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taintedcigs · 10 months

Text

even if it’s a false god — e.m.

part two; we'd still worship this love

pairing: modern!college!fboy eddie x fem!reader

warnings: smut!!!!!!, 18+, MINORS DNI or ill bite u. p in v, cr*ampie, kinda br*eding kink, unprotected s*x (wrap it up irl angels, this is fiction.), angst angst angst, ASSHOLE FBOY EDDIE!!!, drinking, degrading, swearing, praises, nicknames, vv slight ch*king kink if u squint, some rough stuff.

summary: in which you are friends with benefits with modern!fuckboy!eddie (wc:4.1k)

a/n: i was def thinking of a pt.2 for this while writing it tbh. mr asshole munson needs to repair some hearts!!! also i made the pic in the middle bc i couldn't find a fitting picture w this lyric lmaooo!! did not proof-read!! ignore any mistakes AND PLSS send me ur thoughts ily xo, em

“It was fun babysitting you, sweetheart, but I have to dip,” Steve whispered in your ear with a sympathetic smile, his hand pointing toward the blonde who was impatiently waiting for him.

“What?” You asked, baffled. “Steve, you fucking promised!” You groaned.

“Jesus Christ, do you not have any ounce of self-control?” He asked, and you gave him an intense look.

“Obviously not!” You huffed, arms crossing against your chest, causing Steve to chuckle.

“Robin will come back eventually! And in the mean time, just stay the fuck away from him,” He warned.

“Now, I gotta get laid.” He winked. You tried to open your mouth, but he interrupted. “I swear to god, Y/N, I don’t wanna hear another word from you, you’ve cockblocked me enough this week.” He said, annoyed.

You rolled your eyes, huffing as you stood straight, “Fine! Have fun.” You exclaimed, and Steve grinned, “I will, sweetheart. And you, just... hide from him or something.” He shrugged as he guided the blonde girl out of the door.

Jesus fucking Christ.

You were pathetic, asking for Steve and Robin to babysit you, so that you wouldn’t end up under Eddie again, so that you could at least save some of the self-respect that you were sure probably didn’t exist at this point.

They knew each time you said you were done with him, it was a lie. They knew you’d go back for more, but now it had been two weeks—two whole weeks—where you managed to stay away from him, blocking him for good.

And you could feel yourself cracking; you wanted—needed—him with every fiber of your being, and it was driving you crazy.

He drew you in with whatever he did, like a magnet always pulling you toward him, making you need to be around him, at all times.

You missed the way his hands grazed your thighs, the way he fucked you so rough and senselessly, but also so gently. The way his pretty mouth framed compliments so fucking sweetly, but turned dirty the moment he was pounding into you, praising you but degrading you at the same time.

He was so good at fucking, but was shit at everything else.

Just like you.

So the idea of being friends with benefits sounded like heaven when you first suggested it. No feelings attached, no exclusivity, just fucking each other's brains out while also having someone to chat with afterward.

It was supposed to be simple—so fucking simple.

But the moment feelings got involved, it turned out for the worst. Jealousy was a bitter monster that gnawed at the insides of the two of you, and it had turned into something so incredibly toxic that you knew you had to end it. Your friendship was long gone now, turning into a bitter competition where you either fucked or argued.

Exclusivity was not something the two of you ever discussed, you knew you were bad at relationships, and Eddie knew he wasn’t good at feelings, so it was a topic you always danced around. Arguments ensued the moment one of you fucked someone else, and bitterness was present in your veins like it had always been there.

When Eddie decided to fuck another girl two weeks ago, you decided you were done. This wasn’t good for the both of you, and you needed to stop it as fast as you could.

You knew the emptiness you felt right after you fucked was not worth it, no matter how good Eddie was.

You were tired of sobbing into Steve’s chest drunkenly, confused about what you even felt for Eddie when he was out there fucking another girl.

It was starting to leave a bad taste in your mouth, and you didn’t want to hate Eddie—not more than you already did at the moment.

But there stood Eddie, curly hair laid messily on his forehead as a guitar pick adorned his neck, his infamous leather jacket paired with those black pants were your nightmare—dream—combo, he was sprawled on the couch, thick thighs spread apart, you wished you could part them further with your hands, rub him through his pants as you got down on your knees for him, giving his delicious pink-tip kitten licks as you tasted his salty pre-cum—

What the fuck was wrong with you? You shook your head as you turned around immediately, gazing into your empty cup as you hurried off to the kitchen.

Your cheeks grew hot from embarrassment, you seriously had no fucking self-control or respect.

“You need any help?” Eddie’s voice rang in your ear.

“‘M fine,” You muttered, voice barely audible.

“You know I’ve been lookin’ for you.”

“Why? Did you finally run out of girls to fuck on campus?” You said snarkily, a smirk tugging on your lips.

“Don’t act so fuckin’ innocent now, sweetheart.” He tssked, causing you to throw him a quizzed look.

“Didn’t you go home with Mr. Jock last week?” He was being possessive again, and you hated how it picked up your heart rate, you were stupid.

“So?” You quirked a brow, teasing him, and he gave you a slight chuckle.

That smug asshole, why did he have to always look so good?

“So…how was it?” He asked, and you could feel his jaw tensing as he took a step closer to you, trapping you between the drink stand and his body.

“You’re disgusting.” You groaned as you pushed him away from your face. You were not going to give in.

“That bad, huh?” He mocked, scrunching his nose.

You rolled your eyes. “No.” You lied.

It was bad, really fucking bad; the guy lasted 30 seconds and left you with nothing. That greedy bastard.

But you weren’t going to let Eddie know that.

“He was really good, actually.” You were lying through your teeth, and thankfully, Eddie didn’t seem to notice. An intense rage flashed through his eyes.

“You sayin’ that punk is better than me?” He slurred into your ear, his breath ragged and hot as it fanned against your neck. He smelled so fucking addicting—a mix of sandalwood and nicotine, earthy and making you crave him at the same time.

You don’t even know how he even came to that conclusion, but it was funny, seeing him like this, nostrils flaring as rage filled his veins, like he was in torture hearing about the guys you fucked, he deserved that.

But your silence at his question meant everything to him; he didn’t need an answer. You knew he was better, and he knew that you were crawling closer to his palm now.

He grew more confident because of the way you stuck to him. “I've seen him in the locker room, sweetheart. He’s not that fuckin’ impressive.” You didn’t mean to gasp, but it slipped past your lips quickly.

“Munson!” You warned, a smile tugged on your lips, and you realized how pathetic you were being again, but it was too late now.

“Don’t think he can make you smile like I do, either.” He grinned smugly, his calloused hands quick to pull the strand of hair on your face, to see the way your eyes crinkled when you smiled, so fucking promising.

“You're a jerk,” You spat, groaning as you turned around, trying to avoid him, but it was no use; the damage was done, and you were putty in his hands again.

He had a tight hold on your arm, possessive again, and you were sick for enjoying his rough side. He spun you around to meet him, eyes dark, before he held you in place. “A jerk who makes you feel good,” Eddie purred in your ear, fingers tracing toward your exposed skin, one touch from him, and you whimpered, all that anger fading away so quickly.

He chuckled darkly. “Missed those sweet lil’ whimpers,” He whispered in your ear again, fingers quick to find their way toward your panties.

He drew slow circles with his thumb while you tried to remain tight-lipped, but it was impossible.

