#it's been sooo long since i had a birthday party like my last one was in 7th? grade? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

timidpumpkin · 11 months

Note

Can I get a reaction when reader want to go to carnival or other fun places and then they got lost and ended up at their own home

Is the reader going to escape or go back to their daddies TYSM🤗

Hiiii🥰🥰🥰💜💜💜. I loved this idea sooo much and it really helped get me out of the writer's block funk I was in! It’s a litttle bit different from what you asked so I hope that’s okay and you still like it!! Thank you so so much, I loved writing this!!~~~~~💖💖💖💖💖

(pictures are not my own)

Helpless (Stucky x reader)

Pairing: Dark!Stucky x f!reader

Warnings/tags: Dark!Stucky, Daddy!Stucky, Female reader, stockholm syndrome, forced age regression, mention of previous kidnapping, reader gets lost, mild injury to reader, Implied reader has small hands in comparison because Stucky is gigantic (fact), Angst, Fluff, Comfort. Reader baby-talks as well, Lots o' cute nicknames (as usual).

Word count: 4.1k

Tagging a few of the absolutely lovely people who have supported me this whole time. I love you and appreciate you all more than i can express. @haleyhunwritess @ppatricia34me @hoplessfussybambi @canyonmooncreations @sapphyslittlenook

P.S. i'm gonna start a tag list so lemme know if you wanna be added <3

It was getting a bit cooler now.

The previously bright day had been overtaken by navy shadows that bring nippy wisps of air that catch on your exposed arms, sending chills throughout you.

“I told you we should have used the long-sleeved one,” Steve remarks to Bucky as he watches you make a tiny shiver.

Bucky rolls his eyes at him, knowing you were the one who insisted on this specific onesie when he dressed you this afternoon. With an eager look on your face, you held it up to him, proudly showing him how it would match perfectly with some leg warmers you found in your drawer. He couldn��t argue with that, not when your giddy smile and sweet eyes looked at him while holding it up as high as you could for him.

“Come here babydoll,” Bucky says, squatting down a bit to get closer to your level.

You don't hear him for a second. Not even your numbed fingertips could distract you from the bright lights that reflect off your eyes. You’ve been watching the multicolored Ferris wheel since you got here. You wanted to go on it so bad.

Thus far, you’ve only been allowed to play the ground games. Though, you can’t complain too much now that you’ve collected quite a load of new stuffies to bring home. You’d like to think yourself pretty talented at these games–maybe too talented.

You’ve all but completely missed the harsh glares Bucky gives the poor workers when they tell you “awh too bad” when you miss the target, but then proceed to hand you whichever stuffed animal or toy you’d been wanting anyway. You’d turn around to your daddies, excitingly showing them your prize and proudly exclaiming “I won! I won!” and Bucky would always tell you how good of a job you did every time.

“Babydoll?” Bucky calls again, bringing you back to reality, his voice sweet, as if he’s teasing you a bit, knowing how much you've enjoyed this outing.

It was a tough call. Bringing you here. They knew how much you wanted to go. Ever since Peter babbled on and on about his trip to the carnival at his birthday party a few months ago, you’ve been begging them ever since. It’s not that they didn't want to take you. It could never be that. They just weren’t sure if it would be safe…

“There’s all kinds of creeps at those things!” Steve argues to Bucky, turning around as if that’s the last word and final say about it.

“I know. I know. But…she really wants to go. Plus…it’s not like we’ll ever let her out of our sight.” Bucky tries to reason, knowing it was something they would enjoy too. He has several fond memories of dragging Steve along with him through the bustling crowds of people just so he could play–and win–all the games he could, always asking Steve which prize he wanted before promising him he’d win it on the first try. Long before he knew of what true cruelties lived beyond their hometown, Bucky had already mastered the art of staring down unfair showmen who would poke fun at Steve’s then narrower figure.

Bucky just couldn’t help the almost giddy feeling he got just at the idea of holding you up high while you throw one of those balls with all your might to win some oversized stuffed animal that you’d undoubtedly insist on carrying on your own despite it being twice your height.

“We could even get one of those leash things,” he suggests, the idea popping into his mind like it’s the most brilliant thing, remembering how he showed the leashed froggy backpack he saw a while ago to Steve.

“It’s not just that,” Steve admits, brows furrowed as he sits on the edge of the bed, a sad and worried look overtaking his features that makes Bucky want to cave to anything he’d ask. “what if…” he trails off, not meeting Bucky’s gaze, “what if…she tries to run off?” he says quietly as if the fear itself would be brought to life if he spoke it too loudly.

It had been a long while since you tried to run away. All things considered, you seemed to be fully adjusted now. Every so often you would act up, but only in the way that all little girls would every now and then. They would always punish you appropriately, the way all good daddies would, reminding you that your life with them is your life, and that the horrid life you had before you was one never meant for a sweet innocent little girl like you.

They saved you. Steve routinely reminded you as such, but he didn’t have to. Bucky could tell you knew it was true now just by the way your bright eyes greeted them every morning. You knew that you were only good and safe with them to take care of you. His little girl couldn't even function without them now. It was exactly how it was supposed to be.

Bucky thinks for a moment, walking closer to Steve and kneeling on the floor in front of him. He pushes his way into him, maneuvering himself between Steve’s legs, and scoops his distressed hands into his, kissing them both before looking back up to Steve.

“She won’t.” he says, thick air questioning if it's true.

But his words say more than just that. The meaningful look in Bucky’s eyes tell Steve that no matter what, they’ll always have you. And that there was no way you could get away from them. Bucky knew it wasn't just the fear of physically losing you, but the fear of hurt that they would feel if you even tried.

Steve smiles a bit, his hands pulling Bucky up so that he’s now standing between his legs. He takes his hands, sliding them down from Bucky’s sides to his hips where they rest for the moment.

“Alright,” Steve sighs, looking up to Bucky, and pulling him a bit closer by his belt loops, “but any sign of trouble, we leave” Steve states, seriousness in his tone, the same kind of voice he uses when they’re on missions together.

“As if it would be any other way.” Bucky remarks, a smirk teasing his face as he dips his head down a bit to meet his lips with Steve’s. Steve sighs into his kiss, feeling the tension leaving his body just by Bucky’s stable words and secure presence.

“You think too much Rogers” Bucky teases after breaking from the kiss, thinking of all the times Steve would try to worm his way out of Bucky having to go on a mission with him in fear of his partner getting hurt–whether it be mentally or physically–Steve couldn't bare the thought of having to see Bucky like he was when he saw him for the first time in this new world.

“Can’t help it,” he breathes, Bucky never ceasing to take his breath away from his all-encompassing kisses. “I love you two more than anything,” he says earnestly as if it’s the only known fact in the universe.

“I know” Bucky smiles, “I know.”

“Oh-sorry Daddy!” you turn around, not meaning to ignore him. He holds out a sweatshirt and you instinctively hold up your arms so he can help put it on you. “Did you see the Ferris wheel Daddy?” you ask excitingly for the third time that night. Bucky chuckles a bit.

“Yes, I did,” he answers as if it’s the first he’s hearing about it while putting some soft-knitted mittens he had in his pocket on your hands. “M’not sure if Dada heard though,” he whispers to you, “maybe you should go tell him,” he informs you with a wink.

You hurriedly run over to Steve, jumping in place over and over again in front of him.

“Dada! Dada!” you take his hand and drag him a bit closer to where you had the best view of the colorful wheel. “Look!” you point and turn to him with an excited expression. “Can we go? Please? Pretty please? Please please please please-” you babble over and over again while continuing to jump up and down until you’ve all but run out of air in your lungs.

Steve looks at the contraption suspiciously, not trusting of the achy-sounding metal, and certainly not wanting his little girl near anything dangerous. He catches a glimpse of Bucky though, who’s contagiously smiling at you both, and remembers how often Bucky tells him not to worry so much.

“Okay-okay” Steve caves, unable to help but smile at your hyper manner right now. “Just this once, then we can go home and get you all nice and warm” he teasingly pinches at your cold cheeks.

“Yayayay!” you literally scream out, not even caring one bit that he said it was only once or that you had to go home after this. You were more than overjoyed that you got to ride it at all.

You start to make a sprint for it, only getting a few feet when resistance yanks you back, stopping you in your tracks and forcing you to steady yourself from the unexpected halt in momentum. Steve hadn’t even pulled on the backpack at all, it was just your pure running and his not moving an inch that caused you to ricochet back a bit. It’s a wonder you didn't fall flat on your behind.

“Heh-sorry!” you sheepishly laugh it off and wait patiently for them to catch up with you in basically two full steps for them.

As you make the short walk to the diminishing line in the late hour, Steve stops to tie his shoe, occupying both of his hands. You swing your arms aimlessly around waiting for him to finish while looking around.

As you mindlessly scan the area around you, your head does a double take as you recognize something.

No–someone.

You watch the stranger in confusion until the remnants of memory come back to you. It was a friend. But this person wasn’t Peter or Wanda…no. It was a friend from…before.

It disorients you, confusion washing over you and placing a pit in your stomach as your life before now was mostly forgotten and placed in a dusty cardboard box in the back of your mind’s vaults.

You watch as they walk away, towards where you know leads to the parking lot. And as if something takes over you, you start following their footsteps, unhinderedly drifting away from where Steve and Bucky are.

As you mindlessly follow, several feet behind, memories of your past life replay in your mind. They playback in black and white as if you’re watching one of those really old movies Steve likes to show you sometimes.

Then you hazily remember when they first found you…took you. Emotions of how scared and confused you were overtake your mind. You remember how they kept you in the house, never letting you leave.

“Sily girl, Dada can’t kidnap what’s already his,” Steve would tell you every time you’d harshly accuse him of kidnapping you.

“No one can protect you like we can,” Bucky would shush you after one of his punishments when you had pushed too hard. “Daddy only does this ‘cause he loves you.” he’d brush over your already bruising skin before carefully wiping away the tears that he had ignored for hours before.

Some nights you’d wake from nightmares, the specifics of it not mattering when Steve would find you crying into your stuffie. He never hesitated to pick you up and let you weep into his shoulder. Always whispering that you were okay, that you were safe.

“It’s okay angel, Dada’s here. You’re safe with me. I’ll always keep you safe. Always.” he’d repeat to you sincerely, holding onto you so tightly, as if the slightest loosening of his grip meant the very air around him would harm you.

To him though, it was true. Nothing could hurt you as long as you were in his arms. He’d carry you downstairs, where Bucky would tell you that nightmares didn’t matter “‘cause they aren’t real, doll…not like me and Dada.” he’d caress your warm cheeks while Steve fetched you some cold milk. They’d stay up with you as long as you needed, not even daring to shut an eye until you felt safe enough to sleep again.

And truthfully…you did. You did feel safe.

Maybe it was strange…the way you sought their comfort…their touch…their love, when you fought it in the beginning.

And you did fight…hard.

But every retaliation you made only ended in harsh grabs. Every effort to push them away resulted in lacerated reminders. Every moment you spent denying what they told you only yielded unrestrained punishments.

“My sweet girl…you’ll learn soon enough. Fighting us only makes it harder for you.” Steve would stroke your cheek through the bars of your crib. “All you have to do is listen to what we say. We know what’s best for you, angel.” he’d say before leaving you all tied up and alone for hours…sometimes days.

And then, after you’d more than cried yourself dry, throat scratchy from lack of hydration, he’d appear to you, asking if you’d learned your lesson. Your body would somehow discover new tears as you’d plead with him, promising him you’d be a good girl.

It’s then that he’d smile down at you so sweetly, lifting your limp body from its cushiony cage and shower you with endless affection.

He’d drown you with attention, never allowing you to lift a finger. He’d clean you up with your favorite scented soap, and after you were all done, Bucky would present you with a new set of soft clothes they bought just for you for taking your punishment so so well. They’d play your favorite shows and message every sore spot on your tired body after ordering from your favorite type of take out, something you never even told them. There wasn’t a moment where they weren’t touching you in some way, dousing you with sweet words about how much they loved their beautiful helpless little girl.

Helpless.

A word that reminds you exactly how you felt the very first time you bumped into Steve. All alone and scared, in a place that was dark and unfamiliar. You were lost then.

Just like you were right now.

You practically snap back into reality, the one where you’ve found yourself far away from the luminous festival lights and eerily close to where you can’t hear racket of activities anymore. It’s quiet, and you don’t even know where that funnily familiar person you were following went. Dread fills your insides as you realize you’re all alone.

You turn around hastily,

Anxiety fills your stomach as you rashly run in the opposite direction, before tripping on a wire that sends you spiraling down to the ground. You clumsily try to catch yourself, mittened hands harshly hitting the pavement, and asphalt slashes through your leggings, exposing the soft flesh of your knees to razor-sharp pain.

The sudden impact scares you, tears that were already forming from before start rushing out of your eyes.

Instinctually, you cry for Steve. For Dada. But when after too many moments you don’t feel their comfort, you look around and remember they’re not there. Your heart pounds as people rush by seemingly unaffected by your fallen form. You swirl your head around looking for them and are instead met with the haunting image of your green leash’s end, its ghostly emptiness scorning you from where it lays.

You cry harder, guilt and anguish now thumping alongside the throbbing in your chest that radiates to your body’s wounded limbs and you're pretty sure the only words coming out of your mouth are pathetic strings of ‘daddy’ and ‘dada.’

“There she is” Bucky spots you, both of them rushing over to you, distraught as they notice your scraped-up form.

“Dada!” you cry, leaping towards Steve and wrapping your arms around his neck as he picks you up. You helplessly weep, not just from the physical pain but from the emotional strain your misplaced detour took you on. You cry for leaving them. You can't tell if it was on purpose, but you feel awful from even remembering your past life and getting so close to being lost.

“Fuck, angel. What happened?” Steve breathes, taking the scuffed mittens off your hands to examine you closer.

“I-...I-” you try to speak through gasps of crying. They both question you on where you went and why you walked away. You barely manage to tell the story in broken sobs as to what truthfully happened. They listen intensively as you tearfully explain the details of what happened.

“But-but-I-I don’t wanna! Don’t wanna lose daddies! Don’t wanna! Didn’t mean t-to! I-I p-promise-I-I didn’t!” you stagger between breaths, gasping for air as your sob relentlessly in Steve’s arms.

“Shh, hey-hey” Bucky caresses your head, directing your attention to him. “It’s okay, doll. It’s okay. You’re okay.” he consoles. Steve gently wipes your tears at the same time and helps in calming you. You look at them both through blurry vision and continue weeping apologies to which they both remind you that it’s okay.

