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rays-of-fire-and-ice · 9 months

Note

So I was reading petrichor and this line really got me: "It occurs to her that if she didn’t know him, she’d likely be slightly terrified of him after seeing that." I was wondering if you're doing requests, could I please request a fic where Hinamori is a little afraid of Hitsugaya's powers or him? I guess I just love angst, but feel free to make it fluffy too. Thank you and happy blog anniversary!

In the Shadow of the Ice

Rating: K+ / General with mentions of violence and a bit of course language.

Setting: During the battle of Gerard vs Byakuya and Hitsugaya

Synopsis: After witnessing Toshiro’s new powers, Momo experiences an emotion she never expected to feel towards her childhood friend.

AN: this was such an interesting concept to write about. Admittedly, I put them in a stressful situation, so maybe some of the fear came from that, but still!

The barrier Momo casts is this unnamed kido, I thought it looked neat and decided to include it here.

Hope you enjoy it, anon!

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Momo’s heart pounds in her ears. Gerard has gotten too close. Thankfully, his focus is on Senbonzakura’s petals that lash out various attacks upon him, but this is also causing him to move in their direction. he crushes buildings and debris in his wake.

Willing herself to look away from the looming threat, Momo focuses on her captain and pulls him up by the arm. “Captain, wake up!” she yells. “We have to move!”

Shinji mumbles, only half conscious. His eyes barely open to look at her and winces. Her kido hasn’t enough to have healed his head injury. She quickly loops one of his arms over her shoulders, almost losing her footing from how quickly she stands up..

“We’re getting away from here,” she says. “We need to get away before whatever that is gets here.”

Shinji lists his head in the direction of the giant Quincy, she too looks over as she begins to lead them away.

Senbonzakura continues to attack the Quincy as a figure sores into the air high above them. Momo swallows thickly at seeing Toshiro. His reiatsu engulfs most of the area, cold and piercing, unlike anything she has ever sensed before. He unleashes a wave of ice, but it misses the giant’s arm and gets plastered across a growing pile of debris. He arcs high and lands on a building with his back to her.

He’d been too far for her to see before now, but being a closer confirms he looks different. The wings and appearance of Hyourinmaru’s bankai had been an obvious change, but she can’t understand how he’s taller. She forces down the emotions that come and doesn’t put labels to them. She can ask him questions later, when all of this fighting of over and they’e rescued those trapped under the debris. Because they will all make it, she doesn’t dare think of the alternative.

She still can’t make out her friend’s face, but she wonders if he has sensed her and Shinji nearby.

In front of Toshiro, Gerard shuffles away from a sudden strike by Senbonzakura and closer to them, one of his feet completely flattening a building and crushing another in half. The resulting debris goes flying everywhere, with large chunks breaking through surrounding structures.

Momo lets out a staggered breath at the destruction. She clutches her captain’s arm tighter and tries to move faster. In less dire circumstances, she could flash-step while carrying him, but her own injuries impeded her and muscle fatigue is starting to set in. She can’t keep the rising worry out of her voice as she says, “Come on, Captain. We’ll end up getting caught in this.”

He tries to put a foot forward, but he slips, sending them both to the ground. He mumbles out a curse and an apology, but Momo doesn’t hear it over the destruction. She tries to focus on helping her captain up and not on the shadow that’s fallen over them and surrounding area. They’re within range of an attack. They can’t escape him now.

New plan, Momo decides. She settles her captain down against a piece of debris, trying to be gentle but ending up hurried. She ignores his string of curses and his attempt to clutch his head, instead straightening up and throwing her hands up in front of her. Most of her view of the sky is obstructed by Gerard. She can’t ignore her racing heart or the cold panic that runs up her spine. Hastily, she chants out the highest barrier kido she can cast. After the last phrase of the incantation, an iridescent dome forms over her and Shinji. It’s the strongest barrier she can conjure up, and suitable for the worst case scenario where they’re buried under debris; if nothing else, they’d have to wait until someone found them.

