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epicbuddieficrecs · 5 months

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Favorite Buddie fics of 2023!

Every single year at @epicstuckyficrecs I used to do a fic rec at the end of the year with my favorite fics. I figured I should keep the tradition going! So, without further ado, these are my favorite Buddie fics (in no particular order) published in 2023! (you can also check out some other favorite Buddie fics of mine here)

If you have any favorites that aren't in this list, don't hesitate to share them in the comments! :)

Complete

find a way to you (if it kills me) by foxwatson/ @eddiediazes (Post S6E13: Mixed Feelings, Pining | 19K | Mature): the one where eddie decides to start dating again, buck figures out his own feelings just a minute too late, and then he spends a week going through the five stages of grief

let the world have its way with you by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Post-Coma AU | 54K | Explicit): or, a bucket list that’s really about buck needing to make a change and an eddie who’s ready to do anything to see him fall in love with life again. it takes some crossing off for eddie to realise—the thing at the top of the list in his own heart? it’s been right here all along

Being Eddie by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Time Travel, Post-Season 6, Getting together | 80K | Teen): When Eddie starts seeing a new therapist, he’s presented with the opportunity to revisit several days from his past and right regrets that still bother him. OR: Eddie goes through the time travel therapy process of the 2009 Canadian TV show Being Erica.

Evan Buckley & The Coma-Verse of Madness by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Coma AU, Multiverse | 58K | Teen): After being struck by lightning on a call, Buck experiences a plethora of alternate realities showing him different directions his life could have taken. Fighting hard to get home, Buck learns what, or who, is important to him in every lifetime.

like a dog with a bird at your door by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Post-S6, Getting Together | 51K | Explicit): or, evan “i love you like a dog” buckley has only ever known how to love like, well, a dog, but maybe eddie diaz is the kinda guy to give a flea-bitten mongrel a forever home

Both Blade and Branch by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Post-S6 | 62K | Mature): The chances of being struck by lightning twice are incredibly minute, but Buck still manages to pull it off. During a double date with Marisol and Natalia, nonetheless. Eddie manages to resuscitate him, but as Buck recovers from yet another trauma, Eddie can’t help but notice there’s something very different about him. He’s not quite sure what version of Buck he got back.

where all of the people dancing and clapping would greet me with such warmth by trysetmeonfire/ @try-set-me-on-fire (Season 6, Magical Realism | 15K | Mature): In the fall, Buck begins to disappear. (Part 2 of All I Am, All That I Am)

Nothing Left But You by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars ("Blip" AU | 27K | Teen | Warning: MCD): In May of 2021, 25% of Earth's population suddenly disappears. Including Eddie. In May of 2026, they all come back. Eddie finds himself suddenly in the middle of a world he doesn't recognize, where the people he loves most have changed significantly.

Your Love is an Oil Slick (It Glows like Rainbows, It Stains My Soul) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Canon Divergent - Supernatural Elements, Ghost Buck | 67K | Explicit): When Eddie's son claims he has an imaginary friend, Eddie doesn't think much of it. Christopher is seven, it's what kids do. But then weird things start happening around the house, and Eddie starts dreaming about a handsome blue-eyed man. Turns out, Christopher's friend isn't so imaginary. Their house is haunted.

come with me, together, we can take the long way home series by allisonRW96/ @homerforsure (Canon compliant | 105K | T to M):

Get me through the night; Make me feel alright (Post-S3 Finale | 11K | Mature): After an emotionally-gutting reunion with Abby, Buck turns to old coping mechanisms. Eddie helps him find a better way. In Uncertain Times, The Uncertain Rules Apply (Pre-S4 | 22K | Teen): Covid comes to LA. Eddie copes. Or doesn't. Holding out for Something More (Stuck in Reverse) (Post S4E3/Lone Star Crossover | 26K | Teen): LA is coming out of lockdown and the world is returning to some sense of normalcy. But going back to the way things were hurts more than Buck expected. While his therapist challenges him to confront what he really wants, the team takes a trip to Austin... and El Paso. so far from being free (S4E4: 9-1-1 What's Your Grievance?, S4E5: Buck Begins | 46K | Teen): That’s Daniel. He was our brother. Buck doesn’t know what to do with the past tense. He never had a brother. He’s always had a brother. He gained one and lost one in the same breath and it feels impossible.

Kink Club AU series by Princessfbi/ @princessfbi (Canon Divergent - Different First Meeting, BDSM, Dom Eddie, Sub Buck | Complete | Explicit): Canon compliant one shots where Eddie works at a Kink Club as a side hustle and meets Buck there before his first shift in 2x01.

The Warmth (of You) (25K): aka where Buck and Eddie first meet at a kink club before the firehouse To Weather the Storm (With You) (21K): aka the fallout of Buck finding out the dom he met at a Kink Club is his new coworker Safe Here (With You) (20K): aka Buck and Eddie handle working a shift after their first scene The Building Pressure (of You) (15K): aka Buck reaches out to Eddie after he leaves Abby's place in 2x07 An Offer to Torment (You) (14K): aka Eddie is all twisted up inside about what to do with Shannon. Buck offers himself up for some much needed holiday stress relief.

like when the sun came out by spaceprincessem/ @spaceprincessem (Canon Divergent, Ghosts | 39K | Mature): Evan gave up trying to explain what happens to him after his parents forced him to have a talk with one of their friends, supposedly a pediatric therapist, and cruelly hinted that if Evan didn’t stop seeing and talking about his “invisible friends” as if they were real then his parents would send him far away to places where they lock children up in padded rooms. “Look,” Evan says quickly, forcing out the words before he gets too scared to speak,” I—I know this is going to sound crazy, but, um, ever since I was a kid I can see ghosts.”

tomorrow will always and forever now be today (tomorrow is our always and forever) by withmeornotatall/ @chronicowboy (Post-S6, Time Loop | 43K | Mature): eddie gets trapped in a time loop on the day buck marries natalia

All My Shattered Oaths by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Vampires AU | 107K | Explicit): Eddie wants to stay away from his family’s legacy and give his son a normal life. Buck’s desperate to find a way to get over the love he lost. Fate has other plans for both of them.

Don't They Know It's the End of the World? by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Fallout 4 AU, Post-Apocalyptic | 32K | Mature | Warning: Violence): After being put in a cryogenic sleep for over a hundred years to wait out an apocalyptic event, Eddie Diaz wakes up, too early, to find his son has been stolen from his cryo-chamber. Scared and alone in a frightening world he doesn't recognize, Eddie is willing to do anything to get his kid back.

but i can see all along, love (it was you all the way down) by diazchristopher/ @captain-hen (Post-S6, Time Loop | 28K Mature): He puts his laptop away after a bit, and paces the length of his apartment as he tries to take stock of the situation at hand. One: The date is March 22nd, 2024. Two: It has been March 22nd for 3 days now. Three: Buck is trapped in some kind of time loop that is forcing him to relive this day. Four: Eddie is, apparently, in love with him. And. And. Five: Buck doesn’t feel the same way.

WIP

And here are my favorite WIP that I really hope will continue to be updated in 2024! 🤞

for all the haunts and homes of men by euadnes/ @kananjarus (Canon Divergent, Post-Apocalyptic, Station Eleven Crossover | WIP | 11/? | 96K | Mature | Warning: Violence): The year by the old calendar is 2025. Home is gone. Home is a failed rescue mission and an echo of a memory. Home is a lost boy living in a wooden house by the sea. But first, there was a promise. Christopher, when it's safe, I'll take you back to your father. Buck had all but given up on keeping it after the world had died and everyone in it. But just as some oaths refuse to be forgotten, so the same can be said about the endurance of love.

Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon, S1 through S6 | 104/? | 283K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

Precious & Fragile Things by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Small Miracles AU, Angel Buck | 10/? | 25K | Teen): Buck is the Fallen Angel of Petty Temptation, who has been tasked with tempting human Eddie Diaz to sin and enjoy life, but just a little. He thinks the job will be easy - get in, get out, go back to Peru to continue messing around with eternity. But when Buck arrives in Los Angeles, he finds Eddie is harder to tempt than expected, and more compelling than Buck had hoped.

Right Where You Left Me by hyacinthusbloom/ @thebloomingheather (Canon Divergent, Post-S4, Angst | 89K | 20/? | Explicit | Warning: Rape/Non-con): "Therapy?" Eddie suggests. Buck almost laughs, but instead says, "I'll go if you go." Because he had fully expected him to be chicken shit, to disagree, and instead Eddie, the bastard, replies, "Deal." Or Buck never tells anyone that he slept with his therapist and deals with the butterfly effect years later.

Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know by JJK/ @trenchcoatsandtimetravel (Demon Buck, Canon Divergent | 7/? | 12K | Teen): Buck is a demon with the power to help with pregnancy, childbirth, and infant health. When the Buckleys make a deal asking for someone to help 'save their baby', Buck leaps at the chance as it will give him what he's always wanted: a life on earth. But demon deals are tricky and neither of them gets quite what they're after. This is Buck's journey as he navigates growing up on earth and remembering how to help those in need.

#epic buddie fic rec #buddie #buddie fic rec #buddie fic #buddie fanfic #buddie fanfiction #911 fanfic #911 fic #911 fanfiction

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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youtube

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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augiewrites · 6 months

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"secret admirer" - dead poets society (part 5)

summary: y/n receives a curious invitation from meeks and has a surprise encounter with neil and todd

pairing: anonymous!dead poet x gender neutral reader

word count: 1.2k

previous | next

It was finally Friday, and Y/N was looking forward to spending the weekend recovering from a week of non-stop exams, cramming, and a nonexistent sleep schedule. The morning’s classes had been a drag so far, and they were looking forward to the reprieve of Keating’s class. Knowing they'd be in close proximity to their admirer aside, Keating’s class gave them an opportunity to activate another part of their brain—one concerned less with grades and formulas.

No, this part was more concerned with matters of feeling. Matters of love, art, expression—everything crucial to finding true meaning in life.

Meaning.

Something that Y/N’s life—and the students of Welton’s lives—was severely lacking.

Y/N shoved the existential crisis to the back of their mind, shooting Todd a smile as he occupied the desk at the front of the class.

Their desk compartment was empty aside from their textbook and notes. Y/N felt their heart drop. It had been empty for days.

Did I make a mistake leaving that poem?

Y/N did their best to not look disappointed. The only thing more embarrassing than their poet’s lack of response was the thought of him observing their discontent.

Keating’s class didn't give them much reprieve that day.

_________________________________________

Against their better judgment, Y/N found themselves in the library during common hour. In all truth, Y/N just wanted to go back to their dorm and bang their head against the wall until they fell asleep. Alas, the expectation of a 4.0 GPA was looming over their head.

Thankfully, Meeks was the only other person to show up. Y/N didn't think they had the strength to deal with Dalton.

“So are you just going to keep side eyeing me, or do you have something to say?” Y/N set down their pencil and turned to face Meeks.

“Y/N, you've sighed three times within the last minute,” Meeks quipped, "seems like you're the one with something to say."

“But I'm right, though. You have something you want to say."

“I'll share with the class if you will.”

The two stared at each other for a moment—Meeks' expression much lighter compared to Y/N’s frustrated features.

Y/N gave in first.

“I’m tired, Meeks."

“Of?..."

“Everything.”

“You’re going to have to give me a little more here, Y/N.”

“…”

"I'm waiting."

“My GPA dropped to a 3.7," Y/N’s gaze was fixed to the table, “my parents are not happy. I feel like all I ever do is try, but it's not enough, and it never will be. My social life is practically nonexistent, I don't remember the last time I had fun, and I can feel my spirit dying. Some days it feels like I'm dying."

“You’re more than your grades, Y/N. You have to know that."

“I know that, Meeks. They don't,” Y/N let out a bitter laugh, “they ship me off to this prison, don't let me come home for breaks, and they call me maybe twice a semester if I'm lucky. They see my grades more than they ever see me."

Meeks was silent for a beat as Y/N cradled their head in their hands.

“Tomorrow night. Meet me outside the East wing at 10PM.”

“Meeks, what are you—“

“Just trust me. If you care about your spirit, anyway."

