#just thought id mention that here before someone got onto me LMAO
Text
hi do not mind me i just got emo about winter schnee and the ending of v8 and so my first finished rwby vignette has been completed... no v9 spoilers! just spoilers for the v8 finale
~~
in the swirling yellows of the sandstorm, white doesn’t stand out much at all.
the sharp blues of the winter maiden power, though, makes winter a beacon as she lands on her feet outside of a rapidly closing portal. thousands of eyes turn to her, and yet she seeks out the only ones that truly matter in that moment– two pairs of twin blue eyes that are so familiar and yet so distant, the only people in the world who matter.
she had tried to put the world first, once. isn’t that why she listened to james for so long? why she had prioritized her mission over all else? nothing would matter so long as she kept in line and protected the people, but she had slipped, and now…
…and now she has nothing. not james, who had betrayed his own heart and her own in turn, a shadow of the man she once knew. not penny, sweet penny, who had given her life so that winter may take her place as the protector of mantle– a foolish wish, though, since when has winter ever been able to protect anybody?
and not weiss.
winter’s fist clenches against the hilt of her sword, and she brushes through the crowd; she can only imagine what expression must be plastered on her face. her hair slips free of its bindings, and she doesn’t have the presence of mind to sweep it back in place as she staggers through.
people are calling her name. she hears it. unfortunately for them, echoed in the season she was named after, she only hears the word that symbolizes her own failure.
winter.
you were supposed to be good enough, winter.
you were supposed to help people, winter!
“-winter!”
winter snaps out of her dull misery just in time to see her sister’s silly little friends, the ones that had insisted on killing themselves for a chance to save someone they loved, and something inside of her tightens. they came back from that mission with their friend alive.
“what happened?” the red-haired one asks almost desperately, and when winter presses her lips together, she just nods resolutely, seeming to understand. “yeah, we can talk after we fight… this. can we fight this? where’s penny?”
“penny is gone,” winter says, even as she presses a hand to her chest, feels the smallest spark of green lingering there. “you only have me now.” and maybe this time i’ll be enough.
“what about team rwby?” the other asks, dark eyes bearing into winter’s soul– she hasn’t forgotten the way he had called her out on the ship not that long ago.
team rwby. somehow, winter had thought that the other three had made it here– had made it out alive. and yet, as she scans the citizens of atlas and mantle, she only sees the huntresses she had once looked down upon for committing treason against the high council– she does not see her sister’s team.
so they all fell then. winter’s heart sinks even further, and she purses her lips, giving a small shake of her head. “gone as well. i… i had hoped…”
“we can talk about it later!” the girl proclaims, yanking the boy away from winter, blazing determination in her eyes. “right now, we have people to protect! the grimm are everywhere!”
“right.” the boy says, and he settles against the girl’s side, his dark eyes matching her determination. winter would have never admit it before, but she might begrudgingly see why her weiss had found a home with these two.
weiss…
enough. winter shakes her head, and she clenches her fists, the power of the maiden springing to her. “you two get these people into a crowd,” she commands. “scattered as they are now, they make for easy pickings. we need a way out of this sandstorm.”
“yes ma’am!” the girl choruses, and both spring into action– and, as winter watches them carefully, other hunters and huntresses follow their lead, corralling the citizens of atlas and mantle into a crowd guarded carefully.
amongst those citizens are winter’s mother and brother. winter can spot them now: she can see the way her mother’s arm curls whitley against her side, protecting him even as they stand their own in the sea of people. somehow, weiss had coaxed their gentle giant of a mother from her sorrow, a feat winter never managed before she had left.
winter couldn’t tell them of weiss’s fate. not yet. not when the grimm fed on their despair, attracted to their darkness.
one more thing to bottle. one more thing to keep tangled inside of her until it spilled from her lungs like a broken inkwell.
i’ll keep them all safe for you weiss, winter vows, and as she commands the power of the maiden, urges it to take her into the skies, she presses a clenched fist to her chest, holding the last remnants of her grief there before it is all swallowed down. i won’t let your sacrifice be in vain.
and it’ll have to be enough, for now.
#kasey writes stuff#rwby#winter schnee#others are here but implied#btw theres a reason winter doesnt remember ren or nora's names#like hasdhfdshf she knows them as operatives and here she is nnnnot thinking about them like that#she's thinking about them as weiss's friends.#just thought id mention that here before someone got onto me LMAO
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
water polo player! abby
a/n: hey!! i know i said id be posting for ellie first but this thought hasn't left me for a month. i love the though of this oh my god i am feral. thanks for reading! rb or comment to support a lil fic author :) also i'm gonna be referring to water polo as a super gay sport and that's because it is xoxo i mean high contact with buff women. like.
-content/warnings: 1.4k, mentions of contact sport violence, smut scenes (strap, riding abby, nickname 'beautiful', semipublic sex in a locker room, fingering, oral (both receiving), gn reader but has a pussy, mentions of roughhousing in water/ drowning (not really drowning but yk)
men dni.
water polo is one of the most intense sports- it's high contact, rough, with a high probability of being punched, getting a black eye, etc
but when you're as buff as ms abby anderson here, it's not as big of a deal
there aren't really many set positions in wp, but the most important one is center- placed front-and-center of the goal, they're the person everyone looks to to get a good shot
center has to be dependable, strong, and fast
abby is perfect! her drive is amazing (ahem ahem) and she's constantly swimming like crazy to get into position so her team can rely on her
she started in high school, learning the ropes and getting to know the sport
got crazy good, and was definitely a very proud varsity athlete. she knows she's good, so why shouldn't she flaunt a bit?
im gonna be honest she absolutely wore her varsity jacket for way too long during freshman year in college
she joined her collegiate team (possibly on a small grant/scholarship) and met the most amazing team
it's hard to be queer in sports a lot of the time, but her entire team is queer/allied!! she has a space to be herself which she really appreciates
she blossoms on that team
every girl at her college absolutely drops their panties for her im not even kidding. its not even that fun to her because she just wants someone to love, not just a hookup
((that doesn't mean she rejects them all though))
the pretty center draws crowds to the natatorium
and that includes you, of course
you're a friend of the goalie and you're not all that into sports, but once you hear that the hot girl you've been thirsting over in org. chem is there?? it's all over, goodBYE
you are seated right in the action, front row of the bleachers, cheering in school colors, pretty eyes glimmering in the bright sun, sweat drops dripping down the front of your shirt
abby is fully focused on her game but when she's benched she gets a liiiiiittle distracted ngl
like i said though, she's mostly game face
but after a win? she feels like she's never lost. she's pure confidence and she decides to keep the streak going and see if she can successfully get your number
it's slightly awkward because when abby gets closer she sees that wow you are so much more attractive than she first thought when she had chlorine water in her eyes
so she just doesn't ask you out lolol she bails and bugs the goalie about you for the week leading up to the game, asking who you are, if you're coming next time, if you like this or that
her hands are so large and strong from gripping that ball... just imagine what they could be used for !
her thighs are absolutely massive- she has to stay above the water somehow, and the kicking she has to do has sculpted her into a thunder-thigh goddess
eating her out is insane because she fucking clamps down on your head with her thighs LMAO
broad shoulders that you can hold while riding her
strong shoulders that you grip and squeeze onto for dear life every night before a game as she plows into you for "good luck"
-the room is filled with the rhythmic slapping of her skin against your thighs as she grips your hips and bucks up into you.
"taking it so well for me, huh? my little good luck charm..." and you can't say anything. you just whine as you feel every muscle in her body working overtime to treat you just right
the veins in her forearms throb and pop out as she bounces you up and down, touching and squeezing and groping everywhere she can. she looks up at you cheekily, biting her lips and grinning. "there we go, beautiful, look 't you go"
"i'll be sore tomorrow" she says. it isn't a complaint. she says it's her favorite workout
yeah she says she's done but she's also finger fucking you in the locker room during half-time
-"sorry coach, i'll be quick, i promise!" abby lifts herself out of the pool with pure upper body strength, muscles tensing and water dripping off her like some kind of lesbian wet dream. when she promises haste, she means you'll be quick, because you know the drill. you're already amongst the rows of lockers as abby pushes you against them, sliding past your underwear and shoving her fingers in. her thumb is on your clit, middle and ring fingers finding your g-spot immediately and going at it relentlessly. "think you can do 5 minutes for me, beautiful?
-you can because she won't accept anything else. you're cumming all over her fingers, groaning at the overstimulation as she fucks you through it. when you're done, she pulls out, inserting her fingers into her mouth and cleaning them. you shoot her a playful dirty look as she jogs back out the locker room door
-"thanks for the pep talk, babe!" girl.
she wins every game and says it's because of you
it's sweet, but she's just that good of an athlete
but if you met her because you play too? oh get ready for a whole 'nother world
you're her defense during practice, in the trenches with her and jumping over her shoulders to make sure she doesn't get the ball
but she'll do petty shit to fluster you, like turning and kissing your shoulder and holding your hand in the middle of wrestling for position like ???
-"anderson!" the team captain reprimands. she gives a cheeky smile and puts her game face back on, pinching your thigh underwater where nobody can see
water polo players' love language is straight up drowning people. like the coach yells for everyone to meet him in the corner of the pool and instead she's fucking barrelling toward you, wanting to pull you under
when you're waiting to practice throwing the ball into the goal, she'll slide under the surface and tug at your ankles to pull you
when you come back up, she's giggling like a child and acting like it was another teammate
-"abby, i know it was you, you idiot!" you say, grinning
despite not really having jerseys like in other sports, abby will have you wear her team merch with logos
you wear last year's team shirt to bed, her flannel pants to class, her two-piece tops when you go to the beach with her
you go crazy for her when she's in her polo suit. they're tight so that players can't get grabbed, but it's tight in all the right places
it showcases abby's broad shoulders and slutty waist, curving around her chest and tastefully contouring her back muscles
thank god for this sport, you think
she always complains about how the suit rides up her butt, giving her a slight wedgie, but it gives you perfect access to her tight ass
smacksmacksmack
-"can you hold off for one minute, babe?"
-"no."
it's like there's no person attached to that ass. and she's just as obsessed with yours dw! she uses those big hands to grasp your entire cheek and land a harsh slap! on there that makes you jump. she just smiles n laughs
water polo! abby who takes you out to dinner after games and ends up stealing your food because "ohmygodbabeimsohungryyoudontevenunderstand"
it's like she's never eaten
speaking of eating... (im sorry)
she will throw your legs open when she eats you out. if you try to shut them she'll use the full force of her forearms to pin your thighs down and dig her face deeper in your pussy, sucking and licking like a woman starved
who wrote that. i didn't. anyways..
you put her hair up in a fishtail braid for her !! then she'll ask you to put her swim cap on and give you a cute smile when you screw it up
-"i fucked it up! sorry!"
-"babe it looks great" while she's tucking all her shorter hairs into the bottom of it
if her team is winning by a lot, she'll mess around a bit and point at you after she scores a goal, and you roll your eyes and your face feels hot because she's so ridiculous
but you do feel a lil special.
anyways water polo abby mi amor :3333 take me in the locker room
#abby andedrson x reader#tlou x reader#abby anderson x reader smut#abby anderson x reader flluff#tlou2#abby x reader#abby anderson x fem reader#abby anderson x gn reader#gender neutral#abby anderson smut#wlw#moncherellie writing#the last of us 2 fic
521 notes
·
View notes
Text
Now that mw3 is released…bear with me here as I word vomit im so sleep deprived high and sick dksjdjsjsh anyways
I wanna do another comic, idk what but definitely another angsty one, with Ghoap of course (dont expect em so soon lmao it’s going into my wip)
Its just sad to me, I had this convo with a friend of mine and he mentioned how
“Every happy art about them will never be the same anymore”
Because as much as we WOULD ignore cannon, it’s there, one way or another you have to acknowledge it
Every happy art wont be the same anymore because they never got that happiness and peace in the end
And cHRIST does that rip my heart out into million pieces…
Im thinking of drawing the aftermath, more specifically Ghost…..
From the cutscene we see Soap’s stuff….and Id imagine Ghost takes them…maybe not all but some of them
The photo, the watches, the gloves….
The dog tags.
Which is what im planning to do.
Ghost who wears the dog tag or keep it close to his heart in his chest pocket, the rattling and the bump of the metal that moves with him serves as a reminder that Soap—
Johnny is with him.
And id imagine that before any mission, in the short moment of calm, he’ll pat his pocket or take out the dog tag, rubbing his hand over the cold metal, murmuring a small:
“You with me, Johnny?”
And let’s talk about grieve right? There’s an amazing poem I found, here’s what it says
“Sometimes we dont want to heal because the pain is the last link to what we lost”
— JmStorm
And i think that fits perfectly with Ghost.
People say that it’ll pass, it’ll get better but what if Ghost doesnt want it to get better?
What if he wants to hold onto the “what ifs” and “what could’ve been”
What if he never moved on from that and wakes up a night haunted by the blues of Johnny’s eyes
What if he never want to move on and remained there on the concrete floor….
Because he fears that moving on and acceptance will only increase the chances of forgetting someone entirely
Sooner or later, he’ll forget about his voice….his smell….his smiles his eyes his arms his face
And that thought alone scares him, and so he rekindles back with what he knows best
Anger, sadness and pain
Thriving off the anger and going on a rampage, with disregard of his own safety and being reckless
Thriving off the sadness to remember the last sound he heard from Soap…which was faint and distance, but there nonetheless
Thriving off the pain to fuel his reasons for what he became, for what he could’ve done as he drowns in agony and regret
But i think…..in some moments, where the night is quiet and when the bed’s warm….
He’ll think about the good moments and the banters between them, he has carried their memory as if they’re in a gold locket
On days like this, he’ll bring them out and hold them gently
Cradle with such care that his hands shakes, that his face dampens
No matter how bad it was, there is always Simon who loved Johnny
Yeah…..fuck im sobbing skdjsijsjsha OKAY I’LL STOP—
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
🩸finished van helsing’s route!
thoughts under the cut bc it became a bit long than i thought it would be
one thing id like to say first is that wow! playing through the routes is going much quicker ever since ive finished the common route lmao felt like i was playing it for a week, while each route is taking me a day or two (thanks to binge playing now). didnt mind though tbh, i loved the common route. this game has become one where i can smile stupidly at my screen while looking at my fav 2d characters <3
so onto my thoughts about van helsing’s route, yay! i loved the angst and the drama that was going on in it. it was great (and extremely heavy and dark) to hear about van’s past AND LITERALLY how aleister was just. controlling him. i had my suspicious of him after seeing some of the bad endings, and how cardia or someone else would be like, “why are you doing this/why are you here…?” etc. but never expected him to be conditioning van wtf. also was interesting to see more abt finis, im wondering more on what his secret really is!
a little note: ive always been a fan of the more “colder” charas in otome games. cue my username, though now that im thinking abt it, my favs arent always like that lmao. okay ignore this ramble
but that aside, wow. the romance had me mad. not that pressed lmao but there are times where i wanted to shake my screen and yell at van for always pushing away cardia and being so mean TT i think i get it tho, man is completely afraid of losing another person he cares about. trauma! so i was finally so happy when he was like, okay fine i do love you cardia. but then he knocked her out oml. so glad that cardia came in and honestly i want to date cardia i have a fat crush on her. she cared so much about van and was willing to sacrifice herself (which is kinda a reoccurring thing, i noticed. makes me kinda sad bc i want her to value herself more too <3 which makes me happy when she says she and her LI will survive together no matter what. cardia is a fighter and she wont go down!!! love to see how she realizes that she’s capable of love, and that she isnt a monster <3 getting validated by others and starting to realize her emotions!) okay let me shut up now before i write a whole essay about cardia bc this is a van post ???
what was i talking abt again. oh right, anyways! stop it game the amount of angst in this route… im in pain. so i was happy when these two got their happy ending. it actually feels kinda weird now to see van kinda being in love now lmao bc he’s always been so cold and hid his emotions. we get blushing sprite of him and him being more romantic and flirting with cardia and im like. whoa who is this guy HAHA but im not complaining. his extra was great too, cardia was so cute and i felt embarrassed for her as well lol.
and i think that is pretty much what i have to say about this route! played the last couple chaps when i first woke up and am writing this immediately after i finished them so yeah! and one last note… i cannot believe they were robbed of a kiss LIKE ???? pls dont tell me everyone else is missing a kiss too 😭😭 im sad. i want them to hold hands and kiss too okay. that is all!
small update: omg i forgot to mention delly 😭 im so glad that van helsing’s route talked more about delly, his feelings, and how much he’s really been suffering :(((
1 note
·
View note
Text
birthday forgotten - tsukishima kei x reader
REQUEST: “Hi babes! Another Haikyuu writer here! I saw you posted about doing requests and I was hoping on giving you one! Maybe an angst with fluff at the end fic where it’s the reader’s birthday (who is the karasuno manager and is also dating Tsuki cause I love that man) and they (the team) all forget, and when they find other later they feel bad because she has always made their birthday’s special. Then ending in fluff of them trying to make it up to her. Sorry if it’s not good I usually write and don’t request lmao. Hope you see more of your stuff in the future! - @nataliahaslosthershit “
A/N: I seriously can not thank you enough for sending in this request(deadass cried about it for a whole 10-15 minutes LOL - because i thought this blog was gonna flop ._. ) but thank you again for sending this in and i hope i didn’t disappoint you or anything!
-
WARNING: Angsty but with a fluff ending!
WHO: Tsukishima Kei x Karasuno Manager! Female Reader
-
“Morning Tsukki!” you smile at your salty dinosaur who had just entered the classroom. You followed him to his desk where he sat down and placed his bag, taking a book out.
“Morning.” Tsukishima said while giving you a small grin and paying attention to his book.
“Whatcha up to?”
“Reading.”
“Oh- uhm, do you want me to stay here or like?” You said as you were about to get up and leave though Tsukishima’s hand held onto your wrist.
“No no, it’s okay. You can stay here.” He looked at you with his norm straight face and you nodded sitting back down.
“I heard it’s a special day today...” you hinted. Today was your birthday and you were really hoping your salty dino got the message.
“Oh really?”
“Yup!” your eyes beamed with sparkles as Tsukki didn’t pay attention. “Hey are you ignoring me?”
“What? No! I was listening still. Keep talking.”
“Oh uhm, well today is a special day! A very very special day.”
“Is that so?” his eyes stayed on the book as he turned the page.
“Yes it quite is.”
“Well if you’re going to say something that mentions about practice then I think you’re mistaken.”
“No, silly! It doesn’t have to deal with practice. Something more exciting!”
“What is there to be excited about?” ouch.
“Well I don’t know, it seems that I am forgetting something...” you mumbled but screamed in your head to shout out the answer to your question. As much as you love this dinosaur, he sure is dumb to recognize the importance of your birthday.
“Well all I know is that today’s a normal and regular day, and there isn’t something special that I remember happening today.” suddenly the words Tsukishima was saying faded into a fuzzy noise. No longer were you able to connect back or hear anything around you, all you heard was the sound of your heartbeat slowly beating and your hurried breathes.
“Y/N? Hello? Are you okay?” Tsukishima snapped you back into reality.
“Huh? Oh yeah... I’m fine. Class is about to start, I’m going to head back to my seat and I’ll see you later yeah?”
“Okay, see yah.”
-
Class ended awhile ago and it was break. You had just left the washroom to see Kageyama and Hinata together bickering.
“What are you two boys bickering about, today?” as you walked up to them.
“Kageyama is calling me an idiot.” Hinata shot a glare at him.
“Again?” you chuckled.
“If you hadn’t ruined my favourite sweater Y/N got for me on my birthday by puking on it I wouldn’t be holding such a grudge.”
“HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY SORRY!” Hinata jumped up and down.
“It’s alright, Kageyama. I’ll get you another one on your birthday!” you said with a small smile and Kageyama’s eyes lit up.
“Wait actually??? Th-Thank you.” he gave you a small bow and you laughed.
“WHAT? NO FAIR-“ Hinata started saying but you interrupted him.
“I’ll make your birthday even more special, Hinata.” That’s all it took to have stars shine in Hinata’s eyes.
“NOT FAIR-“ you probably shouldn’t have mentioned or said that as they continued to bicker.
“Hey- BOYS!” you stopped them and they apologized. “Get to class, you’ll be late.”
“Yes, Y/N.” as they trudged back to class. Hinata had turned around.
“Oh by the way, Y/N.” maybe he would remember or say something about your birthday.
“Yes, Hinata?” you waited for the words to come out.
“Are you ready for-“
“Yes! I am so ready and excited!”
“See Kageyama, I told you Y/N would be excited to see our quick.” wait-what? I thought he would say something or remembered.
“Tsk, whatever.”
“See yah Y/N!” Hinata waved. You tried not to look upset and waved back with a small smile.
“Bye, Hinata. Bye Kageyama. I’ll see you two at practice.”
You knew these two boys would be forgetful. What type of hope did you clutch onto? If Tsukishima didn’t even remember your birthday, how would the others?
-
“Oh hi, Y/N!” Sugawara had said.
“Hey! Where are the others?” you said as you saw Daichi, Asahi, and Tanaka.
“They’re just coming.”
“Ahh I see.”
“So are you doing anything after practice?” yes, I’m going to celebrate my birthday by myself.
“Uh, just studying for an upcoming test. How about you Suga-san?”
“Good luck with that! And uhm.. I don’t think I have anything in mind today. Maybe just take a shower and sleep when I get home.” Suga laughed and you chuckled a bit before putting a small smile hiding away the pain.
Even Suga forgot your birthday... This is honestly one of the most heartbreaking thing because he’s never the type to forget things. Especially when it comes to birthdays...
-
“Takeda-sensei, I think I’ll head out first. I still have homework to work on.” You said.
“Okay, thank you Y/N for coming.” He said before turning around. You went towards the door to open it quickly as tears were streaming down your cheeks already and you didn’t want to be seen with such emotion displayed on your face. You accidently hadn’t seen where you were going as you bumped into someone.
“Oh Y/N, are you okay?” Kiyoko asked. You wiped the falling tears from your eyes quickly and inhaled a breath of air before facing her.
“Huh? Ah, Kiyoko-san, yes. I am alright. I’m just going to leave early because I have homework to finish.”
“Are you sure you’re alright?”
“Yep! See yah!” As you quickly turned away from her and walked your way home continuing to have tears stream down your face. The slow mind process of doubt, and overthinking started playing in your head as to how this could have led you to such event.
-
“Alright everyone, good job today! Make sure to rest up well, eat a well balanced dinner and get enough sleep.” Coach Ukai had spoken before continuing to speak, “Where’s Y/N?”
“She said she had homework left to do.” Takeda-sensei spoke out.
“Shoot, I wanted to gift her this.” Coach Ukai was holding a bag of your favourite snacks from his store.
“What for?” The team questioned.
“For her birthday... Why else?” Coach Ukai looked at the team in confusion looking at the faces of shock and guilt before widening his eyes.
“Did you idiots forget it was her birthday?!?!?!?” Coach Ukai slightly raised his voice making everyone panic.
“Wait- what? It’s today?” Tsukki checked his phone and spat out his water.
“Holy shit, I’m a bad boyfriend.”
“Tsukishima! How could you forget!?!?!” Yamaguchi yelled at his best friend before slapping him on the back of his head.
“So that’s why she was crying...” Kiyoko spoke out and everyone froze.
“S-She was crying?” Tsukishima’s eyes enlarged before grabbing his bags and heading towards the door.
“Where are you going?” Daichi asked stopping at the door.
“To go apologize to my girlfriend and to spend the rest of the day with her, why else?” As Tsukishima stared down at his captain.
“We should all go and make it up to her. We as a team forgot so we shall go do what’s right.” Sugawara had spoken as Tanaka and Nishinoya had aggressively nodded their heads.
“Let’s go to Coach Ukai’s shop to purchase more snacks and drinks.” Hinata said while looking at Kageyama. “I’ll beat you there first.”
“Not unless I do it first!” As the two started sprinting towards the doors and to the shop.
“You sir,” Tanaka and Nishinoya said while looking aggressively into Tsukishima’s eyes, “Need to be a better boyfriend or we’ll take your girl.
“As if you can.” Tsukishima smirked heading outside before dashing to your place.
-
You were laying in bed after finishing your studies and staring at the ceiling thinking about how today turned out.
“Am I not important? Do they even know when my birthday is? I mean I had mentioned it before. Does Tsukki even know it’s today? Am I not special enough?” all these clouded thoughts were blocking out the noise around you but suddenly your phone vibrated next to you snapping you out of your thoughts. The caller ID showed a picture of you and Tsukishima on your second date at the park mindlessly being slight idiots at night.
“Hello-?”
“Open your door.” Tsukishima’s voice said.
“Huh, why?” As you got up and walked towards the front door.
“You’ll see.” The call ended and you stared at your phone questioning what Tsukishima meant.
You opened the door revealing your boyfriend.
“What are you doing here at this time?” You said looking up at your boyfriend and tilted your head in confusion.
“Hold on, you can come in guys.” Tsukishima mentioned and you cocked your eyebrow at him.
“Happy birthday, Y/N!” Hinata came in giving you a plastic bag. In came the rest of the team and you were suddenly now holding plastic bags and poorly wrapped gifts in your hands as each of them said happy birthday to you.
“What is this..?” you chuckled nervously looking at them all for an answer.
“We felt really bad for forgetting to say a happy birthday to you. Mainly that tall blonde over there.” Tanaka said and Tsukishima sent a glare to the older boy.
“Aww thank you guys... I will admit I was a little upset, but that doesn’t matter anymore because you guys are here now! What are we waiting for? Let’s get this party started!” you exclaimed and their moods brightened.
“I’ll go set up the board games.” Daichi said with Sugawara following behind. The rest of the boys went to set up the snacks meanwhile you went to your room and placed the gifts there before heading to the kitchen to get some cold drinks.
“Y/N...” Tsukishima said out of nowhere scaring you.
“Tsukki, you nearly gave me a heart attack.” you said as you placed a hand over your heart chuckling.
“I’m sorry.” your chuckling stopped.
“It’s okay, babes. You didn’t know.” you said placing the drinks onto the kitchen counter.
“No, it’s not okay! Today is significant and an important day. I am so stupid for forgetting that it was your birthday.” Tsukishima looked down. This wasn’t like your boyfriend. The Tsukishima you knew wasn’t all apologetic and or so soft?
“Tsukki, it really is okay...” you went over to him and stood right in front of him before wrapping your arms around your salty dino.
“But it’s not.” he said mumbling. You sighed before bringing your hands to Tsukishima’s cheeks pulling him down a bit and bringing your lips together for a light kiss and going back into a hug position.
“Baby, it’s okay. I already forgave you for coming and you guys making it up to me by purchasing all this stuff and bringing all this stuff too. I promise.”
“Really? Cause I feel like a shitty boyfriend right now.”
“You will if you keep being all pouty and soft. That reminds me, since when were you so caring and soft?” you push your head away from Tsukishima’s chest giving him a puzzled look before he placed his hand on the back of your head and pushed you back to his chest.
“Shut up.” he grumbled while blushing and you giggled.
“WOAH- TSUKISHIMA’S BEING ALL CUTE IN THE KITCHEN WITH Y/N!” Sugawara said telling the group and from there started chaos.
-
#tsukishima kei#tsukishima x you#tsukishima oneshot#tsukishima angst#tsukishima fluff#tsukishima hcs#tsukishima request#tsukki imagines#tsukki fluff#tsukki angst#tsukki x you#tsukishima kei angst#tsukishima kei fluff#tsukishima x reader#haikyuu#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu angst#haikyuu requests#haikyuu!#tsukishima imagine#tsukki imagine#haikyuu x you
796 notes
·
View notes
Text
| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 | [CHAPTER 12]
pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader
this chapter’s notes; camshow, sex toys, overstimulation, tiniest mentions of daddy!kink, a lil bit of a filler chapter!, this is the most btsvt chapter that it’ll ever get so i’m sorry if you dont like that!! 😭😭, a bit of a lighthearted chapter too tbh to ease everyone back into cherry bomb! 💕 I know its been like two fuckin weeks since the last update which is honestly insane to me! I almost couldnt remember where we even left off lmao kdjfhds 😩💕💕 Thank you for being so patient with me and waiting it out while we had two weeks of Monster Mash! Starting Monday, I’m gonna be going back to my normal posting schedule! 💕 have a great rest of the weekend, yall! 🍒
chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - ?
“Wait, seriously? You want to work here? But--but I thought you were from out of town?”
Jun’s eyes light up with excitement; fingertips crushing the resume you passed to him moments prior. “Um, well, there was a change of plans… and I’d really like to work somewhere where I have a friend! If you guys are still hiring, that is...” You reply back meekly.
It’d taken you all morning to write up a resume, blushing a little when you realize most of your income had been from camming. It’d also made you pause for a moment when you realized that it meant Jun would also know your real name too; as well as everyone who came through the diner and all of your coworkers.
“Yeah, of course! I, um, just give me a second to pass this to my manager, okay? I’ll be sure to put in a good word!” Jun shoots you a wink before he turns to leave.
You take the opportunity to sit down at a nearby booth, fishing for your phone to text Seungcheol.
‘I think I might be getting the job!!’
cheollie ✨: oh? Not that I doubted you, but is it confirmed already?
‘Mm… Jun is trying to put in a word for me! But I’m confident!’
cheollie ✨: thats my baby ;)
You hear someone call your name hesitantly, only to find Jun standing a few feet away looking at you sheepishly. “Um, sorry, your name’s on the resume so I figured…”
“Oh! Yeah, it’s fine!” You awkwardly giggle. “I figured writing ‘Cherry’ as my name wouldn’t be too smart when you need to cross-reference my ID if I get the job.” Jun laughs as he takes the seat across from you in the booth, papers in hand.
“Well, I convinced my manager to let me interview you. Told him that if we’d be workin’ together that I’d want to scope you out for myself! He bought it, can you believe it!?” Grinning, he sets your crumpled resume down next to a small stack of papers. “I don’t doubt you’d pull your weight around here but I do have to ask… Why here of all places? I thought your, uh, other job was enough? Or I guess I assumed...” You bite your lip, flip-flopping on whether or not you wanted to let him know exactly what happened that led to your sudden decision.
“Um… There were just some big life changes I had to make on the fly and I’ll be living around here now! I’m trying out some new things… I also figured if I worked with you, then you’d know my schedule the best too! And you seem like a really nice and cool guy.”
Jun nods, smiling back at you.
“You got that right!”
“You’re seriously going to start working there?” Jeongguk raises a brow, cables in hand as he sets up the extra PC in his streaming room. “And the guy working there knows you? That doesn’t bother you?”
Seungcheol laughs under his breath, “Yeah and he knows me now too. And knows I’d kick his ass if he tried anything.” You pout from your place in the expensive gaming chair; eyes focused on Jeongguk who shimmies under the desk to start plugging in the cables.
“Well, yeah he does know me, but he’s also one of my regulars and knows the schedules I’ll need, so I think we can trust him!” They both nod and Seungcheol is quick to cross the small room until he’s right behind you.
“He seems like a nice guy though, I don’t think we have to worry.”
Jeongguk slides out from underneath the desk, dusting off his pants as he stands. “And if he does end up being a weirdo, there’s always a place for you at the roller rink!”
Seungcheol rolls his eyes, hands gripping onto the backrest of the chair.
“No.”
“Hey guys, welcome back to Golden Closet Gaming! I’m JK, your regular host! Today, we have a suuuper special guest! Why don’t you introduce yourself, pretty lady~”
You take a deep breath as you lean in close to the mic; somewhat nervous and a little out of your usual element. “Hi everyone~ I’m Cherry! Some of you may know me from, um, the other side of the streaming-sphere but I’m joining my friend today in hopes of boosting our channels together and having a ‘lil bit of fun!!”
Seungcheol sits at the side as he watches the two of you; a small smile painted on his lips at the way the two of you seem to fall into your characters easily despite the somewhat different platforms and influx of different viewers.
The sound of donations and comments pour in a lot quicker than Jeongguk, himself, is used to; eyes wide and eyebrows raised as he pauses to watch them flood the screen.
sleepy_wonu has donated $100
xcaliburDK has donated $100
sleepy_wonu: never thought i’d be donating here but here we are
xcaliburDK: i was always a silent watcher but u kno i had to donate for my favorite girl!
seokGENIE: i feel like i’m entitled to something for taking your shift so i wont be donating, sorry pretty girl
j__min: can’t believe this kid got a collab with you before i did :(
j__min has donated $200
dtsug__a: i dont normally watch streams either but im curious
Jeongguk laughs, still in disbelief as the donations continue to pour in from a combination of your viewers and his. He always made a decent amount from his viewers but he couldn’t deny the pull you had from your viewers as well. “Wow, um okay, my donations are adding up a lot quicker than they usually do. That’s… Hey, whaddya say to streaming with me regularly?” He jokes.
A shy laugh bubbles up your throat; ears and cheeks burning hot at the idea. You had never collabed with any other streamer before and despite your initial hesitance and unsureness, you too, were shocked to find how well the two of you were doing without your usual content.
“Erm, I’m not very good at gaming though… I don’t think your viewers would like it very much...”
seokGENIE: thats ok jk sucks at gaming too, it wouldnt be too different
j__min: lmao fkjdhf
dtsug__a: does he get roasted often on this channel? If so i’ll be tuning in more often
dtsug__a has donated $100
dtsug__a: for your troubles, pretty gal
“On second thought, let’s let this be a special occasion, huh? Maybe collabs for the holiday, Cherry?” Jeongguk grumbles and Seungcheol has to bite his lip to keep in his laughs from his side of the small room. You start to feel more and more comfortable at the lighthearted atmosphere; tucking a stray hair behind your ear before you lean in towards the mic again.
