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yanderenightmare · 5 months

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JJK ! The Itadoris

TW: poverty, drugs, family trauma

Thinking about the Itadori twins, all their baby brothers, and their older brother Choso – who, after their parents and grandfather died, has been their sole caregiver.

Which has in no way been any easy task.

It’s like Shameless up in their house. Stuff’s either broken or crudely fixed with superglue and duck tape. The bills are piled in a wobbly stack in the kitchen, and everyone who can walk is expected to chip in. The walls are riddled with mold, and the bathroom looks like it hasn’t been washed in, well, ever.

But somehow, they make it seem like the most loving household on the block.

Yuji and Sukuna share a room, even though they hate one another and have fought each other with fists and kicks ever since they first learned how to. They'll fight over the smallest things, having always needed to share all their clothes and toys with one another – always up in the other's business as though they're living in each other head. They’re always riddled with cuts and strips, their knuckles wrapped tight in bandages they have to boil and reuse.

Sukuna is more troubled, and Choso has often made the decision to throw him out on the street, but the unwanted cretin always crawls back to crash on the couch when he has nowhere else to go – riddled with unwashed wounds, looking so beaten and starved, the older brother can’t help but take pity on him. Sighing heavily when carrying him up to his room, even when the urchin growls at him to piss off.

Yuuji has always tried steering his twin in a better direction – making him go to class, signing him up for college after high school, getting him a job – but Sukuna has always been in love with the streets and doesn’t want to partake in any pesky conformist rituals like his brothers are sworn on doing. He speaks loudly about it when he’s drunk or on other stuff – how they’re delusional sheep for thinking they could ever simply smile their way into another life – that being slumdogs is what they were meant to be ever since their parents decided to fuck off.

It's a shame… because you can tell he’s actually very smart. Smarter than Yuuji, who by no means tries very hard at school but always comes home with a C+ letter marking his assignments. You’re sure he’d get higher if he applied himself a little harder instead of goofing off in silly after-school clubs. And as for Sukuna, you’re sure he could be valedictorian if he bothered.

Sometimes, he’ll show up in class. Almost always with a new tattoo on his face or arm – from what you can see – you’re sure there’s a lot under his shirt you can’t. He's such a punk, lighting up a smoke in class before the teacher comes in, his muddy sneakers propped up on a poor sucker’s desk.

He smells of liquor and smoke when he swaggers passed you on his way out after the teacher barked at him to go to detention. He never goes, and you wonder why he would even bother coming – but you understand when you see him parole the hallways like he’s some tyrant king overseeing his domain – and you understand it even more when you see him dealing.

It's insane how different the twins are. You know twins often compliment each other, but Yuuji and Sukuna straight-up reject one other. Because Yuuji is the sweetest, most thoughtful person you’ve ever met, and despite humble beginnings, he’s always proudly boasting about all his younger brothers and older brother Choso – and though he rarely ever mentions Sukuna, you can tell how he’s troubled for his twin’s sake.

You admire Choso. He’s as old a brother as older brothers come. Doing everything for the sake of the younger ones. Packing lunches, helping with homework, drawing baths, and washing clothes. Yuuji helps with a lot of it, but still, the brunt of the decisions rests on Choso’s shoulders.

But despite the heavy bags beneath his tired eyes, he’s always got a lazy smile on his lips. So much love when he tucks all his kid brothers in at night, kissing their foreheads before crashing on the couch at the end of the day – a cold beer and a slim rolled joint in his hands as a little treat.

He always stays up and waits for Sukuna to come home – getting a little antsy if it starts to rain outside, hoping he’s not got himself caught up in some dumb gang again.

He rubs his face, hair disheveled in two top-knots – the TV on low so as not to wake the entire house. But Yuuji comes down the stairs after a while anyway, saying something like, “I’ll go look for him; I think I know where he is…”

And he’s almost always, always, at the graveyard with a bottle of vodka, sitting in just a thin shirt and soaked cargo pants in the pouring rain, all his cigarettes a mushy mess in the mud as he leans his head and back against the cold tombstone of their parents.

“D’you plan om sleeping out here?” Yuuji calls out through the storm, and Sukuna peels his eyes open with a scowl.

The alcohol has made him warm, but still, he’s so cold he can’t feel anything at all. He’s so pale he’s turning blue, and the markings he’d played off as tattoos run down his cheeks in blackish streaks.

