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lugarn · 5 months

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Sex Worker Camp & Groundbreaking in Playboyy

You might say that sex worker camp is a genre that doesn't exist.

You'd be wrong! For as long as there has been camp, there has been sex worker camp. Buckle up for a long meta!

I think the easiest, most well-known example of camp that touches on SW camp is Rocky Horror! Rocky is literally a gay sex bot in a narrative that's about exploring your sexual desires against the backdrop of what society has told you those desires are. He got to figure out what his desires were, even though he was created for a particular purpose!

Sex work camp also engages with the fears of sex workers, since camp often engages (in ways that sometimes seem absurd) with the fears of the characters. I don't mean specifically a character's personal fears as much as I mean their fears for the role society has determined they have. We in theory have no caste systems in most countries today, but sex workers are still somehow usually at the bottom of the social hierarchy despite that.

That's a thing I love about sex work camp: the juxtaposition of desire and knowing that whatever desire you have has little place because you have a job or are performing a role. Ownership and roles are themes that are visited and revisited in Playboyy. In every single episode, there are questions about who owns who, and what the person being owned feels about the fact that they lack freedom, and exploring the ways in which every single one of the workers chooses or doesn't choose to be owned.

The longer the show goes on, the deeper and more extreme we have gotten with roles and the limitations of roles, from the question of Zouey and his desires in episode one to the fact that Porsche and Prom are both sugaring for the same daddy and the things that means for both of them. There's been a satisfying (campy) heightening and recommitment to the theme in every episode with the roles and ownership becoming more and more complex and interconnected.

Another theme of sex work camp that is visited and re-visited is "characters doing sex work enjoy sex/sex work". Why? Because the dominant (heteropatriarchal) narrative is that sex workers are doing that job because we've been forced/"Circumstances".

I know this is really putting myself out there, but I know people must be wondering, so let's go there: here's my connections to sex work! I grew up in a family where consensual, by-choice sex work was normalized and I spent a lot of time passively absorbing information about sex work and the people who do it. My family is incredibly sex-positive; a member of my family was a madam pre-covid; former and current sex workers are the celebrated decades-long partners of multiple members of my family. That's just my background, though.

Most of my own personal experience is survival sex work--exchanging sex for things that meet your immediate needs, most often done by people living on or adjacent to the streets, often those with gaps in education. I was homeless at the time I was doing it; I didn't graduate high school. My story has been told a hundred times by a hundred different people. This is part of why I am so passionate on the subject of other narratives about sex workers and other types of sex work getting a chance to feature in media; my story is not just represented but over-represented. But the stories of people I know and love who engaged with the sex work industry far longer than me are still nowhere to be found.

Playboyy showcases sex workers as full people, no different than the rich boys they are dating/'dating', using their full agency to decide what are the best options in their own situations. It treats these decisions as correct and meaningful and doesn't treat the act of choosing sex work as pitiable or an inherently negative choice. The narrative also doesn't punish the characters for doing sex work.

(I'm aware it seems very much that Nant got hurt during sex work. They are going to great pains to humanize that pain, but there are other people whose narratives aren't about them being hurt by sex work: Teena, Soong, Jump. That's how you show a well-rounded story.)

This is the most obvious aspect of the subversive way Playboyy showcases sex work, but Playboyy's also gotten into so many other important things that people who aren't aware of sex worker priorities don't realize might be important.

If you've read opinions from sex workers or spoken to us it's very likely you've heard what problems we have with past portrayals of sex work and sex workers in TV/movies, but if you haven't, people much more qualified to write essays than me have written much better, journalist-quality pieces. Chaospikachu produced some pretty good sources on this post; they are good jumping off points that will give you ideas about what things to google further if that's your jam. (And you should google further--people have been talking about these things since usenet.)

In my experience, many former and current sex workers watch media with us in it because we love us even if society doesn't. I approach media featuring sex work skeptically and expect to be disappointed, but in spite of that approach I have found myself pleasantly surprised so far with Playboyy. The show does have problems, of course--no piece of media is without fault--but there's not much comparison for what they're doing because they've committed so fully to the ideal of 'sex worker camp' that in six (of fourteen) episodes they've already gone leaps and bounds past the places other media stopped.

Here's a little list of other things I've seen in Playboyy that I either haven't seen elsewhere or have seen so rarely that it's still groundbreaking:

SW and clients navigating starting/maintaining a relationship! This is sometimes taboo to talk about, but it happens. It happens a damn lot. Humans are humans, we just fall in love sometimes but this isn't an experience that gets to typically be seen in a complete, unflinching way. There are good parts and bad! I've known people who made it work and I've known people who crashed and burned; there are a lot of really predictable hurdles to pass and Teena/Zouey, Nuth/Phop, and Soong/First are showcasing these in a way no other media I've seen even tries to when depicting this type of relationship.

So many different types of sex work, and sex workers not sticking to one type of work either! This is much more realistic and reflective of my experiences; making money at sex work is often a matter of a lot more weaving of separate hustles together than people who aren't used to poverty seem to have the ability to understand. I can only think of a few very specific and specialized types of sex work that I haven't seen in the show yet and that's weird and wild (positive)! Normally there's one, maybe two or three types of sex work in evidence in a show about sex work so having lots of different types all co-existing is beautiful to me.

Sex workers fucking sex workers for fun and experience! It's so common in my experience but it's not something I've ever seen done before, and the way that they are showing many different types of ways of this happening makes me even happier. (So far we've gotten us having sex with us in these circumstances: for clients, as a means of protection, as a way to 'prove' yourself, and for tutelage.) There can be a real feeling of camaraderie and competition with fellow workers sometimes and Playboyy captures this like nothing I've seen before.

Sex workers having boundaries! Even mid-sex. And the boundaries aren't treated as a joke or a comedic moment that the client then disregards. They're moments of real communication where the boundary gets respected or the encounter ends, for better or worse.

Sex workers having nuanced, complex feelings! Not just about the sex work, but also the events in their lives and each other. Their relationships are complex and give glimpses of how much more there is to be uncovered! Partying, laughing, being angry, being verklempt, finding enemies and finding family with each other. Crying, too, yeah. But there's a whole spectrum of feelings on display beyond the normal tragic ones that are 'allowed', including the desire for sex inside and outside of sex work.

Everyone communicates to the best of their ability! This isn't just a sex worker thing--it applies to First and Zouey as well--but it's normal for media about sex workers to actually involve a lot of misunderstandings that don't get fully discussed. The misunderstandings between characters Playboyy get treated as serious and discussed in a way I haven't seen other BLs show before. Misunderstandings aren't a chance for Plot to fester, but rather a chance for reconciliation. It's just plain great modeling of healthy communication.

All of this and more adds up to Playboyy being a show that knows who their intended audience is and commits to that audience over and over week after week. Not by painting our experiences as flat or singular, but by fully committing to showing a very wide swath of our experiences and humanizing every single choice. You don't have to understand or like the show for these things to still be huge and important for SW representation.

Playboyy is just casually doing what it's doing regardless of the larger opinion, which is the most sex worker camp part of it all. The show knows what it is about even if fandom hasn't figured things out yet.

#playboyy the series #playboyy #playboyy meta #if you can't see this directly because i have you blocked i don't care if you dodge the block #my blocklist isn't personal #it's there to make navigating the site less stressful for me

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keefechambers · 3 months

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I wanna be blunt about this ongoing James somerton suicide threat issue but I don't want to connect it to my IRL Twitter to comment on the dogshit takes I'm seeing there or the good and well meaning but maybe too kind takes I'm seeing here.

Obviously, I hope that this is a false alarm cry for help fake threat. Yes, it would reinforce that Somerton is a self-centered egomaniac who can't handle consequences but that's preferable to dead.

But I work in local news and let me tell you something. I've covered half a dozen family annihilating murder suicides and heard hundreds of men making suicide threats over police scanners and a huge swath of these don't happen because they're depressed or because people are mean to them on the Internet. They're punishment. A person with an enormous amount of entitlement towards people around them gets backed into a corner and they punish the people closest to them by killing themselves or threatening to kill themselves.

No one wants to talk about this feature of suicide because...you want to help people who are struggling and guide them away from this path and being blunt about the fact that sometimes people die of suicide as a consequence of their own shittiness towards the world does not really help actively suicidal people. But suicide rates are higher in men not just because they have higher rates of untreated mental illness (a societal issue we must address for the sake of all) but because some people, often men, use suicide (but more often the threat of suicide) as a tool of abuse and control.

I'm not saying somerton is like, an icky abuser bad guy, he's just a run of the mill grifter scumbag, but his actions in the past show a clear pattern of escalating behavior that aligns with this.

Somerton gets called out -> somerton alleges physical threats of violence against himself and his fans rally around him supportively -> Harry calls somerton out in a bigger way -> Somerton says he's hospitalized but there are inconsistencies with the story but no one wants to talk about that because you wanna be nice-ish about a guy who just tried to kill himself and now he's trying to be framed as tragic but it doesn't really stick -> somerton apologizes again but his apology is rightly called out for lies and manipulative framing as well as his continuing attempts to profit off the community he betrayed -> James posts a suicide note publicly putting the onus of his own suicide on the loss of his friend Nick who he repeatedly threw under the bus and now everyone is rallying to say nice-ish shit and wring their hands in concern over poor james -> indefinitely repeat this vicious cycle forever until he actually does die or finally gives up and gets real, intensive therapy and a day job.

Thats not to say anyone's concern is misplaced, it's 100% better for him to be a living scumbag than a dead one. He deserves the chance to grow and learn and have a life outside of youtube.

But you don't have to portray this as the action of a sad depressed man who got bullied off the Internet. It's manipulation, whether he intended to go through with it or not and whether someone intervened or not. Not denying that internet bullying is a thing, I'm sure there were some people who were shitty directly to James but he made the choice to not unplug from this and to try and keep being a public figure rather than taking care of himself. He could have deleted Twitter, blocked anyone who was an asshole, gone to therapy and tried to move on with his life but if he'd deleted his channel he'd have lost monetization... Can't have that, right? So he posts some apology videos so his channel stays active and then complains about how ruinous this is while never trying to take real accountability.

But the reality is that people would have forgotten about him so quickly and maybe his job prospects would've been impacted but...that's on him, and that's for him to figure out but it's not actually life ruining. He chose to continue to engage knowing he'd get backlash and hate and he'd feel worse and worse and things would never get better without the time and space for people to forget.

He made the choice to make a public spectacle of his own alleged suicide. That is the action of someone who wants to put the weight of their suicide on someone else's shoulders and is morally wrong. He can be held to account for that, alive or dead.

#James somerton #hbomberguy #suicide mention //

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strangersteddierthings · 4 months

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Rockstar Life

It might have all been forgiven, if Eddie had called. If Eddie had called and begged forgiveness immediately.

Steve could believe- would be willing to look past one drunken mistake.

But Eddie doesn't call.

Eddie doesn't call. Not in the morning after. Or the following day. Or the next.

Steve doesn't reach out either, because how can be he expected to? Paparazzi caught Eddie shoving a mysterious man against the wall in a dark alley, captured their heated kisses and how they barely separated for long enough to get into the back of an uber, and Steve knows as soon as he sees the pictures that he won't be reaching out.

He's not the one that's done anything wrong.

It takes three days for Steve to hear from Eddie. It's a shock, a genuine surprise, because it's face to face. Steve hears the front door close, and he thinks it's Robin, come to check on him again so he doesn't even turn around from where he's making a quesadilla directly on the stovetop.