“Ah! Speaking of, don’t forget to tune into my camshow tomorrow~! JK and I will be gaming on there as well but… with some added fun to match my channel~! 21 and over only~” You blink at the computer screen, still a little unused to the idea that you weren’t technically being filmed. Although, it was a nice change for once; not needing to be all done up for a show and simply just talking to your viewers and reading comments.
sleepy_wonu: is dom daddy gonna be on the show too?
“Dom daddy? Oh you mean Se---”
“Yes! Kind of!” You cut off, laughing nervously. Nobody knew Seungcheol’s name except for Jun and you were trying to keep as much of him private as possible, until he was ready. “In a sense, he’ll be there! You guys will just have to tune in to find out!”
Jeongguk laughs into his own mic, scooting in closer to his desk as he loads up the game.
“I think that’s enough chatting for now, huh? Let’s get started! Tonight we’ll be playing Phasmophobia! We’ll be playing something more lighthearted on Cherry’s channel, as she requested. So tonight we’ll be playing something I picked out. You ready, baby?”
Seungcheol narrows his eyes, quietly taking a sip of his water.
“Ready when you are!”
“I gotta say, sweetheart, for someone who doesn’t play video games too often, you’re not too bad.” Seungcheol comments, nodding his head in amazement as the three of you exit Jeongguk’s PC room. He’d had a hard time keeping in his laughs as he watched from the side and he had to admit, you were even cuter when you were outside of your usual element.
“I have to agree with hyung, but maybe it was also the adrenaline and screaming that kept you goin’.”
The two males share a laugh as you pout and plop down onto Jeongguk’s living room sofa. “Hey, how were the numbers for tonight, by the way?” You ask quietly.
“Honestly? I think we made almost triple of what my channel usually sees. I know I don’t really make a ton off of my streams since I don’t really do anything, like, crazy but shit… Even I’m shocked at how much we made.”
Seungcheol’s lip ease into a smirk; Jeongguk really had no idea how much the two of you had made off of a couple videos alone.
“We still have one more stream to do and then we can just pool up the money and split it down the middle!”
Jeongguk nods, stretching as he sits himself down onto the other end of the sofa. “I’ll bring my spare PC stuff so we can set up a little early tomorrow, if that’s cool with you two? Maybe have some food before we get started too ‘cause god knows I’m gonna be starving.” You look to Seungcheol who nods and checks his phone for the time.
“Yeah, we need to set up the cameras and lighting a little differently too so we’ll probably start earlier. Just text me before you drive over so we know when to expect you.”
You yawn next to Jeongguk; adrenaline having worn off as the tiredness finally sets in. “It’s so weird, usually I’m only just starting my stream right around this time but I’m so exhausted now...” Seungcheol’s eyes from cute crescents as he smiles down at you, stepping closer as he goes in to smooth down your hair.
“You really were screaming a lot, to be fair. How about we head home and you can sleep in the car?”
“Okay~”
Seungcheol lets you sleep in on Saturday morning, watching as your chest rises and falls with soft breaths.
He takes a moment to think over the last few weeks of his life and he can’t help the disbelieving expression that crosses his features when he realizes just how much had changed over the course of just weeks.
When the two of you had met, he wasn’t expecting much. He expected the two of you to hang out for a few days before you went home and forgot he even existed outside of your camshows and the comments section. But now that so much had happened between the two of you, Seungcheol felt a deeper connection to you and felt the need to protect you even moreso than ever.
He sees you shift slightly, sleepy eyes blinking open as you peer up at him. “Good morning, sweetheart.”
“Mm… g’morning ‘cheol…”
You grimace sleepily at how hoarse your voice sounds, “Ew, I sound so… gross.”
Seungcheol moves to get out of bed, leaning in to kiss your forehead before he shuffles towards the bathroom. “I’m going to wash up but you can stay in bed if you like. I’ll make you some tea for your throat, okay? We have a long day ahead of us and I don’t think you wanna sound like that later tonight.”
Nodding sleepily, you lay back down as you yawn and let the sleep take over once again.
“Are you really sure ‘bout this?” Jeongguk takes a bite of his pizza as he watches Seungcheol pull the desk closer to the bed.
“What do you mean?” You ask; readjusting the light that was closest to the younger male. “Like, I dunno, I’ve never been on a cam show like this so… I mean do I have to do anything different?” You laugh lightly as you go in to pat Jeongguk on the shoulder.
“No, just be you. And we went over it already earlier, the only thing that’s different is going to be me! No weird tricks or anything, I promise.”
Seungcheol places another monitor on the tabletop, grunting as he goes. “Yeah, and in all honesty, I would hate to have to watch you get off, ‘Guk.”
“Oh shut up, hyung. You say that like I don’t know what you’re packin’ under those sweats. I think it’d only be fair! Just two bros getting to know each other.” Seungcheol pretends to gag just as you double over in laughter. “No, absolutely not, ‘Guk. And also, nobody told you to watch those videos!”
Jeongguk pauses, lips pressing into a firm line. “You right, you right…”
You leave to get changed just as Jeongguk starts to help Seungcheol set up the last few bits of equipment. He leans in close to the older male, eyes glancing around the space to make sure you were completely out of earshot. “Hey, hyung, honest question.”
“Sure.”
“Are you really okay with all this?” Confusion crosses Seungcheol’s features as he raises an eyebrow at the younger male. “What’s ‘this’ exactly, ‘Guk?”
“Y’know, her living here and you camming all of a sudden, among everything else really… And the question if you’re in love with her which, by the way, we still all know that you are.”
A blush coats Seungcheol’s skin, fingertips almost losing grip of the camera he was about to mount to the desktop. “Listen, yes, okay, I do… like her a lot. But she’s going through a lot right now too and I don’t want to freak her out either. There’s a lot of life changes we’re going through so I’m just going to ...wait.”
“You’re a good man, hyung.”
“Hi everyone!”
You wave to the camera, winking and blowing a kiss to the camera propped up between the two monitors on the table. “I know, this setup is a little wild and not my normal but this is part two of my collaboration with Golden Closet Gaming! Do you want to introduce yourself to those who missed our other stream?” You turn to Jeongguk who nods; this time a little nervous as he stares directly into the camera.
He’d said he was okay with being filmed since he wasn’t actually part of any sexual acts, but he still found himself a little camerashy now that the two of you were live.
Seungcheol sat directly behind the monitors and cameras; his phone open to your cam show to watch from a different angle.
“Ah, hello! I’m JK of Golden Closet Gaming! I’m a friend of Cherry’s and no we won’t be fuckin’.” Jeongguk ends with an innocent smile that has you holding back your laughter.
therealchan99: i dont think dom.cheol would like that very much anyway
universe_WZ has donated $100
universe_WZ: unless he’s into watching
dom.cheol: no
alphagyu97: oh shit hes back
angelhan: huh, so hes not there?
“Oh, he is! He’s behind the camera~” You gesture beyond the camera to where Seungcheol sits and he leans over to quickly wave upside down in front of the camera to prove his existence.
j__min: ah, of course~ we know your daddy would never let you play with anyone else~
j__min: he likes you too much ;)
emerald.tae: oh? also hi new watcher!!!
emerald.tae: ur videos were great!!
emerald.tae has donated $200
therealchan99: im gonna need to start fighting ppl for ur attention i swear
gentleman_josh95: implying u had it
chwenon: yooooooo lmao
“You guuuuys, be nice! Just for that, I’m gonna be sending you a special private pic, okay ‘therealchan99’? You guys pick on him too much!” You pout.
therealchan99: hahaahhAHhhahaHAAHAA FUCKIN LOSERS SUCK ON THAT
tangerine_kwan: bruh
chwenon: damn guess we should can it
You respond to a few more comments as Jeongguk sits by and watches the way you interact with your viewers. He also takes note that you had a donation minimum before you started actually doing anything on your channel and that you’d already hit it pretty quickly.
“Okay! I think we should start now, huh? Oh, I should explain what’s going on!” You giggle cutely, settling into your space on the bed. “So JK and I will be playing this stilt man game! We have to get our character to the finish line without falling or the level restarts! JK has to get to level 30 and I have to get to level 20 and whoever reaches their goal first, wins!”
“I have a higher level to reach ‘cause our skillsets are different and we all know I’d smoke her if we both had to reach the same level.” Jeongguk grins.
seokGENIE: sure
seokGENIE has donated $69
sleepy_wonu has donated $100
hoshi_tiger_xx has donated $100
“And the reason why ‘dom.cheol’ is behind the camera is because...” You pause, eyes twinkling with playfulness as you stare directly into the lens. “In order to get me to do my best, he’ll be controlling a special toy I’m wearing~ Hehe, if my character falls, he’ll raise the vibration setting each time as punishment and leave it on until I cum…”
“Which we are assuming will be a lot. Unfortunately, no medic on standby.” Jeongguk jokes. Seungcheol rolls his eyes as he laughs from behind the camera.
“We have a safeword, don’t we, sweetheart?” You nod in response, “Mmhmm!”
“Let’s get it!”
It takes all of four stages before your character falls for the first time.
Seungcheol turns the vibrating panties on and you immediately jolt as you try to keep your character upright on screen. “Oh, f-fuck!”
kitty_junjun: uh ohhhh it begins
artist8hao: i don’t think she’s gonna last.. babygirl is so sensitive, she’ll probably cum soon
xcaliburDK: i’m giving it until level 6 before she cums
emerald.tae: oh are we placing bets
“Noooo~ Don’t place bets on me, I’m weak!” You whine; already squirming as the vibrations attack your clit. Seungcheol grins from in front of you as Jeongguk laughs from your side, already on level 7 on his own screen.
You had to admit, it was a little weird for someone else to be in the room with you while Seungcheol basically used a toy on you, but the younger male seemed to not care about it at all. Although, he had already seen most of you and Seungcheol at this point.
Your fingertips are shaky on the keyboard and computer mouse; already fearing the way Seungcheol’s eyes almost become darker the longer you struggle.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart? Is the game too hard?”
“A-ah, n--no, it’s not that b-bad…” Squirming, you grind down a little harder onto the bed just as your character falls on screen and Seungcheol raises the setting to the second highest in the blink of an eye. “Ngh, fuh---fuck!”
“Uh oh~ Should I slow down to let you catch up?” Jeongguk teases.
“N-no, I can beat y-you!”
The donations and comments pour in as you struggle to keep your calm and get your character to the finish line; letting out a sigh of relief as you finally enter the fifth level. You let out a choked sob as you already feel your panties starting to stick to you like a second skin from how wet you were getting and Seungcheol can’t help but chuckle.
“You know, you’re technically allowed to cum whenever you want. It’ll just… slow you down, is all.” Grinning, he watches as you look beyond the camera towards him as you pout.
“But I--I wanna win!” You cry; palms clammy as you try to rush through the fifth stage, only for your character to fall almost immediately. “Nooo~”
Seungcheol clicks the vibrator to its highest setting and your body goes rigid as the vibrations wreck your body. You start to grind against the toy as you chase your orgasm and forget about the game almost completely. In a perfect world, Seungcheol would have his cock snug between your walls, but instead you clench around emptiness as you crave his cock.
artist8hao: ah shes already cumming lol
seokGENIE: on level 5? Fuck
universe_WZ: her cute lil cunt cant take it, poor babygirl
seokGENIE has donated $50
emerald.tae has donated $75
alphagyu97: cum baby, u kno u wanna
alphagyu97 has donated $75
A small choked whine is all you can manage before you do cum; eyes clamped shut and fingers wrapped tight around the computer mouse as the waves of pleasure crash down onto your body. Donations and comments flood the side of the screen from a combination of your viewers and Jeongguk’s as they watch your face contort in pleasure.
“Ah, sweetheart, you’re really falling behind~ JK is going through the stages so quickly while you’re sitting there cumming~” Seungcheol teases. He licks his lips, simultaneously wishing you were sitting on his cock while you played your game.
That’d have to be for another time, he thinks.
It takes a second for Seungcheol to turn the toy off and your body immediately slumps forward as you catch your breath. “Ngh, d-damn it…” You grimace when you re-adjust yourself and find your panties soaking wet.
“I’m already on level 17, babe. You gotta catch up!”
You can only groan in response, flexing your clammy fingers before you try to focus on your own screen again.
kitty_junjun: oho looks like our princess is focused now
tangerine_kwan: u got this baby
j__min: show ‘em who’s boss, babygirl
You tune out the sounds of the comments and donations as you manage to get yourself to level eight without falling, but level nine proves to be just a little too hard as your character falls and Seungcheol turns the vibrator back on to its lowest setting again.
“Be careful, baby. Wouldn’t want to fall behind again would you?”
Seungcheol feels his cock throbbing in his sweats as he watches you bite your lip. And for the first time all night, he wishes that Jeongguk would just win and go home so that he could have his own private time with you.
“I’m on level 22 already. D’you think she can even catch up?” Jeongguk teases. He spares you a side glance, taking in your form slumped closer to the table as you try to fight the vibrations.
Your body was already extremely sensitive from your first orgasm and you quickly losing your confidence as you struggled to keep your character upright. If you came even just one more time, there was no way that you’d be able to beat Jeongguk with how quickly he was going through the stages.
therealchan99: she’s cumming just as quickly as JK is getting thru the stages hfdsf
gentleman_josh95: shes so cute when she cums tho
angelhan has donated $50
angelhan: thats the real prize angel
“T-thank you…” You whimper out, fingertips twitching against the keyboard and mouse as you focus your attention to the game to the best of your ability.
You manage to get to level ten with no more issues just as Jeongguk gets to level 25 and you let out an exasperated sigh as your character falls over again. “Uh oh~ I think I’m gonna win!” Jeongguk cheers; giddiness washing over him as he works to get to the end.
“Nooo~ That’s n-not, ah, fair!” Whining, you grip the mouse tighter as Seungcheol raises the setting on the toy again, watching as you rub your thighs together at the feeling.
hoshi_tiger_xx: sadly nothings fair in the gaming world babe
hoshi_tiger_xx has donated $50
dtsug__a has donated $50
dtsug__a: cute for thinkin so tho
“I don’t th--think I can, hah, c-catch up...” You moan. Your character on screen falls over one more time and all you hear is Seungcheol’s small ‘tsk’ under his breath as he sets the vibrator to the highest setting and leaves it there.
It doesn’t take long before the vibrations prove to be too much for you and you let go of the keyboard and computer mouse as your hands ball up into fists on top of the table.
The pleasure washes over you in sharp pin pricks; small whines and whimpers falling from your lips as your eyes completely clamp shut.
Jeongguk lets out a surprised noise at the way the donations and comments almost make the screen lag and for the first time, his character on screen falls over at his split second loss of focus.
“Ah, fuh--fuck!” You start to squirm once the pleasure starts to bleed into overstimulation and Seungcheol is quick to respond, “You’re gonna cum one more time as punishment for giving up, sweetheart.”
alphagyu97: ooo she's in troubleeee
gentleman_josh95: ahhh daddy still has to punish you after all
seokGENIE: damn is this what this channels abt? this is hot
artist8hao: babygirl always misbehaves
chwenon: she seems to like it too much 😏
dtsug__a: hooooo shit, thats hot
“It’s n-not my f-fault, hah, JK is j-just good at g-gaming...” You mumble.
Jeongguk manages to get to level 30 within the time you sit and grind against the toy; small noises of excitement falling from his lips as he cheers for himself!
“Aww, poor baby. Maybe you’ll focus a bit better next time, hmm?”
You nod frantically as a small tear slips down your cheek and your lips part in a breathy moan. “God, I--I’m c--cumming!”
Your body locks up, ears ringing as you cum one more time. Seungcheol wishes he could work you through it; hands massaging your skin as you take your pleasure or thrusting his cock into you as he chased his high with you.
Instead he watches from across you as your body twitches as your face contorts in unadulterated bliss, licking his lips the entire time with images of what could’ve been dancing behind his eyelids.
Jeongguk watches as the donations far surpass what the two of you made on his channel; brows disappearing into his poofy head of hair. “Wow, uh, y’all seem to really like it when she gets punished, huh?” He mutters under his breath.
“Don’t you?” Seungcheol teases.
“Truuuuue.”
A garbled moan has both of their attention on you as you try to shy away from the toy still vibrating against your overly sensitive clit. “Ah, ‘m too sen--sensitive now...” You cry.
Seungcheol turns the toy off completely as your chest heaves in deep breaths; pouting at the fact he wasn’t able to enter the camera frame to take care of you.
Jeongguk grimaces slightly at the way your body sways in tiredness next to him, unsure of what to do next now that he’d won.
“Haha, um, medic?”
#cherrybomb!cheol#seungcheol smut#scoups smut#seventeen smut#svt smut#scoups scenarios#scoups imagines#seungcheol imagines#seungcheol scenarios#seventeen scenarios#svt scenarios#seventeen imagines#svt imagines#svt fic#seventeen fic#scoups#seungcheol
377 notes
·
View notes
Text
“I Love You Too, Mr. Superstar.”
Harry Styles x Reader
requested by @softiebowen
//technically the prequel to “Too Early for Another One?” but id recommend reading that one (here) first so you understand what’s happening//
//17 y/o harry reconnects with 16 y/o y/n, realizing that she’s it for him//
//smut (exp. harry with virgin y/n) & fluff//
//this is 4,820 words so strap yourself in lmao//
The week came and went quickly as the hot New York weather only got hotter. It was Saturday, so you weren’t mad when you woke up at 9:30, starting your routine a little bit later after you’d had your coffee.
Checking your phone didn’t really cross your mind, so you carried on your morning routine as usual. You brushed your teeth and ate breakfast, greeting your mom with a cheery ‘good morning’ and going out to the roof of your apartment building to do some yoga.
It was still early, yet the sun was beating down on you, making you long for a long shower. You did just that, letting the water cascade down your body as you washed your hair and shaved your legs.
It was going to be a good day.
After showering, you picked up your phone, checking any texts from friends who wanted to hang out this weekend, but one particular text caught your eye.
‘coffee shop harry <3′
hey...
i know it’s been a few, but i’m in town and wondering if u want to meet up ?
You were shocked, to say the least. You’d barely heard anything from him since you met last May; just a few ‘hey’s and ‘what are you up too?’s were exchanged in the two fleeting months.
After about a month of waiting for him to call or text, he didn’t really cross your mind. Sure, you had seen his face on billboards and posters around the city, reading ‘One Direction, the Hottest Boy Band of the 2010′s’. You would grin to yourself as you remembered the words ‘i’m in a band’ rolling off his tongue in that smooth British accent.
If you were being honest with yourself, you hadn’t really bothered to listen to his music. Not that you didn’t want to, you just didn’t really want to think about that day when you met him.
You had given him a tour of New York City, or as you would say, ‘all the places that matter’. Then Harry would laugh and you would admire the sparkle in his green eyes and the dimples in his rosy cheeks.
He had told you a lot about himself, too. And, yeah, you had a good amount of assumptions about a British boy wandering the streets of New York City alone.
One of them being that he liked you.
You were proven wrong when you thought he was going to kiss you, but instead gave you an awkward hug. Your lips were met with his chest and you had never been more embarrassed in your entire life.
Thus why you were so confused at his text.
sure, want me to give u another tour lol
Your phone dinged not even a minute later, Harry eager to see you again. He felt terrible about ghosting you, but he was so caught up in this newfound fame that he really didn’t know what to do with himself. Let alone someone else.
After the night he met you, he had wanted to kiss you so badly, but he knew he couldn’t. For Christ’s sake, he lived in a different country. You were still in school and you had a long future ahead of you. He thought that you were the smartest girl he had ever met. Not to mention the most beautiful.
r u good with dinner ? and maybe a tour of the harbor 😂😂 pick u up at 6
You couldn’t help but feel ecstatic at his message. You had seen tabloid pictures of him, but they really couldn’t capture the sparkle in his eyes when he laughed or the blush that crept up his cheeks when he was nervous.
sounds good
You replied almost coldly, hoping to not make your excitement obvious. You weren’t sure if this was a date? Probably not, you thought.
Around 3 was when you started to panic. You still didn’t know what you were going to wear or where you were going to go. You had only briefly mentioned that you were going out with a friend to your mom, quickly leaving the room before she could grill you about where or who you were going with.
You threw a few outfit options on your bed, settling on a light pink dress that ended at mid-thigh, and a pair of platform sandals. You figured it was hot enough that you didn’t need a jacket, so you finished your outfit off with a pretty pearl necklace and some earrings to match.
By the time you finished your hair and makeup, it was half-past 5, and you were nervously awaiting Harry’s arrival. What if you looked too dressed up? Would he notice that your hair was longer?
A light knock on the door startled you from your thoughts, and you shouted your mom a quick goodbye before taking a deep breath and opening the door.
Harry was dumbfounded as the front door swung open, revealing the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. He had somehow forgotten how beautiful you were, mentally scolding himself for not claiming you as his when he had the chance. He wondered if you had been with anyone after you met.
“Hi,” you said, making eye contact with the gorgeous boy standing in front of you. He was wearing a simple button-up shirt with the first few undone, a cross necklace resting on his pale skin and a sliver of a tattoo poking out from his left shoulder.
“Hey,” he says, shuffling awkwardly out of the way so you could step out of the door. “You look,” he takes a deep breath, “amazing.”
Your face heats and you look at the floor to hide the rosy tint creeping up your cheeks.
“Not so bad yourself, Mr. superstar,” you tell him.
He shakes his head, trying to hide the smile creeping onto his face.
“Mr. superstar?” he raises his eyebrows, trying to hide his smile.
“Seems like everyone knows where you are and what you’re doing except me,” you tell him, hurt lingering in your voice.
Harry sighs, running a hand through his unruly curls.
“Look,” he says stopping beside you on the sidewalk. “I’m sorry about ghosting you. There hasn’t been a day where I didn’t think about you. I just... I’ve been overwhelmed”
You meet his eyes and your heart flutters.
Clearing your throat, you ask him where he’s taking you.
“ ‘S surprise,” he says, long legs carrying him quickly down the pavement.
The two of you don’t talk much as you walk down the still busy New York street, you occasionally asking how far because your feet are killing you (you don’t tell him that though, you don’t want him to feel bad) and him responding almost there and then making some comment about how you should be used to this, being a big city girl and all.
Eventually, he stops in front of a small Indian restaurant that you’ve seen before but never been too. He holds the door for you and you shuffle into the bright little facade. It’s a quaint little place, only a few couples sitting around, chatting softly and laughing.
Harry stands next to you, his fingers drumming softly against the wood of the host station. You notice how he keeps his head down, assumedly to not be noticed.
His rings catch your eye, the H and S on his fingers reflecting the soft light of the room. You mean to ask him about them, but a host comes quickly, asking for his name.
“Styles,” Harry says quietly, keeping his head down. You watch as the host nods, leading you down a hallway and through a side door.
“Where are we going?” you whisper to Harry, having to stand on your tiptoes a bit to reach his ear. He gives you a small smile, nodding forward.
“You’ll see,” he whispers back, leaving goosebumps erupting over your skin.
You lift your head, the host leading you up a set of stairs.
As you reach the top of the creaky wooden staircase, the host opens the heavy metal door for you, and you gasp as you step onto what seems to be the roof of the restaurant.
Sitting in the middle of the concrete is a small table for two, candles and string lights providing a dull but warm glow over the area. The sun is just starting to set, and bright colors splash the sky.
You turn to Harry.
“This is amazing,” you say quietly, standing face to face with him. He smiles softly, taking your hand in his and leading you to the table. He pulls a chair out for you and you sit down as Harry goes to his seat, doing the same.
“Y/n,” he says, pulling your nose out of the menu you were looking at to meet his eyes. I just want you to know that I really didn’t mean to ghost you. I hope this makes up for it.”
You can’t help the smile that graces your face for what seems like the millionth time tonight.
“Thank you, Harry. Means a lot.”
Soon, a waiter comes around with a glass of wine, pouring a glass for you and one for Harry.
“Harry, I’m 16!” you whisper after the waiter leaves, laughing to yourself.
“Okay?” Harry says, adding his own laughter to the mix. “And ‘m seventeen. No one gives a fuck.”
You roll your eyes at him.
“Okay, Mr. superstar.”
The rest of the dinner goes fairly smoothly, and you find yourself learning a lot about the British boy sitting in front of you. Harry feels the same about you, finding himself invested in your stories about your friends and family. By the time you’re finished eating, you’re both in tears at the stories and jokes you’ve told each other... and maybe just a tiny bit tipsy.
You offer to pay the bill, but Harry refuses, saying that it’s already been covered. What a gentleman...
He takes your hand for the second time tonight, carefully leading you down the creaky stairs and out of the restaurant. He nods at the host, wishing him a quick ‘goodnight’ before leading you out to the street.
“Where are we going now?” you ask, swinging your entwined hands back and forth. Harry can’t help but laugh at you, realizing that maybe you’ve had just a bit too much to drink.
“First,” he says chuckling, “we’re going to get you sober again.”
You whine at him, “I’m not drunk, though,” you say, stopping in your tracks and turning to him, sticking your lower lip out.
“Love,” he sighs, making your heart flutter, “yes you are. You’re not gonna remember this in the mornin’.”
“Yes I am,” you say, furrowing your brow. Harry can’t help but think about how absolutely adorable you look, pouty lips, squinted eyes and all. You gasp suddenly, “this is my favorite song!”
Harry cocks his head to the side as you drag his hand down the street where a man with a guitar was singing and playing what he recognized to be ‘The Chain’ by Stevie Nicks by the water.
“Dance with me!” you say, wrapping your arms around his neck. Harry’s heart does flips in his chest. This woman was going to be the death of him. He slides his arms around your waist, pulling you a little closer than he should, but he can’t help himself. You sway lightly to the music with Harry, resting your head on his chest and closing your eyes.
and if you don’t love me now
you will never love me again
I can still hear you saying
you would never break the chain
Harry feels like he’s never felt before. Words can’t describe the feelings that are running through his head and more importantly, his heart. He wants to kiss you, he really does. But he’s scared. His fleeting fear of constantly being photographed scares him, and he cares too much about you to put you in a position where you’re in the public eye.
“Y/n,” he calls softly, running a hand through your hair. You look up at him through your eyelashes and he gulps, trying to shake the dirty thoughts that just ran through his head. But her lips are so perfect and kissable and...
Before you know it, Harry’s lips are on yours. Suddenly the music is quiet and has faded to background noise and you’ve stopped swaying and all you can feel are Harry’s soft lips on yours and his hand cupping your cheek.
click
flash
Harry jumps, quickly disconnecting your lips and pulling you beside him, his arm wrapped around your shoulders protectively.
“The paps,” he whispers, pulling you down the street, shielding your faces.
“Mr. Styles!” one shouts, “Is this your new girlfriend or just a fling?”
You sink further into Harry, inhaling his scent and sobering up very much.
“See that building right there?” Harry points to a hotel a few buildings away. You nod your head. Harry doesn’t say a word as he starts walking quickly with you at his heels, his hand holding yours tightly.
You make it into the hotel and Harry leads you into the elevator, slouching against the cool metal.
“’ M sorry,” he says sadly. “’ ya must hate me now.”
“Harry,” you sigh, taking his hand and playing with the HS rings on his fingers. “I could never hate you.”
He looks up at you, and before you know it, his lips are against yours, and your back is pressed against the cool metal of the elevator. Your hands find Harry’s curls, feverishly kissing him with every ounce of energy that you have.
Neither of you noticed that the elevator had reached its designated floor until you heard someone clear their throat, snapping you away from your lip lock and blushing deeply at the older man standing on the other side of the door. Harry mutters a quiet ‘sorry’ before leading you down the hall to his hotel room. He fumbles with the key card for a moment leaving you impatiently waiting for what was going to happen next.
Should you tell Harry that you’re a virgin?
He pushes you against the door once you’re inside the hotel room, locking lips and pushing his chest flush against yours. You can feel him growing in his trousers and you push his chest with both your hands as his fingers start crawling under your shirt.
He pulls away, cocking his head to the side.
“Wha’s the matter? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he says, concern lacing his deep voice.
“Harry, I-” you start, not being able to find the words. “I’ve never...”
Harry makes an ‘o’ shape with his mouth, understanding what you’re trying to say.
“It’s ok we don’ have too, lovie,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck.
“No-!” you squeak, eyes widening.
Harry’s terrified that he’s hurt you, and he doesn’t want to scare you off. He could care less about the damned hard-on in his pants, he’ll walk you home right now if you want him too. Hell, he’d do anything for you, all you had to do was ask and he would be putty in your hands.
“I- I meant that... I want to, Harry.” This time it’s his turn to widen his eyes.
“A-are you sure?” He asks, placing his big hands on yours.
“Yes, H.” you say. Harry can’t help but grow harder as the words leave your mouth. “I want you.”
“Jesus Christ,” he says, nuzzling his lips into your neck and nibbling lightly at your ear lobe. You shiver at his touch.
“Gon’ be the death of me, Lovie.”
He closes the space between your lips, backing you against the bed and laying you gently on the mattress. He unbuttons his shirt and takes off his rings before climbing on top of you and slipping his tongue in your mouth. You moan lightly and smooth your fingertips down the soft skin of his back.
Harry has to keep reminding himself to calm down and slow his erratic movements. He wants your first time to be special, after all. He pulls away from your swollen lips to catch his breath, and you cup his jaw in your hand, leaving soft kisses down the nape of his neck. He closes his eyes, steadying his breathing before leaning into your neck, sucking a light bruise on your pale skin
.He moved down to the front of your throat, leaving small wet kisses down to the neckline of your dress.
“Can I?” he asks, toying with the straps of your dress, his soft touches making goosebumps erupt over your arms. You nod your head.
“Words, Love,” he tells you, nipping at your ear lobe.
“Please Harry.”
He slides down your body, straddling your shins as he slides his big warm hands up your thighs, bunching up your dress and you sit up to help pull it up over your head. He discards it somewhere on the floor and he can’t help but stare at your body clad in a lace bra and matching panties.
“Fuck me,” he mumbles, sliding back up your body and pressing his lips back to yours. He begins kissing down your body, the cool air hitting the wet marks on your skin and making you squirm. His hands slide down your arms, rubbing them softly as he kisses and nips at the tops of your breasts.
“Can I take this off?” he asks you, sliding his hands around your body to your back, fumbling with your bra clasp after you give him a quiet ‘yes’.
Harry’s touches are soft and sweet, yet they still make your head hurt and your adrenaline pump through your veins. You wanted him so badly, but you knew you would have to wait.
He unclasps your bra, sliding it off your arms and again throwing it somewhere in the spacious hotel room before attaching his lips to your left nipple, sucking and licking the sensitive skin. You thread your fingers through his hair, tugging lightly at his curls as you arch your back into him, creating friction between the two of you.
He lets out the most delicious-sounding groan into the valley of your breasts which makes you grow wet by the second.
“Harry,” you whine softly.
“What is it, baby?” he says huskily, squeezing your breasts in his hands, (can u tell i have a kink for harry’s hands yes sorry oops) his cross necklace dangling over your chest.
You just whimper moving into his touch.
“Words, baby girl.”
“I-” you close your eyes and steady your erratic breathing. “I need you.”
He grins, kissing your lips for a moment before making his way all the way down to your navel, sucking a pretty hickey into your hips and kissing your inner thighs.
He wants nothing more than to ram your body into the mattress right there, making you scream his name, but he knows all he can do is love on you and tell you how beautiful you are and how much he loves you...
His eyes widen.
“I love you too,” you whine, pressing yourself closer to his body,
“Did I say that out loud?” he breathes, nuzzling his nose into your neck.
“Yeah,” you say, chuckling. “you did.”
“I love you,” he says again, going back down to his spot between your thighs.
“I l-love you, too,” you say, quivering as he places his lips onto your clothed cunt. He squeezes your hips.
“Can I take these pretty panties off, love? You’re soaking.”
You felt like you could cum from his dirty words alone, sighing as you nod your head quickly.
“Please.”
“Eager, are we?” he says, his eyes darkening.
Oh, God. You couldn’t take it.
He slides your panties down your legs, throwing them off the bed with the rest of your clothes. He blows air on your wait slit and you moan out.
“Haven’ even touched you, love. You’re soaking,” he slides his finger down your slit and your eyes shut along with your legs. Harry’s loving the sounds that come from your mouth as he places kisses to your clit, collecting your wetness on his tongue. He moans at your taste, sending vibrations through your heat.
He begins lapping at your slit at a faster pace, making you moan and writhe beneath him. He slides his index finger into your tight hole and you cry out.
“Oh fuck,” you tug as his curls and he groans, sucking on your button a little harder.
“You’re so tight,” he says, adding a second finger and stretching you out. At this point, Harry was aching in his jeans and he felt like he was going to explode if he didn’t get them off soon. Luckily, you came to the rescue, clawing at the tight fabric praying for him to take them off. He unbuckled his belt, sliding his tight jeans down his muscular legs.
Your eyes widen as you realize he wasn’t wearing underwear. You gulp at the sight of his bright red leaking tip. He was huge...and that was NOT an exaggeration. Harry continues to open you up for him, and you decide to release a little tension by sliding your hand between your bodies and pumping his thick member.
“Fuck me,” he groans, slipping his fingers out of you and putting them in his mouth. Your eyes widen. That was hot as shit.