“Fine,” Y/N began packing their bag and stood up, nodding absentmindedly, "yeah, okay."

Because everything was cosmically determined to go wrong, Y/N crashed into Charlie as they rounded the corner out of the library. Their armload of textbooks crashed to the floor.

“Don’t you know to look both ways before crossing the street?" Charlie joked as he knelt to pick up Y/N’s books.

Y/N kept their head down as they gathered the mess of note paper that exploded out of their trig book.

“I mean, really, Y/N. If you want to feel me up you don't need to be so aggressive about it—“

Charlie’s sly smile melted into concern when he noticed the tears in Y/N’s eyes.

"Hey, are you okay, Y/N?” Charlie passed the books to Y/N and placed a gentle hand on their upper am.

Y/N gave the boy a tight lipped smile and stepped away from his touch.

“I'm fine, Dalton," Y/N was already moving down the hall.

“Y/N—“

“If you're looking for Meeks, he's still in there."

Y/N disappeared around the corner, leaving Charlie staring at the space they just occupied.

_________________________________________

Y/N wasn’t one for skipping class, but it was the last period of the day and Y/N thought their head would explode if they didn’t get away from everyone as soon as possible.

They triple checked that the hallway was empty before rushing into the storage room filled with students’ empty luggage.

But the room wasn’t unoccupied like they expected.

Neil Perry and Todd Anderson were in the middle of the room, locked in a gentle embrace.

They jumped apart when they heard Y/N’s soft sound of surprise, and the trio looked at each other in shock for a beat.

“We were just—” Neil took a step away from Todd before the other boy cut him off, surprising everyone, seemingly including himself.

“We’re together.”

They all stared at each other for another moment before Neil stepped forward again.

“You can’t tell anyone, Y/N.”

“I won’t,” Y/N blinked, suddenly coming alive again, “I would never.”

Relief washed over the two boys. Todd was more red than Y/N thought was humanly possible.

“Okay, I’m just gonna,” Y/N took a step back and jerked a thumb over their shoulder at the door, “go…”

They turned quickly to leave.

“Y/N.” Neil’s hand enclosed their wrist as they reached for the doorknob.

They looked up into Neil’s soft gaze, a faint smile on his face, “thank you.”

“Of course,” they returned the smile and waved to Todd as they slipped out the door, rushing to their dorm to avoid being caught for truancy.

_________________________________________

Y/N had been laying in bed for all of fifteen minutes before they heard the familiar sound of paper sliding under the door.

They were out of bed and rushing to open the door before they could think twice. Truancy be damned.

The empty hallway mocked Y/N.

Frustrated tears welled in their eyes as they slammed the door and grabbed the envelope off the floor before ripping it open.

Beloved Y/N,

In your eyes, a storm silently brews, Emotional tempest, tears it strews. I stand close, a silent observer, Love entangled in your pain, a fervent preserver.

Your hurt, a whisper in the quiet air, A shared burden, a weight to bear. In the shadows, love stands strong, A balm for wounds, a solace lifelong.

In the heart's tempest, emotions entwine, Love persists, a steadfast lifeline. I may not heal all that pains your soul, But together, in love, we find a way to be whole.

x, Yours.

Y/N let the tears flow freely as they sunk down onto the bed.

