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#like it wasn’t his choice to do this he was just that depressed that he couldn’t do it anymore
cleo-fox · 9 months
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Surrender
Summary: Finding your soulmate is supposed to be a romantic, life changing experience.
No one tells you what to do when a). your soulmate is the homicidal maniac who led the successful takeover of your planet and made himself king and b). you kind of still want him anyway.
(Soulmate AU where Loki won)
Pairing: Loki x Female Reader
Warnings: Smut, 18+, Minors DNI, dirty talk, praise kink, oral sex, teasing, orgasm delay, sex, vaginal fingering.
A/N: look, I was intrigued by the idea of a Loki Wins AU and also a soulmate AU and this just sort of happened. I may write more of this concept because it gave me IDEAS. This is also available on AO3.
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The mark on your wrist begins to burn the minute he walks into the room.
At first you think it’s a coincidence or a mistake—there are guards walking with him, perhaps it’s one of them. But then he flinches, his right hand going to his left wrist and your heart sinks to your knees. It could still be a coincidence, you tell yourself halfheartedly.
He scans the room and when his eyes land on you, it’s like the tumblers of a lock clicking into place and you know.
He’s much taller than you thought he was—that’s the only conscious and coherent thought you manage to have as he approaches you. Being the subject of his gaze is overwhelming in a way that you sort of expect, but it still makes you want to sit down and close your eyes. He looks you over, his gaze lingering briefly on your nametag from work.
“Show me your wrist,” he says.
You don’t think he’s using his powers, but you comply automatically, extending your arm toward him, wrist turned up. There’s a frisson of electricity that buzzes along the back of your hand when he touches it—if there were any remaining doubts about who he is and his relationship to you, that feeling surely puts them to rest. You know that he must have felt something too from the way he looks at you sharply, as though he thinks you’ve done something intentional to cause this. You can only hope that your wide eyed bewilderment convincingly conveys your innocence.
His expression betrays nothing as he examines the mark on your wrist, which is now glowing a bright gold that would be pretty if the circumstances were different.
It’s funny, you think. You’ve been waiting for this moment your entire life and all you can think is that you wish it wasn’t happening.
He releases your hand and looks at you in a calculating sort of way. “Come with me,” he says finally.
You do, of course. What other choice do you have?
*
The next several hours are a blur.
You are shuffled from place to place. Usually there is at least one guard—you’re not sure why. The idea of you being able to do any damage to him is laughable and escape doesn’t exactly seem like an option. Where could you go that he could not find you?
It’s a depressing thought; you try not to think much about it.
You know exactly when the news breaks because it coincides with your phone basically becoming unusable due to the flood of notifications, calls, and texts. You put it on airplane mode to compose a short message to your family and friends. Your reassurances feel a little trite given the circumstances: I’m fine, I’ll call when I can.
You can’t exactly type what you’re really thinking, which is more along the lines of I’ve just learned that my soulmate is the homicidal maniac who led the successful takeover of our planet. I’m doing about as well as you’d expect.
You turn airplane mode off long enough to send the email. Once it sends, you power down your phone. It doesn’t seem prudent to leave it on, at least not right now—right now, it only serves as a reminder of a life you know you’re going to have to leave behind and you’re not at all ready to confront that particular loss.
They eventually take you to what you assume are his rooms. You’re surprised by how traditional the decor is—you had expected a cold sort of minimalism, but there’s more wood and warm colors than you would have thought. You are informed that there are clothes for you in the closet; you nod and say nothing, though you wonder how they managed to pull an entire wardrobe together in the span of only a few hours. Magic, perhaps.
You are finally left alone, though you’re fairly certain that you would find guards stationed outside if you were to look.
You take one of the elegant velvet throws from the bed and wrap it tightly around yourself before settling on the couch next to the window. You’re not exactly cold, but it feels like a necessary armor between you and this unfamiliar place.
You stare out the window for a long time. You’re too high up to people watch and you’re not sure that you could handle that anyway—it would be yet another reminder of the fact that your life has changed in a massive, earth shaking way that you can’t even begin to understand. Instead, you stare at the tiny cars on the city streets below, snaking their way to destinations that feel so far out of your grasp that they might as well be on a different planet altogether.
*
It’s late when he finally shows up—so late that you’ve actually gotten ready for bed, donning one of the silk nightgowns that had been left for you. You can tell it’s more expensive than any sleepwear you’ve ever owned in your life. You’re just glad that it’s modest—you had half expected to find that all your pajamas were bustiers, thongs, and thigh highs in some sort of ill considered attempt to seduce you. But this is elegant and understated, with a matching robe that you cinch tightly around your waist.
You sit on the couch, the throw still wrapped snugly around you. He looks at you, the corner of his mouth curled up in a slight smirk.
“I hope you don’t intend to stay there the entire night,” he says.
“I hardly know you,” you say before you can even contemplate whether it’s wise.
He looks…amused isn’t quite the right word, but there’s a subtle tilt to the corner of his lips—not quite a smile, but maybe somewhere in the vicinity.
“Give it time,” he says, and something about that makes you shiver.
*
You intend to sleep on the couch, at least for these first few nights when everything still feels so raw and strange.
Or that was your plan, anyway.
Loki doesn’t say anything else as he prepares for bed and you stare resolutely at the window so as not to invite any more conversation or prompt any invitations to join him in bed. Eventually, the lights go out and you are left alone with your thoughts in the dark.
The room is much colder at night.
You’re not sure if it’s on purpose, though you wouldn’t be surprised if it was. Perhaps he likes it like this. Perhaps it’s to lure you to him, to tempt you into seeking out the warmth of his bed and body.
You pull the blanket more tightly around your shoulders. Eventually, you allow your eyes to drift shut.
You wake some time later in the middle of the night. The room feels even colder, the velvet of the throw and the silk of your nightgown and robe a scanty defense against the chill. You burrow against the couch cushions and it’s sort of bearable.
But you also have to pee.
You hold off for as long as you can, but you eventually summon the will to leave the couch and seek out the bathroom.
The bathroom is even colder—perhaps it’s all that glass and marble that makes the difference. You’re wearing your robe and you’ve still got the blanket wrapped around you, but your teeth are chattering by the time you wash your hands. You run the water as hot as you can stand, but it only does so much. If you were braver—if it wasn’t your first night here, you would run an extra hot shower and stay under the spray until your fingers and toes pruned and the chill was chased from your bones.
Instead, you hustle back to the couch, burrowing against the cushions, throw and robe wrapped tightly around you. But you still can’t seem to shake the cold. You huddle on the couch, shivering, trying to calm your body.
Time passes and you don’t grow any warmer. You wonder if you can steal another throw from the bed—surely he won’t miss one—when a voice speaks from the darkness.
“Come to bed,” Loki says.
You clear your throat. “What?”
“I can hear your teeth chattering from here. Come to bed and stop being absurd.”
You hesitate, staring into the dark. You consider the cold, the slight kink in your neck from the way you’ve been sleeping on the couch, the late hour, the way that sleep pulls at your eyes. A bed is appealing. Maybe more appealing than it should be.
You find yourself getting to your feet and slowly making your way across the room.
You pause on the other side of the bed—your side, you suppose, though calling it that still feels too intimate. You can just make him out in the dark.
“You’ll stay on your side,” you say, like making it a statement will make it so.
“Well, you hardly know me.” His voice is clipped, more bitter than you expect as he echoes your words from earlier.
You can’t help but scowl. “I’ve known you for less than twenty-four hours and it’s the middle of the night. I’m not doing this right now.”
He laughs. It’s sharp and brittle and unexpected, but it’s a laugh all the same, and something about that helps, if only a little.
You don’t say anything else as you climb into bed. You find that the blankets are warm—warmer than you expect—and heavy. There’s a part of you that expects yourself to be too nervous and on edge to fully relax, but the coziness of the blankets piled around you is oddly calming, even with Loki mere inches away. You hunker down underneath the blankets, situating yourself on the pillows.
He doesn’t say anything and it’s not long until his breathing becomes steady and even.
And after a while, yours does, too.
*
Consciousness creeps up on you slowly the next morning, a far cry from the jarring alarm on your phone that usually disrupts your slumber. You are warm and cozy, cocooned in the blankets, safe from all of the bullshit that had happened yesterday.
It’s such a peaceful, easy awakening that it takes you a moment to realize that you aren’t alone.
It takes another moment for you to realize that your cheek is pressed against Loki’s chest. And to make matters worse, not only are your arms wrapped around his him, your right leg is also flung across his waist, like you can’t bear to be parted from him for even a moment.
But before the panic sets in, there is a barely perceptible moment where your body just enjoys the feeling of being pressed against him. It’s quick and you’d deny it if asked, but the rush that you get from giving into the pull of your soulbond for even that brief moment is nothing short of incredible.
But it’s just a moment and your mind quickly turns to the matter of extracting yourself without drawing his notice. Ideally, he’ll just stay asleep and you won’t have to deal with any awkward fallout. If you move very slowly and carefully, perhaps he won’t notice.
You carefully start to move your leg from his waist.
“To be clear, you’re on my side of the bed,” he says.
God fucking dammit.
You abandon all subtlety and quickly peel yourself away from him.
“I must have rolled over in my sleep,” you say, incredibly conscious of how stupid that sounds.
He smirks, which is somehow worse than if he’d said anything.
“It won’t happen again,” you say.
It does.
This is your new routine: you start every evening on the couch, wrapped up in your robe and throw. You wake some time in the night, teeth chattering. Sometimes, Loki will tell you to come to bed. Other times, you quietly give up and slip under the covers on your side of the bed.
But every morning without fail, you wake tangled around him.
Sometimes, he’s spooned up behind you; more often, though, you’re the one clinging to him. It’s as though your body has a homing device that leads you over to his side of the bed in your sleep, dutifully ignoring all of your stern warnings about who stays where.
The worst part of it is that you’re fighting your own instincts. On a very basic, physical level, you yearn to be close to him. There’s a part of you that revels in these unintentional moments of closeness, that wants to allow yourself to enjoy the feeling of him, to allow him to put his hands on your body, for you to put your hands on him.
The fact that he wakes up noticeably hard most mornings does not make this any easier.
This is a problem that you’re not entirely sure how to solve and the second week in, your desire for information finally outweighs your desire to avoid social media and the deluge of emails and texts that you know are waiting for you on your phone.
You turn your phone back on and immediately delete all of your social media apps. You don’t know what they’re saying about you and you don’t care to. You turn off all of your notifications, even the little number icons that show you how many unread emails and texts that you have. You want absolutely no distractions.
You open a private browser window and pull up Google.
Newly connected soulbonds are the hormonal equivalent of pouring out a bunch of gasoline and striking a match. Soulbonds are intended to be consummated. You know this. There are people who wait it out for one reason or another, but that’s very much the exception—it’s a physical and emotional test of endurance. And you’re beginning to understand why.
The internet is not very helpful. You already know what happens when you don’t consummate a soulbond promptly—increased arousal, restlessness, vivid dreams, and so on as time goes on. You’re more interested in mitigation. You find a few blogs that have entirely irrelevant suggestions like cuddling on the couch or holding hands. “While you’re waiting for intercourse, why not try some outercourse?” one post muses with a level of earnestness that causes you to immediately turn off your phone and fling it across the room.
You’re going to have sex with him at some point. That’s inevitable. On a very basic level, you want him—it’s more or less coded into your DNA. But that is at odds with the reality of who he is and what he’s done. It might feel good to wake up tangled around him, but it only takes a minute to remember the battle of New York and it nearly extinguishes the desire burning within you.
But only nearly and only for now.
*
The third week is when things start getting increasingly difficult.
Loki seems content to wait things out. You can feel the burn of his gaze on you, but he doesn’t push, doesn’t prod.
You, on the other hand, find yourself slipping into a heightened state of arousal that is becoming impossible to ignore. Midway through the week, you finally give in and try touching yourself in the shower in the hope of some relief and you come so quickly and so hard that you have to clap a hand over your mouth to keep from crying out and your legs very nearly buckle from the force of it. A few twitches of your fingers has you sprawled on the shower floor and coming again, harder than before. You repeat this trick a few times but even as strong as it is, it doesn’t really help—you’re back to where you started within minutes.
Worse though, is the fact that it’s his face that you see when you come. Every. Single. Time. You imagine him over you, his gaze dark and intent as he watches you come; slack jawed and hissing in pleasure as he pushes into you; growling in approval and impatience as you take his cock into your mouth. The images come entirely unbidden and stick in the forefront of your thoughts like a burr clinging to wool.
When you see him later that afternoon, his gaze lands on you in such a way that it feels like he knows everything you’ve done and everything you’ve seen, from that moment in the shower to the shameful thoughts you had as you came.
The dreams start shortly after, and they are objectively worse.
The dreams are far more vivid than just images. In the dreams, he’s touching you, coaxing you to peaks you could never have imagined, pressing into you, taking you hard and fast and achingly slow and everything in between. The dreams leave you out of breath and shaky, aching for a touch that you know that you should not want, but do with every fiber of your being. By some miracle, they only seem to occur while you are on the couch and not when you’re in bed, but that luck won’t hold forever.
Perhaps more importantly, you know it’s only a matter of time before you give in. Deep down, you’ve known this from the moment the mark on your wrist started to burn. Your resistance is eroding like a sandcastle at high tide and it’s only a matter of time before you crumble.
But not yet. Not yet.
*
Five weeks after your arrival, you wake sweating and out of breath from another dream.
You take a few deep breaths. It was similar to the ones you’d had before. Thinking about the details makes your core ache and your clit throb so you try to keep them out of your mind.
You’re half surprised that you’re not tangled around Loki, given the content and subject of your dream, but that makes sense when you realize he’s not in bed. Instead, he sits on the couch, staring into the middle distance. Perhaps he is struggling with the same kinds of dreams.
The idea of you making Loki too hot and bothered to sleep is more appealing than you’d like to admit. You hastily dismiss the thought before it can bring any more heat to your already too warm skin or add more fuel to the flickering desire that seems to have settled permanently in the cradle of your hips.
You slip out of bed and go to the window, folding your arms across your stomach as you stare out at the sleeping city.
“You were calling out in your sleep.”
More heat prickles at your skin.
“Hm,” you say, trying your best to sound casual.
“What were you dreaming of?” he asks.
He’s only asking because he already knows the answer. You know this. But the lie still slips from your lips: “I don’t remember.”
He laughs, a quiet and dangerous sound that stokes the fire in your belly. “Have you forgotten, darling, that I am the god of lies?”
You can hear him walking toward you, but you keep your back turned. Has the room always been this warm?
He waits until he is directly behind you to speak again. “Will you lie again when I ask if you were dreaming of me?” His voice is so close, full of depth and a little husky. 
“You flatter yourself,” you say.
You can hear the smirk in his voice, feel the whisper of his breath on your neck. “You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you?” He pauses for a moment. “But you were calling out for me.”
Your lips are dry. You want to deny it, but it feels useless. Worst case scenario, he’s still mostly right: you were dreaming of him and you can’t even really deny crying out for him because you were asleep and you don’t know for sure.
“It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” he continues. His voice drops. “Every time I close my eyes, I see you writhing in pleasure beneath me.” He pauses. “Or I see myself between your legs, worshiping you with my mouth, bringing you to ecstasy over and over before I finally take you.”
Your heart is pounding and every nerve in your body feels as though it’s connected directly to your clit. You are warm—too warm—and you can feel your pulse pounding in your throat.
“What were you dreaming of?” he continues, his voice barely a murmur.
“Nothing,” you say.
He clicks his tongue. “Try again, darling.”
You say nothing and after a moment of silence, he seems to decide that it’s time to switch strategies.
“You must be so wet,” he murmurs, his tone low and soothing.
Your stomach and your cunt clench. If he starts talking dirty to you, it’s over.
“We’re not meant to go this long like this,” he says. “We both know that. It’s been five weeks. Your poor cunt is probably aching for me, just as I ache for you.”
Your breath is coming in shaky gasps. You need him. You can feel your resolve starting to slip.
“Yield to me.” His voice is rough with wanting, like this is just as hard for him as it is for you. “I know you feel it. I feel it, too. You yearn for me, you crave my touch. Let me make you feel good, darling, let me ease that ache. Yield and I will give you everything.”
You draw in a shaking breath and slowly turn to face him. He’s looking at you with an intensity that you expect, but it takes your breath away nonetheless.
The remnants of your resistance are lost to the wave of him and the only thing that’s left in its place is a raw need like you’ve never experienced before.
You don’t know what to say, so in the end, you settle for his name. Just his name, said quietly with all the desperation and longing that has been making your life hell these past few weeks.
You get a glimpse of the fire in his eyes before he’s on you.
There’s nothing gentle about this kiss. It’s the kiss of two people who have been deprived of each other for too long, your teeth bumping against each other, tongues twisting and tangling. You end up pressed against the wall next to the window, your leg wrapped around his waist, his hand supporting your thigh. He presses his hips against you and you moan into his mouth at the feeling of his hard cock dragging against your swollen, sensitive clit. He draws back slightly to look at your face as he slowly grinds his hips against yours, his free hand moving to palm your breast over the silk of your nightgown.
You moan again, your head dropping back against the wall. The soft, slippery friction of the silk of your nightgown against your nipple and the soaked lace of your underwear rubbing against your clit is enough to make you go cross eyed, a slow tease that only fans the burning embers within you. Your body is overheated and too tense, but Loki is blessedly cool in a way that somehow both soothes and inflames.
“You’re drenched. I can already feel that,” he says, his voice thick with desire as he moves against you. “I could make you come like this.”
You whimper, rocking your hips back against him. “Please.”
He shakes his head. “Another time. Tonight I want to feel you when you come.” He drops his hand from your breast, trailing down your stomach and moving in between your legs. His fingers slip beneath your underwear, and you let out a needy whine as he strokes the slick folds of your sex. “Is this all for me?” he asks, his voice slipping into a low growl.
You barely manage a breathy affirmative.
“Sweet thing.” His thumb rolls over your clit as he slides one finger into you, and your back arches automatically, your breasts jutting out. “We’re going to have to do something about this, aren’t we?”
“Please,” you breathe.
“How can I resist such a sweet plea?” he says, sliding another finger into you and curling it just so. “Or such a wet and needy cunt?”
“Don’t stop,” you say.
“I ought to make you beg me for it after everything you put me through.” His eyes darken as his thumb presses against your clit and you moan. “But perhaps I can be generous. I can feel how much you need to come on my fingers.”
You nod, slack jawed and panting.
“You’ve been waiting for this,” he murmurs. “You’ve tried to deny yourself, but you need me, you need my touch.”
You whimper, your hips rocking.
“Say it,” he says, stroking your clit.
“I need to come,” you moan.
“A good start,” he says, his voice a stern purr. “But not quite what I asked, my love. Try again.”
A twinge of irritation manages to work its way to the forefront of your mind. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not exactly in a state to be playing twenty questions.”
His eyes light up with a predatory gleam that heralds the arrival of something that you know will end enjoyably for you.
“Oh, darling, that attitude won’t do at all.” His fingers are immediately and conspicuously absent and you very nearly cry out in frustration. But before you can, he is sweeping you into his arms and making the journey to the bed in several long strides. He sets you gently on the bed and looms over you, green eyes flashing as his hands stroke up your thighs. You lift your hips and he pulls your underwear off, tossing it to the side.
“Let’s try that again, shall we?” His voice is a growl. “Tell me what you need.”
“I need to come.” You know it’s the wrong answer, but this particular game of cat and mouse and the predatory gleam in Loki’s eyes are making you even wetter and god, you need him.
His eyes flash with a barely concealed delight. “Try again.”
You spread your legs rather conspicuously, hiking your nightgown up to your waist. “I need to come.”
He’s looking at you intently, lips slightly parted. “You’re trying to distract me with that pretty cunt, you wicked thing.”
“Is it working?” you ask.
He lowers his head to kiss the inside of your left knee. “It would work much better if you answered me properly and told me everything you need.”
You think you have an idea of what he wants to hear, but you’re not quite ready to give up the game yet. Instead, you pull your nightgown up and over your head and toss it to the side. His eyes are dark as he looks at you, his gaze lingering on your breasts and trailing down to the apex of your spread legs. You wonder what it would take to make him lose control, to take you in the way that you both need.The thought sends another flood of heat to your aching core. 
You lick your lips. “Will you make me come, Loki?”
Another wolfish grin. “Closer. But not quite. Try again.”
You let your hand slide down your stomach and between your legs and you part your sopping folds so he can see the full extent of what he’s done to you—every dripping inch. The look he’s giving you now only heightens the feeling.
“Should I make myself come?” you ask and you’re immediately rewarded with an almost feral look and a sharp smack to your ass.
“Don’t you dare,” he growls.
You put on your most innocent expression, even as his visible hunger makes you ache. “I thought you’d like seeing me touch myself.”
“Oh, there will be time for that later,” he says, his eyes still dark. “I’m particularly interested in seeing what prompted those intriguing little noises I kept hearing while you were in the shower. But every tremor of pleasure that wracks your body tonight will be from me alone. Now,” his eyes glitter and his hand replaces yours on your cunt, his long fingers spreading you open, but not touching you, his expression rapt with undisguised greed, “tell me what you need.”
Your capacity to tease and resist him was well and truly exceeded when he smacked your ass and was further obliterated by the monologue he just delivered. “I need you to make me come, Loki. I need you so bad.”
His smile is filled with dark promises and a hunger that you have every interest in sating several times over.
“Good girl,” he says.
And his fingers slide back into you as his mouth envelopes your aching clit.
