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bewitchingivy · 1 year

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WHAT HAPPENS BEFORE YOU MEET YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE // pick a card

Hey, lovely souls! I hope you're all doing well~♡ In this new PAC, we're going to uncover what's going to happen before your future spouse comes into your life, to give you some little hints~hehe. Maybe the events mentioned in the piles is happening to you now, who knows?

methods used in this reading: tarot, intuition.

࿐ DISCLAIMERS:

Tarot or any forms of divination is not set in stone. It’s not your only future, but a probable one with the current energy you have right now. If a reading doesn’t resonate, simply let it fly away and shift your energy. Because you can change your reality, and you have the undeniable power to do so.

Please keep in mind that my readings are for entertainment, positive, or inspirational purposes only. Please don’t take them as a professional or medical advice. Any actions or decisions taken are your responsibility.

The images I use in my blog are not mine unless I say so. The pictures belong to their respectful owners.

Now choose one (or more) of the latest releases from my top 5 favorite artists!

PILE ONE / lavender haze - acoustic version by taylor swift

Greetings to the people who chose the first pile! Lovely to have you here <3

What we have in the cards here is that you will have some sort of recognition, achievement, or success before you meet your future spouse. Why am I strongly getting a graduation of some sort? The people who chose this pile are probably studying in college or highschool. There's going to be a celebration that your friends and family will have for you. At this time, you're going to receive a lot of praise and recognition. I'm also seeing that there's something spiritual happening after that, it's like you're going to have some spiritual transformation. You're going to grow spiritualy. Lastly, we have the Fools card here which tells me that after all this achievements and growth in your life, you're going to take a short break or vacation even for just a little while. Like a month or something. You will do a lot of self care and reflection at that time, and then you'll be ready to start new beginnings. And this new beginning coming your way? That's when you'll meet your future person <3

signs, confirmations, messages; a white dog (like a husky?), 444, clover leafs, going to a cafe, kdrama, tarot, yes, you're not late.

Thank you for allowing me to read for you ♡ I'm sending much love and light your way and to your loved ones! — Ivy Feel free to send me a feedback and check out my masterlist for more!

PILE TWO / say yes to heaven by lana del rey

Hi there! To you who chose pile two, I hope you're doing well!

So to begin your reading, this is somehow related to the first pile, since your first cards are the six of wands. Both piles are going to achieve some success. You'll definitely get some attention from this, I'm getting that this achievement of yours is like, going to attract a lot people's attention. For some of you, I'm getting that this is a career that you've always wanted to have, and now you got it. But here's the thing, not all people are going to have good intentions. There's going to be someone from your past, at first I was getting an ex friend, but some of you could have an ex lover too. You no longer talk with this person, but then when you've achieved this success of yours, they're going to be like, out of nowhere, “Hi! Congratulations, I'm really happy for you.” Which to me, guys, I'm sorry, but I will say that those are just lies. I'm mostly just getting that they'll be jealous of you, and they'll want to start over with you again just because you have this career or whatever success you'll have. You will notice this though. And though you still might care for them, and a part of you wants to start over your relationship, you will be disappointed to see that they still haven't change for the better and then you will eventually decide that you're not going to rekindle the fire you had with them. You're going to decide that it's over, like ever. (WEEEEEE!! ARE NEVEREVEREVERGETTINGBACKTOGETHER-) Ahem. Anyways, that's great. I'm proud of you already that you're going to do that. Because you'll need to kick this person's ass out of your life so your future spouse can knock on your door already.

I didn't got any more signs/confirmations for you, pile two!

Thank you for allowing me to read for you ♡ I'm sending much love and light your way and to your loved ones! — Ivy Feel free to send me a feedback and check out my masterlist for more!

PILE THREE / rush! by måneskin

Hello to you who has chosen the third pile~♡ I hope you're doing well!

Before meeting your future spouse, you will face some sort of decision whether you should leave or stay in a relationship. I'm really sorry to hear this, guys, but this person has/is going to give you pain. You put your hopes for this person only for them to disappoint you. I'm mostly seeing this is a romantic relationship, but for some of you it could be a friendship or a family member. But if it is a romantic relationship, it's going to be long distance. And for some of you, I'm just getting this, that it's not really a relationship but more like a situationship. Let me tell you some hints about this person; they have strong water placements and one of their hobbies is artistic. You're going to take a lot of time thinking and considering whether you should leave or not (this could involve some travelling/moving to another country as well.) It seems like you will be confuse what to decide. But since we have the Page of Wands as the last card, this strongly tells me you're going to choose to leave this relationship/situation behind even if it breaks your heart. But you have to do it for what's good for you and this person. And indeed it is, I mean, come on, your future spouse is on their way to you after this!

signs, confirmations, messages; ships, ocean, living near some large body of water (like a lake, river, beach, etc), 222, 47, april, grow and evolve, secret garden by frances hodgson burnett.

Thank you for allowing me to read for you ♡ I'm sending much love and light your way and to your loved ones! — Ivy Feel free to send me a feedback and check out my masterlist for more!

PILE FOUR / francesca by hozier

Hey there! If you've chose pile four, well, lemme say I totally relate to your reading HAHAH- nevertheless, I hope you're staying hopeful for the future! ♡

So let me clarify some things first, if you're somehow being held back by authoritative figures or more like, parents, then this is your pile. If you don't resonate with this, you can choose another pile. So! Oh, man. I'm feeling very tired and drained after tapping into your energy. You will be feeling this way before meeting your FS. So first, you're going to begin a new. chapter in your life. After feeling caged up or something, you're finally going to decide to take matters into your own hands and do the things in order for you to live your desired life. You're definitely going to do this, I have no doubt that you're going to manifest your desired life. You're also going to be working a lot on yourself, improving yourself to be better, doing shadow work, self care, and all the like. However! There's one problem here. You've let your parents have power over you. That's completely understandable, I'm with you, guys, and I'm still working on my situation myself. But you have to realize that you shouldn't let them affect you anymore. You're your own person. It could be that you're afraid to disappoint them or whatever, but it could also be that your parents are pretty judgemental and you're afraid to be judged by them if you do choose to pursue your dreams and desires. This will lead you to feeling restricted and held back again. You'll start being afraid to move towards your future. However, I definitely see here that someone will be coming towards your life at this time to help you get through this. And who's this person going to be? YOUR FS. AAAACK AHSISHAKSJSHSG

signs, confirmations, messages; 111, life path 8, connect with your inner child, be gentle to yourself, your fs is going to be someone you'll have a crush on first.

Thank you for allowing me to read for you ♡ I'm sending much love and light your way and to your loved ones! — Ivy Feel free to send me a feedback and check out my masterlist for more!

PILE FIVE / being funny in a foreign language by the 1975

The people who have chosen pile five are the chosen ones. LMFAO, yeah if your life would be a story, your trope would be the chosen one. Anyways! It's nice to have you here, chosen ones.

Okay, so what I'm getting here is that you guys are going to be working very hard about something. You're putting a lot of effort into this thing, or it could be your relationships around you too. It can be literally anything. Just anything that you're going to put a lot of effort and work, to the point that you'll forget about yourself. You're somehow overworking yourselves at this time, guys. I'm also sensing there's some unhealthy attachment or obsession over this particular thing. Please, take care and look after yourselves. But then, I see here that there's going to be some sort of epiphany or an aha moment right after, guys. It seems like someone's going to give you some advice, or a very harsh truth that you need to know. And it will make you pause and think about what you've been doing and all the efforts you gave to this certain thing the whole time. It's definitely going to hurt and hard to accept. But you will know that it's the truth. You're going to feel like you will lose everything. Lemme give you an example; you've taken a liking to someone and you'd really want to be with them, but then you put all your efforts to become the person you're not just for them to like you and you're giving all your time and energy to that person only for them to tell you one day that they don't share your feelings. Been there, done that 🙋🏻‍♀ But that's okay, guys. Because right along the harsh truth, is a new beginning. You're going to have the courage to begin again and you're taking the lessons you've learned and become more wiser and braver than before, ready to learn more about life. After that phase, you're going to meet your person <3

I haven't got any signs/confirmations for you, pile five!

Thank you for allowing me to read for you ♡ I'm sending much love and light your way and to your loved ones! — Ivy Feel free to send me a feedback and check out my masterlist for more!

