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sophwrites00 · 3 years

Text

Saved - Hank Voight

Request : @mcgreads : Hey can I request a Hank Voight and reader where the reader is younger and apart of the unit and her and Voight are together as well as her being best friends with Casey and she's with Platt during that episode where she' on the T.V. interview and the bomb goes off and Voight is worried and giving out orders as not only his bestfriend is in there but also his girl and he communicates with Casey as well. Lots of fluff in the end please❤

Please forgive me if the lines aren't said by the correct people I have the transcript but it does not tell me who said what so I am going off memory!

Word Count - 1733

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You work as a secretary at the front desk of District 21, you had been working there for a few months when Trudy asked if you would go to an T.V interview with her, having not wanting to go alone and embarrass herself

Walking up the stair to intelligence you dropped their mail off to them and made your way into you boyfriends office closing the door behind you

Walking over to him you sat your self down in his lap and rested your head on his shoulder

"Trudy and I are going to leave soon" You informed him as he wrapped his arms around your waist and pressed a kiss to your forehead

"Be safe please" he said while resting his heat on top of yours

"I will I promise" You reply looking him in the eyes he leans down and you two share a kiss that was interrupted by a knock on the door

The door opened reveling Trudy

"Hey Voight is Y/N in here" She asked with out looking up from her file

"Yep right here" he replied as you sit up in his lap

"Oh good it's time to go, I'm driving" She said then turned and walked out

"Alright ill see you later when we get back" You say giving Hank one last kiss and taking his brown leather jacket with you before leaving

--------- At the interview ---------

You and Trudy had just gotten to the news station where the interview was being held, walking onto the interview set Trudy was taken to a seating area to starts the interview

"I'm so excited to be here today with Trudy Platt" the host says as Trudy sits with a smile, before Trudy could reply a beeping sound is heard through out the studio

"What is that" one person asks

--------- Before the explosion at 21 ---------

"Platts on in two. Everyone! Adam!" Kim yells

"Antonio, come on" Kim said

"We're not staying, I'm gonna do paper work at home" Antonio said looking up from his desk for a split second

"Hey, Eva. What's up, kid" Adam said as he walked out of the hallway

"My father's a fascist" she replied

"Okay, I don't know what to do with that" Adam says surprised

"Okay, everybody be quiet" Kim said "Platt's on TV.

"Betty's sitting down to discuss the new friendly face of the Chicago PD" the producer said

"What friendly face is that" Jay joked

"Betty" the producer said

"Thank you Shri, I'm so exited to be here today with Sergeant Trudy Platt, from the 21st District" Betty said

"She couldn't possibly hate this more" Adam joked

'It's my pleasure, I'm hap-I'm happy to be here." Trudy said with a big fake smile

"I wonder what Y/N's doing and if she's laughing as hard ass we are" Erin chimed in

"Is everything okay?" Trudy asked as they all heard a beeping

"I think that's coming from my office" Sheri said before an explosion went off

"What the hell happened" Kim said as they all grabbed their coats and things before making their way to the News Station with their boss who was pissed more than ever

--------- Back at the New station Y/N's POV ---------

"Sheri, Sheri hey stay with me" Trudy said

"All the exits are blocked we're stuck" I said coughing slightly

Trudy looked up scared then looked around the room

"Okay we are going to go into the back room and wait for help, and everything will be okay, because we are getting out of here" Trudy said while dragging Sheri's barely conscious body into the back dressing room

As Trudy and I made it into the dressing room I noticed a sink and check if the water was running, which it was, I grabbed 3 rags and soaked them in water then handed Trudy two of the

"Sheri, are you still with me? Sheri, come on girl stay with me, Stay with me Sheri" Trudy said while trying to get Sheri to keep her eyes open

I sat on the floor next to Trudy slightly panicking when heard people walking and yelling

"Fire department. Call Out" I looked to Trudy and started to yell

"Here, we're in here" I yelled as many time as i could before i started coughing again

The door swung open and revealing Mouch, Kelly, and Matt

"Okay lets get you ladies out of here" Kelly said while picking Sheri up while Mouch help Trudy and Casey helped me

"Are you okay are you hurt" He said going into protective friend mode.

"I'm okay" I said while coughing, matt picked me up bridal style and carried me out the building

"Hank" I said when I seen my boyfriend who looked more pissed than ever, once he heard me he rushed to Casey who was helping me stand

"OH thank god" Hank said relived to see me

"You're going to med" Hank said with Matt agreeing

"We don't need any more surprises today" Matt said

"Hank you take her, ill try and meet you both later I got to go" Matt said to his two closest friends as he turned to go back into the building with his squad

--------- Third person POV ---------

Hank rode in the back of the ambulance with Y/N to the hospital, holding her hand the whole time

At the hospital Y/N was put into a trauma room and checked over thoroughly as she was close to the blast

"Okay you seem to have no major injury's, I am going to do some blood work, and put you on some oxygen for a few hours to get your levels back to normal, but other than that you seem fine and should be able to go home by tonight" Dr. Halstead said

"Thank you" Y/N replied before Will left

"You should go back to work, ill be okay" Y/N said to hank as she laid her head back onto the pillow and looked up at Hank

"No I should be here with you" He protested shaking his head

"I'll be okay I will call you if I need anything you should be out there helping your team" Y/N said

"Fine but i will be back to check up on you soon" Hank said

"Okay" Y/N said with a small smile, Hank pressed his lips to hers and left, soon after Will came back into the room

"Okay your blood work is back" Will stated "You both look good, try and keep it easy for the next few days, no heavy lifting for at least a week" He said

"Wait both" Y/N said

"Oh, you didn't know. Congratulations, Y/N your pregnant" He said with a smile "I'll have Nat come in for an ultrasound to see how far along you are" he stated before being called out for another trauma

Matt walked into the room still in his turnouts

"Hey peach, how are ya?" He asked with a smile

"I'm okay" Y/N said with a small smile

"I have a request though" Y/N said with a big smile looking at him

"what?" He said looking at me suspiciously

"Chick-Fil- A" Y/N said with puppy dog eyes

"Your lucky I like you, ill see what I can do" He said before kissing my head and leaving

Nat came in a little while after and we did the ultra sound and Y/n is 5 weeks pregnant, soon after Nat left both Hank and Matt walked in

"Hey baby" Hank said as he kissed my head

"I came with your food but I cant stay long" Matt said holding up the fast food bag

"Yay thank you" Y/N said happily, they all sat for a while and talk, later on Matt left and not long after Y/N was discharged she and Hank made their way home

Y/N sat on the couch and put her feet in Hanks lap letting him rub her feet

"Hey, We need to talk" Y/N said moving her feet from Hanks lap and moving closer to sit next to him

"What wrong, Hun" Hank asked worriedly

--------- Y/N's POV ---------

"So I got some news after you left the hospital earlier" I stated looking at Hank " and it's good news depending on how you take it and if you don't take it good then I don't know what I'm going to do be-" I said rambling only being cut off by Hank

"Hey, hey, hey take a breath and try to calm down alright" Hank said while pulling me into his lap, taking a few deep breaths I was able to calm down

"I'm pregnant" I said looking into his eye's

"A-Are you sure" He asked looking at me with hope, I nodded and he pulled me close to his body

We stayed like that for a while and I could feel my self falling asleep in the warmth of Hanks arms

I felt Hank lift me and carry me to our bedroom he laid me down and got in bed next to me, that night Hank's arms felt tighter around my waist and I could feel his hand resting against my still flat stomach

The next morning Matt had come over for brunch and we told him he was over the moon to become an uncle just as Hank and I are over the moon to become parents

--------- Authors Note --------- Aaahhh I finally finished this story and I am proud because I have worked so hard on this request over the past week! If you find any typo's please let me know I did my best to fix them as I went!!

Thank you for reading have a god day/ night love ya byeeeeee

#hank voight imagines #hank voight x reader #hank voight #matt casey #chicago med #One Chicago #Chicago Fire

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warwickroyals · 2 years

Text

CHAPTER II: AUTHENTIC SELF

Beginning | Previous | Next

Transcript under the cut - Click for HQ photos

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Phyllis has always been a character that I wish we could see more off, so I'm glad to have her back in the story. Anyway, I enjoyed this part, I love how as it progresses it gets darker both in the atmosphere and in tone, going from familial banter to more heavy topics.

PS - Getting that underwater shot was a pain. Would not recommend it.

All likes, comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated! Thank you for the support 💖

[???] Phillip, if you haven't drowned yet, I'd like to have a word, please

[???] If you're trying to drown yourself, I'd prefer if you didn't do it in my pool

[PHILLIP] Me drowning in your pool would land you on the front pages for the first time since the eighties

[???] You look like hell, Woodbine

[PHILLIP] And you look aggressively tropical. Now, what do you want? I was brooding

[PHYLLIS] I've been meaning to ask you . . . What exactly do you do all day?

[PHILLIP] One could ask you the exact same question, aunty

[PHYLLIS] I'm retired, you insolent child

[PHILLIP] That implies you had a job at some point

[PHYLLIS] You are as ill-mannered as you are ungrateful. Now towel off, we must talk

[PHYLLIS] I think you misunderstood me when I said you could stay here for as long as you wanted. I originally had the expectation that you would contribute

[PHILLIP] I hope this isn't your way of telling me you want me to start paying rent

[PHYLLIS] Contributing towards yourself. Focusing on your wellbeing, not drinking yourself into an early grave, although I'm probably being generous in assuming that alcohol is the worst of your troubles

[PHILLIP] My wellbeing? What do you suggest, that I take up yoga?

[PHYLLIS] Scoff all you want but there are rules here, darling. After we left royal life, your uncle and I agreed that we were done pretending. Under this roof, everyone must strive to be their authentic self. You can't tell me that this . . . emotional wreckage of a man is your authentic self

[PHILLIP] Listen, Aunt Phil, I don't want you to feel as if I'm unappreciative, but I've been dealing with people telling me exactly what you just said for my entire life. I'm through with introspection, it makes me depressed. I already know my authentic self well enough to understand that things will always be like this with me. I can leave if that makes you uncomfortable

[PHYLLIS] I don't want you to move out and I know you don't want to, either. When was the last time you've even seen your boys? You still have access to them, but they're becoming young men. Things change, they might end up resenting you as you resent your own father. You've abandoned your mother and your siblings are undoubtedly phasing you out of conversations. I'm all the family you've got

[PHILLIP] Some family

[PHYLLIS] Some family, indeed. But I don't believe you're a lost cause. I believe in a hundred chances; I want you to get sober. I want you to try

[PHYLLIS] There's a mental health clinic, just off Sol Valley Parkway, impossible to miss. Your first assessment is tomorrow morning. Don't disappoint me, Phillip, I want you to give yourself that a hundredth chance

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felikatze · 3 years

Note

Just wanted to say thank you so much for all the brainworms you have been giving me and my friends for the past few hours about Ayin and all the analyses you've been doing about him.

