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purple-vixen · 3 years

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Batfamily interactions involving vines - Headcanon

A/N: I've been wanting to write this for a while. This is my first headcanon by the way, I hope you enjoy! - Vix

• Whenever Dick screws up, Tim and Steph ALWAYS shout "What the fuck, Richard?"

• Jason also gets on board just for the sheer pleasure of pissing Dick off.

• When no one was around, Jason sat on the Wayne Manor piano and started hitting the keys trying to recreate that "Is there anything better than p****? Yes, a really good book." vine

• As soon as he played the last chord, one of the shelves started moving and Bruce's collection of Ming dynasty vases crashed into the floor

• And that's how Jason found out about the Batcave's old entrance.

• Tim set his voicemail greeting to a record of him saying "Oh hi, thanks for checking in, I'm still a piece of garbage".

• Damian once tried to convince the other batboys into becoming vegetarian when they stopped by the Bat Burger drive-through after patrol. As soon as he realized they weren't buying it, in a fit of rage Damian yelled "Fuck your chicken strips!"

• Barbara often quotes the country boy vine when she's with Dick, but instead of saying "country boy" she says it like "Circus boy, I love yoooooou".

• During meetings in the cave, whenever Bruce asks them to look at some graph from the intel he gathered, the Batkids always snicker then start singing Photograph by Nickelback in unison and Bruce regrets his life choices for 4 minutes and 18 seconds straight.

• Bruce threw a Bat-glare at Steph because he was interrogating a Two-Face thug that was playing dumb and Steph was in the background dancing while singing "Why the fuck you lying? Why you always lying? Stop fucking lying"

• There was this time Jason showed up in the med-bay with two soprano flutes stuck on his nose

• Jason was about to explain to Alfred that Barbara had bet 5 dollars if he played the John Cena theme with two flutes in his nostrils just like the kid from the video

• Before Jason could even speak, Alfred cut him off and said "Save your breath, at this point I'd be far more terrified if I knew what happened.".

• Steph and Cass thought tying a potato to the ceiling fan in Cassandra's bedroom because of that vine would be a good idea

• It was all fun and games until the fan started spinning too fast and the potato flew out and made a hole in the window glass

• Less than 5 minutes after that, a ladder was put near the window and, Alfred, who was trimming the Wayne Manor garden, appeared, covered in leaves and with a head bump

• Alfred retrieved the potato and calmly commented "The fact that this is the most ordinary thing I have seen today really amazes me."

• As soon as he left, a mortifying silence established while Frank Ocean played in the background. That was until Cass mumbled "A potato flew around my head before you came."

• Tim has two Instagram accounts, one for his civilian identity and the other for Red Robin

• One night Bruce made him wait in the Batmobile while he discussed something with Selina

• Tim got bored, sat on the Batmobile driver's seat and started a live stream through his Red Robin account

• During the live, he reenacted the "I'm in my mom's car" vine, but in that part where the mom spoke, Tim would make an impression of Batman saying "Get off my car."

• Batman showed up out of the blue and said "What are you doing in my seat?"

• Tim instantly turned the live off and jumped back to the passenger's seat faster than Flash

• Using Instagram during patrol was banned by Bruce after that night.

• One morning Barbara was having breakfast with Jim and while reading the newspaper headline about Penguin running for mayor, Barbara grumbled "Gosh, sometimes I wish I was Jared, 19"

• James Gordon, a dad confused over social media, especially memes, asks in response: "Who the fuck is that Jared 19 and why the hell so many people want to be like him?"

• After seeing that vine of a cat installing a cable, Damian tried to train Alfred (the cat) into doing the same thing

• Long story short, the family's Xbox was sent to tech support and Damian had to pay for the repair with his allowance.

• One time Dick and Jason were working together on a case about missing children

• "There's only one thing worse than a kidnapper." Dick said as he wrote on a board the word "child" over "kidnapper"

• "A child!" Jason exclaimed with assurance.

• "No!"

• "Especially if that child is Damian."

• "Jason, no!"

• The biggest April fools prank the Batkids ever did was related to a vine.

• There's a vine where a guy brings helium balloons inside a car and the car starts floating.

• So they decided to tie hundreds of balloons into the Batmobile.

• The floating Batmobile was being broadcast all over the news in Gotham.

• Once again Bruce regrets his life choices

• "Have kids, Master Bruce." Bruce grumbled, remembering what Alfred used to tell him. "Kids are good to keep you company, Master Bruce." He grumbled while throwing away a trash bag full of popped balloons. "Should have gotten a ferret. Ferrets don't tie helium balloons to your car, and neither leave the toilet lid open."

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light-miracles · 3 years

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Would it be okay to ask for a writing prompt with SuperBat? Maybe idk Kate’s been missing for ages and Kara has been looking for her non stop and she finally comes back and like visits Kara and Kara just basically breaks down because her best friend was missing and she missed having her worlds finest buddy by her side? I realise this is a long prompt but like I love them and we need more SuperBat fanfics.