Yuuji sighed at the lack of response, crouching down with a hand reached out. “Come on; you’re driving big-bro insane with this bullshit-”

“Fuck off.” He grunts back – his voice is so hoarse and so weak, Yuuji wouldn’t have heard it if he hadn’t expected it.

Still, it riles him up. “If you die, I’m not burying you here. Only family deserves a slot-”

Sukuna growls, staggering into a leap, he tackles Yuuji down in the mud – gracelessly crawling on top of him with his hands around his neck.

But he’s been drinking, and the cold has made him weak, and Yuuji easily turns it around on him – pinning him beneath himself with fists wringing his shirt.

“Jeez, bro- let’s just go home, okay?” He sighs, dismissing the attack. It’s not like it was anything new.

“If I step one foot inside that hellhole, I’m gonna burn it down- with you and everyone in it,” Sukuna mutters back, laying still in the sludge of wilted flowers and downtrodden grass.

Red lines his eyes – and Yuuji can tell, even in the rain…

“Yourself included?” He asks.

His eyes ease up from a narrowed scowl into simple weariness, looking off to the side. “It’s bullshit…” He mumbles. “To fuck us up only to leave…”

“D’you want ‘em to drag us down with ‘em?” Yuuji purposes, his fists loosening their grip.

Sukuna frowns in thought, bitterly accepting his brother’s point. In all his dim glory… Yuuji has always been smarter when it comes to matters of the heart.

“Curse them.” Sukuna grumbles under his breath, and Yuuji gives him a smile.

In all his shitty glory… his twin brother is pretty cute when he pouts after all.

“Wanna piss on their grave?” He quirks through his smile.

Sukuna doesn’t answer, but accepts the hand reached down to him after Yuuji jumped to his feet.

And as they stand there in silence, the rain stops, and the warmth of their piss hitting the cold stone slab makes dew rise along with the morning sun on the horizon.

“There.” Yuuji shakes despite being soaked through and through. “Now let’s go home.”

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strqng3r · 6 months

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“How long will you wait?” “For you? as long as it takes.”

I'm interpreting Mobius' "Let time pass." as "I'll wait for my husband, thank you very much."

#lokius #loki #mobius #loki x mobius #“how long will you wait?” “For you? as long as it takes.”#Bracing myself for the angsty lokius fanfic/art #loki series #loki season 2 #loki spoilers #loki laufeyson

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lokimobius · 1 month

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Do not separate them.

#loki laufeyson #mobius m mobius #lokitvedit #lokius #lokitvsource #mcuedit #marveledit #mine #the way mobius was losing his mind about them being separated #like i totally get it #he didn't know if he could trust loki #but sir this is a roxxcart #mobius was so angsty and stroppy in s1 #him and loki are so similar in many ways

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holdfastperseus · 2 months

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“Every moment of peace you’ve ever experienced was yours because I was here…Alone. At the end of time.”

Loki gave Mobius a chance to live, not knowing that as long as Loki isn’t by his side, he’ll never know peace.

#story of a romance torn apart by fate #you can save him loki but you can never have him #would it be enough if i can never give you peace?#can you tell I’m feeling angsty today #loki #mobius #lokius

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fayeisuppose · 3 months

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I’m not a ‘I can fix him’ or ‘I can make him worse’ I’m a ‘I can stare at him in adoration as he commits several war crimes and murders a family of five’

#Jason Todd #lucifer morningstar #husk hazbin hotel #alastor hazbin hotel #prince zuko #loki laufeyson #like any angsty emo trauma riddled loser bottom

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honeyhhearted · 10 months

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Sweet Dreams

Read on AO3

Warnings: Health Anxiety, Depression, Mentions of Illness (No one is sick, reader just suffers from severe anxiety)

Relationship: Loki/Reader

Summary:

You can't sleep (again).

You're afraid of burdening Loki, so you try to face it alone, when he catches you on one of your sleepless nights.

A/N:

Another fluff short for you <3

I personally really struggle with health anxiety/mild hypochondria, so this one is partially for me too.

You couldn’t sleep again.

When you got out of bed, eyes stinging, neck aching, you sighed to yourself. You hadn’t been able to get any sleep for the last few weeks. Nights spent staring into your phone until 3AM, watching the sun rise and dragging yourself out of bed every day were starting to wear you down. You were sluggish, shoulders drooping, dark circles beneath your eyes.

