#i'm using this time to make bad fanfic decisions | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

powdermelonkeg · 4 months

Note

just saw ur gale/mystra analysis post. im new to the game and dnd lore and honestly… ur take on their relationship feels like the most natural/compelling one??? esp since its all too easy to simplify topics that have many facets and nuance….

thanks for sharing i love analysis and reading people’s takes on narratives : D

My pleasure! (Bee from the future here: congrats, you spawned another meta!)

I love complicated characters, WAY more than I like a clear cut-and-dry case. Flaws, to me, are what make a character compelling and lead to interesting stories about them with choices that can get them into situations. I'm both writing a fanfic and running a campaign where I'm playing as Gale, and in the interest of portraying him properly and in-character, I've gone into SUCH a deep dive into all the decisions and facts that make him him.

It helps to, y'know, also be in love with the fictional wizard, but I digress

The thing about Baldur's Gate 3 is that no character in there is perfect. I've seen a couple analyses about the theme of continuing cycles of abuse vs breaking out of them, but in my mind, in terms of the characters themselves, it goes like this:

The origin characters have just come out of the lowest situation of their lives (Lae'zel being the exception; being tadpoled is a gith's worst nightmare. You're seeing that lowest situation in real time).

Not the lowest point, mind. Gale's lowest was probably the day after he got the Orb. Wyll's was probably the day his father cast him out. Karlach's was the day she lost her heart. But the lowest, accepted normal for them is what they've just left.

They're then thrown out of their depth and forced to rely on you to live. That's #1 priority: living. We get the extremes of these characters before we get their nuances, because they're quite literally at their breaking points.

Then once we get to know them, we see their wants, their hopes, their fears, as they open up to us. Every companion's story is at their own pace, but they all have a moment where they ping-pong between despondency and desire. Sometimes that desire is what we know isn't good for them, like Shadowheart wanting to be a Dark Justiciar. Sometimes that despondency is only for a flicker, like Astarion's realization that he's condemned 7000 people to a half-life of tortured spawnhood for as long as he's been a vampire.

Romance lets us crack all that open more, because if you pursue a romantic partner, they see you as their closest confidant. They WANT to trust you, so they're more willing to explain how they see the world and what decisions they want to chase.

And then their endings. Those often get simplified as good/bad, continuing the cycle vs breaking away from it. But how is Duke Wyll on the same platform as Ascended Astarion? He's not evil, he's not even entirely unhappy. He might even have broken out of his abusive cycle with Mizora, if you played your cards right. And Ascended Astarion is overjoyed, even if he is remarkably more cold.

I think that the endings are less a dichotomy of "this is good for them" vs "this is bad for them," and more one of "bringing out their best traits" vs "bringing out their worst."

Wyll's worst trait is being willing to sacrifice his own wants for whatever people desire of him. His best is standing for what he believes in and ensuring people are safe. Duke Wyll leans into that necessity to turn the other cheek in the name of people who count on him, while the Blade of Avernus has seized that moral compass of his and forged it out of mithral.

Shadowheart's worst trait is blind obedience at the cost of her individuality, while her best is her desire to be kind to things that don't deserve to be hurt. Mother Superior Shadowheart's whole life is defined by Shar. Selûnite Shadowheart's life is defined by her hospitality, especially towards animals.

Karlach's worst trait is how willing she is to accept that things are (to quote her) fucked, letting despair override hope. Her best is her durability in the face of horror. Exploded Karlach would rather die than try to work out a solution in the Hells, because she's terrified of facing Zariel alone. Mindflayer Karlach has accepted her fate and decides to give up her heart and soul to go out a hero, losing who she is. Fury of Avernus Karlach is willing to keep fighting for a solution, and by the time the epilogue happens, she's got her sights set on one.

Astarion's worst trait is his desire for power over people. His best trait is using the tools he has to his advantage. Ascended Astarion has let his powerhungry nature and paranoia lead all of his decisions, with his sights set on dominating mankind. Spawn Astarion has embraced what he is, and carved out a life for himself where he can do as he pleases.

Lae'zel's worst trait is her blind fanaticism, while her best trait is her individual dedication, making her loyalty a marriage of the two. Ascended Lae'zel is a meal for the lich queen, turning a blind eye to all Vlaakith's tried to do to her and literally being consumed by her fervor. Champion of Orpheus Lae'zel has turned her loyalty into something productive for diplomacy. Faerûnian Lae'zel has seized her individuality by the throat and decided her own future.

And then Gale. Gale's worst traits are his hubris and, paradoxically, his low self worth. His best traits are his creativity and wonder for the world. God Gale is the embodiment of ambition, having burned away all but that in pursuit of perfection. Exploded Gale has let his remorse blot out all hope for a redemption in which he does not die, because he thinks he's earned it. Professor Gale leads his life by embracing the school of Illusion and letting his creativity thrive, teaching others to do the same. House Husband Gale has multiple creative projects he's working on, and Adventurer Gale is always finding new sights to see and wanting to share them with you.

There are arguments to be made on which ending the origins are happiest in, certainly, or which one benefits them the most, but each ending represents the extreme of a facet they possess.

So with all that, there's a sort of malleable method to figuring out the ins and outs of a character.

You take their endings—all of them, all variables they can have—and reverse-engineer the flaws and details they carry. Then you start to notice how those work into their approvals for minor things: Astarion approving of your taking of the Blood of Lathander, or Shadowheart approving of standing up for Arabella. Getting a list of approvals and disapprovals is helpful, but having those endings on hand tells you why they react like that to a majority of their decisions.

You take their romance-route explanations of how they act, and apply those to earlier decisions. Astarion's confession to manipulating you and Araj-prompted admittance to using himself as a tool brings to light how he reacts to your decisions, regardless of his actual opinions on them. Wyll's fairytale romance and love of poetic adages speaks to his idealistic nature, and why he takes a sometimes-blinded approach to decisions in which the "right" answer isn't always the smart one.

You take their beginning reactions to stress and use that to measure how future decisions impact them. Lae'zel locks down and gets snappy when she's scared, while Gale immediately turns to diplomacy. Shadowheart has gallows humor, while Wyll turns to quiet acceptance. If they break from these and seem even worse, you know the situation is more dire in their minds than having seven days to live.

And then you factor in all their fun facts and dialogue choices and backstories.

A wizard falls in love with a goddess and her magic, attempts to retrieve a piece of her power for her, is scorned for his attempt and is cursed to die.

Give that backstory to a Tav. Look at how it changes.

A chaotic good wizard fell in love with a goddess, thought retrieving a piece of power for her would be a showy bouquet of love, and was punished for not thinking things through.

A lawful evil wizard fell in love with a goddess's power, snatched the most precious thing she owned, tried to use it to barter his way through to the secrets she kept, and was given a swift retribution.

Same backstory. Same class, same act, same goddess. Wildly different connotations. Wildly different conclusions as to who is in the wrong.

If you take all there is to Gale, all that the game shows us makes up his character, and apply it to this backstory, you get what really happened:

A wizard, enamored with magic, fell in love with a goddess. His desires led him to want more than she was willing to give. In his well-buried fear of inadequacy, he concluded that the reason she wouldn't indulge his ambitions was because he just hadn't proven himself worthy enough. So he tried to prove himself, but he lacked the context for what he was proving himself with. And the goddess, seeing a weapon that had killed her predecessor, saw this ambitious wizard as losing his way and coming for her just like the weapon's creator had. She was angry, she withdrew his link to her, and he didn't know why. So he drew the conclusion that she took his powers to punish him, and let that encompass his fall from grace.

Was he wrong to reach for what was out there?

If you knew that the answers to everything you cared about were not only known, but kept by someone you loved—someone who adored you—what would you do to ask to see them? What if your curiosities were if there were other planets with life out there, or how dark matter worked, or whether or not we could one day travel in the stars? What if it was the potential cure to an illness that's little-understood, or the way to make a program you dreamt up, or the scope of the true limits of your artistic talents? Would your answer change?

Was she wrong to cut him off?

If you were once hurt, and the person you loved—the person who adored you—brought the thing that caused it to your door, believing you'd want it, how would you react to seeing it? What if that thing was someone you thought you'd broken contact with, like a friend or family member you'd been trying to avoid? Would your answer change?

That's the sort of scope that needs to be applied to this, on both sides. You have to take the perspectives of each party, and apply two analogies instead of one.

Gale saw the vastness of the universe, untold wonders, the solution to every question he could ever dream up, and saw Mystra as withholding this from him because she thought he just wasn't worthy enough. To claim Mystra knew his perspective does her a disservice.

Mystra saw a cruel weapon she thought long gone, in the hands of someone who could use it, brought right to her, and thought Gale was willingly following the path of Karsus. To claim Gale knew her perspective does him a disservice.

Should Gale have researched his prize more, so he knew just what he was obtaining? Should he have kept his hands off a cursed book that would devour him? Of course he should have.

Should he have given up on chasing his dreams?

Should Mystra have understood that Gale's pursuit of power was nothing like Karsus'? Should she have communicated when she was angry instead of giving the cold shoulder? Of course she should have.

Should she have given him the benefit of the doubt?

That's the root of their falling out. That's what leads to hurt being inflicted. Understandable, human reactions to the situations they perceive. Unhealthy, unwise choices made afterwards.

You work backwards from this to figure out their dynamic as Chosen and goddess. You work forward from this to understand more of where Gale and Mystra are during the events of Baldur's Gate 3. Gale reached too high, and understands this. His goddess hates him, and he regrets this. Mystra isolated Gale, and understands this. Her Chosen wants redemption, and she wants to make it happen.

Just like we took Gale's character into account, we also have to take Mystra's.

A goddess is faced with a problem. She uses someone who's desperate for approval to solve it, by telling him to kill himself.

An evil goddess is faced with a threat to her reign. She sees someone who's unfailingly loyal and hates himself, and elects to have him tear himself apart rather than do anything about it.

A good goddess is terrified of the future. She sees someone who tried to hurt her, who's going to die anyways, and tells him to use it to save the world.

Same story. Same act, same power, same pawn. Different character. Different perspective. Different outlook on whether or not this is the right thing to do.

Mystra has died, multiple times, to people trying to stake claim to her domain. Someone appears with the very thing that could do it again, right as she's regained her stability.

She does not see mortals the way mortals do. She is timeless. She is eternal. She has a duty to protect billions of people, and one person lost to protect that number is more than worth the sacrifice.

People like to bring up the Seven Sisters as proof of Mystra's cruelty. For those unaware, Mystra asked permission to, then possessed, a woman, used her to court a man (with dubious consent from the woman), and bore seven children, all of whom were capable of bearing Mystra's power as Chosen without dying. The woman she possessed was killed in the process (reduced to no more than a husk, then slain by her now-husband, hoping to end her suffering), and the husband was horrified by the whole story.

Mystra needed Chosen in order to restore herself in the event that she was killed again, to prevent magic as a whole from collapsing and wreaking havoc on the mortal realm, like it had in the few seconds Mystryl had been dead. Elminster, Khelben Blackstaff, and the Seven Sisters contributed to this. The more Chosen she has, the better; what happens if Elminster dies? She can't afford to have all her eggs in one basket.

Mystra has Volo (yeah, that Volo) as a Weave Anchor, imparted with a portion of her power to prevent the Weave from shredding itself to pieces in her absence. All Chosen of Mystra are Weave Anchors by nature. The creation of Weave Anchors was mandated by Ao, the Overgod, and Chosen are the best way to make sure those anchors aren't drained by ambitious people hoping for godlike power. Chosen can, and will, defend themselves, unlike static locations (which Mystra also has). The anchors are why the Weave wasn't completely obliterated during Mystra's last death, when the Spellplague rose up, because they stabilized the Weave around them.

Everything Mystra does is in the name of the big picture, to prevent a catastrophe like the fall of Netheril from happening again. Her restriction of magic, her numerous Chosen, her creation of Weave Anchors, her destruction of those who would claim her power, it's all in the name of the stability she's been charged with. Dornal Silverhand's grief and Elué Silverhand's death, while regrettable, were worth it to bring seven more anchors into existence to save all of the Material.