She attempts to control her breathing, but when the giant twists in her direction, she can only gasp. Without thinking, she looks to Toshiro. He’s looking at her. She can’t make out his features, but his posture is tense.

Behind him, a hand is sweeping towards him.

“Look out!” she screams.

Toshiro barely turns in time to see what is coming for him. He flings himself away and slashes Hyourinmaru in the air, sending a cascade of ice that encases most of Gerard’s arm and freezing it to the building he’d just been standing on. The giant lets out a roar as he tries to free his limb, and it shakes the area all around them, making smaller bits of debris vibrate and tumble down accumulating piles. Some of it hits up against the barrier, sending ripples through the surface, but it remains stable. Senbonzakura cuts the Quincy off, slashing and digging into the side of his head. Gerard bats the petals away with his free hand, scattering them in all directions.

So caught up in watching the fight, Momo yelps when Toshiro lands on the other side of the barrier in front of her and Shinji.

“You need to move!”

She doesn’t have time to be shocked by the change in his voice – however slight it is – or the fact he’s suddenly a grown adult. Being in his presence freezes her, causes her fingertips to go cold and her whole body to shiver.

“W-We can’t,” she stutters out. “C-Captain Hirako i-is…” Knowing she can’t get the words out quick enough, she gestures to Shinji.

Toshiro’s gaze flashes to his fellow captain, and he cringes. “Damn it.”

There’s another thunderous roar, causing Momo and Toshiro to look back to the battle. All the air leaves Momo as the Gerard’s hand sweeps down to the buildings in front of them. They’re destroyed one by one in seconds. Her whole vision is filled with a cascade of falling debris, coming towards her and casting darker shadows over everything. Her hearing is deafened up the sounds of small pieces bouncing off the barrier and the crushing of the debris about to fall on her.

Yet somehow, despite how fast it’s all happening, she thinks of Toshiro, in harm’s way.

Without a second thought she lungs to him, intending to pull him into the barrier. The moment her hands come out of the barrier and are centimetres from grabbing the back of his uniform, they burn. She barely registers the ice forming and crawling up her fingertips as she loses her footing. She screams, but she’s not sure if it’s from the burning cold or that Toshiro is about to be crushed.

“SHIRO!”

And then it all stops.

As Momo topples, her widened eyes take in everything. One second, the debris is falling, and the next, it’s all stopped midair.

Her arms land outside of the barrier but the rest of her remaining within. Her palms smack hard against the now frozen ground. She gasps at the cold. “H-How…?”

She whips her head back up, and time stills. No, she hadn’t been seeing things. All of the debris is frozen in ice. In her peripheral, every piece and chunk has been entrapped by the ice, and formed what looked like a massive wave frozen in time. Most of the ground remains untouched, expect for a jagged circle of it around Toshiro. Thankfully it hadn’t gotten inside of or on the barrier; she doesn’t think to question why that is, too shocked by what just happened.

A crunching footstep makes her shift her gaze back to Toshiro. He’d had his hand raised, but he now brings it back to his side. Hyourinmaru thrums with power, and if she weren’t already on her knees, she’s certain the way his reiatsu flares would make her double over under its pressure. She’s on verge of breaking out in a sweat, trying to keep herself raised.

“Hinamori!” Toshiro crouches and starts to reach for her, but stops himself. He winces, regret briefly flashing through his eyes before concern returns. “Are you all right?”

She manages a stiff nod, because as the shock starts to wear off, it finally hits her. He had done this. He’d frozen falling debris into a towering wall of jagged ice with a wave of his hand. He’d been standing there as the wreckage and destruction fell towards them, knowing he could stop it all.

Her awe is outdone by something she never expected to feel towards him. It grips her in a tight hold, causing her heart race again and tremors to break out across her limbs. She keeps her still widened eyes on him and tries to speak, but only stammers come out.

His wings arc around and over the barrier, protective. “What’s going on?”

Something about the action briefly reminds her of the Toshiro it knows. “Y-Your reia-atsu!”

