#maybe it's in part due to the fact that he
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Digging into Romancing Mister Bridgerton part 2 - Jealousy
Ok I'm back to talk about jealousy...not Pen being Jealous of Colin with women or Colin Jealous of Pen with suitors. I'm talking Colin and his jealousy of Whistledown.
As we head into Part 2, I believe this will be a theme we see post Colin's finding out about Pen's secret. Because Colin finding out that Pen is Lady Whistledown WILL be a blow to him, Colin will forgive her, because he loves Pen. That's not even in question and not even something I'm discussing today. That's the EASY part.
The difficult part is that Colin has found love, he's found Pen. But Colin and Pen had that lovely discussion in S2 about Pen finding her purpose and now Colin is faced with the fact that Pen found that. Her success as Whistledown is something he has to face. And he still has not found his, just as Pen was starting to show him he may have one with his own writing. So let's dig in to how this played out in Romancing Mister Bridgerton because it was a big theme and I think this is coming to our boy!
In the book, even after the wedding, Colin struggles to deal with the revelation that Pen was Whistledown. Her success somehow tears at him and he is unable to deal with how if affects his own abilities and chances at being a writer himself. In true style, he was unable to communicate this jealousy and Pen mistook this as shame, that Colin was ashamed of her for being Whistledown.
See excerpts from RMB below:
Except, perhaps, for Colin and Penelope, neither of whom were especially comfortable when talk turned to Lady Whistledown.
But Colin was still so upset and angry over her secret life that she’d grown uncomfortable herself. She’d tried to broach the subject with him a few times, but he’d become tight-lipped and told her (in a very un-Colin-like tone) that he didn’t want to talk about it.
She could only deduce that he was ashamed of her. Or if not of her, precisely, then of her work as Lady Whistledown. Which was like a blow to her heart, because her writing was the one segment in her life that she could point to with a great sense of pride and accomplishment. She had done something. She had, even if she could not put her own name on her work, become a wild success. How many of her contemporaries, male or female, could claim the same?
She might be ready to leave Lady Whistledown behind and live her new life as Mrs. Colin Bridgerton, wife and mother, but that in no way meant that she was ashamed of what she had done.
When finally confronted with this, Colin told her he was not ashamed of her, but was unable to tell her he was jealous. he was ashamed of himself for being jealous of her. He struggled with his jealous for a while in the book. For not being able to find his true purpose.
“I’m not ashamed of you,” he said again, mostly because he couldn’t bring himself to tell her the truth—that he was jealous. Jealous of her achievements, jealous of her.
It was such a distasteful feeling, such an unpleasant emotion. It ate at him, creating a vague sense of shame every time someone mentioned Lady Whistledown, which, given the tenor of London’s current gossip, was about ten times each day. And he wasn’t quite certain what to do about it.
He was a man who had always felt supremely comfortable in his own skin. He didn’t know why he was so blessed—perhaps it was good parents, maybe simple luck. But now he felt awkward and uncomfortable and it was spilling into every corner of his life. He snapped at Penelope, he barely spoke at parties.
And it was all due to this detestable jealousy, and its attendant shame.
Or was it?
Would he be jealous of Penelope if he hadn’t already sensed a lack in his own life?
Of course because they still were not communicating, Pen continued to know something was troubling her husband. Colin continued to be protective of her and very loving, but any talk of Whistledown immediately seemed to turn the mood in their home. It began to make her become disappointed in her husband, but not because she was angry at him but because Pen was proud of herself. She was proud of everything she did as Whistledown and she wanted her husband to be proud of her.
He said he wasn’t ashamed of her, and maybe he even thought that was true, but she couldn’t quite bring herself to believe him. She’d seen his face when he swore that all he wanted was to protect her. But protectiveness was a fierce, burning feeling, and when Colin was talking about Lady Whistledown, his eyes were shuttered and flat.
She tried not to feel so disappointed. She tried to tell herself that she had no right to expect Colin to live up to her dreams, that her vision of him had been unfairly idealized, but…
But she still wanted him to be the man she’d dreamed of.
And she felt so guilty for every pang of disappointment. This was Colin! Colin, for heaven’s sake. Colin, who was as close to perfect as any human being could ever hope to be. She had no right to find fault with him, and yet…
And yet she did.
She wanted him to be proud of her. She wanted it more than anything in the world, more even than she’d wanted him all those years when she’d watched him from afar.
This continued until they finally spoke, until Pen finally confronted him with why he was so distant. With the fact that he had read everything she had ever written because it was out there, published for the world to see and his words remained hidden, words on a page that perhaps no one would ever see and even if they did, never want to read. And finally in unburdening to his wife, she reached out to him to help him, to tell him to publish and he allowed her help, and he asked her to edit and together it was the two of them, doing it together.
And the worst part was that he knew she didn’t understand. She thought he was ashamed of her. He’d told her that he wasn’t, but since he’d not been able to bring himself to tell her the truth—that he was jealous—he couldn’t imagine that she’d believed him.
Hell, he wouldn’t have believed him, either. He’d clearly looked like he was lying, because in a way, he was lying. Or at least withholding a truth that made him uncomfortable.
But the minute she’d reminded him that he’d read everything she’d written, something had turned ugly and black inside of him.
He’d read everything she’d written because she’d published everything she’d written. Whereas his scribblings sat dull and lifeless in his journals, tucked away where no one would see them.
Colin wanted, more than anything, to be his own man, to be known for his accomplishments, not for his name or position, or even his smile or charm.
“Why, then,” she asked him, her words slow and carefully measured, “do you grow so distant and cold every time I bring it up?”
When he spoke, his words were close to a mumble. “It’s difficult to explain.”