So someone appears with the Crown of Karsus, potentially powerful enough to try to kill the other gods in the name of the Dead Three. She can't risk being a target of them. She can't risk the destruction of magic again.

Gale is going to die. He lives in fear. He begs for forgiveness.

In Mystra's eyes, she's offering him the best outcome. She'll let him die in service to her, to save Faerûn, and she'll forgive him. He's going to die anyways, and if he does this, she'll give him everything (she thinks) he could ever want in her realm. She's asking him to do what (she thinks) is the right thing.

"She would consider what she considers to be forgiveness."

Notably, she leaves the decision in his hands. She doesn't have Elminster lead him to the Nether Brain. She doesn't activate him as soon as he's there. When he lives yet, she doesn't revoke the charm that keeps him stable. And when he declines, when he lets it go and starts pursuing Karsus' path, she doesn't smite him on the spot.

She is (she thinks) being incredibly patient. If Gale is going to try to be Karsus II, she's ready for him. If he decides to walk off and keep the Orb, he's dug his own grave in the Fugue Plane (those who don't have a god to claim them roam endlessly as husks and form a wall of bodies around the City of Judgement).

From her perspective, she's not being unreasonable. But from the perspective of a mortal, she absolutely is.

"Now, I have a question for thee: what is the worth of a single mortal's life?"

This is a question she cannot answer properly.

I think a lot of characterization is lost whenever someone paints one of them as being totally in the right. But I also think you have to be invested in them as characters to want to see that characterization. If you want to write about Mystra, you have to try to get into her head, analyze the decisions she made, figure out why she thinks she was right, and follow the pattern.

Gale's sacrifice is a very predictable thing for her to ask for.

#bg3 #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #mystra #long post #like really long post holy hells #did not expect this to go on for this long #swearing tw #< for karlach #oh yeah #astarion #karlach #wyll ravengard #shadowheart #lae'zel #ask bee

300 notes · View notes

slayfics · 4 months

Text

Explosive tendencies a slow burn fanfic about the readers developing relationship with Katsuki Bakugo.

Chapter nine: The summer training starts.

Chapter links

The rest of the days leading up to the summer trip went by in a blur. Before you knew it you were back at UA waiting to board the bus to the new secret location for the summer training.

Class 1-B would also be joining the summer trip and Neito was already going at insulting Class 1-A.

"Hmpf- he sure is obsessed with us isn't he?" You said snidely to Mina standing away from the commotion.

"For reals, oh hey our bus is here, come on! Got to get a good seat right!" She said hurrying off.

Most of the class seemed to hurry on the bus, much to Tenya's dismay who made a seating order that got completely ignored. You got on much slower compared to the rest of your class lacking the enthusiasm most of them had. By the time you got on, there were few seats left to choose from.

You scanned the available seats seeing only seats in the back of the bus. You made a quick decision and walked over to Fumikage who was sitting next to Katsuki.

"Hey Tokoyami, I kind of get really bad motion sickness and it's worse at the back of the bus. Would you by any chance mind switching me." You asked.

"Oh sure, not a problem." He said giving you no trouble with switching spots to the back of the bus.

"Tch-" Katsuki exclaimed.

"What?" You said sharply as you sat next to him.

"Do you really get motion sickness or was that just an excuse to sit next to me?" He said teasingly.

"Don't be so full of yourself," you said rolling your eyes. "Mineta is back there and there's no way I'm sitting close to him. Besides, would you have switched me if I had asked you to move instead of Tokoyami?" You asked.

"Not in a million years," He replied.

"Mhm- that's what I thought," You said, crossing your arms and making your point.

"Whatever, you better not throw up on me though I'll kick your ass," He grumbled.

"I won't throw up," You replied harshly.

"Ah- so you admit it then it was a lie," He laughed teasingly.

"Stop flattering yourself," You barked at him. You pulled out your phone feeling it going off in your pocket. Checking the screen you saw a message from Mina.

I see you back there sitting next to Bakugo ;P.

You're face flushed reading the message and you quickly put your phone away and stared out the window as the bus took off.

You both rode the rest of the way in silence, and within an hour the bus stopped for what Aizawa said was a rest stop. Which turned out to be a ruse and the start of the trip. The class was instructed by the heroes The Pussycats to make it the rest of the way on foot through what they called "The Forest of Magic Beasts".

You and the rest of the class got started on the long journey through the woods.

Tags: @anon-mouse223 @unofficialmuilover @maddietries @sikuthealien @queenpiranhadon @melrs21 @poemzcheng

176 notes · View notes

musashi · 6 months

Text

it's so good to see other people making posts about the relative lack of nuance, understanding of interpretative text, and reading comprehension of the ace attorney fandom. y'all know it drives me crazy, how people more or less just project whatever they want to onto the characters and then get mad at you when you tell them it never happened in the games.

but i will say, one thing that a lot of newcomers to the aa fandom are missing, something it took me ages to find out: a TON of the people in the ace attorney fandom... just straight up have not played ace attorney. or, they played one or two games and fell off. even i myself have not played the sequel trilogy yet.

a huge chunk of the ace attorney fandom get the story SOLELY from the fandom. but they do not actually have the text anywhere in their mind. several others played the game ages ago but have not revisited it, and subsisted solely on fanworks since then.

i got into AA in the past few years, and i theorize this is why i feel such a disconnect from the fandom. furthermore, my autistic predilection to infohoard and obsessively play the cases over and over and over again means i have every minute character detail fresh in my head. whenever i find someone with similar bafflement and negative opinions on the fanon as me, it usually turns out they too are a newcomer!

i think the reason the AA fandom is so reliant on incorrect flanderization and fanon is because a huge chunk of them are all playing a game of telephone. literally, character interpretations have been passed around so much and no one is re-experiencing the games, and as a result no one remembers what is canon anymore.

i use this example a lot but it still baffles me to this day: i'm a known manfred liker, right? lots of people try and debate me on if he's a child abuser or not (i don't care as long as it's written well, but i don't think it's in the text) and one of the points they constantly bring up is that phoenix wrote letters to miles when he disappeared, and manfred burned those letters.

this did not happen.

not only did manfred have no part in anything of the sort, but phoenix literally never wrote letters to miles. the only thing phoenix says about it is that he tried contacting miles "countless times," but he does not explain how, when, over what period of time, or any such details.

to me, "manfred burned the letters" is certainly a valid interpretation of the text. but so is "miles edgeworth is a disaster human who 100% would reject any attempts from phoenix to reconnect because he believes a part of him died in that elevator too."

but as previously mentioned, the ace attorney fandom, alongside everything else, has no concept of nuance. characters are either victims or abusers with no gray area in between. miles is a victim (he is) but to reject poor sweet phoenix (also a victim) would tip the scales (haha) toward him being... a bad guy! so we introduce manfred (abuser) into this equation. there. problem solved.

but if i walk into the scene like "hey, that's a headcanon, this did not happen in the text, personally i think it's more realistic that miles rejected phoenix's attempts to reconnect because he is a traumatized adolescent making foolish decisions." 30 people are gonna point at me like SO YOU'RE SAYING YOU CONDONE ABUSE? and i will just sit there blinking, perplexed.

this happens like, three times a week.

tl;dr a massive chunk of the aa fanbase hasn't actually played aa recently or ever they just get all their info from wrightworth fanfic and incorrectquotes posts

#wordy wendy

182 notes · View notes

xoxoavenger · 1 year

Note

hi! I wanted to make an ask for charles xavier x reader but if you don't want or you can't write it, feel free to ignore. :)

basically, the reader is a friend of charles and also a mutant but never really used their powers, and the first time they used was to save him (in the cuba incident). idk more what to write, i just want to know his reaction to being saved and seeing the reveal of readers powers.

oh, and your writing is absolutely amazing!! 💕💕

thank you so much!! this is sorta short but definitely sweet also I don't have the streaming services that First Class is on so it's not completely accurate but its close

Come Through

pairing: Young!Charles Xavier x Fem!Reader

word count: 775

warnings: cannon typical violence and injuries also completely changing canon like the true fanfic writer I am

masterlist

"I told you to stay away!"

"And I told you that you don't make my decisions for me!"

"Oh, you're right, I'm so sorry for caring about your safety!"

"You treat me like-like I'm some glass ball!"

"Oh my God." Alex groans, looking up at the sky. "Not this again."

"Do they normally do this?" Moira asks, eyes flitting between the two. They continued their argument as though it was the most normal thing to do at this moment.

"Yes," Hank starts, crawling out of the wreckage. "Though never after our jet has fallen from the sky." Suddenly, the two have stopped fighting, which causes everyone to turn to them. Y/N and Charles are staring across the ocean, eyes wide in fear.

"Oh shit," Charles mutters as he stares at the missiles heading in their direction. Y/N grabs Charles' hand, and he squeezes it back tightly. Was this it? Was this the end? Suddenly, they all stop in their tracks. Everyone stares as Erik put his hand up, venom pulsing in his eyes.

"Erik," Y/N whispers as she sees them all turn in sync. She knows what he's planning, knows that if he does this there's no coming back from it. Mutants will be murdered on sight; there would be a war.

"You don't have to do this, Erik," Charles' hand slips out of Y/N's as she turns to watch him walk toward Erik. Her heart is racing with anxiety and adrenaline.

"Yes. I. Do." As he says it Moira starts firing, every bullet taking more of Erik's focus to deflect, causing a few missiles to fall into the water. Y/N's heart starts to race as time seems to slow for her, head spinning as she realizes something very, very bad is about to happen.

It flashes before her eyes, the image of Charles being shot, him falling to the ground unmoving. She's barely out of it before she's tackling Charles to the ground, feeling the bullet skim her side but miss Charles completely as they hit the sand. She can't even begin to comprehend what she just did.

The missiles fall as she screams, Erik's attention completely diverting to her. She lets out a wince of pain as Charles immediately flipped over, holding Y/N in his lap and moving his hand to find her wound. It doesn't take long, her letting out a scream as he brushes over it.

"What have you done?" He yells at Erik, who stared wide eyed at the blood beginning to stain her blue suit. He feels sick at the sight.

"I'm fine," She muttered, a small smile on her face despite the searing ache running across her left side.

"This is your fault!" Erik yells as he begins to stalk toward Moira, who had dropped the gun and was covering her mouth.

"No! I didn't mean to," Moira is reeling, guilt clawing at her even though she hadn't been aiming at Y/N.

"Don't even think about it," Hank stops him, raising his eyebrows in threat.

"How did you know?" Charles asks, and before Y/N can even think about lying his eyes are widening. "Your powers." He mutters, smile on his face only because Y/N was beginning to get up, meaning she wasn't as hurt as he feared. The two were completely oblivious of the others around them.

"I don't know how to control it." She groans as he helps her up, the pair not quite sure how they're going to get off this island. It seems Erik and his friends - including Raven, Charles notes with a lurch of his heart - have teleported off the island.

"I can help." He tells her, letting her thread her fingers with his. Her arm was around his neck, his around her waist. "I could have helped."

"It came through when I needed it to." She looks up at him, and he pauses as his eyes flicked to her lips. He was about to lean in as he watched her close her eyes, head tilted up, but then she was flinching away. Charles felt the hurt of rejection run through his body before she let out a hiss of pain and he looked down.

"Sorry, I'm sorry." Hank was kneeling at her side, putting a piece of fabric over her wound. "To stop the bleeding." He looked up at the two, took in Charles' face, and he opened his mouth in shock.

"Thank you, Hank." Y/N muttered, feeling her face heat up.

"I'm so sorry." He got up and moved away quickly, and Charles chuckled slightly, only feeling a bit awkward.

"Where were we?" Y/N said, her forwardness surprising Charles. He stared at her, only hesitating one second before putting his lips on hers.

