I’m a sex-repulsed ace, and reading the latest chapter of 666 (as well as your analysis here on Tumblr) made me realize that I have been subconsciously thinking about MY OWN sexuality from an allo perspective? And that it has kinda been messing me up?? Like, ever since I learned that sexual attraction was actually a Thing and that it’s Important To People, I had been carrying around a fear of being deficient in some way and not being able to love to the same extent as allos. (1)

Even though I know logically that’s complete garbage and totally untrue, I felt left out of the loop because people seemed to care strongly about this thing I couldn’t even imagine. Whenever it looked like a relationship might happen I panicked for a reason that I couldn’t understand. But now I’m starting to realize that it’s because I was subconsciously terrified of an ‘ulterior motive’ behind the other person’s reasons for wanting to be with me. (2) That part of the reason they even cared was because of something I don’t experience. So thank you, because this realization just clicked into place while reading your work. The thing is, this way of thinking was just internalized in such a way that I didn’t even realize it was there until literally this week. And I think you’re right; one of the main reasons behind that is because I’ve always consumed media written from an allo perspective. (3) If ace/aros are shown at all, they’re depicted as “lacking” and their character development usually revolves around being “fixed” by the story. When I was ~10 years old my mom sometimes let me watch the Big Bang Theory with her (looking back, maybe not the best decision). Anyways, there was one episode deep into the series where Sheldon (who for the past nineish seasons was probably the closest thing to mainstream ace rep) has sex with his girlfriend for the first time. (4) Afterwards, he says something along the lines of “that was better than I thought it would be”, and it’s presented as a Very Good Thing and a big step in their relationship. I think a lifetime of stuff like that makes it very easy to internalize aphobia and feel like the lesser part of the relationship. Or to feel like the other partner is making a huge sacrifice to be with you. That got wayy too long, sorry. All that was just a lot of words to say that I appreciate you. Take care of yourself!(5)

The portrayal of asexuality that you see in media being almost exclusively as you described is very tedious to me because it presumes that something is inherently lacking in aro/aceness rather than that feeling of "lacking" being something that is induced by societal norms. Actually, one of the things that I find additionally alienating is that fandom spaces specifically have been getting better and better about ace characters - but got damn does fandom not jive with aromanticism. Like, a character doesn't want to fuck? That's becoming a liiiittle more fine, it's 2024, we stan consent. But not shipping someone romantically?? Not so easy, now.

I'm glad that my work has been something that resonated with you in this respect! Alastor cares a lot about his reputation as a demon but is pretty blatantly a person who could not possibly give less of a shit about being "wrong" for not being experiencing romantic or sexual attraction. The explanation Viv gave at one point for his own understanding of himself (that he thinks he's just "waiting for the right woman") actually stuck out to me a lot because it's a very "well, nothing is wrong with me for not feeling anything, it's the world that's failed to produce a suitable person" perspective.

But having that kind of confident perspective of your own rightness in the world is really not often portrayed in media, or even in fandom, which even ten years ago was still in the throes of standardizing "Oh, no! Me, gay? These feelings are so wrong!" style m/m content and is honestly not that far off from essentially that for aro/ace characters.

Anyway, all of that is to say that there's not yet much out there that doesn't frame allo/amatonormative values as the default that "even aro/ace people can (and should want to) achieve," and that it's really fun to write a fic that is unequivocally from the perspective of a character who is aroace and doesn't see it as even remotely a fault in himself. Does he have moments where he's a little confused and trying to process how things fit for him? Absolutely. But he just doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who thinks he owes romance to Vox of all people, hahaha. I've written him trying to conform to allo/amatonormativity more with Mimzy, because I think the social standards of their time could push him into it, but Vox? Absolutely not, he does not respect Vox enough for it to even enter his mind.

And then, on the other hand, writing it from an aroace perspective centers the way that romantic and sexual interest can feel like a betrayal of a good thing. With a character like Alastor, it frames romantic and sexual attraction the same alien way that we usually see aromanticism and asexuality framed as.

In the end, this is just one of a plethora of different experiences that aro/ace people can have, but it's one that I really wanted to see represented more, so I'm very happy to write it. I'm glad that you're enjoying it!

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; MUN & MUSE - MEME.