I have been losing my mind in the middle of the night thinking about all the things you've said, turning it over like crazy and trying to compare it with the gameplay I've had of Lobotomy Corporation and Library of Ruina.

Please do more analysis and share more of your ideas! Please? Please, with cherry on top? Please, I beg of you?

Especially if you have in-depth ideas of analyses for the Sephirah and how it relates to both their own characters and Ayin and Angela.

I thank you greatly in advance!

the implication that i've infected an entire friend group with my brainworms is power that will 100% go to my head i feel amazing. what else is analysis posting except trying to inflict people with the same thoughts bouncing around your skull on repeat

i DO have shit on the sephirah but mostly netzach, because i love netzach, and i in fact found my discord ramble about him (and chesed)

i dont have things on how they relate to A and Angela specifically because I mainly kept thinking abt Reverbaration Ensemble parallels... i have so many thoughs abt Netzach and Bremen.

(but if you want me to talk about, say, a specific core supression, or floor realization... i have a lot of thoughts on floor realizations.)

First off I am so sorry that you seem to think I'm smart because that means i have the perfect opportunity to inflict you with this

okay now we can get to the serious stuff

[transcript:

containment breach:

quick ramble abt lor again but i love the ensemble receptions so much. i'm at chesed's rn, and i know he's been chill the entire game, but him just refusing to comment on jae-hoon's tragedy seems, out of context, a dick move, but also is so important for chesed to do? he recognizes that another's suffering is not related to him, that he can't do anything about it, and that this is fine. The closest i'd describe chesed in lobcorp would be "activist burnout." Due to betraying the lab from garion's pressure, chesed was so consumed by guilt, he just blamed himself for everything and became more callous because it's already his fault, right? There's nothing he can do. But in lor, he knows what his responsibilities are, and allows himself joy where he can find it. I love the ensemble receptions bcuz they are just examplary of each patron libriarian's growth and i iqbfjc (sobs)

GOD this sure is a paragraph

also have to salute netzach for carrying his scene all by himself as the musicians of bremen just (animal noises) :pray:

ykno being online i realize that i'm not quiet at all i am a complete and utter chatterbox /end]

[transcript:

containment breach:

thinking abt netzach's scene where he doesn't talk to bremen, because he can't, but recognizes this who has not only lost themself in their own art but also their own suffering

i just i love netzach so much his entire character arc is abt learning to live with depression and learning to want to live again

so he becomes unable to understand, really, why someone would sacrifice themselves for their own art

when he started out just, similar yet different from bremen, completely submerged in his own misery

musicians of bremen reminds me i still have bremen bon bons at home i should eat those. they r tasty /end]

i wanna specifically dig into this scene more because i love that scene, a lot.

Art as we get to know it in the City is irrevocably tied to violence. Puppets are made of human bodies, music is played on bones and sinews. To the artists of the City, to create art is to make someone suffer. Rewatching Netzach's story bits, Roland describes it as doing nothing but seeking stimulation and being provocative.

Furthermore, there is a direct comparison between art and alcohol. To paraphrase more, the Pianist must've been one hell of a stimulant, like getting hit by a strong booze. A performance some are still hungover from.

Netzach's main struggle was addiction because of depression, and his growing appreciation for art is a continuation of that arc. He says himself that art and alcohol are linked.

However, alcohol is a step down from hard drugs. Netzach hasn't quit, but just that step down shows he learned moderation, which makes me very proud of him.

Moderation is what the other.. let's just call them artists, lack. I said in the screencaps above, initially, Netzach was lost in his own suffering, and the musicians of bremen are lost in their art. And if art is seen as equal to suffering, that just means Netzach and Bremen are more similar than expected. (Especially considering what we see of the musicians previously; they’re always trying to chase the same high they experienced listening to the Pianist by any means necessary. The addiction parallels are not suprising.)

I rewatched most of Netzach's lor scenes, and what rlly gets me is that in his first one, he seems almost the exact same as in lobcorp. He doesn't want to work, he got dragged into this against his will, he feels as if his accomplishments are futile.

But! He eventually invites Roland for drinks. He's not drinking to forget alone anymore, he's doing it as social activity. Furthermore, the more time he spends as Patron Librarian of Arts, the more he grows to appreciate art. Art is tied to suffering, still, but it is an expression of suffering. It does not produce any. Or should not, in any case. He sure wishes it wouldn’t.

So we arrive at his Ensemble Reception. This one makes a rather interesting comparison: art as the pursuit of the light. Let me elaborate.

To quote, “Honestly, I wanna tell people to stop doing the kind of art that requires ‘em to immolate themselves and others. Although, on the other hand... I can kinda see where they’re coming from. Art narrows your vision, after all.

You stop caring about the things around you. That’s how most artists seem to act, I think. And so, you indulge in the craft, not realizing that you’re throwing yourself and your surroundings into the fire you started.”

I pose this: Netzach speaks of his experience as Giovanni. Giovanni was a researcher who, when push came to shove, willingly sacrificed himself to advance the project, in hopes of seeing the light, seeing Carmen, again.

Though he dislikes Bremen’s actions, he does not judge them for it, because he recognized that it would be hypocritical. Even so, what shows that he’s grown is that he.. doesn’t want to see people harm themselves anymore. The focus here isn’t if Bremen hurt other people, which they have, but how much of themselves they’ve given up for their performance. He condemns the act, and not the people.

“If I can see that light once more... If I have to muster up the courage to reach it, I’ll gladly do it. It’s easier said than done, though; you need a lot of fearlessness for it.

And I guess you saw the same kind of light I was so desperate to see, yeah? Even if yours was a twisted creature... [...] Though, I don’t think I can tell you off like the others. At least I can see the reason behind it.”

He even explicitly mentions the light. The funny thing is, both Giovanni and Bremen tried to reach the Seed of Light, and Carmen. It’s tragically hilarious that we know Carmen is the voice the Distortions hear.

Hell, the more I think about it, the more you can just compare the Ensemble as a whole to the Outskirts Lab crew, down to Angelica’s puppet body and Carmen’s desecrated corpse.

“And I know pretty well that we have no right to devilishly pick apart each other’s way of art. I’m not very proud of mine, really...”

Netzach just.. gets it. I can’t remember atm, but I don’t think the other Patron Librarians really draw parallels like that. I’m seeing all the parallels now and I can’t unsee them ever. Bro.

His “art,” his way of protecting the light, is still violent. But he sees that perhaps it didn’t have to be, or rather shouldn’t be. I fucking love Netzach so much. His arc just means a lot to me personally, and I’d wager a lot of people who’ve struggled with mental illness would agree.

I’m not gonna get into Netzach’s floor realization here because this post is already long enough, but like, look at the specific flashback of Angela shown in Netzach’s story bits and contrast it to his arc of learning to want to live, and. Yeah.

#Feli gets asked #lobotomy corporation #library of ruina #netzach #NETZACH MY MAN NETZACH.#long post #this took a while to make cuz i got distracted many times by playing video games #also i'm not sorry for the first bit. know it in your heart. i'm right.

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child-of-hurin · 3 years

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So I’m thinking of a Narn AU where Húrin isn’t set on Thangorodrim and remains a prisoner in the fortress. His children are still cursed and he is still regularly shown images of them but it doesn’t take up all his time as it does in canon. I bring this up because I was curious what you think about how much of the bad things that befall Túrin and Niënor were explicitly planned before. Because I’ve always thought that the compelled incest part was at least in some way planned before and was very specifically about Húrin watching the ruining of his bloodline (which goes back to my other cursed HCs) in addition to the suffering it would bring his children.

Anyways no pressure to answer or anything I was just curious if this was something you had thought about

-@outofangband

(Disclaimer: I haven’t read much of the HoME besides what pertains the Narn, meaning I haven’t read any extended material on Melkor and so on.)

Honestly this is a very interesting question that I have posed myself before. It brings to mind this passage:

[Transcript:

Report of the Dragon-helm in the land west of Sirion came swiftly to the ear of Morgoth, and he laughed, for now (1) Túrin was revealed to him again, who had long been lost in the shadows and under the veils of Melian. (2) Yet he began to fear that Túrin would grow to such a power that the curse that he had laid upon him would become void, and he would escape the doom that had been designed for him, or else that he might retreat to Doriath and be lost to his sight again. (3) Now therefore he had a mind to seize Túrin and afflict him even as his father, to torment him and enslave him.]

My conclusions here are:

(1) Melkor’s ‘eye’, which Húrin had been forced to access as well, couldn’t penetrate Doriath under Melian’s power. Makes me think the whole time Túrin was growing up, Melkor had Húrin watch Morwen and Nienor’s growing misery in Dor-Lómin instead?

(2) Everyone has talked about this a hundred times because it is so incredible. So the doom was defeatable? So, cosmically speaking, there was some validation in Túrin’s methods of seeking war and power? Much to think about

(3) This bit is the only passage I can recall where instead of vague threats, the text gives us a concrete plan of Melkor’s for this family. When he sets Glaurung forth, we have absolutely no idea whether his actions were meticulously planned by Melkor, a mastermind, or just strokes of Glaurung’s own evil creative genius as derivated from Melkor’s will or whatever.

So. My opinion is that it isn’t a plan. First and foremost because I hate the anime villain type who was secretly controlling all the variables of the game, but also because I genuinely don’t get this aesthetic from Melkor/Tolkien. Melkor’s power is godlike; it doesn’t come from logic control over the material world, but from a more intimate relationship with what makes the material world itself.

Thinking of two events: one, when Melkor releases Húrin. Melkor has changed and posioned Húrin’s spirit, but Húrin isn’t aware of that. Húrin still hates Melkor, but, as we see in the Wanderings, he is still an agent of Melkor (to use a term @promin-blog used in [that interesting meta post you reblogged recently]). Compare that to Niënor, to whom something very similar happens: Glaurung poisons her spirit and then sets her free.

