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qqueenofhades · 2 months

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Is it normal that I’m legitimately so scared of saying pretty morally tame things like “I don’t want to talk about genocide because it makes me severely uncomfortable” or in general expressing my political opinion.

Like i’m not even kidding when I say that all my drafts are just my possibly offensive (probably not) political takes i’m just so scared of everyone leaving me it’s not even funny.

Anyway i also think that if you talk about Palestine but not Ukraine you are a victim of Russian Propaganda™️

I’m sorry I don’t know why i did this have a nice day ok baiiiiiii

Here's the thing. You and every other average social media user should not have to masquerade as a sudden in-depth expert on every single social, political, humanitarian, etc. crisis that we are dealing with in this wretchedly miserable excuse for a timeline. It should not be a baseline expectation on you that when you log onto your little social media in your little average life, you have to come up with The Correct Opinions on everything and if you don't, you're "perpetrating oppression" by not vigorously spreading misinformation, instead of simply admitting that you don't know what to do, you as an average citizen are not in a position of making this change and therefore don't actually have to spend every waking minute obsessing about it, and that maybe, just maybe, you'd like to spend more time informing yourself until and/or IF you decide you want to talk about it. This is the same as the Instagram Activists (TM) who traumatize themselves to the point of PTSD by constantly consuming torture and/or war porn and/or graphic content about murdered children because they "don't have the right to look away." Actually, you do. You are able to make choices to control your personal social media use and to set boundaries as to what you do and do not want to do and/or see, rather than insisting that the only moral choice is to literally mentally destroy yourself with all the weight of human suffering in the world and then expected to act as a de facto expert on all of it, on pain of being Cancelled. This is a stupid, irrational, unhealthy, and generally idiotic expectation. You should not have to take part in it. Nobody should.

Likewise, I think that this is a large part of why people are so scared to voice any opinion that goes against the Prevailing Groupthink: they are afraid of losing friends, of having nasty bad-faith internet trolls say mean things about them, being accused of being a "bad person," or otherwise being guilt-tripped, shamed, and blamed for not centering their entire existence around something that they cannot actually do anything about. Once again, people think the only way you can be Known to Oppose Something Problematic (tm) is if you post on social media about it all the time. Forget whatever you might be doing offline, in your real life, or otherwise; it "doesn't count" if you don't make a big virtuous display of your Rightthink, or you will be viciously harassed. Now, look, I am old and/or tired enough that I don't give a shit what stupid internet users say about me, but I can tell you that I sure did when I was younger, it was incredibly painful to be on the end of those kinds of attacks, and it's (again!) not something you should just have to expect as a baseline level of gaslighting and harassment. As I have said. This is Tumblr. It is a stupid blue website mostly for fandom and/or three in-jokes. This is not a platform where we are expected To Do Social Justice all the time, nor should it be. As for Elon Musk's Twitter: yeah. No.

Also: yes, if you do spend all your waking moments obsessing over Palestine, but say nothing whatsoever about Ukraine and/or openly support Russia, you are in fact very much a victim of Russian Propaganda and you 100% support genocide when it's done by an "anti-western" state that you support for that reason alone. You only care because you can use the cause to make yourself look morally superior, and it has nothing whatsoever to do with opposing genocide on a basic, universal, or fundamental level. The end.

(I hope you have a nice day too. The anger in this is not directed at you. I support everything you've said here and hope that you're able to set healthy boundaries and protect yourself.)

#wolfieisacat #ask #politics for ts #apparently i am in a fighting mood today #so i might as well get it all out

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inchidentally · 1 month

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when did Oscar say he was glad he beat Lando to the sprint win?

I finally found it and oh my god I wish I hadn't put so much effort into this reply now

bc it's literally nothing ;ashfk;sah

but since I already drafted this! I'm mostly a fake so I can understand newer ppl needing insight into the peculiar type of competition in F1 and the weird balance of drivers respecting and maybe liking each other as people vs wanting to vanquish all of them as a fundamental part of a driver's mindset and training - and how they couldn't have even gotten to F1 in the first place if they didn't have that mentality.

Lando has always been super honest about this and stated it back when he started in F1

and ofc the quote about Daniel that got him so much shit but that he was literally just stating facts

Max saying the same thing

I also compiled videos of Lando and Carlos saying the same things about how they don't see any of their F1 friends as their private life friends because of the necessary rivalry. again that makes absolute sense and shouldn't feel upsetting or strange bc they keep their jobs based on knife edge performance and success margins. it's called compartmentalizing!

so by the time I found the clip of Oscar blushing red and trying to hide his face when he said 'yes' to being pleased he did precisely what Lando has said he's always trying to do with Oscar/Carlos/Daniel imagine my surprise that that was all it was ???

so yea I'm guessing this whole thing was ppl either forgetting or not knowing that relationships among drivers exist second to their goals to beat everyone, esp the guy in similar machinery. (Oscar even being that bashful about it is honestly pretty surprising when I'm pretty sure most drivers wouldn't have been)

and like, I know we all got caught up in the high but both Carlos and Lando made it clear that the DRS 'on purpose' was for Carlos to keep a car that couldn't overtake him (Lando) between himself and the Mercedes that absolutely could have. it was a fun side thing that it was carlando but Carlos literally was not sparing a single percentage of brain space for bromance while he was gunning for a win we gotta remember that !!

[source1 source2 source3]

#inchreplies #wank adjacent #but not rly so I'm not putting behind a cut #for reference #I can envision needing to reference this again in future #mine

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fallinforerling · 1 year

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people you know. INTRO | j.b & g.r

A/N: I KNOW. I still have an active series and many requests on the drafts BUT... Just hear me out. I had a few requests that gave me this idea while I was listening to Selena's song, so... What do you think?

ೃ⁀➷ masterlist

ೃ⁀➷ my taglists

: ̗̀➛ REQUESTS ARE OPEN !

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ ˛ * 。° 。 •˚.・。.・゜✭・.⋆·˚ ༘ .・。.・゜✭・.. *ੈ✩‧

So many wasted nights with you

I still can taste it, I hate it

You didn’t know why your playlist was acting up so much lately. It played the most relatable songs, and not in a good way. They were mostly sad, nostalgic, and about breakups. Very insufferable, if you were asked. With a sigh, you just kept walking, not bothering to change the song.

Wish I could take it back 'cause

We used to be close but people can go from people you know

To people you don't

Your thoughts went instantly towards your ex. You pursed your lips, getting your phone to change the song. You wouldn’t let your mind wander towards the one person you wanted to really forget, at least for a couple of hours a day. It wasn’t easy work, though. You shared a friendship before getting involved in a relationship, so most of your friends were his friends as well. You couldn’t ignore his existence most of the time; he was everywhere. Not only because he was the best friend of your best friend, but also because he was a notorious footballer.

There were advertisements with his face or name on them everywhere you looked; people around you talked about his looks, skills, fame, and various achievements. You weren’t mad at that particular thing; he deserved the recognition after all. But it made it a lot harder to get over him.

It also made your life sadder than usual.

You missed him— not exactly him as your boyfriend, but what he meant as a person in your life. He was your confidant, your best friend, and your rock. It’s been months since the last time you saw him, and you still struggle to get used to the fact that he isn’t in your life anymore. But only you knew that; you were too proud to admit it out loud. You were very skilled at hiding your heartbreak in front of everyone.

Nonetheless, you were going to refine your skills. The time was ticking away, getting closer and closer to one specific date that you had been dreading since a long time ago. In two weeks or so, you were going to be face-to-face with him. And you had to pretend you two were complete strangers, like you hadn’t noticed his presence. All while you hung out with the group of friends you both shared.

You were destined to fail.

But that didn't meant you were going to let yourself fail.

Never in front of him, that was for sure.

#jude bellingham fic #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham imagine #jude x reader #judebellingham #jude #gio reyna #gio reyna x reader #gio reyna imagine #footballer blurb #love triangle

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meetinginsamarra · 5 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

I've been tagged by @totallysilvergirl and @calaisreno TYSM!!