Freakin finally, L

......

It was Ally's call what woke her up in the middle of the night, after spending more hours than what she should working in a report for the Senate she had to deliver in two days. Her niece was direct and clear, like all Danvers through the generations. Faintly behind her in the background noise, she could hear Nira Nal's voice telling someone to hold on, not to lose consciousness. Kara immediately stopped feeling any tiredness and got out of the bed. "What?"

"A woman dressed as a bat literally just fell from the sky. Her DNA links her to the Kane family, but she's obviously not Kitty, and her costume seems to be a relic. Aunt Kara, I think it's an accidental time traveler. I need you to-"

Kara ran out her house and in less than ten seconds she was already there.

......

At no point did Kate lose consciousness, but her pain was so intense that she wished she had. She had a vague understanding of everything that had just happened. Alice threatening to blow up the city, the building below her collapsing, she falling, falling, falling uncontrollably and with nowhere to shoot her hook, an excruciating light and then the her painful impact against a car.

Then there was two strange faces in front of her telling her to hold on. Confusing colors. Her mind clouded. At no point the relief of unconsciousness but the blinding torture of pain.

And when she regained her mental clarity, she was sitting in a shiny headquarters, with a couple of weird cables attached to her arm and three people talking around her. Someone had found her and helped her. A great relief washed over her when she recognized Kara. "Super."

"Hey," said Supergirl leaning in front of her. It was Kara. Beautiful, brave Kara. The others must have come to help when they heard of the disaster. Kate wasn't selfish enough not to admit that she was relieved, even if it meant owing Allen a favor. "The city... Alice ..."

"Don't worry, everything is fine," said her friend, putting her shaking hands on her shoulders. "Everything is fine."

"No, it's not okay, the bombs exploded." Kate tried to stand up, remove the cables from her arms, and go back outside where her city needed her. And where was Mary? Luke? Her father?

"Kate, no, don't move, please. You're not fully healed yet."

"I have to help them."

"There's no one to help Kate. Please don't move. Listen to me. Gotham is fine. Everyone is fine. And you have to sit back and let Daydream heal you. She's the best, it won't take long. "

That must be true, because as the seconds passed clearer the image around her became. The lab was very high-tech, bright and white, with things she hadn't seen in her life. The two women next to Kara were strangers and yet they looked familiar. Kara wasn't wearing her outfit but what clearly looked like pajamas, her short hair (short?) tousled like she'd just gotten out of bed.

She looked older. At least ten years older.

"This isn't real," murmured Kate without looking away from her pretty face.

Kara put both hands on her cheeks, holding her gaze. "It's real Kate. I'm here with you."

"Where am I?" she asked trying to control the growing (strange) panic. "What's going on?"

"It's the year 2300," replied Kara slowly. "You have been missing for 280 years."

.....

The only thing that seemed real was Kara's hand holding hers firmly.

Kate thanked her training for her ability of remaining calmed at the face of the strange aspects of her life. It had been useful to her when the Multiverse died because a bald zombie in a robot suit was having a bad day, and it would be useful to her now. If Sara Lance and her team could, so could she. She just had to stick to the facts, evaluate the information, and focus on a way to fix it.

Kara's presence would make it easier.

The brown haired young woman explaining what they thought had happened. In 2020, when Kate fell from the building, somehow a wormhole opened that took her to 2300. For her it had been only seconds. For the rest of the world, centuries.

"Excuse me, what was your name?" asked Kate.

"Ally Danvers," the young woman replied. "I'm Kara's niece."

Kate looked at Kara to confirm, and she nodded. "Great great great something niece, but who counts these days?"

"And I'm Nira Nal, Daydream," the woman a little older than Ally said, stepping forward and bowing slightly. "I think that in your time they shook hands, but we don't do that anymore."

Evidently the little brunette who had been Kara's apprentice had also had a family. Kate nodded again.

"Everything must be very confusing for you, maybe we should give you a moment..."

"How do I come back to 2020?" Kate interrupted. "Someone put me in touch with the Legends. Hell, even Allen would be enough. I don't want to rest, I want to go home and stop Alice."

Ally cleared her throat a little. "It might be a bit more complicated than that. We need a little time to-"

"Look, Agent Danvers 9.0 or whatever, you may have all the time in the world but my city was literally falling apart just now. I have to go back and help my city, now."

It was Kara who answered. "It will take a while, Kate. Time travel isn't that easy anymore. But I'll take you home, I promise."

"This is the future," replied Kate, feeling a sudden rejection for the woman with Kara's face and Kara's voice but that wasn't her Kara. Not completely. "Don't you have loads of time machines and 200 mini Barrys with ridiculous names running around?"

"No, not anymore," Nira Nal replied. "Time travel was completely forbidden years ago. We can bring you home, but it's going to take us a couple of days to get a machine."

"Time travel is forbidden?"

"Yes, I forbade it," said Kara.

Kate turned to look at the blonde woman.

"I'm the President of Earth, Kate."

