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look-how-they-massacred-them · 7 months

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Submission reason:

He was set up to be a main character in the first film of the sequel trilogy, and then sidelined more and more as it went on in favour of focussing on trying to make Kylo fucking Ren sympathetic. Finn had an interesting backstory that should have affected how everyone interacted with other Stormtroopers, but nothing came of it, no exploration that maybe the people they were killing were each their own person, or how many of them also would have run away given the chance, and just hadn't worked up the courage to do it yet. Him being force sensitive barely got mentioned after episode 7! He deserved a showdown with Kylo Ren and to kick his ass! Also on a meta note John Boyega was done dirty and he knows it!

Completely and aggressively sidelined despite having very clear set-up in the first movie to the point the actor spoke up about the transparent racism behind his and the character's treatment.

They were stripped of everything that made them interesting and turned into comic relief.

Tell me how we went from Black Jedi posters ahead of the first movie to ""went on a racist site plot of oggling at a casino"" in the second.

They set up a great narrative arc and then didn’t do SHIT with it

Finn was a character with so much potential! The first movie set him up to be so interesting! A former stormtrooper who had defected and was now working with the resistance? That's a great concept! And in both the marketing and throughout the first movie you could tell this was an important character! He and Rey were both the main characters. Fast forward to the last movie though and what did they do with this amazing character? Completely sidelined him! They brushed him aside as much as they possibly could. Did they have some interesting character moments or growth related to his stormtrooper past? Nope! It's never mentioned! Do they set him up to do something cool with his newfound force powers? Nope! It's barely mentioned! Do they have him and Rey get together after clearly setting them up as the main couple of the sequel series? Nope! Instead, Rey kisses a white man who is a fascist! Can they at least have him and Poe become canon after both actors were clearly rooting for it and they had so much chemistry? Nope! Because Disney are cowards and we can't have gay people in Star Wars! Do they do literally anything with his character? They have him running around chasing Rey and yelling her name a bunch. It's an absolute disgrace. Even the actor, John Boyega, has talked about how awful it was for him to have this character completely brushed aside. And all because Disney and a certain subset of Star Wars fans are racists. I will forever be mad about this.

He was hinted to have a great backstory, only to get demoted to a glorified side character in favor of Rey

Set up to be a main character and then was constantly relegated to the background and less and less time in the movies he was on the poster.

the first black character to be in promos and marketing as one of the leads - and then he gets sidelined again and again. he’s such a lovely guy and also so cool. he didn’t deserve this.

Among many others, they forgot his character motivations from the first film of wanting help people in general so they could pretend to make him having higher motivations a character arc.

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy His character had so much potential! He gave a human face to stormtroopers! I know Rise of Skywalker screwed over everybody, and TO BE FAIR after having a few plot elements spoiled I decided fuck it, not watching that, but there was an OBVIOUS way to wrap up his arc by inciting a stormtrooper rebellion WHICH WOULD HAVE BEEN USED IF THEY KEPT THE TREVORROW SCRIPT but instead you get the human face of stormtroopers just casually killing stormtroopers EVEN THOUGH HIS ENTIRE POINT IS THAT HE WASN’T COMFORTABLE WITH KILLING FUCK YOU J J ABRAMS I DID NOT THINK ANYONE COULD MAKE ME QUIT CARING ABOUT STAR WARS BHT CONGRUATILARIONS YOU DID IT GOOD JPB PLEASE NEVER DO ANYTHING AGAON.

Propaganda:

LITERALLY he's the Luke parallel he's the looking at the sky before the republic was destroyed ""I sense a great disturbance in the force like a billion souls crying out"" he's finding freedom from a life of indoctrination and then getting his ass the hell out of dodge and then STILL joining the fight when he was well within his right to leave okay he's like this clown is trying to kill me so I'm gonna pick up this lightsaber which wouldn't even work for me if I wasn't force sensitive and kick my emo edgelord ex boss' ASS and PROVE that being a Jedi is like legit my birthright ALL IN THE FIRST MOVIE and then by movie two it was like. Look at this dumb Black man make googly-eyes at a casino like it's a fucking 1920s minstrel cartoon while the white woman macks on a fascist and becomes the main character. How. HOW did we get here.

-deserves a real conclusion -deserves being challenged -deserves real character conflict and development -deserves the world -should’ve been actual rep instead of a tool for queerbaiting -should’ve STAYED the main character, not put aside in favor of sad angry white boy villain

#look how they massacred them poll #look how they massacred my boy #finn star wars #star wars finn #star wars #propaganda post

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mysteriouslybluepirate · 6 months

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hi bestie saw ur post and im kinda curious about this since it's something not a lot of ppl are talking about next to ed's arc and izzy's death and all— what do you think about how they handled stede in the finale? I felt like a lot of the "incompetent wannabe pirate" jokes undermined his progress this season and also him deciding to stay at the inn with ed felt odd as he expressed he wanted to be a pirate and sail the sea. just wondering what other people think about that

[Oct 31, 2023]

Before we get into it, you are allowed to enjoy this show! My past (and next few) responses WILL be negative, but you aren't wrong for agreeing or disagreeing with most posts. Thanks to all the people who have already sent in messages! I can't wait to respond!!

I am an Izzy fan first and foremost, but how a show handles it's protagonist says a LOT about how it handles it' characters overall!

TLDR for this post: In any character-centric media, explore your characters as characters first. Develop your plot around them and their arcs. Don't treat an ensemble cast as faceless props for the story you're trying to tell. Stede's arc is weird because Stede is shoved in places where it feels like he doesn't fit anymore.

Creating a narrative focused on central character conflicts can work. This is how S1 was written. Stede and his actions directly lead to revealing truths of the world that push the plot forward. This worked because I'd argue the strongest part of OFMD overall is its characters. S2 misses out on this strongest aspect by only referencing its characters when it needs something from them.

S1 We went from Stede killing a guy-> The Act of Grace. S2 Stede tells a guy he shouldn't be an idiot and leave behind a calling card -> burning down the Republic of Pirates and killing Izzy. S2 doesn't feel as tied to Stede's arc of growing into a pirate. But Stede isn't the only person this has fucked over.

Each crew member has their role established from S1, we fans know how they work as a family. But in S2 most of the cast can be swapped out interchangeably unless its something that features this side character NICHE (Wee John in drag being good with fabrics, Roach being a cook).

Sadly, by focusing on the larger Zheng vs. Military arc, a story our characters BARELY caused, the audience misses out on potential character development. Instead of our characters facing the consequences of their actions, our favorite side characters are used as faceless narrative tools. This is largely why the crew was abandoned this season unless they had a romantic side plot. Seeing The Revenge sail off in episode 8, it feels like we barely care about them at all anymore.

As seen from @the-buttspie 's comment, even Stede's arc isn't left out of the firing range. His characterization in episode 8 is constantly thrown back and forth between 'Captain doing his best' and 'Village idiot' if the scene needs it.

Analyzing WHY I started to dislike Stede post episode 4 is FASCINATING, and I feel that digging all the way back to the beginning is a smart way to look at his character growth this season.

FRAMING: Stede's early story get's fucked over pacing-wise because his storyline happens side by side to that of Ed/Izzy.

Any dramatic moment is cut short to show just how much the other crew is NOT about to die. Every time I watch S2 with a new person, for episodes 1-3, they'll comment on how much they don't care about Stede's plot. Which is not a thing you'd want for your protagonist in a season of TV that's only 8 episodes long.

Stede goes through a really strong arc from S1 to the start of S2. For the first three episodes of S2, he puts the needs of his crew before the needs of himself. Literally making sure his crew is safe before going down to see Ed's corpse. I genuinely enjoyed how Stede stepped up for his family. How he doesn't blame the Revenge crew for killing Ed, realizing that yes. Ed is the love of his life and also a man who has seriously hurt so many people.

Eps 4-5: From that we see him trying to talk it through with Ed. While both of them aren't telling the whole truth, it's a good start! We're midway through the season, so we should expect things to get fleshed out more soon.

Until Stede decides 'I'm going to bring a man that tortured my family for 80+ days onboard less than 24 hours after my crew voted him off' Yes. Stede loves Ed to a stupid extent, but this starts the trend for Stede to be dangerously selfish this season using his power as captain to overwrite the want of his crew, a habit of his that partially gets Izzy killed.

I really enjoyed Stede in episode 5, and for me, this felt most like the Stede we recognize growing into a real Captain with hints of who he was. I think it says a lot that Stede still misses his layers and silks. That he craves the softness he used to have in the form of that cursed jacket. But as soon as Izzy is like 'you idiot, please listen to them, they will mutiny' Stede gives it up!!!! He's grown. He's listening to Izzy, he's talking with his crew! This episode did the one thing I wish the season did more of, show the reunited crew just living their lives.

This is where Stede stands out, it lets him be a bit more of a leader to the crew. Let him find his groove again. I loved it!!

Now: Killing Ned Low.

Stede choosing to kill Ned Low is the first time Stede killing someone counts. Yes, he burned down the ship French ship. But this is the first time the audience is supposed to care. I think this moment WAS in character and a really important moment for Stede. He chose this. This wasn't up to crew vote, Ned insulted Ed so fuck him, he deserves to die. Ned walks the plank, also referencing historical Bonnet's tendency to do the same thing.

This is where both Ed and Stede make an in-character mistake, having their first time after the rush of 'oh shit, I'm still alive, and I'm hurting and you're here too'. They don't regret their first time, clearly, they both enjoyed it, but both of them can't ignore what fueled it. Stede has had 3 episodes to re-establish himself with his crew, and now has very little time for the rest of the season with them to show off his growth. That's why, after the party, we don't feel like this show is showing off a family anymore. Even when reunited, they barely feel like a united front.

But from this point on, I personally feel that Stede should have toned down the humor a bit and act like he did in episode 3. Well, I'm getting a bit ahead of myself so-

Episode 7: Stede enjoys being popular, following in Ed's footsteps. He holds his ground against Ed, and overall this feels like a natural progression of his arc from episode 5. He knows what he wants in life and Ed not communicating is genuinely frustrating for him. Him being heartbroken and trying to fight Zheng like she's Izzy is one of the few callbacks I feel that works. As it compares a Stede who was supported by his crew, to this Stede who feels totally alone. I loved Stede this episode, only to be disappointed by-

Episode 8:

Where Ed is allowed to have his silly moments in private, I feel that Stede fluctuates between silly and serious WAY too much for us to take him seriously. Stede's response to Ed telling him he loved him being 'I know' also felt off to me.

"You're not a dick, life's a dick" This line is frustrating to me as it's Stede's response to Ed apologizing. Genuinely apologizing for his actions in the previous episode. This could have been a moment for us to feel like Stede and Ed were a united front but Stede's constant joking and not taking shit semi-seriously. Yes. He feels more comfortable around his family which is amazing.

But I can't help but point out how Stede chooses to go along with a plan the rest of the crew doesn't like. What NARRATIVE purpose was there for Stede trying to sell the captain? He has money, clearly. With the loot they still have, and a future alliance with Zheng.

Stede fucks up. His choice a plan that gets Izzy killed. The writers sacrificed Stede being a competent Captain who cares about his crew into what is described as a 'suicide mission' to push Izzy into his rushed death. A disservice to both characters.

ONTO:

Stede abandons piracy

I'm not shocked they did this, not after the other flubs of the episode, but I hate that it wasn't a conversation held between Ed and Stede.

They could cut the stupid joke about Ed being bad at fishing at the beginning and have these two idiots talking about their issues. Maybe establish that, yeah, piracy is a lot, and they deserve to settle down and get to know each other. Even if they return to the sea, this frames it as Ed finally finding peace and Stede getting pulled along, going against his character growth this season.

I'm surprised that they're setting this up now and not at the end of Season 3. Hell, I used to think S3 would be focused on Ed and Stede avoiding/faking their historical deaths. Given all the bullshit they'll have to clean up to wrap up all the loose ends established this season- S3 will be VERY Ed/Stede focused, I think the crew will still be inserted in without care or arc. Characters like Jim and Oluwande will be prioritized as they are in a relationship before our nonromantic characters like Wee John and Frenchie.

Stede and Ed's relationship, the driving force of the plot, still falls flat because after everything it still feels like puppy love. They've spent at most two months in person together, and two weeks in a serious relationship. I don't really feel convinced that they actually love each other. Ed still doesn't know that Stede was kidnapped at the end of S1, or why he struggles to talk about his feelings. Ed still hasn't talked about why he feels he needs to leave piracy, or his issues feeling like he doesn't belong anywhere in life. Their habit of running away the MOMENT things get hard just makes me not care about them.

I blame the size of the Izzy fandom on the fact that if you don't buy into the leads, there's almost nothing left here to sink your teeth into. The moment the show seems like they'll talk about it they hard pivot.

I hope S3ep1 happens after a LONG time jump. I want these fuckers to be snippy like two people snowed into a cabin for months. Sick of each other and bitching back and forth like no tomorrow. S3 is about genuinely breaking down their walls. Until then, I'll stick with Izzy, the Canyon, and his depressing version of this reality.

#stede bonnet #I'm a bit worried this post will reach all the Stede fans directly and they'll feel attacked. Please don't feel that way!#I genuinely enjoyed where he was going until episode 8 where Stede seemed emotionally distant the entire episode #I just wish Stede had more impact to his own central story #ofmd critical #ofmd meta #ofmd season 2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #stede bonnet critical #IDK if thats a tag #stede critical #?#ofmd s2 finale #ofmd s2

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samodivaa · 11 months

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Heeeey ❤️ Would you do an imagine where Y/N is Buckys girlfriend and also part of the team but one time it happens she get accidentally shot by John Walker and nearly dies and Bucky gets furious about that, so Sam has to keep him back from hurting him as well. Then they stay by your side and take care of you. Maybe Sam offers you both to stay in Louisiana with him and Sarah for your recovery and it's just all fluffy ? Hope this is fine 🥰

Inside The Winter Storm

OoOoHhH my Gosh I tried my best I really hope that you like it, let me know OwO MY FIRST REQUEST SHIFBNHFBG

(The Falcon and the Winter Soldier - Episode 5 : Truth) The three of them are fighting John, Bucky manages to catch on of John's wrists, twisting it behind his back, using his weight on it to push him down to his knees. John’s fight-or-flight response activates and he pulls a gun from his leg holster, aiming blindly at Bucky. He quicky shields himself with his metal arm, causing the bullet to ricochets with a little spark off the vibranium and lands in y/n’s chest as she was getting up from the ground to aid Bucky.