#young charles xavier x reader #charles xavier x reader #young charles xavier #x men #professor x #professor x x reader #x men x reader #x-men x reader #x-men

430 notes · View notes

lowkeyremi · 8 months

Note

mayaaaaa !! so your aot fluff just sent my soul back to my levi fanfic phase 😭😭 can you please please write more of levi with his younger lover ??? i need to know all about it !!! how do they cuddle? how did they get together? what’s he like in public with them????

love you lots <33

OFC!! This is such a cute concept i'm excited to write this >:3 AND ILY TOO <333

It's not required but if you haven't read the first part you might wanna do that :)

CW: None, just fluff

First encounter:

The two of you met when he was on a business trip. You and your friends were shopping for new clothes and he was at the store for a new tie, because according to his boss, "you wear that same tie all the time, Ackerman. This meeting is really important so try to look nice."

When you saw him it was game over. Funny thing is you didn't even try to hide it either, your eyes widened, your jaw was on the floor, and everything.

"That guy is so hot! You should talk to him." Your friend squeals.

"No way in hell, he's probably married! That'd be so weird." You argue in return. Your friend didn't give up though.

"Excuse me, sir! If you're looking for a tie my friend can help you look for one! She used to work in retail." Her voice is sweet when talking to him. If that super hot guy hadn't been right there you would have smacked her.

He didn't say anything at first, he looked you up and down. "He's checking you out!" She whisper-yelled. You elbowed her in the rib.

"I have a suit that looks like- you know what let me just look for a picture." He says, and what the hell... his voice is like silk.

You walk over to him. "Here it is." The suit is a dark gray, with a white undershirt. Your eyes scan his phone, it's an older outdated model and you can't help but giggle.

"Is gray a bad color for me?" He asks, with sarcasm.

"No no! It's just.. what model is your phone? It looks old." His brows furrow as he inspects his phone.

"I don't know, I got it a long time ago." He says with a shrug, "It works just fine."

"Sorry sorry. What kind of tie do you have right now? If you have one." You say trying to be inclusive.

"The one I usually wear is black but this is a special occasion so I need something else." You hum lightly while looking around.

"Okay, I'm thinking blue. Specifically dark blue." He nods and you two look around for a dark blue tie without patterns because he's basic.

Out of the corner of your eye your friends are making smooching faces and other romantic gestures. You're going to end them later.

"I found one thanks for the help." He says.

"Of course!" Fuck, too happy?

He stares at you for a moment, and you stare back before looking away. You take a step back and clear your throat.

"C-can.. I get your number?" Your foot is tapping and you're looking everywhere except for at him.

"Yeah, sorry if my calls don't go through because of my crappy phone." He says with a small.. smile?

You stare for a second in silence.

"That was my attempt at making a joke, it was bad." He says with a sigh.

"Yeah... we're gonna need to work on that. What's your name Mr. Gloomy?" You hand over your phone, you have the dial screen open so he can put in his number.

"Levi Ackerman." That small smile returns.

"I'll see you around, Levi."

In public:

Turns out you were actually the one who wasn't big on telling people about you at first. Levi is proud of everything he does. In all honesty you were slightly embarrassed by having an older boyfriend.

"What if people think you're my sugar daddy or something?" You reason.

"I'm not that old." He rolls his eyes.

"Why does it matter what other people think of our relationship anyway? They're not dating you, I am." He explains. He makes it sound like common sense, which it is, but you still think it's a little awkward.

"I mean it doesn't matter too much but-"

"I respect your decision. I'm not huge on PDA but I'd at least like people close to me to know." He explains rubbing his hand up and down your thigh. You grab his hand (which happens to be very veiny and pretty) and kiss it.

"Thanks, Levi."

-----

When you did tell everyone... you were all over him. Levi was never big on PDA but he didn't mind giving you a little kiss or holding your hand.

The only time he's really touching you in public is one someone's hitting on you. Levi gets scared that you'll find someone younger than him.

-----

"Did you want to go out sometime?" Your new co-worker asks you. He doesn't know you have a boyfriend but you've been rejecting him all week.

You check your phone to see that Levi's just arrived. Your shift ended early today and he promised to come get you and take you out.

"Um no than-"

"Are you ready to go, baby?" Levi's voice is confident and smug. The guy looks over to Levi and then to you. His face flushes and he starts to stammer.

"U-uh sorry. I... I didn't know." Levi exhales as the guy walks away in a hurry.

"You should call me that more often." You chime in with a cheeky smirk.

"I do." He offers you his hand. When you take it, he leads the way to his black cadillac.

"I mean yeah! But not outside of the house."

"I'm working on it... baby."

Meeting the parents:

To your surprise they were very accepting of Levi.

"They've always been very childish. I'm so glad they found someone to keep them in shape." Your mother was embarrassing as always.

"Take care of them." Your father had said.

Levi nodded and they stood there awkwardly.

"Um dad! Levi works for a law firm! Isn't that something? You've always wanted me to get into law school, remember?" Your attempt to change the subject worked.

"I did, but you never wanted to. Always said "Dad! I don't wanna sit at a desk all day!" What law firm do you work for Levi?" It must be a parent's job to embarrass their child.

"Oh I work for..."

That convo went on forever.

-------

"Hello, Mrs. and Mr. Ackerman." Levi nodded, which motivated you to place down the bouquet of Mrs. Ackerman's favorite flowers on her gravestone.

"You guys seemed like great people from what Levi told me. I'm taking care of him, he's not a lonely loser anymore." Tears are welling up but nothing comes out, you smile softly.

"I was never a loser." His eye roll doesn't go unnoticed by you.

"If that's what makes you feel better, then okay. Anyway, I wish I could have had the chance to meet you guys. Mrs. Ackerman I can see why your husband married you. You were fine as hell. That must be where Levi gets it from." You rant with a little giggle.

"I look more like my father." He reminds you.

"Yeah yeah, this isn't about you. I'm trying to meet your parents." You wave him away and continue to talk to the Ackermans.

"I think they would have liked you, a little weirded out by you at first but in the end they would have loved you like you were their own." Two arms wrap around you and then those tears fall. Out of all your relationships none have ever made you feel this loved and wanted.

Chilling:

"Boop!" Levi almost bites your finger this time.

"Stop "booping" me. It's annoying." He's facing you while in bed, those dark, onyx eyes look into yours. God he's so beautiful.

"I'm bored, let's get up." That's probably the tenth time you've said that to him.

"We agreed on fifteen more minutes of cuddling." Levi is a cuddler. In previous relationships you've complained about not being cuddled enough.

Levi is all about physical affection inside of the household. You love it, but at times like right now, you just crave to move around.

He's peppering your face with kisses, your eyelids, your nose, your cheeks, everywhere. The cherry on top is that he smiles when he hears you chuckle at his actions.

"Okay now we can get up, since you're so impatient." Those snuggly arms let go of your body so you can go get ready for the day.

"I love you Levi!" He hesitates upon hearing you say that before responding, "I love you too."

In conclusion Levi is literally like a dad who has to keep one of those little kid backpack leash things on his kid (you) lol he loves you tho <3

#aot #attack on titan #levi attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi fluff #levi x reader #levi aot #levi ackerman #aot levi #levi x you #ackerman

157 notes · View notes

vettelsvee · 2 months

Text

INFINITY, a Sebastian Vettel fanfiction. 00. LOVE YOU GOODBYE

INFINITY MASTERLIST HERE!

warnings: seb and diana being MY favourite fanfic couple i've ever written, bad language, english not being my first language, break up. also, i wanna make a taglist so if you wanna be included just tell me in the comments so you won't miss future parts!

I dragged myself away from the cistern and composed myself, taking care not to get dizzy. I grabbed a piece of paper and wiped the corners of my lips to remove any possible remnants of vomit.

I headed to the bathroom almost automatically, and it didn't take me long to grab the toothbrush that I had gotten used to carrying since nausea had become part of my daily life. I tried to get rid of the acidity that had formed in my throat and the bad taste in my mouth, but as I already expected, and knowing that I had experienced it more times than I would have liked in the last month and a half, it was impossible for me.

"Diana, are you still there? Are you okay?" Britta's voice, accompanied by a few knocks on the door, snapped me out of my trance. I jumped, and I forced myself to respond even though it was the last thing I wanted:

"Yes, I'm coming!"

"Don't take too long," the woman replied. "Not because I don't want you to, but because Seb is worried about you."

Panic-stricken, I stifled the laughter that almost escaped me.

If only he knew what I was about to do...

"Don't worry, I'll be out soon," I replied.

I stared at myself in the mirror, contemplating my own reflection for longer than I would have liked. Minutes passed, and I lost track of them almost completely because I was aware that I had to put an end once and for all to that intrusive thought telling me that what I was about to do was wrong but inevitably the best.

I was going to break everything I had wanted since I was a child simply because things hadn't gone "well." Seb was at the peak of his professional career, continually surpassing himself in every race, making history while I, on the other hand, was still stuck in our hometown working in a dive bar, enduring drunks and brats who wanted to play at being adults because I hadn't been lucky, or maybe financially able, to study what I had yearned for since childhood.

I leaned on the sink, feeling the cold begin to penetrate my body. I felt a great tremor coursing through me, and it became increasingly difficult to stand. Tears filled my eyes as I faced the reality of what I was about to do, of the decision I had made.

If since my boyfriend began not only achieving his dreams but also making a name for himself in them, and thought I didn't deserve him because I was going in the opposite direction, now that I had become pregnant by him after the birth control pills I was taking had probably failed in who knows what way, I thought it even more.

Despite the love I still felt, and would probably always feel for Sebastian, since I took the pregnancy test with Hanna in one of the most remote shopping centers in Heppenheim, I knew that letting him know he was going to be a father was not part of my plans.

"Come on, Diana..." I said to myself, still looking at my reflection. "This is for Seb. This is for him and for his career."

I took a few deep breaths, feeling as if the lump in my throat was choking me. I looked at that blonde, German girl, full of insecurities once again. Her eyes reflected doubts and, above all, fear, and unfortunately, I sensed that it would continue to be so from today on, for life.

Controlling the tremor in my left hand, I slowly opened the bathroom door, as if I wanted to torture myself. Britta was sitting in one of the chairs, reviewing something in a notebook until I closed the door a little harder than I intended.

"Are you really okay?" she asked again, giving me an uncertain look. "I've been hearing you vomit for several weeks now. Don't you think you should see a doctor?"

The knot in my throat seemed to tighten a little more. See a doctor... Of course, I had seen a doctor! Four weeks and, today, four days of gestation was the answer, but nobody, beyond my parents and my best friend, could know.

"Yes, I'm fine," I replied quickly, trying to pretend as best as I could. "Don't worry. It's probably just a little stress," I added, praying that she believed me. "I haven't had time to go to the doctor, but I assure you, for heaven's sake, everything is fine."

And that's exactly why you're going to leave the love of your life today.

Roeske seemed to hesitate for a moment. Her lips remained slightly parted for a moment, as if she wanted to say something to me; not to mention her gaze: it gave me the feeling that she was far from convinced of what I was telling her.

"Whatever you say, Diana," she finally said, getting up from her seat. "But seriously, if you need to talk or anything else, I'm here for you."

"I know."

"Well, seeing that you're as smooth as silk, we'd better hurry," my still-boyfriend's public relations said to me again. "The final practice session is about to start, and Seb is probably worried about why we haven't returned yet."

I prepared to leave the room with her. I was more than determined to accompany her, but it was when we were almost out the door that I realized it was now or never.

I came to a sudden halt before we started descending from the driver's room to the garage, watching as the blonde hurried down the stairs, possibly knowing that we were running too late even though there were still about forty-five minutes left before the session began.

"Wait, Britta. Just a moment!"

I was convinced that my shout from the top of the stairs had been heard by more people than I would have liked. I prayed to become invisible as I saw some glances directed at me, including Roeske's, which made it difficult for me to articulate a word; not to mention the whirlwind of emotions I felt inside.

I had to calm down and act a little better, or else everything I had been pondering for longer than I would have liked would go down the drain.

