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leviismybby · 9 months

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"Levi?"

Your voice calls out for him, Levi opens his eyes slowly and you smile at him. "...name..?" His voice was weak, he wasn't sure where he was but you were there sitting next to him.

"Yes?" That soft voice of yours reaches his ears and Levi feels a shiver run down his spine. "Where am...." He looked around, it was raining and he was covered in blood, his body felt weightless. "...I?"

"You're in the same place you were before the explosion." You run your hands through his hair, smiling at him. Levi looks at you, his eyes soft. "Name...." He reaches out and you take his hand, despite the blood gushing from his missing fingers, you don't seem to mind.

"I...the thunder spear exploded.." His eyes narrow slightly but he is quick to change it and look at you softly. "...did you see all of that..?"

"I did." The rain kept falling, soaking both you and him. Levi didn't know what to say to you, he wishes that you two were somewhere safe, wrapped up in each other's arms and cover each other in kisses.

He tries to sit up but is too weak to do so. "Levi, you're injured you can't get up." You tell him and Levi now notices that you're still in the old scout uniform.

"Name..? You're not really here are you?" His voice is sad and desperate. "No, I am not. You're dreaming." You tell him, still a smile remains on your face as you rub his hair gently.

"No...no...Name...I want to...stay here with you.." His grip on your arm is tight, his eyes now full of pain and sorrow, he is almost crying. "Please...I am tired...I don't want to fight anymore...Name...please..."

"If you don't, who will?" You kiss his forehead, your eyes shine. "I know that you're tired, my love." Your hand still holds onto his, despite the pain he is feeling, he is only focused on you, you still look as beautiful as ever.

"The world needs you, Levi. Now more than ever." He closes his eyes, letting himself feel your gentle touch but tears are streaming down his face as he remembers that this wasn't going to last, that you're not really here. It's all on his mind and yet, he holds onto the dream for longer.

"I need....you...that's all I ever wanted....you....a life with you.....was it too much to ask for?" His body starts to feel pain and he knows that he is waking up. ".... I never told you.....I never told you that I love you....and I'll never get to now...."

Your smile still doesn't fade. "Levi, I know you love me. You didn't have to say it, your actions spoke louder than words." You lean in and kiss his forehead again, he feels it less this time because he will wake up soon, he can faintly hear someone calling his name.

"I have to go now, my love." Letting go of him, you stand up but Levi weakly reaches out and grips your arm. "...name...please....stay. I don't want this dream to end."

Kneeling down again, you put the now broken pocket watch you gave him, under his shredded dark green cloak. "You know that I can't stay Levi, not now, not ever." You kiss him on the lips softly. "Till we meet again dearest, you have a world to save now. It will hurt less one day."

His eyes start to close as he sees you fade away. Let him sleep for longer. That's all he is asking for, to see you again. To hold you, to kiss you. But as he hears Hange's desperate attempt to get him to wake up, he knows that his dream had come to an end.

Later he can hear the sound of fire and the forest around him. His face is and body are all patched up now and Hange is sitting next to him.

Levi closes his eyes again until he feels something under his touch. The watch you give him, it's not working anymore and the glass is broken. But how? It flew away when the explosion happened, how did it get here, next to him?

"Hange...how...did the watch get here..?" Hange looks at him. "I found it wrapped up in your cloak, it must've tangled itself there, somehow."

Levi closes his eyes once more and in hope of falling asleep and seeing you again. However, he remembered what you told him, he has a world to save and that's what he will do because despite all the pain and loss, he still has hope.

He knows that he will never see you again in this life and has come to peace with that conclusion because he will see you again, just not here but he will see you smile again and it won't be just a dream that time.

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sednas · 1 year

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OH SO FRUSTRATED

꒰ ͜͡➸ hi my aot fever is back

༘♡ that night you caught your squad captain touching himself

༘♡ ft: levi ackerman x gn!reader

༘♡ tw: NSFW, pet play, pretty boy's dick and moans, he's whiny and I'm not sorry, switch!levi, hand-job + blow-job

one thing about levi ackerman was his frustration. he was oh so frustrated. always with clenched fists and gritted teeth, and this dark look that could single-handedly kill a man without even trying.

the strongest soldier was always left unsatisfied, when he was done with his drink he was still thirsty, after every dinner he was leaving the table hungry. he always wanted more, but he never did anything to quench his thirst, staying silent instead and fulfilling his role as leader.

not once had he ever broken his mask. at least not in public.

"fuck..." he whined in a low voice.

his hands were slightly trembling, he was trying to keep a steady pace but sometimes his hips were rutting against his hand on their own. a few tears were slowly starting to gather in the corner of his eyes. they were tears of frustration, he wanted to feel another pair of hands on him, he was close to his release, but yet he felt so far away from it.

"captain I've already finished writing the report from..." you entered without knocking, your eyes on the piece of paper between your hands.

when you raised your head your mouth fell silent. you blinked a few times, like you were making sure this scene wasn't one of your twisted little fantasies in your mind. the squad leader had stopped his movement, his chest weaving up and down, betraying how much he was close to cumming, his cheeks were red, his mouth slightly agape, and between his left hand his cock was leaking with precum. after a few seconds of awkward silence, you finally spoke, your own words shocking you.

"please, let me help you." you sounded desperate while asking, like you were the one about to cum.

in normal circumstances, levi would have given you a punishment worse than death. in normal circumstances you would never catch him doing something like that, but this night it was different.

"permission granted. come here, right now." he ordered and you immediately obeyed.

he shifted a little, and you sat down on the couch where he was supposed to sleep. you heard him click his tongue.

"pets stay on the floor."

you looked at him with wide eyes, and as you felt your body get hot from humiliation you complied, kneeling on the floor. his gaze went down on you, he was now stroking himself while observing your face. you instinctively licked your lips, his pretty cock twitching between his fingers. a particularly hard stroke made his head fall back on his shoulder, and he closed his eyes for a few seconds.

"fuck... touch me."

even though he sounded like a wreck, it was still an order. he removed his hand, carefully watching you wrap your fingers around him. his chest began to move erratically again when you slowly pumped his cock, gently teasing his cockhead with your fingertips. he couldn't control his moans anymore, a muffled whine escaped his lips and you felt the tip of your ears turn red.

if someone had ever told you that you would be the reason for levi ackerman's whining you clearly would not have believed them. but you were here, stroking your squad leader's cock while looking up at him, his black hair sticking to his forehead, his face red because of the arousal, panting like an animal in heat.

"you're so pretty." you whispered, more to yourself than for him.

he clenched his fists, hips now almost rutting into your hand. it felt so good to finally have someone else taking care of his pleasure, especially if it was you. he jumped a little when you tightened your fist on him, wet sounds were now echoing in the room as you were jerking off his cock a little faster.

"you... ah fuck... you've always been my favorite in the squad..." he confessed, his mind hazy with his eyes shut and his tongue almost lolling out of his mouth.

your lips curled into a smile, your lashes fluttering while looking at him. maybe it was during this exact moment that you realized how much you were falling for this man. or maybe it was during this exact moment that you wanted to see him fall apart for you.

you moved closer, and in a sensual movement you wrapped your lips around the tip of his cock. he moaned your name for the first time, followed by a series of broken whines, his strong thighs shaking while he placed one of his hands in your hair.

"gonna cum..." he tried to speak, his whole body shaking as he couldn't wait any longer.

pushing your head forward, he forced you to take him deeper, shooting his load inside of your throat. you stayed like this a few seconds, gagging on his cock while he was slowly regaining control over himself. when he finally let you go, you were the one out of breath, almost falling on the floor while your squad leader was observing you.