His expression twists for a second, then he looks to the ground. “I’m not flaring it.”

This is his normal reiatsu now? When had it changed this much? No, it must the creeping exhaustion, it’s wearing her down to the point his reiatsu is affecting her. But what if that isn’t it? How can he be this powerful? What is this power? When had he acquired it? Why is he an adult?

“Hinamori, snap out of it!”

The order makes her flinch. She’s struggling to regain her breath and she can only stare at him. What she feels towards him in this moment has taken over her, and it horrifies her.

“What’re you…?” He glances down at her hands and does a double take. “When did you touch me?”

She’d completely forgotten about the ice encasing her fingers. Now the cold returns, dangerously close to piercing her to the bone. “I-I didn’t.”

His leans forward. “Let me see --”

On a reflex, draws her hands back into the barrier and she pushes herself away, clutching her them to her chest. Clutching them, some of the ice breaks off and falls away. She didn’t realise she’d half turned from him until his frown vanishes, but doesn’t move to change her posture. She wants to say this is all because of the intense cold emanating off of him, but it’s not.

“I was reaching for you,” she says, her voice almost sounding meek. “You were focused on the debris, you didn’t see.” Behind him, the wave looms over them. He’d created it with a wave of his hand. She shakes her head. “How is any of this possible?”

Something breaks in him, causing his eyes to widen and a strangled sound to escape him. His lips are parted, but nothing else comes out. He’s completely still, even the rise and fall of shoulders and chest ceases. Momo can’t register what he’s feeling, too caught up in trying to understand her own.

It’s as he’s frozen along with the wave. His gaze eventually falls to Hyourinmaru, hiding his eyes under his fringe. Something about the movement is vulnerable, and she wants to say something, but nothing comes to mind. “Hitsugaya-kun…”

His grip on his zanpakuto suddenly tightens, and he sweeps his head back up. Gone is the vivid emotions from before, and in it’s place he puts on the air he uses for training new recruits. “I’ll explain later. Protect Hirako, and when he’s ready, you need to get as far away from here as you can.”

Without another word, Toshiro stands. Some of the ice on the ground cracks when he kicks off with a powerful flap of his wings. Something about that tugs on Momo’s mind, but she ignores is as watches Toshiro soar through the sky and back into the fight, effortlessly dodging the Quincy’s attacks and conjuring ice in a blink of an eye. This attack is more vicious than any of the others, the ice coming out as more of a stab than a wave. It pierces Gerard and forces him away from the area. His shadow disappears over her and Shinji.

The ground shakes around her, helping her come out of her shock. Toshiro and Byakuya are forcing the enemy away, she can resume healing her captain and then getting him to safety.

She brushes and shakes the ice off her finger tips. The fragments fall into her lap and melt into her uniform. She curls her fingers several times, trying to rid the stiffness and chill from them.

Keeping the barrier up, she casts a healing kido over the last of Shinji’s injuries. He’s awake still, and more conscious than before.

“Who the fuck was that?” he mumbles.

Her voice is caught in her throat, but she forces out, “T-That was Captain Hitsugaya, sir.”

Shinji’s frown deepens. “Shit…when did his reiatsu get that big?”

If he had been more aware and awake at the time, she wonders how he’d have reacted to seeing Toshiro in this adult form and with these powers. Would he have been as shocked as her? Would he have been fearful too?

That fear lingers as she glances over her shoulder at the frozen wall of debris. Even when she was still recovering in Twelfth Division after he had been tricked into stabbing her, she was never been anywhere near this fearful of him.

She continues to stew on it as she heals her captain, then as she brings the barrier down, and as they stand to move off and find somewhere safe.

With Shinji more conscious, she gets her answer to at least one of the questions she had from before.

“How the hell did he do that?!” Shinji half yells, widened eyes taking in the frozen towering wall of debris. His gaze sweeps down the wave, then lands on the battle happening the far-off distance when multiple sheets of ice conjure up in thin air and strike Gerard. “What kind of power is that?” He looks to her. “Did you know about this?”