They were scared to death when they only took their eyes off you for a second and you were gone…but they found you, just like the first time.

They bring you over to sit down on a bench so they can better help console you and check your injuries. Steve rummages through the backpack he was carrying to get a first aid kit, and Bukcy watches through tortured eyes as you miserably cry.

“Doll.” he tenderly tilts your chin up to him. Tearful eyes red from crying look up to him. “Daddy’s proud of you.” he states, earnestly, stern and true. It makes you cry harder though, with confusion written all over your face. Proud? How could he be proud when you almost thought about running away?

“W-why?” you cry “I-I bad. bad!” you weep pitifully as you feel Steve cleaning your knees.

“No angel. You’re not bad.” Steve states, only confusing you more, you were sure both of them would be upset with you…considering they had every reason to.

“You know why?” Bucky asks, stroking your previously cold cheeks that have now been warmed by your tears. You shake your head no as more seemingly endless tears fall. “‘Cause you came back,” he says, wiping them as they come. “You came back to find us. That’s all that matters.” Bucky reassures you.

It hurts, both his and Steve’s worst fear almost coming to life.

But it didn't.

And truthfully, no one understood that more than Bucky. He knew more than anyone what it was like to get confused. To see or hear something otherwise mundane that whips you back to a place where you feel out of control.

The story you recanted to them rings all too familiar to him. It reminds him of shaky hands and paralyzed tongue that attempted to explain to Steve what it was like to not be in control of your own body. Your own actions.

It didn’t matter that you wandered away. It didn’t matter where your thoughts went. All that mattered was that you cried for them. All that mattered was your tiny hands curled around Steve's shirt so hard he’d thought you’d hurt your own fingers. All that mattered was the way you pulled Bucky closer while weeping his name as he comforted you.

All that mattered…was that you needed your Daddies.

They both reassure as such in ways they knew you'd understand. Besides, it only made sense that their little girl would get confused sometimes. That’s what daddies are for. And you came back because you knew they always made the best decisions for you. And even if on the off chance that you hadn't…that really wouldn’t have mattered anyway either. They would always find their little girl because you belong with them. Always and forever.

“Which ones do you want little princess?” Steve asks you, offering a variety of colorful bandages in front of you. Your hysteria and their sweet strong words have all but distracted you from the pain of the scratches lacerating your knees. You point to the ones you like and Steve praises you for making “such a good choice babygirl.”

Bucky holds you close and lets you bury your head in his chest while Steve carefully puts them on. You feel guilt again when you notice that the soft mittens now have little scuffs and holes in them that match your pants. But Steve reassures you that it’s ‘no biggie’ and that they can always get you another pair.

“How about Daddy and I get you some ice cream?” Steve suggests, knowing sweets was at least one way to cheer his sweet girl up.

You sniffle, looking to him at the suggestion.

“Ice cweam?” you say with a small voice “I-I wike ice cweam” you say softly, not meaning to slur your words. But you never did anyway, it always just happened beyond your control.

“I think that sounds perfect, huh doll?” Bucky says lightheartedly and sweetly while picking you up from the bench and placing you in Steve's arms.

“Wif sprinkles toos?” you ask, rubbing your sore eyes.

“All the sprinkles for my sweet little girl” Steve smiles at you while playfully poking at your side making you giggle a bit.

The cold dessert cools your hot throat and brings a smile back to your face. Of course, what really made you happy was knowing your daddies weren’t upset with you, and even more importantly, that you were never going to lose them.

“Hey what’s that on Dada’s face?” Bucky points directly to Steve, making you turn to examine it closely as you're still in his arms. It gives Bucky the opportunity to steal a lick from your ice cream.

“Hey!” you laugh turning back to Bucky’s not-so-secret move when you realize there was nothing amiss on your Dada’s face.

“What?” he puts his hands and shoulders up in a shrug of confusion while looking around and feigning confusion. You giggle more as obvious signs of ice cream are on the tip of his nose.

“Looks like daddy’s the one with something on his face” Steve teases, and you laugh with them while they let you finish your little treat.

“You still wanna go up on the Ferris wheel babygirl?” Steve asks after wiping your hands clean from any sticky residue. You look up to him with awe and shock, not expecting him to still offer it.

“Really?” you question with a hopeful but weary look on your face from not being sure of why you deserve it. Steve nods at you and tells you yes. Maybe he was skeptical before, but nothing was better than seeing his little girl's face light up in a smile.

Plus, Steve knew you were their little girl. More than that, he knew that you knew. In your heart, you came back to them. You needed them. And that’s all Steve could ever want.

You’re squeezed between your two daddies as the wheel makes its way up to the top. They watch as you look in awe of how tiny everything looks from up above. This must be what it's like for your daddies to see all the time. You feel as though you’re at the tippity top of the wheel forever. You don’t mind as it’s beautiful and quiet up there with the only people in the world you wanted to be with. You tiredly lay your head against Steve's arm, signaling to him that you’ll likely sleep the whole drive home.

“I love you,” you say contently, and they know you say it for both of them.

“We love you too angel. So much,” Steve tells you, smiling down at his sleepy little girl, and looking up to see Bucky’s lightened up face too.

He takes it all in, remembering the times when just he and Bucky would go out to these things–or really–when Bukcy would drag him to the carnivals. He knew how much Bucky loved this. He knew how much you loved this. And he loved it too. He loved you both, and that was all he needed.

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1989stanz · 3 months

Text

Karaoke at Xander's birthday

Sooo, this one been sitting in my drafts and I've been thinking if it's good enough for me to post. My immediate answer was “no”, but I kind of liked this one. A quick remainder: the year was 2009 and I just put songs that were trending at the time or were made before 2009. Hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: mentions of Nash Hawthorne, Jameson Hawthorne, Alexander Hawthorne, Grayson Hawthorne and minor cursing. The characters are not mine! They belong to Jennifer Lynn Barnes.

English is not my first language! Sorry if there's any mistakes.

Word count: 10K (it's acceptable, isn't it?)

December 17th, 13 years ago

It was December at Hawthorne House, which meant two things: Christmas and Xander birthday party. It was always the most busy month in the house—with employees walking around the mansion, carrying balloons, boards full of the most expensive foods, Christmas lights, and the decorations for the trees. Overall, it was the mess that came along with Alexander's birthday mixed with the mess that came with Christmas. Xander liked this time of the year, not just because it was his birthday and his favorite holiday in one month together. And definitely not because he used to make jokes that the employees looked like robots, focused on nothing else but doing what they were programmed to do. December was usually when Skye arrived, just to spend the holiday and go back by new year. She wasn't really present in her son's life, at least not in the way other mothers were, but she was there in December. She typically arrived on the 17th. In other words, in the day of Xander's birthday. That's why 5-year-old Xander was sitting in front of the library window. Three hours ago he got expelled from the kitchen because he would just sit there without any movement, waiting for Skye, and Nash found it depressing to see his youngest brother this way. Nash knew that it was very likely that she wouldn't show up, so he just expelled him from the kitchen, expecting that he would forget it. But Xander was a Hawthorne, wherefore he just found another window that led directly to the front door, where Skye was about to show up. At any second. But why was she taking so long? The house was already decorated for his anniversary, still, he chose to wait for his mother to start celebrating. Consequently, he waited. Waited. And waited. Waited a little more. And when he got tired of waiting, he just forced himself to wait even more. But there was no possibility she was about to show up. He looked up, glancing at the clock. 10:00 pm. He was looking at the window since 9:00 am, but he didn't catch a glimpse of Skye. “She's not going to show up” Xander thought, and hated himself for thinking it. Of course she was, she was his mother. That's what she's supposed to do. “She's not coming”, this time tears fell from his eyes to his cheeks, dropping and wetting the carpet. There was only one in the beginning, but quickly there were more than he could count. More than he could contain. So he just let them fall, without fighting. Skye had failed him—she should've been there. She should be wishing happy birthday to him, with a bright smile on her face. She should've had seen him blowing out the candles of his cake. Not only that, but she should kiss him in the forehead and ask, “What did you wish for, Xan?”. That's what she had always done, and he could practically hear himself answering his mother, “I cannot tell you! It will ruin my wish.” But his wishes were already ruined, because all he always wished was to Skye come back in his next birthday. He must have done something wrong in the last year—that would explain her absence. There is no way she missed her son's birthday on purpose. Crying, he held his head in his hands and just drowned in his misery, wondering what he did wrong to have such an absence mother when all his friends' mothers were all present—not only on their birthdays or in other special occasion. Suddenly, he heard footsteps behind him and fastly wiped his tears away, turning around to see who was coming. Jameson. “Hey, why are you crying? What happened?” At the age of seven years old, Jamie was already the biggest problem on the house, always mocking his brothers for anything. Sometimes, he made up scenarios just to mock them, like when he stole Grayson's clothes when he was taking a shower and mocked him for having a Disney princess towel. Yet, he knew when it was time to stop. Xander replied, “I'm not crying. My eyes are just sweating.” Jameson raised an eyebrow. “Eyes don't sweat.”

“At least not yours” Xander said, except that his voice was shaky, his eyes tired, and some tears were dry in his face. Not to mention the headache that he had now. His brother sat down beside him, putting an arm around his youngest brother's neck. “So, why are your eyes sweating?” His tone was calm and gentle, also he didn't complain during the time that Xander took to reply. “She didn't come” he said weakly, his voice lower than a whisper. Jamie didn't have to ask who. She didn't show up for his birthday neither, but he pretended it didn't matter like he always did. “I know it hurts, but she won't be here for all your birthdays. She wasn't here for mine, but it's okay. You can still enjoy it. She'll be here soon.”

Sniffling, Xander acknowledged the elephant in the room, “Why she's rarely here?” Jameson arched his back, tense. He didn't know, and he didn't like to think about it—otherwise it would mean that she considered other things more important than her own children. “Maybe she's just busy. Why don't you spend some time with us?”

Us as in Jameson, Nash, and Grayson. “I don't think I'm up to anything right now.” He stared at the ground, unable to even think straight. Jamie squeeze his shoulder, asking really quietly, “Not even karaoke?”

After a long time gathering himself, with Jameson telling him about that one time he put superglue on Nash's favorite cowboy hat, and he had to get a buzz cut after using it just to make Xander laugh through his misery, they knocked on their brothers' bedrooms. Nash and Grayson were both reluctant, but once they understood the whole situation, they just agreed profusely. Walking through the halls, they tried to not make too much noise to do not disturb the employees sleep. They had a really tiring day and needed rest. Once they arrived, Nash turned the lights on, revealing the karaoke equipment in the stage. Untouched. Brand new. Ready for the night. Jameson started to run to pick one of the microphones, but Nash grabbed him by the shoulder. “Hey, James, not today. It's Xander's birthday, he will choose the music. It's fair.” Jameson made a furious face at Nash. “Don't call me James. I hate it.” Nash tilted his head. “Then behave.” He looked at Xander, “It's your night, Xan. Choose whatever the hell you want to, and we'll sing it.” Xan. Skye started calling him this way because she wanted to have a different nickname for her son. It hurt to remember that. It almost hurt when he was called by Xan by his brothers, but somehow it didn't. “He's five. You're not supposed to say hell in front of him” Grayson complained, arms crossed over his chest.

“Don't worry, kid”, he side eyed Jamie, “someone taught him worse words than just hell.” It was true. Jameson one day selected all the cuss words in the dictionary, and ran up to Xander so they would found out what they meant. “So, what are we waiting for?” Xander asked, excited. “Let's see how noise we can make without getting kicked out of the house!”

Nash was the first one, and Xander meticulously considered the most unserious song for a cowboy like him to sing. Only one music popped on his head, and he put it in the karaoke machine with a devilish smile. “Nash,” he turned to his brother, “I think this one would fit you well.” Nash looked at the music author and raised an eyebrow at the name. “Taylor Swift? Who's her?”

Xander was shocked, to say the least. “You never heard 'You belong with me'?” He asked, and Nash shook his head. Did he live under a cave? “Never heard about the woman, but I know this song.” Xander nodded. It wasn't as bad as it seemed. The intro started to play and Jameson already lost it when Nash did the phone signal with his hand. Grayson tried hard to not laugh, but he was cracking up in the bridge. Xander almost fell to the ground. He was dying of laughter. “Make him stop” Grayson said, taking spaces between the words. They all had to make spaces between the words because of how funny the scene was. Even Nash couldn't hold it anymore in the end of the song. “Give me an autograph, Nash. I'm your biggest fan!”, Xander yelled, and they all chuckled. “I love this song. I'll look up for the artist later.” Nash told Xander, and he was amused. “You'll love her work!” Nash smiled and glanced Grayson. “Definitely. But I guess someone's about to sing to us, isn't it, Gray?”

Gray had, technically speaking, a bass type of voice. In other words, his voice was so low it fit classic songs really well. In Xander's words, his voice fit Katy Perry perfectly. His older brother gave him a dangerous look when 'Hot n Cold' started to play. Jameson was pleased, to say the least. “Go, Grayson!” he shouted, his voice echoing through the walls of the room. They all got up to dance and make fun of Grayson. He, in the other hand, had an incredible voice, as expected. He'd spent hours and hours singing, trying to achieve the perfect tone and not missing one single note. If he did miss, he'd have to start over and over until it was carved on his mind. Nash was dancing some steps that seemed really bizarre, but exactly like how Xander thought a cowboy would dance in this situation. Jamie was rocking the non-dance-floor, and his youngest brother too. They all were laughing, for Gray's misery. When he was done, left the microphone and came to join his brothers. “Didn't know you are a fan of Katy. I could give you my vinyls!”, Xander said cheerfully. “You cannot”, Gray narrowed his eyes. Jamie passed by them, picking up the microphone. “Though I think that Gray would love your vinyls, Xan, It's my turn to show you how my voice is better than his”, he looked at Grayson, a challenge in his eyes. Xander altered his glance between them, excited. “So it's on?”, he didn't have to give other explanation. Gray analyzed the situation, pondering if he should agree or just kick his brother's ass for saying that he has a better voice. Slowly, he shook his head, “Bring the karaoke battle, little brother.”

The situation was: Grayson, with murder in his eyes, singing “Milkshake” with Jameson, who had a wide-eyed gaze. The tension was intense and Nash almost interrupted, but he didn't take it serious. It was impossible to take anything serious when his brothers were singing about milkshakes and yards. Grayson was shooting bullets at Jameson with his eyes, what made the scene even funnier. And Jamie answered each look with a Jameson Winchester Hawthorne type of smile—long, Machiavellian, twisted, and playful. Like he was not worried about the competition because he would win eventually. Gray just had a blank face, beside his eyes.

