queer baiting

had a feeling i would be making a post about this at some point.

what is it?

According to Wikipedia, Queerbaiting is a marketing technique for fiction and entertainment in which creators hint at, but then do not actually depict, same-sex romance or other LGBT representation.

what is it not?

Celebrities hinting at their own sexualities. It’s not from real people but rather a tactic where media producers imply queer stories and media texts that are never actualized (Rolling Stones).

Why is this an important distinction? Because it is damaging to the bisexual, pansexual, and genderfluid community. The term has started to be associated with celebrities who talk about not identifying as straight but never having been in a relationship with someone of the same gender. Or celebrities who present as queer but never label themselves. Or literally anyone who has a “queer” fashion style. People are trying to cancel celebrities instead of cancelling shows/companies for misrepresentation.

Queer people should not be the only ones talking about queer baiting but straight people need to educate themselves first.

<3

Something I loved about heartstopper 2 is how it was repeatedly made clear that Nick doesn't owe anyone a coming out.

QUEER PEOPLE DON'T OWE ANYONE ANY INFORMATION ABOUT THEM BEING QUEER

I repeat

NO QUEER PERSON OWES IT TO YOU TO TELL YOU ABOUT THEIR QUEERNESS

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO YOU ARE

We either invite you in or we don't.

Bricks are about to start getting thrown. I’m tired and my ability to deal with stupid assholes is nearing its end.

Trans women are women.

Trans men are men.

Non-binary people are non-binary people.

It’s really not that goddamn difficult to sit down, shut the fuck up, and accept peoples gender are what they fucking say it is. It’s not a choice. It’s not a decision. It just is what it fucking is. Its. That. Simple.

No one should feel like they need to “pass” unless they fuckin want to.

If you see a man in a skirt, mind ya business.

You see a woman with a beard, mind ya fucking business.

No one owes anyone gender conformity.

IT’S THAT SIMPLE.

Thank you for coming to my TEDtalk.

Actually though fuck people who think you're supposed to reblog things. I don't owe you exposure. I don't owe you a boost in visibility. I don't owe you shit.

I have 3 blogs now. This one is my personal blog and MOGAI blog. It's for MY terms, MY ramblings, and MY content! If I think something deserves visibility I'll reblog it. If I really like something I'll reblog it. If I agree with a statement I'll reblog it. If I have commentary I'll reblog it. If I reblog your stuff, that's a nice thing I did for you. I don't have to reblog your art, your fanfic, your flag, or anything you made if I don't want to. I reblog what I want to be on MY blog. I also have bilesproblems. That's for all things bi lesbian related, and I'll reblog things that are relevant to mspec lesbians but basically nothing else. Then there's my redtail arts blog, which I rarely use and was mostly to not expose this blog to my friend. I'll reblog art occasionally but it's mostly going to be MY art because it's MY art blog!

There are blogs that mostly reblog stuff related to a certain category and if you need more reach, tag them! I tagged queer-love-for-women on my lesbian flag because I knew QLFW is a prevalent reblogger and dedicated the blog to reblogging things related to queer love for women. You can also tag your posts. Don't make salty posts about how someone liked your post and didn't reblog it. You're lucky someone liked your post at all. When you get mad about likes without rbs you literally are acting like a spoiled child and if I see one more post on my dash about how reblogs matter more than likes I will start blocking y'all at adding "thinks reblogs are more valuable than likes/gets upset when someone likes a post and doesn't reblog it" to my Do Not Follow list.

Y’all aren’t “Activists”

You’re just assholes who bullied a kid into coming out before he was ready. You clearly didn’t understand the point of the show or comic book.

I absolutely HATE when fans pester celebrities for new content, specifically new music. AJR put out an album a year and a half ago and just finished touring and people are ALREADY DEMANDING A-FUCKING-NOTHER ONE.

CREATORS DON'T OWE US ANYTHING SO STOP ACTING LIKE THEY DO & DEMANDING THINGS FROM THEM.