The bat woman blinked confusedly. "President..."

"Candidate for President of the Solar System next year!" said Nira cheerfully.

It was all too much, and Kate didn't want to show any sign of weakness but it was too much. Kara took her hands. "It's late. Come with me, please. I'll explain everything you want to know at my place, and tomorrow we'll start looking for a time machine. We'll fix it. But Ally and Nira have to go now, someone has to sleep tonight."

Kate still wasn't convinced that she shouldn't just turn around and get out of there.

"World finest, remember?" Kara asked with a small smile.

That helped her make her decision.

....

Kate thought that Kara would take her wherever she was going to take her flying. Instead, they both entered what would in the past have been described as a car but to Kate's eyes looked like a mini tank.

They didn't talk on the way, Kate intently looking at the incredible futuristic city around her, the glowing towers, the long, labyrinth-like streets, the flying vehicles in the sky, and the Kryptonian carefully staring at her at her side. Only Kara could not pay attention to the street at all and drive with absolute safety. Like everything else she did, she did it perfectly.

They left the city towards a two-story red house, which seemed totally mundane. And old, at least for what seemed to be the rest of the future. It had a porsche, two roofs and a small garden where Kate could see a lot of different flowers, dimly lit by the white light coming from the bright lamps.

"I thought you'd live in the White House."

"No, that's still only for the president of the country. I work in the embassy of the planet and live where I want. I use this house when I want to be near Ally and Nira."

"Always taking care of your family."

"You already know me."

Kate still wasn't totally convinced, but she nodded. "The city is not Gotham or National. Where exactly are we?"

"Unity City," replied Kara. "It was founded by Kal 150 years ago."

Still in her Batwoman outfit, Kate got out of the vehicle and rushed into the house, assuming no one was around to see her face or Kara would have said something, the little Bruce in her mind scolding her for having her face uncovered. But she was trying to focus on one problem at a time so she ignored her annoying imaginary cousin.

And it was when the door closed behind them that everything started to feel real.

The place looked so hideously normal that Kate wanted to snap her fingers to make sure no robot butler would come asking for her coat. Kate turned around and Kara was there, by the door, looking at her like she hadn't seen her in centuries and that look of hers broke her heart.

"I know it's only been a few hours for you," said the older-looking short haired Kara. "But I'm so happy to see you, Kate. I thought I'd never see you again. I never knew what happened to you. I thought-" Kara let out a sob.

Kate could never bear to see her sad, so she hugged her. It was the first time all day that she felt like herself. The only thing she felt familiar.

It was Kara. Older, with another hairstyle and almost imperceptible wrinkles around her eyes. But she smelled like Kara. Her hugs felt like Kara's. So Kate closed her eyes and returned her hug with all her strength.

..........

After taking off her batsuit and laying it on a chair, Kate Kane took a quick shower in a bathroom that looked normal except for a small water fountain next to the toilet and the fact that the shower water floated around her instead of falling. After coming out, she dried off and put on a comfortable green pajama that seemed never to have been worn. Probably because it wasn't pink and she didn't imagine Kara's fashion tastes changing, ever.

Kate came out of the bathroom with her hair still wet, studying the house some more. Strangely, Kara no longer had photographs, when in the past she used to have many photos of her friends on her walls. The decor was less colorful too, more sober, fewer kitten figurines and more desks and books and strange objects that Luke would surely kill to use. Kate took one that looked like a remote control, pressed a button, and a small hologram of Saturn appeared in front of her eyes.

"That's a letter they sent me from Titan," said Kara entering the living room, having changed out of her old pajamas for a clean new set. "It turns out that on some of Saturn's moons there are favorable conditions for living. A group of explorers founded a colony fifty years ago."

"Sounds like something out of a bad movie."

"Nobody watches movies anymore, but you're right."

Kate put the remote control down on the table. "Nobody watches movies anymore?"

"Well, I suppose some people still do, but cinematography is considered an ancient art now. They're not as popular as they were in the early 21st century. They're hard to find too."

"Do you still watch movies?"

"You know me, Kate. I couldn't survive without my weekly dose of Frozen," she said smiling and turning away from the door. "Would you like to have dinner with me?"

She nodded and entered the deceptively plain-looking kitchen, all the while Kara staring at her as if she might disappear at any moment. Maybe she was going to do it. Maybe this time travel thing was only safe if you were a Flash or had a time machine. Perhaps at any moment the universe would simply erase her as if she had never been born.

The food on the white table in the kitchen looked magnificent. It was a stew with potatoes. Kate didn't know how hungry she was until she smelled it.

"All kosher, of course."

That moved her deeply, but she did not allow her face to show it.

They both sat silently, facing each other, smiled slightly and began to eat in silence, until Kate could no longer ignore her own nerves and looked up at Kara. The blonde looked at her with a smile on her face, as if patiently waiting for her to talk first.

"Sorry, it's all so..."

"Confused."

"Weird," said Kate. "I had lunch with you last week and now you're... older, and we're in the future."

