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#its the kind of thing they only notice like a year later when theyre doing a bit better and have the hindsight to go oh god jesus christ
arolesbianism · 7 months
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Congrats to unit swap Kohane and An for both getting a new song on the playlist and also apologies for all the doomed toxic yuri I'm gonna dump on y'all (is not sorry)
#rat rambles#unit swap au#sekai posting#girlies when their self esteem relies entirely on eachother in a way that leads to both sides enabling eachother horrifically#also they're both depressed and are desperately clinging to the small momentary bouts of serotonin they give each other#with was ofc incredibly unstable and it didnt take long for it to fall apart and for kohane to start spiraling pretty bad#this mostly started after an first recruited touya but it rly started going bad once an started becoming more distant from the group#they two became a lot more distant after their intial story and they both hate it so much#but kohane manages to find an actual healthy friendship in akito while an continues to spiral for a while longer#not because the others arent trying to be there for her but because of that actually (along with a whole other host of issues)#eventually the others finally noticed how much worse an has been doing too late as they find out no one has seen her for a day or two#its ok they find her but yeah she did have a bit of a breakdown#she and kohane post inital story just generally have this air of discomfort and regret as they both wish they could just go back to before#neither of them are at the time properly aware that they were in an incredibly unhealthy relationship#its the kind of thing they only notice like a year later when theyre doing a bit better and have the hindsight to go oh god jesus christ#but yeah of everyone in the group it takes them the longest to become like. real friends.#they still spend a lot of time together but thats mostly for group work and group hang outs#they both were just. so burnt out from everything. so burnt out from eachother.
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wanderrlust0 · 8 months
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-.-
idk why he says nothings wrong when i ask him, when clearly something is wrong. ik how he is & when somethings up but he still denied it. i understand if he doesnt wanna get into it rn or he just wants to let it go but like in this case, i pretty much know exactly what its about that could be bothering him & the only way to put him at ease is to talk about it….again! this one specific thing triggered his mood last night & i didnt even think it would. i noticed a red scratch mark on my chest and sent him a pic saying how i think his cat made the scratch. his reply was soo serious, like i could actually feel him doubting me thru the phone. i knew he was questioning if it was really the cat bc he said how he was close to my chest the other day and didnt see anything so that is odd that theres a scratch. !! i immediately knew where his mind went & that thought didnt even occur to me when i sent that pic..like if i knew that would cause him to think of this crazy scenario then i wouldnt have sent that snap in the first place tbh bc right after that, his tone & the way he texted just shifted. hes not the best at masking his feelings like me so i can tell when the energy feels different. i also posted some pics from the hangout on my ig story & he saw it later that night. i have a feeling that added to his misery and all of today it was so prevalent, even if he denies it. idc if he says nothings wrong bc its not convincing and its not just in my head. he went from msging me all cutesy & happy to immediately being more neutral & uninterested. we always send a snap to say good morning (unless we get busy but we still send a snap with whatever we’re doing). he didnt open the app, as well as reply to my snap, until 7:15pm.. around 4 was when i asked him whats wrong (bc i already knew he was ignoring me). his response was that nothing really is wrong and how he went straight to work and his boss switched his assignment. usually id let that go but not when its already past 7 and hes firsttt opening snapchat to answer me ? and i see that hes been on instagram. also.. hes always talking to me when hes either at work already, still at home, or driving to work. the only time he goes mia like that is when something is definitely upsetting him. also!.. when that happens, he will text me after a couple hrs to let me know how hes feeling & why he was silent. he didnt always do that but i told him to bc its not fair to me by feeling like ive done something or just the feeling of purposely being ignored by my own boyfriend. but yeah.. he didnt do any of that this time BC its this whole situation again. i really dont know what more i could do to reassure him about it. i feel like ive done and am doing all that i can rn. its mostly up to him now to let himself figure it out and honestly, just trust me. like just saying.. im not gonna be making that mistake that you (both) did and be stupid with it.. and neither will snow. theyre not a “friend” its actually becoming really genuine and sweet and i wont let it get ruined bc of him doubting me. i also wont let the friendship ruin me and him. i really cant help but compare it to what he did with his friend, especially since i just found out like a month ago. i also have this suspicion that it happened earlier that yr (when we were still together) than what he told me, but i dont even wanna think about that for any longer. i was told by her Husband! that it happened when they were still in school together. that means a year before. idk if i believe that. she mightve lied, but my suspicion’s still there. like i asked him if he remembered what month and he couldnt. all he knew was that it was during our break..-.- the what.…like 1 1/2 month long break. you dont remember which month..? i sound so salty rn omg i dont mean to. im just trying to understand. ill see how he is with me tm bc we barely talked today. kind of glad i worked most of the day so i was able to keep busy and not hyper focus on him ignoring me.
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greenlakegalpals · 1 year
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had this in my drafts for a good two years now, figured id might as well post it. not sure if ill finish it or upload the first part of it
alex is hesitant, she hasnt been in the lab in a very long time. hadnt bothered either with her mom being strict about being interupted while working. the lights flick on as she decends the stairs. it looks the same ashe she remembered it, a big chemists lab with desks cluttered full of papers and dial up computers covered in sticky notes. giant machines and lab equipment buzzing and humming. theres the section her dad would always be found working at so thats where she went first. it took a bit but luckily her parents where meticulous and organized when it came to their materials.
she finds a bunch of silly looking objects. lead glasses with the rims thick and squared ridiculously. snorts, her dad was a dork. gets what she needs n prepares to leave when she drops a lead disk and it rolls between a rolling car and desk.
she goes to reach it n notices something weird abt the legs of the desk. marks on the floor. alex is curious. moves the desk to the pathed marks. behind the desk is a divot on the wall. alex runs her hands on it and it pops open.
theres a box inside.
the desk is put back. lights turn off. alex leaves the lab.
days later alex is on her laptop, bunch of tabs open. kind of distracted cus kara perched on by the window sill, sketch book in hand. shes been feeling much better physically, keeping herself occupied with things. and also wearing these horrendously fluffy blue ear muffs alex had modified with the lead pieces. it does wonders for dulling karas senses but nothing on *not* making her stargirl look less of a cute dork.
also having those pretty eyes glance up at her every often has her blush bashfully. and kara knows it by the smile she fails to hide. alex huffs, rolls her eyes fondly. goes back to mulling over her laptop. fingers tip tapping against the case of a small box. hears kara shuffle and ask what shes up to n alex hums, nuzzles the arms snaking around her shoulders. kara giggles softly, lays kiss on her crown. alex grins up at her.
it happens in slow motion.
one second kara is looking at her with a smile so soft it overwhelms alex with the need to kiss her. the next, kara drops to the floor with a shriek.
alex explodes from her seat, her knee knocks everything on her bed to the floor in haste. shes holding kara and checking her frantically. kara whimpers in pain, breathing raggedly for moment. the light of their room catches on karas scrunched face, its a split second but alex sees it.
kara reassures her shes okay now, doesnt know what happened. her face is pale and drawn so alex settles kara onto her bed with piles of blankets and pillows and karas plushies. digs out the emergency snickers bars. her stargirl lights up and a bit of color returns scarfing it down. alex snorts, the sound hollow in her ears.
she tells kara she'll be right back, picks up the mess knocked to the floor. the box she'd idly flicked open lays shut. deposits it in her jean pocket. says she'll be back with drinks.
halfway to the kitchen alex has her phone open. two tickets are bought.
kara falls asleep exhausted and dead to the world with her ear muffs on. it gives alex a chance to pack and gather up every saved dime and change, even the emergency cash her parents set aside. with that done, shes alone with her thoughts in the dark. she plans.
kara is back at school now, so should alex, she ditched after leaving the first bell, knowing kara and her dont see each other till lunch. its the only time she can do this.
alex feels detached the whole ride to the house. her mothers car is parked. her hands are cold.
alex counts the steps she takes. theyre loud in the quiet of the living room. feet like heavy lead past the kitchen. the static in her ears is loud. defeaning.
lab lights are one, quiet as she can she decends.
her mother hasnt noticed her yet. back facing alex, unaware her daughter stands behind her.
alex pulls out the little vial from the box. sets it down on the metal table. it glows a bright unatural green.
"you poisoned her."
the effect is instant. eliza wirls around violently, startled. she sees alex and immediatly readies with a questioning disapproving look when the words process. alex watches her mothers face split in a myriad of emotions. shock, realization, guilt. then a mask settles over her mothers face, alex idly notes its the same one shes wearing too.
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i don't know what i should do but i distanced myself from some people (mentally too) bc I've been overwhelmed with trauma and getting tired of even speaking of it.. so I just say things are fine. I used to speak to one person whom we always shared thoughts with, understood me and what not, that was until their mental health got bad so I didn't really want to speak on my stuff to overwhelm ofc and offered support. we don't speak daily but we reply to each others messages whenever we can which became the norm.
the person did come across someone and got along with. they started dating within a few weeks and moved together. its been over a year they are and seems very happy. now, i already have some issues with people leaving or some kind of change occurring, which i noticed slowly, on top of that I can admit I feel toxic, in the sense of jealously. for context, ive never been in a relationship or anything. do I want to? Ofcourse. I think I deserve to be feeling loved. It never really bothered me until last year, its like my life was crumbling down and everyone was getting what they wanted, happiness, wishing I could as well.
ive never dealt with this emotion of jealously before, i just for some reason never cared and got on, but for some reason it hitting me more, maybe bc I'm slowly giving up on many things, even finding love.
this person has been someone who i would share my mind with (it was reciprocal) but ofc bc of things i couldn't anymore. I guess I couldn't share it with anyone so it felt bottled up, however I did share before of a friend who got in a relationship and doesn't even put effort in friendships.
anyways, once they got into one we still spoke. but I noticed a difference, they wasn't sharing much of themselves nor partner in the sense of i dont know much of a person he is, just a general overlook. idk I felt we used to speak on these things a lot when they was single so I felt weird how I dont know much of him as I thought. their replies began to get shorter, the time frame of replying back was a month later. we used to do that when times were hard for us, understanding and generally had long messages to send. but as I said, things were far short. So idk a month to send something little was a bit weird.
i also have this fear of friends sharing your personal information with their partners which make me super uncomfortable. I've had it happen before and its just a no. idk, I guess that stops me from sharing anything now bc maybe theyd do the same.
i guess I did notice a shift and whenever I do, I always distance myself. It is what it is. I feel incredibly alone and I feel like a negative person to be around with bc of these feelings I have inside. And I can see theyre happy and I dont want to make then feel uncomfortable with how I am feeling.
I sent a message at one point, addressing my mental health only. I wasn't fit to even speak, it was be unfair if I didn't respond at all so I said how things are quite rough so I won't speak for a while, it wasn't a goodbye but just I dont have the energy for things anymore. They respected how I felt and hoped things went well for me.
Its been 6 months and I haven't spoken to them. They posted on social media which I wished them happy birthdays and so, as they did for me. They say they pray for me things go good and I become happy. Which I appreciate. Normally I always wish them new years First, like every year but last year I did not. Partly bc I felt super depressed and also bc I dislike how I am always the one who says things first. After ages, they did wish me a happy new years message which was nice for once not being first too. However this year nothing so far, and I'm contemplating whether I should shoot a message right now.
It did make me feel a way when they kept mentioning, "so anything happening in ur love life?" Its like no, there never has. I guess I felt like things were being shoved in me so whenever I responded I would just be trutjful and say I dont see it happening and I'm okay with that. Which would say wait for ur time itll come. I understand when people say that but as a person who's been alone all my life that message doesn't help at all. It feels tiring to hear this constantly, I've waited for 25 years, I've waited enough, so please. I guess these little things made me feel bitter about them too, once I felt like it was shoved lowkey in my face I can't remember what exactly but like oh haha I dont have to worry about that now I have someone or something, which irked me. So yeah.
I have always appreciated having them in my life, our only form of contact is texting since we met online. We have been together some rough shit and have were there for each another too, also happy times too. But idk I guess I noticed a difference and it just made me step back.
I do feel sad bc I liked speaking with them, but I guess every since someone they came across they've just become private. And i guess I don't have much to speak about then. I'd rather not trauma dump bc I'm sick of my own shit too, but I just don't know what to do . I even thought maybe we should keep in contact here and there (not regularly as we used to) but I don't know what to do. I feel conflicted.
Okay I'm just gonna be completely honest with you, with the risk that it'll be a bit tough to hear. Because what I read is that YOU chose to distance yourself, YOU stopped sharing your life with this person, and then YOU said YOU didn't want to talk to them and didn't get back in touch. And now you're using the fact that the relationship didn't work out as proof that no one will ever actually care about you. And that's bullshit. And I get that there's trauma, and jealousy and insecurities and that you are not in this pattern on purpose, but what seems to be happening here is that YOU took a step back for whatever reasons, and then you used the fact that the relationship changed accordingly to you keeping your distance and asking for a break as proof that no one actually cares and no one ever will. And I have been there, and I have been in similar patterns. But it's bullshit. And it's toxic. Because this is not a story of a friend betraying you. This is a story of you sabotaging a friendship and then using the fact that it didn't last as proof of your insecurities. And that's something YOU need to work on if you want to feel better.
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wintermutal · 3 years
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since im already going off on fountain pens i am now going to hold you all at gunpoint and force you to absorb the fountain pen knowledge ive gained through osmosis in the fountain pen subreddit over the past few weeks whether you want it or not. this is all coming from someone who really didnt use pens at all until i found a tester fountain pen for $1.50 in a staples clearance box and it was like adopting a puppy when youve never had one before
- modern fountain pens look normal. like theyre just normal pens with a different nib, so its not like youre causing a scene or even really looking pretentious if you write with one in public. this was a big surprise to me. they're also very functional, as in like, you dont need to dip them in a little ink well to use them or anything. like its the same but it just feels...different. nice
- the cheapest ones are the model i found initially, the pilot varsity model, which go for $3.50 full price and are good for that price. the most popular 'normal' ones above that are the lamy safari models in the $15 range, which come in a few aesthetically pleasing colors; i started using these to study around my birthday and got one as a gift, and its like, very nice all around, 10/10 writing utensil, and you can change out the ink if you want instead of throwing them away when they run empty (more on this later).
- im guessing the people on the FP subreddit know this and don't seem to care, or maybe like, im just not enlightened enough to understand, but it really seems like there's a rule of diminishing returns with these pens. the switch from a ballpoint pen or pencil to a cheap fountain pen is very nice, and the switch from those to a lamy one is also very nice and gives you the added feature of changing the ink, but once you get past that, it seems like...like they just get fancier without much noticeable improvement if youre just like, some guy using a fountain pen for writing things? like from there you get to real afficianatos showing off their new Elsador F69420 Boot Ass that they got for $40-$80, and then the people showing off their $170+ fountain pens that they got for their wedding or something, and then you can get golden nibs that get even more pricey (which are apparently to die for...for some reason?) and thats without considering all the repairs and work you can have done on them like youre taking your car to the shop? like maybe if youre a jaded fountain pen diehard user the upgrades here liven things up again but i just...i do not see the utility. like again im probably just not enlightened or something
- the nibs. the nibs come in different metals and different sizes, and they all can fit different pen bodies. some are engraved with elaborate little swirlies and such. these nibs can be cut in different ways to let you write in different ways, and there are services, like i mentioned above, that offer a menu of fountain pen tune-ups and nib alterations and stuff like that. there are certain ways nibs can be cut to write in very specific kinds of calligraphy or script, and you can like, pack your pen in a little box and order a $45 alteration to the nib to make it Epic on one side and Based on the other (to be fair...i do see the utility in this, because the people who have this done seem to know exactly what they want and what kind of work they want to do with it, and when you see that work its clear that these changes do have significant effects...but, as is warned explicitly on the webpages of some of these services, only if you know how to wield them correctly). these same services offer tune-ups to normal nibs for like $15-20 up to specific artisan work for golden nibs that are like, $150, and can 'reforge' a nib for a certain price (i have no idea what that means). im guessing the differences here are because the nib has a little split down the middle that can part and leave a wider line or a thinner one or whatnot, so different softer or harder metals will have different resistances and flexibility? i still dont know the deal with the golden nibs, though, and if you're like me youre just jabbing that shit onto the paper in whatever direction it comes up in like a 4 year old with a crayon and thats good enough
- the inks. there are hundreds of inks. the subreddit has a list of the community's favorite inks for each color. all of them are different. i am not an artist, i am a simple man, i use whatever ink comes with the ink in the pen, but people just...really like using different inks. they have full ink collections with a ton of different colors, but from what i understand it takes skill to change them out, because you need to clean the pen in a special way, then use a special syringe to fill a converter that lets it drip into the cartridge...maybe this is why people also have a lot of pens, so you dont have to do this a million times if you want another color (although it seems like changeable cartridges are a thing too, so maybe you just switch those out??). im not even going to call the different colors frivolous, though, because even to me, a cynical basic bitch fountain pen user who uses them without even considering the angle which you have to hold the pen to write the best with it (too much work), i can see the difference, and by god is it satisfying. as you can imagine, even the bottles of these lined up on a shelf look satisfying.
- the paper. i think this is more of a general art thing, and if youre an artist you probably know more about this than i do, but this was news to me. i knew vaugely that there were thicker papers and thinner papers, but there are some papers that are better than others where the ink looks nicer, it feels better to write on them, and they don't bleed through as much. one of the favorites of the FP subreddit is rhodia, which is pretty affordable ($4-9) and sells basic notebooks that are 80g/m2. 80g/m2 is apparently a good baseline paper weight for fountain pens. i found a place that sold rhodia and got one, because the ink was bleeding through the weak plebeian spiral notebook paper i was using and part of the appeal is making it look satisfying, and it is, indeed, good paper. idk much about paper but i appreciate this paper. it is nice, it is an aesthetic. maybe thats why people buy really expensive pens and gold nibs and stuff, like a good deal of it is an aesthetic, but what aesthetic, exactly....i dont know. i havent fully uncovered the deep fountain pen lore yet.
anyway, im sure im just forgetting things i want to say but there is my long rant about fountain pens
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blxetsi · 3 years
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armin arlert, mikasa ackerman, and eren jaeger polyamorous headcanons (modern au)
armin arlert x gn!reader, mikasa ackerman x gn!reader, eren jaeger x gn!reader, mikasa x armin x eren x gn!reader
warnings: uhh fluff, this is very long, reader has a gf b4 getting w ema,
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this is like my first post since feb that isnt a request 😍😍😍 how did i pull this out of my ass
- obv eren, mikasa, and armin have been besties since childhood so its no wonder they all got together first 🤩🙏
- and theyre all hot so why wouldnt they wanna date each other
- i think armin and eren wouldve gotten together first, and then invited mikasa into their relationship
- the three of them have been officially going steady for like over a year now, and its going really well
- they didnt really expect you to drop into their lives tho
- youre an old friend of historia's and you two reconnected after you moved to the city, securing yourself a decent paying job working as a writer for the city paper
- you usually get the boring stuff, never able to get a good story to write about, focusing your time on heartwarming stories in the community or the sports column
- its boring but it pays the bills
- you were thankful when historia called you during your lunch and asked if you wanted to get drinks at a bar with her and a couple of other friends
- of course you said yes
- so historia and her girlfriend ymir picked you up after work, having dinner with them after a long week was the best, but you were a bit nervous to meet all of their friends
- thats how you met eren, mikasa and armin
- at first you were sure that mikasa and eren were dating, seeing as mikasa had her head on the taller man's shoulder, while his arm was wrapped around her
- but when armin leaned down to give mikasa a kiss before heading off to the bar you werent so sure
- ymir pulled you away to get more drinks and explained to you what the situation was, while commenting on the way you gawked at the three of them before
- you were embarassed to say the least but they didnt bring it up that night so you hoped the throuple didnt notice (they did)
- you really hit it off with all of them though, especially sasha and jean, and were constantly talked about among the friend group
- because of your demanding job dealing with writers block and deadlines you couldnt really meet up with all of them often, usually just having sleepovers at ymir and historia's apartment, the three of you drinking while you wrote on your laptop
- after a couple months of casual hangouts with historia and ymir and their friends, you kinda became one of them too which was nice
- you were added to the groupchat, you all followed each other on social media, and a certain brunet had taken a liking to you
- eren didnt know why exactly he was so attracted to you but he was, maybe it was your hair, or how pretty your skin looked even when oily or with breakouts, maybe it was your smile or your body or your sense of humor or you kindness or maybe it was all of it
- eren jaeger would always stay faithful to his boyfriend and girlfriend, but maybe they could add another person into the mix, more to love right ?
- he had only known you for a couple of months though, he didnt want to jump the gun and bring this up with his partners so soon, especially if they didnt feel the same way he did
- and it would be a bummer if you turned out to be a bad person or smth
- so summer rolls around with lots of memories being made with your new friends, as well as friends from work, and you get a girlfriend ??