1. How many works do you have on A03?

51 in total

12 "real" fics and 21 ficlets and 18 covers (I didn't know how to embed on AO3 back then)

2. What's your total A03 word count?

271.977

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Sherlock BBC

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Mutual Attraction , Learn My Scars, The toe that didn´t belong, The embers still glow when I´m sober , Gravity is missing from everything

The last three are in fact a series called Here I Am

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Of course! Always and quickly. I love comments, they make my day and fill me with happiness for hours. Not kidding!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

None of my fics end angsty. Some of my ficlets might, possibly Time

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

They all end happily.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

There had been a few very weird comments on "Mutual Attraction" that were rude or offensive. Some had been deleted by the cowards who posted them later.

9. Do you write smut?

Yes, I have written porn and enjoyed it. I also write gen and everything in between. Depends on the story.

10. Do you write crossovers?

No, because I define "crossover" as a mix of two existing universes, like Sherlock x Star Trek for example. I have written several AUs though. Alternate Universes with the same characters of my show but placed somewhere else.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have been offered three times but declined because I personally am not comfortable with it.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Johnlock

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have this fairy tale AU sitting in my drafts for literal years. 20k written and several attempts to take it up again, it is mostly plotted but just resists being finished. *sigh*

16. What are your writing strengths?

Learning by doing, I guess? I think of myself that I am versatile. Maybe writing movie-like action scenes. I remember that's been said in comments.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I honestly do not know. (Which is not me saying I can do everything perfectly!! I just try whatever I want.) Finishing the above mentioned fic possibly.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If it fits the story, why not? I write in English which is not my native language, so I could do German and some French and Italian, too.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Sherlock BBC.

I've actually never written anything before I started with Sherlock fanfic. I got this idea and it grew and I began to write it down just for me so that I would not forget it. Then I thought, why not write it into a fic? I've been reading a lot fanfic already. Over the course of two years (writing on and off) the idea had turned into a 94k fic. I only started posting "Mutual Attraction" when it was completed on AO3.

I still think it's funny because just imagine this. Never wrote a word of fiction before, not even in my native language. Then, first thing I produced is a novel-length fic written directly in English. Still seems surreal to me.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

I love all of my babies and will not choose a fave one. There are only faves in categories.

"Mutual Attraction" was my first and longest fic.

"Wretched and Divine" was the one that made me find my dear friend and beta @peageetibbs

Technically, I am most proud of pulling off "Learn My Scars" because it is 38k written under a huge amount of pressure due to daily posting for Whumptober 2022. Five weeks of intense writing madness but very rewarding, too.

AU and plot-twist wise it would be "The 13th Book ".

---------

So many people have done this but I think @shiplocks-of-love @shelleysprometheus @cumbercurlygirl have not been tagged yet. And anybody else who wants to share, please.

#20 questions for fic writers #my sherlock fanfics #meetinginsamarra #meet_me_in_samarra on AO3

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glorious-spoon · 5 months

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9 and any Stranger Things ship for the wrapped meme

Thank you! Number 9 this year was Limelight, by Rush. Here's a bit of pre-relationship Steddie featuring Eddie's complicated feelings about his hometown - I hope you enjoy!

title: get on with the fascination [on AO3]

word count: ~1900

Fifteen years after the world doesn't end, Eddie Munson returns to Hawkins.

It's a dramatic phrasing, even in his own head; for one thing, this is far from the first time he's been back since the summer of 1986, although the last time was almost a decade ago. He doesn't call it going home. Home is New York, and sometimes Chicago these days, which is as close to Roane County as he usually wants to get. Home, as far as it ever existed for him in Hawkins, was a trailer that got dropped into an alternate dimension along with a good chunk of the town the same night Eddie almost died. Home is the little house over the Illinois border where Wayne has lived since '91. Home sure as shit isn't here.

"You planning on brooding this whole time, or what?" Steve asks from across the booth. The bar they're currently sitting in is no longer called The Hideout; at some point in the last fifteen years, it's been rebranded to On The Rocks Bar And Grill. There's a fresh coat of paint on the walls and a layer of new laminate flooring over the old asbestos tile. Draft taps and an honest-to-god raised stage instead of the grimy corner where the old band used to play. At the turn of the millennium, Hawkins is finally gentrifying.

"I'm not brooding."

"Yeah, man, you totally are. Could we get a couple of refills? Thanks so much," he adds to the waitress who pauses by their table to ask if they need anything. She doesn't seem to recognize Eddie. Too young to remember him from his illustrious youth here, and apparently not into the metal scene, thank fucking Christ. For the most part, he kind of likes it when strangers come up to him in public—two platinum records in and it still hasn't lost its novelty—but not here. Not in Hawkins. This place still feels fucking cursed.

"Are you buying me beer now, Harrington?"

"You're the big-shot rockstar," Steve points out with a shit-eating grin. "You're buying."

"Ugh," Eddie groans, and puts his head down on the table, which doesn't even have the decency to be sticky. "Remind me again why I agreed to this?"

"I don't know. Closure?"

"Next time I decide to do something this shit-stupid, can you do me a favor and just, like, duct tape me to a chair or something?"

"Kinky," Steve says dryly, but he's still smiling when Eddie lifts his head to glare at him. Eddie should probably be less of a dick about this, given that Steve is only here for moral support; he doesn't live in Hawkins either these days. He's up in Chicago with Robin, who would also probably be here if she weren't mired in stacks of midterm papers on film theory from her earnest little freshman ducklings. Steve makes his own hours, so it's not that much of a surprise that he closed up shop and drove down here and didn't bother to call until he'd already crossed the county line, at which point Eddie was winding himself up into a dangerous head of steam and was grateful for any distraction that offered itself.

And Steve is the best kind of distraction. Always has been. Even now, kicked back in a bar booth in all his yuppie glory, sipping the last of his beer and scanning the bar every now and then with a wariness that Eddie hasn't seen from him in a while. Because Eddie isn't the only one who left a headful of ghosts behind in Hawkins, Indiana. He forgets that sometimes.

"Thank you, by the way," he says. "Did I say that yet?"

"Nah. Mostly you've just been, like, bemoaning your life."

"Bemoaning," Eddie repeats, delighted. "We'll make a poet of you yet, Stevie."

"In your dreams," Steve says mildly.

"Oh, every night, baby."

That gets him a scoff, but it's a fond one. The waitress comes back with their drinks, and he leans back out of her way to let her set them down and clear away their empty glasses. Steve thanks her again, and this time Eddie does too, because there's only so much wallowing that Steve will let him get away with and he's probably closing in on that limit quickly. Still, all Steve actually says once she leaves is, "So what's the plan, then? You're meeting the interviewers at, what, three?"

"Yeah," Eddie sighs. "I don't fucking know. They wanted me to, like, walk them around and show them the old sights, which sounded like a great idea when Marleen pitched it, but now it's like, what old sights? Oh, here's where the basketball team tried to kick my skull in. Here's where the football team tried to kick my skull in. Here's the picnic table where I used to sell weed out of my lunch box. Here's where my trailer was before a girl died there and it got sucked into the shadow dimension, except—oops!—can't tell you shit about that because I signed a stack of confidentiality agreements almost as tall as me. But they're still gonna ask." He lets out a long sigh and presses the heels of his hands into his eyes. "They're gonna want me to talk about Chrissy."

"So you tell them to go to hell."

He barks a laugh. "Easy as that, huh?"

"You've never had trouble with it before," Steve says with a shrug.

That's true enough. Eddie sighs again and reaches for his beer. "This place is fucking me up. No, there is actually a plan. We're gonna stop by the high school after it's cleared out and do the interview there, it's all set up. You know they put up a plaque with my name on it outside the drama room?"

Steve laughs. "No shit?"

"Yeah, apparently there was a vicious battle about it on the school board. Real fire and brimstone shit, went on for months. Henderson's mom led the charge on my behalf, I got the whole story from him."