#bewitchingivy #pick a pile #pick a card #free tarot readings #tarot #tarot reading #intuitive reading #divination #pac #witchblr #tarot community #general tarot reading #witch community #love reading #relationships #future spouse

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prince-liest · 2 months

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I’m a sex-repulsed ace, and reading the latest chapter of 666 (as well as your analysis here on Tumblr) made me realize that I have been subconsciously thinking about MY OWN sexuality from an allo perspective? And that it has kinda been messing me up?? Like, ever since I learned that sexual attraction was actually a Thing and that it’s Important To People, I had been carrying around a fear of being deficient in some way and not being able to love to the same extent as allos. (1)

Even though I know logically that’s complete garbage and totally untrue, I felt left out of the loop because people seemed to care strongly about this thing I couldn’t even imagine. Whenever it looked like a relationship might happen I panicked for a reason that I couldn’t understand. But now I’m starting to realize that it’s because I was subconsciously terrified of an ‘ulterior motive’ behind the other person’s reasons for wanting to be with me. (2) That part of the reason they even cared was because of something I don’t experience. So thank you, because this realization just clicked into place while reading your work. The thing is, this way of thinking was just internalized in such a way that I didn’t even realize it was there until literally this week. And I think you’re right; one of the main reasons behind that is because I’ve always consumed media written from an allo perspective. (3) If ace/aros are shown at all, they’re depicted as “lacking” and their character development usually revolves around being “fixed” by the story. When I was ~10 years old my mom sometimes let me watch the Big Bang Theory with her (looking back, maybe not the best decision). Anyways, there was one episode deep into the series where Sheldon (who for the past nineish seasons was probably the closest thing to mainstream ace rep) has sex with his girlfriend for the first time. (4) Afterwards, he says something along the lines of “that was better than I thought it would be”, and it’s presented as a Very Good Thing and a big step in their relationship. I think a lifetime of stuff like that makes it very easy to internalize aphobia and feel like the lesser part of the relationship. Or to feel like the other partner is making a huge sacrifice to be with you. That got wayy too long, sorry. All that was just a lot of words to say that I appreciate you. Take care of yourself!(5)

The portrayal of asexuality that you see in media being almost exclusively as you described is very tedious to me because it presumes that something is inherently lacking in aro/aceness rather than that feeling of "lacking" being something that is induced by societal norms. Actually, one of the things that I find additionally alienating is that fandom spaces specifically have been getting better and better about ace characters - but got damn does fandom not jive with aromanticism. Like, a character doesn't want to fuck? That's becoming a liiiittle more fine, it's 2024, we stan consent. But not shipping someone romantically?? Not so easy, now.

I'm glad that my work has been something that resonated with you in this respect! Alastor cares a lot about his reputation as a demon but is pretty blatantly a person who could not possibly give less of a shit about being "wrong" for not being experiencing romantic or sexual attraction. The explanation Viv gave at one point for his own understanding of himself (that he thinks he's just "waiting for the right woman") actually stuck out to me a lot because it's a very "well, nothing is wrong with me for not feeling anything, it's the world that's failed to produce a suitable person" perspective.

But having that kind of confident perspective of your own rightness in the world is really not often portrayed in media, or even in fandom, which even ten years ago was still in the throes of standardizing "Oh, no! Me, gay? These feelings are so wrong!" style m/m content and is honestly not that far off from essentially that for aro/ace characters.

Anyway, all of that is to say that there's not yet much out there that doesn't frame allo/amatonormative values as the default that "even aro/ace people can (and should want to) achieve," and that it's really fun to write a fic that is unequivocally from the perspective of a character who is aroace and doesn't see it as even remotely a fault in himself. Does he have moments where he's a little confused and trying to process how things fit for him? Absolutely. But he just doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who thinks he owes romance to Vox of all people, hahaha. I've written him trying to conform to allo/amatonormativity more with Mimzy, because I think the social standards of their time could push him into it, but Vox? Absolutely not, he does not respect Vox enough for it to even enter his mind.

And then, on the other hand, writing it from an aroace perspective centers the way that romantic and sexual interest can feel like a betrayal of a good thing. With a character like Alastor, it frames romantic and sexual attraction the same alien way that we usually see aromanticism and asexuality framed as.

In the end, this is just one of a plethora of different experiences that aro/ace people can have, but it's one that I really wanted to see represented more, so I'm very happy to write it. I'm glad that you're enjoying it!

#ask #personal #Anonymous #long post #t #aroace #ace #he cares about Vox at this point!#but that's. not really the same as respecting him.#anyway this next chapter is important to me because it's very #how do I put this #“this was okay at the moment but that doesn't mean he's okay with it overall and forever”#“and it does not mean that they've 'progressed' their relationship to the point where Alastor being aroace is a 'nonissue'”#“(feat. ofc the heavy implication that it was an issue in the first place)”#ANYWAY. SOMETIMES I HAVE A HARD TIME EXPRESSING THIS IN NON-FIC WORDS #SO HOPEFULLY THE FIC AS IT CONTINUES SPEAKS FOR ME. I AM GLAD THAT IT HAS SPOKEN TO YOU SO FAR <3 THANK YOU!!#sexuality #my writing #hazbin hotel #this is a hot button topic atm and it took me a minute to write a reply #that didn't seem like it invited discourse lmfao #actually I still feel weird posting my opinion this strongly oops OH WELL

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jhugas · 10 months

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‘Do it.’- Bts member

✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

Genre: smut

Pairing: Husband! Any Bts! member X wife! Reader

Summary: you and your husband trying to have sex at his concert… and after.

Word count: 1,6k

Warnings/tags: Sex scenes count: 2 | unprotected sex, semi public sex?, make out, m masturbates, f masturbates m, lil facial, cumming on your pussy, rushed sex, half-clothed sex.

Ps: this was inspired by DDay Tour🫶🏻

✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

Some help for the private room: if you’re imagining this in a OT7 concert, just imagine that every member has their private room👀

You and your husband have been teasing each other right before the concert; you were caressing his torso, and him grabbing your titties. And then you started making out, his lips grabbing your top one, sucking hard and softly, and his tongue started caressing your lips. Later, both of your tongues met, intertwining with each other and making wet shameless sounds.

But right when you were about to get serious, the staff called for him to get on stage.

So unfortunately, he had to go perform and you… just watch him on the tv and wait there.

You noticed though, that he looked pretty frustrated performing, along with his boner.

So you just thought that it’d go away and that he’d stop being horny, but he didn’t. The whole first part he kept his dick in his hands and singing half of the lyrics.

So when he came back from the first part, he ran to the private room and immediately ran up to you.

He opened the door, closed it behind him and didn’t lose anytime.

He grabbed your hair and waist and pulled you in a passionate kiss.

Not only he was sort of aggressive from the frustration of not fucking you, but he was also sensitive, so it didn’t take long for him to start moaning in the kiss. He needed you so bad.

So to help him you decide to cup his balls in your hand and feel his cock through his pants, pressing your chest against his.

In answer, he slides his hands under your shirt and toward your pants, playing now with the lace of your panties as he traces his fingers on your ass.

Meanwhile, you’re getting deeper and deeper in the kiss, both moaning and touching each other anywhere possible, the kiss got heated quickly.

When suddenly, he remembered he didn’t have a lot of time, so he wondered about what’s best for him, waiting the end of the concert to get you, or do it now?

But his hands spoke faster, he pulled down your pants and panties in one go and took off his too.

He then looks at you and waits for your approval, and after you nod, he lays you down on your back on the couch, and gets on top.

Curses leave your lips, his hands were so strong and attractive, he grabs strongly your thighs and pulls you closer to him making his tip get dangerously close to your hole, slightly teasing you to make you feel his smooth tip rubbing your clit before pounding inside, making you feel every inch of him just like he wanted.

He starts sliding in and out of you while watching your tits bounce up and down in your shirt. All of this while his fans are still in the public, waiting for his second part without knowing that he’s currently fucking you deep.

He was so needy, he was going all the way in and couldn’t care less about how loud it was nor if someone would see them.

If a staff entered, trust that he won’t stop.

Along with the cheers of the fans, wet slapping sounds and moans were resonating in the room.

Sometimes he took the time to get closer to your face and to kiss you sloppily, I mean, he did whatever felt good to him, and whatever felt good to him, felt good to you. Every move was so pleasurable, that tears rolled down your cheek while he wiped them away.

His hands were grabbing firmly your hips, then caressing your tummy and holding your hands, occasionally holding your chin to make you look at him.

‘I- I’m gonna cum~’ you say, feeling your orgasm coming fast.

‘Cum for me then. Do it.’ he answers in a deep voice, you could hear him being close too.

Then your moans got shamelessly louder, making him even closer to cumming and then, you came hard, clenching your walls around his cock as he fucks you at the right pace, making you feel high for a good minute.

‘In five minutes the part two starts!’ a staff says outside the door.

‘Fuck.’ he curses, before pulling his dick out and masturbating.

He’s going fast, trying to reach his orgasm as quick as possible while looking deep in your eyes.

And when he’s about to cum, he starts shivering, moaning your name loudly and finally releases his semen that reaches your face and slides down his length.

You wipe off his cum off your face and get closer to his, leaving a few kisses on his lips and neck, making him relax before going back to work.

‘The things you make me do…’ he says in a deep voice with a sarcastic smile on his face, before kissing you goodbye and leaving the room in a rush.

When the concert finished, you decided to go home without waiting for him, not thinking of anything, but he wanted more. And when he saw that you weren’t in the private room, he got ready and rushed to his apartment.

You were laying down here, on the couch with your robe and panties under, when all of a sudden, your husband enters in a rush and throws his bags on the floor.

For a minute, he just enjoys your position, on your tummy laying down, with the bottom of the robe almost showing your ass. He’s getting hornier and hornier, and he was so mesmerized looking at you that he didn’t hear your greeting.

‘What’s wrong?’ You ask him when you saw him staring at you from the door. He’s breathing fast, his chest moving heavier than usual…

‘I need you…’ he answers as he gets closer to you, so you try to turn and lay on your back but he stops you, hands on your ass he put you back on your tummy.

For the moment he was just enjoying you with his eyes and creative mind, but now he needed more, more of you.

Unconsciously, he gets on top of you and gives you long and passionate kisses on your neck, slightly sucking and leaving a mark.

