#not to mention that yesterday with all the end times news i just lost purpose and motivation even for my BA much less anything else
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FRIENDS?
pairings: Xavier Thorpe x Fem!reader
summary: Xavier doesn't like seeing you around other people.
warnings: swearing, mention of alcohol and drugs. jealous Xavier, mention of sex. Xavier being a bit possessive. characters are 18.
note: don't forget to request anything that you would like to see. I made a post on who I take requests for
"what the hell is wrong with you?!" you shouted at Xavier
"nothing, what's your problem?" Xavier said aggressively
"leave, get out of my room. I don't want you here!" you demanded, pointing to the entrance of your room
"I'm not leaving" he shook his head, taking a slow step closer to you
"Xavier, get the hell out my room right now" you yelled at him, taking a step back.
"fine, but don't come crawling back to me when they leave you!" he screamed in your face
"oh trust me, I won't" you laughed sarcastically.
Xavier walked away from you, out the door where you slammed it in his face. you leaned against the door and bit your tongue, trying your hardest not the let the tears fall from your eyes, but they did. and they wouldn't stop.
---
that was a month ago. and since then, you haven't talked to Xavier at all, you had lost your closest friend of years to something he was jealous about.
"hey, darling" said an annoying voice, you turned to the blonde boy
"I've already told you not to call me that, we're not dating, we're not together and we never will be, what we did was a one time thing and I was partially drunk. so please. whatever your name is, leave. me. alone" you rolled your eyes at him.
he had been following you around like a lost puppy for the past two weeks because you slept with him at a party and you had gotten sick of it, but up until now, you could just bare it.
the boy gulped before leaving your table
"don't you think you should take a break from sleeping around with guys?" your friend, Danny suggested
"It's not like I do it on purpose, its the alcohol and drugs that does it" you shrugged.
lately you've been experimenting with those type of things at parties. you don't mean to but it's like a routine. you go to the party, you see Xavier staring at you, you take a dink or a smoke and end up all over a guy.
you wouldn't say it's to make Xavier jealous, but you do it because of him.
but again, you don't mean to, you just help yourself.
XAVIER'S POV
something about seeing her with all these guys just pisses me off. she knows what she's doing, and she knows I don't like it.
I even said it to her.
she started ditching me for her new 'friends' and sleeping around having sex with almost any guy she crossed paths with.
I told myself I was looking out for her. but I know it's more than that.
it's been a month since she threw me out, meaning she has a whole month to cool off. so when I saw her walking the corridors to the poe statue alone. I took my chance.
I followed her and snapped twice. down the stairs quietly I noticed her talking to a guy
"yesterday was fun, so. did you want to go out again. maybe tomorrow?" the guy said. standing a little too close for my liking
"I'd like that" she giggled softly. my stomach flipped, and not in the good way, my hands formed into finsts as I watched the scene unfold. he tucked a stray hair behind her ear and smiled at her.
she looked at him like he was the only guy in the world.
"well I'll see you then" he said
"I can't wait"
I quickly hid when I saw him coming up the stairs to leave. i held a breath as he walked past. I didn't want to hurt him.
but I did
--
"she's mine" I growled as I stared down at his unconscious body laying on the concrete floor.
I go back to the secret library and see her standing there, back turned to me. she looked like she was doing something, but I couldn't see.
I get to the bottom of the stairs with my hands in the pockets of my pants. I walk up behind her without her knowing and grabbed the notebook floating in the air.
the pen that was writing on it dropped and she turned to me out of shock
"give it back" she demanded. she looked cute
"come and get it" I smirked hiding it behind my back so she can't access it.
"give it back to me please" she sighed
"tell me what you you were doing with that other guy" I said
"what?" her eyebrows were lifted, acting oblivious
"you know I don't have patience. what where you doing?" I stated
"none of your business" she had her arms crossed against her chest, she look annoyed, but she made it look so cute
"are you wasted?" I asked
"no! why do even you care anyway? it's not your problem" she rolled her eyes
"you know your friends have been here too long" I took a step forward
"oh my god I can't believe you right now, I am aloud to have friends, I don't know why we're having this conversation again" she groaned
"no no, you can't blame this on me anymore. at first I did too, but over the past month I've realised this is on you, that you were too busy lying and sleeping around with guys to even hang out with me" i dropped the book and took a step closer to her
"I don't need to explain myself to you- why does it matter anyway, it's not like we were together!" you yelled at him
"well what the hell were we?! you can't seriously tell me that we were just friends, cause you and I both know we were more than that!" I took another step forward, making her back up slowly
"you're being ridiculous!"
"oh I'm being ridiculous because I'm fucking protecting you?!" I screamed
"Protecting me from what? my friends? they're better friends than you will ever be" she growled
"trust me they are not your friends, and that guy you were talking to is seeing three other girls" I paused, licking my lips frustratedly "but yeah, if they're better friends go on then, leave again" I laughed
"fuck you!" she yelled
"please do" I smirked
"my friends are great" she defended
I took a look around the room, pretending to look for her 'friends'
"and where are these great friends of yours right now, hm?" I huffed in amusement
"I-"
"-I can tell you where they are" I smiled "they're out in town, probably in the cafe, drinking coffee while talking shit about you"
"you are such a fucking dick" she ran her hands on her face
"I'm a dick for stating the truth? ok sure" I shrugged
"why are you even here?" she threw her hands in the air and back down to her sides
"because I'm fucking sick of seeing you with other people!" I screamed, backing her up into a bookshelf
"so you're jealous? we're not even friends anymore, you don't have the right to be mad at me for it"
"I'm aloud to be mad, I've been watching the girl I love ditch me for idiots for the past two months!" I yelled
"oh so now you love me, great" she said sarcastically
"I've always loved you, you fucking idiot, you're just to blind to even notice!" I ran a hand through my hair.
-
you went to say something but he cut you off
"don't you dare try to tell me you don't feel the same, cause we both know that we had something. you just threw it away to sleep with people"
"I was drunk and high, I didn't know what I was doing" you said quietly
"that hasn't stopped you from doing it again" Xavier growled
"I- I'm sorry" you whispered
"no you're not" he shook his head in disappointment, looking down at his feet, he didn't want to look at you.
"the only reason I did it was to get over you!" you yelled
"what the hell do you mean?" xavier questioned
"don't act like you haven't slept with other people. I only slept with them because you did it with Bianca!" she choked out
"what the hell are you talking about?"
"don't act fucking clueless! I know you slept with her, there's no point in denying it" you sighed, moving past him and walking away
"I never slept with Bianca" he denied
"bullshit" you cursed, not turning back
"don't fucking walk away from me, turn around" he said, trailing after you, stopping at the stairs where you were walking up
you stopped but you didn't turn around
"she told me" you smiled sadly, turning around for him to see your eyes become watery
"I can promise you that I didn't, you are the only girl I've had my eyes on in years" he gripped onto the railing of the staircase while looking up at you
you walked down the stairs and stopped in front of him
"I promise" he muttered to you, looking down at you lovingly
you gripped onto the collar of his shirt and pulled him down your level, placing a desperate kiss on his lips.
he situated his hands on your hips and moved closer to you, rubbing your hips against his own.
"so you love me?" you said amused
"don't act like you don't love me back" he shook his head, chuckling
"we're just friends" you teased, trying to hide a smile
"friends? yeah, I'll show you friends" he smirked, picking you up, wrapping your legs around his torso and kissing you.
------------------------------------------------
i swear this took way longer than it should've.
this is loosely based of friends by Chase Atlantic
#xavier thorpe headcannons#xavier thorpe x reader#xavier thorpe oneshot#xavier thorpe#wednesday 2022#wednesday series#netflix wednesday#enid sinclair#ajax petropolus#imagines#angst#jealousy#friends#chase atlantic
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Hello, I hope everyone has a happy new year.
I've been gone for a while, so I feel like its important to let people know where I've been, and I felt like maybe this could help someone if they read it.
I've had a rough year. Really who hasn't. I'm certainly not experiencing the worst fate a human could in this time. Even if they're not the same though, everyone faces their own Titan, their own kind of wall. It makes me feel small. But... kind of seeing everyone elses makes it a little easier for me to stand in the shadow of my own.
I've experienced some awful things over the years. Emotional and physical problems, but above all, what may be the worst, is that I've had a terrible relationship with my art and my writing. With everything I've drawn, I've felt as though my work has been nothing but disappointing or largely far from what I want. I've had this large, oppressive wall that makes me feel as though I can't or am unable to express myself the way that I want. I haven't had much faith in myself. Negative in fact. But... things have started to change. So, in 2024, I want to make the difference clear.
Things started changing in me in 2023. Maybe it was in play earlier than that. I had wins and failures, but I was able to pick myself up after those and try again. I felt lost. I looked for purpose, found a job, and a place I thought I might belong, and then lost it. I had done something wrong. It bothered me. But, rather than just stop and feel like this mental block, this wall had moved a little closer- I tried again. I didn't exactly push the wall back just yet. But i started to really look at it, and test the bricks. Take a shovel and really wack em. It didn't really do much at first, but I gave it a shot. At least I was angry. I didn't want to accept this anymore. But I couldn't very well break the wall with a shovel... so I dug a hole instead, beside the wall. I couldn't dig under the wall. It went too far. So I planted a seed inside it. The plant would need light eventually, but all seeds begin in darkness. So I put down my shovel, and I waited.
Towards the later quarter of last year, my life started to change. I had learned many new skills, I solved a few of the problems that were burdening me, and I have begun to feel as though I might be able to move forward. I started wandering into many unfamiliar things in life, and while I was scared at first, I wasn't so much by the time I'd charged through them. Or was dragged through, more like, in some cases. I'm trying my best to get into the swing of things, but the change of pace has left me very tired and I imagine I'll be struggling with that for a while as i adjust. I've still got a ton of bricks to break, and the hammer I made is still kind of heavy, but the wall is coming down.
I started selling plants in the hope that I could have a sort of backup to art. I just needed some distance. (But i also felt like I was running away. I just didn't really want to admit it.) I set up an art business selling plants, and ended up meeting locally with a customer to hand off their plant. Normally, I'd just sit it out and wait for them to show up after all the payment was in order. But, this time they knocked, so I came out to talk for a small bit, and... they ended up buying more plants, what do you know. And then we just started talking about things. Life, what we both did. We were both exhausted trying to keep things going, but we were moving. I mentioned my art on the side... I thought about just leaving it out of the conversation entirely, but it sorta slipped out of me.
This turned out to be the right thing to say. They said that they were opening a gallery. I was invited to be a part of it. After a month or so, we got things going. Yesterday, I was the first artist to have sold their work there. This is the first gallery I've ever been a part of, and it felt really nice to be a part of it and to meet so many other artists and hear their stories.
I realized I've been observing my art through a very dark lens. Yesterday, I was able to see my work through the eyes of other people. Despite all the flaws I saw in my work, other's saw the things they loved in it. And I know its not the first time. There have been plenty of people online who think what i create is cool. I guess I've just been blind to it. In a way I am. Even though I can see the numbers and the hearts, they don't really mean much to me if I can't really see the faces and hear the reactions of the people who see my work and what they innitially think of it, or when they see it in person. Art through a screen just isn't the same as when you hold it in your hands, and behold it in your world. Maybe, that's a good enough reason to start a physical sketchbook.
My art got printed for the first time in years two days ago. When i saw it innitially, laying on this bench, I was a little scared to approach it. I remembered all the flaws in that art, and this coil of anxiety wound up in my chest. But... I saw the look on the face of this person next to me, just genuinely looking at the art for what it was. After a moment, that coil loosened, and all those depressive thoughts slipped away. I remembered then when i was making that art, how I made it. What i wanted to make vs how it turned out. I didn't hit the mark exactly, but I could still appreciate the result. I even remembered the experience of drawing it fondly... and I kind of wished that I'd recorded it. Maybe i could have appreciated it better. I even wanted to create an alternative to that drawing. It felt really nice. It felt relieving. Like I could pick up a pencil again without worrying so much what i was going to create, to do it all over again. I even looked forward to it.
I guess working with my plants helped me figure things out in a weird, round-about way. And even my plants aren't perfect. They've lost leaves, wilted, died, but I've been learning to fix some of the mistakes I'd made. I've even managed to bring some of my plants back from the fucking dead, and I've managed to keep my others alive. Healthy even, thankfully. I do run a plant business afterall, but it took me roughly three years to get decent at growing them. And now I have around 400 plants in my house, and have plans to build a green house, maybe in the spring this year.
My art on the other hand... has just been so rooted into my damaged psyche that I haven't been able to open it up to becoming sustainable, despite people asking me about it. Maybe that will change this year. It feels like I can start to make it so. I want to reach out this year. I want to make people happy, even if I can't see them myself.
So... while I'm still terribly critical of anything I create, I feel like I can forgive myself a little more, and accept as well that while I can't make anything perfect to any degree, I can make a few things that are good and be happy with that. Even if i fail, the most important thing that I do is try again and make something new. Make a few things that I can like, despite what the nagging doubt in my head says.
I really hope that I can come to feel as though I can breathe again and to believe in my art and stories again. Maybe I can allow myself share more freely in the coming year. I feel like its more tangible of a possibility that I can believe in. Already I'm making more art, and more story projects to release. And I'm certainly not perfect, but I'm going to regret not trying just because I was afraid of making a mistake. I've learned, that making a mistake is easy, and getting back up is hard- but staying down hurts so much worse.
Right now, my seed has grown into a lovely little tree. It's reached a little further than my wall now, reaching light over the top that I've begun to see through its leaves.
I hope that the coming year is good to you. But if it isn't, I hope you find the strength you need to make it the best that you can. Maybe, collectively, we will make this year a little easier.
If you find yourself stuck like I have, maybe grow yourself a plant. Even if you're bad at it. Like, even the "I kill every plant I touch" kind of bad. I was there too. Its not something bound in this mystic "talent" people think you're born with when you're suddenly good at something. It's just like art. So, maybe, give yourself a chance. Find one, learn about it. What it likes, what it hates. Add it to your routine, or let it help you to create one. Every new little leaf and flower, is so rewarding to see when they appear. Each new leaf is different, even though its the same plant. Sometimes the first few are a little weird till they get going. And the roots, those are really cool too. They go wherever the water and the food is so that they can help the plant grow better leaves. So they're really good at finding things, even in the dark. They just feel it out. They don't know what it is, but they know its good or bad. They're especially good at finding all those cracks in the bricks that are too dark for you to see. And sometimes, they even break something loose, and let in some light so you can see through to the other side.
#chronsrambles#personal#dunno what possessed me to write all this#but it feels nice to get it all out of my system#i have an endless amount of stuff to complete but i need to just be at the point im not falling asleep at my desk hah#catch you later#happy new year#i hear its the year of the dragon#maybe I'll catch one by its tail
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May we hear a bit about this new oc you mentioned? Are they another cocky lovable bastard sort of character? =D
Sorry, my brain shut down yesterday--
So he's not actually a cocky bastard this time. He's a hitman/bounty hunter. Late 40s/early 50s. Big and built. Has a couple of scars and lost an eye, as well as a golden sharp tooth
He's very good at his job, a lil better than Pico or Tsuri, but he doesn't brag about it. He's confident yet humble. He may like goofing off and joking about, but he's not one to push someone's buttons on purpose. He'll back off and change the subject if he sees you getting upset. Similar to how he likes his kills too: he may like a full on brawl, but he'd prefer for his kills to happen quick. Makes the job more annoying if it drags on for too long.
It feels like he appears out of nowhere sometimes. He's done the job for so long, he just KNOWS when someone wants somebody dead. His prices can be pretty hefty, but he'll lower it if you're willing to get yourself involved with the job. He respects someone with guts/drive/passion. He meets Pico and Tsuri (separate occasions) when they both beat him to the punch on a kill. Kinda salty cuz that's money lost, but he can't fault them. They actually did a damn good job.
Extra trivia:
- Him and Grammy are good friends. He can't always hang out cuz of his job, but when he does, they have many stories to tell one another. He may like a nice cup of whiskey, but a cup of green tea offered by Grammy? Nah, you're a monster if you deny that. (Also Sharky likes him)
- He used to have a lover. They grew up together in the slums, doing whatever they could to make ends meet. They loved going on heists together, but unfortunately, it was those heists that got her killed. She left a note that basically said "I had a feeling something like this might happen eventually, but I don't regret doing it, nor do I want you to regret it. I want you to continue living life to the fullest. Ride high, move fast, stand strong, and only go out with the biggest bang ever." It took time, but he was able to keep going, still love in his heart for her. He has a knife and gun engraved with the name "Dragonfly", her nickname
- He doesn't have a gang per se, but he comes from a small town where they all treat each other like family. You fuck with one, you fuck with them all.
#Punk Posts#I don't have a name for him yet#I showed Kim the sketch of him. she's into him lmao#for once we don't have a cocky bastard#he's a cool dude#oh he's also very smart despite coming off as a meathead
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First Impressions: Sri Asih (2022)
i have waited 2 years for this movie and it did NOT disappoint. quick thoughts after i watched it yesterday:
i understand it is the movie so they have to pack everything in, but some of the exposition feels clunky. this also leads to some of the dialogue being unnatural
the pacing in the beginning of the movie was a little too fast
there are some scenes that i wish would've lasted longer or had more purpose, like the charity ball. yes it was fun to see Al and Kala dress up but ultimately nothing happened there and the real showdown happened in Adinegara's office
some scenes didn't have a smooth enough transition but i can overlook it
i do wish they would've given more exposition for Alana's age and career/life in the movie. i'm sure she's an adult, otherwise she wouldn't have all that free time. but is she a full time professional fighter? why did her mother decide to have her be one? at the end it's revealed Al's adoptive mom knew she was the next Sri Asih and decided to take her in because of it, but why mold her into a professional fighter and not some other athlete that gives her similar capabilities to fight, like a silat athlete? with silat, Al could've had actual practice using a selendang in battle bc a selendang is a silat weapon
so is Alana's mom part of Jagabumi or something? Kala never explained his connection to her
how did Al adapt to her new powers so quickly? she wasn't even briefed on what they are. her experience as a fighter gives her a leg up, but Eyang Maryani just did not explain that she can fly, use the selendang, have enhanced srength and durability, or multiply, at any point during the movie
she didn't even use all of her comic canon powers, like growing to giant size or purifying dark spirit energy were not utilized at all. they gave her super speed i guess, which is a new power
i am glad romance just does not exist in this movie. Alana is an aroace icon driven by rage and bloodlust just like i've always hoped she'd be <3
no mentions of Ganis :'''''''''''' like okay Ganis and Al are one timeline but i just want my Sundanese homegirl acknowledged
i'm not a big fan of Al being the next Sri Asih by virtue of being directly descended from Nani Wijaya. i don't think superheroes should be chosen by blood relation, they should be determined randomly based on if they're capable or not, bc anyone can be a hero if Dewi Asih decided they are one
casting Najwa Shihab as Nani was GENIUS btw. Nani was a journalist so it makes absolute sense to cast an actual journalist as her!
you know what would be cool though? they could have referenced the 1954 Sri Asih movie by finding someone that looked like Mimi Mariani and referencing the plot of the movie too. if only the movie wasn't lost media :'(
i will say Nani's costume looks absolutely nothing like in the comics and i'm disappointed by it, but hey, you gotta connect Alana's cameo in Gundala to this movie somehow. my advice is they could've made it similar to Nani's costume by adding her batik and then having Al choose not to wear the batik when she suits up to help Gundala
let's talk fashion! Al has a very practical and utilitarian wardrobe in muted colours. its mostly sporty with many sleeveless shirts which she tends to wear bc she sweats while fighting so often. it reflects her priorities as a professional fighter, and she has some high-end/more expensive pieces (like the combat boots and a significantly less utilitarian backpack) that screams of her wealthy background. i'm disappointed none of her clothes seem to have any wear or tear pre-battle, bc you would think some would look pretty ratty if Al has a habit of getting into scuffles, but that can perhaps be chalked up to her having a rich parent that can replace worn out clothes easily. i don't mind the amount of crop tops in her wardrobe, bc Pev Pearce absolutely deserves to show off those abs. the leather jacket was my fave fit.
not a fan of the multiple braids. bro that's cultural appropriation
i love love love her friendships in this movie. with her fellow pro fighters Gilang and that high school kid, Tangguh, and even Kala
i love that Gilang and the high schooler are like, not fair skinned and not with conventionally attractive features. there's a lot of diversity in this movie and i love it
what happened to all her pro fighter friends, anyway? they just up and disappeared after the hospital blew up. i get Al has bigger things to worry about, but the fighter's ring is her mom's work and those and her friends who are threatened by Adinegara. Gilang and co. are just replaced by Tangguh and Kala
Pev did a phenomenal job embodying Alana's character, but i can't understand why they would cast a half-white actor. i'm not being ethnocentric /gen, but i think Sri Asih should be represented by the ordinary class that doesn't have white privilege. biracial Sri Asih is an interesting concept to explore, but i wish they would've cast someone fully indonesian or even a minority. a chindo sri asih would be so cool
Tangguh is MY poor little meow meow. he's doing his best, truly! just a wimp of a man who tries to get context but fails every time. i support him going feral and tasing that guard.
i lowkey want more female characters in this movie. like if you compare it with the amount of guys (that play a significant role) it's just disproportionate, and doesn't make sense for there to be such an imbalance in a girl power film
Kala. has little personality. he's a tool that helps Al take down the bad guys and we only start to see a glimpse of his character when he interacts with Tangguh. official sources describe him as "charismatic", "kalem", and "mysterious". the REAL mystery is his personality babes.
speaking of, while Al is aroace for sure. the tension and chemistry between Kala and Tangguh has more romantic weight than anything they have going on with Al
Eyang Maryani is also just there as a tool. it's her job as a mentor, sure. but i wish she embodied the mentor part more
how did they get Al's mom out of the hospital in the first place??
it's also unrealistic how quickly Al decides to trust Kala tbh. "i know your mom" does he have proof?? girl he could be lying
this film has a lot going on, and there are some threads i wish they would've tied up more neatly. who murdered Mateo? are we supposed to assume Jatmiko did? how did Jatmiko get his hands on the Roh Setan necklace? what was Adinegara doing with HIS necklace, and what was it for? what about the businessmen working with Adinegara who were in on the plot to sacrifice a thousand souls? why are they concerned with Dewi Api and want to bring forth her army? did they know Jatmiko was behind the mask? did they know the necklace Adinegara had wasn't the real one? who are they in the grand scheme of things other than scummy rich men stepping all over the poor?
also Giselle. what happened to her and what was she hiding about Mateo's murder?
is Adinegara even stopped in his tracks?
i honestly wanted Tangguh to be placed in more imminent danger. if he already has a target on his back for being too intrusive, then maybe have Adinegara send goonies after him. this could connect him more solidly to Al, who is also being hunted down by Adinegara. it would work out better than randomly meeting each other in the rusun.
Tangguh does end up helping Al by having the motive to help out his neighbours and the working class in the rusun, who are being mistreated by the rich. but considering his whole gig was as a journalist, he should've had a mission about documenting the whole story and could've introduced Al to the public after she saved them
the ACAB plotline could've been done better. Jatmiko was the villain disguised as a grey character but he's not grey enough imo bc he didn't have a solid intention for playing both sides
the action scenes were spectacular btw, i usually get bored at action scenes if they go on for too long but this movie did not make me sleepy
that's all i have currently. i'll be watching the movie again next week, so i'll be adding onto this after a rewatch as i think of more stuff. overall the movie was a 9/10! totally worth the wait
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Part 1# A Fandom Worse Than It's Content: A Reitanna Seishin Multi-Part Explanation
As of composing this post, it's been almost over 4 years since it began—The hate has long since simmered down from it's previous boil. The informed I do not doubt are lost on why I'm not letting sleeping dogs lie—Why on this God's green earth another person is discussing any matter related to Reitanna yet again.
To start off, this blog isn't a discussion on Reitanna—But one about the unspoken part of her fandom's history that's been left unarchived, and arguably, purposely buried. Threw a series of posts, i'll be going in-depth on where her loyal haters came from in early 2020. I will do my best to be brief, and to the point. This is a emotionally heavy subject for me, so apologies if I stray away from just facts on occasion. (Read Trigger-Warnings & Post Guide Here)
(Art by Reitanna Seishin)
It was 2019, late September. Reitanna finds her channel hacked after clicking on a spam pop-up saying her channel was under threat of being shutdown. Reasonably, she panicked and clicked the link—But because of that, she found herself locked out of her own channel with a stranger posting Donald Trump propaganda videos on her account.
Following the hack, Detective Scary would make a video on the topic—Bellow is a reupload, left unlisted and with it's comments turned off: This is due to this purely being evidence of events.
youtube
Another video created was by Here For Nothing, this video was just a general discussion of events and what at the time thoughts were.
We intersect here, and leave Reitanna behind—As during this period, none of the above was known by fans, or a fan creator who at the time went by Kara Mendoza. She would create a short 2-3 minute video announcing the hack, and the creation of a discord server for fans to join and offer support.
Many confused fans would join and try to peace together what had happened—And whether or not they could help. This included myself, who was 15 during that period. The server was a welcoming place, as fans were eager to get to know each other. You could often find discord calls filled with a good 6-7 people in them at a time.
I'd meet almost everyone i'll be talking about there, and despite my at the time anxiety at the circumstances—I was excited at the potential of getting to make new friends. It felt like I was a part of something bigger than myself, something important. I think many of us felt that way.
The server owner would continue with her Reitanna update videos—But Reitanna's channel would end up being a backdrop compared to the situation that would begin to rapidly unfurl.
Most knew about the Kiwi Farms, Reitanna herself did too—No one agreed with it's existence however (no fans, anyways.) But they'd learn to care that it existed at all as the fan server would be raided, and everyone would soon need to server hop.
Detective Scary would be found out to be a Kiwi Farmer (See screenshot above) whether they had a hand in the server raid I do not know. All I can say is to me they seemed impartial and more of a spectator instead of an active instigator. They deleted the video above, and after that I never heard about them again.
Clownfish345 was someone who went by the tag ''Dank Memes'' on Discord. I mention this, as they will be mentioned later. But for now just know them as the one who leaked the servers invite onto the forum at the beginning.
Before we continue, I do not stand deadnaming or misgendering. I do not care how much I or anyone else hate these people, everyone deserves respect. Mandi does not go by Kara anymore (At least that's what I've heard threw the grapevine) So in all the other posts that is how she will be referred to, I only said her deadname at all so people would know who I am talking about.
Along with that, if I am contacted about an event being misrepresented I will do my best to either exclude, or include information as needed.
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The Argument || Peter Parker
pairing: peter parker x avenger!reader
summary: you and peter get in a fight and the other avengers can’t help but overhear
a/n: i have like four things in my drafts right now that i can’t seem to finish, but i had a sudden burst of inspiration to write this instead of studying so here we are! hope you enjoy! (reader’s super power is similar to wanda’s in a way except with gold rather than red)
word count: 2.2k
warnings: lots of swearing, loud arguing, angst with happy ending
masterlist || request
You and your boyfriend Peter stood, glaring at each other from opposite corners of your bedroom. Your hands were balled into fists at your sides as you looked at him from across the room with anger mixed hurt written all over your face.
“Are you serious right now, Peter?” You asked him, raising your voice with each sentence. “Are you dead serious right now? You know I’m a fucking Avenger right? I’m sorry if me being around other guys makes you uncomfortable but it’s kind of part of my job.”
Peter huffed, rolling his eyes and threw his hands up in the air. “So what? This is my fault now?” He gestured towards himself, raising his voice at you.
“You’re the one who’s pissed at me because I’m nice to other guys.” You scoffed. “It’s fine, Peter. Next time a guy needs saving I’ll be sure to tell him that Spider-Man doesn’t trust his girlfriend so he’ll have to figure it out himself.”
At the words that just came out of your mouth, Peter laughed out loud. It wasn’t the sweet laugh you always loved hearing in the mornings or the one where he would find something so hilarious that he would be out of breath, but one that just screamed that he could not believe what you had just said.
“Me?” He shouted. “You’re the one who always gets mad at me for ‘getting too cozy with girls’. I’m doing my job! You see one photo of me saving a girl- from a fire might I add- and you don’t talk to me for two days because you were jealous. What do you want me to do?”
Peter bringing up this situation again just made you fume even more and he knew that. Despite the fact that you and Peter rarely fought, this instance had been mentioned in several arguments between the two of you, but you always held your ground.
You were now the one throwing your hands up in the air, beginning to pace across the room. “Oh! This fucking conversation again!” You shouted at him. “How many times do we have to go over this? When are you going to get it? She kissed you!”
You still remember every part of the footage from that day and the image had burned itself into your brain. It was a solo day for Spider-Man so you hadn’t found out until you had seen the news footage of your boyfriend swinging the girl to safety with her arms wrapped tightly around him and her head buried in the crook of his neck. Peter’s arm was wrapped securely around her waist as he assured her that everything was going to be okay. As soon as he stopped swinging, however, and landed her safely on the ground, she had placed her hands on either side of Peter’s masked face and pulled him into a kiss. Although he quickly scrambled out of it, you couldn’t help but feel sick seeing the image.
“I was wearing my mask, Y/n!” He shouted back, tugging on his hair in frustration. “It’s not like I went in to kiss her. She kissed me! I didn’t do anything!”
At his words, you stopped pacing and stomped across the room, stopping in front of your boyfriend. “You’re right, you didn’t do anything.” You spat. “She kissed you and yeah that’s fucked up, but you know what’s more fucked up? That you didn’t tell me! You knew some girl had kissed you and you just hoped I would never find out. Do you know what it was like to find out from a fucking news broadcast? Fuck, Peter! You lied to me about it!”
Peter took a deep breath, looking anywhere besides your face. “I’m not doing this.” He told you finally, shoving past you to reach the door and stomping out of your room.
Peter aggressively threw open your door and you yelled out of frustration before following him out the room. Your hands were once again balled into fists at your sides as you watched Peter stomp out of your bedroom and down the hallway leading up to the common room, all the while yelling at him to stop.
“Peter!” You shouted.
“I’m not talking to you like this!” He yelled back, his back still facing towards you. “When you calm down and admit that you’re wrong-“
He knew what he was doing and he knew it was just pissing you off to a new extreme. So much so, you could feel the golden glow of your magic radiating off your hands that were balled into fists at your sides.
When Peter continued walking with his back turned towards you, refusing to speak to you further, you flicked your wrist causing the magical glow to spread out from your hand to your boyfriend, forcing him to turn around and face you, stopping him in his spot.
“Don’t walk away while I’m talking to you.” You told him, the anger radiating from your body in the from of the golden glow of your magic surrounding you.
“Did you just use magic on me?” Peter asked in a mix of shock, disgust and anger.
What the two of you didn’t realize in the midst of your fuming rage at each other was that the two of you had stopped in front of the common room. What you also hadn’t noticed was that the room was occupied by some of your... colleagues.
“Did she-“ Sam began.
“She did.” Nat finished.
Peter and you continued to argue back and forth about the audacity of the other, oblivious to the others hearing every word and watching the two of you throw harsh words at each other. It was an endless argument concerning who had the right to be angry and the unanswerable question of who was really at fault. During which the rest of the group of revelers in the common room watched and listened.
“Who wants the bet this is about that girl that kissed underoos?” Tony asked.
“That? That was so long ago though.” Steve replied.
“A girl never forgets.” Nat finished, kicking back in her seat. “How would you feel if you saw someone kissing your girlfriend.” She asked Steve.
“Never had one.” Steve shrugged.
An awkward silence filled the room for a brief moment before Sam began again.
“Steve’s right.” He said. “What about yesterday when Y/n saved that guy from getting his car thrown by that giant android and it turned out to be her ex-boyfriend?”
The group collectively nodded their heads, remembering the events of yesterday and that night when Peter had become more awkward than usual after you confessed the situation to him.
You had never seen Peter so jealous before. The two of you met after you and Peter had graduated high school and with your busy schedules you were barely finding time to hang out with your friends, never mind meet new guys. Peter and your’s relationship was usually one of romantic bliss. Despite the chaos and danger occurring in each of your lives, there was barely an argument between the two of you besides the occasional mention of that one time.
