#love how they are like silent when they monitor the other it's become a thing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jensettermandu · 1 month

Text

six feet under - yu jimin

genre; smut, angst, hurt/comfort

pairing; karina x g!p reader

content; despite the title there's no character death (it's just for metaphors) , unhealthy relationship; lack of communication , difficulty dealing with acceptance/reality , unintentionally hurting e/o , smut; p in v :D , unprotected sex , top karina/service bottom reader , oral (reader giving) , slight breast play , some praising

synopsis; it had always been said that nothing stays the same, it had been said ever since they were little kids and that acceptance of it was important. it helped move forward because dwelling in a past that no longer existed did no one any good. to hang onto something that didn’t exist meant falling to the deepest parts of hell willingly because no matter how much it hurt it felt like it was worth it the second they looked back at what it used to be.

wc; 15.6k+

masterlist.

It had always been said that nothing stays the same, it had been said ever since they were little kids and that acceptance of it was important. It helped move forward because dwelling in a past that no longer existed did no one any good. To hang onto something that didn’t exist meant falling to the deepest parts of hell willingly because no matter how much it hurt it felt like it was worth it the second they looked back at what it used to be.

The silence could almost be dreading, it was so loud that it vibrated through their ribcage. It was so loud with their thoughts that they had no clue what to do. Love could be so many things, couldn’t it? It also meant that love got mistaken a lot of times too. It could make a bed feel comfortable, one they would always want to be at the end of every night, but it would always feel cold with spaces bigger than the ocean even if they were just an inch away.

At times it felt like acknowledging the damage would only damage the rest of the world too if it was brought up. It was for everyone’s best and they could silently try to fix the damage with minimum casualties around them.

They both fell blind and only realised that they forgot to do something about it when they were dragged out of the daydreams and brought back to reality. The daydream that was the past was what made Y/n look away from her monitor once her eyes fell on the time at the bottom corner. She slipped the headphones off of her head, loose bangs falling over her forehead as they no longer were held back by the gear and she turned the chair around. Her eyes fell on the bed that was empty despite it being 0:30 AM.

Routines changed, but they stayed.

It had become a game of avoiding the other to not bring up the actual problems. Y/n indulged in her video games the whole day so they could avoid even looking at each other. She hadn’t spared Jimin a single glance but was now looking at the empty bed with sentiment filling her veins heavily. She deeply inhaled, trying to fill her lungs with oxygen to air out the sadness and hang on to the hope of stitching the torn back together.

It was harder than it looked though when she had no clue how to put together a world that had been caught in a landslide and pulled them apart. It was all drifting apart, burning bridges they couldn’t stop imagining still existed. All they did was stand and look at it happening because there was nothing that they could do about these new feelings.

She placed the headset onto the desk and reached over to the power button on the PC, her index finger coming in contact with it. Y/n pressed it and still deep in lamentful thoughts she held it for a while longer than needed before letting go.

Just as she stood up the door opened and her tired eyes landed on Jimin whose gaze immediately was drawn to Y/n despite how far away they were. It was time to let go, but all that heaviness caused by the thoughts of finally mending their worlds and leaving the one they had built together in the past was hard to get rid of. There were so many reasons that told them to let go, but so many that told them to stay because of what once was their everything.

“I just have to take a quick shower.” Jimin nodded at that as she stepped inside the room, leaving the door ajar as she knew what it meant. It was too cold to fall asleep beside each other on the bed, it was too uncertain of what they should do in the familiar sheets. It was easier to fall asleep alone, but it was difficult to sleep fully through the night if they weren’t both in bed at the same time.

It had become a routine of leaving to let the other fall asleep before getting in bed too. The shower felt agonising, unsure if she had been in there long enough or if she should stay and continue to ponder. Everything around them still felt the same, but on the inside everything was different. Was it because of how suddenly it had happened? Was it because it was scary to let go of something that used to be all their comfort, scared that it was their only comfort after being it for so long? Was it because of how much they still had for each other?

What if they got lost and became wanderers once they would let go of each other and would end up walking life without a goal to reach?

The shower felt like the only place where she could ponder now since it felt like it was too much to cry in front of each other. That would mean that they would have to talk about what was wrong and what they had to do, to do the things they weren’t ready for. The past felt so worth holding onto despite the feelings of the future never looking like they imagined.

It was like every other time when Y/n walked back to the room, she quietly opened it, stepping inside the warmth and the comforting scent of Jimin that lingered in the air. Was it because all these things still brought her warmth and comfort? Her eyes landed on the bed that wasn’t empty this time, but would still feel cold once she settled in it. Never did they do it intentionally, but it had started happening at some point and there was nothing they could do to stop it.

She couldn’t just not care, she always did and always would as she threw her black hoodie onto the backrest of the swivel chair she had been sitting in earlier. It merely made a sound when it landed on the chair and she walked a few small steps over to the edge of the bed where Jimin was lying.

It had become a new routine to just stare at Jimin from a distance while trying to figure out what exactly was wrong between them. She had always adored the girl whether with words or just by looking at her from across a room, but this was different despite the adoration. This always made her eyes look a certain way, a way that whenever Jimin caught Y/n looking at her she could tell what she was thinking and Jimin found herself leaving to wipe away her tears.

So Y/n was crouched down right by Jimin who was asleep on the bed, her head tilting as a small frown adorned her features in thought. The longer she thought the more it all felt like a pipe dream as her eyes lingered on the girl's soft features Y/n adored. The white duvet pulled up to her chin and the younger reached over to Jimin, gently grazing her fingers over the tender skin. Nothing about it had changed, it still felt as good as it always had under her fingertips.

She pushed back some of the loose strands away from the sleeping girl’s face before she pulled her hand away fully, scared that she would wake her up, that Jimin would pull away from her touch, that they would both freeze and then go back to pretending.

Y/n sighed at the feelings she couldn’t decipher anymore and her forehead rested on the edge of the bed for a few seconds as she closed her eyes tightly. Her fists clenched and so did her jaw to shut out everything, the landslide wiped away from her mind, the future too, the past stayed as she fished for the answers from the burning bridge. She was utterly confused, she was so lost in that field where everything had burned to the ground.

Where did it all go? When did it all disappear?

She deeply inhaled and raised her head, shakily letting out her breath, doing it slowly to not wake Jimin up. Her fingers peeled at the cover, the small bear coming into view that Jimin was hugging–it was Y/n’s childhood plushie, but the comfort that it had held once had been transferred to Jimin. She had no clue if Jimin had transferred it further or if she still held onto it. It felt too cold at times, but they were still hanging on to the daydream.

“Goodnight, angel.” Her fists gripped onto the sheets as she left a ghost-like peck against Jimin’s soft cheek while standing up before climbing carefully over the girl to lie down by the wall. Y/n got under the duvet and laid on her back, staring at the ceiling that was empty while her head raced with thoughts that would make falling asleep so much harder. The itch to hold each other, but the fear of it not feeling the same anymore kept them at a distance and so the ache grew, but the silence didn’t dissipate. It was loud enough to mask the sounds of the heartbreak.

Jimin heaved a sigh, her eyes opening in the silent room, knowing that Y/n was lying just behind her, but she wasn’t able to feel her. The simple peck, the brush of fingers against her skin, the goodnight, the innocent pet name; all made her eyes burn hot in the freezing weather that the room was in. It made her stiffen up her lower lip to try and keep them at bay, clutching the little bear harder, burying her nose into its brown fuzzy fur.

Each time she blinked her eyes its fur soaked up the tears, being the only witness of them, the only thing wiping them for her, holding her sorrows inside its small frame. She was afraid that it would overfill soon enough, that the bear would turn salty and bitter from her tears, and that it wouldn’t want to give her any more comfort because of that. She longed, but they flew apart and she couldn’t figure out what exactly she longed for as Jimin felt just as lost and confused about everything as Y/n was.

Was it all broken or just bent? She had no clue, Jimin didn’t even know what exactly it was that was wrong. Or maybe she knew just what was wrong, but pretended that she didn’t?

It echoed in Y/n’s head after the alarm had gone off around 6 AM and she had turned it off–their last rehearsal before they were off to Tokyo, Japan. What their mornings used to look like kept replaying in her head, the sounds of them like an echo of silence now because they no longer happened. There was no room filled with giggles despite it being early at dawn or noon. No words that were sweet affection were exchanged between them. There was no holding each other, hugging, kissing, and just being there with each other, close and content.

Neither could remember the last time they had said an ‘I love you’ to each other.

It used to be always in the mornings, before bed and throughout the day.

It made Y/n exhale while turning to lay on her back as they slept with their backs turned to each other. She tiredly stared at the ceiling unable not to look over at Jimin whose back was still turned to her, it was like a big ice wall fell and blocked them off. ‘It’s fine’ kept repeating itself in Y/n’s head as she pursed her lips and grabbed her phone to see that the time still flew and didn’t wait for them. It did not wait and they were wasting time away from each other when they could be making it meaningful.

The footsteps outside were heard now and Y/n knew that they didn’t have more time to sit and wallow in their sorrows of holding onto something that wasn’t there.

“We have to start getting up.” The girl mumbled just to make sure that the first alarm had managed to wake up Jimin. It did for Y/n because she hadn’t been able to fall into a deep slumber because of all the thoughts.

It was harsh, it was like a strong tornado carrying all types of feelings in it came through the room and cut through Y/n’s skin. “I know, Y/n.” The softness was gone and Y/n bit her lower lip because despite it all they hadn’t been like two snakes around each other, ready to bite and leave venom any second. They hadn’t tried to make it sting more than it already did, but it seemed impossible to do for too long.

The younger still caught the sweet scent of Jimin that made the moment slightly less bitter, reminding her of all the good times when she’d be drowned in the scent. The duvet was thrown off of Jimin who got up from the bed, grabbing the hoodie from the chair on her way and all she left behind was a whirlwind of unspoken emotions after leaving the door ajar when she walked out.

Y/n grabbed the little bear that fell beside her and stared at it, looking for answers in the tears she knew that Jimin was shedding every night. She pretended that she didn’t hear it, that she was asleep, that she simply didn’t know that she was making the girl cry. It was easier that way and in the morning she would look at the bear and still get no answers. She couldn’t acknowledge her silent cries because they would have to do something about everything if she did.

Practice went as usual, almost as usual for the two of them. They both wondered if the rest had noticed their lack of communication and how they occupied themselves with the others to not make eye contact by accident. If they did notice, it wasn’t like any of them would comment on it since Y/n and Jimin’s relationship wasn’t their business.

It didn’t even seem to be Jimin and Y/n’s business anymore as neither of them spoke about it.

Still half panting, Y/n sat on the couch with Minjeong as the two got engulfed in the Nintendo 3DS Y/n had brought with her. There was an emptiness that she hadn’t been able to grow used to, she had become so used to having someone always right next to her for the past three years. It wasn’t constant clinging to each other, but even the small things such as brushing their legs or glancing at each other. The loss of that made a void grow bigger each second and the only thing that would fill it was if things went back to how they used to be.

It made Y/n wonder if Jimin felt the same and so she glanced away from the game, her eyes landing on her girlfriend. She was so used to it so she wasn’t sure if it was Jimin specifically or just a habit that was hard to let go of now, all that affection. The girl was busy talking to Aeri and no matter what they were doing someone’s back was always turned to the other. Y/n’s hoodie-clad the girl’s upper body and Y/n tilted her head, thinking about how maybe that was what brought Jimin the comfort of having someone next to her, just the warmth and scent.

Their confusion about the situation was what made it hard for them to get back to the intimacy they used to share.

The door opened and Ning walked in with their manager, catching everyone’s attention as it got noisier when they started to all converse while making it to the couch. However, Y/n looked back down at the 3DS to occupy her eyes with something for a few more seconds to not try to figure out where Jimin would sit this time.

Aeri was about to sit on the wooden floor, her eyes seeing the lone spot left beside Y/n as Ning was already on the floor by Minjeong’s legs with her drink and one of the pastries. Jimin made sure to insist that she could take the spot, but it still left her in an awkward spot on the floor by Y/n’s legs. Her shoulder brushed against them, bumping into each other constantly and she couldn’t bring herself to sit still, especially not when all the emotions were bubbling inside her.

She couldn’t remember being this emotional before.

How else was she supposed to be when everything felt out of control and she had no clue what to do? There was nothing she could do no matter how hard she tried to catch everything only for it to slip right through her fingers.

Jimin wanted to cry when she took a sip of her drink and something just had to top it all off when her order seemed nothing but wrong. Everything in her life was crumbling, she was in pure distress and despair. However, things only could get worse–they had yet to reach the bottom–and not better because among the cold there was always a warmth as she tried to stop the pout on her lips while staring at her drink.

Jimin felt like a puddle of water in the middle of the road, no one appreciated them and walked around them and all they did was harbour filth; filth being these feelings that only grew bigger, the mess of a puddle becoming bigger too.

She looked up at the hand that took her drink, her glossy eyes meeting Y/n’s for a split second.

The younger felt a heat shoot through her body, it was as if she broke a limb at the pain that she felt seeing Jimin actually harbour these tears and not just cry at night when she thought that Y/n was asleep. It hurt her chest, she cared about Jimin, and she knew that she always would because before she became her lover she was her best friend and member. Maybe that's why it hurt even more. Y/n had no clue who she lost in this silent war they were stuck in.

Was she losing a lover? A best friend? A member?

“You can have mine.” Y/n knew her, Jimin hated it because it made everything even harder and Y/n could see the way the tears grew as quickly as a high tide in the girl’s eyes. She looked hurt, she was hurting, they were hurting, but they continued to do so without saying anything. Why could Y/n tell from a certain pout that Jimin wasn’t satisfied with her food or drink? Why did they have to be so caring for each other? It made cold things warm and they had no clue why things were cold to begin with.

They didn’t want to lose it.

She took the iced green tea she knew that Y/n loved and the younger took her drink. All it took was a sip of it and it all got overwhelming once again because the thoughts didn’t stop crashing inside of her head, exploding and occupying every corner of her mind. It made her wonder if Y/n was busy thinking the same things throughout her whole day too and the thought of being the only one to do so hurt immensely.

“I will be back–restroom.”

The girls hummed, going back to what they were doing as Jimin excused herself, leaving everything behind her and she wished she could do that with the reality that she didn’t want to live in. It was haunting her.

She missed the days when her biggest worries in a relationship were that the promised forever wouldn’t be long enough and not that everything had possibly dropped dead like flies around them, that the forever would never happen. It was a painfully slow dance in a burning room that neither of them left just to see if they could still survive once everything had crumbled fully and the smoke had filled their lungs.

Y/n knew that letting time pass would be too painful to sit through. Nothing was waiting for them. Even if it meant a bigger gap, she gave her 3DS to Minjeong who continued on the game while Y/n had become a pawn in a game no one was controlling. It was a game of chaos no one could cultivate anything out of, no order, no logic, no helpful solutions. This was a game of walking a thin line of nothing and everything.

It was too tiring, walking inside the bathroom felt like getting locked in the confines of a place where no one would ever find her, no one would see her. No one would see if Jimin broke down in the bathroom and it made relief wash over her and the tears spilled like a broken dam. That was all it took and she tried to calm down, but it wasn’t possible as she turned on the faucet, letting it run to drown out her snivels and deep breaths.

It was exhausting to be crying almost every day, she didn’t know what sleep was anymore and all she lived for was sorrow, she lived to continue hurting.

Why did they make something simple so complicated? Love was what made it complicated.

She used the pads of her palms and wiped at her eyes while tilting her head back and letting out a shaky breath. It felt like there was no calming down from this and each second only made it worse. The silence despite the running water, the echoes in the tiled bathroom, and the stalls empty.

Jimin could still remember all the other times she had been crying in the same bathroom when everything felt like it was all for nothing because she couldn’t feel fulfilment despite her achievements. She could remember the way her girlfriend would end up in the same bathroom, coaxing it all out of her, taking all her burdens and carrying them for her. Could Y/n do the same thing now when they both were in the same shoes?

Everything reminded her of Y/n except Y/n herself. They both felt distant and like different people.

Even the light knock on the door was familiar and she took in a shuddering breath, turning to look at Y/n when she opened the door. It fell closed right after, her hands in the pockets of her sweatpants, restricting herself from all those instincts that always kicked in. Her eyes followed the hesitance that was clear in Jimin’s body that pulled to Y/n, but with so much trouble as she held the sleeve of the hoodie against her trembling lips.

“Come on,” Y/n mumbled, knowing that it was all that was needed to get the girl to just break down fully. “It’s okay to not be okay,” she mumbled as she wrapped her arms around the girl’s shoulders who shook in her arms. The hot tears were burning against her pale skin, wetting her neck, trailing down and spilling like they never had before. Her cheek rested against the side of Jimin’s head, pulling her closer to her body, into her warmth because it was all still the same, but it felt different.

What was it that exactly wasn’t okay? It wasn’t just them themselves, but them together and it ended up making both of them not feel okay.

Jimin tightly wrapped her arms around Y/n’s waist, crying into her neck. She got pulled closer, her head being cradled by Y/n’s hand. All of it made it impossible to hold the walls up, the ones that were supposed to show that she wasn’t as bothered by it as she truly was. In reality, Jimin could barely breathe through it without falling into a panic attack. Hearing Y/n’s words, and hearing that it was okay made it so much easier to let it all out, especially when she was with the girl and held by her.

The reassurance that it was okay to cry about the landslide made it easier. Y/n recognised the burdens and Jimin wasn’t alone.

“I’m sorry for how I took it out on you in the morning.” Y/n only hummed, holding her close as Jimin had been a rose with its thorns aimed at Y/n since they woke up. From the harsh words to the ways she blatantly shut her out even when it was a small question not to her girlfriend but to the leader of Aespa. Jimin was scared and it was affecting her role as a leader too, as a member of the group. The fear was consuming her life fully and was getting in the way of everything.

“I’m just so tired and I can barely sleep at night.” Or maybe she could sleep just fine but chose to cry at night instead of closing her eyes. She woke up more tired each day, every little second got more exhausting than the other.

“I know, I’m sorry for all of this.” The younger knew all about it, but what she didn’t know was what exactly she was apologising for. Y/n knew that Jimin was crying at night because of what was happening between them, but she knew that it wasn’t her fault or Jimin’s. It was natural, it would have happened at some point, right? Y/n inhaled, closing her eyes because it hurt her, but seeing how much it affected Jimin made it hurt so much more and it made everything more complicated.

“We can’t keep going without knowing where it’s all heading. I’m confused and–” Y/n stopped her before they got too deep into the truth because neither of them was ready to let go just yet, neither wanted to end it just yet. They needed some more time, some more time to find more than just one option to end their pain. There always was more than one choice.

She pulled away from Jimin, her upper body lingered with the warmth that the shorter girl left after her. Jimin gripped at Y/n’s sweater, knowing that once they let go they would be apart for what would feel like years again. The void between them would become even bigger than it already was and they would avoid it for much longer.

“I care about you, nothing will change that and it’s all fine, Jimin.” She held her face cupped in her hands, tears hitting her skin as the girl looked up at her with quivering eyes. They knew that these false paintings of their relationship would make them feel better for now. Not in the long run, but they tried to live in the present–it didn’t matter if they reminisced and avoided the problems of the present.

Jimin blinked her eyes, trying her best to run into the daydream, trying to escape reality. Her eyes closed, hoping that she would be thrown into her daydream as Y/n kissed her forehead.

She missed the pretty sunset sky, the fireworks, the green grass, the clouds that came in different shapes and would be fluffy. It was like a childish dream and possibly some people had been right when they said that young love was complicated. It wasn’t like they cared, they had always felt like teenagers in love with each other.

Why wasn’t it working though? Where did it all go? It no longer felt like a daydream. It no longer felt like it used to do.

It was so difficult to grasp something that physically wasn’t there, neither of them could grasp it, at the feelings. Love was so beautifully painful the way it painted them with all these different colours. The canvas would always be filled with them and to the eye it would always be beautiful but to the souls that served as the canvas it would always be heaven and hell. Among white there was blue, among blue there was green, among green there was red and it went on.

The daydream was constantly corrupted by the harsh reality.

It was like walking a tightrope.

The smallest mistakes felt deadly.

The stupidest mistakes.

It would be laughable if it weren’t for the fact that there was so much on the line.

It was part of the social culture and Y/n had happened to fall victim to it because a few cigarettes had turned into a pack or two a week. What were her reasons? Probably all that went on in her hectic life, but it hadn’t been easy to sneak around with an addiction. It got especially hard when the dorm arrangements changed because she and Jimin got together.

Y/n had managed to sneak around for a whole two months. All it took was one week of sharing a room with Jimin who gave up on pretending that she didn’t notice the lingering smell of tobacco on Y/n and slowly herself.

‘Fine, I will quit for you.’

‘Not for me. For yourself and your health.’

‘Doing it for you makes it easier.’

‘Only if you don’t start doing it again. It will hurt to think that doing it for me wasn’t enough.’

‘I promise.’

Even the simplest promises were being broken. It felt all the more hopeless.

It was hard, to say the least with starting to dose down on how much she smoked until it was nothing at all. Y/n had never thought of herself as someone who grew addicted easily, but nicotine turned out to be a bitch and even a year and a half after quitting the cravings came back. There were certain times when they were extra tempting, it made her irritated and restless. It was times like these that she always had her substitutes for them, from nicotine patches to nicotine gum or simply Jimin.

This time it felt like Jimin was the cause of the cravings.

The world around them no longer felt real because of how they had surrounded themselves in a fake reality.

“Did you slam the door in my face?” Venom, that was what Jimin spat out, pure venom behind her words as she locked the door to the green room. The rest were out and talking to their label mates, but it was better to make sure they didn’t walk in if they came back earlier. The last thing Jimin or Y/n wanted was for the rest to notice that everything around them was crumbling, that it had all become a smoke screen.

Y/n inhaled deeply, rummaging through her stuff, ignoring the clatter as she was on the brink of losing it. “I didn’t and if I did, it wasn’t intentionally. I had no fucking clue you were behind me.” It was a low mutter, but it was just as poisonous as Jimin’s tone which had been louder. At the back of her head, Y/n had been expecting Jimin to be right behind her, she was the whole reason why she was buzzing with cravings.