They were certain of who wasn’t their poet, but they were in denial about who it could be.

~~~

part six

a/n: any reality where neil and todd aren't in love is a crime against nature

taglist: @vvnbxz @edb954

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benkeibear · 8 months

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⋆꙳✧༄ Relationship Headcanons

❖ Character: Obanai

❖ Reader: female

❖ Summary: How you two got together and the beginning of your relationship

❖ WARNINGS: mentions of his past

❖ A/n: thank you @desi-the-blue-eyed-kakushi and @nanamis-wifey-reye for enabling my simping as always

ꕤ Obanai isn't really interested in dating you at first, not seeing an appeal in it or what getting to know you would do any good to him

ꕤ However he found himself always close to you. You were outside just enjoying the day? He sat on the tree you leaned against, coincidentally just enjoying the cool breeze on there

ꕤ He once overheard what your favorite food was and now he always thinks of you whenever he smells it. You're in his head at all times and he hates it

ꕤ He drew the line when Kaburamaru would strangle him whenever Obanai was close to you, only signaling how he felt on the inside, breathing getting harder and his heart beating faster

ꕤ It really started to get him angry when Kaburamaru slithered away to be with you more, curling up alongside you when you slept

ꕤ It started out with once, maybe twice a week and now you found yourself in front of Obanais door every morning, returning the snake to him until one time you caught a glimpse of his face

ꕤ Neither you nor him spoke of that ever again and he tried distancing from you further but you wouldn't let him

ꕤ And he doesn't know why or how but one night he's knocking at your door, head spinning, ears ringing and his breath uneven - in the rush of a panic attack it was you he looked for, you he needed to feel grounded again

ꕤ He hated how vulnerable he was but he know you wouldn't tell anyone just like you never spoke of his face to him or any of the other Hashira, he knew that his secrets are safe with you, opening up more and more each day

ꕤ There would always be sides of him that remain hidden from you and you never pushed him to reveal what he's not ready for

ꕤ It took the help of Tengen and Kyojurou to get him to ask you out, both men teasing him for having a crush and relentlessly flirting to get him jealous, only to confess to you when he overheard Tengen asking you to marry him

ꕤ The sound hashira walked away giggling upon hearing Obanai admitting to his feelings rather clumsy and unclear, unsure how to voice out these kind of emotions but you knew him well enough by now and let him know that your feelings are the same

ꕤ He never tells you that he loves you, preferring to show it by bringing you your favorite food or items that reminded him of you

ꕤ if you tell him that you love him he will get flustered but takes your hand in his before putting it on his chest so you can feel how his heart beats faster now, how it's beating for you

ꕤ He still prefers not to eat or sleep around you because of his scars, scared you'll call him a monster and run off, his heart would never recover if the only one he ever loved was so repulsed by him

ꕤ He thought you're repulsed regardless but as long as you don't show it, he could act like it's not the case - it never was. He was beautiful in your eyes. From his raven hair, over his mismatched eyes, scarred face and to his defined body, warm hands always looking for yours

ꕤ It was an accident when the bandages slipped off and you could see anger flicker in his eyes but it turned to sadness and fear while his Face remained empty of emotions

ꕤ You only gave him a warm smile and cupped his cheeks, hands hovering above his skin “may I?” You asked in a whisper, wanting permission to touch

ꕤ Obanai focused his gaze downwards after nodding, the goosebumps rising on his entire body when your soft hands came in contact with his most disgusting feature only to caress his cheek with your soft thumb, ever so gently

ꕤ His eyes flickered up to look for yours to see nothing but adoration in them “You don't need to hide your beautiful face from me, Nai” you mumbled, voice loving instead of pitiful which he expected

ꕤ He didn't understand why you could accept him like this, how you could love him but it didn't matter in that moment, shy lips looking for yours, the feeling of a ghost against your lips, trembling ever so slightly

ꕤ You took his hand in yours and put it above your chest, letting him feel your heartbeat quicken just like he always does to let you know he loves you, the kiss growing more confident

Networks: @enchantedforest-network @themovingcastlez @planetonet

#demon slayer x reader #demon slayer fluff #obanai x reader #obanai fluff #kny x reader #kny fluff #demon slayer obanai #kny obanai #kny headcanons #obanai iguro

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fadelion · 2 months

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I'd really dig a Duke solo run right now. Or rather, a Duke focused run that shows off Gotham during the day again and has minimal appearances from other bats and established heroes. Something that shows how he runs things when it's just coming down to him. And brings the old Robin Crew back.

I admit, I feel like the curing of his parents was kinda anticlimactic. Like, if Metamorpho can synthesize a cure for Joker Gas, that guy needs to be on speed-dial. (Is he probably busy and hard to reach like every other hero trying to do this full time while maintaining a personal life? Probably? Would I offer him some of that Batman money to make some time every few weeks or so to examine all the various toxins and such used by multiple Gotham villains? Absolutely.) So, maybe that cure didn't work. Not permanently. A rare misread from Metamorpho, something that he could've and would've fixed ifnhed seen it. Maybe that gas mutates the victim over time, and if they stay dosed long enough, they start to relapse, even if cured. What if Duke's parents just have the occasional fit of mad laughter. Just an incident here, once or twice a month or so. But they seem to get longer each time, and then they start happening once a week. Twice a week. Every other day. And Duke is starting to freak out, running himself ragged on his off time to try to figure out what went wrong.

At some point, he recalls a case he was on that he never really got a chance to fully close out: The White Market. This place (seen in Batman - Case Files: Signal) was a whole villian swap meet, full of interesting gear, tools, spoils, and inventions, all hidden on a whole other wavelength that most people can't even see. Maybe some other villian has a cure-all for this kind of thing, or just something useful until Metamorpho gets free (the man muttered something about a "Danger Street" in one of the quickest phone calls Duke ever had, and Black Lightning and Katana are probably still on the same kind of stuff they were doing when Jason ran into them a few months back). Maybe, after some time has passed, they feel comfortable opening up a Gotham access point again, now that the heat seems to have died down.

Of course, there was a whole other half to that incident. Mainly that a Riko and Dax, somehow empowered by a tech billionaire, showed up to work the same case, Riko leeching Duke's powers to match the wavelength necessary to get into the White Market in the first place. Yeah, it ended with a blown cover and Duke getting beat bad enough that they were able to confirm he has a healing factor, but it's still unfinished business, and going toe to toe and blow for blow with people that used to be friends can't leave a good taste in his mouth. And it's not just Duke trying to figure it out. After all, you don't throw money like that into a project, and then scrap it, especially one of the steps in your plan is to jump a Bat (the new, daytime Bat, but still a bat). So they have to be still looking, right? If he can find a way into that tech guy's system, maybe he can get hold of some information he missed.

So, Duke has with a conversation with Tim about what Duke plans to do (because anybody else is busy (Nightwing running the Titans/League, Red Hood... "recovering"), out of the city (I think Batman is off world in comics at the moment? There's a current running comic about it. ), or might try to stop/join him (Oracle, Black Bat, and Spoiler, who have a Birds of Prey thing running right now, IIRC, and Robin, who's probably helping hold down the night shift). And Tim is all for it, willing to cover some things for him as long as Duke is sharing information and doesn't get himself killed. Duke makes sure Tim has Izzy's contact info and vice versa, and maybe emergency Hatch access, and he's out in the streets the next day, trying to find an access point for information on the place where he might find a cure for his parents. Only instead of a Bat over his shoulder, he's got Izzy in his ear and just his own skills in the field against assorted villians, another billionaire, and whatever he's still gotta deal with in the day to day to even have the time for this.

And all the while, there's a part of him thinking that maybe he can get the old crew back together instead. If they don't beat each other senseless on sight first, anyway.

Or maybe after. A win is a win.

#duke thomas #gotham city #dc comcis #batman #batfamily #dc signal #the signal

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quietlyimplode · 7 months

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The language of flowers and silent things

Whumptober 2023: Day 15 - I’m fine

Warnings: aftermath of recovery, discussion of red room procedures

Word Count: 2.4k (gif not mine)

Summary: Natasha recovers in Okinawa and tells Clint some of the horrors of her past. The relationship still young; she’s not sure he’s ready to hear it.

A/N: <3

Masterlist

Whumptober Masterlist

OKINAWA

2010

She dreams of drowning.

Water filling her lungs, pressure all around her.

She can’t take a deep breath.

“Breathe,” comes a whisper.

“Breathe.”

But it hurts, no one should be breathing in water.

Her arms are held by the water, a cruel taunt in trying to swim up for air, and she fights it, once, twice, then… arms like lead, she lets the water take her, absorbing her, drowning her.

It hurts, she thinks, but maybe she deserves it, and then sinks into unconsciousness.

She sleeps a lot.

Coulson comes and smooths things over; he pulls strings at the American airbase that Natasha is transferred to, and it allows them to be frank in conversations, rather than understanding half of it.

She wakes and seems to realise she’s in a hospital, looks for Clint and goes back to sleep. Even as they taper down the pain medication, she sleeps just as much.

Clint worries.

They tell him it’s just her body’s way of healing.

He thinks it’s more than that.

It’s worse than the dissociation, or seems to be, because she doesn’t talk to him, doesn’t respond to his questions and just goes through the motions when she is awake.

He doesn’t know what to do.

The nurses come and go, and the doctors give her a cursory check, and every time, she’s asleep.

At 2am, she watches him closely.

“I thought you’d be asleep,” she croaks.

He smiles and touches her hand gently.

“Where else would I go?” he whispers.

He doesn’t want to tell her that sometimes her nightmares make her thrash, and that the nurses are scared of her at nights, that he seems to be the only one to calm her.

He doesn’t tell her that he’s been so worried that he wants to bundle her up and take her away from the hospital because it seems to be causing harm, not to her body but to her mind.

So he just rubs his hands over the top of hers and then kisses it.

“Thank you for staying with me,” she says, staring.

He nods and kisses her hand again.

“Go back to sleep, Nat, I’ll be here.”

She has a fever.

She think he’s someone form the red room.

He spends the night telling her stories again.

Finds facts about the place.

She thinks she’s going to die.

Clint assures her she’s not.

“I want to leave,” she moans to Clint, half conscious and trying to get out of the bed.

A growl passes her lips as she looks around in anger.

“I want to leave,” she says, Clint looking on in sympathy.

“You’ve broken your ribs, a collapsed lung, and are recovering from surgery, as soon as we can ween you from the antibiotics you can go,” the doctor says in frustration.

“I understand hospitals aren’t your favourite place but leaving now, would be detrimental to your health.”

Blatantly, she ignores him.

“Can we go?” she asks, trying again, this time standing.

“Please?”

Clint’s heart pounds.

It feels like a test.

“I’ll take care of her, we have a place nearby, we can come back if there’s anything wrong,” he argues.

He just knows that this place is not good for her.

Nightmares nightly.

Dissociation daily.

They’ve been here almost two weeks and already he can see how much weight she’s dropped, only eating and drink enough to avoid further intervention.

The doctor stares, Natasha already out of bed, trying to pack things into a bag.

He swallows and then nods.

“Fine, but you’re going against medical advice. We can’t keep you here. Come back in three days for a check, and if okay next week, I’ll sign you off for flying,” he starts.

Turning to Natasha, he continues.

“Antibiotics, every 5 hours, with food. No skipping them. Strap your ribs, and keep the cast on your arm. Do not leave the country. They need at least another week. Do you know how painful the flight would be on delicate lungs with the altitude? Let alone flying with broken ribs on a plane? No, I repeat, no skipping the country.”

He turns to the nurse to draw up scripts and turns back.

“Three days.”

Clint nods, apprehension pulling at him, wondering if he’s up to the task of taking care of an injured friend, lover, whatever they are that’s slightly undefined.

“Three days,” he nods back.

“I’m fine,” she growls.

“Just let me help?” he replies, frustrated.

“No, I can do it, I…”

The cereal pours everywhere. Natasha stares at the little pieces going everywhere and he swears he sees her bottom lip trembling. She covers it, swearing instead, but he feels he knows she’s teetering on the edge.

“Go have a shower,” he sighs, “I’ll clean it, and then maybe we can go to the beach?”

She nods, stalking off before he can say another word and he sets to picking up all the tiny pieces.

He’s glad for the separation and the slight time alone, wondering at her capacity and if he needs to seek help from Coulson or Fury.

He knows some of the trauma and difficulties with hospitals, but he also feels he’s missing something. She’s getting better, but also, it’s like nothing he says, nothing he can do is helping.

They go back to the doctor tomorrow and whilst the last day has been better, it feels like it’s going downhill again.

It’s like before, when he first bought her into Shield, maybe not that bad but it feels akin to it.

He wanders into the small bedroom, and finds her sitting on the bed.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

She stares for a moment, then looks to him.

“I can’t have children,” she says abruptly.

It’s so left of field that Clint doesn’t answer straight away.

“I didn’t lie to you, but I didn’t know how to tell you,” she says quickly.

“What?” he says dumbly.

“In the Red Room, they take away your ability to have children. They call it Graduation. They put you in hospital, sedate you, and then celebrate the fact that they’ve just performed major surgery on you with another test. The last time.. The last time I spent so long in hospital was when they took…” she pauses.

“They took my choices. Any choices, for their own reasons and own gains.”

Natasha stares at her hands as she finishes and Clint feels the pieces fall into place.

“Nat…” he says dumbly, sitting next to her on the bed.

“You don’t have to say anything… and if this; whatever this is needs to stop and we can just be partners or not, you can decide that too, I just wanted you to know. I know… the last two weeks, I can’t… I couldn’t hold it together. But this, I think I needed you to know. I needed to tell you. It’s not fair. I don’t think I’ve ever been in a relationship like this and…” she sighs; stopping the tirade as he pulls her into a sideward hug.