You told Peter later that night about how you recognized the guy you saved as your ex-boyfriend from high school.You didn’t expect much of a reaction considering you had dated the guy so long ago and you were wearing your mask that covered the upper half of your face to maintain your secret identity. It wasn’t even as though he could recognize you- you were just doing your job. You told Peter out of wanting to be honest with him, not because you thought it mattered- because it didn't. Peter upon your confession, however, was standoffish the remainder of the night seeming to be lost in his own head.
You didn’t give it much thought and decided to give him his own space until this morning when he confronted you about it, leading to the heated argument the two of you were in right now.
“Both of you are right.” Wanda finally spoke up.
Everyone in the room then turned their heads to face her.
“Did you... did you read their minds?”
“No.” She told them. “These walls aren’t very thick.”
“Should we stop them?” Steve asked.
To that, both you and Peter shouted “No!”
That was the moment though where you both suddenly realized that there was a whole room of people watching as you and Peter argued. Both of you stopped arguing suddenly and turned to face the room full of your colleagues.
“Did you... um... hear all of that?” Peter asked, cooling off from the heated argument you two shared seconds before as he fiddled with his fingers, unable to meet their eyes.
“Do you even know how loud you two were being?” Tony asked, standing up from his seat. “It’s impossible not to hear. Both of you have to drop it-”
“But Mr. Stark-” Peter began.
“Nope.” Tony cut him off. “No ‘buts’. Are you two even listening to yourselves?”
“Tony-” Steve started, attempting to intervene and have Tony drop the situation.
“Listen Rogers, I know you’ve been waiting decades for a first date, but someone has to play couples counselor here.” He told him matter-of-factly turning back to face the two of you. “You.” He pointed at you first. “That kid would never ‘cheat’ on you okay? He worships the ground you walk on so drop it. I’m sick and tired of hearing this frankly idiotic conversation every other week.”
At his words, you felt your fists unclench at your sides and your muscles relax. You knew he was right. As hurt as you were, you knew Peter would never do anything to hurt you on purpose. You knew he loved you just as much as- if not more than- you loved him.
Just as you were about to open your mouth, Tony began again- this time pointing at Peter.
“And you.” He began. Although you were looking at Tony, you could see your boyfriend stiffen in the corner of your eye. “What did you want her to do? Let that guy die because he... what? Took her on a few dates back in high school? You two have been to space together for god’s sakes. She was just doing her job and you know that.”
The two of you stood in front of Tony Stark himself now, knowing he was right, but not knowing what to say. You turned to look at Peter, seeing his shoulders slouched and his cheeks red likely from both the attention and embarrassment.
“You two can apologize now.” Tony said finally, striding back to the armchair he was sitting in prior to the lecture he gave the two of you and seating himself in it.
You and Peter turned to each other, visibly relaxing as you stared at each other. Despite the flaws the both of you had, you each cared for the other more than anyone else.
You wrapped your arms around yourself, being the first to apologize. “I’m sorry, Pete.” You apologized to him in almost a whisper. “I guess I was just hurt that you thought I could look at anyone else the way that I look at you.”
Peter sighed and you could see the sadness in his eyes that he felt from hurting you. You knew he never meant to hurt you and he was just hurt the same way you were.
“No... I’m sorry, Y/n.” He stepped forward to meet you, placing his hands gently on your arms that were wrapped around yourself. “It just sucked to think of you with some other guy.”
At his apology, you uncrossed your arms, instead reaching out for Peter’s hands. Squeezing his hands in yours you told him, “Peter, he doesn’t matter to me anymore. I love you.”
“Not just that, Y/n.” Although your words meant a lot to him, Peter shook his head. “I don’t know... sometimes I just think that you might want something more... I don’t know... normal. I can’t give you that normal, peaceful stuff so I guess I just get worried. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you though.”
Now it was your turn to shake your head as you gazed at your boyfriend. “Pete, you know I could never do normal” You chuckled. “I just got so angry at you that I had magic radiating off of me. Sure, normal would be easier, but I would choose crazy every day as long as I get to be with you.”
Finally you felt the last of the argument and rage that came with it disappear as a feeling of peace and calm washed over the two of you. You let go of Peter’s hands only to wrap them around his neck while his made their away around your torso.
“Gross.” Nat mumbled from her seat.
“I think I actually preferred when they were arguing.” Tony said in disgust.
You and Peter smiled at each other, able to hear the conversation between the others going on in the common room. You laughed as you looked into his eyes, slowly pulling your boyfriend into a kiss.
You and your boyfriend laughed into the kiss as you heard the group erupt into groans of disgust and annoyance. Although you and Peter didn’t have the perfect relationship and each of you had your flaws, at the end of the day you knew you would choose each other every time.
“Okay... Now do we stop them?”
#peter parker x reader#peter parker x you#peter parker x y/n#peter parker fic#peter parker fanfiction#peter parker angst#peter parker fluff#peter parker oneshot#peter parker imagine#peter parker blurb#peter parker drabble#spiderman x reader#spiderman x you#spiderman x yn
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⊶ final sleigh (m). ⊷
You took an (almost) immediate dislike to Seokjin during his first week at the office and six months later that distaste is not only still going strong, but also mutual. Working in sales, you view one another as competition, so what happens when you’re forced to organise the Christmas office party together? It’s a recipe for disaster, but one thing’s for sure, it doesn’t end the way you imagined it...
(Spoiler alert: you don’t wind up murdering him.)
pairing; kim seokjin x reader
au/genre/warnings; workplace/office au, enemies/rivals to lovers, starts off as a holiday au but drabbles further develop the story, rom-com, hoseok, namjoon, jungkook and yoongi make appearances, smut; drunk grinding, drunk kissing, workplace (oral) sex, storeroom (oral) sex, oral sex (male & female receiving), fingering, dirty talk, jin has a big dick (obv)
words; 23,363
continuing drabbles found here
Every year without fail you organised the office Christmas party at Jung&Co. As part of the office party committee it was of course a given. There were only two of you but as a workplace of just 12 that was ample enough. This year however, things were a little different, no matter how marginally. Joy was on maternity leave so you were now on your own this time around. Not that you minded. You could hold the fort no problem until she came back in January and you had to plan Creed, the quality assurance director’s birthday party.
Only Hoseok, your manager didn’t see it that simple. Insisted you needed an extra set of helping hands. Who? Was your first thought. No one had ever offered to help in the past three years and why would they start now? However, you were forgetting something… or should you say, someone. A new someone who you were sure had been transferred here to make your life a total misery. It was like someone up there had it in for you, and you couldn’t think of one explanation why. You were a good person; you donated to a cat shelter every month, you paid your taxes, you were always helpful and friendly, amazing at your job… The list went on. In fact, you were the best damn sales rep at this branch, high above the rest – Well… That was until he showed up.
“I’ll do it.” You heard Seokjin offer indifferently, as if he didn’t care a damn about the Christmas party. You knew he didn’t.
You swung around immediately, your chair squeaking against the wooden flooring with the force. You scoffed patronisingly. “Pfft. You?” You had never heard anything so unbelievable in your whole life.
Seokjin regarded you from where he sat in the back row. Hoseok had called a meeting this morning, needing to find a replacement for Joy as time was creeping up. it was a month until Christmas closure. The day the party was held, and he knew how much you liked to keep on top of things. You weren’t to be rushed.
“Yes. Me.” Of course he was smirking. “Why? Got a problem?”
Beside him, Jungkook the intern, looked between you both unsurely. No doubt the rest of your co-workers were too. This had become the norm now. They stayed silent every time you and he started squabbling. The past few months had been one big whirlwind of bickering and rivalry. Seokjin was your biggest competition. He was also the thorn in your side. Ever since he’d transferred branches from his hometown six months ago life in the office hadn’t been the same for you. It didn’t help that your desks were also situated next to one another. You had to sit opposite his annoying face 8 hours a day, five days a week. It was a living hell. And now you’d be forced to spend even more time with him? Over your dead body.
“No.” You folded your arms, still looking over at him from where you sat in the front. He wouldn’t win. You wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he was successfully getting to you. “You want to organise the office Christmas party?”
Of course you were calling his bluff. He was 100% doing this to piss you off. You were certain.
He chuckled. “I don’t know why it’s so unbelievable.”
You scoffed, growing frustrated. “You’re a guy!”
He raised one of his eyebrows. “Excuse me? Is that sexism I detect?” One corner of his mouth twitched. “Do I have to report you to Tim?”
Tim, the HR rep went to speak up, no doubt trying to pacify the situation, but already out of hand, you spoke over him, voice shrill. “Oh shut up, Seokjin.” Damn it, you’d bitten, hadn’t you? He was holding back his laughter. He knew what you meant. Your wording came out wrong, so you needed to correct yourself.
“I’m just saying, you don’t seem like a guy who loves to party plan in his spare time.”
He grinned widely, as smug as ever. “Well, I’m full of surprises, baby.”
Unimpressed you stared him down. “Do I need to report you to Tim for harassment?”
You weren’t paying attention to Tim this time around but no doubt he looked lost. He was an older, quiet man who seemed unsure what he was doing here most of the time. Seokjin didn’t help matters.
“For what?” He exclaimed. “Calling you baby? It’s a term of endearment.”
“Not from you it isn’t.”
Jungkook sniggered at that and you felt a little smug. Seokjin went to open his mouth, no doubt a clever comeback hot on his tongue, but Hoseok interrupted.
“Guys. Stop bickering or neither of you will be planning this party.”
You immediately spun around, facing the front. Seokjin wasn’t fucking this up for you. Although you didn’t think Hoseok would ever take that role away from you. He might have been your manager – and the CEO’s son – but you saw him as a friend. He never threw his authority around.
You crossed your arms as his attention fell to Seokjin, silently huffing. “Jin, please tell us why you nominated yourself.”
“Well,” he started his spiel, laying it on thick. You refused to look his way, even as everyone else in the conference room gave him their attention. “I love Christmas and I love organising things.” He made it sound so simple. Infuriating bastard. “I was always the person they counted on back home. I know how to throw a paaar-tayyyy!”
At his holler, he and Jungkook gave one another a high five, whooping at each other like a pair of idiots. It was impossible to think that Seokjin was the same age as you, a whole five years older than Jungkook. They obviously shared the same mental age.
“Well you’re not back home now.” You couldn’t help yourself, whipping around to tell him what was what. “I’m the one in charge here. I have the final say.” Sneering, you added, “You’d just be the help.”
Seokjin’s jaw twitched. You were irritating him now. You took great joy in that. “Hoseok said it was 50/50.”
“More like 75/25 where you’re concerned.”
“In my favour, yes.”
You felt your anger flare. “Hoseokkk,” you whined, turning your back to Seokjerk. “You can’t be serious letting him join the party planning committee?”
You knew he was doing it on purpose. He had no interest in helping you – he just wanted to annoy you, to take over.
Hoseok looked at you sympathetically. “Do you see anyone else offering to help, Y/N? Besides, it’s just for Christmas.” When you didn’t relent, he sighed. “You can’t do it all on your own.”
You held your arms tight across your chest, pouting like a big kid. “Watch me.”
“Impossible,” he chuckled softly. “You should be thanking Seokjin for being so helpful.”
Men. They were all traitors. Of course Hoseok would be in Seokjin’s favour, they once worked together back at the other branch just before Hoseok became manager here.
“Yeah, Y/N,” Seokjin called. You just knew he had that shit eating grin spread across his face, the one that plagued your nightmares – You could hear it in his tone. “You should be thanking me. But take your time, I know admitting defeat is hard for you.”
You breathed deeply through your nose, reminding yourself to stay calm, else he’d end up throttled by the time this party rolled around…
“Chop, chop!”
From your peripheral you could see Seokjin stood over you, clapping his hands, his crotch obscenely eye level. You pursed your mouth and continued typing up your report that needed to be in by today. You couldn’t bear to look at him, still mad from yesterday, and no doubt he just wanted to annoy you some more – his sole purpose it seemed. What a sad little life he lived.
“Y/N,” he prompted. You bit the inside of your cheek, exhaling through your nose. He wasn’t relenting, but lucky for you, lunch was in just over an hour. You could grin and bear him until then, surely?
“What?” You snapped, beginning to turn your head.
“We have our first meeting in five.”
You mouth grew dry as you made eye contact, but it wasn’t because of what he said, actually you barely had time to register it, his pearly whites pretty much dazzling you as he grinned.
You might have forgotten to mention a tiny detail about Seokjin, one you tried your best to forget, and tiny it was because it barely had an effect on you… Begrudgingly, you had to admit he was objectively handsome. Before you had taken that almost instantaneous dislike to him six months ago, you will confess that the first sighting of him had turned you a little weak at the knees. You were only human after all and you could appreciate a good looking face when you saw one. He even made Beryl and Michelle, who well into their sixties, giddy with a simple Good Morning – and he knew it. He knew how hot he was, which for you, just added to his overall lack of appeal.
However, sometimes he caught you off guard.
Like now.
You swallowed with some difficulty, willing saliva to coat the inside of your mouth, and ignoring the way the crisp white dress shirt hugged his waist, tucked into those very well fitting black pants of his (maybe too well fitting…), you let his words piece together.
“…Meeting?”
You furrowed your eyebrows slightly, what was he talking about? Hoseok hadn’t announced anything this morning. Was he just messing with you? You weren’t Jungkook. Those two might love playing pranks on one another, but you were actually mature in the workplace.
At the thought of Jungkook, you could hear him giggling up at the front of the office with the receptionist, Mina. How Hoseok hadn’t gathered they were sleeping together yet was beyond you. Actually, you were sure the rest of the office were slow to catch on too, but you maybe you had a clear (dis)advantage. You had to hear him and Seokjin discussing it more or less every single day – because men were dense and didn’t realise that no matter how low they spoke, a metre distance would not stop you from overhearing.
“Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten about the Christmas party already?” Seokjin continued to grin – and that’s when you realised it wasn’t of the friendly kind. It was of the provoking kind, because he wanted to piss you off. “I thought this was your area of expertise.”
You could feel your blood beginning to boil, your work forgotten on the screen. “You called a meeting without telling me?”
He shrugged. “What am I doing right now?” What, mere seconds before it started? You really were going to end up killing him one of these days. “I booked the conference room this morning.”
You grit your teeth together. “I organise the meetings.”
“Get a life.” He scoffed, judging you hard. “Besides, you’re a bit slow on the ball, aren’t you?”
“The party isn’t for another month.”
“Three weeks and 6 days actually,” he corrected. Then with a wink, he added, “I like being on top of things.”
You ignored his shitty (and inappropriate) innuendo with a roll of your eyes. “I was going to wait until Monday.” How dare he suggest you were unorganised.
With another lazy roll of his shoulders, he started to walk off, towards the small conference room situated in the office. “You snooze you lose.” Turning back casually, he pointed a finger to your desk. “Bring a notebook.”
Trying to laser through him with your best death glare you grabbed your notebook and stood up. He was treading on thin ice.
.
.
“This thing sounds dry as the Sahara,” Seokjin wailed loudly, hanging his head towards his (blank) notebook on the desk.
“Well you know where the door is,” you smiled. “I’m perfectly capable of organising this party on my own.”
Actually, if he didn’t like how you celebrated Christmas here, he could leave entirely. You wouldn’t miss him, and the others would surely get over it. You didn’t understand why they thought he was so amazing anyway. His sense of humour was grating to say the least – as well as his overall personality. He was nothing but a glorified salesman who walked the walk and talked the talk. You actually cared about your clients. All he cared about was numbers to help him boast, even if that meant stealing –
Never mind. That was in the past. You were the bigger person, you reminded yourself.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Seokjin scoffed, turning to look at you. He’d insisted you sat next to him even though you had been quite happy to sit at the furthest end of the table. “This place needs some Seokjin zest. Add a little flavour – a little spice.”
You dropped your head, muttering arrogant bastard under your breath as you picked up your pen to start brainstorming some ideas.
“What was that?” He asked, obviously hearing you.
You played dumb. “What was what?”
Thankfully, for the next ten minutes a very much welcomed silence fell over you as you both jotted down some ideas, although you were pretty sure Seokjin was just doodling at this point. Probably stickmen like the five year old he was. In between planning you threw a few texts your best friend’s way.
(12:14pm) You: Remind me why we tolerate men again?
(12:15pm) Ana: For their dicks
(12:15pm) Ana: But only if they’re pretty and they know how to use it
(12:15pm) Ana: What’s up?
(12:17pm) You: Guess who organised the first Christmas party meeting without telling me first 🙂
(12:18pm) Ana: Oh
(12:19pm) You: Exactly
(12:19pm) Ana: Dick cheese
(12:20pm) Ana: Definitely not tolerable
You snorted at the mention of Seokjin’s nickname. Ana knew all about your very vocal disdain for the guy – in fact, she’d had to hear it all over again last night when you’d called her to complain about the very unfortunate turn in Christmas party planning events.
“Is that work or party related?”
Frustratingly, your obvious amusement had caught Dick cheese’s attention. “Shut up,” you muttered, but you did hide your phone from view, placing it screen down on the table. Hopefully he hadn’t caught a glimpse at anything dick and cheese related. He was definitely the type to report you to Tim for workplace bullying.
You turned to look at him, childishly taking great pleasure in the way a piece of his brown hair had bunched up on top of his head – probably from where’d he’d been itching, racking his pea-sized brain for ideas. He hadn’t noticed, and you weren’t going to point it out. He’d realise soon enough when he had to use the restroom – unless he didn’t wash his hands afterwards, which wouldn’t surprise you.
“We’re in a meeting, save texting your boyfriend for lunch.”
“I’m not texting – never mind.” You stopped yourself. There was no point biting. He wanted you to do that, knowing the insinuating tone he’d used would surely get you mad. As if you’d ever have a boyfriend, ha ha, very funny and original – NOT. He needed better jokes.
“If you were actually bringing something to the table I wouldn’t be bored enough to get distracted,” you shot instead.
He looked wholeheartedly offended. “I’m not the only one involved in this. You think of some ideas.”
“I have been.” You replied loudly. “It’s the same process every year, okay? Theme, food and Secret Santa. That’s all we need to organise.” You’d already been through this.
“So fucking boring,” he groaned slowly.
“You’re wrong.”
He snorted, visibly amused by your insistence. “And that Y/N, is why you are a square.”
“You don’t even know me!” You exclaimed.
“I know enough. I’ve sat opposite you for the past six months.”
“Yeah, and don’t I know it,” you muttered. You had not known peace since.
He laughed then, surprising you enough to make you jump a little. “Babe, are you ever going to forgive me for Rosal & Steinar?”
You glared at him. How dare he bring that up. It was a very sensitive topic, one you wanted to forget about because each time it popped up inside your brain you wanted to kick him – aggressively and relentlessly.
Seokjin’s first week here had not been good for you. First, he had made you weak at the knees by just casually existing, then, Hoseok had introduced him as Jung&Co.’s best salesperson, and lastly, after being struck down with a terrible cold, you’d been sent home from work on the morning of your biggest client’s renewal day. Hoseok had insisted that you couldn’t sell stationary without a voice. You had claimed you could, but it wasn’t good enough. You were sick and needed to go before you infected anyone else.
The following Monday, still snorting sinus spray like it was cocaine, you’d arrived at work to find out that Rosal & Steinar had renewed their contract… with Seokjin. Life couldn’t have been going anymore wrong. In the past month you’d had to deal with the guilt of breaking off a two year relationship, acquiring a new competition in your place of work that had ultimately already lost you your best client, and you’d gotten sick for the first time in four years.
You blamed Seokjin. He’d been sent to curse you. (Although, admittedly the breakup had happened before you’d known of his existence… Not that it mattered.)
That’s why it was now your life’s goal to become Jung&Co.’s best salesperson, because Hoseok’s opinion didn’t mean shit, and one way or another you were going to take down Seokjin.
So yeah, no matter how much you insisted that the past was in the past, it obviously wasn’t.
You raised an eyebrow, choosing to ignore his question. “What did I say about reporting you?” You weren’t his babe. Or baby. Or whatever else he liked to use.
“Sorry,” he apologised, rather genuinely at that, which was surprising. “It was a slip of the tongue.”
You let out a short sigh. “Let’s just get on with this. There’s half an hour until lunch and I need to leave on time to meet my friend.” Neither of you had thought of anything solid yet.
“Is that who you were messaging?”
Seokjin seemed curious – interested? You couldn’t think of the correct word. Either way he was getting too friendly and pushing boundaries you’d rather not have him cross. “Is that any of your business?”
He shrugged, unaffected, and got back down to business. “Why can’t we just rent out a venue? Nothing is fun without any booze.”
“We don’t do that anymore,” you answered.
“How come?”
You inwardly groaned. You didn’t really want to get into it, this meeting had already been a complete and utter flop, but you guessed if you told him why you no longer celebrated outside of office hours he’d understand and shut up about the damn office party.
“It was a while ago. Before Hoseok was manager.” You began. “We used to all have Christmas lunch and then go out for drinks… and it was fun, don’t get me wrong,” you emphasised, knowing that he was just itching to call you boring. “But the last time we did it, our manager at the time ended up sleeping with the married receptionist and –”
“Mina?!” Seokjin exclaimed, interrupting story time.
“No, not Mina,” you cried. As if Jungkook would be oblivious to the fact she was married, but then again, he was pretty dumb. He’d been here eight months already and still didn’t know how to photocopy properly.
“Before her.” You stressed, noticing the shock on Seokjin’s face disappear. “They were both wasted but it was still no excuse. Her husband found out, charged into the office Monday morning.”
“Oh, fuck.” Seokjin chuckled, obviously enjoying the drama.
“He was ready to fight but it didn’t end well, because… our manager was a black belt.”
You winced at the memory, remembering that morning very well. The initial shock, the screams, your manager morphing into the Hulk… the punches… the blood… It was crazy to say the least, and after Christmas you never saw the man again. Devin, the CFO, informed you he’d “moved on” by his own willing but you didn’t really believe that. Hoseok was his replacement. Mina was hired shortly after when Kevin couldn’t handle the stress of being an accountant and a receptionist on the side.
“Brilliant,” Seokjin laughed, clapping his hands together. “So, the guy who’d gotten cheated on had the shit kicked out of him in front of the whole office?”
“Pretty much,” you nodded, still feeling a little sad for the man even though it was three years ago now – and you didn’t even know his name. “Ever since then it’s been a buffet in the conference room kind of thing.”
Looking over at Seokjin then, you suddenly had the urge to add, “It’s safer. No one ends up fucking that way.”
His eyes bulged and he broke into a little cough at the shock of the word falling from your mouth so easily, choking on his own laugh. “Fuck…” He went to repeat, only petering off last minute, shaking his head in disbelief.
You tried not to feel smug about it but you couldn’t help it. Lame, yes you were.
“Fine,” Seokjin sighed, resignation in his tone. “Stupid fricking office party it is.”
“I’m glad that we finally agree on something.”
He just rolled his eyes at you.
The next couple of weeks went by quite fast and slowly, in between work, you and Seokjin actually got somewhere with the party planning – surprisingly. At first he’d been adamant to separate each job between you, but that was only because he wanted to be in charge of the theme. You’d point-blank refused. As much as you hated it, you needed to work together as a team, so that meant making decisions together. Star Wars at Christmas wasn’t exactly something you agreed on, but neither was Christmas cats. (“You need to get laid ASAP”, had been his words when you’d suggested such an idea… but he didn’t really have a leg to stand on as a Star Wars fan, so…).
Finally, after just over a week of brainstorming (and bickering), you decided on something: Family Christmas. It wasn’t the most original idea, but it was something, and you’d already thought of a bunch of things to do ready for it, which involved Jungkook getting his camera out and everyone dressing up in their holiday pyjamas.
It was a Monday afternoon right now, an hour until you went home for the day, and you and he were making use of some spare time you had – making a list of all the decorations you needed to purchase. He’d dragged his chair over to your desk which you weren’t very happy about but what could you do? Sometimes sacrifices had to be made, especially when it came down to Christmas.
“It was my birthday over the weekend,” Seokjin told you casually.
“Oh, was it?”
You could feel his gaze on your face as you scribbled down in your notebook. “Didn’t you see on Facebook? Everyone was wishing me happy birthday.”
“Were they?” You said impassively, now aware he was itching for some attention. “I don’t go on there that much.” Why you’d accepted his friend request still baffled you, but you were always the bigger, better person in life. Plus, you’d stopped logging in months ago.
There was a pause. Ahh, lovely, silence. What bliss –
“I mentioned it Friday too.”
You sighed, turning to look at him. “Happy belated birthday, Seokjin. I hope you had a good day.”
He grinned. There it was, what he’d been after. He was such a kid. “Thanks. I did actually, I went –”
“Is Hoseok around?”
Your attention was stolen by the sound of someone’s voice – Namjoon’s voice, and you looked to the reception desk to see him stood beside it. You swooned a little at the sight of him; legs long enough to climb, a butt hard enough to crack walnuts with – chest too. Namjoon was the foreman of the warehouse on the ground floor. He was handsome, charming, and genuinely a nice person. You hadn’t seen him for a while, so you were definitely caught by surprise.
“Yeah, he’s in his office,” Mina replied with a smile, watching his ass as he turned and started walking away. You didn’t blame her.
“Hi, Y/N.” He gave you a dazzling smile as he noticed you, bypassing your boss’ office to make his way over.
“Hi, Joon.” You greeted, unable to stop smiling like an idiot. “How are you?”
“Busy, he shrugged. Leaning in, you felt your pulse begin to quicken. “You don’t go clubbing anymore? I haven’t seen you around.”
“Ana got pretty bored of it.”
That was a lie actually. One you’d thought of on the spot. It wasn’t that you disliked going out, although you did feel too old for it now – the hangovers just kept getting worse – but when you’d started meeting up with Namjoon and his friends in the summer you’d been on a little Quest for Fun. You blamed it on the breakup. Now that you were over it, and had been for quite some time, clubbing wasn’t near as appealing as it used to be. You much preferred staying in and sitting in front of the television.
“That shouldn’t stop you. I can always be your company if you’re lonely,” he smirked, that pesky dimple sending your heart a flutter. He always did this. Flirting came so natural to him, he was great at it.
You heard someone clearing their throat to the side of you. Namjoon and you both looked over at the same time. Oh, right… Seokjin was here. You’d actually forgotten about him.
“Hey, man,” Namjoon smiled politely. They didn’t know each other too well, but that didn’t stop Namjoon from being friendly. He looked down at your notebook. “What are you guys up to?”
The question was definitely directed to you but Seokjin answered anyway. “Organising the office Christmas party.”
“Ahhh.” Namjoon nodded, smirking your way, Seokjin once again forgotten. “Do I get an invite?”
You smiled, raising an eyebrow. “Don’t you always?” He and the guys downstairs always popped up and joined in on the celebrations, but yes, okay, maybe you were flirting too… You couldn’t help it, not after what happened last –
“Namjoon?”
Hoseok’s voice interrupted your thoughts and you looked over Namjoon’s shoulder, seeing him stood in his doorway.
Namjoon sighed, taking a step backwards. “I gotta go, business calls, beautiful. See you around.” Turning his back to you he started to walk off, only to glance over his shoulder last minute, shooting you a wink. “Remember, if you’re ever feeling lonely…”
You giggled, giving him a wave and watched him follow Hoseok into his office.
“What was that?” Seokjin asked, sounding absolutely baffled.
“What was what?” You shot, now realising you’d turned to mush right in front of him.
“That,” he exclaimed. “You and Namjoon all over one another.” He paused to pull a face. “I’ve come all over all queasy.”
“Shut up,” you brushed off. “We weren’t.”
He looked at you as if you’d gone mad. “The looks! The winking. The way your voice went all high-pitched… Do you like him?”
“As a friend,” you stressed. Although, what was it to him?!
He stared at you. “So nothing’s going on between the two of you?”
“No.”
“You expect me to believe that?”
“I don’t expect you to do anything,” you shook your head, laughing in confusion. “I don’t care if you believe me or not.”
Seokjin dropped it thankfully and you got back to your list, jotting down a few more things you needed. It was until Namjoon reappeared from Hoseok’s office and waved goodbye to you that Seokjin couldn’t contain himself any longer.
“What?” You demanded when you heard him scoff to himself.
“He definitely wants to fuck you.” He shook his head. “Trust me. I have a males sixth sense when it comes to that.”
You could feel yourself growing mad. That’s why you ultimately ended up spilling. As stupid as it was. “Maybe he already has…”
It took a moment for Seokjin to make sense of your words. “W-what?” You could physically see when the penny dropped, it was actually quite amusing. You liked making him speechless. “You and Namjoon already… When?!”
You shrugged, feeling mildly embarrassed. “It was during the summer.” You tried to think of more things you’d need for this party but your mind was now a blur and Seokjin wouldn’t let you anyway.
“You can’t just drop that and not give me details,” he cried.
“Keep your voice down,” you hissed. Nobody knew bar Ana. Who had been the with you the night you and Namjoon had hooked up. It wasn’t exactly a secret, but you didn’t want the whole office knowing your business.
Seokjin looked at you wide-eyed, patiently – or not so – waiting for you to explain yourself. You grumbled, not quite believing you were about to tell him, you didn’t want him knowing your business, but then again, it was a great feeling knowing that you’d shocked him. “I’d just… I’d just broken up with my boyfriend and I wanted to… let loose a little. It was just a one time thing.”
But it had been good – amazing, actually. A repeat had never shown itself, but you were happy enough for it to be a onetime thing.
“You have one night stands?” Seokjin asked, although you were sure it was rhetorical.
“It happened once.”
He wasn’t listening. “And here I was thinking you were a prude.”
“Like I said before, you don’t know me.”
Seokjin chuckled, amused by your attitude. It sent your insides a little jittery – but only for a split second – and it could’ve very well been annoyance. “So… How was it?”
“Excuse me?”
“How was the sex?”
“I’m not answering that,” you refused.
“Why not?” He looked puzzled. “What’s a bit of hook up talk amongst friends?”
“Friends?” You repeated with a chortle. “Good one.”
He ignored you. “Come on. I’ll tell you about the sex I had over the weekend. Birthday sex is always the best. One hook up story for another.”
You pulled a face, unsure why the idea of Seokjin getting in on was so unpleasant, but then he laughed. It was loud, and partly squeaky. Contagious too. You couldn’t help but join in. “Go away.” You whined, pushing at his shoulder. You were not going into detail, palming him off. “I can’t even remember it.”
“Ouch.” Seokjin sniggered. “Don’t tell him that. It seems like he thinks about it every goddamn night.”
Pfftt. You doubted that. “I mean, it was ages ago.”
“That shouldn’t matter, babe,” Seokjin tutted. “You never forget a good time.”
“Are you purposely trying to be an asshole?” If he called you babe one more time, you swore to God…
“I’m not trying.” He smirked, face falling as he realised that hadn’t been worded correctly. “…Wait.”
Okay then, he was just a natural asshole. Good to know.
Begrudgingly, you had to admit you and Seokjin made a pretty good team once you put aside your issues with one another. With the theme decided, it was easy enough to get everything in place. Jungkook took the “family” photos you needed of the staff and you went to get them professionally printed, shoving them in frames ready to place around the office in preparation. Seokjin found a lot of the decorations needed, which was actually very helpful of him. You were so impressed you even agreed to let him decorate the conference room all by himself when the time came. The office was already overflowing with tinsel, the Christmas tree up, but the conference room was always left for the day of the party, the last Friday before the company closed for Christmas.
Secret Santa had been organised too. Quite unfortunately you’d pulled out Seokjin’s name (see, you were cursed,) but you’d bought the first pair of cufflinks you’d found in the department store last week, so you didn’t have to worry about that for long. All that was left now was the buffet. And that’s how you found yourself sat in Seokjin’s kitchen on a Friday night, a week to go until D-Day…
There hadn’t been time to look over the restaurant’s menu in work hours, and you’d given up trying to organise things over Skype with him. The first and last time you’d tried that, Seokjin had added Jungkook into the call, both of them getting ready to game. It had been a mess to say the least, so the only other option was to meet up after work. Seokjin had been the first to invite you over, so here you were. It wasn’t as if you purposely didn’t want him to step foot inside your home. He wasn’t that bad.
His apartment wasn’t either… He lived with his best friend, an interior architect, which made a lot of sense once Seokjin told you. Unless you were confusing it for an interior designer, which you probably were – either way, this place was cool. And spotless. It smelt nice too. Always a plus.