The sounds of the night kept you company.

You padded quietly down the hallway, doing your best not to wake Loki. You didn’t want to worry him. Part of you knew that you should tell him. He could probably help you, you thought. But something in you tightened at the thought of inconveniencing him. He had a difficult enough time sleeping as it is, without you waking him in the dead of night. You didn’t want to become a burden more than you already were.

Night time was when anxiety plagued you the worst. Its spindly tendrils wrapped themselves around your chest, squeezing every time you dared to close your eyes. What if someone broke in, and you couldn’t stop them? What if they hurt you? What if they hurt him?

Every ache and pain in your body scared you. Sometimes it felt like you were afraid of yourself. You couldn’t let yourself sleep out of fear that you just…wouldn’t wake up. You couldn’t sleep beside Loki without worrying that the usually comforting sound of his even breaths would stop in the middle of the night.

During the day, he would catch you staring too long at a bruise, a scratch. Logically you knew where it would come from. You were incredibly clumsy, prone to bumping into things constantly. But when you could see it, when you stared at the lumps and bumps on your body long enough, you could convince yourself otherwise. Those were the moments he would comfort you, waving a hand over you before telling you, for the eighth time that day, that you were fine.

“Sweetling,” He would say, gently every time, “I promise that you are in good health. What is worrying you so much?”

You always felt a rush of shame. He was so patient, so kind to you, even on the days where he’d have to tell you ten, twelve, times, and his brow would furrow and lips would purse at your fear.

“I’m sorry,” You whispered back. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

So, you stayed awake. Tossing and turning in bed until he drifted off to sleep beside you, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. Scrolling, scrolling, scrolling until your eyes burned and your battery drained. Then you’d get up at 3AM, like clockwork. You’d walk through your home, listening to the soft sounds of crickets outside. You’d sit in the kitchen, coffee prepared in the fridge in advance so the sounds of you rustling around wouldn’t wake Loki.

You sighed. Your head throbbed constantly from exhaustion, and your hands shook. As you sat, sipping your coffee, you felt your eyes begin to water. You were so tired.

It was beginning to take a mental toll on you, the lack of sleep. You were more irritable, snapping at Loki over what you used to laugh about. You knew he deserved better, and you hated yourself when you saw the confusion in his eyes at your poor moods. You just felt so terrible, all the time, and you didn’t know what to do anymore.

Some days, you considered just leaving. It felt like you couldn’t breathe, and you didn’t want to keep dragging him down with you. But the thought of doing so made your stomach clench. So, selfishly, you stayed.

Thor had recommended you see someone. You knew you should. But you just…couldn’t. He approached you hesitantly, some weeks ago, the way someone would a feral animal. He looked so uncomfortable it almost made you laugh to think about, as it was such an out of place look on him.

“I don’t mean to overstep,” he said, awkwardly, “But, sister, are you well? You have been looking…I apologize for my bluntness, overtired. You do not seem physically ill. Has something happened?”

You smiled at him, heart warming at his care for you. The two of you had always been close, but had grown even closer when you started dating his brother. He treated you like a sister, protective and sweet. Your smile faded quickly, though, at his question. You didn’t want to get into it, not when you knew he’d likely tell Loki. You didn’t want to make either of them worry about you - at least not more than they clearly already were.

“I’m okay, Thor, it’s just…I’m just in my own head, I think. That’s all.” Was what you came up with.

He didn’t seem to believe you, but didn’t push it. You were thankful for that. “If you say so. Might I recommend those Midgardian mind healers? Jane regularly attends one.” He looked sheepish. “Don’t tell her I told you. But, I believe it is for moments when you are ‘in your own head’, as you put it.”

You sighed. “I know. I’ll think about it.”

That was weeks ago. You had a tab open to Google, the search “therapists near me” opened on it. It taunted you, most nights. You couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

“Darling?” A raspy, sleep-filled voice came from behind you. You whipped around, trying to blink away your tears. Loki stood in the entryway to the kitchen, eyes bleary as he looked at you. He was paler than normal, a frown firmly pasted on his face. Your heart thumped. Even half awake, you still found him so beautiful.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you?” You asked, making your way over to him.

He wrapped his arms around you, breathing you in. You felt your shoulders relax. He always made you feel better, the familiar scent of spice and pine surrounding you as you listened to the strong sound of his heart.