“You think, that not being about to have children, that the evilness that others did to you, matter to me? That it would make any difference to how I see you, only to consolidate my view of how brave and strong you are?”

He shakes his head.

“You’re an idiot” he finishes.

She’s silent and he’s worried he’s said something wrong.

“Nat, hospitals - they’re not good for you are they?”

There’s tears that he can see on her face as she shakes her head.

“I should be better than this,” she says, shakily.

“They make me lose time, make me panic, the smell mostly, it becomes all I can think of. Gloves, the sound of the beeping on the machine, I see, hear and smell it and I’m back in the red room.”

There’s so much more that makes sense now, in her reactions at the hospital.

“I’m so sorry,” he apologises, “I didn’t know.”

She shrugs, “what could you have done? You got me out of the there.”

He wants to do more.

“For the record, the whole not being able to have children thing, doesn’t make a difference in how I feel about you. It doesn’t make you any less, and it certainly doesn’t change what this is between us.”

He sighs heavily, hugs her harder, and then stands, offering a hand.

“Tomorrow we have to go back,” he starts, “how will I know what to do for you?”

She frowns, “what do you mean?”

Clint thinks, remembers Coulson, when he was struggling with talking in therapy and words just seemed too hard.

“There’s like a traffic light system,” he ponders, “red for triggered, yellow for getting there and green for okay.”

He pauses feeling like he’s explaining it all wrong.

“I’m explaining this wrong.”

Natasha isn’t stupid, and she’s been in enough therapy that it makes sense to her.

“I have to go?” she says in a small voice, and he doesn’t want to make her with all his heart.

“An hour,” he promises, “a quick check and then we can come back, go to the beach and you can choose dinner.”

Not meeting his eyes, she nods.

“Okay,” she says quietly.

“And if you say red, we can leave, okay?”

She nods, a small movement.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks, feeling she wants to talk more but perhaps doesn’t have the words.

“Can we go to the beach,” she asks, “I don’t know how you got this house, or even have it this close to the beach but, I think it helps. It’s like a holiday.”

He smiles.

“It’s pretty cool isn’t it? We are on holiday, by the way. Fury knows we never take leave. We have two more weeks, so there’s not rush on anything. First we just need to get you off the antibiotics, those ribs healed and then we can go back, but because we are on leave, it doesn’t matter.”

There’s a small shift in mood as he tells her this.

“We aren’t going to get fired? You’re not going to get in trouble for staying with me?” she asks.

Clint laughs, derisively.

“You thought they’d fire us?”

She nods, slowly.

“Nat, we are the best two operatives they have, they’re not firing us. In fact, they sent Coulson, who fixed things and then he signed off on the house so we were safe.”

He helps her up.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t tell you before, I assumed that you’d assume we were okay, and you’d be on leave.”

Natasha shakes her head, and points to the bathroom.

“Join me?” she asks, pulling her shorts down, and moving away.

He laughs.

“Of course.”

He thinks it’s the ocean that helps to heal.

Small conversations on the Red Room, she indulges him with answering questions, and he only pushes so far.

It’s easier as they’re walking on the sand, to ask the harder ones.

She asks them back, and they grow closer. The time comes to an end and he calls in, Fury and Coulson sending through mission packets to the small house by courier.

Natasha sighs.

“I knew it was coming, but I don’t think I was ready,” she tells him on the last morning.

“This was my first holiday,” she confesses, “and I didn’t hate it.”

He laughs at her.

“I’m glad,” he says, opening his own mission packet and then watching as she opens hers.

“Separate missions,” he says glumly.

She nods, scanning the information.

“What do you know about Tony Stark?”

Clint swallows, he knows the name, just about everyone in the city does.

“Do you mean Iron Man?”

They both laugh, Natasha moving off the couch to grab the paperwork that she’d just picked up.

“It’s my next mission.”

She hands him the envelope and he grabs his.

“I’m going to New Mexico,” he returns.

“Why solo missions?”

He shrugs, grabbing his mug off the table and sitting down next to her.

“I don’t know.”

Natasha frowns.

“I think I just got used for working with someone.”

The last five weeks have certainly done wonders for team building, he thinks.

“Do you think it’s punishment?” Natasha asks.

“Okinawa was a shit show,” Clint admits, “maybe they’re testing us.”

He goes to refill his cup, lifting it to ask her if she wants one as he considers their words.

“Maybe not a test, maybe more that they want to see what we can do alone.”

She scans his paper.

“Avengers Initiative? Mine says that as well.”

Clint sits next to her, grabbing the paper and sighing, “Nah mine’s more boring, there’s a spike in geothermal land, and Fury thinks it’s alien.”

Natasha laughs, and then looks at his face.

“Oh, you’re serious,” she clarifies.

“It’s more about protection of the scientists, if it is alien,” he surmises.

She sits near him, flipping through the paper.

“They’re looking at you, for the Avengers,” she says reading further.

He laughs, easily.

“I think it’s us, they’re likely looking at, who better than an ex carney and a former Red Room graduate?”

She nods, “scraping at the bottom of the barrel, really.”

“Stark is up for it too,” she tells him.

“I’ve got to submit a portfolio, for the undercover shit,” she says, annoyed.

“And be hired.”

Clint smiles as he reads the parameters.

“God, Stark’s going to be a creepy man, isn’t he? He wants evidence of work, and they’ve put that he values modeling here.”

She groans.

“I’m good at taking photos,” he grins.

“Why can’t he be gay? Or married? Why models?” she complains.

“Nat, he’s going to take one look at you and hire you on the spot,” Clint assures.

“Come on, let’s spend our last day here before our flight, and when we get home, I’ll take your photos.”

Natasha stands, the bandages invisible under her top.

“Rich people suck,” she grumbles again.

“I know Fury has only done this to give me extra time, but still, I’d prefer your low ball mission to New Mexico rather than playing politics with Tony Stark and Pepper Potts.”

They make their way out, Clint checking twice that the door is locked.

“You never know,” he says, still grinning, “you might make a new friend.”

“Shut up,” she replies, throwing the car keys at him.

#whumptober2023 #no. 15 #I’m fine #natasha romanoff #clintasha #black widow #clint barton #my fic #hawkeye #natasha romanoff fic #fic recs #clintasha fanfiction #clintasha fanfic #clint barton x natasha romanoff #Natasha Romanoff x Clint Barton #marvel fic #avengers fic #black widow fix #red room

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ecoamerica · 2 months

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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ladylooch · 7 months

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Timo and Emma hot tub sex.

Whew!!!! This is hot 🥵 I'm not sorry for what this does to you. If it had to happen to me, it has to happen to you too!

Timo sinks deeper into the hot tub, letting his head fall back onto the edge as his eyes close. His body aches after training hard the last week. Tomorrow and Saturday are recover days, which he is thankful for. He can barely pick his kids up right now with how sore his chest and arms are. But, he wanted to add even more strength this off season, so it’s his own damn fault.

The sliding glass door opens and Emma steps out with two plastic cups of wine. She’s in her skimpy, white bikini causing her to stick out in the dark night.

“Fuck, baby.” He groans as he watches her slowly wade in. She keeps the wine up, smirking at Timo’s wanting eyes.

“You wanna?” She raises her eyebrows.

“In here?”

“Yeah. Be a little reckless like we used to before you knocked me up… twice.”

“Mmm, maybe I can again.” Emma looks down at the hot, bubbling water.

“I doubt it with this climate.” Timo rolls his eyes at her rational response.

“Give me a few more minutes. My body hurts.” Timo wishes he didn’t have to say that to her, but he’s not wanting to prolong his suffering. His eyes are closed again when Emma straddles his lap.

“Keep relaxing. I’ll do the work, baby.” Emma whispers to him. Her hands come to his neck, pushing his jaw up so she can work her mouth against his. He sighs into their kiss, bringing a hand to her ass. “I’ve been wanting you all day.” Emma says against his throat. “Had to take care of myself earlier.”

“Whoa? What?” Timo whines. “You should have called me.”

“I did. You were with Nico and ‘couldn’t talk right now’.”

“Fuck! You didn’t say….” He trails off when she slides her hand into his board shorts. She pulls back, watching his mouth drop open in pleasure. He hardens in her hand immediately. He licks his lips. “Kiss me.” He demands. She puts her mouth on him, hot and yearning as their tongues collide. “Tell me how you touched yourself.”

“I used my vibrator.”

“Which one.”

“The pink one.”

“I love using that one on you.”

“I know.” She grins, squeezing the base of his shaft.

“Had you cumming in under a minute the other night.” He wraps his large hand around her neck, forcing their kiss deeper and wetter with his tongue. Timo tugs at the bottom of her swimsuit, pulling it down her thighs until she has to lean back to take them off completely. Timo tosses them out of the hot tub with a wet slap against the concrete.

“Um…I am going to need those to get out.” She laughs. “No. Top stays on.” She bats his hands away from her neck ties. “We have neighbors.”

“Damn it.” He growls, then picks her up. His sore muscles groan as he sits her back atop his thighs with her back to his chest. Emma leans forward, bracing the heels of her hands between Timo’s thighs on the seat. She pushes herself up, letting Timo place himself at her entrance. He guides her back onto him and they both groan. The combination of the hot water and her hot pussy has Timo sweating. “Wooooow.” He moans as she begins to move. The water helps levitate her up and down easier. Timo lets his head fall back again, letting his wife fuck him like the vixen she is. She grinds on him, pretty noises escaping her lips into the Swiss night.

Timo strokes his fingers up her thigh, then out of the water. He leans slightly forward to cup her breasts, massaging them in his hands. He pinches her nipples, causing her bucking to falter. He takes over, forcefully thrusting into her while keeping her nipples clamped between his fingers. Emma reaches down, spreading her folds with her fingers to roll her clit. The hot tub bubbles splash over the sides as Timo’s powerful thighs push them closer to the edge.

“Fuck, Emma. You’re so tight like this.” His use of her full name and fervid tone have her core muscles tightening. “Feel so good around my cock, baby. Love when I get to have you like this. Couldn’t even wait until we were done in here to have me, huh? You think of this when you were touching yourself this morning.”

“Yeah.” Emma says blissfully, feeling the first flutter of her orgasm around him.

“That’s it. You’re taking me so well, baby. You can do it. Come undone for me.”

Emma whimpers as she takes him hard and deep. Her fingernails dig into the lower, thick part of his quads.

“T, I’m…” She can’t finish, collapsing into her orgasm with full force down onto him. Timo fucks her deep, barely pulling out as he finishes inside of her. As she continues to convulse on him, Timo gently pulls her back, letting himself fall out of her to keep her steady against his chest. He kisses the side of her wet neck and cheek, easing her down from her high in the warm climate. Emma slumps against him when her muscles finally relax.

“Fuck.” She whines, holding his face to hers.

“Mhm.” He chuckles. He brushes her damp hair away from her cheek. “You look so beautiful right now. Wanna mark you up.”

“Don’t you dare. We have family vacation coming up.”

“Your brother needs to get over himself. I saw hickeys on Lexi last week.”

“Hush.” Emma puts her hand over Timo’s mouth. “It’s my parents I care about.”

“Baby, we have kids.”

“So if Liv shows up at home with hickeys you’re okay with that?”

“Oh fuck no.”

“Exactly.”

“Well, we are married. Liv is never getting married.”

“She probably is, honey.”

“I don’t wanna talk about that. Let’s go start round two in the shower. Wanna taste you next.”

Emma stands up, no longer carrying about her lack of swimsuit bottoms. Timo chuckles, covering her from the side where the neighbor’s lights are on, then tossing her over his shoulder to bring her inside.

#Meier AU Celebration #tm: loving & leaving

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anabdaniels · 7 months

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Cowboytober Day 19- Praising

Paring: Agent Whiskey x Female Reader

Word counting: 2.6k

Rating: 18+

Warning: The following work contains mentions of post-partum blues and frustration towards the needed mode of delivery (c-section).

Masterlist

A/N: I'm so sorry for how long this is, I got carried away by the backstory. This can be read as the part two of Flufftober Day 19.

If you were going to be honest, your expectations about the first months of your newborn were the worst possible. Turned out that it wasn’t that bad. Of course, the nights were still being animated, especially when the baby woke up with colic, but luckily, your handsome cowboy made an excellent husband and father.

In the first weeks, you were strictly forbidden to do anything but breastfeed the baby and walk a bit around the ranch, since it was a medical recommendation to help you recover from the c-section. Anything out of those two things would end up with Jack asking a hundred times if you were feeling okay and really didn’t prefer to let him do it. Sometimes you got close to getting irritated with him, but then you pondered for a moment and realized that he was just concerned about your well-being.

When your daughter was 4-months-old, things were starting to get calmer; her sleep was becoming more consistent, her episodes of colic were pretty rare, and, in a general aspect, Katherine was a pretty calm baby, only crying when her little tummy wasn’t that good was for some stuck gas or because she was hungry or when she remained too long without being snuggled by you or Jack.

But a peaceful baby didn’t mean that you didn’t have any problems to deal with.

Even after 4 months, you were still frustrated with the fact that you couldn’t have a natural delivery, even after all the times you and Jack talked about it and he reassured you endlessly that you shouldn’t martyrize yourself so much about something you had no control about, the subject was still living rent-free on your head. Such as your schism with the scar left from the c-section. There was nothing wrong with it, but to your paranoia, it didn’t matter, you’d always see it as a defect in you.

Jack had plenty of awareness of your mean thoughts about yourself and had spent a considerable time planning that night out in the city. You two had spent the last four months going out just for medical appointments and to do the groceries, a little time out without worries about diapers or a shopping list was a needed pause for both of you. Not surprising Jack at all, Ginger and Tequila didn’t even think twice before accepting to take care of their self-proclaimed niece.

“Are you two sure that you can handle it?” Jack asked while observing Ginger and Tequila absorbed watching Katherine sleeping on the baby stroller.

“You kidding? Have you forgotten I’m the older of three siblings? I’m a specialist on babies, Whiskey.” Tequila said in a convinced tone, still observing Katherine asleep.