“Jesus—fuck, Eddie som—someone could see...” You didn’t mean to throw your head back against the wall. Your eyes fluttered shut, and Eddie shrugged.

“Don’t care, sweetheart.”

“Well, I do.” You didn’t; Eddie could fuck you right here, right now, and you’d be fine with it, but you weren’t ready to admit this to yourself, and you didn’t want to take the chance of Robin seeing you like this.

He groaned as he dragged you into the nearest room. You would’ve cried at the loss of contact if he didn’t have a tight hold on your body, calloused hands gripping at your curves, and your thighs rubbed together at his touch.

Eddie was quick to pin you against the door, his hand curling around the back of your neck. He smashed his lips against yours without hesitating, kissing you the same way he made you feel; explosive, hard, and dizzying.

He pulled back to look at you.

Sweet Jesus.

His gaze was intense, and it made you feel so fucking exposed that it startled a gasp out of your lips.

You fisted his shirt when you had enough, yanking him closer to you so that you could feel his body pressed into yours. Everything you felt was pure hunger, craving him deeply.

Your heart was pounding in your chest when you felt his rock hard bulge grinding against you, calloused hands gripped your ass as you whimpered; you were at his mercy now.

“What were you sayin’ last time? That this would never happen again?” He mocked, whispering against your face, his gaze never leaving you.

Your eyes narrowed, but it was impossible to keep up your act when his fingers started ghosting over your thighs again. “Fuck. You.” You spat.

“You don’t have to ask me twice, baby.” He grinned, chuckling when you whimpered under his touch.

“God, I love those sweet noises you make for me…” He murmured, you rubbed your thighs again at his words. “I bet if I flipped that little skirt of yours… I’d find you gushing for me.” He groaned.

And you remained tight-lipped. God, you didn’t want to feed into his huge fucking ego, and you wanted to wipe that smug smirk off his face.

But he was so right. Your thighs were dampened by how aroused you were.

He was quick to slip his fingers past your panties, a grunt escaping his lips once he pushed past your folds, your slick covering his fingers. He chuckled darkly. “You’re soaking my fingers, honey.”

“I—Fuck—I hate you.” You squeezed your eyes shut, and Eddie reveled in it, his fingers pushing inside of you while his thumb stayed on your clit.

“Always sayin’ shit you don’t mean, baby.” He mocked. “Gonna make you beg for my cock, if you keep’ talkin like that.”

You were panting and head dizzy as he pushed his fingers in and out of you. You were going to lose it, and he had barely started.

When he finally undressed both of you, you were out of it, while his hands were still on your clit as he groaned at the sight in front of him.

You were perfect.

His breath was ragged when he traced your chest, eyes bulging when he realized you had no bra on, pleasure ignited in you more and more when he cupped your breasts, teeth tugging your nipple as his fingers still toyed with your clit.

“Perfect tits, just made for me, huh?” He growled, making you mewl; you were putty in his hands, and with each movement, you were getting closer and closer to beg him for more.

The more you whimpered, the rougher he got with you, curling his finger inside your cunt as he hit that one spot, eliciting a moan from you as you threw your head back.

“P—please.” You whimpered, and Eddie tutted.

“I’ve seen you do much better than that.” He hummed. This arrogant asshole was going to be the death of you.

“P—please, Eds, please.” You begged, and your moans died down your throat, before he slowly dragged his fingers out and shoved them back in.

Your head cocked to the side in pleasure, and he was quick to take advantage of it, licking a path from your neck to your ear, grinning.

“Mhmm… not good enough, baby.” He purred in your ear as you whined, “Jesus fucking Christ—” Your cursing was interrupted when he yanked his hands away.

No. No. No. No!

“Shitshitshit—Please, Fuck, Eds...” You murmured, eyes shooting wide open, “Need your cock inside’a me.” You mewled again.

His dark chuckle reverberated through you, “See, that wasn’t that hard, was it?” He mocked, causing your eyes to narrow.

“You assho—” He didn’t let you finish as he wrapped his hands around your throat, just enough to punish you but just enough for pleasure to course through your veins. And it felt so fucking good.

You shut your mouth quickly, “What were you saying, baby?” He purred.

God, that egotistic prick was pushing you to your last fucking limit; you could do it, you could hold it off. But on the other hand, you could feel yourself pulsing with need; if he didn’t pound into you soon, you knew you would’ve been a pathetic blabbering mess.

“Please, please, Fuck me,” You grunted. “I need you, Eddie.” He didn’t respond as he tapped your thighs, signaling for you to wrap your legs around his chest, and you were quick to oblige.

Mind spinning before you got a chance to process what happened, he slammed into you with a vicious thrust, he was so fucking thick that it made you let out a guttural scream, tears welled at your eyes as you tried to adjust to his size.

It wasn’t long before your loud noises turned into incoherent babbles and squeals as he kept his pace.

“Holy shit, baby,” He groaned, watching his cock sliding into you, “Such a warm fuckin’ pussy, and so fucking tight… Jesus…”

You trembled beneath him, tits bouncing up and down as your mouth hung open each time he slid further into your cunt, and Eddie wanted that image etched into his brain forever.

He tilted you upward, hitting spots you weren’t even aware of. You were quick to wrap your hands around his frame, your nails digging into his back, roughly.

He was the only one who knew you like that; both emotionally and physically, and the same went for you, that’s why the two of you never could truly let each go, clinging to each other like a child did to their favorite toy.

You know no one else could fuck you like he did, and that smug bastard knew it, too.

The way he was pounding into you while uttering curses at your ear, furiously slapping into your body as if you were nothing but his personal fucktoy, truly his.

And you realized how sick you were for liking it, truly enjoying being this way with him.

“You look so fuckin’ pretty when you take my cock, such a tight fuckin’ pussy and all mine, yea?” He panted causing you to nod, you were barely able hold his gaze, and he groaned before his hands roughly grabbed your cheeks, forcing your head in his direction.

“Look at me baby…” He purred, “Look, how well your cunt is squeezin’ me. You feel that, peach?” He sheathed himself further into you, and you could feel your walls clench around him, a contented groan leaving both of your lips.

It was fucking perfect. Everything was rough and messy, there was nothing emotional about the way you fucked. You were both using each other to cum as much as you wanted to, not stopping until you were both sweaty bodies.

He could make you come apart in seconds if he wanted to, knowing your body better than anyone else. And you could make the scary freak Eddie putty in your hands if you wanted to; it was a fucked up game of control that had the two of you going at it for hours.

Was it fucked up? Yes.

Did it feel good? Absolutely.

“Would that asshole be able to make you come apart like this?” He asked, fingers digging into your hips, sure to leave a bruise.

This wasn’t the first time Eddie had been possessive; it was a sick, twisted game that you also participated in, almost as if both of you knew that you could never be with anyone else.

You nodded mindlessly, you weren’t going to give into him that easily, again, he grunted at your lack of reaction.

“Tell me, baby.” He growled, his pounding slowing down to make sure your orgasm was out of reach for you, torturing you until he had you begging under him.

You weren’t sure if you wanted to give up this fast. “Beg me, honey.” His movements picked up, and his hands were quick to toy with your clit, a sharp burst of euphoria rang through your body, leaving you speechless.