You were halfway done picking through the menu when his phone started ringing. You noticed him hesitate, as if he wondering if he should pick up but ultimately decided to after a few rings.
“Hey mom,” he greeted, glancing over at you to mouth sorry.
You shook your head to tell him it was okay and pulled out your phone from your hoody pocket, taking the break to scroll through social media. A text pinged through from Ana, wondering what dress she should wear tomorrow night when you went out for drinks. Every year you went out just before Christmas, despite how much you complained. It was mandatory now, but undeniably Ana took it a lot more serious than you. You had no idea what you’d be wearing tomorrow and wouldn’t until an hour before the Uber came to get you.
“I know that, but I just can’t leave him,” Seokjin sighed beside you. You paused, having never heard him sound quite like that before. He sounded… serious for one. And frustrated. You replied to Ana quickly, trying your best not to overhear anymore – which was difficult. You were practically brushing shoulders at the kitchen table.
“I don’t think he wants to come. He said he doesn’t even want to celebrate this year.”
Again, you were doing a terrible job at this. Whatever this was about, you were beginning to feel rude listening in. But then again, if Seokjin didn’t want you to hear then surely he would’ve stepped into the living room. You were being a goddamn worrier.
“Okay, I’ll speak to you soon, bye. Love you.”
Love you? Seokjin told his mom he loved her? The revelation caught you off guard, forgetting that he was off the phone now and as you heard him clear his throat, shoving the device into his sweatpants pocket, you jumped, copying and slipping yours back inside your hoody.
“Sorry about that,” he apologised. “It was my mom.”
“It’s fine.” You reassured. He sounded a little dejected all of a sudden, a far cry from ten minutes ago when he’d been laughing over the word vol-au-vent. You hesitated, wondering if you should ask if everything was okay? You felt a little awkward, as if you were pushing boundaries, but surprisingly he told you himself without any prompting.
“She really wants me to come home for Christmas but I can’t leave Yoongi.” He definitely sounded exasperated now.
“Yoongi?” You repeated, a little lost.
Seokjin glanced at you, narrowing his eyes as if he was trying to guess if you were messing around or not. “My best friend…” He said slowly. “Y’know, the one I live with…”
“Oh.”
You fool. Now it looked like you hadn’t been listening to him. You had been, you really had, the name just slipped your mind momentarily. After only an hour… “Sorry,” you murmured.
He shrugged, carrying on. “I kinda owe him one.”
“How come?” The menu now laid forgotten.
Seokjin sighed. “It’s kind of a long story.” You waited to see if he’d care to explain, although of course he didn’t have to if he didn’t want to. “His girlfriend broke up with him about a month ago and he’s been pretty cut up ever since.”
He wanted to. You listened politely, aware this was the first time either of you’d had a conversation very much deemed as serious.
“I’m going to stay here with him because well,” he hesitated, glancing at you briefly. He seemed a little embarrassed but decided to continue. “He let me move in with him after my ex and I split up. He was there for me so it’s only fair that I’m there for him.” He finished with a rushed smile, reaching to rub the back of his neck bashfully.
The action was pretty endearing.
“Is that why you transferred?” You asked, aware the conversation was straying but you couldn’t help it. The surprise of finding out he’d moved here after the breakdown of his relationship was distracting to say the least. You’d always pegged Seokjin as a guy who’d never been in a serious relationship – judgemental, yes, but they were the type of vibes he gave out. Maybe you just couldn’t imagine him settled down and in love. He was such a free spirit, never serious enough – although, right now he was...
Possibly, you didn’t know him at all…
Seokjin nodded. “Yeah, I wanted a fresh start. Yoongi said this city was nice, so.”
There was a beat of silence and afraid it would become awkward you rushed to say something of worth. “Break ups are tough.”
God, that sounded a lot cheesier than you intended.
“They are,” he agreed. “Although... I don’t know how yours went – mine was okay, sad but mutual. We just didn’t love each other anymore. Yoongi’s on the other had… He got cheated on.”
“That sucks.” You empathised, before shrugging softly. “Mine was okay too. As break ups go.”
Were you bonding? Bonding with Seokjin? Ludicrous. However, what was even more unbelievable was how normal and comfortable it felt…
“How are you spending Christmas this year?” He asked, continuing to make conversation.
“Well, I usually visit my parents too but they’re going to be abroad this year so I’ll just spend it with my friend Ana’s family.” It was all planned, they lived super close by so at least this year would be easy.
He sniggered, eyes twinkling as opened his mouth to tease you. “Ditched by your own parents, embarrassing.”
“Hey,” you exclaimed, whacking his arm just before you burst into laughter.
He laughed along for a moment before growing semi-serious again. But just for a moment. “It’s actually going to be my first Christmas away from my family. It feels kind of weird but I can’t bring Yoongi along, he’ll bum out the atmosphere.”
You scoffed, voice filled with sarcasm. “You’re such a great friend, Seokjin.”
He chuckled, opening his mouth to reply, but just as he did you both heard the door in the entry way opening, footsteps sounding. You guessed Yoongi was back home. Not long after, a black haired man came into view and Seokjin moved, cool air filling the gap. You realised just how close you’d been sat together. When had that happened?
“Hey Yoongi,” Seokjin smiled. Yoongi raised a hand. “This is Y/N, my co-worker. You’ve heard me talk about her before, right?”
Huh? Whining about you, no doubt…
“Oh... yeah.” Yoongi’s eyes travelled to yours, a small smile upturning one corner of his mouth. “Hey, how’s it going?”
“Hey,” you returned his smile. “Nice to meet you.”
“How was work?” Seokjin asked. He sounded… concerned? That was sweet.
Yoongi shrugged. “Fine. Had an appointment with a client.” Silence. He was a man of very few words. You liked it. “I’m going to my room, have fun planning that Christmas party.”
Of course. That’s why Yoongi knew about you, Seokjin had told him about the party planning…
You waved him bye, and then, once you’d heard him make his way upstairs, Seokjin turned to you. “See? Bums out the atmosphere.”
“What atmosphere?” You joked. “No, but he seemed okay, considering…” Yes, his shoulders were a little slumped, as if he was carrying the whole world on them, but who knows, that could’ve been a thing before the breakup… He had sort of smiled at you…
“Yeah…” Seokjin agreed, before pausing and raising an eyebrow. “Maybe he liked what he saw. You could always do me a solid and try to cheer him up for me.”
You puzzled, unsure what he was getting at.
“You know, like Namjoon did for you…”
“SEOKJIN,” you yelled, jaw dropping in shock. “What the hell is wrong with you?” It wasn’t funny.
He squeaked a laugh. “I’m just messing around, don’t worry. I don’t want you to sleep with Yoongi. That would just be weird. Besides,” he added as an afterthought, smirking mischievously. “You’re too boring.”
He was trying to tease you again, wanting you to bite. Well, it wasn’t going to happen.
“I wouldn’t touch any of your friends,” you shot instead. “They’re tainted by default.”
Seokjin chuckled softly, shaking his head from side to side as he began to study the menu again.
“You ladies have a couple of admirers,” the waiter grinned as he placed two white wine spritzers on your table.
Ana squealed, taking one of the glasses immediately. “Where?”
You’d only been out barely an hour, already in your second bar, but even you had to admit the thought of someone buying you a drink was a little exciting. You followed the waiter’s hand to a booth across the floor, anticipation pumping through your veins only to be thoroughly disappointed when you recognised one of the faces – well, both faces actually, but you’d only been acquainted with the second yesterday…
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” you groaned.
“What?” Ana asked mildly confused, waving off the waiter with a thanks. “What’s wrong? They are so hot!”
“That’s dick cheese and his friend!”
“Wha–The guy you work with?” Your best friend sounded flabbergasted. “Which one is dick cheese? Although I wouldn’t kick either out of bed…”
“Ana!” You hissed, taking another glance at the booth. Seokjin waved at you wildly, an obnoxious grin on his face. You grumbled. “He’s the one on the left.”
“Oh, fuck.” She waved back, much to your annoyance. “No wonder he gets you so angry.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” You were confused. Enough to not realise when she stood up, making a beeline for their booth. “Wait–Ana! Where are you going?!”
She didn’t bother to look back as she replied. “I’m going to say thanks, duh.”
.
.
And that’s how you found yourself well on the way to Drunksville. You were only supposed to get tipsy tonight, knowing you’d pay for anything more in the morning, but well, you’d moved onto a club down the road and the drinks kept coming, and as much as you hated to admit it, hanging out with Seokjin and Yoongi was actually pretty enjoyable. Although, no matter how much fun you were having, it wasn’t enough to stay on the dancefloor for too long.
“Hey,” you greeted Yoongi, slipping inside and around the booth to slump down next to him. Dancing couldn’t have been his cup of tea either because he’d given up way before you had. Seokjin and Ana were still going strong out there.
You downed what was left of your drink, willing yourself to cool down as you huffed and puffed. God, you were drunk.
“Are you okay?” He chuckled.
You smiled. You liked Yoongi. He was nice, quiet – you liked quiet. “So, tell me,” you wondered, eager to understand something. “How’s a guy like you friends with Seokjin?”
Yoongi’s forehead creased. “What do you mean?”
Shrugging, you bit back a hiccup. “You seem normal, he’s…” What was Seokjin again? You could usually come up with a million and one (not so nice) words to describe him but the room was slightly spinning and your brain came up blank.
Yoongi understood you anyway, laughing as he replied. “He can just seem that way at first, it’s the nerves. They make him act up.”
You narrowed your eyes. “Nerves?” What did that mean? You could never imagine a nervous Seokjin. He was always so sure of himself.
Yoongi didn’t clarify. “Me and him are actually very similar. Annoying little shits when we want to be,” he laughed, before hesitating, “I’m…I’m a little injured right now, that’s why I seem a lot more subdued.”
“Oh,” you murmured, hoping you didn’t come off as condescending. “Yeah, Seokjin told me about your breakup. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.”
“You seem a lot happier tonight though,” you offered. Happier than yesterday evening.
“It’s called alcohol,” he grinned, bringing his glass up to his lips. He paused. “Y’know, he’s pretty cool once you get to know him.” It took you a second to realise he was talking about Seokjin. “He’s a great person.”
You shrugged slightly. “He’s okay.” What did it matter what you thought anyway? Seokjin definitely didn’t care.
“He likes to joke around, I admit, but it seems to make you laugh, so.” Yoongi smirked slightly and tilted his head, taking a took a sip of his beer.
Taken aback, you tried to think. Had you been laughing with Seokjin all night? Maybe laughing at him was a better way to describe it…
“What are you guys talking about?”
You jumped when you heard a familiar loud voice and looked up to see Seokjin leaning over the table, four shots balanced between the fingers of both hands – two in each. His face was flushed, redder than you’d ever seen it – he’d obviously had enough of dancing too.
“Nothing,” Yoongi replied smoothly. He stood up, finishing his drink. “I’m uh, I’m going outside for some fresh air.”
“But I got us shots,” Seokjin complained.
Yoongi looked over at you and smiled before tapping Seokjin on the shoulder. “I’m sure you and Y/N will make good use of them.”
Hm… Everyone was drunk and acting weird. Not that you had time to contemplate it because immediately Yoongi had gone and Seokjin was taking his seat next to you. His cologne hit you. It was different to usual, you’d realised instantly earlier in the night.
“Where’s Ana?” You asked. They’d both been dancing together when you’d left them.
He shrugged as he handed you a shot. “I don’t know, lost her on the dancefloor.”
You hesitated. Should you have more to drink? The shots might push you over the edge. But… you were having fun. It was one night out, you might as well do it properly. So quickly you downed the shot, smirking Seokjin’s way as you picked up another. “I’ll have hers then.”
He grinned slowly before scoffing as you choked. That shit burned, and you might have been able to handle the first shot no problem but this time your eyes watered and your throat screamed.
“Seems like you’re trying to prove a point,” he laughed.
“What do you mean?” You demanded, already feeling more lightheaded.
He didn’t care to explain, instead doing his two shots straight after the other, able to handle them with just a wince. “What do you think of Yoongi?” He asked, barely giving the liquid time to slip down his throat.
“Huh?”
“Do you like him?”
You shrugged, confused as to why he was asking you. “He seems nice, yeah.”
“So, you like him?”
You froze. “Are you still trying to hook us up? I don’t like him like that.” You didn’t even know him.
“No, no,” Seokjin rushed. “I wasn’t trying to… never mind.” He shook his head, changing the subject. “So who did you get for Secret Santa?”
“I’m not telling you,” you huffed, pushing his shoulder.
“That means it’s me.”
“Seokjiiin,” you whined, leaning into him as you nudged him once more.
He laughed, looking a little surprised by your sudden affection – however unintentional. “I think you’re drunk.”
…Maybe those shots were a bad idea, you’d only get worse…
.
.
“Should we go and look for Yoongi and Ana?” Seokjin asked, checking his watch.
You’d been sat together for a while now, conversation coming surprisingly easy. It was nonsense mostly – you might or might not have helped Seokjin with some festive ideas to prank Jungkook with – but Ana hadn’t come back from the dancing yet, and Yoongi was still outside – unless he’d done a runner, which was highly probable according to Seokjin. So it was probably best you both went to look for your friends.
You followed closely behind Seokjin as you searched through the club and at one point he reached for your hand, helping you through a large group of people. His grip was warm and oddly gentle, but you didn’t have time to think about it too much as he’d already let go. He waited for you as you checked the restroom, but your best friend was nowhere to be found. It was probably the alcohol in your system but you started to get a little worried, especially when your text went ignored. Seokjin seemed to notice.
“Stay here, okay? I’m going to check outside. I don’t want you to freeze to death.” He told you, having to practically shout in your ear the music was so loud in this area.
You found yourself a little touched by his concern, no matter how small it was and listened, clutching your purse to your middle. You were in a black mini dress after all, your arms barely covered. You still had the perfect view of him though, able to watch him step out the building and look down the road. You noticed the concern on his features slowly turn into shock, his mouth dropping open, and you frowned. What the hell had he seen?
“Seokjin!” You called, which was pretty useless. He couldn’t hear a damn thing. You could barely hear yourself. You rushed forward. “Seokjin?” You pushed your way past some people who had clogged up the entry way and dashed down the stone steps. “What is it?”
The winter air hit you instantly. It was fucking freezing. Seokjin still looked in shock, glued to the spot and you grew frustrated, stopping right beside him. “What?” You demanded. “What’s going on?!”
You followed his line of vision, and immediately you were positive your expression matched his. A little down the road, up against the wall, Yoongi and Ana were wrapped around one another, attached at the mouth. You were speechless, the cold no longer a problem.
“Let’s not interrupt them,” Seokjin said suddenly, taking you by the hand once again to drag you back inside. (Your feet honestly wouldn’t work.)
The instant heat got your blood pumping again, although the music did nothing for your whirring head. “What did we just witness?” You turned to him and asked (shouted).
Seokjin still looked just as shocked, but he managed a joke, wrinkling his nose up. “Ew, what if our friends start dating? I’ll be stuck with you forever.”
“Grow up,” you rolled your eyes, before randomly taking in the sight of him. How wasn’t he melting to death? The guy was in a fuzzy Christmas sweater. Actually, an even more important question; how hadn’t he electrocuted himself? The reindeer on his chest lit up. If one drop of sweat got into that hidden battery pack he was done for, surely?
“I thought you’d be saving that jumper for Friday,” you commented (yelled), quite honestly in a daze. You were drunk, in absolute shock, toes frozen, and somehow you were stood with Seokjin making conversation about Christmas jumpers.
“Who says I don’t have a whole drawer full of the festive fuckers. I did say I loved Christmas, no?” He laughed.
You joined in. “I thought you were bullshitting.”
“Of course you did.” He said with a small smile, shaking his head a little.
“I can’t believe we caught them kissing.” You couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Seokjin wiggled his eyebrows playfully. “They’re probably doing more than that by now.”
“Shut up.” You whined. “Wait. Do you think he told her about the breakup?”
“What?” Seokjin asked you to repeat, leaning in slightly, unable to hear you properly above the music.
“Do you think she knows he’s on the rebound?”
Seokjin shrugged. “Maybe. Who cares.”
“I care!” You exclaimed causing him to wince because you’d accidentally shouted in his ear. “Ana’s my best friend!”
Seokjin rolled his eyes slightly. “I thought you of all people would know people can just fuck with no strings attached.”
“Will you ever drop that,” you deadpanned. Your hook up with Namjoon happened so long ago now, you barely even thought about it unless you saw him at work, which was pretty rare anyway.
“Nope.” The way the sound of the p popped off his lips annoyed you.
“What about you?” You asked, changing the subject from you. “No getting lucky tonight? Is Christmas sex not on par with birthday sex?”
He burst out laughing. “I’d say it is, yeah, but I still have a couple of weeks to make it happen, so ask me then.”
His answer almost annoyed you more and you couldn’t place why. He was just being stupid, classic old Seokjin. You should be used to it by now.
“Come on,” he winked, stepping forward, towards the middle of the club and his hand cupped your elbow. “Let’s dance!”
“No, no, no,” you immediately refused, grabbing his hand to stop him.
“Pleaseee,” he pleaded, eyes wide. “I want to dance with you. You’ve hardly been on the floor all night.”
Oh. Your heart did a little flip inside your chest. Maybe it was the tequila making its way back up your body…
“Come on,” he chuckled, not giving up. “It’ll warm you up.” On cue both of his hands lifted and he started rubbing your shoulders. “I told you not to come outside. Now we both have the mental image of Yoongi sucking face stuck behind our eyelids and you’ve got frost bite.”
You giggled, but still wouldn’t relent. He could stay here warming you up for the rest of the night if he wanted… Dancing made you sweaty.
He tilted his head, giving you a look. “Y/N, do you want me to call you boring again?”
And just like that you wanted to prove him wrong… You were a sucker. He knew what he was doing.
Only, the second round of shots for some Dutch courage were probably a bad idea. Your idea, but a very bad one, nevertheless. The dancefloor seemed to be stickier than it was an hour ago – and busier. It was packed and loud, which worked to distract you from how drunk you were.
Seokjin could move. You hadn’t realised earlier, not really paying attention as you’d danced with Ana instead, but with just the two of you left you let him embarrass the hell out of you on the floor. At first it was definitely on purpose; he pulled the largest, wackiest moves that you begged him to stop, but soon enough he had you dying of laughter, so he continued, your amusement spurring him on. And then drunk you had to join in…
“You know what? You’re actually pretty fun once you loosen up,” Seokjin yelled above the music, his hands somehow having found their way to your hips as you both snaked them to the beat.
“I’m always fun,” you informed him, your breath fanning across his face as you lifted your arms in the air. “You just only know work me.”
He smiled. “Well, I don’t know, I think I’m getting to know normal you lately…”
You snorted some type of noise. “That’s what you think!”
He went to open his mouth to argue but you spun around, your back pressed to him as you continued to sway. Your skin was hot to the touch, too many bodies cramped in this small space, but you loved the feeling of Seokjin’s hands on your hips, even more so when they slowly inched up your waist. You flung your arms back, looping them around his neck to pull him closer. It had been a long time since you’d danced with a guy like this. Not even Namjoon. Not even your ex.
You could feel how boiling he was too, a thin layer of sweat coating the back of his neck, and as you ran your fingers through his slightly wavy hair he let out a little groan. It was extremely quiet, would’ve gone unnoticed if his mouth wasn’t hovering by your ear, but now you’d heard it and it changed everything. Something exploded inside your chest, fresh heat prickling your skin and you found yourself pushing into him further, grinding in a small circle.
The dancefloor was full of couples like this so no one took any notice. But Seokjin did. He froze, as if he was sure he’d imagined it, so ever so carefully you did it again. This time he knew his drunk mind wasn’t playing tricks on him and after a slight hesitation his hands slid to your hips again, gripping them tighter. He let you grind against him, but didn’t reciprocate, he just kept dancing to the music, which seemed to turn you even braver.
With the bass of the music pumping through your body you moved back and forth against his crotch, hearing his breath get shallower and shallower. It was addictive and you were chasing the feeling before you knew it, bold and finding yourself getting more turned on by the second. It wasn’t long before you began to feel him grow hard against your ass, and even though surprised, you still carried on, loving it.
“Y/N,” he murmured against your ear, sounding out of breath. You circled your hips again. This time he couldn’t help but push back. “It’s getting late.” His voice faltered. “You’re drunk. I’m drunk.”
You frowned to yourself. What was he trying to say? You felt his hands leave your hips, reaching for your arms around his neck to slide them away. He was trying to get you to face him. He was still half hard in his pants but he ignored it.
“You’re drunk,” he repeated, as if it was some sort of answer, some sort of reason. He started to twist you his way but you tripped, falling into him. “Definitely drunk,” he chuckled, tugging his hands off your waist from where he’d caught you. “It’s time to go home.”
“I don’t want to go home,” you pouted, wrapping your arms around his neck. You went to push your body into him but he angled away from you, creating distance.
“You need to go home,” he laughed. It sounded awkward. “Think of that hangover tomorrow.”
“I will,” you shrugged, “tomorrow.”
Seokjin stared at you, his brown eyes wavering slightly. They were darker than usual, swimming with something that made your belly flip, but he steeled himself, holding strong. “Come on,” he pressed. “We can share an Uber.”
“It’s fine.” You muttered, disappointed for some reason. You were unsure how he could hear you above the music, but he did. “I’ll find Ana.”
He chuckled. “Ana’s definitely gone by now. Don’t you remember what we caught her doing?”
Oh.
He was right.
Damn your best friend.
.
.
You didn’t remember much of the Uber ride home, the sudden departure from the club had brought deafening silence and you were now very aware of how much your head was spinning. Your bed was calling you – your warm, cosy, king sized bed… However, you took one look at Seokjin as he helped you out of the car and all that became forgotten.
You clung to his jumper, voice still loud despite there being no music now. “Do you want to come in?”
“Uh, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” He replied carefully, chuckling. “Sober you definitely doesn’t want me in your apartment.”
You reached forward, brushing a strand of hair out of his eyes and giving him what you hoped was your best smile. “Drunk me does.”
He held your stare for a moment, searching long enough to see something that made him make up his mind. “Fine,” he sighed lightly, bending down into the car to talk to the driver. You were barely listening, looking up at the stars, but Seokjin held your hand tightly, keeping your heels rooted to the ground.
“Keep this thing running, I’ll be back in five.”
“That’s gonna cost you, my friend.”
“It’s fine.” Another sigh. “Just– stay? I won’t be long.”
It took you a couple of minutes to get through your door, Seokjin had to open it in the end, and he followed you in, a respectable distance behind you. He closed the door quietly, smiling when you turned back to look at him as you kicked off your shoes.
“Okay, you’re home safe now. I’m just going to go, see you Monday, okay?”
“No, don’t go,” you bemoaned, closing the distance to cling to him once again. In your drunken state you couldn’t place why you wanted him to stay so bad. All you knew was that you did.
He sighed again, lifting his hands to clasp over your wrists in an attempt to move you away. He looked and sounded torn. “Y/N, the Uber’s running. I’m going to end up paying double to get home.”
You shrugged. “Tell him to leave then.”
He closed his eyes and exhaled, it sounded like a whimper. “What are you doing to me?” He murmured, but you were barely paying attention, swaying where you stood. He noticed and groaned. “You’re so drunk!”
“Am not.”
He laughed, genuinely amused, and if your drunk mind didn’t know any better it sounded as if he was endeared by you. He shook your shoulders lightly. “Look at me.” You couldn’t quite focus. He cupped your face instead, laughing louder as he angled you to stare straight into his eyes. “Look at me. You are so out of it.”
You just grumbled, but warmth fluttered through your body. It felt good to be touched by him. You thought back to the dancefloor, the way you’d been pressed up against his body. Your mouth parted, suddenly thirsty. Really thirsty. But for what?
“Can you even make out my face?” Seokjin asked, continuing to be amused.
“Of course,” you snapped, fingers reaching for him. “There’s your hair,” �� You ran your fingers through the dark brown locks – “your eyes... nose…” He let you poke his eyelids gently and then you bopped his nose.
“Get offf.” He snorted softly.
And then your attention fell to his mouth. Those plump, deep pink lips that were opened and slightly wet from where he’d been swiping his tongue across them. You swallowed, hands cupping his jaw. “Your lips –”
You dove before you knew what you were really doing, pressing your mouth to his, taking him by surprise. Not a second later he was pulling back, holding you at arm’s length. “Woah, woah.” He chuckled in surprise, but his voice wavered. “Not the time, Y/N. Trust me.”
You frowned, annoyance spiking and you shook him off. “What? So you’ve suddenly turned chivalrous now?” Scoffing, you felt like an idiot – upset and embarrassed, you spoke without thinking. “Or do you just not want me?”
Something flashed across Seokjin’s face. He looked irritated. Sounded it too when he replied. “Of course I fucking want you.” You froze. Huh? However, you didn’t have time to think about what he’d said before he was striding towards you, backing you up against the wall. You gripped the tops of his arms on instinct, looking up at him as he loomed over you, hair falling into his dark eyes. They were the same colour as they had been back at the club – when you’d been grinding all over him. Your breath caught.
“Ever wondered why you frustrate me so much?” He rasped.
Something inside you screamed. Not that you had time to realise because immediately his mouth was on yours. Each press of his lips was rushed, as if he was acting on instinct and all you could do was cling to him and try to keep up. You let out a moan when you felt his tongue attempt to push past the seam of your lips and you let him in, moaning louder when the wet muscles clashed together, the dam now broken.
It was contagious. Seokjin grunted against you, throatier than you were expecting, noises so unlike him your whole body burned in desire. Actually, it was on fire. It started to crave him, the feeling so strong all you could do was let it take you. You yelped when his hands curled around your ass, giving you one strong push and you promptly jumped into his arms. He caught you effortlessly and you wrapped your legs around him.
By God, he was strong. He crashed you into the wall, mouth still hungry as he ground his crotch into yours. The skirt of your dress had ridden up to your waist, your underwear the only thing protecting you as he rubbed you against his dick. Which was hard again – very hard. Maybe he’d had a semi the whole car ride home, which was a thought that got you moaning louder inside his mouth, your tongues getting messy, your teeth clashing.
“Seok-jin,” you whimpered. Your core tingled, hot to the touch and you could feel your arousal beginning to pool against the lace of your thong. You wanted him – no, you needed him. “Pleaseee. Please.”
He grunted, your begging fucking with his head and you felt his arms give way. He stumbled forward, no other option but to ease you down to the floor, but his mouth didn’t relent; he kissed you just as needy as before, sliding down your chin to make his way to your throat.
You gasped at the new sensation, his tongue licking strips up your skin, his teeth nipping. Your legs shook under you, nothing to do with the alcohol you’d consumed, it was all him. He was driving you wild, and you needed him to fuck you. You knew that much.
Your hand reached between your bodies, loving the sound of Seokjin heavy breathing against your ear as he now sucked on your lobe, and you wrapped your palm around his clothed cock. He was solid. Rock hard.. It had to be painful, surely? You got to work, rubbing him back and forth in an attempt to relieve some of his discomfort.
“Fuck,” he muttered, and you jutted your hips into him too, mistaking the cursing for his enjoyment. “Y/N, wait,” he said, pulling back and stopping the movements of your hand, his long fingers circling your wrist. You tried reaching for his mouth again, still oblivious to his sudden change in demeaner.
“Not like this,” he murmured, trying his best not to kiss you back, no matter how hard you pecked his mouth.
“Why?” You asked, giving up. Your lips were wet and swollen. They prickled. God, you were so turned on your voice shook. His too.
“Do you even know what you’re doing right now?” He sounded uncertain, looking you in the eyes as he chuckled bitterly. “You hate my guts. You don’t want my dick.”
You frowned. What was he talking about? You’d been practically dry humping him. Of course you wanted his dick. “I do,” you insisted, leaning into him to tug at his belt. He didn’t give in. “Seokjin, just give me your dick.”
He stared down at you, his hand still clutching your wrist, breathing still ragged, his eyes still black… but despite how much he obviously wanted this, he composed himself, his expression softening. You felt him reach behind you and gently pull your dress down over your ass.
“We’ll talk about it tomorrow, okay?” He hummed softly, voice still visibly affected by you. “When you’re sober. When we’re both sober…”
.
.
You awoke suddenly, peaceful and serene for all of two seconds before you groaned, burrowing your face into your pillow. It felt as if someone was stomping on top of your head. What the hell happened last night? Wait… How had you even gotten home? Why couldn’t you remember anything?!
You blindly reached for your nightstand, praying your cell phone was there, fingers stretched as far as they would allow until you felt the familiar belonging. You grabbed it and burrowed further under the covers. You needed to call Ana. She’d fill you in – make you remember.
Wait –
At the thought of your best friend you suddenly remembered a few things. Seokjin and Yoongi had been at the club too. They’d bought you drinks, you’d sat at their table, drunk more. Tequila must have been involved for you to be this clueless. Enough of it and you could forget your own name come morning. You’d always been the same since college. Squinting at the brightness of the screen, your head throbbing even harder if that was possible, you started to call Ana. It rang and rang… Frustrated you gave up. She could sleep through the end of the world so why were you surprised. You hoped she woke up with the world’s largest and longest hangover, serves her right for not – Oh. OH.
You shot up, in immediate regret when the entirety of your head spasmed. Groaning you tried to fight through the pain, wishing you had some calm so you could actually piece together your memories. Ana and Yoongi. Outside. All over one another. Making out against the wall.
What. The. Fuck.
No wonder why she wasn’t picking up.
The memories were hazy, but it was something. You continued to wrack your brain… You and Seokjin had found them, but they hadn’t been aware and then you’d gone back inside. He asked you to dance and that’s when you’d suggested more shot… Shots. Tequila shots. You were an idiot. Try as you might you couldn’t remember anything after that. It was all one big blur. How had you gotten from the club to your apartment?
You moved to sit on the side of your bed, soles of your feet pressing into the carpet. Your stomach churned a little. No, you couldn’t be sick. You hated being sick. Rubbing your stomach in an attempt to soothe it you looked down and realised you were still wearing your dress. Gross. You’d gotten into bed with your clothes on? You groaned weakly. You better have washed your hands before knocking out… although, you highly doubted it.
Looking at your phone again, you knew there was only one thing you could do. If you wanted answers you needed to ask the right person…
(10:34am) You: How the hell did I get home last night?
No more than a minute later three dots appeared on the screen, signalling Seokjin’s reply. But he was taking his time with it. Jesus. They kept disappearing for a few moments just to pop up again. Why was it such a hard question?!
(10:37am) Seokjin: You can’t remember?
Really? Three minutes to type three words?
(10:37am) You: Obviously not I wouldn’t be asking you otherwise
(10:38am) You: We saw Ana and Yoongi kissing... We had shots... We danced
You talked him through what you did recall, and once again, he played that irritating game with those three dots. You knew he wasn’t typing up an essay.
(10:41am) Seokjin: And then I took you home
You raised both your eyebrows. He took you home? Why did that surprise you so much?
(10:41am) You: Thanks
(10:42am) Seokjin: How’s your head?
(10:43am) You: Hurts
(10:43am) You: Everything hurts
(10:43am) Seokjin: 🤣
Rolling your eyes, you threw your phone on the bed and managed to stand up. You were done talking to him of he was just going to laugh at your misery. Besides, he’d told you all you needed to know. The mystery was solved. Next, you needed to shower.
Immediately.
You were still feeling extremely fragile the next morning but managed to get into the office at 9am sharp with the help of coffee. You’d spent the night on the phone to Ana, getting all the nitty gritty details about her hook up with Yoongi. Apparently, they’d bumped into each other outside after she’d slipped out for some fresh air and had gotten talking. He’d told her about his recent breakup, and having been cheated on before, naturally Ana and he had bonded, and said bonding had led to kissing. Lots of it. Which had then led to lots of sex back at her apartment. (Yes, he did know how to use his dick if anyone was curious, and yes, it was very pretty.)
You’d expected to hear about it from Seokjin this morning but he was actually uncharacteristically quiet. Although, it might have been because he was partially blindsided when he got into the office. First, he was late, which had never happened before. No matter what you thought of Seokjin, he was always punctual and professional (when it was called for). And second, there was a surprise waiting for him.
