Just a little quid pro quo

(slightly)perv!Eddie x virgin!reader where she buys drugs from him and "forgets" her money so she has to pay another way

also whoops Eddie is a little mean here and probably out of character but the plot required it

He kinda tries to take advantage of the reader's innocence but she is VERY into it so alls well that ends well I guess

based on this original concept

its a long one btw

She sat on that bench in the woods idly playing with the hem of her skirt.

That morning she had no intention of being here, waiting for the infamous town freak Eddie Munson to sell her drugs (among other things)

But another thing that had happened that morning was her overhearing one of the other girls on the cheer team talk about how Eddie would make girls have sex with him for drugs.

She shuddered at the thought of it, him taking advantage of her like that. His big ring covered hands gripping her harshly, taking her apart with his warm tongue and hard cock.

So maybe it wasn't a shudder of disgust...

In her defense she was a bit sexually repressed, never having been touched like that in her life.

But she wanted to be. And despite herself she couldn't get Eddie out of her head. She barely knew what sex entailed, but she knew she wanted to do it with him.

Which is what lead her to be sitting there with not a cent of cash on her, waiting for one Eddie Munson to emerge from the woods.

And Emerge he did, stumbling out of the thick grove of trees and into the clearing so he was standing directly infront of her. She tried to look down at the ground but he grabbed her jaw gently and tilted her head up to look at him. "what can I get for you, pretty little thing?"

"uhm drugs please?" she shook with anticipation as he sat next to her and started to rifle around in his black lunchbox.

"Alright, this much will be 15$" She wasn't sure if that was a good price. But she didn't intend to pay it anyways.

Her hand found the hem of her skirt again, lifting it up suggestively and blinking at him while biting her lip "Oh I don't have any money. Isn't there some other way I can pay?"

He watched the way her manicured nails pulled up the fabric of her skirt to expose the expanse of her thighs. He couldn't help but thinking of sucking bruises into the plush skin there. Given the chance, he would absolutely wreck this girl.

"Oh? I can think of a few ways." He grinned wickedly, hand reaching over to her leg and slowly ghosting up her thigh until it disappeared under her skirt.

"L-like with sex?" she stuttered, not able to contain the hope in her eyes. She had never flirted with someone or had them flirt back like this, but it made her feel lightheaded the way he touched her.

"It doesn't have to be sex, a blow job would be enough for this much. We don't have to tell anyone, I can keep a secret." His hand was gripping her tightly now, fingers played out on the sensitive inside of her thigh and squished between her legs that were clenched together.

"Oh yeah...I guess that's ok too." He saw the way her face fell, shame creeping into her expression. He wasn't the smartest guy but he could practically feel her pining, and who was he to deny her a good time.

"Or maybe not...see I'll let you in on a secret. 15$ is a really good deal for that much weed. And you can't even bother to pay me. I think you should make it up to me." His hot breath kissed the side of her neck as he leaned even closer to her.

"So you'll fuck me?" she was trembling under his hands, seeping wetness into her panties from just his fingers creeping up her thigh.

"Is that what you want?" he asked softly, gently coaxing her into admitting her desire to him.

"Y-yeah."

"Oh my god. You fuckin freak," he cackled, leaping up from his place beside her and prancing around the small clearing.

"Huh...I thought-" Her lip started to quiver as she stared at him in confusion.

"You thought you were just going to come out here and trick me into fucking your tight perfect little pussy? I bet you don't even want drugs. You just want a story to tell all your stupid cheerleader friends." He seethed, teeth bared in anger as spittle gathered at the edges of his lips. He looked absolutely feral, and for some reason that was totally doing it for her.

"NO!" she exclaimed, rushing off the bench and wrapping herself around one of his arms to keep him from leaving.

"no?" he teased, softening his voice and brushing a stand of her hair behind her ear. It made her head spin how he could go from screaming at her to gently cradling her face. She knew in that moment that she would do anything to please him.

"I mean yes...but no. I want you, I don't know why but I do. I'm sorry for lying." She rambles on as tears start to fall down her cheeks, her hands shaking as she tried to wipe her wet face off.

"aw, you look so gorgeous when you cry. You really want me to fuck you, huh?" he cooed, kissing her warm cheeks and drying her tears.

"please," she whined, clawing at the fabric of his jacket.

He wrenched his arm out of her grasp and sat down on the bench with his legs spread wide. "You're such a needy fucking slut, get on your knees for me."

she quickly scurried over, throwing her self down at his feet and blinking up at him expectantly. "you're so pretty," he whispered, hand cupping her face and letting her rest her head on his thigh. "Why are you out here, really? why do you want to get fucked by the town freak?"

"Because I've never done anything like this before. And you make me feel...weird." The weird feeling she was describing was arousal, he knew how to satiate her urge even if she didn't

"Mmm, do I make your panties wet?" He guided her hand up to the bulge in his jeans while her other hand slipped down between her legs to prod at the dampened fabric between her legs.

"Y-yeah. They are wet now that you mention it." She nodded eagerly, waving her fingers in his face to show the evidence of her arousal.

He wrapped his long fingers around her wrist, bringing her hand up to his mouth to suck the digits clean. "What do you want me to do to you? you have to tell me." He punctuated his question with kisses to the tips of her fingers.

"I want you to have sex with me." She admitted, completely genuine and earnest in her intention. She wouldn't lie to him, she didn't really even know how to. She was sure he would see right though it as he seemed to see right through her.

"there's a lot of different ways to have sex, you're going to have to be more specific baby." He practically giggled at her naivety. It wasn't her fault and it made him feel like a pervert when he thought about how he was going to ruin her innocent mind.

"I want you to put that." she gave a gentle squeeze to the tent in his jeans that he had positioned her hand over. "Into me. It hurts down there, can you make it better?" somehow she looked so innocent when she was practically begging him to fuck her.

"I can but you need to get my cock wet first so I can slide it in there." He gave her a meaningful look, nodding at her to ask if she understood.

"really?" she asked with wide eyes, gasping as he slapped the warm dripping tip of it against her cheek.

"yep, I'm the expert here sweetie." He held her face gently as he guided his cock down past her lips and down her throat. She didn't dare move an inch as he thrusted into her mouth, drool collecting and dribbling down her chin.

She whimpered softly, the vibration only spurring him on to fuck her throat harder.

when he pulled back there were tears streaming down her face again. And he would agree with her previous statement, she was gorgeous when she cried.

"can you put it inside me now?" she questioned, pleading with him really.

"Mmm, whatever you want sweetie." His voice was laced with the utmost care, any fear she may have felt melted when he offered her a hand and helped her into his lap.

She sat there, one hand on his shoulders to steady her and the other one trying to push her panties to the side while she slid down onto him.

Whines escaped her lips every time she narrowly missed the hole and his cock slid over her clit instead. He just laughed at her desperation. "here, let me help you." He grabbed the length of himself and held her still with a hand on her lip, easing into her gently.

Her eyes were rolled back in her head by the time he was fully seated inside of her. "Does that feel good?" he asked, slowly swirling his thumb around her clit.

"It aches. Inside," she whined, little fists banging on his chest so weakly it was more like a pat.

"S'alright baby, I'm gonna make you feel better." He started thrusting, hands on her hips moving her up and down on his length. He wanted to take things slowly for her but the second she started clenching around him his slow shallow thrusts became deep and fast.

Her legs were shaking, his name along with curse words he didn't even think she knew were falling from her lips in muffled cries. "Thats it, I got you," he whispered, kissing her forehead as his hands creeped around to play with her ass.

"are you gonna touch me back there?" she asked innocently, arching into his touch like it was second nature.

"Mmm. Maybe next time." His grip tightened when she sighed. He was right, she was a little freak and she didn't even know. But he knew, he knew what she needed and he intended on giving it to her.

"You close?" he groaned, hips bucking up to meet his pace of rocking her down against him.

"I dunno," she slurred, drooling mouth wetting his t-shirt where her face was pressed into his chest. "Feels tight."

She wriggled around in his arms when he payed more attention to her clit, swirling abstract patterns on it until she was jelly in his hands. "feels weird, Eddie," she cried out before tightening around him and cumming, her body shaking violently in his arms as he fucked her through it.

"aaaaAAh. You're twitching," she yelped when his own climax started.

"You- fuck. You did so good, I'm gonna cum." he held her down, hips bucking up into her still clenching hole.

"Inside of me?" she asks, shocked but not upset.

"Yeah, it only counts if I cum inside," he said quickly, coming up with an absurd and stupid lie on the spot.

But she believed it. "Well ok, if you say so."

Her fingers gripped his face, nails biting the sensitive skin, as she pressed their lips together messily and he painted her insides with his cum.

"Ok hold on, this is probably going to make a mess." He pulled out and examined the creamy fluid leaking from her, scooping a bit of it onto his fingers and shoving them into her mouth.

"mphmmh," she whined, giggling a little at the weird taste of it. "Gross, Eddie!" she laughed, smacking her hands on his chest in a way that was crazy adorable.

"Yeah. I'm gross, sorry babe." He gave her a quick kiss on the lips and helped her move so her legs were stretched over his instead of straddling him.

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and let her rest her cheek on his chest, cuddling into his arms and murmuring sleepily. "I didn't even know that was possible."

For the RH Reader Version can we pretty please get the scene in RH4 where reader faints in the Upside Down (she wakes up in Eddie's arms)? I've been longing to find out what happened in between, like with character interactions and how she ends up in Eddie's lap? Love u and ur work btw 💜

ooh you won't believe this, but this has been saved in my drafts from where i had started writing scenes for (eddie's version) and now i get to share this with all my eddie loves <3

RAINING HELLFIRE (READER'S VERSION)

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: swearing, mentions of blood/death, not proof-read because i wrote this on a lunch break from uni

Set in RH4: Chapter 12: Riding To Freedom

Find all Raining Hellfire works here <3

Summary: Just when Eddie started thinking they'd never find you, you quite literally show up at their door... sporting a knife and a terrified expression.

[A/N: Whilst we are all aware that Eddie isn't the endgame, I hope we can still appreciate that they have a bond that could never be broken, even if it isn't romantic]

RH4: THE THIRD TIME EDDIE THOUGHT HE LOST YOU

When you had come creeping in through that door holding a knife, that petrified look on your face, Eddie felt so… weak.

His heart had jumped at the sight of you stood there, alive. He was so afraid when he found Steve in the Upside Down alone, rambling about you being dragged away. Part of him always knew you would survive. You were strong. Stronger than him, at least.

But now here you were, staring at them like they weren’t real, a shaky hand aiming the knife at your friends. You thought this was all in your head, you were doubting yourself, that strength he had grown so accustomed to shattering your armour into pieces. He wasn’t going to let you lose control so easily.

“Queen of the Demogorgons.” Eddie suddenly blurts and everyone looks to him, confused. He makes sure he’s in your line of vision before continuing. “That’s the name I gave you when you stopped that fight with Tommy. You… You called me King of the Freaks. Would Vecna even care enough to know that?”

You stand there for a moment, pondering the thought. He waits in bated breath for you to believe him. For a moment, he thought you wouldn’t, and then you were letting out a shaky breath and lowering the knife until it slipped from your fingers and clattered on to the floor.

“Thank god.” Robin mumbled under her breath behind him and he feels his shoulders relax.

“You okay?” Nancy asks tentatively, being the first to move toward you. Eddie watches in silent disdain as you wipe a tear from your eye, a strange look on your face.

“Um… actually…” You try, but then you’re blinking rapidly and his stomach drops.

“Y/n?” He takes one step forward and suddenly you’re on the floor, eyes fluttering shut. “Shit.”

He runs over, still calling your name. But you’re not responding.

“What happened?” Steve asks to no one particular, crouching beside you as well as Nancy shakes her head in disbelief.

“I don’t know, I don’t-” Her words are cut off and Eddie whips his head to her, following where her trembling hands hovered. Your stomach was covered by a dark red jumper. Which, to Eddie’s sudden burn of panic, he realised it was never the original colour.

“Shit, okay, shit-” Steve spits out, suddenly spinning around to where Robin stood, her eyes wide. “There could be a first aid kit around here somewhere, maybe the kitchen-”

“Bathroom.” Nancy nods, her hands already applying pressure on your stomach. “Upstairs, to the right.”

“Okay.” Robin nods quickly, flailing her arms as she finds the staircase and starts sprinting her way up, barely balancing herself.

“What do we do?” Eddie asks in a whispered voice, not liking the way your lips looked paler. He was scared, way too scared to be able to help you when you looked like this.

“We need to wrap the wound.” Steve states, much more confident in his decisions than Eddie could ever be. That’s probably why you picked him in the end.

“I don’t have…” Nancy glances down at herself, frowning. Her eyes start darting around the room. “Maybe the curtains, or the… I don’t know. I don’t know.”

As she and Steve debate over various materials, unsure of if it would only add an infection if they pressed something from the Upside Down against it, Eddie took look at himself and already knew what he needed to do.

“I got it.” Eddie decides, standing up and slipping his jacket off. Nancy looked surprised, but nodded nonetheless and started peeling away the jumper from your wound.

“What’re you doing?” Steve frowns up at him as Eddie slips his Hellfire shirt over his head. He chucks it over at him.

“Rip that up.” He orders, already slipping his jacket back on. “I don’t care how much you use.”

Steve stared at him for a minute, an unrecognisable expression on his face.

“Steve.” Nancy snaps him away from Eddie and nods, making quick work of ripping up the one shirt Eddie held dearest to him. It was Hellfire, the decision that changed his high school life forever, his way of being a hero to all the sheep in need of their shepherd. But you needed him right now. And that trumped everything else.

He’s not sure what else he can do as Nancy hisses at the blood pouring from your stomach. The wound matches those currently scattered across Steve, who was currently looking like it pained him to realise.

“She tried saving me.” He says and Eddie looks at him, noting the way Steve’s eyes never left your face. “Using those… powers. If she hadn’t, maybe Vecna wouldn’t have found her.”

“Vecna took her?” Eddie frowns. Steve didn’t inform them of this the first time he explained your disappearance.

“I think I heard him.” He nods slowly, finally meeting Eddie’s eyes. “He’s not gonna stop until he has her. We need to get her out of here before he tries anything again.”

Eddie can’t help his eyes drift to the darkened table behind him, your scratched but still worthy Walkman laying there. He had picked it up from where it had been abandoned in that dried up lake, using it to grasp onto that hope that you were alive.

“I got it! I got… it.” Robin jumps off the bottom step before focusing on them. “Why have you got your shirt off?”

Eddie glances down before slowly zipping his jacket up to hide his bare chest. “Bandages.”

“Uh-huh.” She dismisses, crouching beside Nancy and handing her the bag. “Here.”

“Thanks.” The girl breathes out, rooting through. “Shit.”

“What?” Steve frowns.

