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forthedancingandthethriving · 6 months

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Revamping what started this whole AU..

Factory Reset In Progress

(Reminder that Factory Reset is/was a collaborative effort between me, @fandomandangstlover , @duckapus , and several anons on Engie's (fandomandangstlover) blog! Credit and huge thanks to everyone who pitched in that day to help make this AU what it is now!)

(Orignal arc post!)

This isn't that huge because I'm just making major changes. Everything else is left alone, mostly because I see no need to change it. But ideas and suggestions are always welcome!

Efficiency Arc

A reminder that this is the first arc that kicks off the AU, and this is pre-character development for nearly every character. That, and the Higher-Ups/Admins/Code World have not been introduced. This revamp, however, is being made with the new world building we have!

The beginning of this Arc is relatively the same, with SMG4 being shown as more spacey, almost like he's in a trance. A change, though, is that some scenes are shown with SMG3 experiencing similar things, being spacey, and generally having a hard time focusing. When the two are together and like this, they work together scarily well, letting everyone know something wrong.

Like the old arc, it goes from 0 to 100 incredibly fast with The Coding where both SMG4 and SMG3 are reset. A big change, though, would be showing just how different they are now. They work together absolutely flawlessly, rarely voice any complaints, and are generally very distrustful of the others.

In Please Wake Up, stuff is massively changed. SMG1 and SMG2 don't know what's wrong with 3&4 this time around, but they are able to deduce that it's almost like they've been reset. But they do tell the gang their best bet of figuring out what's went wrong is by finding either 4 or 3's Pod.

The WOTFI goes the same, except we would get to see a scene of Mario meeting with Domain (but at the moment he doesn't know his name) after finding 3's Pod. Mario explains everything (he's shitting bricks the whole time) and we don't get Domain's answer, except for his eyes narrowing.

Of course, come when everyone looks lost in the battle, Mario arrives with the bow and arrows Domain and Forum gave him to give Singularity its just deserts. It's code crumbles away, but a few stray pieces manage to hide away and sneak their way back to the Pods..

There'd be a lot of emphasis on just how scary this is for everyone because this is completely different from everything that's happened, and it's giving Mario and Meggy some serious flashbacks to the Lawsuit Arc when everyone didn't remember them.

This also gives time for SMG4 to reflect once he's been freed, and he realizes how badly he's been treating Mario, and he decides that he needs to start being a better friend before something similar happens again.

When Mario gets asked how he managed to get that bow & arrow, he says the "Mario recolor in 3's Pod gave it to me-a!" Everyone goes to investigate, Domain isn't present. Everyone's very confused, but.. decide that, presently, its not something they should worry about.

As they leave, we get a full look at Domain, who only crosses his arms with a stoic face.

New Hope Arc

The arc that changes the most. There's still tons of aftereffects from Singularity's rampage, SMG4 and SMG3 being the most harmed. Their code is still incredibly fried and damaged, and SMG1&2 are clueless on this and how long it'll take for them to recover.

There's a lot of focus on recovery in their arc, and Lil Coding doesn't get introduced as early as he did last time. It's midway through the arc that he does, and it's because 4&3's code has gotten to the point where he actually needs to step up and intervene. Everyone is understandably suspicious, but the Code Manifestation simply does the code repairs and leaves as soon as he can.

It always bothered me how quickly everyone grew to trust Lil Coding, so it takes a while longer for them to come around to him. LC takes most of the initiative, coming around and helping his SMGs code and repairing it. It takes a while, but they do slowly come around.

Singularity hiding in Lil Coding's own code stays the same, and him progressively getting weaker as it takes his own code as well. The overflow command happens just the same, with Singularity coming back.

The Burden Arc

It's actually Lil Coding this time that says they need to go to the Pods, with him saying that this is something far out of his control and permission range, and they need the Admins. Everyone is confused (save for Mario), but they head to the Pods. There, we finally get the proper introduction of two of the three Admins for SM64: Domain and Forum.

We get some lore from them, them explaining that they're the Admins of 3&4 along with what Lil Coding is. Not everything is explained, of course, but we do get what's relevant and necessary to the plot.

Lil Coding and Singularity being linked stays the same, and of course, not wanting Lil Coding to end up dying, everyone looks for a way to separate them. Domain and Forum could do this, but they don't because remember. This is before all of the chatacter development everyone has had, so they're nowhere near as attached as they are now.

Eventually, Lil Coding does his thing to go and get rid of Singularity, but this time, instead of the whole stone statue thing, he's just in an indefinite power down mode until he heals. The electricity overload he does nearly completely fries his own code, but it does end up killing Singularity.

I think this is a good starting point for Domain and Forum's actual character development and to also plant the seeds of them being the SMG Prototypes. They are both incredibly confused by how upset everyone is and why they feel like something is repeating with how everyone's acting. So they decide to help out and speed up Lil Coding's recovery. I'll say that this is the start of their actual relationship with everyone.

#factory reset in progress #efficiency arc #new hope arc #the burden arc #fanmade arc #!posts!#not tagging any characters because its just a revamp #finally got this done! it was giving me trouble because I was going back and forth on changes #but I've got it done and Im happy! Its a nice little thing to look and see just how much my abilites as a writer have changed since April #man.. this started all the way back in April. Crazy to think about tbh..

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thenightlymartini · 1 year

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Your older headcannon #9 from May 11th 2015.

Could I request you write it again/revamp it? Because my brain has been running circles around the idea for hours, and I can't quite explain it, but the possible situations + reactions of others has been taking up space in my thought processes.

I was almost dreading what I wrote in that one since I forgot and many of the earlier ones I was thinking about either revamping or deleting because they were either super cringey or I no longer support these really old headcannons. Also didn't realize I started this blog back in 2015, and I thought I started this only maybe less than 5 years ago. Not even 30 yet, and I already feel old.

Honestly, though? I think that headcannon was probably one of my better ones, but does need some serious revamping.

For reference and short summary of what that headcannon was, it was basically about the two Koreas swapping personalities because they overheard America and Russia making comments about how they are exact opposites.

CW: mentions of Korean War, mentions of the politics and cultural issues/feelings surrounding Korean unification slightly/partially toxic actions, miscommunication, hurt feelings, censored curse words

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One of my personal headcannons for the two Koreas is that, way back when they were younger and representatives of Silla and Goguryeo, they would often swap places, more than just personalities, when China or Japan either did something that ticked them off or rubbed them the wrong way, just to make revenge sweeter. Sometimes they would swap places entirely for joking or prank purposes, too. They were more identical looking back then, since I doubt SK's modern hairstyle was that common back more than a millennia ago, so it was far easier to do these swaps and they were extremely good actors, thus making it far more convincing.

As time grew on, and China and Japan getting wiser to knowing when these two swapped, it became less and less common, possibly even stopping altogether about a few decades before Europeans came bashing on East Asia's doorstep. Obviously, the war between each other soured relations to the point where any fond memories they had together became bitter or they would suppress them both out of spite and pain.

Fast-forward to the later half of the Cold War (maybe around late 70s early 80s, though I haven't thought that part through yet), and the Koreas run into each other and they start a petty argument just for the sake of not being able to stand each other. Before they get super heated, they hear muffled voices arguing in a room just beside them that they can both clearly tell were Russia and America. As much as they couldn't stand each other, even starting issues that almost caused WW3 themselves, they both knew leaving their boyfriends to fight was not a good idea and it was a far more pressing matter than what they were currently arguing over. These two are also about 80-90% of America and Russia's emotional and impulse control, as these two typically can pull the two super powers apart with relative ease and lack of fear whereas others are too scared to intervene, mostly because they realize they are much older than their boyfriends and typically have to be the more mature ones at least 90% of the time when it comes to conflict resolution.

Their anger and annoyance dissipates when North Korea, just before going to open the door, stops dead and quietly motions SK over to listen in. This is when they start hearing their boyfriends arguing over the Koreas, basically the gist of it going "well my boyfriend is better because ___", "no, mine's better cause he's not ___ like yours", and so on. It makes both Koreas slightly prideful and get fuzzy feelings knowing their boyfriends are that into them that they will stand up for them and boast about them, but they are also slightly miffed at the fact that they still got dragged into one of their arguments that is clearly going to become a reason for nuclear war if there is no intervention, and that there was a slight implication (from the Koreans' point of view) that the differences was going to make unification much more difficult or the drastic differences were the result of the split. Thankfully, America's 10-20% own impulse control kicked in and he storms out (shortly after the two Koreas scrambled into hiding) and Russia leaves, too.

This is when the gears in both of the twins' heads start turning because they seem pretty miffed at the idea that they are so different now it is so easy to tell them apart. Granted they definitely changed physically, but their personalities couldn't be that different since they could easily impersonate the other before. So in a combination of wanting to teach their boyfriends a lesson in not dragging them into their arguments, being hurt that their boyfriends think that unification wasn't going to work or not happen at all, as well as a personal challenge in impersonating the other, they both just give each other a look that still clearly communicated what the other was thinking. I headcannon that these two were so close that they had borderline telepathic connections and could communicate through each other's minds and thoughts, but only due to close bonds and sharing the same people (which of course becomes extremely hard to initiate, much less with clarity, after the war because of the shattered bond and the division, so very few times are they ever able to understand what the other is thinking without context or physical indicators).

Now, when they think this will be easy, they realize later after practicing a little that their acting skills have become super rusty and it was a lot harder. Of course these two are too prideful to ask the other for help, so over the course of the rest of the world meeting (maybe a few days to a week) they are covertly trying to glean information from the other on how to recreate the personalities, sometimes communicating indirectly or just observing the other as discretely as possible. Eventually one of them caves, probably SK, and directly talks to the other that once they get their act together they really need to time the personality change correctly, as if one started earlier than the other the jig was probably going to be up. So it was decided the first day of the next global meeting was going to be when they would initiate their plan, starting with subtle changes before ramping up to full personality change, which was about a few months out.

Once it begins, the more subtler changes were mostly about one needing more impulse control and the other learning to let go. SK had to be more aloof and generally have a better poker face to one of a mix of tiredness and annoyance, while NK had to be more talkative and nonchalant. This change immediately set off a few alarm bells in Russia and America's minds, but America first thought either SK had a bad night's sleep or just was mulling over something that was irritating him, while Russia simply thought NK was just having a better day or so happened to sleep a whole night through without night terrors or insomnia.

As time progresses, they change more and more and that's when America and Russia start seriously thinking something is up. The instance America realized something was wrong was in front of Canada, England, France and Japan when SK got super snippy with him and reject a lot of physical touch. 3 of the 4 previously listed nations simply questioned whether America did something to piss him off. Russia notices something off when Cuba and Vietnam start getting tense over some sort of argument and NK is, essentially, playing oblivious rather than being the referee between the two, much less playing dumb to double entendres and back-handed compliments, while China seems to have a knowing smirk.

Japan and China clearly know what is happening and see right through the charade. They've been the targets of this prank too often to not realize when it is happening. But, they are much more inclined to stay silent about it because it is far more intriguing to watch this play out when the intended target is not themselves. There's also curiosity as to what exactly Russia and America did to warrant this particular prank, but they are much more amused and find it to be great entertainment. It's almost like an inside joke among East Asia, including Mongolia, since it has happened so much, so most of East Asia knows what's happening but are under a silent agreement to let this play out. Vietnam eventually is clued in by China, but she also finds it really amusing to know Russia is being targeted and stays quiet.

This charade comes to halt quite quickly on both ends due to their shared issues with essentially causing their respective boyfriends distress. America eventually tries to talk to SK about what is going on, fully believing he did something to upset the other, which results in SK, still maintaining the act, escalating the issue into a fight that ends with America in tears because he doesn't understand what happened. SK calls off the charade right there because he realized he f!ed up big time and he went far past fun and games. Russia basically was trying to be tactful but ends up shooting himself in the foot metaphorically speaking because he is trying to tell NK that he is concerned because he is not acting like his usual self, not that he minds the other being sweet or playful, but he is concerned with the sudden change. Course, Russia gets so tongue-tied and nervous that he becomes super distressed, resulting in NK calling off his end of the charade realizing he was essentially tricking Russia who really trusted him.

Trying to explain what happened and how both Koreas agreed to a personality change was so outlandish that not only did America and Russia find it super hard to believe, but also the Koreas had to call each other for the first time outside of political obligations, where they find out about the other's respective calling off of the charade, and agreed all 4 of them needed to have a sit down about this. The last day of the meetings, both Koreas sit the superpowers down and have a long talk showing how the whole thing came about, including why they decided to do it. Specifically addressing the fact that they both had the thought process their boyfriends were implying that unification wasn't going to happen and how that seriously hurt their feelings, but also admitting they themselves went too far with the prank by hurting them. Things thankfully smoothed out, though both NK and SK had to spill the beans on how often they actually swapped places when they were younger, which baffled America and Russia at how often it actually happened.

This ties into one of my more recent posts about New Years Resolutions, particularly SK making the same one each year in wanting and trying to have a better relationship with NK. This was the moment that decided for SK on wanting a better relationship because both he and his brother are not only on the same page for once since the beginning of the 20th century, but that both genuinely want reunification for the benefit of the people rather than politically. A lot of what is unsaid between the twins also influenced this decision, such as the regret, the sadness, and the general understanding that both of them were hurting just as much and not as one-sided as previously thought.

Bonus

Japan and China had started a betting pool about when the charade would be up among the East Asians (to which Japan won cause China thought the game would last far longer due to both America and Russia's obliviousness). They most certainly snooped on the private meeting between the 4 of them to find out, and now it has become an inside joke between the two of them. They did leave when it started getting about personal topics, though; they knew when certain conversations needed to stay private. It didn't stop them from having their own existential thoughts on the situation of the peninsula, along with their own roles that helped result in said situation.

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7larson · 4 months

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tbiny devlog #2

this is a repost of a blog article originally made at near-midnight august 21st, 2023 as i am migrating my blog to a new host. there was only two already written, everything here on out should be new :)

i should have been at work today, but i woke up with a horrible migraine, so instead, i called out and slept in. when i woke up, the migraine was still pretty bad, not in a state to go to work, but i wanted to finish setting up this blog and revamping my website, so i did that. don’t look at my commit history, it’s a mess. don’t migraine & code, kiddies.

today i want to get into a little bit about what the story of this game will be, its inspirations, etc. since it’s an idea i’ve had floating around for awhile, so that’s what we’ll jump into!

many eons ago, i got really interested in the concept of a ghost or spirit that lives in the body of or is otherwise attached to another person. this isn’t a unique idea, of course, it’s been done in a lot of media. the thing that originally drew me to the idea in this case was the Chronicles of Darkness book, Geist: The Sin-Eaters, but a lot of other media i’ve loved over the years has explored similar ideas in different ways, particularly The Blackwell series by Wadjet Eye Games.

i made characters based on this concept, but really wanted to incorporate this idea of the host being the main character, and transgender, and the spirit not knowing how to grapple with that, or something along those lines. in the end i don’t think it works well that way, or at least, is as interesting. i think there’s a lot more room for trans allegory in the spirit being the main character, and being trapped within the body, and having to cope with it being a different body than the one they came from. i want to explore things like gender and mental health through that super cool urban fantasy lens i’ve always grown up being attracted to, and what better way to do it through this story!

so that’s where our story starts. This Body is Not Yours is the working title, i don’t know if that will be the finished title, but that’s what i’m going with for now. you play as a ghost who, in the afterlife, made a deal with a dying person to bring them back to life on the condition that you’re bound to them now. and when you wake up, you don’t immediately remember that, because memories are a little weird when you don’t have a body for a long time. don’t think about it too hard, it’s better for the narrative if you learn these things slowly, i think.

i’ll make it make sense. maybe.

so on to day two of development.

first, i learned some more basics of conditional statements and how to edit sentences partway through using them for quality of reading, basically. i think that will come in handy later.

next, that CSS thing from yesterday was really starting to bug me, and with some caffeine for my migraine and the powers of google, i was able to thankfully find the solution. it turns out i just need to only be exporting the story.js once i have the CSS styling the way i want. oops!

with that in mind, i went ahead and did some more serious CSS styling, so now the game is nice and moody and has an appropriate light and dark theme :) i usually use light theme for everything, because my eyes suck, but i know most people prefer dark theme and it fits the setting, so here’s what it looks like now.

also, i commented out something i want to use later, but left it there so i can use it… later.

i also found out i can use ink’s class defining to define lines that i stitched together through scenes using glue (this all sounds ridiculous if you’re not familiar with ink, but knots, stitches, and glue are all real terms) so i can change the color of what appears to be a single line in the game, even if it’s split into a couple segments in the file. very useful!

this is pretty much it for technical stuff today, i think, the rest is just writing! so… this has been a devlog. tune in next time for god knows what!