Jungkook had draped his entire desk and chair in strings of fairy lights. Everything was lit up. It was a lot, but even you had to admit it was funny, and you hated their pranking war with a burning passion. Mainly because you were always caught in the middle. Seokjin however, seemed a little out of it. You mean, he still laughed, tried to wrestle Jungkook in the middle of Hoseok’s good morning greeting, but something about him seemed off. You couldn’t put a finger on it, it was almost like he was forcing it.
He hardly looked at you when you asked him what he had planned for payback. Shrugging his shoulders as he rolled his chair out and slumped in it – lights still twinkling. “Who knows.”
“I thought you had a bunch of ideas up your sleeve?” You’d spent a good half an hour discussing them Saturday night.
That got his attention. He raised an eyebrow as he stared at you. “You remember that? I thought everything was a blur?”
“Yeah, anything after we caught our best friends getting freaky on the streets.” You chuckled, feeling a little uneasy by the way he was still looking at you, as if he was suspicious of something.
After a moment he gave up…Possibly? Upturning his shoulder he gave you a small smile. “Lightweight.” He didn’t meet your eyes though and leaned over to start pulling at a string of lights that laid between your desks.
You reached over on instinct, placing your hand over his to stop him. He recoiled a little and you pulled back. What was that reaction for? “Keep them up,” you told him, choosing to ignore whatever had just happened. “It’s Christmas after all.”
You dropped your hand under the desk, it tingled a little. Seokjin’s hand had felt warm, familiar? The inklings of something floated around the sides of your brain but you couldn’t place your finger on it.
“Just don’t blow us up,” you joked.
Wait. Seokjin’s stupid Christmas jumper from Saturday night. You remembered now. It had lit up and you’d wondered how he hadn’t set himself on fire yet. That was it. What was trying to seep into your brain just now. Hopefully things were coming back to you slowly… You’d remember everything in no time, you were sure of it.
Meanwhile Seokjin nodded slowly, retreating his hand as he smiled at you slightly.
Was he feeling okay? You thought about asking him. Maybe his mom was still taking it bad that he wouldn’t make Christmas this year? You opened your mouth, full intentions to check in on him, but stopped yourself. It wasn’t really your place. You didn’t know his personal life all too well. You mean, yeah, he’d told you some things lately, but you didn’t want to overstep the mark. He was probably just having a bad day. Everyone had them.
However, you had to admit there was something quite unnerving about seeing him so downcast. It didn’t suit him.
What on earth could have happened?
.
.
The last week of work flew by. It was always the same, the office in a rush to finish up all loose ends before the two week holiday. You and Seokjin had one last meeting on Wednesday morning, just to check in and make sure everything was ready for Friday. The buffet was getting delivered the morning of and that’s when Seokjin was going to decorate the conference room. You’d been in charge of the Christmas playlist but he didn’t seem to have much interest when you’d shown him your choices. In fact, he was still acting a little strange.
He was quiet, not his usual self, as in, he wasn’t constantly finding ways to annoy you. In fact, you barely spoke unless you had to, which before this Christmas party would’ve been great – the norm actually. However now, things were different. Had you done something to upset him? You couldn’t think what. Maybe you’d offended him when you were drunk and couldn’t remember? You thought about asking him but couldn’t find the nerve. Besides, Seokjin didn’t seem the type to get offended by trivial things. You and he tended to be at one another’s throats most (all) of the time, but it was all done in jest. You didn’t despise him, he just got on your nerves – like you got on his. You couldn’t imagine yourself saying anything terrible to him, especially because from what you could remember of that night, you’d both had fun… Hanging out with Seokjin wasn’t too bad, drunk or sober.
So, things continued to remain a mystery, until that was, the next day…
.
.
“Here, I got you something.”
You looked away from your computer at the sound of Seokjin’s voice, finding him stood above you, his winter coat nearly buttoned all the way up. It was just after lunch on Thursday but Seokjin and Hoseok had to head off for an emergency meeting with a client who wanted to discuss something before Christmas.
Your forehead furrowed when you saw he was holding out a small glittery gift bag and when you took too long to take it he shook it. You reacted, taking it from him but still questioning him with your eyes. “Seokjin, Secret Santa is tomorrow.”
“No, it’s not for that,” he informed you, his voice oddly quiet. Now you were even more confused. Why had he gotten you a gift? You felt oddly embarrassed as you played with the ribbon handles nervously.
“I got Beryl,” he grumbled, easily making you ease up and chuckle. You couldn’t even begin to imagine what he’d purchased a sixty year old grandma… A bar of soap probably.
As if you couldn’t stop it, your fingers were opening up the gift. Seokjin noticed and started babbling immediately. “I saw it when I was out shopping for decorations and it made me think of you… I hope you like it. Sorry if you don’t.”
You awed as you pulled out a small Christmas bauble, green and gold in colour with the painting of a black cat in the centre, complete with a Christmas hat between its ears. It was beautiful and quirky – and totally unexpected. You’d gotten him a damn pair of lame ass cufflinks.
“You can hang it on your tree at home or something,” you heard him suggest.
You looked up at him, still a little speechless but you managed to get something out. “Thank you, Seokjin. I love it.”
His face lit up at that. The first time you’d seen him genuinely smile all week. “You do?”
You nodded, finding yourself unable to otherwise reply. Your heart felt a little funny. It was good to see him a cheerful, you’d missed it. He always looked good when he smiled…
He was looking at you, and you didn’t know whether you’d been staring first, but he was watching you carefully now, gaze slightly intense, as if he was trying to work something out, to find something. You dropped your chin, feeling embarrassed, cheeks hot. Why did you feel so strange? You were making it obvious.
“You really don’t remember Saturday night?” He spoke suddenly, tone soft, careful.
You froze. Straitening to look at him again you shook your head. “Nope.” You forced out a laugh. “It’s still a total blank. Can you believe it? Tequila is my mortal enemy.”
One side of Seokjin’s mouth raised into a half smile, but he didn’t look too amused. You felt something trickle down your spine – a bad feeling. “Seokjin?” You questioned, finding courage. “Why? What happened?” You needed to know.
“Hm?” He hummed, lost in thought. His face was serious once again.
“What happened Saturday night?”
He shook his head, squeezing out a small chuckle. It had fake written all over it. “Nothing.”
“Something must’ve happened,” you insisted, growing a little frustrated. Whatever it was had something to do with his odd behaviour.
He shrugged, hands in his pockets. His cheeks were growing flushed but that just annoyed you. “It’s nothing. You were just wasted.”
“Tell me now!” You hissed, careful to keep your voice down. The office was pretty empty at the moment, some still in the staffroom, others busy around the building, but you still didn’t want anyone overhearing something personal.
“No.” He refused. He looked stressed out.
“Seokjin!” He was stressing you out now. What the hell had you done that night?!
“I don’t want to.”
“Why?” You practically wailed.
“It’s embarrassing.”
“What happened?” You were losing it now, thinking the worst. “What did I do?”
He sighed loudly, finally giving in. “You kissed me.”
Silence.
The colour drained from your face at his revelation, dread instantly filling you. What? You hadn’t been expecting that. Whatever your mind had thought up, it definitely wasn’t that.
“We kissed, okay?” He continued. “I took you home, you practically begged me to come inside and we kissed.”
“Oh, my god,” you replied weakly, head now in your hands. You took a deep breath, trying to wrack your brains for any memories. How could you have forgotten such a major thing?! You invited Seokjin into your apartment? You kissed him? No wonder he’d been acting so strange this past week. You’d put him in such an awkward position. He was embarrassed and now so were you…
“I’m sorry,” Seokjin apologised, down to a whisper. “I should’ve told you but I just didn’t know how. I wasn’t expecting you to forget everything and I didn’t know how to –” He stopped himself with a groan, going around in circles.
Meanwhile, things were coming back to you. Not memories as such, more like hazy images and the faintest of sensations. His words had dislodged something. Dancing together, his hands on your body, his breath on your neck. The uber ride home. Stood in your entry way. Your hands on his arms. The feeling of his body pressed into yours. Your mouths attached and hungry. You felt yourself burn, unclear recollections stirring something hidden inside of you.
“…Y/N?” Seokjin prompted. You managed to look at him but that was it. You mouth wouldn’t work, and what could you say anyway? How could you explain yourself when you couldn’t remember all the details?
“It’s fine.” He told you suddenly, thinking he was reassuring you. “Don’t worry about it, okay?”
“Seokjin, you ready?”
You both startled at the sound of Hoseok’s voice and looked up to see him stood in his office doorway, buttoning up his coat.
Seokjin nodded, a little dazed. “Uh, yeah, coming. Won’t be a minute.”
“Last minute party planning, huh?” Hoseok grinned. “I’ll meet you in the car.”
“Look, I gotta go,” Seokjin told you once Hoseok had strolled off. “You’ll probably be gone by the time I get back, so I’ll see you tomorrow.” He spoke in a rush, not giving you time to respond. Your mouth opened, but he cut in. “It’s fine, Y/N. Trust me.”
And then he was gone.
You looked down at the Christmas bauble on your desk, so mortified you felt like crying.
Crying might have been a tad dramatic, you admit. So you didn’t. You were a mixture of embarrassed and confused, unable to concentrate properly the rest of the afternoon. How had you kissed Seokjin and just forgotten about it? It was scary to think something like that could happen, a blind spot in your memory. His revelation had helped you remember some bits but there was nothing concrete. You spent your evening forcing yourself to recall more details, talking things over with Ana on the phone. You couldn’t not tell her. Not when you were in the middle of having a mini breakdown.
She was interested in a lot more than just remembering the kiss though…
“So if you remember him kissing you back what does that mean?” She demanded.
You groaned. “I don’t even know if I’m remembering it correctly.” But why would your mind play tricks on you? Although, false memories were a thing…
“Of course you are! Dick cheese likes you. It’s obvious! Classic high school bullshit.”
“Ana, please,” you sighed. Now wasn’t the time for her theories. “He was drunk too,” you reasoned. “Just because we kissed doesn’t mean he likes me. I don’t like him, do I?” Yet, you’d grinded all over him on the dancefloor. (The memories of that were now clearer, and they made your cheeks burn…)
“Hmm.” She didn’t sound too convinced.
“Ana, come on!” You cried. “It was a stupid mistake, and now I’ve just made things super awkward between us.”
No wonder Seokjin had been acting weird all week, and there you’d been completely oblivious! The thought was enough to make you groan out loud. How could you go to work tomorrow? Host a party with him when things were so awkward?!
“I mean… You two need to talk about it properly. Make sure there’s no crossed wires. If you’re both on the same page then there’s no need for things to be awkward between you.”
You rolled your eyes. She made it seem so easy. She wasn’t the one who’d made out with her co-worker. She never had to see her hook up ever again. While you had to look yours in the eye five days a week for the rest of your life quite possibly.
“You guys didn’t even hook up,” Ana screeched when you told her just that. “A slight fumble in your hallway isn’t exactly something you need to relocate for. Just talk to him.”
Simple, right?
But nothing ever was...
“Let’s just forget about it,” Seokjin smiled your way as you both helped carry in the buffet food the next morning. He was holding the building’s door open for you with his back, letting you slip in first as you cradled the cardboard box filled with things you couldn’t even remember ordering. Too preoccupied with trying to bring up yesterday.
You paused, not expecting him to shrug it off like that. In fact, it got you pretty speechless. Were you hurt? As much as Ana’s idea had made you want the earth to open up and swallow you, it made sense to talk things out with him.
This morning you’d remembered even more while you’d brushed your teeth… Seokjin helping you slip the skirt of your dress down, finding your kitchen to get you some water… You were slowly piecing things together and it was confusing the hell out of you… You wished more than anything you could remember the whole thing. To know what was going on inside your head at the time, because right now you were a mess.
But hearing Seokjin sound so flippant, so unfazed made you a little deflated… What if you didn’t want to forget about it?
“I mean, you did already, so,” he gave a shrug and you followed him into the elevator in a daze.
“Oh, yeah, okay,” you forced yourself to say, hitting the third floor button. You turned to look at him and plastered a smile onto your face. It hurt. “Good idea.”
.
.
“Where is he?” Jungkook whined like a big kid. (The Christmas jumper he was wearing with a giant teddy bear in the centre didn’t help things…) “He knows I’m starving. Been saving myself all day for this.”
You raised a judgemental eyebrow. “You didn’t even have breakfast?”
He looked at you, shooting you a quick wink. “I’m treating this buffet like it deserves to be treated. Like it’s my one and only.” At his side, Mina giggled.
“Let’s just open up,” Hoseok suggested, reaching for the handle of the conference door.
“No!” You exclaimed, standing in front of it.
You were all waiting around like a bunch of lemons, Seokjin having done a disappearing act just before the party was due to start. Jungkook had already tried to call him three times but his phone was engaged. Everyone was getting impatient, but he needed to be here to see everyone’s reactions to his decorating. He’d been in there all morning, blinds closed, not even you knew what it looked like in there.
“Y/N, come on,” Jungkook cried dramatically. “He won’t mind, let’s just get in there!”
“Fine,” you gave in, turning around to open up. You didn’t really have a choice, everyone was gearing up to trample you…
One look inside had you a little speechless. It was beautiful, the room decorated like Santa’s Grotto. Seokjin had done an amazing job, and you felt bad for ever doubting his skill. For ever doubting his sincerity when it came to planning this entire party…
“Oh, whoa,” Jungkook gasped behind you, sounding wholly surprised. “Jin did so well on the decorations.” You turned back to agree but saw him smirking. “You must be pissed.”
“Shut up,” you scoffed and immediately swatted his hand away from a tray of sandwiches. “No! You have to wait!”
Jungkook made a noise of agony, practically flaking out in one of the chairs. “I’m this close to passing out!”
You sighed at his dramatics. “I’ll go and look for him.” He can’t have gone far, surely? You pointed at everyone as you stepped out, expression stern. “No starting this party until I find him – and no eating food.”
Jungkook whimpered.
As you walked out of the office and down one flight of stairs you started to grow worried. What if something was wrong? Maybe there’d been an emergency and he’d had to leave…? Only, those thoughts didn’t have a chance to go too far as you spotted him almost immediately a little down the hallway. The second floor was unoccupied, most of the rooms either used for storage or ominously locked. He was stood with a shoulder against the wall, his back to you. The Santa’s hat he’d been wearing earlier was shoved into his back pocket. You’d caught him just in time, he was finishing up a phone call before staring at the screen, deep in thought it seemed.
You suddenly felt nervous… You hadn’t been alone together at all since this morning and you’d been slightly miserable ever since then. Ever since he’d shut down the conversation you so badly wanted. You caught him staring your way a few times, when he was coming in and out of the conference room mid decorating – or maybe he was catching you staring. Who knew anymore. Your head was a mess, confused and unexplainably disappointed.
But you needed to suck it up. There was a Christmas party to pull off, and it needed both its hosts…
“Seokjin?” You called, walking closer.
He turned around with a start, shoving his phone into his jeans pocket. “Oh, hey.”
You took a moment to admire his Christmas jumper – a dabbing Santa Claus, which was pretty 2016 now, but whatever. You were wearing one similar to the bauble he’d gifted you yesterday, a cat wearing a Christmas hat, but you’d paired it with a Mrs. Claus skirt you wore every year without fail. Oh. You suddenly remembered something. Seokjin telling you he had a whole drawer full of Christmas sweaters. The thought should’ve made you laugh but you were still so nervous. You heart felt a little funny as you stared up at him.
One thing was for certain, you didn’t think you could forget about the kiss.
Could you excuse yourself to run away and call Ana? But then there’d be zero hosts at the party and Jungkook would disintegrate from hunger… You needed to power on.
“Everyone’s wondering where you went,” you said, voice sounding strange as you spoke into the unsettling silence.
You really didn’t want things to be awkward. You would hate it so much. You understood you didn’t have the best of relationships, but it worked for you both. Now it could all be ruined, and you didn’t want that. You didn’t know what you wanted…
Seokjin hesitated before tapping his pocket. “Sorry, phone call. Some type of insurance sales shit.”
You nodded, unsure why you didn’t quite believe him, but chose to ignore it, giving him a short smile. “We should hurry up. Jungkook is salivating in there. He’s two seconds away from devouring the whole buffet.”
Seokjin chuckled lightly at that. “Expected. He’s been fasting since 7pm last night.”
Why didn’t that surprise you?
“He’s already forced his way inside. Sorry. I tried to hold them off for as long as possible.”
“That’s my own fault.” He shrugged, then gave you a gentle smile. “Thanks for trying.”
Your heart did a little flip. You tried to ignore it. “You did a great job on decorating by the way.”
“You sound surprised,” he teased. “How many times do I have to say I lo–
“You love Christmas, yes, okay, I believe you now.” You interrupted with a laugh. You remembered that from Saturday night, but you wanted to remember all of it.
You opened your mouth, you needed to tell him. You needed to tell him you didn’t want to forget. “Seokjin,” you began, unsure how to continue. You didn’t want to make a fool of yourself. However it seemed he had things to say himself…
“I lied.”
Huh?
His admission caught you off guard. He could probably tell by your face. He lifted a hand and rubbed the back of his neck, looking awkward. “I lied about the phone call. It was Yoongi. He was giving me a pep talk.”
“A pep talk?” You repeated, now aware you could hear your own heartbeat.
He took a step forward and let out a deep breath, gearing himself up. “I can’t stop thinking about last weekend, Y/N.” Your heart was thudding now. “I know I said we should forget about it but I can’t. You don’t remember it and I know you regret it and I’m sorry for,” he stopped to sigh in frustration. “I don’t know, I just feel really guilty. Because I really enjoyed kissing you.”
He was staring straight into your eyes, no more than a foot between you. He looked nervous and remorseful. You didn’t like it.
Firm, you held his gaze. “I don’t regret it.” That thought had never crossed your mind. Even through all the shock and mortification. Yes, your memories were extremely vague, but you didn’t regret the kiss. If anything you were curious. Even more curious now.
Seokjin paused, not expecting your reply, but he sounded hopeful. “You don’t?”
You shook your head. “I was embarrassed when you told me, yes, but that was because I thought I’d made a fool of myself – I mean, I still did, but if you enjoyed kissing me I guess it was worth it.”
Seokjin had enjoyed kissing you, and from your foggy memories, you’d enjoyed kissing him too. You smiled. It was contagious as he grinned your way too.
“You didn’t make a fool of yourself. At all.” He stressed. “Do you remember anything now?” He sounded concerned, still unsure how to go about this.
“Bits and pieces, yeah.” You admitted. “You got me a glass of water and then left…”
He looked guilty. “I lost myself a little, I admit, but I couldn’t let it happen. I couldn’t go through with it because you were so drunk and I was pretty sure you hated me and I could never take advantage of you like that.”
Your heart fluttered. Genuine Seokjin was dangerous for you. “I don’t hate you,” you told him pointedly, crossing your arms across your chest, the beginnings of a smirk itching to appear. “You annoy me to no end but that’s sort of your charm, I guess.”
He cocked an eyebrow, sensing the change in atmosphere as he asked smugly, “My charm?”
“Don’t ruin it,” you snipped, feeling brave as you stepped closer to him to tilt your head and run a hand down his chest – down the dabbing Santa… “So, you liked kissing me?”
He nodded enthusiastically, curiously watching your movements. “It felt good. And not just in my dick but like, everywhere.”
“Seokjin!” You exclaimed, rendered speechless.
“What?” He asked, eyes wide. He grabbed your hips pulling you closer and you couldn’t help but squeal, reaching for his shoulders. He felt good. Big and warm and familiar. “I’m trying to talk about my feelings here.”
He was teasing you, sure, but he was also telling the truth. You knew that. Feelings was a scary word, an uncertain word, but you thought you liked the way it made you feel. Maybe Ana was correct… Maybe a part of you did like Seokjin. It sure felt like it right now…
“Kiss me,” you whispered, gaze on his mouth before it flickered to his eyes. “I’m sober now and I want to see if I like it too.”
You already knew the answer. He did too by the smirk on his face, but he listened anyway, closing the distance between your mouths. His lips felt instantly familiar, making you feel at ease as they pressed into yours. Fluttering his eyes closed you followed suit and he moved gently, tentatively, as if he couldn’t believe it – as if he didn’t want to ruin anything. From the back of your mind vague memories started to wind their way forward, his kiss drawing them out.
You wrapped your arms around his neck, pressing your body into his ever so slightly with a soft sigh. The tip of his tongue found yours, hints of it joining each drag of his mouth and something lit up inside of you. So you were inevitably disappointed when he pulled back, giving your hips a soft squeeze.
“So?” He grinned.
You hummed out loud, running your fingers through the hair against the nape of his neck. He liked that. You remembered running them through his hair on the dancefloor, his hands on your body. Stomach doing somersaults, you wanted more – needed more. “Maybe a bit more tongue and I’ll give you an answer…”
He breathed out a shaky laugh and you thought he might hit back with something but there was no time for talking, not when he couldn’t bear to be away from your lips. Listening, he licked into your mouth, moving with a lot more confidence now. He held you tight before one of his hands came up to softly cup your cheek, the quietest of noises escaping his throat – showing just how much he was enjoying himself. You joined him, moaning gently into the kiss, your tongues untiring as the air around you shifted.
It was when your back hit the wall did you truly let yourself leave go, hands exploring the expanse of his back as he crowded you, humming greedily against your lips, his hands holding your face as if he couldn’t bear to leave you and come up for air. More memories fluttered their way past your eyelids, a lot more vivid now, Seokjin’s tongue beckoning them to the forefront of your mind.
You remembered your kiss was hot and heavy, up against your entry way wall. You had wanted him so bad in that moment and here wasn’t much different. It was like you had been thrown right back there – that eagerness, that want. The only reason you pulled away eventually was because you literally needed to breath. You didn’t fancy passing out, enjoying yourself way too much…
“I can’t believe you said to forget about this,” you managed to speak, breathless, lips wet and flush as you ran your hands across the broadness of his shoulders. God. You couldn’t stop touching him.
“I can’t believe you did forget about this,” he exclaimed. He was breathing heavy, just like at the club when you’d grinded all over him. Your memory was on your side now. All it had needed was a prod.
He did have you there. Your bad. But – “In my defence you supplied the tequila shots.” Although, you had suggested a second round…
He chuckled, leaning down to nip at your bottom lip. “Stop giving me attitude. It’s turning me on.”
You stomach flipped, your fingernails digging into the wool blend of his jumper as you held him to you. You wanted to kiss him for hours, because now that you’d started you didn’t want to stop.
“Should we head back now?” Seokjin asked against a curl of your tongue, one hand against the wall, the other stroking your jaw line. “They’re probably wondering where we both are.”
“In a moment,” you murmured, a hand of yours bravely dragging down his side. You hit the waistband of his jeans and curled a finger through a belt loop, nudging his crotch flush to yours. Your mouth did the rest of the talking. Sober you wanted what drunk you had missed out on.
“Fuck,” you heard him mutter, immediately understanding where you wanted this to lead. “Or we can just ditch those losers and go to my place?” He drew back to catch your reaction. “Your place?”
“We can’t do that.” As tempting as that sounded, you couldn’t not attend your own Christmas party you’d spent weeks organising. Seokjin was hot, but he wasn’t that hot. Plus, it would way too suspicious if you both just disappeared…
Seokjin agreed with a little sigh. “Yeah, you’re right.”
That didn’t mean you couldn’t think of other ideas though…
“What are you doing?” Seokjin asked, moving back slightly as you wrestled for your phone in your skirt pocket. He watched you search for Jungkook’s name in your phonebook – you were sure you still had his number from when you’d had to “mentor” him the first week he’d arrived. Success! You did! You hurriedly text him.
(13:31pm) You: I can’t find him. Start without us but LEAVE me some food
He replied immediately. He was probably withering away by now, the poor boy.
(13:32pm) Jungkook: Oh man Jin is so fucking dead
(13:32pm) Jungkook: Tell him I love him before you stick the knife in 🤪
(13:32pm) You: Sure thing
You looked up at Seokjin and grinned. “Just bought us half an hour.”
He looked impressed, an eyebrow cocked as he regarded you. “What are we going to do in half hour? – and please don’t say kill me.”
You giggled – actually giggled. Damn him. You reached for his belt loop again, tugging it gently. “Whatever it is, we can’t do it out in the hallway.”
You were playing a very dangerous game here. Out in the open, at your place of work. The storeroom was probably an even sillier idea – but that’s where you ended up dragging him into, flipping on the light to save being surrounded in darkness. You were 99% sure the surveillance cameras didn’t work on this floor anyway, so…
“You’re crazy,” he laughed weakly in disbelief, stumbling over an (empty) mop bucket as he went to reach for you.
“And you love it,” you smirked against his mouth, your arms wrapping around his neck.
The urge took over again, now in the privacy of the storage cupboard you were free to do whatever you liked. Seokjin grew hard against you quickly, your mouths locked together in haste as his palms felt up your ass. It wasn’t long before he picked you up, your legs wrapping around his middle as he continued to kiss you greedily against the wall. His hands slipped under your skirt, cupping your ass and you tried to circle your hips as best you could, feeling his erection through the layers of your tights and underwear, both of you straining out moans and grunts.
“I’m having déjà vu,” he grinned, lowering his mouth to nip at your neck. You gasped, pushing into him and he took the opportunity to begin to kiss your throat. Just like last time… Déjà vu, indeed.
Breaking away he looked between your bodies, the band of white wool along your skirt protecting your modesty, but only just. “You weren’t dressed as Mrs. Claus though.” He sunk his teeth into your neck once more, a little harder this time and you jerked, yelping as you squeezed the tops of his arms. He liked that reaction, licking a broad strip up the column of your throat, getting you all kinds of wet and sticky.
No doubt between your legs matched. You were hot, and impatient, and Seokjin’s mouth was evil. Especially when he lifted his head, dark fringe in his eyes, and smirked at you. Fuck, you really wanted him. Your heart was doing somersaults.
“A fucking sexy Mrs. Claus.”
You immediately rolled your eyes. Why was he ruining it? You were not about to partake in some sordid Christmas roleplay fantasy of his… “Just shut up and kiss me.”
He didn’t really feel like answering back.
A few minutes later you were placed back on the floor, your legs a little shaky as you clung to him, mouths still unrelenting. You were both heavy breathed and burning with desire. He pinned you to the wall with his thigh, separating your legs and giving you something else to grind against as his lips trailed the expanse of your throat, his fingers digging into the meat of your ass so hard you wouldn’t be surprised if he teared your hosiery.
You were weak, slick against your underwear and desperate for some sort of release. Seokjin panted against your ear. “Do you remember what you said that night?” Moaning was all you could give in reply. “You wanted my dick. You were begging for it.”
Hearing him speak like that drove you wild. “Mmhm. Remind me.” You could vaguely remember, too pent up to get embarrassed.
He moved his thigh, pressing his crotch flush to yours and hooked a finger under your chin, lifting your face so he could kiss you again. You could feel his erection and unable to hold off any longer you reached between you and wrapped your hand around him. You could recall doing this before, Seokjin stopping you, but this time he did no such thing. Instead, he pushed into your touch, his voice thick with something that made you shiver as he spoke.
“You drive me crazy… Every god damn day…”
Your mind was a little too preoccupied to truly concentrate on his words but they seemed to stir something inside of you. Nudge something that had been forgotten. You couldn’t place it, but it had to do with last weekend. Something he’d said to you… before he’d kissed you… You couldn’t remember but the faintest of memories made you glow.
“W-we should really just head to my place,” Seokjin stammered slightly, keening into your touch. You were sure his thighs were trembling, all the blood in his dick turning him weak.
“There’s no need,” you breezed, and before you could take a moment to reconsider you were dropping to your knees.
“Fuck, what are you doing?” He was practically beside himself, fingers digging into your shoulders as he watched you reach for the buttons on his jeans.
“What do you think?”
He sighed exhaustedly, a red flush beginning to travel its way up his neck, peeking above the collar of his sweater. “You’re trying to kill me.”
Whatever he’d been expecting to happen in here hadn’t been you sucking his dick, you could tell. You took great pleasure in that. It was fun getting this kind of reaction from him. Truth was, when the mood struck, the mood struck, and you wanted him – badly.
He watched you unbutton him, his black underwear coming into view – Calvin Klein, the band told you, and above that, where his jumper had ridden up, you could see a sliver of smooth tan skin – You just knew he was hiding a great body under there, but now wasn’t the time for stripping. You needed to be quick.
You tugged his jeans down a little past his hips, enough for easy access. “You really want to kill–ughgh –!”
He broke off with a surprised moan, your hand reaching inside his boxers to pull out his dick. Wrapping your palm around the base you gripped automatically, staring at what you could only describe as his third leg, with a slack jaw. “Of course you have a fucking massive dick,” you muttered, feeling a little unnerved.
Surprise immediately dissipating, Seokjin gave you a smirk. “That obvious, huh?”
You breathed heavily through your nose, beginning to run your fist along his length on instinct. It was a good looking dick, you’d give him that. Tense at your sudden movements, Seokjin soon eased up, watching you carefully. You looked up at him, giving him a tiny, slightly shy smile… There really was no going back now. Not that you wanted to. Things had changed and they were going to change even more after this…
“Come on,” he murmured, a hand reaching out to stroke your cheek. His voice sounded dangerous, low and honeyed as he gazed at you on your knees for him. “Suck it like I know you want to…”
You scoffed, although surely he could see the effect he had on you. You weren’t bluffing anybody, not even yourself. “Don’t rush me.”
Seokjin looked amused, but that soon changed when you swiped your tongue across the head of his cock in one fluid and determined motion. His knees pretty much buckled, a hand reaching for the side of your head, his fingers weaving into your hair. You chuckled a little mischievously, your lips wrapped around him, knowing the vibrations would fuck with his head some more. Seokjin laughed stiffly along, knowing what you were up to – knowing you loved having this sort of effect on him – but it sounded strained, wavering in the middle as his eyes locked with yours, the veins in his neck beginning to bulge with the strain.
You moved, wrapping your lips around him further, your tongue washing against the hot skin and he stumbled forward a little, a grunt slipping from his mouth. That fuelled you, slipping him deeper, your tongue tracing patterns along the underside before you pulled back and repeated. You weren’t kidding when you said he had a massive dick, it was almost daunting, but you found a way around it, massaging your fist along the base of him in time with your mouth until you found a confident rhythm.
“Oh, fuck.”
That boosted your ego too, taking great pleasure in the way you seemed to have stunned Seokjin into more or less complete silence. He wasn’t very cocky right now, was he? If you had known sucking his dick would shut him up, you’d have done it long ago – or maybe that was your own horniness talking… Who knew right now.
You popped off him, running your palm wider, further along to circle over the head, your saliva acting as lubrication, quiet squelching noises slipping from between your fingers. You smirked up at him, “Am I still boring?”
It took him a moment to process your question, his body hunched, surrendering to the pleasure, and you admired the way his lips parted, each breath audible as he stared down at you, dark eyes glazed over. God, he was hot. How had you been so unbothered by him for so long?
Shaking his head, he halfway came to. “Sucking my dick in a storeroom, can’t get any wilder than this. Well done, you proved me wrong.”
That was nice to hear. You liked it when he was wrong, mainly because you loved being right. You wrapped your free hand around the top of his thigh, needing the support as you took his dick in your mouth again. Feeling ambitious you willed yourself to relax as you eased along him, taking him deeper, beginning to bob back and forth, the faintest of noises escaping the back of your throat.
It drove him crazy, his head falling back as he whined. “If this is all just to prove a point and you stop before I cum, I’m going to cry like a motherfucking baby.”
You tried to laugh but ended up choking, gagging on his cock – unflattering surely, but he seemed to love it, his eyes flashing as he cupped your hand that gripped his girth, gently pulling it away to place on his other thigh. He didn’t want his view obstructed he watched. Besides, you didn’t need your hand as a safety net anymore anyway…
“Fu-ck, you look so good sucking my dick,” he awed, his voice hoarse. He tightened the hold he had on your hair, the fingers of his other hand brushing rouge strands out of your face. You looked up at him, mouth stuffed and he smirked. It made your core pulse. “On your knees. You couldn’t get down there quick enough.”
