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inthememetime · 11 months

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Cursed necklace DPxDC AU

Vlad is a 24yr-old student who dies in college...in the early 1900s. Since then, he has haunted the University of Wisconsin by virtue of his his old necklace.

He likes the school- and the students like him! Since photography became accessible, students, teachers, staff, and visitors alike have been trying to get photos with him, students bribe him to help with homework (after all, he's been auditing classes for a century), mainly with cheep beer, fried cheese-related foods, and (since some kid introduced him to the Green Bay Packers), Packers memorabilia.

The students leave the game on for him, and the brave ones turn the lights off and leave a spot open for him in the hopes of seeing the Wisconsin University ghost up close and personal. (If they combine this with cheese sticks and beer, it's a near guarantee).

In general, he's a beloved figure. But then the Fentons start college there. At first, it's cool! These humans have made machines to let them listen to him (with some translation errors), they're building a portal to the GZ, which means he can have other ghosts to talk to, again, and they're fun!

Oh. Wait. They're being kicked out because they tried something unethical. Oh well! Somebody just turned on a Packers game, and he can smell the cheesesticks already.

Little does he know, the Fentons have created their prototype thermos. Until his necklace (and due to the lack of ambient ectoplasm), essentially his core is in there.

For 15. Long. Years.

Danny- not as Phantom, just Danny- finds the box and, with the curiosity of a 9-year-old opens the box. Soon, he's contaminated, despite his new buddy trying to keep him safe. And dies. Yep 9 year old Phantom.

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE! See Damian was a TWIN! Bruce is, when he tracks down said twin, Very Displeased by the lack of safety measures, and takes his other biological son (and his son's sister who is only 12 rn) home with him.

Bruce does NOT know about his hitchhiker; a centuries-old vampire ghost. He also doesn't know Danny's dead. More under the cut!

Clark gets mind controlled and tries to start a fight. Tries being the operative word here, because his 9-year-old is fighting a grown Kryptonian. And winning.

Plasmius steals cheese a lot, turns TVs to Packers games, and is generally a nuisance. Constantine is called.

Constantine has a new best friend because holy shit, a real ghost who's willing to talk to him! He can get so much info!

Bruce: Can you get him out of my house? Plasmius: Where Danny goes, I go.

Danny: Hey, can I have this? *eats a blob ghost in front of everyone*. *shares half with Plasmius*

Constantine is both horrified and curious. Clark gets punted across state lines by a vampire ghost who was Not Happy his kiddo got in a fight. Jason gets therapy a la a 12-year-old girl, a 9-year-old half-dead kid, and a centuries-old ghost.

There's enough ambient ectoplasm to thrive on, so Plasmius can roam and Danny can start learning powers. Vlad starts teaching Jason on the sly too.

Danny starts talking to bats, cats, rats, and a snake Damian rescued. Damian takes him to break into zoos to see what else he can talk to. Bruce is tired.

Plasmius uses his doubles for housework purposes in exchange for cheese from Alfred. Alfred abuses this shamelessly to drag Bruce up from the cave and make him eat.

Jasmine is Aggressively Normal. To the point where they're considering therapy, but then she gets kidnapped, talks to Harley, and embraces her alter identity as The Mindflayer.

Ok fine, she admits that is a little villainous. Maybe she can be Wraith or something? "Look, it seems you guys are being a little too upset about-", " Jazmine, you turned the Joker into a vegetable." Jason: YEAH she did! C'mon, we're going to have some fun, kids!

Just- Bruce thought he was getting two kids from an abusive household. He did NOT sign up for 2 half-dead OP kids, a cheese and football-obsessed vampire ghost, and a...NO, Danny, you CANNOT keep the giant green hellhound. Damien, stop encouraging him!

#danny phantom #inthememetime #vlad masters #danny phantom au #dp x dc #danny fenton #redeemed vlad masters #batfam

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fumblingmusings · 9 months

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Cardverse 2023

Day Two: Jokers - Curse | Spirits/Hauntings | Escape

@aphcardverse-week

The Kirkland Estate has four boys. As is tradition, the eldest will inherit the Estate and guard the garden; the second will join the church. The younger two, however, have something else in store. Gen | Referenced Minor USUK Romance | Mild Horror

“Peter!” Arthur snapped, yelling at the little boy across the gardens. He ran funny, Peter noted, with no skill in the physical sports that their brothers’ excelled in.

Peter was only young, no more than five, and so he came running when his fifteen year old brother called, meeting him part of the way along the trek.

“You cannot play there alone,” Arthur hissed, shaking the little boy's wrists in a chide born half from anger, half from fear. “You’ll be taken away! How many times has mother told you!”

There were some areas of the garden that were sealed off. Mother had even gone to the effort to fence off the bottom of the garden. Wrought iron gates with a literal skull decorating the main gate. A physical as well as magical barrier.

It had been hammered into all of her sons from the moment they were able to open the glass doors and leave the palace of their own free will: the gardens were free to explore, but leave the gated area alone. The creatures that lived there, spirits that few had the right to speak of, did not take kindly to trespassers.

The Kirkland estate had been built with the intent of gating off that area. Four boys were born to the family, two cousins who came and went as they pleased, and dozens of other second cousins who found interesting ways to make use of the family name. Mother’s husband was dead, conveniently, and she was quite content at running the estate, and the boys, herself. They all knew the rules - why their family mattered.

Protecting the trees and flowers at the base of the vast estate was all that mattered.

“I can’t even get past the fence,” Peter complained, taking to gnawing on Arthur’s grip, moaning whilst his teeth clamped down on his older brother’s bare wrist.

“What?” hissed Arthur. Typical. He wasn’t listening.

“I can’t get past the fence!” Mama’s magic -”

“Then why were you even trying?”

Arthur’s anger was unusual. He was usually a scatterbrain, never quite seeming to be fully listening to the conversation occurring in front of him. He had thrown himself into books as a young child, and developed a keen sense of magic as a result. Mama said he was the most talented magic user she had seen that generation. Arthur had preened like a robin bird, puffing up his chest in jubilation.

He still did not pay attention very well. You always had to speak twice to make him understand what you were saying. It did not bother Peter, who himself also struggled to listen, but Peter had also noticed that Arthur - like himself - had no trouble outside of the house, outside of the estate.

When the other blonde boy came to visit, that little prince, he got Arthur’s full attention. It was weird, the sharp look of relief when Arthur heard the royal family were on a progress through the countryside.

Peter was always ignored when the prince came. Alasdair and Rhys were always elsewhere doing other things, and Arthur clung to the prince like glue. The King and Prince had only left that morning, and Peter, bored and lonely, had wandered outside.

“The people are asking for me!”

Arthur froze, then shook his brother even harder. Peter released his bite from Arthur’s wrists, leaving deep imprints but unpunctured skin.

“You hear them?”

“Hear what?” Peter looked up at his brother, eyes wider than dinner plates.

Arthur stared, face whiter than Peter had ever known. If he were not only five, he would have noted that his brother’s tone had gone from chiding to desperate to hear a confirmation.

But Arthur composed himself, then tossed Peter’s arm away, punting him forward back into the palace.

“Go, you’re supposed to be having your lessons.”

“But I don’t wanna -”

“‘I want’ doesn’t get!” he snapped, quoting mother. “Go!”

Peter grumbled, but met with the governess at the base of the stairs, complaining but ready to return up to the nursery. Arthur remained behind, staring at the black fence half a kilometre away. The iron seemed to shudder, as if something had thrown itself against the metal. Arthur told himself it was eye strain from looking at something so far away in the garden, and slammed the doors shut.

*****

“You’re really gonna become Queen.”

“Hm?”

“You said yes to Alfred?” Peter said, rephrasing the question.

Arthur’s inability to listen had grown worse, and his desire to leave home had only grown stronger over the years.

“Oh. Yes.”