Once it ended, they looked at Xander. “So who's the winner?”, they asked at the same time. It was determined that he would decide who was the winner. Only if he thought there was one. Spinning and picking up the mic from Gray's hand, he calmly replied, “Myself.”

“Yourself?” Jamie laughed. “You didn't even sing.” Choosing the music, he said “I'm about to,” He turned around, “but not only me.”

Tobias had bought four microphones and four mic stands for his grandsons, probably thinking that they were going to sing together at some point. The point never came naturally, but Xander saw the opportunity and took it. And the song of the night was “Just Dance.” Nash was sort of a country music fan, but when it came to Lady Gaga, he did not play. And Gray was having way too much fun for someone who claimed that “classic music is better than pop.” Dancing and singing, they didn't even bother to be in rhythm. But it was still beautiful, because it was real, natural, and imperfect. In fact, it was so perfectly imperfect. This moment—the happiness they felt and shared—would be remembered. At least, Xander will always remember how his brothers saved his birthday. He always “saved” them with his humor and genuine joy, but sometimes he needed to have moments like this in order to don't feel drained. Certainly, his brothers were more than happy to give these moments to him. Surely the whole house was awake because of the noise, but it wasn't a problem to them. Fortunately, nobody came to interrupt, leaving them to taste the magnificent and wonderful moment

#the inheritance games #the hawthorne legacy #the final gambit #the brothers hawthorne #grayson hawthorne #jameson hawthorne #nash hawthorne #xander hawthorne #fanfiction #fanfic

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beyondthegame · 9 months

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you got me SOOO obsessed with e 😭 can i please ask for some music facts about them? thank you <3

Ooo, yes!

E discovered their writing talent before their singing talent, so they originally thought ‘okay, I’ll be a songwriter’.

^ All until one day they were at their friend’s birthday party. The live music booked for it got sick and didn’t turn up so E stepped in — and boom, found their singing talent.

They have multiple notebooks full of songs written, they even have the first shitty one they started working in.

E also dates when they start working on songs.

Genre: pop, RnB, a bit of dance. They’re a very emotive artist so they’d love to sing a ballad at some point… their label isn’t keen on that last idea.

Has a bass guitar named Rebel and an acoustic guitar named Rae. Also named their grand piano Forte <- (yes, E is a softie)

They like adding Spanish lyrics to some of their songs.

E realllyyy wants one of their tracks to be on a movie soundtrack.

When they’re on tour, their team: dancers, backing singers, technicians, catering, band etc. always have the best stuff to say about how lovely, caring and inclusive E is… but of course the media love painting them out as a diva.

Anndd of courseee, they want the pinnacle, E wants a Grammy. They’ll take a Brit Award but… y’know, GRAMMY!

under the cut for my Maxine Taylor x E brainrot, because I am down BAD uggh

Pre-Beyond the Game:

I totally headcanon that E approached Second Coming and thought ‘I like them… I like HER!’ and was like super respectful about the approach, slid in the dms, met face to face a few times, became acquaintances and was completely honest from the beginning about wanting to work with Maxine.

Maxine & E got each other’s numbers, they started texting and whatever and picked a date to go to the studio. Maxine strolls in, freshly dyed red hair and says ‘go on, what are your thoughts? tell me what you want’ *insert innuendo from E here*

E eventually gets serious & says that the media has been on their ass and they’re pretty much sick of it, especially since they’re usually depicted as only a model with no talent.

And I feel like Max loosely relates in a sense where she knows that the media is always going to have an opinion on you, and I think she handles this aspect of fame better than E but y'know... it's gonna sting sometimes.

Thus, the two of them talking about their dislike for certain aspects of their careers and the media — this then caused the creation and birth of Heartless.

I feel like Heartless had a good idea behind, obviously two talented artists ready to work on it, and it ended up taking some long ass months to finish and get perfect.

Month 5: I just imagine the two of them in the studio, a little tired, well past midnight, something isn't quite going right with the song, they've ordered takeout to relax and they're talking about stuff that they wouldn't usually tell anyone... if feelings are getting caught, it's right hereee.

^ Like they're looking at each other with hooded eyes and they just knoww that, not that it's necessarily a bad idea for them to kiss/catch feelings, but they both have 'thoughts' about relationships as a whole, and their partnership was one they walked into without even thinking about anything other than music... definitely leaving whether they kissed/did anything more up to you nikka

Fast-forward: Heartless is out into the world, gets nominated for an award and the single holds such a special place in E's heart. Definitely solidified Max and E's friendship, like E adores her.

I feel like they regularly keep in contact too — calls, texts, FaceTimes, chatting shit about the media as usual. E will always want to know how Second Coming's doing. E definitely invites them to tour with them.

Alsooo, headcanon that E has literally written a song about Max: just how grateful they are for their friendship with her, how you can find a person who is such a diamond in this industry etc... but that song is never seeing daylight asdfghjkl (shy E! for once)

Beyond The Game:

E texts Maxine like 'hey, got hospitality tickets to this football game... wanna come with??'

Hospitality seats at football stadiums are soo nice, like you're inside and you can watch through a window or watch on tv and you have the best food, alcohol, and you're rubbing shoulders with other celebs that are there.

Soo, Max and E would get pictured together and they'd probably laugh about it.

Whilst they're watching the game, Max would probably say 'oh, she's cute/hot' and she's talking about Miko. Miko then scores a goal. Maxine: 'very hot'.

^ This would then get E smiling a little...

#ask #e acevedo #didn't think under the cut would be so long asdfghjkl #hope it's enjoyable to read though #nikka 🫶🏼#for anyone who isn't nikka who reads this miko is nikka's oc for this if the one romancing e <3

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prismuffin · 1 year

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OwO Anon, we need to stop sharing the same brain cell. I had it before my shift, did you take it??

Anyways, I noticed some of your tags and stuff about your snake and how crazy things have been for you. I'm not stalking your blog, I swear... I just have notifications on..

Please use this ask box message, to rant/ vent about what you are okay with sharing!

Because, you seem like the type to not bring up shit in conversation, snice you'll feel like an asshole if you took up space in a convo.

- Crow

CROW LMFAO not you calling me out perfectly with that last sentence-

yeah I practically have no one to talk to because of my current situation and I feel bad for ranting whenever but I'll take the invite and rant a bit- so with that in mind, you can ignore everything under the cut but thank you for this vent ask!

But yeah there's just a lot happening right now and it's all making me feel really bad which in turn is making me feel worse because I feel like I have no right to feel bad??

Things are pretty wild with my family right now- for some context my family is pretty big with my parents having 10 kids in total- my mom didn't have all 10 and all of my siblings are half siblings so growing up I was the only one with both of my parents present- the rest of my siblings were only related to my dad or mom. Now that mostly everyone has moved out or is living with their mom/dad they're trying to go into their retirement plan and the only problem with that is I'm still here!

my parents are trying to live in the US for certain parts of the year and in Mexico for the other parts which is totally fine but it's completely uprooting my life and I have no idea what to do. I already dropped out of my school because my depression was worsening (like it got real bad) and I couldn't take it anymore so I left it for college prep (which is online and allows me to control my hours and how much work I do) so I lost contact with most of my friends then and I'm losing time with all my other ones because I'm in a different country for half of the year- and in said country I also have no friends and the one friend I did make is leaving for Portugal so I can't hang out with them anymore.

Me moving countries/traveling often means that I have to sell most of my stuff since I won't always be in a place for too long. I already had to give away my dog and now I'm gonna have to sell my snake as well and it's terrible because I'm very attached to both of my pets. I also have to get rid of all of my clothes and throw practically everything in my room away to make moving easier and once again I'm very attached to all my stuff so it's really stressful.

I don't like to complain about all of this though because I think I sound ungrateful. Like- Wow, you get to travel the world often and at such a young age without having to worry about school? That sounds soooo hard, you're struggling sooo much. I feel like shit for hating the traveling because I know there's people that would do anything to be in my position and to see some super cool places that my parents are planning on living in for a while but the whole thing is really uprooting the comfortable life I built for myself within the comfort of my room with my snake and dog and classes that I could control. In a way it's like they're taking all of my control. I feel like I have none of it and in a way I kinda don't.

The whole thing is making my depression come back in full force- I was going to therapy for a bit but then that stopped.

Then there's the one time I was literally crying at a huge birthday dinner for one of my parents friends and no one noticed at all and at the end of the night I got yelled at in the middle of the street because I just wanted to walk home after the dinner instead of walking to the hosts house to continue the party. Random tangent I know but I think that's the night my depression fully came back and hit in the face.

Writing is a safe thing for me, I enjoy it and I enjoy making content for others and writing for myself even, at times. Recently I haven't been able to do much of that though not only because of school but also my motivation is dropping bit by bit which is why after these requests I might take break from writing while things sort themselves out in my life. I'll still be active on Tumblr and doing asks and such but writing full fics for others might take me some time!

But yeah, that's some of the things that are happening that I'm comfortable talking about. I feel like this post is too long already so I won't get into the other stuff that actually led to my depression worsening but-

thanks Crow! Even if you didn't read this I suppose it's a bit better to get this off of my chest.

#what can I say #Pris got Probs #thanks crow #personal rant #just some extra btw:#I was on my own for a bit and it was fine but then my parents got back and now it's all “get rid of the snake” “have you sold your pc yet?”#theres also some stuff with my ex and her relapsing and me wanting to reach out and help her but not knowing how #the way we ended things make them kinda complicated but hopefully I can get her a gift or smth for when she's out of the ward

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lianailia · 1 year

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I always forget to update this blog. Heh it's become what I wanted my bullet journal to be. I started one a couple of yrs ago, but just fell out of doing it. (Plus my handwriting is terrible. Haha!) But not much has changed since the last update. I turned 38, May 9th, and it was a good birthday. Wrote a lot on my fics and had my bro over for dinner and the Wall. Then that week had 2 Slayers watch parties, which makes me really happy. Hope to do it again this week. I love hosting them. Been writing a lot. Which also makes me happy. I made a new OC, not in the Slayers world though. So I'll be having fun developing her backstory. I started artwork with her but just got caught up with other things. It takes me sooo long to finish a digital pic. I think I have to let my perfectionist brain go a little with it, and forgive myself if I don't get it right away. But it's frustrating sometimes when things don't work out. Like this one Gourrina which I was excited for. Had to completely scrap. But I'm not going to quit! Art and writing are my happy places. In other news my cat, Yuki had a little worrisome spell. She got sick last Sun and thankfully I could call her vet, who is my cousin. She said I could bring her in and she got fluids and anti-nausea medicine. That helped and then I didn't have to bring her in for her checkup. And I didn't have to spend a ton on surgery or hospital bills. Which I am very grateful for. Will be a sad day if she ever leaves. Heh But that's really what's been happening. Hopefully will get more pet sitting jobs in the summer. Well, have a good week!

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lemonflowercat · 2 months

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75 soft: day 14

feeling so much better today!

[] morning walk/run or yoga x6/w

skipped to meditate because i was too anxious and...

[x] meditate x at least 15min every afternoon

...i cannot tell you how much i needed this meditation. it really helped me sink into my anxiety and just sit with, let it flow and let it be. i also tried to have a meditative morning, bringing my focus back again and again to what i'm doing instead of getting stuck in my thought loops. it was hard for sure, but it really helped.

[x] study 42h/w

finished lipids! officially down to just carbohydrates, and i don't know if it'll get done before i'm back from my birthday. this makes me sad but well. not going to dwell on it.

[x] evening wxo x6/w

strength training after so long! did a full body wxo, and it felt amazing.

[x] [x] [] 1 raw veggie or a fruit x3 meals

i made this amazing hummus with the cowpea beans from my farm bounty. just boiled the tender green beans, shelled them and blended them with some garlic. i used that to make myself these wraps that don't wrap because they're too stuffed WITH GOODNESS. hehe.

i really wanted to break out of eating omelets for breakfast everyday and this thing sticks! it's definitely going to become a go-to breakfast idea. had them for breakfast and lunch because they were so good!

[] 1400cal x6/week

cheat meal of the week - although i know that i'm gonna have a lot of these this birthday. i've actually been thinking, i'm really going to change the way i order food. although i've been able to work on my food choices at home, i still have work to do when it comes to eating out. and i'm hoping to be super mindful about the choices i make this weekend!