Y/n eyes look into face of the evil - John and then at Bucky as he screams in torment and pain, he was not fast enough to catch her fall. The everlasting pain rises as he meets his worst fear. She doesn’t say anything, the need to feel his touch for the last time is greater. Her vision is getting cloudy and Bucky is still cursing and still sobbing as their fate endlessly fall into the power of the universe. Y/n is dying in pain again and again as she hears his long distant cries. Her eyes seem peaceful, but deep inside slowly her soul is fading away. As the world's falling cold, she meets Bucky’s eyes for the last time - looking back at their passing lives, their memories to see…turn back before the dawn of winter. „Bucky I bought you food and more flowers“ the morning light hides the darker days gone by, the sun shining once again across the blazing skies into the room – live goes on, but he is desperately lost in a dream, dissociation fills his days. His ancient life lost it’s peace for the second time – the light in her eyes, taken away by a man in disguise. „He is no longer Captain America… I-“ „So nobody will notice if he dies, right?“ Frantic charge for a need to revenge, a place to hide. Bucky gets up, heading to the door as Sam hugs him, the touch grounding him in reality for a while. „Bucky, she needs us…she needs you here“ He is suffering, burning with rage, so alive yet so soulless. „Jesus, I don’t even need the Winter Soldier for this I will kill him with my bare hands…I will…I will-“ his words bring more pain to the sadness, there is a moment of silence before he lets It all out and Sam doesn’t let go – in pain they find unity. „When she wakes up you will come to Louisiana, you promised her Bucky…she loved it there“

-------------------------------

„Bucky-y“ the room is suddenly full of live, her beautiful eyes just blaze through him, shattering the frozen heart of winter. „We will go to Louisiana…as soon as they discharge you from here“ his sunshine brights up the darkest corners of his mind. Y/n lets a weak smile before falling asleep once again. -------------------------------- „Guys, we need to go to my home country“ y/n is sitting in Bucky’s lap and they pass a bottle of beer to each other, sharing it. „As soon as you recover enough, sunshine“ he says, caressing her face with his flesh fingers. „Bucky, go easy with the princess treatment she is so spoiled already“ Sam laughs, looking at Sarah who nods in agreement. „Cause you were brought back in my life, baby“ If there's one thing that Bucky knows, y/n is his heart and soul and his love will stay till the end of the line.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky imagine #james bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #winter soldier x you #bucky x reader

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woodsfae · 19 days

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Babylon 5 S03E18 Walkabout previous episode - table of contents

Shuuuuut uuuuup Londo. What assurances does Garibaldi have that they won't fire on Centauri vessels with their one single war ship....what assurances have the Narn ever gotten that they won't be wiped out for existing in the Centauri's general vicinity??

Rare W by Michael Garibaldi. A+ way to get out of a conversation with Londo Mollari. I would suppose that Londo has nowhere to go up from here, but I've thought that before and been woefully disappointed.

Lyta Alexander, it's good to see you again! Even on the sad occasion of her trying to find out more about Kosh's death.

Seeing Sheridan just out for a walk and end up staring nose to nose with a Vorlon (?) ship was an effective way to set tone and scale. This is John Sheridan. He's measuring himself against gods.

Swedish meatballs exist in every race…to the Narnuan they're breen. Amazing.

G'Kar thinks the best use for their newly recovered and repaired warships is to protect Babylon 5, because it's the linchpin. What a terrifying linchpin to have! A highly puncturable, thin little steel shell, that has to spin just right, and also not get any holes in it.

Is…Stephen Franklin eating sunflower seeds to keep from doing cocaine?? lmao. unsure where he's meeting up with Garibaldi.

not-Kosh is a diiiiiick. dude. Vorlons have telepathy, and are a higher order species. How on earth is choking the most efficient way of getting the information.

This Vorlon has a much more distinguishable neck than Kosh did. And the voice is different. but the neck thing is kinda unsettling…my mental imagine of an encounter suit is less segmented. I wonder if not-Kosh was designed to be unsettling. Not-Kosh also moves differently, seems more like he's walking than Kosh's hovering glide. Kosh's encounter suit seemed like it was puppeted by an amorphous form. not-Kosh looks like a guy in a suit.

I hadn't remembered Lyta being Kosh's aid, but man is she in an unenviable position right now.

Stephen Franklin is finding himself by watching live performances. So I should hope for us all.

LOVE the war council scene and them all outvoting Sheridan. for real giggled about it.

Caillyn and the newly christened Steve are actually quite cute and I hope she doesn't die ingloriously or get disappeared by black ops or something.

Sheridan's plan definitely isn't foolproof, but it is interesting! Also regarding how Delenn mentioned Lyta's psi rating of 5. Which yes. PsiCorps rated her a 5 and trained her. But they also limited her - and all their telepaths. She's been working with Vorlons for the last few years. And didn't she connect with the Psi underground? They've been innovating. She's got to be a Psi 7 at the least.

Garibaldi lecturing G'Kar - who wanted the ship's captain to go on Sheridan's mission - on the captain choosing not to go. And the whole weird bit about them not knowing how to use their resources wisely….the ones they barely have because they're being genocided actively right now and have lost most of everything they have? It falls very flat for me. No one has lost as much or been put through as much as the Narnuan people.

omg. Steve. Steve. Don't lecture your lady in bed, the first time you've ever been in bed together?? On the day you met?? So not smooth my guy.

Lyta is weak to the Shadows rather than the other way around until she sees in Sheridan's mind that the Shadows killed Kosh. And that gave her an upgrade that lets her cry blood when she does really high powered offensive telepathy.

Four shadows ships have arrived! Ten minutes before they can bring the jump engines back on.

This is our first real look at Minbari telepathy! And it's not as good as Lyta Alexander's! Also, c'mon, the White Star got one all by themselves but the Minbari ship with three times the telepaths and presumably also weapons didn't get even a single one?? At least the Narn got to shine, because merely holding the Shadows still doesn't get any more than an "adequate" from me. The B5 crew is gettin it.

Whoops, bye Cailyn. Stephen Franklin's curse with women strikes again. Also, this answers my question of where he's been this whole time. Babylon 5. He's just been wandering around b5, lmao. Abandoned his life and started wandering. Around the same space station. hah. And his new sweetie has maybe 6-7 months to live. Man, he really doesn't get more than the slightest sparks of happiness, huh.

Oh-ho, one of my theories! Lyta tells not-Kosh that someone (Sheridan) might have a piece of Kosh. *gives self a star*

next!!

#woodsfae b5 #g'kar #john sheridan #lyta alexander #not-Kosh

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nokingsonlyfooles · 7 months

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Head-Wigs and Not Even an Inch

Abigail Thorn made me cry last night.

I mean, I knew this was not outside the realm of possibility. I presumed she would produce a work of stunning artistic beauty and overwhelm my jaded brain with some Profound Meaning. Or, fat chance, maybe she’d trip over something I’d written and tear it to pieces like a hamster going to town on a cardboard tube. Or maybe I’d go back to London, and spill my drink on her shoes in a dark club, and she’d thrash me with a riding crop — that’s slightly more likely than someone with a decent platform noticing my writing, at this point.

But, uh, no. That’s not how it went.

We pay money to get the bonus episodes of Kill James Bond. You should too. In fact, if you don’t, you’ll be lacking some context for this. But most of my work goes out into the void without context, so to hell with it. You can watch a theatrical version of Hedwig and the Angry Inch for free, on YouTube. Or you can probably pirate the film version with a clean conscience, I don’t think any of those performers are seeing much compensation from sales at this point.

We haven’t been listening to the bonus episodes in order. We often try to watch something close to the version of whatever-film they’re doing, and then listen to the episode with context. We’ve heard them mention Hedwig, and it seemed to be a profound, emotional experience. I really wanted to see Hedwig first. Well, we found a Hedwig available for free and we watched it. They tried to update it a bit, and I found that off-putting. A lot of the tropes in play are dated — “#problematic” in some ways, and genuinely hurtful in others. If you’re going to update something like that, you can’t just throw in a reference to Harry Potter and Title 42 and call it good. Preserve it in its original messy form for us, or rewrite the whole thing — if they’ll let you.

The way the actor playing Hedwig moved and sat in her (the character uses she/her and I have no idea about the actor) short skirt bothered me too. She had shorts on underneath, but I don’t think we were supposed to know that yet. “Nobody has ever told this person how they’re supposed to sit in a skirt,” I said to the spouse. Like, it wasn’t even as if she knew and had decided to ignore it. If one were transfeminine, or faking it to get out of East Berlin, someone would’ve mentioned it. “Maybe it’s for the character,” he said. Maybe it was. You could read it that way. But there’s a read on this where transness is artifice, and I don’t like that read very much. I hope that wasn’t what they were going for.

The ending could be read that way too. It’s all very surreal and that has the potential to be read a lot of different ways, but a male (or male-presenting) actor winds up bare-chested in shorts and the female one ends in a wig and a dress and they both seem very happy about it. One could say, “Well! Glad all that gender confusion’s cleared up! Now they’ve stopped pretending to be something they’re not!” I don’t like that the possibility is left open like that. It feels slimy and centrist.

But the music was great and there were some excellent moments and I was eager to hear the whole thing get dissected by some trans folks.

About a half hour into it, they were discussing John Cameron Mitchell, who identified as a gay man at the time and has since refined it to nonbinary with he/him pronouns. Hedwig’s gender is messy — she’s a fictional character written by an enby who was still in egg form, from a time before people were expected to define their transness as binary or nonbinary. Abi acknowledged the nonbinary actor/writer/director, and mentioned that there’s a lot of pressure to define your gender neatly these days… And said, “No.” That’s not it. Hedwig is a woman like her. Period.

I had been saying to the spouse (we talk over the podcast; we get excited) that I saw a lot of myself in Hedwig’s disaster gender, and in that way you could read the ending as her deciding to stop splitting herself between her popular, cis-passing, sellout persona, and the real, messy her. And then Abi cut me off, and I said, laughing, “Oh my god, just hip-check my identity right into the orchestra pit! What… What…” And I started to cry.

I didn’t have my guard up. I didn’t expect it. And I’d never taken a hit quite this way before. This wasn’t being denied the validity of my existence, this was the validity of my artistic merit. Abigail Thorn, a demonstrably smart person with a lot of theatre experience who loves writing and acting, will not be requiring me or John Cameron Mitchell for her interpretation of Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Not even as a possible read. Please, go find yourselves in some other character, enbies. Let the transwomen have her.

…To the point where “Hansel” is treated like a modern-day deadname of a real person, when all we know for sure is that the character got rid of it to get out of East Berlin and she doesn’t use it anymore. It could be like that, but by the end of this, “Hedwig,” another name and gender she did not choose for herself, might be a deadname too. I’m not saying it has to be like that, but it’s not so ridiculous that we need to dismiss it unsaid, is it? Especially given that the goddamn originator of the character has been on a similar journey and decided to keep “John” and he/him for the moment. A person can do that and still kick their assigned gender to the curb, you know?

I didn’t need Hedwig to be about me and only me, I just needed the possibility to be left open and discussed a little bit. Another trans egg movie, but perhaps a nonbinary one this time. Like Speed Racer, it went hard and fell short! That’s all. I didn’t even know I needed that! Until Abi said I couldn’t have it.

The spouse stopped the podcast and comforted my surprised tears. He gave me a nonbinary read — which is not hard to do! — and said I deserve to be seen. I said, “I know why she said it. I do. It’s too close to their (hers and Alice’s) own experience and they don’t want to see anything else. It’s emotion-based. But… But… Nonbinary actor (and writer/director/producer/singer)! …What about Dev?” Dev really took a backseat on this one. They saw themself in Yitzhak, and Yitzhak isn’t the main character, and Abi and Alice were so into Hedwig, and they’re all friends. Yeah. I mean, I understand that too. Back off and let your friends have this one, it’s clearly important to them both.

I wanted to hear the rest of it, because it made Alice and Abi feel seen, and a lot of other trans folks too. Yeah, there’s a lot in it that aged like milk — cringy and outdated even when the film was made — but there’s a lot of valid queer experience in there, too, warts and all. I was surprised as hell that, in the end, Abi supports the “Tommy isn’t real” theory and believes this is a story about uniting one person and making yourself feel whole. And yet, she reiterated, “No.” It’s not about being nonbinary. It’s about reconciling with the male-gendered stuff you try to cut out of you when you transition. Dev and Alice were at least willing to allow that nonbinary was possible, if not quite willing to delve into it, but not Abi. Splitting yourself in two is a binary trans thing! As are many, many other things about Hedwig that I related to.

As an enby who came up with the “splitting yourself in two” metaphor while still in egg form, for a fictional character of my own who is also still in egg form, please let me tell you — please let me tell someone — that that’s not true. I didn’t meet Hedwig until last night, but I know about performing your acceptable, cis-passing, assigned gender and hiding all the “garbage” that doesn’t fit. I know what it is to be crammed into a false persona that gets a lot of love, while the real you, when you let it out, is only worthy of snarling punk lyrics into a mic at a dingy seafood restaurant with a hostile audience.

And, oh my god, do I know what it is to have a piece of you that will not come off, and prevents you from fitting fully into either binary gender. It can feel like a broken piece, like a scar, like a botched surgery you didn’t need that was inflicted on you… But it doesn’t have to be literally that. Hedwig, both the play and the person, doesn’t seem to have much use for physical reality. She’s here to unload her emotional reality, and she doesn’t care about any other real things she might damage along the way.

KJB were rather amazed that Hedwig chose to redefine herself by a (medically impossible) surgical accident. How brave of her to own her trauma like that. But I wonder, is it trauma? Or is it the only path a nonbinary egg in 1998 could see to gain an outside that expressed his inside? This isn’t what any of you wanted me to have, this isn’t even what I want to have, but it’s still me. It’s what I have to work with. (All signs point to “Tommy,” as a character, being at least a closeted gay guy who would’ve been fine if the “front of” Hedwig had been a penis, but it isn’t. It’s not quite anything at all, and he flees because that’s just too much for him to handle. Hedwig already is one of those androgynes she envies; she doesn’t need an Adam, she doesn’t need him. But she loves him/her cis-passing self, and she’s not yet ready to let him go.)