Harry rolls off of you and digs through his jean pockets, pulling out a foil package. He rips it open with his teeth and slides it down his aching member, hissing at the constricting rubber.
“Are you ready?” he asks, rubbing his tip against your slit. “‘S gonna sting a bit, okay?”
You nod your head.
“Words.”
“Please Harry, I need you to fuck me.”
Harry felt his whole body flush. She’s so innocent and perfect and he couldn’t take it.
“As much as I would love to pound you into this mattress,” he growls into your ear, “I think it’s better if I made love to you instead.”
You’re heart and your pussy flutter at the same time and you push your hips up to his member, needing that friction between the two of you.
He stabilizes himself with his arms, leaning into your lips and kissing you as he slips the tip of his dick into your warm hole.
You hiss at the pain and he peppers kisses all over your face, muttering sweet nothings like “you’re doing so good” and “you’re okay, baby girl”.
He slides further into you and you scratch your fingernails down his back.
“Fuck, Harry,” you whine.
“Tell me when to move.”
“Please move.”
He pushes further into you, bottoming out into your sweet tight hole. He throws his head back as you clench around him, loving the velvetiness of your delicious walls. He starts to move out, pushing himself back in all the way this time.
Your moans get louder as pain turns into pleasure and Harry lets out deep growls into your neck.
“Har-Harry I’m-” You’re interrupted by your phone ringing against the nightstand. “Shit, Harry, I’m sorry,” you panic, but he doesn’t slow his movements.
“Don’t let me stop you from answering it,” he says, continuing to slide in and out of you. You curse under your breath, seeing that it’s your mom.
“H-hey, Mom,” you say as calmly as you can, Harry raising his eyebrows and slowing down ever so slightly. You give him a grateful look, pushing his sweaty hair from his forehead. He leans into your touch.
“Uh...yeah, I’m fine,” you say as Harry starts to pick up speed again. “Is it cool if I stay with Casey tonight?” You bite your hand, stifling the moan that leaves your throat as Harry hits that special spot. Harry grabs your hand and pins it to the bed. Your eyes go wide and you gulp, ending the phone call quickly and throwing your phone across the room.
“Fuck, Harry,” you moan as he grabs your other hand and pins it above your head. “I-I’m close.”
He groans, pumping faster and rubbing his finger against your button. Your moans get louder and more high pitched as Harry makes you cum. Your nails scratch down his back, feverishly kissing him and clenching around him, making him release his seed into the condom, pumping a few more times before pulling out of you and rolling off the bed. He disposes of the condom and slides under the sheets, pulling them over your body.
“Wow,” is all you say, panting as you drape your arm over your eyes.
“Yea?” he asks, chuckling, pulling you flush against his chest. You take your arm off your face and cup his cheeks, planting a soft kiss on his swollen pink lips. You pull away and Harry can’t help but think about how beautiful you look, all fucked out and bleary-eyed.
“Didn’t hurt ya, did I love?” he asks, unknotting your hair with his fingers.
You shake your head, burying your face into his sticky chest.
“Y/n?”
“Yeah Harry?” you whisper.
“Will you be my girlfriend?”
You chuckle at him, pulling away from him and looking into his emerald eyes, full of adoration from only you.
“Of course I will, Mr. superstar” Your eyes flutter closed as he kisses you softly and sweetly, caressing his hand up your back. He grins into the kiss at your little nickname for him.
Harry watches you as you fall asleep in his arms, and at that moment, he knows he’s going to spend the rest of his life with you.
Soft breaths against your face wake you from your slumber the next morning, and your eyes meet the gorgeous sleeping man next to you. He looked so peaceful and perfect that when you needed to use the bathroom, you had to carefully slide out from his arms. You couldn’t help but stare in awe at the pout that graced his sleeping face when you left his arms.
You grab his shirt from the night before and shuffle into the bathroom, taking your time to pee and wash your face and fix your hair before pulling Harry’s shirt over your arms and buttoning it over your body, leaving a few open at the top.
You saunter out of the bathroom to find a sleepy Harry squinting his eyes at his phone, trying to read the bright numbers. He perks up at the sound of the door and shamelessly checks you out, the tops of your thighs peeking out of his shirt that hung so nicely on your frame.
“G’ morning beautiful,” he rasps, his voice tired from sleep. You climb back into bed and he wraps his arms around you. “How’re you feelin’?”
You trace your fingertips over the few tattoos he has. “A little sore,” you chuckle, motioning to the spot between your thighs, “but other than that, I’m great.”
Harry chuckles at you, kissing your nose and nuzzling his face into your neck, dozing off for a few more moments before rolling out of bed and throwing on a pair of basketball shorts and a shirt.
“Ya hungry?” he asks, flipping through the room service menu as you look for your panties.
“Sure,” you say, pulling the lace fabric up your legs and clipping your bra under Harry’s shirt.
You slip your dress over your body, keeping Harry’s button up on over top.
Harry and you ate, enjoying each other's company before he called an uber and took you home.
“When are you coming back?” you sigh, sliding your hand down his chest as he walked you to your front door. A deep set frown appears on his face and you try to smooth it out.
“I- I don’t know,” his voice cracks a little bit, pulling your hips closer to him. “I’ll call you every night. I promise this time,” he tells you, sealing it with a kiss. You can’t help the tears that roll down your cheeks.
“Please don’t cry, Lovie. ‘Gon make me cry.”
You bury yourself into his chest inhaling his scent for the last time for a while.
“Here,” he says softly, pulling the S ring off of his ring finger and placing it on yours. “Keep it safe for me, yea? Promise I’ll visit you soon. Need you.”
Tears roll faster down your cheeks as you admire the heavy ring on your finger. You unclasp the pearl necklace from around your neck and put it around his. His fingers caress the material of the pearls before leaning into you and kissing your lips. “I love you so much,” he says into your mouth, eyes stills shut.
The uber driver beeps at you, making you jump. You close your eyes and rest your forehead against his. “I love you too, Mr. superstar.”
did you enjoy this? you can read more of my work here
#Harry Styles#harry styles imagine#harry styles smut#harry styles angst#Niall Horan#niall horan imagine#liam payne#louis tomlinson#louis tomlinson imagine#Zayn Malik#Smut#smut imagine#harry styles smut imagine#fluff#harry styles fluff#fluff imagine#angst imagine#soft harry#hs#fine line
447 notes
·
View notes
Text
Initiates -- Original AC OC Fic
8//12/2020: Okay so yup here’s my OC espionage story that I’ve adapted for the AC universe. I proofread it once and will probably edit it again when I reread it in like two days lol. Thanks to @alexiios for solving my temporary naming crisis lol. If you want me to post OC fact files (if you enjoy this), then hmu/lmk! I loved writing this (like months ago) and I want to give you guys SOME content, so I hope you’ll have as much fun reading it as I had writing it! Tagging people that might enjoy it? (plus @/alexiios lmao don’t want to spam you with mentions)
Hard to believe that this is only 2242 words but ok go off i guess
Feedback greatly appreciated, as always!
WARNINGS: Violence, car crash, hospital mention, blood mention
Tagging: @marshmallow--3 // @britishhotassassin // @rahdahleigh // @iceboundstar // @sofiewithat // @mythandmagik (I’m guessing your url changed aha)
“I think I’m gonna check,” Jake lightly knocked his knuckles against the wooden table.
Zoe lifted the corner of her hand. “I raise thirteen.”
The last card was placed onto the table. Last chance to bet. “Twenty-six,” Jake gazed through his eyelashes, raising the bet once again.
Groaning, Zoe threw her cards onto the pile of chips in the middle of the table, two fives staring her in the face. “Fine, you win.”
“As per usual!” Jake laughed as he slapped a pair of kings down in front of him and collected his chips.
“Jesus! You always get the good hand!” Jake flashed a look of offense.
“No I do--” He was briskly interrupted.
“Name one time you’ve lost! I bet you cheat.”
Before he could reply, someone walked through the door of the lunch room. “Nick?” Jake’s voice laced in confusion as his smirk dropped.
“Break’s over. We need you both.”
Startled, the two followed their boss into a briefing room. “What’s the problem?” Zoe asked, leaning against the table. Jake sat down on a chair next to her, kicking his shoes onto the polished wood beside her. He popped some gum in his mouth before undoing his top button of his checked shirt; the two of them opted for a casual office day. Zoe and Nick both declined as he offered them each a piece. “Really? It’s strawberry…”
“Not now, Jake. We have a missing agent. You are two of our best trackers; no one else in the whole department is as… experienced. We need you to find him before it’s too late.” A picture was brought up; blond hair and brown eyes.
“He was last seen at these coordinates-- get on it.” Nick left the two in silence as he dropped two files on the table and left the room.
Zoe picked one up and slid the other one Jake’s way, hitting his shoes. Sitting straight, he leaned forwards to take a closer look. “I have the agent.”
“I’ve got the leads…” Zoe mumbled with a frown, sifting through the relatively thin file that had been accumulated over the past few days. CCTV screenshots, cases previously solved that could harbour motive for revenge, and a few other documents referring to things she had never seen or heard of before. “Hey, Jake?”
“Hmm?” He looked up with interest, his chewing paused.
“Have you ever heard of Abstergo Industries?”
There was a silence as he thought. “No; is it one of those massive corporations?”
Zoe’s eyes roamed various images of murder scenes, all having one thing in common; jewellry in the shape of a cross, circled in red ink. “Something like that…”
Did Nick mean for us to see this? It feels classified…
“So his name is Matthew Anderson. Twenty-six, unmarried, single child, no children. There is literally no record of him anywhere; no school record, no criminal record, no family record; nothing. Only things like “Favourite coffee shop”. The man’s an enigma. Why would anyone want to kidnap him? There’s no evidence to justify a ransom or leverage of any sort…”
“It does seem strange, but it might have something to do with this Abstergo place. Let’s go to that coffee shop and see what we can find.”
Jake followed Zoe towards the armory; full of necessary gear and equipment. The pair grabbed what they needed, namely the issued pepper spray and tasers. Their badges waited for them, along with any IDs they may need. “Ready?” Zoe debated bringing a firearm, but decided against it; there was already going to be one in the glovebox.
All Jake did was wink and smile, donning his jacket. “Always.”
----------
They spent the rest of the afternoon searching for answers in the coffee shop. Social media, local news posts, Police records-- even private databases -- all with the keyword, ‘Abstergo’. Jake left to the counter after a while to buy more coffee for the two of them; their eyes had begun to sting from staring at a screen for so long. Zoe was writing some information down in her notepad when she saw movement out of the corner of her eye. She glanced to see someone dressed in a grey hoodie and tracksuit bottoms. They had hidden their features under their hood, but Zoe could tell that they were looking in her direction. Hiding behind fallen hair, she rubbed her palms against her jeans.
Jake returned with her latte, placing it down before sitting to nurse his cappuccino. He noticed how unsettled she had become. “You okay? You look as if you’ve seen a ghost.” After he spoke, he licked the milk mousse moustache from his upper lip.
Zoe smiled, his actions calming her slightly. “I’m fine,” she said. “It’s just…” She lowered her voice. “There’s a guy over there. He’s just… staring.” Jake quickly flitted his gaze over in that direction and then back at his partner, his head unmoving.
“He is a bit creepy, isn’t he?” he mumbled. “Feel like getting out of here?”
“Please.” Jake left to get takeaway cups as Zoe started clearing the table.
The sun had already begun to set as they left the coffee shop and got into an unmarked van designed for undercover work. As they were driving down some narrower country lanes, Jake noticed something out of the rearview mirror. “Uh, Zo’?” She hummed in reply from the driver’s seat, preoccupied with the road. “I think someone’s following us.”
“What should we do?” she asked, turning left. For the second time that day, Jake was interrupted. A bullet shattered one of the back windows.
“Not much!” Jake took the pistol out of the glovebox and began firing back. Zoe stole a glance behind her.
“Look out!” Jake grabbed the steering wheel and pulled. The wheels veered out of control and the van tumbled. It rolled off the road.
The vehicle eventually stopped, lying capsized on the grass. Footsteps approached the door. “Yeah, boss; we got ‘em,” a gravelly voice stated. Jake, barely conscious, never moved a muscle. “Roger,” the voice said again, and footsteps started to recede.
“Zoe,” Jake groaned. He got a quiet mumble in response. His nose alerted him to the imminent danger they were in; the smell of petrol. Trying to move, he winced at the sudden throbbing pain in his head.
And his torso.
And his back.
He took a step to remove his seatbelt, bracing himself as he hit the roof below him. He groaned as his upper back collided with the ground. “Hey, Zo’.” Jake crawled below her and tried to unbuckle her seatbelt with a sense of panic. “Damn,” he cursed. The seatbelt wasn’t going to loosen willingly. He searched for any solution and found a glint in the half opened glovebox by his feet. He had rediscovered his pocket knife.
Quickly, he pulled it open and stuck it in the seatbelt box, jiggling it around; waiting for the click.
After a few painstaking moments, the restraint opened. He ripped it off and Zoe fell onto Jake’s torso, immediately winding him.
“Come on, Zo’; we need to get out of here.” His arm clung to her waist and he wriggled out as fast as he could from the flammable scrap. He was relieved as he inhaled fresh air; flushing out his lungs from the scent of leaking petrol.
Once they were clear of the vehicle, Jake laid Zoe out of sight and began to lightly touch her face. “Wake up, Zo’. We need to leave!” There was a minimal groaning response; but she was still conscious-- with her eyes half open. “That’s good enough for me.” With difficulty, he scooped his partner into his chest, stood up shakily, and tried to walk in a straight direction.
“FREEZE!” He stopped, closing his eyes. His arms were trembling in exhaustion, and his heart begun to palpitate. “Turn around—slowly.” He listened, clutching Zoe tightly.
“Come on, mate,” Jake tried, making earnest eye contact. “You don’t want to do this.” His eyes scanned the gun pointed at the two of them worriedly.
“I don’t think that you’re in the position to tell me what to do.” The same voice, body turning in the shadows, triggered his radio. “Sir, they’re still alive.” A static grumble was all that could be deciphered in Jake’s ringing ears. “Yes, boss.”
The gun began to aim. “Don’t move.”
The safety clicked. “It would be in your best interest to close your eyes.”
Jake waited, watching the trigger, steeling his already hardened glare.
Nothing happened.
Until, in a split second, the gun moved from Jake’s chest to Zoe’s.
“NO!”
BANG!
Bodies were sent flying down the hill Jake had painfully trekked up. They rested at the bottom of the hill; lying still-- breathing stiller. “They’re finished now, boss,” the voice quipped.
There was a sound of car doors slamming and a car engine starting, and it began to drive away.
It was still for a moment…
Until Jake grimaced. One of his arms were trapped under Zoe’s body This time, she was out cold. Jake wiped the grime off of his forehead, before being engulfed in a stabbing pain. He let out a broken cry. Zoe was unharmed; a concussion was assumed, at worst.
But Jake was shot. And he was bleeding out. He choked on his words; the pain kept swallowing them.
What he needed was an ambulance--and fast.
He only had one arm to move his body, and it caused him the most pain he had ever felt.
“Argh,” he groaned. “Z-Zo’.”
He had to find something-- anything-- to call for help. He searched his pockets, but he knew that he wasn't prepared for situations like this.
… But maybe Zoe was.
“Zoe,” Jake attempted to shake her awake. “Please, wake up!”
There was minimal movement.
“Help me out here, love...” He pressed against his side with his hand, whilst his other worked on slipping out from under Zoe’s body. Eventually, he managed to retrieve his trapped limb.
There was no blood on Zoe’s clothing, and Jake reassured himself that she was unharmed-- relatively.
He placed both his hands on his side, focusing on stopping the bleeding as much as possible. A wave of nausea overcame him; the heat from the flaming vehicle caused his stomach to churn almost endlessly as he glanced down. Blood was seeping through his fingers, and Jake’s vision was becoming increasingly blurred; he allowed himself to close his eyes, wanting nothing more than to pass out. He felt his mind begin to cloud over, but there was a certain buzzing in his ears. It was faint, but it was there…
The last thing he heard was his name being called by a half familiar voice.
He only hoped that it wasn’t too late…
------
Beep after beep after beep… his ears would explode any moment now. He tried to inhale through his nose, and quickly had the urge to itch as something constantly prodded inside his nostrils.
Task 1 -- open your eyes.
His eyelids felt content to stay obstructing his vision, yet his instincts said otherwise, and they obstinately broke apart.
It was dark. That was his first observation.
Being in what he assumed was the hospital, the stereotype inclined him to believe that bright white lights would be the first thing he would see. That certainly wasn’t the case. The moon cast through the half open blinds, the entire building held an air of kenopsia.
Jake, still feeling drowsy, decided to wait until the sun rises to make any moves; all he knew was that he was safe, and he could allow himself to let go.
----------
He closed his eyes for a second, and the sun was up, being met with a familiar face.
“Hey,” Zoe smiled, tension relaxing her shoulders.
“Hi,” Jake replied, a smug grin playing on his lips. “Are you okay?”
“Am I okay? I’m not the one in a hospital bed.”
“Just making sure.”
“I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you.”
Jake chuckled. “You know me; I’m full of surprises.”
There was a calm silence that clouded over the room. “They said you were lucky, you know. You’ve been out for three days.” Zoe looked over at the IV drip that was taped to his arm.
“The best three days of your life, I bet?” he chuckled.
“No, no; Jake, they were the worst days I think I’ve ever had. Don’t pull a stunt like that ever again -- for both our sakes.”
He couldn’t help but smile. A few rapid knocks on the door interrupted the moment, and Nick came through the door. “Alright?”
“Alright.”
“Not bad.”
He sighed. “You probably have some questions.”
“So many questions…”
“You don’t even know…”
He raised his hand, silencing both voices. “Once you’re both ready, I will answer them. But for now, you’ll rest and recover. I apologise for… all of this.” He turned to leave, but stopped as if he forgot something. Without a word, he pulled out a coin, flipping it in Zoe’s direction, who caught it automatically. He nodded intently, and left. She shared a look with Jake, turning the now recognisable token in her hand. It wasn’t any form of currency, but instead had a certain insignia minted in the centre; a rather obscure looking ‘A’. If it was an ‘A’ at all…
“What do you think it means?” Zoe asked.
Jake shifted, slightly groaning. “I don’t know. But whatever it is, will change everything.”
#assassin's creed#oc#original character#zoe grant#jake riley#ta da#meet my AC babies#feel free to ask about them#ask and you shall recieve#enjoy!#I'll cringe at this tomorrow but I'm too tired to edit it a third time#deal with it for 12 hours pls#thx#i'll fix it
24 notes
·
View notes
Note
Raphael and madzie!! please I will sell you my firstborn for some Raphael and madzie content. Like him babysitting and sleepovers and playing dress up and watching Disney movies together. Raphael wearing this tiara and him and madzie playing together. Baking and singing together, going on trips to the park together and Raphael just being so happy.-
-Like if you think about it they are technically cousins🤔 with the whole found family thing, Catarina and Magnus are siblings Raphael is Magnus’ son ergo madzie and Raphael are cousins but they still think of each other as siblings. Raphael is her big brother! Please🥺
ok anon i hope you know that you are literally my new favorite person in the whole wide world and this ask is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. i will literally never shut the fuck up about raphael and madzie i will make this brotp a thing if it KILLS me just you watch
idk if id say they are technically cousins because i don’t know if catarina and magnus consider themselves siblings - definitely family for sure, but i get the feeling it’s more of a “generic” family feeling rather than a Specific Dynamic you know? but either way this is found family so it’s not like family tree/architecture is actually that stiff and matters that much, RAPHAEL IS MADZIE’S BIG BRO idc
and it’s literally canon that raphael is the best, most thoughtful, caring and dedicated older brother so like!!! honestly it’s what madzie deserves. she has a wonderful mom (two if you subscribe to dotarina raising madzie together <3) and underful uncles and a wonderful brother who is always on her side and would do anything for her, and that! is! fantastic!
especially because like madzie is implied to be used to big families, since iris was going around making an army of warlocks basically lmao and like of course that was an abusive family dynamic but the point is that she was used to having siblings. but she was also implied to be the eldest and now she is the youngest! and she gets to have a nice big bro who takes care of her and plays with her and has her as a priority and i just 🥺🥺🥺
and god not to be a slut for raphael and rosa but i picture raphael just telling madzie all that he could about rosa?? you know??? he’s all like “you have an older sister too, you know? it’s a shame you never got to meet” and madzie kind of tilts her head and asks him to tell her about it. so raphael does. he sits down with her and shows her pictures of the both of them together from their childhood up until her death, and he tells her all the stories he possibly can. he says, “she would have loved you just as much as me. she always wanted to be someone’s older sister. said she wanted to take care of them like i take care of her” and madzie is all like “she sounds sweet. i wanted to know her, too” and raphael tears up slightly and he’s like “yeah. yeah. me too, cariño” and she hugs him
and like not to slut over this but i like to think that raphael teaches madzie about the monarch butterflies and día de los muertos and one day they are playing outside and a monarch lands on madzie?? and madzie calls it “rosa” and the butterfly is just flying over her head, alternating between her and raphael, for the whole afternoon? and raphael chokes up. fuck it all the legends are true, i love this alright
just like.... obviously raphael’s relationship with madzie is not some kind of substitute for his relationship with rosa, because madzie deserves better than that and no one can be rosa but rosa. raphael loves madzie for madzie, because she is sweet but fierce, extremely intelligent and with a playful/slightly mischievous (in a good way) side that is slowly blooming as time goes by and she heals from her abuse more and more. she is also good, endlessly caring, kind, compassionate, imaginative, affectionate. madzie is madzie and that’s all she needs to be. but the idea that raphael has someone to share rosa with, even if madzie obviously doesn’t feel about her the same way raphael did as they never met, but to bring her into this new family in a way... and let madzie knows that she also has another sibling looking out for her, even if from another plane... that’s nice and good food okay. and i think madzie would want to know about her, just like she tells raphael about her other siblings from when she lived with iris, even if they never got to be too close (cuz i doubt iris would risk letting them become very close and eventually realize her abuse and possibly rebel against her)
maybe it’s madzie herself who brings it up, she asks raphael about the pictures in his home or about his “ave rosa” plaque 🥺 and he tells her about it and makes sure that she knows that he doesn’t love rosa more or less than he does madzie, just differently. they are both his little sisters no matter what
anyway! onto more rapha&madzie focused headcanons. first of all you are so correct about playing dress up and shit, raphael is a SIMP and a sucker for his lil sis so he absolutely will wear a tiara if she asks no questions asked. simon sees it one time and he doesn’t even consider making fun of him because raphael shoots him a glare that absolutely reads as “i double dare you, motherfucker”. not because uwu girly stuff just because he has this whole serious vibe and there he is with a tiara and tiny braids. we stan
also look i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, raphael absolutely learns how to handle black/kinky hair for madzie. he was used to doing rosa’s hair but that was very likely straight or just wavy hair. madzie’s hair texture is different and raphael makes it a point to learn everything he can about how to take care of it and make hairstyles that she might like and won’t hurt her, okay? and yes i know that madzie straightens her hair but i like to think that over time she stops. i kinda headcanon that one of the reasons she did it was to look closer to iris, plus just the fact that as a white abuser i doubt she exactly planted it on madzie to love her natural hair. but over time living with catarina and being closer to a mostly-poc family and seeing maia and other beautiful black women with their natural hair and/or afro hairstyles, she stops straightening it, and everyone encourages her, raphael included. he even uses that, like, “i’ve been learning how to do these hairstyles for you, you know” and he shows her some and she gets so excited about trying them and it’s great
(initially he has catarina’s supervision, because again black hair is important and even if raphael is a moc he’s still nonblack. but catarina trusts him and he’s always so careful and makes sure to always listen to what she says, asks questions and all but takes notes lmao, so it works)
and baking!!! i mean look madzie is gonna be naturally prone to liking to bake, as a warlock and shit. and if regular kids already play with making potions, warlock kids are definitely even worse, especially because she does see catarina, dot, and magnus doing that all the time so it’s one of the things that she likes to mimick. and baking is basically potion making but edible and solid lmao. but like she loves it, mixing the batter, adding sprinkles, seeing as the textures change and the taste builds and stuff like that, you know? she’s definitely fascinated by it especially because she does it without magic and it’s just, wow, so cool to her?? and raphael as the cook that he is is more than happy to teach her, bake with her, and see her enthusiasm. raphael with oven mitts taking a batch of cookies out of the oven yall. i need a second
and like i absolutely subscribe to genius madzie because LOOK that girl is endlessly fucking smart and so intelligent especially for her age, not to mention powerful and observant and just, she’s brilliant. and with both catarina and magnus, huge nerd extraordinaires, and possibly maia because i like to pepper in the fact that maia and raphael are dating, she gets all the incentive she could possibly want to want to learn about both mundane science and magical theory
but in short like! raphael getting her those chemistry sets for kids, you know? where you have some recipes and you can mix up ingredients and they change color or otherwise change and shit? my friend had one of those when we were kids and my god i loved it so much, i was just fascinated. i think madzie definitely would love it, and raphael knows that she will, so he takes a whole day off for when he brings her this gift because he knows they will be playing all afternoon. and they do! she’s super excited about it and raphael as usual is all careful and teaching her how to do it properly without spilling and taking the measures appropriately and stuff. and it’s super sweet
initially they follow the recipes and raphael’s autistic ass is just delighted to do that, but madzie quickly starts doing some #improv, and again, because she is a genius, she quickly starts to figure out what each substance does. so she’s texting theories, trying out experimenting, seeing if she’s right, trying to asses her work? you know? basically literally a mini scientist using the scientific method and stuff and raphael is so proud of her and in awe of how smart she is and he tells her that she’s the smartest kid he’s ever met and kisses her forehead and she giggles and is just super excited??
also sometimes she asks raphael what he thinks and he’s just like “uhhh” because he has no idea lmao he’s just happy to see her do her thing and help her with the practical parts. and she giggles at him and she’s lowkey outraged but again, she’s just sweet and he loves her
i also 100% think it was madzie who figured out a potion to make raphael able to eat (oh look what is this fic that mentions that doing here) because FUCK mundane raphael all my homies hate mundane raphael, the heavenly fire made him a daylighter. and she could see how sad raphael was that he didn’t get to eat at all, especially because he clearly loved food and he always had this sort of longing when they were cooking together, you know? it also made her sad that he couldn’t try her cooking, and he was always telling her that to cook, you need to always taste what you’re making, and once she says “but you can’t do that” and he looked so sad she immediately felt bad about it, even if obviously it isn’t her fault
anyway my point is she knows how much this means for raphael and she wants him to be able to eat human food again, both for him and for herself. so she spends a long time studying vampire anatomy/digestive system, food properties, and magic, and she eventually figures out a potion that he can take before a meal that makes him able to eat. it goes slowly, initially he can only drink, but eventually she does figure out a way to make him eat anything and he just cries like a baby tbh. she is worried for a second but then he takes her in his arms and hugs her fiercely and peppers kisses on her face and says that this is one of the best things anyone’s ever done for him and that he’ll “forever be in her debt” or something that makes her laugh because raphael doesn’t owe her anything, he’s her brother. and he tears up all over again
of course that takes some years but they’re immortal so who cares. and catarina is SO proud of her little genius for that, too. raphael and maia include the potion as courtesy for any vampire who orders food at taki’s and share the recipe and it’s just a small revolution in the vampire world and madzie is already making history like hot damn. GENIUS MADZIE OKAY
but of course first and foremost she is a kid and deserves to be a kid, i just love her being naturally curious and interesting in researching and learning and stuff. but of course they also play a lot, and keep trying to out-cheat each other as she has magic and he has super abilities and the game becomes more seeing who can cheat the most and get away with it than anything else lol. and it’s its own brand of fun
also, raphael keeps trying to get madzie to eat healthy but the second he averts his eyes she’s like “abrakadabra this is now ice cream” and he’s SO frustrated. absolutely nothing can stop her from doing it. “if you eat these carrots i’ll buy you ice cream later”. guess what she can just turn it into ice cream now. your tactics are meaningless
also madzie playing dressing up! and she wants to be Stylish like her mom and her big bro and her uncle magnus but of course she’s a kid so her sense of style is essentially book magnus lmao but raphael 100% indulges her in all her endeavours and helps her make her outrageous outfits and shit. she likes colorful stuff as we’ve seen and he paints her nails and stuff. sometimes she makes herself mini suits mimicking or straight up matching raphael’s and raphael thinks it’s the cutest thing. especially when she like, imitates his blazer but keeps wearing a boa as well or something. aioudjsauihda i love kids and fashion can you tell
and she sometimes picks out clothes for him and guess what? raphael 100% wears them because it’s madzie and he is s o f t for her
and singing!!! and DANCING!!! there is no way raphael can’t dance no matter how hard he tries to pretend otherwise, and between him, dot, and magnus, madzie just loves to dance and becomes a great dancer in no time. raphael loves twirling her around. also him teaching her the jarabe tapatío you can’t tell me that she wouldn’t be all over that shit. the playing with the dress, the bright colors, dancing around the sombrero.... bitch she would love it. and they have so much fun doing their little improvised version of that and she claps and he has his hands behind his back and has the greatest smile on his face and she’s having so much fun
also raphael loves reading for her!!!! and eventually when they move away from reading books with pictures she starts creating her own “holograms” to illustrate the stories with magic, and raphael is so proud of her!! she’s just immensively creative and makes such beautiful illustrations for the stories and as raphael reads she changes around the setting she’s creating and it’s so fun and they both like it so much?? and she eventually falls asleep on his lap and he tucks her in and kisses her forehead and 🥺🥺
she also likes to paint and idk why but i have a feeling that raphael fucking sucks at painting, so that’s funny and he smiles and says that she has so much more talent than him...
and every time they are together raphael has the hugest smile on, it just doesn’t leave his face for a second. especially when they are playing outside in the sun and he just so fucking happy and basking in the warmth and playing with her, you know? and as madzie grows older, talking and just chilling together as well? you know? he just loves her so much and his cheeks almost hurt by the end and just aaaaaaaaa they are the sibling dynamic we DESERVE and DEMAND
#raphael santiago#madzie loss#shadowhunters#sh#brotp: a bright new sky#ask#anonymous#long post#like really long i got excited but i don't regret anything#rosa santiago#brotp: they're the same stars in mexico#maiaphael#real quick mention but there#catarina loss
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
Great Perhaps (Peter Parker x reader)
a/n: this is by far the longest oneshot ive ever written (10,292 words babey!!) but i really love how this turned out!! i hope u enjoy!! just a few notes; 1) this is based off looking for alaska so it’ll loosely follow the premise of it but it’s not exactly the same, 2) i don’t have a taglist so any & all posts will be tagged ‘oneshot: great perhaps’!! 3) endgame never happened in this lmao
warnings: language, making out, underage drinking, mentions/descriptions of bad mental health, mentions of suicidal thoughts, mentions/descriptions of death, grief, sadness™
please reblog/leave feedback!!
moodboard/teaser
102 days before (8/24/19)
Peter groaned, wiping the sweat off his forehead. Stacking up the last of the boxes, he sighed, grabbing the water bottle from his now empty dresser and gulping it all down. Leaving his room, he entered the kitchen where May was, making dinner for Peter’s last night home.
“Hey May. Is dinner ready?” Peter asked, sweat drenching his clothes.
“Not yet, go take a shower!” May grinned, knowing that’s exactly what Peter was going to ask.
“Awesome, thanks May.” Peter replied, heading off to the bathroom. He tried not to think about not seeing Ned or MJ for a while, at least until Thanksgiving. MJ was going to NYU and Ned was taking a gap year to travel, but planned his travels so he’d be home for Thanksgiving to see his best friend.
He felt the lukewarm water making contact with his skin, Peter sighing in relief. With the late August heat, warm showers felt like hell, but cold showers were still uncomfortable so Peter was stuck trying to compromise.
It had been nearly a year since Peter got out of the soul stone. The months had been long, filled with therapy and nightmares, but he had made incredible progress and was ready to leave New York to go to a new state and get a fresh start at Massachusetts Institute of Technology.
He hopped out of the shower, throwing on some sweats and an old shirt, before joining May in the kitchen.
“Perfect timing, dinner’s ready!” May smiled, Peter sitting down as May served him spaghetti and meatballs with a side of salad. “I bet you’re hungry, been packing all day!” May commented, a sad smile gracing her lips.
She was so proud of Peter, but she would miss him tremendously when he was at school. When Tony Stark knocked on her door to tell her Peter was gone, her world had ended. When he knocked on her door again, this time with a weak Peter, she hugged him so tightly Peter thought he couldn’t breathe. He didn’t mind it, though, he had felt so empty in the soul stone it was nice to feel contact with someone else again.
Peter didn’t even have to apply to MIT, Tony knew what an extraordinary kid Peter was and when Peter said he wanted to go to Massachusetts for college, he used his connections to hook him up with a full ride when him and May were sure the nightmares had stopped, or at least weren’t happening as frequently.
“Yeah. I mean you were too, but you got a break.” Peter teased, May feigning offense.
“To make you dinner!” Peter chuckled, taking another bite of his favorite meal.
After dinner, Peter helped May clean up. “You’re not gonna go back to your room just yet, right? Gonna stay out here for a bit?” May asked quietly, thinking of all the times in the days and weeks after Peter’s return that he shut May out, often returning to his room immediately after dinner without saying a word. As the months and therapy went on, Peter began opening up more and spending more time with May again.
“Yeah.” He nodded, seeing her smile and pull out a DVD.
“Anchorman.” She smiled. “Figured we could both use some comedy.” Peter grinned, seeing her pull out ice cream as well.