“It doesn’t have the stuff I want….” She mumbles before shaking her head and pulling out a bottle. “It doesn’t matter, I’ll use what I can.”

“She’s gonna be okay, right?” Robin asks, eyes shifting between each of their faces. “I mean… it’s Y/n. She always bounces back.”

“Yeah.” Steve says with certainty, but his expression was telling a different story.

“I did what I can, but....” Nancy leans back, your stomach now wrapped in black and white bandages, a splash of red from where Eddie’s logo was peaking through. “I don’t know what else to do.”

They didn’t have time to think about what to do next when something started humming in the walls around them.

“… hey… guys… there?”

It was indistinguishable until Dustin’s voice blared through and Nancy jumped to her feet. When Eddie looked over, he was surprised to see her eyes already on his.

“They got your message.” She smiles and Robin sighs in relief.

“What now?” She questions and Nancy’s eyes are light.

“Now we find a way to communicate.”

Eddie sat on the floor with your head on his lap as the others rushed around him, desperately looking for a Lite Brite that was apparently going to get them home? He wasn’t entirely paying attention. His only focus right now was you.

Nancy was quick-witted, immediately figuring out the best course of action. With a little yelling back and forth, picking up on some words, they managed to decide that they needed to go to her room.

Steve had offered to carry you up, and he would have if Eddie hadn’t suggested that his bites, while they were cool, would make it a little difficult. So Eddie took you instead.

“Got it!” Steve shouted up from the stairs, Eddie paid no attention.

Every so often he would slip his finger to the pulse point in your neck, reassuring himself mostly. He didn’t want to lose you again. Especially not like this.

The first time Eddie lost you was when he decided his pride was more important than your friendship. That night on your porch steps, the look of defeat in your eye when you realised he wasn’t going to let you keep your secrets. He walked away from you, then, knowing he had lost the only person that truly cared about him.

The second time ended with a kiss, thinking it was going to be the last time he saw you. Part of him wishes he hadn’t done that. Kissing you only made each day you were gone that much more painful. He didn’t have someone to laugh with, no one to argue over Lord of The Rings, or even sit and watch those long practice sessions with Corroded Coffin. He thought he would miss your lips, your touch. Turns out, he just missed your presence. He missed his friend.

And now he thinks he might be losing you again. He’s tried so many times to wake you up, subtle to avoid suspicion from the others. They assured him you would be fine, recollections of a fainting that happened three years ago. But he wouldn’t be assured until you were awake and talking.

“How’s she doing?”

He looks up to see Steve stood there, running a hand through his hair as he stares woefully down at you.

“Um… still breathing. Hasn’t woken up yet.” It was stating the obvious, but Steve looked grateful anyway. When he doesn’t move, Eddie frowns. “You good, man?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I, uh…” He stops his thought and does something Eddie didn’t think he would. Steve gestures for him to step aside with him and he’s so confused by the matter that he does exactly that.

Carefully laying you back down, and making sure Robin gave him a thumbs up when she could see he was leaving, Eddie follows Steve out into the hallway.

“What’s up?” He asks sceptically.

Steve leans against the wall, looking like he hadn’t thought it through. It was silent for a few seconds before he finally sighs. “I’m sorry, man.”

Eddie shifts from his position, unfolding his arms. “For what?”

“I…” He begins, tightening his lips. “I know why you and Y/n broke up. I… I only found out last summer but, I, uh… I’m sorry if I ever…”

Is Steve Harrington apologising to me right now? Eddie ponders as he struggles to find a response.

“No… worries.” Eddie frowns and Steve lets out a breathy laugh.

“No, I- I genuinely am sorry.” He persists, checking with a glance that no one was at the door listening in. “I never meant to get between you. And I knew how much she cared about you, still cares.I, uh, I had that happen to me once. I know how shit it feels. If I had known, I swear to you I would never have- shit, I don’t know. I’m just sorry.”

Eddie lowers his head. This feud he had been having with Steve had apparently been completely one-sided for the last two years. He just assumed Steve knew, that you had told him everything you’d argued about, right down to the grit of it. But you hadn’t said anything. And, judging by the look on Steve’s face, you had never said a bad word about him at all.

“It’s not your fault.” Eddie sighs, running a hand down his face. “We weren’t, uh… it wasn’t gonna end well either way. Even if you weren’t there with her that night, we… we probably would have broken up anyway. I was the one that messed up. Not her. Not you.”

“What do you mean?” Steve’s brows pinch together and Eddie lets out a breathy laugh.

“Come on, I’m- I’m resident freak. I snuck around her back, hell, even my uncle’s back for months. And I was so scared of getting found out that I just used the first excuse I could find.” He admits, starting to feel a little overwhelmed by the amount he was sharing. So, he clears his throat and straightens. “I should…”

Steve merely nods and Eddie is free to walk away, back to where Robin was crouched beside you, returning to his post.

“What were you boys whispering about?” Robin asks with raised eyebrows. “Guy stuff?”

“Guy stuff.” Eddie responds with an amused grin. “Don’t you have some weird light shit to get to?”

“Okay, okay.” She raises her hands in surrender and pushes herself to her feet. “I get the hint.”

He didn’t bother looking up when Steve eventually returned to the room, running a hand through his somehow still perfect hair and helping the girls with their set up. I knew how much she cared about you, still cares, he had said. Eddie couldn’t deny how that made his stomach flip just a little.

When you had left last summer, he had expected you’d call, or write, or anything. He expected something. But you hadn’t. It invoked this deep-seeded fear that maybe you realised how much of a screw-up he was. One of the last things he had said to you was that he was dealing drugs, of course it would make you rethink everything. Him. So rather than spend each miserable day laying on his bed and smoking until the marijuana kicked in, he tried to forget you. It was sad. But it was true.

All it did, however, was make him look back on the past three years. You and him meeting, getting off on the wrong foot. Discovering mutual interests, sharing something he hadn’t shared with anyone ever. He loved being around you simply to be around you. He cherished that, and after eight long months he finally realised he wasn’t in love with you anymore.

He just didn’t expect to be thrown into the Upside Down and start questioning everything again. Why the hell was he reminiscing romance when a few short hours ago it never once crossed his mind?

You stir in his arms and he tenses, eyes wide.

“Y/n?”

A soft groan leaves your lips and he’s never been happier to hear it. Your hand instinctively moves to your stomach but he’s quick to stop you, just in case the pressure will cause you pain.

A warm smile stretches his lips when your eyes finally meet his once again, his name falling from your lips. The heavy weight of dread finally lifts from his chest, letting him breathe in the relief that you were okay.

if you would like to request a new pov scene for the Raining Hellfire universe, please feel free to put it into my ask box and I'll get to it when I am available :)

How would the boys ( Eddie, Steve, Billy and 001) react to their partner having nipple piercings 🤔

PREFERENCES ARE MY NEW FAVORITE THING GUYS OMG REMEMBER THIS WHEN I OPEN REQUESTS AGAIN PLEASE.

Not proofread cuz I sleepy *swag* btw I love writing 001.

Eddie Munson:

"Wait- I'm sorry. I have a quick question." Eddie pulls away from my lips as I let out an annoyed whine, just wanting him to kiss me senselessly and to stop getting so sidetracked with every other thought he's got running through that beautiful head of his.

His hands soothe over my chest, thumbs brushing against my sensitive nipples and my body jumps against him. He looks up at me, almost as if he was testing me with that small motion and, apparently, whatever he was thinking prior has been confirmed.

Fuck, he knows.

"Do you have-"

"Nipple rings, yeah." I huff, lifting my shirt over my head without another word, watching his jaw drop and his cheeks flush, obviously never expecting me to ever have anything like this going on under-wraps.

"Oh, so you're the freak." He snorts, not being able to help himself as his lip tucks between his teeth, his thumbs brushing over the rings again before letting out a shuttered curse.

"Are you going to fuck me or not?"

Steve Harrington:

"I can't believe this is happening." Steve mutters, hands resting in his hands as he stares up at me, the bed squeaking as I move. I stand up in front of him, his knees spreading to fit me between them. He can see the rings through my flimsy t-shirt, his room being a million degrees too cold to hide the secret jewelry.

I didn't tell him for a reason, worried that he might be a bit too vanilla and a bit too conservative for the only secret I've been keeping from him. But based on his twitching fingers in his lap and the hungry, aroused look in his eyes; I can tell he more than likes them.

He loves them.

"You like?" I ask teasingly, lifting my shirt ever so slowly as he drools, lips parting gently. No words escape his lips, just small babbled curses as he reaches out, hands resting on my hips.

"Like?" He asks breathlessly, his eyes never leaving mine as his lips skim against my chest. "I love them."

Billy Hargrove:

"Billy wait-" His smile falters a bit as his eyes drop to my chest, not expecting the perfect silver buds resting on my nipples. My shirt falls out of his hands and onto the floor, his brows furrowing in confusion.

"When did this..." He trails off, unable to finish his question and I bite nervously at the inside of my cheek, worried that he'd be mad or slip into that controlling freak that he so easily falls back into. "Wow." He drags a hand over his jaw as I flop back onto the bed, feeling overwhelmingly bad about myself, unable to read or gauge his reaction.

"You hate them-"

"Don't finish that sentence cuz it couldn't be farther from the truth." He laughs, quickly sliding down on top of me as his lips wrap around one of my hardened nipples, immediately taking me off guard as I arch into him. He bites and nibbles at the sensitive skin, my brows pulling together in pleasure and my head thumps back against his pillow. "Just didn't realize I was fucking this kind of girl."

Peter Ballard:

There's a sense of innocence in his eyes as he glances back and forth between my eyes and my chest, his tongue sweeping out over his lips as he tries to come up with something to say.

I'm breathless and sweating, worried that he will be displeased with the dainty jewelry, his expression completely unreadable. He doesn't look upset or disgusted but there's no sense of urgency to, honestly, bend me over.

"Now," he pauses, stepping towards me with a simple, calculated, tilt of his head, "what do we have here?" A soft laugh leaves his lips as he admires my chest, my shoulders relaxing at the almost playful tone behind his words.

"You scared me for a second. I thought you were disgusted." His hands timidly reach out to rest on my waist, soft eyes looking over my skin before flicking back up to meet my gaze with a confused look, his brows furrowed softly.

"Disgusted, god no." His tone is reassuring and kind, one of his hands slipping up to cup my cheek, thumb brushing gently over my bottom lip. "Confused," he chuckles, licking his lips once more and, finally, a look of arousal passes through his darkening hues, "curious, most definitely."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- Taglist: @bubblebuttwade @rafelover2405 @leslienjazzy @sorceresss @grxnde-dwt @alex–awesome–22 @bunnietoof @niyamar1e @serialghost @plantlungs @geniusohn @akaliltimmytim @lilaalouuxx @xshariex @elliotsbeigeguitar @elle4404 @lelieja @srhxpci @joselyn001 @taysirene @spinkspanther @thedivineuphoria @peter-maximoffs @tsukishimawhore @poohkie90 @szlaco @distantsighs @nstyles4299 @wolflover384 @givemefoodandlovesstuff @vane28282

@yeswhatever33 @amirrahfranson @vvaalleennttiinna @f-mu @yaspillz @jeyramarie @skylievin@abbybarnes17 @jointherebellion215 @visiondaddy @steezysimfinds @its-ya-gay-boi-luigi @crunchytoenailsyum@glizzymcguirex @beth123lg @melovesmut @rafecameronswhore @ariianelle @write-from-the-heart @vampviolets@haylee-e@popehaywardssecretgf @honee-chai-tea @lokiandbuckywife @smoke-and-fire @officiallyunofficialperson@heyaitsklaudia@rosepetalsparks @bluetreecloud20 @scenesofobx @double-shot-of-tequila @1dluver13xx @colbysbrocks @iamasimpingh0e @smoke-and-fire386 @loveshineslikethesky @id-3-kbro @diorsitgirl @errorfound101-allideasburnedout @neverwillknowme18 @ellyskey @taylors-folk @loversjoy @myaloveee @thyris-is @lagataprrr @aaaaslaaaan @minjix @luvrosee

Hi! Hope you're well. Could you maybe write a Eddie Munson x fem!reader where she's El's sister (like Kali) and she used to date billy and after he died she wasn't able to move on but she starts liking Eddie but can't seem to let go of billy so they have a conversation and they're just like "this would've happened in another life" and it's really angsty and stuff. Thank you!! ( Btw if you don't feel up to it)

Side note: If you end up doing this could the reader have pyrokiniseis (idk of I wrote that correctly English isnt my mother language)

In Another Life

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Warning: Angst

Notes: Hi, I am doing well, thanks! Here’s your requested story, and don’t worry about your English. It’s my first language and I still had to google how to spell pyrokinesis.

(Y/N) sat on the bleachers facing the Hawkin's High track field, hugging her knees. Being alone with her thoughts was never ideal, but it felt safer for her. She wouldn't do something stupid.

As a distraction, she entertained herself with making shapes out of her fire. She and Kali used to play like that in the lab, (Y/N) would make shapes and Kali would guess what it was. Currently, it was a ballerina twirling in the air in front of her.

She vanished the fire as she heard footsteps approaching and for a full second was worried that her powers were discovered, She felt like yelling at herself for being go reckless but relaxed slightly when she realized that it was just Eddie.

Then she tensed up against when she remembered that she was avoiding him, and why she was avoiding him.

“Hey." He greeted her, smiling. He had such a sweet smile, it sometimes made her want to cry.

"Hi." She said, trying not to look at him. "What.…. what are you doing here?"

Eddie jumped up on the bleachers, swaying slightly as he stepped over to her. Even him sitting down was done dramatically, like a performance. "Looking for you, of course."

"Of course." She echoed his words, knowing exactly why he wanted to speak to her. The two of them had hung out a few times since the situation with Vena, and she had really enjoyed his company. So when he invited her to get high, she had said yes. Then.. when they were high and laughing, she had asked to kiss him, and he had said yes.

It was stupid of her.

And, she was sure that Eddie was beginning to pick up on that. "You want me to go?" He asked, always so in tune with her every facial expression.

"I just... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have...

"What? Shouldn't have kissed me?" He asked. "Or shouldn't have run away?"

"Both." He sighed, and she hated herself for hurting his feelings.

"Listen.." He paused. "I like you. But if you aren't into me, just say it."

He was so kind, (Y/N) thought, and she really wanted to tell him that she liked him back. "I do, it's just.… can't stop thinking about him."

"Hargrove?"

She nodded, thinking back to the previous year when Billy and her were together. He had been everything to her, and she had been in awe of him. She still was. And no matter how much wanted to move, she just couldn't.

"I like you; I do. But... I miss him, so much. And I don't want to be with you when I still love him. You're too good for that."

He nodded, rocking his whole body along with his head. "Thanks, I guess? I guess I'm just sorry that I never really spoke to you until after you met him." He stood up, offering her his hand to help her up. It

was getting dark.