- shes not really your girlfriend you two have only been out on a couple of dates and she kisses you a lot but, you havent talked about labels
- one night you, along with your friends are back at the same bar where you first met them
"so, tell us about the girl youre seeing." ymir says, smirking over her beer.
eren's ears perked up at the mention of you seeing someone. "girl ?"
historia nodded. "mhm ! y/n's been talking to someone recently, they've gone on dates and kissed and stuff."
"and stuff, jesus tori you make it sound like we've had sex." you sighed.
the blonde just laughed, leaning her body onto her freckled companion.
"well ? what about her ?" eren asks. armin slapped him on the arm, already having suspicions about eren's interest in you.
your shoulders sagged. "well, she's great and everything, truly..."
"but ? is there a but in this ?" connie asked. sasha started laughing at connie's use of the word but, while jean slapped the girl on the arm because of her reaction.
you shrugged, swirling what was left of your fruity cocktail in your glass. "well, i'm not sure. she's very lively, and sweet. but i don't know, i just don't see myself being able to be in a steady relationship with her."
"so you're gonna end it ?" eren asked. you thought he seemed a bit too eager about your failure in the love department.
"why do you care so much ? you like the thought of me being lonely ?" you shot back, before downing the rest of your drink.
"no i just-"
"i think what eren means is," mikasa intervened, her smooth voice calming you as she looked at you with a smile on her face. "is that there's no point in staying with her if you can't see yourself with her. don't lead her on."
you nodded. "you're exactly right my friend. which is the plan for tonight because i," you quickly checked the time on your phone. 8:17. "have a date with miss molly at nine, so i will be taking my leave."
the group engaged in a chorus of boos for leaving so early, while you chuckled and took the lighthearted insults thrown at you by sasha and connie with ease. grabbing all of your things you put down two twenties onto the table. "i'll see you guys later, have a goodnight." as you walked off you heard jean yell "have a good time you heartbreaker !" making you shake your head
- the date with molly went less then well. she yelled, and cried, and even tried hitting you at one point. your walk back from the park was spent blocking her on every form of social media you followed her on, and when you got back to your apartment you spent the night in a hot bath before retiring to bed
- meanwhile, armin and mikasa were trying to pry the truth out of eren, who was constantly denying his attraction to you
- finally mikasa took one for the team "eren, you aren't alone with the way you feel, i do too." this made eren more willing to open up to his partners
- armin doesnt say anything about you, only saying how youre kind. he doesnt feel the way that his girlfriend and boyfriend do, but he knows that may change
- soon enough, more time flies and christmas rolls around, with you all deciding to have a secret santa get together.
- historia invites everyone to her home on christmas eve, with ymir begrudgingly allowing it
- bertholdt and annie come too, reiner not being able to make it due to going home for christmas, while everyone else decided to stay in the city
- you picked out your secret santas at the beginning of november so you would all have enough time to find something for each other, you hoped whoever picked your name gave you something good
- after hours of games and karaoke and drinking you all decided it was time to open the presents
- ymir got socks from bertholdt, connie got an ugly beanie from ymir, historia got new pens from mikasa, mikasa got knitting needles from annie, annie got a dumbell from eren, jean got a not so appropriate t shirt from connie, jean gave sasha more comic books, armin gave new stationary paper to bertholdt, sasha gifted you that new biography you've been wanting to read and you gave armin your old copy of frankenstein by mary shelley
- he was surprised but very thankful, "how did you know i needed a new copy ?" "well i remember you said eren spilt water on your old one, and the pages just stuck together so i thought you might as well have mine"
- it warmed armin's heart that you remembered something so insignificant, and opened him up to the thought of being with you
- the rest of the night was spent with hugs and thankfulness, cheering when the clock struck 12 and it became christmas day
- after getting things cleaned up everyone decided it was time to leave, with armin, eren and mikasa offering to give you a ride home
- a ride where armin straight up kissed you in the backseat
- you stopped him of course, thinking that it was weird he would cheat on his partners right in front of them, while they were shocked all on their own for different reasons, armin who didnt have feelings for you KISSED you
- and surprisingly armin took the lead in explaining how he felt, why he kissed you, an apology for doing so, and an offer to start dating all three of them
- your heart was pounding in your ears and your entire face felt hot, it was probably the alcohol, or the way his lips felt so soft when they touched yours, so you said yes.
- its not smooth sailing from there
- youre kind of awkward
- this is your first relationship where you really feel like you could love these guys (you already do) but its also your first relationship with multiple people
- the trio start inviting you over more often, soon for sleepovers, and start inviting themselves over at your own place, mainly eren
- he just comes at random times, sometimes when youre not even there and waits for you, or stays and cleans up a bit before leaving
- armin and you share a deep love of literature, and you often find yourselves in hot debates about whatever youve read (mikasa and eren have to pry you two away before things get physical)
- mikasa likes to cook with you, she shares recipes that her mom taught her, and her and armin love to cook dinner together whereas eren is the breakfast maker of the household
- the first time you slept in the same bed as them you were so nervous your whole body thumped to the tune of your heartbeat, you were convinced armin could even hear it as he was laying beside you, but eren wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you into his large chest before whispering "youre as stiff as a board, relax honey"
- eren snores, mikasa drools, armin has those dreams where you fall and then violently wake up before you hit the ground
- slowly but surely you stop thinking about your relationship as the trio and you, but as all of you together, and that really helps you come out of your shell a bit
- you may still be in the honeymoon phase, and there may be bumps along the way, but you like being with armin, eren, and mikasa. they make you so happy, it feels like the happiest youve been in a long time
- you like watching eren and armin dance in the living room while you and mikasa cuddle on the couch, before the boys pull you two up as well
- you like when armin reads to you, his soft voice reciting the words of the great gatsby
- you like it when eren can just tell youve had a rough day, and pulls you into a hug like hes protecting you from all the bad things in the world
- you love being with them. you love them. and you think that theyre it for you
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i rushed the ending bc im fucking tired but i kinda wanna do a poly!series with like sasha, connie and jean, or annie, bertholdt and reiner, or any other poly ships u guys may request !
so yeah pls give me feedback it rlly helps me figure out whether you want a polyamorous series (or just like what i write in general), and it would be my first series ever which would be super cool anyways
yeah requests open for poly!ships anyways
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20rubixcubes · 3 years
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enhypen as baristas
maknae line x gn!reader (comedy, fluff, mild angst)
~1.2k words ea (headcanons)
warnings: cursing
a/n: i just wrote this for funsies, please be mindful that there is heavy swearing in these headcanons (particularly in ni-ki’s part), so if that isn’t your taste, perhaps skip this one! other than that, the rest of this is pretty chill, so i hope you enjoy my shitposting. oh, and lmk if you like this enough to want part two with the hyung line 👀 just maybe i’ll do it
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sunoo
was only recently employed as an afternoon shift employee and was both shocked and distressed after discovering the cafe didnt have an instagram
“what do you MEAN you dont have instagram??? how do we post selfies???” “sunoo we sell coffee” “NO ONE WANTS COFFEE JUNGWON THEY WANT CUTE BARISTAS”
starts an instagram for the cafe and takes aesthetic pictures of his latte art
his selfies get way more likes though
speaking of his latte art, he masters the skill like a week in and everyone else is incredibly jealous
their jealousy wears off when jungwon tells him that he has to start training the new apprentices
pretends he forgot how to do it for like a week but it hurts his pride so he begrudgingly agrees to train the apprentices instead
in his free time he can be found snapping pictures around the shop, eventually expanding to taking pictures of the others too
“sunghoon stop moving you look cute and i need to take a photo” “sunoo im holding hot milk” “does it look like i care beauty is pain sweetie”
other than that, he sometimes sits in the booths to snack on muffins and do his homework since he only comes in to the shop for about an hour during his school lunch break and on the weekends
you meet sunoo after applying for an apprenticeship, wanting to get a job before you finish high school and start college
seen as though jungwon looks like the boss, you approach him, nervous for your first shift
“i’m here for the apprenticeship program?” “oh yeah! one second!”
he trots off to the back room, leaving you standing awkwardly in the middle of the cafe
“SUNOO GET OFF JAY YOU HAVE AN APPRENTICE TO TRAIN” “*gasp* YOU MADE ME SMUDGE HIS LIPSTICK I'M QUITTING” “NO YOURE NOT GET OUT THERE RIGHT NOW”
the yelling pauses before who you presume is sunoo stomps through the back room door, a scowl on his face
he spots you, groaning loudly “are you the apprentice?”
“yes” you say meekly, guilty for seeming to ruin his shift
he gestures you to follow him behind the counter, pulling an apron out from under the sink and shoving it to your chest
its clear that hes pissed, yanking his tools out from the cupboards as you tie your apron behind your back quietly
“have you made coffee before?” “only instant coffee” “oh fantastic”
he seems to be getting more irritated by the minute before he takes a deep breath and starts directing you around the machines
“to do the art, you angle the mug like this and draw with the milk, but it wont show until it reaches the top so dont go crazy”
as if its nothing, he demonstrates by drawing a perfect swan in the milk, setting the latte down and dusting his hands off
“wow… thats amazing” “i know right? no one here appreciates me enough” “they should! this is the best i’ve ever seen”
he grins at your compliment, nodding with satisfaction and sending a wave of relief over you as you notice he looks less angry with you now
“um… im sorry if i interrupted whatever you were doing before” “oh, that? i was just doing jay’s makeup” “you like makeup? me too! i’ve never seen a boy interested in it though, thats really cool” you smile genuinely at him as he blinks in surprise
“really? you think its cool?” “definitely!”
you watch the gears turn in his head before he smiles widely, seeming to have come to some kind of revelation as he nods
“i like you.”
your cheeks heat up immediately, but before you can say anything in return, he starts calling out for jungwon, leaning over the counter
“JUNGWOOON, CAN WE HAVE THIS ONE?”
“well thats up to them” he looks up from the table hes wiping down, adjusting his apron as he walks over to the counter
“so youre all finished with the course? i hope sunoo wasnt too much for you”
“i wasnt! anyways, youre employed, okay?” “sunoo stop theyre just an apprentice”
he groans loudly, irritated once more as he whips his head to you
“you have to work here, ok? i said so, so come back and apply or i’ll be mad!”
you laugh at his antics and smile “i’ll see what i can do”
after jungwon pries sunoo off of your arm, you return your apron and leave the shop with a wave
“YOU BETTER COME BACK!” is the last thing you hear as you step out onto the street, the bell ringing to signal your exit
a week later, you return to the shop, slightly anxious that your new friend(?) might have forgotten about you
but this is quickly washed away when you hear a high pitched squeal from the counter
“JUNGWON! HURRY THE FUCK UP AND GET THE FORMS THEYRE HERE”
you laugh as you approach the counter, a teasing tone on your voice
“are you supposed to be talking to your boss like that?” “whats he gonna do? fire me? im the only one who can make coffee in this place” “true”
soon enough, jungwon comes out of his hiding place, his hands clasped together
“im really sorry to ask this but please, you have to work here, sunoo hasnt shut up about you all week and i dont know if i can stand him anymore, i’ll even pay you extra please dear god”
you give sunoo a look, only receiving an innocent smile and puppy eyes back
“sure, i’ll take the job!”
jungwon sighs in relief as sunoo begins jumping up and down, yelling something about having his own little baby to take care around the shop as you groan, covering your blushing face
once you have your hours established (sunoo made you take the same as all of his, but you did the nights instead of the afternoons on the weekends, to his displeasure), you get straight to working
… well, sort of
it was hard to get work done with sunoo pestering you around the clock
“you think im cute right?” “yes sunoo” “even though i have bags under my eyes? “yes sunoo” “you promise?” “yes sunoo” “good”
admittedly he is slightly of help when it comes to the more fiddly parts of making coffee, but every other second of the day he seems to be flirting nonstop
“can i kiss you?” “no” “why not” “sunoo we’ve been over this” “BEING AT WORK ISNT A VALID EXCUSE”
worn down after his incessant yelling all day, you find yourself snapping faster than usual
“we’re not even dating, sunoo! why would i kiss you!? just stop playing with my feelings already!”
for the first time since you’ve known him, sunoo goes quiet
“why not?”
“what are you talking about now sunoo?” “why arent we dating”
now its your turn to go quiet
“do you not like me?” “what? no, sunoo-” before you can reason with him, you watch him quickly rush away from you around the counter, slamming the break room door behind him with tears in his eyes
cursing to yourself, you ensure there are no customers to serve before quickly darting after him
after looking around a bit, you hear sniffling from the supply closet and knock on the door quietly
“sunoo?” “leave me alone!”
you sigh, taking a step back and turning on your heel to face the opposite direction, running a hand through your hair as you think
you spot a dog bed at your feet, suddenly remembering that jake usually keeps his dog supplies covered in dog hair in the closet
“sunoo arent you allergic to dogs?”
“... *sniffle* y-yeah”
after you persuade him to come out by mentioning that his face is going to get all puffy, he steps out, eyes glued to the floor as he looks away from you in shame
placing a hand on his shoulder, you speak to him softly
“sunoo, look at me”
he does, hesitantly, his eyes red and watery and, as you said, puffy and inflamed
despite this, you smile
“i do like you back”
his eyes start watering again, your heart skipping a beat in fear that you had said something wrong
“e-even if my face is all puffy and gross?” his voice wobbles, the tears filling his eyes giving him a sense of vulnerability as you sigh
“yes, even if your face is all puffy and gross”
he smiles at that, shutting his eyes cutely as you press a kiss to his cheek
“and theres your kiss”
he whines “i was supposed to do that!”
“you can do it after we finish work, okay?” “WORK STILL ISNT A VALID EXCUSE…. but maybe today just because i need to ice my face” “yeah you really should, can you even see?” “no not at all” “great”
jungwon
the previous manager left suddenly and jungwon was given a semi-forced promotion as he was the only employee with at least half of a brain cell
poor boy is stressed 24/7
doesnt get paid enough for this
“hey jungwon we ran out out of coffee bea-” “I ORDERED NEW ONES FOUR HOURS AGO NOW SHUT UP IM TRYING TO MAKE SURE THE BOSS DOESNT FIND JAKE’S DOG SHELTER IN THE SUPPLY CLOSET”
goes through hell every day just to make sure the others dont burn the cafe down
is supposed to be on the morning shift but he stays until the afternoon
in his rare moments of downtime, he likes to go around and water the hanging plants around the shop
is that one vine where the mom listens to nicki minaj for the first time and screams “no” over and over whenever ni-ki gets control of the cafe music
“RIKI NISHIMURA WHAT IS THAT ON THE SPEAKERS” “ITS OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR ARIANA GRANDE” “TURN IT OFF THIS IS NOT PG13” “SHUT THE FUCK UP GRANDPA”
is only 16 but acts like a 32-year-old father going through a midlife crisis
lifts boxes of supplies all day yet his joints are famously brittle
“hey jungwon did you hear glass shattering too?” “sorry jay that was my back” “you need to invest in physical therapy” “maybe if i wasnt paying for property damage every other week 😊”
you meet jungwon when you drop into the cafe for a croissant and a coffee before your class starts
usually you come at night maybe an hour before closing so you had never seen him before, but here you were watching this cute but clearly stressed boy scramble around the shop carrying boxes of supplies to the back
trying not to be creepy, you sigh, turning back to your phone after watching him for a solid five minutes straight
as you do, you hear a crash coming from what you assume is the supply closet followed by a disgruntled groan
pausing, looking around at the other customers typing away at their laptops and waiting for another staff member to go check on the boy, you stand up as you discern that he must be the only one working and hesitantly go to see if he’s okay
“hello? are you okay?” you peer through the door, your eyes widening at the sight of him rubbing his head with a wince on his features, supplies strewn around him at his feet and a box knocked over beside him
“ah… um, yes, i’m okay, sorry if i disturbed you with that noise…” he smiles bashfully, pulling himself back onto his feet
“do you need help with all of that stuff?”
he opens his mouth to protest, not wanting to have to ask for help from a customer, but after seeing the amount of crap off of the shelves, he realises that there is no way in hell he’s going to be able to clean all of it up alone before his shift ends
“um… is that okay?” his cheeks flush with embarrassment as you smile
“sure!”
over the next couple of hours you two establish a little system of bagging the spilt supplies and passes them to eachother to put in boxes, chatting never ceasing as you discover that you actually have a lot of things in common
“since you work here, what’s your favourite kind of coffee?” “i like lattes… i cant stand bitter things” “me too! my friend drinks espressos though” “ditch them”
you also find out that he started being homeschooled after becoming the manager as he doesnt have time to attend normal school
the both of you find yourselves laughing nonstop, having fun in eachother’s company
so much so that you end up late for school
“oh shit! i completely missed my first class”
guilty for making you late, he offers to take you
“i can take you?” “you drive?” “well….. not exactly”
once sunoo and ni-ki arrive to care for the shop, he takes you out to the car park, pulling a spare helmet out of his backpack and securing it on your head before giving your head a pat as he gets onto his scooter
“you look cute” “i look like a bug” “a cute bug”
once you get to school, face red after having to hold onto him the entire time, you hop off and pass him the helmet with a shy smile
“thanks for driving me” you mutter, brushing off imaginary dirt from your shirt as you do your best to avoid eye contact, your face still flushed and heart racing
is it possible to develop a crush on someone this quickly???
jungwon is so cute that he makes it possible, you surmise
“of course” he mirrors your nervous smile, a blush finding its way to his own cheeks
as you bow and spin on your heel to start walking inside, he stops you
“wait!”
“what is it?” you turn to him, your heart still thundering against your ribcage at the fond expression he has plastered on his features
“actually… can i pick you up? after school?”
when you pause, your face growing hotter and hotter, he begins to sputter
“i-i’m really sorry, its fine if not! that was way too forward, i just really like you and- oh god that was even more forward- um-” “okay” “yeah i’m sorry that was a stupid questio- wait, what?”
before he can say anything else, your smile widens
“i’ll see you later, okay? don’t be late!” you wave, skipping into the building with a fluffy feeling in your chest
with an awkward wave, jungwon watches you leave, his mouth wide open in shock before a grin replaces his expression
getting back into his seat, the lovestruck smile never leaving his face as he drives off, he begins to count down the minutes until he gets to see you again
ni-ki
works the afternoon shift
technically an apprentice but he gets paid and has been there forever so basically an employee at this point
or he would be if he ever actually made coffee
he sits with the work phone all morning and chooses the music
perpetually dancing to 7 rings by ariana grande (look up his cover. youre welcome in advance)
jungwon and jay scream at him to at least do the mopping to which he complies, but not without performing a whole ass concert with it
once they saw him twirl and dip the mop
eventually they just told him to go back to curating the music because he was scaring customers away and they were losing business
he was horrible at cleaning anyway
“hey jungwon i think i got window cleaner in your plant” “im firing you” “i dont even go here” “STOP QUOTING MEAN GIRLS AND FIX THE DAMAGE YOUVE CAUSED”
you meet ni-ki while youre drinking your coffee at a booth and he plays your favourite obscure indie song so you have to compliment his taste and get to talking
he plays your favourite songs whenever youre in the shop and audibly hisses at anyone who tries to change it
makes choreography to said songs at home and tries to impress you by casually belting it out by your booth
when you compliment his dancing and ask how long hes been practicing that choreography hes all like “oh hahaha it was just casual freestyle super easy peasy”
(hes been practicing for two weeks)
thought he was being super obvious by doing these things but apparently nOT because you have not caught the hint at all and hes getting impatient
asks for advice from the others begrudgingly
“give them flowers” “jay thats so boring” “do you want to use one of my dogs? everyone loves dogs” “wtf jake since when have you had more than one dog” “make them latte art with a heart on it” “sunoo ive literally never made a coffee in my life” “why dont you just ask them out like a normal perso-” “shut the fuck up grandpa thats so weird no one does that”
eventually he settles on sunoo’s idea of making you latte art and he embarks on his journey to make his first coffee
rather than focusing on the actual taste, sunoo tells him to just do whatever so that he can show him how to do the art
“why is it green ni-ki” “you said to do whatever” “and your first idea was to make poison? idk if this is the best idea if youre trying to ask this person out” “shut up and pass me the milk”
burns his hands on the steaming milk jug at least fifteen times and ends up with so many bandaids on his fingers
despite how stiff the bandages are on his hands, he eventually manages to make a sort-of legible heart
“it looks like africa” “have you ever had steamed milk poured on your eyes sunoo?”
poor ni-ki waits for you all day, his heart leaping every time the bell on the door rings only to roll his eyes when it isnt you
he even stays past his shift so youd better let him take you on a date or hes quitting
when you finally arrive he trips over the bucket at his feet he was using to clean and spills dirty water all over his pants
“omg ni-ki are you okay what happened” *five octaves higher* “NOTHING I'M COMPLETELY FINE WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT”
by the time he’s finished cleaning himself up (and by that i mean fixing his hair in the mirror for twenty minutes) he takes a deep breath and walks over to you, somewhat cold latte in hand
“um,” he clears his throat, his face growing red as he slides the mug towards you “i made this for you”
“aw thanks ni-ki! why is it green” “........its matcha?”
youre slightly suspicious but you look back to the mug and slowly realise that the “drawing” slightly resembles a heart, smiling a little bit to yourself
when you look back to him, youre a little confused as to why hes just standing there
“is something wrong?” you press the mug to your lips, taking a sip
“o-uh uh actually, i wanted to ask if… if you would uh maybe sort of go on a date with me”
you can only smile
“yes, but…”
his heart starts beating faster, watching you anxiously
you stand up, taking the notepad and pen from his apron pocket and scribbling your phone number
“only if you promise to learn how to make actual coffee” you wink, handing him the notepad and sauntering out of the shop
hes stood there dumbstruck, stars in his eyes at the slip of paper in his hand
but then he realises: he has a new mission
rushing to the back room, he slams the door open
“grandpa, i need you to teach me how to make coffee right now” “literally why do i pay you”
with your promise in mind, the others see him work more diligently at the counter than they ever have before
“wow youre actually working today?” “shut up i need to figure out how to do this butterfly before i pry my eyes out with a fork” “haha funny joke ni-” “did i stutter”
at the end of the week, he forces heeseung (the cafe’s best coffee maker) and sunoo (the cafe’s best latte artist) to judge his latte
“this is… surprisingly good” heeseung peers into the mug, smiling at the swan ni-ki created with the latte foam as sunoo grumbles “dont tell me im gonna have to start competing with this kid, it probably tastes gross” “it tastes amazing too” “im quitting”
with his coworkers’ notes in mind, he finally works up the nerve to send you a quick message telling you to come into the shop
when you arrive the next day, ni-ki greets you and immediately gets to work, making sure to stand as close as humanly possible to your booth so he can show off his newly acquired coffee making skills
with you only inches away, he does make a mistake and spill milk on his shirt after looking at you and not his hands for a second too long, but you decide to give him the benefit of the doubt when he sets the mug in front of you
“wow! this heart is perfect!”
you smile, looking up to him “did you seriously learn how to do latte art just so you could take me on a date?” “… y-yeah, and?”
you can only chuckle as you press the mug to your lips, readying yourself to drink liquid dirt…
“this is… really good!” you grin, taking another sip and putting the mug down on its saucer
“i think you’ve definitely earned yourself a date… or two”
at this news, ni-ki’s face lights up, shoving the urge to scream down his throat before nodding stiffly to try and contain his excitement with a strained “cool” escaping his lips
“are you okay ni-ki?” “yes just give me one second”
he quickly scrambles to the break room, a moment of silence wafting through the store before a shrill scream fills the air
eyes wide, you turn to jay, who had been manning the till, after hearing him burst into laughter
“what is he doing?”