"I remember that lunch very well. It was the last time I saw you," she said with a sad smile. "I ... never stopped looking for you, not even when you were declared legally dead years later. No one gave up. Sara and her team even asked Gideon to look for you through the timeline, but she couldn't find you. I don't understand why."

"Maybe the thing that brought me here was something different," said Kate rubbing her hands together. "I'll look into it when I get home, and I guess you will too."

Part of Kate wanted to ask her about the future, and another part of her wanted to know absolutely nothing. She knew very well that she could be influenced and change what was supposed to be her future. However, her future was Kara's past. Or at least this Kara's, who was similar enough to her friend to trust her and different enough not to let her guard down entirely.

"So, you're president of the planet now."

The blonde nodded. "Yes, for ten years now."

"And you banned time travel."

"I did, yeah," she said, looking away for the first time, using her dinner as an excuse. "Eventually we discovered that it was too dangerous and could have catastrophic consequences so we banned it. The Time Bureou was dismantled. Brainy had to go back to his own time immediately."

"Consequences like what?"

"The timeline is much more fragile than it seems. Also, for example, if two people from different times have a child, it can create a paradox that could swallow the universe. It was too risky and I had to ban it. That's why believe me when I tell you that take you back to 2020 is practically a global priority, and you will be back very soon."

Kate's instinct told her that there was something Kara wasn't telling her, but she decided not to press it right away. "Good. Meeting Mia was good, but there are also dangerous assholes like Reverse Flash. And I respect and appreciate Sara and Barry but..."

"They were like lemurs with machine guns?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah, more or less," said Kara with a sad smile. Kate realized that she had spoken in the past tense about their friends.

"And... is there anyone left?"

Kara's gaze lit up, and she drank a glass of water before answering. "Kal is still in Metropolis, but he's taking some sabbatical years. He's not as active as before but if anyone deserves a break it's him. J'onn is still alive, but he's very old, and can't move as much as before. His children and I visit him very often."

"Children? Oh, good for him."

"Yes," Kara smiled. "He and M'gann were very nervous at first, no one had had yellow Martians in millennia."

"Yellow?"

"Children of green and white Martians."

"Sounds colorful. Anyone else?"

"Charlie, Sara's friend. She hasn't really changed. It's as if time hasn't passed for her. Andrea Rojas is also-"

"Fuck, your awful boss is still alive? What the hell?"

Kara laughed, smiling like old times and making Kate feel her heart flutter. "She's not been my boss in centuries, thank goodness. And it turned out she's half Jarhanpurian. That was a long time ago," she said leaning forward, as if she were going to tell her a secret. "Do you remember Gemma Cooper?"

"Walmart Karen?" said Kate, and they both shared a laugh as they remembered what they used to call the old hideous Obsidian North member.

"Well, Gemma was secretly part of this group of Jarhanpurians hidden in the planet, Leviathan. At that time we didn't know it but she was Andrea's mother."

"Ugh, so a jerk and with super powers."

"And one of them is to age as slowly as a Kryptonian," Kara drank water again. "She's on Titan now, sometimes she sends me letters."

"Then she must not be a jerk anymore," said Kate quietly. And she suddenly knew she had to change the subject before asking about who she really wanted to ask. Mary. Luke. Sophie. Her father.

Alice

Whenever she thought of her sister she only felt pain.

"I have to go home, Kara."

"I know. I'll do anything I can to make you come back safe and sound."

Kate sighed wearily. "Being here can't be good for the timeline."

"Don't worry about that, the timeline can fix itself when you come back to 2020." Kara reached out and cupped her hand on the table, gently stroking her knuckles. Kate wished she hadn't. She was still as intensely beautiful as she was when they first met, and Kate at the time was too tired to be careful not to do something stupid, like tell her she loved her and ask her to kiss her.

So she just smiled wearily. "World Finest?"

Kara's eyes gleamed. "Always."

#This is long wtf so if you see a typo feel free of telling me #Supergirl #Batwoman #Superbat #Superbat^2 #Kanvers #Kara Zor-El #Kara danvers #Kate kane

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diyunho · 4 years

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The Joker x Reader - “A.N.N.I.E.”

A.N.N.I.E. (Artificial Non-Neurological Intelligent Entity) is an outdated android model that emerged on the market two years ago. The Joker purchased her as a toy for his son not knowing she will become the recipient of desperate attempts to keep Y/N with him. After the woman’s unexpected death, experiments meant to transfer her conscience inside Annie failed yet The King of Gotham couldn’t part with the only thing that reminded him of someone he actually cared about.

“Can you fix her?” The Joker asks the two programmers that have been assessing the android for the past 15 minutes.

“Hard to tell sir, but we are trying to determine what triggered the malfunction,” Zariah points at the 4 laptop screens simultaneously running diagnostics. “Recently there’s been a spike in flaws regarding A.N.N.I.E. models; after all they were released 2 years ago. I would recommend acquiring the most current technology…”

“No need to!” J bitterly cuts him off. “Just fix her!”