[x] progress picture/day x6/w

[x] 2.5L of water/day

[x] brush before bed

[x] no media consumption (one movie/d allowed) - for freezes and PMS day

started with a Dune 1 rewatch tonight because we're going to catch the sequel this weekend!

going on a break till Monday because it's BIRTHDAY WEEK! (like my actual birthday - not everyday birthday, hehe). this one's being a bit of a weird birthday, mostly because i'm making plans that involve new friends i've made in Goa. i only know them since last year, and it feels a bit...well, let's say it's triggering my insecurities. i'm that kid who feels like no one's gonna show up to her birthday party. except now we're adults - and it is possible that people won't be able to make it, and i have to take that for what it is, because adult life. i really miss my inner-circle-friends - every single one of them is too far away T-T i would never be feeling this way with them! but well, this is what growing up is and this is what being open and vulnerable is (something i'm very very hesitant to do around new people) sooo, here's me just soaking it in.

i think the only thing i'll be sad about is that, in order to fit my weekend getaway plan into my budget, i had to settle on a non-pet friendly place so i can accommodate all my friends. it breaks my heart to leave my 2 babies alone, i would love more than anything to have them with me on my birthday. well technically, i will be back before the actual day of my birthday, so i can still make time for them then.

i wish for good things for everyone - i think if i had to ask the universe for something, i'd ask for every being in the universe to have one of those serendipitously perfect days this weekend. lots of love to everyone <3 see you when i'm 28 (haha so old T-T)

#75 soft #day 14

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steamishot · 4 months

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~32~

i'm officially 32 years old! good lord. although it doesn't feel great to age, and also see everyone around me get older, i'm excited to watch my niece and the younger generation grow up. my niece is also officially 2 years old and it's been a blessing to watch her develop and now put together like 4 words. i was fortunate to attend her birthday celebration this past sunday. the turnout was huge and i was happy to get to see family/family friends that i have not seen in sooo long.

matt and i took a red eye flight back to NYC on monday/MLK day. he returned to work on tuesday/my birthday and i felt a little blue considering i went from socializing/partying a lot to basically being on my own again. the benefit to this is i feel the most energized/rejuvenated after being in my own space. all of my skincare/hygiene products are here. the bed we're most familiar with is here. and it's also nice to have quiet time all to myself - this was pretty infrequent at home living with my family who often babysat.

the job search is becoming depressing news to me again. it's a lot of waiting, waiting, waiting. however, matt has said he's not going to renew our apartment lease this year as he'll find his way back by september. with the 4 month notice, that means he needs to get something by end of april. my friend K who is always thoughtful, sent me a 90 day self-care journal for my birthday gift. i'm trying to be diligent with this as a quick daily habit which will be useful for my interim period before moving back. habits that i've kept up daily: a few minutes of chess puzzles, and at least one duolingo lesson a day. i'm now practicing chinese instead of japanese as it is more useful to me and i just hit my 41 day streak woohoo.

this week, i'm catching up with all the work i didn't do the past month i was in LA lol. i find it really hard to focus there because i get distracted easily. i felt guilty in this past meeting because i didn't seem prepared or as invested in the work (which may be myself projecting) so i'm working hard to make up for it.

recent events & future events:

went to vegas with matt's family. this trip turned into mostly meeting up with their family friends. they treated us to AYCE sushi (which was surprisingly good), provided us an airbnb to stay in, and we ate a yummy homecooked meal at someone's bougie house one night. matt, T, and i also hung out with V a 17 year old valedictorian and we all played poker together.

checked out the sphere at vegas! it's been a looong time since i've last visited vegas, maybe 7-8 years. on average, not much has changed. but it was interesting to go again, to see what my family gets up to since they visit pretty often. my parents will be going for LNY

visited BB at her new townhouse and had a girls dinner at her place with H & BT. it was a really nice visit because we talked a lot about work related things/behind the scenes gossip (i.e. a former employee who stole hundreds of thousands worth of laptops) that i'm out of the loop with. i'm the one who enters investigatory leaves on the HR system, but i rarely know what's going on until BB fills me in. at this point, i'm really looking forward to doing a hybrid schedule because i feel so disconnected to the work i do now.

introduced SZ to classpass and attended a local yoga class together. she's been checking out a number of other local yoga studios and i'm excited to try them out with her when i'm back.

party of the year - my nieces 2nd bday lol

watched hadestown broadway yesterday with matt, seated in the 3rd row from the front. these were the best seats we've had to date for any show. i remember i watched my first broadway (aladdin) show in 2014 in the balcony seats where you could hardly see the people on stage. 10 years later- started at the back and now we here lol

will be going to figure drawing at happy medium tonight with T. the model will be nude and we'll be supplied with a drink and charcoal - i'm excited!

due to broadway week and BOGO tickets, we'll be watching sweeney todd next wed!

double date with S&I next thurs, where I will make his yummy steak. i have pretty high expectations because S mentions his steaks are better than NYC steakhouses haha

equinox hotel staycation next friday-monday. i took friday and monday off this time around so we can fully enjoy the experience

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jjkeverlast · 1 year

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Hi it moonie anonie

I'm proud of you and your passed history exam i always had troubles with this subject so it very impressive to me when someone takes it in collage

I didn't send you anything in a few days bc i don't really feel that great physically and most importantly mentally so i didn't have any motivation to contact anybody and burden them with my issues but now I'm here and it was so nice seeing your post about me and my job 🥺 and i hope you don't mind but I'm going to rant a bit

But i didn't get the job yet ( at least i hope it yet ) i told them that i will be available from the 12th so they still have time to call but I'm starting to lose hope for it which is one of the factors of my poor mental state bc I've been trying to find a job for such a long time and i don't know what I'm doing wrong bc the positions i applied to say you don't have to have much experience and for the last month I've applied to almost any job that didn't have like plenty of years of experience in their description

I also would like to try and start collage again this year but move and live in the city that the collage is in ( bc i was in college before but i was taking a bus from my smaller city to the bigger one every day and although it only took less than 2 hours i think it was the main factor that broke me when i tried last time) but for that i need a job and it's not in the cards for me it seems

But it's my sister's birthday on Sunday so my parent are hosting like a family party on Saturday and i hope it will be able to make me fell better and also the preparations for it are going to take my mind of things so i hope that when i write to you next week it won't be so depressing and sad ( which I'm sorry for but i don't really have any lady else to rant about what's going in my life to )

( i hope my rant is somewhat understandable bc I'm very sad now and i think my English grammar skills escaped with my happiness today 😭)

🌝

hi baby, thank youuu!! my exam was sooo hard but it's over now, at least i don't have to think about history anymore!! hurray to that hehe

oh moonie baby :((( come here, *kisses your forehead*, i'm sorry to hear you're not feeling well currently.... of course i post about uuu!!! you're on my mind all the time!! i always wonder how you are and especially since you told me about the job, i've been hoping for the best to you in regards of that <3 all right, you said yourself there's still time for a chance that they call, so have some faith in yourself!! you felt that everything went well to the job interview, so i'm sure they'll call you again.

i understand its hard with past experiences and being rejected constantly from different jobs, but maybe this one will be different! i believe in you, and i'm sure you'll get a call from them. if not, i'll still be here and tell you that it doesn't change how you're able to get a job some day. for many it takes months and years to get a job, but in the end they get one!! don't drag yourself too much down moonie, it's not worth it. there's a lot of good things in life, and sometimes you stumble a few times but then you get back up on your feet!

i'm sure with time you'll be able to go to that specific college that you want to and live in the city!! it's all a part of growing up, so somehow you'll that destination i'm certain of it :)

yay!! happy birthday to her, i hope you guys have a wonderful day together and celebrate it nicely! i'll be celebrating with my family as well to a brunch hehe with some friends too. so we'll both have a lovely sunday!! <33

baby, you can write to me whenever. seriously, don't feel bad for ranting or talking about how things aren't exactly well. it's good to communicate about certain things that bug you, and i hope after you've shared this with me that it's given you some space to breathe a bit afterwards :')

i'm sending you a lot of warm hugs and kisses on the forehead. you'll be okay, or else i'm here if anything. take care moonie, i love you! <3 (also your english was perfect!)

#anonie 🌝#moonie <3 #lati's mailbox📬

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sugarbabyariaeva · 2 years

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Baby Steps.

I’ve been thinking about writing a blog for awhile now but I could never decide whether I’d write about my crazy and wild life growing up and how lucky and fun it truly was / is or if I should write about the difficulty of navigating this American society I grew up in but trying to find the proper footing that still acknowledged my modest Islamic middle eastern background and also feel free to do as I pleased like the friends I was raised around. Orrrr if I should write about how I have hit rock bottom in my life many times regarding love & relationships with such narcissistic men because of the relationships I witnessed around me as I grew up and how FINALLY at the ripe age of 25, I’m now realizing how these toxic patterns have truly affected me and have really begun the work of healing myself, my nervous system, meditations, health & working out. Lastly, I wondered if I should talk about my other life.. “Eva’s life” that’s my sugar baby name & poker name that I go by.. & that’s just a whole other story. So I figured this blog could be a little bit of everything. Hopefully whoever comes by my page is interested enough & wants to tag along for the ride.

I woke up this morning & didn’t grab my phone to instantly scroll on Instagram or w/e. I wanted to start my day better today with purpose. I have 99 days till my next birthday so gotta make ‘em count right? Somehow I got lost in my photos app and scrolled all the way to the top and saw the last 4-5 years of my life play out. The pics ranged from me happy with family, traveling with friends and partying it upppp vip everything and just living to me being extremely unhappy, unhealthy, unfocused, essentially felt like I was dying inside. I would lose all of this momentarily for these boyfriends (my last was the most painful-and when I say bf’s I mean recent ones.. they were the same lessons diff issues and w diff men) who were like leeches and sucked the life out of me and it’s was painful to feel and see myself begging for human decency over text message screenshots and being verbally abused and humiliating to look back on. No one really gets why you stay in these types of traumatic relationships but they have a way of creating this unearthly addiction you’ve never felt anywhere else until you met them. Doesn’t help when the guy you’re dating looks like he’s built like a Greek god and as if god put him there for you since he seemed so perfect for you specifically. & on your first date you guys felt like this was what you’d been waiting for for so long. Little did we know that was just our unhealed wounds triggering our nervous systems like “NOOOOO don’t do it” lol but I wasn’t aware yet that those butterflies and initial feelings of “wow this is IT” was just my body trying to warn me. I do think we had love and potential but unfortunately, we highlighted the wounds we both had lying beneath the surface waiting to be dealt with and processed.

As I went through the pics I felt the energy in them and decided that I wouldn’t let it ruin my day. I picked up my laptop and began doing my breathwork and once I finished I was feeling so light and good and GRATEFUL that I made it passed those extremely long painful dark dark dark days that I truly did not know how to. Addiction to people is real and it fucks with your mental stability deeply. If it wasn’t for my aunt coming down to la to visit me and seeing how disastrous I was and my cousin who moved to la going through her own depression aka we needed help lol (not to mention she’s a yogi). I don’t think I’d be here and as stupid as that sounds- I was so deep into this toxicity I know I would’ve gotten sick and most likely died somehow. The min she got here all my body aches and scratchy throat etc went away within a day. I could feel it that my vibration was sooo low and I can truly thank my aunt and my spiritual team for truly helping me so much beyond measure and raising my vibe. It was NOT easy still isn’t sometimes. I cry randomly and then I keep it pushing. Sometimes it lingers but I don’t cry cuz I’m sad. I cry for who I was during those dark times, the pain and abuse I endured.. how now I see that he was a fundamentally malicious, manipulative and a very deceptive being. All because of my “job”. Mind you, I was not sugaring then nor was I in poker really. (Lost my normal office job cuz he took me to Miami and wanted to stay an extra couple days and I had work..& I had been super sick (covid) two weeks before and they needed someone full time and hell nah- it just wasn’t it alignment) nonetheless, I knew I couldn’t do another 9-5 (he didn’t, he was a personal trainer and a trapper) & I wasn’t interested in anyone but him so in my head it was just work and I was there to be a poker hostess. He hated it. His ex did it too and yaaa that didn’t work out. Anywayssss, there is absolutely NO excuse for the way I was treated and I’m here to share with whoever reads this that life is SO much better on the other side once you PROCESS your pain, learn WHY you stayed with someone and WHY you were attracted to them in the first place.

With all this being said, I think we can call this a blog that entails life lessons, health & wellness, & a bit of toxicity as well, cuz.. life is all about balance and I’m a sugar baby & I work extremely private underground high stakes poker games in major cities all over the world lol. I call this my powerful feminine era 🤌🏽

Stick along for the ride. It will be fun✨

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bakumu-archive · 3 years

Text

enjoy the view

kinktober 2021 day 23 - hate fucking

oikawa tooru x fem! reader

wc: 2.4k

summary: when your brother hajime invites you over you didn't realize that oikawa would be there but a work emergency has haji leaving you alone with the man you hate most in the world. Will you be able to ignore his irritating presence?

cw: SMUT (sub!reader, hate fucking, degredation (of both), biting, fingering, edging, a little drool), reader has past relationship with kageyama

a/n: this was sooo much fun to write. oikawa is so great for writing banter i swear

<< back to my kinktober masterlist

minors do not interact. this work contains mature themes and if you continue reading you have agreed you are willing to see such content

You can't say how long you've hated Oikawa Tooru, but it's been that way for as long as you can remember. His stupid attitude, his ego, his ugly hair, and his annoying fangirls that always followed him around. It made you sick. Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem, since it's easy to ignore people you hate by pretending they don't exist. But not this time.

Oikawa is your brother's best friend.

How you were cursed to deal with Oikawa you never knew; maybe you were an awful person in your last life and this is your punishment. Seeing him almost every day since you were a kid only made your hatred grow. And that's not even counting all the family vacations, birthday parties, and sleepovers that you have had to endure with him.

You truly could not escape him.

Until you caught your break: he went overseas leaving you to your blissful existence without him. Until he just had to come back to visit your brother.

How were you supposed to know that Haji invited you both over? If you did, you would have turned him down, but instead, here you are, sitting on his couch as far from Oikawa as possible.

“Can’t you guys just pretend to like each other? Just for a day?” Hajime asks, clearly tired of the silence encasing the room ever since the three of you sat down.

“I don't know what you’re talking about Iwa-can, Y/N is the one who has always hated me.”

You let out a puff of air; of course he would say that, placing the blame anywhere that isn’t himself.

A ding rings out through the room and Hajime looks at his phone. “Oh shit, I have to run to work really fast, I forgot to fill out some paperwork. Shit.”

He hurries around, grabbing a jacket and putting on his shoes before turning to the two of you sitting in shock in his living room. “I'll be back in 30 minutes. Please don't kill each other while I'm gone.”

The sound of the door closing echos loudly in your ears. Your brother got up and left before you even had time to process what was happening, and now you're alone in his apartment with his best friend and the person you just happen to hate the most in the world.

You can feel the weight of his analytical eyes burning into you and it makes you boil with hatred. Why did Hajime have to choose this piece of trash as his best friend and then force you to spend time with him?

You stand with a huff, stomping your way to the kitchen to get yourself a glass of water.

How dare Hajime leave you alone with this petulant child. Even now, you can hear him giggling at something on his phone, probably another concubine throwing themselves at him.

He's so childish, playing games with these people’s hearts. It makes you sick. If he can be childish, so can you.

“Hey Oikawa, do you want a glass of water?” you call out to him with your sweetest voice.

You can hear his ego bloom from his chest as he falls into your trap, “Aww, is little Y/N finally warming up to me?” The annoying, slithery tone of his voice grates your nerves, but you just need to wait. “I’d love a glass of wa—"

“Get it yourself then,” you interrupt, smiling to yourself, enjoying this act a little too much.

He lets out a malicious laugh, and you hear the stomp of his irate footsteps as he gets closer to the kitchen but you can't help but snort in laughter.

His eyes are dark as he walks up to you, a little too close to your liking, and forces you to take a step back. The counter top digs into your lower back as he cages you in, his hands resting on the countertop on either side of you while his face comes level with yours.

“I'm sorry, what did you just say?” he snarls, his face contorting infuriatingly.

You don't back away from him when he moves closer this time, as he waits for you to respond.

“I said," your reply shortly, head tilting to the side, "get it your fucking self, asshole.”

You watch his nostrils flare as he grinds his teeth, his jaw ticking to the side.