“we told him the freezer was sound proof”
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plounce · 3 years
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what if gay CATS........... were gay PERSONS
(info on this au under the cut)
theyre all shitty young adults just kind of. getting through their early 20s as best they can. or as much as they can. maybe things will get better someday, but right now they’re kind of spinning their wheels
magic exists but like eh it’s not a big thing don’t worry about it. it’s around but like whatever. not many people have it and it’s mostly just like. a curiosity or a party trick
demeter and bombularina are together, tugger and mistoffelees are together, bombularina and tugger occasionally fwb, it’s cool and aboveboard and it’s all fine
demeter:
bisexual with a preference for women. 24 years old
semi-psychic (not as powerful as tantomile or coricopat). tends to have vague and confusing prophetic dreams
dropped out of grad school for sociology due to trauma and ensuing intensified mental illness. kind of bitter about it, but tries to get through every day. general anxiety disorder even before all that
very nervous around most men she doesn’t know & trust
currently working at a barnes & noble starbucks, which sucks. she recently became the assistant manager, which turbo sucks because now she has more work for only like a buck raise, but at least she’s getting reliable shifts
her go-to therapy is cutting her hair with scissors. her hair is fried to all hell from regular bleaching
she’s learning how to crochet because she’s decided she needs to do something physically productively creative with her hands to distract herself from Stuff
bombalurina:
bisexual. 24 years old
got her bachelor’s in english two years ago and hasn’t found a job in her field and has kind of given up on it for now
she’s been bartending for like four years, does freelance editing work on the side. will occasionally write listicles for clickbait sites if she needs extra cash
literally any extra money she can save goes to tattoos. her right sleeve’s almost done
has natural red hair but dyes it cherry red
a hedonist to cope but is also just a natural hedonist. likes a good bath
i know that like the typical thing fandoms say about female characters is “doesn’t take shit” for the girlboss points but she truly does not take shit anymore. she used to take people’s shit sometimes but at this point in her life she’s tired and she has a girlfriend to be protective of. she has a couple people whose shit she will take (mostly just tugger) but besides them (and having to practice basic customer service to keep her job) she’s tired of other people’s shit! enough!
my personal take on bombalurina is a mix between the riot grrrls of the 90s and 80s punk girls, and then a dash of the greaser chicks from grease. i saw that spiked collar and my brain went OH okay i can run with this somewhere fun. same for demeter, but less so - she just has the piercings.
demelurina:
bombalurina met demeter in college at a women’s activism club, noticed her because of her dimple piercings and was like “oh someone else with a lot of metal in her face, i’ll sit next to her”
they were each other’s first off-campus roommates and were close friends. made out a couple times, but it was mostly a lot of sexual tension. there was a lot of bombalurina staring at demeter while she or demeter made out with someone else
demeter was on and off with her high school boyfriend munkustrap and bombalurina was like “oh he’s so much more stable/calm than me and she needs that, i party a bit too much for her, i shouldn’t try anything” so she just sort of. lets their almost-there peter off
(this is all bombalurina’s internal thoughts - demeter always was interested in her, but thought she was too boring for bombalurina. so neither of them thought they could pursue it)
bombalurina graduated and moved somewhere cheaper further away from campus. they kind of drift apart
munkustrap and demeter peter off and he moves away for a job (they’re still good friends, it was a very amicable breakup) and then demeter gets with macavity, which is a deeply toxic situation for her and sucks hugely and throws her whole life really off track. won’t go into further details
she finally manages to break up with him and calls bombalurina at like 2 am asking if she can pick her up, and also if she can sleep on her couch, it’s okay if that’s not okay, she just. really needs a place she feels safe, and her gut is telling her to. and of course bombalurina says yes
bombalurina also knew macavity and had also made out a couple times with him at like parties and stuff (see: staring at demeter as she makes out with people). something about transference of feelings - bombalurina was into him for a couple moments because he and demeter had a thing.
this is due to me interpreting the song “macavity” as actually about bombalurina wanting to fuck demeter and her singing as a half-repressed expression of that. i use my really good wlw brain to reach that conclusion. it’s kind of a non-competitive version of eve sedgwick’s take on the love triangle. (<-- normal thing to say)
but anyway demeter stays on bombalurina’s couch and she tries so hard to stay on track but eventually she just has to drop out. bombalurina helps her with that too. she’s just really supportive even as demeter’s life is at its lowest point. when she gets home from bartending she gets demeter to go to sleep
she just Stays with her and makes her smile and reminds her that her life isn’t over, there’s still things in her day to enjoy, to keep her trudging forward
bombalurina is roommates with tugger at this point - he also recently dropped out and demeter knows him because he’s munkustrap’s brother, so he’s Trusted and also is like “hey it’s okay that you dropped out, im here and im chilling and you like me and respect me at least a little, and you have a bachelor’s degree at least!” (more on him later)
demeter is like “oh god ive been crashing at their place for so long not paying rent, theyre gonna ask me to leave, im such a freeloader, they wont take my attempts at paying rent” but then bombalurina and tugger are like “hey! the lease is almost up! we found a pretty good 3 bedroom, do you wanna have your own room for real?” and she nearly cries because 1. the RELIEF 2. oh my god you want me around???
cut to bombalurina helping demeter put together an ikea dresser (tugger got banished to the kitchen to make crystal light lemonade for them because he’s useless with a screwdriver) and demeter has two epiphanies:
1. i thought i was ready to d*e four months ago and here i am making a dresser to put clothes into in my new apartment where i live and feel safe and loved. im still not happy but im still alive and im making a dresser
2. holy fuck im back in love with my best friend, and ten times more than i was back then.
so she like kind of freaks out because she’s already imposed so much on bombalurina, how could she impose her FEELINGS on her like this, oh no oh no oh no
meanwhile bombalurina’s back in love with her even MORE and she’s also like no... she’s already dealing with so much... i don’t want to make her uncomfortable or feel unsafe in her own home especially after her recent relationship trauma... i just want her to feel safe around me...
you might think tugger as their roommate would be like “JUST KISS” but he is in fact pretty oblivious because he is self-absorbed. mistoffelees on the other hand..
eventually they do have a big confession of feelings after demeter has a bad day and it’s very dramatic and they make out in the rain. and it’s like. well this is a movie scene. but also im cold and damp. let’s head inside our home and get warm and dry :)
and then they go inside and and talk through everything, all their feelings (not just their romantic feelings but like ALL their feelings) and their shared histories and bombalurina is like “do you think you’re... ready for a relationship right now? like that would be a good thing for you?”
and demeter considers it. she does stop and think. and then she says, “with anyone else... probably not. but it’s you. and i feel so safe around you, and we’re already so close. you make the future feel more worth it. you make more days alive feel not just tolerable, but something to look forward to. and knowing you’ve loved me all this time... it’s nice. it’s good. i’m - i’m understating it so much, it’s more than nice, it’s just - it’s a lot. i wish i had noticed back then.” “hey, hey, don’t blame yourself. i’m the one who never said anything.”
anyway. everything works out, and they start dating for real :)
tugger:
bisexual. 22 years old
dishwasher at the same bar bombalurina works at. she got him the job. he keeps bugging her to teach him bartending tricks and on slow nights she will agree to
he dropped out of their four year, but he managed to secure an associate’s in communications before he dipped
trying to be an ig influencer hotboy and hopefully get modeling jobs from that but his phone’s camera sucks shit so his account isn’t really going anywhere. but he continues to post his low resolution shirtless selfies
trying to cope with being the failure son who does not have a fancy nonprofit job with a salary and healthcare by being self-absorbed and self-aggrandizing
it works about 60% of the time and 60% of the times that it doesn’t he’s able to hide it
he dropped out right around when bombalurina graduated and he was like HEY! ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A ROOMMATE WHO DOESN’T CARE IF WE LIVE TEN MILES AWAY FROM CAMPUS? WELL HAVE I GOT A SOLUTION FOR YOU: ME!
to which bombalurina (who has fooled around with him here and there and thinks he is funny little man and genuinely goodhearted, and also he has rockin abs as a plus) says munkustrap already asked me if i need a roommate and if i do to consider you, because you don’t want to move back home. in other words: yes, you little idiot
they do fool around with each other but they are both very understanding that it is strictly platonic and for fun, especially once they become roommates. they both do not desire each other for anything serious
he did have a bit of a crush on each other when they met (hot punk older girl who’s friends with his brother) but 1. it dissipated pretty quick after they fooled around for the first time because it was not a very serious crush 2. she was in the middle of being in love with demeter so she was focused on that, emotionally
he got his ears pierced a couple times in high school but bombalurina inspired him to get a couple more. she went with him when he got his nose pierced
demeter has always understood that him and bombalurina are strictly fwb, has never been an issue.
she and him like to bleach their hair together when their hair schedules line up (he bleaches his way less often then she does), but she refuses to use his fancy conditioner that keeps his hair unfried because it’s expensive, even though he tells her to go ahead and use it, please, the health of her hair is giving HIM anxiety, demeter please. please demeter
mistoffelees:
gay. 20 years old
has magic. it’s pretty good magic but again: magic is not a big deal in this concept
a bit spooky. skulks around. a bit of a bitch but also very very nice. chooses when to speak
he has postings on craigslist and fiverr about finding lost objects and people with magic. like a gig economy private detective
side job is a waiter at a fancy restaurant
sometimes he gets paid VERY well from the private detecting, depending on the client. he does ask his psychic friends (tantomile & coricopat) to give a quick glance over on some of the more suspicious clients just to make sure he isn’t finding someone who should not be found by that person.
doesn’t go to college. is roommates with his sister victoria, who’s a freshman and studying dance. moved into town with her so she wouldn’t have to live in the dorms by having a guaranteed roommate.
tuggoffelees:
the general vibe i want for these two is mistoffelees walking around town or driving around in his shitty toyota camry while tugger tags along because he’s bored and thinks this is cool as shit
the general tone of the au is “magic isn’t a big deal” except for tugger, who thinks mistoffelees’ magic and his magic freelancing is the coolest shit ever. this is mostly because he just likes mistoffelees. “there are people who can do cooler shit than me, tug” “yeah but i don’t KNOW them also theyre not as COOL as you” “you had to explain to me how instagram reels work”
idk how they met i just think tugger shows up at his and bombalurina’s apartment one day (this is when demeter has moved in but they havent moved to the 3br yet) with this dude to dash in and pick something up and bombalurina is like “uh. who’s this” “oh this is mistoffelees he’s SO GOOD AT MAGIC” [mistoffelees nods hello] “okay bye bombalurina see you at work!!!” “uh. later”
after that he just shows up a lot. sort of ambiguous if theyre dating or what for a while before bombalurina straight up asks like “hey does the dude you’re dating know we fool around” “the dude im - what?” “... the little magic guy who keeps using our hot cocoa mix. misty.” “oh. uh. we aren’t dating.” “... do you want to? because you’re kind of all over him constantly” “um. well! haha, if i wanted to, i could! haha!” “yeah get back to me on that”
tugger trying to use his ig clout to get mistoffelees more work even though 1. he has no clout 2. mistoffelees has a very stable client base. but mistoffelees appreciates the effort. the self-promo guy promoing someone other than himself... the highest expression of love...
mistoffelees is A Nonthreatening Man plus he’s pretty obviously gay so demeter is chill around him pretty quickly. when mistoffelees is over they’ll sit on the couch where demeter sleeps and watch documentaries quietly while she crochets
they both occasionally say spooky shit at the same time because magic stuff. bombalurina and tugger are both torn between “that was cool as fuck” and “god that’s unnerving”
just a lot of tugger following mistoffelees around on his jobs and mistoffelees letting him because he’s fond of him and them occasionally getting into minor peril and interesting shenanigans, but it is 90% fetch quests
i think the first time they met tugger was taking selfies in front of a hydrangea in a public park and he saw mistoffelees walk up with a shovel and start digging in one of the flower beds and he thought he was hot so he went over and offered to take over on the shoveling to look strong and masculine and he ended up digging up a skull, which mistoffelees picked up and said “thanks” and then walked away
mildly terrifying but also very interesting and tugger’s days are kind of boring and dishwashing kind of sucks as a job to do like every night and he is a person who thrives on novelty so. moth to a porchlight
i think they do start making out for fun here and there and then a while later theyre out on one of mistoffelees’ jobs and someone asks “who’s the guy with you” and mistoffelees replies “oh that’s my boyfriend, don’t worry about him” and then it’s like. “HUH? I’M YOUR BOYFRIEND?” “uh. yeah? i assumed. is that okay?” “i mean yeah of course i think you’re great! how long have we–” “oh like a while.” “oh. uh. cool!!”
they just hang out a lot. mistoffelees enjoys teasing him and enjoys his warmth and bombasticity and tugger likes watching and helping him solve little mysteries around the county because it’s always something new. they’re kind of a comedy duo. they just enjoy spending their time together and following mistoffelee’s internal magic gps to find lost dogs and lost necklaces
yeah right now this au is just vibes and just sort of. continuing forward with your days and your weeks and your months. just young adults hanging out
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soulwillower · 4 years
Text
heather • richie tozier
(richie tozier x reader)
[based off the song heather by conan gray]
requested:   OMG I HAVE AN IDEA IDK IF ITS GOOD AND IDK WHY IM TYPING IN ALL CAPS BUT CAN U DO A FIC WHERE LIKE ITS BASED OF YHE SONG HEATHER BY CONAN GRAY WHERE THE READER AND RICH HAVE BEEN BEST FRIENDS FOR SO MANY YEARS AND HAVE FEELINGS FOR EACHOTHER BUT THERE BOTH SO OBLIVIOUS- SO WHEN RICHIE LIKE GETS A GF ONE DAY THE READER JUST WHSKWHDIWHWIW IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT BUT LIKE AT THE END THEY REALIZE THEYRE IN LOVE. SORRY IF ITS TOK SPECIFIC. LOVE U. IM RUNNING OUTTA CHARACTERS 
warnings: swearing, mentions of underage drinking, themes of cheating but no actual cheating, angst, fluff at the end, unedited.
thank u guys so much for being so patient with this fic <3 love u all so much!
[losers + reader are  18+ in this.]
4.4k words
(also, this fic starts with a flashback and idk if i like this style, but lmk if it works) 
the persistent beat thudding in your ears seems to do nothing more than dim your already low mood as you sip on lemonade by yourself in someone's basement bar, sitting on an uncomfortable metal barstool and leaning your head heavy against your chin.
these days, it seemed as though the world was painted in gray.
you look around almost lazily; bev and ben went outside in the snow a couple minutes ago, stan just took a girl upstairs - you're left alone now, because mike and eddie had to study for their exam and bill was feeling under the weather. and richie, as usual, was late.
there's almost twenty other people in the room right now, but you have no desire to speak to any of them. you've been trying to have fun tonight, but you're just having a hard time, feeling distracted and unable to stop thinking about wire framed glasses and a certain bright smile.
your wandering eyes halt your thoughts as a girl in your class - heather perez -  catches your eye from across the room, her hair falling in natural curls that makes you sigh in envy. she smiles and waves at you warmly, gesturing for you to come and sit with her. you swallow and look down into your cup of dreary, graying lemonade as you try not to think about how you look in comparison. she's so fucking pretty. you look back up and shake your head with a friendly smile, faker than a plastic flower, and nod to the bathroom. she shrugs and smiles, turning back around.
she was too sweet, it hurt.
her naturally dark hair, long and wavy, her smooth dark skin, her laugh.... but suddenly, your head snaps back up after recognizing a familiar sight on heather's figure.
-is that richie's sweater?
your heart thumps and churns in the most unsavory way as all the breath leaves your lungs in one swift exhale. you feel sick to your stomach and your hand falls to hit the counter to stabilize yourself, the lemonade sloshing out of the cup slightly. but you pay no mind. heather's wearing richie's sweater...
you know that sweater really well. it's definitely his, and for some reason that makes you want to cry.
you blink and force yourself to suck air into your lungs as you look around quickly, anywhere but at heather perez wearing richie tozier's sweater, with all the stripes and patterns and the rough polyester material. you're not sure why you're so caught off-guard, you knew that heather perez was maybe-kinda-sorta seeing your trashmouth. he'd mentioned it in passing a few times and you've not been able to keep it off your mind as bev and bill whisper to richie about it in the halls or during hangouts when you were laying in stan's lap pretending not to hear it.
it hurts, though. holy hell, does it hurt when richie turns the corner and the typical, 'hey, richie!' choruses through most of the people in the basement - and yet his eyes are just set on her.
it hurts even worse when you make eye contact with him and he smiles at you, nodding in greeting and calling a "hey there, toots!" over the thumping of the noise before turning back towards heather.
your heart thumps erradically as you eye him sliding an arm around her shoulders easily, pulling her into his tall lanky frame,  crushing your chest and deflating your trembling heart. heather's head falls onto richie's shoulder and you shiver, feeling colder than you've felt in so long. the lemonade you force to your lips tasting like stale water as the sight of richie pinching heather's shoulder and thumbing his own sweater on her frame make you feel empty.
even now, weeks later, you remember how it felt. you sip on the boiling tea and immediately burn your tongue, making you swear as you stare out your window, the snow falling around your house in the dark making you feel an odd, empty kind of peace. that fucking sweater.
you haven't talked to richie in almost a week and a half - he got in trouble the night after the party and his parents took his phone away - at eighteen years old, his parents took his phone - so that he could 'spend time with family' (a task that made you chuckle to yourself when bill had explained it to you about twelve days ago).
it's winter break, though, and you've been missing the last piece of your eight-person puzzle the last few times you've hung out with your friends. it feels empty without richie's boisterous shenanigans, snarky looks and goofy comebacks... you feel really embarrassed for missing him so deeply.
tears well up in your eyes as you think again about his damn sweater, the one that heather was wearing, the same one he'd given you not even three weeks prior.
"well look at you." richie says with amusement trickling through his voice like melting icewater through a calm creek.  you spin towards him with a grin eclipsing your face as you shrug around his sweater, pretending not to smell his strong scent and pretending not to feel the immediate comfort it gives you.