Worst of all, as much as his listening skills had declined, so had his eloquence. Rarely did the man speak in anything more than monosyllabic sentences. It was as though he was only half in the real world anymore, his attention and mind split between two realms. Peter had long assumed it was the result of magic, but every now and then he caught Arthur watching the gates, almost as often as Peter himself found himself walking by his mother’s magic. What was once every other month had become a weekly walk, which was now daily.

The pressure to visit multiple times was almost overwhelming, if not for the fact that proprietary etiquette dictated that going on the same walk more than once a day was just a step too shameful. As silly as it sounded, Peter was glad for the feeling of embarrassment.

“You’ll be Queen,” Peter said.

Arthur’s blonde hair appeared from under his sheets. He had been curled up, like a snail’s shell.

“Looks like it.”

“Everyone’ll bow to you.”

“As they should.”

Peter laughed, then sobered up abruptly.

“Do you want to be Queen?”

“Yes.” Arthur waved at Peter, who was lingering by the doorway. His little brother bustled over, joining Arthur on his bed. He collapsed into a heap, pinning Arthur under the sheets. “Alasdair will run the estate with ma, Rhys is nearly prepared to join the Church… I got lucky.”

“Lucky how?”

“I’m useful to the family. Alfred is… he is good. He will be a good King.”

“Do you like him?”

“Do I what?”

“Like him. I saw you kissing in the garden.”

Arthur choked on air, regretting not having caught Peter’s first attempt at asking.

“Never mind that,” he spluttered. From underneath the sheets, Peter could not see his brother’s face burn red. “It is more than we could have hoped for.”

“But do you like him?”

Peter heard Arthur chew his tongue.

“When I am with him, time stops.”

Even a twelve year old child thought it romantic. But…

“What about me?”

“What about you?” Arthur said, noting the misery in his brother’s voice.

“What will I do?”

“Traditionally when you have a lot of boys one joins the army. Or the navy?”

“I don’t like sailing.”

“Army then. You can protect me when I’m Queen.”

Peter was quiet, thinking for a while. Arthur emerged from under the sheets. “You don’t want to?” he prodded.

His little brother shook his head. “You always say I never listen.”

“At least you know it.”

“I could never follow orders.”

Arthur’s hand patted Peter’s straw like hair. “Then you are free to choose. Do what you want. Just be sure to pick something. Be an artist or a musician. Buy your own land and start a business. Whatever you want Peter.”

“Do you want to be Queen?”

Arthur was very quiet, then let his hand fall away.

“Yes.”

Peter stared out the oversized glass windows. Arthur had pulled open the sash windows slightly, and the gauzy curtains fluttered in the breeze.

“Really?”

“It’s what I wanted,” Arthur said unhelpfully. Still, Peter did not get the impression he was lying.

“I don’t know what I want.”

“Well. You are only twelve.”

Peter turned around, shuffling until he could join Arthur under the covers. Arthur allowed him to do so, one last time.

“I’ll miss you when you go,” Peter muttered, face down into a pillow.

Arthur snorted, unable to stop smiling. “I’m not dying Peter. Just moving.”

“But you’ll be busy. Are you going to keep studying magic?”

“It’s one of the reasons I was chosen.”

“Then you won’t have time for me anymore. Alasdair doesn’t. Rhys doesn’t. Mama is barely…”

“You’ll be alright. It’s part of growing up. You came later than us four, it’s all happening at once. Alsadair will still be here. You just have to wait until Wintertide, he’ll be back from his studies then.”

Peter made a sad noise, and Arthur did not know what to say.

Silence passed for a while, and Arthur believed his little brother was falling asleep. It was not so uncommon for him to crawl into Arthur’s bed at night, though he had not done it for at least a year. Arthur was leaving the day after tomorrow however, so he simply assumed it was no more than a feeling of nostalgia, for things to be as they once were. Change was frightening, especially for a child on the cusp of adolescence. The world seemed to be leaving him behind, and his older brother’s had destinies that - to be frank - Peter had no chance of matching.

“Do you hear them still?” Peter whispered.

“Who?” Arthur asked.

“The spirits at the bottom of the garden.”

Arthur's breathing stopped, and when it resumed, it was shallow and fast, like a panting cat.

“What do they say to you?” he whispered, terrified of the answer.

“They say they're stuck. What do you hear?”

“Pardon?”

“You hear them too, I know you do. But you don’t hear them around Prince Alfred.”

Arthur was quiet again, closing his eyes.

“No.”

“Is that why you're becoming Queen?”

“Only a little.”

“Do Ali or Rhys hear it too?”

“No, just us.”

“Why?”

Arthur said nothing, and Peter made a grumpy sound. “You’re being annoying.”

His elder brother smacked him on the head, not too harshly, but it made Peter hiss.

“I don’t know Peter. I don’t know why you hear them. It is supposed to just be me that hears them.”

Peter latched on to this piece of information, and in his excitement he began to babble,

“Why? What do you hear them say? They always ask to be let out because they want to play with me. I don’t believe them, because Mama is always so serious when she talks about them, and she wouldn’t hurt someone without a good reason, and the King asked her to protect it, right?”

“...Right.”

“So they can be as nice as they want, I don’t believe them.” He looked to Arthur, expression expecting praise. He was disappointed, however, to see that his brother’s face was pale and withdrawn. Frightened.

“What are they, Arthur?” Peter asked. “What do they say to you?”

“Nothing nice.”

“What -”

“Go to sleep Peter. Listen to mother, and me. The moment you can, leave home. Okay? I’ve been driven half mad by what they tell me. They’ll run out of patience with you in time.”

“What do they tell you?” Peter argued, “Ma won’t say anything about it, I can’t tell her!”

Arthur’s eyes widened. “What do you mean you haven’t told her?”

He scrambled to get out of bed, Peter losing his balance and falling off the mattress in turn.

“Wait -”

“She needs to know Peter!”

The brothers went into the hallway, Peter trailing after Arthur, panicked. He threw his weight around, trying to slow Arthur down. There were no servants, it was too late for them to be roaming the halls. There was just the two brothers, arguing like children.

But Peter was a child. He was just a child. It was Arthur that should have known better.

“No, don't tell mama, please!”

“Why?”

“Because I’m strong enough to ignore them! They’ve never been mean to me, they talk and keep me company when you’re all too busy for me.”

The childish spite made Arthur snort, but it did not last long. Whatever pity Arthur felt for his little brother was smothered in a blinding fright. The buzzing in the back of his head, forever present and only sometimes understandable, was growing louder, a pressing shrill noise behind the eyes that was making him feel partially blind. His limbs moved jerkily, the confusion in his mind not letting him move smoothly. He never had been very elegant.

“That’s not the point! If you’re cursed like me -”

It was the wrong word to use.

“I’m not cursed!”

Immediately Arthur realised his mistake, and tried to get his arms around Peter, who had now backed several steps away, towards the grand staircase and the main entrance.

“Peter -” Arthur began, approaching the boy like a wild animal. The boy’s eyes were wet with tears, and the ringing in Arthur’s head grew louder.

“Why would you say that?” Peter cried. “You’re so high and mighty just because you’re gonna be Queen huh? You’re the one that’s cursed! They’ve never said a mean thing to me my entire life - what did you do to anger them?”

Arthur went to grab Peter’s wrist, only to miss as the boy ducked and began to run down the stairs.

“Nothing that’s the -”

A distinct boyish laughter filled Arthur’s head, making him fling himself away from the stairwell. Like his little brother, his eyes flooded with tears. Furious at himself, at the voice in his head, he finally shrieked, speaking to them for the first time, “Shut up! Shut up!”

His screaming only served to further frighten Peter, and Arthur gaped as Peter ducked under the stairs. He was heading for the glass doors that led to the garden.