“We will do our best, sir!” Mickel reassures The King of Gotham: his wretched temper might interfere with today’s agenda and the two hackers simply can’t afford it.

“Your best is not enough,” The Joker growls. “She cornered my son last night and almost crushed him against the wall. I had to use manual override to shut her down. That’s not typical machine behavior, is it?!”

“No sir, although I’ve heard of similar incidents in the past months. If it continues, Annie prototype will be pulled off the market soon,” Zariah informs.

“Her name‘s not Annie,” The Clown Prince of Crime interrupts the unwanted advice. “Her name’s Y/N!”

Awkward silence and Kase’s voice resonates from upstairs.

“Daddy?... Daddy?...”

“My son’s awake; I’ll be back,” J abandons the two men in a hurry and stumbles on the numerous cables connecting the laptops to the cyborg on his way out.

“Goddammit!”, he huffs through his clenched teeth before vanishing around the corner.

“That was fucking weird,” Mickel whispers. “What does he means her name is not A.N.N.I.E.?! Am I crazy? Is this not Artificial Non-Neurological Intelligent Entity sitting in that chair?!”

“Of course it is,” Zariah confesses in low tone. “He gives me the creeps too how he thinks she’s in there.”

“What do you mean “she”?” the obvious question follows.

“Check those cords,” Zariah urges and continues: “You noticed he corrected me with the name for the pile of rubbish.”

“Yeah,” the other guy begins typing a bunch of configurations while listening to the scoop.

“Y/N used to take care of his kid. Nobody can say who she really was: some believe she might have even been the mother, that her and Mister Joker were together. Others swear the little boy called her auntie; maybe she actually was Mister J’s sibling. Who the hell knows? She was a strange woman and she looked… different also,” Zariah’s gaze circles the premises to make sure their employer is not eavesdropping.

“No shit!” Mickel frowns at the statistics popping up on the monitors.

“Yeah, I saw her a few times, gave me the creeps. Something was off with her, you just could tell. Mister J always had jerks working for him and I guess they clashed with Y/N quite often: it got so bad they dared planning a prank that ended horribly. Do you know the warehouse on 14th street? The 6 stories one?”

“No.”

“Well, supposedly it happened there: Mister J was out of town and had no clue about the scheme plotted without his consent. The crew took his son on the roof and threatened they will toss him off the building if she doesn’t jump instead.”

“And?!” Mickel halts his typing, intrigued.

“She jumped… … they didn’t think she would.”

“Holy crap! I had no idea!”

“Dude, it was a disaster!” Zariah shrugs depicting the facts. “Y/N splattered all over the concrete, broken to pieces… Despite the severe injuries, she didn’t die immediately: she was in a coma for almost a month before passing away. Mister J had Annie already, he probably bought her as a toy for Kase when it first emerged on the market. The rumor is that while Y/N was in a coma he kidnapped scientists and forced them to work on a senseless project: transferring her conscience inside Annie.”

“You’re shitting me!” Mickel exclaims at the insane disclosure.

“Nope.”

“Can’t be done; it’s impossible!”

“And who’d dare explain the obvious to him, huh? Not the researchers he killed the moment she stopped breathing if you get my drift.”

“That’s messed up!” Mickel forcefully exhales, infinitely more nervous about being at The Penthouse for the moment.

“Do you remember the serial murders that shook Gotham 3 months ago?” Zariah has more gossip for his partner. “It was Mister J hunting down every single person that was on the roof the day Y/N jumped.”

“We shouldn’t be here,” the anxious Mickel shrugs. “Maybe we should abandon our mission.”

“Bulshit! They’ll pay us double over anything he offers so don’t be a pussy! Speaking of, you should assemble the guns prior to his return!”

Mickel is reluctant to the whole scenario, yet he compiles the two guns out of items resembling computer parts scattered in their suitcases: that’s how they were able to deceive security.

“Done,” he stashes one finished weapon under his jacket, offering the other to Zariah.

“Remain calm and we’ll be ok,” the latest mumbles. “Let’s pretend we’re here to repair this junk.”

A couple more minutes pass by and The Joker’s presence alongside his offspring makes the two guys cringe.

The little boy hides behind his father’s legs, shyly glancing the android’s way.

“Don’t be scared,” J grumbles. “She’s in power saving mode, it’s fine.”

“Yes, it’s perfectly safe,” Zariah winks. “We are almost done extracting all the data,” he gestures at the laptop’s screens.

Kase giggles and rushes to climb on Annie’s knees, excited to see her after she wasn’t allowed to sleep in his room last night which is understandable since the robot went bonkers.

“Hi Y/N,” the child softly pulls on her long hair. “I want waffles pwease.”

The hackers exchange meaningful glares and The Joker replies:

“She can’t for now,” he mutters. “She’s defective. Frost will take you out for breakfast, alright?”