"you did good." he said, and your eyes lit up upon hearing the rare compliment.

you both looked like a mess but somewhat levi was looking like his usual self again, far from the desperate and whiny man you had met a few minutes ago. he raised your chin with his fingers, his eyes lowering to your mouth still shining with his cum for a few seconds before going back to your eyes.

"but you came here without knocking and I can't tolerate it. you will be assigned to the cleaning of the whole camp for six months, and I will personally supervise you to make sure that you fulfill your function."

somewhat it felt like he was engaging you to be his personal stress reliever for six months straight.

༘♡ a lovely reminder that reblogs and comments are highly appreciated ♡

༘♡ masterlits

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4ttack-ur-heart · 11 months

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Levi HC’s- Both Being Short

(Levi x gn!reader)

Warnings: None

——————

It would be on the most random days where you needed something from the top shelf and couldn’t reach it.

“Dammit.” Your fingertips just brushing the bottom of the shelf.

Levi would just happen to walk in and watch in amusement at your attempt to reach the item. You’d be standing on your tippy toes with your arm stretching uncomfortably.

“The hell are you doing?” The Captain would ask with his arms crossed.

“I can’t reach the fucking crackers.” You gritted in a desperate effort to reach the snack.

“Crackers? What are you, a child?” His voice held a slight tease to it.

“I’m hungry and Sasha finished everything else.”

Levi would only sigh and stand next to you before kneeling down. “Get on my shoulders.”

To say you were taken aback. “W-what?”

“Just do it.” He ordered.

You hesitated for a moment before you swung a leg over his head and straddled his shoulders. His arms wrapped around your legs tightly as his hands gripped your shins.

He tried to hide his small smirk when you gasped and gripped his shirt in between your fists as your feet left the floor. Levi stood up carefully and turned towards the shelves.

A slight blush coated your cheeks when you felt his fingers trace at just above your knee.

“Now get your damn crackers.”

Glancing up at the shelf, you smiled when the beautiful crackers were directly in front of you. Gripping the wrapper, you carefully tossed it onto the counter and patted Levi’s head gently. “Okay, I’m good.”

Only he didn’t move.

“Levi-”

“Grab the tea leaves while you’re up there.”

You couldn’t help the smile that broke out on your face as you grabbed the silver canister that held Levi’s precious tea leaves.

“Got them.”

Levi would then turn around so you both were now facing the other away from the shelves and he slowly lowered himself. Your body was now sat on the counter instead of the floor and you watched as Levi stood up to face you.

“Happy?” He asked.

“Very much. Thank you.” You smiled lightly as you grabbed them from behind you.

His hand were then placed on either side of you on the edge of the counter, his arms and body caging you in. You paused as he leaned in and stared at you with his grey eyes.

“Oi-” Levi’s voice cut through your thoughts. “My tea leaves.”

“O-oh, right!” You grabbed the canister that was settled in your lap and held it out to him.

As he took the canister from you, you both couldn’t help the heat in your face when his fingers brushed against yours.

“Just, u-uh let me know when you need help again.” Levi said before returning his gaze to the floor and leaving.

As you sat on the counter and happily munched on your crackers, you couldn’t get that thought out of your mind…

Did the Captain just stutter?

———————

Heyyy it’s been a while since I’ve written shi sooo lets start off my third tumblr account with a cute Levi head canon :)

I’ll start writing more as I get a feel for it again but feel free to ask anything or send in requests <3

#levi ackerman x reader #attack on titan #levi ackerman #levi x reader #levi headcanons #attack on titan headcanons #aot fluff #aot x reader #aot imagines #levi x gn!reader #levi x gender neutral reader

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arlertdarling · 11 months

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❥ A-Z HEADCANONS: LEVI ACKERMAN

( A ) AFFECTION — how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?

levi is not excessively nor outwardly affectionate. he prefers to show affection through small, random touches — a hand on the small of your back as you walk, fingers grazing your elbow as he moves past you, resting his face against your shoulder when you’re busy doing something, brushing his thumb over your knuckles as you briefly hold hands. he tends to avoid showing this kind of affection in public.

then there’s the more frequent but not as noticeable affection, the affection that goes beyond skinship — running you a hot bath after a long day without you even having to ask, remembering small details about you that sometimes even you forget, always finding time for you even when he’s up to his neck in work. the longer you’re with him, the more you realise that levi is actually very affectionate, but only you will ever know that about him.

( B ) BEST FRIEND — what would they be like as a best friend? how would the friendship start?

you have to be observant to notice the shift in your friendship and level of closeness with levi. it happens over time, and presents itself in small increments, but once you see it, it changes the way you perceive everything he says and does.

what starts as similar interests and shared habits, a mutual tolerance and eventual enjoyment in the other’s company, turns into meaningful conversations and long hours of just being in one another’s presence. he’s able to curse insults at anyone, but it’s only with those closest to him that his words will be followed by a slight upward tilt of his lip.

( C ) CUDDLES — do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?

despite how it may seem, levi is actually quite fond of cuddling. at first, this wasn’t obvious; usually you’re the one to initiate it after all. you thought he only accepted it because he wanted to make you happy, but after some time, you begin picking up on his ‘tells’ — small things that show that he enjoys it as much as you do, like how he’s always quick to interrogate you when you move to get up, or the smile he hides in your neck that he thinks you don’t notice. he also doesn’t seem to have a preference on who’s the big or little spoon, as long as it’s you he’s with.

( D ) DOMESTIC — do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?

eventually, yes. levi would really value domestic life, but it would take a while for him until he feels ready to take that step. as for domestic responsibilities, it’s safe to say you will never see a house cleaner than one that levi ackerman is living in. he’s not nearly as good at cooking as he is cleaning though. i think he would be better than average, but only because he’s naturally detail-oriented and follows instructions to the letter. he’ll get annoyed if his food doesn’t turn out perfect, insisting that it’s the recipe’s fault and not his own since he did everything correctly and it still turned out ‘like absolute horseshit. i’d say it belongs in the trash but i wouldn’t even feed this to the rats. what a fucking abomination’.

( E ) ENDING — if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?

the way he does most things: quickly and efficiently. first, he waits until you both have time where you won’t be interrupted or distracted, and then he gets straight to the point. he’s not the type to sugarcoat either. he makes his reasons and feelings clear, but he doesn’t do so to be mean or intentionally hurt you; together or not, you’re still someone he cares about. the situation is uncomfortable for him too and if there was a way not to hurt your feelings at all, he would attempt it, but when it comes to ending a relationship, he sees such efforts as futile. hurt feelings are unavoidable while communication and honesty are what allow relations between people to function and thrive. going by that, he doesn’t see any better way than to just say it how it is.

( F ) FIANCÉ — how do they feel about commitment? how quick would they want to get married?

as with settling, it takes a lot of time. he believes that he struggles with commitment, but it’s actually more like trust that he struggles with, and in reality, he’s a very loyal and committed partner. your relationship never really had an official beginning or established label to commit to, it sort of just grew and developed organically on its own, without either of you meaning for it to blossom as much as it did. there was only ever an unspoken agreement that your relationship was past the point of an average friendship or camaraderie.

marriage is not at the forefront of levi’s mind, nor is it any sort of long-term goal that he aims to achieve. he’s happy as long as you’re happy, but he also isn’t in a rush to make such big decisions that, in his opinion, don’t change much about a relationship. with enough time, he might be eager, but overall, it’s more of a luxury than a necessity in his eyes.

( G ) GENTLE — how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?

physically, levi is mostly quite gentle with you, constantly conscious of his own strength. sometimes he isn’t, but that’s typically when he’s trying to be more serious or stern.

emotionally, he is harsher, words toughened by his bluntness and logic. you’ve become immune to letting any of it prick you personally though. you know that ultimately, even with all his sharp edges, levi is not only one of the most understanding people you know, but also often right about what he says.