“And I’m here to make sure he’ll not steal Katherine’s toys, so we’ll be fine.” Ginger completed calmly, also looking at Katherine.

“Something tells me that we’ll have some trouble to get our baby back.” You said observing the scene.

“Maybe you will.” Ginger turned to look at you “But what are you two still doing here?” she said while approaching you and Jack, guiding both of you to the door.

“Are we being kicked out of our own house?” Jack questioned raising one eyebrow.

“Yes.” Ginger answered naturally while opening the front door and gently putting you and Jack out “And you two better not show up here before the morning.” Before both of you even had the chance to answer, Ginger closed the door. You and Jack just looked at each other and laughed before going to the car.

---------------------

Safe to say that the night was running perfectly: a little walk around the city while talking about the most random things possible, a good dinner in a fancy restaurant, and the last stop was on a comfortable suite in a luxury hotel. Jack never failed to deliver amazing date nights.

“I have to give you the reason this time.” You said while playing with his hair, sitting sideways on his lap “We really needed to get out of home a little bit.”

“I thought you believed more in my observing skills.” Jack chuckled and kissed your shoulder, keeping his arms around your waist.

“I believe them.” You said calmly and looked away. Jack frowned and caressed your back.

“What’s the matter, honey?” he asked softly, making you look back at him.

“If I ask you something, can you give me an honest answer?” after he nodded, you took a deep breath before questioning “How bad is it?”

“You mean?” Jack asked with a confused look.

“My appearance since I gave birth.” You said calmly, looking away again “I mean, you haven’t made any move since I got cleared by the doctor to have sex again, not even tonight.” Your declaration for sure got Jack off guard, and Jack needed to ponder for a moment before answering.

“Honey, you’re turning this inside out.” He started calmly and kissed your cheek “First things first, don’t you think I don’t want you desperately because I do. The thing is, I know you’ve been dealing with a lot in the last few months. I know you still mulling over the fact that you had to go into a c-section and that the scar annoys you really much, so, the most I desire you, I’d never turn this into another thing to bother you, sugar.” Jack cupped your cheek with his hand, making you look at him “I’m fine with wait as long as it’s necessary. I want you to feel good about yourself and enjoy it, so, if you need four more months for that, I’ll wait. You’re the love of my life, the mother of my little princess, nothing is more important to me than your happiness.”

You couldn’t disguise your slight shock with all the information you received. You didn’t expect him to know so well what was going on in your mind, Jack for sure always had been a good observer, but you were sure that you had managed to keep your thoughts to yourself.

“I wasn’t expecting that.” You admitted with a surprised smile, settling better on his lap, getting mounted on his thighs, and resting your hands on his shoulders.

“C’mon, sugar, if you had taken a single look at your ass after you gave birth, I wouldn’t need to tell you all that.” You couldn’t hold back a hearty laugh, shaking your head.

“I hate you sometimes, Jack.” You said while still smiling, observing the smirk on his lips.

“Hate me as much as you want, but you can’t deny that my techniques are effective.” He answered in the cocky manner you loved so much and rested his hands on your thighs.

“You might have a point, but now back to business.” You said while settling better on his lap “I don’t think I’ll need four more months.”

“I’m seeing that, honey.” Jack raised his eyebrows, still smirking and moving his hands up on your body “Especially having your cleavage so close to my face.” He said while cupping your breasts softly.

“I didn’t hear your complaint about it.” You said with a sideways smile while undoing his tie and starting to unbutton his shirt.

“I’d never be that crazy, mainly now with this whole breastfeeding thing doing wonders here.” He said quietly, leaning forward to kiss the skin of your breasts that was exposed on your cleavage.

“You had no single crumb of decency left.” You said in a chuckle “I like it.”

“I know you do.” He said looking up to you, moving one hand to the back of your neck, and kissing you passionately.

And it was more than enough for you to forget any possible concern left.

You allowed yourself to dive in on the moment, enjoying the feeling of Jack’s hands and body all over you. Without even realizing it, you kept what you were doing before, getting rid of his shirt and moving your hands down to undo his belt. Also, not wasting time, Jack moved one hand to the zipper of your dress, opening it and taking it off your body without a second thought, promptly doing the same with your underwear. You moaned quietly when he placed you lying on your back on the bed, caressing the sides of your body and looking at you with a wide smile.

“You’re so beautiful, honeybee. I love you so much.” He whispered close to your mouth, biting your bottom lip and moving forward to kiss your neck slowly, making you unable to do anything but grab his hair and sigh loudly.

Despite his growing desire, Jack held himself back, moving slowly down your body and touching your body gently, aware that you were still very sensitive, not only on the physical aspect. But that didn’t prevent him from savoring every inch of your skin, kissing and nibbling every place he could reach, making you squirm and moan quietly, pulling his hair without even noticing.

Once he reached your lower stomach, Jack couldn’t prevent himself from kissing the scar of your c-section as he always had been tempted to do, not only to remind you that there was nothing wrong with it or because it had been the solution for you and the baby to get out from the labor safely but because he genuinely found it beautiful. You could feel your heart racing a bit while feeling all his attention tuned to that spot you’ve tried to avoid so much the last months.

When Jack finally moved to where you desperately needed him, you couldn’t contain your reflex of squeezing his head between your thighs while whimpering audibly and pulling his hair. And, Jack being Jack, loved your genuine reaction and of course, he would do his best to make you react even more, turning all his attention to your sensitive throbbing clit, while letting his fingertips circle your wet entrance.

At that point you were all messed up, contorting on the bed, pulling his hair, arching your back, and unable to contain your moans. Being away from him on the sexual field for four months certainly hadn’t helped with your self-control, but Jack wasn’t being exactly cooperative while smoothly sliding his fingers inside you and curling them to hit that precise spot that never failed to make you lose your composure. And it wouldn’t be different that time.

You just focused on enjoying every feeling you could get from the moment, noticing your involuntary movements getting more intense but unable to control them. You tangled your fingers in Jack’s hair, pulling it hard and squeezing his head even more between your thighs as you got taken aback by that intense orgasm. Jack smiled satisfied seeing you melted on the bed with your breath out of rhythm.

Calmly, he moved on the bed to lay at your side, caressing your face softly. You opened your eyes slowly and looked at him with a satisfied smile.

“Don’t look at me like that, you’re already pretty enough without making any effort.” He said quietly and kissed you softly, making you moan when you tasted yourself on his lips.

“I have a doubt.” You said quietly against his lips “Why haven’t you got rid of your vacuum-packed jeans yet?” he chuckled and shook his head.

“You’re getting way too audacious, little lady.” Jack said with a smirk but didn’t hesitate to get rid of his remaining clothes.

“You’re too well-behaved tonight for my taste.” You teased as he crawled on the bed, getting on top of you.

“Can you blame me? I have the most beautiful lady with me, of course, I’ll behave well.” He teased back with that charming smirk.

“You need to take it easy with your flirt.” You said while passing your arms around his neck.

“Now you’re asking for too much.” He said as if it was serious and leaned to kiss you.

You whimpered quietly as you felt him moving slowly inside you, and sank one hand on his hair, tightening your other arm around his neck even though your whole body relaxed with that amazing feeling.

“You’re okay, honey?” Jack asked quietly against your lips while caressing your waist. You just nodded and kissed him again, starting to get highly needy of him once more.

Jack for sure was caught off guard by your reaction, but followed your rhythm, kissing you passionately while caressing and groping every part of your body he could reach, feeling his heart racing considerably, not only for the physical effort, but because have you so relaxed into the moment after all the harsh moments you had been through could make Jack cry genuine happy tears if he thought too much about it.

If you had to say, you wouldn’t remember when you had hooked your legs on Jack’s hips, wanting him the closest possible from you. When both of you needed a moment to catch a breath, you for sure got slightly melted when Jack rested his forehead on yours, looking deep into your eyes. Conscious about the emotional and psychological weight all of that had on you, Jack wouldn’t waste the chance to remind you of how much he loved and appreciated you.

“You’re so amazing, honeybee. I love you so much.” His velvety voice whispering that by itself was already enough to affect you, but with his warm brown gaze staring straight into your eyes, it for sure had hit you a hundred times harder, making you unconsciously pull him closer with your legs and arms.

Seeing you craving for him that much, Jack allowed himself to move slightly faster and move one of his hands over your skin more intensely, while the other moved down to between your legs, rubbing your clit at the same pace of his thrusts, turning you into a complete mess of moans, whimpers, and spasms, giving him an incredible opportunity of ruin your rationality even more.

“My pretty lady is enjoying herself so much.” Jack kept his low tone, aware of its effects on you “You look so beautiful like that, sweetheart, even more than you already usually do.” He moved his free hand to your face, gently holding your jaw to keep your face the closest possible of his, wanting all your attention just to push you even closer to your limit “You feel so good, sugar, and I love you so much, I could never ask for a better wife.”

That hit you harder than you could ever imagine.

The incredible feeling of finally having his body joined to yours again for itself was already more than you could bear, but that amount of praising was definitely more than you could deal with. You could only surrender to the incredible number of feelings, scratching the back of his neck and pulling his hair as you moaned loudly and closed your eyes hard, feeling your legs trembling slightly as you enjoyed your orgasm.

Jack was having a tough time trying to contain himself and, when he saw that astonishing vision of you moaning and contorting under his body, he just sank his face on the curve of your neck and groaned hoarsely against your skin as he came inside you.

After being able to recover his breath and rationality, Jack leaned to the side, pulling you close to his chest, kissing your forehead, and caressing your back. You still were boneless and lazy, so the most you could do was nestle against him and look at him with a soft and happy expression, sighing when he caressed your cheek.

“It’s so good to see this adorable look on your face again.” He said calmly, still caressing your cheek.

“I think you’ll need to plan a few more date nights for us.” You said while letting your fingers draw senseless forms on his skin.

“Trust me, sugar. I already have another twenty plans.” Jack winked at you with a smirk and pressed a soft kiss on your lips.

Cowboytober Masterlist

#kinktober #kinktober 2023 #agent whiskey #agent whiskey fic #agent whiskey x reader #agent whiskey x you #jack daniels #jack whiskey daniels #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #kingsman: the golden circle #pedrostories

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resiliencewithin · 1 month

Text

April

Oh April

I need to reframe you.

I’ve been spiralling 🌀 since Thursday. I’ve woken up in the middle of the night with an anxiety attack, had two crying episodes and had an impending sense of doom flavoured by complete overwhelm and catastrophizing. Just drowning.

Okay.

Reframe April as a “test.” I have not had this many demands on my time in a while (personal, professional and social— oh my!). Though the last 3 days may not show it, I’ve made a lot of progress, so let’s put that progress to the test. What are my limits? What can I handle? Even if this test is a complete “failure,” it will be informative for the future.

Reframe socializing as fun. When I look at April all my brain is seeing is introvert hell. Houseguests?! Twice?! Socializing multiple times a week?! Objectively, there is very little time for myself. However, I have to remember that these social moments, while draining, will also bring enjoyment and connection. Like last night’s wine tasting! And postponed Easter!

Reframe my view of myself as capable. I recently bossed a stressful, overloaded week. I came out of it virtually unscathed. I can do hard things. I know my brain is struggling to believe it because it sees a month of overload before it, not a week, but hey… maybe I can handle that too.

Things that will help:

Remembering that burnout is not an inevitability but a worse case scenario/catastrophic thought. I am not psychic. I don’t know how the month is gonna go.

But if I do burnout and need to recover from it (that sucks) I can because I have from much worse than anything this month can do.

Hold as fast to bed time as I can. Sleep will be important.

Find or make (boundaries!) pockets of self care and alone time where I can recharge. Be sure to savour and appreciate them.

Limit ‘whole month’ thinking/planning/obsessing. Yes, some future thought is necessary but dwelling in it is not. One hour at a time.

#mental health #mental illness #positivity #self love #self care #resiliencewithin struggles

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anjuschiffer · 10 months

Note

for hanahaki week (since you mentioned requests) may i request daminette as a pairing? they just give me very strong “i would rather suffer through this than admit my feelings” vibes

Ask and you shall receive...hope you enjoy this fic :D

Also, I had a more "morbid" ending but scrapped it :p

Pair of Fools, Don't You Know Loving Someone Can Kill You?

Tags: @toodaloo-kangaroo @vixen-uchiha @elijahcrevan

-AO3-

“Love? Where did this come from?” Ladybug laughed as she looked out towards the city of Paris, Robin once again noticing the weary look in the older hero’s eyes.

True, their patrols lately have been going long into the night, but Damian had seen that look before, or rather, he’s never seen that look ever leave her eyes since the day he met her.

In the short three months in which they have been together, that was the only look in her eyes that Damian had ever seen in them. Even when she would grin from ear to ear or wake up from a nap an hour before patrol started…that look haunted her eyes.

In the three months Damian was paired with Ladybug to help with her mission to take down Hawkmoth, she always looked tired and distant despite her sunshine persona she held whenever she was around him, talking to his father or the Justice League and even fellow older teens.

But it wasn’t the look you would see on someone after a long day of patrol or after winning a long standing battle against a villain…

It was a look he had seen once before…

In his father…

And even his mother…

