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waltwhitmansbeard · 3 minutes
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just wanted to give my big gay green rock some hugs
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waltwhitmansbeard · 17 minutes
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The Mighty Nein as textposts 26/???
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waltwhitmansbeard · 30 minutes
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Perc'ahlia Week Day 3: Mask/Trinket
another day, another @percahliaweek fic! this one was supposed to be the shortest one. lol. also available on ao3!
Vex hasn't seen her husband in days. She only knows he's even in the castle because of the meals being brought up into his study at semi-regular intervals. This is part of the deal, loving and living with the Terrible Tinkerer of Tal'dorei, but she's so curious. The last time he got like this, he disappeared for two and a half weeks and emerged, eyes bloodshot and hair stringy, with the prototype of the acid-powered streetlamps that now illuminate the paths of Whitestone each night. She's sure that whatever he's working on now, the city will be all the better for it, but that doesn't stop her from being grumpy in the meantime.
It also doesn't stop their children from noticing their father's absence. Luckily Gwen, still too young to recognize his odd behavior, has little to say on the matter, but the twins keep trading jokes about the elaborate, world-ending device Percy is surely working on, and Vesper grumbles that he's postponed their scheduled Celestial lessons again. Little Danny, however, is taking things the hardest; every night, when Vex tucks him in and kisses him good night, he murmurs, "Mama, he's gonna come to my birthday party, right?"
And every night, Vex makes a promise that she'd rather kill Percy with her bare hands than break. "He wouldn't miss it for the world, darling boy."
When the party in question rolls around, a raucous affair to be held on the castle grounds, with all manner of games and music for each and every child of Whitestone to enjoy, Vex steals away early in the morning to bang on the locked door of her husband's study. "Percival Frederickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III, open this door now."
There is clanging and shuffling and crashing, and about forty-five agonizing seconds later, the door creaks open, revealing a sliver of manic blue eye. "Hello, dear."
She could throttle him. "Do you know what today is?"
"I do."
"Do you plan on joining your son at any time today?"
"I do."
"At any particular time, or...?"
"The party begins at noon, yes?"
His funeral will begin at noon if he doesn't stop being the most aggravating person she's ever met in her life. "Yes, and Danny would very much like both of his parents to be in attendance."
Percy seems not to have heard her. "Noon...yes...noon should be fine...I should be done by noon..." And then the door is shut and relocked unceremoniously in her face.
Well. She supposes she must trust him to keep his word. She spins on her heels and marches off to get dressed.
All of the children of the city start gathering in the late morning, and soon the castle grounds are alive with screams and laughter as the noble family of Whitestone celebrates its youngest son's birthday. There are endless tables of pastries and treats, courtesy of the Slayer's Cake, and Trinket's cub Charlie bounds around happily, hoping for dropped scraps from the young mouths eating them. Grog, in his esteemed position as Grand Poobah de Doink of All This and That, has been tasked with games, which all seem to involve either throwing or being thrown, but Vex gauges from the shrieks of delight that they're having fun. The height of entertainment, of course, are the magical rides offered by Keyleth and Scanlan, who use their shapechanging powers to transform themselves into a magnificent silver dragon and an ostentatious purple winged horse, respectively.
Vex has a hard time focusing on the party, though, because she's keeping a weather eye out for her wayward husband. As the party wears on, he still has not appeared, and even though Danny is currently occupied by Keyleth's mesmerizing ice breath, she knows that soon enough, he's going to notice that his father is missing.
Just as Vex has resolved to set the castle ablaze with the aim of smoking Percy out, the man himself appears, freshly washed and shaven and not nearly as frenzied as he'd seemed this morning. He has a wrapped box tucked awkwardly under his arm. She charges up to him, fists clenched at her side. "Where have you been?"
He at least has the nerve to look sheepish as he says, "It took longer than I'd hoped to finish, but I think it'll be worth it. Where is he?"
She has no clue what he's talking about, but for his sake, he better be right. "He's with Keyleth."
Just then, a loud groan erupts from where most of the children had gathered, and Vex sees a familiar head of red hair, and she knows that the hour must be upon Keyleth's Shapechange. Percy tuts happily and strides off in that direction, and Vex scrambles to keep up. "Danny!"
The birthday boy turns at his father's call, a grin breaking out like sun rays through clouds. "Dad!" He runs and launches himself at Percy, who kneels down just in time to catch him with his free arm. "You came!"
"Of course I came, little bird. I am very sorry that I was late and I am very sorry that I've been gone for a while, but I hope you'll like what I was doing while I was gone."
Danny frowns, confused, but then he notices the present, and delight sparks in his eyes. "Can I open it?"
Percy hands it over, and Danny, with an eagerness only a kid on his birthday can manage, tears into the wrapping. The box beneath is square and a few inches thick, and with shaking excitement, Danny lifts up the lid.
The mask inside is so lovely it takes Vex's breath away. It is entirely mechanical, a pastiche of clockwork pieces and whitestone that all weave together to form the unmistakable shape of a bear's face. Danny squeals, carefully picking it up out of the box. "Whoa..."