( H ) HUGS — do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?

levi is not the biggest hugger, preferring other smaller forms of touch and affection, but it makes hugs from him feel special. they come about when you would expect them — when you’re tired or in a low mood, staring at him longingly because there’s nothing more you want than to be in your lover’s arms — but occasionally levi will indulge himself and hug you without warning, wrapping his arms around your middle, pulling you close and nuzzling his cheek into the soft skin between your neck and shoulder, making you smile and ruffle his hair.

when he’s comforting you, his hugs are firm and patient, lasting as long as you need them to, and sometimes come with a few strokes on the back — but when the hug is unexpected, when he’s clinging to you, pliant and yearning, his hugs are soft yet heavy, as if you’re a mirage that might vanish if he lets go.

( I ) I LOVE YOU — how fast do they say the L-word?

even rarer than a hug is saying ‘i love you’. it tends to catch you by surprise when it happens because you’re so used to his ‘show don’t tell’ approach to love. you might be getting ready to part ways for an expedition, exchanging farewells that you’ve said so many times before that you almost don’t notice it when levi adds on three more words than usual. or you might be blinking your eyes open to the dawn, his bare chest against your back and a warm palm on your hip when his lips ghost over your shoulder blade, trail up to your nape and whisper the sentiment into your skin like he wants to leave it there for safekeeping, so you can trace it with your fingertips and think of him in his absence.

( J ) JEALOUSY — how jealous do they get? what do they do when they’re jealous?

though levi likes to think he’s rational and respects that you are your own person, he does have his moments. he only gets jealous a small amount and not often, but he will never admit to even that. he doesn’t really need to, considering you’ve known him long enough to understand how he’s feeling just by looking at him.

his brows pull together, more tightly than normal, and his jaw clenches and unclenches while he debates whether or not it would be worth voicing the vaguely rude remarks in his head. at that point, you always give him a swift squeeze, bringing his attention back to you so you can flash him a small, knowing smile. this never fails to bring him back to his senses, his adam’s apple bobbing and his eyes darting away, embarrassed.

( K ) KISSES — what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?

most of levi’s kisses are pecks, or short but soft and purposeful. his favourite places to kiss you are your shoulders and neck, particularly so if you’re cuddling. if he’s feeling especially romantic, he’ll press a kiss to your knuckles, palms or wrists too.

his favourite places to be kissed are his cheeks, lips and chest. kisses behind his ears and in his hair will make him nudge you away because they make him flustered, but they’re places he also loves.

( L ) LITTLE ONES — how are they around children?

babies and toddlers are drawn to him, tweens hate him, and teenagers are either afraid of him, respect him or both. levi himself, though, doesn’t have any particularly strong feelings about children, regardless of age. teens are probably the only ones he sort of knows how to speak to, but any younger than that and he’s hopeless. if given the chance, i think he would be quick at learning how to take care of them, and would perhaps even start to see the appeal in having them.

( M ) MORNING — how are mornings spent with them?

mornings with levi tend to be early ones. he likes to be productive with his time, usually rising with the sun, and prefers to make breakfast by himself (whenever you try to help or make it yourself, he always finds a way to critique you). after eating, he’ll shave, wash up, comb his hair, then brew some tea and immediately get started on his duties. on days that he doesn’t have any, he will still wake up early, but he’ll spend his time reading, cleaning or people-watching, sipping away at his tea as the hours roll by.

he doesn’t say nor show it, but he enjoys it a lot when you come and keep him company. whether you rest your head on his lap or just sit in the same room as him doing something else, your presence alone has a large influence on his mood for the day.

( N ) NIGHT — how are nights spent with them?

nighttime is levi’s favourite time of day. it wasn’t always his favourite since he has insomnia, but it’s improved ever since he met you. he’s found that it’s easier to fall and stay asleep with you by his side, tucked into his arm, face pressed into his shoulder or chin on top of his head, your limbs thrown around him like a blanket. he tends to sleep best when he can listen to you talk; when he can let the strain of the day melt away to the sound of your voice and the vibrations in your chest. he is also the most affectionate at night, which gives you something to look forward to at the end of the day.

( O ) OPEN — when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?

even to his friends, levi’s past is mostly unknown. he doesn’t like being asked too many questions, especially personal ones, but the key to his padlocked heart is time; eventually, he opens up as easily as if he had never resisted in the first place.

you had always made an effort not to pry too much, so it took you by surprise when one evening, as you held him, stroking his hair, he said something, and then another thing, until the initial shock you felt slipped away and you recognised his words as the secrets that he’d been carrying, keeping close to himself like the blade he learned to use when he was barely in his double digits. he spoke with a characteristic calmness that somehow felt out of place given what he was saying and how long he must have been turning it over on his tongue before this.

it was probably the most vulnerable you have ever seen him, and you still feel a tender pull at your heart when you remember the look on his face. the way that each time he glanced at you, another doubt would fall away because he realised that maybe he was allowed to show his scars to someone other than the cold eyes in his mirror; that even though life is fleeting, denying yourself the chance to at least let someone see you and experience you, the darkest parts of you, all because you might lose them someday, will only make you regret it once they’ve already gone.

( P ) PATIENCE — how easily angered are they?

levi is an orderly and tidy person with a low tolerance for stupidity, but he’s not so easily angered as he is easily annoyed. his patience is immeasurable when it counts, but when it comes to the antics of others, or mildly infuriating things like the sound of someone eating with their mouth open or when something in his desk has been misplaced by a subordinate, it quickly wears thin. he’s not one to snap at people for such things, but that doesn’t mean he won’t grumble and curse or make a harsh retort.

( Q ) QUIZZES — how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing or do they kind of forget everything?

everything. levi doesn’t want to forget a single thing; any detail or facial feature or moment spent with you. he’ll often say or do things as a result of something you can’t even remember mentioning to him. it warms your heart and makes you want to try your best to do the same in return, just to see the softness of his eyes and that smile he’s not afraid to show you.

( R ) REMEMBER — what is their favourite moment in your relationship?

when you kissed him for the first time. you were shocked to find that levi was not a good kisser; you’re not entirely sure what exactly gave you the inclination that he was at all particularly experienced — the good looks? the fact he’s naturally talented at most things? — but either way, you couldn’t help smiling into the kiss and pulling away to hold back your laughter. he was eager and probably trying his best, but as endearing as it was, he clearly had no idea what he was doing and it wasn’t getting you anywhere.

“care to share what you find so amusing?” he asked, tilting his head in an attempt to look at your face, which you had turned away so he wouldn’t he see your grin.

you regained your composure, but kept the smile on your face. your fingers reached up, drawing an invisible path across his cheekbone and down the side of his face until you were holding his chin. “you’ve never done this before,” you whispered, “have you, levi?”

it stung his pride, of course it did, but he’s not so insecure that he would lie about it. he swallowed. “no, i haven’t,” he admitted, unable to meet your eyes.

the smile on your face grew as you hummed. “i see,” you said, the hand on his chin moving to brush away some hair from his eyes. “i suppose you could do with some practise then?”

levi’s eyes flickered up and at that moment the tension in his shoulders loosened, the weight of his embarrassment lifting from them. “yeah,” he said with a sigh of relief and a bashful smile. “i would like that.”

since then, he’s improved a lot. he’s a quick learner, which you always sort of knew, but it was a pleasant surprise when you found out that he had also memorised and mastered everything that makes you weak in the knees, almost as if to pay you back for making him so flustered back then.