“I’m a good listener,” she said softly.
His hand, which had been cradling her face so lovingly, dropped to his lap. And he said the one thing she never would have expected.
“I’m jealous.” He shrugged helplessly. “I’m so sorry.”
“—I need something I can point to,” he said, right on top of her soft sentence. “I need a purpose. Anthony has one, and Benedict has one, but I’m at odds and ends.”
But she knew that those weren’t the sorts of milestones he was talking about. She knew what he needed: a purpose, a calling.
Something to show the world that he was more than they thought he was.
“Publish your travel memoirs,” she said.
“I’m not—”
“Publish them,” she said again. “Take a chance and see if you soar.”
His eyes met hers for a moment, then they slid back down to his journal, still clutched in her hands. “They need editing,” he mumbled.
Penelope laughed, because she knew she had won. And he had won, too. He didn’t know it yet, but he had.
But it wasn't until the end, when Colin realized that Pen didn't want him to let the world know about Whistledown because she was willing to let her success, her name go away for the sake of his success with his journals, his dream to survive, that he finally understood his wife. That she was willing to do so much for him. Give up her success for his. And he knew that his purpose WAS her. His dream was possible BECAUSE of Penelope.
“Colin,” she whispered. “If you tell the world I’m Lady Whistledown, and they react the way we think they will, you’ll never see your journals published.”
His heart stood still.
Because that was when he finally understood her.
She had told him before that she loved him, and she had shown her love as well, in all the ways he’d taught her. But never before had it been so clear, so frank, so raw.
All this time she’d been begging him not to make the announcement—it had all been for him.
He swallowed against the lump that was forming in his throat, fought for words, fought even for breath.
She reached out and touched his hand, her eyes pleading, her cheeks still wet with tears. “I could never forgive myself,” she said. “I don’t want to destroy your dreams.”
“They were never my dreams until I met you,” he whispered.
With all the jealousy behind them, their love the most important aspect of their lives, Colin lets her know that he is very proud of his wife. and he let the world know that he was very proud of her as well. I don't think we will get this in the show this season, because I think they will hold on to the secret of Whistledown for a while longer but i just love the end of the book and Colin showing his wife that he was proud of her. Proud of Penelope and Whistledown. Because she is both.
“The truth is,” Colin said, tugging on her hand and pulling her close, “I’m rather proud of you.”
She felt herself smiling, and it was so strange, because just a few moments earlier, she couldn’t imagine ever smiling again.
He leaned down until his nose touched hers. “I want everyone to know how proud I am of you. By the time I’m through, there won’t be a single person in London who doesn’t recognize how clever you are.”
Thanks for coming to my Ted talk. How I think RMB plays heavily into the show and how I see BookColin coming to live in ShowColin for the back half of 7&8.
#colin bridgerton#romancing mister bridgerton#colin x penelope#penelope x colin#bridgerton spoilers#bridgerton season 3 spoilers#bridgerton s3#bridgerton therapy#bridgerton#penelope featherington#stacy rambles#polin stan#polin
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Listen, I love, love, love, Luka so much… however…. I feel like he’s missing something. Maybe I’m just having trouble envisioning him in my head. It may be that I can’t read people very well so I don’t really know if he likes me, but I wanna see the look on his face after I kiss him for the first time. I wanna see the reaction to my fear when he threatens me. I wanna see how his body reacts so my touch. I love him, but for me, I feel like he’s missing a little pizazze in comparison to Kairos. Thank you so much! This is in no way critiquing Luka, his character or your writing, I just wanna have a better idea of him in my head.
(Can I be 🏵️ anon? I’ve sent in a few asks before this so yay :))
Thank you for the questions! It actually has me thinking more about Luka and his entire character as a whole.
I think that is a big part of Luka: it's hard to get a read on him.
Luka is a man who typically has something of a flat affect. Nothing in life particularly interests him; everything is somewhat boring. He's mastered the art of faking emotions around other people.
There's a part of him that has always wanted to feel something more. A part of him that yearns to know what it's like to love and be loved, what it's like to feel alive.
When he falls for you, he finally gets to feel all of the things he's been (basically) missing out on.
When Luka first kisses you, he freezes in place, his heart skipping a beat as his lips finally meet yours.
When your hands touch his body, he feels an unfamiliar warmth in his chest. All he wants is for you to touch him even more.
When he sees the way you squirm due to his teasing, he can't help but feel pure adoration, smirking all the while.
All of these things, all of these brand-new feelings... It makes him want to possess you entirely.
When Luka falls in love with you, he's willing to do anything to have you, it doesn't matter how horrible it is. By leaving him behind, you're essentially taking his life away.
But also... Luka is just a man who likes to have control; control over both himself and others. It's in his nature.
I think you're right in the sense that he's somewhat missing something- it's probably because I haven't really focused or honed in on the side of him that can't control the new emotions he feels when he's around you.
I haven't really explored the love-struck, obsessive side of him.
I mostly tend to focus on his thirst for control and his deep sense of possessiveness.
I think it'd be interesting to explore that other side of him more! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
Luka definitely keeps his emotions extremely well hidden. He could be sweating nervously, his heart pounding in his chest, mind going blank, and he'd still have a neutral expression.
My original intentions for Luka were to have him be a more dominant, stoic, possessive man with a predator/prey dynamic between him and his darling. However, as I kept writing for him, I added on the fact that his darling is the first person to ever make him feel alive.
So, basically: a cold, emotionless character who finally feels warmth and life via meeting his darling, and he quickly grows obsessed with you. I also wanted him to struggle with managing these new-found emotions, but I really haven't done that very much at all...