“I woke, and you were not there.” He said. “I dreamt you were gone, and when I woke, you were.”

Guilt squeezed your stomach. Loki’s nightmares were not frequent, but when he had them they would typically revolve around you. You hurt, missing, dead…those nights were the ones he woke, a horrified noise ripping its way out of his throat, his hands shaking, skin pale. He always reached for you, hugging you to him like a lifeline. You felt terrible that you were not there for him.

“I’m so sorry, honey,” You said, your voice muffled into his chest.

“Why are you out here? It is late.” He pressed a kiss to your head before leaning back to look at you.

You hesitated. “I just couldn’t sleep.”

“Why didn’t you wake me?”

“I…didn’t want to bother you.” You bit your lip, looking down.

“My love.” His voice was stern, yet gentle. “You are never bothering me. Do you hear me? If you need me, I am here. Always.” He paused, taking in your haggard appearance. “How long has this been happening?”

Tears welled in your eyes. Guilt and shame stabbed through your throat as a sob burst out of you. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” You sobbed, fisting his shirt in your hands. “I didn’t want to worry you, or burden you, or make you take care of me-” You inhaled sharply, the pain in your head worsening as you cried. “I just don’t feel good and I’m scared, please don’t be mad at me I’m sorry I didn’t mean to lie to you -” Loki shushed you, cradling your head to his chest as your whole body quivered.

“My love, my love,” He said to you, rocking slightly. “I am so sorry you have dealt with this alone. I am sorry I did not notice sooner. I am not mad, I could never be mad at you for doing what you thought was a good thing. You are not a burden, darling, you never have been a burden. It is an honor and a privilege to take care of you every day. Every day I spend making you happy is the greatest thing I can do.”

You sobbed harder, squeezing him. “I just - I didn’t want to become a chore, I didn’t want you to resent me. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m just so tired.”

He shushed you again, softly, before lifting you in his arms. He pressed a kiss to your forehead as he walked you both back to your bedroom.

He laid you in bed gently before summoning a glass of water for you, placing it on your bedside table, and crawling under the covers. He held you as you calmed yourself, pressing kisses all over your face and whispering gentle affirmations to you. He wiped your tears with a sweet softness, massaged your scalp in a way you’d always found comforting, kissed your fingertips. When you caught your breath, you looked up at him through wet eyelashes.

“I think I need to talk to someone.” You said.

He smiled sadly at you. “Thor told me that he recommended a mind healer for you. They are called therapists on Midgard, yes?”

You nodded. “I was too scared to go.”

He kissed the tip of your nose. “I will be with you every step of the way, my sweet love. There is nothing to be afraid of, and if there is, I will be with you.”

You pressed yourself close to him, burying your head into his cool neck as his arms circled you.

“I love you, Loki,” you said quietly.

“And I love you, so much,” He replied.

He began to sing to you, an Asgardian lullaby you had heard many times, but never deciphered. The rhythmic motion of his hands running up and down your back soothed you, as your eyes drooped and you finally drifted off to sleep.

It was the sweetest sleep you’d had in weeks.

#fanfiction #Loki Laufeyson #loki fanfic #loki fanfiction #loki x reader #loki/reader #loki fluff #emotional hurt/comfort #tw health anxiety #health anxiety #hypochondria #tw anxiety #tw depression #nightmares #one shot #angsty fluff

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1-800-teax · 5 months

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Real

Loki x Reader Drabble

Angsty :(

Y/n’s POV:

"You...will...never...be...a...god." Loki manages to sputter out when Thano's applies more pressure and a loud 'CRACK!' is heard.

I jump awake panting heavily, trying desperately to catch my breath.

"Y/n! Y/n! It's me! I'm here! I'm right here!" Loki says frantically when he jumps awake beside me, clutching my shoulders in his palms, attempting to calm me down.

I look up at him, shock written across my face and fear swimming in my eyes, then his words register , "I'm here! I'm right here!".

Tears instantly fall from my eyes as a broken sob escapes my lips.

Loki's face softens, drowning with guilt before he wraps his arms around me, colliding our bodies as I let out body-shaking sobs, clutching onto his shirt so tightly as if I let go my nightmare will become a reality.

Loki rubs my hair softly while whispering sweet nothings into my ear to calm me down.

Slowly my sobs die down into semi-normal breathing, occupying sorrowful hiccups.