"Yeah, me too.... maybe we would've have happened in another life."

The Maiden Marauder

++Eddie Munson x F!Reader++

(Eddie comes in to set up for Hellfire, but a girl he really, really likes is setting up for her own club in the same room. Of course they get into an "argument")

Warnings ⚠️: 18+ language. Angst(but not really) Pining. Lots of Fluff. Set up for possible part 2.

🖤xoxo

Eddie rushes into the school. Hellfire was canceled and moved a day because Dustin fell off his bike and broke his wrist (which Eddie was super concerned about btw, almost having a heart attack when Ms. Henderson called) So now Eddie has to scramble and quickly set up with way less time than he is used to. He's humming the tune of his favorite Iron Maiden song when he shoves open the theater room door. To his shock, the room was already occupied, By you.

He tried to be annoyed, but as soon as he saw you, his heart leapt. Eddie Munson has had a crush on you since last year, after seeing you at a few of his bands shows over the summer. He'd always tell himself he would go up and talk to you after his set, but without fail he would chicken out and hide by the bar until you left. It seems like the universe had forced him into the perfect opportunity to talk to you.

*

You didn't notice when the door swung open, and you remained oblivious as Eddie scooted quietly into the room. He stood mesmerized as he watched you move around the table. He watched your small hands place large goblets around the table, and watched your hair cover your face as you took little items from your bag and set them carefully on the tabletop. He probably stared for too long before clearing his throat, startling you. When you turned around all the color had gone from your face, and Eddie felt a pang as he saw the initial fear in your face when you spun around.

"Um hey," Eddie says guiltily. "Im sorry sweetheart, I wasn't trying to scare you" he adds. "What are you doing here Eddie? Your day was yesterday" you gasp, putting your hand on your chest as your heart raced. "Yeah...." Eddie starts, rubbing the back of his neck. Hearing you say his name made his body nearly melt into the floor.

"Henderson flipped over his handlebar and broke his wrist, so we had to move it to tonight" He says as he steps towards the table that you had just finished setting up, noticing some familiar items. "Thats too bad for you Munson, we get the room tonight, you know this." You state, tilting your head as you watch him eye the table.

You can't help but smile as he is slowly coming to the realization of what he's seeing. Watching the grin set across his face before he asks, "Wait...... what is your little club anyway?" The table is littered with blank figures and materials to paint them. Characters he immediately recognizes, because he has several of his own in his bag.

DnD figures.....

"Earth to Munson" You half chuckle, seeing his awed expression. "You still can't use the room tonight, hello?" Eddie hears your voice in a muffle as he comes back to reality. "Wait wait wait" he says nervously "are you.....are you painting these tonight?" He asks, still processing whats happening.

"Uh, yes Eddie, the party is painting their new characters for the latest campaign....." you laugh, realizing he is in shock. You stare at him, waiting for him to speak again. "You.... you play... you.... have, you...." He stutters, becoming flustered. He takes a deep breath "You play DnD?" He finally manages, face turning bright red.

You smile sweetly, watching the big bad Eddie Munson melt into a puddle before you. Although aware of Eddies crush on you, he had never approached you, so you didn't think it was anything serious. You weren't aware of the fact that in this moment, you were stealing the heart right out of his chest, and he was willing to just let you have it.

You step forward and put your hand on his arm, testing the waters. "Eddie" you start as you lean up to his face, "you look really, really cute all flustered" you whisper into his ear "but Hellfire still can't have the room tonight" You finish, kissing his cheek. He grabs your waist before you can pull away. "I may have a compromise" he says grinning. "Hellfire will find another spot for tonight...if, you let me drive you home later" doe eyes looking down at you as he cups your cheek in his hand.

"What makes you think I need a ride home Munson?" You tease, pulling at his collar. "The parking lot is empty, besides my van" he points out, shaking his head as he smiles. "I'll do you one better Eddie" you coo, "we can share the theater room, we are just painting tonight after all, but you have to let me sit next to you, deal?" You ask, watching the delight on his face as you speak.

"Oh I definitely think we can make that work sweetheart" he beams, pulling you closer to him, resting his chin on the top of your head. In a matter of 10 minutes he had spoken to you for the first time, and is now hugging your waist as you twiddle your finger into his curls. He can't believe his absolute stupid luck right now, holding the girl he's only dreamed about. Inhaling deeply, he gets a big whiff of your coconut shampoo and daisy perfume and his knees buckle.

*

"What the fuck? What do you mean we have to share the room?" Dustin exclaims, not happy with your and Eddies agreed arrangement. "No one ever sits in on Hellfire" Mike adds, crossing his arms as he glare towards you. "Watch it, both of you" Eddie commands, slapping both of the boys on the chest. "We are technically the intruders here, and the lovely Maiden and her friends were nice enough to agree to let us share the space." When he finished speaking, he looked at the boys as to say "don't you dare complain" before taking his seat at the head of the table.

To the boys surprise your party consisted of all girls. The rest of your group sat spread between the members of hellfire, making side conversations as you painted your figures, giving tips, and giving Eddies campaign lots of praise as the night went on. Dustin and Mike were still not stoked on the idea of a "competing party" as Mike so nicely put it, being able to see how they played, but everyone else was connecting and having a great time.

Eddies heart was full, seeing so many people who were passionate about something he loved all enjoying each others company. If he was being honest though, his favorite part was that you were sitting next to him, legs wrapped around his as you delicately painted. You would hum at yourself every now and then, satisfied with the progress you were making to your character, and that made Eddies heart swell.

He couldn't help but notice the several times you would completely stop what you were doing, becoming sucked into the happenings of the campaign, eyes wide with interest as Eddie spoke, leading the boys into certain doom. He watched you smile as he knocked off Mikes game piece, causing the boy to curse and throw his dice. He was falling harder and harder as the night went on, and judging by your constant touch, he was certain you felt the same.

After a brutal defeat the boys of Hellfire helped "The Maidens" (Gareth decided your party should be called) clean up before heading home, all having had exchanged numbers and made plans to hangout at lunch the next day. Eddie was picking up his DM notebooks after helping you put the paints back in the art room, eyes watching you as you fiddle nervously next to him.

"Whats wrong pretty girl?" He asks, shoving his materials into his bag. "Eddie, we're gonna hangout after this right?" You almost whisper, not wanting him to hear the unevenness in your voice. After spending hours next to him, wrapped around him in some way, you couldn't imagine going back to how it was.

"What are you talking about princess?" He asks, quickly moving to you, placing his hands on your shoulders. "You're definitely sitting next to me at lunch tomorrow, and honestly, you're kinda stuck with me now" he laughs, kissing your nose. You blush as you look up at him, seeing the genuine smile on his face, and twinkle in his eye as he looked at you. "Come on, let me drive you home, kay?" He places his hand on the small of your back and leads you forward.

He opens the theater room door and steps aside to let you exit first. You kiss his cheek and whisper as you stepped forward "I'd gladly be stuck with you, Munson." Taking his hand as he smiled down at you, heart offially exploding at your words.

2, 16, + 77 for the fic writer asks! (for 77, choose any of your fics!)

thank you! questions are here

2. Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

definitely write as i go! i have vague ideas for what i want to have happen at some point but i don't really plan much out. if i do it's just a really bare outline that i don't necessarily even stick to

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

there's like three i'm actively working on right now? there's hey, where did we go? which i'm working on the most and posting, then there's a darker monster!eddie one that i've been working on here and there. i may start posting that at some point when i have more of it done but i'm a little uncertain on it since it'll be pretty dark compared to anything else i've written. then i also have a pure smut fic that i'm working on that may very well never see the light of day bc i'm still embarrassed about posting smut O.O oh and i guess my big bang fic should also be counted on there? the first draft is pretty much done so i probably won't touch it again until after artist claims. then i also have several wips that i haven't touched in months so i doubt they'll ever get finished.

77. Do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from [Fanfic Name] story/chapter? 

thank you for this question! i'm just going to copy and paste a scene from one of the fics i'm the proudest of (near wild heaven) (spoilers for it btw):

Steve looked over at Eddie, who was focused on the water below. The setting sun caught on his face, turning him golden. Steve didn’t think he could take it anymore. He was thinking of Robin over the phone, saying “Tell him, dingus.” He was thinking how he didn’t want to go the rest of his life without Eddie knowing how he felt. He was thinking, God, Eddie is so fucking beautiful.

“I love you.”

Steve felt his breath leave his body as time slammed to a halt. He saw Eddie blink, like in slow-motion, then look at Steve.

“What?” he asked. 

The words were out there. Steve couldn’t be a coward now. He had to do this. Eddie had to know. 

“I love you,” he said, “I’m in love with you.” He saw Eddie’s mouth open slightly but he barreled on because he had to say this now or he was never going to be able to. “I’ve been falling in love with you for the past five years, God, maybe even longer. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, not since the first time we kissed.

“I love how you are with the kids, I love your voice when you sing, I love your hair, and your rings, and I love your music even though I hate your music, and I love how fucking smart you are, and I love—God—I love you, Eddie.”

Eddie was looking at him in a way that made Steve’s stomach plummet. His expression—Steve realized it was the same exact way Robin had looked at him when they were curled up on the floor of that bathroom at Starcourt. 

“Steve,” Eddie said, voice soft and heartbreakingly gentle and all Steve could think was Oh, God, please, no, this can’t be happening again—

“Steve, I’m sorry,” Eddie said. And he sounded so deeply and genuinely sorry. Steve felt a pattern of fissures forming on his heart, spreading out through his whole body. “I don’t…” Eddie went on, “Listen, I care about you so much—”

Steve bent over the railing and put his head in his hands. “God, Eddie, don’t,” he groaned.

“No, listen,” Eddie said, putting a hand on his back. “I do, okay? I really fucking care about you. You matter to me, so much. I just don’t… I can’t give you that.” 

Steve lifted his head just enough to look at Eddie. His brows were knit together, face pained in the twilight. 

“I’m sorry, Steve,” he whispered.

The fissures in Steve threatened to break open. He took a shuddery breath and tried desperately to hold himself together.

thank you for the questions i love doing these!

It’s a Deal (Chapter 12)

Chapter Summary: Bucky romances the shit out of you. In his own way.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 5.4k

Warnings: drinking, cursing, old friends partying together, smut, semi-public sex, oral sex (f), face fucking.  

A/N: I shouldn’t tease you guys as much as I do when I respond the comments, lol! Thank you so much for all the feedback, btw. Be nice to Bucky, he’s never been in love before. Thank you, @lesqui​, for sparing me some time even when you have so much in your plate. Love you. The link to my masterlist, where you can find the other chapters, is on my description. Feedback is highly appreciated.

Tag list for this story is closed.  

*no Alpine in this particular chapter, but the art is just too amazing and fitting for the two of them in this story not to seize the opportunity to use it when the talented @muffinshark​ gave me permission. 

The sour taste of lemon eases down the burn in your throat after the second shot of tequila of the night. Laughs and chattering sounds mingle with the beats around you in the dark place.

“So, how’s single life treating you, Y/n?” Brianna asks raising her voice to be heard, making the attention of your other friends, Maddie and Taylor, turn to you as well with expectant looks on their faces while the four of you stands around a tall and stylish table.

Since they all wanted to dance, you ended up choosing a restaurant that turned into a club later in the night. The place is a bit too fancy for your taste, but the music is good, as well as the drinks and the company. 

At college, they were your little gang, but with time, as your relationship with Eddie became more and more serious, the group ended up drifting apart, shrinking the relationship into occasional text messages and even more rare encounters. Maddie is the exception, since her fiancée, David, is friends with Eddie, which led to the four of you keep hanging out as couples.  

You feel guilty and stupid for letting them aside, because you missed this, so much. And so did they, for when you called them, they were all on board to start seeing each other more.

“Pretty good, actually,” you answer, taking a sip of your bottle of water. You don’t mind getting a bit tipsy that night, but you need to get an uber by yourself back home and you definitely don’t want it to escalate to you ending up drunk on a stranger’s car, “I mean, I’ve been seeing you guys more often, I’ve been reading a lot, watching all my favorite films-”

“Don’t you miss banging?” Brianna asks, frowning at you.

“Bri,” Taylor scolds, but turns her focus on you, anyway, waiting for an answer, as does Maddie. 

You clear your throat, making some time before answering. You haven’t told them about Bucky… you’re not even sure why, but you suspect that it’s just because you don’t know exactly how to define him in your life. For a reason you still don’t have clear in your mind, you can’t just refer to him as a guy you had a deal with to bang, “Ahm… I’m not focusing on that right now.” You shrug, not telling a complete lie.  

“Ugh, girl, you should,” Brianna grimaces, “I mean… we all know Eddie was your first and only,” She huffs, “Now that you’re out there in the world, there’s so much you could explore. I mean… so much.” She smirks.

“You better hurry up, though,” Maddie says, gulping down some water, “Eddie is determined to get back with you, he’s been talking to David a lot about it and, I mean, he proposed and all.”

The grimace on Brianna’s face twists hard, while Taylor smiles sympathetically at you.  

“I know…” You sigh, looking down for a second, “I just don’t know how I feel about it.”

“You know what? It was about time that relationship of yours with Eddie to be over-“

“Alright, alright,” Taylor, ever the peacemaker intervenes, shooting a warning look at Brianna, who stays quiet but doesn’t seem too happy about it, “Enough about exes and fiancées.” Taylor looks past your shoulders and nods, just when a small smirk curls up her lips, “Look at that guy right there… a damn greek God, he would be perfect for you to explore, like Bri said.”

You chuckle lightly, not really getting as excited as you are expected to be.

While Maddie stands on her toes to look for the guy, you spot when Brianna’s face light up right before she shrieks, “Holy shit, that’s not just some hot guy, that’s The Winter Fucking Soldier.”

The air catches in your throat as your eyes widen, “Bucky?” You swiftly turn towards the direction they’re looking at. And there’s the man himself. Sipping from a glass of whiskey while listening to what one of the two girls he’s talking to is saying. Before there’s a chance of his gaze lock with yours, your face snaps forward again.

You ignore Brianna squinting at you, and bring your bottle of water to your suddenly dry lips. Seeing him there made you, all of a sudden, a nervous teenager who spots a crush at a party. You do need to figure out your damn feelings soon…

“Oh, yeah…” Maddie says, realization running over her face, “That’s him. Damn he looks good… Y/N, oh my God, do you often come across him at work?” She asks, excited curiosity on her voice.

“Sometimes, yeah…” you mumble, biting your lip, still a bit shook by his presence. Could it be just a coincidence? You remember telling him you were going out, but you don’t remember telling him where you would be…

“You’re so lucky to work there,” Taylor sighs while your mind runs at full speed, “The Avengers… holy shit, why are they all so hot? That Falcon dude…”

“What about Captain America? That ass…” Maddie says, with a dreamy tone, “And Thor… Tony Stark…the damn Hulk...”

