating before greeting."
"No greetings to you."
You turned around and folded your hands above your chest, he chuckled and with slow steps went behind you and snaked his arms around, resting his head on your shoulder.
"Happy Anniversary, My love." He kissed your shoulder, the deep round neckline of the dress gave him access to your soft flesh. Your hairs were tied up and he kissed the crook of your neck and his teeth grazing the skin and licking the jaw, "I love you, y/n."
"Doyoung, I love you. Happy Anniversary."
He turned you around to kiss you. His kisses are always soft and takes his whole time to devour the moment. Just like now, he didn't care what others will see but he just wanted to show you his love for you.
You were smiling all the while but the sweet moment got interrupted by the one who could enter the place without any sound but to disturb you both, he purposely made sounds.
"Did I interrupt something?"
"Yes. My love life." Doyoung spat at him and groaned but didn't let you go when the other one laughed and came near you.
You pulled apart from the kiss and looked at Taeyong. The other one was back hugging you and nuzzling his nose into your neck.
Taeyong cupped your cheek, "happy anniversary, princess."
"Happy anniversary girl's dad."
"Huh?"
"Nothing." You laughed out and noticed Jungwoo and Winwin entering the place when one of them muttered a quiet happy anniversary to you because he was always shy in front of others but the other one had to make it dramatic.
"Everyone. Present here. Wait two are missing."
All of you were watching his stupid act, standing on the chair. He craned his neck to look at the stairs and waited for a few seconds before Mark and Jaehyun walked down with bright smiles on their faces.
"Okay here we have Mark and Jaehyun. Then We have Winwin at the table. Mr. Taeyong and Doyoung with our special girl, y/n." He stepped forward to you and took out a flower and kissed it before extending it to you, " a token of love for my precious soul."
"Thank you. Happy Anniversary to my dramatic love."
"Happy Anniversary, y/n." He pulled you away from the one hugging you and stepped towards the table.
You sat between Jaehyun and Mark and they both greeted you following with a smile and soft kiss. Doyoung cut a piece of the pancake and brought it to your lips. You chuckled and quickly ate it.
"Are these all for me?"you asked them.
"Yes. All for the special one." Mark excitedly said and kissed your cheek.
Winwin cleared his throat from across the table, "so what should we do today?"
"Give her the gifts."Mark proposed the idea but you quickly shook your head.
"No not now. My surprise is still left."
"Wait. Yeah, the secret. So tell me." Winwin happily nodded and stared at you.
"No. Get dressed. We are going to my cafe and then everything will be revealed."
"Promise?"
"Of course, Doyoung."
They all quickly dressed up in some denims or leathers but of course they were looking fine individually. You couldn't take your eyes from one of them. Are you even matching with them?
You looked down at your dress and Jungwoo grabbed your shoulders to face them.
"How is she looking?"
The moment their gaze fell on you, everyone stopped, everything was still, a look of adoration and love painted across their faces. They approached where you were shyly looking away when Jungwoo was keeping you in place.
"You look like my queen, love." Taeyong took your hand and kissed the back of your hand. Jaehyun kissed the side of your head and pulled you towards him, "well, we have something more to say but let's go to the cafe first."
"Then let's go."
It didn't take much time to reach the destination but as soon as you stepped inside the door. You started to feel nervous and that did get noticed by them. They were mesmerized by the wonderful decoration that you did and planned for the day. Somewhere, they felt sorry to even blame you for keeping secrets for this. Doyoung didn't leave your hand when you were showing around the details you organized which perfectly matched all six of their likings but the moment they came across the pink box with a letter on top of it. You stopped them.
"Wait!"
They all turned towards you.
"There's something I want to tell you."
Taeyong smiled at you, "go ahead."
"No. First you gave me the surprise and then I did so now it's your turn to tell me first and then I will. How about this?"
Mark smiled and approached you, hugging you from behind and then you noticed Taeyong pulling out a box from his leather jacket.
"Woah! What's that?"
"It's-"
“Y/n!”
“Y/n!”
"Y/n!"
You knew your friend's voice and when you heard her screaming from outside, you ran towards the door and pushed it open.
The boys shouted out your name but you didn't listen and searched for your friend outside the cafe.
There was no one.
No one on the silent and peaceful afternoon street. You felt weird because you were so sure that you heard your friend call out for you so many times.
Are you hearing things?
You felt someone watching you. You looked in each direction but you couldn't see anyone. The boys already exited the cafe.
"Who was there?" Winwin asked while looking around.
"I heard my friend calling for me."
"Then where is she?"
"I don't know."
Doyoung stepped in front of you and held your wrist, "let's go inside. Maybe she was fooling around."
You nodded and turned around with them.
But the moment you took a step.
All of you heard a gunshot.
What happened?
"Ah...D-doyoung."
"Y/n!"
As soon as they saw you, blood was flowing out of your chest. You got shot? Who shot you? They frantically looked around but there was no one in their sight. Doyoung sat on his knees when he felt your limp body leaning on him.
"It's okay, y/n. I will save you. Just wait for a while. We will take you to the hospital soon."
He held your hand when Mark was searching for a way to stop the flow of blood. But his mind was not working and processing the things to do.
The day started with so much joy and love but suddenly what just happened?
Both of the men by your side were scared. Scared to lose you. You were fighting back the urge to seep into sleep but clutched his hand tightly to stay awake. Mark was repeatedly telling you to keep your eyes open.
"Baring the car. Do it fast." Taeyong pushed Jaehyun towards the car but you weakly called out their names and asked them to come to you.
"Just take her to the hospital. Now!"
"Mark. No...I-i don't think I can make it."
"No no y/n. You can." He pressed your hand, which was clutching your chest.
"Taeyong, tell me what you wanted to say. Please"
"Let's go to the hospital."
you shook your head and looked at Winwin, "Can you bring me the pink box? please..." you coughed. Jaehyun already went to bring the car and you were clutching Doyoung's hand tightly. tears escaping your eyes even though you didn't want to cry. Winwin jogged inside the cafe and quickly he picked up the note and the box and wasting no more time, he went towards you.
"Get inside." Jaehyun opened the door for you all.
"Taeyong, tell me please."
he was hesitant to tell you at that moment but wasting unnecessary time means risking your life more. your breath was heaving and Mark was trying his best to keep you awake. Winwin approached the scene and when you noticed him, you weakly smiled at him.
But Taeyong pulled out the black box from his jacket and opened it. your glistening eyes blinked slowly, everything was blur, you could feel a small thing placed on your palm. Taeyong took your hand away from Doyoung's shirt.
you brought the thing closer to you.
It's a ring.
before you could say anything. you all entered the care. you were still looking at the ring. When Jungwoo noticed your fixed gaze on the ring and your grip was about to loosen. He curled your fingers and held your fist tightly.
Taeyong held back his tears and weakly said from the passenger seat, "we were going to ask you to marry us. A proposal ring."
you heard them. you wanted to say a lot of things but you couldn't. you wanted to say something else at the moment.
"Winwin, give the box to Taeyong." he was quick to follow your words. Jaehyun was often glancing at you from the rear mirror and to the front. their base hospital is a bit far away and they couldn't risk you reaching there so whatever problem they have to face, they were going to if they had to go to the city hospital.
Winwin kept the note in his hand and it was shaking in his hold.
"trust me...i love you......" you weakly whispered but the one holding you heard it.
"Y/n...y/n...don't close your eyes...please..hey stay awake."
you didn't open your eyes.
nor you were clutching his hand.
"y/n..."
"drive faster!" Taeyong almost shouted at him.
Mark hesitatingly asked, "what's inside the box?"
Taeyong stared at it for a while and then when he opened it. A tear dropped inside the box. Jaehyun's breath hitched and looked at you but your eyes were closed.
"Y/n...baby..."
aren't you going to smile at him? atleast for the last time.
Congratulations! It's a girl.'