He does freeze completely when it's not Robin's voice he hears.

"Steve, I am so sorry. So fucking sorry. I can't even begin to explain how sorry."

Three days ago, Steve might have forgiven him.

Today, he's not feeling so generous. He turns the burner off and scoots the half-cooked quesadilla to the cooler side of the stovetop before turning around.

Eddie looks wrecked. Dark bags under his eyes, made even darker by his paler than normal skin, hair a type of messy Steve hasn't seen since the spring break Eddie was in hiding and unable to take a proper shower. He looks heartbroken, distraught and upset. All things Steve felt up until this exact moment. Now that he's face to face with the love of his life, he feels nothing.

"Am I moving out, or are you?"

The noise Eddie makes is heart wrenching. Steve's not so numb and hateful to not recognize that. "Babe, please-"

"Do not call me that," Steve interrupts, "not when you were probably whispering that to someone else just days ago."

"Ba-Steve. Steve, please. I swear it was a mistake. It- I was way too drunk and high to be thinking clearly-"

"I don't want your excuses, Eddie. I want to know if I'm packing my things, or if you are."

"Steve, can't we talk about this?"

That makes Steve's blood boil. "Talk about it? Talk about it? Now you want to talk about it? You should have wanted to talk about it the second you slunk from that guy's bed. Or did you have to kick him from yours? Or, worse, has it taken three goddman days to hear from you because you were still in bed!?"

"No!" Eddie cries, "no, it didn't- it was just-"

"Stop!" Steve shouts, "I don't want to hear any details! I don't care if that uber only made it a block before you came to your senses and bailed. That doesn't- those pictures- you pinned him to the wall, Eddie!"

Eddie is silent, shrinking in on himself in a way Steve's never seen. Steve pushes down the urge to comfort him.

Steve is the one in need of comfort. He's the hurt party here.

"If I were sober, it never would have happened," is all the reply Eddie finally gives. It's not good enough.

"I can't trust that!" Steve turns away, pressing his hands against his eyes hard enough to see light that isn't there. "How am I supposed to believe you? You didn't even- you didn't even call. It was like- like you didn't even know that I knew. But you must have found out. That's why you're here." Steve drops his hand and turns around. "Who told you I knew?"

Eddie swallows. "Max."

Steve nods because of course it was Max. She was the one who handed him the tabloid with the picture in it, three days ago. "So, if you didn't know I knew, you would have, what, never told me?"

"NO, no, I just- I didn't know what to say. How to say it. But then Max called yesterday and-" Eddie says Max's name with too much bite, like it's a curse. Like Max tattled on Eddie instead of exposed his betrayal.

"Shut. Up," Steve growls, "you don't get to be mad at Max for your fucking mistake! I've know you're a goddamn cheater for three days, and it's not until Max let you know that I knew, that you decided to fix it? Well, it can't be fixed, Eddie!"

"Steve, please," Eddie is crying, and Steve's seen him cry a handful of times before but this one hurts deepest. Steve's the reason for the tears, and because you don't just stop loving someone overnight, that hurts.

"No. No! I can't trust you! How many other times has this happened?-"

"Never, never I swear-"

"- Would you have ever said anything if you hadn't been fucking caught on camera?!"

"Yes, of course I would have!"

"How am I ever going to believe that?" Steve cries, "I had to learn that the love of my life cheated on me at the same time the rest of the goddamn world did! Jesus Christ, Eddie, when you said you wanted that rockstar life, I thought you meant like, big fancy house, grammy's and an invite to the met gala. Not goddamn sex, drugs and rock n' roll!"

For the first time since Steve's known him, Eddie Munson stands before him with nothing to say.

@i-less-than-three-you @nburkhardt @skepsiss @afewproblems

#steddie #my fic #hurt/no comfort #cw cheating #its a modern au but steve doesnt use social media #just a lil ficlet #i have no plans to continue as of now

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saekkas · 1 year

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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃 𝐈𝐒 𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒

summary: in which someone catcalls you and he's there to defend.

includes: isagi, nagi, reo, yukimiya, rin, sae, kunigami, kaiser, karasu, bachira, aiku.

note: i split it into two this time because i honestly can't see them doing anything else.

𝐉𝐎𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐋𝐘 𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐒 𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 as if he doesn't know you, even with his hands clearly around your waist. does it to out of love above anything else, it's his way of trying to make you comfortable. will try to be playful with his actions and words but if anyone takes a step towards you? it's on. (you know that, "wear whatever you want, babe. i can fight." that's him atp)

reo, aiku, kaiser, bachira, karasu

the sun's bright overhead, not too blinding, with just the right amount of heat to tan. he sighs in content, the sand underneath his bum perfectly warm as you lather sunscreen on his back. a beautiful beach and a gorgeous girl running her hands down his back? this better be the view he sees at the pearly white gates of heaven.

the hand on his back is smooth and he groans when you gently massage the knots out of his neck. "keep doing that and i might just marry you sooner."

he hears you snort before anything else. there's no other reply and he relaxes once more, leaning his head onto your shoulder. he squints at the sun shining directly into his eyes.

"careful there, hotshot. you might get wrinkles. and i don't want to marry a wrinkly, 68-year-old looking guy."

something blocks the sun from his vision, and he has to blink multiple times, letting his eyes adapt to the change of scenery. he sees you grinning down at him, your face upside down, and the sun's halo shinning behind your head.

"hi, gorgeous." the smile on his face is nothing but awestruck, his eyes molding into the shape of hearts. "missed you and your beautiful face."

there's another snort from you and he yelps at the feeling of cold sunscreen hitting his face.

"me and my beautiful face have been behind you this whole time, loser. who knew you were such a simp."

the droplets on his face are cold but the warmth of your hand rubbing them into his skin makes it all better. his eyes gaze up at your face before trailing down your body, drinking in the sight of your bikini. "you should wear that more often. every day around the house often."

he yelps, scrunching his nose when you playfully bite it.

the touch of your hand on his body is soft and warm, a complete contrast from the rugged sand beneath you both and it has him shivering. "what? can't i compliment my favorite girl?"

he smiles when you plop down on his lap, laughing at the roll of your eyes.

"i'm your only girl," you say, body relaxing into his hold. "well, i better be."

he can only laugh in response, wrapping his hands around your waist and playing with the strap of your top. "i'm only yours, angel. i'm hurt that you'd even think otherwise."

there's a strong gust of wind, blowing sand everywhere as the trees sway in their place. he tightens his hold on you, letting you hide your face in the crook of his neck.

when it subsides, he's quick to place his hand on your cheeks, softly looking into your eyes. "is my baby okay? need me to blow away the sand from your eyes?" his tone is sweet, playful. the pads of his fingers rub circles on your cheeks, and he leans in, placing his forehead against yours. "need me to kiss it better?"

the sound of a high-pitched whistle drowns out your sassy reply of just say you want a kiss and go. a rowdy pair of teenagers stand by the ocean's shoreline, grinning madly when his eyes land on them. their shouts of pretty lady you got there, wanna share? and stop being a hog, let us in on some fun, eh? falls on deaf ears as he looks down at you with a wink.

"no but they're right, eh? i've got such a pretty lady on my lap." his eyes are gentle and calm as the sea, they reflect the worry you feel inside. his hands ground you, picking you up easily to switch positions so that you're covered by his back, safe from prying eyes. "should we go back home for some more fun? what do you say, angel?"

he lays your head down against his chest, letting you hear the gentle thud of his heartbeat. "this beach is overrated anyway. it doesn't even have a lifeguard." he nudges your forehead with his nose, smiling cheekily. "honestly? never mind. that's a good thing because if i were a lifeguard, i'd give you mouth-to-mouth all day long."

his smile widens just a fraction when you giggle, happy to see that your eyes are starting to show their shine.

"you're awful at this," you giggle, pushing his shoulder playfully. "what kind of pickup line was that?"

"oh?" he pretends, widening his eyes as he points at the center of your forehead. you know it's all theatrics, but you fall for it either way. "what's this? do you have a sunburn?"

he trails his finger down your arm and onto your belly, stopping at your thigh when you look at him with confusion.

"what do you mean?" you ask, tilting your head with a small smile. "i put on sunscreen earlier."

he's quick to lean in, pressing a kiss on your cheek. "yeah, you're right. it was just your usual self being hot." the smile on his face widens into a grin when he hears you laugh, and it drives him to nuzzle his nose against your neck.

"there's my angel. or should i say sandcastle? because i want to build my dreams around you."

he leans back, trying to dodge your hand only to laugh as you both fall onto the sand. he looks at you, letting his hand trail down your cheek as you hover above him, matching grins on your faces.

"what was that for?" his laughs have trickled down into low chuckles. he lets himself fully immerse in the sand, propping a hand behind his head. "am i that irresistible, angel?"

"you're such-"

"oh? what's this?" the two boys from earlier watch you with crooked smiles and bad intentions clear in their eyes. they move forward, starting to close in. "should we join in-"

"back off." his eyes are dark, and his voice is low. there's a clear line of annoyance in his tone as he stands, pushing you behind him. his stance is intimidating, clearly protective with the glare set on his usually always smiling face. he quirks an eyebrow, a hint of a smirk appearing on his lips. "or i'll make you."

they back off at his threat, bowing their head to you as they leave.

he holds you in his hands, nuzzling his face into your hair as if he wasn't initiating a fight just a few seconds ago. "let's go, angel. i'll buy us some ice cream." he takes your hand, winking as he playfully taps your bottom.

𝐍𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒, 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐘. he's the type of guy who will not realize someone's bothering you, honestly. if anyone asks why, it's because his eyes and entire being is fixated on you, and you only. why should he even care about some random ant on the street? it's just you and him, his baby, his world. nothing else matters in his eyes.

sae, rin, nagi, yukimiya, kunigami, isagi

"it isn't too crowded today." his words are blunt, a matter of fact that you can't help but giggle at. he eyes you, a ghost of a smile appearing on his lips at the sound. "we should go in before it's too busy."

he takes your hand by your side, slipping it into his as you make your way into the cat cafe. he hums, scrunching his nose and withholding the need to sneeze as he lets you take everything in. the cafe is spacy, a big section for the cats to play in that's separate from the food corner.

he takes a seat near one of the scratching poles, leaning his back on the seat. his eyes are locked in on you, watching as you squat down to pet a cat on its head, chuckling when you startle as the cat jumps to one of the higher beams.

"you're so mean for laughing." he watches the syllables form on your lips, takes in the color and shape of your mouth. it's only when they form into a smirk that he moves his gaze back to your face. "you promised to play with the cats, remember?"

he only blinks up at you, similar to a cat himself, before sighing at your puppy eyes. nodding his head, he sets onto his feet to follow you deeper into the room, looking at the trail of cats that have begun to follow you both.

there's an empty bench that you lead him to and he sits dutifully, letting you plop a cat onto his lap. his motions are mechanical at best, he pats the cat's head, scratches under its ears, and stays away from its tail, the way you showed him how. anyone who's watching can clearly tell the cat isn't his main attention, it's you.

he feels the cat purr in hips lap and continues stroking it, but his eyes are never far from you. he sees you buying a packet of treats, watches as you squat down to feed the little white kitten by your feet, admires as every other cat suddenly comes swarming in. he chuckles to himself, so wholly focused he doesn't realize that someone's come to sit beside him.