"I'd like to talk to Seb... alone," I finally said.

"Diana Wagner," she said my name, now much more serious. "I know you've told me everything's fine, but... are you sure it really is? Is there really nothing wrong with you?"

No, everything is wrong, and yes, there's more going on than I'd like.

I knew I could trust Britta completely. I was sure that if I revealed the news to her before Vettel, she wouldn't say anything, at least not for the time being. I wanted to tell her; in fact, I would love to tell her because the woman was a second mother to me, but I knew I couldn't because, as soon as I left, there was the remote possibility that she would end up telling the blonde everything in a moment of weakness.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm great. It's nothing serious, don't worry," I replied with a sigh, trying not only to reassure the PR but also myself. "I just need to talk to him about... well, an unimportant matter."

"Of course. Go get him, I'll wait here. He's probably talking to Rocky or Horner about who knows what. He won't have gone far, especially considering how clear he made it that he was really looking forward to seeing you."

"Can you go get him?" I blurted out as if it were nothing.

I ignored what she had just said because now the nerves were gnawing at me. Britta also seemed to notice my anxiety, so I was grateful that she ignored it and acted as if nothing had happened.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw her nod, and I couldn't help but thank her for what she had just done for me.

"Lie down on the physio's table and try to rest a bit, you look a bit pale," she urged me. Reluctantly, and after being told a couple more times, I ended up obeying. "Seb won't be long in coming. You know that when it comes to you, he's capable of dropping anything."

And it was true. Once the woman left, I remained lying down, tracing small drawings with my index finger on my stomach and, as I whispered to what would supposedly be my child, a whirlwind of varied thoughts flooded my mind.

A small pressure settled in my chest when I became aware that the idea of breaking up with Sebastian was getting closer to becoming a reality. I didn't want to face it, and I largely refused to, but I knew that, for the sake of both of us, and especially his, it was the best.

Hiding the truth from the boy I had been loving for longer than I would like to admit was precisely the opposite of what I should do, but precisely because he was the most important person in my life, and I knew him almost as well as I knew myself, I knew that there would be time to play mom and dad in real life.

The only thing I should focus on this year was winning his fourth Formula 1 world championship, not learning how to change diapers or feed a baby.

My thoughts vanished when the door burst open, making me jump. Seb appeared with his suit hanging from his waist, his hair completely disheveled, and a face that revealed a concern appropriate to the situation I had not yet presented to him.

"Sunshine! Britta told me you're not feeling well. What happened? Do you want us to go to the doctor? I don't care about missing the practice sessions: you're the most important thing."

The German quickly took hold of my cheeks. I hadn't even sat up yet, and he was already trying to warm up my face with the palms of his hands, moving them from side to side and examining me as if he were a doctor and had the solution to my problems.

"I'm fine, love, calm down," I replied, freeing myself from his grip.

"I know you much more than I would like, Di. You're pale," he pointed out, "and you rarely get pale. The last time I saw you like this was when the police chased us after they caught you doing a not-so-legal concert in the school square."

My anxiety increased at his perception. I couldn't hide the lie I had concocted with Hanna for much longer.

"Seb, really, I'm fine," I insisted, swallowing hard as I tried to find the right words.

Seb didn't seem to agree, once again, with my response, and he didn't seem to want to let it go so easily.

For a moment, I was tempted to reveal the truth to him, especially when I noticed his eyes fixed on me, with no intention of looking away until I managed to say what I really wanted to tell him... As if he wanted to know that I was going to have a baby next January, if my gynecologist's calculations and the latest technology were not mistaken.

I gathered enough courage to look him in the eyes. His concern overwhelmed me completely; when he made the gesture to hug me, and I leaned into his arms, I knew I couldn't keep avoiding the truth.

"Seb..." I began to articulate, slowly separating myself from him, "the truth is that something is wrong."

The boy clenched his jaw and became completely serious.

"Tell me, Di. Whatever it is, you know you can tell me."

"I know, love. I want to tell you everything, but..." I started off relaxed, only to have my voice break at the end. "This is different, and it's going to be a bit difficult for me."

"What do you mean by different and difficult for you? Diana, what's going on?"

My hands fidgeted nervously as I tried to find the most appropriate way to hurt him as little as possible. I noticed that the German's nervous and worried tone had dissipated, and now anger seemed to be consuming him.

"I want to tell you, but I don't know how to do it without hurting you," I admitted in a whisper.

There it was, I had dropped it.

I didn't know what else to say, so I decided to wait for a reply from Sebastian. Anguish had taken hold of him, and I knew he was awaiting my words as much as I was waiting for his. His behavior wasn't helping me; on the contrary, the feeling of guilt had taken hold of me, as I had already anticipated, but there was no turning back now.

It was impossible for me to even think coherently enough to say something sensible.

I watched as now my boyfriend's gaze turned into pure pain, into a pleading search for answers that I didn't dare to give him.

"Seb..." I spoke again, struggling to maintain composure and simultaneously seeking his hand. "I need you to listen to me, please."

"I just want you to tell me the truth, Diana," he called me by my full name. That was the indicator that things were not going well, and they wouldn't be back to normal. "Whatever it is, I can deal with it."

"I don't want us to be together anymore," I declared. "I'm not in love with you anymore. I haven't been, for about a month or so."

The silence that filled the room after my false confession was too uncomfortable. Tears filled the boy's eyes; mine did too, but for a different reason than his.

He thought I had stopped loving him when the truth was that every day, especially now, I loved him more than ever.

"Why are you telling me this? Why, Diana?" he wanted to know. "I thought we were doing great... I really thought we were better than ever."

"I don't know, Seb," I murmured through sobs, trying to hide my face so he wouldn't see how truly affected I was. "There are... there are couples that stop loving each other, and that's what I think has happened with us."

"What can I do to make you fall in love with me again? I can't lose you. I can't lose the sunshine of my life, not when we promised each other a life together."

"You can't do anything, Seb, and I truly am sorry," I falsely admitted with sadness, trying not to succumb to his desperate plea. "Sometimes, things just stop being as they were in the beginning, and, well... what we had is no longer what it used to be."

"Of course, it's not the same as before! Everything was getting better until you decided to drop this bomb on me, Diana!" Sebastian yelled. "I was even going to ask you to..."

"And that's exactly why I feel it's best for us to move on, but each on our own path!" I interrupted with another shout.

It's not real, Diana. Everything you're saying is a lie.

I breathed in and out more times than I would have liked, but it was necessary. This charade to try to make Seb's life a little better was not only costing me the end of our relationship but also my mental health in the long run.

"Is there someone else, Diana?"

Vettel's voice oozed with anger. He was consumed by rage at the possibility of an answer he didn't want to hear. His fists, clenched tightly, causing his knuckles to turn white, were proof of this.

"No, not exactly."

And, once again, the veiled truth.

"What are you saying?" he snapped, getting closer and closer to me, consumed by anguish.

"I mean not exactly, but... yes. There is someone else, Seb," I admitted.

Shouts, full of reproaches, insults, and curses, filled the room. I tried to tune them out. I thought all of this was part of an act, and I tried to convince myself that, in the future, everything would be fine, when I knew it would be quite the opposite.

"How could you do this to me, Diana?! How could you deceive me after almost seven fucking years together?!" Sebastian yelled, unleashing his aggression on a vase that was on his desk, and throwing it to the ground, causing the water and flowers he had given me just a day ago to scatter. "We've lived through millions of experiences. We've grown and achieved our dreams, together, and now you leave me for some guy you've slept with on a whim?!"

"Do you think this is easy for me, Sebastian?" I retorted, my words being true for once. "Stop lying, okay? The only person who has fulfilled their dreams here is you," I told him, showing my disagreement on a topic I knew hurt me so much, and of which I was aware he mentioned to hurt me. "While you've been living your life as a driver and being the focus of attention for everyone, I've been working in the same lousy bar full of lecherous old men since I left high school," I yelled, furious. I knew this kind of stress wasn't good for the baby, but at this moment, I didn't care. "I've been saving as much as I could to build myself a prosperous future even though my salary was a pittance, composing songs and singing them hoping they'll reach someone someday, and won't be forgotten."

"I've told you millions of times that you don't need to work in that hellhole to have a good life," he protested, now much calmer. "With my salary, we can both live comfortably more than enough."

"I know," I replied calmly, although I was on the verge of a panic attack, "but I also know that I can achieve things on my own without anyone's help."

The blond laughed sarcastically. Immediately, he crossed his arms, lifted his head, and looked at me:

"You've always been too stubborn, Diana. I can see the future expectations you have. Ultimately, I understand everything: if you never managed to get into the Berlin art academy on your own, and you're still working at the same place after all this time..."

I stood there, motionless, not knowing what to say or do because I knew exactly what he meant with every word that came out of his mouth. I felt as if my feet were glued to the ground with cement; his words hitting me continuously, wanting to hurt me more and more.

"How dare you say that to me?"

If I was already touched and almost broken after all this conversation, now I was completely shattered. Seeing my reaction, tears streaming down my cheeks incessantly, the guy seemed to regret it.

Quickly, he approached me, opening his arms with the intention of burying me in them. I, as stubborn as he said I was, refused not only the hug but any kind of physical, and not so physical, contact he wanted to have with me.

"Di, I'm sorry... I didn't mean that," yes, that was clear, but it was already said and done. I made a mistake. Please, forgive me."

No matter how much he kept talking, trying to apologize and rectify the mistake, there was nothing more to be done.

Without saying anything else, I began to gather all my belongings from the driver's room of what could now be considered my ex-boyfriend's. I didn't want to; I didn't want to start the no-contact stage with the guy I had been in love with since I was ten, the one who had loved me like no one else ever had, and like no one else ever would.

I was saying goodbye to the father of my daughter to venture into raising her alone so that he could pursue his dream in peace, and achieve all those successes he so desired.

"What are you doing, Diana?"

"Packing. I'm leaving."

My eyes were fixed on the ground, my hands feeling the few belongings I had left to put in the small backpack I used to carry to the paddock. Now, I would have to go back to our hotel room and pack everything, put it in the suitcase as quickly as possible, and rush to the airport and pray not to miss the plane.

"What do you mean you're leaving?" he frowned, incredulous. "It's Friday, Diana, we have the whole weekend together."

"Well, from now on you'll have all the weekends ahead alone," I shook my head, unable to bear any more of his comments trying to make me stay. “From now on, you won't have me here anymore on weekends, or in your life either. I'm leaving your life, and I'm not coming back."

I repeated, emphasizing the last negation.

Vettel was speechless at my declaration. He shook his head constantly; he approached me, trying to take my belongings, but I prevented him.

As much as he wanted it, no: I wasn't going to stay.

"What do you mean by 'leaving my life and not coming back'?"

"It means I'm going back to Heppenheim, Sebastian," I turned to him, trying to maintain composure. “I'm going back, you'll end up coming back too even if we live... you live in Switzerland," I corrected myself immediately, "but I hope we never see each other again."

The firmness behind my words frightened me quite a bit. Everything was turning into a lie that, as the conversation progressed, had escalated, to the point where I doubted what was real and what was just the opposite.

"I really hope you achieve everything you set out to do," I continued, insisting to myself not to break down right there. "I hope you win the championship this year and get the four consecutive ones, as you've been wishing for so long. You, more than anyone, deserve them, and I know you're capable of that and much more."

I didn't say anything else because I had stopped being strong. I left, without looking back, the room where I had spent much more time than imaginable, and one of the many places that made up the story starring Sebastian Vettel and me.

I carefully descended the stairs. I walked with a false sense of security through the RedBull garage, dodging any questions about why I was crying, where I was going, and if I had argued with the team's golden boy, including the thousands of questions Britta Roeske kept asking me and that I was trying to ignore at all costs.

I felt curious eyes following me wherever I went, but I didn't care in the slightest. It was all done.

Now, we only had each other, the little pea, or whatever the size of the baby, and me.

"Di, wait!"

