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woncon · 9 months

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➳ bunnytalk

➶ bunny!jungkook x owner gn!reader ｡˚ °

-ˏ` ✎﹏ your hybrid is acting strange lately. When you're not enough to help, you call Seokjin over to check on Jungkook. The diagnosis is shocking.

➴ genre: hybrid au, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, vet!seokjin, shy!jk

: ̗̀➛ warnings: jk is a bunny hybrid, reader is anxious bc jk's sadness

⌨ :: 2.4K words ♡ ︵ . .

⁀➷ thanks to @wonsheep for helping me fix my grammar mistakes and for giving me advice how to convert a whole story into another language precisely °♡̷•.

➳ bts masterlist | main masterlist

You ran through the aisles of the store as if you were being chased. And you really were, but the thing giving you chase had already caught up: the gray anxiety was perched on your shoulders, pressing along your joints like a sloppy masseur.

Salad. No need for a doctor, just a salad.

This was your mantra, with which you tried to control the despair, to slow down the panic that insinuated into your blood. With trembling fingers, you shoved the right products into your basket, and then you were already scrambling for the next ingredient.

Carrot, lettuce, cucumber, tomato, purple cabbage, corn - as Jungkook likes it. As soon as you had everything, you hurried to the cash register. The marble screeched under your feet as you suddenly stopped to avoid bumping into the person in front of you in the line. The man turned to you in disdain, but that was the least of your concerns right then. You had to make the salad: that was the most important thing. The fact that you were dead tired, that you did not plan on coming to the store, what you wanted to do half an hour ago, or what the guy thinks is completely negligible.

The only person standing before you in line was that guy, and he didn't buy anything other than some yogurt, bread and beer, still, you felt that the slowing factors took too long. For example, the cashier boy who scanned the products you were about to buy with a broad half-smile.

"Light dinner?"

"Yeah. For my hybrid."

Before the boy could speak - forcing his phone number into your hand, asking for a date or keeping you there with questions or more words - you stuffed the last carrot into your bag, scattering the money in front of the other.

"Bye!"

You dashed out of the store into the early evening cool, and ran home.

You hoped something had changed, but no. Jungkook was still curled up on the sofa, unmoving. Taking one look at him was enough to increase your concerns. You threw yourself into the kitchen. The vegetables were scattered on the counter, the tools clattered from the drawer to them, and the water was gurgling noisly from the tap. Your hair and clothes stuck to your sweaty skin. Fear gripped your heart like a baby holding onto its mother.

No need for a doctor. I can solve it myself.

Although you worked hard, and almost cutting your skin in your rush, the encouraging thought meant less and less, your hope faded into inconceivability with the passing of time.

"Kook? What's wrong?" The boy could always turn to you with his problems, and this turned out to be valid the other way around as well. Jungkook's wise insight and cheerful attitude have helped you a lot since you started living together. In addition to the owner-hybrid relationship, you were also roommates and friends.

When you first saw Jungkook on the couch, you thought he was sleeping. In the beginning of you two living together, the boy often slept with his eyes open, closing them only after full trust had been established. By the way, this wouldn't have been the first time that he fell asleep on the couch. But this was different. You wanted to tuck him in, and the boy's gaze focused on you, then he stared ahead again, uninterested. He also blinked.

He wasn't asleep at all.

Jungkook didn't answer. You weren't freaked out yet. Jungkook had instinctive actions and behaviors, but he was unable to verbalize them. He once summed it up by saying that in such cases the rabbit is the master, who only communicates through action.

"If you can't talk about it, just nod or shake your head." You waited half a minute. "Did I hurt you with something?"

You were about to caress his arm, but Jungkook pushed you away before you could touch him. Then you understood, something really must have happened. Not only was the boy not in the mood, he didn't want any of your company either. This has never happened before. In addition, the warning signs were lining up: him cowering, ears flattened, rejecting your approach.

The boy's rabbit self emphasized his condition. You heard somewhere - in a documentary, from a doctor friend, or maybe from one of your exes, who knows - that rabbits can be sick and depressed if they show these symptoms and don't eat.

So you, as soon as you realized, you jumped up, pulled your coat back on as you had just taken it off, and whirled through the streets to make Jungkook's favorite salad. Because if he eats, you won't have to be afraid, you would be enough to help.

The meal was ready in twenty minutes. Sighing, you headed into the living room to regulate your breathing. You couldn't know if you were overreacting or if such intense distress was justified. You were sure of one thing: how important Jungkook is to you, along with his physical and mental health.

"Kook?" You knelt in front of the couch again, this time balancing the dish you prepared. The hybrid didn't even turn to look at you now. You felt your heart cramp up. "Please." You put your elbow on the edge of the couch, pushing the plate closer to him. "Eat up."

If something didn't happen then, you would have cried. But luckily, Jungkook reacted: his nose moved, crinkling sweetly. He smelled the salad. Then his eyes searched for the source of the scent, but his hands still didn't reach for it. You already considered this a big step forward, you were a little relieved: when you put the first bite in Jungkook's mouth, you felt better. Jungkook started chewing. The sounds of his munching was music to your ears.

You didn't speak, but the more the boy ate, the more lively he became. His black ears slowly rose, and he pushed himself up into a sitting position too. Jungkook put the last lettuce leaf and piece of carrot in his mouth with his own hand. You sat next to him and watched him happily. You didn't dare to touch him yet.

After finishing the meal and placing the bowl next to the couch, the hybrid crouched down next to you uncertainly, seemingly trying to say something, but in the end he just nudged your upper arm with his nose, pushed it, then ducked under, still poking the body part. Jungkook let you know in rabbit language that he needed care and caress. You smiled, running your fingers through the boy's hair, fluffy ears nuzzling your neck as Jungkook snuggled into your shoulders, his muscular arms wrapped around your waist, cuddling close. You caressed his face, his shoulders, all along his back. The bunny grinded his teeth in satisfaction.

Everything was resolved, order was restored, you thought.

You were wrong.

Whatever was weighing down on Jungkook's soul, the problem didn't go away, the salad was merely a distraction for him. You were confronted with this the next morning, as the boy curled up in a lethargic state on the edge of the bed. Somehow you knew that salad wasn't going to help anymore here. The boy's entire body tensed up as if he was an angry stone statue.

There was no question that you wouldn't go to work. You rang your boss in your pajamas to tell him you were taking the day off. The latter reacted with complete understanding. Immediately after the end of the conversation, you called your doctor friend to come over.

"Y/N, you know it takes two for a hybrid. A doctor specializing in humans and a veterinarian. I'm only the latter. Namjoon is currently operating, so you need to wait."

"You will be enough. I can't bring Kook in. He doesn't move, doesn't speak. I think he has more rabbit-like problems."

"Okay, I'll be there in twenty to twenty-five minutes. Stay with him until then."

"I'm not going anywhere."

You did as you said. You carelessly threw your phone on the couch and retreated to the bedroom, laying down next to Jungkook. You scanned his stiff back muscles, and now you were completely devastated because you didn't know how to help. You wanted to give him at least a comforting hug to let him know you were there for him, but your approach was rebuffed with a grunt. Jungkook didn't want any of your company again.

Seokjin arrived as he promised, but for you, time was slowed down by your own grinding agony and terrifying visions. Hearing the knocking, however, time jolted back a little into its place. You jumped up and ran to the door. The man came in a doctor's coat, carrying a bag.

"Come." You grabbed Seokjin's hand, who would've protested and said something about his shoes. "It doesn't matter, just come."

You basically dragged him into the bedroom. Like a melancholic painting, there Jungkook was: in rolled up blankets, just staring at the wall. No happy colors, just gray, black and sad blue.

"Please, help him!" You dropped onto the bed, whispering your plea to your guest, who nodded and approached the patient.

"Hi, Jungkook. I'm going to run some routine tests on you, okay?"

"In this current condition, he doesn't like to be touched." You warned Seokjin.