I don’t know what it is to actually try living as the other binary gender, I wasn’t active enough in queer circles to really feel that pressure to conform to the binary before I hatched. But I see it now, and I feel the same instinctive revulsion that Hedwig feels about being a divorced housewife in a trailer in Arizona. That’s not me either! Did I spend all this time and energy escaping one box, only to be trapped in another? Must I content myself with this simply because I don’t want to go back to the way I was? Is this only way I can get a green card that lets me access a queer space? To put on an ugly wig and pretend I’m more palatable?

To me, the revelation about wigs is not “I could be happy as ANY woman!” but, “This is a performance… This is all a fucking performance! This isn’t me, this is a hat someone put on my head. It comes off! I can have another hat! I can have all the hats!” And, selfishly, she denies Yitzhak that same joy, because he wears it better and seems happier. Hedwig clings to her suffering so tightly, it’s such a fundamental part of her identity, that she can’t bear to be around trans joy. No. There is no room for trans joy here, only trans spite. This story is about me. I don’t like transwomen, I don’t like transmen, and I sure as hell don’t like myself (yet)! In the end, after a lot more suffering, she’s willing to let that go.

In the end, Abi says she knows a lot of transwomen who seem to model themselves on Hedwig, and she wants them to know that isn’t how they have to be. They don’t have to choose between being just like a cis woman, or being a monstrous, chaotic, damaged other. You can be… Better than cis! Yes, says the cast of KJB, laughing, we are better than you! We are THE FUTURE! Three friends, having a ball on a podcast, trans joy at its finest — but you don’t find humour in feigning cruelty if you haven’t had some of that cruelty directed at you. This joy formed around a grain of spite. Not only does one often feel they have to be better than cis people, but when you’re still unhatched and stuck on the outside looking in, trans folks really do seem better than you. At least they know what their deal is.

I get it. I do. Because Hedwig fits me too. We all have our reasons to put on that perfectly ridiculous blonde wig and take the form of Hedwig, the Destroyer. Hedwig, the Chaotic. Hedwig, the Liar. Hedwig, the Truth. Hedwig, the Unrepentant Disaster. Hedwig, give me strength! But, it comes off. Look. It is literally a head-wig, a costume for your brain. I know sometimes you find a new wig and you really, really like it, and you become very attached and you want it to be just yours forever and ever, maybe even to the point of calling it your real hair, but… Someone else could still wear that same wig and feel just as happy as you, or maybe even happier. Maybe you’ll find a wig you like even better too. Transitioning isn’t just one and done, and Hedwigs don’t have to be forever. We do know this, don’t we?

Gender is a performance. Gender is a Hedwig. A lot of other things that you consider immutable parts of your identity are Hedwigs too. They are as real as any other social construct, but if you don’t like them or need them, you can just take them off. Sometimes it’s hard and it hurts, but I promise you can. Like Hedwig the character, or whoever that is, does. Inevitably, she must pick some new clothes, maybe new pronouns and a new name, too, but she’s not obligated to do that on camera for us. We can’t force her to say “Aha, see? This identity suited me all along!” No. We’re not entitled to know her or define her. She will be doing that for herself, later, as a whole person. What is so scary about the ending, what makes it look like a detransition instead of a synthesis, is that we insist on gendering her naked body as a male head-wig. Wouldn’t she wear something else if that wasn’t who she was? Well, maybe not. Or maybe so, but it’s her decision, not ours. Self-expression is not the Self, it just helps to define and validate the Self. Hedwigs are extremely fucking important for defining and validating the Self!

So, you know, you have to be willing to share.

#hedwig and the angry inch #kill james bond #nonbinary #transgender #deep dives #long post #abigail thorn #alice caldwell-kelly #devon #messy genders #messy is good - messy leaves rooms for lots of interpretation #yours and mine and theirs #you are valid #just - ya know- ow - the orchestra pit is painful #🐸🧠#🐸✏#🐸🎨

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danwhobrowses · 2 years

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The Sandman - Quickfire Thoughts

So after a series of sporadic binges between Netflix tussles I've finished The Sandman. Having gone into the adaptation of Gaiman's comic fairly blind I had barely any expectations, but here's what I thought of it

Spoilers for the show of course, you were warned

As much as I don't want to invoke the wrath of Gaiman - who also frequents the tumblr - negative points for not fitting Enter Sandman in the entire show.

A strange observation but, is it me but ever since Game of Thrones Charles Dance seems to only do small or low-screentime roles now; Godzilla King of the Monsters, Dracula Untold and now Sandman, he's great but because he's great it's curious that he doesn't do many long-term roles

Dream's casting was great, and props to Tom Sturridge for carrying an aura of menace and power in the first episode while butt naked

One of the very few things I knew of The Sandman comics was ol' toothy eyes, The Corinthian, and boy howdy was Boyd Holbrook fantastic, he's one of the five characters, including Sturridge as Dream, I feel dominates every scene they're in, he's a great charismatic but manipulative villain

The Gregory stuff made me sad, the show did have a fair amount of moments where it's meant to be sad and uncomfortable, but at the same time I don't want to be that sad or that uncomfortable

Liked the river scene, it's super artsy and dark. I wish we had more of that from this series, stuff like in this gif where Dream is as chilling as any nightmare he created, would've liked to see more of the Fates too

I do love some Jenna Coleman, been a fan all the way back since she debuted on Emmerdale, but, it didn't feel like her role in her episode was enough to necessitate the Constantine nod. Jenna could've been a regular sorcerer, or even an immortal Johanna. I dunno I think I just kinda hoped to see Matt Ryan reprise as John, especially since DC is killing the Arrowverse. Maybe DC didn't wanna play ball or Neil has S2 plans for her, but we needed more of Jenna to establish Johanna.

Speaking of potential Season 2, Hell. The Hell Episode was great, mainly because of standout no.3: Gwendoline Christie as Lucifer. Tom Ellis' Lucifer series wasn't something I quite got into, I heard rumblings of it ending dumbly, but Christie's Lucifer is amazingly sinister but in a quiet way, they know who they are so they don't need to threaten, but there is that twinge of sadness and longing that Dream exploits in their Oldest Game

Though 'anti-life' felt like a cheat, I did like the Oldest Game. The wink nudge of Lucifer picking a direwolf but then, by my interpretation, Morpheus choosing hope to corner Lucifer into submitting rather than become something that would diminish their own hope. Matthew the raven gets props as well for giving Morpheus the inspirational pep talk

24/7 was one of those cases where it was a great episode but one I was greatly uncomfortable with, sometimes my own fault like forgetting that Bette's son is in college. But this does explore why John Dee's views on a perfect world is twisted and the Ruby is not safe in his hands, I did feel especially bad for Bette

Oh, John Dee is no.4, David Thewlis man. As much as Dee was unnerving, apathetic, and calculating, Thewlis did a great job in showing the childlike innocence that had been contorted by his sheltered life and manipulation, there is poetic irony that he wants a world of honesty but consistently deceives himself.

Episode 6 was perhaps my favourite, among my comic knowledge was the presentation of Death in Gaiman's story as a joyful punk rock girl who is full of life, Kirby Howell-Baptiste did a great job. I did of course feel extra sad when she approached the cradle, instant thoughts of 'no, not the baby!' in my mind, I don't know enough of her character to wonder if she still feels burdened by the abruptness of some people dying but there can be time for that later

What made it my favourite though was the Hob storyline, it was just nice and wholesome really and it explored more of Morpheus' ever-shrinking distance from humanity

The Vortex storyline I wasn't as sold on as the 'Morpheus reclaims his powers' storyline, it was still good but it did sit in the real world more than the fantasy

I enjoyed the whole house of people and Lyta, and how they all supported Rose in her search for her brother, plus the connection with Unity to merge the storylines together

Probably what made me not so connected to the Vortex storyline in spite of it having the Corinthian be the main villain is the nature of the Vortex, we're told very little about its nature and the 'I don't know' answer does feel weak, she is powerful just because

Morpheus also seems to take two steps back on his character development too, to go from Death telling him that they are not better than humans, should learn to take people's help and him accepting that he and Hob are friends to 'I will use this Vortex, a threat to the dreaming and waking world entirely just to bait some rogue nightmares' and also dismiss Gault's suggestion that even nightmares can change and want did feel like he was undoing his own work

Didn't quite like the Rumpelstiltskin vibe he was giving out with saying he'd come for Lyta's baby too, there could've been at least a bit more compassion or explanation, instead it served as a 'misunderstanding' trope to distance Rose from Morpheus

The ending was solid, albeit one which could've used a bit more explanation. Desire was a character we saw so little of - much like Cain and Abel, whose dynamic reminded me of Hilda and Zelda in Chilling Adventures of Sabrina - and even though we have them outright tell Despair that they are the mastermind of Morpheus' imprisonment and the Vortex arc, we don't actually see any of their actions, just an off-comment by Unity that clocks Morpheus in on the deception.

I feel like, while Gaiman may've intended to keep the audience out of loop, it may've served better to see Desire perform at least one action that guided the plot around, even if it was just to twirl a fake mustache, and explain how they intended to use the Vortex to be Morpheus' undoing, since there seems to be rules for not killing an endless' kin not established in the series (that I recall anyway) was the plan, but since I don't understand what that would lead to it's hard to understand the threat.

Overall I liked it, going in mainly blind I do have my questions but we had a great cast all doing really well, and I want to see more of it, so it laid some strong groundwork we can hopefully build towards.

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thatfanfictiongirl76 · 4 months

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Supernatural Time Travel Rec

I actually finished this rec a year ago, but forgot to post it. Anyway, Supernatural was the first fandom to get me into the time travel trope. So I’ve been “mining” Supernatural time travel fics for over a decade now. So here are all my favorites. Enjoy!

It's All in the Details

By: Colleen

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7002492/1/It-s-All-in-the-Details

Summary: When Dean goes to sell his soul at the crossroads to bring Sam back, someone else steps in to negotiate the deal. Cas did get a sign and it sent him off into the past to change things. AU from "The Man Who Would Be King" and "All Hell Breaks Loose."

My Comments: This is a WIP and it hasn't been updated since May of 2016, so it is abandoned, but I still think that this is worth your time. The basic premise of this is Castiel from the season 6 episode “The Man Who Would Be King” travels back to the end of season two. So it is a rewrite of season 3 and 4. But it still is mainly original work and I promise that you will love it. This is probably the best Supernatural fanfiction I've ever read, and that's saying something. I can promise you that it will not be a waste of your time. Somebody uploaded this work on AO3, which I will link down below, however it was originally posted on ff.net, which is linked above. You do need an account to access the AO3 link, just so you know.

Status: Incomplete

Last Update: 5/16/16

Length: 184,265 words

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36412555

Fraternity Series

By: Fiachra Ochiem

https://archiveofourown.org/series/2453464

Summary (for Jump in the Fire): John Winchester is hunting a witch (at least a witch is his best lead so far) in Missouri while his boys are on spring break. When he gets into trouble, a new hunter comes to help, a man he's never met before with floppy hair and familiar eyes.

My Comments: The summary up above is from the first fic in the series. This is a really good series! They are set somewhere near the end of season 8 (you'll find out how). You really only need to know about the trials to read this fic. It's a really good read, and I like how it kind of gives a background on some things in the show. I love what John thinks "Seth" is at the end of this series. I do wish there was a continuation fic about John and "Seth," but that's just wishful thinking on my part.

Status: Complete

Length (Whole Series): 65,213 words

Ff.net:

Jump in the Fire -- https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9708706/1/Jump-In-the-Fire

Creeping Death -- https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9818284/1/Creeping-Death

Fight Fire with Fire --https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9927971/1/Fight-Fire-with-Fire

The End of the Line -- https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10086182/1/The-End-of-the-Line

Face to Face With the Skies

By: Quiddative

http://archiveofourown.org/works/587057/chapters/1055298

Summary: Castiel was not killed by Raphael on the night of Lucifer's release. Instead, he's sent to the year 1996 and encounters the Winchesters. Unable to return to the present, Castiel resigns himself to traveling with them on their hunts across the states. Meanwhile, in the year 2008, Dean has barely gotten used to being back in the land of the living when he gets the biggest shock of his life; the man he fell in love with when he was 18 has seemingly come back from the grave as well, claiming to be an angel of the Lord. The thing is, he doesn't have a clue who Dean is.

My Comments: This fic is actually the first Destiel fic that I ever read, and god is it a good one. I found this fic when looking for time travel fanfictions. I really love how it shows past Dean, and current Dean and the differences and similarities between both of them and how Cas fell in love with each of them. I highly recommend giving this fic a read! I promise that you’ll love it!!!

Status: Complete

Length: 42,168 words

Back to Infinite

By: Toneskis

https://toneskis.livejournal.com/4599.html

Summary: Revenge isn’t always aimed at those who deserve it.

My Comments: So this is a really good time travel fanfiction. It's a bit heartbreaking, but still really well written. The demons in this fic is an interesting concept. I think that this fic was written back in either season two or season three so it doesn’t really match up to canon. But the two things I really like about these fics are Bobby and John. I really like how it shows their relationship. I promise you will enjoy this one.

Status: Complete

Length: 13,019 words

Look Back in Anger

By: Vailkagami

http://archiveofourown.org/works/268671

Summary: When John Winchester is possessed by the yellow-eyed demon and asks his son to kill him, Sam does so and disappears, leaving his injured brother behind in a hospital. As a result of the demon’s early death, deals are never made. A lot of bad things never happen - but Dean doesn’t know that. All he knows is that Sam killed his father and abandoned him.

My Comments: The original summary was longer, but I thought that this worked better. So this is a really good time travel fanfiction. It is set in both season 6 and the end of season 1. It is from Dean’s POV which is interesting. I would highly recommend this fic.

Status: Complete

Length: 24,157 words

Secure the Blessing

By: Rahmi

https://archiveofourown.org/works/639267

Summary: Sam makes a wish. Dean is not pleased.