Sebastian's desperate shouts echoed behind me, getting closer and closer.

I stopped abruptly, clutching the only handle of the backpack hanging over my shoulder. I turned slowly towards the place where the voices seemed to be coming from and saw the driver running, almost breathless, as he wiped tears from his cheeks and even the ones still falling from his eyes.

"I love you, Di."

His voice was broken, and his hands acted on their own. Yet, that didn't stop him from taking my face in his hands and uniting us in a kiss that unleashed a whirlwind of emotions, where we tasted each other's tears as we had done so many times in our relationship. Where we exchanged millions of "I love yous" in a silence that only he and I knew perfectly.

"Please, don't go, Di," the German expressed.

"Seb, I love you too, but there's someone else."

At last, I had confessed... not in the most suitable way, but it was the right thing to do, especially considering what my goal was after this trail of lies.

"There's a new person in my life, and I'm afraid to tell you that, as much as I love you, I love her more than I love you, and I always will," I continued, knowing that each and every word I was saying about my baby, our baby, was true. "I love you, Sebastian Vettel, and I will never stop loving you, but that person, right now, is my main priority."

"Have you been cheated on me?"

Sometimes, silence was worth more than a thousand words. Just in this case, it was quite the opposite.

I stood still for a few seconds in front of him, internally debating whether to answer or leave as calmly as possible, without attracting any more attention than I already had. I chose the latter because neither my voice could come out nor could tears allow me to see clearly; not to mention my judgment, which had clouded to the point where I couldn't think clearly about what the next step should be to end this nightmare.

I ended up giving Seb one last look, whispering that I loved him and always would, even though it was over between us.

It only took me bowing my head, turning around, and continuing my path, fighting not to look back, to realize that I had made the biggest mistake of my life, and that I would never, for anything in the world, be able to forgive myself.

And I knew perfectly well that Seb wouldn't either.

next part: 01. LOVING HIM WAS RED (click here and you'll read it!)

66 notes · View notes

somnambulic-thing · 6 months

Text

I want to talk about something in regards to Flight of Icarus.

disclaimer: I fully read the book, slept two nights over it and enjoyed it a lot. There is a possibility of finding content on my blog from now on that contains lore from the story. My Eddie characterisations won't change much in their essence though since I pretty much head cannoned him like he's pictured in the book the whole time.

Okay. Let's go. No detailed spoilers ahead. Feeling jealous in the light of the romantic arch in the book or the mentiones of Eddie's experiences with intimacy is okay.

It's not a great experience I bet, but you're not being a bad or silly person simply for feeling that way. Many of us have built a deep emotional connection to this fictional character for all kinds of reasons. While I personally don't think that the fact that the book is coming from the creators of ST makes a difference to canon, I do understand that for some people the book has a different weight than fanfic. And that is ok too.

So right now, many people can't help but feel heartache or jealousy over the story. Emotions are not rational. And I am deeply sorry that some of you feel bad about something that used to be your escape and save space. That sucks.

However, we all have control over how we act upon those feelings. And being hateful or mean towards others (including the author) ain't it. No exceptions. I don't care for your personal reasons why you feel that way, I'm not your therapist, that is your business to deal with, but lashing out about your personal, very subjective feelings is just not the way to deal with them.

Slipping up can happen to everybody, and that is human, but there is a line when a slip-up stops being that. And accept the fact that nobody owes you to listen to your opinion. Accept that people might find your opinion a reason to stop interacting with you, even if you voice it in a civil way.

Find a friend who gets it and let out all of those feelings in a closed safe-space with curse words and shit. Get it out, cleanse yourself from that pressure. That's cool. Writing a fix-it fic that will get your emotions out? Ask an author who is comfortable with that to write something like that? Cool. Journal. Skip rocks. Work out. Angry clean your house. Throw darts at a copy of the book. Get creative without getting other real people into the crossfire. And then, maybe step away for a few days to let the dust settle and then come back and see how it feels. Oftentimes it's just like poking at a wasp's nest to keep leaning into those feelings and the pain and get all heated up again and again.

Give yourself some time. Be kind to yourself. But also be kind to others!!!

I believe with my whole being that kindness is the best fucking thing we as a fandom can practice right now. And nuance. Always nuance.

That book isn't a bad thing just because it makes you feel uncomfortable or because it didn't fulfil your wishes or expectations. You have the right to have your opinion but opinions do not exist in a vacuum.

Opinions can be hurtful and harmful.

They are not neutral - that's the whole point - so giving it a few moments of thought on how and where to voice them is imperative. Or if it's even necessary to voice them at all. It's ok to fuck up but own that and say sorry. Be kind.

Criticism of the book is valid, not liking the thing is valid, it's not about that. (Fucking hell I love discourse and meta and analysis.) It's about being mindful and responsible for what energy you put out into the world and how you treat real human beings. When in doubt, step back, give it time to cool. Making posts in the heat of anger is rarely a good decision.

We're all here to have a good time. Why do we keep tearing each other down about something we all claim to love?

It's not worth it.

#flight of icarus #somna talks

94 notes · View notes

miscellaneoussmp · 2 months

Text

Holy shit, a proper fanfic? It's more likely than you think. I'm normal about hgduo, I'm so normal about hgduo and that's why I wrote this. Anyways, here's Cellbit throughout the years (cw/tw: blood/violence/death mentioned/referenced throughout, general Cellbit fuckery, highly repetitive narration):

Cellbit is just thirteen. Well, in actuality, he doesn't know his name, and his age is just as obscure when he meets Badboyhalo. The demon teaches him all sorts of things like how to not waste food, words to use instead of swears, and a fun game. 'Fetch' Bad calls it. Cellbit thinks the demon is lying to him sometimes. He laughs every time Bad yells at him for swearing, but he tries not to most of the time. It's not his fault that he didn't see that arrow, or maybe it is? Bad teaches him to be aware of his surroundings.

Cellbit is sixteen, well in actuality he still doesn't know his name instead Bad calls him a flurry of assorted nicknames ('Little one' the demon seems to settle on when he thinks Cellbit is sleeping. In reality, he doesn't sleep). He doesn't know how long it's been when he loses sight of Bad. He thinks he must be feeling empty. Alone, maybe? He doesn't know. He walks off the battlefield with an iron knife in hand and the taste of iron in his mouth.

Cellbit is just nineteen. Well, in actuality, people call him Cell, and he finally knows how old he is as the courts seemed hellbend on proving his age when he sits across from a psychologist. They seem nervous, maybe it's the mutliple armed guards? Who knows, certainly not him. They ask him a very simple question: Why? Cell answers truthfully for once, "A demon told me not to waste food, so I don't." He shrugs like it's the most mundane thing in the world, and to him, it is.

Cellbit is twenty-six when the cargo ship he snuck on runs aground. He tries his best to ignore the looks from nervous brown eyes and pissed off green eyes. He introduces himself with his full name in front of the people who live on this island. One of those people is Bad. It feels nice to know that his oldest friend now knows his name. Cellbit meets his son for the first time, and he thinks the world of the little one.

Cellbit is twenty-six when he thinks he's fallen in love. Cellbit is twenty-six when he makes the worst decision in his entire life. Cellbit is twenty-six when he wakes up with a white streak in his hair. Cellbit is twenty-six when he gets engaged. Cellbit is twenty-six when he gets married.

Cellbit is twenty-six when his son goes missing along with the rest of the children on the island. Cellbit is twenty-six when he pushes himself headfirst into looking for any clue possible. Cellbit is twenty-six when he meets his sister. Bagi is twenty-six when she finds her brother. Why did she get to be happy? Why did she not find him sooner? She wasn't. She tried, and she was so close. Cellbit is twenty-six when he gives up his knife to Bad. He'll get better use out of it. Cellbit is twenty-six when he picks up a different blade. His mouth is filled with the taste of iron again. He wants his son back. He wants the children back. Rage consumes his very soul. Bagi is twenty-six when she realizes her brother is the murderer. 'Is he proud?' The question goes unanswered. Cellbit is twenty-six when he feels thirteen again. "Do you like it?" He asks, his voice far too soft. "You've gone soft." He hisses to his oldest friend. Cellbit is twenty-six when he confesses murder to his husband.

Cellbit is twenty-six when he enters hell for the second time in his life. Under the red sky feels like home. He feels alive. This time, Bad is his enemy. Cellbit is twenty-six when his son dies. Cellbit is twenty-six when he takes a final ten seconds to say goodbye. Cellbit is twenty-six when he hunts people down for fun with Baghera. Cellbit is twenty-six when he's sure the demon is lying to him. He feels empty again. Cellbit is still only twenty-six when he and Baghera are rescued by their children. A fresh start. Cellbit still feels empty.

Cellbit turns twenty-seven, and he celebrates. He celebrates with his son, his niece, and his oldest friend. They celebrate with fighting mobs.

Cellbit is just twenty-seven when his oldest friend, Bad, forgets his name. Cellbit is just twenty-seven when his mentor, Bad, forgets to write a letter. Cellbit is just twenty-seven when the question he asked long ago is answered. 'I'm proud of you, you know that, right?' Cellbit doesn't even know. Cellbit has just turned twenty-seven when the person who knows him the best, Bad, dies. Cellbit doesn't even know.

#qsmp #qsmp fanfiction (sorta)#qsmp drabble #qsmp writing #qsmp cellbit #qsmp badboyhalo #qsmp hgduo #qsmp mocking jays #i just i could be normal for five seconds #i hope yall enjoy!!! it's been a while since i posted a proper fic

53 notes · View notes

thoughtfullyrainynightmare · 1 year

Note

hello dear! i really like your works and i really love reading your writing but i'm shy to make requests but after reading comfort works i finally got the courage to ask for something....

so can i order the S4 from the prompt list? with fuegoleon, nozel and yami

SSHSHHSJJ I can't hahaha ho God I'm embarrassed sorry it's just my first time asking and English is not my native language...well I guess that's how it is _ ho Aaaaaa say hi to your fans here in Brazil :)

✨️💙✨️💛✨️💚✨️

Hello love~! ^^

I'm super, super happy to hear that you like my works!! And I'm delighted that you found the courage to make a request! ^^ No need to apologize though, English isn't my native language either, so I get it. It can definitely be nerve-wrecking, but you'll learn by using the language. Also: HIYA~!! ^^

Oh some hurt-comfort my beloved~

I have written this for Yami in the past and you can find it from here, so I shall include Fue and Nozel under the cut ^^

Prompt: Them thinking their s/o died in battle, but in fact didn't Genre: Hurt-comfort Pairings: Fuegoleon x gn!reder, Nozel x gn!reader Fanfic type: Oneshots Warnings: angst in the beginning, fear of s/o having died, mentions of injuries, the men being worried, sad and relieved, but there's comfort in the end Total length: ~1.7k

Fuegoleon

Fuegoleon Vermillion. He was the first born son of the House Vermillion; coming from a line of capable combat mages, and as such, he was praised for it. He was celebrated for it. And it was the stead that he knew for himself. A life where he had accepted that he might lose his life in battle, because that was a fact. Many combat mages fell in the line of duty. But he had simply supposed that it was the life he lived with the role he held.

A wrong decision could mean the difference between life and death. It was self-evident to him. And it was something of which he reminded his knights regularly. Because it was a rule of the life they lived.

And yet… he had never applied that rule to you. Because surely you wouldn’t. You were smart enough, capable enough… lucky enough to avoid it. Since sometimes you needed a little bit of luck to come unscathed from a battle.

Yes… in his subconscious mind he had simply accepted that no harm would befall on you, not if he did his job as a captain well.

Nothing bad would happen to you.

Surely.

So… on that one, faithful day, when one of his knights ran to him, bringing word from a mission, he thought it to be a poor joke at first. The first few seconds that ticked in the air.

‘Lifeless’, had been the word used.

Life… less…

Less of… life… But there was still the word ‘life’ in it… So… So…

Incomprehensible. The word seemed… incomprehensible to him. Though he knew the definition of it, but it just… didn’t… make sense.