He's so close, so annoyingly close. His breath fans across your face when his lips part, and you can smell his expensive cologne.

His eyes are half-lidded as he cocks an eyebrow at you, tilting his head to the side so his annoying hair falls over his face.

Your heart pounds in your chest as Oikawa's gaze flicks between your lips and your eyes; his face slowly starting to move closer to yours, until his lips are a hair's width away from your own, and your breath hitches.

You don't think as your body erases the space, your lips crashing into his for just a moment before you pull away, marveling at the tingle left on your lips.

You hear a growl rumble through him before he kisses you again. His lips move with a fire driving them, all of the pent up anger inside you both flowing into your kiss.

Your fingers thread into his hair, yanking on his roots, causing him to gasp into you.

You hate this. You hate that you like his touch. Hate the way he grips your hips and pulls your body into his with enough strength to knock the breath from you. Hate the way his tongue flicks against yours with practiced precision. And you definitely hate the way he thinks he has the upper hand.

You suck his bottom lip into your mouth, rolling it between your teeth before you bite down on it.

He winces and pulls away, looking at you with frenzied eyes, “Ow, you bitch.”

Your hands pull his hair and his eyes almost flutter at the pain as you pull him closer. “Shut the fuck up,” you sneer, kissing him again before he has the chance to respond.

His kiss is greedy, draining your body of all thoughts as his tongue rolls against yours and his hands move across your body. They pull you with a bruising grip and push you away with soft soothing touches. The difference leaves your mind racing, wondering if you're actually enjoying this.

One of his hands wraps around your neck, holding you in place so that he can shove his other hand into your pants. His fingers brush against your swollen clit and you try to suppress your moan.

“Just what I fucking thought, you’re soaked.” The snarl in his voice doesn't fool you as you see pride shine in his eyes.

“Fuck off, you act like your dick isn’t throbbing in your pants right now.”

You felt how hard he was when kissing you a moment ago and a brush of your fingertips over his pants only confirms it. Your touch is soft until you grab his cock through his pants. The groan he lets out is so lewd, it belongs in porn.

He pushes his hand farther into your pants until he can reach your cunt. His middle finger swirls around your hole until he thrusts one finger in you, quickly joined by another as he sets a quick pace.

You close your eyes so you don't have to watch him bring you closer and closer to your edge, because fuck, he sure as hell knows what he’s doing. His fingers curl inside you as he fingers you, almost yanking the pleasure from your body. Dangling you over the cliff's edge before throwing you back.

He removes his fingers just as you were about to orgasm, and you open your eyes in disgust, your lips curling, but just as you're about to give him an earful, your body is spun around. He pushes your chest down on the cool countertop, and you can feel your nipples pebble from the cold stone.

He grabs the waistband of your pants and underwear and pushes them down your legs before you can hear him unbuckle his own pants.

His hand rests on your back, stilling behind you and you roll your eyes, “What the fuck’s taking so—"

But you're cut off abruptly when he shoves his fingers in your mouth, pressing down on your tongue.

“Am I not allowed to enjoy the view?” he laughs as he runs the velvety head of his cock against your dripping cunt.

You try to respond but he increases the pressure on your tongue, causing drool to pool against his fingers.

He slowly pushes into you, stretching you as his cock slowly buries itself inside your walls. The sting gives way to pleasure as the tip of his cock kisses that spongy spot inside you.

Oikawa slowly drags his cock from your wet heat and pushes back in, again and again. You hate that he feels so good, hate that he knows what he’s doing to your body and maybe you could enjoy it more if it wasn't for his fucking mouth.

“I never understood why you hated me so much,” his voice is full of malice as he moans behind you. Each thrust makes his voice more and more whiny. “You act like I stole the sun and pissed on your grave when I've never been anything but nice to you.”

You bite his fingers, causing his hips to stutter inside you. Of course he's a masochist.

You try to harden your voice so that he can't tell how on edge he's making you. “You're an annoying bitch, with your stupid fans and—” but you can’t even finish a sentence before he’s interrupting you with a harsher thrust that digs your body against the hard counter.

“Is that it?” He keeps a hard pace as he enunciates every word with a punishing thrust, “You were jealous my attention wasn't on you? Hmm?”

Your legs start to shake as he hammers into you. You hate him. You hate him. You try to express your thoughts but all that escapes your mouth are whimpers and babbles.

“Do you know what your brother would have done to me if he knew that every night I went home thinking about his sister's tight little cunt?”

Your cunt clenches on its own at his words, and your eyes flutter. You can't help but moan as he drags more pleasure from you while your walls are trying to hold him still.

“Oh, you like that?” His hand moves to your shoulder, grabbing and pulling your back into a beautiful arch as he whispers sinfully into your ear. “You like knowing that I've been jerking off to the thought of you for years?”

Your hands clench as you try to take in his words. Him jerking off to you? No way. He hates you and you hate him. That's how it is, that's how it always has been. But fuck, why does it make your chest warm?

“Hng, no!” you manage to gasp out.

“Oh yes, yes you do.”

A shiver runs down your body as he angles his hips to hit deeper inside you.

“You even went and dated Tobio-chan. Tell me, did he fill you this good? Did he make you cum on his cock like I'm about to?”

“I— I... No,” you pant, grabbing the edge of the counter top to try and steady yourself as his thrusts increase in speed.

He pushes your body back down on the counter as the drawl of his hips set your nerves on edge. The building pressure in your core sends your head spinning, and you can't believe that the person behind you is him. The annoying asshole that you’ve hated for years is the same one fucking you into oblivion right now.

He leans over your body, his lips sliding against the sensitive skin of your shoulder.

“Say my name and you can cum,” he says so sweetly, trying to trap your body into complying to his wishes.

“No. No, please. Just let me cum.” You feel his pace slow down slightly before your body yells, “Oikawa!”

“No, my other name.” The command is so absolute you feel yourself pulse around him again.

“Little bitch—” He slows his hips again, almost to a stand still and you can feel the feeling in your core starting to slip until you scream, “No!”

He picks up his pace again, grabbing your hips and holding you still as he drives into you again, “Then say my name.”

He pulls your hips aways from the counter so he can wrap an arm around your waist to put pressure on your clit. Delirious sinfully addictive pressure right where you needed him. You can't help it, you have to—

“Tooru!”

As soon as his name leaves your lips, you can feel him smile into your shoulder. He angles his hips again and as his fingers work over your clit, his cock hammers into you. Your legs start to shake as you feel the orgasm you've been trying to stave off come rushing full force.

You let your head fall forward as you gush around his cock, milking him for all he's worth as he continues to piston inside you. Whispers of your name leaving his lips only prolong your orgasm, and now you know why he wanted to call for him. It's twisted and repulsive, but the way the syllables roll off his tongue have you rocketing higher.

Your shuttering body pushes Oikawa over the edge. A long groan vibrates his body as his thrusts lose steam inside you, until his hips falter. He paints your walls with his cum as your walls flutter around him. His dick twitches inside you as both of you pant, coming down from the stars together.

Bonus:

You hear the door click open as you sit on the couch, in the exact same spot you were in before your brother left. But as soon as the door is open, Iwaizumi can sense that something is different.

He takes off his shoes as he scans his apartment. Sure, the both of you are sitting in the same spots but the air is different. He looks between the two of you for a good minute, and each time he looks back at Oikawa, his best friend's face becomes redder and redder.

Iwa walks up to Oikawa, narrowing his eyes and searching his face, until he suddenly steps back and gasps.

“Did you guys fuck?!”

#oikawa x reader #oikawa toru x reader #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa smut #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smut #bakumu does kinktober #sub!reader

1K notes · View notes

rafescoke · 3 years

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i’m sooo obsessed with your entire page holy moly. if you’re taking requests can i get kinda an angst one where the reader is with jj and finds out him and kie have been doing stuff behind her back, and the rest of the group knew the whole time? so she ends up getting close to rafe and hanging out with his friends so it eventually ends up with rafe x reader??? sorry that’s so long lol pls never stop writing, i love your fics too much <3

All I Ask ; Rafe Cameron

masterlist

#Part 1

#Part 2

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader x JJ Maybank

Summary: Reader finds herself in the arms of her best friend’s brother after finding her boyfriend cheating on her

Warnings: Cheating, substance, mentions of sex, jealous Rafe, JJ & Kie being an asshole

A/N: Thank you so much for the amount of love I received from my last two works! It has been so overwhelming and I love each one of you with all my heart <3

p.s, my request box is always open! Send random ideas and I’ll turn them into a fic <33

p.p.s, so sorry if this isn’t my best work :(

“Come on, (Y/N), don’t be a party pooper!”

(Y/N) rolled her eyes as she pulled her best friend aside from all the commotion, “Sarah. I’m serious. I feel like he’s cheating on me.”

“He’s not!” Sarah groaned, and when (Y/N) gave her a look, she sighed. “I’m serious. He loves you too much, okay? Look, tomorrow’s your birthday, right? I’m sure JJ’s just ignoring you as a part of your birthday surprise.”

(Y/N) wanted to believe her so bad, but she couldn’t deny the strong feeling growing inside her. Ever since a month ago, JJ wasn’t there for her like always. When she tried to hold him in the van or at the Chateau, he would flinch and scoot away from her. She didn’t know what to do anymore.

“Look-” Sarah cupped her face, her eyes boring into hers. “I promise that he’s not cheating on you. Can you please let this go? How about you go and find him, have a smoke, and then come back to me with the verdict?”

(Y/N) hummed back in response, thinking about what Sarah had just told her. When she first moved to Obx from the city 4 years ago, she had been spending most of her time with the other kooks. When she bumped onto JJ one particular evening while he was too busy mowing down her lawn, that was when most of her happiest days started.

(Y/N) made her way towards the far end of the beach where JJ and the other pogues were hanging out, her feet lightly patting against the hot sand. (Y/N) took a deep breath when she saw the love of her life laughing on a log, and quickly walked towards him.

“Hey,” she started, sitting on the empty space beside him. JJ shifted, giving her more space, and muttered a quick ‘hi’ back. He offered her a beer, to which she shook her head to, and he shrugged before downing the whole content.

“You’ve got some beer here,” (Y/N) said, leaning forward to wipe the tiny droplet on his chin. JJ hurtled backwards as if on cue, and quickly wiped the stain with the back of his hand. (Y/N) stared at him, being caught off guard, but decided to not create any drama.

“You really don’t have to do that,” (Y/N) muttered, wrapping her cardigan over her tighter. The cold night air swept over her, causing her hair to fall over her shoulders. She didn’t bother to fix it as she watched JJ scoffed, the fire in front of them reflecting on the surface of his blue eyes.

“Do what? Wipe my mouth? Come on, (Y/N), it’s really not that big of a deal,” JJ sighed. He didn’t even bother to hold her hand, to reassure her that it’s really okay, and instead he continued his conversation with John B about some kind of a movie. She noticed Pope looking at their way, but he quickly turned to look at the waves when she returned his gaze.

“Do you want to smoke?” she tried again, this time with her hands on his lap. He didn’t move, and (Y/N) took this as a good sign, her heart fluttering happily.

It’s progress.

“You sure?” he asked, fumbling with his back pocket to reach for his extra blunt. When he grasped the rolled up herbs between his fingers, he handed it to her, smiling when she scooted closer. He lighted it for her, watching her took a deep huff before blowing the smoke.

“That’s good?” he asked before taking a blow for himself. He felt his heavy mind getting lighter, the weight he has been holding since forever slowly lifting into the air. He laughed, and turned to look at the state of the girl beside him.

“Thank you, baby,” (Y/N) smiled, this time with her head on his shoulder. She saw Pope looking at them with some kind of a heavy look again, but just like before, he turned away before she could ask him anything.

“Pope?”

Pope’s attention from the crashing waves turned completely to (Y/N), his eyes wide and his mind panicking. His eyes glanced to the blonde boy beside her for a second, but it settled back to her. “Yes?”

“You’re okay? You keep looking at me. Is there anything that you want to tell me?”

“Me?” he pointed to his chest, and when he saw the look on JJ’s face, he laughed, making an action of swatting his hands against the air. “Oh no. I was just thinking about something else. I guess I involuntarily looked at you.”

(Y/N) laughed with him, her head still on JJ’s shoulder, her eyes slowly squinting against the glowing fire that seemed to be too bright. She turned to whisper to JJ, “Can we go home?”

“Tonight? But It’s Bonfire night. We can’t leave yet,” he protested, glancing at both of his friends for help. Pope, not wanting to spend anymore time with them anymore, quickly stood up from his seat and walked towards the main space of the party.

“I’m gonna go with Pope, okay? Find Sarah. Go and talk to her? I’ll call you later,” JJ quickly added, standing up from his seat, stirring (Y/N) from her previous position. She sighed, her head still woozy, but she didn’t want to think about the possibility of him cheating on her.

He wanted her first, it’s just not possible for him to suddenly lose feelings for her. The countless times he would tell her that he loves her, that she’s the only girl he will ever mark as his, and now nothing?

She groaned, kicking the sand, all while the muffled music thrumming against her eardrums. She turned to look at John B, the only guy left with her, and opened her mouth to say something.

“Do you see the problem, John B?” she asked, her voice slow. When he didn’t reply, she sighed again, this time standing up from her seat to return to the ongoing party. “This is exactly the fucking problem.”

She didn’t understand; why is everyone treating her differently? What did she do? She sacrificed almost everything to be apart of their group, including her relationship with her kook friends. At that moment, she longed for her bedroom, where she knew she will be totally safe, all cuddled up with Netflix to enjoy.

“If it isn’t the princess,” a voice said from behind her back, and (Y/N) rolled her eyes before turning to look at the source. The tall figure of Rafe Cameron loomed over her, and (Y/N) tried to block his scent of cigarette and expensive cologne. She never really stopped liking his smell.

The Camerons and her family are business partners, and that was the core reason for her family to move to Obx in the middle of July 4 years ago. Meeting Sarah and her siblings for the first time, she couldn’t deny the strong attraction she felt towards the oldest sibling, but she had thought of it as nothing more than a silly crush and tried to focus more on her relationship with a certain blonde boy living on the other side of the island.

“You can take a picture, it’ll last longer that way,” he smiled, and (Y/N) groaned when she could hear the amused tone lacing in his gruff voice. She made to walk away, but was halted by Rafe’s fingers around her wrist.