You clenched around him—a big fucking mistake—and he grinned smuggly again. “I know, baby, I know you’re close.” He panted. “I can make you cum, angel.” He promised, “Just say the word.”

“Asshole,” You groaned between his forceful thrusts, and he chuckled darkly. You rolled your hips against his when his movements faltered, seeking the warmth and the friction when he thrusted into you fully, filling you to the brim.

And that prick was thoroughly enjoying your torture. “Tell me it’s all mine, that you’re all mine.” He purred against your ear.

You couldn’t. You shouldn’t.

But the way his thumb circled around your clit, so agonizingly slow, and the way his cock was prodding into you so slowly was torture. God, if he just picked up his pace.

Don’t.

You try to convince yourself, but it's to no avail, you are clenching down on nothing, and it hurts. Your hole is pulsing now, and you need him more than ever.

“P—please,” You mewled, causing Eddie to give you a slight smirk. “Please what, baby? Use your words.”

“I’m all yours,” You murmured, “He could never fuck me like you could.” You added, humming contently, when Eddie started to pound into you relentlessly again.

“Please—I need to—Jesus, Eds.” Your words slurred into a moan as he increased his speed, his finger circling your clit roughly.

“Oh fuck, fuck, baby. Feels so good.” He panted. “Please—please make me cum, sir.” You sobbed, unable to hold it back anymore.

And that was all Eddie needed to hear. “Cum for me, honey.” He pleaded, and you gave him low whimpers as he started fucking you faster again, watching the way his cock disappeared into your gushing cunt.

“Wanna feel you cum on my cock, baby.” He breathed.

“Shit, feels so good, Eds.”

“Jesus—Please… I’m going to—” You bit down on your lower lip, unable to stifle the moans leaving your lips as his assault on your clit was enough to bring you over the edge,

“I’m gonna—I’m…Holy shit, oh god!” You sobbed, whole body convulsing in pleasure as you came around his cock, your vision blurred and mind foggy as you didn’t realize how your orgasm was triggering his.

Eddie was whimpering for you now, “So fucking good, holy shit.” He panted, movements getting sloppier.

“I’m gonna cum, fuck, baby. My perfect fucking girl, yea?” He heaved a breath.

“I’m gonna fuck this—Gonna fuck my load into you, peach.”

“Gonna fill you with my cum—Fuuuck.” He growled, animalistic noises escaping him as he exploded inside of you, thick ropes of his warm cum painting your walls.

He groaned when he slipped out, mouth-watering as he enjoyed the sight of you fucked out of your mind, and his load dripping down your thighs.

The relief you had was short-lived as that sinking feeling came to you again, the emptiness, the loneliness.

Was all of it worth it?

The two of you dressed in silence; the weight of what you did was hitting you all at once. You did it again. You had sex with him again. You let him use you again—it didn’t matter if you used him too, it meant something different for you than it did for him.

All those thoughts you had about feeling good faded out quicker than you thought they would.

You were so fucking pathetic.

Jesus Christ.

You felt sick, what the fuck did you just do?

As soon as Eddie got dressed, he gave your cheek a sloppy kiss. He was going to leave you all alone again.

You should be fine with this, this is what always happens.

Don’t—don’t say anything, just take your last bit of self-respect that is possibly non-existent and leave without another word—

“You’re…leaving?” You exhale, your mind racing with ideas.

Shit. Just shut the fuck up.

“Don’t act so coy now, sweetheart.” He gave you a slight smile, but all you wanted to do was slap it out of him.

“We both know what this was.” He muttered, that conceited dickhead still had that smile on his face.

“And what exactly was ‘this’?” You pointed to the space between the two of you.

“Fucking, no strings attached?” He added, shrugging. The fact that he had no clue about anything was pissing you off.

“Unbelievable.” You gave him a dry chuckle.

“What?” He asked, baffled.

“Is that all I am to you, just a warm body?” You said, face crinkling with disgust.

“I’m confused.” Eddie said. “You—you were the one who fucking suggested this.” He breathed.

“Well, I’m un-suggesting it!” You exclaimed angrily.

“You—you are so fucking confusing!” He spat. “I told you—I told you we could be more... told you we could try... us.” He stuttered. “You were the one who refused!”

“You were drunk! You can barely fucking say it now!” You spat back.

“What... what do you even want, Y/N?” He asked, holding his gaze.

“Do you want a relationship? Do you want something meaningful?” He pondered, a sarcastic chuckle escaping his lips.

“Is it so wrong for me to want that? To want something real?” Your voice carried so much emotion, and that’s what killed him.

He couldn’t have a relationship with you even if he wanted to; he recognized his own turmoil, and he feared he would drag you right down with him. No matter how similar you seemed to be, he was sure he’d ruin you, completely and utterly. And not in a good way.

He swallowed physically; the lump in his throat wasn’t going to go away.

He couldn’t let you have hope; he couldn’t let you down again—he had done that enough.

''A relationship with you is the last thing I see myself doing.'' He almost whispered, but you heard it loud and clear.

Your brows were quick to furrow, and your jaw was was set in a tense manner. The lust in your gaze was long gone by now, containing only rage while you glared at the source of your pain.

“Fuck. You.” You spat, tears threatening to spill but you didn’t want to give him that satisfaction

“You are a sadistic fucking asshole, Munson.”

“Jesus… I think we should stop—whatever the hell, this is.” He exclaimed.

“Fine by me!” You exclaimed back cheeks heating up from anger.

“I really am done with you, this time.” Despite the intensity of your gaze, he could sense the subtle vulnerability in your eyes. The subtle pain that was fueling your anger

“Oh, I’m sure you are.” He chuckled smugly. This was something you two had joked about before, but it wasn’t funny now.

He saw you in the palm of his hand because you always came back to him, he was right… until now.

The fact that he laughed in your face at the thought of being in a relationship with you was too much, even for your low self-esteem.

“I don’t care what you think.” You didn’t even hold the rage you held before; only disgust was visible in your tone.

“You’re dead to me.” You replied curtly, your voice distant and chilling.

And Eddie knew how much he fucked up, truly.

There was nothing he could do now.

“I didn’t mean it like—” He regretted what he said immediately, but you dismissed his protests, gathering your jacket in your hand as you slammed the door behind you.

Tears blurred your vision as soon as you left, the lively sound of the party clouded your mind as you silently sobbed, trying to find Robin.