"I'm okay, Y/n. Thanos didn't kill me, I used an illusion. Remember?" he whispers in my ear, assuringly.

I gently nod and slightly loosen my grip on his shirt as I sit up, coming face-to-face with Loki’s tear streaked face.

We both have pouts on our faces as we stare at one another.

"I-" I start when my voice cracks which I realize is because all the crying has my throat hoarse.

I clear my throat before starting again, clearer this time.

“I was so scared. And it wasn't like all the other times you faked your death. No, this time it felt real. I- I felt you die." I express to him softly with hot tears rolling down my face.

"I know. I'm sorry." he whispers out with fresh tears falling from his eyes while gently gripping my small hands into his large ones.

"Please...please don't cry, my love." Loki says softly cupping my cheeks.

I shove my face into Loki’s chest, encouraging him to wrap me into his warm embrace once again.

I allow my hands to roam his strong back, and my ears to listen to the song of his heartbeat, while my nose engulfs his addicting scent. Capturing it all on my most sacred memories.

I hold it close to my heart and give myself a minute to realize that is is alive and breathing and he is real.

So very real and with me. Keeping me safe in his arms. Reminding me that I don’t know what I would do with out him, and making me promise to never have him in harms way again.

#y/n #x reader #loki x avenger!reader #loki x black!reader #loki x reader #lokilaufeyson #the avengers #marvelimagines #marvel #soft loki #angst #angsty

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lokidokieokie · 1 year

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The Space Between

Summary: You and Loki have been friends for years, but your feelings for each other run deep. However, a misunderstanding leads to your friendship falling apart, leaving both of you with a gaping hole in your hearts.

Pairing: Loki Laufeyson x Fem!Asgardian!Reader

Warning(s): angst (like lots of it), friends to lovers trope, mentions of Thor x reader (only one scene), happy ending tho

(as per usual, lemme know if I forgot anything)

Loki had always been your best friend. You had grown up together, your families close and intertwined, so it was no surprise that you two had grown close. You had laughed together, cried together, and even gotten into trouble together.

But you had also loved him. Deeply.

You didn't know when it happened, but at some point, your feelings for Loki had gone from friendship to something more. You had tried to ignore it, to push it down and lock it away, but it had always been there, simmering just beneath the surface.

And you thought that maybe, just maybe, Loki felt the same way. He would look at you in a certain way, touch your arm a little too long, say things that made your heart skip a beat. But you didn't want to ruin what you had, so you said nothing.

That was until the night of the charity ball. You had gone together, dressed to the nines, and had a great time. But then, you saw him. Thor, Loki's brother, was there too, and you saw the way he looked at you, the way he talked to you, and you thought that maybe...just maybe, Loki had set you up with his brother as a way to let you down gently.

And so, you did the only thing you could think of -- you kissed Thor. It was a mistake, a desperate attempt to get over Loki, but it had the opposite effect. Because when Loki saw you with his brother, he didn't understand the truth. All he saw was betrayal.

He didn't talk to you for weeks after that, and when he finally did, it was with anger and hurt in his eyes. You tried to explain, to tell him that it was all a misunderstanding, but he wouldn't hear it. And so, your friendship fell apart, leaving both of you alone and hurting.

Months passed, and you tried to move on. You attempted to date other people, but they never felt quite right. You missed Loki, missed his laughter, his touch, his smile. And then, one day, he showed up on your doorstep, his eyes haunted and his heart on his sleeve.

You both sat in silence, your hearts racing with unspoken emotions -- the tension in the air was palpable. And the longer you sat there, the more the silence seemed to weigh you both down.

When he couldn’t take the silence anymore, Loki spoke up. “I... I have something to confess to you, Y/n.”

Your heart skipped a beat, “What is it?” you asked, your voice barely a whisper.

Loki took a deep breathe before continuing, “I've been keeping something from you... in hindsight it should’ve been something that I had told you long ago...”

Your mind raced with possibilities, but you couldn't have guessed the words that were about to spill from Loki's soft lips.

“I... I'm in love with you, and probably have been for much longer than my mind knows,” Loki said, his eyes fixed on the ground.

Your heart swelled with emotion, but at the same time, was crushed by waves of fear and uncertainty. The months of sorrow and grief over your friendship lost, the loneliness... the isolation that came with it.

“Loki, I...” you began, your voice cracking with emotion.