A moan slipped from your throat, pulsating against his cock. Of course the guy had a filthy mouth, it should’ve been obvious. What was shocking though, was the effect it had on you. Dirty talk was cringeworthy in your eyes, not many men could pull it off – not even Namjoon – but words like that coming from Seokjin?! You were sure you’d just freshly drenched your underwear. It would surely be a slip ‘n’ slide down there when he finally got his hands on you – If he got his hands on you. Fuck, he better.
A nudge of his hips cut short your momentary distraction, realising that Seokjin was beginning to thrust ever so slightly into your mouth. He noticed your attention on him and asked hesitantly, “This okay?”
“Mhmmhmm,” you hummed, gurgling a little which seemed to drive him a little crazy. You let him take control, concentrating on breathing through your nose and pleasuring him with your tongue as he gently fucked your mouth.
You were losing your mind, hazy pleasure blurring your vision and clouding your thoughts. Rationality was out the window long ago, all that you knew was the red, hot want you had for him. The Christmas party and the fact you were risking your job right now didn’t come into play, all you cared about was chasing that desire.
Looking up at Seokjin you noticed his eyes were closed now, his chin tilted towards the ceiling, expression contorted with pleasure as the quietest of moans escaped his throat with each rugged breath he took. You pulsed down below, only this time the urge burned its way up your body, getting hotter as he quickened his motions, seemingly losing himself, seemingly pursuing his end.
He pulled back abruptly during one withdraw, breath shaky as he kept the tip of his cock inside your mouth, as if he couldn’t bear to be apart from the warm wetness. You sucked firmly, catching his gaze and he just about lost it, eyes rolling into the back of his skull.
“Shit,” he cursed, ever so slightly nudging further into you, edging himself almost. You darted the tip of your tongue along his slit, earning yourself a soft hiss. His thighs were trembling, you could feel the vibrations under your palm and his neck was thick and tense with strain, patched red, as he tried his might to gain some control over the pleasure you were giving him. “J-Just checking, there’s no chance we’ll have sex in here, right?”
His voice trembled too, all light and airy and so unlike his voice that you were familiar with. His eyes were blow wide as he gaped down at you, his lips plumper than you’d ever seen them before. He was beautiful. Damn, you really wanted to kiss him again…
You slid away, cupping your hand around his dick to jerk him off ever so slowly, a couple of inches along the base. He was more than slick now, coated in your spit, flesh veiny and angry red. Shifting on your knees, ignoring the cricks to power on through, you shrugged. “Not unless you carry condoms with you at work.”
He pondered for a moment. “I can’t say I do.” That caused you to chuckle, leaning in to curl your tongue against the side of his cock. He startled, a loud moan escaping that was surely unnecessary, but it did wonders for your ego.
He tightened his hold on your head, angling you to the tip of his dick, desperate to get back into your warmth. “So you won’t be disappointed when I inevitably bust a nut?”
You raised an eyebrow, his cock drawing translucent patterns against your lips as you replied. “That’s why I’m down here.”
He whimpered, the sheer thought of coming exciting him further. You slipped him back inside, feeling him grip his fingers into your hair, anchoring himself – and you, in preparation.
“Oh, ffuck,” he muttered, watching you begin to meet every thrust his hips gave you. You were determined, eager for him to cum. You hadn’t sucked dick in so long but now you were in your element, each reaction from Seokjin, no matter how small, encouraging you. The fact he was hiding a foot long in his pants was now no issue at all. You were a pro, just like in all aspects of life.
A strange sound left the back of Seokjin’s throat, almost as if he was getting strangled and his shoulders slumped, the rest of him growing stiff. “Where am I doing this?” He asked weakly. “Y/N?” He demanded pretty shrilly when you didn’t reply.
You weren’t relenting, somehow pushing him deeper into your mouth and down your throat and he groaned loudly, blunt nails digging into your scalp. “You want me to cum down your throat?”
Ding Ding. Clever Seokjin.
You nodded widely around his girth, gagging a little a process, but this time you owned it. He loved it.
“Fuck.” He grunted, spreading his feet a little, planting himself to the tiles. “You really want my fucking cum.”
You moaned, sending a fire of vibrations up his dick and you knew you had him. His hips stilled almost instantly, his cock rammed inside your mouth and you readjusted, using your tongue to coax his release. He came with a deep exhale like moan, stumbling forward with a surprised grunt as one of his hands reached out to slam into the wall behind you. You held him steady with your hands flat against his thighs, swallowing his cum down quickly because you definitely had a love hate relationship with the stuff. Dealt with swiftly, you more than welcomed it.
Seokjin softly chuckled down at you as he fell from your mouth, now well on his way to growing flaccid and eased off as you straightened your back and made motions to stand (on shaky legs). He tucked himself back inside his underwear, the snap of the waistband making you flutter. Flutter where you wanted him to touch the most.
You felt warmth as he hooked a hand around your hip, pulling you to him with a bashful grin. “That was worth getting fired for.”
You giggled, wiping the sides of your mouth with the back of your hand before cupping the back of his neck, dragging him closer as you backed up against the wall. You liked when he crowded around you, liked feeling him against your body. Your body that was screaming for him right now…
“No one’s getting fired,” you reassured, voice a murmur and then either you or he connected your mouths again. Couldn’t tell who – it was probably both of you. It was amusing that you were the one assuring him, Miss. Uptight who worried about every single little thing. He was the one was supposed to be carefree, yet this had all been your idea.
Your hand dragged down his chest, feeling the hardness of his pecs, and for a split second you thought about taking him up on the offer of ditching the party and driving to his place. You wanted to get him naked, wanted to see what you could feel, and you really wanted to fuck him. Yet, you knew it was a bad idea. Even worse than sucking dick on the second floor of the office building. Possibly.
“How long do you think we have before they throw a search party?” Seokjin asked, cupping your face with one hand as the other snaked down to your ass.
“We still have time.”
You and Seokjin were always at one another’s throats, no one would guess you were actually getting it on directly underneath them… You were positive.
“Hm. Enough for me to return the favour?” He contemplated.
You made a noise of agreement, nodding eagerly as you stretched for his mouth, unable to just. Stop. Kissing. Him.
It turned hot and heavy immediately, decision now made, and you grasped at one another, kissing wildly. “I love touching you,” he grunted against your tongue, hands gripping anything he could. You had to agree, especially his shoulders. You’d never felt anything like them in your entire life, no wonder he had the upper body strength to hold you up. He was big. Big big, and it was driving you crazy.
“This ass,” he growled, pulling away from your lips as both hands cupped the rounds of flesh, giving them a very keen and firm squeeze. Skirt bunched up at your hips he had the perfect access. You moaned, the heat between your bodies becoming unbearable and you nearly collapsed into him when one of his hands found its way to your core, cupping the sensitive flesh hesitantly. That was until he felt how soaked you were. It had seeped through your underwear, dampening your tights. It felt heavy and uncomfortable but you guessed that was soon to change now that he’d gotten his hands on you…
“So fucking wet,” he purred, dropping his height a little to meet your eyes. His fingers slipped inside your panties, his index and middle finger running along your folds before a knuckle found your clit, your hips bucking. He rubbed the bundle of nerves rather lightly, but it was enough. You were beside yourself, any pleasure, however slight, blowing your mind. You moaned sweetly, hot air puffing against Seokjin’s lips. He smirked. “Someone’s very responsive.”
“Please,” you moaned, however you weren’t too sure what you needed to beg for.
He loved it though, smirking wider. “There she is.”
“Please, Seokjin,” you repeated, clutching to the neck of his sweater. Hazy memories of last weekend drifted into the forefront of your mind. Begging him for his dick. Sadly, you couldn’t have that right now, but there was always second best.
Leaning in as if to kiss you he pulled back last minute, a teasing lilt to his tone as he asked you a question. “What do you want, baby?”
You moaned again, the pet name not so bad after all and pressed into his touch, the headiness in his voice making you tremble with need. Your answer was simple. “Your fingers.”
Seokjin wasted no time, yanking his hand away to tug at your hosiery. They didn’t budge, so he moved his other hand from your ass to help. Maybe the light sheen of sweat that painted your skin had stuck tight the nylon – or maybe he was just useless…
“What the hell are these?” He huffed, clearly impatient.
“Stop, you’re going to rip them,” you told him off. All you needed was to walk back inside the office with laddered tights… How very unsuspicious…
“They’re dumb.”
“I’m sorry,” you exclaimed, “wasn’t expecting us to be getting it on today.”
Seokjin paused what he was doing to shoot you a look of sheer judgement. “Getting it on?”
“Shut up,” you grumbled. Yes, maybe your choice of words were lame, but it still stood. You were getting it on right now!
He laughed and tugged at the waistband one last time, finally succeeding but also yanking down your underwear in the process.
“Let me see you,” he strained out, gripping your hips and you had no time to feel embarrassed by your sudden waist-down nakedness. His eyes drunk up your soaked core, before he looked up at your face again, his right hand reaching for you, each brush of his fingertips turning you boneless. “Fuck. You have the best pussy I’ve ever seen.”
He was kissing you again, pushing you further into the wall. Pussy. Under all circumstances that word was just yuck, but once again, coming from Seokjin it didn’t seem so bad anymore. It made your core leap, but that might have been something to do with the way he was nestling a deft, long finger inside of you. Your walls clenched around the intrusion as you moaned into his mouth and you gripped at his shoulders, rolling your hips as he started to curl the digit against your warmth.
Ever so carefully he added a second finger, the burn easing quickly as pleasure took over. His thumb rubbed messy circles against your clit, your arousal beginning to squelch audibly inside the small room. You hooked your arms around his neck instead, pulling him closer and he grunted into your mouth, sounding unlike himself.
“Seokjin–!” You mewled, falling from his mouth to catch your breath.
“Yeah, me,” he smirked, his free had rubbing small circles into your hip as he continued to give you what you wanted. “I love it when you say my name.” His lips landed on your throat and you pushed your head to the side, pretty sure you were moaning too loudly now but the stimulation was too good to ignore. You grew wetter. His fingers easily sliding in and out of you as he started to finger you quicker, the lewd squelching sticking inside your ears.
“You’re soaked, Y/N. Did I do this?” He murmured against your ear before nibbling your lobe. You shuddered. “Sucking my dick made you so horny.” The hand on your hip slid to your ass, and he squeezed the meat hard, using it as leverage to go even faster. You squeezed around his fingers tightly, crying out.
But then there was nothing but emptiness as he pulled them out, making you gasp out in shock. He looked playfully smug. “What’s up? Lost your voice?”
This fucker. Jungkook was right, you were going to murder him. Only not for going AWOL but for not giving you the orgasm you craved. Seokjin’s wet hand massaged the inside of your thigh, and you squeezed your legs together trying your best to ease the tension that was building up.
“Seokjin, don’t fuck around.” You told him sternly, although your voice was anything but calm.
“Am I fucking around?” He asked, grinning from ear to ear as he lowered his shoulders and stole another look at your needy heat. Something inside him changed then, as he let out a curse. “Shit. I wanna taste you.” His eyes pleaded with you. “Can taste you?”
You were nodding before you realised, although you weren’t about to say please again –
you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. Instead you exhaled out a shaky yes.
Squatting immediately he pulled the nylon passed your knees, lifting a foot to slip off one of your heels, the leg of your hosiery following soon after. You wobbled as he raised your foot higher and you reached out for his shoulders to steady yourself.
“I got you,” he reassured. “I just need to spread you a little.” Hooking your foot on the bottom shelf of the cabinet next to you, your legs widened, giving him perfect access to where you needed him the most. “There,” he said, looking pleased with himself.
His gaze soon darkened when he got a look at you and you braced yourself against the wall as he stalked nearer, a palm cupping your thigh before he followed the curve with his mouth, kissing his way closer and closer to your core. You groaned softly when his lips parted around your clit, warmth flooding you, slowly inking its way through your veins and darting his tongue out he brushed it against you slowly, repeating with the same rhythm until you were squirming, a hand reaching for his hair just for something to grip.
He sped up, learning what your body liked quickly, dropping to one knee to sink further into you. You moaned pretty loudly when you felt his fingers press against your entrance, slipping inside, and you took him greedily and nosily, pushing into his tongue that had now curled around your clit as he sucked softly.
You fell to pieces. Fingernails dragging along his scalp as you tugged at his hair. Which he seemed to love, by the way. If his grunting was anything to go by, his movements more determined, firmer. Each time he sucked, point of his tongue flicking against you, you lost it a bit more, gasping out in pleasure. Boy knew how to use his mouth, you were pleasantly surprised.
He pulled back, his breath a little ragged and replaced his tongue with the pad of his thumb, rubbing tight, firm circles against your sticky clit. “You like getting your clit sucked. Noted.” He grinned, sending your stomach flipping. His mouth and chin were covered in your arousal, which he made no attempt to clean off. In fact, he went immediately back for seconds, licking a wide strip up your whole core, noises of satisfaction leaving him.
“God, Seokjin,” you murmured weakly, dizzy and trembling. If he kept this up you were going to cum very soon. Especially with the way his fingers caressed your insides, pressing deep until he hit something that had you yelping.
He looked triumphant as he dropped to both knees now, looking up at you, watching your reaction as he repeatedly curled against your g-spot. You squirmed around, pleasure becoming a little unbearable but oh, so addictive.
“So, no one ends up fucking at the office Christmas party, huh?” He asked nonchalantly. This fucker was really having a casual conversation with you as he tried to bring you to your knees. By his smug grin, he knew what he was doing.
Well, not on your watch.
You bit back a moan, and shrugged, trying your best to sound normal. “We’re not going all the way so technically, that still stands.”
He laughed loudly, genuinely amused, but his fingers had other ideas. He pulled out halfway, straightening his digits to fuck into you – hard. You choked out, feeling him slowly withdraw, letting you catch your breath before he repeated. And repeated. And repeated…
You were close to seeing stars, the moans rolling freely from your mouth as you clung to his hair. He was evil. “Seok–oh, shit,” you cursed, feeling him deep inside you yet again. “Seokjinnn.”
“What is it, babe?” He asked, acting oblivious. At the name you clenched around his soaked fingers. “I knew you loved it when I called you that.” You didn’t have time to chew him out because his tongue was washing against your clit again, curling around it, prodding it, sucking it… Your eyes rolled back, a thin sheen of sweat coating your neck and chest, and you knew you weren’t long for this world. You were ten seconds away from becoming a puddle on the floor.
“Gonna cum, baby?” You squeezed around his fingers again, clit pulsing against his tongue. “You love that too.” You could feel his shit eating grin against you but didn’t care.
“Don’t stop,” you demanded, out of breath.
“Not planning on it,” he affronted, licking up your folds once again. You gasped loudly, clenching your eyes tightly closed. You were hanging over the pinnacle, just a little more and you’d fall. You were this close to coming and you might explode in the process.
“I’m going to make this pussy cum so good. So fucking good,” Seokjin almost goaded, which was in fact, what pushed you over the edge. You came with a loud, strained cry, white hot pleasure that exploded behind your eyelids.
He made sure to rinse you for all you were worth, until you were writhing out of his grip, your grasp on his hair easing and then he was jumping to his feet, his mouth suddenly on yours with a grunt, kissing you like crazy. You couldn’t tell who was out of breath more.
“Tonight.” He announced ferociously. “Tonight. Please come over and let me fuck you.”
You moaned at the thought, your tongues turning messy as you tried to concentrate and form words. “My place. I live alone. We can be as loud as we like.”
.
.
Five minutes later you were back in your tights, knees wobbling together as you tried to slip into your shoe. There wasn’t time for more chitchat – or kissing, you needed to get back to the office before someone came looking for you both.
“So does that mean you forgive me over Rosal & Steinar?” Seokjin asked curiously, still fairly out of breath. He’d wiped his mouth now, in attempt to clean himself up, but his bangs were slightly kinked, forehead shiny and his cheeks were very much still red.
You turned to him and smirked. “Another orgasm and maybe.”
He chuckled. “I’m positive that can be arranged.” You didn’t doubt it. “No, but really,” he carried on, taking you by surprise when he clasped your hand, rooting you to the spot. “You know I had to do it, right? I felt terrible but there weren’t many options.”
His eyes pooled with sincerity and you found yourself softening, growing touched. It was nice to know he hadn’t done it out of spite – although why he would have seemed pretty ludicrous to believe now… No, you’d just been bitter.
“I know, Seokjin,” you smiled, giving his hand a squeeze. “I’ve forgotten about it.” He looked a little sceptical. “I forgive you,” you insisted with a laugh. It was either he closed the deal or they found another company… They were legitimately the only two options. You got it.
He returned your smile, finally accepting your reassurance, and you tugged at his hand, opening the storeroom door. You needed to leave. Now.
But –
Turning back at him over your shoulder, you shot him a playful grin. “Doesn’t mean I won’t steal them back next year though.”
His eyes widened in surprise before they lit up, his laughter loud down the empty hallway.
“Game on, baby.”
.
.
“Do I look acceptable?”
You and Seokjin were mere inches from the door leading into the office, your whispers nervous as you hesitated about going inside. You needed to get your best lying face on. ASAP.
“Hang on,” you said, reaching up to adjust his Santa’s hat. The flush on his face had paled, thankfully. “There we go. What about me?”
“Hm.” He pondered, cupping your face to stare down at you, worrying you actually. “I still think we look like we were giving mad head in the storeroom.”
“Stop,” you groaned, pulling away from him as you realised he was only teasing. You were still pretty sticky downstairs, but you were sure you looked visibly presentable. “You’re going to make it obvious.”
Finally plucking up the courage, you pushed the door open and stepped inside, Seokjin following. Your Christmas playlist grew louder instantly and of course, the first person you saw was Jungkook, ass perched on your desk for some reason, snacking on a bowl of olives. He popped them like they were grapes. He better not have dripped olive oil over your keyboard, you’d kill him.
“Ah, look who turned up to their own party,” he exclaimed, standing up. He dropped the bowl right next to your desktop and wiped his fingers into his jeans, striding towards you both.
You took a deep breath and went for that Oscar. “Blame Seokjin,” you fumed.
“Where the hell did you disappear to?” He laughed, directing his question to Seokjin who stood behind you still.
“I, uh... I...”
You rolled your eyes inwardly. If he fucked this up, well then, he wasn’t fucking you tonight…
“I went to grab a cake.”
A fucking cake. He’d walked in empty handed. Great white lie there, Seokjin…
Jungkook looked back and forth between you, his face contorting in confusion. “So... Where is the cake?”
“Uh.”
You needed to save this idiot. “Dummy forgot to order it,” you sneered, walking past Jungkook to grab the bowl of olives.
“Hey,” Seokjin exclaimed, sounding way too offended for it to be acting, just as Jungkook burst into laughter. You didn’t know what Seokjin expected, he’d walked straight into that one.
“I really thought she’d killed you,” Jungkook told his friend, whacking his shoulder. Seokjin’s eyes widened in warning, a hand coming out to karate slice the younger guy’s neck.
“I went easy on him,” you grinned, stopping them before they started wrestling for real. “– Y’know, Christmas spirit and all that.”
That caught Seokjin’s attention. You looked at one another properly for the first time since you’d stepped inside. Eyebrows raised he looked entertained. “You went easy on me?”
“Yup,” you nodded, unable to hide your smirk.
His expression changed for a split second, a glimmer in his eyes that made you mildly feverish at the thought of him getting his hands on you later on.
“Duly noted,” was all he replied, and you shared a smile before Jungkook interrupted.
“I saved you both some food. Come on,” he motioned with his hand.
“Thanks, JK,” Seokjin bellowed, clapping his back.
You followed behind them, nerves easing up. “Yeah, thanks, Jungkook.”
.
.
If anything, Seokjin was the one who got grilled the most during the rest of the party, he had been the one to disappear after all, so it was fun watching him squirm as Hoseok demanded answers. He looked a right fool for “forgetting” to order a cake, but he’d brought it all on himself so you couldn’t feel too sorry for him…
He was also risking a lot when he felt up your ass as you were finding his stupid Secret Santa gift in your desk drawer, ready to exchange with everyone. You straightened up immediately, pushing his hand away just in case anyone noticed – Mina was literally a desk away from you, although she was too busy giggling at Jungkook who was acting up on the karaoke machine to notice anything.
Seokjin winked as you glared at him. “Can’t wait for tonight.”
You pointed your index finger between his eyes. “Behave or I’ll cancel.”
But, you both knew you were just talking shit…
Written 2020 - 2021.
Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed.
© floralseokjin 2021
#seokjin fanfic#bts fanfic#seokjin smut#bts smut#jin smut#jin fanfic#floralseokjin:writings#fic:final sleigh
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So I kind of accidentally helped trigger a bit of a freak out in the Buckynat fandom for calling out Jackson Lanzing on twitter yesterday. Whoops.
I'm talking about this exchange >> click me
Anyway, this is giving me an excuse to word vomit about my feelings about Man on the Wall so whatever.
I said yesterday that every time Lanzing mentions how important the Kot/Rudy Winter Soldier run is to him (especially re: the upcoming Cap run), I start sweating, and I think that's a common response since most Bucky fans I know hate that run. I wanted to ask him directly what it is about that comic that speaks to him but I didn't wanna come off as confrontational, so I didn't.
So, I'm going to attempt to parse it out.
So far he's said:
"A huge part of our story is about taking Steve out of the superhero game and into something resembling normal life."
And about Bucky he said: "And on the Bucky side, Higgins/Reis looms large as groundwork for the character as he walks into our story. And I've been pretty open about how the Kot/Rudy run completely changed up my view of Bucky as a character, so consider that one required reading."
So the common thread I see here is 'a life beyond duty'. Second Chances was Bucky's attempt at having a somewhat normal life. Moreover, the story revolved about Bucky facilitating other people walking away from bad situations in order to start over as civilians. We also know from Devil's Reign: Winter Soldier that he just gave up this happy ending in order to learn the truth about his past.
So this brings me to Man on the Wall.
On paper, Man on the Wall has a fascinating concept. Consider where Bucky is, emotionally, when he takes the job. He's been chasing personal redemption for a while, and it hasn't quite worked out. His run as Cap ended poorly. He tried to find redemption by reclaiming the Winter Soldier, and that also ended badly; he not only lost Natasha, but he went to such dark places in that run, that while attempting to redeem "the Winter Soldier", he wound up corrupting himself. And then Fury's offer comes along and he's quick to snatch it. And there's nothing redemptive about it, it's resignation. It's him saying, this is what I've done all my life, doing the dirty work is all I’m good for, (he did it for Steve back in the day, after all), what I am is a soldier, and a killer. And yeah, there is some aspect of nobility here, as in doing the wrong thing for the right reasons, but ultimately it's an escalation. And a regression of sorts.
That’s where he is when he arrives at Mer-Z Bow and meets Ventolin.
Overall, I found that run to be difficult to follow and connect to, for multiple reasons, but the point it was trying to make is summarized in that last panel:
Just because this is what you’ve always done, it doesn’t mean it’s who you have to be for the rest of your life, you can open yourself up to new avenues. And that is beautiful. And I would’ve loved to see Bucky wrestle with that idea while doing Fury’s dirty work.
The problem is, that's not what happens in this book. Mostly because Bucky spends the bulk of this run with very little agency in the plot, because all he does is just stand there and look pretty. Like, literally, I'm not even exaggerating. Daisy Johnson sees more action. Cause, when it comes down to it, the main character of this book is not our Bucky, it's the Old Man Bucky from that future/different universe. This comic is like that Chris Pratt and J. Law movie Passengers, in that it's supposed to be a space romance, but it's really just a psychological thriller. There's this great Youtube video where someone explores how the story changes if we edit the movie so that it starts when J.Law's character wakes up and that we, the audience, find out Chris Pratt woke her up on purpose at the same time she does and we get to feel the real horror of what he did.
That’s how I feel about this comic.
Sure, I know I have my biases because I’m a buckynat fan, but I’m also pretty ship neutral and can be up for anything as long as you sell it to me. The thing is, I never bought Bucky and Ventolin’s love story because Kot never actually showed it to me. I don’t know why they’re in love (I mean, we barely even see them interact, to be honest). Actually, if I’m remembering this correctly, neither does Bucky, he just feels it because he had a dream. A dream that we are not privy to. A dream that may or may not have been psychically sent to him via Old Man Bucky. And this is where things get icky for me, because it brings up issues of consent.
This comic was a bit confusing but I think it’s fair to interpret it this way. A version of Bucky somewhere in the universe wound up in Mer-Z Bow, fell in love and found peace. And now that Bucky is out there making sure every Bucky gets his happy ending. He directly interferes with our Bucky’s life. And I think Bucky has had enough of people messing about with his agency. But no one ever brings this up in the text. Bucky has feelings he can’t explain and he just goes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
So Jackson Lanzing says he’s a Ventolin stan and my first reaction is lol, why. But I think it might be more about the idea of what Ventolin represented: the possibility of a life beyond the duty of being a soldier.
And I’m okay with that conceit being explored by a better writer than Ales Kot. I think Kot came up with a great idea, he just didn’t understand Bucky well enough to do anything really meaningful with it.
Devil’s Reign is setting up major retcons for Bucky. We don’t know the extent of it yet. But we at least know Bucky will be wrestling with issues of choice and consent again, cause it looks like he was groomed to be a killer his whole life. And that’s gotta be brutal, especially if it turns out his parents were in on it, thus destroying the memory of his family, too.
And to circle this back to buckynat, I get the feeling Lanzing (and maybe Kelly) might think that relationship belongs to a specific moment in Bucky’s life, years that are associated with great darkness. And that in a way, as long as they are together, then they’ll never really leave the Red Room (psychologically speaking). If the idea is having Bucky move on from the life that was chosen for him, then I can see them not touching it. That doesn’t mean I agree with that, I’m just speculating at to possible reasonings.
Anyway, I rambled for long enough.
#bucky barnes#winter soldier#buckynat#adjacent#devil's reign: winter soldier#bucky barnes meta#wow this got away from me
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Hospital Playlist 1
Pairing – [Surgeon! Seokjin x Reader]
Genre – [Doctor AU, Fluff, Single Dad AU, Drabble]
Summary – [It’s that dreaded time of the year for your annual check up but this year your encounter with a little girl lands you a date with a cute surgeon at the end of the day.]
Warnings – [mention of blood draw for medical purposes, mention of surgery, you don’t like hospitals, you have an autoimmune disease, checkups]
Word Count – [2k]
Author note. It’s Jin’s birthday in a couple of days! I planned four little drabbles because he was born on the 4th of December. The idea came to me yesterday when I was drawing my mom’s blood for her health check up but she hates to wait in line in the hospital so I usually do it and then she just drops by the lab. So this is self indulgent because I have an autoimmune disease. Well you got the concept even though the unnecessary TMI I just shared hehe
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⤷ Hospital Playlist [Series Masterlist]
You nod your head as a silent thanks to the taxi driver. The building is huge towering over you the more you walk closer to the entrance. Hospitals are not your favourite places to be but your annual check up this year is something that you can’t avoid. Know what they say, new city new doctor – you literally don’t know anyone who says that but whatever.
”Yes mom I’m heading towards the building right this moment as we speak.” You playfully roll your eyes as she goes on and on about how important it is to check if there’s any level of antibody in your blood and as she likes to say it – if you cheated on your diet or not. The last couple of years you didn’t have the time to visit the doctor and to be honest if you already know that you’re making sure your diet is on point you see no reason why you should go to these annual checkups. It’s the end of November it’s freezing cold out here and you could drink a cup of hot cocoa instead of getting lost at these long corridors on a Monday.
”Look, I’ll call you after I’m done here ok?” You end the call when you realise you’re utterly lost inside this huge building.
It’s stupid that you thought that you can find your way to Dr Kim’s office in this maze. A bigger hospital in a bigger city makes sense you’re not at the little town that you grew up in anymore. No one is really walking by you so you assume you’re not at the right place, as usual. You turn on your heel and head back when a little girl just runs by you.
You don’t see a guardian with her and there’s no one in sight you couldn’t live with yourself if something happens so you follow the little girl and try to catch her attention. She finally stops at the end of the corridor and she has the biggest toothy grin that you’ve ever seen.
”Where are your parents, honey?” You crouch down in front of her and help her detangle the ribbon in her pigtails. The one who did her hair seemed to not know what they were doing so you fixed it as it already come halfway undone.
”My dad works here he’s a doctor. I was in his office because the usual babysitter couldn’t come today but I got bored so I left. I got lost.”
”I’m lost too maybe we can find the way back together?” You reach out for her to hold your hand and she immediately latched onto your arm. Swinging your hands back and forth playfully. She’s a bright kid she keeps chatting your ears off all the way back to the reception taking you off your feet with her jokes that she heard from his dad.
”…Yes she has two red ribbons tied to her hair and she’s this tall and she’s only seven years old. I can’t find her anywhere.”
It seems like you’re at the right place you only caught half of this man’s frantic explaining but you can tell that this little girl by your side is who he’s talking about to the security. He’s wearing a white coat, a doctor just like Eunhee said. From this angle, you could only see how tall he is and how wide his shoulders are. He looks attractive even from the back what the hell.
”Dad!”
Her father turns around when he hears her yelling but she doesn’t let your hand go and runs off to him like you expected instead she starts to pull you by your intertwined hands in his direction. ”Dad! Look! She fixed my hair!”
You try not to giggle when you remember the state her hair was before. No wonder the pigtails looked so messy it was made by a man probably in a rush in the morning.
Eunhee lets your hand go when his dad gets on his knees to hug her he looks relieved now that she’s in his line of sight.
”I told you not to wander off. I was so worried.” You could listen to his voice all day. Even if it’s him scolding his daughter. He’s even more handsome up close you can’t wait to gush about him to your mother on the call when you eventually leave. This visit might be worth it after seeing such beauty. It should be illegal for men to look this good. You bet he works as a cardiologist he probably fixes hearts for a living. (Well he could come and fix your heart.) Now that you can see the front of his coat you could read his name. Dr Kim Seokjin.
You were about to leave now that you’re done you’re too shy in his presence to talk to him but the handsome doctor catches up to you before you could disappear. He has his daughter in his arms her little feet are dangling on either side of his hips. You find them both adorable as she holds onto his dad like a little monkey.
”Wait. I want to thank you for leading my girl back. My name’s Seokjin. Can I know yours?” You shake his outstretched hand after you utter your name. He thinks you’re pretty cute. Seokjin wonders if you’re a patient here or have here someone to visit. He hopes it’s not your boyfriend though. You try to appear confident and look into his eyes but it’s hard to maintain the eye contact. Eunhee doesn’t pick up on your awkwardness as she answers instead of you when his father asks what brought you here at the hospital.
”Right. I have an appointment with Dr Kim Taehyung the gastroenterologist but I got lost. This is my first time in this hospital I moved here last month so I’m still exploring the city and everything.” You catch yourself before you could talk about more unimportant things to the handsome doctor but he finds your nervous blabbering quite charming.
”I could show you the way.” Jin smiles in your direction and places Eunhee down on the ground now that he’s not in a hurry to catch up to you. He takes her hand but what surprises you both is that she reaches for your other hand swinging your arms back and forth like she did before. It could be a cute habit of hers seeing that his father is not that fazed about it.
”No it’s fine! I was about to ask for help from one of the nurses I bet you’re busy.” You stand there awkwardly waiting for the ground to swallow you whole but unsurprisingly it doesn’t happen and Eunhee is still holding onto your hand.
”I’m not busy. Until my next surgery, there’s still … 3 hours or so. Let’s go.” Seokjin looks at his watch for emphasis and winks. Freaking winks in your direction! You might need CPR. If it’s just a dream and you’re sleeping they better not wake you up.
You just nod and follow them you can’t do much as Eunhee holds your hand hostage. Jin thinks it might be a good sign that his daughter took a liking to you so soon. She’s normally not that bubbly with strangers but she does seem to genuinely like you.
You treat her like your own you listen to her stories and engage in conversation even though you just met her. His family is everything to him and seeing how good you are with children it’s just adding to the list of why he wants to ask you out on a date. He really hopes that you don’t have a boyfriend that he doesn’t know about.
You get a few curious looks from the nurses as you pass them but the doctor next to you doesn’t even give them a second glance.
It might be a weird sight to see his daughter and some stranger walk hand in hand. The hospital staff probably knows Dr Kim better than you considering that you just met him a few minutes ago. This is probably a rare sight they might not know who is her mother. Work stuff and personal life are separate things after all.