“You slammed it in my face and an apology wouldn’t hurt you, Y/n.” Jimin had no clue why she was letting it drag on. She could have dropped it, she was aware that Y/n didn’t know and even if she did, Jimin knew she deserved ten more doors slammed closed in her face.

“You want me to apologise?” Y/n snapped that easily and it had never happened between the two of them–the cravings only made it worse together with the tension of constantly being on their guard not to let anything slip past them.

They never really fought to begin with. All those small fights that never meant anything, that never held any real frustrations, it was different now. Those pent-up emotions came out and spilled right over the head of the other. Y/n wanted to throw it at Jimin because her girlfriend had been doing it since they landed in Tokyo. They were being petty for the sake of being it and not for any good causes. Y/n tossed the stuff onto the table, ignoring the even louder clatter of the things and continued to look through her stuff.

“Called manners.” She commented. It was like she knew that something so simple would irk Y/n more than she already was, especially in this state.

“Oh, so Karina wants to talk manners.” Y/n huffed and turned around, leaning back against the table. Her arms crossed as she gripped onto her arms, hiding the tremor in her fingers as the anger and everything else was overwhelming. She hated fighting with the girl, but it felt inevitable when they were alone in the room with so much tension already lingering between them.

The past couple of fights they’ve had been nothing but hurtful with no apologies after, pretending it never happened to begin with.

Jimin’s eyes squinted at the words, Y/n barely called her by her stage name even when they were on stage. Hearing her bring it up was enough to let her know what Y/n was pointing at.

Jimin was falling under the pressure of juggling work and a relationship she could no longer figure out. It had never been a problem for them, but she felt like she had failed her role in the group by letting personal conflicts get in the way.

Nonetheless, it would be impossible to admit to now when they were in an argument that grew by the second.

“Don’t comment on my work ethic when you barely have yours under control. You’re being sensitive.” She argued, knowing very well that she had been letting her complex emotions and confusion about where she and Y/n were heading get in the way of her professionalism.

“You’re the one crying over a door.” Y/n scoffed in disbelief, pointing at the door in question that was behind Jimin. The girl pulled on the strings of her hoodie in frustration at Y/n’s words. It only fueled her on, she couldn’t remember being able to get this angry with Y/n before, she had never thought that she could get angry with her. Or maybe it wasn’t anger that she felt towards Y/n, but just frustration because of how confusing their relationship had turned. How dead it was.

Maybe she was angry at herself, at the world, or at how confusing love could be. She was angry at the fact that they let it die to begin with.

“Because you slammed it in my face!” This time she let her voice fly way above what she imagined she would, her foot stomping down in frustration. The tears welled up in her eyes so easily, that constant haunting fragile mentality as everything was hurting and it didn’t let her breathe.

“Because you are doing a shit job at being a leader!” Y/n watched Jimin pace around, watching how desperately she tried to get rid of her tears. Those tears of frustration, not knowing how else to take it out she yelled at Y/n and cried, but there was only so much that could cover her tears now.

“Don’t comment on my work ethic, Y/n.” She repeated and found herself in front of Y/n, it almost felt dangerous to be so close to each other at a moment like this. It was scary because they had never had these fights and being so close to what used to be just comfort felt wrong, it felt wrong to bring these feelings into their safety net.

It ruined their purpose, the place they went to when they wanted to escape these feelings, the pressure, the world. It was all truly gone, wasn’t it?

She could feel it all spiral, leaving them with no control over what happened between them in the room.

“Someone has to when you forget how to separate relationships from work. Be a fucking leader and answer a fucking question instead of shutting me out because of our personal life.”

“It’s not easy when this is what it looks like!” She threw her arms, motioning to the mess they were together, the one they both had been avoiding because of how complicated it was. It was hard not to notice, but impossible to truly acknowledge and so it all mixed into everything else.

“Nothing is ever easy for you, is it? That’s why I always become your punching bag when things go wrong.” The words left Y/n bitterly, her hands gripping onto the table behind her as she exhaled these deep breaths that helped with nothing. Watching Jimin with tears in her eyes wasn’t helping, but Y/n felt like the girl had been trampling all over her. She was using her title as a leader and girlfriend in a nonchalant way, she was neglecting Y/n as a member and not a lover.

“That’s not true and you know it.” Jimin knew that it was all true, her tone faltering as she would feel even more guilty if she raised her voice to spit out lies. It hurt too much to say the truth of the situation.

“It has been even more true lately,” Y/n muttered, her eyes leaving Jimin’s.

It felt like the woman in front of her was trying to coax her into forgiving her without Jimin having to apologise. Y/n was done doing those things. She couldn’t put it all aside like all the other times when she accepted Jimin’s apologies she never even said. The ones where Y/n blatantly admitted to being wrong even when she wasn’t because she didn’t want to fight or see Jimin cry.

“Because–because—” Now came the difficult part for Jimin who had no good excuse for this and she knew that she was wrong. The problem bigger than this one was her pride and ego, they got in the way, especially now after how tense everything has been.

“It doesn’t matter. Nothing is changing.” It made Jimin’s heart drop, Y/n’s stomach twisting at her own words that she never wanted to say. It was what it felt like though.

She gently grabbed Jimin’s shoulder to have her step aside as she stood up to walk out the door.

“Don’t say that.” A quiver fell from between her lips, a lump in Jimin’s throat that cut deep and made it all bleed much worse than it already was. Her hand grabbed Y/n’s to have her stay because, in the end, she didn’t want her lover to leave, not just yet and she quickly stopped in front of Y/n. She would never accept those words, not now at least because hearing them made her lightheaded, it made her chest clench and she wanted to collapse onto the floor to be swallowed before she could feel more pain.

“Where’s our manager? I need her to buy cig–”

“You’re not smoking just because things go wrong for us!” It wasn’t possible to speak with a quivering voice, it was too soft so she raised her voice again. She still cared about Y/n as a member, friend, lover and person, it didn’t matter what was going on between them. Jimin would always care about Y/n. Her hand bunched up the material of Y/n’s shirt in her hand as to keep the girl from leaving her. She refused to let go, in the end, she wasn’t supposed to want anything else but Y/n and even if her feelings were different she clung to that idea.

That there was only one person for the both of them.

“Is this something else you want to cry about!? You didn’t bring my shit with you because you’re being petty and expect me to break habits.” It had become a habit, Jimin had become someone Y/n relied on with most of her things. If Jimin had been packing certain things for her it had become a habit that she would do it every time and it never crossed Y/n’s mind to do it herself anymore.

It had never bothered Jimin either and now it was doing nothing but pissing both of them off. Those flaws they had accepted and learned to love before were nothing but a hassle to deal with now and they wanted the other to erase them and change. To change so they could learn to love these new people they would become.

“If you said that you quit for me then fucking keep the promise or will you break them all just because it isn’t working out for us at the moment? And I’m not your mother, Y/n, why do you rely on me packing your fucking things!” She shoved Y/n by the shoulder, wanting to get her away from her even for a split second because she was boiling over with emotions. It would never end well no matter who they were fighting with when there were too many emotions.

Jimin felt conflicted at her own pushing and pulling as she one second wanted no one but Y/n and the other second she couldn’t stand the girl.

“Everything I did for you feels like a waste at the moment when all you give me is headaches, Jimin.” Y/n’s voice was rough and loud, ignoring that they had more performances tomorrow. Jimin could feel the vibrations in her ribcage and she harshly wiped away the tears. It felt like Y/n didn’t deserve her tears at this exact moment, not after those words. She snivelled, still unable to stop them though because how couldn’t she cry when this was what they were now?

They continuously watched what they used to be washed away with each wave that clashed with their shore and dragged away the good to leave filth behind instead.

“I fucking regret even giving you an ounce of my time and life because you’re nothing but a pain to look after. You don’t get to be angry at me because I had to worry about not forgetting my stuff and yours on top of everything!” She couldn’t help but feel like all the blame was now coming her way and maybe she had let Y/n get too comfortable. Jimin couldn’t help it then, but the longer it went on the more she realised that it wouldn’t work that way.

“You’re like a manchild for fuck’s sake.” Jimin groaned out as it continued to dawn upon her how much of an immature child Y/n could be. Had she been blind all this time? Why did she suddenly mind it? Why were these words even leaving her mouth when she had always loved and accepted Y/n for the person that she was? Were they just looking for reasons to make it all stop?

“You made it a habit and I stuck to it. Suck it up the same way I have to suck up when I’m your punching bag whenever things don’t go your way.” Y/n couldn’t help but truly realise how much she always let Jimin get away with. The things she would say, the things she would do that hurt, Y/n always forgave her for every little thing because Jimin could do no wrong in her eyes. Jimin was spiralling right now because Y/n hadn’t forgiven her yet for how she had been pushing the younger girl around for the past few days as a member of the same group.

Here she was, still letting the woman in front of her shove her around and blame her for her own mistakes. The way she always forgave Jimin within seconds when she saw tears in her eyes even if Jimin was in the wrong. Y/n felt played by the older now as she realised how their dynamic had worked.

Y/n would always be the one to take the blame even when it wasn’t hers to take.

Jimin would always be the one to suffer from how much she took on herself willingly because Y/n couldn’t do it.

“You were playing video games instead of packing even after you saw how stressed I was with my stuff. You got upset over your motion sickness patches, your headphones, fucking lenses and now your gum. I’m fucking surprised you packed your clothes!”

“I’m sorry that I couldn’t even enter the room without you getting pissed off because I would breathe. I’m not the one being immature but you, Jimin. You are the one who mixed our relationship into work, you’re the one who isn’t professional–” The older girl could feel herself boil over with anger with each point that Y/n made, each word pushing her closer to the edge. She felt like the points Y/n made were being invalidated, Y/n had yet to accept it for what it was and Jimin hated having the truth about herself being pointed out this way.

“–the one to force habits and then thinking you can just switch them up within a second because you suddenly don’t like what you wanted. Not the whole world revolves around you, but you’ve been too fucking selfish lately to realise it.” Despite all the coldness between them and all that seemed gone, they hung on because every day small things happened that gave them hope–small gestures were enough and they were brought back to the past. It felt as if Jimin hadn’t been trying to work towards each other, but away from each other. “I’m always looking out for you and caring for you.”

Jimin was simply too scared to move anywhere at all because it felt like the smallest mistake would make what was left fall apart fully. She felt paralysed by how scared she was of the truth. It was like having bricks constantly pile on her chest, it was difficult to breathe with them there, and it was difficult to move with them there. The girl felt like she was chained to the pits of hell while staring up at heaven in hopes of it coming down to her.

What it ended with was it looked like she was selfish for being too scared to move, as if she wanted the world to revolve around her. And maybe if it did it would make everything easier for her.

“Go fuck yourself Y/n and stop trying to make yourself look like a hero when you make as many mistakes as I do.” Jimin scoffed and wiped at her eyes as she pushed past Y/n, they both felt completely neglected and invalidated by the other. The reality of what it always has been wasn’t easy to swallow because it had never bothered them until now. She was aware that she made mistakes, but Y/n made them too and couldn’t claim the title of a hero when they did as much caring as they did hurting.

Y/n turned on her heels as Jimin pushed past her, she could see the anger, despair and distress clouding her. It was like a grey cloud over their heads, constantly being there for them when they didn’t want it. “It doesn’t excuse your mistakes either and considering my girlfriend won’t do it, yeah, I will ‘cause she’s too busy being stuck up.” Y/n could tell that the last of her words were too much, that they were too disrespectful and insensitive, and that she shouldn’t even be thinking about it right now. Maybe Jimin was right about being nothing but a ‘manchild’.

Y/n truly felt the consequences of her words when Jimin felt them dig deep into her heart and it was enough to throw everything else out. It was just for a second and she knew she could regret it and feel guilty about it later. The stinging on her palm would subside, but feeling disrespected by Y/n for the first time in her life would linger far longer as she turned back around and landed it across the younger’s cheek.

“You’re an immature fucking child, Y/n. I’m not just for your pleasure and needs, so fucking respect me.” She spat out, holding onto the girl’s shirt with her stinging hand as it all shut Y/n up. The two were able to very clearly see through each other like glass, it wasn’t even like glass, but air from how clear it was and all they could see was pain and hurt. They caused each other pain and hurt and everything else they used to make each other feel was gone—but then came those moments where it wasn’t gone even if it was for a second and so they held on.

They both felt horrible as Jimin grabbed her things while wiping her tears, not sparing Y/n more glances. All she knew was that she needed to cry to let it all subside for even a bit. Y/n slumped down on the couch, the nicotine cravings slapped out of her. She held her cold palm against her cheek trying to ease the pulsating pain she knew she deserved and Jimin did too as they both were suffering for keeping each other chained down.

Maybe they had never been perfect, to begin with.

Were all these things stuff they had always wanted to say and they now took the opportunity to do so since everything was already falling apart? Did they hold back on saying these things before because they were scared that they would ruin everything? Or were these things something that should have been brought up a long time ago to make it work out?

They couldn’t answer that. No one could because it was too late.

Jimin had known that she would feel bad after, that the guilt would eat at her. She was terrified that their relationship had taken a new step forward, towards a goal they didn’t want to reach when Y/n slept in Minjeong’s hotel room. The two peers–in age–were close in the end and so Jimin spent the night tossing and turning wondering if the truth would come out now. That their love was under ruins, crushed and bleeding to death, setting the truth in stone and burying what they used to have six feet under to start a new life.

She wondered if Y/n spent the whole night awake. Jimin could barely fall asleep knowing they were in the same bed, but with their backs turned to each other, let alone after what happened. She could barely sleep because of how her insides twisted in hopes of escaping to get away from the excruciating pain. The part of them being away after what went down only made her even more anxious.

The girl got her answers the next day when Y/n was tired and Minjeong went on about her day without a single knowing glance or word.

They had avoided each other unless they were on stage, but the second they came off it was back to normal. The new normal, they both missed the old normal but they seemingly couldn’t go back to it.

Or so they thought because once again all that they had been missing poured over them like a rainstorm.

The simple idea for all of them to go out and eat after the days of performing. There had been an undoubtful tension between the two and not for the same reason they would like to think. It felt horrible to sit beside each other without having apologised for what had happened. However, the longer they sat at the table the closer they seemed to get, but it could have been the alcohol in their veins.

“I swear, it’s the first time these two aren’t all over each other.”

Y/n felt a slight heat shoot through her, one of anxiety at Ning’s drunken words because now everyone seemed aware of the situation. It could have been the fact that they dared to speak up about it when they were drunk. Y/n didn’t know what it was, but she toyed with one of the side dishes, knowing that she and Jimin always got more affectionate when they were drunk.

“Tired, that’s all…” Y/n mumbled, trailing off as she looked over at Jimin who sat right beside her–the rest continuing the chatter. The two had been coming closer and closer with each shot of soju and every beer they finished. They could feel the other's heat on them, craving each other in this state no matter what had happened between them for the past months. They craved the affection of the other so much that it hurt, it was boiling from the inside and they were waiting for the other to cave in so they could be close.

She watched for a second more as Jimin struggled with the marinated perilla leaf, lip between her teeth as she gently swayed, going over her limit this time. Y/n would always be the one to cave in for the older girl. Jimin rarely drank more than she could handle and even that was a lot, but Y/n could tell she was trying to drown herself further. The older woman was already drowning in all her emotions and trying to drown them in alcohol only intensified it all and Jimin felt like she would burst any second and start begging in front of everyone else.

Y/n turned in her seat the slightest, her attention on the woman who was still the most beautiful one she had ever seen. The one she desired, but it was all so different no matter how beautiful they both were to each other. Her right hand reached over to Jimin, brushing the hair behind her ear and reaching with her left for the leaf.

Eyes were glossed over, like polished glass from alcohol when Jimin finally looked up and Y/n picked up the leaf, her hand still holding back the hair so it wouldn’t get in the way.

It was crushing both of them. Jimin felt her world brighten up with hope that had no space in their world anymore, but she wasn’t letting go yet. Y/n fed her with eyes gazing over Jimin’s features, feeling excruciating pain at the fact that she had made her cry, at the fact that they kept hurting each other unintentionally by holding on. It was worth it when these moments still managed to slip through the cracks and let in some light.

Y/n let go of the latter's hair and wrapped her arm around Jimin’s waist when she leaned into her, resting her weight on Y/n’s side. Her hands found Y/n’s warmth as they pushed under the girl's loose sweater, doing all the holding on that she could.

“I miss you.” They were sentimental words as Jimin gently whispered, her breath brushing over Y/n’s neck and the younger girl pulled her closer. Y/n took in a deep breath at how homesick she felt for a home she no longer had. They missed each other, they missed what they used to have, but no longer did and it dug into their hearts with no care, tearing them into pieces at how messy it felt.

“I miss you–miss us,” Y/n mumbled, their world shutting the rest out, inhaling the smog-filled air of everything that had burned down to ashes. Jimin hummed as her eyes closed, hoping that the drunk sentiment would be able to suffice for now even if it was for just one night. All they needed was one night to figure it out, to get to feel what they missed and see if they could bring it all back to life. She felt Y/n’s soft lips press against her head and she nuzzled her face further into the scent that used to be a home and now was only what was left of one.

Her lips gently pressed over Y/n’s skin, her nails gently scratching over Y/n’s back as she moved her other hand up. She cupped the younger’s face, thumb caressing the porcelain-like skin she deeply regretted putting her hand on but she couldn’t regret it when she thought back on what they said to each other. Jimin deserved to suffer for her actions and Y/n deserved to suffer just as much. They would continue until they did the necessary.

Y/n got her head tilted down and looked at Jimin who rested her head against the younger’s shoulder. Her eyes pleaded for a remedy for all the heartbreak even if it was for just one night. To just get away from reality for a few hours. Her fingers brushed over Y/n’s cheek. Y/n gave a small nod and reached over for the beer she had left, finishing it and hoping it would all last long enough and not end the way it did a few days ago.

“Will you guys mind if we leave early?” The girl asked, but it was already set in stone as she grabbed her jacket and helped Jimin up. They looked over at the two who were closer to each other than they had been for the past few months as Y/n put her jacket over Jimin.

“Not at all,” Aeri replied, the rest humming in agreement.

It was a short walk to the hotel, wrapped up in each other the whole way and not letting go for a second as they walked in silence, scared to let go or say something that would make it difficult to be this way again.

They at last did let go as they walked inside the hotel room, but it all shifted for a second as Y/n kicked off her shoes and sat down at the foot of the bed. There was no escaping this landslide, the clash that destroyed so much as she missed what she used to have with Jimin, but had no clue if they could get that back. It tied knots around her heart and tugged on it constantly.

The latter managed to get her shoes off, the jacket falling after her as she walked over to Y/n. Despite the slight blur, she could see clearly through everything else and now was the only time she knew she could apologise.

It used to be easier.

“Y/n…”

The girl took a deep breath and looked away from her hands and at Jimin who kneeled beside her. Her chin rested against Y/n’s thigh as she stared up at her girlfriend, her lower lip slightly jutted out. The younger one hummed, her hand running through Jimin’s hair as she caressed her scalp gently, missing the touch of someone else. The back of her fingers trailed over Jimin’s cold cheek who grabbed hold of Y/n’s hand, intertwining their fingers.

The silence braced them as they stared at each other, heads tilting, ears filling with the heavy yet soft breaths from alcohol-filled veins, the buzz of the outside world only faint. That silence of acceptance of what their love was, what it used to be and how it no longer was.

Jimin heaved a sigh and rested her cheek against Y/n’s thigh, staring off into the dimly lit hotel room. The sentiment of sorrow, sadness and nostalgia as everything had become too farro reach now and it would be hard to save anything. If they could continue to pretend then everything would go back to being fine. If they lived a lie long enough, it would become their reality.

“I’m sorry about the other day—” She mumbled, slumped on the floor and her gaze moved as she tilted her head to look Y/n in the eye. Their eyes connected, filled with the buzz of alcohol, and the perception of the fake reality they had created in their head washed over them. Those small gestures that made hope wash over them wouldn’t change anything, would they? They didn’t want to think about it. “I shouldn’t have raised my hand,” her lips momentarily formed into a pout at the disdain she felt for her actions.

Jimin knew there was no excuse for it even if she felt like an emotional wreck. They were losing control and it was starting to deeply affect them. They were going full speed through crossings with no hands on the wheels, covering their eyes to not look at the truth and soon enough they would crash right into a wall.

“It’s okay, it’s fine,” Y/n always let Jimin get away with everything and nothing would probably ever change that.

Jimin shook her head, lifting it from Y/n’s thigh as she got up to stand on her two feet. Y/n’s fingers tangled into the sweatshirt the girl had on as she stood between her legs. Despite the slight tremors in Jimin’s fingers, buzzing with more than just alcohol, but also a surge of feelings, the uncertainty, longing, feelings of loss and hope; she cupped Y/n’s face in her hands. Her touch was soft as Y/n’s glimmering eyes met her.

“I shouldn’t have acted the way I did either.” Y/n mumbled, closing her eyes and resting in Jmin’s hands who caressed her features with her thumbs. They still would always melt at the affection because it was normal to crave, but it didn’t feel like it used to. Aside from it feeling good, those other things didn’t spread across them. “I’m sorry.”

That sorry felt like it was for more than what happened in that room and Jimin knew it. She knew that the apology was because they both genuinely felt bad for letting a promise of forever die.

‘I love you.’

‘Never stop loving me, Y/n.’

‘I will love you forever, I promise.’

‘I will love you forever, Y/n, I will always care about you.’

‘Don’t cry, Jimin, I’m always here for you.’

Jimin deeply exhaled and closed her eyes before she could let the tears even form and with a lump in her throat she closed the gap between them. Their lips met in a kiss to suckle on the hope left in them. It was eagerness, it was to forget and not to remember. Y/n’s hands grabbed hold of Jimin’s hips, pulling her closer.

They tilted their heads to meet tongues that tasted as bitter as the beer they had and the longing for what they had lost, as sweet as the sake they downed and the reverie they lived in. It was with desperation because it felt like it was the last of them that was left and they would do everything to latch onto it and stick forever. The forever they had promised.

Jimin ran her fingers through Y/n’s hair, pushing deeper, wanting to feel more, she needed more. She needed Y/n, she missed the touch against her body and that was all that it felt like for them now. The fulfilment of each other’s needs and nothing else as Jimin discarded Y/n’s sweater, letting it fall to the floor. Her cool hands ran over the warm skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps, emotions swirling under their skin as they pulled away to remove Jimin’s top.