Mark snatched the box from him and his eyes went wide. he urged the other to open the note and there it was, you have ranted everything like always and in the end,
'I collected some flowers for each day after I got the news of pregnancy. I could tell you earlier but I wanted to say it on a special day. I am not hiding anything from you except this. Just trust me. I want to give it to you all as a surprise.'
Jungwoo brought your hand to his lips to plant a kiss.
Doyoung pressed a kiss on your temple, "I trust you."
Are you just going to leave them now?
They won’t trust anything anymore when you didn’t even say the final goodbye.
Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated. Spread love not hate. If my favoritism is showing with some members then please try to understand oz they are my bias.
Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @hwanring @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon @hyuukah @kazscara @aceofspadesbiofalltrades @nvdhrzn @meowmeeps @vtyb23 @haechansbbg
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#kvanity#nct#nct x reader#nct u#nct angst#nct fluff#nct taeyong#nct doyoung#nct jaehyun#nct winwin#nct jungwoo#nct mark#poly nct#nct fanfic#nct scenarios#nct imagines#nct u x reader#taeyong x reader#doyoung x reader#jung jaehyun x reader#wayv winwin#winwin x reader#jungwoo x reader#mark x reader#nct hard thoughts#nct hard hours#nct mafia fic#nct mafia au
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Very Rarely Do Men Know How to Be Altogether Good or Altogether Wicked
The last five minutes of today's episode left my mouth gaping, it really felt like I was watching a catastrophic accident happen in front of me and I just couldn't look away.
I wasn't completely sure on how Sand was going to learn about Ray and Mew's history, but I sure wasn't expecting that Ray's feelings would be exposed in such a volatile way. Maybe I’m in the minority here, I’m not exactly sure because I’m seeing a mixed bag of reactions, but I don’t necessarily agree that Sand ever needed to find out about Ray’s feelings for Mew. Much less from Boston.
This is partially going to be a bit of a continuation of my thoughts that Boston has a Machiavellian personality, followed up with SandRay's relationship becoming the unsuspecting 'victim'. Again, I'll be using pulling from Machiavelli's The Prince, but I'm also using his work Discourses on Livy. [Title credit to ch. 27 of Discourses]
Boston, still the Machiavellian 'Prince'
“Another difficulty to be added to the one mentioned above is that a state that becomes free creates for itself enemies rather than friends.”
― Niccolò Machiavelli, Discourses on Livy
Let me be upfront, I don't hate Boston, I actually enjoy the chaos he brings, but he's a fascinating character to break down and really analyze his actions. The last five minutes was, in my opinion, the most chaos that he has caused out in the open. This was never a situation of Boston 'saying what needed to be said.' This was Boston seeing an opportunity to take control of someone and doing so by unfairly outing Ray's feelings. I, again, stand by the idea that Boston is not a narcissist, but rather a Machiavellian personality type. This doesn't make him a 'villain'; Only Friends does a good job at showing that there are no villains in real life, just incredibly shitty people. Boston is simply a dick, who chooses to play with his friends to feel a sense of control when he doesn't have it. Has he ever cared for his friends? Does he keep them around simply for convenience? Hard to say. That doesn't make him evil, it just makes him a first-class jackass.
In my post where I had stated that he was more of a Machiavellian rather than narcissist, I came to the conclusion that, 'In his viewpoint, he is the kingpin, even in his group of friends, because he believes that he's the one that controls how his friends move since he knows how Mew is developing feelings for Top and is aware of Ray's feelings for Mew.' This time around, he practically admits it right after purposefully revealing Ray's feelings for Mew, "I just want to keep track of my best friends' romantic moments.' Boston hoards information so that he can throw it in people's faces when it fits him the best, there's no 'good intentions' on his keeping tabs on his friends.
Boston knows that TopMew are going to sleep together, they're serious and he's out of the running. Is it simply ego or is it because of self-interest? Whatever the catalyst is, he essentially has nothing holding him back anymore. He's seeing his "friends" getting "serious", while he's out there dealing with known (and unknown) filming of one-night stands he had being used as revenge porn. That'd hurt and anger anyone, but from what has been shown, Boston thrives off of control and so having his sex life used against him would feel like an even bigger blow. They're minor events that are snowballing and Boston likely needs to feel that control again. It's why he pushes Nick down without a second thought when Nick is trying to pull him away (opposed to how Ray lets Sand pull him back). So he claims that control back, he deliberately reveals what he knows, purposefully taking Ray down with him. While he may be feeling like shit, at least he'll be better off than Ray, who's left to pick up the pieces.
Sand and Ray, the intentional destruction of the 'kingdom'
“In general you must either pamper people or destroy them; harm them just a little and they’ll hit back; harm them seriously and they won’t be able to. So if you’re going to do people harm, make sure you needn’t worry about their reaction.”
― Niccolò Machiavelli, The Prince
Yes, Sand and Ray are in a “situationship.” Yes, they’re constantly getting both physically and emotionally closer. Yes, Sand is developing feelings for Ray (arguably vice versa too). But that’s it. They started off as friends with benefits and while they’ve been shifting around, neither one has fully crossed that line. There was no defined area in the relationship, at least not before the implosion. They’re barely getting to know each other, Sand even calls Ray out because he knew that Ray had never noticed him before, not in a way other than just the Bar Performer.
Ray is working through who he is without Mew, without his crush on Mew. He's come to the realization that while he put Mew as his #1 for many years, he's knows he's not that for Mew, and is slowly coming to the realization that he may have never been. These are his feelings to work out and his alone. Sand and Ray are first and foremost friends, as they had agreed upon and they happen to hook up often. This was what they agreed upon. Even if one or both of them are catching feelings, it does not mean that Ray has an automatic obligation to come clean to Sand.
Arguably, Boston was unaware of this set up, but honestly he didn't need to know. This was not his business, Boston didn't suddenly spill the fact that Ray has had feelings for Mew for years to look out for Sand. No, this was an intentional hit on Ray, where he was positive that it would hurt. Boston has repeatedly used Ray's feelings for Mew for his own convenience (Exhibit A: Meddling at the pool party), whether it be to get Ray to react in a certain way or to have a punching bag. He knew how defensive and reactive Ray would get when he brought up RayMew's kiss and supposed sex (was this ever confirmed?) that they had.
Boston speaks in definite presumptions when he talks about others, he does this to Top and he did it to Ray. He spins realities to how he sees fit and with the confidence that he speaks in, he makes others believe him. It's why Mew never questioned that Top is accustomed to sleeping around and didn't think that Top really wanted anything more than sex, because that's what Boston specifically told him that Top was like. It's why now Sand believes that he has no hour in Ray's life, even when Ray gives him the opening to ask more, because Boston purposefully spoke in definite terms. Even the most secure person would be left feeling unsure and unbalanced.
So when Sand, who knows that their relationship is based on being friends with benefits, is confronted with words from Ray's supposed friend who explicitly states that Ray is in love with Mew and that he's being used as a rebound, what else can he do but believe that?
What little trust and rapport that they had started to build up has come crumbling down. They're frantically gathering the pieces of a 'kingdom' that has been turn into dust, the aftermath of the Prince's wrath. It's why Ray scrambles for the bottle and it's why Sand shuts down. How can they react to what Boston did, when they're struggling to salvage the little remnants left behind of what was supposed to be a blossoming relationship?
#only friends#only friends meta#only friends ep 5#only friends the series#sandray#ofts ray#ofts boston#ray pakorn#ofts#raysand#sandray meta#raysand meta#boston meta#ofts meta#thai bl#gmmtv bl#bl meta#thai bl meta#only friends ep 5 meta#ray meta#sand meta#sand x ray#ray x sand#I meant to make a post about Ray and the Golem Effect but I can’t stop thinking of the fallout Boston instigated
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You Don't Have to Wait Forever | Kim Hongjoong
Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x Reader
Request: No.