#devlog #solo game dev #game development #tbiny

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chickenmcstucky · 3 years

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FIRST OFF YOUR REVAMP OF YOUR BLOG?!?! *chef’s kiss* 😭😭😭 second... 👉👈 if you’re able to do requests 👉👈 can I request 40s!bucky advancing with reader on a date? Maybe before he gets shipped out? 👉👈 you can do whatever you want with it! Thank you for reading this AND I CAN’T WAIT FOR WHATS TO COME FROM YOU

ROSEEEEEEE you are my heart omg <3 seriously none of this would be happening without you. I did a little headcanon-style thing for this, I hope that’s okay and that you like it!! Also this got really long, its basically a full length fic in bullet point form lol

So because I love a soft, sweet Bucky, it starts like this -

You were on a first date with some guy your mother had set you up with, seeing as his mother and your mother were friendly

At first you were excited, you’d never really talked to him much but he was handsome and you thought maybe it could go somewhere

All your girlfriends were always going on dates and having a good time, while you usually preferred to stay in with a good book, and to be honest you’d never gotten as much interest from fellas as them but that was alright, you were happy as you were

So there you were, out on the first date with Freddie Jameson, and from the start it was...less than great

He picked you up late, didn’t even compliment your dress, did none of the things your girlfriends were always gushing over guys for doing

On your way to the cinema, he was absolutely talking your ear off about some stupid argument he had with some guys down at the docks where he did the books

You couldn’t get a word in edgewise, but honestly you didn’t wanna talk anyways because this guy was just not who you expected or wanted...some big macho guy obsessed with his reputation and single-minded to the point of barely paying attention to you? No thanks. You knew your worth

You were determined to push through the date, hopeful to a fault, so when you arrived to the cinema and he let you pick the film, you were surprised, but picked the new sci-fi film The Invisible Woman

From the way Freddie scoffed at this, and grudgingly bought the tickets, acting like it was an inconvenience, you should’ve known things would only get worse, but on into the theater you went

When Freddie realized the story revolved around a woman - one getting comedic revenge on her boss, no less - he gave you some choice words about how you were forcing this new-age mess on him, how he didn’t really wanna take you out anyways but had been “kind” enough to give you a chance, this that and the other thing until you were in tears and your face was so hot you were sure the temperature in the theater had raised a few degrees

When someone in the theater finally spoke up, it wasn’t even to defend you, but to tell you two to take it the heck outside and stop interrupting

Freddie stomped right out, and with your only other option being to cower in the theater, alone, for the rest of the film, you left too

By the time you made it outside, Freddie was long gone, and you barely managed to slink around the corner to the back alley before the tears started falling in earnest

Just your luck to finally go on a date, and get left in the lurch and embarrassed in front of a whole theater of strangers

As you stood against the brick wall in the darkness of the warm night, you tried to calm yourself down enough to catch the streetcar back home so you could sulk in the privacy of your own room

Suddenly you heard two male voices and your head jerked up because you really didn’t need more humiliation - or worse, danger - right now

But when you saw the two men come around the corner, you relaxed seeing it was none other than Bucky Barnes and little Steve Rogers, and you knew they wouldn’t cause you trouble, Bucky was an Army man after all, just back from basic training

You’d never really interacted with them except as children, knowing Steve could be a real spitfire and Bucky a sweet flirt, but they were good men without poor reputations relating to ladies

Still, you rather hoped they’d just pass on by you without noticing, because really, you’d had enough for the night

Just your luck, though, Steve noticed - he must’ve known how it felt to be sulking, defeated, in an alleyway and sensed your struggle

As you made eye contact with him, you saw him nudge Bucky, who had yet to notice, and gesture towards you, the two of them still a fair distance from you

They immediately turned course and walked right towards you, as you just stood there blinking like a deer in headlights, unsure how to act and stuck between embarrassment for your state and hope that maybe you could at least ask them to accompany you to the streetcar stop so you didn’t have to go alone in the dark

“Uh, you alright there?” Steve spoke first as they came to a stop in front of you, scuffing his foot against the dusty pavement as Bucky took in your appearance, you feeling his eyes run over you from head to toe

You sniffled, unsure what to say and not wanting to reveal to them the humiliation you’d suffered - though you knew Freddie had been a real jerk, it was your pride that would suffer the more people knew what had happened

Then a smooth, sweet voice broke the silence, “did something happen, doll? What’s a nice dame like you doing alone in some back alley at night, huh?”

Something about the softness in his voice enveloped you in safety, and you couldn’t help but blurt the truth, “oh, it’s just awful, I was meant to be on a date with Freddie Jameson and he was so coarse and he just humiliated me in front of everyone and then just left,” your voice broke on the last word as the tears threatened again

When you raised your head back up, you saw a cold look of anger come over both mens’ faces, “that Freddie ain’t nothing but a jerk,” Bucky harrumphed, and Steve nodded ferociously, a look of determination coming over his face

“Somebody oughta teach him a lesson, that ain’t no way to treat a dame,” Steve growled, and before you or Bucky could protest, he stalked off, presumably in search of Freddie; you never forgot how once in grade school he’d punched a boy for pulling your hair, he hadn’t changed at all of course

You couldn’t help but laugh, knowing he’d show up tomorrow with a split lip and a black eye, but endeared by his passion in defending you

At your own giggle, Bucky’s handsome face broke out in a soft smile, as you shared a moment of reprieve from your upset

“I’m real sorry, doll, you didn’t deserve to be treated like that - Freddie don’t know what he’s missin, alright?” he spoke gently, and you couldn’t help but believe he meant it, seeing something in his eyes that gave you sweet pause

“I guess I know that, it’s just - I never - finally a date and it goes like this,” you scoffed, shrugging

“You never had a date before, doll?” you were surprised to see some genuine shock on his face

“Well, not never, I mean, just nothin serious now that I’m out of school and all, I guess…” you trailed off - here you were admitting to one of the handsomest GIs around that you didn’t have dates every Friday night like the other girls

“Well, we’re gonna have to fix that,” Bucky’s head tilted up, as if daring you to protest, a confident expression on his young face

“Oh, can’t I just go home, Bucky? I don’t wanna see Freddie again,” you kept the whine out of your voice, but just barely, thinking he was gonna find Steve and Freddie and force Freddie to finish your date

“I, uh, I meant - well, how bout I accompany you home, pretty girl like you shouldn’t have to walk around alone,” he insisted, but the slight pinkness on his face confused you, soon realizing perhaps you’d misunderstood his statement

Relief washed over you, though the sting of Freddie’s actions was still fresh, you were glad to not have to journey home alone; explaining to your mother why you were home so early was going to be bad enough as it was

“Gee, Bucky, that’s so kind of you,” you smiled, and he offered you the crook of his arm

“You’re over at Sycamore, right?” he inquired, and you realized perhaps he had paid you more attention over the years than you’d noticed, as you nodded yes

Gently, you wrapped your arm around his elbow, the soft fabric of his handsome uniform rubbing against your bare skin, and with your manicured fingers pressed against his forearm, something so right seemed to click into place, an unfamiliar yet not unwelcome feeling

As he walked you down the avenue, you were at first quiet, still unsure how to start a conversation with someone who had found you in such a state and who was being so kind

But Bucky, ever the ladies’ man, kept the conversation going, and as he talked about the upcoming Stark expo after he saw your eyes draw to the colorful advertisement for it on the front of the ice cream parlor

you were struck by the fact that you and Bucky really shared similar interests - innovation, sci-fi, adventure...soon you found yourself enthusiastically talking to him about all your favorite adventure books and how you hoped to see Stark himself present at the expo when it opened next month

Before you knew it, you were in front of your family’s apartment building; you hadn’t even realized Bucky had skipped the streetcar and walked you all the way home

You were struck by how much you wished the walk was longer, or that you could linger outside, but you already felt like Bucky had done enough for you and you knew you should go inside and face the music, get it over with

You slowly pulled your arm from its perch on Bucky’s, but before you could pull away fully, he caught your soft hand in his larger one as he gazed into your eyes

“Well, guess you’re home safe now, doll, it was real nice talking to ya,” he laughed a little, but he didn’t release his grasp on your hand

“That was the most fun I’ve had in a long while,” you laughed at yourself, “tonight wasn’t so bad after all,” you smiled at him and squeezed his hand, his reticence to leave giving you courage as you flirted

“Thank you again, Bucky, you really didn’t have to do this but I’m so grateful,” the earnestness in your voice shocked even you; he had really saved you from taking the streetcar alone, and had chased your upset mood right away with his boyish passion in your conversation

“My pleasure, honey. Listen, I know you might not wanna after such a bad experience, but hows about I take you on a proper date sometime? I’d really like to get to know you more, and besides, someone oughta show you what Freddie failed at,” your heart thumped at the offer and the prospect of someone like him wanting you

You were still scared though, what if it was just pity that had led him to talk you home and ask you out? What if the date went just as badly, and it turned out you were the problem, and not Freddie?

You realized your silence after his question had stretched out an uncomfortable amount as you saw his sheepish look, his hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck nervously

Before he got the wrong idea, you finally found your voice, “I’d like that,” you said simply, shyness overcoming you once again

“Next Friday then, is it alright if I come pick you up? Say, around 7? We’ll have a real nice time, I’ll make sure, you deserve it doll,” Bucky was speaking so fast you couldn’t get a word in, but his charming nervousness was too cute

“Friday at seven,” you nodded, as he gave your hand one last squeeze before letting go of it

The whole week you were on edge, teetering between nerves and excitement at the prospect of your date, you were still so surprised at your luck that such a bad night could turn out so well, and that the handsome Bucky Barnes was so similar to you

Of course, in the back of your mind you knew he’d surely be shipping out soon, but all your girlfriends were dealing with that too, and you pushed the thought away, wanting to just enjoy the time you had

True to his word, Bucky knocked on your door right at 7, your father answering the door as you were still in your room finishing getting ready with your mother

You heard their voices down the hallway as Bucky introduced himself respectfully to your father; he really did seem like such a gentleman

Your mother put the finishing touches on your updo and sent you out to the living room to face your date

As you came into the room, your eyes went straight to Bucky, looking so dapper in his uniform - you loved that all the boys yet to ship out were required to wear their dress uniform while they were out, it was just so romantic

You saw a small bouquet of flowers in his hand and smiled shyly as you crossed over to him, taking the bouquet from his offering hands and thanking him kindly for the gesture

You went to hand the bouquet to your mother to put in a vase, but Bucky reached out and grabbed a single bloom first, tucking it into your pinned hair

“You look beautiful tonight,” he complimented you; you thought your mother might faint from excitement but you just looked down at your feet, a small smile gracing your face

“Thank you, Bucky, you’re very kind. Shall we?” you gestured towards the door and he led you towards it, his hand at the small of your back as your parents looked on

In contrast to his talkativeness from the previous week, Bucky was quiet at first as he walked you towards the main avenue, but it was a comfortable silence

“Oh!” he exclaimed suddenly, as though just then realizing where he was and what he was doing, “Jeez, look at me, said I’d take you on a proper date and I ain’t even held your hand,” he shook his head at himself and offered you his calloused hand, which you took gratefully

You found his sudden nervousness endearing, but it was soon gone as comfortable conversation began to flow; he asked about your week and didn’t seem to mind when you talked about your trip to the hair salon and the new dress your mother was having made for you, instead he was hanging on your every word like you were a new adventure book

To him, you truly were a new adventure, he’d talk about anything you wanted as long as he got to be with you

You talked with him about anything and everything as you made your way to your destination, him even joking to you about Steve’s rather unsuccessful attempt to defend your honor to Freddie, but you realized he never actually told you where you were going

“So,” you lilted at him, “where does a fella like you take a girl like me on a ‘proper date’ then?” you queried him, laughter in your voice because this was truly so fun, you’d be happy to just walk around talking all night

“Oh, I can’t tell ya just yet, sweetheart, it’s a surprise,” he winked at you and your knees went weak

Soon, though, you arrived at a cinema, not the same one as your disastrous date with Freddie thankfully

As Bucky walked you up to the ticket booth, you were excited to see what he’d choose

“Two tickets for the special showing, please,” he said to the boy in the booth as he handed over the dollar

Of course, he was expected to pay, but the way he was so confident in asking for the tickets and had the money ready made you feel like he was so glad to do it, honored, even

Bucky took the two tickets and steered you into the theater, but not before you saw the sign for the special event posted just at the door, they were projecting a special film about space onto the ceiling of the cinema - one of those planetarium experiences!

You couldn’t contain yourself, “Oh Bucky, wow! “A Journey through the Stars,” you read from the poster, “oh wow,” you repeated

“I hoped you’d like it,” Bucky said shyly, “let’s go on in, I want to get you a good seat”

The whole film, you were just enraptured by the narrator talking about cosmos and black holes, whole new solar systems

But Bucky was barely paying attention, his gaze drifting to your awed face

Sometimes you felt his eyes on you and you’d glance over, shy, but he’d look away just quick enough that you couldn’t be sure he was looking at you

As you walked out of the theater, he gently put his arm around you, and you reached up and grabbed his hand to keep it there; you felt so at home with him

“Bucky that was amazing, thank you!” you gushed as he led you down the street

“I’m real glad you liked it, doll,” he answered, “how about an ice cream?”

You were happy for the chance to extend the evening, not ready to leave his company

He took you to the same parlor you’d passed the previous week, even holding the door for you and helping you up onto a stool at the counter

“Oh, there are so many choices, I’m not even sure what I want,” you laughed, your eyes scanning the flavors on the blackboard on the wall

“Well, pick your top two, and I’ll get one and you get the other, and we can share!” he babbled, “I mean, if you want, that is…” he trailed off, but you just smiled

You picked classic vanilla, and cookies and cream to be adventurous, and he ordered for the both of you

You laughed and talked the rest of the evening, until finally the old man who ran the shop had to shoo you out so he could close

A little embarrassed at how you’d let the time get away from you, you hesitated on the sidewalk before Bucky offered you his arm again, and you took it, confidently this time

It being fairly late, he took you home via the streetcar this time, wanting to get you home at an appropriate hour so as to stay in your father’s good graces

It was still friday, though, no matter how late, so the car was rather crowded; he led you to the side of the car and grasped the bar running the length of the ceiling with one hand, wrapping your arms around his waist with his other hand so you didn’t have to reach up; once you were secured, he gently wrapped his free arm around your shoulders

Taking his lead, you rested your head in the crook of his neck as the car took you to your stop

The two of you were quiet, basking in the sweet comfort of each other; you kept thinking how right this all felt, and it seemed like something like hope had taken hold in your heart

The car lurched to a halt at your stop and Bucky’s arm tightened around you, keeping you steady, before he guided you onto the street and up the block to your building

You stood in the same place as a week ago, yet so much had changed; it was just one date, but there was a spark between you glowing bright

Slowly, Bucky took your hand, and you stepped closer to him as his thumb rubbed against your hand

“I guess it’s time to say goodnight then,” he spoke, regret coloring his tone

“I had a wonderful time, Bucky, thank you. First dates don’t seem so scary now,” you laughed, “thanks for doing this for me.”

“Happy to, but doll, I didn’t just take you out because of what happened. I just wanted to be with you, get to know you. I sure am glad we found you in that alley, I barely know you but...you’re changing my life, honey”

The adoration and conviction in his voice choked you up, no one had ever made you feel so seen, so wanted

“Oh Bucky, I feel it too, it’s so -” you shook your head, unsure how to vocalize the soaring feeling in your heart

“It feels like...coming home,” he whispered to you, his forehead leaning against yours in a lover’s confession

Instead of replying, you coasted on the wave of feeling that took over you, and kissed him softly, the taste of the ice cream still on his lips

Both your eyes fluttered shut as the simple kiss drove all other thought from your heads

He pulled away first, raising his hand to caress your cheek as he smiled softly, his eyes tearing away from your lips to meet your own sweet gaze

“So,” his kind cockiness returning, “next Friday?” he asked, his head tilting jauntily as he winked at you

“Next Friday,” you returned, your heart swelling

With a final kiss to your knuckles, he opened the door into your building for you, tipping his hat

You finally had a reason to be happy for Friday nights, a handsome fella to offer you his arm

And Bucky had a home to return to; no matter where the Army took him, he had the home you made for him in your heart

87 notes · View notes

combat-wombatus · 3 years

Text

Scavenger Hunt

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x fem!reader

Genre: fluff, a lil bit of crack :p

Warnings: uhh slight injury? nothing too serious

WC: 2.2k

Summary: Mina has planned a New Year’s party and a scavenger hunt to go with it. Thanks to her and the rest of your scheming friends, you get more than you bargained for…

(A/N): this was for my 20-21 new year’s event!! (again i’m revamping my blog lakdsjhfakfjh bear with me here)

14: “You’re so cute when you’re mad.” 24: “Would you mind if I kissed you?”

“What? A party? I’m not fucking going.” Bakugou snarled. “Staying up past midnight is overrated. I need my sleep.”

“But Bakubro,” Kaminari whined. “We’re hosting! Mina planned it all, and she spent a lot of time doing it! You should at least go. You don’t have to stay up that late.”

“Tch. As if I care.” Bakugou shoved his hands in his pockets and slumped forward even more. “Pinky can waste all the time she fucking wants to. I’m not going.”