In my understanding, in neither of those two situations did Melkor or Glaurung know exactly what was going to be the outcome; they just knew it was going to be bad for their captives, and thus, good for them. Melkor is a being of chaos against the benign order of the world, so he fundamentally gains from an increase in the chaos, or a corruption in the order of the world. So when he explains the curse to Húrin, he says:

‘You say it,’ said Morgoth. ‘I am the Elder King: Melkor, first and mightiest of all the Valar, who was before the world, and made it. The shadow of my purpose lies upon Arda, and all that is in it bends slowly and surely to my will. But upon all whom you love my thought shall weigh as a cloud of Doom, and it shall bring them down into darkness and despair. Wherever they go, evil shall arise. Whenever they speak, their words shall bring ill counsel. Whatsoever they do shall turn against them. They shall die without hope, cursing both life and death.’

I take that at face value in terms of, this is literally how it works. He didn’t know exactly that Húrin would kill Mîm, bring the Nauglamír to Thingol, then fight with his once-beloved Haladin kin and cause their destruction, just like I don’t think Glaurung knew Niënor would find Túrin, fall in love with him and have his child. BUT they knew releasing these poisoned agents would benefit their cause one way or another. (I do think Melkor presumed correctly that Húrin might try to find Gondolin though! Hence the spies). So I guess I don’t agree with you that the incest was pre-planned, although I do think the ruining of Húrin’s bloodline was definitely a huge point that, in Melkor’s mind, was probably inevitable. If Túrin had, say, had a baby with Finduilas, Melkor would have gotten a hold of that baby too, at some point... I think when he says he is the master of the Fates of Arda, he means that his will has too powerful a hold over Arda to be broken, and not, necessarily, that he controls every detail of it.

That makes me think of that passage you mentioned recently in your blog:

“But ever the Noldor feared most the treachery of their own kin who had been thralls in Angband; for Morgoth used some of them for his evil purposes, and feigning to give them liberty sent them abroad; but their wills were chained to his and they strayed only to come back to him again” (”Of the Ruin of Beleriand”, p188, The Silmarillion)

It makes me wonder how many of these elves were, like Maeglin, aware of their own collaboration, and how many might have hated Melkor their whole lives while still being agents of his will 😬

It’s a super depressing thing, this possiblity that the Narn puts forth, of an otherwise free person being permanently and inescapably ruined for as long as you hold your material existance in this realm. It is the ultimate corruption of free will, because it means no matter which choices you make, they will always come to evil. You’re helpless: intent doesn’t matter, hard work doesn’t matter. I think it’s fitting with Melkor being a god, after all! That’s why it’s relevant that out of the five members of this family, only one is directly murdered by Melkor’s actions. The others take their own lives, although more indirectly in the case of Morwen - the only one who “was not conquered”. The rest of them, Túrin, Nienor, and Húrin, end up choosing death as an escape, and I think it is in a way because they ultimately understand that Melkor is playing on a godlike level that they, as mortals, cannot reach.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO ANOTHER DEPRESSING THING. We, as readers, have the benefit of knowing that Mandos exists and Eru exists and the Ainulindale happened. We have also read about Beren’s spirit lingering in Mandos waiting for Lúthien. So we ASSUME there is an afterlife for the second-born. We know Tolkien envisioned that, spiritual man that he was. But in the narrative, mortals themselves don’t have any reassurance of that!

So this exchange here becomes even more chilling:

So?

Did he lie?

#so did he lie? this is what used to keep me awake at night fam #did he lie?#melkor #the children of húrin #húrin #silmarillion #outofangband #btw menel we stan #i love the dantesque/medievalesque/aristotelesque touches of worldbuilding whenever Tolkien gives us them...#cw suicide discussion #a fairytale about slavery

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twenty-one-froggy-pilots · 3 years

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Yeah I'm honestly a bit surprised by how passionate and vocal people are about hating twenty one pilots? It's kinda upsetting that when I try to interact with content about them I'm always a bit worried in the back of my mind because I'm a pretty sensitive person and it's hard not to let stuff get to me.

I don’t know why it’s always felt like twenty one pilots has gotten a ton of hate for no reason? I’ve been into them since 2013-2014 so pure unadulterated vessel era, I’m a very old fan of them and their music, like one of the oldest picture in my phone is this

(This picture isn’t important I just love it, plus something fun to look at with a not so fun subject material)

(Long history as a fan rant incoming lol)

I’ve been an emo kid for a really long time, back when all of the emo bands were big, when seeing another kid wearing a panic! shirt always meant you talked to them in the mall, I still remember when I would wear the one twenty one pilots shirt I could afford outside, that anyone who knew who they were would come up and start a conversation with me

And it’s like through the years the hate has changed to be... somehow worse

Back in the early days tøp used to get called not a true emo band because they didn’t have anyone playing the guitar so everyone hated them because they weren’t emo Enough

Plus there was the whole ‘emo trinity’ ‘emo quartet’ infighting nonsense but that’s so long past idk if anyone even remembers it lol

Then blurryface rolls around and fans are being made fun of for dressing funky and going through that one fandom phase where everyone was calling the boys smol beans it was great and cute, we were all really close, we called each other frens, told each other to stay street it was great! So what people made fun of us or whatever we were absolutely vibing

Twenty one pilots felt like the coolest secret gang of fans, we were absolutely huge, more so than most people would think, and man it was awesome!! If you saw a tøp fan you knew that you were cool with that person and that person would be cool with you!! It was amazing!! Sometimes I do miss this vibe!!

But then Stressed Out ended up on the radio...

I feel like it really all changed here, all of the sudden the old fandom things were cringy, the boys were sell outs, and every family member you knew was suddenly the biggest fan despite only knowing stressed out

I remember being upset around this time because of strangers invading my space, this was my group, filled with people who understood what the lyrics meant and knew and understood how much they meant to all of us, and suddenly it was filled with people who didn’t belong

I didn’t blame the pilot boys, obviously they can’t control what’s on the radio, I’m fact, there’s plenty of pilot songs that mention never being played on the radio because of one reason or another, so my problem was never with the boys, it was with the influx of new people, and by new people I don’t mean new fans, I mean news outlets and tv show host, and with that influx came the people who didn’t get it, you know? That were rude and outright nasty and refused to understand anything about the genre and effort put into the story and why it mattered to us

(Tw for suicide mention, and uncomfortable themes involving people making fun of themes involving it, tw for mentions of school shootings)

All of the sudden we were the fans of Tyler Joseph the man who ‘Glorifies Suicide’ and actively is supposedly encouraging that behavior

We were the cringy fans everyone knew in high school and hated who were described as being ‘JuSt So QuIrkY 🤪’, instead of the mentally ill kids we all were, by people who hated us

We were the fans of those ‘white boys who look like school shooters’ (this one honestly rocked me to my core, it still hurts to even see??? Like idk why but it almost makes me want to cry)

At the same time a lot of the old fans were turning their back on the pilots, they didn’t want to be involved anymore, they hated ALL of the new fans whether they were respectful or not

It was a REALLY hard time to be a new fan, very few people were open to having them involved in anything, I think this is when a lot of hatred happened in the fandom not only fan-fan fighting/hatred but also fan-band sentiments weren’t great either

The more songs that ended up on the radio the more the hatred grew, in fact this got so bad Tyler did this

youtube

Here’s a transcript in case it’s hard to hear

Like... this was the state of our fan group.... it was suddenly cool to hate all the songs that ended up on the radio so much it affected every part of our music journey

There was a lot of infighting, it was an awful time to be a fan, new or old

Then came silence era, in which every tøp blog I followed except like 2, became kpop blogs and I’m not sure any of them ever came back lol, I actually really disliked kpop because of this for a bit in like a jokey kind of way in my own head lol (ahh how the turn tables have turned... kpop and tøp are the only things I listen to now haha, actually because of all my tøp mutuals becoming kpop blogs I vowed to myself to not change this blog to another group so I have two music blogs now, which makes me laugh but also shows how important music is to me so it makes me happy anyways you know?)

It was kind of a sad way to have the fandom disappear, everything was strangled, the boys were gone, and no one kept up with the fandom, it felt really lonely

When Trench era clues started back people started coming back, the mood was different, we had something to do and it was fun to work on something with others, we had the Clancy letters, and all the clues, and the tower of silence and the vultures!! It was great! It started to feel like we had rebuilt something from the rubble of what we had been

The fandom started calling Tyler stinky and he called us b*stards it was great, sometimes people were a bit meaner than I think they thought they were being, but it worked you know?

When the album released we had more people come back and things slowly started fitting back ok again, more songs ended up on the radio and a lot of older fans said the same things they’re saying now, but it wasn’t that bad, it was mostly very positive

And then we got to the over the summer drama, which........... is a sensitive subject, but I legitimately do not understand how it was Tyler’s fault that people assumed he was talking about something when he wasn’t talking about it at all... especially when people have been begging him for years to talk more about mental health, he wanted to introduce whatever he was going to do with a joke, I personally never though he was talking about the big issue at the time of the incident, but it blew up like wildfire and the next thing you know he’s canceled because Other People Assumed Something

So now it’s ‘Morally Justifiable’ to hate Tyler because he’s r*cist or something, despite it never being his intention and because people assumed something

It’s literally not even with good reason that people are doing this, but because it blew up when it did and about what it did, no one knows what really happened and people just wanted a morally justified reason to hate them because you can’t just dislike something anymore without it being justifiable I guess? I feel like with all of the years I’ve spent on the internet everything has only become more hateful...

All this to say.... yes, it hurts when people hate the things that you do, I get really sensitive about it as well, especially with how long and how many arguments I’ve seen, and I am extremely sensitive to discourse and hatred, it’s why I don’t engage with much of it online, in fact I was about to delete the post complaining about everyone hating on them before I saw it was really resonating with you guys

I guess my best advice to you anon, would to try to understand where it’s coming from, that’s what’s helped me, I know a lot of people dislike the pilots because of the fact that they became ‘mainstream’ during blurryface era, and people are really upset by that, so understanding that, even when it hurts, I can acknowledge that they feel that way and that it’s ok that I feel differently

It’s easy to take that point and test it against your own morals, ‘do I think twenty one pilots became mainstream, or only makes songs to get on the radio?’ If your answer is no, then you can both say ‘I don’t agree with them but they’re allowed to have their own opinion’ and kind of give yourself a wall and barrier against what they say

I know this isn’t perfect advice, but it’s helped me a lot

I know there are two big arguments against this album, that it’s mainstream and made to have radio singles (the underlying argument here I guess being Tyler and Josh are money hungry and no longer care about the music)

And that it’s no longer lyrically meaningful, but I think this has to do a lot with how involved people are in the Dema lore, if you’re not a fan of lore I would imagine this album being propaganda and supposed to be fake and bright to prove a point would really bug you if you didn’t really get it

To best thing to do is digest an argument (only if you can handle it emotionally of course 🖤) and know it’s ok that think differently than other people, and that the chances of someone being mad at you are very slim

A lot of things I’ve enjoyed have been stolen by the fear of getting hated on for something - while in actuality, the very few times I’ve gotten real hate over something barely affected me

I admit the fear of getting hate bothers me a lot more than actually getting it, but I just want to encourage you to stay strong in the face of it, it will pass, as it all does, but if nothing else in this post resonates with you, PLEASE HOLD ONTO YOUR JOY FOR AS LONG AS YOU CAN! And don’t let ANYONE take it from YOU!!

