#if I ever get a long running book series approved kill me before I end up even a quarter as insane
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What is it about any long-running sci-fi or fantasy series that makes it just go completely batshit off the rails eventually, I swear to god?
#Anti-Dresden Files#technically#because hoo boy what I'm reading about the books I didn't read after Ghost Story#Christ on a bike#What the hell has Butcher been smoking?#Seriously#if I ever get a long running book series approved kill me before I end up even a quarter as insane
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MC Has a Terrible Day
Sooo I had a series of bad days. This is for anyone else in the same boat, have some comforting demons. 😙~✨
Thank you for your patience to anyone who has requested something recently. I’ll get to requests again shortly, I just wasn’t in a great headspace.
It all started in the morning. You heard loud banging so you rolled over to look at the door.
“We’re leaving in five minutes MC!” Mammon called and you could hear him walking down the hall.
“Five minutes, huh?” You rolled to your back and blinked. “FIVE MINUTES?!” Without thinking, you jumped up and started stripping your pajamas off. You ran into the bathroom to quickly clean your face, apply deodorant, and begin brushing your teeth.
You went back out to your room with your toothbrush still in your mouth. While buttoning up your school shirt, you went over to check your phone. You leaned down to press the home button with your nose, no response. You tried again and nothing. Once you had finished buttoning your shirt, with one hand brushing your teeth, the other tried to turn on your phone. No response again meant it was dead.
“Of course,” you rolled your eyes, no power, no alarm. You threw the phone and charger in your backpack, maybe during lunch you could find an outlet to charge it.
You went back to the bathroom to spit out the toothpaste. Most likely four of the five minutes had passed already so you grabbed your tie and draped it around your neck to tie later. You snatched your uniform jacket and backpack as you slipped on your shoes and ran out the door.
~
Although the brothers gave you some odd looks, Lucifer was the only one to speak on your state of dress. “I’ll be sure to look decent by the time we arrive at school,” you were pushing out Asmo and Mammon who were your chaperones for the morning commute today. Once through the door you sighed and Asmo giggled.
“What happened, love?”
“I overslept.” You bit the handle of your backpack while you put on your jacket. Then you threw on your backpack to start with your tie. It wasn’t the easiest without a mirror but you thought you had it pretty close from muscle memory.
“Oi,” Mammon snickered, “I don’t know how, but you tied it upside down.”
With a groan you undid it. You decided to take a second to run your fingers through your hair to fix it and get it out of your face.
“Let me, MC,” Asmo offered. He popped your collar and walking backwards, he deftly tied the knot.
“Thanks Asmo,” You folded down the collar and began with the buttons and belt on your jacket. These uniforms are a nightmare on their own. You felt a tug backwards and looked over your left shoulder.
Mammon blushed, “Your half cape was twisted up.”
“Thanks guys,” you sighed, “hopefully the rest of the day goes better than this morning.”
~
It did not.
The only good thing seemed to be that you passed Lucifer’s uniform check when he passed you in the hall. He nodded and continued on with Diavolo.
Your first class was reviewing homework but when you opened your backpack, you couldn’t find your folder. You groaned internally, picturing your folder exactly where you left it on your desk in your room and began writing down the answers to review later.
In the next class, there was an assignment due to be handed in but it was also in your folder at home. When the teacher got to you, all you could do was shake your head no and it killed you knowing it was done, just not here.
Unfortunately with over sleeping, you didn’t have time for breakfast in the morning so as lunch time approached, you were getting hungrier and more distracted.
Lunch finally came and you were starving. The menu had something that you were familiar with and you were looking forward to a warm meal. You opened your backpack to look for your wallet with your prepaid cafeteria card. Once you shuffled your books around and still didn’t find it, you sighed. Of course, you left your wallet at home. Dejectedly, you moved to a table against a wall where you knew an outlet would be. You plugged your phone in and put your head down on the table.
“MC~!” The sing-song call of your name made you sit up. Simeon smiled at catching your eye. The rest of Purgatory Hall was in tow and they all took seats around you at the table; Luke sat next to you, Simeon across from you and Solomon across from Luke.
“Hello,” you offered the group.
“Were you napping?” Luke asked.
“Ah, no. Just recharging a bit,” You ruffled his hair with a smile.
“We can watch your stuff if you want to go up and get your lunch,” Solomon offered.
“I actually forgot my card at home and I don’t have any Grimm on me.”
“So you’re not going to eat?” Simeon looked surprised.
“If I don’t have any money, what can I do besides wait until after school to eat at HOL?”
“Don’t we have that Student Council meeting today?” Luke asked to confirm with the group.
Solomon nodded his head, “Yes, the exchange students have to be there as reps to approve new motions.”
“Ugh,” you buried your face in your backpack, “I completely forgot.” That meeting could be a couple hours depending on how many motions to be reviewed. Your stomach growled just thinking about how long it would be until you could eat.
“Here,” Simeon spoke first and you looked up to him pushing his tray towards you.
“Oh it’s ok Simeon, I’ll be fine, thank you but you shouldn’t have to go without.”
“I insist!” Simeon clearly wasn’t going to take no for an answer.
“How about we split it?”
He blushed and nodded, “Ok! I’ll get you a set of silverware.”
Once he was walking away, Luke offered, “Here MC,” he pushed some candy into your hand, “for later since you’ll probably be hungry before the meeting with eating only half a lunch.”
“Thank you, Luke.”
“MC,” Solomon asked for your attention, “You can have my drink. This one came with the lunch set but I’m not fond of the flavor.”
Simeon came back and handed the fresh silverware to you with a smile.
“Thank you for looking out for me,” you looked around the table.
“Of course! Us exchange students have to stick together!” Luke accepted for all of them.
The rest of you smiled and laughed. Simeon split the bread in half and you two shared the plate. You left a little more for him before claiming you were full so he could finish it off.
~
Your last classes were fine except for the amount of homework they assigned. Each teacher gave at least an hour’s worth of work on top of the long term assignments they already had going.
Last on your agenda was this Student Council meeting. Luke was right and you were hungry so you popped a candy in your mouth while you waited for the members to assemble. When he entered, you waved at Luke and brought the candy to the front of your mouth to hold with your front teeth in a smile. He snickered as he took his seat.
There were only three things to review so the meeting was relatively short. Even so, you were exhausted, it felt like you were running on empty. Getting off on the wrong foot at the beginning of the day made you feel like you were trying to play catch up. You still had the walk home and homework to deal with too.
Beel and Belphie were your walk home companions but they ended up walking next to each other leaving you to follow behind. You trudged your way home, the weight of the day slowing you down. Passing through the entrance of HOL felt like a relief to at least be home. You waved to Beel and Belphie and made a straight shot to your room. Once inside you dropped your backpack, rolled your eyes at the books and folder on your desk that should have gone to school with you and fell face first on your bed. You needed some time to just unwind before even beginning to think about your homework.
~
Through some herculean effort you managed to finish your homework before dinner. You were tired but content as you ate. The brothers were as lively as ever so you didn’t need to provide much to the conversation.
While everyone was clearing the table, you sought out your favorite demon.
Belphegor
He had already gone to the attic so you climbed the stairs and knocked on the door.
Belphie opened the door and at first he just stared at you.
You stared back, not really sure what to say to him.
He shrugged and stepped aside to let you into the room.
Without a word, you walked in and collapsed into his bed. You took a deep breath thankful to be finally done with the day.
Belphie chuckled and copied you, when he collapsed on the bed, it made you bounce a bit.
“You know I’d never question a good cuddle session.” He wrapped his arms around you and you scooted closer to him, but he left the question unsaid allowing you to choose if you wanted to share why you were seeking him out.
You confessed as you held him tighter, “I had a bad day.”
After, you described the terrible highlights from beginning to end, Belphie listening and humming acknowledgements. You were surprised you hadn’t lost him to sleep half way through.
“It doesn’t sound all bad,” Belphie offered.
You backed up and gave him a questioning look.
“Well you didn’t get in trouble with Lucifer, he would have definitely strung us up for something like that.”
“I guess.”
“Even the scummiest of my brothers helped you start the day.”
“Yeah, though they aren’t scummy.”
“Right, right.” Belphie laughed, “The other exchange students were looking out for you too.”
“That’s true… where is all this positivity coming from?” You gave his side a pinch, “Who are you and what did you do with my Avatar of Sloth?”
“I don’t know, some human has been rubbing off on me I guess,” Belphie yawned.
“Sounds like some kind of good influence or something,” You giggled as you snuggled back into him, ready to end the day by his side.
Beelzebub
You took your plate into the kitchen where you knew he would be.
“Are you still hungry?”
The question threw you for a loop. You had just finished dinner. “No, I had enough.” You laughed while patting your stomach and putting your plate in the sink.
He was rummaging in the fridge for a post-dinner snack himself.
You jumped to sit on the counter, just watching him had a calming effect, Beel was gonna be Beel.
He noticed you staring, “Are you sure? You didn’t eat much for dinner.”
“I’m alright, thanks though.”
Beel paused, he didn’t seem satisfied with the way you answered and nodded to himself. He changed gears and opened a cabinet instead.
You were curious what he decided on eating until you recognized the box. “Are those-”
“Mhmm, they’re chocolates from the Human Realm, the ones you had mentioned last time we took a trip.”
“Beelzebub, the Avatar of Gluttony, was hiding food?” You smirked.
He offered the box to you shyly, “I almost ate them once in a frenzy but reminded myself I got them for you. Afterwards I asked Lucifer to put a spell on it so only you could open them.”
You reached out to accept the box and he pulled it away. Shocked, you looked up at him.
“But if you’ve had enough to eat…”
“There’s always room for chocolate!” You defended.
Beel chuckled as he surrendered the package. He joined you to sit on the counter as you went to open them, excited to see the contents himself.
“Why are you giving these to me now?”
He shrugged, “I got them for you, I thought I would save them for a special occasion, but you looked like you needed it today.”
You leaned your head on his shoulder, “I did, thanks.” You popped a chocolate in your mouth and it melted just like your stress from the day. Then you laughed at the loud gulp to your side, “Do you want a piece?”
Beel nodded enthusiastically and opened his mouth for you to feed him.
Asmodeus
Asmo always welcomed an after-dinner visit to his room. You didn’t typically take him up on the offer so he was interested in what changed today.
“MC!” He grabbed your wrist and pulled you into his room and shut the door, “What’s the special occasion that brings you by?”
You smiled but it didn’t quite make it to your eyes, Asmo noted. “I just wanted to bask in your beauty,” you joked.
“Ha ha,” Asmo rolled his eyes, “but for real, what’s up?”
You looked away debating on how to answer, you had thought that maybe Asmo would be just the distraction you would need to forget the day you had.
With a sigh, you admitted, “I had a really bad today… but you always seem to know how to make me feel better, so I guess…”
“Aw MC!” Asmo gathered you into a hug. Softer, he added, “I’m sorry you had a bad day.”
You hugged him back, already feeling some of your energy being restored. “Thanks, I know everyone has bad days… it just sucks.”
“It does, and just because everyone has them, doesn’t minimize your bad day to be insignificant. Do you want to talk about it?”
“Sure,” you released him and pulled him to sit down on the end of his bed.
You reviewed everything after oversleeping.
“You were really going to skip lunch?” Asmo asked with a squeeze of your hand.
“Well yeah, I didn’t have any way to pay for a meal and I’m certainly not sneaky enough to dine and dash in the cafeteria.”
“You should have called me! Or one of my brothers! I bet you could even get Mammon, the cheapskate, to pay for your lunch if you asked. You shouldn’t go without a meal, it’s not good for your health,” he whined as he now played with your hand.
“It’s alright, it worked out somehow.”
“I’m kind of jealous of you and Simeon splitting a meal though,” Asmo puffed out his cheeks.
“Who are you jealous of exactly?” You teased and poked his puffed cheek.
He giggled, “I’ll never tell!”
It was your turn to laugh, “I’m gonna tell Simeon!” you got up and pulled out your phone.
“Wait, no! Don’t!” He chased you to try to snatch your phone away, both laughing.
Satan
You knocked on his door lightly. He was either here or in the HOL’s library. If he wasn’t in then you’d just go to bed.
The door cracked open and you could hear Satan call from further inside, “Come in!”
You were careful with opening the door so as to not hit any piles of books that may be behind. “I’m sorry for bothering you!” You called back to him, wherever he may be.
With a pop of magic, he appeared behind you, “You’d never bother me.” He snickered at your shock.
You lightly hit his chest but smiled seeing his enjoyment. Your hand lingered on him and focused on playing with the fabric to avoid his gaze.
“Something wrong?” He raised his hand to hold the back of yours.
“It’s…” you were going to say nothing but you couldn’t bring yourself to lie. You leaned forward so your forehead rested on his clavicle. “It’s been a long day.”
The fact that you almost never admitted to your more negative feelings was not lost on him, especially since he is guilty of the same. “Oh? Do you want to talk about it?”
“It’s alright,” with a shake of your head you sighed and started preparing yourself to push Satan away, “it was just a regular old bad day.”
And although you hadn’t really stepped back yet, Satan felt you move to be at an arm’s length. You started back physically and he knew a window was closing. Without another thought he pulled you in close.
You giggled but returned the hug, “Satan?”
“I’m sorry you had a bad day.” He gave you a squeeze, “do you want to stay the night?”
Maybe today wasn’t all bad. With a content sigh you nodded, “If that’s ok with you?”
“You’re always welcome.”
He picked up that you were looking to be physically close so he set himself up on the bed and you crawled in after him. You settled your head on his chest and his hand came up to stroke your hair absentmindedly. With his free hand he held a book.
“Can you read to me?”
“It’s not exactly a bedtime story,” he laughed and you relished the way it sounded through his chest.
“That’s alright, I just want to hear your voice, it’s very calming.”
Well that’s a first, the Avatar of Wrath, calming? He laughed and you smiled.
Leviathan
You had caught him in the hallway on the way back to his room.
He hadn’t seen you yet and he had his headphones on watching something on his phone.
Feeling mischievous, you snuck up behind him and pat his back. Levi jumped, yanked his headphones off, and turned quickly to see you smiling at him, proud of your little spook.
“Geez MC!” His hand went to his chest, “You gave me a heart attack!”
“Sorry,” you giggled, walking beside him. “What were you watching?”
He launched into an in-depth review, usually you’d listen more closely to provide some kind of unique perspective but today all you could manage was nodding and some sounds of acknowledgement. After the day you had, it was comforting seeing Levi in his element so you let his enjoyment radiate to you.
“Hello? MC?” Levi waved a hand in front of your face. “Are you listening?”
“Ah sorry, I zoned out there. Your face when you were talking was really cute.” You figured it would fluster him to distract him and you were right.
His face blushed deep red as he stuttered your name.
You smiled, Levi will always be Levi. You walked in front of him, leading him to his room.
“H-hey!” Levi called, you half-turned to look at him, “Is something the matter?”
You were actually a little surprised he had picked that up and it made your smile falter.
He looked down with disgust, “Is it because I was going on about gross otaku shit?”
“No,” You answered. He wasn’t looking at you so you stepped back toward him and headbutted his chest.
He tensed up but didn’t withdraw completely.
With a sigh you admitted, “I had a rough day at school, I’m sorry I made you feel like it was because of you.”
Levi shifted and you thought he was going to move away but instead he wrapped an arm around your back and started rubbing a circle.
You looked up at him and he was back to being a blushy mess.
Mammon
You actually didn’t have to search him out since he was already walking you back to your room.
Mammon was recapping his day and he actually had a pretty good one. He got a good fill of breakfast before Beel cleaned them out, he got a passing grade on a test he was dreading and avoided Lucifer’s ire the entire afternoon. He was positively glowing.
If you hadn’t been worn down by the day you had, you would be over the moon for him as well but it still brought a smile to your face, his happiness was infectious. “That’s amazing Mammon, I’m really proud of you.”
He blushed at the praise but became serious, “You feeling ok?”
“Mhmm,” you nodded and turned to open your door.
“Are you sure?” Mammon confirmed.
“I’m just tired is all,” the day was finally over, besides entertaining Mammon. You rubbed your face to try and wipe some of the weariness away.
“Rough day?”
“I guess yeah, but it’s alright,” You offered a smile.
Mammon reached out and instinctively you leaned into his touch. You felt the warmth of his palm radiate through your cheek, complimented by the smooth feel of his rings. You hummed a sigh and closed your eyes to savor the tender moment.
“You know,” he started and you peeked your eyes open, “if someone’s giving you a hard time, I could take care of them.”
You laughed, “Even if it was Lucifer?”
He gulped, “Is it?”
“No, just wanted to see what you would do,” you teased and stuck out your tongue.
“I’d handle it, even if it was Lucifer!” Mammon pinched your cheek.
“Ow,” you said more out of habit than actual pain, “too bad you can’t beat up a bad day.”
“I could try!” He puffed out his chest.
Shaking your head, you giggled and leaned your head onto his puffed chest. “Thanks Mammon.”
He tugged you into a tight hug, “I’d do anything to keep hearing your laugh.”
Lucifer
His office door was closed. You knew that meant he was busy with something serious.
If it wasn’t serious then he usually left the door ajar, a silent invitation that guests were welcome.
You walked up to the door and seriously debated knocking.
He did say if you ever needed anything you could always come to him but one bad day didn’t feel like it stacked up to the duties that Lucifer could possibly be working on at that moment.
While leaning your forehead on the cool door you pretended it was his chest. You took an exaggerated breath in, gathering up your strength and hoping to pick up some of Lucifer’s strength too, and turned to head back to your room for the night.
“MC?” Lucifer called, you hadn’t heard the door open, “I thought I heard footsteps.”
“Oh, hi, I was just passing by,” you lied, “Busy night?”
“Yes,” Lucifer sighed and shook his head, “Diavolo wants to move up the next event which means contacting all the vendors to reschedule and refiling all the permits with the new dates.”
“Sounds rough,” you were somewhat pleased you had guessed correctly earlier but hated to see his frustration, against the protest of every cell in your body you asked, “Is there anything I can do to help you?”
He thought for a moment, “Yes actually, come here?” He extended his hand.
You took it and sighed; more work wasn’t exactly how you wanted to end this terrible day but if you could help relieve some of Lucifer’s unhappiness then maybe it wouldn’t be too bad.
Lucifer first pulled you into the room and then pulled you into a hug.
“What-”
“You looked like you needed a hug.” He admitted with a light blush tinting his ears.
“Well, thank you,” you melted into his hold, it was firm and warm and felt like sunshine after a storm.
“Is everything ok?” Lucifer looked slightly concerned, “You were pretty quiet at dinner too.”
“I feel better now,” you tighten your grip on him trying to stop him from pulling away.
He still did slightly, “You know I’m always here for you, right?”
“Of course,” you confirmed with a smile, “it was just a bad day, it sounds like you’re having one of those too. Let’s get to that paperwork.”
Lucifer chuckled, “To be honest, the help I wanted from you was the hug. I’m glad it could make both of us feel better,” and he embraced you once more.
#obey me#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me scenarios#I guess my take away is that even on your worse days there is always someone that cares about you#it doesn't even have to be someone you can see#maybe an old friend still thinks about you or a coworker wishing you well#idk the world is full of hate and chaos but there are bits that make it worth it
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Why Tommy is one of THE BEST written characters in existence.
Alright, that’s it
Here I give you my fuckin Take on why Tommy is one of the best written characters out there and can easily compete with best-selling Novels like Percy Jackson and Harry Potter. I’m sick of a trashing that doesn’t even make sense. So buckle up. Here I will tell you why Tommy has one of the best written characters in history of Books and Movies. Remember, I write this all in my perspective and take many examples of other character books as well
Before this all starts, I will also talk about the main characters of some series, since Tommy has the reputation of being a “main” character.
When I look at the books I’ve read, I see a large range of characters and there way of making the story interesting.
Now, to establish a good character, we need key points of motivations, to make them relatable and bla bla blub:
Personality
Part of the story
Their Powers
Flaws
Relationships
Prized Possessions
History/the backstory
The moral and story the character tells
First tho, I want to explain some words I’m going to use here!
Mary Sue/Gary Stu:
Those are characters who are flawless, have missing chunks of personality and mostly one way written. They are easy to achieve when you are trying to make your character look badass.
Examples in some Fandoms are
· Rey Skywalker (Star Wars Sequels 7-9)
· Hermione Granger (Harry Potter Movies)
· Bella Swan (Twilight)
Tree-System:
Imagine a tree.
You plant something small and soon you have something giant with many branches, roots and connections.
You have the seed you plant and with caring and care you let it grow. Then you have somewhat a sapling. The tree grows with the care and soon you have a tree with many branches.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Personality
Negative:
Tommy’s personality is very brash and out of control =
He’s barely containable in fights, going off to do his own risky plans and starting two or so fights. He can’t forgive a person very easily like Eret, who took it a long time to get forgiveness and Techno, as he shot Tubbo at the Festival. He makes decision that also cost his life like the duel because he hates losing
Tommy can be very lazy, giving the thought he wouldn’t have to do the hard work =
Shown when he tries to steal the hearts of seas from Eret or potions from Techno, bargain with “drugs” by Puffy and Ponk or gives other people the work he doesn’t want to do like he did with getting cobblestone
Like a child, he often clings to close people and annoys others for attention =
His desperate attempts to have company or someone praising him shows, when he tries to get Philza’s approval (or a pat on the back), constantly looking out, if Tubbo’s either okay or where his is,
He doesn’t like to wait or doing things in the long run =
He constantly asks when something is finished, when they could go or in his exile, when he was allowed to go back to L’Manburg
He doesn’t show often his cooled down, scared and vulnerable side =
He often overshadows his trauma with a facade of jokes and bad hidden hurt he brings out. When he talks about something bad, he’s clearly confused, not really knowing on how to understand it. Also he runs away from things he can’t control a panic attack like visiting the final control room or looking away from the holes in Logstedshire
He runs without head into a battle so often as possible =
Only when they had their final showdown for the disc, Tommy was seen preparing in story, thinking it would be his last fight
---
Positive:
But as he has negative traits, his positive shows to many people clearly.
His unwavering loyalty to the closest of people =
His loyalty to Tubbo, Wilbur And L’Manburg are, were and always will be a part of him. He stands against anyone who goes against that, even if it means pain in many ways.
Passionate about dear projects of his =
You can see Tommy talking about his discs or see an video where he would spent days getting different discs. Those things are very known to be rare things, so for Tommy to possess it gives him somewhat power. L’Manburg was the same passion, even a bit more, as you can see he was ready to give up his most prized disk. The last and in the moment is his hotel
Bravery like no one makes him as one of the dangerous person on peoples hitlist =
He stands up for others. He stood up to L’Manburg. He in the end didn’t care that he lost a life. When he sees a foe, he won’t stand down and submit, he will fight against the oppression and tell them that in the face. During the mission to get a visa, he stood against Schlatt, even if they were clearly in the loose of people and disadvantage. Or getting an apology of Sapnap for killing Niki’s fox. Fighting against 5 people with just one ally while the other is a hostage.
His leadership =
There are not many people who can take it up, but Tommy is an exception. He can coordinate people with his loud voice and somewhat thought plans. He is charismatic, even if he’s not so good at it like Wilbur, he still can motivate people to fight for themselves or others. He’s seen to lead others into battle and taking in the fighting part a leading role
Unselfish. That’s one of the most arguable things about Tommy`s character =
You can´t look at a kid and say he is selfish because he wants to get something dearly back. Especially Tommy, after he gave the things up, he cared about. But if something is happening again, he will lay it down to do the other thing. As seen by the egg, he had a hard time thinking what to do. He, in a long time, didn’t want to be catalyst for something to happen. Not when he in the moment could have stopped it. So doing this act for himself ones, was a good decisions, since they clearly weren’t ready for war
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part of the Story
Outside of the story:
Let’s all just get something “straight”. What would Dream SMP without Tommyinnit.
Now. Don’t get me wrong. All the creators on the SMP are amazing. They are all wonderful and deserve every bit of Attention and fame they get. But just imagine.
We heard from Tubbo, he was the one, who got him into the SMP. Schlatt and Wilbur came because of a “visit”. Quackity was added because TOMMY said he was bored. And from that, we got somewhat of a tree system. As Tommy was invited and drawn into conflict by Sapnap (shoutout to best boy!), he got more people.
He also has the highest viewership and kind of shortest streams, since he is doing college next to Youtube and Streaming. He can’t give up his high viewers since all of those 200.000 (average) – closing 650.000 People (doing something like a big lore stream in prison or the disc final), choose to watch him.
Also a reminder again, Tommy has his storyline as does everyone else. When we saw Tommy and Techno during the partner up arc doing something with the dogs, they saw the start of the red vines arc BUT said they were on the wrong storyline. Tommy was asked by the eggpire writers if he wanted to be a part of the story and he said yes. Why do you think he nearly says nothing about the egg. He leaves it to the writers. Also, it was said by one of Wilbur’s Character descriptions, that Tommy was okay with others doing something with his character, while Techno was more reluctant with his.
Let me say it again, every creator is awesome and individual! Nobody should be compared to others. But with Tommy coming to the Dream SMP, there really was a change in the game.
Remember, that’s because we also have a BT (before Tommy) and AT (after Tommy) Timestamp in the wiki!
Inside of the story:
Now, with Sapnap, Alyssa, Ponk and Tommy in the first ever big conflict its shown the importance. People assume Tommy is one of the conflict bringers, even though he was dragged in it by having something stolen by Sapnap and then forced to fight with him, to get it back.
The Consequences he’s got where having his discs get stolen. This is what Tommy’s biggest character motivation was the first two seasons. Those discs are known on the server and when you think about gifting something to C!Tommy, it would be a disc.
Techno = Disc Wait
Badboyhalo = Disc Pigstep, Chirp
HBomb = Disc Pigstep, Wait
Tubbo = Stal
LazarBeam = Far
Tommy is a openminded boy who longs for funny little adventures and pranks, since he is just a young person. It’s in his nature.
So why, when he does something, are people looking on him?
Because the things he was and is a part of some of the biggest events. And him being so loud and brave and rash lets him stand out. If you look at the old (hah) Revolution of L’Manburg, who can you hear talking the most and the loudest? Tommy and Dream. They were the most outgoing about the war with Sapnap, Tubbo and Wilbur following. Fundy was more quieter (thankfully he has so much more lore now).
Tommy’s character is known to fall or be dragged head first in almost every conflict. He has connections to who? Mostly everybody. So of course he’s connected big parts to the stories.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Powers
Okay. Every “main” character or character with huge importance to the story has some kind of power. Looking at Dream, who is a “demigod” or Ranboo who I don’t even have to talk about. So what about Tommy?
Well. He doesn’t have any. Tommyinnit is one of the people, we get to have as an “human” character
Hannah = nature “Spirit”
Karl Jacobs = Timetraveller
Antfrost, Technoblade, Ranboo, Fundy = Hybrids
Dream = Something something green blob
Awesamdude, Puffy, Philza, Sapnap, Eret, Schlatt = Adding Features (wings, eyes, body parts)
Badboyhalo, Skeppy = completely different species apparently
Tommy has, as we know of the moment, a not confirmed power. The assumptions of the egg are not clear, since we haven’t seen those interact in a while. All we know is, Tommy didn’t get hurt, destroying a part and not feeling anything, while being in contact. That in canon considered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Flaws
As talked before in personality and also in an assumption, we see the pattern of loyalty and brashness repeating.
Flaws are the most important parts of a character. It shows the struggle of their adventure and learning how to live with it.
Percy Jackson learned loyalty is nothing, if you don’t have someone to project it on.
Harry Potter and Luke Skywalker learned being a hot head didn’t really bring him forward and it’s important to have a plan
Frodo Beutlin learned that it is okay taking care of yourself and what attachment means
Anakin Skywalker learned fear is controllable and it shouldn’t be a remaining part of your life
Tommy learned over the time that his rashness could hurt others, loyalty couldn’t come back to him like he gave it out and he learns even more in the coming future.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Relationships
Tommy’s relationships is a mess of strings. Some are badly knotted and some are very clear.
A characters connections is an important part for the character himself.
Relationships in life are
· Enemies(-figure)
· Rivals(-figure)
· Friends(-figure)
· Family(-figure)
· Lover(-figure)
· Complicated family(-figure)
· Complicated friend (-figure)
Relationships are a part of everyone’s life. Not with everybody is a good relationship holdable. Either it’s because their hurting each other or another person. People change and that’s a part of life.
Tommy realized, even tho it hurt, that Techno wasn’t good for his mental state and health. It went against everything Tommy ever stood for.
And Tommy and Tubbo’s relationship wasn’t really that broken. It’s normal for friends to fight. Normal for them hit their heads in. Tommy and Tubbo were surrounded with people who were, at the time, a terrible addition to their mental life.
The Dream SMP doesn’t talk it out, hell the talking club was just destroyed because they preferred fists over words. So why do you think everything is going out with a fight, if it’s all they learned.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Priced Possessions
Every character has to something a connection.