She shakes her head.

That makes Shinji raise a brow. “Thought he’d tell you of all people."

Maybe that’s what scares her more than the powers themselves. She knew he was training in caves somewhere in the Soul Society, but she never really asked about his progress. If this was the result of his training, how had he kept something so powerful under wraps?

“Hitsu – Captain Hitsugaya rarely speaks to anyone about his training,” she explains. “I imagine Rangiku-san knew about this though.”

“Yeah, she’d have to.”

Shinji steps over a particularly large piece of debris. Momo tries to do the same, but ends up losing her footing. Shinji is quick to grab her by the arms, steadying her. He grimaces as he helps her right herself up.

“I-I’m sorry, Captain,” she says.

He releases her and grips his right side. It’s an internal injury, one that Momo can’t fully heal.

“Just stay focused,” he advises. “It’s a lot, I know, but we can’t get hung up on the small things…Well in this case, it’s not a small thing, but you get the idea.” He jerks his chin in the direction of where there’s still whole buildings and structures. “You can ask him about it later. Pretty sure we’d all be curious about how he came to be like this. Now come on.”

She nods and takes the lead. “Yes, of course, sir.”

They walk on in silence, but Momo wishes they were still talking. She tries to put it all aside, to focus on finding somewhere safe for her and Shinji, but it continuous to circle around and around in her mind.

The fact he could simply freeze anything he wanted to with a wave of his hand is frightening even of itself, but it’s not the only thing that makes her fearful. Combining them with a situation as dire as falling debris that seemingly couldn’t be stopped, in a form she has never seen him in and the fact she never knew he was capable of wielding such powers, it put a leaden weight in the pit of her stomach.

Was this how the children in the Rukongai felt towards him? Had he seen that same fear in her just now?

She thinks back on his reaction, on the emotions flashing across his eyes. It was a vulnerable look, one that was equal parts shock and confusion, and something else. Something that makes her bite the inside of her cheek, hard.

Her reflection is interrupted by a confused grunt from her captain.

“Captain what’s…?” She returns her focus to the battle, a long, safe distance away now. Even so, she can see why her captain is bewildered. The giant’s flesh seemingly falls apart as he tips inexplicably forward. More buildings are destroyed under the weight of his bones.

“What the --?” Shinji begins, but then Gerard’s flesh, now brighter beams, flies towards the top of the Palace.

“Must be Yhwach’s doing,” he mutters with a grimace. “Does this mean he’s winning?”

“It can’t be…” The possibility has always been real, but despite the odds stacked against then, Momo believed to her core that they would secure a victory over the Quincy.

“I can’t sense Ichigo,” Shinji says through clenched teeth. “What the fuck’s going on up there?”

“We should go and help them, sir,” she suggests.

He shakes his head. “We’d be useless the way we are now.” He takes in a deep breath, the continues. “That kid isn’t weak. He always gets back up, no matter gets thrown at him. If he’s got Lieutenants Kuchiki and Abarai going to help, he’ll be fine.”

It sounds as if he’s trying to convince himself, but Momo nods. “They’re both strong.” She looks back to where the battle had been. She reaches out her senses, extending them beyond her usual limit. She clenches her fist as it begins to become too much. Just that little bit further…

She let’s out a relieved breath. “I can still sense them there. They don’t seem gravely injured.”

“At least that’s something.” He gestures to the piles of debris all around them. “In the meantime, I reckon we can start to look for Hiyori and the others. Their still alive, but they’ll need healing. Reckon you’re up for it.”

“Yes, Captain.”

They walk quickly over and between the ruins, following the faint traces of Hiyori, Love, Hachi, and Lisa’s reiatsu. Momo eyes Shinji’s injuries with concern after ten minutes of searching; aside from slow him down, they could reopen.

“Sir, maybe you should --”

Fast footsteps echo around them, bouncing off the piles of debris and still standing walls. If it weren’t for the reiatsu accompanying them, Momo would’ve had her hand on Tobiume in an instant.