“It’s our last year at UA! Come on,” Kirishima joined in. “You can leave early if you want to! It’ll be mostly in the dorms anyways. Mina did plan a scavenger hunt though, in Gym Gamma. She says that she planted “mementos” of our school experience. Isn’t that fun?”

“Fun my ass. It’s stupid, is what it is.” He glared at Kirishima. “Should’ve visited my parents. Even the old hag isn’t as loud as all of you extras in the dorms.”

“You say that like you didn’t blast a hole in the wall just last week,” Kaminari pointed out.

Kirishima winced. “Denki-”

“WELL WHOSE FUCKING IDEA WAS IT TO PRETEND THAT THEY WERE FUCKING KIDNAPPED?!?” Bakugou waved a fist wildly in Kaminari’s face.

“Fair point, fair point. You should’ve seen the look on your face though! (Y/N) thought you’d murder her!” Kaminari cackled.

“I’D NEVER FUCKING MURDER HER! ARE YOU INSANE??” Bakugou’s palms started crackling.

“Hey, chill bro, we know that.” Kirishima tried to calm him down.

Kaminari was not so lucky. “Why? You joke about murdering us all the time. What’s so different about her?”

Bakugou turned, a quick retort on the tip of his tongue, before he realized that Kaminari was, actually, right for once.

“She’s…she’s…” He stuttered.

Kaminari let out a hoot of laughter. “I knew it!”

“Shut the fuck up!” Bakugou’s face turned beet red. “You don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“Suit yourself. We know the truth.” Kaminari patted Bakugou’s shoulder.

“Oh yeah, Bakubro! (Y/L/N)-chan is going to be at the party too! Why don’t you confess to her there? That would be fun! And then Mina will forgive you for leaving early too!”

Bakugou’s left eye twitched. “There’s nothing to confess, Shitty Hair. And I don’t give a rat’s ass what Mina thinks.”

Kirishima and Kaminari looked at each other, then turned back to Bakugou.

“Sure,” Kirishima smirked. “Nothing at all.”

“Hey! (Y/N)!” Mina ran up to you. “You’re coming to the party, right?”

You turned to face her. “Sure am! Who isn’t? It’s in the dorms anyways so there’s not much of a point in not coming, right?”

Mina sighed. “Kiri and Kami are having a hard time convincing Bakugou to come. Something about his sleep schedule?”

You were a little disappointed, but it was to be expected. Bakugou didn’t participate much in team-building activities anyways. “Can’t relate. My sleep schedule has been fucked to high heaven.”

“Right? What a crappy excuse.” Mina rolled her eyes. “Anyways, Sero’s waiting for me in the gym to help set the scavenger hunt up. See ya later, yeah?”

“Sure! Do you want more help? I can help you guys set things up if you’d like,” you asked.

Mina leaned forward, smiling mischievously. “Nope! It’s all good! And besides, I want you to participate in the game, so you can’t help!”

You smiled. “Ah, okay. Well, I’ll see you later then!”

“See ya!” Mina winked and gave you a little wave.

“So, the rules of the game are simple: whichever team finds and touches our very own 3-A New Year’s Ball, together, wins!” Mina exclaimed from her place on the couch.

“What kind of shitty game is this?” Bakugou growled, leaning against the kitchen counter.

Mina pouted. “Hey! Sero and I spent a lot of time making this happen!”

“Yeah! They were amazing!” Ochaco jumped up too. “Stop being ungrateful!”

“Fine, whatever.” Bakugou crossed his arms. “Get on with it already. We don’t have all night.”

“Actually, we do! Not everyone here has the sleeping schedule of an old man,” Kaminari piped in.

“Shut up, Dunce Face. Nobody asked.” Bakugou scowled.

“Hey! Back to the regular program. You get to choose your own partners! Isn’t that exciting?” Mina waved her piece of paper around wildly. “Now get to it! You have three minutes!”

You looked around the room. You would’ve asked Mina, but she and Sero weren’t participating since they were the ones who hid it. They had also apparently hidden clues all over Gym Gamma as to where the location of the ball was.

“Ocha-” Oops. She’d already teamed up with Iida.

“Oi, Shitty Hair, come over here!” Bakugou yelled across the room. You sighed. Of course.

“Sorry Bakubro, I already have a partner…” Kirishima said rather sheepishly.

“…you WHAT?”

“Yeah…Momo here didn’t have a partner yet and…well…Mineta was hot on her trail,” Kirishima tried to explain as Momo breathed a sigh of relief.

“Shuckers!” Mineta faceplanted onto the couch. “I never get what I want”

“Hmph. Karma’s a bitch.” Jiro smirked from her position next to Kaminari.

“Dunce Face, you got a partner too?” Bakugou sighed, exasperated.

“Right next to me!” Kaminari pointed to Jiro with his thumb. You smiled in satisfaction. They were honestly adorable.

You turned to the rest of the room. Hagakure had already snagged Ojiro, Midoriya had, unsurprisingly, paired with Todoroki. Shoji and…Tsu? Koda had paired up with Sato, and…you snickered a little at the last pairing. Tokoyami had been bombarded with Aoyama’s relentless chatter. Which left…you and Bakugou.

Huh. That was weird. You swore that not everyone had a partner just a minute ago. And it was awfully strange that Tokoyami would choose to pair with Aoyama instead of you or even Bakugou, but…you supposed that he didn’t really have a choice in the matter.

“So. (Y/N).” Bakugou cleared his throat. “Partners?”

“Uh…yeah,” you replied, fidgeting slightly with your hands.

“Ok! Everyone is paired up and ready to go?” Mina was practically bouncing.

“Yeah!” Most everyone chimed in unison.

“Let’s do it then! Sero, come on! Lead the way!” She jumped down from her place on the kitchen counter.

“What the fuck? Pinky and Tape Arms hung that thing all the way up there?” Bakugou swore.

“You can use your quirk to get up there though, right?” You looked at him, brows furrowed.

“Duh. But what about you?” He looked you up and down. “Last time I checked, you couldn’t fly.”

“Easy! I’ll just ride on your back!” You chirped. “Unless you can’t carry me?”

“Tch. As if. Get on.” He squatted down, letting you scamper onto his back. “Ready?” You wrapped your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist.

You leaned into the crook of his neck, breath lightly fanning his face. “Ready,” you confirmed.

Cackling gleefully, Bakugou shot up into the sky, palms ablaze.

And as quickly as he flew, he was dropping to the ground even quicker.

“DAMMIT!” He glared daggers at the ice wall that had appeared over your heads. “Fucking Deku! And that IcyHot bastard!”

Spiraling, he tried his best to save the two of you from a hard impact on the ground, but he was only successful in twirling around in the air like a ballerina.

“Shit!” He tried to flip upside down in order to land on his feet, but the momentum was against him.

With an “oof”, the two of you landed in a pile on the (luckily) snow-covered ground.

“You alright there, idiot?” Bakugou said gruffly.

You groaned. You weren’t sure how, but you definitely sprained something with the way you landed. Ankle? Wrist? Perhaps both?

“Hey. Hey!” Bakugou climbed over the snowdrift to reach you. “Get up! The fuck is wrong with you?”

“Calm down, Bakugou!” You pushed his hand away. “It’s just a sprain,” you pointed to your ankle.

“Nothing else?” He seemed intent on picking you up, so you let him.

“Nope, everything’s fine,” you assured him.

“Sorry about that!” Midoriya called out from atop his perch on Todoroki’s newly-formed glacier. “We got a little carried away!”

Bakugou stilled. You winced. Midoriya was in for a rough time.

“Deku…” He ground out. “What the FUCK do you think you and IcyHot are doing?”

“I-I’m sorry! We didn’t mean to knock you down from the air!” Midoriya started gesturing nervously. “I-I swear it was an a-accident!”

Todoroki sighed. “It was an accident. Let it go, Bakugou. And (Y/N), we are very sorry for having injured you. Would you like for us to accompany you to Recovery Girl? The game is over now.”

“The fuck did you say, IcyHot? No fucking way. I’m taking her.” He stomped towards Recovery Girl’s office, you firmly nestled in his arms.

“Think we succeeded?” Todoroki turned to Midoriya. “They seem to be getting along fine.”

“I…I’m not sure. It’s not great that (Y/L/N)-chan had to get injured for this to work, but…Recovery Girl will fix her up fine and Kacchan might finally realize that he has feelings for her…”

“Hey guys! Great job!” Sero dangled Mina from a tree branch overhead. “Look at them go!”

“It’s all according to plan…” Mina clapped her hands together. “Now, we just have to wait for the clock to chime twelve…”

“Fucking assholes.” Bakugou hadn’t stopped muttering underneath his breath since you’d left.

You giggled. He was so angry over such a small thing. It wasn’t like the fall was intentional; you’d both just been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Bakugou stopped walking and stared at you. “What?” He frowned at you. “Why are you laughing? Did you knock your fucking head on the way down too?”

You started full-on laughing this time. “No, Bakugou. It’s just…you’re so cute when you’re mad,” you tried to explain. “Your eyebrows scrunch up and you purse your lips and…”

By this point, Bakugou was a blushing mess. No one had ever called him “cute” when he was angry before.

After a while, he broke the silence. “So…I don’t scare you?”

You laid your head on his chest. “Not at all.”

“Tch. You should be scared of me, dumbass.” He turned your body so that you were facing him, shielding his tomato-hued face from your gaze.

“And why should I be?”

“Because…because…I’m Bakugou Katsuki, dammit!” He clenched his fists, bunching up your parka.

Snickering, you decided to tease him. “Thank you, Captain Obvious. I thought you were Midoriya Izuku for a second.”

“You WHAT?!?”

The two of you bantered playfully all the way to Recovery Girl’s office. She took one look at you and frowned.

“Tsk. I thought there wasn’t training today?” She rifled around for an ice pack.

“There wasn’t. We played a game and I just sprained my ankle.” You explained sheepishly. “And possibly my wrist.”

Recovery Girl tapped her cane on your knee and sighed heavily. “You guys don’t know how to take care of yourselves! Playing a game and getting injured?” She rubbed her temples. “The hospitals are going to have a field day with the lot of you once you become pros.”

“Sorry. I promise I’ll be more careful next time.” You held in a wince as she prodded your ankle.

“Minor sprains. I’m going to wrap those and give you some gummies. Take this ice pack with you when you go. Ice for 10, leave for 20, and repeat for 3 hours. Got it?”

“Yes ma’am!” You held out your wrist for her to bind.

“And don’t you go do anything else dangerous now, you hear me?”

“Loud and clear!” You hopped nimbly off the table, landing on one leg, and was promptly scooped up again by Bakugou.

“Hey! Let me down! I can walk!” You protested against his arms.

Bakugou turned to Recovery Girl. “Look at her. You really want her to walk?”

“As a matter of fact, I do not. Stay still, young lady, and let him carry you,” she admonished.

You slumped in defeat, and Bakugou carried you out of the room.

“Ahh…young love,” Recovery Girl stared wistfully at your fading silhouettes. “I remember…”

“3!”

“2!”

“1!!”

“HAPPY NEW YEAR’S!!”

The class was situated in the common room, spread out over the numerous couches and munching on fresh cookies (courtesy of Momo and Sato).

And as the clock chimed 12, you looked to Bakugou, sitting right next to you.

“Can…can I…” You started nervously, fingers fidgeting with your ice pack.

“What? Spit it out,” Bakugou stared at you.

“Canikissyou?” You blurted out as fast as your tongue would let you.

He smirked. “What was that? I couldn’t understand you.”

You sighed. “Would…would you mind if I kissed you?”

Bakugou’s lips pulled into a wolfish grin. “All you had to do was ask, dumbass.”

Epilogue

“Do you think they caught on?” Mina whispered excitedly to Sero. “I wasn’t sure if they saw me leading Todoroki and Midoriya to the ball.”

“Nah, I think we’re fine. Besides, it’s not like he can complain. He got a girlfriend thanks to us, right?” Sero chuckled.

“Ok…if you say so…”

Suddenly, they heard a growl coming from the doorway to their left.

“Shit.”

“Run!!”

“I won’t let you bastards get away with this!!”

Coco’s New Year Celebration 20-21

Masterlist

126 notes · View notes

theladyofdeath · 4 years

Text

The Ranch {1}

An A Court of Thorns and Roses, Nesta x Cassian, Modern AU, fanfiction.

Collaboration: @throne-of-ashes-and-beauty x @tacmc

Summary: Nesta had spent years in Paris, living her dream and drowning in riches as a gourmet chef, capturing the hearts of the city and its people. But, after her father passes away unexpectedly and leaves his cozy, countryside B&B to his oldest daughter, Nesta is moving back home to the tiny town of Velaris, where the ranch, her sisters, and her father’s unfulfilled dream, awaits.

Sidenote: Being posted between two blogs, it is too chaotic to keep up with a tags list, so all chapters will be tagged with “#TheRanchNessian” & “#SharaCollab”.

A/N: Shelby and I have been writing this for MONTHS and we are so excited to start sharing it with you all! As always, let us know what you think, and enjoy. :) We will be going back & forth posting chapters, so look for chapter 2 on her blog!

The Ranch Masterlist

Nesta knew absolutely nothing about ranching.

Even worse, she felt absolutely nothing as she got out of her little red car and stepped onto the dirt path that led to the house.

She had grown up on this ranch, had run around and had adventures with her sisters in these pastures. Yet, as she took in everything she had inherited, she felt nothing.

She hadn’t been to the ranch in years, not since her mother died when she was eighteen. Now, almost a decade later, it was all foreign. It used to look so lively and magical during her childhood, but now it was nothing more than an old, big house built upon a huge chunk of land full of cattle.

Nesta hated cows. They smelled horrible.

She started walking up the path to her childhood home, when she saw the faded, peeling sign in the yard.

Belles & Blossoms Bed and Breakfast

The restraint Nesta used not to roll her eyes was only thanks to the fact that she was well-rested from her stay in Velaris’ newest hotel, the Manor House. The five-star hotel was supposed to be a hotel and spa, but it was more of a resort than anything. After her flight had landed, she had treated herself to a nice dinner and a massage and facial. The stress of knowing she had to come here had been wreaking havoc on her nerves and the special treatment was exactly what she needed.

But now that she was here, now that she was standing in front of the place she’d fought so hard to get out of, she wanted to turn around and check back into her room. Instead, she walked up the stairs, swiped the key from the underside of the rocking chair - where it had always been - and let herself into the house.

The first thing she noticed was the heat. There was a definite breeze coming from the vents, but the air was by no means cool. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, hoping this was not going to be an indication of how this all would go.

It looked exactly like she remembered, not a single thing having changed. The leather furniture was still prominently featured in every room, the rodeo memorabilia hanging on every wall. She sighed as she walked into the kitchen and to the sink, gazing out the window. She could see the house her father had built on the property a few years back. It had stayed mostly empty, as her father had opted to still live in the old farmhouse.

She would not though, she would move into the modern house on the back of the property, close enough to still be there for her guests, but far enough that she could have privacy if it was ever needed.

Nesta didn’t anticipate it would though.

Her own sisters didn’t even know she was back in town. It had been years since she’d spoken to Feyre and Elain and her texted occasionally, but Nesta knew nothing of their personal lives and they knew none of hers.

Nesta hadn’t even come to her own father’s funeral.

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to. But she couldn’t.

Quickly, she made her way through the rest of the house, cataloging what she saw in her head and already thinking about what changes she would make. When she got to her old bedroom, she paused, lingering in the doorway as she took in how it was the only room in the house that didn’t match the style of the rest.

No, Nesta had never cared for the rodeo lifestyle her father grew up in. Her sisters tolerated it, but just like her mother, Nesta couldn’t stand it.

The walls were still the deep grey she’d painted them, covering up the awful wallpaper featuring ropes and steers. The furniture was elegant and simply stated, dark wood with sleek lines.

There were no blinds on the windows, leaving the view down to the river uninhibited.

Nesta smiled, feeling a bit of pride as she took in how good her room looked in comparison to the rest of the house. She also let out a breath of relief as she realized it was one less room she’d have to redecorate.

She would do the rest later. Being back was beginning to take its toll. Nesta hurried back out the front door and hopped in her car, driving it further down the old dirt road. Nesta used to love the scenery. There were trees scattered across the landscape, trees that Nesta used to sit underneath in the spring and summer and read her books. Her father used to ask her to help out around the ranch, but Nesta was never interested in ranching. Her sisters helped him, always, and that seemed to be good enough for him.

Nesta pulled up to the little house her father had built and turned off her car. For a moment, she just sat in the quiet, staring at the little house.

It was cute, even on the outside. There was a little porch with one old rocking chair. The door had been painted red, and Nesta smiled, remembering it was her mother’s favorite color.

Once she got out, she opened the trunk and pulled out her bags. Much like the main house, the key was underneath the rocking chair. She let herself in and froze.

It was practically empty.