( S ) SECURITY — how protective are they? how would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?

it’s almost instinctual how protective levi is of both you and his comrades, doing it without thinking, as if it’s not something he needs to think about. he protects you both implicitly and explicitly; before and during threats to your safety are made.

having you protect him is more of a second priority. he thinks it’s selfish, but he just doesn’t know if he could handle being the reason you get hurt — or worse — but when you are the one protecting him, he trusts you entirely. he knows when you’re overestimating yourself, but he also recognises that you’re capable. regardless of your military standing, he will always see the two of you as equals.

( T ) TRY — how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?

the value of levi’s efforts lies in sentimentality; how much he does for you, both when you’re there and when you’re not, and how his talent for remembering everything about you shines brightest when he’s pressing kisses to that spot you love or perfecting the recipe to your favourite meal. gifts aren’t frequent with levi, and anniversary celebrations even less so, but they’re always sweet and meaningful and perfect.

( U ) UGLY — what would be some bad habits of theirs?

aside from the obvious bluntness and toilet humour, levi has a habit of staring at people. he doesn’t mean to be rude or creepy, he just likes to observe (or in your case admire) others. he also has a less frequent habit of cracking his knuckles when he’s stressed or thinking.

( V ) VANITY — how concerned are they with their looks?

appearance has never particularly been an area of interest nor worry to levi. of course, he prefers to take good care of himself rather than be lazy or let himself go, but he does this more for his own comfort than for the approval of others. frankly, he doesn’t care what opinions people have of his looks — but whenever you compliment him, it makes him feel... weird? he doesn’t really know how to react, he’ll just look at you like, “okay, and?” because he’s not used to being called things like cute or pretty or handsome, much less extravagant terms like gorgeous or beautiful. he’s not opposed to it, but he also doesn’t entirely get it.

( W ) WHOLE — would they feel incomplete without you?

yes. as much as levi would like to think he would be fine on his own, he knows he would be lost without you or his comrades. he already feels as though he has lost a lot of himself along the years, but those he has left in his life make healing and filling those gaps with new memories and love much easier.

( X ) XTRA — a random headcanon for them!

he has somewhat messy cursive-like handwriting. since he grew up in the underground city, he never had any formal education and was illiterate for most of his life. it wasn’t until he joined the survey corps that he learned how to read and write thanks to erwin making some arrangements for him. outside of his tutoring, levi did a lot of independent practise, using old books and texts as reference, which made him develop a strange hybrid of neat yet messy and cursive yet not handwriting, due to the differing styles of the modern day compared to bygone eras.

( Y ) YUCK — what are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?

he doesn’t like arrogance, pretentiousness and when people don’t clean up after themselves, but probably the biggest thing that levi cannot stand in a person is poor hygiene. it evokes such a visceral disgust in him that he can barely keep himself together long enough to spit out whatever obscene or rude insult his mind has supplied him with.

( Z ) ZZZ — what are their sleep habits?

levi tries to maintain a regular sleep schedule, but sometimes he’ll have paperwork that needs to be done before the next day, so he’ll stay up to finish it. he doesn’t really snore or move a lot in his sleep, but if he’s had a particularly tiring day, he’s prone to sleep-talking. he actually sleeps quite peacefully, not counting the occasional nightmare or randomly waking up because of his insomnia. he mostly sleeps on his side and in complete darkness, though he’s able to tolerate dim lighting if you need it.

#divider by benkeibear #levi ackerman headcanons #levi headcanons #levi ackerman fluff #levi fluff #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x y/n #levi x reader #levi x you #levi x y/n #x reader #levi ackerman x gn!reader #levi x gender neutral reader #gender neutral reader #fluff alphabet #{♡} juno writes !!

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sexlapis · 1 year

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-> to take a life

❀ : levi ackerman x reader

ᨳ ࣪ . cw : gender neutral! reader, reader almost kills someone, levi does kill that someone, descriptions of blood & murder, angsty, hurt/comfort (kinda), implied age gap, vomit, hyperventilation, levi being soft for reader, levi comforting reader in his own levi fashion, idiots in love

ᨳ ࣪ . summary : reader almost kills someone and is sad. levi comforts them in his own disturbing way.

wc : 1k

a/n : this is vry late but thank you all for over 1,000 followers :) i typed this up very quickly. i just had to get it all out bc i am in my levi phase again. he is so papa ♡.

ringing is all you hear. your body trembles and shakes, gasps and short breaths escaping your dry mouth.

tears blur your vision as you stare at the now almost lifeless man before you, lying limp on the ground. blood flows out of his mouth as he gurgles, pools next to his body, coats his shirt, his eyes still wide open. a shocked expression on his face.

your fingers twitch and you drop the bloodied sword from your hand and fall to your knees. your hands are stained red. now and forever.

heat curls from your stomach up to your throat, and before you know it, bile and acid is rushing out from your mouth and splashing to the floor, next to the man you have just near slaughtered. you gasp, heave and groan, crawling backward and away from the consequences of your actions. you’re on the crisp of hyperventilating.

a hand grasps your should from behind and you jump violently. on instinct, you grab the hunters knife strapped on your hip and swing behind you aimlessly. the person grabs your wrist and stops you with no effort at all. your weapon falls from your clammy palm.

“hey! calm down, cadet. it’s just me.”

you know that voice. your captain. levi.

you turn to face him. he looks relatively unharmed and unphased.

levi stares at you, his silver eyes concerned. you must look like hell, rogue painted on your face, and face wet with tears and snot. then his eyes look behind you. at the man you had stabbed repeatedly. who’s life was fading away quickly.

the tears are uncontrollable as you choke out, “i..i killed him. i killed him! i had to..i couldn’t..”

you look behind you and look at the dying man, mumbling incoherent gibberish to try and justify your actions. levi stays quiet.

you’re trying to process what’s just happened before levi takes your forgotten knife into his own hands and stalks up to the half-dead man.

levi kneels down beside him at his head. the soon to be corpse gargles and garbles, trying to lift his hand up. then levi is shoving the knife into the man’s throat. turns it half clockwise to ensure he’s finished the job.

you gasp, covering your mouth. your heart skipping at the display of violence. you knew levi was ruthless and was only doing what was needed, but you couldn’t help your reaction. you weren’t used to this, not like everyone else on the squad was. you would never get used to the bloodshed, the death, the gore. your heart couldn’t handle it.

“you didn’t kill it. i did.”

he says it so casually. like it means nothing. dehumanises the person too. this must be his sick, odd way of trying to make you feel better.

‘no you didn’t kill him. you injured him to near death, with no chance of recovery. i just finished him off. don’t worry about it.’

levi is familiar with this. violence, murder. he justifies it like he has his entire life. he is doing it to survive.

he kneels down in front of you. you’re staring at the floor, almost sobbing again. levi sighs.

to be honest, levi knew you were too soft for this life. he’s surprised you’ve even made it this far. he expected you to have quit or have been dead by now. but he’s not going to lie to himself and say he had no part in how you’re alive today. he won’t lie to himself and say that he doesn’t keep an eye on you more than the others, no matter how guilty that makes him feel. always watching out for you. more protective of you than anyone else. he can’t help it. levi’s fond of you. you softened his old, stone, ancient heart. just a little.

but now isn’t the time for heartfelt confessions. he’ll justify your actions like he justifies his own.

“look at me.” levi commands. when you don’t look up, he repeats himself, softer this time. “_____, look. at. me.”

you whimper and sob a bit and look up at him, eyes red and teary.

“you killed somebody. yeah, you have blood on your hands..but you only did what you had to. you killed him because you had to survive. it was either you or him.” he speaks firmly. “you’ve killed now. and you will kill more. there’s no way around it.”

but i’ll try to take the burden for you as many times as i can goes unsaid.

you whine sadly at the truth of his words. you wish it didn’t have to be like this, but what you want does not matter. you have to do what you must to survive in this world.