You moan as your hips lift and your hands tangle in his hair. He mumbles something that sounds like “perfect�� against your clit, first teasing you with the tip of his tongue and then pressing it flat against you and rubbing in slow circles. Meanwhile, his fingers have found that soft, aching spot inside of you and he presses against it in slow, firm thrusts that make you tremble.
You initially think that you’ll be quite quick to come because you’re already so wound up, but Loki seems determined to find the edge and keep you there for as long as possible—and he’s really, really good at it. He falls into a rhythm where his tongue strokes your clit once, twice, three times and withdraws; his fingers pick up the thread, stroking your walls once, twice, three times and withdrawing, only for his tongue to resume where he left off. In this way, he keeps you balanced on the edge in a perfect kind of torture. It feels so good, but it’s not quite enough to get you there just yet.
You make liberal use of his name—it’s a plea, a curse, a benediction, a moan, a sigh. Instinctively, you know that he likes this, but it’s not enough to distract him into letting you fall even a moment before he wants you to.
The ache that’s been building in your hips for the last couple weeks is growing, burning bright and warm. Your body feels electric in the best way, your nerves humming and buzzing and straining for release.
“Loki,” you moan, partly as encouragement and partly because you want him so badly.
You’re so close. Your entire body is tense and trembling; all you can think about is how badly you need to come, how much you are aching for your release.
So close.
“Loki, please,” you moan, truly desperate now. “Please let me come. Make me yours—”
You’re not sure if it’s what you said, the desperation in your voice, or pure coincidence, but in that moment, he shifts his rhythm so that his mouth and fingers are no longer alternating, but are instead moving in sync. And this is what you need to tip you over, to allow that wave to finally, finally crest and then break.
Your orgasm hits you hard, pulling a loud moan from deep within your chest and making your entire body quake. Sparklers are dancing along your veins, champagne bubbles fizzing along your muscles, stars bursting behind your eyes. You have never felt anything like this before—you are satisfied but also aching for more, falling apart and being remade over and over again.
It’s only when you’re decidedly in the blissful wave of the aftershocks that he dares to lift his head and he looks you over like you’re something wonderful. Before you can raise your hands to reach for him, he’s crawling up to you, claiming your mouth in a kiss that feels deeper than the ocean.
He slides his hand in between your legs and you whimper, shivering at the sensation of his thumb stroking your sensitive clit. But somehow, he finds that particular angle and pressure that’s just enough, but not too much. You moan and he slides a finger back into you, rolling in the same rhythm as his thumb on your clit.
“That’s it,” he murmurs. “Keep going for me, darling. I want to watch you come this time.” His voice is so firm and authoritative and it strikes sparks up and down your spine.
“Fuck,” you gasp, your hips rocking with his hand.
“You’re doing so well getting ready for me,” he purrs. He lowers his voice to a rough growl. “I can’t wait to fuck you until you’re trembling and coming all over my cock like the wicked, filthy girl that you are.”
It’s the combination of his words and his voice and his perfect hands that does it this time. A rolling, fluttering shudder fizzes through your body, building to a peak that has you letting out a guttural moan as you clench around his thrusting fingers.
“Yes, that’s it,” Loki says as he watches you through hooded eyes. “You are gorgeous when you come undone.”
He kisses you slowly, fingers moving steadily until the final shudder rolls through you.
Somehow, through all of this, he’s remained fully clothed. There’s an aspect to this that’s appealing—it makes everything feel particularly decadent and a little forbidden—but your palms are practically itching with your need to touch him. You need him inside you, but you also need him close, bare skin on bare skin.
Your hands sneak under his shirt and you suck in a sharp breath when you feel the heat of his skin underneath your palms. You tug his shirt off him and make quick work of his pants before drawing back to look at him.
He looks like art. It’s a silly thought, but there’s some truth to it—there’s an almost ethereal quality in the sharp angles of his face and the elegant symmetry of his musculature. 
Your gaze drifts down to his cock. He’s long, thick, and hard, the tip flushed and slick with pre-come. An ache courses through you—something about seeing the full evidence of his arousal makes everything seem more real, makes you want him with renewed ferocity.
You want to touch him and so you do, your fingers curling around his shaft.
“Can you feel how much I need you?” he asks as you stroke him slowly. He is remarkably composed, though you catch the slight hitch in his breath and it sends a thrill through you.
“Will you show me?” you ask.
“Every day,” he says.
It’s an answer you’re not expecting. You were speaking strictly in the immediate, physical sense. This feels deeper, more meaningful. You’re not quite sure what to say, so you kiss him and he kisses you back with an intensity and thoroughness that makes your toes curl.
He rolls over you, his body covering yours. It’s almost overwhelming how good his bare skin feels against yours. You take his cock in your hand again and stroke him, slowly rubbing the tip from your clit to your entrance, coating him in your slick.
You expect him to just push forward when you guide him to your entrance and you’re almost disappointed that he doesn’t—you’ve both waited so long for this and your need for him is burning inside you like an inferno.
But instead he pauses, his eyes locked with yours.
“Will you have me?” he asks. There’s vulnerability in the question, a softness in his green eyes that you don’t expect. It feels like a loaded question, though not necessarily in a bad way.
You don’t hesitate. “Yes,” you breathe.
Something like relief flashes briefly in his eyes before he leans in and kisses you. You tilt your hips up again and this time, you feel the blunt head of his cock slowly press into your waiting warmth.
You’d read people describing first times with their soulmates and it had always sounded so hyperbolic and silly. They’d throw around words like euphoric and transcendent and all you could do was try not to roll your eyes.
But the moment Loki is fully seated inside you, you finally get it. Every overwrought, overused cliché seems to occur to you all at once—puzzle pieces falling into place and locks and keys and halves made whole and all that bullshit—and it all makes sense in a way that it hadn’t before.
Loki’s eyes are stormy above you, to the point that you think you may have angered him, but then he kisses you with a ferocity and possessiveness that steals your breath and makes you tighten around him.
“Mine,” he growls against your lips. “Mine.”
There’s a lot of emotion in that word. There’s history in that word. It’s the sort of thing that the two of you will probably need to unpack later. For now, though, you wrap your legs around him and meet his demanding, hungry kisses with your own.
“I’m yours,” you murmur against his lips. “Take me.”
You expect him to respond to that plea with a frantic pace. But instead, his first thrusts are slow, like he’s savoring it. Your body yields to him instinctively, your muscles drawing him in and then tightening further as he withdraws. You are so slick, so ready for him that it almost feels a little obscene.
“You are exquisite,” he rasps as he sinks into you, his head bowing to kiss and nip at your neck. “I have been aching for you.”
“Yes,” you breathe. “Please.”
You’re not entirely sure what you’re asking for—more of this, more of him—but he seems to know anyway. He kisses you deeply as you wrap your legs around his waist, rolling your hips up to meet his.
In one fluid motion, he rolls you over so that you are on top. He looks up at you, an irrepressible smirk curling at the corners of his lips.
“Go on,” he says, his voice low. “I want to see you take your pleasure from me. Claim your throne, my love.”
A shiver works its way up your spine. This is a man who single-handedly conquered the entire planet and he’s telling you he wants you to ride his cock until you come. It is raw and sexy and undeniably hot and the way he’s looking up at you makes you feel beautiful and powerful.
You lean forward, bracing your hands on the mattress, tilting your pelvis until you find the right angle, the one that makes your stomach tighten and your breath stutter. 
A smile twitches at the corners of his mouth. “Right there?”
You let out a shaky breath and rock your hips. “Yeah.”
It takes a moment for you to find your rhythm, but you find that you want—or perhaps need—to go slow and steady. Loki watches you, his hips rocking with yours as he lets you set the pace, his hands sliding from your hips to your breasts and back again, like he can’t get enough. His gaze is intent and intense and you get the sense that he’s cataloging every movement, every gasp or sigh, furrowed brow or bitten lip.
The coil in your hips is starting to wind tighter and you know it won’t be long. 
As though he knows, Loki slides a hand down your body, palm gently pressing against your lower stomach. A fantastic pressure begins to blossom in your hips and you whimper.
“You’re doing so well,” he purrs. “So tight and wet. You’re perfect.”
“Getting close,” you breathe.
“I know, I can feel you,” he says.
You’re at a point somewhere beyond words, riding that wave, chasing bliss that you can almost feel. A choked whimper falls from your lips.
“That’s it,” rasps Loki. “Be a good girl and come on my cock.” He flicks his thumb against your clit and you completely unravel.
It was good the first two times, but having him inside you as you come sends you to another plane of existence entirely. Your orgasm seems extended, the feeling of his cock against the spasming muscles of your cunt creating more even rippling pleasure. And the noise that he makes, the filthy praise that falls from his lips, the way that his fingertips dig into your hips just makes it all better.
He rolls you over onto your back just as you’re starting to feel boneless, and pulls you into a deep kiss.  He thrusts into you, a little faster than the pace you had set, but still slow and steady.
“I want to feel you come again,” he breathes. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited for this, how good you feel?”
You shudder as his cock drags again against that spot inside you. He repeats the motion and you keen, tangling your fingers in his hair.
“That’s it,” he rasps, bringing your leg up over his hip to press even more deeply inside of you. “Come on, darling. Let me feel you.”
You wrap your arms around his neck, meeting his hungry, demanding kiss with your own. You roll your hips with his, chasing the flickers of bliss that he’s steadily stoking to an inferno once more.
“Please,” you mumble against his lips. “Need you. Please.”
He groans and increases his pace just enough to make you whimper. The desire inside of you is catching fire.
“I…fuck, I—” Your hands are gripping his shoulders, your body shaking as you approach your end.
Loki’s eyes are wild, his teeth bared. You can tell that he’s close, that he’s chasing the same incredible feeling that you are.
“I want you to come for me,” he grits out. “And the second I feel your tight cunt start to tremble around me, I’m going to come inside you.
You moan, fingernails digging into his shoulders. You are unbearably close.
“Do you want that, darling?” he says. “Do you want me to come inside you? Do you want your perfect cunt filled with my seed?”
You are almost beyond words, but not quite: “Yes. Please.”
Despite how close he is, he still gives the impression of being entirely in control. He lowers his head so that his lips graze yours and his eyes are all that you can see. “Then come for me,” he says.
Two more deadly smooth rolls of his hips and you do. A guttural, plaintive sound falls from your lips as your whole body trembles with the force of your orgasm, your cunt squeezing around the girth of his cock. He groans, mumbling something in a language you don’t recognize before he, too, starts to unravel.
His face is rapturous when he comes, his head tipping back and his mouth falling open, brow furrowing. If you weren’t so distracted with the rippling shocks of your own pleasure, you would try to commit it to memory. Instead, you simply try to enjoy the feeling of him emptying himself inside of you, the stuttering thrust of his hips, the soft groan that falls from his lips. Finally he stills, resting his head in the crook of your shoulder. You can feel his heart pounding against yours.
You feel…it’s not different, exactly, but there’s a kind of ease and connection that just feels right. The restless ache inside of you is finally quiet and you feel loose and languid and pleasantly sleepy.
Finding your soulmate isn’t necessarily the same as falling in love. Sometimes it all happens in the moment. Sometimes it’s years in between.
For you, though, you can pinpoint the exact moment that seed was planted: Loki raising his head to look at you, his hand curled against your cheek. His gaze is careful, reverent, like you are as warm and golden as the dawn just barely beginning to streak the morning sky.
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lady-ashfade · 4 months
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soulmate au with percy and reader. i was thinking like reader is like a complete nobody at camp and the daughter of some not really known god. percy and reader meet by accident and they figure out they are soulmates. percy at first didn’t want anything to do with it because he had feelings for annabeth but comes around.
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Percy Jackson x Fem!reader. (Soulmate au)
-£ Pictured a older version of book Percy, but imagine them staying a camp or coming late.
-£ words: 1.5 words
-£ warnings: Angst, rejection, jealousy, I love annabeth, percy being mean? Idk. Anyway kinda short. What can I say, I love a man with dark hair who has sass?🤷‍♀️
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“Do you ever wonder who you’re soulmates is?” percy sat on the log near the cliff looking over the sunset. annabeth keeping her eyes on the forest below, smiling softly as the orange sun hit her skin.
“I’m not worried about it, they will come to me when the time is right.” she replied with a calm voice.
percy could help himself from looking down at her hand and slowly inching his hand near hers. the marking was just late. he knew that she was his soulmate. how could she not be after everything they went through? besides no one knew him like she did.
fate is a funny thing.
because the person who was chosen to be his, and his alone wasn’t the girl he sat next to. it was you. you barely had any contact with percy. never even spiking a word to each other and yet the world still twined you together.
looking back on it he wished he reacted in a nicer way then he did. anything other then what he did, even faint.
he was running a pile of arrows to the archery training ground when he ran into you. as soon as your eyes met the world was slow for just a second and colors shined brighter then they did. in that moment you both felt something that was more then the gods. something even the gods can’t touch.
“woah,” you whisper with your hands still held onto the arrows he was trying to give to you. his hands didn’t stop clinching onto the wood, he couldn’t believe it.
you blink at him for him to do something other then stand there and stare with a open mouth. sure this type of thing wasn’t normal but he didn’t even move a inch.
but you wished he had stayed quiet, “Look, I um..” he let go of the things you two shared and took a step back with hasted.
“I have to run.” you watched him run off like there was nothing important to keep him here.
At first you thought that he was just shy, in shock, and didn’t know what to say. but you soon figured out he wanted nothing to do with you. you followed him around and tried to talk to him at every chance you got but he would always slip from your fingers.
cornering him in the woods at night wasn’t the best idea but you had but there was not other choice. it didn’t feel good to have your soulmate avoid you.
“There is a mistake.” his voice echoed through the woods, “I feel nothing for you. I am sure you are amazing, but you are not my soulmate.”
he watched the tears pool into your eyes like the waves he controlled. taking a step back from the news from his lips that crushed your soul. “I am in love with another.”
Licking your lips you roll your eyes to try and stop the tears forming. “it’s annabeth isn’t it?” he couldn’t deny it even if he wanted to. the silence he gave when he opened his mouth but nothing came out told you everything you needed to know.
“I do hope you live a happy life,” you walked closer to him only inches away, “especially when she finds her soulmate.” you walked past him and down the dirt path back to your cabin where you broke down.
fate was twisted and cruel for giving you him.
day and night you thought about him. and day and night you got worse. everyone could see the toll of being rejected but no one new by who. not a soul knew about you and percy and you honestly liked it that way. no pity glances when they hung out together. 
soulmate depression was a serious thing and could lead one down to a never reversible illness. your eyes lost their light, no one ever saw you smile, looking as dead like as possible. every positive feeling in your body was drained out.
annabeth looked over at you at diner time as you stared at the plate in front of you, sitting at the edge of the bench. “It’s terrible,” she said and picked at her food with a fork. “I hope they come around.”
the trio stared at you in pity, one of them feeling guilt. “It’s a really bad case, I feel so bad.” Grover looked sad as he almost cried himself. love was supposed to be for real, that’s what soulmates were for! If he had one he would never let them get like that.
Percy found himself studying the girl. Her hair messy, her face grime and eyes blank and darker then the last time he looked in them. And Percy was the cause.
“Yeah,” the black hairy boy turned and poked at his food.
It has been week since then and a weight sunk in his stomach when he thought of you, which was almost every moment now. He thought about how you would smile before and how he wanted to see that again. He really thought he liked annabeth but each day that feeling went away.
Maybe he could think things over. But how could he apologize? Would you still want him?
But as Percy thought over the war in his head you moved on. Or as much as you could. there was a sickness in your body but you tried to fight it and spent time with your friends.
one boy took you in quickly. the two of you now glued at the hip and he was the only one who seemed to make you smile now.
“Dude,” Grover knocked his shoulder with his own, “What did he do to you?”
The son of Poseidon darted his eyes lowly at some boy. The way you smiled ever so sweetly like he has been wishing to see for weeks but this- This guy could cause it easily. And those small laughed he could hear so faintly in his ears.
“Nothing.” Percy stated while still glaring at the guy heavily.
the satyr nodded but lingered his eyes on his friend for a few seconds. clearly not believing him one bit.
“I have to tell you something,” he pulled his eyes away from you and to his friend. Guilt covering his face. “You know how y/n got reflected by her soulmate?” his voice shaky.
“Of course, it was hard to watch.” He answered. It didn’t take long for him to connect the dots when Percy lifted his brows as a sign. Grover gasped loudly.
“You did- Oh my god’s. How could you?” His mouth was then covered by Percy as he shh’d him.
Percy took a big breath as he held his hand over his mouth, “I’m not proud of it. It was just, I didn’t feel like we could be. I thought me and annabeth were soulmates until they came along,” he turned his eyes back to your direction to find you laughing slightly with your friends.
“I was terribly wrong.”
As much as Grover was mad at his friend he could see the guilt and regret on his face. He helped him come up with a plan, and gave him a very long lecture about love. Annabeth found out, and cursed him out. Saying that the marks don’t lie and was overly upset he could do that for her.
it took a week of long work for him to build up the courage to finally talk to you.
lucky he knew exactly where you would be. in the same stop he saw you for the first time as his soulmate. In the training grounds. You had been walking back to your cabin looking as beautiful as always even with your gloomy change.
you had a basket in your hand. you hummed quietly and kept your eyes on the dirt path underneath your feet. you were too out of it to hear him walking from behind you. “Y/n.” He called your name.
turning around startled you are met with him smiling at you. the boy who broke your heart standing there with a warm smile on his face as if he didn’t do anything wrong.
“Percy.” You whisper and step back. “I um…Do you need something?” you were shaking almost.
He got closer slowly as he got more awkward by the second, “can we talk?” you were hesitant to expect his offer but you nodded.
“I want to apologize for rejecting you. I felt horrible watching you- Well, get like this.” He kept getting closer and you didn’t know if you should run away or scream at him.
“I was wrong. You are the girl for me.” He saw the tears flood in the corner of your eyes and your lips tremble
“you think that’s enough?” you didn’t yell but he could sense the harsh tone in your voice. And you have that right.
“No, not really.” his frowns. Knowing he needed to do more.
“But I’m willing to work as hard as I need to. If you will have me?”
His green eyes filled with sorrow. the feeling to leave him here, with nothing like he did to you. But you couldn’t. You felt better in his presence as he looked at you.
“I’ll allow it, but we take this slow.” All he could do was smile again and nod his head in understanding.
even if you didn’t trust him. he healed your heart in the matter of seconds.
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thatsmzbitchtoyou · 3 months
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My Alpha
This is kind of a long one shot (5619 words!), but I thought I'd try my hand at the ABO!/Omegaverse. Hope you like it!
Being an omega wasn’t always a bad thing.  At least that’s what she told herself repeatedly as she religiously took hormone blocking birth control pills and wore scent blockers on the daily.  Y/N hadn’t had a heat in years and wasn’t planning on letting up any time soon.  She had started working as a personal assistant for the Avengers under Tony Stark years before, going through the Sokovia Accords debacle, surviving the Blip, losing Natasha, Tony, Steve, T'Challa, and all the other strange and traumatic things that happened during her tenure.  She had denied her biology to get this job, not wanting it to affect her performance or be a target while being surrounded by literal super Alphas in this field.  And as hard as the job was, she loved it.
One of the greatest highlights was gaining Bucky Barnes as a friend.  While other Alphas she had come across were domineering, he was compassionate and kind.  He very rarely lost his composure like others did during high pressure situations in missions, and never fought over who was in charge.  He was incredibly careful to make sure everyone around him felt comfortable in his presence.  After finally shaking the Winter Soldier programming he didn’t want to ever lose control of himself again, and with the super soldier serum messing with his hormones to the extent that he was nearly feral during ruts, he would isolate himself away to keep her and others safe.  
Y/N felt like she could talk to him about anything, and he felt the same.  She was his sanctuary after rough missions, one of the few people that could break him out of a deep depressive state or the nightmares that still plagued him.  He knew she was an Omega but could barely smell her because of her blockers, which he both loved and hated.  Loved because it made it so they could be friends without the weird biological dynamics getting in the way, and hated because he was super curious about what her scent was.  They had fallen for each other long ago, but were both too afraid to do anything about it.
As they both relaxed during a rare weekend off they got on the topic of Omega versus Alpha traits.  “I get it, Alphas can be rough, but don’t you want to mate someday?  Find someone special to settle down with?  Maybe have a family?”
She sighed.  “Of course I do, Buck.”
“Then what are you afraid of?” he asked gently.
“Not having a clear choice,” she answered simply, giving him a sharp look.  “I don’t want my biology to decide my fate.  So many Omegas get stuck being mated with bad Alphas because their heats were uncontrollable and the Alpha wouldn’t take no for an answer.  I know that I’m predestined to be a nurturer.  Hell, that’s what my job is now, taking care of all of you guys!  But I should get to choose who I end up with based on love, not by body’s reactions.” Bucky nodded in understanding, looking down at his intertwined hands.  “Do you want to settle down someday?”
“Yeah,” he said quietly.  “I just don’t know how it would work out.  This job…my past.  It all points towards disaster at any given time.”
She slid over to him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders awkwardly as she sat next to him.  “You deserve a happy ever after, Bucky.”
“You do, too, you know,” he reminded her, resting his head on top of hers.
“Mmh, maybe someday,” she said wistfully as she undid her embrace and leaned back against the couch.
“So, anyways,” he cleared his throat.  “Is it true that Omegas have a better sense of smell than Alphas or Betas?  Like you can pick up on others’ scents and identify them really well?”
She laughed.  “Yes, it’s true.”
“Really?  Okay, what does…” he scanned the room as other Avengers milled in and out.  “Peter.  What does Spidey smell like?” He tested her, watching her expectantly.