"you know, for as dumb as it looks, i kind of like it." you tease, brushing some hair back from your eyes as the sweater sleeves fall back down past your hands. he laughs, eyes not leaving you for a second.
"shit, doll. keep it." he says, sounding serious. it makes you pull a face at him, starting to lift it slightly over your head to return it to its rightful owner.
but he shakes his head, hands gently gripping your arms and halting your motions, subsequently setting your heart on fire. his lips are set in a gentle grin as he shakes his head again. "it looks so much better on you."
it's spoken simply, in such honestly that it makes you blush nearly immediately. in fact, you're so flustered that all you can do is shove him a bit, stuttering out a quiet, "shut up, richie, you- i - okay, whatever."
it makes him chuckle as he takes the soft blow of your hands against his shoulders, deftly running his hands through his curly locks as he shakes his head. "you're adorable, kid."
you're lucky he'd turned around to gripe around on his messy bed for his laptop, because the stupid grin you're sure is painting your face is enough to make you dig your own grave and then hand him the shovel. if only he knew how much you liked him.
you didn't keep the sweater after that night, though. at the time, you'd told him it was because it was putrid; that the colors and patterns were a sin to man and that you'd never be caught dead wearing it out. he laughed the whole time because you had literally worn it to the store with him it with him that same day. but now, you'd give anything for richie to give you that sweater again, to feel that polyester inseam fall against your stomach and your arms and chest, like a huge richie hug (without all the bones and the cologne and the caffeine-pulsing heartbeat - so not a real richie hug, but as close as you could get to the real thing without actually just having it).
god, you like him too much. you rub your face with your palm, the moisture from the tears that had accidentally escaped your eyes smudging against your face. you're tired, almost - it's like an empty, heartbroken exhaustion that sags your shoulders and chokes your throat and makes you zone out for minutes at a time. one thought overwhelms you right now, so as you see a car's headlights shine out your window through the falling snow, you don't even notice it.
you just wish you were heather.
you've tried to hate her. really, you have - you figured maybe, just maybe, if you were able to rant to bev or eddie about how much of a bitch heather is, how she's terrible to richie and how boring she was, maybe you could justify the heartbreak in your chest.
but god, she's so perfect. heather, with her shiny hair, bright smile, her flawless mind and caring heart. she's, as far as you're concerned, an angel. of course richie would choose heather, who wouldn't?
the other day at that party, you'd tried your hardest to ignore your intrusive thoughts, but you can't help feeling like it would all be better if heather didn't exist. and even that thought alone hurts your heart, because you remember the smile on richie's face when he looked at her, swathed in his sweater and floating around the room like a beacon of light.
and you could never, ever in good conscience take that from richie.
you almost laugh at how absurd it is - now you're talking to yourself while you stare out the window, half asleep, dreaming of freckles placed just like constellations and crooked noses, of jawlines that jut out and long, lanky fingers; of loud, chipping laughter and beat up high-tops with cuffed corduroy pants.
"y/n?" a voice behind your door makes you jump a bit, unsettling your already disconcerted bones. you’re imagining him, now? you laugh into your scalding mug for a second, but after a double-take at the doorway you find the angel himself to be standing there with a perplexed look.
"richie, what're you doing here?" you ask, rubbing your eye to make sure no tears are left. he looks troubled. "i knocked, but nobody answered. so..." he says with a shrug, and you ned, tucking a leg under yourself and nodding.
"what are you doing, toots?" he asks, backlit by the hallway light. and then you finally can see what he's wearing, and you almost laugh at your own misery.
but you don’t laugh, your brain short-circuiting as you feel the knife twist further into your abdomen. the stupid fucking sweater.
“-um, nothing. y- did you get that back from heather?” you try to deliver the line as smoothly as possible, but by the look on his face, you did a real shit job at that.
“what?” he asks in an exhale as he shakes snowflakes from his hair and shoulders, closing your door as he walks towards you and falls to sit next to you on your windowsill seat.
“i thought you gave her that sweater.” you say and he raises a brow, “yeah, like two weeks ago.” he says slowly, eyeing you. he adds, “she obviously didn’t need it after that.”
you frown, “did she need it then?” you didnt try to sound bitter at all, but your voice comes with more of a sting than you’d anticipated.
as always, richie meets fire with fire. “it was twenty fuckin’ degrees out, she was wearing a tank top.”
you don’t know what to say so you just stare out the window with a quick huff, crossing your arms. "why does it matter? it's a sweatshirt." he mutters. "i was just being nice to her."
you nod, pain twisting around in your stomach. he's right, it's just a sweater. but he gave it to her, because he likes heather better.
“what’s up with you, kid?” he asks, gentler this time.
“don’t call me kid, richie.” you say sharply, not meeting his eyes. “and there’s nothing up with me.” you know you’re being difficult, but you really don't have the energy to argue with him right now.
it’s quiet again, and the silence is even more awkward. you take another scalding sip of your tea. 
“um, y/n... is this because of heather?” he says after a bit. you feel the tension that the acknowledgment brings as it hits you in the thick, cold air. richie’s tapping a rhythm on his thigh, so you can tell he feels it too.
"richie." you say weakly, your voice coming out too quiet, too obviously broken and exhausted. "i cannot do this. please don't do this right now"
he blinks at you, eyebrows furrowed. "sugar, i'm so lost right now."
you decide to change the subject. "-why'd you come over?" you ask, actually looking at him then immediately regretting it. he looks hurt and confused, like a lost puppy.
"oh. um, i just need to tell you something.it's about heather, too." he sounds anxious, and you roll your eyes, looking down at the tree outside your room as wind blows powdery white mounds off its branches.
“can this just wait until tomorrow?” you whisper. doesn't he get it?
it's quiet and for a moment you believe that he's going to leave it, to not bring up the obvious jealousy brewing in your chest. but he breaks the silence too soon.
"i tried to kiss her." he says and you immediately look towards the door, the most immediate escape possible. 
your breathing gets heavy; if you have to hear this, you know you'll admit your feeling to richie, and you don't want to do that to him. but you have a suspicion that he already knows.
"richie, i'm so, so glad to see you. and that you like heather. really, i am. but- it's not a good time. i'm not- i'm not okay." you say, voice thick as tears well behind your eyes.
richie’s eyes widen almost comically as you make eye contact and his hands immediately find purchase on your arms, his thumbs rubbing in the way that he has done ever since that one foggy summer you spent in the sewers. "y/n/n, what's wrong, sweetheart?" he asks, watching sadly as a tear slips from your cheek. it breaks your heart when he calls you sweetheart, and you shake your head.
you can't tell him the truth - that you love him, so instead, you mumble, "i've missed you. there's a lot going on, and i just really need you."
he looks guilty as he pulls you into a warm hug, one that takes you off guard but that you return gratefully. "you've been too busy spending time with heather and with your parents, and i understand that, i just - you know, i miss you." you say, voice muffled as your cheek is squished into his shoulder. he sighs shakily, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. “i know i’ve been with her a lot, i’m sorry sugar.” he mutters. 
it feels like you’re both holding something back from the other. 
"i wish i were heather." you say against his shoulder, knowing richie’s completely unaware of the depth of your statement. but he pulls back and stares at you, an unknown look on his face. you open your mouth to say something, but you're cut off before you can get anything out.
and his lips fall against yours lightly, almost as if they’re ghosts against yours. his presence feels fleeting. 
you barely close your eyes and press closer to him before you snap out of it, jerking backwards with wide eyes.
richie’s eyes fall open too as he looks at you questioningly. your heart is thumping heavy as you shake your head, more shocked than you thought ever possible. “what?” he asks, as if he’s surprised you’re not kissing back.
you give him a sad, broken look. you think you’ll cry as you mutter, "why would you ever kiss me? i'm not - i'm not nearly as pretty as her, i'm just-"richie suddenly looks like he might get sick, his face paler than usual as the steam from your tea dwindles idly between you. he cuts you off. "-why are you - why are you saying all these things y/n/n-”
“heather. you like heather.” you say frantically, trying to remind him so you dont have to live through this fresh faced heartbreak twice as painful if he kisses you again. 
but richie shakes his head, and your confusion skyrockets just as much as your heartbeat."no. a-amy asked her out." he says breathlessly. "-she said yes."
you blink, pulling even further away as it dawns on you. "wait. so... so you only want to see me after the girl you wanted finds someone else?" you ask, watching as the smile gets smacked off of richie's face so quickly you think it may give him whiplash. "wait, no-" he starts, but you shake your head.
“richie, do you understand how hurtful that is?” you say, voice heavy as you try not to let tears fall.
he shakes his head, eyes glossing with tears as he gapes at you, “n-no, y/n-“
“fuck, richie. i know you know about my feelings for you. how could you do this? i’m not heather, i’m reminded that every time i’m in the same room as the two of you. she’s had you completely mesmerized for the last month, you can’t just use me to distract yourself.” you say, your tea completely forgotten as a tear escapes your eye.
he shakes his head, looking at you with an emotion you don’t have the energy to decipher. “leave, richie.” your voice is broken and it shakes as you look away from him.
you’re not sure what you were expecting, but when richie stands up silently you dont even look away from the window. you see him wipe his cheek in your peripheral before he sighs quietly and walks out of your room, shutting the door quietly.
you cry openly as you hear your door shut downstairs, your hands shaking as you cover your face, your shoulders shaking with sobs. you make it under your covers just as you hear a car engine sputter outside, your heart empty and lips still tingling as the feeling of richie’s lips linger on yours. you groan into your pillow and let out another sob, your eyes squeezing in agony as your heart feels like it’s ripping in two.
because even if they’re not together, richie still likes her.
why couldn’t you be heather?
you cry until you’re asleep, your now cold mug of tea resting on the windowsill as your phone charges next to you and snow swirls in the dark sky.
when you wake up the next morning, your headache is nearly blinding. you feel like crying more as you remember last night. you roll over and rub your eyes, unlocking your phone groggily.  
but you check your notifications and your heart immediately stops as you see a missed call from richie at 3:49 in the morning last night, and a voicemail left a minute later.
well, you guess he got his phone back.
your fingers tremble as they hover above the play button, feeling like you may vomit from anxiety - the message he left is two minutes long.
closing your eyes, ready for even more heartbreak, you press play and hold the speaker to your ear.
“um, y/n.” the voicemail starts off, and you’re already tearing up because richie’s voice is full to the brim with anxiety and he’s not using his usual nicknames for you. 
“uh... okay, i- i know it’s four in the morning, and you’re probably asleep - god, i hope you are, and that you’re not ignoring me. not that i dont deserve it, but i just want you to get good rest. uh, a-anyways. fuck,” there’s an awkward pause and you’re holding your breath.
“you know i’m not good with phone calls or voicemails-“ his rambling just adds to your anxious feeling, but you think if you don’t listen to this, your anxiety would eat you alive.
“- fuck, i don’t know how to say this. kind of ironic, i guess, since i’ve been thinking about saying it like every day for probably more than a year- okay, i’m... god, spit it out, trashmouth.” his voice gets thicker and you can hear the emotion as he takes a shallow breath.
“y/n/n, you make my hands shake. i swear, my heart feels like it’s going to backfire and explode when we touch... and it scares me so fucking bad.” you feel your heart halt in your chest, the air leaving your lungs.
you keep the phone pressed tightly to your ear as richie’s recorded voice goes on.
“-fuck, y/n. i’m terrified. sometimes i think.... like, whoever created me... they designed me just to be yours. and... it’s not in the same way i feel about bev, or bill, or eddie-“ his voice breaks as he sniffs on the other end and it dawns on you that he’s crying. “-you’re you. you’re y/n. i tried to like heather as more than just a friend. but...” it’s silent for a second.
“i just kept comparing her to you. i do that with everybody. i think i’m broken. i love you so much that it hurts.” he’s crying enough by now that it’s leaking into his speech; he’s hiccuping, stuttering slightly, his inflection changing as you can almost picture the tears rolling off his thick eyelashes and onto his rosy cheeks.
“-and i can’t sleep right now knowing that i hurt you like this. i can’t believe that i let you think of yourself as lesser than heather in any way-“ he sobs quietly in the recording and takes a stuttering breath. "i can’t believe i put myself before you. i’m such a shitty friend. i should’ve been giving you my stupid fucking sweaters the whole time.” 
tears are pouring out of your eyes as you sit up, ripping the comforter off your legs. you’re pulling on socks and your shoes as you continue to listen to richie’s voicemail.
“i’m sorry that i kissed you, and i’m sorry that i dragged you into this m-mess, that i used heather as an excuse to ignore my feelings for you. i-i love you so fucking much, and i’m just so scared of hurting you. i’m so sorry that i hurt you, y/n.”
you have to see him.
“-and, um, i’m sorry i left this voice message. this is probably the worst way to find this out but i figured that it would be easier for us to ignore if it wasn’t in person- y’know, because you don’t have to respond. just- now you know. that i’m sorry, and that i don’t expect you to forgive me or want to speak to me for a while. i just- i need you to know that you’re so loved, y/n. and that you deserve so much better than me.
“so, um, okay. i’ll let you sleep now. b-bye.” he whispers the end and then the line cuts dead.
you’re left with shaking breath and tears in your eyes as his voice rings in your head. you try to take in what he’s just said, but you think you’re about to pass out.
how can richie love you back?
you brush your teeth almost aggressively as your heart beats erratically in your chest and then you’re suddenly flying down the snowy road towards the tozier’s house.
you realize too late that you look completely awry, hair unbrushed, eyes puffy and swollen, shoes untied as you knock on the front door of richie's house.
went opens the door, richie’s younger sister sat on his hip as he smiles at you, "y/n! long time no see. richie's upstairs in his room."
you smile at him in thanks, too rushed to say anything to him or munch. then you’re all but sprinting up the stairs, only feeling the anxiety as you throw open the door to his bedroom. 
you're relieved that he's laying in his bed, surrounded by pillows and fluffy comforters as he jumps from the noise of your arrival.
when he sits up, neither of you say anything. his eyes are red and rimmed with tears, a heartbreaking sight as his lower lip trembles slightly. you're sure you look the same as you take a step towards his bed, your eyes not leaving each other's for a second.
he looks incredible, still. 
"y/n..." he whispers finally, his eyes wide. "did you get my message?" he says, lips tilting in a stupid, forced smile. his voice holds no humor in it's sad thickness, though, and you sigh as you look down to the carpet.
you shake your head, "can you not joke for a minute, rich?"
he laughs wetly, standing up fully and although he towers at 6'0, he looks so small. "i can try, doll, but then i'll start to cry a lot, and that's just not what anybody wants-"
"richie." you say, effectively ceasing his rambling. it's cold in his room, bright white from the snow outside, and silent. he looks at you with huge eyes and a red nose.
but you don't know what to say. you’ve spent so long wanting to be heather, but now you've found out that richie's loved you this whole time. it hurts, but you can't wait another second being away from richie. 
you launch yourself towards him, grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him down to your mouth.
this time, the kiss is warm, unexpected again but much more loving. it's a kiss that tastes like tears and love and trust, and all you can feel is richie as his hands find purchase on your cheek and back, pulling you so close to him that you can feel is rapid heartbeat.
he pulls back to mumble against your lips, "i'm so sorry." you shake your head, pressing another kiss to his and loving the feeling of richie against you finally. "i love you." you say, feeling his grin against your mouth.
"i love you so much." he says, pulling you lightly to fall onto his bed with him and tickling your sides.
you laugh lightly, swatting at his prodding fingers. "please stop crying." he whispers, laying above you with a small smile. you roll your eyes, "you stop crying rich." you retort, and he shakes his head, one of his tears falling onto your cheek. you jump from the feeling and wipe it away, sniffling a gasp and pulling him into a tight hug, his legs tangling with yours.
“i’m sorry.” he mumbles. you cup his cheeks so his lips pucker out and you smile at him, whispering, “i forgive you, rich. i love you.” and then you place a soft kiss to his lips and he kisses you back enthusiastically.  he pulls back and hugs you again, burrowing himself in your neck. 
"i didn't think i'd ever get you." he says, muffled by his face in your shoulder. "thank you for trusting me. i love you so much." he kisses your collarbone lightly and your fingers play through his curls lightly as you smile, eyes closing. you're so tired.
"i love you more, richie."
you fall asleep with richie curled up beside you, his breath light on your chest and arms clutching you against him. you fall asleep with richie’s lips on your neck, his legs entangled with yours. 
you fall asleep contently, knowing that you no longer have to wish you were heather.
tag list: @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings​ @stenbrozier​ @simplesammyx​   @brxken-heartsclub​ @clownsloveyou​ @moon-shine-baby​ @daughter-of-the-stars11  @trashedfortozier​ @oceandog13​ @finnskindofwoman  @kait-tozier @upamongthestarss @fiantomartell @beverlyparkerr @beauregard-s @diorbubs @leighjaenikhowell @cowbellies @deepestofwaters  <33
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horsegirlcastiel · 3 years
Text
eternal skyline of a spotless mind- or the one where the first 5 or so minutes of 15x20 are the only minutes i accept. 
in which i ramble a whole ficlet on accident and y’all i need the full fic. yes there’s a tinnnny bit of smut. also spn 15x20 spoilers slightly 
now i want the fic where dean applies to be a mechanic, gets the job, does real good. he and miracle live in the bunker, sam and eileen moved out a year ago now to follow a job opportunity for eileen. it’s a big place to be alone in. he keeps watching over and over all of the movies he has in a file entitled ‘cas’ favourites’ he sips whiskey, a responsible amount, and pets miracles head while his head is on his lap. sometimes he dives into the lore, he’s glad sam isnt here to give him shit about finally doing his research, but he’s trying to find a way to cas. to save him. and one day he tries to mix up a spell thatll open a portal into the dark nothing and his ingredients sputter and spark and he thinks it’s gonna work this is it, and it just doesnt. the smoke clears, the sparks stop popping, and there’s nothing. and so that night he goes into the dungeon draped in one of cas’ old trenchcoats and he sits in that spot he had to sit years ago and he cries, and miracle sits beside him and he cries because he’s trying he’s trying to live for love he’s trying to do right by cas and he just....he cant...cas died thinking dean didnt...didnt love him. and god, does dean love him. so he cries and he whispers iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou and he falls asleep on the concrete, uses miracle as a pillow but dean doesnt think he minds. and he wakes up in the morning, eyes puffy, and he drags himself to work, and he’s back to square one. and this continues for a while, dean doesnt really remember when he tried the spell, but it’s been a while. a month, maybe more. and he goes into work, and there’s a new car for him to work on. it’s old, a classic, but dean kinda thinks she’s more junk than classic, sue him, and he starts working on it, and he opens the trunk to pop a particularly stubborn dent out of it, the client’s not paying for that but he just can’t let the car be driven around all beat up, and there, right in the trunk, is a trenchcoat. bundled up, and tan and big and dean grabs it, he shouldnt but he does and his heart is beating so fast as he brings it to his nose and smells it and it’s cas it has to be and so he rushes to the front office, demands to know who the client is, when are they coming by and as he’s going completely wild wanting to know everything it suddenly goes calm. because there, in a worn flannel and blue jeans, is cas. castiel. and dean just looks for a moment, to convince himself its real, and then hes rushing to a wide eyed cas and saying ‘you stupid son of a bitch’ and crashing his lips into those ones which he has wanted for and then cas isnt really kissing back so dean stops because he...he cant take anything more from cas, he needs to give and he...he stops himself because what if...what if this wasn’t what cas wanted, so he pulls back, lets his hands linger on the soft of the flannel, and then cas is speaking, head quirked, ‘do i...do i know you?’ and fuck. his heart drops right out of his ass. his knees buckles and hes on his way down when castiel catches him, pulls him up, hand on his shoulder, and he holds on to him. and dean lets out a ‘you don’t remember?’ and castiel says, ‘no. i...i dont i’m so sorry.’ and dean thinks all hope is lost until cas asks, ‘i know this is too much to ask but it...appears i know you, and i kind of just, woke up one day in a field and i...i dont really have anywhere to go..and um’ and hes rambling but he’s determined to get his little angel back, all the way back, so he says, ‘you wanna come home with me, angel?’ and cas grins and dean wants to see that grin everyday of his life. so he finishes cas’ car, lets him trail behind as they drive to the bunker. he doesn’t explain it really, just opens the door and says ‘well, heres the place’ and cas walks in and looks at everything with such wonder. and he brushes his fingers across the gold embossing of an angel on one of the books there and dean just watches, listens to cas breathing, aches to touch.