Their eyes locked, looking for something, searching, but they had no clue what they were trying to find anymore. It ended quicker than expected and their lips met once again, meeting tongues and letting out desperate sounds. Y/n’s fingertips grazed over Jimin’s skin as if the girl was made of gold, the gentle and careful touch making the latter bubble with more need. She ran them over her sides, tracing every ridge, coming to her spine with one hand as the other slid over her ribs until she reached the hem of Jimin’s jeans.

With ease she undid them and as they fell to the floor the older girl straddled Y/n who huffed at the weight that pressed down against her growing cock. As Jimin looked Y/n in the eye, the girl reached over to her face, brushing away the black strands of hair. She could still see a sparkle in Y/n’s eyes, but it was flickering. It wasn’t there for the same reasons that it used to sparkle. This was for the lust that would always linger inside their veins.

“Make me feel good, you owe me this,” Jimin mumbled, knowing that they both owed each other this for the things they had been putting the other through for the past months. This was finally their chance to make the other feel good in a way that was more than just sentimental. There was no sentiment in lust because it had never been part of it, but now it ruled them.

She grabbed Y/n’s hand which was still by her face and captured those sweet lips while guiding the hand to the back of her bra. Jimin trailed her kisses away from Y/n’s lips and along her jawline, slowly going further and nuzzling her nose into her neck. The scent was still one of her favourites. She took it in and ran her tongue over the skin before wrapping her lips around it.

It made Y/n stall with the bra, a faint whimper falling from between her lips as Jimin slowly started to gyrate her hips, rolling her heat against Y/n’s that was straining against her jeans. “I want your lips on me Y/n.” She breathed out against the red mark, wanting to feel the pleasure, they both wanted to be brought out of this hell they had painted as heaven. This was their chance.

Y/n bit her lower lip, her neck being plated with kisses by Jimin all while the girl continued to press against her cock, grinding slowly while releasing shaky breaths between kisses. The girl managed to undo the bra and only then did her girlfriend pull away, letting Y/n remove it fully whose eyes focused on her chest right away. Jimin’s words hadn’t fallen deaf to her ears and all she wanted was to give the girl exactly what she wanted. This was the only thing that they could make work.

“I love every inch of you.” Any other time the words would burn within Jimin’s soul and leave their mark and they had done so permanently, but they no longer reached as deep. They were all for the outside as they had changed from the inside towards each other.

Her fingers tangled at the back of Y/n’s head, gently making her look her in the eye as she tilted her head. “Show me instead.” It was like a whisper, her lips ghosting Y/n’s, knowing that she would be able to feel more from actions rather than words now.

Y/n manoeuvred them, laying Jimin down on the bed, legs wrapped around her waist as she stood by the edge of the bed. The girl bunched up the duvet beside Jimin’s head, taking one last look at her chest before she leaned down to show how much she appreciated her body. With fingers tangled in her hair and nails scratching her scalp Y/n started to leave scorching kisses along Jimin’s skin.

Her tongue soothed over the pulse, tenderly kissing down, her kisses tickling as she trailed down, taking in the soft hums and breaths that the girl let out. She came down to her collarbones, grazing her teeth over them, leaving her marks after her as those were the only good ones they managed to leave on each other now. Everything that went deeper hurt.

A faint gasp left Jimin’s mouth when lips fervently latched onto her chest, all the heat running through her body and shooting straight to her aching clit. “Fuck,” was all that she could mutter at the warm tongue playing with her nipple, sucking on the tender flesh. Y/n’s devotion to what was left of them was shown through the way she consumed her flesh, leaving her bites to linger.

Y/n moved her mouth to the other nipple, her hand coming down to fondle the older’s chest. It was enough for more sounds to start coming from Jimin at the way her nipples were being played with and her chest littered with kisses. It made her thighs tense around Y/n’s waist, pulling her closer and when the rough material pressed against her cunt a moan fell from her lips. The younger girl hummed, pressing more against Jimin while toying with the hard nipples with her mouth and fingers, twisting and pulling, touching her in a way only she knew.

It was yet another thing that was hard to let go of. The fact that they knew each other’s bodies so well and knew exactly what to do. It was all working against what should be done and driving them towards pipe dreams.

Her chest heaved, losing her words as they all came out breathless, being greedy for more to fill all the emptiness that had been growing for the past months. “You’re so good, baby.” She hummed, her eyes closing as her mind finally went empty, it went silent with everything else and all they could focus on was the moment and not what was and what would be. It was enough to make Y/n’s hips press more into Jimin, slowly moving them for friction while leaving the older’s chest glistening.

She slowly started to move down further, kissing along the heaving slim stomach until she was on her knees in front of Jimin. The lacy black underwear seeped through with her arousal and Y/n’s fingers hooked at their hem, looking up at Jimin who was sitting up and looking down at her with lust-clouded eyes. She leaned back against her palms, raising her hips and letting Y/n peel off the last piece of her body.

Her hands ran over Jimin’s thighs, spreading her legs further apart while biting onto her lower lip at the view of her glistening pussy that was leaking with juices. She lifted the girl’s leg and rested it over her shoulder before she started to kiss along her inner thighs, gently biting and sucking on the soft flesh as her hands needily kneaded them. It made Jimin heave a sigh, her hand coming to grab hold of Y/n’s head, dwelling in the feeling of the butterfly kisses left along her inner thighs.

Through her hooded eyes, she watched Y/n, making eye contact every time the younger looked up through her lashes for approval of what she was doing despite knowing Jimin’s body better than most things. Her fingers pressed into the flesh as her arm was wrapped around one of her thighs, inching closer until she reached the girl’s heat. It was enough to make the older girl squirm the slightest when she got pulled closer to the edge before feeling the wet muscle drag between her folds.

Y/n grabbed hold of her waist with her free hand, holding Jimin in place to not have her squirm too much. Her tongue ran between her folds, spreading the wetness as she dipped her head and circled the grasping hole. The grip on her hair tightened, ears being filled with soft moans and whimpers as she continued to work her tongue and lips around the puffy cunt. She sucked on her lips, enjoying the mess that was spreading on her chin, lapping every little bit up to get more on her tongue.

Jimin slowly felt herself lose her mind at the teasing tongue, Y/n taking her time to continue working her up. The need continued to bubble inside her, her clit throbbing for attention and her hole clenching as she wanted to be filled until she would feel numb in the brain for at least a few minutes. This was finally something they could grasp at, the escape from everything even the daydream they had created, getting to a real one even if it wouldn’t last too long.

The light moans filled the hotel room when Y/n’s lips at last wrapped around her swollen clit, her tongue coming out to flick at the bud. The pace between slow and fast, sucking and flicking was making Jimin’s thighs tremble around the girl’s head. Her fingers were tangled in Y/n’s hair, pulling her closer to her pussy as her hips faintly bucked at the pleasure.

Y/n drowned, getting as much pleasure from drowning between Jimin’s soft thighs as the girl above her was feeling from the tongue that was toying with her needy cunt. She caressed her heaving stomach with her other hand, kneading the plush flesh of her thigh as she felt Jimin pull her further into her with her leg that was on her shoulder.

“Fuck, Y/n–” She whined, her breathing picking up and growing heavier the longer her clit was played with. She could feel it all slowly approaching her and soon enough she would reach the edge and fall off of it.

The girl dipped her head, her nose rubbing against the swollen clit and her tongue lapped at the juices. The room filled with the sopping sounds of Jimin’s pussy and moans and Y/n’s mouth messily eating her out, moaning at the taste and tugs on her hair, her cock throbbing at how good it felt. With the sticky mess collected on her tongue, she circled her clit and went back to flicking at it and tugging with her lips.

“So close, ‘m so close, baby.”

Her body started to tense up, Y/n’s ears muffled at how the thighs locked around her head with her head being held in place. It made her sore tongue work harder to be able to hear Jimin’s voice go up higher.

That was enough for the older girl to lose her control and the sounds started to spill from her mouth, moaning Y/n’s name in a high pitch. Her body got consumed by heat as her vision blacked out and her ears started to buzz when the orgasm hit its peak as Y/n continued to flick at her clit. It was making her whine and buck her hips for more until she felt herself crash back down to reality. She heaved for air, loosening her grip on Y/n’s hair and the girl slowed down, only leaving small kisses along her skin that was scorching.

When she got back up on her feet their lips met in a vivid kiss, Jimin’s hands working on Y/n’s jeans to undo the loose material. She tugged them down together with Y/n’s boxers, her hand wrapping around the thick cock that was scalding in her hold as she pumped it, smearing the precum as she reached the swollen tip. The whimpers that fell from Y/n’s lips were swallowed by Jimin, moaning into the intense kiss.

She pulled Y/n down, making her lay down on the bed, the younger girl moved back until she was in the middle of the bed, leaning against her elbows. Her eyes were on Jimin who got on the bed before crawling over to her. They got engulfed in each other's heat as she straddled Y/n who slumped back, running her hands over the girl’s thighs and to the back of her ass to caress it.

“No one knows me like you do.” She whispered, leaning down and letting her lips brush over Y/n’s with her fingers tracing along her jawline. No one knew Jimin like Y/n did and no one knew Y/n like Jimin did and even if it looked the way it did, they carried that fact with pride. She pecked the girl's lips, pulling away and letting Y/n chase after her as she tried to grab hold of Jimin’s face, but got her hands pinned down to the bed.

“Jimin–” She tried although was cut off as she let her head fall back against the mattress, fingers twisting the duvet as her wrists were held down by the girl on top of her.

“I hate that now.” She admitted, hating that no one knew her as well as Y/n and that no one would ever get to know her as well again. They had learned from their mistakes and now no one would ever be able to compare. There was no one she would open up to like this again, not when it hurt so much when it all died. They didn’t want to go through this pain twice when they never wanted to experience it to begin with.

“I know.” Jimin huffed, her lips brushing over Y/n’s neck because obviously, the younger girl would know that Jimin hated it now. “Do you regret it?” Y/n mumbled, doing her best to not squirm under the girl who was leaving light kisses along her neck. The words from the other day still lingering, but Jimin knew that she never meant what she said about regretting it.

“No matter how much it hurts–” Jimin pulled away and looked Y/n in the eye, the younger’s head tilting to the side as she stared up at her with hopeful eyes. Y/n’s eyes alone were enough for Jimin to know the answer, she knew it right away as she reached her hand down to Y/n’s face, one still holding her wrists down. Her thumb tenderly caressed along Y/n’s cheek and over her lips. “I could never regret everything I’ve given you.” And everything she gave was all that she had after she placed herself in Y/n’s hands and she would always be there even if what made her give herself in the first place had withered.

Her thumb tugged down on Y/n’s lip before she leaned down and attached their lips once again. Sighs fell from between their lips, Jimin’s hand running between their bodies to grab hold of Y/n’s cock.

Y/n pulled away from the kiss, panting for air as her eyes fell between their bodies, watching Jimin drag the swollen tip through her folds, the slickness and warmth were enough to make Y/n bite back a whine at how good it felt. The grip on her wrists tightened when her tip made contact with Jimin’s clenching hole, slowly pushing into the tightness that sucked her in.

“So tight.” The younger mumbled, her chest heaving at the anticipation as she watched herself slowly disappear inside of the girl on top of her, splitting her folds with her cock. The tight walls engulfed her length, grasping it and sucking her inside with greed as they continuously clenched at the stretch.

“You make me feel so full.” Jimin sighed with a whine at the slight pain.

Y/n’s eyes stayed glued on how her cock got engulfed by Jimin’s tight pussy, splitting her lips around the thick shaft and she slowly moved. The older girl hummed, letting go of Y/n’s wrists. Both her palms rested on top of the girl’s stomach with her nails slightly digging in at the painful stretch. Hands caressed her thighs while she lowered herself until she felt Y/n deep inside her, filling her to the hilt.

Y/n dropped her head, shutting her eyes tightly when she was fully inside Jimin who let out a light moan at the feeling. Her cock was throbbing, twitching at how good it felt, the warm and wet walls were pulsating around her and her stomach flexed with every little move.

She slowly started moving her hips back and forth, her clit still sensitive from her first orgasm as it dragged along Y/n’s pelvis. Her walls fluttered, and being filled up was making her crave more at how good it felt. The feeling of Y/n’s veiny cock raw inside her tight cunt was overwhelmingly good, making out each vein that dragged along her walls.

She gyrated them as they whined back and forth on Y/n’s dick whose lips were parted at the way it dragged along the clenching walls. Her ears were graced by Jimin’s soft gasps and sighs, nails digging into her stomach. The older’s thighs flexed, her walls pulsating and clit throbbing as she slowly increased her speed, chasing her pleasure by using Y/n.

“I love using your cock to make myself feel good,” Jimin whined, her head getting thrown back and Y/n groaned at the words that made her dick ache inside the hot and wet cunt of the girl. Their bodies moved and fit together perfectly like waves that collided against waves, their bodies buzzing with that feeling from the inside as their head splashed with desires.

Her chest heaved at the sight of her girlfriend grinding along her cock, watching how she chased her high once again. The sounds were starting to get more lewd with each moan falling from the girl’s lips, Jimin’s wetness coating Y/n’s base and the mess only got bigger.

“You look so good doing it.” Y/n could feel the way the walls clasped around her at the words, the girl taking all the pleasure in using Y/n for her benefit as Y/n enjoyed it just as much. The way the girl would go on and have her orgasms before Y/n even got to think of hers.

Jimin was on top of her with a vice grip on her cock with her sopping cunt. Y/n’s hands were on her the thighs flexed with each movement and her tip was hitting all the right spots deep inside her. She watched the way the older gasped and threw her head back, dragging her swollen clit along Y/n’s pelvis. Jimin reached behind her and held onto Y/n’s tense thighs instead, rolling her hips in a way that was making her stomach tighten and warm up as she fucked herself on top of the girl.

“I’m so close, baby–fuck, so good.” Her voice cut into a higher pitch as the orgasm started to wash over her with her hips bucking for more and Y/n’s thumb found its way to her swollen clit. She circled the bud as Jimin kept bucking her hips against her, watching the way her chest bounced with each movement.

The throbbing walls clasped around her cock, squeezing it tightly enough for the movement to slow down. Her thighs quivered and she let out cries of pleasure, her voice light and bringing Y/n closer to the edge at how good she looked on top of her. Nails dug into Y/n’s thighs, heat pouring over Jimin’s whole body at her second orgasm.

She heaved for breath, stopping her movement and shivering at the shocks going through her warm body. Her body got engulfed in Y/n’s arms when the girl sat up, her cock still buried deep within the confines of Jimin’s pulsating pussy. She wrapped her arms around Y/n’s shoulders, palms running over her back which was covered in a sheen of sweat.

As Jimin looked at Y/n, she didn’t want to be done yet, she wished she could drag this out for the rest of her life. To make this serene moment last forever as their bodies became one and all that had been on her mind disappeared. Those worries were gone, it was just now, the present forgotten and the future didn’t exist until it was tomorrow and by then it was present again.

She tangled her fingers at the back of Y/n’s hair, slowly moving up and down while pulling Y/n more into her. Their breaths mingled, parted lips grazing until she caught Y/n’s lower lip between hers and gently tugged. It was all that they needed, to be back in each other’s arms, to be close and it started to ignite the spark of hope although it didn’t seem to glow strong enough as it continued to flicker back to life before disappearing.

“I miss you–so much,” Jimin mumbled as she pulled away, moving her hips back and forth as Y/n’s breaths grew heavier. The younger buried her face in the crook of her neck, planting tender kisses. Jimin could feel it all coming back, maybe she hadn’t been drunk enough, or maybe no matter how drunk she was on lust and alcohol she would never be able to drown out the pain of a breaking heart.

The alcohol and lust weren’t able to mend their hearts.

Y/n looked up when Jimin pulled her away from her sweltering neck, their eyes met, Jimin’s were glimmering and the entry to her soul had always been open for Y/n. The longer she stared into the window of her soul, the more she realised how crushed Jimin was and it was enough to clarify that they were both suffering. Her hand smoothed over Y/n’s jaw, running along it as she tilted the girl’s head back, her movement not stopping as she watched Y/n slowly crumble under her.

It was shattering her insides to see Y/n this way, the same way it was shattering Y/n to see Jimin like that. They had never thought that the person they loved the most would be the one to destroy them the most too.

Love was lethal no matter how much two people loved each other.

“Fuck–” Y/n breathed out, being cut off by Jimin’s soft lips, the girl could feel the length inside her grow harder and twitch as it was clasped inside her heat. They swallowed each other’s moans until they no longer could and the older’s pace picked up, her ass colliding with Y/n’s thighs each time she went down while letting out quick and sharp breaths. Y/n’s hands gripped onto her ass, fingers digging into the soft yet firm flesh as she helped Jimin move, feeling the movement slack off at times.

A soft and light moan escaped Jimin’s lips, grounding herself down on Y/n’s cock, arms wrapped around her shoulders as she panted against her neck. Teeth dug into her shoulder, the whimper suppressed from the younger as she could feel the ropes of cum shoot one after another into her, painting her walls white. Y/n pulled away from her shoulder, slipping out of Jimin’s warmth as they eased down to reality.

Everything stilled as the younger girl still held Jimin in her arms, caressing her warm back while taking deep breaths. It felt like neither of them planned to move any second as the girl snuggled closer into Y/n’s neck, burying her face in the crook of it, her eyes shutting tightly.

It was making Jimin’s chest heave at the panic she felt because she could only watch it all slip through her fingers, unable to do anything to save it.

The attempt to suppress her sobs was feeble as the first one slipped through and then a second followed and her tears were staining Y/n’s skin once again. “Jimin–”

“I’m scared, Y/n.” She cried into her neck, sobbing and snivelling as it overwhelmed her once again, this time she wasn’t able to hold back on releasing what was heavily on her chest. It didn’t matter how scared they were to bring up the obvious because the thought of how it would end was terrifying. Neither wanted it to end. However, the realisation dawned upon them and it would all end much sooner than intended if they did nothing about it.

“I’m right here.” Y/n slowly pulled her away, manoeuvring Jimin’s body like fragile butterfly wings that could crumble with a little too much pressure. The girl continued to cry, pulling her knees to her chest, crying into them as Y/n draped the duvet over her, covering her naked body.

She couldn’t grasp at it, at how all the promises died the second their love did, that they made promises they couldn’t keep and it never should have been this way. They promised to love each other forever and they did, but it no longer was the love that was beyond care and compassion. It was adoration and not love, the love; was gone.

Jimin refused to accept it, no, she couldn’t accept that and would dig through every little corner until she found something that would help the withered flower bloom back to life. She’d shed all her tears until her eyes would be bleeding just to have enough to water their flower of love that had died. There had to be some way to save it even if it hurt, even if it hurt more than it already did.

Y/n got back onto the bed after she pulled on her boxers, Jimin was still crying into her knees until the younger girl sat behind her, the duvet resting over the both of them. She held back on her tears as she cradled the weeping girl’s head, lending her shoulder to cry on once again and she would continue doing so until her last breath. It would never matter what type of love they held for each other, she would always care even if everything else they used to have that was deeper had died.

It was a death neither of them knew how to cope with.

“I’m here for you.” She reassured her, kissing the top of her head.

“I hate this, Y/n—” Her sobs cut through her words, her hands gripping the duvet before they let go, feeling hopeless; what was there to hold on to in reality? There was nothing to hold onto as they both freely fell through hell for each other. It made them weak in so many ways. “Nothing is the same anymore and I don’t know what to do.” Acceptance was hard for anyone, it had always been hard, but it was even harder when it came to something they made their whole lives revolve around. How could they just accept that their worlds no longer circled the other?

It stung, it hurt deeply to think that this was possible, something they had never thought about had become their reality. The flower that bloomed with their love was dead. Yet these tears and the pain they felt at the thought of needing to let go made them want to try again. One last try to revive something that had been dead and cold for months. If some miracle happened, they would be able to bring it back to life. Their love would bloom from a dead flower at some point, they would continue watering it with their tears, crying over the dead flower that was their love in hopes of it coming back to life.

“We can make it work again.” Y/n wasn’t brave enough to say the words, she wasn’t strong enough to say them for Jimin and herself. To admit for the both of them that what was lost was lost and that it was time to say goodbye and bury their love because there was nothing to save once it was already gone.It was too difficult to bury it when they had yet to accept its death. They had no clue how to cope with everything.

It was eating at them, tearing them apart and glueing them back together into an even bigger mess.

“We can fix everything,” Y/n reassured, knowing that these could as well be empty words and new promises to break, but she couldn’t give up. She couldn’t give up on Jimin even if they were mistaking care and compassion for a small ember of love that they could turn into a fire. That fire had gone out a while ago and what was left were ashes.

“Do you think that’s possible?” She whimpered, wanting to do anything to try and grasp at that false little ember of hope.

“I don’t know,” Y/n whispered, just as uncertain, but she would do anything for Jimin even if it meant ruining herself.

They couldn’t know, but at least it was reassurance that they didn’t have to let go yet and could continue no matter how much it hurt because it would hurt even more if they were apart. It was too difficult to let go of someone they had built their lives around. They would hurt for each other and they would choose that over happiness with someone else because no one would ever be able to give them what they used to have.

They longed for each other’s love. They missed it and just wanted to feel it again but it was all gone. It no longer felt like it used to and they missed those feelings they used to have. Where did they go wrong for it to happen in the first place? What were they supposed to do to fix it? Let go and move on. Stay and continue to drag through the impossible to try and fix it?

They weren’t in love anymore, they just loved each other.

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r0ttenhearts · 11 months

Text

You Promised

scaramouche x reader, modern au.

angst, insults, no comfort

being scaramouche’s friend was.. challenging. having to put up with his snarky comments, sometimes cruel behavior, but you loved him. you had been his friend since childhood, trailing behind him even in high school. but if it wasn’t you who else would it be? scaramouche had a history of not getting along with your peers, always having to apologize for him and the things he says.

in a way you were dependent on each other. he counted on you to keep him company and out of trouble, and you cared deeply for him that you only wanted to spend your time with him. so then came the promise. the promise to go to college together and become roommates, leaving behind your broken families and tragic pasts as you both planned to go into adulthood together.

but somewhere along the way he started acting.. different. it was the last year of high school and the time to apply to college was coming up. you nudged scaramouche as he was drifting off to sleep next to you.