A melancholic look of reminiscence…or yearning… “Why the sudden interest in love talk?” She gave him a grin, a grin Grayson would give him whenever he would tease him. And even if they were the same type of grin, hers made his gut flip a bit. “Got a girl you like? Is it that girl who wanted you to join their detective club at school? I know there may be a two year gap between our generations, but I think I can still give you some solid advice if you need any.”

Damian scoffed.

“That’s the same thing Gr-Nightwing told me.” He turned his head to see the city quietly bustle beneath them. “But that’s besides the point. There’s no one. Love is just a distraction and a weakness. I’ll never allow myself to fall in love if it means endangering the mission and making me incapable of doing my job properly.” He said, knowing he was just saying that to keep himself in line.

He doubted she would ever agree with him.

“Got that right.” Or maybe not.

“Are you saying that from experience?” When he turned to look at her, he didn’t expect her to look at him with sorrow in her eyes.

“I guess you’re right…Evil never rests, so our jobs require all of our attention, no distractions allowed.” Damian continued to look at Ladybug, watching how the night slowly breezed by her, her short low ponytail swaying ever so slightly with the wind. “You’d think I would’ve known that from the amount of heartbreaks I’ve been through,” Ladybug gave out a soft chuckle, “but what can I say?” He felt his heart stop when her eyes softened ever so slightly. Her eyes seemed to have recovered a bit of a glow to them as she looked at him. “I’ve always been a hopeless romantic after all.”

Oh…is that…is that the reason behind that look? Because of love? Is that what she wanted so badly?

“You’ve been in love before?” Robin asked, causing Ladybug to whole heartily laugh louder, Robin feeling heat crawl to the tips of his ears.

“Who hasn’t been, Robin? Pretty sure everyone has fallen in love once or twice in their lives…I sure have.” But shortly after she said that, her smile fell, Robin noticing the spark in her eyes fade away. “Haven’t you?”

“No.” Robin confessed too quickly for his liking. “Although, my brother says it’s like a blanket, like an extra layer of warmth that envelopes you…Did it feel like that to you as well?” He dared to ask, hoping it would bring back that spark into her eyes. It suited her better than the yearning in her eyes.

He watched as Ladybug opened her mouth agape to speak, only to shut it and take a deep breath. She looked back to the cityscape.

“It depends on the person, really.

My second love felt like a bag of butterflies swarming my insides whenever I saw him. When I tried to speak to him, it felt like I could not breathe, my heart beated so loudly in my ears that I couldn’t even concentrate on my thoughts and fumbled on my words like an idiot.” She smiled, an actual smile. “And yet, he felt just like how your brother described love to be.

Warm.

Gentle.

And when we dated…it was blissful…” Her smile faded. “Or at least the first few times it was.”

“Was?”

“We broke up after a few weeks. We couldn’t stay with each other due to some difference in our ‘principles’…even if he claimed to still have loved me despite my opinions on his views.”

“That’s absurd!” Damian yelled, causing Ladybug to jump and turn to him. “What kind of imbecile does that?”

“What are-”

“If you truly wanted something, someone, wouldn’t you do anything to try and obtain it? To keep it? Fight for it? Or at least come to a compromise to stay together?” Damian raged, realizing that was unbecoming of him. “At least…that’s what I gather from the talks I would have with those in relationships…”

He watched her blink a few times before giving him a small smile.

“If only that were always the case, but…love doesn’t work that way.” Ladybug placed a hand on his shoulder. “In love…sometimes…sometimes, even if the two individuals love each other…it doesn’t always work out.”

“So they just give up on the relationship? On each other?” Ladybug shook her head.

“Even if the two of you do understand where you come from, even if you try to talk it out, if neither party points out the elephant in the room, if there is no sense of trust in the relationship, someone is bound to get hurt…sometimes both.” A gloss covered her eyes. “They may be your rock when things get hectic in your life, your lullaby after a hard day at school…but they should never feel as if they’re the only ones trying to keep an effort of making the relationship work while you try to balance your two lives…especially when they didn’t have a way to protect themselves from your nemesis any more.” Damian’s eyes widened when he connected the dots.

“You dated one of your partners?”

“Yea. Although, he didn’t know my identity until after the break up. Although, to be honest, I think he was onto me when we were dating.”

“Onto you?”

“He pieced it himself, actually.” Ladybug said with a smile. “He figured I was hiding something after analyzing the amount of times I would flake on a date, and be late to otherwise easy-to-walk-to places. When he confronted me about it, I simply told him I couldn’t tell him what it was.

That one question…that one doubt led to us breaking up.”

“But then how did he figure out your identity?”

“Funny enough, during an akuma attack. He never told me how, but he knew. And because he knew, he endangered himself and became a target…almost got captured for knowing my identity… and that’s when I realized…I wasn’t meant to fall in love…

If I want to save Paris…I can’t afford to be in a relationship…not until we’re done dealing with Hawkmoth, that is. And even then, dating while being a hero doesn’t seem possible for me…not even now.” Ladybug admitted, looking back at the city.

The two stood there in silence, Damian feeling more awkward by the second, deciding to speak in hopes of filling the void.

“You mentioned a second and third love…whatever happened to your fir-“

“He, on the other hand, was a complete jerk!” Ladybug immediately spat out, causing Robin to jump. “Just thinking about what he- ugh!” Ladybug huffed. “You know what he did?” She didn’t wait for Robin to respond. “So I invited over to the neighborhood pool, because I kinda had a crush on the guy, you know? And we were in what would be considered in the US as middle school, so there weren’t many places we could spend time in. Anyways…

We’re having fun swimming, splashing about, the regular games you play at the pool, right? That’s when we decided to dive from the highest diving board they had, which for the record was pretty high for middle school me. While it was roughly 5 meters in height, which is kind of around 16 feet - besides the point!

We’re on the top and mind you everything was going well, Kim was being very nice to me, being a gentleman. Just as we’re about to dive, he stops me and kneels.

And of course, I’m panicking because not only is he kneeling, he’s got a small box in his hand and has the shyest face on as he stretched it out towards me.

He starts talking about how much fun he had today, how happy he was spending time with me…he asked me to be his girlfriend. And before I could answer him, he opened up the gift.”

Damian watched an unshed tears pooled into her eyes, a dry laugh escaping her. “You know what was inside that box?

Fucking spiders. A dozen tiny spiders crawled from out of the box and jumped onto my arms and body and because I was frantically trying to get them off of me,” Ladybug laughed again, a tear slipped down her face. “I slipped off the diving board, water filling my lungs the moment I hit the water.

A lifeguard had to help me out because of how frantic I was the minute I submerged, my arms flailing about as I clawed at the surface and gulped water into my lungs.

The funny part of it all? I wasn’t mad about falling off the diving board. I was angered at the fact that Kim did it because Chloe told him to do it because it would be “a funny prank,” even though he knew I've been deathly terrified of spiders since we were toddlers.

He was suppose to be my friend, he knew about the things I hate and yet…yet he took-”

“So he’s the reason you declined the pool invite those months ago,” Robin snarled, recalling her great deference to attending a pool party held by Garfield. “If it weren’t for him-” Robin didn’t expect to get tackled by Ladybug, freezing upon feeling her arms wrapped around him.

Despite the girl being older, she just barely passed his shoulders.

“Thank you.” He heard her softly whisper. “Out of all the people who I’ve told this to, you’re the only one who has gotten angry for me…” He attempted to hug her back, but instead awkwardly just placed a hand on her back. “Everyone else told me I should’ve seen it coming since it was Kim…so… thank you.”

All Robin could do was hum in response, fearing his voice would crack if he were to tell her that he would make sure he would not allow that to happen to her as long as he was by her side.

“-reason why she didn’t go to go was all because of that damned-”

“So you like her?” Dick asked with a Ceshaire grin, Damian whipping his head to look at his brother as if he’d grown a second head.

A week had passed since his conversation with Ladybug, Damian catching Dick up on the important news of the week while they hung out in Damian’s room.

“Didn’t think you’d be into older girls. Don’t blame you. They certainly-”

“I tolerate her!” Damian corrected, feeling the tips of his ears burn. “And she’s only two years older than me!”

“You said it, not me.”

“And apparently you can’t listen because if you had been paying attention, you would have known she doesn’t have time to fraternize. Not with Hawkmoth being her main concern.” Damian went silent, Dick only then realizing he might have pushed it a bit too much.

“Actually, I was listening. For example, you mentioned an art gallery and how you were applied to have some of your arts displayed. Any luck on that?”

Hours passed until Dick had to leave to go back to Bludhaven to cover for a colleague at the precinct, leaving Damian all on his own and with his thoughts.

So you like her?

The question kept replaying in his head, Damian struggling to find an answer.

While it was true that he did indeed tolerate her, it was different from his other forms of toleration.

He didn’t mind her random spurts of humming when they would take a break during patrol, the way she would take over a mission when she would notice that something is off with him.

He liked the way she would confidently take over briefings when the adults would take too long squabbling over deciding which members would take on the mission, the way she would take the time to train anyone who wanted to improve their skills…

He…he…he liked

Suddenly, he couldn’t breathe.

Quickly sprinting off of his bed, he ran to the bathroom.

Damian grabbed the sides of the sink with dear life as his head jerked forward, feeling his lungs push out all of the air within them. The air hacked itself out of him, Damian feeling the dryness in the back of his throat as something tried to come out.

The lump in his throat remained there for what seemed to be minutes, Damian panicking with each second that passed.

He could see his vision blur as he felt tears trickle out of his eyes as he stood over the sink, waiting for something, anything to come out of his mouth because this…this wasn’t normal.

He hated every second that passed by that he spent feeling like this.

Finally, after what seemed like an hour, something came out.

A single pink petal landed at the base of the sink, a single speck of blood adorned it.

Finally feeling the constraintment in chest lighten up, Damian looked at himself in the mirror, saliva running down his mouth. His eyes were puffy and red tears pooled at the corners of his eyes.

Gently picking the bloodied petal to distract himself from his appearance, Damian inspected it.

How did this come out of him? When did he ever consume a flower? Was this even possible?

And why now?

The last thing he could think of was realizing what Richard had said clicked something in his mind regarding Lady-

Ladybug.

Damian stared at the petal.

No.

No way.

Throwing the petal into the trash, Damian thought it to be best to ignore this.

To forget the dots he had just then connected about himself.

To try and forget that it ever happened.

Even when the episode happened again two weeks later when an old partner appeared under a new disguise to help them take down Hawkmoth.

When more petals poured out of his mouth a week later when she confessed she had a slight crush on a League member but wouldn’t tell him who.

When breathlessness started to happen more quickly, when her concern over him caused the pain to grow more in his chest.

When the internet couldn’t help him out while trying to ignore the flirting she was doing in front of him with his older brother once he joined their patrol.

He couldn’t ignore it any longer when the episodes started to become more frequent as they got closer to identifying Hawkmoth.

He finally had to address it when after taking down Hawkmoth, the pain in his chest became unbearable to the point that he collapsed as soon as they got back to their base.

He stared at the white ceiling above him, wondering why this had to happen to him of all people.

Why did he fall in love with her?

And why…

Why couldn’t she have fallen in love with him…

Why his brother?

Perhaps…he could ask her when he wakes up…or maybe after the surgery…but for now, he wanted to sleep and forget about the ache in his chest.

Jon sighed, still trying to take in the sight of his best friend of five years.

Never did he ever think he would see Damian in a hospital bed. Hell, he never thought Damian would ever be in a hospital.

Needles were taped to his arms, leading towards the IV bags hanging near his bed. The sound of the ventilator filled the room, unnerving Jon as he stared at the tubes covering Damian’s face while he drifted to sleep once again. “Why didn’t you say anything? Of when it first started?” Jon ran his hands through his hair, trying his best to keep his tears in.

Why did he have to go through this alone? Didn’t he trust him? Weren’t they friends? “Are you going to let this kill you? What about Marinette? Don’t you plan on telling her how you feel, you idiot?”

The sound of metal clanging filled the room, Jon quickly picking up his head to see Marinette walk into the room, her wide eyes staring at him.

“Marinette…what are you-“

“Damian…Damian-“

“How much did you hear?” Jon asked.

“I- just the last-“ Tears ran down her face, Marinette attempting to wipe them off as more continued to run.

When she heard Robin had been rushed to the hospital after the fight with Hawkmoth, she could only think that he must’ve gotten badly wounded from the fight that couldn’t be treated back in the base.

Her plans to ask if he was free the next week were completely cast aside, Marinette knowing she would have to apologize to Nightwing for wasting his time and helping her arrange the damned hangout after finally confessing to him that she had feelings for the younger Bat…

Then again, she could always ask another day.

After all, Robin’s well being came first.

When she rushed to the Tower, she asked if she could see him, where he was, but she was denied. But that didn't stop her from trying every day for a week, only to be told no each and every time.

It wasn’t until another few days that she was finally asked to leave, benched from every mission until she calmed down.

It wasn’t until another week later when Nightwing stopped by her balcony to tell her the news.

That Robin was suffering from some unknown disease that he had been dealing with for the past half year.

A disease that no one could place a name onto, that no one knew of. Or at least no one but her and Master Fu. When Nightwing heard this, he started to cry, using her shoulder to ground himself.

Perhaps she had the solution to help Robin, his little brother… so with his permission, Marinette was able to find out where Robin was this entire time…where Damian was this entire time…

Seeing him on the brink of death was not something she thought she would ever see…ever…

Nor how she would come to find out was his identity under the mask…