‘What are you doing babe…’ you giggle because of how ticklish it feels, but not so long after you’ll understand he’s not really tickling you. You start feeling good about it, getting your neck covered in marks and his spit, him sucking in and wrapping his lips around your skin… your pussy started throbbing, now, you both needed more.

But just when you started moaning, he gives you a peck on your ear and gets back up, positioning himself on his knees with his crotch above your ass.

He curses before taking off his pants and boxers, and places his dick in between your ass cheeks through the robe.

‘Take off my panties, it’ll be easier.’ you said, because you wanted to feel everything, and you did.

After he took off your panties and kept your robe over your ass, you felt his tip rubbing your ass, in between your cheeks, and your asshole, just him applying pressure and making sure you feel how hard and big he is.

Oh how proud he is of his big thick cock, just perfect for you and no one else. His cock and your holes fit like a puzzle, because once he’s in, you couldn’t feel more full and complete. He’s part of you.

He taps it on your ass a few times, before spreading your legs and getting near your cunt.

‘Y/n?’ He asks to make sure you consent.

‘Do it.’ You answer quickly and breathlessly.

He pumps himself a few times, slides in your folds to rub your clit and tease your hole, then finally, after lifting your ass up, slides in.

He’s pounding into you, the sound is wet and strong, and you hear his long moan of relief.

His hands are on your hips, pushing you front and back along with him thrusting into you.

It’s the way he’s filling you entirely and hitting your sweet spot continually that makes it so pleasurable.

He has his eyes stuck on your ass bouncing with your robe halfway up them.

Then you felt your orgasm coming, quicker than you thought and try to push it back as long as possible so that you could feel him fucking you for some more time.

But when he got faster and rougher, you knew you wouldn’t be able to hold it for much time now.

‘I’m gonna- cum.’ You spit out with moans slipping out your lips too.

‘Cum for me then, go on darling.’

He says in a deep, breathless voice.

And as he said, your orgasm reaches to your brain and you feel your weak legs shivering.

Soon after, you came hard and long on his cock that was still pounding in you, you felt so high and good…

But he wasn’t done, he needed to cum too.

So he just pulled out and made you sit on your ass, facing him. Then he took your hands, making them wrap around his dick.

You start sliding your hands up and down his lengths, fast enough to make him reach his orgasm.

And after a few minutes of work, when he was just about to cum, he took his dick himself and placed it over your pussy. So you laid down and opened your legs to give him more space, and he came hard, his white thick cum covering your pussy like a cake.

Later, you both took a warm bath where he made sure you didn’t fall asleep, washed each other and cuddled all night.

Thank you for reading! Likes, reblogs and comments are veryyyy appreciated🫶🏻

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takeme-totheworld · 3 months

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I think what bothers me the most about the "Aziraphale doesn't have religious trauma" argument (which I've seen from many many different people, this is not aimed at anyone in particular) is that it's usually based on the idea that religious trauma = trauma based on being taught to believe in something imaginary, whereas in the GO universe God and Satan and Heaven and Hell are all real.

And like...yes, that's true and I understand where the people who say this are coming from.

But "being taught to believe in something imaginary" is actually not the basis for a lot of what I saw in Aziraphale that I identified so strongly with along religious trauma lines.

You know what things are a hundred percent real?

The church I was raised in and the heavy sway it holds over its members.

Institutional Christianity in general and its influence on the world in general and my country (the US) in particular.

The indoctrination I was subjected to, which was not only about the alleged existence of God, Satan, etc, but was also very much about inculcating us all with a very specific (and harmful) moral framework, and an extremely narrow-minded and tribalistic view toward the rest of society, and intensely harsh, self-punishing rules for being A Good And Righteous Person.

And all those other things, especially the self-punishing moral strictures, have stuck with me far longer and been much more difficult to excise from my brain than the fear of Hell, which I was actually able to dispense with fairly quickly once my brain made all the necessary "oh, this is all bullshit actually" connections.

So when I talk about my personal religious trauma, I'm talking about the trauma I experienced at the hands of a religious institution, which actually encompassed a much broader category of things than "being taught to believe in a scary imaginary mythology." Yes, that was absolutely part of it, and yes, that part was used as the basis to justify the rest of it—but in my case, it was in some ways the least impactful part.

When I see Aziraphale clinging to the belief that Heaven is "the side of truth, of light, of good," I see myself desperately clinging to my love and trust in the basic moral goodness and rightness of the church even when it was measurably harming me. When I see Aziraphale saying things like "it's not for us to understand" or all the weird propaganda about the virtues of poverty in the Edinburgh episode, I see myself parroting real-world ideologies I'd been indoctrinated with growing up, even in the face of factual evidence that life was actually much more complicated than that.

I was taught trust and loyalty toward a deeply harmful institution, I was taught to accept whatever that institution told me was the truth without questioning it, I was taught a bunch of factually wrong and deeply fucked up paradigms about how the actual world of human beings was supposed to work, and I had to work incredibly hard to unlearn all of that. And those are the things I see in Aziraphale that I identify with so intensely and so painfully. And all of those things are also religious trauma.

Anyway, I'm not trying to start an argument about this, just to articulate where I'm coming from. If you are a person who also has religious trauma, who doesn't personally see your experience reflected in Aziraphale, it's totally valid to say that! But to categorically state that it's therefore not religious trauma, or that religious trauma is the wrong metaphor for anyone to use here...just maybe don't do that?

If there's one thing that's become obvious to me in this fandom it's how many different lenses this story can be interpreted through, and it makes me feel icky to see the one that most resonates with me repeatedly and specifically called out as incorrect. By, genuinely, lots of different people, over and over again.

#good omens #aziraphale #personal #religious trauma #religious indoctrination

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glossglamour · 2 months

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The Doctor is in the House: A 2011 Article on House M.D.

BY SHERI LEVINE, POSTMEDIA NEWS NOVEMBER 17, 2011

LOS ANGELES - Paging Dr. House. After eight years, Hugh Laurie is still keeping House's heart beating. And while the medical mysteries may serve as plots for the long-running medical drama, it's Laurie's alter ego, the man himself, Dr. Gregory House, who keeps people tuning in for their weekly fix.

Laurie, who made a name for himself as a comedic actor in his native England, was relatively unknown to North American audiences when House first aired. Of course, that's no longer the case. The multi-talented Laurie -- who recently released a fine album of New Orleans-inspired blues music -- has become a huge star across the pond, as well as one of the highest-paid actors on TV.

"I highly doubt that," says a modest Laurie, who actually seems embarrassed by the very notion that he would rank so high on the actors' payroll. Clearly, he doesn't take his good fortune for granted. Laurie calls himself "a lottery winner" with the great success he's achieved on House.

Dressed casually in a blue, button-down shirt, black pants and black and white sneakers, or trainers (as the Brits would say), Laurie rests his cappuccino cup and saucer on the table in front of him. The charismatic Englishman playfully takes on the group of international journalists who have invaded his turf.

In person, the affable Laurie smiles easily, laughs frequently and seems to never be at a loss for a witty response or anecdote. He is adorably charming, with piercing, blue eyes -- an intense blue not picked up on camera.

It's oddly amusing to see the man -- who plays such a cynical, depressive, perpetually grumpy person, week in and week out -- so happy. Of course, that's the mark of any good actor. But as creator and executive producer, Canadian David Shore, says: "He didn't become House, he WAS House."

Laurie's strong comedic roots may have been what resonated so strongly with Shore upon seeing Laurie's audition tape.

"I venture to guess that, actually, that's part of the reason that I'm here," says Laurie. "Unless this character had a sort of grace and a wit about him, he would be just too much of a pain in the ass, really. The elegance of the way his mind works, and the speed at which it works, is part of his charm, if he has any. Now, lots of people would say he doesn't have any. I disagree. I find him immensely charming.

"I'm not sure I would put up with him as a best friend, but I do find him endlessly entertaining. And I find . . . the references he draws on, the way he seeks out people's weaknesses in such a cruel and horrible way, I find he does at least do it with wit."

House has become an iconic character, largely due to Laurie's flawless portrayal of a brilliant doctor with a horrible bedside manner whose asinine qualities are overshadowed by his brilliance. He's not really an ass, he just acts like one . . . a lot.

The antithesis of House is his best friend, Dr. James Wilson (Robert Sean Leonard). One might even go so far as to say it's their friendship that humanizes House, and is a big part in sustaining the show's success.

"One of the things I'm proudest of in the show is that relationship," says Shore. "I think that it's something you don't see on TV very often -- the male friendship explored," he says.

Leonard weighs in: "His actions are what count. It's the only relationship on the show that's not tied to any employment. I don't work for him and he doesn't work for me, and it's not true of any other character on the show. So we're the only two characters that have actually chosen to be together."

The onscreen pals are also good friends off-screen, a likely contributing factor to the genuine House-Wilson dynamic.

"Well, now that we've stopped sleeping together, it's a lot more comfortable in every way, physically, as well," jokes Leonard. "I don't know. He's very complicated. He's a very strange guy. He's very funny. He's like most of the people I like in my life: tortured, miserable, and just a pain in the ass," Leonard says (referring to Laurie, not House, just in case you were confused).

As to whether this is the show's last season, David Shore says he's undecided.

