Not now please I'm busy rotting in bed

the sillies, (they are my new hyperfixation so bare w me)

Am I self projecting? maybe..

uh, also, this comment gave me the inspiration so uh, yayay!!

adhd!sans by: @/gudulle_vinyls (on tiktok)

anxiety!sans by: @hheisa

Anxiety was useful as an evolutionary tool millions of years ago but now that I don’t have to worry about being hunted it’s just really annoying. My fight or flight response does not need to be triggered every time I talk to women

*Trembles intensely*

I hate that I'm considered "high functioning". I barely qualify for any "level" of disability in my country and I will never get a disability income. Yes. I'm able to go to work. But I will not be able to hold it for more than a few months before getting burned out and having daily meltdowns. No, having 10 minutes extra work break won't help me. Neither will wearing headphones or carrying fidgets. I'm literally not able to work 40h a week without severe negative consequences... How do i fucking exist in this society!

First request! But could you make a Vox x reader that has Anxiety? :3 Thank you!!

A/N: as a person with severe anxiety, I love this idea 🫶 / First request omg?? 😭

Tw: Anxiety, Overthinking, panic attack, Violence, Valentino (Bros his own warning 😒 I hate that mf sm), Sexual harassment, not proofread.

————

“I love you.” Vox x Reader

Part 2 💝

You hummed, Looking through the books on the bookshelf of the hellish library. The shelf’s laced with dust from the lack of interaction. Soon, a book caught your keen eye.

“Overlords for Dummies.” You raised a brow, deciding to open it and scan through the small letters printed into the frail yellow stained paper. Your eyes darted through the length of the page before coming across your Boyfriends name. Your eyes locked onto the word, a soft smile curling onto your delicate lips as you thought of you lover before returning to reading the book. Eventually, you got bored of the book and decided to put it back along with the other dusty and unused books. Deeming the information useless as you already knew all of it. Walking out of the library and opening the doors to see the all too familiar red sky of hell, You wondered what heaven looked like, not that you really cared you were just curious. You walked down the sidewalk peacefully, ignorant demons walking down on the opposite way or the way you were going, all annoyed or picking a fight with eachother which you were used to. Finally, you reached halfway to the VVV tower, your secret home as Vox didn’t want anyone knowing about y oh relationship just yet, worried that it would only put you in danger. And Alastor of course. You walked into the doors of the famous tower only to be met with Valentino. The lust overlord, which you didn’t really like, along with the word of Vox, you avoided only to come face to face to him. He stared down at you, a grin forming on his face before he spoke.

“Ah, Who might you be Cariño? Arnt you just… a pretty little thing.” He spoke in a husky tone, taking your hand and licking it with pink saliva trailing down your small arm as you cringed and looked away uncomfortably. “U-um.” You stuttered, unable to come up with an answer. “Are you looking for work baby? I could make you a star… both of us richer then well.” He slurred with lust in his eyes as you quickly snapped out of your trance and pulled your arm away from him, gulping at the overlords now annoyed expression before he harshly grabbed you face and tried pulling you in for a kiss, licking his lips in anticipation before you pushed him away, tears brimming at your waterline before you darted away, running in whatever direction he wasn’t going.

*You heaved for air, tears already have been spilling from your eyes violently when you were running before. Your back slid on the wall when you sat down, dragging your knees to your chest in your crying state. You began to sob more violently, overthinking that Vox was deem you as a cheater and throw you away for being touched by another man, especially his friend! Or atleast that’s what you thought they were. You didn’t care. “Fuck! No no! I can’t loose him.. what if he hates me?” You gasped for air clutching your chest as your lungs gave out. You coughed and choked on your own tears. “Please no” you chanted out. “I don’t want him to leave me, no please. I don’t want to be left alone. What if he saw? What if I’m in the wrong?” Your eyes began to get blurry to more you cried, as if they weren’t producing tears to flood an entire canyon. Your head felt fuzzy, a headache forming already before you passed out from the lack of oxygen.

You gasped awake, sitting up instantly, your hand flying up to your aching head. Wait where are you? You looked around, noticing you were no longer in the alleyway you were in before. Wait what happened..? Before you could think, someone hugged you tightly. “Oh fuck! Your awake I’m so fucking glad! Are you alright sweetheart? My love? Darling? How are you feeling? Are you hurt anywhere?” You recognized the familiar voice to be Vox, your Boyfriend. “Vox..?” He was nuzzled into your neck before looking up at you with what looked like to be tears. “Yes my love?” He asked with a small sniffle. “What happened?” Vox looked at you before answering. “I don’t know, I was in my office before I saw you on the cameras running while crying so I went to go find you. I’ve been meaning.. to ask who hurt you?” He questioned, his expression still worried but the look in his eyes made you shiver, you knew he was pissed on the inside. “I-..” you stuttered over your words, you didn’t want to ruin Valentino’s relationship with Vox, especially since there were sort of friends in their own way. “Darling please… I won’t be mad I promise my sweet girl.” He comforted you calmly. No.. your acting selfish, but what if your right? Wait what if your wrong and he leaves you? The voices tore you apart. Your thoughts getting more intense as you overthought more about the outcome of your next move. Before you could think about it anymore Bix noticed something on your arm, your sleeves was rolled up with left over salvia from hours before when Valentino licked you. You looked down at Vox as he gently took your wrist in his clawed hand, the look on his digital face changed, now into more violent expression, it scared you. “V-Vox it’s no-“ he cut you off. “I know Baby. Was this Valentinos doing? Did he t-t-t-touch y-y-you?” He glitched. That was not a good sign. “I’m sorry Vox! I didn’t mean to run into him he grabbed me before I could walk away I was just trying to get back into our room I’m sorry please don’t leave me I didn’t know he was the-“ Once again, Vox cut you off with a kiss on your forehead. “Sweetheart. This is not your fault okay? Stop worrying and get some sleep my sweet girl.” You looked at him, hugging him before he later you back down and covered you with a blanket and his jacket to comfort you further before he gave you one final kiss on your nose before walking away, rolling up his sleeves as he did so. You closed you eyes and feel asleep quickly as your woke up, not seeing how deathly angry Vox had became.