“Bucky?” Brianna finally speaks, squinting harder at you and interrupting Maddie while she went over all the Avengers names and hotness, “Bucky? When did you two get so intimate… and why are you so flustered to see him here?” She tips her chin and waves all over you. Her eyes go bigger before she smirks, “You sneaky little I’m not focusing on sex right now bitch, you’ve been fucking him, haven’t you? You’ve been boning the Winter Soldier.”

You’re sure you look like a deer caught in headlights, because Maddie and Taylor gaping expressions now match Brianna’s. Seeing no point or really no good reason to hide the blatant truth from your friends, you allow you initial fluster to mold into a smirks, “A lot of fucking, actually,” you admit.  

After the squeaky reaction, you tell them all about the deal you had with Bucky, just leaving out the part when he confessed his feelings. That’s still a sensitive topic to you and you’re not sure how much Bucky would be ok with having such an intimate situation exposed. The sex bits, though? You’re pretty sure he wouldn’t mind whatsoever.  

“Oh my god,” Taylor gasps when you’re done, “I’m gonna need another shot after that.” She fans herself before calling for a waiter.

“Make it four, we’re all pretty thirsty now,” Brianna wiggles her eyebrows at you, “Holy shit, and here I was thinking our girl was moping around and drying out from the inside of that vagina out.” She scoffs to herself, ”You go, you glorious bitch.” She reaches out for a discreet high five under the table, to which you quickly respond with a laugh.

“Ahm, guys…” Maddie calls, frowning at the screen of her phone after looking up with an apologetic expression, “David just texted me. He and Eddie are at the door to come in.” She cringes.

“Oh…” You frown at the news.

“Shit…” Brianna laughs, while the waiter arrives with the trail of shots Taylor had ordered, “This sure is going to be an interesting night.” She catches two glasses from the trail, handing one directly to you.

“Maddie, did you tell David to come? Of course he would bring Eddie…” Taylor tilts her head in a chastising way while the waiter places the other two shots on the table. 

“I didn’t know,” Maddie looks helpless, before turning to you, “Y/N, I swear… I can call David and tell them to go somewhere else, he will understand-“

“Shh,” you wave and shake your head at her dismissively, “Don’t worry, Mads, it’s fine.” You soothe her, “But my plans of going home sober have just gone down the drain.” You shrug, right before turning down your shot.

Grimacing at the sower taste, you glance behind your shoulder. You don’t spot Bucky there, anymore. You doubt he has left the place, but you catch yourself wishing that was the case. Eddie being there doesn’t bother you as much as the possibility of Bucky thinking you had made plans with your ex. 

Damn… you really need to put your feelings in check.

“Alright,” Brianna turns down her shot and claps her hands, “Come on, let’s dance, we can fix ourselves another shot in our way,” she decides, pulling you by the hand, to which you offer no resistance.  

You have no idea what Eddie or Bucky are doing there and of course it puts you off a bit, since you weren’t expecting an encounter with the two of them that night… but you know one thing, you came here to have fun and you might as well do exactly that.

While Taylor and Maddie choose to stay by the table, you and Brianna go to the dance floor. There’s a lot of dancing, drinking and laughs… so much laughing. The DJ puts on a playlist from your college decade and you two go wild with that.

“I need some water, be right back,” Brianna pants in your ear at some point, and you just nod, too involved in the music to stop dancing. This is one of the perks of staying single. You discovered a lot about you and just how much you enjoy dancing was something you’ve never been aware of yourself before.

A few minutes pass after Brianna left and you keep swaying to the music until you feel a pair of arms around your waist. A smile pops in your lips as an instant flashback surges in your mind: the first time you went out with Bucky… met his friends… danced with them until he came to get you… circling his arms around you just like that.

Chuckling, you turn around but the smiling face your gaze meets is not the one you saw back then.  

It’s Eddie.

“Hi,” he greets, keeping his hands on your waist.

You sure hope the disappointment isn’t etched on your face when you greet him back with a weak but friendly enough hello. You take a step back, unraveling yourself from his hands.

“Ahm…” He clears his throat, letting his arms fall to each side of him, “I saw you dancing when I came in.” He smiles, tilting his face closer to you and speaking loudly so you can hear him, “You looked beautiful…”

At the compliment your eyes shift to the floor and, not really sure how to respond, you just let out a small and breathy laugh. 

“I hope you don’t mind me being here, David called me and I… I’m not gonna lie, I really wanted to see you.” He leans even closer.

“Eddie…” you sigh, taking another step back as your eyes, almost involuntarily, roams around, trying to spot if anyone is watching you. And by anyone, your mind means Bucky. You find him. He’s up there in one of the mezzanines, engaged on a conversation with a group of people. You’re not even sure he’s seen you there. He’s not looking at you and he hasn’t come to say hello…

“Ahm,” Eddie brushes the back of his neck and your attention is on him again. He presses his lips in a tight smile before speaking again, “It’s been a while since I’ve seen the girls, I’m gonna go say hello and grab something to drink.” He nods towards the direction of the table you were with your friends before.

“Oh, ok, ahm, I’ll go with you,” you say and his whole face light up, “I need something to drink, too.”

He nods with a smile and gestures for you to lead the way.

Despite some initial wariness of Eddie’s presence among the girls, the night plays out pretty smoothly, actually. The little group you’re a part of engages in a jovial and light conversation. It seems like college all over again and it’s so much fun. You like that. Every once in a while, your gaze meets Eddie’s and, for that split of moment, it seems like nothing’s changed, but at the same time, it’s all different. Going out with your friends and having so much fun with Eddie at your side weren’t something that was a part of your relationship. But you could get used to that…

At the same time… more often than you dare to acknowledge, your gaze navigates unbidden to search for Bucky, to see what he’s doing, to check if he’s looking at you, to see if he’s still there or maybe has left… with someone else… Every single time your eyes find him, but not once he looks at you.

It makes you feel some kind of way… some longing kind of feeling.

When the shots and the water become a bit much, you excuse yourself to the ladies room, to where Taylor goes with you.

“So… it seems like you’re dealing pretty well with Eddie being here, huh?” she says, looking at you through the mirror while you both fix your lipsticks by the sink.

“Yeah…” you frown and shrug, “I’m kinda surprised to be honest. We almost never did this while we were together. I thought he didn’t like it, but maybe it was just us being too accommodated into a routine, I guess…” You look to your lips and resume to apply your lipstick.

“Yeah…” she closes her lipstick and places back in her purse, “Or he’s just making an effort to win you back…”

You sigh, watching her through the mirror, “Maybe… I don’t know…”

“What about…” she looks around the bathroom, there’s only a couple of other girls, but Taylor has always been the more discreet one, “the other guy? What’s really there? The way you talked about him, the way you looked at him… it didn’t seem like just sex to me…”

Oh… the million-dollar question. You put your lipstick away and turn to face her, “I don’t know…” You lick your lips after letting out an exhale, “He did tell me he was feeling something more,” you admit.

“Ah… I see…” She smirks. “What about you, huh?” She pulls you away from the countertop and to a small lounge area there in the restroom.

“I don’t know.” You shake your head, while a small smile curls your lip, “I mean…he’s… incredible… such a free spirit…” You grin wider as you think of him, “I had never met anyone like him before. I guess it’s impossible not to end up feeling something, but…” Your smile falters a bit, “I’m not sure how much he would be up to everything else, all the drama, I mean, that comes with a relationship… with experiencing a feeling deeper than just… sex.” You shrug and look down, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

“I see… but… Can I tell you something?” She asks, tilting her head.

You look up at her, nodding for her to continue. 

“Don’t get me wrong but, I feel like maybe you’re feeling and thinking that way because in your relationship with Eddie, you’ve learned that love, freedom, fun… all of that couldn’t work together and… I’m not sure that’s the rule of every relationship, though. It can be light, fun, meaningful and still be a committed relationship. It sure seems like you enjoy yourself with Bucky, and that’s what really matters in the end, right? They way you feel about yourself when you’re with someone?”

You just ponder her words for a second. You’ve been thinking about it a lot… the time you spent together makes you wonder how a relationship with Bucky would play out and… it makes your heart so light and hopeful… But it doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t lead to hurt or even that you have your feelings all figured out, yet.

“Anyway…” You shake your head, “He didn’t even look at me tonight, so…maybe it was really just an infatuation all along…” You run your tongue inside your lips, trying to suppress the heaviness suddenly in your chest, “Come on, let’s not spend the night in here.” You chuckle, nodding and walking towards the way out as Taylor just eyes you but follows you nevertheless.

The sight you come across as soon as you step out of the restroom makes you stop on your track.

He’s leaning by the wall of the alleyway, both hands behind his back, one leg folded up, his foot pressed against the wall. Dark grey t-shirt and blue jeans. Short fluffy hair in a combed back style. Perfect enough to grab… just how he likes it. Plump lips shadowed by a light scruff and soft blue eyes trained on you.  

Damn… He takes your breath away.

“Ahm, ok… yeah…gotta go, see you, later, Y/N.” Taylor says and swiftly leaves the scene.

All the while, you just don’t seem to be able to move your gaze away from him. When you spot the smile starting to curl his lips, you feel the tug on yours, too. And there you are, looking and smile at each other… the sounds of music and chattering muffled by the big door that separates the bathrooms area from the rest of the club.

Without uttering a word or parting his eyes from yours, Bucky extends a hand to you. An invitation…

Your gaze drops to the tempting hand, and then you glance at the door to the club. In your chest, your heart beats fast and almost louder than the music, like it’s making you notice it, telling you loudly and clearly you what it wants. When you look back at him, you have your lower lip pressed between your teeth and you step closer.

Your hands barely touch before he gently envelops yours in his. As the heat of his skin covers yours, his smile widens at you and he moves away from the wall he’s been leaning onto, moving towards the opposite direction of the music, leading you with him by his hand.

You hadn’t even seen the small black door by the end of the hallway, but he opens it and you follow him. Walking behind him, never letting go of his hand, he walks you through what seems like a storage room, until you find another door that leads you to a flight of stairs. Your breathing increases and you gulp down as you climb up the stairs with him. No questions. There’s no need.

When you get to the end of the steps, he stops in front of a two-leaf door and lets go of your hand to open it. He turns to you and, with that sweet smile of his, gestures for you step to the other side.

You breathe in the fresh outside air and step into what seems like a roof deck in construction. The sound of the door shutting behind catches your attention before you feel his heat on your back and his arms around your waist.

You lean back and your eyes flutter shut once he breathes in through your hair, making your arms go slack. Shit … you really missed him.

“It’s going to be pretty when it’s done, don’t you think?” He talks to you for the first time that night. His voice comes out in a low and raspy sound while the warmth of his breath covers your neck. Your thighs clench against one another, “I had a survey around the area once I got here and found this place. I thought it was perfect...” He whispers, tightening the hold on you.

You just let out a hum in response… The faded beats of music sound distant from where you are, but his hips start swaying, leading you with his rhythm... You sigh as a small smile pops on your lips when you cover his hands on your waist with yours. 

 “How’s your night so far, huh, having fun?” His low voice vibrates through the skin of your neck.

“Lots of it,” you let out a long exhale, leaning further against him.  

“That’s good.” A faint of a kiss lays on your shoulder.  “I saw you having fun down there with your friends…” He keeps the slow sway of his hips with yours, “So sexy, and beautiful,” he praises, and you lick your lips, “I hope you don’t mind me crashing in.”

A sharp gasp leaves your lips once he turns you around in his arms and you catch yourself by circling yours around his neck.

The intensity in his eyes is almost unbearable in a delicious way and his gaze roams around your face, carefully scrutinizing every single detail. With a will of its own, your lips part when your eyes drop to his, and next thing you see, you’re caged between him and the nearest wall.

He doesn’t relent to the silent plea in your parted lips and eyes focuses on his lips and, instead of locking them with yours like you can’t for a second deny that you want, he drags them over the bare skin of your neck up to your jaw.

“I thought that maybe I could add a little something to your night,” he whispers right above your pulsing point before his tongue darts to lick the skin there.

A wanton moan escapes you at the feeling… the sweet feeling of having him so close to you again. This time you spent apart from him… not for a second you forgot about the effect he has on your body… on you… and there he is again, turning you into putty under his touch.

“You look so sexy in this dress,” he continues and, without parting his lips from your neck, his hand skims up your bare thigh towards the hem of your dress, “Made me eager for a taste…” He whispers into your ears, turning your senses into a blurry fog when he drops on his knees in front of you.  

His both hands continue their ascend on your thigh and underneath your dress when a stubborn reasonable thought slips through the cloud of your senses.

“Bucky…” You pant, looking down at him, “I don’t…”

His hands stop right before they get to your underwear, “You don’t want it?” He asks, staring up at you.  

“No…I do...” you admit, completely unable to lie to him while you run a hand over your face, “Fuck, I do... I just…” You sigh, trying to organize your thoughts and words, “You said you’re…” You let out another frustrated breath by not being able to be straightforward with what you’re saying. He’s said he’s in love with you. You still don’t have a clear picture of your feelings, you’re afraid that if you go further with this, you might end up hurting him, which you absolutely do not want, “I’m still…” You shake your head, “I don’t wanna complicate things…”

“Shhhh,” he soothes, placing a long kiss on your thigh and then the other, which makes butterflies fly in your belly, before he looks up at you again, with a smile on his lips, “Don’t you worry, sweetheart… I told you before…” He brushes his hand lightly up and down your thighs, “I’m a grown ass man, I can handle my feelings…” He licks his lips and takes a piercing bite on his lower one, before aiming you a devilish dark gaze, “A grown ass man who wants a taste of that sweet pussy of yours... It’s just a taste. I missed it so bad…” he pleads, nuzzling into your mound through the fabric of your dress.

“Fuck…” your head falls back into the wall. If this is going to complicate things… you’re both adults who can deal with complications… right? You’re not that sure. All you’re sure about is the aching throb in your clit and your hands moving to lift up your dress.

Taking it as the yes that he needs, Bucky wastes no time, hastily helping you pull up the skirt of your dress up your waist. He swiftly drags the base of your underwear aside and digs in with an open mouth.

At the sensation of his wet and warm tongue on you again, shivers run up your skin to your nipples and your face contorts in a silent cry. Your hands close into tight fists, bunching tightly the fabric of your dress.  

He hooks a hand under your leg and places it over his shoulder, opening you up to him and you gasp, sneaking your fingers on his hair. He laps at your clit with a furious desire that makes your thoughts faint and your eyes shut, focusing your mind solely on the delicious mouth on you and how it brings an inferno upon your core and skin. The kind of feeling that only him can bring you, making you moan like that and kicking the air out of your lungs.