“He didn’t want you to know.” Jon softly stated as he watched Marinette crouched to pick up the metal flask she dropped earlier. “Never did. He’s scheduled for a surgery later this week to-“

“They know what he has?” Marinette asked with hope brimming her words.

“They don’t know what exactly it is he has, but from what Dick told me, it seems like something in his lungs-”

“Flower petals.” She interjected, tripping Jon. “His lungs are filled with flower petals, aren’t they?”

“How do you know-”

“Because it happened to me.” Marinette said, placing the flask on a nearby table. “Or rather, I have it as well.” Jon jumped off his chair and grabbed her shoulders.

“What do you mean you have it too? When did- how-”

“I’m not sure when I got it, but when the first flower petal came out of me, I ran to my mentor and told him about it. He told me he would look into it. A month passed when he finally found an answer. It doesn’t have a name but it has been documented a rare amount of times.

A disease that causes flower petals to grow inside one's lungs and when left untreated, fills them to the point of suffocation and eventually…death. Til this day, no one is sure of the actual cause of the disease.”

“You said ‘if left untreated.’ So it’s curable? Are you cured?” Marinette shook her head.

“Thankfully, the disease has to do a bit with magic so there was a method developed to help reduce the effects of it, so my mentor has been able to suppress a few of the side effects with tea.” Marinette looked at the flask she brought in. “When Dick told me about what was going on, I begged my mentor to make a batch for Damian, thinking it might help, but to be completely honest…I don’t-”

The cardiogram in the room started to go off, the machine beeping rapidly with each passing second.

Marinette could only stand and listen as Jon ran outside, screaming for help, watching as someone pushed past her and towards Damian while someone else had grabbed her and tried to pull her outside. But the minute they grabbed her, she refused to move from her palace in the room, standing her ground.

She watched as they tried to bring him back to life, but when the sharp ringing that emitted from the cardiogram filled the room…she knew it was too late…

He wasn’t going to come back…

She wasn’t going to be able to tell him that she-

Marinette felt as something quickly rose to her throat, Marinette lurching forward as she hurled out a handful of small narrow and curved purple flower petals, horror filling her up when she saw blood glittering them as her mind was able to remember where she had seen that petal before.

Without a second thought, she screamed.

She had been walking through Wayne Botanical Garden, trying to clear her head after another failed attempt to visit Robin. She knew he was Gotham, but the answer was where. What hospital could he even be in?

Deciding to sit down and just sketch to further clear her mind, her eyes drifted to a small patch of purple flowers, Marinette getting up to further inspect the tiny flowers. As if waiting for her, Marinette noticed the sign next to it.

Hyacinthus orientalis, or the common hyacinth, is a fragrant flowering plant that blooms early to mid-spring. Hyacinths produce showy flowers in shades of blue, purple, white, pink, and red. However, despite their vibrant colors, they are mostly associated with youth, beauty, and short lives cut tragically short. Especially purple hyacinths.

Purple hyacinths can symbolize multiple things, including sorrow and a desire for forgiveness. They are mostly given to let someone know you recognize you messed up or are looking for forgiveness.”

A few days passed by, Bruce standing before Damian’s grave, wondering where it went all wrong…why Damian?

Why was he taken away from him?

Why didn’t he notice something was wrong with his son until it was too late?

Bruce jumped when a hand touched his shoulder, making him turn to see who it was.

“Dick.”

“You have to stop blaming yourself Bruce. No one could’ve known what he was going through. He did an excellent job of hiding it from everyone…even me…”

“But I should’ve noticed. I’m his father.” Bruce argued. “And,” he felt his heart churn, “and yet I failed him. I failed you, my children, yet again.”

Dick opened his mouth to speak, but chose to shut it when he couldn’t think of anything to try and console his father. Seconds passed by as neither of them dared to speak, only for the notification of a phone cut through the tension.

It took a moment for Dick to realize that it was his phone that pinged.

“Oh, it’s Luka. It seems like Marinette’s surgery went well…should we go and see how she’s doing?”

Bruce didn’t know what to do nor what to think when he heard Marinette’s laughter ring beyond the door that stood between the two, his grip tightening on the doorknob.

How dare she laugh.

She was there minutes before Damian died.

She had a remedy to help with the side effects of a disease he didn’t know of but she did.

Why didn’t she help Damian?

Why?

Why couldn’t that be Damian?

Why couldn’t he be the one on the other side of the door?

Why was she the one to survive the illness that plagued the two of them?

“Mr. Wayne, are you okay?” Luka spoke up, causing Bruce to loosen his death grip on the doorknob.

“Luka.” Bruce wondered what expression he had on to make the usually aloof teen to be on his guard. “Dick told me that Marinette’s surgery…went well.”

“Or at least, that’s what we thought when we first talked to her after she woke up from surgery.”

“What do you mean by that?” Luka turned the doorknob, signaling Bruce to follow him.

“You’ll see what I mean when you see her.”

Upon Bruce entering the room, he could feel the atmosphere shift, noticing her parents acknowledge him with a curt nod while Marinette herself just stared at him with large eyes.

“M.Wayne, wh-what are you doing here?” She let out a gasp, Bruce seeing the blood drain from her face. “Oh, is…is this about the commission pieces you ordered from me months ago?” Marinette hung her head. “I know I’m behind and I know the suit just needs a bit more of embroidery, but I promise-”

“Marinette. This isn’t…this isn’t about my commission. I came to- is that the last thing you remember about me?” Bruce asked, wondering why his gut was starting to turn.

“Umm…yes?” Marinette guessed. “I also remember about a few fittings with you and your fiance, a few other meetings regarding a few alterations to the suit…but…but that’s all that I can recollect at the moment…”

Bruce walked closer to the hospital bed, noticing a scar peaking past the collar line of the hospital gown she was wearing.

“Marinette…do you remember…do you remember the other person who would accompany me to these fittings besides Selina?” Bruce couldn’t help but notice Sabine let out a quiet sob, turning her head away in shame into Tom’s shoulder.

Even Tom looked away from Bruce, causing alarms to go off in his head.

“Well…there was Richard…”

“Don’t…don’t you remember Damian?”

“Damian?” Marinette tilted her head, her mind in deep thought before looking straight at Bruce. “Who’s Damian?”

#maribat #daminette #hanahaki au

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englishstrawbie · 2 years

Text

#kacytober: OCT28 - paint

Follows on from OCT10 - mornings

It takes several weeks for Lucy’s wounds to start to heal. Her ribs are still sore and the cuts to her face leave a faint scar, but she is feeling well enough to go back to work. Jane will only let her do admin work for at least the next month. She gets it, even though she hates being stuck at her desk. It is the closest they have come to losing one of their team and it has rattled them all.

Kai is home now, released from the hospital a few days ago, and recovering well. He’s positive and cheerful, like always, despite the pain and discomfort he is in. Lucy spent a couple of hours with him once he was up for visitors, their conversation triggering her memories of that day and pushing her to work through the trauma thanks to the department-mandated counsellor that Jane insists she meets twice a week at the moment.

By the time the weekend rolls around, Lucy is exhausted and she falls into bed early on Friday night. She only stirs when she feels Kate slide into bed next to her, her arm instinctively reaching out around her waist, holding on to her like she has every night since that awful day.

The engagement ring still sits in her bottom drawer. Tomorrow, Lucy thinks, as she is on the verge of falling back to sleep. She doesn’t want to wait any longer. She knows she wants it to be romantic, to make a fool of herself for love like Kate did for her when she sang to her in front of all of their friends. Maybe, if she wakes early enough, she will follow her to the beach and surprise her after her morning surf. Or maybe she could do it when she gets home, the apartment filled with their favourite flowers and all the baked breakfast goods she can make.

Her plans go awry when she doesn’t wake up until just after ten o’clock. She can hear Kate pottering around the apartment, telling her that she is already back from the beach. So much for surprising her.

Lucy sits up and rolls her shoulders, then swings her legs out of bed and pads into the apartment, surprised to find it in disarray. All the furniture has been moved haphazardly, sheets covering the large flat-screen television and floor by the far end wall where Kate stands.

Rubbing her eyes, just to make sure she really is awake, Lucy frowns. “What’s going on?”

Kate spins around to face her. “I want you to have this,” she says simply, as if she is making sense.

“You want me to have this…?” Lucy questions.

“This wall,” Kate says, gesturing behind her.

Lucy shakes her head, confused. “Why?”

Kate sighs. “Because you’ve been living here for six months and it’s still my apartment.”

When Lucy arches her eyebrows in surprise at her words, she corrects herself.

“I mean, it’s our apartment, of course. But it’s still my stuff everywhere, my furniture, my pictures hanging from the walls.”

“So?”

“So… I want you to feel like this is your home too. I went out and got all these different samples from the hardware store. Not that you have to pick one that I chose, you can do whatever you want. Paint it whatever colour you want, hang whatever you want from the hooks.”

Kate’s voice raises by an octave, talking at double speed, like she does when she is wound up tight. Lucy knows why. She has been hovering ever since the incident, staying close and pandering to her every need. It is not like they don’t know how risky their jobs can be, but they have been confronted with the worst possible scenario and have been dancing around it ever since, refusing to acknowledge it outright. This, she knows, is Kate’s way of dealing with her fears.

Lucy crosses the apartment and takes her hand, squeezing it lightly.

“Kate, I do feel like this is my home.”

She sees Kate’s lips twitch into a small smile. “You do?”

Lifting herself onto her tiptoes, Lucy kisses her lightly. “I do.”

Those two words remind Lucy of her plan and they spark an idea.

“I’m gonna go put some clothes on and then you can show me the paint samples, okay?”

“Okay,” Kate says with a resolute nod.

Lucy retreats into the bedroom and pulls on a pair of sweatpants and an old Navy t-shirt, going into her bottom drawer and slipping the jewellery box into her pocket. When she goes back into the apartment, Kate has the sample paint swatches lined up on a bench, all pastel colours – greens and blues and yellows that match the rest of the decor.

“You know, before we get started, I’m really craving a green smoothie from the juice bar down the road. Would you mind popping out and getting me one? I’m pretty tired after working all week.”

She uses her most pitiful voice and it works. She can’t help but smile as Kate rushes out of the apartment, promising to be back as soon as possible. Once she is alone, Lucy chooses a soft blue paint and turns towards the wall that Kate has gifted to her, getting to work on her new plan.

Kate arrives home ten minutes later, a smoothie in each hand.

“They’d run out of the green smoothie,” she says, flustered as she enters the apartment. “So I got you the…”

She stops in her tracks when she sees Lucy’s handiwork on the wall. Lucy smiles and beckons her over. Placing the smoothies on the kitchen counter, Kate walks over to her in a daze.

“What…?”

“You said I could do whatever I wanted with the wall,” Lucy reminds her.

Behind her, written in thick blue paint, are the words ‘Kate Whistler, will you marry me?’.

Kate doesn’t speak, too dumbstruck. Lucy’s body isn’t quite ready for her to get down on one knee so she simply pulls the box from her pocket and opens it, holding it out between them and looking up at Kate.

“Will you?” she asks softly.

She has been so confident that Kate will say yes, but as soon as the words are out she suddenly feels nervous as she waits for her reply. Thank God it comes quickly, a wide smile spreading across Kate’s face as she closes the gap between them.

“Yes, Lucy! Yes, I will marry you.”

And just as quickly, her hands are cupping Lucy’s face, guiding their lips together in a deep kiss. Desperate to put the ring on Kate’s finger, she wriggles out of the embrace, laughing as she takes the ring out of its box and slides it carefully onto Kate’s ring finger.

“It’s beautiful,” Kate says, admiring the delicate carving in the white gold band and the small diamonds that adorn it.

“So are you,” Lucy gushes. “I love you, Kate.”

Kate leans down and kisses her again, resting her forehead against Lucy’s.

“I love you too.”

#WHEN DID I GET SO SOFT?!#ncis hawai'i #ncis hawaii #lucy tara #kate whistler #kacy #kacytober #my fanfiction #as usual I'm late but it only came into my head over the weekend

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mattyknees · 5 months

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Why is Joey's ankle sprain the worst case scenario? Week to week is good I thought

typically, w/ athletes that require a lot of ankle movement (basketball is where i saw most of my ankle injuries) week to week is a good sign. and if we can trust what leafs pr staff are saying (which, if you know me... I Do Not), then his sprain isn't worse than a grade two.

skates are designed the way they're designed for a reason. ankle support is a necessity so you can skate safely. that's why if you watch this video, OP is getting their shit rocked in the comments for wrapping their laces around their ankle - it creates the illusion of stability while actually destroying the integrity of the boot & setting them up for injury.

i have concerns that ayotte and bean and theodoropolous are going to either sign off on him getting back to on-ice activities too early - not even playing just fucking practice - or that woller himself will push too hard the second he's cleared out of a misplaced sense of obligation and he's going to resprain and it will be worse.

if you don't know, high ankle sprains are much worse than your average "i stepped down off the curb and fucked my foot up". high ankle sprains have an at minimum six to eight week heal time, often with the demand of no weight and zero movement for the first two. it can cause a rotational or shearing fracture at the end of the tibia/fibula where the ligaments insert, which was why he got the MRI yesterday. they had to know what they were working with to make sure he wasn't out for the season vs just out "week to week" (it's going to end up being at least a month. prepare for two.) they also sometimes require surgery and plating if there is a fracture involved, mostly because of where the break is. they have to make sure the bones of your leg stay where they're supposed to be.

because there isn't a lot of blood supply to ligament tissue, it's really hard for ligaments to heal. and because i don't have access to woller's mri results or ayotte's/bean's/theodoropolous' brains, i have no idea what they're planning on doing for a rest and rehab plan, if there's an incomplete tear, if it's grade one or grade two. i could keep going.