“No! Wait, wait Peter! Peter come back.” Halfway down the stairs, he thought better of it and thought to pull in his mother, whose commanding presence would have Peter calm down and come back inside. She needed to know.

Some Queen he would be. He could not even get his brother to listen to him.

Turning and tripping back up the steps and down the polished halls, Arthur called out, “Mother! Ma! Ma!”

Arthur threw himself into his mother’s room, only to find that she was not there.

“Where the fuck…”

Another laugh, ghostly and ghastly, snide and mocking and making Arthur’s heart leap into his throat. Wasting time. He was wasting time.

Arthur followed his brother outside.

“Peter… Peter!”

The garden was black, with what little light there was from the house did not stretch down all the way to the gated area. Arthur could no longer see Peter, but it was not difficult to tell where he had gone. The wind was strong, blowing his ragged hair across his forehead.

The laughter in his head, as always, grew louder when he approached the gates. The air seemed to thrum with power, the iron shaking and groaning terribly, like a dying man’s last breaths.

“Peter? Peter I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

His hand hovered over the gate, but he could not bring himself to touch. Few could gain entry. Mother, being one, Arthur, being the other. It was a gift of their magic. A terrible awful gift. They alone could hear the spirits, they alone could contain them, they alone could break them out.

Or so they had thought.

And it was not although all spirits were bad. Arthur knew plenty of fairies and brownies and goblins and other creatures who, provided they were treated with respect and given suitable compensation for their assistance, were good to have on side.

These creatures could not be bargained with. They answered to no-one, held loyalty to nothing. The King’s response had been to lock them away - of course they loathed the family which held the keys. Who did not wish harm against their jailer?

Arthur was so stupid. He knew Peter could hear things. He had just assumed that mother would have also known, that she would have had a handle on things. Instead, the family’s habit of bottling everything up had come back to bite them in the arse. Again.

Arthur did not touch the gate, unsure if Peter had entered.

“Peter!” he tried once more. Arthur turned, desperately trying to see into the dark, but there was no sign of the little boy.

The iron cracked.

A shockwave threw Arthur back flat on his back. Gasping at the blinding light that burned his eyes, he sat up as soon as he was relieved of the pressure to his chest.

The garden, the hidden garden of rotted plants and dead trees, fallen leaves and iron red soil, throbbed.

Peter was inside, back to Arthur facing the largest tree: a long dead oak with a gaping hole in its trunk. Arthur had been told that the hole spread to the ground, deep, deep into the ground. Where it went, not even mother knew. But she spoke of it like a mouth. A hungry maw half starved.

Arthur tried to get up, rise to his feet, drag Peter back past the ruined gates and fling as best a barrier spell as he could, but Peter was moving faster, not even looking back as he clambered up over the straggling roots, curling up and towards the mouth.

“Wait! Peter, don’t!”

His little brother gave no signs of hearing, and with an eerie silence, entered the mouth, and dropped out of sight.

“Peter!”

The laughing in Arthur’s head became unbearable, and he collapsed back to the damp earth with a scream.

Curled into a ball, Arthur clamped his hands over his hears, pitifully calling out for his mother, wherever she was, as if she could make the voices stop, as if she could undo what had been done, as if she had a chance of bringing Peter back and reversing the spirits escape.

Arthur sobbed, beating his fists against his temple. The spirits spoke to him one last time as they fled the garden, ready to embark on whatever chaos they saw fit, never to be heard within Arthur’s mind again.

He would never forget their words, nor the promises they had made all his life, a promise he finally understood.

Congratulations to the new Queen. Congratulations to our new Joker.

#hetalia #fanfic #cardverse 2023 #op #hws england #hws sealand #cardverse

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ask-kidandjoker · 2 years

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Hey KID did you ever realize that the KID Killer may not have had a choice because from the way I see it, something doesn't seem right that he was crying because from what I could tell about that kid is that he doesn't really cry at all. Even if he gets hurt or upset nothing, no tears, no bawling or anything of the sort like that. So, whatever the reason is it had to be serious because that kid values the truth more than anything so he wouldn't lie unless he had no choice or was forced. So, try to think about it a little bit more and try to figure out why he did it and if you are just going to think of something along the lines of: "He was probably doing it to trick me and stop me." I will punt something, and it won't be fun and I'm looking at you too Joker. For once try to solve a mystery and not make one cause that situation you explained just screams "Something's wrong!" Put yourselves in his shoes and try to figure it out.

K: he- apologised to me… he had never acted like this before. You’re right, someone would have been forcing his hand. He was acting so desperately during the heist

#detective conan #case closed #dcmk #detective conan magic kaito #magic kaito #kaito kuroba #kuroba kaito #kaito kid #p5 #persona 5 #ask blog #conan edogawa #edogawa conan

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shslpunkartist99 · 7 months

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I really hope that Ai made it so that imposter Morgana can be repeatedly punted without any harm to him just for the shits and giggles.

Listen. That bobblehead cat will not know when to shut his mouth or at least dial back on the sass when it comes to some folks. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if he ends up getting punted by a good portion of the other participants for being too sassy with them lol.

A commom practice the trio like to do

Course it means nothing if the fake Morgana just reattaches to Joker like a friggin parasite

#just make it gross #some unidentifiable goop string keeping them together #just Akira and Morgana tho

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ao3feed-brucewayne · 1 year

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Imagine dying- oh wait I did

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/n8sX53m

by Cinnamon4toast

So my history is not good with ever finishing a story but that ends now because School is almost over and I have nothing to do so here

17 year old Peter Parker gets punted into Gotham and gets a family over time

Bad at summary’s

Words: 974, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), MC2 (Marvel)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Categories: F/M

Characters: Jason Todd, Peter Parker, Dick Grayson, Damian Wayne, Tim Drake, Bruce Wayne, May Parker (Spider-Man), Felicia Hardy, Ned Leeds, Tony Stark, Michelle Jones, Selina Kyle, Stephen Strange, all of the Batkids, Joker (DCU), Batmans rogues, I am to lazy to name them, Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, Jim Gordon, Avengers Team

Relationships: May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Jason Todd & Damian Wayne, Batfamily Members & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Jason Todd, Peter Burke & Dick Grayson, Tim Drake & Peter Parker, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne, Felicia Hardy/Peter Parker, Michelle Jones & Peter Parker, Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker & Stephen Strange

Additional Tags: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Author is lazy, Author is bad at writing, Jason Todd is a Batfamily Member, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, BAMF Peter Parker, Everyone Needs A Hug, Traumatized Peter Parker, Kinda Homeless Peter Parker, He gets a home eventually, Smart Peter Parker, Everyone is BAMF, Humor, random posting, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Precious Peter Parker, He gets a family, Protective Jason Todd, Protective Dick Grayson, Protective Bruce Wayne, Weapons, Gunshot Wounds, Guns, Jason Todd is a Menace, Protectiveness, Protective Batfamily (DCU), Your tears bring me energy, Major Character Injury, There might be death, Lazarus Pit Side Effects (DCU), Peter Parker is 17, So is Felicia Hardy

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/n8sX53m

#IFTTT #bruce wayne #batman #the dark knight #the cape crusader #gotham #dc universe #ao3 #ao3feed

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ao3feed-friendsofspiderman · 1 year

Text

Imagine dying- oh wait I did

by Cinnamon4toast

So my history is not good with ever finishing a story but that ends now because School is almost over and I have nothing to do so here

17 year old Peter Parker gets punted into Gotham and gets a family over time

Bad at summary’s

Also I do not own any of these characters

Words: 974, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), MC2 (Marvel)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Categories: F/M

Relationships: May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Jason Todd & Damian Wayne, Batfamily Members & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Peter Parker, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne, Felicia Hardy/Peter Parker, Michelle Jones & Peter Parker, Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker & Stephen Strange, Dick Grayson & Peter Parker, Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker & Bruce Wayne

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/47161003

#Peter Parker #Michelle Jones #Ned Leeds #FOS #fanfic

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otemporanerys · 2 years

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I don’t have anything for N7 Day so have a wooing snippet

The first gift was selected on impulse and, Garrus wasn’t too proud to admit, somewhat hastily. He remembered that humans liked shiny rocks, and it was a traditional, albeit slightly old-fashioned, way of expressing romantic interest in turian cultures as well. And he thought he’d found the perfect one.