FILL OUT & REPOST ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

TAGGED BY: @the-judge-of-bones TAGGING: Steal it

MY MUSE IS:  canon / oc / au / CANON-DIVERGENT / fandomless / complicated

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK  Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. Are they underrated?  YES / NO / IDK / KINDA (They're certainly underappreciated, I think - lots of screaming about 'MURDERBRAT CHARA', not much really looking at them as a character) Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO / KINDA (Depends on your headcanons, but they're literally the instigator of half the worldbuilding so) Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG (The main character is mistaken for them, and will either finally be seen for who they are, or meet them at the end) Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. (Duh. Human Prince of Monsters) How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL (The way I play them, while they're seen as more distant and less approachable than the King, Queen, or the other Prince - they have a reputation for caring and working hard for monsters, and for being, if not easy to work with, then reliable to work with. If they say they'll arrange funding for your work, you can practically start spending the money already.) How strictly do you follow canon?  — Not very strictly at all, really. I diverge in a major way right from the get go, and I have no problems with changing or tweaking details to make them work better, though I'll at least try to get at the -purpose- behind the detail first and see how it can be salvaged.

SELL YOUR MUSE! AKA TRY TO LIST EVERYTHING, WHICH MAKES YOUR MUSE INTERESTING IN YOUR OPINION TO MAKE THEM SPICY FOR YOUR MUTUALS.  —  Regal of bearing, quick of wit, sly of tongue, Determined of heart and dorky of mind. Prince Chara is an exercise in dichotomies, in the liminal spaces between love and hate, hard and soft, hot and cold. If you want to interact with a muse who can be waxing philosophical on the ways feelings can treat and triage emotional wounds one minute and then turn around and flirt through puns the next, here's your enby. If you ever wanted to see what a grown up Chara could have been, here they are.

NOW THE OPPOSITE, LIST EVERYTHING WHY YOUR MUSE COULD NOT BE SO INTERESTING (EVEN IF YOU MAY NOT AGREE, WHAT DOES THE FANDOM PERHAPS THINK?).  —  They're prickly. They trust slowly, and often only at swordpoint at first. They're a Chara, which, well - one of hundreds in the fandom, even if they're a bit different - the differences make them stand out, but also make them closer to an OC, which has its own problems. They like things to go as expected/planned, which can make initial interactions a bit tricky.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?  —  The mystery of Chara fascinated me about Undertale, and I admit to feeling a strong kinship to them - the Sans Genocide fight certainly didn't help there, because _I love a challenge_, and that fight comes part and parcel with Chara in the surrounding fandom materials. It was a surprise when I started hearing their voice and feeling it looking for an outlet, but not an unwelcome one - it took me a little while to refine exactly who and what my Chara was, which parts of common fanon resonated and which to discard, but I'm quite pleased by the person they've grown into through the journey.

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING?  —  Honestly? Nothing did for a while. I had a bad experience with the fandom that put me off for a long while, and then real life got in the way and Chara retreated into the back corner of my head, only coming out for occasional snippets of conversation with their favorite Asriel or to snark on random moments and things I was doing. I'm not sure what drew them more fully out of hiding exactly, but it's been really great to get into the swing of writing them again.

SOME MORE PERSONAL QUESTIONS FOR THE MUN.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / SORT OF? Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / SORT OF? (I have headcanons and little ideas all the time, but I rarely write them out unless prompted, mostly they emerge in actual threading or discussions.) Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO / WHEN PROMPTED (See above, basically) Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO (They're in my head 24/7, along with a handful of other muses sure, but still, it's rare an hour goes by without them chiming in some thought or observation or another.) Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / SORT OF? Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO (For all I often joke about being good for nothing but shipping and shitposting, I -have- been writing fiction for over fifteen years, and RPing for over ten. I'm pretty confident my writing is good) Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO / SORTA (I can be really easy to upset or piss off if a hot button topic's pressed, but I'm generally pretty thick skinned, and I'm learning to be better at catching my temper and working around it.) DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?  —  If it's useful criticism, that's actually about _my_ Prince and not what the reader thinks Chara should be, sure.

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?  — Go for it! I reblog headcanon type memes often enough, toss one at me, or just random questions.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?  —  Depends on the headcanon - if it's a worldbuilding type headcanon, then sure, I'll debate that stuff all day. If it's a personal character headcanon, well... so long as you're framing it as a discussion, maybe? But it's not your headvoice, it's mine, you don't get a vote in how they express themselves.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT?  — Hey, that's cool. If there's something offensive about it, lemme know and I can try to fix things, otherwise, we can hang out on separate parts of the fandom without being forced to interact, you don't gotta love my portrayal to be here, you don't even gotta read my shit to be here.

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?  —  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Not my circus, not my monkey. Bring it -into- my circus and I'll tell you to fuck off.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS?  — Sure go for it

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN?   —  Fairly easy-going, but, well, I'm autistic, I know I'm not always as easy to get along with as I'd like. Still, tell me I'm doing something shitty and I'll stop, I'm not doing it on purpose.