"I'm not being coy, I'm just honestly not that well ordered," admits Shore. "I would love to and I would hate to (continue the show). It's been a wonderful opportunity for me. It's just been amazing on so many different levels, and I'm continuing to find new and interesting things to do with it. But it's been eight years. It's a long time to do a show. And so I really am not sure what's going to happen."

In the end, Shore says the show is ultimately about "trying to change, but we inevitably fail."

"But if we don't keep trying to change, we're just going to slide completely backwards. I think House would like to be the type of person who could do things differently. But he's not, and he will never (be)."

What does this mean for the fate of Dr. Gregory House?

"I'm not going to change his character for the end of the show," says Shore. "It may not be a miserable ending, but (House) is not going to ride off into the sunset with love."

--- (source) ---

this one surprisingly only took me like twenty minutes to find. my favourite part is when shore says that house is not going to ride off into the sunset with love and yet .

#house md #hatecrimes md #robert sean leonard #rsl #hugh laurie #interview #james wilson #gg.txt #muted

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lanaevyssmoved · 9 months

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how do you feel about people getting astarion’s scars as tattoos because when i saw it i was like uh….

so i was thinking about how to answer this question for a bit and i've come to the conclusion that my struggles because i am completely gobsmacked that in 2023 we still have issues like this

i am 29 years old, which i think is very important to bring up. i've been on tumblr for over a decade, i remember when people were actually doxxed over kinning a character who did a murder once. i remember when lives were destroyed over how people chose to love a video game character. i remember when an ask like this would cause a witch hunt that ended in someone being genuinely unsafe. i think asks like this can still be dangerous, and i can't post this without making that clear. while i'd like to think this wouldn't happen anymore, i can't say for sure, i think we need to have the self awareness of what can come, when our history, as in tumblrs history, is full of things like this being actually deadly. sorry if that's a little too serious for the vibe you're putting out, but that shit was fucking traumatising and i'm not gonna pretend it wasn't, so this ask was a little scary to receive and my upcoming honesty? i'm scared to put it out there on gut instinct alone haha (insert comment about astarion kinnies here)

astarion is a video game character with intent to make you feel things, good or bad. he is designed to tell a story and attach you to that story. he is designed to make your little brain juices sizzle when he says a funny or makes you sad. i'm sure this is obvious, but your concern for what people do with these feelings makes me think it might not be.

the scars are fucking cool design. they were made to be fucking cool. you're meant to look at them the first time you do and go WHOA.... it is very easy to appreciate the work and effort that went into them by whomever designed them, they have a lot to be proud about. if someone wants the scars as a tattoo because they think it's cool, more power to them. that's a fucking expensive tattoo, it would take a long ass time to be finished and heal, it would never be an easy decision for these facts alone.. and adults can do whatever they like with their money. he doesn't exist, he isn't real, he can't be offended by this, and you shouldn't be either.

and now i have to get sensitive with it because astarions story, whether you want to think of this or not, can, and will, resonate with abused people. many kinds of people of course, but most especially abuse victims. as a victim myself, parts of his story hit just a little too close to home and hurt. now think of someone who might have it hit closer to home than it did for me, someone who finds more connection with what astarion went through and what they went through. now imagine how important astarion is to that person, his reclaiming of autonomy, his reclaiming of agency, etc. i can see someone wanting the scars as tattoos because then in their mind they can be astarion and do what astarion did. they can be closer to astarion and use that strength to survive and push through. they can feel what he felt and survive (obviously it's not the same, but it's the symbolism). unfortunately you cannot dismiss that some people may be doing it out of a place of trauma and using astarion to help them heal. i'm not arguing whether or not this is healthy, i've certainly done similar in my youth when it comes to relating to characters who have been abused, we all find our ways to cope, and we all find our places of strength.

astarion doesn't exist, he was created in a game studio with intent to make you feel shit, as established already, including intent to make you feel so strongly you want to put pieces of him on your skin forever, like, that's a compliment when it comes to making characters. if afhiri had something on her skin that signified trauma, and someone wanted to permanently put that on their skin? wow, she means that much to you? you liked her that much? that's a gods damn compliment. and i cannot see those who worked closely with astarions creation seeing it any other way.

what i can say is that when i was younger, 20-23ish, i probably would have given it an 'uh...' too, but as i grew older i realised that life is draining, it is hard, and there is no room to healthily view video game characters as any more than some code and 3d model that exist exclusively to make you feel something strong enough that you might want them with you forever, because that's the end goal, to make you feel that strongly, and if you wanna spend that hard earned money you make on putting the cool scars on your back, or the scars that make you feel so emotional that you cry on your back, do it. let the character whose made this rough existence a little easier or mean a little more do that for you, and if you wanna express it through a tattoo, do that, it's your body, your flesh.

i'm rambling on because i am so passionate in that life is too short to judge others via this. our lives are too hard already, life sucks enough as it is. the video game character doesn't give a shit if his scars are a tattoo because he's not real. who cares? why do you care? no, seriously, why do you care? does this help you? is it good for you? is judging someone else's decisions an act that brings you actual, real joy? is that how you want to spend your time? where you want to put your free thoughts? you don't know them, their reasoning, what they're going through, and it shouldn't matter. because their body has absolutely nothing to do with you, and i find it weird and uncomfortable that you cared enough about what someone else does with their body that you'd send me an anon about it.

i don't know whether you were looking for validation, or me to generally think about this critically, but i cannot encourage the mindset of caring about this more than "wow, i hope it looks good because that shit gonna be expeeeensive!!!" i cannot encourage sending people anon asks about it, it is strange to do that. this was strange! it was a strange experience and i don't like it. but i couldn't ignore it.

astarion might matter to you, personally, but he himself as a video game character, doesn't, because he isn't real, he has no feelings, he cannot be hurt or offended. but the person getting the tattoo? they're real. they're a real life person with feelings. they can be hurt, you can hurt them. you can judge them and bring them down and make them feel guilty for their choices. deciding whether you are the kind of person who'd do that to a living breathing person over a video game character is something you need to do. do you want to be that person? i know i certainly don't

#ask #Anonymous #sorry for putting this massive ask on everyones dash this morning this just really hit me in the gut #i cried writing this lol dgkdfgd #please don't send people asks like this #don't invite others to be judgemental and unkind #don't encourage that.. not ever #please do better #sorry if theres typos or smth doesnt make sense #this became very hard to look at

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thynisia-pac-readings · 9 months

Text

PAC - What brings joy to you? How to bring joy to yourself?

[please do not copy or reproduce any part of this reading, thank you]

This reading is meant to assist you in connecting with the vibration and experience of joy. While this is for guidance, it is also meant to be fun. These groups are collectives, so take what resonates only!

I'm happy you chose to read this pick-a-pile, and may it bring you closer to the light within you. 🌻

Now slowly take 3 deep breaths. Ask your guardian angel to help you find the relevant pile for you and let your intuition guide you throughout this reading. Enjoy!

---

Pile 1

Signs: pay attention to yourself. apple. justice served. I love you. India, US.

Pile 1!!!! Pile 1, pile 1, pile 1. As I shuffled the cards, I found myself singing. I can bet most of you find joy in singing freely, and even a card fell, backing this up.

I'm also getting that to find joy is to find bliss, and to find bliss is to find joy. That is what joy means to you, pile 1. For you, bliss can be found in your peace and quiet, it can be felt through the divine and experienced during meditations. Being by yourself and not talking, is healing for you. It also helps you to get in touch with yourself as well as your divine team. Again very healing, centering, and therefore it's easier for you to feel that bliss and joy.

Someone here could have a bird or parrot, I think your bird is funny AF and makes you laugh a lot.

Some of you may be close to a grandparent, and so the advice here is to spend time with them as it is a very good way for you to bring joy to yourself (and them!).

We've got the romance card so some of you may feel most joyful when you're in a relationship. But mostly, what I'm getting is that being there for people and supporting them is what brings you joy, always - whatever kind of relationship that is! I feel like you bring out the light within people, the angelic aspect they didn't know they had. That tells a lot about you too, pile 1.

Back to the singing, I also feel like it helps you release a ton of heavy stuff (feelings, painful memories...) that you don't want trapped in you or that you don't want to carry anymore. It also helps you to unleash your true self. There's definitely an element of transformational healing there with singing or songwriting, and the divine is strongly encouraging you to keep doing that.

Some of you could be singing with your own family members. For some, singing is a key characteristic of a side of your family since many generations! How cool is that!!

If you want to purchase a reading from me check my masterlist or go straight to my Etsy listings here. discount code: TUMBLR

---

Pile 2

signs: having fun adventures, taking joy in learning, living freely and passionately (see moon & mars in Aries and Sagittarius). Brazil, India, NZ, South Pacific, UK. 44.

I saw deep blue as I was shuffling the cards (in my mind's eye), and sure enough most of the cards had a deep blue in them. I also sensed some sadness from this collective. This deep blue could mean something to you, or it could just represent this sadness of yours.

For this Pile, the divine is asking to bring forth your patience in things, as joy will definitely find you. It seems like you really struggle with it at the moment, so this reading is a welcome guidance for you and I am happy that you chose to read it. :)

For your collective, the divine seems to highlight the importance of patience and growth. They are asking you to cultivate yourself, cultivate discipline/persistence and cultivate patience as good things are headed your way while you practice this cultivation. You could find it useful to listen to monks' wisdom and how they cultivate themselves on patience, discipline, persistence, as well as how they face challenging experiences. Preferably, find books written by them on the subject, as they can freely explain everything. YouTube videos cut many parts out and are nowhere as comprehensive/rich as the monks' own books.