Her father really hadn’t spent much time in there. But why would he? He loved the main house, loved interacting with the guests that would stay there once he turned it into a bed and breakfast.

Besides, it was the home they had lived in as a family. As much as Nesta wanted to get away from the ranch, her father had always taken pride in his family.

Nesta included.

Which was why he left the ranch for his firstborn, she assumed.

Nesta walked through the empty living room and into the back bedroom, where a simple, bare, full-sized bed sat opposite of a wooden dresser. Other than that, a mirror hung on the wall as the single piece of decor.

Nesta tossed her bags on the mattress before finding her way into the bathroom. There was a shower with no curtain, a sink with no soap, and a toilet with no toilet paper.

At least the place was decently clean.

After rummaging through her bag and changing into jean shorts and a t-shirt, Nesta found herself in the kitchen, finding it - shockingly - empty before making a serious mental note to go to the store before the day was over. Sheets, soap, shower curtain, shampoo, food…

She needed it all.

Before she could feel even more overwhelmed, she found herself on the front porch and breathed in the fresh air. It was then that she noticed the little log cabin sitting on the other side of the dirt road.

There had been a ranch hand, hired by her father, when Nesta was little that used to live in that cabin. She couldn’t remember his name, but she remembered his smile. He was a kind, older man who had passed away before Nesta turned ten.

Promising she’d revamp the little log cabin after taking on the main house, she slipped on her tennis shoes and walked back up the dirt road.

She could hear the cows in the distant field and supposed she would have to hire a new ranch hand if she were to keep the ranch going. She sure as hell didn’t know what to do.

Jogging up the stairs, Nesta let herself back in and paused in the entryway, trying to decide what her plan of attack should be. She could clean first, but then when she decided what should stay or go, she’ll just discover more dirt and dust. Or she could start a throwaway pile, but that would definitely stir up the dust.

Nesta groaned and dropped her head in her hands. When she’d first gotten the phone call from her father’s lawyer, letting her know that he’d left the B&B to her, she didn’t even want it. She started looking into what she needed to do and how much she could sell it for, house, land, and business. It had been a decade since she left and she hadn’t looked back once. Why would she now?

She’d found early success in the culinary arts. She studied in Miami, New York, Paris, Rome. She traveled the world. Her father couldn’t really expect her to give all that up, to give up her life, to come back to the town she grew up in, and run the bed and breakfast he started after she got out.

But he did. He trusted her with his dream and with his ranch.

And so she found herself back in Velaris, in the middle of summer, in a house with limited air conditioning, scrubbing the antique baseboards on her hands and knees. After she’d completed the living room, the molding a wholly different color than when she started, she stood and wiped the sweat from her forehead. She fanned herself and looked at her watch.

Only 10:45 in the morning and it was already pushing 85° outside. Nesta quickly realized she’d need to get someone out to work on the air conditioning unit as quickly as possible, and went to the kitchen to grab a bottled water from the fridge.

As she walked through the house, she quickly opened up her browser and looked up a number for a local company that could hopefully get to her quickly. She found one that could work on HVAC and plumbing, and decided to have a once overdone on the entire house. She selected the number and hit send, putting the phone to her ear and opening the fridge.

Nesta hung up the phone, slammed the fridge shut and gagged all in the same second.

Apparently, in the past four weeks, the fridge had gone out. Everything inside had gone bad and though she was used to working in a kitchen, she had never smelled anything so foul in her life.

Nesta has already planned on replacing the fridge, and every other appliance, in the outdated kitchen, so she wasn’t too upset. Just frustrated that would have to be handled so soon. She put the phone down on the counter and tied her hair back in a ponytail.

Air conditioner would have to wait. This fridge had to go.

She sized the thing up, eyeing it from top to bottom. Maybe there was a dolly out in the shed she could use to push it out the back door. It was smaller than an average refrigerator, after all. What could go wrong?

She reached back behind it to make sure everything was unplugged. Then, she slowly took everything out one by one, tossing it a giant black garbage bag she had found in the cabinet.

Nesta was so focused on what she was doing, she didn’t hear the back door open and shut.

“There’s a six pack in there. Hopefully you didn’t throw that out, too.”

Nesta jumped, nearly hitting her head on the open freezer door. “Fuck!” She turned around, and froze. “Who the hell are you?”

He stood there, hair loose around his shoulders, sweat gleaming across his bare, inked chest. He had on filthy boots, covered in the gods knew what, as he stepped into the kitchen.

“I’m wondering the same thing.” The man leaned his hip against the counter that ended at the back door. “Can I help you with something?”

Nesta just blinked, staring at the man, trying to decide if her day could get any more strange. “You can help by getting the hell out before I call the police.” She grabbed her phone, hoping that he knew she was serious. “Have you ever heard of knocking? Trespassing? Or do you always just let yourself into random womens’ back doors?”

The man didn’t try to hide his gaze as he let it drag down her body and settled it on her ass. “Hmm.” He crossed his arms and focused his attention back on her face. “Usually, I like to have dinner with a woman before I ask her to let me in her back door, but I guess if you want to be so direct about it.”

Nesta’s mouth dropped open and she unlocked her phone, giving it her attention. “I’m calling the police.”

“Good,” the man said, pulling a kitchen chair out from the table and sitting down. “I can’t wait for them to get here and arrest your ass.”

Her finger froze where it hovered over the green button. “Me? Arrest me?” She started to laugh.

“Sweetheart, I don’t know what you think is so funny, but I’ve been here every single day for the last eight years, I’ve never seen you in this house once.” He leaned forward and braced his elbows on his knees. “Now, I’ll ask one more time. Can I help you with something?”

Every single day for the last eight years.

“My name is Nesta,” she said, standing a little straighter. “I’m Isaac Archeron’s daughter.”

The man only stared at her, blinking every couple of seconds. “I’m sorry, you said that you were Nesta?”

She nodded.

“You’re kidding me,” he chuckled, standing up. “He left it to you? Really?”

Her eyes narrowed. “Why is that so surprising?”

“Because I’ve met Isaac’s daughters. You know, the ones that have been in his life in the last decade.” He walked toward her and reached past her shoulder to one of the beers that sat in the door of the fridge. He popped it open and took a long, slow drink before saying, “You weren’t one of them.”

He didn’t move from where he stood less than a foot in front of her. He was massive, but Nesta didn’t cower from his size, although it took everything in her to look up and meet his humored gaze instead of staring straight ahead at his chest.

“Now that you know who I am, I suggest you tell me who you are,” was all she said, not giving him the satisfaction of a response to his jab.

He grinned, taking another drink before introducing himself. “Cassian. I’ve worked for your dad for-.”

“Eight years, yeah, I got that,” Nesta interrupted. “You take care of the herd?”

He nodded. “And nearly everything else. Used to work alongside Isaac, but did everything pretty much myself once he took a turn for the worse.”

Took a turn for the worse.

Nesta tried to pretend like the words hadn’t punched her in the gut.

“I see. And do you live here?” Nesta asked, gesturing to the house around them. “If so, you’ve done a shitty job keeping the place up.”

“No,” he said, finally turning his back to her to resume his spot in his chair. “I live in the old log cabin. This house has been neglected for the most part since your dad took-“

“A turn for the worse?” Nesta finished for him. “Yeah, got it.”

“Do you like to finish people’s sentences?” He asked, brow raised. “I’m sensing a theme.”

Nesta ignored him, closing her eyes and sighing. “I’m not sure what my father was paying you but-.”

“He wasn’t,” Cassian interrupted, taking a page from her own book and cutting her off. He finished what was left of the warm beer and threw it across the kitchen into the trash can. It went in with precise accuracy. “What I mean is, he hasn’t been. We came to an agreement at the end of my third summer here, when money was getting tighter. He knew he couldn’t run this place without a ranch hand, but he couldn’t afford to pay me. So he gave me the cabin, signed it over to me. Deed is in my name,” he said, seeing the look on Nesta’s face. “All of my utilities are covered by the B&B. I don’t pay a dime for that house. In return, I do whatever needs to be done on these twenty acres.”

Nesta stared at him, trying to decide if the man - Cassian, he’d said - was trying to deceive her or if he was being genuine. She may not know him, but when it came down to it, she knew her father, and she knew that letting him live for free on their family land is exactly something he would do. “How do you make money then? How do you afford to eat and buy clothes and other necessities?”

“I have other ways to make money, don’t worry about that,” he said, standing and brushing dried mud off of his jeans. He didn’t give her much more time to ask questions as he stood and headed for the door. “I’ll come by and fix the AC later on this afternoon. I have to go into town for feed so I’ll pick up the part I need then.” He was out the back door and his heavy boots were clomping down the wooden stairs.

Nesta ran after him, flinging the door open. “You knew the air conditioning was out? Why haven’t you fixed it already?”

Cassian turned around and looked at her. “I just told you that I don’t technically get paid for the work that I do. My boss, your father, was the one who paid the bills here. It’s been over four weeks since the electric bill was paid and I was trying to keep this place up and running as long as I could with what little money I had saved.” As he passed through the gate that led out to the pasture and the horse stalls, he grabbed a sweat-soaked t-shirt that was draped over the fence and tossed it over his shoulder. He continued to walk backward as he finished explaining himself. “I knew we weren’t going to have many guests in the B&B any time soon and decided that feeding the living creatures that live here was more important than cooling the empty house.”

Nesta watched him walk away. Once he disappeared into the shed, she turned around and went back inside.

Every ounce of anger and frustration had left her. Suddenly, she was feeling empty. Cassian had spent the last eight years with her father, her sisters, working this land and making a home here.

She shook the thoughts away as she tossed the rest of his warm beer cans into her garbage bag.

_____________________________

Nesta had decided to commit the rest of her day to making the little house she now occupied feel a little more homey. She’d gone to the store to pick up a few decor items and some food, along with sheets and a shower curtain.

However, when she pulled back into the driveway, a silver truck was pulled up in front of the main house.

Elain was sitting in a rocking chair on the front porch.

Nesta couldn’t help but smile as she got out. She hadn’t even reached the steps before Elain was running into her arms.

“You didn’t tell me you were coming!” She said, holding her older sister tight. “Cassian texted me.”

“Ah, the rude cow wrangler,” Nesta muttered. “Joy.”

“He’s great,” Elain said, smile fading.

Nesta cleared her throat. “Sorry I didn't let you know I was coming. It…all happened so fast.”

Elain shook her head. “I’m just glad you’re here. Gods, I missed you.”

There was a time when she and Elain had been really close. Leaving her was much harder than leaving Feyre and Isaac. But, Elain was destined to stay in Velaris forever, and Nesta didn’t want that.

Yet, she managed to end up in the damn town, anyway.

Elain got in the passenger seat of Nesta’s car and they headed down to the new house. Nesta began pulling the bags out of her back seat and Elain, helping her carry them up the porch stairs, asked what all she’d bought.

“Everything,” Nesta laughed, pausing to unlock the door, but finding it already open. “Dad didn’t have anything in here, so I figured I’d at least-.”

Nesta froze as she stepped through the threshold, the bags falling to the floor. There was something that sounded far too similar to glass breaking for Elain’s liking, but Nesta didn’t seem to notice as she breathed, “Where did all of this come from?”

Where there had only been open space earlier, there was now furniture. A couch and entertainment center took up the living room area, and a small breakfast nook now sat in the corner by the kitchen.

“It was mine before I moved in with Azriel,” Elain said, an amused lilt to her voice. “Why do you think I’m in his truck?”

“Elain, I can’t- this is-.” She stopped and swallowed hard, turning to look at her sister. “Thank you.”

Elain just smiled. “It was in storage. I’d rather you be using it than gathering dust in our garage.”

Nesta nodded, slowly, unsure of what to say. “So… Still with Azriel, huh? Moved in together?”

“Yeah, I think he’s going to propose soon,” Elain said, brown eyes lighting up with pure adoration. “I can’t wait.”

“That’s great,” Nesta said, and she meant it, although it didn’t sound like it. She was still in shock. Overwhelmed. She was so incredibly overwhelmed.

“I told Feyre you’re here,” Elain said, sitting on the couch in the little living room. “She said she’ll try to stop by soon.”

Nesta knew it was a lie, but she forced herself to smile. “Great.”

Her and Feyre hadn’t talked since she left. Nesta was eighteen. Feyre was only fifteen, and she refused to understand how Nesta could just take off after they’d just lost their mother.

And Nesta had never attempted to explain her reasoning to her youngest sister.

To anyone.

“So,” Elain began, once the silence became too much. “What plans do you have for this place? Dad, obviously, thought you could bring it back to life. You’ve always had an eye for such things.”

Nesta snorted. “We both know that’s not true. Dad only left this place to me because I’m the oldest. And why don’t you ask me the question you really want to ask?”

Elain attempted to look confused, but failed.

“Don’t bullshit me,” Nesta chuckled. “And don’t worry. No, I’m not selling it. I thought about it. But…” Nesta shrugged. “Dad trusted me enough, for some damn reason, to leave it to me. And we grew up here. I know you all think I’m a heartless bitch, but I’m not that heartless.”

“We don’t think you’re a heartless bitch…” Elain trailed off.

“Just a bitch?” Nesta laughed, sitting next to her and propping her feet up on the small coffee table.

“Shut up,” Elain said, bumping her with her shoulder. Nesta gently shoved her back and Elain laughed, resting her head on her sister’s shoulder. Nesta leaned her own head atop her sister’s. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too, Lainy.” Nesta smiled. Using the old childhood nickname Elain had hated felt too easy and when she heard her sister groan, she knew she’d hit her mark.

Elain stood. “I should go. I told Az I was running the stuff over here and then I’d be back home. That was almost two hours ago.”

“You did this all by yourself?” Nesta was shocked looking at the furniture around her. It was nice, a good, sturdy quality. It wasn’t cheap by any means, and thanks to that, it didn’t seem light. Nesta imagined her gentle sweet sister trying to get the couch she currently sat on through the door by herself.

Elain laughed and said, “Cauldron, no! I can barely lift the coffee table by myself. Cassian helped me.”

“Cassian?” Nesta lifted a brow.

“Yeah, the rude cow wrangler, remember?”

Nesta scoffed. “No, I know his name, it’s just…” That was nice of him. Was his shirt still off? “Why didn’t Azriel come to help?”

“He’s at work. Just started a new job in town at the dealership. Mechanic. Works on the tractors and whatnot.”

Nesta didn’t know much about Azriel, only what Elain had told her of him. Although, if she remembered right, they all went to the same high school.

She didn’t care, though. All she cared about is that this Azriel treated her sweet Elain the way she deserved to be treated, and judging by the light in her eyes when she spoke of him, she knew that he was.

“He said you two got off to kind of a rough start,” Elain said, stopping just in front of the front door.

“Azriel?” Nesta asked, genuinely confused.

Elain giggled. “No, Cassian. He really is a good guy, okay? Give him the benefit of the doubt, I know you don’t trust people easily. But dad trusted him with everything and he’s been around for a while. He’s the best ranch hand you’re going to get for this place. He loves it like it's his own.”

Nesta just huffed.

“Anyway,” Elain went on, showing herself out. “How about we all get together for dinner tomorrow night? We can go anywhere, your choice.”

“Who is all?”

Elain shrugged. “Me and Azriel? I’ll see if Feyre wants to come. Maybe even ask Cassian-.”

“I don’t think-.”

“I’m glad you’re back,” Elain said, smile bright, cutting off her sister’s protests.

With that, Nesta watched as her sister walked back up the dirt road toward the main house.

Huffing out a breath, Nesta turned and looked at her new home. It wasn’t much, just a bedroom and a couch and a bathroom, but it was home. She’d make it hers.

Just like the main house and just like the bed and breakfast. She’d make them something she could be proud of.

And so, as the sun went down, Nesta got to work.

#TheRanchNessian #SharaCollab #nessian #fanfic #fanfiction #modern au #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf #nesta #cassian

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solari-writes-things · 4 years

Text

Bombshell

!! revamped !!

Solari Says: I am slowly picking at remastering the old prompts from my previous blog, since the remainder of my requests are mostly smut and that just isn’t the way to go right now. OC is my own.

Imagine: OC telling Happy she’s pregnant.

Happy Lowman x OC

WARNINGS: Language

translations below

gif isn’t mine, credited below!

REQUESTS CLOSED

Yvonne could feel her stomach turning as she remained seated in the bathroom of Diosa Norte, refraining from doing anything that could push her further into the panic that was beginning to boil up in the pit of her stomach. The last few weeks had remained chaotic for SAMCRO, and they were showing no signs of slowing down.

So learning this newfound information, presented to her by the double lines painted on the small window of the pregnancy test, was something that sent her mind into spirals.

It wasn’t that she was afraid of bringing up a child in this sort of situation. It was more of the uncertainty she felt on her own accord. She wasn’t sure if she would be a viable mother, or if Happy had even taken any interest in having a kid.

She lets out a shaky breath, beginning the process of properly cleaning up after herself. Once she does, she spins the toilet paper roll around the test carefully so she could throw it away. Standing and flushing the toilet, she tosses the pregnancy test in the trash sitting in the corner of the room before washing her hands.