I'll definitely keep your words in mind as I proceed with writing more stories about him! I've explored Luka's possessive and more animalistic side well enough, but I think it would be interesting for me to dive in to his mind and pick him apart even more.
With Kairos, what you see is what you get, basically. A super obsessive, creepy, doting, emo loser yandere guy... His personality is strong, to put it lightly! ^^;;;;;
While I try to keep my characters consistent for the most part, I also try to remember that tweaking a few of their weak spots wouldn't be such a bad thing.
My ultimate goal for my characters is this:
I want to make characters that are deeply flawed, but still loveable. Characters that could be good people, but the love and obsession that they feel for their darlings ultimately lead them to doing horrible things.
Kairos is someone who's been told his entire life that he's an unlovable freak, so he eventually grows to accept the title, and he's willing to dive into depravity.
Luka is someone who has earned love and respect from others by learning to fake his emotions and fit in with society. He's never been truly loved, and he's never truly felt love either. Luka feels no real attachment to a majority of the people around him, so he doesn't truly care if they think he's a freak when he does something depraved.
Ace is someone who's desperate to get everyone's approval and is absolutely ashamed by his depraved urges. He tries his hardest to be a good person, but ultimately, he is a victim to his impulsivity and desires.
I think with Luka, it's a lot harder to depict his character... Kairos and Ace have something strong right from the get-go, while with Luka, I have to slowly unwrap him...
I'll definitely be making future plans to develop Luka's character more soon. He's a man who's done lots of horrible things in the posts I've made, but there's been very little done to counteract the bad.
To be honest, part of Ace's purpose is to help humanize Luka a bit more, which I plan on further developing in the near future.
But, uh... Really... As much as I love my characters and love writing/thinking about them, I know that none of it is really that serious. ^^;;;;;;;
I have a passion for making characters, I find it to be incredibly fun!! It's- probably a little obvious- so...
If anyone has any comments, I'm open to hear them! I'm trying to get better at taking critiques, too. ╮(￣ω￣;)╭
And, yes, you can be 🏵️ anon! Thank you for sending the ask!
Despite everything I've said about Luka and all my doubts with writing him... I still love him ღ He's my silly little creature
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Hello, I saw your post about Tumblr eating my ask, so I would like it if maybe you could do the first words you say to each other are written on a part of your body and maybe after seeing how mean jax is to the others, we basically become mute, like we never say anything to him or around him, since he's such an asshole but one day he manages to get us to say something.
If that's not to much to ask
*Ever since you joined the Digital Circus, you had yet to say a word due to how Jax treated the others and you did not want to have to deal with that.
*The others had thought you were mute due to this, but it was not true, as you had told them (when you got away from Jax)
*though that did not really help much since he would still find ways to bother you and pick at you
*You usually just ignored him as best you could and just hung around the others whenever possible
*However, one day, Jax just kept pestering you and joking around with you that you just had enough
*"You know what, Jax? You are the biggest jerk I have ever met, I don't understand how the others can put up with you!" You snapped at him, genuinely upset.
*Jax was actually caught off guard by your words, before remembering something.... he looked down at his arm and saw those exact words on his arm. You noticed it too, shocked and in disbelief
*There was no way you two were soulmates. You could not believe this at all. You had to leave and process this information
*After that, Jax did not bother you/was a little less of a jerk to you than before, but you still could not get over the fact that you were soulmates.
-Mod Red
#the amazing digital circus#tadc#sfw#jax#tadc jax#jax/reader#jax x reader#tadc jax/reader#tadc jax x reader#x reader#reader insert#the amazing digital circus x reader#tadc x reader#mod red
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What are your opinions/headcanons of if the TWST cast went to their significant other/fb and just call them "daddy" or "master" nonchalantly? This would either be due to a thing they say online and got curious, a dare, or just wanting any reaction out of their partner
To be honest, the more I thought about it, the more difficult it was for me to imagine any of these boys calling anyone “daddy” or “master”. I still have no idea why would any of them do that. But it’s also kind of funny to think about how these boys would react to it, so… Just fyi, we don’t like this... trope? kink?, hence are the problems with my imagination.
Riddle – he is probably the most innocent when it comes to understanding the implications of these words, but it would still feel somewhat weird to him. If it’s Floyd who does that, he would kind of dig the idea of being Floyd’s master… for one moment, and then get very loudly mad at him grinning at his reaction.
Ace – he would choke on his own saliva because of shock and say that it was cringe, but secretly kind of be a little into it.
Deuce – he would think that Ace is making fun of him, get flustered and mad and smack him. Don’t call him that!
Trey – awkward laughter. He would say that it’s okay; there was this one time when someone accidentally called him “mom”, so it happens. Of course he is just playing dumb, he knows the implications of being called that. He is just a little bit too shocked to hear that from Riddle, so he needs some time to process that.
Cater – he would also laugh it off, but then suddenly start playing along. He isn’t sure if he likes it or not yet, but he’ll figure it out in the process. It is new to him though, so he might say that he is more of a “cute oniichan” type~
Leona – for some reason… actually hearing it is even worse than he thought. It sounds like Ruggie just wants something from him. Maybe it’s because it’s Ruggie of all people.
Ruggie – confused blink, finger pointing at self like “me?”. He would then grin and ask if he can boss Leona around now that he is Master… and get his Master rights revoked immediately.
Jack – he is not innocent to the point of not knowing how it sounds, but no matter who he hears that from, he would be surprised and flustered. With Vil, he would think that this is some kind of improv and that he expects Jack to play along… he would think too hard about it.