He was sure his mana flared up. It must have.

Because the windows shattered.

His office was… yes, there was glass everywhere.

But he was already out of the door.

The headquarters.

He didn’t think he had ever flown with such speed before, but still he thought Salamander to be too slow.

Why did it need to be so slow? He would have thought the spirit to be… faster than that? But he supposed that he had been delusional.

He supposed.

The medics yelled something as he raced through the infirmary. But he couldn’t hear them.

Just more nonsense.

Nonsense. All of it. Just gibberish.

---

You opened your eyes to see … a ceiling.

There was a dull pain to your side, one that seemed to course through all your body from that one point onwards. And it was as if all strength had seeped out of you, into the mattress, or maybe the thin air around you.

It was difficult to tell. Not that it mattered.

Your eyes turned down from the white ceiling, and started circling around the room. But before you managed to do more than take a deep breath, there was a sound, a voice calling out to you.

“My love?”

You knew that voice. You knew that gentle, tender touch that took a hold of your hand.

And as your eyes met with his, gazing into the sea of purple that wasn’t quite royal purple and not quite lavender, you saw nothing but sorrow. An ocean of worry.

There was a hint of red lining the white of his eyes… and it wasn’t the red markings. You were quite convinced of it.

“Hey…” you managed with a dry whisper. It felt as if your throat was lined with sandpaper.

But. You were there.

“I… worried for you,” he admitted, but there was depth in those syllables that spoke of so much more than mere worry.

They spoke of terror, something you didn’t think his tone of voice could manage. His voice had never seemed the type to know such an emotion, and yet… there it was.

“I’m still here,” you told him with that same, quiet, raspy voice, and gave him a small smile, but a smile nonetheless. You didn’t know what else to do, not in that moment.

There would be a time to go through the events of that mission, but it’d come later. For now, it was just about being there. That you were still there.

But the way he held onto your hand, with pale knuckles, told you of how much he dreaded to let go. A sense of fear, that if he let go, you wouldn’t come back to him. It was as if, he feared that the secure hold he had of you, was the one lifeline still keeping you there, with him.

In a way, it seemed silly, but in a lot of other way, it was so, so touching and heartfelt.

And who could blame him?

“I love you,” you told him.

And the way he drew in air to his lungs, as if to gather himself, so that his relief wouldn’t roll down his cheeks, already told you what words he’d utter as a reply, before they left his lips.

“I love you too.”

Nozel

Nozel Silva. He was a man who had lost a lot during his life, despite being royalty. Despite being fortunate and privileged in many, other, ways. But it was meaningless compared to what he lacked. What he had lost. Which was why he didn’t want to lose anyone dear to him ever again.

It was the one fear he held in his heart. That he would fail to keep his loved ones safe. That they would die, and he’d be, again, helpless in the face of death to do anything. Despite having grown older and stronger.

Despite having followed in the footsteps of his mother, and becoming a captain of the Silver Eagles.

It was a very real fear to him; that he might lose again. But he didn’t think it to be right, not since learning, not since knowing better, that he had the right to deny you from living the life you wanted and working as a knight. In a way it was a way of keeping you close as well. Because he could be there, nearby, most of the time. Though as time passed, he convinced himself that he was being foolish. That he was overthinking it. That he was being unreasonably worried.

But then, as he was overseeing a training session, he could see from the corner of his eye one of his subordinates that he had sent with you onto a mission.

And he was shaking. Shivering.

Something had gone wrong. But nothing had quite prepared him for what the knight managed to mumble, spit out after a long, stern scowl.

It hadn’t simply been a mission gone wrong.

Not ‘just’ wrong…

Though he couldn’t think of a word in that moment that would have been worse than wrong; more chilling than horrid. A lot of words… he had a lot of worse, none of which quite sufficed.

“…What?” Had been the only question, only word leaving him. And the tone, was deeper than any winter frost they had known in Clover. Harsher than the weather of the mountains between Clover and Spade. The chill of it… he could feel it laying down a layer of frost over even his own very bones.

He took a hold of the knight by the collar, but he barely realized it.

There was something about an infirmary, and how ‘they’ were trying everything.

He didn’t need anything else.

He only needed the statement of ‘they are trying’.

And though Nozel knew that his eagle was fast, it could never be fast enough.

Even if he didn’t know what to do when he got there. He simply knew that he needed to be there.

He had to. He had to. Hehadto. Hadtohadtohadto HAD TO-, be there.

Be there…

Only to be told not to look.

‘Don’t look’.

But he needed to see, so that he might know, for himself, what would happen.

---

The room… was quiet. Or then it just seemed quiet, and your ears didn’t register whatever sounds existed around you.

Perhaps it was the latter, since there was also a spinning sensation in your head. Light headed. And you ached all over. But you could feel all your limbs… that was good. Positive.

So, you moved your hand to your forehead, even if it hurt. Even if it made you wince in pain.

“Darling?”

There was a sense of urgency in the tone. But it was wrapped in a veil of taffeta, of concern and tender emotions that he held for you, which shone through the layers and layers of worry. It couldn’t be anything else but worry, that tone.

You turned your head to see Nozel sitting in the corner of the room.

There were bags under his eyes, and his hair … it was a mess. Strands of silver poked out from here and there. He looked like he hadn’t slept at all, and how he probably hadn’t eaten a single bite ever since you wound up where you were. Which made your heart clench in a different kind of a way.

“Mhm?” You hummed as he hurried from the chair he was in, to you.

“How are you?”

Again that tone; tone which was soft, urgent and filled with the sorrow’s of his heart.

“I feel like I was… ran over by… something,” you admitted. Because that was how you really felt.

He crouched by the bed, with his lips parted, as if he wanted to say something, but didn’t quite know how. As if he didn’t really know what to say. And perhaps he didn’t. He did and he didn’t. It was all a big jumble of words, of thoughts in his head.

“I… worried,” he said with a whisper.

And you… couldn’t help but look at him, because… he doesn’t-, say things like that. He shows that he cares, but he doesn’t… say it.

He never says it.

Only that he did.

He said it.

He said that he worried for you. You could see it from him yes, but to hear it, it just-, made your heart skip a beat and it… It just made you more certain about how you loved him and how he loved you.

He might have been a man who wasn’t good with words, but sometimes he said the most perfect things. And when he said it, he meant it.

#black clover fanfiction #fuegoleon x reader #fuegoleon vermillion x reader #nozel silva x reader #nozel x reader #black clover x reader #black clover oneshots

150 notes · View notes

sugawhaaa · 11 months

Text

Jungkook X reader

Morning routine

Pairing:Jungkook x fem!reader

Warings:none

Genre:fluff

Synopsis: after a sweet movie night last night you and Jungkook go through your regular morning routine but with a little more fun

A/N: people keep reading my older fanfics that are lowkey shit and it's like...PLEASE READ MY ACTUALLY GOOD STUFF 😭😭😭

Jungkook - morning routine 🎥

You watched the TV glow around the living room swallowed by darkness. Jungkook's head rested on your legs as your fingers strummed through his curly hair. You and Jungkook just finished watching the most recent spider man movie in his living room. The credits started rolling with some of the ost's playing in the background.

"What did you think of that?" You said looking down at the sleepy bunny on your thighs. "Jungkook?" You said as you gently tapped his shoulder.

"Oh, it was pretty good," he opened one of his eyes to look up at you through his long bangs accompanied by a little smirk. He then closed his eyes again before snuggling into you. You spotted a blanket behind you on the back of the couch. It was a soft brown and it contrasted nicely with the Grey couch. You took it and laid it over top of Jungkooks body. As you tucked him in, making sure almost every inch of his body was nice and cozy he opened his eyes. He watched as you treated him like your little baby. You noticed his staring eyes.

"What?" You said with some mysterious pink dust on your cheeks.

"You're so good to me," he said with a loving smile as you sat back up with his head perched on your legs again.

"That's because I love you~" you said, pinching his cheek lightly making him giggle and wiggle around. "Good night babes," you said as you pat his head lightly. His eyes fluttered shut and he snuggled into the blanket.

It wasn't long before you heard snoring from him and you realized the TV was still on. You grabbed a remote and exited out of the movie before shutting the TV off. You found a little foot rest to set your feet on nearby. You bent over Jungkook's sleepy head and pulled over the foot rest. You set your feet on top of it. You laid back against the couch and found yourself drifting asleep alongside Jungkook.

°○°○°○°○°○°○°○°○°○°○°○°○°○°○°○°○°○°○°○°○

Your eyes slowly opened to a bright lit living room with Jungkook half falling off the couch. You rubbed your eyes as you remembered last night and basically tried to come back from the dead. You stretched and grabbed your phone. You scrolled through some socials and played a game for a short while before decideding it was time to get up. You gently shook Jungkook and he slowly opened his doe eyes.

"Wakey wakey bunny," you smiled down at him. His face softened when he saw you. He lazily raised a hand to your cheek and patted it. You weren't sure what that really meant but you've gotten used to Jungkooks weird behavior. "I'm gonna go make breakfast,"you said patting his cheek back. He sat up off your legs to let you up. He let out a little groan and assumed that was his way of saying okay.

You got up and just started frying some eggs. Cracking each egg on the side of the counter and listening to the eggs sizzle as they hit the surface of the hot pan. As you chefed them up you felt song arms wrap around your waist. You jumped slightly before sighing.

"Smells yummy," he said in his morning voice as he rubbed his face into the corner of your shoulder. His wavy morning hair tickling your neck and you smiled. Like a motherly smile. The kind of smile a mom gives her kids when they're all playing nicely together.

You finished your underwhelming breakfast and sat down at the kitchen table. Bam came trotting over and sat under the table by your feet. Jungkook sat next to you as he ate your meal as if it were his last day on earth. There was hardly an opportunity to talk to him. Meanwhile you were calmly cutting up your food and eating it piece by piece. You took a deep breath as you watched the fool with all the love in your eyes. Jungkook caught your loving stare and gave you a cute little bunny smile. You laughed at his adorable expression.

"Why are you staring at me?" He said after swallowing his food.

"You're just so perfect," you said with a grin.

"I'm eating like a pig right now. What do you mean?" He said, cocking an eyebrow. You laughed your ass off before shrugging.

"I don't know. You're just you!" You said standing up with your plate in hand. You walked over to the dishwasher as Jungkook's eyes followed your figure. You gestured for him to give you his plate and he waddled over with his plate and utensils. He had a goofy grin on his face as you did these little tasks for him.

You and your boyfriend have a general morning routine. Eat breakfast, brush teeth, brush hair, skin care, and stretch. The rest of the day was pretty much just a whim. Without even saying anything you went to the bathroom as JK waited outside shifting from side to side. Then you traded spots. He went to the washroom as you adjusted the heat pump. After a while you joined him in the bathroom. The two of you brushed your teeth when Jungkook had a great idea.

"We should do that thing where I hold your tooth brush and brush your teeth and you do the same for me!" He said with a smile. You shrugged your shoulders.

"Why not," you giggled as you handed him your toothbrush. He gave you his and you awkwardly brushed his teeth. It was quite the funny feeling and you laughed. It got chaotic quickly. Choking each other, brushing each other's lips, it was so fun for no reason. Jungkook took the tooth brush out of your mouth and rubbed the toothpaste on your nose. "Hey!" You yelped as Jungkook laughed at you. That's when you grabbed some mouthwash and chucked it in his mouth, catching him way off guard. Now it was your turn to laugh at him.

"Alright bring it on!" He said as he tackled you and started coloring your eyebrows with toothpaste. You laughed and squirmed around. You got an elastic from a little jar on a little rack beside the sink and messily tied his hair back with it. After you did that he grabbed a handful of Bobby pins and put them in your hair. You laughed hysterically.

"Why!?" You laughed as you rolled over on the floor. You then noticed some body butter on the side of the sink and you grabbed it. You grabbed a big scoop of it before drawing a smiley face on his forehead. You laughed at how silly he looked. Meanwhile he smiled at you with the most pure in love eyes you've ever seen. He then placed toothpaste kisses all over you. You squirmed around as you laughed saying, "that tickles!" Jungkook stopped and you both let out big sighs.