“hey! scara! wake up. we haven’t picked out a college yet.”

“i don’t care.. just pick something and i’ll manage to find something i want to do.” he grumbled.

you shake your head as you click on several websites until deciding on one. now all that was left was to find student housing on campus. you figured you’d do that with scara once he was awake.

watching him sleep felt almost comforting. his usual smirk off of his face and replaced with a relaxed expression was refreshing. even in his sleep he would find tranquility. a tap on scaramouches shoulder broke your trance as you watched the blonde girl shake him awake.

of course it was lumine. scaramouche yawned as he nodded up at lumine, her hands on his as you watched him being pulled out of the classroom by her.

it seemed like ever since she had come along he had kept his distance from you. your usual friday sleepovers turned to afternoons on wednesdays with lumine taking up his time on those days.

what was so special about her?

sure she was.. beautiful but what did she have that you didn’t?

she hadn’t known scaramouche since practically birth like you did. she hasn’t been the one to comfort him when his mother would say the meanest words to him.

so how?

how had she managed to whisk him away from your life?

you sighed, packing your bag as you knew better than to wait on him. you already knew he’d be walking her home rather than you.

once you got home you sat at your desk, hearing bloops as you put your headset on. it was scaramouche, messaging you if you wanted to play minecraft. you joined the call as the both of you played minecraft together.

you felt happy.. finally an afternoon when he wasn’t with her. he was having fun with you instead.

oh how you missed these days.

“hey scara, how do i cut this? this mod is confusing..” you struggled with cutting a tomato with a new food mod he had added to your server. he was silent on the other end of the call before he spoke, scaring you as you just stared at your monitor.

“archons.. how annoying could you be? you ask me for help with every little thing.

i get it your small brain can’t comprehend basic common sense, but do you have to bother me for everything?

and you want to go to college? when you can’t even figure out how to cut something on fucking minecraft?”

you stayed silent as he went on a tangent about how he really thought of you. your hands off of your keyboard as tears slipped from your eyes, rolling down your cheeks.

“i cant believe i promised to go to college with you. you know— i didn’t even want to. i just said it because i pity you. i know how much you need me when i don’t even need you. it’s so fucking funny to me how the ONE normal person in your life can’t stand you. but there you are, always following me around like a sick puppy.

it’s pitiful y/n it really is.

and you know what? i’m going to go to college with lumine instead. she’s so much more tolerable to be around than you. she doesn’t blab to me about the smallest shit i couldn’t care less about.

i know the way you look at me and i promise you i’ll never feel the same. id rather die then spend another lifetime with you.”

you choked back a sob as you grit your teeth, yelling a “fuck you.” into your mic as you shut off the server. you sobbed into your hands as you heard numerous pings coming from your dm with him.

scara: oh now you’re gonna cry? little y/n finally grew some balls now huh?

scara: too bad for you. you’re alone now. lumine was here beside me watching your stupid little outburst. have fun facing us in school for that next few weeks.

scara: don’t forget who made you. you would’ve stayed the same loser you were back then if it weren’t for me.

scara: you’re nothing

scara: you have no friends for a reason you whiney bitch

you screamed, holding onto your mouse as you clicked the bright red block button over his profile. angry tears leaked from your eyes as you pulled out your phone, blocking him on all of the social media you had him added on.

how didn’t you see it? you knew he was becoming distant but you didn’t think he hated you.

your heart ached at the thought of your life without him. the reminder that he had chosen lumine over you felt like being stabbed.

but had he ever cared for you? the same thing way you did him?

how did the once sweet, shy scaramouche turn into this monster you couldn’t recognize?

you spent the rest of the school year alone. avoiding his and lumine’s gazes every time you walked into the classroom. you’d ignore his comments and his constant need to throw small wads of paper at you.

you never thought you’d be on the receiving end of his cruelty but here you were, loud laughs as lumine pointed at you while they stood together.

how you wished to get away from them as soon as possible.

once it was graduation, you didn’t bother showing up to the ceremony. instead you picked up your diploma from the front office. you were finally going to get the fuck out of there.

you got home and packed your things, you had picked a college in a foreign region. sumeru, the nation of knowledge.

you smiled as you boarded your flight, no one to greet you off as you sat there. a feeling of relief washing over you as the plane took off.

“goodbye to the boy i once knew, and the home that wasn’t really home.”

part 2

#scara angst #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche angst #scara x y/n #scaramouche #scara x you #genshin angst

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comatosebunny09 · 11 months

Text

intermission | r. kyojuro

cw: nipple sucking, language, modern au, needy!kyojuro

He’s a needy little thing, red-faced and pouty-lipped whilst he stands in the doorway of your home office. His gaze is downcast to his feet as he toys with the drawstrings of his joggers. Uncustomary of him, no?

“What’s up, love?” queried over your monitor, the clacking of your keyboard petering out as a smile dons your lips.

You have an inkling of what he needs if the pretty shade of rouge inhabiting the tips of his ears is anything to go by. But, you’re a devious little shit who gets a thrill out of making him beg. It isn’t often that your husband subjects you to this side of him, all squirmy and avoidant.

His oncoming laugh is nervous and light, tugging a smirk onto your face. You watch him work his tongue around an excuse momentarily, his incandescent eyes flitting every so often to the deep cut of your tank. A pang shimmies through the pits of your gut. God, he can be the cutest thing when he wants.

Catching on, you carefully shut the lid of your laptop. Quietly maneuver yourself around the desk, padding over to your husband to encase his hand in yours. It’s warm and saturated with sweat as you lead him to the futon tucked into the office’s alcove. The leather squeaks beneath you whilst you plop down, legs cross, grin shit-eating.

He falls into the space beside you, averting his stare to the flatscreen mounted on the adjacent wall. You bite back a doting coo. He’s just the sweetest thing. You could never deny him the simple pleasure of your body, especially when he comes to you with his defenses buried in the sand. And, of course, he makes you weak-kneed with how shy he becomes when matters of the flesh are involved.

As if it’s second nature, you drag the hem of your tank top skyward, your breasts springing free from the restrictive cloth. Your top tucked beneath your chin, you reach for your husband. “Here,” you say, a tender hand at the nape of his neck, drawing him closer to your chest. “Suck.”

His gaze flicks to you momentarily, silently asking if this is alright. You nod, relaxing against the sofa whilst a mop of feathery, blond hair nestles into your lap. He gives you one final look, offering you an out. When you make no move to push him off, his lashes shutter, and he takes your hardening nipple into the hot suction of his mouth. Your approving moan causes an eager hand to knead the lonely, doughy flesh of your other breast.

Pleasure burrows deep into the center of your thighs. You bite your lip against the swell of it, your head thumping against the headrest. He suckles on your teat like a man starved, occasionally lapping at your nipple and adding the perfect amount of teeth whilst his thumb skates over the other. You gently cup his cheek, observing through hooded lids as your husband delightedly samples from your body, his airy little keens tickling your ears.

A grin rounding your lips, you proceed to comb through locks of marigold, fondness dancing alongside ecstasy in your belly. This break is much needed for you and the love of your life if the wet suckling and needy groans are any indications.

#rengoku x reader #kyojuro x reader #rengoku kyojuro x reader #demon slayer fanfic #kny fanfic #kny reader insert #rengoku smut

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lixzey · 7 months

Text

Heart to Heart

super thanks to @lilmaymayy for all the help 🤍

ONE. TWO. THREE.

warnings: mentions of death, car accident, hospitalization, and surgery.

wc: 2.8k

Y/N L/N had it all. A perfect life, a loving family, friends, you name it.

She's a beautiful woman with a heart and soul to match it. But, she's dying.

Her heart, it's killing her. She has everything, except a heart donor. Her heart has a hole, and it's keeping her from living her life.

“M-Mom..I-I can't breathe, it hurts...” Then everything faded to black.

Y/N woke up in a room with clean white walls, crisp white bed sheets and the sickening smell of disinfectant. The only thing she could hear was the silent beeping of the monitor, she was in the hospital—again.

Y/N closed her eyes shut, she didn't want to be in this place. She had already spent all her life in hospitals, she didn't want to die in one. Then, she heard hushed voices—one of which was her mother.

“Doc, is my daughter okay? Will she be okay?” her mom asked, her voice shaky.

“I'm sorry, Mrs. L/N.”

“H-how long?”

“Six months—a year, if we're lucky.”

Y/N's mom let out a shaky exhale, “Is...is there any other way?”

“The only way your daughter can survive is a heart transplant. Your daughter's condition is very critical, and there may be some complications if the transplant isn't done as soon as possible. That six months? It could be possible that she'd die today, tomorrow, next week, next month. Anything can happen, and if I were you I'd find a donor as soon as possible.” Then the doctor left, leaving Y/N's mom to break down silently.

“M-Mom?” Y/N asked in a hoarse dry voice.

Her mom turned around, and forced a smile—her cheeks were stained with fresh tears and her eyes were red and puffy—probably from being sleep deprived.

“Mom, am I going to die?” Y/N whispered, her voice breaking. Her mom quickly rushed to her side, hugging her tight.

“Mom, I'm- I don't wanna die! I can't die! I want to chase my dreams, Mom! I want to live-”

“It's going to be alright, sweetheart. I won't let you die, I won't.”

Y/N felt the whole world crumble. She was too young to die. She was barely even in her early twenties—she was only twenty three—and already spent her life in hospitals. She wasn't even finished with college, all she wanted to do ever since she was a little girl was to be a lawyer, and now with her declining condition it would be a miracle to reach 24. She isn't supposed to die, she was supposed to live her dreams—not be stuck in a hospital room or six feet under ground.

It has been two weeks since Y/N's diagnosis. And still, she had no donor. It was honestly nerve wracking—simply knowing that your days are limited, Y/N had no idea if she'd be alive the next day or even the next hour. It was torture, her heart and chest aching every minute of day. She couldn't get out of her bed—or even eat for that matter.

Y/N L/N had a lot of things on her list she wanted to do. She had dreams, big fucking dreams. Y/N dreamt of becoming one of the most prestigious lawyers the world has ever seen. She was a bright kid growing up—she always had good grades and usually never let her illness get the best of her, but when it did she made sure to still make an effort to complete each and every homework assignment. And now because of her illness, she'd lose all of the good things in her life. There were so many things Y/N still wanted to do, and one of them was falling in love.

Y/N sighed, she was tired of her life being a complete opposite of what she wanted. She grabbed her phone from her nightstand and scrolled through her tiktok, hoping for a bit of good news around the world—like world peace or maybe mother earth is healing.

“Timothée Chalamet's girlfriend, dead on the spot in a car crash!”

“Poor guy.” Y/N muttered as she read the comments on the video. Why was life that cruel? Sure, Y/N didn't know the guy, but based on the comments he loved his girlfriend.

“Y/N, darling! It's time for dinner! You still need to take your medicine!” Y/N's mom called from downstairs. Y/N slowly stood up, her vision was suddenly blurry—her chest tightened and her heart felt like it was stabbed—this wasn't like any episode she ever had. She fell to the floor with a loud thud, her eyes fighting to stay open.

The last thing Y/N heard was her mom screaming for help before everything went pitch black.

Timothée woke up with a terrible feeling, like something had happened—or something bad was going to happen. He had just gotten home from Paris fashion week and he was still jet lagged. Timothée brushed the feeling off, yawning as he got up from his bed, walking to his bathroom to get ready for the day—even if he had nothing to do.

Suddenly his phone rang, it was Zendaya.

“What's up, Z?“ Timothée asked, his voice still groggy.

“Are you okay? Fuck, I can't imagine what you're feeling right now, Tim. Condolence-” Timothée's eyes widened, “What the hell are you talking about, Z?”

“Oh shit, you don't know yet?”

“What do I don't know, Zendaya? You're scaring me.”

“I'm so sorry, Tim. Check the news.” Timothée quickly ended the call. He opened every social media account that he had, until he found the news.

“Timothée Chalamet's girlfriend, dead on the spot in a car crash!”

Timothée felt his whole world shatter. He felt numb as tears prickled against his eyes, beginning to stream down his face. Timothée called his girlfriend's best friend, frantically asking what hospital she was taken to. He grabbed his car keys and bolted out of his house. Timothée was shaking, he wanted to kill whoever crashed into his girlfriend's car. He drove as fast as he could, his vision was getting blurred by tears—but he didn't care. He needed to get to her. He needed to get to his Kaylee.

As soon as Timothée arrived at the hospital, he parked his car—not caring if it was too far from the entrance—and ran toward the hospital.

“Where's Kaylee Jenkins!?” Timothée practically screamed at the nurse on duty.

“Timothée.” He looked back and saw his and Kaylee's friends, Tom and Hannah.

“Where is she!?” Timothée roared, grabbing Tom's collar angrily.

“Calm down, Timothée!” Hannah snapped at him, pulling him off of Tom.

“How am I supposed to calm down!? My girlfriend is dead! The love of my fucking life is dead! Tell me where the fuck she is before I fucking lose it!”

“Timothée Hal!”

“Tell me!” Timothée yelled again.

Tom sighed, feeling hurt for his friend, “Take him to Kaylee. I'll wait for Zendaya and Kaylee's family.”

Hannah led Timothée to the morgue. As soon as she opened the door, Timothée saw her—the only body inside of the morgue—covered by a white sheet. He let out a shaky breath before he slowly lifted the cloth covering Kaylee's face.

His beautiful Kaylee, bruised and bloody.

“I'll leave you alone for a bit.” Hannah patted him on his shoulder, before walking out and giving him time with his beloved.

Timothée stared at Kaylee, the woman he loved for three years, the woman he wanted to marry—gone—taken away from him. He touched her lips that he always kissed, her nose that always scrunched when she got annoyed, and her once rosy cheeks that he loved to pinch. He kissed her forehead, for the last time.

“I love you, Kaylee.” Timothée whispered, tears streaming from his green eyes. “You're so unfair, Kaylee. You said that we'd be together forever, you said you'd never leave me, but you did. You promised we'd grow old together, that we'd build a life together....” Timothée sobbed, “I will never forget you, my love. I love you so fucking much, you're the only girl I will ever love like this.”

Y/N woke up back in the hospital. Her mother was smiling from ear to ear, “What happened, Mom?” Y/N asked.

“You fainted again. Don't worry, you're okay. You finally have a heart donor!” her mother smiled, “You're going to live!”

“Really?” Y/N almost squealed, “H-How? What happened?”

Y/N's mom softy smiled and kissed her daughter's forehead. “Sadly, another girl passed away, but her parents agreed to donate her heart for you. But you're going to live, sweetheart. You're going to live and be able to grow old.” she whispered.

“Thank you, Mom.”

Y/N finally felt hope for one, hope for her future, hope for her life. She finally had a chance to live, without worrying if one day her heart would just stop. It was a miracle—a chance to know how her life would turn out. A gift she'd be thankful for the rest of her life.

Y/N asked her mother who was her heart donor. Her mother said it was from a girl who died in a car accident. Y/N was first on the list of donees, and her mother had already talked to her donor's parents—they agreed, because somehow they could feel their daughter's presence even if she's gone, because I'd have her heart. Everything was ready, she would be operated on as soon as possible.

After the operation, Y/N woke up with her mother beside her.

“Mom?” Y/N croaked out.

“Y/N.” Her mother smiled at her, tears were forming in her mother's eyes.

“Why are you crying, mom?”

“I thought I'd lose you forever, Y/N/N.” her mother sniffled, “I'm so happy, darling. You're alive and well, what more can a mother ask for?”

After a week, Y/N finally went home. She'd continue her recovery at home, and day by day she was getting better.

Six months later.

“Y/N, darling? Go get ready, we're going somewhere.”

“Where are we going?” Y/N asked.

“The parents of the girl who donated your heart wants to meet you.”

“Oh, okay. I'll go get ready.” Y/N smiled at her mother before turning to get ready.

She was going to meet the parents of the person who gave her a chance to live again.

Y/N and her mother drove an hour and a half to a house in the Bronx. As soon as Y/N got out of the car, she saw a man with beautiful green eyes and chocolate brown curls looking at her. Her heart suddenly started pounding in her chest. The man gave her a small smile, before walking away. He looked miserable—like he hasn't slept in days—months even.

“Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins.” Y/N's mother greeted an older couple—they were around their late forties.

“Oh nonsense! Call us Marian and Adam.” the woman—Marian—smiled warmly. “And you must be Y/N, right?” Y/N nodded, “Yes, ma'am.” Suddenly, both Marian and Adam hugged her tightly. Y/N stumbled back a bit, but she let them hug her. She assumed it felt comforting—maybe because they could hear their daughter's heart inside her.

“Sorry, I hope you don't mind,” the older woman apologised as she pulled away from Y/N, “It's just, it feels like I'm hugging Kaylee again and-”

“No worries Marian,” Y/N smiled, “You can hug me as long as you want. I may not be Kaylee, but I can be like a daughter to you.”

Marian started to sob, “Thank you, Y/N. It means a lot to me, to us.”

Then suddenly, the man who Y/N saw earlier came up to her and hugged her tight. She didn't know what was happening, the man was hugging her tight—tighter than what Marian and Adam did. But, Y/N didn't pull away. His hug felt like coming home. Y/N felt her heart beat rapidly, like banging drums.

After a few minutes—yes, minutes—the man pulled away from Y/N. The two locked eyes, and Y/N felt time stood still around her, like everything was a movie.

Marian and Adam led Y/N and her mother to their backyard. They talked for a bit—told her to take care of herself and always stay safe. Of course they'd say that, because their daughter's heart was inside her.

Y/N found out the name of the man who hugged her. He was Timothée Chalamet, Kaylee's boyfriend of three years. He's a famous actor, but Y/N didn't know him. How would she even know him? She spent all her life inside hospitals—she really didn't have the time to watch movies or Hollywood dramas.

“Hey, it's been great meeting you and, uh-this may be an awkward o-or forward question, but, uh-do you think I can get your number? I'd like to get to know you better.” Timothée asked, a hopeful look plastered on his face.

“Yeah sure, it's no problem.”

Ever since Y/N and Timothée exchanged numbers, they’ve been texting each other back and forth. It even became Y/N’s routine to start her day with sending him a “good morning” and ending it with a reply to Timothee’s “goodnight”.

Until one day Timothée texted her, asking if she'd like to go out with him.

Hey

What's up, Tim?

Do you have plans tomorrow night?

Uh, none that I could think of. Why?

Can I ask you out?

What?

On a date. Or maybe just hang out? I don't know, we can do whatever you want.

When Y/N read his offer to go on a date and she squealed into her pillow, kicking her feet up in the air at the excitement rumbling in her stomach. She knew it was wrong. He was-or is still grieving, he just lost his girlfriend of three years in an instant. But with his charming words, his sexy voice, mesmerizing green eyes, and his perfect face she couldn't help a slight crush forming. She was talking to a celebrity, and it felt like a dream—like something you'd see only in movies.

“Mom, Timothée just asked me out.”

“What? Really? Y/N, that's amazing! You're going on a date for the very first time!” her mom teased.

Y/N has never exactly been on a date before but this is how it would be like, right?

The next day, Y/N got ready for her date—or to hang out with Timothée, as a friend— or maybe something more? hopefully anyways. She was giddy, she was going on a date with a handsome guy who just so happened to be a famous actor. Who wouldn't be excited? Y/N wore a simple off-shoulder blue dress that flourished just above her knees and some white strappy wedge heels. Her hair was braided to the side with some simple lip gloss, foundation, and blush for makeup.

After waiting for what felt like hours, their doorbell rang. It's him, he's actually here, picking her up for an entire day together. When Y/N opened the door, she saw him wearing a white shirt under a leather jacket paired with denim jeans. His hair was perfectly messy—Y/N wanted to run her fingers through his curls so badly. Timothée Chalamet is undeniably handsome, as if he was carved by the gods.

“Y-you look beautiful, Y/N.”

“Thanks, you look good too.” Y/N chuckled nervously. Timothée led Y/N to his car and opened the door for her. Timothée took Y/N to one of his favourites. Buvette Gastrotheque—a small french café in West Village. The place was cosy, quaint, and there weren't a lot of people. Sitting down at a small table, Timothée ordered the COQ au Vin while Y/N got the Salade de Poulet. They paired it off with red wine, and chocolate mousse for dessert. As they waited for their food to arrive, Timothée and Y/N talked about life, interests, favourite foods, and surprisingly—they had a lot in common.

“Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“I know we've only been talking for a month, but i need to tell you something.” Timothée grabbed her hand, intertwining it with his, “I'm….. well, uh- starting to see you a little differently.. You know? I just-” he sighs, “I feel something for you, Y/N. And I wanna know if you would ever feel the same way.”

Y/N felt the world around her stop, her eyes locking with his. Ever since he asked for her number she knew she was going to love him, but she didn't feel as happy as she thought she would be. Instead, she felt a pit slowly sinking to her stomach.

It was wrong.

Absolutely wrong.

It's been less than a year since Kaylee passed and he's already moving on, what if he doesn't actually like her but rather the heart she now wore. Y/N was speechless. She couldn't utter a word. She wanted to say she was slowly getting feelings for him too, but she knew she couldn’t.

“Timothée....”

“Y/N, please. Think about it. Give me an answer when you're ready. Just....please give me a chance.”

@lovemelikecrazyiloveyoucrazy @helens3amstuff @gatoenlaciudad

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ravencincaide · 3 months

Text

Responsibility to love

Summary: After witnessing a difficult birth Dazai struggles with himself and his emotions over becoming a new parent- a distant dream that his mind denied up until now OR men react differently to seeing their babies for the first time; some are natural parents while others…

Pairing: New parents! fem! Reader x Dazai (x Chuuya)

Inspired by Sweetober prompt 18: Sick

Warnings: Angst, Male postpartum depression including dislike and hesitant to accept the children, Mention of difficult childbirth, cursing,

There was a strange taste in his mouth; it wasn’t sweet like love or salty like disgust. It was a rather bitter flavor with just the tiniest hints of pungent somewhere in the back of his throat. A burning acidic kind which felt like it would corrode his neck- his vocal cords into mush if he said nothing.

Yet no words came out.