AJR has ALREADY mentioned that another album is already in the works, so it'll be out in due time. You can shut the fuck up and wait until then. They have 4 ½ albums (½ because they released a deluxe version of one) already out. I know that when you absolutely love an artist a lot can sometimes never feel like enough, but that simply DOES NOT give you the right to go in comment sections and aggressively talk about how you "need a new album right now". For 1. THEY'RE ALREADY FUCKING WORKING ON ONE AND HAVE TOLD US SO and 2. NO ONE OWES YOU ANYTHING!!!!!! Celebrities don't work for you; they don't. And somewhere along the way society has forgotten that. Yes, they make things that we enjoy but they do not work for us and tend to our every need.

Celebrities -singers, actors, writers, musicians, dancers, animators- are human. They deserve rest and time to relax. They don't deserve people constantly asking for things from them. And no, this is not "what they get for putting themselves in the limelight and getting famous". They're still people, and they're still entitled to their privacy, their free time and being treated with basic human respect & decency.

Your favorite people are just that: people. Stop hassling and pestering people who've already given you so much. It makes you a bad fan. Don't be a bad fan especially if you really do love the *band, actor, singer, writer, influencer, etc*. They love you too and chances are more stuff will be released eventually. Just be patient.

Someone else’s peace isn’t about you. Please stop feeling entitled with your friends/family/loved one’s time.

Lesson #1 for how to acquire basic human decency and be seen as a decent human in the eyes of others.

No one owes you anything

Rounds at a punching bag with the image of immature adults I know in mind, therapy.

reminder for pride month that no one owes you coming out

Just Dance night at the Van Eck mansion

sasuke thinking he has committed such unforgivable crimes. sasuke thinking he’s the only one who cares enough about his family to commit such crimes. he’s the only one who’s left. sasuke thinking his crimes make him susceptible to hatred. sasuke knowing his role as an avenger requires him to be hated - him being okay with this; thinking there’s no other way. sasuke being ready to take on the hatred of the entire world because they don’t understand and they’ll hate him and fuck all if they hate him; he’s an avenger.

BUT.

naruto saying “sasuke i understand what you did”. naruto saying “sasuke if you kill me i will have failed to save you from what the world has tried to do to you, so i’ll kill us both if it means you don’t succeed at being alone.” sasuke asking “what are you?” and naruto responding “i’m your friend” time and time again. naruto being the only one who understands. naruto being the only one who loves sasuke more than the world might hate him or see him as something unforgivable. naruto seeing sasuke only as sasuke and not as what the world might have tried to do to him.

AND THEN

sasuke saying. “i lost.” sasuke dying for naruto in spite of his own dream because it is the only way to say what he doesn’t have words for. sasuke saying “we’ve failed to die yet again” and being disappointed. naruto saying “don’t tell me it’s really heaven this time” before a sunrise with sasuke beside him. sasuke saying “i lost” because he realizes he will fail to be alone so long as naruto is alive. he will fail to be hated so long as naruto is alive. he will fail to be anything else but sasuke in naruto’s eyes.

every time they admit their faults or weaknesses or failures it is only to each other. they are the only two people in the world to understand each other as boys and not as jinchuuriki or uchiha/uzumaki or even as shinobi and that is the beauty to their bond. even after years without each other they approached each other with the same feelings they had when they were 12. their love and understanding of each other’s hearts literally transcends any existing bond in the manga and that’s why no one else can ever come close to what each one of them feels for the other.

My best advice for trans people who are interacting with transphobes is to not delve into your personal experiences with dysphoria, childhood, sexual experiences, literally anything.

When I was a younger trans person, I thought I could prove my humanity to transphobes by delving into those aspects of my life. I genuinely thought that the more personal information I put out about my transness to transphobes, I could awaken something in them and make them realize "holy shit, I'm talking to a human being and not an abstraction of a 'person'".

What I learned, though, is that all I did was give those transphobes power over me. Transphobia often relies on unfalsifiable "theory" - that means that you cannot prove their theories of transness wrong. By playing their game, all you do is set yourself up to feel humiliated and degraded. By playing this game, you have already lost because they will cheat the game as many times as needed because they are going in with inherent bad faith.

You, in fact, do not owe your life story to transphobes. Their theory about transness is, simply put, that trans people can never be correct about our experiences. There will always be an ulterior motive for trans people in their eyes, because that is all they see. Don't give them that over you.