My Comments: So this was written during season 2, so it obviously doesn’t match up with Canon, but it’s still a really good fic. I really like how it depicts how it would be for Dean to relive his life all over again. Not to mention that this fic was just flat out hilarious. And I really like how it depicted John and how with Mary living he would have turned out.

Status: Complete

Length: 21,364 words

Series: https://archiveofourown.org/series/34311

Sequels: Up Ahead (The Roads Were Closed) -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/672311

The Back of the Storm --https://archiveofourown.org/works/672331

Ff.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5546226/1/Secure-the-Blessing

Ff.net Up Ahead: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5604609/1/Up-Ahead

Ff.net The Back of the Storm: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5615642/1/The-Back-of-a-Storm

Rewritten

By: Fangirl-Jess

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11791668/1/

Summary: Sam was having a tough day as it is, trying to cure your demon brother while he’s trying to kill you wasn’t enough, now he’s in 2006 with his brother just after their father’s deal and death; before many more deaths; before Cas and the angels; before the cage; before the apocalypse; before Dean’s deal. Will Sam and Dean try to change the future?

My Comments: This is a nice short time travel fanfiction. It’s an okay read if you like time travel fanfictions. Also I wasn’t able to subtract the author’s notes from the original word count, so it may be a bit different.

Status: Complete

Length: 7,670 words

I Have Stood Here Once Before

By: Stangerine

https://stangerine88.livejournal.com/54392.html

Summary: Centuries into the future, the world has ended. Neither Heaven nor Hell have come out victorious as the last human soul is wiped from the war-ravaged Earth. In a fit of desperate rebellion, Castiel goes back to the start, back to November 2nd, 2005 to prove once and for all the people make their own destinies. Only fate’s a fickle bitch when you try to pull one over on her and Castiel finds himself in a time in which Sam Winchester is a far cry from the hardened hunter of his memory.

My Comments: So this is a Sam/Castiel fic, but despite that it is still a pretty good fic. I like how it shows it from John and Dean’s POV too, which I actually loved. The ending is pretty sad though, but still a good read.

Status: Complete

Length: 48,000 words

Nihil Inherit

By: Ratherastory

https://archiveofourown.org/works/210854

Summary: In May of 2007, Sam Winchester wakes up in his own grave, but digging himself out is the least of his worries. He’s plagued by the psychic visions which have returned with renewed intensity and which all but threaten to cripple him. He reunites with Dean, only to find that the Yellow-Eyed Demon is still at large, about to put his world-ending plans into motion. A mysterious figure who knows much more that he ought too, dogs Sam’s footsteps, hinting at darker things to come. Soon Sam and Dean find themselves on a path that feels frighteningly familiar: toward Lilith, Lucifer, and the Apocalypse. Unable to shake the certainty that he’s seen this all before, Sam knows that this is his one chance to set things right, or die trying.

My Comments: So this is a pretty good fanfiction. I really love the twist they put on time travel and the effect it would have on the human mind. This fic is tragically beautiful in the best sort of way, I highly recommend this one! This fic is cross-posted on LiveJournal, so I'll link that down below.

Status: Complete

Length: 72,033 words

LiveJournal: https://ratherastory.livejournal.com/60075.html

Providence

By: Nova42

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3362444

Summary: If you could do it all over again, what would you change, what would you sacrifice, who would you save? Dean wakes up in 2007 with ten years worth of memories that haven’t happened yet and choices to make that will change the world forever.

My Comments: This is a pretty good fanfiction with Dean going back in time. I’m gonna be honest, I’ve only read half of this fic because that was all that was posted at the time. Now the entire fic is posted so I’m gonna have to go back and reread this fic. There is a sequel, but it is three chapters away from being complete but it was last updated back in 2020. So read at your own peril. This fic is cross-posted on ff.net, so I'll link that down below.

Status: Complete

Length: 121,309 words

Series: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1056584

Sequel: Causality -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/15006134

Ff.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11048603/1/Providence

Ff.net Sequel: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12946953/1/Causality

Path Already Traveled

By: Clowns_or_Midgets & Jadeys_World

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3535559

Summary: Castiel prays for guidance, and someone answers. He and Sam set off on a journey to the past to save the future. Ties will be tested and personal battles fought for the sake of the world.

My Comments: This is one of my favorite fics, I’ve always loved PeggySue fics and this one definitely fits the bill. I love the relationships between all the characters. I highly recommend this one. This fic is cross-posted on ff.net, so I'll link that down below.

Status: Complete

Length: 90,120 words

Ff.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11103666/1/Path-Already-Traveled

#supernatural #supernatural fanfic #supernatural time travel #time travel #fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction rec #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel

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monkey-network · 1 year

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My Issues/Problems/Disgusts Resolved(?)

When you have issues, troubles, or disgusts with anything, the hardest but relieving thing to do coming to terms with them. A couple of years ago, I made a trilogy of posts exploring three people I found ranging from repugnant to devious. It came at a time when frustrations might as well have come out and frankly they were just about people everyone was more than aware of online. Enough time has passed and while this isn't just gonna be me apologizing or being remorseful for what I said, I want to I guess truly bury the hatchet and resolve these stuck-around feelings as somebody that has... been humbled a lot over these years (make of that what you will). This is coming from somebody that knows a lot about staying in your own head. So yeah, let's talk.

Lily Orchard [OP Link]

Gotta say that... nothing's really changed only in that it's all less with anger now. Put this first because it'll be short. To be as sincere as I can, she's just an unlikable person. Regardless of her out there opinions and ideas of media literacy, or her choices in fictional tastes, I won't be the guy that will throw every evil label and the kitchen sink onto her. Calling the spade a spade, even as a former fan I saw that within reason it was seeing a very insatiable and arrogant media "critic" with negative social skills. Hell, the mentions you see of her on Tumblr or Twitter especially are just the open secret that most people don't like her. For me, that resentment has become passive chagrin.

I won't convince anybody of who she can really be, how bad she can be at being both original and derivative, or what she is potentially. I wouldn't say a lost cause, but there's nothing complicated about this anymore. She's just a massive asshole. Not because of any human characteristic of hers, her opinions, or what was known about her in the past. Take away any personal semantics or bias, I remain only puzzled about how her circle is able to tolerate her presence because she's just an unlikable person and that's all on her.

Butch Hartman {OP Link}

2020 basically was the year where a man responsible for one of the most popular cartoons on Nickelodeon finished swan-diving his reputation just as fast as the likes of John K and Justin Roiland. From scheming a streaming service that still isn't out of early access yet to making a Christian flash cartoon that looks 20 years too late. It's a classic story of pride coming before the fall, culminating in his Youtube channel being a wasteland aside from sketch tiktoks that barely make the thousands in views despite his huge follower count. As much as LSMark looked to make good-faith conversation with him recently, Butch basically became a ghost now after all the controversies died down.

Now despite what I said initially, Butch's fall in reputation is definitely not comparable to Kricfalusi or Roiland's; we've heard nothing of him physically taking advantage of anybody in or out the industry. The worse he's done is take advantage of his legacy for either financial or supportive gains. This is not as bad as domestic or sexual assault of course, but it spoke wonders of how the ego of big time creators can kill any goodwill and faith when they're not actually considerate of the following that respect them. A quick search of his name on Youtube is more about the people discussing his controversies than anything he worked on. People still discuss Danny Phantom and Fairly Oddparents, hell the Cosmo mpreg episode is a meme to this day, but with the detachment towards Butch as the creator.

I'm fine with this predicament, but it's sad to believe this was all on him. It wasn't just about Oaxis being a scam or him saying "he created your childhood" or heaven forbid his attempts of promoting religious healing, it was about seeing a creator of some things you liked reveal himself as someone in a bubble that you lose any idea in looking up to. It's not exactly "Don't Meet Your Heroes," more "Don't glue on rose-tinted glasses". I won't force or insult what remains of Butch's "fanbase" for sticking with him, but this definitely woke me up in terms of how I view the creators I love. Humility is the special word in all this, where some creators can have some disapproving moments but you can still have respect for their craft. With Butch, it wasn't even him entirely that made his shows look great. As of now, he's making poorly illustrated kid's bible stories with Fairly Oddparents getting a live-action show that Nickelodeon regretted making immediately after releasing to the point of erasing it all not even a full year after it was first announced. Even when things are probably fine now, the guy fell off as hard as I expected originally. I can seriously put this behind knowing I was factually right on the money the first time and that does put a smile on my face.

Also... Butt Shartman. That's all, let's move on.

Mysterious Mr. Enter (OP Link)

I'll say this was the reason why I made this post. Lily and Hartman I say speak of an absence of change and reflecting on that absence. Mr. Enter is different and, cut to the chase, it has to do with this recent video.

youtube

I've talked my fair share of shit toward Mr. Enter these past few years, reasonably so. At the same time, my vitriol toward him came from some semblance of respect. Many have to this day brought up Mr. Enter calling out the writers of Spongebob for a particular episode they did, but John is right in that that was around the time he barely had a following and just started out with media reviews. Mr. Enter has made bad opinions, I will never deny that and this isn't me defending him, but I see that he can recognize they're bad. He's better than Lily Orchard in that... he can admit being wrong and grow from it. We meme and shit on this dude, but for me, there was still that modicum of respect I had for him being this dedicated. In spite of the harassment or the justified backlash, he's still putting in the effort.

Over the years, I've come to understand that media critics can have different understandings of media. That doesn't mean every critic is always right in their own way, grifters exist for a reason, but I don't see Mr. Enter as a grifter-type critic compared to people who to this day complain about The Last Jedi. He can have some off takes on the types of humor or tropes in a cartoon, but more often than not he's being sincere. That's why I say he still has some respect from me for as long as I've known him. Every bad take aside, I don't take him as somebody who is "ruining media criticism".

I don't agree with everything he says or believes, but John's doing better than I can say for Butch Hartman or Lily Orchard especially. He's doing Admirable Animations again, something I brought up originally, and am intrigued to see that he indirectly took my advice. He can work well with more positive videos. I never felt he was an actively terrible critic, Turning Red meme aside, and I didn't want to just treat him as the bane of online media criticism or the worst thing to ever happen. The dude has his faults but can acknowledge them better than most online personalities I've seen who feel it's weak to admit anything. He's no different from the Nostalgia Critic where the tumultuous attitudes toward them in the past have subsided where yeah, I'm not gonna side with every bad opinion or choice they make but they aren't actively killing any goodwill I would have for them. It's not pity, but making your empathy less black and white compared to people more deserving of scrutiny. Overall I still have hopes Mr. Enter will do better, imperfect as things can get.

Conclusion

I wanna say this post and the former three I made reflected the increased awareness and discourse of the parasocial relationships we can have, especially online. There have been plenty of people that certainly abused their status and paid for it, these three stayed in the mind for how consistently they tracked in soiling their reputation. At the same time, how wary we are about things or the people we followed isn't always cut and dry. That's why the title has the question mark in parentheses, nothing ever ends so I'm not saying these current feelings will just be buried away and forgotten forever. I just know that for this current future, it's better to seriously lay things to rest while subconsciously keeping in mind what can be done differently from now on. To conclude, this is all better than having to care about people like Andrew Tate or Elon Musk living another day.

#mysterious mr enter #mr enter #Butch Hartman #lily orchard #media #Youtube #sorry for the rant 'n bant

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spn-rewrites · 2 years

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01x02 (PART 1)

Season One Episode Two: Wendigo

Part 2 Part 3

Summary: a big bear in the middle of nowhere

Word Count: 2.6k

You watched in the reflection of the window as Sam’s face twitched and he wiggled in his sleep. You knew it was only a matter of time before he jerked awake as he’s done everyday for the last week. He barely slept. You watched him anyway, as he rubbed his eyes together and shook his head as if shaking the dream from his mind. “You good?” You asked from your spot as Dean glanced at him from the road for a little too long.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Sam said clearing his throat, staring out at the passing traffic next to him.

“Was it another nightmare?” Dean asked before looking back at the road but Sam just ignored it. Every time Sam has slept since watching Jessica burn to a crisp on the ceiling of their apartment, he has had a nightmare. He was constantly trying to force himself to stay awake, drinking obscene amounts of coffee and staying up late watching terrible infomercials. “You wanna drive for a while?” Dean offered, anything to help cheer his younger brother up.

You gasped at his words causing Sam to chuckle, “in your whole life, you never once asked me that.” Which was a very true statement - Dean protected the Impala at all costs.

“Um, yeah. What about me?” You scoffed, throwing your hands up in the air. You were offended that Dean never asked you to drive, however, you knew the exact reason why you could never drive the Impala - you were not a good driver. When you turned 16, Dean tried to teach you how to drive using John’s old truck but you ended up hitting approximately three mailboxes in the first few lessons. Dean was persistent and eventually, you learned, but he will never forget and he will never let you touch his baby.

“Just thought you might want to, never mind,” Dean said, his annoyance directed to his brother, and then glanced back at you. Your eyebrows were still furrowed and your mouth still open, waiting for an answer. “Don’t even get me started on you,” Dean said, waving a finger at you. You shut your mouth, shocked, and Sam started to laugh.

“Look, I know you’re worried about me, I get it. Thank you guys,” Sam looked back at you with a small smile, “but I’m perfectly okay.” Dean mumbled and you rolled your eyes, both of you knowing full well that Sam was not okay. “Alright, where are we?” Sam grabbed the map from the dash, his voice still sleep strung and groggy but he was eager to change the subject.

“Just outside of Grand Junction,” you answered sleepily. You, unlike Sam, had not had a chance to sleep the whole drive here because of Dean’s loud music. Although Sam’s sleep had been laced with nightmares, at least he was getting some sleep. You’d think that being in this car for so many years, you’d get used to the blaring rock music that escaped the speakers, but that was not the case.

“Maybe we shouldn't have left Stanford so soon,” Sam said after looking at the coordinate John left for us on the map. His voice was wary and shaky. A week was just not long enough for him.

“We dug around there for a week and came up with nothing, if you wanna find the thing that killed Jessica-” Dean started but Sam stepped in, cutting him off.

“We gotta find Dad first,” Sam finished, mocking his brother. You and Dean already had an inclining that nothing was going to be found in the area, after all, John had been looking for this thing for years without any resolve, however, you stayed for Sam’s sake. You knew he needed to stay for a little longer than one day but now you were questioning if one week was even too short.