Synopsis: Y/N wasn't expecting running into her ex would reveal her finding love with her best friend.
Warnings: Mentions of cheating. Best friends to lovers. Angst to start with.
Word Count: 841
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Likes, Comments & Reblogs are welcomed and appreciated.
Exiting the KQ building, Y/N is filled with happiness as she excitedly chats with Hongjoong about the upcoming song for ATEEZ’s next album that he’s been working hard on. As an assistant for the Edenry team, she gets a firsthand experience of the creative process involved in writing and producing a song.
However, her happiness quickly fades as she suddenly stops in her tracks. Approaching her is someone who, not even three weeks ago, had his arm around her, looking at her the same way he now gazes at the new woman in his arms.
Hongjoong notices the change in Y/N's demeanour and looks at her with confusion. He follows her gaze and sees the cause of her distress - her ex-boyfriend, who ended their relationship just two weeks ago. The ex-boyfriend stares back, his eyes filled with a mixture of surprise and guilt, causing Hongjoong to roll his eyes in annoyance. He knows that her ex is aware of where she works and has no valid reason to be in this part of town.
As the realization of their breakup sinks in, Y/N's heart sinks with it. The memories of their relationship now feel tainted by the betrayal she had been blind to. After the breakup her friends mentioned the possibility of another woman, but she brushed them off, convinced her ex wouldn't stoop so low to cheat on her. Now seeing the truth, that her friends had been right, the signs of his cheating were clearer than ever. The signs had been there all along, hidden beneath the facade of fading love.
Hongjoong, sensing her inner turmoil, places an arm around her and squeezes her shoulder gently. His silent gesture reassures her that she is not alone, as he stares down the new couple with a determined gaze.
Her ex, to his credit, appears ashamed as his guilt-ridden eyes shift from Y/N to the ground. On the other hand, the woman beside him exudes an air of smug satisfaction, tightening her grip on Y/N's ex's arm and wearing a victorious smile.
"Jagiya, how about we try out that new restaurant for lunch," Hongjoong says loudly for all to hear as his arm moves from her shoulder to her waist, pulling her closer. "You know the one that you told Seonghwa you wanted to try."
Y/N looks at him, stunned and confused but she puts a on a smile and nods her head. "That sounds perfect."
As they walk away from the awkward situation, Y/N feels a wave of gratitude towards Hongjoong. His unwavering support and protective nature mean so much to her.
“I’m sorry,” Y/N apologizes as they eat their meals at the restaurant Hongjoong had mentioned. She’d been a little surprised that Seonghwa had mentioned to him that she wanted to try this restaurant.
“For what? Seeing your ex again? You don’t have to be sorry about that,” he assures her.
“He just took me by surprise. When he broke up with me all he said was that he didn’t love me anymore. I’m so stupid, I should have known there was more to it. She’s so pretty. No wonder he cheated with her.”
“I think she’s pretty average,” he tells her with a shrug. “You’re way prettier than her and he’s a fool. I don’t get it. If you were mine, I would never cheat on you. I wouldn’t even think about it.”
Y/N's widened eyes widened as her cheeks flush red unable to find words to say.
"I'm not saying, give me a chance right now. You still need to heal, but when you're ready and if you want to, I'm here and waiting," he says reaching over to take her hand in his. "I'd wait forever for you."
"I'm not saying, give me a chance right now. You still need time to heal, but when you're ready and if you want to, I'm here and waiting," he says reaching over to take her hand in his. "I'd wait forever for you."
Y/N's heart began pounding in her chest, thoughts racing around in her mind as she tries to process his words. She and Hongjoong have always been close since they met three years ago. He had quickly become one of her closest friends. There had maybe been a time or two where she questioned why she was with her ex and not him. Maybe it had been because her ex was familiar and safe. They'd been together since they were 18. He'd been her first love. They had their future planned together. Hongjoong was vastly different. And as soon as those thoughts entered her mind, they quickly left.
She could feel the warmth of his touch seeping into her skin, calming her racing heart. As she looks into his eyes, she sees a sincerity that she had never seen before in his eyes. In that moment, she knew that she didn't want to dwell on her ex and what he had done.
Without hesitation, she intertwines their fingers together. In that simple gesture, she knew that she was making the right choice, choosing to embrace the love that was right in front of her all along.
Smiling at him lovingly, she says, "You don't have to wait forever."
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#kim hongjoong#kim hongjoong x reader#hongjoong x reader#ateez#ateez x reader#ateez fics#hongjoong fics#kim hongjoong fics#kim hongjoong x y/n#hongjoong#hongjoong x y/n#ateez x y/n#kim hongjoong imagines#kim hongjoong scenarios#ateez imagines#ateez scenarios#kim hongjoong x female!reader#kim hongjoong x fem!reader#kim hongjoong x female reader#hongjoong x female!reader#hongjoong x fem!reader#hongjoong x female reader#ateez x fem!reader#ateez x female reader#atz#atz x reader#atz imagines#ateez hongjoong#ateez hongjoong x reader#ateez hongjoong x y/n
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this fic contains spoilers for the mighty nein reunion: echoes of the solstice. please read at your own discretion.
There is celebration, cheers and drinking and the spectacle of fey magic as the quaint homes of Blumenthal are put back together. Glasses are clinked and songs are sung and throughout it all, Caleb is keeping expert track of the minutes. He lets his friends, heroes, each of them, have their revelry as long as he dares.
They sleep in the tower, and first thing in the morning, he uses the boy as an excuse. Luc needs to go home. Veth will be out of her mind with worry. A teleport to Nicodranas, another to Zadash. Caduceus offers to stay and help Beau and Yasha look into the mystical misgivings after the solstice, though everyone knows his role will be in making sure that the two of them see the better part of a pillow every now and again. Caleb will be back to aid in the effort. There is somewhere he needs to go first.
He sees pacing through the curtains as he appears in the front garden of the little cottage. It almost makes him smile. He makes it up the few steps to the front porch, and then the door is wrenched open and he is yanked inside. "For the love of the Light!"
Caleb can barely breath against the knit of Essek's sweater. "Guten morgen," he says, muffled.
"Three days, Caleb Widogast. Three days." Caleb swings backward as Essek holds him at arm's length, an unusual wild look in his eye. "You run off with Beauregard to save the world, and for three days I do not know if you survived." Essek runs a shaking hand through his hair. "Why could I not send to you, what is going on—" Essek cuts himself off as curious recognition sparks in his face. "Something...happened."
And Caleb can do nothing but laugh. It starts quiet, a humorless chuckle, but then it overtakes him, growing louder and louder until it is something deafening, something monstrous. Vaguely, Caleb is aware that Essek is watching him with profound concern, but he can't stem the tide of violent laughter that has him doubled over in the tiny entryway of this cottage.
"Caleb..."
When Essek speaks, lost and afraid, it is suddenly very, very not funny anymore. The laughter quiets, but Caleb remains with his hands on his knees, too exhausted to stand back up. A hand, fingers long and sure, runs up and down the curve of his spine.
Something happened.
"I don't know where to begin."
Essek lets the whisper hang ominously in the air for a few moments. "Shall we begin with tea?"
And they do. Caleb is shuffled to the sofa, cats shooed out of the way, and Essek fills a kettle and prestidigitates the water to boiling. As the tea steeps, Caleb begins with where it all went wrong, because it is easier to think about what happened on Marquet than the horror he faced back in his hometown. When he speaks of the magic collar, of the shackle meant for Ludinus and used on him, Essek's fingers come to brush along the side of his neck, as if he could will away the feeling of stone on his skin and cold in his bones.
When he has described the horrible shunting across Exandria and the subsequent gathering of the Nein, he speaks of the magic mouths, of the words Trent Ikithon left to haunt him, the specter even Jester's magic could not turn. Essek's hand grips his with strength that would put Yasha to shame. "Caleb..."