Azul – if it’s Jamil who says it (????? I wonder why…), Azul would chuckle smugly and say something among the lines of “now, what do you want from me? Be honest”. Because he knows there is no way Jamil means it, but still, you can hear it in his voice, he is kind of… happy. And if it’s Idia who does it, Azul would get a bit more annoyed and embarrassed from the get-go: “Are you teasing me, Idia-san??”
Floyd – he would either get annoyed or start abusing the fact that he is Daddy/Master. If someone is bold enough to call him that, he might as well take it and start demanding that person to do ridiculous(ly perverted) things for him. Chances are, the other guy (Riddle, Epel, whoever) doesn’t play along, and then Floyd would stop him and say “hey, I thought you said I am your master now?”
Jade – he would act surprised at first, but then say that it’s very sudden, but he is going to do his best to be the best Daddy or Master possible. And if he was called Daddy, he would continue saying the word Daddy so many times until the poor guy who said it dies of cringe. Are you dissatisfied with your Daddy? He is very sorry that he isn’t Daddy enough even though you called him Daddy. And yes, he would abuse the role of Master just as Floyd would.
Kalim – even though there is some part of him that understands that this isn’t what being called “master” means, he would ask to just call him Kalim. And if he is being called “daddy” he would just get very confused. “Do you miss your father, Jamil? Should we facetime him?”
Jamil – what… doesn’t have time or energy for this, what the hell is this… (although to be fair, he really does enjoy being called master in the game 🤔 kinky hoe)
Vil – somehow he looks disappointed, no matter who he hears this from, but he would look especially disappointed (and SURPRISED) with Rook. If you want to call him something, come up with something better. No, not “mommy”.
Rook – honestly, he is an enigma, it’s super difficult to picture his reaction in particular, but I think he would act play along a little bit… and then somehow turn it into an entirely different roleplay. It wasn’t even a roleplay to begin with, but now it is. Daddy or Master aren’t necessarily his go-to words to hear about himself…
Epel – oh no, I think he would get genuinely happy and giggly. After being a little shocked of course. Still, the thought of it being a joke wouldn’t cross his mind at first, even if he hears it from someone like Floyd.
Idia – he really doesn’t get it, but he really doesn’t like it. It sounds like a joke. Being called “master” is slightly better, because it kind of reminds him of one gacha game about maids that always greets him with “welcome back, master”, but it’s one thing when it’s a cute little girlie calls you that… being called that by Azul or Lilia or the Tweels just sounds like a threat. Unless it’s Ortho, Ortho is always cute <3
Ortho – he would “yes, and” it. Of course there is no way Idia or Vil (or anyone else) would mean it literally, which means there is some attempt at play! And he would play along! Sounds very fun. He would wonder what kind of things he could demand for as a master >:3c He could also play along with the “daddy” scenario and it’s cursed, no one wants to hear it.
Lilia – he is pretty used to it, I think lol Well, I guess “father” and “daddy” are two different things. He would be very surprised if Silver called him daddy, and would probably take it as a wholesome thing. Of all things this is what Lilia would take as wholesome..?? If Malleus says it though, Lilia would instantly get amused because this is very bold and inappropriate of him (in a way he wonders if Malleus even knows the sexual implications of the word).
Silver – he would probably ignore it and think that it wasn’t him who his partner (Sebek?) was referring to. Then, he would blink confusedly because there is not a single scenario in his head that would make it make sense. He is probably just going to suggest Sebek to take the rest of the day off and sleep…
Sebek – another one who would get weirdly into being called master, but still yell at the person who called him that, while blushing and getting very obviously nervous. Like we mentioned just the other day, being called “daddy” would make him think about being compared to Lilia, so this is a bit more weird to him…
Malleus – oho? Him, a parent? If it’s Lilia, how quaint of him. Is this another joke that Malleus doesn’t get? And if it’s Sebek, then… is he feeling okay? Malleus would get concerned. Well, if he calls him “master”, I guess this isn’t so different from being his liege.
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Hi Luci! New fan here. I was watching Charles' Singapore pole lap and while reading the comments, they mentioned Charles making three mistakes and somehow still getting pole. Another comment mentioned that he lost the car a couple times but it's his corrections that made him go faster than the conservative drivers.
I know going on or even beyond the limit is what makes Charles a good driver, but how does that work exactly? How is it that making mistakes, even when able to correct them, allows you to go faster than others who are more conservative and make less mistakes.
This is also related to Charles' preference for oversteer, right? I heard that fastest cars are usually the agile ones, which is oversteer...? With the unstable rear?
I was wondering if that's what makes the difference with Max and Charles. Maybe the fact that they have the talent to extract the maximum of the fastest/oversteery car.
Since you weren't specific about which Singapore pole I guess I will just have to talk about both!
So Singapore 2022 qualifying had rain at the start, the track was damp and everyone was on intermediate tyres until Q3 when the track had dried enough for the softs.
The "mistakes" in Charles' lap were losing the front or the rear on multiple turns due to still slick conditions on those parts of the track. Since the track was still evolving in terms of the wetness managing this is tricky.
To answer your question. Going faster and being able to recover slipping will result in a faster lap. Going at higher speeds around the corners will risk more loss of traction in damp conditions especially, however if you can recover the additional speed is worth it compared to those who are taking the corner without losing traction, but who are overall slower. There were a few key corners where Charles taking them faster even with those errors was overall faster than those who got the corners perfect but were slower. So the real skill there was going fast enough, and also being able to recover those slides quickly so that he didn't lose more time and negate the benefit of attempting at higher speeds. Recovering the car constantly like that at those speeds is quite impressive. And the data reflects many of the other top contenders for pole being more conservative on certain turns.
That pole lap was a calculated risk. One that Charles was able to pull off, he went faster than the others dared, knowing full well it would lead to some grip problems, and he was able to recover those to the point that the losses he had from those grip losses were less than taking the corners slower. Does that make sense? It was kind of insane.