"Jesus," Steve says. And then, "Shit, we should go see her while we're in town."

"You're just hoping she'll feed you."

"Well, yeah," Steve says. "I've been living on my own cooking since…" he waves a hand and makes a face. "You know. Since everything went south with Jerry."

Jerry was the latest in a series of attractive people of varying genders that Steve has dated over the last ten years, since he moved to Chicago and figured his shit out. Eddie kind of hated the guy, but it wasn't personal. He was objectively probably a perfectly fine person, and it wasn't his fault that Eddie fell head over heels for a hot monster-slaying jock in the spring of 1986 and never entirely recovered. Though, as he's now reminded, it's been a long time since he and Steve were both single at the same time, and the last time that happened, he still thought Steve was straight.

He tries to swallow that thought down with a mouthful of beer, but it lingers like a strange spiky shape in the back of his throat. "So, how's all that going, anyway?"

Steve groans dramatically.

"An encouraging response."

"No, it's fine. I'm, like, totally over him at this point. I just… I don't know, I figured I'd be past all this shit by now, you know? Thought I'd settle down, get my life together, find somebody who…" he trails off.

"Who…?" Eddie repeats leadingly.

"I don't know. Somebody who gets it. Somebody I don't have to, like, lie to."

"That's a tall order, my friend."

"Yeah, I guess," Steve mutters. He's looking at his beer, rubbing a thumb against the wedge-shaped scar bisecting his lower lip. He's got a lot of scars, and Eddie knows the story to most of them, even the ones he wasn't personally present for. But he supposes that he can see how it would wear on Steve, inventing explanations for them that aren't about being tortured by Russian spies or eaten alive by interdimensional monsters. Steve's not much of a liar, when it comes down to it. Eddie doesn't mind spinning fantastical stories to obscure the ugly truth, but they're wired differently that way.

"Hey," Eddie says. He taps his fingernails against Steve's glass and waits for him to look up. "Listen, I'm sorry I brought it up."

Steve smiles a little. "It's fine. Seriously. Robin says I'm being a sad sack, and she's probably right."

"Mm. Probably, but I am not the sensible Professor Doctor Buckley, am I?"

"God, you know she hates it when you call her that."

"She's the one who decided to get a PhD. Masochism, in my strong opinion."

"Oh, we all know," Steve says. He glances over Eddie's shoulder at the clock, then says, "Probably ought to get going if you want to make your interview on time."

"And Marleen has promised to string me up by my metaphorical balls if I show up late for another one," Eddie sighs. He drains the last of his beer and stands, digging his wallet out.

After they pay and head outside, Steve lingers by the side of the brick building, facing the road. It's a sunny day, breezy and crisp, pale wisps of clouds moving fast across the blue sky, and something about it makes Eddie's chest pinch with a strange nostalgia. Something about the way Steve looks right now, in his stylish yet dorky windbreaker with his hair tossed by the breeze. It's shorter now than he used to wear it but he really doesn't look that different at thirty-four than he did at nineteen. Older, sure, but it suits him.

"After I'm done with all this shit," Eddie says. "You wanna go get high at the quarry? You know, for old times' sake?"

Steve laughs softly, eyes crinkling. "Does it really count if we're not smoking in the back of your van?"

"True. Pretty sure I wouldn't get the deposit back on my rental if I turn it in smelling like grass, either."

"We can take my car," Steve says.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. If you want."

"You wanna crash with me after? So you don't have to drive all the way back home tonight, I mean? The room they booked me is, like, palatial. I didn't even know they had places that nice around here."

Steve glances at him again, rubbing his jaw. It wouldn't be the first time they've shared a hotel room, but there's a different context now. For one thing, they can both afford separate rooms these days. For another, Eddie's got that itch that means he's probably gonna do something reckless, and he's not even sure he wants to try to stop it.

If he and Steve go smoke up by the quarry where they spent the last summer of Eddie's teens, he's going to confess something, he's pretty sure of it. Lay it all on the line for Steve, after all this time. He's starting to think that might not even be the worst idea he's ever had. Steve is here, after all.

"Yeah, okay," Steve says, finally. He bumps his shoulder against Eddie's, and Eddie leans back into the solid warmth of him, and takes a deep breath of cool spring air, and watches the Hawkins traffic pass them by.

Tomorrow, he'll be gone. Maybe, if this doesn't all blow up in his face, he'll go back to Chicago with Steve. Hawkins is a place he's outgrown years ago, and whatever story comes out of this interview is never going to be anything other than a media-crafted shadow of the truth, but honestly, that's never been what mattered in the end.

"It's a date, then," he says, and when he glances over at Steve, he finds him already smiling back.

#stranger things #steddie #steddie fic #eddie munson #steve harrington #my fic #prompt fic

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chipped-chimera · 10 months

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WIP WEDNESDAY - 21/06/23

(I mean it’s technically Friday now between timezones and spoons but have this otherwise I’ll keep forgetting) My first WIP Wednesday! Thanks @theviridianbunny for the tag! I’ve been really getting stuck into modding - as well as falling into my usual mod habit of ‘start like six project at once and end up with a million WIP files' but I guess I’ll talk about the major ones.

Graphic design is my passion ...

(Long) rambling about mods I'm making + things I've learned below the cut~

My V’s tatt project is still ongoing, and I’ve (somewhat begrudgingly) been trying out Substance Painter to work on bits of it, mainly polishing seams between UV maps. It’s definitely got a lot of benefits, especially for graphic placement in really tricky areas (like anywhere in the entire head mesh region for example) but I still think a lot of the heavy work will still be done in Photoshop so I’ll probably be writing up both experiences with them when I do that tutorial I keep hinting at for complex tatt work. I’ve started drafting a tumblr tutorial but I wonder if that’s the best format, maybe a PDF? Google doc? Github wikis look cool? (tho I think I need to pay for that) - if y’all got suggestions for tutorial formats pls let me know!

As for the other arguably overly-ambitious-project-where-I-bit-off-more-than-I-could-chew ...

H A I R.

Hair has been the bane of my existence for about the past week( ... weeks? Maybe two?), most of it involving cursing, a lot of reverse-engineering game meshes and smashing my head against blender. But if not already evident from my monowire post - I am a stubborn bitch with too much time on my hands so even though there were at least two moments where I wanted to curl up on the floor under my desk and just stay there - we got there.

This all started because my favourite hair mod which I cannot split from my V’s identity was acting funky and the shape of it had been altered since a physics update. It wasn’t her anymore. So I needed new hair. I tried editing the existing hair. I tried importing the old hair mesh. I tried so many things and they didn’t work out one way or they threw a million errors or there were an obnoxious amount of verts.

I even tried looking for replacement mod hair. None of them fit, all of them felt too ‘clean’ for my V. So I just concluded: FINE. I’ll make my own damn hair. From scratch. At least then I’ll actually KNOW what’s going on with the mesh, right?

Problem with hair is tutorials are very limited in respect to Cyberpunk, so I had to learn a lot of this by myself and looking at other processes used for building game hair. I’ve had a previous stint in game design at uni but it was very introductory and more broad-strokes concepts not specific stuff like what ‘real time hair’ is and how you actually go about placing hair-cards (there’s a million different ways btw) but after another 3 days smashing my head against blender I finally got shit to work to a satisfactory level using hair tools for blender and the particle hair grooming system (not the 3.5 blender system, maybe more on that at some point).

Putting together the hair cards I was 120% convinced this was going to blow up in my face, primarily through vert count. But this hair tool plugin? Alarmingly efficient. I was frequently checking my work against Alt's hair mesh (one I was planning on rigging to) and here's the final-ish stats -

This is with only Alt's hair mesh selected (no cap) and then only my mesh(s - lots of layering to build it up), and by comparison I felt I'd built up the density of a chinchilla. This is not a brag, this is mostly genuine confusion over how efficient this plugin is, all I did was smack around hair curves. It did all the UV mapping junk on the fly.