“Cut, cut, cut! What the fuck was that?!” Valentino yelled at the “star”. The worker babbling excused before the door burst open, almost blowing the door off its hinges with a furious Vox glaring deathly at Valentino.

Vox glitched violently as he intently glared at Valentino, Valentino’s face turning a bit pale.

“M̵̡͊͊̃̐͗̄Y̴̼͖̣͋ ̸̨͕̦͙̝͙̣̎͂́͛͘̕F̶̢̱͎̭̙͑͋͊-̴̡̧͖̤̠̘̹̀̒̾̋)̸̘͗͛̍̀̚$̸̧͕̘͕͓̪͑̎͆͑͊͜—̴͖̩̟̫͐̂͆͆̕͘Ǘ̶͇̅͛͐̾̍͒͌̏̏͜ͅU̵͇̩̭̥͍̘͈͗̋͗̌̌̐͠ͅŲ̴͖̘̞̼̬̣͔̺̾!̴͓̼̦̟̺͔͇͙̔̐̔͒̍͌́̎̚͝’̶̛͉̰̭͖̝̈͊̎͐n̶̡̨̛͎̹̯̱̕C̸͈̳̆̒̇K̴͕̺̦̎͊̑Ì̴͈̱̘̹̣̜̍̏̔͐̆̀̕͘N̸̗͎̄̅̓̀͘C̸͎͊̂ ̵̘̫̙̥͉̑͂̔̌͌̀͐͌Ǫ̴̥̖͈̯̂̐̈́̕-̷̹̺͑̄͊̒̔̕F̶̙͙̫̭̰̼͈̘̳͕̀͐̚F̶͈͍̟̦̤͓̞̗͛͑͐͋̐͆̅̽̚͘ͅ$̶̬̥͉̋̓̍̈͆̄̀͠ͅ)̷̛͉͓͉̀̔͒̉̍̅$̶̭̣̲̥̫̓̌̓̋—̵͓̗̬͋̓̒̚C̶̨͍̟͉̳̠̹̀͒̽͜͠͝ͅĘ̵͓̌̀̅̊̇ ̴̟̌̿́́͊͘N̴͙̖̳͋͑̾̈̈́̈́̈̀͗Ő̸̗̅͊̊̅̈͌͠6̷̡̧̩͙̳̂̍͆–̸̧͈͇̬̣̯̭̖̀̋̀̊̋̋̀̐͐ͅ7̷̪̦͋W̴̨͔̟͂̈́̈́̏̀̓̀͂͑͠.”

(“My fucking office now”)

…

“shit.”

When does this suffering end?

I'm so tired...I can't take much more.

𝕯𝖊𝖎𝖒𝖔𝖘

by Dragan Bibin

Dragan is the quiet painter of the absence and the dread. He achieves this by involving the spectator into the calm and isolated regions of the characters or places he depicts. With his work, Dragan is able to present ordinary reality in a suggestive, yet questionning manner, giving a sense of something unsettling happening behind the scenes. Animals are often present in his works. Through them he is exploring our struggles, fears and anxieties. His eerie interiors, doors open on black nothingness and expectant animals are all playing with our fears and our nightmares.

bio and pic source: https://www.draganbibin.com/

I don't want to try anymore. Its like "whats even the point?" Nothing is ever going to work. Im never going ro get better. To be better. I've been trying so hard to get better, to not let my mind control me, but just when I think things are starting to improve I snap and end up right back where I started. Nothing is ever going to get better. I'm a lost cause. I'm too broken. I have too many problems. But it's all my own fault anyway. I wouldn't have any problems if I just tried harder. I wouldn't have an eating disorder if I just ate. I wouldn't have anxiety if I didn't dwell on the future. I wouldn't have depression if I didn't dwell on the past. The solution is to just be in the present. I don't seem like I have autism so it's probably not even real. I should just be normal. I just need to be better. It's not that difficult. I wouldn't be exhausted from trying to fix my problems if I didn't create them to start with. I don't have trauma, I'm just overreacting. Nothing even happened. I should stop wasting everyone's time telling them about my problems. I should tell them I'm better then leave so they don't have to deal with me anymore.

anxiety traps me within my own mind and tears me apart quietly

Too relatable.

I'm sorry, I just didn't think you could hurt me that much.

nervous system? Dude, all my systems are nervous.