"Don't worry, I won't hurt you." He put his hand on Jungkook's shoulder. The boy didn't react, just tolerated it.

Seokjin then checked his breathing, body temperature, and heart rate.

"That would be it, rest easy!" Seokjin headed outside and motioned for you to follow him with a jerk of his head. You obeyed. The man closed the door and settled down on the living room sofa. You sat down next to him, wringing your hands.

"What's up with him?"

"He's warm, but no fever. His heart rate is high, but that could also be from stress. I don't see any signs of sickness, but something really freaked him out. How long has he been like this?"

"I noticed yesterday when I came home that Jungkook was lying on the sofa and not moving. It's possible that he had been sitting like that for a long time. I made him a salad, then he got up and ate, but this morning he was curled up again."

"Didn't he get some sort of shock? Wasn't he acting strange before?"

You were about to say no when you remembered the past week and the incident the morning before.

"He pokes me a lot with his chin, bites me and licks my skin. Sometimes he even nips me. And after he got up yesterday, he ran around me like five times. In the meantime, he made a strange oinking sound."

You still remembered the boy's sparkling eyes when he stopped, his raised ears, his sniffing nose. His body stiffened with excitement. You didn't know how to react, so you just smiled and went to make your coffee.

And Seokjin started laughing. You stared at him in disbelief. The man snorted, still chuckling. You were about to punch him on the shoulder, but Seokjin - to his luck - spoke up.

"He loves you very much."

You knew that, you loved him too. But the way Seokjin emphasised his words somehow suggested something else.

"What do you mean?"

"You are his human owner. You act like one most of the time. To Jungkook, however, you are no longer just an owner. Biting and licking in rabbit language means a love confession. He also marked you with the scent glands under his chin as his property. And running means clear courtship. Since you didn't reciprocate that, he has to process that you rejected him, and it's hard when you're always around, wanting to touch him."

You had a revelation.

"I didn't know. If I had known - How can I undo it?"

"Why? You love him in the romantic sense?"

That was a pretty straightfoward question, but you knew the answer very well.

"Damn it! Yes! I'm head over heels for him. And yes, I do want to be with him. So how do I change my no to a yes?" All this flooded out of you: you were worried and nervous, you couldn't help it. You were at your wits end because of your own helplessness.

"Jungkook is not acting like a human right now. First, you have to make yourself understood by the rabbit living inside, only then you can tell the person your feelings. You have to become a rabbit and reciprocate the gestures with which he expressed himself to you."

Seokjin gave you instructions, then left. You were very grateful, but you couldn't express it properly yet, first you had to express something else to someone else.

You returned to the bedroom to confess to Jungkook with bunny talk. You laid down next to him again, this time taking care not to touch him with your hands, as you weren't needed as an owner or as a human. You swallowed nervously, then ventured closer to Jungkook's nape.

You bit him gently. Almost immediately after that, both of Jungkook's ears perked up, his body was tense in a different way: he was listening intently. Feeling thousands of butterflies with wings of hope in your body, you ventured further, licking along his artery. After this action, you moved away, blushing.

Jungkook sat up, facing you. His gaze was clear, peaceful, maybe a little disappointed, but mostly knowledge was visible in it.

"I love you."

"I know. Like a friend. I understand now."

"No." You scrambled to your feet, pulling him with you. You took some measurements to fit between Jungkook and the bed, moving him to the position you wanted to.

Then you ran around him several times, trying to imitate the strange sound that Jungkook also made, the kind of cooing.

When you stopped, your heart was pounding like a speeding train... Or like a rabbit hybrid who had just confessed their love.

"I love you," you whispered weakly. "I love you in this sense."

A huge grin appeared on Jungkook's face as he suddenly took you in his arms, spinning you around in the room and then finally threw himself along with you onto the bed.

In his happiness, he also did something that you as his owner and as a human immediately understood: he kissed you. Tenderly, softly, truly in love, and at the same time he held your face in the palm of his hand. As he leaned away, he covered his flushed face with his fluffy ears. He laughed.

"Kook..."

You were beautiful with a pleading blush. And your heart belonged to Jungkook.

So he kissed you again.

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intriq · 7 months

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Daffodil

Part of my Hanahaki series

Character: Jason Todd

Theme: Angst

Daffodil: regard, unequalled love

‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎┏━•❃°•°❀°•°❃•━┓

You've known Jason for awhile. You've been friends for a few years at this point.

You've seen him change and grow. Grieved him when he died, welcomed him back when he returned. Supported him when he needed it, because truthfully? He did need it. Even if he was a stubborn asshole about it.

But you also loved him throughout those years. Through all those changes.

You loved him when he died, loved him when you visited his headstone, and you loved him even when he came back. You just always did.

But you also knew he never loved you back. He was never quite capable of seeing of just how head over heels you were for him, even though his family could. To him, you were always just his "best friend".

You thought you could be happy like that, you truly did. You thought you could be content loving him from the sidelines, even if it was suffocating knowing he would never love you back. You thought you'd be okay.

Until you coughed up those flower petals.

You remember the exact day you first discovered you had Hanahaki Disease, too.

It'd been a cloudless night, the first one in a few days. Maybe weeks. Either way, for once Gotham was not shrouded by storm clouds. It was at most, calm. Peaceful. But perhaps that in of itself should have been an omen.

Because Gotham was never peaceful.

You don't remember exactly what was said that night, but you just remember how you'd started coughing the moment Jason was distracted. Had you two been on a stakeout that night? You were almost sure that you were.

You remember so vividly clutching those flower petals in your hands, staring at them before crushing them in your palm, letting them drift in the wind when Jason asks you if you were alright.

And now here you were, months later. Over time Jason would give you suspicious looks when you'd tried to hide your coughing fits, would always double check if you were really okay. But you always said you were.

Until today.

You and Jason are doing the last of your stakeout mission, gathering the last tiniest bits of intel to feed to the others so that way they could take out this newly fledged gang from right under their nose. It's cold, but that's fine. Gotham is always cold, especially in the autumn months.

"How much longer are we supposed to be out here for?"

You pause to think for a minute as your eyes scan the outside of the warehouse the gang had turned into their main base of operations. Taking in every detail, hoping it’d help piece together some of their behavior.

“Not that much longe—“ Your words are cut off by that feeling in your throat, hand flying up reflexively as you scramble to remove your mask just in time to violently begin coughing into the palm of your hand.

You hunch into yourself as you cough, your free hand clutching your mask desperately so you could put it back on at a moments notice. Next to you, Jason is concerned. Behind the red helmet he wears his face is a mixture of concern.

It takes awhile for you to stop coughing. The raw creeping pain that fills your throat and makes your lungs burn is something you’ve grown used to.

You pull your hand away when you feel that same familiar feeling of blood in your hands, wet and hot as it pairs with your spit and the flowers. You try to hide it from Jason, you really do. You try to clench your fist and let it drop to your side.

But Jason is faster. He’s got your hand snagged by the wrist the moment it drops. And he pries your hand open while he remains quiet. And when he sees the flowers and blood in your hands he knows he should’ve done so sooner.

You’d been hiding behind the coughing fits for awhile. Pulling excuses out of the air for each one. Making up reasons for your dwindling strength and stamina, for how your skin got progressively more sickly and pale.

Excuses each and every time that Jason now regrets not looking deeper into.

“Fucking Hanahaki Disease? Seriously?” Jason doesn’t hesitate to say your name in that same tone. He’s angry, but he’s worried. An angry kind of concerned and worried, because for months you’ve probably been suffering alone. And to him, he doesn’t want his best friend to suffer alone. He’s had to do that already, he knows it’s shitty.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Who is it?”

“It’s not important, Red. Doesn’t matter—“

Jason stops you, the grip on your wrist tightening for a moment as he seems to be trying at least a little bit to regulate his emotions.

“Screw that. It’s Jason your talking to right now, not Red Hood.”