“Does it hurt?” the 5 year old pouts at his parent’s affirmation: he doesn’t comprehend all the words and it’s difficult for a kid to process the concept of transference.

After Y/N died, The Joker told Kase she moved inside Annie: he wasn’t delusional about his failed experiment but it was easier to make his son cope with the loss of the woman that raised him. J doesn’t literally believe there’s any trace of Y/N in the machine: how could it be? Several months passed and nothing proved what he tried to accomplish succeeded: a twisted concept originating from a distorted mind was doomed from the start.

“It doesn’t hurt,” The Clown Prince of Crime sighs. “She’s resting.”

“Sir, I think you should see this,” Mickel gets his attention.

“What am I looking at?”

“You used voice command to lock down the android?” Zariah pinpoints at the monitor to his left.

“I did.”

“That’s not what turned off the system: see the numbers flowing borderline with the central matrix, the tiny squares? She wasn’t locked down by external command, she was terminated from within.”

“What do you mean?!” Mickel scoots over in his rolling chair, baffled.

“Somebody trespassed the firewall,” his accomplice utters the obvious.

J is less than happy with the random discovery still he requires confirmation of his suspicion.

“Meaning?”

“Annie, I mean Y/N is the recipient of a cyber-attack: she’s been hacked.”

“Hacked?” J scoffs. “What for? She’s just a companion android, it doesn’t make any sense.”

“Not sure, sir…” Zariah lifts his shoulders up, baffled.

“Can you find the source?” the green haired individual suggests.

“Analyzing the algorithm shows puzzling results: these numbers should be repeating themselves every so often, yet they don’t; never seen anything like it and I’ve been dealing with computers for a long time,” Mickel adds. “The most interesting detail is certainly challenging our expertise: tracking the root of the signal is pretty much unachievable. We should see input bouncing around from different servers because this is how hackers disguise their trail; but… this particular livestream happened simultaneously from various servers around the country.”

“There’s practically 0% chance for such abnormal hacking with today’s technology!” Zariah scrunches up his face at the baffling discovery. “How in the world was it done?!”

“You’re the experts!” The Joker barks. “I hired you based on strong recommendations from others that used your skills. Can you fix her or not?!”

“Of course, sir.”

“Yes!” the two associates ease The Clown’s doubt. “We’ll unplug the cables, we already removed all necessary info.”

Kase watches them detach the cords from Annie’s access ports, the child sulking at their action.

“Y/N, does it hurt?” he asks and hops off her lap. The empty shell doesn’t respond since the robot is in power saving mode.

“It doesn’t hurt,” The King of Gotham duplicates his earlier statement. “Frost!” he addresses the henchman entering the living room. “Take him to our restaurant on Madison Avenue for breakfast then he can play at the property on Foster Creek until we are done here. I want a 3 cars escort.”

“Yes, boss. I’ll call in advance and tell them not to open the place until we’re done.”

“Good,” J agrees with his henchman’s proposal. “Kase, go and eat!” he urges the offspring having a few more secrets to share with Annie. “Come on, let’s go!” the impatient father encourages.

The 5 year old obeys and kisses Annie’s cheek, whispering:

“I’ll bwing you beck’fast auntie, ok?” and he rushes at Frost’s side screaming up a storm. “Byeeeee daaaaaddy!!!”

The programmers are so absorbed by the mystifying enigma they stumbled upon by accident they don’t pay attention to the little nugget’s promise: even if they would, Zariah and Mickel wouldn’t be able to untangle the convoluted riddle of Y/N’s true identity.

She wasn’t The Joker’s girlfriend nor Kase’s mother: Y/N was nothing less than The Clown’s younger sister.

The woman protected the only family she had like a hawk, thus she didn’t hesitate to give her life in exchange for her nephew’s.

Too bad she had no idea those jerks were mocking her when she ended up on that accursed roof.

Too bad her brother didn’t guess their intentions and extremely regrettable he was left alone without the only person he ever trusted.

Too bad she died granted J’s desperate efforts to keep her with him.

And so sad he didn’t know how much Y/N meant to him until she was gone.

“Isn’t it weird someone breached my android in the same time it was malfunctioning and closed her down?…” J stares outdoors on the terrace. “Why would anyone go through the trouble?... What’s the purpose?”

The familiar click of safety being taken off a gun awakens The Joker from apathy and he turns around: it’s not easy to surprise J but he’s stunned to notice the two experts he recruited pointing guns at him.

“What the fuck are you doing?!”

“Cashing in a huge payday, sir,” Zariah sneers. “It’s not often you become a legend for murdering…”

The Joker is not listening, his attention diverted by the strange phenomenon occurring behind the two hackers threatening his life: Annie is standing up from her chair and that’s clearly not possible; she is in power saving mode!

The android grabs Mickel’s arm and twists it to 90 degrees, using his own pistol to blow his brains out. Before Zariah can react he’s knocked to the ground with such violence J starts backing out, unsure on what to do when Annie steps on the man’s neck.