Although structurally complete, I still consider this a WIP (yes I know there's a reeeeal fun vert funkiness in that second render, it's been fixed) since I'm having to go back and fine-tune some of the UV's the plugins mapped that I'm not happy with and generally figuring out my density problem because if anything, after putting it in-game it felt too dense.

Because yes, somehow I got it in game.

WITH. PHYSICS.

This may have driven me absolutely up the wall between having to learn blender from scratch then what the heck real time hair is and how that works etc. etc. but ... god, seeing her move back from the mirror and just feeling that instant catharsis of 'IT'S HER!' made it so. Damn. Worth it.

It looks too thick - this might be because I chucked in the 'doubled' feature Wolvenkit comes with because I hadn't spent any time doing backfaces. But it also might be because it's black? That's going to need investigating.

The physics need a lot of work too, I did a pretty rushed weight painting job last night on a merged version of the mesh because I was worried whether it was even viable and I'd already dumped an insane amount of hours into this between trying to salvage the old hair and building a new one (with some more bells and whistles. Mainly - curly). That wasn't without it's issues -

This almost fucking cracked me, given this was one of the issues I was experiencing before trying to fix an existing mesh mod. Turns out I was just being dumb and forgetting to export the armature, which I'd thought I wasn't supposed to do after having blender throw a bunch of errors on other hair attempts. I gave it a try after one last shot and boom. Worked. (I dunno what those errors were about man but now I know armature? very important).

Will I release this hair? no damn clue, depends on if I can get it to a level I feel is 'releasable'. I already know what I'm calling it though - Venatrix her side-handle I've decided on.

I look forward to adapting it into maybe a comb-back version, as well as a tied up version, so I can show off both her undercut + have the option of NOT hiding every damn tatt I've obsessed over placing on her neck haha.

In other news -

My much-needed wacom tablet replacement arrived (as well as other things I was looking forward to 👀) meaning my Wacom Cintiq, workhorse of ten years can finally enjoy her retirement. Her controls were getting funky, she had a few dead pixels but man. I'm convinced they won't make them like her ever again. Either way she's done unfortunately - upgrading my monitor to 2k made this painfully obvious. I don't think it's even running in full HD, it's that old. And with Phantom Liberty coming out this year? I'm probably going to need a new videocard and DVI compatibility isn't really a thing anymore.

So for future I think I'll just stick to the basic tablet set up, invest in screens. Also now I FINALLY know what her hair is gonna look like and with the tablet here, I can get back to work on the tattoo bodysuit.

Anyways, that's it for now! (Jesus Christ did you really read all of this? If you did you're a fucking trooper). Sorry for the extended ramble but MAN I did a lot, I needed to yell.

Till next time Chooms! Thanks again @theviridianbunny for the tag~ <3

Oh shit wait, have the blender renders before I forget because hahah I figured out how to do that too lol -

#cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunk 2077 modding #my mods #wip wednesday #cyberpunk 2077 mods #kerytalk #god I am sorry this is a fucking essay but I had a lot to talk about I guess #one can do a lot in a week with nothing but the power of autistic hyperfocus and the love for one's OC blorbo ok

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ghostoffuturespast · 3 months

Text

A lil PSA from your neighborhood ghost...

If you're accessing Tumblr on desktop, there's probably a number of extensions or available tools out there to improve your experience here. The one I'm most familiar with is Xkit Rewritten. It's great and it's got a ton of useful features you can toggle on and off that can make your Tumblr-ing a more pleasant experience. And it's handy when I'm mass queuing things and sorting through my drafts.

But what about mobile?

Mostly boned. But not entirely.

For those of you who don't know there's a feature here called Tumblr Labs which is located under your Account -> Settings. They're unofficial experimental features. Not tested, might break, yee be warned.

It's a bit hard to find, because it's tucked waaaay down there, but it's got some cool things that I'd actually recommend. (The subscription and favs tabs I like quite a bit, but play around with stuff you think is interesting.) This site was pushing this feature for a while and I knew Tumblr Labs was a thing because of that, but I haven't seen them talk about it in a hot minute so if you're new here, you might not be aware this is even exists. Anyway, the main lab feature I want to talk about is-

Queue 2.0.

God, Queue 2.0 is so much better than the normal Queue.

I schedule and queue almost all of my posts. Now, obviously you can run your blog however you want, maybe you prefer to freestyle, but if you want some more flexibility with running and managing your queue, reblogging, and scheduling posts. This is it right here.

You can queue things exactly when you want to! At specific intervals any time you want! When you know people are going to be on and are more likely to see stuff! It's fantastic!

I'm really hoping they just implement this officially at some point because it's just so much better. They recently added the shuffle and pause button to 1.0 from 2.0, so I'm not sure what the hold up is. ??? Plus, with them giving up the ghost on tumblr live, anything's possible.

Unfortunately, you can't access Queue 2.0 from mobile versions of Tumblr, there's literally not an option to toggle it on. However, know that if you set it up on desktop, Queue 2.0 still operates across devices on your account. Meaning you can set it and forget it. The UI for 2.0 won't be available on mobile, but your queue will still post at whatever schedule you have set it up with in 2.0. At least that's been my experience with the different OS that I use, (windows and android), but results may vary. IDK.

Anyway, this was just a little FYI/PSA from me. So if you didn't know, now you do. 🧡👻

#tumblr #reference #tumblr labs #queue 2.0 #for all your queuing needs #maybe if we bug them enough they'll actually roll this feature out #send them feedback

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yourlocalstranger123 · 1 year

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Request is closed(dead)

✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

—EVENT—

!¡Masterlist!¡

RULES + info about me

NEW IMPORTANT RULE: PLEASE TELL ME IF UR A MINOR OR NOT IN YOUR REQUESTS, I DONT WANNA TRUAMATIZE ANOTHER ONE 😭 (bc either I forget to put all warnings/correct tags or put some smut or slightly sus pictures.) ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡

Edit: advanced apologies. I absolutely do not know how to lock my NSFW fics. And I might not have put specific warnings like, I put some bad words in it. I'm really sorry, I'll still try my best, tho.

Edit: Hello! Sorry if you found one of my posts, and it didn't have credit to the pictures. Sorry, sometimes I forgot while writing to put credit, and since every time I post, I delete the pictures. Storage problems 🥲

I'm so very, VERY shitty with my Grammer 💔

Please be very specific with your ask bc I'm a dumb little shi- I mean a bit...behind in my brain. Like what theme: angst, fluff, etc.

I prefer if you ask for part 2 in the requests and saying which writings, but doing in the comments is just fine.

I DO NOT PROOF-READ OR STUFF LIKE THAT. AM VERY SORRY 🥲

Draft limits: 10.

I usually make the reader doesn't have a gender/specific gender or just do both genders. I also like dom reader so ahem...so like yeah, if you wanna do like (???) x reader and you don't want a dom one then tell me :D

(Again, I do mostly dom reader but can do sub reader <3)

I do some stuff like yandere, obsession behavior, etc. But reminder: I do not support this in real life. Just in fiction. I hope you understand, I'm not like bad or anything 😅

I've seen some people who like a character but they are like younger than 18 and either they don't know it or they look older for their age. So I'll allow it as long as the character isn't too young, like under the 15's, and I'll gladly age them up for any reason, although in some cases , I might decline so I apologize for that.

What Fandom I do

I can do anyone or something. Oh, even manga/manwha/manhua

But the fandom I'm mostly familiar with is:

1. Genshin

2. Obey me

3. Honkai star rail

4. Hazbin hotel

5. Jujutsu kaisen

6. MHA (I'm not actively in it, but I still kinda know most stuff in it, and I'd still do any requests from it).

But again, I can do anything. Well, anything I'm able to do properly.

(Unless you ask me about a character that exists, but I don't know them. Might take a while BUT!! I'll still do it because you guys are my lovely requesters ♡)

What I do not allow

I honestly don't know yet. No one has requested anything I don't allow. (Except for my friends, but I forgot what they said so...)