“I got some ice cream, figured we could have a little movie night before you go.” She offered, Peter getting the ice cream scooper out.
“Just like old days, yeah?”
“Just like old days.”
-
The next morning, Peter woke up with a pit in his stomach. He was so ready to get a fresh start, but he was leaving his home. He was leaving May, Ned, MJ.
“Honey? Ned is here!” May called, knocking on Peter’s door, before opening it and letting Ned in, who couldn’t get more than two feet with the boxes everywhere.
“Hey man.” Peter greeted, getting out of bed.
“Hey Peter, I know you’re leaving soon, but I wanted to stop by and say goodbye. Again.” He said, his voice cracking.
“Aw man, it’s okay. I’ll be back before you know it!” Peter comforted his best friend, giving him a hug.
“Yeah, but, I’ll miss you.” Ned whispered.
“I’ll miss you too. Facetime me?” Peter asked, his voice low.
“Yeah. Yeah of course. Good luck, man. Go save the world.” Ned smiled sadly, giving Peter one last hug before Peter walked him out.
“Well, Peter. Today’s the day.” May sighed. “How do you feel?”
“Nervous. ‘M scared to leave you. But I’m excited.” He answered honestly, chuckling when May pulled him into a tight hug. “I love you, you know that right? A-And you can always call me. Or Tony. He may get to you faster but both of us are here for you.” She rambled, the tears she had built up finally spilling over.
“It’s okay, May, I know. I’ll call you a lot, I promise.” Peter comforted.
May pulled away, cupping her nephew’s cheeks and pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Let’s go pack the car, okay? We have a long drive.”
-
After a three hour and twenty eight minute drive, May was finally pulling up to MIT. “Why don’t you go to your residence hall and check in? I’ll wait here and see if we can park here or if I have to move.” May suggested, Peter nodding in response. He hesitated before he opened the car door and heading over to his residence hall.
“Hey! Welcome to MIT, what’s your name?” The student asked.
“P-Peter. Peter Parker.” He answered.
“You’re on the second floor. 218.” The student smiled, handing Peter his ID.
“Thanks.” Peter mumbled, before going out to find May, when someone approached him. “Hey, you Peter Parker?” He asked. Peter nodded in confusion.
“I’m Thomas, your roommate. I just heard you check in.” Thomas introduced, extending his hand, Peter shaking it.
“Hey- have you heard about a girl? Supposedly her name’s y/n, she knows one of my friends, Oliver. I’m sure she’s nice but apparently she’s super well known.” Tom told Peter, who shook his head.
“No I haven’t. Hey, Thomas-”
“Call me Tom!” Tom interrupted.
“Alright, Tom! I’m gonna go find my aunt, I’ll see you back here.” Peter told him, earning a nod from his roommate.
Peter made his way back to May, who had already began unpacking. “Peter! You all checked in?” May asked, wiping some sweat from her forehead.
“Yeah. Met my roommate too. Said something about a girl named y/n who knows his friend Oliver.” Peter relayed the information Tom told him to his aunt while helping her unpack the boxes.
“Hopefully they’re nice, honey.”
“Yeah, I can’t wait to meet them.”
-
Hours later and Peter was moved in with Tom and all of them were drenched in sweat. Tom and his parents had gone to see what the rest of the evening entailed, while May and Peter hung out in the dorm. “Alright well, you’re moved in. Anything else you need?” May asked.
“Maybe we should see where the counseling center is. You know, just incase.” Peter said, May nodding.
“Of course, honey. Then let’s get some food.” She said, putting her hands on her nephew’s shoulders.
The pair had found the counseling center, before going to get food. They ate with minimal conversation, neither of them wanting to say the one word they had to, though May would be staying in a nearby hotel because of the long drive.
Eventually, the time had come and the two had to part. “Promise me you’ll call me if you need anything? You know I’m right up the street for tonight and my phone is always on incase you need me and you have Tony’s number- Oh! Let me give you Ned’s mom’s number in case you ever want to talk to her instead and-”
“May, May, I promise I’ll call. I’ll be okay, yeah?” Peter promised, placing his hands on her shoulders. She pulled him into a hug, Peter tucking his head into May’s neck, a habit he had picked up since he returned.
“See you tomorrow, goodnight. Sweet dreams. I love you so much.” May whispered against his forehead before placing a kiss there.
“I love you too, have a good night.” Peter responded.
-
Opening his dorm, he was met with his roommate on his laptop.
“Hey Peter.” Tom greeted.
“Hey Tom.” Peter responded, getting a bag ready to go take a shower.
“Listen, when you get back, I think we should get to know each other.” Tom told him. Peter groaned internally. He didn’t feel like recalling his time in the soul stone tonight. He never did, but especially not tonight. He wanted to sleep peacefully, without nightmares brought on by those memories.
“Yeah, uh, sounds good.” Peter responded, before heading to the showers.
When he returned, Tom was still there, still clicking away on his computer.
“So where ya from?” Tom asked him.
“Queens. You?”
‘I’m from Providence. It’s in Rhode Island. What are you majoring in?” He replied.
Peter put his things away, hopping onto his bed. He hoped Tom didn’t bring up the Avengers or what happened after he returned at all that night.
“Brain and cognitive science with a minor in biology. How about you?” Peter responded, opening his phone to see a text from May, saying that she missed him already.
Peter’s friends and family were surprised when he said he wanted to major in brain and cognitive science and minor in biology. They were sure he’d do chemistry or engineering of some sort. The other person who wasn’t surprised was Tony, but that was because Peter told him. After nearly a year of dealing with anxiety, numbness, and PTSD, Peter told Tony that he wanted to study what goes on in the human brain so he could figure out what what was wrong with him. Tony told him the symptoms he was continually experiencing were quite common, and to try not to think of it as there was something was something wrong with him, rather that he was in the process of healing and that it takes time. Peter wasn’t convinced, but accepted the explanation.
“Nuclear science and engineering.” Tom told him, Peter muttering a “that’s cool” before turning his attention back to his phone to reply to May.
“So you haven’t heard of her? Y/N?” Tom asked, breaking the silence.
“No, why?” Peter replied, confused as to why Tom was so hung up on her. Maybe it was his ex, maybe it was his crush. Whatever the case, Peter didn’t see the big deal.
“I guess we’ll find out a little later in the week. She’s friends with my friend and he said she’s cool but kinda shady.” Tom said, still typing away on his computer while Peter, though it was early, went to sleep, hoping he had a peaceful sleep.
-
Peter woke up at 6 am the next morning. He didn’t have any nightmares, but he didn’t sleep great. Maybe it was the feeling of anxiety he felt the entire night, maybe it was because it wasn’t his own bed from home. He grabbed some shorts and a t-shirt, heading to the bathroom to change and wash his face. Glancing in the mirror, Peter sighed. He had no sense of identity anymore, before he could say he was Spiderman, a hero, a kid genius. Now he felt as if his experience in the soul stone was his identity and it was filled with an empty hole. He splashed some water on his hair, trying to get his curls looking at least decent before leaving the bathroom.
-
“Okay honey. Time for me to go.” May said, holding Peter at arms length. Her voice cracked when she spoke, making tears fill up in Peter’s eyes as he nodded. “I love you. Please call. And no drugs or alcohol, please. If you’re gonna drink do it responsibly. I don’t want to get a phone call saying you’re in the hospital for drug or alcohol related accidents.” She cried, pulling her nephew in for a tight hug. Peter nodded into her shoulder.
“I love you too.” He muttered, wiping his eyes.
“I’ll see you soon, yeah?” May said, assuring both of them.
“Yeah. Have a safe trip home.” He told her, making her nod.
“I’ll text you when I get home, alright?” She smiled sadly. Peter once again nodded wordlessly, giving her one last hug before he watched her get into the car and drive off.
“Hey! Peter!” He heard. Wiping his eyes, he turned around to see Tom standing there with another guy and a girl. “Hey man this is my friend Oliver and the girl I told you about. This is y/n.”
**Peter had never seen a girl so beautiful. She was radiant and her beauty was so effortless. Everything seemed to move in slow motion when she moved, her hair blowing gently in the late summer breeze behind her.
“Hey. I’m y/n.” She introduced, holding out her hand. Peter was frozen, captivated by her before he finally placed his hand in hers, shaking it gently.
“P-Peter. I’m Peter.” He stammered. She smiled and Peter swore the sun got a little brighter.
“C’mon. I’ll introduce you to some friends.” She offered, Peter smiling and following her.
They made their way to an empty classroom, where there was a group of people all sat in empty desks.
“Geez y/n we thought you wouldn’t show up.” One of them said, Y/N rolling her eyes.
“Oh be quiet you know how I am.” She replied, a smile on her face.
“She’s right.” A softer voice giggled.
“Peter these are my friends. Simon, Charlotte and Paige. You already know Thomas and Oliver. Everyone, this is Peter. He’s Tom’s roommate.” y/n introduced. Everyone nodded and smiled, Peter returning the gestures as they sat down. “Simon and Paige are dating and Charlotte and Oliver are dating. I’m sure Tom would’ve told you by now if he was taken.” She grinned, Tom rolling his eyes.
“Hey I’m trying, okay? College is supposed to be full of cute girls.” Tom pouted.
“We haven’t even started classes! We only just moved in today!” Paige pointed out. “How could you possibly be trying?”
“Hey y/n why don’t you tell us your relationship status since you’re roasting Tom about his!” Oliver interrupted, his arm around Charlotte, who giggled. y/n raised her hands in surrender, a soft smile on her lips.
“It’s complicated.” She answered, winking at Peter, who blushed.
-
Peter spent most of the day with his new group of friends, getting to know each of them and each of them getting to know Peter. They knew he was Spiderman and that he returned from the soul stone, but respected him when he said he didn’t want to talk about his return or experience in the soul stone and didn’t bring it up. The group decided to get dinner before going their separate ways to prepare for the first day of classes the next day.
“So you like her? y/n?” Tom asked as him and Peter entered their room.
“Hm? Yeah. Yeah she’s nice.” He replied, reaching into his pocket to get his phone to text May. To his surprise, when he opened the message app, y/n had texted him, asking him if he wanted to get lunch the next day.
Peter was confused. This was sent to only him, not the group chat they had made. “I’m going to take a shower!” Tom told Peter. Peter nodded, telling him he was gonna go take a walk around campus and familiarize himself with the layout.
-
The summer night air felt nice against Peter’s skin. It wasn’t too hot, like it was earlier. But it wasn’t too cold, like Peter knew it would get as summer transitioned into fall. Looking up to the sky, Peter smiled when he wasn’t able to see a few constellations and stars against the navy blue with a hint of pink and yellow sky.
“Peter?” A voice called. “That you?”
Peter turned around, seeing y/n.
“Hey.” He smiled.
“Mind if I join you?” She asked, Peter shaking his head.
“Not at all.” This time it was her turn to smile, her eyes sparkling under the minimal light from the building they were in front of and the moonlight. “So how do you know so many people already?”
“Orientation.” She responded as the pair walked. “We all met at orientation and clicked right away.”
“That’s really nice.” Peter replied honestly, y/n nodding in agreement.
“So what else is there to know about you, Peter?” y/n asked.
“I dunno. Not much really.” Peter shrugged.
“Are you single or taken?” Peter felt his face heat up at the question.
“Single. Why?” He answered, making her shrug.
“‘M curious.” She told him, glancing at him. “Ever kissed anyone?” Peter shook his head.
“Hm. I thought you would’ve by now, you’re cute.” She said, grinning when he blushed. “You know, it’s okay to struggle sometimes.”
Peter’s eyes widened. “How did you-”
“I saw you going to the counseling center with your mom.” She cut him off, making him nod. “I may go sometimes. I wanted to check it out. You were just there at the same time.”
“My aunt.” She looked at him questioningly. “I was with my aunt. Both of my parents died when I was younger.” He told her, answering the question she didn’t ask but Peter knew she would ask.
“My dad died when I was young. ‘S just me and my mom.” She said.
“I’m sorry. It sucks.” Peter spoke, making her nod enthusiastically in agreement.
“The stars look so pretty at night.” She hummed, looking at the night sky decorated with the stars. “You like space, Peter?”
“Not really.” He winced. “The stars do look nice, though.”
“They do.” She sighed. “I love astronomy. I think it’s so interesting and space is so beautiful.”
“I’m more of a chem person.” Peter answered simply, earning a ‘valid’ in response.
“Well. I better get going. Classes tomorrow.” She grunted, pulling herself off the grass, Peter following her movements.
“Well, it was nice talking to you.” Peter said.
“Yup. I wanna do it again sometime.” She told him, grinning when he blushed again.
“Do you mind if I kiss you?” She asked, taking Peter by surprise.
“What? Is-isn’t your relationship status complica-”
Peter was cut off by her lips on his cheek in a kiss that was over almost as quickly as it started.
“I’m a complicated girl.” She winked. “See you tomorrow!” She called as she walked back to her dorm.
As Peter walked back to his, his mind was reeling with what happened. He wondered why she wanted to kiss him, even if it was only on the cheek and why her relationship status was complicated. He wondered why she said she was complicated. Peter wanted those answers but coming from his own experience, he hated when people asked about personal things he didn’t want to talk about.
His mind wandered to the interest he picked up after he returned: quotes. More specifically, last words. He loved regular quotes, ones that inspired him each and every day but since he became dwelling on his own last words, his focus shifted to last words. He became replaying his last words ‘I’m sorry,’ over and over again in the soul stone, wondering if anyone besides Tony knew his last words and if they made an impact on anyone.
His favorite that he found was by Richard Feynman. He said “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
Peter hoped he wouldn’t die again for a long time or lose someone close to him. For Peter, death was more than boring. Death was emptiness; it was a void that was never filled no matter how much Peter yelled, screamed or cried in the soul stone. He hoped nobody would ever feel that way.
It never occurred to him that someone might be feeling that way while they were alive.
71 Days before (9/24/19)
It was nearly a month into the semester and Peter was slowly but surely adjusting to college life. It had taken him a little while to get used to waking up in a place that wasn’t his apartment in New York and in the beginning, Peter found himself waking up in a panic some days because the thought of ‘what if I’m back in the soul stone?’ made its way up to the front of his head and manifested itself in his thoughts.
Since it was nearly a month into the semester, midterms were coming up. Students all over campus were panicking about midterm grades and exams, as well as the occasional midterm project. Peter and his group of friends had been spending lots of time in the library, prepping for exams.
Peter was most worried for his cellular and molecular neurobiology midterm. He understood the information, it was just a lot of information. Plus, he had three other exams to worry about.
Despite the stress that came with midterms, Peter had enjoyed getting to know his new group of friends, particularly y/n. He still thought she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen and she intrigued him. She was closed off and reserved, yet was so open about other things. She barely had to study but got all As on her assignments. She was spontaneous, yet planned out things like getting lunch or dinner. She was an Anthropology and Humanities double major, a combination that would stress most people out to no end, but not her.
Peter got lunch with her often, if he wasn’t eating with her, he was eating with Tom or the whole group was eating together. They laughed and joked around and most of the time on the weekends, they preferred to go to someone’s room, make a ton of popcorn and watch a movie rather than go to a party, though they did go to the occasional party and make fun of who was the funniest while drunk.
While the weather was still nice, Peter found himself studying outside in the quad, looking over his google doc of notes and diagrams while listening to spotify-made playlist. He usually made his own, but since coming back, he found he barely had the energy or creative motivation to make new playlists.
“Let me guess. Studying for cellular and molecular neurobiology.” A familiar voice interrupted the instrumental music playing softly in his headphones.
Taking them off, he was greeted with y/n sitting across from him, smiling softly. He paused his music, putting his headphones away before turning to her.
“How’d you know?” He chuckled.
“‘S what you’re always studying for. Do you even study for your other exams?” She teased, making Peter roll his eyes, though he couldn’t ignore the way his heartbeat sped up.
“Have you studied for any of your exams?” He retaliated, making her feign offense.
“I have, actually! I studied a solid hour for my intro to anthropology exam!” She replied.
“Wow I’m shocked.” Peter laughed. “Are you here to study or did you just want to come tell me that you studied for one exam?”
“Wow, Parker. Wanna get rid of me that badly?”
“F course not. If I wanted you gone so badly, I would’ve asked you leave ages ago.” He chuckled, earning another eye roll.
“Listen, midterms are over on Friday for both of us.” She started, Peter nodding. “Wanna do something fun Friday night?”
“Like what?” Peter asked, curious as to what she had in mind.
“Dunno.” She shrugged. “Like a party or something.”
“Yeah sure. Um, is everyone else going?” Peter felt his heartbeat pick up again as y/n shook her head.
“Nah. Pretty sure some of them got midterms on Monday. Besides, I think we should be able to have a night to ourselves. Don’t ya think?” She asked him, eyes wide and sparkling under the fall sunlight.
“Yeah. Yeah for sure.” He answered nervously.
“Cool! I’ll text you on Friday to tell you the details!” She spoke enthusiastically, getting up from the table, giving Peter a wave before heading off in the direction of their res hall.
-
Friday was here before Peter knew it and while the thought of his exam was all he could think about at first, after he finished his exam, he felt himself getting nervous about going out with y/n. Was it a date? Did she like him? Did he like her?
His thoughts were interrupted by his phone vibrating, signaling he got a text. Checking his phone, he saw it was from y/n, telling him to swing by her dorm around 8 to head over to the party she had decided on.
He replied, telling her that sounded like a good plan, before checking the time. 5:30 pm. He sighed before texting Tom to see if he wanted to get dinner. Tom replied quickly, telling Peter that sounds good and to meet him in the dining hall.
Peter made his way to the dining hall, seeing Tom walking up to the entrance.
“Tom!” Peter called, waving at his roommate from a few feet away. Tom paused and waited for Peter, greeting him with a pat on the shoulder.
The pair headed inside, asking each other about their days and if they had any exams and if they did, how they went. The conversation was mundane until they finally sat down with their food.
“So do you have any plans for tonight?” Tom asked.
“Uh, yeah. y/n and I are gonna go to a party.” Peter responded, seeing Tom tense up.
“Just you and her?” Tom asked, Peter nodding.
“She said it’s to celebrate finals being over for us.” He replied, Tom sighing.
“Is there something going on between the two of you?” Tom looked at Peter, hoping he’d tell the truth.
“I dunno. Don’t think so.” Peter muttered.
“Do you want there to be something between the two of you?” Peter only shrugged at this question, the two of them eating in near silence before they headed back to their room.
Peter got ready fairly quickly, letting Tom know when he was planning on leaving to go get y/n.
“Be careful, man.” Tom cautioned.
“Yeah I will, don’t worry.” Peter responded casually.
“No I mean with y/n. You don’t know her.” Tom warned, Peter mumbling a response before leaving.
Peter knocked on y/n’s door, smiling when she swung open the door.
“Ready to go?” She asked, Peter nodding.
“Where are we going?” Peter asked, curious as to what party she had found.
“Just a frat party on campus should be fun.” She replied, leading the way to the party.
They arrived in a few minutes, y/n greeting the boy at the door, briefly introducing Peter before dragging him to the kitchen where the drinks were, grabbing shots glasses, pouring alcohol into one and handing it to Peter.
“What is this?” Peter asked as y/n finished her first shot.
“Vodka. Drink.” She instructed, taking another shot.
Peter did as she told, nearly vomiting at the feeling of the alcohol running down his throat. She poured him another, and another, and another until they were both drunk enough to let loose, but not enough to blackout.
Don’t Tell ‘Em played hazily in the background, Peter and y/n dancing as well as they could with the alcohol in their system.
When My First Kiss came on, y/n turned around to face Peter, throwing her arms around his neck.
“You’ve never been kissed before, right?” She asked, Peter shaking his head. “Perfect.”
Next thing he knew, her lips were on his in a messy kiss, her hands cupping his cheeks while his made their way to her waist.
Peter knew in the back of his mind that they would have too talk about this at some point, but between her lips on his and the alcohol in his veins, he couldn’t find it in himself to care and pushed the thought away to deal with it another day.
50 days before (10/15/19)
It had just about been a month since Peter and y/n went to the frat party and they hadn’t talked about what had happened. Peter brought it up to her briefly, but y/n had brushed it off as being and it not meaning anything.
Peter couldn’t lie, that hurt, but he tried to ignore it. That worked for a while, he was able to ignore the butterflies he got in his stomach when she was around and the way his heart beat faster when she walked in the room.
But then they kissed again. And again. And again.
Currently, she was sat on Peter’s lap, both of them fully engrossed in a messy kiss, her hands cupping his cheeks, his resting softly on her waist.
“Hey,” He mumbled as she pulled away. “Can I ask you something?”
“You just did.” She replied, her eyes still focused on his swollen lips.
“What are we? What is this?” He asked, gesturing to the space between them.
“We’re friends, Peter.” She muttered.
“Friends don’t kiss. At least not the way we do.” He replied.
“Fuck, Peter. We’re just fucking friends.” y/n groaned, climbing off his lap.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay. If you wanna be just friends, we can be just friends.” Peter soothed, as much as it hurt him.
“Good. We’re just friends.” She grumbled, turning away from the door.
Peter sat down on his bed, allowing her to climb right back onto his lap, Peter brushing some of her hair out of her face.
“You’re really pretty.” He sighed, earning an eye roll from her.
“Shut up and kiss me.” She mumbled, pressing her lips to his. Their kiss was interrupted when Tom walked in, immediately groaning and covering his eyes.
“Jesus can you two get a room?” He grumbled, putting his stuff.
“Technically, we did.” y/n giggled, making Peter smile and Tom roll his eyes before y/n turned back to Peter. “I better get going.”
She climbed off his lap once again, this time Peter following her, watching as she put her shoes on, before giving Peter one last kiss and leaving.
“Sure there’s nothing going on between you two?” Tom asked, sitting down at his desk and taking out his computer.
“Nope. She says we’re just friends.” Peter insisted, taking out some homework to work on.
“Well what do you say?” Peter shifted uncomfortably under his roommate’s gaze.
“I say…whatever she wants to be, that’s what we’ll be.” Peter responded.
“I’m telling you, man. You gotta be careful. She’s playing you.” Tom warned. “I’ve talked to Paige and Simon and they said that y/n told them she’s been hooking up with some frat boy on campus.”
Peter felt his heart clench at the revelation, but didn’t say anything, rather, put some music on and focused on his homework, even though it was Saturday and he’d much rather be reading a book or playing video games.
The next day, Peter went to y/n’s room, where rather than make out, y/n just wanted to talk.
“What d’you want to talk about?” Peter asked nervously, y/n shrugging as she let him into her room.
“Anything and everything.” She replied, laying down on her bed, motioning for Peter to join her. “What’s something no one knows about you?”
Peter thought for a minute before responding. “I, uh, kind of got interested in last words and quotes about death after I came back.”
“Why?” y/n asked, looking up at Peter.
“I don’t know. I guess I had just had so much time to reflect on mine before I came back, I just wanted to know what other people had to say.”
“That’s fair.” She replied. “What was it like?”
“What was what like?” Peter answered nervously, knowing she meant being in the soul stone, but wanting to hear her say it.
“Being in the soul stone.” She told him, making the knot in Peter’s stomach grow tighter.
“Um,” He sighed. “It was really dark. And empty. And cold. No matter how much I yelled or screamed, no one heard me.”
“Do you think that’s what it’s like when we die?” She asked, looking up at her ceiling.
“Yeah. I think that’s exactly what it’s like when we die.” Peter told her honestly.
“Wow.” She sighed.
“Yeah. Wow.” Peter felt her move to lay down on his chest. “Do you have plans for Thanksgiving?”
“Nope. I was planning on staying here. That’s far away, though.” She replied.
“Really? Not going home?” He asked, surprised.
“Nah. Going home is hell for me. I’d be going home to a loveless house.”
“You could come to my apartment.” Peter offered, making her look up at him yet again, this time her eyes full of surprise and hope.
“Really?”
“Yeah I could ask my aunt. ‘M sure she wouldn’t mind, though. Especially given your circumstances.” He assured her.
“Wow, uh, yeah, sure Peter! I’d love that.” y/n grinned, cuddling back into his chest.
The two of them laid in silence for a little bit before Peter decided to confront y/n with what Tom had told him the day before.
“Hey y/n?” He asked. When he got no reply, he looked down to find the girl fast asleep on his chest. He smiled, giving her a gentle kiss on the forehead, deciding that asking her about who she was hooking up with could wait for another day.
-
It wasn’t until Wednesday of the next week that Peter could ask y/n about what Tom had told him.
“Hey y/n? Can I talk to you about something?” He asked, sitting next to her on a picnic table outside in between classes.
“Sure. What’s up?” She replied, looking up from her anthropology book.
“Uh, someone told me that you were hooking up with a frat boy on campus. Is, um, that true?” He scratched the back of his neck, something he did when he was nervous.
“Yup.” She replied.
“So what am I?” Peter couldn’t help himself asking.
“What are you? Peter you’re my friend. We’ve been over this.” She groaned.
“y/n you’re just using me.” Peter snapped.
“Yeah, and? I don’t date, Peter. You should know this by now.” y/n replied, both of them getting frustrated.
“Okay so you don’t date. But you’re leading me on and hooking up with other guys in your free time!”
“Not my fault you fell for me, Peter. And if you seriously can’t deal with me simply making out with you and nothing else, maybe we shouldn’t be friends anymore.” She spoke harshly.
“I’m not gonna keep hurting myself to please you.” Peter mumbled softly after a moment of silence.
“Okay. Bye, then.” She waved him off, turning back to whatever she was doing, while Peter walked away, unsure of how this would affect everyone else in their friend group.
20 days before (11/14/19)
Barely a month had passed since the fight between Peter and y/n. Tom, Paige, and Simon supported Peter and his argument while Charlotte and Oliver favored y/n’s side. The group all hung out together, but there was an unspoken tension in the air that was splitting them apart.
Thanksgiving was coming up, but with Thanksgiving, came finals soon after. All the students kept this in the back of their minds, but still looked forward to their few days off.
Peter had texted May briefly, but hadn’t called her in a while or told her what really happened between him and y/n. He was in the middle of doing homework when he felt his phone vibrating, prompting him to pick up and check, seeing an incoming call from May.
“Hello?” He answered.
“Hey honey! How are you?” May asked cheerily.
“‘M okay, just doing homework.” Peter responded.
“Yeah? How are your classes going?” May’s voice softened when she heard her nephew’s soft voice.
“Good. They’re good.” He told her, almost sensing the frown on the other side of the phone.
“And you, Peter? How are you doing?” May asked again.
“‘M doing okay.” He told her, hearing her sigh.
“Peter, sweetheart, you can be honest with me.” May told him. “Are you going to the counseling center?”
“No, I don’t need to. ‘M not having nightmares.” Peter replied honestly.
“Well that’s great honey, but you don’t sound like you’re doing alright mentally.” May pointed out, Peter sighing.
“It’s a long story, May.” He nearly whispered. “I got into a fight with one of my friends.”
“Aw sweetie I’m sorry. You wanna talk about it?” She asked sympathetically.
Peter shook his head, forgetting that May couldn’t see him.
“No, ‘s okay. I’ll tell you about it over Thanksgiving.” He responded,
“Okay honey. I can’t wait to see you again.” She smiled.
“Can’t wait to see you too, May. ‘M excited to come home.” He breathed. As much as he loved college, he was getting homesick.
“Good. I’m glad. I miss you, Peter.” May told him.
“Miss you too, May.” Peter sighed.
“I’ll let you get back to your homework now. Love you, Peter.” May smiled.
“Love you too, May. See you soon.” Peter said, hanging up and putting his phone down.
He did a couple more problems before he was interrupted by Tom coming into the room.
“Hey man.” Tom greeted, taking out one of his earphones. “How were your classes today?”
“I mean they were good but I’m so tired. I could fall asleep right now.” Peter chuckled.
“Oh same. I just wanna sleep.” Tom replied. “Early night tonight?”
“If I can finish these problems.” Peter laughed. “Did you wanna get dinner tonight?”
Tom nodded. “Wanna go soon?”
Peter felt his stomach growl. “Yeah. For sure.”
“Cool. I think I’m gonna take a quick shower and then we can go?” Tom suggested.
“Sounds good.” Peter told his roommate, who gathered his stuff before heading to the bathroom.
Peter watched as Tom walked out before turning his attention back to his homework, trying to concentrate. His mind however, filled with thoughts of y/n. Even though they had fought and even though she hurt him, he still couldn’t stop thinking of her. To Peter, y/n was the prettiest girl he had ever met. The thoughts of her were still enough to give him butterflies and make his heart beat a little faster.
He wished they hadn’t fought. He wished he could still be with her but as her boyfriend.
His thoughts were interrupted by Tom coming in, towel drying his hair as soon as the door closed.
“Ready to go?” Tom asked Peter, who nodded.
“Yeah.” He responded quietly, making Tom look at him with concern.
“You okay, man?” Tom checked, Peter nodding slowly.
“Yeah. ‘M fine.” He muttered. Tom didn’t think Peter was fine, but he dropped it.
If there was one thing he learned about Peter since meeting him, it was that Peter would open up if and when he was ready, but not to pry.
7 days before (11/28/2019)
“I think you should talk to her.” May told her nephew at Thanksgiving dinner. Just like previous years, it was just the two of them enjoying a meal they made together.
“What if she doesn’t want to talk to me?” Peter asked quietly, taking a bite of turkey.
“Sweetheart it’s thanksgiving. Didn’t you say she wasn’t going home for the holiday? She’s probably all by herself at school. Give her a call.” May responded.
Peter sighed, knowing she was right. He smiled softly, letting his aunt know he would call y/n when dinner was over. The two finished their meal with Peter telling May all about school and how classes were going and which finals he was most worried about.
When they were done, May excused Peter to give y/n a call rather than help her with dishes like she usually insisted he do.
“Are you sure?” He asked, May smiling and nodding in response.
“It’s getting late, go call her before it gets too late.” May instructed. Peter thanked her and told her he’d be back to help her after he got off the phone.
As he made his way to his room, Peter felt the pit in his stomach grow. What would he say? What would she say?
He took a seat on his bed, took a deep breath, and pulled out his phone, glancing through the text messages from Mj and Ned who were both asking when they’d see him again.
He made a mental note to reply to them afterwards. Dialing her number, he shakily brought the phone to his ear while it rang.
The more the phone rang, the more nervous Peter got. The phone rang and rang and rang and eventually Peter thought she wouldn’t pick up until-
“Hello?”
“y/n?” Peter asked, shocked she picked up.
“Peter.” She responded simply.
“Um, Happy Thanksgiving.” He mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand.
“Happy Thanksgiving. You at home?” She asked, Peter nodding even though she couldn’t see him.
“Yeah, I am. Where are you?” He asked, this time she shrugged on the other side of the phone, even though he couldn’t see her.
“At school.” She told him.
A silence took over the pair before Peter broke it.
“Hey y/n?” His voice was soft, almost a whisper.
“Yeah Peter?”
“‘M sorry about the fight.” He mumbled.
“Me too, Peter. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” She said softly.
“‘S okay. I miss you.” Peter smiled sadly.
“Miss you too. You coming back on Sunday?” She asked.
“Yeah. Looking forward to finals.” Peter chuckled.
“Shut up. Don’t remind me.” She laughed. “Wanna hang out when you get back?”
“Of course.” Peter answered.
“Awesome. See ya then.” She grinned.
“See you then. Nice talking to you, y/n. Hope you had a nice holiday.”
“You too, Peter.” And with that, they hung up, both of them relieved.
Peter texted Mj and Ned back before heading back to the kitchen where May was setting up dessert.
“Hey honey! How was it?” May smiled.
“Good. Really good. We’re okay.” Peter answered, smiling.
“Good. I’m glad.” May grinned.
“Me too, May.”
1 day before (12/3/2019)
y/n was in Peter and Tom’s room. The three of them were hanging out and y/n had a little too much to drink. Both boys knew she kept alcohol in her room and knew she must’ve been drinking before she sloppily knocked on their door.
It was entertaining, though. She was rambling and telling funny stories, Peter thought she was adorable.
“I can’t believe finals are soon.” She gasped suddenly, sitting up on Peter’s bed.
“Came up fast, didn’t they?” Peter chuckled.
“So fast. Like…like a race car on a racetrack.” She mumbled, eyes wide. “Oh my god..I’m in college!”
“Pretty sure you have been for the past three months.” Tom chuckled.
“Well yeah but I didn’t ever think I’d make it to college.” She responded. “Thought I’d be dead by now. Surprised I held on for so long.”
Peter and Tom went silent. They knew exactly what she meant, though it was a shock to them. She was so happy and energetic, seemed like the happiest girl in the world. Neither of them suspected she was anything but happy most of the time.
“Wanted to die for so fucking long.” She mumbled softly. “‘M doing better, though. I feel better.”
“That’s good, y/n. Really good.” Peter told her honestly.
“Won’t feel good in a few hours though.” She muttered, taking a sip of vodka from a half empty mini bottle. “Will feel sick.”
“Uhh where’d you get that?” Tom asked, confusion taking over both him and Peter’s faces.
“This?” She responded, holding up the mini bottle of alcohol. “Brought it over here. Want some?”
Tom shook his head.
“Peter?” She offered.
Peter shook his head.
“Well,” She shrugged. “More for me.”
She continued drinking until the bottle was empty.
“Peter.” She spoke, sloppily moving over to Peter, who was sitting on the floor.
“Yeah y/n?” He replied.