“Jason—“

“No! It does fucking matter, okay? Your.. Fuck, you’re my friend, okay? I care about what’s happening to you.”

Your heart aches at the word friend, makes the suffocating feeling in your throat grow tighter. Friend. Of course. That was all you’d ever be to him.

“It’s just a little one sided love, Jason.”

“Little? You call coughing up blood and flowers little? Your dying!”

Your face scrunches up as you begin sputtering again, coughing as more specks of blood fly past your lips.

“If it’s one sided, you need to get the surgery. It’s the only option.”

Immediately your shaking your head, trying to refuse, but Jason’s already picking you up. He’s already died once, brought back by chance because of the Lazarus Pit. He’s not gonna have you die, because you matter to him.

He ignores your protesting pleas as you eventually fall unconscious from the lack of air you are able to get into your lungs because of the flowers growing there.

And Jason brings you to Gotham General.

But when you awaken from that lifesaving surgery, preventing you from dying on the operating table as you were seconds from death, Jason noticed your different with him.

He can see just how different you look at him. You aren’t the same you that he remembers growing up with. The look in your eyes is different, as is your smile.

You aren’t quite as warm, not quite that same ball of sunshine with him as you used to be. At first he thinks it’s because your mad at him for bringing you to the hospital against your wishes, but..

Even when months pass and you still don’t get that same energy you used to back is when he understands. It hits him when your suddenly looking at someone else the way you used to look at him and it hits him hard, like a smack to the face.

Oh. He thinks. He was the one you loved.

And that regret hits Jason hard, especially when he coughs up flower petals of his own.

‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎┗━•❃°•°❀°•°❃•━┛

#gender neutral reader #oneshot #gn reader #angst #dc universe #jason todd #jason todd x you #jason todd imagine #jason todd x reader #jason todd fanfiction #jason todd x gn!reader #jason todd angst #dc universe angst #angst with no comfort #angst with no happy ending #hanahaki #hanahaki disease #hanahaki disease au #oneshot series

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athenaistired · 3 months

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𝐃𝐈𝐋𝐔𝐂❞

— 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐭.𝟒 //

ᴘʟᴏᴛ: ɪᴛ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴇᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ᴏɴᴄᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀʟʟ.

art credit & word count: 4747

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ (ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴꜱ ꜱᴘᴏɪʟᴇʀꜱ): ᴍᴀᴊᴏʀ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ, ᴍᴜʀᴅᴇʀ ᴀᴛᴛᴇᴍᴘᴛ, ᴀʙᴜꜱɪᴠᴇ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱʜɪᴘꜱ, ᴛᴏxɪᴄ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱʜɪᴘꜱ, ᴜɴʜᴇᴀʟᴛʜʏ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱʜɪᴘꜱ, ɢᴜɴꜱ, ᴠɪᴏʟᴇɴᴄᴇ, ᴅᴜᴇʟɪɴɢ, ʙʟᴀᴄᴋᴍᴀɪʟ

— 𝑴𝒀 𝑳𝑼𝑺𝑻𝑭𝑼𝑳 𝑯𝑼𝑺𝑩𝑨𝑵𝑫 !4!

It has been a month since Donna had miscarried the baby. The tension in the house was over the roof, but what irritated Diluc further is that you always seemed to be in great spirits.

Their dark circles, weight loss, depressive states — none of that phased you. In fact, there was one time when the redheaded man was getting ready to collect some flowers in the Whispering Woods, and you watched him leave the house whilst standing in the hallway and waving him a good-bye with that shit-eating smirk that never left your face.

There was something evil in your eyes ever since he came back. You were not the same person that he knew once — you felt like a demon. A witch.

Every time he left somewhere, he was terrified that you would do something to Donna. Your actions felt like a slow build-up to a gradual event, and he couldn’t help but worry himself into sickness. Diluc always kept any form of a weapon on himself, and even his lover started sleeping with a knife under her pillow just in case you’ll come back to haunt her once more.

Planning your murder was not an easy task. There were multiple things that they had found in their way.

First, it was your absolute authority over the house and Mondstat. The attack couldn’t happen anywhere where you could have a potential escape route or a protector. You had to either be caught by a surprise, or be forced into attacking first to initiate the whole ordeal.

Second, your servant Marie. She wasn’t always visible, but her spirit was everywhere where you went. Diluc the other day had also caught a sight of a Hydro Vision embedded at the back of the maid’s long black skirt. He wasn’t sure if she specialized in the healing ability or fighting, but as the time went on he did realize one thing for certain — Marie wasn’t a mere servant, she was your personal bodyguard. Knowing you, you wouldn’t have someone responsible for your safety without proper insurance.

Third, your abilities. Even after all these weeks of living under the same roof as you, there was still not much known about you. He had attempted to investigate and find out if there were any potential trump cards that they still weren’t aware of, but he came up to nothing. In fact, the more he dug, the more their murder attempt was feeling less and less possible.

“Donna, there’s only one way that this can be done.” The redheaded man whispered, and his words made the woman tremble and grow pale.

“Absolutely not.” She instantly replied, but instead of a living gaze that she grew to love — eyes as cold as ice stared back at her. Her lover was fed up with everything. He just wanted it all to be over.

“I am giving you a month. If you don’t come up with a new idea — I will get this done the way I see fit.” He warned her, absolutely refusing to back down on his decision.

He couldn’t let you win.

He. Couldn’t. Let. You. Win.

Never.

He would rather die.

“But Diluc—“ Donna begged from the bottom of her heart, but her plea was silenced once the man rose a palm before her face, tactically telling her to shut up. Brunette’s heart ached. She felt heavy, as if she was about to crash through the ground and fall down straight into hell itself.

She was losing Diluc.

To you.

There was a knock on the door, and soon no other but Marie had walked through the door. Just a few weeks ago, she would ask for permission before entering. However, the more your terror and power grew, the less Donna and Diluc were respected or cared for by the servants of the house. They all admired you on another level, and saw the two “guests” as nothing more than nuisances.

“Master Y/N is expecting both of you for breakfast.” The maid proclaimed after a small bow of her head. Well, she might have had no respect for their privacy, but she sure was always a well-mannered woman.

“Tell that witch to stop playing fucking house already.” Diluc snarled back like an angered animal. His fists were already clenched just at the thought of you. Marie lightly frowned at the harshness of the words, but didn’t let it show.

“For today’s breakfast we have prepared a freshly made croissant bake topped with cinnamon custard and wild berries.” The maid continued on as if the other two were not even in the room, “You’re expected to be downstairs in 5 minutes, so that the food does not get cold. Do not make Master Y/N wait for you.”

And just as Diluc was about to say further insults into her back, the maid had left the room.

“Good morning, you two.” You said the moment the parasites had entered the dining room. You watched Marie pour you another cup of tea. Today it was buckwheat tea with some honey as a sweetener, your personal favorite. The maid’s graceful hands clothed with black velvet gloves carefully moved the ceramic teapot and gently placed it back down. It didn’t even make a sound against the wood of the table once it was put down, “I pray that you had a good night’s sleep.”

“Are you having fun doing all of this?” Diluc snarled at you, and you rose a curious brow. Marie’s expression grew darker, but you put your hand up to stop her.

“Let him speak.” You said to your maid, and although she hesitated, she straightened up her back once again and put her hands behind her back.

“Diluc, stop.” Donna tugged at her lover’s sleeve, but the man instantly pulled away from her.

You watched in amusement as his resentment towards you was now pouring out and poisoning everything around that he loved. A woman that he treasured, carried around in his arms, and claimed to marry in the future — was now humiliated and ridiculed by no other but himself.

“No, Donna, let me tell this bitch exactly what I think.” Diluc said to Donna and began quickly approaching you. You didn’t even flinch, but continued to drink your tea as if nothing was happening, “Tell me, is this.. Fun?” He said almost straight in your face, “Is this.. A twisted desire of yours? Revenge? A fucking joke?!” You watched in disgust as the droplets of saliva from his mouth landed over your dishes.