Might it be Percy Jackson and his sword
Might it be Harry with his glasses, broomstick and wand
Frodo and his stupid ring
For Tommy we all know it’s his ender chest inside and secret chest. He keeps many belongings in his chests and always has been one for those things. He kept flowers, compasses, Friendship signs and most importantly, his discs.
The care for something of items are important. Might it be a teddy, old photo or jewelry. People get protective over it, because it holds sentimental value to the person.
If you ask me, to let go of my teddy bear, I will show you my middle finger. Probably beat you up too.
You can’t just throw out your memories into a fire or pit of lava. This is just showing you never had a care and everything you had a memory with it before would have been gone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
History/Backstory
We don’t have much here, but still something to work with.
A Hero doesn’t have an easy live. And it’s an said thing that every Hero needs an origin Story.
Tommy, said not really anything about his past.
All we know is that Tommy didn’t have anyone, presumably an Orphan, he knew the sleepy bois already a long time ago and he never learned on how to ride a bike, saying he never really had a family.
Signs that he didn’t even leave half a good life are:
· his knowledge on stealing and preferring this over working for it
· Liking to live in weird spaces like carved out holes in sides of hills (his hobbit hole or the basement by Techno) or living in his tent over a hole house
· His liking of cobblestone and dirt, which are easy gettable blocks
· Holding his goodies and friends close to him
· Craving for attention or contact in general
And now for the part with the dream SMP.
We saw how it changed him. We saw his trauma and all the bad things that happened to him.
And that’s why we say his actions came from those past experiences and things. We are NOT excusing them, but showing. Past trauma CHANGES a person. It brings experience and a heavy amount of pain and anger. ESPECIALLY at a young age, you will change due to your experience in life. You will grow worried and anxious. Tommy did that. He grew more anxious, angry, scared and also experienced.
Stop saying trauma doesn’t explain it. Yes. It does. His lashing out came from his past and negative experience. Imagine growing up in a world where this is the norm. War and banishing. As well as death. Tommy has reasons why he is acting and does stuff.
Understand it. You don’t have to forgive him or anything. But understand it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The moral and the story the character tells us
When we see Tommy, we see a boy who went nearly through it all. Mental/Physical Abuse, Abandonment, War, Suicidal thoughts, betrayal, Death, etc…
He doesn’t show forgiveness for his abuser. Still has signs, that he fights with the past abuse, but he tells us a story of learning from past mistakes, that even in the darkest hours, there’s a way out. Things will, can and be ugly and those are dark hours, but in no way should you think that it’s over. Life is more than one way and can always turn into a new direction.
Life takes something old away from you. Life gives you something new. You lose someone, you find someone new. Friends can turn into enemies. Enemies can turn into friends. You can meet the weirdest people. You can meet the most amazing people. You can be alone and in the next second, you’re not. You will often lose, but you also can win if you give everything.
Life can be weird and that’s okay.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Fazit (that’s german)
The thing is, he is very real for many viewers such as myself. He acts like how many teenagers his age reacts.
He doesn’t be “baby”, because he shows the “ugly” sides of trauma. He shows that attachments are good and you shouldn’t forgive your abuser. In no way. He shows that acting out and lashing out are two things that happen, when you have been in wars for many times and nearly just know that.
He has many flaws and mistakes but those make him even more real. He is showing how he is growing.
As a person, friend, (pseudo-)family.
He is real to many of the viewer since he doesn’t have any powers that are existing in our world to solve their problems. He knows that nobody would have helped him and Tubbo against Dream if he didn’t pay others.
Also that you can’t be friends with everyone and that it’s okay that not everybody likes you.
Tommy´s character is the most human and realistic character in a way of how we would react. We are humans who are lashing out and who are having ugly sides.
And also please stop saying that, since I really can relate to Tommy and I don’t want to be feeling like a “bad-written Character”…
And Don’t even get me started on Tommy’s acting dude!
He is one of the best actors and that one livestreams! In from off 200.000 – 600.000 People!
On the face cam alone is so much to see…
· You can see his face with each emotion shifting,
· when something funnily weird happens, he looks dead eyes in the camera
The voice acting…
· His breathing,
· the stuttering in his voice,
· THE GODDAMN EMOTIONS IN HIS FACE
HIS MUSIC CHOICE!
· He changes the music fitting for the situations as in fighting scenes or funny moments.
· He also has some funny bits with his music.
· Like a goddam DJ!
The ingame character
· His movements and head stares
· The jumping around when he gets overactive
· Long stops when he thinks or is sad!
You can see, I am a person from Tumblr and saw way too much bullshit around tommys character.
Stop critiquing him so badly.
You could say, I woke up and chose violence
>:D
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All You Had To Do Was Stay
Loki x Reader
1989, chapter 5
"They paid the price"
Summary: It's hard to find the one, but even if you do find him it's always going to be a daily struggle to make it work. Can you even make it work after he broke your heart? The answer to that is complicated, but it all started when you found each other again in the Stark tower- and that's where our story begins.
Word count: 4,539
Warnings: angst, Hydra, some blood, Loki being an asshole
A/N: what can you expect from track 5 other than angst?
A/N: a big thank you to @chrissquares for the amazing dividers! and @nacho-bucky for beta reading and putting up with me!
No one is allowed to repost my writing or steal or copy my work! Reblog on tumblr is fine.
Series masterlist
song on Spotify and YouTube
"Soon we'll be landing in another Hydra base." Steve gathered everyone then.
"Okay, Thor you will go with Natasha; Clint you're with Loki; Bucky you will be with Y/N." he hasn't talked to you since that midnight talk. You couldn't blame him, not completely.
The team separated inside the base, eyes searching for the unusual weapons. Lately the activities of Hydra have risen more and more. Their kills were certainly not of normal weapons, the wounds weren't all fatal but the innocents were killed nonetheless.
"We're on the east wing, Steve. According to the tech Bruce gave us, there's some activity where we are heading."
You and Bucky kept your guns up and at three you burst into the room. But it was empty to your surprise. Cautiously, you stepped inside and examined what you saw in there. Grenades and various arsenals were placed inside boxes, and some were outside on tables taken apart with tools besides them.
"Don't touch them, last time I did it exploded in my face."
"I'm not as stupid as you are, Y/N." maybe you could shoot him just to annoy him, you thought.
"Ah, so you found some of our weapons," the voice startled you. "Nice to see you again, Soldat."
Turning around with your weapons, you attempted to shoot the guys that walked in. The scientist in the middle was unarmed, or so you thought. The agents spread out, and at some point they overpowered you because the next thing you knew, your gun was nowhere to be seen, and your arms were pinned behind your back as the guy in front of you got closer.
You couldn't let him do that, now could you? You locked eyes with him until he got hazy and fell to the ground shaking. Knocking your head against the guy that was holding you back, giving you just enough view of him to send him off to the darkest place in his head, all the while you didn't notice the scientist watching you. When he fell to the floor, the scientist sent all the other guys over from Bucky to you, caging you in, you felt yourself being dragged out of the room, yelling for Bucky who was there with only a few agents and the scientists.
Bucky hurried for you but now he could see the strange weapon in the scientist's hand. It looked like a sword, with a gem at the bottom. He fought the scientist and anyone around him but then he felt a cutting wound where the blade pierced through his stomach.
"Sorry this had to end this way, Soldat." The scientist laughed and Bucky fell to the floor with a shriek.
You finally managed to break free from the guys holding you down. Fighting them off one by one, until you managed to get them all to fall down in pain, then you went on to Bucky.
You saw him on the ground bleeding, not even caring about the guys in the room as you fell next to him.
"We need backup, Bucky is down!" you yelled to the comms. You tried to stop the bleeding- it was faster than it should be for a supersoldier.
"This doesn't feel right Y/N, run."
"No." A guy went for you, and you noticed he was averting his gaze from you, but you didn't let it affect you, you surged forward from Bucky and tackled him down and sent him to sleep.
Then you went for the scientist which still held the weapon, now closed back in its place, as he looked at you amused.
"What did you do to him?" you yelled more than asked. Soon enough you heard footsteps and to your relief Bucky was now with Thor and Steve.
Loki looked at the soldier on the ground and then at the weapon he recognized. Worried, he yelled at you.
"Y/N stay in this room, do not leave!" he went forward with his daggers, cut through the agents until he got to the doctor who was trying to run. Catching him and knocking him out, he took away the old weapon. Then he left him there, not caring about him anymore.
Holding the delicate weapon, he went back to the fallen soldier who was still bleeding out.
The god crouched down next to him and a worried Steve and he pulled out the gem at the hilt of the sword, putting it over Bucky's wound. The soldier sighed in relief at the contact, and Loki muttered a quick incantation which helped the soldier heal.
The blonde looked frightened at his friend, who only nodded to Loki in thanks.
The scientist was long gone.
•
He started noticing the subtle change at lunch that day.
Thor had dragged him back to eat with all the others when he insisted on going back to his books. The others weren't as bothered with him today when he sat next to you, each minding their own business. Occasional loud conversations started which he stayed out of until he caught onto one conversation.
"I remember the first time I held a bow and arrow." Clint said before being shot off.
"Nah not interesting Katniss, I think my origin story is way better, I was in a cave!"
The table caught onto the conversation and the roars began.
"I got bitten by a spider!" Peter looked over at Tony. "That's pretty cool, right Mr. Stark?"
"Yeah kid, that is badass." Tony ruffled the kid's head.
"I'm a Russian spy, that's more badass!" Natasha quipped.
"The kid can lift an elephant and stop a vibranium arm!" Bucky chuckled.
"I was holding back, I wasn't going to punch a kid!"
"Sure you were." Peter blushed under the Sergeant's look. Tony just brought him in a side hug.
"Does a sad unwilling origin story count?" Bruce asked, cleaning his glasses.
"Do you really want to start this, Doc? I was drafted." Bucky snickered.
"In that area, Y/N has a good shot actually." You huffed at that.
"Understatement, I don't even know where these powers came from. My origin story is the only one that can make it to Buzzfeed Unsolved!"
"Add to that what happened at the start- now that was brutal."
You took a sip out of your glass and clanked it with Bucky and Bruce.
"Y/N, what are they talking about?" Loki leaned to whisper to you.
"Oh nothing, don't worry about it." She shrugged him off
"What about my brother? Why don't you join the conversation-" Thor put a hand on the younger brother's shoulder. The brother only scowled.
"Oh please, being a prince with magic, then wanting to take over New York and failing? I'd hardly call it a good competition to what we have here." You snorted. Silence spread over the room, you put your drink down and looked around confused. Some were looking at you, Natasha bit down on her tongue, the others were looking down uncomfortably. Wanda spoke up before you could question your team.
"Hey, mine is out of spite!" Wanda chimed in, her perky voice released the tension in the room. "I obviously win."
Loki remembered those days when he stayed even in the mornings and you would come back from work and tell him all about your day. You'd lay there on your couch or on a stool in the kitchen and you'll tell him all about your day until he eventually felt comfortable telling you all about his, letting you into his life.
Loki walked out of the elevator to your floor, annoyed that he couldn't just teleport himself to the door of your apartment.
He heard your voice telling him to come in after he knocked, turning the knob of the door, he walked in and saw you organizing the living room table with plates and drinks.
"What do we have here?" he nodded to the boxes lying on the bigger table. You chuckled as he closed the door and locked it.
"Well hello to you too, Loki." You looked around, biting your lip. "What do you mean?"
"Those boxes, what did you do?" he eyes them suspiciously as he sat down on the sofa.
"I got us Pizza?"
"A what?" he looked at you like a confused puppy and you hated how adorable he looked.
"You're joking, right?" you put one box on the table. "I know you're British or whatever, but are you seriously telling me that where you are from- they don't have Pizza? What kind of uncultured place do you come from?"
"Maybe I'll tell you another time." He grinned lowly, if only you knew.
He perked up as you opened the box and a welcoming smell filled the air.
"Loki, meet Pizza." You grinned at him and expectedly brought him one on a plate. "Come on, you're going to love it."
He certainly loved meeting you more and more, ever since you met he made sure to keep in touch- he even bought one of those cell phones. He didn't know what it was about you.
He learned that you always tell him the truth, and you certainly did with this food as well when he took a bite. It was different than anything he knew back from Asgard. Good type of different, if he was honest with himself then so were you.
He smiled at the proud grin you held for him when he voiced his approval.
You started to tell him about your day after that.
"Oh, also I just saw a picture of a baby bat, it was so cute." You shook your head fondly.
"I'm sorry, please continue what you were saying." He said after the silence that took over the room.
"Oh no, that was it." You laughed nervously at him, looking down at your drink.
"Why did you tell me that then?"
"Just because? Sometimes you can just talk about nothing at all with someone if you enjoy talking to them."
"So," he put a hand on the back of the sofa right next to you, turning his gaze onto you. "You're just talking to me, and telling me stuff with no meaning behind it?"
"Yeah, is that bad?" you couldn't look at him and he just looked at the floor in thought. Humans were certainly peculiar.
"No, it is not bad." You didn't question hid odd questions, but took comfort in his answer. The conversation returned to normal, and with time you started seeing him try to do the same. It was cute.
•
"We have enough power now, Sir. But we can get more." The head scientist and the other agents had escaped from the base with most of the important weapons.
"What are you suggesting?" the man sat on a chair, a delicate long staff rested on a pedestal in front of him.
"We can keep the asset to ourselves." The man on the chair raised an eyebrow at him. "Commander Iago please, let me explain!"
"Doctor Zazu, we cannot betray the one who provided us with such powerful weapons! We will be doomed."
"I saw the Soldat today. I remember working on him when I first joined here. He was marvelous, so obedient," the doctor drifted off for a bit. "But now, we can get a new Soldat, we can keep the asset for ourselves and make an ever better Soldat!"
"But what will we do with our provider? It will be breaking our agreement." Commander Iago raked his hand through his red hair.
"All these weapons are stolen! If we have the asset- we will be unstoppable!"
The commander thought about the prospect of having another winter soldier.
"Gwen," he called to a girl who quickly walked into the room, rushing. "Wake up the sleeper agent."
•
You curled the white sheets tighter around you when Loki got out of the bed. Prompting up on your elbow, you asked him
"Do you have to go? We can just sleep in for a few hours, or maybe like half the day?" you trying to tame your messy hair a bit.
"The sword must be put back in its place. I will be back shortly."
"Okay, if you say so." You put your head back on the pillow and Loki gently kissed your forehead, earning a content hum from you, and left the room.
He reentered your room that night, not surprised to find you asleep but rather glad, it gave him time. His mind travelled to earlier in the day, and his first day here.
You did tell him about your powers, after he experienced it first-hand. But it didn't make sense to him, he felt the power oozing from you yet none seem to have figured out the source he even doubted they could sense the power in you. He certainly would've glossed over it if he hadn't still remembered past you.
You laid there sleeping in peace when his mind was racing, and he couldn't hold himself back. He reached out for your powers, hoping that they will separate from you and not wake you up. Leaning back on the wall, he closed his eyes and sent himself into your head, connecting to your powers.
It was familiar, he sensed it overwhelming him the longer he tried to dive in. just when he thought he had it, just when the familiarity grew and he knew he was close to the very core of this power inside of you- it was as if he hit a blockade and was pushed out by an aggressive force. The next second you woke up with a gasp, your blurry vision faded out when you came back to reality and noticed Loki.
"Loki?" your heavy breaths filled the room until he answered.
"I'm here, are you okay?" he went towards the bed.
"Yes, just had a nightmare." You shook your head at the memories of the dark place.
"Why don't you go back to sleep, I'll join you in a bit." You were out soon enough, tiredness taking over you.
He hesitantly walked over to you, hand raised to rest on your forehead, but he pulled back with a hiss when he was being held back from touching you.
Reluctantly he walked over the other side of the bed, laying there on his back and staying away from you. Before he could fall asleep, you pulled him to you, wrapping your arms around him you laid your head on his chest.
•
"Hey, little guy." Sam snickered beside you. You hardly saw Steve these days, but you knew Sam just came back from an early run with him.
"I'm older than you!" Scott grunted when you found him in the kitchen.
"She called you tiny, tic-tac, not young."
"As far as I remember, my little ass beat your ass when we met." Your shocked look made Sam grumble and Scott laugh.
"You never told me that! Oh Scott tell me everything!" sitting next to him, he began to tell you the story.
"So, I have manners so I introduced myself obviously-" you nodded along.
"Okay, listen- you can tell her but no telling Cap, I'll never hear the end of it." Sam pointed a spoon at the man who only shrugged and threw you a side smile.
"So, I haven't seen you in a while. How is Cassie doing?"
"She is great, won at a spelling bee! She was so happy." His smile was contagious, whenever he talked about his daughter he wouldn't stop gushing, which was adorable. "Have you ever thought about it?"
"About what?"
"Settling down, having some normal between this hero stuff." He leaned on one hand, and you faltered a bit.
"No, I don't think that's my thing." Sam sat with his coffee in front of you.
The next minute Loki came into the kitchen too. You didn't have to look behind you, gauging by Scott's reaction the Asgardian god stood there in the kitchen.
He didn't bother making conversation with the mortal but rather taking a sit next to you, and kissing your temple. You averted your eyes from Scott who looked over at Sam now. Sam shook his head.
Clearing your throat, you tried to break the silence.
"Scott, did you meet Loki?" you didn't wait for an answer. "Thor and he are here helping us with Hydra."
"No, I can't say that I did."
"Where were you this morning? You never wake up that early." Loki snaked a hand around you. You knew he did it because of Scott and you were a little uneasy about it.
"Oh I just needed to run over some stuff with Mike." You shrugged.
"Who is this Mike?" you didn't like the tone in his voice.
"Just a guy from S.H.I.E.L.D. so calm it."
You tried to focus your conversation on Scott again, ignoring the jealous god sitting beside you.
After your passionate sleepless nights, in the next few days Loki saw you more and more getting up early for work. He almost asked you to stay one time, when you uncurled from his awoken form.
"What if I came with you?"
"You'll spook him up and he won't be able to work properly." You leaned over him and gave him a slight peck. "Besides, you're going to Asgard with Thor later today, right?"
"Yeah, I'll be gone for a couple of days." He was getting up when you sat on his lap.
"I'll miss you."
"I'll miss you too."
•
Sleepless, Steve groaned and grabbed his jacket and went up to the roof of the tower. He had barely slept between his fight with you and watching his best friend almost get killed by an alien weapon which then was held and brought back by none other than Loki.
Getting up, he looked around at the city when he went to his usual sitting space. This night it wasn't empty, he was surprised to see you sitting there, in his sweatshirt.
He went and sat down next to you. It was quiet for a while.
"Can't sleep?"
You shook your head in response.
"I'm sorry, Steve." You turned your head to look at him, your cheeks flushed from the cold. "What I said was way out of place and I just couldn't think clearly through all of my fury." You could feel your eyes beginning to sting. You couldn't fight with Steve.
"It's okay, I shouldn't have screamed at you. I can't fully blame you I am just-" he took your cold hands in his. "I feel protective over you, you're family to me and you know that."
"Loki was my family for a long time too, once." You muttered to him.
"Are you sure he won't hurt you? Can you really just trust him like that?" he asked and you sighed, not seeing the point in avoiding it.
"No." with another breath you managed to tell him more. "Plus it's just for now, we agreed on it."
Steve stayed silent, but you could feel him studying you.
"But Y/N is that what you actually want?"
The question had you holding your breath, catching you off guard. It was an odd question to ask but if you were letting yourself see the truth- you know the answer.
You stayed quiet and stayed with Steve there until you fell asleep on his shoulder.
•
The golden cages of the palace gates opened up to him, the palace workers carefully bowed to him as he hastily passed by them. The sooner he could this over it, the sooner he could go back to you. Hopefully you won't be taken away from him again when he is back.
Entering the throne room, he saw his father on the grand sit and Thor leaned in on a pillar.
"Ah, my son, you finally came." He walked towards his brother and stood in front of Odin.
"What is this meeting about?"
"Loki-" Thor began before his father halted him.
"I heard you rejected the advances of lady Iyllir, why would you do that?"
"Well, father-"
"Our relationship with her family is important. We need to clean up the messy reputation you gave yourself, giving you a fitting wife will help immensely. Loki, for once in your life do the right thing and obey!"
"Loki has-"
"No Thor, don't make excuses for him. The lady was brought here for you, to have a wedding. My child, don't be foolish. She is a lovely girl, everybody will be happy when the wedding will occur! She even agreed to be your wife despite everything!" the Allfather chuckled but Loki knew better than that.
"Shouldn't we be talking about the problem with Hydra? We did manage to get some weapons but some are still missing." Thor cleared his throat and glanced at Loki, who stayed quiet.
"Very well my child, what do you suggest we do?"
"My friends are doing a great job at attacking Hydra, maybe we could send an Asgardian scientist to help them." Thor glanced at Loki for help, he just nodded at him.
"I want you boys home soon. I want to know how these midgardians got their hands on our weapons, you should not take this lightly, and tell these friends of yours not to as well."
"Of course, father. So in two days time we will go back to Midgard and resume our help there."
"No, Thor you will go but Loki shall stay here." Odin dismissed the older brother.
"Father, they need me there, my wand is still missing there!" Loki argued back.
"They don't need you anymore; you've helped them with explaining the weapons. Now you can stay home and we can talk about the wedding. What is the problem? That was the plan all along."
The problem was that Loki knew that, and it was true. He couldn't argue against it.
•
The bed was cold now, the last couple of days took away the place Loki held in your bed and replaced it with coldness. You missed him already.
The sun was setting, painting the skies of your window with beautiful pastel colours.
"Come in!" you yelled to the person at the door. You smiled when you saw Loki walking into your room. "Loki!"
Rushing to him, you wrapped him in a hug, which he was reclined to return. You pulled back from him.
"Loki?" his face held no expressions, and it sent you back.
"So, you're not going to say anything?" sobbing, you had to sit on the couch. Why was he still here? This is what you get for falling for a trickster; he must have lied to you a million little times. "Did this mean nothing to you? Did I mean nothing to you?"
Accusing him, your blurry eyes returned to his solid face that held no emotion- just indifference.
"What did you expect falling for an immortal monster?" he growled back, mocking you now. The tears kept pouring as he stood there staring.
"I came here to help with the weapons which were stolen, my help isn't really needed here anymore so I am going back to Asgard."
Oh. You took a couple of steps back.
"What did you expect falling for the god of lies? Did you really think I would stay for you? I won't be coming back to midgard anymore." You barely saw him now but you heard the door shut behind him, and he just left you there with your heart shattered like glass on the floor.
"Loki, are you not going to stay until we found the weapons at least?" you let out a nervous laugh, trying to keep looking at him, which proved to be a difficult task when you knew that he knew exactly what you felt.
"No, Thor can take it away from now on. I do have to go back for my duties as a prince, and for a lady after all." You scoffed.
"Right."
"You can't be upset with me. This was what you wanted. We agreed on this from the start, just a temporary thing, right?" he mocked you now.
"Well what if I wanted more! You were all I wanted!" you yelled at him now, finally releasing all the unsaid things. "Does that make you happy? Hearing me say that, hearing me beg?"
"No it doesn't." he groaned at you.
"You are doing the same thing you did all those years ago." The tears welled up in your eyes. "You know, you never did tell me why, you just left with no explanation."
"What do you want me to say, baby?" it slipped but he couldn't control it, he had to control himself first.
"Don't call me baby! Look at this mess that you're creating of me, do you remember what happened back then? How I cried and you were just there watching! You just watched me suffer." The tears let themselves flow without your permission. "Tell me why!"
"You don't know anything, why would you make such a fuss over nothing?" he hissed at you, moving around the room you almost felt like his prey. You probably were.
"Because I love you! I always have so even if you don't just let me have this closure, tell me why you left me so suddenly?" You hated the crack in your voice, closing your eyes for a moment you pinched your nose. "Tell me!"
"This is why!" his yell scared you, opening your eyes you were shocked at what you saw. In front of you stood a creature with blue skin, markings and red eyes- and that was Loki. You stood there staring at him with tears glistening on your cheeks.
"What- what's this?" you felt shivers down your spine, the temperature in the room was much colder now. He gave you a scary smile.
"I'm a frost giant, in Asgard you know the parents tell their kids about monsters like me at night." Those eyes were menacing as he walked over to you. You took steps back but he didn't stop.
"Loki, stop." You put a hand forward.
"Is this not what you wanted?"
"Not like this." You shook your head, trying to get rid of the part of your brain that insists that he is scary. "Whatever you are, whatever happened to you- none of that is enough excuse for what you did to me."
"You mortals always confuse excuse with explanation."
"Yeah right because I'm just a dumb human, I apologize, my prince." In a blink of an eye he turned back to how you knew him. Your mind hasn't processed what happened yet, your heart was already taking over you at that point.
"You asked me why, I gave you a reason." And you wanted to ask more, you wanted to understand this. You wanted him to-
"Stay." You whispered, tired at this point.
"I'm going back to my home at Asgard." He turned back and was walking towards the door.
"If you walk out that door, don't bother coming back."
The door slammed shut and all over again you broke down, with your heart shattering on the floor. That's the price you pay for trying to have back something that you never had in the first place. Nothing has changed.
•
Tags: @ayybtch @buckys-other-punk @chaoticpete @madcrazy50 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @the-departed-potato @rogerrhqpsody @onceupona-happilyeverafter-love @percabethismyotp14
#my writing#1989#all you had to do was stay#loki x reader#loki laufeyson#loki odinson#loki fluff#loki angst#angst#taylor swift#loki fanfiction#loki fanfic#loki imagine#marvel#loki show#loki odinson x reader
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Sub Rosa [100]
xvi. the last war
Pairing: Bellamy Blake x reader
Word Count: 8.3k
Warnings: violence, fighting, death, blood, angst, language, anxiety.
Summary: the last war is here, can you stop it before it’s too late?
a/n: 100!!!! I WROTE 100 CHAPTERS!!! YOU READ 100 CHAPTERS!!!! WE DID IT!!!! HOW ARE WE FEELING!!!! PLEASE CHECK THE END FOR MORE NOTES!!!!
previous chapter // season masterlist // series masterlist
The tension in the elevator is heavy as you and Clarke slip into Wanheda and Wanlida mode.
It’s hard to believe that you’ve always been so eager to distance yourself from Wanlida, but in the last few years, you’ve found yourself welcoming her with open arms. And it’s a far cry from doing better for Monty, and trying to create lasting peace, but with your niece lying limply in a chair, left alone, you don't care about any of that. You’re willing to kill anyone that gets in your way, do better be damned, because no one messes with your family.
Bellamy, Levitt, and Octavia hang back a little, noting the anger in yours and Clarke’s expressions, none of them wanting to get in your way and risk your wrath. As the elevator lifts to level 2, Octavia leans forward to pass you her gun, giving you two weapons to work with. Levitt watches the exchange and then says, “The Shepherd’s unit will be with him guarding the door.”
“Too bad for them.”
Clarke lifts her jacket and pulls two grenades from her pockets, taken from the fallen victims of Sheidheda, and as soon as Levitt sees them, he looks at her with disappointment. “Grenades? So more killing, that’s the answer?”
Clarke doesn't turn to face him, just squares up and readies for the door to open. You spare him a quick glance over your shoulder, expression hard when you counter, “It’s what we do.”
You lock eyes with Bellamy before turning back to the front, and he offers you a nod of approval, agreeing with what you and Clarke are about to do. You nod back, wishing there was time for the two of you to have more of a proper reunion, to talk about everything that’s happened in the last few days, but there isn’t time right now. Earlier today you had too much time on your hands, leaving you anxious and waiting, and now you don’t have enough of it, causing you to leave so much with Bellamy unresolved. You shake your head to clear your thoughts, pushing them aside for later. Right now, as the elevator stops on the second level, you have more important things on your mind.
Justice.
Clarke steps out of the elevator first, turning to make sure you’re following, and when she sees that you are, she continues towards the Stone Room. You lift your two pistols, hearing the others step out of the elevator behind you, all of you watching as Clarke throws both grenades down the hall, right outside the Stone Room. As the two of you round the corner, side by side, you step through the smoke from the explosions, shooting anyone that moves or turns towards you.
You take out disciple after disciple with ease, the two of you killing them before most of them can even lift their weapons. When you round the last corner, you both pause in front of the door, turning to look at the others. Octavia is leaning down to grab a sword, Levitt is looking around with distress, and Bellamy is holding a gun in his hand, his back to you, already covering your backs. Clarke glances at Octavia and Levitt and says, “Cover us.”
They both nod, moving into position as Clarke turns to look at you. You lift your hand, hovering it over the button to the door, looking at her closely. “You ready?”
She nods, “Stronger together.”
And then you hit the button, quickly getting back into position as the door slides open, revealing the Stone Room, drowning in the light. Your weapons lower as your eyes land on the Anomaly Stone, now a large, glowing ball of white light, no one else in the room around you. As you stare at the stone, you can feel the crushing weight of disappointment, and you whisper, “We’re too late.”
Clarke turns towards you, distress crossing her features for half a second before it settles into determination. “Maybe not.”
You give her a look, already aware of what she’s thinking, but Levitt shakes his head, not understanding. “What do you mean?”
“She wants to go in after him.”