Garrus stubbed his toe on it on one of their quick planet-side missions: he’d nearly punted it to the other side of the atmosphere before he could get a good look. It was smooth, round, symmetrical, with a nice texture and – this was the piece de resistance – streaks of a green mineral that almost, almost matched Shepard’s eyes. They weren’t as pure or as brilliant, of course, but still. A turian woman would’ve died.

When Garrus handed it to her in the main battery, Shepard’s face twisted, and it was an unwelcome reminder that she was not, in fact, turian.

“It’s, uh.” She tilted her head. “Cool.”

Shepard mentioned it, offhandedly, to Joker, and he grinned so hard Garrus thought his face might cut in half. Garrus spent the next two days with his omnitool buzzing almost constantly while Joker sent him vids of squat black-and-white flightless birds with messages like these guys have way more game than you.

Don’t you have a job? Garrus eventually texted back.

Ship basically runs itself, replied Joker. Bugging you is a full-time occupation.

Garrus blocked him. EDI overrode it.

#wooing fic tag #fic chat #n7 day #mass effect fic #shakarian fic #mass effect #shakarian #wip #it's been a bad month for writing but I am getting there

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wornoutmouse · 3 years

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May I request Ogun with a Black shy female reader doing a training session that leads to a little bit more 🙈

Anon please

You’re a second-generation pyrokinetic (Like Joker and Maki). Idk why but I made up in my head that you have flint-bottomed tap-dancing shoes that briefly light when you scrape your feet against the floor…..so that’s where you get your fire from 🤣🤣🤣

This one is a bit longer than normal cause i gotta build the tension

I am terrible at action scenes bruh

Chug- lift heels, slide forward, and then drop the heels at the end of the slide forwards

“Hey, Y/n!” You look up from the bland mashed potatoes and corn Company 5 had prepared. It was a hot Sunday morning and your partner in crime was as excited as ever. He stood a few feet away at the back entrance in the cafeteria. Cocking a thumb behind him, he dawns a toothy grin. “Want to play a quick game?” The game Ogun hinted at was one you were quite familiar with and one you should have known he would ask you to participate in today. “Fine, but don’t cry when I win.” You scoop another spoonful of corn before tossing your tray away for recycling. You’d need all your strength cause Ogun never lost without asking for back-to-back redos.

.You didn’t quite understand the need to be sweaty all the time, but always gave in to his whims

Ogun preferred to train in the field where the sun shined the most throughout the day at the far left of the Company. Often as you went on throughout your day-to-day training, you’d spot Ogun doing laps and practicing his attacks throughout the day.

“I’m feeling fired up today Y/n, you might want to be worried.” You close your eyes as you stretched an arm over your chest. You had yet to lose but you knew Ogun only saw that as a personal goal to get past. “Let’s get this over with, I’m tired.” The smell of smoke enters your nostrils giving you enough time to dodge Oguns boosted attack. “I told you about letting yourself known Mr. Montgomery.” You open your eyes, Oguns skin was lit ablaze with his pyrokinetic abilities.

From afar you’ve always admired the swirls that decorated his skin whenever you got amped up, and this time was no different. “I see you’re already using “Flaming Ink” what, you already scared?” Ogun widened his stance, glowing white eyes watching you shift your feet. “I’ve been working on a new move that I want to show you so why don’t you try your little fire trick.”

Curious, you scuff your shoe on the floor and draw your fire...only the fire doesn’t come. You do it again and the light goes out just as quick as it came. “What did you do?” You narrowed your eyes at Ogun. “Oh nothing, I’m just faster than you now.” You take a few steps back, “Oh that’s how you want to play it? Okay!” You take off running at the very edge of the field and Ogun is fast behind you. Internally you admit that he had gotten much faster, but a simple fact as that wasn’t going to make you lose.

Doing your best to maintain speed, you chug and draw the flames close to your chest out of Montgomery’s line of sight. It was small, mostly snuffed by the kick of your legs as you ran but it was big enough to get the job done. Similar to Ogun in his natural state, you too could throw projectiles just not as damage-inducing.

Turning around as you run, your eyes widen when Ogun appears just inches in front of you, “Surprise!” Your flame is snuffed and you tumble bringing Montgomery down with you. You prepare to feel your body be crushed by his muscled one but at the last minute your shoulders are grabbed and you flip again. The change in elevation causes you to lose a bit of focus, but you can still clearly feel Ogun cushion your fall.

“Oh wow, this looks like something out of an anime.” Ogun laughs when he finds himself lying flat on his back, you positioned comfortably on top of him. The position was completely ridiculous with your thighs straddling his stomach but you were thankful that you wouldn’t be in any sort of pain later.

“Looks like I’ll need to train harder huh?” You playfully punch Ogun’s shoulder. Even though the whole ordeal only lasted 6 minutes, you could feel your back drenched with sweat. While you couldn’t wait to get in the shower, Ogun seemed content with being in a salty state. “You’re dripping all over me you know?” Your head immediately snapped down to look at Ogun with wide eyes, “Excuse me?”

Ogun had a neutral look on his face not hinting at any humor behind his words. “You’re sweating really bad. Did little ole me get you all worked up?” He had to be teasing you at this point, but you couldn’t find a single crack in his facade. “Yeah well, maybe if you didn’t choose this big ass field with no trees I wouldn’t be 2 seconds from passing out.” You stand up, a bit wobbly, and help him up. “I’m going to go shower, you can stay out here if you want to.”

Ogun happily joins you on the way to the showers. You could hear his excitement from finally beating you. “Don’t get cocky, it was a one-time occurrence Ogun.” An arm is slung over your shoulder. In a smug tone, Ogun mocks you, “Don’t be mad cause you lost. You’ve had enough time to be cocky on your own terms.” You gasp mockingly before turning your head to spit back a remark but lose your breath from how close his face is to yours. At such close proximity, you become aware of small details. How his skin shinned in the sunlight, how Oguns eyes contained such a very specific hue of orange that they mimicked the fire of Sol almost precisely. You even wouldn’t be surprised if they would burn to the touch.

“What’s the matter, got nothing to say?” Out of instinct, you shove his head away with so much force he goes flying before landing on his ass. Before any questions are asked you deflect, “Gross I got your B.O all on my shoulders.” From behind Ogun scoffs, “How dare you, any other fine lady would be blessed to be near my manly musk.” Stifling a laugh you utter one final tease before slipping into the girl’s shower, “Yeah, manly must.”

It was endless labor as your captain followed you around, blowing that damn whistle. Given laundry duty, you had to take multiple shifts back and forth throughout each level of the building to collect everyone’s clothing. When you came across Ogun’s level your job was hindered as you were forced to wait as he sifts through his piles of dirty laundry, “Trush me Y/n, there’s a shirt that I accidentally put in here but it’s actually clean.” “Ogun if it’s in the dirty clothes then it’s dirty.” You try to haul his stuff out but he stops you. “I swear if you don’t move I’ll burn your stuff.”

Ogun chuckles, “You burn my clothes and it’ll catch your clothing as well.” Ogun reaches inside the pile you held pulling out a blank white T-shirt that looked annoyingly similar to the 12 other T-shirts you had watched him toss to the side. “Unless of course, you’re trying to go streaking which by all means I encourage you to.” You ignore his joke and pretend it doesn’t strike a certain feeling in your gut.