If twenty one pilots makes you happy, just remember that the only person who can take that true joy away from you is yourself, remove the people who make you feel sad out of your life, I apologize if this is a physical person in your life as this makes it a lot harder, and sometimes impossible depending on the situation, but on the internet unfollow anyone, block anyone, don’t engage and leave them alone, it’s not with your energy or effort, and they’ll never change their minds but they can change yours you know?

Being sensitive in a time when everything is hateful is hard, especially when everyone tells you you’re a bad person if you aren’t engaged, but you really don’t have to be, you get to choose your own destiny you know? Don’t let other people choose it for you

#I’m am so sorry this post is so long and I still don’t know how to put readmores on mobile anymore #ajsjjams #I get told I ramble on about to much and that my stories are never concise and take forever to get to the point which might be true.........#I’m sorry #I kinda just rambled on forever but I feel like I finally aired out all my laundry I’ve kept to myself forever haha #it did have a point though! just trying to say like it’s always been a bit difficult but for the things that we love it can be #I’ve had a much better experience this era with the people I follow which has helped a lot #but to get to new content I’m digging in the tags which is where I’m #seeing all the hate so there’s kind of no avoiding it but I understood that going in you know?#anyways I think I’ve rambled on long enough! I hope this helped you out in same way?!?!#I’m not sure any of this is really helpful lol wjsks but one can hope haha #nic writes #tw suicide #tw suicide mention #tw school shooting #tw school shooting mention #tw racism mention

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 4 years

Text

From Eden: Two

Warnings: noncon sexual acts, mentions of mental illness; tags to be added throughout series

This is dark!Bucky. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: The mc suffers from agoraphobia. After a new neighbour moves in across the street, her home becomes even more of a prison.

Note: Yo, so here’s part 2! I hope you all enjoy. As before, there is a transcript at the end for anyone having issues with the images.

Thank you so much for your patience! And support!!

As always, if you are so inclined, please like, reblog, and comment. <3

Transcript:

Sunday

I called Dr. Tisha this morning. I told her about the neighbour. She said it was nice of him to help with the garden but ignored me when I mentioned the broken gate. I don’t know if she believed me. It didn’t seem like it.

She’s coming by tomorrow to check on my progress. That means I can’t keep those magazines on the dining table anymore. The last time she made me throw half of them out. She didn’t listen when I told her some were so old they were priceless. Sometimes it feels like she doesn’t listen to me at all. Well, what do I pay her to do then?

I haven’t been back outside. I should water the garden as it’s only getting hotter but I don’t appreciate the unwanted audience. An intruder!

Later

I still haven’t found the courage to venture out. I made sure the bike lock was still in place from the front door. It is. Though, if that man’s metal hand could break the old lock, it will likely shred the chain lock.

Thinking about it makes my heart race. I should go lay down. I’m dizzy and the humidity is making me sick to my stomach. Or maybe it’s something else.

Monday

Dr. Tisha came by early today.

I showed Dr. Tisha where I kept my medicine in the bathroom cabinet, the pills divided into the days. I check off each day on the calendar so I don’t forget either. She said that was good. The last time she was here, it was because I’d stopped taking the pills so I hope this made her happy.

Then she walked through the house, she said she was happy to see the top of the table this time. I laughed but it wasn’t really funny. Then she went to the kitchen and checked all the drawers.

She found some books hidden under the sink and asked if I’d ever read them. I mean to but haven’t yet. She took them to the guest room where she found the bins of books stacked in the corner. Better than last time when they were a pile on the carpet.

She said I have too many things. Too many things that aren’t mine. She says it’s okay to be sad about grandma but that holding onto all her stuff won’t bring her back. Like I don’t know that! I do know! But she left me these things so yes, they are mine.

Then we went to grandma’s old room. It’s the same as it was. As it’s always been. Dr. Tisha frowned and went to my room next.

She asked me about the broken bed frame. I told her it was nothing. I made sure to replace the duvet I’d dragged out the couch to sleep without threat of rolling onto the floor in my sleep. Not that I sleep very much.

She opened my closet and found the magazines. That didn’t impress her either.

We had tea in the kitchen and talked. She asked me how I was feeling. About side effects and all that. Besides the occasional bout of nausea and vivid dreams, I’m fine. She agrees.

Then she asked about the tall shelf of vinyls in the living room. Which one is my favourite? I told her the old Vera Lynn record reminded me of grandma and it was still on the needle.

Then we argued. She wants me to get rid of the ones I don’t listen to. And the magazines in my closet! And she wants me to go through all the books, too.

She also suggested that I think about redecorating. I told her I didn’t want to do any of that. I like the house the way it is. Who is it hurting if I have a few extra books laying around?

She calmed me down after I raised my voice. She made me count my breaths and explained that I don’t have to get rid of everything, just a little. She says it would help with my progress. And, she said, I could probably make a healthy profit off a yard sale.

Well, I don’t care about the money, I don’t want to have a sale. I don’t want to deal with people and them thumbing through grandma’s thing for pennies.

Dr. Tisha said she’ll make some signs and we’ll have the sale on Saturday. My task for the week is to decide what to sell and prices. We argued again but not very long.

When she left, I started crying. Everywhere I look, I see grandma and this place is empty enough without her.

Tuesday

Lorena showed up today.

I gave her my list, it wasn’t very long. She asked about the bike lock and I asked if she could stop by the hardware store and get a new mechanism. She asked me if I even knew how to fix it. I said I’d figure it out.

I told her about Dr. Tisha’s idea for the yard sale. She said it was a great idea. I still don’t agree but she offered to help me sort through the guest room. I shrugged and asked her how long she’d be at the store. She said the usual and left.

I waited by the door. I watched the front gate for her return. She had the combination to the bike lock now and could let herself in. I just wanted her to come back and drop everything off so I could be alone.

When she did return, she wasn’t alone. I saw her at the gate, fumbling with the lock. As the gate shifted open, a metal arm reached past her to push it all the way. The man held a paper bag in his other arm as Lorena carried the other.

He was smiling as he spoke to her and let her pass. He followed her to the door and he saw me before I could back away from the slated window in the door.

“Open up,” Lorena called as she tapped the door.

I didn’t know what else to do but open the door. When I did she handed me her bag and reached for the one the man held.

“Sorry, but… I can’t let you inside.” She said glumly. “But thanks for the help.”

“No problem.” He glanced past her and I tried to hide behind her but he’s taller than her. He’s very big up close. “You have a great day. Both of you.”

“You, too.” Lorena said and he strode away.

When the gate clattered closed I waited until I was sure he was gone. I dropped my bag and rushed to check the lock. He’d secured it. Good.

I went back to the house and locked the door too. Lorena already had both bags on the table.

“He didn’t mean any harm,” She said as she unpacked the groceries. “He was just helping me so I figured--”

“You shouldn’t have let him in.” I told her.

“He was only in the yard. He didn’t come into the house.”

“I could have helped you.” I said.

“When’s the last time you went past the gate?” She asked as she pulled out a small plastic bag and slid it across to me. It was the new lock. “That should fit, if you can figure it out.”

“That’s not the point, Lor,” You slapped the table. “You let him into my space. A stranger!”

“He’s your neighbour. I’ve talked to Dr. Tisha and you know you’re supposed to be working on your socialising. This yard sale will be a good first step.”

“This yard sale is bull shit,” I was so angry I could have yelled. “I like being alone. I like it here. This is my home and these are my things!”

“Calm down.” She set down the carton of milk and neared me. “Look, I’m sorry. You’re right. I should’ve asked before I let him past the gate.”

I felt so tired. Suddenly weak, like the air had been let out of me. I felt bad for being so mad with her after she went all the way to town for me.

“I’m sorry I got upset.”

She forgave me and I forgave her. She convinced me to fill one bin for the sale before the end of the day. She left shortly after. Her and Shelby are going to see a movie. I’m watching one too. An old black and white movie Grandma had on her shelf of cassettes. It’s interesting but the edges are fuzzy and the audio is muffled.

Oh, well, I’m tired. And I’ll be sleeping on the couch anyway.

Wednesday

I tried to fix the lock today. I haven’t been outside that long since last week. The garden needs to be watered.

I took out grandma’s old toolbox, the tools half-rusted but intact. I got what was left of the old lock off easily but the new one was more of a task to get in. I had to open the gate to get it in. The holes for the screw were off-kilter but I couldn’t turn the lock enough to get them to line up.

Then he showed up. That man. Bucky. The lock slipped out as he scared me and my screw driver hit my shoe. My toe still hurts.

“You need some help?” He asked.

I shook my head and tried to close the gate on him but he was already picking up the mechanism and screwdriver.

“I can do it.” I sound like a dying mouse. I reached for the lock but he didn’t even seem to notice. “Hold the door steady and I’ll just--”

“I can do it myself,” I said louder but he still didn’t seem to hear me. Or chose not to.

He reached around the gate and pulled it closer to him. I grabbed the bars and he slid the lock into place. His metal fingers shifted it and aligned the holes.

“Do you have the screws?” He asked.

I found the box on the bunch of rocks just beside the gate. I handed him each long screw and he easily twisted them into place.

“There ya go,” He gave the screwdriver back and smiled.

I closed the gate, as good as pushing him out of the yard. He let me but looked confused. I took the key from the box and slid it in the slot. I turned it and the click slowed my racing heart.

“I still don’t know your name,” He said.

I didn’t tell him and left him there. You think he’d get the clue.

Thursday

It’s not even 5am. I woke up in a sweat. The fan is dead and the house has grown stolid, even as the night air slips through the open window.

I thought I’d closed it more but it is wide open and the power is out. There is an eerie silence as the buzz of the fridge is entirely gone and the house is pitch black.