he sets cas up in his old room, cas quirks a head when he sees all the suits and ties in the closet, says something like ‘now i understand why i woke up looking like a tax accountant’ and hes being good old cas, sticking so close to dean and he’s sitting beside him to watch a movie and miracle is sprawled across their legs and cas says, ‘i could get used to this’ and dean says, ‘yeah cas, me too.’ so they sit and they watch and they repeat that day in day out and the bunker isnt so lonely anymore, and he and cas do everything together, and dean researches spells to get cas’ memory back. he thinks it has to do with the fact that his grace got ripped out in the process, theres a small nick on his adams apple that he recognizes as the place it must have left, but he coughs himself out of thinking about that neck and those lips and that hair and those thighs and- he hasnt kissed cas since the first day, he longs to. he sees the way this cas looks at him and he wonders. he wonders if maybe...maybe this castiel can learn to love him again. and it’s going on a year now. cas works down at the local flower shop and has an apiary on the hill above the bunker, deans still in his same routine of life, and they’re not...they’re in the same place they were before cas confessed. just, in this middle ground, this unspoken something, so as he lies beneath a car he decides, the happiness isnt in the having its in just being in just saying it, so he goes home that night, picks up flowers from a competing shop bc he doesnt wanna spoil the surprise, and sets up the table. cas’ name is still carved there, cas had laughed when he first saw it because “what kind of long name is that,” and dean was bursting with fond. and anyways he lays down a table cloth and lights a candle and waits. shaking in his skin just waiting for cas to get home, and then cas is walking in saying ‘hello, dean’ and running down the stairs, groceries in paper bags overflowing in his arms, and his hair is disheveled and dean helps grab a bag and puts it in the kitchen and waits for cas to follow and see...the set up. and cas asks, what’s this about? and dean looks at cas and takes a deep breath and says, ‘someone once told me there’s happiness in just....fuck...in just saying it so here goes. and its okay if you..if you dont but...’ and cas is getting closer, his head quirked and deans heart is beating out of his chest and he says ‘i love you.’ and then cas is rumbling, ‘dean, look at me’ and so he does, looks up into wide blue eyes and cas is smiling. smiling so big and beautiful and dean wants to hear it he needs to hear it he needs- ‘i love you too, dean winchester’ and then theyre kissing again, kissing and holding and deans a little embarrassed but hes crying and then theyre skipping dinner entirely and cas has his hand on deans bare shoulder and hes shivering into the touch its so overwhelming and he fucks himself down onto cas’ cock and cas digs his fingernails into deans thighs and looks up at him blue and beautiful and overwhelming and deans pretty sure he blacks out when he comes except, he doesnt, because his eyes are open and the lights in the room are all busted and cas is lying there under him looking up, dean thinks so at least, he can’t really see him and so he laughs and he laughs and he’s not really registering what happened, a beautifully timed power outage like something divine saying this is how you met and he’s here still and you finally have him and so he climbs off of cas and grabs something to wash them up and a candle or two from the table and when he comes back, and wipes the damp cloth gingerly across cas’ body he notices cas tense and he sees in the candlelight cas is looking very serious and he stops being sweet just asks ‘cas? whats wrong’ and cas says, ‘dean? dean. dean winchester... dean...righteous soul the one i fell for and will always fall for the one i love the one i have always...’ and dean dives back on top of cas and kisses him senseless because now cas remembers everything before and he remembers everything after and everything now and its perfect
and honestly they still arent really sure what happened except that maybe the spell needed angel mojo so it snagged it from cas or maybe the empty curled itself around cas mind and all it needed was the Loud of too many emotions to overflood it but all that matters is that they are here together.
and then one day, at the dinner table, cas looks at dean and he says ‘dean, will you....’ and he shuffles inside his pocket and presses a box into deans hand and its- ‘will you marry me?’ and dean is practically leaping over the table to kiss cas and saying “yes yes yes of course of course i wanna grow old with you i wanna be with you always in life and death in everything always together”
and cas is crying because he could have what he wanted, he has the one thing he wants most and dean wants him most too.
and then dean is pulling back and cas is looking pensive and he says, ‘there is one thing, dean.’ and dean looks worried so he places his hand on his knee and he says, ‘i want to be human, all the way human.’ and dean looks like he wants to protest or cry and hes not sure which it is but then dean is crying and saying ‘ill help’ and then the next day theyre out with the bees, because cas thinks his grace will do them good, and dean holds cas’ hand in his tightly and follows that little nick on his throat and opens it ever so slightly with the angel blade and tries not to think about how hes hurting the person he loves and he loves and he loves and then the grace is flowing away and dean captures it in a bottle, hands it to cas, who later pats it down in the ground so they can grow a new tree, and dean gives cas two little stitches on his throat and kisses all around them and washes cas hair for him in the shower and then
when the day comes, they go together, they get to live with one another and watch the sunsets on their front porch with miracle and jack and sam and eileen all looking out over an eternal skyline.
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banghwa · 3 years
Note
I know ur doing homework right now so don't feel pressured to respond right away but would you mind expanding on what you mean by unpalatable mental illness in the BTS members? I guess I never noticed anything ? off? abt taehyung but I haven't been a fan for too long so I don't know too much about them or the personal information they've shared about themselves
thank u for being patient w me anon 😭😭😭 i meant in a more hypothetical sense than anything speculative; example, if bts hadn’t smiled and waved politely to the people who tracked their 14 hour flight and showed up at the airport to see them and looked even the slightest bit more annoyed and tired and stressed, people would be writing essays about how theyre rude and "never meet your idols" blah blah blah. 
like i’ve noticed in general how a lot of fans will praise bts or other artists for starting conversations on mental health in their music, but the moment that they’re visibly tired or upset or don’t "behave" a certain way, it’s put under a microscope and dissected and blown up and ridiculed or belittled. like in the last couple years taehyung especially got a lot of shit for being straight-faced or looking like he wasn’t enjoying himself at times. I’ve seen so many fans take that as him being rude and disrespectful or him being “sassy”, only for him to come out later about how he has been dealing with a really difficult depression. 
i’ve seen instances where fans feel entitled to and DEMAND details about members’ mental health, or speculate publically about it without considering whether that kind of information is something said member wants being public gossip. on the flip side i’ve seen times where members actually express their mental health needs like not getting stalked or about how damaging dieting and stress have been to them or when they break down in tears backstage ive seen fans look at that and make it into a fanfic trope or a joke. its not so much about “noticing” things “wrong” with bts as much as it is fans acting entitled to their stress and exhaustion and what they mean off of assumptions.
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peachiikawa · 3 years
Text
Fly | Route Selected: O. Tooru
genre: mafia au, choose your own adventure
warnings: honestly nothing too bad in this route
word count: 3.1k
Fly Masterlist
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“I choose--”
But before you could even finish your sentence, the front door opened and an arm draped around your shoulders
“They’ll be with me”
You looked to see who had just walked in and were stunned to see such a beautiful man
“Very funny oikawa, now let them go. This is a personal matter”
Daichi took a step forward and you could feel the tension in the air
But the silence was broken with a chuckle from oikawa
“Dont worry so much daichi. They arent just a threat to you theyre a threat to the entire community so to make your burden easier ill gladly take them in. you have better things to worry about anyways”
The smile on his face was far from a friendly one
Even you could tell it was a bit condescending and it made you a bit scared
He led you out the door but not before turning his head one last time
“Tell your old man seijou gives their regards”
With that he led you to his car and got you buckled in
“Now where do you live..?”
“My name is y/n and i live down the street and around the block”
He drove you home and made sure you got into your apartment
“Come in tomorrow whenever youd like, preferable before noon though. Heres my card if you have any questions. Goodnight y/n!”
He kept the conversation brief and didnt look back as he left
As soon as you closed the door you leaned against it and slid down onto the ground
Just what had you gotten yourself into?
You couldnt really sleep that night knowing that in the morning you were going to be working with the mafia
So you took an early shower and got to the address on the card oikawa gave you the night before around eight o’clock
You took a nervous breath before walking into the gigantic corporate building
‘Seijoh Industries’
The company had a long reputation of being in the modeling and fashion industry
It scared you to think that so many big companies were involved in who knows what else
You pushed the glass doors open and immediately got lost
Like how do you even navigate the inside of this building???
It wasnt long before you got stopped
...by some guy with blonde hair with lines in them
Was he trying to look like a tennis ball??
As he steps toward you you take one back until youre against a wall
“What the fuck are you doing here? Youd better leave. Now”
You feel like your stomach is about to drop before you hear that all too familiar voice
“Maddog what are you doing to y/n! Its their first day you shouldnt be so mean”
Oikawa grabbed your hand and led you down the hall to a pristine office
He sat down behind his desk and organized a few papers for you
“Youre here bright and early. I was half expecting you to just not show up”
His eyes glanced up from the papers in his hands for a brief moment
“But im glad you did it would have been a..hassle to find you”
The way that sentence came out of his mouth with that smile on his face sent a shiver down your back
He handed you a few papers and a list of tasks to do
Most of which consisted of you running errands and organizing some cabinets around the building
“Finish those and if you get done with that before the end of the day you can do whatever. Just dont poke your nose where it doesnt belong”
The smile on his face never left once your entire conversation and it left you with a weird feeling in your gut
As you turned to leave you just couldnt shake the weird feeling you got every time you saw it
But you went on your way, trying not to think about it too hard
You did each task with ease and you really thought that some of them were a bit unnecessary since most of the things on the list were already done
It was almost therapeutic doing normal things, it at least made you feel less nervous
It didnt take you long before you finished your tasks
“Hey you”
You jumped at the sound of someone’s voice and slowly turned towards a man with short and spiky brown hair
He held out a couple of papers to you
“I need you to make a few copies of these and then bring them to trashykawa”
Your eyebrows furrowed and he noticed your confusion
“I mean Oikawa. Sorry, force of habit. Im Iwaizumi by the way. I work over in communications''
You fumbled with the papers in your hands, trying to get a grip before he noticed how nervous you were
His sharp eyes were fixed on you which made you even more self-conscious 
You let out a shaky breath before introducing yourself
“Im y/n. Its my first day working here”
He nodded his head
“Yeah well just lay low if you want to survive this mess. Ill see you later y/n.”
A few weeks go by and it seems to be the same thing filling your days
This place wasnt as scary as you first thought and everyone seemed nice enough
The beeping from the copy machine brought you back to reality from your daydream and headed back to oikawas office
Though you had been here for almost a month now, it never got easier to be around him
Something was just too off putting about him
You took a deep breathe before knocking on the door to which you got a muffled “come in”
He didnt look up as you set the papers on his desk and only looked back up at you when he didnt hear your leave
He took off the glasses he was wearing and set them down in front of him
“Can i help you with something?”
Again, that smile on his face just...didnt feel right
“I was done with my work, is there anything else I can do for you?”
He just shook his head
“That should be it for me! Why dont you go see if iwa needs anything?”
You could tell that he wanted nothing more than to have just a moment to himself
And the constant flow of people probably didnt help
“This might be bold of me to say but that smile you wear around people...you dont need to put up any false pretenses around me. I know my situation and I know it isnt all sunshine and rainbows so feel free to be yourself around me. So one last time, before I go, do you need anything?”
His eyes were wide at what you just said
You had only been here for what? A few weeks? With minimal contact as well
So how did you notice?
The only other person whos ever called him out on it was iwaizumi
And he hated being read like this but he kept that smile up
“Nope im fine”
You nodded and left, closing the door behind you
And as soon as you did he threw his pen down on his desk and held his head in his hands
How...how did you see through him
He had carefully made this mask of his so that no one would be able to see how he was feeling
Emotions were a weakness
He didnt need them
And he sure as hell didnt need you
The next week he made it his mission to completely ice you out
No contact at all
And it made you kind of frustrated
The man steals you away from the other mafia you almost became affiliated with and just throws you to the side?
So you went to him after him doing whatever he could to make sure he avoided you
The man literally had tennis-head outside of his office to scare you away
“What are you doing”
The sudden voice behind you almost made you scream
“Oh iwaizumi! Dont scare me like that!”
You smacked his shoulder as you two hid around the corner from oikawas office
“If you must know im trying to get into oikawas office. I'm sick of his avoiding me like im the plague”
Iwaizumi let out a deep sigh
He knew why oikawa was avoiding you
And he also thought it was a little much
Wasnt it about time he stopped being scared?
“Tell you what y/n, ill distract kenta and while i do you can sneak into oikawas office”
Your eyes sparkled and he almost wanted to laugh
“Really?!” 
He nodded and patted your head
“Get that idiot out of his funk”
He then walked up to kenta and walked off with him, giving you a thumbs up behind his back
And when they were out of sight you knocked on oikawas door and didnt wait for him to respond before barging in
To say he was shocked was an understatement
“What are you-”
“Stop. Before you go on about how youre busy just please listen to me. I dont know what i did to deserve this amount of avoidance but if its about what i said that day, i dont regret what i said. And i wish you would stop avoiding your problems and just confront them”
Confront his problems?
What the hell do you know about his problems
“So you came in here to tell me that? What the fuck do you know about me? Youre just some street rat that poked their nose where it didnt belong. You dont know me so stop trying to tell me what to fucking do! Emotions make you weak and i dont need that”
At this point he had you backed against a wall
And when he realized what just happened he pushed himself away from you
God what the hell was he even doing
Hes spent years perfecting his facade
And then you come barging in and it just breaks?
You slowly approached him and put a hand on his shoulder
“See? Was that so bad? Honestly, seeing you like that was refreshing. Feel free to keep the mindset that emotions make you weak, i wont try to convince you otherwise. Thats a realization you need to make on your own but for now please dont hold back around me”
For the first time in a while oikawas heart stood still, almost as if he could feel himself again
“Whatever. I still have paperwork to do so leave or make yourself useful”
He shrugged your hand off of him and went back to his desk
You just smiled and nodded your head
“Ill be back with a coffee for you!”
And when you exited you bumped into the back of kentarou
“Ah sorry! Ill be back!”
As you ran off kenta took a step toward you
“What the hell..get back here!”
But before he could take another oikawa cleared his throat
“You can leave your post mad-dog. Youre no longer needed here”
Kenta nodded his head but was too shocked to move for a moment, caught off guard by the small smile that lingered on his boss’ face
The couple weeks after that you were allowed back in his office and he even started to request your presence at times for no other reason than he just wanted you to sit in the room with him
And that smile he used to give you was now replaced by a soft, genuine smile that made your heart flutter
Little things started to become more noticeable to you
Like how cute it was when he pouted his lips when he was really focused
And honestly he was too
Your smile was maddening
And your laugh made him feel like he was being swallowed whole, unable to breath
It scared him
Nothing good has ever happened when he became emotionally attached to someone
“Oikawa, are you okay?”
You put your hand up to his forehead and checked for a fever
He could feel his cheeks heating up and gently swatted your hand away
“No im fine. Dont worry about me”
He watched your face fill with concern and his heart lurched forward
This feeling...it scared him. But for now, if its you, hes willing to see where this goes
“Good morning oikawa!”
You walked into his office with his morning coffee which he gladly took from your hands
“Good morning y/n”
He had a job later and needed all the energy he could get
But not before having his morning conversation with you
“I'm leaving around noon with maki and mattsun. Iwa’s in charge till i get back so if you need anything ask him”
You could tell by the way he was talking that it was something serious and therefore probably something to do with the mafia
Sure you had done a few things for Seijoh like fax some papers and have oikawa sign a few things but nothing to where oikawa needed to leave has ever come up
He could see anxiety cloud over your face
“Hey”
He grabbed your hand and gave it a small squeeze
“I’ll be fine. You have nothing to worry about, okay?”
You nodded your head
“Please be safe”
Worry reflected in your eyes and it made him almost go weak
All he could do was nod and give a half smile
The entire time he was away you sat at his desk anxiously waiting for his return
...
“Cough up the money oikawa. We had a deal”
Oikawa looked at the man in front of him with his trademark empty smile
“That wasnt our deal. Now give us what you owe”
The room was tense but nothing that oikawa hasnt dealed with before
But his world soon turned upside down with what was thrown on the table that stood between them next
The color drained from his face as he looked at pictures taken of you without anyone knowing
“Where the hell did you get these”
The man in front of him just laughed
“Now thats an interesting expression oikawa. Never thought id see the day where that smile of yours wasnt on your face”
His knuckles were turning white from how hard he was clenching his fists
“You know, it would almost be a shame if something were to happen to them”
Oikawas eyes widened in fear
It felt as if time around him had stopped for this one moment
And it made him want to puke
“Dont you dare lay a hand on them”
His jaw was so tense that he thought he was about to pop a blood vessel
“Then give us the money”
He wasnt left with much of a choice
So he did what he was told
“See? Was that so hard?”
“Are we done here?”
He was itching to get back as soon as possible
To make sure you were okay
He couldnt rest until he knew you were fine
“Yes now leave”
The car ride seemed to last forever, maki and mattsun had never seen their boss like this and exchanged subtle glances the entire ride
As soon as the car stopped he ran into the building and to your desk
And when he saw you werent there his heart dropped
‘Where are you, y/n?!’
The only other place you could be was his office
He slammed his door open only to see you jump up from his desk, the sleep in your eyes still evident
He let out the breath he didnt even know he was holding as soon as his eyes landed on you
He went straight over to you and pulled you into his arms
The tightness of the hold around you was comforting yet alarming
You brought your arms up to wrap around him and you swear you could feel him slightly shaking
“Oikawa?”
You voice was soft and made him feel weak in the knees
“Just…let me stay like this for a moment”
After that day you were moved into his home and he never left your side
He never fully explained what happened that day
But you knew it had shaken him
Especially since you havent seen his smile since then
You were escorted everywhere
And when you asked why you were only given the short answer of “i said i’d guard you so i'm doing that”
You didnt mind being with him, really
If anything you liked being able to be with him all the time
You just hoped you werent being a hindrance
So one night as you laid in bed while oikawa sat on the ground next to you leaning against the bed frame, you turned towards him
He had been doing this lately to “guard” you and you knew he wasnt sleeping much
“Oikawa”
His eyes immediately met yours
“Am i being a burden on you?”
Though it was dark, he could hear the sadness in your voice
“I just feel like ive been holding you back lately and thats the last thing i want to do”
He cupped your face with his hand and gently stroked your cheek
“Not to mention that you havent smiled once since coming back that day and it just all feels very distant and lonesome. I hope you know that you can talk to me, i’ll never judge you for anything”
And in those few simple words the gate that had been holding back all of his emotions back suddenly broke
“y/n im scared”
His head hung low as his lips trembled
“Im scared to lose you and im scared that ive become weak since being with you but i just cant let you go. Losing you makes me feel more terrified than anything else”
The thought of losing you made it feel as if he was drowning and the water was filling his lungs with a burning sensation
You sat up in your bed and took his hand in yours
“Then why dont you turn that fear into strength? Hiding me...putting me under 24 hour surveillance...its no different than running. I dont want to be away from you either oikawa”
How did you always clear his head? It was like your words just made everything make sense
He made his way onto your bed and started to kiss you, soft yet hungry for more
He could never get enough of you
You made his heart full
And you became his strength
You made him strong and he could never forget this debt
taglist:  @the-ironic-me @multisun @my-mass-hysteria @sugawsites @youbloodylegendyoudidit @sinthxy @celamoon​ @tinymouth @fait-de-fleurs @tsukifanbase​ @69owo​ @laglyssage @hearteyeskags​ @ntngann​ @shnnn​ @fukuro-dani-ace​​ @exponentially-tired​​ @soy1melk​
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sadwizardgirl · 3 years
Text
My Campaign 2 Thoughts
Alrighty folks. We're here. We made it. I’m running on like, 3 hours of sleep and my coffee hasn't kicked in yet so bear with me if I ramble/don't make sense. I’ll take things by character I think? 
Once I finally typed everything I wanted out, I decided to put a keep reading thing. Its a long one I’m so sorry haha. But yeah, click on it if you want to hear someone’s tired ramblings about how much they love the Mighty Nein. Obviously spoilers below... <3
One last thing - I want to say thank you to everyone who I have interacted on here with. I would have never, ever thought that I would live blog Critical Role when I started watching it. And because I have, it makes me happy that I’ve found lots of nice Critters like me to follow, like, reblog, laugh and cry with all at the same time. You guys are really cool, so thanks for letting me be a small part of it all <3 
Molly/Kingsley - 
I’m honestly not fully shocked that we didn’t get Molly back after all that. I think Tal has said that Molly is gone and will stay gone. Maybe this is how Molly was when he first woke up, but we obviously didn’t see that part, and neither did Yasha. So honestly, the only people to know would be the people down at the circus. I’m personally okay with the differences in Kingsley and Molly but I like that Kingsley wanted to call Molly his brother at least and learn about him later on. Remember when Molly said he didn't want to learn who his previous self/selves were? The pirate life for Kingsley is --- interesting haha. I’m not hating it, I can definitely see a Jack Sparrow kind of vibe. I just didn't think Tal would go for a pirate type life for him. Thats all :) 
Cad - 
I’m also not surprised at what Cad chose either. It was interesting to see his whole EMPATHY routine with Trent. Thats been a side of Cad no one has seen. I know I’ve seen some people say that they were sad that after all this adventuring, that Cad would just chose to live at the Blooming Grove and never leave again. But didn't Tal say that Cad would take walks out of there and explore for segments of time? Like 6 months, then a year, then a couple years. I could have sworn he said that and that he would go visit his friends in those spans too. But I could have totally imagined it/took it that way. 