Bellamy steps towards the two of you, his tone skeptical. “Clarke, you have no idea what you could face when you step in there.”
You already know there’s no way you’re going to change her mind, which is why you add, “At least let us go with you.”
“No. I have to do this.” She gives you a serious look, adding, “Alone.”
You sigh, looking at her, thinking of the grief she’s going to carry if she can't avenge Madi, and you understand it. It's the same grief you carried when you thought Bellamy was dead or when you thought you lost Clarke to Josephine. Which is why you nod at her, relenting, allowing her to do what she needs to do. “Fine. But we’re waiting just outside the door. We’ll keep the halls clear for you.”
She reaches out and pulls you into a hug, whispering into the crook of your neck, “Thank you, la lune.”
You pull away and smile at her, any anger you had for her gone now that Bellamy is alive and well, and your focus instead on avenging Madi. “I love you, my shining star. Be careful.”
“I will.”
She starts to step towards the bright light, before pausing and turning to face Bellamy, her face pulled into one of regret. “I’m sorry for shooting you, Bellamy, and I’m really glad you’re okay.”
Bellamy nods, smiling at her a little, before motioning towards the light. “Go get that son of a bitch, and make him pay for what he did to our family.”
Clarke nods and gives you one last look before turning and walking towards the stone, reaching out to touch the bright light, which quickly consumes her. Once she’s gone, you turn to face the others. “We can’t let anyone get close.”
Everyone agrees and you all file into the hall again, looking around. They all turn to you, looking for your direction, and you motion towards the fallen disciples. “Levitt, Octavia, gather all the weapons.”
They start to move down the hall, grabbing anything that might be useful to the rest of you, and you turn to look at Bellamy, pointing to a long table at the other end of the hall. “Let’s use that to make a barrier.”
“Good idea.”
The two of you jog down the hall and grab the table, carrying it back to the other end and tipping it on its side, making a makeshift shield large enough for the four of you to duck behind. As soon as you get it set up, Octavia and Levitt come back with an armful of weapons each, discarding them behind your shield in case you need them. And then the four of you take up your positions behind it, getting comfortable as you wait. Octavia braces her back against the table legs, and Levitt settles in beside her. You and Bellamy move to lean against the wall, sitting in a position that’ll allow you to duck behind the shield if you need it.
The four of you sit in silence before Bellamy makes a small sound, reaching into his pockets as he moves. You turn towards him, curious, watching as he pulls a knife and a holster from his pocket. “Almost forgot to give this to you.”
“My knife!” You take it from him with a wide smile, immediately moving to put the holster on. “Where’d you get it?”
“When I was escaping from my hospital room, I went through the cabinets to find some clothes. That was tucked in the back, along with your old clothes.”
“I didn't think I'd ever get it back.” You pull the knife from the holster, eyeing the notches on the handle as you do. Thirteen in total, missing the two disciples you killed with it when you tried to escape. You run your fingers over the lines and mutter, “It’s missing two.”
Octavia digs around the pile of weapons before producing a knife, which she leans forward to hand you. You take it with a smile of thanks, already beginning to add the two additional tallymarks when Levitt gets an idea. He runs his fingers through the ash on the wall behind you and Bellamy, courtesy of one of the grenades, before he moves back towards Octavia. “Can’t go to war without your war paint.”
He starts to smudge the ash over her face, using it to draw the same warpaint she wore when she fought in the Final Conclave. You and Bellamy watch the pair, feeling a little awkward by the intimacy of the moment, but it reminds you so much of Orlando painting symbols on your face the night before you jumped to Bardo. Which makes you think of Gabriel, dead, his body still stuck in a partially collapsed bunker. You look at Levitt and ask, “Can I ask you something?”
He nods, and you slide your knife back into its holster just as he finishes with Octavia’s make up, turning to face you fully. “If Clarke takes the test and we pass, will Gabriel transcend too? Even though he’s dead?”
“No. Shepherd's passage, ‘Book of Bardo’, Chapter 1, Verse 6. ‘Death is the end, my friend. Only the living shall transcend.’”
You sigh, and Bellamy looks at you in confusion, reaching out to touch your arm. “Wait, Gabriel’s dead?”
You turn to face him, completely forgetting that he has no idea what all of you have gone through since leaving him on Sanctum. “Sheidheda showed up to kill Madi, and he stabbed Gabriel. He probably would have lived, but Sheidheda was about to kill me when Gabriel jumped in and saved my life. Sheidheda killed him after that.”
You leave out the potential love confession, not even sure that’s what it was, and Bellamy gives you a look of sympathy as he reaches up to touch your cheek. “I was wondering whose blood that was.”
You feel tears start to well up in your eyes, suddenly overwhelmed with unprocessed emotions. You got Bellamy back, despite the odds, but you still lost Gabriel and Madi. Before that, you lost Diyoza, and your mom, and Kane, and so many others. The loss hangs over you, heavy, weighing down on you, and Bellamy can sense your impending breakdown. He abruptly stands, holding out his hand to you, and you take it as he glances over at Levitt. “Are there medical supplies nearby? Her bandages need to be changed.”
Levitt nods, pointing down the hall. “Should be some down there, last door on the right.”
Bellamy nods in thanks and wraps his arm around you, turning you away from the pair as he starts to lead you down the hall. You feel tears falling down your face as you softly cry, unable to do much more than follow Bellamy to one of the medical rooms. He leads you inside and takes you over to the inspection chair, putting his hands beneath your arms to lift you and set you onto the cool leather. He leans down a little, getting eye level with you, before lifting his hands to your cheeks, wiping away your rapidly falling tears. “I’m so sorry about Gabriel, natshana.”
You nod, sure that he must be confused, unaware that the two of you became like family. “There’s so much I need to tell you, Bellamy. I spent five years trying to get you back, with Hope, Echo, and Gabriel at my side.”
He looks at you with complete shock. “Five years?”
You nod in confirmation and he shakes his head in confusion. “How? Where?”
“Skyring. The disciples call it Penance. The time dilation there is fast, a few days here is years on Skyring and minutes on Sanctum. We came after you as soon as the disciples knocked you out, but we got trapped there.”
Your lip starts to quiver as you remember the devastation you felt upon realizing you were stuck there. “I thought about you everyday, and when I finally made it to Bardo, they told me you died in an explosion. I never thought I'd see you again.”
Your voice cracks on the last sentence, bringing tears to Bellamy’s eyes, and he reaches out to pull you in for a hug, one of his hands going to the back of your head to hold you in place as you cry in his arms. All the while, he whispers in your ear, “It’s okay, I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”
After a moment, he pulls back, looking at you with sympathy. “I can't imagine what you’ve been through, but it’s over now, and I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me.”
“Forever?”
He reaches into his pocket, pulling something out and holding it out to you in his open palm. You look down at his hand, your eyes falling on your ring as he whispers, “Forever.”
You smile and take the ring, sliding it onto your left hand, where it belongs. And even though everyone you love is still in danger, possibly on the edge of extinction, for one, blissfully happy second, everything is okay. Bellamy leans forward and pulls you in for a kiss, stretching the moment from one happy second to five, electricity zipping across your skin as you kiss your fiance for the first time in five years. It’s the best kiss the two of you have ever shared, and it leaves you breathless and lightheaded. Bellamy pulls away, and the two of you sit looking at each other, the air in the room charged with tension. And something about the moment, your closeness to war, to extinction, the fact that you’ve been apart for so long, it gets to you both. You see Bellamy’s gaze drop to your lips before his eyes find yours again, and in a flash, you’re both pulling each other closer.
He crashes his lips onto yours, his hands lifting to your face to hold you in place. Your hands reach out for him, searching for skin to touch, frustrated when you find none because of his long sleeves. You slide your hand up his shirt as he slides his tongue into your mouth, and as your tongues move together, you hastily undo the small buttons on Bellamy’s shirt, pushing your hands against his skin as soon as you get his shirt open. You move your hands along his stomach, reveling in the feel of him, this sensation you haven’t experienced in five years, and you swear you feel like you’re going to explode. But as your hands move up to his chest, they graze across a bandage, and you pull your hand away, instantly knowing what it is.
You and Bellamy break apart before you look at him with sadness, your eyes dropping back down to his open shirt. There, taped across his chest, is a bandage, no larger than your palm. As you sit staring at it, aware of what’s beneath the cotton square, Bellamy whispers, “The bullet barely missed my heart. A few inches to the right, and I would have been dead as soon as it hit me. But you saved me.”
You look up at him in confusion, shaking your head. “Me? I didn’t do anything. I left you there when I shouldn’t have. I should have fought Clarke harder and gotten back to you. Maybe then I could have saved you and Madi.”
“Or maybe Cadogan would have killed you the second he saw you. Besides, you did save me. I saw you push Clarke’s hand away. That was just enough for the bullet to miss my heart.”
“Oh, Bellamy…” You trail off, feeling full of regret, wishing you did more than just push your twin’s arm away. You meet his eyes and whisper, “Does it hurt?”
“Not really. Bardo tech got me to 90% within a few hours, and I woke up feeling fine. Then I heard one of the doctors mention Madi, and I snuck out pretty soon after that. I was only there for a few minutes before you guys showed up. I was still trying to figure out what to do, but I knew I couldn’t leave her there alone.”
“I don’t even know how you can look at me after what I did.”
Bellamy shakes his head, giving you a serious look. “I did worse than you did, la lune. I watched them torture Clarke and send Octavia away. I betrayed you and stopped fighting for you.” He shakes his head again, his thoughts overwhelming him. “I know that what I saw on Etherea was real, but Cadogan cannot be the one to take the test. You were right. Doing the right thing the wrong way is not the right thing. I should have never trusted him.”
“You didn't-”
You’re cut off by a yell of surprise from Octavia down the hall, and you and Bellamy exchange a worried look before you take off running from the room. Bellamy haphazardly buttons his shirt back up as you pull out your knife, and with his shirt in place again, Bellamy grabs his gun. As the two of you round the corner, you lift your weapons towards the disciples that stand near the new couple, and they each lift a gun towards you, the four of you standing frozen in shock as you take each other in.
“Bellamy?” Raven and Echo both lower their weapons, staring at Bellamy as if they’ve seen a ghost, and it takes you a second to remember that they are. Because the last anyone else heard, Bellamy was dead. You both lower your weapons seconds before they run over to him, pulling him into a hug at the same time, laughing in surprise. Bellamy hugs them back with a smile on his face, savoring the reunion between himself and part of his Spacekru family. When they all break apart they look at him in disbelief, Raven asking the question on both hers and Echo’s mind. “How are you here?”
“It’s a long story, but how are you here?”
Raven counters, “It’s a long story.”
Echo looks over at you, her expression dropping slightly as she says, “Octavia told us about Madi.”
And just like that, any joy you temporarily possessed is now gone, again reminded of the situation you're in and the danger all of you face. “What are you doing here?”
“We came to kill Cadogan.”
You nod back towards the Stone Room, “Clarke’s taking care of it.”
Levitt looks at them with worry. “You said you brought an army.”
Raven turns to look at him, nodding at him once. “Wonkru is here to distract the disciples so we could sneak inside.”
But the worry on Levitt’s face doesn't fade. “The disciples don't know that. If Clarke can't stop the test to determine whether or not the human race deserves to transcend, while what's left of the human race is fighting a war…”
He trails off, waiting for all of you to catch on to what he means, and as soon as you do, your anxiety levels rise, suddenly realizing you might be closer to extinction than you originally thought. “We have to stop the war.”
Everyone nods in agreement, turning to head back towards the oxygen farm, Octavia and Levitt in the lead. Raven and Echo follow right behind, and you and Bellamy move to follow them before you suddenly stop, remembering Clarke inside of the Stone Room. Clarke, who will be vulnerable and unprotected if you all leave. Bellamy turns to you when you stop, his expression scrunched with concern. “What? What is it?”
“I can’t leave Clarke.”
“Then we’ll both stay here.”
And as much as you don't want him to leave your side, you know they need him on the battlefield. Because if anyone can give a speech so inspiring that it stops a war, it’s Bellamy. You’ve seen him rally less than 100 exhausted delinquents and prepare them for a war, and you’ve seen him inspire a small group ready to fly into space to avoid a death wave. People will follow him, your fiance with the big heart, and you know he’s better suited out there than he is in here with you.
You shake your head, lifting your hand to his cheek. “No. If anyone can stop this war, it’s you Bellamy Blake.”
“I don't want to lose you. Not again.”
You smile at him, tears in your eyes. “You won't. Because no matter what, you’re stuck with me. No matter what, you can always find me in the stars.”
Bellamy pulls you in for a kiss, desperate and full of love, and you kiss him back just as urgently, praying that the moment never ends. But it does, and you both pull away, looking at each other with heartbreak, knowing that you’re needed in two different places. Bellamy runs his hands from your shoulders, down your arms, linking your hands together. He squeezes once before he whispers, “I love you.”
“I love you more than the stars.”
He fights back a fresh wave of tears, backing away from you slowly, your hands breaking apart. “Stay out of trouble.”
“Go save our asses.” The two of you smile at each other before he turns and jogs down the hall, following the path the others took. He stops when he reaches the end, turning to look at you one last time before he disappears from sight, leaving you to stop a war and possibly save all of you from extinction. You turn and grab a pistol from the pile of weapons before you head to the Stone Room, pushing the button for the door so that you can wait inside.
The room is empty when you arrive, looking exactly the same as last time, and you push the button to close the door behind you, not wanting to get caught off guard by anyone. You stare at the glowing white light for a second before leaning back against the wall, sliding down it until you're sitting on the floor. You lean your head back and do the thing you dread the most: you wait.
Luckily for you, you don't have to wait long before there’s a flash of white near the Anomaly Stone. You stand and turn towards it, watching as Cadogan’s dead body appears at the base of the stone, multiple bullet wounds in his chest, blood seeping out onto the floor around him. You feel a rush of relief that he’s dead, that he has paid for what he did to Madi, Bellamy, you, and countless others, but that relief is short lived. Because a moment later the Anomaly flashes again and Clarke steps out of the light, turning to look down at Cadogan’s dead body with shock.
As she looks up again, her eyes meet yours, but her face is devoid of the happiness she should feel. Instead, she looks upset, her expression anguished. “What have I done?”
You step closer to her, reaching out to take her hand as she looks away from you. “Did you take the test? Tell me what happened.”
“I failed.” You swear you feel all the air leave your body in one quick rush, the reality of what her words mean hitting you hard. She squeezes your hand and looks up at you, tears in her eyes. “It should have been you, la lune, not me. Our whole lives, everyone always looked to me, chose me to be the twin that lived on the outside, but it should have been you. It should have always been you.”
You look at her in shock, your mind buzzing with all the information she’s just given you. But you force it all away and focus on the pressing situation, the one that matters the most right now. “So that's it? We're wiped out?”
She nods her head, and you ask, “Well, can we change their minds?”
“I don't know.” She squeezes your hand and then drops it, already turning towards the door. “I need to be with Madi, there's not much time.”
You turn to follow her, calling out to her quickly retreating figure, “Clarke, wait!”
As you reach the door, the Anomaly Stone behind you turns bright red, pulsing with an almost angry, vibrating sound. You pause and turn to look at it, watching it closely. Despite your better judgement, you walk closer to it, closing the space between you and the bright red ball. As you look at it, you start to wonder: can you stop this? Can you change their minds?
You take a deep breath, lifting your hand as you mutter to yourself, “I am war, rage singing beneath my skin, running into battle and wearing Death like a crown. I am the moon, loss tied to my ankles like chains, trying to pull me down, but still I rise. I am fire, wild and untameable, spitting flames when I walk, unapologetic as I burn down the world around me.”
And then you touch the stone.
Everything around you grows so bright that you can do nothing more than close your eyes against it, the low vibration growing louder as something happens around you. You keep your eyes closed until you hear the sound fade, and only then do you slowly pull open your eyes. Your gaze immediately lands on a wall of trees, surrounding you on all sides, and you turn around, trying to figure out where you are. When you do, your eyes land on a large hunk of metal, three levels tall, scorched and damaged from its descent.
“The dropship.” You let out a breathy laugh of surprise. “No way.”
You jump when a voice behind you calls out, “Took a beating on the way down, didn't she?”
“Dad.” You spin around, your eyes landing on your dad standing in the middle of the clearing, looking at you closely. You close the space between you, jumping into his arms and wrapping him up in a hug, squeezing him tight as you laugh. “Dad! What are you doing here?”
He doesn't answer, just hugs you back weakly before setting you back on the ground. You step back and look at him in confusion, taking in his blank expression, no sign of his usual affection for you. The pieces fall into place as you look at him, realizing that he’s not your father at all. “You’re not him.”
“No, I'm not. This is who you chose.”
You shake your head in confusion, “I don’t understand.”
“We often take the form of your greatest teacher, your greatest failure, or your greatest love.” You step back, putting more distance between you and the imposter dad. He tips his head to the side slightly, studying you. “Why are you here? The test is over. As you know, your twin failed.”
You glare at the man, your anger rising as you think of everything Clarke has sacrificed. Not just for you, but for your people too. “How could she have failed? Clarke sacrificed everything for us, so that we didn't have to. She gave up her soul so we could keep ours!”
“She committed atrocities.”
You counter, “She did what she thought was right. She was trying to save us.”
“She doomed you.” Your dad shakes his head, starting to turn away from you as he mutters, “I'm sorry.”
You yell back, “Are you?”
He turns back to face you, and you continue on, “Because to me, it looks like you don't feel anything. We’ve made mistakes, but we were just trying to survive! And everything we’ve done, all the bullshit we went through, we did it to save our people, to save the human race. Everything we did brought us here, to this moment, and I’m not saying we’re ready now, but at least let us live. Let us keep trying to do better, because we will. We have.”
“You say you have, yet even now you are poised and on the brink of self-extermination. Look.” He motions to your left, and you turn to look, suddenly away from the dropship and back in the oxygen farm. To your left stands Wonkru, crouching behind barriers and shields, and to your right are the disciples, looking frightened and worried. “You say you're trying to do better, but all I see are two tribes of frightened creatures willing to kill the other to save themselves.”
You shake your head, your brows pulling together as you look between the two groups, frozen in a state of nonviolence. “But they're not fighting or killing each other. It was just a distraction, this proves nothing.”
“They will fight, la lune, like they always do.”
You snap, “You can't possibly know that.”
Your dad motions to your left, to a person in the trees, crouching with a weapon in their hand. As you look their way, you see that it’s Sheidheda, and he has a smile on his face, ready to stir up some chaos. You look at him in fear and try to move closer to him, yelling, “Stop!”
Your dad grabs your arm, pulling you to a standstill. “They can't see or hear you. You can’t stop this, no one can.”
And just as he says, you can't stop him. You can only stand and watch in horror as Sheidheda pulls the trigger, firing a few rounds at the disciples across the field. They look ready to retaliate, and Wonkru looks ready to fight, but Indra manages to keep them restrained, seconds before a figure dressed in all white bursts onto the field. For one agonizing second you think it’s Bellamy, but then you realize that it’s Levitt, and Bellamy is waiting in the trees with Octavia and Raven and Echo. As soon as Levitt is on the field, everyone pauses, listening to him as he yells, “Wait, wait, wait! Listen to me, this is not the Last War. We don't achieve transcendence through violence, Cadogan was wrong. We're being tested right now, all of us!”
You turn to look at your dad, raising one of your brows. “You were saying?”
But he just motions back to the scene in front of you. Levitt is urging everyone to put down their weapons, and people start to respond, lowering their guns and swords, until Sheidheda grows restless and sends another round of bullets towards the disciples. Levitt gets caught in the crossfire, and you watch in horror as he falls to the ground, blood already staining his clothes, and the disciples take the attack on Levitt as an attack on themselves. They return fire, prompting Wonkru to do the same, and before you know it, you have a war on your hands. People on either side are being taken down, hitting the ground, and you catch a glimpse of Octavia and Echo running to grab Levitt before you turn to face your father. “This still proves nothing. The actions of one man should not define our entire species! Those people are scared, and half of them spent their entire lives thinking that they needed to defeat you in a war.”
“Don't you see? Despite the beauty that humans are capable of, you can't break free from the cycle of violence. They trained for a war, because they wanted a war.”
“No one wants a war.”
Your dad shrugs, “This is who you are, and that's why you failed the test.”
You shake your head, thinking of the peace you lived in your lifetime. The peace on Bardo, the peace on Sanctum. You know that peace is possible, that all of you can change, and you turn to look at your dad with desperation. “No. That can’t be it.”
“It's time for us to go, la lune. The end of the human race is here.”
And as you start to turn away, devastated that you couldn't change their minds, you hear Octavia yell, “Indra! Indra, hold your fire!”
You pull your dad to a stop, “Wait!”
Both of you turn back to the battlefield, watching as Indra yells to Wonkru, “Hold your fire!”
Wonkru stops firing their weapons, and in return, the disciples stop firing theirs. You watch on with hope, thinking that maybe, they can still turn this around. Maybe, you can still avoid extinction. But then Sheidheda jumps out of the trees, stepping into a circle of warriors. “Indra is not in command here! I am, and I say jus drein, jus daun!”
He starts to repeat the phrase over and over, and you feel your hope being crushed once again as people start to join him, chanting the phrase and intending to continue the war. But Indra, who has clearly had enough of the Dark Commander at this point, snatches one of the sonic cannons from an Eligius prisoner, turns it on Sheidheda and blasts him to pieces before you can even respond. You feel relief course through you as he disappears, Gabriel’s death now avenged, and as you stare at the group around you, you see none other than your fiance running onto the battlefield, his voice loud as he yells, “Enough!”
Everyone turns to face him, watching him stride out into the center of the field with Octavia at his side, and he looks between both groups with disappointment. “What the hell are we doing here? You swore an oath to fight for all mankind. Well, look around you! We are mankind!”
Octavia, remembering her position as the former leader of Wonkru, turns to face her people, adding, “We are one crew! If I kill you, I kill myself. If we keep killing each other, there won't be anyone left to save!”
She looks to Indra, her teacher, her mentor, resignation in her voice. “Our fight is over, Indra!”
Indra stares back at her former second, giving her a long look before she mutters, “I hope you know what you're doing.”
She drops her weapon, and all around her, the others do the same, until no one on the Wonkru side is armed. You watch on with pride as Bellamy turns to face the disciples, determined to stop this war, right here, right now. “We're unarmed! I know you're afraid to walk away from everything you've spent your lives training for, but I believe transcendence is within reach! But if we fight this war, we’ll never deserve to see it, and we’ll never deserve to survive.”
You can see some of the disciples starting to lower their weapons, as Wonkru nods along in agreement. You smile at your fiance, whispering to yourself, “He’s reaching them.”
Octavia reaches out and takes her brother’s hand before she finishes up their speech. “I've been to war, and let me tell you the only way to win... is not to fight.”
She pulls out her sword and stabs it into the dirt, and Bellamy pulls the gun from his waistband and drops it on the ground. The Blake siblings stand together, united as they should be, unarmed and facing an army. The disciples look lost and confused, everyone exchanging looks, trying to figure out what they should do. Someone calls out, “Sir, what are our orders?”
Their leader looks around at his army and then back to the Blake siblings, before he disconnects his weapon from his suit and drops it to the ground, muttering, “For all mankind.”
All around him, other disciples do the same, dropping their weapons and repeating the mantra, until two armies stand united, at peace, despite the odds. You turn to look at your father with hope, gesturing to the scene beside you. “I told you, we can change. We just need more time.”
He looks at you long and hard, before tuning his gaze back to the siblings. You follow his line of sight, wondering what he sees, shocked to see the pair beginning to glow. You start to jog towards them, surprised, but a second later they disappear, leaving two beings of light in their wake. You whisper with shock, “Transcendence.”
You turn back to face your father, only to find that he’s already gone. All around you are flashes of gold, and you turn back to the field, watching as the disciples and Wonkru start to glow, leaving behind a gold stand in. You turn in a circle, amazed to see everyone transcending, and as you spin, the trees around you transform. Suddenly, you’re back at the dropship, your mind remembering your forgotten niece and twin, somewhere inside Bardo.
You run towards the dropship, yanking the makeshift door aside to step inside, suddenly back in the Stone Room on Bardo. Without hesitation, you take off running, tearing down the halls and back towards M-Cap, reaching the door with an audible sigh of relief. You push the button to open the door and Clarke turns at the sound, a figure of light stretched in front of her, Madi already gone. “My shining star.”
And as the words leave your mouth and you start to cross the room, you realize that the dull ache in your shoulder, present since Sheidheda stabbed you, disappears. You look down at your shoulder in shock, your eyes landing on the light that is starting to radiate off of you, and as you look up at your twin with excitement, you fade away, melting into the light and becoming one with the rest of humanity.
-
You open your eyes to find yourself in Shallow Valley.
You sit up quickly, looking around in confusion, surprised to see that you’re in the house you saved for you and Bellamy. Stars stretch across the sky above your head, visible to you through the window, though they aren’t as breathtaking as usual. You shake your head, remembering the valley that was destroyed by McCreary, meaning whatever is happening right now is not normal. You turn and slide out of the bed, listening for the laughter and yelling outside, and you walk tentatively to the door, pushing it open to peek out into the night. There’s no one in the village from what you can tell, but the laughter sounds close so you decide to follow it.
The voices lead you through the trees, and you look down to watch your step, remembering how bad some of the tree roots were in this part of the woods. You’re surprised to see your bare feet walking through the forest, none of the usual pain coming along with it. Though confused, you push on, following the laughter through the woods, catching glimpses of a fire as you move, until you suddenly burst through the treeline and see all of your friends gathered near the lake that you, Clarke, and Madi would swim in.
They all look up as you approach, calling your name, and you smile back at them, walking towards the water where they’re waiting. As you move, you see a streak of something barreling towards you, and a second later a body collides with your own. You look down to see a head of dark hair, and Madi pulls away to look up at you, smiling as she does, “Ani!”
You laugh in disbelief and hug her back, but something about it feels off, wrong. You’re excited to see her, happy that she’s okay, but it doesn’t feel right to you. You shake your head, trying to push the thought away as Bellamy steps along the edge of the lake, towards you, smiling as he nears closer. “My love.”
The words don't light you up the way they normally would, and his kiss doesn’t either. Everything about it feels flat and unusual, and you hate it. You have no idea what’s going on, but you hate it.
You look around for Clarke, sure that she’ll know what’s going on, but you see no sign of your blonde haired twin. You look back at Bellamy in confusion, “Where's Clarke?”
“Everyone’s been showing up one at a time. If she transcended after you, she should be here soon.”
“Transcendence.” You nod, remembering the events leading up to this moment. You have only just transcended, but you can already tell that none of this feels right. The fire next to you brings you no warmth, the joy you should be feeling isn’t there, and you can’t feel the sensations of the ground beneath your feet. The stars are dull and lifeless, the laughter sounds forced and unusual, and the affection that you normally feel for Bellamy and Madi and the others isn’t there. You know what it should feel like, you know how you should be acting, but none of this is the way it’s supposed to be. You look around again, seeing if anyone else feels the same, pausing when you catch sight of a glint of metal through trees. “What was that?”
Bellamy looks back quickly before turning to you. “What?”
You shake your head and lock eyes with him, forcing a smile to your face as you do. “Nothing. Uh, I’m gonna go say hey to the others and then I’ll come find you, okay?”
He nods and steps away from you. “Okay.”
But instead of wandering over to the rest of your friends, you slip back into the trees, moving through the dark woods, towards the metal you caught sight of earlier. Weirdly enough, as you grow closer, you can see that it’s part of Arkadia, situated all the way out in Shallow Valley, far from where Alpha Station crash landed to the ground. You step inside of the building, heading to the door at the end of the hall, voices drifting from behind it.
Your feet thud softly on the metal floors, but they don't shock you with cold the way they normally would. You reach the door and push it open slowly, your eyes landing on a large round table in the center of the room. Situated around it are seven different people, talking quietly, their backs to you, but at the sound of your entrance they all turn towards you. You’re shocked to see your mother, Kane, and Jaha, along with a few other familiar council members. You feel a rush of excitement and you start to cross the room towards your mom, a smile on your face, but you hesitate when she doesn't smile back at you, your mind remembering that your mother is dead.
It takes a second for you to realize that this is not your mom, Kane, Jaha, or the rest of the council. It’s the species that created the stones, appearing in front of you in a way that makes sense to your brain. For some reason, your mind chose the Council and the Chancellor.
The seven people in the room take a seat in tandem, looking towards you expectantly. “What can we do for you, Miss Griffin?”
You ask the question weighing heaviest on your mind. “Where’s Clarke?”
“Right now, she’s on Sanctum. Though I doubt she’ll be there long.”
You pull a face as you stare at Jaha, the one who answered your question. “Sanctum? What’s she doing there? When is she coming here?”
This time, it’s Kane that answers. “She’s not.”
“What?”
“Clarke isn’t transcending.” You stare at your mother in shock, sure that you must be imagining things. She shrugs as she looks at you. “How fitting that one twin saved the human race, while the other condemned it.”
You shake your head, looking between everyone on the council. “I don’t understand, I thought you changed your mind.”