I swear I saw something move in the window. Maybe a bird?

I tried to get back to sleep but it’s too hot. I guess I’ll just sit and wait for the sun to rise. It’s already starting to.

I want to go out in the garden today. I just hope that man doesn’t bother me again. I hope the lock is still in place.

Friday

Well, yesterday was fine. The power came back on at noon as I watered the garden and trimmed some overgrown plants. The freesias had grown despite my neglect.

Today was just as boring. I read at the patio table for a while but then the phone started ringing. Dr. Tisha was checking in. She said she put the signs up yesterday and hoped the turn out would be good. She asked me how much I got done. I lied and said a lot.

Now I’m going to go sort through the guest room and toss a few records on top to get her off my back. I guess I’ll just have to hide under the table tomorrow.

Saturday

Everytime I think I’m doing better, it all goes so bad!

Dr. Tisha and Lorena arrived early to set up the yard sale. They unfolded a table just inside the gate, leaving it wide open, and helped me arrange everything on top of it. I was nervous and tired. I didn’t sleep very much.

I waited nervously and the first customer showed up. Gladys, an old friend of Grandma’s. She bought an old pin cushion and the Miles Davis record. I should have kept that.

I watched mostly as Dr. Tisha and Lorena took the money and helped people, both familiar and not.

Dr. Tisha made me introduce myself to them at least. I hated it but they were mostly friendly. A woman with two children, I think she said her name was Essie? She said she liked my shirt. That was nice.

But then he showed up! I ignored him at first as he played with the ornamental cowbell. He took that and a few records from the table. He didn’t even seem to notice Dr. Tisha or Lorena as he came to me.

I kept my head down as I lined up the thimbles beside the painted sewing box.

“How much for the records?” He asked.

I didn’t say anything and went to the other end of the table. He followed and I turned back and went back to the other end again. He followed me. Again.

“Now,” Tisha stopped me. “What are you doing? He asked you a question.”

I looked up and blinked dumbly. “What? I didn’t-- I was--”

“Bucky,” Lorena greeted him as she neared. “Tisha, this is the neighbour who helped with the groceries the other day.”

“Oh, hello,” She held out her hand as she blocked me from getting away. “I’m Tisha.”

She introduced me then and told me like a child to say hello. I did, quietly.

“Are you… the one who gave her the flowers?” Tisha asked.

“I did.” He smiled. “But I guess she already has enough.”

“She’s shy,” Tisha lowered her voice. “She’s working on it. Now,” she turned to me, “how much do you want for the records… and bell?”

I didn’t know what to say. The man watched me and I felt as if I would melt.

“Come on.” Tisha poked me. “We talked about this, right? This is your sale.”

“Ten dollars each,” I doubled the price. “And twenty for the bell.”

“That’s a bit pricey,” Lorena said. I shrugged.

“Sounds fair to me,” The man took out his wallet as he leaned the record on the table beneath the bell and used his leg to keep it from falling. “I’ve never listened to these bands before and I’m trying to expand my library.”

He held out the money. Tisha had to elbow me to get me to take it. I snatched it from him and counted it. Another elbow as Lorena kept me from turning away.

“Thank you,” I said to him.

“I hope you enjoy the records,” Tisha offered gently before she pulled me aside.

She took me closer to the house as Lorena watched the table. She lowered her voice. “What’s going on?” She asked.

“Nothing.” I lied.

“Nothing? Why were you so rude to him?”

“I don’t like him.”

“You don’t know him.” She insisted.

“I don’t want to.”

“Look, I know you’re uneasy around men, but he was nice. And he’s your neighbour. You’ll be seeing a lot of him so I think you should at least try to be friendly. And remember what I said about friends?”

“My only friend is dead.”

I was so upset I ran inside. And now I’m locked in my room, waiting for them all to just go away.

#bucky barnes #dark bucky barnes #dark!bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #dark bucky barnes x reader #dark!bucky barnes x reader #fic #dark fic #dark!fic #series #from eden #agoraphobia #mcu #marvel

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bosooka · 4 years

Photo

some of y’all might’ve noticed me reblogging like,,,cliche lesbian stuff no offense to lesbians to a weird cryptic tag--no? you didn’t? ok well nevertheless...behold the explanation! if you like:

- farmcore lesbians

- queer stories that aren’t love, simon + do not end in suicide

- books you can tell were an ordeal to research

- ~character-driven~ novels

this may be the wip for you! reply/send an ask to be added to the taglist :D

transcript under the cut:

[Image 1: an all-white powerpoint slide with text in comic sans. the title reads, “no mercy left for god,” and the subtitle reads “a wip intro by isaakandreyevs.” the surrounding rainbow text reads, clockwise: “mormons! gays! mormon gays!” “researching this made me extremely concerned for the safety and wellbeing of christian LGBT teenagers: a novel by me” “this is either the stupidest thing or the best thing i’ve ever written” “the lesbian adoption fantasy every rejected queer kid had at 14 except 900% more christian” “born entirely out of my insane parental instincts” End image 1.]

[Image 2: powerpoint slide titled “what’s in here???” a bullet-pointed list reads as follows:

“- farm lesbians who are moms - Gayngst™ - adoption plot - chosen families!!! - livestock with personalities - teenagers doing stupid teenager things - responsible adults - the jesus christ church of latter day saints (we’ll get there)” End image 2.]

[Image 3: slide titled “trigger warnings.” text reads as follows:

“- major: homophobia, conversion therapy, abuse, self-harm, mental illness, faith crises, suicidal ideation - minor (kind of): farm-typical animal death, bullying, foster care, alcohol use, underage”

aside adds: “yeah this is one of those books but dw there’s a happy ending lmao” End image 3.]

[Image 4: slide titled “plot?? no plot just gays.” text reads as follows:

“1998: farm country, idaho - catholic baby butch joey di angelo meets mormon annie haywood, who is pioneering new levels of lesbian repression - Romance Ensues but annie has really shitty parents - wild mormon stuff happens - and also a roadtrip kind of

2016: dc/virginia bc fuck idaho - joey & annie are now married and agree to foster a mormon girl, bailey, who got taken from her family after she was outed and her dad put her in the hospital - bailey is a trainwreck of a person and has been through three foster families and a group home - but dw the lesbian moms have come to save the day? - idk guys this is a character-driven novel - there’s also a goat” End image 4.]

[Image 5: slide titled “cast, pt. 1″. First drawing shows a woman with curly brown hair and amber eyes. she’s smiling. she has tan skin and freckles, and is wearing a white shirt with a red hoodie. her description reads:

“josephine ‘joey’ di angelo - dumb farm jock - likes rocks (gives cool ones to annie) - catholic but like. a normal person primarily - dad jokes - takes in pathetic life forms - personality is “soft puppy”

the second drawing shows a woman with long, dark hair. she has blue eyes and glasses and is frowning. her description reads:

anna ‘annie’ haywood di angelo - needs a hug - mormon and gay, fucked up about it - no coping mechanisms we die like repressed christian lesbians - loves joey an embarrassing amount - world cold and hard. titty soft and warm - would rather cut her own hand off than drink coffee” End image 5.]

[Image 6: titled “cast, pt. 2″. first drawing shows a Black woman with very dark skin and braided hair. she wears glasses and is holding a starbucks drink. her description reads:

“adanna ‘dani’ bankole - joey’s best friend + self-preservation instincts - bailey’s case worker - isn’t getting paid enough for this shit - patience of a saint - aroace but a Lesbian Magnet™”

second drawing shows a young girl with blonde hair and green eyes. she has heavy bags under her eyes and is frowning. her description reads:

“bailey park - would rather close a door on her head than admit her feelings - prays for the sweet release of death - really, really needs a hug - hasn’t slept since her baptism - a girl smiled at her and she cried for two hours” End image 6.]

[Image 7: slide titled “cast, pt. men”. first drawing on the left shows a young man with brown hair and blue eyes. he’s wearing a suit and tie and is growing the valiant beginnings of a beard. his description reads:

“bennett ‘ben’ haywood - annie’s youngest brother - actually nice - came back from mission to find his family in flames”

the second drawing on the left shows a slightly older man with pale skin, brown hair and blue eyes. he has a full beard and bags under his eyes. his description reads:

“hiram haywood - annie’s younger brother - fuck this guy - Complicated - reason the haywoods are a goddamn ordeal”

the first drawing on the right shows a man with curly brown hair like joey’s, a full beard, and dark brown eyes. he has sunglasses pushed to the top of his head. his description reads:

“anthony ‘tony’ di angelo - joey’s twin - Softe - a good boy who tries his best - let’s go lesbians”

the second drawing on the right shows an older man with grey hair and a beard. he’s wearing wire-frame glasses and a beige cardigan. his description reads:

“nonno - joey’s grandpa - gay magnet (since the 50s) - family sauce recipe will die with him - fought fascists and won” End image 7.]

#writeblr #wip intro #comic sans wip intro #queer fiction #ofcolourtracking #explo writes #wip: nmlfg #if anyone needs me i will be Up To The Shoulder in mormon scripture #this book has been...a fucking nightmare to research #thankfully my vod'ika has the patient of a saint #pun not intended #i donated like 50 dollars to queer youth shelters in slc after like...2 days of research #also i learned a lot about goats #and apple orchards #we'll get there #explostential crisis

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hela-avenger · 4 years

Text

poison & wine- part 16

Author: hela-avenger

Word Count: 1591

Summary: Prince Loki of Asgard is in need of a date to take back home. That’s where you come in with a task of your own to make the whole trip with an insufferable prince worth it. Too bad that things don’t always go as planned and you end up giving more than you can take. Fake-Dating AU.

A/N: If you’ll like to be tagged please reach out to me!

poison & wine masterlist

Your eyes flutter open just to find the stars on the ceiling long gone. The light of the Asgardian sunrise had cast the darkness of the room away and you wonder how early you have to wake in order to witness it in person. You make a mental note to ask the girls but are disrupted by the sound of your stomach growling.

Loki and you had unknowingly gone to bed early and had skipped dinner. It hadn’t been your intention but you were starving now and hoped the girls would be coming by soon with breakfast.

Recalling Loki, you look over at his side of the bed to surprisingly find him still there. He seemed to still be asleep so you try to be as quiet as can be as you start to step out of the bed.

You manage to pull the bed cover away on your own making you suspicious of foul play the night prior. As you turn back to fix it, you find yourself staring at Loki’s bare back. You dropped the cover where it was and couldn’t help but stare.