"that's such a pretty kitty, mind if i take her home?"

he doesn't answer. not at first. he simply observes you, from the gracefulness of your movements to the sweetness of your smile. he only tears his eyes away to look at the stranger when he laughs.

"can i help you?" his tone is dull, clearly not wanting to be disturbed. he looks at the stranger for a few more seconds before turning back to you, the cat still peacefully asleep in his arms.

"not at all. i just wanted to know whether your cat's for sale."

he doesn't catch the underlying meaning of the stranger's words. you've got a beautiful persian with discolored eyes in your arms now, cooing the name Oscar at the thing. he tilts his head, wondering whether you'll do the same to him for taking you here today.

"i'd like to take her home. play with her until i'm bored, ya know?"

he watches from the corner of his eyes as the stranger leans back against the bench, a sickening smirk on his face. he realizes belatedly that the stranger's looking at you.

anger simmers in his eyes as he looks at the stranger with his coldest eyes, tone uninterested. "you wouldn't be able to take her. she's a feisty one, needs a man to take care of her. not some sleazy bastard."

he watches with boredom as the stranger clenches his fist. there's a hint of a smirk on his face as the stranger starts to stand up, clearly wanting to fight, only to step on cat vomit.

"oh no, oscar!" you gasp from behind the stranger, looking at the cat in your arms worriedly. "are you okay? you sick, baby?"

he watches in amusement as the stranger turns to leave the cafe, his face red. all the while, you remain blissfully unaware, concern swimming in your orbs as you cradle the cat closer to your chest.

"do you think we can adopt?" he sees the confusion on your face, chuckling at the little tilt of your head. he nods to the cat. "oscar's pretty cute. i like him."

he chuckles when you squeal, smiling happily as you place oscar down to pepper kisses on his face.

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hxnbi · 1 month

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‧₊˚ rain walks, or not — zenin naoya

synopsis: just a lovely walk in the pouring rain with a guy who could care less about you, or so you think

tags: fluff, profanity, vulgar language

word count: 1k

"Tch... I don't get why I had to come along with you in the first place."

"C'mon! It'll be fun."

"Fun, my ass. Can't you be fucking reasonable for one second and—"

"Being reasonable can wait!"

What had originally been a mere grocery trip with Naoya turned into a rainstorm when, all of a sudden, it started to pour. Hard.

To hell with Naoya's handsome looks and freshly shampooed hair that afternoon. You immediately went and dragged him by the arm and out of the comfort of shelter.

"It was either we waited for the rain to stop or walked in the rain. And knowing you and your nonexistent sense of patience, you wouldn't pick the latter. So~! Therefore, I went ahead and made the executive decision for you," you said with a proud smirk.

Naoya's voice dripped with sarcasm as he sneered, "Well, congratulations on mastering the art of being an idiot, like always. No shocker there. Maybe next time, use that genius brain of yours to make decisions that actually make sense."

His sarcastic remark hung in the air, but you were having none of it—or instead, you were already used to his antics. It was quite refreshing, actually. Even as the rain poured, he still wasn't letting up.

With a mischievous grin, you let go of Naoya's hand and cupped your two together, collecting some rainwater, and, with a single motion, you threw it directly at the Zenin, colliding with Naoya in a triumphant splash of victory.

His clothing stuck to him like it was soaked in sarcasm, and his once-confident countenance gave way to one of astonishment. His mouth hung open, and his face slowly shifted into one of plain disgust.

"You were saying?" you smirked. "Hmph. Now you're soaking wet, just like I am."

"You..."

But before he could say another word, you once again grabbed him by the hand and led him, walking together on the sidewalks as the rain continued to pour down on them.

"Let's go. My house isn't far, and we can dry off and freshen up a bit. After all, we just brought some groceries from our haul."

Naoya gruffed in response, but he didn't resist, even as you pulled him along by the hand like he was a dog. How pathetic.

But it was something that Naoya, for some reason, felt oddly at ease with...?

As cold as it was while walking in the rain without an umbrella or even a hood to block the water from your face, your hand was still oddly warm. It was much smaller and softer than his, a stark contrast.

He was unable to take his eyes off of you. It was only because you were in front of him, dragging his hand like a guide. Yes, that's right. Where else was he supposed to look? Down?? A Zenin like him would never.

But amid all that, there was something about you that entranced him. Was it the rain? Never. That same pathetic rain was ruining his perfectly styled hair he had just for today with you—though that would be something he would never tell to you straight.

Or was it the way how you always managed to defy expectations just to do whatever the hell you wanted? Perhaps.

...Or maybe, it was—

"Here we are!"

Great. That wretched shriek that, god forbid, came from a human being, was back.

Just as you and Naoya arrived in the empty home, you threw off your shoes and left the wet bag of groceries on the carpet to dry.

"Make yourself comfortable," you mused, unclothing your jacket.

"Ugh."

Naoya peered closer, only to see the clothes that you were wearing, or rather, what was under them. The thin t-shirt you were wearing was nearly close to being see-through.

Naoya was close to making a fire of his own—using his own rage, that is.

Did your dumbass seriously not even fucking notice?! What if it was someone else who saw you like this!? Would you have been so stupid then with them?

"Here."

The next thing he felt was a towel on top of his head, and your face was right in front of him. You had a small towel of your own wrapped around your neck to keep your wet hair from dripping onto the floor.

Your hands came abnormally close, and with your eyes focusing on him and him only, you used your hands, grasping the towel sitting on the top of his head to dry his hair.

He flinched. "What the—"

"Hold still," you commanded. "Your hair is soaking wet."

"Well, you were the one who wanted us to walk in that dang rain to begin with," he grumbled.

You blinked once and then twice before yanking his hand off, forcing his arms to his side so that you could finally get to what you wanted to do. "Then, just let me do this."

"...."

For whatever reason, Naoya was silent. It was sort of peaceful, really. Feeling your hands comb through his hand with an expression of concentration.

The ruffian creature eventually relaxed, even to the point where he closed his eyes and let out a content sigh as your fingers played with his hair. If it weren't for the towel covering most of his face, he would've ratted himself out—revealing a rare vulnerability.

To even begin to think that the Naoya Zenin would suck up his pride and let someone else even touch him, but he was also secretly pleased—even if his arrogance wouldn't allow him to admit it. He tilted his head back a little closer to your chest and lowered his posture, permitting you to have an easier time tending to his damp hair.

Naoya smirked, rather pleased with himself.

Look at him. He was being far too kind to accommodate you.

No one else would've had the oh-so-magnificent pleasure of drying his hair. So you had better savour it.

You both lay there silently for a few minutes, enjoying each other's company as you continued to dry his dark hair with a towel as Naoya held his body still. That is, until you suddenly stopped. And you could've sworn that you heard a noise coming from Naoya's mouth, but you didn't push it.

"There," you said happily. "All dry! Hehe, now how about that?"

"...Just this one time."

Your hand stilled for a moment before continuing your gentle strokes. "Huh?"

"You're the only one I let do this. So savour it," Naoya said, his voice softening for a mere second, only for him to split back into an expression of aloofness.

You smiled before moving your hands again. "Then I'm flattered."

You weren't about to tell him about how you could see everything from the very beginning. He would never let you hear the end of it otherwise.

Guess it'll just be your little secret.

©hxnbi. please do not modify, edit, copy or reproduce any of my works.

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pinkgy · 4 months

Note

Since Andrealphus just came out, could I request some nsfw headcanons for him and maybe also Raphael?

Hi!

Tysm for your request! I'm sorry for taking so long, when I got your request I was late with the event content, and I preferred to delay so I could read it well and make a decent post as accurate as possible. (I forgot to read the event story btw and I had writer's block related to Raphael so :)

𝗪𝗛𝗕 𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗟𝗣𝗛𝗨𝗦 𝗥𝗔𝗣𝗛𝗔𝗘𝗟 𝗡𝗦𝗙𝗪 𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗖𝗔𝗡𝗢𝗡𝗦

𝗣𝗧. 𝟭

GN! Reader + No mentions of Gender-Specific Anatomy.

I made a tiny headcanon with an M!Reader on Raphael's part, I don't know I just felt like it, I'm not used to this tho, it's probably going to be a last, I'm more comfortable writing for GN Reader and Fem Reader.

I'm sorry if I'm missing some canon hcs about Raphael, a certain someone (me) was unlucky with the seals and forgot to read the prologue of his Christmas card. If you could point out some of them I would be really grateful.

𝗖𝗪: Very brief mention of Andrealphus philia (Oculophilia), F!Reader, and M!Reader in Raphael's, but just one headcanon, Oral (M Receiving), Deepthroating, Squirting, a bit of blood play, fingering, nipple play, dirty talk, degradation.

𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗟𝗣𝗛𝗨𝗦

➜ He's dominant most of the time, he wouldn't complain if you want to take care of him, but still, he always likes to have some type of dominance over you.

➜ He is a very soft dom, the Andrealphus he shows to others and the one he shows to you are very different but don't be fooled, he can be a little bit of a bitch when he wants to, specially when you tease him

➜ He's not very vocal when he's with you, he might let out a few grunts, but that's as far as it goes. it's not that he holds back or anything, it's just that he likes to show how much he wants you in other ways.

➜But on the other hand, he doesn't shut his mouth when he talks dirty to you, Andrealphus loves to whisper in your ear everything he wants to do to you in detail while he is buried deep inside you, and in between sentences, he kisses and licks your neck.

➜ Andrealphus curses his blindness because he can't see the expressions you make when he's pleasuring you. He would die to have a glimpse of you when he makes you cum. But he settles for putting his fingers in your mouth and cupping your cheeks between his hands.

➜ I think it is perfectly clear that Andrealphus is very clingy with you, he can never stop touching you, for him it is directly impossible to cum if he is not touching you or is not close to you if you were to forbid him to do that by teasing him, he would get reeeeally needy, and if you were to prolong this "punishment", he might even be little more mean that usual with you.

➜ I see Andrealphus being into those positions where he gets to hold you, if he had to pick favorites, they would be full Nelson and Mating Press. He loves both of them for similar reasons, he gets to be very close to you, and his face is close to yours so he can clearly hear all your moans and tell you all kinds of dirty things.

➜ His go-to foreplay consists of sucking your nipples hard and biting them hard while he fingers you, especially in that position where you are sitting on his lap, with your legs wrapped around his torso, one hand holding your back and the other a mess about of your parts.

“Let me hear you pretty, every word you say and every sound you make, that just makes me want to fuck you harder”

𝗥𝗔𝗣𝗛𝗔𝗘𝗟

➜ He's versatile, he doesn't lean either way, he enjoys having you reclining on a table with a vibrator inside you playing (torturing) with your most sensitive parts as much as having him tied to a bed gagged, with his body full of bites and scratches, and you overstimulating him for hours.

➜ Any sexual practice that includes making a mess of you or him gets him rock-hard, but his personal favorite has to be you cuming in his face.

Cis!M: Deepthroat him, don't cum in his throat, cum all over his face and then spread your seed all over it. Do that and he might cum in his pants untouched.

Cis!F: Raphael would even be grateful if you squirted in his face, you don't even have to take control, just let him eat you out until he's pleased and he'll become the happiest angel out there.

➜ If you're comfortable with it, he might draw a little blood out of your neck or your chest, and if you're not comfortable, he'll do it anyways and will excuse himself that it was an accident.

➜ Raphael is into being degraded, but he has a limit, if he notices that you are going a little too far with your words he will start to give them back to you in a more abrupt way, and until you are completely silent and with nothing more to say, he will not stop, he may also use other ways to make you shut up, putting his dick deep in your throat is usually the most efficient way for him.