“I like you. A lot.” She giggled, resting her head on his chest.
“I like you too.” He smiled.
“No! No like…I like you. In a more than a friend way.” She giggled again.
Peter froze, not knowing what to say or how to react.
“Oh shit.” Tom mumbled.
“I really do.”
“y/n you’re drunk..” Peter’s voice trailed off.
“Drunk words are sober thoughts, Peter.” She said softly, laying on his chest a little longer before sitting up. “I’m gonna go back to my room.”
“Are you in the right condition to walk back on your own?” Peter asked.
“It’s only a few doors down, Peter. I’ll be fine.” She laughed.
“You sure?” Tom asked, earning a nod from y/n, who got up, stumbling slightly.
“Peter, we will continue this later.” She declared, giggling before leaving their room.
Peter and Tom chuckled, before getting ready for bed. Peter picked up the now empty mini vodka bottle, threw it away, turned off the lights and him and Tom went to sleep without a second thought.
After
Peter and Tom woke up the next morning to one of their RAs knocking on the door, announcing a hall meeting. They stepped out, choosing to simply sit in front of their doors, as most of the other sleepy students had chosen to do.
“Okay guys,” one of the RAs said, their voice shaky. “Looks like everyone’s here so we’re gonna get started.”
Peter glanced to his left, across from him, and to his right, but there was someone missing. y/n.
“Wait!” Peter blurted out before he knew what he was doing. “y/n’s not here. should we wait for her?”
The RAs glanced at each other, debating what to tell Peter.
“Please?” Peter whimpered out. “Can we please just wait for her?”
“We don’t usually announce things like this, especially not in this manner but since she lived on this floor, we thought this might be more appropriate. Last night y/n y/l/n was killed. She was walking around Cambridge when she was hit by a car. The driver wasn’t paying attention to the road and ran a red light. They hit her going full speed.” One of the RAs finally told the students, who gasped. “If any of you need any grieving resources, we’re here, but the school will also bring on grief counselors for anyone who needs them. There will also be an email sent out later today.”
Peter didn’t hear the last bit. It felt as if he got the wind knocked out of him- the hall was spinning and he felt sick to his stomach.
Tom sat there in shock, his hazel eyes filling with hot tears.
“They’re lying.” Peter whimpered. “They have to be lying, Tom! We saw her last night- She can’t be dead! She went back to her room!”
“I don’t think they’re lying, Peter.” Tom mumbled, hot tears spilling from his eyes. He didn’t bother wiping them away. “I don’t think she went back to her room last night.”
“W-What if she’s okay, though? Maybe she’s just in the hospital or maybe…she died on impact.” Peter finished softly as reality began to set in. “She’s dead.”
Tom nodded, bringing his roommate in for a tight hug in the middle of the hallway while all the other students went back to their rooms to process their emotions.
“Peter? Tom?” One of their RAs approached them. “Do you guys need anything?”
It was clear that they weren’t okay, but how could anyone be okay after getting news that their friend died?
Peter and Tom both shook their heads. “Thanks though.” Tom told the RA who smiled sadly, giving them each a pat on the back, letting them know that they were there for them if they needed anything before they all went back to their dorms.
Peter felt numb. There was no other way to describe it. He physically felt the tears falling down his cheek and the sunlight coming in through the window of his dorm, but emotionally he felt numb, as if someone froze his emotions.
Tom and Peter sat on the floor of their room in silence that was broken by the occasional sniffle. Both of them sat still, allowing the tears to just run down their cheeks.
“We have classes today.” Peter spoke quietly, standing up slowly. “Should get ready.”
“Guess so.” Tom replied, both of them starting to get ready for the day.
Unlike other mornings, the boys were silent as they got ready. There was no music that played, nor was there conversation between the two of them. They just got ready, grabbed their stuff, and went off to classes or to breakfast without a word.
The rest of the day went by in a blur. Peter went from class to class in a daze, his body physically doing the actions of walking from building to building to his various classrooms, taking down notes and information he’d need to know for finals next week, but his mind was somewhere else.
In his mind, y/n was alive. She was alive and thriving, making jokes and rambling about the stars and her favorite constellations. And that’s where Peter wanted his mind to be. He didn’t want it to be focused in reality and he didn’t want it going back to when he was on Titan, so his mind opted to be somewhere where y/n was happy and alive.
It was a sunny day. It was sunny but that didn’t make sense to Peter because even though y/n was alive in his mind, he still saw people crying and he still heard people talking about it walking around campus. It didn’t feel like a sunny day because y/n wasn’t here with them on campus. It felt like it should be cloudy and rainy even though it was December and people would much rather prefer snow.
May called him later that same evening, after she knew all his classes were done. She wanted to check up on Peter- she got the email from the school about what happened.
“‘M okay, May. Really.” He told her.
“Are you sure Peter? I know you guys were friends-”
“Yeah. Yeah I’m sure. I have finals to worry about.” He assured his aunt, who didn’t believe for a minute that he was okay.
And worry about finals is exactly what Peter did. Over the following week, he buried himself in his work, only taking a break to eat or to get a few hours of sleep.
He seemed to be doing pretty okay on the outside. He saw his friends, he was eating and sleeping, and he felt pretty good about his finals (which, as a college student, is a rare occurrence so feeling good about finals is a different level of feeling good).
Anyone who knew Peter, knew differently. He saw his friends- Simon, Oliver, Paige, and Charlotte, occasionally and only for a short amount of time. He was isolating and distancing himself from his friends, including Tom. They had all picked up on it.
And Peter knew that on the inside, he wasn’t doing well. When he took food breaks, he ate very little. Nights were the worst. He could no longer look at the stars, they were just a reminder of y/n and she wasn’t there anymore to tell Peter if another planet was visible or if you could see the big dipper and outline it for him. He could barely sleep at night, the thoughts and nightmares keeping him up.
In his nightmares he was back in the soul stone. Surrounded by darkness, completely alone. But then there was y/n, crossing a street. No matter how much he yelled and screamed, Peter would only be able to watch as a car collided with her body.
So he did what he could. He went into denial, not allowing his feelings to surface and distracted himself with whatever he could.
He attended the memorial service for y/n with his group of friends. As soon as it was over, he went right back to studying for his finals while his friends went to hang out and spend time with each other.
Finals came and went, and soon it was time for Peter to go home. May picked him up, greeting him with a big hug and asking how finals went, followed by how he was doing.
Both questions were answered with a simple, one word answer; good.
May didn’t believe Peter. She noticed it pretty quickly- he was just like he was when he came back from the soul stone. Withdrawn and in denial.
The pair enjoyed their holiday season and for a brief period of time, it looked like Peter genuinely was doing okay.
That ended pretty quickly. Peter soon went back to spending time alone, cooped up in his room, shutting May out.
It was New Year’s Eve when May called Tony. She told him what was going on with Peter, how he was exactly like he was upon return from the soul stone. Tony was worried about the kid. Grief and guilt are not easy to deal with, Tony knew that better than anyone so he told May he’d be there as soon as possible.
It was 2 pm on New Year’s Eve when Tony knocked on Peter’s bedroom door. May went out to get Peter’s favorite foods for later.
“May, I’m fine I told you-”
“It’s not May, kid.” Tony replied.
There was a pause and some shuffling before Peter opened the door, shock written on his face.
“Mr. Stark? How did you-”
“Your aunt called me. You wanna come out here or should I go in there?” Tony asked, glancing at the mess that was Peter’s room.
Peter wordlessly stepped out of his room, him and Tony taking a seat on the couch. Peter was, in simple terms, a mess. His eyes were red and puffy, his curls were wild and untamed, it was obvious the kid wasn’t doing well at all.
“Why’re you here? Not that I don’t want to see you but May didn’t tell me you were stopping by.” Peter spoke, his voice hoarse.
“She’s worried about you-” Tony started.
“I’m fine.”
“Yeah your current physical state and the state of your room really reflect that.” Tony replied sarcastically. “What’s going on, kid?”
Peter paused for a moment, his eyes drifting down to his lap.
“It was my fault.” He finally whispered, hot tears filling his eyes.
“What was your fault?” Tony asked.
“y/n’s death. She’s my friend.” Peter answered. “Er, was my friend.”
“May told me about what happened. How was it your fault, Peter?”
“I didn’t stop her. I didn’t walk her back to her room and make sure she was settled in. I didn’t tell her that she was too drunk to walk anywhere by herself. She said she was fine and I just believed her!” Peter muttered. “I should’ve done something. Maybe she’d be alive if I did.”
“Peter, listen to me.” Tony told Peter, who had tears falling down his cheeks. “This was not your fault. You didn’t know she was going to go out after that, you believed her because she didn’t give you a reason not to. You can’t blame yourself for that. Trust me, I know what you’re feeling right now.”
“No offense, Mr. Stark, but I don’t think you know anything about what I’m feeling.” Peter mumbled, a silence coming over the two of them.
“Remember Titan?” Tony asked quietly, Peter closing his eyes and nodding. “When Thanos snapped?”
Another nod from Peter.
“Do you blame me for what happened to you?” Tony asked Peter, who shook his head furiously.
“No! No absolutely not Mr. Stark! You couldn’t have known I’d be one of the ones who’d get dusted.” Peter assured Tony.
“I blamed myself for so long.” Tony whispered, tears now filling his eyes.
“But Mr. Stark it wasn’t your fault.” Peter told him.
“I should’ve made sure you got sent home, I never should’ve let you on the spaceship. I should’ve done more to stop Thanos. I should’ve done more to save you.” Tony said.
“Mr. Stark-”
“Eventually I got to the point where I couldn’t live with the hypotheticals and being so totally consumed with the past.” Tony explained. “I had to move forward and accept that I did all I could.”
“How long did that take?” Peter asked quietly.
“Time, kid. It took time for me and it’ll take time for you. It doesn’t happen over night.” Tony smiled sadly.
“Were you angry? Because..I’m really really angry.” Peter said, his voice still quiet.
“What are you angry about?” Peter let out a breath before answering.
“I’m angry at y/n for walking around Cambridge drunk. I-I know that’s not fair but if she just stayed in her room than maybe she’d still be here. I’m angry at the driver who ran the red light and hit her. I’m angry at the universe for taking her away.” Peter spoke, his voice getting louder until he paused and took a breath, allowing some tears to fall. “God, Mr. Stark! It’s not fair! I was happy! I was doing really well! And..and then all of a sudden she was gone! Is it me? Do I not deserve to be happy?”
Tony pulled Peter into a hug, his body shaking with sobs.
“That’s it, kid. Let it all out.” Tony soothed. “You’re gonna be okay. You’re gonna be okay.”
Peter cried until he thought he’d run out of tears and then more would come.
Eventually, Peter pulled away from the hug, wiping his eyes.
“Sorry.” He mumbled, Tony shaking his head.
“Don’t be sorry, kid. This is normal.” Tony assured him. “And, uh, you deserve to be happy. Sometimes these things happen and most times, the timing sucks. It doesn’t mean that you’re being punished for anything or that you don’t deserve to be happy.”
“Sure feels like it.” Peter muttered.
“I know it does.” Tony paused. “Have you put on your suit?”
Peter knew what he was referring to. The suit Tony made for him that Peter got in Berlin. Peter shook his head.
“No. Don’t feel like a hero right now.” He told Tony.
“I know you don’t. You don’t have to put it on right now.” Tony assured him.
“Do..do you think I could ever be able to put the suit on?” Peter asked hesitantly. He was scared for the answer.
“I do.” Tony answered confidently. “It may take some time, and that’s okay.”
“How much time does this…process take?” Peter asked, earning a shrug from Tony.
“It depends, kid. It comes in waves.” Tony answered honestly.
Peter nodded.
“Guess I should clean up my room.” He said, a small smile tugging on his lips.
“Don’t worry about it, kid. Take a shower first. You need to take care of yourself first.” Tony smiled, Peter nodding.
“Yeah. Okay. Thanks, Mr. Stark.” He said sincerely, going to take a shower.
Tony texted May and updated her before going to Peter’s room and cleaning up what he could, at least enough for Peter to walk in it again.
When Peter came out from the shower, dressed in a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, Tony could see he looked much better, even if his little curls were flopping onto his forehead.
May came home as well, bags of Peter’s favorite foods and a couple movies. She gave Peter a hug, rubbing his back softly, mouthing a ‘thank you’ to Tony.
Tony gave Peter another hug before he left, telling Peter to call him or stop by whenever.
Peter spent the rest of that night with May, eating ice cream and watching the ball drop at midnight.
Over the course of his winter break, Peter started reaching out to friends more. He reached out to his college friends, the group of them deciding to go out for dinner at y/n’s favorite restaurant when they’re all back and settled at school. He reached out to Mj and Ned, the three of them reuniting.
Tony was right. The grieving did come in waves. There would be days where Peter felt great and genuinely happy and days where he was sad and down and just needed to have a good cry.
The nights became easier. Peter found that the nightmares were going away and if he did have one, he was able to fall back asleep.
Little by little, he worked his way up to putting on the familiar blue and red suit, then to swinging around Queens again, until eventually, he found himself sitting on the rooftop of an apartment building, staring up at the stars.
y/n was right. The stars were beautiful. He easily found her favorite constellation (the big dipper), a nearby star shining exceptionally bright.
He knew that was her.
Even though she wasn’t able to shine down on earth, Peter knew she was among the stars, shining down on him and their friends, a beautiful sign that maybe things would eventually be okay.
_______________________________________________________________________
#peter parker#peter parker x reader#peter parker x you#peter parker x fem!reader#peter parker x female!reader#peter parker x y/n#peter parker imagine#peter parker fanfiction#peter parker fanfic#peter parker fic#peter parker fluff#peter parker angst#peter parker au#college!peter parker#college!au
130 notes
·
View notes
Text
the kim social test
pairing — jungkook x reader
word count — 15.4k
genre/warnings— fluff, friends to lovers au. domestic!jungkook, jungkook in a towel, kissing, mentions of sex. and they were roommates! trope, namjoon is attractive (even though we all knew this), mentions of drinking because Taehyung creates the Kim Social Test while drunk and Jimin prompts to get wasted maybe more than once. who knows. rom com undertones?
summary — “I’m moving out.”
These are the first words Jungkook hears on a fatal Thursday morning, hands holding onto the kitchen counter.
A mixed feeling paints his expression. “I know we haven’t talked about this, but I think we both know that it’s the right thing to do. I can’t stay here anymore.”
alternatively, “it takes more than five exhibits for you to prove that Jungkook is a zero, according to the Kim Social Test”.
notes — i accidentally started writing this in first person. 3k words into the story i realized my mistake lmao i thought about changing it, but it would have affected the writing style of TKST which was supposed to be a short thing about jungkook and the reader shy panicking, moving in together, becoming friends and guk eventually getting a blowjob. life really be like that sometimes, huh? anyway i hope you all don’t mind because tkst is my baby ♥︎ it might be flawed and i, for myself, can already see space for improvement. reading my a smoking party draft, i can see how much i’ve improved. this style is something fresh and new for me lol i’m so excited to share something i’ve worked on since january. let me know what you think ♥︎
THE KIM SOCIAL TEST
(or “it takes three attempts to realize that Taehyung can be, indeed, right too”)
“I’m moving out”
These are the first words Jungkook hears on a fatal Thursday morning, hands holding onto the kitchen counter.
A mixed feeling paints his expression.
“I know we haven’t talked about this, but I think we both know that it’s the right thing to do,” I add, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, “I can’t stay here anymore.”
“So, you’re moving out. Definitely,” he ruffs his own hair, voice steady and low, his typical morning voice. Even though it seems like he’d like to add more — start asking questions, clear any doubt — I interrupt him, trying to sound as firm as possible.
“Absolutely,” then he nods, slowly, “I’m moving out.”
HYPOTESYS: JUNGKOOK IS A ONE
— 6 months earlier —
It starts like this.
“I’m moving out,” I declare, as Jimin opens a bottle of beer. “Tomorrow, as a matter of fact.”
Taehyung beams, excited, “Y/N! That’s amazing!” - he engulfs me in a friendly hug, laughing openly - “With this short notice? Fucking fantastic. Where are you going to stay, then?”
I see Jimin filling our glasses, a satisfied smile on his lips, too.
I can’t help but sigh at the sight. Things are going to run smoothly from now on. I can feel it. All according to my plan, nevertheless. God knows how much I wanted that job - (“Hello, Namjoon! Yes, it’s still me, any news on the… yes, I know, trust me, I know it’s only been a couple days, yes, they usually take a week or two to choose the interns, let alone the newcomers… That can do! What’s four, five more days? I can wait for weeks. It’s not like I have a place on the line. Or my whole life. Mhm. Yeah. Yes,” smiling sardonically, I start tapping my fingers on the desk, “Always a sweetheart. Thank you again, Namjoon!”) - wanted out of that small, reeking apartment I had, up until yesterday, to share with two guys I hope I’ll never meet again in my life (as Jimin once said, get wasted with me and you’ll forget them. As Taehyung once replied, have sex with me and you’ll even forget your own name. I agreed to the first reasonable proposal, but apparently even getting drunk with Jimin doesn’t help. Especially if, after the second Negroni, sometime before sipping from the glass Jager, you stop thinking clearly and end up at your place with a heavy Jimin partially covering your figure. Ergo, we went home. We woke up with a terrible headache just as my I’d-rather-forget roommate greeted us, more than partially naked, definitely wasted, absolutely stenching).
“I-uh, I think you know the guy? At least, mentioned him a couple of times over the years? Jeon Jungkook?”
Taehyung raises an eyebrow, tongue wetting the upper lip. “The Jeon Jungkook?”
“Roommate of Min Yoongi? The one and only?”
“Yeah, he’s leaving for an internship abroad he didn’t think would win, so he left Jungkook with such a short notice he had to actually go look for someone to pay half the rent with,” I explain, “What’s up with the tone, though? He seemed nice. Over the phone he almost sounded shy. And I’m the one saying he seemed shy. I couldn’t talk to any of you for the first weeks of high school even though we walked the same way home and had known each other for years. Me!”
“The chances of Jungkook being shy are the same as me being a virgin,” Jimin explains, rolling his eyes.
I furrow my forehead. Things don’t add up. “I don’t believe you,” My purple haired friend drops dramatically his head on his hands, “Not the virgin part, I know you won’t tell me whom you had your first time with, which, by the way, rude, but I’m pretty sure there has been one to begin with— “
“Trust me, there’s been even more than one with that same person.”
“Taehyung, gross,” I exclaim, “Not the point. I’m not interested in your sexual life— “
“Don’t knock it ‘til you try it,” Tae shrugs. Jimin groans. I close my eyes, red staining my cheeks—See? Shy! I told them. I’m the shy one. And I can sense a shy one around me. Jungkook gives off this… timid vibe. I’m sure of it, I can’t be wrong, for God’s sake.
“I don’t believe you, at all. Twenty bucks says the guy’s a timid, socially awkward introvert too nervous to muster up the courage to even talk to me.”
They look at me in disbelief. I can’t believe them. I have good instincts. They know it, too. So what? They mentioned the guy a few times over the years. It’s inevitable—they’re friendly, outgoing, extroverts. They know people. They inevitably bump into people when they’re out partying and going to class and joining groups and going to the gym.
Apparently, there are people who can juggle between three different activities while at college. Activities that don’t include showing up to classes, calling your mother at least once a week, and searching for a job. Duh. Who knew?
People nowadays judge before getting to know others. It’s something millennials and elders have in common, every now and then.
Plus, rumours are worse than the Black Plague. You wake up and tell a friend you feel this is your lucky day, then it turns out people say you got up flexing on how you got lucky. And you had your walk of shame. While sore. And naked. Because in this fucked-up scenario, you’re born confident in your own body. And your walk of shame is very valid, even though it’s in your own house. (Read: this is a fucked-up scenario) Gasp! How rumours fly. How much stories are accurately changed and automatically deterred with a simple misunderstanding.
It’s 2019, for Christ’s sake. Give the kid the benefit of the doubt.
“Agreed,” Jimin says, a smug grin on his lips, right before Taehyung shakes my hand, smirking openly.
EXHIBIT A
Okay, so. In hindsight, it’s 2019. Never trust first impressions. Or your superb instincts.
Jungkook? Older than me. Just slightly, however. Bigger than me. Bulkier than what I imagined him to be. Sure, he had a sweet voice but what’s the point, huh, when you’re almost six feet tall and as intimidating as Jimin when he’s dancing? Or Tae when he plays the piano?
“I call bullshit, what the fuck,” I hiss, holding onto my phone, “You agreed to this even after I told you ‘I can’t believe you, you’re fucking making this up’?”
“Especially after that,” Tae sighs, and I want to punch him, “I can’t say no to free money. Well, fairly earned money.”
“Where’s fairness in all this? You let me move in. With a guy. That is—how can I say this?”
“Hot? Very fuckboy-ish?”
I refrain myself from answering. What have I gotten myself into? So much for things finally running smoothly.
“Very Not Shy,”
“Oh, what a curious phrasing. Have you talked to him yet? Or better—proved my Kim Social Test right?”
The Kim Social Test – also widely known among your friends as the infamous Kim Taehyung’s third attempt to be right – is something he made up while tipsy (because he can’t possibly hold his liquors, although one would never hear this coming out from Taehyung’s own mouth), frowning and frustrated. It’s more like an investigation of all sorts aimed to prove one’s social skills, ranking from one, id est a nice, cute introvert who, given the chance, will surprise you, to twenty-three, as in the years Tae and Jimin had known each other when Tae made this test up. Not that I’ll ever admit it to him, but I suppose there’s partial truth somewhere in between all those steps, fuelled by the dark-haired friend of mine’s interest in psychology, reverse psychology, communication, and his instincts.
Step one: talk to the person in question.
Step one failed.
Unless Jungkook’s the one trying to test the KST on me.
“What I’m trying to say,” I begin, unsure, “Is that he smiled. Offered to help with my things. Explained how things work here – anything from the absurd no dating slash no couples! policy, to how to deal with neighbours. Turns out that the landlord is staying on the floor below ours, while the landlord’s son in on the floor above. But I’m digressing,” Taehyung snorts, the great friend, “He was being nice—borderline over friendly, then said not to mind his absence, every now and then, because he needs to de-stress, if I know what he means, and I’m always free to try his car with, uh, him, if I know what he means.”
“So, your paranoid ass is trying to tell me he hit on you twice?”
“I’m finally out of that squalid place even you promptly detested and I knock into this splendid flat – you should see how neat and spacious it is – only for it to be inhabited by some horny guy who’s keen on getting laid. Tell me how I should feel, Taehyung.”
Taehyung stays silent for a hot second, slightly worrying me that he hung up on me.
“I’ll tell you what,” – the best friend suggests, while I start twisting my ring – “Jiminie and I are coming over this evening. He’ll see us, he’ll understand, he’ll back off. In this precise order. You in?”
“Roger that, captain.”
This prompts Taehyung’s laugh, loud and dazzling, the comforting noise filling my ears.
EXHIBIT B
Step one: talk to the person in question.
A month ago, this mere action would have terrified me. Which is a solemn hypocrite thing of me to think, now, because, as a matter of fact, it threw me off. Not one bit of me was safe and sound, after I non-talked to Jungkook when I moved in. I didn’t think I’d ever muster up the courage to converse to him—maybe just to politely decline his feeble and frantic advance.
(“Fuck, you’re so dramatic,” were Jimin’s first words when I opened the door that night. Maybe so, Park.)
However, I was substantially right. I soon realized that maybe my roommate – twenty-two, almost 6 feet tall, shows a playful tendency to wear only commonly dark clothes – really is shy. After Jimin and Taehyung came over, that very same day, he turned into a mess, avoiding altogether eye contact with me, backing away even when my friends – not anymore concerned – offered him dinner.
A spur of bravado, we agreed later on that day. Known that – understanding that maybe he was just as excited and terrified about the new intruder as I was—made us magically forget altogether about that small… incident. About the awkward spur of bravado, I mean.
“Tough Tuesday shift?”
Jungkook is spread on the couch, his long form lost among all the cushions. He’s holding what I assume are papers he needs to grade, several of them scattered on the coffee table before a mug of tea and three red pens. Being an assistant teacher suits him, in a way. He’s tidy, neat, precise – I’ll never stop repeating this sudden realization in my mind. He revealed, on a late night, the movie long forgotten, that doing the laundry calms his nerves. Can’t quite believe that this is the same person who implied he needed sex to relax.
“Let’s say Namjoon doesn’t forget easily,” I try to joke as he grins warmly, adjusting on the couch so that he faces me more comfortably. He studies me as I take off my coat, his inquiring gaze following every move I make – including me staring back at him.
“Seokjin-hyung came by, an hour ago or so,” he announces, passing a hand on the dark grey sweater hugging his torso, “Left something he prepared because he’s convinced I can’t cook. The very same person who taught me how to properly feed myself—can you believe it?”
Although his tone is teasing, tainted by almost pure disbelief, he keeps on grinning. I chuckle. “Yeah, how rich of him.”
“If you’re not planning anything, we could have real dinner together. Finish Haikyuu!’s third season on the couch. We could even just complain about your boss, really. If you’re up for it, I mean,” he rubs the nape of his neck, discarding on the coffee table the papers that moments ago he was holding.
That’s the thing about Jungkook. He’s his very own person, discreet, kind, nonetheless quiet. He does things a lazy eye wouldn’t even notice; someone uncaring would not bat their eyes at his deep, silent actions that speak more than words could ever. It’s more than just wearing his heart on his sleeve – it’s caring and being attentive not just because sometimes it’s convenient or it casually happens. There’s meaning beside his every action, led by his desire to truly be helpful. I can’t shake the feeling that he’s really not the person people make him out to be, and I mentally scoff at Tae and Jimin’s antics when I said ‘Jeon Jungkook?’ and they had answered with ‘The Jeon Jungkook?’, staining his… persona. His kind soul.
I hum, nodding eagerly.
“Yeah, it sounds amazing. I’d like that.”
His bunny smile makes a bashful appearance.
***
Step two: pay attention to the body language. Spot the differences between how the person in question talks and acts.
The first time I hear about Mina it’s on a Wednesday afternoon, and Jungkook’s not home.
Following Namjoon around for the entire day meant that the smart, charming new leader of the Publishing Department – a promotion he got a few days after I became his colleague – got, at the same time, amused by my… consistency and tired of having me as his new shadow.
He, of course, understands what it means to be new, fresh out of college and passionate about my new job and has tried, for the past few days, to challenge my abilities – perhaps soon, yes, but the glint in Namjoon’s dark eyes tells me that he sees in me the same young guy he was himself, not even a long time ago. Hence the try-doing-this-on-your-own with its thrilling sequel I’ll-be-here-when-you’re-done he’s thrown on me lately.
Which is a nice way of saying you’ve become bearable but as the new leader I’ve got more work on my hands, so I can’t guide you through this new world slash don’t make me regret trusting you. I swear, this man has a way with words Hemingway could never.
Anyway, this explains why I’m working on this novel – the debut work of a young writer Namjoon firmly believes in – in our living room, laptop on my thighs and manuscript in my hands. On a Wednesday afternoon. Alone. Because Jungkook’s Wednesdays are, in this order, full of assholes actual-professors that expect the most from him, gym, kick boxing with Yugyeom, and finally coming back home to hit the shower and fucking rest.
Apparently, however, Yoongi isn’t aware of his former roommate’s schedule, because he’s Skype-calling him, in this very moment. I’m not snooping into his stuff, not at all, it’s just that the last time they did this – having a video call like two adorable siblings – Jungkook used my laptop and forgot to log out. Which is a very good explanation for why Min Yoongi’s eyes are staring into mine.
“Y/N?”
“Hi,” I splutter, as surprised as he sounded. “Seems like Guk forgot to log out since you last talked.”
“Oh,” he murmurs, hands in his wet, mint hair. “Is he home? I’ve been trying to get a hold of him, but the kid’s been avoiding all my calls.”
That doesn’t sound like Jungkook. Sure, he’s not winner of the year for the fastest replier ever existed, but in decent time – which can vary between two hours and two days – he gets the message (pun intended) and decides to grace his acquaintances with an answer. Or a call back.
“No—Wednesdays are usually the worst week-days for him,” as I explain, though, I can’t help but notice the deep sigh Yoongi exhales. Or the tiredness of his expression. “…but as soon as I see him, I can deliver a message for you, if you want? He’s gonna be tired, no joke, but I’ll make him call you back, I promise.”
The sympathetic smile he sends my way makes me want to punch my roommate. Which would probably hurt like hell, if the ungodly hours he spends at the gym are anything to go by.
Still: Min Yoongi being exhausted because of him is a good reason why I should at least try to hit him. Min Yoongi is Jimin’s… idol, famous in the music department with a deceiving reputation of being anything but sociable. Wrong, terribly wrong. He’s not. He’s a small loving and caring friend in the body of a small human. The amount of times he called to make sure Jungkook was okay is— truly admirable. (He even helped Jimin with a project of his, once. Hence the epithet of the one and only. I have a terrific theory of him being somehow linked to my Jimin, but no one has still dared to answer me. Jerks. Tae and him both.)
“Sure. Tell him his to talk to his girlfriend. I’m tired of having her blabbing no stop about how much of a jerk he’s turned into lately and disputing whether declining her calls means he’s cheating on her or a strategy of his that will end with Jungkook surprising her on their anniversary.”
Wait, what?
“Jungkook has a girlfriend? He’s in a… romantic relationship that doesn’t involve playing Overwatch with Taehyung on Friday nights?”
“You don’t know about Mina?”
“What the fuck is a Mina?”
He stills for a second. “I… I don’t understand. Are you shitting me?”
“I’m not. I know there’s a strict rule about not bringing your dates over and not fucking in this apartment, but I’ve never heard of her. He never mentioned her. I’ve never seen this girl, never even knew she existed before you told me.”
Yoongi begins scratching his forearms. He tilts his head, staring into the void of his room.
“What the fuck,” is the final summary of his train of thoughts. Yeah, what the hell. “I’m not sure I want to be part of this helping circle anymore. We always joked that Jungkook would turn out to be the reason why Jin-hyung will have grey hair, but I never imagined he’d be mine too. I swear, this kid.”
“I can still talk to him, though. This isn’t lying, not even sure if it counts as lying by omission but…” I shrug, “I don’t know. I’m wondering why he kept his mouth shut.”
Yoongi mutters something I can’t make out, then asks if I can still deliver the message and abruptly ends the conversation.
You live for a month with a guy and think you know him. It stings in a funny way knowing you don’t.
Jungkook finds me on the couch when he comes back home. He has tiredness written all over his face – his crinkled forehead, his sweaty appearance; I can sense it among the silent grunt and deep sighs he exhales thinking I’m not in the living room.
“Hey,” I pout, eyes on the manuscript.
My roommate turns around in a swift move, eyes wide open. “You still up?”
He’s tired. I know he’s tired. His velvet voice doesn’t betray his shape. I don’t buy it.
I hum, turning on the couch so that he can’t see my face, my eyes still on the novel. I can see him pausing and wondering what’s going on in the periphery of my sight.
“Yoongi wants to let you know you should stop ignoring him and your girlfriend so she can stop pestering him. Virtually hugs you and sends a thousand kisses, too.”
He doesn’t say anything for a while, but then I hear his footsteps and I see him in front of me, licking his lips, lost in his thoughts. His fingers move continuously on the bag he’s holding. As I focus my gaze on his face, I realise that what hurts more is that he didn’t trust me enough with this information rather than not fully knowing him, my roommate. It doesn’t concern this specific piece of information, per se, more the fact that he didn’t feel comfortable enough in sharing something that is supposed to make him cheerful and proud. Maybe I projected much, I don’t know? Just because you share a flat with someone it doesn’t mean he’s your friend.
“I didn’t mean to keep this a secret—I swear…” he trails off, and I bite back a laugh, delusion hitting me.
“You don’t have to explain yourself, Jungkook. I’m not your mom and sure as fuck I’m not your confidant. I’m just your roommate. I’m sure it would have come up, if you had to sexile me because of her. Don’t worry,” I spit out, at once regretting my harshness, “I get it.”
“You don’t, though. You don’t know me,” he begins, following me when I get up.
“I know I don’t!”
“I don’t mean it that way, fuck! Y/N!” - he grabs my wrists, eyes darting into mine – “We’re… we’re just in a bad place right now. We needed a pause, I begged for it, but she didn’t want to, so I’m—uhm, choosing not to deal with her at the moment. We’re going through a lot,” he says, pondering his words, thumbs moving on my hands. I freeze at the contact.
“Yoongi doesn’t know. Because she’s mad at me for something that happened a long time ago when we weren’t together. And, fuck, I don’t want Yoongi to think about that time. I don’t want to think about that time. I didn’t think she’d pester him, shit”
The high-pitched laughter he lets out almost frightens me. Jungkook’s fidgeting look pushes me to intertwine our hands. I don’t have time for disbelief towards my own gesture—his former, floating discomfort strays gradually from his body as I do so.
I keep the eye contact with his doe eyes—it happens then. His breathing comes back to normal, his fingers grasp firmly mine. I’m here, I want to say.
I only manage a quiet: “It’s okay. It’s okay, Jungkook” that has him nodding, sure.
“I’m gonna take a shower.” he announces.
“Sure,” I breath out, “Listen. I know I’m not probably the person you’d want to have this conversation with… but if you don’t feel like bothering Yoongi – which you’re not. Unless you call him in the middle of the night – you can always talk to me. Count on me.”
Jungkook pinches the bridge of his noise.
“Wouldn’t it bother you?”