The entirety of his back was mangled with an array of scars. Some long and jagged, others short and straight. There was a variety and you wondered how he could have survived any of them.

You had your history of scars.

None on you but to the people around you.

You recall your time as an army nurse. The mangled bodies you saw on a daily basis. New and old scars that scattered around the men fighting for their loved ones back at home. You knew what could cause them and how they could heal. You knew which ones would fade away with time and which ones would remain a reminder forever.

Loki’s back was scattered with the worst ones you’ve ever seen. Especially as you recalled that his body was meant to be able to withstand much more than a mortal body ever could. Whoever did this to him must have been very strong and the pain… You can’t even imagine the level of pain he must have felt.

None of the scars look like they healed with care. The way his skin was discolored beyond the wound made you aware that he must have been left to deal with them on his own. Wounded, tortured, perhaps left to die.

Someone hurt him. Someone hurt him very badly.

Your hand itches to run your hand across his back. An ill attempt to heal something just by the pure will of it. You know it’s impossible but you wish to at least try.

So you do... or at least you try to before you’re interrupted by Loki’s groan. He hums as he turns onto his back to stretch, his eyes fluttering open to meet yours.

“What are you doing?” Loki asks.

You pull your hand back and try to erase the last minute away from your mind.

“Trying to see if you were alive,” you manage to lie. “You are awfully still when asleep. It looks like you’re dead.”

Loki stares in response. His eyes narrow down at you trying to gauge if your words were true or not. Though in the end, it didn’t matter as he shook his head and sat up. His back faces you again but the scars you had seen had disappeared. His back was bare from any of it.

You blink and then you blink again but Loki’s back remains scar-free.

Part of you wonders if it had all been a figment of your imagination, but like the bed cover and the stars glowing in the ceiling, you knew this cover up had something to do with the use of seidr. You just didn’t know why.

A timid knock on the door disrupts your thoughts and you are quick to shift your attention elsewhere. You reach for your robe and tug it on just as Loki stands up from the bed and reaches your side.

“Come in,” he bellows as he swings an arm around your waist and pulls you to him. You catch yourself on his chest and you have to refrain from following your instincts which were telling you to push him away. Instead, you let your hands remain where they are as the doors begin to open. “Good morning, girls.”

“Good morning, your majesty.”

“Start on breakfast without me,” Loki states as he pulls away from you. “I’ll be in the library doing some light reading.”

He winks at you and turns to your handmaidens who are trying their hardest to stare at his face. Loki only grins and snaps his fingers to dress himself alleviating the tension in the room.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay and eat?” you ask, capturing his attention once more.

He turns to look at you in question and you don’t understand why you’re even offering to spend more time with him. The silence stretches out a second too long but Loki immediately fixes it by simply smiling down at you.

“Missing me already, pet?” he asks.

You couldn’t help but genuinely laugh at the question.

“You know I always do,” you manage to respond sweetly. “It’s why I keep coming back to you.”

Loki's smile manages to grow wider before he presses a kiss on your forehead. You let out your breath when the touch of his lips on your skin disappears. His hold on your face doesn’t leave as he tilts your head up so that you may look at him.

His eyes flutter to your lips and a spike of anxiety runs through your spine at the thought of him kissing you again.

He doesn’t.

“I won’t be away for too long,” Loki states as he releases you. “I’ll be back to share lunch with you.”

Without another word, Loki makes his way out of your room leaving you at the care of your handmaidens.

Loki flipped through the travel archives with exasperated boredom. He hadn’t realized how many outings were cataloged from the past century. He knew that Thor and he had taken advantage of traveling to other realms with any excuse at all. Loki was growing to regret it as each visit was written down.

There were pages upon pages concerning Thor and his travels that Loki was having a hard time trying to narrow down other royal members who had left Asgard for whatever purpose necessary. It became more complicated as visits to Midgard were non-existent.

It was like looking for a needle in a haystack except Loki didn’t know what the needle looked like.

“Trouble?”

Loki looks up from the catalog to find his mother staring down at him with an amused smile. He glances around momentarily to make sure they were alone and nods.

“I can’t seem to find any trace of recent travel to Midgard,” Loki sighs out. “There’s too many transcriptions that it’s taking longer for me to get through them all.”

“Hmm,” Frigga hums as she takes the book from Loki and looks through it. “Well, perhaps you should be looking through something more recent. The girl is a bit younger than this, isn’t she?”

“I’ve started around the year of her birth but nothing appears,” Loki sighs out as he pulls the first book he started with from the stack. “So I assumed that perhaps her father arrived earlier.”

“And you found nothing?”

“Nothing,” Loki sighs out. “And I doubt anyone could have traveled down and stayed for longer than a century. Odin would never allow such a long visit.”

Frigga scowls and sets the book down.

“Well then that’s quite a problem, isn’t it?”

Loki watches as her mother begins to pace.

“What’s wrong?” he asks her.

“Either her father traveled through other means...” Frigga states.

“That’s impossible seeing as Midgard has travel records that indicate the Bifrost was used.”

“Which then leaves us with another troublesome predicament,” Frigga sighs out unhappily.

“Which is?”

“That your father sent him down secretly.”

“Why would Odin do such a thing?” Loki asks confused.

“I don’t know,” Frigga shrugs. “It could have been a short banishment like your brother or perhaps another reason altogether. Either way, those records would be sealed with your father having sole access.”

Loki lets out a heavy sigh unsure of what he was meant to do now.

“This has become too complicated.”

“It sure has,” Frigga agrees as she takes the seat next to him. “But for her sake, we must continue our search.”

“How?” Loki asks. “By asking Odin?”

“Yes, that’s…”

“No,” Loki interrupts her. “He’ll immediately want an explanation and what am I to tell him?”

“The truth, Loki.”

“Absolutely not,” Loki exclaims.

“Why not?” Frigga asks him. “For her safety? Or because you abhor the idea of telling the truth to your father?”

“He’s not my father!”

Frigga remains silent, her lips pressed together tightly. She waits for Loki to calm down watching his deep breaths return to a normal pace. He realizes his overreaction and turns to face her apologetically.

“I do not need to rely on that man more than I already have to,” Loki states. “I will find Y/N’s father and keep her safe on my own.”

Frigga lets out a sigh knowing there was no way to convince him otherwise.

“Then so be it,” Frigga resigns. “But whatever shall you do now?”

Loki didn’t have an answer to her question. His only hope relied on you and so that was the only path he could take at the moment.

poison & wine tag: @damalseer @just-the-hiddles @jessiejunebug @nonsensicalobsessions @smollest-soybean @assassinoftheworld @readerbandit @doyoufeelikeayounggod @strangemcuvlogs @ha-tep @i-dont-know-eiither @gene-king @day-dreaming-fox @bn-studies @is-it-madness @sigyn-njorddottir @devilbat @victor-criss-bish @skinny-macncheese @musicconversedance @baby-bunnyxn @fandoms-allovertheplace @marvelloonie @jinxjinxednova @queenmuahaha

Loki Tag: @unicorniorosacomefrutillas @thesilentbluesparrow @oddly-drawn-muse @josiehosiedaninja @hp-hogwartsexpress @sadwaywardkid @wolf-lover74

All Works Tag: @jmb959 @astudyoftimeywimeystuff @hellocookiecutter @steve-rogers-personal-hell @buckybarnesyard @not-zari-tak

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knovesstorytelling · 3 years

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Murray Mysteries S1E3 Transcript

Episode 3. Dr Seward’s Clinical Hour

Written By May Toudic

Mina: Welcome to Murray Mysteries.

[Theme music plays.]

Mina: Hello everyone! And welcome back to the podcast. Today’s episode is something a little bit different. I promised variety, entertainment, and a healthy amount of educational content. So, we are branching out. I’m here with Dr. Jane Seward, who agreed to tell us about her job as a clinical psychiatrist and share some of her case notes with us.

Jane: Thank you for having me, Miss Murray. It’s a pleasure to be here.

Mina: Thank you for coming. I know this can’t have been the most, um, comfortable location for us. First of all, how did you end up running a whole mental health institution at such a young age?

Jane: Oh, I, I guess I got lucky. I did quite a few internships during my degree, including at the institution I currently work at. They offered me a residency after graduation and then a permanent job. The previous director left soon after that and he offered me his position.

Mina: You must’ve done an amazing job to climb the ranks so quickly. I assume junior members of the staff usually aren’t a first pick for a job like this.

Jane: I do my best, but I wasn’t any more deserving than any of my colleagues.

Mina: Okay.

[She hums in thought.]

Mina: Now, can you tell us what your job entails exactly?

Jane: Mostly administrative tasks. The day to day running of an institution like this one requires a lot of paperwork. But I do get to take on a few patients to keep my skills sharp and conduct my research.

Mina: Wha— what kind of research?

Jane: I’m generally assigned to cases that can’t easily be diagnosed with anything in the handbook. I have a patient at the moment — oh, uh, you want to play the recordings?

Mina: If you don’t mind. Listeners, the very organized Dr. Seward has agreed to share some of the voice notes she takes on the job to keep track of her cases. We’ll still be here to interject if anything needs explaining, but for now, take it away Past Doctor.

[A beep.]

Jane (recording): Right. New patient in today, and a promising case. I’ll call him R in here for confidentiality purposes. Late 50’s, impressive physical strength, very excitable with periods of depression and some fixation we haven’t managed to pinpoint yet.

[A beep.]

Jane: R has been with us for a few days now and I’ve had the chance to get to know his case better. He displays signs of a few known disorders, but his symptoms are peculiar. He’s obsessed with animals, started collecting insects he found in his room and common areas. Spiders mostly. Some flies, even a few birds. He uses a lot of his own food to keep them alive, even if we upped his portions, so we’re somewhat worried about his nutrition. Although it seems like he’s, um. Eating some of them. Escalation is a concern in this case, especially since he’s started requesting other pets. He keeps asking for a cat, which we of course had to refuse. We’ll see how the situation evolves in the coming days, but this is an interesting case. Zoophagia, some kind of fixation, I need to do more research. There must’ve been a similar case somewhere, sometime. But if this hasn’t been documented yet, this could be big. Right, to the books.

[A beep.]

Mina: That is fascinating. Do you already have a diagnosis in mind?

Jane: There are a few possibilities, but I don’t want to favour a particular one until we have more information. I’m hopeful we can diagnosis in due time. It’s easier to treat a condition when we know what we’re treating.

Mina: Um. What happens if, uh, if it isn’t a known condition?