She took a look at Peter across the room, her nose slightly flaring as she took in a whiff from his direction.  “He always smells like fresh bagels to me.  You know the smell of just-baked bread?  Kinda like that.  Mixed with a little bit of hazelnut.”
Bucky looked at her in awe.  “Yeah I kinda get that off of him.  Alphas can smell and track scents but not to that level.”
“Hm, that’s interesting,” she said as her eyebrows furrowed.  
“Now how about Sam?” he asked excitedly, hoping it would be something not so pleasant he could tease him about.
“Ha, Sam is Cajun seasoning with a sweet lemony undertone.  Like really well done seafood,” she answered quickly with a smile on her face, knowing Bucky would be disappointed in that answer.
Bucky frowned as he thought about who to ask of next.  “Okay, how about…Steve?” He knew it was a long shot.  Steve had been gone for a few years now, so she probably wouldn’t remember.  But she gave him a soft smile.
“Steve was smoky, like fireworks.  A summer night that ends with warm apple crisp and melting vanilla ice cream on top,” she said as she stared out the window, a dazed look in her eyes as she remembered him.
“Wow…” Bucky whispered.  “I always got the fireworks, and something like a picnic.  But now that you say it, yeah, apple with vanilla.”
“Yep, he was truly all American,” she winked at him.
He laughed as he turned towards her on the couch.  “How about, um…me?”
She gazed at him, her expression softening as her nose flared again and she huffed out the breath she’d taken.  “Smoky, like Steve, but different.”
“Like gunpowder?” he asked suddenly, his eyes searching hers.  He had been told that before and was hoping they were wrong.
“No, not gunpowder.  More like…” she sniffed again but frowned.  “Do you mind if I…?” she gestured her finger from herself to him.
“Yeah, go ahead,” he said, opening himself up for her to scoot closer to him.  She leaned in towards his neck, the best place to scent someone, and breathed in a slow sniff of him.  She closed her eyes.
“Campfire.  A campfire on the beach.  And the smell of the ocean after it rains,” she said resolutely, opening her eyes to look at him.  Their faces were close as he stared at her.  “But no, not gunpowder,” she reassured him.
“That’s good,” he breathed, his eyes shifting from her eyes down to her lips and back.
Her eyes suddenly widened, her brow furrowing and she pulled herself away quickly.  “I, um…I need to go…excuse me,” she said hurriedly before she jumped off the couch and power-walked down the hall towards her room.
“Wait, Y/N, are you okay?” Bucky stood from the couch as he watched her leave.
“Yeah!  I’ll talk to you later!” she yelled back without looking, her voice sounded strained.
“What the hell?” he asked himself quietly, looking around him like something had jumped out and spooked her.
Once she was out of sight she ran to her room and had Friday bolt the door.  She doubled over in pain and clutched her stomach.  “No way,” she moaned as she reached for her phone and called for help.
“Hey you, how are ya?” Bruce asked when he answered the call.
“Bruce,” her voice was pained as she held in another moan.  “I need help, something’s wrong.”
“What?  What’s going on?” he sounded worried, the rustling of papers and beeping from a screen by him going off.
“It feels…like a heat?  But that’s not possible, right?  We made sure of it,” she grunted as another cramp shot through her abdomen, and just as suddenly as it all started, it suddenly stopped, leaving her gasping.  “Wait, now it stopped?  What the hell is happening?”
“Come down to the lab, right now.  We’ll get you tested.”
She didn’t need to be told twice as she hung up and crept out of her room towards the elevator.  She was able to get in and down to the lab a few floors away without being caught by Bucky or anybody else.  She ran into the lab in a panic.  Bruce was already setting up the medical bay in the back with everything needed to do a check-up, some vials next to the other instruments.
“Hey, let’s take some blood and see what’s going on,” he called out to her when he heard the doors slide open.  She jogged to the bed and hopped up on it, taking off her cardigan so he could access the veins in her arm better.  After a quick routine check up he took a few vials of her blood then stepped out towards all the equipment he had for medical and scientific tests.  
He worked silently as she sat there deep in thought.  It can’t be, she tried to reassure herself.  I’ve been so careful.  Not missed a single pill ever.  This can’t be happening.  After about an hour Bruce came back with a screen in his hand, his eyebrows hung low over his eyes and a frown on his face.
“Y/N, it’s…it’s not working anymore,” he said softly, his eyes sad and confused as he looked at her.
“What do you mean?” she asked hesitantly, her eyes widening.
“The hormone blockers, the pills…your body isn’t responding to them anymore.  Your hormones are syncing back to normal Omega levels.  Your heats are going to come back.”
“No, no no no no no…NO Bruce!  I can’t.  Please, there’s gotta be another pill to try, a shot, an implant, something?  Anything, please?” she began to cry.  
“I’m sorry Y/N.  We already got you the best blockers that are available out there.  If your body is weaning off of them it means your biology is taking over, probably because you’re getting older and it’s fighting back to have a chance at mating.  I’m so sorry,” he showed her the hormone levels on a chart on the screen, pointing out the differences and then setting it down.  “There’s nothing I can do.  Nothing you can do but prepare yourself for it to start again.  And your first one is probably going to be brutal after avoiding them for so long.  You’ll need help–”
“NO!  No, I can’t do this.  I can’t ask some random Alpha for help.  This isn’t fair!” she cried harder, hiding her face in her hands.  Bruce patted her on the back, trying to help ease her pain by giving off a calming scent.  He was also an Omega and knew how much this meant to her.  
“It will be alright, Y/N.  You have friends here who will help you without making it awkward between you and them, or won’t immediately try mating with you during your heat.  They’re good Alphas.  They won’t hurt you or take advantage of you,” he promised.
She tried to calm the loud beating of her heart that was wringing in her ears, a panic attack trying to settle deep in her bones that she was fighting back.  “How long do I have until it comes?” she sighed as she sniffled.
“I don’t know, I’m sorry.  With it being so long since you last had one it could be next week or it could be in a couple of months,” he answered gravely.
“Ugh, great,” she laughed as she wiped her tears away.  “No choice, whatsoever.  My body ultimately got to decide for me after all.  Wonderful,” she spat as she jumped down off the bed.  “Thank you, Bruce, for testing.  I just…I need to go sleep this off, I don’t know,” she said, giving him a quick hug and then leaving the lab.  
She took the elevator back up to her floor, her eyes stinging from the hot tears still slowly falling down.  Her heat was coming back, and with a vengeance.  She would need help.  Who would she ask?  Any of the unmated superhero Alphas would probably say yes, though she knew she only wanted one.  But how could she ask this of him?  And if he did help, how could she go on with their friendship as if nothing had happened between them afterwards?
The elevator opened and she trudged into the common room.  The floor was already dark as twilight set in and everyone had split off to their rooms.  She slipped into the kitchen since she missed dinner while down in the lab to grab something to eat, although she wasn’t particularly hungry.  As she made herself a sandwich she turned to grab a knife then saw a figure in the corner at the dining table.
“Jesus!  Fuck, Bucky you scared me,” she gasped, holding a hand over her heart.
“Sorry, honey,” he grunted as he sat watching her.  “Why are you crying?”
She stiffened as she looked at him, trying to act nonchalant as she grabbed the knife and turned back to her sandwich.  “I’m not, I’m just tired,” she waved him off, quickly cutting the sandwich and putting the ingredients and dishes away to escape.
“Don’t lie to me Y/N.  What’s wrong?” he stood, walking towards her.  She reached for the refrigerator door to get a drink, which he quickly shut and stared her down.  She wouldn’t look him in the eye.
“Come on Buck, I just need a drink,” she complained as she tried to open the door again, reaching for the handle.  Bucky grabbed her wrist firmly and leaned in towards her.
“What’s wrong Y/N?  You ran away earlier and now you smell…off,” he said, searching her eyes as his nose flared at the scent she was radiating.  His frown deepened and his eyes looked worried.  “Why are you afraid?  Was it me?  Did I do something wrong?”
“No!  Oh no, Bucky, it’s not you,” she said, her eyes widening.  “It’s me, it’s just…” her eyes welled up with tears again, spilling onto her cheeks as she sucked in a sharp breath.  “It’s me,” she sobbed, leaning forward til her forehead rested against his chest.
“Oh honey,” Bucky sighed.  He put his hands under her armpits and lifted her onto the counter so she was eye level with him.  She wrapped her arms around his neck and hid her face in his shoulder, crying harder as he enveloped her, his hands rubbing up and down her back as he whispered reassuring words to her.  They sat holding each other for a while, Bucky letting her cry it out and Y/N relishing the comfort.  As her cries died down and her grip loosened around his neck he pulled back.
“Tell me what’s wrong, please?  You’re breaking an old man’s heart,” he pleaded, hating to see her hurting so much.
Y/N chuckled at him calling himself an old man as she wiped her nose with her sleeve.  Bucky held her face in his hands and wiped her tears away with his thumbs.  She let herself enjoy his touch before she sniffled and finally looked up at him.
“When I was talking to you earlier, I felt this weird pain,” she explained quietly.  Bucky nodded, listening intently as he held her face still.  “That’s why I ran out.  I went to Bruce’s lab to test me because it felt like…like a heat,” she sniffled again, looking down at her lap.  Bucky nodded again, his hands releasing her face and reaching for her hands to hold.  “I haven’t had one in years.”  This surprised him.  He knew there were new ways of birth control for Omegas now, giving them a lot more options than to just mate and reproduce and take care of their Alphas and pups like the old days, which he thought was great.  He just didn’t realize it could be for so long.  “And now, apparently, the hormone blockers aren’t working anymore,” she gripped his fingers tightly.  “My body is rejecting them, weaning off of them and reverting back to normal hormone levels.  My heat is coming,” she sucked in another sharp breath.  “I don’t know when, but he said it’s going to be brutal since I’ve been avoiding them for so long.  He said I’ll need help and…and I don’t know what to do.”  Her voice shook as she looked up at him again.  “I’m scared,” she whispered.
Bucky could feel her panic and gave off what he hoped was a calming scent.  It seemed to help as her eyes fluttered shut and her shoulders visibly relaxed.  The Alpha in him hummed in satisfaction as he swept his thumbs over her knuckles.  “You don’t need to be scared, Y/N.  It’s going to be okay,” he tried to placate her.  “Listen, I know earlier you said you wanted a choice, and now your body’s not giving you one.”  She nodded, a few more tears slipping out the sides of her eyes.  “I…I can help you,” he said, gulping back the lump in his throat.  Her eyes snapped up to him, a look of shock on her face.  “I know that I’m offering something kinda crazy.  But I promise you I won’t hurt you, I won’t make you court me if you don’t want to, and I won’t forcibly mate with you.”  He looked her deep in her eyes to try to get her to understand.  “But I’d be honored to help you.”
Y/N couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing.  She had wanted to ask him and now he was offering himself for her to get through this first heat.  She licked her lips and contemplated it.  “I just don’t want it to ruin our friendship,” she sniffed again, her eyes searching his face for hesitation.
“It won’t,” he said earnestly.  
“...Okay,” she agreed.  
Bucky smiled as he squeezed her fingers.  “Okay.”
“Thank you, Bucky.  You’re a good Alpha,” she thanked him, lifting his hands up and kissing his knuckles.
His eyes fluttered shut and he cleared his throat.  “You should probably not call me that, at least not right now.”
Her eyes widened.  “Oh!  God, I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean–”
“It’s okay, honey, it’s fine,” he chuckled.  “Whenever it hits you, just call me, and I’ll be there.”
She gave him a warm smile in appreciation.  They were playing with fire, and they both knew it deep down, but were denying it heavily.
***
Y/N could feel her hormones changing her body and mind.  Bruce had advised against wearing scent blockers as well to help her body fully adjust and hopefully not cause as much pain during her upcoming heat, and that was the first thing she noticed.  The Alphas around her, who would normally just give her a friendly greeting or a smile, now watched her hungrily through narrow eyes, giving tight smiles as their noses flared as she passed by.  It made her self-conscious enough to ask Bucky one day, “Do I smell bad?”
Bucky looked away from the book he was reading as she plopped next to him on the couch in the common room again, lifting her feet up to rest on his lap.  She was touching him a lot more lately.  “What do you mean?”
“Do I smell bad?  Omegas can’t really smell themselves very well, and since I took off the scent blockers I’ve been…watched,” she looked around the room warily.  Bucky’s eyes swept across the other Alphas in the room, noting how they were all giving off territorial scents as they tracked her.  He sat up straight, facing each one until they caught his eye and gave off a warning rumble deep in his chest, his eyes flashing dangerously.  They each quickly retreated, shamefully turning back towards their previous tasks.  The air around Y/N seemed to lift and she felt like she could breathe again.  “Thank you, Bucky.”
He sat back on the couch, grabbing his book with one hand and mindlessly rubbing her feet with the other.  “No need to thank me, honey.  And no, you don’t smell bad.  You smell like chai.”
“Chai?” Y/N scoffed.
“Yeah, chai with…” he reached a hand out and grabbed her wrist, bringing it up to his nose and inhaling deeply.  Her eyes widened comically at his brashness in scenting her so publicly.  “Pumpkin.  Chai and pumpkin.  Like Autumn,” he concluded, setting her wrist down and then rubbing her feet again.  He said it so casually that she just stared at him dumbfounded.  
It got worse as the weeks went on.  Her emotions were haywire, one minute she was calm and cool and the next she was agitated and easily crying at anything.  She was nesting anxiously, rearranging her room and her desk in her office, constantly carrying around a large fuzzy cardigan or blanket with her.  Her joints were sore, especially in her hips.  She found herself eating all the time.  Bruce had her come down to the lab each week to check her levels, each time warning her it could happen any day now.  
A month and a half later on a Friday night the team got together for a movie night.  They decided on watching the first Avatar, a movie Bucky hadn’t yet seen.  As it played Y/N kept fidgeting next to him, adjusting her sitting position, wringing her hands in her lap, taking deep breaths periodically.  A scene began of two of the characters connecting in a tree garden and Sam yelled out, “Alien tree sex!”  Everyone laughed but Y/N bolted out of the room.  Bucky watched her run down to her room and shut her door.
He quietly got up and followed her.  He could tell just by her scent changing these last few weeks and how it was getting stronger, the chai smell getting spicier, that her heat was fast approaching.  She had been very touchy with him, following him around and staying close whenever they were in the same room.  He had no claim to her, but it was evident to everyone to stay away from her, otherwise they’d get a growl from him.  He was growing more excited by the day, trying to remind himself that he was just helping out a friend, not staking any claim or bond.  
When he reached her door he pressed his ear against it, listening for her.  He heard her heart rate picking up and her breathing became labored.  He could also smell her, more potent, spicy, the scent of unmated Omega making his hormones sing and call out for her.  A deep rumble emitted from his chest as he felt his cock hardening.  He knocked on her door.
“Y/N,” he called out, just loud enough for her to hear.  A soft moan came from the other side.  His eyelids shut tight at the sound.  It was time.  “I’m coming in,” he warned before opening the door.  He stepped inside and was hit with the scent full force, making his eyes and mouth water simultaneously.  Y/N was laying in the nest she built on her bed in the fetal position, one hand on her stomach and the other in between her legs, not yet touching herself but keeping pressure against her core.  “Honey…” he groaned as he locked the door behind himself and walked towards the bed.
“Alpha,” she breathed, her brow furrowed and eyes shut tight.  A cramp wracked through her whole body and she yelped in pain.  “It’s starting.  It hurts…hurts so bad,” she cried as she could feel a small gush of slick pour from her pussy as her body recognized the Alpha in the room.
“It’s gonna be okay, honey, I’m here,” he cooed at her, reaching his hand out and running his fingers along her leg from her ankle to her thigh.  “Let’s get you out of these, huh?” he said while lifting the hem of her shorts up slightly.  She nodded and blindly started pulling at her clothes.  Bucky helped her strip out of her layers then undressed himself, giving her naked body an appreciative glance.  He lay behind her on the bed, cocooning her in his arms and leaning his head into the crook of her neck and scenting her.  He could feel himself getting drunk off of her heat.  She was sending him into an early rut as his hips rocked against her ass slowly.  Y/N keened at that, her back arching and pushing her ass into his crotch further.  He moaned at the sensation, his arms tightening around her.  “Shh, Omega.  I got you,” he said as his voice dropped further, the Alpha coming through more prominently now.
“Bucky…” she sighed, her hands gripping his arms around her.  “Please…Alpha please,” she begged, her legs shaking as another cramp hit her.
Bucky moaned at the sound of his name said that way coming from her lips.  He started to lick and suck and kiss at the scent gland on her throat, making her gasp loudly.  His scent mixed with hers, and they quickly got lost in each other.  His hands found her breasts and massaged them firmly, his fingers tweaking her nipples and making her hips buck back into him again.  He twisted her body around to face him.  She quickly molded herself back to him, hiking her leg up and over his hip, her hands scratching down his chest.  He tried to remind himself one last time that this was just a friend helping a friend.  Then she kissed him.
The kiss broke the dam of hesitancy he was holding to desperately.  He quickly responded, his mouth opening and their tongues tangling as they tasted each other.  Bucky climbed on top of her, his knees forcing hers apart.  His fingers probed her lower lips, finding her clit and giving it all his attention.  Y/N’s hips writhed as he riled her up.  She watched his fingers dip into her, making her breath stutter.  She was already dripping for him so he plunged two fingers into her, thrusting them in and out while his thumb rubbed and flicked her clit.  
“Fuck Alpha,” she groaned.  “Just like that, shit!”
Bucky smiled as she cursed, her legs shaking against his.  She reached down and took his cock in her hand, giving him lazy pumps as he got her closer to her release.  He huffed a sharp breath.  “Damn, honey, oooh that’s good,” he said lowly.  “Give it to me, love, come on, you can do it.  Be such a good Omega for me,” he encouraged her as he curled his fingers as deep as he could reach.  
The tension in her core finally snapped, her first orgasm ripping through her at lightning speed, squirting slick all over his hand and his hips.  She let out a guttural moan, the sound reverberating through the air, making the Alpha inside of him scream to claim her.  He had to physically restrain himself as he pulled his fingers out of her.  She smiled as she watched him with hooded eyes.  He put his wet fingers in his mouth and licked them clean of her slick, his eyes rolling back at the taste.
“Alpha please, I need you.  Bucky, I want your big cock inside me…please!” Y/N begged again.  Normally it would embarrass her to be acting like this, she would have never dreamed of speaking to Bucky this way.  But they were beyond the point of no return.
“Condom first, Omega,” he reminded her in his authoritative voice.  “As much as I’d love to fill you up, I don’t think that’s what you want just yet.”
Y/N pouted, but the first orgasm had helped clear her brain a little bit, and pointed to the nightstand next to the bed.  Bucky quickly reached over and pulled open the top drawer, finding the box and pulling a few of them out.  He unwrapped one and slipped it on himself before settling back between her legs, backing up a little bit.  “Present, please, Omega.”
Y/N twisted herself onto her stomach, lifting her hips high and pressing the side of her face into the bed.  Bucky almost whimpered at the sight of her sweet pussy, seeing the way he had made her drip with slick, the skin softly puckering in anticipation.  “Prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen Y/N, goddamn,” he whispered huskily.  She preened at his praise, her ass raising a little higher.  He gave her ass a quick slap, making her yelp and shiver.  “You ready?” he asked, making sure she was still wanting this.
“Yes, please Alpha, Bucky…please!”
“You’re so sexy when you beg,” he slapped her ass again, then grabbed her hips and aimed himself at her entrance.  He slowly pushed in the tip of his cock, the fat head catching just past her lower lips, making them both groan.  He kept pushing until he was fully seated inside her, letting her adjust to his size.  Y/N was keening again, a high pitched tone ringing through the air.  After a moment she wriggled her hips, silently asking him to thrust.  A deep growl emanated from Bucky’s throat and he pulled back until it was just the tip inside, then snapped his hips back into her hard. 
Y/N was making the sweetest noises he’d ever heard as he pummeled his cock into her.  She whimpered and moaned, making him hook an arm around her hips and lay his stomach across her back, quick huffs of his breath warming her shoulder.  He could feel her walls fluttering around him, making the rhythm of his hips stutter.  “Fuck, honey, you gonna cum?”  She nodded as her moans got louder.  He flipped her back over onto her back so he could watch her release, leaving barely any room between them as he hovered over her.  Her hands wound around the back of his neck, scratching his scalp with her nails.  “Goddammit, do that again,” he heard himself whimpering this time.  She scratched from the top of his head down to his neck and pulled him in for another kiss.
He reached between their bodies and started flicking her clit as he chased his own high.  “Bucky, oh my God,” she squealed against his lips as her back arched and her legs clung to his hips.  “Yes, yes, yes, shit…mark me.”
Bucky didn’t stop thrusting but tensed at her words.  “No, Y/N, you don’t want that.”
“Yes, I do, with you, Bucky,” she gasped.
“Omega,” he warned her, his eyes flashing.  “We can talk about that when I’m not balls deep inside you.”
Y/N tensed at his Alpha command, her legs loosening around him.  “I want you to be my Alpha, my mate.”
“God fucking dammit,” Bucky stopped thrusting and leaned on his elbows above her.  “Y/N, listen to me, you don’t want that.  You said you wanted a clear choice, remember?”  Y/N was silent and wide eyed as she watched him, slightly nodding her head.  “This isn’t a clear choice.  Your first heat in how many years?  It’s your hormones talking, honey.  And believe me, I’d love to mark you, claim you, bond and mate with you.  Stuff you full of me,” he thrust again, making her eyes roll back, “and breed you with my pups.  But we can talk about all that later.  Right now, I’m here to help you through this, because you’re my best friend, and…I’m ridiculously in love with you.”  He finally said it.  “I want to be yours, and I want you to be mine.  But when it’s both of us with clear heads and a clear choice.  Okay?”