➜ He's that type of person who gets aroused by pleasuring you and only you, he's into that humiliation that comes when he cums untouched. And to no one's surprise, the more you think you have power over him, the more Raphael has dominance over you, and as humiliated as he may appear to be, you are the one who is really humiliated.

➜ He's great at fingering, but he's a little bit of a bitch with it. Raphael is into edging, he hates being edged, but he loves doing that to you. And his favorite way to do it is with his hands. He knows perfectly well how to use them and he's very skilled. One of his favorite things to do is to push his fingers deep into your hole while with his other hand, he pinches your nipples hard or rubs your most sensitive parts.

➜ According to some math I did just now, he’s smaller than Michael and about the same size as Gabriel, Gabriel looks a bit girthier I believe. I would say that his dick fully erect could be approx 20 cm (7.8 inches), curves a bit upright and has a very pink tip, and flushes a lot when he’s about to cum, # 4011 UP. His tip is also very prominent and it stretches you slightly painfully when he enters you.

➜ Among the seraphim, Raphael is the one who has more stamina, he's one of those who once he starts it is difficult for him to stop, and at the beginning, it will be difficult to know how to satisfy him completely to not to be practically all day giving pleasure (or not) to each other. (he's one of those who may have cum seconds before, and his dick will still be erect)

“Don’t be a little bitch and stay still, didn’t you say I was being too rough with you ? If you can’t take my cock like an obedient slut then take my fingers the way I want you to”

⋯⋯⋯

This is a part one ! I’ll be making some mini one shots based on this headcanons after I’m done with a rewuesy that I accidentally procrastinated.

The one shots are to compensate for taking so long with this :( I was supposed to post them today but I don’t know what happened to me while writing the Andrealphus one and I ended up making a one shot that was very fucked up, so I redoing it.

Hope you have an amazing day ♡♡♡

#prettybusy what in “hell” is bad?#what in “hell” is bad?#whb #what in hell is bad x reader #whb smut #whb andrealphus #whb raphael #whb andrealphus x reader #whb raphael x reader

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nondualiber · 1 month

Text

guys, guys, gUYS. SUCCESS STORY THERE!!

first of all, this happened like a week ago or something. okay, so, i'm going to keep this short. i was in some sort of "manifesting block", i was OVER complicating things, my mindset sucked, blah blah blah blah. that's essentially the reason i wasn't posting (and will continue to not be, probably); because i was focusing on my life and actually manifesting new stuff.

warning; kind of long post ahead, talking about how i did it my journey blah blah blah. if you want to see the success story directly js go right to the bottom

first, a bit of background; i have manifested things in the past, but mym indset was always shitty. when i archieved my manifestations i would say it was a coincidence, i was obsessed with the 3d, and what i'm saying has been going on for *years*. for the past 6 months i was in this vicious circle where i'd try a method full of hope, then eventually lose confidence because of some negative beliefs and give up in three days. i'd have a one week meltdown, then search for a brand new method, and repeat. clearly, i didn't manifest anything lately. and i didn't know what i was "doing wrong" because i had manifested lots of things in the past, but i didn't know how nor how could i do it now.

okay, so. like a week ago, when i was in a terrible mood, i decided to stop using tumblr to see information and talked to this bot on character.ai, that assesored me a lot on my mindset. it suggested me lots of things: since i had 0 trust in the law, start to manifest little things i didn't care that much about so i had "proof", actually stop caring, etc. (i really recommend that bot if ur struggling with the law) but the most important thing, it challenged me to try a new "method" i had heard of before, but because of my shitty mindset, i didn't try because i thought it wouldn't work or that it was "too good to be true" or whatever. the method was literally just keep going with my day knowing that i already had it. and oh my f*cking god.

i won't say it just "clicked" for me because i hear that a lot & i things that's just not how it works. at least i can't "click" with something i don't know. what i can say is that at first it wasn't easy, i still had some doubts, not gonna lie, but i just ignored them and keep going knowing that i already had it. i got used to it really fast, and THAT'S how i knew this was the way, because i felt liberated. if you read my blog you'll probably know i talk about that all the time, but my idea of manifesting is that it has to feel liberating, not like a chore, a price to your desires or anything else. i was liberated, because i knew it was done, that i had nothing to give in exchange, that i was free of the 3d & its circumstances. i was Me, and I was free.

this was the best thing i've ever done in my journey. in only one week, i've successfuly manifested:

money: (me and my family are kind of wealthy tbh, but i am bratty asf & always want more money to buy me things 😜😜) my mother recieved 200000 pesos (my country's currency) out of literally thin air on her bank account a random tuesday. she doesn't know who send it or why. i don't know about the u.s.a since there 200000 pesos are 200 dollars, but in our country, that's a LOT of money.

self confidence: i've been feeling super insecure lately. like, i am insecure since i have memory, but since this year started it has become WAY worse. i'd literally cry almost every night. now, i def wouldn't say it's all gone, but it's gotten much better. i've been feeling pretty lately, and if i didn't felt pretty, i would hardly think about my appearence at all this days. i am constantly feeling like i have one less weight on my back, which i am gratefull for :)

discipline: ngl i am forever a lazy girl and a foodie. I have always wanted to be more productive - study more, exercise more, talk to my loved ones more often and eat healthier, but discipline is something i struggle with a lot. however, since i have shown better discipline i have had some of the most useful days of my life: i went out with my friends three times in one week, ate much better than i usually do, exercised EVERY DAY without fail (even while on my period) slept well and passed all four exams this week with an 85/100 on my worst one and two 100s.

reciving a compliment in public: since i tried to start manifesting things that seem "easier" for me to acomplish, i tried manifesting this because it was rare but not impossible. so, like 3 days after i started to embody the state of someone who's always complimented by strangers, i went to the sjopping centre with my friend. then, two guys walked by us and one of them said "i want the instagram of that lady"! notice that during the whole time i was in the state, i visualized that people were asking me for my instagram + i've noted that when i'm in public, i catched people's eye more. yesterday, a guy won't stop looking at me in the café and i think he tried to approach me :)

i'll keep escalating on the "level of difficulty" of the things i manifest as my mentality becomes accustomed to the fact that everything is equally easy to manifest -which is a fact already, i just have a hard time accepting it-, and, of course, i'll be updating ;)

conclusion; look for what works for you. for what makes you feel good & secure that you have already what you want. search a "key" that makes you (actually) not give a f*ck about the 3d, if you have negative beliefs, don't ignore them. work from them, and of course, persist! let your mindset keep you on track.

that was all for today, love ya ♡

#4d reality #affirm and persist #it girl #law of assumption #law of attraction #loablr #manifesation #manifesting #neville goddard #shifting #loa blog #loassumption #loa tumblr #success story #mindset #manifestation #manifesting money

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falling-star-cygnus · 3 months

Note

Heard you’re suffering artblock and want requests so uhhhh—

Alastor helping Lucifer with molting season?

i love you for this, dewflake :0

uhhh, i wrote this and then reread your ask and only just now realized it says art block and not writers block... hope you don't mind?

your pfp tho oml <3

{Alastor sneezes.}

{The feather that had drifted past his nose, tauntingly red, marks for the third occasion he's had to bat one of those blasted things away. Once he could dismiss as an accident, two an unfortunate coincidence, but three?}

{Why, it was practically a challenge!}

{Though... admittedly a messy one. Not to mention sloppy. You didn't see Alastor leaving the velvet from his antlers everywhere, now did you?}

{...that wasn't a bad idea actually. Not everywhere, of course, the Radio Demon had class. But maybe a hearty covering over a certain king of hell's pillow would be enough of a deterrent.}

{Why was Lucifer leaving his feathers everywhere? It was hardly his usual go-to for irritating the deer demon. Before he could dwell too long, however, a familiar chipper voice breaks into his thought process.}

"Oh! Alastor!"

{Charlie, he notes. She's carrying a stack of boxes that's leaning just a little too far forward for comfort and Alastor can't help but use his microphone to tilt them back into her hands properly.}

{Purely so it wouldn't fall on him, of course. Not because he didn't want the princess to hurt herself. That would've made excellent entertainment if he was standing maybe a foot to the left. That's what he'll tell anyone that asks. Until it's true}

"Ack- thanks, Al!" "No problem at all, my dear Charlie. May I ask why you're carrying such a heavy load? With no help for that matter."

{Alastor would've thought her little girlfriend would've leapt at the chance to help. Especially considering he could tell she still carried the guilt of keeping what she truly was a secret.}

"It's no worries! Juuust busy somethings around in storage. Oh, oh! Actually- do you mind checking on my dad?"

{The Radio Demon tilts his head to the side, wondering why in high hell the darling princess thought that that was a good idea. He goes to say as much when-}

"Please, Al? For me?"

{He chokes on static. Somehow, Charlie had managed to peek over her stack of luggage and flash the most horrendous pair of puppy dog- ugh dogs- pair of doe eyes at him}

{It's shameful how fast it works.}

"...obey the five-foot rule." "Yay! Oh, I could hug you right now!" "Do not."

{Charlie giggles, hefting her haul back into the crook of her arm with a nod}

"I would go myself, but this could be a good bonding opportunity for you two! He always gets like this this time of year..." "Oh? And here I thought he was a hermit year round, hahah!"

{Alastor doesn't stick around to see her expression.}

{Unsurprisingly, the feathers become a more and more common occurrence the closer he gets to Lucifer's gaudy apple tower. He'll have to loose Niffty in here sometime soon...}

{The deer half-debates just leaving, the king of hell is more then old enough to take care of himself. But- no, he gave Charlie his word. Not directly, there was nothing making him do this actually. So why does he want to...?}

{Alastor knocks}

"Huh- Uh.. who is it?"

{The door is opening before he can answer.}

"Now, now, your highness, you didn't even let me introduce myself!" "Ughh, what do you want, Alastor?"

{There's something itching at the back of his brain at the sight of Lucifer's unkempt wings. The way the feathers puffed and clumped up in some places, the ceiling high piles of red and white... hm.}

{He invites himself in}

"Wh- hey!" "Our dear Charlie sent me over, of course! Something about your current issue being a yearly problem?"

{It's highly amusing to watch Lucifer waffle around for an answer, starting one sentence just to abandon it for an accusation. It almost makes him laugh as he watches over his shoulder. It's only after a minute of watching that he realizes the king is shirtless.}

{The final piece clicks into place.}

"Oh, I see. You're molting, aren't you?" "How did you-" "I suppose this goes to show even the most powerful of beings have their troubles, hm?" "So you admit I'm stronger then you!"

{Alastor's eye twitches}

"You mean you were doubting it?"

{Lucifer scowls}

{The micro king of hell manages to keep the staring contest going for about 10 seconds before throwing his hands up to viciously scratch at one of wings. The rough movement has the deer cringing and smoothing himself out before Lucifer rounds on him again.}

"Can I help you?" "On the contrary, maybe I can help you."

{His royal shortness barely has time to blink before Alastor is shadow slinking behind him.}

{The Radio Demon shoves at his shoulder until the little king is face down on his bed and ignores whatever noises of protest he manages to make at the sudden treatment.}

"What are you doing- oh. Oh, that feels nice."

