okay listen i was talking to ki about constantine in legends and we ended up on "zari and behrad and astra but in constantine" and let me tell you. this idea is delicious

astra kind of already has a set plot we can come back to her if we'd like bc i, tumblr user zaritarazi, would, surprisingly, love to talk about the idea of zari & behrad tarazi and how they would fit and act in this universe instead of the legends one

now you're going to have to walk with me a bit because i am, for all intents and purposes, kind of hot glueing parts of dc magic canon together- in fairness, this is also what dc comics does and i am objectively more valid- so we have black adam who never actually shows up in this imagined second? third? season of nbc's constantine, he's allowed to be bi in this one, but basically zari and behrad are minor characters that flit in and out to be like hey. just a reminder there's way bigger things out there and some of them, at some point, will be either your fault or your problem. also did you kill doctor fate you stupid fuck

so like in my head zari is a mix of comics canon, archeology adjacent, very heavily zari tarazi, outside presentation of a very bubbly socialite (THIS IS A TRICK) actual personality of like, extraordinarily clever, too sharp-witted, cares about humanity, but also feels very detached from it by this point. and she's aware of that and she's not thrilled about it. she and john have a deeply antagonistic relationship, and she's right, they flirt constantly and only through negging.

essentially both consider the other a con-person and a professional liar and King or Queen Not to Be Trusted, any time john's flirting gets too friendly zari threatens to tell teth-adam and any time she does that john asks her why he's never actually around (this is a complicated plot point i haven't decided on. i'm writing an imaginary third? season of a show that didn't get a second. bear with me)

actually everyone shut up i'm a genius bc felix faust is a big antagonizer of black adam and john constantine, had a super gross plot when he brought adrianna back to life that we will not be using, but he is a common enemy even though john kills him once or twice a season. bringing the tarazis in as signifiers of the far-off black adam circling in the distance bc john can't kill faust well enough is like... kind of brilliant of me, actually,

also zari is very very good at getting rare items, either because she's rich or very charming or both. i don't think she's a celebrity in this one, i think the tarazis are just rich, not sure how or why, roll with it, but she's a very good finder of things, and also she can still talk to dragons. this is mentioned once and never explained

okay this post went on way longer for zari than i expected- i'm sure you knew this would be the case but you know me better than i know myself- behrad but in nbc's constantine, he's allowed to be bi in this one, post to follow at some point soon

Apologies for the spam, but I have more musings for the two Captains and their dorky superhero boyfriend. Sara is like the only one out of the three who knows how to ice skate. She has probably literally slayed while wearing skates. Her boyfriends, however, have not, and they have no balance whatsoever. She thinks it's cute tho

Aww that is such a cute headcanon!! Maybe Sara helps them with ice skating haha. And no worries- I don't mind the spam at all :) Thank you for sharing!

I remember discussing Tintin casting choices with a friend from Germany and remarked how it was odd he often has an English accent in adaptations rather than a Belgian one, and my friend just replied "that's because Tintin gives incredibly strong English boy energy (derogatory)"

Here in the UK there's a lot of weird classism tied into accents. Today accent diversity and representation in broadcasting is actively pursued but in Tintin's time there certainly was a preferred accent to have.

imagine this exchange happens between pages 28-29 in The Crab with the Golden Claws

putting astarion's sewing skills to worthwhile use

can you guess who’s in my top 3 best female characters of all time

these kids are incredibly stressed out

After slowly chipping away at this for a while, I'm finally done drawing the cast of The Magnus Archives!

More than half the League is betting at any time that they know when it's actually Batman under the mask, or someone else. Unfortunately, they were wrong when:

Dick was doing a phenomenal job of playing Bruce (didn't give himself away even once by smiling), because he fell asleep

Batman stubbed his toe against a table and swore like a sailor which led to cash exchanging hands as several people figured it was Jason, but Bruce had recently switched out of Matches Malone to dress up as Bats and hadn't shaken the Mindset yet

Batman's suit sat weirdly empty at the table and Oliver, annoyed, tried to tell Damian that this was too serious a meeting for Bruce to delegate, but it was Batman, hit with a de-ageing spell and too stubborn to sit out

After sustaining pretty serious injuries, Batman was whiteknuckling the table, in an awful mood, and nobody thought anything of it. Barry offered to help Bruce up (if the pain was keeping him trapped, trying not to insult Batman too much), and Jason tightly replied that if he moved the suit was going to tear.

Clark and Bruce had a bet for how long they could replace Bruce with a mannequin without anyone noticing, and because Clark kept looking over at "Bruce" and giggling (pretty par for the course for them), nobody noticed for five hours.

Nico referring to his mom as "Mama" implies he most likely at least used to refer to Hades as "Papa" and i 100% headcanon he still does but mostly in the manner of him having the entire Underworld wrapped around his finger for being the baby of the family

Like a completely normal adult person, after watching the new trolls movie, I obsessively started putting together the brothers' backstory, the deeper reasons for their separation as well as how that all took place without disregarding the fact that they were trapped in the troll tree, which of course evolved into a fic in (forever) progress... yeah

Anyway, even though they aren't actively in the story much, i needed to design the parents, so uh meet Rosiepuff's daughter, Tulip, and her husband Branch.