Bucky lets out a hum that vibrates all through your core and your eyes snap down to see his face shoved deep into your pussy, back and forward, while he grabs your ass and presses you harder against him. It’s like he’s desperate to taste you, to feel you, to have you all over him… and, damn… that makes you feel hotter and sexier than ever.   

 “Fuck,” you whisper under a heavy breath and grabs his hair harder.

That’s when he moves away and rests his cheek on your thigh, seeming on a fight for air himself while his stare remains on your exposed sex right in front of him, “Damn you taste perfect,” he pants before turning his face to grab the soft flesh of your inner thigh in a piercing but delicious bite that makes you yelp, “So good,” he breathes again, before flattening his tongue and licking a long stripe of your pussy.

“Bucky…” you whisper, letting your head fall back while your knees shake.

“Fucking perfect,” he moves to bite your other thigh sharply, which draws out a breathy and delighted laugh out of that dies shortly in a gasp when his tongue comes back to lick your pussy with renewed hunger.

You breathe erratically and stars appear behind your lids, shut in a dreamy state while he devours you out. He doesn’t use his fingers… only his mouth is enough to bring you to a little paradise in a roof deck under construction in the middle of the city.  

Your face snaps down at him with a glare once you can’t feel the wet and soft touch of his lips anymore. But the plea that comes out of his lips in a low and seductive tone makes it all worth it.

“Fuck my face, sweetheart…”

“What?” Your eyes widen a bit, in sheer disbelief, but with a hint of eagerness speeding up your breathing even more.

“Fuck my face,” he repeats, brushing his nose on your mound before laying a kiss on the spot, “You wanna come on my mouth don’t you? I want you to come all over my face, sweetheart, please...”

Fucking please? Does he really think he needs to beg you for that, “Oh…Yes, fuck yeah, I do.” Your voice comes out almost in a grunt.

He smirks and groans in response before digging in again and pushing your hard against his face.  Propped by a frenzy that rushes up your whole body, you do exactly what he asked of you. Positioning your hands on the back of his head you grind your pussy harshly up and down against him, feeling all of his beautiful face against your dripping and sensitive flesh.

His growing beard rasps against your thighs and it only makes the sensations even more intense. You can’t hold your loud moans back, that mixes up with his muffled groans, while you properly fucks his face. It’s all too much and it’s not long before you let out a strangled cry and your whole body shivers in a potent climax while you come all over his mouth and face, just like he asked.

Bucky tightens the hold on your thigh and ass, grounding you on your spot at the same time he peppers soft kisses on your mound, thighs, pussy… Your body spasms at the feeling and the aftershocks of your pleasure, until you can’t take it anymore and gathers the strength to grab his collar and pull him up to you. 

As soon as his face – glistening in your pleasure- levels yours, you steal his lips in a furious kiss. His taste is all yourself and, fuck, it drives you wild. You reach a hand down and cups his cock, moaning at feeling it hard and throbbing against your hand through his pants.

When you start gently palming it up and down, he grabs your pulse with his metal hand, stopping your moves.

Parting your lips from him, you frown, to which he answers smiling and bringing your hand to his lips, to place a kiss on it before lacing his fingers with yours and trapping your joined hands between your chests. The gesture itself is enough to make your face soften while you take in a deep breath.

“I’m gonna go home now,” he says, leisurely wiping his face with the back of his flash hand.

The frown comes back to your face, “Huh?”

He chuckles, having his face delightfully close to yours, “I’m not here to disturb you night, sweetheart. You go back and have fun with your friends, they seem great,” he brings his lips to your forehead, “You look so sexy in this dress,” he speaks with his lips on your skin, while your hands are still linked between the two of you.  His flesh one, he dips beneath the hem of your dress that now has fallen over your thighs again.

You’re suddenly out of breath one more time and can’t part your eyes from him, completely in lack of words.

As for him, he skims up your thigh and leans back to look down at his hand, “You go show this whole club how beautiful and hot you are. Dance with somebody,” he suggests, nonchalantly, like he’s not just now hooking a finger under the base of your underwear that he had pushed aside, to put it back in place and cover you up.

You watch, completely entranced, while he brings his finger to his nose, his eyes fluttering shut as he sniffs and hums, before his dark blue gaze is on yours again, “Let them know how good you smell… how perfect you are.”

A strangled noise comes out of you.

He chuckles, and cups the side of your neck, placing another kiss on your forehead, “I’m getting down first, and don’t worry. I know how to be invisible… don’t wanna bring any kind of drama to your night,” he says with no sign of bitterness or anything like that on his tone.

He doesn’t mention Eddie, but you swallow dry because you know he has him in mind when he mentions “drama”.

With a smirk on his face, he winks, before locking his lips on yours in a chaste but intense kiss. Too soon he parts away, walking through the same door you two hat gotten there by, leaving you completely speechless and wrecked behind.

~~~

When you were finally out of your daze and deciding that only tomorrow you would think of the many possible consequences to what had just happened, you managed to climb down the stairs and, after a quick stopped by the bathroom to put yourself as together as one could be at that situation, you walk your stubbornly wobbly legs towards the table with your friends again.

“Where the hell were you?” Once she spots you, Maddie shouts, with no control on the volume of her voice, looking quite a bit drunk with a margarita in hands, no sign of David or Eddie around the table.

“Ahm,” you risk a glance at Taylor, who avoids looking at you and focuses on sucking her own drink from the straw, “I saw a friend from work, I went to say hello.” You clear your throat.

“Don’t you bullshit us, bitch.” This time Brianna shouts, stepping forward and pushing you on the shoulder, making you almost fall ass-first to the floor if Maddie hadn’t helped you out by grabbing your arm. “Look at you. You look thoroughly fucked. Literally.” She starts laughing loudly, as the others follow.

“Shhhh,” you shush them, holding back your own laugh, “Holy shitballs, you guys. The whole club doesn’t need to know.”

The three of them start a drunken mess of applause, cheers and shrieks at your little slip. You’re too involved with them to notice that a particular pair of ears isn’t really that far from the table and hears the whole interaction. 

~~~

To be continued...

spring break- e.m (preview!)

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Female!Reader

Summary: you and your friends decide to go on a trip together. only problem is you’re surrounded by couples…and your nemesis

Warnings: SMUT (18+, minors dni),ENEMIES TO FUCKING LOVERS BABY!! one bed trope(kinda)! angst, bullying, teasing, p in v sex, oral sex (female receiving), me being bad at writing smut so i’m sorry, not a happy ending btw

Request: Yes

Word Count: 6.1k

A/N: i have been DYING to write an enemies!to!lovers fic with some steamy smut and i got a request asking for it so i decided to go ahead and do so with our main boy eddie. this is also the first time in a while that i’ve written smut, and it is my first smut fic for eddie, so be mindful of that because idk what i’m doing. enjoy! - sava

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you whisper to yourself with a slam of your car door, walking towards your group of friends with bags in hands. They were all standing in a circle in front of the cabin you all agreed to rent for a few days during your final spring break of high school, wanting to spend some quality time together before most of you graduated high school and sped off into the sunset on your own journeys with Hawkins in the rear view mirror.

Part of you was reluctant to join the trip, seeing as it was two couples, Vickie and Robin, plus Steve and Nancy, which ultimately would make you a fifth wheel the entire time. They all assured you that it would be a fun trip and you wouldn’t be left out, having thought of fun activities for everyone to participate in, so you agreed…with one condition. They could not invite your absolute nemesis, Eddie Munson.

Eddie “the freak” Munson was the bane of your existence. Sure, he was welcomed into your friend group at the beginning of the school year, having lost ability to make friends with the other seniors because of his status and the fact he had been a senior for 2 years now. On top of that, Nancy’s brother, Mike, and a few more of his little friends had joined Eddie’s Hellfire club at the beginning of the year and Eddie took them in under his wing, so Nancy had a soft spot for the metalhead.

Despite his occasional nice gestures, he poked fun at you every chance he got. You weren’t exactly the queen of Hawkins High, but you ran in some of the same circles as the more popular kids, as did Nancy. Being friends with Steve Harrington since forever was an added bonus, so the metalhead teased you and almost straight up bullied you in some cases every chance he could. He didn’t act this way towards Nancy or Steve. Just. You.

You learned to turn that sadness he caused you into anger, beginning to become annoyed by his presence rather than be upset by it. You started poking back at him, little jabs here and there, but never to the extent that he did sometimes. But even though it caused you pain and the amount fighting the two of you did draining most of your energy, you swallowed your pride when he was around your friends and just let it be, knowing that you weren’t going to see him much, hell, hopefully at all once you walked that stage in just a few short months.

But when you pulled up to the cabin, you noticed that all too familiar van was parked in front, with the messy curls bouncing up towards your friends who had already joined. To say you were pissed at the sight was an understatement.

“What the hell are you doing here?” You ask, a few feet from the rest of the group. They all turn to you with guilty expressions while Eddie smirks to himself.

“Relax there, princess. Believe it or not I was actually invited,” he tells you, taking a few steps closer to you. He had a habit of getting in your face when saying all the shit he spewed your way. You’ve grown used to it, his cigarette breath fanning over you as he spat insult after insult at you. 

“Well that’s a shame. One of my contingencies was having the pleasure of knowing you wouldn’t be joining us,” you tell him, matching his attitude in an instant, your sweet voice jabbing at him.

“So you did think about me joining you! What, did you think you wouldn’t be able to control yourself all isolated in the mountains?Scared that you’d realize you’re in love with me on this trip, huh?” He asks, his face mere inches from your own at this point, with his sing-songy voice pestering you with silly notions.

“In your fucking dreams, Munson,” you spit out, the venom in your voice oozing out as the words left your lips. You push past him and walk up the stairs towards the front door of the cabin, getting worked up just from the first few minutes of the metalhead’s presence. 

“Guys, can you please not fight on this trip? We all just want to have a good time and create some lasting memories,” Steve sighs out, his hand coming to his face and dragging it down slowly. You turn on your heel and look at your friends, their faces silently begging you to not start anything. 

“I will try my best, but no promises for him,” you say. Turning back towards the door, you open it and take in the beautiful cabin around you.

i hope y’all enjoyed this little preview! comments, likes, and reblogs are greatly appreciated! be sure to check out the full fic releasing monday, july 25th at 8pm US EST

Run - part 2

warnings: violence  word count: 2300 a/n: as requested. btw you’re all so sweet, can you hear me crying??

Kai’s grip around the back of your neck was unforgiving as he hauled you out of the car, the grit of his driveway biting into your knees as you lost your footing and fell. Hissing in discomfort, you let him pull you up, both of you wordless as you let yourself be dragged up the front steps of Kai’s house.  The door was kicked open by Kai and you were shoved over the threshold, somehow managing to stay upright. You could make out quiet voices in the living room to your right, voices that fell silent as Kai slammed you to the hard wooden floor, landing a harsh kick to your ribs that left you gasping on the ground. And then you were being dragged again, Kai’s grip unrelenting as it tangled in your hair once more and you were pulled into the living room. When he let go, helping you to the floor with a shove, you were able to lift your head, meeting the cold stares of the cult members as they leered down at you, all of their faces painted with distaste. Your hands began to shake, knowing full well that the jealously and anger of the other members might well be allowed to turn physical at Kai’s order. Kai seemed to realise this too and he smirked, stepping forwards so that his scuffed shoes were mere inches away from your face. You didn’t dare move, your laboured breathing filling the silence of the room.  “Let me have a turn, Divine Ruler.” One of the men to Kai’s right spoke gruffly. It was silent for a moment before the sound of skin on skin impact thudded through the room. You grimaced, looking up slowly to see the member on the floor, cradling the side of his face and Kai sneering down at him, shaking out him knuckles. “None of you get to touch her.” He hissed. “I just want you to get a good look at her and keep it in mind to compare how she looks in a few days time. To remind you,” your shoulders shook violently as he raised his voice, “what happens when you scheme against me.” Footsteps sounded down the hall at the commotion, Beverly appearing moments later in the doorway. Her eyes landed on your cowering figure on the floor, filling with desolation before quickly becoming vacant. Her face went slack, her expression becoming as uncaring as the men crowded around you.  You knew she had to be careful to mask her emotions, otherwise she risked revealing that she had been the one to warn you of Kai’s pursuit of you. But the possibility that she hated you as much as everyone else in the room still stung as it cut deep.  You watched in silence as Beverly’s eyes drifted across the space, slightly to the left as you followed her gaze, every thought eddying from your pain-clouded mind as your stare settled on one of the cult members. Liam. Satisfaction filled your head as you regarded him coldly, glad to find that he looked just as terrified as you felt. A little smile formed on your lips. And then your body snapped into motion, moving before you had a chance to process your thoughts. You were on your feet in less than a second and upon the boy in two, the crowd parting with a cacophony as gasps as you lunged at the boy, knocking him to the floor and clawing his face, leaving deep marks in his skin with your nails. Blood spilled instantly, dripping down his pale face in stark contrast. The others scattered and started shouting but none of the moved, too scared to interfere as you yelled in Liam’s face, managing to land a few hard punches on his face. “You lying prick,” you screamed at him as his arms rose in a weak attempt to protect himself. You felt a strong pair of arms loop around your waist and you were pulled off Liam. To your utmost gratification, his face was bloody.  You bucked in Kai’s grip as he pulled you away from the trembling boy who was being helped to his feet by two other members.  “Let go of me.” You snarled at Kai, fighting to turn around in his arms, wanting to hurt him too. To hurt everyone in this room. “He lied!” You declared, trying to dig your feet into the smooth wood floor as you were hauled out of the room, Kai struggling to lift you up and flip you over his shoulder as you screamed insults at him, clawing at his back as he walked the both of you up the stairs.  Your fists bashed against his back in desperation, but to no avail. Kai kicked the door to his bedroom open before throwing you down on the bed, leaping upon you immediately. You were once again pinned beneath his considerable weight and he snarled at you to “stop fucking moving” as you writhed on the bed beneath him, your brain screaming at you to throw him off and go after Liam again, the boy who had lied at your expense and had gotten away with it. To spill more of his blood. “Y/N, STOP.” You stilled your movements, pulling feebly at your arms as they were pinned above your head.  “He lied, Kai.” You insisted, voice trembling in rage and fear. His face was cold above yours but you caught the glimpse of uncertainty that flashed in his eyes. “Why the fuck would I want to kill you? Why would I want to lead the cult? I can’t do that. I don’t want to do that and I know that you realise too, please, Kai,” you rambled on, “Liam came to me last week asking me to help him get out of the cult and I didn’t want him dead so tried to help him excuse himself from the meetings, Kai, you know I would never hurt you, I-”  “Stop,” he cut you off grimly as your eyes filled and overflowed with hot tears that stung as they worked their way down your face.  “You have to believe me. Please.” The last word was carried on a sob. “I said stop.” He repeated, firmly. You fell silent, chest heaving with the force of your weeping that you didn’t try to conceal.  “You’re telling me that he lied?” He spoke with a calmness that rallied the anger within you. “Yes, that’s what I’m saying.” You snapped at him, shrinking back into the bed at the warning that flashed in his gaze as he considered your words.  “I’ve been with you for years, Kai. Years. He’s been here for a matter of weeks.”  You tried to reason with him, your sobs quieting as you watched his gaze soften more and more with each word. “And he never would of accepted your offer if you hadn’t have promised him a place to stay. You know this, please, Kai.” Kai studied your tear and blood streaked face carefully and your chest swelled hopefully as his hand drifted to your cheek, caressing the side of your face softly.  But then his grip tightened on your face, his hand clenching onto your jaw painfully and you winced as he jerked you head back, exposing your bare throat to him. “If you’re innocent, then why did you run?” And with that he dragged you up, moving off you so that he could tug you by your face off the bed.  “No!” You screeched. “No, KAI, PLEASE.”  He lugged you across the room, to his closet, pulling open the door to the small space and slapping you hard enough to see stars before shoving you in. You let out an ungodly squeal as he slammed the closet door shut, the sound of the lock clicking into place a condemnation that summoned the most primal part of you.  You kicked at the door, slamming your fists against it repeatedly and pleading to Kai as he walked away, the sound of his bedroom door closing sending you into a panicked frenzy.  Your fingertips bleated in pain as you tore at the door, fists throbbing as they were pummeled against the hard surface repeatedly. But it was pointless, Kai was long gone. You sat back, heaving down air as you tried to calm yourself. “Please don’t leave me in here.” You whimpered into the unappeasable darkness. What if he just didn’t come back? What if he had decided that he didn’t need you around anymore and just left you to rot. The dark enclosed space was illuminated by the borders of light around the doorway and you lifted your shaking hands into the dim light, frowning as you saw that your knuckles were bloody and swollen. Helplessness like you had never known it settled over you and your body shook violently as the events of the past two hours finally caught up to you. The sound of your cries were smothered by the darkness of the closet as you curled your knees to your body and sobbed luxuriously into your hands. ____________________________✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*_________________________________