“Of course not, you giant baby.”
He chuckles. “Alright. Wait for me?”
“I’m ready when you are.”
***
“Is there a way to turn sad stories into happy ones?”
My hands fall around the mug. “Have you always been this dramatic or did Yugyeom punch you so hard you’re not well functioning?”
He bites back a laugh. “We both know I’d need a stronger hook to lose consciousness, c’mon.”
“I don’t know,” I play pretend, “The other day Jin barely slapped you and you looked like you wanted to cry.”
“Hey!” his hot cocoa is long forgotten, “I’ll have you know he’s older than me—”
“Oh, so now age matters?”
“—and has been playing kick-boxing for a lot longer than I have. Obviously, he knows what he’s doing!”
“It was just a friendly slap!”
He scoffs, still smiling.
“You know, when Yoongi called he asked me if I knew about Mina and I answered, ‘what the fuck is a Mina?’ which, in hindsight, it’s not a very kind thing to ask.”
Jungkook bursts into a quiet laugh, back against the wall. Maybe being on the carpet isn’t a suiting position to have a talk—about serious matters, too. But Jungkook’s comfortable, and as long as he is, I really don’t care.
It was weird seeing him, even if just for a fraction of a second, losing control.
Maybe he needs a friend more than he knows.
“I met Mina a long time ago. Sophomore year, maybe? I had been dating Sowon for two years then—Sowon and I met in high school, she was my first girlfriend. A bit older than me. When I got into college, we started fighting for the most meaningless things, though. For the last months, ours was an on and off relationship. We broke up and made up all the time; it was actually a relief when we broke up for good. That somehow changed me. I dreaded for anything but a relationship. Jin-hyung likes to say that I turned up to be a handsome fuckboy,” he laughs, staring into the mug, “Yoongi-hyung says it was terrible having me around. I was always off to parties and spent most of my nights in girls’ sororities. I’m not exactly proud of that period. Sowon had disappeared from life by then. I only saw her once again, when she found out I had been sleeping around. I don’t know, she got mad. Really mad. Tried to fuck Yoongi-hyung to get back at me.”
“That’s…” Jungkook looks at me, lips parted. I find out I don’t have it in me to continue my sentence.
“Not ideal, huh?”
“Far from ideal.”
“The hyungs helped a lot, back then. Mina, too. She was one of the girls I had been hooking up with. I can’t say what exactly changed in our relationship, or what she did to make me realize I didn’t want to be careless anymore. One day I started looking at her differently and…” he shrugs, “The rest is history.”
“Damn, and I thought for a solid second that my relationships of five months were a huge fucking goal.” He snickers. “How long have you two been together, then?”
“Two years? No, wait. Almost two years and a half. But lately she’s been hinting that she wants more. Her parents got married very young, and so did her sister. I think she kind of expected me to pop the question, half a year ago. But I haven’t. Which made her think I was cheating on her. Which I’m not. She thinks I’m twenty years old Jungkook all over again. Which, for the third time, I’m not.” He huffs. “I don’t know how to make her understand that we’re young and there’s so much we could be doing rather than worrying about getting married. Christ, I’m twenty-two. I’m barely studying for my master’s degree. She thinks I don’t love her, and it makes me so fucking mad. I begged for a pause. We need some time apart.”
“But you said she refused. Hence why you’re avoiding her.”
“Yeah.” He finishes his hot cocoa off. “Do you think I’m insane for wanting to distance myself for a while?”
“No, I don’t. It may sound cliché, but people who love each other don’t always see eye to eye. They change. Long term relationships require many compromises, and sometimes it’s hard to do that.” I throw my head back against the wall. Jungkook follows my movements with his gaze. “Sometimes you fall out of love, too. Things… happen. People change. There isn’t always a valid reason why. I think that recognizing change is brave. Forcing things to never shift it’s dangerous.”
A peaceful silence falls between our bodies. I can’t help but realize it’s very late. I sneak a look at Jungkook, who’s looking at me with his eyebrows furrowed. I’m glad he decided to trust me.
“You know, for being so short you’ve got an insane amount of wisdom inside of you.”
“Fuck off, Jeon”
He deserves every pillow I’ve thrown him.
EXHIBIT C
“And you expect me to say he’s not a jerk?”
“Well,” Lisa breathes out, downhearted. “I don’t think he knows the very meaning of kindness.”
As an ungainly rustle of papers fills my ears, she exhales, turning to Yuna, a scorn adorning her face.
“Look, have you seen the guy? He’s got a promotion and boom!, there he goes thinking he’s better than all of us combined. Don’t let him get to you, girl. He probably thinks that a discussion on the oxford comma is first date material. Fuck,” she then smiles, a curve void of sympathy, “The guy probably thinks he’s too good for a date. Do you recall the last time he looked as if he fucked someone’s brain out?” Yuna doesn’t answer, instead she opts for smoothing her shirt and Lisa smirks, proud. “My point exactly. He’s a poor jerk. Leave him be.”
It’s not considered eavesdropping if they’re sniping about Namjoon out in the open, right? I’m thrown aback for a solid minute, because, yes, Namjoon is a lot, a deeply wholesome and complex guy to have as your boss, but he’s not that bad. Sure, he has his moments – like any of us has – yet he’s attentive, caring, a tall mentor I’m delighted to have around.
Not to mention the fact that he’s attractive. It’s undeniable. He’s charming because he extrudes confidence when he arguments whilst gesticulating, when he talks back and smiles sharply, when his ideas are picked because original, fresh, on the spot. He trusts and gives, in a manner that can swipe anyone off their feet when adorned with his dimples.
Namjoon’s an attractive man, period.
I frown.
I plop on my chair, coffee in my mug.
Oh my God. Namjoon’s attractive. He’s hot. He’s smart. He’s sarcastic. His humour amazes me first thing in the morning when he hasn’t had his shots of coffee yet and has to talk to people.
Stop, Y/N. Okay, so what? He can be nice to have around. I’m at loss of words – thoughts – when a picture of Namjoon wearing slacks and a white shirt pops in my mind. White shirts fit him so well it’s unreal. Fuck fuck fuck fuck.
“Hey, Y/N,” a voice startles me and, as my eyes widen, I turn towards the person in question, “Mind helping me with these?”
Namjoon – fit Namjoon, Kim I’m-wearing-beautiful-glasses Namjoon - points to papers a now hidden part of me I know she recognizes, and I find myself nodding like an idiot before I can even think of an eligible answer.
Think of unattractive people. People you’re not attracted to. People you would mind undressing you. Touching you. Hugging you. Think of…Jungkook.
Jungkook isn’t… my type. He’s warm, he’s soft with his bunny smile and happy eyes. He wears dark t-shirts on a daily basis. He snorts when his students write absurdities others would cry for. He once tried to inhale six packs of ramen just because Taehyung dared him to. I mentally chuckle at the memory. Think of Jungkook, I repeat to myself. The same Jungkook that swears when playing Overwatch. The same Jungkook that pouts when he studies and frowns as he focuses so hard.
Jungkook would never slam his partner against the door, hands in their hair. He’d never command them to go down on their knees before him. He’s only been in long term relationships. The guy’s probably not even a fan of PDA.
Jungkook is soft around the edges, and shy and cute and definitely someone I’m not attracted to.
“Sure,” I breathe out, a smile tugging at my lips, “Let me see.”
“So,” Jimin begins in a quiet whisper that has me wondering why he can’t speak out loud, “You want to bone your boss.”
I mentally scold the office policy and its daunting, cryptic suggestion to keep a semi-formal appearance. Which translates into high heels. I have to wear high heels. They would be heels – just heels, comfortable, classy, lovely heels – if only there wasn’t what Jungkook defines as height discrepancy. Which translates into I’m short. And it’s 2019. So short people are expected to be tall, in certain circumstances. Like office attire. Even though, to be honest, it’s also my fault. My fault for being so enamoured with the classy and charming – when I told him, Jungkook sneered so hard I thought he was seconds from combusting – clacking heels make on smooth floors.
“That’s—” absurd, I want to say, but I settle with a mellow “—right.”
He’s not wrong. I am in the wrong, though. I open the front door of our apartment building, almost soulless.
“You can’t have feelings for your boss,” Jimin sighs, and I hear in the distance a vague shuffling of clothes. “You can’t be sexually attracted to your boss, either.”
“Do you think I don’t know that?” I greet our neighbours with a nod — actually, neighbour. The landlord, who is now heading out — and, as soon as she leaves, I groan loudly. With cattiness, I push the elevator button, my forehead pressed onto the wall next to it.
“We have to do something about it. This is not happening. And this clearly refers to you drooling over someone you can’t possibly have, for perfectly good reasons.”
“We?” I ask meekly, opening our place’s door. Jungkook’s not home yet, he’s got a late afternoon class that usually drains all his energies, which only means get in the shower before Jungkook does. Ergo, translation sponsored by the creator of the roommate language, thank you very much, the roommate who had to shower multiple times with cold, freezing water, in order to avoid such fucking loathsome situation, should enjoy her roommate’s absence. Especially since he wants all the hot water in the world for himself for the following half hour. Jungkook is caring just like that, yes. I am the luckiest gal in the world.
“Well, it’s not like we can handle you being all gross when talking about this guy’s dimples while sexually frustrated because, and I quote, he’s so fucking attractive.”
“I-I never said I was sexually frustrated, though?”
“Really,” he deadpans, “You did not. So, we didn’t go through a detailed erotic novel based on how you’d call him daddy despite you not wetting yourself at the thought of calling someone your daddy—or how you’d drop on your knees—”
“I think that’s enough, Chim.”
“Yeah,” he groans, “me fucking too.”
I ponder whether asking him what’s bothering him, because there’s clearly something I can’t quite picture troubling one of my best friends. Jimin is altogether the perfect comrade one needs in their life (he’s cool, he gives great advice, he listens, he’s always giving, which applies to a wide range of things, spacing from his shoulder to more practical, capitalistic things you didn’t even know you’d need) and the worst interlocutor one could ever have (he despises talking about his feelings, his thoughts, and never shares unless something huge happens). Jimin’s a solid seven, based on the results of the Kim Social Test. Tae had nodded his head, gravely, then wrote something on the papers he had been holding the whole time he questioned his soulmate.
How I wish I knew how to properly read people like Tae does. Jimin and I once planned to get him tipsy enough to sneak into his chaotic room for plenty of time, so that we’d discover the secret papers – the KST secret papers. Needless to say, we still know shit regarding Kim Taehyung’s enigmas. One day, Chim. One day we’ll discover all of the answers Taehyung hasn’t shared about the infamous twenty-seven steps test.
The moment I take off my shoes, though, something moving in my periphery catches my attention. Something white moving. Proper phrasing, Y/N. Namjoon expects better from you.
Someone… in white… moving?
Ten points to Gryffindor.
Wait.
It’s Jungkook.
My roommate. My shy roommate. Wet. Wearing just a white towel around his waist. Can people actually have a waist this tiny? And since when Jungkook has abs? What the fuck?
“’Min, I’ll call you back.”
“Oh,” Jungkook has seen me, moved in my direction and I shoot my gaze directly on his face. Not an inch below. Nope. I won’t stare at him. (Sure, the guy goes to the gym. The guy has muscles. But abs? Shit.) “When did you come back? I didn’t hear you coming in.”
Jungkook is handsome.
“Seconds ago. Really.”
He looks at me with a lopsided grin, hand rubbing at the nape of his neck. If he notices that my posture is somewhat frozen and my gaze won’t, incidentally, meet nothing but his, he doesn’t say anything, and I’m immensely grateful for that.
It just—struck me in a funny way, I guess. Not everyday you expect your almost naked roommate to greet you like this, coming back home. Nuh-uh. Especially not a roommate you didn’t realise had abs, thank you very much.
“When did you—uhm, when did you come back, though?”
“As soon as I heard my class was cancelled. I’ve been working on those fucking essays ever since, goddamnit. I needed a break, so I hit the shower enjoying your absence very much.” He shoots me a sardonic smile and, for a second, I’m tempted to hit him. But I don’t. He’s fucking naked. His skin is glistening because he’s still wet. He’s… he’s basically a whole adult now, and he still hasn’t learned how to properly use a towel.
Fucking fuck.
He’s wetting the kitchen floor.
Oh my god, get a grip, Y/N.
Eyes up.
“You were right, by the way,” he furrows his eyebrows, adjusting his towel with a hand and opening the fridge with the other, “I had to write them a long time ago. Procrastinating is fucking me up.”
I suppress my next thought as soon as it’s formed and carved into my brain. My heart is burning at how quickly this conversation could take a turn for the worst, so I spur, without thinking, “You’re fucking me up.”
Also known as the very, exact thought that my brain didn’t manage to stifle. Which could mean a lot of things, really! Out of context, yes, it could seem like I meant that in a… sexual way? But in reality—of fucking course not! Have you seen me? Have you seen Jungkook?
Jungkook’s eyebrows raise so much I’m afraid they faded into his hairline. Flush creeps into my face, so I hasten to add: “I’m supposed to take a shower first, you know. I deserve the hot water too. This means you only won this round.”
He grips the fridge door tighter, takes his time licking his lips and—I stop following his movements when he chuckles, his laugh almost lost in the awkward silence I brought myself upon.
“Yeah, war’s still on, shortie.”
I gasp, a loud sound that has him vibrating against the fridge. I’m seconds away from touching his back and get a hold of his attention but I refrain from doing so because—because he’s showing so much skin, smooth skin that would feel like silk under the touch. I can only imagine how my thumbs’ pads would feel, running against his bare body.
Get a grip, Y/N.
“Excuse me? What did you just call me?”
“Mhm?” – he blinks, playing pretend – “What did I say?”
I hastily grab his banana milk from his hands, shoving it away from him and barely above my head.
“Come again, you coward.”
He now faces me, the tip of his tongue wetting his upper lip.
I fucked up, I realize, eyes widening.
I probably have three seconds to surrender before he’ll say or do something that will worsen the situation. The situation being his presence – his mostly naked presence – hurting me and making me flutter and thinking things and…
“You do have a chance of winning the shower game, baby…”
I’m fucked.
“But you lost this battle a long time ago.” his velvet voice whispers as his eyes dart into mine, falling into the darkness of my pupils.
Jungkook grabs the banana milk bottle, his fingers brushing mine and burning me while I can only stare back, mouth agape. He spares a look at his hand making contact with mine, but it’s gone as soon as it begins, because he’s back to staring into my soul and past lives and future ones.
I’m fucked, period.
I gulp when his phone starts ringing and that catches his whole attention.
More so, I feel like I can breathe again.
Jungkook blinks a couple times, his doe eyes darting to where he placed his phone last and, in that moment, I realize that Jimin is right: we have to do something about it.
We need to do something about it as soon as possible.
EXHIBIT D(enial)
Step twelve: what kind of relationship have you established with your person in question? Let yourself find out.
Jimin shakes his purple head from side to side, his thumb stuck in mid air as he stops scrolling down his phone.
“I just don’t understand,” he frowns, smacking his lips, “What am I supposed to tell you? You declined all my plans.”
If I didn’t know him better, I’d say he was whining, the sound loud and deafening, able to soften his features and make him look a lot younger and innocent.
“I know,” it’s my turn to whine and show despair, I now get to crumble under Jimin’s scrutiny. “But I don’t want to date. I don’t want to put myself under all that stress—constant anxiety, fear of not knowing what the other is thinking, undeniable concern because our schedules wouldn’t match… and,” I add, allowing myself to breathe, “I want it to happen casually. I don’t want to force a relationship. The last time I did this it turned out to be a complete failure.”
Jimin sighs, blocking his phone and throwing it away on the couch. Taehyung and Jimin’s flat is suffocating. Hence why we avoid hanging out together at their place—one could say it’s nice, it gives off a cosy vibe and, yeah, in a way I agree. But having to shove Tae’s clothes in order to enter home, cramming into a small place both the kitchen and living room and debating whether the tiny veranda can be considered a new room is too much. (And frankly, concerning. Once, Jimin went outside to fetch underwear. Yeah, underwear.) I’d rather live anywhere but here.
My mind likes to be a bitch, because in a hot second I’m picturing Jungkook doing the most domestic and unfathomable things, like… like, laundry. I see him crouching on his knees, an attentive look offered to his dark clothes only, forehead showing, and tiredness written all over his face. He always smells so good after taking care of his clothes, the detergent’s distinctive smell sticking to his skin for longer than necessary.
“And I don’t want hook-ups. Especially not with people of your choice.”
“Okay, okay. I’ll admit that Tae and I have tried one too many times to match you with… not good fits.”
“Not good fits is a fucking euphemism, Park.”
He snorts, a hand in his hair. “Sorry, sorry. I know. Still, that leaves us…” he pretends to look at a paper in his hands, expression contorted into a delusional one. “Masturbation. Rub one off in the good, old way. Should be fine for a week or two.”
Doctor Park earns a swift prod of my elbow against his thigh, and I’m rewarded with his high-pitched laugh.
“Fucking hell, Y/N, that hurt.”
“This whole conversation hurts, Jimin.” – I sigh, slouching on the couch – “I can’t believe I’m letting you help with this… problem.”
“My dear dramatic friend,” he starts, propping an elbow on a cushion, “you’re just horny. Frustrated. And I don’t know how to help you.”
“That reminds me, you useless purple-haired good-looking friend—”
“…That’s not an insult?”
“…is everything okay with you? I mean – you live with Taehyung, so clearly something is wrong with you, but I mean emotionally? You’ve been a little off these past few days.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah,” my smile is inevitable, “Oh.”
Did he really think people wouldn’t notice? Me, of all people, wouldn’t realize something is wrong from his behaviour?
“No, just—same old, I guess.”
“My Jimin translator is currently fucked up so I need you to repeat what you just said in an understandable way, Min.”
Scratch that, my Jimin translator has always had problems. If it had ever worked, I wouldn’t find myself here, knees brought up to my chest, struggling to hear Jimin talking about his feelings.
He passes a hand through his locks. “I’m holding up just fine? Studying, working, hooking up unlike you.”
“Don’t make it about me, jerk. What about the person you were with, when we talked on the phone yesterday?”
“What do you mean, the person I was with?”
The look on my face makes him groan, hands now covering his eyes. “What gave it away?”
“Happy post coital Jimin is very different from frustrated but not sexually Jimin, I’ll have you know.”
“I don’t even want to know, what the fuck.”
“But I do,” I plea, tugging at the end of his shirt, “Tell me what’s wrong, Min.”
The whining tone of my voice has to do the trick, I reckon, because he’s throwing his head back and hastily grabs a cushion to hold—or to suffocate himself with, I can’t tell.
“I’m sort of—getting over someone. It’s harder than I thought.”
Oh, Jimin.
I’m dramatic, okay? Jimin knows, Taehyung laughs because of this and Jungkook finds it amusing, too. Everybody knows. So, I developed several different scenarios – a wide range of possible things Jimin would share (finally) with me, but none of them resemble in the slightest the real thing. And it’s somewhat frightening.
“You don’t have to tell me… I didn’t know you even liked someone in the first place. Really, it’s okay. I thought it was something trivial like trying to survive in this place or a fight with Tae, I don’t know.”
This makes him smile. “No, it’s—it wasn’t an unrequited crush, you know? Only, things happened, and we stopped seeing each other. Turns out it’s difficult to get over him.”
A pause, the tip of his tongue wetting his plump lower lip. “Do we know him? Me and Taehyung, I mean?”
“It’s—complicated. But it’s not a big deal, really.”
“How can you say that? Your feelings are at stake and seeing you hurt haunts me.”
He bites the insides of his mouth, eyes glinting with disbelief. “You really are dumb and dramatic, what the fuck. I’ll get over him, don’t worry.”
He throws a cushion at me, while I stare him, eyes wide and mouth agape because of his reaction, calm and composed. As if it’s really not this big of a deal.
“If you really feel sad, though… buy me a drink. Or two. Or three. Until me suffering stops haunting you.”
The audacity of Park Jimin, ladies and gentlemen.
[15.38] you: okay min
[15.38] you: you were right. i’m horny
[15.40] jimin: what else is new bb. What did he do this time
[15.41] you: bold of you to assume he did anything in the first place. But no. he didn’t do anything
[15.41] you: Beside getting a terrible haircut. I hate it. I kinda wanna punch namjoon in the face for this, and not in the kinky way
[15.43] jimin: Is there a kinky way to punch someone? Maybe you meant spitting in his mouth? On his dick? I’ll stop with these bc I don’t want you to get worked up over my texts
[15.43] you: shut up
[15.43] you: anyway one of his friends passed by. Red hair. Mouth hearth shaped. Adonis body. 10/10 would bang or kiss or hold his hand
[15.43] you: 15/10 would prefer the banging. Anyway, I don’t have a crush on namjoon, I’m just in need of a good dicking
[15.46] jimin: I’m screenshotting this and sending it to taetae
[15.46] you: blocked and reported
[15.46] jimin: you’re my dick deprived friend and I love you. Taetae says he’s not up for dicking you good because he’s in love with a girl that is about to blow him, sorry don’t be mad I don’t make the rules
[15.48] you: what the fuck did I just read
[15.48] jimin: just say you love me and you’ll go out with us tonight. Let’s partayyyy. I’ll help you find someone to go down on you, trust me
[15.49] you: what the fuck did I just read, the reprise
[15.51] jimin: no ok ok ok. Seriously. Go out with us. Me, tae and guk. We made plans a couple of days ago. Come with us. If you’re not up for a hook up you can just loosen up a bit and have fun with us. I promise
[15.52] jimin: please
[15.54] you: I’m in
***
One thing Jungkook doesn’t notice about me straight away is the feeling of uneasiness and worry that creeps up my face.
Jungkook’s curious, mostly alcohol-hazed, look scurries away before meeting my eyes: he checks me out (I wish I didn’t have to say this—but one has to come to terms with this admission after being looked at with dark, hooded eyes for a good five minutes), tilts his head in what I assume it’s his flirting expression, comments on the dark, sometimes transparent dress Taehyung bought me online and clicks his tongue in a mocking way, when said Taehyung hits him with a can of cheap beer and a couple of dirty jokes.
I would like to wrap Taehyung like a burrito with a warm, inviting plaid instead of having him dragging us all in a packed bar, for the simple and yet abhorrent (to him, of course) reason that he’s shit at pregaming. To be completely honest, he’s shit at drinking. Can’t hold his liquor if his life depended on it. Jimin blocks his phone and groans loudly, then proceeds in wrapping his arm around Tae’s waist and escorting him outside our apartment, murmuring a regretful “I’m doing this because I need it, you shithead. Don’t make me regret I came with you.”
I chuckle, amused by the two.
It’s only seconds later that my wrist is playfully grabbed by one clearly upset Jungkook. He blinks, twice, before wetting his chapped lips. I shoot him a questioning look that I hope doesn’t feel like I’m in need to get away from him because I’m being weirded out by his behaviour.
“I didn’t know you were coming with us.” he says, even though it sounds like a realization he wrongly pronounced out loud.
“Am I gonna be a problem for you?”
His doe eyes widen at that, but he’s quick to reassure, voice steadier: “Of course not.” He furrows his eyebrows, “I just meant…” A shrug. “I thought you didn’t do this.”
“What? Hanging out with my friends?”
He’s smiling an empty smile how, lips twisting into a crude exhibit of disorientation, like he doesn’t know how to answer that.
“Right.” He nods, stopping holding my wrist. “A friends’ night out.”
He steals a glance at me, short, devoid of emotion, before grabbing his jacket and following Jimin and Tae.
‘Right?’ I’m not—I’m not interrupting a guys’ night. I am not imposing. I can be pedant and dramatic and clingy to Jimin when drunk (remember the Incident with the former roommates of mine? Or better—don’t. I don’t wanna reminisce those moments. Just acknowledge that Drunk Me can turn into a cuddly, clingy friend) but I’m sure as fuck not imposing. God. I’m not.
As I play with the short cuticles on my middle finger, I gnaw at the inside of my mouth.
It’s funny how I am the one wondering ‘Right?; it’s in moments like this that I want nothing but to shove Jungkook against a plain, stone cold surface and ask him to talk to me. This crumbling show resembles so much the Mina Thing that I am feeling uncomfortable even asking. I thought that having a roommate meant gaining a friend; now I say: maybe. It depends. I guess that sharing a house with someone means you’re bound to come into contact with this other person, and there are times when this connection turns into something deeper, like friendship. Still, it’s not the usual friendship path, so you have to be careful and make sacrifices along the way. Right now, the sacrifice I’m making is taming my – how did Jimin call it, once? Mom-friend attitude?
Tone it down, Y/N.
Especially since I know I am not nurturing the boys into spending time with me and showering me with attention.
I sigh.
The question that fails to be answered is only one…
What’s gotten into Jungkook?
***
“Plan for the night,” Taehyung smirks, hands in his now longer hair, “I’m getting wasted.”
“Very mature,” Jimin snorts.
“You’d be too, if the fuck of your life didn’t call you back.”
“Oh my god,” I groan, “It happened a long time ago. I remember I was still wondering whether asking your roommate to wash up was decent human being behaviour or not.”
“Or not.” Tae blinks, hands in his pockets, “You once told me, too. You were rude.”
“You threw up on me!” Jungkook chuckles. “Besides, it was freshmen’s week.”
Jimin nods. “Banging on freshmen’s week doesn’t count.”
“Especially if that’s a grad student sorry excuse to get wasted.”
“She is a hot grad student, thank you very much.” – Taehyung moves into the crowd stalled at the entrance and points towards the bar – “You’re gonna find me right there until the love of my life comes back.”
“She won’t—”
“Don’t ruin it, shortie.”
The audacity. “Have you ever considered that, perhaps, you weren’t the fuck of her life, instead?”
“Way to hound me, woman.”
Jimin shakes his head and pushes his soulmate out of the way. “Grab me a drink while you’re there.”
“Make it three!” my voice follows him, now definitely swallowed by the crowd.
The place is packed. Tae mentioned the location being renewed over the past week, but I hadn’t given him much thought. (I still remember the ruin pub tour in Budapest, for god’s sake. A tip for the future: never let Taehyung plan your holidays. No matter how much promising his ideas look) and I must admit that I like the new touch.
My gazing the surroundings is hastily interrupted by a now awaiting Jeon Jungkook: he looks at me with an arching eyebrow, his lower lip enveloping his upper one.
“What?”
“Again, what do you want?”
Knowing who pissed in your Cheerios?
“I,” I shrug, “What do you mean?”
“Grab her a Long Island, Guk,” Jimin’s voice cuts in between our bodies, “I take whatever Tae’s having.”
Right. The drink. Of course.
Jungkook disappears before stealing a glance at the both of us, a je ne sais quoi of unsaid still clear between us.
“I hate to ask. You know I do.” Jimin’s fingertips brush against the leather of my jacket. “But… is something off? Between you two?”
The soft indie music that welcomed us when we got in slowly turns into a more upbeat, loud mix of sounds and I spot in Min’s eyes the need to go dancing. I instantly remember that this night it’s for him as much as it is for me.
“No, Min.” I shake my head along to my words, a quick smile on my lips. “You don’t have to worry.”
“Better not, shortie.”
Dancing is a harder activity to excel at, especially when you’re not Jimin nor you haven’t got Taehyung’s confidence, somehow perfectly balanced by his carelessness – he doesn’t give a fuck about judgements and stares and what-not, and this freedom only fuels him. I find myself juggling between being either of them or, well, striving to channel either of them into my limbs and inner self.
It’s all about matter of attitude, in the end.
This matter of personality traits you-can’t-quite-inherit-unless-you’re-the-soulmates-themselves corners me in a delightful position: I’m very close to dancing without restraints in the middle of this place, still placing a decent amount of attention on the music itself and the crowd that has managed to swallow me whole in the past half hour.
I’m exhausted.
Don’t get me wrong—it’s insanely freely to disinhibit myself and let go, every once in a while, but I feel as if there are matters yet to be discussed that stop me from giving one hundred percent myself out on the dancefloor, as Jimin called it.
These disturbing matters present themselves right on my side in the form of one very attentive yet not-so-sober Jeon Jungkook, when I shake my head and decide to buy myself another drink.
His bouncy, fluffy hair is sticking in every unfathomable direction when his gaze crosses mine, and I don’t further inquire his state, despite my expression probably giving my thoughts away. He cocks his head, licking his lips.
“What’s up?”
That definitely sounded like a staggered what’s wrong? Where did I fuck up?
I cross my arms and place them on the mahogany counter, shrugging my shoulders.
“This place is starting to stink.”
“Well,” he mulls, a finger in his freshly formed curls. “I hope you weren’t expecting flowers and, fuck, I don’t know? Soap? Ginger ale?”
“Damn, there you go crashing my hopes and dreams.”
“Jeon Jungkook, professional heartbreaker at your service.”
I scrunch my nose. “Be more creative, c’mon.”
“International playboy?”
“I was thinking more of laundry fairy, though? Or black clothes enthusiast?”
He stares at me with an uncanny expression, blinking twice. He then shakes his head, the tip of his tongue poking out, his hands moving with emphasis in a c’mere, I just wanna talk gesture.
“You take it back,” he says, unable to hold back a laugh, “Take it back now.”
“You’re a fucking menace, is what you are.”
Jungkook chuckles while placing his elbow on my shoulders, enhancing his tall person privileges. “It’s still early, you know,” he mutters after a while, waiting for me to order before talking.
“For what?”
“Jimin said he promised to get you a hook-up,” he explains, eyes on the people still dancing in front of us. His voice is softer when he speaks next, and I find myself unable to look away from his profile even though he’s not even glancing in my direction. “It’s still early, you have all the time in the world.”
Oh.
Funnily enough, I had almost given up on the quest. I just assumed Jimin and I were living knowing the second part of our deal was taking place right around us, ergo us just having fun. Brushing aside the stress of the past few days.
Jungkook thinks I’m here to get laid? For fuck’s sake. My face heats up at just the thought.
“I’m not that desperate, Guk.”
“I know this.” He takes a strand of my hair between his calloused fingers. “I’m just saying… there’s nothing stopping you.”
“Stopping me?”
He’s so close his laugh resonates against my side, his little smile not disappearing from his lips.
“Fishing for compliments, huh?”
He chooses the moment I frown not so delicately to turn around and look at me. “Am not.”
“It’s fine, it’s fine,” he sighs, turning me around and placing an arm around my shoulders. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”
Oh.
How to survive from getting compliments by the one and only Jeon Jungkook, an autobiography by yours truly.
I can vaguely feel my fingers trembling.
“That doesn’t sound very convincing,” I retort, putting up the bravest smile I could muster up. “Try again.”
He hums, closing dangerously the distance between our bodies. I am flushed. Tingling. Burning. His breath is nudging my ear, his fingers playfully tapping my shoulder.
“Let me rephrase this, then,” a pause, “You could get anyone here.”
I follow his stare into the crowd, a bubbly, commercial song now playing. His deep, soft voice continues, “Literally anyone. From that guy on our left that has been staring at you for the past half hour to the girl on your right with the black straw in her mouth.”
As my eyes catch a glimpse of the people he’s mentioned, a vivid, powerful weight drops in my stomach. I swallow, frowning slightly. I just. I just don’t want them. I don’t want random people. I don’t want casual anymore. I’m throwing myself toward a better goal, a blazing direction, an ardent feeling in the pit of my stomach. Something that resembles a stable relationship. Domesticity. Tenderness. Urgency. Passion. The whole package, I can practically hear Jimin shouting. I want…
My mind must love playing tricks on me, because suddenly I’m surrounded by muffled sounds and I can only think: Jungkook. This one right here. This warm body next to mine. This kind soul.
The bubble bursts as rapidly as it had grown around me in the first place.
This Jungkook with a girlfriend. This taken man. This body that is used to warm up another girl’s sheets.
I fight the instinct to cry.
“Not interested in anyone, sorry.”
Jungkook’s tone is crushed when he speaks next, but I don’t care. I don’t even want to know why. It doesn’t even matter. I don’t want to think about it.
“Right.”
I grab the freezing drink with one hand, the other in my hair.
The cold feeling against my skin sends a shiver down my spine and I can’t help but feel as if that’s the only ending I’m getting. The only road I’m supposed to enter—the average one, the ordinary, already paved, already walked on by thousands before me.
The only time I’m thinking seriously about someone it’s—it’s about a taken one. Well played, Y/N. Good fucking job.
“See you at home?”
It wasn’t supposed to be a question, but who cares, right? I’m leaving Jungkook’s periphery before he can even form a decent answer.
Turns out I can channel one of the soulmates, in the end. It’s Jimin. It’s what the purple haired friend always does when his feelings are at stake. When he puts his defences up and plays around like me and Tae can’t fucking see he’s hurt.
I’m making sure feelings can’t get to me.
***
“Y/N? Hey, what’s wrong?”
Yoongi’s alarmed tone is the only clear sound I can properly hear. I giggle uncontrollably, hand covering my mouth.
“Ooops. Wrong number.”
My back slides against the wall, and I sigh as I sit down on the bathroom floor.
I don’t know what prompted me hiding in here.
I don’t—I didn’t think this through. Properly. I’ve never aced hide and seek, as a kid.
“Don’t worry… are you—are you alright?”
I gulp. “Yep. Yup. Positive, sir.” Now I’m hiccupping like someone who can’t hold his liquor. Someone I’m not. Taehyung in his purest form.
“Y/N,” Yoongi’s voice reverberates in my ear, “Have you been drinking?”
God. Why on earth am I on the phone with him?