“We did. For everyone but her.”
“Why?”
“Her actions must have a cost, Miss Griffin.” You look at Jaha, your expression indicating that you need some clarification, so he adds, “She is the only test subject from any species anywhere in the Universe since the dawn of time who committed murder during a test.”
“So she can never transcend? She has to live out the rest of her days alone?”
“She found Picasso.”
You glare at Kane, both of you knowing damn well that though Picasso is lovely, she is not a replacement for real human interaction. You look between them all, your mind making a decision before you can even process it. “I want to go back.”
“Okay.”
You look at Jaha in confusion, expecting him to fight you on this. “Okay? That’s it?”
“Transcendence is a choice, Miss Griffin. It always has been.”
“Then I choose to go back.”
Kane gives you a long look. “You do understand that if you leave us, you may never return.”
“Yes.”
“You will bleed and live and die as a human.”
“I know.”
Jaha holds out his hands, shrugging. “Then you may return. Though I suspect the others may want to join you.”
“If Madi comes back, will she be okay?”
“Yes. We will restore her health.”
You nod, “And that’s it then? Those of us that choose to return, we’re the last of the human race?”
“In a manner of speaking, yes.”
You shake your head, looking at your mother. “What does that mean?”
“Those of you that leave now can never transcend again, but your offspring will be given a choice: transcend or remain human. If they join us, they will be eternal. If they choose to stay, they will live and die, just as you do. There will be limitations, of course, so that the human species will be unable to repopulate the way you once did, but your lives will remain mostly the same, untouched by the rest of us.”
You nod, processing the information, sure that it’s something you can live with. “Fine. I’d like to tell my friends first.”
Kane motions towards the door. “You will find us when you're ready.”
You look them all over one last time before you turn towards the door and leave, heading back to the lake to tell your friends that you plan to leave and return to Clarke. Madi and Bellamy are the first to join you, and the others quickly follow suit. Word begins to spread through Wonkru, the Bardoans, the Eligius prisoners, and the Sanctumites, and before you know it, you have a couple hundred people that decide to go back with you.
The alien species drops all of you back on Earth, near a large lake, leaving you to figure out how to get everyone back to their respective homes. You’re in the process of leading them all back to the bunker and the stone when you hear a dog bark growing steadily louder. You turn to look at Bellamy and Madi with a smile. “Stay here with the others. I’ll go find her.”
They both nod, just as Picasso breaks through the treeline and comes barreling towards all of you, making a beeline for Madi, laying down at your niece’s feet as soon as she reaches her. You smile at them before taking the path Picasso did to reach you, backtracking towards Clarke’s frantic voice, calling out for the dog. You walk up a small, rocky hill, searching for your twin, and you know you’re close when you hear her broken whisper. “I don't want to be alone.”
You round a curve of trees, Clarke now coming into view, her back to you. You call out, “You're not alone.”
She turns around in shock, her expression surprised as she looks at you, a smile breaking out on her face, tears rising to her eyes. “La lune?”
You nod and your face splits into a grin, and the two of you run towards each other, colliding in a fierce hug. She holds you tight, laughing with happiness, and you do the same, this hug feeling right, the way that it should. Clarke breaks the hug to look at you in alarm. “Wait, what about Bellamy and Madi? And the others?”
You take her hand, leading her towards them. “They understood why I needed to come back.”
You see panic cross her features, and she shakes her head. “No, la lune, I would never want you to leave them behind! Even if it meant I was alone.”
“Hey, stop worrying.” You squeeze her hand, the two of you now reaching the bottom of the hill, coming around the corner and into view of the others. But Clarke doesn't see them, not yet, because her eyes are still locked on you, looking panicked. “La lune, I-”
You cut her off, saying, “We couldn't possibly leave you alone. Not after everything you’ve done for us.”
“We?” She looks at you in confusion, and you just smile, nodding towards the group standing nearby. Her eyes go wide as she turns to see the large group of people from multiple different planets, Madi and Bellamy and your friends standing at the front. At the sight of Madi, Clarke turns to flash you a smile before dropping your hand and taking off running, and the two of them collide in a hug so hard that Clarke falls backwards into the sand around the lake.
You walk towards them, Bellamy pulling you in for a kiss when you get close enough, and you smile into it, reveling in the feel of him and the kiss. Transcendence might be nice in a lot of ways, like joining a conscious collective and getting to live forever, but transcending also meant losing all the things that made you human. Nothing would ever feel quite right, look quite right. Emotions would never be quite complete, you would never feel truly whole. And coming back to Earth means that one day you’ll die, and you’ll be able to feel pain again, but that’s part of being human. Life is messy and complicated, but it’s wonderful too. And feeling things like pain reminds you that you’re alive and that you can feel joy and love and sadness and anger. It means that you get to truly live, experience the good and the bad, no matter what.
Bellamy pulls away from you with a smile, the two of you enjoying your time back on Earth already, and he turns to greet your approaching twin. They hug each other, breaking apart so that Clarke can greet the rest of your friends too. You stand watching, a smile on your face, realizing that you and your family have been given a second chance. You get the chance to prove yourself, prove to Monty and the Universe that you can do better. Prove to Jasper that human beings aren’t the problem, and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
There, on a beach on a regrown Earth, after journeying through the stars and back again, you get a second chance at life.
-
the epilogue
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expectation ≠ reality (18+)
When you first met Jungkook, he was so kind, with wide eyes and a sweet smile, but soon enough he dragged you into a tumultuous marriage where you were barely allowed to draw breath on your own. But, when you meet Taehyung, the cute delivery boy with blond hair and a penchant for flirting, you start to wonder if you’ve found your second chance.
Masterlist
Warnings: Yandere behaviour, possessive behaviour, slight dub-con, graphic penetrative sex, DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE A MINOR pls im not tryna get arrested or anything
Word Count: 4K
a/n: thanks to @gucieguciekook for requesting !! hope u enjoy lol <3
Expectation ≠ Reality
You have had enough.
From the moment you agreed to marry him, Jungkook had been getting steadily worse and worse. He had always been possessive to a fault, but you mistakenly saw it as a sign he truly cared and treasured you. You cooed over his obsession with littering hickeys all over your neck, blushed when he called you ‘Mine. Only mine.’ When he asked you to move in way too quickly, you thought it was a sign he was committed to your relationship.
How wrong you were.
Not that he isn’t committed, of course. God, if there was ever a word to describe Jeon Jungkook, it was committed. He is obsessed with you. He slowly started cutting you off from the outside world, persuading you to stay in when your friends invited you out, and convincing you they were terrible people when they inevitably stopped interacting with you. You had cut out everyone else in your life because of him.
Your parents:
babe, they don’t approve of our relationship because they don’t want you to be happy with your own life, they want to control you and treat you like a kid. you don’t need them anyway, you have me.
Your coworkers:
i called in sick for you today, babe. you don’t need to go there anymore, i have more than enough money for the both of us.
Even your pet:
your cat? oh, i’m sorry baby, she got hit by a car. no, don’t cry, baby, now you can give all of your attention to me instead of that rancid furball.
Jungkook had isolated you and exhausted you to the point where you agreed to marry him, convinced it could not make your life any worse.
Again, you were wrong.
With his ring on now your finger, Jungkook is even more assured of his ownership of you. You are no longer allowed to cook or go into the garden, both deemed as dangerous activities where you could somehow be harmed by a vegetable peeler, or maybe grass cuttings. You have no access to the internet, and the only books you are permitted to read are simple, dull books with no plot or dusty old historical text books, obviously the only things Jungkook is certain wouldn’t give you ‘silly ideas to confuse your pretty little head.’
~~~~
“Jungkook,” You murmur, voice muffled as he presses your face into the pillow.
“Yeah, baby, say my name just like that.” He grunts, attempting to tug off your skirt with one hand while the other is fisted in your hair. You roll your eyes and shift your weight so he can take it off properly. After he had separately ripped all your pants at some point in his haste to take them off you, you had realised it was simply easier to wear something less finicky.
As soon your lower half is bared for him, he starts running his large palms greedily over your skin, for his own benefit rather than yours.
“Fuck, look at you.” He mutters, before digging a thumb into a bruise he had left on your ass. You yelp and he chuckles lowly behind you. Just as you expect, he presses firmly on the bruise and you clench your teeth, burying your nails in your palms and refusing to make a noise. He waits for a second, but you remain stubbornly silent.
“Huh,” he says, “I guess baby’s pain threshold has risen a bit, yeah?” He strokes a possessive hand between your shoulder blades and you repress a shiver, before he loops his arm around you and lifts you onto your hands and knees.
“I guess I’ll just have to fuck you harder then.” He resolves, before shoving himself into you roughly.
Jungkook is not small, putting it lightly, though you hate to afford any kind of praise to that bastard. He is long, and thick, and you really hadn’t been very turned on at all, just letting him do what he wanted so that he’d leave you alone, so you don’t blame yourself too much when a scream bursts out of your lips. You can barely hear his smug laugh behind you over the burning sensation in your core. He doesn’t give you any time at all to adjust, roughly pumping himself in and out as you try to hold in your whimpers.
“So fucking tight, baby.” He grunts in your ear, punctuating his words with harsh slaps against your thigh, “You sure you can handle my cock?” This is his offer: Admit that I’m hurting you, admit that you’re weak and at my mercy, and I’ll stop. That’s all you have to do.
You clench your teeth and press your face into the pillow again.
He sighs behind you, though you can tell he’s quietly pleased, before pulling out of you and walking away. Him yanking out and leaving you roughly stretched and exposed to the cold air is almost as painful as when he shoved into you in the first place, and when he returns you resent yourself for feeling the slightest hint of relief.
He is carrying a bottle of lube, normally used for when he decides he wants to fuck your ass instead. You tense up, preparing to swallow your pride and beg him not to — it’s been a while and you’re not sure you can take the pain — but he senses your fear and smirks.
“Don’t worry baby, I’m just gonna make it a bit easier for you.” As he speaks, he’s slicking up his cock and soon enough he’s getting back up on his knees and taking ahold of your hips, pushing himself in slightly gentler this time.
The coolness of the gel soothes — but doesn’t eradicate — the burn and Jungkook has started to move in long, rolling strokes inside you that are almost pleasant.
“See, baby?” Jungkook coos as his hands move around to stroke your stomach, “I don’t want to hurt you, you have to know that. I hate hurting you, but you never tell me to stop. You have to know your limits, baby girl. You’re just not strong enough.”
His words — though patronising, and awful, and the kind of thing that make you want to whack him in the neck with one of those massive historical tomes he provides you — are spoken in that soft, Jungkook tone that he used to make you fall in love with him. It reminds you of those days when he was just Kookie, your cute study partner with a bunny smile and a pretty singing voice and broad muscly shoulders that flushed along with the rest of his body when you complimented him.
The Jungkook that you know him as now — the one swiftly bringing you to a reluctant and resentful orgasm — is the opposite of soft. He is rough and impulsive and controlling and you honestly fear what would happen if you tried to ask him for a divorce. He wouldn’t let you go, probably. He’d just laugh at you, and then shove you down and fuck you to make you remember who you really belonged to, like he is doing now.
You try to contain your pants as Jungkook starts a series of staccato thrusts. You are sure Jungkook would hear you, even over the obscene sound of his hips slapping into the back of your thighs, and would be obnoxiously proud about it for the next month. He would already be smug enough having made you come, which you have given up trying to stave off because Jungkook — damn him — is really good at fucking you until you can’t remember your own name.
He reaches around to pinch your clit harshly and you decide that now is as good a time as any to give up your last remaining vestiges of pride. You come with a piercing whine, clenching around him rhythmically until his hips stutter and you feel the unpleasant sensation of warmth spilling into you. He doesn’t stop, pumping every last drop into you and then dropping on top of you, pinning your body to the mattress.
After a while he rearranges himself so that he is spooning you, arms wrapped stiflingly tight around your waist, and his now-flaccid cock still tucked inside you. You grimace. Jungkook had always fallen fast asleep after sex, but now you are wide awake, hyperaware as he snores behind you. You don’t know what you’ve become. You hate him. But sometimes he says things that make you wish he wasn’t a monster, that make you wish he was the boy with soft smiles and expressive eyes that you had fallen in love with. You live for the resurgences of that humanity, because it is the only thing you have to look forward to, apart from the eventual day when Jungkook finally snaps and kills you.
~~~~
“Jungkook,” you say over breakfast, and he looks up with his cheeks full of pancake.
“Yes, my angel?” He asks, eyes twinkling — he loves when you say his name — and your breath catches, and for a second everything is perfect and you are having breakfast across from a boy who loves you more than anything. And then you see the annoyed glint in his eye — you hadn’t immediately answered his question — and you come crashing back to bitter reality.
“I-” You start, then stop, unsure of how to phrase the question into a compliment, that way Jungkook is more likely to give you what you want.
“Say what you want to say, baby. You know how I hate to be kept waiting…” He gives you a shark’s smile.
“I… I really loved all the books you gave me.” You tell him, making sure your voice is exactly the correct tone of gushing admiration.
“Really?” He replies, a pleased expression on his face as he strokes your hair back gently.
“Yes, and I- I was wondering if maybe… I could have some more?”
His hand drifts down to rest at the hollow of your throat. It curls slightly.
“N-not that I’m not grateful-” You stammer, “B-But… I liked them all so much I read them too quickly, and now I have nothing else to do with you’re gone.” You end the statement with a playful pout, and you feel your self-loathing level up a notch.
“Baby, you have to remember to take your time with things like that.” Jungkook grinned, standing up and getting his briefcase. You move to the door where you are supposed to administer a farewell kiss before he goes to work, just like always.
He smiles, satisfied, before looking sideways slightly so you can get up on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek. He reaches around to squeeze your ass quickly, smirking when you squeak in shock.
“Don’t be greedy baby, take what you’re given.” He tosses a ‘Love you!’ over his shoulder as he goes, and when you call it back the words taste sour on your tongue. You wonder if you had ever uttered those words sincerely.
~~~~
You had been thinking Jungkook had forgotten about your request for books, so when the doorbell rings at six o clock and you answer it to see a cute delivery boy with a bundle of books tucked under his arm, you are surprised to say the least.
“D-Delivery for Jeon Jungkook?” He stutters, and you had been expecting him to have a slightly high, nervous voice so the deep, thick drawl shocks you in more ways than one. You can feel yourself melt just looking at him. His eyes are so… innocent, just like Jungkook’s when you first saw him. His nose cutely scrunches as his blond hair — longer than Jungkook’s — falls in soft clumps over his eyes. He huffs a lopsided breath and the light strands flutter about momentarily, before settling back just where they were. You think you’ve fallen in love.
You realise you’ve been staring at him this entire time, but to be fair, he has been staring right back, and you feel yourself become flustered.
“Uh, yeah, that’s me. That’s my package.”
“Sorry ma’am,” He starts in his honey voice, before grinning. He seems to gain confidence due to your flustered state. “-but this package is addressed to a Mr Jeon Jungkook, and you certainly don’t look like a ‘Mr’.” He mutters as his eyes drag up and down your form. You are only in your nightie — Jungkook always likes it when you wear pretty, flimsy things — and this stranger’s gaze is making you blush in a way you know Jungkook wouldn’t be happy about.
“Yeah, that’s… uh, that’s my husband. Jeon Jungkook.”
“Your husband, huh?” The delivery boy does not seem put off by the mention of a husband, in fact, he seems almost spurred on by it. “And where is Mr Jeon Jungkook right now?”
“He’s working late. He would normally be back by now but he called and said he’s spending the night at the office.”
“Working late, huh?” The delivery boy repeats in that cocky drawl, and oddly enough, it reminds you of Jungkook. “You know, if I had a wife like you waiting for me to come home, I don’t know if I’d even make it out of bed long enough to go to work in the morning, let alone stay there overnight.”
Your eyes widen as your cheeks darken, and his open, bright laughter is the nicest thing you’ve heard in months.
“What happened to the nervous delivery boy?” You spluttered indignantly, and his laughing slowed down, though his eyes were still twinkling. Just like Jungkook’s used to do.
“He relaxed when he realised you were just as affected by him as he was by you.”
“Who says I’m affected by you?” You ask boldly, and then immediately retreat a step when he moves towards you.
“You’re giving yourself away, sweetheart.” He smirks, before advancing another step into your home. “You know… empty house… husband at work… it seems a waste not to use this opportunity.” He waggles his eyebrows at you, and you scoff, forcing him back with both hands until he is outside the door again. He lets you push him with a brow raised lazily.
“That sounded like a line from a bad porno, and I’m pretty sure Jungkook would literally kill me if he found out.” You fake a laugh, covering up your very real and valid fear that Jungkook would actually kill you.
“Jungkook’s the possessive type, huh?”
Yes, you scream internally.
“Well, I’m pretty sure no husband would like delivery boys sleeping with their wives.”
“What about delivery boys visiting their wives during the day?”
You pause, hands floating in midair, about to take the parcel out of the delivery boy’s hands.
“Huh?”
“I could come around in the day while your husband’s at work-” He sped up when you raised your brows, “-not to do anything, or at least, anything that you’re uncomfortable with, but just to talk. I can tell you’re lonely.” You scoff and roll your eyes, ignoring the fact that he’s absolutely correct. You turn back to him, ready to decline his offer, when you see his puppy eyes. Your resolve crumbles.
“I don’t know,” You had no way of telling what punishments Jungkook would submit you to if he found out. He didn’t even let you talk to your parents, so you could hardly imagine he’d be pleased with you chatting to young, attractive men while alone at your house.
“Come on!” The delivery boy wheedled. “He’d never know. He’s practically asking for it, he leaves you alone day after day, all you have for company are these stupid books!” A dismissive gesture to the collection of Austen, Dickens and Shakespeare you are carrying. “Aren’t you bored? Don’t you want a little excitement?”
You tiredly fumble around for an excuse.
“I don’t even know your name.”
“My name’s Taehyung.” He introduces himself promptly. “I’d like to visit you tomorrow at lunch time, if that’s alright.”
“You sure you don’t have a delivery then?” You ask hopefully.
“I don’t.”
You release a weary sigh.
“You’re going to come no matter what I say, aren’t you?” He responds with a blinding grin.
“I love that we’re learning things about each other! You can already anticipate my actions,” He starts listing off ‘facts’ on his fingers, “you know my name, I know you’re trapped in an unsatisfying marriage-”
“I’ll see you tomorrow Taehyung.” You shut the door firmly, cutting him off.
You hear a muffled ‘can’t wait!’ from the other side of the door and if you happen to blush and giggle like a lovesick schoolgirl it doesn’t matter because no one else is there and therefore it cannot be proved.
~~~~
Taehyung starts paying you regular visits. He keeps up his job obligations even when he’s off the clock, bringing you food that Jungkook wouldn’t let you eat, newspapers since Jungkook doesn’t let you know what was going on in the outside world, and even snapshots of his day.
Taehyung is an aspiring photographer. He has a small apartment outside of the city and an obsession with strawberries and a dog called Yeontan. He has a life, a life that you are desperately beginning to yearn for. Taehyung tells you once that he wishes he could take a photo of you outside, because he knows this perfect spot — a field full of wildflowers and sunshine that would compliment your beauty perfectly — and you burst into tears.
You tell him, as he rocks you gently in his arms, that you are trapped by Jungkook. That you hate your husband more than anything. That you can’t remember the last time you felt the sun on your skin. And so, quietly, carefully, the two of you begin to plot.
It is not as simple as calling the police. Jungkook has enough money that there is no crime he cannot buy his way out of, no officer he cannot bribe into submission. No, you have to disappear completely. You begin passing along your possessions to Taehyung so he can take them back to his place, gradually, so that Jungkook doesn’t notice you are withdrawing from his life one pair of shoes at a time.
You daren’t risk taking any money of Jungkook, but Taehyung tells you it isn’t a problem, which is slightly strange since you know Taehyung must have quit his delivery boy job so that he could see you every day, and surely he could do with some extra cash. You tell yourself it’s sweet that he doesn’t care about material things, he just cares about you.
“What are these?” Jungkook asks one morning, when he is greeted not with eggs sunny side up and a kiss, but a stack of papers.
“A divorce contract.” You tell him, trying to ignore the waver in your voice. He only raises an eyebrow at you, and you blanch.
You had been expecting yelling, threats, maybe even violence. Taehyung had begged you to just leave without a trace, and abandon Jungkook to his own horrid life of loneliness, but you just can’t do that, even if it is the safer option. There is still a small, pathetic part of you that clings to the idea of Kookie, the boy with wire-rimmed glasses and carefree smiles who always accepted your help with questions he couldn’t answer. Even though you know that side of him is now long-dead, if it ever even existed in the first place.
However, Jungkook is currently subverting all of your expectations. He sits there calmly, leafing through the papers.
“These don’t make any sense.” He remarks. You attempt to snatch them back, but he holds them out of your reach.
“Yes, well, I wasn’t really expecting you to read them.” You reply, embarrassed. The fake contract had been your idea, a way of telling Jungkook you wanted a divorce without actually saying the words. Of course, you had expected him to fling them into the fire, or something equally as dramatic, not read through them carefully and snort at all the typos.
“I understand.” He declares eventually. “You want my attention, so you’re pretending that you want to leave me. Very funny, baby.”
“That’s not true!” You burst out, cheeks burning. “I am leaving you, divorce contract or not.”
“Hush, baby, you know I don’t like it when you lie.” Jungkook purrs, his eyes burning dangerously.
“I don’t care what you like anymore, Jungkook.” You respond, suddenly furious, “I’ve spent so many years as your wife, being terrified by you, being controlled and miserable. Now I’ve got Taehyung, and I’m finally happy! I love him, Jungkook, not you. I’m leaving.”
You turn away and storm to the door, but hesitate when you hear Jungkook chuckle.
“If you think you are liberating yourself by going to Kim Taehyung… you are wrong, baby.”
“H-How do you know his family name?” You ask, fear starting to invade your mind.
“I know a lot of things about Mr Kim,” Jungkook spits, and his anger starts to bleed through. “He is not who you think he is, baby. Are you sure you want to go?” His patronising tone is the last straw for you.
“I’d rather die than stay here with you.”
“Who knows, baby, Mr Kim might just fulfil your wish.” You blanch again, hesitating with your hand on the lock, a breath away from freedom.
“Y-You’re just trying to scare me.” You stutter, and you hear him sigh behind you.
“No, baby, I’m trying to warn you, but you insist on being so, so dumb. I don’t like to see you hurt, remember? But, if this will teach you a lesson about how lucky you are to have me, I guess I’ll have to let you go. Just remember, baby, when you’re with him and it’s not all you expect it to be, I will be coming for you.” As he speaks, he rises from his seat and moves across the room until he is right behind you, his breath ghosting on the back of your neck as you stubbornly refuse to turn, hand still poised on the latch.
“I’m not coming back.” You whisper, and you feel a huff of laughter against your neck.
“No, baby, I’ll rescue you, and take you back. I promise, you’ll be counting the days until you’re in my arms again.”
~~~~
Jungkook watches from the window as your harried form disappears into the distance. Cursing softly to himself, he turns on his phone and pulls up a number he is loathe to possess.
“So, she left you, huh?” A cocky voice drawls across the line.
“Shut it, Kim.” Jungkook snaps, “She’s still my wife, she still belongs to me.”
“Oh? You didn’t sign the divorce papers?”
“Yes, very funny by the way, Kim. ‘I hereby announce that Kim Taehyung has been our mother’s favourite from the moment of his conception.’ You should’ve become a comic instead of a criminal.” Jungkook reads a line from the fake files.
“Well, I could say the same to you, baby brother, allowing your wife to leave you like this. It’s the funniest thing I’ve heard in years.”
“Half-brother.” Jungkook growls. “And she hasn’t left me.”
“The tracker I planted on her begs to differ.”
“She’s just…” Jungkook huffs, “Confused.”
“No, she’s just got good taste, obviously.”
“You really are pathetic, stealing your little brother’s toys like this, hyung.” Jungkook taunts. “Soon, very soon, I’m going to come and get her back. I better not find her too broken when I get there.”
Jungkook hangs up, mutters a curse under his breath, and then starts planning the inevitable gang war he’s going to have to embroil himself in because his wife can’t keep her damn legs closed.
#yandere#Yandere jungkook#yandere bts#yandere jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook#bts jungkook#jungkook#jungkook x reader#yandere kpop#yandere taehyung#yandere taehyung x reader#bts taehyung#bts taehyung x reader#bts fanfic#bts fic#bts fanfiction#bts smut#jungkook smut
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Ina x MC: A Small Detour
Ina x MC: A Small Detour
This is the second fic in my series loosely based on Queen B chapters. This one is based on chapter 2. The first one of my series is here: The Dance.
Summary: Luna finds Ina in an interesting and unexpected place.
Warnings: Fluff!
Tag: @samanthadalton
Author’s Notes: Happy Tuesday! Not super happy with the ending, but hope you enjoy!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Luna walked briskly down the street towards the grocery store. She had failed to meet one Belvoire student who could actually cook for themselves. And the exception did not lie with Zoey. Luckily, the two had made a deal as soon as Luna had opened the fridge for the first time, where she found thirty mini bottles of Prosecco and not one food item. As long as Zoey kept the Prosecco coming, Luna would make dinner on the days they didn’t order food. And thus, Luna adventured to the grocery store in search of ingredients for a ‘gourmet’ dinner.
Luna found it extremely difficult to not think of Ina, or rather, Professor Kingsley. The Ina she had met at the bar, the Ina who she danced with until the early hours of the morning, the Ina she had passionately kissed at the diner had been swept away by a stoic, reticent and stuffy Professor Kingsley. Was it even possible to go from 100 to 0 real quick? If so, that’s how their relationship had plummeted, Luna reflected silently.
She could see the grocery store’s bright sign illuminating from a block away. She picked up the pace, encouraged that she had gone in the right direction. New York City was a busy place, and it was way too easy to get lost, especially for newcomers like herself. As she went down the sidewalk, she looked at each store along the block as a way to familiarize herself. She looked up and found a neon sign spelling The Retro Arcade.
Arcades are for nerds! Luna thought and chuckled.
Her laughter was cut short by a loud shriek followed by an even louder thud. Luna’s head swiveled vigorously as she looked for the source of the noise. It had come from inside the arcade. As she turned to look for the child who had made such a racket, instead, she found herself standing face-to-face with none other than Ina Kingsley.
Ina’s face flushed in embarrassment. For one, Luna had caught her in an arcade. But even more embarrassing was how Ina stood against the Donkey Kong machine clutching her toe. The same toe that she had kicked against the machine in frustration that her little Mario figure had been killed by Donkey Kong’s barrels.
Ina watched and sighed as Luna made her way into the arcade. As if this situation could get any more embarrassing, she thought.
“Why hello there, Professor,” Luna said with the slightest smirk on her face. Ina could only sigh once more. “Yes. Hello Luna. I guess you’ve caught me,” Ina said dejectedly. “Caught you from what exactly?” Luna asked. “My guilty pleasure and stress buster, I suppose. I guess you wouldn’t expect your professor to be playing arcade games on a Saturday afternoon,” Ina said. Luna laughed aloud. “Well...no. But there’s nothing wrong with arcades. Do you come often?” Luna asked. Ina’s face lit up at the approval of arcade games. “Almost weekly if I’m not too busy.” Ina responded through a smile. And all Luna could think was, dAmN what a NERD!
But she held herself together. At least for now.
Ina noticed Luna’s pensive, yet amused gaze on the arcade game. And just like that, Ina read her like a book. “...you’ve never played Donkey Kong before,” Ina realized. Luna could only laugh at her professor’s high intuition and perceptiveness. “Honestly, I’ve never even heard of it,” Luna admitted. Ina’s jaw dropped out of bewilderment as she turned to fully face Luna. “What! How have you not heard of Donkey Kong! It’s just about the most iconic arcade game ever! It’s Nintendo’s-” Ina said exasperated, but she was cut off promptly. “Professor, I didn’t ask for a lecture on Donkey Kong! Plus, I’ve played that yellow dude with the ghosts game!” Ina looked at Luna stunned. “Ummm....Pac-Man!!” Luna exclaimed. Ina hummed in disapproval. “Come on. That’s so basic. Donkey Kong - it’s pure skill. Come here. Let me show you.”
Luna was not one to turn down Ina’s request. She saw that the Ina she was fascinated by was not only alive at night, but maybe even on weekends too. Any other time, she was stuck with the upright Professor Kingsley.
~
Ina played the first round, showing Luna the basics: the controls, the premise, the things to watch for. Once Ina felt that Luna understood how to play, she let Mario get killed by Donkey Kong and stepped aside to make room for Luna.
The game began slowly and Luna successfully jumped over many barrels. But as the pace picked up, Luna suddenly felt overwhelmed. There were way too many things happening at once.
“Ina, help me!“ she yelped. Luna galloped away from the game. Simply put, it was fun until it wasn’t. Ina then came in to help Luna out. She kept in a laugh; to her, the game was still in its easy stages.
Ina stared at the screen, enraptured by the game as she had actually accumulated a relatively high score after taking over for Luna.