Shinji grins. “Sure took their sweet time getting to us, huh?”

“With all of this wreckage in the way, it’s amazing they found us at all,” Momo says.

Byakuya appears from around a hill of debris, and stops when he spots them. It’s the most tattered looking Momo has ever seen him; even his tekko are coming apart at the seams and smeared with dirt and blood.

A movement from behind the captain distracts her, and her heart shudders when she sees Toshiro. He’s slouched over, the buttons of his coat done up in the wrong order and a sweat gleams on his brow. He’s exhausted, perhaps on the verge of fainting. But more than that, he’s himself again.

“We sensed you nearby,” Byakuya says, but she doesn’t turn her attention to him.

“Nice to see you too,” Shinji snarks. “You aren’t looking too good. You need my lieutenant to heal you? She ain’t Fourth Division, but she’s still good.”

Byakuya raises a hand as he comes over to his fellow captain. “There’s no need.”

Shinji jerks his chin in the direction of where their fight against Gerard had taken place. “What happened over there? Doesn’t look like you two took him out.”

Toshiro raises his head and begins to follow Byakuya, but freezes and straightens when his gaze meets Momo’s. His lips part, but nothing comes out of them. Momo swallows, also wanting to say something but nothing comes to mind. Her fear has tampered down. Perhaps it’s because he’s back to looking like how she knows him. It didn’t mean he was the same not after what she saw. Her heart tightens again, and she’s not sure what her expression is.

His lips close into a taut line, his frown deepens, and his eyes flicker away, returning seconds later only to look away again. His grip on Hyourinmaru tightens, and he pulls the zanpakuto behind himself, mostly out of view. His coat flaps as he shifts his weight from one foot to the other, then half turns away from her.

This all went unnoticed by Shinji and Byakuya, who continue to discuss the battle and their next moves, but for Momo it’s all she can see.

The way his gaze wavers, the stiffness in his posture, the way Hyourinmaru trembles from the pressure of his grip. He’s suddenly so uncertain, so unsure what to do. She unknowningly stakes a few staggering steps towards him. As she does, from beneath his fringe his gaze briefly flickers to her, and he flinches. Her heart fractures, and for a beat she loathes herself.

He was hurt. She had hurt him.

How could she be fearful of him?

When he starts to turn from her, she scrambles up to a run. Her guilt is immense, enough to bring tears to her eyes. She thinks to apologise as she makes her way to him, but she’s conscious of the captains’ stares.

It’s not the only reason she runs to him, she realises. It’s that he made it. He’s alive, and he’s not physically hurt as far as she can tell.

He hadn’t even noticed her coming, head hanging low and hunched body half turned from her. She slows her steps as she nears him. “Hitsugaya-kun,” she says softly.

He whips his head to her, and she closes the gap between them. Without hesitation, she brings arms around him. He goes more rigid and a choked sound comes from his lips. He hug isn’t tight, easily breakable if he wants to step away from her.

She trembles. He’s freezing, but it doesn’t burn her.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she rambles. “I’m so glad you’re okay. Please don’t go.”

Eventually, his rigidity softens. “You were afraid,” he whispers hoarsely.

She pulls back. “I didn’t mean to react the way I did. I was confused, I didn’t know how you became like that, that’s all.” She can’t repress a sob. “I thought you were about to get crushed, but then you just…froze everything. It’s an incredible power, unlike anything I’ve ever seen.”

His eyes are wide, hopeful and desperately wanting to believe what she’s saying. He almost looks like the child she’d befriended decades ago. She raises her hands to his shoulders and squeezes them.

“But this isn’t about me,” she continues. “I hurt you, and I’m so sorry. Y-You don’t have to tell me about that power, I’ll understand if you choose not to. I’m just glad you’re okay.” A tear falls from the corner of her eye. The war might still be going on, but behind the guilt, she relieved they’d made it through that battle.