She looked at herself in the mirror while doing so, checking her features to make sure she didn’t look disheveled before heading back out to her job. She exhales once more, so her breathing could even out. She feels her erratic heart rate begin to slow, taking that as the sign to turn off the water and dry her hands off.

She looks down at herself, fixing the red form-fitting dress that she donned. She gives herself a quick once over once the immediate signs of negativity were smoothed out, nodding to herself before opening the restroom door and joining the rest of the girls out on the main floor.

She puts on her best grin, greeting a gentleman who had pushed inside of the building and handed him a drink menu so he wouldn’t have to traverse to the bar that was partially full. She doesn’t take notice to her uncle Nero, who had walked up to join her for a moment before he had to go finish more paperwork.

“¿Todo bien, mija?” he asked her, which causes her to startle and spin around quickly.

When she realized it was just him, she pressed a hand over her chest to ensure that her heart wouldn’t jump out. “Después de experimentar insuficiencia cardíaca.”

Nero smiles at that notion, holding up both of his hands. “Lo siento. But really. Is everything alright with you?”

Von dropped her hand once she felt her heart rate even. “That’s a debatable question, Nero. What’s up?”

“Cause you been ojos saltones since you came from your trip from the baño,” he told her, his tone simple. “You know you can talk to me about shit, right?”

Von purses her lips and averts her eyes for a split second, before connecting once more to Nero. “I... could run something by you really quick.”

Nero nods his head and curls his forearm up so his hand was in front of him. He waves his fingers to gesture Yvonne to follow him, and when she joined him at his side he slung an arm around her shoulders.

Immediately, Yvonne could feel the familial comfort creep through her system as they stepped through the crowded room and into the empty Diosa Norte kitchen. She felt a twinge of sadness when he dropped his arm, in much need of that sort of comfort at the moment. He spun himself around so he was looking at her, leaning back against a stable surface and crossing his arms over his chest. “What’s on your mind?”

“I’m pregnant,” she immediately spilled, now that she was out of earshot of anyone else who had been on staff.

Nero seemed to shake his head a bit in shock, blinking his eyes at her. “Wait, wait, wait. ¿Embarazada? That was definitely something I wasn’t expecting to hear out of you.”

Von let out a nervous chuckle, folding her arms over her chest as she felt herself grow a bit smaller the longer the word sat in the air between them. “Yeah... It wasn’t something I expected out of myself, really.”

“Does Happy know?” he questioned. “Or was that the trip you made in the bathroom?”

“That was the trip,” Yvonne stated, one of her arms coming up and touching the spade tattoo that sat at the side of her neck. “I have no fucking clue how to tell him, tío. I don’t even think he wanted to have a kid in the first place.”

“Have you had that conversation with him?” Nero inquired, hands still folded over his chest.

Von doesn’t entertain with a verbal answer, just a quick shake of her head.

“Then that’s something you two have to figure out, no? Talk it over, mija, Happy’s not nonsensical,” he says, giving her an assuring smile.

That sort of comment held a lot of merit to Yvonne. Considering her upbringing, and Nero’s talent of seeing people for who they really were, she held his opinion highly. So when he seemed so relaxed about something that seemed so grave to her, it caused her to calm just a bit. She nods her head, turning her head to the entrance of the hall that led to the kitchen when she heard the boys sounding off in the distance.

SAMCRO had stepped into the building. Happy had to be with them, considering she was on shift today.

She turns to Nero once more, offering him a nervous but kind smile. “Thanks, Uncle. I’ll let you know what happens, okay?”

Nero observes her expression once again, trying to ensure that she was okay without pressing too much further. He nods his head after a couple seconds of silence, pushing himself straight before moving out of the kitchen to go grab Happy.

She could hear Nero speak, telling Happy that she was sitting in the kitchen. No details, just the basics.

She had been hoping she would remain calm when Hap had turned the corner, but her heart had other plans. It practically leaped out of her chest when he turned the corner, giving her a half smile as he approached.

“Hey, babe,” he greeted simply, placing a gentle hand at her waist and connecting a kiss to her forehead.

She smiles a bit at the intimacy, chuckling. “You guys alright?”

“No one shot or blown up today. New record,” he stated simply, causing her to roll her eyes.

After the couple seconds of lighthearted joking, she licks her lips a bit to mentally prep herself for the conversation she was about to have with him. “Hey.. can we talk really quick?”

“Yeah,” he says, looking down at her. “Everythin’ okay?”

She nods her head, averting her eyes down after a couple seconds of holding his stare. “I... I’m fuckin’ pregnant, Happy.”

She could only grow more nervous as she read his eyes. His expression never moved physically, but he was sorting out his own head. She could read it easily. After all, she was one of the few who could really understand Happy, and that was one of the reasons he got together with her.

One second turned into four, the growing anxiety boiling up within her the longer he sat in silence. When he opened his mouth to speak, she could feel herself almost lurch forward to hear what he would say.

“So what are we going to do?” he asked simply, eyeing her with a serious expression. “We have to consider our options here, Von.”

Von nodded her head in response, immediately agreeing with what he had to say. He was right, they had to consider every possible option. Bringing up a child with a life such as theirs would be strange. Granted, the adjustment could be made. But they both had to express comfort toward that very idea.

“Do you want this kid in your life, Hap?” she asked seriously. “We never fucking talked about having a kid, Hap. So whatever you decide, we can talk about.”

“I don’t mind raisin’ a kid, Von. It’s up to you on what you want to do. You’re the one carryin’,” he says.

“I know I am, but... I need to make sure you agree with whatever fucking choice I make here, Happy. I can’t be the one to make the ultimate decision, not unless I know you have my back.”

He reaches his tattooed arms up, clasping her face in between the palms of his hands and made her look up at him. His eyes bore into hers, so she could understand the gravity of the words he spoke.

“Yvonne, I will support you in whatever fuckin’ choice you make. I am okay with raising a kid, if you decide to keep it. If you decide you want to, I will talk that choice with you. Whatever you do, I am here. As I’ve always been.”

The words seem to sink in slowly, and Yvonne closed her eyes as she relaxed into his palms. She reached her hand up, grazing her fingertips gently across the skin of his hand, before inhaling slowly to calm herself. She almost felt stupid for panicking as much as she had. Of course, Happy would support her in her choices. He always had, and she was sure he always would.

Especially for times such as these.

So she opens her eyes, connecting her eyes with his once more. His stern expression never changed, as he waited patiently for her answer. He was always so patient with her, and she was thankful for it.

“I think we should keep the baby, Happy. We can make the adjustments as needed. I know we can do this, because no matter what’s thrown at us, we always make it through in one piece,” she says, her tone much more confident than it had been before.

His expression finally moves, a small half-smile pulling at the corner of his mouth once she realizes she’s regained her confidence. “You’re damn right. It ain’t changin’ now.”

Translations:

Todo bien - Everything okay?

Después de experimentar insuficiencia cardíaca - after I experience heart failure

Lo siento - Sorry

ojos saltones - Big eyes, bug-eyed, doe-eyed

baño - bathroom

¿Embarazada? - Pregnant?

tío - uncle

#happy lowman #happy lowman x oc #soa #sons of anarchy #samcro #solari writes things

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sammysdewysensitiveeyes · 4 years

Note

Ranking Brotherhood of Evil Mutant members (including all interations) from your, most to least favorite and please expound why. I do like asking for opinions.

Hmmm....there have been several iterations of the Brotherhood, and I’m not very familiar with some of the later versions, so I’m just gonna go with the earlier versions that I know. Bear in mind, this is entirely subjective, and I like most of these characters, so a character being lower down doesn’t mean I hate them. Going from favorite to least favorite:

Pyro:

Anyone following this blog has probably noticed I love this dude. I’m not exactly subtle about it. I think he’s interesting and fun, as villains go. He’s snarky and cocky, and actually rather friendly when he’s not trying to kill you - very Affable Evil. He’s not necessarily a very good person - he’s self-interested, and can be rather vicious, but he’s a character that I thought could potentially come over to the good side. He seemed, at times, to get into the whole “Freedom Force” thing, and clearly enjoyed saving people alongside Longshot. He seems to bond a great deal with his team-mates - Mystique, Avalanche, even Stonewall (although he was a dick to him and Commando when they first joined). He even pals around with Blob, even though he also snarks at him sometimes. In AOA, Pyro was the only one helping and being protective of Phantazia. And now in Marauders he refers to them as his “friends,” and is perfectly happy traveling around with people that used to kick his ass, even appearing impressed with them (especially Storm), and being a surprisingly good team player. I don’t think Pyro would necessarily become a good guy for altruistic purposes, but I think he enjoys having “adventures” and getting attention and hanging out with his team-mates. I think if Pyro was on an X-Team, and was made to feel welcome, he’d probably be content to fight alongside them and follow the rules (which is basically what he’s doing right now with the Marauders), and maybe some of his team-mates’ virtues would rub off on him a bit. (There was apparently a version of X-Factor pitched to Marvel years ago that included Pyro on the team, and I’m disappointed that never happened, although I loved the X-Factor that we got.) And of course, there was also Pyro’s somewhat redemptive death, where he came to regret his past actions with the Brotherhood and wound up sacrificing his life to save Senator Kelly (fat lot of good it did, since Kelly got assassinated shortly after, but hey, he tried!)

Along with all of that, I am also really intrigued by Pyro’s back story of being a romance author and journalist. There’s the whole dichotomy of a guy who callously burns people to death and also writes gothic romance novels in his spare time. And honestly, it sounds like he’s lived a really interesting life before the Brotherhood - traveling all around South East Asia, working as a journalist covering Indonesia and Vietnam (I’d assume he speaks at least a little bit of Indonesian and Vietnamese to be able to live there and cover news). His motives for joining the Brotherhood have never been established, and I’m dying to know more about how he met Mystique, and why he decided to leave what was apparently a successful career and probably fairly comfortable life to go be an international terrorist. Was it money? A promise of adventure? Did he really believe in Magneto’s cause? Was he already getting into criminal activity before he joined the Brotherhood? There’s a lot of potential for development there, but unfortunately most writers (except Claremont) tend to completely ignore all of Pyro’s backstory. I’m still hoping that Duggan at least makes some reference to it, even just a throwaway comment about how Pyro used to write novels.

TL,DR: I like Pyro because he’s fun and clever, he makes friends with his team-mates, and he’s a writer.

Toad:

Toad is a really intriguing character, but mostly I like him because he’s actually got a lot of potential, but he’s had a shit life and can never seem to catch a break. In the earliest issues, he was just Magneto’s abused lackey, and appeared quite sniveling and pathetic, but later on it was revealed that he’s actually quite intelligent (and good with machines), he just appeared “stupid” due to all the abuse he suffered during childhood. Toad also has a lot of interesting powers - writers seem to give him a new one every other appearance. His stamina, agility, and super-strong legs could actually make him a pretty good fighter if he got proper training. Plus he’s got the prehensile tongue, pheromone secretion, acidic saliva, secretion of a paralytic resin, mind control over frogs - his Marvel bio is a long, long list of secondary powers. Toad could be quite formidable if he actually got his shit together, and there are AU’s (like House of M and Age of Apocalypse) where we see a much more stable, competent, intelligent Toad who is living up to his potential. But 616 Toad remains a joke, He’s either a low-level bad guy (they tried to level him up in the 90′s by making him the leader of the Brotherhood, but it didn’t last) or a pathetic sad-sack used for humor, or both. His attempt to “join” the X-Men led to him being the janitor and basically getting treated like shit (he literally had no bed?) then getting kicked out when he follow Husk to the Hellfire Academy, even though he did that largely out of concern for Husk, and actually helped her and Quentin escape.

Basically, Toad has been subjected to horrible abuse pretty much his entire life, he has a mutation that makes him appear “ugly”, and everyone treats him with, at best, pity, and at worst, hatred and disgust. I’ll admit, he’s had a few chances to better his life that have fallen through because of his own bad choices (and he’s done some horrible things, especially when he was leading the Brotherhood in the 90′s), but most of the time he’s just getting continuously kicked while he’s down. To a certain extent, it’s really a matter of comic writers not being willing to take Toad seriously - he’s considered a joke villain, and therefore gets written that way, because he’s there as an accessory in someone else’s story. At least the Toad/Husk storyline seemed to focus some on Toad himself as a character, even if it ended badly for him. Sometimes, I kinda think Toad is written as evil or pathetic so that writers can justify other characters being shitty towards him. Like, Magneto’s early treatment of Toad was absolutely, inexcusably horrible. Magneto treated everyone in the Brotherhood badly, including his own children, but it seemed like Toad caught the worst of it. Pietro and Wanda were also disgusted by Toad, although they had good reason, since his affection towards Wanda was pretty creepy. Later on, Magneto was revamped into more of a noble, morally grey character, and his past abuse of Toad was mostly forgotten. I don’t think the writers are necessarily doing this on purpose, but it kind feels like Toad remaining a pathetic bad guy was partially a way to excuse Magneto’s poor treatment of him, since Magneto was being reinvented as a more likable character. And not just Magneto, but just about everyone who finds Toad disgusting or cracks jokes about how gross he is – it’s okay, Toad is awful so it’s totally fine to have the physically attractive good guys mock him and treat him like garbage. (Hell, the artists can’t even decide what Toad’s physical appearance should be. Is he skinny? Fat? Does he have green skin? Is his nose ridiculously long or closer to normal? Who knows what we’ll get in each issue. And God forbid he be drawn without his tongue lolling out of his mouth.)

Also, I think that a lot of Toad’s worst personality flaws are at least partially due to the abuse he suffered. To be clear, I’m not justifying the things that Toad has done. He set up death traps for people who wronged him, murdered Sauron’s girlfriend, and stalked and attacked Wanda multiple times. That’s pretty shitty of him! But I also think the abuse had a huge effect on Toad and how he interacts with people. Like, his tendency to obsessively latch onto people, and act like a sniveling lackey – the dude has had pretty much no love his entire life, and he’s always been treated like garbage. Of course he has no self-esteem, of course he’ll fawn over anyone that shows him affection. He’s been raised to believe that he is garbage. Even his tendency to gloat over others being punished, and his whole “I’ll tell Magneto, and you’ll get in trouble!” thing is an understandable survival mechanism – other people getting in trouble means that he’s not the target, for once. Obviously I can’t condone Toad trying to murder people that wronged him, but his anger and resentment is also understandable after the poor treatment he’s suffered. In fact, I think it’s actually healthier for him to be angry than to think that he deserves it. And a lot of the shitty things he did as Brotherhood leader also felt like him desperately wanting to be taken seriously, to be respected – also not a bad thing to want, even if his actions were terrible. Basically, Toad has a lot of personality flaws, and he’s also had a lot of experiences that created or exacerbated those personality flaws. The guy needs serious, long-term therapy, and I think he could become a better (or at least more competent) person if he got the help that he so obviously needs.

TL, DR: Basically, Toad deserves better.

Avalanche:

I have to admit, a lot of my love for Avalanche is all about his relationship with Pyro, be it friendship or something more. (It’s something more in my headcanons, I will forever ship them.) But he’s also a character that we don’t know much about, in part because he tends to talk a lot less than a certain chatty Australian. He seems, more than anything, to be a practical-minded punch-clock villain, who is mostly in it for the money. He doesn’t seem to enjoy putting on a show and reveling in his powers like Pyro, and he doesn’t seem to have the same mean streak that can be seen in Blob (and Pyro, to be fair). I’m sure there are probably instances of Avalanche being dickish and cruel, but in a lot of his appearances that I’ve read, he seems very practical. Do the job, get paid. He also seems fairly content to be a follower or a lackey – happy to take orders from Mystique, or even follow Pyro’s lead when Mystique isn’t around. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have his own ideas or opinions, but he doesn’t particularly feel the need to be a leader. Like Pyro, we also don’t know much about his past before the Brotherhood, except that he was married at some point. Where’s his wife now? Why didn’t it work out? Was it because of him being a mutant, or was it his activities with the Brotherhood that drove them apart? Does he still love her? Why did he join the Brotherhood in the first place?

Avalanche also seems to care somewhat about his team-mates, although he’s not as openly friendly as Pyro. During Freedom Force’s disastrous last mission, he made the difficult call to abandon Pyro and Blob to save Commando, something that he was clearly broken up about. And of course, he was willing to go on a mission in the Savage Land with Pyro to get a Legacy Virus cure (that unfortunately didn’t actual exist). Avalanche is selective about who he cares about, but he still shows that he cares through his actions. I don’t want to make this all about Pyro, but I really love their relationship. The stoic, quiet guy/chatty energetic guy dynamic is great. They just love being bros and committing crimes together, and they are quick to work together and back each other up, even in their earliest appearances. I would totally read a min-series focusing on the early days of Mystique’s brotherhood, especially if it gave us some good Avalanche, Pyro and Blob development, and didn’t just center around Rogue and Mystique (both fantastic characters, but they’ve both got a lot of attention directed at them already.)