But it soon came crashing down. And again, like clockwork, Ina let out a howl. This time however, she learned her lesson. That machine was in fact stronger and sturdier than her foot. And instead, she kicked out to the side. Except this time, Luna was standing there.
“OWW!!!”
“Oh crap.”
It was a bittersweet disaster in slow motion. Luna was falling to the ground in pain, and at the last second, Ina swooped her from near collapse and held her in her arms. The pair stared at each other for only a couple of seconds, but to them both, it felt almost like a lifetime. Luna got lost in Ina’s eyes; they were so profound and full of affection. Finally, Ina cleared her throat. Luna sat up straight as Ina let her out of her arms.
“Are you okay?” Ina asked. She felt really bad for kicking Luna. Even if it wasn’t exactly a hard kick, she’d still hurt her. To Ina’s surprise, Luna was laughing on the side.
“Why are you laughing? I just kicked you!” Ina smiled. “The whole situation! You know, you’re such a ner- never mind,” Luna retracted. “I’m such a what!” Ina demanded. “When I passed by the arcade, all I could think was...arcade goers are nerds!” Luna laughed again.
Ina was slightly annoyed by her statement, and grumbled slightly. Then a small smile played at her lips. “If arcade goers are nerds, then why are you still in here,” Ina retorted. Luna pouted a little. “I guess...maybe, possibly, I might be a nerd,” Luna admitted. “I know,” Ina smirked. “Stop smirking like that! You’re such a nerd too!” Luna proclaimed. Ina sighed, but she knew it was true.
Ina was the first to get up. She reached out to Luna and helped her up. Luna scanned the arcade to see if there was anything she wanted to play. Then she saw it. In the corner, there was a small photo booth.
“Ina! Come on,“ Luna pleaded. Ina had no idea where she was being led to, but she took Luna’s hand. At first she was disappointed that it was a photo booth and not an arcade game, but she then realized how much fun photo booths actually were. All the different effects, all the crazy backgrounds, all the face filters... Ina smiled a little and proceeded to head inside the booth with Luna.
~
“Okay, here’s how we’re gonna do it,“ Luna stated. “First one is serious. Second one we’re trying one of those filters. Third one is funny. Fourth one...let’s just play it by ear.“
The first picture was like a mugshot of two people. Ina laughed at its hilarity as she searched for a filter to put. She found one with dog ears and a snout and thought it was appropriate. The second picture came out how middle schoolers would take pictures with their friends using Snapchat filters.
At this point, Ina was running out of ideas for pictures. At times, she was far from a creative soul. And for the third picture, she went with the classic bunny ears behind Luna’s head. Luna doubled over, laughing. She could barely make out the words “Really Ina? Bunny ears?” through her laughter.
Finally, her laughter ceased, much to Ina’s relief. And neither had an idea what to do for the final picture. 3...2...
In a panic, Luna put her head on Ina’s shoulders. For a moment, Ina tensed up. But then she leaned into Luna’s touch and put an arm around her. This was by far the best picture. Both women had big smiles on their faces as they cuddled next to each other.
Even after the photo was taken, the two lingered on each other. If it weren’t for the startling sound of the machine printing out the four photos, who knows how long the two could’ve stayed in that position. Finally, they pulled away from each other as Ina reached for the two sets of copies of the photos. She handed one to Luna, and both women smiled as they looked upon the reel.
“Can I admit something?” Ina asked. “Of course,“ Luna replied. “Remember when you saw me through the window?” Ina recalled. “Well, how could I forget, you were so mad you lost.” “I admit, I am very competitive. But I only lost because well, I was distracted,” Ina smiled sheepishly. “How so?” Luna inquired.
“I saw from the corner of my eye a pretty lady. I was distracted. By you.”
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Mass Effect Tag
Wellio, I’ve been tagged by @berryshiara. Passing this on to @grummel83
Gunna answer my questions now. Y’all feel free to tell me what you think of these answers.
I’m a fan since: 2008. I was just out of high school and still not over KoTOR. I was fresh in the army and got to talking to some other dude fresh to the army about video games. He asked me if I played Mass Effect. I said no. By the next day I just about totally forgot about him, then he suddenly appeared out of nowhere sat in front of me in the chow hall and pulled a copy of ME1 for Xbox 360 out his pocket like he was a magician doing a magic trick (ACU pockets are huge.)
Anyway turns out that guy was a romance option and I must have picked the right dialogue options. I’m still with him, too.
Favorite game of the series:
Mass Effect 2. It seemed like that’s the one where choices mattered most and you really got to know your squaddies. Also MAJOR gameplay improvements over the first game. And that game gave me the most freedom to do basically whatever I wanted and wasnt afraid to give me consequences for it.
MShep or FShep:
FShep. Nothing against MShep, but for me the real Shep is FShep. Can’t beat Jennifer Hale’s voice.
Earthborn, Colonist, or Spacer:
Colonist. I like having the background of knowing just how dangerous the galaxy can be and how the Alliance can’t be everywhere at once so sometimes you need to manage your best on your own.
Biotics or Tech:
Both.
Paragon or Renegade:
Paragon, mostly. I tried being renegade but some of the actions are just so pointlessly dickish, or even outright unhinged in a way that would make it impossible to believe the Alliance would ever promote Shepard as an officer or even keep her in the Alliance at all, especially in the first game.
That said, there are times where a renegade action is more expedient and practical than a paragon one, like in 2 when you stab a dude in the back to prevent him from repairing an enemy gunship, so even with a paragon playthrough, my Shepard will have no issues taking that opportunity. She’s already seconds away from betraying all those guys anyway.
Paragon in treatment of others, renegade in combat pragmatism.
Favorite Class:
I play as infiltrator and vanguard.
Infiltrator is great for using a sniping and opening loot, and then for going invisible, and if I remember right AI hacking too. That’s cool and I wish there were more genuine opportunities for stealth.
Nowadays I play as Vanguard in my playthroughs mainly just so my Shepard can be canonically biotic for story reasons. From 2 on when looting no longer needs a special skill and I get to charge around the map. I don’t really care much about using biotics (that’s what the squadies are for) but the movement is super useful (when Shepard actually does the thing instead of just standing out in the open soaking up bullets until the ability decides to actually work.)
Favorite Companion:
Garrus. I like to set him up in sniper positions. When he actually STAYS where I put him instead of running straight up to enemies to try to snipe them at point blank, he’s great.
Also his quips in 2 on are pretty entertaining.
Least Favorite Companion:
Garrus, Oh my god. Go back to the sniper position where I put you. Leave tanking to krogan; you do not have the HP for this.
Also Kaidan in ME1. He can not shoot to save his life - literally.
My Squad Selection:
For all ME1 playthroughs after my first one, Ashley and Kaidan, just of their comments and because... well... I only have so much time with them.
Apart from that I mainly just pick my team based on who’s likely to have the most interesting commentary on whatever the mission happens to be, squad balance be damned.
Favorite In-Game Romance:
Garrus X Shepard is my favorite love story. They are just so adorable together and always supportive even when they disagree.
But my cannon romance is Kaidan X Shepard for the drama and angst.
Favorite NPC:
In ME1 there’s this random Turian on Noveria who randomly has like a New York accent and I absolutely adore him. He plays basically no part in the story other than some minor information but he’s just so pleasant to speak to.
“If you need anything, I’ll be here.”
Favorite Antagonist:
Morinth, the Ardat-Yakshi daughter of Samara. Yes, she’s a murderous vampire who will absolutely kill you given the chance... but like, it’s a medical condition. And I really can’t help but feel for ardat-yakshi in general when their only options are to spend their whole lives on the run from justicars out to execute them, or waste their entire 1000 year lifespan imprisoned in a monetary unable to experience the world at all. Yeah, Morinth is evil, but Ardat-Yakshi don’t exactly have a good deal.
Favorite Loyalty Mission:
Grunt’s loyalty mission is the best. I get to help my baby boy, reunite with Wrex, enjoy krogan society being fleshed out, have a kickass battle against a thresher maw, and get a breeding request. It’s nice to have a quest that isn’t about family drama and genuinely gets a happy end.
Favorite Mission:
Despite Citadel DLC requiring everyone to have a deathgrip on an idiot ball, and also basically gloss over some really dark stuff, the whole clone storyline with the whole crew is an absolute ride all the way though, with lots of interesting and unique scenarios, a ton of replay-value, and funny party banter that feels like it came straight out of a Marvel movie.
Favorite DLC:
Again, Citadel DLC. Not only did it come with the story above, it also had all those interactions with past and present crewmates, including a memorial for Thane (finally!), a cool apartment to hang out in, a party, an arcade, and an awesome battle arena. It really added a TON. Also, it’s nice to see Bioware figure out that DLC needs characters - I’m remembering back in the DLC to ME 1 the party never had a single thing to say, no matter what was going on. The fun and wacky Citadel DLC is a far cry from the serious and somewhat dark space opera Mass Effect started as, but as the final DLC capping off the end of the series, it gets to do a silly victory lap (and get the taste of the ending out of our mouths.)
Control, Synthesis, Or Destroy:
No.
Favorite Weapon:
Sniper rifles, whatever I have that’s fast and has high damage output. Also that one pistol that shoots tiny energy grenades. Pew pew.
Yeah I wasn’t really big into the weapons so much. I’m here to get my story on.
Favorite Place:
The presidium on the Citadel. It bothered me a lot when I couldn’t explore it in the second game. I know it would have been terribly impractical, but as the presidium is just a huge ring, it would have been cool to be able to explore the whole thing, going past all the little park areas, shops, monuments and so on until you loop aaaaall the way back around to where you started. Like, how cool would it be if the ring had a running track? Maybe C-sec academy trainees would be spotted jogging together along it in formation. And can you imagine grabbing a coffee (I was going to make up a space-related name for Starbucks but it’s already STARbucks...) and taking a nice stroll along the water before finding a nice bench to alien-watch from? Other locations in the game are like great places to explore and do gameplay stuff, but the presidium seems like a nice place to just be.
Favorite Quote:
"Stand in the ashes of a trillion dead souls and ask the ghosts if honor matters. The silence is your answer." - Javik.
This is such a fucking raw damn line. It makes me think a lot about Cerberus. When ME3 wasn’t out yet, I thought maybe the plan was Shepard would at some point choose a side, Alliance for paragons and Cerberus for renegades. It would have been so cool to have morality not merely be good vs evil, but idealism vs that ruthless calculus Garrus mentioned. How fucking raw would it be if Cerberus wasn’t just generically evil for no reason and suddenly indoctrinated but really were embodying that ruthless calculus, determined to defeat the reapers at any and all cost. Maybe Cerberus actions’ were more likely to do terrible things for the sake of ultimate victory, doing whatever it took, whereas the Alliance would be less willing to make the terrible choices and ultimately be less likely to succeed.
Now obviously, that’s not what happened, as it would have required Bioware to basically make two entirely separate games. But that line from Javik makes me think of that concept, and a universe where like Dragon Age party members can approve or disapprove of actions not merely as good or evil but along the lines of their personal values. I think Javik would sit at victory at all cost.
Also that one mission in 2 where some random NPC catches Shepard sneaking around and is all like ‘what are you doing here?’ and Shepard is like ‘What am I doing here? What are you doing here? Get out here before it blows!’ and the guy’s freaking out like WTF and she says ‘RUN!’ then laughs to herself as he flees from an imaginary bomb. Shep you troll.
The thing I like the least about the entire franchise:
The misogyny and objectification that crept its way in, epically from the second game on. Really didn’t like those ass-shot camera angles, or female characters being slut-shamed in-universe for the clothes the designers made them wear. Yikes.
But the biggest yikes for me in that regard is actually the reveal in 3 that the prothians guided asari development. That was fine and all, but the part that bothered me was the characters commenting “ooooh, so that’s why asari are so advanced,” as it was ever any kind of mystery before that exact moment. For one thing, asari aren’t really shown as being more advanced than anyone else, apart from having discovered the citadel first, and for second, why wouldn’t asari be advanced? All the way from ME1 it’s established that 1: Asari live for a really long time, and 2: can instant transmit information directly from brain to brain. That means they have long lifetime in which to accumulate knowledge and experience, and also can easily spread and preserve that knowledge without even the need for books. That ALONE should put them ahead. And even with all that, they only barely beat the salarians to discovering the Citadel first. But no one asks for an explanation for why salarians, who live only a few decades and can’t do mental data-transfer, are so advanced. No, only the success of the all-women race needs explaining. It was just one moment but it still bugs me.
Also the general loss of realism after the second game. First game everyone gets armor, including full-face helmets automatically on in environments that need it. After that, people can apparently just wander the battlefield half-naked and even somehow survive in a total vacuum if they just put a plastic cup (that isn’t even connected to anything) over their mouth and nose. In the first game they at least made up some reasonable-sounding science fiction explanation for things, but after that it’s like F-it everything is just space magic now.
Oh, and those repetitive unlocking stuff minigames. I use a mod to just skip those.
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Better | Bucky Barnes x Reader (Epilogue 1)
My Masterlist
Series Masterlist
Summary: Meet Portia.
Word Count: 3483
Pairing: Doctor!Bucky x Doctor!Reader, Wanda, Natasha, Sam, Steve, Pepper
Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Abuse, Childbirth, Premature Baby
A/N: I’d like to thank @take-me-to-ny for the idea of the first half of this epilogue. I know you’ve all been looking forward to finally meeting Portia and her time has come!
2 Years Later...
His heavy eyes were glued to the cardiac monitor before him and his soft pink lips parted slightly when he let out a shaky breath. He blinked away the slumber that threatened his eyelids as he looked over at Sharon Carter. “Push one of epi.” Dr. Barnes was rather hopeful as he watched the nurse push the syringe of Epinephrine into the premature infant’s delicate body, his eyes darting back to the monitor before he let out another sigh of disappointment. “No change. Heart rate’s at a thirty.” He knew that at twenty weeks, it was highly unlikely for this newborn to survive. At this rate, she probably had another hour or two before he would have to call it. But Bucky was not willing to give up, at least not yet.
The Dr. Barnes who had once claimed to have a cold dead heart would have given up at this point. But he was a different man now. Gone were his signature locks of dark hair? His beard rarely made an appearance nowadays, for he was always clean shaven. Rumor had it that it was his wife, the other Dr. Barnes, had once told him that she preferred his clean shave over the light stubble. Apparently, he had been shaving every single morning ever since in order to keep his wife happy. A husband of every woman’s dream, he really was.
His wedding band had been removed from his left ring finger when he had gotten into work that morning, but the tan mark was still quite evident. It had been burned into his skin by now, reminding everyone he came across that he was a married man. He was no longer the carefree Casanova of the hospital or the workaholic who always snooped around the premises to find a reason not to go home after his shift ended. He had built himself a whole life away from work now.
“She’s not going to make it, is she, doc?”
Bucky shook his head at Sharon. “At this rate, she could only keep going on for another hour or two.” He informed with a frown. “But I’m not giving up that easily...” He was well aware that both the mother and the father of this preemie were currently in surgery, having suffered a handful of serious injuries. They had been brought into the ER after an unfortunate car accident, causing Pepper to perform an emergency c-section on the mother to save their little one. He was unsure if either one of three of them would survive at this point, but he was hopeful. He was sure that her parents would want her to survive this and live on. After all, as a father to be himself, he would always want his child to live on. Knowing what it meant to be a father had really changed his perspective on how to be a doctor. Once again, he would give you the credit for making him better. “We still haven’t tried the oldest treatment in the book.”
Sharon had given the man a look of utter confusion, for she had been sure that they had tried everything that was medically possible to ensure that this newborn survives the day. She saw the numbers; she knew how common it was. Preemies who were delivered so early rarely make it through the first twenty four hours after birth. “What treatment?”
“I mean the treatment that a mother should always give her child.” He replied with a soft chuckle, tugging off his bright pink NICU gown. “But in this case, it will have to be me...”
Her eyes grew wide as she watched him remove his scrub shirt and toss is aside. “Bucky, what the hell are you doing?”
“Shhh!” He was quick to place his index finger against his lips. “Have you ever heard of the kangaroo care? Kangaroos keep their babies against their bodies. Skin on skin contact is proven to help newborns thrive. You know, that’s why babies are often laid on the mother’s chest right after they’re born. We encourage skin on skin contact to... allow for the mother and child to have this bond, yes, but also because of physiological reasons. This method was used long before incubators were invented and it is a lot more effective.” He told her. His large hands were gentle as they scooped up the tiny human; her head was barely the size of the palm of his hand. But he held her gently against his bare chest. “When I hold her like this, she’s able to... feel my warmth and her body picks it up too. She can feel my heart beating against her and... her little heart would also pick it up.” He motioned towards the monitor, the numbers finally having changed as the infant’s heart rate began to increase. “See that? This little one’s not ready to give up.”
“Oh... wow. That’s crazy... that’s amazing, she just... she’s really... I can’t believe I never knew about this until now.” The blonde haired nurse was slightly surprised, but she turned over to look at him when a smile. “You’re going to be such a good dad and you know that, right? You’re going to be the best dad in this whole entire world, man. You’re... so prepared and so... good with kids. You’re so good with kids. I still remember when Sarah was born and Steve made you the godfather. Boy, you were terrified about the responsibility but now, you’re... you’re going to be the best dad.”
Bucky let out a chuckle as he paced slowly back and forth, looking down at the newborn as he spoke softly. “Hey, little one... I know it’s scary, I know you’re fighting... but you’re not alone, no. I got you... I’m here and... We’re going to get through this, okay? We’ll get through this together.” Holding onto this child at that moment, he could not help but wonder how it would feel to hold his own child in his hands one day. He had finally finished with the nursery last night and it was only a matter of time until you went into labor. He was excited for this new chapter in life, for fatherhood and for the two of you to have your little family.
As he was snapped out of his thoughts, he was quick to notice that he had managed to gather a small audience within the NICU. It was only a matter of seconds before a crowd had formed outside as well, those who passed by the NICU pressing their faces against the window to get a better look at the handsome doctor who stood shirtless with a newborn child. What a show! Some of the other nurses who had been keeping an eye on the newborns watched him rather fondly, the older ones nodding with approval. They were all aware that this man’s wife, their beloved Y/N, was due to give birth in a day or two.
Sam had been the first one to walk into the NICU in search of Sharon, his brows furrowed at the sight of his shirtless friend before his lips curled into a smirk. “I thought Y/N was the one who was pregnant. When did you start to lactate?” He asked with a mocking tone in his voice, leaning in to peck his girlfriend’s lips. “Hey beautiful.”
“Hi.” Sharon giggled at his remark.
“I’m saving a life here, Wilson.” He had told him with an eye roll.
“Right, you’re saving one life and... killing all the ladies.”
Then it had been Natasha, who had followed Sam into the NICU and just stood there with her hands on her hips. “Yeah... that’s right, fellas. My best friend bangs all of that!” She had announced as she motioned towards Bucky before turning to see the small crowd of interns. “Let’s move along! The abs and the man have been off the market for ages!”
Bucky let out another laugh as he walked up to her. “Romanoff, really?”
“You know, I just overheard an intern telling another one that you were standing half naked in the NICU. I just needed to see it to believe it.” She told him with a laugh. “Man, you do love a good audience, don’t you?”
Continuing to pace back and forth, he rolled his eyes at her. “I’m only doing what is professionally necessary, Natasha. I’m giving skin on skin contact to a newborn whose parents are both in surgery. It’s as simple as that.” As he turned over towards the door, his lips curled into a smile at the sight of you walking up to him. He had always believed that it was a myth for a woman to be glowing during pregnancy. But he had come to learn how true it was seeing you like this.
“Professionally necessary... right.” Sam snickered, hearing the commotion behind him and turning around to see you. “Of course, they run when they know they can’t be ogling at you with your wife around...”
Nine months pregnant and glowing as brightly as ever, your hand resting protectively over your bump as your swollen feet treaded across the tiled floor of the NICU. You smiled when you saw your husband, the way he stood shirtless with a newborn pressed against his chest making your heart swell. “Oh God...” You felt your eyes glaze over. “Is that the preemie?”
He gave you a nod. “Yeah, it’s her. She’s a little fighter.”
“Steve and Tony told me to let you know that the parents are okay. The police have contacted the family and they should be here soon.” You informed him, quickly wiping away your tears. “Sorry, my hormones are really...” Seeing that baby only made you want your baby to come sooner. You knew that it would only be a less than a week until your little girl would be born. But seeing Bucky like this did not help much.
Natasha watched you for a moment before wrapping her arm around you. “Seeing him like this just gets the oxytocin going, doesn’t it?”
You winced slightly as you felt a trickle down your legs, your eyes growing wide at the realization of what had just happened. Your cheeks heated up in embarrassment, but you could care less about it. “Oh yeah... it sure does.” You looked over at Nat and then at Sam, swallowing the lump in your throat as you looked down at your feet. “Um... shit. This is really happening. This is really happening right now.” Who would have thought that seeing your husband shirtless and holding a newborn would cause you to go into labor?
“Oh shit, Y/N!” Natasha gasped as she looked down at your feet before looking back up at Bucky. “Barnes, why don’t you let the nurses take over for you and put your fucking shirt on?”
Bucky’s eyes grew wide as he quickly nodded, handing his little patient to Sharon and reaching for his scrub shirt. “Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! Thank God, this happened down the hall from Pepper’s office.”
One of the other nurses brought over a wheelchair for you to sit down.
“James!” You reached for his hand as he quickly put his shirt on, the tears continuing to stream down your face. “James, I can’t. I can’t... what if I’m not a good mom? What if... what if I turn out to be just like her? What if I... what if I ruin her life?”
“Are you out of your mind?!” Nat scolded you as she began pushing the wheelchair out of the NICU. “Honey, you’re going to be the best mom on the whole fucking planet. And look at this one; he’s going around giving skin on skin contact to these preemies. Just imagine how much more he’d do to your own kid.”
You knew that she was right. Your James was a perfect man in every way and you knew that he would be the best father your child could have asked for. “I know... but-”
“Y/N...” He cut you off as he stopped Nat from pushing your wheelchair and knelt down to reach you. His hands cupped your tear stained cheeks. “Hey, listen to me... we’re going to do this right now and we’re going to do this for the rest of our lives. We’re going to be the best parents our little angel could have asked for, because we’re better than that. We’re better together and we’re going to do this together, okay?”
You looked down at him as you sniffled, nodding your head slightly. “Promise me that she won’t ever... ever be put in a position where she would need to jump out of her bedroom window because freezing to death seemed to be a better option than living with us.”
“I promise... and you know, I’d never break that promise. I’ll love her more than I love you and I’ll always show her how much she’s loved.” He told you as he wiped away your tears with his thumbs. “I won’t let her go...”
As Bucky walked out of the OR after scrubbing out, it felt as though an entire day had passed while he had been in surgery. But it had only been four hours according the clock that was hanging on the wall before him. Four long hours since he had left your bedside to perform surgery on a patient whom he had been working with since had been a resident. One would think that being a new dad for a whole day would mean that he would finally jump at the chance of taking a break from work. But he could not stop worrying about that patient and you had insisted that you would be right where he left you when he got back.
Wanda Maximoff had been waiting for him as he walked down the hallway, handing him a cup of coffee as she followed him towards the elevator. “Don’t worry; it’s a lukewarm vanilla bean latte. Just chug it down before you get to the maternity ward and you can thank me later.” She told him with a chuckle, seeing his reaction when he accepted the cup from her. “You’re going to need to stock up on all of that caffeine for the next few weeks, dad.”
“How is she?” He asked her, downing his beverage in one go as he entered the elevator.
“Which ‘she’ are we talking about?”
“Both.” He replied, rolling his eyes at her as he tapped his foot anxiously. It had only been four hours since he had last seen his girls but it felt like more than that. He felt really impatient.
“Well, the mom... is okay. The bleeding has stopped a little, but she’s still in pain. I mean, why wouldn’t she be? She’s had to...” She let out a sigh, making awkward hand motions that could clearly not express what she was trying to imply. “My niece is an angel though. She sleeps like her mother but she doesn’t let her mother sleep, not that Y/N wants to sleep anyways. She needs it but she’s... can you go in there and convince her to get some sleep? Her body just went through one hell of a change and she needs to get as much rest a she can.”
Bucky let out a chuckle at Wanda’s words. “Got it.” As he got out of the elevator, he tossed his coffee cup in the trash can nearby before jogging down the hallway to where your hospital room was.
Portia Natalia Barnes was born at 11:28 am, almost two days ago now. She was crying at the top of her lungs as she came into this world, making up for all the quiet tears that her mother had shed during her childhood. The first time her father came in contact with her, his left hand had been clutching tightly onto her mother’s. His right hand had taken the scissors from Pepper to cut the umbilical cord. When she had been handed to her mother, she had stopped crying in an instant. It was as though she knew that her mother’s arm was where she was the safest. Her mother would keep her safe no matter what.
She weighed six pounds and nine ounces, a tiny little thing in your arms even though she had taken more than a push and a few tears to be brought into this world. Motherhood really was a reward to all that pain. “Portia.” You had whispered the moment you saw her, turning over to look at your husband. You both knew that there was no other name in this world that she could have.
When Bucky reached your hospital room, he had walked in to see his little girl fast asleep in your arms. He noticed that your eyes were heavy and he frowned, walking into the room to sit down at the edge of your bed. “You look a lot better than the last time I saw you, doll.”
“You look exhausted, James.”
“That is something to get used to.” He told you as he leaned over to gently kiss your forehead, his arm gently wrapped around your shoulder as he leaned his back against the pillow. “Those were the longest four hours of my life.”
“You should probably talk to Steve about going on that paternity leave. I don’t like that he’s making you work during a time like this.” You joked, your voice so quiet as to not wake her up. But she really was a heavy sleeper, like you, though you could not figure out how she manages to notice when you set her in the cot. Two days old and your little Portia had already gotten the intelligence of her namesake. “What a hypocrite.”
“Sorry, I had to leave like that. I’ve known the patient since I was a resident and I couldn’t not... be there, you know?” He told you as he bit down on his lip. He hated to have left you alone with your new daughter like that, even if it was for a few hours.
“Why are you apologizing, James?” You asked him as you shook your head. “You know I would have done the same thing, even though I... I can’t even stand up without feeling sore between my legs, let alone stand in the OR for hours on end.”
“If you had pulled something like this, I wouldn’t have let you go.” Bucky chuckled softly and looked down at Portia, his free hand gently rubbing against her head. He was extremely cautious, not wanting to hurt her even the slightest. He could not believe how the two of you had managed to create such a beautiful thing. “How is she?”
“She... hates sleeping in the cot and she cries unless I’m holding her. I’m pretty sure likes being watched when she’s asleep and Sam was insistent that she gets that from me.” You replied as you let out a yawn. “But she’s a heavy sleeper otherwise. I think she just... knows the difference between me and the cot already. It’s crazy.”
He noticed how tired you looked and nodded. “Let me hold her, doll. Rest your arms a little. You look like you need some sleep and... I just chugged an entire cup of coffee. I’ve got her.”
You nodded, smiling fondly at your husband, the father of your child, the love of your life. A wise man had once told you that we were all capable of building better lives for ourselves than what life had to offer us. You believed it now. Your life really was better.
Taking Portia from you, Bucky gently rested her against his chest while his free hand still held onto yours.
As you dozed off next against his shoulder, he looked down at his newborn daughter with a smile. “Hey, baby girl.”
Portia, who had woken up from the movement, did not make a sound as she starred up at her father. The way her wide eyes were glued at him, it was as though she had recognized him too. She felt safe in his arms as much as she felt safe in yours.
“I promise you, Portia. You might not remember this when you’re older but... I want you to know that I’ll make sure that your childhood is a thousand times better than your mother’s. I’ll make sure that you know how much you’re loved until the day I die. I love you and your mother so much and I’ll always do right by you both.” He told her softly as he nodded, leaning down to gently press his lips against her tiny forehead. “You are loved so much, baby girl. You’re loved so much by your old man.”
#aj writes#better#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes au#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x you#doctor!tony#better!bucky#dad!bucky
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It follows
Series Summary: Reader is running from financial problems and his/her studies, will they catch up with him/her? Charlie's close friends (none other than Sam and Dean) go to check up on the reader due to Charlie becoming worried for him/her. Trouble pursues, as the reader wants to keep silent about his/her struggles.
Warnings: None
Masterlist
Chapter 15
Dean tossed the impala keys onto the small side table and instantly called dibs on a laptop. Sam shook his head and smirked, knowing well that his brother didn't want to be stuck with a load of large books. You chuckled with amusement and stifled a yawn.
"So I assume we are hitting the lore again?" You asked, still unsure of how hunting worked in the real world.
Sam looked at you, slightly puzzled. "Uh.. yeah. Unless you know a way to kill a Kumiho."
"Not in the slightest, this one is a new one for me." You said.
It was Dean's turn to look at you, as Sam was getting settled.
"You seem pretty chill about monsters.. How is that?" Dean asked.
You quickly pondered; telling them about the books would probably be a bit intrusive, especially if they didn't know. Even if they weren't a hundred percent accurate, having something written about you without your knowledge is a little upsetting.