“Come on, I was just playing. That’s not the way to treat an old friend,” he laughed, letting go of her. He looked around her, noticing her odd behaviour, and suppressed his smile. “Where’s the boyfriend?”

“I don’t know,” she finally replied, and returned the gesture of looking around him. “Where’s the girlfriend?”

Rafe laughed, throwing his head back as his hair messily slicked to the back. “Girlfriend? I don’t do girlfriends. Come on, (Y/N), you know that.”

“Not a surprise,” she said in a singing tone, giving her attention towards the dancing bodies next to the speaker. “Look, Rafe, just say whatever you want to say to me, okay? I’m tired of trying to figure out what people wanted to say to me.”

“I just want to make a conversation,” he shrugged, chugging down his beer before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. His actions reminded her of JJ, and she quickly looked away when she felt a pang of hurt across her heart.

“Uh-oh, I know that look,” Rafe said, tugging her chin to force her to look at him. (Y/N) grunted, feeling his cold skin against hers, but she let him stare into her eyes before quickly pulling away. “Yeah. It’s that look you’ll put when you’re worried about something. What’s up?”

“Rafe, it’s really nothing,” she sighed, scooting away from the boy. She looked around again, and her eyes landed on a certain blonde boy, and she could feel her heart soaring up again. Rafe’s eyes followed her gaze, and when he saw JJ, he turned to look away.

“I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Yeah, whatever,” Rafe replied, already making his way towards the keg station. (Y/N) noticed the change in his behaviour, seeing how cold he turned, but decided not to mention it. She was being cold towards him first, so she guessed it was fair for him to be acting that way.

Rafe didn’t understand how blind she could be. Couldn’t she notice the pattern of the girls he fucked? How they all looked so similar to her?

He scoffed, sipping from his red cup as he watched her walk towards the boy that stole her from him. Everything was going perfect; they were hanging out almost every day; just her and Rafe, either it was in his swimming pool or (Y/N)’s hot tub. When her father had hired JJ Maybank to mower his lawn, that was when everything went downhill.

“Cameron,” a voice greeted from beside him, and when he turned to look at the figure, he expressed a sly smirk.

One more person that looked like her.

. . .

JJ’s phone was beside her.

She kept telling herself no, that she should trust him since they are in a relationship, but her brain was yelling for her to go through his phone.

He’s cheating on you.

She groaned, unable to contain herself anymore as she grabbed his phone, looking around briefly before typing his passcode.

The phone vibrated in her hands as she failed to guess his passcode, and she frowned before the screen. It had been her birthday’s date, so why wouldn’t it open? She tried again with their anniversary date, and again, was met with the same fate.

“What the fuck?” she said to no one in particular, and sighed before trying out random numbers. Lastly, she pressed all 1, not thinking much of it and already accepting her defeat. She exclaimed in happiness when his home screen appeared with his background a picture of a dog.

(Y/N) frowned again, remembering how it used to be a picture of them, but decided to not question it as their picture had been replaced by a dog instead of something else. She went through his Instagram, scroling down the many direct messages, through his Imessages; where he texts the pogues a lot and through his Snapchat, only finding their private pictures in his ‘my eyes only’.

She released the breath she didn’t realise she was holding, shutting the phone off and letting it lay in its previous position. She smiled, secretly cursing at herself for ever doubting JJ. He must’ve been busy with his life, just-

Ding!

Involuntarily, (Y/N) picked up the phone and watched as Kie’s name appeared. She typed in his passcode quickly, trying to see what she needs so that she could try and help her with anything in case if it’s urgent. Her heart stopped for a minute when she saw her text.

Kie: You’re sleeping with her tonight?

Why would she even text him that?

(Y/N) sat up straighter, her fingers gliding across the screen in a swift motion.

wdym?

She watched as the typing signal appeared, biting the insides of her cheeks. She looked at the direction of the toilet again, hearing the blonde boy humming to a Nirvana song. She looked at the screen again.

Kie: You promised me you would be with me tonight

Kie: Just us two

Oh my god.

She could feel the hot tears coming in, but her bathroom door creaked open, so she threw the phone back to its initial position and cleared her throat, looking to the ceiling and randomly muttering words to herself.

“Huh?” JJ asked, looking at the direction she pointed. He saw nothing, and looked back to her.

“I said white’s not the color anymore. I think I’m changing it to grey. What do you think?” She asked, feeling her throat hurting. She cleared her throat again as JJ stared at the ceiling one more time, his face all scrunched up.

“I think grey’s okay?” He said, but it was more to a question. He took his phone and sat beside her, shielding his screen from her. She watched him from the corners of her eyes, silently interpreting his strange demeanor.

She cursed when it finally hit her; she hadn’t delete her text to Kie.

She bit her lips, curling her toes and randomly tracing circles on her lap. She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t see clearly, she couldn’t think.

How could she forgot to delete that one, single text?

“I have to go,” JJ stood up, slipping his phone into his pocket. (Y/N) looked at him, ready to ask if she could follow, but halted her action when he put a hand up.

“I’m seeing John B. Something about, um, Sarah stuff. Just me and Pope. The boys,” he muttered, clearly trying to tell her that he wouldn’t be bringing her to the Chateau. (Y/N) nodded, feeling her heart sank, because she finally understood everything;

The glances he would give to Kie in the HMS Pogue, the brief moments where he would put his hands around Kie’s waist when he tries to slip in between her and someone, the flirtatious laugh he’ll emit when she makes a joke - it all made sense.

(Y/N) used to think that it was all just friendly behaviour and how he had known her longer hence it must’ve been normal for best friends to do that. One thing that (Y/N) likes about herself is how she’s able to guess things correctly -

But she had never wanted to be so wrong about something before.

“You’re okay by yourself tonight?”

“Huh?” She finally looked up to him, seeing his blue eyes staring straight into her boring ones. “Yeah. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay,” he smiled, proceeding towards the open window to exit her bedroom. (Y/N) ‘s father would never give his blessings towards this relationship, so he had to enter and exit his girlfriend’s room through the window.

He hesitated before reaching the seating girl, placing a soft but immediate kiss on her cheeks. (Y/N) smiled weakly in return, not trusting herself to say anything.

How could he?

Ten minutes after his departure, (Y/N) quickly grabbed her father’s car keys before fleeing after a particular black motorcycle. She didn’t even think about turning the car radio on, and her mind was set on only one thing; JJ and Kie.

When she arrived at the Chateau, her fingers trembling and her hair all over the place from the wind while she was driving down the road, forgetting to close the window, she quickly made her way to their usual hanging out place.

Before she could enter the room, Pope’s voice interrupted her actions.

“(Y/N)? What the fuck are you doing here?” he asked, his eyes widening. He looked at her palm around the doorknob, and let out a nervous laugh. “You’re looking for JJ? He’s not here.”

She gets it now.

“Pope, I know,” was all she said before opening the door.

She felt her world shattering right after she was greeted with the sight of Kie on JJ’s lap, running her fingers through his blonde locks while she kissed him tenderly like (Y/N) always did. John B and Sarah were right next to him, cheering him on, but stopped when they finally looked up to the looming figure.

“Oh my god,” Kie exclaimed, pushing herself off JJ and fixing her hair. (Y/N) made a look, disgust filling every inch of her body as she quickly walked away from the scene, not wanting to hear any apologies or explanation.

None of that mattered to her; she just wanted to go home.

“(Y/N)!” she heard him yell, but she exited the Chateau as fast as her feet could take her, not stopping to look at him. She cursed when she couldn’t find the right key to open her door, her fingernails clanking against the metal.

“It was a dare!” JJ said, right after he reached her. He watched as she didn’t pay any attention towards him, still fumbling for her keys. “I swear! The kiss was just a dare!”

“Was the text a dare as well?” she asked, finally putting the right key into the keyhole and stepping into the car. JJ cursed and stepped aside, feeling drained and tired from the screaming.

Of course he didn’t send the ‘wdym’. He never like short forms, only using them when he is in the toilet and typing with his left hand. Why didn’t he realised this sooner?

“I’m sorry,” he said, but before he could say anything else, the girl drove straight towards the exit, away from him.

The worst part of all wasn’t about not having a chance to explain himself to get out of the mess he made, but it was when he saw the pained look on her face.

“Fuck!” he yelled, kicking a stone and making his way back towards the Chateau.

(Y/N) fingers scrolled down the many contacts in her phone as she tried to focus on the road simultaneously, and finally stopping when she reached the letter ‘R’ contacts.

She tapped on the first name under the R letter, putting the phone call on speaker and placing her phone on her lap. She shuddered, suddenly remembering the way she had found JJ and Kie in, but shook her head when his voice filled the atmosphere.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Rafe.”

add yourself to the taglist!

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron imagines #rafe x reader #rafe cameron smuts #drew starkey #drew starkey x reader #outerbanks #outer banks #outerbanks imagines #outerbanks x reader #jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank imagines

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1kook · 3 years

Text

commercial break: twelve

this is part of my netflix & chill series a prelude to part 10 <3

SUMMARY Anyway, if it was up to Jungkook, Kim Doyeon would not be a member of the Engagement Ring Committee. WARNING none !! we r safe MISC jk and doyeon mortal enemies, nearly everyone is mentioned, thank u namjoon, jk loves oc, the end <3 jimin makes his first appearance O_O WC 1.4k

NOTES we just having fun with it!!! jk’s friendship with everyone else <3

Doyeon says you have fat fingers, and Jungkook takes great offense at that. “Who cares about the size— __ has pretty hands, idiot,” he mutters, and almost wants to feel bad about being so childish in the middle of this jewelry store. But Kim Doyeon is a pest— a fly who just won’t stop buzzing by his ear with each ring they look at, and she has the audacity to look disgusted with him now. Jungkook very much regrets inviting her along. She exudes very similar energy to the popular girls he used to go to high school, the ones that would only talk to him because he was friends with Namjoon and wanted Jungkook to help them into his pants. Lo and behold, Kim Doyeon is very acquainted with whatever’s inside Namjoon’s pants. She hits the mark perfectly.

“Oh, definitely get her a rock. Like, one of those obnoxiously bing and shiny rings, maybe?” And she never stops talking.

Jungkook hasn’t had to spend this much time with her in months, the last time being Namjoon’s birthday when you had tasked the two of them to go pick up the cake together. Not only was Doyeon adamant on passenger-seat driving — “Turn here,” she says a moment too late, “no wait, here — but she had been an absolute heathen outside in the bakery parking lot.

(“Okay, now take a picture of me by this wall,” she says, artfully holding up the box of cake in two hands, dark hair flipped over her shoulder. Jungkook doesn’t know how to tell her that there is no significant difference between this brick wall and the brick wall they just took a picture by two minutes before.)

Anyway, if it was up to Jungkook, Kim Doyeon would not be a member of the Engagement Ring Committee. It would be him and Namjoon, and maybe Namjoon’s blunt roommate Jimin if he was feeling down for it, but that was pretty much it. Even Taehyung, a very close and dearly cherished friend, had not made the cut. He was too lazy, didn’t offer much concrete advice other than the occasional, “that one looks cool” comment.

The great thing about Namjoon is that he’s highly educated on just about every aspect of life; he knows the best hairstylists — “You can always ask Hobi,” Namjoon offers, “he’s married.” — and the best lawyers — “Oh, and Yoongi can help with your prenup.” — for no reason other than the fact he is Namjoon.

The bad thing about Namjoon is that he’s dead set on including Doyeon. “Doyeon is ___’s best friend,” he says calmly one night after dinner. You’re at your friend’s house this weekend, something about a midnight revenge plot against a shitty ex-boyfriend. He isn’t too clear on the details. “You have to let her in on it.” It’s been decades since Jungkook last stomped his foot in annoyance, but the urge wells up strongly in him now.

Jimin is on the couch. “Oooh, you don’t like her?” he asks, flipping his platinum hair away from his eyes. Jungkook doesn’t answer, only because it would be rude to confirm it in front of Namjoon. Jimin presses on. “Is she, like, an evil best friend?”

“Yes,” Jungkook says at the same time Namjoon says, “no.” Jimin’s got this highly intrigued smirk on his face, and Jungkook hates how similar it is to your own mischievous grins. He’s glad you haven’t met Jimin, mostly because he knows you have your mean moments and meeting Park Jimin would only exacerbate them. Namjoon frowns anyway.

Jimin says, “oh, you guys should duel. Like, whoever knows __ the best gets to keep her.”

Namjoon jumps to stop that thought. “No— they’re not gonna duel, Jimin. ___ isn’t an object to win,” he scolds, and Jungkook nods along agreeingly, pretends he hadn’t seriously considered Jimin’s idea for a solid ten seconds.

Long story short, Doyeon has tagged along to this jeweler and the past two jewelers to make sure Jungkook doesn’t give you “an ugly ring,” as she claims.

“Wait, what if you get her this one,” she says, on the other side of the store. Jungkook sighs, but hurries over anyway. Hey, he’s here to see some rings, okay?

Doyeon is looking at the most ugly ring Jungkook has ever seen, a mix of a braid and a snake, that is just too… not you. “This is hideous,” he says, disregarding all and any notions of being polite because at this point, she had to be pulling his leg. “___ would hate this.”

At his side, Doyeon huffs. “Oh, ‘cause you know ___ sooo well, don’t you?” she snarks.

Jungkook levels her with a glare. “I do, actually,” he says, “that’s literally what made me want to marry her.” And because Kim Doyeon sparks a very immature flame within him, he feels the need to add, “I probably know ___ better than you,” to top it off.

Doyeon scoffs. “No, you don’t— you will never know her like I do, you overgrown fungus,” she spits. “Me and ___ have exceeded any level of trust you could ever hope to have, a friendship forged on the grounds of love and equal values. A nerd like you can’t even begin to fathom the absolutely crazy shit we’ve shared with each other.”

If he was eight years younger, Jungkook is certain he would have gone home and cried. Mid-twenties Jungkook, on the other hand, has had one too many rodeos with mean girls — he’s dating a retired high school cheerleader, for goodness sake, an apex predator if he’s ever seen one — and will not stand for it. Besides, Jungkook has received your blessing to check Doyeon into place if ever she crosses the line.

(“Sometimes you just gotta knock her down, maybe call her a dumbass if necessary,” you had said one night after Doyeon had unceremoniously barged into your apartment to monopolize your evening plans with Jungkook. Now it’s nearing midnight and as much as Jungkook wants to spend time with you, he’s deathly tired. “Just tell her off.”

Jungkook frowns, snuggles closer until he’s so tightly pressed against your body that he can’t tell whose heartbeat is whose. He likes it like that.