For your next task, you had to prepare different levels of activities for a group of 5th graders coming to the company the next day. Of course, Ogun would be assigned to the same task as well so while you worked diligently to bring equipment from the storage room, Ogun spent his time using each of the items incorrectly. “Please stop bouncing the footballs with the tennis racket before you get hurt.” Ogun ignored you as he dribbled with the racket. “Don’t be mad cause you’re not as creative as me.”

Well, as you predicted Ogun ends up getting punted in the face when he tries to toss the football in the hoop. Even though the sound it made on impact was loud and hollow, Ogun barely flinches when it ricochets. “Wow you seem pretty experienced with getting hit in the face with balls, you barely moved.” Ogun glared as he watched you pick up the football. Absentmindedly you spin the football as you speak, “You know if I didn’t know any bet-” Your speech is gargled when your mouth becomes stuffed.

While you weren’t watching Ogun through a basketball at your hand making you push the end of the football in your mouth. “Wow you seem pretty experienced with balls in your mouth, you gotta show me some time.” You cradle your mouth, it throbbed with dull pain and resentment filled your mind. “I’m sure it’ll be easy, there aren’t going to be too many inches stopping me.”

At this point, both your nerves are on high alert, and the energy in the air shifts from playful to angry. “Oh yeah?” Ogun walks slowly and calmly towards you, raising a brow when you stumble back yet still maintain your glare. The hand cradling your jaw is held tightly in his grasp, “Would you like to try?” The dare only eggs you on, “You won’t last a second.” The faint twitch of his temple lets you know you hit a nerve.

*Wheeeeze*

Both you and Ogun’s heads snap to the left. Pan stood at the gym doorway arms waving and whistle blowing, a clear attempt at reprimanding your laziness. The playful aura comes back and you and Ogun are subjected to extra work for your negligence. “This is your fault you know.” he shoots back, “I don’t want to hear it Montgomery.”

Ogun walked down the hallway in search of a new victim to torture, so it was only pure convenience when he stumbled near your living quarters and caught you just before you walked inside. “Y/n! You were absent for dinner.” You take one look at him before dashing into your room. All you wanted was to sleep, training with Ogun, and then having to complete your own set of chores plus extra was tiering. So seeing Ogun wandering out and about during the late hours only met trouble.

You jolt from your train of thought as your door is banged on. “Go away Montgomery, I’m trying to sleep.” Ogun whined, “Well you weren’t trying too hard cause you weren’t in your room yet, now let me in.” You kicked the door back, “No, now go away!”

No sound is heard, not even a shuffle. Sighing you walk towards your bed with a content smile, you’d apologize to him later but now it was your time for rest. Heavy wind billowed through your opened window making you shiver as the curtains tickle your skin. The sharp coolness made your teeth rattle but it was just the right amount of cool you needed in order to head off quickly to dream land. Turning the dial of your lamp, your room is shrouded in darkness and you climb underneath the covers. Nothing could stop the relaxation you were about to receive…….nothing but the feeling of “something ain’t right.”

Opening your eyes and expecting the worse, you are then greeted with the worst as the same fiery eyes you admired hours before, hovered above your face. “You should really close your window.” You scream and throw a punch in Oguns direction but it is in vain as he catches it and pins it down. “I should really get you back for doing that earlier.” Ogun doesn’t make any move to let you go or even speak again. “How the hell did you get there so fast?” You are unable to look away from his eyes, nothing else would have mattered anyway.

More wind blows through your curtains. “I told you I’ve gotten faster.” You can feel his breath caressing your cheek the closer he gets to your face. The hand wrapped around your wrist tightens despite your body being slackened. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah”

No one knows who moved first. All you know is that your pajamas were being ripped off of your body as Ogun aggressively devoured your lips. Tossing everything to the ground, Ogun sits above you, with his shirt was off, you are given the liberty to admire his chiseled body. Ogun makes quick work with fingering you open, watching with a toothy grin as your chest shakes and your breath stutters. “Not talking much now are you?” He doesn’t care if you respond, all he cares about is wearing you down. You pull him closer, nails dragging down his back, as your orgasm overwhelms you. “Ogun!” Your legs are hiked up and over his shoulders as he positions below you.

“Good job, I don’t want to hear anything else but my name.” The stretch was burning and filled you tightly. “How many inches you think that is?” You weakly slap Ogun’s arm as he weakly ruts into you before pulling out completely, “S-Stop making fun of me.” “ Aww, but it’s fun!” Ogun is slow and precise as he mashes his hips forward. There is no hesitation and the pace stays at a fluid toe-curling pressure. “You’re so silent now Y/n. Tell me, how does it feel, huh?” Your back raises from off the bed, “It...good-I oh god!”

The simple fact that you couldn’t speak sent tremors to Oguns cock. He wanted to tease you more, make you break. Your pussy was wet and sopping for him and not even Sol could make him stop fucking you, not when you looked so beautiful underneath him. But a mischievous streak doesn’t go away that easy.

Leaning back on his haunches, you are put back on top of Ogun, the same position you were in when on the feild. He doesn’t move and just looks at you, “What are, what are you doing?” You try to bounce but he holds you down making you pulse around him. “Please let me move.” But he doesn’t, the only movement you get is when you’re held down harder on his cock. “How many inches Y/n?” You shrug, “I don’t freaking know like 5 or something!?” You just wanted to cum not answer a random questionnaire.

Ogun uses his strength to lift you up and slam you back down. “Wrong, try again.” It takes a moment for you to catch the breath that got knocked out at the second stroke. “Do you really want me to stroke your stupid ego, fine 8inches!” You are slammed down again and this time it hits a special spot just short of your G. “Wrong again, don’t be a smart ass Y/n” He rubbed your side. “Come on, play my game for a little bit, don’t you want to cum on my dick?” Oguns hands squeeze your breasts, thumbs rotating the dark circles of your areolas leaving your nipples to tingle in need.

“Si-Six damn it! It has to be like 6.” your answer is mumbled but is loud enough to satisfy Ogun. As if you weighed nothing less than a piece of paper, Ogun uses his thighs to bounce you on his cock. Your chest bounces in his face taking his immature mind to cloud nine. He could feel the tell tell sign of his own orgasms cumming, as your ass slammed down on his shaft. “Stop squeezing down so damn hard!”

Being the person you are, you don’t listen even after you feel Ogun spill inside of you. “Oh fuck!” You rearrange your own legs and start bouncing at your own pace. The tight grip on your waist means nothing as you chase your second cumming. “Hurry up you little shit my balls are burning!” Ogun tossed his head back as his mouth releases cracked moans. His cock continued to twitch as it became softer but still stimulated. Soon, Ogun couldn’t take the stimuli anymore and pushes you down on the bed. The feeling of his fingers thrusting in and out of your pussy was a little less satisfying than his cock but you cream around it just as easily.

You lay down giggling while Ogun goes in and out of sleep. “I was right, you didn’t last a second.” “Shut the hell up, you’re like a vice.” Your sweaty state somehow doesn’t bother you as you rest in the afterglow. Your blinds continue to shimmer as the wind continues to blow. “Five and a half.” The numbers mean nothing to your muddled brain, “What?” Ogun looks at you, “5 and a half inches is the correct answer but I appreciate the 6.”

Suddenly the glow was no longer worth it.

#ogun x reader #ogun smut #fire force smut #anime smut #poc reader

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intotherumiverse · 3 years

Note

ship your moots !!