“Dad disappearing and this thing coming after Jessica after so long? That’s no coincidence,” Dean said, pushing his point for finding their father. You agreed from the backseat, feeling left out. You put your elbows up on the front seat and stuck your head in between the two boys. As of lately, this was your new position.

“It’s just weird, man,” Sam studied the map, scratching his chin as if he was deep in thought. “These coordinates that Dad left, this Blackwater Ridge.”

“What about it?” You asked, looking at the map from over his shoulder. There were no roads or highways anywhere near the coordinates.

“There’s nothing there,” Sam explained, showing you the map. You studied it and looked closer to where the giant X was marked on the map. Sam turned the map towards Dean and he nodded, seeing what Sam meant.

“Guess we’re gonna have to go and find out,” you suggested, smiling wide at the younger brother even though his face was full of concern and worry. You were hoping that all this speculation that he was having these past two hunts would go away soon. You wanted him on your side again more than anything.

Once you guys reached the main town of Lost Creek, you headed inside the Ranger Station. It was an old log cabin, a giant sign in front by the road to attract tourists. Inside, there was a giant 3D map of the area, including Black Water Ridge. “It’s pretty remote, cut off my canyons, rough terrain, dense forest, abandoned silver and gold mines all over the place…” Sam trailed off as he was staring down at the display. “...and a dozen or more grizzlies in the area.” Sam was rambling off facts like he usually did on hunts before he left and you and Dean ignored it, as you two usually did. He was unsure about a lot of things, but at least the routine that you three had been in all those years ago was coming back slowly. You and Dean were looking up at a photo hung up on the wall behind Sam, a guy holding up a grizzly bear he had shot down on the hike. You grimace in disgust at the sight and Dean’s face was just furrowed, all his features smashed together.

“It’s not nature hike, that’s for sure,” you commented, still fascinated by the picture.

“You three aren’t planning on going out near Black Water Ridge, are you?” The park ranger’s voice startled the three of you from where he stood behind his desk. You snapped your head back at him.

“No sir, we’re environmental study majors from U.C Boulder, we’re just working on a paper,” you said quickly, pointing to the boys on either side of you with a grin on your face. That was the story that Dean had decided would be your cover-up in the car.

“Recycle, man.” Dean said, a pout on his lips and his fist up. You pinched the back of arm causing him to grunt in pain a little and look down at you. You kept the smile on your face.

“Bull, you’re friends with that Hailey girl, right?” He asked, crossing his arms over his chest and looking at the three of you unconvinced.

“Yeah, we are.” Dean said as if he was caught. You looked at Sam and he shrugged his shoulders at you. The two of you stayed back while Dean walked closer to the ranger.

“Well, I will tell you exactly what I told her - her brother filled out a backcountry permit saying he wouldn’t be back from Black Water until the 24th. So it’s not exactly a missing persons, now is it?” He said, throwing his hands up in the air in defeat. It sounded like a routine statement he probably had made multiple times already this week.

Dean nodded his head to the side and you watched the ranger intently from behind, “that Hailey girl is quite a pistol, isn’t she? Actually, you know what would help is if I could show her a copy of that backcountry permit,” Dean asked, following as the ranger walked away from where he was standing.

After leaving the ranger station, the permit in hand, the three of you headed to this Hailey girl’s house to get more information on her brother, Tommy. You three studied that permit back and forth the whole drive there so that no detail was left unturned.

Hailey was eager to help you with any information you needed to help find her brother, however, everything she told you was nothing to be too concerned about. It sounded to you that he was just hiking and lost his cell phone connection, but Hailey was convinced that her brother would not go without checking in on her and their younger brother. Which was why she informed you, that she hired a guide to take her out into the woods in the morning to look for him herself. She showed the last video message Tommy sent to her to you and the boys as a parting gift. Sam made copies of it on his own drive to study later.

After spending some time with her and her younger brother, you guys set off to a bar to bang out some more details about your impending trip. “So Black Water Ridge doesn’t get a lot of traffic, local campers mostly, but still, this past April two hikers went missing out there. And they were never found.” Sam said, slamming a folder on the table in front of you. It was filled with newspaper articles and stuff from the missing persons cases.

“Anything before that?” You asked, moving your chair closer to Sam’s to get a better look at the pages. He looked down at you, catching your eye. He smiled for a moment before answering.

“Yeah, in 1992, eight different people all vanished in the same year. Authorities said it was a grizzly attack,” Sam handed Dean those articles and he studied them while you looked at the other ones in front of Sam. “And again in 1959, and again, before that in 1936. Every 23 years, just like clockwork.” Sam pulled out his laptop from his bag sitting in between your two chairs, his hands grazing your thigh softly and your mind went blank for a moment, focusing solely on that. You pushed the thought out of your mind, he’s still grieving, you thought. You grabbed the files out of his way so he could set his laptop down. “I downloaded that guy Tommy’s video to the laptop, check this out,” Sam slowed the video down moving it frame by frame.

“Again,” Dean asked and Sam did. Over the course of three frames, a fraction of a second, there was a dark shadow figure moving behind Tommy’s face behind his tent. “I told you something weird was going on,” Dean said, hitting Sam in the shoulder. Sam just rolled his eyes at his brother’s comment.

“That thing can move,” you whispered to yourself, still shocked by the fact something could move that far in such a short time frame. The idea of going into bear infested woods was not exactly appealing to you at the moment.

“One more thing,” Sam said pulling out another piece of paper from the folder that was now sitting in front of you, “in ‘59, one camper survived the supposed grizzly attack, just a kid, barely crawled out of the woods alive.” Sam said eagerly, looking between you and Dean. You caught his eye for a second and you couldn’t help but be nervous for this hunt. Whatever it was, whatever it did to people, it was starting to freak you out.

You all agreed that the camper from ‘59 was going to be your next stop. He lived in a run-down place, completely trashed. He was an old man now, wearing battered old clothes and a cigarette hanging from his mouth. “Look, I don’t know why you’re asking me about this. It’s public record and I was a kid,” the man’s voice was gravely. Probably from all those cigarettes. “My parents got mauled by a--”

“Grizzly? That’s what attacked them?” Sam asked, straight into the hard hitting questions. You looked around slyly, trying to hide your disgusted face but Dean noticed, smiling at you and shaking his head at your reaction. He pointed towards Sam and the guy, beckoning you to pay some attention so you did.

The old man took the cigarette out of his mouth, hesitated but eventually mumbled a yes. “The other people that went missing that year, those were bear attacks, too?” Dean asked, stepping closer to the man. You stayed back with Sam, watching his facial expressions. You were always good at reading people. “And all the people that went missing this year? Same thing?“ Dean pushed, knowing that the guy would eventually break.

The old man was looking down at the ground, not making eye contact with either one of you guys. You could tell he was on the verge of spilling everything, every detail you needed. “If we knew what it was that was doing this, we might be able to stop it.” You coaxed, your voice soft and motherly. You stepped up to be next to Dean.

The old man looked in your eyes, “I seriously doubt that, anyways, I don’t see the difference it would make.” He sat down in his chair, taking a drag of his smoke. “You wouldn’t believe me, no one ever did.”

“Mr. Shaw, what did you see?” Sam asked, sitting on the man’s bed next to the chair he was sitting in. Mr. Shaw sighed, looking between all three of you, hesitating for good reason.

“Nothing,” he said, causing you all to glance looks between each other in confusion.“It moved too fast to see, it hid too well. I heard it through, a roar. Like no man or animal I ever heard.” The man spilled, his voice was quiet like he was telling a horror story.

“It came at night? Got inside your tent?” Sam pried for more information but the deeper he went, the more nervous you felt.

“It got inside our cabin,” Mr. Shaw said, accentuating the last word. His eyebrows furrowed at Sam as if he should have known that. You took in a deep breath, once again the nerves hitting you. “I was sleeping in front of the fireplace when it came in, it didn’t smash a window or break the door. It unlocked it,” he explained. “I didn't even wake up until I heard my parents screaming, it dragged them off into the night.” The three of you glanced at each other, as the man kept talking. “I don’t know why it left me alive, but it did leave me with this, though.” Mr. Shaw pulled down his shirt to reveal large claw marks that scarred his whole right shoulder. “There is something evil in those woods.” He warned.

The air in the house had an eerie feeling to it after that. Your stomach was turned into a knot just at the thought of it. Something you couldn’t see, moving too fast for you to hunt. In the middle of the woods, at night. The whole scenario shook you to your core but the boys acted like this was nothing. You didn’t want them to know how you were feeling, Dean would most definitely either make fun of you or make you stay back at the hotel. Probably both.

Tags: stuckupstucky sillydecoy jessewa26 kaelyn-lobrutto24

#spn #spn rewrite #supernatural #supernatural rewrite #sam winchester #dean winchester #sam x reader #dean x reader #season one episode two #sam winchester x reader #dean winchester x reader #reader instert #spn imagine #spn blurb #spn fic #spn fan fic

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linus-wickworth · 1 year

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November 2022 Reading Wrap-Up!

1. A Light Amongst Shadows by Kelley York. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

James is hardly the typical troubled youth who ends up at Whisperwood School for Boys. Instead of hating the strict schedules and tight oversight by staff, James blossoms, quickly making friends, indulging in his love of writing, and contemplating the merits of sneaking love poems to the elusive and aloof William Esher.

2. A Hymn in the Silence by Kelley York. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Since graduating from Whisperwood School for Boys, William has found a sense of normalcy in his life with James. He has a steady (albeit secret) relationship, a home, and a job-even if it doesn't pay the greatest.

3. A Calm Before the Storm by Kelley York. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

James and William’s first Christmas together in their own home ought to be a cause for celebration. But when money is tight, and William is going through withdrawals in an attempt to get off of his laudanum completely, the level of holiday cheer is dismally low.

4. Picture Unavailable by Andrew J. Brandt. ⭐⭐⭐⭐1/2

While looking through their sixth-grade yearbooks, Charlie and his two best friends notice that the portrait of their missing classmate has been left blank except for two words: Picture Unavailable. Though Johnny vanished mysteriously, Charlie and company know he was at Westfield Middle School for picture day. Things get stranger when they realize Johnny's image has been purged from the entire yearbook.

5. Because Everything Is Right but Everything Is Wrong by Erin Donohue. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Can you be lost and not know it? Can other people stop you from being lost? Seventeen-year-old Caleb’s world is disintegrating, his walls are closing in, his sky is threatening to fall. He's barely holding on. To deadlines. To friends. To family. To mum. To Pat. But he has Casey.

6. Suicide Watch by Kelley York. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Vincent has spent his entire life being shuffled from one foster home to the next. His grades suck. Making friends? Out of the question thanks to his nervous breakdowns and unpredictable moods. Still, Vince thought when Maggie Atkins took him in, he might have finally found a place to get his life--and his issues--in order. When Maggie dies, it all falls apart.

7. Jolt by Bernard Beckett. ⭐⭐⭐1/2

Marko surfaces from a drug induced haze to find himself hidden from the world in a psychiatric ward. He is certain the 'Doctor' means to kill him, and he in turn has vengeful plans of his own. But how is it he came to stop taking his medication? Who can Marko trust and how much time does he have?

8. Charm & Strange by Stephanie Kuehn. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

A lonely teenager exiled to a remote Vermont boarding school in the wake of a family tragedy must either surrender his sanity to the wild wolves inside his mind or learn that surviving means more than not dying.

9. It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini. ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Ambitious New York City teenager Craig is determined to succeed at life--which means getting into the right high school to get into the right college to get the right job. But once Craig aces his way into Manhattan's Executive Pre-Professional High School, the pressure becomes unbearable. He stops eating and sleeping until, one night, he nearly kills himself. Craig's suicidal episode gets him checked into a mental hospital.

10. The Pigman by Paul Zindel. ⭐⭐⭐⭐1/2

When sophomores John and Lorraine played a practical joke a few months ago on a stranger named Angelo Pignati, they had no idea what they were starting. Virtually overnight, almost against their will, the two befriended the lonely old man, and it wasn't long before they were more comfortable in his house than their own. But now Mr. Pignati is dead. And for John and Lorraine, the only way to find peace is to write down the Pigman's story.

11. Ghosting You by Alexander C. Eberhart. ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Tommy hears dead people. Okay, one dead person. His best friend, Chase. Since his death, Tommy can't stop hearing his voice. They talk every day and Tommy even sends him texts, but it always ends the same. Message failed to send. Until one day, a stranger texts back.

12. Wild Summer by Suki Fleet. ⭐⭐⭐

At fifteen, Christopher falls in love with a boy whose life he saves. But things go wrong and four years later, he wishes he'd acted differently. His conscience begins to haunt him, and he knows he must find Summer again.

13. Monster by Michael Grant. ⭐⭐⭐1/2

It's been four years since a meteor hit Perdido Beach and everyone disappeared. Everyone, except the kids trapped in the FAYZ. Now the dome is gone and meteors are hitting earth with an even deadlier virus. Humans will mutate into monsters and the whole world will be exposed. As some teens begin to morph into heroes, they will find that others have become dangerously out of control... and that the world is on the brink of a monstrous battle between good and evil.

14. As Far as You'll Take Me by Phil Stamper. ⭐⭐⭐

Seventeen-year-old Marty Pierce leaves small-town Kentucky for London, hoping to explore his sexuality and find work playing oboe, but homesickness, anxiety, and his dwindling savings worsen even as his dreams are coming true.

15. The Blue Lawn by William Taylor. ⭐⭐⭐⭐1/2

David and Theo are fifteen and sixteen and from very different backgrounds; when they become close friends they must find a way of dealing with the strong physical attraction they feel for each other.

16. Brian's Winter by Gary Paulsen. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Instead of being rescued from a plane crash, as in Hatchet, this story portrays what would have happened to Brian had he been forced to survive a winter in the wilderness with only his survival pack and hatchet.

17. The River by Gary Paulsen. ⭐⭐⭐⭐1/2

Because of his success surviving alone in the wilderness for fifty-four days, fifteen-year-old Brian, profoundly changed by his time in the wild, is asked to undergo a similar experience to help scientists learn more about the psychology of survival.

18. Lock & West by Alexander C. Eberhart. ⭐⭐⭐⭐1/2

Lock is awkward. He can't make eye contact, counts when he's nervous and has to remind himself several times a day how 'normal' teens behave. Homeschooled most of his life, he's resigned himself to a friendless existence at his new Atlanta high school. Until he meets West.