Y/N’s eyes were watery as she listened to him.  “You’re in love with me?”
Bucky huffed a laugh, “Is that all you got out of that?”
She shook her head, “No, but it’s the most important thing.  I’m in love with you.”
He smiled wide and leaned down to give a quick kiss to her nose.  “Can I continue now?”
She nodded again, and he gave her another thrust to get her going again.  Her slick started to make squelching noises as he picked up the pace again, his knot starting to catch at her entrance, his hand reaching to her clit again and trailing kisses down her throat to her scent gland, licking and sucking at it again.
“One day, if you’ll have me, I’ll bite this pretty neck,” he moaned in her ear as her fingers dug into his back.  “Make you mine.”
“Yours, all yours, Bucky…Alpha,” Y/N groaned, leaning her head up and scenting him back.  Her soft lips and her tongue against his gland had his eyes rolling in his head again and his fingers gripping her hips harshly.  “That’s right.  Mine.  Mine…mine,” he thrusted harder and faster, angling her hips up to hit deeper.
Y/N screamed his name as she finally came, her hands digging into the flesh between his neck and shoulder, scratching his scent gland and making him see stars as he came with a yell, his knot fully inflating and latching him to her as she nearly squeezed the dear life out of him.  He fell on top of her, and she held him as he calmed down, both of them panting and sweaty.  
A heady scent filled the air, a smell that screamed satisfied mates.  Bucky pulled himself to his side, holding her close so it wouldn’t hurt her to move with him, and covered them with the blankets from her nest.  Y/N was delirious after this first round of her heat, her head lolling with exhaustion.  “Rest, Omega.  We’ve still got a few days, and forever after that.”
She smiled sleepily, “Hmmm, my Alpha.”
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moonstruckme · 22 days
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I recently found ur page and omfg I spent hours yesterday reading all ur work!!!! What a lil fic of Sirius and reader but like pre relationship where she's in the hospital (u can pick reason) and she refuses to see anyone and just asks for Sirius
Thanks for requesting my love!
cw: hospital, mention of stitches
Sirius Black x fem!reader ♡ 906 words
Sirius feels awkward and stiff as he pulls back the curtain, though for all he knows you’re too hopped up on pain meds to even know it’s him. Really, that’s the only reasonable explanation for the directions the nurse had just delivered: “She said she’ll only see Sirius right now.” 
He has no clue why you’d ask for him. He’s probably the least comforting of your roommates, and as soon as he catches sight of you, knees tented in front of your chest and hands clasped around your ankles, his worry for your choice deepens. 
Someone’s tried to clean you up, but they’ve done a shit job of it. There’s still blood crusted on your chin, and your face is blotchy, your cheeks smeared with dark gray like you’d wiped across them with your hands only to spread your makeup off to the sides. James had said you’d cried the whole car ride to A&E, but Sirius still wasn’t prepared to see you like this. His chest feels hollow and achy. 
“Hey,” you say, voice scratchy. If hearts have strings, you’re playing his like a fiddle. 
“Hey, doll.” He goes for a smile as he sits on the edge of your little cot, managing to sound halfway normal. “Come here often?” 
You start to grin, then stop like it hurts. Sirius stops, too. 
“Yeah, you know,” you say, “now and then.” 
“Don’t see why.” He makes a show of looking about him, at the papery blue curtain and beige-ish linoleum floors. “Place is sorta depressing.” 
You roll your eyes, and Sirius’ heart lightens to see you in a better humor. “Yeah, I think I’ve judged my hangout poorly. I’m dying to get out of here.” 
He’ll bet. You’ve been here hours longer than him. James had been the only one home with you when you’d tripped on the stairs and bitten through your lip, and Sirius and Remus had only found out when they’d gotten home and seen the note James left, his already scribbly handwriting worsened by haste and panic. By the time they’d arrived they’d missed most of the action (Sirius was secretly thankful for that) and James had filled them in before the nurse had come out to inform them that you’d gotten three stitches in your lip and summoned Sirius back. 
“I can understand that.” He gives you his best approximation of James’ easygoing grin. “You ready to go home then, gorgeous?” 
The shift is slight, but Sirius sees your bravado fade, a shyness entering your expression. “That’s actually why I wanted to see you,” you say.
“Yeah?” He doesn’t bother to hide his curiosity. “Why’s that?” 
“Because I know you’ll be honest with me.” 
He feels his eyebrows go up. “About what, doll?” 
You shrink a bit, knees drawing closer to your chest. Your voice is small when you ask, “Is it awful? I mean, do I look awful?” 
Ah. Sirius can see why you’d want him for this, but you’re wrong in your assumption. He’d absolutely lie to you if he needed to, just like Remus or James would in his place. But you’ve asked for him, so Sirius tries to do right by you. 
“You could never look awful, dollface. Be sensible.” He squints his eyes teasingly, reaching for your ankle and giving it a reprimanding little shake. “It’s just a couple of stitches, you haven’t been warped unrecognizable.” 
You frown, and it’s even more upsetting than usual. Your eyes look heart-breakingly insecure. “Are you sure?” you ask softly. 
“Yeah, I’m fucking sure.” Sirius scoffs like you’re unbelievable. “You said it yourself, babe, I wouldn’t lie to you.” He definitely would, but there’ll never be an occasion for that. He can’t imagine you genuinely looking bad. “I can clean you up a bit, though, if you’d like.” 
You blink. “Um, yeah. If you think it would help.” 
“Brilliant. Sit tight.” Sirius gets up and starts going through drawers, sifting through medical supplies for something he can use. 
“Fairly sure you’re not supposed to do that.” You sound like you’re trying not to smile. 
“Fairly certain my taxes pay for this place, and they’ve left my best-looking roommate with a dirty face.” He finds a box of mini-wipes, turning back to you. “Don’t tell James I’ve said that.” 
“Oh, I’m definitely tattling on you,” you tease, and Sirius is caught between feeling triumphant and worried that you look very near to grinning. He has no clue how easy it is to tear your stitches. 
“What, you want us to match? That’s cruel, sweetheart.” 
You roll your eyes. “He won’t punch you.” 
Sirius huffs a laugh, holding you still with a hand on your jaw as he wipes gently at your chin. “You haven’t known him as long as I have.” 
Your brows flick up as you meet his eyes, disbelieving. “Our James? You really think our James would hit you for saying he’s not the best looking roommate?” 
“Well, not if you’re in front of me,” he muses. He throws out the first wipe, ripping open another. “He already feels bad for you, so maybe that can work in my favor. If you are going to tell him, lean on me as we walk out, okay, doll? Give me a fighting chance.” 
The corner of your lips twist as you close your eyes and Sirius wipes sideways across your cheek. “Yeah, fair enough. I’ll do my best for you.”
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suuuupernovaaa · 1 year
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kavuk si
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kavuk si [English] vin. betray
Neteyam has chosen a woman, and you know it isn’t you.
1,471 words
Fishing was supposed to clear my mind and calm my nerves, but I was throwing my spear too forcefully, and it was making the fish almost unusable. Plus, I was missing a lot, and that was only serving to further fuel my anger and frustration.
“It’s just a rumor,” my sister said again as I huffed and pulled my spear from the sandy riverbed.
“It is not,” I replied. “His own mother is said to have confirmed it. He has chosen.”
Even without looking at her, I knew Kawti was rolling her eyes behind me. It had been my wish to come fishing alone, but there wasn’t much I had truly done alone since Kawti was born 13 years ago. Despite our seven year age difference, she was my best friend, and I was usually happy to have her along.
Just - not today. All morning, all anyone at home could talk about was how the eldest son of Toruk Makto was finally going to choose a woman, and he was going to make his declaration soon. I knew, in my heart, that Neteyam would have told me already if I was his choice. Just last night we had gone hunting together, and I had eaten the evening meal with his family - he had plenty of opportunity to tell me himself.
Even though we hadn’t exactly expressed how we’d felt, I thought I had been pretty clear in my affections and desires, and I’d thought Neteyam was just shy. Now I felt like a fool. He had not stolen any kisses, or any other affections, and I had been leading myself on. He simply wasn’t interested.
“Come, Y/N. Mom will be expecting us back soon.” Kawti hopped down from her seat atop a tree branch, and extended her small hand to mine.
I grabbed my meager bag of mangled fish, and followed her back to Home Tree.
--
When the rest of my family went to dinner, I stayed back. I wasn’t hungry, in fact I was feeling a little ill, and really did need a little bit of time alone. 
Kawti was annoyed, but her optimism was childish. Not only did she think it was just a rumor, but she claimed to be sure Neteyam was ‘completely in love’ with me.
As if she knew anything about love. She was just a kid.
I could only sit in our little alcove of Home Tree for so long before becoming restless. I was feeling ridiculous, too. If Neteyam did not want me, and had chosen another, then I would have to grow up and move on. There were many fine men in our village, and I knew one would choose me - and I would choose them in return.
I could only barely lie to myself, as dread gripped my chest at the thought of mating with anyone else. So I stood up, trying to shake the thoughts from my head, and walked outside. It was quiet, as most were gathered for the evening meal, and the quietness left me too much to my dark, depressing thoughts.
Without direction, I began walking towards the forest.
“Y/N!” a familiar voice called, and I hesitated before turning.
“Teyam,” I said through gritted teeth. I looked over my shoulder to see him jogging to catch up, a wooden bowl full of food in his hands.
He looked handsome, I thought before I could stop myself. Neteyam always looked handsome, but there was something different... he was wearing a large necklace made of leather that was reserved for special occasions, and his face was painted as if for battle or a ceremony.
“Your mother said you were ill. I brought you this.” He extended it to me, and something about the gesture turned my sadness to rage.
He could choose another woman, ask her to be his mate, and still pretend to be concerned about me? To bring me food? How dare he!
“Bah!” I said, waving my hand. “Leave me, Neteyam.”
He furrowed his brow in confusion and tilted his head to the side, his ears flicking back and forth. “Do you need the healer?”
“No. I need to be alone.” I stepped back, but he stepped forward to follow.
“I need to talk to you,” he said, his voice firm, and extended his hand to me.
I looked at him skeptically, tilting my head to the side, and sighed. It had always been hard to stay mad at Neteyam, and the look on his face was very serious.
I put my hand into his, noting how much larger his was, and we went back into my family’s alcove in Home Tree together.
Neteyam did not let go of my hand when we stepped inside, and I tried to savor it. If he was to belong to someone else soon, this might be the last time we were ever truly alone.
“Well, what do you need to talk about?” I asked, trying not to let my voice waiver. “My family will be back soon.”
This was not even close to the truth, and Neteyam knew it. My mother could talk for hours every night, and my sister was usually exhausted by the time they returned from their socializing. It would be at least an hour before they returned.
Neteyam looked everywhere in our modest home but at me, and I squeezed his hand. “Teyam, spit it out!”
“Damn, you don’t make it easy, Y/N!” he replied in a huff, and my eyes widened in surprise.
“Sorry,” I said, unsure of what I was apologizing for. He was the one who should have been apologizing to me.
Why had we gone on all those rides together? Hunted together? Taken meals together, spent time with each other’s families, if he had not intended to be mine?
“You are mad at me,” he said quietly, and I finally allowed myself to look into his eyes.
“Yes,” I said in a near-whisper. “I am.”
“Why?”
I took my hand from his and crossed my arms over my chest. “They are saying.. they are saying you have chosen a woman. Everyone is to celebrate the mating of the Chief’s son.”
His eyebrows rose up and his shoulders fell. “Well... this is true.”
I nodded, stepping away from him. “Who is she? Ni’awtu? She’s a fine hunter. Or... Petani? She has a fine skill on the loom, and would make a good mate.” I blinked hard to stop the tears rushing into my eyes.
I jumped with surprise when Neteyam laughed so hard that he threw his head back. “You are joking!” he exclaimed.
“I am not! Tell me who it is!”
With considerable effort, Neteyam stopped laughing and closed the gap between us again. He reached out, gripping my upper arms with his hands, and leaned in close.
“You are mad because you are jealous, but you are jealous of yourself, Y/N. Ni’awfu may be a fine hunter, and Petani weaves very well on the loom, but I do not love them. I do not love anyone else.”
Blinking hard, it took me a few moments to understand what Neteyam was saying to me. I stood, slack jawed and stunned, forcing him to continue speaking.
“I wish to ask you to be my mate before Ewya, to spend your life with me, to mother my children, Y/N.”
I took in a long, deep breath. My hands were shaking and the tears had filled my eyes, I could no longer hold them back. It was so hard to find any appropriate response. I had spent years pining over Neteyam, and all day today sure that my chance was gone and I was going to have to watch him with someone else - which would have been a fate worse than death.
“Neteyam, I... of course, yes. I, I have always...” I stuttered and stammered as tears fell down my face.
Graciously, Neteyam stopped our needs for words by leaning down and pressing his soft lips to mine in a kiss I felt as if I had waited so long for.
My body felt on fire instantly, from the top of my head to the tips of my toes, and I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned into him, deepening the kiss.
It felt like a long time before we pulled apart, both smiling like a couple of idiots.
“You are mine, Y/N,” Neteyam whispered, pressing his forehead to mine. “How could you have thought I would choose anyone else? I have always been yours.”
Tears spilled freely now, and I put my hands on either side of his face. “I feel foolish. I have always been yours, Neteyam.”
He hugged me tightly, pulling my body completely flush with mine, and I breathed him in deeply.
“Always.”
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strang3lov3 · 11 months
Text
A Learning Process
Extra Soft!Joel Miller x Reader
Summary: Your whole life, everyone told you motherhood would come easy. So far, it has not. You struggle to connect with your baby boy, Francis. You struggle to console him, to breastfeed him, everything. Joel has pretty much taken care of your son by himself in the two months since you gave birth. Today is your first day alone with your baby boy, and it ends in disaster. Does Joel also think you’re a failure of a mother? Takes place in Jackson, sometime after TLOU
Word Count: 5k
Warnings: emotional, emotional breakdown, talks of giving birth, breastfeeding, dirty diapers, taking a bath with Joel, pet names, vulnerable reader, postpartum depression and anxiety, undefined loving relationship with Joel
A/N: Just thought of this story, thought you could all use some sweet soft Joel :)
Edit: forgot to add this is loosely based on this request from @guiltgoreglory !!!
If you like this story, please leave me a comment or reblog telling me what you think!!🩷🩷
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It’s a quiet December morning, the sunlight is just beginning to dance and sparkle on the snow outside. You’re in an old rocking chair Maria gifted you, holding your baby boy close to your chest. He’s quiet for once, usually he’s fussy when you hold him. You’re morose, wondering if it was the right choice to bring him into this world, with you as his mother.
His name is Francis. You gave birth to him two months ago in October. 
It was a chilly April day when you realized you were late, not having a period since January. In a panic, you called Joel into your shared bedroom. 
Those two words hit him like a ton of bricks. “I’m late,” you whispered, eyes full of worry and tears. Your words were bitter, tasting like the bile on your tongue. 
“You’re what?” 
“I think I’m pregnant, Joel,”
Joel sat down on the bed with you, his head spinning. He was quiet, too quiet. But not angry like you feared he would be. 
Jackson was a great place to raise a child, but Jackson was still a town on Earth, which for the past twenty-odd years, has been overtaken by a brain-controlling fungus. There was no guarantee that having a baby in Jackson would be 100% risk free. 
“But we’ll take care of it. I want you to come to the doctor with me tomorrow,” you started. “And we’ll deal with–”
“No,” Joel interrupted. He looked at you with his big brown eyes, so sad and worrisome. “I can’t let you do that. Not safe.”
Abortion is what he was referring to. It’s not that Joel felt abortion was wrong in any sense, he was the last person on Earth who had any right to discuss right and wrong. Abortion was risky, even in the safety of Jackson. And he couldn’t risk letting you get hurt, or worse. He was right, and you knew it. You didn’t need any convincing. “I’m sorry,” he said. 
“I don’t know that I’m ready to be a mom, Joel,” you breathed shakily. “I can’t do this.”
He held your hand in his own, so big and calloused from years of backbreaking work. “I’ll be with you every step of the way,” he whispered. “You didn’t get into this all by yourself.”
It was true. Joel was the one who did this to you, anyway. He was your person, or whatever you could call him. Not really your lover, not officially at least. He was just your guy, your companion in everything. And you slept together. It just was a one time, two time, okay maybe all the time kind of thing. 
Contraception wasn’t easy to come by. If you were lucky enough to come by some condoms, they were most definitely expired and probably useless. You’d be better off with the pull out method, which was never that great of a birth control method. 
You and Joel would often forgo pulling out, getting too caught up in the heat of the moment. You loved each others’ bodies passionately. And well, your bodies did what human bodies tend to do. They created a baby. 
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
Since giving birth to Francis in October, Joel had taken on the role of sole caretaker to your baby boy. It’s not what you had planned, exactly. It’s kind of just how it happened. 
Joel did his best to teach you how to swaddle Francis, but you could never quite get it right. He’d flail his limbs too much and you couldn’t wrap him quick enough. Joel also tried to help you learn to breastfeed, but Francis would never latch to your nipple. 
You and Francis didn’t quite connect, the way most new moms do with their babies. You’d seen women around Jackson with their babies, smiling and singing to them. Their babies looked so happy, so at peace with their mamas. 
And it made you feel so isolated. You could never console him, never. It seemed like he only ever cried in your arms. You and Francis were like oil and water. Sometimes you wondered if you were even his mother. He wanted just about nothing to do with you, and everything to do with Joel. 
Even the pregnancy was difficult. There was no glow to your body, like everyone told you there would be. You felt ugly and swollen, and you were in constant pain. Francis’ favorite activity in utero was to do somersaults, over and over and over, which meant you’d puke your brains out, over and over and over. Joel was patient with you, of course. You were growing his child. Didn’t press you for sex or make you do anything you weren’t comfortable with. He’d just hold your hair back and promise you that everything would be alright, it wouldn’t be like this forever.
Joel, on the other hand, had no problem connecting with his baby boy. Francis and Joel were thick as thieves. Francis was silent in his arms, save for the cute little coos he’d let out while sleeping. Francis didn’t cry when Joel changed his diapers like he did with you. Francis let Joel bottle feed him, but refused to let you. 
It broke your heart. 
And it broke Joel’s too. 
To add insult to injury, your relationship with Joel was dwindling. He was there for you, just distant. And you were distant too. You knew it could happen, lots of couples lose sight of one another after a baby. You just didn’t expect it to feel so lonesome and severe. 
You didn’t play games with Ellie like you used to. Didn’t cook together. Didn’t touch each other. Didn’t even go to bed at the same time, because Joel was always with Francis. You’d go to sleep before Joel, silently weeping at all of your shortcomings as a mother and partner, or whatever you were.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
“You’ll be alright today,” Joel says sweetly as he dresses himself. He speaks to you in a soft and gentle tone, soothing you. 
“I’m just nervous,” you admit, still rocking Francis. He looks just like Joel. He’s got big brown eyes, just like his daddy. He’s even got the same dimple as Joel on his right cheek. 
“I know you are,” he says, pulling on and tying his boots. He’s nervous too, if he’s being honest with himself. He knows motherhood has not been easy on you. It’s not that he thinks you can’t handle yourself and Francis, he just knows you’re high strung and anxious. “It’s just a couple hours. Tommy put me on the short shift today.” Everyone contributed to patrol in Jackson, and today is Joel’s first day back since the birth of Francis. 
You smile weakly, but wear a brave face. He’s right, it’s just a couple hours. It’ll be fine. Joel kisses your cheek, then bends down to kiss Francis’s soft head. “I’ll be back soon,” he promises. 
And then he’s gone. 
The silence is unnatural, almost eerie. You feel your anxiety in your fingertips as you mindlessly twiddle your fingers against Francis’ back. The sun is brighter now, and it’s time to get the day started. 
Here goes nothing.
“Alright, baby. What do you think, eggs and toast for breakfast?” you whisper to Francis. 
Francis just looks at you and coos with his amber eyes, his mouth suckling on his pacifier. He looks so much like his daddy. 
“Sounds yummy to me too,” you reply to his lack of an answer. As you shift in your seat and maneuver Francis so that his head is tucked by your neck and you’re supporting his bum, he begins to whine a little. “It’s okay, my angel. It’s okay. Mama’s got you. We’re gonna have a good day today, baby.” 
You bounce him a little, soothing him. He quiets down. You make your way to the staircase, your sweet boy wrapped in your arms. 
The stairs are…daunting. They’re steep, rickety, and old. They’re hard wood, but you were smart and took your socks off to eliminate any possibility of slipping. But still, it’s scary. For a second, you consider sitting and moving down the steps the way a toddler would. But you wave that idea off. Don’t be ridiculous.
Deep breath in, deep breath out. You take a step. And then another. Slowly, ever so slowly. Another now. One more. 
You don’t know how it happened. You’re suddenly at the bottom of the stairs, your foot twisted and underneath your body, pinned to the hard stairs. Francis is screaming in your ear, still pressed to your chest. 
You move your foot out from under you with a wince and before even checking to see if it’s broken, and hold Francis in front of you. 
He’s screaming, wailing. His face is fire engine red as he cries. You quickly examine his little body to check for any scrapes or bruises or cuts. Luckily, there are none. 
You do your best to soothe the little boy. “It’s okay, angel. It’s okay. Mama’s got you,” You tell him over and over that it’s okay, but you don’t know that for sure. Did he hit his head? Did you shake him? 
Francis is inconsolable. You look around you for anything to grab to keep him calm, luckily his pacifier is in reach. You place it in his mouth, he spits it out. You do it again. Nothing. 