Caleb almost doesn't tell him. There is no need for Essek to know, no need for a new worry when the threat has already been handled. But Caleb has kept so much from so many for so long, and well he knows that the most important part of loving someone is the bravery it requires.
"He spoke of going to the Bright Queen," he says quietly. He watches the warm amethyst of Essek's cheeks blanche to lavender. "He threatened to turn you in, because he knew that the best way to hurt me would be to hurt the person I love the most."
There is a long pause, and then Essek sets down his teacup, the liquid inside long gone cold, brings his hand up to cup Caleb's face. His fingers gently scratch into his scruff, and not for the first time, Caleb wishes he could purr like a cat in sunlight. "I would let him drag me by the ears before my queen if it meant you were spared even a moment of his torment. You know that, don't you?"
And he does. It is a wild, magical knowing, a certainty unlike anything he has experienced. He presses his face into Essek's palm. "I'm glad he said it. Even after all this time, all of the work I have done within myself to forgive the sins of my past...I must admit, it was...rattling. His voice, the memories it evoked, the ghost of his hands on my skin.
"But then he spoke the word Shadowhand, and it was all gone. The pain, the shame, the fear. All that was left was rage, and the need to free Exandria of his influence."
"And did you?"
And so Caleb continues on with his tale, the illusion of a familiar farmhouse, the use of a wish to protect his best friend's son, the sight of his family home for the first time since he was a boy. He stops himself mid-word as the memory of his parents, dead, reanimated, puppeted by the worst person Caleb has ever known, nearly knocks him from this place, from this moment. But there is still a hand in his, and the tightening fingers keep him where he belongs.
Essek listens to the whole story with rapt attention, clearly straining to keep his myriad emotions from his face. But Caleb knows him well enough by now to pick out the shock, the horror, the disgust, even the barely-contained smile at the thought of a one Caleb morphed into a dinosaur and the other into a massive white dragon. Caleb spares no detail when describing the implausible feats of his friends, giving Beauregard the full credit for wrenching the artifact from the demonic entity summoned by Ikithon, and after recounting tossing the thing into a demiplane, Caleb says, "When it was over, all I could think about was coming back here to you. If I weren't so tapped out on magic, I would have been here last night."
"Come here." Caleb allows himself to be dragged along the back of the sofa, Essek's arms tight around his chest. For the first time in three days, he is not afraid that at any moment, his very atoms will scatter into a million directions. He buries his face into Essek's chest, lets his love hook his chin over his head and whisper, "I do not know what this solstice has wrought upon our world. But I know that I'm very grateful that neither it nor that man took you from it. From me."
There are no more words left. There is nothing Caleb can say, for all his reading, for all the magic incantations he has memorized, to convey the depth of his relief that, contrary to what he may have intoned to Beau, he did not die on the land his parents lost their lives on. There is no telling what horrors are yet to come, nor what they may demand of Caleb and his friends, but he will not begrudge himself this quiet moment in his love's arms, not after these last three days.
#cr spoilers#critical role#critical role fic#cr fic#mighty nein#mighty nein fic#shadowgast#shadowgast fic#my fic
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Especially after the last chapter(15-2) people are confused why Souichi keeps saying they're not in a relationship. Let me tell you, it's not that he doesn't think that they are in a relationship, he just doesn't want other people to know that.
I know I've answered asks about when they started dating before but I don't think I've actually gone into detail about this so here we go again lol
They've been dating since the end of volume 8 and he is 100% aware of it. Souichi is just a lying liar who lies so he's not going to admit that to people unless it's absolutely necessary, but he knows it.
The #1 rule to remember when reading KSB: Souichi is a tsundere character.
Now let me quote from wikipedia about tsunderes:
"They usually play out as having an attitude toward the main character, either a male or a female, and often criticizing them in one way or another, until they eventually warm up to them or fall in love with them as the series progresses, though they usually find it very hard to admit it or outright deny it in some cases."
And if we look at the tv tropes page on tsundere, it even says people can be left scratching their heads if they're even together at all.
So denial is part of the formula for tsunderes and Souichi is a textbook tsundere. He's going to lie and deny it. That's just who he is.
When Takanaga was asked by fans after the series "ended" in Vol 8 if he was going to change in the continuation she said he wouldn't change that much because he is a tsundere character and he wouldn't be him if he changed that much.
In this chapter, Souichi made a big deal of saying that the rings were just friendship rings, but I think that's because he knows that if he allows Morinaga to call them something else, he'll slip and call them that around other people. He's probably right too. Morinaga has a track record.
If you want to see me go on a rant about how much they have progressed since then... keep reading.
They had the define the relationship talk in volume 8 and they have made progress in every single volume since then.
In volume 8 Souichi makes a big deal of asking him to stay by his side and saying that he's not running away anymore and they agreed that Morinaga would stay with him. (And I explained how those are ways to express love in Japanese over here in this post)
The "do whatever you want, idiot" is so tsundere it hurts lol
After this they even discussed about how the apartment was their home together.
In case you didn't know, this was the original place that Takanaga planned to stop at and so it was supposed to be clear they were together now. She had publicly announced that it was the end but then quickly realized that there was still more she wanted to write about them so Takanaga kept writing. The only reason she is still writing this story now is because she wants to.
Vol 9:
Here on the opening pages of Volume 9 we can see it saying "We thought their love story was over...?" and have a quote from Morinaga saying "You love me too, right, senpai?" (with the "love" left out but that's what it is).
Now, all Souichi does after this point is reassure Morinaga that they're together and he's not going anywhere. Yeah sure he denies it to other people, but he never does to Morinaga.
In this volume Morinaga feels insecure about leaving and wonders why Souichi likes his new helpers. Considering Morinaga had persistently bug Souichi for 2 years to even get him to remember he existed it's not a crazy thing to wonder about when it comes to Souichi.
They have a conversation about how Morinaga feels jealous and feels like the size of their feelings are different and Souichi doesn't deny that he has feelings and just tries to figure out why Morinaga feels that way. Souichi tells him not to doubt him because he came to the decision to stay with him and he's not going to change his mind that easily.
Vol 10: Souichi pushes Morinaga away in the bath and thinks he upset him so he thinks about it and tries to tell him he's not rejecting him he's just not used to all the touching. Souichi tries to make it clear that it's not Morinaga or his sexuality that he's rejecting. Because they had just been talking about Morinaga's parents rejecting him because of his sexuality. Morinaga says that even though Souichi was so homophobic before, he was never like his parents so there was no way he'd think that. (I also think the main reason Souichi even agreed to come along was because he assumed that Morinaga would want to try to visit his parents but I don't have firm proof of that besides him bringing them up)
Vol 11: Their whole problem in this volume is they're not communicating effectively. They go through the whole thing with Tadokoro only to find out that they're assuming things. Morinaga assumed Souichi would be like before and need an excuse to live with him if they didn't live together anymore and Souichi assumed they're together now so of course they'd move back in together when they could.
Of course once they decide that, Morinaga screwed it up for himself by reminding Souichi that his boundaries are different and he decides he still needs a separate room so he just stays in the apartment anyway. But they could have had that conversation without involving a third person and being messy so they're just terrible at communicating sometimes. Poor Tadokoro got caught up in their mess.
Vol 12: Morinaga finally moves out and starts his job. Souichi acts like he doesn't care and assumes that Morinaga will be back every weekend anyway so it won't be that different. Then Morinaga gets busy with training at work and doesn't come back for 2 months.
I want to point out that while Souichi throws his phone here he didn't actually write back to tell him no lol
So while they're living apart now, Souichi is trying to learn to communicate with him in ways that reassure him.
Then, Tadokoro is just trying to make conversation and brings up the house since he'd been involved in that mess and Souichi tries to deflect. Tadokoro tries to tell him he doesn't have to hide it because he knows and that just starts a whole new problem. Tadokoro doesn't know how big of a problem it is for Souichi to have other people know so that just blows up in his face. Souichi denies it only because he's embarrassed about it but not because it's not true.