You knew how unattainable he was, and how much he truly hurt you, and as fucked up as it was, that's exactly why you loved him; led by blind faith that it would be different.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fic #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #fuckboy!eddie munson #modern!eddie munson x reader #fuckboy!eddie munson x reader #eddie munson angst #stranger things imagine #eddie munson

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fairyhaos · 1 year

Text

seventeen and being sick

how seventeen will act when they're ill

notes: brief mention of (a fear of) a coma

masterlist

seungcheol:

complains if he's not been given attention for more than two (2) minutes. coughs so pathetically and obnoxiously loudly that you can hear him in the hallway even with his door closed. has to be spoon-fed chicken broth by mingyu. is only Absolutely Terribly Ill for a few days tho, and then he's bustling about trying to get stuff done while sniffling rlly badly and trying to insist he's fine

jeonghan:

is acting like it's the end of the world (1). somehow always manages to get a sore throat n croaky voice every time he's sick??? one time he had a stomach bug which made him lose his voice for three days. dokyeom blames it on jeonghan's croaky cough habit. comes home from work and just collapses onto the sofa like a puppet having its strings cut. refuses to move, has seungkwan bring a glass of water and paracetamol to him

joshua:

eyes get all puffed up n his face goes all pink bc of his fever and basically looks like a baby :( tries to shuffle around the dorm insisting he can function, is shoved back into bed by seungcheol bc a) he looks really ill and b) he doesn't want joshua's germs all over him. sleeps through the worst of his fever, wakes up to drink like three glasses of water n falls back asleep again. gets up w his eyes still super puffy but he's smiling so it's obvious he's feeling better. essentially gets rid of his sickness in two days

junhui:

doesn't get sick. like ever. sometimes he gets a sniffly nose but that's about it. brings hot water bottles to the other members when they're sick, offers to cook them spicy food to make them sweat off the illness. sits in front of their bedroom door while they're resting in their room, yells questions about what they want to eat, when they want to eat, how bad their pain is on a scale of 1 to 10. gets told to go away bc his yelling is giving them a headache </3

hoshi:

is acting like it's the end of the world (2). you can tell when he's sick or coming down with a sickness bc he starts swaying on his feet and is slow to react to things that the others say. bedridden for at least two days. whispers back forlorn messages when junhui comes yelling at his door, tells him to give his love to the other members before he succumbs to his illness. is screaming and running around the dorm not even a week later

wonwoo:

gets really drowsy. tbh it's kinda worrying for them to see wonwoo ill bc he gets rlly pale and starts sweating really badly n can barely keep his eyes open. gets through the worst of the illness in a few days but is holding tissues to his nose for like two weeks afterwards. refuses to go lie down in bed to sleep off the sickness, saying it's not that bad. sneezes so hard that seungcheol swears the whole building is shaking

woozi:

just has a really runny nose and a slight stomach ache, tbh. powers through it by taking a bunch of meds. manages to convince himself that illness isn't real and humans made up the concept of sickness and in fact, he is actually God. sometimes manages to focus so hard on his compositions that he forgets he even felt unwell in the first place

minghao:

the most hygienic about it. carries around hand sanitizer with him, disappears from the room to wash his hands every fifteen minutes, has his pockets stuffed with those little tissue packets. tbh he probably doesn't get sick that often either, due to a rlly good immune system or something. voice goes all croaky n he sounds more sick than he actually is, but it's not as bad as jeonghan

mingyu:

is coughing over every single surface in the house. either is confined to the bed for his sickness or is wandering around insisting that he is definitely not unwell in the slightest. has minghao following his every move with a disinfectant spray and a cloth. gets scolded by everyone when he sneezes into his hand and wipes it on his jeans, is confused why they're all so annoyed about it bc at least he didn't wipe it on them

dokyeom:

nose starts running so badly and has such a terribly high fever. his temperature is so high it's like he's going to burst into flames any moment. is speaking in a teeny tiny whisper the entire time, thinks he's speaking loudly bc his head is throbbing so bad. keeps telling everyone that he feels fine, but "junhui hyung did you get a twin or something bc there are two of you standing next to my bed—"

seungkwan:

is acting like it's the end of the world (3). has a fear of overdosing on paracetamol and accidentally sending himself into a coma, and so refuses to take medicine. drinks the herbal tea that minghao recommends, drinks the chicken broth that mingyu makes whenever anyone is sick, attempts to drink the sauce of some spicy food that junhui offers, almost chokes. he's feeling all better in a week tho, and vows not to fall ill again. that is, until he falls ill once again

vernon:

gets all flushed up bc of the fever. is almost permanently holding tissues to his nose, bc he was an unfortunate witness to that one time that jihoon yelled at mingyu for not wiping his nose properly after sneezing all over the dorm and hansol does not want that to happen to him, thank you very much. still sounds all bunged up even though it's been three weeks since his fever has gone down

chan:

tells the other members immediately when he's not feeling well and that he's going to have a lie down. ends up not emerging from his room for a whole fourteen hours, coughs so loudly and with so much force that his entire bed vibrates. is better by the next day tho, and emerges from his room like nothing happened. minghao tells him he needs to clean his room after staying in there while ill, but keeps forgetting to follow his advice

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xoxitgirl · 5 months

Text

⊹₊ ⋆ seasons results! ⊹ ࣪ ˖

⟡ part one ⟡

so usually I try to write it down from the day i start and document the results from then but I literally forgot lmaoo so heres it broken down into every couple days/every week! ima keep this method tho ngl because its so useful but this is probably gonna be a long post bc i wanna be as raw as possible w ya’ll.

season one: jdnavsthewrld ⋆𐙚 ₊ ˚ ⊹ ♡

overview

so first and foremost—my season is going to be filled with all of my designs blowing up, making hundreds of dollars a week, improving my relationship with my boyfriend, and getting a new charger. I wrote out everything in detail so that way it was easier for me to understand exactly what I want like shipping out orders and stuff in my new car, taking a trip to NY, collaborating with some designers that I really like + meeting some designers as well, having hella photo shoots, etc! so it starts off with me getting a new car, it’s easier for me to process all of my orders and get yarn/make clothing just because I have a more efficient car.

dec 3-10

this week was full of me reminding myself im living in my season and my whole idea is about my buisness blowing up and a new carr so ngl its already blown up a little cause someone posted my skirt but it slowed down and now its picking back up. one thing that I’m trying to remember is that I’m not going to know how good it is to have a lot of sales unless I know what it’s like to have lower sales like understanding the duality of owning a business that not every single day you’re going to have the most ideal amount of sales, but that time to be creative and breathe will definitely lead you to that outcome in the long run. I made 4 sales this week so its definitely making me feel a little like imposter syndrome like this cant be happening blah blah blah but I quickly redirected my thoughts to, “what happens in my season? my business was meant to blow up, this is what I’m meant to be doing.”

dec 11-18

okay I made 6 more sales, when I started I had 25 now I’m at 35 so I feel hella confident because I’m constantly falling asleep doing SATS. I can literally feel all the excitement and anxiety and nerves that come with an abundance of success. I sold my biggest custom order to a new client, this two piece set and a fur skirt so I’m like damn. its only bigger and better from here. another thing I added was me and my boyfriend are getting better and connecting more and I feel like our relationship is definitely growing in a healthier way. I made around $300 this week from my pieces so I cant even be upset if I wanted to (,:

dec 19-25

so okay new updateee I sold another 3 item set so I made another $100 this week, mind you im writing this the 21st so the week’s not even over yet, and I feel hella confident in my season. I finally finished drafting everything thats happening. im also having a lot of fun maintaining that it’s already mine. I literally spend so much time vaunting. I was meant to be a designer. of course I have sales, im that bitch. people loovee my clothes cause who else is doing it like me? literally nobodyy. this is what gets me to feel more confident too, if you’re not reassuring yourself who is yk? and my relationship is sooo goodd 🥺 like its been so peaceful and my bf has been surprising me with pinterest dates and shit like what is my lifee!!

ima come back and update after my moms bday, I always have a routine for the new year which is expelling all old energy. like cleaning my room, donating clothes, i also sage everything, make new sigils, wash my hair and alll my clothes so yeah lol i have a feeling the new energy will be beautiful.