You’ve got this. Just breathe. 
“Okay, okay. No paci. That’s fine, baby,”
Francis’ cries never let up. He’ll tire himself out eventually. Right?
With Francis still shrieking in your ear, you check your foot. It’s black and blue, already swelling. You try to sit up a bit, put some pressure on it. The pain shoots through your entire body. You don’t know if it’s twisted, sprained, or broken. 
What you do know is that you’re stuck. You’re alone, with no way to call for help. No way to move from the steps. Joel’s short shift might as well be infinite now. 
A few minutes pass as you just focus on your breathing. 
Breathe, is what Joel told you when you found out you were pregnant. You panicked and hyperventilated as he wrapped his strong arms around you, bringing you back down to Earth.
Breathe, is what Joel told you when you spent hours vomiting into the toilet, Frankie never letting up on his somersaults. He held your hair back, rubbed circles into the tense flesh of your shoulders. 
When you were in your long and arduous labor, screaming in agony and gripping his hand. Breathe. 
Breathe. When you couldn’t soothe your son, and you broke down in tears of frustration. Joel took Francis from you and walked into another room to give you a break from his cries. 
You just breathe. 
Finally, the ear piercing shrieks flying from Francis’ mouth subside after a while. You don’t know how long exactly, maybe an hour. He’s still crying, but it’s a different tone. He’s hungry. 
Might as well give it a shot. You can do this. 
You lift up your shirt, adjusting Francis so he’s flush with your body. You guide his mouth to one of your breasts, encouraging him to wrap his lips around your nipple.
You can tell he’s trying, just can’t quite figure out how to latch. You do your best to help him, maneuvering his little body and your breast to ease his struggle. 
“Come on, Francis. You’ve got this, buddy,” you coo. He seems to be relaxed a little by your voice. He almost latches, but not quite. “It’s just you and me, sweetheart.”
Maybe he’s uncomfortable on this side. You flip him over and offer your other breast. He can’t quite latch there either. 
He’s whining, crying. He’s frustrated, you’re frustrated. He’s hungry, you’re hungry. 
“Please, please, please,” you beg him softly. “You can do this, baby. Just eat for mama.”
He still won't latch, but you don’t stop trying. Not for hours. 
Francis’ hunger pangs have seemed to peter out, now. He’s asleep in your arms, most likely tired himself out from crying so much. You worry if he’ll lose his voice by the end of today. 
Your ass is sore, so is your back and your foot. But you savor the peace and quiet despite the pain in your body. 
You wonder how many hours it's been. You try to tell by the way the shadows on the floor change with the sun, but you can’t make out much. Maybe the shadows have moved, maybe not. You can’t tell. Time doesn’t even feel real at this point. Today is agonizingly long.
You rest your head against the banister, closing your eyes. Joel told you once to take advantage of your sleeping son.
“Get some sleep,” Joel mumbled to you. It was maybe a week after giving birth to Francis and you were peering into his crib with heavy eyelids, afraid that if you slept he’d disappear. “He’ll be fine.” 
“I know, I just,” you struggled to form a sentence. You wanted to make sure your baby boy was alright. You hated leaving him. 
“He’ll be fine,” Joel repeated, his gruff voice firm yet sympathetic. “Go to bed.”
Joel helped you up, your body still so tender after Francis’ delivery. You winced at the ache in your muscles. “It’s okay. I’ve got you, sweetheart,” he whispered to you. 
You were in a trance, being led to your bed by Joel. It was like your feet weren’t even moving, just floating along and walking on nothing. Joel helped you in bed, adjusted the pillows under your head and pulled a blanket up over your shoulders.
He stepped away from the bed and made his way to the door, turning to give you one last look. Your gaze was still fixed on Francis, unwavering. 
Joel sighed and walked back to the bed, this time his side. The bed creaked with each of his movements. He flipped you over gently so you couldn’t stare at Francis any longer, your head on his chest. 
“Joel,” you protested. “Our baby.”
“Francis is fine,” he mumbled. “You need to sleep. I’ll watch him. Okay, mama? Mom sleeps when baby sleeps. That’s the rule.”
“I can’t sleep, though. I have to watch him,”  Your anxiety wouldn’t leave. Joel felt you fight and struggle against watching Francis. You were so restless. 
“Don’t sleep then,” Joel said. “Just rest your eyes. Can you do that for me?”
“Just rest my eyes?”
“Yeah, sweetheart. Just give them a break,”
You groaned. “Fine,” you grumbled. You’d give them a five minute break and go back to watching Francis. “Just for a little bit. And then I’m gonna watch him.”
“Alright, honey. You do that. Hush, now. Relax,” Joel commanded you ever so sweetly. “Just close your eyes, mama.”
You did as he said, and he brought his hand to your head, dragging his fingertips through your scalp. His fingers trailed to your neck, then your back. You melted into him, turning into a puddle in his arms. 
Within minutes, you were asleep, snoring quietly. 
Joel knew how to read people, the right words to say to sway them in the direction he wanted them to go. You were no different than anyone else. Now, he wasn't proud of manipulating you into slumber, but he felt it was justified given the circumstances.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
You wake up to a putrid smell, your ass basically numb underneath you. 
“No, no,” you groan. You adjust Francis, and he begins screaming when you peek into his diaper. The kid does not like being woken up. “Fuck.” you cry. 
It’s a bad one, the mess in his diaper. Francis wails in your ear as you assess the situation. You can’t just leave him in his mess. 
You sigh, taking off your shirt. You set it down next to you on the staircase. 
Francis screams louder when you take off his diaper and set it on the ground. He hates being changed. “I know, bud. This sucks for me too,” you sympathize with him. Then, using your shirt, you wipe him clean as best as you can. It’s not perfect, but it will have to do. 
“Please, don’t cry. Don’t cry, baby. It’s okay,” 
Francis is relentless. He doesn’t let up. You just hold him, his excrement is on your skin and clothes. You’re gagging as your eyes begin to water. 
Your ears are ringing and sore from all the noise. Your back is aching worse than it ever has, worse than when you backpacked across the country with Joel and Ellie. Your arms are full of pins and needles and going numb, you’re afraid you may drop Francis. Your foot is throbbing angrily. 
And then the floodgates fly open. Your tears are spilling, hot and fast. You’re gasping for air, hyperventilating. Francis is shaking with each jolt of your lungs and you try to still yourself, but you’re powerless against your body.
You sob loudly, almost as loud as Francis. You can’t remember the last time you cried this way. All of your frustration, pain, loneliness, leaving your body and washing over it again in heaving sobs and cries. 
“I’m sorry,” you cry to Francis. “I’m so sorry.” Your voice is thick and wet. 
You try your best to breathe, just like Joel told you. But you can’t. You’re gasping uncontrollably and your nose is full of mucous, blocking you from inhaling and exhaling. 
“I’m sorry,” you say again, holding Francis and rocking him. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry. I fucked up. I’m so sorry, Francis.” 
You repeat it like a mantra. You apologize to your little boy over and over and over again, for hours.
“I’m so sorry, Francis. You deserve better, sweet baby,” 
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
“I was thinking we’d do soup for lunch. Nice and warm, what do you think?” Joel’s voice is faint and muffled through the front door. You perk up slightly at the sound of him and Ellie, but you’re too drained to do anything more. 
“Soup sounds good. But I’ll make it. You burnt it last time,” Ellie giggles. Her bubbly voice is music to your tired ears.
“Did not,” Joel says with disdain for Ellies recollection of events. “How do you even burn soup?”
“I don’t know, man. You’re the one who burned it,”
Ellie and Joel giggle as they make their way through the house, then both of their smiles drop at the sight in front of them. 
You’re half naked, covered in feces and your face is puffy with tears. Your foot is black and blue and ugly as you sit and cry, with Francis naked and messy in your arms. 
Joel says nothing, just grabs Francis from your arms and checks him. Then he moves to you, checking your body and your face. 
“Oh my god,” is all he can get out. “Oh my god.”
You just cry. 
“What the fuck happened?”
Your eyes meet Joel’s, then Ellie’s. They’re both so concerned. 
So you explain how you fell down the stairs, right after Joel left. You don’t know how it happened. You explain how neither you nor Francis have eaten. “We’ve been here for hours,” you get out between sobs. 
“Oh my god,” 
Joel’s eyes are glassy, his voice is shaky. He passes Francis to Ellie. “Need your help,” he says to Ellie. “Clean him up. Please.” 
She nods, holding out her arms to take Francis. “I’ve got him,” she whispers, before taking him into the kitchen. 
Joel helps you up, you yelp at the pain. Your foot aches, so do the rest of your bones. “I know. I know,” Joel mumbles. His heart is broken into a million pieces, he’s in disbelief that this even happened to you.  
He helps you into his arms, cradling you as he walks you both up the stairs. You hold onto him tightly, the smell of his clothes and his sweat bring you so much comfort and relief. Your person is here, and he’s gonna make it all better. 
Joel takes you into the bathroom and removes the rest of your clothes, leaving them on the floor. You sit on the toilet seat as he removes his clothing. You feel like such a failure of a mother. 
“Let’s get you cleaned up, now,” he says softly. 
“I can’t shower, Joel. My foot,” you cry. 
“I know, honey’. I’ve got you,” his voice is so quiet, so gentle. “Just for a minute. Just let me rinse you, that’s all.”
Joel lifts you up slowly, being extra conscious of your foot, then lifts you into the tub. He pulls the leg of your injured foot over his hip and wraps one of his strong arms around your waist as he uses the other to turn on the warm water. 
He removes the showerhead and rinses your body, watching all of the dirt and grime leave your skin. Then he places the showerhead back in its spot and switches the water to come out of the bath spout. 
He maneuvers you in his arms to sit down against him in the bath. Your back is pressed to his chest as the warm water begins to fill the bathtub. All that can be heard is the sound of rushing water and your quiet sobbing. 
“Shh,” he hushes you. “It’s okay, now. I’m here. You’re safe,”
“Joel,” you cry, your voice barely above a whisper. 
“I know. I know,” he murmurs. 
He holds you like that as the water fills, your sobs are beginning to die down. Joel leans forward to shut the water off once the tub is full, then grabs a rag and some soap to clean your body. 
Only now does it hit you that this is the first he’s seen you fully since giving birth to his child. You look so different now. You curl up, bringing your knees to your chest. 
“Don’t hide from me,” he whispers as he pushes your knees back down. “I only wanna help you, sweetheart. Let me take care of you now.”
He scrubs your body gently, washing away the disaster of a morning you and Francis shared. He can sense your insecurity still. “So beautiful,” he breathes. He’s so delicate with his movements, washing you so tenderly. So full of love and care. “Always been so beautiful, mama.”
You relax into his touch, your head resting on his chest. He’s so warm. So comforting. He feels like home. He tilts your chin up so your eyes can meet his own, so deep and dark. His fingers trace your features, your chin and your lips and your nose. Your eyes well with tears again. 
“I’m so sorry, Joel,” 
“What for, honey?”
“Today. Francis,”
“Hey, now,” he says. “Wasn’t your fault.”
“It was, though,” You shake your head slightly, your bottom lip is wobbling. “I’m such a terrible mom, Joel. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
Joel’s eyes fill with tears, they begin to fall down his cheeks. “You’re not a terrible mom,” he hushes you with a broken voice. “Don’t say that. Don’t you ever say that.”
Of course, he knows why you think that. He’s been a little overbearing with Francis, not giving you the opportunity to learn to parent the way he should have. “You’re new to this, honey. That’s all,”
You mumble something under your breath, Joel doesn’t hear. All he hears are your quiet whimpers and sniffles as you stare deep into his eyes. He’s never looked so raw before. 
Some silence passes, and finally he speaks. 
“Sarah was an early walker,” he begins. 
Your brows furrow. Joel rarely talks about Sarah, even now. 
“Once she began wobblin’ on those little legs of hers, I knew she’d be trouble. She’s the reason Tommy and I built a fence,” Joel recounted. “You know why?”
“Why?” you whispered. 
“Well, she was an escape artist,” he says. “I’d be out there, doin’ yardwork or grillin’. She’d be in her sandbox, building little castles and whatnot. I thought she was, at least.” Joel pauses for a second, looking away wistfully. 
Joel continues, smiling now. “Anyway. I’d look back to check on her, and poof. She’s gone. And I’d look across the street, and she’s makin’ friends with the Adlers. Workin’ her charm with them into givin’ her cookies and ice cream. She did it all the time,”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Constantly. She did it constantly,” Joel replies. “Girl was trouble. Nothin’ but trouble. So Tommy and I built that fence to keep her from escapin’. ‘Course, didn’t stop Mr. and Mrs. Adler from sneakin’ her treats before dinner.” Joel chuckled at the memory. You did too. 
“She sounds so sweet, Joel,” you say. 
“She was,” he replies, his voice barely above a whisper. He’s quiet again for a moment, remembering. “I was runnin’ her a bath one night. Right after she learned to walk, you know? And I’m focused on the water, makin’ sure it’s not too hot and not too cold. She’d kick up a fuss if the temperature wasn’t to her liking. Like, exactly. Had to be perfect.”
You smile. Joel is such a wonderful storyteller, you could listen to him talk all day long. 
“Didn’t even notice her leave the bathroom. Thought she was right behind me. I just heard her tumble down the stairs, screamin’ and cryin’. Tommy grabbed her, drove us to the hospital,”
You nod quietly. 
“So they run tests on her, of course. She’s charmin’ the nurse into giving her suckers and toys. She was fine, thank the lord. No bruises, no scratches. Just fine,”
“That sounds so scary, Joel,” “It was. Terrifying. I cried like a baby the whole night thinkin’ I hurt my little girl,” he says. “But you know what the nurse told me?”
“What’s that?”
“She said that babies are rubber. They’re tough. Resilient. Our little boy is resilient too, you know,” 
You look away from him, picking at your fingernails. The guilt is eating you again. 
“You’re new to this, mama. Go easy on yourself, for christsake. You just had him two damn months ago,”
You barely reply, just kind of mumble. You don’t know how to respond. 
“Hey, look at me,” he tilts your chin and to stare into your eyes. He’s deadly serious. “You’re strong. You’re brave. You’re doin’ fine, mama. Shit happens.”
You still can’t speak. His words help, but it was still a terrible day. Maybe one day you won’t hurt over it. He understands, not forcing you to say anything. 
He just finishes washing your body, then dries you off and wraps you in a towel. He carries you into bed, promising you that he’ll get the town doctor over later to check on your foot. There’s a sandwich waiting for you on your bedside table. Ellie. Such a sweet girl. 
Joel leaves you to clean the mess of your clothes in the bathroom and at the stairs, and you eat your sandwich. You feel so much better getting some food in your system. 
After finishing your sandwich, you hear tapping at the door. “Can we come in? It’s me and Francis,” Ellie says. 
“Yeah, El. Come in,”
Ellie tiptoes in with Francis, his hair is wild and curly. Just like Joel’s. His eyes are big and lost. Ellie looks fatigued. “He didn’t like the bath very much,” she says. “But I did give him a bottle.”
“I hope he didn’t give you too much trouble,” you reply. “He can be a little cranky. Thanks for feeding him, El. You’re so good with him.”
“Yeah, I can handle him. We’re best friends,” she says. You can see in her face that she’s exhausted, though. “Right, Frankie?”
You smile softly, holding out your arms. Ellie places him in your hold gently, being extra careful to support his head and neck. She can see the worry on your face. You still feel so unsure of holding him, being responsible for him.  
“Guess what?” 
You look up at her. “What?” You bounce Francis softly.  
“I’m gonna teach him how to say fuck. And there’s nothing you can do to stop me,” she giggles, that signature smirk on her face. Her eyes are so playful and bright. “And I’m gonna teach him the other ones too. Bitch, ass, asshole, shit, dick, cun-” 
“Don’t you dare corrupt my son, you little shit,” A deep voice interrupts. It’s Joel, standing at the doorway. “Don’t need two demented kids in this house. You’re more than enough.”
“Hey!” Ellie gasps, feigning offense. Ellie sits down on the bed as Joel walks towards her. “I’ll teach your kid whatever words I want, old man. And I’m not demented,” She punches him in the arm playfully. “You are.”
Joel just rolls his eyes, shaking his head. 
You meet his gaze, smiling at him quietly. Francis is asleep in your arms, mumbling and cooing softly. He’s so sweet like this. 
Joel takes Francis from your arms, places him in his crib. Joel looks at Ellie. “Out,” he says. “Mama needs to sleep.”
Ellie gets up to leave, not before giving you a hug. You wrap your arms tightly around the girl, she’s such a good big sister to your baby boy. She doesn’t often hug you, so it’s a welcome surprise. 
Joel meets you on the bed, pulling you close to his body. You rest your head on his chest as he plays with your hair. “Get some sleep, honey,”
You yawn, melting into his body. “Okay, daddy,”
He feels like home.
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rodolfoparras · 4 months
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okay so this is based off a dream that I had so I apologize in advance if this doesn't fully make sense.
but canine hybrid!price who's retired. he's served pretty long, and when he finally retired he was reluctant. though he didn't have much of a choice because his hearing had been slowly deteriorating over the past years. don't get him wrong he can still hear better than the average human, but his ears are no where as good as they used to be. it's not till he retires that he meets you. I think that you would be the one to point out his hearing, because he's always used to being around loud things that when you guys are watching a movie or something he has it on nearly the loudest volume possible.
once he finds out he looks into how to better take of his ears, which you help with. unknowingly, price's ears are very sensitive, and when you gently stroke them for the first time it sends a shiver down his spine instant boner. it's something that you note for later. but once you get into a rhythm and his ears are about as healthy as can be, you start to incorporate them into sex. whispering praises in his ear, gently stroke them, even just softly blow them, etc.
OH! and just imagine dressing up and going on a date with price at a restaurant, and when you sit down and get further into the dinner you start whispering absolutely filthy things you wanna do to him, just quiet enough that only price would be able to hear. if he walks out the restaurant with a boner and flushed in the face, no one says anything.
Thinking about Price who really isn’t that upset about going into retirement. What upsets him the most is the loneliness that comes with it
Once upon a time Price had found a mate. Back then he thought that the relationship would last forever. He had even promised himself that if he were to go into retirement he’d do it with them but they have long passed away, leaving him heartbroken and lonely.
Work had been his way to cope with the sorrow but now that he was retired he felt cornered. He had nothing but his loss to focus on. On top of that he was too old to find someone to fill the spot, not that he was thinking about finding a new mate anyway.
Needless to say Price had fallen into depression so much so 141 had forced him out the house and into a bar where he’d met you, another canine hybrid, one who’s much younger than him, and who had for whatever reason taken interest in him
You approached him, offered to buy him a drink, talked for a while before exchanging numbers and promising to meet up another time.
Price didn’t want to do it at first, wasn’t looking for a relationship at all. But he thought that it would do him good to make a new friend.
And Price had been right. He now had someone who frequently got him out of the house. Sometimes the two of you went to bars and sometimes you opted to go to parks.
Sometimes you didn’t leave the house at all. Instead you’d visit him with take out in hand. Sometimes you’d stroll into his kitchen and make him home cooked dinner, before putting on some movie to watch (something he appreciated a lot)
And it was nice being friends with a fellow canine hybrid because not only did you understand him on a personal level, but he could also offer you some guidance and advice, and for the first time since his retirement Price felt useful again.
However time continued to pass and his hearing loss got worse, his vision was even starting to blur and for the first time in his life Price needed the help of someone to manage his day to day task but he couldn’t get himself to ask.
Luckily for him you could tell he was struggling with something. You had first noticed it during your movie nights when he’d turn the volume up to the highest setting. You didn’t mind, thought that, like the typical canine, he enjoyed to be surrounded by sounds but it was excessive even for a canine hybrid.
But then you noticed how he’d rarely respond when you greeted him at the door, back turned to you while focusing on whatever task he was doing in the moment.
One time when the two of you were at the store you had told Price that you were going to go to another isle to look for something but he hadn’t heard you at all, looked around and saw you were gone and went into full panic mode.
You spent the rest of the day comforting him, reassuring him while he told you about the issue he’s been tackling lately.
As a canine hybrid yourself, you could understand that he was struggling, so you did everything in your power to help him out.
In one of the articles you read it said that training yourself to locate sounds would help improve your hearing. So you’d take him out in fields, running around in your full canine form and doing your best to identify the different type of sounds you were hearing.
He hadn’t wanted it at first, claimed that you can’t teach an old dog how to sit but he did it anyway, and even though he struggled a lot, you loved the way his face lit up every time he got a sound right.
Another tip was to take good care of the ears. Price would huff and roll his eyes every time you’d show up with a wash cloth and trimmers in hand but he’d let you do whatever you want, even feeling his face burn and mouth dry up at your tentative touch.
Something that wasn’t stated in the article but something you did anyway was that you offered to be his extra pair of ears. You had offered to help him out in his day to day tasks or even when out on hunts.
That offer had him speechless, frozen in place even, because it felt so intimate, more intimate than carrying your bite on his neck.
You had basically offered to be an extension of him and expected him to act normally.
See the two of you have grown much closer to the point where you might as well be courting him. However he still carried someone else’s mark on his neck. He was already claimed. But by offering this, you had basically said you were ready to take it further with him, despite everything.
Price hasn’t felt arousal in so long but when you have him pinned under your weight, while blowing onto his sensitive ears, he can feel blood pooling to the lower half of his body.
But it doesn’t stop there. When you notice just how sensitive they are, you lightly nip at them, hearing the whines and whimpers that escape his lips before he grinds down onto your clothed dick.