Warning:

This is an like idk, a blog that has 18+ things. If you don't feel comfortable, I'm sorry. I have some fluff in here, but uh... yeah- anyway, my super close (and some what hºrny) friends have access to my account, so if there's a post about anything weird or something, I swear it's not me. (I hate to admit it, but they're scary, and if you're reading this, my friend, please stay from me. I have holy water, you demonic, spawn of Satan, and uhhhh scary chihuahua lookin thing. <3)

. . . Anyways I welcome you with open arms.

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thescarletwitchsapprentice · 2 years

Text

A Little Bug (Wanda Maximoff x autistic!ADHD!little sister!sick!reader)

*Not my GIF.

(CW: Diarrhea, vomiting, fluff with some reader suffering because I had to suffer throughout the entire night, A.I.s being somewhat savage, reader soils themselves because of stupid fucking diarrhea, non-sexual nudity implied)

Summary: You’re down with a stomach bug or food poisoning or something. But your big sister just so happens to be very delayed on a mission.

Author's Note: Yeah.....back in early June, I was down with either a stomach bug or I got food poisoning, so here's this. Also I might (probably will actually) make one for Tetyana, because she'll take any excuse she can get to take care of her loved ones.

This is also somewhat exaggerated from the hell I went through. Stomach bug and food poisoning symptoms are absolute hell.

I also decided to make F.R.I.D.A.Y. somewhat savage, mostly because I don’t really know her character, but also why tf not?

And for those of you wondering, yes! There will be a sequel to the Sweet Flower fic. I’ve actually already started the sequel draft. As for A Pure Soul, I have drafts started, but my mind feels all over the place.

You didn’t know that this was even possible.

Here you are, up at 2:30 am.

And not like how you’re usually up at 2:30 am where you could go to bed whenever you felt like it.

Instead, you’re up at 2:30 am on one of the toilets at the compound with a bin in your hand, not by choice or by the normal sleep troubles your ADHD and autism give you. No, instead things are coming out of both ends.

And not a single person is here to help.

Yep, the one time your big sister and the rest of her entire team were called on a mission and the return time was delayed, you ended up having tummy troubles.

Your butt feels like it’s on fire and your chest aches. Your eyes are watering and you feel like bursting out into cries of hysteria instead of the soft whimpers in-between your plights.

“Miss (Y/N), is everything alright?”

At least F.R.I.D.A.Y. sounds concerned.

You don’t respond in-between your vomiting and volcanic diarrhea. And crying, we can’t forget the near-crying. At this point, you’re just wishing you could simply.....pass. Just....not exist anymore. It’s absolute hell that you (possibly) wouldn’t wish upon even this Thanos guy you’ve heard about.

But finally, you end up finding a small respite to catch your breath and respond.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., what’s the estimated return time for the mission?”

“Approximately twenty hours and seventeen minutes. Would you like me to inform Mr. Stark of your malady?”

“N-no I--”

You try to respond, but more things end up coming up and going down.

“Would you like him to ask for someone to come care for you?” you faintly hear.

“No, I--”

You’re interrupted by your body once again, and F.R.I.D.A.Y. decides to take matters into her own hands.

==============================================

Stark’s currently doing some planning with some of the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents when he gets a notification on the headset he’s wearing.

“Mr. Stark, I would like to inform you--”

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., can you make this quick please? We’re in the middle of something.”

“Miss (Y/N) is currently actively and violently ill in her upper-compound bathroom.”

This makes Tony stop.

“Are things going up or coming down?”

“Both, Mr. Stark.”

“...Shit...” he mutters before excusing himself over to Wanda, who’s ended up dissociating a bit.

“Maximoff,” he tells her. “Hey, I dunno if you’re in the right headspace, but I’ve got some news about your sister.”

She perks up.

“Is she okay?” she asks urgently.

“She’s alive, if that’s what you mean,” he tells her. “But she’s got some kind of stomach bug or food poisoning or something.”

Immediately she stands up and rushes away. Tony catches up with her.

“Hey! Where are you--?!”

Wanda doesn’t respond. Tony grabs onto her cardigan and she quickly grabs his wrist, her eyes are flashing a deep scarlet.

“Let go, Stark,” she growls.

“Maximoff, we need you here on this mission. The whole team’s needed. We have medication for food poisoning and stomach bugs, I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

The two make direct eye contact and Wanda’s head tilts.

“Shit....”

Tony can’t blame her for being angry, he decides he needs to compromise.

“Okay, look. If things go according to plan, most of it is just going to be planning and then wrapping things up and seeing where it went wrong. Once we get the actual mission done, I’ll excuse you from the wrap-up. You can go back to the compound and take care of her. I’ll even have Bruce put the Quinjet on a cycle once you’re inside, so that it’ll get you back there and then get it back to us as quickly as possible.”

Wanda’s eyes don’t waver even in the slightest.

“And exactly what time can I be at the compound?” The accent’s deep in her tone.

“If everything goes according to plan, you should be able to shave off about 9 or 10 hours not counting travel time, so that should bring you to the compound at around noon or 1 pm.”

Wanda’s head slowly un-tilts but keeps her needle-sharp eyes fixed on Stark.

“If I get back there and it’s too late,” she keeps her voice low. “It’ll be her blood on your hands.”

She walks off, leaving Tony stunned for a brief moment before he relays what’s gone down back to F.R.I.D.A.Y.

“In the meantime, give (Y/N) some tips and supplies for rehydration and if things get severe, call 911.”

==================================================

Back at the compound, things have settled down a bit for you. You’ve been able to tolerate the ice chips F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s been able to provide for about half an hour, but now the chills have gotten to you and you’re absolutely dizzy. You’re spending most of your mental energy in making sure you don’t fall off of the toilet.

“Can’t I just have some Pepto-Bismol or something?” you croak hoarsely.

“Ejecting bodily fluids has a purpose to an extent, Miss (Y/N).”

“Yeah? And what purpose is that?”

“To ensure that any harmful bacteria and toxins that are disrupting the digestive tract are expelled so that this won’t happen again. Please wait until things have settled down a bit before proceeding with medication.”

You chuckle bitterly. “I bet it’s a real blast to be an A.I. when you’re looking at me.”

“I don’t take any joy in your pain, Miss (Y/N), but I admit that your current plight gives my system gratitude towards the fact that I don’t possess a digestive tract.”

“You really don’t have to rub it in, you kn--?”

Your quip is interrupted by your own digestive tract. The vomiting has mostly subsided, but it’s not gone. You eject practically all of the contents of your stomach into the bin, your eyes watering even more. Once you’ve ejected it all, you let out a trembling squeak of pain.

“.....I do know.”

“Oh shut up,” you sob, chills running through you before another waterfall appears from the lower end. You begin to feel light-headed, hot and cold at the same time.

“Please God or whatever’s out there,” you beg. “Just.....please end me....I...I would just like to....curl up into a ball and expire, please and thank you....”

You soon sense a break and you get up, quickly washing your hands before stumbling to the kitchen. You take small sips of water and suck on ice chips, hoping that’ll at least hold you for a while.

Another half-hour passes and you’re feeling the worst you’ve ever felt. Everything hurts and all you wanna do is just straight-up die. Suddenly you feel both nausea and pressure down below. You practically road-runner to the toilet, but there’s no time to pick up the bin. You just drop to the floor and lean over the toilet. As you vomit, you feel something coming out the other end, but you don’t even have the energy to feel embarrassed. All you can do is cry out of pain as everything seems to be too bright and too loud for you.

“SOMEBODY SEDATE ME!” you whimper loudly as you rock back in forth a bit.

“Sedation isn’t recommended for this condition,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. contributes.

Your anger boils over. “Can you just go five minutes without making stupid fucking quips?!”

“Setting timer for five minutes.”

Your eye twitches.

“If dehydration doesn’t end me,” you think. “I’m pretty sure that F.R.I.D.A.Y. will.”