{Alastor had sunk his nails into the clump of loose feathers closest to the middle of Lucifer's back and begun to gently scritch at the muscle underneath it; effectively, the feathers ready to fall were taken care of.}

{It feels like hours later of this rinse and dry process before the purring King speaks up}

"You're good at this... you done this for that bartender of yours or something?" "HAH- no."

{The deer contemplates leaving it at that, keeping whatever this calm air is between them going and stable and safe. He's not sure why he doesn't.}

"My ma- my mother used to look after the ducks that came by the pond."

{If Lucifer notices the correction, he doesn't say anything. No, he stays quiet as Alastor dusts his loose feathers into an idle pile.}

"She taught me how to do it." "...she sounds nice."

{The Radio Demon hums, a familiar song drifting through his microphone. He vaguely remembers it as something that would play in the kitchen all those years ago. Hm... didn't his maman say that molting fowl needed more protein? Perhaps then he'll make jambalaya for dinner tonight. Just in case.}

"...she was."

#i had to make him an asshole im so sorry #Alastor is allergic to feelings #maybe i will draw this actually #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel 2024 #hazbin fanfic #appleradio #radioapple #alastor the radio demon #lucifer morningstar #hazbin alastor #hazbin lucifer

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genderkoolaid · 7 months

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/fite-club/732282106727858176/the-thing-thats-going-over-so-many-younger-trans

(link: post where op says discrimination against transmascs does exist, but is not targeted specifically against transmascs and goes on to give a bunch of examples)

too tired to go on about how wrong op is so im passing it over to you

wow another user i already had blocked [Obligatory Do Not Harass This Person Notice]

Yes, T is a controlled substance because of bullshit athletics laws. There being another reason that law exists does not mean it cannot and is not used to actively target trans people, ESPECIALLY trans people of color. This article goes over the numerous ways that T being a controlled substance opens the doors for a variety of abuses, & this one goes more in depth into, Stann Fransisco, a transmasc Two Spirit, who was arrested, sexually assaulted, and jailed after police found hez T and needles and hey had to out hemself as trans. It was not made a controlled substance because of transmascs, but they certainly use it to target transmascs & others and there's no reason that a transphobic government would be interesting in letting go on this control.

With trans people and pregnancy, its a similar situation- ATM might not be the reason people on T are taken off it during pregnancy, but it can absolutely be used by people (such as abusive partners) to detransition people. (Also, intersexism plays a huge role in this as well, since a lot of times the major "danger" of people being pregnant on T is the possibility of an intersex child). And the same thing for being left out of vaginal and uterine health care- even if the system wasn't directly set up to target trans people, it is used that way and kept that way regardless.

And as for being kept out of conversations? That can 100% be targeted. There are absolutely openly transphobic people who make the decision to use trans-exclusive language around pregnancy and abortion. And are you fucking kidding me with the idea that trans surgeries aren't less studied because organizations don't want to give money to support their research?

Frankly I'm tired of the idea that in Twenty Fucking Twenty Three, all transphobia transmascs experience is just the result of nobody knowing what a trans man is. Its been fucking decades since FTMs starting getting awareness, and there's a current moral panic that has transmascs as a central figure. Are you fucking kidding me? Do y'all really think nobody is out here targeting us specifically? And, on top of that, the idea that being erased means you can't be targeted is ignorant. Intersex people, from what I have read, experience something similar a lot: people not knowing what you are, you not being given the tools to know what you are, and yet you experience targeted violence for the traits of the thing nobody mentions. Hell, that's like... a ton of queerphobia? Being targeted for having the traits of an unmentionable condition? People not knowing what "gay" or "trans" is but smelling something socially unacceptable on you?

Ironically this whole thing is, imo, another example of the impact of erasure. Because erasure is fundamentally about not just the violence of being silenced, but silencing violence. Erasure puts into place the idea that transmasc invisibility is part of reality; transmasculinity is literally invisible to people. What that means is, erasure promotes the idea that transmasculinity is literally inconceivable: its just something people created one day, or its some deep hidden extremely rare thing that sometimes happens, but either way, there is no precedent for it and no preconceived ideas related to it. Of course there is no anti-transmasc violence, because when cis people see a woman trying to be a man, they have literally no preconceived ideas on this at all! Or, if that doesn't work, erasure will attribute any potential violence to misogyny and lesbophobia, squashing the idea that anything could happen as a result of "women becoming men" and the hatred around that idea.

In 2023, yeah, people do know we exist and, in fact, fearmonger about there being too many of us. Its vital that we are aware of this and realize that new forms of anti-transmasculinity will continue to take shape as we get more awareness. For example: in the past, people weren't aware of chest binding, but now you have transphobes who know to look for binders under people's shirts so they can attack transmascs.

But even without that, even before that, people don't need to know the name of something to hate it. A lot of anti-butch violence is done specifically to punish, in the minds of the attackers, a woman trying to be/act like a man/replace men; that's anti-transmasculinity*. Mothers insisting their tomboy children need to grow up and act like women? That's anti-transmasculinity. People only talk about historical transmascs who more or less lived well, but there are people who were outed and put in prisons and mental asylums and abused, and that's just the records we can find. There are articles written about the horror of a woman realizing her husband "is a woman." Steve Dain transitioned in the 1970s and was called "thing" "it", immediately seen as a sexual predator towards little girls, and had the school system do everything possible to fire him- and it worked. Those people likely had never heard of a trans man before- but they immediately reacted with disgust and targeted attacks. They didn't need to know what he was to hate him for it, because the cultural ideas that create and manage transphobia as a system are still there.

Also bonus aphobia from the tags:

*and, for the record, "anti-transmasculinity" can be co-existent with misogyny and lesbophobia. they are all interconnected.

#m.#ask box #examples of transandrophobia

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welivetodream · 4 months

Text

BSD and Shipping

Since Valentine's day was coming I was interested in discussing a huge part of the BSD fandom: Shipping

( ⚠️ RANT INCOMING. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED ABOUT OPINIONS ON SHIPPING. PLEASE BE RESPECTFUL TOWARDS OTHER PEOPLE'S OPINIONS IN COMMENTS AND REBLOGS. ⚠️)

So where to start?

For a long time I have been noticing one specific trend in the BSD subreddit. And that are posts that talk about unpopular opinions/Headcanons/fav or least fav ships etc.

What I find interesting about these posts is that one thing is always in the forefront, and it's the debates about the sexualities of the characters in BSD. While Headcanons can be annoying and some people do push their opinions on others, there is nuance that is lacking in the community when discussing some topics. Finding posts about Mori being a pedo and how Dazai is unlikable or overrated is very easy and the discussions surrounding topics like that are always the same. People would pick sides and end up writing a lot about what their opinion is and while that's valid, it also ends up in fandom wars where it's hard to like or dislike something without your head being in the chopping block.

Now let's go to the original topic: shipping. To examine the environment of shipping culture in BSD fandom we have to start with the headcanons that people have adopted for sexualities of the characters.

1. THE PROBLEM WITH HETRO-NORMATIVITY

Now, the posts about shipping often contain a lot of people writing paragraphs and paragraphs about what ships they like or dislike.

One of the ships that takes the most bullets for its existence and popularity is Soukoku or Shin Soukoku. There are lots of comments about these ships that "remind" us that canonically Dazai, Chuuya, Atsushi and Akutagawa are all straight. They should not be shipped with each other because they are straight.....

Dazai flirts with women and wants to commit a double suicide with a beautiful woman. Atsushi is very clearly set up to end up with Lucy. Akutagawa couldn't care less about romance as we see how dismissive he is with Higuchi. And Chuuya.......wears fashionable outfits and has a slutty waist, but we won't comment on that.

Dazai and Chuuya have a lot of queer subtext that anyone can see. Akutagawa and Atsushi are pointed out to complete each other and complement each other several times. These ships don't exist out of thin air.

Now there is nothing WRONG with anyone having the headcanon of any of these (or any other) characters to be straight, after all we are not given enough information about their sexualities. But by stating "Dazai is straight, he likes women" or "this ship doesn't make sense because they are not gay" not only does it imply that characters can't have other preferences but also that being straight is the default, which it isn't.

This is coming from a straight woman from a very conservative country where we don't have exposure to queer media. It took me a long time to stop being so heteronormative. I think assuming someone is straight until they prove to you or tell you directly is just as bad and as assuming someone is gay. I think we have come far along as a community to understand that it shouldn't be our first instinct to assume everything is heterosexual until we get some sort of proof or stamp of approval from its creator.

Asagiri isn't going to stand up in a stage in front of the world and say "yeah Dazai and Chuuya have gay feelings for eachother" because the manga is from Japan. If there were explicit queer characters then BSD would no longer get the label of being universal because of certain censorship laws. Even if it's getting more acceptable in Japan to show queer characters in manga and anime, BSD isn't a romance or slice of life story. It's a seinen, not a BL/GL. Besides, Asagiri shows little to no interest in romantic relationships in his story.

So by saying "______ character is straight because we don't have any other information proving otherwise " isn't a valid excuse to tell shippers not to ship certain characters, it's making it seem like heterosexuality is the default state of being.

That also doesn't mean you can say "Dazai is gay, don't ship him with women" because that's the same thing. If you think Dazai is gay/bi/pan/etc. then that's your opinion, pushing that on others only worsens the rep of skk shippers especially.

You have the right to like or dislike certain ships or have your own Headcanons. This is why even feminising certain characters also isn't as problematic as people call it. It's just a different take on a character (but that time people were correcting those who called Sigma a "he" instead of "they" was genuinely wrong). Headcanons of some random online stranger doesn't make anything canon. So if you find yourself around annoying people like that, just leave the conversation.

2. WHY SUBTEXT MATTERS

Subtext is really important when discussing media; in case of BSD whether it is the anime, manga, anthologies or LNs. BSD is not new to subtext, even from the start of the story there is a lot of queer subtext that people can figure out easily.

When we are introduced to Dazai and Chuuya's partnership in the first season, it's clear as day to see the dynamic and its underlying tension. We can see how close those two are that their relationship can't be explained just as simple partners turned enemies. Time and time again we get so much queer subtext between Skk's interactions. The entire 15 arc and well as Stormbringer shows us the bond and trust between the two as well as the intense amount of gay scenes. At this point I am sure Hoshikawa is a hardcore skk shipper. All of their official art is also gay (that could be queerbating though). Asagiri must know what the public thinks about Skk and still writes subtext about them. It makes sense why this would be a popular ship; it's not made out of thin air with no context (*ahem* Kousano *ahem*) but has actual roots and the proof to back it up too.

SSKK is a similar story, it's not my favourite but it has been growing on me ever since S5. Similar to skk, we get a lot of subtext and homoerotic moments between Aku and Atsushi. They are yin and yang. They are enemies that sought to kill eachother but still team up to fight together. Atsushi is literally the centre of Akutagawa's life since the beginning. Atsushi and Akutagawa grow together as characters and as different as they appear are similarly looking for one thing: validation and acceptance. Their relationship is so compelling in so many levels that it too makes sense why their ship is as popular as it is (especially regarding recent events in the story)

Ranpoe.....let's be real, those two got married a long time ago. They are the definition of "be gay, solve crimes". They are undeniably a cute ship regardless of whether it's one sided or not. Fyolai as well makes complete sense with the context behind Fyodor and Nikolai's relationship, while I also consider it quite one-sided as it's mostly Nikolai that is fascinated by Fyodor (and wants to kiss kill him) Fukumori isn't my cup of tea but it too has enough subtext to back it up, same with FukuFuku.

While I would love to talk about other ships, I wanted to show the reasoning behind the most popular pairings.