Also, Avalanche likes to garden, which is nice. And at one point he just got fed-up with everything and tried to retire and become a bartender, which is very relatable. Unfortunately Red Skull murdered him after that. Sorry, Avalanche. I hope you are resurrected on Krakoa, living your best life.

Blob:

Another character who is often not taken seriously. Blob is mean-spirited, crass, and often self-interested, much like the rest of the Brotherhood members. He also was extremely close to Unus, and clearly devastated when Unus’s powers went out of control and killed him. Blob is one of those characters where I think his physical appearance has led to him being designated as a bad guy by the writers – he’s big and gross, so, just like Toad, he’ll be portrayed as a bad person in order to justify the good guys being terrible to him. (Yes, I know there are “ugly” good guys, but let’s face it, they are rare. Most of the good guys look like models.) Blob also, like Toad, gets a lot of crap for his physical appearance, something that is literally part of his mutation. I think some of Blob’s nastiness is definitely a defense mechanism, lashing out at others because he is used to being attacked. It also seems like Blob is really lacking in close friendships, like what Mystique and Destiny or Pyro and Avalanche have (“friendship”). He was really the odd man out in Mystique’s brotherhood. He’s willing to pal around with various Brotherhood members, including Avalanche and Pyro when they’re not picking fights with each other, but he doesn’t seem to have a best buddy after Unus’s death. I kind of admire Blob’s toughness. It would be easy for him to completely lose his self-esteem, like Toad, but he stands up for himself and never grovels to others. He is frequently insulted for his mutation, but he also seems comfortable in his own skin, which is good. He shouldn’t have to feel bad about his own body.

There was an AU story that showed a softer, more thoughtful Blob who wound up in a relationship with Psylocke, so we know he’s capable of showing a better side of himself. To some extent, I like Blob’s crass, take-no-shit personatliy, but I’d also like to see writers give him more depth. I’d especially like to see him reunite with Unus on Krakoa, and the two of them hanging out enjoying each other’s company. I’m also enjoying the cameos we get of bartender Blob on Krakoa, I hope he is also living his best life.

Phantazia:

Honestly, I mostly just want to know more about her. All we really know is that she has a PhD (in some kind of scientific field, I think….she is reading a book on astrophysics in one comic), and she was willing to join Toad’s Brotherhood (and she was also the only Brotherhood member that received an invitation from Exodus to Asteroid M). Why? What was her life before that? Who knows? Most of the time, she seems rather cold, and a bit distant from her team-mates (but I can’t entirely blame her, the Brotherhood is a rough crowd. It’s hard to be the new team-mate, and probably especially hard to be the only woman.) She did seem concerned about Pyro when he was suffering from the Legacy Virus, but she kind of dropped out of sight when the Brotherhood disbanded. She seems like she was mostly in it for personal gain, especially since Toad’s Brotherhood was more about petty crime than mutant rights. Apparently she was deeply affected by Wanda’s reality alterations, which took a toll on her mental health, and was last seen in a SHIELD holding cell. I hope she pops up again on Krakoa.

Rogue:

The only reason Rogue is so low on the list is that I sometimes forget she was ever a Brotherhood member, and because I like to focus more on lesser known characters. But I really like Rogue! She’s tough but sweet, and an incredible badass. Leaving the Brotherhood for the X-Men meant walking away from her team and foster-mother(s), but she still did it, and became one of the X-Men’s most dependable and valued members. I love Rogue’s past, her relationship with Mystique, her relationship with Gambit. I love how she doesn’t take shit, but she also doesn’t go around acting like a jerk, like some of the “tough” characters. (Wolverine, basically.) I like the complexity of her struggles with her powers, and her knowing that her strongest abilities, like strength and flight, were basically “stolen” from someone else. I feel like I should say more, but Rogue is very popular and has had loads written about her already. Rogue is cool, and she deserves the best!

Mystique:

A truly fascinating character. She’s also lower on the list because she is fairly well-known and popular, and also because she can absolutely be a manipulative piece of shit, willing to throw everyone except Destiny under the bus. Yet, at the same time, we see her appear to genuinely care about people, like Rogue, Nightcrawler (after the unfortunate “toss baby off a cliff” incident), Destiny, even Pyro occasionally (she has a nice moment with him on Muir Island, and also calls him “friend” in X-Factor). She’s a character who can never be entirely trusted, which is a large part of what makes her interesting. I think she truly does care about a few, select people. Hell, there’s an early issue in which Mystique fights a bunch of robots programmed to look and act like the X-Men (courtesy of Arcade), and she completely breaks down after having to “kill” the Rogue robot, then hesitates to attack the Nightcrawler bot. I think Mystique can also be extremely callous, cold and manipulative, but I don’t think she is completely evil, just very self-interested, like a lot of villains. Also, she’s probably seen and experienced a lot of shit over her long life that contributed to that callousness (I figure if I’m gonna cut Toad and Blob some slack, I should do the same for Mystique.) I do wish she would stop committing rape by deception in stories (meaning sleeping with someone while disguised as someone else). It’s something that gets glossed over, even though fandom generally despises rapist male villains (and rightfully so), but Mystique pretending to be Blink and sleeping with Mimic is barely a story blip.

Mystique is also interesting just because she’s such a badass. She’s cunning, a good leader, a good strategist, excellent spy, good at hand-to-hand combat (she only loses to Arcade’s X-Men robots because she hesitates). She is damn formidable! She’s also lived a varied and interesting life. There’s a reason she’s gotten so much exposure in comics. I can also understand her being short-tempered while leading the Brotherhood, as she has to deal with the three stooges of Pyro, Avalanche and Blob. Then things get even more complicated during the Freedom Force days. Mystique has a lot of shit to deal with keeping those idiots in line. Her relationship with Destiny is probably my favorite thing about Mystique, they are beautiful wives, and I hope she gets Destiny resurrected so the two of them can live happily together on Krakoa. (Unlikely.)

Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch:

I don’t have much to say about these two, even though I like them. I’m starting to run out of steam in terms of character analysis, and I tend to think of them more as Avengers than Brotherhood members. They both deserve better. Also, they are mutants and Magneto is their dad. Retcon? What retcon?

Destiny:

I don’t have much to say about Destiny because she is very mysterious – always working according to some plan that only she knows. So it’s hard to really know her as a character. She seems like a very intelligent and calm woman. She’s always chilling while the Brotherhood guys are freaking out or picking fights with each other. She also faced her own death bravely and willingly. She seems to have a good sense of humor. One of my favorite stories is Mystique disposing of Destiny’s ashes after her death. She is throwing them off a boat at a specific time and place, according to Destiny’s instructions – and the wind blows them back into her face. Obviously Destiny planned it as a last prank, and I have to like a character who sets that up. Also, one time she let a rock wall collapse on Avalanche and Spiral because she knew they wouldn’t be seriously hurt, and she hated Spiral and wanted to enjoy her humiliation. That’s some impressive pettiness. Destiny is cool, and I hope she comes back.

Sauron:

I don’t really care about him at all.

Mastermind:

Seems like a real creep, especially with his manipulation of Jean Grey/Phoenix in the Dark Phoenix saga. At least he apologized to her at his death. Also, he’s got three daughters, the dude gets around. Regan, Martinique, and Pixie (WTF?! I just read that in his bio.) I am really confused by there being two Mastermind daughters with the same powers, but apparently it was actually a mix-up between two writers. Oops!

That’s all. I know there have been later Brotherhood iterations with other members, including one or both Lady Masterminds, but that was during a time when I wasn’t reading much X-Men, so I’m not familiar with most of those characters. I might have more to say if I eventually read some of the later Brotherhood stories.

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cruddyborderlandstheories · 4 years

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so i’d really like to finish my guardian takedown lore analysis, but honestly the game isn’t really fun to play at the moment anymore (even with the health debuffs they added) so I think im going to be taking a break for now because I’m just not having fun anymore.

this game has a lotta mechanical problems i think need to be addressed so im gonna summarize it as bullet points below. I’ll play the new dlc when it drops, but idk if i’ll be on more than that (grinding, end-game stuff) until they make some serious changes. I’ve been playing (near) daily since launch, followed the patch/hotfix notes every single week, and my patience has finally, FINALLY run dry, especially with that really disappointing Phase 1 Patch and then the hotfix this week not adding anything else. What is the balancing team doing??? 😩

tl;dr: FIX THE VAULT HUNTERS!!!!

anyway. That’s all I needed to get outta my system. I might log on to this blog every now and again to post some random shit that pops into my head (probably with regards to my AU), but I’m not going to be actively playing and posting for the time being. Goodbye (for now), and here’s hoping the new DLC is good!!

guardian takedown only problems:

there’s a lot of waiting around, and sometimes it’s not explicitly stated that you’re waiting for something, so you’ll be lost on what to do next (not sure if that’s a dialogue glitch or not)

the crystal charge insta-death is bull. just. what the hell. at least make it so you just have to start over. killing ur players for failing a “puzzle” that they then have to fight all the way back to is so infuriating.

dying because you fell off a platforming puzzle is also bull.

i remember playing the first DMC on my playstation in middle school and having a conniption over the part in the observatory(? it’s been a hot minute since I played DMC 1) with the disappearing/invisible platforms. I h a t e jumping puzzles. why are they in a section of the game where death is semi-permanent and a detriment to your teammates. i tried the takedown 2x with friends and both times one friend didn’t make the first big jump to the temple and had to wait for our inevitable deaths. that’s so unfair to them.

there’s absolutely no reason for a boss to have 12 fuckin immunity phases. 4 per health bar with 3 health bars? Who the fuck designed this? *pumps shotgun* i just wanna talk.

i appreciate a tasteful immunity phase every now and again (the ones in the Valkyrie fight are actually p reasonable), but christ. that is overkill. I don’t mind the main boss fight, since u can end those early through certain actions, but jesus. the mid-boss fight is annoying as hell. you spend more time running from the immunity phases and finding the damn boss than u do actually shooting it.

drop rates are crap, which I guess should be expected given what happened with the Maliwan Takedown and the handful of months it took for them to fix that, but also you think they’d have learned.

in the maliwan takedown there’s a sense of progression thru the facility after you kill each area’s batch of enemies, but in this one it’s... dampened by the crystal charging sequences. you kill all the enemies in an area, press a button, and now you have to kill 3x that number of enemies in the same area, expect you’re just standing there motionless. It’s not fun.

the crystal charging stuff is just not fun in general. standing in a square is not entertaining. it’s worse that it was clearly designed for 3+ players when a majority of people play/grind solo

i gotta admit the boss fights just aren’t as fun as the Maliwan Takedown fights overall. I felt like a real badass fighting Wotan for the first time, but the main boss for this Takedown is kind of a bitch. Wotan’s fight is chaos, there’s so much shit happening at once and you don’t really have time to process everything and I love it. This one is p meh...

This would be fine and I’d 100% not care that much if there weren’t all these OTHER problems

General Issues with the Game

There’s no endgame stuff to play outside of the takedowns.

I assume they’re working on the first raid given some stuff I found in the Guardian Takedown files, but I really wish they’d keep the seasonal events/areas. They give us the option to disable/enable them while they’re ‘active’, just give us the ability to do it whenever we want.

when i hop on i either run through Athenas (my favorite map), or farm a boss or two. I have all the loot i really need from the maliwan takedown/elsewhere, and the guardian takedown just... isn’t fun atm, so i have nothing to do.

I’ve reset my playthru multiple times to play the main story at m10, but u can only play it (and the dlc) so many times

Mayhem levels and modifiers are a hot m e s s

a majority of the modifiers just aren’t fun to play with

they incorporated like 2-3 fun modifiers (from the community), then added a bunch that straight-up aren’t. I’m fine with the game being more difficult, but at least give us modifiers that make it more entertaining to play at a higher level instead of more annoying. I like the ones that have trade-offs or add new ‘enemies’, but I hate the ones that just straight up reduce your damage output.

a majority of the weapons with the mayhem 10 anointment (scaling) do not work on mayhem 10 (we’ll go more in-depth with this later)

Player Characters (Vault Hunters!!!) are also a hot mess and a lot of problems plaguing them haven’t been fixed SINCE LAUNCH

theyre literally the basis of the game and its balance. why havent you guys fixed them yet. stop adding new content until they’re fixed. no new skill trees until the base 3 trees work ON EVERY CHARACTER.

seriously. Why is amara p much limited to using Phasegrasp. Why does Iron Bear not matter to Moze except to proc anointments. MAKE ALL ACTION SKILLS EQUAL AND HAVE HEFT.

i wrote an essay here about it bc i feel that strongly about this

SERIOUSLY FIXING UR VAULT HUNTERS WILL MAKE BALANCING SO MUCH EASIER PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU THEY ARE THE BASE OF UR BALANCING WOES

ZANE IS STILL UNUSABLE WITHOUT THE SEEIN’ DEAD CLASS MOD!!!!!!!!!!!

MOZE IS SCREWED BC HER DAMAGE IS TOO RELIANT ON ASE ANOINTMENTS!!

AMARA DOESN’T HAVE A FUCKING MELEE BUILD AS THE ADVERTISED MELEE CHARACTER???

FL4K’S HEADCOUNT SKILL IS S T I L L BROKEN EVER SINCE THE RELEASE OF THE MALIWAN TAKEDOWN

ARE YOU GUYS LISTENING TO THE COMMUNITY *PLEASEEEEEEE*

BUFF AND FIX THE GODDAMN VAULT HUNTERS

Anointments were a mistake. Damage end-game is wayyyy too reliant on them

anoints should have a maximum of, like, a 20% damage bonus. the damage necessary to kill enemies *should be coming from the VHs themselves*. i don’t care if you have to revamp every single Vault Hunter’s skill trees and buff them all by 9000%. THEY DESERVE IT AT THIS POINT

at the moment in m10 there really isn’t much build diversity *even between Vault Hunters*. We’re all using the same 5 guns (OPQ System. Kaoson. idk. fuckin brainstormer? is that still a thing? jesus fuck) with the same 3 anointments (100% on ASE, cryo while SNTL, and 300% while 90%).

you want to diversify builds like you said during the gameplay reveal???? you want our choice in Vault Hunter to actually fuckin matter???? FIX THEM!!!! THEY SHOULD BE ABLE TO DEAL DAMAGE WITHOUT STUPID POWERFUL LEGENDARIES AND ANOINTMENTS!!!

Anoints also shouldn’t be common. At all. They should be, like, Pearl rarity. To let that happen, their damage needs to be tuned way the fuck down (again, 20ish % bonus MAX) and ALL ANOINTS NEED TO BE USEFUL IN SOME WAY

NOBODY IS GOING TO USE THE AIRBORNE OR SLIDING ANOINTMENTS JUST REMOVE THEM ALREADY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

obviously these changes can’t happen because they fucked up and buckled down with everything being anointed in m10, but still

imagine a world where the VHs actually did damage on their own without anointments and the damage buff from them was just an incentive to grind for the 100% perfect weapon and NOT A REQUIREMENT TO DEAL DAMAGE

>:(

A majority of gear is borderline worthless at M10

I’m fine with the difficulty of M10, i should let it be known. The enemy health isn’t really the problem IF ALL GUNS ACTED THE SAME AS THE OPQ SYSTEM

ffs.

you know, if you fixed ur vault hunters so they all did damage with just purple weapons (abt the same damage as legendaries w/o special effects) and removed the anointment requirement from late-game play, balancing your guns would be sooo much easier. you know. just saying.

right now only 10% (im being generous) of guns in the game are viable. 90% are worthless. We need AT LEAST 60-70% viable at M10. WHERE IS MY BUILD DIVERSITY. WHY ARE ALL LEGENDARIES NOW JUST “HEY THIS GUN IS STRONGER THAN THE LAST 4 WE RELEASED. HAVE FUN”

how to fix this problem? do as above: BUFF YOUR PLAYER CHARACTERS. MAKE ANOINTMENTS LESS STRONG.

then, at least the 10% already strong weapons would be stupid strong and OP as fuck, BUT AT LEAST WE COULD HAVE BUILD VARIETY!!! I don’t care if other people are dummy strong one-shotting everything in sight. I don’t! so long as they don’t play with me, I couldn’t care less!!! I want to be able to play with the unique, interesting legendaries. instead of the OPQ System. which, by the way, I dislike compared to the normal Q-System. let me use the frozen heart shield and the infiltrator mod. I don’t wanna be chained to the Seein’ Dead anymore :(

honestly at this point im starting to think removing slag was a mistake bc then at least we could use guns that aren’t solely damage-based guns. you know how fucked up you’ve got me that im thinking maybe slag wouldn’t be so bad this time around??? YOU GOT ME FUCKED UP B A D.

FIX THE GAME

IM TAKING A BREAK

MAYBE I’LL BE LESS UPSET WHEN I COME BACK FOR THE DLC BUT HOT. DIGGITY. SHIT.