There’s just something about your annoying best friend that activates this feeling in Jungkook’s chest. If anything, Jungkook imagines it is similar to that of having a bratty little sister. But Doyeon as his sister? He rolls his eyes so far back he swears he sees his own brain.

It’s childish and petty and unlike Jungkook — or at least, unlike the Jungkook he knows you think he is. Which is flattering, to be thought of so highly, but sometimes Jungkook wonders where on earth you got that idea from. Because whenever he’s around you, Jungkook becomes increasingly immature, grows so greedy and needy, desperate for anything you have to give him.

And because he’s so immature, he settles on tattling to you instead, “she called me a sweaty meat bag,” to which you snort in amusement.)

For now, he calls on the spirit of the most mature person he knows (Namjoon). Jungkook takes one last look at his millionth silver band of the day before turning to address the Wicked Witch of the West. “I might not know ___ like you do, but that’s fine,” he says calmly. “We’re gonna spend the rest of our lives together anyway.”

In front of him, Doyeon’s eye twitches and Jungkook senses he has won. For now. See, the thing is, Jungkook knows that using Namjoon-level logic against her is foolproof. For one, Namjoon’s logic is always solid. But also, as much as Jungkook despises Kim Doyeon with nearly every fiber in his being… ultimately, they share a common interest: cherishing you.

Had it not been for your existence in their lives, Jungkook doubts he would have ever spent his Saturday morning at a jeweler with the likes of Kim Doyeon, especially not after she had spent ten minutes in the Starbucks drive-thru ordering the most bizarrely complicated drink. But deep in his heart Jungkook knows that she loves you, though not as much as him, and he respects the fact she is willing to accompany him in the name of buying you a beautiful engagement ring. It’s a friendship solidarity he admires, and for that he stomps down his childish pride to answer in a way that would impress, well, you.

(Even when you’re not here, Jungkook always wants to impress you.)

At his side, Doyeon huffs. “I should’ve never taken ___ to that party.”

#networkbangtan #jungkook #jungkook fic #jeon jungkook #jeon jungkook fic #jjk fic #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x reader #bts fic #bts x reader #mine

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onewithnomightypowers · 3 years

Text

Girl At Home

pairing: Peter Parker x fem!reader

summary: Y/N and Peter are at a high school house party. They want to be together but can they? (sorry i suck at summary)

warning: underage drinking

words: 1.7k

a/n: this is my first peter parker fic so be kind. I was listening to ‘girl at home’ by taylor swift. I did not proof read it. also asks are open. (gif not mine)

masterlist

//don’t look at me, you’ve got a girl at home and everybody knows that//

Y/N had her hands intertwined with Brad’s as he rang the bell to a grand looking house. Music was leaking out of the walls. Flash opened the door and took Brad in for a hug. He dropped her hand to hug Flash back. “I’m so glad you could make it” Flash exclaimed.

“These are for you”, Y/N handed Flash a pack of six beer cans she was holding in her left hand.

“Thanks, Y/N”, Flash gave her a charming smile and let them in.

The house was packed with drunk and horny teenagers. Every corner was occupied by a pair, sloppily shoving their tongues down each other’s throat. Y/N scrunched her nose to the unsanitary site.

This was Y/N’s and Brad’s second date only. They had only gone out once before, after he came back from the Europe trip. The first time they met up, he only talked about how cool and amazing MJ is. She could sense that he was a bit hurt after the girl he liked a lot got together with a guy who he thought was very annoying. Y/N disagreed with that last statement.

Ever since she was a little kid she liked Peter. They were neighbours throughout middle school. But then Peter shifted five blocks away and they somewhat lost touch. Y/N didn’t go the Europe trip because there was still some instability in her home life after the blip. She had heard Peter and MJ got together. She was happy for him, really, or she convinced herself to be.

Brad and Y/N walked into the kitchen to get themselves a drink. Drake was playing on top volume.

“What do you wanna drink?” Brad who was walking ahead of Y/N turned his body to face her.

“Beer would be fine”, she replied with a smile. He nodded and walked ahead.

Someone tapped Y/N’s shoulder, she turned around to see it was, dropping Brad’s hand.

“Hey Ned” she hugged the teenager wearing an oversized Star Wars t-shirt.

“Hey Y/N, I haven’t seen you in sooo long”, he was excited to see her after almost a month.

“That is true, last I met you was at Betty’s birthday. You and Peter really stole the show with your amazing duet to ‘Shallow’. On that topic, where is he?” Y/N scanned the room behind Ned.

“He is here, somewhere”, the washroom next to her opened, “there he is.” Peter in a grey flannel came out and joined Ned. “Hey, Y/N”, he looked her in the eye. Before she could reply, Brad joined her.

“There you go babe”, he handed her a red plastic cup filled with beer, breaking the lock between Peter and Y/N eyes.

“We came here together”, Y/N said to ease Peter’s puzzled expression. His mouth formed an ‘o’ shape and he nodded.

“MJ didn’t come?” she asked. Before Peter could reply, Ned went on explaining how she had to babysit her aunt’s cat so she couldn’t make it.

“Come, I want you to meet some people”, Brad grabbed her hand and took her towards the sea of people dancing under the colour changing lights. Y/N looked back at Peter who was already looking at her as she was walking away.

After that, every time Y/N looked around her eyes would lock with Peter’s who had already been looking at her and had no shame to hide it. Every step she took she could feel his hot gaze following her.

The night carried on and Brad only got progressively drunk. He had a drink in his hand at all time. Maybe he was out of it but at one point, when they were making out, he accidentally called her MJ. She opened her eyes just to see Peter starring at Brad and her.

“I think we should stop, you’re drunk”, she said to Brad who was still an inch away from her.

“No I’m not” he leaned in to kiss her. She tried to step back but there was a wall behind her. “Well, I am”, an attempt to make him back away.

Out of somewhere Peter came next to them. “Hey, back off. She asked you to stop”, he placed his palm on his chest to push him away from her.

He looked down at Peter with annoyance. “Aren’t you happy with your girl that you’re here to steal my girl? Again.”

“MJ was never yours to steal” he had a stern face.

“Whatever dickwad” Brad walked away and passed out on a sofa in the living room.

“Are you fine?” Peter tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear that was covering her right eye. Y/N nodded looking at her feet, not wanting to meet his eyes.

“Do you want to dance?” Peter asked.

It was a fine proposition if she wouldn’t have noticed him constantly starring at her with something in his eye that she didn’t quite understand yet. She felt a responsibility to not return any advances he offered, he had MJ waiting for her at home. But she couldn’t help herself anyway.

“Sure”, she replied after careful consideration that she evidently ignored.

He grabbed her hand and led her towards the dance floor. America’s Top Rap music was mixed with laughter and hormones. She convinced herself that they were dancing just as friends. But Peter just kept getting closer and closer, with every beat, blurring the line between friends and…

She didn’t stop him from getting closer. Why would she? He was all she wanted ever since she first moved into the apartment adjacent to his, in middle school. Suddenly, Peter stopped dancing making her snap out of her trail of thought.

His hand started gliding her arms up to her shoulders. She tilted her head to the right, capturing his hand between her cheek and shoulder. She closed her eyes and breathed in the pheromones. He cupped her chin and leaned in.

Her stomach was in knots but there were butterflies too. She really wanted him, right here, right now but she couldn’t push the feeling of betraying the code of sisterhood, aside. Kissing him would mean hurting MJ.

Before she could say anything their lips crashed. He felt warm, like home. But the home was made of twigs and one misstep would cause its downfall.

He slid his tongue into her mouth, making her slightly moan. They shared intimacy in between hundreds of drunk fellows. They themselves intoxicated too. It was right and it was wrong.

Guilt finally got in the front seat. “What about MJ?” she broke off the kiss. He kissed her neck, she tighten her grip in his hair. “Peter?” she half moaned, half demanded for an answer.

“Let’s not think about her right now” he stated, travelling on wet kisses to her chest.

She gripped his hand and dragged him to a quiet, dark corner. “This is so much better, baby” he pushed her to the wall, knowing exactly what she liked.

This wasn’t their first kiss. When they were in their freshmen year, peter would see Y/N making out with guys against her locker in the school hallway, all the time. He hadn’t kissed anyone at that time but he really wanted to. One stupid night he texted her about his want to kiss someone, just for experience he said.

He always wondered what her mouth would taste like. He always wondered what it would feel like when she would call his name, out of breath. He always wondered what would happen if they ever were to be together.

So, with curiosity and needs, he asked her to be her first kissed and she agreed. They met in a dark alley behind Peter’s building. She knew exactly what she wanted and he knew exactly how much in love he was.

Unfortunately, things got awkward between them and they started distancing from each other. Both thought that the other didn’t like them at all so they never spoke up about their feelings and grew apart.

There was still all that old passion and love left in their heart for each other. Both of them could feel it in the moment.

Peter pined her hands above her head, giving him space to work her up. Every ‘oh’ that left her mouth was owned by him.

The feeling of delinquency was knocking her door but her hospitality was reserved for Peter’s touch. It kept knocking until it broke down the flood gate and swept her conscious.

“Aren’t you with MJ?” she pushed him back with a kiss.

“I don’t want her. I need you” their foreheads were touching, he was delicately rubbing her cheeks with his thumb. His eyes were busy finding her shy eyes.

“Don’t look at me like that”

“Like what?” he knew exactly what she was talking about.

“Like you would fight everyone in the room to be close to me. You have been giving me those eyes all night.”

A grin covered his face. “Darling, I did fight someone to be close to you”

“That’s what I’m saying, you shouldn’t. You have a girl at home waiting for you”

He said nothing. His smiling eyes kept moving from her lips to her eyes.

“I think you should call a cab and go to her. We will consider this lesson learned. I don’t want to be a home wrecker” she pushed him aside and started walking towards the door.

“Wait”, he clutched her wrist. She turned around, “what?”

“What if I tell you there is no one waiting up for me”

“What do you mean?” she walked closer to him.

“MJ and I broke up”, Peter confessed.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” she let out a sigh of relief in her head.

“I guess, I-I liked the thrill.” She was in Peter’s arms now.

Y/N chuckled. “Well then I hope you like this too”, she leaned in and kissed Peter understanding perfectly what this might lead to.

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babytaes · 3 years

Text

The Kickback

summary: What happens when your long-life crush's secret is discovered? In hopes of not wanting him to find out, what do you do... nothing.

pairing: dk x female reader

genre: fluff, slice of life, crack lol.

warnings: profanity

word count: 3k

a/n: today is my birthday and I wanted to share this one that has been in my drafts for so long. this campus life is stressful but I’m finding time to upload here and there. I hope you enjoy and have a great day/night. Much love from Babytaes! :) Also I really didn’t read this over sooo... if it doesn’t make sense. Take it up with corporation.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“Dear diary, I saw my crush today. I saw him in the living room after my brother invited him over with another friend. It's not as if I'm scared of him. I've spoken with him numerous times. I mean, I'm almost fluent in his language, lol. Seeing him and hearing his boisterous laugh was still entertaining. I'm wondering if he'll be at the kickback this weekend; if so, maybe I'll have the bravery to approach him. Okay, goodbye journal, love y/n.”

Your life consisted of short, insignificant interactions with him; however, when you had a crush, life was exciting and unpredictable. Since you're so near to him on a daily basis, your crush increased exponentially as you couldn't control your intrusive thoughts.

Yes, you did think of him, probably 25/8. It's not like you didn't know him, but you only knew the head version of him. And we all know they could be two different people. So the only thing left to do is keep it secret.

It's impossible for your secret to come out when you're the only one who knows about it. Right? Unfortunately, this isn't a movie, and your secret was revealed, and the perpetrator was none other than your arch-nemesis, Boo Seungkwan.

Okay, not quite that far, but you and him frequently collided because you and him could never agree on anything. He's just Boo, and he has his own behavior category.

He was the second-to-last person you wanted to find out about, after your crush, of course. From this point on, your life was not going as planned.

Your secret would never be revealed to Lee Seokmin, and you would do anything to protect it.

“What are you doing?” You leapt to your feet as you hurriedly closed your diary, terrified of prying eyes.

You rolled your eyes and stuffed your journal into a drawer with random papers, saying, "Shit, why don't you ever knock."

“Well, this is my shared dorm, and you're basically free living here,” he chuckled. You gave him a sidelong glance.

He was right.

“Is that a way you treat your twin? Is it now.”

He strolled away, completely oblivious to your yelling, and into the kitchen.

“Shut up, and get your ass out here we have to go shopping for the kickback. If you’re not out in 10 I’m leaving your ass.”

Great sibling love, what more could you ask for. As much as you know that this is the way he expresses his love, you still got up and started getting ready for the day despite his warning.

Amidst your constant disagreements with him, you still loved him. The only problem was that you had to keep your love interest hidden from him. You could see it now and the big brother trying to protect and all that annoying shit.

You were old enough to take care of yourself and you didn’t want unruly men to ruin something that you wanted for so long.

“Coming, if you leave me, I'll tell Mom.” And I think we can all agree that I am the favorite twin.” As he slammed the fridge door shut, you could hear his huge scoffs.

You hurriedly grabbed your purse and beanie as you dashed for the door, laughing at his tantrums. He had a habit of leaving you behind.

We will not speak of March 5, 2017.

“Hey, wait up,” you said as you ran to his car and jumped in before him, grabbing the aux before him.

He started the car and sped out of the dorm parking lot on his way to the store, saying, "You're such a pain in the ass."

“Oh, don't act as if you don't love me.”

“Whoever said I did must have lied to you. Mingyu laughed as he accelerated through Seoul's crowded streets.

The jokes, the laughter, and the love were all part of the experience of living with one of the biggest Kpop groups.

You wouldn’t have it any other way!

While listening to your playlist, the song "Come to You" perfectly complemented the mood.

You smiled as you passed many streets and watched the busy lives of many different people. You could say you had an imaginative mind.

We arrived at the store a long way down the road, grabbed one of the carts, and proceeded to a separate aisle of the store.

Buying stuff was always expensive with a party of 13 and more friends on the way. Almost everything had to be doubled, and the meat had to be tripled. When throwing a party, everyone is required to provide a dish.

You didn't seem to mind; after all, you weren't paying, so you just chilled on the cart while you watched Mingyu placed the goods in neatly.

You told Mingyu to grab a specific chip as you walked to the chip aisle, and he furrowed his brow.

“What are those? I've never seen them before.