“I should’ve told you what I was going to do back there.”

“Huh?”

“When the debris was falling, I should’ve told you what I was going to do. I didn’t mean to make you worry.”

She could almost laugh; it’s somehow absurd to her that he’d say something like that. “You know as well as I do in the heat of battle there are moments where we can’t go over strategy.” She gives him a soft smile. “Besides, even if you had told me, I still think I would’ve worried.”

“I didn’t mean to frighten you,” he whispers, “I’d never…” He quickly shuts his mouth, considering his next words. There was a slight desperation to his tone. It’s like someone desperately pleading with another to not think differently of them, and it’s so strange to see and hear this coming form him.

However, when he speaks again, it’s more neutral. “What you saw before was Hyourinmaru’s Completed Form. I can’t tell you about it now, but believe me, I will once this is over.”

How she desperately wants to know, but she nods. “I understand.” She lowers her hands back to her sides and gestures to a piece of debris next to them. “You should rest for now. You’re not injured, are you?”

He shakes his head. “Nothing serious.”

“But still –”

“You’ll have to heal those still underneath the wreckage, right?” He gingerly lowers himself to sit on the debris, using Hyourinmaru to keep his balance. “And if not them, then you’ll need all you can get to fight any enemies left. Save your strength.”

She wants to argue, but he’s right. She sighs. “All right.” Then, she bows. "I should've said this earlier, but thank you for saving Captain Hirako and I earlier. If not for you, we would've also been under the debris." She rises. "I'll check with my Captain and Captain Kuchiki on what our next move is."

She is about to go, but Toshiro’s voice, louder, than before, stops her.

“Hinamori...I didn’t tell you before because…” Toshiro shuts his eyes and his frown returns. He breathes in deeply, then silently out. "I didn't deliberately mean to hide something like this from you, or anyone, but it's...Those powers aren't mean to harm you, or anyone else other than enemies of the Soul Society. I'm still learning to control them, thought I had, but clearly I still need to..."

He's struggling, whether it's to find the right words or from fighting off exhaustion Momo can't tell.

She raises her hands. “It’s okay, we can discuss this later, like you said. The truth is, you didn't have to tell anyone if you didn't want to. I'm sorry if I came across as demanding to know why and how you got your new powers.” She kneels down to his level. "I also know you wouldn't hurt me, or any of us, if you can help it. If anyone can get a full grasp on their zanpakuto abilities, it's you, Hitsugaya-kun."

He let's out a shuddered breath, then bows his head. "It's 'Captain Hitsugaya', and you don't have to keep apologising. I just wanted you to know that anyway."

She can sense he wants to say more, so she waits.

“I don’t like that form, but I use it when I have to.” He raises his eyes to hers again. “If I were to use it again, how would you feel?”

The question makes her heart stammer. “W-Wha….What does it matter how I feel about it? You’re the one who uses it, and if you’ll need to use it, then –”

“It does.”

His conviction, in his voice and in his eyes, bewilders her. Why did he feel strongly about this? Is he worried he will frighten her again? Hadn’t she made it clear before this wouldn’t be the case?

She blinks as she gives her answer. “It would still be you, Hitsugaya-kun. I may have been afraid before, but I won’t be again.” She shrugs. “As is, there were various things that contributed to my feelings at the time, not just your powers or that form.”

Toshiro’s eyes shine with something she can’t quite place. It returns him to how she knows him, and the last of vulnerability vanishes from him. It might be that power he'd demonstrated, swirling beneath the surface of his eyes, but there's a warmth to it.

She had reaffirmed something, she suspects, but what it is she can’t be sure.

#hitsuhina #toshiro hitsugaya #matured form #momo hinamori #bleach #fanfiction #blog anniversary requests #1 down 4 to go!#I'll come back and edit this later #I wasn't 100% happy with the ending #at the time I thought 'this'll be a good *wink wink* to those who know what exactly been reaffirmed #but it didn't turn out that way for me #if I change it I'll self reblog with a note

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