You even even yank on his ears, blunt nails digging into soft skin and leaving marks on it as you inch closer to your release, letting everyone know that even though he didn’t carry your scent or bite on his neck, he was yours anyway
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thewritingofamadwoman · 6 months
Text
That’s My Girl
Another attempt at writing Roy Kent. Inspired by the amazingly sweet @onceuponaoneshotfanfic
Pairing: Roy Kent x Fem!Reader (established relationship)
Warnings: Tons of fluff, more of Roy Kent’s potty mouth, a secret relationship and Jamie Tartt being the reader and Roy’s unofficial child.
Enjoy!!
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The second the words “no curfew tonight” came out of Ted Lasso’s mouth, you just knew the evening was going to be a fun one. Both you and Roy had agreed on the way to Amsterdam that you’d both spend the last night together, sightseeing and then staying in bed for hours while everyone else was none the wiser.
As the team’s co-pr manager, it was imperative that you tagged along on the trip for business reasons; Rebecca also told you if you didn’t come along and enjoy yourself she’d purposely make your life hell. So here you are, on the charter bus with the rest of your friends. You looked down at your phone, the time reading 5pm. Roy suggested meeting up at around 9pm, when everyone else was surely going to be in their rooms. It was the perfect plan…which meant it probably wasn’t going to happen.
You looked over at Roy, who gave you a sly wink before getting up and roaring at Jamie Tartt.
“Not for you Tartt!”
Your beloved got up and grabbed Jamie’s bag, tossing it to Will before storming outside. Jamie, depressed that he’d be spending the rest of his time in Amsterdam training, got up from his seat reluctantly. Before heading out, he stretched and looked back, noticing you seated in the back. As if having a moment of clarity, his brain immediately came up with what he thought was an ingenious plan. He called your name and once you looked up at him, he put his plan into action.
“Hey love, do you have any plans right now?” He smiled, everyone else on the bus discussing their potential curfew free plans.
“Not really, I was gonna head back to my room and nap for a bit I guess. Why?”
Jamie’s smile widened.
“Nahhh a gorgeous girl like you alone in a hotel room? Not happening. Come on, hang out with me and grandad for a bit.”
You laughed, and so did some of the players listening in.
“Fuck it, why not?” You said, and the bus is filled with loud cheers once more as you made your way towards Jamie, who took your hand and pulled you out of the bus with him. The first thing you saw was Roy’s back to the bus as he stretched his legs.
“Took you fucking long enou-what are you doing here?” Roy asked, his face full of genuine surprise. You shrugged and pointed to Jamie who smiled like the cat who caught the canary.
“This stunner was going to go back to the hotel alone and take a nap. In one of the worlds’ most beautiful cities. I couldn’t let that happen. And who better to keep her company than us fine, young gentleman. Well, some of us more young than others, isn’t that right grandad?”
Roy gave Jamie a deadpan expression and growled lowly. You shook your head and chuckled.
“I hope that’s alright? You don’t mind do you, Roy?” You gave the poor man one of your sweetest smiles, one that Roy had fallen in love with over the course of the last few months. Roy sighed and eventually nodded, the thoughts of the night he had planned for the two of you going down the drain. Jamie cheered and punched Roy’s shoulder, jogging backwards with his hands in the air.
“Come on Roy! Lighten up! Here, I’ll run ahead while you two trail behind me. Can’t have gorgeous here run in those heels. Fantastic heels by the way,” Jamie said as he ran his gaze from your heels to your face, winking as he reached your eyes. The striker was doing his absolute best to get Roy to react to him flirting with you. He knew the coach had feelings for you, it was painstakingly obvious. But he doubted the man would ever make a move. So his “genius plan” was to spend the evening turning on the signature Tartt charm as much as he could until Roy had no choice but to confess his love for you. The perfect plan, Jamie thought to himself.
You blushed at the compliment and laughed , shocked that he was flirting so boldly with you in front of your boyfriend. Not that he knew you two were an item, but still. Roy, on the other hand, was glaring so hard at Jamie that it was a surprise the young man hadn’t combusted into flame. Jamie gave you both a very cheeky smile, turned around, and began to run.
“Come on, grandad! Keep up!”
Roy growled and you laughed once more, causing the older man to look at you.
“And what are you laughing at?” Roy grumbled, stuffing his hands in his pockets as you two began to walk, keeping Jamie in your sights as he ran up ahead.
“At how easy it is for Jamie Tartt to get you riled up. He’s only being silly, don’t let it bother you,” you smiled, reaching over and placing a hand on Roy’s arm.
“And besides, we did want to sightsee, and now we get to do that earlier than planned,” you added, looking around at the beautiful city around you. Roy scoffed and looked back at you.
“Yeah, I wanted us to sightsee without Jamie Fucking Tartt running around like a child we need to keep on a leash.” You giggled and Roy’s lip ticked upwards, the sound of your laugh being one of his favorite things.
“I don’t know babe, this might be a glimpse into our future,” you teased sweetly, looking at Roy playfully. Once again, Roy snorted and turned to look at you.
“Please, our children will be way more behaved than that twat.”
“Oh, so you’ve thought about our future children hmm?” Your heart soared at the thought of Roy seeing a future with you. Roy looked at you dumbfounded, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Of course. Why the fuck wouldn’t I?”
Your heart melted, and you were about to reply when Jamie suddenly appeared from behind the both of you, squeezing himself in between you and wrapping an arm around each of your shoulders.
“Look at you two, looking all chummy. And look at this magnificent city! Have either of you seen the tulip gardens? Or the windmills? We’re actually coming up to the world famous Skinny Bridge, just up ahead. Did you know that it’s one of the most romantic places in the world? Legend says that a kiss between lovers while on this bridge ensures that they will be in love forever. Isn’t that LOVELY, Roy?”
Jamie had pulled you both close to him, and thus each other as he continued to spit fact after fact about the romantic connotations of the bridge. Roy looked murderous, annoyed at Jamie’s incessant chatter. Roy had originally planned to take you to the bridge later that night to share that very same fact. He was a romantic at heart, and you were one of the very few people to know that about the mysterious Roy Kent. He was also a man with a VERY short fuse.
“Fan-fucking-tastic,” he growled, and the striker stepped forward from between the two of you and turned around, running in place while he faced you.
“I think it’s lovely, Jamie,” you said, trying to defuse any tension and placate the young man. Jamie beamed at you.
“I thought you would. I bet even someone as tough and grumpy as Roy believes in true love, don’t you Coach?” Jamie began his jumping jacks while looking at Roy, who only grunted in response. The Mancunian then pulled out his phone and handed it to Roy.
“Come on Coach, take a few pictures of the two of us and I’ll take a few of you two as well!” He said enthusiastically as he grabbed your hand and pulled you along with him towards the bridge. After a few photos with you, Jamie suggested he take a few photos of you alone on the bridge. You agreed, posing and laughing, causing both men to smile as they watched you. Roy even let out a laugh as you posed dramatically on the railing of the bridge. As you continued to look out onto the water, Jamie nudged Roy.
“Look at her, mate. She’s fucking stunning. Do you think she’s seeing anyone? I mean, any man would be a fool not to snatch her up and never let her go. I mean, look at her,” Jamie nodded towards you as you were being approached by another young couple who asked you to take their photo. Roy watched as you smiled politely and took a few pictures of the couple, watching you light up as they loved the pictures and thanked you. Jamie watched Roy’s expression, seeing how the man let down his guard as he looked at you. Jamie nudged him again.
“Go on mate, don’t let someone else come along and steal her away. Don’t let another man have the opportunity to stare at that bum. I mean LOOK at that ass-“ Jamie was cut off from his sweet-turned-idiotic ramble by Roy advancing on him.
“Watch your fucking mouth, Tartt,” but before Roy’s fist could collide with his face, Jamie called your name, catching your attention.
“Would you like some pictures with Coach Kent? I’m sure he’d love to take some with you!”
Jamie watched as Roy glared at him before walking over to you to stand next to you almost begrudgingly.
“What, don’t want to take a picture with me?” You teased him and he gave you a look.
“Don’t start, you know that’s not true.”
“Come on now guys, you’re on a romantic bridge. How about you pretend to, you know, be in love or something. Like a couple. Pose couple-y. Go on.”
You and Roy looked at one another, before you decided to just play along. You stood close to Roy and placed a hand on his chest, stepping closer than you usually would when you weren’t alone together. As if running on autopilot, the second you stood close to him, Roy’s arm snaked around your waist. Jamie whistled and Roy glared even harder than before. You could tell Jamie was starting to get to him.
“Just take the photo please, Jamie.” You pleaded with a small smile. You had a sneaking suspicion that Jamie knew what he was doing but didn’t want to think of that yet, choosing to focus on the smell of Roy’s cologne and the feel of his warmth against you. After a few pictures, Jamie decided to start up on his training again and began skipping forward.
After a few more stops at historic landmarks and a few more ridiculous flirtatious comments and innuendos from Jamie, you paused for a moment of respite by a chip shop. Jamie went in to use the bathroom when you turned to Roy, who was fuming.
“I’m going to fucking kill him. If he talks about windmills ONE more time, I’m going to throw him over the fucking bridge!” You giggled at his anger and tried to soothe him, placing a hand on one of Roy’s arms.
“I don’t know if you can tell, but I’m pretty sure Jamie is either on to us or really wants to play match maker,” you admitted and Roy grunted.
“Yeah I know, he’s a smooth as a bull in a china shop. Phoebe would have been more subtle than him,” You let out a laugh and nodded and Roy continued. “I have half a mind to give in and tell him. But watching him think he’s failing at getting us together truly gives my soul the peace it needs.”
You laughed harder and Jamie finally made his way back with an order of chips in one hand and a tulip in the other. He walked up to you and handed you both.
“Crisp chips and a flower for the lovely lady. Coach maybe you should take notes, this is how you treat a beautiful woman,” Jamie preened and you could see Roy’s resolve begin crumble. Jamie was going to leave Amsterdam with a black eye if he didn’t stop pushing Roy’s buttons. You decided you had enough and made your move.
“I don’t think Roy needs any tips on how to treat a woman, Jamie. He makes sure I’m nice and satisfied at least twice every morning before even heading off to work. Now, if you’re done teasing him: yes we’re together, no, no one knows except for you and we’d like to keep it that way please, and thank you for the chips. Shall we continue?”
You didn’t wait for Jamie or Roy to reply before stepping forward and making your way down the cobblestone street, popping a warm chip into your mouth and twirling the tulip in your hand. Roy’s eyes followed you, full of pride and love, impressed at how you handled the situation. Jamie, however, looked like a fish out of water, mouth opening and closing before finding words.
“You fucking cunts, you’ve been together this entire time?? For how long?? I’ve been trying to get you to admit you like her for HOURS!”
Roy gave a smug, satisfied smile.
“Not that it’s any of your fucking business, but today marks six months. And I had fucking dinner plans tonight but you and your fucking windmills ruined it.”
Jamie was still gaping, staring back and forth between your retreating figure and Roy’s smug face.
“Six fucking months?! Roy Kent, you absolute legend. She’s wonderful, I’m happy for you Coach.”
Roy smiled and for a split second, he could see himself becoming closer friends with the team striker.
“Oi!”
Your voice brought both Jamie and Roy’s attention back to you.
“Are you two coming or not? I was promised windmills and I want to see windmills!”
You smiled at your boys, one hand holding your flower and chips and the other hand on your hip as you waited for them to come to you.
“That’s your girl, mate.” Jamie teased as he looked at the taller man. Roy smirked, a genuine smile before nodding his head.
“That’s my girl.”
And with that, both men caught up with you. You passed the chips to Jamie before hooking your arm with Roy’s, the three of you making your way to wherever the windmill hunt took you.
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jessicqvswrld · 6 months
Text
Unsaid words
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Pairing: Neteyam x fem!Omatikaya reader
Warnings: slight cussing, angst, childhood friends, unrequited love, miscommunication trope, friends to lovers, one sided pining, she fell first he fell harder, jealous neteyam🤭(uses of y/n)
Synopsis: neteyam doesn’t know how to feel when he finds out his close friend/eye candy is slowly moving on from him and leading to him confessing.
A/N: don’t know how to feel about this one I was kinda high when I finished it lol so we’ll see if that did us justice.. sex education s2 reference.. also not proofread
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For the past few weeks Neteyam has been noticing you haven’t been coming around as much as you used to which was rare since you are consantly around.
Whether it’s too join kiri with the daily tasks you both shared, hunting with neteyam, or just tagging along with loak to whatever mischief he can find. You were always right there.
Your almost convinced that the sully’s are tired of your constant presence so you always remind yourself to not be so nosy and give them their space.
After all, years after trying to get a certain someone’s attention was clearly going nowhere and you were tired of giving signals just for them to always go unnoticed.
Neteyam is a very oblivious Navi but he also has many good qualities to him that is what attracts him the most to you.
His nobility and determination to prove himself worthy amongst the clan, his natural desire to excel at things so he can be reliable clan leader.
His attractive personality was undeniably alluring which kept all young girls in the clan enticed in a trance.
You didn’t know exactly what would catch his attention.
You tried just about everything, to offering him cut up fruits during training, to crafting him armbands with emerald green beads woven in. You felt so foolishly in love with him.
You even tried to outdo all the other girls so that he would surely pick you but he never did.
You were so desperate.
You tried to involve yourself with what he enjoys doing. Hunting, fishing, ikran riding, you name it. Not to mention shamefully embarrassing yourself in the process.
No matter what you do though you feel as though he will always see you as a friend nothing more.
Whereas where neteyam stood was with you completely although he was to nervous to admit it his true feelings.
He was too afraid of you rejecting any idea of a future with him; so he decided to keep his mouth shut for now.
Unbeknownst to your internal frustration.
You eventually gave up trying to give anymore signals, fully convinced that your efforts of interest were depressing at this point. He had many women pining after him anyways you figured he wouldn’t notice.
~time skip~
It was a blissful day as every other and you were waiting for your mother to finish your hair so you can go harvest fruits with kiri and tuk.
When she said something that caught your attention.
“So I’ve been meaning to tell you something ma’ite”
Your look up at her as she continues with her rant.
“Rai’uk’s parents have been asking your father and I if you would want to go on a hunt with him, maybe get to know him a little better?”
It came out more as a question which made you want to immediately say no but you knew that you could only avoid this for so long given that the whole time you were showing interest in neteyam, she was waiting for an opportunity to bring up you finding a mate.
Since neteyam wasn’t taking an interest, you had no choice but to start looking for other suitable mates within the clan.
And in this case you had to oblige this offer.
After another day you suddenly found yourself in Rai’uk’s company.
He was nice to say the least certainly not neteyam but he was tolerable and could hold a conversation for the most part. He is a exceptional warrior in the clan and has great hunting skills.
You did it for you mother really, she wanted you to be more social in a sense to be more willing to find a mate at a early age just like she did with your father.
You don’t know how to feel but you obviously didn’t want to disappoint your family so you just go with the flow.
Mother says, “ you’ll learn to love him.”
During communal dinner you usually sat next to neteyam usually talking to him about his day and trying to scooch yourself close enough to where both of your knees were touching.
But, today he noticed after a few minutes that your usual spot stayed empty and instead kiri came and filled the gap.
His brows furrowed in curiosity as his ears perked up and his eyes wandered to all nearby surroundings trying to spot you.
Until he spotted you with him.
He didn’t know why but the minute he saw you with him his heart began to race.
Why weren’t you sitting with him? Was he why you haven’t been coming around as often? When did you start talking to him? More importantly why didn’t you tell him?
So many questions filled Neteyam’s head to the point he felt it might explode.
His ears twitched and his tail flicked annoyingly behind him to which kiri noticed and followed his gaze.
“Oh yea y/n parents made a new arrangement”
His eyes now darted over to his sister, why wasn’t he made aware of this? When did this happen? If y/n’s parents made this arrangement and she was unhappy with it, why didn’t she show it? Did she like him?
So many thoughts ran circles in his mind before his eyes caught a glimpse of you scooting a bit closer to Rai’uk to where your knees were touching, just like you did with him.
He felt an uneasy feeling at the pit of his stomach seeing you show the same simple acts with another that was your usual with neteyam.
He always had felt your presence next to him during meals so when he saw you so close to another made him jealous.
The tuft of his tail gently rising, he stared in your direction until loak came to sit down next to him making him snap back into reality.
“What are you looking at bro?”
He pinched his eyes together as if it would help him not see the situation and directs his head towards his little brother.
“Nothing” He exclaims letting out a sigh.
Loak was one to witness how you acted around his brother ever since you all were little. He also took notice of how neteyam was when you were around.
You always coming over for to play with him and his sister but always had lingering eyes for his older brother.
You were the only girl that really hung out with the sully children since childhood, so with that neteyam never ever minded your presence and found himself craving more of your attention the more you guys grew up.
It was obvious that you had such as huge crush on neteyam. So you didn’t know why he just ignored all of your signals unless he only saw you as a friend.
Even loak didn’t know why neteyam wouldn’t want to court you now that you two were older while it was still obvious that you still had feelings for him.
Until loak saw you with Rai’uk, he knew that it was likely that it was not your choice and more of your parents.
But he also couldn’t help himself from rubbing it in because his brother was too much of a skwang to admit his feelings.
“Looks like she’s found someone” he exclaims hands squeezing his shoulders and slowly jolting him forward.
Neteyam lets out a frustrated hiss and harshly swats his hands aways, getting up quickly and walking away leaving both of his siblings dumbfounded.
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Moons past of you spending more time with Rai’uk, and to say neteyam having been jealous would be an understatement.
The way that even when you briefly came to stop by for kiri or loak you didn’t even bother to greet him anymore.
The sudden change in the way you didn’t even bother with him anymore. Like he never even once mattered to you.
It was driving him crazy knowing your attention wasn’t on him anymore. But instead another man.
What did Rai’uk have that he didn’t? He was an exceptional warrior and the youngest to complete his iknimaya at that.
He didn’t know why you were suddenly drawn to him.
But all he knew was he was willing to at least talk about with you, maybe then you will understand that he reciprocated your feelings all along and to forget all about this skwang.
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After all day of waiting for training to be done and for his father to give him a opportunity to bail he eventually did with intentions to immediately find you and talk to you.
You had finished all your tasks patiently waiting for your sister to do the same, so you can hand her over to your parents and take off with kiri and loak to go fly.
You hadn’t even noticed neteyam approaching if it weren’t for your sister.
“Watch out the mighty warrior looks like he’s walking with purpose.” She says humorously.
You had stepped aside so you can get out of his way. When you felt his hand pull you back a bit and kept it’s hold on your wrist. “Y/n I have to talk to you”.
He gave a brief description and didn’t really give you enough time to respond before you felt his tug your hand as a sign to follow him.
After a few minutes of just continuous walking you were growing curious and impatient as to why he was taking you so far and for what, he made it seem like it was the most serious thing in the world.
“Just tell me neteyam, is this about kiri?”
“No” he said shortly, if he was being honest he could’ve stopped anytime he wanted but he still trying to figure out how he was gonna spit this out.
He didn’t know how you would react to this now that you obviously now started something with Rai’uk but he just couldn’t keep this from you anymore.
He led you to a secluded spot in the forest, eyes gazing all around the treeline to make sure you were alone before speaking.
His eyes meet the ground as silence fills the air surrounding you and all can be heard is screeching ikrans in the far distance.
“I messed up with you” He looks up at you with his desperate amber eyes.
“What” you innocently say scrunching your eyebrows.
“There’s a time where I thought maybe you liked me….and I liked you back..and I got scared so I didn’t tell you how I felt…. and then you met Rai’uk.”
He felt a familiar tightness in his throat similar to when he gets reprimanded by his father and feels himself wanting to cry. He hated hearing himself say how hurt he was.
“It’s really hard seeing you with him everyday.”
Your don’t even know how to process his words, you find yourself breaking his gaze and looking at the forest floor as if it was suddenly so interesting.
“W-Why are you telling me this now. ”you manage to stutter out not wanting to bare anymore silence. Confusion plastered on your face.
He lets out a deep sigh knowing that his confession was probably soon going to be lead to rejection but he didn’t care. His hand finds a place on your arm gently pushing it back to make you face him.
He scanned your face noticing the sudden change of mood as expected but he was overcome with nervousness.
“Because it’s true.” his hand comes up to the edge of your shoulder.
Your eyes constantly dart all over the ground as your face turns a bit angry and your ears pin back. An evident frown on your face appearing.
You let a few moments of silence pass before he speaks again, “why do you look angry?” His hand leaving your shoulder and going back to wrist.
He frigidly says not aware of the effect of his words on you. You had worked so hard to look past him to forget all about the advances you once had the effort to make.
Why now would he say this? If he would have said this a month prior you would’ve been thrilled that he would have finally noticed you.
But now.
Now that you had taken an interest in someone else for a change and he now says all of this. had you not given him countless chances?
“Because neteyam that- that not fair, I liked you I really liked you I fucking turned myself inside out liking you.” You look everywhere else but at him out of irritation.
“You did like me.” He says softly, eyes widening at confession you made yourself.
You gaze up at him swiftly, “yes of course I did…and now your telling me you felt the same.”
He tripped over his words but managed to find them.
Uh- yea I..was confused.” His heart felt like it was going to break this was worse than what he imagined, in all aspects, he figured you would forget all about Rai’uk and his unimportant advances.
He expected you to fall at his feet like all the other women did in the clan.
But you were very different, very stubborn.
“I made myself get over you neteyam, this would be unfair to Rai’uk.” You shake your head and back up from him.
Neteyam feels utterly crushed that in the time you spend with Rai’uk, you were acting like you’ve known him as long as you did neteyam and it made him jealous beyond belief.
“I don’t know what you want me to say, were you expecting me to forget all about Rai’uk because you finally noticed what’s been obvious for years.”