You picked up a teaspoon and lightly clicked it against the plate. Marie instantly was on your opposite side picking up the dishes off the table. Both Diluc and Donna seemed confused by what was happening, but didn’t say a word.

You stood up from your chair, and stared long and deep into your husband’s eyes. You were trying to find at least small bits of evidence that the man you once loved was still there. However, as you searched — you couldn’t find even the smallest bits. You wondered, what would the Diluc from the past think about this? How would he react to what had happened between both of you? Would he allow himself to live knowing the shame he had brought upon his own family name?

No, that Diluc would choose death over being such a disgusting creature that was in front of you.

“You are just a dead man, fuming with rage and grief. There’s a deep hole in your heart that nothing can fill, and this malice that’s spilling out of you will never end unless you’ll rot away six feet under. You never got over your father’s death, and you make it everyone else’s problem. Well, you know what, Diluc? You’re not the only one who lost something important that day you left.” You could see his vision glowing, as if it wanted to spit fire at you right there and then, “Grow the fuck up already.” You said in a cold tone that made the whole room fall silent. Diluc blinked once, twice, and took a step back. Satisfied, you turned around to where Marie stood, “I will have my breakfast in my office.”

“Of course, Master Y/N.” The maid bowed and then held up the door open for you to leave.

“Ah, and one more thing.” You turned around, but this time you faced the brunette woman rather than the hot-headed idiot, “Donna, darling, you’re only 19 years old. Don’t waste away your years on this disappointment of a man like I did. He’ll turn on you the same way he did on me, then will cheat on you with a younger woman or man, and you’ll be left alone to pick up his shit after him.” You sighed, “I wasn’t always the way I am today. I know that, that feeling that’s been growing in me back then, is now growing in you. Listen to your gut, and make the right decision.” And with that, you finally left the room leaving both of them in a stupor.

“Oh, for fucks sake!” Diluc roared like an animal and smashed his fist against the wall. Donna stood behind him, slightly hesitant to move. Ever since she listened to your speech, she couldn’t seem to get her head out of clouded thoughts. You laid the seeds of your plans — to grow them apart as much as you could.

Rightfully so.

“Please, just.. Calm down..”

And it was working.

“Calm down? Calm down?! CALM DOWN?!” The man pulled at his own hair. He really did seem to be slowly losing his mind, “Are you fucking serious with me right now? They are humiliating me!” He let out a small laugh of disbelief, but Donna was dead serious.

“Why don’t you go on a walk? Cool down. Maybe let out some steam fighting Hilichurls. Go do something else except just.. Being here.” She breathed out a suffocated breath. It felt like she had been holding in these words ever since yesterday — and now she was finally able to let them out, “They’re getting into your head, Diluc.”

“They’re getting into MY head? Donna, you’re not making any sense here.” However, the man refused to understand the message behind her words, “Just a few weeks ago you came to me crying your fucking eyes out because you thought that Y/N caused you to have a miscarriage, and now what? You’re telling me to.. Let go? To.. Calm down?! TO. COOL. FUCKING. DOWN?” His voice was increasing in loudness with each word one by one, and Donna could barely hold herself from wincing away.

When had he become this?

Was he always like this?

What was happening to him?

Where did her Diluc go?

“Yes.” She nodded, “I am.”

The man stared at her for one second, two, three.. Time seemed to slow down while he studied her expression as if she was an animal at the zoo. They weren’t talking, but none dared to break the eye contact. One was trying to dominate the other in the disagreement by using pure intimidation. Donna wasn’t sure how successful her attempt was, but suddenly, her lover took quick steps right towards her and roughly grabbed her by the chin.

The brunette froze in place; feeling like a helpless bunny before a hungry wolf. He squeezed her flesh tight to the point that it burned. Her hiss of pain didn’t stop him, but only seemed to make the grip stronger. She would be shocked if it wouldn’t bruise later.

“Wipe that look off your fucking face.”

It felt like he could see you looking at him through Donna’s eyes.

Diluc finally let go, and almost made his lover fall down to the ground. The man quickly walked past, grabbed his coat, and headed through the hallway to the right. Soon, the loud bang that shook the whole mansion had echoed through the walls. He left. Thank god, he left. Relief washed over Donna’s psyche; her heartbeat was starting to slow down and she began to take deep breaths in and out.

She had no clue what to do anymore.

You sat in front of a chess board in your office. You carefully observed the crafted pieces before you, and hummed in thought. Eventually, you picked up the Queen and King off the board and showed them up to Marie who stood by the exit door.

“I am the King.” You announced, “And you — are the Queen. You do whatever I tell you to, and you protect me at the cost of your life. However, you are more than just a Queen — you can jump through pieces, you can go multiple times in a row, and you can engulf as many in your way as I desire.” Marie smiled, but remained silent, “And I am more than just a King, however, what I share in common with the King is that if I fall — the game will be over not just for me, but for everyone.”

“Marie?” You called out to your servant, who looked up at you with adoration. She already knew what you were going to ask, “If I told you to die for me, would you?”

“Of course, Master Y/N.”

You laughed in her face.

“If I told you to let me die. Would you?”

This time, with more hesitation, “Y-yes, Master Y/N.”

“Is that so? How adorable.” You couldn’t stop yourself from chuckling. This feeling of power over others was just as addictive as a drug. The people of this house held you in such high regard, that they would even go against Barbados himself for your sake.

Suddenly, your expression went cold, “Then you are no Queen.. Just another pawn.” Your gaze shifted once more onto the wooden figures held in your hands, “Remember this — anything and anyone can be replaced, but the King.”

You dropped the chess pieces in your palms straight onto the chess board. The pieces clacked, and flew all across the table.

Chaos..

Discord..

Malice..

Death.

Weeks were passing by, and Donna was still out of options. Now, with a further sober mind, she wasn’t sure what she was meant to propose to Diluc in order to change his mind. If only they could just run away, but they were held like hostages to their own fates — prisoners of your home. Until this day, Diluc still called it “his” mansion, but anyone who wasn’t a complete cretin knew the truth. You’ve long planted seeds, strengthen roots, and bloomed in this house. They were strangers here, no matter how hard one would look.

“Donna, did you come up with a solution?” Diluc creeped up behind her like a ghost; she didn’t even hear his steps nor sensed his presence.

“H-honey.. Can we just.. Run away from here? Maybe we’ll build a cabin in the woods where nobody will find us.. And live there.. Forever?” The woman grabbed at his shirt and pressed herself closer to his chest. She could hear his heartbeat, but it sounded cold. Distant. Like an echo.

Diluc gently took Donna by her shoulders, and pushed her away to look deep into her eyes. Those eyes were the ones of a dead man who had learned how to walk and talk, but it was easy to tell that he had long abandoned dreaming and living.

She had lost him.

This was it.

“I won’t rest until that bitch is fucking dead.”

A chill ran through Donna’s spine. She froze, and didn’t even care to chase after him as he walked off into the distance. She shouldn’t have said anything to him that day when she lost her child, she gave him an idea — that turned into an obsession. He had become a sick man. No, he had always been a sick man, it was just..

It was just..

That he loved Donna before.

But he didn’t anymore.

His love for Donna, was replaced with hatred for you, and it seemed like Diluc’s heart only had place for one person.

It was her time to let go.

And so, the brunette slowly turned herself around to go back to the guest bedroom to pack away her things and leave this cursed mansion. She had enough money to hire an adventurer to escort her to Liyue. There was no more life left for her in Mondstat, not after what she had done. Not after what Diluc was about to do.

Perhaps.. They liked flowers in Liyue as well.

You knew that he was approaching, and fast. His footsteps echoed across the hallway long before he even reached your door. You and Marie exchanged a look; already expecting what was to come. After all, the walls were quite thin within the mansion.