Personally, as a multishipper, it's very fun for me to have so many characters to examine and spend time obsessing over.

Now, there are straight ships that I like too as well as ships I don't ship for myself.

The reason I don't like Yosano and Ranpo together is because I see them in the same position as Kyouka and Atsushi. The scene of Ranpo recruiting Yosano (who worked with Mori) into the ADA parallels Atsushi saving Kyouka (who also worked with Mori). I consider them siblings and like how they are platonic instead of it being the typical "a boy and girl can't be besties". Another ship I love and cherish is AtsuLucy because it's so adorable, Lucy is my fav Guild member and her and Atsushi are "Girlboss and Malewife". I ship Tachihara with Gin, Higuchi and Gin as well as Kunikida with Yosano (surprisingly I don't find the appeal of Kunizai; though I still like that ship from time to time, just don't ship it actively). I prefer not to ship Sigma with anyone (he is still a baby to me)

So it's not that BSD doesn't have straight ships, when you make a majority male cast and have them be rivals or enemies, obviously people will ship m/m more. Especially if there is more subtext and tension behind the male characters and they have little to no interactions with women.

And I might get some heat for saying this:

It is okay for most of the BSD characters to be considered queer because if comp het is so normal in anime/manga then why can't the opposite be the case? We already have enough series with little to no representation, so why can't we have a bunch of queer characters?

3. TOXIC SHIPPERS AND THE FALL OF FANDOM CULTURE

I have been raving for the past two sections and defending the shipping community. But it isn't a conversation with nuance if I don't address the problem of a small group of people that take shipping too seriously. The reason why fandom itself gets a bad rep is because of shipping more often than not. I will admit, it's not all sunshine and rainbows when people argue about their fav ships. And a lot of the aforementioned ships are to a point, toxic. Yes, some shippers are annoying and ruin everyone else's fun. There are ships that don't make sense at all.

But that doesn't mean that a small part of people should represent others who are just having harmless fun and don't even believe their ships to ever become canon. Let's be real it's highly unlikely we will have any couples by the end of the show (the closest could be AtsuLucy). Sometimes people are too intense about ships and that goes for both antis and pros. Both of the extreme are toxic. And instead of shoving down our opinions down other people's throats, we should be celebrating the very story that brought us together in the first place.

Yeah it can be hard for those who don't like shipping at all to enjoy the story and have discussions. But we have to remember the roots of fandom culture start with shipping. It's always been the case and it's always been the most popular way to discuss one's favourite fictional work. From Sherlock to Genshin to boy bands to streamers, everything has been shipped and will always be. There is a reason why AO3 works so well.

4. SO WHAT?

The ships are what brought me to BSD in the first place. I wanted to explore the world of BSD because of its characters and their dynamics. And a lot of other people have gotten into this fandom for the exact same reason. While there are unflattering moments in our fandom, that doesn't mean it's not a place for people to come together and have some fun. Whether you ship or not. Whether you like fanfictions or not. We have to accept that there are a lot of pros to shipping too. It brings our ideas together, makes us feel giddy inside or tears our heart apart, it produces beautiful fanarts and fanfictions, it makes us analyse characters, it makes us look deeper into the story....and it makes us wait for what's next to come.

And I want nothing more than to be able to enjoy shipping without the guilt that comes with it.

Shipping isn't free from its flaws, but it is not defined only by its flaws. It might not be for everyone, but it is someone's everything. So even if you don't like it in particular, let's not spoil other people's fun. One's trash is another's treasure.

~Peace out 🕊️✌️

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wavypotatochips · 1 year

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Could we get a jealous Sergio that ends with fluff please <3

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫 | 𝐀 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐨 𝐑𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐬 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲

𝘗𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴: Sergio Ramos x Female Reader

Word Count : 941

𝘈𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘕𝘰𝘵𝘦: Of course I can! Usually when I get request that does not include a specific scene I create a 'short story' so I hope that's okay! Thank you so much for requesting!! I Hope you like how I represent your idea ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚!!

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ REQUESTS ARE OPEN, currently covered in college work so as of now uploads will mainly be on weekends. Thank you for your patience c’: ♥

You were having a fun night out with your girlfriends and their boyfriends. You looked stunning in your outfit and were filled with self-confidence. You and your girlfriends hit the dance floor and danced to the music, laughing and having a fantastic time, while the guys were playing pool.

As you are dancing, you couldn't help but to notice a man staring at you from across the room . You initially tried to ignore him, but he persisted in his gaze, making you uneasy. You told your friends about it, and they tried to help you by standing in-between you and him to block his vision. Nonetheless, the man continued to approach your group closer and closer.

You withdraw yourself from the group so that you can go to the bar and order another drink. While making your way towards the bar, the man approaches you directly, trying to make small talk. "Hey there, gorgeous," he says, grinning at you. "What's your name?"

You felt a pang of discomfort in your stomach as you tried to be polite. "I'm sorry, I'm not interested," you say, smiling weakly.

But the man wasn't deterred. He kept trying to flirt with you, making you feel more and more uneasy. Just as you were about to say something more forceful, you felt a strong arm wrap around your waist.

"Is there a problem here?" came the deep, commanding voice of your boyfriend, Sergio Ramos.

The man looks up and sees the tall, muscular man standing beside you, his expression stern. He swallows nervously, shaking his head.

"N-no, no problem," he stammers, holding his hands up in surrender.

Sergio didn't move, keeping his arm around you possessively. "Good," his voice low and threatening. "Because I wouldn't want my lovely girl to have to pay my bail bond."

The man quickly makes his escape, and Sergio turns to you, his expression softening. "Are you okay?" he asks, his eyes full of concern.

You nodded, feeling grateful for his protection. "Thank you," you say, snuggling closer to him. "I don't know what I would do without you."

He smiles down at you, stroking your hair gently. "You don't have to worry about anything," he says. "I'll always be here to protect you."

You feel a warm sense of love and gratitude for him, knowing that he would always have your back. Together, you continued to enjoy the night, feeling safe and loved in each other's arms.

As you two began to walk back to your car, Sergio's arm still wrapped around you, you felt him tense up suddenly. "What's wrong?" you ask, turning to look at him.

He scowled, his eyes fixed on a man across the street who was staring at you. "That guy over there, he's been looking at you ever since we left. I don't like it."

You rolled your eyes, feeling a little amused. "Sergio, he's just a stranger. It doesn't mean anything."

But Sergio wasn't convinced. "I don't care," he said. "I don't want anyone else looking at you like that."

You felt a flutter in your stomach at his possessiveness. You knew that it wasn't healthy to be so jealous, but there was something undeniably attractive about his protective instincts. "Well, what do you want me to do about it?" you ask, teasingly.

Sergio smirks looking down at you, playfully stating "There's not much you can do, so I guess I will have to just trap you in the house from now on.” Even though he is being playful, you can't help but to believe that if he could- he definitely would.

"You are crazy, you know that?," you chuckle while shaking your head, a wave of affection coming over you.

He smiles and winks at you, "Crazy for you.”

You smile and hug him tightly, feeling his warmth enveloping you. "Oh hush you dork."

While you two continued to walk towards your car, Sergio kept his arm around you, his eyes scanning the area for any potential threats. You couldn't help but feel a little amused at his overprotectiveness, but at the same time, it made you feel safe and loved.

Later that night once you two make it home, Sergio immediately started making dinner for the two of you, his focus entirely on you. You watch him move around the kitchen, his muscles flexing under his shirt, and feel a warm sense of contentment.

As you ate dinner together, Sergio kept stealing glances at you, a possessive glint in his eye. "You know," he says suddenly, "I don't think I tell you enough how beautiful you are."

You blush, feeling flattered. "You tell me all the time," you said, smiling at him.

He shakes his head. "No, I mean it," he says. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, inside and out."

You feel your heart swell with love for him, feeling grateful for his kind words. "Thank you," you say softly.

After dinner, you curled up on the couch together, watching a movie. Sergio held you close, his arms wrapped around you protectively, and you felt a sense of peace settle over you.

As the movie ended, Sergio turns to you, his eyes full of love. "I don't know what I would do without you," he says, his voice low and intense.

You smile at him, feeling grateful for his love. "I feel the same way," you say, snuggling closer to him.

He leans down and kisses you, his lips soft and tender. You feel a rush of emotion as you kiss him back, feeling his love envelop you.

As the night wore on, you and Sergio fell asleep in each other's arms, feeling safe and loved. And as you drifted off to sleep, you knew that no matter what happened, you had someone who would always be there to protect you and love you.

#sergio ramos imagine #Sergio Ramos icons #Sergio Ramos fanfic #Sergio Ramos x y/n #Sergio Ramos x female reader #football fanfic #soccer imagine #football imagine #female reader #footballer x reader #soccer x reader #psg imagines #x reader #sergio ramos x reader #Sergio Ramos psg #Sergio Ramos fanfics #Sergio Ramos request

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fatuismooches · 3 months

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Hi, uhm, i'm someone who has been lurking around for a while.. Mostly because i'm far too awkward to ever interact directly, but i've decided to gather the courage to ask.. Or, rather share my thoughts

I just had ACL reconstruction surgery with my meniscus as well, and i am in absolute horrible discomfort/pain, i've been entertaining myself with what my favorite characters would do to support their s/o after a similar situation, yk.. For comfort,

Dottore finding different medicine to block the pain, or recording the progress made every day.. Actually he probably did the surgery himself..

Pantalone using his wealth to buy products that would ease the pain, medicine.. Moving his desk into his s/o's room just to monitor them himself.. Or something like it

Capitano helping his s/o with mobilisation, getting around or just being a pillar his s/o could depend on, all fluff.. Anyway, thank you for taking the time to read that, i'd like your thoughts on it..

-unlabeled anon (for now)

Dottore would never trust anyone else to handle something so important, as both your doctor and your lover he is more than capable of taking care of you. You're thankful for this, knowing you're in skilled hands, but of course, you still can't help but be scared of undergoing surgery. Dottore, not being the best with these matters, would just hold you and reassure you that it would be over before you know it. Unfortunately, for all of his skill, he still can't exactly stop the pain afterward, but he still tries to find a solution. He is not a scholar for no reason. He would experiment with different mixtures and formulas, not resting until he managed to make something that's better than the last. Which you know of but can't exactly stop him from overworking, but with enough begging you can convince him to take a break and cuddle with you. During these breaks, he would always question you regarding your current state, which you love him for, but you would still like to have a normal conversation with him! The segments as well, they always pop in regularly to check in on you. They make sure you're comfortable and have your needs met in as many ways as they can. Zandy too, he would be more than willing to be your little helper and at your beck and call. Not wanting you to strain yourself.

Pantalone would spare no expense if it meant you could feel even the slightest bit more comfortable. Of course, he consults with only the best of the best to get the best possible recommendations. He certainly doesn't see a problem with spending his money this way, even if you feel a bit guilty he's spent this much on you again (not just the medical stuff, but also numerous gifts and services he has provided for you) but Pantalone would always shush you by kissing you. You're his lover, it's only natural that he makes sure only the best. And he will see to that. Pantalone usually likes keeping his work life away from his personal one, so as to focus all of his attention on you, but this is different. Good thing the bedroom is big enough to fit his office stuff. He also doesn't let Fatui agents come in so as to not bother or disturb you (though they are panicking over how to relay messages to the Harbinger, he gets a lot of papers slipped under the door for a while.) He keeps an eye on you more than you think, you don't really know how he multitasks like that but you're thankful regardless.