Jane: In the unlikely case this is something new, I do research. More research, and more research on top of that. Take a lot of notes, ask for a second opinion, then a third. Then I write a very long paper, have it peer-reviewed, and submit it to many, many, many academic journals.

Mina: That sounds like a lot of work. But, it would be rewarding, right?

Jane: A new illness is quite an important discovery, yes. But the well-being of the patient comes first, and the best thing for him would be to get diagnosed and treated for something that has a precedent.

Mina: Of course. Well. Ah, this has been a great talk! I’d love for you to come back and keep us updated if that’s okay with you.

Jane: Hem, yes. Yes, why not. I, I just.

Mina: Ah. I’ll make sure Lucy’s out.

Jane: Thank you.

Mina: Well, this was clinical hour with Dr. Jane Seward. Tune in next time for an update on R’s mysterious condition.

Jane: Oh, um. Goodbye!

[Jane leaves the room.]

Mina: I hope you all enjoyed that because this week’s personal update isn’t the cheeriest. Sorry. I know, I promised you, uh. Fun and entertainment. I just—

[She sighs.]

Mina: I’m worried. Talking to you makes me feel a little less... Alone. Like I’m not just, talking into the void. The past few days have been complicated. I haven’t heard from Jonathan in a while. At first, I figured he has no reception. The place he was headed to was in the middle of nowhere, so we figured this might happen. But. I still got nervous after days without signs of life. So I reached out to the boss at his firm, Mr. Hawkins, uh, to see if he knew anything. But he told me he just received an email from Jonathan saying he was leaving his client’s place. Just one line. No time frame, no flight details. Nothing.

[She sighs again.]

Mina: It’s not like, it’s not like J, I swear it’s not. He’s usually open and communicative. First Christmas after we got together, he went home to see his family and kept texting me about every single part of his day. When he woke up, what he dreamt about, what he had for breakfast, what the weather was like, what presents he’d found for his third cousin and the food—

Mina (laughingly): Oh God, so many food pictures.

Mina: Anyway. I tried to ignore it and, uh. Just wait for him to get back. But it’s been a few days now. And no matter how I think about it, there’s no way it would take that long to get from the Romania to UK. Mr. Hawkins hasn’t heard from him either, not since that one email. I keep thinking something’s happened to him. I get this… feeling of dread every time the phone rings.

[She lets out a quiet breath.]

Mina: I would normally talk to Lucy about this, she’s great at talking me out of a crisis, but she hasn’t been herself either. She’s sleepwalking almost every night. Her mum says it used to happen when she was a kid, but definitely not that much. We agreed to keep her bedroom door locked at night. I sleep in here with her so I can keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn’t try and get out. But that means I keep getting woken up by her moving around and I’m not sleeping much. Lucy’s mum thinks all the sleepwalkers gravitate towards roofs and cliffs and end up falling to their deaths. So far, Lucy’s only been wandering through the house and raiding the fridge, but uh. Better safe than sorry?

Mina: She’s even more angsty than usual too. Art had to fly to the US, their dad’s not doing great, so she’s been dragging me into her schemes and making herself busy. If I have to spend one more night watching her do shots at the village pub, I might lock her in during the day. No, no I feel bad just saying it. But, come on! Even jigsaw puzzles aren’t worth all this. Especially not when she keeps getting distracted and sending Art pictures of the funny shapes.

[A pause.]

Mina: The weather’s turning, I should— I should go check on her. I promise the next update will be more fun. I’ll do cartwheels or something.

Mina (whispering): Wait, no, you can’t see me.

Mina: Um, verbal cartwheels? I’ll— I’ll do those? Ugh. I’ll talk to you next week, when I’ve had time to figure out what verbal cartwheels are and how to do them. Bye!

[Theme music begins]

Credits: Murray Mysteries is a Knoves Storytelling production. This episode was written and produced by May Toudic and featured Drew Victorie as Mina Murray and Bebhinn Tankard as Dr. Jane Seward. Original music by Sophie K. Thank you for listening.

#mm transcripts

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mostly-mundane-atla · 4 years

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Fox Wife Legends, Earth Kingdom

It can be difficult to group all the Earth Kingdom stories involving fox wives as the same type of story about the same creature, as the vast territories are home to dense and culturally diverse populations. The variations on the fox wife mythos in Earth Kingdom are countless, too much to accurately list in a single blog post or encyclopedia entry, so here are the most popular from studied literary sources.

In the famous Ballad of Kuei, a mythologized retelling of the life of an early Earth King whom the recent Earth King Kuei was named after, a powerful spirit called the Onyx-Eyed Lady and known for taking the form of a giant fox took an interest in the young king. She wasn't sure if she wanted to be his downfall or his greatest ally, only that she wanted to affect him deeply, so she took on a human form and charmed him until he begged her to marry him. Calling herself Onyx, the spirit hid her true nature from her royal husband and did not allow him to hold the children she bore him until she could change their appearence from fox kits to human infants. In a well known and often parodied moment, he holds his swaddled newborn son while his queen is sleeping and screams when he sees that the child has the ears and snout of a young fox. Queen Onyx wakes at this and takes the child from him, silently magicking his looks, and asks her husband why he screamed. The King explains and she laughs and praises him for being such a dutiful and devoted husband that he tired himself into seeing such a thing. Unsure, he looks at their newborn again, only to find him unremarkably human.

The King took no concubines or mistresses, but not at her insistance, only because he had eyes for no one but her. She was not only beautiful and charming but also advised him in political and military matters. She encouraged him to act boldly in all situations so that those who would turn against him would tremble at his confident ease. "Better to be a god in the eyes of the people," she reasoned, "than merely hope they don't betray you." Most notably, she advised him to build the three walls around Ba Sing Se. After his death she vanished without a trace, leaving the palace in turmoil as their five sons (the elder four of whom were two sets of twins) plotted for the throne and five beautiful daughters attempted to avoid marriage at every turn

The Onyx-Eyed Lady has a quiet and scattered religious following around the Earth Kingdom within which she is venerated and feared in equal measure. It is said that with enough devotion and offerings, she might be inclined to help a young woman find a sweetheart or husband, but with a word of disrespect for her hymns or ceremonies, she may cause all that the same woman loves to wither away.

In the Si Wong Desert, legends and folklore tell of fox wives carrying wisdom and forgotten knowledge in their mouths. One might take off her skin to appear human and beg for food and water which traditionally must be granted to the best of the tribesmen's ability. When she opens her mouth to eat or drink, one can see a marble on her tongue "like the sun in a bed of gauzy clouds" which is understood to consist of godly knowledge. She might ask to share their shelter for the night, which is also to be granted by tradition, and may ask an unmarried man gazing at her beauty if she could sleep beside him. The man usually can't help saying yes.

She may allow the man to touch, kiss, and flatter her, but will refuse him her hand in marriage, citing that her devotion to her Goddess forbids it. He will ask about the marble on her tongue and she will deny its existence, telling him only foxes carry such things in their mouths. He might ask if a human can take it and she will tell him the fox will be smarter than him but if he can fight well enough to make it entertaining, he may be rewarded. The next day, before anyone wakes, she dons her fox skin and if her bedmate can fight her well enough, she'll give him her knowledge and move on.

The discovery of Wan Shi Tong's Library (and his Knowledge Seekers) in the Si Wong Desert and a lucrative business some tribes have where they charge scholars to copy their own transcripts of rare texts suggests there may be some truth to the legend.

With Blossoms in Her Hair, a centuries-old novel, has yet another take. Written by the lord of the territory that would later be known as the town of Gaoling as a wedding gift for his wife, it follows the story of the Blossom Girl who falls in love with the Mute Gentleman and must rescue him from the fox wife known as Long-Teeth by answering her one hundred riddles. The story is considered a classic and one of the most touching romantic comedies ever written, but is best known for its cruel antagonist.

Long-Teeth is cold and possessive over the Mute Gentleman, intending to force him to marry her and then devour his heart so he would forget love and do only as she wished, and almost seems ill-suited for an otherwise lighthearted tale. Her threats of tearing off his limbs and making them a dinner for both of them are unforgettably chilling, as is the scene where she chases the Blossom Girl before they bet the Mute Gentleman's life on a riddle contest. Along with the aggressive nature, another detail that sets this fox wife story from the rest is a notable vanity and greed. Long-Teeth forces the Mute Gentleman to agree to marriage for his gold and large house and in the end is thwarted by hiding all her mirrors so she couldn't leave her home without beautifying herself.

It is believed that the novel was a metaphor for the events leading up to the author's real life marriage. Just as the Blossom Girl was a miller's daughter and the Mute Gentleman was a young man of rank, the author's wife was a merchant's daughter and the author himself was a nobleman. Long-Teeth seems to be an amalgamation of his aunt, the social climbing matriarch of his family who pressured him to marry into the Omashu Royal Family, and the bride she chose for him, a sharp-tongued and critical perfectionist cousin to the Royal Family who only agreed to the match because his family's wealth might add to her own. The merchant's daughter whom the author loved had to sneak onto his family's property and climb up to his bedroom window to give him a marriage contract to sign so that he had legal proof of intention to marry another and thus could thwart his aunt's plan. This account has become a folk tradition in Gaoling, and to refer to someone "bushy-tailed" of "fox-tailed" there means that the person pressures others into relationships with them.

#avatar the last airbender #atla #atla headcanons #earth kingdom #this was fun #you heard it here first folks #the oldest meme in the avatar verse is *it's ___!* *[magicks looks] no it's not* *ah so it's not actually*#and sandbenders will wrestle foxes hoping they're knowledge seekers with rare books #but like just the dumb jock ones

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ethereousdelirious · 4 years

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Whumptober # 13 - Pneumonia

The original prompt was “chemical pneumonia,” but i had to alter it because lung stuff squicks me out.

Fandom: The M.agnus A.rchives

Characters, E.lias, J.on, Tim, S.asha, M.artin

Warnings/Notes: I characterized E.lias differently than i usually do, so YMMV with this one. Notes justifying this at the end. The fic is spoiler-free but the end note will not be, so just skip that if you’re not up to like, S4

It was odd watching Elias get sick in real time.

Jon swore he had never seen him so much as he did just following his promotion. First there was the scary meeting in Elias’ office, and then it felt like he checked on Jon at least once a week.

He was sniffling and tucking a handkerchief, an actual honest-to-god handkerchief, back into his jacket for the first visit.

“Ah, Jon!” he said, a little stuffed up. “Just the man I wanted to see. How’s everything coming?”