Veth- 
This totally makes sense. I was sad to see her go before the whole Trent thing, I would have loved to see her stand by Calebs side during it but I get it, She missed her family and they would see each other again anyway. I 100% would love if the M9 had a summer camp. Like, I’m just saying. That needs to be a one shot. I don't have much else to say other than I’m glad that this is the ending for Veth and nothing else. 
Yasha- 
Again, I’m super happy with this one. It makes sense that she would want to go see her wife and the whole Stormlord thing???? Fucking awesome. I’m glad that Yasha has finally found peace and love with someone and is content. Thats all I want for Yasha. I’m glad that Kingsley seeks her out to find out about Molly too. 
Beau - 
WOW. Okay. So not only does she help take down Trent but also her dad stuff? Fucking great! I’m so glad that Beau has gotten to this point in her life. Not only has she brought down corrupt people, but also learned to love throughout everything she's been through. I’m sorry, I with my tired brain can think of more good things but I’m just super happy about this. 
Fjord -
For some reason, Fjord’s ending made me cry. I don't know if its because its been awhile since we’ve gotten true Fjord lore stuff where Travis absolutely NAILS the roleplaying or what. But literally as soon as he raised his hand to say hi to Vandran, I started crying. He’s been looking for answers for so long and he finally got them. I think its very on brand that he just sailed out willy nilly knowing what happens but at least Matt was merciful haha. I think That plus his love for Jester and suggesting they find a place was so very sweet and totally them. I’m sort of glad that he left his ending so vague. Because imagine the sea one shots we can have with Fjord going to Darktow or finding Sabien once and for all etc. 
Jester - 
I’m --- I’m torn with Jester. I’m glad that Jester wants to travel more and see the world still and thats what she's doing with Fjord. I think I’m more of torn just because I’m so used to Jester being SO over the top with everything she does (in a good way) but then I guess that means she's maturing and growing up. I’m glad that she left her ending vague as well for the same reasons as Fjord. SIDENOTE: It’ll be interesting to see if any of this leads into the VM vs M9 show off and if there's going to be canon involved or what. 
Caleb - 
I left Caleb for last. Not only because he's been my favorite character all campaign long. But because most of the buzz is coming from his ending. I’ll preface this first --- I’ve never been an outright Essek/Caleb shipper. I’ve loved their moments together and am not against them in any shape or form. I’m just not one of the die hards shippers. Same with Caleb/Astrid/Wulf. 
BUT - With that being said, I’m very happy with Calebs ending. I’ve seen some people that are mad that he didn't do what he set out to do - which was take down the corruption. But Liam said that he sees that aspect of his life as a life long endeavor. So just because he takes up the teaching gig - which I’m so happy with btw; more on that in a bit- doesn't mean he stopped. You can root out the corruption from within and I think Caleb started to realize that was going to be the best way. I’m glad he didn't take the place of Trent. I think things could have gone horribly wrong even if he was at the top. Am I thrilled that Astrid is there? Not particularly no but its better than Trent. Caleb being a teacher makes so much sense. At the beginning of the campaign, Nott was always telling people that Caleb was the one teaching her the magic she had, plus the trading notes with Yussa and Essek over the years. It all leads to him teaching. Finally being the teacher --- the right teacher for the future generations of wizards. He was never going to accomplish that in Trents place. 
Now --- the elephant in the room, Essek. I’m 100% okay with this part of Caleb’s story. I’m glad that he did go back to Aeor and learn what he could. I think its what Essek said. That he wouldn't change his past because it led him to that moment with Caleb, but then still offered to help Caleb if thats what he wanted to do for himself. I’m happy that Caleb finally let go of the part of his past that kept his guilt so present. He’ll always remember his parents and what he did, but he's allowing himself to walk through that door and to start finally healing. Let me tell you how much I ugly cried when we finally heard what his plan had been all these years AND what that second book was that he never told us about. Liam O’Brien you poetic son of a bitch I love you so much. But damn did I ugly cry literally during that whole time. Okay sorry, now Essek. I think them realizing the age differences, being in the relationship for however long they were but then remained friends is so very much like both of them. They are both logical people. To me this makes so much sense. I think I’m in the minority here but it does. Essek will outlive the rest of the M9 so of course they realized eventually there was going to be this elephant in the room when Caleb grew old. I’d like to think Caleb wouldn't want the extra heartbreak on Essek when Caleb eventually dies, then the rest of Essek’s friends die on top of that. Liam said that this campaign, romance in any shape or form was not a priority and I think also that had a part to do with it. I’m glad Caleb just didn’t be alone for the rest of his life and only teaching. I’m glad he reached out to Essek and did that stuff, and then taught Luc. It’s far from the sad wizard boy who was ready to leave the M9 at a moments notice to be alone. 
Sorry for the rambling and VERY LONG post. oh my god I’m so sorry but it just kept coming. haha I’m very sad to see the Mighty Nein go. This campaign was the reason I got into D&D and where I fell in love with it. I fell in love with these nerdy ass voice actors and their characters. BUT it makes me excited for campaign 3 and the future of Critical Role. 
SIDENOTE: WHAT THOUGHTS DO YOU GUYS HAVE ON THE PROJECT THEYRE GOING TO ANNOUNCE NEXT WEEK HUH? I’m glad they mentioned that they aren't ready for Campaign 3 just yet, but Marisha made it at least seem that its on the horizon. I’m sure they want to take the break they deserve and have time to transition from their M9 characters to their new ones. so yeah anyway 
Thank you, Mighty Nein. Long may you all reign. 
11 notes · View notes
izzyfandoms · 4 years
Text
Sleepality - Inky Freckles
SHIPS: Sleepality, background Virmile and Thomgan, and mentioned Dukeceit (though neither of them show up)
WARNINGS: Remus sends one text message with an implied threat (not towards the recipient), very very background sympathetic deceit and remus (they aren't acc in any scenes), mild swearing
GENERAL TAGLIST: @quillfics42 @ajdraws0430 @phantomofthesanderssides @creativity-killed-thekitten @phlying-squirrel @sly-is-my-name-loving-is-my-game @because-were-fam-ily @imtryingthisout @a-creepycookie @emo-disaster @littlestr @spooky-scary-virgil @fuyel @mimsidoodles @soupgremlin @aroaceagenderfluid @birdsbookshiddeninrealbirdsskin @quirkalurk @gingers-trashy-stuff @iinyxtello @justaqueercactus @melodiread
Masterpost
Patton chewed distractedly on the end of his pen, tapping his foot on his bedroom floor as his eyes remained on his clock, watching as the seconds and the minutes ticked by.
Five minutes. Ten seconds.
Five minutes and ten seconds until the moment he turned sixteen.
January 15th, 1:46 am on the dot: the exact date and time of Patton’s birth. Precisely sixteen years after that moment, his soul would open up, and the bond between him and his soulmate would be formed, like an invisible string from one soul to the other. Any ink spilled on Patton’s skin would show up on his soulmate’s, too, and vice versa. Of course, nothing would happen if Patton’s soulmate wasn’t also sixteen yet, but it was still a big moment in his young life.
(If he even had a soulmate, that was. Most people didn’t, but Patton wouldn’t lie and say he wasn’t hopeful.)
Four minutes. Thirty-six seconds.
Patton got up from his desk, pacing around the room a few times before sitting down on his bed, leaning back against the pillows and pulling his knees to his chest. Despite the coolness of his room, and the goose-bumps on his arms, he was dressed in a worn blue t-shirt and pyjama shorts, revealing as much skin as possible, just in case. His father, Roman, had gifted him a new pack of pens – the ones made specially to be safe for skin – and he’d picked out the glittery light blue one, his favourite colour, ready to write.
Three minutes. Twelve seconds.
“Come on, come on, come on,” Patton mumbled.
Three minutes. Seven seconds.
He yawned loudly, stretching and almost dropping his pen. It was late – much later than he usually stayed up. Patton was a well-behaved kid; he went to bed when his father told him to, never stayed out past curfew. He was usually fast asleep by 11pm at latest, so this was rather unusual for him.
Tonight was one of a kind, after all.
Two minutes. Fifty-one seconds.
The tick of the clock was maddeningly slow, every second seeming to take hours. Patton couldn’t wait for when he didn’t have to keep watching.  
He reached over to his bedside table, taking his phone and switching it on.
There was one new message, from his uncle Remus, sent a few minutes ago.
UNCLE REMUS
tell your soulmate if he ever hurts you ill rip off his dick and shove it down his throat
Patton sighed, switching off his phone and placing it back down beside him. He wasn’t sure why his uncle was so certain that he had a soulmate – he claimed it was because he was psychic, though his husband, Janus, had chided him and told him not to get Patton’s hopes up.  
It was hard not to be hopeful. Impossible.
One minute. Forty-nine seconds.
Patton chewed nervously on his lip, looking over his freckled arms and wondering what exactly he’d write to his soulmate.
Would a simple ‘hello’ suffice?
There was no point in writing a whole paragraph, especially when it was statistically unlikely that Patton even had a soulmate – and even if he did, perhaps they were younger, and their connection wouldn’t start until his soulmate turned sixteen, too.
One minute. Zero seconds.
A minute. A minute. A minute. Just a minute until Patton (maybe) talked to his soulmate for the first time. That was so little time – though it felt like so much.
Patton couldn’t help but burst into delighted laughter, and he was sure that if anybody was watching him, they’d think he was insane. The hope bubbled up inside him, like a cup overflowing with water, unable to be suppressed.
Fifty seconds.
He moved forward, and then lay down on his back, spreading his arms out like a starfish.
Patton tried to keep the hope down, tried to keep it from spilling over even more. Or maybe that was nausea, swirling in his stomach, but it almost felt too good to be that. Too happy. Too excited. Both, maybe.
Forty seconds.
Patton twirled the pen in his hand.
It slipped from his fingers, hitting the carpet with a quiet thump.
He bent down – wobbling slightly and nearly tumbling right off his bed – picking it back up and then sitting up again. He moved so his back was pressed against the wall, and tilted his head up to look at the pattern at the ceiling, counting each swirl.
He glanced back at the clock.
Twenty seconds.
His heart thumped loudly in his chest, and his eyes remained on the clock, watching it tick.
Ten seconds.
Nine.
Eight.
Seven.
Six.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
Zero.
Zero. Zero. Zero.
Patton sat up straight, squeezing the pen tightly, so tightly that his nails dug into his palm.
He pulled off the cap, dropping it on the bed beside him and holding the tip just above his wrist. His hand shook (nervousness or excitement? Both) as he pondered what to write for another moment.
He pressed the pen to his skin.
Hello?
Hopefully that was good enough.
Patton waited a few seconds, almost a whole minute, and then sighed, leaning back so his head hit the wall and closing his eyes. He was disappointed, but he knew that it was his own fault. He shouldn’t have let himself get so hopeful. Maybe he didn’t have a soulmate – that was alright, his uncles weren’t soulmates and yet they were wonderfully happy together.
(But his brother, Emile, did have a soulmate, and there was something amazing about the way he and Virgil could practically read each other’s minds, communicating effortlessly without saying a word. Patton wanted that. He really, desperately wanted that, more than anything else in the world.)
He wouldn’t cry.  
He wanted to cry, but he wouldn’t.
His lower lip trembled.
All of a sudden, Patton felt a funny sensation on his wrist, like someone else was writing on it – the non-existent pen so light on his skin he almost couldn’t feel it. Almost.
Patton’s eyes shot open, and he immediately lifted his wrist to stare at it, wide-eyed.
His breath stuttered at the words now written in black ink just below his greeting.
holy shit
Before Patton could truly process what was going on, before he could regain his breath, the sensation resumed, and more words began to appear below those first ones.
hi
guess im ur soulmate lol
Patton couldn’t help but giggle, practically vibrating with excitement.
He picked his pen back up, ignoring the slight stain he’d left on his bedsheets. He’d spilt enough juice and milk on his bed to care about one little stain, especially right now, when he had a much more important thing to focus on.
Oh my gosh!!!!!!
Soulmate!!!
Im Patton!
Patton Picani!!!
thats a lot of exclamation marks babe
Nervousness tinged the edges of Patton’s bubble of excitement, enough that he almost didn’t notice the use of the word ‘babe’, which made his heart skip a beat.
sorry
not a bad thing
its cute
Patton bit his lip, wiggling excitedly as his heartrate increased. He watched as the words continued coming. They were messy, but Patton was sure the handwriting was the prettiest he’d ever seen, though he could admit that he might’ve been a little biased. He would read a million books written in this handwriting.
im Remy
Sanders
my bdays acc the 16th lol
tomorrow
i turn 17
Its my birthday today!!!!
Only after Patton wrote that did he realise how obvious it was – of course it was his birthday – but he didn’t particularly care. The ticking of the clock had faded into background noise, and it was hard to believe it had ever annoyed him so much, though it was impossible for him to think of anything negative right now. He was floating on cloud nine.
happy birthday
were running out of arm space
id have to strip to get leg room
wanna gimme ur number?
Okay!!!
They quickly exchanged phone numbers, and Patton immediately grabbed his phone, creating a new contact labelled ‘Remy’ followed by seven colourful hearts – a rainbow of love. But before he could text Remy, Remy texted him first.
REMY:
what time is it for u
Patton glanced at the clock.
PATTON:
Almost 2am
REMY:
same
Realisation struck Patton, and his eyes widened with guilt and concern. He bit his lip, and quickly resumed typing.
PATTON:
Oh my gosh im so sorry!!!! Did I wake you up?
REMY:
nah babe dw bout it
i was already up
i always sleep late
PATTON:
That sounds unhealthy :(
Get some rest!!!
REMY:
ha
u sound like my dads lol
PATTON:
What are they like?
REMY:
my dads?
its just the three of us
their names are logan and thomas and theyre the sappiest motherfuckers on earth
gotta love em tho
theyre gonna be real thrilled when they find out bout u
bet theyll love you right away
wbu  
whats ur fam like
PATTON:
Oh! Well ive got my dad
His name’s Roman
He works in theatre!!! Hes so cool
And I’ve got my older brother Emile hes 22 and hes a therapist
He uses cartoons to help people!!
Hes also got a soulmate his name is Virgil and hes a florist
They got married last year and the wedding was so much fun!!! So many pretty flowers!!!
And I’ve got my uncle Remus hes my dads twin hes a writer and his husband Janus is a lawyer theyre also both so cool!!!
And that’s everyone!!
REMY:
if theyre all as sweet as u sugar then im sure ur all v popular
PATTON:
Well we do have dinner with our neighbours a lot!!!
Mrs Smith gives me lots of candy
Its often stale but I eat it anyway cos shes just so sweet!
Sweeter than her candy lol
Patton’s door suddenly swung open, and he jumped, his phone slipping from his fingers and landing right in his lap. His father, Roman, stepped inside, yawning and rubbing his eyes, wincing at the bright light that hung from the ceiling.
“You still up, Pat?” He asked sleepily.
He squinted, his eyes landing on the still-on phone in Patton’s lap.
“Who are you te- by the glittering horn of a unicorn! Is that writing on your arm?” He sat down, taking Patton’s arm and looking over the words. He then glanced back up at his son, his eyes shining excitedly. “You have a soulmate,” He breathed.
“I do!” Patton exclaimed, bouncing excitedly in place. “His name is Remy and he turns seventeen tomorrow and he’s just so cool!”
Roman beamed. “Wow, I’m so incredibly happy for you, Pat!” He said. Then, he chuckled, his smile turning a little teasing. “But... it’s late, and you really should be sleeping. And I’m betting that Remy should be, too.”
Patton pouted a little. “But it’s a Friday! I don’t have any school tomorrow.”
“But the family’s coming over tomorrow at 10 for your birthday, and I know you. You’re gonna be all grumbly in the morning, instead of our happy-pappy Patton, and that’ll be even worse the less sleep you get.”
Patton drooped, like a little wilting flower, but couldn’t deny that his father was right.
“Okay...” He frowned, picking up his phone, switching off the screen without looking at it, and holding it against his chest. “Can I at least say night to Remy, first?”
Roman smiled. “Sure.”
He leant forward, squeezing Patton’s arm supportively, before pressing a quick kiss to his son’s forehead. Roman gave him one last smile, affectionately ruffling his hair, before pulling back and standing up. He brushed the non-existent dirt from his pyjamas.
“Goodnight, Pat,” He said. “And happy birthday.”
In the excitement that was talking to Remy, Patton had almost forgotten that it was his birthday, and he blinked in surprise as Roman left the room, quietly shutting the door behind him.
Patton then took a deep breath, before switching his phone back on to see whatever messages he’d missed.
REMY:
u rlly r an angel huh
PATTON:
Awwwww!!
Your making me blush
REMY:
thats the goal babe
PATTON:
Such a flirt!!
REMY:
im gonna be ten times more flirty when i get to see ur pretty face in person
PATTON:
How do you know Im pretty?
You havent even seen me yet
REMY:
i can just tell
im awesome like that
i bet ur the cutest person in the whole damn world
the whole damn universe
but while were on the subject of seeing each other
were waiting to meet naturally right?
PATTON:
Yeah!
Its good luck  
REMY:
yea
PATTON:
Welp!!!
Dad says I gotta go to sleep now!!
Night <3<3<3
REMY:
night xoxox
Patton switched off his phone, placing it on his bedside table and getting off the bed. He wobbled slightly as he stood up, suddenly realising how tired he really was, and quickly walked up to his fairy lights, switching them on before switching off the main light. He then climbed back into bed, settling in the soft nest of pastel pillows and blankets, and his last thought before he fell asleep was of his soulmate.
He barely knew Remy, but he already couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life with him.
***
The sound of the alarm from Remy’s phone rang through the room, waking him up suddenly. His immediate reaction was to groan, shutting it off quickly and then returning to the warm comfort of his mattress and pillows and blanket. It was the weekend, he had no plans, so if his dads wanted him up, they could come in and get him up themselves. Remy wanted to sleep.
Then, the memories of the night before flooded back to him, and he shot up in bed, pulling out his arm and staring at it wide-eyed.
The words Patton had written last night had now been washed away – likely to leave room for new words and new conversations – whilst Remy’s words still remained, though now a little smudged and faded. The only sign that Patton’s words had ever been there in the first place was the new word on his wrist, just below his palm, in baby blue, like the ones before.
Morning <3
Remy grinned, jumping out of bed much more enthusiastically than he usually did, grabbing the black pen on his bedside table and rushing to the bathroom, thankfully not bumping into either of his dads on the way there.
He washed his arms as quickly as he could, leaving them a little sore and red, though he didn’t care, and uncapped his pen with his teeth, leaving the lid in his mouth.
mornin
!!!!!
Do you always get up this late?
Remy laughed. The handwriting was a little larger and a little neater than his, and each i was dotted with a heart, which made him even more convinced that his soulmate was probably the cutest person on earth.
what time is it
10:30
later usually
what time did u get up
8:30
oof
i could never
What do you do for school then?
suffer
Remy took the pen lid out of his mouth, pocketing it and twirling the uncapped pen between his fingers, watching as more light blue words appeared on his arm. The sensation was feather-light, barely there, but impossible to ignore.
Aww no!!
I don’t want you to suffer :(
dw babe ive got coffee
life saver
id die without it
100%
Well make sure you don’t drink too much!!!!
Its bad for you!!
dw my dad always tells me that
he keeps an eye on it
Which one?
logan
Okay
There was a brief pause, and Remy almost continued writing, but he got the feeling that Patton wasn’t done, so he just waited patiently, tapping his foot against the tiled bathroom floor.
Do you mind if I doodle on my arms?
I usually do when Im bored but I thought Id ask
I wont if you don’t want me to tho
go ahead
what do u doodle?
I usually just connect my freckles
Like little constellations!!!!
It was impossible to keep the grin on Remy’s face from widening – Patton's enthusiasm was adorable and infectious – and he sat down on the edge of the bathtub, crossing one leg over the other as he pressed his pen to his skin and continued writing.
u got a lot of freckles?
Yup!
Theyre everywhere
everywhere?
Yeah!
hm
one day  
im gonna kiss every single one of your freckles
(Perhaps that was a little bold for only their second conversation, but Remy was a natural flirt, and Patton was his soulmate, after all. He’d back down at any sign of discomfort, but so far Patton had seemed receptive.)
every single one
Thats a lot of kisses
not enough
but itll be a good start
A little, swirly scribble appeared just beside the words Remy had written – the universal key-smash equivalent for soulmates writing on their skin. Just the thought that he was already able to fluster Patton so easily made Remy very, very happy. He grinned.
Gtg! Presents time!