When Diluc flew into the room, he had resembled a beast far more than a human. There was fire in his eyes — perhaps this was the first time that he had truly looked alive since the day that he came back to you. A lost hound had returned to its owner to consume it alive. You’ve ran out of things that could saturate his hollowing hunger.

“In Fontaine, you have the right to fight for your honor with a duel.” He said while staring down at you. You sat at your work desk on a massive red velvet chair whilst playing with a pen between your fingers. Your movements stopped, and you looked up at him with a smirk.

“Is that so?” You chuckled; feeling amused, “I am saddened to disappoint you, but you do so with a dualist assigned by the Chief of Justice.”

“Either you fight me or everyone in this mansion dies.” The red-headed man threatened you, at which you couldn’t contain your laughter anymore.

“They can all die.” You shrugged, “Dying for me is an honor, Diluc.” The man rolled his eyes at your response, but didn’t give up.

“Either you fight me — or I will set the whole of Mondstat on fire.” At first, you wanted to instantly reply back — ‘You wouldn’t do that’ — but with another second of staring into his eyes you knew for sure that he had truly lost his mind. He had nothing left to stay for, “I will murder citizens, women, children.. I will cause chaos, until I am stopped. However, you are able to prevent the loss of those lives by agreeing with me right here and right now to fight for honor.” He took one step after another, and eventually placed both of his palms against the table and leaned in closer towards you, “I wouldn’t be surprised if I am not the only one in the need of honor cleansing.”

You couldn’t care less about the humans’ lives, however, if the word got out that Diluc would not have committed crimes have you agreed to a duel, but you haven’t, it would greatly affect your reputation. Damaging to your reputation, would damage your status, damaging status, would damage the business, damaging the business would damage sales, and then slowly and eventually..

You will also be left with nothing.

“A duel it is.” You stood up and straightened out your hand. With hesitance, Diluc shook it, “One of us will not see the dawn, do you agree for such a risk?”

“You don’t have to ask me twice, Y/N.”

Dueling is about recovering your honor, it was not an act of killing.

There were many important rules to a proper duel. First of all, such were not allowed in the country of Freedom and winds. Thus, it had to happen in the country of Geo and contracts, where both you and Diluc had signed the appropriate documentations which were overlooked by Lady Ningguang herself. Since both you and Diluc were considered to be individuals of high status, it applied even further complications to the whole ordeal.

You ensured that the vision from Diluc was confiscated, and that he was not allowed to use weapons he was further familiar with than you. So, the claymores and the swords were off the weapon choice. Both of you had signed for the weapon to be a loaded pistol. Your husband requested for them to not come from the production of your company, thus, also disabling any potential advantages from your side.

The day had come. Strangely enough, you did not feel nervous. You felt oddly excited.

Standing back-to-back with Diluc made you realize that it had been years since you were able to feel his warmth against your skin. It was a paralyzing feeling. This was probably the last time that you would feel it, but the idea of that brought you strange comfort.

You looked around, before you stood an audience of people, friends, and even some distant families. You could see in the center of the seating lady Ningguang together with her two most trusted servants by each of her sides. You could also see the glimpse of Master Jean, the Traveler, and even Paimon. You weren’t sure if the sights which were about to transpire were worth witnessing. There were also guards standing in each corner of the podium, ready to intervene under lady Ningguang’s orders if she thought that the duel had gotten too far.

Well, it was definitely going to get too far.

Dueling is about recovering your honor, it was not an act of killing. However, you and Diluc were gathered here today to kill one another. One of you can exist only with the death of the other. There was no loophole or another solution to this.

The loaded gun rested heavy in your palm, but you didn’t shake nor sweat. You had long abandoned fear or attachment to living.

There was a loud voice, you didn’t know what they said, but you knew what had to be done. 20 steps, and fire. 20 steps, and fire. 20 steps, and fire.

In 20 steps, your life was about to change forever.

20..

19..

Your heart was starting to squeeze, but the adrenaline rush kept you going forward. You stood proud and confident. Your chest was puffed out, and your movement never lost its grace.

18..

17..

The face of young Diluc flashed before your eyes. He used to be so happy, so full of life, and filled with passion. If only that boy had known he would grow up into such a monster.

17..

16..

You looked down at your gloves. You put on the best pair that you had. White silk with a black beautiful design stitched by hand. It also had some pearls situated at the corners of the black lines. This pair had come all the way from Inazuma, and last time you had worn them was on your wedding day.

16..

15..

The weather today was perfect. It was sunny, and it was easy to stay warm even in lighter clothes. However, the fresh breeze of a wind made you feel refreshed just how you would in winter. The sun of Mondstat, and the wind from Dragonspine, all the way in Liyue. The Archons were truly having a laugh at you.

15..

14..

You noticed that Donna was also present in the audience. She had been crying for a long time. There was a handkerchief in her palm, her eyes were swollen and puffy, her pupils surrounded by wine-red. Poor girl, you thought, but you felt no empathy. Karma would catch up with her as well, the same way how karma was catching up with you today.

14..

13..

You were trying to recall what you had for breakfast today, and couldn’t remember. Ever since you started preparing for your death, the days and nights have blended into one. You were truly in the moment — in the present — today.

13..

12..

For some reason, you wondered whether Diluc remembered the day of your birthday. Did he remember your anniversary? Did he remember the day when your parents had passed away?

12..

11..

You saw Kaeya sitting in the audience as well. He gave you a weak smile when he caught your glimpse towards him, and you couldn’t help but shake your head in irony of it all.

11..

10..

You noticed that Marrie was not present, just how she had promised. After all, you entrusted the last task to her. You knew she’d get it done. You knew that she wouldn’t get involved.

She was free.

10..

9..

You wondered what the life would have been like, if instead of running away, Diluc actually would have come to you for comfort. What if he had processed his grief, and the two of you would have moved on? Maybe you would have children by now. Perhaps, also dogs, cats and horses.

Maybe you would have been happy.

9..

8..

You saw a shadow of your parents standing right before you. Their faces were covered with a faint light glow. This made you wonder, you couldn’t quite recall how their faces had looked like. Or the sound of their voices. No, you couldn’t even remember what it felt like to have your father smile at you or what was it like for your mother to tell you bedtime stories. Those were luxuries of the past.

The dead had come to visit, as if already decided upon the fate that was about to be bestowed. There was no way around this, was there?

8..

7..

You could hear Diluc’s angry panting all the way from where he was standing. He was fuming. He was raging. He was burning from inside out from hatred and agony. He had decided that getting rid of you would put everything to a stop. That he would stop feeling like a monster was eating him alive. That he would be finally put out of his misery.

Oh, how wrong could one be.

7..

6..

You thought back to when Diluc had proposed to you for the first time. You were still just kids, and both of you had no clue that it was already decided that both of you will get married for diplomatic reasons. He had braided a stem alongside another stem of small, delicate flowers into a ring and a flower crown. He had gifted those to you, with a pure smile and a faint peach blush hovering his cheeks. You were in love.

6..

5..

You thought back to when Diluc had got his vision. At first, you were a bit jealous. After all, everyone wanted to have a vision. And knowing that both of your parents had one, however, you didn’t, always made you feel a bit petty inside. You could recall begging him to use his pyro abilities, because you wanted to see the magic, oh so badly! He asked you, which animal did you want him to make. Without any hesitation you replied, a bird!

5..

4..

You thought back to when the detectives that you have hired to investigate your husband’s disappearance first told you that they thought Diluc had passed away. Your whole world came crushing down. You felt sick right then and there. You were dizzy for weeks, the doctor’s couldn’t help you. There was one professor from Sumeru who decided to take your case and heal you from a “broken heart”.

In reality, it was a congestive heart failure. The causes were unknown. Your medications kept you stable for some time, but there wasn’t much time left.

4..

3..

You thought.. You thought.. You thought..

Almost as if time had come to a stop.

2..

1. . .