Finally, you are asked to trust yourself as you navigate through the difficult path you are walking on. It is not easy and sometimes you may feel like you are losing balance, but listen; even the whole universe is in a constant fight for balance. Complete balance between the light and the shadow does not exist and that's what makes the universe alive! You are the universe too, you are a spark of God/Creator, and hence it is perfectly normal for you, like all of us, to continually try to find a balance. It's all part of the experience, you beautiful wise soul. And what can be more amazing than knowing that we are alive, that we are all experiencing joys and pains, just like the universe is both made of light and dark..!!

If you want to purchase a reading from me check my masterlist or go straight to my Etsy listings here. discount code: TUMBLR

---

Pile 3

signs: someone is named Grace and it's for a reason - maybe your mother named like this on purpose, Pile 3 you could have a very gentle voice that soothes people, there's a lot of kindness in your voice as I have myself talking this way throughout your reading (yes I talk out loud during my readings). traveling could be a source of joy. US, Australia, UK.

A lot to unpack here (in a good way) but it's also pretty clear to me. It feels like you are Earth angels or Starseeds, I mean to everyone you're literally like a light sent on Earth. You yourself feel like you have a lot of love and care to give to people, so much so that you want to make of it your career. So take it as a sign if that's what you've been thinking about.

The divine are really highlighting that you have a strong connection to your intuition and that a major purpose of it is to be used in service to others. You are divinely guided, and you definitely have your own mission or purpose in this life on Earth, which is to assist and guide others towards their inner light, their inner spark of Creator/Source.

You may be hesitating at the moment but trust your intuition, you will find joy on the path that the divine accompanies you on. Worry not, whatever path you chooses, the divine will always support you. However this reading is about what brings you joy and how you can bring joy to you. ;)

Now that's out of the way, let me indulge in the feeling I got from you Pile 3! It's a secret shh, but you're my favourite pile of the 3! xD

I got this really sweet, caring and loving energy from your collective, it's beautiful! Your spark is really focused on assisting others, which makes me think you're more likely an angelic aspect than a starseed. You love others but you also let others love you - and by letting them love you, you are helping them to nurture and express these energies more! In other words, people feel safe to express these caring energies towards you as well.

In terms of vibration, love and joy are not so far off from each other and they are actually interconnected, aren't they? :)

So there you go Pile 3, keep true to yourself and your values, keep shining your light (love) inside out, keep hugging others within your angel wings ~

If you want to purchase a reading from me check my masterlist or go straight to my Etsy listings here. discount code: TUMBLR

---

Obviously, this type of reading is amazing to do because you're bathing in the energy you're reading about! Amazing. Again I hope you enjoyed. Let me know what piles you got and what your thoughts are~

Thynisia <3

This reading was done partly through cartomancy, divine channeling and my personally made paper note signs. I thank Source, Gaia, and all of our higher selves and guardian angels for supporting and blessing this reading. 🙏🏼

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ladyamaranta · 10 months

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where the heck is Raphael

I assume we all agree that the narrative is strongly implying that Crowley was but a common angel (the 25 lazarii miracle, the high rank clearance, what he says to Gabriel about knowing how it feels, how he does not tell Aziraphale his name when they first meet during the galaxy creation scene, the fact he knows The Metatron -an angry and flame surrounded versione of The Metatron, Saraqael having worked side by side with him, and also maybe some too powerful miracles here and there like in S1 when he was able to froze time for himself, Aziraphale and Adam in a sort of Heavenly space in the middle of a Very Important Moment) ...so the point is which not common angel was he.

From my very personal point of view the main thing in favor of him being Lucifer is that I would love that sentence in S1 to be the opposite of what we thought it to be. I'm referrinf to: "I was just minding my business one day and then, oh lookie here, it's Lucifer and the guys"; the last part would therefore be not something Crowley said, but something that was addressed to him. Someone came there, took a look at him and went "ohh, it's Lucifer and the guys" and started to complaing about the food. I appreciate this kind of 'irrelevant subversion' of how you first pictured a told (and not yet shown) scene in your mind. Also it would be fun for Lucifer to be, in this universe, not the mind behind the rebellion but someone who was just minding his business and someone else saw as the right person to go to to give further resonance to some minor issues about the food.

But.

But from the same very personal point of view, I'd love for Crowley to be Raphael because I would love for the Great Raphael to be a fallen angel in this retelling of christian mythology. Lucifer is THE fallen angel, everyone knows he was the first to cast down the pearly gates; most christians associate him with Satan, call him the first sinner, consider him inherently baaad.

But Raphael? One of the greatest angels? One of the saints? To be one of the fallen?

Just. Lovely.

Also I recognize the story has an important hole here:

Where the heck is Raphael?

At least Lucifer was mentioned, also Hell has so far not had the same amount of screentime as Heaven has, so I don't see the absence of Lucifer (given that in this universe Satan≠Lucifer) as deliberate as the absense of Raphael.

Everyone is familiar with Gabriel, Michael and Raphael as they are familiar with Lucifer. Yet Raphael is never shown nor mentioned.

Everyone is familiar with Gabriel, Michael and Raphael, almost no one is familiar with Uriel and Saraqael and no one is familiar with hecking Sandalphon. Yet they chose not to use the famous trio Gabriel-Michael-Raphael to straightforward let the audience know 'this is Heaven's Small Council'. No, they get rid of Raphael like he was a barely known angel, like he was an angel no one knows the name of before reading about angeology, like he was a Sandalphon.

Listen, this is deliberate.

The absence of Raphael is deliberate.

And I would love for him to be the 'angel who fell because he was asking too many questions'.

I would love for him to be the powerful Supreme Archangel that was just minding his business when Lucifer and the boys reached out to.

May I add.

...even if Crowley is not Raphael, I'm sure Raphael would pop up somewhere else, because the narrative has strongly pointed in the direction of a fallen Great One.

I refuse to believe The Metraton said

"For one Prince of Heaven to be cast into the outer darkness makes a good story. For it to happen twice makes it look like there is some sort of institutional problem." about some hecking Sandalphon.

Little addition because I have never seen this Very Valid Point mentioned:

Crowley gives away a lot of younger sibling energy when interacting with Gabriel and Middle Child Michael 😌

#crowley #crowley is raphael #archangel raphael #christian mythology #good omens #meta #good omens meta #talking to myself #theory #good omens theory #the metatron #aziraphale #saraqael #sandalphone #archangel gabriel #archangel michael #the princes of heaven #good omens 2

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gffa · 6 months

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Anakin Skywalker, questions 4 and 6

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in? Listen, I would put my babygirl in everything if I could. To be fair, he's kinda been in everything, movies, TV shows, books, games, comics, etc., you name it, Anakin Skywalker has barged his way into it. But I still want more of him. We all like to joke, "Anakin, you can't have a TV series of your own, the ENTIRE MOVIE SAGA IS ABOUT YOU." but I also genuinely would like a full TV series about Anakin. It's hard to find a point in his life that hasn't been covered, but I would love an animated mini-series covering his time as a Padawan I would love a live action series about Vader during the time of the Empire, just fully explore him at his worst and make me feel bad for the genocidal fascist asshole monster who is a "pathetic old man" underneath it all I would hand Lucasfilm fistfuls of cash for Hayden and Ewan to have a holiday special where they're Force Ghosts together and MST3K'ing the events of The Mandalorian and Ahsoka. I just want more of my babygirl however I can get it! 6. What's something you have in common with this character? Ego in the stratosphere, self-esteem in the toilet. Okay, I exaggerate a little, Anakin's not that egotistical, but he does tend to think he can pull off a lot of shit (and he's often very correct that he can) and I see him as someone who struggles with strongly believing he's good at stuff while also having the crippling self-doubt that comes with being terrified to do a lot of deep-diving into your own soul because it's scary in there and you're afraid of what you'll find, that you won't like who you are. It's taken me a long time to get past that, I've had to work so hard to believe my friends and family when they tell me that they love me and genuinely want me to be around, that I'm not just a burden to them, even when they have been nothing but supportive--I still struggle with it sometimes. I struggle with telling people what's really going on with me because I know the answers they're going to tell me and that they're right, but I don't want to do them, because it's hard and scary and uncomfortable. In part, this is why I get on Anakin's case so much (also, you know, the baby murder hits a very personal place for me), because I'm yelling at him for something that is striking a very, very resonant chord within myself, too.

#lumi.txt #star wars #anakin skywalker #meta #character ask game

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soaringwide · 1 month

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Pick a Card readings - how I views them as a reader & the different perceptive skills used

So I wanted to talk a bit about my vision of the use of pick a card readings. I'm someone who makes them but I also consume them as a viewer. I wanted to combine both in a post but it's too damn long so this will be divided in two parts. Part 1, reader; Part 2, consumer.

Part 01 - From a reader's point of view

It's definitely quite interesting to work on because you start with *zero* context and preconception about the person, since you don't know who it is meant for precisely. So your interpretation of the cards and intuition are not short-circuited by your preconceptions about either what you know of the person, or the context they gave you.