Souichi doesn't tell Morinaga why he's so upset about it and stops communicating and so Morinaga thinks it's because something like what happened to him in high school has happened to Souichi because that would make him being angry about it make sense. Morinaga overthinks and gets sick and so Souichi ends up going to check on him. (I think it's really cute that Souichi has a spare key to Morinaga's place. They're husbands.)
Souichi realizes how much worrying about this affected Morinaga and then he doesn't care about Tadokoro knowing anymore. He doesn't try to correct him anymore, he just tells him not to talk about it. Tadokoro gives him an out telling him he just misunderstood but Souichi knows he knows because Morinaga told him he told him.
...Sorry, I also think there might be a missing in translation thing going on here because the word Morinaga uses to say he told him means something more like "I exposed our secret to him" but that's not the way someone would say that in English so.... yeah...
Vol 13: Souichi is getting softer and obviously misses Morinaga when Isogai visits. Isogai notices that he's lonely and offers to cook for him while Morinaga is out of town and he's there for work. Morinaga's pissed off about it but he's not actually worried about Isogai like he used to be in volumes 3 and 6 lol. Also while Souichi said he didn't care what happened when Isogai was on the phone with Morinaga he was obviously still listening because he came back and got pissed off when Isogai told Morinaga he was lonely but he didn't chime in any other time before that.
So, Isogai convinced Morinaga to call Souichi by his given name and changing how you call someone in Japanese is usually a pretty significant thing since it shows a change in the relationship. Morinaga has always called him "Senpai" which is a sign of respect because he is a younger student than him. Changing to his given name shows that their relationship is closer than that. Souichi doesn't think anything of it but then when hearing his name he found it embarrassing and it turned him on lol. But Souichi realizes that it would indicate to other people that something changed so he puts his foot down on doing it in front of other people.
Vol 14: After he finds out that Morinaga heard the girl, Souichi points out that he turned the girl down just to reassure Morinaga that he's not trying to get with anyone else. I think he was afraid it was going to a whole vol 9 scenario again but Morinaga has learned that he doesn't need to worry anymore so it wasn't a big deal. Then they have a whole conversation about how they're in a relationship but Souichi doesn't think it would affect anything if anyone found out. How you can look at this and think this man doesn't know he's in a gay relationship I don't know.
But he still doesn't want people to know who don't have to (because he thinks people knowing would mean they would know about what they do sexually because he really has no experience with relationships and the only person who knows is Isogai who saw him getting jacked off in the street lol.... you can't convince me this man has ever been in a relationship in his life before this).
When Morinaga tells him other people don't have to know anything else he's more open to it but still.... they have this whole conversation about being in a relationship and telling people. Souichi never denied it the whole time, he just didn't want to tell anyone.
And then the barrage of people come to hit on Souichi and he just wants to get rid of them. Morinaga convinces him to wear a ring to get rid of them. Souichi is socially dumb so he doesn't "get" rings but he knows it means he's in a relationship and he agreed to wear the matching rings.
Vol 15: Which brings us to now.
Now they've been together for 2 years since volume 8 and have been actively choosing to stay together because Morinaga graduated and lives in a completely different city. They're even wearing rings that definitely cost over $1000 each.
I checked and these are the rings that look closest the one ones they are wearing that I saw on the Cartier website.
So of course Souichi lied to his family. Souichi JUST said in vol 14 that his family were the last ones he'd want to tell about this and they almost found out already lol. But that's just because he doesn't want other people to know. (Souichi is lucky his family is so gullible). He's been fully committed to this relationship for 2 whole years now.
#koisuru boukun#I kept writing stuff and deleting it#I didn't know what I wanted to say with this post#They've been together since vol 8 people.#Everything after is just them building their relationship#I guess I'm posting this now lol
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My brother’s best friend
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In which the reader has to stay with her brother and his best friend for a while due to renovations at her home.
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Pairing: Bang Chan x reader | fluff, angst and happy ending
A/N: Heyy guys, I hope you enjoy reading this oneshot! If I made any mistakes do tell me because I won't realise it :D.
Warning: Mentions of middle fingers, rude people (I guess that's all)
Word count: 4,2k
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The renovations have started at my house, which means I can't live there for the next two weeks. That's why I'm currently standing behind my brother's door with two big bags full of my stuff, waiting for his slow ass to open the door for me. I could hear talking—or more like yelling—coming from behind the door. After two seconds, the door slammed open with my slightly annoyed brother, who was trying not to show happiness in seeing me.
"Get inside, loser," he told me while making a tsk sound. I just showed him my tongue and middle finger while starting to drag my bags with me.
"Why do you need so much stuff for two weeks?" he asked me, watching with his cat-like eyes squinted at me. "I'm a woman… I have clothes, my stuff for university and work, and so on... and you know, health stuff." He was about to say something, but his mouth formed an 'o,' letting out a soft "oh" as an answer.
The moment I had gotten everything inside and closed the door, my brother's handsome roommate and best friend appeared behind a hallway. He looked cute in his oversized black hoodie, shorts, and beanie. "Oh, hi y/n, I didn't know you already came here," he smiled at me with a bright smile that could easily have brightened the whole world. "Oh yeah, I just came," I rubbed my arm while pointing at the door. He just giggled at me before saying, "I noticed."
Minho stared at me and rolled his eyes. He was painfully aware of my crush on his friend and pretended to be annoyed with it. In reality, he was rather glad I was crushing on his friend and not on some stupid boy who would end up breaking my heart. But still, even though I was secretly in love with his painfully beautiful and god-like best friend, he would never allow me to date him. I'm not sure what that's really about, but I find it annoying. Not that I would ever have the courage to reveal to his friend about my secret feelings.
"Is the renovation starting then?" Chan asked me as he came to stand next to me. "Oh! Let me take that!" he told me before I could answer, seeing me moving my bags.
"You don't nee— I— oh— okay, sure, and uh, yeah, they started today in the morning. I had to go through the plan with them before I got to leave," I answered, trying to stop him from helping me at the same time. He didn't need to help me when I was the one coming to break his privacy by staying at his house for two weeks.
"No, no, don't worry. Hey Minho, why don't you help too! And that sounds great, the sooner it's done, the sooner your home is ready again, right?" Minho scowled at Chan before coming to help me with the bag. "Haha yes, but luckily two weeks isn't that long."
"Mmm, true. Well, I hope you enjoy staying here. I'll talk to you later; now, I have to continue with my work again. I have to get this track done by this Sunday," he told me while scratching the back of his head and giving me an apologetic smile. Minho just stood next to me silently, like he had never been in the room before, pushing me slightly after Chan had left.
"Don't flirt with him around me; it's gross," he complained.
"I hardly believe that; nothing can be as gross as you are." Minho gave me a stare before telling me he wouldn't help me anymore. This led us to bickering like little children, and ended up with him helping me bring my bags to the living room next to the sofa.
—------------------------------------------------
That night, neither Minho nor I had the energy to start cooking dinner or even step out of the house. This led us to order takeout. It also led us to have a movie night like we used to when we were younger. It would usually start with us bickering over which movie to watch and end with Minho giving up and letting me choose the movie. He had always played tough with me but ended up giving in and being soft. He was soft even now when we were fighting over how we would sit on the sofa. I wanted to lay on my side with my legs straight, but so did Minho.
"Would you lay like that on the sofa if your 'Channie' was here?" he sneered at me, squinting his catlike eyes.
"Yes, I would, and he's not 'mine,' so stop bullying me or I'll put you in the damn air fryer," I threatened him.
"I want to see you try when we both know I can put you in there faster than you can put me."
I didn't even bother to answer him and just showed him my middle finger. As a peace offering, I sat on the sofa instead of laying down, and to my surprise, he sat as well. I knew our next fight was going to be about what movie we were going to watch next, and I wasn't waiting for it. I wanted to watch old nostalgic Disney movies while he wanted to watch the newer ones. While we were bickering, we didn't hear Chan entering the room before he was right behind us.