“understand?” levi asks, surprisingly gentle.

his change in demeanour should’ve shocked you more, but you’re not. not really. you can’t act like you don’t notice how much more gentle levi is with you. you just assumed it was because you were young, the youngest on the team, more sensitive. you’re not so sure now.

“mhm-hm.” you nod, sniffling and shaking the dizziness from your head.

levi hums and stands. “good. now wipe your fucking nose. jesus christ.”

there’s the levi you know and love. you’re too tired to laugh, so you just huff in slight amusement and wipe your face with your sleeves as best as you can.

“can you stand?”

you nod quickly and attempt to stand on your shaky legs. levi softly grabs the side of your arms and helps you to stand. he briefly caresses your arm with his thumb.

you take some shaky deep breaths and clear your throat.

levi waits patiently until you’re finished calming down. he keeps his hands on you.

“you ready?”

you nod in affirmation. you’ve been doing a lot of nodding.

levi nods once and he’s already walking, guiding you in front of him with his hand on your back. “let’s get out of this shithole.”

#levi x gender neutral reader #levi x reader #levi fluff #levi angst #levi x you #levi x y/n #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x gender neutral reader #levi x gn!reader #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x y/n #levi ackerman fluff #levi ackerman angst #levi aot x reader #levi imagine #levi ackerman imagine

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shy-baby-birb · 4 months

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Cute Leviathan Appreciation Post!

Just a few of the cards in which Leviathan is very cute; except he's cute in all of them.

‐•●🐣●•–•●🐣●•–•●🐣●•–•●🐣●•–•●🐣●•‐

He's so baby... I want Obey Me to have a collab with Twisted Wonderland so that he and Idia can meet and be frens! It would be so wholesome! Our two introverted boys finally making frens!

Interested in my other stuff? Check out the AppreciationArchive!

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http-tokki · 1 year

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Okay? Okay.

~ levi ackerman x reader ~ tags/cw: angst, blood/gore, levi always checks over your odm gear before missions ~ wc: 760 ~ "I wanna make sure you're safe, okay?"

Levi kneels before you as he tightens the straps of your harness. Deft fingers pass over the leather, slipping below the straps, testing the tension and strength of the new buckles. It isn't as if you are incapable of strapping yourself in; you have done this over a thousand times, but there is a new mechanism within the buckles that only a few people knew how to work correctly, Levi being one of them, and he was not about to risk your life over a new piece of metal.

"Levi, I think I can finish it," you offer as his hands slide toward your hips. "Just show me, and I can do it."

He shakes his head and lifts his gaze to yours. "I want to make sure they're secure." Silver eyes bore into yours, something soft and vulnerable hidden within the cold steel. You run your fingers over his cheek, curling them behind his ear.

Levi leans into your touch, eyes slipping closed for a moment before he kisses your palm. "I wanna make sure you're safe, okay?"

His voice is so soft and small. He sounds so fragile, so human. "Okay?" he tries again, fingers tightening leather again. His cheek is still cradled in your palm, and you don't think he will move it until you answer him.

"Okay, Levi"

Levi watches as the leather snaps. Watches as you are sent hurtling toward a tree, watches as you flail in desperation before accepting defeat against gravity as you brace for impact. Levi hears you scream his name before the sound of cracking bones as you hit the thick trunk. Levi sees the blood, then your body tumbling to the ground, limp and unmoving. He's flying before he can think, your name a cry on his lips as he propels himself towards you. Trees and leaves a blur as his vision hones in on you, the entire being focused on your body, scanning for any signs of life. His feet hit the ground so hard his knees scream in pain, but he pays them no mind as he sprints towards you. There's no movement from your body, no breathing or groans of pain. You're just lying there, still and quiet, as if you were a part of the forest, as if you had always been ageless and living among the foliage but weren't living. Levi finally reaches your body, calling out to you as he turns you over, but you aren't there. There is no life behind your eyes as he calls out to others. No, this wasn't supposed to happen. This was meant to be a simple exercise; you would come back home, have dinner, and then go to bed, and everything would be okay.

"Sweetheart, you're okay; please wake up." Levi reaches out and pulls you into his lap. "Come on, you need to wake up now."

His hand strokes down your face, blood starting to drip from your nose as he pushes your hair back from your face. "Please, love, wake up," Levi whispers, ducking his head. "I can't do this without you, please."

Levi doesn't hear as Hange approaches him, their hand on his shoulder startling him.

"Levi, they're gone," Hange whispers, kneeling beside him. "You need to let us take them, okay."

Levi shakes his head, holding you tighter as Hange tries to loosen Levi's grip. "No, they're okay, and I'm not leaving them. I can't."

"Levi, please. Let go."

"No! Just give me some time, and they'll be okay. We'll be okay, and everything will be normal. Okay?"

"Okay."

Hange nods and pulls back as Levi starts to sob. The forest is silent save for the broken cries of a man who has lost everything.

Levi startles awake. His eyes fly open as his heart pounds against his rib cage. He is in his bed, the sheets warm from the morning sun, fire dwindling to embers across the room. He reaches out, afraid to look, and finds nothing there in fear his dream is reality, but he is met with warm sheets and then the sound of clutter in the kitchenette, and his mind and heart instantly calm. Levi takes a deep breath in, the familiar scent of your perfume fills his senses, and he is calm; he is ready to face you and tell you about his nightmare.

"Sweetheart, I know you don't like hearing about them, but I had the worst dream, and I need to-"

Levi's voice fades as he sees Hange standing in the doorway, holding two cups of tea.

"I'm sorry, Levi."

a/n: Please don't come for me with the stupid fault in out stars title please, i couldn't think of any other title. TT

#clearing out my drafts #levi ackerman fanfic #levi ackerman reader #levi ackerman fic #levi ackerman reader insert #levi ackerman x reader angst #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x y/n #levi x reader #levi x you #levi x y/n #levi x gender neutral reader

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quality-street-rat · 2 years

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Y/n, every morning for a week: Bonjour Captain! Voulez-vous couchez avec moi?

Levi, every morning for a week: *rolls his eyes and ignores y/n*

Hange and the 104th every morning for a week: ????????

Y/n, on day 8: Bonjour captain! Voulez-vous couchez avec moi?

Levi, who finally looked it up, deadpan: No, I don't want to sleep with you.

Y/n: Too bad. You don't know what you're missing.

Hange, loudly: Is THAT what that means??!!! 😳

#zip it matt #shitpost #attack on titan #attack on titan shitpost #incorrect x reader #incorrect quotes #aot incorrect quotes #levi x reader #levi x male reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x male reader #levi x gender neutral reader #male reader #x male reader #male y/n #gender neutral y/n #gender neutral reader #x gender neutral reader #eren's band of idiots

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cosmic-slumber-party · 1 year

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Dating Levi Ackerman

⚔️ Levi doesn’t get close to many people, considering that many of his comrades keep dying. When you joined the scouts, he tried to stay away from you, but his curiosity got the best of him.

⚔️ Your skill was good, but he always kept an extra eye on you. Giving out smart ass comments to you anytime he would assist you in fighting a titan.

⚔️ You eventually got closer and closer to him, much to the initial resistance of Levi. He was glad to have someone close to him to talk to, but it still worried him that you were in the scouts.

⚔️ He tries to convince you to quit, but you ignore his constant nagging. He eventually stops, but still continues to watch over you.

⚔️ You confess to him right when you think you’re about to die. You’re bleeding and about to faint after fighting a four meter. He already knew. And you were not about to die, you were just tired.