I also want to note that the top three in Singapore 2022 quali were within a tenth of each other, it was a very fine margin.
Singapore 2019 is a slightly different story.
It was dry. And Charles was making most of his time compared to Lewis(who was his biggest threat and qualified P2) on the straights. Charles' tops speeds were putting him ahead, and it was again worth the risk of the loss of a few corners to maintain the higher speeds. I think some of this was his inexperience he just wanted to go very fast, and was going fast enough that he could outrun those errors. Since then he's refined his throttle and brake application. Also being able to recover those like that, as I said before is a show of real skill. Recovering them at all, and also doing it quickly. So this allowed him to get better top speeds on the exits going into the straights compared to Lewis.
Also some of this is a symptom of outdriving the car you are in. He really was pushing that Ferrari to it's limits on that track. At a certain point the man behind the wheel is faster than the car and he has to contend with the physics limiting him.
The short answer to your question is to simply be able to recover your mistakes quickly, and to be faster than your mistakes. If you can do that a few mistakes can be afforded for greater overall speed.
So oversteer seems to really suit this version of cars. It's been good in the past as well do not get me wrong, but from 2022 onward that driving style seems to be able to take advantage of something in these ground effect cars.
I really like the way Alex put it when talking about Max's driving, thinking about it like setting your mouse speed to the maximum sensitivity and then having to be able to use your computer perfectly like that. With the oversteer there is more control of the car at the front end, and in the hands of a skilled driver this can leverage the highest precision on a track compared to other styles.
Now there are advantages and disadvantages to oversteer and understeer. There is a lot more to oversteer than I covered here, but a very skilled driver who has really mastered oversteer is very difficult to beat.
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Doing The Orange-Peel Test On The Second-Years
Riddle Rosehearts ♡:
Pass!
He believes in noblesse oblige, after all. If you can't peel the orange, and he can, than who is he not to peel it for you? It's his duty.
Then again, it might not feel quite as good since he'd do this for pretty much everyone and anyone, but hey, your boyfriend's a kind man. Isn't that a good thing?
Ruggie Bucchi ✧:
Pass(?)
He peels it for you alright...
And then he eats part of the orange. Maybe even the entire thing if he's particularly hungry. Calls it the 'Ruggie tax'.
But hey, he'll peel it for you again, if you ask!
Azul Ashengrotto ☆:
Results: Invalid.
He finds out about the test first, and tries it on you. He's just like that, I'm afraid.
If you do genuinely need him to peel something for you, he will. I'm afraid you might have to pay him in kisses, through.
Jade leech ☾:
Pass!
He... also knew about the test beforehand. Unlike Azul, though, he keeps it a secret and responds to your request in the most stereotypically "perfect" way possible.
He will openly ask you for payment in kisses or something small like that, though. Don't worry, ask about the newest mushroom spores he's obtained and he'll forget about it for the time being.
Floyd Leech ☽:
Fail... Kind of.
He knows you're testing him - he's not dumb - and he can't stand it. Why do you need to test him like this? What's the point? Do you think he isn't kind enough? It sours his mood.
He'll usually peel it for you if you actually need help though, just only ask when you need it instead of giving him these tests!
Kalim Al-Asim ✧˖°:
Pass for effort.
He wants to help you, and he'll try, but at the time, he's not used to peeling oranges himself due to the overly sheltered nature of his life. He'll peel it, but there's definitely a mess made the very first time.
He'll learn, though, and he's shockingly good! Later on, he peels them with an uncanny level of perfection. You can't believe that you're somehow being left awestruck by someone's orange-peeling, but... you are. How?
Jamil Viper ʚɞ :
Depends - Before or after his overblot?
It's easy to see through the fact that you're testing him. If this is before his overblot, he'll peel it just to appease you in spite of the fact that he doesn't like being tested.
After, though, he'll just straight-up tell you to come back when you actually need help; when you aren't just testing him.
Silver Vanrouge ✿:
Pass!
If you give him the orange, he'll gladly peel it for you. He's definitely pretty good at it.
Though, if he finds out you're testing him, he might be a little bit confused. What was the intention? Are these tests common in relationships?
#twst#riddle rosehearts#ruggie bucchi#azul ashengrotto#jade leech#floyd leech#kalim al-asim#jamil viper#silver#twst silver#riddle rosehearts x reader#ruggie bucchi x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#jade leech x reader#floyd leech x reader#kalim al asim x reader#jamil viper x reader#silver x reader
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my two cents on the "finn is so gender" discourse (???) is that people just use "gender" as a replacement for calling him pretty/handsome/cute/etc. so like... if you want to call him good-looking, you can just say that he is.