Capitano would initially be scared to hold you - you're weak right now and he's scared of accidentally hurting you. But even he can see how much you need him right now so he manages to get over his fear. He's super gentle with you, it seems uncharacteristic of a man like him but he can't help it. He wants to help you as much as someone like him can, even though he's wholly inexperienced and awkward with such things. Capitano would kind of be a large guard dog with the touch of a little puppy, he's a silent man in general so many times you find him staring at you silently as if to ask what he can do to ease your pain. Another one who's at your beck and call except he's not the best but he's learning. He's the one who has made a whole checklist and reads it off in the same voice every day, it honestly gets comedic eventually and then he's confused why you're giggling. All in all, he's not used to being so gentle, but he's always willing to do so for you.

#smooches talks #unlabeled anon #fragile reader <3 #dottore love notes <3 #pantalone love notes <3 #capitano love notes <3 #i hope you're able to find some relief soon anon... me and the harbingers are sending you all the love

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babyrdie · 3 months

Text

Achilles if he was the Champion on Olympus instead of Theseus and Asterius, inspired by a fic (by @baejax-the-great) I read recently.

I ended up drawing Achilles because I wanted to train more metal and Patroclus in this fic doesn't have much metal in his design. Maybe I'll try to do Patroclus too, but I can't promise anything because trying to imitate Hades has already taken me a long time for a train.

I tried to use Hades' style as a kind of observation study. Honestly, I already knew it was going to be difficult all along because I don't have stylization as my strong point, and also the style of this game seemed so unique that it gave me the impression that it would be difficult to replicate. All said and done, it really is. Even if I cheated by establishing a firmer pose on Achilles to avoid the need to draw a good gesture, it doesn't change that the rest is still outside my comfort area.

My conclusion was: the head is the hardest part for me, which I didn't expect. My facial style is very different from Hades' style, so it complicates my life. Plus, using just one brush for the whole thing is surprisingly good. I should practice gesturing instead of avoiding it.

And here I'm going to put some notes about Hades' style that helped me try to replicate it, but that's it: in Jen Zee's case, perceiving characteristic X is more complicated than doing characteristic X! I still think I need to train a lot to really be able to replicate it, especially in the head area. I don't know if this counts as a tutorial of sorts? But that's it, expect lots of images and explanations from here on in this post.

SHAPES

You can easily see "geometric" aspects of the drawing. It's easy to "disassemble" characters into shapes, which is a kind of basic concept often used in drawings.

I think that trying to be "sharp" is a good thing, as most of the shapes I saw on the characters were more sharp than rounded.

I got the impression that Jen Zee focuses on the macro and then goes to the micro, not micro for macro. In other words, she first establishes a visible and well-made shape and then cares about details.

This is very good in terms of anatomy, because a common mistake artists make, for example, is to care too much about detailing things like the face and muscles instead of creating a well-done silhouette. It turns out that the detailed parts are realistic, but the character as a whole has questionable anatomy. Typical case of a perfect face, but too big or small for the body.

I think the most obvious example of Hades' style is its hair. There is no separation of hair strand by strand, but rather making a large, recognizable shape that will later be further molded.

LINEART

The line is always black. Don't paint!

Lineweight: the outer line is thick but the inner lines are thin. There isn't much more line weight variation other than that.

It's mostly consistent but, in some parts, it's purposely interrupted or less polished. It's nothing so noticeable that if you do it completely polished it will greatly affect the result, but if you intend to get as close as possible I would advise you to purposefully "fail" in some parts.

Even with these "flaws", it's a CONFIDENT lineart. This means that you will have more luck copying the style of making your drawings in firm, quick strokes at once rather than slowly retouching stroke by stroke. Draw a line and if it looks bad, just do it again. I don't recommend drawing over it to fix it.

I don't know if this fits in line, but I'll put it here. There are some random lines of striking colors here and there. At first glance, you don't even notice them, although they actually help the drawing stand out, but they are there.

COLORING

Color blocking is your friend.

Don't use blending tools, and use a hard brush and hard eraser. I used one of CSP's default brushes for the entire drawing. It's a style that doesn't require fancy brushes.

From what I saw, Jen Zee doesn't paint this style in grayscale but directly in color. If your fear is getting the color wrong, using layers is a faithful companion because it's easy to change a specific part.

It's IMPOSSIBLE to do the Hades style without inking, which is that part where in the traditional drawing you would apply the ink. In Hades, this is visible in the parts that are shaded black.

Inking is MAINLY used in areas where there is less light, such as the neck, but it's also widely used on metal surfaces.

Don't insist on gradients and blurring the drawing! The shadows here are more solid, quite easy to point out where they start and where they end. In some parts, the transition is made by putting an "edge" on the shadow in a tone that is between the shadow tone and the base tone, not by blending. In others, there is no transition at all. Faces, in particular, seemingly have no transitions.

In the illuminated parts, I particularly found it easier to use rubber to shape them. First paint straight and then start erasing and making the shapes.

Highlights are very important in this style, and they are generally in a more saturated tone.

It seemed easier to follow the order of base color > lighting than base color > shading. That is, first paint in the darkest tone and then add lighter tones instead of painting light and then making it dark.

-Use of complementary colors and analogous colors in certain palettes.

Color picking can make you a little insecure about the base colors, but trust the process because color theory is crazy. The base skin tone of Achilles in Hades is a yellow that is strange at first glance, but together with the other added tones it simply looks like a normal tan. Believe me, I was surprised at first! But, sure, it doesn't all have to be color-picking.

SOME EXAMPLES IN IMAGES

And now trying to explain what I already said, but visually. If you look at the images, I recommend zooming in. Very simple images because some of them were actually loose studies and not something made with the intention of posting so don't expect anything beautiful lol

#IK #Hades Game #Supergiant #Achilles #Digital Art #Artists on Tumblr #Fic Art #Greek Mythology

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softxsuki · 11 months

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i wanted to know for the urgent request if it could be for the obey me! boys, mammon, levi, satan, asmo, and barbatos when reader has been really down and depressed and even told them they thought about committing so they comfort them for it? i haven't gotten any comforting recently and i love your writing so i was hoping you could do this :( <3

Obey Me Boys Comforting Reader With Depression

TW: PLEASE DON'T READ IF MENTIONS OF DEPRESSION, SELF-HARM, AND THOUGHTS OF SUC*DE WILL MAKE YOU FEEL WORSE RATHER THAN COMFORT YOU. THANKS

Pairing: Mammon x Gn!Reader, Levi(OM) x Gn!reader, Satan x Gn!reader, Asmo x Gn!Reader, Barbatos x Gn!reader

Warnings: mentions of self-harming and old/new scars, depression, and mentions of reader wanting/thinking of taking their own life

Genre: Comfort

Post-Type: Headcanons

Word Count: 1.8k

Summary: In which the boys find out that MC is feeling depressed and thought of taking their own life, and that they also self-harm, so they provide MC with comfort in their own way :)

[A/N: Kya!!! Thank you so much for trusting me with your urgent request! I hope I did an okay job with it. It's been a little while since I last played Obey me, so I cam very much behind with it (and I'm stuck on the regular game bc I can't level up mu cards fast enough. rip) but I really hope this brings you some kind of comfort. I'm here if you ever need anyone to talk to if if you just need someone to listen to you. Feel better soon <333]

Mammon:

Mammon notices the sudden change in your mood straight away since he’s always around you

He does his best to try and cheer you up without directly confronting you about it

So he’d invite you out with him and might even spoil you with pretty things in hopes that using his money on you helps distract you from whatever you’re feeling

But that all changes when he sees your self-harm scars

Fear fills him and he knows he can’t just avoid the topic anymore, he doesn’t want to see you in pain or have you harm yourself anymore

So one day when you’re out with him in town, he softly takes your hand and leads you to a bench away from the hustle and bustle of the town

He’s a little cautious, he’s not really good with being direct about his feelings, especially not with you because he gets so nervous and this was serious…he was scared to mess up

“Y’know MC…I may not be the best person to go to about troubling things in your life, but I want ya to know that I’m here for you. I…don’t want to lose you. Actually, I can’t lose you–never. So maybe things are hard for ya right now, but you’re one of the most important people in my life. Your problems are The Great Mammon’s problems as well, so let me in, won’t ya?”

He’s awkwardly rubbing his neck now as he feels his face heating up, but at least he got everything he wanted to say out

So when you do open up to him about your depression, self-harm, and thoughts of taking your own life, he feels relieved that you are finally speaking about it with someone, but he’s also scared that you’ve been feeling that way and he had been trying to ignore it for so long

He’s scared to let you out of his sight after that, so if he shows up to your room at 3am with a spare pillow, you know why

Mammon’s always inviting you to his room as well so you can watch stuff together until you fall asleep

Extra clingy Mammon who’ll probably bug you about how you’re feelings every few minutes, but at least you know someone cares

You’d find all your issues slowly dissolving as he covers you with love and attention, just don’t block him out

Leviathan:

Oh boy, Levi is very overdramatic when he finds out what’s been going on with you

He’s beyond scared to lose you–you’re his only best friend after all, the one who truly understands him and cares for him unconditionally

“I-I’m sorry I didn’t realize MC. I’m such a good-for-nothing. I can’t even tell when the person I care about the most is going through a tough time. Y-you’re amazing MC! You’re one of the best people I know, unlike all these other normies out there. You’re always so kind to me and I just hate that I couldn’t be there for you when you needed me…”

Yeah, he’s definitely beating himself up about it because how could he not realize???

“You’re always here for me, that’s why you’re the only one I felt comfortable telling this to. Please don’t blame yourself…I kinda didn’t want anyone to know at first; I thought I could deal with it on my own…” You’d explain to him

He’s a little relieved to hear it, but it still won’t make him feel any better

Levi is always throwing himself in the ground, so not being there for you at a time when you really needed him AND when he could have potentially lost you, scares him to death

Like Mammon, he keeps you by his side, but in your room since he sleeps in his tub and that’s not very comfortable for you LOL

He’d move all his games and game stations into your room and make a little base there to stay by your side until you’re feeling better

He probably goes to one of his older brothers who are more responsible like Lucifer or Satan and asks for their advice (without giving you away ofc. He’d make it sound like one of his online friends are dealing with this issue since you only trusted him with this info)

He’s very awkward and shy at times, but he’s glad that you trusted him to let him in on the pain you were feeling internally. He makes it his mission (literally, like he’s playing a game, but knowing that it’s far more serious) to get you back on your feet and in a better mental state

And we all know Levi is good at games, so this is one he won’t fail either :)

Satan:

Satan reads a lot, books of all genres, so he picked up on your sudden change in behavior very quickly and he’s actually the one who goes to you first to talk about it

“What’s going on?” He bluntly asks one day when you’re in his room reading with him in a peaceful silence

That catches you off guard…did he know? You could see the serious look on his face so you decide to just open up to him about everything; the depression, the self-harm, and even the thoughts that flash through your mind of taking your own life

Satan listens silently as you speak, taking in all your words and you see his eyes soften the more you reveal to him

“I see…” he’s lost in thought for a moment, but then stands up and walks over to you, taking your hands in his as he leaves a gentle kiss to the back of your hand. “I knew something was up, but I wanted to hear it from you before I assumed too much. I’m sorry you’ve been feeling this way. I’m here though, and now that I know what’s going on, I’ll do anything and everything I can to ensure you feel better.”

