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How hilarious is it that Kreia finds out Atton is a former Jedi hunter/torturer/murderer and is immediately like “Perfect. Babysit my Jedi.”
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Kreia/Darth Traya
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blah blah Bethesda bad anyway
my favorite thing about Elder Scrolls is how goddamn fuckin weird it is
like on surface it's just some dnd game but like even a cursory glance shows tis fucking insane like:
The moons is the corpse of a god
the stars are actually holes in reality when alot of primordial spirits hated that mortals were becoming a thing and fucked off
The demon lord of forbidden knowledge/resident Cthulhu stand-in might also be the beta version of the entire fucking universe made sentient when it wasn't chosen to be the used reality
there are cat ppl that take the form of furrys, lions, or regular cats, so you can have a cursing Pirate legend whose an alcoholic & wanted in 5 countries but is also a like basic tabby cat
the wood elves are so pro-nature they're cannibals and also they murder vegetarians
Vampires came from the Lord of Rape doing well ya know
Werewolves came to exist bc the lord of hunt got bored and is a furry
sex is treated like a fucking ip copyright contract on what aspect of sex is happening and what god it's under. There's been many religious wars about this
The lizard ppl are part tree
the Dwarves all fucked off somewhere and disappeared bc they were so atheist they did math to break relativity and literally no one has any idea where they went God or mortal (except maybe Cthulhu and hes not telling)
Said Cthulhu stand-in treats hiding your grandma's secret cookie recipe & hiding a spell that would end the universe and slay a god the exact same and he will murder you for either
Everyone wants to fuck the Orcs but will never admit it and they got so bent out of shape that a demon god killed the og orc god, ate him, and shat him out bc she couldn't deal with everyone complimenting them all the time so now all Orcs are cursed to be hated but they're all still sexy & so is their god
And all this isnt even the tip of the iceberg
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1. Vulpes reaction to Caesar getting weaker: we have a medical robot in his tent but I’m gonna ignore that due to my brainwashing. Caesar is special and therefore the rules don’t apply etc etc
2. 100000000% Vulpes is having Hoover Dam flashbacks and he’s got a Really Bad Feeling about all this. Gripping his ripper (lol) for sure
3. DGAF about Joshua being yeeted off the Grand Canyon because if you’re weak then that’s what you get. Vulpes probably enjoyed the spectacle of seeing a burning man being tossed off a cliff. He’s a sadist.
4. Vulpes is sweating bullets over Caesar dying. Absolutely nightmare scenario for Vulpes. Mostly because Lanius is gonna be in charge but also because Vulpes secretly wanted to be given more power.
wish fallout fic writers wrote more about the POLITICS OF FNV like idgaf about smut, set the scene of the legion war room before the failed hoover dam attack i want to see the DRAMA !
you can add a lil caesar joshua toxic yaoi tension, as a treat
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Aegon was the son Viserys always wanted, the son he slaughtered one woman and raped another for, the son he neglected his daughter for. And yet he did not love him.
Helaena was the dragon dreamer Viserys had always hoped to be, the holder of the Valyrian magic he so revered. And yet he did not love her.
Aemond was the lover of dragons, the eager student of history, the kindred spirit Viserys was never able to find in court. And yet he did not love him.
I will rage forever at how much Viserys should have loved these kids. He should have loved them so fucking much. Every single one of them embodied one of his deepest hopes and dreams. And yet he spent the rest of his miserable life punishing them for his own goddamn decision to bring them into this world.
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"My champion, the Demonsbane.
My blood is her strength!"
Her details have details of their own, had to stop myself or never finish, haha, Momma K is my life.
The magnificence that is #Karlach was possible by the amazing work of the unique and vigilant Samantha Beart
💕🔥 #BG3
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Sneaking the Exile some medpacs made my heart flutter more than the whole “Pazzak game scene” - dude is looking out for the Exile.
Having Atton Rand in the party felt like he was the poor fool trying to romance the NPC who is not the romance option (as in, the Exile).
He gave gifts to the Exile! (I felt so loved when he randomly brought me medpacs <3)
He was constantly flirting (and getting once again stonewalled by the Exile).
While the Exile was just standing there awkwardly, like, it's cool that you have feelings for me, but can we move on? It's like the Exile as a character did a mental tally of red flags on Atton Rand and then said "you know what? never-ever-ever am I going to date him".
Tbh the game only improved from the unrequited crush Atton had on the Exile.
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And he fucking knocked it out of the park too. The dude mastered the art of “this guy can go from sarcastic goofball Who Seems Like Something May Be Slightly Wrong With Him(tm) to cute guy with a slight lisp to Ted Bundy cold blooded psychopath”
Gotta give a shout-out to Nicky Katt, who voiced exactly one character (Atton Rand) in one video game (KoToR II) and thereafter absolutely peaced the fuck out of the game industry.
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[Image ID: A screenshot of a Facebook post from Weisenback Farm. The post is a photo of two 5 gallon jugs of distilled white vinegar; one is 4% acidity, one is 5% acidity. The caption reads: Just a little warning for all those who are canning pickles or anything using vinegar. This year you cannot just grab a plastic jar of vinegar or even pickling vinegar without checking the label. Safe pickling requires 5% acidity... for the first time we are seeing 4% acidity vinegar... on the shelves. That renders anything pickled in the 4% NOT shelf stable. I belong to several canning FB pages where everyone is warning... for the first time ever... to check those labels or you could be throwing out many jars of unsafe pickled vegetables. End ID]
The National Center for Home Food Preservation issued this letter on July 14, 2023 warning people
They recommend that anything you have canned in the past 24 hours using 4% vinegar be stored in the fridge, and anything that was canned more than 24 hours ago using 4% vinegar be discarded.
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