"I mean, I've always had an interest for the supernatural," you internally cringed at that comment, "so I guess I don't scare too easy?"
"Makes sense." Dean shrugged, returning to his research.
"Hey (Y/N), you can continue on the computer from earlier, I think I'll hit the solid lore." Sam offered.
"No, actually, I think I should try to get some rest. I haven't had a lot of it lately, and... I actually feel pretty safe with you guys." You admitted with a yawn.
Sam briefly looked over to Dean with a wide smile on his face. "Oh, okay. I can use both the other laptop and the books then, awesome; more coverage."
You mustered a small smile back and headed to your small bag of belongings. Even though you rarely missed the past, you couldn't help but long for comfort. You never really bothered packing pjs or lounge clothes when you bolted from college, since it would be more to carry. You had figured the few pair of clothes you threw together would suffice at the time, not thinking you would ever feel comfy anywhere again.
"Hey, um, do you want to borrow some clothes? I normally don't offer, but, I mean, it seems like you're kind of low on options." Dean said.
"Could I have a pair of sweats, maybe? If not, I'll just sleep in what I have on." You replied.
"Lucky for you, I always carry around a pair, just in case I want some extra comfort." Dean said with a wink.
Your face burned slightly from embarrassment, but you accepted his offer gratefully. You were so caught up in your emotions, you missed the small exchange of facial expressions the brothers were throwing at each other.
"We'll be right here if you need anything else, (Y/N)." Sam said.
"Thanks guys, seriously." You said, snuggling into the covers.
The brothers replied with short affirmations as you slowly drifted off to a long awaited, sound sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~
Sam and Dean both smiled to themselves as you blissfully slept, occasionally checking your sleeping form, just to make sure all was well. For a while, all that filled the room was the sounds of pages turning, and the occasional click of a mouse. Serenity was never really something the Winchesters had much experience with, so they tended to make the most of small moments like this. Although, this felt different. They were protecting someone practically around the clock, someone other than each other. They never really had the opportunity to see someone living their life easier because of them, not in action at least. This was a whole new awakening; one that made them realize that maybe their job was worth all of the pain.
"I'm really proud of you, you know." Sam said, not looking up from his laptop screen.
Dean looked up in sheer confusion. "For what?" He asked.
"You completely opened up to (Y/N). I know housing and protecting someone other than me isn't really on your to-do list, and it really means a lot." Sam explained.
"I know." Dean said with a smirk.
And then, it suddenly dawned him. The eldest Winchester was starting to feel something he hadn't truly felt in a while, remorse.
"Hey Sam," Dean started awkwardly, "you know… I do care. I just... hate having more things on my plate than.. I already have."
"I know." Sam said, being sure to make eye contact with his brother.
A couple hours flew by, and the Winchesters strangely couldn't find anything on how to kill the creature. It was beginning to take a toll on Dean, who already disliked research as it was.
"Ugh, I think I'm gonna call Bobby." Dean grumbled.
Despite the visible exhaustion, his brother still clicked away on the computer.
"Good idea, because I've got nothing over here." Sam said.
Dean rang the older hunter, turning down the volume after he put it on speaker. After several rings, a voice mumbled groggily on the other end.
"Hey, Bobby. Um, sorry to wake ya.. But we're digging into a stone well over here, think you could help us out?"
Bobby sighed into the phone and audibly shuffled out of bed. "What is it this time?" He asked.
"We believe it's a Kumiho, some sort of fox-like creature from Japan. We've been researching for hours, but we haven't struck anything." Sam said.
"A Kumiho, huh? That's a new one. What do you need me to help you figure out?" Bobby asked.
"A way to kill it. It doesn't seem to have any visible weaknesses, at least from what we've come across." Dean said.
"Alright, give me a while to wake up here, and I'll get back to you whether I find something or not. Sound good?" He said.
"Sure," Sam said, "we can catch a couple hours of rest in the meantime."
"Sleep well boys."
"Thanks Bobby."
Dean closed his flip phone and stretched his stiff limbs; Sam followed suit. They both glanced at your peaceful form, which had stilled hours ago. The sight alone made Sam smile.
"You know, it doesn't just mean a lot to (him/her), it means a lot to me too." Sam said.
"What." Dean said.
"Supporting (him/her)."
Dean smirked, patted his brother's back, and headed into the bathroom with his duffle. As Sam waited for him to finish his nightly routine, he watched over you, finally understanding the feeling his brother felt his whole life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
You were startled awake to the shrills of a cell phone. You rubbed your eyes, feeling disoriented. You had no idea how long you had been out, but it was the best you had felt in ages. It made you feel... warm.
"Yeah, here, I'll put you on speaker." Dean said, making you shift your attention to the current situation.
"Turns out there isn't really a known way to kill it, but you can trap it, I think." A gruff voice said through the cell phone.
"You can't kill it, of course. Tell us what you found out about it then?" Sam asked groggily.
"The lore says it's a creature that came about from great longevity or a long accumulation of energy. The Kumiho can only lose its form and turn human with enough will, which makes this hard. Supposedly there are two ways you can 'end' the kumiho. You can obtain a jewel called a chintamani, and make sure the Kumiho sees the full moon monthly.Or you can take an easier route, which involves the creature not killing or eating meat for a thousand days." The man explained.
"And the second option is easier how exactly?" Dean asked.
"It says the chintamani is a single stone, which is kind of hard to get. You have to go to the dragon-king of the sea, who is also known as Makara. Since we have two options here, I say you go for the one that is more obtainable first." He said.
"This is going to be loads of fun." You mumbled.
A tense silence followed, causing you to instantly regret speaking.
"Is there someone else there with you two? I could have sworn I heard another voice." The voice asked.
"Oh. Yeah, we were going to bring it up eventually. We kind of took in another helper, (his/her) name is (Y/N)." Dean said.
"You what?" He yelled.
"Hold on a second Bobby, I'll explain everything." Sam said, looking at Dean.
Dean gladly handed the angry man over to Sam and stayed silent until his brother was outside of the room. You looked at Dean questionably as he went to sit on the bed.
"Who was that?" You asked.
"That was a hunter friend of ours, Bobby. Well, actually, he's more like a father figure to us. He means well." Dean said.
"He didn't really seem too happy to hear about me." You mumbled.
Dean cautiously put a hand on your thigh and looked into your glimmering eyes.
"(Y/N), we will work all of this out, okay? We aren't getting rid of you, not any time soon." Dean reassured.
"Even if he doesn't approve of me?"
"I'm pretty sure he will approve of you, (Y/N). He just needs to get warmed up to you, that's all. And even if he doesn't, we still approve."
You gave him a watery smile and almost ended up hugging him again. Dean must have seen the hesitation, because he carefully brought you into his arms. You could easily get used to it, the smell of cheap soap and deodorant, with a hint of gunpowder and whiskey. It surprised you; he was warmer than you ever thought he would be, at least for a hunter. He felt like home, he felt safe. Dean briefly rubbed your back and broke away before it could probably feel too awkward.
"You good?" He asked.
"Yeah, I think so." You said with a smile.
"Okay good, because I'm not very good with these chick flick moments." He replied.
"That seemed pretty good to me." You said.
Before the tension could thicken, Sam closed the motel door behind him and gave Dean back his phone.
"I settled it out with Bobby, everything's good, at least I think." Sam said. "He said he wants to stop by in the morning, just so we can pair up evenly."
"I'm surprised he isn't headed here now, knowing him." Dean commented.
"He probably is, but he actually did sound like he could use some rest. I'll take him for his word this time." Sam said.
"I say we get some more sleep then, because we'll probably be out hunting this thing all evening. Unless if something else comes up, with our luck." Dean said.
You yawned in response and nodded. "Sounds like a plan."
For once, you all slept until the sun rose the next morning, completely undisturbed.
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the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart
ikemen vampire: temptation through the dark
theo van gogh / mc | T | [ ao3 link in bio ]
The challenge seemed pretty simple: to try to befriend the university bookshop’s most sour employee, Theo van Gogh. As a literature major with a boatload of book recommendations on her back, it ought to be a simple task indeed. But as she uncovers what lies between Theo’s pages, the more she finds it harder to become closer to him without having to put the feeling directly into words. What can she learn from Theo about what it means to stay—and how can she teach Theo about what it means to let go? | written for ikevamp big bang 2020!
[ masterpost for all chapters ]
CHAPTER 22 OF 22 [ END ]
But the world is strange and endings are not truly endings no matter how the stars might wish it so.
-"The Starless Sea", Erin Morgenstern
--
Like a reversal of fate, everything else goes according to plan afterwards: much to Theo’s delight.
After the expectedly but also overwhelmingly successful two-week long exhibit at the gallery, Vincent—after years of indecision—finalizes his documents and portfolio, submits a stack of photos and a long, written document detailing the exhibit to the graduation approval panel. The following month is the longest of the brothers’ lives, but the committee approves Vincent’s submission, and a few weeks later he’s finally marching down the aisle to claim his diploma. (It was a beautiful affair, Theo would always say about it, but in truth he was unable to see anything more than a few smudges of color, due to how hard he was crying. Thank god for photographs.)
Freshly-graduated Vincent takes on various jobs while submitting to various institutions both locally and abroad, and finally persuades Theo to finish his bachelor’s degree, promising that he’ll always be facing forward into the future. The following semester, Theo enrolls for a final time at the university, taking his last units to write up his thesis.
Theo doesn’t quit his job at the bookshop, but eventually as things get busier he can only take so many hours until he’s barely there at all. They get a new employee named William—Theo doesn’t really like him. Arthur gives a little show of crying when Theo reveals he can only work weekends now, treats him to dinner and some alcohol at the end of it, so maybe it isn’t that bad. Theo, of course, still forwards all his book requests to the bookstore, and, much to his disgust, continues to spend Saturdays or Sundays (or both, if he’s unlucky) as “quality time” with Arthur, as the latter has called it. It’s not much, but more than enough for his “begrudging” best friend.
As Theo is working on his thesis, Vincent finally receives an offer for apprenticeship at a rather renowned fine arts gallery a few hours away, and Theo feels all his dreams are coming true.
And it’s time to get a new one.
He’s finishing a degree, bracing himself to enter a field he’s always long wanted to be in, to help support his brother but also to begin the long journey of a little hope he’d long kept in his heart, the one he hadn’t ever dared to say, fearing he wasn’t good enough for it—of being the director of a museum.
He might even be able to take a master’s on the side, if he finds a company that’s willing to get him trained both on the company floor and in an institution—and his grades and a few recommendation letters will get him there, he’s damn sure.
And next to him, or well, miles away, his brother is getting steadier and steadier on his feet, near-sprint towards a future with art he’s always dreamt of as well, this time with no one putting him down. Theo’s going to make sure that stays the same for all the years to come, too.
It feels like the beginning of everything good, and Theo walks around the town with a smile on his face.
All that’s left to do is wait.
He has faith that everything will settle into their proper places, like they always have.
And they do, because just as she always does, it’s 2:00pm on a Sunday, and she comes, in a long, plain cream coat over a sweater, a short plaid skirt over dark leggings, high black boots, because it’s fall now, starting to become cold. She’s looking around her with stars in her eyes, like she hasn’t been here in a long time. And she hasn’t.
Theo spots her first, and then, like she feels the touch of his eyes on her skin, she turns to him. Her face brightens with a grin that makes Theo’s heart stop.
And then she runs with a speed unexpected for the shoes she’s wearing. Theo braces himself as she jumps into his arms, but they still topple towards the ground.
THUNK!
“Oh my god, I could have killed you!” she says, but every word is stuck in between fits of laughter. Curls of hair hang over the sides of her face as she pulls herself up on the palms of her hands and her knees. Guiltless, as she always is.
Theo crinkles his nose, raises a hand to brush off the curtain of hair. “You have an accent,” he says. It’s not derisive, not an insult, just an observation, the same way he’d say something about a work of art.
And, just because she doesn’t run out of ways to take his breath away, she laughs and presses a kiss on his lips, her mouth warm, his face suddenly hot. She smells like strawberries and sour things and home.
She pulls away and breathes against his trembling lips, “I missed you so much.”
“Talk’s for later,” he half-growls, pulling himself up into a seated position before taking her lips in his once more—his fingers in her hair, her hand on his shoulder, seated on his lap. The kiss doesn’t deepen like she expects it to: instead it’s just a series of small kisses exchanged between the two of them, passed back and forth to each other like a shared breath. His hand squeezes her waist and—
“GET A ROOM!” someone shouts from across the street, followed by a burst of laughter, random onlookers to a long-awaited reunion.
“God, I sure miss being home,” she chuckles, making light of the call-out, chewing on her lower lip in embarrassment, turning her eyes away from him.
The word home hangs heavy between the both; but a good kind of heavy.
But for now, he’s not having that, not when they’ve been waiting for this for the longest time; he reaches out to cup her cheek in his hand, only to feel the damp trail of a tear slipping down.
It’s his turn to snort, rubbing a thumb up underneath her eye. “Don’t cry, liefje.”
She pouts. “…‘I missed you too, baby,’” she says mockingly, but wipes the tears that fall out with the back of her hand anyway. The two of them stare at each other for a long moment, like confirming each other’s existence, like making sure the other is really there.
Then, she breaks the silence with a laugh, like she always does.
His heart feels more than just full. It’s always more than with her around.
“I kept all your letters,” she says softly.
“And I kept all your postcards.”
That makes her laugh. A sound he wishes he could listen to forever. “Ah, we sound like some kind of rom-com protagonists. So silly.”
“That’s not so bad though,” Theo says, taking her hand in his the way he’s always wanted to but has always been afraid to do.
“No,” she says, leaning against his warmth. Pressing their foreheads together. “Not at all.”
--
And because her friend’s been bugging her throughout her entire first year at the university while she was gone, said friend decides to get back at her by holding a little surprise party to match the little surprise arrival she had made for Theo. She, Theo, her friend, Dazai, Arthur, and a shifty-feeling Isaac—she will have to figure out the details for that later—end up having dinner together at a place that opened while she was gone, talking about all that she’d missed, stories that may as well have already been told but feel different when they’re told face-to-face.
They all go home flushed, half with drunk and half with joy. She hasn’t really checked into her apartment complex quite yet, but Theo shoots down her friend’s offer for her to be driven back to the city in exchange for getting her to sleep at his place. The van Gogh residence has been home to one for quite a bit now and Theo… well, he’d like some company.
The two of them are walking home side by side, swaying a little as they pass through flickering streetlights. There is so much to talk about, to catch up on, so many things hidden in between the lines of letters and messages that are better sorted out in person, and Theo feels each question rising up his throat clawing their way out.
Was coming back worth it?
Won’t you regret it?
Did you find what you were looking for out there?
But they have time—they have so much time now, so instead, he settles for the gentle quiet they’ve always known each other for. Instead, he bumps the back of her hand with his, and because everything is more than with her, she takes it as an opportunity to intertwine their fingers together.
There’s mischief in her voice.
“Hey.”
“What?”
“Say ‘I love you.’”
Theo stops in his tracks. “What?”
The shock makes her laugh. Pulling at his hand to get him to start walking again, she explains, “You’ve never told me you loved me, you know.”
“I have.”
“Not in person!” she argues. “Not even in call. You wrote it, but that’s different.”
Theo can feel the words on his tongue already anyway, but he continues to prolong the inevitable. “What’s all this all of a sudden?”
“Nothing! I just haven’t heard it, and well, I wanted to hear it? Please?”
“No.”
“C’mon, you’re not fair. Tell me.”
“No,” he says, pulling her by her hand and pressing a kiss on the back of it. Chaste, and yet so deep with hunger it makes her knees wobble just a bit. “I’ll tell you later.”
She flushes a deep red.
--
After all this, their friends will not stop joking about how they’ve had one of the most intense courtships in the history of their friend group—and likely their university—but the two of them both rigorously deny that, saying that there are likely to be more complicated ones they just don’t know. Besides, at this point, it doesn’t really matter how long it had taken them to get here—
Just that they had gotten here.
And what a good story that journey was.
Just fit for a literature major.
But stories are stories because they flow into each other, and so even if that chapter has ended, that just means another one has begun and—there is so much plot to be done. She and Theo have a talk about their relationship—this time in person, and this time for real—somewhere in between their last semesters in university. Their friends are, well, still their friends, ever so patient even now that they’re together, especially after all that happened before they got to this. And the future is wide and the world is out there waiting and—
They can’t wait to see it together.
Like flower facing upward to the sun daring itself to see what the world has for it out there before deciding it wants to stay, deciding to grow its roots, deciding…
Right here is okay.
Like blossoming in reverse.
When she and Theo move in together to their own little apartment, away from the university, long after shared books at the rooftop of the physics department and Dragon’s Hoard and Little Owl, Vincent sends to them a moving-in gift: a series of three canvases, a triptych depicting the two of them at that most vulnerable part of their romance. The start of the most beautiful part of it. On the opposite panels, she and Theo; sitting in front of their respective windows, looking out at different cities, different times of the day. And in the middle, a humble little paper airplane made of envelopes, with their blue and red marking, the stamps, the smudged ink, crossing the landscape without care for distance.
They hang the paintings in their living room, above the sofa, the first thing they see when they enter their little shared home.
Just another one of many shared things that will continue to grow.
And today, they’re not yet done unpacking and they’ve only gotten out two sets of dinnerware just enough to be able to eat—but there is so much time. So it’s two in the afternoon on a Sunday, music playing lowly from cheap Bluetooth speakers, and their next-door neighbors are hammering something in the wall but it is still beautiful. Standing in the middle of the living room on the carpet, the TV and the books still in their neatly labeled boxes stacked against the wall—they hold each other close to the slow beat of the music.
Sure, they may have been idiots about this but—they have the rest of their lives to make up for lost time
And so Theo presses his forehead against hers, smiling when the gesture makes her laugh. Nothing makes him feel as warm as she does, and no metaphor, no literary reference will be able to truly put into words how he feels about having found her at just the right moment.
How they crossed that near-miss.
And how lucky he is to get to keep her.
Arm wrapped reverently around the small of her back, one hand on her waist, the other with its fingers interlocked with hers—he presses a small kiss on her knuckles, eyes sliding shut. Everything goes dark: the music shushes into silence, the room collapses, the only thing is him, and her, and the long eternity.
“…And this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart,” he whispers, quoting a poem from a poet from a book from a bookstore from what seems like a million years ago, sighing when she squeezes his shoulder, “I carry your heart—”
Tilts his head upward with her finger, oh, she has him wrapped around her finger, always has.
He looks back at her and her heart dips into the deep blue of his eyes.
She kisses the words onto his lips, “I carry it in my heart.”
---------
thank you for reading this! longer A/N on ao3!!
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Trollhunters: Tales of Arcadia Watch Episode 14 Return of the Trollhunter
Now we begin the second half of season 1 (It’s actually season 2 but we don’t talk about that)
“Holy moly!”
Toby survives that.
“What the heck was-?”
“Huh?” We now return to your daily schedule bizarre adventures.
“Hop on!”
“Adios, fire cat”
“Hey, maybe save the jokes for when we aren’t gonna die” Well it sounded cool in his head.
“I can’t believe you took that stupid rock to your science class!”
“First, it’s not a rock. It’s a volcanic slag”
“And how was i suppose to know there was a flaming monster hiding in it?”
“You bought a magic rock off a troll named “Marvin the Monster Dealer” What did you think would happen, Tobes?” What happened before this moment?
“Um, Master Jim, you said this was a luminaire”
“When that is obviously an infernal hellheeti” Getting away with saying hell.
“Should i punch it?”
“Can i punch it?”
“Yes!” “No!”
“I was going to add, make sure you do not feed the fire by attacking it!”
“Opps” Punching doesn’t solve everything.
Jim uses Water Breathing. Tanjiro would be proud.
“Uh, guys, the fire hydrant-”
“Close enough”
Just keep walking.
Why is the opening still the same, even though Bular is dead now?
“Morning mom”
“Hi”
“Made your favorite breakfast”
“Sorry, kiddo, in a rush”
Should i be glad that Miraculous Ladybug doesn’t have something like this? It would be painful to watch. Fortunately, everyone in Miraculous Ladybug is stupid.
“I mean, it’s been like a month” Wait it’s been a month since last episode? So what have they been doing in a month?
“I don’t know how to fix this unless i tell her the truth”
“But if i do, they’ll send me to the crazy house” Hey, you told Claire, and she didn’t send you to the crazy house. Well she was tempted to do that cause you weren’t making any sense, but she didn’t.
“They fixed your tooth” Why did it take this long for Steve’s tooth to get fixed? I doubt all of the first half happened in a single month.
“I heard he was run out of town by the mob”
“I heard he got a mail-order bride and moved to North Korea”
“As if. Where do you think Mr. Strickler went, Jimmy-Jam. After all, he was dating your mom”
“Why does everyone keep bringing this up?!”
“Guys, this is my brother, and NotEnrique’s driving me nuts”
“You know how many times i have to change him?”
“He knows how to use a toilet”
“He chooses the diaper” “Yeah? Well at least you didn’t have to shove your hand in stinking diapers, and have it still stink to this day” “Ugh. Why does it still still stink? Have you washed your hands?” “Yes! 100 times since i got home with my cold McDonald’s French Fries” “Well excuse me, prince” “It’s well excuse me, princess!” “Are you two gonna kiss right now?” “Shut up Toby!”
“You spend so much time with Lake, you’re practically swimming in him” That’s what she said.
“We’re just friends. End of story” Wait, did- Did Claire just Adrien Agrested Jim? Goddamn it Adrien! Your Just a Friending made it’s way to Arcadia and got Claire. I hope you’re happy.
“Okay, people, who can tell me what happened in the year 1989?”
“No, seriously, i don’t remember. It was a crazy year” Let’s see. What video games came out that year.
“Really, Palchuk? That’s it. I’m dating your mom” “No, no, wait!”
Okay hold on. Why does it take a month for Claire to see Trollmarket? Out-of-Universe reason i can understand. You want to do a one month skip, and we all want to Claire’s reaction to Trollmarket. Could you imagine Claire going to Trollmarket off-screen? We get a few mentions of it here and there, but we never see her full reaction. I can understand the out of universe reason. But what i don’t understand is the In-Universe reason. Like Jim told Claire the truth a month ago. There’s no reason to keep anything a secret with her. Like why? A month to progress all of this? Cause i think it would take Claire a week at most to take it all in. Slower than when J- Never mind.
“Now, you’re gonna want to start drawing a semi-circle”
“Oh! You have it. Okay, never mind” Easier than me drawing an actually circle.
“It’s... It’s lively. Shit that’s Aja’s thing!”
He pets.
“Jim told me you helped him face Draal”
“And slay Bular” Wait Jim explained the entire first half of the season to Claire? Where are the fucking fanfics?
“And that Vespa!”
“Best birthday ever. Except for the part where Jim gets chased by a Stalkling” “That is something i want to forget”
“You’ve read A Brief Recapitulation of Troll Lore?”
“Volumes 1 through 47 It took me a while to decipher the symbols”
“But once i got past the Fifth Declension, i started to get the hang of it” It’s embarrassing when your (Not yet, almost, but not really, not for another season) girlfriend knows more about Troll Lore than you.
“She read the book!”
“She read the book! Master Jim, i love my daughter in law!” “Wait what?”
“She’s a flower” Mood.
Always have a drink before you continue.
“I accepted a human Trollhunter’
“And allowed the pudgy one to stay for moral support” Toby is the moral support boyfriend. Claire is the moral support girlfriend. See? Two different roles.
“But this? A third?”
“It’s an infestation!” Hey they’re not rabbits where they multiple every 5 seconds. Then again, Jim and Claire- Never mind again.
*Talks in Troll*
“She speaks Troll”
“And Trollmarket is honored to have you as well”
“Oh, Blinkous! If only the amulet had chosen such a learned and delightful fleshbag”
“Hey!” Trollhunter Claire au.
“That was awesome, Claire”
“Vendel loves you and he hates everyone!” I said it once, and i’ll say it again: Vendel is the most relatable character in this series.
Where did this light came from?
“Hopefully, this will give the girl some closure”
“She does understand why we cannot allow the bridge to open?”
“Well, you said it yourself, we’d be fools to open the bridge and risk letting Gunmar out”
“Right, Jim?”
“Oh, of course”
“We’d be crazy to do that“ Yeah... A crazy fool, heheheheh...
“Hey buddy, it’s your sis”
”Don’t you start thinking i’ve forgotten about you”
“We’re gonna get you back. I promise”
“See you soon, little chicharron”
*Cries in Troll*
“I need to share a word with our Trollhunter” That’s what it’‘s like when dad wants to talk to you alone. Then again, i don’t have a dad so...
“Hey, Draal? It’s strange, but i feel like i’ve seen you before. Have we met?” “Uh...”
“No. You must’ve mistaken me for someone else”
“Hate to be there when we have to rebuild Jim, right?”
“What a mess”
“Well, i just grossed myself out” We’ll see about that in Wizards.
“You fight in an arena surrounded by the remains of dead Trollhunters?”
“That is...”
“The most heroic thing i’ve ever seen. If their ghosts talked, then it be like Mulan”
“Sometimes, the heart leads you down paths you should not cross”
“How did you-?”
“Figure it out?”
“Your devotion to this girl is as obvious as Marinette’s feelings for Adrien. WHICH IS STILL DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!”
“But you know the danger”
“If you went in alone, you’d be killed”
“Which is why we will answer every call”
“You said i have to answer every call. Now-“
“Wait, did you just say “We”?”
“Aaarrrgghh and i discussed it. We knew you were going in, with or without our approval”
“But... If Claire’s brother is important to you, then he’s important to us”
“For folly or for fraught”
“We are a team”
*Cries in Troll again*
“Is this normal?”
“Nothing’s normal around here”
“Get used to it, sister” Translation: “Welcome to your new life”
“But only a Trollhunter can wield Daylight”
“We are Trollhunters!”
“Oh, man! Now, i’m dead!”
“That stupid Soothscryer killed me in the Forge” He thought Bular would kill him. But nope, instead it’s the fucking Soothscryer.
“What do you mean, he’s in the Void?”
“The Void sounds like a very empty word. A bad word” I hear the Void is very welcoming.
“Yeah. And are these happy ghosts we’re talking about here”
“Or Mulan’s ghost family?”
“He is now under the spiritual guidance of”
“Master Trollhunters”
“Ghost guidance counselors?”
“So, it is like Mulan”
“Wow! So trolls and ghosts exist”
“What’s next? A Midsummer Night’s Dream?”
“Fairies?”
“Fairies? Preposterous!”
“Fairies lost the war to the pixies centuries ago” Hate to meet these pixies, right?
“But if we’re going in, they said the only way we’re getting out alive is if we kill Gunmar” Well that’s a bigger lie than any lie Lila can make.
“And with Strickler gone, maybe we have a chance”
Speak of the devil. Or changeling.
If i ever seem dead, be sure to throw rocks at me to be sure.
“Who has awakened me?”
This is me and my sister.
“You know my name”
“A shame i will never know yours”
Angor Rot had to deal with the goblins wrath.
“My ring”
“My flesh”
“Yield to me!”
“For i wear the One Ring”
“You have killed thousands”
“You are chaos incarnate”
“And you”
“are...
“mine”
“Hahahahaha!”
The second half of season 1 (Actually season 2) is off to a great start.
Shit, what do i say that has something to do with next episode? Uh... See you next episode?
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You killed our dog! Adriana of The Sopranos gave me strength to navigate life after a breakup during a global pandemic lockdown
I’m going through a breakup. It’s come at the worst time but also the best time. He ended things with me (more on that later) after three years in the most Beta-Male way...but this is what happens when your type can be boiled down to softboi. I can’t see my friends in the conventional way, so I made some new ones on screen to help me navigate the end during quarantine.
Over ten weeks ago I started watching The Sopranos. It doesn’t need justifying, everyone knows it’s the best television series of all time, but I’d never seen it, and I knew a global pandemic induced lockdown would provide optimum viewing circumstances. My favourite thing to do is completely throw myself into the female narrative and experience I’m watching on screen. I prefer a long deep drama over a film. I like being able to see my girls every night.
People have said to me before “you should start a blog”, but I could never escape the feeling that doing so is massively narcissistic because it *is*, unless you have something actually relevant to write about. Alternatively, the image of Gretchen Weiners leaning in and going “you let it out honey, put it in the book” floats across my conscience, and everything embarrassing that I’ve ever done, plays in a montage in my mind.
Who gives a fuck what I have to say about anything…….. especially about a cultural phenomena that is quite literally regarded as the best TV show of all time?
I’d been wanting to write this after I watched Long Term Parking. I lay in the dark for 45 minutes after the episode ended. I’d never felt like that watching a television show or film before. My throat had seized up but I didn’t cry, even though I felt like it. I knew it was coming from the moment Adriana met the agent. I wasn’t surprised, but I was heartbroken and absolutely fuming. I still am.