"Dokyeom likes them," you blurted out without a second thought. As you mentally processed what you had said, you stared at him with wide eyes.

Shit.

“When they're not there, Dokyeom and Soonyoung get upset.” You shook your head and scooted by him, tossing two bags into the overflowing shopping cart.

“Oh-okay I guess you can get them.”

As you pushed the cart toward the cashier, you mentally slapped yourself in the face. You were certain that you would not crack.

The ride home was silent as the only noise was the continuous taps from Mingyu's fingers on the wheel.

Mingyu called wonwoo on his phone as he drove up to the dorm and asked him to help with the groceries.

As you heard Mingyu pout over the phone, he refused, and not even minutes after, wonwoo is strolling down the driveway on his way to the car.

“You shouldn't even have picked up I know I wouldn't" Wonwoo pushed your shoulder and chuckled at your humor. “I know”

“Heyyy I'm right here,” Mingyu began to sulk as he observed his sister speaking without him.

You and wonwoo both chuckled as you gathered your belongings and began walking away from Mingyu.

---

The days went by slowly as you reached the door. It was time to leave the house. You grabbed a jacket and purse. Today, the boys went to Hybe for a quick practice session before heading out for the weekend.

Because you are such a good friend and thoughtful person, you decided to buy them a few drinks as a gift. It wasn't anything special, you didn't want to see anyone, noo.

It took some time to order everything, especially with the large number of 13 items. Since you've known each other for most of your lives, the drinks on the list haven't changed. Ice Americanos and Frappes were the most popular drinks.

As soon as you arrived at the Hybe building, you swiftly grabbed the bag containing the drinks and proceeded to their floor. You finally made it to their practice room after thanking the employees for their assistance.

Slowly pushing the door open, you drew the attention of almost everyone as they turned to face you. As a number of them raced over to you and took the beverages from you, smiles crept across their faces.

As they sipped their drinks, the room was filled with thank yous and hellos.

The voice of an angel said, "Thanks again, y/n." He gave you a short smile before returning to his practice. Oblivious to people around you, words spilled out.

“Fuck, he's so attractive.”

“Whose good looking?” As you slowly turned around, you heard a voice speaking to you from behind you.

Fuck

It's Boo Seungkwan. He smiled at you as he grabbed a drink from your hand. He cocked his head as he sipped it, and his eyes widened.

“Don’t tell me you said dokyeom is good looking, no fucking way.”

As you coughed to relieve the high tension in the air, you started to mentally sweat.

“That's insane, I said the room was in good condition," you said as you slapped his shoulder and shook your head.

Come on, y/n, that didn't even make sense.

“You know you're not going to fool me, y/n?” Afraid that someone would find out, you dragged him into a back room and locked the door behind him

“Shit..shit..shit. If you tell anyone, I swear I'll -

Laughing, before raising his eyebrows after taking a sip of his americano, he cut you off.

"You're right, this is important information. But you already know that I'll keep my mouth shut about the situation. I don’t even know what we’re talking about right now.”

Seungkwan heard dokyeom announce that practice had resumed as the door opened. Before he left, he smiled at you and waved goodbye.

“Y/n and dokyeom in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. As you were about to leap across the couch to silence him, he jumped up and ran out of the door laughing.

All of a sudden, your mind was filled with confusion and paranoia.

It became increasingly difficult to watch them practice as the session progressed. Your thoughts were not positive, and your attitude was slowly deteriorating.

Imagining the worst-case scenario. You paced in the back room when you heard a knock at the door. As you mentally prepared yourself, it caught you off guard. While walking side by side, Hansol and Seungkwan were whispering.

“Did they know?” You didn’t want anyone to find out so you ran, and didn’t stop running. To avoid society, you hurried out the door after saying a quick goodbye to the boys.

The goodbyes were not even heard as you hurried out of the Hybe parking lot without looking back. In a small group, information spreads quickly. And he was bound to find out.

Flushed and worried, you staggered into the dorm room. You knew your secret was going to get out eventually. In the case where Hansol and Seungkwan knew, Joshua is likely to know.

And since Joshua is close to the older boys, Seungcheol and Jeonghan know. The news would then spread to Hoshi, and then the entire performance team would be in the know.

The only remaining candidates are Mingyu and dk. If Mingyu finds out, it's game over for you at that point.

There was no point of living any more. Having completed a full loop of the house, you had come to your room for the final time. You slowly melted to the ground and fell out.

Dokyeon is more likely to know if Mingyu knows.

"What went wrong?" Unable to control yourself as you rolled around the floor, you erupted into a tantrum.

You sat up and shook your head, "I'll just have to leave the country," you said. "Man, you're so smart. Your plan y/n is fantastic."

You ran to your room, grabbed your suitcase from your closet, and began tossing things into.

No need to pack everything since you were only going to be gone for a year. As soon as your adrenaline slowed down, you began packing.

(A few hours later)

You were relieved when your clothes fit into your luggage when you had finally done packing. You were on your way now, and as long as it wasn't here, everything was good.

“Ah, I figured it out; now let's book it.”

When you approached the door, you unlocked it, and we were greeted with a pleasant surprise.

You walked up to the door and opened it, where you were greeted by Mingyu and his gang. Outside the door, you could see him, hao, dk, and wonwoo. They stared at you as they looked you up and down, perplexed as to why you appeared to be departing.

“Um, what is going on and where are you going?” Mingyu reacted with a rejoinder of his own.

Your throat felt as though it was clogging up, and you began sweating furiously under your armpits. Thank god for hoodies.

“Well, I was simply going to visit a friend's house,” you explained.

You knew he wouldn't believe you; he knew most of your friends, and they didn't live that far away for you to be carrying that much.

“First, that's a lie, and second, I need to speak with you, so your "buddy" will have to wait.” You sighed and closed your eyes.

Your escape had to wait.

Mingyu took your suitcase and slid it near the door, while the other members shuffled awkwardly into the room. While the other lads sat in the living room, Wonwoo went to his room.

“Maybe I could escape now?”

“What did you say y/n?” minghao said as he glanced at you.

You waved your hand in front of them and did a walk of shame to your room as you physically and mentally prepared yourself for whatever Mingyu had to say.

So much for your crush now.

Mingyu sat on the edge of your bed, arms crossed, staring at you.

“Sit down, he patted the bed on your side before lightly coughing.

"Some rumors have been going around, so I wanted to clear the air."

Seeing what he was about to say made your heart race, and you couldn't take it any longer. Does anyone else hear their loud banging, could Mingyu hear it?

You leapt to your feet and shouted at him before apologizing on your knees.

What a sight to see, a grown ass woman on her knees apologizing to her twin brother.

“I apologize; I should have told you first, but I was afraid you'd tell him. That's why I kept it a secret and plus dating a member of seventeen. That's dangerous enough-“.

Mingyu's "WHAT" cut you off.

You came to a halt as he got up, slowly staring up at him.

“Wait, weren't we discussing my crush on Dokyeom or something else?” Worries began to creep in as sweat began to accumulate on your brow.

“What the fuck, you have a crush on do-?” you exclaimed as you jumped to your feet and tackled Mingyu to the ground.

“Don't say it so loudly; he'll hear you.” As Mingyu began to pace around the room, as he pushed you off of him.

You could see his anger as he panicked, and his small rage tantrum was truly uncomfortable because he couldn't communicate his ideas to you because he was afraid of his companions' sensitive ears.

He pointed to the door and said, "Wait, so you do have a crush on him." You sighed, shaking your head.

As he walked away from you, he had another outburst.

Everything is now turning to shit, this was your only chance.

“I have to escape” you said as you dashed out the door and to your suitcase. Mingyu was standing behind you, staring at you in terror.

It wasn't in the plan for you to fall on him, but it was still nice. Focus y/n.

“I’m sorry, dokyeom; it was my fault. I didn't realize you were there. “Are you okay?” As you extended your hand to him, you pushed yourself off of him.

“Yeah, I'm OK, are you okay?” he asked. You've had quite a tumble.”

“Yeah I’m good, I live with a clumsily brother so I’m fine”

“Hey!"

You swiftly let go of each other and placed your hands behind your back as you became embarrassed.

“Hey, Seungcheol texted the group chat and said he wants to go out to eat. He said whoever can come.”

The boys instantly got ready as they wanted to eat, food is a great scapegoat. As you saw them exit the dorm, you took a step back and found your way back to your room.

“Is leaving still an option?” you murmured into your pillows, plopping your exhausted body on your bed and overthinking life.

---

You rolled over and looked at the clock, which reads 9:30 a.m.

You turned over in your bed, unable to yell, and trudged to the bathroom to make yourself presentable.

“What have you gotten yourself into, y/n?” You stripped off your clothing and stepped into the hot water after turning on the shower.

You didn't spend much time in the shower, but today you were engrossed in how your plan had devolved into this ordeal.

Resting your head on the tile as the hot water traced down your back, you contemplated on what the HELL you were going to do.

*BANG BANG*

“Y/n hurry up, we have to prepare.”

Hearing Mingyu's voice drew you back to reality as you turned off the water and got out of the shower, unlocking the door and letting him in.

“Hey, no snarky remark?” he said as he watched you walk to your room with your head down. You ignored him as you closed the door and prepared for the party.

It didn't take long for your calm disposition to be noticed, since you were the outspoken one. Even if you tried to fake it, it didn't work out.

You grinned as you walked through the background of Seungcheol and Jeonghan shared housing, looking at the celebration.

There were groups of people near the pool, at the grill, and even by the chairs, as you could see.

“Hey, bring the food inside; I'll take the meat to cheol,” mingyu said, shaking your head as you picked up the bags and headed to the kitchen, where you recognized some familiar faces.

“Y/nnnnnnnnn, heyyyyy, I’ve missed you.” When you saw her, you put the bags on the counter and hugged her, smiling into her embrace.

“It's great to see you again, yeji; how are you and the rest of the group doing?” Are the others here?” As she led you back outside, she interlaced your hands in hers.

You saw dokyeom and a few other people descend the steps before you left, as he waved and gave you a quick glance.

As you reach for a drink from the cooler, your heart begins to race. Something had to be turned off if you wanted to make it through the night, and this was the only way.

You took a sip and coughed loudly as you followed Yeji to the poolside.

It was going to be a long night for you.

---

As you and a group of individuals began to dance uncontrollably, the effects of the alcohol in your system began to show as you staggered to the grill.

“HeEeeyyYY, Wheeeere d'ya think yeeeeer goin’?” you slurred, jabbing a finger into seungcheol’s back

The other members laughed as they glanced at you, plainly detecting your intoxication.

“I forgot how drunk you can get, so why don't you take a break,” your overprotective brother says, making you scream within.

He always did this.

Gerroff me!” you said. “I’m ash sober ash ’m gonna git. And nuffink I - wait wait wait - nuffink you can do ‘boutit.” As you ambled back to the kitchen without so much as a hiccup in their direction, they laugh.

As you struggled to reach the door, you fell forward and were grabbed by a hand. As he lifted you from your imminent doom, his hold felt warm. With your eyes enlarged, you focused on the individual and stared at his face.

As you grabbed on to him, your words tumbled out of your mouth, “Ohmygoshimsosorry.” He drew you closer to him by taking your hands in his.

Saying your heart was racing was an understatement, it was literally pounding out of your chest. You were hand in hand with your crush, who you believed was exceptionally attractive and talented, and you wished he knew more about your sentiments or could somehow fill them.

But you know no huge idol like him would go for you. Feeling that made you sober up real fast as you felt your arm being pulled upstairs, you had no idea where you were going but it looked like someone's room.

Dokyeom eased open the door as he sat you on the bed and went to get some water from a little fridge. He handed it to you and sat next to you.

“Thanks”

“No problem, also I've been trying to talk to you all night but you appear to be occupied.”

As you took a sip of water, your heart began to beat faster; “waitttt, we donthavetotalk. Let’s dance! As he chuckled at your erratic movements, you began to wander around the room, pulling your hands into yours.

The alcohol was definitely making its way out of your system.

As he spun you around, his body in tune with the music, the bass of the song could still be heard. Even though this felt like a dream you didn’t quite care at the moment. Was it because you'd finally met the boy from your dreams, or was it because he wanted to meet you in person?

Your connection with him got stronger by the second, as did your heartbeat, which began to rise steadily with it. You couldn't keep stalling any longer; you needed to listen to what he was saying.

“I think I'm sober up for now,” you said as you let go of his hand.

Dokyeom chuckled before tossing his head back, “I didn't realize you could move like that” he said as they sat back on the bed, a little closer than before.

“I guess I learnt a few things along the way when you're friends with the best dancers out here.” As you finished your sentence, he peered into your eyes, making no sound as the room fell silent.

“Soo, what did you want to talk about?” you awkwardly state to relieve some tension in the air.

“I don't know how to explain it, but I kind of heard your "secret" as it passed through the practice room, and I simply wanted to be the first one to tell you about it because-

Your heart stopped pounding as your world came crashing down around you. You didn't want to hear it; the rejection; you'd rather live in your fantasy world, where you don't have to worry about anything. It wasn't true if you didn't hear it.

“Wait, if you can't reconcile those feelings, don't say anything; just let me go.” They're probably curious about our whereabouts anyway.” And with that, you stood up and walked towards the door, but you were pulled back by his hand.

He kissed you as swiftly as his hands linked with yours. You were taken aback at first by his passion, but you regained your calm and reminded yourself of what was going on: he was really kissing you, and you were really kissing him, and the rest of the world was inconsequential.

You were chilling on the outside while shouting for joy at the top of your lungs on the inside, as if your inner child had been set free. You had to be sure if this was a dream or if it was happening in real life.

“Ouch”

“Why did you do that?” Dokyeom asked as he gripped your arm in his.

“I had to double-check that I wasn't dreaming; this isn't the first time something like this has happened to me.”

“So you're saying I've been in your dreams?” he laughed as he cocked his head to the side and placed his hand in yours.”

You smacked your forehead and shook your head, realizing you couldn't get out of this one, and now he knew you fantasize about him. You didn't mind because the lad of your dreams was right in front of your eyes.

AND HE WAS HOLDING YOUR MF HAND. It was clear that your diary needed to be updated.

Stopping at the door, you placed your palm on his chest and worriedly stared at him.

“Wait, how did you find out?”

“Well, a tiny birdie was chattering loudly about it, his name rhymes with coo,” he said as he grabbed your hand in his and opened the door and began the walk downstairs.

“Fucking Boo Seungkwan”

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