Kai returned later that day, the light stinging your eyes as he opened the door and stared down at you blankly. You reluctantly met his gaze, your eyes puffy and face blotchy, unsure of how long you had been locked in the dark. Your gaze flicked down to his hand, seeing that he was holding a sandwich, which he presented to you, holding it out and watching you carefully as you extended an aching arm to take the plate from him. “No.” He said quietly, moving the plate out of your reach before taking the sandwich and chucking it onto your lap. You scowled as the contents spilled out of the bread, smearing onto your pants.  “I don’t trust you with the plate.” He explained quietly, tearing his gaze from you as he closed the door again in your face. “You’ll probably break into pieces and use it to cut your own throat or some shit.” He muttered, his voice muffled through the door. You took a steadying breath as the darkness closed in around you once more.  “Wai-wait.” You called after him as you heard his footsteps heading towards his bedroom door. Your voice was raw but he heard you, his foot falls halting. “Can I please have a glass a water?”  Kai was silent as he considered your question. But then he walked the last few steps to his door.  “Maybe tomorrow.” His words were cold, the sound of his bedroom door closing condemned you to silence once more. ____________________________✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*_________________________________ Kai left you in his tiny closet space for days, only letting you see light when he came to bring you scraps of food, barely enough to keep your stomach’s incessant rumbling at bay. Your tailbone burned throughout it all, forcing you to shift your position every ten minutes, making sleep almost impossible. Any sense of time had long since evaded you and you were forced to sit in your own blood, piss and tears for god knows how long before Kai finally unlocked the door, holding a hand out to you silently and helping you to your feet. You looked at him, eyes dull as you held you upright, scanning your body and grimacing at the smell of you. You swallowed, apprehension building in your gut as you anticipated his next move.  His gaze softened. “It’s over now.” He assured you softly, bringing your head to his chest and embracing you tightly. You didn’t return his hug, fresh tears squeezing their way out of your eyes, wetting the front of his shirt as he held your head to him. Pulling back, he eyed you in concern as you stood motionless before him. You met his gaze. Was that...guilt? Frowning, you struggled to discern the emotions displayed on his face before you scooped you into his arms, pressing a careful kiss to your temple. You didn’t have the energy to protest as he carried you into the bathroom, setting you down on the counter beside the sink and tugging off your pants and shirt.  Exhaustion clouded your consciousness and you let Kai take control, allowing him to lift you down from the counter and leading you to his shower. He helped you wash, scrubbing the piss from between your legs and the blood from your hair. Kai apologised to you before peeling off your underwear and you cringed as you became completely exposed to him, but he consoled you softly as your face flushed and you began to protest weakly. Eventually you gave yourself over to him, the need for sleep weighing down on your body.  After he had washed every inch of you, you let him lead you out of the shower and wrap you in a warm towel, taking your hand to bring you to his bed. You fell asleep as Kai took up a hairbrush in his hand and struggled to work it through your knotted hair, letting you fall forwards onto the bed and making sure you were completely dry before folding the covers over you and leaving the room, allowing you to sleep deeply.  You were woken up several hours later by Kai who helped to sit you up and presented you with a large glass of water, not leaving your side until you had drained the entirety of the glass. “I’m fine.” You said to him sharply as he mother-henned over you, hurrying to his dresser and finding a warm shirt for you wear as you sat yourself up, using his duvet to cover your exposed chest. But Kai really didn’t seem interested in your body as he passed you the shirt and let you pull it on yourself.  You ignored him completely, scowling at the floor as you got dressed. “I meant what I said to you in the car.” He said quietly after several beats of silence as you pushed yourself to your unsteady feet. He took a glance at you as you had to take a moment to steady yourself on your feet. You knew what he meant, the accidental declaration that he had made. “Why the fuck would I kill someone I love?” The memory of this brought a glower to your face and you brushed past him as you exited the room. Without so much as turning to address him directly you bit out, “yeh? It’s going to take a hell of a lot to prove it to me, Kai.” He turned to follow you, a reply forming on his lips. But it was your turn to close the door in his face, your turn to cut off his words as you took the stairs the kitchen, a single clear thought occupying your head: Liam. 

Badass || Bill Denbrough x Reader

Day 2 of Fictober

Pairing: Bill Denbrough x [gn] Reader

Requested: how about you do a bill x reader where the reader is a badass but still in the losers club???? just came up with it!!! btw love ya work and love ya!!!!

A//n: Aw thank you so much! That’s so sweet of you. Love you too darling, hope you like it 💛💛💛 and thanks for being so patient like the rest y'all 😘 [also i am in no way a badass so I’m sorry, I tried lol] edit: OKAY IM ACTUALLY SO PROUD OF THIS, HOLY CRAP?? And again, i finished and pressed saved draft 30 SECONDS before midnight, so fight me this counts lol i just had to set up the title and tags and stuff on my computer before posting. anyways, thanks for waiting for this request, i hope you enjoy this, like i said, im actually surprised at how proud of this one i am!

Fictober Prompt: “that’s the easy part”

Warnings: Blood

“ROCK WAR~!”

The next thing you knew, rocks were soaring across the stream straight for your head. Luckily for your skull, your reflexes were faster than you remembered and you managed to duck before a giant stone could knock you out.

And yet you still heard a thump?

You peek out from behind your arms, looking behind you to see Richie laying flat on his ass, his glasses askew. You winced before you caught sight of a giant rock near his foot and quickly made a grab for it.

Your glare stretches across the stream, settling on the leader of the bigoted pack. You kissed the rock as you met his eye, a devilish smirk stretching across your face as you wound up. Bowers was scrambling for ammo but you had already released. The rock found its target with a satisfying ‘thunk’ leaving Bowers on his ass clutching his bleeding nose. He pulls his hand away, gaping at the overwhelming amount of blood that had already painted his hand before locking eyes with you.

“KISS MY ASS, HENRY!” You hollered with a triumphant smile. “YOU TWISTED FUCK!”

“What the fuck?” Belch and Victor began scrambling back, looking around desperately for rocks of their own.

The Losers spared wide eyed glances your direction as they unleashed a storm of rocks on the now deeply unsettled Bowers gang. Bill was the only one who hesitated, his wide blue eyes frozen on you when you turned to give him a smirk. You had been looking for ammo and it seemed he had the perfect one. You cocked a brow, your devilish smirk still dominating your face as you gestured to the stone in his hand.

“You gonna use that, Billy Boy?”

You threw a few quick glances across the barrens making sure your weren’t gonna get hit. Luckily morale seemed to be growing scarce over there.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t completely gone.

“Ow,” Bill hissed, right hand clutching his left shoulder. “F-f-uck.”

Your head whipped around on your shoulders again to see Victor Criss’s upper lip twitching into a satisfied smile as he looked at Bill. You returned your attention to your boyfriend and the rock he held out for you.

“Let me,” you seethed.

You snatched the rock up, stomping forward with a wild glare in your eyes that was enough to intimidate the bleach blonde. Victor was already on his heels and running, but you weren’t letting him get away that easy. You threw with all your might and watched with pride as it soared through the air and hit him directly on the spine that was poking through his back. He cried out in pain as he fell to the ground, his chin meeting the very rock bed that fueled the fight.

“EAT SHIT,” You spit. “YOU LACKEY ASS FUCK!”

~~~~

“Turn it off!” Beverly cried. “TURN IT OFF!”

The projector in Bill’s garage had quickly turned into It’s stage as It put on a horrific display for you and the rest of your friends. What was just once pictures of Derry, suddenly turned into pictures of Bill’s family - you missed Georgie terribly, having grown so close with him the year before he died when you and Bill first got together. And now you were all staring death in the eyes as It manipulated the very air in the room around you. Every click of the projector put you on edge, the stroking effect and of course the child eating clown tormenting you all.

It was hard to process your own thoughts as they were quickly drowning in everyone’s screams and your own fears. You clutched Bill tightly to your side, your arms linked and your fingers stitched together. Everything was moving so incredibly fast it was near impossible to process until you realized you weren’t holding Bill’s hand anymore.

“Y-Y/n!” He cried, tugging at the back of your shirt before it slips from his grip. “Y/N!”

Mike had already unplugged the projector, that much you knew. But you were fucking desperate. You lunged for the projector, gripping it tightly as you held it high above your head. With a guttural scream, you threw it as hard as you possibly could into the cement floor. It broke instantly into several unidentifiable pieces, the room now completely dark and eerily silent.

Heaving, you finally look up to meet your friends faces. Each of them were gaping at you, an expression they seemed to always be wearing around you.

“Well,” you say finally. “I think it’s safe to say we found It.”

~~~~

“How hard is it,” you seethed, your voice growing in volume. “to NOT wander off? In a FUCKING HAUNTED HOUSE?!”

You took all your anger and fear out on the door Richie was being held in. Your elbows were practically glued to the surface while your fists and forearms repeatedly pounded on the door. First Eddie, now Richie. You swear, these idiots had to me smarter than this.

“Richie!” Bill joined your side, pounding on the door that had closed all on its own.

“RICHARD!” You pounded on the door again, your anger turning to pure fear that was now stinging your throat and eyes as tears began to well. “This is not fucking funny, open the goddamn door asshole!”

Your hand wraps around the doorknob again, and you shake the handle, jostling it around in hopes something will cave. When the door flew open, you didn’t know whether to chalk it up to luck, skill, or it was all still part of It’s torment but you didn’t care. Richie was alive, and tumbled into your and Bill’s grip.

“Richie!” You hugged the boy tightly, then pulled away with your signature glare. “WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING!?”

“N-n-no t-time,” Bill says, looking between you and Richie with determination in his eyes. “L-let’s get outta here.”

A muted thump answered before you could. You, Richie and Bill all looked to the source of the noise to see the moth-eaten mattress from earlier was now shifting by itself. It looked as if it was filled with jumping beans. A melon sized lump grew in the center before the fabric split to reveal the disheveled and muddied up head of your friend.

He smiles at your twisted expressions. “Wanna play loogie?”

Your reflexes are faster than your thought process and you run forward. Just as a strange black goo starts to spill from fake Eddie’s mouth, your leg was swinging through the air. Your left foot connected with the left side of his jaw, narrowly missing the sizzling black ink and Eddie’s head popped off his body as you put it across the room.

It sails through the air, his greasy hair catching several cobwebs as it spins. Specks of the goo go flying landing on the walls and ceiling before the small head collides with a disturbing ‘thunk’.

“What the fuck?!”

“Holy shit,”

Eddie’s head lands in the far corner of the room where it rolls back and forth on his right ear before settling. He was groaning as if all the spinning had made him dizzy. The ooze of black goo came out even faster as if he were ralphing, and it was now pooling across the floor and inching towards their feed.

“Oh, that’s fucking GROSS!” Richie looks quickly to you. “And now you made him angry!”

“At least I did something!”

“Guys,” Bill pleads. “C-come on,”

The pool of black tar is spreading fast and you and Richie don’t have to think twice to listen to Bill. You all turn on your heel, only to find three doors instead of one.

Very Scary, Scary, and Not Scary At All.

Not Scary At All was the winner, Bill and Richie quickly decide. And despite your protest that it was all clearly a trick and the doors were misnomers, they opened the Not Scary At All.

“Where’s My Shoe?”

The light was turned on to reveal the severed body of Betty Ripsom and you had promptly decided you had had more than enough.

“WHERE THE FUCK WERE HER LEGS?!” Richie cried.

“I’ve got a guess but I’m not sticking around to find out.” You growled.

You cast a glance behind you to see the tar had eaten up most of the floor, giving you little room to do what you wanted. Luckily, you didn’t need much. You took a few steps back and looked at the door in the center, your eyes settling deep into the crimson letters spelling “scary.” You were certainly glad you realized when you did that unlike the door that held Richie hostage, this one could easily be broken down from where you stood.