He wanted to scream and yell, to call every doctor at this godforsaken place an incompetent delusional imbecile. He wanted to threaten them, see the cocky expression in their eyes slowly fade away into horror as he made their minds torture themselves into oblivion. Osamu Dazai wanted to make them suffer unimaginable pain for lying to him, for calling this— this as good news. As everything being ‘better than expected’. Happy turn of events. Something to cheer and celebrate, not mourn and fret. The worst was over, they claimed in cheerful tones, now all that was left was letting nature and nurture run its natural course. And yet–

You looked so small, so frail.

Resting his forehead against the glass that separated your room from the rest of the maternity ward, Dazai heaved a big sigh. The bitter, salty, sour sensation twisting the edges of his mouth down into a frown. This was suffocating. Disgusting at best. And yet—

His eyes shifted to the orange haired idiot who looked like he was in seventh heaven. Chuuya was bouncing around your small hospital room in excitement. He was moving between your bed, muttering praises or stroking your hair with a gloved finger. Then over to the two bassinets just a few paces away. The joint construction which looked more like a plastic box on wheels with some blankets inside than a medical equipment there to monitor the newly born beings. The small wrapped up bundles. Bright red faces, white wrappings for the girl, blue for the boy.

Dazai couldn’t help but think the newborns were ugly. They looked nothing like You, Chuuya or himself. Just red bunches of meat; alien looking creatures that were mostly bold and scrinkly with eyes that didn’t fit the rest of their features. The only semi positive thing he could say about them was that they had screamed loudly when they were born, yet now had enough self-preservation instinct to just be silent.

He watched with a frown how Chuuya cooed and gawked at the babies for an awfully long amount of time, ignoring the way you looked. The worn out expression on your face, forehead sticky with sweat and the slight shiver of your body as you desperately tried to come to terms with the difficult birth. You looked like you could use some water- something to snack on. A caring touch, a warm hand. Maybe a professional assessment, definitely some strong drugs. You looked so lonely and small, so tired that all Dazai wanted to do was go in there and scoop you up in his arms. Yet he was too cowardly; too ashamed and guilty to go back in there. Afraid that you’d read him like an open book; see all the emotion, all the turmoil and regret on his face. The lack of a smile, of happiness, on his being. And just see him for what he was; a man who desperately wished to go back in time and hammer into your younger selves to be more thorough with using protection.

The pungent taste became stronger, almost unbearable.

He watched with the same frown as Chuuya picked up the children one by one and brought them over to your bed. Watched the weak smile you’d give each twin, then a kiss on their foreheads- a task that seemed to take the very last of your energy as you leaned back against the pillows of your hospital bed. Dazai’s name was the last thing on your lips- he could read it even from this distance and his heart clenched painfully in his chest- before he saw you close your eyes. In moments- seconds- your breathing became slower and deeper. Dazai didn’t know whether you fell asleep or actually passed out. And it almost amazed him how little Chuuya seemed to care about your condition; giving you a single kiss on your hair before moving away. Not checking your pulse, not checking your breathing and just trusting that the instruments monitoring you worked.

The ginger's focus and attention was clearly elsewhere.

Dazai observed Chuuya closely as if he were a strange animal and not the reflection of how he himself should be behaving; the bright smile, the energy and excitement all over as Chuuya rocked the twins in his arms seemingly unable to get enough of them. That was how he was supposed to act- to be in there right beside Chuuya bickering over who got to hold which twin. To be joyful and grateful and so utterly in love and yet-

Dazai prayed that those balls of red meat were Chuuya’s- prayed that they didn’t come from his seed. He didn’t think he’d be able to live with himself if he had hurt you this way- that something that came from him put you in such a dire state. That something from him almost tore you away from this world. He selfishly prayed that he was not at fault, even if he knew deep down that he was. And if you had died- then your blood would have been on his hands as if he’d killed you himself.

Dazai swallowed thickly, the taste in his mouth unbearable. He felt somewhere between crying, throwing up, and passing out. Yet his body was frozen in place, forehead against the glass window, staring at the sight inside. Silently suffering- definitely hating himself. He watched helplessly as Chuuya finally took notice of him and strolled up to the door that separated Dazai from his partners. The flimsy door that kept the ungrateful monster at bay.

The click of the lock before he opened it was more deafening and humiliating to Dazai than forgetting to cock a glock.

“ Heeh bandages don’t you wanna hold him?” Chuuya stretched out the infant towards Dazai, still wearing that stupid shit-eating-grin on his face.

He didn’t. By god he didn’t. Dazai didn’t want to touch anything that almost cost you your life. He didn’t want to get close to it. He didn’t want to be near it.

Still he held out his shaking bandaged hands which Chuuya adjusted before placing the small thing into them. A part of Dazai was surprised how heavy the infant was. Especially since it was so frail. It would take very little for him to harm this small thing in his arms. To smoosh it into nothingness. Like a bug.

Dazai brought the infant closer to himself, running his eyes over every inch of him. Trying desperately to find something likable about this clump of cells, wrapped in bones and flesh that you almost died for. That made Chuuya so happy.

After all, it was his responsibility to love it.

Authors Note: For those of you who have read "Desperate times call for Desperate measures" This is very loosely connected to it. And although that fic has a more traditional post-partum depression element to it, this fic is more focused on the male side of becoming a parent. While doing research I realized how little the male PPD was discussed so here we are now. Think of this work as a prequel if you like. ... damn now I feel almost sorry for them...

Anyhow hope you enjoyed! If you liked my works feel free to check out Raven's Masterlist

Until next time~

#bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #skk angst #bsd skk #skk x reader #dazai x reader #chuuya x reader #skk parents #raven cincade's works #sweetober #bsd angst #desperate times call for desperate measures

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partiallyderived · 9 months

Text

-ˋˏ life's too short to hold grudges (pgw)

genre: classmates to lovers au, fluff relationships: park gunwook x gn!reader warnings: n/a word count: 594 words author's note: i thought i would write something light. it isn't all that remarkable, but i still hope you enjoy it! disclaimer: i know none of these people personally, and i am not making any money off of this. title is from a quote in "anne of green gables". also, thank you to moni (@/taerrrrrae) for suggesting i write headcanons when i got writer's block. i appreciate you.

— honestly, the best way to explain your dynamic is to take the example of anne shirley and gilbert blythe from "anne of green gables", only with much less antagonism and outright disdain, because park gunwook is polite enough not to mock your hair colour, so you have no reason to crack the modern equivalent of a slate chalkboard over his head.

— the first time you see him, you think he's got to be a senior — except no, this guy is the top scorer in your class: debate club member, class monitor, teacher's everyone's favourite, park gunwook.

— and for no rational reason whatsoever, you declare war on him.

— it ends up only lasting for a month or so, until the next internal assessment, when you get a higher grade than him in physics, and he ends up messaging you at nine o'clock that night — very apologetically — wondering if you could maybe help him with some of the derivations.

— you tell him to come to school a little earlier the next day, and help him to understand the reasoning behind each step before class, and gunwook can honestly say — this is the moment his little crush on you begins.

— however, your teachers are ecstatic that he has more competition now, and because high schoolers love drama and inculcate it in everything they do, everyone becomes convinced that you two are friends not genuinely, but in some sort of psychological warfare way.

— like you're trying to take him down by sitting across from him at lunch and sending him the notes he misses from class when he's at debate competitions?

— and the thing is when gunwook tries to refute the allegations, everyone seems to think that a) he's being too nice b) he's being too naive and c) (courtesy of ricky, gyuvin and junhyeon from the class above) he should just ask you out.

— it's a little bit funny, how everyone seems convinced that you two hate each other behind your friendly facades, but also mildly concerning — because they're way too invested in something that has nothing to do with anyone but you two. so your genius solution is: spend more time together, in public.

— poor gunwook is about to combust.

— and it is on one of these days — at the library, after school, when you've taken his help to grab the reference books the librarians keep on the highest shelves — that he says, very quietly, "i think i like you."

— and you take it jokingly because what the actual heck who confesses in a library when it is pin drop silent and the librarians are watching and say, "i should hope so? otherwise it would make the past few months really awkward."

— "no, i mean — i like like you. in a romantic sort of way."

— and your very articulate response? "oh. well, uh, i like you too. i was going to ask you out on graduation day, or like, after the suneung."

— and then you both continue on as if nothing happened, because both of you are aware of your need to focus on school. although that's not to say there's any miscommunication — you are aware of his stance on dating now, as gunwook is aware of your stance on dating now, and the agreement both of you have is: you'll be together officially, just without the actual going out aspect.

— it doesn't change much of your daily dynamic, only that people quickly shut up when he walks into class with your books in one hand and your hand in the other.

— power couple. 10/10.

#zerobaseone #zb1 #park gunwook #park gunwook x reader #dor writes stuff #zb1 headcanons #zb1 imagines #zb1 x reader #zumblrfics

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chrisevansonly · 1 year

Text

The Night From Hell (Little Duck au🐣)

pairing: Chris Evans x Female Reader (Momma Evans) x Arlie Mae

summary: Chris never in a million years thought he’d get a phone call like the one he got as he sat down to feel Wesley, and his whole world shattered…

warnings: angst angst angst, injuries more on momma than arlie, mentions of drunk driving, medical terminology, a bit of comfort and fluff

a/n: idk why i’ve been hooked on this idea, but here it is, angst filled teehee, don’t worry i’ll give the family a break for a while after this and only write fluff but for now, enjoy 🫶🏻

word count: 2,067

The loud ringing in your ears seemed to get louder and louder the more aware and awake you’d become, still strapped in the driver’s seat, your neck stinging painfully, and judging by the seatbelts tight hold on you, it had burned your neck. You knew for certain you had blacked out, but for how long? That was still undetermined. Everything ached, your ribs, back, not to mention your head which had started to pound repeatedly, but what snapped you out of your haze were Arlie’s cries from the backseat

“M-Momma!”

“I’m here baby…I’m gonna get you out my love, are you hurt?”

“Y-yes, owie momma”

Biting your lip to keep from crying out yourself, you unstrapped the seatbelt, sirens now filling the space around you as you managed to get out and limp over to open the back door. When you got it open, Arlie reached for you, eyes bloodshot, but thankfully she looked okay, a few scratches on her arms and cheek from broken glass

“Momma you bleeding”

“I-I know my love, I’m okay, we’re okay though”

You pulled her into your arms before sitting on the asphalt against the back tire, if there was anything you were thankful for right now it was for Volvo and how amazing the cars they made were, all you could see was a mangled mess of metal from the other car that hit you, but yours, albeit messed up, still looked somewhat decent

“Want daddy, I want daddy momma!”

An ambulance, followed by fire and police showed up, paramedics getting out and jogging in your direction, but you could feel yourself fading slowly

“D-Daddy will be here soon baby..p-promise..”

“Momma? Momma!!”

You had tried to fight the feeling you’d been getting while sitting against your car with Arlie holding onto you, but her voice was the last thing you’d heard before passing out, and it looked like you weren’t going to be waking up

Arlie was crying and shaking your arm trying to get you up, she was frantic and at only 4 years old she didn’t know what to do, she was terrified as she watched you fall and hit the pavement, her screams causing two paramedics to run over

“Hi honey, hey little one, can you tell me your name sweetie?”

Arlie looked towards the young medic who crouched down to her while her partner rushed to your side to make sure you were breathing

“Help Momma pwease!”

“Alright honey, we’re gonna help your mommy, but can you tell me your name...?”

“A-Arlie”

The medic smiled

“Hi Arlie, I’m Jess, it’s nice to meet you”

Jess paused before a few other people came to get you situated on a stretcher, which only caused more panic to build in little Arlie’s chest

“Arlie, we are going to ride with your mom in the ambulance, okay? We’re going to check out your little cuts and get them nice and clean, okay?”

Jess held her arms out slowly and Arlie was quick to enter her embrace so she could pick Arlie up and walk with her behind the stretcher

“Want my daddy”

“We can call him when we get inside okay?”

Arlie nodded and they both got into the back of the ambulance and watched as you were hooked up to a few monitors and had begun to get IVs placed along your arms all while Arlie had to watch you lay silent, and that is what scared her the most, she’d never seen her momma like this at all…she was too quiet…way too quiet

Chris had just put Wesley down for bed when his phone went off again, ringing from the countertop in the kitchen downstairs, he’d heard it go off once a few minutes ago, and couldn’t get too it, so he jogged down the stairs, turning the phone to see an unknown number

“Hello?”

“Hi is this Mr. Evans?”

Chris had started to feel anxious before he’d picked up the phone but now that feeling started to rise

“Yes, this is him, can I ask who’s calling?”

“This is Jess McNeil, I’m a paramedic with the Newton County fire department, I’m a paramedic, there’s been an accident involving your wife and daughter”

There is no singular word or feeling to describe just how Chris felt in this moment, the sheer panic as he moved over to open his laptop, sending his mother a series of texts, the urgency in them telling her to come to the house as soon as possible. If Chris ended up going into Boston tonight, he didn’t want Wesley to be in a hospital around sick people, nor did he think he could hold it together enough for his son

“I-Wait how’d this happen, are they alright? Where are you headed, are they hurt bad...?”

“Mr. Evans, I assure you we are doing everything we possibly can for your wife right now, I can’t discuss all the details over the phone, but she is in critical condition as we speak, we are heading towards Massachusetts General Hospital, your daughter is fine, minor injuries”

Chris went to ask another question or try to get any more information on your condition when he heard his sweet little girl’s voice come through the speaker

“Daddy, you there daddy?”

He sniffled quietly, his emotions no longer being held back

“I’m here baby, I’m here Arlie, are you okay duck?”

“I scared daddy, can you come get me and momma pwease…don’t wike it here…too loud”

The fear in her voice and slight tremble in speech making his heart clench tighter in his chest

“I’m going to come see you and momma right now, you’ll be okay baby I promise, you stay with Jess until I get there, okay? I promise, I love you so much Arlie Mae”

“I love you daddy”

For the next couple minutes while Chris gathered a bag with clothes and pyjamas for himself, Arlie and you, they’d stayed on the phone until his mother arrived at the house, only then did Chris hang up and make his way into Wesley’s room to kiss his forehead whispering a quiet ‘I love you so much’ before going down to explain everything to Lisa and the night his little family was in for

Chris had never driven into Boston as fast as he did tonight, his car screeching into the parking lot at Mass Gen as he slid it into park, the emergency room lights casting a hue amidst the puddles of rain in the parking lot. He’d slung the bag of clothes over his shoulder before jogging to the entrance, it didn’t take him long to find Arlie first who was sitting with Jess playing with a puzzle and some blocks

“Oh, thank god…”

Arlie turned and jumped up instantly taking off towards Chris

“Daddy!”

“Hi baby, oh god, thank you god…you’re okay baby”

He took her into his arms instantly as she clung to him, Chris never wanted to let her go, but pulled back after a few minutes to inspect her cheek were a band aid lay, covering one of the bigger cuts

“I’m so happy you’re okay Arlie, I was so worried”

Chris pressed a few kisses to her forehead before turning to smile at Jess who’d made her way over to say goodbye as her team was going back out

“Thank you so much, for looking after my girls…I can’t thank you enough”

Jess smiled and nodded

“Of course, Arlie is a great storyteller, and if it’s any ease to your mind, your wife was awake when we arrived, I’m sure they’ll have a room for her soon”

Chris nodded and sent her a small smile, thanking her once again before he and Arlie chose an uncrowded corner to sit in, letting her change into some pyjamas before she curled up next to Chris, opting to watch a show quietly on his phone while they both waited for any news on your condition, right now it felt like they’d be waiting all night.

You were more than aware of the situation you were in, the hospital bed far less comfortable than your own, the steady beeping from the monitor attached to your heart, the drip of the iv’s every few seconds, you felt like shit, there was no sugar coating that at all. Thankfully you didn’t end up needing surgery at all, and you’d been getting settled into this room when a knock at the door paused your movements to get comfortable

“Mrs. Evans, I have some guests here to see you, they’ve been waiting very patiently”

You knew immediately who it was and nodded, still not trusting of your voice just yet. A tired smile on your face when the door opened further and Arlie stood there with Chris, her little eyes lighting up instantly

“Momma!!”

She ran to you, and you could already feel the tears spill gently down your cheeks, everything was so overwhelming

“H-Hi my baby”

Chris came over shortly after, tears in his eyes as well

“Arlie, remember, gentle with Momma for the next while okay?”

She turned and nodded at her dad before holding your hand gently, Chris moving to the other side to lean down and press a kiss to your forehead

“Hi handsome, sorry for the little scare”

He couldn’t help the quiet laugh that escaped him, knowing you were trying to bring some slight humour to the situation, it was too hard to look at this any differently. Arlie had managed to climb into the bed beside you, laying her head on your shoulder gently, just wanting to be close to you

“Momma, can we go home pwease?”

“Well, my love, I can’t go home just yet, I’ve got some pretty big owies I need looked at, but you and daddy can go home anytime”

You could see Chris tense slightly out of the corner of your eye, you knew he wouldn’t want to leave, but what you didn’t expect was Arlie to shake her head, and hold the hospital gown you had on tighter in her hands, a soft yawn spilling out

“I stay if momma stays…”

You smiled watching her closer her eyes as her voice trailed off, this was the last place you’d ever thought the two of you would end up, but you were more than grateful you’d gotten the worst of it, you didn’t know what you would have done if this was Arlie in your place instead of you

“The uh doctor, told me all your injuries, but said we should be able to leave in a few days...”

“Chris?”

He looked at you, the anxiety swimming behind his tired eyes, you could see right through him every time, but this was the first time you’d ever seen him this scared

“I’m okay baby, I know you’re scared, and anxious…I want to let you feel those feelings, but I’m right here, I’m okay, Arlie is okay”

He nodded leaning his head on your thigh as he gripped your hand gently, squeezing it to find more comfort

“I thought I lost you both…and-and then when the medic told me you were in critical condition, I thought I was l-losing you Y/N…god when I got that call…my ma is home with Wes, I drove straight here”

“I can only imagine how that felt, truth be told I really don’t remember much other than getting Arlie out of the car…god that car saved our lives Chris”

Chris pulled his head back to look at you once again, just taking everything in, almost as if you’d disappear, and you almost had tonight

“I love you, and I love Arlie so fucking much I need you to know that, and I need you to know I’ll make sure you both get better, and get any help you need, no matter what it takes”

Bringing a hand up to cup his cheek softly you nodded, no words needed to be exchanged as Chris leaned into your touch, feeling grateful that soon he’d be able to take his two favourite girls home. He never ever wanted to feel what he had tonight, and how he felt when he got that call, so as he watched his wife and daughter sleep, he called Lisa to fill her in, and let her know everything would be okay, he’d make sure of it.

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radiant-reid · 2 years

Text

Rays of Sunshine

Husband!Spencer rights and Dad!Spencer rights

Summary: Just a relaxing morning in the Reid house with the couple’s baby

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (fluff)

Content Warning: nothing

Word Count: 1.1k

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Waking up to something other than baby cries was becoming less and less common in the Reid household, and Y/n didn’t hate it. It was nice to not be woken up at 2 am to a screaming infant, like what was happening 5 months ago, but she missed when Maisyn was a newborn. Now they’d had a baby for as long as Y/n had been pregnant, and she still couldn’t wrap her head around that.

That morning, Y/n woke up when Spencer did. It always happened like that when he got home the night before. His arms wrapped tighter around her just before he fully woke up, like he needed to make sure she was as close to him as possible.

She pulled away from him a little bit, so she could actually breathe, which woke Spencer fully up. “Morning.” He mumbled, voice thick from sleep.

Laying on her stomach, Y/n rested her cheek on her hands like she was using her hands as a pillow so she could look at her beautiful husband. “Hi, handsome.” She whispered, reaching out to run her fingers through his brown curls. They were much messier than last night, even though Spencer hardly moved in his sleep.

He smiled at her, taking a long moment to take in her beautiful features and wonder how he possibly got so lucky. Things had been difficult for a long time before he met Y/n. Sometimes life and his job were still hard, and terrible things happened, but everything felt brighter with his girls.

Y/n was doing the same thing to him, her eyes mapping out his face like it was the first time she’d ever seen him. She could never work out which feature was her favorite. His cheekbones and jawline were sculpted like he was a Greek God. They framed the perfect nose their daughter inherited and pink lips that Y/n loved to kiss. Then there were his eyes that were so perfect she looked for the color in everything she saw. The honey-colored pupils always looked at her with so much love that her heart felt full.

“I love you.” He declared with as much weight as he’d said it the first time. He felt even more in love with her than he did back then.

“I love you, too.” She replied, cupping his cheek that wasn’t on the pillow and stroking her thumb over the soft skin.

They were about to fall back into a silent staring session when there was gurgling on the baby monitor, and Y/n turned away from him to pick it up. There wasn’t any crying, in fact, the live feed showed Maisyn holding the side of her crib and shaking the white wooden bars.

She moved to sit up so she could get out of bed but Spencer stopped her with a large hand on her bare thigh. “I can get her.” He offered, pealing the white sheets off him.

Y/n shook her head. “I’ll bring her back.” She assured him, knowing that he liked to spend as much time with his daughter as he could while he was at home.

The carpet was plush under her feet as she walked out of the bedroom, leaving Spencer in bed. The wooden floor leading down the hallway didn’t seem as cold as it did in winter. Y/n pushed open the bedroom door faster than when she put Maisyn to bed. The room flooded with light from the hallway once the door was opened, having previously been pitch black thanks to the blackout blinds.

Spencer had enlisted Penelope’s help to decorate her goddaughter’s nursery and it was the most perfect space. There were little butterfly decals on the walls, a big armchair in the corner, and a planet mobile Spencer had insisted on over the crib.

Contained by the bars, Maisyn curiously examined her mom as she walked over, grinning widely when she recognized the woman. It was the same thing most morning, and it never failed to make Y/n smile.

“Hi, sweet baby.” Y/n cooed, matching Maisyn’s smile as she stepped closer. The little girl giggled when she got closer with her open-mouth smile not faltering. “Did you wanna come to see Daddy?” She asked in a curious tone before waiting for a beat, like her daughter would answer, before continuing. “Come on then, sweet thing.” She leaned down to pick her up, straightening out her strawberry print one-piece and kissing her cheek. While holding her, she turned off the white noise machine before walking out of the room.

Maisyn reached out to clutch at her hair as she rested against Y/n’s waist. It was like she could sense what was happening because her babbling only got louder the closer to the master bedroom they got.