“Oh, um.” Jon had to fight not to shy away from Elias’ gaze. “Uh, good, thank you.”

“Yes?” Elias seemed to get closer, though he didn’t move. “Got your things moved over to the bigger office?”

“Yes.”

Elias nodded once, then turned his head to the side and sneezed.

This time Jon did step back.

“Got a cold, then?” he asked with faux-casualness that made his voice too booming and jovial.

“Ah,” Elias sniffled. “Yes. No matter, I’m sure it’ll go away soon.” He clapped Jon on the back and left.

Jon went back to his computer, icy branches of discomfort tracing up his spine. Sometimes Elias didn’t act like a person.

He was worse on the next visit, but not by much. Jon was coming back from his lunch break and Tim was following, teasing.

“–and we’ll get you a great big nameplate,” Tim said, tracing the size of it with his hands. “Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist.” He snorted, not seeming to realize that he was being annoying. “We’ll get you a big, fancy badge to go along with it.”

Then Elias turned the corner and scared the daylights out of them both. Jon actually jumped and knocked into Tim a bit.

“Hello, Jon. Tim.”

Jon tried to catch his breath. “Oh, E-Elias.”

“You scared us!” Tim said,always eager to smooth things over. “How can we help you?”

“Yes.” Jon straightened. “Sorry.”

Elias didn’t answer right away. He gave a few juddering coughs into his sleeve first. Then he straightened and cleared his throat. “I wanted to see how the re-organization was coming. That’s an ambitious project, especially for four academics. I don’t suppose you used to be a filing clerk?” he asked Tim.

“No,” sad Tim. He hesitated. “Are you, um, alright, Elias? You look a little–” He waved his hand in front of his face.

“Just a cold!” Elias said, too brightly for a man who evidently couldn’t breathe out of his nose. He turned to address Jon again. “Show me your progress?”

“Oh, yes, of course.” Jon turned and led Elias to the archives. He was never one for small talk, so he lapsed into a pensive, nervous silence.

Jon knew he was a workaholic, but if he ever had the audacity to come to work as sick as Elias sounded, he would have at least locked himself away in an office and not inflicted himself on everyone.

“Remind me again why you’re–” Elias paused to clear his throat– “converting everything to audio format.”

Jon pursed his lips, trying not to feel too attacked. “Well,” he said. He didn’t like to look Elias in the eyes, so he kept bouncing his gaze between Elias’ raw nose and chapped, parted lips. “I, ah. I thought it might be good to have a backup. Some of the statements are so old you can barely read them. I thought we could convert them to audio format and derive transcripts from that.”

“Spelling might be an issue,” Elias said. Before Jon could even take a breath to speak, Elias was coughing again. It was a nasty, wheezing fit that lasted entirely too long for Jon’s comfort and left Elias short of breath. “Do excuse me,” he said when he was done, and smiled a little. It was still enough to make his chapped lower lip split and start to bleed.

“Oh, god,” Jon said before he could stop himself. “Are you sure you should be here? Sir.” He was not about to get written up for having an attitude problem. Again.

“Of course.” Elias sniffled and touched his lip, looking strangely bemused at the blood that stained his fingertip.

He looked so lost that Jonathan felt strangely compelled to give him a hint. “Maybe some lip balm? When the bleeding stops?”

“Yes, of course.” The confusion faded away, replaced with a businesslike demeanor that suited him better, somehow. In his black suit and charcoal-colored shirt, the paleness of his face looked all the more sickly. Despite the dark circles under his eyes, he managed to give Jon a keen look. “We’ll continue this later, then.”

“Feel better soon,” Jon offered, but it sounded hollow even to his own ears.

Jon always hated meetings. Especially meetings where he had to talk. Especially meetings where he had to explain his thought process to a room full of people.

He made sure to arrive first, so he had plenty of time to sit there and make himself nervous, and turn that into a razor-edged irritability he could thrust into anyone who argued with him too much.

Sasha and Martin came in together.

“Afternoon,” Jon said stiffly. “Seen Tim?”

“He’ll be along,” Martin said. “I think he popped out to buy donuts or something.”

“No, no,” Sasha said, pulling up a chair a respectful distance away from Jon. “Coffee, remember? He changed his mind.”

“Coffee, then,” Martin corrected himself.

Sure enough, Tim came in a moment later with a paperboard beverage caddy.

“Oh, thank God I beat Elias here,” he said, sliding into a chair. He passed out the coffees until only one was left. “Sasha, I got you a white mocha because you’re sweet. Martin, a vanilla latte because you’re timid–”

“What?”

Tim steamrollered over the top of him. “Spicy chai latte for me because obviously, and plain black for Jon and Elias because” he dropped his voice to a stage whisper, “they scare me.”

“Charming.” Jon examined the label on his cup and found that Tim had actually gotten him a flat white. He decided not to read into it.

“Afternoon,” said a terrible, rasping voice that might have had Elias’ smooth veneer buried somewhere beneath it. Elias sat with his back ramrod straight. Despite the high flush on his cheeks that bespoke a fever and the general paleness of the rest of him, his eyes were still as keen and bright as they ever were.

“You sound awful,” Tim said, sliding him the final coffee. “Maybe that’ll help your throat.”

“Have you taken any time off?” Sasha asked.

Jon took another sip of his coffee to hide his shock at their openness. If Elias wanted to work through what was obviously a miserable chest cold, that was his choice.

Elias dragged in a breath to speak and Jon winced. His breathing sounded heavy and wet. “It’s alright,” he said. He stared each of them in turn with his glittering, dark eyes, and Jon was just about convinced when Elias turned to the side and started to cough.

It was wholly unlike what he’d sounded like before. These were wet, dragging things, like every breath had to pass through a damp tea towel.

“Boss, I think you’d better go home,” Tim said when the fit slowed to a halt. “Or maybe to a doctor.”

“A doctor? For a cold?”

“That’s more than a cold,” Martin said with certainty. “That sounds more like pneumonia.”

Elias’ eyebrows went up. “Pneumonia,” he repeated. Then his face changed in a way Jon didn’t really understand. Something seemed to glint behind his eyes, well, not glint, but they changed and his expression became one of complete understanding. It was like nothing Jon had ever seen before.

It was gone in an instant, and Elias’ face went back to the same expression of gormless authority he usually wore, like he’d just woken up one day and found himself wielding an enormous amount of power.

“Of course,” he said, shaking his head and smiling sheepishly. “I’m not often ill– I’m sorry, we’ll have to postpone the meeting.”

“I think we’ll survive,” Tim said airily.

They all waited for Elias to leave, for the echo of his footsteps to taper off down the hall.

Then they all leaned in.

“My god, he looked awful,” Martin said.

“I thought he was gonna drop dead,” Sasha agreed. “Did you hear him coughing?”

“Honestly, who doesn’t know they have pneumonia?” Tim added.

Jon hivered, as he often did, at the periphery of the conversation. He let himself smile to show that he wasn’t going to be a spoilsport, but he wasn’t sure it would be appropriate to join in.

“Even Jon knows better than that,” Tim was saying.

“No, he doesn’t,” Sasha said, but she was smiling.

“I certainly wouldn’t call a meeting while ill with pneumonia, if that’s what you’re asking,” Jon said.

“Well, good,” Martin said.

“Ah, but he didn’t say he wouldn’t come to work,” Sasha said.

The bantering continued. Jonathan leaned back, coffee in hand. He would have to corral them back to work soon, but for now, it was nice to just sit back and listen for a while.

Note: *Stop reading here if you don’t want spoilers*

I leaned into the “obfuscating stupidity” trope but because the fic is from Jon’s POV it’s not obvious how much Jonahlias knows about his situation. I figure he doesn’t get sick much and kinda of… forgot to take into consideration how bad it could get. Esp because he was so wrapped up in making sure Jon’s transition to Archivist goes smoothly. I just really love how airheaded and ineffectual Elias seems at the beginning of the series haha

#whumptober 2020

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popolitiko · 4 years

Link

A political scientist explains why the GOP is a threat to American democracy And why the November election is an opportunity to fix it. By Sean [email protected]@vox.com Oct 20, 2020

It sounds hyperbolic to say that American democracy is broken, but an honest glance at the country — at our institutions and the broader political culture — makes it hard to conclude otherwise.

As things stand, one of our two major political parties is committed to suppressing as many votes as possible, and the leader of that party, the president of the United States, has said outright that he won’t accept the legitimacy of the election process if he doesn’t win.

If, under those conditions, Trump either wins the election or loses and throws the country into a bitter, protracted fight over the results, it doesn’t seem all that alarmist to suggest the US will have descended into what political scientists sometimes call a “weak democracy” or even “competitive authoritarianism.”

But I really don’t want to be overly alarmist, so I reached out to Pippa Norris, a political scientist at Harvard University and one of the leading authorities on global democracy. I wanted to know her honest assessment of the state of American democracy, why she thinks the upcoming election is a true turning point for the country, and what the US will have to do moving forward to undo the damage done in the past several years.

A lightly edited transcript of our conversation follows.

Sean Illing

If American democracy was a patient, how would you describe its condition?

Pippa Norris

I’d say the patient has not been well for a long time. The patient is obese and doesn’t exercise.

Sean Illing

You like to say that democracy is not an “all or nothing” process — it’s more like a continuum with peaks and valleys and lots of movement over time. Would you say that the biggest weakness in the American system right now is this combination of the intractability of our Constitution and the fact that one of our major parties, the Republican Party, is basically invested in an anti-democratic, countermajoritarian agenda?

Pippa Norris

It’s true that we’re facing an existential crisis in part because the Republican Party has put all of their appeals into a shrinking sector of the electorate — mostly white, mostly older. And they’re using their power to change the rules of the game to favor their own party. That’s all true

The point about the intractability of the Constitution is also true. There’s something called the Comparative Constitutions Project. They look at the longevity of constitutions and how much change is ideal and how much change is dysfunctional. So you don’t want a constitution that changes all the time because that leads to instability and you need to have rules of the game that everybody can agree upon. But you also can’t have a constitution that’s fundamentally unchangeable.

America is just off the charts in terms of the rarity of changes. It’s not just that we have so few changes; it’s the combination of institutional arrangements that make change almost impossible. America’s Constitution really doesn’t change, and we don’t look abroad for constitutional innovations.

Sean Illing

Can you give me an example of a good constitutional innovation from around the world?

https://www.vox.com/21496907/2020-election-republicans-american-democracy

#political scientist #GOP is a threat to American democracy

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