dec 26-jan 2

okay I’ve been learning how to sew and I’ve been getting really really good at it. like making my own pieces by myself—before I used to have my mom help me, but now I actually know how to sew fr. I wanna show y’all so ill insert some things ive made/been making. ngl tho I think ima give it like a week or so more to really saturate my mind because I been listening to this sub by slade and its really been helping but I gotta focus on consistency! so thats really what im focusing on through the 15th so more updates around then!! my goal is to have more posts and get ready for a mini photoshoot.

jan 3-jan 12

jan 4th.. coming up with designs that are exactly what I envision/things that ive never seen knit or done in this style. made my collab post but skeptical about when I should make my collab collection so well see but I feel like the things im making rn are multimillion dollar designs like I can feel it in my core. also about to clean my car out soon to trade my car in for the charger of my dreams, apparently my parents were looking for chargers for monthsss and didn’t tell me cause they wanted to surprise me.. for reference y’all I literally have a charger sub i made 5 months ago and was so in my head about it but now i feel like my mind is fully saturated. every time I drive, it feels like im already in a new car, I imagine it in the driveway. I already have it in the 4d so its beyond mine in the 3d.

jan 7.. omg so update, I literally cleaned my car out today and I’m trading it in on friday like what the fuck is my lifee I knew it would happen but this was the first time where I realy put my foot down and envisioned myself driving the car literally everywhere. I race ppl like im in a charger already lmaoo the planes were bound to align sooner or later!! ill insert how it looks when it gets here yall we might have to order it but this is the first step in my journey—I get my charger, my design acc blows up, and so forth. (;

okay hi guys I made 2 sales recently and I just got my charger, everything literally feels like it’s falling into place and it’s kind of surreal. I think I’m gonna make a part two for my results because this post is getting helllla long but I GOT A 2023 CHARGER STX and tbh I wanted an R/T but the only one I could get was 2015 so im just hella happy I got a brand new car and it looks EXACTLY HOW I WANT—black rims, spoiler, it looks so mean!!! ugh im in love. peep my noface air freshener from my last car (,: and it only has 10 miles yall… I love using seasons so much

next post coming by valentines day! 💋

itgirl ⊹ ࣪ ˖

#vzn #xoxitgirl #seasons challenge

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waitingonavision · 1 year

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Encanto Ficlet: One Fear

Welp, horror and spooky stuff is difficult. I hope this is bearable 😭 Written for @wdtajn Week 2: Horror.

...

Bruno is straddling that fuzzy edge between slumber and wakefulness when he feels it. A squeezing sensation that undulates along his torso—starting at his hips, compressing his belly until it reaches his chest.

Tight, tight, tighter. In the dim light he chokes out a gasp and gives a jerk of his arm. The flailing limb whips up the quilt on his bed like a tent, sends the rats scattering. Suddenly, the awful pressure ceases. Going still, peaceful, Bruno soon tips back toward sleep. The last thing that catches his senses is the sharp bray of a donkey, coming from somewhere in the Encanto…

“Nngh,” Bruno groans. It’s morning. Or at least, time to get up.

He extracts himself from the tangle of blankets and rubs a palm over his face. “…Typical,” he mumbles when he prods the area around his ribs gingerly and doesn’t find the soreness he half-expects. It must’ve been some dream: some leaking vision, twisted into a nightmare. Nothing’s wrong. But he takes a handful of salt from the box beside his bed, and tosses it over his shoulder.

A rumble of his belly pushes away any further thoughts of whatever the dream was. Bruno springs up to get dressed and head downstairs.

It turns out he’s missed breakfast with the family. Casita has fallen completely silent. The kitchen and dining room are devoid their usual noises and laughter as Bruno shuffles about, making quick work of a plate of leftover ground beef and red beans over rice, with a bit of fried egg on top.

Juli must be in town already, Bruno thinks, climbing the stairs above the lifeless courtyard. He’s decided to grab a few things from his room before joining his sister and the others. Pepa might still be home, he realizes; the middle triplet had talked about having a day off.

A voice cuts through the quiet: “I thought I heard you!” Bruno sees Antonio rushing over. The boy barely gets in a hug when he pulls away with a harsh shout, as though burned. His eyes widen; Bruno watches tears form in them while Antonio stares, takes a step back, then another.

“¿T-tío Bruno? But… why? I don’t- No, no!”

“W-huh-wha—? What is it??” Bruno flaps his hands in distress. He tries to understand, to offer comfort, too, but Antonio is crying in earnest now, his small face fearful and disbelieving. With one final wail of No! Antonio runs in the direction of his mother’s bedroom.

A chill sweeps through Bruno’s gut, making him feel faintly ill for a passing second. The dream he had flickers across his mind, and he pushes down the chill, throws more salt and some sugar for good measure. He has to follow Antonio (his stomach clenches; this time from recalling the look on his sobrinito’s face), and hopes Pepa can help.

The air shifts, becoming damp and dense, crackling with electricity, the closer Bruno gets to Pepa and Félix’s room. He can hear sniffles within, and just as he’s reaching for the doorknob, the door flies open.

Pepa’s thunderclouds burst over their heads. “What the hell, Bruno?!”

The younger sibling flinches. “Peps!” He squeaks. “I-I-I don’t know! Wait, t-there was this dream—ah, no, it doesn’t matter. I-I just. Didn’t mean to make Toñito cry!”

“Then what. Happened.” Pepa delivers two good pokes to Bruno’s waist, followed by a sharp, shocked gasp and a blast of frigid wind as she recoils, yanking her hands to her chest.

She breathes, “Dios.” It starts to snow. “Oh. Oh. Brunito. ¿Qué? No… We need… Julieta—Does she know?!”

Bruno feels that chill again, and this time, he allows himself to shudder.

“What is going on?” He asks, voice coming out steadier than he feels.

His sister responds by taking him by the hand and tugging him into her room, where Antonio is seated on the bed with his knees drawn up and tucked beneath his chin.

“…You haven't noticed?”

“Clearly not," he deadpans as he's positioned in front of the full length mirror.

“Mira,” Pepa says cautiously. She gestures at his shirt before moving back to sit next to her son.

Bruno sighs, and starts undoing the buttons there. As his shirt falls open, he sucks in a breath. Oh, no.

Where his belly should be, fattened over time and from many healing meals—

He shivers, squeezes his eyes shut.

It’s worse than he could’ve imagined...

—A firm plane of sculpted muscle.

Abs.

#encanto #bruno madrigal #pepa madrigal #antonio madrigal #wdtajn #my writing #my fics #stuff i've posted #under the WIRE #gotta edit this lol #truly on-brand horror #😱

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rollercoasterwords · 2 months

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I've heard of ppl complaining about ur writing speed and posting schedule but it's honestly ridiculous. like you actually write insanely fast. it is incredible that you have managed to write over 150,000 words (in very high quality writing might I add 🫶) in like 10 months !!

thank u lol honestly i feel like i’ve had relatively little bs 2 deal w compared 2 the flack i’ve seen some other fic writers get etc but i have def like. had conversations w some other fic writers abt how strange it feels 2 get people immediately commenting on chs like “when will the next ch be out?” or sending messages etc asking abt posting schedules…idk i have conflicted feelings bc on the one hand im like well maybe i just did this 2 myself by having unusually fast & consistent posting schedules at various points w past fics but on the other hand i do try 2 make it v clear when like. my posting is gonna slow down…& also i v much do not think it should be considered standard 4 people 2 be updating wips weekly or monthly etc like when i was writing a fic 4 a different fandom before i joined this one i took like a four month break in the middle of posting w no warning & no one complained abt it lol.