Y/n bounced her up and down while she walked to the bed. “Are you ready?” She asked the little girl who only looked at her with a confused frown. Spencer chuckled slightly, still laying on his stomach but glancing down to the foot of the bed where Y/n had just placed Maisyn. “Okay, go!” She cheered.

Maisyn must have understood what to do because she quickly crawled up the covers, her tiny little fits, and knees pioneering through the messy bedding until she reached Spencer’s bare back.

The soft sunlight streamed through the window since he must have opened the curtains in the time she’d been gone. The summer sun had made him slightly more tan, and the golden sun bouncing around the walls lit up his skin and made both Spencer and Maisyn’s hair look lighter. Her little fists tapped against his skin as she climbed on top of him while giggling.

“Is that my little ray of sunshine?” Spencer asked, and she moved further upward until her curls were tickling his.

Maisyn had been without a middle name for Y/n’s entire pregnancy, but she was born just as the sun rose and they decided Rae was perfect. Ever since then, she was their ray of sunshine.

He reached out to grab her, wrapping one arm around her small and turning around. She gave him the same open-mouthed grin, two teeth pointing out while he kissed all over her face.

“Dadda.” She recognized him, her open palms slapping against his face while he held her out in front of him.

He sat up against the headboard and held Maisyn out in front of him before launching forward and blowing raspberries onto her chest which made her giggle even louder and happily kick her legs.

It was so precious that Y/n just watched them for a few moments, relishing in every perfect minute they got to spend together.

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deadvnstudios · 7 months

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How would everyone take care of a sick MC?

"No, just...sit up. Here, drink this."

Noel is methodical in his approach to care. By the time the MC has awoken from their nap, he'll have already whipped up a hardy broth that warms their bones and tastes like home. Noel prioritizes the MC's comfort: helping them sit up for every meal, fluffing their pillows, changing their sheets - and often does so without being asked. He is very strict with the MC on not overworking themself, making sure they take their cold medicine on time, and keeping them hydrated.

"Wait...I. Let me put these in your water."

And he certainly carries a couple of electrolyte packets on him with several flavors for them to choose from.

Mona is a bit overbearing in her approach to care. If the others were not already aware of it being a common cold, they'd be led to believe it's bordering on terminal. Though her dramatic flair remains, she takes to her caretaker role very seriously and has no shame in babying the MC. She's constantly adjusting pillows and sheets, pressing her hand to the MC's forehead, and monitoring them in between crafting sessions for any signs of discomfort.

"Here, something to soothe the sickened soul. Oh my, why so shaken? Worry not, even I am aware my work would be wasted on such a...diminished palate."

She laughs at the way the MC's face twists in horror as she carries soup to their bedside. But don't worry, she didn't prepare it. Merely heckled Noel into doing so.

"Such feverish skin...slowly, go slowly."

Sorin is very gentle in their care. He isn't disturbed by the grosser aspects of human sickness and takes no issue with more intimate tasks such as wiping down the MC's clammy skin, bushing their sweat-slicked hair out of their face, and helping them walk to-and-fro with them pressed against his side. They have nowhere else to be, but beside them. Tending to more delicate things is in their nature, after all.

"Her breath, drawn up from the dank, sunken cavern of her lungs, perspired in the humid twilight air. She wandered the shore alone, all shaken puffs and sulken skeleture, aimlessly careening in a feverish haze. Despite the distance, the sea could not quell its love for her. Seafoam tickled the soles of her feet, teasing heated skin with cool caresses, before whisking her away into its pool of tears. And there they could wallow in their sadness, together."

They go silent, peering up from the tale when they're interrupted by a soft snore. A small smile paints their lips at finding the MC asleep. They had grumbled earlier, upset that Sorin had urged them to reconsider reaching for their phone when they awoke. Instead, Sorin had offered to read them to sleep once more.

Mary's already at MC's bedside when they wake up.

"Hey, I got you some grub."

The porridge is already cold when MC grabs the bowl. Mary presents them a spoon that she was hiding somewhere in her skirts.

"I've heard that if you manage to shove a spoon down your throat, you instantly get better. Wanna try?"

She's definitely joking... Right? Her smile never wanes, only becoming sweeter when she hands them the spoon.

Tempest is sincerely at a loss when it comes to care. Used to suffering in silence or bitching about it to no one - someone showing any dependence on him puts him way out of his element. He's bare bones in the way he 'watches over' the MC, but he emulates what he's seen in shows and movies. He probably thinks they look gross.

"Seriously, what a drag. Can't you at least wear something nice to look at?"

And tells them so.

Still, he tucks them in, feeds them, and fills their water up with minimal mumbled complaints. And he’ll whine all around the commune about all the fun he's missing out on, even while on his way to ask Noel whether a hot or cold compress would be better for them.

"Oooo here it is, ah - wait! No, let me pour it, it's like super hot."

Vein is carefree but caring in her approach to care. Always looking for ways to keep the MC entertained and engaged, tethering them despite any lingering fever. She'll visit Sorin at times like these, requesting any medicinal plants to steep for soothing relief. She happily prepares a pot for the two of them to share and sip on as she loads up a film. No matter how much the MC complains that she'll get sick, Vein sticks stubbornly in bed beside them.

"Ah - look look! They just added this one, you wanted to see it, right?"

Vein will play whatever the MC wants for a change, even if it's not up her alley. But she'll still sneak in a horror flick or two when they pass out.

#fool's paradise #indie games #visual novel #indie game #vn #tempest #vein #mona #noel #sorin #mary #ask #anon

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anjelicawrites · 1 year

Text

Soft III

Paring: Aemond Targaryen x reader

Synopsis: soft smut between reader and Aemond. Set in the poly relationship universe

Warnings: chronic pain and what comes with it for Aemond (neuritis, photophobia and vomiting), vein cannulation and medicine usage. Talk of suicide. Whump (?). P in v sex, blowjob. 18+ only.

Part I and II

Aemond has chronic pain from the eye loss and subsequent nerve damage. Like many patients with chronic pain, his tolerance levels are different; when asked about it using the numeric rating scale, he'd answer that his normal score is three, which is considered an acceptable pain level by most physicians. Aemond has learnt to consider the pain like background noise he can ignore, he’s become proficient at that through the years.

Having to live with nerve damage, on the other hand, means that he is randomly ailed by neuritis which causes his pain to skyrocket into the realm of the eight and nine. In this case his symptoms are so bad that he has to seal himself in a darkened room, he can't bear the light or to wear his sapphire, let alone his eyepatch. He can't eat or drink due to vomit and has to have painkillers administered by IV, until the symptoms recede.

He was candid about this so you and Osferth would be prepared and showed you two the phone number of the private nurse he used when in this kind of pain. The first time he had one of his attacks, both you and Osferth were shocked and barely had the presence of mind to call Aemond's nurse. Now, you two know what to do to help him, the nurse having taught you both how to cannulate his veins and showed which pre-prepared medication to give him; this is no balm to both your hearts, breaking when seeing him suffer so much. You two help him and stay by his side, offering Aemond love and comfort, broken by the knowledge that's a battle he has to fight alone.

Osferth is away for work when Aemond comes home early from the office, his eye already bloodshot and you know this is going to be bad. You help him up the stairs and take the cannulation kit from the box you keep Aemond's medication in, as he removes his eyepatch and sapphire with a sigh; if you manage to be fast enough and nip the pain in the bud he will not be miserable for days to no end. Who would ever believe that you, who decided to pursue a Classics degree because working in healthcare wasn't your thing, would be so fast and precise with a cannula in your hand, in order to help your lover?

After you help Aemond under the covers, you roll down the shutters, put a bucket near his head, organize the medication and send a quick text message to Osferth; there's nothing else you can do but hug Aemond from behind, as pain curses through his body.

Despite the early shot of painkillers, Aemond is in agony for hours, the first dose of antiemetic useless against the bouts of vomit, the only thing you can do is keep one hand on his forehead as he empties his stomach trice, before he collapses on the bed, not asleep but not exactly awake. You wait until his breath stabilizes and turn the baby monitor on. Aemond hates that you have to use it to keep an eye on him when he is this sick and you have to leave the room; he knows it's the most silent way you have to keep him safe, he still hates it, loathes that his body acts this way.

On your tiptoes you open the door, Pumpkin the cat enters and curls next to Aemond's chest, purring softly and soothingly, Aemond doesn't stir.

When you unblock your phone you see the array of missed calls and texts from Osferth, he answers after the first ring, his beautiful face scrunched down in unhappiness and worry, broken that he can't be with you two. He knows that you are more than capable of managing Aemond's meds and that the nurse is a phone call away, he just can't stand knowing that there are kilometers between you three, that he can't be there to hold Aemond tight

"He knows you care - you tell Osferth - at the moment he is too out if it to even register who is with him, but he knows that far or close, you love him"

"I know - he keeps walking back and forth, eyebrows scrunched - I still hate it".

Your hand goes to the screen and he closes his eyes; you know he's not going to calm down until he's back and sees for himself that you two are all right, he has to wait a week at least and it will kill him.

You hang up with a heavy heart, you see that Aemond hasn't changed position. His crisis, although extremely painful, usually follows the same path: if he manages to pass the night without worsening, he might be able to downgrade to oral medication, following a reduction of the pain. He has to pass the night, you think, the longest night.

You remain downstairs long enough to eat something, and walk the dogs, wanting to go upstairs and stay with Aemond without having to disturb him too much. Outside Vhagar is cranky, your can hear the vibrations of her big body moving about; you wonder again how much of Aemond’s pain she can feel, even though he is on strong painkillers, or if their bond runs so deep that she has to bear it in full.

By the time you get upstairs the drip needs to be changed and you add another thick cover on his form; another side effect of these bouts of pain is that his core temperature drops, forcing him to bundle up under layers and layers he doesn't usually use.

Before lying down and hugging him, you set the alarms for the pain relief and the anti emetic he'll need during the night; you will not truly sleep, too worried about him anyway.

He is not groaning in pain, the medications are working, it's your heart that's breaking for him: the knowledge that no specialist will ever be able to heal him fully destroys you. That a children's fight turned out so ugly and his nephew received no scolding for his mistake, causes tears to well up in your eyes and you force yourself to keep your emotions in check, you can cry later.

You lie down and hug Aemond from behind, his chest rises up slowly and surely, his pulse is strong, the painkillers are not interfering with his vitals, hopefully tomorrow you can start lowering the doses and by the afternoon stop the IVs and switch to oral medication. If his pain hasn't lowered, he'll need to continue with the saline, glucose, anti emetic and medication drips; this had actually happened only once, two full days of pain, when he couldn't move or truly talk to you and Osferth. He was in so much agony that you called the nurse, wondering if a trip to the A&E would have helped, the answer had been a no, he needed time and, after the second, terrible night, he started to come back to himself. You really hope this time is not a repeat of that attack.

Once your hand sneaks to his front, Aemond's right one grabs it with a pained hmm. He is high on painkillers but not completely out, he can still communicate with you, it's the pain that's stopping him from unnecessary chit chats. He knows you are by his side and relishes in your presence, the small solace he has.

When morning comes you are tired having fought sleep the whole night, your energies restored when Aemond opens his eye the moment you start the new bag of painkillers and saline; you don't dare talk to him, in fear that your voice might cause him harm. A soft smile graces his face when you caress his forehead and he mouths a tired 'I love you'. You let him fall back into slumber and call Osferth during breakfast to tell him that Aemond has turned the corner; your other lover still looks worried, clear in his eye the need to be home and by Aemond's side. By noon Aemond is sitting with his back against the headboard

"I think we should switch to the oral medication" his voice is tired, he hasn't slept that much and the left side of his face is still tormenting him

"Are you sure?"

"I was a 10 on the pain scale yesterday, I am a 6ish now. I am getting there, issa jorrāelagon, my love".

You sit by his side of the bed, he has black circles around his eyes but he can move his damaged eyelid better than he did yesterday and he leans in for a kiss on his forehead, you comply, your heart breaking, knowing that a 6 would be a 8 for someone who is not in chronic pain as he is. That your lover will never know a pain free day, all because of his nephew.

Methodically you remove the drip and bandage the cannula, not wanting to remove it just in case he might need IVs again. Aemond opens his arms and you cuddle there, Pumpkin the cat letting out a displeased meow at being replaced by you. You can feel Aemond’s core temperature rising up and Vhagar outside is not as cranky as she had been for the whole of yesterday, two indicators that Aemond is heading in the right direction.

Slowly, his body still full of the strong painkillers, Aemond comes downstairs to try and eat something light, the shutters still rolled down, in case he might get a bout of photophobia. His heart rejoices at the care you are putting in helping him, the little things you do like having a quick sandwich instead of a full meal, not to make his still sensible stomach turn, or lying down with him on the couch to keep him warm under the layers of covers. You could have washed your hands of all of this and kept employing his personal nurse; he knows your mother still gives you grief because you were too squeaked out to study medicine and still, you overcame that to cannulate his veins and give him medication; only his mother had shown him this level of devotion.

Since he’d started living alone, he had to face these attacks on his own employing his personal nurse to help him. There was never love or affection on their part, just someone doing their job and he had felt so alone in his pain. He is still unwell, but he has you and knows that Osferth is worrying himself sick because he can’t come home. The love you two shower him with can’t stop his damaged nerves from firing up, at least he doesn’t feel that crippling emotional pain that made him think about suicide as his only emergency exit more than once, in the years before he met you two.

When he wakes up the next morning, Aemond feels better; he is still colder than usual and his left side is still tender, his head doesn’t hurt anymore, only his neck feels stiff, which will go away in a couple of days. Your soft breasts are cushioning his face, he sniffs you in, you smell so good. He doesn’t want to move, wanting to stay in bed with you as much as possible, soaking in your affection until he falls asleep again. The alarm for his oral medication wakes you, you loathe to rouse him but he needs to have his breakfast before taking his pills; he’d rather stay in bed with you, the only medicine he truly wants and needs to be prompted into following you into the kitchen. Your Aemond is always soft with you and Osferth and becomes exponentially so while on the mend, needing physical contact as much as he does his medication, if not even more. You want to be the perfect nurse for him, feeding him pancakes sitting on his lap as you two wait for Osferth to call.

Your other lover looks relieved when Aemond answers the call, the screen luminosity is lowered to prevent photophobia but you both can see the dark circles around Osferth’s eyes and how relieved he is that Aemond is capable of talking to him. Reluctantly the latter lets you go from his embrace, your excuse is that you need a shower, the truth being you wanting them to have some private time: you have Aemond all for yourself, Osferth will be away for some more days and needs some alone time with Aemond as well.

You and Aemond don’t do much, you have some translations to grade and you do so with Aemond’s head in your lap, his eyes closed and a peaceful expression on his face as Pumpkin purrs on his tummy. He is wearing one of his tank tops, with a thick cardigan on top; you think that a long sleeved shirt would serve the purpose better but your lover is ridiculous like that sometimes and you love him all the more.

By the way Aemond cranes his neck you can see that it's still bothering him and you decide to do something about it, your hand sneaking there to start massaging the area and he sighs

"Let's go upstairs?"

"You still have all those translations to grade"

"My love, there's so much awful translation of the Anabasis one can bear and the kids don't expect their marks back before Friday. It's all right".

You can see him weighing your proposal, he doesn't want to bother you any more than he has already done, even though he knows you have been looking after him from a place of love and care.

Your hand on his neck subtly pushes him up and he follows your movements, his head spinning for a second the moment he is in an upright position, another tell tale sign his body is still recovering. He could probably wear his sapphire again, his left side getting better and better with every minute, he doesn't want to, he feels so relaxed he wants to forget he even has a prosthetic he can use.

You take his hand, his hold strong, his fingers interlocking with his and you kiss the back of his hand before going upstairs. He undresses his upper half while you get a big towel and the solid massage oil. You straddle his legs, careful of not putting your whole weight there and you admire the expanse of his back, the beauty marks scattered on his fair skin as you warm the massage oil in your hands. The moment you start working on the knots in his muscles a series of soft moans leave his lips, his body slowly melting under your ministration, his hips brushing against the sheets; by the time you arrive to his lower back he is completely relaxed, you work the dips at the sides of his spine because you can, because the sounds leaving his mouth are heavenly, they get directly to your clit and you ground your hips against nothing.

"All done. How are you feeling?"

"Good. Don't go anywhere" his hand shots out to stop you from dismounting

"I need to wipe the excess from your back and wash my hands, I don't want to make a mess".

An unhappy hmm leaves his lips as his hand unclenches from around your wrist and you use a smaller towel to clean his back and your hands; before dashing to the bathroom you steal a kiss from his beautiful mouth.

You don't expect to find him naked and hard when you come back from the bathroom, his legs spread, his cock angry red against his pale skin.

“Aemond…” you are speechless, his beauty stealing the words from your mouth

“I’m so cold, ñuha jorrāelagon, my love, please help me”.

You shouldn’t, you know you shouldn’t even think about it. He’s been in so much pain and your mind should not even start to go there, he needs time to recover

“Kostilus nyke jorrāelagon ao, please I need you” he begs brokenly.

His voice stops your jumbled thoughts. He lifts his hands to call you by his side, he looks like a tempting demon, his luscious legs bend and spread even more, his cock leaking obscenely on his abdomen, the soft sounds spilling from his lips. You want him so much you can feel your cunt leak.

“Aemond you’ve been unwell, it’s too early”

“I am feeling better - you can see how hard it is for him to switch back from High Valyrian - and I have been in so much pain. I need to feel good, please” his voice is deep and husky, his hips slightly push against nothing

“We should go slow. We will go slow and stop if you don’t feel well” you feel like he’s put you under a spell, your mind clouded with desire

“Yes, my queen” his hand curls around his cock, jacking it slowly as his stare burns your skin as it’s revealed.

You are so wet it leaks down your legs the moment you start walking to the bed. You lick your lips when you crawl between his legs, you ignore his cock to grab his sharp chin, forcing his eye to look into yours

“The second something feels wrong, you will tell me” the starkness of your tone seems to awaken him from his reverie, his pupil focusing on your face

“I promise you” you can hear the seriousness in his voice, he knows you don’t like to fuck around when it comes to safety

“Sȳz taoba, good boy” you say, he shudders, his lips parting, ready to be ravaged by yours.

Your hands go to his hair, your fingers massage his scalp and his tongue slips into your mouth. You can feel him shiver, his skin is still cooler than usual, goosebumps spread everywhere you two touch, your wet cunt slides slowly over his hard cock, his hands grasping your hips to help you move. You yelp in the kiss when he turns your bodies and you are under him, your legs around his hips on instinct, his weight on his arms, not to cage you in, even though you’d like him to do so. Your hands go to the dip of his spine to caress the skin there, his cock is nestled between your lips and you know this is as close to Heaven that you’ll ever get

“Kostilus? please”, he asks, his voice full of need, his manhood sliding through your wetness slowly, to drench himself and drive you crazy

“Anything you need, anything” your hands frame his face, careful of his scarred side, your hips following his, your clit firing with each of his slow pushes.

You groan when he stops, one hand going between your bodies to guide himself inside of you, his eye focused on your expressions as he breaches you in. You are wet, obscenely so and he enters you with a slow movement, your warmth snatching the breath from his lungs.

It doesn’t matter how many times he’s breached you, your cunt feels like heaven; he needs to collect himself, his forehead against yours, the pain of your nails in his back helping him focus on reigning his orgasm in. He wants to feel you, take his time with your delectable, perfect cunt, his hips pushing slowly, savoring the velvet of your walls, your muscles massaging his cock, clenching and unclenching with his every movement, trying to suck him back inside yourself and he gives in, his movements short and deep, his cock massaging your G-spot deliciously and teasingly.

You try to say his name, your throat producing a moan of pleasure as you whip your head back, his lips kissing your neck feverishly, pouring his passion there in the desperation to give you the pleasure you deserve.

He could have taken you in any position, none would have given him the feeling of keeping you safe when you are defenseless. His body is giving you pleasure and protecting you at the same time, the thrill of the knowledge drags him dangerously close to his orgasm. He has to grab the sheets to focus, the sounds of his hips hitting yours mix with your moans and his, a symphony driving him into madness.

It's the drag of his public bone against your clit at the perfect angle that sets off your orgasm, he tries to stop his, the pleasurable torture that is your muscles clenching around him destroy whatever control he has on himself and he comes inside of you until it hurts, his cock slipping out of your pussy, spent and covered in your mixed wetness.

His arms give out, his body falling over yours. He knows he should roll over, he is heavy, you are so warm though, the cradle of your hips perfect for his tired body, your hands drawing nonsensical patterns on his sweaty skin. He doesn't want to leave all of this until his body is ready to move again and he can clean you up; it's going to take a while, him being so tired already because of the neuritis, your luscious body draining whatever strength he has left.

When he rolls over, you moan in displeasure, needing his weight on your tired body, his masculine smell in your nostrils; he kisses your lips and you grab his neck, trying to keep him close to you, cleanup be damned. When he manages to slip his tongue out of your mouth, he murmurs that you need to behave, you answer that you don't want to, that you are always hungry for him

"If you are good, I will give you a nice gift"

"What is it?" you perk up

"It's not going to be a gift if I tell you" he winks with his good eye

"You are a meanie. I am telling Osferth" you fake pout rolling on your front, your ass in display

"And you are a brat. You know how much Osferth hates that".

You blow him a raspberry and he laughs while he disappears in the bathroom. He returns with a cloth and a pitcher of hot water, his fingers delicately open your lower lips to clean the mess there and on your tights; you sigh in pleasure, your body getting ready again, your hips following his movements languidly, until he tells you to be good.

“You look like you need a bit of cleaning yourself” you say, your hands on his shoulders to push him flat on his back.

Uselessly he tries to tell you that the water is lukewarm now, you are already between his legs, licking your lips.

“Gevie, beautiful, you don’t have to” he’s breathless, his cock hardening under your stare

“I prefer this kind of cleanup, my love” you answer.

Your hand curls around the base of his half-erect cock, your tongue leisurely licks from base to tip, until both your spends are gone and he is hard and leaking again. Slowly you lick his head and softly suck until his hand is in your hair and he is moaning; you let go with a wet pop and make sure you are talking as close to his shaft as you can.