#maybe i'm going off the rails with my pseudo analysis#but i think people tend to hesitate calling finn handsome or whatever#maybe it's in part due to the fact that he#has got a rabid-ass fanbase who definitely only like him for his looks#and by identifying him with the term “gender” it kind of makes it seem like you're not necessarily attracted to him#just that you acknowledge that he is aesthetically pleasing#idk maybe i'm way off mark here#it's just the same way people would talk about h*rry st*les when i was in the 1d fandom#some people didn't want to refer to him as handsome/attractive because they didn't want to be associated with fans who#are very creepily thirsty over him#but also if you find finn aesthetically pleasing and genuinely “gender envy”? good for you#whatever floats your boat#i think he is a very attractive person so it doesn't matter to me anyway#finn wolfhard
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ok ive had enough of queering judaism. can we start judaizing queerness now. or something
#like. it feels like so much of this queering judaism shtus just layers an american/secular queer identity over judaism#which i guess is fine for certain communities. but it's only going to push you away from orthodoxy#and if as queer jews we already feel like our queerness makes us into secularized outsiders in our own communities#how does this help? is trying to get our communities to embrace an essentially secular american iteration of queer identity supposed to mak#us feel LESS like outsiders? it's not quite doing it for me#we need a queerness that comes from within judaism that is essentially jewish#ive seen a couple of articles recently from ppl talking abt how word/concept of butch doesnt exist in their language & culture#but they use it anyway#& like. i love being butch. it's important to me ill never give it up#& i am american too. but my whole identity as a butch he/him lesbian is exclusively secular american it came from the outsifr#which is definitely due in large part to the fact that my Gender Problems were really tied up w orthodox jewish gender roles#so naturally to get out of that i'd pull on something not jewish. but i wish there was another option? idk if that's possible#or how it would look#maybe that's why im obsessed w the idea of a butch w long curly payos.... 😦#i forgot where i was going w this but yeah it's frustrating#this is a large part of why im wary of starting a queer Jewish club on campus bc the people who would wanna start it w mr#well no offense but they are insufferable about this#(incidentally they're also insufferable about chanukah. no surprises there)#nachi speaks#jew blogging#others have Actually written abt all this tho
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One thing about canto VI is like. I see so many people predicting it'll be about Fighting Evil Wife or Breaking Codependent Toxic Relationship and I just kinda think that would suck? If the major theme isn't grief AND love and the way both are seen as like Kinda Weird/inappropriate in the setting of the city. Then I'll be very sad.
#bell.txt#not putting it in the tag i dont wanna spam but yes limbus posting yes girls will be thinking about mortal regret#LIKE. LIKE. remember the discourse on twt about how like it was bad writing that yi sang didnt mourn dongbaek etc#and like that was the thing right. thsts not a thing you do in the city. that was part of why roland (who takes lots after wh's themes)#was so exceptional. that is the whole thing about the sickness of the city#to say it in comedia literary criticism terms: sins are split between wrongly-directed love and excess of love with sloth (lack of love)#being an outlier. i think heatho and generally og wh is about excess of love and not wrongly-directed love. it is the thing that lasts#all the way to the other side. it is the shared coffin and meeting again in the next life#i think itd be AWFULLY disappointing to get some boring boring 'they make each other worse' take. being APART due to societal pressures#makes them worse and horribly lonely. death makes them worse baby. so in my mind thats it#we get to see cathy die or still be unreachable in some way and then in very roland style we get furioso mode#and then the ending is about recognizing the love that has in fact been there all along and carrying it with u. and hoping to reunite some#where some other time. NO more slander of that awful girl. YES to the comfort of the memories.#me typing over my foscolo notes like i can surely post about heathcliff really fast and not write a novel in the tags (unaware)#i have more thoughts about this in regards to ruina with xiao and some stuff from leviathan but in the meantime. listen to my ramblings boy#ALSO. considering that implication. he feels for her what queequeg feels for ishy. ARGHH. RIPPING MY HAIR OFF#ok actually its been enough hours to not spam ppl I'll tag it now for blog org. i should maybe have a tag for posting specifically#limbus company
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Fumes and I got talking and he told me about his factory. Real weird to consider these lil guys are manufactured…
TBH most of it went over my head. Stuff about programs and codes, the reading and distillation of multiversal data. He made it sound like some weird 3D printer that prints out physical goo comprised of binary.
Kinda fucked up but I guess corpos be corpos… and Fumes and I are both happy he exists (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)
#skelekins speaks#bitty posting#in character post#ooc: i know poes bitties (and maybe others) start from like a soul shard and thats part of why they require others to help seay alive#my bitties dont have that eequirement to give them more opportunities and freedom#they also have magic but its stunted due to size which results in more hyper specializing and utilizing tools for amplification#i imagine undertale univerises on a scale of Soul to Code#so mine are manufactured in a more code-heavy AU instead of soul#they still have souls but it develops in their conception or ‘printing’#idk the exact details shrug shrug#if yoive read this far havr a bugg fact: bugg is prototype baggs butty#they didnt quite get baggs code correctly and as such missed some of his more redeeming qualities#like the desire to help people#also a fumes note i meant to add above: this is why he is the way he is#some sansy data accidentally got mixed into his dataset at conception#peye might be different ;)
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Hi. (Announcement in the tags)
#uhmm...i don't know how to explain this...#so my family has been having a lot of trouble lately#mostly our relationship with our step father#there's been ups and downs..well..more on the downer side. the only main reason my mother married him was because of..well..#money..as trash as that sounds. i can't deny the fact that I've been able to continue my studies due to his financial support.#i don't want to justify anything that i've probably done wrong to him but emotionally right now—i'm simply scarred to the point where—#I don't think I could heal without professional help. I've been struggling a lot with it ever since of what he did#i felt disgusted. dirty. I felt lost. I didn't want to forgive him. maybe this is the punishment i have to endure because I didn't have it—#—in me to forgive him. I know the principles of my religion and it is stated that one must always find forgiveness towards others.#no matter how big their mistake is. but you see—I'm not God. I am human. my kindness isn't as grand and as big as Him.#my patience is limited and so is my forgiveness#that applies the same to my mother. my mother is a very patient person when it comes to her husband. but yet again she isn't an angel—#nor is she God. she is also human and has limits to what she could handle and what she could forgive and forget.#they argued tonight. and I don't think it'll slide or end well like the past arguments. and I'm sorry to say but—#I won't be able to be active all that much either.#without him now I'll probably have to look for part time jobs. which is gonna limit how active I will be here and on my main account#I will probably go into an indefinite hiatus for some time#maybe I'll come back...maybe I won't. hopefully I will. just...pray for me that I have it in me to continue doing what I love and—#—sharing these little bits of what I do in my free time with you.#I won't have the time to reply to anything for the time being. college tests are on the way and I have to prepare myself for—#—the better or worse.#if things go downhill and you don't hear from me for a long while. then this will probably be my last post here.#I'll still be able to reply to messages on other platforms#but I just don't have the emotional stability to talk right now. No it's gonna be fine. I have faith in me and God.#I know that He doesn't put His children into burdens that none of them could handle.#and if He thinks I could handle this. then I will. and I can. He is with me and so is all of your faith.#that puts me in a sense of reassurance a little hahah...#yeah.. so...I'll see you then..bye.