& it’s also like. i do understand that none of those comments/messages etc r ill intended & usually people will tack on a little ‘no pressure!’ but unfortunately i am going 2 pressure myself regardless…which i have had 2 actively work on bc i was like. i cannot keep stressing myself out over arbitrary deadlines i set for something that’s supposed 2 be a hobby!! so i might just be extra sensitive abt it now & if one of those messages catches me on a day where im stressed abt other stuff etc (frequent occurrence recently lol) then like. no matter how nicely it’s phrased it still doesn’t feel nice. & i understand wanting 2 know but i also don’t think u should read a wip unless ur actually prepared 2 a) deal w the story however it goes [separate complaint that i’ve been discussing w my fic writing friends lmao] and b) wait however long it takes 4 chs w no expectations abt regularly-scheduled posting. so!

anyway not sure 2 what extent this is like a new phenomenon or expectations have actually changed…one friend who’s been like. writing fic way longer than i have told me they do feel like there’s been a sort of shift across various fandoms w this new expectation that fic writers r posting regularly quickly & consistently. like maybe bc fic has become more ‘mainstream’ etc there are an influx of people who r bringing in new standards that sort of echo what they’d expect 4 other forms of media but like. when u take a step back & think abt it it’s a little wild 2 want or expect some random guy 2 be providing u w weekly entertainment for free…have seen a few people being like “ugh we need a new big wip that everyone’s reading & talking abt” & im like. oh so u want someone 2 kill themself lmao like everyone i know who’s had their fic treated like the fandom’s ~tv show~ that they tune in for every week has had a horrible horrible time lol

#ask #if other fic writers have had similar experiences & wanna discuss u know where 2 find me…i love 2 complain etc….#but yeah just had a v long convo w some friends abt this so. lots of thoughts!!#wfrau

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pinkmoondoll9shihtzu · 4 months

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Omg PMD9 ,HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR ! ❤️‍🔥🌙💘♥️♥️♥️

Today i went to a live drawing session with friends &met new people , im trying to put myself out there more and have EXPERIENCES. this year i want to visit lots of drag shows .

Feeling truly hopeful..

Wishing you the best . How has today been for you ?!always glad to see you around ......U always make me remember deeply important invaluable truths

🌛🌞🎇🎆🌍🌎🌏💫

- Mantis💗

AWHH Hapy Lunar New Year |\/|antis ty for the wishes 🪷 Ok we are aligned or something cus i dont even think ive posted about it on main yet but i started doing irl figure drawing sessions recently !! i only did 2 so far then last week had car trouble but will b back on my grind monday.. At first i was nervous to try soemthing so bold but its sooooooo funnnnn omg its . So fucking fun & stimulating for my brain plus spending focused time around other artists, inspiring.....Makes me wanna try Actualy drawing again :3c once this music stuff is out of the way ill spend some more time w it ..

But yeah its been thr perfect way to insert myself into the-~Real~world~~~its cool its so cool. learning lots about anatomy too. EXPERIENCES ftw 👍👍👍congrats on your real life stuff happeneing too dont give up🫶

my day was chill and amazing it has been snowing all day biggest snow dump since 2009 theyre sayin!! So i just stayied inside n worked onn music. i put red ribbons on all the dogs for good luck.❤️

ty again for ur message i always adore ^--^ Sincerely, -PmD9🎶🎶🩷🎶

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toodrasticallydumb · 7 months

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20 questions for fic writers

Oh! Hello! I was tagged by @pinkytoothlesso11 ! Thanks for thinking of me pinky! I’m kinda new to the whole fanfic scene so i really appreciate it! This was already a long list of questions to begin with but i fear i may have made it worse…

OH WELL HAVE FUN SPORT :}>

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Unfortunately just 2, though I do plan to add a few more in the future as ideas flow. Might take me a minute ‘cause my schedule is just a little bit kinda sorta really swamped down with my main child which requires let me you, A LOT OF CARE DONT SIGN UP TO ADOPT KIDS PEOPLE IT’S NOT—

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Phew. ummmm it changes very rapidly (because i’m a girl w suspected adhd and can NEVER be told to shut up) with every chapter but as of this moment is 228,665! wow! i don’t really know how great of a number that is but i’m sure it’s a lot! I told you I can never shut up! (-whispers- Hey kid, u want some dRuGs? i mean- an update? That itty bitty word count is about to take another not regularly scheduled mini-skyrocket so get ready for it ehehe ;})

3. What fandoms do you write for?

For now, just Trollhunters/Tales of Arcadia, mainly Trollhunters despite the fact that the first of the Tales of Arcadia shows that i watched and really enjoyed was actually 3-Below, but oh well my man is in Trollhunters sooooo oopsie but i DO have some random snippets of fics for Miraculous (rewrite), the Star Wars sequels (rewrite), Batman, some for the Dream SMP, and weirdly enough also Raya and the Last Dragon (rewrite). All of which i prolly wont ever post because i wrote them a while ago and yeaaaahhh not my best writing but if i get enough people other than my best friend wanting me to post them, i might…

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

uhhhh i dont actually HAVE five fics to my name, so i’ll just…put em in order (w their long-ahh title names):

Trollhunter!Strickler: Destiny's Ill-fitted Chosen

'A MiStAkE' because I haven't updated in ages--A Stricklake month 2023 prompt collection

but i am so happy for the people who have left so many kudos on my work it really warms mah little heart ❤️

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes. At first, I sorta struggled with it (who the heck am i kidding i STILL do) but since my fic USED to be two times a week updates i would feel like i couldn’t respond to a comment left after i posted a new chapter so i might’ve left some comments in the earlier days unanswered, super sorry. Nowadays i make it a point to reply back to everyone in the order that they commented in because (anxiety makes me think if i don’t respond they won’t comment anymore and know that i love reading their comments and that they’re so amazing for actually taking the time to write something back AND I DO LOVE IT I PROMISE IT JUST TAKES ME A WHILE TO RESPOND—) …because it’s pretty chill to geek out w em and see they liked stuff that i loved to write! I do have a backlog of comments to get to i just end up overthinking everything to match the person’s energy to be sure they know i love em.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Unfortunately, i haven’t actually finished a fully-fledged fic to say it has the angstiest ending bUt definitely a contender would be chapter 1 of my 2023 Stricklake prompt collection because i just leave it on the sad note and don’t do anything about it because angst and because spoilers for my actual story fic that will eventually make it to that point.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Happiest ending, huh? I like to say that most of the things i will/have chosen to write end happy/hopeful because i hate when books/tv shows end bittersweetly it’s like i have enough with life itself being bittersweet most of the time let me be happy LET THEM BE HAPPY. But that doesn’t exclude me from providing the proper banquet of angst that ends in caretaking, my absolute favorite trope.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Oh heck no. I would be devastated honestly, but thankfully everyone who comments is always the sweetest and kindest people ever and really encourage me to keep going, for that i am only thankful.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No. Just no. I love romance but i am a minor, so i’ve never consumed smut nor intend to ever write it. Give me a soft romance and loving gestures, I can allude to greater happenings but not details.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I don’t, sorry. I don’t know something in me just doesn’t sit well with crossovers, for the life of me I don’t know why. Like genuinely i wish i could get into them but maybe it’s like food on a plate? i don’t like the foods touching each other so maybe the same rules apply??? yeah i’m drasticallydumb