You sighed. “I have to do everything.”

~~~~

“WELCOME TO THE LOSERS CLUB, ASSHOLE!”

Richie’s bat swung through the air and knocked the clown back. Pennywise quickly recovered and lunged for the nearest target with a disgusting growl. You quickly scrambled for a weapon as Mike stepped up to bat. He threw the fence iron rod at the monster but it was stopped midair when It’s jaw unhinged and out came several charred arms holding it in place. More and more reached out from inside It’s throat and made a grab at Mike who was fighting back the force of all the arms.

You never happier to have been too slow to save your friend when you saw Stanley pick up one of several spare iron rods off the ground. With a brave determination, he launched forward with a fierce battle cry as his torch came down on the branch of arms that now recoiled, saving Mike. It stumbled back, the charred arms slinking back into its mouth and disappearing and Pennywise stumbles again when Richie kicks It forward and away from him. Unfortunately that brought It right to Stanley.

“Stan, watch out!” Bill cries from your side.

But it’s too late, It’s head had already changed to the same horribly contorted lady that had you had already found attacking your friend. Only this time it was still wearing It’s clown suit, and it was racing straight for Stan.

“Stan!” You cried, already running forward after him only to stop second later.

Yet again Stanley roared, striking the clown across the face with the most furious look you had ever seen on him. Despite the horrifying circumstances, you were quite proud. You quickly fell back into line, ready to fight with the others and you smiled yet again when Mike followed up Stan’s strike with a devastating blow of his own.

The small moment of victory was soon cut short - a pattern you were currently getting used to - when a pair of red tentacles-turned-crab-claws pulled Mike to the ground.

“Mike!” Eddie shrieked.

Mike was able to barrel roll to safety as as It advanced on him. The end of each gigantic claw striking the earth and narrowly missing him and you and your friends quickly followed not knowing what to do. You couldn’t watch it anymore, and you hated yourself for what you were about to do but you knew you would simply never forgive yourself if you lost Mike, or any of your friends.

For what Bill wished was the first time of the summer, he felt you leave his side as you charged headlong into danger. Another guttural scream left you as you hurled yourself onto It’s back, your iron spike in front of It’s neck, both hands on either side of the rod and you pulled as hard as you could.

Pennywise’s disturbing, maniacal laughter grew even scarier, something you didn’t think was possible as he began to suffocate. You let yourself drop back down to the ground, your grip still tight on your weapon as you used your position to pull It down to the ground. It was still laughing through chocked breathes but it had done what you hoped, and stopped, Mike had gotten to safety with the Losers.

And for one glorious moment you felt indestructible. Until you saw it shift before you’re very eyes and your eyes widened, as did the eyes of your friends and Bill. It’s complete figure changed, starting with It’s head. You and the Losers no longer saw a painted lady, a mummy, a horrible memory, an abusive father, or even a late little brother. But they saw you, their friend Y/n, cowering and crying under the iron rod that pinned you to the ground by the neck.

“Please,” It whimpered, bottom lip quivering horribly. “Please don’t. I don’t wanna die.”

The real you was staring at the sight of yourself, the real fake you that you always tried so hard to push down. You knew it was Pennywise, but it was enough to make you choke completely. You were always so confident, and you were good at sticking up for yourself and the rest of the Losers. At least that’s all they ever saw, that’s all you ever let them see. Deep down you were terrified, and much more than that you were terrified that your own fear would get in the way of protecting your loved ones.

Like now.

“Y/n?” Bill’s soft voice called out to you, breaking you from your spell.

You look down at your blubbering face, tears streaking down your cheeks as you begged yourself for mercy. Several pleas leaving your lips when finally you pulled the rod back. Your eyelids flicker open, gazing back up at you and watch your every move cowering.

“Y/n?” Ben asks.

You don’t answer, you just straighten, your demon double cowering beneath you and it only angers you more to know none of this is It’s own fear. It was yours. It was mocking you.

Which was pretty stupid, considering you still had the spike.

You bare your teeth as you summon your strength, throwing the end of the spike into the ground, going right through your throat.

~~~~

You watched with head on Bill’s shoulder as another drop of blood from your palm fell onto the grass. You were trying to think about anything but the pain, and with everything you had faced this summer, you certainly had the pick of the litter.

“It feels different now,” you say, voice quiet. “And not just cause It’s gone, ya know?”

You even hate to let yourself believe that, but for the sake of your sanity and the chance of every getting another night’s sleep you’d have to believe it. And knowing Bill as long as you did, you know he felt it too.

You pick your head up off his shoulder and look to his gaze break away from the hills in the distance to meet your eyes. For a moment he doesn’t say anything, and you know for sure he’s thinking it too. Beverly was leaving for Portland, Stan said he heard whispers from his parents that they might be moving and that was all on top of the heavy weight of your guys’ trauma that had already begun to drain everyone.

“A-a-at least we-we’ve got each o-other,”

You smiled, nudging his shoulder with your own.

“Big sap,” you chuckled.

He smiled a little, enjoying the small moment between the two of you. But it disappears when his mind returns to image that had been replaying in his mind nonstop since Neibolt. The image of your cowering form that bothered you so much. He had never seen you - the real you, that was being confronted, that is - so distraught. He gulps, gathering his strength.

“W-what made you s-see that?” He asks.

You don’t answer for a long moment, and Bill fears he’s upset you. Or confused you, but he doubts that is the case. Finally, you look up at him, and lick your lips nervously.

“I’m scared Bill,” you croaked, heart pounding wildly at the admission. “I’m always worrying about you, I’m always worrying about Richie, Mike, Eddie, Stanley, Bev, and Ben. I’m always worried something is going to happen. I’m always scared something’s gonna happen to the ones I love, and I get scared that I’m not gonna be enough to protect them.”

You take a deep breath, swallowing all the air you lost in your unintentional rant. Somewhere during your confession, your gaze broke away from Bill’s gaze and now here you were afraid to even look him in the eye.

There’s another silence that Bill finally ends after a small thoughtful moment.

“It’s okay to be scared, Y/n,” he says, pulling your eyes to him. “I-I-It’s part of being h-human.”

You bite the inside of your cheek, trying your best to banish the image of your cowardly form from your mind. Suddenly the sting of your cut didn’t hurt so bad.

You looked back into Bill’s soft eyes, and shrugged.

“I know, but it doesn’t make me feel too great either.”

He nudged you again with a charming smile.

“Well, y-you’re still a badass. Y-You’re always s-standing up for us,”

You chuckled weakly, sending him a smirk.

“That’s the easy part,” you say. “It’s looking out for myself that’s harder.”

“T-t-tell ya what?” You raise a brow at his sudden demeanor. “I’ll be t-the b-b-badass lookin out for you,”

You laughed, leaning in and giving him a lingering kiss that turned his cheeks absolutely scarlet.

You smiled when you saw this. “Thanks Billy Boy. Appreciate it. But I’d still like to work on myself a bit, ya know?”

He smiles again, this time triumphantly. “Deal.”

I love how people will defend crwby when they give jackshit about rep and their fans. Like with clover (i know they didnt make it official but just look at eddies stupid tweet). They fucked up, it was queerbaiting, so the best course of action is to imply that harriet had feelings for clover and bad mouth the dead man. They could have just say "everyone of us was acting stupid and he died" nooo clover wouldnt leave qrow alone and robyn says later that clover is the lesser huntsmen. They could just say "hey clover was like a brother to harriet, she was his second in command, this hurts her very much" nooo clover was important for harriet, you know important. How does that even fit? They didnt have the balls to stand to their mistake and write about it, so they just twisted and turned so they could ignore what they wrote the last volume. Brilliant (and yes i will forever be bitter that qrow doesnt take responsibility for causing clovers death and just whines about his semblance)

Honestly, the way that Qrow/Clover was handled is a big blight on the company in my opinion. There's a great blog called @fairgame-was-queerbait where you can see lots of information about why Clover and Qrow was one hundred percent queerbaiting, and people are right to be mad about it.

The way that the writers really spent their time pointing fingers instead of actually admitting that they messed up... And the way that members of the fandom have been refusing to recognize it as queerbaiting, BYG, or problematic has also been staggering. This was something that deeply hurt LGBTQ+ RWBY fans, especially mlm that weren't otherwise represented. Eddy Rivas has apologized for the hurt fans went through, but not in a way that recognized that the hurt had been a direct result of their actions. And whether that action was directly intentionally contributing as a writer or just not checking the animation and marketing or letting the show go as is despite seeing it and knowing how it'd be taken, or never telling people not to get their hopes up and that the ship was not intended despite knowing that it was quickly becoming one of the more popular RWBY ships is besides the point.

Fans have been quick to say that obviously FG was unintentional and that Clover couldn't have been meant to be read as gay because "the writers would never do that," while ignoring Miles Luna's discussions regarding Pilot Boi. He had been told about how Bury Your Gays was a very harmful trope and therefore decided not to include Pilot Boi being gay, but then 'was kicking himself' over not doing it anyway because Pilot Boi was popular. The fact that these fans are so delusional to believe that the writers would never do something, when they literally expressed that they wished they'd done it. Why is it so hard to believe that the writers would cross that line with Clover when one of them openly regretted not crossing that line earlier?

(Although as a side note, I wouldn't necessarily go so far as to say that Qrow 'caused' the death of Clover. Everybody lost braincells there in that fight and he definitely wasn't without sin and I for sure think he ought to have been guilty and taken responsibility for having broken Clover's aura, plus letting the blame fall to the guy who was literally fecking murdered was terrible. But Qrow didn't cause Tyrian to kill Clover, and he didn't cause Robyn to start up the fight in the first place when he and Clover were both being fairly peaceable at first.)

But! The way that RWBY said 'let's drag Clover after his death, imply things about his character that we never showed to be true, and have Robyn of all people say Qrow's just better than him.' Also, if Qrow really freaking cared about Clover in the show enough to keep that pin (that by all rights should've gone to the Ace Ops,) maybe he could tell Robyn to keep Clover's name out of her thin mouth, and be actually angry that she started the whole damn fight in the fricking first place. Honestly, I didn't like Clover at first and I don't ship Fair Game, but God almighty, the frustration I've felt watching the fandom start harassing people who liked him or the people that are mad about queerbaiting... Now I do like the idea of Clover and enjoy writing for him, and it's actually because of all the haters. So congrats to the RWBY simps, they've turned me into a Clover fan.

And if Qrow ends up with Robyn, I will... Post angrily about it. Using caps lock. After I finish vomiting over having to see it.

Here's the link to fairgame-was-queerbait again, I'd recommend anyone who wants to see the tweets and the screenshots check it out, I was so glad to find their blog and be able to see all this stuff for myself. It's honestly staggering that people are denying that there was queerbaiting, and saying that fans just 'invented this ship in their heads' or have no right to be upset. BTW, nobody better try that invalidating stuff in my comments. I'll block on sight.

I Don’t Understand Buck Begins.

PSA this is a bit of rant. Not a hate-rant or anything like that, but I do express frustration and if you’re not here for that right now, please skip this. It is complicated and ended upa bit long. But if you’re up for it, I’d LOVE to know your thoughts.

I actually want to talk about this with people. I’m not here to drop a statement like a microphone and walk away. The first time I watched Buck Begins, I loved it. I still do. But as I think back on it and rewatch, there are some major issues I’m spotting:

1. Buck in his whole life has been endangering himself in order to get the attention (dare I say LOVE) of those around him. I feel like the Firefam’s (very OOC) responses to him recklessly endangering himself again only enforced these destructive habits?

2. Firefam’s OOC reaction: In literally every other episode, when Buck recklessly endangers himself the firefam immediately put the brakes on, tell Buck to treasure himself, not to be reckless, to think things through, to realize that the victim got out because of sheer good luck (as well as hair-brained thinking on Buck’s part, but some of Buck’s decision making also really endangered him, more on that later.) The fact that Bobby let Buck work that fire at all in the state of mind he was in is odd. The fact that Hen told him he was for whatever reason correct in choosing to split from the party and go on his own in his current state of mind was beyond odd. Looking back, it doesn’t feel like real moments, but rather contrivances dressed in nice words like “I don’t this often but you’re right” (NO HE’S F**KING NOT!!) so that we wouldn’t question them immediately. Was Buck correct that the other team needed anotehr man? Yeah. Was he right that it should be him? NOPE. Anyone could see that, we could see that, the Firefam could see that. but they let him go anyway. This is OOC, they’re smarter than that, and they’ve known Buck for long enough to know when he’s triggered and more likely to make poor decisions. During it, when Buck disobeys orders and Bobby is calmly just like “Yeah he does that sometimes.” I’m sorry, did someone put Xanax in Bobby’s coffee? Why on earth would he be so calm?? In a normal situation he would never be calm about that--add to it the fact that he KNEW Buck wasn’t at his most stable at the moment? He should have been shouting into his radio and hauling ass, not shrgging and smiling with pride like “Yup! It’s cool with me” like what?? Then afterward, nothing but kind words and praise. Good job risking your life like an idiot, good job risking the other guy because you were so determined to get him out asap you didn’t stop to think. That’s what you do, Buck. 

Like did they really just say that!?

The only nuance that I thought was right here, the only thing that was given emphasis that felt RIGHT, was not that Buck stays behind, not that he makes reckless decisions sometimes, not that he jumped into a fire while unstable, THE ONLY THING that should have been emphasized here, that the episode should have been based on? Is that BUCK DOESN’T GIVE UP. There’s a quality in him that we’ve seen before. one that Buck doesn’t seem to realize about himself. Athena’s moment was the only moment that looking back gives me any kind of cathartsis, because it is the only healthy reaction from the firefam that I saw (aside from them all running in after him--still love that moment.) they should’ve been gentle baout it, but nonetheless should’ve told Buck to treasure himself more, not be like “And here’s our most rekless memeber, pat on the back, kid, we love that you throw yourself into danger without thinking, in fact that’s what we love most about you!” Thinking back, I could SCREAM that that’s the message they left Buck with.

3. The victim: Let’s face it, the only reason the victim didn’t die is because the writers didn’t want him to. They made sure the tank landed somewhere non-fatal so that Buck could still get a win, even though many of his decisions thus far had been hare-brained and ill-advised, driven by a mad need to prove himself, and to never leave people behind, even if stopping and waiting and thinking might be more advisable at some points. In fact, when the victim first falls, and buck wakes up and he looks at him and I thought the victim was dead, first of all I was really sad for the victim, but I also felt like that was the right way to go. Buck’s decision making wasn’t sound, he wasn’t thinking straight, he went in anyway, by all rights the only reason the victim stayed alive after everything he went through was because the writers wanted him to stay alive which they followed with a big and in my opinion inappropriate Pat on the back Moment. The victim dying would’ve been tragic, but it would’ve driven home a lesson for buck, that hurting himself, endangering himself isn’t the answer, won’t always save the day. It would’ve taught Buck (harshly yes, but) that he needs to get his head  on straight in this job. And if he had lost teh victim and the firefam had been there for him anyway, it would’ve been a whole different scenario.

In the episode, while it was super sweet and had some incredible moments, Buck learns nothing, his relationship with the Firefam doesn’t actually change at all, and his relationship with his family doesn’t appear to have actually progressed. He’s still prioritizing them over himself (bringing the parents into therapy since well, they’re trying which is apparently enough now), he’s now been encouraged to continue the reckless streak of self-sacrificing decision making that he’s been on in the past in order to gain teh love and recognition of the poeple around him.