"I know how much you love playing with Trinket and Charlie, little bird, and I wanted to make you something to fit in. Look here." He flips a tiny switch on the inside of the mask, and like magic, the wheels and gears begin to move, and the mouth and eyebrows twisting together to form a mighty roar, which emanates from somewhere within the mask. "Now you'll be just a fierce as they are."
"Can I put it on?" Percy helps him strap the contraption to his head. Vex is sure it must be heavy, given its component pieces, but Danny can barely contain his glee when he announces, "I can't even feel it! It's just like I'm a bear!"
As if on cue, Trinket himself lopes over to nudge Vex's shoulder. She pats him on his graying muzzle, and then he leans down to sniff at the mask. Danny reaches up to flip the switch, and the resulting mechanical roar makes the enormous bear jump. Danny lets out a peal of laughter, then rushes up to wrap his arms as far around one of Trinket's legs as he can manage.
"Do you like it, Danny?"
Danny releases Trinket to throw himself mask-first at his father, who ducks his head out of the way just in time to avoid being brained by the metal parts. "I love it! It's the best birthday present ever!"
Then he's off, eager to show all of his friend his new bear mask, and Percy straightens up with a groan. He gives Vex a self-satisfied side eye. "Well? Was it worth it?"
Oh, he really is the most aggravating person she has ever met on this plane or any other. "Yes. Well. You could tell me what you're up to next time. So I don't think you're neglecting our children."
He wraps an arm around her waist, his hand broad and warm on the center of her back. "Would I ever?"
"So I don't think you're neglecting me."
He hums low in his throat, and she watches his Adam's apple bob hungrily. "Yes, well, fair enough. Should I make it up to you tonight?"
This plane or any other. "I really think you should. Several times."
"Yes, dear."
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waltwhitmansbeard · 45 minutes
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In the same way I wanted the Gunner Channel to win a million dollars at the battle of the brands, I not only want the Bad Kids to pass the last stand but to BEAT IT
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waltwhitmansbeard · 1 hour
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The idea that Kipperlily and the Ratgrinders might have underestimated the Bad Kids is wild to me and makes them look so foolhardy.
Like,,, yeah no the kids that fought an Ancient Red Dragon their freshman year, took on a Nightmare Deity as a school project, and saved the world from Eternal Darkness during their summer break definitely don't know what they're doing and are totally incompetent at defeating foes. That tracks. 100%.
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waltwhitmansbeard · 1 hour
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I don’t know how I’ve just realized this but like we’ve had a lot of injustice this season considering the fact that the big mystery is surrounding a fallen goddess of justice
Like we got
Riz possibly not being able to get into college
Sklonda having her pension withheld for no reason
Fig getting dropped from her record label
Gorgug having to take three years of artificer at once because he’s too nice (eventually having to shed that part of himself at times to succeed)
Fabian finally getting to go home to his mom after not seeing her for months only for her to immediately leave him alone for months on end when he clearly doesn’t know how to fend for himself
Adaine not performing well in class because she can’t afford her class despite having saved the world and literally being the elven oracle
Kristen literally getting expelled for something that had been cleared up before despite literally earning and working her ass off for an A
The Ratgrinders being so much farther ahead in everything than the Bad Kids because they found a way to cheat the system despite the Bad Kids literally saving the world
Like this definitely has something to do with the bringing back of the corrupted goddess of justice right?
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waltwhitmansbeard · 1 hour
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if you like florence + the machine and also kristen applebees and figueroth faeth. may i offer you cassandra
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waltwhitmansbeard · 2 hours
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honestly i didn't think the rat grinders were a red herring but i also didn't think they were irredeemable, and i still see possible that at least some of them were manipulated somehow. but also what the fuck. what the fuck kipperlilly. what is wrong with you why did you do that
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waltwhitmansbeard · 2 hours
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waltwhitmansbeard · 2 hours
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"I'll see you in your dreams."
it's so interesting that what liliana considers dreams imogen considers her nightmares
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waltwhitmansbeard · 2 hours
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they saw u from across the bar
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waltwhitmansbeard · 3 hours
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I really love how the crystal hair turns out
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waltwhitmansbeard · 3 hours
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"Alive for the First Time...." We salute you Faithful care giver. I worked on this for a straight 12 hours rifht after the end of the episode, one heck of a game, one heck of a heartbreak.
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waltwhitmansbeard · 3 hours
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waltwhitmansbeard · 3 hours
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laura bailey you have got to be kidding me i cannot do this.
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waltwhitmansbeard · 4 hours
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Okay, I know Zac Oyama is sharp. I know he’s smart. But as Gorgug and Ricky Matsui he has so much fun playing admittedly less brilliant characters (especially considering I’ve only seen S1 of both), that I, like, I just forget.
But as Lapin Cadbury, like, FUCK. Zac is SO SMART. Zac is, I am convinced, is like fucking brilliant. His piecing together Keradin and looking to the Pontifex and the church people and all of his deception… I am FASCINATED
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waltwhitmansbeard · 4 hours
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i don't know man, i just wish that we could [suddenly realising i'm coming dangerously close to expressing a real and earnest thought instead of filtering everything through several layers of intangible running bits] blow up the entire world. or something.
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