"Oh hey, can we watch Deadpool?" Before Minho could open his mouth, I had already agreed with him.
"Sweet! Oh, is that the food you ordered? I can get it!" he said as the sound of knocking could be heard from the front door.
"You only agreed because it's Chan, traitor. You know I have seen it at least a thousand times…" I just looked at him with a blank face while saying 'oops.'
Chan came happily back with a goofy smile plastered over his face and our food. He set the food on the table in the living room and started opening the packages with funny jazz hands. I chuckled at the happy sight in front of me and smiled softly to him. I heard a loud groan from next to me, and I dropped the smile and gave Minho yet another middle finger.
When all of us had food in front of us, we finally started the movie. We ended up sitting in a way where Chan was between me and Minho. To say I was feeling nervous would be an understatement. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest and hands shaking like leaves. During the movie, all I could concentrate on was me and Chan's legs brushing each other whenever one of us moved. Whenever I felt the touch, all I wanted to do was to jump closer to him, but that would be weird. Therefore, I tried to be as far away from him as I could to keep myself from acting out of normal. That didn't work, though, as it seemed that he was getting closer and closer. The last straw for me was when I felt Chan's hands touch mine as we were reaching into the cup of snacks at the same time. I tried to act normal, but I knew both Minho and Chan could hear the shakiness in my voice as I told him he could take from it first. I couldn't think after that, and missed the whole ending of the movie.
After the movie, I still felt like I was in heaven from the smallest touches. Yes, I know it's pathetic, but I couldn't help it. Minho went to get a blanket and a pillow for me as I tried to convince Chan that I could sleep on the couch, and it wasn't a problem for me as they had already helped me so much.
"Come on, Chan, I can sleep here; two weeks are not going to be that bad, you know," I tried to take the duvet cover from him.
"No, really, y/n. I have slept here on this exact sofa, and I know how much it will hurt the next morning when you wake up," he tried to reason with me.
"Yes, why it is important that you don't sleep here so you'll be able to finish your work, remember?" He just didn't seem to give up.
"But I don't sleep anyway, so there will be no harm done if you sleep in my bed." At this point, I couldn't do anything other than use my secret weapon.
"But Chaaaan," I told him while giving the best puppy eyes I could. He sighed and rubbed his face as I could feel his other hand letting go of the duvet covers.
"Fine, but if your shoulders hurt tomorrow, you are going to sleep the rest of the stay in my bed, okay," I stared at him, smiling before answering, "Fine." I won't tell him if my shoulders hurt; he doesn't need to give his bed to me.
—------------------------------------------------
The next morning, I did wake up with stiff shoulders, which were the cause of my never-ending headache. The whole day went with me being distracted during lectures because of the pain and the aftermath of dreaming about Chan. The entire day I was in another brain land, making me extra clumsy and forgetful. I even mixed up my schedule and went to the wrong places at the wrong time. When I did it for the second time, I decided it was probably smartest to skip the rest of the day.
So now, I was trying to figure out how to relieve my stiff shoulders while sitting on the exact sofa that was the whole cause of the situation. I searched through the whole net, only to find either not possible or expensive ways. With a sigh, I put my laptop away, giving up on trying to ease my pain. What I didn't notice was the front door opening and a person coming in. It wasn't until I heard Chan's voice that I realized.
"Hey, are you okay?" he asked worriedly. I let out a scream as I heard him. I hadn't noticed him coming behind me or even entering the house. "Holy shit, you scared the living crap out of me!" I exclaimed while putting a hand over my heart to try to calm down the pounding. "Ahaha, sorry," he told me while sheepishly scratching the back of his head.
"What are you doing here so early?" I asked him curiously. I thought I would be here for a few more hours alone before Minho or Chan would be back.
"Well, I could ask the same from you, but we finished with Jisung and Changbin faster than I thought at the studio, so I came to finish things at home," he explained to me. I let out a silent 'aah' as an answer to him.
"Um, well, I couldn't concentrate at the campus, so I came here to do my essay, but I can't concentrate," I tried to reason. He eyed me for a while in silence while pouting his lips.
"Your shoulders hurt and are stiff, causing you a headache, right?" I stared at him in the eyes in silence. Shaking my head slowly, I tried to deny his assumption, even though it was right. He tilted his head to the side and gave me a pointed look.
"So now, if I tried to massage your shoulders, they would be soft and not rock hard, hmm?" I nodded my head. If he knew my shoulders were rock hard, he would start lecturing me and insist on me taking his bed.
Before I knew it, I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders testing if they were as 'soft' as I had claimed. I let out a whimper in pain as he squeezed my shoulders. They were indeed stiff, and it felt like somebody was putting little needles into my shoulders.
"Gosh, didn't I tell you this would happen if you sleep on the couch?" I didn't need to turn my head to know he was shaking his head.
"You should relax your shoulders; this isn't going to work if your whole body is as stiff as a tree," he complained. I tried to hide my creeping blush of getting caught being nervous. He didn't need to know that 'he' was the reason why I couldn't sleep in his bed or relax while he was trying to ease the pain.
He continued his lecture while massaging my shoulders. I still didn't give up with the couch, and it ended up with Chan calling Minho to tell him that I was going to be sleeping next to him. Now, I don't have much against sleeping next to my brother, but I still would prefer to have my own space. Their call went even as far as Chan threatening Minho if he wouldn't let me sleep next to him.
—------------------------------------------------
The next evening, I was in charge of making dinner for everyone. Minho was laying on the couch while complaining about his day to me as I prepared food for everyone. I had decided to make the most simple food that I could come up with, which was pasta. I was stirring the sauce when Minho let out a more dramatic sigh than usual. "I really wish I had an air fryer that would fit a person in it; I would have needed it today."
"Was your day really that bad, or are you just being dramatic?" I genuinely asked. He didn't answer for a while and kept silent.
"They came up with a new gossip about me; apparently, I have beaten up someone who looked at me in the wrong way." So his day was really a bad one.
"It's sad how adults keep coming up with stupid rumors, and I know they hurt you, but at least you'll be more successful than them because while they gossip, you are living your life fully with good friends who support you," I tried to brighten his mood.
"Mmh, I'm not really sad. It's just funny how they come up with such pathetic ideas when all I do is study and practice with my dance team," he shrugged, sounding calmer than before.
After that, Minho changed the topic and started talking about his cats, who were visiting our parents at the moment. He gave me a deep analysis of how he missed them and wished they were with him at the moment. While he was still analyzing his cats, Chan came to the kitchen and walked past me to get water. I accidentally dropped my spoon that I had just used to taste-test the pasta sauce as Chan had walked past me to the fridge. He had touched my waist like it was the most normal thing to do, making me jump in surprise. His hand was still lingering on me as he turned to pick up the spoon which I had dropped.
"You okay? Here," he asked while giving the spoon back to me.
"Oh yeah, the spoon just slipped; I have a bit oily hands," I told him while gesturing to the olive oil bottle next to my pot.
"Ahh, that explains," he sipped his water while moving away from me to sit at the dinner table while starting to talk with Minho.
I was left alone in the kitchen with a pounding heart and yet again shaking hands. I felt like I could explode with all the adrenaline running through me. I had to lean on the counter while trying to steady my breathing. I was in disbelief. If the rest of my stay was going to be like this or even worse, I don't think I'll get out of this alive. On top of everything, I have a strong feeling that Chan knows very well what he is doing to me at the moment…
—------------------------------------------------
The next few days, I didn’t see Chan at all. He most likely had spent the days and nights at his studio with his friends, editing or recording stuff, who knows. I used these 'Chan-free' days as days to get my own work done without stressing out if I would see him or not. I didn’t need additional distractions at the moment; I just needed to get past this module, and then everything would slow down a bit.