He doesn’t know how he should answer, he doesn’t have an answer. He just shamefully looks at the ground blinking profusely as to not let the tears fall.
“I should head back” you say wanting to create as much distance as possible. You start to turn around and walk back in the direction you came. His grip on your wrist was still there and lightly tightened keeping you in place.
“Y/N I’m really sorry I made things like this, I just didn’t know how to tell you, and I waited too long.”
You nod your head already wanting to be done with this conversation, “I need to think” was all you managed to quietly say one of your hands coming up to your neck, and rubbing it out of nervousness.
You were conflicted this was the man you wanted all your life, but this was such a inconvenience now another was involved and you had to worry about his feelings as well now.
His grip on you loosened as you walked past him, and into the greenery of the forest. Your mind still freshly thinking of his burden of a confession.
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Violets: knight!price x Princess!reader
The next day, Price noticed you had cheered up significantly.
He thought it was a little odd, especially when you sought him out to escort you to the river instead of going on your own. He assumed it was you finally coming to terms with your marriage…the awful thing that made his chest feel heavy, and did as he duty told him to do.
Though, when he heard you hum on the walk to the river he couldn’t help but scoff.
“You’re a lot more cheerful, your highness.” He pointed out and you smiled.
“Indeed I am. I received a bouquet of my favorite flowers yesterday and it’s left me feeling light.” You explained and he felt his stomach drop.
Oh no.
Price hoped his face hadn’t paled and that he didn’t look as guilty as he felt because if you saw him you were sure it put it together.
The violets. He picked them for you because he knew you liked them but before he could give them to you he realized how absurd it would’ve been.
Sir John Price give the princess flowers? The princess that hated him, the princess he hated? Not to mention it wasn’t entirely a platonic gesture and if he had tried to give them to you himself he was sure you would’ve thrown a fit.
He had gotten caught up in trying to make you happy. You had stayed in the castle, barely going outside and when he did see you, you looked so depressed it made him depressed.
He didn’t think about why it might…same as why he didn’t think about how angry he got when he thought about you getting married.
So he had planned to throw them out. He had set them somewhere and then they were gone. It didn’t occur to him that someone had picked them up and given them to you.
“Is that so?” He cleared his throat and you nodded. “And you liked them?”
“Liked them? I loved them.” You said and he wasn’t sure if that relieved him or made him feel more guilty.
“Loved them more than the king’s gifts?”
You paused for a moment. There was a slight frown to your lips and he could see you quickly think of a reply before you gave him a softer, more controlled smile.
“The king’s gifts are adequate. You wouldn’t know what it’s like to receive flowers.” You dismissed him as you both came to the river bank.
“I can’t imagine it feels that good.” Price argued and you shook your head.
“No, all you knights think about is handkerchief or a kiss.”
Price hated that you were right about one of those things…both of those things.
“Lady Katherine says it’s a secret admirer.” You seemed proud of that fact but it nearly killed Price on the spot.
Secret admirer? Him? He have feelings for you? Romantic feelings?
The scandal it would cause, the laws that would be broken, he’d be executed and your reputation would be over.
“You shouldn’t say such things.” Price scolded you and you looked at him with confusion.
“Why not? There’s no harm in it.” You argued but he grunted.
“No? You’re certain the king won’t find it rude his future wife is more focused on a secret admirer who is trying to ruin his marriage? He might think-“
“Think what, exactly?”
Your glare was fierce and goading, as if you wanted him to finish his thought. You stood tall as if you were preparing for a fight and his eyes hardened.
Price wasn’t sure what he was going to say. How he was going to get you to forget about the violets and focus on what mattered more, but he was certain it would’ve been the wrong choice to continue.
You were happy for the first time in a while, he should just let you be.
“I misspoke, your highness. Forgive me.” He bowed and looked away from you.
You let out a deep breath, your eyes falling as you turned back towards the river. The tension in your shoulders left and you held your hands in front of you.
“The king doesn’t have to know.” You said softly and he sucked in his lips. “And if he does it’s no cause for concern. I understand my place, whoever it is will surely understand theirs soon enough.”
Though Price knew you didn’t know it was him, he couldn’t help but feel a slight sting from your words.
You appreciated the flowers but perhaps they were still a burden to you despite making you happy.
“We don’t need to speak of the king.” You cleared your throat. “It’s a wonderful day and I’d like to spend it here-“
You were about to sit down when the sound of hooves caught both of your attentions.
Price turned to his trusted knight, Sir Kyle Garrick who nodded to him.
“The king has arrived, your highness.” He addressed you as polite as he always did.
Price watched the color drain from your face as you looked caught off guard. The king had come unannounced, so it was not surprising, yet you seemed far more upset by this surprise visit than someone would be.
The wedding wasn’t for another month. Any reason the king was here meant something bad for the both of you.
“We shouldn’t keep him waiting, your highness.” He mumbled and watched you compose yourself.
You didn’t say anything as you walked back to the castle.
A/n: who’s going to realize their feelings first? No clue
Tags. @deadbranch @makayla-666 @glitterypirateduck @dumbbitchgalore @m0chac0ffee
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Izzy IS about community. He’s ALWAYS BEEN about community in his own messed up way. The Canyon was right and the haters were wrong.
He wanted Blackbeard back because that was what kept the crew safe. He was terrible about it and hurt the man he obviously loves in the process, but it WAS for the greater good. It wasn’t a purely selfish act the antis love to frame it as. He wanted to feel safe again and he wanted the crew to be safe as well.
Hell, he was doing his best to help Edward through his post-breakup depression. He didn’t understand what was going on and was clearly distressed by it but he provided what Ed needed. He *knew* he lacked the emotional capacity to help his captain himself so he agreed to bring him Lucius. I really think he would have just gritted his teeth and suffered through it if Ed didn’t say the one thing that could collapse his whole world.
"Why do we even bother being pirates?" That was what freaked Izzy out so much that he pushed Edward to violence. Not because he selfishly wanted Ed to be close at all times but because Blackbeard the legend was the pillar of his community. That legend kept everyone safe and even if Izzy is a horrible asshole, he *does* care about his crew. He knows the world is a horrible hostile place and he focuses on risk mitigation, even if it means hurting the one person he really cares about.
He really tried to provide that to the crew when Edward and Stede took the Act of Grace. It was a terribly misguided attempt at keeping things under control and it was certainly influenced by his submissive tendencies which make him crave structure and feel safe within hierarchies. He *knows* he lacks Ed's charisma and ability to think outside the box and with such huge shoes to fill it's not really surprising he acted out in anger and in result failed miserably. But he was *NEVER* an asshole just for the sake of it.
Now he realizes those days are gone for good. He's already done everything he could to bring Ed back to his senses, including using *Stede fuckin' Bonnet’s* name. It didn’t work. The realization that his one true safeguard is really gone must be terrible, but it also pushes him to take action.
The moment he realizes the crew are in real danger, he takes things into his own hands. He not only goes against the hierarchy he believed to be sacred but also against the man he *LOVES*. He fucking shoots his beloved captain to save the crew. You don’t get much more *community* than that.
He is clearly struggling. He's just tried to fucking kill himself after being maimed AND told he was disposable by a man whom he's apparently served for dacades. He will have to reevaluate his whole life and he *knows* it. But he puts it all to the side and he does what needs to be done. He took all of Edward’s abuse without complaint it seems but the moment the crew are in real danger, he intervenes. You can’t tell me a community (*any* community) doesn’t need people like that.
It all feels very old-time queer to me. The willingness to make terrible sacrifices to protect one's space. The decision (conscious or not) to be effective rather than liked. The choice to stay alive despite terrible heartbreak and go on fighting.
He's absolutely NOT an irredimable villain. He’s an asshole who tries to keep his little world safe. He’s Larry Kramer getting kicked out of GMHC for being too confrontational and politically incorrect to be palatable to the general public.
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korebringerofded · 4 months
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A Spoonful of Sugar-Suguru Geto X F!Reader
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A/N- Yes, this is very self-indulgent. This takes place-season 2 episode 5, before Geto's defection Description- Suguru falls in love with a cute baker (you) while on his way back from a mission, he quickly becomes obsessed with more than just the sweets you make. Words-1600 Warnings-Depression, hopelessness, smut at the end, oral sex, semi-public sex, one use of y/n, sad desperate geto
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A/N- I ask that you read my rules before going any further. Reblogs, likes, and comments are always appreciated and keep me going. All requests are open and you can find my entire masterlist here.
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The rain was pouring down over the barren street, Suguru had just finished another mission and was making his way to the train station, his tongue coated in a disgusting film of greasy curse residue that traveled down his throat and into the pit of his stomach. The taste would linger for hours, sometimes days. 
It was starting to become unbearable.
Not just the taste of curses, his whole life was becoming unbearable, hazy, like he was in a waking dream.
The never ending missions, the continuously growing pile of his comrades corpses, the loneliness.
Exorcize, absorb, exorcize, absorb.
The same thing day in day out, week after week, month after month, year after year.
Exorcize, absorb, exorcize, absorb. 
“Don't waver, fulfill your duty as a strong jujutsu sorcerer.”
Exorcize, absorb, exorcize, absorb. 
Suguru wasn’t even sure how he even ended up here, he had meant to go to the train station but he had somehow found himself at a colorful entryway to a small bakery.
It was nothing special, not really anyways, bright colors and a neon sign that almost hurt to look at. Despite all that, the whole place had a sweet and inviting smell that seemed to cut through the damp smell of the rain outside.
He wouldn’t have categorized himself as an individual who enjoyed sweets, he preferred his coffee black and given the choice he would have a savory snack over a sugary one. He never really cared much for bakeries unless Satoru was dragging him to one…and something about that sweet and thick scent made the rotten taste in his mouth less noticeable. 
He pushed open the door, the warm air brushing over his cheeks as he looked around. It was clean, bright pinks and blue, the thick smell of coffee and sweets. He was almost surprised when he looked up to see you coming out from the back, a tray of perfectly frosted cupcakes in your hands. 
Suguru couldn’t help it, the curve of your lip, the flutter of your lashes. You were a breath of fresh air, beautiful and warm…all he could do was stare at you, his tired eyes locked on your face like he was trying to put it to memory.
“Is there anything I can help you with?” You asked with a smile and a tilted head.
Suguru didn’t miss the way your eyes lingered on him, looking him up and down the same way he did to you. He watched the way you dusted your hands off on your apron, a small cloud of flour left behind as you did.
“Hm.” Suguru looked over the display case at the endless variety of cakes and pastries with a tired sigh.
“Just two of whatever is most popular, I suppose.” Suguru said with a shrug, his back hunched as he shoved his hands in his pockets. 
“Welll.” You thought about it for a moment, tapping your chin and chewing on your bottom lip for a moment.
“Our coffee is famous in the neighborhood and I like to say my carrot-cake would be world famous if given the chance.” You said with a toothy grin.
“Ha, really now?” Suguru chuckled, taking a seat at the counter, his eyes taking in the curve of your hips, the crinkle of your eyes when you smiled.
Suguru crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back in the chair. “Well…alright, a coffee for now, and I will take two slices of your ‘world famous’ carrot cake to-go.” Suguru teased.
You giggled softly as you nodded, moving to pour him a fresh cup of coffee, the wonderful scent filling the room as the steam billowed in clouds over the cup. 
You smiled, reaching to hand him the cream and sugar before to your absolute horror, this very handsome man sipped from his coffee completely black, no cream, no sugar, nothing. It was appalling to you, you had only thought those monsters were a myth.  
“I absolutely cannot allow you to drink your coffee that way!” You huffed, a puff of your cheeks and your hands on your hips as you stared at Suguru with horror written all over your face. 
“Oh, really?” Geto asked, a smirk tugging at his lips as he leaned forward, his elbow resting on the counter as his chin rested in the palm of his hand. “And what about the old ‘the customer is always right’ saying, hm?” 
“Nope, I’m not hearing it. It would pain me to let you ruin my perfect coffee by drinking it like that.” You were having none of it, and you waved him off as you already got to work pouring sugar and cream into his coffee. 
All Suguru could do was watch with widened eyes and a smile tugging at his lips, he was quite amused with this but at the same time watching the way you pouted, the way you scolded him for his cofee. It made his heart ache. 
“Just like…Satoru used to do.” Suguru thought to himself solemnly.
“So, are you going to tell me your name before you harass me for my tastes some more?” Suguru teased, his eyes following you as he sipped on the now sweetened coffee with amusement dancing in his eyes. 
“Hmmm, perhaps.” You teased, a soft blush spreading over your cheeks as he stared down at you. His soft and comforting voice had a strange affect on you and it sent goosebumps dancing down your spine. 
“Y/N.” You said softly.
“Suguru Geto.”
After that first time, that very first hello, not a single thing on earth could have kept Suguru Geto away from you. 
You, who had a toothy smile and bright eyes so full of life, you, who didn’t falter in showing Suguru such a new and sweet brand of stress relief he never thought possible. Everything about you, that place, it all made his problems seem significantly further away. 
And so, week after week, despite the bakery being a train and ten-minute bus ride away, Suguru made the trip as often as he could. If he had a particularly difficult mission, he always found himself at your doorstep, craving a dose of your infectious sweetness to wash away the taste of shit that the rest of the world often left behind. 
You didn’t take away all the misery or erase anything that had happened, it didn’t change the failures or fix the world, you just made it all more tolerable. 
You grew accustomed to his visits, his soft and calm voice, his tired eyes, the way his hands would linger over yours when you two would occasionally brush hands. You couldn’t help but to think about him, his handsome face and his dark eyes filled with a past he had yet to talk about.
That was, until one particular late night. You were working late, prepping inventory and such for the week, the store was closed so to say it was strange to hear a rapid knock at the front door would be an understatement.
What was even more strange was what you found as you approached the door, Suguru was leaned against the doorway in the pouring rain, his eyes puffy and his body soaked down to the bone, his hair damp and dangling in front of his face. 
From just that one look at him, you just…knew something was wrong. Instead of his normal black uniform, pressed and clean, he wore a white t-shirt that looked two sizes too large for him and baggy black pants. 
“I’m…sorry.” He whispered, looking up at you with desperation in his eyes. “I just…I need you.” 
And that was how you ended up in the back room of the shop, legs draped over Suguru’s shoulders as he licked and sucked your puffy clit like it was the only thing he could do.
Your jeans and panties long forgotten somewhere, your shirt and bra pushed up over your tits so Suguru could squeeze and pinch your pretty pink nipples every time his tongue lapped up the slick from your pretty, perfect cunt.
“Ah- fuck, Suguru.” You gasped, back arching off of the table.
Suguru’s fingers dug into your hips as he pulled you closer, his eyes fluttering as his own moans sent low and deep vibrations running through your already soaked pussy as his tongue fucked deep into you, his nose brushing past your clit as Suguru groaned even louder, your taste was something he wanted to commit to memory.
Suguru was fully clothed, his dick painfully hard in his pants, a small wet patch from where he had already come, though he didn’t really care. He relished in your taste, the way your clit twitched and puffed as he dragged his tongue over it. You were the best fucking thing he had ever tasted. 
He was probably (definitely) enjoying this even more than you did.
You had already come countless times, your voice was strained and your chest rose and fell so rapidly you were sure that your heart would burst at any moment. Your thighs trembled and your slick dripped down Suguru’s chin and onto the table he had you pinned down on.
He was like a wild animal, no longer the polite and charming man you first met, his eyes were wild, huge pupils the size of the moon as his tongue lapped over your clit until your eyes rolled back, mouth falling open as an intense heat washed over you yet again, your slick creamy and thick on Suguru’s tongue and he gulped and swallowed down every drop like your taste was the damned elixir of life itself. 
“So fucking good…I am nowhere near done with you, sweetness. I need more.” Suguru grumbled, his eyes dark as he looked up at you from between your thighs.
And who were you to deny a starved man?
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Please do not copy, use my work, or put it through AI without my permission or I'll be really sad about it!
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gi4hao · 11 days
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the idiots you date — x. minghao
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roommate!minghao x gn!reader
word count: 1k
genre: fluff but slightly angsty (mention of a past toxic relationship)
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“you shouldn’t work for a company that doesn’t respect you”
“yeah, and you shouldn’t date guys who don’t deserve you, yet here we are.”
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minghao’s face bears signs of exhaustion that you’ve learned to recognize months ago. signs which started to appear exactly when he took on this new “big corporate job” as you often call it, simply because you’re not quite sure to understand what it is.
you’ve finished your dinner an hour ago. you used to wait for him to come home, but that was when he wasn’t working overtime most days of the week.
“they needed me to finish some urgent reports, i didn’t really have a choice,” he tells you before you can even ask anything. his tone is like a permanent sigh, but you know it’s not directed towards you.
sat at the kitchen table, you remain silent, fiddling with the rings he took off before washing his hands. the lights are dimmed, making the dark circles under his eyes slightly more prominent.
“how was your date?” he asks as he takes his plate out of the microwave, probably wanting to change the subject. but you doubt he’s still interested in your date anecdotes, especially since this one was your third of the week.
although he comes to sit right next to you, you carefully avoid his eyes when you reply:
“okay, i guess? the guy was nice but had terrible takes on most topics we talked about. well, ‘we’ is kind of a stretch because i was doing most of the talking. i think he was just here to eat good food and make me pay for most of it.”
“so… not okay, then”, minghao corrects you, and the silence that follows speaks louder than any word would have.
you’ve been single for almost a year now, and your last relationship was not exactly a model of good and healthy communication.
living alone after the breakup was a depressing prospect, and minghao was in need of a roommate to avoid letting his job drive him insane: a perfect match for two long-time friends like you two.
there was always a certain closeness between you, but living together has made it more intimate, and consequently harder to ignore... which is why you decided to ask for the help of various dating apps in hope to get minghao out of your head.
“yeah, not okay…” you sigh, mindlessly sliding one of his rings on your finger.
your gaze lands on the painting hung next to the fridge. one of minghao’s, which you insisted should be put up in your apartment; swirls of paint meeting in rosebuds and milky tulips. you can still see where the paint was spread across the canvas by his fingers.
with a tinge of sadness, you realize minghao hasn’t drawn anything in months. his paint-covered clothes were all replaced by dull suits that make him look like the people he used to feel sorry for.
“what time do you start tomorrow?” you ask, pouring him another glass of water.
his lips press into a thin line; you’re not sure whether he’s holding back a sigh of annoyance or just mentally preparing for an answer you’re not going to like.
“7. there’s a meeting i need to prepare for.”
“and when you get to the office at 7, are other employees there? or just you?”
“don’t start,” he rolls his eyes, grabbing his plate to go put it in the dishwasher. “we’ve already discussed this, it’s a dead-end.”
he’s right, this conversation has never ended well. but your eyes keep coming back to that painting, to everything he’s slowly turning his back to. the sadness ebbs away, giving way to a rising anger:
“no, i will start actually,” you state, walking up to him. “you’re unhappy, hao. you shouldn’t work for a company that doesn’t respect you.”
“yeah, and you shouldn’t date guys who don’t deserve you, yet here we are,” he replies, slamming the dishwasher shut. but his voice sounded more cutting than intended: “i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have said that.”
there are a thousand words on your lips right now, but few of them would be reasonable to say out loud. meanwhile, minghao is looking at you like you’re a ticking time bomb.
“but you said it. so now i expect you to either hit me with a miracle solution or kiss me.”
you said it without really thinking, basically shrugging as you know he will never take you seriously. the best outcome would be for him to never speak about your love life ever again.
but his reply makes you instantly freeze: “what if i did both?”
a rush of warmth spreads from the pit of your stomach, radiating through your entire body as his hand comes to meet your cheek, silently asking for confirmation that this is something you want.
your lips crash against his before he can even start to lean in, and the feeling of his skin so close to yours feels so unreal you expect him to push you away any second.
but instead, he matches your eagerness to the point where you’re scared you might lose your balance.
“i hope you like that solution,” he breathes out, leaving one last kiss on your nose.
in that fleeting moment, you reunite with the old minghao, the lively one who makes his own decisions and owns up to his actions. the one you fell in love with years ago.
“absolutely”, you chuckle, your hands meeting behind his neck. “…so i guess i can tell that guy we won’t go on a second date.”
“you better,” he earnestly tells you as he starts to take his black blazer off. “working from 7 to 9 will never be as painful as watching another idiot take you on a date. from now on, i’ll take care of it.”
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-> rbs and feedback are always appreciated!
masterlist here!
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tiredfox64 · 26 days
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Can you write about a female reader that is being bullied by other clan members because she's not considered pretty and doesn't have a nice body and tease her the Smoke would never have feelings for her, so the reader becomes depressed and volunteers to go on a dangerous mission thinking she won't come back only for Tomas to step in and go with her so he can be closer to her?
Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder
Prior notes: I’ve been taking some fat naps. It’s not important but y’all know now
Pairing: Tomas x Afab reader
Warnings ‼️: That foundation was 45 dollars put your head up!
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Why are they so mean to you? What could you have done to deserve their ire?
You thought the Shirai Ryu would be a more accepting and safe environment. It’s not the clan itself, it’s the people in it. A mix of different people with different personalities. Yet they treat you like an outsider. A freak even. Especially the women.
They saw how you would look at Tomas. Such love and affection in your eyes when you got a glimpse of him. He’s so nice and caring while also being incredibly skilled and strong. How could you not fall for that face? Or even that voice. Hearing his voice made you feel warm every time. When you heard his cute chuckle it made you feel good about whatever you said.
Those nasty girls put you down the moment they realized you liked Tomas. First it was your face. Somehow they would see acne scars that, according to them, made you look messed up. They weren’t even that bad, barely noticeable. But after that you noticed them much more. Freckles, moles, dimples, no matter the unique feature on your face they would say it looked unnatural and ask ‘who were you trying to fool’.