What if they mistook you for her mother? Oh, no and now you’re blushing just thinking about it! You assume that he’s a single dad. You can’t say it for sure and it would be weird to ask about it all of a sudden. Eunhee didn’t mention her mother to you when you asked and otherwise, she wouldn’t need a babysitter right?
”So…you’re a surgeon?” Seokjin beams when you choose the opening to ask a question about him now that his daughter is momentarily out of things to say. To be honest you just hate the silence that settled in and another part of you want to spend this short walk to Dr Kim Taehyung’s office to get to know him a bit better before you never see him again.
You’re oblivious to his stares and how he contemplates in his head how to ask you out without sounding like a creep.
”Yes I’m an oculoplastic surgeon. I specialise in eye surgery in short.” You smile when he immediately simplifies the term in case you’re not familiar with the word.
”I had a five hour long surgery in the morning this is why Eunhee got so bored alone in my office. It was supposed to be a routine one but the new intern messed up so I had to…”Your mother is a nurse so you know more than average but you don’t correct him as he keeps explaining his duties as a surgeon. You like to hear him talk more since he sounds so passionate about his work.
”Sorry I’m probably boring you with my doctor talk.” Seokjin suddenly stops mid sentence and rubs the back of his neck.
”I’m not bored. I like to listen to you.” You’re quick to correct him that makes you flush with embarrassment when you realise how eager you seem. You hope he doesn’t think that you’re weird. While in reality, Seokjin thinks that you might be the woman of his dreams.
Eunhee tugs on both of your hands to hurry up breaking the small bubble that you found yourself in. You’re a little worried that she’s leading the way but you hope that Dr Kim would tell you if you were going in the wrong direction.
”Well we’re here.”
You three stop in front of a white door. The wooden plate shows Dr Kim Taehyung in bold letters. You swear you walked by this corridor before when you were searching but you’re glad you got lost. You got to meet this handsome doctor and his cute little daughter they definitely made your stay here a pleasant one since you normally dread hospitals.
”Thank you for showing the way, Dr Kim.” You try not to sound so disappointed now that your limited time with him come to an end. Your face is like an open book to the doctor and it gives him the needed confidence boost to finally say something.
”There’s no need for formalities between us. I’m not your doctor so call me Jin please. Also, it would be weird to call me Dr Kim as I’m about to ask you out for coffee.”
”W- what?” Your eyes are twice their size as you realise the handsome doctor that you’ve been drooling over since you laid your eyes on him just asked you out on a date. Damn. Now you’re positive this is a dream. It’s too good to be true.
”What do you say Y/N would you like to go on a date with me? I’m busy but I could always make time when it involves coffee and a cute girl.” And there’s that wink again. How could you say no? So instead you say yes.
#jin#seokjin#bts fanfiction#seokjin fanfiction#seokjin fluff#doctor seokjin#doctor jin#seokjin fic#bts fic#seokjin fanfic#bts fanfic#fic#fanfic#fanfiction#bts drabble#seokjin drabble#bts fluff#seokjin x reader#bts#bts doctor au#jin fanfic#jin fic#jin fanfiction#jin drabble#jin fluff#drabble#doctor au#bts mini series
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Tubbo and Wilbur’s Parallels
tw/ mentions of death / suicidal ideations
“If I can’t become the next Schlatt, then you can’t become the next Wilbur.”
This is a quote from Tubbo, given just before the exile arc began, when he was arguing with Tommy. Tommy accused him of acting like Schlatt because he was putting the nation's needs before him. Tubbo, offended at the comparison, reminds Tommy that he is acting irrationally, and is reminding Tubbo of Wilbur.
When we speak of parallels between Tubbo and Tommy with Schlatt and Wilbur, we’re often inclined to compare Tubbo with Schlatt, because they worked together so closely during Schlatt’s reign, and the complicated relationship between them which ultimately ended up with Schlatt having Tubbo lose a canon life for his betrayal. And due to Tommy and Wilbur's close relationship before and up to Wilbur's betrayal, it's easy to draw comparisons between them as well.
But I think we often overlook a lot of similarities between Tubbo and Wilbur that are worth delving into more, and the farther Tubbo goes with his character the more comparisons I keep catching. At this point I think Tubbo's character parallels Wilbur's far more than Tommy's does.
Wilbur was the founder of L’Manberg, and its first president. It’s a nation he built from the ground up, which started as nothing more than a front for his drug lab but grew into something bigger and more meaningful than Wilbur ever planned for. While on the server he found love (?) and had a child, Fundy, and then things began to get rocky as they fought for their independence against Dream.
Ultimately Wilbur fails to protect L’Manberg and their independence is bought by way of Tommy sacrificing his discs in return. Wilbur ends up losing his country by way of being exiled when Schlatt wins office, and we watch his descent into madness as he realizes how much he cared for the country and how no matter what he does, what it once was is gone forever in his eyes. The Pogtopia arc originated with Wilbur trying to come up with a plan to secure his presidency again and to reclaim his country. It ends with Wilbur refusing his original role and ultimately destroying the very thing he created along with himself because he couldn’t bear to see what it or himself had become.
In Wilbur’s darkest moments we see them play out on screen, his button room is one of the most iconic scenes we got during this period of the storyline. Wilbur in an enclosed space, surrounded by the signs reminding him of what L’Manberg once was and what it would never be again. He's hounded by his thoughts, his mental state shattered and he no longer believes there's any other course of action.
Ultimately this is his final resting place, the room where he sets off the TNT that destroys L’Manberg for the first time. He begs his father, who had just arrived to the server because he was worried when Wilbur stopped sending him letters, to kill him. And Phil does.
L’Manberg’s story does not end here, despite what Wilbur did. It begins again, with Tubbo and a crater. We talk about Tubbo being president of L’Manberg as though he was just taking on the role and a nation the way Schlatt did, but in reality, he founded it again. Tubbo, along with Phil and others, REBUILT an entire city on the rubble of its former life. Tubbo’s L’Manberg is in fact nothing like Wilbur’s, except for the parts Tubbo purposely recreated, like the camar van.
The major difference in their takes on presidency is that Tubbo did this for Tommy, for Wilbur, for the original citizens. He took on the role of President out of duty to Wilbur who passed it down to him when he felt unfit to rule again. He did his best on behalf of everyone who fought on Pogtopia's side, to reclaim a nation they all had lost. In the end he lost it one final time, chunk errored by way of Phil, Techno, and Dream.
And from here on we see a new Tubbo. The bright-eyed, president-elect is no more, and instead he begins to isolate himself from the main server. He retreats to a snowy biome separated by water, and builds a house and gives it a name. Snowchester. Now, most people wouldn't give just a house a name. Even from the start Tubbo was creating a new community, without even realizing. Eventually Snowchester grew to be a legitimate colony of its own, with Jack Manifold, Foolish, and Puffy all moving in and setting up shop. He declares independence, and in doing so, decides he must ensure it any way possible. He's seen what happened to Wilbur's L'Manberg, how helpless the other man was in keeping it safe. He knows he failed his own L'Manberg, and he will not let it happen again.
He hatches a plan with Jack, and the answer is.... Nukes. A bomb, in other words. But instead of using it to destroy his nation, it'll be used to protect it. Tubbo designs it, and they ensure it works with a test launch before decommissioning the remaining two. Time passes and eventually, he's opening up to people again. Tubbo marries Ranboo and they adopt a child together.
Suddenly it's not just Tubbo, it's Tubbo and Ranboo, Tubbo and Michael, and then Tommy is gone. It's shocking, and unexpected, and he doesn't believe it at first. He's been so beaten down under Schlatt's regime he no longer openly shows his emotions, the closest we get to seeing his true grief during this time is when he stares at the memorial he just finished for Tommy in Snowchester. Then comes the anger.
He wants to know how this could've happened, he tries to investigate it, but before he can get too deep into it, Tommy's back. Revived, and Tubbo has had to experience losing him and gaining him back again twice now. Inevitably, like with most of Tommy's plans, Tubbo is roped into his next one. And it's a doozy. Tommy reveals that he wants to kill Dream, to ensure he can never revive anyone else, and Tubbo reluctantly accepts.
One of the most troubling moments during his investigative time was when he made a room for him to fill with his notes and evidence. At first glance it is deeply reminiscent of Wilbur's button room, the walls covered in signs and his lectern in the middle of the room mimicking the button. Because Tommy returns before he can get further in his investigating we'll likely never see this room again, but seeing him make it to begin with filled me with unease.
Tubbo has lost his fear of death. It's first noticed at Doomsday, when he defeatedly jumped in front of Techno's rocket launchers over and over again. We see inklings of it again and again, such as when he scoffs at his chat begging him not to investigate Techno for the TNT at the prison, saying he'd die. Tubbo just replies with "So be it." and continues on. We see it again when he and Ranboo investigate the Eggpire and get caught, and he continues to fight with them until he's only got a few hearts left. He mentions feeling exhilarated, full of life from almost losing his last. It's a reminder of the violent life he's had til this point, his time in the SMP filled with war and bloodshed since the very beginning. He's not afraid to fight despite being on his last life, in fact at times he seems almost ready to end it all.
Yesterday's lore stream was unsettling in a few different ways. The first being Tubbo casually mentioning how his eyes play tricks on him. It's a throwaway mention towards possible hallucinations or paranoia. He also refers to himself as paranoid later on when he's worried someone's hurt Michael, and it bothers him so bad that the next minute he rushes over to ensure Michael is safe. He is willing to do whatever he must now, to ensure Michael can grow up safely, much like Wilbur wanted for Fundy, with no Dream to terrorize the server any longer.
Wilbur's initial wish for L'Manberg once it was fully formed was for it to be a nation his son could grow up safely in, with all the possibilities at his fingertips, until their independence was threatened and he had to focus on leading an army instead of being a father.
But even more upsetting than that, is Tubbo's admission to how he designed the nuke. He tells Jack after one is stolen that there is a manual detonation option, a dead man's switch. He designed the bomb to have a suicidal solo detonation option as a last resort, so if he ever needed to use it and Jack wasn't there he could take matters into his own hands. Tubbo was so ready to ensure if something happened to his self-made colony he could deal his revenge even at the cost of his final life. His reasoning for making the nukes was not for self-defense, it was so he could finally take a swing back at whoever took from him again. He'd seen L'Manberg destroyed twice by people who initially sided with it, had 2 canon lives ripped from him by way of betrayals. He might not have thorns on his armor but by god will his death have them, and heaven help whoever is on the receiving end of his suicide-start nuke.
This mimics Wilbur's final steps but from the logical, more level-headed mind of Tubbo. He's created a bomb, a weapon of destruction he's willing to die with. Wilbur wanted to die with L'Manberg, Tubbo is willing to die for Snowchester.
#tubbo#wilbur#wilbur soot#c!wilbur#c!tubbo#meta#character analysis#trigger warning#tw#suicidal ideations#mentions of death#dream smp#vilbur#tommyinnit#ranboo#jack manifold
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Deeds For The Big Screen
I see writing as a form of creative artwork with everyone having its own liking or preference to it.
Do not interact if you are uncomfortable with any of the given warnings or if you are a minor.
Your media consumption is your own responsibility, proceed to read with care. Warnings have been up and mentioned, if I missed any please feel free to let me know.
Warnings: 18+, explicit sexual content, explicit language, sexwork, porn industry, vaginal fingering, unprotected sex, oral receiving (f), swearing
Rating: explicit
Pairing: Ari Levinson x Female Reader
Summary: You’re taking power into your hands when your actors don’t seem to do their job and are wasting expensive production time.
Word count: 3006
A/N: This might be a little rusty, I haven’t done this in a while, but some creators have inspired me to pick up writing again! Fairly new to Tumblr, despite having an account for years and having done zero with it. Apparently me dreaming about different story ideas has become a thing now. So bear with me here. As said; if I missed any warnings please feel free to let me know.
@punani ’s ‘The Fluffer’ was inspiration for the chosen work field. So thank you for writing that magnificent piece.
English is not my native language; my grammar mistakes are purely my own. Constructive criticism is allowed and appreciated, I won’t bite unless you’re being rude.
I do not consent to have my work copied, reposted or translated on any other platform. Reposts on any given platform have been reposted without my permission or consent. By reading this, you agree that you are at least 18 years old!!!
Please do feel free to comment, like or reblog.
ENJOY!!!
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Deeds For The Big Screen
Irritation bubbling underneath your annoyed expression, your lips tightly pressed together. Fingernails tapping aggressively on the armrests of your director’s chair. Your legs crossed, bouncing with frustration at the sight in front of you. It seemed liked the actors onsite were on a mission to make everyone’s life on set hell. Your hands grabbing the armrests your knuckles white from the intense grip of the edges of your chair.
You were a visionaire, adultery was your passion, you had been in the business for year before starting your own company. Focusing on the female friendlier porn demand had paid of well for you, your company was your pride and you thrived on the success. You ran a tight ship, time was money and currently both actors were wasting every second of it. The current creative project was not being envisioned at all. It had been meticulously drawn out on a storyboard, it seemed like everything that had been discussed and rehearsed was thrown out the window.
You let out an annoyed huff, it had been hours on end anything between action and cut. Your million-dollar superstar was propped on his elbows towering over the fragile body underneath him. His hips franticly pumping in and out of the actress underneath him, who was clawing her nails into his skin desperately. Was he really the problem or was it the useless woman caged underneath him. Her super loud moans that probably could be heard at the other side of the world and the quantity of clawing at his skin.
“CUT!!!” you yelled and everyone in the production stopped, heavy sighs heard across the studio. Your hands rubbed your face slightly not wanting to yell or lose control of the raging thoughts running through your mind.
“What’s wrong this time?” your most prized possession asked, the annoyance clearly dripping of his tone. He stood up facing you, his hands falling to his hips, sticking out his chest while his thick muscle stood proud against his pelvis. You couldn’t help but take in the sight, his cock was red and he was painfully hard. You licked your lips and took in a deep breath, trying to refocus on your thoughts.
“Alright let me make myself very clear here. The crew is TIRED and I am tired of fucking repeating myself” you took another deep breath as you felt anger rising “was I not clear enough when we had a table read yesterday and when we rehearsed this morning?” your eyes switching between the actors. No response “An answer would be nice, because that storyboard on the wall contains every movement of where body parts go during every fucking scene”
“Get the fuck out Y/N, you know storyboards only contains the major outlines of a grand story being told, it is different when you are pumping in and out of a body you know. You don’t always get to choose where a hand, leg or cock lands”
“Ari, we are in the god forsaken porn industry, that thick throbbing dick better end up in the fucking dripping vagina, between her lips or even in that nice and tight puckered hole” you could hear a few supressed snickers from the crew. Ari just kept staring you down “Right now all I see is stiffness, no passion, no fire and absolutely nothing that was on the fucking board or script”
“Whatever Y/N” Ari huffed, you rolled your eyes breaking the tension that was clearly building between you and Ari. You turned your gaze to Edie, who just sat there uncomfortably.
“Edie, can you just tone down on the moans, I know this is your first gig and a step up from the amateur adultery films you have done, but we are not in the cheap kind of porn. This is exclusive, sensual and soft sex. We make porn for the ladies and if it happens that men love it too so be it-” you clapped your hands together trying to get through to the actors in front of you “Also ease up on your facial expressions too they are just too much and stop clawing at Ari, we are not feral wolves in the outskirts of woodsy valley…” you pointed at her, the hostility evident in your voice, she just nodded your way she almost looked too scared to speak. Your attention turned to Ari, just by looking at him you knew he wouldn’t be able to take a lot more of your antics “-And for you mister, I need more open posture. We want to see those muscles work underneath that toned skin of yours. Flex them a little, you want the person watching this to drool from their mouths while their vaginas or arseholes are begging for your majestic cock. Yes, we can do this all rough and tough, but with this project we want fire, passion and mind-blowing sex. Understood?”
Both pornstars nodded your way and you sat back down in your chair. The actors taking their spots again, you raised your hand, cues being called across the room.
“ACTION!” Edie tried her utter best to contain her excessive sounds, but she looked like she was about to take a dump “CUT!”
“Y/N, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Ari yelled, jumping of the small platform, grabbing his robe from the floor, storming your way while putting on his robe, you got off your chair.
“Is it really that hard to do what I am asking? Edie you look like you are about to take a dump right in front of the camera” you lost control of the anger that had been boiling inside of you. Ari bumped into you, almost knocking you down, it must have been on purpose as you could sense his anger “where the fuck do you think you are going?” he spun on his heels
“I have been edged for hours on end, I need some form of release and it looks like our director is not going to let us get any release for a few more hours” Ari spat your way
“GET BACK HERE!!” you definitely lost control, watching Ari on a mission to march out of the studio “ARI I SAID GET BACK HERE”
“I AM NOT YOUR FUCKING A DOG!!!”
“YOU ARE MY FUCKING TOP DOLLAR DOG, SO YOU BETTER GET THE FUCK BACK BEFORE I FIRE YOU MYSELF” it was true, Ari was your million-dollar star, your company couldn’t have grown without him. He had been there from the beginning, you had him to thank for the success of your company and in return he had you to thank for his stardom.
Your words had made Ari stop in his tracks and turn around, the temperature in the room increasing quickly. You had started to doubt if the room had been that hot the entire time or if it was the arousal creeping through your veins caused by Ari’s deep angered gaze.
He charged your way his finger pointing at you and his mouth was moving, but your hearing seemed to have vanished. You contemplated if you should just show them what you meant or just call it a day. Things were getting heated and the crew was already exhausted enough. Your thoughts interrupted as your mouth started to speak.
“Do I really have to do everything around here?” you muttered under your breath “Edie get off the sunbed and put your robe on” she complied to your order, getting of the stage and putting on her silk robe. You took a moment to analyse your thought, to see if the voice inside your head would protest of what you were contemplating. Nothing came to mind, so instead you unbuttoned your sundress quickly before regretting your decision “Last attempt to film this guys, start rolling. Ari off with the robe, we start from the beginning. Edie take notes” you ordered around the room. Your sundress and underwear falling off your frame piling up next to your director’s chair.
“What are you doing baby girl?” Ari whispered in your ear as you walked backwards his hands holding your hips guiding you towards the double sunbed. His anger seemed to have disappeared and replaced with intrigue.
“Showing you what I want, but mostly taking what I need right now” you replied, he quirked an eyebrow, a smirk plastered on his face in approval “Let’s give them the show they want”
“The show you want” Ari chuckled as he corrected you, before narrowing his eyes a little “The big boss in action, I like it…” Ari whispered as he took in your naked body “I like it a lit” His confident spoken words made you a little insecure, but you hid it well trying to hold your nerves together.
You climbed on the sunbed laying back, your eyes wandered over Ari’s toned chest, his cock aching, your pussy throbbing. You licked your lips and the muscles in your core tightened with the exciting thought of him filling you up to the brim in a matter of minutes, you being at his complete mercy.
“ACTION!” you yelled
Ari crawled on top of you, your hands roamed freely over his arms and chest, his lips crashing on yours briefly before moving on to your neck and your upper torso. Your hands finding their way onto his shoulders, caressing the bare skin. You arched your back at the delight feeling when he sucked on your nipples, a low moan left your lips. Ari’s hands cradling your frame as he peppered kisses further south.
Your eyes following him, he looked back at you through his long lashes as two of his fingers tease your entrance, running gently through your folds. One thing was for sure, you were hot and bothered, all because of the eye candy encaging you in his porn play. He dipped two fingers in your aching core and pumped three times before they stilled inside you. His face coming up to meet yours, his eyes darkened and stole another passionate driven kiss.
His fingers starting pumping you faster earning a few unexpected deep moans. Your lips parting, your lust blown eyes were completely taken by the current moment. Your mind completely forgetting everything was being recorded. Ari’s fingers left your soaking cunt as he lowered his head and settled himself between your legs.
His mouth sucked your clit, you took in a sharp breath. His tongue firmly stroked downward on your slit, enough pressure for a controlled yet obscene moan to escape you. His tongue entered your dripping hole before returning his attention back to your clit. Ari’s fingers rejected as your vaginal muscle had tightened from the attention your clit was receiving. His mouth eased off and he pushed his fingers inside you, your cunt accepting, sucking them in.
The pleasure was almost too much, your hands caressing your upper body finding your breasts. With a feathered touch you rubbed your index fingers over your nipples, biting your bottom lip at the pleasure. Your touch made your nipples erect, the sensation spreading like wildfire through your entire body. Ari increased his pace and your moans and whimpers became more frequent, but in a more wanting and loving way.
Your back started to arch up and you were about to cum, when Ari stopped all his actions. Your eyes shot fully open to protest, but he shushed you by placing two of his fingers in your mouth allowing you a moment to taste yourself before retracting them. You watched him pump his hard cock with his hand, before he gripped your hips as his member slowly pushes down in your sopping cunt.
“Big enough for you princess” Ari grunted as he pushed fully into you.
“Y-Yes” the response was short and simple, your brain not functioning anymore when the pleasure had taken over from the thoughts. His tempo made your eyes roll backwards, your hips meeting his rhythm as he held a firm grasp on your hips helping and guiding you up and down on him. Without warning Ari stopped and flipped you over. A fistful of hair grabbed pulling you back, his grasp wasn’t harsh and only intensified your lustful awakening.
His left arm snaking around your waist finding your right boob, giving it a sinful squeeze, pinching your nipple between his fingers. He held your back close to his chest while his lips sucked pleasure marks on your neck and breathing heavily into your ear, whispering nothing but obscenities to you. Your arms lifted up and your hands fisted his hair, your fingernails scraping his scalp a little. He growled in your ear, you repeated your actions and he gave your hip a single firm squeeze.
His cock slowly being dragged in and out of you, your walls coating his thick veined cock. The squelching noises pulled from the juices being pulled from between your legs. Ari’s hands running freely over your skin setting it on fire. You felt fucked out and your orgasm was building rapidly.
Ari must have felt it as his hips started bucking up into you even faster, making is his mission to finish you. Your moans of sin becoming frequent again, Ari’s wandering hand slid in between your folds, rubbing your clit gently, pushing you even closer to the edge. One of your hands held onto his wrist holding it in the pleasurable place whilst the other placed on the nape of his neck, fingers gripping the hairs at the bottom.
Your orgasm washed over you as Ari let you ride out your high before pulling you off, laying you flat on the double sunbed. As you tried to calm your breathing he straddled you underneath him, pumping his member faster. The white strings of sin faltering out of his cock, you leaned up on your elbows and opened your mouth while he decorated your face and chest.
Licking your lips with his salty cum, you swallowed and stared back at Ari who seemed to enjoy the fucked out sight in front of him. When he had finished squirting his load on you, he cradled your head in his large hands, his thumbs running over your lips before leaning in to steal one last fiery kiss. You separated from the kiss and kept staring each other in the eyes for what felt like hours.
“Happy boss?” Ari questioned still holding your head gently as you nodded your head
“CUT!” you yelled, Ari climbed off of you and helped you up.
“WOW, that was amazing” Edie clapped being stunned by the scene that just had taken place.
“Thanks, hopefully a great lesson for you on what to do next time” you spoke, she smiled widely back at you when you walked towards your chair, picking up your clothes from the floor “Well done everyone, I think we all need a break and we’ll continue with fresh eyes tomorrow” a relieved cheer was heard “I’m off to have a shower, since I have become a Picasso art piece” you started walking towards the dressing room
“Worth millions” Ari spoke after you, you raised your middle finger at him without looking back at him. His loud laughter filled the room.
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You walked out of the building, rolling your eyes at Ari as he leaned against your car, one leg propped up on the tire, his arms folded and a cocky grin beaming back at you.
“There she is, my million dollar star” Ari clapped his hands before raising up his arms slightly and bowing down “I bless the ground you walk on peaches”
“Oh shut it Ari” you felt your cheeks burn, embarrassment bubbling underneath your skin. It was ridiculous, but you felt a little insecure “Hopefully good enough for what I want to get done” you continued walking towards the car, halting in front of Ari.
“Hopefully?” Ari raised an eyebrow “Peaches you were wonderful, you are in my top 3 ‘the best fucking sex I ever had’ so I guess for a retired pornstar you still possess your magic” you shoved him a little and his head fell back letting out a laugh “Don’t be embarrassed, I liked it a lot” his hands found their way on your waist pulling you into a hug, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
“Thank you Ari, but can you move out of the way, I want to go home, I am little worn out”
“Must be because of my majestic cock” he laughed
“Don’t flatter yourself, it doesn’t suit you” you giggled “Why are you still here, I thought you left a while ago”
“Couldn’t stay away from you peaches, since you performed so well today” Ari wiggled his eyebrows
“Had to show you guys somehow, you were costing me a fortune” you pointed out, opening the car door, tossing your bag on the backseat.
“Would it make a difference if it was done on purpose?” Ari questioned, climbing into the driver’s seat. Your mouth had fallen open from the shock and your brain scrambled for words and phrases to throw Ari’s way. You opened the door on the passenger’s side and got into the seat.
“Are you telling me you put on an entire show so you could get your dick wet on the clock?”
“Had to fuck the brat right out of you somehow” his cocky grin beamed back at you. You knew he was taunting you if it wasn’t for his sunglasses shielding his eyes “You have always been such a perfectionist, so I knew you would fall for my well thought out trap”
“Well next time ask me to eat a snickers instead” you rolled your eyes as Ari started the car.
“Might need another round of fucking the brat out of you peaches” Ari grabbed your hand, pulling the intertwined hold to his lips and placing a kiss on top. Your cheeks flushed with heat at the thought of how intense your fuck session had been and what kind of ways you both would fuck one another later.
YIKES, that was a true adventure!!!
#ari levinson#ari levinson x you#ari levinson x reader#ari levinson x female reader#ari levinson x y/n#ari levinson smut#ari levinson fic#chris evans smut
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I really liked Wilbur's lore stream from yesterday, so you guys are getting a short stream analysis from me
As always dialogue is color-coded: Wilbur, Tubbo, Ranboo
And since I'm the least concise person ever everything is under the cut
The stream is (DSMP LORE) A Year Later
The stream starts with Wilbur singing the L'Manburg anthem to Ranboo. It is interesting to notice that, just like all the streams since he's been back he doesn't start off the stream by addressing chat in any way but already taking with someone in-universe.
"I'm a big big fan of the song (...) (Wilbur notices that Ranboo was muted) so sorry, let's try again: have you heard that song before?" "Yeah I have, I have. I have- I've had a friend that sings it quite a lot" “Good, good, and I was gonna say, it’s obviously based on Hallelujah right? But the thing is, the thing is Ranboo, right? But the thing is- the thing is Ranboo, right? Is that the reason we did it is because Tommy used to sing Hallelujah to the plants" "Oh, to the plants?" "Yeah! In- in the- around the- around the uhm... around the thing! You know the- the caravan? (...) so, my man, Tommy used to sing to the plants to make them grow better and that was the song he used to sing and so I thought what a way to honour Tommy, you know, one of the most- one of the most loyal members or of our fair nation than by naming the song after him, you know? And singing it based on his little- his little Muse. Tommy is a- Tommy is all of our Muse really I'd say"
I cut as much of this quote as I could while still leaving it well understandable and leaving in everything I wanted to talk about, but man is it long... So let's break it down a bit at a time:
1) The friend that Ranboo referenced that sings the anthem a lot is most likely Tubbo considering that they met him later on in this stream while he was singing that very song
2) The memory of the song seems to still be a particularly pleasant one for Wilbur, which probably explains why Ghostbur as well was so fond of it. He speaks about it positively throughout and it generally seems like an overall positive moment of reminiscence, probably because it's a callback to a simpler time when Wilbur too was, you know, happier overall. It's a reminder of a time before the worsening of his spiral.
3) Also interesting that they kept it in canon that Tommy singing to the plants was what inspired the anthem. Especially because I'm not entirely sure if that's the case considering that the actual anthem wasn't written by cc!Wilbur but by a fan upon his request (obviously this is outside the story).
4) Last thing I wanted to mention was Wilbur describing Tommy as a Muse. Muses in mythology are the inspirational goddesses of the arts, music, and science, Tommy aside from the anthem obviously isn't that. But it is interesting that Tommy does take a central role when it comes to motivating people. We could say that Techno's speech on the 16th was inspired by him since it was directed at him. Similarly, Niki and Jack had their arcs revolving around him. Tommy was able to rally the troops with ease multiple times. And Dream's obsession with him itself is the main motivator for, like, 90% of his actions. So, while he may not cover the role of a muse literally it's not a comparison that is too far off...
They headed to the museum afterward and took notice of the Ranboo poster being missing. And then they headed off to L'Manburg (which, by the way, looks amazing, thank you cc!Phil for that one).
"It goes by L'Manhole now apparently" "I- yeah it's kinda- ugh- I'm not a fan. It's kinda rude to L'Manburg's history, you know? It- it's called L'Manburg. It's called L'Manburg. NOT Manberg, not L'Crater or whatever. L'Manhole, I don't care, it's now L'Manburg, it's always L'Manburg, okay?"
It's interesting that not too long ago he was saying that even L'Manburg itself (with an emphasis on the name) wasn't what was actually important, the purpose of it was. He admits later on that he lied in that conversation, but it's impressive how quickly he trusted Ranboo enough to let him see how much he still cared about L'Manburg when he was so intent on lying about it not too long ago.
Wilbur's enthusiasm about seeing the flag is another nice confirmation about him still caring deeply for his old nation.
"Damn, I really went down to bedrock, didn't I? Holy shit I did- I did a number on this place" (I wonder why Ranboo didn't correct him on this, because Ranboo knows that Techno, Phil, and Dream are the ones who actually exploded the country down to bedrock...)
They end up seeing Tubbo on the other side of the crater and head over to him. While they're heading there Tubbo is singing the anthem himself in a very mournful tone.
One interesting thing that I noticed it's that it's Wilbur that heads towards Tubbo's location instead of having Tubbo go to him like he mostly did with Tommy for example. I suppose it could be because Tubbo having been a president himself is in less of a subordinate position to Wilbur than Tommy who's always been a simple soldier.
"It's like looking in a little mirror, look you're wearing my suit still? How long have you been wearing that?" "Oh I just put it on, just for today" (in a similar fashion to Jack bringing out the L'Manburg uniform to reminisce, Tubbo also brought out clothes he strongly attaches the memory of L'Manburg to)
"Ranboo have you met Tubbo?" "Yeah, yeah. I've- I've met him, I mean we've, uhm... we've been around" (Ranboo still minimizing his relationship with Tubbo to Wilbur. Of course, this is because he doesn't trust him but it's interesting that he isn't even honest about that)
After a bit of back and forth, Wilbur starts apologizing to Tubbo. At first, like most other times he's having a serious discussion he puts himself in an elevated position to tower over Tubbo. It's a neat way to show how his own desire for control affects him, having Wilbur literally elevate himself over others when speaking to them. Literally putting Tubbo down in this situation. Which does make the beginning of his apology very obviously feel insincere.
"I'm sorry for making you president specifically before blowing it up and I'm sorry for when I did this *pointing at the crater* and blew all this up and making this whole. I'm sorry that I uh- that I said that you were the president of a crater"
This is that first part of the apology I mentioned. Just to clarify, I don't actually think that it was entirely insincere. It just feels less impactful due to Wilbur putting himself in a position of superiority over Tubbo, especially because it's something we've seen him do before. It's also to be noted that this time, like others before, he seems to be apologizing less out of actual guilt and more out of a desire to earn forgiveness. Which is not a critique by the way. I just feel like that's a misconception Wilbur has, that apologies serve the purpose of confirming to him that he's doing a good job at changing more than to actually make amends for what he's done. The reason why I think that's the case for the beginning part of this apology as well it's because of how fast he went to ask tubbo if he forgave him, which did put a certain level of pressure on Tubbo in this situation.
"I mean it wasn't- this wasn't all you Wilbur" (thank you tubbo for finally dispelling some of those misunderstandings)
"Yeah so me and mainly Ghostbur honestly, like-" "Ghostbur" (some more of Wilbur not being too fond of Ghostbur)
"Right is he [Ghostbur] this obsidian crap then I take it and these- these fucking dumb lanterns up here" (a bit more)
To correct Wilbur's misconceptions Tubbo starts off asking if the other knew Dream, to which Wilbur responds with how much he appreciates Dream and how he's his hero, which makes Tubbo backtrack and blames most of Doomsday on Techno and Phil. Which, as we know, isn't actually accurate and I have a feeling that this misinformation will be harmful later on once Dream is out of prison (though I don't blame Tubbo for backtracking with how enthusiastic Wilbur is, that was the basic conflict-avoidant approach that Tubbo seems to prefer).