"We should probably actually get ready now," Jungkook said as he stood up with a big grin. You nodded and washed yourself up.

After the whole bathroom fiasco you and Jungkook did some quick morning stretches in the living room. After that Jungkook did the dishes from last night. Popcorn bowl, some cups and other random things that were thrown in the sink. Meanwhile you were vacuuming and cleaning the bathroom. Jungkook moved onto doing some laundry as you showered.

After all the morning chores you and Jungkook found each other sitting on the couch in the living room. Jungkook placed his Nintendo switch into the TV and you brought yours out to the living room. You sat next to him on the couch and you wrapped a blanket around both of you.

"So this is the plan today?"

"One hundred percent," he said with a grin and a determined head nod.

#bts army #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts jungkook #bts jk #bts jeon jeongguk #bts jeon jungkook #jungkook fluff #jungkook x original character #jungkook x y/n #jungkook #bts yoongi #Spotify

107 notes · View notes

narbevoguel · 6 months

Text

AoC deserves better.

I think enough time has passed for me to rant about the current status of BotW, AoC and TotK.

I'll start by saying TotK is a really fun game, I enjoy playing it way more than I ever did a portion of BotW, they actually found a good balance between old dungeon design and trying to revamp it somewhat, it still needs work but defo a step in the right direction; but the reason I believe people feel BotW was better for them, is because of multiple factors:

1.- The novelty of exploring wore off. First, you get to explore the same Hyrule from BotW, and while the overly needed addition of caves was a thing, the depths and skies added little to no substance, contrary to what the trailers made you believe.

2.- While the story, standalone at least, is not that bad, it isn't a big of a deal either, and while I believe the premise for it is better than BotW's, at least BotW bothered sticking to it with a strong foundation, whereas TotK story is glued together with nothing but tape and tears (no pun intended).

3.- The characters. BotW gave us amazing characters that sadly the plot didn't let shine (which is where AoC comes in, but that's for later), TotK gave us characters that are just... there. Even if BotW did little to nothing with its cast, at least they had their moments in the cutscenes; what do the likes of Rauru, or Sonia, or the past Sages have? Nothing. It's almost like they left out important plot points out on purpose and somehow thought not elaborating on them was a good idea? I bet not a lot of people know about Rauru's sneaking out antics, or Mineru not getting enough sleep because of her research, or Zelda liking to help Mineru with her research because that's just the kind of nerd she is, or the fact that Rauru and Mineru would perform together in the form of song and dance respectively. These are things that would have been cute to see in the form of cutscenes like we did with the Champions in BotW. You can summarize plot and characters to an extent in BotW, but not in TotK, sadly. That said, I don't mind Ganondorf being evil for the sake of being evil, but them choosing to make him less of bound to the curse and more the curse itself can get disappointing at times. What's the point in making him sexy with zero substance? (Yes, they made him sexy on purpose, they said in an interview). But back to the Champions, can I mention how little respect they had in TotK? Like, I understand passing on the veil of destiny to the now sages, but disregarding them almost completely like that was a decision I can't understand, you take the best of BotW and almost discard it completely in the sequel?

AoC, on the other hand, took everything BotW and just added the "what if" fanfic 'fix' where everyone lives and it's a much better, happier outcome, but as a result, it lets the best part of BotW (the characters) properly shine and be fleshed out, it's a game that was clearly developed with care towards the source. The hate it gets it's because it was marketed as a prequel to BotW, yet it wasn't (and tbh, I'm sorry but thinking a musou game was gonna have perma character death was kind of a naive thought), and thus has no place in the timeline, but we are somehow okay with TotK liking to play the game of "Let's pretend BotW didn't happen"? Where do we draw the line then?

If you think there's nothing wrong with how TotK handled BotW's retcon, but don't like the premise of AoC, you owe AoC an apology.

That said, if I were to recommend someone who really enjoyed BotW what to play next, I would recommend AoC 100%, as much fun I have with TotK, AoC is more respectful.

I don't want to hate on TotK entirely, because I stand by what I said, I still have lots of fun with it, I never enjoyed playing BotW, but I do TotK, but it's being praised for things that people used to justify hatred towards AoC, and I won't allow it.

#legend of zelda #breath of the wild #tears of the kingdom #age of calamity #botw #totk #hwaoc #long rant

51 notes · View notes

cake-apostate · 15 days

Text

Years ago, I had a fanfic idea where the SMT protagonists replace the heroes of the Persona games. The joke was that they're all these badass fighters who could easily sweep the dungeons with their skill and experience, but they're also hilariously bad at the real life segments.

The fic didn't really work out, probably because I was trying to use too many games and too many characters, but I still like the idea.

So, let's say that one week after the end of their games, the heroes of SMT were put in the role of Joker from Persona 5 (the Persona game I played most recently).

The Outsiders

Aleph, Flynn, and Nanashi aren't from modern Japan, and they'd have a hell of a time trying to adapt.

Aleph would be an absolute disaster. He's a toddler in a man's body raised by a gladiator coach who thought he was rehabilitating an amnesiac. It's a miracle the lad can read.

That's not to say that Aleph is dumb; he couldn't go through his game if he couldn't make informed decisions for himself. He just lacks formal education, social awareness, and casual life experience.

At the very least, when something's going on that he doesn't understand, Aleph has learned to stay quiet and go with the flow. He'd probably be fine socially, especially as a silent protagonist who needs to listen more than he speaks.

On the other hand, Aleph is missing a ton of common knowledge, even more than the average resident of Tokyo Millennium. Everyone assumes he knows more than he does, especially since he doesn't always say when he doesn't know something.

If there's any nonstandard ending, it would be "Aleph fails all his quizzes, exams, and homework, and is expelled."

Nanashi is the opposite. Like Aleph, he doesn't know societal conventions, but unlike Aleph, he doesn't care about breaking them. Aleph came from the gutter and was told he could strive higher; Nanashi came from the gutter and he knows he can survive there.

My favored Nanashi is "Anarchy but made all the friendship choices." He's gotten to a point where he likes people but knows he doesn't need them. All social limits are artificial; why conform?

He's someone who sees a straight line between himself and his goals, and doesn't need to care about what other people think of him. He would not play along with any of the targets' threats, especially because he doesn't have the same kind of social context. Ooh, Kamoshida's going to get him expelled; do I even need school? Sure, Madarame, send the police after me; have you seen what I did to the last people who came after me? Medjed threatens to crash the Japanese economy; what does that even mean? He'd only see Kaneshiro as a problem, since Makoto is in immediate danger when they meet.

(He would at least try to make sure that the others wouldn't go down with him. If he gets expelled, he'll do his best not to drag Ryuji and Mishima down with him.)

Nonstandard ending: before Morgana mentions the change of heart, Nanashi straight up murders Kamoshida and spends the rest of the game evading justice.

Flynn is in a state of constant stress. This isn't his first time as a fish out of water, but at least his Tokyo had a high tolerance for weirdness. He's more socially aware than Aleph or Nanashi, but he knows little about modern Japanese culture and manners, and he knows that.

Flynn's personality took me the longest, but since SMT4 has no room for error in alignments, I think of him as an anxious perfectionist. He doesn't know why, but he's keenly aware that if he says or does just one thing wrong, it will all end in disaster.

Strangers see Flynn as cool, calm, and collected, but that's because he's afraid to let on that he doesn't know as much as they do. Of all the Phantom Thieves, he'd relate the most to Futaba, who also feels like a stranger to this city.

I feel like he'd have to pull the, "I'm a foreign exchange student" card a lot, and leaves other people to assume which country he's from. The only other countries he knows are France (from Isabeau's manga), Russia, China (Infernal Akira can ask if Mikado is in Russia or China), and maybe America.

Nonstandard ending: Flynn has no idea what a train is. Flynn gets lost on the way to school and never finds his way back. The end.

The High School Students

Kazuya, Naoki, and V-kun were high school students when their games began, so they wouldn't be too bad at modern times or school life. It's everything else that's the problem.

The way I see Kazuya, he had to grow and adapt to the postapocalypse more than anyone else. He's a fragile human with no special enhancements or any real support net. To survive, he had to be tough, he had to be stubborn, he had to assert his dominance and take no shit from anyone. He stayed alive by shutting down his feelings and only showing weakness to the people he trusted. That's how he became the best demon summoner.

That also makes him the worst Wild Card. He's terrible at making friends; other people would have to put in the effort to break his armor. His comrades might easily write him off as a bossy control freak, and they'd only associate with him when they need help.

Persona 5's Confidants do usually begin with Joker wanting someone's help (Tae's medicine, Iwai's guns, etc.), so he might have a bit of an easier time starting the Social Link than in other games, but he'd probably screw it up somehow.

He's a good person, but he's terrible at expressing it because demons would see it as a weakness.

Since the mask he wears is so thick, he'd probably have a powerful starting Persona. At the same time, he wouldn't really experience an identity crisis; he knows who he is under the mask, and has no trouble being himself around the people he loves.

Also, something I see in him more than any other protagonist is that he's willing to cut ties with the party members if he disagrees with their methods, even if he doesn't have a solution. All of the heroes fight their friends, but for some reason it struck me the most that Kazuya didn't have a plan to fix Tokyo when he fought the Messians and Gaians (who for all their faults, did). If he disagrees with the other Phantom Thieves, he's leaving.

And on a lighter note, Kazuya might know exactly where in Tokyo to find real guns: the antique shop in Kichijoji.

Ryuji: "Check out what I got!" *takes out fake gun*

Kazuya: "Look at what I have." *takes out real gun*

Ryuji: "Hey, cool, you found that store that sells fake guns!"

Kazuya: "...Yes. I found the store that sells fake guns."

Nonstandard ending: Kazuya refuses to use the change of heart because he saw with his own eyes how messing with minds destroyed Aoi (the heroine) from the inside. Kazuya leaves the Phantom Thieves and brings the targets to justice his own way, probably by use of demons.

Naoki is the opposite. He had to toughen up, but he never had to put on a mask. Unlike Kazuya, demons don't see him as prey by default, and now he's strong enough to beat any other demon to death with his bare hands. Demons won't think any less of him if he gets weepy and emotional. (Although admittedly, this was because I think it's funny for the strongest being in the universe to be shy and awkward.)

I see Naoki as traumatized. He wants to be left alone and isn't fully comfortable returning to ordinary student life. At the same time, he's 'just' going to be quiet and antisocial; if he does end up talking to people, he wouldn't shoot himself in the foot like Kazuya. He'd get along fine with his teammates... if he had any.

Nocturne is the only game where you have no human battle companions (vanilla SMT V barely passes with Tao, and Yuzuru and Ichiro are still fighting on your side, just elsewhere). The only competent human helping the Demi-Fiend is Hijiri, who is strictly a noncombatant. In other words, Naoki's not used to fighting alongside humans.

It wouldn't occur to Naoki to bring Ryuji to the Metaverse. Morgana, yes, because he already has a Persona, but Ryuji can't defend himself. So maybe he'd confide in Ryuji and ask for his help in the real world, but he wouldn't become a party member.

Most of the subsequent party members join because of the others. Yusuke follows Ann, Makoto figures out they're the Phantom Thieves because of how they hang around each other, etc.

Nonstandard ending: that ending gambit required a bunch of people working together.

With V-kun, it's a different story. The question is no longer, "how would his experiences make him a bad Persona user;" it's now, "how does the plot work if he's literally God?" I think there's a fun crack fic where he tries to juggle being the rebellious leader of the Phantom Thieves while he's also doing God stuff. And since Law is the only ending that leaves the status quo setting intact, he's not also running Bethel, he seeks to control the world through faith like Yaldabaoth. The irony is staggering.