Their comments about your body were the worst. It fluctuated between people. Some said you look like you were starving yourself. Some said you look like you were eating for the whole clan. They treated body hair as if it were unnatural as well. There was nothing to be happy about when it came to a happy trail according to them. And stretch marks? Apparently nobody has those. Not on their chest, their stomach, or their thighs. What a lie. A bunch of lying, hypocritical bitches.
What hurt the most was when they told you that Tomas would never like you. That all those conversations where you two would laugh were all smoke and mirrors. He was only doing it to keep the peace and not seem like the bad guy for rejecting the loser of the clan. He would only find them attractive because they were better. Better looking, better skilled, better overall. You are just the background character getting in the way of what was supposed to happen. The background character doesn’t get with the hot guy.
You were hurt, you won’t deny that. You always thought you were beautiful no matter what. But they all made you think you were ugly, a beast. You didn’t actually have a chance with Tomas. You were just bothering him this whole time.
So you pulled away from him, avoiding any sort of contact with him. You even tried your best not to be seen by him. That depression hit hard for you. You felt so alone and isolated from everyone else. There was no other home to go back to. You’re stuck in this hell hole. A hell hole where you won’t find love and you will be shamed for anything and everything about you.
There is only one way to leave and that’s to take the dangerous mission. The mission that no one wants to take because they fear they will never return. That’s what you want. If you’re going to leave you rather leave by the way of death. Death by choice, leave with honor.
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You were wrong. Everybody was wrong. No one had the right to assume Tomas’ feelings and desires.
He was disappointed that he wasn’t seeing you much anymore. It felt you just got up and disappeared. He couldn’t even get a glimpse of you anywhere. Not even during training or walking around the temple. When he would ask other clan members some would agree that they haven’t seen you either or some said they just saw you but only for a moment. He got really suspicious when those same girls who were bullying you would wave the topic away as if there were other important matters at hand. Tomas wouldn’t give them the time of day. He would walk off with a pout, sad that he hasn’t heard your sweet voice in so long. Maybe Kuai Liang would know.
When Tomas asked his brother whatever happened to you he told him that nothing happened to you, you’re just preparing for a big mission. Of course he asked what kind of mission. Kuai Liang hesitated, knowing his answer would enrage Tomas. He admitted he was sending you on a high risk mission. A mission that involves you getting close to the Lin Kuei. He was right to think Tomas would explode because he did.
“How could you send her out there?! Do you know how dangerous that is? She could get killed!” Tomas protested.
“She volunteered, I did not force her hand. She was the only one willing to do this.”
Kuai Liang believed you were doing this out of braveness and commitment. You hid your true intentions well. He was clueless to the situation between you and Tomas and how you have been avoiding him. Tomas could sense the bs however. This was not like you. Not that you weren’t brave but who in their right mind would willingly go into something like this on their own. That’s a suicide mission at that point. Tomas couldn’t and wouldn’t let you do that!
“Then I will go with her as well! We can’t send her out there on her own.” He volunteered to go with you.
Kuai Liang was very hesitant. Even just letting you go was a hard choice for him to make. But they needed the info on the Lin Kuei. He will admit it was a wrong choice but it might not be bad if Tomas goes with you as well. He nodded before speaking.
“Go get ready now. She will be leaving soon.”
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You had all your equipment ready. Your weapons were sharpened and your mind set on something. Try your best to complete the mission. And if things fail and you are on death’s door, accept it. Either way you will leave or come back with honor. You took a deep breath and with a big step you-
“You’re not going by yourself.” You heard Tomas’ voice.
He grabbed onto your hand to prevent you from going. He pulled you back so you were right next to him. You were shocked to see him here. You didn’t understand why he was stopping you. He looked like he was preparing for a mission too. Before you could ask what he was doing he spoke up again.
“Why would you think it was a good idea to go alone? I know you’re brave but this is way too risky to do by yourself. You should have asked me to come,” he sighed before looking forward, “Well, we are already prepared. We should get a move on.”
This was shocking to you. Not only did Tomas willingly find you but now he was holding onto your hand. He held it tight like he was worried you would run off and leave his side.
He was. You were running away from him all this time he can’t let you go. He’s been wanting to talk to you for so long. Get close to you and find some sort of excuse to touch you. But you’ve not just been avoiding him, but everyone in general, like they were the plague. He doesn’t even care if he gets an explanation he just wants to talk to you again.
“You look very pretty today. I mean you look pretty every day but I thought you should know you look pretty, heh.” Tomas struggled a little but he hoped you got the point.
You didn’t, not because you were ignorant or missing signs you just didn’t believe him. Those girls really messed with your head and made you think everything he says to you is a lie. He sounded convincing yet your mind just wouldn’t accept it. You were afraid of being hurt even more. If you did die you don’t want to die with anymore of a broken heart.
Tomas’ heart aches when he didn’t get a response from you. You even turned your head away from him. He almost thought he was bothering you. He would have let your hand go but he was more afraid of losing you than bothering you. So he kept holding on and trying to talk to you.
“Did you sharpen your weapons? You do it so good. I might need you to sharpen my karambit if you don’t mind.”
Still nothing from you. You were hurting more than you were before. You wanted to talk but your mind was at war with your heart. You held your tears in but they threatened to burst out of you.
Tomas saw right through you. He saw that you are struggling but with what he doesn’t know. You’re more reclusive. Even your clothes spoke that. You looked like you were trying to hide your body more and even your face. You never wore a mask before. Why were you hiding all that beauty from him?
“I’ve missed talking to you. It was nice to have a break in my day where I could talk to someone about anything other than the clan. I’m sorry if I did something to scare you away. I don’t like doing that to people I care about.” He spoke softly to you as if to make you understand how much he cares.
You couldn’t. You just couldn’t.
Your heart was hurting and so was his. He just wants to be close with you again. If this is all he can get for now so be it. He wishes it was more, much more than this. You wished you could believe him again. See him as a man who could love you. You wished you could look at yourself and love who you are. You do and you hate that you let those pricks alter your belief.
In moments of weakness like this it gives others the perfect opportunity to strike. And that they did. As your two were having this mission to gain more info on the Lin Kuei, they too had orders to gain more info on the Shirai Ryu. There were more of them and they ambushed you both.
Tomas let go of your hand and took out his karambit to defend you both. This was a shock to your system and you took too long to get your kunai out. You defended yourself to the best of your abilities. Kicking and striking whenever you could. It wasn’t enough and they knocked you down. In that moment you realized that you didn’t want to die. You couldn’t tell if you didn’t want to die in an ambush or didn’t want to die in general. You were horrified and your eyes expressed that greatly to the assassins. You put your arms up to defend yourself one more time.
All you heard after was Tomas yelling ‘no’ before seeing a bunch of smoke burst in front of you. A bunch of slashing and grunts could be heard but you couldn’t see anything. When the smoke cleared all you saw was Tomas standing in front of you with all the assassins dead on the ground. There was about ten of them and he took them down in seconds. He helped you up before holding your face to check for any injuries.
“Oh god, are you hurt? Did they injure you in any way. Are you okay?” He asked as he pulled your mask down so you could breathe better.
He asked if you were okay. You knew he meant physically but you needed to hear it mentally. Those tears that have been building up this whole time slipped out slowly. He realized that there was more to this than he had imagined. He brought you into a tight hug as one of his hands went into your hair and the other rubbed your back. He whispered to you that it will all be okay and that he doesn’t want you being alone in this.
You missed him so much. You missed his touch even if it was minimal before. You can’t stand being away from him again. It doesn’t matter what those girls say you have as much right to be with him as anyone else does. No matter what you actually are you know you love him. You don’t want to die anymore. It won’t help your soul. He doesn’t want you dying either. He missed you. He needs you. You’re so special to him not even for your beauty but your personality. He would never want a girl who would drive someone to their death. That’s dishonorable and cruel.
“Come on, let’s go back. I don’t want you getting hurt anymore.” He whispered as he took your hands again.
Before you could protest by saying the mission won’t be fulfilled an opportunity opened. There was one Lin Kuei assassin left alive. Tomas was about to end his life before he begged for mercy. He said he will tell them everything but just let him live. Looks like you two didn’t have to go far for this solution.
Tomas dragged the assassin back while keeping you close. When you two returned Tomas gave the captured assassin over to Kuai Liang. He was surprised but was happy that no one got hurt in the end. And seeing that the person was willing to talk that means the mission was accomplished. He thanks you both and told you both to rest up.
Never once did Tomas let go of your hand. He wanted you close and safe even if you guys were back in the temple. Even if you don’t tell him immediately what was wrong before he was glad that some progress was made. You were looking at him again with that softness he loves.
“Let’s get you comfortable, alright? Then after that we could talk just like we used to.” He said as he walked you to your room.
You nodded and for once in a while you smiled again. You felt that warmth in your body. Whatever those girls said before was a lie. You can see that for yourself. Everything they said was a lie.
The truth is that you love Tomas and he loves you. There is nothing fake about this. And there will never be even if those jealous idiots try to say otherwise.
You are beautiful and loved. Don’t forget that.
After notes: 🍊…🦊 WHY IS MY BOLD AND BRASH PAINTING ON THE FLOOR? WHO WAS BOUNCING OFF THESE WALLS? ARE YOU EATING MY WORK AGAIN? I think I’ve manifested foxes in my town. They don’t come here and they shouldn’t. Next thing ya know the deers and vultures will come back. I don’t want to square up with a hawk again…I never did that. Adiós!
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Pink tulips a symbol of friendship — Logan Sargent x platonic!reader
Tagged — @amatswimming @bblouifford @disneyprincemuke @faithshouseofchaos @faithsotherhouseofchaos
Logan knew that you were having a tough week and as one of your longest-standing friends, he took it upon himself to make you feel better. On the way to your apartment, Logan stopped by the store and picked up some of your favorite snacks, ice cream, and drinks and continued with his mission.
Halfway through his journey to your apartment, he made one stop it wasn’t planned but he saw the florist stand from the corner of his eye and thought fuck it.
Looking at the selection of flowers his eyes saw a pretty Bouquet of pink tulips. Logan remembered you saying that tulips were a symbol of friendship.
“I would like these,” Logan said, picking out the pink tulips and handing the florist the money.
“Great choice,” the florist said. And with that Logan was back on track.
Once at your place, Logan knocked firmly on your apartment door. Hearing your footsteps making their way down the stairs, he grew a smile and waited. Once the door opened he extended both hands with the bouquet in one and the takeout bag in the other.
“Hey, you.”
He smirked softly seeing you, hoping that maybe this would cheer you up at least a bit.
“Hi.” You said letting Logan in your apartment
"I brought you flowers," Logan said smiling
"for what?" You asked confused
"There has to be a reason?" Logan questioned.
“You didn't have to do this.” You said taking the flowers from him to admire them.
“I know I didn’t but I wanted to.” Logan replied, handing over the shopping bag “I also brought you some of your favorite food and drinks, and also grabbed an ice cream for myself.”
He had grabbed enough to feed both of you, he figured that after what you’ve been through, you didn’t deserve to eat alone.
“I figured a fun night would help, maybe watching a funny movie.” He said smiling, waiting for you to step aside so he could come in.
“The tulips were specially for you.” He laughed “I mean I don’t know who else these are for.” He chuckled again, “Besides I figured, I could just use them as an excuse to see you.” His smirk grew to a grin “Plus I figured you probably need some cheering up, I know I’ve been a while so no hard feelings if you tell me to leave.”
“No, of course not.” You replied, your face growing a warm smile at how thoughtful your best friend was.
“You’re truly something,” you said hugging him tightly
“I’ll grab some plates and stuff.” Logan replied, breaking the hug as he took it as a sign to start getting everything ready. “You just go ahead and sit down.”
He gave you a gentle push toward the table, you did as asked and then sat down.
Logan went over to the kitchen area, placing the plates and napkins on the table as he started setting up all the food. It looked quite extravagant, especially for just the two of you.
Once everything was done, he poured two glasses of the wine he had bought, before he sat down opposite you.
“To friends.” He looked at you as he brought the glass up to his lips and took a sip. “To better days.”
The two of you had a wonderful night, a night that was full of laughter and banter. It had even helped lift the depressing mood you’d been in. A smile had been permanent on your face ever since the moment Logan walked through the door, with his thoughtful gifts. He truly was a good friend.
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juniperskye · 1 month
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Like I Talk To Myself.
Sneak Peek:  Being the new kid in school has Jason and his asshat friends saying some horrible shit to you. In attempt of being your white knight, Eddie finds out that it’s not Jason and his goons who you need to be saved from. Eddie’s POV. Indented section is a phone call (italics are Eddie and bold is Wayne)
Eddie Munson x Fem Reader
Hurt/Comfort
Word count: 2004
REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited - please be kind. Feedback is welcome if it's constructive!
Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI, language, reader is clinically depressed, mentions of abusive home life, description of injuries from abuse, bad medication management, self-deprecation, suicidal thoughts, mention of self-harm, description of injuries related to self-harm. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THESE THEMES ARE TRIGGERING TO YOU!!! If I missed any, let me know!  
That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.
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The new girl had been here for nearly two months now. I had tried really hard to hide how into her I was, but the guys pretty much guessed it the second they saw me checking her out. She was different than the girls here in Hawkins, she kept to herself, not pursuing the usual popular guys. Truthfully he hadn’t seen you attempt to pursue anyone in your time here.
She was in my math class and every day she would come in with her head down, hood up, and quickly find a seat in the back. She’d end up doodling most of the class, like she was right now. The bell ringing startled her, I really wanted to reach out and comfort her, she seemed like she needed it.
I exited the classroom right behind her, only to watch Andy slam right into her. Her books went flying all over the hallway and Andy started yelling at her.
“Watch where you’re going you stupid bitch.” Andy roared.
“Woah Andy, back off. You ran into her!” I had no idea why I was interjecting.
“Oooh I get it! The freak found himself a freakette.” Jason chimed in.
“No, that’s not…” I stuttered.
“I don’t give a shit. Just keep that bitch on a leash, or next time, I’ll kick your ass.” Andy barked.
I looked back to see her scrambling to grab her things and make her way out the doors that lead to the football field. Jason and his idiot friends had been treating her like this since she arrived. They had initially tried to get in her pants and when she refused they called her things like prude, virgin Mary, but then it escalated to slut and whore. And now their name of choice had been bitch.
I made quick haste of following her, something in me just needed to make sure she was okay. As I moved to trail her, my foot made contact with something. I glanced and recognized it immediately as the notebook she’s always carrying. I picked it up and a few pages fell out, leaning over to grab them, my breath escaped me. The words and images scrawled on these pages were dark.
I picked up the pace and saw that she was headed to the picnic table in the clearing. I wasn’t far behind, and I wanted to make sure I didn’t startle her, so I called after her, just as she was sitting down.
“Hey!”
“What do you want?” She snapped.
“I uh, I wanted to make sure you were okay. Plus, I wanted to give this back to you.” I explained.
“Did you go through this?” She accused.
“No, but some of the pages fell out and I did see them…you’re not gonna go through with it are you?” I asked.
“Dude, that is none of your business. It’s not like anyone would miss me anyway.”
“I would.” I mumbled.
“You don’t know me.” She said.
I moved to sit next to her on the bench, sure to leave her enough space. Being this close to her, I could see how her skin looks dull, her cheeks sunken in, her hair looked brittle. In front of me was a girl who was going through a really hard time, and I wanted to do anything in my power to lift some of her burden.
“I don’t know much about you, but I’d really like to. I know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of Jason’s torture.”
“Eddie, if they think that they can make me cry more than me, they’re wrong. It’s my voice in my head telling me I’m better off dead. Not Jason’s, not Andy’s, mine.” She explained.
I was speechless, I truly couldn’t believe that she felt this horrible. I had seen this girl and the amazing things she was capable of; she had silently helped others in her time here. She would loan out a pencil if it was needed, she had given her lunch to a kid who couldn’t afford it, hell, she had pulled a kid out of the way of Andy in the hall just last week so they wouldn’t have to endure what she did today. She was such a good person and he wished she could see it.
“Can I ask you a personal question?” I asked her.
“I guess…you already know way too much about me.” She shrugged.
“In your notebook, I saw something about you hurting yourself…is that true?”
She looked down at her hands, resting in her lap. I was fully expecting her to tell me off and walk away, I had clearly pushed a boundary. But instead, she reached for her zipper, pulled it down and slid her jacket off her shoulders. She folded it neatly and placed it on the table, revealing her arms to me. A choked noise escaped my throat as my eyes roamed over the number of scars that littered her arms. There were scars that were clearly from cigarettes, other burn type scars and a bunch of neat parallel lines that varied in color. Some were white and obviously healed, some were raised scars from the depth, and some were red and recently scabbed over.
“It’s bad. I know.” She shook her head, a tear falling and landing on her jeans.
“Hey, there is no judgement. I just, I am curious to know why.” I replied.
“Why? I don’t…I’ve never been asked that before. I mean my parents treat me like shit, my dad likes to fight when he’s drunk. And my mom, she belittles me every chance she gets…she thinks depression is a joke and that I am making things up. Even after being diagnosed, she still thinks I am trying to get attention, she withholds my prescription from me sometimes.” She paused, she looked surprised at herself that she’d been able to vent freely.
“Honestly Eddie…by inflicting physical pain, I am able to shift my focus to that instead of the emotional pain. It allows me this release of all the horrible shit I am feeling after dealing with school or home.”
I looked at her, gently reached up to brush a strand of her hair back and then grabbed her hand. I locked eyes with her again, to make sure she was okay with this, and when she nodded subtly, I brought her wrist to my lips and placed a light kiss there.
“I just want the pain to end Eddie.” She sniffled.
“I know that things are really shitty right now, and I’m not going to sit here and tell you that it’ll get better, but I do know that there are steps we can take to improve it little by little and I want to help you do that if you will let me.”
*Two Months Later*
I had just gotten to school and made my way to her locker and waited, just as I had done every day for the last two months. I had promised her that I would be by her side in any way I could, and I wasn’t about to break that promise. Only, today she didn’t show. Maybe she was running late…right? I headed off to English and hoped I would see her in third period for math. When she wasn’t there, I knew I had to find her.
I left the school and drove straight to her house; I couldn’t stomach the thought of what I might find. I didn’t want to drive without knowing if she was okay, but I also couldn’t waste any more time.
I didn’t take the time to park, leaving the van diagonally in her driveway. Rushing over to the door and throwing it open.
“Hey peach, you here?” I called out, hoping she’d be sick on the couch, but when I was met with silence I made my way to the stairs, taking them two at a time. “Peach?”
I heard a quiet sob come from the bathroom and began knocking.
“Hey peach, it’s me. Can I come in?”
“No Eddie, go away, please.” She cried.
“You know I can’t do that, not until I see you’re okay.” I pleaded.
The lock to the door clicked after a moment and I quickly opened the door. The sight I was met with was one I never wish to see again. She was sat on the bathroom floor in a tank top and shorts, drops of blood were pooling on the tiles below her. Only it wasn’t of her own doing, she had a black eye, split lip and eyebrow, a sizeable cut across her cheek, and bruises littering her arms and legs.
“Peach. Who did this to you?”
“Eddie…”
“Peach. Who. Did. This.”
“My dad.” She sobbed, dropping her head into her hands.
I had to take a deep breath to calm myself. My vision was tinted in crimson, rage filling my being. I knew I needed to keep my cool though, I didn’t want to upset her anymore than she already was.
I looked at her and asked her if I could help clean up those cuts. She nodded and let me lift her to the countertop. I cleaned and bandaged her cuts and helped her to her room, I told her to lie down and went to grab her a water and some Tylenol. Once in the kitchen I grabbed the phone, dialing home.
Hey Wayne…I need a favor. My friend, That girl you call peach?  yeah peach. Are you with her now? Tell her I said hi! I will Wayne. She uh, she needs a place to stay. Eds we shouldn’t get into other people’s business…plus she’d have to stay in your room…and I don’t want any funny business under my roof. No, I know. Wayne it’s bad. She can stay here. Okay, thank you.
I made my way back to her room and handed her the water and Tylenol. I didn’t know how to suggest to her that we pack all her stuff and get her out of here, but I know I needed to. She deserved to be in a home where people loved and cared about her…not stuck here in this hell her parents have created for her.
“Hey peach…”
“Eddie…”
“You go first.” I suggested.
“I um, I know it’s a big ask…but do you think maybe I could…you know what never mind.” She shook her head.
“I called Wayne when I was downstairs. I asked him if you could stay with us, and he said yes.” I explained.
“Really? Thank you Eddie!” She sniffled and pulled me into a hug.
“Let’s get you packed!”
After gathering her things, we made our way out to the van. She left a note for her parents explaining that they didn’t need to worry about her, not that they had before. And we headed back to the trailer. Wayne came outside to help bring her things in as we pulled up, when he saw her face, he glanced at me and gave me a short nod. We got her things inside, and I helped her unpack some of her stuff.
Wayne ordered us a pizza and bid us goodnight as he left for work. I let her shower first and then after we’d both showered and brushed our teeth, we got into bed. Only after she told me it was unacceptable for me to sleep on the floor.
“I gave him the finger.” She whispered.
“What?” I asked, confused.
“He was yelling at me and calling me names. I uh, I gave him the finger and told him to go to hell.” She explained.
“You did?”
“Yeah.” She chuckled “I’m not going to tolerate being called useless, stupid, or being told I am too hard to love. Not by them and not by me. Not anymore.” She turned over and smiled at me.
I couldn’t help but smile back. She was so easy to love, and I couldn’t wait to show her that.
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