I wish the writers had placed focus, not on Buck being accepting, not on Buck being restless, but on Buck not giving up. We saw bits of that yeah, but it wasn’t as highlighted as Buck ebing reckless and feeling overall like he’s not enough. I wish the episode had been centered there, and they had created an entirely different scenario start-to-finish that (like in Eddie begins, where there were no contrivances, the only reckless thing he does--cutting the line--is something that there isn’t a quetsion in a single brain he WOULD do and should do) where Buck is level-headed, where he’s in some kind of scenario where only he could uniquely succeed in because he never gives up. This episode had bits of it here and there, but ultimately what was running teh day was buck vulnerabilities, not his strengths. Insead of pointing out where Buck shines (like the other Begins episodes), they really only further highlighted what his weaknesses are and then proceeded to have the people around him encourage those weaknesses. Like, what?!

I also think this was the moment to solidify the firefam as his family. Instead, we see Buck retreating back toward a very unhealthy family situation and the firefam remains where they always are. What they did for buck in this episode was something incredible, but it’s also something they would do for any member of the firefam. What I wanted was for the firefam to show up for Buck in a way that he uniquely needs. How, I don’t know--perhaps taking a jab at his loneliness, surprising him with a dinner party at the loft, whatever. Something that told Buck “we see your pain, we see how tough your parents are, how you and Maddie need family who will show up and treasure you no matter what (WHICH BTW INCLUDES YELING AT YOU WHEN YOU’VE BEEN AN IDIOT AND TELLING YOU TO PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF CRAP DON’T ENDANGER YOURSELF LIKE THAT AGAIN, PLEASE VALUE YOURSELF), that’s what Buck needed. An episode that would help him learn to treasure himself, believe in himself more, love the fact that he never gives up about himself, learn that dangerous stunts and running into things without thinking because he bleives that’s what gets him love is incorrect and unecessary. We didn’t get any of that. The episode was also trying to kill two birds with one stone, which brings me to my last point:

4. Framing Buck Begins around the sibling’s relationship, while GORGEOUS (seriously LOVED these moments they did and the casting was amazing, and both JLH and OS played their younger selves to perfection) I wish had been placed in a completely different episode. They didn’t belong here in an episode of Buck learning about himself. And because of the amount of airtime they took up, we ended up with an episode where Buck doesn’t really learn about himself in the end. Everything remains largely external instead of internal.

All in all, I feel like we need another Buck Begins episode to right the wrongs of this one. Nothing has been solved or fixed. Buck’s relationships remain pretty much the same going in as they do leaving. He has found no peace, no resolution (except in confirmation that Maddie loves him, which is nice, but largely external) he is still fuled by the belief that reckless behavior is what wins him teh love and attention of those around him.

This frustrates me to no end. If you feel like Buck Begins did scratch every itch for you, I’d love to talk and see your perspective as well, because I hate this itchy feeling of dissatisfaction and I dearly hope I’ve missed something here.

Anyway sorry this got so long. Didn’t realize I had QUITE so many thoughts until I started writing and then shit happened. If you made it to the end, thank youa nd I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts, whether you agree or disagree.

Holy crap this episode was funny as hell until it wasn't and then we were plunged right back into the intensity. But great episode!!! I don't lb so I don't get spoilers but man I had a lot of reactions as I watched. Ngl, a lot of cursing and caps ahead but damn was this such a good episode:

“One minute before the blackout” - now we’re to 1 minute from 1 week last week

“The place where this heart’s from, it was a tragedy. But once we land, it’s gonna turn into a miracle, right?” “Yeah, I like that” -- so once we land and settle after all of this craziness, a tragedy will turn into a miracle? I like that *looking at you Eddie*

EDDIE GET OUT OF THAT CHOPPER RN, DO NOT DO THIS TO ME AFTER SEASON 4, DO NOT!!!

Bobby going in to save the heart, hmm...

Oh, thank God - Eddie, Hen, and Bobby are all safe

Dr. Salazar - we need more of her. I love her so much.

4 Days later - hmm...

Wow, they’re really bringing Harry to the forefront here, this whole kidnapping thing is going to happen isn't it?

Harry charging neighbors and Michael and David in a sort of co-parent situation - first of all, Harry you are a GENIUS and love that Michael and David with Harry are being focused on in this episode, ahem, is there possibly a reason...?

Lou survived!!!! THANK GOD

Nearly 5 days Lou was in hospital

5 day head start for Hudson - is there something with 1, 3, 4 and now 5? I'm keeping track here, Tim

Buck is the power czar LOL - omg I love this man so much

Ravi!!! We need MORE Ravi!!! but where is Albert???

CHIMNEY!!!!! OMG I LOVE YOU - "Give me a charger or Uncle Buck will never see his niece again" - "Give him a charger" - "Well played" - "Let this be a lesson, never give that man a clipboard" - "Excuse me for being efficient" - "That’s one word for what you are" - okay #1 I will forever be in love with Chimney, probably one of my top favorite characters on this show & #2 LOVE this whole brothers interaction, Albert may not be there but Buck and Chim are still going with the whole older-brother-is-exasperated-with-the-younger-brother's-shit vibe

Oh God, here comes more cringe, yay... not so much

Eddie kisses Ana on the cheek AGAIN (Eddie, can you hear me? This is your subconscious speaking, when are you going to end this, my man?)

Ana says going to visit was Christopher’s idea since he missed Eddie and thought he was hungry - muy interesante

Buck rushing over to greet Christopher and hugging him tight is a moment I live for - outside of the whole Buck and Eddie story, I LOVE this relationship with all of my heart, I am so glad Christopher has Buck, he really is his second dad (with or without Eddie being involved)

Eddie not introducing Ana to Ravi (nor Buck saying hi) - Buck’s expression - “You must be Eddie’s wife” Christopher: “Not yet” I FUCKING LOVE THIS KID, OKAY!!!! Buck’s smile, he loves Christopher, too - love how Ana and Eddie don't say anything to dispel or clarify this

SAME FUCKING TRIGGER AND THIS TIME BUCK SEES IT!!!! OMG (Eddie, this is your subconscious again, you need to listen! The universe and I are trying to tell you something, please before any more shit hits the fan like me having to watch more uncomfortable interactions between you and your placeholder friend!)

Eddie sending Ana and Christopher on a tour with Ravi IN THE DARK at his work place so he can put SALADS AWAY

Buck’s expressions the entire time - Buck knows something's up

Ana’s expressions the entire time - she KNOWS

Thank God Bobby wasn’t around - hear me out, I have a reason for this that I am still working on in this long ass meta

Buck makes sure to not make eye contact with Ana (except quickly when Ravi is waiting to be introduced), even when Ana laughs at his “Constantly”

Eddie being a probie when Shannon came back in season 2 (and Eddie pulled her into the locker room to talk) & Ana being left to tour the station house with Ravi aka Probie - hello parallels & contrasts, my old friend

“I don’t want these things to wilt” - interesting choice of wording there, Eddie (newsflash, it's already wilting, Eddie)

I almost feel a little bad for Ana here because she did do something nice and she gets the brushoff and some discomfort/embarrassment in return (I mean the woman brought three salads in the middle of a blackout that she most likely made herself, come on - I'm sure some people think salads are easy to make but to those of us in the inexperienced/uninitiated cooks' club, it's not that simple)

Lila dead - hmm...are we surprised? (Hudson didn't give a fig about her and what's sad is Lou would have saved her)

“I think she was smitten like those other fools. I think she saw him being led away in cuffs and she intervened on his behalf” - interesting line there, Athena...

I need more scenes with Athena and Elaine - I know Elaine is the captain and Athena is on her own with no partner but I gotta say I am enjoying this

Athena! Why are you not warning the survivors!!! I mean I get it but still!!!

OMG “He takes Christopher all the time, he’s got the place memorized” - BUCK LISTENED TO EDDIE IN 3x03 - OMG!!!

Oh Buck my poor baby, he knows what they’re walking into - I LOVE Hen’s line of “Just smile, Buck” and then Eddie and Chim both smile wide at him - OMG I AM LIVING FOR THESE SCENES WITH THE 118

“Welcome to the Jungle” - nice touch 911

OMG Buck you are cracking me up - no animals are getting past him

1 hawk or eagle or raptor maybe? I’m not good with bird species okay!!!

3 emus again

1 bird I have no idea what kind (wondering if that’s what we saw the back of last episode near the emus)

Giraffe again

3 wolves

3 camels

Elephant

“The animal makes a move, control it” - YOU GOT THIS BUCK (yes we are finally getting that scene we saw filmed!!!)

Buck’s expression when the camel runs by is KILLING ME 'yeah, that's right Camel, back up, back up, you don't want any of this, yeah that's right'

Stuffed animals in the souvenir store, interesting

2 for $5 sign - even more interesting

1 alpaca

I guess I kind of wonder why Hen didn’t become a vet at one point in her life? Like I’m glad she’s a first responder and about to be a doctor but damn she knows so much about animals, she’s like the 118’s resident animal expert, that’s my girl

“We were gonna get one” - um...what? Hen...

“I wouldn’t” LOL oh Bobby you slay me

Is it just me or do we hear ET almost type music in the background as Hen lays chips down for the alpaca? Bobby mentioning the Reese’s Pieces, the flashlight shining on the Alpaca when it steps into view...are we getting an ET reference?

“It’s calling its friend!” *another Alpaca appears through coats “Clever girl” - a Jurassic Park reference - It’s a fucking Steven Spielberg reference, holy shit!!!!

Okay so that scene was Eddie looking over at Bobby, got it, near the fire trucks

Oh Buck I love you so much “So you ran from an Alpaca?” “Two Alpacas and no one was running” - both Buck’s and Eddie’s faces and then laughter are freaking hilarious

Chimney: “After careful consideration, I have decided not to endorse this park” - OMG I have not stopped laughing for like five minutes straight, can you imagine a Jurassic Park AU for this team? - shot of T-rex above Ripley’s Believe It Or Not (nice one, 911)

Weird looking bird that I've never seen before and 2 emus and 2 vulture, 1 hawk/raptor bird, 1 rhino

May is awesome!!! And so are those neighbors!!!!

Eddie in the tank top!!! Buck with a clipboard!!!

“Hey are you sleeping or just pretending?” Buck is taking no prisoners today

Buck is trying to make sure he’s not having any symptoms, omg, seriously how do you not love this guy???? Eddie you better make an honest man out of him soon, I'm not sure how much longer I can take this

“You don’t give up, do you?” Oh Eddie you did not just say that, to Buck of all people, come on man (hello season 3 Eddie, my old friend)

Get him, Buck! Get him!

“Since when do you panic?” “That’s what I said, I don’t panic” Buck once again out there proving that he knows Eddie better than anyone else

Oh wow!!! Eddie came right out and said it “If I’m being honest with myself I think it was Ana”

And there it is folks “She’s been a constant through all of this, staying with Christopher”

“Somehow we became a ready made family and I don’t know if I’m ready for that” - wow, this is an excellent scene, he’s totally letting that wall down to talk candidly with Buck, nice - and him being stripped down to a tank top for this scene just reiterates that fact, he's baring some things

“I think I’m gonna stick it out. Ana’s the first woman I’ve wanted to spend this much time with since Shannon” - oh Eddie, you really need to shit or get off the pot my friend, this isn’t good for you, Christopher or Ana - how can you sentence all three of you to this? come on

“My kid loves her” but YOU DON'T - okay my heart is breaking, Eddie is making the same goddamn mistake all over again just like we predicted - Eddie please, what did Carla just say to you three episodes ago? Where the hell is Carla btw????

“Stick it out? That’s not the way you talk about someone you’re in love with” “That enough?” - thank you Buck, seriously THANK YOU

Okay my heart just broke again but for Buck this time “Eddie, I have been Ana” - aww =( I love my chaotic firefighter son with all of my heart

And of course Denial!Eddie aka repressed!Eddie are back, sigh - 5x03 has to be where it all comes to a head, it has to be, now even Buck is forcing him to face what he's trying so hard not to - word of advice Eddie, my repressed firefighter son, you can try to deny it mentally/emotionally all you want but it will come out one way or another, just like it's coming out in panic attack symptoms and anxiety - you have to end this, sweetie

And I think it’s very interesting that Eddie looks right at Buck during “If I’m being honest with myself” *looks away then right back at Buck* “I think it was Ana”, “staying with Christopher”, then right after “I don’t know if I’m ready for that”, “I think I’m gonna stick it out”, “Ana’s the first woman I’ve wanted to spend this much time with since Shannon” “My kid loves her”

OMG Eddie’s expression when Buck says “I know what it’s like to be in love with someone who’s not all the way in and deep down you know it and it hurts. It hurts worse than the truth” — RYAN WHERE IS YOUR GODDAMN EMMY??? If anyone ever doubted that Eddie was in love with Buck, there’s the freaking proof written all over Eddie’s face at Buck’s line!!! It’s not something he thinks he can have and it hurts

Okay seriously, Eddie saying “Ana’s the first woman I’ve wanted to spend this much time with Shannon” — VERY PURPOSEFUL MENTION OF A WOMAN HE’S WANTED TO SPEND TIME WITH, EDDIE PLEASE, CAN YOU HEAR ME!!!!

Then they go right to Chim calling Maddie, uh huh, I see you 911

I really love Hen’s full support of Maddie btw & I love how Chim is able to talk to Hen about it all

Oh no!!! Maddie please don’t fall asleep!!!

Oh thank God!!!! It’s going to be okay, Maddie, you got her, it’s going to be okay - I seriously want to give my girl a hug and tell her it's going to be okay

Omg Jee-Yun is so cute!!!

Day 4 or day 5 hmmm - I'm still keeping track, Tim

“Why is it every time the world ends, it ends some more?” “It just keeps us on our toes” “More like knocks us on our asses” - Universe is that you?

Awww Bobby just called Athena “baby” <3 I'm not crying, you're crying

YES more Athena and Elaine

Lou is awake!!!!

Awww Lou =( I may or may not be ugly crying rn

I cannot tell you how relieved I am that Lou is alive

Oh God!!!! Athena get the cops there now!!!!

Yeah you should have let Harry charge them Michael lol, of course they were there to just use the generator power (though I love and appreciate the contrast they gave us in the neighbors who helped the boy with the ventilator so we know not all people take advantage)

OH NO GET AWAY FROM HARRY YOU BASTARD!!!!

On a side note, it’s nice to see more Michael and David but at what cost, Tim? Can we please get more of them and especially David in a more lighthearted episode for crying out loud? Is that too much to ask???

Go Bobby!!!!

Good for you, Athena!!!

Omg this is practically Athena’s nightmare come to life, shit

Omg Hudson unplugged the goddamn generator, THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!

HARRY!!!!!!

I’M SORRY BUT ARE YOU TELLING ME THERE’S NO BOLO WITH A PICTURE ON THIS GUY?!!? - oh right, no power, but STILL

Okay that was super intense, I really hope Athena is the one to take Hudson down, just like Bobby said

I have a few more rewatches to do before breaking things down but damn, I think I need a drink after that one.