I designed them based on the brothers' adult looks and in Tulip's case also on her mom's.

bonus baby branch:

right in the motherfucking feels

i miss behrad so bad actually

AND I DO TOO! I MISS BEHRAD SO BAD! You have actually activated my trap card which is "organic reason to talk about behrad in constantine" which is branching off of this post i made about zari

so the thing about me is, i love behrad and i think he and zari should've fought more. i think we were denied crucial aspects of their characters because they made up so quickly and indefinitely. i think two characters who love each other and sacrifice for each other but also have a really hard time getting along is infinitely more interesting and dynamic than them just kind of hanging out.

so as i've discussed, the tarazis, minor characters in nbc's constantine season 3 he's allowed to be bi in this one, are there to represent the dark marvel fam, to help john against felix faust, he's alive again part 6/?, and to, sometimes, be antagonists. i think that's sexy of them! i won't apologize! it doesn't mean they're the bad guys, antagonizing john constantine is always morally correct

behrad is someone in this universe who appears as more honest and genuine than zari, and maybe sometimes he is! but john also immediately misreads this vibe based on his own patent-pending Constantine Bias and is like oh well obviously zari keeps him under her thumb and he doesn't really want to be involved in this he's just like me in a lot of ways, actually, if i were cool. and handsome. and likable. and tall

but then, twist, behrad is just as cunning as john himself or as zari is! he's fully capable of making his own decisions! once again john was like "this person needs saving" and the person is like, that is my purse, i do not know you!

now that being said, i think behrad is the "nicer" one. i've described minor character in constantine zari tarazi to people as someone who loves humanity but is tired of being around people and who understands the explotative nature of humanity and is very resentful of it. behrad loves humanity without the caveat, and he also, i think, does actually really worry for zari because like sure. teth-adam loves her.

but he is also, fundamentally, not behrad's family. and he doesn't appreciate teth-adam assuming he is, or that he's part of a larger picture. his powers are his. his magic is his. and no one, not john, not teth-adam, not zari, can tell him what's right or wrong. he's behrad, first and foremost. then he's zari's brother. then he's behrad again, but this time with a cool all-black outfit

he doesn't have zari's knack for bargaining for rare items but he does give off extreme "my big sister is zari tarazi i can decide who lives and who dies" vibes sometimes. and we stan

I had the idea of the brothers sharing their music tastes with each other. Then it turned into this.

In case you can’t read my handwriting the songs are:

-“Black Bear Road” by C.W. McCall

-“Lay All Your Love On Me” by ABBA

-“Candy Paint” by Post Malone

-“Numb” by Linkin Park

-“Hurt” by Johnny Cash

(Also to be clear, Floyd is happy that Branch has similar tastes in music, not that he’s sad.)

(Also also, I think John Dory would have a complicated history with country music since I love the idea of JD and Delta Dawn being exs lol)

(Also also also Poppy gave Branch the boom box, that’s why is has some stickers on it)

Demon brothers who will go out of their comfort zone for you. Lucifer, who stands higher and prouder than anyone, kneeling to tie your shoe. To be on your level. You could have easily tied it yourself, but you didn't even have to ask. He only does these gestures for you.

Mammon, greedy to save up every last grimm he can, giving you money to buy the silly trinket you wanted. Your enjoyment is worth more to him than anything in his wallet.

Leviathan, who'd do anything to hide himself away and disconnect from other people, following you anywhere you want to go. He'll brave crowds, embarrassment, and the worst anxiety to be by your side.

Satan, on a never-ending quest for information and respect, teaching you anything. He'll share his knowledge only for you, telling you everything you want to know and finding the answer to all your questions.

Asmodeus, always perfect and pristine in every way, showing you his vulnerable side. The side no one else knows of. His tears and insecurities are visages reserved only for you.

Beelzebub, gluttonous for immediate satisfaction, holding himself back for your sake. Waiting to eat because he knows you'll be cooking for him. Waiting to savor it. Waiting so he can share with you and make your day just a little brighter.

Belphegor, a sloth with little intrinsic motivation, pushing himself for your sake. Staying up later and later to stay around you. Not just in a dream, but the real you. Doing better in school so that you and your praise can be his reward.

redesigning my headcanon for Sebek's parents, based on important new information (SCALES)

(you can't see it but they're both wearing crocs)

Imagine fucking Nanami until the room is musty. Sweat is beading off both your foreheads, trickling down your necks. Blankets twisted beneath your bodies, the fitted sheets stripped from the corners, exposing the mattress. You can't tell whether it's still daylight or well into the night because the curtains are drawn shut the entire time and you've been going at it for what feels like hours. Your skin is sticky with slick, lube, and perspiration, but you don't care. He's leaving for a business trip tomorrow morning and you need your fill of him before he goes.

You've already exhausted each position at least twice, pussy too tight to take his large cock, which has been completely milked dry. Now, he's got all your toys laid out on the nightstand. Your clit is swollen and sensitive while he holds your vibrator against it, making you squirm and writhe into your fourth (or maybe fifth?) straight orgasm. Still, you're desperate for more, knowing how much you'll miss him the second he walks out that door.

"Feels good, huh sweetheart?" he purrs, pressing the fluttering tip deeper to your clit. He slides his fingers inside you, slippery with your cum, gliding easily with each pump. His cock rigid, prominent veins bulging on the shaft, completely spent, but still undeniably aroused. He wraps his wet fingers around it, stroking himself with the tip teasing your oh-so-inviting entrance. "Fuck, I'm going to come again. Come with me, honey. Please."

Increasing the intensity of the toy, the vibrations resonate throughout your body, sending you into a high with him. He rocks his hips forward for the sole purpose of shooting his hot load inside you, always so keen on stuffing you full of his seed. He pulls out just in time to watch one last spurt of cum spill onto your clit, flicking his wetted tip on it.

You smile at him, dazed and euphoric, maybe even at your limit. But is there really such a thing with Nanami? You sincerely can't get enough of him.