Before you could continue, Loki interrupted. “I understand if you no longer feel the same way, or never felt the same way in the first place; but especially now, with the way I’ve treated you these past few months...”

With his eyes still trained on your bedroom floor, he quickly spoke, “I just had to tell you, as I couldn’t keep it inside any longer.”

You were speechless. For years--decades even--you had avidly hoped that those words would slip from between his supple lips and you would both get the happily ever after you both deserved. But nothing ever happened; your relationship to the god never took any steps towards romance.

Loki, misunderstanding you silence as rejection, begins to stand up. “I wish you the happiest of lives, my dear Y/n... even if it means that you end up with my brother and not me.”

Your heart sank, as if it were a mighty ship being pulled into the vast ocean below. He thought you were interested in Thor? Had he thought that you had only been interested in Thor? Just as he reached his hand towards you doorknob, your strained voice halted him.

“You thought that I’d loved Thor all this time?”

Loki sighed, “You kissed him, Y/n. I think that sums everything up.”

You tutted, “If you’d just let me explain it months ago, you would’ve known that I’d only kissed Thor because I thought that you had set me up with him.”

Loki tensed as he turned to face you. “And why in the Norns would I set the woman I love up with my brother?”

“Because I thought you were letting me down gently, you oaf!” You cried.

“When you believe that the man you love doesn’t love you back, you’ll do anything in your power to try and forget it. Even if that means kissing someone to distract yourself from the pain.”

And with that, Loki surged forward, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into a deep, passionate kiss. For a moment, everything else melted away, and you were both lost in each other’s embrace.

As you finally pulled away, both of you breathless, Loki looked into your eyes. “I’ve been such a fool this whole time,” he said, a small sigh escaping through the corners of his mouth. “And I’m truly sorry. I was so angry and blinded by what I thought was a betrayal that I didn’t even let you get in any sort of explanation.”

And in that moment, as you looked into his eyes, you knew that you forgave him, and that ultimately, you still loved him too. The space between you, one that was once so vast and insurmountable, had closed, and you were finally where you belonged.

In each other’s arms.

A/N I hope you enjoyed this little thing I put together :)

Taglist! Everything: @thewaithfuckingannoyme @evelyn-kingsley Loki: @dryyoursaltyoceantears

#loki #loki x reader #loki laufeyson #Loki Laufeyson x Reader #friends to lovers #tom hiddleston #loki fanfic #loki x fem!reader #angsty angst #fluff #love confessions #tom hiddleston x reader

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whumpypepsigal · 5 months

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Loki s02e05: “Without them, where do I belong?”

#whumpedit #whump #loki series #loki tv series #loki #loki laufeyson #tom hiddleston #angst #worry #on the verge of tears #tears #teary eyed #i dont want to be alone #emotional whump #my gifs #loki spoilers #this scene :(#loki admitting what he fears the most… angsty tearing up lips quivering ahhhh my heart

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feelingsareforweak · 8 months

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I joined mcu because of Dumbass geniuses Peter, Tony, Strange and Loki and im leaving mcu because of Peter, Tony, Strange and Loki beCAUSE THEY DESERVED BETTER YOU MFS-

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lokisprettygirl · 1 year

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Heat Waves (Loki x Female Reader) (Angst)

Summary: Loki let you go so you'd be happier... without him.

Warning: mention of trauma and torture, suicide, past abuse, mention of smut, accidental physical abuse, angst with a bittersweet ending, 1000 words considered a drabble or not?

Song

Last night, all I think about is you

Don't stop, baby, you can walk through

Don't want, baby, think about you

You know that I'm never gonna lose

Loki watched as Barnes dragged you along with him to the dance floor, he watched your smile lighting up the dimly lit lounge of the tower and his heart broke, all over again. It's been a year but the pain didn't cease, it only got worse. But you seemed happy and that kept him going. He could have had all that and more but he allowed you to go, he pushed you away, he destroyed that one thing that was keeping him sane just so he could keep you safe, so he could protect you from himself.

"Sometimes all I think about is you.

Late nights in the middle of June,

Heat waves been faking me out,

Cn't make you happier now"

"Lokii please I love you baby..please we can fix it..I'll fix it I promise..it's not your fault" you cried as you clung on to him, you could feel him slipping away again and you knew this time you'd lose him forever.

He pulled you away, he knew he was signing a death sentence, he knew he'd never get over you but he had to let you go, he wasn't what you deserved. You deserved the world and he can't give you that.