⚔️ He drags you to his horse and takes you back to recover. He makes sure your dramatic ass doesn’t fall off. He likes you too, for some reason.

⚔️ PDA is a yes for him. It’s nothing flashy, just a casual hand on the shoulder or rustling your hair. He never knows the last time he’ll be able to see you, so he takes every possibility he can.

⚔️ You and Hange get along great, often annoying Levi together with your enthusiastic antics.

⚔️ Dates with Levi are just casual outings grabbing food. Neither of you are super fancy, and you are both content with that.

⚔️ All in all, you are both super happy together and are trying to just enjoy life for as long as you can.

#levi x you #levi ackerman #levi aot #levi attack on titan #levi x reader #levi x gender neutral reader #levi imagine #levi headcanons #levi hcs #attack on titan season 1

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ackercho · 1 year

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Levi craves to be touched, to touch, to feel your warm skin against his. Levi craves intimacy, love, to truly love and be loved but most of it all he craves domesticity.

To wake up by your side, to brew your favourite tea for you, to play with your hair, to hear you ramble about anything that crosses your mind, to clean your home together, not a house, a home. That space between four walls that wouldn't feel as warm and lively if it weren't for the both of you, yes, he does feel that it mostly has to do with you but he can see so much of him too and for once it makes him happy, cause it means he's finally building a home not literally but figuratively. Something that he'd never had before.

He's not alone anymore, and it's the first time he feels that way in a while.

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hiss-kitten · 1 year

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Levi: Nobody loves me.

MC: Let me be your Nobody.

#levi obey me #obey me leviathan #obey me #obey me mc #mc #levi x gender neutral reader #obey me x reader #fluff #obey me fluff #crack #obey me crack

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mikasa-imadebiscults · 11 months

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NSFW Yandere! Levi Headcannons

100 Followers Event: 18/31

(Warning: NSFW, Yandere themes, bondage, degrading, and orgasm failure)

- Yandere! Levi is a mean dominant.

- Yandere! Levi covers your mouth while he is pounding and pounding you so that he’s the only one who can hear your sweet sounds you make.

- Yandere! Levi marks you almost everywhere but he doesn’t leave any marks that are visible to others because he wants to be the only one to see his masterpiece.

- Yandere! Levi will degrade you all the time, no matter what. It’s very very rare for him to praise you.

- Yandere! Levi loves to spank you, uses chains and ropes on you, and pull your hair as a punishment.

- Yandere! Levi denies your orgasm if you misbehave and disobey his command and will make you beg for his dick.

- Yandere! Levi is very protective over you and will get jealous easily.

- Yandere! Levi hates it when you please yourself, if he catches you it will be the end of your walking days for a week.

- Yandere! Levi loves to see you limping to the bathroom after his done with you for the night.

Masterlist

In the Masterlist there’s a link to make requests

#aot x reader #aot x gn!reader #aot x gender neutral reader #aot x y/n #aot levi #levi aot #levi x reader #levi x y/n #levi ackerman #captain levi #levi smut #snk levi #levi x gender neutral reader

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4ttack-ur-heart · 11 months

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Levi Hc’s: PDA

warnings: none, just fluff lowkey

Pairing: Levi x gn!reader

Levi isn’t very big on pda. Yes, he loved you to death but that doesn’t mean he wanted everyone to see him in such a vulnerable state. It was reserved for you only.

You never minded since it was really never anyone’s business to begin with besides yours. Levi adored how you didn’t mind keeping your relationship a secret. The only ones who knew were Hange and Erwin, but you both trusted them enough not to tell.

You both would try be careful when you did decide to show small signs of affection outside of your rooms.

One day, a scout happened to enter the ‘empty’ meeting room right as Levi pecked your cheek. Apparently humanity’s strongest soldier couldn’t pull away fast enough before the scout ran off.

Rumors quickly spread around the base about whether your relationship with Levi was true or not.

Lingering eyes followed you both when you strolled down the hallway together. Some of them would even try to sneakily stay in your vicinity to see if it was true.

After a few days, it was all anyone was talking about.

“Maybe we should tell them.” Levi said taking a hold of your hand, thumb brushing over your knuckles.

You raised your interlocked hands to give a kiss on the back of his hand. “It’s up to you, love. I’m comfortable with whatever you choose.”

Honestly his statement surprised you. You didn’t think he’d suggest it in his own. You thought maybe he’d actually stop being affectionate with you completely unless it was behind closed doors.

Slowly, Levi would introduce your usually personal dynamic in public.

Whether it was holding your hand, kissing your cheek, ruffling your hair, hell even a full kiss on the lips if you were lucky enough.

No one would dare talk about it in front of you, though. Of course, that didn’t mean you and Levi didn’t notice the silly uproar when it first occurred. You weren’t stupid.

Pulling you behind a stone pillar, Levi captured your lips with his and his hand went around your waist. He pulled away with a faint smile, but it quickly faded when you both heard shushing and whispers.

“Oh my god, it is true!”

“D-did he just smile?”

“I can’t decide if I wanna be Captain Levi or (Y/n).”

Turning your head, you noticed a small group of scouts trying to hide around the corner.

You let out a small chuckle and met Levi’s now hardened gaze. “Lighten up, they’re doing no harm.”

“Then why is everyone more shocked about this then when we discovered Eren was a titan?”

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welkinsky · 1 year

Note

Fanfic idea with Levi about him falling for a girl who’s more bubbly than him. She’s been into him since she met him but never thought she had a chance with him.

Levi X Reader | Bubbly Reader

You had a naturally bubbly personality and always looked at the good side of things. Your ideals were to do everything always with love or not do it at all. So even if the outcome were bad you'd always consider it to be good because the intentions and efforts behind them were all that mattered.

When you two first met, you were warned that Levi was one cold man. So you decide to approach him accordingly but after meeting him you could see that this was just the way he was on the outside, his intentions were always good. Yes sometimes he might come off as cold and rude but ultimately it had a greater reason behind it.

Although you two had completely different ways of handling people you both understood each other and made the decisions with mutual understanding when it came to your teams.

Levi has never been the one to pay any attention to any love interest shown by anyone. After working with him for this long, it was clear to you. So you never really thought you'll ever get with him. But that doesn't mean you did not find yourself thinking about him constantly.

Every little thing he did was just so pure and out of care for his team even if it meant that he had to punish them every now and then. You also hated how he always distanced himself from everyone. You knew his past, Hange told you. After that you wanted to show him that the world is not that bad and now he is safe, he can let his guard down.

But the more you tried the more he resisted and pushed you away. But you were determined. Which he hated but you were not ready to give up. You knew nothing will come out of this for you but you selflessly wanted to help him even if it meant that he'll never end up with you.

His POV:

You scared the shit out of him. When he met you his first thought was, "Oh great another rainbow" like an insult. But slowly he started understanding that you were not that different from him. You stood up for your morals more than he ever dared to.

It was always an interesting meeting when you were there. You knew how to shut people up with your very gentle and logical answers and no one dared to cross you because it always meant being ultimately insulted intellectually. They knew you were not someone who would be swayed easily.

But what scared him was that he knew you could see right through his cold persona. He knew it because of the silent smiles you passed as Levi would order his team around because they have been lacking recently.

He hated how you just don't know when to give up! He never asked for the random favors you did for him. He never asked you to stop by and ask how his day was going. He never asked for those flowers when he came back from the successful survey mission.

He knew he was soft with you. He just wanted to let you know that these things were not why he was soft for you, it was because he saw why you were doing all these things for him.

But when you two came together it was a completely different scenario:

Levi, who everyone doubted if he was physically capable of smiling, cracks jokes around you. It took him time but slowly he started saying his jokes out loud when only you were there. He surprisingly had a good sense of humor, he just chose to say those jokes inside his head only.