I’m not angry with Christopher, Tony, or Silvio, but just the general unbalance I’ve felt when I’m in a relationship. The loss of self, relationships being a series of compromises. From what I have found from my own experiences and my girlfriends’, women are just much more willing to compromise, but don’t consider it to be a compromise. Men can only take into consideration their own reality, an evolutionary selfishness that just doesn’t translate.
Just as lockdown began I texted my boyfriend to say I loved him and I missed him. He responded with “Can’t say I feel the same”. Nearly 3 years were over just like that. We had the obligatory phone call, where I was hysterical and he was smarmy and smug. Yet when it was over, I felt nothing. It’s allllll a big nothing.
My personal Gospel is Sex and The City (shout out to HBO!). This was my Berger moment. He essentially scribbled “I’m sorry, I can’t. Don’t hate me” on a post-it. The irony of the whole thing is that when we watched it together, he himself said he was most like Berger. Thinking about it makes me wince.
My life opened up in front of me, I was exposed to his weakness regarding the situation in full when his sister-in-law messaged me on Instagram a few days ago. He hadn’t told his family, nor had he told his flatmates (another shout out to my sleuths at the back, you know who you are!).
The Sopranos is a show about life. The Mafia structure provides a vehicle for us to question morality and mortality. You take what you get from it. When I watch it again at a different stage of my life, I will get something else out of it.
For me now, while I stew in my own emotion during quarantine, Adriana represents emotional labour and the expectation for women to behave in a certain way in relationships.
At first when my ex’s family members were messaging me, I was confused. It is frankly humiliating to smile as if everything is normal, so as to protect someone that in the end would not do the same for me. I know he wouldn’t do the same because there was just no courtesy in what happened weeks ago. I am trying to move on but things like this stunt your personal growth.
The struggle with emotional labour hones a guilt that someday I’ll regret giving my early 20s to something that didn’t work out. I felt like I was on borrowed time.
These are obviously my own insecurities spurred on by the fact that I’ve read enough “10 things I wish I knew in my 20s” blogs to know that these are my selfish years. Still, it is ultimately devastating to see the last 3 years of your life conclude via a text that displays a failure to realise that there is no real clean cut for a long-term relationship.
I respect him for the blunt statement because it means I get to reference the Berger SATC breakup and say “casually cruel in the name of being honest” (Taylor Swift, 2012) a LOT, which softens the pity in the social scenarios that I invent in my head in the shower.
When Tony calls Adriana to tell her Christopher has tried to kill himself, that was like my final phone call too. This is the end. Her youthfulness was why I related to her most in the show, but at the same time having nothing to lose made her easily expendable. Youth makes you put 100% into something knowing it is a gamble.
I’m not comparing my ‘borrowed time’ to Adriana because she ends up dead, but there was a disregard for her life that was so harrowing because she did nothing but try and do the right thing. I watched Adriana put Christopher first willingly for 5 series. He supported her music management dreams but ultimately ended up making it all about him. He gave her the Crazy Horse but this ultimately was just another mob hangout. He sat on her dog, he continued to use heroin, shag other people, and so on.
“You could start writing again,” she tells him in her last episode, to which he responds “I could do my memoirs, finally,”. Here is Adriana still!! STILL!! catering to Christopher’s ego to give herself some confidence. Very me.
All the way through she was just too good for him. Her ties to the Famiglia aren’t as tight as Carmela and Co. No children, still young, there’s chance for Adriana to get out if she wanted to. Of course this makes her prime FBl bait, but shows she sticks by Christopher through everything purely out of love. In the end she dies on her knees, subservient, with Heart’s Barracuda the last song she hears. I know Adriana had to go. That’s the way it is in the Famiglia because Christopher took an oath. But in a way she also had the carpet ripped from underneath her, just like me.
There are lots of men writing on the internet about how Adriana is greedy and hypocritical. I just don’t understand where this reading is coming from other than obvious misogyny. I’ve read others that say if she was really that strong she would have simply left the relationship years ago. I believe that she believed things would improve for both of them, and that most people are just slut shaming her for her past.
Still, Drea DeMatteo won a Best Supporting Actress Emmy for the episode. Fuckin’ A.
I rooted for the woman. Before I was made redundant while working from home, I would spend half my life at my desk willing it to be 5:30pm, so I could slither back to the settee and spend the other half of my life in New Jersey. I’d phone my mum to discuss the episodes. She loves the show too, it’s always been a favourite in my household. We’d talk about the women like they were our friends and how we relate to them. The Sopranos is like a big mirror urging you to question everything. The answer to life is simply what are ya gonna do?
Men love making things black and white so it is easier for them, when really women are in the background sorting out the shades of grey.
Don’t get me wrong, Adriana’s significance is massive, albeit more so because of her death. You watch Christopher and Tony’s relationship start to crumble afterwards. It's shattering to see the disregard for Christopher’s sobriety and how despite his loyalty, he still sees him as a liability and weak.
On the other hand, for Adriana’s sake, I am still enraged that he couldn’t see the bigger picture at the time. She is collateral damage in his path to finding his precious arc - “Wives, girlfriends, they can complicate life in a major way” Tony expresses to Jennifer as he runs from his own guilt.
Christopher is desperate for Tony’s approval but is more than happy to use his blood connection as a protective leeway whenever he steps out of line. Again the irony is that he comes to tell Tony about Adriana first, just as the old Famiglia values say he should, but there is no real personal reward for doing so despite the personal sacrifice.
I think Christopher regretted it in the end, and rightly so. When he is faced with his potential alternate life at the gas station, we assume that this was what made him go to Tony. It’s a family with loads of kids. Adriana probably can’t even have kids??? What kind of male logic?! #justiceforadriana
I can’t help but feel for him when JT screams “Chris, you’re in the MAFIA!”. It’s the same kind of reality check that Chief Cubitoso gives Adriana, it’s an ultimatum and it’s the realisation that they are trapped in this life. Just ask Gene.
Carmela knew. I read her dreams as a testament to a woman’s intuition. She knows her friend isn’t what everyone is describing, she knows Adriana wouldn’t just disappear. She is all too aware of the emotional labour Mob women carry. When she sees Adriana with Cosette on the banks of the Seine, it is as sad as it is when we dream about people who have died.
There is a scene in an early episode where Carmela says “Don’t we all?” in response to Meadow squealing “She’s MARRYING a BABY?” at a painting of The Marriage of Saint Catherine. I thought about this again when Christopher dies. Carmela passes her instinct off as hysteria, she isn’t to know. “So quick to blame, what is the attraction in that?” she cries during the aftermath of the car crash. There is a critique in her own femininity here that just makes you want to shout “NO CARM!!!!!!!”. As she believes she mothers Tony, there is the double-edged sword whereby he protects her through keeping her in the dark. “Heaven only ever sees my love making a fool of me” sings Emmylou Harris at the start of season 5. Carm’s power is taken away but she doesn’t even know.
Carmela dedicates her life to being a mother but it’s not enough to save Meadow from her surname. We get some sense that AJ ‘Break Stuff by Limp Bizkit’ Soprano might be on a new path when he feels like the burning of his car among the autumn leaves of death was cathartic. As a man, he just has more freedom anyway.
Miss Meadow gained her independence by getting her driving license, but in the end we see that she is still held back in the final scene by her inability to parallel park. She slots right in, eventually. As she does, she slots into the Soprano cycle after years of doing the most to get out and pave her own way. After every breakup with someone without links to the Famiglia, no scrubs, she returns and dates someone closer to home. Her career path is left tenuous to us, it would be all too easy for her to become a kept woman, which feels like it is the only real option should she settle down into the lifestyle with Patrick Parisi. It isn’t what she envisioned for herself, so part of me wants to hope that her story ends up a little bit more like Elle Woods. Legally Italian.
I probably wouldn’t even have remembered her saying anything about parallel parking if I wasn’t terrible at parallel parking myself. It’s the pepperings of these subtle callbacks that make the show so beautiful. As the guitar solo plays on during the frustration, you’re invited to reminisce over Meadow’s journey. I fully wept watching her struggle to get the damn car parked because I’m trying to get my car parked too. Don’t stop believing, Meadow.
I admire all the women in The Sopranos. The show is feminist, and that is a hill I am prepared to die on. It’s definitely up for debate as it is obviously littered with gratuitous nudity and women are commoditised. We have to allow this for cultural context for the show, but real life is basically exactly the same too?
I read a post on Reddit where a dude is asking whether he should watch the show with his girlfriend. He types ‘“It’s a masterpiece of film but she probably wouldn’t get into it as I am”, and you don’t have to look much further to find more comments about how women and their puny minds just won’t get it. It’s an odd perspective to take given that Tony’s psychiatrist is a woman, but of course women could never grasp something so complex. It’s bullshit if you ask me, the female narrative prevails throughout all scenarios.
The Pine Barrens seems to be everyone’s favourite episode. It’s not my favourite but there are two major elements that resonated with me. The first is Meadow looking down at the three letter words Jackie Aprile Jr had placed on the Scrabble board, and the second is when Gloria says to Tony:
“What you said was that you didn’t wanna piss me off..which implies that you’d have to deal with me, which is more about sparing YOU than my fucking feelings”. Don’t need to elaborate on that. Rest in power, Gloria. Legend.
Of course I could write pages and pages of hot feminist takes on all of the women - Jennifer, Janice, Livia, Angie, Svetlana, Charmaine. Lord knows I could probably write a book on Tracee.“ 20 years old, this girl”, I bashed Living on a Thin Line by The Kinks for about a week after that episode. It is the male gaze of the show made me love the women more. Carmela is my mother and I’ll probably name my first born Meadow.
Carmela is the powerhouse and backbone of The Soprano household even though Tony provides. She represents stability, emotional labour, and putting on a brave face regardless. In some ways, it is as if Carmela represents the human emotion side and the fragility of organised crime. She is secure, but not enough, and her lack of ability to stand on her own two feet plagues her conscience through time. She is totally complicit, but must be to ensure her future with Tony as he pays anything to roll the dice just one more time. At the end of Long Term Parking, she and Tony stand looking at where she will build her spec-house. The forest looks the same as where we lost Ade, it’s a grim reflection that Carmela wouldn’t have this life if it wasn’t for the quick disposal of those like Adriana.
Yeah okay, what the hell is a show with a feminist underpinning trying to say about wider society about a woman who exercises her beauty, loyalty and ambition?? Is it that she is not to be trusted?? Adriana’s a rat, but before this she is already deemed “damaged goods” anyway. She dresses provocatively, but that’s because she just looks MINT always. You would dress like THAT if you looked like THAT. When you Google her, ‘Adriana Sopranos Tennis’ comes up. I roll my eyes. Fucking men, eh? To take it down to a basic Sixth-Form-Poet reading, Adriana is Curley’s Wife and Daisy Buchanan all in one. She loves a red manicure too, and it might have worked out better for her if she had played the complicit beautiful little fool.
This isn’t ‘Why The Sopranos is good!’, but a love letter to Adriana and her strength, because there is basically little or no content written on the women of the show when I have Googled. I needed there to be more things written about her that isn’t just “bitch had it coming” when in fact she is a martyr.
When Adriana was on screen, there was my mate. I knew her, she wanted what I wanted, but she sacrificed so much of herself for others and it was heartbreaking to watch. She barely gets a look-in in early episodes, but when she does she is usually wearing something animal print, which automatically made her the number one character on my radar. I am choosing to believe the theory that she is the cat in the final episode too.
Still, I have been struggling and questioning why an episode that aired 16 years ago, with no plot that links to my own circumstances, has had such a monumental impact on me.
I saw a tweet that said “have we ever sat down and thought about why relationships only work if the guy is more invested than the girl or is that just something we accept” (@anugov1). Adriana invested more in Christopher, even in the end, than she ever did herself.
As I navigate this transitional period in my life, I am Adriana driving in the vision we see when we think she is going to start her new chapter. We can’t leave the flat, I have no job. The Sopranos has provided the most cathartic escapism for me. As I enter into whatever new world follows this nightmare, I wanted my mate Adriana to find her new world too, turning the classic rock up to 11.
#the sopranos#adriana la cerva#christopher moltisanti#carmela soprano#feminism#cosette#breakup#woe is me#hbo#david chase#drea de matteo
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His Name Was Isaac - Ch. 10
Fanfic summary: During a mission to avenge his mother’s death, Isaac hunts down the men responsible for her murder and kills them off one-by-one, only to discover that his last target is taking refuge among the Van der Linde gang. In an attempt to kill them, Isaac attacks the gang and unknowingly becomes enemies with his own father, who is in the process of fighting his own battle for redemption.
Point of view: third-person
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This story is also on AO3
THE NEXT MORNING
OWANJILA DAM, WEST ELIZABETH
Gazing out at the enormous lake, Dutch sat alone on the edge of the dam as he lost himself in the marvelous view laid out before him, letting his mind wander freely with the sounds of water trickling and birds chirping.
The mountains on the horizon formed a majestic, jagged border that separated the lake from the sky, and for as far as the naked eye could see, Dutch found nothing but a colony of lush trees dominating the landscape as the water beneath mirrored their reflection.
There were animals of all sorts gallivanting through the wilderness and disturbing the overall peace of the foliage, scuttering away from the people that traveled the roads.
The environment sang vigorously with life around Dutch, and yet, despite the serene state of the world surrounding him, the man himself could not have felt more hopeless on the inside.
Arthur... was gone.
He was actually gone.
After thirty years of riding together side-by-side and raising that man as a son, Arthur had finally turned his back on the gang. And now, Dutch was all alone.
Just like in the beginning.
Reaching into his coat, Dutch fumbled through his pockets for a bit before pulling out Arthur’s journal and delicately opening it, curious to skim through its mysterious contents.
Ever since Arthur was just a boy, he always found solace between the pages of a blank book, but never allowed anyone else to see his drawings. They were the “sacred texts,” so to speak.
Anytime someone tried to catch even a glimpse of his sketches, Arthur would always snatch the thing away and hide it somewhere safe from prying eyes. It was one of the few things he valued more than money, and as the years went by, everyone eventually learned to just leave it be.
That was, until now.
The clumsy man dropped the damned thing when he made a run for it back in Tall Trees. The flap on his satchel came loose sometime during the fight, and within a moment’s notice, it just... slipped out. Of course, there was no time to return the journal to its rightful owner, but Dutch didn’t have the heart to leave it lying in the mud either.
So, with a heavy heart, he decided to take the journal back to camp and keep it as a memento of what their family once was. Strangely enough though, instead of the comfort Dutch expected the item to bring, it offered nothing but a sense of loneliness.
Every time he flipped through its worn pages, he’d only be reminded of everything he’d lost over the years, and the son he loved dearly who abandoned him just like the rest of the gang.
It made Dutch’s blood boil to think about Arthur’s betrayal. He sacrificed life and limb to keep that boy safe, and within the span of a few weeks, the man had turned traitor and run off with a kid he hardly even knew.
Meanwhile, his family of thirty years got left behind in the dust during their time of need, and remained forgotten alongside their distant memories.
Dutch may have been old, and he may have been living on borrowed time, but before all this was over, he swore to himself that he would get closure.
Their gang had a code these days, and no one went against it without paying the price.
Not even Arthur.
“Boss?” Someone said, tearing Dutch from his thoughts. The man looked over his shoulder.
“Micah,” he said with relief, “you’re back. Got any news for me? How’d things go in Strawberry?”
Micah stood next to Dutch, taking in the view alongside him. “About as good as you’d expect, all things considered. We managed to replace most of our supplies with the stuff from the general store. It ain’t as fancy as what we had before, but it’ll keep us afloat for now.”
The older man nodded in approval, closing the journal. “Then it’s good enough. Listen, I sent Joe out scoutin’ earlier. He thinks we can set up a camp somewhere near here. It ain’t that far away from civilization, but we’ll have a reliable source of food and water. It’ll give us some time to gather our senses before we move on with the plan.”
Micah seemed to have no qualms. “Fine by me, boss. Whatever you think is right.”
Taking their minds off the gang’s current state for the moment, the two of them fell into a solemn silence as Micah closely observed Dutch’s expressions, clearly able to see that the man was far from happy.
“Dutch,” he said, trying to get the man’s attention. “I gotta ask you something.”
The other man brought his gaze back to the lake, letting out a series of coughs. “Yeah?”
“...What’re we gonna do about Arthur?”
Dutch sighed, glaring into the emptiness around him.
“The only thing we can do. We are gonna find that man, and we are gonna show him what it means to betray our gang. Freedom always comes at a price, and he’s gonna learn that. But it ain’t gonna be easy. You know Arthur. He’s as strong as he is smart, no matter how much he tries to deny it.”
The other man chuckled. “While that may be true, how well do you think he can fare against an entire gang? Even with that little shit helpin’ him out, I doubt he’ll stand much of a chance.”
Dutch shrugged. “I don’t know. The only thing that’s for certain, is we’d be fools to underestimate him. Arthur’s always been a force to be reckoned with, and if we ain’t careful, he’ll kill us all before any of them Pinkertons do.”
“And what about the boy?” Micah asked. “We plannin’ to kill Isaac, too?”
Dutch nodded. “Of course. He’s the man who started all this. He killed Cleet, he killed Shay, and I assume he’s responsible for sicking the Pinkertons on us back at the bank, too. We’ll do our damndest to survive this year, but I sure as hell plan on takin’ Isaac down with us if we don’t.”
Standing up from his seat, Dutch sauntered past Micah and quickly lit a cigar, preparing to take his leave.
“But first... let’s just focus on gettin’ this camp set up. We’ll be no use to anyone if we’re starving and exhausted. Let’s get some rest, and then we’ll talk about our next step.”
Micah removed himself from the dam, following Dutch’s actions. “Whatever you say, boss.”
~~~~~~~~~~
MEANWHILE
UPPER MONTANA RIVER
Wetting a small rag with some gun oil, Arthur gently cleaned his revolver as he relaxed in a rocking chair, keeping himself warm by the fireplace while Isaac slept on a nearby couch.
It was still pretty early in the morning -- roughly only an hour or two after dawn -- and Arthur had just woken up from a night of some much needed rest.
So far, no one had come wandering near their cabin aside from a few deer and a handful of coyotes, but overall, things were relatively calm in the region. And Arthur didn’t trust it one bit.
He never liked staying in the same place for too long. With the amount of people tracking him down these days, it was always one hell of a risk to remain in one location for more than a day.
Arthur couldn’t count the amount of times he’d been greeted by the barrel of a gun upon waking up in his tent, or ambushed by bounty hunters when he tried to cook a meal. And even though he knew Isaac was in serious need of some sleep, he couldn’t help but feel things were a little too peaceful, considering the circumstances.
Where was Dutch? Or the Pinkertons? Arthur supposed the Van der Linde gang would require some time to regroup as well, but the fact that he hadn’t seen any sign of the law out here made him suspicious.
It didn’t take him much effort to follow Isaac’s tracks to this cabin, so he found it difficult to believe that the Pinkertons didn’t know where they were either. They had a small army of men backing them up, so it was far more plausible that they had already discovered Arthur’s location, but were simply waiting for the right moment to strike.
He’d have to keep an extra close eye out today.
Placing the rag down, Arthur slipped the revolver back into his holster and reached for his hunting knife, wanting to sharpen it a bit before heading back out.
His hope for today was that he and Isaac would be able to catch some food in the wilderness once they got everything settled, but judging by how close the Pinkertons were to them, Arthur assumed they wouldn’t be the only ones hunting in the woods.
It just made him wonder when all this pandemonium would finally come to an end. Would he, by some miracle, actually manage to escape the world of outlaws and keep Isaac safe? Or would it all come crumbling down just like the gang, and throw them to the wolves?
He supposed only time would tell.
Dragging the stone down the edge of his blade, Arthur paused mid-action when he heard Isaac let out a sudden gasp, causing him to jolt his head in the boy’s direction.
It looked like the young man was still asleep, but at the moment, he was twisting restlessly on the couch and breathing in a panicked rhythm, moving his legs in a way that almost felt like he was trying to run away from something.
“Isaac?” Arthur said, attempting to wake the man, but to no avail. He put his knife down and walked over to the couch, kneeling beside the boy.
“Isaac.” He repeated, a bit more firmly this time.
The young man shook his head in fear, still trapped in his dreams.
“...No...” he muttered softly. “...S-Stop...!”
Arthur gripped Isaac’s shoulder, gently shaking him awake. “Isaac, wake up.”
Feeling the touch of Arthur’s hand, the boy suddenly sprung into consciousness and snapped his eyes open, frantically observing the room as his mind tried to calm itself from its alarmed state.
“What...?” Isaac exclaimed in a breathy voice, bringing himself into a sitting position. His gaze landed on Arthur. “...D-Dad?”
Arthur patted his shoulder in a comforting manner, giving him a reassuring smile. “You’re alright, kiddo. You was just havin’ a bad dream. Ain’t nothing wrong.”
Isaac sighed out of relief at the news and slouched in his seat, taking a moment to relax as Arthur eyed him worriedly.
“You okay?” The older man checked.
“Yeah...” Isaac replied, sliding a hand down his face. “I’m fine. I just... thought the dreams would stop by now.”
“These dreams happen often?”
“Almost every night.”
Arthur was quiet for a second, hesitant to ask his next question. “...Was it about Eliza?”
Isaac nodded, his eyes drooping with fatigue. “They always are. Though, it was different this time.”
“Different how?”
The boy waved a dismissive hand. “Ah... I don’t wanna bore you with the details. It ain’t that interesting, believe me.”
Arthur leaned in closer, grinning. “Try me.”
The young man flipped through his memories, trying to recall the events from his dreams.
“Well... usually, it’ll start off in my room back at mom’s cabin. I’m always a little kid in these nightmares, so everything’s taller than me. I’ll be playin’ with some of my toys, mindin’ my own business... when suddenly, I’ll hear a lotta commotion coming from downstairs. Like someone’s breakin’ into the house. I can tell something’s wrong, so I’ll hide under my bed. Meanwhile, there’ll be these men shouting at each other. They clearly ain’t friendly, so I won’t move from my hiding spot.”
“After a while, though,” Isaac carried on, “I’ll hear a gunshot. Followed by mom’s screaming. After that, I’ll hear a second gunshot, and the screamin’ stops. I’ll run downstairs and slam the door open, and mom’ll just be lyin’ there on the floor. Dead. Staring at me.”
Arthur admittedly found himself horrified by the details that Isaac described from memory, but brushed over it nonetheless.
“...And this time?”
Isaac’s expression fell flat. “This time... Shay was there, too. Normally, it’s just mom’s body that I find, but in this dream, Shay’s corpse was next to her. Staring at me just the same.”
The older man sighed morosely and rubbed his chin, thinking about everything the boy said.
“Sounds to me like you’re feelin’ guilty about killing him.”
Isaac shrugged. “Guilty? I dunno if I’d call it that, but... I sure as hell ain’t as content as I thought I’d be. It’s all just... so confusing.”
The young man gazed at Arthur inquisitively, curious about his experiences.
“Do you ever have dreams like that, Dad? Do you see the people you kill?”
Arthur nodded, somewhat ashamed to open up about his misdeeds in the past.
“Sometimes. It’s inevitable, after all. Takin’ a life ain’t easy, and it don’t come without a cost. When you kill someone, you’re also killin’ a part of yourself. If you’re still feelin’ conflicted about Shay’s death, then perhaps that means you haven’t lost yourself completely.”
Isaac glanced downwards, trying to make sense of his thoughts. “Maybe. I don’t know.”
He brought his focus back to Arthur, abruptly switching the topic.
“Anyway, I didn’t mean to ramble on about that for so long. We got things to do, and I imagine it’d be best if we got outta here as soon as possible. Any ideas on where we should start?”
Arthur rose to his feet, gesturing outside. “Well, since we got clear weather today, I figured we could go hunting for some food. Maybe stop by the river and catch a few fish, too.”
Isaac smiled in an impressed manner. “You a good fisherman?”
The other man scoffed. “Heh, not even close. But I get by. Well enough to survive, at least.”
“That’s good,” the boy remarked, “because I’d wager I’m even worse. Guess I know who I get it from now.”
Arthur laughed at that. “Who knows, if our luck holds up, maybe we’ll manage to catch some seaweed. Now, c’mon. We should get outta here.”
Isaac’s eyes widened in remembrance. “Oh, wait, before we leave, there is somethin’ else we should do first.”
“Yeah? What’s that?”
The boy stood up from the couch, stretching his arms. “You know that money I stole from your gang? Well, it was quite a good sum. Enough to keep us goin’ for a while. Problem is, I don’t have it with me. But I do know where it’s hidden... and it won’t be easy to reach.”
Arthur didn’t like where this was going. “Where’d you hide it?”
“Just outside Blackwater. It’s in the trunk of this big ol’ tree. I stuffed it in there ‘cause I assumed Dutch’s boys wouldn’t go anywhere near that town once they was done robbing the bank.”
Arthur let out a worried breath. “Well, you were correct. You think it’s worth the risk? How much money did you steal from us?”
Isaac whipped up a rough estimation. “Around two thousand.”
“Two thousand?” The older man repeated. “Jesus Christ. I didn’t realize Dutch had saved that much. He always made it sound like the gang was damn-near destitute. We could certainly use that money, but there’s a whole lotta Pinkertons swarmin’ that area.”
“I know, but it ain’t like we got any other options. Any good ones, that is.”
Isaac studied the look on his father’s face, interested to hear his advice on the matter.
“...So? What’re you thinking?”
Arthur contemplated their choices, clearly reluctant to head back to Blackwater. The town’s population had practically been entirely replaced by Pinkertons, after all, and with the Van der Lindes’ recent robbery at the bank, he imagined the law had only gotten tighter around there.
If he and Isaac were going to retrieve that money, they wouldn’t be able to let anyone see them. Not a single soul. They’d have to go in, and out. No questions asked, no traces left behind.
“Alright.” Arthur finally decided. “We’ll go. I’ll follow you for now, since you know where it’s hidden, but stay close to me, alright? And do as I say. I ain’t takin’ any chances around these Pinkertons.”
Isaac nodded firmly. “Sounds good. But... you can’t really follow me if you don’t have a horse of your own. I assume you left it at Tall Trees?”
“Yeah. Poor girl’s probably lost somewhere in that forest by now.”
The boy offered a suggestion. “Well, tell you what -- when we get the money back, I’ll go into Blackwater and buy you a new horse from the stables. I don’t have any wanted posters pinned up in that town, so it should be safe for me to roam around.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah,” Isaac replied. “We can’t always ride on the same horse. Besides, I think Aldo will appreciate not havin’ to carry double the weight.”
Arthur chuckled. “Fair point. Alright, then. We go to Blackwater, we get the money, you buy a new horse, and then we disappear from this goddamn state. Got it?”
“Got it.”
The older man gathered their things and headed for the door, holding tightly onto his guns.
“Then let’s get going.”
~~~~~~~~~~
A WHILE LATER
SOMEWHERE OUTSIDE BLACKWATER
Trotting through the empty fields that surrounded Blackwater, Isaac scanned the landscape for a particularly large tree while Arthur kept a lookout for any Pinkertons, both of them on high alert.
There were a few scattered patrols traveling along the roads in the distance, but it didn’t look like any of them had noticed Arthur’s presence so far. They were mainly concerned with the city’s entrances more than anything, and appeared to be observing all the people who came into town.
If Isaac was going to head down to stables later, he’d have to avoid the law completely. He may not have had any posters hanging around the city, but Arthur still didn’t like the idea of him wandering too close to those vultures.
He had seen for himself just how untrustworthy they could be, and even though Isaac gave them that tip about the robbery, Arthur had no doubts that Ross would turn on Isaac in the blink of an eye if it meant he could get his next paycheck.
That man was even more a snake than Milton ever was, and Arthur had a feeling he would end up being far more trouble than he was worth.
That was usually how it went with these types of folk.
“There it is!” Isaac pointed out, gesturing to a tree not too far from them. “The money’s in the trunk.”
“Alright then,” Arthur replied, coughing into his elbow. “You go on and fetch it. I’ll keep an eye out.”
Hopping off of Aldo, Isaac swiftly made his way over to the tree and climbed on top of a boulder, allowing him to reach the hole in the trunk where the money had been hidden.
“Looks like it’s all still here.” He announced, counting the bills in his hand.
“Good. You think it’ll be enough to buy a new mount?”
“Should be.” Isaac stuffed a chunk of the money in his pocket, giving the rest to Arthur. “Here, take this. I won’t need all of it at the stables. Now... you got any preference? Any specific breed or color you want?”
The older man wasn’t too picky.
“Anything fast and strong’ll do me just fine,” he settled, getting off of Aldo. “Just... make sure it ain’t an Arabian.”
Isaac raised a brow. “You sure? Arabians are some of the best horses out there.”
“Yeah, and they’re also some of the tiniest. Do I look like I could fit on one of them?”
The boy chuckled at the image. “Fair enough. Okay then. I’ll go to the stables and find you a ‘not an Arabian.’ Wait here with Aldo. I’ll be back soon.”
Strolling off into the distance, Isaac covertly made his way into Blackwater as the Pinkertons circled the town around him, oblivious to his presence there.
Meanwhile, Arthur stood next to the tree and leaned against its trunk as Aldo casually munched on a clump of grass, patiently waiting for his owner to return.