#borderlands #bl3 #whelp #i needed to get that out #still frustrated...#just... fix the game #please #its so disheartening to see this STILL going on #like i know bl2 had the same problems #with the balancing #remember when they nerfed zer0 and buffed salvador?#but like christ at least they were messing with the vault hunters #now they're trying to brush their problems under the rug and it's really sad to watch #you would think they'd have learned from bl2

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thoughtfullyyoungduck · 4 years

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I’m gonna love you like I’ve never been hurt before.

summary: Could I request one where Richie plans an elaborate proposal for Eddie at their house with everyone invited and when he does, Eddie gets overwhelmed by the attention on him and runs upstairs to their bathroom with Richie apologizing before Eddie accepts the proposal?

A/N: I’m so sorry that this took so long I hope it’s worth it! I’m on a camping trip right now so to the two other request I have in my inbox I hope you don’t mind waiting a week, I’ll try work on it in the meanwhile! Let me know what you think.

tag-list: @richietoaster , @s-s-georgie , @mikeuris , @gazebobullshit , @that-weird-girls-blog , @tozierking , @s-onora , @bellarosewrites , @ambitiousskychild , @ghostnebula , @cupcakeefrosting

‘Fuck, I’m so fucking stupid.’ Eddie complained to his own mirror image, pacing around the small bathroom he had chosen to hide in. He splashed water in his face, hoping to bring down the heating of his inflamed cheeks. The party downstairs had gotten suspiciously quiet after his performance, but he couldn’t fault them for that.

Hopefully they all retreated back to their homes and leave Eddie and Richie to deal with the shambles of their relationship, if there even was one after this. Eddie wouldn’t be surprised if Richie decided to break things of with him. He could also start living in the bathroom, condemning himself to the life of a hermit so he never had to face the consequences of what he had done.

How does one relationship recuperate from something like this in the first place? Do any couples stay together after one of them rejects a marriage proposal? In all technicality Eddie didn’t reject Richie, but he did run off before giving any sort of response, and that’s as good an answer as any. If Eddie would have brought his phone with him, he would’ve looked up the statics of them surviving this ordeal on the internet, but his phone was abended on the kitchen counter. Fuck, Eddie didn’t want this to ruin everything he and Richie had worked so hard on to build, the one time he was happy and content and he had to go and fuck it up.

This is what he had dreamed of doing to Myra, not so the walking out clueless part, but the saying no. Eddie cursed himself at the alter for letting it get that far, but hadn’t had the galls to say anything about it in front of his mother and Myra’s family. So then why did he do this time?

‘Eddie are you in here?’ Richie asked from the other side of the door, voice uncharacteristically soft and sad, and Eddie mentally prepared for the; ‘it’s not you it’s me’, speech, except this one would go something like this; ‘it is, your fault, I asked you to marry me and you took off and that was an ego breaking and reputation imploding experience, so why don’t we do each other a favor and break it off now.’ The fact that he didn’t bother with Eds anymore installed a deep feeling of longing to hear the words from his boyfriends mouth.

‘Yeah Rich’, Eddie quietly admitted, digging the buts of his palms in his eyes to will the tears away.

‘Can I come in?’

‘Yeah.’

The bathroom tiles needed revamping, they were flaked with spots from Richie colored hair wash he dyed his hair with for a movie, but Eddie never inspected the place to ensure everything was spotless. He should have, because Richie lacks severely in the cleaning deportment. He compensates by being extra talented in cooking and taking Eddie’s mind of things, his workload or the manifestations of the abuse his mother made him endure. Eddie, is a perfectionist, and once he decided to rid himself from any and all influences of his mother, he loathed the little things he would subsequently enucleate, slipping in the way he surveyed Richie doing laundry for example, or the way he demanded a full list of ingredients from the waiter in full detail.

Richie knows precisely how to approach those moods and adjust him back on the right path, reminding him that it’s okay to sometimes mess up, recovery isn’t linear. Eddie didn’t know how to begin his life without Richie anymore.

“Eddie I’m so, so sorry, can you please forgive me?’

Eddie faltered, the words not exactly what he had lurked over and over again his head. ‘I – I’m… what?’

‘I don’t know what I was thinking, I assumed that because we’ve been dating for two years you wouldn’t object… but it was fucking wrong and I’m so extremely sorry. But hey, at least we now know the bachelor isn’t a roll for me huh?’ Richie tried, a smile so faint gracing his features. He was distraught and trying to make up for something that in no way was his fault, a pit in Eddie’s stomach settled and grew.

‘Rich, that’s not on you. It’s on me. I should never have walked away, I just – fuck I can’t think of what to say.’

He dropped to the side of bathtub, laying his head in his hands as he hunched over. Richie hesitated and then shuffled forward a step, slowly as if he was giving Eddie the chance to reject him and to tell him to go away. With a huff, Eddie circled his wrist and tugged him onwards, sliding over to make room at the edge of the bath. Richie took the invitation for what it was, and graced down next to him.

Eddie opened his mouth to say something, but his mind was empty, backtracking on the whole day and wishing he had a way of changing the past so he could say yes.

‘This is just like that one time in college where I spend the night at someone’s dorm, and his roommate took someone home too and the two of us hid in the bathroom the next morning waiting for them to leave so we could sneak out without being spotted.’

‘Really asshole? You’re talking about a previous fucking hookup after you proposed to me?’

That was the wrong thing to say, Richie dispirited away, head tucked in his shoulders, and legs crossing from the previous position they upheld being splayed out. He shrunk from 6.3 to the size of a middle school child getting scolded by the teacher, and Eddie shrunk right by him.

‘Richie I’m sorry.’

‘What do you have to be sorry Eds -Eddie. You have every right to say no.’

It’s not- I didn’t- I don’t say no,’ Richie raised his eyebrows in disbelief. ‘I’m serious, it was too much is all.’

The proportion of people present, the overuse of balloons in every open space in their house, heart shaped and gigantic, and Eddie kept impinging the damn one in the doorway to the kitchen. The only thing that stopped him from taking a knife and popping it was Richie’s manager, stationed by the it, a murderous look at everyone who tried to make small talk with him. The ring that must have costed thousands of dollars. Yes, Richie may be rich, but that didn’t mean Eddie only wanted extravagant and mind-blowing things, he was not that type of gall as Richie himself would word.

A twinge of panic martyrs Eddie, one of him being in the spotlight with Richie, fans yelling out their names and chasing them to take autographs, or paparazzi hiding in bushes to shoot the glamor shot and earn a quick buck of their backs. Too much attention, like today. Of his mother influencing him to ask Myra on a date and devoting her time and effort into tweaking adjust on Myra to make her a perfect bride for him, and Eddie finally stills whirlwind in his mind, deluding all the panic to a single point.

‘I hated the attention.’ Richie turns to face him. ‘I hate how people stare at me and judge me I can’t stand that from anyone besides our friends. All these people that were here tonight were so much more than just our friends, and I couldn’t stand that. I know it doesn’t make any sense and you’d never do that but I can’t stand the fact I’m basically fucking coerced into saying yes.’

The proposal could be boiled down to be a parody of the proposal Myra waylaid him. Her proposal, she was the one who bend down on one knees after a solid piece of advice from his mother, under scrutiny of all their gibberish speaking coworkers.

She showed up in a dress that Eddie claimed to absolutely have a penchant for, he really only said to like the dress because his mother told him he should, and broke down in weepy tears as she read off a love letter from some book she was reading at the time that didn’t apply to their relationship in the slightest bit. Eddie said yes, steered into it by the forceful stares and the face of his mother scolding him if he came home and told her he said no to Myra’s requested, and grew to hate the marriage because of it. But their relationship shouldn’t be a casualty because of a bad previous experience.

It’s not the same with Richie, but at some level it is. The whole setting was so unlike him he’s stunned Richie chose to do it in such a manor.

‘Shit Eds, that’s not at all what I was trying to do.’

Eddie cupped Richie’s cheek in his hands, stroking the skin underneath his eye, the same patch that always twitches right before Richie tipped over the edge in sleep, and smiles genuinely.

‘I know that Rich. Of fucking course I do, It just brought back bad memories is all. The balloons and the song were a bit much don’t you agree? Plus where the fuck did you find a ring so expensive this late in the game? I’ve been with you every second the last two weeks how did you find time to buy it?’

‘I wanted this to be special and exciting to you, a big romantic gesture to show to the whole world how much I love you, but I guess I failed. Just like I failed to go to the store and buy groceries, did I tell you that yet?’ Richie grimaced, the muscles in his lower face stretching back and a hissing at the same time. His face pulled in an ugly expression. The too bad was left unsaid.

‘Fuck you dude it was your turn to buy them, I texted you five times.’

‘Yeah, but I was busy planning everything, and I expected us to go out to dinner after in celebrations sooo,’ Richie drawled the oo out, ‘tough luck butternut.’

‘Okay and breakfast? Breakfast requires groceries too. I’m going to be hogging the toast we have left, finders keepers losers weepers.’ Eddie divines in the small semblance of normal between them, the push and pull they both live for.

‘Marry me’, Richie asks out of the blue, sliding of the bath and sinking on his knees in front of Eddie. The ring is tucked inside his back pocket, and he trails it out.

‘Are you serious? You still want to marry me after all that?’

‘Eds, I’ve wanted to marry you since I knew what the term marriage entailed, and I’ll want to marry you fifty years from now.’ Richie flushed, biting his lip to not let anything else stupid spill. ‘But don’t feel pressured, If you don’t choose to marry me now, or ever for that matter, that’s okay too. I just hope we can spend the rest of our lives together, as husbands or lovers.’

Richie scratched the top of his hair with the one hand he wasn’t using to hold the up the ring. ‘This the minimalistic proposal you’ve been dreaming off? Just the two of us, a semi normal evening, let erase everything that happened before this point today please, no expensive shit? Well, I guess the ring was expensive, but, it’s not about the money, it’s about the sentiment. It’s my dad’s wedding ring.’

‘Wait, are you for real?’

‘I’m trying to figure out what answer is more likely to get me laid tonight but you’re thinking face is making it hard to tell.’

‘Richie, that was the most coherent and sincere thing you’ve ever said to me, please keep going.’

‘Okay yes, it is. Back in Derry, after you and your mom took off with the sunset, I was missing you and my dad understood somehow. I didn’t explicitly say it, too busy making love jokes about your mom, but he deducted it. That day my aunt came to harass my mom into modifying her wedding dress, and she conducted a whole storyline about how her fiancé asked her hand in marriage with his mother’s wedding band and that my mother should take an example of that, and I blared off at her. Later, my dad came into my room and promised me that if I ever found you again, he would relinquish his instead of my mothers.’ Richie tapped away on the side of the object, Eddie recognizes the beat of the number they had their first ever dance too, wondering how long Richie contemplated popping the question before doing so.

‘Richie fuck, I love you so much. I need to profusely show my appreciation to your dad.’

‘Don’t talk about my dad when I’m on one knee Eds, a man’s, I’m the man in question, ego will be hurt. The question still needs answering by the way…’

‘If I say yes will you stop calling me Eds?’

‘… no, never.’

‘Well then yes.’

Eddie flew off the handle, crashing into Richie in a wild flurry of limbs and emotions, their lips dancing in a slow inducting dance, pirouetting him all the way to the bottom of his existent and then twirling him back up to become fully aware of his every part. Richie lead, decelerate and facilitating as he pleased. Eddie hunkered for this exhilaration, the burst of spine tingling pops either riling him up or drowsy with heavy eyes, depending on what he desired.

‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah.’

Another peck and the two unstuck from the other, Eddie’s hand trailing the muscle of Richie arm to lead it to his hand. Richie beamed, tears glistening in the sunlight, as Richie slid on the ring with a steady hand.

‘I love you’, he whispered like it was supposed to be a secret, and Eddie parroted the sentiment twice as vigor.

‘So, just to make sure, this is not the story we’re telling our future kids when they ask how we got married right?’

‘Absolutely not, If they ever ask, you proposed in an intimate setting and I accepted on the first try.’

‘I abide to that.’

#reddie #hurt comfort #it chapter two imagine #reddie imagine #fluff a bit too #My writing #it 2019 #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrack

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vios-rockland-corner · 4 years

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Dollmaker Talk PT 2

*snaps fingers* Guess what? I got the “okay” sign to talk a little bit more about Runawayoutlaw’s unfinished Dollmaker build.

That means yes I will be going into my thoughts about the characters and setting this time. I focused on Dollmaker being outside the Rockland canon and the game mechanics last time.

(MAJOR spoilers below for the unfinished Dollmaker build)

First of all, what is the plot of Dollmaker? Well the MC this time around is a medical student attending a seminar that day on improving relations between demons and humans for the greater good. One of the very speakers at the lecture is none other than Dr. Sano Kojima. The MC apparently catches his eye and you two seem to get along fairly well considering you admire him for his position (he’s a demon ambassador) and he appreciates that you seem to be specializing in demons for your medical degree. All seems to be going well and you look forward to discussing the profession with him more...only to get caught off guard when he knocks you out and brings you to his home. The atmosphere quickly changes when you wake up and he cuts straight to point that his main goal is turn you into a human doll! He puts a binding spell on you so you can’t escape the house, but he gives you the freedom to walk about as you please.

That’s pretty much the gist of the game. From there it’s about exploration and getting to know the inhabitants of the house, and on rare occasions, seeing some visitors.

Sano Kojima

As I stated in my previous post, both Sano and Akira have been introduced beforehand in BTD. This game was meant to revamp the characters and stories. For the most part, I’d say personality wise that Sano stays very similar to his BTD counterpart. He’s very calm and professional. He’s very much into his research and appreciates compliance from the MC. He can still kill you in this, but the only such ending I found is if you fight back repeatedly right away. Like I said, he prefers compliance. He is probably one of the more sane of the three main house inhabitants and possibly the nicest? It’s hard to say when I feel like both Sano and Annabelle’s routes weren’t quite finished yet. That or I haven’t found everything yet.

I will say compared to the BTD game, Sano here doesn’t show nearly as much sadism or malice. He DOES still want to turn you into a doll though, but again I don’t think his route was fully finished (or I haven’t found the right paths yet). I didn’t get a full ending with him completing the doll transformation, so other than the beginning, we don’t get to delve into that obsession as much as I would have liked. I remember playing BTD and getting that one ending and thinking, “Oh! I love that concept, I wish I could have seem more of the character focused on that.” Dollmaker is obviously supposed to do that, but the creator didn’t get around to the finishing touches. I kept getting stuck in the same loops with “Sano’s route,” so I can’t say much else.

Annabelle Winter

Annabelle is a brand new character. There’s a bio for her luckily in the game to explain some of who she is (a former lead singer), but otherwise I probably was able to get the least information about her in the game. I remember some notes about her one tumblr way back when Dollmaker was being developed. Basically, she’s supposed to be Sano’s “first doll.” You, the MC, would then end up being the second doll. You can tell this really doesn’t sit well with Annabelle, even if I couldn’t get much more information about her feelings in the game. There’s a conversation between Akira and her you can spy on, but you really aren’t quite sure what’s happening. Her room was also always locked for me. I don’t know if the programming for it all hadn’t been completed like Sano’s wasn’t, or I just wasn’t performing the correct actions.

The existence of Annabelle is interesting though because then it does make you ask questions like: What’s her relationship with Sano? Are they lovers or something else? Is she jealous that he’s making a new doll? Does Sano plan to throw Annabelle out after he has you? Does this mean the MC could also get tossed out later? What’s her relationship with Akira? Stuff like that adds more tension to the atmosphere. On the plus side, at least you know Sano’s successfully turned someone into a doll before, so you know the procedure should go fine (yay?). Personality wise, I didn’t have enough to go off of to get a real good idea of what she’s like. She can be a little bitter and creepy, that’s for sure, but also talks sensibly with someone like Akira. It’s hard to say.

Akira Kojima

Ah Akira! Probably the character that was the closest to completion in my opinion. That doesn’t mean his whole path WAS complete, but compared to Sano (one death ending vs. couldn’t progress) and Annabelle (hardly any progression and no ending found), Akira actually had decent introductions, quality time with the MC and an ending. Granted, it was mostly the ONE ending...but I kind of loved it and it wasn’t a death ending at least. Before I get into that, what’s he like in Dollmaker? Well he definitely has more of a domineering and feisty personality I’d say, contrasting nicely with Sano. He also can be both naughty and tender I’d say when it comes to romance. He can be pretty sensitive at times. You also learn he’s a contract killer in this game, but he doesn’t seem to really enjoy the work. That’s the only major hint I’d say of the guy being unhappy. I remember during the development process it was hinted that Akira has a LOT of baggage in this universe. Baggage unfortunately that seems to make unstable enough that he will completely flip his lid if he thinks someone is turning on him. What I’m saying is...the dude actually has a yandere ending XD I’m not joking. For those who know of my main blog and are probably thinking, “Did YOU enjoy that?” the answer is obviously HECK YES! See what happens is if you get too cozy with Akira, apparently that makes him latch onto you.