19. The Catcher In The Rye by J. D. Salinger. ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Like many teenagers, 16-year-old Holden Caulfield doesn't really know what he wants to do, although he is sure that he wants to avoid anything phony. It tells the description of Holden's tortured adolescence as he comes to terms with the transition to adulthood and the onset of a nervous breakdown.

#books #bookblr #ya books #queer books #reading wrapup #november 2022

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spn-fanfic-reblog-writes · 2 years

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So, the wonderful @marisferasiop gave, what I think, is very spot on for the Moon Knight system especially with their college education in psychology.

I love character studies. >.> I really like to understand why people are the way they are and what that means for their strength’s and weaknesses.

I just wanted to see what @marisferasiop view is on Dean, for rn.

I bring this up with their permission for discussion as they have watched Supernatural.

Dean

Dean and Sam being brothers and referenced having a very “weird” or “messed up” relationship.

When it really isn’t, it is that Dean had his father in grain into him he was Sam’s protector and caretaker. This is in addition to being “Daddy’s little soldier.” Dean as a child remembers what it means to have a home and what that feels like which is why when they discover the Men of Letter’s bunker, Dean is like I am home. He was exposed to this terrible toxic masculinity as a child thanks to his Dad, a former Marine (navy) and Vietnam veteran. His father trained him from four years old to be a soldier, truly a killer which he excels at. He also is commonly quoted for “no chick-flic moments” (or calls it gay which eventually became socially unacceptable so the show stopped) which the brothers are both terrible at when it comes to dealing with and expressing emotions in a healthy manner and hugging. Seriously, hugs. Does this mean that unless they were little kids, their Dad barely hugged them? They only seem to do hugs when it’s been a while, when it’s omg you’re injured, or something similar. He doesn’t do relationships unless wholly platonic except for Lisa Bradley which I never fully understood that.

I need to rewatch and get a better understanding of the background because it seems like it was the only time the brothers are ever happy are when they’re with a partner or each other. It’s not surprising that being alone is something neither can handle. With the way things were in grained in them, they still end up sleeping reaching out for each other, their arms hanging off the bed, since they were their only comfort growing up. It’s a lot to ask anyone, let alone a child.

He, in reality, is a complete geek; I love this about him. All of his pop culture references, including Disney, and even some of the amazing books he quotes or references, such as Kurt Vonnegut and Tolstoy. He knows Aesop and actually knows his Christian Bible. The man is extremely intellectual and intelligent, such as the first episode where the voicemail their Dad left had EMF on the background which Dean had to lean what is and how to use Goldwave in order to better identify and understand the voice leading them to the “Woman in White” case.

Dean’s mental health is wholly other issue, omfg. I was originally going to do an entire post on his mental health but thought I would discuss here instead. I think Dean has PTSD, Adhd, depression and general anxiety disorder. I’m sure could be more or something different but I am most knowledgeable with these. He self-medicates— alcohol — which is probably partially taught from his father, John. With the amount of loss/grief he has experienced, I feel he has compartmentalized his experiences as a hunter, a trauma response, to allow him to function. This would mean his brain separates the actual experience (fighting/killing) from the emotions he experiences during this which could include sadness. I do think Dean was raised, essentially poor which is why he eats so much and eats what he loves instead of what is good for him, like Sam. Dean had to sacrifice for Sam and this is how he dealt with it. As an adult, he is a glutton for what makes him feel good from food to sex to watching Scooby Doo, a leftover from his childhood as well.

He was forced to grow up to take care of his little brother who was allowed a sort of childhood, and I feel like due to network rules that what really happened when their father was away was actually worse than what could be told like the stealing and thieving. I feel like Dean is an ex-smoker. I feel like Dean should have tattoos as a form of rebellion against his Dad’s expectations of him or as a way to individualize/separate himself from his father. I also wonder if he would have taken abuse from others in order to provide for his little brother.

I mean he was physically abused by John when Sam ran away as a kid and even as an adult in his mid-20s (at the time), he was upset about it but it was never discussed further. He doesn’t deal with his mental health unless it is forced upon him.

When he was with Lisa Bradley, he still drank heavily because of all his trauma and mental health issues that he attempted to ignore. He still was paranoid that something would happen to his family. He still kept weaponry and taught his adopted son how to use it as precaution. He was always the last to go to bed because being a protector has been so in grained into his identity, it is second nature.

Sam is next

#dean winchester #supernatural #elle em bee #Dean studies #character studies #character study #spn

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sarah-dipitous · 10 months

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Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 184

The Great Escapist/A Town Called Mercy

“The Great Escapist”

Plot Description: After receiving a message from Kevin, Sam and Dean try to uncover the third trial. They boys make a discovery that sends them to a casino in Colorado

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: No one died, so…sure

Dean, you should be grateful and PROUD that Kevin is vigilant for demons

Oh GOD…it did seem too easy, too…convenient that Sam and Dean just FOUND Kevin. Of course they’re demons playing the roles in some strange illusion Crowley has set up

Dean’s taking Kevin’s non-dead death really hard. It’s gotta be really hard for him right now. Sam’s declining, Cas is who knows where, Kevin’s (not) dead.

I said Cas is who knows where but I did see Misha’s name in the opening credits. He’s in Santa Fe, apparently and super on the run from heaven

There are few times I would want to be Dean, but I think I’ve almost never wanted to be him LESS than I do right now. I’m not saying Sam’s right or wrong to want to go to Colorado, but I am saying his brain is getting cooked by whatever the trials are doing to him

Please tell me the angels didn’t kill everyone in that Biggersons to keep Castiel there for a second, just long enough to catch him. Well……..all but one person

Fuck. Naomi sucks, I just want Abbadon back

There aren’t too many demons on this show that I like, but these yes man teen demons are funny

SAM!! REST!!! Stop tryin to do shit

For as shitty as he can be, Crowley has STYLE

Nothing like watching Crowley reach and dig in to Castiel’s abdomen (not ANY kind of euphemism) on your lunch break

Oh Sammmmm. He didn’t think he was good even as a child

Every time I see this actor on New Girl, I think “that’s Metatron” and when I saw him today I went “that’s the principal at Jess’s school”

I don’t…this is some sort of tricky trap from Metatron, not having heard of the Winchesters

Omg…the…the demons were too NICE to Kevin. (Reminds me of how Dean realized Azazel had possessed John)

Oh. THIS is the episode Castiel shoves a bullet into another angel’s eye and kills him

I do like how Metatron describes the act of creating and telling stories

I’m SORRY??? What did Kevin just do?? Did Metatron just abduct him? STOP ABDUCTING PEOPLE

I’m so glad that’s one load off of Dean’s shoulder, Kevin’s not dead

How do you cure a demon??

Well that’s awfully convenient that they almost run over a TERRIBLY INJURED Cas. Did he try to teleport into the car and miss?

I love how Sam was like “we’re moving toward the end” babes, you got seven more seasons of this bullshit and so do I

“A Town Called Mercy”

Plot Description: The Doctor finds himself a reluctant marshal in a Western town hiding a secret

Theres…something really sad about this being the second episode in a row that the Doctor has mentioned having a Christmas list…

I barely remember this episode, but I’m intrigued by it

“Why would he want to kill you? Unless he’s met you” the number of characters I love who this could be said to

Between Mercy here and Refuge in TAZ, old western-y towns have don’t really good names and mission statements

The problem with this episode is that Westerns largely bore me. Not to say that there isn’t more to it because it’s obviously also sci-fi

Uh oh…the doctor they ran into isn’t the kindly old alien he led us to believe

Uh ohhhhhhhh…oh this dude sucks. Good. I’m glad the cyborg he created is hunting him down

What happened to the man who never would, though?

Good on you, Amy, telling him off.

Quite the promotion the Doctor and Amy got…following a hell of an ultimatum: bring the doctor to the gunslinger by noon or he kills the whole torn

No, for real, any time he has to deal with a group of scared people, it’s terrible and it almost never turns out right

Who else recently just sacrificed their life to make the end of the episode easier?? I know it happened but I can’t remember who it was

#hellsite nostalgia tour 2023

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becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys · 2 years

Text

Doctor Who, but Chronologically 24

Finally! We’ve made it to the 1900s! Ooh, it feels just like playing Civilisation when you change an era.

Anyway, Whittaker is back, it’s 1904 and we’re watching Survivors of the Flux. We know a bit about the Flux already, in that we basically know it exists and a pair of beautiful geode people have possibly caused it. Anyway, it continues.

We start with a partial answer to a hanging plot thread! “What’s with the statues you mustn’t blink at?” I think we’ve now met them - at the beginning of the episode the Doctor is a statue, and crumbles into herself again and is surrounded by a fuck ton of statues, all shaped like angels. The Doctor calls them Weeping Angels, and in trying to get them to answer her questions, makes a point of blinking at them. It doesn’t work. They say they’re transporting her. Then she lands on a spaceship called Division and they play no further part so we still have no clue what on Earth is up with them and what they are and why blinking of all things is so relevant.

ANYWAY a lot of plot happens here. An extremely well-acted woman called Tecteun and a man with intestines for a mouth and a glowy ball for a speechbox called Ood are here, and apparently are fleeing the old universe which is being destroyed by the Flux (another answer!) and going to a new universe which is not. Ood seems to be a sort of servant. Tecteun is a sort of wankshaft. She joyfully explains that Division is basically the British Empire but in SPACE, and it spends its time steering other planets and civilisations to do whatever it wants, and in the new universe she’s going to reintroduce all the genetic samples of species from the old universe like a shitty space version of the American Acclimatization Society because FUCK NATIVE ECOSYSTEMS my god but this is a villain that is getting particularly on my last fucking tit. But they know the Doctor would stop them so they’re bringing her along, and also, they caused the Flux.

The Doctor has an excellent conversation with Ood where she tries to convince him to help her stop it, because the rest of Ood’s kind - also called Ood - are in that universe. He says it’s too late to stop. She says that’s her specialty. “I’m good at pulling rabbits out of hats,” the Doctor says. “I have no rabbits,” Ood says. “It’s a metaphor.” “Nor hats.”

I howled.

Anyway he does decide to try and help. But then she gets distracted by a whispering fobwatch, and ooh! We’ve had that set up! David Tennant told Jackson Lake that legend has it a Timelord’s memories can be stored in a fobwatch! Turns out it’s true here. She confronts Tecteun, and then OMG SPILL THE TEA SIS so Tecteun has taken a shit ton of the Doctor’s memories and past lives, and the Doctor has no idea how many, and it turns out Tecteun IS HER MAM and she found the Doctor under a wormhole to the next universe so maybe that’s where she’s really from?!? Also the flashback shows that the Doctor’s first form there was a black woman (well; girl, she was a child), and I am fucking delighted, and I bet Gallifrey Base was like a WW1 trench after that particular reveal.

And then the geode people turn up and kill Tecteun, so that’s that problem solved.

MEANWHILE, Yaz is trotting the globe in 1904 trying to find a precise date for when aliens will try and invade Earth now the Flux has made it vulnerable. She has enlisted two companions of her own to help, Dan and Eustacius Jericho. I adore Jericho. He is extremely charismatic and somehow manages to be the comic relief in spite of John Bishop being his co-star. I could watch a whole series of the whacky hijinks of these three. It turns out they never pay for more than two beds aboard a passenger liner, and they make Dan sleep under the bed for barely-explained reasons. At one point they go to find a hermit, who absolutely steals the entire show, shout out to him. He tells them to “Fetch their dog.” They try painting a message around the Great Wall of China - in the future, Karvanista, a dog man, just mutters that he doesn’t have time travel and ignores them.

But, they get attacked repeatedly by people with serpent tattoos who try to kill them. Why?

Well, meanwhile again, some bellend who has chosen to call himself the Grand Serpent is wandering through Earth’s history and trying to ingratiate himself into a zippy new taskforce called UNIT, designed to deal with extra-terrestrial threats (uh, this is... different from Torchwood. But also full of so many Classic Who references. Love the audio cameo of Nicholas Courtney. I bet him being called a corporal has made Gallifrey Base freak out about UNIT dating all over again). He can kill people by making them imagine they’re being suffocated by snakes. Real gross. In the end someone called Kate (a Redgrave! How exciting) tells him to go fuck himself and he tries to blow her up. She survives and calls someone called Osgood (Clara again???), saying she has to go dark. Then she rips her own phone in half with her bare hands, which seems somewhat excessive.

Eventually, Yaz and her companions make it to Liverpool, and that Victorian guy we saw before is revealed to be Joseph Williamson, the Mad Mole. His tunnels apparently lead to doorways into other planets and times somehow.

And then Sontarans invade! Helped by the Grand Serpent! You know, it is incredible just how much the main villains of this show are Sontarans if you watch it in this very stupid order. Cybermen? I met one once. Daleks? I don’t know her. Sontarans? Ah! Our fun Welsh potato aliens, of course, the chief monsters of the show Doctor Who, yes. Of course it’s Sontarans. It’s always Sontarans when shit gets serious.

Uh, to round off, Vinder the beautiful man who almost became a Mori/Mwri/Muairi with Yaz got pulled into a big robot called a Passenger and has found Dan’s friend Di. And a Northern Irish woman with a Tamagotchi is with Karvanista now.

A lot happened in that one that we have just no answers for at all, so weird. Almost like no one should watch this show in this order.

Let’s update the list of plot threads! Amazingly, we can actually tick some off now, like what the Flux is and who the Victorian is.

“She” (an unknown person) is returning (perhaps River returned as Missy. Maybe Me? Maybe Clara???!)

There is something on Donna’s back

An entire planet, Pyrovilia, just… disappeared, somehow. (Maybe because the TARDIS is exploding??? Saturnine was also lost, and that WAS because of the TARDIS exploding. The lion man’s planet was also lost but he was a bit of a knob about it if I’m honest.)

Amy is maybe dead (she’s not)

The Doctor has been cubed (he’s out, but how?)

River is possibly blown up (unless she’s Missy)

The TARDIS has blown up (It’s fine now. Except it’s sort of melting now because it’s corrupted, but it’s fine again)

The universe appears to have ended (the universe is back again)

The Doctor has employed(?) Nardole (And Nardole was “reassembled???”)