He sipped on his drink as he watched James dancing with you on the dance floor, he heard the sound of your laughter and it pierced his heart, he should have been the one to make you laugh like that, he should have been the one to twirl you around in his arms, he should have been the one dancing with you like you two had done a countless times before.

Usually I put

Something on TV

So we never think

About you and me

But today I see

Our reflections

Clearly in Hollywood

Laying on the screen

"I love you so much..lo..gosh yes I love youu" you moaned the confession amidst the whirlwind of passionate sex and he just stared at your dumbfounded, you loved him? He was loved. He was loved and it felt too good to be true, the universe finally had him on its mercy, he finally had someone to belong to , someone to call his own. And for once his heart felt content, it was filled with hope, all because of you.

"I love you princess"

He did, he truly did, and for a moment he really thought he would have it all but he should have known better. He should have known that you'd never be happy with him.

You just need a better life than this

You need something I can never give

Fake water all across the road

It's gone now, the night has come

He should have stayed away from you, but he couldn't, he kept crawling back to you because without you nothing made sense to him anymore, this never ending life didn't feel worth living anymore. He wanted to give up, like he had done before, he wanted to end the excruciating pain but he couldn't have been that selfish, he couldn't have done that to you, you'd never move on from it, you'd never forgive him for that. You'd blame yourself even though none of this was your fault.

You can't fight it

You can't breathe

You say something so loving, but

Now I've got to let you go

You'll be better off with someone new.

You seemed happy, happier with Barnes, happier than he ever could have made you. He wasn't like that, he wasn't wired for this type of love. The type that made him want to forget his past and the abuse he has been through, you made him better, he knew that but he kept falling into the old habits, he couldn't get past the trauma, he tried. He really did try.

"Don't leave me princess..I need you..I love you please" he cried and cried his heart out in your arms. Another night, another nightmare, when he was good, he was untouched, you both had several good days, the future seemed attainable but then he'd fall back right where he started from.

"I would never ever leave..look at me" his eyes devoid of any light as he stared at you.

"You should"

"I would never leave..I love you..hear me..I love you lo"

He clutched onto you as you assured him, he wanted to give you the world, he just wanted to keep you happy.

He really tried his best but he failed.

I don't wanna be alone

You know it hurts me too

You look so broken when you cry

One more and then I'll say goodbye

Another nightmare, another attack, but this time he put his hands on you because in the haze of his nightmare he couldn't differentiate between you and them. He promised to never hurt you. He promised to never put his fingers on you but he failed, ofcourse he failed, he should have known better..

"Lokii babyy …" your eyes welled up as you cooed to him, he watched the fresh bruise forming on your neck and he shattered in pieces, that one single moment destroyed him . He'd face all that torture then to see you like this.

"Get out y/n"

"Noo listen to me..it's not your fault lo.. please listen"

"Get the fuck out of my life before I hurt you further" You shook your head as you you knew he was going to break both of your hearts, you couldn't lose him, he was all you had.

"So that's it? You're giving up on me..on us?" You asked him and he just stared at you mindlessly, he didn't know how to make you happy anymore, all he has done lately is make you cry. Seeing you all happy was the only thing keeping him going and he was taking that away from you too.

"I just want you to be happy princess, and you're not happy"

I just wonder what you're dreaming of

When you sleep and smile so comfortable

I just wish that I could give you that

That look that's perfectly un-sad

His eyes met with yours from across the hall so you gave him a smile and he smiled back, you seemed happy, and that's all he has ever wanted for you, it didn't matter to him that he wasn't the one making you feel so.

Sometimes, all I think about is you

Late nights in the middle of June

Heat waves been faking me out

"Why are you doing this y/n?"

You turned your attention towards Bucky as he questioned you.

"Doing what?"

"This? Pretending to be happy, pretending that you're just fine without him? When the truth is far from it, we both know that"

Nobody could make you feel the way he did. It was impossible, you couldn't have fallen in love with someone else when you were still in love with Loki. Your eyes teared up, the pain you felt when you lost him would never cease, your heart would never un-break. But even with all the pain in there you smiled as wide as you could.

"Because he wants to see me like this, he wants me to be happy..so I am..happy"

#loki x female reader #loki #loki x reader angst #loki x reader fluff #loki x reader #loki x reader insert #loki x reader fic #loki x you #post avengers loki #angsty #Spotify

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