"They rained tnt for days" (if this is actually canon then Doomsday was even more of a tragedy than we previously saw it as. It was days filled with fighting and destruction. Then again, Tubbo has misremembered traumatizing events before)
"Techno and Phil, they hated the government. I mean it was partially my fault as well" "But you didn't blow it up" "No I didn't. I would never have wished or anything like this to happen" "So it was just Techno and Phil?" *long pause* "Y-yeees"
Two things to say here:
1) I appreciate someone in canon recognizing that it's not Tubbo's fault for what happened to L'Manburg and blaming the people who actually blew it up, similarly to how I appreciate Wilbur bringing up with Tommy that it was clearly Dream pulling the strings with his exile with Tubbo. It's nice having it stated plainly for people to hear
2) This is the misconception I mentioned. This is most certainly gonna backfire at some point.
After that Wilbur commends Tubbo quite a lot for rebuilding New L'Manburg (once again being dismissive towards Ghostbur) and is clearly enthusiastic about it, even going as far as to say that that mattered more to him than them building him a grave.
"I just, I feel lost without L'Manburg. All my core beliefs, everything died with it" "You feel lost without a nation..." "I have no purpose anymore" "I guess that's where anarchy fails" (I think this may be the first time someone admits it to someone else, even though that lack of purpose and feeling disoriented is very obviously a shared sentiment amongst the ex-citizens)
After that, it's when Wilbur invites Tubbo to join Paradise, the, supposedly burger van with a small house attached to it that wasn't supposed to become a nation. I have a feeling that the proposition coming right after that exchange may imply that Wilbur changed his mind on it. He does purposefully put himself again in an elevated position when making the proposition.
"Would you like to come join me in Paradise? Literally" "Hmmm, I'm not sure Wilbur. I'm not sure I trust you man, I need to- in order to follow someone I need to trust them" "Wait, wait but you- I thought you forgave me! I thought it was, you know it-" "Wilbur I forgive you because I like to hang on to the hope that people can change, but-"
This is what I mean when I say that Wilbur's apologies come with expectations for the person he's apologizing to. By asking Tubbo first if he forgave him when he originally apologized, he already made it harder for Tubbo to refute that. And now we learn that he expected trust to come along with forgiveness. He's not doing this maliciously of course, but he does seem to have some misconceptions on this.
"I know you had that- that at the festival? With Technoblade? I never spoke to you properly about this. I- I could have saved you" "But you didn't" (other people brought this up, but this is a neat little parallel to the one scene in exile where Ranboo was lamenting about how he should have gone with Tommy and Tommy shut him down pointing out that anyone could have gone but no one actually did)
There is a second round of apologies and Wilbur is still standing higher than Tubbo, BUT he does put himself on his same level after he did a bit more pushing and found that Tubbo was standing his ground. He finally puts himself on the same level as Tubbo and openly acknowledges his boundaries which is the first actual real effort to change that we've seen from Wilbur. Which I'd say is a pretty important step for him.
"Wilbur in order for you to gain my trust back you have to prove it, I can't just give it out anymore. I used to be able to but I just- I just can't" (acknowledgement of how Tubbo's trauma also affected him deeply)
"You know I still have dreams, right? Of the explosion. And- and of the fireworks. And- and all of it. I- I still- I vividly see all of it. Every day. It hurts. It hurts a lot Wilbur"
I want to commend Tubbo here for being able to open up like this, especially considering how much he generally leans into denial and how much he usually suppress. And on top of that this is Tubbo acknowledging that both Wilbur's actions (the explosion) and Techno's actions (the fireworks) have hurt him and STILL hurt him and affect him deeply. It's quite a big admission especially for him.
"Sorry feels like such a weak word. I feel like there's nothing stronger that I can say" (first time that he's standing on the same level of Tubbo while apologizing)
"You're so strong man. Genuinely. You just- just the fact that you proved to me just there that you have this memories, that you have this nightmares and you still find it in your heart to forgive me. That's... you're a fucking champion man. You- you're a hero"
It's interesting that the reason why he claims Tubbo to be strong here is because he forgave him. It's not something that's inherently about Tubbo, like the fact that he still found the strength to go on and rebuild after the events he mentioned, for example, no. What Wilbur brought up is the one thing that Tubbo did for him. Which tells me that he still clearly has a bit of way to go to learn how to make amends and how redemption actually works, but, you know, that's to be expected honestly.
Wilbur moves on by inviting Tubbo to at least come and see Paradise, just to see what they'd made and Tubbo refuses because he wanted to spend more time reminiscing. Wilbur this time respect Tubbo's boundaries with no pushing which is yet another step forward for him honestly. Wilbur also gives Tubbo a "lucky rabbit's foot" that Tommy gave him to cheer him up and assure him that he had no problems with him not going.
With this their conversation comes to a close and Wilbur and Ranboo head over to Paradise (though not before Ranboo has confirmed with Tubbo that he actually does want to be left alone).
"You know I was gonna say 'this is hard' but obviously it's hard. I mean, you know, I've..." (a bit of reflection on his actions for Wilbur, you love to see it!)
"It's gonna get better! It's gonna get better! And it's gonna be worth it when I see them smiling. All of them. Tubbo, Jack, Niki, Tommy, anyone!" (I'm pretty sure that this is a genuine sentiment right here. It really does seem that wilbur's Big Plan right now is just to make amends and change)
"Do you know who the original L'Manburg group were? Do you know who we were?" "I- I think most of them yeah... I think it was like: you, Jack, Niki, Fundy I believe as well" "Fundy was a bit after. Fundy was after we'd gotten independence"
I wonder if that's an actual misrememberance on Wilbur's part (c!Wilbur, not cc!Wilbur, I'm sure cc!Wilbur remembers this) or just him wanting to put some distance between his good memories of L'Manburg and Fundy. Because Jack and Niki weren't there for the independence war either and yet he singled out Fundy who was. And I doubt that he'd forget about his son being one of the people who lost their first life in the final control room. In addition to that Wilbur didn't mention Fundy before among those he wanted to make smile.
I really think that this was intentional and that it was because, well, Wilbur felt deeply betrayed by Fundy. And we as the audience know that Fundy only ever publicly stopped acknowledging him as his father to be able to stay undercover as a spy, but he doesn't. It wouldn't be so weird that he wanted to erase Fundy from his memories of the time when he was supposed to be happy.
"I try and keep this on the low because I don't want uh- I don't want people to use it against me is the main problem. I do wa- I didn't even tell Tommy, I lied to Tommy" "Yeah?" "I'll be honest I'm gonna tell him soon that I lied to him because if it- it kinda eats away at me. But I told- I told tommy that I didn't actually care about L'Manburg and that it was just like a tool for me to use to gain, you know, power and stuff, but it's not- it's not true. L'Manburg is- was really important to me. And it is still to this day"
Once again I'm surprised how little it took Wilbur to trust Ranboo with stuff he hasn't really told anyone else. Makes you really understand how low of an opinion of himself he has that when the first person that calls him "alright" out loud just gets his undying trust. Especially considering that Ranboo doesn't trust him back and hasn't been the most honset with him so far. It's also a nice spelled out admission for anyone who didn't get how much Wilbur cares about L'Manburg from the longing look he gave to the camaravan's replica in the stream where he said he never cared.
"I wanted history to live on, not as a stain caused by me, you know. I basically took a big shit on the history books it feels like" (just another interesting little insight on Wilbur's view of the situation)
"I've heard about what's Tommy's, you know, moved on... and how jack's moved on, and how Niki's moved on and everyone's moved on from L'Manburg at least partially, but Tubbo man, he's still..." (he only thinks the rest of them moved on because he hasn't spoken almost at all with two of them and he never really listened to Tommy. Also, again, Fundy is not mentioned)
"I don't know where I'd be without you [Ranboo] here right now man, I mean T-Tommy's great and all and he's here but I- I feel like, you know, I don't wanna- I don't wanna string him along too much because he's- I- when I look at him. When I look at him when he's helping me out building things with me I see the same eyes that looked at me when... when... There were some- there weren't some fun times in the ravine of Pogtopia. I wasn't a very well man and I can just see Tommy from that day"
This one was one heck of a confession!
I don't know if this is me misremembering, but I'm fairly sure that this is the first time he's admitted to not being great to Tommy specifically. Again, Tommy is the one person he met with so far that he hasn't apologized to. Heck! He told Tommy to his face that him being sorry for his actions didn't mean he wouldn't do them again. It's a pretty damn big admission to acknowledge that that behaviour (which is the same now, if not worse when only related to Tommy) wasn't good. It also shows that he's at least a bit aware of Tommy's emotions which is rarely shown honestly. Though whether he cares because of Tommy or because being around Tommy makes him feel guilty (which is what you'd expect him to feel) and he doesn't like that is to be determined still, mostly just because the phrasing was a bit uncertain at the moment.
"I know what it's like to have no one- or at least feel like no one trusts you. Uhm, and I- I've realized that if- if no one's with you then how can anyone really know when you've redeemed yourself? So that's why I'm here I guess" (Ranboo's answer to why he trusts Wilbur. Which he doesn't, but still)
And the stream ends with Wilbur saying he hopes Tubbo comes around to try out one of the burgers (though he does repeat that he doesn't want Ranboo to pressure him to join) and complimenting Ranboo a bit more.
#dream smp#wilbur soot#ranboo#tubbo#c!wilbur#c!ranboo#c!tubbo#character analysis#dream smp analysis#long post#I said it would be short and I most definitely lied#but you guys should know that I'm not capable of brevity by now#so honestly it's on you if you believed the title
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Hi :) Have u read Volume 34's official translation? I was just reading the part where Levi's talking to his fallen comrades and sth struck me. So in the original translation he says "When you all dedicated your hearts, was it to trample on the lives of others?" And in the following he goes "No. The dream *you* all had, of a world without titans, that was an exhaustingly idealistic world"
So in the previous translation Levi apparently said "when *we* dreamed of a world without titans" and was referring to himself evidently as one of those dreamers too. So what do you think this alteration changes about *his own* ideals and goal in following the same path as his friends in the SC? What could this mean for his character when he's excluding himself of owning such ideals? We all know part of the reason Levi joined the SC - other than saving humanity - was to breathe a fresh air outside the walls. He said many times he wanted to rid the world of titans so humanity could be free but does this right here add new information to our knowledge? Sorry for the long ask and thank you in advance!
Hi!!
This was supposed to be short but ended up almost like a whole meta lmao sorry
Well, we're in the same boat regarding what the new ENG translation means (I was wondering about it yesterday).
I know some other old Japanese volumes of snk had a few sentences rewritten in the final physical version (i.e; Reiner during his fight with Eren in chapters 118-120, and the "unrequited love" kanji too). But since the release in Japan was months ago, and no one mentioned changes in Levi's speech, I assume the "we" continued in the original up to these days (someone correct me if I'm wrong, please).
Thus, until it's proved that Yams himself changed the kanji to "all of you" or similar, I think it's wiser to stick to what Yams himself had written. He wrote "oretachi", then it's "we" - with Levi included. And based on our experience with the mixed translations confusions, we know by now how things get tangled up in the official translations. Which is a pity, imo.
So what do you think this alteration changes about *his own* ideals and goal in following the same path as his friends in the SC? What could this mean for his character when he's excluding himself of owning such ideals?
I'm sticking to the first official translations + the Japanese version, so nothing changes in my view. But for readers non-aware of the issue, I think this might solidify a bit of a borderline issue about what Levi's goals were regarding his overall purpose in joining the Survey Corps and fighting.
Like, most people already mistakenly think that Levi was 1) just fighting the whole time for Erwin [as his "vassal"], 2) to avenge Erwin's and SC soldiers' death, 3) to kill Zeke, 4) was Ackerbonded with Erwin in a way that made him lost his life's purpose when his "liege" died. So, imo, the way the new translation makes Levi exclude himself from fighting for the dream of one day humanity living free from the terror of Titans will suggest (or hint) more that Levi was like a tool fighting more for the sake of the dead rather than the living - and worse, because he didn't believe in what his comrades were fighting for.
Idk if I can explain it properly, but in other words, it's like this new translation makes Levi skeptical of the reason why all his comrades were fighting for, like, almost as if he was distancing himself/ looking down on their "naive hopes for a better future" without including himself in the same hopeful boat?! And I think Yams didn't mean it like that but rather that they (Levi included) were ALL together in the bloody fight and life of sacrifice and devoted hearts because they hoped one day that hellish struggle against the nearly impossible would result in something hopeful too?!
Also, of course, we know Levi's post-RtS narrative has a clear focus on giving meaning to fallen comrades' deaths (and there is nothing wrong with it). But this moment right here in chapter 136 seems a clear recall of the main goal of the Survey Corps as a whole (and also Levi's). The chapter title is "Devote your hearts" or "Dedicate your hearts", and the chapter is an answer to all the terror we saw happening in chapter 134, and chapter 135 - where the Marleyan Commander asked, "What do you think those people are fighting for?" And the SC's goal was primarily Humanity's freedom. So I think it's a misstep of the official translation to take Levi out of this shared dream since Yams himself purposely included Levi in it.
Additionally, while it's actually arguable that the word "dream" hold different weights for everyone individually, as each character has their own particular wish - dream - life goal regarding WHY they joined the SC, and WHY they were fighting Eren now at the cost of their lives, I think it's quite clear that together, in the collective sense, everyone just wanted to see a world where people would live with some dignity and free of constant fear of Titans. In other words, "To put an end to their recurring nightmare", as Levi explains with his own words in chapter 56. Unless, again, we're dealing with translation mistakes.
We all know part of the reason Levi joined the SC - other than saving humanity - was to breathe a fresh air outside the walls. He said many times he wanted to rid the world of titans so humanity could be free but does this right here add new information to our knowledge?
This passage of Levi you mentioned is one of the most significant and yet (and sadly) one of the most brushed off pieces of his narrative.
I really feel like the weight of his words here is real, and he meant it... (I also have a more personal and philosophical take on what Yams might have intended to imply here, but it's long and relates to the Yeager brothers take on life and freedom so let's skip it for now)
"I finally saw what I'd been missing"
Interestingly, just like Hanji’s personal reason to join the SC is more directly revealed in a close-up interview, Levi restated in a close up that he joined the SC after also realizing that he had various reasons to follow Erwin and for join the SC:
"The feeling of the wind when we’re going beyond the walls… it’s different from the wind in the Underground or even the wind inside the wall, and it’s quite alluring."
Now, I know Levi is the most selfless character of AOT and he never did something with the intention of particularly being benefited/fulfilled in the way Erwin, Armin, Kenny, and other people did. But remembering that Levi wanted freedom doesn't mean Levi is any less selfless than he is, nor that he had a dream to give up or wanted something selfishly for himself. In fact, there is nothing that makes it denigrating or less of Levi's devotion to humanity in him wanting the freedom outside the Walls.
It's even more relevant to remember that at the time Levi got the chance to breathe the air outside the Walls he was literally riding in the unknown world outside of Wall Maria - where barely no man was capable of wandering out and coming back alive. So it wasn't a matter of Levi simply getting out of the Underground and retaking the land humanity lost to the Titans, but Levi really realizing there was more to life out there and him wanting to know the opportunities hidden in the freedom that the Titans had stolen from humanity (at that time, Paradis). It's a very credible and worthy reason to join the "SC Dreamer Bunch", together with his sense that he had the power (and responsibility) to help humanity achieve freedom and that - looking up to this ideal from Erwin - he could make this his life mission.
So to me, these are some of the many layers of his character that help people to feel closer to him irl, and to be more empathetic to his battles and plight. And I think that WIT did a terrible thing in presenting Levi without showing these parts of him because most people know Levi by the anime characterization. It's really a disservice to his character.
And now, with the official translation that had been already putting Levi under a stronger "I live to get revenge for monkey's deed" light, I think this final official translation does another disservice to Levi too. Also, there are more problems with the other sentences in this monologue that I feel it has mixed up what Yams also intended to show especially regarding Levi's close-up on Hanji and Erwin...
Man - I wish I was fluent in Japanese lmao
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Happy Valentine’s Day @m3owww! Hope you enjoy it Phi!
Thanks to @eat0crow for organizing this exchange and Panda for helping me with the title!
Yes, I know I went overboard...
--
AO3
Marinette remembered the first time she got something from her soulmate.
It was a battery, or so she found out when she showed it to her parents.
“Maman, what’s this?” She asked her mother as she showed her the black box-like battery.
“Where did you get this?” Sabine asked, taking it and examining, wondering where her 10 year old daughter got it. After all, she didn’t recall them buying it.
“I didn’t get it from anywhere. It just...appeared on my desk.” Marinette explained, watching as Sabine showed the box to her father.
“This looks like a camera battery.” Tom gave the battery back to Marinette, then looked at Sabine, watching as she connected the dots. “Seems like your soulmate might be into photography.”
“Soulmate?” Marinette asked, staring at the battery.
Soulmates. Only five percent of the world’s population had one or rather, the ability to find theirs. They came in various forms and at different ages, so it was always hard to know if you had a soulmate link, bond or mark.
As for the Dupain-Chengs, it seems like Tom and Sabine belonged to that five percent. Sabine and Tom found out they had soulmates when they met at a flea market in Paris. The two had noticed that the timer ticking on their wrist was edging closer to 0, causing them to panic. For the two believed that it was a timer that marked the death of their soulmate.
As the two dashed to find a place to possibly cry at, the two crashed into each other, Tom catching Sabine by her wrist to prevent her from falling. As the two apologized, it was then that they found out that they were soulmates and that the timer was counting down to when they were going to meet. Upon realizing this, they both began to laugh.
Marinette asked them why her soulmate link wasn’t like theirs, Sabine explaining that each soulmate pair had a different bond. As for Marinette, it seemed to be a lost and found link.
If either of them lost anything, say a pencil, then the other will find it.
Sabine noticed that Marinette seemed skeptical of it.
“Try throwing out the battery out the window.”
“What? No!”
“Trust me.” And so Marinette did, after preparing herself for 10 minutes. When she went outside to look for it, it was gone.
Seeing as it was true, Marinette began to purposely lose items frequently, hoping that her soulmate would get the message that she knew about him. That she was eager to meet him. But despite her hard efforts, her items never went over to her soulmate, the items landing or staying in the spot Marinette had thrown at.
Because of this, whenever Marinette would try and show her friends her bond, they half-believed her. Only one straight up thought she made up the story to get attention: Chloe.
But then again, Chloe didn’t like anyone, so Marinette kept telling her friends of her various attempts, eagerly telling them how she couldn’t wait to meet them.
--
Soulmates…as much as Tim wanted to ask his parents about it, he chose not to.
Tim looked at the tiny medallion in his hand, his fingers running over the three letters engraved on it, quickly putting it away when he heard his mother’s footsteps, quickly burying himself into his homework, pretending to flip between pages when he heard the doorknob of his room turn.
Janet walked in, Tim pretending to figure out a calculation out, quickly scribbling some nonsense onto his paper.
“I see that you’re working hard.”
“Mr.Sommers said that the next exam will cover factorization, so I thought I would do a few for practice.” Tim easily lied, adding a final number before looking up to acknowledge his mother.
She had that look again. “How long would you be out for this trip?” Janet jumped a bit. “You talked about it with Mrs.Romanov just yesterday, when you found her at the bookstore to buy some books for the flight. When we were at the storefront, remember?”
Another lie. Yes, his mother had gone to the bookstore with Tim, but the thing was that Janet had sent Tim off while she told Mrs.Romanov about her next exertion. How she told Mrs.Romanov if she knew of any nannies to take care of Tim while she was going to be out for the next two months.
Despite knowing Tim was capable of maintaining himself, she didn’t want the school to bother her again for not leaving him behind with adult supervision. It was starting to get on her nerves.
“Oh that’s right. How did I forget?” His mother recalled, not once doubting his retelling. “We’re excavating in Riqqeh, Egypt for a month.” Tim watched as his mother let out a sigh. “Probably more cemeteries, but then again, you never know until you dig.”
“I see.” Tim said, burying himself back into his homework. “Hope you find something more interesting than skeletons then.”
“I promise to bring back a souvenir, okay?” His mother walked to him, placing a cold kiss on his forehead, Tim noticing his father’s name etched on her collar bone. “Make sure to go straight to sleep after you finish that page, understood?” A nod. “Good night, Timothy.”
“Good night.” He simply said back, watching as she closed the door.
Taking out the medallion, Tim stared at it.
He had a soulmate somewhere out there...a soulmate he dreaded to meet...and yet hoped that perhaps they wouldn’t end up like his parents…
Tim opened a secret compartment in his pencil case and placed the medallion there, thinking about it until he went to sleep.
—
Soulmates. Everyone is always eager to meet them, but no one ever tells you how to keep that same enthusiasm after you meet them…
Tim’s parents met when Janet had tagged along with one of her friend’s excavation trips, meeting Jack in Berlin.
The minute the two saw each other, their world turned more colorful, the two becoming infatuated with one other when they found out they were soulmates. After showing each other’s names etched onto their collarbones, the two quickly planned their marriage.
Marrying in Gotham was a dream come true for Janet...but that dream lasted a mere months before the world went back to being its bland self. With each having their own dreams, careers and goals, Janet and Jack started to stray from each other. Meetings and trips took time away from one another. And the time they would see each other, they would simply talk about work, work and nothing else. Not even a single ‘want to take a break?’ or ‘how about we go out for dinner tonight?’
It was like being at another board meeting, being professional with each other.
They only drew close to one another when Janet found out she was pregnant with Timothy, Jack taking some time off work to make sure Janet had various maids checking on her before returning back to work.
On the day Timothy was to be born, Jack was there, holding Janet’s handing during the delivery. He held his son once before handing him over to Janet and leaving, mentioning about having to go back to work.
Jack would then go on to see Timothy at home, being lulled to sleep by the handmaid, telling Jack of Janet’s meeting with the board about an upcoming visit to Mexico.
There were few times Tim actually remembered going out as a family and while from the outside it looked like any other family outing, Tim knew why they were out in the first place: rumors.
“Have you heard? Drake’s little boy was seen walking home by himself! What parent lets their child go home by themselves? ”
“Timothy? But he’s only six!”
“Heard they plan on sending him to a boarding school. Poor thing.”
While the family outings were influenced by rumors, Tim found joy in them because it was the few times he was able to go to places he had desired to go before. Like the circus....even if that one ended in a tragedy.
But even good things had to come to an end. Years went by and Timothy grew to be very independent. That was when all the maids and servants were shooed off, leaving Tim all alone.
It didn’t help that they did indeed end up sending him to boarding school.
But Tim managed to get used to being alone, and has been for the past two years.
--
Years passed and Marinette no longer kept trying to lose her items. Despite her various attempts, she couldn’t manage to send them over to her soulmate, finding it disheartening it.
But as of these days, Marinette didn’t have the time to try it again. Or rather, she could no longer afford to lose her belongings or let them out of her sight.
While she had gotten used to getting her things taken away from her thanks to her friends borrowing them or Chloe playing a “prank” on her, getting bullied by two people at the same time was starting to take a toll on her and the brand she was trying to set for herself at the age of 15.
If she dared to let her eyes wander, then they would either fall into the hands of Chloe or of Lila’s. When Lila transferred to Dupont, Marinette didn’t honestly care about her lying, after all, they were nothing but white lies. So she never bothered to actually make friends with the girl. But even with the lack of communication, Marinette apparently did something to Lila because one day she was cornered in the bathroom and was threatened.
Marinette was kind but she knew when enough was enough.
“I would like to see you try.” She practically spat into Lila’s face before leaving the bathroom those weeks ago.
So here she was, being bullied by both her bully since l'école primaire and her new found one in lycee.
But between the two, Marinette preferred her personal things end up in Chloe’s hands than Lila’s. Chloe at least gave them back, but Lila? They never returned in one piece or even worse, they didn’t come back at all.
“Marinette? Where is your-”
“Mme Bustier...I promise you I did do it. I had it.” Marinette stabilized her voice from erupting into panic as she failed to find her assignment that she swore she had in her bag. “You can even ask Alya. She saw it.”
“That’s true Mme Bustier!” Alya quickly defended, although she wondered what happened to the paper as she saw Marinette safely tuck it away. Yes, Marinette could be clumsy, but unorganized and scattered brain? That she was not. She was meticulous, precise and always punctual. So how did that paper leave its place?
“Regardless, it’s not in my hands.” Mme Bustier sighed. “You’ll have to stay after class.” That caused Marinette to panic. She couldn’t afford to stay after school. She had a meeting with a client as soon as school ended.
“But Mme Bustier!”
“I’m sorry Marinette, but-”
“I can’t afford to stay after class! I have a very important-”
“Marinette.” Mme Bustier sternly stated. “Rules are rules. You’ll have to come after school, whether you have a very important appointment or not.”
Marinette managed to not scream as the bell rang, watching as everyone filed out, Alya lingering behind.
“Marinette, I could-” she shook her head.
“Alya, I’ll be alright.” She gave her friend a sheepish smile. “And go on without me. Perhaps my client will understand when I explain it to them via text.” Despite Marinette’s reassurance, Alya nodded and left the classroom hesitantly.
Bracing herself for her punishment, Mme Bustier got a phone call from the main office, looking at Marinette and turning her attention back to the phone. With a few ‘oui’ and ‘be right there,’ Bustier turned to Marinette.
“They need me for a few minutes downstairs, but that doesn’t mean you are free to go. Stay here while I check what they need from me.” Mme Bustier ordered, Marinette burying her face into her hands as she slammed herself into her desk.
She lifted her head once again, sending a quick text to her client about running late. Once that was over, Marinette took out her sketchbook to look over her designs, taking out a red pen to add some additional revisions.
She didn’t know how long she had been like that, but the moment she heard the door open, her head snapped upwards, a frown on her face when she saw Lila and not Mme Bustier.
“What do you want?”
“Nothing much.” Lila said, dragging her fingers on the desk Marinette sat at. “Just this!” She exclaimed, snatching the sketchbook from under Marinette’s hand.
“Give it back!” Marinette screamed, quickly chasing after Lila around the class.
“Oh come one Marinette! I just want to-”
“They’re very important commision designs for a client-” Marinette attempted to reason, almost grabbing it back from Lila.
“Is that so?” Lila hummed, quickly opening the sketchbook and looking at the designs. “Wow. You weren’t kidding!” A grin made its way to her face. “It’d be too bad if something bad happened to it.”
Marinette’s eyes widened and the next thing she knew, she had managed to grab the sketchbook from Lila.
“There’s no way in hell I would let you.” Marinette said in a low voice.
“Oh? Then let’s see you try!” Lila yelled, attempting to grab the sketchbook from Marinette.
The two waltzed away from one another as Marinette kept her sketchbook away from Lila’s grasp. The two were on each other’s toes until Marinette had to run around the classroom, having to knock over Mme Bustier’s chair to keep Lila away from her when she got too close to comfort.
“Come on Marinette! I just want to see-”
“No way in hell Lila!” Marinette screamed, feeling as Lila dug her nails into her shoulder when she ended up cornering her by the windows, Marinette trying her best to not wince at the pain.
The two girls kept clawing at one another until Marinette couldn’t keep Lila at bay anymore, trying to find a way to keep her sketchbook safe from Lila. As Lila kept pushing her, Marinette’s hand hit the window, almost knocking down the metal rod that was used to pull down the shades. That’s when it hit her.
Taking in a deep breath, Marinette kicked Lila away from her, ingraining Lila’s expression of surprise into her memory. As Lila goy up and charged to grab the designer’s sketchbook, Marinette flung it behind her head, silently praying for its safety.
After all, everytime she had tried to lose an item, it never worked. But this time, just this one time, she hoped it would work.
Meanwhile, Lila watched as the sketchbook flew out the window, watching as it fell down to the ground, only to disappear before it hit the grass outside.
Lila stepped back, her eyes darting from the missing book to the panting Marinette who glared at her with daggers for eyes.
“Not this time Lila. Not this time.” The classroom door opened, causing both girls to look at the doorway.
“What is going on here?” Mme Mendeleiev practically shouted, causing Lila to lose all color in her face.
Crap.
—
Tim watched as his English teacher started to walk down the desk aisle, watching as he started to collect their writing assignment assigned yesterday. Seeing as he was drawing near, Tim reached into his bag, when he felt an unfamiliar texture brush against his knuckles. Peering into his bag, he noticed a leather book with a red strap securing it.
Deciding to check it out later, Tim took out his assignment and handed it in, watching as Mr.Hughes simply nodded as he took it, walking down the other row of desks to take the assignment.
As class progressed, his mind drifted to one thing: the book. Tim pondered at how the leather book had gotten into his bag and who it belonged to.
Was it from someone in his class? Was it part of a prank?
He was snapped from his thoughts once the bell rang, signaling everyone that it was lunch.
Tim scurried to the school’s library, heading up to the second floor and turning a right to where his favorite spot welcomed him. A lone desk at the corner, next to a radiator that warmed him in the winter and a wonderful view of the campus as well.
Ever since the death of his mother around a year ago, Tim was able to convince his father to pull him out of boarding school and to transfer him to Gotham Academy. He told him how it was less costly and better yet, closer to home. He agreed.
Making sure that he was comfortable, Tim took out the leather book, his fingers analyzing the bumpy leather texture. Perhaps he would find the owner’s name inside. If not, he will take it to the lost-n-found in the main office. Carefully, Tim took the red strap off the edge of the book, taken aback at the sketches on the paper.
Light feather markings under layers of darker, bolder strokes of graphite looked back at him in the shape of a dress. Side notes in French in a vibrant shade of black ink were meticulously jotted down, red ink being additional notes to the already long list of critiques.
As he turned the pages, Tim saw one dress design after another, designs for hats, caps, shirts and even leather jackets were in there too. Names of fabrics he had never heard of before racked in his mind as Tim kept admiring each sketch. He also couldn’t help but notice the signature on each page. MDC.
MDC.
As he reveled in the initials, trying to make sense of them, he let out a hiss as he retracted his hand from the book, noticing a small bead of blood emerged from his finger...blood?
Tim looked back at the book, noticing that there was a single needle poking out from the sketchbook’s satin bookmark, a silver medallion-
Medallion?
There was no way.
Tim closed in on the medallion and there it was, the initials, MDC. Just like the one he found written on the rose-gold medallion he found years ago.
But why now? Why now after five years of not losing a single thing?
Time had gone by so quickly that Tim literally jumped when the bell rang for the next class, Tim quickly scrambling to gently put back his soulmate’s things into his bag and head for geometry class.
--
Thanks to the fiasco with Lila, Marientte was held back even more, leading to Marinette having to reschedule her appointment with her client.
Thankfully, the client understood the situation Marinette was just in, even going as far as waiting for Marinette to set the new meeting date. Something about having been there before.
Wrapped in a lavender scented blanket, Marinette stared at her phone screen in front of her that blinked several times before turning black. Then it would turn on again.
On. On. On. On. Off. On…. Off. On... Off...On. On...
Marinette didn’t bother to flip it over either, knowing that the vibration of the incoming calls and unread text messages were going to remind her of the incident with Lila...and how she didn’t have access to her sketchbook anymore.
Her stomach grumbled in annoyance, Marinette only then remembering not having eaten in hours and its been a long time judging form the darken sky outside.
Deciding to actually eat something before she started to feel nauseous from not eating, Marinette was surprised to see a crumpled piece of paper next to the tray of food her mom had brought her. Where did the paper come from?
Opening it up, Marinette felt her heart stop.
I don’t know why, but I have your book…
Thank god she studied a bit of English! Marinette read the next lines.
The designs...are very nice. But guessing from the notes on the last page, you need it back. How exactly do I do that?
That stumped Marinette because to be honest, she didn’t know how. Every time she had tried to before, it never worked. Only this one time where she really needed for the link to work, it worked. But...they managed to easily lose their things…
Grabbing a piece of paper, Marinette wrote back, crumbling it and headed towards her skylight. Opening the hatch a bit, she threw it, going back to her food, hoping it got through.