You quickly take off your underwear and run it under the shower to wash out whatever muck your body ejected along with the rug. All you want is for an actual person to take care of you, coddle you, just....not make these stupid fucking quips like F.R.I.D.A.Y. is.

After washing it out and washing your hands, you stumble along back to the kitchen, grab your bowl of ice chips, and lie down on the floor in your robe like a starfish. You don’t even have the energy to go back to your room. All you can do is stare at the ceiling, hoping that you can just....dissociate from existence. For good.

“....I...I give up,” you exclaim, completely exhausted. “I’m weak and I need someone to baby me....F.R.I.D.A.Y., please tell me if someone will be coming back soon.”

You expect her to just make another stupid quip, and you’re wondering why you even bothered to ask--

“Mr. Stark informed me that Miss Maximoff will be back at around noon to 1 pm.”

Wait. What?!

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., what’s the time now?”

“It is currently 3:37 am.”

Hearing this, you practically weep in relief. You don’t even care that you have to wait nearly 9 or 10 hours for your big sister to take care of you. Just the fact that she’ll be back sooner than expected is enough to give you a small amount of strength.

“I can do this....I have to....” you think. “For my big sister....”

==============================================

Another hour passes with only one or two more sessions of vomiting. It mostly becomes just diarrhea. You manage to gather enough energy to grab a towel and lay it down on your bed before lugging yourself onto it.

You slowly see the light of day flood in, not even being able to get a wink of sleep. F.R.I.D.A.Y. gives you time updates as the diarrhea becomes less and less frequent. You’re able to hold down sips of water for a bit longer and decide to pass the time by watching Bewitched, wanting to save The Dick Van Dyke Show for when your big sister comes back.

At around 7 am, exhaustion kicks in and you turn the volume down a bit on Bewitched. Your eyes begin to flutter and before you know it, you drift off.

=========================================

You wake up to someone gently petting your head. Opening your eyes, you see none other than your big sister Wanda. You smile weakly, wanting to burst into tears of joy. As soon as Wanda sees you, she smiles too.

“Hey there, sleepyhead,” she soothes.

It’s angelic to hear her voice.

“How are you feeling?” she asks.

“Better now that you’re here,” you answer weakly. “How were you able to get back early?”

“Stark can be easily intimidated by the right person,” she answers before reaching over for your nightstand. She grabs a bottle of pink liquid and a small cup. It takes you a bit, but soon you recognize the color.

“Is...is that...?”

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. says that you’re likely ready to take Pepto-Bismol,” Wanda tells you as she pours out the proper amount.

You try to sit up, but it’s a bit difficult by yourself. Wanda helps you up and gives it to you. The taste of soft mint hits your tongue before you swallow it.

“I thought Pepto-Bismol was supposed to taste like cherry,” you remark.

“It comes in different flavors.”

After letting it settle for a bit, Wanda gives you a glass of water.

“Small sips, little sister,” she tells you as you begin to drink it.

Your heart drops when you hear this.

“But.....but....”

You’re so thirsty. You’re tempted to just gulp the entire glass down and she can tell. You whimper a bit and she pets your head some more.

“I know, little sister,” she soothes. “I know it’s hard. But you need to let your stomach settle. Once you can hold down water and ice chips, I can give you some ginger ale and some other beverages to try, and then eventually you can try fruit pops. And once your stomach is able to hold that, I’ll make you some rice.”

You smile as you think of the rice and fruit pops. At this point, some variety would be nice. Anything that’s not water and ice chips would be nice. You take the small sips every few minutes or so and your stomach eventually settles.

Later on you decide to take a bath, after Wanda’s cleaned the tub out, of course. (You told her about what happened with the rug and underwear and she understood) The warm water feels nice after the hell you went through last night. You do have one incident of diarrhea a couple hours after the first dose of Pepto-Bismol, but Wanda gives you another one. You manage to hold down some ginger ale and you’re able to tolerate a fruit pop. For dinner, some rice with salt and then a banana with some salt to replace some of the lost electrolytes in your body.

After dinner, you and Wanda lay in your bed watching The Dick Van Dyke Show. After that, you change into fresh PJs as the rest of the team returns. As you climbs into bed, Wanda cuddles up close to you, also in fresh pajamas. You look at her anxiously.

“Umm.....I think stomach bugs and food poisoning are contagious,” you warn.

She smiles and shuts her eyes,

“It’s worth it for my sweet little sister.”

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff fluff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff platonic #wanda maximoff x little sister!reader #sick fic #wanda maximoff sick fic #autistic reader #marvel fluff #avengers fluff #marvel #avengers

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bringmemyrocks · 27 days

Note

5 14 34 38 😁

Behold the url.

Thank you for the questions! Referencing this post: https://www.tumblr.com/archivoasks/708814564281794560/questions-i-think-would-be-fun-to-be-asked

5. what made you start your blog? I initially came to tumblr to talk about Judaism and my own spiritual development as I left orthodoxy mentally and physically. (there was a post I made about kosher catering earlier in 2023 that set off a mini firestorm--BH for the ability to turn off reblogs.) Now I mostly talk about Palestine and anti-Zionism. Per my pinned post, this stuff hits very close to home for me.

But ultimately I made this page to talk about Jewish religion and philosophy, and my Elmer Berger posting will continue.

14. what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do? I want to re-approach mentors and professors that I've lost touch with. Not because I want a recommendation, but because I value their insight. Maybe I'll draft some emails next time I have free time (laughs sadly)

34. Any pet peeves? People not picking up after their dogs. Like straight up let their dogs poop in the middle of the sidewalk on a major thoroughfare and have no follow-up. These aren't stray dogs (not a big phenomenon where I live); these are people's pets!

38. fave song at the moment?

This one by Bashar Murad (his website here: https://www.basharmurad.com/about) I recommend watching the video and not just listening--you can turn on English subtitles. Also it's very very catchy.

youtube

also by the same artist, his Arabic cover of "I Wish (I Knew How It Would Feel To Be Free)"

youtube

I mostly listen to music from the 1960s or choral music, so I forget that music videos exist (raised without technology, so it goes). These ones are neat especially.

#anti-democratic-russian-bot #ask #i

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sevens-evan · 5 months

Note

Would love your director's commentary on the Ruby and Blake locker scene in Twilight AU -- particularly why you wanted to use Ruby to triangulate the bees in that moment, the ways Ruby maybe fails her intended mission but doesn't push, and how Blake's psyche filters all of that.

this is more or less a deep cut for me since i forget literally everything the second i post it SDLKJHG but i dug out the outlines and reread the scene and i will do my best. actually here is the paragraph of my outlines pertaining to that scene:

scene where ruby tells blake to be kind to yang. happens in the hall at school, by blake’s locker. blake asks if ruby is going to threaten her, and ruby is of course like no absolutely not. i don’t want to do that, yang wouldn’t want me to do that, and i wouldn’t hurt you anyway as you well know. blake does know. ruby just says that yang is lonely. she has been lonely for a very long time. she was before they were turned, she has been since she transitioned. part of it is the nature of their existence, and part of it is just who yang is. but she’s been better lately, since blake showed up, and ruby would just…like her to keep getting better. ruby says she knows that’s a lot to put on blake, and of course blake isn’t Responsible for it all. ruby just mostly wanted to say that she really likes having blake around, and she knows yang likes it more than she’ll admit—at least to ruby—and she figured blake should know.

so here there is obviously some stuff that did not make it explicitly into the scene but informed my writing of it. "ruby tells blake to be kind to yang" is not dialogue that actually occurs in the fic, but is very much ruby's intention in the conversation—to make sure blake understands the gravity of yang's feelings for her and basically just ask her to be gentle. ruby is the one having this conversation because yang is not in a place in this fic at this point to ask for what she needs herself.

and i just wanted to have a scene stressing the importance of ruby and yang's relationship, and since this fic was pretty tightly planned, and because it felt like true twilight fashion, it made sense to have that scene be bees related in some fashion. since ruby was basically the only person yang had for fifty years, i liked the idea of ruby trying to take care of yang in this arena.