As you two were getting closer he'd pay more attention to the things that you found interesting. Like you loved flowers but not the for the sake of them but rather loved to know the meaning behind them. So usually you'll get Rosses or Buckwheat and you secretly made a jar where you'd put them once they dried. He found that jar later and blushed really hard and then put it back where he found it.

He then decided to give you flowers of different colors to make sure that your jar was colorful and made you even happier.

Seeing you made him stand up for his morals as well. He never really was the one to pay much attention to them until and unless it affected him and his team but now he understood that he cannot really ignore everyone as well.

He is always so soft to you with the way he talks and treats you. Remember how you treated him before? Yea multiply it by 10 and that is how much of a queen treatment you get.

He also developed a habit of always making sure that he has some sort of physical contact with you to make sure that you were there. Once he wakes up from sleep his hand automatically searches for you on his side and gets a little worried when he cannot find you there. And don't get me started on the disappointment when he realises that you two were not sleeping together.

______________________________

Thanks For Reading and for the ask! I'm super grateful for all the support!

Here is AOT Masterlist

If you liked it you can check out the masterlist too!

A-Z Headcanon

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arminsumi · 1 year

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Fluff oneshot | Levi not admitting that he loves hugs

Just daydreaming about Levi pretending to be grumpy when you hug him. Hange tells you in secret that he actually loves hugs, especially yours. So you hug him to see his reaction.

Cws; fluff

College au!

"Really? But the last time I hugged Levi, he sort of froze up and didn't seem comfortable." You said skeptically.

"No, he's told me before that he loves your hugs." Hange explained, packing away their books as class concluded.

"I don't understand." You shook your head, "He seems to recoil at any touch..."

The both of you left the room, clinging to each other in the chaos of the crowd as all students readied to go back to their dorms or homes for the day.

Hange theorized jokingly, "(I know why he likes your hugs) It's 'cause you smell clean."

"Well, I'm gonna go make his day." You said, swiftly pulling out your phone and texting Levi to quickly ask where he was right now.

You: Vi where u at

Levi: Haven't I told you to stop the Vi thing

Levi: And by the fountain plaza, why?

You: See u there in 5 mins

You: Levi🙄

With that, you hugged Hange goodbye ("You do actually smell pretty clean, Levi has a point.") and ventured to the fountain plaza by yourself.

It was autumn; leaves were fluttering off the trees lining the brick path leading to the fountain plaza. A warm light painted the campus in a relaxed shade of orange, and, in the distance, you spotted Levi's brooding figure lingering amongst the fountain.

He was peering at his phone, subtly smiling at the last text you'd sent.

"Levi!" You called out, so he raised his head and quickly hid his smile by pressing his lips together.

You ran up to him and engulfed him with your arms; he froze up in surprise, but this time (unlike before) you didn't let go. In his mind, the reason that you let go of a hug so quickly was because of his cold demeanor, so he developed a little insecurity because of that.

He cautiously wrapped his arms around you, his touch gentle as if he was handling a fragile piece of art.

"You're in a good mood." He said.

You pulled away slightly to look at him, "I'm not," You smiled, "I just wanted to hug you."

His grey irises glinted; for a split second you saw a reflection of his feelings.

"Alright... thanks?" He muttered unsurely, a shy temperament clashing with his typical nonchalance.

Even though it was the longest hug that the two of you shared so far, he still felt it was too short as soon as you pulled away. He'd never have swooped in for a second embrace, even though he desperately wanted to.

"You're blushing." You pointed out smugly.

"I'm not, it's the lighting, idiot." He sighed, then changed the topic quickly, "Let's go get some tea."

"Mmm, sure." You said.

I have this headcanon that Levi pretends to hate hugs, thought I'd write something for it! ♡

#fluff #aot #aot fluff #snk fluff #snk #levi #levi fluff #levi ackerman #snk levi #levi x reader #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #drabble #wholesome #levi x you #gn reader #levi x gender neutral reader #levi x y/n

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arlertdarling · 11 months

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❥ WRONG PLACE, RIGHT TIME — levi ackerman x gn!reader, swearing, death, loss, mourning, modern au, angst, hurt/comfort, maybe slightly ooc levi, this is kinda sad but it has a good ending i prommy<3 PLS read the warnings and enjoy!

The columbarium looks even more miserable than usual, soaked in rain and grey under the clouded daylight. You’re standing in front of it, one hand tightly gripping your umbrella, the other gripping your late spouse’s favourite flowers even tighter. You’re wondering if it ever gets easier and holding back hysterical laughter at the same time. Of course it had to be raining on the day of the month that you’re visiting their urn, like a scene from some depressing drama.

You always knew that death is a part of life, the conclusion we’ve all had pre-written for us since the opening paragraph. And you knew it was hard. You’ve had distant relatives pass, and felt some of the weight that comes with grief and accepting death; you’ve seen and been told your fair share of how loss changes people, both temporarily and permanently. But it’s clearer now more than ever that knowing something is not the same as being prepared for it. You knew it was hard, but no amount of knowledge could ever make you understand just how hard it really was.

You know now though. When someone dies, they freeze in place and time, into a forever still-life image of what was and will never be again; a catalogue of memories that lasts for as long as you can remember them. They become a concept, an imaginary something whose existence can only be proven by what they left behind in the physical world. A name — and the anecdotes and personality traits others think of when you say it. Preserved in your mind like a pocket of air in ice, they’ll stay; never moving forward, only back to the moments and memories that make up what’s left of them.

You’ve had the same moments and memories playing on loop for weeks. Not really on purpose, they’re just kind of there. There when you wake up, when you check the fridge with an empty belly and no appetite, when you decide to put off showering for another day, when you’re alone, when you’re with friends, when you’re trying to sleep away the feelings in your chest. You feel as ghostly as the images of them that flash behind your eyes, comforting yet haunting all the same.

Wet footsteps pull you out of your thoughts. There’s sweat between your fingers where they’re still clinging to the plastic-wrapped bouquet. You tilt your head in the direction of the footsteps. A man stops some feet away from you, face concealed under his umbrella and one hand tucked into the pocket of his dress pants. If he notices your presence or stare, he doesn’t show it.

You’ve been coming here every few weeks, and every time without fail, this man is here too. At first, you thought he was a stalker, but he never approached you or stood closer than three feet, let alone looked at you, so that feeling was short-lived. He asked you for a light once, but other than that, you’ve never interacted.

You often wonder which one he is there for, who the person was, what his relationship was to them — but you never bother to entertain that thought for more than a few seconds. He never brings anything with him either, aside from the occasional lighter and cigarette packet, and tends to stay longer than you. You’re only really here to soothe a healing wound and replace the flowers once they start drooping. The ones from last month droop more than normal under the weight of their wet petals, and you hope that the heavy rainfall won’t do more harm than good to the fresh bouquet you just put up.

A month later, the sky has just a few clouds dotted across it. The weather has been hectic, so as you’re approaching the columbarium, you’re curious to see how the flowers have been holding up. Before that though, you notice him first, standing in that specific spot that’s all his own by now. He’s dressed in the usual: a long-sleeved shirt, a blazer and matching trousers, all well-ironed and spotless, and a pair of polished Oxfords. You’ve always imagined him as a lawyer or office-worker of some kind; he certainly looks the part, especially with his tired face and perfect posture. There’s so much you don’t know about him, you can’t help pondering over things like what he eats for breakfast or if he has any pets or allergies, and imagining him in scenarios like typing away on a computer at a tidy desk or yelling ‘Objection, hearsay!’ across a courtroom. You’ll never know if any of those things exist beyond your imagination, and you have no way of knowing for certain either, but you like to think about it from time to time.