back to the ankle support skates thing - woller isn't skating miles every single night, but much of his job relies on his flexibility, ability to change direction quickly, ability to quite literally fold in on himself at a moment's notice. his ankles have to be stable AND flexible. that is not possible with any amount of leftover inflammation or injury.

woller is the entire leafs team. as much as i love willy and mo and mitch and everyone else. woller is the entire leafs team. keefe knows this. keefe is not a doctor. keefe has pushed them to the point of exhaustion a couple times this season. the only reason practice was cancelled after mo's 35+ minute game was because he literally could not get out of bed the next day. i don't know if i trust keefe's judgement when woller does come back. i just... i don't have a good feeling about it.

once you fuck up a joint, especially the ankle, especially where woller hurt his, it's fucked up for the rest of your life. he is very likely to do this again at least twice. maybe not during his career. maybe when he's retired. maybe during an offseason. but again - you guys see the shit he does in the net. he acts like he doesn't have any fucking bones. he runs around like he's a puppet on strings. like he's a fucking video game character. he does not treat his body kindly when he plays. i don't know what he does to cool down or warm up or whatever, but he treats his body poorly during games. this was inevitable. and i am scared for what happens during his recovery.

i do not give a fuck if we end this season 32 in the league. i do not care if we use marlies goalies for the rest of the season. all i need is leafs staff to listen to me when i tell them to let joseph woll recover at home for as long as he needs for his ankle to be at 100%, because if they don't, it will not be good for him.

#most of this is doomerposting but a lot of this is an analysis from my two years of helping athletes go through shit like this #it's definitely different because hs athletes aren't professionals and i am not like a doctor or anything i was just an AT's shadow #but athletes are still athletes. the mentality is still the same and they're all fucking crazy when taken out of their enclosures #there was a girl i took care of that had committed to notre dame to play d1 basketball that got a high ankle sprain #it was in fact grade 3 and she did in fact NOT listen to recovery instructions so this is very different #it ended her sports career and she didn't go on to play NCAA basketball which sucks #but as much as athletes are known for ''taking care of their bodies'' athletes do NOT take care of their bodies. athletes enjoy doing sport #sleeping and elevating and icing is not doing sports. letting someone else do your job is not doing sports #and i can see woller going stir crazy at home while jones and sammy take over for 2 months and it breaks my heart #my post #nhl #leafs #joseph woll #asks #anonymous #answered

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i-know-a-place-we-could-go · 9 months

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Do u think u could share tips on how to recover from an ED if ur comfortable with it ? I’m struggling a lot recently even tho I thought I was doing better

absoutely!!! i think this will just be me rambling because i dont actually know how ot explain recovery skdhskdha if thats cool? if you need anything, you can dm me too

putting this under a cut just in case!!

first, find a reason to recover. my reason is the having an ED is fucking terrifying and hurts me so much, as well as everyone around me. i realized this when i told my girlfriend about it and she looked at me so, so scared, and when i started passing out every week.

a recovery motivation for me is comparison photos. not bodychecks, because they won't help, but photos of my face from before my ED and during the worst of it. I hated how i looked before, but i hate how i look at my worst even more. I look dead and scary. Everyone was worried for me and I was so, so fucking mean, and all of that made me wanna recover.

tips uhm uhmm start slow. i added snacks to my day before i gradually increased the number of meals i was having too. have someone by your side to encourage recovery and help you on the bad days. stop checking calories and everything, stop weighing yourself. for me, i decided to weigh myself every other day then once a week and now i only do it about twice a month at my mother's request.

you are going to put on weight, and thats okay. its what your body needs. start with just eating which is the hardest part. get three meals in a day, two snacks, or as your body needs. listen to what it wants. then you can start focusing on a balanced array of meals with proper protein, carbs, sugars, nutrients, etc etc. its a pretty dull area, balancing everything out, and i honestly didnt pay much attention to it because i just focused on what i was craving (which surprise, was a lot of sugars and fruits) and that helped me a lot. then comes fear foods! scary as shit but its literally just food. you are going to have it and you are gonna be okay, nothing will happen to you. i sometimes record myself during those meals so i can remind myself that i did it later on and that nothing happened to me after.

its also okay to cry about it. for a solid month i made myself dinner every single night and i cried while doing it and i cried while having it. honestly 10/10 cry it was good. watching shows or youtube while having meals helped me too as a distraction and its also just fun. find a comfort show or yotuube channel or something and youll be okay. youll feel so much more energized and happier when you start.

DRINK WATER DRINK SO MUCH WATER AND HAVE SALT!!!! so important for ur energy and not fainting.

recovery isnt linear. theres gonna be days where you mess up some places and thats okay. maybe youll relapse fully and thats okay, you can and will get back into recovery. its not easy, but its worth it, and it gets easier every single day. idk if this was helpful at all, i hope it was, if you need anything dm me <3 good luck soldier

#asks <3 #tw disordered eating #tw ed

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itshomobirb · 11 months

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this is a bad idea. but. ive figured out recently that antibiotics drastically improve my chronic illness symptoms. i had to take two separate courses of antibiotics for a uti recently and genuinely i felt so alive. i had energy! i *vacuumed*!! did chores!! worked on hobbies!! and didn't feel like death afterwards!! usually all exertions have me feeling like "i am riding this wave of adrenaline, after which i will crash and burn." but on the antibiotics exertions that would normally sentence me to days recovering i would, at most, need a nap and then i could keep going. i was tired in a *satisfied* way, like one gets after a good workout.

im currently trying to get scheduled sometime soon with one of my specialists, but odds are it won't be for another few weeks. absolute earliest, in two weeks. about two years ago, one of the treatments the specialist gave me was a different antibiotic, which i had to ultimately discontinue bc it made me depressed (despite giving me energy). but i think the problem was i wasnt on any probiotics or anything. vs now ive got a good probiotic + veggie powder + psyllium husk regimen that has made the antibiotic courses really tolerable. so end goal is to try that antibiotic again. i dont think it'd make me depressed this time, not with my regimen.

now. i have a course of antibiotics i started yesterday. dr called me to say "hey ur urine culture came back negative, stop taking the antibiotics." my last antibiotic course finished last monday, and by thursday i was definitely crashing and burning. i think the antibiotics just fully started kicking in tonight bc i went from "i am literally dragging myself around" to "wow im chilling" in the past couple of hours. my garmin body battery, whenever im on antibiotics, shoots way the hell up -- literally went from 8/100 2.5 hrs ago to 27/100 right now. just from laying down. w/o antibiotics i could lay down for several hours and my body battery would maybe increase by 2-5 points. (about seven minutes after writing this, it's up to 30/100)

i have 17 pills left (meant to be taken twice a day). what if. what if i. continue taking the antibiotics. if i can get the appt scheduled for in 2 weeks, taking the antibiotic once a day would sufficiently cover me a little past the appt. obviously long term antibiotic usage can be dangerous and puts me at higher risk for bad things, such as c diff. moreso that im not under a doctor's supervision in doing so. but im not the first patient to do stupid things to help my condition. literally i cannot properly describe the night and day difference i feel, being on antibiotics. the ability to just *do things.* without needing to carefully ration energy. i feel *alive*. why would i want to stop.

#borbtalks

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thenightlymirror · 11 months

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So, for anyone paying attention to narrative, a lot has happened in the last week.

I was going to start on Tuesday, but then remembered that quite a lot happened on Monday too. So, Friday, I suppose.

At some point Friday, after days of the superintendent telling me that he would get to my dozens of foundation requests and work orders sometime next week, I learned in the last hour that he was actually going on vacation. Which enraged me. I'm an idiot. They spent the week after Memorial Day recovering. The next week saw the GM off sick almost the entire week, while I sort of ran things.

I started Monday by explaining to the GM that nothing has been for our State of Emergency Shithole Cemetery in two weeks, even when I tried to plan ahead for the next delivery which was coming very soon. Welp.

A few minutes later, I heard her addressing the grounds crew so, stood up from my desk and crashed the meeting. These are our priorities until I receive the granite manifest. This marker needs to be done today. These, when there's time. Two weeks ago I cared about these. Fuck it. I'll be by to look for paperwork in the garage.

I found the garage breakroom table covered in unfinished stacks of my work orders, old food, and a thin, even layer of mouse shit. Buck, how do you feel about being made to eat your meals on rat shit?

"I think it's a crime."

Correct.

After collecting my papers and taking lots of photos, I talked to Buck about his various grievances. He asked me if I was a socialist. "At least," I said.

I decided to go back to the GM and confront her about the rat shit. She explained that she bleached that table a month ago, but the boys leave the door open, and even when the exterminator visits twice a month, there's nothing they can do. Also. Buck was caught feeding the mice water.

Hm.

Well, I mean, wouldn't you? Honestly. Who among us if forced to live in rat shit would not feed the miserable poisoned rats? Since you're essentially in the same boat, all about to be fired, thrown out on your asses. Murdered.

Tuesday, grounds continued get more work done. The manifest arrived. I made the No. #2 a packet with the four foundations that were absolutely necessary by next week. Andrew invited me out to trivia later than night, and I spent the rest of the day feeling tired and headachy and convinced that if I didn't go, I'd probably be alone for the rest of my short life.

So I went. It was pretty good. Most of the table seemed a little snooty, and also worried about something I wasn't a party to. Nervous. They're pretty serious about it all. We got second place in the end. I was really good at naming movies just by single frames. I also got the two other Latin American countries that use the American Dollar correct, but they weren't very confident about it. Neither was I, really.

Afterward, me and Andrew went to a bar and a girl there talked to us, got our numbers. I assumed Andrew went home with her. Maybe he did. He was discreet about it, if he did. She liked us, and we hit our stride as two (likely) bisexuals performing as horny straight men for our own amusement. It was a lot of fun.

The next day Buck and I exchanged numbers and made plans to hang out at his place, smoke weed, listen to Norwegian black metal, and watch old Incredible Hulk episodes. Nice.

There was this whole thing about going to Wisconsin to pick up some vases for a customer. The GM wanted to go. Sandra also happened to be going on the same day. I made a million calls and now it was just me picking it all up for everybody. No Spotted Cow. No Cheese Castle. Solamente Cox.

I woke up an hour early to lay in bed and feel utterly convinced I wanted to die. Something was up, and my brain turned in on itself instinctively. Always embarrassment, humiliation. Clarity. Brutal clarity. I got up. Rushed a day's work in three hours. Drove to my old cemetery where Sandra ran to give me a hug and pointed to the breakroom where Carlene was eating lunch. Something was definitely weird with Carls. Seemed miffed. I avoided immediately attacking Harper and talked logistics with Carlene by repeating every sentence she said until she noticed.

I entered the office to pick up the keys, and asked Harper how she was. I was pretty clear. She just kept working, didn't even look up. I just shrugged. Sandra gave me the eyes like, Holy Shit Dude, and I turned to go, but Carlene intervened like "HARPER!" and she finally looked up, so I asked her gently, Harper, what's up. How's it going, and she looked embarrassed and talked for a few minutes. Totally normal.

You could not convince me for the next four hours that is what happened. I only remembered my guts falling out on the floor in front of everyone. Hahaha. Such a sensitive baby.

Everyone at my place went on and on about how they might give me a tour, and I'd get to meet the owner and nobody there gave a shit. They just passed me through like corn. Not that they were mean in the slightest. I don't know what I expected.

I got back to the old cemetery. The new counselor-at-large was there and I said hello and she looked right fucking through me. Haha I was not quiet. She just sucks. That's fine.

I got in the office and Sandra was stuck in an email. I was like, What the hell are you doing? Can't say. Ok lol. "What the hell is wrong with everyone today?"

"I was about to say that myself," Harper says. "People standing in doorways all day." Fucking body snatchers. Then Margie caught me. Harper made the "You did this to yourself by being nice to her, and I am getting the hell out of here" face. Have a nice weekend!

I pull out of my parking space in my own car again, and rip off the front bumper. The counselors come out to laugh and Sandra clandestinely takes photographs with her phone. We all laugh for a while while no one gets to leave the parking lot, and I go straight home to Winnetka with the vases in my car.

What else?

My trainer asked if I went to the Cheese Castle. No. I was depressed. She shoots into my dms to ask me why I'm depressed. I'm fine. Just woke up this way. My brain's just broke.

I woke up this morning sadder than ever. As I got in the car, my old trainer called me and said that she got a new job. The office manager position she always wanted. Fuck all the rest. I said thank god you did something, or else I was going to have to. Congrats. She said not to tell anyone, and to get out of this place as soon as I can.

I went to work and got on the golf cart and rode around for a while, took it up to the secret lake. Hiked around. Scared some birds. Took the cart off-roading down a steep hill convinced I was going to flip myself.

Later, rushing through work, I got another call. Sandra. She's leaving. Got a job with the city. Which means. Her position will be open. I jumped out of my seat and started punching the air. Holy shit. Suddenly the day flowed right over. Not only would this whole nightmare end, I'd get the position I wanted in the first place. The position I wanted like... years from now. Gene's place. I wouldn't have to be miserable. I still doubt it will actually happen. But it might. I might just be happy. Over in the admin office between Harper and Carl. Easy.

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