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that i know of, no.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t believe so, and if someone did they’re in for a heck of a lot of work there…

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope! I’d like to sometime but i have no idea how one even goes about making a co-written fic, on top of which i am a very sporadic person in terms of motivation and random ideas produced by a song i’m listening to while writing.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Stricklake obviously is a really big contender if not the winner, the ship that brought me to AO3, writing fanfics, and tumblr. But, if i had to pick other options i’d say Eugene and Repunzel from Tangled would be one of my ogs, another might be uhhh Chris and Aviva from Wild Kratts the og of the ogs.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Chapter 3 of my stricklake 2023 prompt collection, it just has a lot of moving parts and me and my best friend are chronic procrastinators and with the month pretty far gone it might just end up sittin’ there for the foreseeable future 😞 but who knows

16. What are your writing strengths?

Phew, that’s a dozy mainly because i’m not super sure. I’d like to think one of my main strengths is descriptions and really putting you in the mind of the character, i don’t really like spelling things out and i like a little investigating to get you where u end up, u know? I like to think my writing FEELS a little more like a show on a page rather than a true book, most to blame would be my maladaptive daydreaming taking up a lot of time in my planning for my writing.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Ah. How the turn tables. I would say that my weaknesses in writing mostly consist of me going a little *too* far into detail on meaningless things or making it too convoluted for people to understand, sometimes spelling it out is better in certain scenarios and i just really need to get myself past that. Another one i would say is that i go REALLY into detail not only in a sentence/chapter sense but also a complete STORYLINE sense, i hate time skips and i shoot myself in the foot wanting to completely document every moment of everyday w a character and hence it seems like a lot of time in universe hasn’t gone by. Trying to improve and grow tho 💪

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Can’t wait to do more of it! Especially with Claire and her family (including NotEnrique) speaking spanglish w each other automatically mainly because i am hispanic and completely fluent in Spanish and live in a similar household so i just love to add a little ✨personalization✨ to my dialogue and interactions in that way. Other languages………….yeaaaahhh i’m not super good will prolly use google translate and hope.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Trollhunters, my gateway into AO3. HOWEVER. if you promise not to tell, the very first fandom i read/wanted to write a fanfic for was actually, as far as i can tell, Wordgirl. don’t ask why. don’t ask me how. it just kinda happened. But, officially, it’s Trollhunters. (maybe with a side of Warrior Cats).

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Not hard at all! My pride and joy, my youngest baby in the grand scheme of my writing journey, Trollhunter!Strickler: Destiny's Ill-fitted Chosen! A surprise to absolutely NO ONE. It’s honestly so amazing to both write and see people read and enjoy as much as I do, he’s my little man ❤️ And doing so much rewriting and character growth and having so much written and planned for the future, it’s just my absolute fav

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moving-to-dreamwinged · 8 months

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OK HEY soooo sort of an update under the cut regarding sharing / other tangentially related selfship stuff !!

feel free to not read , i put it under the cut cuz its long/not super important but yea ;3

so idrk how to word this but basically since iv started hangin out on tumblr my views on selfshipping have changed a lot!!! i honestly was not expecting everyone on here to be so lovely and accepting and im so happy to be in a community i feel so comfortable in :'3

but!!! basically: with the nature of me not being open abt f/o on here things have gotten lowk really complicated LMFSJDFJHSF long story short i ended up having to sb a moot today bc i didn't realize we shared a main </3 i feel really bad abt letting that slip thru the cracks, but i just honestly did not know until i saw smth they reblogged today; and i wanted 2 respect their "dni if we share" !

however at the same time as this my views have also changed on sharing !! one week on selfship tumblr and im much more relaxed about it,,, crazy. tbh youre ALL canon and real to me even if we share cuz different versions n multiverse theory n all that. ;p SO

i realized that im comfortable interacting w/ people that i share w if it's not one of their mains, and if they state that theyre comfortable sharing on their profile bc ofc i wanna respect their boundaries!! so from now on i think thats prolly gonna be how i go about things bc it honestly just doesnt trigger me anymore yippee yahoo.

i know tht might be worrisome tho for some who dont wanna view content potentially centered around a character they *also* are dating so if that concerns you, feel free to reach out to me and ask me if we share, ill tell u!!!

or u can just block my #. 🔮 tag entirely bc that covers anything posted w The Blorbo in mind. i will never explicitly post a character tho so dont worry about being triggered either way! (yeah im prob never publicly revealing sorry)

sorry this is so long and probably WAY deeper than it actually is but im so new here and idrk the ettiquette so i just wanna make sure i dont unintentionally hurt anyone! tbh i never expected anyone to see or interact w this blog in the first place (my policy at first was . "i dont feel comfortable naming my f/o but if we share i wont interact w u!!" not accounting for the fact that ppl could interact w ME first... LMAO i just didnt expect everyone to be so nice and welcoming 😭) and im so grateful to have virtually met all u guys and ur lovely f/os ;3

anyway x o x o SORRY THAT IS SO FUCKING LONG oh my god anyways. back to ur regularly scheduled programming

#.info #f/o #self ship

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mayssa-m · 4 months

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I have a string feeling this summer is gonna be the one usually previous summers ik even if i have no plans plannified, summer is still gonna turn out really good as i dont study, reunite w my family(especially my cousins) sleep over at their house they sleep over ours, sleep late, wake up late, go to the beach, the sun, getting tanned, losing weight, n its all good vibes especially at night its really animated at night n its really positive vibes out there its jus life, but this one in particular, i will not feel like i have to study but im not doing it, this one im done with my 2 years journey n im passing my exams this may-june, n ill forget n start a new beginning on september, so i wouldnt have to study for sht as its a fresh new start, im getting my first laptop (the old ones are really old n i gave up on them this would be a sofisticated one n id feel up to date with something modern), im starting my journey, i would work out 5 days a week, swim, idk about sleeping early as its nearly unbelievable to do especially that my family is over, id jus feel mentally overall free tbh, focus on building my career for 2 months straight, i would probably also have a new room w my sister so id feel better environment wise, n i would carry my laptop almost everywhere i go, for the sake of motivation n variation in my environment i would work 70% of the time away from home n home would be my confort zone, but just to not feel overwhelmed, stressed n “i hate myself so much” i would workout, shower (away from home), n then walk or by car go to a public place such as a cafe, mall, library,… in order to be away from home n still got this motivation, work for like 2 hours n get back home n do something different such as practicing guitar n i would really love to spend more time w people (which is something i automatically do a lot during summer as i dont got school n feel overall more confident of myself n open to people) so this time this feeling would be more, when i say that id be my cousins, mom, dad, grandparents, i would also like to go out w people from my school which i really dont talk to that much n be as human as possible with them n thats really it

•so id do all the productive sht i would need to get done when im by my own in the beginning of the day, with that being said id have to wake up early, n then for the rest of the day my time would be more flexible n i can do more enjoyable stuff for example hanging out with people once my everyday work was done earlier in the day

N thats really it

I wanna get back to this the last day of my exam

•get a laptop

•being satisfied with the way ive done my exams

•(optional: having material)

•not gave up on working out

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shylemon0 · 2 years

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Knitted Mittens (Gotham!Jonathan Crane x Reader)

He’s so cute I could cry!