Arthur had to admit -- despite practically having the entire world against him at the moment, he felt much more at peace now that he was with Isaac.
He still felt somewhat guilty for leaving Dutch behind after promising so much to him, but now that he was free from the old man’s iron fist, Arthur couldn’t deny that things were much better. Much calmer.
It was like he could finally breathe. He no longer had to worry about his every move, or setting Dutch off by saying the wrong thing. Right now, it was just him and his son, traveling alone in the American wilderness. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Don’t worry, boy,” Arthur said to Aldo, soothing the horse after it let out a nervous whinny. “Isaac’ll be back soon, and then you’ll have a new partner.”
“So will you, it seems.”
Whirling around at the sudden voice, Arthur went straight for his revolver and nearly yanked the thing out, only to freeze mid-action when he realized he had been cornered by Agent Ross himself.
The man was once again accompanied by his friend Agent Fordham, and had a hefty-looking shotgun resting on his shoulder. Judging by their calm temperament, Arthur assumed the two of them had been expecting to catch him alone today, and it only made him wonder just how long these snakes had been following him.
“What’re you doin’ here?” Arthur asked, his voice low and wary.
Edgar’s expression twisted with annoyance. “Cleaning up Dutch’s mess, obviously. You boys certainly caused quite the commotion at Blackwater’s bank, blowing it up with dynamite and whatnot. Robberies like that don’t just undo themselves, you know. It’s the civilized folk -- folk like me -- who have to sweep away the damage you savages cause. But I must admit... I’m surprised to see you’re not with Dutch any longer. I assume Mr. Van der Linde finally snapped?”
Arthur sighed in frustration. “The man snapped ages ago. Your people just sped up the process.”
“My people,” Edgar emphasized, “are simply doing what we must to survive. We wouldn’t have to constantly make use of the gallows if your people only followed the rules of our society. Society isn’t just run by one man, Mr. Morgan. It’s run by the politicians, the police officers, the responsible citizens of America -- by order. It’s what makes us... different from you.”
The outlaw scoffed, uninterested in the Pinkerton’s rhetoric.
“Whatever you say, agent. All I know is what I’ve seen. And from what I’ve seen, you lot is just as rotten as we are. Now, tell me what you’re doin’ here so we can get this over with.”
Edgar snickered in amusement. “Ooh, tough guy, aren’t you? Very well, then. Allow me to get straight to the point. I’m here to offer you a deal, Mr. Morgan.”
“A deal?” Arthur repeated in bewilderment. “I don’t deal with Pinkertons.”
“Just... hear me out.” The agent persisted, restraining his irritation. “Obviously, you care quite a big deal about that boy you’re traveling with. And before you ask, yes, we know all about Isaac. In fact, his file’s sitting on my desk right next to yours. He’s a tragic tale, really. Mother murdered at age six, father a well-known criminal. He’s a smart young man. It’s a shame he had to end up with the likes of you.”
“Which is why...” Edgar continued, “Agent Fordham and I have agreed to extend a hand of mercy here. Your son is still very young, Mr. Morgan. If he plays his cards right, he could make something of his life. So, here’s my offer. Turn yourself in, and we’ll leave Isaac alone. I can’t guarantee the law will show any leniency with you, but we’ll make sure the boy doesn’t swing.”
Arthur almost laughed at the incredibly dubious deal.
“You really expect me to believe you?”
“I expect you to be smart. Though, I don’t expect Isaac will be happy even if you accept. So sit down with him. Talk to him about my deal. Convince him not to come after you once we’ve taken you away, and let him live a civilized life. You’re his father, after all. Isn’t his happiness your main priority?”
Arthur glowered at Ross. “...My main priority is to keep him safe. I may not be the most intelligent man out there, Mr. Ross, but I ain’t a fool neither. For all I know, this is could just be some plan to separate me and the boy. That way, you can attack Isaac when he’s all alone, and I’m not there to protect him. Well, forget it.”
The Pinkerton didn’t seem fazed by the response. “Well, fortunately for you, I’m giving you three days to think about it. Decisions like this aren’t made overnight, I understand. But for your sake, and the boy’s, I hope you’ll come to your senses. All I ask... is that you consider it.”
The outlaw gave him a cautious look. “...And if I don’t accept?”
“Then we’ll just have to kill you both.” Edgar answered simply. “So I’d suggest that you sharpen up and realize... your life is already over, Mr Morgan. Now, it’s just a matter of how it ends. So choose wisely.”
Tugging on his horse’s reins, Edgar turned around and steadily began making his way back to Blackwater, beckoning Fordham to follow him.
“If you change your mind,” he called out, “come find me at my office in Blackwater. I’ve ordered my men to stand down for the next three days. Don’t make me regret it.”
Breaking into a sprint, the two Pinkertons galloped away from the scene and disappeared over the horizon, leaving Arthur alone with his thoughts as he waited for Isaac to come back.
The outlaw wasn’t sure what to make of all this. Was it possible that Edgar was being sincere for once? That man may have been a conniving bastard with a deceitful tongue, but Arthur knew Fordham to be more of an upstanding citizen. Perhaps this was his doing, and the deal was genuine.
If that was the case, then Arthur’s answer was pretty clear. The last thing he wanted was for any harm to come to Isaac, so if turning himself in was the only way to prevent it, then he would do it in a heartbeat.
On the flip side however... if this turned out to be just another one of Edgar’s traps, he couldn’t leave Isaac to deal with them alone.
The boy was skilled, that was for certain. But even he couldn’t fight them all on his own.
Arthur supposed he’d just have to sit the boy down and talk with him about it. He had a feeling he already knew what Isaac was going to say, but it was his safety that mattered here. Not Arthur’s.
He already lost the boy once thanks to Shay and his men all those years ago, and he definitely didn’t plan on letting it happen again. Not when so much was at stake.
“Dad?” Isaac called, returning to the tree with a new horse in his possession. “I’m back. I got you a nice Andalusian. They had a Shire horse sittin’ in there, but I thought he was too bulky. Figured you might like somethin’ with a bit more flexibility.”
When Arthur didn’t respond, the boy walked up to him and gazed at him worryingly, noticing his uneasy demeanor.
“...Dad?” He said again. “You okay?”
Arthur snapped out of his thoughts, still unnerved by his encounter with the Pinkertons. “Y-Yeah. Thank you, son. C’mon, let’s get outta here.”
“You sure?” Isaac checked. “You seem kinda... nervous.”
“Yes, I’m sure.” Arthur replied, sounding a bit more stern than he intended. “Now come on. We need to leave.”
The boy clearly wasn’t convinced, but decided to drop it nonetheless. “...Okay. I’m ready when you are.”
Mounting up, Arthur and Isaac quickly hopped onto their horses before removing themselves from the area, eager to get the hell out of West Elizabeth with the money. Lord knew this state had already caused them more than a lifetime’s worth of problems, but with Edgar’s deal now sitting in the back of Arthur’s mind, he couldn’t help but wonder if leaving the state was the best course of action right now.
They only had three days to decide, after all. If they wandered too far from Blackwater, they wouldn’t be able to make it back if Arthur chose to accept his deal. Perhaps they could’ve lingered around Strawberry for a little while, but of course, there was the risk of running into Dutch if they did that.
Arthur just didn’t know what to do anymore. He thought sticking with Isaac would provide him a sense of clarity, but instead, all he found so far was a new list of issues to tackle.
There seemed to be conflict no matter where he went, and with his future now hanging by a thread, Arthur questioned if Isaac would be better off without him.
The only thing he knew for certain was that, unlike before, he now had a family worth fighting for. He had no idea where this road was going to take them, or if they’d even reach the end, but protecting Isaac was the only thing he cared about now.
And he’d be damned if he let those Pinkertons get their hands on him.
#red dead redemption 2#red dead redemption#rdr2#arthur morgan#isaac morgan#dutch van der linde#Micah Bell#rdr2 fanfic#rdr2 oc
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Security.
A/n: just some dumb emotional blurb about what it’s like being a spider-person. Had this idea after writing tag, but wasn’t sure how tag was going to do, so i waited and kept this in my notes. anyways, i hope you guys enjoy it!
Warnnings: It’s a bit angsty? mentions of death, negative emotions, just kinda sad for a while. A real somber tone, if you would.
It was your typical night of patrolling. You were lounging on the roof of a building, unphased by the lack of crime happening. You were starting to think that criminals were actually scared of you and Peter. Maybe they were, and they were right for feeling that way.
You were admiring all the glowing lights of the city, paying no mind to the various noises of the night. You and Peter hadn’t spoken a lot since you’d gotten out here, but again, that was typical. Peter liked to focus, and you never felt the need to bother him. Normally, he’d speak first. ….Normally, it’d be some pop culture joke. But not tonight.
You heard a sniffle, and that’s what snapped you out of your daydream. It wasn’t cold enough to cause your nose to run, and besides, Tony had installed those heaters into the suits. So even if you were chilly, the suit would recognize that and heat you back up. Was Peter….Crying?
“Pete?” you asked quietly.
“Oh!” he cleared his throat and sat up a little straighter, “Yeah? See something?”
“Are you okay?”
He hesitated, “I’m…Alright.”
You moved closer to him, “You’re a bad liar, Peter.”
Peter slouched once more and made sure he was out of anyone’s view before he took off his mask. He held it so gingerly in his hands, looking down at it. You couldn’t read his face, there were too many emotions. You took off your mask as well, setting it in your lap, “If you wanna talk…I’m here.”
Peter didn’t break eye contact with the mask, “I’ve never told anyone who wasn’t my aunt May, but..Sometimes..”
You tilted your head a little after hearing his voice crack on the last word.
“Why do bad things happen to good people?”
That was a lot …Heavier than you were anticipating, but then again, you often thought that yourself. You waited a moment and let out a breath, “I… I don’t know, Pete. I’m not sure. I was always told that things happen for a reason.”
Peter thought about that last bit. It was true. Everything that happens, always has a reason. He became Spider-man to protect people.. But on the other side of the coin, it costed him a lot more than what he was willing to ever sacrifice. It costed him everything, if he was being truly honest.
It took one of the people who truly meant everything to him away. He finds himself thinking about what happened more often than he’d admit. He remembers that night. He remembers the crowd of people. He remembers pushing through them and immediately regretting that decision.
He remembers every detail about Uncle Ben that night. He could even tell you the brand of shirt he was wearing. That wasn’t important to any ordinary person, but to Peter, it was everything.
A carjacker, they said. A shooter, one corrected. Peter didn’t care which one it was. He can only remember holding Ben’s hand until Ben couldn’t anymore. He could tell you how awful it was to watch the life fade from Ben’s eyes as his breathing stopped. He remembers the onlookers gasping or some crying, and he remembers the sobs that came out of himself. He wanted it to be him. It was his fault. He remembers hearing where the murderer was heading, and he remembers going after him.
He could tell you the hatred he felt in that moment. He could tell you how he cornered the man, and accidentally killed him. He could tell you, moment for moment, what it felt like to watch the man as he tripped and fall out of the warehouse window. The last thing he will ever remember about that man was the way he had reached out his hand and begged for help as he fell back, but all Peter did was watch.
He hadn’t meant to let the man die, but something inside of him let it happen. And he still doesn’t regret it. He knows Ben would’ve been upset, but Peter thought it was justice. And it was also the moment after looking out the broken window that he realized he needed to protect this city, and the world if he could.
He needed to protect everyone so ensure that there would never be another Ben. He never wanted to relive that moment of going home. He never wanted to hear aunt May cry again. He never wanted to remember the look on her face, or the way she dropped the phone. He never, ever wanted to relive the moments of having to tell her what had happen. He wished he didn’t have to live through the aftermath of it all. He never wanted to remember the feeling of watching Ben being lowered into his final resting place. It was something he’d seen too much of.
It brought back the memories of his parents. He was so young, and couldn’t fully understand. All he remembers is that they went away for work one day and never came home. All he can recall is May helping him fix his child sized dress top as they prepared to head out for something. A funeral, May had told him. He had never been to one of those.
He remembers seeing so many sad people, but never asked why.
He remembers not going home to his bed that night, mostly because his things were already at May’s place. They stayed there for a long time. Until he grew out of them, if he remembers correctly.
He never went home.
So young and fragile, May had sheltered him from the pain, and did her best to ease him into this new life with her and Ben. It was a good life. There was plenty of books to read, meals to eat, places to sleep. He still didn’t understand. Then one day he did.
There was a picture of his parents that was always by his bedside, on the wooden night table his parents had bought for him years ago. He remembers his small hands carrying the picture to May. He asked why they didn’t want to take him home.
That was the day he learned what misery was. It all made sense to him. That was the day that little Peter Parker had made a promise to himself.
There would be no more misery in this world so long as he was around. It was this series of moments that made him Spider-man. He became a hero built on pain, loss, and unbelievable grief. And he’s used it for good. Or so he thought. Most days he wasn’t too sure of himself.
“Peter?”
He looked over at you with a tear running down his face, he quickly looked back down at the mask. He wasn’t sure what to say, so he just began replaying a mantra in his head.
“My uncle,” Peter said almost as if he wasn’t sure where to begin or end, “He always told me that great power came with great responsibility.”
You lifted a hand to gently put on Peter’s back, but stopped midway when his words caught you off guard.
“What if I ….Don’t want the power.. Or the responsibility…Anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
“I,” he sighed, sounding selfish, “I have these powers and I chose to be Spider-man, but what if I choose to be something else instead.”
You really wanted to make a joke to lighten the mood, but you knew better. You set your hand back on the cool cement of the roof and looked away, “I don’t think you get that choice anymore. I don’t think any of us do.”
“Being Spider-man costed me everything….It costed me my uncle, it….I..”
You rubbed your arm, feeling a stitched up wound reopen as your heard your own voice cracked, “It costed me my mom.”
It was in that moment that Peter realized something. Something very important that he had forgotten over the last few weeks. Spider-man was not a symbol of loss, but a symbol of hope and strength.
“I didn’t mean to cut you off,” you didn’t bother to look at him, “I just thought maybe…You’d..Know you were alone.”
“I’m sorry.”
“What for? You didn’t ask to lose someone important to you..” You wiped your eyes and finally turned back to look at him, “I just want you to know that I get it, Peter.”
Peter looked you over for a moment or two. It was so bizarre and jarring to see you cry. He had only see you cry once, but that’s because you found his joke so funny that you had actually started crying. But now you were crying out of pain, and he wasn’t sure how to feel. Maybe this was a good thing.
“I never like to get personal because, well,” You sighed, wiping your face again before looking down at all the city lights again, “It was just so sudden..She was always sick, but, we thought she was getting better.”
Much like Peter, you remember every tiny detail about that day too. You remember how her hair was styled, you remember how she had been so happy and full of joy just a few hours before. It was a curse having to remember it all.
It was a curse remember how the nurses had to drag you out of the room screaming. It was a curse knowing that there was nothing you could do. Despite having powers, you were utterly powerless.
It was a curse remembering what her grave looked like. It was adorn with all her favorite flowers that you had swung around the city gathering. You never wanted to tell a soul how god awful it all felt.
You never wanted to get close to another living thing out of fear that this would happen again. But Peter kinda messed that up. You had already gotten close to him. You didn’t mean to, it just happened.
You remember how approving your mother was of him. She was even fond of him, constantly telling you that you should ‘make a move.’ You always got embarrassed and told her it wasn’t like that, but she could always see right through you.
She always knew what you wanted, even when you thought you didn’t. She knew you. She loved you.
The morning after everything, you had woken up to an empty home. In fact, it wasn’t home at all. She wasn’t singing anymore. Her bed was cold. Dishes from the days prior were still in the sink. You didn’t want to be there.
It didn’t feel right.
It didn’t feel like home anymore.
You had found yourself staying at Peter’s place most nights. May never minded, she never really did. You took the top bunk of Peter’s bed. The nights were always silent and heavy. Both of you knew something was bothering the other, but neither of you wanted to talk first.
Most of the nights you laid so you could look out the window. You looked up at the sky and wondered which star was your mother. Was she there at all? Maybe this was all a bad dream and she was waiting for you at home. It was thoughts like that that really made it sink in. She just wasn’t there anymore.
You knew better than to let anyone see you cry, so you kept it all in. You had to pick up the pieces and try to make the most out of what was left. It didn’t seem fair, and it wasn’t, but life wasn’t fair. It would never be fair.
“I just..I don’t know..” You looked at your hands, “I still can’t wrap my head around it. Not to mention that I have no idea where I’m going to be moving to-”
“Moving?”
You remembered that you weren’t going to tell Peter that last bit because you didn’t want to hurt him. It was a big legal mess. Now that your sole guardian was gone, you were currently staying with your grandparents, but they were getting too old to do much, so they thought it’d be best to move you out of state to live with your aunt. That was your only option. You had no other family, and no other family in New York, for that matter.
“My grandparents can’t take care of me, and my aunt is a last resort.”
“What about your dad?”
Another sour note has been struck, but you kept a brave face. You honestly didn’t know what to say exactly. Your mom was always so secretive about who he was. You thought for the longest time it was out of shame, but you realized, it was just because she had moved on. She made a good life for you, so she didn’t think i twas really necessary to stress you out with the ‘I don’t know’’s and the 'I’m not sure’’s.
“I don’t know him,” you smiled a little at the thought that ran through your head, “All I remember is my mom describing him as some suave, rich party boy. Always told me he was some sort of famous celebrity. Never bothered to try to find him, mainly because I’m a nobody, you know?”
Peter looked out at the lights as well. It was so quiet now. You were leaving? Peter didn’t want to admit it, like most things, but you were like his rock. You were the only person who truly understood because you were exactly like him. Sure, Ned knew, but Ned would never know how it truly feels.
For a second, Peter thought that maybe if you’d found your dad, you could stay. But there was a long list of famous party men in New York, and he didn’t have time to just go down the list. And of course, Peter being who he is, and knowing the people he does, the first party goer that came to mind was Mr. Stark, but Tony never seemed like the type of guy to just do something like that.
Then again, he wasn’t always responsible. Okay, he is never responsible. He was the type of man who loved danger almost as much as he loved his music. Or Pepper, but he’d never tell anyone that. Why would he?
“Of course you know,” you said after the long silence, “You’re the biggest nobody I know, Peter.”
“How comforting. Thank you.”
You chuckled, “Kidding. Kidding.”
The mood in Peter’s head shifted completely. He was no longer weighed down by this darkness. Sure, he still felt a little bit like hot garbage, but hey, you were here. He liked that. He liked you. He liked your laugh, the design of your suit, the way you said his name. He liked most things that other people would hate. He loved how ridiculous your handwriting was. He loved how sometimes you could outsmart him, or even when you constantly tapped your writing utensil on things.
If you left, who would he have? May, of course. Tony, obviously. Ned, most of the time. Who would he sit with on the rooftops at midnight when 95% of the city was sleeping? Who would occasionally bring snacks or extra homework supplies when they knew he needed them? Nobody.
“So,” Peter swallowed hard, “When, uh, when do you, uhm…Leave.”
“Not sure.” you shrug, trying not to seem bothered by it, “If only I knew who my dad was, and by some miracle he was in New York, this wouldn’t be an issue.”
“I’ll help you.” he blurted out.
“What?”
“Find your dad. I’ll help you.”
“Why the sudden interest?”
“You can’t leave,” he sighed, “You just can’t.”
“I don’t have a choice-”
“You always have a choice. Just like you chose to be Sp-”
“I think the law is just a little different from being a vigilante. I could be wrong, but-”
You were caught off guard by Peter pulling you into a hug. This was new, he’s never done this before. Normally you two awkwardly fist bumped or high-fived. Peter was too shy and too awkward for anything else.
“Oh, uh, okay.”
You slowly wrapped your arms around peter and rested your head on his shoulder. You felt safe and secure, and you wondered if he felt the same. He had to. Either way, you didn’t want it to end.
You wanted to stay here and just let Peter know that nothing will ever hurt him again. You wanted to tell him how you felt. You just wanted to stay with him. He made you feel strong when you didn’t even want to say the word weak. You didn’t want to seem cliche and say you needed him, but you did. Peter was home to you.
He was there for you after your mom died, even though tyou hadn’t told him why you were upset, he just assumed you were stressed about school. You two obviously were there for each other after the freak accidents that turned you into these weird scientific miracles or abominations, depending on who you ask.
“Just don’t leave. Okay?”
“I’ll try not to.”
Peter clung to you a little tighter, as if you were really his rock and he was about to be swept away and into the unforgiving sea. There’s so much he still wanted to tell you if he got the chance. He wanted to tell you how he felt, how wonderful he thought you were. He wanted to tell you that you were right. Things do happen for a reason.
Everything that happened with his parents. Everything that’s happened since moving in with May and Ben. Everything that happened to Ben. As bittersweet as it was to say, it was all meant to happen. Becoming Spider-man? Also meant to happen. Meeting you, being with you, falling in love with you? He wouldn’t trade it for anything. He understands that now.
“It’s getting late.” you said quietly.
Peter sighed a little, still holding you in his warm embrace. He smiled a little, enjoying the moment, and he promised himself to enjoy any moment like this from now on. If you did have to leave, even after everything, there was one thing Peter would not hesitate to tell you. You were the best thing that has ever happened to him.
“Just a little longer.”
#peter parker imagine#peter parker x reader#spiderman x reader#spiderman imagine#marvel imagine#marvel x reader#tom holland imagine#tom holland x reader
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when the party’s over [2] |h.o.
Word Count: 1.5 K
Warnings: angsty but there will be a happy ending soon i promise
Summary: You’d always been in love with Harrison, but how long would you have to wait for him to notice you?
A/N: haha I'm back and I'm going to finish what I started! there will be 3 or 4 parts to this :) Read PART ONE HERE
masterlist | series masterlist
The minute Harrison saw you, he knew he had messed up. He didn’t know you had been standing there, and judging from the look on your face you had heard everything.
Why the hell did he say that? What had possessed him?
Harrison tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t come out. The look of pure brokenness on your face cut him to the core. When the tears spilled from your eyes, he wanted to die.
He had done that to you. He’d made you cry, and it was all his fault.
“Y/N, no wait!” Harrison yelled, as you turned and ran from the building. He tried to go after you, but Maya held him back.
“What are you doing? I have to go find her!” Harrison hissed, but Maya gave him a stern glare.
“Are you serious?! It’s our anniversary, you can’t just leave! Why do you suddenly care anyway, we all heard what you said?” She asked, and Harrison’s heart sank. Maya was right, he wasn’t supposed to care.
But he did.
“I don’t care, I’m going after her.” He said, leaving Maya standing alone livid. Harrison pushed past the hoards of people, catching the eye of the bartender who had seen the whole thing.
“You’re a dick!” He yelled, shaking his head. On any other day, Harrison would have punched his lights out, but he knew the man was right. Only a dick would hurt someone so perfect.
He just hoped he’d be able to find you.
Eventually, Harrison made his way out of the bar and saw you take off. Though you were wearing heels, this was the fastest he’d ever seen you move.
“Y/N! Please wait!” He shouted, but it seemed to make no difference. You kept running, refusing to look back. Harrison followed, trying to keep up. But you turned a corner, and Harrison lost sight of you.
“Shit, shit, shit. Where did she go?” He panted, staring abysmally into the dark. It was late, and he knew that you didn’t know how to get home on your own. Worst case scenarios began to play in his mind and he frantically searched for his phone.
Harrison couldn’t find it.
“I left it in the bar.” Harrison hissed, slapping himself for his stupidity. He sprinted back, pushing past the swarms coming through the door to find Maya. She was still right where he had left her, with those vapid people they called ‘friends’.
“Maya, where’s my phone?” Harrison shouted, trying to make his voice louder than the music. Maya turned, her eyes cold and angry.
“Why? She doesn’t want you to call anyway.” She sneered, holding the phone away from him. Harrison rolled his eyes, and grabbed it from her reach. The bartender was watching from a distance, and when he saw Harrison reach his phone, he gave a nod of approval.
“I’m going to find her. Don’t wait up.” He turned away, leaving Maya fuming and their friends whispering to each other.
Harrison found himself back outside, alone on the dimly lit sidewalk. He brought out his phone, but to his dismay found that it was dead. Of course, Maya had chosen to omit that bit of information.
Now what?
There wasn’t a charger in sight, and the nearest pharmacy was three miles away. He knew Maya would never let him borrow her phone, and no doubt she had told their friends to do the same.
Harrison looked around and spotted a couple on the steps outside the bar, both on their phones. He walked over and asked if he could borrow one, which the woman kindly obliged him. But when he went to dial your number, he found that he couldn’t remember it.
Just like the phone number, Harrison had always taken you for granted. He’d never imagined his life without you in it.
Now he was starting to feel the withdrawal effects.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The plane ride back to chilly Boston was uneventful to say the least. As you had expected, there was not a single call or text from Harrison. You couldn’t decide whether you were angry or disappointed, so you settled on both.
Screw him, honestly.
Determined to put him out of your mind, you wiped away a stray tear and turned back to your book. It was riveting, but every so often you would be drawn back to the events of a couple hours ago and your eyes would water again.
Even with an ocean between you, Harrison still had some hold over you,
Frustrated, you shut the book and closed your eyes. Maybe with a little sleep, things would look better. Just as you began to doze off, the overhead announcement sounded above.
“Thank you for flying Blue Airlines, we hope you enjoy your stay in Massachusetts.”
You groaned quietly, shifting to peer out the window. Sure enough, there was snowy Boston just as you had left it four years ago to study at Cambridge. With a start, you felt the plane begin to descend, and you clutched the armrest anxiously. You hated landings with a passion, but the one person who was usually here to comfort you had just called you an insignificant placeholder.
Clutching your seat for dear life, the plane came to a bumpy stop. You breathed a sigh of relief, and after waiting for most of the cabin to depart, you grabbed your things and left. The airport was unusually empty, but it was early in the morning. Most flights would leave hours later.
A quick look at your phone confirmed that your mother was waiting for you outside. You smiled for the first time all night, eagerly anticipating going home again. You broke into a slight jog, removing your luggage from baggage claim and walking outside. The rest of your things would arrive later in the week, and you were glad you didn’t have much to worry about.
“Y/N!” A voice cried, and you turned to see your mother standing by the curb. You felt tears of joy paint your cheeks, and you ran to give her a hug. She smelled like cedarwood, her favorite scent, and you were suddenly aware that it had been far too long since you had last seen her.
“Mom, I’m so glad you’re here.” You cried, sniffling into her shoulder. She stroked your hair gently, letting you cry for a few minutes. When you had finished, she took your bags and put them in the trunk of the car. You slid into the passenger’s seat and inhaled sharply. Your mother sat in the driver’s seat and looked at you softly.
“When you want to tell me what happened, you can. But I won’t push you, okay?” She said, and you smiled gratefully. Your mother had always given you your space, never angling for information. She knew you would tell her when you were ready.
“Well, it is a long ride back home. I think we have enough time for the full recount.” You laughed, and your mother rolled her eyes.
So you told her everything. The party invitation, the bar scene, the awful truth. The only part you left out was your feelings for Harrison. They seemed insignificant now, just like your friendship with him.
“That’s everything?” Your mother asked at the end, keeping her eyes on the road. You nodded, picking at your top nervously.
“Yeah, that’s everything.” You looked out the window at the blur of people passing by, when your mother began to chuckle.
“Liar. You love him, don’t you?” You whirled around, utterly speechless.
How did she-
“You forget that I raised you. I know you well enough by now. This boy wouldn’t have affected you so much if he didn’t mean something to you.” Your face flushed pink, stunned by her words.
“I did love him, but that’s in the past now.” You muttered, staring at your hands. Your mother shrugged her shoulders.
“Maybe. Only time will tell, I suppose.” She pulled into the driveway of your three story home, and placed a hand on yours. “But don’t try and kill it so quickly. Weeds grow back unless you take them out carefully by the root.”
“Real poetic, mom.” You laughed, despite the fact that her words hit home. When the car came to a complete stop, you slung your bags over your shoulder and unlocked the front door. Within seconds, a little German Shepherd puppy came bounding towards you.
“Luna! My baby!” You squealed, scooping her up and kissing her head. She yipped happily, licking your face everywhere. With one hand you took her and the bags to your old room.
“Wow, nothing’s changed at all.” You whispered to no one in particular. Your mother had kept everything immaculate, but nothing had been moved or altered. It was exactly as you left it after graduation. The bedding was the same, your books were in the same order. Even your old Marvel posters were still hanging.
“Yell if you need something!” Your mother called from below, and you thanked her before falling on your bed in a heap. You stared at the ceiling, smiling when you realized your old glow in the dark stars were still there.
“It’s good to be home, Luna.” You whispered to the puppy sleeping on your lap, and for the first time all night, you were able to sleep.
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#harrison osterfield#haz osterfield#harrison osterfield x reader#harrison osterfield imagine#harrison osterfield fanfic#harrison osterfield fanfiction#harrison osterfield fic#harrison osterfield x you#harrison osterfield x y/n#harrison osterfield fluff#harrison osterfield angst#tom holland#tom holland x reader#when the party's over
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