in terms of why ruby leaves things confused, with blake thinking that she has been handed responsibility of yang's happiness in its entirety, behind the scenes it's because ruby doesn't fully understand the significance of yang's eyes. she also doesn't fully understand that, to blake, Everything In The Universe Is Blake's Fault Forever, and that blake is therefore going to spiral about this later.

some of the dialogue mentioned in the outline got assigned to blake instead of ruby in the final draft; that happens all the time because my outlines are usually more melodramatic and about getting the Feeling of the dialogue across than anything. figuring out what actually flows in a scene happens later.

another interesting note is that i open the outline with the setting, which is Not typical of me but is maybe typical of this fic? since it's based on the first twilight movie, which, for whatever else you might say about it, has a very strong sense of place with the trees and the rain and the green-blue coloring. i wrote this fic in general with a lot more attention to that sort of thing than i usually do (as you may notice that all of milf blake au occurs in murkily described apartments and nondescript parks and whatnot). unrelated to your line of questions but i think it's neat.

i honestly don't remember too much else (and some of this is me speculating on past me's intentions) but i hope this was interesting! twilight au my beloved i miss milf vampire raven every day

#twilight au #professorspork #answered #thank you for the ask!#if anyone else has scenes or even just plot points writing decisions whatever they'd like to hear about it shoot me an ask!#i will happily talk about slay-va au as well i know u guys are out there suffering through the drought at the moment

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fearowkenya · 5 months

Text

Winds of Change

Chapter 4: Stemming the Tide

It’s hard to hold onto hope when panic and fear take root and start to spread, climbing the notches of his spine and weaving back and forth between his ribs. But Ryo knows now, that hope and fear can both exist at once—he’s seen it for himself.

The group witnesses something that looks a lot like a miracle, but it's still not enough to chase away everybody's fears. Ryo and Shuuji each find themselves with separate demons to battle as they resist the pull of despair.

ao3 link in source, extended end-of-chapter author's note below!

editing this chapter took WAY longer than usual. I do two proofreads per chapter before i post, and if i edit more than a couple of sentences at any point, i start the entire proofread over. needless to say, i did a LOT of editing and rereading before finally making it to my posting checklist. ultimately though im pretty happy with it. mostly im just so glad to have finally posted the scene that was jokingly titled "labramon the egg wizard" so i could talk about how much I enjoy the title "labramon the egg wizard". jokes that are for me

anyway, "labramon the egg wizard" is one of the first parts of this fic that i wrote! there's a skeletal outline of the events in that section in my replay notes, though a lot about that scene has changed since then. it was always going to be labramon who was gonna help out though! why labramon..? … … well she's a dog , and it made me go 'heheh' to think of her doing pointer behaviors. no other reason (:

i know we get renamon egg in moral, but i don't actually remember much of what that looked like because it lasted like 2 seconds. thats absolutely NOT what i wanted for shuuji - i wanted it to be a scene that completely bodies him, where hes got this unexpected second chance hovering just beyond his reach, but he has to confront exactly what he's done in order to get it. i dont remember a lot of 02, but that one episode where ken goes looking for wormmons egg has this very specific vibe where its like, "here's some hope for you when youre at your lowest but never forget that you seriously fucked it up". it was brutal but beautiful and then i cried a bunch i think. idk it was a long time ago. maybe im completely misremembering that scene, who can say. thats how it lives in my memories tho

in any case, i definitely wanted it to be from ryo's perspective for the same reason that the aftermath of wendimon was from his pov. he's so much more observant than shuuji, who would not take notice of what the others are doing and saying while he's in the middle of getting pingponged between hope and gut-wrenching remorse.

the middle section, titled in the draft as "mcfreakin losin it", was a lot of fun too! the Plan(tm) at the beginning was something i edited in pretty late in proofreading. having an itemized list like that might feel more like a "shuuji thing" than a "ryo thing", but i think ryo's active effort to take responsibility and try to help kunemon with what hes stressed about would lend to him trying to come up with something a little more concrete. unfortunately for ryo, he has no backup plan for when the first one is turned upside down, and we all know what happens when something catches him off guard lmao. it was actually really interesting to write ryo in a position where he's witnessing more or less what he himself is like when he shuts down. being the one who has to snap shuuji out of this state has ryo realizing that this is what takuma and kunemon have to deal with when he's the one freaking out. i think that's kinda fun.

the last section has what feels to me like the most editing. it really wasn't a section that i spent a lot of time fiddling with until now because the bulk of it was quoting or paraphrasing existing dialogue from the start of part 6 for context, then diverging into what that scene looks like in a world where lopmon isn't around to be unable to explain what happened. like i said on ao3, as i was reading over the canon dialogue in truthful for reference, i realized i really just…didn't like it much. the argument escalates and de-escalates several times but never to a degree that feels all that extreme, and ends up feeling like it's just dragging out for no reason. people make their points at times that feel WEIRD, particularly ryo. lemme see if i can explain this.

so ryo doesnt say this til the latter half of this argument, and i HATED THAT because it's like… after everything he's been through with kunemon, it doesn't feel right that he's having those doubts. but i thought about it and i actually think it makes sense for him to have a momentary lapse where he slips back into old habits - letting fear take over and pushing away anything and anyone that has even the slightest chance of hurting him. he spent a LOT of time in that mindset, and even though he's working on reversing it, it's not gonna happen in a day. that said… the placement of ryo's doubts in the canon dialogue still feels super weird. i think it makes a lot more sense for him to panic at the very beginning of this argument, and then calm down as he remembers how solid his bond with kunemon is before sticking up for the digimon a little more aggressively. it just feels so passive in-canon when i think he would have taken a much more active role in defending falcomon and the others once 1) he remembers the context surrounding what happened in the waterway, and 2) he's reminded of how kunemon has helped him change.

i know some of the weird pacing of this dialogue is because the player needs to have input at some point, but i think takuma could've been much more powerless during this argument - the game has no problem taking away agency, since saving ryo is the only thing that will save shuuji, no matter what the player does. maybe im nitpicking, idk.

regardless, minoru's dialogue makes the most sense, but i still think it could have been condensed into a much sharper and more sudden escalation. it keeps being like "(minoru voice) IM MAD IM MAD" "(takuma voice) chill" "(minoru voice) oops sorry. … … … IM MAD IM MAD IM MAD" "(takuma voice) calm down" "(minoru voice) oops. … … … IM MAD IM MAD" etc etc etc. it just made the argument feel weak and drawn-out instead of intense and explosive.

i did keep some of it though! i thought that minoru's paranoia and sudden fear of trusting his partner was pretty compelling, which is why i kept those doubts in and quoted the lines about him wanting falcomon to prove his loyalty.

i chose those lines specifically because they say a LOT about minoru once you connect this argument with what i think is the root of his insecurities - his parents' divorce.

it's funny because as far as im aware, The Divorce doesn't even come up unless you choose an INCORRECT ANSWER in an OPTIONAL affinity event with minoru. im not 100% sure thats the only mention though! im currently at pt8 of my replay where the goal is to see every bit of truthful route dialogue possible. if it comes up in other routes, i managed to miss it lmao. anyway, because of that, for the longest time i thought The Divorce was just a popular headcanon, and didn't actually see that dialogue until recently. but as soon as i did i started looking at the stuff he does and says through the lens of somebody who was affected extremely poorly by his parents divorce, and it contextualized A LOT for me. suddenly the way he reacts in pt 6 makes so much sense, because imo falcomon turning around and killing him isn't his only concern: he's also terrified that he was vulnerable in front of someone who doesn't actually care.

pre-game minoru lacks a support system, and is afraid to rely on a new one. im not going to go on about it for too long because we'd be here all day, but im pretty sure that his parents divorce was MESSY, and he witnessed all of it. that same event where he mentions to takuma that his parents are divorced is also when he says that he doesn't think his mom has noticed that he's missing, even though at this point the kids believe that they've been gone for several days. he doesn't see his mother as support because she's too busy working, and since he doesn't even know where his father currently lives, clearly he doesnt get much if any support from his dad. the difficulty minoru has in shedding the goofy exterior and being genuine and vulnerable in front of people makes me think that he never found a support system to replace the one that he watched crumble in realtime when his parents split.