The sound of fractured bone plus the cyborg’s attention clearly directed towards him now makes him shout:

“Code 71345, emergency override!”

“Access denied!” the robot approaches still calibrating its joints and electronic synapses.

What the hell is wrong with this thing?!

“Code 71345, emergency override!”

”Access denied!”

J wants to make a run for it but he’s aware Annie is faster; why is she glitching like this?!

“Code 71…”

“Why are you trying to shut me down when I tried so hard to come back to you?” the cold voice halts the rest of his sentence.

The Joker takes a strenuous breath, dumbfounded at the shocking revelation:

“Y/N?... … Is… is… that you?!... …”

The android tilts its head to the left while an eerie smile flourishes on the plastic lips:

“Missed me?”

Also read: MASTERLIST

You can also follow me on Ao3 and Wattpad under the same blog name: DiYunho.

#the joker x reader #the joker fanfiction #the joker imagine #the joker jared leto #the joker suicide squad #the joker #joker #joker jared leto #joker suicide squad #dc #mister j #Mistah J #dcu #jokerleto

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chronicbatfictioner · 7 years

Text

Fast Car - Chapter 8

Thanksgiving came and went without Jason realizing it. It was kind of difficult to be thankful when one is living - squatting - in a place where one's mom died and one's life went to the ditch.

His first few jobs were easy. While it would be difficult for him to blend in at crowded places, he has no problem with going in to an open-air, multi-storied parking lots. The first few items were simple, too. Car logos, rear-view mirrors, even the side-mirror's holders, sometimes. Each item would earn him at least $20 - the higher-end the car is, the more money Dewald would pay him.

He had warned Dewald that he did not want to do this too often. Once a week would be his limit, because an increase of petty car accessories loss would have raised suspicions, and Gothamites are paranoid by nature. They could decide to upgrade their alarms or something like that.

Dewald's comments was, "Spoken like a true Gothamite there, son."

And Jason had swallowed a grimace. Painful realization hit him that he was his loser of a father's son, after all. Good for nothing but petty crimes. He no longer wondered if he'd be dead like his father, just when. After all, his dad was only 25 years old when he'd died. The only consolation Jason felt was that he had not impregnated anyone, and not likely ever will.

After a month, the loot 'grew up', from mirrors to hubcaps, to eventual stripping of the entire car. He would have to work with a few other guys to strip a car, and he has been training a lot and improved his speed considerably to the point where he and his two... contemporaries would be able to strip a car to its engines in under eight minutes.

"We could probably apply for a world's record or some shit." one of his contemporaries quipped. Jason just gave him a withering glare.

His first stripping was... almost fun. They had scoped a lawyer, who went to visit a hooker at East End, and stripped his Porsche gleefully. Jason barely felt the guilt - even nearly laughed out loud - when the morning news grimly reported of the 'prank' that had befallen said high-class lawyer "who was visiting a client." Oh yeah, Jason knew for a fact that he was visiting a hooker. Preferably blonde, most preferably underaged. The brownstone he was visiting was known around the block to be a brothel. Hopefully, the fact that he was robbed blind while molesting underaged girls would deter him from coming back there.

The next one was a pharmaceutical company's businessman with a penchant for drugs - the illegal kind. They had stripped the car with the guy still in it, high as a kite. And because Jason was not heartless, he'd called 911 and told them of a guy fallen asleep in a car and the car has been stripped around him. His contemporaries were amused. Dewald roared with laughter when they told him.

Annnd... because life of crime doesn't pay, before their third job, one of his contemporaries got arrested. Dewald was furious. So was Jason. Now they would have to train yet another person to take over the stripping job. In spite the fact that they could do it with just the two of them, it would take considerably longer.

Like, by five whole minutes.

Jason didn't want to risk it. He told Dewald that he'll figure out what can be nicked in that time, and suggested that they all take a break. "It's not like we're running a retail store." he said, completely hiding the fact that he was running low on cash.

He has been trying to apply to a hell of a lot of places that would accept a high school graduate. He'd even put his name at stores that would hold Black Friday sales, even. A moving company had called him twice, and he'd gone there. But the job consisted of a lot of heavy lifting, and a less-than-minimum wage of $7.50 an hour. His first job had earned him $52. The second one earned him $30. And a massive muscle aches for both jobs. Jason was partially glad that they hadn't needed him too often - just enough to convince people, like the grocery store clerk, that he has an actual job, but not enough to render his muscles to be in constant pain and soreness.

He was about to turn back home when he spotted the black sportscar parked in an alley behind the Park Row theatre - the worst part ever in Crime Alley to have parked a car. Let alone a luxurious Lamborghini like this one.

He looked around, noticing that there is no movement around him, before he approached the car. The car's windows were tinted, but not too darkly. He flashed his flashlight inward for a few seconds, noticing with relief that there was no one in it, conscious or otherwise. He surreptitiously walked around, scoping the car. He couldn't pick the mirrors - they would have nasty cables linked to the car's alarm and electronics. He could probably get the logo, bumper, and maybe hubcap.