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PEOPLE WHO CHANGE JOBS AS MUCH AS YOU END UP HOMELESS, ALONE, AND ON DRUGS. DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU.
#traumacore#drugcore#ventcore#ms paint#original art#this is the exact thing my father told me when i lost my job (which i had kept for almost a year at that point) due to covid and the fact#that i was not yet fully vaccinated... i had maybe 2 or 3 jobs before that. i fucking hate my father#I hope he goes the rest of his miserable fucking life filled with regret and I hope he hates himself. I hope he is in agony knowing he was#even WORSE than his own abusive parents. I hope he goes to bed every night crying and knowing exactly how he went wrong and still being#unable to do a damn thing about it because he's a quivering fucking pussy ass coward. who speaks to their kid in the way that he spoke to m#who in their right mind treats their kid like that? praises them one minute#and in the same breath tells them that they will never amount to anything? what a fucking loser and a coward. i hope he rots in hell.#all his children hate him and want nothing or minimal to do with him!!! I hope his heart breaks until the day he fucking dies.#he is a fucking coward and a pussy and a disgraceful excuse for a human being and an even more pathetic excuse for a “father”#EAT SHIT YOU FUCKING SELF HATING PROJECTING CLOSET CASE#SOME DAY YOU WILL ACHE LIKE I ACHE#that last part was a Hole reference btw
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TBH I think there’s a difference between being okay with negative consequences and actually masterminding those things to happen. One of the things I find most interesting about Dumbledore is how often he falls under the first category (since fandom often seems to put him in the second).
Dumbledore is more aware than most characters that this world is a dangerous one and there are consequences for one’s actions. I’d argue that most of his “manipulation” is less “you must endure XYZ because it is a step in my masterplan” and more “I’m aiming for this very specific endgame and if you have decided to join me, these are the risks and I’m sorry but you might endure them because that’s the cost of the plan. Are you still with me?”
So no, I really don’t see him as sending Snape to his death any more than any of the Order members who died for the cause, like say, Moody. As far as I know, he only plans three deaths: his own, Harry’s, and Voldemort’s, with Voldemort’s death being his endgame. Being willing to let others die for your plan is different than actually purposefully sending someone to their death because it furthers your plan.
(re: the manipulation post, I’m mostly interested in the buy-in, because people don’t seem to defect after joining up except for the one case of Wormtail, who never seems to have bought in in the first place, though granted we don’t actually have much info on that. Like, how do people come to be loyal to Dumbledore and his interpretation of what’s right? There are no factions in the resistance or competing versions of “how do we resist,” which is kinda laughable, all things considered.
The most obvious explanation is unfortunately Doylist (HP is not a very good depiction of resistance movements because the author didn’t really study how they work, and the black hats/white hats mentality is so strong that it’s never really in question if Dumbledore is “good,” just if he’s actually benevolent or not) and when it boils down to it, I don’t think Dumbledore is all that effectively written as a person who wins over hearts because it’s mostly done with “haha cool whimsical fun guy that Fights Bullies and also Wizard Evils.”
I think (as written) people ally with Dumbledore against Voldemort et. al., not because of anything Dumbledore actually does (except for being powerful, competent, and intimidating, I guess), but because he’s written as the only alternative to Voldemort. Literally. Everyone else is too incompetent to resist Voldemort, or they’re 100% loyal to Dumbledore because he’s a Good Guy who’s the Only One Powerful and Smart Enough to Save Us and would never dream of having a different idea of how things should be done).
#albus percival wulfric brian dumbledore#apwbd#like where is the guerrilla violent faction??? there's like maybe one mention of maybe a bridge or something being destroyed?#once again i find myself listening to those who have suggested we really should have had neville's pov because harry's camping trip#is not a very good picture of how resistance works#my dumbledore post was more interested in how fandom has gotten a specific view of dumbledore#than it was with me actually thinking dumbledore is a manipulative mastermind who decides who lives and dies#(yeah i do think he's manipulative. but like. in a plot way. and i think at least a quarter of *he's manipulative* comes from the fact that#in books 1-3 (or 1-4) we see him as whimsical silly important guy#so we're disarmed and then we realize *wow that was kinda a front* when we see him with the actual grownups#like yeah he has the persona and leans into the batty harmless old kook persona when it suits him (likely in no small part#due to his own desire to actually be harmless since he knows he commands the respect of others and easily hurts people#because he doesn't consider himself a reliable judge of ethics)#so no not really manipulative so much as more complicated than we expected)
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The Crowley and Amara thing as it was in canon was very much a complete disaster but part of the reason I so strongly prefer Amara as Crowley’s kid conceptually over him having anything to do with Gavin is because I really prefer the idea of Crowley choosing to be a parent on his own terms because he wants to have a relationship like that, and not out of any sort of forced obligation.