Two months after that, you notice he’s had a haircut. You can never tell when his undercut starts to get thicker, but once it’s trimmed, it becomes so obvious that it was overgrown before. It’s clear that it’s done professionally, and that he must be particular about his hair in general, if the perfectly combed middle-part and licks of gel are anything to go by. He looks good, you think, but as with most thoughts about him, you drop it before anything else can follow. You watch out of the corner of your eye as he lights the cigarette between his lips, then pockets the lighter and takes in a drag. His form is slanted and controlled in an effortless kind of way. He looks good, even in your peripheral vision.

The following month, you’re switching out the flowers with a different kind than normal since your florist didn’t have your usual. You think it’s the first time he ever looks at you, at least with any sort of interest in his eyes. It seems like a trick of the light at first, the way his silver eyes dart away when you glance at him. In fact, you’re still not really sure it actually happened, but you like to think it did, if it means he’s at all as curious about you as you are about him.

Three months later is the one year anniversary of your spouse’s death. For once, you’re not on your own; their family and close friends hover near their niche, paying their respects and exchanging embraces. You’re off to one side, not feeling particularly talkative or social, which is no surprise given the occasion. He arrives as he always does, but stands further away than usual, and with a more guarded expression. You wonder if the number of people intimidates him or makes him uncomfortable, or if there’s just something on his mind. After a short while, everyone starts to head off for the memorial service. You’re the last to take your leave, looking over your shoulder at him and hoping for a second of eye contact that never comes.

The month after that, he is nowhere to be found. You don’t think much of it initially — he’s never late but sometimes you’re earlier than he is — but he never arrives. You stay embarrassingly longer than you normally would to see if he shows up. He doesn’t, and you chalk it up to some minor thing, like a change of plans or a visit cut short. It isn’t until two months later, when he still doesn’t show, that you start to worry. You’re not sure what exactly you’re worried about, or if it’s something to even worry about in the first place. You start to visit every week and convince yourself that the only reason for it is that you’re just missing your lover more these days.

The relief you feel when you see him four weeks later is monumental. You’re practically buzzing as you walk up to him and you don’t even know you’re smiling until you feel your mouth corners drop at the sight of him. He’s always had faint shadows under his eyes, but you’ve never seen them this dark before, and his gaze is so heavy that it’s akin to a dead man’s. You wonder how much sleep he’s had, if any, and if it has anything to do with why he hasn’t visited these last few months. You wonder and you wonder but none of it leaves the confines of your mind. You’re just strangers, after all; two strangers who regularly see each other, but strangers nonetheless. All you can do is sigh, the joy of seeing him subsiding, and go to switch out the flowers.

“You’re later than usual today,” he says so quietly that you almost think it’s just a voice on the wind that you hallucinated in your desperation to speak to him. You stare at him, waiting for any sign that his low, hoarse words weren’t just a figment of your imagination. He just stares back at you, one eyebrow arched and his eyes expectant.

“Um, yeah,” you say, slowly, just in case you imagined the look on his face too. “I missed my bus so…” You trail off, tempted to smile at the fact that you’re actually, finally speaking to him. The swarm of unanswered questions that you’ve been trying to avoid suddenly floods you all at once. “It’s been a while since I last saw you here,” you say on impulse, but nothing else makes it past your lips. Lingers of why is that? and where have you been? and are you doing okay? die on your tongue.

He sighs. “Shit happens, I guess,” he mutters. His tone is void of all emotion, apart from maybe the exhaustion of someone who has been carrying too much for too long. You’re not sure what to say, about to opt for a hum of agreement when he speaks again. “I just needed some time away. Got two of these to take care of now, after all.”

You swallow nervously, trying to think of how, if at all, you should respond. How could he say that so casually? Like a comment on the weather or an arbitrary greeting? Your stomach hollows at the thought alone. Two urns; two whole people. That’s two names, two different faces and personalities, two lifetimes full of memories and smiles and tears, two amounts of habits and mannerisms, two lists of likes and dislikes and hobbies and pet peeves, of favourite films and colours and animals. That’s two whole people that he knew and he’s standing here like he hasn’t lost them both.

“Spare me,” he says, the flame of his lighter dancing over the tip of his cigarette. “My mother died when I was just a kid, so I don’t remember her. And that old bastard’s lived long enough, if you ask me. It was about time he kicked the bucket.” He tucks his lighter away and exhales some smoke, staring at the cigarette between his fingers. “Besides, it gets pretty tiring hearing the same shit the second time around, let alone the first.” His lips purse as he breathes in and pulls out the cigarette again, along with a slow trail of smoke. His eyes are on you as he says, “You, of all people, should know what I mean.”

Your gaze gravitates toward the flowers beside your partner’s urn. He’s right. It’s comforting the first few times — the condolences, the ‘sorry for your loss’s, the sympathetic glances — but after a while, it loses its warm touch. It starts to feel like an awkward finger, prodding at a bruise to point it out, even though you know it’s there, and all you wish is for it to heal already.

“Levi,” he says next, and all you can do is look back at him, puzzled.

“What?”

“My name,” he says through another trail of slithering smoke. “It’s Levi.”

You smile at this break in character, this rare show of warmth. You might not really know this Levi guy, but you get the impression that he doesn’t do things like this — whatever ‘this’ is — very often.

“I’m (Name),” you say, and that’s all it takes for the rest to pour out. “It’s good to officially meet you, by the way. I know we’ve technically known each other for over a year now but, also not, I guess…” You chuckle awkwardly. “Since this is the first time we’ve properly spoken to each other and… I don’t know. I suppose it’s just nice, is what I’m trying to say? If that makes any sense?”

Levi just takes another drag of his cigarette and for a second you think this is it — you’ve fucked it up by being weird, you could not have made it more obvious how deprived you were of human interaction if you tried — but then he turns to face you. You get a good look at his eyes, almost appearing sunken in by the dark shade of purple under them, and the dips in the hollows of his cheeks that make themselves known in the change of lighting. Then you spot the creases in his suit and shirt, his loose, ungelled hair, the scuff marks on his shoes. And that’s when you think: who am I kidding? This is a man who is mourning a second person before he could understand how to mourn the first. He is just as deprived and sad and lonely as you are; if anyone is to understand you, it’s him.

“The feeling is mutual,” he says. Then he smiles, faint and fatigued, and it feels like a shift. Right then, you feel your heart nudge forward. For the first time since your partner’s death, you feel really, truly present; like all this time you’ve been on autopilot with your consciousness trapped in the memories of your lost love, stuck in moments long gone. You know the deceased are chained to who they were, unmoving and silent and still, but somehow you’ve only now realised that you don’t have to be. You’re allowed to move on.

So you decide to take the leap. “Do you…” you start, and figure it’s too late to go back now. “Do you want to go get a coffee or something?”

Levi lowers his head as if thinking. “Well, I’m more of a tea guy myself,” he says before dropping his cigarette to the ground and stepping on it. He smiles again, and your heart nudges forward some more. “But sure. Let’s go get coffee. Or something.”

After that, the rest is history.

Sometimes you wonder if he ever would have spoken to you at all, if not for you being late because of that bus, or if the entanglement of your lives was inevitable from the beginning; pre-written since the opening paragraph. You were two lost people whose paths happened to cross — and maybe it was the wrong place, but God, was it the right time.

#divider by benkeibear #cw death #tw death #tw loss #tw mourning #aot fic #levi fic #levi fanfiction #levi angst #levi hurt/comfort #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #levi x y/n #levi x you #levi x gender neutral reader #x gender neutral reader #gender neutral reader #{♡} juno writes !!

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