It was very sunny that day. You were a bit hungry, but felt too nervous to eat in the morning. After all, it was going to be the day that your life would change once and for all — you were going to be with your soulmate forever.

"Do you take Y/N as your lawful partner, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?"

The priest had asked Diluc the question, but he didn’t even need any time to think. The clear and loud “yes” had slipped past his lips even before the other could finish his sentence. The old and wise Priest smiled at the lovebirds, and the two of you sealed yourselves in a kiss — a promise.

Until death do us part.

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lixxpix · 3 months

Text

happiness looks good on you- lee felix

summary: you love felix, but he doesn't love you back.

warnings: sad ending, angst!

author's notes: hi everyone<3 this is my first fic, kinda wrote this at like 3am on a whim instead of sleeping but like😭 idk why i made this so sad (is this a sign im depressed or something) but hope u enjoy!! please to comment ur user if u want to be tagged in this or my future posts<3

"happiness looks good on you."

raging storms and unshed tears.

"happiness looks good on you."

heartbreak and rainy days.

"hurry up lix, we're going to be late," you complained, brow furrowed as you stuck your bottom lip out in a pout.

"if you really want to go to school that early just walk there yourself." felix taunted, knowing you were scared to walk alone. he was your long-term best friend, inseparable since kindergarten 'til today.

the two of you argued and bickered on the way to school, throwing insults at each other. by the time the both of you had gotten to school, you were both given a scolding and told to sit down. you glared at him as you were being scolded while he just snickered.

the audacity of this man, honestly .

by the time class had finished, you had cooled down, just like felix knew you would. otherwise, he could just stick out his bottom lip while you huffed and pretended to be mad.

"y/n!" he gasped, clutching at your arm, "areum just looked at me!"

he squealed, like a little kid at the toy shop, over his long time crush.

if only you looked at me in that way.

because i do.

"nah, she probably was just looking at someone else." you lied through your teeth, feeling your heart sink.

"hey, stop being mean!! she clearly looked at me," he pouted.

you sighed.

i've loved you for years and you've never noticed.

"well just confess to her already then."

it was painful watching your own crush and best friend fall for someone else, someone that wasn't you.

you wished, rather selfishly, that areum would reject him. then you could be the shoulder he would cry on. not her. but honestly, you couldn't bring yourself to hate her. what was to hate? she was pretty, got good marks, and was friendly and easygoing. not to say you yourself weren't pretty, but you just weren't as pretty and hardworking as her.

and you weren't the one he wanted.

maybe the pain would end if they just ended up together and you were out of the picture. it was obvious she liked him too.

"you really think i should? but what if i get rejected..."

you're so blind but i still love you.

"yes, how many times do i have to say this, she likes you. it's obvious." you rolled your eyes.

"should i just confess tomorrow? better late than never..." he trailed off, worrying at his bottom lip with his teeth.

gods you look so cute when you do that.

"yeah. get her some flowers and write her a note."

why were you breaking your own heart? you didn't know why. maybe you just wanted to end your own heartbreak.

"good luck with that, anyways i need to go to s house for a project." you actually didn't, but you would do anything to just escape from this.

"why~~are you really just going to leave me alone to plan my big confession by myself," he whined.

"sorry lix, but you'll figure it out." ruffling his hair, you walked out the classroom.

you did, in fact, go home. then sat on your bed and cried until you couldn't physically squeeze any more tears out of you. so this was what heartbreak felt like. you had known him since the both of you were ten. you had have multiple crushes here and there, but they were just passing, fleeting moments, nothing of importance. until him.

you didn't know when you had first started to like him. maybe it was that time in the library where he was helping the librarian stack books. maybe it was that time in the rain where he danced in it for hours.

maybe it was one summer day where your world just exploded in colours.

and now it felt like it was fading back to grey.

the next day, felix came bouncing up to you.

"i got her peonies, do you think she'll like it? i told her to meet me in the garden."

"yeah, she'll definitely like it. i would've too... " you muttered the last part all to yourself, turning away and blinking rapidly as tears threatened to prick your eyes. you offered him a smile of encouragement.

"good luck."

when lunch came, you watched as the nervous australian carried the peonies and went to the garden.

then you watched as they walked in ten minutes later, smiling bashfully and holding hands like schoolchildren in love.

because they were.

you went home, not even bothering to call in sick. you just grabbed your bag and went home. you would deal with the consequences later.

your heart hurt.

you were numb.

you were hollow.

you were crying.

you hated everything.

the next few days were spent at home. you called in sick. felix texted you countless times but you ignored him.

lixie<3

y/nie?

where r u?

she accepted!!!

im so happy>.<

read at 2:03 a.m.

yeah, right. good for you. but what about me?

lixie<3

...hello?

y/n?

can u please respond...

im worried...

what happened???

why didn't you come to school today??

read at 3:46 p.m.

you turned off your phone then turned over and cried again. you hated this. why did you have to fall for him in the first place?

finally, after four days of missed calls, texts, and school, you had to go back. its not like you had a choice anyways. you missed your parents. they lived overseas though, so you lived alone. but you really couldn't continue living like this for the rest of your life, even if you wanted to.

"y/nie!!!" felix exclaimed, running up to you. "why didn't you respond to my texts? are you okay? it's unlike you..."

"im sorry lix, i was just under the weather. im ok." you offered him a tight lipped smile. "congrats by the way." you closed your locker door and rushed off before he could ask you anything more.

"huh? thats unlike her... why is she acting so weird lately?"

and so you avoided him, as much as you could. you kept your conversations short and brief, not talking to him as much as possible, and even switching seats to sit far away from him. you watched his hurt face the day he walked in and saw you sitting somewhere else, but then cheering up as areum sat next to him. you watched as he laughed and held hands, ate tteokbokki and ramen with her in the cafeteria. that should've been me.

but honestly, it did nothing to fill the felix-sized hole in your heart.

you drifted apart. he barely texted you now, barely said hi to you, barely even saw you in the hallways anymore.

then exams were finished, and graduation started to roll around.

you watched as they attended prom and twirled around on the dance floor giggling.

you watched as they broke up on the doorstep of his dorms, watching as felix's face fell when she dumped him for another guy.

you didn't have the heart to tell him i told you so.

so you busied yourself in your exams, earning a scholarship to your dream university. felix tried reaching out to you several times to rekindle your old friendship, but you would always politely decline, preferring to be detached instead of going through more heartbreak.

you still loved him, but the once burning passion had now been reduced to a soft flicker every now and then, sparking ever so slightly whenever you saw him in the corridors. your own felix-shaped hole in your heart hadn't decreased over the years, but your heart became bigger, expanding so that other people could fit in it. the hole would always be there, but at least there was space for healing.

you turned around in the backseat of your friends' car to see the campus you had once called home fading away into the distance and felix along with it.

goodbye, the wind whispered.

"happiness looks good on you, lix. i hope you make the best of it."

#lee felix x reader #felix x reader #skz x reader #skz #stray kids #gn reader #angst #sad ending #lee felix #high school au #heartbreak #lost love #heartache #stray kids x reader #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x gender neutral reader #stray kids x you

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afterartist · 10 months

Text

14 hours I should have been spending on ArtFight and instead I spend it on this stupid drawing that tiktok decided to throw down the stairs- sjenxjen

Anyway,

I hate lighting and hope it dies<3<3

(ALSO: cause 4 some reason people on discord were asking, feel free to use this as phone wallpapers, I don’t mind)

Angsstttt cause Leaderless ending will always be sadder then Genocide and no I don’t take critique

And the actually semi okay quality drawings

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gwojo · 4 months

Text

can i love?