“I don’t know, you’re the one who called me.” I said that out loud? Oh, shit. I burst into a fit of giggles, once again. This is so embarrassing. “Are you alone? Is Jungkook with you?”
“No, god. No.”
“Is Jimin with you, then?”
“Dunno. Might be outside the women’s bathroom. Might not.”
Have been here for the past twenty minutes, looking far worse than I sound, of course I don’t know. The freezing tiles melt me and my first instinct – my primal reaction to this unexpected, rude cold is staring at the ceiling. Not batting an eye. Throwing my head back on the wall, hoping the goose bumps will fade in seconds. Hoping the childish, irrational tears won’t wet my cheeks.
I hate this state of raw, sick vulnerability. I hate knowing it doesn’t go away with a snap of fingers, with the silent, hushed promise to myself that I’ll do better next time, I’ll take care of myself in such a good way this will only feel like a bad dream. A short-lived nightmare.
“Can you reach him? Please?”
It’s a sequence of blurs, then – getting on my feet, meeting Jimin’s worried eyes, brushing away Taehyung’s confused, warm hand. Jimin nodding, grabbing his jacket, scanning quickly the room. The buzz dissipates around me, numbing me to the point that I don’t recall going home, in the end. Neither Jimin’s precious care nor the quiet sobs that don’t stop.
Nothing but an unexpected text, bright and deadly, blurred with tears for me and myself only.
[01.26] jungkook: staying at mina’s tonight.
EXHIBIT E
Step fifteen: when in doubt, ask for a rematch. Challenge your opponent. Scoot closer. Drop the formalities. Let that stake be higher.
I’ve been through worse.
I’ve literally shoved my fingers down Jimin’s throat so he could throw up. I’ve studied the wrong assignment more than once. Once, I only ate birthday cakes for a week. Emphasis on cakes.
Harbouring silly, illogical crushes for someone doesn’t even make the top ten list. When you’ve known Taehyung and Jimin for longer than five years, you know it doesn’t even make the top twenty stupid things you regret doing in your life chart.
That’s why it doesn’t matter—okay, Jungkook looks good wearing black. Passing his hand through his messy locks, therefore showing his forehead. Making eye contact when he talks (that has lately turned into a reason why I’ve been blushing more around him, for Christ’s sake).
So what? It happens. It happens when people are cute. And smart. And funny.
“Morning,” Jungkook mumbles, voice drowsy and thick with sleep.
I’m thrown away by his appearance, which can only confirm the fact that he didn’t spend the night here, at home, his bedroom next to mine. He’s slouched on the couch, eyes still closed, his thick eyelashes catching my attention.
I try not to focus on the feeling in my belly, a weight in the pit of my stomach that dropped when I got his text last night and hasn’t disappeared ever since. He’s got a girlfriend and I have no right whatsoever to feel saddened by this crucial statement. Honestly, a part of me feels guilty because it’s nothing I didn’t know before yesterday. Does it make me mad, knowing that his girlfriend has been away from him for so long? That, while he pushed her away because he needed space, feelings for him started spurring in my stomach and mind and every limb of mine? Yes. Yes, ten thousand times yes. But—what can I do about them? I’m so used to dealing with feelings on my own – how many crushes did I suppress because my feelings were unrequited? I lost count – that it shouldn’t even surprise me. Yet here I am, yet here my last shred of hope flees away. I’m delusional. I’d laugh, out loud, dry, not at all sympathetic if only Jungkook wasn’t here.
As I bit the insides of my mouth, I can only hum in response, not gathering the strength to form a proper greeting.
“Tired?”, Jungkook asks as he starts playing with the rings on his fingers. I turn around, facing the kitchen counter and the mug I’ve just grabbed.
Tired doesn’t even begin describing what the fuck I’m feeling.
“Yeah.”
It’s all I can muster up.
“Mhm.”
I can hear a vague shuffling of clothes – he must be standing up, stretching his limbs, suppressing a groan. Only a glance. I spare only a glance at his tired figure that disappears from my periphery.
That’s how Jungkook retreats in his room.
I never hated Saturday mornings as much as I do now.
***
Maybe that was an idiotic hyperbole. Because, my internal voice almost stutters, this is what sucks. This is what I hate: a whole week (a whole ten days) without Jungkook. Scratch that. A whole ten days with Jungkook in it and my usual Jungkook missing from my life altogether.
He scraps his neck, doesn’t meet my eyes, doesn’t stay in the same room as me anymore. Which is understandable. I’m a rational human being, not at all baffled by emotions of any kind, of course, so I get it. An inclination of sorts erupted between us during that night out and it unequivocally brought to surface my limits (read: my feelings) and his desire to stray as further as possible away from me. I get that. I would have flirted with him and said things to him if the girlfriend package didn’t cross my mind. I have feelings and a deep, vivid imagination to support said to-be-neglected feelings and Jungkook must have sensed that. Must have had an epiphany somewhere in between this horrific, awkward week without me.
Makes sense! It’s alright! I can manage without him.
It’s the only right turn of things, after all.
As I hold the key in my hand and open the apartment’s door with a sigh, the stillness of the living room hits me at once. I don’t know whether blaming the shredded, dying light of the day breezing past the sunblinds or the overbearing tidiness of the stuff in the room. Just a glance towards the awfully tidy space, crammed with magazines precisely positioned on the coffee table, the couch, unused for days, taking up too much space, and the TV turned off since the beginning of the week… makes my stomach drop.
I’m suddenly burned out, feeling the weight of a never-ending week of work and innumerable talks with my mind crashing on me and trapping my chest. I let out a drawn out, exhausted breath, feeling for the first time in a long time like a guest just waiting to go back home.
A black mop of hair distracts me from this dying scenery, and I meet for the first time in too many days Jungkook’s big, doe eyes.
“Hi,” he puffs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Hungry?”
He’s standing with his fingers interlaced and a white tee too big for his figure that’s swallowing him fully. I can’t help but steal a glance at his bouncy, almost curly hair that look so, so incredibly soft at the touch.
“No,” I shake my head, voice low, already taking a step forward my room. “I’ve got a huge load of paperwork to do before tomorrow.”
He nods, and my heart breaks just a little because having dinner together was a thing I got used to too fast for my liking. There was something about his jokes and disparate comments on whatever show we were binging. Or about the soft chuckles he let out, the way he relaxed against the couch and, when it became too late, made sure to wake me up with that husky voice of his when I fell asleep on my end of the couch.
Upper lip between my tooth, I decide against standing like a fool in front of him when he made it extremely clear, in the past ten days, that doesn’t really want me around. Which is—hurting me, but I guess there are things I can’t control in life. One of them being his friend, right now.
As I retreat in my room, I feel so terribly stupid, without any doubt crushing once again on the wrong person.
***
Thursday morning finds me padding softly through my room, reaching the kitchen with my eyes half closed and hair purposely sticking in multiple directions to make me look like a mess in front of my roommate, because, of course. Jungkook’s in the kitchen.
It feels like a nightmare. One where I’m supposed to bump into Jungkook in the worst of times, looking desperate while he’s the very definition of boyfriend material. And I’m internally screaming. And dying, of fucking course.
He’s on the phone, humming at his interlocutor while tracing patterns on his thigh, his little dimple on full display.
“Hyung, no—”
He groans, and I can’t help but chuckle softly at the scene, his dark locks in his eyes. “I don’t know if… I mean, I hope we can make it…”
Jungkook turns fully around and faces me, his mouth agape and eyes wide, still able to melt me into a puddle of softness and quick heartbeats. I stare back like a stupid, crushing human being while I flush and he mouths a silent “morning” that steals a smile from me, anyway.
I can practically hear Jimin whispering whipped on repeat in my head and the implication alone makes my heart flutter.
(Maybe so, Park)
He stays like that in front of me, not moving, not even an inch, focusing his morbid eyes into my messy hair and brushing gently the tangles out. I freeze, unable to do something that’s not burning under his caring touch and pretending I’m not about to reveal my deep, inexcusable, unrequited crush to him.
I’m guilty once again—observing for a fraction of a second his lips, soft because of the melon lipbalm he insists on buying and when I look up, his eyes, ablaze, lock on mine and I believe there’s something resembling a flicker in them—a fervent flame shattering its surroundings.
“I’ll call you back, hyung. Yeah, yes, I know.”
As he places his phone down, he rasps, “Yoongi hyung is back. Just… just for a few days, though.” He hesitates, eyes still fixated on my bed head. “He invited me to his friends’ night out. Invited us, I mean. It’s nothing more than him pretending to be annoyed by us and being a good hyung, nonetheless. You know,” he furrows his eyebrows, “He’ll tell us we can’t hold our liquor then will buy us drinks and food. He’s gonna watch us eating like we’ve never had that much food in our lives and smile like an idiot at us bickering. It’s always the same with him. So,” he shrugs, his eyes darting to find mine, a bit insecure, “Are you free tonight?”
I blame the whole boyfriend attire. The softness of his request, the gentleness of his touch, his big eyes, my deep desire to feel a part of his life once again. Just for a night. Like the old times. Like we’d never put these barriers in between us. I want it so bad, even if it’s just for delusional fractions of a single, ordinary day.
“Yeah,” I whisper back, barely nodding, “Yeah, I’m in.”
EXHIBIT F(ucking finally, kid)
“Okay, so, you’re being paid for doing something you love?” Taehyung look absolutely gobsmacked by the idea that in this alternate universe there’s someone being paid for that exactly. “Hyung, it seems fake. Are you sure you’re being paid? Like, have you actually checked your bank account? Counted the money? Got that bread?”
“Oh my god,” Jimin whispers to himself, grabbing Taehyung’s hand and shoving him back. “You can’t ask people that, Tae.”
The soulmates glance at each-other, and Yoongi exhales a soft chuckle. “Yeah, I did. Had to buy Jin-hyung a Yankee candle as a thanks for the airport ride.” He looks at the eldest now, a frown and a pout adorning his face, “That shit costs a fucking fortune, though.”
“Not my fault my nose is delicate. I’m allergic to most things, you should know by now.”
“Most things?” Jungkook asks, confused. “I only knew of pollen?”
“Cheapness, kid. The acrid smell of an Ikea fruity candle. Yoongi’s crappy softener.”
Yoongi quite literally stabs Seokjin with his icy stare. “When did you smell my softener?”
“It’s lavender,” Jimin nods, solemnly. “It’s not bad.”
Before I can ask wait, how the fuck did you know that?, Yoongi shakes his head and comments on something twenty-one years old Seokjin did, once upon a time, that earns him a pout and a high-pitched reply by the eldest. I’d focus on how close the two – Jimin and Yoongi, of course - are, sitting with their shoulders almost brushing and thighs just inches separated, but I decide against it when I notice the way Yoongi smiles – all gums, all eyes turned into crescents – when Jimin throws his head back and laughs openly, clasping his hands together.
Oh, my mind offers, and I bite back a smile.
When Jungkook had told me about this night out, I didn’t imagine this scenario. This well outlined scenario with the bright cameo of Jimin and Taehyung, also known by anyone but me, thank you very much, as Yoongi’s friends. Or, well – acquaintances. At least on Tae and Yoongi’s part.
I fill my glass with water, eyeing the close two – Yoongi and Jimin – with sharp eyes, enjoying the calm aesthetic of this place, promptly suggested by a very euphoric Seokjin. (“It’s my brother’s restaurant,” he had explained, pride in his eyes, “I’m almost offended to hear you didn’t give it a try yet, but I’ll forgive you because you’ve put up with Jungkook for longer than I expected you to.” He smiled a proud, dad smile, all soft and bright, and before I could ask him to explain what he meant – or tilting questioningly my head, Jungkook had complained, loudly, a whine on his easy pout, “I’m hungry. Can we go in?”)
Turns out that we, yes, can go in, but, to Jungkook’s great dismay, we’re waiting for the last two friends to arrive. Jungkook has gone quiet beside me, his rings-filled fingers tapping a melody only he knows on the edge of table. I eye him for a second – a second that turns into two or three, definitely intrusive, because he snaps out of his hazed state and looks back, orbs all inquiring and able to make me burn under his scrutiny.
“I thought you’d be moping by now,” Seokjin begins, pointing his chin at Jungkook, a hand on the back of his neck. “You know, about…”
“His sorry relationship?”
Seokjin sneers at Yoongi’s remark. “More about that… all of that ended.”
“It ended a long time ago, though.” My roommate replies, while it’s my turn to become quiet and process the words I’m hearing. Does this mean what I think it means?
I swallow.
“Hyung,” Guk says, his voice barely louder than a whisper, “You know it had to be done. Wasn’t fair for either of us. Hasn’t been for god knows how long.”
“Wait,” Taehyung snaps, the bestest of friends, “You broke up?”
“No, wait,” Jimin says, a hand covering Taehyung’s, frozen in mid-air, “You were dating?”
Seokjin snorts, then shakes his head and goes for the first alcohol bottle on the table. Mood. Fucking mood. I’d grab that bottle or snatch it from his hands myself if I weren’t completely in a desperate, freaking out mode. My mind’s running towards ends and assumptions I don’t even want to hear, for my own sake, while my heartbeat is too fast paced for a chill, night out with friends. Friends only.
Oh, god. I wish Jungkook wasn’t smart and quick-witted. I’m so hoping he doesn’t connect the dots. I don’t want him to pick up the pieces and end the whole puzzle, so that he sees beyond the longing gazes and words and touches—or lack thereof and… gets it. Gets that my crush is insurmountable. And that it broadens itself like oil, dense and clear and unavoidable.
“Fuck off,” Jungkook smiles, then shakes his head as if to shrug off his shoulders this whole conversation. “You’re both being rude.”
“Hey, I’m not!” Tae replies curtly, “I just wanted to know if I can finally tell you how idiotic our last conversations have been! You know, all those ‘hyung, I need an advice’, ‘what if she—'”
“Shut up.”
“Okay, so what about the hideous ‘I jerked off to—'’
“For fuck’s sake.”
A napkin has been thrown in Tae’s direction.
“Nice touch” I say, because I’m an idiot that only points out the most useless thing out of this whole thing – fucking hell, this gigantic conversation slash vase of Pandora.
“Glad to know Jungkook’s still a brat,” a loud, chirpy voice to our left says. Remember when I said I didn’t picture the scenario like this? Well, scratch that. It turns out I didn’t picture the scenario at all if I’m being graced with Namjoon and Red hair. Mouth hearth shaped. Adonis body. 10/10 would bang or kiss or hold his hand himself. Oh my god.
What fucked up scenario is this?
What drama am I on?
“What the fuck.” That’s Namjoon’s greeting. I would snarl, but that would ruin my shocked expression. “What the fuck.” He repeats, blinking.
My boss, y’all.
What fine elegance. What charming behaviour. What snarky attitude. You wouldn’t believe that he is an editor, writer wannabe with that cool lexicon of his. His gentle manners, his perfect choice of words.
“Y/N? Why are you here?”
“Wait,” 10/10 would bang or kiss or hold his hand says, pointing fingers and retreating them soon after that, adjusting his shirt’s buttons. “Do we know you?”
“Kind of,” I say, offering a hand to him in greeting. “I’m Y/N.”
“Jungkook’s roommate? Wait—” 10/10 pauses, eyes wide, “Namjoon’s terrible intern?”
“I’m not that terrible, c’mon—”
“—you’re Namjoon?” Jimin almost shrieks, while 10/10, in the same, terrified tone asks: “Namjoon’s terrible intern is Jungkook’s roommate?”
As Jungkook casually throws his arm around my shoulders – most specifically, on the edge of my seat, I think, flushed, crushing, that this is the story of how I meet best friends Namjoon and Hoseok, number one Yoonmin stans, lukewarm coffee enthusiasts, great friends of Jungkook.
(He’d whisper to me, half an hour later, voice husky, “I didn’t know my Namjoon was your Namjoon.”
Then, Jimin would squeal, muttering to himself, “That Namjoon?”, ignoring Yoongi’s curious stare.)
***
Jungkook has broken up with his girlfriend.
Which means that he’s, now, single. Girlfriend-less. No girlfriend package. When I think of him, from now on, I’ll only be picturing a single, tall, package. Handsome, clearly. Good. Warm. All smiling and friendly. Caring.
“Have I seen you somewhere else, though?” Hoseok asks, eyebrow furrowed, while Jungkook stops eating and joins him in a collective scrutiny directed to me. This Jungkook is… just him. No relationships involved. No girlfriend. No love interests. No love interest?
It’s seconds later that I realize I didn’t answer Hoseok’s question, so I shrug my shoulders. “Work, maybe?”
My feeble, yet vivid and convincing hope has to die down. Because… Because what gives me the right to think he’ll want to jump off into another relationship? What makes me think he’ll like me? He’ll want a relationship with me?
Taehyung snaps his fingers right in front of Jimin’s face. “Screenshoot guy? 10/10?”
This is insane. I can’t believe I risked thinking I could make a move. Me, a shy coward. I can’t even fathom into thoughts – into words – the desire to laugh out loud at myself that I feel.
Idiotic. Truly idiotic.
“Yeah, Sherlock,” Jimin says, mocking, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips, “Took you long enough.”
I send him back a tentative smile, that earns Hoseok’s genuine confused expression. Then I sigh, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, not noticing a pair of eyes following my actions. Not until he scoops closer and props his elbow on the edge of my seat, eyes covered with worry.
“You okay?”
It’s in these moments that I find myself wondering– what if I’m just imagining things? Just projecting? Just putting myself in the worst possible, imaginable scenario?
What if there’s more behind Jungkook’s care?
Right in front of me there are his soft lips, stuck in a pout, and I urge myself to lift up my gaze and meet his comforting eyes. “Yeah,” I nod, “Yeah.”
Jungkook’s hand then meets the back of my neck, brushing against it with a gentleness so sudden it almost makes me tear up. “Okay,” he murmurs, voice a tad louder than a hushed whisper.
The burden of my worries, as well as the unbearable weight of my thoughts, flutter away like a wave with his tiny, barely noticeable gesture and I find myself burning with affection for this soft, quiet boy.
***
“You’re drunk”
“I’m hardly drunk. I’ve sobered up,” sounding almost offended, he raises his hands on either side of his head, as if he was proving his innocence, “Would a drunk guy be able to sing a song of your choice without fucking up? Just say the name, I’ll prove it to you.”
(The chill, quiet night around us reminds me once again that right now it’s only the two of us. We said goodbye to the other guys ten minutes ago, each of us going in a different direction – ours is towards Jungkook’s car – and… I can’t help but recall Jimin’s fingers brushing Yoongi’s slender ones, crooked and willing to wrap around the younger ones. My heart. My poor heart is bursting with hope and fondness.)
Jungkook leans closer, eyes fixated on my face, causing heat to colour my cheeks. He doesn’t seem fazed by my lack of answer. My gaze moves from his exposed collarbones up to his doe eyes, eventually meeting his comforting but never questioning stare. He’s here, quiet, his presence never imposing, yet dominant.
He comes impossibly closer, chest brushing mine, a tentative hand gently caressing my jaw. I suck in a breath. His presence is numbing; the mere tracing patterns on the juncture between my face and neck is—is overwhelming. Too much.
I flush, inevitably, head ducking.
“Eyes on me,” he blinks, voice lower. “I want to…” his voice falters, just as a short circuit takes over my whole brain: his intoxicating closeness, his eyes on my lips… God.
Terribly close, yet so, so—
He doesn’t even see me exhale, nor wet my lips—my mouth meets his before my thoughts start making sense. Jungkook shudders at my lips pressing against his, gasping, mouth parting.
He presses his mouth harder on mine, flushing his body against my own, his slender fingers at the nape of my neck.
God.
I pull him closer, so tight I let out a whine that allows him to explore my mouth, tongue demanding, hands clutching at either side of my neck.
Moaning drives him mad, makes the kiss hungrier and more urgent and I’m suddenly gasping for air, tugging at the end of his hair, pulling him to me.
This riles him up—one hand strokes my cheek, gently, as opposed to the licking of his tongue, definitely different from the digging of his fingers at the small of my back.
He draws out his name from my mouth so gently that, for a moment, I think I didn’t speak at all.
“I want you,” he mutters, eyes shut and mouth indefinitely close to mine. “Want you so bad”
“Car,” he kisses me again, “your car, Guk.”
The next actions are a blurred mess (his hand finding mine, our fingers intertwined, my body pushed between the door of his car and Jungkook’s toned torso) but also have me collapsing against Jungkook, his heat pressed against mine.
God.
“Fuck,” he takes a breath, “you’re gorgeous.”
His hands tentatively roam on my hips, descend onto my thighs, grip them, all of this while I lose myself again in his kisses.
“Shit, baby”
Jungkook’s patience runs out when he feels my pebbled nipples against his chest, because he tugs at the end of my thin sweater, then kisses me harder, and I feel him everywhere, when he grips my ass, when he grinds himself against my center, drawing a long moan out of me.
Jungkook is intoxicating.
He draws my breath right out of my lungs, fingers teasing, grinding once again against me.
“Jungkook, fuck”
I whimper, he chuckles. The glorious, idiotic kisser trails pecks all over my neck, sucking on a sweet spot beside my ear.
“Guk, please…”
I don’t know what I’m whining for, but it’s enough for him to smile and close the distance between our mouths once again, savouring me slowly, in a wet, calculated kiss.
Just as my pulsating heat meets his in another tentative grind, Jungkook’s phone brightens the calm darkness of the car.
Oh.
He takes it out, swearing.
I wish I was groaning for other reasons. Sweet, good reasons. Like Jungkook pushing my legs apart, settling between them, lowering to—
“What the fuck do you want, Tae?”
As I listen to my best friend’s voice through the phone, I push myself off Jungkook’s warm body, sliding onto the passenger’s seat, legs crossed.
God.
He looks at me with a questioning look, eyebrows furrowed, and face flushed. His lips are wet from the ministration of my hungry kisses and I instinctively bite mine.
Don’t think about Jungkook’s eating you out, don’t think about Jungkook’s eating you—
“No, we were–we were going home. Yeah, that can do. Don’t worry, give us a minute”
He sighs loudly when the call ends, throwing his head back.
The sight’s almost comical.
“I swear, I didn’t mean to answer. It’s just–the phone was vibrating against my dick and you, too, were very close to my dick and I- “
I interrupt him with a kiss. He melts into it instantly.
“One more,” he hums, “before turning up the engine? Please?”
I erupt into a quiet laugh, obliging.
(What am I gonna do, say no?)
“In case it wasn’t clear,” he rasps, eyes on the road to pick Tae up as he has probably now realised he’d been left all alone without a ride back, “I like you. Have been since managed to eat half a cake in a sitting. Or since you fell asleep on me while watching Princess Mononoke. Which, incidentally, I don’t condone.”
I hold in my breath. “Yeah?”
He waits, then offers his palm to me, “Yeah.”
I intertwine our fingers.
It’s all quiet. It’s all silent. Yet, all warm. A graceful wordless full minute that warms my heart and makes me think this is not real. This is not possible. I think, my mind says, hazed, replaying Jungkook’s kiss once or twice or thrice, this is not really happening.
Oh god. I point with my chin at the next stop. “Pull out for a minute. Just a minute.”
“Something’s wrong?”
When he does, I feel my body aching for him, alive, burning. I can’t believe this. I brush my lips against his, all swollen and tasting, despite everything, still like melon. “In case it wasn’t clear,” I say, softly, “I like you.”
“Yeah?”
I pull back. His nose is touching mine, our foreheads brushing. Jungkook chases me, cupping my cheek with his hand, tracing circles, and letting his tongue delve into my mouth.
“We gotta pick Tae up.”
“Right,” he says, not moving an inch, “Right.”
“I’m gonna trade picking up my best friend for a kiss. Or two.”
“Cockblocker,” Jungkook replies, nodding, “But deal. Wait, no. A kiss. Or two. Hundreds, of course. Along with making out in the car.”
“I’m always free to try your car with you, if I know what you mean, right?”
Jungkook groans. “Let me live.”
“Of course.” A kiss. “My best friend’s waiting.”
“You asked me to pull out.”
“You kissed me back.”
“Of fucking course, do I look dumb to you?”
((“I’m moving out”
These are the first words Jungkook hears on a fatal Thursday morning, hands holding onto the kitchen counter.
A mixed feeling paints his expression.
“I know we haven’t talked about this, but I think we both know that it’s the right thing to do,” I add, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, “I can’t stay here anymore.”
“So, you’re moving out. Definitely,” he ruffs his own hair, voice steady and low, his typical morning voice. Even though it seems like he’d like to add more — start asking questions, clear any doubt — I interrupt him, trying to sound as firm as possible.
“Absolutely,” then he nods, slowly, “I’m moving out.”
“Thank god,” he murmurs, hands already cupping my face, “For all the sex we’ll be having.”
“Jungkook!”
“Think about the bed,” he says, smiling like the attractive idiot he is, “The couch. Because you’re getting a couch. Think about all the places Taehyung can’t reach. Baby.”
“Jerk,” I say, kissing him lightly on the mouth.
“I’m celebrating for you, you ungrateful, amazing ass. Think about how easy blowing me will be.”
“Oh my god.”
“Think about how easy it’ll be for me to eat you out.”
I throw my hands around his neck.
“Not complaining anymore, huh?”
“Ass.”
“You love me.”
“That I do, baby.”
That I do.))
#jungkook#bts#bts fluff#bts fanfic#bts fanficiton#bts fake texts#bts jungkook#jungkook scenario#jungkook imagine#jungkook fanfic#jungkook fluff#bts x reader#jungkook x reader#bts imagine#bts imagines#bts scenarios#bts scenario
961 notes
·
View notes
Note
I just saw your tags on the "harry was oppressed" post. Might elaborate on that when you are not tired? How Zayn was oppressed? His relationship to ot4. Other celebrities? I love your thoughts!
*cracks knuckles* buckle your seat belts folks we’re in for a wild ride here lmao.
also for context *here* is the post this anon is referring to
I think to start off i should just make a little disclaimer, everything i am going to discuss will be based in my biases probably seeing as I am also a brown British Pakistani person who is Muslim. Zayn has been someone that especially when i was younger I looked up to and was very essential in my journey of learning to love and accept myself and my culture tbh. It’s cheesy as hell but it’s true and i think this is important to know before I go into this more because like I said i am definitely biased towards him. Another thing is that I’m just going to be discussing my personal opinions and also my memory is not very good so i will probably miss out a lot of other things that happened/could be discussed. please dont take this as anything more than just. my opinion.
A thing that really opened my eyes to racism and especially the racism in the 1d fandom was the day that zayn left. I dont think thats what the post above was about btw and ill go into that but i kind of just want to talk about this. The day he left was. a severe mess. Not only because it was obviously upsetting but because of all the bs that people were spouting about a situation that absolutely no one had any context on. the statement that was released on facebook gave us nothing. literally just stated that zayn was leaving the band and the accusations and hatred people were directing towards zayn when we didnt know what actually fucking happened (and still dont might i add) was disgusting. people accusing him of being selfish and how they hated him and why he had to ruin everything. Accusing him of using mental illness as an excuse and lying about it and so much more. i had unfollow more than half of the people i followed that day. it really opened my eyes to the fact that these were all thoughts and opinions people had underneath it all and zayn was fine as long as he was part of 1d and giving people what they wanted. which was essentially being the token in the group and once he wasnt providing that anymore? people turned and people turned fast.
i think its also important to point out the flip side of it and that was zayn stans saying that 1d were nothing without 1d etc. i want to talk about why this was different from ot4 stans hating zayn. of course it wasnt nice to see or hear EVERYONE arguing with each other. i hated it so much. but i think what people failed to realise was that when it comes to situations like this you need to look deeper and think about all the nuances of the situation. zayn stans being happy about zayn leaving the band and saying 1d was going to die i did not agree with. anyone who knew me then and knows me now knows that i am a 1d stan regardless (preferably ot5 but i supported 1d until the end even as a 4some) BUT these opinions were rooted in his mistreatment in the band and the racism he was having to face as a result of being in the band etc etc i apologise for not being a person who can better describe and explain this situation but hopefully you are getting the picture. when fans were hating on zayn. with no context with nothing. that was based on racism. point blank. the amount of tweets FROM 1D FANS talking about how he was leaving to join isis and how upset fans were gonna be vulnerable and join etc etc all this deplorable bs. and he had to deal with comments like that throughout his whole time with one direction and i imagine even now.
Another thing id like to talk about is who zayn stans at least from my point of view usually were. For me i remember when i first got into the fandom i actively made the decision that i didnt want zayn to be my favourite because i didnt want to be a stereotype and this was a point in my life when i still tried to shun and push my culture down because i was ashamed of it. it was only as i slowly saw that zayn was considered as cool and hot and everyone else liked him that i kind of understood that maybe. being brown was alright and it was something cool and that maybe i was cool. it sounds fucked up and honestly i dont even know if i want to be admitting this so adamantly but argh if it helps someone understand then maybe its worth it. (mortifying ordeal of being known eh?) anyways i noticed as i engaged more in fandom and looked for more diversity, more fans like me, majority of non white fans were also... zayn stans. and honestly it makes sense because we all tended to flock towards the closest diversity we could find it seems. im not saying that there werent white zayn stans and that the other boys didnt have non white stans but i just wanted to point out this trend. so when you also take this into account and the fact that on the day zayn left it was majorly... white stans who were criticizing zayn it puts it in perspective for you. majority of fans who still like and support zayn are also not white.
there is a lot more to do with fans but hopefully thats enough of an insight and you can understand the kind of vibes that were present during 1ds prime and what not only zayn had to go through but also as a result the racism we ended up having to deal with as well tbh.
now!!!... something i dont really like talking about lol so this will probably be short but the other boys. so as far as i can remember liams always been kind to zayn since hes left (no surprise there <3 also please correct me if im wrong), niall was kind of indifferent/didnt say anything really, and then there was louis and harry *awkward smile*. hahaha. from my memory i remember when asked about what the most difficult thing was about zayn leaving harry said ‘the paperwork’ which was *awkward smile* and he also kicked that monkey mask/pinata? i cant remember with naughty boys face on it and honestly im sure theres more but his overall reaction to zayn leaving was kind of not caring and maybe being slightly nasty which :) with louis there was the massive twitter fight which literally tears my soul in half so lets not go into that haha and honestly other things where it maybe seemed like he was upset with zayn leaving as well. honestly i am a bit in two minds about these reactions because at the end of the day we dont know what occurred behind the scenes and we probably never will as much as we can speculate or whatever. not to mention that this 10th anniversary it seems maybe everyones on good terms which, who knows really im going to try be optimistic. i think whats important to note about heir reactions is that we dont know anything about their situations but the problem was really how fans reacted tbh (btw i forgot to mention earlier this is about basically everything except for harry and the nb thing. that is inexcusable). the boys reactions were understandable but the problem is that fans of course vicariously are influenced by the boy they stan so when one of them acted a certain way of course that ended up reflecting in fandom and resulted in more racism etc.
another thing with zayn was that there were many files leaked with like promo or whatever basically describing what kind of role the boys would take on/ their image etc. and of course all the other boys got things like bubbly/funny/charming etc and zayns descriptors? moody, mysterious, dark horse etc etc like from the inception of 1d zayn has been victim to racist stereotypes being pushed on him. and i think this is where harry comes in because of course the image pushed onto him was also extremely harmful and i definitely dont think we should not talk about that but often you'll see that... thats all that is talked about because people are uncomfortable admitting racism and talking about it.
When i mentioned other celebrities my point was basically just that while ive only talked about zayn in one direction this... is so present among any and every fandom. 5sos, Little Mix, Fifth Harmony... any fandom you can think of, i promise you it is there. racism in fandom is a real thing and a big problem and honestly this is why i always say representation is so important. and when i say that i mean everywhere!!! because if I didnt seek out non white fans to follow then maybe i would’ve had a completely different perspective on all of this.
The thing is also that a lot of this is just stuff that we’ve been able to get our hands on and also fan analysis and theories etc. there is probably so much more to talk bout or go into or stuff we’ll never even know about. I’ve kind of had to make peace with the fact that with celebrities you just really don’t actually know anything about them.
I think i’ll end this here if there’s any more questions you have about anything feel free to ask! and again this is all just my opinion but hopefully i’ve been able to help answer you <3 have a nice day and i hope youre hydrated!!!