“I want you to use my mouth as you see fit - his hips buckle without his control - You deserve a nice treat”.

You don’t even have to wait for his permission, your open mouth hovers over his cock the moment his hands curl in your locks to push you onto his manhood. The instant your lips touch his head, you suck your cheeks in to offer him a tight space to fuck and he moans with every upward push, your hands behind your back to give him the freedom to do with your as he pleases. Animalistic noises leave your lips the more of his cock you can take, until he hits the back of your throat and you swallow him. You can feel him shudder, his hips trying to sit still and not fuck your throat as you swallow again and again to provide him with more friction, until he removes your face from his cock, a litany of expletives in High Valyrian spilling from his mouth. You know he is trying to keep himself under control, not to come, but you want him to paint your face with his come.

“Ride me, ñuha dāria, my queen” he begs

“Are you sure?”

“Kessa kostilus nyke jorrāelagon ao arlī, yes please I need you again” your poor love, he must feel very cold, you have to help him.

You shuffle between his legs again, his hands grab your hips to help you mount him, your cunt hovering over his erect, weeping cock.

“I am yours Aemond” you say, cupping your breasts to play with your nipples.

A desperate groan leaves his mouth and he slowly lowers your body to breach him, your warmth engulfing him again. In this position you can feel his cock splitting your in two, every crevice of your body owned by him, who is begging for your breasts in his mouth. You comply, pushing yourself forward until you can bracket his head with your hands and he can suck on your tits while his hips move inside of you, tight and fast, neither of you capable of resisting any longer, the friction too much on your bodies. You come with a shout, his hands the only reason why you are still moving over him, whose screams of pleasure are muffled by your breast in his mouth.

You two lie on the bed, legs entwined, your face against his shoulder, needing to breath his scent in, his hand caressing your sweaty back, until his stomach rumbles and you snicker.

He eats dinner like a dragon, hungry for the rich food on his plate, serving himself twice, a sure sign that he's feeling better. He falls asleep with his head on your bosom, promising you he'll give you your gift tomorrow. You are sleepy yourself when Osferth calls; you can see that he is calmer, now that he can see that Aemond is feeling better, all curled in your embrace, relaxed in his sleep. Osferth can't wait to come home to you two.

Poly taglist: @notyour-valentine

#aemond targaryen x reader x osferth #aemond targaryen x y/n x osferth #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x y/n #aemond targaryen #osferth x reader #osferth x y/n #osferth

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shalscumbunny · 2 months

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Dear Doctor | Chapter 4: Privacy

Summary: Shalnark suffered a small injury while investigating some things for the Gen'ei Ryodan, his intention was that a doctor would cure him and nothing else, unfortunately that doctor was you and what you least expected is that one of the most wanted criminals in the world would end up becoming obsessed with you.

Pairing: Shalnark X F.Reader

Warnings: Harassment, recordings, spy cameras, the reader does not know she is being recorded, male masturbation

Author’s note: I always mention it in all my writings in English, but better safe than sorry, English is not my native language so it is very likely to find many mistakes and also that I know practically nothing about writing “X character and Y/N”

I am not a doctor so I will say my life excuse for everything, “I am a social science student”, so if something is wrong I apologize

Sites: AO3

What exactly is privacy? The right one has to hide intimate things? Well, someone like Shalnark really doesn't have the slightest respect for that word, much less when it comes to you.

Of you and the beautiful love story that he formulated in his head, to Shalnark you are soulmates who belong and love each other, a relationship so deep and intimate does not need something as ridiculous as privacy.

Since he installed the security cameras in all the environments you are in, your privacy is not something that interests him very much, he does not care much, even if he is murdering someone in cold blood, he probably remembers that you are doing something that he likes see and he will have no choice but to turn on his cell phone and continue stabbing the man who begs for mercy while he watches on cameras how you drink a hot cup of coffee.

He has several monitors in his study, he could be hacking into a bank's website, stealing a couple of million, and at the same time he watches on the other monitor as you work in your office with that beautiful smile that melts him.

Thanks to the cameras, he knows your routine backwards and forwards, now his favorite moment of the day is seeing you arrive from work, a sweet smile forms on his lips when you throw your briefcase on the floor and rush to the couch for a few minutes, exhausted.

He can only sigh enthralled when you go into your bedroom and take off your clothes, the invasion of your privacy has reached a point where the order in which you remove the clothes from your body has been learned; first the top, then the bra, you pull down your pants and finally you take off your panties.

He bites his lower lip following your journey to the bathroom through the cameras. At that moment his cock is sore and hard inside his pants, but his eyes remain fixed and almost without blinking, watching you enter the shower and the warm water falls on your tense body.

Shalnark steps back in his seat opening his pants, his erect cock shoots out of his pants onto his abdomen, completely swollen and in need of attention.

He watches you silently, although you can't see or hear him, he feels that a single noise from him could disturb your peaceful bath.

His turquoise eyes make a beautiful contrast with the brightness of the screen, they shine with lust and desire while his hands clumsily play with his swollen cock that is already releasing precum.

He is watching how you soap your body, your arms, your legs, your abdomen, your breasts and finally your vulva. His breathing is labored when the camera focuses on how you use your fingers to open your lower lips and caress the area with water to clean it. He feels his mouth watering, he would give everything to bury his face there, to lick and suck your folds and clitoris, to witness the warmth of your beautiful entrance.

He's sick and eager for you, his expression gives him away, he's lost in thought as he masturbates, he gasps excitedly imagining himself in that shower next to you, grabbing your hips and pushing his cock into your tight, sweet pussy, he bites his lips imagining the hot and pleasurable feeling that your rubbery walls would give to his hard cock.

Shalnark perceives you as his, no matter what, he loves you and wants you intensely, he only thinks about possessing you, he only squeezes and pumps desperately imagining the sound of your moans and whimpers, he grunts imagining your tearful and red face as you moan his name, the stimulation is so much that his balls are swollen and throb with need for you.

Shalnark's hips began to push upwards as he moans your name excitedly and desperately.

"Doctor...shit...doctor...you are so tight...so hot...I love you so much...Fuck..." He speaks with his eyes closed tightly feeling his balls tighten "Y/N... You’re mine...only mine..."

Finally, the right thing happens, Shalnark grunts with pleasure and his semen shoots out with such force that it hits the keys of the computer, he remains weak and breathing hard, he felt good, but when he sees that you continue bathing calmly, he knows that it isn´t enough, his hand isn't enough either... you are the only thing he knows will be more than enough.

Finished his daily ritual, he cleans himself, sighs trying to lower his temperature and lies down on his bed exhausted looking at his cell phone, he sees on the cameras how you yawn and lie down directly to the side of the camera, Shalnark had spent a couple of nights watching you sleep in your apartment without you realizing it to find out which side you slept on and put the camera there, of course he covered both sides just in case, but he's proud of himself for correctly guessing which side you were sleeping on.

His eyes have a sickly-sweet look as he watches you rest, he can't help but fantasize about the day when you both sleep in the same bed, he smiles imagining your head resting on his chest and the smell of your hair in his nose while he kisses the top of your head lovingly.

"Good night, Y/N" Shalnark whispered softly, turning off his phone, leaving it on the nightstand and falling asleep.

Thank you so much for reading my shit 🖤

Chapter 3 <- Chapter 4 -> Chapter 5

#hxh #hunter x hunter #phantom troupe #shalnark #genei ryodan #shalnark ryusei #shalnark x reader #hxh shalnark #hxh x reader #shalnark x you #yandere #yandere male #male yandere #yandere shalnark #tw yandere #tw stalking

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roses-dreams-andthorns · 1 year

Text

Riddle, Azul and Jamil(Yandere) x Shy! Kindhearted! M!Reader!

hehehehe look what Trey found in their drafts

Sorry for the delays on requests, Trey was taking a break for a little while, and will get back to finishing the requests soon! thank you for your patience!

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Riddle

Though he hasn't spoken to you much, he is quite fond of you, the way you do not break the rules, are obidient, and are smart. He does wonder why you hardly ever speak, though... your silence leaves him curious... The first time he had ever completely spoken to you is when you were assigned as partners for a class project, he learned quickly that you were quite reserved, you hardly spoke to him... Your silence making him more curious and interested. But he didn't dare admit that. During this class project, you had spent quite a while around him, and he began feeling things, you noticed how his face became red whenever you got close to him to look over his shoulder at his side of the work. The two of you together worked efficiently, both of you restless, though you softly argued with each other late into the night, the arguements going something like;

"You should rest, I'll take on the work from here."

"No, No, Riddle-san... you go rest, I'll take the work."

"you need to rest... I can tell you haven't in a while..."

"No, I'm fine, really! Please get some rest."

Thats an arguement you have every night.

During your time working on this project together, he noticed that your voice is now calmer... softer. You used to ignore him when he greeted you with a good morning everyday, but you're now responding with a nod and a silent but hearable "good morning." The more time you spend around each other, the more he feels like a large amount of weight is lifted off his shoulders. He has begun feeling attached like you like how a strong magnet attaches to a piece of metal. He doesn't want to let go. The kindness you've showed him so far... he can't just let you leave...

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Azul

He is quite intrested in you, whenever he passes you in the halls you seem to be so, so perserved... He's tried to pry information about you out of others hands, have the tweels monitor your every move, sign people into contracts to take information from you... but to no avail. You give up no answers what so ever, you are a very private person, and seem to only share information like of yourself with people you trust. So, he figured... he'd make you trust him.

But... it ended up slightly backfiring, because more recently, he has begun feeling.... things. Things he can't explain. The constant fluttering in his stomach when he sees you walking the halls in his direction? The way his face begins to turn hotter than molten lava in your presense? The thoughts he has of you holding him close and showing him affection and love? The way he earns for you to be by his side? They are feelings completely unexplainable to him. But of course, he cannot ruin his image, not like this. So he hides it. Hides it behind those smug expressions he always has on. But on the inside, he wants your approval, your hypnotizing eyes on him, your praise... he craves it like how those with a sweet-tooth crave their sugary delights that they've become so addicted to. the many times you have been together has changed you. Your gaze is softer, you trust him more, sometimes you praise his efforts, which makes him so happy. Go on, indulge him. Praise him more. Tell him he did a good job. He can no longer live without it...

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Jamil

When he first saw you, you were sitting on the bleachers in the school gym, while he practiced with the rest of the basketball club. He noticed your figure at the top of the bleachers, you were looking at your phone, scrolling and scrolling through it, occasionally stopping to watch some video that piqued your intrest, but then going right back to scrolling. You had noticed him staring, and gave him a shy wave, then going back to your phone. The little wave you gave him... it made his heart jump, and he doesn't know why, he knew he had to approach you somehow...

"Jamil!!!" Kalim called out to him, running towards him, with another figure not far behind.

"What do you want now, Kalim?" he asked him sternly, Kailm simply smiled.

"I just wanted to introduce you to my friend! This is M!Reader!" Kalim said enthusiastically, as he moved over to show... you. The very one that was on the bleachers. You tilted your head over a bit and gave him another wave, like the one you gave him the first time. His heart jumped again. There was something about you that made him want to be closer... He knew you were already friends with Kalim... but he didn't feel like sharing.

You were the kindest person he's ever met, you offered him help when he needed it. Kalim's throwing a party for the 100th time this week? You offer to help with the preparations! There's a bug thats scaring Jamil? You throw a brick at it or put it in a cup and throw it outside! You're shy and reserved, but kind and gentle... he feels so attached to you... he practically clings to you now. He sometimes put you under his spell, just so he can have you hold him close and give him the affection he craves from you... He's probably the type to destroy anything that gets in the way of you and him. Oh, you were talking to some scarabia student today? Next day its revealed that they've gone missing. He just doesn't want to share you, y'know? surely you would understand his reasoning if you found out it was him... right?

#twisted wonderland #disney twst #azul ashengrotto x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #jamil viper x reader #riddle rosehearts #azul ashengrotto #jamil viper #yandere

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rosepascal · 10 months

Text

The Light Of All Lights: Chapter 2 || Teacher!Joel Miller x Teacher!Reader

summary: A new girl joins your class and the lingering friendship (?) with Joel takes a turn

warnings: character death, mean parents.

a/n: Okay I finallyyyy wrote the second chapter oops. But I love teacher joel so much even if I had some writers block for this series lol

series masterlist

10 years ago

“Dad! Wake up we’re gonna be late!” Joel shot out of bed.

“Alright!” His morning voice was in full effect as he blindly threw the covers off his bed.

He should be used to waking up early given he’s been a teacher for years but sometimes he just needs some sleep. Life had been exhausting. Long hours, not enough pay, dealing with parents and the admin. Not to mention raising a teenage girl by himself.

Though to be honest Sarah’s been able to make herself breakfast since she was nine. Joel rubbed his eyes and sighed. He was like a zombie as he got dressed and headed downstairs. The day ahead of him is already filled with dread as the list of things to do in his head only grew longer.

“Get your homework done?” He asked as he took a sip of his coffee. His face scrunched up in disgust at the awful taste. Sarah rolled her eyes as she handed Joel a cup of orange juice instead.

“Get yours done?” He chuckled and shook his head. She never missed a beat with him.

“Alright let's go.” He smiled as she threw her backpack on her shoulder.

Everything felt normal. The car started and Sarah sat in the front seat like always. Her head bopping to whatever station she put on. Apparently his taste in music was “outdated”. He takes the same road he always does. Hitting every red light on the way.

One moment he was listening to Sarah talk about her math test. The next everything went black. When Joel wakes up Tommy’s by his side. He wouldn’t meet his eyes. There were tubes hooked up to his arms and his head hurt like a bitch.

“Sarah.” Is all he could rasp out. Fighting the pain in his limbs as he looked around for any signs of his daughter. Tommy closed his eyes. Shaking his head and Joel got angry. It was like he was feeling every feeling all at once but anger was the one that was winning inside of him.

“Where. Is. She.” His voice was raspy and every part of his body screamed in pain as he sat up, ripping the tubes and wires out of him.

The alarms blared but he couldn’t give less of a shit. Sarah had to be somewhere. In another room. She was alive and he was going to fight like hell to get to her. Nurses rushed to his room to get him to calm down. The stitching on his sides were ripping as he got onto his feet. His knees give out on him as he takes a single step.

“SARAH!” He yelled. The heart rate monitor beeped faster as he fought off whoever was putting their hands on him.

It wasn’t until he felt a small prick that the world around him started to fade and his will to right became less and less. When he woke up the second time all he could do was stare at the white ceiling. It didn’t matter how many times the Doctor tried to talk to him he didn’t listen. He was a ghost of the man he was. It was all a blur. Being released. Stepping into the house. Sarah’s funeral. Nothing was the same.

It never will be.

- - -

It’s been a week since the first meeting. You hate the way that you look at Joel now. How some gossip keyed you into the most tragic moment of someone's life. It felt wrong to learn that way but no matter how hard you could try, it would never leave your mind.

Silently you type away on your laptop. Your free period is spent catching up on grading. Your eyes drift towards the back wall, the one with Joel on the other side of it. Your thoughts wander to him again.

Maybe it was some weird thing now that you know about…well his past or maybe it was because you’ve been forced to spend time with him but you swear he’s becoming nicer to you. Friendlier. And you swear his eyes sparkle in a way that you never noticed. A knock on your door pulls you from your wandering mind and you’re grateful for it.

“Yes?” You close your laptop as Mrs. Barker opens your door. A girl stands behind her looking awkwardly at the ground.

“Hi, This is Ellie. I sent you an email last week about her.” Mrs. Barker says flatly. She’s not the friendliest woman.

You did get an email about a girl joining your freshman english class. You didn’t know much about her other than she was registered late for school. Offering her a warm smile you hold out your hand to shake.

“Hi Ellie, it’s wonderful to meet you.” She looks at your hand for a moment before taking it.

“She’s in your next class so I brought her here to get started.” Before you could say anything else Mrs. Baxter leaves. Sighing you tell Ellie to sit at a desk.

“So..Does she always walk around like she’s got a stick up her ass or?” Ellie asks and you snort. Normally you’re supposed to discourage that kind of language in a classroom but she caught you off guard.

“Mrs. Baxter…Has a lot of work to do so she can be a bit uptight.” Ellie raises her eyebrow and you laugh.

“So Ellie, tell me about yourself.” Her arms wrap around her backpack as she slides down in the seat.

“Not much to say,”

“Well I hope you have a great year this year.” You smile and she just nods.

You don’t expect her to open up to you at all or even like you but you want to give all your students a good year so you hope you can at least do that for her. You let Ellie hang out in your class until the next period, she wanders around and looks at your decorations before excusing herself to the bathroom.

After about 10 minutes you start to get nervous. Closing your laptop you walk outside for any sign of her. She left her backpack so she wouldn’t have just left the school right?

“Are you always this loud?” You hear Joel ask someone. Looking into his door you see Ellie sitting on one of his desks, her feet swinging back and forth as she munches on a fruit roll up.

“Ellie! You can’t just go running off like that.” You say gently as you walk into his classroom.

“I’m sorry Joel.” You apologize but he just shrugs.

“He doesn’t mind. He likes me.” Ellie says while smiling at Joel who just looks up at her and sighs. The bell rings for break and the halls begin to fill with kids.

“Go to class kid.” He says.

“I don’t know where my next class is.”

“Figure it out.” He says without sympathy.

“I’ll help you Ellie.” You offer and she smiles at you.

“See, that’s what a nice teacher sounds like.” She sticks her tongue out at Joel who just waves her off, a hint of a smile on his face.

“I’ll be waiting!” She hops off the desk and heads out of Joel's classroom.

“You ready for tonight?” Joel asks, taking you by surprise.

“Oh uh, yeah. I only have a few meetings today so. Won’t be too bad.” You answer nervously.

Joel’s never been one for small talk so it’s unexpected to hear him say more than a few sentences to you. But it was a nice gesture. Your first parent teacher conferences were daunting but nothing you couldn’t handle, probably.

“Good luck.” He says as students start to file into his class.

You nod and leave, a sudden nervousness settling over you as you help Ellie find her next class. Ellie’s sweet even if she’s got a mouth on her and you’re excited for the rest of the year. Though her relationship with Joel seemed interesting. Like they already knew each other despite Joel teaching seniors and Ellie being new.

She spoke to him without fear and he seemed to match her interesting sense of humor. Those thoughts float to the back of your mind as the day passes. The bell rings and students hurry out of class to their freedom.

Settling your papers you wait for your first meeting. Which goes fine. They aren’t exactly the most attentive parents as they don’t seem like they want to be there. Waving you off as you try and explain how their kid is doing in class. They leave, taking their kid with them and it’s clear none of them were paying attention to you.

The next few meetings go about the same. Some parents don’t care while others are overly involved. Asking you about extra credit and extra reading. The complete spectrum of parents is overwhelming to be honest. But as the clock hits five you’re ready for your final meeting. This is the one you were waiting for.

Matthew is a wonderful student. He asks questions and he tries his best every day. The only thing is that he seems to have trouble with assignments. You know he’s trying but he just can’t seem to grasp the concept fully. You try to help him when you can but you think he could benefit from tutoring. When his parents walk in you greet them happily but they seem anything but interested in you. As you begin to explain tutoring options for Matthew they get angry.

“You’re his teacher. If anyone is to blame here it’s you.” His mom spits angrily.

“No one is to blame here Mrs. Davis. Matthew is a wonderful student, he just needs some extra help, that's all.” You try to explain to her but neither of his parents want to listen.

“You are just as incompetent as the last teacher, we’ll be speaking to the administration.” They stand up and leave.

Tears welling up in your eyes as they slam your door. It feels stupid to cry but her words really cut deep.

All you wanted was to help these kids and it hurts to hear someone be so mean to you. You suppose you should get used to this. Mean parents are common but fuck it hurts. Burying your face in your hands you let out quiet sobs. In your sadness you don’t hear the door open or the man walk into your class.

“Hey, is everythin’ alright?” Joel gently touches your shoulder causing you to jump. He steps back and raises his hands.

“M’sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” Of course to add insult to injury Joel finds you a mess in your room. Wiping your eyes you try to organize papers on your desk.

“I’m alright thanks for asking.” You mumble as you stuff papers into your bag. Joel shakes his head and sits on a desk in front of yours.

“I heard that lady yellin’ at you.” He admits and you stop. Your shoulders sag as you lean back in your chair.

“I know I know, I shouldn’t be crying over a mean parent.” “I never said that.”

“But you were thinking it.” Joel crosses his arms and looks at you, his stare making you nervous.

“No. I’m not.” His sternness makes you shiver, it feels like you’re being scolded.

“How…How do you deal with it all?” You ask him.

How does he deal with it? The shitty administration, the uncaring parents, the pressure, battling the want to help with the reality of what that means.

“Look. You can’t help everyone. It’s not possible.” He starts. He notices the way you deflate and it bothers him.

“But, if you can help one kid. Make a difference in one life. Then it’s worth it.”

“Thank you.” You whisper as your tears stop.

Joel nods, letting out a small noise to let you know that he heard you. He gets up and starts to leave but you stop him. He doesn’t really talk to anyone like this but you love this side of him and there’s a selfish craving to see more of it. To get him to open up to you little by little.

“Joel, um..Would you like to join me for lunch? I’ll pay as a thank you.” Your heart pounds in your chest as he stops.

Were you too forward? Did you mess it up? With every passing second the rejection seeps in. But turns and with a small smile on his face, one that you’d never seen but want to see more of every day.

“Yeah, I’d be happy to.” He offers you a small nod before leaving.

Excitement bubbles in your chest as you pack up your things. Slowly you’ve befriended Joel and while it's exciting for you, to Joel it's terrifying.

Letting someone in, it doesn’t come easy. He should've said no. Panic starts to set in as he reaches for his phone to call you. To tell you that he changed his mind. He opens his desk drawer and he picks up his phone. But he stops.

Hidden under stacks of paper is a small picture of him and Sarah. She took it on her polaroid camera, the one she begged him to buy for her 12th birthday. They’re so happy. Her smile makes his heart ache. He picks it up and ghosts his fingers along the edge of the picture.

“Miss you baby girl.” He mumbles sadly as he sets the picture down.

If she could see him now. She’d probably be so mad at him. Tell him to stop being such a grump all the time. She’d like you, he thinks. Putting the picture away in his desk he turns off his phone. Deciding that maybe going to lunch with you won’t be too bad.