FEATURING: Megumi Fushiguro (伏黒恵)

megumi x reader, angst no comfort, reader uses they/them prns, non-sorcerer au, around age 18-19, just plain angst. (sorry) wordcount: 1,187

SUMMARY: In which, you've been admiring someone named Megumi Fushiguro around the 5th grade until college which turns out to be the present. you see others already resonating with their loved ones but what about you? will you just keep desiring to have a connection with him? 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜 : this is heavily inspired by the song "Can I love ?" which feats. youra, Meego) by cosmic boy! which tells about unrequited love and the desire to connect with them while at the same time being unsure of what your relationship is to someone, and the desires to be happy like others. I advise u listen to it while reading!

in my dream I remember the moment I was standing one step behind you.

You weren't always remembered as a person; you were just an ordinary student, which you deemed to yourself, and you promised that you'd stay like that forever. not until you met the boy named "Fushiguro Megumi."

After the occurrence between you both, accidentally spilling your ice cream on him when you were children and mumbling apologies as quick as you could, he helped you up before even wiping away the sticky texture in his jacket as he left you there staring, not even muttering a single word to you. Fortunately, that was the day you started to look for him wherever you went. Your parents thought it was just a silly crush you had when you were a child, but as the years passed, they started to see that it was actually a serious type of love for you.

You would always see him passing by whenever you went out at exactly 7:40 to go to school, which is around the block. You wait around the window before going outside, almost tripping the way down there, so you could walk at least 5 steps away from his back just to admire the way his face turns when he talks to his friends and the way he just walks quietly. As you began to admire and daydream by walking with him every day,

Your daydream stops when you realize you're already at your destination, the entrance of the school. As you shake your head and go inside, hoping for another better day,.

Why do your faces all say that I'm unhappy

As you sit on the bench beside the soccer field, with your friends giggling and talking about how their crushes or boyfriends are giving butterflies to their stomachs, you, on the other end, just smile and laugh while also realizing how far you are from him—feeling upset and empty, you stood up to get a drink from the vending machine while telling your friends you'll leave for a while.

On the way there, you couldn't help but stop thinking. The feeling of being judged for not being able to achieve the same level of happiness as others is truly terrifying but hurtful at the same time. You were always just admiring him from afar; you doubt he even knows you despite you both being in the same class, and you just wish you'd have a connection or at least a relationship with him, even if it's just friends.

You scoff at yourself and think how pathetic it is to even assume he knows your name whenever you guys are paired together with other people and to think that he's your friend. is just truly pathetic, as you think to yourself.

You weren't just passing by, just brushing past

Even if you keep reminding yourself that you and him have more to their dynamic and relationship than just a fleeting moment, you reflect your hopes of being somewhat of a person to him somehow. The lingering feeling of your beating heart but pain can be felt in another way; you still hold on to that feeling and want to ask him countless questions.

But.. you couldn't. You were uncertain of how he feels about you or even if he notices you when you anonymously give him chocolates without revealing your identity to him. He didn't even know you. So why be stupid and think that he'll like you back? You mutter to yourself as you plop yourself in bed, just staring at the ceiling, waiting for another day to arrive to celebrate the party at school.

You were sitting on the floor quietly while your friends rambled and had fun beside you. You really appreciated them sticking by you even in your hard times, and you thank them for that. The president then calls everyone in the classroom to gather around and sit in a circle to play a game called truth or dare. Countless people have taken their turn playing the game and answering questions, some doing silly things their friends have told them when they chose truth or dare. As you zoned out, not until you heard his voice choosing "truth" as the other people asked him what his type was, you waited eagerly for his answer while your heart was beating as quickly, hoping for an answer that could be related to you.

"Someone with an unshakeable character."

You heard his deep but calm toned voice, your heart slowly stopped beating in a fast rate. You scoff to yourself in your mind as you reminisce about the things you've imaged and did.. the remaining hopes of you which lingers everyday comes to an end. Unshakeable? you doubted that would be you, you were always scared of everything and doubtful towards yourself, maybe he truly didn't know you and your assumptions and doubts were right and won. You couldn't stop the burning pain in your heart and almost swollen eyes with tears were threatening to fall as you quickly told your friends if you could go home since "your relative needed some help" as you lied to them just to get away. You walked the way home, it wasn't the cliché scene where you get heartbroken and it was raining, in fact no, it wasn't raining at all.. it was just sunny and bright with clouds and the sun almost going away.

I don't know what kind of relationship we had

You slowly admired and got lost in the skies while you walked through the bridge with trees and leaves falling down, cars passing by and bicycles with lovers giggling to each other saying how they're about to fall.. You didn't run whenever you felt upset, you didn't cry at home, no, not at all—you didn't even cry because you felt like you couldn't anymore, you didn't expect much but it still hurts knowing very clear that he doesn't know you are.

You were quiet the way back home, just admiring everything slowly and accepting that you were hurt.. because what could you do about it? he won't reciprocate your feelings toward him and that was fine even if you admired him for years. You felt surprisingly okay with a hint of pain in your heart, small tears fell down while you smiled at the beauty of the blue and pink skies.. Accepting the way you felt was okay and that you won't be able to feel the stage of happiness everyone feels in this world, it was okay, you were okay.

Okay with the feeling of the in denial feeling that you will never feel the happiness that others feel, with their loved ones and crushes; the way their smiles light up in happiness just to see them as they walk together to their destinations.. as you sigh slowly.

As you put on your playlist and chose the song "can i love ?" by cosmic boy, and just giggled realizing how much you relate to the song.. maybe it isn't so bad speaking or feeling the pain and uncertainty that comes with wanting to connect with someone who may not feel the same way.

You always wanted to run and ask him, confess your apparently "dying" love to him as you rant to your friends.. but right now, you just felt like keeping it to yourself.

"Can I love? You?"

reblogs are appreciated! thank you for reading.

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spoopy-nevermore-dump · 9 months

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Hey pssst hey. Have you ever considered: Montada?

I hate it, and it nearly killed my hyperfixation

But I understand my opinion on this may affect others, and many may be hurting from this episode soooooooooo

Art requests open

#nevermore webtoon #i debated on posting this response when you sent it because 1) spoilers but 2) i swear i neededa fucking warning for this shit #“jessie and james vibes” my ass #monty has been giving off major r@pist vibes since his introduction #and while this makes sense as a good angsty plot point for ada. i dint think it should be endgame for a plethora of reasons #the past month ive known about this ive been waiting for the community divide that will probably occur ocer this #and i dont want people to fight #nevermore has been there for me for well over a year. helping me through the days since 11th grade. when i was 16. and im graduated now. 18 #the community has been an absolute blast. even if im not as active on maincord anymore. with life getting busy and just too much to backrea #and im scared of losing that #but hey i got some art coming up in the next few days and I'm about to go to a wedding and you bet your ass im bringing my sketchbook #pls give me requests ive been in idea art block #and i dont think you guys want me making a bunch or horror movie aus cause that may end up in me drawing slight gore eventually #sorry to the other patrons for lying how i felt about this ship #i did truly feel neutral when i first saw it but now it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth #it makes me feel sick #a good part of my feelings towards it is due to how it got talked about in the Patreon streams and how uncomfortable it made me and others

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determunition · 4 months

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not finished with the latest chapter but it's nice to see leshy be able to infodump ab his campaign to goobert :3

aa thanks! ^^ i've been getting quite a few responses like that, i'm so glad to hear people like how that chapter came out; i was initially going to have it end a bit less wholesomely (to tie into the whole "failure" thing in canon), but leshy in OFH has already been so ignored and out of touch that i figured he deserved to have a better time with someone for once

that being said, i'm still not sure what he's going to do with that tub of goo lmao; luckily for me, he's probably just as clueless as i am

#inscryption #retyrement au #doot answers #leshy inscryption #tbh goobert's ended up having a way better time with certain characters than i even expected he would lmao #i'd intended for him to dislike the angler like he does in the game #but he ended up kinda neutral on the guy #so i had him be a bit more antagonistic towards leshy's campaign version of the angler instead

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south-sea · 4 months

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for new year's i bring you: melancholy neutral end AU stuff

#shadow the hedgehog #black doom #black arms: black moth #neutral end au #art by sea #(dies)