Ill talk to you later <3<3<3
later xoxo
Remy fished the pen lid back out of his pocket, capping the pen and pocketing it. He then strolled back out of the bathroom, down the stairs, and towards the kitchen.
His fathers were both sat at the kitchen table, eating breakfast and talking. Their legs were pressed together under the table, and it was clear they’d just been flirting. Both Logan and Thomas looked up when Remy entered the room, surprised.
“What kind of natural disaster got you up before midday?” Thomas joked.
Remy waved his arm, showing off the writing, and Logan choked on his coffee. Thomas patted his back a few times worriedly, and Remy waited impatiently for the conversation to resume, tapping his foot against the floor.
“Is that what I think it is?” Logan asked incredulously, once he was breathing again.
Remy nodded. “Yup. Can I make coffee?”
Thomas nodded slowly, but it was clear he was much more focused on the previous topic at hand.
“You have a soulmate?” He asked. “Oh my gosh! What’s their name? Aren’t you gonna tell us about them?”
“Well, his name’s Patton,” Remy began, heading towards the coffee machine and immediately getting to work to make himself a large mug. “It’s his birthday today – it was actually, like, 2am, or something – and he’s real cute. I think you’ll both like him.”
Thomas exchanged a look with his husband – the former much more openly thrilled, whilst the latter looked more confused, though undeniably pleased. He then stood up, opening his arms immediately.
“I think this calls for a family hug,” Thomas grinned.
Logan sighed, but put his own coffee mug back down, getting up obediently.
Remy groaned. “Really? Before my coffee? Do I have to?”
“Yup! Right now,” Thomas said, wrapping one arm around Logan’s waist and resting his chin on his head, keeping his other arm outstretched, awaiting their son. “This is a big moment! It calls for a family hug. C’mere.”
“There is no point refusing, Remy,” Logan said dryly. “I learnt that a long time ago.”
“Aww, you love me.”
“Of course. That is why we got married, after all.”
Remy groaned again. “Are you two really flirting, right now? Gross.”
“Well, if you want us to stop flirting, you’re gonna have to join the hug.”
Remy sighed exaggeratedly, dragging his feet as he walked up to his dads, reluctantly joining the family hug. Then, he pulled back as quickly as he could get away with, making a face and turning back to the coffee machine. He quickly made himself a large mug – with excessive amounts of milk and sugar, something his father would usually criticise, though he seemed to turn a blind eye for today.
Remy then sat down at the table, beside Thomas, sipping eagerly at his coffee and leaning back in his chair.
His fathers didn’t take their eyes off of his arm, clearly reading the words, and after about a minute, Remy rolled his eyes, placing the coffee on his table and crossing his arms.
“What are you looking at?”
“Attitude, Remy,” Thomas sighed. “Be nice. And we’re looking at your arm because we’re excited! You have a soulmate, that’s a really big deal! We should celebrate.”
Remy perked up. “Celebrate?”
Logan nodded in agreement. “Perhaps tonight we could have dinner at the Italian place that you like.”
“Ooh, the one with that fancy pasta?”
“Weren’t we planning on going there tomorrow?” Thomas asked his husband.
Remy blinked, surprised. “We were?”
Thomas blinked, and then gave his husband a slightly sheepish smile. “I don’t think I was supposed to tell you that.”
Logan sighed. “Well, I think we can put that off for tomorrow, then. Today... you may invite a few friends over.” Remy opened his mouth, but Logan quickly continued, interrupting him before he could speak. “Three friends, maximum. No parties.”
Remy pouted. “Only three? Lame.”
“If you complain, we’ll bring it down to two.”
“Three sounds great!”
***
Patton picked up his phone, holding it to his ear as he paced casually around his room.
“Emile!” He greeted. “How are you?”
“Happy birthday, Pat!” Emile greeted cheerfully, and Patton could practically hear the usual smile on his face. “And I’m doing great. Virgil invited his brother to dinner yesterday, so that was fun, and I had a real breakthrough with one of my clients, too. You?”
“I’m good! Hey, do you think this counts as Remy and my anniversary? I mean, I know we haven’t actually really met, yet, but it’s been a year since we first spoke, and we are soulmates. Does that count? Would it be weird to count it?”
Emile hummed. “I think that if you want it to count, it counts.”
“That’s a bit vague,” Patton sighed.
Emile laughed. “That’s just how it works, I’m afraid. How is Remy anyway? It’s his birthday tomorrow, right?”
Patton perked up at the opportunity to talk about his soulmate. “Remy’s great! He got a new job at the Starbucks near his house; he’s pretty excited about it. And yup, it’s his birthday tomorrow! He turns eighteen. It’s a funny coincidence, isn’t it? That our birthdays are so close?”
“It’s actually a lot more common for soulmates to have these similarities than you’d think,” Emile said. “Close birthdays, close locations, things like that. I mean, Virgil and I were both born in the same hospital.”
“Really? Oh, that’s cool!” Patton smiled.
He sat down on his bed, pulling his legs up to sit cross-legged, and moving so his back was against the wall, half-sitting on one of his pillows.
“Yup! I’ve researched a lot about these things,” Emile said. “And- oh, Virgil, there you are!”
Patton heard rustling on the other end of the line, like Emile was temporarily putting his phone down, probably to greet and kiss his husband. He waited patiently, humming a song from the Steven Universe movie and drumming his fingers against his leg. His eyes scanned the various words written across his arms. Shiny black and glittery light blue. There were doodles, too – lines connecting the dots of his freckles, done by himself, and little stars and moons and hearts by Remy.
Then the rustling resumed, more movement, and Patton stopped humming.
“Morning, Pat,” Virgil greeted.
Patton smiled. “Virgil! How’s work going?”
“Not bad. I helped a guy arrange a hate-bouquet for his ex-boyfriend yesterday, so that was fun.”
“Sounds interesting!”
Virgil hummed in agreement, and it sounded like he was nodding. “I’m gonna hand the phone back to Emile, now. Happy birthday, kid.”
“Thanks!”
There was another moment of rustling, and then Emile returned.
“Okay, Virgil and I have to get to work,” Emile said. “We’re stopping by later for dinner, dad already knows. And, before you ask, no I will not tell you what your gift is, you’re gonna have to wait and see.”
Patton pouted. “Aww, okay. Bye!”
“Bye!”
Patton hung up the phone, before switching over to the texting app, and opening up his conversation with Remy.
PATTON
Hey im running out of space
So im gonna clean my arm
Can you too?
Remy responded almost immediately, as he usually did.
REMY
sure
one sec
Patton smiled, getting up and pocketing his phone. He headed over to the bathroom, quickly scrubbing away the words on his arms (he could leave the ones still remaining on his legs and torso, for now), and watching as Remy’s words disappeared at about the same time.
He then returned to his bedroom, sitting back down on his bed and fetching and uncapping his favourite pen.
The moment the tip of his pen touched his skin, a small black dot appeared just below it, like Remy was doing the exact same on his side – unintentionally trying to write in unison. All of a sudden, a wave of peace and happiness washed over Patton, but the emotions didn’t come from within himself. No, they came from an outside source, from somewhere else. Not from him.
From Remy.
At first, Patton was confused, disoriented, and then his heart skipped a beat, and he lifted his pen from his wrist.
The feeling stopped.
He then returned the pen to his wrist, creating another dot of light blue ink. For a moment, nothing happened, the feeling didn’t return, but then a small black speck appeared just beside his.
This time, the happiness was joined by an almost cautious excitement, tinged with something else.
What was it?
Love?
Love.
It felt like Patton was loving himself, except the love came from elsewhere, it came from Remy. Like a warm, comfortable blanket of love, wrapping around him and keeping him safe.
Patton beamed, wide and toothy and delighted, leaning back against the pillows and practically wiggling with excitement, careful to keep his pen tip on his wrist. A similar, thrilled feeling came back at him, and Patton quickly realised that whatever feelings he was getting from Remy, Remy was probably getting some very similar feelings in return from him.
damn babe
either something v weird is happening to me or thats ur feelings im feeling
I can feel it too!!!
Oh my gosh!
good i was worried i might be drunk
Have you been drinking?
nah thats why i was worried lmao
would be v weird to be drunk with no booze
Well that sure would be unusual!
The feelings from Remy weren’t constant, they only surfaced when both Patton and Remy were writing at once – flashes of emotions that were practically addicting. He wanted to keep feeling those feelings forever.
this is v weird
on and off
think itll get more constant the more we talk?
like we wont need to be both writing at the same time to feel it or smth?
Yeah!
I think so
Thats what happened with Em and Virge at least
cool
cant wait
There was a brief pause, and then Remy’s writing resumed.
can we doodle?
might make the empathy connection thingy better
Sure!
Patton giggled, unable to help himself, before pressing the tip of his pen to one of his freckles and drawing a thin line from it to another. Then another and another and another. Over and around the written words. He wasn’t making any specific shape or pattern in particular, just connecting the numerous dots. As he did this, Patton felt new shapes and doodles appearing on his legs, though he couldn’t see them through his trousers. Hearts and stars and moons and pawprints, most likely. The last one was new – Patton’s favourite.
He could feel Remy’s peace and contentment and love (love, love), like it was flowing through the air and seeping through his skin, filling him with happiness. Sometimes, it even increased for a brief moment, usually just after Patton’s happiness bubbled over into delighted giggles. It was a cycle – happiness creating happiness creating happiness.
Patton loved Remy. Remy loved Patton.
Love. Love. Love.
***
“Hey, Remy!”
Remy glanced up from his phone, straightening up as noticed and watched his best friend, Toby, approaching him. His foot tapped impatiently against the pavement, and his sunglasses were on to shield his eyes from bright midday sun.
“Gurl, what was taking you so long?” Remy complained, stuffing his phone into his pocket and crossing his arms, practically pouting. “I’ve been waiting here for, like, hours.”
Toby gave him a dry look. “I’m ten minutes late.”
“And that’s, like, ten hours in gay-and-in-a-hurry time.”
“In a hurry? What the hell are we even doing? Your text was very vague.”
“Well, it’s my dad’s birthday in a-”
“Which one?”
“Thomas. Bitch, stop interrupting me.”
Toby laughed, and Remy glared at him. He held his hands up defensively in mock surrender, and then gestured for Remy to continue.
“Anyway, it’s my dad’s birthday on Sunday and I’m supposed to get him a gift. I dunno what, though, so you’re gonna help me.”
“I’m pretty sure you know him better than I do.”
Remy shushed him. “Gurl, I am not letting you get out of helping me. So, we’re going to-”
He suddenly froze, going silent. Remy’s brow then creased, too, and after a moment of stillness he began to rapidly pat his arms and legs, like he was looking for something, though he didn’t seem to find it. Toby gave him a bewildered look.
“Dude, what are you doing?”
“I can feel Patton’s emotions,” Remy said.
He could, but only barely – just little hints of Patton, pricking the edges of his soul – much less than he was used to, but still impossible to ignore. He was used to these feelings by now, always recognising them immediately, though this time it was... different.
“Okay... so, he’s writing to you? Isn’t that normal?”
Remy looked back at him, looking just as confused as Toby. “No, he isn’t. He isn’t writing to me. No ink.”
“He... isn’t?”
“I can always feel it,” Remy explained. “Always. But not right now. Why... why-” He froze, his eyes widening behind his dark sunglasses.  
“What?”
“He must be close. He must- oh my god, he must be close!” Remy looked around quickly, at all of the surrounding pedestrians. None of them looked right – none of them were Patton – but he could practically sense him. He was so close.
Toby blinked. “Really?” He asked incredulously.
“Yes. Yes, really. I know what I’m talking about!” Remy exclaimed, perhaps a little harsher than intended. “The empath shit only happens when you write or when you’re close. Gurl, that’s, like, common knowledge.”
Toby held his hands up. “Right, uh... sorry.” He cleared his throat. “So, how are we gonna find him?”
Remy’s brow scrunched up in thought. “I don’t know.”
His best friend shrugged, even more lost than he was.
“Maybe... maybe...” Remy continued, trailing off, before he suddenly straightened up. “It’ll get stronger the closer I get to him, so I just have to follow where it’s stronger, right? Like... like getting warmer and colder.”
Toby nodded slowly. “That makes sense. So, uh, walk around, and we’ll go in the direction that makes it stronger.”
Remy immediately began to pace in circles around Toby, pulling a slightly panicked face when at one point the feeling completely disappeared. Then, it got stronger, a wave of anticipation and curiosity, nervousness and excitement.
It suddenly hit Remy that if he could feel Patton, then Patton could feel him, too.
Patton was probably looking for him.
The corners of Remy’s lips twitched up into a smile. He was practically oozing excitement, and it was contagious, as Patton’s also seemed to increase – even Toby began smiling, too.
Toby patted him on the shoulder.
“Go on, follow your gut. I’ll be right behind you.”
Remy immediately turned on his heel, sprinting in the direction the emotions seemed to be coming from, and Toby almost tripped over his own feet following him. The empathy got stronger and stronger and stronger with every step, until it was even stronger than it usually was, and as his excitement further increased, so did Patton’s.
He rounded a corner, and immediately ran right into someone running at a similar speed, and they both tumbled to the ground with two loud thumps.
“Ah, fuck,” Remy groaned, closing his eyes and massaging the bridge of his nose as a jolt of pain shot down his leg.
“Oof,” The other boy winced.
His voice was like a bell, ringing through the air: suddenly the only sound that Remy could hear.
That was when Remy realised that Patton’s emotions were now equal to his own – mixing together in Remy’s soul until they were one and the same. It was almost like they were thinking and feeling as one, which was rather disorienting, to say the least.  
Patton... Patton was right in front of him.
Remy opened his eyes, immediately coming face-to-face with the most gorgeous person he had even seen – a wide-eyed and freckled boy, about a year younger than Remy, staring back at him with parted lips and an equally startled expression. He was wearing a blue and grey t-shirt, showing off his arms and the words Remy had written to him today, and all the constellations he’d doodled on his own skin. Now, Remy could see the stars that he’d been missing, and, in his opinion, they were even better than the ones in the night sky.
Patton.
Patton, Patton, Patton.
“Patton,” Remy breathed.
“Remy.”
Remy laughed, uncontrolled and loud and delighted, sitting up straight and taking Patton’s hand in his own, squeezing it. It was warm and soft, Remy never wanted to let go, and when Patton squeezed back, he felt... complete. Perfect. Heaven.
Patton smiled – like a shining sun, one that thankfully didn’t hurt to look at, as Remy couldn’t take his eyes off of it.
“Wow,” Remy laughed. “You’re... wow.”
“Wow,” Patton echoed.
People were probably staring at them – Toby included – but Remy couldn’t take his eyes off of Patton to check. Patton seemed to be doing similarly, his eyes slowly taking in every part of Remy’s body, before returning to his face, staring into his eyes.
Patton’s eyes were brown, like honey in the sunlight. Beautiful.
“It’s... it’s nice to finally meet you,” Patton said softly.
“Likewise.”
There was a beat.
“You are gorgeous,” Remy continued, the words coming out before he could stop himself. He almost regretted blurting it out, but then Patton’s face turned a particularly pretty shade of pink, and Remy immediately grinned.
Patton squeezed his hand. “You, too.”
“Oh, I know I’m hot, babe,” Remy said, making Patton giggle. “But you, you’re... you’re an angel. Like, damn, how the hell did I get so lucky? I must’ve done something really freaking amazing in a past life to have deserved you.”
“You’re even more of a flirt in person,” Patton smiled, a little teasingly.
Remy laughed. “I mean, I’m pretty sure I warned you.”
“You did,” Patton said, smiling fondly.
“Is it too soon to ask if I can kiss you?” Remy asked suddenly. His tone of voice was casual, like he was joking, but they both knew – Patton could probably sense – that he was serious.
Patton didn’t hesitate, answering quickly. “No. I mean, yes. I mean... no, it’s not too soon. Please?”
Remy didn’t waste any time, reaching forward, carefully cradling Patton’s face in his hand and kissing him gently. His lips were soft and warm and Remy never wanted to stop kissing him. Patton covered Remy’s hand with his own free one, kissing back a little clumsily, though it was without a doubt enthusiastic.
Then, he got a little too enthusiastic, and Remy tumbled backwards, pulling Patton along with him.
They broke apart, and after a moment of startled – slightly awkward – silence, they both started laughing loudly, and Patton climbed off of him. He finally stood up, holding out his hand and helping Remy up, too.
The pedestrians that had been watching them had mostly all moved on by now, leaving only Toby hovering awkwardly nearby. He had his phone out, trying to distract himself, give them some privacy, though he was undeniably still keeping an eye out. It wasn’t every day you saw a soulmate pair’s first meeting.  
Remy took Patton’s hands in his own, looking him over again and again and again.
An idea came to him – not a new one, one he’d thought about and talked about and dreamed and daydreamed about a million times – and he grinned in a way that he could feel made Patton’s heart skip a beat.
“Remember how I said I wanted to kiss every freckle?"
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anakinthetrashking · 4 years
Text
BnHA One-Shot Fic Recs (pt1)
Making some fic-rec posts has been on my to-do list for a while and I’m finally doing it, yay! Currently I have 6 word doc pages full of just BnHA recs. So I’m splitting them up by length and completion, so first up is (part one of) one-shots! Let’s go!!!
Lets start with some classic Izuku and DadMight!
Pictures, Posters and Tender Beauty by ProPinkist (tumblr: @dazais-guardian-angel ) Rating: G    Category: Gen   ~4,400 words Summary: Izuku has virtually every All Might-themed item out there, and prides himself on all of it, as Toshinori is well aware. However, somehow, the boy still decided that there was something vital missing. This is fluffy and very cute. No one truly appreciates All Might as much as Izuku does, but 1A comes close. All Might deserves all the love, and this fic truly provides!!!
Dear Mr. All Might by QuizzicalCrow (tumblr: @quizzicalcrow​ ) Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~5,000 words Summary: As the #1 hero for decades, All Might has collected a lot of fan mail over the years. Toshinori tracks down a series of letters that only now, years later, does he appreciate for their significance.  I always love the thought of All Might looking through his fan mail, even if he can’t get to all of it. This was a wonderful glimpse into that AND it was made to be so, so personal and sweet. Go have some heart-healing fluff.
Growing Pains by LordofLies (tumblr: @theangelofchildren ) Rating: G   Category: Gen    ~5,900 words Summary: Izuku finds himself changed by his encounter with the Hero Killer, but changes of a more physical kind are in store for him as he begins to truly accept One for All as his own. Once, he would have been thrilled to look more like All Might, but now those connections are as much a source of anxiety as they are of pride.Or, Izuku wakes up one morning and sees the world through different eyes. Izuku having anxiety and Toshi being there to help him through it and calm him down? Sign me UP. Its also a pretty cool take on how One for All is able to change things about it’s holder. Could this happen in cannon? Who knows.... Regardless, it was a great read!
I’ll Carry You Home by Renesvetta Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~2,700 words Summary: While training with All Might, it wasn’t uncommon for Izuku to be so exhausted at the end of the day that he unwittingly fell asleep without regard for where he was. It consequently became part of All Might’s routine to help his young protégé home. During that time, Izuku may have let loose more than one sleepy confession towards his mentor.  Yes, it is as adorable as it sounds. Its tagged with “self indulgent Dad Might fluff” which is both accurate and appreciated. In other words: Superb you funky little writer!
Simple Gifts by QuizzicalCrow Rating: G    Category: Gen   ~6,700 words Summary: One year ago, Izuku received the greatest gift he could ever imagine. Now he’s determined to return the favor for the one responsible for it all with a gift of his own.  First off, I love the idea of Izuku and Toshi quietly celebrating the anniversary of passing on OfA from All Might to Izuku. Even just taking the day to hang out with each other. It’s a really precious idea. But there’s not just fluff! Izuku finds himself in a fight, again. (cool villain quirk, too!) I love all of the small details that are in this fic (and in Crow’s other works, too!) anyway its exciting AND very heartwarming, so go read it!!!
Affectionate by Sevi007 (tumblr: @sevi007 ) Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~2,600 words Summary: Toshinori starts to show affection very easily around his students. The  reactions he gets for that are not quite the ones he had anticipated - well, not all of them, at least.  Toshi is LOVED, APPRECIATED, and 1A feels like HOME. how many times can i say “cute” and “heartwarming” on this post?? bc these are some amazing writers, whom I adore, and their writing makes my heart WARM. AND. FUZZY. i mean, even just the first few paragraphs of this one just, really sets the scene of what i like to believe the 1A dorm is (on a good day, lol). its a really nice read, so go treat yo’ self by reading it.
paint me in trust by dinomight Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~6,400 words Summary: The first mark Izuku gets is a slight brush of green across his temple. It’s the soft touch of a mother holding her son for the first time. Inko has one to match, the same shade of green staining the tips of her fingers. Hers is more noticeable; Izuku’s tends to blend into his hairline. He loves it anyways. He has to. It’s the only soulmate mark he has. (Or: how Izuku goes from just green to a rainbow, UA-style.)  Ok, so this fic sort of plays off the idea of soulmates, and does not fit in with soulmates in the usual form of the trope. First off its completely platonic. Its categorized as Gen and sticks to that. Also it doesn’t seem to be as obligatory and permanent as you would think it would be. It seems to be more of the universe telling you who has the possibility of being important in your life. I really really loved this, it was so adorable and gives you that sweet, sweet Izuku angst, before healing your heart with the power of friendship and found family!!!