Maybe having a friend wouldn’t be too bad.

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x you #teacher!joel miller #pedro pascal x reader

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sleepingdeath-light · 10 months

Text

bullied chubby friend hcs ; chica

requested by ; 💜 anon (18/06/23)

fandom(s) ; five nights at freddy’s

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; fnaf 1!chica / og!chica

outline ; “So first! :0 I’ve been thinking about chica a lot… I think she’s really neat. I mean FNAF 1 chica. All the other chicas after her are so overrated tbh. No one cares about FNAF 1 chica it seems 💔 it’s always toy chica this and glamrock chica that 😭 (my bad for the rant lol) but yeah! Can I request… Chica with a reader who’s kinda chunky? I think it would be so wholesome if chica came in and scared everyone who was bullying reader for being so chunky and Maybe she’d bring us a pizza or something because CHUBBY GIRL POWER >>>>>!! (The reader can be GN for this one :D) I don’t know if you want this to be like hcs or a one shot, drabbles? I dunno! Do as you’d like with it! And… is it ok if the reader is an adult? I’m an adult and honestly if a big 7 foot robot chicken came to comfort me after being bullied by other stupid self entitled adults who commented on how chubby I was I would be ECSTATIC)”

note ; reader is an adult

warning(s) ; bullying

chica is incredibly protective of those she cares about, even if she rarely ever gets the opportunity to show this — given her mostly stationary (and perpetually monitored) state

however there are moments where the stars align so to speak and she’s able to slip away from the prying eyes of staff members to go and check on her friends — whether that’s foxy at the cove or you whenever you stop by the restaurant

this was one such time, where she’d slipped away from her handlers in the middle of a rowdy party to see you where you were waiting in one of the back rooms

the promise of plentiful pizza on her beak and a joy clear in her eyes as she went

only to be stopped when she caught sight (and heard) a group of threatening guests ganging up on you — mocking and goading you for your weight

petty, cruel comments spilling from their lips as easily as laughter, which itself punctuated their bullying

you were just barely hanging onto stability — hiding your discomfort behind a barely-there apathy that she could see through as easily as freshly cleaned eyes

noticing all the obvious giveaways of discomfort immediately

the tremor in your smile

the wateriness in your eyes

the aversion of your eyes as you stared off at a spot on the wall

you were upset and she hated seeing you like this

so she straightened up her endoskeleton, opened her beak widely and made good use of her crackling voice box and squeaky metal joints to terrify them

sprinting a few metres forwards and screeching loudly — the sound causing them to startle and scream before they fled, scrambling over each other and falling over their own feet as they hurried out of the staff room

you, however, didn’t even flinch, more than used to her ‘creepy’ sounds by now

once she was sure that they were gone, she snapped her beak shut and went to stand beside you (her endoskeleton far too rusted to let her sit) — but despite the difference in height and her aged voice box she still tried her best to speak gently and quietly

‘are… you… okay…’

you smiled awkwardly and nodded, mentioning that you were pretty used to this sort of thing by now

‘you… shouldn’t… need… to… be…’

her voice, though scratchy and delayed and filled with static, rang out with the stubbornness you knew her for and before you knew it you were wrapped up in a cold, metallic hug

and she let you voice your frustrations: cry, sob, vent, cuss

do whatever you need, she wasn’t going anywhere because that’s what loved ones are for

all the while she’s reassuring you in that staticky voice, struggling through the broken mechanism because you were more important to her than that

‘i… will… protect… you…’

‘not… alone… any… more…’

‘won’t… let… them… hurt…’

‘care… about… you…’

the more she speaks the less clear she becomes until the mechanism gives up from the strain and she falls mostly silent, crushing you tighter into the hug for a split second before letting go and setting you back down on the floor after forcing you to dangle for who knows how long

you sniffle and joke and she lets out a croaky laugh before she makes an offer that you would never refuse

a single word that made you smile because it was a very her thing to offer

‘… pizza…?’

and besides, all of that venting had left you awfully hungry…

#sleepingdeath #💜 anon #chica x reader #fnaf 1 chica x reader #chubby reader #fluff #fluff hcs #fnaf x reader #fnaf fluff #chica fluff #platonic x reader #platonic fnaf x reader

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xxlady-lunaxx · 8 months

Text

Forbidden Love | {Doukaza}

Theme: Angst

THWANGGGG

"Master has summoned you," Nakime said, strumming her biwa. She strummed again, and all the uppermoons teleported to a platform.

"Ms?" Akaza asked, turning to Nakime.

"Hm?" she said, not bothering to look up.

"Why were we summoned? All the upper ranks are still alive. Unless it's about something else...?" Akaza said.

Nakime nodded slightly. "Something else."

"Ah." Akaza decided not to bother the biwa demon anymore, turning his attention back to the other uppermoons.

"Ohhh, Akaza-dono~! It's been a while, hasn't it?" Douma said from behind Akaza.

"We saw each other yesterday."

"Hm... Still a while, though!" the blond said, grinning. He wrapped his arm around Akaza's shoulders.

Kokushibo, thinking a fight was going to break out between the two, moved to interfere, but to his—and the other upper rank's—surprise, Akaza doesn't do anything. He just stands there, seemingly content and unbothered.

"The master...has arrived," Nakime said, strumming slightly.

The uppermoons immediately bowed, towards Muzan.

"I have come...with an announcement," Muzan said. "Rise."

The demons rose, all of them standing before the king of demons. Muzan looked angry.

"So, I've heard that some of you upper ranks are in relationships," he said, looking pointedly at Douma and Akaza. The two shuffled away from each other slightly. "And these relationships are getting in the way of your missions and you two are becoming weak. Now, this must end or I'm stripping your titles of uppermoons."

Akaza and Douma glanced at each other, worried. Sure, they both loved each other and everything but they both also cared about their places as upper ranks. Getting the title stripped away would be pretty bad. And besides, their relationship could always just 'end' but really not. And of course some of the other uppermoons would help, right? Especially Daki who seemed obsessed (or is it obssesed?) when it came to things like this, and Kokushibo who was like a parent to them.

"Yes, Master," upper two and three said in unison. They would go along with this.

Muzan glared down at the two of them. "I'm assuming you two have forgotten I can read minds. Your tricks will not work on me, so listen now. Your relationship is going to be forgotten and left behind. No doing anything you do in your pesky little 'relationships' because that is something unimportant. And besides, none of you have found a single trace to the blue spider lily. And none of you have found a track leading to the Tamayo. You uppermoons are disappointing me greatly. You're not in the highest rank for no reason, are you?" He paused, letting the information sink in.

None of the upper ranks thought much about it, the lecture being quite normal to them already. Akaza and Douma were starting to get slightly worried about the first part, but they didn't really think it meant anything—at least, not yet.

"Nakime," Muzan said in an orderly tone (No idea what that's supposed to mean).

There was a strum, a shift and Muzan was gone.

Kokushibo turned to the other uppermoons, his usually serious face broken out in concern.

"Akaza? Douma?" he asked.

The two looked up at him. Neither were all that bothered as they should've been after their master's speech.

"This...complicates things, doesn't it," upper 1 said.

"How so?" Douma asked, walking to Akaza's side.

"Master...is able to watch us, as you might know, whether or not he is in the same room." Kokushibo sighed. "He can also watch us without consciously knowing what he sees. He will be monitoring you two especially, because it seems he is aware of your relationships."

Akaza stepped back. "How do you know about it?!"

Kokushibo ignored him. "And as he is able to kill one of us easily if we so much as say his name, it is sure that he can do the same if any of us try to get in a relationship."

The room was silent as everybody processed this piece of information. Kokushibo nodded.

"But surely he hasn't had the time to do that yet...!" Akaza protested.

Kokushibo sighed. "Oh, he's the king of demons! The strongest being in the world! You should know by now he can do things faster than light."

Akaza and Douma glanced at each other while the rest of the uppermoons watched this interaction from the sidelines, confused.

Douma shrugged. "He wouldn't kill us, though, right?" he asked, opening one of his fans and fanning himself.

"I'm not sure, but I suppose he wouldn't go that far," Kokushibo stressed.

Akaza agreed and walked over to Douma. He motioned for the blond to bend down and whispered, "Douma, what're we going to do? Kokushibo-dono is right about this, and you know that."

Douma placed his hand on Akaza's shoulder and opened his mouth to say something, but suddenly, he felt like he would explode, his heart rate sped up and pain surged through his body at an unbearable speed.

He collapsed to the ground, writhing in pain. It lasted for a couple minutes, though it seemed a couple hours, before Douma was finally able to get up, still huffing from the previous occurrence.

He looked up and saw Akaza on the floor, still in pain, and rushed over. But stopped himself mid-step when he remembered it had happened when he'd touched the other demon.

Standing helplessly by the side, he watched his boyfriend in pain. Kokushibo was crouched above Akaza, not sure if touching him would cause the other more pain.

But then it stopped and Akaza let himself fall limp on the ground, breathing heavily.

Douma rushed over, taking care not to touch him, as he asked, "Are you okay, Akaza?"

Akaza nodded weakly and tried pushing himself up. But in doing so, he brushed against Kokushibo and tensed, thinking the pain would be inflicted on him again.

To his surprise, and luck, it didn't and he relaxed against Kokushibo's hold. "I think...it only works if we touch each other...?" Akaza mumbled. (god that sounds so wrong)

Douma agreed sadly. "Now what?"

Kokushibo sighed and cradled the upper three's body. "I'm not sure. But I'd suggest you two don't go near each other in case you accidentally touch. What happened?"

Akaza shuddered. "Pain. And it was like I knew it wasn't something I couldn't regenerate. Horrible feeling, nothing like I've ever felt before."

Douma nodded. "Yes, what Akaza-dono said."

"...Well, fuck," Kokushibo said under his breath, startling the other demons.

He'd never cursed before, at least not in their presence, and saying that they were shocked was an understatement.

It must really be bad if upper one, the most calm and collected demon to ever exist (in most of the uppermoons opinion), had cursed.

The multieyed demon shook his head and said, "Yes, you two most communicate through letters. I'll deliver them to both of you and I'm sure some of the other uppermoons"—his eyes swept over the room, landing on each demon's gaze before he continued—"would do the same too."

"Oh- Okay..." Akaza said. He wasn't sure he liked it, but it was the best they could do in this situation.

Kokushibo got up, helping the striped demon stand. "Are you okay, now?" he asked as he steadied Akaza.

"Yes," Akaza responded.

"Well, I suppose we'll have to find a way to get the two of you safely apart," Kokushibo said.

Douma walked over to Akaza, standing about two feet away. "Akaza-dono. I don't know if we'll be able to see each other in person again, but I love you, okay?"

Akaza nodded. "Mhm.. I love you too, Douma."

The other uppermoons stayed quiet, somehow still surprised with every new thing that popped up.

First their Master (who popped up quite literally), Akaza not minding it when Douma touched him, Kokushibo cussing, upper three telling upper two he loved him.

"I suppose it is time to go now," Kokushibo told them, moving swiftly towards the door. "Nakime, please teleport Douma to his cult room and Akaza and me to the place I usually stay at."

Nakime nodded and strummed her biwa.

Akaza looked up at the sound of the strum, finding himself in a room with velvet colored walls. "Where are we?" he asked quietly.

"This is where I live," Kokushibo informed him. "And you're always welcome to stay here as well."

"Thank you."

Kokushibo gave him a slight smile and turned. "Well, I supposed I should get the spare room ready for you."

"Spare room?" Akaza said, cocking his head to one side.

"Yes, I live in this house and it is quite big, especially because I am the only one who lives here."

"Ah, okay." Akaza went over to a chair and sat down, letting his body relax.

Kokushibo left the room, thinking about what had just happened. It would be hard for the two of them, but he would try his best to help them through. He'd often thought of Akaza as his own son, and treated him as such.

As he got the room ready, he wondered where this would take them. Would Douma and Akaza break apart, on their Master's commands, or would they continue to stay together?

{Time skip}

"Ah, Akaza, have you finished writing?" Kokushibo asked, walking into the room.

He found the younger male hunched over a paper, writing fast. He bent down and looked over at the paper. It was almost completely full, with only about an inch of space left.

"Do you need more paper?" he asked, retrieving a folder of blank papers.

Akaza looked up and shook his head. "No, thank you, Kokushibo. I think there's enough room here for me to finish it."

The multi-eyed demon nodded and put the folder away.

Dipping the pen into the ink bottle, Akaza scrawled out a few last words onto the paper and put the pen away.

"Okay, I finished," he said, getting up.

"Alright, I'll have it delivered to Douma in at least a couple minutes. At most five hours," Kokushibo told him.

Akaza thanked him and went to put the ink away.

The two moved in silence, not minding each other much as Akaza went to leave and Kokushibo to deliver the letter.

Before Akaza left, however, the higher ranked of the two stopped him at the door way saying, "Akaza, you and Douma have been communicating through letters for over two months now, how long is this going to keep up?"

Kokushibo couldn't make out a reaction from Akaza, since the other's back was facing him.

The room was quiet for a moment, the only sound being the two's breathing. And then, "As long as it takes. I'll wait until we're able to be together, for real one day. I'll wait as long as it takes for Master to remove the spell," Akaza said.

Before Kokushibo could respond, the other was gone and he was left alone in the empty room.

{Time skip (again)}

"Kokushibo-dono!" Douma exclaimed as the said male walked into his cult room. "Is there another letter? Did Akaza-dono write another one? Ohhh, give it to me, gimme!!"

Kokushibo sighed at the other's childishness but let it go, knowing how hard it must be to not be able to see your lover in person.

True, the two could always just see each other and stay far away, but it would make it even harder for the two. They would want to be able to be closer, to touch, to just be with each other, actually, and because they would only be some feet away from the other it would be hard to not just run up to them.

Which was why they settled on communicating through letters.

It had been hard to get used to it at first, but as time went by it was normal for Kokushibo to randomly arrive at Douma's cult location or for an uppermoon to deliver a letter to Akaza.

And it became a daily thing and, although it was hard, it was getting to be in the demon's regular schedule's the help the two lost lovers.

Of course, they had to make sure Muzan didn't know a thing about it, so they pretended it was letters between the two for training or information on the Hashira and such. Every single uppermoon who was helping Douma and Akaza had a fake letter that said random reports on what they wanted Muzan to think they were talking about, just in case he found out.

Luckily, they hadn't had to use it (yet) so all was clear, but of course they kept it with them at all times.

Kokushibo was brought out of his thoughts when Douma tugged on his sleeve impatiently.

"Oh, here," the older of the two said. He handed the blond the letter and settled himself on the floor. He watched as Douma opened the letter and carefully read it, his face breaking out into a (real) smile as he soaked up the love put in words just for him.

Kokushibo smiled to himself and decided to leave the blond alone. But suddenly, Douma was by his side. "Hm?" he asked the lower ranked of the two.

"Kokushibo-dono! Can you tell Akaza something for me?" Douma asked.

"No letter?"

Douma shook his head. "No, It's short and it'll be easier if you just say it."

Kokushibo shrugged. "Okay," he complied. "So, what is it?"

"Ask him when he's ready and tell him I love him so much," Douma said.

"When he's ready for what?"

"Just...he'll know, don't worry about that!"

Then Douma shooed the other out and Kokushibo was left to go find Akaza, confused as ever.

{Time skip (SORRY-)}

Akaza seemed to understand what Douma was asking. He told Kokushibo to bring the message to Douma that, 'Not yet, but perhaps soon. Also, tell him I love him, too.' Kokushibo was perplexed on what the two were talking about, perhaps something from the letters the two had exchanged. He'd never read them of course, he'd decided to be respect their privacy. It would also be easier to lie to the master if he didn't know what it said in the letters. Then he could just pretend it was about their missions or something.

So, Kokushiba headed off back to Douma's to give him the information.

He was still confused about what the two had meant about being ready (or not), but he decided to ignore it, figuring it would be best not to think too much about it.

Everything seemed to be going alright after that, until...

Muzan caught on.

He confronted Kokushibo one day and demanded answers. Upon not getting any, he read the uppermoons mind, somehow figuring it all out.

The very next day he summoned Akaza and Douma to him.

"Because you two continue to communicate with each other without my permission I shall have to do...something else," Muzan informed them. Then, he snapped his fingers and a very loud and painful buzzing sound, that seemed to cut through their head, erupted in the upper two and three's mind. They both covered their ears attempting to block out the sound before realizing they were the only ones who could hear it.

Muzan smiled. A smile faker than the love he shows to his human 'families'. "The closer you two are to each other, the more louder and painful the sound will be. If I get a single clue that the two of you are still communicating with each other, the noise will be constant and never to end." And with that, he was gone, leaving his two uppermoons in agony.

Since then, the broken lovers had stayed apart from each other, not exchanging letters of messages of any kind.

If either of them even got the slightest idea to do it, Kokushibo or Daki would jump in saying it wasn't worth it to be in such pain all the time just because they communicated.

Desperate, now, Akaza and Douma both secretly desiagreed but they played along for now.

Nearly two months had passed since Muzan had found out when a mini ice version of Douma appeared in front of Akaza with a letter written in Douma's handwriting.

Reading it, Akaza decided it was time. He was ready.

{Time skip (lovely, right?)}

Making sure nobody was following him, Douma made his way to the field. It was nearly dawn, only forty minutes till the sun rose but that didn't matter. Nothing did. Nothing but Akaza.

He stood in the middle of the field, waiting. If Akaza didn't come he would die from the sun. If Akaza did come he would die anyways.

It all came down to Akaza now. It was his choice.

_________

Kokushibo looked up at the sound of movement to see Akaza heading towards the door. "Akaza? Where are you going?" he asked, moving to get up as well.

"...Out?" the younger said, more of a question than an answer. He looked extra fidgety and Kokushibo was curious as to what Akaza was doing—where he was going.

"Well, be careful, then. Dawn is approaching soon, so get back quickly, okay? The sun'll come up in about thirty to forty minutes," Kokushibo warned, deciding to let it go—for now.

"It will," Akaza agreed.

It wasn't until Akaza had already left that Kokushibo realized he'd never actually promised to come back.

_________

The further he walked, the louder the sound got and the more painful the headache grew. Akaza clutched his head in agony.

It felt like needles were being pressed into his brain. And with each step the needles grew bigger, pushing further in. By the time he got to the field, the needles were so sharp and big that he felt as though his head would explode.

Spotting Douma, Akaza hurried forward, ignoring the furious headache.

"Douma!" he cried out, only barely remembering not to touch his lover.

Douma turned and smiled, although obviously in pain, and said, "Akaza, love, you came...-!"

"You didn't actually think I wouldn't, did you?" Although the tone was a teasing one, there was obvious hurt written in Akaza's expression.

"Well, I told you you didn't need to," Douma pointed out, even as he apologized deeply.

Akaza waved him it off and said, "I know how stubborn you are. If I'd left you by yourself you would've just left yourself to burn." He glared at the rainbow eyed male.

Douma shrugged, though wondering how in the world had the other guessed?

"So..." Akaza started, breaking the silence that hd spread between the two.

It was easier to support the sever pain when he was distracted. "What do we do? Where do we start?"

Douma sighed. "Right here, my lotus. Right here." He walked closer to Akaza, but making sure to keep a safe distance away all the same.

"Hm?" the strawberry hair colored male said. It was nice to hear Douma call him by those pet names again. It had been so long since they'd talked face to face. And, although the pain, it was a wonderful feeling even if he knew they would soon not even feel again.

"Where do you want to start, is the question. You pick, snowflake. It's up to you," Douma said lovingly. He wanted so badly to reach up and caress his boyfriends cheek but he couldn't. They were both already in pain, touching him would just inflict more on them.

"The beginning," Akaza said after a while, "the beginning of our end."

The blond smiled. "Perfect."

"Just like you," Akaza said.

Surprised by his lovers uncharacteristic act, Douma blushed lightly, caught off guard.

Akaza grinned triumphantly.

Douma glance up and saw that the sun was surely gong to rise in less than five minutes.

It was now or never. Time to begin their ending.

Akaza noticed the look in Douma's eyes and realized it was time. He was nervous of course, but he was ready as he'll ever be. Silently thanking Kokushibo and Daki for everything they'd done for the two, Akaza took a final deep breath.

The two stepped closer to each other, only a foot away. They positioned themself in a way so that, in one motion, they could hold each other tightly in their arms.

"Are you ready?" Douma asked. Rainbow eyes met honey gold and Akaza nodded.

More than ever," he responded.

The two smiled one last time before pulling the other close into a passionate kiss. Pain erupted all over their body but that didn't matter. Nothing mattered but the other as the sun rose high, burning them to dust, and they made their love be the last thing they saw.

_________

My dearest, Akaza ♡

I hope when this letter reaches you, you are alone. Are you well?

Anyways, as to why I have written this letter. I believe it is time. Or, I am ready. But the question is, are you?

I know how brave you are but this is a difficult thing to decide. Especially for a demon. Would you give your life away just to be with the one you love(d)?

Perhaps you wonder why I wrote 'loved.' Well, it is hard to know whether you still love me or not. I certainly love you with all my heart, that you must understand.

But, putting that aside for now, if you decide you are ready then the two of us shal meet at the field right before dawn.

The field, as in the one where we had our first kiss. It's cliché, I know, to have your first and last kiss in the same place, but it was the best I could think of.

It might be hard to get away from Kokushibo-dono but I'm sure it'll be easy enough.

I'll arrive at the field forty minutes before dawn. That way you'll have a little more time—if you decide to come. Of course it's all your choice.

I'm sorry, it's a lot of pressure, isn't it...? I realize that not everybody is willing to throw away their life so this must be a heavy pressure on you. I'm sorry.

I think that's enough rambling now. Besides, you'll have to read this quickly so nobody sees. Now, allow me to fill the rest of the paper with my love for you:

Akaza, I hope you still love me as I do. Your beautiful smile and kind heart. The way you talk and your lovely voice. Your strengths and your weaknesses. Your way of affection, I just love you so so much and I hope to spend my last breath on you.

I love you Akaza, thank you for reading this and remember, you have a choice. So don't pressure yourself.

I love you.

-Douma ♡

{Word count: 3628}

again, this is smth I originally posted on wattpad-

#doukaza #doukaza angst i live for #angst #kny #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #douma #akaza #muzan being shitty

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