prior to part 6, we can assume that minoru started to see falcomon as someone that he could allow to see his insecurities. i also believe that minoru understood that shuuji and lopmon's relationship was supposed to look a lot like his and falcomon's, or like anybody else and their partner's. minoru could see lopmon trying to be supportive, so the dysfunction only seemed like it was on shuuji's end. so when lopmon flies off the handle and tries to murder shuuji, one of the things that minoru gets from it is that, no, actually, the trust and support that the digimon have for their partners is NOT unconditional. i think that watching this happen looks exactly like how it felt when the support system he'd had in his parents completely fell apart, except the lopmon situation comes with a fun extra "I'm going to kill you" sort of vibe that tells minoru that his relationship with falcomon is just not safe.

or worse, maybe that support system was never real in the first place. what if there was something darker beneath the surface that he just couldn't see?

anyway.

now, as dracmon says, all we gotta do is hurry up and wait. well. you do. i dont, im gonna be editing chapter 5 til the cows come home. im getting the distinct impression that it's gonna require even more reworking than this chapter did.

but that's neither here nor there - id love to hear your Gamer Theories about what im cooking up. there are a few things that are still going unaddressed after four chapters, and i wonder how much of it can be puzzled out based on what i've said so far. obviously im not able to see the story from a reader's perspective, so im not really able to gauge if the stuff that's being foreshadowed or otherwise implied is starting to become clearer. so please consider leaving a comment with what you think, or your favorite part or anything else that stood out to you! I'd much appreciate it. thank you for reading, and see you… mm… nnnnext…week…? ideally.

#digimon #digimon survive #kayama shuuji #shuuji kayama #tominaga ryo #ryo tominaga #kunemon

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i-can-even-burn-salad · 11 months

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This or That tag

I was tagged by @silvertalonwritblr - this looks fun :D

Historical or Futuristic

I don't write in our world settings, but I stick more to historical-ish vibes in mine. Like, I'll take a castle over a spaceship :D

Opening or Closing Chapter

Gonna go with the closing chapter. There's something so satisfying about it - especially when writing in order.

Light and Fluffy or Dark and Gritty

Nope. No. This one I won't pick. That's my whole issue I keep whining to my friends about. I want dark shit, but I want a fluffy ending, and I can barely find it, and I am losing readers on either end of it, and I'm gonna cry.

Animal Companion or Found Family

I'll be honest, I have one (1) char with an animal (not a special one) and I am already annoyed because I keep forgetting the dog exists. Nah, gonna stick to found family here. I can leave them outside the door without getting accused of animal abuse.

Horror or Romance

Isn't that the same? /s

I guess if I HAD to - romance. Because I am easily scared. But the thought of a pure romance without any fantasy elements (and let's be honest, without a disproportionate amount of blood) is not very exciting.

Now the romantic subplot between angst, drama and the world ending? Gimme gimme.

Hard Magic System or Soft Magic System

Soft magic system, mostly because I am so over worldbuilding, and I just cram in whatever I need in the moment. Oh, I need a healer who can't control his magic? Done, because I said so. Next!

Stand-alone or Series

I love stand-alones that tie together. In the same world, perhaps with recurring chars, either in a major or minor role, but each story stands on its own.

That kinda solves the problem of barely finding the motivation to read one (1) book without subscribing to a series, but also having more if I love it.

So I try to write what I love as reader.

One Project at a Time or Always Juggling 2+

I guess I have one main project, usually, but that doesn't mean there's not several others in different stages lurking in the background.

One Award Winner or One Best Seller

Ok, honestly, looking at what I write, what award should I win LOL

Also, I like money, and there's a selling in best seller.

Now for that I would have to sell instead of just uploading the files for free, but uh, let's not look into the details, let's move on...

Fantasy or Sci-Fi

Fantasy all the way. Not only do I love it, and always have, Sci-Fi also has a too high chance of coming across tropes I, uh, let's say, dislike.

Character Description or Setting Description

I guess setting, because I don't know how to describe characters. Most lists of "words you can use! :)" make me wanna cry. He has a... face. A human face. And hair. Let's move on.

For the setting, I can at least sneak little details in, and sometimes people get distracted and don't notice I have no idea what I am talking about.

First Draft or Final Draft

First draft here, because getting that done is an amazing feeling - editing, not so much. Especially because I never feel like I have a real, final, never gonna touch again draft. There's always... something.

Also, since I ignore all the advice about not editing while drafting, my first drafts aren't that bad. I rarely change content, just fix the prose.

(Do you know how many "again" fit in a manuscript? Many.)

Aaaand I'm gonna tag @starlit-hopes-and-dreams @winterandwords @serotoninshift @poetinprose @whump-me (no pressure, and ignore the ones that don't apply <3)

#salad-tag #I guess even a bestseller can't feed someone today #but buy a little treat

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speedytherandom · 4 months

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20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @satans-poptarts

1. how many works do you have on Ao3? 24

2. what's your total Ao3 word count? 41,008

3. what fandoms do you write for? Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Heroes of Olympus, The Kane Chronicles, Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard, and The Trials of Apollo-- mostly. I have also written singular fanfics for a couple of other unrelated fandoms.

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

Keeping Up A Shrine (Sadie Kane character study, basically)

Just Some Saturday in September (Valgrace domestic fluff)

A Harry Potter fic I’d rather just forget about.

The Unfortunate Issue With Having Cooler, Older, and Hotter Siblings (Owl House-- Amity thinks Luz likes one of the twin)

The Flour Fiasco (Ruegard fluff fic)

5. do you respond to comments? Almost always!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably Bone by Bone (PJO, everybody dies) because that’s just straight up the angstiest fic I’ve ever written in general.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Honestly? I have no idea. Most of my fics have relatively happy endings. I’m gonna say... Lasting Moment (Pipabeth, alternate universe) because it’s the one that is the most happy at the end compared to the beginning.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I haven't yet and I’m really happy about that!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I haven’t yet but idk, maybe someday when I feel more confident with my abilities.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I don’t write crossovers. I don’t have any good reason, I simply haven’t.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have not but if I’m ever bored enough and have the inspiration I could translate perhaps a drabble or two into German or Portuguese.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really. Like, I started one with my friend but it is not finished. Lemme just say, very difficult to co-write fanfic.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Based on ones I’ve written I’d say Pipabeth as I enjoy writing them but honestly? Despite writing a majority ship-based stories and really enjoying them, I’m not a huge shipper in general. I’m rather neutral on ships for the most part.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have no published WIPs, mostly because I need to have the fic at least 75% of the way done to even consider publishing it, but I’ve had stuff in my drafts forever. I’ve got the one where the PJO kids are doing Spamalot, the Piper Friendship Fic, the Valgrace College AU, the one where Piper is just jealous of Percy, the Fierrochase beach fic. And more. So, so many more, so if you’re interested...

16. What are your writing strengths?

No clue. Does being really happy with most first drafts count?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Commitment. I usually have larger ideas than I know how to portray and I tend to rush the ideas that I have which is why most of my fics are pretty short.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

With the languages I speak I haven't done this in a fic yet, but if the opportunity ever arose I’d be very excited. Plus, I have done lines of dialogue in Portuguese for an original short story (unpublished).

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Oh. Ew. Harry Potter :( It doesn’t exist anymore nor do I know what it was about but I can guarantee you it was the first.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I’m not really sure. I don’t really remember how much I like things I’ve written. I’m just gonna suggest some I really like and haven’t mentioned instead of one favorite: Wedding Dances (Sadie/Lacy future fic), Red Means Power (Heathers fanfic), and The Worst Possible Time And Place (Rachabeth as superheroes).

I’m not sure who writes fic that hasn’t been tagged already. If you do... this is fun!

#fanfic

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