There’s a vault in the TARDIS and it contains Missy but we don’t know why (sometimes she knocks for the bants)

What has happened to all these companions and where are the new ones coming from?

There’s an immortal Viking girl now. Her name is Me and she’s now looking after the people the Doctor abandons

What’s With The Silence?

Why was Rory entirely unconcerned by the entire world suddenly going silent when that is Not Normal and should have been, at the very least, extremely disconcerting?

What did the Doctor do to Queen Lizzie One?

Who is Captain Jack Harkness? (Is he the one who gave the companions a warning about the lone cyberman?)

Why is Amy seeing a one-eyed woman in a vanishing window?

What’s with the Doctor’s future involving getting shot by an astronaut?

Is Amy pregnant and why is it inconclusive?

Who is Sarah-Jane Smith?

How is the Doctor Bill’s teacher and why/where does he have an office?

What is going on with the Cyber War and the Cyberium???

Who did the Doctor lose to Cyber Conversion?

What happened with the Other Cyber War?

What happened with the Third War that deleted the void?

Why does Rose seem particularly important?

What’s with the statues you mustn’t blink at? (NW INFO: they are called Weeping Angels, but we don’t know why you can’t blink yet)

What order do these Doctors go in? (Eccleston, Tennant, uncertain, Smith, Capaldi.)

Which companion just... forgot the Doctor, and how?

Yaz and Vinder are about to die as Mori/Mwri/Muuri

There is a Lupari shield around Earth.

What’s a Time War?

What’s the Rift?

What’s Bad Wolf?

What happened with Amy’s pregnancy?

In which war did the Doctor become a war criminal, and how?

Who is the Master?

Why has Amy forgotten Rory?

Is Rory plastic or not?

Why is the Doctor sulking on a cloud?

How exactly does the Doctor have a cloud?

What exactly happened with Strax to, uh, tame him?

Which friend killed Strax?

Which friend brought Strax back?

Where did this lesbian lizard and human couple come from?

What happened with Clara as Souffle Girl and the Daleks?

How does Clara actually join?

Why so many Claras?

Why is Missy apparently in robo-heaven?

Why is probably!Missy pushing Clara and the Doctor together?

What is Trensilor and what happened there?

Who is Handles?

The Doctor is about to be dissolved by a beautiful geode man

The universe is being crushed by the Flux

Will the Doctor open the fobwatch?

Sontarans are invading Earth again

Who is Kate?

Who is Osgood? Another name of Clara’s again?

The fuck is the deal with the Grand Serpent

#doctor whom #and yet we are continuing

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jockpoetry · 3 years

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supernatural sees women as a tool for development and strengthening of narratives/motivation and dean sees his body as a tool. is that anything?

When I saw this ask I really made the 🥴in real life. So, yeah anon, I do think there’s something to this.

Quick Disclaimer before I actually launch into my thoughts™: A lot of my read of Dean stems from my experience as both an oldest daughter and a transman. Being the oldest daughter was an experience I lived for many years, but I am also a man. I wasn’t raised as a man, I wasn’t socialized as a man, and even though once I came out upon reflection my masculinity was obviously there. Like I was a man™ before I knew I was a man. Even when I actively tied my identity to femininity for a long time! A lot of my prideful moments were based around statements like: “I was the only girl who (fill in the blank).”

So I am just putting that out there before I launch into my spiel about Dean/Gender/Tool because they all interlock for me.

I am also going to apologize in advance because I know this has fully gone off the rails and I’m not even done writing it yet. If this is incomprehensible ! Well, happens to the best of us.

First off, most importantly I guess before we discuss womanhood and Dean and the way both are utilized on the show I need to say that I personally don’t subscribe the whole Dean is female coded thing.

It’s a read I can absolutely understand. But for me..he’s not.

He’s a hypermasculine man to the point that when (and because he is written as a punchline, as the stupid™ brother, as the whore™, as the mother/father™, as daddy’s blunt instrument™, etc) Dean deviates from the pre-accepted definition of hypermasculine it’s Wrong.

It’s Instantly Feminine.

I think the internet has made the world very black and white, or blue and pink maybe. This point, I think, colors a lot of these discussions. Dean cooks, he cleans and so therefor he’s female coded. When that really just feeds back into the whole toxic masculinity loop. You can’t be masculine and cook and clean and cry. That’s for feminine people only.

I get the argument! I do, I just think that Dean’s actions are not inherently feminine, it’s just in the vacuum of Female and in the Absence of Traditional Masculinity it makes sense to assign him female coded and move on.

IN FACT the way that Dean is the action hero of the show, the Masculine™ one on the show - but he cries, and he rages, and he cooks (Again and Again) and cleans (Again and Again). The fact he’s macho and confident but he has so little self esteem. Is frankly insane to me. You have this blaze of glory character who is so depressed that they have him kill himself. Twice. In explicitly “I hate myself, I hate hearing all the things I hate about myself, I want to destroy myself” ways.

On just a regular ol’ network show that is just ungodly bad at times. They let their Male Hero cry - all the time (if I linked every example of this the essay would be...longer than it already is, but just take my word for it). Dean tears up and grieves and shows more than just Angry Horny Violent™ (he shows plenty of that, don’t get me wrong) but he’s Emotional (Again and Again and Again). In many different ways!

I mean, beyond even just tearing up, they make their Male Hero™ face sexual violence in pretty, uniquely horrifying - and queer! - ways.

Let’s make it clear, they did a lot of this unintentionally.

Or they do it as a joke.

Off of dean for a moment to say women are plot devices in this show. I could probably count on one hand female characters who have sincere depth to them that have roles outside of progressing plot, filling a filler episode, and who are still alive. Like even characters such as Charlie who are wholly developed, and interesting, are only remembered/mentioned/utilized to progress plots or fill an episode out - and then she dies. For pain™ for plot™ for no other reason than to traumatize a character.

Which let’s also make it clear Dean’s trauma is also only used as a plot device (as is Sam’s but in a different way, and Cas’ trauma is a whole other barrel of fish we’re not gonna dive into right now). Like wholesale full stop they don’t actually care about what happened to him. Unless it’s relevant in an episode.

Oh that boys home he was left at when he was 16 for months? Sure we’ll sprinkle that in in the back half of the series. Oh he was covered in bruises and said it was from a hunt (when it’s clear contextually they were from his father but saying the fantastical but true is easier than saying the uncomfortable but true). As Dean says though the story became the story, he was sixteen. He just went along with what John said.

We only see Dean ever truly rage at John, by the way, when either Dean is dead (when he’s between life and death and he rages at John, right before John “apologizes” for traumatizing him, for putting too much on Dean’s shoulders, and fucking dying) or John is dead (the Djinn episode where Dean is straight™ and John is dead™ and he goes to his grave and just yells and rages like he should have to his father in the real world).

Dean’s trauma from being both tortured and torturer in hell? Yeah, we don’t talk about that after it’s Relevant™. Even though it’s clear - especially in the demon!dean, mark of cain era, all those years later - Alastair still has his hooks inside of Dean. I stopped watching originally after s8 ended. I was fed up with the show, and with this whole renaissance I’ve been doing a rewatch and I’m into season twelve now and it really has never come up again.

Even when he had the mark of cain and he was tasked with questioning and accused of torturing it was “the mark has changed you” and not “you were victim and victimizer in hell for forty years, which is longer than you’ve been alive on earth” (and, was about as long as he wound up living. Which is desperately sad.

Because we talk about Sam’s desire for a “normal” life but, Dean wanted out too. He was tired in the first few seasons of this show, he never had a chance to taste freedom (we don’t count the boys home, because that was a different kind of regimented life, and it was a false freedom) the way that Sam did in Flagstaff with Bones or at Stanford with Jessica. Love for Dean is sacrificing, it’s putting himself/his happiness/his well-being last.

Because Dean only knows love in the context of violence (like all of these fun examples, for starters) is a phrase that I’ve said a lot both in private chats and on here, and I absolutely think it goes to him being a tool (a blunt instrument, a plot device, so both textually and metatextually) instead of a person. Which Cas sees Dean’s shame/guilt and sees that side of Dean because he touched his soul, and saw more than just the Righteous™ man, more than just the tool, he saw A good man, not a machine.

On the other side though you have how “bad guys” view Dean: Desperate, Sloppy, Needy, Dean’s hole (Again), which is again so wildly counterintuitive to the story of a Macho Man Hero™. You’re using vocabulary that is both queering him and feminizing (and I know this a meme format, but sincerely it is done in a derogatory way it is feminizing. It’s breaking him down to bare parts, to a sloppy hole).

My whole rewatch I have been absolutely fascinated by how identity and free will is utilized/conceptualized on this show. Castiel has been my main focus, but Dean and how he is framed by himself and others is...fascinating - and frustrating. The writers inconsistency lends itself not only to this unintentionally queer character, but also one that again is incredibly easily read as a non-traditionally masculine character.

As a feminine character.

This show has so few female characters that of course it had to foist the roles/behaviors/plots that a female character might have onto a male character. Which I think is part of why reading Dean as trans (either transmasc, or transfemme) is so easily done like.

Half of these are shit posts, but you can find trans allegories/textual evidence in this show again, again, again, again, and again. And this is unintentional, they don’t want you to look at Dean and see woman, former future or present. Like a lot of these I’m sure are punchlines for them, because women/queer folk are punchlines to them.

Sometimes the only women in an episode are random witnesses who get two sentences of dialogue, and then the main guest character is a man. Who flirts with Dean, and Dean is receptive to it.

They paint themselves into a corner, there are female Rabbi. So easily could Aaron have been a woman instead of a man, but they made the choice to play up the HaHa Dean & Men card.

Because, again, Dean has filled the slot of Woman™ of Female Lead™ and the flirting would’ve been straight if Dean was a woman. It’s a plot device, they needed to have the guest character be disarming, be cute, make the main character flustered.

It’s just the main character is a man, because they’re allergic to women. But they still need those female plots, tools of femininity, to move their show forward. I mean I am a big subscriber to transmasc Jo (no idea if anyone else is with me on this one, but let me explain). Jo is in love with Dean (concept) not Dean (actuality). Which, we’ve all had our eggs cracked by someone like that. We were in love with them until we realized we just wanted to be them.

He loved her like a little sister, she loved him like a lost idol. He’s a golden calf and she dies for him, because she believed in him, she was the original character dashed at the altar of the Winchesters.

I fully believe if she had lived and if this show had a crumb of actual good writing Jo could have been a deeply compelling transmasc character. But I also think she’s a fascinating inversion of Dean. Dean is a Masculine Character who subverts Toxic Masculinity, Jo is a Tomboy™ she’s not your (if you take it straight, literally and metaphorically) average female love interest. She’s angry, she’s not soft at all, all edges and corners and thorns. She isn’t helpless, she’s stubborn but not in a “you’re going to get punished for this” way. She’s right when she’s stubborn. She’s helpful, she’s a martyr.

I could do a whole other essay just on Jo (and Ellen, and Ash, what a fucking trio!) but needless to say Jo was one of the first...plot device feminine tools sacrificed to this show. She was a regular, she was unique, she was an engaging character, and she still died (to progress the plot? no. for man pain? yeah, for like three episodes maybe, and then it’s forgotten just like the rest of Dean’s trauma, as we mentioned above).

Dean and Women and Love is a very interesting tool used too because. Boy they sure try to make Dean love women and it fails in small ways, and in big, meaningless, failed het domesticity (again) ways. Not to mention whatever Lust (in the form of a woman) having no effect upon him, when they could have used that moment to assert his Masculinity and Heterosexuality. He behaved normally? And...also...whatever the fuck the Adios thing was!

Like they have these opportunities to make him Traditionally (toxically) Masculine, but make the choice to...not? To soften him. Because it’s a tool. He’s their female lead, textually he had to take on the role of mother(/father) to Sam, but...I mean this is a million miles long already. I know, but we absolutely can’t not talk about his Paternal/Maternal behaviors. (Which appear again and again again and again, outside of his relationship with Sam even/especially). He’s the mother hen, sage, safety net, beacon, home to so many side characters they meet.

I mean in many ways Jody is also a Dean comparison. Lost her family. Found a new family. She is non-traditionally feminine, but easily flustered and Silly™ (let’s just drop the entire sex talk over family dinner scene with Alex and the boys and looking to them for help, even though she was already a mother, and she’s a cop, and a hunter and this confident no nonsense individual.... She’s not). We are meant to see her as this hard ass, but she makes extra food for the boys to take back to the bunker. She’s deadly in a fight, but also still easily overwhelmed and put into damsel mode, and she cares so much even in the face of adversity.

It’s also fun to see how Jo | Jody are reflections of Dean at different points of his life. Younger, cocky | Older, settled.

Even when the text tries to tell us that he’s not.

When it reminds us that he’s violent. That he is his father, even if he says that Sam is more like John (which was reflexive, which was angry because of Adam and how Sam was behaving like Dean in that episode, and yes there are parallels to be drawn between Sam and John, the show barely dives into them). Instead we’re told that Dean is John (Again and Again and Again and Again).

So intensely that a fanfictionalized version of the Winchester Gospels makes it an entire fucking musical number.

And yet, despite the texts insistence to make Dean Macho Man Father Reborn™ We get this Dean who is silly (and directly compared/contrasted to the female character in this scene), soft, in heels, nagging, and... Sully (you know Sam’s imaginary friend who has the same Haircut Dean has, who is a softer, shorter, friendlier, campier, version of Dean who was a replacement For Dean until the real one let Sam back in? That? Sully?) it’s hard to take them seriously.

Hell, even when he was A DEMON? What did they do? They had him sing off-key drunken karaoke, they had him doing this ! Like that’s your hero, unhinged, free to be as bad as he could be, and you put him in a cowboy hat in a romance with the king of hell.

The Female Lead, everyone. Who’s biggest betrayal(s) comes at the hands of his love interest (again, a man even though it was an angel who could’ve taken any vessel! who could’ve been recast, who canonically dies admitting his love to Dean - that one), who he tries so hard to be loyal to.

The contradictions of his character are laughable. He is so emotional, but if he is engaged about his emotions? He shuts down, or he’s exasperated about being asked about them. It really is Female Lead/Only Here For The Plot disease, because everything is more important than him. How’s he doing? Doesn’t matter outside of the context of how x character is doing or that y character is dead. Or his emotions only matter if they’re done in penance.