#Especially because to me Gavin only exists because Fergus MacLeod was a gay man who#had to force himself to marry and have children to hide that significant part of himself.#And that is why he resents Gavin so much in the first place. Not that it justifies the mistreatment but that’s at least WHY#It’s at least why Crowley feels that way. In my interpretation that is#So I think Crowley would have a LOT of parenting hang-ups related to that whole ordeal#Which I think is why he has Amara call him uncle instead of papa or something because he’s still not entirely comfortable#with fatherhood and his place in it and so the uncle thing is a way he can distance himself from that a little#But he very much was trying to parent Amara. Like in complete and total earnest too regardless of any initial intentions#I honestly believe that it became less about getting the Darkness on his side and more about him wanting a family#Wanting ANYONE. Love of any kind be it romantic platonic familial etc. He just wanted someone who would stand next to him#And maybe that’s kind of a woobie take but on my head be it I guess because I really do believe that#The show is atrociously written of course so like I said it’s an entire mess but he really did read parenting help books in the middle of#important meetings. Like. What am I supposed to do with that information other than think he is actually really trying here#ANYWAY to return to the point I’m trying to make with the post….. the fact that Crowley wanted to be a parent to Amara and clearly#did not want to have had Gavin is an important difference to me.#And I think if fan content is going to give Crowley any adventure in parenting then I’d much rather see him with Amara#Making the active choice to be someone for her#Rather than force himself to have anything to do with Gavin out of guilt at best and pure obligation at worst#(Due to Crowley and Rowena’s same person syndrome this is also why I think that while they could be friends that their#parent-child relationship is a ship that has LONG since sailed. Rowena is not a mother she’s not comfortable with it etc. So#they would stop trying to force that particular angle and just try and be amiable with each other and I think it would make it#genuinely easier for them to get along if they stopped trying to be Mother and Son and just tried to be people.)#My posts
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sorry about being inactive for the past few days + still not answering the asks I received a month ago. unfortunately I will continue to be inactive </3
#I have.... well#im currently 8 books into rereading a beloved series from my childhood#that is 20 books long 😐#and I fear im too far in to stop now#I haven't been recording them as part of my yearly reading goal... maybe I should be at this point 😭#I don't now how this happened (that's a lie I know exactly how this happened)#I found out they made a movie adaptation & of course I had to watch it#and THEY MASSACRED THEM#ok it was mostly faithful. but they definitely massacred Lucas#why was he NICE??? and know who his dad is from the beginning??????#also they had Jacinta riding a horse + her character was written weird 🧍🏻♀️ and Seb was barely in it#anyway next thing I knew I was rereading the books at lightning speed in order to fully remember just how much the movie did them dirty#there's a second movie too but I can't find it anywhere 😔#probably due to the fact nobody outside Australia knows this series exists rip#I am an adult I should not be reading children's books 💀💀#thats my life update anyway <3#bella talks
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i really hate to be rewatching this show just to compare it to s3 like truly i just want some wonder and whimsy in my life again as a break from being a hater, but still, rewatching s1 is really just reminding of WHY im disliking s3 so much
so a relatively minor thing about s3 that has nonetheless been irking me is how weird and unnatural and stilted the dialogue is. it just feels so flat and empty. and even the way pedro is voiceacting for din just makes him so monotone and flat - and im not even blaming pedro for like, bad acting or anything, im blaming the direction because the same thing is evident in the written dialogue itself, and obv pedro has been doing fine before this. but overall both the written dialogue and the voiceacting makes din just have like.. no personality whatsoever.
and then contrast it with s1. din really is generally a monotone, minimal words kinda guy, even back in the beginning, but he still had a personality despite that. its the way he said those minimal words that delivered that personality, like theres still the subtle emotion behind everything that really endears you to him and makes the monotone quality like, less of Oh No, Protag Has No Personality, and more of an actual TRAIT of his personality
just listen to this scene! he speaks pretty flatly but its more in a gruff detached way, and he still emotes underneath it which shows his impatience and resignation! he emphasizes words and changes his cadence to stress things, and just overall the way he says “you understand? great.” i dont get this feeling from anything in s3 so far its like din is just Saying Words to keep the show rolling and nothing else, no more subtle characterization and subtle emoting. Sighs
i dont know if im wording this right but just overall the line delivery is so different and so much better in s1 and i cannot believe s3 is so bad so far its got me marveling over the most basic ass shit, like full on writing essays about a random 40 second scene like this
#brot watches the mandalorian#even eps 1-3 had me ooing and awing over the fact that like din RAISES HIS VOICE! GASP#HE EMOTES !!#i think this trend thats particularly evident in s3 may have even started in s2#which is maybe why im harping on it so much more#but then again the general decline in quality started mid s2 its not contained in s3 alone#its like yes i love our monotone king but i also do love the subtle ways he emotes which is like#so important to me and really notable DUE to the fact we cannot see his face#so i have always from day 1 marveled over the subtle ways he emotes from just the way he tilts his head or the slight change in voice tone#so on and so forth#and so to remove one of those fundamental aspects is to just like. remove somethung i reallt enjoyed abour watching#about taking in all these little details and piecing them together to get a complete idea of this guy#who otherwise doesnt show much - on purpose! hes literally faceless and nameless#at this point innthe show at least#so its FUN to watch and still say I know who you are despite that#to figure out whats going on inside his head despite the fact he does everything to remain unknowable#which is why the monotone gruff thing he has going on is an actual personality trait - its all part of his standoffish thing#the stay away from me im minding my business i am serving nothing#BUT THEN YOU GET THE SUBTLE EMOTIONS DESPITE IT#the cracks in his metaphorical (and literal!) armor !! to peer behind the shield and see who he is anyway!!#SORRY. SORRY I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT DIN#head in my hands MR DJARIN ‼️‼️‼️
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