I swear to god when I played my first run, I was NOT trying to make him jealous. I thought there was more to do so I didn’t think it was a big deal if I didn’t wake him in bed (it seemed rude to me), go to the kitchen and compliment Sano’s eye. But those Telltale mechanics from the last post I talked about? This is where I realized too late they were hinting that Akira gets VERY aware of what you do in the house once he starts to like you. He doesn’t like it AT ALL if you either seem like you’re trying to leave or get friendly with anyone else then. He goes full “snap.” What he does is try to “train you” so that you agree the MC belongs to him and him alone then. I love how he does it actually because I find it pretty realistic. Yeah he gets really rough with you initially once he’s snapped, but the big thing is he throws you into a large closet. He just leaves you with a bucket and nothing else. And then he makes NO CONTACT with you. You go through...who knows how many days with occasional bottles of water or food placed on the floor without Akira talking to you or even you seeing him. Depending on your actions, sometimes he’ll pop in to check on you, but if you show that your spirit isn’t broken yet, he goes back to the no contact. He’s essentially driving the MC insane through isolation. It’s very simple but incredibly effective. Imagine literally being given nothing to do for days on end with limited food and water and just a bucket to relieve yourself in. It can start to wear on you. Humans are social creatures too (we NEED other people). I love MC’s with stronger spirits actually that don’t bend to a yandere’s whims all that easily. So yeah, I kept the MC yelling and tried to just hold out as long as I could. This puts you in a loop though and Outlaw did a nice little touch where there’s this static effect over the screen when you continue to make decisions. This helps to emphasize how monotonous this routine is becoming for the MC and you really feel less of the urge to fight back anymore. I can see why the MC broke in the end. Once they are broken, Akira comes to collect you and that’s pretty much the end.

Obviously I loved playing through Akira’s path the most. I will do one small critique here since...I’m kind of a nut about yanderes. I think it would have been nice to have a FEW more hints before Akira’s “snap” that he suffers from something like anxiety or separation over losing people. There might have been some and I just got lost in the build maze finding this information XD Like I said, I knew he had baggage (and even lost a lover) from the creator’s tumblr page during development, but I think it would have been nice to have some hints like that in the game. Just food for thought in case they want to try another yandere character in the future. Some people don’t like if you pull a “yandere snap” out of nowhere without at least dropping some kind of hint of instability with the character prior. I mean I’ll always enjoy yandere endings regardless honestly XD It depends on how serious you want to take it though. This situation was different than say Marcus from Till Death Do Us Part only because....that game basically is ALL about the “snap” there (no real progression to it like in Dollmaker). You had just enough backstory (The MC and Marcus are divorced and Marcus gives you nightmares) that him coming back as the ex from hell isn’t surprising. People can fill in the blanks and fantasize all they want there about what went wrong with the relationship beforehand. With Akira, you’re seeing the relationship progression play out, so there’s a little more pressure to make the “snap” a little more believable.

I don’t know how fair it is to critique an] game that’s clearly not finished though 0.o

There’s was other stuff in the game I enjoyed like all the little Easter eggs with the plants and paintings, and Cain even popped up briefly in a bad end :P There was other stuff I also didn’t learn about though like Mio (sorry I scared you lol), but it is what it is.

Still a nice treat.

#dollmaker #runawayoutlaw #Sano Kojima #akira kojima #annabelle winter #unfinished build

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lnfours · 5 years

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flicker (revamped): slow hands⎜t.h

summary: they’re roommates, but one night (with lots of vodka in the picture), they write up a list of rules. rule one being no strings attached. they made sure to write it large, underline it twice, and highlight it with her favorite blue highlighter. some say that rules are bound to be broken, for better or for worse. but, that’s something they have to decide.

warnings: fwb!roommate!college!au, implied sex, language, some fluff towards the end. this is also unedited and pretty shitty, so read at your own risk. count how many times i say the word ‘ping’.

wc: 1.5k

masterlist⎜prev.⎜next⎜’slow hands’ - niall horan

the soft bed sheets felt nice against your skin, the smell of tom’s cologne floating around you as you woke up. the sun was shining in through the curtains, making you squint and look to the other side. as you rolled over, you saw tom still asleep, face squished against the pillow, lips slightly parted.

you got up from the bed quietly, not wanting to wake him up. you quickly gathered your clothes off his floor before making your way back to your bedroom, throwing the dirty clothes into the hamper and changing into a pair of shorts and an old t-shirt. you walked over to the mirror placed overtop your dresser and raised your eyebrows, seeing the dark purple bruisers tom had left you the night before. your fingers trailed over them before you let out a soft sigh, grabbing your hair brush and a hair tie from the top of the wooden dresser, tying your hair up into a bun. you grabbed your laptop and quietly made your way back into the kitchen, sitting down with your computer.

meanwhile, tom was stirring awake, the sunshine pouring in through the curtains almost blinding him. he rolled to the side where you would usually be awake, tracing patterns into his skin, but when he didn’t see you or feel you next to him, he sat up, looking around the room to see if you were anywhere else.

he made his way out of his bed, throwing on the pair of boxers that were on the floor before reaching into one of his drawers and grabbing a pair of sweatpants, putting them on. he walked out his bedroom door and peered into your bedroom, not spotting you on your bed or at your desk.

he continued walking until he reached the living room, seeing you from across the room as you sat at the table, one knee propped up on the chair as your head leaned against it, eyes focused on your screen. he smiled lovingly at you, watching you from afar before making his way towards you.

you were so focused on your screen that you didn’t feel him walk into the room, didn’t see him until he was wrapping his arms around your neck, head resting on yours. you smiled, leaning back.

“hey,” you said, eyes scanning over your facebook feed,”hungry?”

you felt him shake his head,”no, whatcha doing?”

“the usual.” you shrugged, a ping coming from your laptop as a new notification popped up. you clicked on it, eyebrows furrowing as it was an invite to an event. you clicked on it and your eyes skimmed over it.

“family reunion?” he asked, reading the screen in front of you. you shrugged.

“don’t really feel like seeing them if i’m being honest.” you said, clicking off to a different tab, looking through your emails.

“how come?”

“they always ask the same questions,” you said,”’how’s writing?’ ‘how’s your love life?’ ‘oh you don’t have a boyfriend?’, shit like that.”

“well, that shouldn’t stop you from seeing them,” he said,”how about we go together, i’ll pretend to be your boyfriend.”

you laughed,”stop joking.”

“‘m not,” he said, causing you to look back at him,”you’d do the same for me, plus it sounds like fun.”

you looked at him, almost shocked,”you’re serious?”

he nodded, arms crossing,”yeah.. should i not be?”

you shook your head,”no, no, no,” you smiled, a laugh escaping your lips,”just- just shocked, y’know. thought it would kinda throw our rules out of the window.”

he shrugged,”it’s fake anyways, right?”

you nodded, feeling yourself break inside as the words left his mouth. he didn’t want it to be fake, didn’t want anything but real when he was with you, but he knew you’d never feel the same, knew you’d be better off with someone else.

“yeah,” you nodded,”yeah, i guess so.”

“so, when is this thing?” he asked, walking over to the pantry and grabbing the box of pancake mix. you turned to the screen, clicking back onto the tab.

“uhm, next weekend.” you said, looking back over at tom who was searching in the fridge.

“alright, it’s a fake date,” he said, causing you let out a laugh,”also where the fuck are the eggs.”

“remember you used the ones left to make that nasty ass protein shake.” you said, a smile forming on your lips.

“that was pretty gross, huh?” he said and you let out laugh.

“tommy, it was the definition of disgusting.”

he let out a laugh,”in my defense, harrison was the one who told me how to make it.”

“well, that’s your first mistake,” you laughed,”never trust a recipe from harrison.”

“guess you’re right,” he said, laughing with you,”wanna run to the store with me?”

you looked back at your laptop,”no, i’ve got things i gotta finish up.”

he nodded,”need anything while i’m out?”

you looked up at him as he tugged on a hoodie that was on the back of the chair at the end of the table, fixing his curls before tugging on his sneakers.

“mm,” you hummed,”coffee.”

he rolled his eyes,”of course you want coffee.”

you smiled big at him, sending him puppy dog eyes,”please.”

he felt his heart pound against his ribs, watching you stick out your bottom lip in a fake pout. he groaned, not being able to say no.

“okay, fine,” he said and you smiled,”but we’re watching the movie of my choice tonight.”

you scrunched up your nose,”you pick bad movies.”

“well, that’s the deal,” he smirked at you,”take it or leave it.”

you let out a huff,”you suck.”

“y’know you’re the one who chose me to be your roommate.”

“worst decision ever.” you joked and he faked being hurt, causing you to let out a laugh.

“go get my coffee, loser.”

he rolled his eyes playfully before opening the door to the apartment,”so bossy.”

you stuck your tongue out,”you love it.”

he sighed, looking back at you as he walked out the door.

“unfortunately.”

you smiled as he closed the door, hearing him jingle his keys as he walked down the hallway. you sighed, looking back at your computer as another ping sounded from it.

you opened your email tab, seeing the new email pop up in your inbox. you read it over again, your heart stopping as you clicked onto it.

your eyes read the words on your screen:

ms. y/l/n, as much as we love your work, unfortunately we are unable to publish it right now due to the overwhelming amount of clients we accepted into the oncoming year. we’re very sorry. best of luck, The Curtis Publishing Company

your eyes scanned over the words over and over again. you sat at the table, rereading the words one last time before you looked up at the ceiling, tears starting to form in your eyes. after a couple minutes, you made your way to your bedroom, laying down on your bed as your head hit the pillows. you didn’t even realize you let the tears fall down your cheeks until you felt the pillow under you become wet, making you wipe your face with the back of your hand. your eyes eventually grew heavy as you drifted off to sleep.

tom walked into the apartment a little while later, kicking his nikes off at the door and putting the keys onto the dining room table. he grew confused as you weren’t at your usual spot at the table, quickly putting the eggs back before putting your coffee on the table next to your computer. as he did, another ping sounded from it, the screen turning back on. he watched as the email you had read sat in front of him.

he wasn’t one for snooping in your stuff, but you did leave it open, and he was a curious person by nature.

he read over the same email you had read, sighing after. he closed the laptop, pushing it back to the middle of the table before making his way down the hall, slowly making his way to your cracked open door.

he peeked in, pushing the door open wide enough to fit his face. he spotted you lying on the bed, face squished against a pillow. he felt his heart break for you as he noticed the small wet spot where your tears had landed, causing him to move into the room. he carefully got into the bed, covering you with the throw blanket that you placed at the end of the bed.

you nuzzled into him in your sleep, head moving to his chest. he wrapped an arm around you, securing you in that spot. he kissed the top of your head.

“it’s okay,” he mumbled,”they don’t deserve you anyway.”

you hummed back in response, causing him to let out a chuckle as you fell back asleep in his arms. when he was sure you were asleep, he leaned down and kissed your head. the words he whispered were as soft as a feather, but you somehow managed to hear him.

“i love you.”

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cripple-cryptid · 4 years

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Getting To Know Me (Again)

It’s been a long time since I’ve really made a serious post that was well thought out and also like, a full update. It’s been a long time since I’ve even really just made a literal “Life Update” as well. So I guess this is a good time. I think it’s important because this blog has changed quite a bit in the past few years, and I think that I need to just make some things clear. This is probably going to get long, and heavy, but I think this is important, and I’m hoping that maybe I can help people in the future after I get this taken care of. Fair Warning: I am literally the worst at organizing this sort of thing, but I would really appreciate it if you read it the whole way through because it would mean a whole lot to me.

Hello. My name is Sava. I’m 22 years old. I’m a transmasculine Agender individual, and my preferred pronouns are They/He. Truthfully, I don’t mind other pronouns as long as they are not She/Her. I am a trans person, and I experience dysphoria. I’m planning on getting top surgery and HRT at some point in my life. I don’t know when, but I hope that it will be soon. I’m also Asexual, and Aromantic. I’m sex repulsed, and romantically indifferent. I am polyaffectionate (thanks to @aromanticpolyamory for the flag on this one, and coining the term as far as I’m aware?) and I have two partners. I love them both very much, with all my heart, even when I am an AroAce. So in summary, I’m a polyaffectionate Triple A (thank you @aro-ace-agender-space for the beautiful Triple A Pride Flag once again I literally love it to death)

I am also disabled. Mentally, and physically. I went most of my life undiagnosed, however I have been tested repeatedly for various things since I was a small child. I was always disregarded, and never got a proper diagnosis for my mental illnesses until I was 17. My physical ailments were ignored and went unnoticed until I was an adult, and I still am working towards a true understanding of what is going on. I am an amalgamation of many things, both mentally and physically, and it is a very long and frustrating process. Everything from my Depression, PTSD, and various other mental illnesses mix with my hEDS, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Migraines, and Insomnia. New symptoms are cropping up, as well as potential new problems. There are many things that make sense to me now that I look back on how I grew up. My old injuries make sense. My weird allergies make sense. Some of the things that I seemed to have inherited from my parents now make sense. But now that I’m older, I’m starting to learn. I have tools, braces, and mobility aids that make life easier. I finally decided that meds are a smart idea, so doing the responsible thing is starting to pay off. I hope.

I’m...not the same person I was when I first joined this site 10 years ago. I was innocent, misguided, selfish, manipulative, lazy, and bigoted. I did nothing to change my views, and didn’t really allow anyone to educate me on things that I did not realize were actually important. I was ableist, somehow sexist and misogynistic, and downright stupid. Despite all this, I thought I was right in all the wrong ways, and never tried to properly justify any of my points. And this is where everything changes.

I am going to put a warning here now. These are my beliefs, and If I receive any hate in my messages or in my askbox because of what I am about to say, I’m not even going to answer them. I am entitled to my opinion, and you are to yours. If I am threatened, I will report the threats. And that is that.

You are allowed to self Dx. I’m not going to say that it’s better than a professional diagnosis 100% of the time, but some people are not capable of getting a professional Dx at that point in their lives. Sometimes, it’s the start of the journey towards finding answers, and that is why I support it. You do not need dysphoria to be trans. Now mind you, I am referring to the umbrella term here. I feel that sometimes, you don’t agree with the identity that you were assigned with at birth, and that it can cause a serious disconnect. This can apply to many different identities, whether that is genderfluidity, gender neutrality, or another identity, it is not for me to say. I am not in charge of your body, you mind, and how your autonomy works. I know that people will argue with me on this, but I think the most important thing is that we all need to support each other in the community, regardless of what labels we use. It’s a journey of self discovery, and sometimes, labels change. It’s okay. I love you no matter what. Aspec People belong in the LGBT+ community. I’m not going to expand on this because I don’t have to. There is plenty of history that you can look up for yourself on the internet, and I don’t have to justify myself. Your spiritual beliefs (or lack thereof) are yours to practice, and I’m not going to shame you for them. I have my own beliefs, and I’m not going to shove them down your throat. I’m not going to tell you that you’re going to hell. I’m not going to try to “convert” you. I’m going to respect you to the best of my ability, and if I need clarification on anything, I will try my best to make sure that I do not overstep any boundaries. I will not shame you for your body, no matter how you look or how it works. It is not my place to tell you how to look, how to dress, or how to take care of yourself. I love you and I hope that you can love yourself, too. Abled people do not have a say in how to treat disabled bodies. You do not know our pain and you have not gone through the same journies that we have. This goes the same for neurotypical people and speaking for neurodivergent people. We know ourselves better than you ever could. POC voices are the only voices that matter on topics that relate to their struggles. White voices hold no weight because we know nothing about what we are saying. BLACK LIVES MATTER. FOREVER.

There are many topics that I have not addressed here, but I cannot think of many more at this current moment. I’m considering making some sort of masterpost, or fixing up my FAQ later on to better address all these things later on. But I have more that I need to and want to say in this post, and I need to move on.

It’s been a long time, and things change. I have changed. This blog has changed many times. I will probably be revamping the appearance of the blog soon as well. so I decided that this long post is a good time to say the things that I need to say.

I want to help people. I might be a bit of a grump, and sometimes, I’m a bit of a wild card when it comes to things that I’ve posted in the past (read as: I’ve posted some really dark shit because I’ve been in some really dark places in the past). I don’t know everything, but I still want to be here to help others. I want to be here for people that are struggling with pain, and need some help. I want to be here for people that are hurting and don’t know how to start the process of healing. I want to be here for people that maybe don’t have the capability to get the help that they need, because they will never have the chance. I want to be the friend that I never had when I was younger. If I can do that, I’ll be happy. This might just be wishful thinking, but I really do want to be a bigger voice in the disabled community, in the mental health community, and in the LGBT+ community. I want to be part of something bigger.

So once again I will say: I’m Sava. I’m 22. I’m a triple A. I’m polyaffectionate. I’m disabled. And I want to help others and make a difference.

#spoonie #disabled #chronic illness #chronic pain #neurodivergent #self care #l!fe #me #long post #LGBT+#aroace #asexual #aromantic #agender #polyaffectionate #trans #cane user #wheelchair user

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