I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE!! TURN IT UP

I got everyone of my mooties in clutch <3 p = platonic

Edit = this is so long I can’t. I have everyone that are my mooties (or I think that are my mooties) and I hope y’all like ‘em. They took so MF long

@katsumiiii + aomine daiki — cocky girlfriend with even cockier boyfriend. They’re playful banter is god-teir and for what? Daiki tries so hard for mira and she just plays it off. @katsukissy + bakugou katsuki — it’s >:) + >:/ moxie is such a menace to society and Bakugou is just taking it. plus they’d be such a power couple I can’t @koishiguro / @lvrgrlkoi + kise ryota — but like whipped boyfriend + “I don’t give two shits ‘bout your little fan club” girlfriend. kise tries so fucking hard for koi’s attention it’s funny. and she’s just 🤨 you done the entire time. @artof-apollo + p! denki kamanari — they the 2 pretty best friend. They are also crackhead x crackhea, with rare smart boy moments <3 @spike-this-ass + gojo satoru — dumb himbo boyfriend with secret smart partner <3. They’re the 🙄 +🤨. Gojo getting into the dumbest shit ever and Sunni’s just like “okayyyy? Tf you want me to do about it?” @myhoodacademia + power — cocky gf + cocky gf. Dee’s just like “I know you love me and power refuses to acknowledge the hint of the fact. But anyone else look at dee, she’s drop kicking someone

@lilsparkyswife + armin arlert — himbo + bf who tries to keep himbo safe. Von’s getting into the dumbest shit ever and armin’s just there like “ 🤨 didn’t I tell you fighting eren is never a good idea?” @katsuflossy + shiggy — I mean I guess he loves her. With them puppy dog eyes he makes everytime he want sum it has to be love. Ni on the other hand is just like 😐 tf you want now?

@noirstoxin + p! itadori — “yo ita. Try feeding sukuna hot sauce and see what happens” enough said.

@solar3lunar + megumi — quiet kids in the library vibes (even though nova isn’t really quiet per say) but megumi loves he and her antics. Would take on cafe date

@minruko + mirio togata — them nigh as would be so loud together I can hear it from here. Mini’s just daring Mirio the stupidest shit and Mirio’s like “okay!! I’ll do it for you <3”

@combat-wombatus + kirishima ejiro — soft gf + even softer bf <3. They are so sweet to everyone around them it’s crazy. Also parent couple me thinks!

@yuujisbby + itadori yuuji — dumb bf + smart gf. Ita’s doing the dumbest shit to impress Sasha and sash is trying to not let himself get himself killed by not letting him do the dumb shit

@bubblime + sukuna — it’s just overexcited gf + tired bf. Bubs is always down for anything and sukuna is the tried boyfriend telling her to come take a nap with him

@silkylious + shoto todoroki — analyst couple ; y’all can’t do anything around them unless you want to be roasted in the most blunt way. Just “is that why you make your daddy issues your whole personality? 😐”

@mypimpademia + taiga kagami — OKAY HEAR ME OUT BUT juice and taiga would make sense. Over excited bf with bf who’s seen it all. Will hit him if he over worked himself. also matching necklaces??? Yes.

@kunikida-kun + keigo tamaki — show off bf + ion care gf. He tries soooo mf hard just for rei to give him a blank stare and continue on with her day. @whipped-cream-writings + bokuto. Softest couple ever. Matching jersey hoodie and cafe dates before practice. @dragonsdreamoffire + shinra (fire force) — himbo + soft girl <3. Shinra loves dream with his soul and never leaves a mission without giving her a kiss @fatgumshoneybun + joker (fire force) — cocky bf with confused/shy partner. He tries so hard with princess and they’re either too confused or sleepy to make head or tails about it. They have the most amazing cuddle seshs though.

@tobi-momo + kageyama tobio — they’d be perfect together. Do doubt. kags always a stuttering mess when momo is in a 5 mile radius of him and it’s so cute I can’t

@angiebug101 + kirishima ejiro — himbo +even bigger himbo. They sound like they‘re on drugs half the time but they love each other. Always taking photos together.

@xetou + aki (chainsaw man) — she broke through him and now he’s stuck with her for life. He doesn’t even know how or when they got together in the first place. Xetou just popped up

@vilbabywritess + bakugou — angry boy with angrier girl. Vil will not hesitate to fuck Bakugou up but they in love I guess.

@lvvrboy + denji (chainsaw man) — seven will fuck over Denji so much he has to fall in love with him. The himbo is so clingy for him is terrifying

@sanemiya + sanemi — angry boy + soft girl. They are legit the “I hate everyone but you” trope and it’s so cute. Miya the only one he listens too with no doubt

@moonlit-xio + p! Denki — it’s the way he’d bully her with love for me. But they would scrap in the streets for some griot no doubt

@kazescartier + genos (opm) — confused bf with chaotic gf. With kaze’s high paced energy she needs someone to mellow her tf out. Genos <3 @myamuraaa + Shindou (Bnha) —flustered sim is the only way to go and shindou has no restraints with that. Also they would come through with the matching fits . @sassi-sunflower + p! Mina — the most chaotic pair ever and I’d love it so much <3

@mads-fairy + kenma — loud gf + quiet bf. Kenma is always so confused on how Maddie has so much energy while after talking to one person he’s drained. But he knows how to settle maddie down

@oikawaplssteponme + hanta sero — they are so flirty and lovey to each other it’s disgusting. They’re are always touching in some way shape or form and kisses are frequent with them

@sobaluvr / @katsupremacy + hitoshi Shinsou — :| + >:) Shinsou is so tired of theo’s antics it hilarious. But like the banter and funny quips? Hand them over to me now!

@fuckasslesbian + p! Bakugou — they’re are menaces to societ when put together. Enough said

@reject-human-return-to-elefante + tenya iida — >:) + :^). They’re a really good match, the right mix of chaos and sameness?? Tenya is so calming for Bat it’s insane. @tododekukisses / @tomiokariceballs + Metal bat — angy couple. They fits? Immaculate ✨✨✨. Will fuck up anyone and everyone. @hvnlymha + shoto todoroki — soft couple ever. They are so cute with each other. Soft kisses and rain shower dates

@miashimaa + denki — the most chaotic, off the hinge, high as fuck couple ever. It‘s a walking dumpster fire and they love it. @vodrea + Reo Mikage — Drea is a clingy mess and Reo loves it. They are so cute together and it’s full of loving looks and kisses @cloudytamaki + tamaki (Bnha) — soft nervous couple. Picnic dates, and late night star watching for them <3 @izukulus + izuku midoriya — match made in heaven. the cottagecore vibes in this are amazing, and they’re so MF cute I can’t @kozumeslove / @kozu-zumi + kenma — soft gf and soft boy >:3. Cat cafe and roller skating dates galore <3 @morosis-haze + neito monoma — asshole + snarky gf. They’d be at each others throat’s 25/8 and it’s so funny to watch it @cubbluv + Mirio — he’s so softtt??? And for what??? Sorry but they’d be a top tier couple @r0manz + yui (Bnha ; class 1b) — it’s legit 😩 + 😐. Roman simps so hard and yui doesn’t know how to react to it. She’s really soft and hate when Roman flirts with anyone else @izukxnnie + Tamaki amajiki — they’d be so cute together. Love letter in lockers and holding pinkies in the hallways omg @rosetheshapeshifter + Bakugou — rose is drop kicking this MF ever, punting him across the fields and having a smaller the entire time @ickyjiki + dabi — the “I hate everyone but you“ trope on clutch with them two. His gaze is softer around Juno and she loves it <3 @ryuvanaka + denki — friends to lovers trope? Denki is so whipped for yves I can’t. Denki just fizzled out whenever they’re near it’s crazy. @shotos-noodles / @kuroos-ramen + kuroo — the science flirt jokes he would use to try and bag zay. And she’s laughing at his nerdy self. Best couple I say @asaincy + Shoji — Shoji is so nervous around quincy it’s insane. He tries to flirt but it’s so funny. But quincy is so head over heels for him it doesn’t matter. @dollops-of-delusion + Izuku — Analyst power couple. Delusion knows so much it’s insane and paired with Izu? Off the walls

#Anonymous #—rumitalks #this took a lot longer than i thought it would

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incorrectsmashbrosquotes · 3 years

Text

The Smashers Return to Garreg Mach - 1

*After a time away the Smashers decide to return to Fodlan’s premiere educational facility much to Seteth’s, and his liver’s, chagrin. What antics will our Smashers get up to? Will anyone come out sane?*

*Ganondorf, Joker, Captain Falcon and Chara are being led down the halls of Abyss beneath the monastery by Hapi*

Ganondorf: Ah yes, the sewers. Always the best location for a family outing. The rats and poop are nice. And look, there’s a rat riding a piece of poop. Delightful.