Finally, it was the end of the week, and I had gone out for dinner with my friends. This was the first time in a while that all of us had a free spot in our calendars to meet up. The restaurant had just opened on the other side of the city and was small and cozy. We were sitting in a small booth with all of us squeezed around the table. All of us were giving updates on our lives to each other while also reminiscing about our high school years.
“Soo y/n, do you have a boyfriend yet?” my friend Julia asked. She gave me a thin smile while tilting her head to the side, as if evaluating if my answer would make me a better person or not.
“Well, not yet. I have been concentrating on my studies lately…” I told her truthfully.
“Oh, so that means you are still too scared to tell Channie?” she asked, or more like stated. I could hear my other friends chuckling next to me.
As I was about to answer her, my other friend, Norah, answered. “It’s not like you actually had a chance with him; you do know that, right?” I stared at them quietly. What were they saying? They had never talked to me like that and had always supported me.
“What do you mean by that?” I wondered while scowling at them.
“Well… you know, why would he want to be with you like you are his best friend’s sister…” I stared at them, not saying anything. What were they on about? They had never been like this; it sounds like they are…
“Are you jealous? Or do you feel like I’m threatening you?” I genuinely asked them. I looked at my ‘best’ friends, wondering what was going on. Was I in a nightmare, or were they really like this before too?
“Of course not, why would I be jealous of you?” Norah answered while giving me a dirty look.
She and my other friends had never been like this before, or had they? I looked at all of them in the eyes and realized maybe they had been like this all along, I just hadn’t realized it. They had never actually been supportive; no, they just were waiting for me to lose all of my hope so they could get to my brother and his friends through me. I laughed in disbelief as I started packing my stuff to leave.
“You guys are unbelievable, hah, are you even hearing yourselves? All this for what, a few men that would never go for people like you and why? Because they have standards, unlike me, who spent most of her life with people who didn’t actually care about me.” At this point, I wasn’t even sure if I was talking to them or myself. I felt so betrayed that it made me feel like a ton of stones was placed on my chest to stop me from breathing. I stood up and grabbed my coat, and as I was leaving, I told them one last thing.
“Oh, and never call him Channie; that’s my nickname for him, not yours.” After that, I left. I wasn’t going to talk to them ever again; they had lost the privilege for that. I didn’t need shitty people like that in my life.
As I exited the restaurant, I started walking back to my brother’s and his friends' place. At some point, it had started pouring rain like the sky was crying with my soul for the lost friendships. With shaky hands, I tried to unlock my phone to call Minho to get me out of the rain, but my phone didn’t want to work as it got wetter and wetter with each passing second in the rain. The whole night was a disaster, making me want to start crying, but I wouldn’t let myself. I put my phone away and kept walking in the dark evening toward home. I was starting to shake due to the cold rain and wet clothes. Why didn’t I just order a taxi? It would have been a safer and dryer way to get home than walking in the dark rain. What if this was my last time seeing th-
“Y/N!” I looked up to where the voice was coming from. And there he was, standing right in front of me in the pouring rain. He looked worried and was clutching his phone in his hand. His wet hair was clinging to his forehead due to the rain, making him look like a lost puppy, even though he was an adult man.
“Chan…” I whispered his name.
“Why didn’t you answer your phone? I was worried, and so was Minho, he call- hey, why are you crying?” In the middle of his speech, I could feel my lower lip starting to wobble as my hands started to shake more. I couldn’t keep it inside me anymore. The crying just wouldn’t stop; it felt like it was taking over everything. I took shaky steps toward Chan with my hands out to him. He didn’t waste a second and hugged me as I cried into his shoulder. The night was shitty, and I had never imagined it would end like this. I could feel his chin on top of my head as he tried to calm me down. I just hugged him even tighter as my sobs got louder.
“Hey, it’s okay, cry everything out, okay?” I kept crying while nodding my head. Who would have thought my day would end up like this, crying in my brother’s best friend’s arms because a few mean people had betrayed me and told me I could never be with the person I wanted to be with…
“Promise me you’ll never leave me,” I leaned away from him while still sobbing to look into his eyes. He looked at me with a worried look hidden in his eyes.
“Hey, where is this coming from, love?” He asked worriedly while petting my hair.
“Promise,” I almost started crying harder as I tightened my hold on his hoodie.
He put his hands to my cheeks and made me look into his eyes, “I’m never going to leave you, okay. Not now and not ever.” I nodded my head while starting to calm down. It took me a few moments and a few deep breaths to finally be able to calm down fully. Chan kept petting my head and hugging me while I did so. When I was finally able to calm down, I spilled everything, from the way my friends had treated me to the root cause of the whole thing.
“I thought they were my friends and I guess at some point they were, but I don’t know what I did wrong. They were so mean, and I just don’t know. And please don’t hate me and promise that you’ll never leave Minho after I tell you everything.” He squeezed me harder as he promised never to leave Minho.
“You know, I have liked you ever since I first saw you when I was five. The day when you came to visit Minho after a school day, I remember that you were so shy yet so social, and I just couldn’t say anything to you and ran to my room to hide. But at some point, you and Minho came into my room and forced me to play with you, and I just thought you were so cool, and I just, I don’t know, I just decided you were my person that day. And I have all my life tried to hide the fact that I actually have feelings for you, and I told my ‘friends,’ and they supposedly supported me, but in reality, they were just waiting for my downfall…” I closed my eyes and waited for his reaction. I knew I had taken a huge risk when telling him all of this, hoping he wouldn’t hate me after everything.
“I know…” He told me quietly and hugged me more tightly. “You know, that day you weren’t the only one to catch feelings and try to hide them for most of their life…” I looked him in the eyes while sniffling. Was this really happening to me, was I in a dream, or was this real.
“Really…?” I asked quietly.
“Really,” He gave me a small smile while securing his grip on me. Maybe everything would be fine, maybe the future isn’t as gray as I thought it would be, and maybe just maybe I could face it with Chan… or Channie as I have wanted to call him most of my life aloud.
#skz#skz stay#stray kids#bang chan#bang chan oneshot#bang chan x reader#bang chan imagines#bang chan x you#bang chan x y/n#bang chan fluff#skz x reader#skz x you#skz x y/n#skz imagines#stray kids imagines#skz oneshots#skz fluff#stray kids oneshot#fluff#skz fanfic#bang chan ff#bang chan fic#stray kids fluff#skz angst#bang chan angst#lee know#minho stray kids#minho skz#angst#happy ending
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Todays rip: 19/04/2024
i love(d) you
Season 6
Featured on: SiIvaGunner's Highest Quality Rips: Volume FF
Also on: Now That's What I Call Quality! 3
Ripped by vvsvlogs
youtube
Requested by oetaboy and an anonymous reader! @oetaboy (Ask Box)
I'm sure this rip's been a long time coming for many - I know it has for me. I've had i love(d) you sitting in my drafts as far back as in March, but truthfully it's...daunting, to write about. Requested by two readers. Close to 200 thousand views on YouTube, and recently featured prominently in popular Clone Hero YouTuber Acai's "The Quality of SiIvaGunner" series. And the rip itself being an emotional gutpunch in a season filled with them, from a ripper who's already gutpunched me plenty with Wham! Into Dreams and The Paragoomba and the Wiggler. vvsvlogs, Vivi, I ask this with the most sincere gratitude possible - why must you do this to me?
Minecraft as a game has its emotional hooks in at least two generations of people - that much I think we're all aware of. A sandbox filled with endless possibilities, community, friends, individual stories of survival or of great creative endeavors, all wrapped in C418's hauntingly beautiful score, one I've discussed many times before with Fell From a High Place (Reprise), M-O-O-G City and Every Mob Wants To Rule My World. All of these rips are beautiful, yet they're all aiming to play with Minecraft's sound in some way - the former two rips are arrangement of its music with other games' instrumentation, and the latter rip is a melodyswap playing Everybody Wants To Rule The World. They all play on my senses in their own ways, they're all rightfully impressive - but nothing hits quite the same as Minecraft's own music, on its own terms. i love(d) you isn't aiming to impress or amaze - but it lands a full-on critical hit on one's heart through leveraging everything that's kept Subwoofer Lullaby alive for so many years.