They also really do frame him as Pretty Boy™ in a violent way, or in a derogatory manner. They’ll give us homoerotic shots like this or these and never really acknowledge how these are gay shots. Sorry the gun scene is a a straight up sex scene, the beer sip spilling out over his mouth is oral, the scene where Cas fills up Dean’s glass with whisky is also a sex scene, they do this shit on purpose but accidentally queer it up. If Dean was a woman these scenes wouldn’t even matter. They’d be passing moments, but because he is not just a man but A Man™ they’re insane to see.

Not to mention all of these scenes and all the ones I haven’t linked where Dean dresses up. He performs masculinity, but he performs femininity too. He’s a plot device that is slotted in to whatever role they need. He’s Super Straight Butch Man™ but coaches the lesbian on how to successfully flirt with a man. He’s Action Hero™ who sits through a montage with the same lesbian and yays and nays her outfits, and enjoys himself.

Fuck he loves dressing up, he feels better in these costumes because performing a character is easier than being himself. Because who is Dean? He’s a tool, both textually and metatextually. It is exactly how the women and because of the women on the show that Dean is the way that he is. If there was a more steady female presence Dean would not be half as much of a plot device or half as camp/gay/feminine/non-traditionally masculine/queer coded as he is.

In conclusion....

#dean winchester #supernatural #spn meta #spn #gender #anon #replies #messages #my writing #ANYWAYS PHEW okay anon i don't know if i even fully got to your point but i woke up at like 3:30 to this ask and i've been fixated on it #HOPE THIS IS EVEN JUST a little bit coherent #the way i meant for this to talk so much more about transness and eldest daughter syndrome and just FORGOT #oops #oh well

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fireinmoonshot · 3 years

Text

SPIDER | BUCKY BARNES x READER | PART FIVE

CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER.

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR Summary: Bucky doesn’t know what to make of you when he meets you. You’re friends with Sharon, and you seem pretty easy to read on the surface. But the more time he spends with you, the more he seems to uncover, and the more he becomes tangled in the web you unwittingly weave. Pairing: female!Reader x Bucky Barnes Fandom: Marvel / The Falcon and the Winter Soldier Word Count: 2,501 Warnings: SPOILERS FOR THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER. A/N: I had honestly intended to squeeze the rest of Episode 4 into this part but this one particular scene ended up being longer than I’d expected it to be, so I decided to put it all into one part and I’ll just do the rest in another part. Especially because this particular scene is quite important to the relationship between Bucky and reader. Thank you once again for reading and do let me know your thoughts!

The plan had been simple. The four of you were going to head to Donya’s funeral and try and talk to Karli. Sam had spoken to Sharon – you’d been a little annoyed that you hadn’t been able to talk to her, though you’d pushed that to the side for now – and settled on a plan.

Not too long after your conversation with Bucky, you’d left Zemo’s apartment to head to the location of the funeral. And then you’d turned a corner and spotted the unmistakable suit of blue and red. The wannabe Captain America had found you.

“Karli Morgenthau is too dangerous for you guys to be pulling this shit!” Walker calls, heading down a flight of stairs at speed towards you. It’s the first time you’ve ever seen the man in person and honestly, you’re not phased by him. Even when you’d seen Steve Rogers on TV, it was obvious how different he was, how special. To you, John Walker seems like nothing more than someone trying to be something that they aren’t. It irritates you to see him in the suit.

Bucky rolls his eyes. “Ah! How’d you find us now?”

Despite the fact that there were several people on the street, attention hadn’t been on you before. Now that Captain America was here, and yelling at that, every single set of eyes was on you. You shrink a little at the attention, shoving your hands deep into the pockets of your coat and shuffling a little closer to Bucky and Sam.

Bucky notices and moves closer to you unintentionally.

Lemar chuckles. “Come on. You really think two Avengers can walk around Latvia without drawing attention?”

“We were certainly doing fine before now,” you mutter.

“No more keeping us in the dark,” Walker continues. “You could start by telling us why you broke him out of prison. And who the hell this new chick is and why she’s with you. Last I checked, she’s not an Avenger.”

Bucky stands a little taller. “He did that himself, technically. And she’s a friend, not a chick. That’s all you need to know about her.”

“Oh, this better be an unbelievable explanation!”

Sam steps up and holds a hand up to stop Walker as the two groups finally come together. “Hey, take it easy before it gets weird.”

Walker looks pissed off. Honestly, you feel the same way.

“I know where Karli is,” Zemo steps up. He says the words, figures that they’re all he needs to get by and starts to go around Walker, intending to lead the way. Instead, Walker stops him.

“Well, where?”

“All we know is, it’s a memorial. So we’re gonna intercept her there.”

You look past Zemo and spot one of the children he’d been speaking to earlier watching you all anxiously. The sight of her makes you want to throw a punch Zemo’s way, and you hate that he made this innocent child trust him so easily. Bucky can sense the change in you. He nudges your shoulder with his and you snap to look at him. He doesn’t need to say anything for you to understand what he means.

“That means civilians. High risk of casualties,” Lemar adds.

“All right, good, we’ll move in fast. Take her by surprise.”

You roll your eyes. “Good? How is that good?”

Bucky snorts.

Sam ignores both of you. “No, I wanna talk to her alone.”

“I’m not losing her again,” Walker shakes his head.

“Look, the person closest to her died, she’s vulnerable. If there’s any time to reason with her, it’s now,” Sam argues.

The words strike a chord with Walker. He hurries ahead in front of all of you, forcing you to stop. “What? No. Wait, no! No! Stop. Hold on. Stop, okay? I think we’re way past reasoning with her, unless you forgot that she blew up a building with people still in it.”

Lemar agrees. “Sam, you walk in there cold, she could kill you.”

“And if I go in hot and the op goes wrong, more people will die.”

You step forward. “Then I’ll go in. Karli doesn’t know who the hell I am, and maybe it’d help – woman to woman, you know? And hey, if something goes wrong and I die, at least it’s not an Avenger dying at her hands. It’s just me.”

Bucky’s head snaps up at your words. Fear strangely spikes in his veins that you’d even suggest that and he shakes his head instantly. “No. No way are we sending you in there alone.”

“I mean, it’s not a bad idea,” Walker admits with a shrug of his shoulders. “Look at the alternative. You letting your partner walk into a room with a Super Soldier alone. Would you really let him do that?”

“He’s dealt with worse. And he’s not my partner.” He says straight-faced. “And she is not going in there either. It’s a damn bad idea and we all know it is.” He turns to you. “You included.”

Sam sighs and walks past the both of you so he’s face to face with Walker. “I used to counsel soldiers dealing with trauma, okay? This is right in my wheelhouse.”

“Yeah, I know. And I know those soldiers, which is why I know this is a bad idea. That’s why it’s a better idea to send the girl in there – like she said, it’s better her dying than an Avenger, right?”

You see Bucky take a step forward out of the corner of your eye and twist to stand in front of him before he can get to Walker, a hand going out in front of you and resting on his chest. You push him gently. “Don’t, Bucky.”

“You’re not going in there.”

He feels protective. He doesn’t know why, but Sam has an idea. He watches the two of you, sees something pass between you, and furrows his eyebrows. He hadn’t seen it coming, that’s for sure. Hadn’t seen you to be the one to bring out the ever protective side of Bucky Barnes that Sam really hasn’t seen in a long time. He hadn’t seen Bucky acting this way over anyone. And yet here you were, days after meeting him, making Bucky fear for your life on your behalf. Sam doesn’t know what to think.

Bucky lets out a long, shaky breath and then finally looks at you and meets your eyes, tearing his glare away from Walker. “You’re not going.”

“Okay, fine,” you relent, voice soft. “I won’t go in there.”

He steps back and nods, trying to calm himself down, and you step away from him, not wanting to crowd him too much after your apparently bad idea. You hadn’t expected him to react so much. In fact, you’d expected Sam to be all for the idea, and for Bucky to go along with it. Even if he was starting to trust you, his reaction to your suggestion had been entirely surprising. You stare down at the cobblestoned street beneath your feet and frown. What was he thinking? And why had he reacted that way?

“John,” Lemar starts, once he senses the tension has gone down a little. “If Sam can talk her down, it might be worth a try. And since we’ve just established that she’s not going in there…”

Walker and Sam share a look before Walker finally gives up. He looks over at Zemo. “We’ll deal with you later.”

“I’m sure it will all come to an agreeable conclusion. My associate is just up ahead.” Zemo points to the child and begins the walk towards her again.

You, unwillingly, follow him. Bucky makes sure he stays close to your side, as if he’s afraid that you’re going to run off and do something reckless. You doubt he’d let you get the chance.

A few minutes into the walk, he finally talks to you. But his voice is quiet. You’re walking at the back of the group and he doesn’t want anyone else to hear. “Why would you even suggest going in there to talk to Karli?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” You frown. “It seemed like the best idea.”

He shakes his head. “You dying is not a good idea.”

“What does it matter, anyway? I said it. I’m not an Avenger. It was a good idea. And I think it could have worked if you’d let me. No one would miss me.”

Bucky raises his eyebrows. “Yeah, I find that hard to believe.”

“No, it’s true!”

“What about Sharon, huh? She’d miss you.”

You kick at a loose stone on the road. “She hasn’t even spoken to me since I left.”

“What about me, then?”

His question takes you by surprise. “You?”

He nods. “Yeah, what about me?”

“You would miss me?” You could laugh. “Sure. You barely know me.”

Bucky feels weirdly irritated by your words. He knows you, he thinks. He knows that he likes you. That you understand him better than any stranger he’s met recently. He knows that you scare him a little bit. That your way of thinking, of reacting, of simply being sets him on edge and makes him feel right at home all at the same time. He clears his throat, tries to come up with an answer that isn’t conspicuous and settles on: “I think I know enough about you to know that I’d notice when you’re not here.”

“That’s not the same thing as missing, Bucky.”

He opens his mouth to reply just as Zemo announces that you’ve arrived and the two of you are forced to pause your conversation. The child leads you into the back entrance of an old building and then disappears. No one questions the location.

As soon as you’re inside, your conversation with Bucky is long forgotten and the mission takes first place. Sam goes off on his own, heading further in while Walker handcuffs Zemo and claims that Sam has ten minutes before you do this his way.

You sidle up to Bucky. “Can I punch him now, or do you want the honour?” You mutter, only loud enough for him to hear. He smirks at your words, though you can see he’s still obviously on edge by the whole situation.

And not just by the situation. Because of you, too. Though you don’t need to know that, Bucky thinks. That, he can just keep to himself.

After a few minutes of silence, Bucky heads towards the stairs that Sam had gone up and leans on the railing, as if guarding the entrance. You suppose he probably is, not wanting Walker to get past him, and decide to settle down on the steps themselves, adding another barrier between Walker, Sam and Karli despite the fact that you’re honestly probably not much of a barrier compared to Bucky.

It doesn’t take long for Walker to get on your nerves. He’s clearly anxious about Sam wanting to simply reason with Karli instead of kill her on sight. He’s staring at the shield – the very shield that Bucky wants to steal – and you briefly wonder how he’s going to do it. Simply by the way Walker is holding it, you know he’s not going to give it up easily. He holds it tight, like it’s the most important thing in the world to him, and you feel like it probably is.

He starts pacing less than ten minutes after Sam leaves.

“Uh-uh. No, no, no. This is a bad idea,” he mumbles as he walks.

“It hasn’t been ten minutes, John. Just sit tight,” Bucky offers.

Walker speaks with venom in his voice. “Don’t do that. Don’t patronise me.”

“He knows what he’s doing.” Bucky is unaffected.

Tension rises in the air between all of you once again, as it always seems to do when Walker is around. It’s been a constant state of tension ever since he joined you.

He walks towards the end of the room, pauses for a moment, and then you can see the way his face changes. He hoists the shield higher, and then walks at speed towards you and Bucky. “I’m going in.”

Bucky stands up and stops him with a hand to his chest.

Walker, surprisingly, backs up. You think he’s going to listen to Bucky for just a moment before he looks up, staring at Bucky with a look you’ve only ever seen in a few people before, and never good people at that. You sit up straighter.

“This is all really easy for you, isn’t it?” He starts. “All that serum running through your veins. Barnes, your partner needs backup in there. Do you really want his blood on your hands?”

You can’t see the look on Bucky’s face, but you have a feeling you know how he’s looking at Walker. Slowly, you rise to your feet, placing a hand on Bucky’s shoulder.

“Back up, John,” you warn. “If Sam needed our help, we’d know.”

His eyes flicker to you. “Who do you think you are? I don’t even know you. What makes you think I’d listen to you?” He scoffs. “I’m John Walker. Captain America. You’re not an Avenger. You’re no one special, so I think you should be backing up.”

Bucky’s glare hardens. He narrows his eyes and takes a step towards Walker.

“Watch your mouth, John.”

Walker stares between the two of you for a few moments, and then before you know it, he slams the shield into your stomach, knocking you off to the side, and disappears up the stairs and into the building after Sam. You gasp for breath, the wind having been knocked right out of you.

“Asshole,” Bucky hisses, stepping towards you just as Lemar brushes past you.

You shake your head. “I’m fine, go after them.”

He looks worried. You’ve never seen him look at you this way before.

“Bucky, I’m fine. Go.”

He gives you a nod, promises to come back and then hurries out of the room after Walker and Lemar. He’s needed more there, anyway, and you both know it.

You rub a hand over your stomach as you try to breathe again properly.

“You okay?” Zemo calls over to you.

“Yeah, a shield to the stomach is nothing,” you roll your eyes.

It doesn’t take you too much longer to catch your breath, so when you do, you figure Zemo isn’t going anywhere and head out after Bucky, Walker and Lemar, even though you won’t be much – or any – help to them at all, but you can’t stay in that room with Zemo any longer, and truthfully, you’re worried.

Worried about Bucky, even worried about Sam. You don’t have any reason to be worried about them, and you know that, but you are. Bucky especially – he’s confusing you more than anyone has ever confused you in your entire life. You don’t know what to make of him, why he acts the way that he does around you. But whatever the reason is, you want to find out.

***

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