Hapi: You didn’t have to come dad.

Chara: Feh, good luck keeping the old man away. He feels real bad about some of the shit you went through.

Ganondorf: CHARA!

Chara: Pops talks when he’s drunk.

Captain Falcon: ‘Sides, you know pops, he’s only happy when he’s complaining.

*Ganondorf crosses his arms and grumbles to himself*

Joker: Well, I for one am interested in meeting your Found Family. They seem like real character.

Hapi: Oh... yeah... they’re, uh... real characters alright.

??? and ???: HAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIII!

Hapi: Oh dear Goddess.

*Constance and Balthus explode into the room wrapping Hapi in tight hugs*

Constance: HAPI, DEAREST, WE WERE TERRIFIED FOR YOU!

Balthus: ARE THESE THE LOSERS WHO KIDNAPPED YOU?! I’LL BEAT E’M TO A PULP!

Hapi: GUYS! CALM YOUR TITS! This is my biological family.

*there is a moment of stunned silence*

Constance: I- I beg your pardon?!

Hapi: Yup. Meet my half-brothers Captain Falcon and Joker, my adopted sibling Chara, and my biological dad Ganondorf: the King of Evil.

Balthus: Holy shit... bro! You’re jacked!

Captain Falcon: Indeed! How many reps are YOU at my brother?!

*they begin to have a flex-off a-la Fullmetal Alchemist*

Constance: King... Hapi’s father... HAPI! You mean to tell me that you are ROYALTY!?

Hapi: That’s the part you focus on?! Not the “Of Evil”, part?!

Constance: SEMANTICS! Oh, Hapi, dearest, we must teach you proper royal etiquette! Your manners are no longer passable!

Hapi: Oh Goddess, please kill me.

Ganondorf: Ah, this is actually going to be entertaining!

Hapi: Not helping dad!

Chara: Oi, lay off her ya crazy blonde!

Constance: Excuse me, tiny gremlin creature, but my dearest, darlingest Hapi is in need of my attention!

Chara, whipping out their knife: SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR KNEECAPS BITCH!

*Yuri enters*

Yuri: What the Hell is all this noise- *locks eyes with Joker*

Yuri: ...

Joker: ...

Yuri: ... ... ...Clothes supplier. Now.

Joker: Hair care products. Now.

Hapi: Dad. Seriously... just... punt me into the sun.

Ganondorf: I believe there is a lesson here about “building character”.

*in the cathedral itself*

Sephiroth: Hmm, the construction is primitive but passable. I give it a 3/10.

Bowser: Do you have any setting other than douche?

Sephiroth: I think we both know that I do not.

*Rhea and Seteth enter, arguing with Palutena:

Rhea: Grandmother, I don’t know why you allow these hooligans to return here! This is supposed to be a holy place!

Palutena: Oh, loosen up a little granddaughter! You could use some fun around here.

Seteth: At least keep them out of the cathedral.

Rhea: I agree. It is much too-

*Rhea sees Sephiroth*

Rhea: *hearts appear in her eyes as Carless Whisper played on lute starts to be heard*

Seteth: Rhea... Rhea no!

Palutena: Rhea yes! Go for it girl!

Sephiroth: I just felt a cold chill go up my spine.

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baal-pit · 2 years

Text

Finished Arcane! Some thoughts under the cut (spoilers for Act III obviously):

I’m not dissatisfied with this ending! I think that even though the story is obviously not finished, that’s a different thing from being incomplete.

I think Arcane is really interesting as A Tragedy. There’s this recurring theme of people’s personal obsessions and self-interests, like...underlying everything they do, good or bad. Maybe that’s just how having characters with clear motivations works lol, but I thought it was executed in a thought-provoking way.

I think that Jinx’s mental illness was handled in a kind of cringe way, but it’s mitigated by the fact that she does actually have semi-coherent motivations outside of “heehee hoohoo i’m the Joker.” That desire for approval or even just acceptance, that never really went away - I find Jinx a very relatable character, in a real way, in the way that her attempts (homicidal and cruel as they may be) to feel secure in her place in other peoples’ lives have backfired, leading her to the same ultimate conclusion that Silco did - that to survive in the face of events that annihilate your world and your understanding of yourself, you have to change, to become simultaneously something other than yourself and something that you were all along. You have to cut away whatever part of you the world was still capable of hurting. It makes sense to me, fundamentally, that what Jinx eventually settles on is that she is a destructive, nihilistic force, hurting everyone and everything around her with every move she makes - because being that doesn’t require anything from her that puts her at risk, emotionally. If everything you do hurts someone, then you have to stop caring that other people get hurt. It’s the only way to survive.

I do wonder how Jinx killing Caitlyn’s mom is going to complicate Caitlyn and Vi’s relationship lol

There were too many ways that Act III was a satisfying recapitulation of/response to Act I for me to enumerate without this post being a million words long. I loved how Vander and Silco’s arcs mirrored each other. I loved that Sevika acknowledged and validated Silco’s paternal relationship with Jinx even though she didn’t like or trust her, and that she chose to back Silco in the ways she did. I hope that we see more of her going forward.

Viktor getting his assistant killed and then covering it up was, I thought, really interesting (not wild about how many WoC this show has already killed for white manpain tho), especially in light of his subsequent convo with Jayce about “we were so invested in doing great, that we forgot to do good” which was obviously like a direct response to what he’d done. Asking Jayce to destroy the Hexcore, which he’s obviously going to punt on, was chef kiss emoji.

I’m really not wild about the “disability cure” narrative and how Viktor was punished by the narrative for not just laying down and accepting his death like the subhuman filth he is. That was ableist and gross, pure and simple. I get that it was making a point about how desperate people do desperate things, which is the broader thesis of Zaun as a whole, but still.

I thought that Vi’s response to Jayce killing that kid at the shimmer refinery was actually about the best thing she could have said in that situation. There was a cursory nod to like, lesser-of-two-evils-ism, but she was like “yeah fuck that kid, he was my enemy, i don’t give a shit that he’s fourteen, he’s not a human being. in fact, none of the hundreds of dead kids just like him were human beings either, to you up there in Piltover, so why are you acting so fucking shocked about this. this is the game we are playing. you don’t get to have it both ways.” It manages to like...simultaneously illustrate that there’s a bigger moral and systemic issue here, and make it clear that Vi’s motivations are first and foremost her personal vendetta against Silco and desire to regain control of Jinx. It also illustrates that Vi is a vigilante, a paramilitary killer pursuing her own agenda, that the state (Piltover) tacitly accepts because her violence advances their own agenda. I’m interested to see what the relationship between her and Caitlyn looks like going forwards.

Anyway, despite Act III being the weakest act imo, I still felt like this was a satisfactory conclusion and some really remarkable television. If future Runeterra storytelling is going to be of this calibre, then I’m excited.

#Arcane #arcane meta #long post

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praphit · 3 years

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WandaVision: When you can’t let go of that robo-lovin.

So, I just finished watching "WandaVision", and I must say, right off the bat

- I LOVED IT!

Disney Plus is finally paying off. I'm in the group of peeps who got DP, not for the mouse, but for the ones whom the mouse is in bed with, and most recently on Mickey's playtime Marvel List - Wanda Maximoff and her robo-boy toy VISION... or is that “THE Vision”? - that seems kinda ostentatious, but whatever.