He looked around again, noticing that there is still no movement around him, and crouched by the front tire. The hubcap seemed rather loose. A simple poke with his pick, and it came loose into his hand. Jason nearly yelped at it.

After setting the hubcap aside and shifting to the next tire, Jason suddenly noticed that the lug nuts of the tire were not covered.

He grinned to himself and started to work: propping the car's axles against a pile of bricks would prevent the car from tilting as the tire was loosened. It took him under two minutes to release the nuts, one to prop the bricks. It might not be much, but at the very least, it could be fenced off for spare tire of other Lamborghinis.

Jason straightened up just in time to see the man standing by the back of the car, effectively blocking his exit.

"Uh," yeah, he was never caught before. He truly didn't know what to say.

"You might want to put the tire back on, son, I might even look the other way for the hubcap. But the tire is a custom. It is a hassle to replace." The man, a black-haired, blue-eyed guy slightly bigger than Jason, said calmly.

"Hey, this is Crime Alley you know? It's your fault that you parked here!" Jason huffed.

The man looked solemn. "I know," he said. "My parents died here, twenty two years ago, today." he pointed to a spot a few yards behind the car. "I was paying my respect. Now please put the tire back on, I'll give you fifty bucks, since I don't think you're really stealing it for malice."

At the words 'my parents died here', Jason stilled, feeling like a heel. He knew the guy. All of Gotham knew the guy. He would be surprised if the entire Eastern Seaboard would be highly familiar with the guy.

Bruce Wayne, billionaire orphan, fun-loving playboy philanthropist whose parents were shot to death at Crime Alley when he was ten years old. The man who'd taken in an orphaned circus boy some ten years ago and made him his adopted son. The man who'd built numerous hospitals, clinics, and other public buildings for the use of the less-fortunate Gothamites. The man who'd made it a point that his company would produce generic medicines to be sold especially for Gotham's poor, under the strict supervision of Dr Leslie Thompkins, the only physician that Jason knew had been working around Crime Alley and the Narrows in her free clinic.

Gotham's own Knight in Shining Italian-made three-piece-suit-and-tie.

The guy that owns the company Tim is working for.

Jason sighed and started to put the tire back on. He couldn't steal from an angel like Bruce Wayne. Politicians, crooked lawyers, stupid profiteering businessmen, sure. But Bruce Wayne? His guilt would probably kill him within days.

He put the tire back on, and the hubcap, too, before sighing dejectedly. "I just... I'm sorry for your parents, Mr Wayne." he said. "Just... tell your mechanic guy to cap the lugs. Next time I see them uncovered, I'll hoist them tires right away because it'll just be due to your stupid."

Bruce Wayne gave him a small smile, and handed him a $50. "For the tip," he said, probably sensing Jason's hesitation. Jason took it - as much as he hated being a charity case, the guy could afford it, he figured. Also the guy needed to fire his mechanic. He watched as Wayne got in and the car purred to life, backing a few feet, before roaring out of the alley.

Much to Jason's surprise, it backed in to the alley within three seconds. Wayne opened his passenger-side window and Jason peeked in. "What?"

"What did you do to the tire?" he asked, puzzlement evident in his face. "I've brought this car to about six mechanics, one imported straight from the factory in Italy, and the front right tire had always wobbled. It's not wobbling now. What did you do?"

Jason blinked. "Uh... there was a bolt that didn't fit, so I removed it. Only by a few millimeters, though. You want it?" he showed the offending item on his palm.

"How did you know it didn't fit?"

"It's just... I just do." Jason shrugged. Wayne glared at him with the intensity that made Jason's skin itches.

"You good with cars?"

Jason lifted his shoulders slowly. "I've worked in garages before. My granddad used to let me practice with his buddies' cars. I made my... ex boyfriend's 15-year-old piece of junk stayed alive." he said.

"You know what? Come over to the Wayne Manor tomorrow, any time after noon. I have a few other cars I'd like you to look at." he handed him a business card. "What's your name?"

"Uh... Jason," he hesitated, wondering if he should give his last name or not. But then figured that Wayne would probably not remember it, anyway. "Jason Todd."

"Alright, Jason Todd. I'll leave your name with my butler." Wayne nodded. "And thanks!"

"Hope it's worth the $50," Jason smirked wryly.

"Buddy, I've spent more than that just because of a single bolt. I'd hand you more, but I don't have cash at hand right now. So come over tomorrow, yeah?"

"Alright."

Wayne sped off again. And Jason wondered just what the hell is it he'd just gotten himself into. Bruce Wayne may not be a mafioso or gangster, but he literally owns more than half of Gotham through various industries.

For the first time in a little... oh, who was he kidding. For the first time in a long while, Jason felt a little hope started to flicker in his heart.

And dear god he prayed that he would not screw this one up.

#Jason Todd #jaytim #batfam #bruce wayne #tim drake #red hood #batman #crime alley #gotham #no-capeAU #songfic #fastcarAU

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