(Why did this almost take 2 months for me to complete 😳😟)

(I have a taglist now! It’s on my pinned post if you want to know more about it!)

Warning: angst, using R instead of y/n, implied mistreatment of mentally ill/disabled people, scars, Gotham Asylum sucks, guilt, manipulation

(Gn reader) ———

I looked at the gates of Gotham Asylum as I got off the bus; really excited to see Jonathan again, it’s been 4 weeks since I last could come visit him which is way too long in my opinion, I finally took a step towards the gate and started walking towards the front entrance, “Oh! Young R, Nice seeing you this afternoon, Are you here to see Jonathan as usual?” The nurse greeted and asked as she saw me walk towards her desk, “yup just as usual” i said with a smile on my face “oh I almost forgot-” I reminded myself as I reached into my bag “i made these for Jonathan, I hope it’s okay if I give them to him-” I said as I laid a pair of knitted mittens on the desk “-l know the rules are super strict and all but I really hope I could just give him these- oh and you can of course give them a check if you’re concerned about me bringing something I shouldn’t, I heard what happened a few days ago with the sharpened pen someone brought in” I rambled, she only smiled and said “I’m sure you could bring these in dear, but yes I do have to check them just in case” I only nodded in response and pushed them closer to her for inspection.

Once the nurse finished looking over the stuff, she gave them back to me and stood up to walk me to Jonathan’s room, we were walking down a hallway that was right next to a common area where a lot of the other patients were socializing, “R! Hello!” Greeted a patient I’ve seen a couple times when I came to visit Jon previously, “Hi Steve, how has your art project been going?” I ask giving him a little smile “it’s going great! I could show yo-” Steve got interrupted by a doctor yelling “Steve stop bothering the guests” “but I-” Steve tried to say something before he got grabbed by the arm and dragged away, I kept my eyes on them for as long as I could, this place is horrible.

We turned a corner as she took out her keys to Jonathans room, the second we stood in front of the door she opened it and stepped in front of me for a second “Jonathan you have a visitor” she loudly said startling Jonathan by the sudden loud noise, I could hear movement in the room before the nurse stepped aside letting me walk into the room, the door shut and I quickly got bombarded by Jonathan throwing his arms around me “i missed you” he whispered into my neck, I couldn’t keep myself from smiling of the feeling of having him around me again “i missed you too Jonny” I hugged him back before he let go still keeping his hand in mine, he lead me over to his bed and we both sat down “I’ve got something for you” I softly said with a small smile on my face “really?” Asked surprised that you were able to bring it in “yeah, now cover your eyes” l smiled at him, he put his hands over his face and I leaned down and grabbed the gift from my bag.

“okay you can look now” I said cheerfully, Jonathan slowly and hesitantly moved his hands to his lap and opened his eyes to see my arms reached out with the gift in hand, “here you go” I giggled as he grabbed his gift and started to take a closer look, “w-wow! Did you made these?” Jon asked with a smile growing on his face “yeah, I know it gets pretty cold here during the night so I thought I’d just make you something” I explained as he put the mittens on his hands “thank you” he said as he quickly hugged me once again “I’m glad you like them” i said as I put my arms around him, he rubbed his face into my neck “I love you so much” he whispered so quietly that I almost didn’t hear it “I love you too Jonny” I whispered back as I laid down on my back with Jonathan in my arms, his head rested on my chest as I played with his hair.

We laid there and just talked about memories for an hour or two, it ended up in Jonathan looking up at me and me looking down at him as I had him in my arms, I caressed his face keeping my eyes on his face, my fingers slowly slid up to his forehead and scalp when I felt something by his hairline, I frowned as I moved his hair to see what it was when I saw scars, electric burn scars, holy shit what are they doing to you I thought as I sat us up and looked back at him with shock and sadness, he looked ashamed, “when did this happen?” I quietly asked, he frowned and looked down “Jonny?” I whispered as I carefully caressed his face making him look at me “I-.. They said it wou- would fix it- me” he stuttered “it didn’t” he said a little louder as his eyes averted away from my face, I pulled him in and held him pecking small kisses on the top of his head “please don’t be ashamed of what they did to you, it’s not your fault, it was never your fault” I whispered into his hair, Jonathan put his arms around me clinging to my shirt as he started to sob into my shirt, I rubbed his back to comfort him “you didn’t deserve to have that happen to you Jon, please know that” I whispered into his hair “you deserve nothing but love and happiness” I continued to whispered as my eyes watered, his tightened grip loosened as his sobbing turned into sniffing, I slightly pulled away as I pressed my lips on his scars and slowly trailed kisses down to the bridge of his nose and all the way down to his lips, I held his face slowly rubbing circles with my thumb over his cheekbone, I pulled away only to quickly give him 2 small pecks on his lips before I fully pulled away looking over his puffy face “i love you” I whispered as I wiped the tears of his face and leaned my forehead against his closing our eyes.

Staying there saying sweet nothings to each other, enjoy each other’s presence we leaned against the wall the bed was next to looking into each other’s eyes,

we sat up straight as we heard the lock on the door open, “Young R your visiting time is over for today” said the nurse standing in the doorway with a tired smile on her face “oh um, okay” l quietly answered as I was about to stand I could feel Jonathans grip on my hand tighten “please don’t go” he whispered as he hid his face into my arm, I sat back down and carefully grabbed his face “I’ll be back in a week or two Jonny, I promise” I whispered as i caressed his face looking into his eyes “okay” he said as he let go of my hand as I pulled him into a hug “love you” I whispered and he whispered it back as I pulled away and stood up giving his hand a goodbye squeeze as I let go and walked towards the nurse who was patiently waiting for me.

I gave Jonathan one last good look for a while as the nurse closed and locked the door, “alright I’ll just walk you out then-” the nurse started before a man walked up behind me “don’t worry miss ill take care of this one” the voice of the warden said as he put a hand on my shoulder, the nurse mumbled a okay before scurrying away and i turned to look at the man behind me, “this way” he said as we started walking down the corridors.

“Young R it was lovely having here but i think your time visiting here is done” he said casually as we were walking, i stopped dead in shock “what?” i ask as he stops walking and turned to look at me “you are not allowed to visit anyone in this asylum anymore” he said as he turned back and continued walking, i hurried up to him “I've put you on our blacklist, so if you ever come on our grounds again after today you'll be escorted out by security” he said as we can see the exit, “w- wait what?” I ask in disbelief as I quickly looked up at the warden “you can’t do that” I mumble “Yes I can for the well-being of my patient, he’s been getting worse and worse every time you’ve visited him, so I have to stop your contact with Young Crane” he said in an monotone voice with an unsettling look in his eyes “I’ve been making him worse?” I whisper apparently loud enough for warden to hear “That’s correct, now you must leave and don’t come back unless you want security to deal with you” he said nudging me towards the exit, “Goodbye now Young R, and I really do hope you respect our choices, for Jonathan’s sake” he said standing by the exit opening the door, still in shock i stare at him my brows burrowed and slowly nodded as I took a breath and walked out of the Asylum not fully processing the fact I won’t be able to see Jonathan anymore or at least not for long.

The Warden watched as R left with a smirk on his lips and turned to go to Jonathan’s room for his ‘punishment’.

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