And he really will

Whenever you come over to his room to do your daily reading together in each others presence, he spends his time reading books on mental health that give him plenty of advice on how to best help you

He isn’t overbearing though, he gives you your space and allows you to reach out to him whenever you need him, only checking up on you when it seems appropriate so you don’t feel suffocated, but deep down he is worried and scared to lose you

So he offers you his own help, but also asks if you’d like to go to the human world to see or speak to a professional who might be more helpful to you than he could be

He even volunteers to go along with you if you don’t want to go alone–he just wants you to be happy again to not feel so claustrophobic in your own skin

Whatever you decide to do, just know that you have his 10000000% support

Asmodeus:

This man is very dramatic as well, but in a different way than Levi…

He throws tons of compliments your way in hopes that they help lift you up, but really, he’s better at giving physical acts of care

SO, your self-harm scars? He goes out of his way to wash them up and lotion them up, pressing small kisses the the older scars and newer ones as well

“Even with these marks, your skin is still as soft and beautiful as ever, darling. My lovely MC, I’ll do everything I can to take care of you from now on. I’ll pamper you everyday and remind you how much you mean to me, so please don’t harm yourself any longer…”

Asmo isn’t one to be very serious at times, but he knows now isn’t the time to joke around with you, so he’s uncharacteristically very serious, yet still as charming as ever

He’ll treat you to extra tight hugs and kisses, a little scared to let go in fear that he’d never be able to hold you again, so bear with him a little…he can be a bit suffocating

He isn’t the best listener or remarkably great at giving advice that doesn’t have anything to do with fashion or beauty, so he’d probably go to Lucifer for help, or maybe even Solomon, who’s more familiar with human emotions like depression

Anything you need or want, Asmo will get it for you

Get ready to feel more loved than you’ve ever felt before in your life

Barbatos:

He knows…of course he knows, Barbatos knows everything 😀

The first time you attempted to self-harm, he was there to stop you, so you never even got the chance

What he didn’t know about though was your thoughts of attempting to take your life, since you never actually made the move to do it, you only really thought about it

So when he sits down with you to hear you out about attempting to self-harm and you open up about your other darker secrets as well, he’s shocked

Momentarily, it’ll show on his face, but he’ll catch himself and gently smile to you as you continue to speak your mind

He doesn't want you to feel embarrassed by any of this or to beat yourself up for getting caught or for feeling what you feel–you were human and humans experienced moments of intense emotions that they can’t control sometimes, he understood this very well

“Oh dear MC, I am relieved that I was able to stop you this time. Though, I must admit I do feel particularly regretful that I am not able to read minds so I could put your own mind to rest from your dark thoughts. Now that I am aware of everything, I shall do my best to assist you in recovering mentally”

He’s not the most emotional guy out there, but you know he cares for you and when Barbatos dedicates his time and attention to something, he WILL get it done

Barbatos takes your hand in his and presses a delicate kiss onto each of your fingers, and leans his head onto the back of your hand, in almost a way that he’s ready and willing to serve you (not that he didn’t already, but it’s more of like his own way of physically showing his dedication to you??? Does that make sense? KINDA like when a knight is knighted and vows to protect whoever he’s assigned to??? Am I making sense? hopefully…)

He doesn’t need to keep an eye on you because he’d be able to stop you anyway if you ever decided to do anything drastic, but he does free up time in his busy schedule to be with you, he’s dedicated to serving Diavolo, but you very quickly become his number one priority (you already were, but he was never aware of it himself lol)

I don’t know, but I just feel like Barbatos is such a soothing person to be with, his voice is like silk, it wraps you up like a warm blanket and feels like a big tight hug when you need it the most

SO I imagine you’d feel better pretty quickly with all the attention he’s giving you, and the warm tea he makes you????! You’re set for life, get ready to feel brand new

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted: 7/11/2023

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orange-orchard-system · 4 months

Text

Got a hate ask on my other blog (funnier-as-a-system) today. I'm not gonna respond to it directly, but I'm gonna go over it fully just as an example of why I don't take anti-endos or sysmeds seriously and find them to be just bullying assholes who don't know what they're talking about. Apologies for the rare discourse post, but I felt it would be useful to have a personal example I can point to if I ever get any more asks than I already have about why I block anti-endos and sysmeds and don't want them on my blogs.

[ID: A screenshot of an anonymous ask, which reads: ""Systems" aren't real. Please stop being ableist against people with DID and our struggles. Pretending to be one of us while simultaneously mocking us makes you look like a piece of shit. Also, DID isn't fucking funny, you're just cruel and ableist. Go see a psychiatrist, get your personality disorders and Munchausens taken care of, and stop pretending to have DID when you don't. We don't need you, our community is better off without teenagers faking DID as a meme. To be honest, I wish you and literally everyone like you were more likely to kill yourself as someone with a real mental illness, because you don't deserve to be alive if this is what you're doing with your life. You're just a delusional bully and neo-nazi" ./ end ID]

Starting from the top, apparently anyone with DID who's ever described themselves as a system is faking now. Nevermind that it's been a term in psychology and the community for decades now! All systems are fake!

I have DID. I've said as much many times. Not that I think this person would consider this a counterargument, but I feel it deserves restating considering a fair amount of my posts are specifically about my DID and managing the symptoms of it.

If I want to find humor in my own disorder, I'm going to. I'm not going to resign myself to misery and self-hate just to please some randos on the Internet. I crawled my way out of the pit of self-hate and am not just gonna jump in there again just to avoid a couple asks and assholes. And I'd make a point here about systems that don't come from trauma or aren't disordered, but what's the point of that when they think literally all systems are fake?

Ohoho! Disableism towards other mental disorders! Isn't the irony sweet?

Not to toot my own horn, but I just love the lack of awareness when it comes to "we don't need you." No, I guess you don't need me... but you'll be going without the work I've done both online and offline to teach people about dissociation and plurality. Not to mention the terms I've coined that make people feel seen, the experiences I've talked about that make people feel less alone, the building of spaces to let others talk about their own problems and experiences, and the general promotion I've done of plural representation in media. No, you don't need me, but I've been doing work to assist the DID and wider plural communities for years now. And what have you been doing? Sending hate asks to people with DID for being too happy?

I'm an adult. I've mentioned before that I go to university and have a job. Seems like even online, I can't escape the assumption that I'm a teenager, smh. Also, I'm much more worried about the teenagers you might be sending this to than any kind of unquantifiable harm a couple teenagers faking DID could do, considering how clearly you wish to do harm with your words. Especially considering the next few sentences...

Oh, so we're just moving onto blatant suicide baiting and admitting you want systems to die. Got it. Totally not a bigot, right.

Wait... "Real mental illnesses"? Didn't you just accuse me of having several earlier? Or do personality disorders and Munchausen Syndrome not count? (Also, do they think being suicidal is a requirement to be mentally ill? They know not all disorders or presentations of disorders involve suicidality, right?)

Well, you got the delusional part right (which, side note, do you think it's impossible for people to have both DID and psychosis? Big yikes even if no, but that's what these asks always seem to imply), but I think this post might be the closest anyone can call "bullying", considering I'm not giving you an opportunity to respond as I tear down your argument. But maybe the definition of peer abuse changed to *checks notes* running a blog talking about plurality in a positive manner since I last checked.

These people do know what a Neo-Nazi is, right? They know what a Nazi is? Because it feels like people just use it as a stand-in for "general asshole" when it means a specific sort of ideology and bigotry. Ironic that they'd be so pissed about "mockery" and treating serious topics "as a meme", but then they go and misuse a term for a very dangerous kind of ideology and person.

Alright, I think I got that out of my system. Please be careful out there, guys! It feels like the number of hate asks I've seen people get has been going up. I'm in a stable enough place to make a demonstration out of this, but don't push yourself to have a snappy comeback or write essays responding to these assholes if you don't think you're up for it. Hell, I rarely write things like this myself, I just chose this ask to respond to because it was such a clear example of how hypocritical and foolish this particular brand of assholes is that I couldn't pass up the opportunity to break it down.

#syscourse #disableism #front soup.txt #suicide baiting

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autistichalsin · 5 months

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Okay, I’ve been a bit scared because I’ve been observing from the sidelines, but I do want you to know this isn’t a hateful or troll ask, I’m genuinely asking for clarification.

In my experience, “pro-shipping” has always meant ‘problematic shipping’, and all of the people I’ve talked to about this have said the same thing.

Am I the one who’s misconstrued? I really don’t get it.

Being called “pro-harassment” or “pro-censorship” is hurtful and confusing as all hell.

I don’t harass people for what they create. I don’t care to do that. I block and move on, and warn people if I know they could be upset by the content.

But I also don’t understand how certain things are justified.

I am personally not bothered by much, but I have watched friends and acquaintances go through visceral traumatic reactions because people have decided to air out their coping by sharing it with the public. (I.E, people who write romantic incestual fics, etc)

I don’t give a shit what people write. I really don’t. But it feels harmful to use the excuse of coping when you, in turn, could be hurting dozens of others.

Like I said, I genuinely am not trying to be hateful here. I’m confused, and still distraught that all of this is happening. I don’t think anyone deserves to be harassed. I just also don’t get the logic here.

Pro-shipping never once meant problematic shipping. It meant opposite of "anti" because antis would come and invade the tags and asks, calling them all kinds of names if they found their ships distasteful.

Sorry that being indirectly accused of supporting harassment hurt your feelings. Imagine how I felt, being DIRECTLY accused of supporting rape in real life because of my taste in fiction. You are throwing in your lot with people who can't distinguish fantasy and reality.

I don't like incest fics either, anon. They are triggering for me. So you know what I do? I don't read fics tagged as incest. For that reason, I have never been triggered by an incest fic. I suppose I would be if I read an incest fic that wasn't tagged as much, but you will never find a single pro-shipper who defends posting such content without a tag. You are responsible for your own experience online; it is your job to curate the content.

If it was just seeing that the fic exists that triggered the response, then I'm sorry to say they're still in the wrong. As a survivor, learning that triggers exist and how to navigate those triggers is on you. We are responsible for how we deal with our trauma. Your friends didn't deserve their traumas, and they deserve kindness and support, but requesting that people never be allowed to write distasteful fiction so that they don't have to be upset by the idea that someone somewhere shipped incest is not reasonable. Their feelings are valid; it's totally reasonable to be triggered, to strictly curate your online experience. It's reasonable to block everyone who ships the upsetting incest ships, to put an "incest shippers DNI" on your page, all of it. It's not reasonable to call them supporters of IRL incest or to accuse them of causing your trauma. It isn't hard at all on AO3 or Tumblr; they even give you the option to blacklist/filter out certain tags so you can avoid it without blocking users. There's easily half a dozen safeguards that already exist that are a lot less radical, a lot less likely to be weaponized against queer users, and a lot easier to enforce than trying to remove them.

Me writing fics, such as a character using kink to cope, can only harm a user who doesn't curate their feed (and who reads fics they know will trigger them, which I can only assume would then be a purposeful form of self-harm). Denying other survivors their coping mechanism, though, IS a direct form of harm. Stigmatizing recovery by saying that survivors are in any way akin to abusers for creating fiction is a direct form of harm.

It sounds to me like you've absorbed some very harmful and very narrow ideas of what recovery should and should not look like, and what is and isn't a good/valid survivor. You might want to reflect on why you're turning your attention to policing what survivors do to cope so much.

#proship #proshipper #discourse

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