This allows me to let myself go fully into creating a story in my head from what I see in the cards. I found myself being much more relaxed when doing these readings, because I'm not scared about being wrong about a person's life since I imagine that someone somewhere will find it resonates. I can even include multiple ''streams'' in my reading since, again, it's meant for different people. For example I might interpret a struggle in two different ways and include both in the readings, if both feel relevant. That doesn't mean I say whatever comes out of my head, I still need to chose what aspect of the card resonates and creates a coherent narrative with the other cards, but it clears the way for intuition to flow more freely.

What I discovered is that it is a good exercise to strengthen my intuition and allows me to feel more at ease with it because I don't try to hold it back so much.

It's also quite fascinating because it allows me to feel different types of energy quite strongly in a short time span.

For example, the feel of the energy (or vibe or whatever you want to call it) is not the same at all if I get a very spiritual pile vs one that talks about a love situation. The first one, I once remember feeling the weight of the message I was relaying, perhaps due to the spirits that came to answer the question, or perhaps due to the nature of the query. It was also a reading that left me quite tired and I had to take a nap after it because it was just sooo much (not negatively, just a lot). Whereas a love situation will feel more lighthearted or even bubbly at times and put me in a goofy mood.

But you also get different feelings even on the same topic. Like the vibe of Pile 1 vs Pile 2 can feel drastically different, without even having to look at the cards.

I find that both fascinating intellectually and to be a great exercise in shaping my psychic skills and reading accuracy. It's quite hard to put into words and I still have a lot to learn about that, but I can definitely tell the difference.

However, there's definitely a case here of two different types of perception in use, which I'm going to attempt to describe.

Broad Perception

One is what I call ''broad perception''. As the name suggest, this type of perceptive skill allows you to cast a broad net and gather information widely, without getting too much into individual details.

It's a way to be able to get messages from multiple sources at once, creating a big landscape that is quite blurry and lacks details.

It's very useful when you are doing pick a card readings when you can't focus on one single person or situation without making the message irrelevant for everyone else.

Precise Perception

The other is what I call ''precise perception'' and well I imagine you get the gist but it's when you're trying to gather details and really dive deep into a problem or situation.

It's great in personal readings, but even in pick a cards, it's useful when you need to give someone a confirmation that the reading is indeed for them, because it allows you to pick up details that they will recognize and allow them to be open to the message you're trying to relay.

Which one is best?

Most people rely more on one than the other, but, really, you need both.

If you're too broad, you never give enough details to the querent and you risk being too general. The reading might still resonates but you're missing the opportunity to pull out specific information.

If you're too precise, then you run the risk of missing out on the bigger picture and focusing too much on a tiny aspect of the problem without seeing how it relates to the rest.

So both should be used if you want to be efficient, which is a long ass process and requires a lot of time and effort, and is the reason why I like doing both pick a card and personal readings, either for people I know or randos on the internet.

But yeah to get back to pick a cards, I think it's a great way to strengthen your broad perception, while learning to be mindful of your use of the precise perception, because, again, you don't want to be too focused on one person but also still be giving enough confirmation details.

Part 2

#pick a card #pick a card readings #tarot readings #tarot #tarot reading #soaringwide #tarot community #tarotblr

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sehtoast · 7 months

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To Be Liked (Homelander x OC)

1.5k | Sad themes, Homie gives a cheer-up talk, pre-relationship, some pining | Part one of hopefully many of random Benlander drabbles | Fic Directory

Something about him was off.

All day long, something wasn’t right. It bothered Homelander endlessly.

What was with that look in his eyes? Why did those smiles look so… fake?

He’d been so excited to head out with Benjamin for the night. Wrap up his stupid fucking duties and spend time with the new-recruit-turned-friend. He loved this. More than anything in the world, he loved zipping around the city with Ben.

He could be himself.

Maybe…

Maybe that was the problem. Had he been too much of himself? Maybe Ben decided he didn’t like the authentic Homelander. Maybe he spilled too many personal details and put him off.

It made Homelander’s gut sour– made his mouth go dry.

There were a lot of… feelings for his one. More than anyone Homelander had ever considered pursuing in the past.

Had he fucked it all up already?

Every little paranoid thought in his mind pointed to it being all his fault, leaving him agitated and irritable as they made their rounds– eventually settling on top of the Queensboro Bridge rather than their usual spot. They watched the sun dip down below the horizon, painting them both an ethereal gold. He filled the silence, but Ben…

Ben only gave short answers, nods of his head while he stared off into the distance as though he were somewhere else entirely.

Homelander didn’t know if he was furious or just fucking crushed.

“What the fuck is your deal?” He asks, words spilling out far more accusatory than he meant. “Someone piss in your breakfast or what?”

Ben cracked a weak smile, shrugging.

Homelander waited, finally moving to take off once Ben left his question unanswered. A strong grip caught him by the wrist, silently asking him to stay.

So he did. Arched an inquisitive brow, staring Ben down all the while. The bug didn’t release him– just sat there looking down at the passing cars with sad eyes.

Obviously he wants Homelander around but…

“I’m not…” Ben began, giving his hand a fluttery shake as if to explain his state of being in an act. “But I’m not good at talking about things.”

About things? Homelander thought to himself. That didn’t seem right– Ben was always quick to respond in their conversations. Always something sweet or witty, an anecdote here or a joke there.

Lost in thought, Homelander hadn’t realized a salty scent began to waft through the air until it hit his nose in a breeze. Was he–

Yeah… He is.

He peeks back just in time to catch Ben wiping his eyes furiously with the back of his hand. Homelander’s quick to free his arm and lay it over the bug’s shoulders, but he’s not sure what to do. Yeah, he knows how to comfort crying victims and sobbing children who don’t want him to fly away, but this?

It’s harder to comfort someone when they actually matter.

“Try me,” Homelander whispers.

“Does it ever…” Ben began, trailing off when his voice grew tight. “D’you ever just feel really… really alone?”

He watches Ben with baited breath, almost afraid to move. Of course I do, he wanted to say. Before he can reply, Benjamin speaks again.

“It’s like…” Ben gives a look of frustration, fingers flexing back and forth as he tries to convey something seemingly impossible. Like he’s trying to dig the words from the bedrock of his heart. “There’s so many people, but none of them…”

He gestures with his hands again, and somehow it makes sense.

“Did you ever watch that stupid show with the cartoon horse?” Ben asks with a sniffle. “S’fine if you didn’t– just, it’s got this line in it, y’know?”

Homelander curls his arm tighter when Benjamin swipes at more tears.

“Everybody loves you, but nobody likes you…”

A trillion pound weight forms in Homelander’s chest at just how strongly those words resonate.

“And I– like, I’ve got friends… family– sort of, y’know?” Ben continues, words hurried, voice tight. “But I’m always convinced they don’t.”

But I do…

“And it’s stupid,” Ben continues. “E-Everything about it is so fucking stupid! I’m supposed to be happy– I’m the happy guy who’s never–” He shakes his head and heaves a shuddering sigh. “M’always so outta place… And now I’m making you be m-my fuckin’ therapist…”

After a beat of silence, and another of Ben’s unnecessary apologies, Homelander speaks up.

“I like you.” He says. His voice comes out timid, and he’s not sure why. It’s like all the confidence and bravado of his usual self has been snuffed.

Like he’s staring at a mirror image of his own insecurities in the form of someone he adores.

“That’s–”

“I do,” he continues before Ben can go on. “I like you a lot.” He doesn’t know what words are coming before they fall off his tongue. “I’ve never met anyone like you before.”

Ben looks at him with teary eyes, and he has to swallow around a thick wave of emotion before he can continue.

“You’re sweet, Ben. You’re so fuckin’ nice, you make me wanna puke sometimes. Y-You help old ladies cross the street and tie up criminals I’d have rather lasered than let have another chance!”

“That’s Spider-Man, not–”

“Shut. Up.” He demands in a tone wholly unlike himself. “You– I watched you, before all this. To figure you out.” He was digging himself into a fucking crater sized hole by confessing this, but it was too late to go back. “I’ve seen you. How you always tip those useless fuckin’ cashiers even though they only pressed a button. Rushing over to wipe some old bat’s seat and table when she spilled her drink– and it’s not even your problem. Carrying cases of paper at your old job so the others didn’t have to, even when that mouth breather of a boss pretended to never see you go the extra mile!”

Homelander gripped Ben by the shoulders.

“I’ve seen how all those fuckin’ bozos smile at you when you walk away. Watched your friends practically fucking skip down a block after your little coffee hangouts or whatever, absolutely reeking of dopamine.”

He gives Ben a small shake, more so for himself as motivation to just say it.

“And I know how I feel about you.” The words weigh heavy in his throat, but every second that he stares into those sad, dark chocolate eyes pulls them free as though they were naught but strings. “I know how excited I am to see you after I finish all the show pony bullshit they make me do. Every text that isn’t from you is a– it’s a fucking disappointment! I don’t know how these fuckin’ phones work, but I wish I could have a special sound that means it’s from you.”

He hates the sob that chokes from his little spider, but he knows it’s the right kind when it comes with a smile. Somehow he’s doing this right.

“I spend all day thinkin’ about where we can fly off to! If we’re gonna sit at one of our spots or watch a movie at your place– if we’re…”

Ben lurches forward, throwing his arms around Homelander’s neck. The bug cries softly in the crook of his neck.