When I first heard that Wanda was getting a series, I said "Who cares?" I don't care bout no Wanda! What has she been other than a weird pest?

Let's review:

She tried to kill the Avengers, she accidentally injures and kills innocent people, she was getting in the way, so Tony Stark had to get his CPU (Vision) to babysit her, she falls in love with the CPU - can we talk about how strange this is? I didn't say wrong, just different, cuz honestly, we may be headed there soon. That movie "Her" might be a reality with how tech is going these days.

But, imagine I come to your home and fall in love with your laptop (which messes everything up for you with all your devices and your social media), THEN (as Wanda did with Vision), I run off on some romantic journey with all of your devices. Imagine how Tony would have felt, if he was still with us.

She had one job when it came to Thanos, and it ended up not mattering.

Then, went full rage on the wrong Thanos.

Idk if that’s a look (Thanos) pain, release, of he’s listening to his jam. Kinda looks like he’s saying “JESUS”. But, Wanda is pissed.

Wanda: "You took everything from me!"

Thanos: "Lady, I don't even know you!"

I didn't care about Wanda. But, damn, Marvel is so good that in one episode they made me care; one trailer, really.

If you had not seen the trailer for this series, you might be confused by the first episode.

You might even ask yourself - "What the bleep is this nonsense?!" We want heroes vs villains. We want super-powered explosions. We want capes, ridiculously tight clothes, bulky armor, and anything else that makes no sense to fight in.

You're giving me "Bewitched"?

I DID see the trailer, so I knew going in that it would be a slow burn with some nostalgia, some quirks, and some eeriness; right up my alley.

The change in Tv decade styles btw *chef kiss*

I figured that they'd be trapped in some mysterious, magical world - which they are...

Unless you're super geeky with the funny books, there's no way you'll see what's coming in this mystery.

And it IS a mystery, not only to the audience, but for the characters involved in this show. Don't nobody know what the hell is going on.

But, LaWanda and Vishawn

(sorry, I just wanted to use this pic - Ha! Y'all are crazy.)had help figuring things out:

Rambo

Yeah, it's actually Monica Rambeau,

but... admit it, some of you kept thinking about Rambo too, right?? No offense to this actress, but I'd rather see old man Sly play Rambo, and HIM be in this mysterious WandaVision town. Let's get Disney a lil bloody. Wishful thinking, I suppose.

Marvel WILL BE venturing into multiple universes soon, so perhaps Rambo finds his way to team up with The Punisher? Huh?? YEAH!

But, no... Rambeau (meh No personality, but whatever).

Randall Park -

He's that person we all know who has made us laugh so much in life, that they don't even need to say anything anymore; you look at them and laugh. I love this dude!

Kat Dennings -

I remember liking her more in the Thor movies. I found her annoying, this time around. She joins the mystery to figure tech stuff out, and she's a doctor or something (don't you forget it!). She also asks the team she just meets to get her some coffee, and acts like they're disrespecting HER, by their lack of response. I know she's a doctor and all, but damn! Imagine some electrician comes to your place to serve YOU, they're condescending to you, and then they ask you for some coffee. Get the hell outta here!

Oh, and there's a dude named “Director Dick”. That's my name for him, but the name fits.

The people in this town are acting out as if they've been scripted for some show. And all of these characters, AND US, get to figure it out together - through antics from different times in Tv culture.

Times sure were different back in the day:

No social justice issues implanted or cursing or sex or drugs... now, I'm not saying it was a better time, just a different one :) A time when dad jokes ruled! Simple times! Ignorance was bliss. But, it kinda wasn't - not really.

It's like having an animal die on your property somewhere, and it starts to stink. You COULD find the truth of the stench... or light candles everywhere. Some really strong candles - maybe some of those Gwyneth Paltrow candles.

Though the stench might get covered up, the problem is still there. At some point, your kids could find the dead rotting animal... maybe start playing with it... you get the point.

In this show, the townspeople's minds have been taken over by someone or something, and it's torturous for them. So... bliss on the surface, but... not so much, going deeper. I tell you all of this, plus great production in each epi, a good slow-burn mystery, and fun with comic characters in a way we haven't seen before on screen, and hell yeah - Grade: A series.

Now... spoilers.

You might want to leave now.

People, Wanda is the villain here. I'm not sure if that's the message the writers are trying to convey or not, but I don't care; she is the clear villain here.

Here’s Wanda reading some Hell book, conjuring some dark spirits - nbd.

We are rooting for her throughout this show; even after we find out that she has been (even if not maliciously) controlling every one, we still root for her.

I'm not saying that's bad, but we can't forget about what she has done! Remember, I said that the mind control was torturous for the townspeople.

There's a very emotional moment at the end of this series between Wanda and Vision, and between them and their kids (yeah, they have kids... that's a whole other thing). This moment is well done and touching. There's even a bad ass fight between Wanda and the "true... villain"? - of this story. I'll get to her in a sec (There’s a badass Vision fight scene as well).

I loved all of that! But, at the end of the day...

I know Wanda is grieving and all, we all grieve, but we all don't, in our grief, take a whole town hostage, torture the people, all while playing house with our family. That's kinda sick, no??

Are we doing a girl-power thing? or a “witches are people too” thing? or “but she’s doing it all for her family” thing (yeah, they’re not actually real, but whatever)? I don’t know.

I'm not sure that we know what a villain is anymore. It used to be clear - the guy with the beard was the bad guy, or the guy wearing the black outfit was the bad guy, or the people who aren't Americans are the bad guys :)

But, movies like "Joker" and "Deadpool" and Harley's joint have confused some.

Who else would be the villain? There's a character, the villain (i guess), a witch named Agatha Harkness, played by Kathryn Hahn

Here she is saying “I’m the villain? Really? What about her?!!”

- she's excellent btw; def the highlight of this show; her and Paul Bettany's hair game.

But, let's compare:

Agatha:

betrays her coven back in the day, sure, but why you bringing up old shit?

She allows Wanda to play out this fantasy for a while, and even played along. She could have just killed her when she was ignorant; that's what I would have done. She eventually shows Wanda the truth (granted, she then wants Wanda's power, but hey, everything has a price. And for all we know, she would have used all of that power to... cure the worlds diseases or something... though prob not:). Annnd maybe she killed an imaginary puppy. Convo for another time: if you kill something that's not real, does it matter??

That's it!

She didn't (like Wanda): abduct a town, torture its people, bring Vision back from the dead (kinda), endanger soldiers who were just doing their jobs, create weird fantasies (And did she have sexy time with previously dead, fake Vision? This thing gets even weirder if she did. But, let's not go down that path.) Oh, and she magically punted a black woman (Rambo) the length of a football field just for her asking Wanda some questions.

When the townspeople finally regain their minds (Lord knows how long it's been), they look at her with disdain, and I don't blame them. And what does Wanda do?? - shrug, put on a hoodie, and fly off - to break into somebody's home and read some devil book.

Where’s cancel culture in this universe?

I know she made us feel, but I ask again, who's the villain here?

Still Grade A stuff for me (again, I loved this!), but c'mon, people.

We get a glimpse of Captain Marvel 2 as well. My fingers are crossed. I actually liked the first movie. But, many others did not, and one of the reasons - Captain Marvel doesn't have much of a personality, and another - she's too powerful (no risk).

So, to answer the critics, we have Monica Rambeau - another ridiculously super-powered hero, with no personality. So, two unrelatable characters flying around in space, as Sam L Jackson tries not to curse. But, if Marvel can make me care about evil ass Wanda, I'll still hold out hope for Capt Marvel 2.

#wandavision #john praphit #praphitproductions.com #wanda maximoff #elizabeth olsen #paul bettany #praphit #bewitched #disney #Marvel Comics #Movie Reviews #comicbooks #cancel culture #witchcraft #kathryn hahn #rambo #captain marvel 2 #action #mystery

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