I've talked plenty about my musical illiteracy, and so I hope it doesn't come as a surprise that I've never really listened to world-renowed singer Billie Eilish. She's been on the radio, I've heard Bad Guy, but it was never a name I gave much more thought beyond seeing her discussed online from time to time. You can imagine the absolute awe I was in when I clicked on i love(d) you when it first went up, already expecting an emotional hit due to the Minecraft song used, only to get goosebumps from Eilish's vocals alone. i love you is the penultimate song from Eilish's debut studio album, the very same that Bad Guy was featured on - yet compared to that track's bass-heavy, almost seductive energy, i love you feels remarkably personal, with little more than an acoustic guitar and piano accompanying the openly emotional vocal performance. It's sincere in a way I don't hear enough music be, as if a diary translated into song, much the same emotion that Because I Love You conveyed yet with even greater magnitude due to the vocals in play.
i love(d) you, uploaded for 2022's valentines day, wields both of these forms of love - the connections many of us have to one of the most impactful games ever made, and the unfiltered emotion of i love you - to create something unabashedly beautiful. Mashups aren't a novel concept, mashups are nothing new - yet one glance at the comments tells me that I'm not alone in finding this rip in particular to have struck an incredibly sensitive nerve. Because there's a beauty to Minecraft that I think many of us oft forget about. It's a game that we all cherish, yet also one that's very easy to have left behind: we have adult responsibilities, we have school, we have other, shorter, more concise games, we have social media, we have friends, we have blogs...the solemn beauty of playing the game itself is, for many viewers like myself, not much more than a memory, something that can feel ever so difficult to recreate without feeling as if something's wrong.
We...I'm...not a kid anymore.
There was nothing about i love(d) you's concept that necessitated it to be more than just the mashup. There rip had no need for visuals that'd help convey the edit like with Plantasia 2 or Luna, mi Amor, no need to tickle the funnybone like with SUNGORE or the hundreds of other YTPMV rips on the channel. Yet, halfway through the rip, to the tune of Eilish's soothingly reverberating vocals, the background begins to change, not to a bit, not to a reference nor easter egg...but to Minecraft. To where all of this attachment began - to a far-off view of the game's beautiful landscapes as the sun begins to rises. That digital world that looks different for every player, yet the same in everyone's hearts - that place that, no matter how many years pass, how long its been since we last played, we all love. Its impact different to everyone, yet the feeling unanimous. It drives home how well the mashup works not just as a mixture of two deeply emotional songs, but as music tied to a shared experience: all of our Minecraft worlds looked different, all of our personal lives look different, but we've all played the game, and we've all had affection for it.
Every moment I spend thinking about this rip aches in some way. It's been well past two years since it was first uploaded, yet it continues to follow me as the years go on, my mouse drawn to it any time it reappears in my recommendations. In being featured on 2024's Now That's What I Call Quality! 3, I think the team holds much the same sentiment - even as the months pass, i love(d) you is the kind of rip that'll never fall out of favor, never stop meaning things to people. And realizing that it was made by vvsvlogs, the very same vvsvlogs who's already made me far too emotionally vulnerable on here twice before, has only made it mean that extra bit more to me.
I'm not a kid anymore. I know that. But I'll always be grateful to SiIvaGunner, the people behind it, and those who follow it along with me, for being able to bring me back to that state of mind when I least expect it.
Thank you.
#todays siivagunner#season 6#siivagunner#siiva#vvsvlogs#rip visuals#minecraft#minecraft music#c418#subwoofer lullaby#minecraft alpha#minecraft beta#minecraft art#mojang#mineblr#billie eilish#acoustic#when we all fall asleep where do we go#Youtube
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he couldn't just let you be upset, hurt adn scared after that. He had to fix it.
“Princess?” Noah knocks on the door not sure if you had locked it or not “Princess please I’m sorry…I never meant to hurt you or say any of those things I-“ he tests the knob and finds it to be unlocked. He lets go of a breath he wasn't aware that he was holding. He pokes his head inside and sees you hunched over your vanity. He felt his heart ache as he stepped inside and walked to your shaking form carefully. He places a hand on your shoulder
"..baby?" he voice was soft, not wanting to startle you.
You swallow hard "what do you want?" you try and present a strong voice as your head come up from your arms. You make up was smeared and left tear tracks down your face. You eyes were red and puffy and seeing it broke his heart "shouldn't you be at your club?" You ask him still wanting to jab at him for what he did
"No baby...nothing compares to being home with you" he answers trying to meet the eyes he loved so much
"Well I don't care anymore...go and enjoy you stupid girls" you said looking at him in the mirror. You looked at him not with hate, but with hurt and anger.
"Y/N, you're my only girl" he said caging you into the vanity as he leaned on the edge "Please....I'm so sorry, you didn't deserve any of that. I swear on my life, you are the only woman, my woman, none of them even come close to you. I should have stopped the very first time you said so…."
"..so why do...why do y-you still go?" you curse you voice for breaking and raising in pitch. Hot tears fall from your eyes once again. Your head falls back into your hands and Noah comes to kneel on the floor. He spins your chair so you’re facing him. His warm hands ground you and made you feel secure, even in vulnerability.
“Y/N, baby..my love look at me,” he asked you softly as his hands gently take your hands from your face. “There you are…my perfect little flower”
His large thump wiping the black, but only sneering it more
“I am an honest man and I am telling you it’s business only. The dancers who work there sometimes don’t know when I visit and are just hoping to get some pocket money. I don’t go to enjoy myself…I go to make sure I make the money I need to give you anything you ask for in this world. why do I have to go a see another girl when I have a stunning woman at home?”
You simply shrug your shoulders feeling zapped of energy
“But listen to me, if it makes you feel better and more secure that I don’t go there, I won’t.” He told you “I was being stupid, and grabbing you like that….dont ever let me treat you that way again Y/N, I want you to slap the shit outta me if I even attempt it “ he had finally cracked a smile from you. “Okay baby?”
You nod “okay” you repeat “…I should have..”
“Yes. you should have” he smiles at you
“I’m sorry for over reacting”
“No. Im sorry princess, never and I mean NEVER again,” he stated deep into your eyes “everything that I do, I do to give you the best and highest life you desire. Anything is yours, all you have to do is ask me, my love.”
“Well I..” he waits for your response “…I want you…” you answer
“Then it’s done, now let’s clean up that pretty face huh?” He stood up and grabbed your make up remover supplies and started to gently work on your face while he spoke to you
“You’re my princess”
“So smart, and resourceful, no one compares”
“I’m sorry I hurt you princess, I’m so so sorry”
After it was all gone he helped with your skin care and just stared at you
“You’re the most precious thing to me” he held your face in his hands and caressed your skin with his thumbs “how about we get you to bed?”
You nod your head and he leads you to the large bed in the middle of the room. He lets you get in first and tucks you in snuggly. He squats down a an kisses your head
“I’ll be in bed in an hour, I need to make some arrangements for tomorrow and I’ll come back okay?” He informs you, he could see the sadness still on your face from his statement “baby, I promise you in an hour, I’ll be back, snuggling you and holding you through the night okay? I promise”
And he did come back to bed within the hour. He arranged to have someone take his place so he didn’t have to visit anymore. Which meant tomorrow he’s take you out for the day as an apology. Shopping, restaurants, shows, movies, anything you want. So here he laid with you in bed, his arms wrapped around you, protecting and shielding you from this world as he should be doing.
He was just basking in the feeling of you asleep in his arms. Thinking of all the ways he’d treat you tomorrow, starting with breakfast in bed (wink)
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