Homelander doesn’t know what that was. How he, for seemingly the first time in his life, pulled from nothing but the heart. No performing, no falsehoods, no bullshit.

He meant it.

All of it.

”I like you, Ben.” He reaffirms, rubbing a soothing hand between his little spider’s shoulders. “You can take that one to the bank.”

He waits, and waits, and waits, until he’s positive Ben fell asleep on him. So, he does what any superhero would do and flies him home– having his own little inner turmoil about how fucking honest the boy always makes him.

Homelander gets as far as depositing Ben onto the bed, but no further.

“Don’t go…” whispers a pitiful, sniveling little voice.

His heart hammers. For so long now, he truly has been enamored with the bug. Fascination at first, but now..?

So much more.

“Please…”

So he stayed. Let Ben snuggle up beside him, first just clinging to his arm in some silly desire to not push boundaries. That goofy position lasted only moments before Homelander offered him to rest on his chest.

“I’m a cozy guy,” he whispers. “I won’t bite.”

Just as he thought Benjamin was finally asleep, he heard a whisper.

“Hey, Johnny?”

He was the only soul on the planet who could call him that, let alone make it warm his heart.

“I like you, too.” Ben yawned. “You make things good.”

“Hmm,” he hummed teasingly. “I gave you such a big list earlier, and all I get is that I make things good?”

Ben nodded against him, clearly on the brink of falling asleep.

“Love havin’ you n’my life…”

With that, Ben was out like a light, leaving Homelander to let his own little tears finally leak free.

You make things good.

What a wonderful web he’s found himself tangled in.

#homelander #homelander x oc #homelander fanfiction #antony starr #the boys #did i therapy my own depressed ass with this one? you bet. did it help? sorta lmao

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zeldaelmo · 7 months

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Director’s commentary on Somebody That I Used to Know!! If you need/ want a specific chapter - rituals.

Ah, B, thank you! This story experienced a revival in the last few weeks because a friend was inspired by it and now toys with writing a sequel to it which makes me very happy.

A common trope in OoT fics is Link leaving for searching Navi and coming back in the middle of a ball several years later to sweep the ever waiting Zelda of her feet. It makes for a cute little scene, but after reading a couple of interpretations of it, my mind went down the 'and what if he doesn't?' road.

So I started thinking about Zelda waiting for him to fulfill his promise of coming back and he just... doesn't. What would she do after five years, after ten years, after thirty years? A why wouldn't he keep a promise? What would make him break it?

When I had the idea, I didn't plan doing anything with it anytime soon. I have quite some fic ideas like this: some hastily notes thrown together and saved on my discord server, waiting for the right moment to come. And then, @zelinkcommunity published the prompts for zelink week 2022 and the story fit so perfectly, that I dropped everything and started writing.

I usually write lighthearted stories. They have some angst to keep the plot going, yes, but overall they don't cut too deep. That's mostly because fandom is escapism for me and I want to have fun. This one is different and it was interesting to explore what I'm capable of in the right setting.

I wanted to show how having lived through half of their lives already affected Link and Zelda after all the trauma they went through. We see a lot of exploring the immediate effects of the games in fan fiction, but stories about how they affect the big and smaller life decisions are rare. And that's where the fun for me began: To work out how complicated life is. To show there's no easy answer to why Link didn't come back. To highlight that Zelda was a terrible queen because she projected her anxiety on her reign.

The story only gets Kudos every few weeks, because it's probably nothing most people in fandom search out nowadays, but if I have a super long comment in my inbox, it's usually for this one. Maybe it's the mature approach to OoT's tragedy or the respect for complicated characters and feelings, but something about the story resonates strongly with the people who read it. And I'm very happy and thankful about that.

My favorite scene from 'Rituals' is this here:

He fell silent, digging the tip of his boot into the hard soil around the fire. It took an eternity for him to look up again and when he did, his gaze was cold. It was the first time that she thought the missing eye made his face a tad harsh.

"So instead of a hard-earned happy ending for us, you managed to create a version where I'm gone, one where I end up here, and one where I'm killed. Eh, good work, I'd say."

Zelda drew a shaky breath. "Would you even have wanted a happy ending for us?" The words toppled from her mouth before she could quell the bitterness in them.

His gaze snapped away.

"I didn't know that I would create different realities, Link," she continued, her voice now purposely soft. "We thought it was safe. I just… it wasn't your fault that you got dragged into all this and I wanted to give you the chance to live a normal life."

"I'm an orphan raised by a tree, Zelda. I never had the chance for a normal life." When she shifted on her seat, he buried his hands in his hair. "Sorry. I know you meant well. It's not that you choose to be part of all this either. It's just… this one moment was maybe the only one where we had a choice. And you made it for me."

Zelda couldn't tear her gaze from the way his hands dropped listlessly back into his lap. How had she never considered this? All he had wanted was to choose his own future.

"I'm sorry," she pressed out, and it didn't matter if she stole this choice from him or the other Zelda.

His hand darted to hers, squeezed, and was gone again. "It is what it is."

#zelink #ocarina of time #ask game #somebody that i used to know

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drill-teeth-art · 1 year

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i'm sure you've gotten this already, but i wanted to reach out and say your Good Bi Gender comic REALLY resonated with me. i identify as nonbinary but so often i get called transmasc or assumed i want masculinity Only when that's not how i feel at all. i LIKE femininity, i like being feminine and everything that comes with it; i call myself a sister and a daughter and i identify a lot with women's issues and struggles in society!

but im not a woman. i don;t think I've ever felt like one and i haven't been one for the last four years. i don't want to remove any parts of my body and while it would be cool to have more stereotypically masculine aspects (idk facial hair and wider shoulders maybe) I'm also ok as i am.

it's upsetting that there is such a binary view, that even other trans people decide we can only be one. i don't want to be one, i want both, and i want the beautiful things they can both make, i want to be so much because i AM so much and i just.

idk this probably doesn't make a lot of sense and hgfjdksl sorry for pouring into your inbox; i really wanted to say thank you. your comic was for you and your experiences but reading it made me feel seen and heard in a way no one has made me feel before. you verbalised something i have had so much trouble expressing and while our experiences are not the same, i deeply resonate with what you expressed in a way that touched me very very strongly.

i hope someday you are allowed both your femininity and your masculinity at the same time. i hope someday you can be wholly happy <3

No I get you it makes a TON of sense to me. The frustration of talking to people (even a lot of other trans people I’ve met) who only seem to understand gender in terms of the binary is so much. And it’s like. Our identities and experiences differ for sure, but the frustration of having to explain to others over and over that your gender doesn’t fit the binary and you don’t want it to is very real and exhausting and heartbreaking. Because like. Having to make your gender “palatable” to people who only understand the binary is something no one should have to do but the pressure to do it is real and intense. The amount of “I didn’t know anyone else felt this way” just in the comments and tags on my comic really is like. A testament of how shut out of the gender conversation identities that actively do and strive to defy the binary are.

Like. In my own case. I shouldn’t have to get rid of my boobs to be considered a man. I shouldn’t have to hide my femininity to be taken seriously as a trans person. Neither my manhood or womanhood should have to die for the other. They’re not even opposites. In fact. If I can put it abstractly. My manhood and womanhood have plenty of overlap in presentation and are very much in love. And the binary is hell bent on forcing even trans people to choose a binary box to fit neatly in. And that’s screwed up.

I hope this world finds kindness in it for you as well and that whatever gender presentation and balance is right for you is respected. Thank you for the kind words and reaching out.

#ask #otto thoughts #transgender

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blysse-and-blunder · 11 months

Text

in lieu of packing

11pm, saturday, july 15, 2023

the things i could be doing right now could fill multiple volumes, but i listened to a podcast today about academic (im)perfectionism and am deciding i don't need to feel guilty. this summer's Big European Travel starts tomorrow and I! am! nervois! but i've done some smaller trips recently which helped me work up to this in a way. further media and life musings below the cut.

reading i had a few weeks there where my recreational reading was... a little bleak, in that i was reading things that felt dated and/or formulaic and/or just put me straight to sleep, thereby meaning that i took much longer than i normally like to finish anything-- this was enlivened with two excellent new instalments from two different series i love, anne leckie's translation state and samantha shannon's a day of fallen night.

very very fun now thinking of these back to back. two books were so engrossing, built (and built on) such rich worlds, such good command of the vibes/atmosphere/tone they were going for, but so different! to sound like a book reviewer for a moment, leckie's prose is sort of lean where shannon's is lush, something like that. there's a joke in here based on the meme that goes 'sci-fi is where x, fantasy is where y' but i'm too tired to work it out myself. both of these books say-- so there are incomprehensible beings in your world which may wish to eat and/or destroy you, and some people have found ways to work or live with them, but it is very weird and alien to your way of life. day of fallen night feels more like a climate metaphor, and there is plenty that felt pulled straight from the psyche of the years 2020-2023. both do fun/interesting things with gender and relationships, and both made me want to go re-read their respective predecessors to heighten the feeling of connection and resonance with those other works.

watching mostly dimension 20-- i introduced @yogurtforever to fantasy high last week, and I myself have been working my way through the toy island arc of neverafter-- but here is the place to mention watching netflix's new documentary about WHAM!, of all things, with @yogurtforever and @thehibernatinglentil last weekend.