The Die Has Been Cast by ChiwiTheKiwi (tumblr: @chiwithekiwi​ ) Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~5,400 words Summary: “There’s something about that kid you aren’t telling me, isn’t there?”When no answer meets him, Shouta tries again.“You know something about Midoriya’s quirk that you haven’t shared with me. Is that right?”(Or: A canon "What If" surrounding the latest manga events and focusing on Aizawa finally making a connection.) First off, this fic has spoilers for the manga, so dont read unless you’re past chp212! I loooooooove OfA reveal fics, especially when it’s Aizawa that finds out. He deserves to know!!! its kind of important!!!! This fic chooses a great moment to work off of, and does a great job with Aizawa’s character. I really enjoyed it and couldn’t keep myself from going back and reading it just now LOL
These last two are actually two-shots, but it makes it an even 10! also Izuku and dadmight, so we can continue the theme here...
Some Unspoken Thing by LittleKy Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~7,900 words (2chps) Green, Toshinori has always thought, is the color of life anew.(Or: It's time for Yagi Toshinori to finally accept that he has a son, now, in all but blood. It's time for Midoriya Hisashi to accept that as well.) YES ALL MIGHT! ADMIT THAT IZUKU IS YOUR SON! great portrayal of the characters and really hits the nail on the head for DadMight. and Izuku in this story is just the smallest green floof that you wish to give a hug. NEVER MIND ALL MIGHT, YOU TOOK TOO LONG SO IZUKU IS MY SON NOW AND IM NOT GIVING HIM BACK ( no but seriously i want to hug this fic its so cute TTuTT )
LAST BUT NOT LEAST! I See You by BirdAntlers (tumblr: @aarymk )
Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~15,400 words (2chps) Midoriya Izuku is a quirkless child, blind from birth. Yagi Toshinori is the most powerful man in the world, loved by millions. They could not be more different, and yet their loneliness is the same.   (From a pair of AU posts on Tumblr that got way out of hand; I wanted to put it here because it turned into more of a fic than a "what-if." Basically a vessel for me to vomit as much Dadmight as I can.) Hey, you! Yeah! You! Do you want to cry? Do you want to start sobbing in a public space?? Do you just want to be destroyed with words and be left there kneeling at the feet of a writer who has torn out your heart and stomped on it before they gently wipe the tears from your face? Yeah?? y oU Wan NA D IE??? READ THIS AND GET REKT.  you’ll thank me later
(under the cut is just me rambling, i kept all the important stuff up here, ur welcome)
Now that the actual recs are over I can rant here- look i really tried to slim my recs down, but i have almost 300 bnha fics bookmarked,some of them are “to read” or theyre in progress, etc but i managed to get this list sorta slimmed down? a little?(to only 58!!!) but as i was gathering this post together it felt like i dont have very many Dadmight recs on that list??? but i havent rechecked all the other fics i was just going through the oneshots. i... kinda read a lot more fics with AIzawa in it instead. it be that way. DadMight content is SO GOOD. but my fav is aizawa im sorryyyyy anyway i have another SEVENteeN oneshots to put in rec posts and that does NOT include the mulitchapter and friikin series and stuff... and like i said this is aaaaaaallllllllllllllll BnHA. batfam fic posts will come after, and then star wars, and then maybe star trek? we’ll see. i have a very specific taste in ST fics and that is Tarsus IV whump. which. i have not read in a while. when they say “that trope came from ST” for sooooooo many tropes, you WISH other fandoms had tarsus as a trope, holy crap it is TOP TIER angst fodder. if you love to write/read whump, angst, and h/c i would HIGHLY recommend that you take a bit of time and explore the content and stories there. heck maybe i will make a ficrec post for just tarsus angst. ok.
my INTENTION is to edit these posts later with little links to the other fic rec lists so that itll be easier to find. but., its me, so itll either happen in painful detail or not at all
asdjkdgh its 2:30am and i need to sleep and not be rambling incoherently again I WILL SAVE THIS AS A DRAFT. 
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coco96 · 4 years
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LDAF - PP Romantic
Dangers Of The Job (Peter Parker X Male!Reader) Warnings: Arguing Fighting, mugging, injury, swearing Request: Could you do a male reader x peter Parker where they get into a heated argument about peter’s hero activities? They don’t talk for days until mreader gets mugged/hurt and peter saves the day and they fluff it out?
Break In (Peter Parker X Stark!Daughter!Reader) Warnings: Gun, shooting, severe injury Request: ... she has her own iron man suit and gets severely injured while she and peter are on a mission and peter blames himself for not being able to stop it. Lots of angst
New Braces (Peter Parker X Reader) Warnings: Self-conscious reader Requests: ... reader and peter are dating and reader just got braces but is insecure and Peter just thinks they look cute
Arranged Plans Cancelled (Peter Parker X Fem!Stark!Reader) Warnings: Bad friends Request: Stark!Reader is often hurt by others, like people will arrange plans + blow her off/friends will make plans in front of her + not invite her. people will get her to do their homework for them bc they know she can’t say no. Peter Parker thinks its really unfair but she handles it really well + doesn’t make a fuss. one day Steve/Tony/someone accidentally upsets her (maybe they cancel plans she’s been really looking forward to or something) and Peter just loses it. she’s really shocked that he noticed and he’s standing up for her. She goes to Midtown too …
Pick Locking (Peter Parker X Reader) Warnings: Minor injuries Request: … “ I teached you how to pick a lock and this is how you’re using that skill” For peter parker?
Meet My Girlfriend! (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader) Request: ... reader where they’re really close friends and do things that every one else assumes they’re a couple ... she goes w/ him to one of tonys parties ... + he introduces her as his gf without thinking + she’s really confused + he remembers he never actually asked her out?
Unwanted Messages (Peter Parker X Male!Reader) Warnings: Unwanted flirty messages, mention of homophobia Request: … Where the reader always leaves his things around and one day peter sees his phone and sees that she’s been getting messages from females saying flirtatious things and assumes that the reader is cheating on him. But there’s a happy ending
Feeling Insecure (Peter Parker X Male!Reader) Warnings: Swearing, self consciousness Request: … peter parker x bi!male reader that M!R is popular in school and has girls/boys throwing themselves at him and peter feels insecure that M!R will leave him for someone else but with a fluffy(happy) ending
Stolen Sweaters (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader) Request: ... Just he knows her from school. And something with her just walking around wearing his jumpers and they’re really big on her and he just thinks she’s really cute and just some wholesome love fluff? ...
Bringing the Boyfriend Home (Peter Parker X Male!Reader) Warnings: Mention of tattoos, piercing and mild violence/threat Request: … peter wants to introduce male reader to the avengers but the male reader has like tattoos, piercings etc. And the avengers are skeptical of him but he ends up being/acting like a gentleman that he even makes an impression on the black window
New Kind of Helicopter Parenting (Peter Parker X Stark!Reader) Warnings: Being Spied on Request: Peter Parker × Stark! Reader FLOOFY??💜💜💜They’re in the tower and like watching movies and cuddling and the Avengers are spying at them (and Tony is like so excited cause his ship has sailed!!)
Overwhelmed (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader) Warnings: mention of neglect, divorce, dysfunctional family Request: … she’s in the year below him and is under a lot of stress because she has to help look after siblings and her siblings’ pets and keep up with school interventions and end of topic tests and big exams coming up. And Peter starts to notice that she’s not acting like herself and then she starts to cancel dates cos she doesn’t have time and he understands but wants to make sure she’s okay and she just breaks down so they cuddle and he says he’ll help
Only You (Peter Parker X Male!Reader) Warnings: Insecurity/ mild jealousy Request: ... reader and his best friend are like super friendly twords each other that other people think they are girlfriend/boyfriend and peter feels as if the male reader will leave him for her(best friend) but male reader reassures peter he’s the only one for him
Movie Scenes (Peter Parker X Male!Reader) Warnings: Mention of explicit scene and sexual mention. Request: ... reader has to do an explicit erotic ... scene for a film and peter get jealous that he doesn’t speak to the MR. Then MR tries to figure out why peter is mad and then they just talk it out with peter in MRs arms. …
Dresses (Peter Parker X Male!Reader) Warnings: Mentions of Homophobia, arguing and yelling Request: … male reader and Peter are watching a show that includes drag queens and reader is like “is that ok? Can you dress like that and not get beat up?” And  peters response is “ you can, you might still get beat up but I’ll protect you!” … Bucky and Steve walk in on them … and one of them gets mad at reader for dressing like a girl and reader runs off crying … And eventually even though still uneasy whoever said it was wrong accepts it. …
Metallic Limbs (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Mention of injury and loss of limbs, mention of surgery Request: … Reader is a quadruple amputee after the Chitauri attack in Manhattan. Tony, As the one who found her in the rubble, feels inclined to watch over her and help her in any way he can. So he has her fitted with state of the art cybernetic limbs. Years later, reader is coming to the avengers HQ to get a tune up and she meets the friendly neighbourhood sideman without the mask. Tony is unsure if he’s okay with them being so chummy together.
Hacker (Peter X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Mention of cheating. Request: Can you do one where the reader is dating Peter and she’s a hacker who sells information to support herself (her parents are gone) and she knows Peter is Spider-Man and he somehow finds out who she is?
Tickle Fight! (Peter X Fem!Reader) Request: … she’s a hacker and they’re at Stark towers working together(maybe she’s tony’s daughter?) He’s working on his web shooters and y/n is bored so she keeps giving him sneaky little tickles to distract him then pretends she’s innocent and after a while he starts a tickle fight being 100% done with her shit? Bonus if the avengers walk in and ship it? Thx luvly sorry it’s so long😚
Gliding (Peter X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Heights Request: ... she brings Peter to the Avengers tower balcony on a beautiful night to show her wings manifesting ... and then they she soon strongly carries him in his arms for a ride and when they get back to the balcony they have their first kiss?
Prom Night (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader) Request: The reader can control things like gravity, stars, cosmic energies( energies found in space) and other spacey things and can create blackholes and stars and things like that, and she asks peter out to prom by making him a constellation with her powers. She can manipulate bodies in space but also has powers on earth that she uses for crime fighting super sonic flight, super strength photokinesis astrokinesis.
Dad Duties (Clint Barton X Daughter!Reader, Peter Parker X Fem!Reader) Request: Reader is Clint’s daughter who is a mutant and is dating Peter Parker?
Visiting (Peter X Fem!Reader) Request: … it’s peterparker x fem!reader but she’s an australian hero only working with the avengers part time or something. Thanks
Gymnastic Lessons (Peter Parker X Reader) Warnings: Mention of heights Request: Could you do one where Peter is dating the reader and he thinks the fact he can swing around on his webs is pretty cool and then he finds out they’re an aerialist who’s like, really good? Sorry if that’s a little weird
Spider’s Boyfriend (Peter Parker X Male!Reader) Request: Maybe you could make a peter parker x jock male reader where peter introduces reader to the avengers and the avengers like really like him that there like complaining that he has to leave and go home at the end
A Little Help (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader) WARNINGS: PANIC ATTACKS AND ANXIETY Request: … Reader is a clasdmate of Oeter but they never really talked because shes hella introverted? And hes outside as Spiderman when he sees her having a panic attack and comes to her and comforts her. And she recognizes his voice and thats the start of their friendship.
Really? (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Neglect of family Request: ... reader where her parents are always busy + away from home + she’s sorta starved for affection so to speak. theyre at peters house doing some science project for school. She figures something out. And then peter just casually praises her. he sees how surprised she is + is sad when he realises whats happening with hee parents + starts to go out of his way to find reasons to give her just little bits of affection and praise so she knows she is appreciated?
Darkness (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Fear of the dark Request: … peter parker x stark!reader where she watches horror films in the dark alone a lot. peter stays overnight + realises she sleeps w/ the lights on. When he (persistently) asks why she admits that shes afraid of the dark but everyone expects her to be brave just like her father is so she pretends but really shes just a scared little girl. W/ fluff and cuddles with peter parker
Mirror Image (MJ X Twin!Reader) Request: … Peter sees MJ’s twin (Y/N) and mistakes her identify and leaves embrasssed after declaring she looks prettier today…After feeling embrasssed he walks into the real MJ and MJ bring the snarky person we love, explains why Peter was distracted and later on Peter realizes she has a twin …
Bloody Bed (Peter Parker X Reader) Warnings: Bullying, Injury, blood, wounds, stitches Request: ... reader gets bully at school, so one day reader is crying on the roof. Spiderman sees it and talks to reader who is crying. Then after that the spiderman visis reader almost every day but one day while visiting spiderman is badly injued and the reader takes care of spidey and by accident the reader name is called by peter while thanking him.
Support (Peter Parker X Male!Reader) Warnings: Extremely religious family Request: ... Peter is in love with a boy who is religious and very correct, does not say bad words, does not commit bad deeds, does not drink alcohol or anything of those things and is also in love with Peter but has trouble accepting it because he has always been told he has that is with women the boy is also a super hero and works with the avengers ...
Karen (Peter Parker X Stark!Reader) Request: … Peter is in love with the daughter of Iron Man and the daughter of Iron Man of Peter but she is super shy and antisocial so she does not know how to get close to Peter, she knows that he is spiderman and without his father knowing she hacks the suit Peter and pretends to be Karen :)
Awkward Peter (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader) Request: ... she is Tony’s daughter and Peter is really awkward around her because obviously, you know, Tony Stark is her dad and he wants to impress him? And just a bunch of awkward Peter and sassy reader?
Signs (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Insensitive comment Request: ... mute!reader where he learned to sign to her; they’re really close& stuff & he helps her w/ work, translating her questions to teachers, etc. A few days after she & Peter start dating, she meets Tony who makes a joke about being used to fans being stunned into silence. Peter just gets really angry & defensive & starts ranting, stepping in front of the reader protectively; she just reaches out & signs that it’s okay. When tony realises he obviously apologises.
Parker! (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Bit of bullying, angry over protective dad. Request: Tony Stark’s daughter is popular and in a band and at a concert, Peter is getting picked on for being alone so Reader goes and kisses him and hugs him, surprising everyone with their secret relationship, much to Tony’s disapproval.
Shared Pain (Peter Parker x Reader) Warnings: Pain, mild violence, swearing, mild spoilers Request: Peter Parker x reader soulmate au reader doesn’t want a soulmate and has kind of hated peter but then it ends up all good
Blind Meeting (Avengers X Blind!Reader) Request: What about a platonic peter parker x reader where the reader is really nervous to meet the avengers because shes blind but peter assures her that itll be fine and the avengers end up loving her
Things We Used To Share (Peter Parker X Reader) Warnings: Sad boi Request: Petet parker x reader based on the song “things we used to share” by thomas sanders??
Kiss Of Life (Peter X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Mention of death, drowning, blood, injury, plane crash Request: … reader is recruited to be an Avenger and she has oceanic powers and when they were all on a tense dangerous mission, Peter was hurt badly and fell over deep into the ocean so the reader jumps in and grabs him, pulls him onto the shore, kissing him (which is a power she has that heals people) to take his pain away?
New Life (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Teasing Request: ... reader is Clints teenage daughter from a previous relationship before Laura. She’s kind of loner and a punk chick but keeps to herself. Laura sends her with her father to try to open her up and make some friends in the city. She ends up falling for peter cause she loves geeky guys.
Not My Best Friend (Peter X Overweight!Fem!Reader) Warnings: Bullying, teasing, body issues, mild swearing Request: … They go together to highschool, have some classes together, and reader takes ballett lessons after school, with some of the girls from her grade - and she’s getting bullied by them (=issues), even by Peter’s new, popular ass girlfriend (not Gwen, bless her). And Peter finds out. And saves the day. …
Missing My Voice (Tony X Fem!Reader, Peter x Fem!Reader)     |    Part 2 Warnings: Blood, surgery, needles, injury Request: … reader loves to sing and play the guitar and a ton of other instruments but goes mute during a mission (due to an injury), and how it impacts Peter and Tony? And can Tony like, go to a ton of doctors and stuff to try and find a solution? Whether he does or doesn’t is up to you. Thanks in advance!
Copy Cat (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader) Request: … reader shapeshifts into different people/ animals an  uses it to survive, so one day peter parker sees himself stealing something and it ends up in a fight until he realizes she’s a girl? you can pick the ending
Fight Me (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader, Tony Stark X Daughter!Reader) Warnings: Threatening (not serious) Request: Hey can I get a Tony x daughter reader where she’s always says fight me like someone says “I Was sitting there” and she says fight me ect. Anyway lots of fluff a little Peter x reader too- Og I forgot Tony x daughter reader fight me she like pure™ thanks😘
Name Of Love Pt 1 (Peter Parker X Reader) *Collab*
Here every step of the way (Peter Parker X Reader) SERIOUS WARNING: EATING DISORDER Request: Would you, by any chance, be able to do an imagine based off of the Peter Parker x bulimic reader that I requested a while ago? If not that’s fine. X
Hacking Fun (Peter X Fem!Reader) Request: ... peter Parker is dating a girl who’s extremely shy and she knows he’s Spider-Man? He brings her to the tower to do homework and tony teases them through the intercom system. But the reader is super smart and hacks his system and shuts him off and tony is impressed so he invites her over more often. He gets her to hack everyone for laughs and pranks.
Real Life Avatar (Peter Parker X Reader) Request: ... reader can control the elements and peter is like “wow you are the freaking Avatar” or something like that? ...
Be Careful (Tony X Daughter!Reader, Peter X Fem!Reader)     |     Part 2 Warnings: Blood, getting shot Request: … reader is Tony’s teenage daughter who’s dating Peter and she’s just the type of person everyone loves but she’s also a really good hacker and fighter so she does missions sometimes and she ends up getting shot? …
Better Choice (Tony Stark X Cousin!Reader, Peter Parker X Reader) Warnings: One swears and mentions of bed relationships and breakups Request: The reader is Tonys younger cousin (teenager) and she starts falling for Peter and tony just pets it happen because he’s better than any boyfriend the reader has had before
Retainers (Peter Parker X Teen!Reader) Request: ... there are both Avengers in training living in the Avengers tower, and they are both in braces stage where they wear their retainers at night. Then they get called out for a mission in the middle of the night, and forget to take them off, and the rest of the team sort of jokes around with them? Thank you!!
Prankster (Peter Parker X Reader) Warnings: Pushing someone off a roof? Request: Helloooo! Could i request a peter parker x reader where the reader is the son/daughter of wade wilson and can turn invisible. So they like peter and love playing pranks on him and one time they go invisible and kiss him!
“Mr Rogers?”(Steve X Son!Reader, Peter X Male!Reader) Warnings: Over protective father? Request: … reader is Steve Rogers’ son (14-15) and he’s a really protective dad, but the reader is dating Peter Parker and Steve goes dad-mode on them? …
One Drink (Adult!Peter Parker X Male!Reader) Warnings: Jealousy, swearing Request: ... they go to a bar and the reader runs into there old friend and from toms point of view it look like the old friend is really touchy and the reader is okay with it so Tom drags the reader him without saying a word they have a little argument in the house and then the reader clears it up ...
Telling Him (Peter Parker X Male!Reader) Warnings: Mentions of coming out and past murder Request: … reader is Tony’s son (probably an adoption situation?) and is closeted gay… maybe after Peter is already a part of the avengers, and not during Civil War? …
You’ve What!? (Peter X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Sexual themes, drinking, threatening Request: ... reader is the babygirl of the avengers, and has been datind Peter Parker for a long time, but they dont bother them ... but one day they a little drunk and playing “ Never have I ever” and someone ask: “had sex” and Peter and reader drink, and everybody freaks out ...
Who Is It? (Tony X Daughter!Reader)     |     Part 2 Request: … Tonys daughter is sitting in the living room being like ‘hey I hacked into your system ‘cause I’m your super smart daughter and have no where else to go’ and Tony starts to get really protectiv over her. And then finds out that she is falling in love with Peter, but Tony is basically the last one to find out? …
Peter Parker dating reader with bulimia would include . . .
Dating Peter Parker and having powers would include…
Dating Peter Parker and being on Team Cap would include …
Noticing (Peter X Fem!Reader) Request: ... reader is the youngest avenger and a witch and always helps T'Challa, Peter and Scott become closer to the team? Idk maybe she gossips with them or requests to go on a mission to make them feel included ...
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