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univer-underfell · 1 month

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"Underfell?" Flawed Pacifist Ending.

youtube

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moodlemcdoodle · 2 years

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So I’ve been working on ideas for a Shadow The Hedgehog (2005) rewrite/AU idea for a while now (see my sketch comic rewrite of the intro here)… What if the multiple pathways are because Shadow is stuck in a time loop groundhog day style and he has to go through all the pathways to retrieve all his memories and figure out “WHO I AM” for REAL (and get to the final story)

Hopefully soon I can put together something that explains the whole idea better, but for now have this silly sketch comic of Shadow going insane :)

#Chaos Stuck AU #that’s the name!!!!#I wanted to wait to share this AU till I had something more concrete but I want to be better about sharing my AUs and ideas…#(and also I got a little paranoid that the snapcube shadow dub will do a similar idea lmao)#(very VERY excited for that btw it’s going to be a BLAST but I wanted to get my own AU out there just in case…)#speaking of sharing more of my AU stuff #may at some point put together a treat for my warrior cats followers 👀#shadow the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog (2005)#shadow the hedgehog game #sonic the hedgehog #black doom #Eggman #e 123 omega #moodle’s mcdoodles #sth #Shadow’s android supremacy rant is canon btw i literally just referenced the actual ending of the neutral run #but unlike canon there’s no chaos emeralds… hmm…

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nnight-dances · 2 years

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MOONSICK

...wherein you're convinced your time as kazuha's fake lover is nearing its end.

pairings: kazuha x gn!reader

genre: angst, hurt to comfort, fluff!

note: been feeling a bit sad these days because kazuha's banner is coming up but i'm nowhere near pity and i have a 50/50 to win :( :( not getting the maple boy for a second time will truly be devastating so i'm writing kazuha angst to make myself feel better??

🌙

it’s falling apart, faster than you could’ve imagined. you’d always realized somewhere within you that whatever it is you have with kazuha is temporary, artificial, just an act. it doesn’t matter that his eyes seem to hold the world’s worth of meaning in them when he looks at you and it certainly doesn’t matter the way he caresses your arms tenderly even when nobody can see. because in the end, it isn’t even real.

but as always, the truth eludes you as soon as kazuha envelopes you in his arms, unafraid that your friends are right here, beside you, eyes wide and glistening with the sight of you being loved. and as his lips comes to touch your cheek, you have to remind yourself that that’s the whole point: for everyone to see. it only exists in everyone’s imagination. in your imagination, perhaps, it flares the most passionately.

“hm?” you’re pulled back to reality when kazuha hums something into your ear, wrapped around you from behind you, “you doing okay, petal?”

it takes you a moment to still your heart. “fine,” you reply, managing to keep your voice stable. but the brevity of your response isn’t lost at all on kazuha. his arms only tighten around your torso, and your heart becomes harder to keep in check.

“is it ‘cuz i haven’t been around you too much today?” he mumbles the words into the nape of your neck. the bonfire in front of you roars up back to life, presumably because thoma’s refilling the wood from across you. you look away from the fire, feeling your eyes tear up.

“i’ve no idea what you’re on about,” you answer, feeling small and petty in his arms. but you’re not lying. you really don’t understand why kazuha continues to whisper these words of a lover into your skin when no one else can hear you.

“’m sorry, petal,” kazuha continues on, not paying any heed to your denial, “you know how beidou gets. she really does think of herself as my guardian, i can’t get away from her.”

you’re fumbling now, mainly because it is true: you’ve been less than happy since the day started with beidou sweeping kazuha away from you. but the distance did you some good, didn’t it? it took you that much too grasp that the smiles you’ve been sporting for kazuha are far from faked.

but you’re also fumbling because you wish kazuha would stop treating you like you were his, as part of his bigger plan. you’d become much weaker in the matter of a few hours away from him. you don’t think you could do it to yourself any longer.

you sigh then, pulling kazuha’s arm off yourself, a smile you’d forced making its way to your face. “i need some air, kazuha,” you tell him, looking right into his eyes and inside, you’re begging him to stay away, “i’ll be back. can you stay here please?”

you’re already clearing up by the time you’re out of everyone’s line of sight, sitting against the wooden bench outside the camp you’re staying at, back resting against the cool stone of the wall behind you. “you’re fucked, y/n,” you tell yourself under your breath, “you’re so fucked.” you can feel your tears prickling up and you hastily blink them back when you hear footfalls beside you.

“k-kazuha?” your voice breaks for one and for all. you’re glad you’re not crying yet but the fall of kazuha’s brows is enough to tell you he’s not convinced you’re as composed as you make yourself seem.

“forgive me, petal, i tried to stop from following after you,” he says, out of breath when he kneels in front you, “but i couldn’t get myself to believe you. you’ve always been terrible at lying, haven’t you?”

“can they hear us?”

your words are barely above a whisper but kazuha catches them, blonde locks bobbing up and down as he shakes his head no. “then, why-?” your breath catches with the effort of holding back your tears, your throat closing up.

kazuha’s brows set further into his eyes at your state, hands coming to grasp your shoulders. you want to flinch but you’re only melting into them. “have i done something to upset you?”

you breathe out an unhappy laugh, brushing away his fingers from your skin, feeling the distance from him freeze up around you overwhelmingly. “i’m not upset. i want to… stop. you don’t-” you take a deep breath while kazuha’s frozen stiff in his posture in front of you. “you don’t need to keep going. i’m- we can stop.”

“p-petal? whatever do you mean?”

you think you’ve made up the stuttering in kazuha’s speech but one look at him tells you that his panic is very much real. his eyes are fixed on you, cheeks lacking their typical gentleness. “you’re tired? we can take a rest in the-”

“kazuha.” you say his name with equal parts yearning and anger. he’s missing the point on purpose. his fists clench at the gravity of your downturned mouth. “i know you needed me to be by your side and pretend to be your lover, but. . . i can’t do it anymore. i’m-”

“i’m sorry.” his words catch completely off-guard and you lose track of the words you’ve been rehearsing the whole day. “i can’t let you leave me. you’re right, i do need you. and i-” you stand up, wanting to escape before you’re pulled back into the addictive pretense of kazuha’s love again. he couldn’t desire you for real, could he?

“no, please, petal, don’t leave yet,” he stops you, standing to block your path, “i’m afraid i’ve broken the one rule we’d agreed on. i stopped acting like your lover a while ago. i’m- i’ve truly fallen for you, y/n. i need-”

this time, you’re the one floundering around for kazuha’s hands, your fingers warming his when you pull him closer to you. you’re unbelievably out of breath when kazuha’s eyes fall back on you, mouth still half-open in shock.

“i’m the same as you. i’m in love with you, kazuha.”

you almost expect everything to black out then and there, all a part of an elaborately cruel dream but then you feel kazuha’s breath against your face when he comes closer. “then, you wanted to leave because-?” you nod and kazuha’s frown finally breaks out into a sigh of relief. his arms work on their, pulling you into him, his own body deflating against yours.

“you scared me, petal,” he whispers into your ear and now you’re starting to realize, a little bit late, that kazuha’s love is reflected in his softness around you. “i’d been functioning on the hope that you’d felt something for me and that’s why you’d put up with this contract for so long. but you really felt so distant tonight, love, the way you’ve been calling me kazuha and blocking my kisses. i love you too much, please, please stay.”

your tears are mixed with giddiness when you let them out, placing your lips on his, with a, “’m sorry, kazu,” feeling a thousand unnamed emotions when you feel his laughter rival your own.

#kazuha x reader #kazuha x you #kazuha x y/n #kazuha genshin impact #kaedehara kazuha #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x you #genshin impact imagines #kazuha angst #kazuha fluff #kazuha hurt to comfort #fake dating au #fluff #angst with a happy ending #kazuha imagines #kazuha headcannons #genshin x you #kazuha kaedehara #gender neutral y/n

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