youtube

not being a documentary hound, i never would have watched this without friends, but it was genuinely quite fun! i didn't know a ton about wham! or george michael, which i now realize is a shame because there's a lot to know. making up for it by having the lyrics to their first hit single, the inimitable 'wham rap', stuck in my head for the next 200 years.

listening due in no small part to the wham! doc (and an mama mia 2 rewatch the week before that), i put on a lot of throwback music this week. it ended up being more 70s than 80s, and that got me thinking about how strongly my parents' music taste influenced mine. there are so many good artists from ~back then~ who i have found out about later, because we just didn't listen to them at home? and of the vinyl i remember finding in the basement, you know, it wasn't bowie, it wasn't fleetwood mac, it wasn't springsteen (it was james taylor and paul simon and probably joni mitchell). luckily, summer camp taught me all the lyrics to a bunch of other oldies, and we did listen to the radio oldies station quite a lot, so my education wasn't entirely deficient. i bring this week the don maclean song 'vincent', which i will be thinking a lot about for one reason and another this week.

youtube

playing i have, at long, long last, completed my stardew community center. it was a little anticlimactic, after all the travail that went into it, but i'm so pleased. it only took like two actual human real life years! the last thing i needed was a rabbit's foot, and now at last i feel like i can move to the next tier of game play. i remain unmarried, fighting for my life in skull cavern, but now with two small bunnies to love.

making trying to figure out how to eat most of the food i have in the fridge, how to use up things and make the most of what i have and not leave anything to spoil for the next little while, so i haven't really been cooking big projects. i've been 'making' appointments, got my eyes checked, had coffee with two different profs and chatted with a former student about her med school applications, and that's about it!

working on conference paper, which is both a slideshow (graphic design is my passion, this part is mostly fine) and a draft of what might turn into usable words for the chapter i'm working on. naturally i have built it up into the Biggest Scariest Most Important task, and so am avoiding it and finding it miserable to work on. and i still have time! i had wanted to not work on it on the plane, during my travel week, etc., but there is actually time. there's time. and i keep having small breakthroughs, after 2-5 hours of dicking around, which allow me to believe that there is an end in sight. other things to be worked on, for when i have some 'free' 'time'-- newsletter draft that's so very overdue, multiple students asking for detailed essay feedback and grade breakdowns, emails from students asking for other things, recommendation letter, the next chapter that i'm meant to be finishing this summer. luckily, it's a long plane ride.

#in lieu of a commonplace book #ilcb #weekly roundup #the good thing with writing about two books per post is that i can really easily avoid spoilers; the bad thing is that i can't just yell #about the parts in each one in particular that made me yell!#it's a zoomed-out format and normally i like that #but also: these books were so good

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epersonae · 10 months

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I promised a couple of people in the comments that I would write up my thoughts on the relationship between for the benefit of all the broken hearts and the Carly Rae Jepsen album The Loneliest Time, and as a way of dealing with some wicked writer's block, here it is. (below the cut, because long, and I know only a few followers/mutuals are likely to be interested. also: spoilers for my fic, if you are interested in it but haven't read/finished.)

fwiw, even if you have no interest in this particular fic, I highly recommend the album, it's great!

So I wrote most of this fic while listening to this album: I was looking for some good background music, I wanted some pop music, and I had listened to it once and thought it was pretty good, so I put it on. And THEN it turns out most of the album hits the Themes and Motifs I was playing with, and I became obsessed. (Tidal continues to let me know, month after month, just how obsessed.) And CRJ became an ingredient in the character I was writing, which turned into a great feedback loop of the music and the aesthetic and getting sent interviews, which fed back into the character, etc etc etc.

As I was writing, I ended up with the headcanon that this album is sort of/mostly/not entirely/in a parallel dimension the album that the unnamed protagonist is working on throughout the story. Which in the story, she's written about half an album, quite a bit of which is about her relationship with Ed, and then she's inspired to write new songs by the events of the story itself. In my head, that works with the songs in the real album in the real world, because I think of them as three categories.

I will say that sometimes songs move around in categories in my head, or I've thought about their relationship to the story in different ways over time, which is part of the experience of mostly listening to a single album for seven months. (Apologies to my neighbors, I guess? Or anyone who has ridden in my car.)

Songs that have nothing to do with the story

If this is the album in the story, these are songs she wrote before the story that are not related to her relationships, they're just songs.

Beach House - although a song like this is directly referenced, I think a couple of times? She redirects the interview in the final scene by talking about something like it, a song inspired by terrible online dating experiences, which I think is something I heard in a CRJ interview about Beach House.

Bends (which is apparently a song CRJ wrote about grief from losing a family member) - the chorus is very vibes but it doesn't hit anything in particular

Western Wind - likewise vibes but not story

Shooting Star - I do love this song, but yeah, not part of the story

Pre-WFU (or at least pre-story) songs about Ed

These are also songs she came into the studio with, but they are specific to her relationship with Ed, and a particular conception of them that she has in her head. I am agnostic about whether she wrote them entirely before WFU, or in the gap during/after when she didn't know about those events.

So Nice - this is the song re: Ed; it's the song she can't quite get in the studio after meeting Mary, the song she remembers writing while watching him, the song she can finally record properly after things are more resolved. (Yeah there is a direct reference, I happened to be writing a particular bit of chapter 9 while it was playing, and decided to do something silly.) This song inspired a lot of how I thought about her feelings about Ed, too.

Surrender My Heart (this is the song that gave me the title) - altho this one I can sometimes see either way, as something she came in with or as something she wrote as it happened?

Sideways

No Thinking Over The Weekend

Songs from the story

These are the songs that she writes over the course of the story, and that as I listened to them, had extra resonance for writing the story. Some of them I associate strongly with particular chapters or sections, or I have strong visuals in my head for them. I tend to imagine her writing them as if thinking from the perspectives of the other characters, too.

Bad Thing Twice - if listening to "So Nice" is the "oh this is her and Ed's song" breakthrough moment in my writing process, this is the "HEY IT'S A WFU SONG" that cemented this album as going with this story. It works so well it's a little spooky tbh. Sometimes I think of it as Ed to Stede or vice versa, but it's also tasty to think of it with her and Mary too.

Talking to Yourself - late in the draft process I solidified that this is the first of the songs that she writes over the course of the story, the couplet that comes to her while taking a break from recording. I tend to think of it also as Ed to Stede, and something of the vibes that she's absorbed from that first chapter with Ed and then from talking to Mary and briefly encountering Stede.

Joshua Tree - speaking of Mary, this is THE song for her and Mary, which is partially the painting references, partially the California driving vibes, partially the lines "California dreaming's never what it seems/But here it comes, I know what I must do now".

Go Find Yourself or Whatever - so I have this scene in my head that I will probably never write, of the foursome sometime after the story going out to karaoke, and ofc some of her songs are there, and Ed and Mary sing this as a duet while staring directly at Stede, who is attempting to disappear under a table.

Keep Away - conversely, this is very much Stede's song, all the way through, and I'm always [bites fist] about "I'm keeping company [...] with all the friends I got from you" in the context of Roach being part of the comedy show scene.

Far Away - not a strong association, but it makes me think of her realizing that she hasn't really known Ed, and in some ways wanting to start over. So a little bit chapter 1, even, and a little bit chapter 10, I think.

Anxious - I think I rotated this through lots of different feelings, and eventually settled on the whole chapter 13 situation, and Ed and Mary, and it's something about the energy of it and also "ooh, boy, you've got a reputation"

Special category: The Loneliest Time

There's two aspects to this: in the story, she's writing it in chapter 11 specifically, so between Berlin and Los Angeles, and it's a duet, and I got to bring in some ambiguous famous male singer (theories and headcanons welcome) that is a bit of a foil and context for her in that and in the following chapters in the recording studio.

But also, at some point very early on, it struck me that if I did this thing successfully -- that is to say, if I fixed it in a way that I personally would recognize as fixed, it would feel like the way The Loneliest Time sounds.

By which I mean: something about the interweaving of the vocals and the depth of the sound and the chord progressions (I think? it has been 1000 years since I did anything with music) and the lyrics and the whole vibe of it. Something about it feels like a resolution, even if it's not perfect or final, it's settled into a new place, one that's hopeful, and that's what I wanted to get to.

(For a while, I thought that if I was able to land it, I would title the fic "The Loneliest Time", but it didn't quite fit - when I made the series for it and A secret third thing and the missing scenes fic I'm working/posting/block on, I decided it works for the set as a whole.)

As a final thought, one of the things I appreciate about this album in relationship to this story is that the songs don't appear to be in a story order. There's no particular story arc or narrative or even necessarily direct relationship between any of the songs. And that worked with the idea that comes up in the final chapter: "It’s not one to one. The story you’re telling isn’t always your story exactly as it is." And before that, when she thinks about putting the music out into the world and it become part of other people's stories.

There's something about that, and about how this story relates to a lot of personal things in a similarly non-linear way, that makes this album feel even more connected to this story.

#my writing #my fic #carlita coded content #I love this album so fucking much #much thanks to anyone who has listened to me ramble about it at length #ironically I got invited to see CRJ in concert just weeks before this obsession hit #and passed for a bunch of complicated reasons #otoh the friend who invited me ended up with an extra copy of the ROSE PINK TRANSLUCENT VINYL and gave it to me

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