#ask#anon#1d#zayn#long post#i also have links to posts for proof of how zayn was treated on the last day if youd like but i thought id simplify#and just talk about what i though#there really is so much more that can be said
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
i preplanned those tunnel tweets + made a list of specifically what pictures i wanted and finished making the worms earlier this morning so like i wasnt Winging It at all but it sure felt like it! bc weve only ever gone to the tunnels as a group before, but today the only time i could go was in the 25 minutes before my evening class and no one else was free then so i was like whatever ill just go get my pictures and then to class and it’s fine. so i put my little sandwich baggie full of worms in my pocket and went over to the machinery building, which is where the tunnel entrance is, but the entrance is in the basement and there’s two ways to get into the basement both of which are almost always locked so i was like well i’ll just check and see if either of them are open. and it turned out the freight elevator was allowing trips to the basement so i got in and went down
the freight elevator spits you out in like this really cluttered and fucked-up looking storage basement basically which is where the tunnel entrance is and while the tunnel is dark the basement itself is usually lit by these shitty fluorescents HOWEVER! today when the elevator doors opened it was absolutely completely dark in the entire enormous basement. but at that point i was like i made it over here, i have my worms, i have my photo list, i have time before class, and what are the odds the elevator will be working again, ill just use my flashlight who cares. so i turned my flashlight on and started picking my way through to the tunnel entrance, except i stopped and made a detour to take pics in that little office room because i thought it would sorta look like the room where they found gertrude’s body and i could make a fun joke about it ANYWAY as i’m coming out of the office room i notice that the stairway door directly across from me is open, which is weird because they’re Never open because they don’t want us to go down there. so i was like, shit, maintenance and/or security are down here and my only way out is the super obvious elevator so ill just wait them out so i like turned my flashlight off and crouched behind a bunch of shit
anyway i just sort of huddled in the dark for a while and soon enough it became clear that no one was actually coming so i took advantage of my proximity to the ground to scatter some worms and take that first worm pic where im pointing. and then i was like okay, might as well get the tunnel bit over with. so the area of the basement where the mouth of the tunnel is is closed off with this big metal fence and there’s like a wire-mesh on the front with a huge padlock only years and years of horrible college students have managed to sort of beat the bottom half of the gate a few inches outwards + compromise its integrity enough that its easy to pull far enough open for someone else to slip through. however my problems today were 1) like i said ive only ever gone with a group before, meaning i’d always had someone to hold the gate open for me, and i had never attempted to get through without assistance before let alone back out and 2) the gate is RIGHT next to the stairs that i mentioned earlier were open when they usually never are. so i stood there for a minute like... okay, say i DO try to get through myself, and i get stuck. OR, say that happens and THEN whoever was working down here comes back and im stuck so i get caught and in trouble.
and then i was like actually fuck it we ball so i like. sort of just got down fully on the ground (which was gross btw do not recommend) and like rolled and twisted and pushed myself around until i wiggled through. that was the moment when i sort of started to accept just how much tunnel dirt i was gonna be covered in by the end but it was so far past too late to back out so i headed into the tunnel entrance. it gets TRULY dark like really really soon after you walk in also like i thought the basement outside was dark because the lights were off but the tunnels are like.... DARK. anyway i stopped halfway down the entry tunnel to try and set up the like “worm door outline” thing from after MAG39 and like initially i had thought that i could figure out an okay way to at least temporarily get them on the wall bc theyre made of latex and super light but it was quickly apparent that that would not be the case so i found a patch of the floor that looked smooth enough to be a wall and set it up on there instead. so i’m like. squatting on the floor in this very dark and kind of gross tunnel, and i have my phone laying on the ground next to me flashlight-side-up so i can see as well as use both hands to dig cold little latex worms out of a sandwich baggie and arrange them in a pattern on the ground and the flashlight was lighting up the tunnel in the most fucked up way and it was dead silent and the WHOLE time i was like, and this is the moment when like a maintenance worker turns the corner and finds me and is just like, hello??? theres some clown playing with worms in the tunnel????
anyway that did not happen and instead i got my little doorway set up and then it was time to take the first pic (of the worm door by itself without me in it) which was when i realized that when i open my camera app my phone forcibly turns the flashlight off so every time i wanted to take a picture in the tunnels i was gonna have to turn my light off and just like chill alone in the pitch dark in a tiny tunnel for however long it took me to take each photo and i was like hm okay wig i guess so i took the door pic and then it took me like four tries to get myself positioned right for the cringe ass fail worms one because, surprisingly, it is difficult to position yourself directly in the center of an archway of worms that you cannot see, and while i was doing all those failed tries i got to spend a lot of time laying splayed out on my back in the dark on the tunnel floor anyway i got it finally so i just sort of kicked the worms to the sides and kept going in further. to get to the pit you have to turn left at the first fork and then take a right and then theres this weird like step? thing? in the middle of the tunnel and if youre me you have to do a super awkward crabwalk limbo step thing to get over it because the pipes on the ceiling above it are hot and the step comes up to like 6 inches below the pipe but also i dont like to touch the top of the step because its gross. so its always a production. this time i think they had worked on that pipe recently or something because it was leaking so the step was wet and the pipe dripped hot water onto my neck while i was crawling under it LMAO
anyway from there its a straight shot and it opens out into this like larger room near the entrance to the engine room and the pit is right at the edge of where the dirt of the tunnel turns into the concrete of the room floor. and theyve like half-covered the top of it in wooden planks but theyre not held down so when you have to step on them just for a second to get out of the tunnel its so nervewracking. theres overhead lights in that room though so that was nice idk if i couldve managed the flashlight-camera-transition in the dark AND one-handed. so i took my from-above tunnel pic and then i was like (checks my photos list) “well...... i did say id get two from inside the pit.” i had actually never been in the pit before because the other two times i’ve gone to the tunnels i’ve been with other people and they would barely even let me get near it let alone get on the ladder. so i was like well i guess there is a first time for everything so i put my phone in my back pocket and ducked under the little yellow chain they have up and started going down the ladder and i got like 8? maybe 10? feet down before i thought to look down again and let me just say..... all the times we had looked into that pit from above we had never guessed anywhere CLOSE to how deep it actually was. thats all. so i was like.... um i was expecting to be able to like, stand on solid ground while i take this pit selfie, but that was clearly not going to be an option, but also i had committed this far already to getting these pics from the pit so i was like ugh i guess and hooked my one arm over the ladder so i could get my phone out w the other hand and take the pics from in there. and then i climbed back out. the ladder rungs made my hands SO gross and dirty with rust i was like eugh eugh.
but after that the only picture left to take was the one w my pen and the only way for me to go was back out towards the entrance so i was like its fine im almost done. so i went back out until i got to the tunnel after the first fork and i was like cool here’s a good a place as any so i got my pen ready + went to get my camera out, and literally RIGHT as the flashlight went out and the camera app opened i was like SO sure i saw something move vaguely in the darkness to my right like REALLY close to me shoulder height so i was like uhhh no and took a flash photo more out of reflex than anything and i didnt see anything but also the flash lit up for like, one second and then it was dark again so i like switched back to the flashlight really quick and obviously it was just a normal tunnel and i was the only one there so i opened the camera app again to try to take the pic again and literally just like the first time right as the flashlight turned off i was soooo sure something moved right next to me like so close but i was like “nell. youre being insane.” so i didnt do anything and i just took like three more possible variations on the pic i wanted and then i turned my flashlight back on and once again obviously nothing was amiss so i was like epic win and went back out the tunnel entrance. and then i was like............. oh god i have to do the gate squirm again. but there was no other way so i just did it really fast before i could really get worked up about it lol and then i went back over to the freight elevator only when i pressed the button it would light up and then immediately go dark when i unpressed it and i was like oh fuck because 90% of the time when you get in on the ground floor this elevator literally refuses to take you to the basement and i was like oh no it re-locked while i was down here and now i can’t get up this way so im just like in this basement for the foreseeable future but then of course as i was going down that tangent the elevator doors opened and i stepped into the fluorescent light and looked down and was like wow i am just so thoroughly, completely, orangely covered in dirt. but i made it home with like 5 minutes to wash up a bit before my evening class so that was a win! i did learn however that i should never take my evening dose of adderall directly after a bit of minor breaking&entering while the adrenaline is still there because when i got to class i almost jackhammered a hole through the floor with my shakyleg
#tired and still probably quite dirty if im being honest but Satisfied with the Outcome#also i had a lot of fun during + especially afterwards when i got to actually use the pics i took
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
{ LORENZO ZURZOLO , CIS MALE , HE / HIM } way out here in the ozarks , i’d never expect to find PARKER MURPHY , the TWENTY year old PART TIME BARTENDER / STUDENT at the SILK AND SATIN / COMMUNITY COLLEGE . on the afternoon of september 4th , HE was WITH FRIENDS AT CRESCENT INK but i’m not sure i believe a word they say .
hm ... f - finally ? hi i’m bailey & i’m kind of a piece of garbage , but i mean well uwu . this is very bare minimum as much as it pains me , someone who writes like novels if not stopped , but i really wanted to get it out so sacrifices had to be made ( i .. say this as if i still didn’t go over 1k lmao anywsgdfhdhnf )
PINTEREST / primarily blood tw , minor smoking + food/drink tw . also , mentions of death , blood , very briefly food , smoking & underage drinking in intro !! nothing too descriptive , but still there
— ASSOCIATED AESTHETICS .
blood - stained teeth cracked wide in a mirthful grin as loud laughter rings out . fake id cards tucked neatly in a shoe box , ready to replace each other after confiscation . holding up cigarettes to angel statues . sneaking alcohol in between bible pages , in coke cans , anywhere . blood under your nails but you aren’t sure where it came from . nihilistic tendencies as a coping mechanism .
— ASSOCIATED TROPES .
it amused me . honor among thieves . cool people rebel against authority . clandestine chemistry . troubled , but cute .
— QUICK STORY .
prideful and stubborn , thinking yourself on top of the world for no good reason . from a young age , you believed that you could be untouchable if you put your mind to it . always the rambunctious boy on the playground , spinning tales to your classmates and creating schemes which landed you on the dreaded timeout wall , everyone either flocked to you or steered clear . understandable , you would think as you grew up . you were an acquired taste , and that’s something you took satisfaction in . your mom soon found scolding only spurred you on more ; negative attention is still attention , a terrible mindset to have , but what you adapted . tough love is evident in your posture , the way you speak , it’s what you know . what many thought to be a boyish phase didn’t change as you got older . if anything , it got worse . your schemes elevated , all for the risk . all eyes on you . it’s like a heightened middle child syndrome , some could say . you aren’t sure if you can disagree or not , but you would sooner bite your tongue and swallow the blood than admit it . the more phone calls to your mom , the more frustrated with you she became . understandable , you think again . however , you didn’t stop . like always , it grew with you ; a scab you couldn’t quit picking , an aching tooth you kept prodding with your tongue , bruises you kept pressing fingers against in order to see if they still hurt . you never learned . not how they wanted you to , at least .
on your thirteenth birthday you got a chemistry set — your mom wasn’t sure if it was worth it at first , knowing you spent more school hours in suspension than in a classroom , yet the way your eyes lit up told her it was the best purchase she made . little did she know you would catch small fires from mixing things together , because you were bored or because you wanted to see what would happen , even if you had an idea of the possible destruction . but , despite all the clashing , your mom loved you . you know she did or else she wouldn’t have dealt with you like this . only a mother’s love could adore such a nightmare like you . as a teenager , you gained a more notorious reputation . in and out of the local police station , mostly for juvenile crimes , but constantly skating on thin ice . we all die one day , you would say with a laugh , let’s have interesting stories for when we’re six feet under . despite your failings , purposeful or not , you maintained well enough grades in school ; specifically in sciences . chemistry really was the love of your life , next to unbridled mischief of course .
taking a break year after high school graduation , you found a job as a bartender at the local strip club . it wasn’t what you wanted to do for the rest of your life , though it was good to pass time . you eventually enrolled in the community college for chemistry , but it still left you feeling restless and unfulfilled , wanting more than this small town life . maybe you paid too much attention to the legacy your grandfather left ( perhaps another bad mentality of yours ) , or simply you were reading too many comics and watching too many crime films . but the wild idea of pharmaceutical chemistry for an , admittedly , less than savory gain had worked its way into your head a few times . no one knows exactly what you get up to when you shut them out to mess around with chemicals , however would anyone be surprised if you went completely off the rails ? the answer came sooner than you expected , just not in the way any imagined .
you had an argument with your mom again . you slammed your bedroom door like a child , causing your out - grown signs to rattle at the impact , angry and hurt by the stinging words thrown back at you … yet again too prideful and stubborn to say it . she loves you , you reminded yourself . she wants what’s best for you . and the bullshit you kept pulling ? not it . if she wasn’t so well liked , you were almost certain you’d been kicked from college before finishing . you didn’t mean it , you didn’t mean what you said — you never do , do you ? words come out hot and hastily before your brain can stop them . sometimes you can blame the booze you stole , most times you can’t . when she turned up , dead , you felt sick and violently so . your nihilism turned itself up in order to protect you . we all die one day , your own words echo back in your head . it’s maddening , and you just have to cope .
how do you cope ? you aren’t sure .
— QUICK FACTS / HEADCANONS .
place of birth : veritas , missouri
date of birth : august 8th , 1957
astrology : leo sun , sagittarius moon , gemini rising , aries midheaven
positives : confident , innovative , steadfast , fun - loving
negatives : impish , discontented , boisterous , intense
mbti : entp
enneagram : type 8
romantic orientation : demi - biromantic
sexual orientation : bisexual
dog person !! would absolutely get tackled by a police dog and be like omg what’s their name
has an eyebrow scar cause that’s cool , right ?
favorite flavor combo is cherry & vanilla , but mint & chocolate is close
honestly that one kid in class who makes the teacher go “ i’ll wait ”
a nightmare luv … but he’s trying to keep his vibe … acts like he doesn’t care , actually cares a lot
uhhh i project this onto so many of my characters , i’ll admit it . but like , he has gotten a nosebleed after stepping into church before jdfhbjdhnf
big “ god has a lot to answer for ” energy
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
numb without you (part two)
a/n: this is part two (2/???) of numb without you!! please refer to part one to follow the timeline correctly. I really haven’t written something along the lines of this in a very long time, so I am very thankful for every single one of you that have read, liked and reblogged this series already. feel free to message me about any blurbs you want me to write or talk about on here :) with that being said please enjoy part two of numb without you
pairing: readerxluke (and calum lmao)
word count: 2.3k
summary: three months down the road from the night you spent with luke and calum at the club and you have to figure out what to do / movie night with luke
playlist: numb without you by the maine & intoxicated by the cab
rating: PG-13
warnings: swearing, mention of a hookup, mention of blood
----------------------
Y/N’s POV:
You inhale and exhale slowly, trying to focus on everything but what you are currently buying at the drug store around the corner from your place. This is the absolute last place you wanted to be. Nothing against the drug store, you have spent many late nights grabbing last minute snacks and groceries you had either forgotten at the store previously or things here and there that were more convenient to pick up there. You feel your cheeks get warm the minute you put your item on the counter. The elder woman checking you out gives you a look of disappointment that you try not to take to heart considering that she probably had kids at an age much younger than you are right now. You give her the money for the box and head back home to take the test.
As you sit on the floor of your bathroom with the door locked you sigh trying to remember exactly how you got here. It’s been about three months since your drunken hookup with Calum occurred and since then you have missed your period twice. This normally wouldn’t be a big deal, but you are always regular like down to the hour and you thought skipping one was abnormal let alone two. And if we’re being honest, you were scared shitless. You’re hardly 22, you can’t be a mom. You aren’t ready for that responsibility; you killed your last goldfish within the span of a week last year.
But maybe you don’t have to worry about this all just yet. The timer on your phone reads that you have a minute and a half left until you can check the pregnancy test that is resting on your bathroom counter next to the sink. Maybe you’re just under a lot of stress and that is what is causing your periods to be extremely late. I mean you have been under a lot of stress at your job. You have had about fifteen manuscripts sitting on your desk at work since the beginning of this week. You have been busting your ass to get them done in time, working late every day hoping that you wouldn’t have to take any of them home with you for the weekend so your edits can be done and on your boss’s desk bright and early Monday morning. It’s Thursday evening now and the thought of trying to get things done is sitting heavily on your shoulders. Just as your mind starts to drift off to other things the timer on your phone goes off indicating that it is time to check the test.
Positive.
You blink a couple times, quickly trying to keep the tears forming in the brim of your eyes away from your line of sight. You’re pregnant. You can’t even begin to comprehend the little lines staring back at you. There are two other tests in the box. You quickly unwrap them and go to take them both. This can’t be happening. It has to be a false positive. Those happen, right? What are you going to tell your mom? She already thinks it’s a bad idea for you to be living in a small apartment in the middle of LA by yourself. You can’t expect her to be overjoyed that you are going to have a baby out of wedlock. You set the timer on your phone again, which is a seemingly difficult task considering you are now shaking.
You wait the few minutes until both tests are ready. This wait seems longer than the last, fear boiling inside of you causing you to worry ten times more than you previously were. This can’t be happening. It was one night, one mistake.
The timer goes off for a second time and you slowly get up off your bathroom floor and check the other two tests.
Positive.
Positive.
Fuck.
What are you going to do?
-------------------------------------------
{three hours later}
Your phone rings. You hate yourself for picking “Intoxicated” by The Cab as your ringtone as you glance at the Caller ID. Quickly you wipe your tears and clear your throat and answer the phone.
“Hello?” you choke out, your emotions not doing the best job at hiding themselves in your tone.
“Y/N, what’s up? Why do you sound like you’ve been crying?” Luke asks concerningly.
“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it,” you respond quickly, hoping he would change the subject before more tears spill out.
“If you say so…anyway I was calling to ask if you wanted to have a movie night tonight, but if it’s a bad time I can let you go…” he replies tentatively.
“No no you can come over it’s fine,” you say hoping this conversation will end sooner than it started.
“Okay, I’ll be there in 10,” he says quickly before hanging up.
You sigh the second he hangs up. You don’t want anything to seem out of the ordinary, so you quickly compose yourself. A few deep breaths seem to do the trick for the time being. You grab the tests from your bathroom counter and throw them away in the trash can, putting some toilet paper in the bin to cover them up. As you finally exit the bathroom you take another deep breath, holding back the tears that are threatening to spill onto your cheeks purely because of the stress you are now under.
You tidy up your place as fast as you can, knowing Luke could knock on your door at any minute. You don’t worry about what movie you will watch or how he is going to try to pry this secret out of you, you only focus on the then and now in order to keep your composure. Just as you fold the last blanket and set it on top of the couch, you hear a knock on your front door. You know it is Luke by the way he knocks, softly 3 times, and you open the door without even looking at who is behind it. Luke smiles as soon as he lays his soft blue eyes on you. He follows you to the kitchen where you went to find some snacks to make when he picks you up and spins you around throwing you over his shoulder.
“Luke!” you exclaim, laughing ever so slightly, “put me downnnnn.”
“Fine, but only because you asked OH so nicely,” Luke responds sarcastically, rolling his eyes as he puts you down, plopping on the nearest chair as he watches you move about the kitchen.
You look through your cupboards and refrigerator and finally decide on making some nachos for the two of you to share. You grab the ingredients and all the things you know he likes on his nachos; I mean the two of you are best friends after all, and you throw your masterpiece into the microwave to heat up. Luke seems to have a careful eye on you particularly tonight and you can’t tell if it is due to the conversation the two of you had on the phone earlier or if it was because of something else. Maybe he has always looked at you this way, but now you are extra paranoid because of the new information you found out in the bathroom a few hours prior to his arrival.
When the nachos are ready you grab the plate and a couple of napkins and sit on the couch as Luke paws through your extensive movie collection. You swear he is taking his sweet time picking a movie when he finally decides on one of your favorite comedic dramas, Life as We Know It. He puts the DVD into the DVD player, grabs the remotes and finds a blanket before sitting next to you. He covers both of your legs with the blanket and presses play while grabbing a nacho from the plate in your hands. And if everything hadn’t crashed and burned earlier today, all would seem right in the world.
About an hour into the movie Luke asks you to pause it because he has to use the bathroom, you think nothing of it knowing he has a tiny bladder and a short attention span and normally can’t sit through a two hour movie without asking you to stop it at least one. You finish the last of the nachos and get up to put the dish in the sink and grab a water for you and your apparently already overhydrated friend. You and Luke both get back to the couch at the same time and you get settled back where you were. Just as you are about to press play on the remote, Luke looks at you quizzically, causing you to wonder what is on his mind.
“Well are you going to say something or are you just going to give me that dumbass look you wear so well?” you ask as he continues to stare at you.
Luke sighs before speaking, “I mean… do you want to tell me why I found this empty box of pregnancy tests on the floor next to the toilet?”
You look at him like a deer caught in headlights. How could you be so stupid as to leaving the box in the bathroom? What are you going to tell him, the truth? That you had sex with his best friend over three months ago and now you’re 99% positive that you are pregnant with said friend’s child? This is too much for just another movie night.
You begin to form the words you want to say when Luke goes on, “Not to mention the three positive pregnancy tests in your trash poorly hidden under some wadded-up toilet paper. I knew you were hiding something but this? This is a lot, Y/N. When did this happen? Why did this happen? Who’s the father? Does he know yet? Does your mom know yet? What are you going to do?”
“Well,” you start taking a deep breath knowing you don’t have a lot of the answers he’s looking for, “if you’re asking what’s up, apparently I’m pregnant which I only found out a few hours ago. I didn’t necessarily want to hide it from you, but I barely have an explanation for all of this myself let alone an explanation for someone else. I’m assuming this happened a few months ago. Fun fact I haven’t been bleeding like I’m supposed to, and I know you hate when I mention all that girlie stuff but it’s true. I was drunk when this hookup happened and you’re going to hate me even more when I tell you all the details. The father does not know yet and neither does my mother. Honestly you’re the only one besides myself that knows right now and I’m scared out of my fucking mind.”
Luke opens his mouth lie he is about to say something then closes it as he continues to think. You take this opportunity to just bite the bullet and tell him what really happened.
“Remember that night where we all went out to that club you like? Me, you, the guys, their girlfriends and the few strays they must have conjured up along the way? I really didn’t want to go out that night, but I owed you one, so I went. The club was not my scene at all. Too loud, too many people, not enough air circulating around the dancefloor. I stepped out to catch my breath and found Calum smoking outside. We got to talking, and you know how much he gets under my skin sometimes. This time was different though, it was more playful, which made it easier to have a real conversation with him. We talked and one thing led to another and I woke up the next morning with only his ratty drop-dead t-shirt on while sleeping in a unfamiliar yet familiar enough bed. And all I can say now is that I’m sorry. I’m really fucking sorry, Luke. I know he is one of your best friends and I’m one of your best friends. I wasn’t thinking and I lied to you saying I took an uber home and got there not even twenty minutes after stepping out of the club. God, I’m so sorry.” You burst into tears towards the last sentence you spoke, knowing this is the worst you have ever hurt him.
“How could you?” He softly asked as he slowly got up from the couch grabbing his wallet, phone and keys heading out of your apartment. You could tell how broken he was, finally comprehending the madness.
The minute he walked out of your apartment it was like a bomb just exploded in your own living room. The blanket only covering half of your body, the remotes sprawled out on the cushion where he was sitting just a moment ago. Your life is slowly falling apart right before your own two eyes and there is nothing you can do about it except cry. The tears flow and flow, creating a damp spot on the blanket below you. Your sobs echoing throughout the otherwise silent apartment. You want to call Luke; you want to call your best friend and ask him to come back just to hold you and tell you everything is okay. But you shouldn’t and you won’t. You have hurt him enough for today. Instead you allow the sobs to take over your body, feeling completely and utterly lost.
And just when you think you could not cry another tear, Intoxicated plays quietly from your phone perched on the other end of the couch. You grab it quickly praying that it was Luke calling to say he is outside your door waiting to come back in and be there for you. You check the caller ID and see that it is not who you expected it to be, not in the slightest. Your phone read one name that hurt so much you could hardly stand it.
Calum.
#luke#Luke hemmings#Luke hemmings blurb#Luke hemmings imagine#luke blurb#Luke imagine#5sos blurb#5sos imagine#lukehemmings#Luke hemmings fluff#5sos fluff#numb without you#jules writes#calum hood#5sos#5 seconds of summer#5 seconds of summer imagine#5 seconds of summer blurb#best friend!luke
46 notes
·
View notes
Text
warm - joshua hong
group: seventeen
member: joshua (featuring wonwoo)
prompt: hey I left my student id in my room and you’re the first person who’s walked by my building for hours now, I hate to be such a bother but can you pretty please swipe me in, it’s freezing
words: 2049
genre: fluff
warnings: uhhh some swearing and like,, the slightest mention of hentai lmao
Admittedly, going on a morning jog in an attempt to be healthy wasn’t the greatest thing to do before you had coffee. Nothing was the greatest thing to do before you had coffee. After nursing your hangover for the past three days after New Years eve, you had decided to finally get a start on your resolutions, determined to finally complete your lifelong goal of accomplishing a single new years resolution. However, at this point, you were ready to drop yet another resolution faster than you could say ‘fuck’, especially once you realized your reality.
“Fuck!” you swore as you stood in front of your building, your nose and cheeks rosy from the cold. In your short-lived attempt at heath, you decided to not check and make sure that you had your student ID on you and instead sprint outside into the freezing cold that you instantly regretted. Running a hand through your hair, you went through all of your options.
Option one: you could call your best friend to come and open your door for you with his ID card.
Sighing, you shook your head. She was probably still asleep after working all day yesterday and you wouldn’t want to be the cause of her losing sleep.
Option two: you could be obnoxious until someone wakes up to yell and you and ask them to open the door for you.
In all honesty, anyone who’d be willing to open the doors for you would probably leave you outside to freeze just because you woke them up, so that’s a negative.
Option three: you break in.
Onto option four.
Option four: you freeze until someone walks past you and you beg them to open the door for you so you don’t die.
Unfortunately for you, option four seems like the best one. Grumbling as you settle yourself on the cold concrete just outside of the doors, you resign yourself to your fate. If anything, at least someone could laugh about how you died at your funeral.
“____ was a great person who passed far too soon thanks to her dumbassery.”
At least you’d teach students to never leave their dorms without ensuring that they have their student ID’s.
it feels like you’d been waiting for hours when the first sign of life appears in the form of an angel. Scrambling to your feet, you almost sprint towards the boy in excitement because holy shit you were saved. “Thank god,” you let out a sigh of relief before quickly gathering the attention of the boy in the only form your clumsy ass was able to do at eight in the morning: slip on a patch of ice and fall straight on your ass.
Letting out a hiss of pain, you try to push yourself off of the cold ground when a foreign hand appears in front of your face, belonging to the boy. Glancing up at the boy in front of you, your face heats up as his worried eyes meet your own.
“That was a pretty nasty fall, are you okay?” His voice is warm, reminding you of creamy hot chocolate or your bed when you’re lying there in pure bliss. Really, it just reminds you of anything that isn’t the freezing cold that you’ve been in for the past hour.
“Peachy,” you wince as you take his hand, pulling yourself to your feet. This is your chance ____, just ask the cute boy to swipe you in and this’ll all be over. “Hey, uh, do you think you could-” he cuts you off before you can ask him to swipe you in.
“You do realize that it’s still winter, right?” He chuckles as he glances at your light jacket that you most definitely regret wearing.
“No way,” you retort, “I thought that it was mid-summer with all the snow on the ground.”
The boy lets out a snort, before glancing down at you uncovered hands that were still in his. In all honesty, you hadn’t pulled away due to his hands being so warm against your frozen fingers, but as you notice his gaze being on your hands you quickly pull them away and stuff them back into your thin jacket pockets. “How long have you been out here?”
“What time is it?”
“Around eight-thirty.”
“An hour.”
“What?” confusion contorts his face as he meets your eyes once again.
“I’ve been out here for an hour,” you clarify, thinking that he didn’t hear you properly.
Quickly shaking his head, the boy grabs your hands in his before dragging you in the direction opposite of your building. “Do you know how cold it is? You’re lucky if you just sick from being outside for so long in that coat, you could’ve gotten frostbite,” he chides, only pausing when you pull your hand (regretfully) out of his warm grasp.
“Dude, where are you taking me?” He only sighs before meeting your eyes again.
“To my dorm. You need to get warmed up.” He says the words as if they were obvious and that there was absolutely nothing wrong with dragging a complete stranger to your dorm room at eight in the morning.
“I don’t even know your name!”
“I’m Joshua, can we please get you inside before you actually lose a finger?”
You let out a sigh, realizing that he won’t give up on getting you ‘warm’, whatever that meant. “Fine,” you grumble and Joshua quickly grabs your hand back into his before continuing down the pathway.
It didn’t take long to arrive at Joshua’s building, and you couldn’t help but quickly bounce around as he swiped his student id and opened the door. Scampering past him and into the warmth, you let out a content sigh only for Joshua to look at you with amusement dancing across his lips. “C’mon, let’s get you up to my dorm so you can really warm up.” He starts walking towards the elevator before he pauses and turns to look at you with a sheepish look crossing his face. “Oh uh, my roommate is home so don’t mind him if he’s kinda grumpy, he isn’t a morning person.”
Turns out that Joshua’s roommate was one of the quieter boys in your literature class, Jeon Wonwoo, who you already knew to not be a morning person due to the countless times you’ve watched him walk into the lecture hall with dark bags under his eyes and a scowl on his face.
It took Wonwoo a few moments before he recognized your face, his morning scowl somewhat lessening as he nods a greeting before turning his attention onto his roommate. “I didn’t know that you know ____ Josh.”
“I didn’t until this morning,” Joshua turns to look back at you, his eyes mischievous as he started to tease you. “She’s much more graceful in the morning that you are Woo.”
You swat the boy as a pout forms on your lips. “Hey, if you didn’t cut me off when I was trying to ask you to open my building door for me you wouldn’t have had to drag me to your building and I wouldn’t have almost slipped twelve more times.”
“Oh.” Joshua’s face turns red before he whips back around to look at Wonwoo who was chuckling into his coffee mug.
“Classy.”
You let out a snort, a smirk tugging at your lips. “An interrupting gentleman, who could’ve known that there was such a thing.”
“I don’t need lit nerds ganging up on me this early in the morning, let me breath,” Josh chuckles as he slides off his thick winter jacket and tosses it onto their living room couch. Turning around to face you, he nods in the direction of the couch. “Make yourself at home ____.”
For some reason, hearing Joshua’s warm voice say your name made your stomach flutter and your face begin to heat up as you quickly moved past Josh to take your place on the couch. As you pass Josh, you mutter out a quick ‘thanks’ that only made him chuckle in response. Quickly disappearing into one of the two rooms in the dorm, you’re left with a smirking Wonwoo staring at you.
“So,” the tall boy chuckles, “you got locked out?”
“I’ll have you know that I forgot to grab my ID.”
“That’s so much worst.”
“I know,” you pout, pushing yourself into the cream coloured couch to try and warm yourself up some. Wonwoo doesn’t miss this, as stands up to grab another mug from the small kitchen cupboard.
“Want some coffee?” He offers.
Nodding vigorously, you glance over at one of the few friends you have in your literature class. “I would fucking kill for some coffee.”
As he starts to pour the hot liquid, Josh reappears from one of the rooms with an armful of blankets. Carefully making his way over to you, he drops the bundle of blankets onto the cushion next to you before picking one pack up and holding it over you. “Arms in or out?”
“What?”
“Arms in the blankets or out of the blankets,” he clarifies, his words causing you to let out a snort.
“What are you gonna do, swaddle me?” You tease, only for Josh to chuckle and nod. “Dude,” you laugh, “I can put blankets on myself.”
He pouts, still holding out the warm looking comforter. “C’mon, ____. Let me swaddle you.”
Wonwoo’s deep voice rings out from across the room as he chuckles. “Just let him do it ____, he won’t give up until you give in.”
Glancing up at the boy standing over you, you snort. “Is he serious?”
“Absolutely.”
“Will you stop lecturing me on how I could’ve gotten frostbite if I let you?”
“We’ll see,” Josh’s smile widens as you nod, quickly going to work to ensure that you’re thoroughly covered in blankets.
Stepping back to admire his handy work, Josh grins down at you as you roll your eyes. “How does a broke college student have this many blankets?” you chuckle as you glance down at yourself.
“I took them from my bed,” he admits, face heating up. “I was going to grab them from Wonwoo’s bed but I was afraid that he’d try to smother me in my sleep if I did.”
Shrugging as best as you can under the layers of material that covers almost every inch of your skin, you smile at Josh. “I really don’t care where the blankets came from, I’m just happy that I’m warm.”
His face lights up at your words as he plops himself down on the couch beside you and reaches for the TV remote on the small table in front of you. “Wanna watch something?” he offers, holding out the remote to you.
“Josh,” you deadpan, “I don’t know if you can’t tell but I genuinely can’t use my hands.”
“Oh,” he chuckles as he drops the hand holding the remote. “well, do you still want to watch something?”
“Do you watch anime?” as soon as the words leave your lips, Joshua’s face splits into a wide grin and a loud groan can be heard from the kitchen area of the dorm.
Quickly winking at you, Josh chuckles. “I think we’re going to get along great ___.”
“I refuse to have two weebs in this dorm with me,” Wonwoo calls out from the kitchen. “I’ll be overrun.”
“Just give in already Woo,” Joshua chuckles, “then we can finally reach our final form.” His words cause you to let out a snort as the tall boy groans once again.
“And suddenly any chance that I’d spend time watching anime with you is gone.”
“That’s fair,” turning his gaze back to you, Joshua smiles, “you pick and then we can go from there.”
“Bold of you to assume that I want to spend more time with you than I already am.” You tease, eyes dancing with amusement.
“Bold of you to assume that I won’t try to convince you to spend more time with me than you already have.”
“Touche,” you shrug, “turn something on already.”
“Anything?”
“Anything.”
“Absolutely anything in the whole wide world?”
“Josh, if you play hentai, I will kick your ass out of this dorm.”
“It’s my dorm?”
“Not if you play hentai in this holy household.”
“That’s fair.”
i had no idea how to end this lmao so uhh i hope you enjoy some soft joshua hong,,,,, also i didn’t proofread this at all cause im a r e b e l lmao
#joshua hong#hong jisoo#seventeen joshua#seventeen#seventeen fanfic#seventeen fanfiction#joshua fanfic#joshua fanfiction#kpop#kpop fanfic#kpop fanfiction#fanfic#fanfiction#this took so long to write for some reason
66 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
cookieloveedmonton
Untitled
pine-book
no-idea
charmcitybinhduong
Charm City
trolledu
Trolleywood
roslynnsommers
Stuff 'n Things