--
Tim was minding his own business, listening to NIghtwing give the squad a run down of their latest problem when he eyed a crumpled up paper by his foot. Hoping no one would notice it, he quickly placed it under his foot and waited for the debriefing to finish.
Crouching to get it, it seems like he wasn’t as subtle as he had wished to be as Jaime got to it first.
“What you hiding from us, compa’?” Jaime asked Tim as he uncrumpled the paper. “¿Qué diablos es esto? What is this? Can you even read this?” Jaime pointed at the French written on the paper.
“Yes, I can.” Tim said, huffing when Bart leaned onto his shoulder, peering into the note in Tim’s hands.
“Why am I not surprised?” Jaime said. “Not only are you super smart, but now you’re bilingual too? Let me guess, you're actually multilingual?”
“Actually, he is.” Bart chimed in.
“No manches güey. Seriously?”
“If I remember correctly: Spanish, Cantonese, Russian-”
“And German.” Tim finished, quickly picking up his pace. “Now if you excuse me, I have a few things to do.”
“Hey! At least tell us what it says! Andale, no seas malo.” Jaime pleaded but simply got a wave goodbye for an answer. “Fine! But don’t forget about tomorrow’s mission, eh?”
As Tim left Jaime and Bart behind, he headed to the zeta tubes to head back home, thanking Alfred for the lift home, acknowledging his father as he made his way to his room.
He made a beeline for his bag, taking out the sketchbook, scared to even hold it now that he knew who it belonged to and how much it could potentially be worth.
He laid down the wrinkled paper on his desk, rereading the note.
Just lose it. Try to toss it out the window or something. That’s what I did. It’s how our link works after all.
Tim took a deep breath, both relieved that there was a possible way to return the book and nervous it wouldn’t work.
Taking the sketchbook, he opened up his bedroom window, looked down below and took a deep breath. He took a step back and with one swift move, he tossed the sketchbook out the window, wondering if it made its way safely back to its owner.
After what seemed like an hour, Tim found a crumpled piece of paper on his desk, quickly jogging towards it and opening, feeling a wash of relief flow out of him, Tim let himself smile as he looked at the paper.
It worked! Thank you so much! My name is Marinette...what’s yours?
--
Months flew by, Marinette now being in her senior year and grinning from ear to ear as she read Tim’s latest text to her, ignoring Alya’s nagging on packing for their trip.
Ever since the sketchbook incident, Marinette found out the reason as to why she was never able to “lose” anything to give to Tim. Or rather the two reasons why the link wasn’t working.
First off, Marinette had been intentionally losing items and always had her eyes on where it would land, which actually cancelled the link. Second, Tim’s fussing over the soulmate link caused it to weaken over time, which further didn't allow Marinette to send him anything over.
Through various days of aggressively sending each other notes, Tim decided to embrace the link while Marinette assured him that she would try to keep her enthusiasm to a low. Keyword: try.
Getting tired from the constant note throwing, Marinette suggested exchanging contact info. It’s how Marinette learned that Tim was very meticulous, and that was coming from his share of contact info. He had an email, phone number, fax number all carefully labeled with even hours in which Marinette was allowed to contact him.
At first Marinette thought he was a stick in the mud, but then Tim had to explain to her about time zones and how he was still in school and afterschool programs most of the week...oops. How did she forget about time zones and school of all things?
Using Marinette’s phone number and email, Tim was easily able to know where exactly Marinette lived, but that’s all he was able to figure out. It wasn’t exactly easy to figure out more about your soulmate when an enthusiastic Dick hovered around you upon knowing about Tim’s soulmate. It got worse when Tim officially moved into Wayne Manor after his father’s death.
But even with Dick hovering like a hummingbird, Tim found texting with Marinette soothing. To have a friend outside of school, out of the Justice League, to have a friend where he could just be Tim...it was...relaxing. Especially when he heard of Lila’s moving due to her mother’s job.
After all, it’s not like he had something to do with it. Absolutely not.
Of course, there were a few times he almost spilled the details, but he was easily able to catch himself, oftentimes redirecting it towards Marinette’s day or her latest commission.
Sometimes they would even video chat, although rarely thanks to time zones. But the few times they did, they would each ingrain each second they spent with each other, as they never knew when they were actually going to meet one day… even if it came closer than what either of them thought.
--
Tim reread his text for the umpteenth time, his mind still trying to process the message before realizing he hadn’t answered back.
Metropolis? As in, the city where the Man of Steel resides?
She...she was heading to Metropolis? In two days?
Thank Kon for dragging him here!
Marinette: Yup! To think we were able to win Luthor’s scholarship trip! Can you believe it? I can’t wait to see what his program could offer! When I found out that Luthor was holding a scholarship trip for those who would win his Foundation for the Arts’ essay competition, there was no way I was going to let that chance go! Especially when I heard that the trip was extended to the winner’s entire class, regardless of nationality. It would basically be our second senior trip before the first one ^^
Must be very excited then.
You bet I am!
To think...to think he would be able to see her in person… He watched as his happiness wrote for him.
--
Tim: Wanna hear something that would make the trip more exciting?
What would make this trip even more exciting?
Marinette hummed into the palm of her hand as she watched Tim type.
Tim: I’ll get to see you. Face to face. I’ll be in Metropolis for the next week...what are the odds?
Alya never saw Marinette turn red so quickly, watching as Marinette almost fell off her bed.
“Marinette! Oh my god, Nino! Help! She’s on cloud nine!”
--
Marinette fanned herself as she bit her lip, fiddling with the green ribbon she had wrapped around her wrist in case she wanted to tie her hair up.
Today was her second day in Metropolis, Marinette now nervous compared to when she first arrived the day before.
After having a tour of Metropolis University, Bustier’s class was able to have the day to themselves and as if on cue, Tim texted her if she was free even though she had already shared her itinerary with him the moment she recovered from her shock those days ago.
So now here she was, standing in Heroes’ Park, wondering if she looked foolish standing in front of Superman’s statue.
Or perhaps because she looked so out of place. Who wears a sunhat nowadays? Oh wait, she did...why exactly? Because freckles.
Marinette looked at her phone, wondering if she got the time wrong. No. She was literally a whole ten minutes early.
So why-
“You scream tourist you know.” A voice said, snapping Marinette from her thoughts. As she turned to see who it was, she felt her heart skip a beat.
He always seemed short, but...now being faced to face…
“Well, sorry for having freckles. The sun-” Marinette pouted, caught by surprised when Tim cupped her face.
“Freckles? I never knew you had them. Then again, you can’t really see them when they’re so small and through a screen at that.”
Marinette listened as her heart threatened to jump from her chest, more so when Tim realized what he was doing. Pink dusted his face. “Sorry, I-”
“I-It’s alright.” Marinette managed to find herself saying, pulling her hat closer to her face. “I...I also wasn’t expecting you to be taller than me.”
That caused Tim to sputter.
“You thought I was-”
“Hey! In my defense, I only had furniture to get some type of knowledge of how tall you were. Seems like I was wrong.” Marinette confessed.
The two stared at each other before laughing, Marinette attempting to reel in her heart with each laugh Tim let out. She didn’t think they would sound so different to what she was used to listening to through the phone.
When the two managed to compose themselves, Tim and Marinette looked at each other again. Marinette dusted off nonexistent dust off her yellow-canary shorts, readjusting her black purse that crossed her red blouse. Tim cleared his throat.
“Well, let’s start this again.” Marinette nodded, a smile on her face.
“Hey. My name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng.” She comfortably answered back, clasping her hand with the hand Tim offered. “I’m happy to finally meet you, Timothy.” Tim squeezed her hands, noticing how her hand fit perfectly in his.
Perhaps this was where his parents went wrong. Perhaps this is why their relationship didn’t work...lack of communication...lack of appreciation and affection…
But he won’t let them end but like them, not when he knows how much she means to him.
Giving her hand a squeeze, Tim smiled at him.
“As am I, Marinette.”
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Powerful Ch. 3
Yakuza! Shouta Aizawa x Fem! Reader
*Mafia AU*
Warnings: Misogyny (not from Shouta), a dagger, kinda fluffy
Word Count: 3k
Author's Note: This took too damn long but here we are. Definitely coming out with another part or two, but the next one is gonna start at a huge timeskip so yeah. That'll be fun.
Anywho, Enjoy~
For Reference, this is the dress I describe in here.
Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 4
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For your second night with Shouta you find yourself lost in thought, staring out at the stars. The stress from before the meeting never disappeared, only delayed. Now it’s all catching up, and your brain is struggling to sort everything out.
Shouta could be on the receiving end of some very misogynistic and traditional clans’ anger very soon. You’re relieved that your future husband is nothing like them, but the backlash he could be getting just by bringing you to a meeting so soon after the announcement is frightening, not to mention some irrational clans may decide to split off and find a rival Yakuza to adopt them. Even so, that’s probably the worst of the outcomes. It’s unlikely you’ll have to worry about either of your safety, though there is still a small chance.
For the second time Shouta wraps his arms around you, surrounding you with his scent and body heat.
“I hope this won’t become a habit, little one.” He presses his cheek to the side of your head, kissing your temple gently. His presence is calming, helps your overactive brain slow down.
“I just needed space to think.” He hums, the sound reverberating through your body.
“What could you be thinking about so late at night?” You don’t really want to tell him, but you figured it’s better than keeping it all in.
“I just worry about the backlash you’ll be getting after the meeting today. This organization is a traditional one, and women have always been kept away from the violent and criminal side of it for centuries. To suddenly name an onna-oyabun, and a woman that previously held a low rank at that, you’re bound to feel some sort of repercussions.” He squeezes you gently, kisses your temple again.
“That’s what you’re worrying your pretty head about? I’ll be fine, little one. Let’s go to bed.” He’s right, you suppose. There isn’t a lot that can affect him or his position, so there isn’t a lot you need to worry about. You nod, taking your weight off of him to go back to the room. You’re a little surprised when he picks you up again, scoops you off your feet and carries you to bed. He tugs you into him just the same as the night before, and once again you fall asleep to the soft thrum of his heart.
The next morning you’re woken by Shouta again. This time you don’t immediately pull away, instead choosing to bask in his embrace a few moments longer. It feels like you’ve known Shouta for years rather than hours, having seen some of the most intimate and private parts of him, and all you want to do is dig deeper. But of course, there’s time for that later.
“Come on, little one. It’s time to wake up. We’re going to see your parents today, and then we’ve got another meeting to attend.” You hum lightly then push off of him, taking a glance at his handsome face before getting out of bed to prepare for the day. You choose a dress you hadn’t worn in a while, one that felt like it would fit today’s events, a flowing black sundress with a halter neckline. Simple black heels pair nicely with it, as well as a small black clutch purse.
You aren’t anxious about Shouta meeting your parents. They aren’t as traditional as most, ideals and views closer to Shouta’s. All parties involved gave their bows in greeting, even Shouta, and brunch went by without a hitch. It wasn’t the usual cringey romcom scene where the parents ask ‘why do you love our daughter’. In fact, they know that the marriage is strategic. Of course, Shouta had made his thoughts clear, that he intends to ensure the union is enjoyable for the both of you. His honesty made a small smile worm its way onto your face, though you managed to hide it well enough.
Soon you’re on the road again, en route to the second meeting. You aren’t too surprised that Shouta already has two scheduled meetings back-to-back after the gala, he is a busy man after all.
The venue is another restaurant, this one not quite as high-end but just as beautiful, the entire massive building shaped like a circle and a koi pond around the perimeter. A bridge is all that connects the sidewalk with the building. You and Shouta are guided through by a host, and out a back door where another bridge connects to a separate island in the extended pond, the structure enclosed with sheer beige curtains.
Again, conversation abruptly stops when you enter. You’ll have to get used to it, you suppose. You sit, and the meeting begins. The subject is mostly territory disputes, bargaining for territory extensions or swaps with the others, all of them trying to work out strategies that benefit not only themselves but other clans as well. You keep silent throughout, listening carefully and learning, taking information and analyzing it. There must be someone Shouta doesn’t like in the meeting, because when the most important details are worked through, he excuses himself to the restroom once again.
You wonder, briefly, why he’d choose to play the same trick a second time in a row. If he does it too often his plan would become transparent, though one could argue not doing it enough would be just as easy to read. You don’t know how often he excuses himself from these meetings, so you decide to leave it in his hands.
Fortunately for you, it would seem no man here is willing to speak about your presence. It’s been almost ten minutes and none of them has said a word to or about you, choosing instead to discuss territories a bit further. Though you were beginning to question why Shouta hadn’t yet returned. Surely one would get suspicious, and one did, glancing toward the main building. It was then you all shifted your attention to Shouta, who stood at the opposite end of the bridge speaking into his phone. So that’s why he’s taking so long.
And unfortunately, that meant these men were relatively safe.
“So what’s the woman doing here?” It was barely a whisper, but you could hear it even over the sounds of the pond. A glance up shows the blonde to your right had leaned over to the man next to him. He’s much younger than the man from yesterday, maybe in his mid-late twenties, his hair clearly not natural. The one he’d whispered to flicked his gaze up, catching your own, and shouldered the blonde who subsequently looked to you. He cracks a cheeky smile, a poor attempt to cover himself really.
“Ah, Onna-oyabun, it’s good to finally see the Black Dragon’s wife-to-be.” It would seem news travels fast, and the blonde is much less bold than the older man. You crack your own smile, a sickly sweet show of teeth that hid a venomous bite.
“The woman has a name. Please, do not be afraid to use it in discussion. And I will tell you exactly what I told the previous oyabun who questioned my presence. I am here because Shouta wants me to be.” His smile doesn’t falter, but his eye visibly twitches at your response. It’s almost amusing to see his composure slip. It’s less amusing when he glances back to where Shouta is still on the phone.
“With all due respect I’m not afraid, I simply do not feel the need. And my question was not directed at you, but at my associate here.” He loops an arm over the shoulder of the man he’d asked, the dark-haired man wide-eyed and nervous. You aren’t sure how to answer his quip without rising tension, but Shouta made it clear you’re to be commanding a room just as he does, so you choose to strike a nerve and stir the pot. For added effect you let your face drop into a deadpan, tilt your chin up just a hair and glare.
“Most would feel it necessary to use a person’s name or title when discussing anything regarding them, especially in their presence. Therefore I can’t help but feel you may not have any respect for me when you clearly should.” You could see the muscles in his jaw clench as he ground his teeth, his nostrils flaring with his anger. You nearly let a smile crawl onto your face at the satisfaction of knowing you’d angered an asshole like him with only your words.
“Maybe I don’t respect you. What are you going to do about it?” The man still under his arm stiffens, a hand slapping the blonde’s chest, his eyes locked on the entrance to the room. Shouta stands there, but the blonde seems to either not notice or not care. You aren’t given time to answer his rhetorical question.
“Nothing. You can’t do a thing about it, because you hold no power over me.” He’s elbowed this time, the dark-haired man trying harder to get the blonde’s attention off of you and onto the man he should be fearing right about now. To be fair, Shouta stands almost behind the blonde, who sits to your right, so it isn’t hard to believe he doesn’t see him. You just let him dig his own grave.
“And you hold no power over me because you’re a woman. A woman out of her place and on the wrong side of business, let alone holding a rank much lower than mine.” The man beneath the blonde’s arm had given up, choosing to bow his head down and stay silent. It’s Shouta who speaks next.
“I believe it’s you who holds a much lower rank than her.” The blonde’s face goes pale, his shit-eating grin dropping faster than a sinking stone.
“In case you hadn’t heard the news yet I’ve assigned her a title, and I expect you to use it. She may have asked you to use her name, but you should address her as Onna-oyabun any time she is brought up in discussion, regardless of whether or not either of us are present.” He strides up behind you and places a hand on your bare shoulder, just like yesterday. You can’t help but feel his positioning is on purpose, physically placing you in front of him.
“Are you ready to go, little one?” You nod, rising from your seat and taking a small bow signaling your leave. Shouta lets a hand rest on your lower back, guiding you out, but you overhear the same blonde whisper under his breath. You’re definitely not meant to hear it.
“The Dragon can’t always be around to save you, brat.” You both freeze in your tracks, Shouta’s eyes wide and nostrils flaring with anger. Before he can turn to react you lean in and whisper in his ear.
“My turn.” He raises an eyebrow at you, then nods, crossing his amrs and leaning against the beam at the entrance. You pivot, pinning the blonde in place with a glare. If looks could kill, he’d be in a casket. Slowly, you begin a steady pace around the table.
“I do not rely on Shouta to help me in these situations. In fact, I could just as easily take a piece of your tongue myself.” You’re on the opposite side of the table now, still taking long, slow strides and glaring down at the man.
“But it is so glaringly obvious that you lack the same level of intelligence I hold, and therefore I would feel guilty to rob you of a muscle that you clearly haven’t learned to use properly,” you stop, standing stock still behind the blonde, “However.” In one swift movement your dagger is stuck in the wooden table directly in front of the blonde, your manicured fingers curled around the handle delicately.
“Should I hear another demeaning or degrading word out of your mouth, I will not hesitate to stain my fingers with your blood.” He doesn’t seem to be reacting at all, whether he’s afraid or not you can’t tell, but you don’t let that affect your performance. You lean in, your lips nearly grazing the shell of his ear.
“You probably wouldn’t even get to taste my blade, but I don’t mind taking my time if you want to savor the tang of steel.” You yank the blade from the wood and sheath it, straightening your posture.
“Had Shouta chosen another woman for his wife you may have been able to actually hurt her feelings with your childish words.” You turn, striding back to where Shouta holds his hand for you to take.
“Unluckily for you, I’m just as volatile as my other half. Be grateful that either of us are merciful. You get to keep your tongue. For now.” It’s cathartic, letting out your anger like that. It’s unlikely that the threat will get you any sort of respect, but fear works just as well in your favor. Respect is something hard to find and even harder earned as a woman in a man’s world, but fear works better against an enemy that dreads change. You can’t help but smirk as you walk away from the chaos you left behind, and as you glance up you see the faintest smirk worming its way onto Shouta’s face.
____
His chest swells with something akin to pride as he waltzes away from the restaurant. He was wrong to assume you were averse to violence, had taken your level-headedness and cool temperament to mean you are not a violent individual. To assume you were either incapable of violence or unable to handle the intensity was obviously a mistake on his part. Watching the blonde freeze up and pale under your hard gaze was extremely satisfying, and he had to admit seeing such controlled rage and sharp words pour from you was enjoyable and, among other things, wildly attractive.
Shouta thinks he should let you handle these situations more often, let you have your fun, maybe even plot to have you purposely go just a little too far and have him reel you back in. Maybe then people may start to understand that you aren’t to be treated lightly, you aren’t just a means to an end, just a glorified housewife. No, you’re much more than that and if it takes bloodied words and bloodier actions to get it through some thick skulls, well, he’s sure you know he’s willing to go there and farther.
But for now, he’d settle with the occasional threat of taking a body part.
____
Once again you stare out at the stars, thinking about the day’s events. You’re almost bouncing on your feet, adrenaline still flowing through your veins. You feel light now, knowing you can take control of an escalating situation. Whether or not you can do it all on your own isn’t a real question. Of course you could do it without Shouta present. His existence alone is enough to ward off any violence directed at you. But it’s your own actions that determine how people will perceive you.
You let Shouta control the first meeting incident, mostly because you had no clue what was going on and no information to work from. Now that you know Shouta is listening and that there’s a purpose behind his absence, you can use it to your advantage and weed out the worst of the bad apples. With that information, and confidence that Shouta will not reprimand you--but will in fact support you--for getting mouthy with said bad apples, you could let loose some of the rage that made your blood boil. It’s freeing, taking entitled men off their precious pedestals and knocking them down a bit.
Shouta wraps his arms around you for the third time, burying his face in your neck and breathing in your scent. He kisses you lightly, feather light presses of his lips against your skin. It really does feel good, being so close to someone.
“I thought this wasn’t becoming a habit.” You sigh and lean into him.
“I’m not quite tired. Honestly I’m thinking about today. I’m still on an adrenaline high just replaying it in my head, the thrill, being able to finally get a word in.” He chuckles, squeezing you a bit tighter to him.
“I’m going to assume you’d never really been allowed to do that sort of thing before.” You nod, a small smile curling your lips. Up until now you lacked any sort of standing or power, and the rush is amazing, for lack of better words. Shouta hums then nips at the shell of your ear, his voice sultry and deep.
“Well if you’re looking to burn energy I think I could help you with that.” Your breath hitches, not prepared for such a suggestion. For a second you believe it, believe he’s really suggesting what you think he is, but you can feel his hands moving and before you can react he’s digging his fingers into your sides, making you giggle uncontrollably.
He’s laughing with you, enjoying watching you try to squirm from his grasp. He releases you, and you run over to the bedroom and duck under the blanket in an attempt to hide, but he only laughs.
“You silly girl, now you’re trapped!” He finds your waist through the thick blanket and doesn’t relent until you’re gasping for air and crying for mercy. He stops, finally, and pulls the blanket off your head. Your face is flushed, your hair splayed wild over the sheets and your chest heaving for oxygen. For a moment his mind drifts to dirtier thoughts of a similar expression he’d like to see. He pushes those thoughts away as you beam up at him, your smile reminding him of sunshine. Rough fingers brush away the hair that had fallen over your face.
“Are you ready to try sleeping now, little one?” You lean your head into his hand, nuzzling your cheek into his palm. The way he’s gazing down at you now, you know you’d never felt so adored in your life.
“Let’s sleep.” He lies down and you get comfortable on top of him, resting your head in the crook of his neck and wrapping your leg around his waist. His arms lock around you, holding you in place and he kisses the top of your head.
#shouta aizawa x reader#shouta aizawa x fem reader#shouta aizawa bnha#shouta aizawa mha#shouta aizawa#aizawa shouta x reader#aizawa shouta x fem reader#aizawa shouta bnha#aizawa shouta mha#mafia au
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In Bloom
{ Xiao x GN!Gardener!Reader }
{ Summary } Looking for flowers is more dangerous than it seems.
{ Warnings } Violence, Injury, Mention of Death, Not Even Proofread.
{ Notes } Reader runs on dumb luck and also is kind of like an ecologist or something. Reader is a bit of an airhead. This is probably the most serious fic I've written, with no jokes or additions stricken out. But yeah I just typed this out and didn't even read it over, so if it's bad... Just know this is just a little something while I work on longer garbage. Masterlist
{ Word Count } 2,112
Appealing to the Vigilant Yaksha was an easy, one could even say effortless, thing for you. You hadn't taken the almond tofu route as others before you had, instead, you left him some Qingxin flowers. These flowers did not come from the peaks of Huaguong Stone Forest nor the Mingyun Village, rather they were among the finest specimens you had grown in your garden. The translucent white petals were soft like velvet and entirely free from blemish.
Your small gift to the adeptus wasn't exactly intentional. In truth, you had left the flowers on the balcony of Wangshu Inn entirely by accident and when you returned to retrieve them they were nowhere to be seen. Instead, there was a pale man with dark hair leaning over the balcony. When you halted your approach, he turned his head towards you, indicating he had heard your footsteps.
Striking golden eyes seemed to gaze straight through you, sending a chill down your spine. His expression was entirely neutral, you couldn't get even a hint as to what he was thinking. Nothing about his outward appearance screamed danger, but the ominous aura you sensed made you take a step back.
"My apologies, I didn't mean to disturb you," you squeaked out, sounding a lot less confident than you had intended. You take a step backward, but couldn't bring yourself to tear your eyes from him.
"Don't apologize. You're welcome to stay," he replied after a few beats of silence, his tone sounding strained for a reason you couldn't discern.
"Um, okay, thank you," you replied politely, feeling it would be too awkward to leave now. It felt to you as though you were now trapped here for a little while out of social obligation. You stepped out towards the railing, deciding to at least enjoy the view if you had to stay.
The man didn't look at you, but you couldn't help but take in his appearance. He was objectively good-looking with bright amber eyes, dark hair with teal highlights, and his stoic expression. His clothing wasn't outlandish, but it's not the type you would commonly see on the streets of Liyue.
It took a while for the dark mask resting against the man's hip to catch your attention, but once it did you felt like a fool. It was not common knowledge, however, the fact an adeptus resided at the Wangshu Inn was not exactly a secret. One which you were privy to. The mask was the most obvious indication of his status as an adeptus. Not just any adeptus, not that any of them were anything to look down upon, but one of the Yakshas. The last of the five Yakshas.
"Alatus," the name escapes your lips as a whisper before you can think to stop it. Immediately your eyes widen, but before you could issue an apology the man just sighs softly. It doesn't sound particularly angered, but rather weary.
"Xiao. My name is Xiao," he says without turning to look at you. That's all he says before vanishing in a cloud of black mist and falling feathers of anemo energy. The mist and feathers are both quick to dissipate, leaving you standing with your mouth hanging open.
After that encounter, it had become a regular occurrence, at least once weekly, for you to pick one of the finest flowers from your garden and bring it to Wangshu Inn to leave on the balcony, or give directly to Xiao should he show himself. Most often you brought him a Qingxin, but occasionally you would substitute other flowers as not to end up plucking every Qingxin you had grown. You never picked the very best flower, either. Even for an adeptus you couldn't bring yourself to pick the best examples, rather letting them grow in peace for your prolonged enjoyment.
It wasn't until the third time you had come to the inn with a flower for Xiao that he was waiting for you on the balcony. Seeing the yaksha there made you pause, heart skipping a beat in surprise. He turned from his place looking out across the landscape to see you, certainly not as surprised to see you as you were him.
The way he looked expectantly at the flower in your hand has you realizing you had been standing there frozen. You moved, extending the flower out to him in offering. He took it delicately from your hand, looking it over for a moment.
"Thank you," he said softly, so quiet you almost didn't hear it at all. You could only nod stiffly in response. He scoffed at you before turning around again to lean against the balcony railing.
Just as it had the first time you met the yaksha, it felt wrong to just leave. So, you decided to survey the landscape of Liyue with him in silence. After the first few minutes, the atmosphere became rather comfortable between the two of you. Still, by the time he disappeared in a cloud of black mist and anemo feathers, neither of you had spoken a word.
This morning you were out early in the morning to explore the wilds of Liyue. You were no adventurer, though. Your purpose was to analyze the populations of certain flora and fauna. These were trips you made often to various parts of Liyue, wishing to preserve the life of endangered species, and always alone. Bringing people along to the locations of such rare organisms, be it plant or animal, was a dangerous thing. In many instances, rare means valuable and there are those who would do anything for some Mora.
Today you found yourself in Dihua Marsh to check up on the Glaze Lily population. Based on your counts, the number hadn't fluctuated greatly since your last visit, there were even a few new blooms. This brought you great relief, Glaze Lilies seemed to be somewhat of a symbol of Liyue and it would sadden you to see their wild population disappear, even if they remained in Qingce Village and at the Yujing Terrace. It wouldn't be the same.
Once you had sung a few songs to the flowers, not worried about anyone hearing you in this rather secluded area, you made your way back to one of the main roads. The long walks back to the harbor always ended up with you lost deep in thought, which wasn't always a good thing. Lost deep in your own mind, you didn't notice the slow advance of a small group of Treasure Hoarders until it was too late.
There was no time to run away as they surrounded you, it was unlikely you could have outrun them anyways. Fortunately, it didn't take very long for the Treasure Hoarders to discover you had absolutely nothing of value on you, and while they may be thieves it wasn't often a Treasure Hoarder was a murderer. Of course, they had roughed you up a bit before ultimately leaving you alone. There was a nasty scrape on your cheek and you were sure you would be bruised in the morning, but you weren't seriously injured.
By the next day, your muscles ached and bruises had appeared in various places on your body, but the scrapes had stopped bleeding and it was nothing that would stop you from bringing your usual offering to Xiao. You spent some time perusing your garden, looking for the perfect gift. You settled on a Silk Flower, there was some worry in your mind that Xiao would dislike it because they did grow right outside of the Wangshu Inn, but you hope the exceptional fragrance and color of this specimen would gain his appreciation.
Mindful not to fiddle with the flower as to preserve its pristine state, you worried the whole walk to the inn. Even if the adeptus wasn't present, if he rejected the offering you felt you would know. Maybe you would find the flower sitting where you left it on your next visit, or maybe Verr Goldet would tell you about the silk flower she found laying on the balcony. Your heart clenched at the thought and you couldn't help but wonder when you had started seeking the yaksha's approval.
You hadn't even realized you arrived at the inn until you were stepping off the elevator, lost in thought again. Shaking your head, you thought it would be good if you started paying more attention. Getting ambushed by again was the last thing you wanted, the next time it could be worse than petty thieves.
Pushing the negative thoughts from your mind, you climbed the stairs to the balcony you so often visited. Your muscles ached in quiet protest, but the pain was mild. Peeking over the stairs, you spotted Xiao.
For the first time, he was already facing you, leaning with his back against the railing. You wondered if he had spotted you on your way to the Inn, offering him a polite smile as a silent greeting. You extended the Silk Flower to him once you stepped out onto the balcony.
"What happened to you?" Xiao asked immediately, tone stern. He took the flower from you without even sparing a glance down at it. Did he not like Silk Flowers?
"Oh, um, I just bumped into some Treasure Hoarders yesterday. Nothing serious," you answered after finally processing his question, bringing your hand up to the scrape on your cheek without thinking. His frown deepened with your response and the adeptus crossed his arms over your chest.
"You were hurt," he pointed out bluntly. You felt small under his hard stare.
"Oh, it's nothing, um, serious," you assured him with a nervous laugh. He only furrowed his brows at your response.
"If ever again you find yourself in any danger, call my name. Adeptus Xiao. I will be there when you call."
At his words, your cheeks heated up. Was this some sort of special treatment, or did he offer this to anyone? It felt wrong to receive such kindness from an adeptus if it was only for you.
"Promise," he pressed when you didn't answer.
"Okay, I will. If I'm ever in danger, I'll call you," you agreed meekly, feeling a great weight put upon you under his amber gaze. He huffed before disappearing in his usual manner, and it was impossible for you to tell if he was upset with you.
The next time you visited the inn, Xiao hadn't appeared. This wasn't unusual, but the worry that you had displeased him seeped into your bones. You tried to ignore this feeling, going out often to check on wildlife populations and spending extra time tending to your garden. Keeping busy was the best way to take your mind off your worries and stay productive.
A week after your meeting with the Vigilant Yaksha, you were back at Dihua Marsh checking on the Glaze Lilies. You were sitting in the middle of the lilies, singing softly to the patch of flowers when the sound of shouting reached your ears. Looking up, you noticed two hilichurls accompanied by a mitachurl with a stone shield who was charging your way.
There would be no time for you to get up and out of the way, so you closed your eyes and braced for the impact. You could only pray it wouldn't kill you, but even if it didn't you would probably be unable to escape death by the hilichurls soon after.
The impact never came, instead, a gust of wind blew past you and you wondered if the mitachurl had somehow run past you. When you opened your eyes, you saw Glaze Lily petals swirl into the air, dancing around the familiar figure of the Vigilant Yaksha. The mitachurl was already crumbling to dust, returning to the Abyss with it's hilichurl companions.
Xiao turned to face you, mask dematerializing from his face and reappearing at his hip. When he extended his hand down to help you get up, you furrowed your brows wondering why he had been here. Was it incredible luck, or had he perhaps been following you?
Taking his hand, you let him pull you up onto shaky legs. He didn't let go, looking a little worried you'd fall. You finally looked up to his face, scanning golden eyes.
"Why are you here?" you finally asked, throat feeling a bit scratchy.
"I told you I would be there when you called."
His words only confused you further until it dawned on you, the scratchy feeling in your throat was awfully similar to that which came with yelling. Had you truly called his name without even thinking, without even realizing?
"Thank you, Xiao."
#.rhea writes#ending fic is hard.#a crumb while i work on longer stuff#genshin impact#genshin#genshin xiao#xiao#alatus#adeptus#adeptus xiao#qingxin#silk flowers#wangshu inn#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#xiao x reader#gn reader#gender neutral reader#gardening#lowkey based off a story from my biology teacher#not really#just the ecologist part#rattlesnake dens#haha good luck figuring that out#fic#fanfic#okay goodnight
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