There also needs to be an excuse for why he doesn't use his God powers to instantly solve all the Confidants' problems. Sure, human problems must be solved with human means, but there's "reconnect with your mother and discuss what is truly important to you," and then there's "get out of this predatory cult that blackmails tons of people," and "I need help developing this lifesaving medicine but I'm being blocked by the establishment." If he's trying to be a benevolent god, he'd want to solve those problems anyways.

And, of course, there's the obligatory climax where the Phantom Thieves discover that their leader is God, feel betrayed, but then remember that their friendships were genuine.

Nonstandard ending: "Hey, Igor, Aogami tells me that you're not what you seem. Care to explain?"

Misc.

The Confidants with these guys would be hilarious.

Aleph needs Ryuji and Mishima to explain the concept of a maid fetish to him. When he does end up hiring Ms. Kawakami, he has no idea why anyone would be interesting in anything but cleaning. Not because he doesn't know what sex is, but because he knows that you can hire actual prostitutes.

I think it's cool that Chiyaha has actual psychic powers unrelated to Personas. So her readings turn up the actual pasts of the heroes, but most are so outlandish that she doesn't believe what she sees. "...It says that you're God."

In a separate fic, I wrote (but have not yet published) a bit where Kazuya buys three Holy Stones from Chihaya because he bought that kind of shady stuff from the Messians and Gaians all the time.

Nanashi is unimpressed with Kaneshiro and his threats. The Ashura-Kai did so much worse to everyone in Tokyo, and both of the bosses he knew could do things like throw lightning and fire at people who pissed them off. Kaneshiro is just a man with money. His thugs don't even have guns! Nanashi is going to murder everyone in that room.

#shin megami tensei #persona #persona 5 #shin megami tensei i #shin megami tensei ii #shin megami tensei iii nocturne #shin megami tensei iv #shin megami tensei iv apocalypse #shin megami tensei v #v-kun #smt1 #smt2 #smt3 #smt4 #smt4a #smt5

16 notes · View notes

snwusberry · 1 year

Text

cry for love

pairing: yeonjun x reader x wooyoung

genre: angst, fluff (if you squint real hard)

warning(s): language, food/eating, alcohol consumption, intoxication, a lot of crying, toxicity (yeonjun is a lil toxic ngl), trust issues, cheating mentioned but no one actually did, a lot of tears. love square my dudes. pov changes (sorry). there are many errors. i will try and fix them as soon as possible.

wc: 7k

notes: this is by far my longest fanfic (i had to bust out my laptop for this one) and i'm not gonna lie, for someone with a short attention span, this was quite difficult to write but i wanted to step out of my comfort zone so here it is. i hope you all enjoy this one

playlist:

cry for love - baekhyun

movies - conan gray

the cut that always bleeds - conan gray

like i need you - keshi

i don't - sabrina claudio

bleeding love - leona lewis

reader pov

"this is the third time in a row now yeonjun. how many times is she gonna rock up at your apartment drunk?" i ask him, looking at the sleeping girl on the sofa. she’s a little too at peace for someone whos ruining my night right now.

"she comes here because she's most familiar with me. who else is supposed to help her?" yeonjun defends and i roll my eyes, not having any of it. this not the first time this is happening.

"her other friends. it's funny how she's got other friends, isn't it?" i sarcastically remark but he just returns a stern look.

"quiet down, you're gonna wake her up." i raise my eyebrows at the sheer audacity.

"have her sleep somewhere else then. i don’t know, call someone to pick her up and look after her. you're not doing none of that tonight." i tell him.

it's tiring how much this happens. she always does this. she comes up with something whenever she knows yeonjun and i will be together that day, like right now. she appeared drunk on yeonjun's doorstep on the day we decided to spend time together.

"please be serious right now."

"i am being serious. she's not spending the night here." i fight back, trying to stand my ground but i'm afraid i'm fighting a losing battle.

"this is my apartment y/n, not yours. i think that i should be the one to make that decision, no? stop bitching about it." he responds coldly with an unreadable expression on his face. there's a look in his eyes i've never seen before.

"okay then i'll leave."

his eyes soften upon hearing my tone of voice indicating that i am, in fact, upset.

"i didn't mean that." he tries to hold my hand to stop me from leaving but i pull away, getting my things to leave.

"then what the fuck did you mean?" i ask him turning to face him but he just stares, not saying anything. “you said what you said. call me when you drop this act of yours."

once the cool air outside the giant apartment building hits me, i let out a sigh, frustrated by all this. he really said that to me with a straight face and thinks he can just take it back all willy nilly? unbelievable.

i send a text to the person who's been helping me through this somewhat confusing moment in my relationship.

me:

are you busy?

i get a text back fairly quickly, i don't even need to read it to know he's not busy and judging by his patterns, he wouldn't have responded so quickly had he been occupied.

woo:

i make my way down the familiar road to one of my best friends' apartments. i've been here many times before but now i feel bad for even thinking about going there because i feel like as of late, i've just been there to complain.

"oh y/n. come in." he ushers me inside his warm apartment.

i make my way in and he walks me to the kitchen where i sit by the small island.

"let me guess, the name starts with m?" he asks, preparing some tea for both of us. i nod but the tears start to fall. i fucking hate when my anger turns to tears because it makes me feel weak. "that's not all, is it?" i shake my head and he walks around the island to pull me into a hug.

---

i sit on the sofa with a cup of tea in my hands. wooyoung sits next to me listening to everything i'm saying while i rant about what happened with yeonjun.

"that's messed up like how many times is she gonna show up drunk at his door?" wooyoung asks, outraged at the audacity of this girl.

"that's literally what i said to him. i told him she couldn't have gone to anyone else and you know what he said? he said 'she's most familiar with me. who else with her?' can you believe this guy?" i rhetorically ask, taking a sip from the cup. "and then i said to him that she's not spending the night and i kid you not, something in him just switched. he was like 'that's not your decision to make' but like, the way he said it... it was so unlike him. it's like i was talking to a whole different man."

"if this continues its gonna be a problem." wooyoung warns me cautiously.

"i know. i don't like where this is going."

---

i wake up, sitting up to look around, realizing i crashed at wooyoung's place. everything from last night coming back to me. i remember how yeonjun acted, that i cried and now i'm here.

"ahhh." i groan throwing myself back on the bed. how long is this going to go on for?

"rise and shine." wooyoung calls out a little too chipper. he enters the room and i glare at him. "what's with that face? come on i made you breakfast."

"you didn't have to."

"you say that all the time and yet here we are. come on grumpy." he says, pulling me out of bed.

"i'm not grumpy." i mumble with a pout.

"say again."

"nothing."

"thought so."

he makes me sit down at the kitchen table where the table is set with my favourite breakfast. i thank him, sitting down.

"don't be shy."

i smile at him, immediately digging in.

"slow down. the food isn’t running away." he warns and i apologize briefly.

my phone starts ringing and i check to see who it is but my smile falters and wooyoung looks at me worried.

"who is it?"

"yeonjun."

his face falls at my answer, as if a happy moment was ruined.

"answer."

i nod, answering his call but i take a moment before saying anything.

"babe?"

"hello."

"baby, please come over, or rather, i'm coming over-" his voice sounds hasty, his breathing choppy, as if he ran a marathon.

i look at wooyoung for a second with hesitance and he's just minding his own business but the look on his face shows he's upset.

"don't bother." i tell him bluntly. i'm still not over last night so let me be petty today.

"why? is everything alright?"

"i'm not home." wooyoung looks up and shakes his head making me sigh. "look, i'll be right there. just make sure your friend is not there once i arrive."

"come on y/n not this again."

"i'm serious yeonjun." i hang up before throwing my phone on the table. letting out a sigh in frustration because i don't want to go to him right now. he could at least let me enjoy my morning.

"go on." is all wooyoung says before standing up and clearing up the dishes to wash them. his mood has clearly drastically different now.

"wooyoung-"

"go talk to him. you can't leave these things unresolved like this. go talk to him and sort this mess out."

"but wooyoung."

"no, not another word. besides you can always come back once you're done." he suggests so i just agree.

"okay."

i walk out, calling an uber to yeonjun's apartment building, deciding not to walk there.

i make my way to the elevator where i see mara walking out. i try to avoid her, not wanting to even talk to her because it will just ruin my mood completely.

"oh? look who it is."

dammit.

i put on my fakest smile, turning to face her. "hi mara."

"going to yeonjun's?" she asks and i fight the urge to roll my eyes.

"no i'm here to see soobin. haven't seen him in a while." i respond sarcastically.

"soobin is in the states."

wow i had no idea.

"great then who else could i possibly be here for?" i ask her in the most real yet fake questioning tone.

"why don't you just give up already? no matter how hard you try, yeonjun will always pick me over you anyway." she smugly remarks and i roll my eyes.

"is that why you he asked you to leave for me to come see him at my request, might i add. i wouldn’t be proud to be a choice sweetie." the elevator door opens once again and i get in, waving at her as the doors close.

something inside me is restless though because deep down i have a feeling that she might be right. he's chosen her over me multiple times so i'm afraid she's right.

once i reach his floor, i walk to his door and knock, hearing shuffling before the door opens.

"you didn't have to knock you know. i'd know it's you." he says blankly and i roll my eyes.

"yeah well then i guess we both acting different."

"babe- wait, those are last nights clothes." he looks at me suspiciously and i raise my eyebrows.

"i'm aware."

"then where were you so early in the morning? you said you didn't go home last night?" he questions.

"why do you care?"

"because you're my girlfriend, of course i care, y/n be serious please." i scoff at his words. at this point, i feel like he thinks i’m a joke because he always says that to me.

"i am being serious. you haven't been treating me like i'm your girlfriend so i don't see what's wrong with my question."

"what are you even saying? and where did you go last night then?"

"oh now you're questioning me? you called me over to talk so tell me what you needed to so i can go."

his eyebrows furrow as he looks at me confused.

"i wanted to spend time with you since our date last night was ruined." he says softly.

"and who ruined it?"

"don't start. just please tell me where you wer-"

"wooyoung's place."

his face drops to an expressionless one and he just looks at me.

"why the long face now all of a sudden? what's wrong?"

"you get mad at me for having mara over but it’s okay for you to spend the night at wooyoung's place? how is that fair? besides, i only went there because of you."

"because of me?" he questions and i nod. "why? tell me."

"because he's the one who was able to give me comfort after the way you spoke to me. you chose to let mara crash our date for the nth time." he remains silent. "what now? much like you were there for mara, wooyoung did the same for me."

"was it to spite me?” he asks me and i scoff.

“not everything is about you jun.”

“i don't want you going near him anymore. if you have a problem you come to me." i scoff, rolling my eyes at what he just said what does he think this is?

he has to be joking. he is joking right?

"and if you are the problem?"

he looks at me confused with his head tilted trying to figure out what i meant.

"what do you even mean?"

"i mean that you, choi yeonjun, are the problem in this scenario." i tell him and try to walk out but he grabs my wrist.

"let go."

"not until we resolve this."

i sigh to myself knowing he's right. we need to actually talk about this or it will just get out of control.

"come sit down." he gently speaks walking with me to the living room.

"y/n please tell me what's wrong." he asks once we've sat down. we're facing each other while he holds both of my hands in his, rubbing the back of them with his thumbs.

"mara and how you are around her."

he let's one of my hands go to run his hand through his hair, an irritated expression making its way on his face.

"you always act different when she's around."

"why are you always bringing her into this?"

"she's getting in the middle of us." i tell him and he rolls his eyes.

"baby she's my best friend, that's all."

"and she likes you."

"don't talk shit."

he thinks i'm talking nonsense? it's clear as day that she has feelings for him and it frustrating that he can't see it but him talking to me like this? absolutely not.

"i'm telling the truth. tell me, how come she always has an emergency whenever we're together?"

"i don't know. look it's not right to blame someone else for this. do you not trust me?"

"of course i do! if i didn't trust you, i wouldn't have left the two of you alone together and i would’ve questioned you the way you just did when i walked in. i just want you to see what's really going on here."

"y/n." he reaches for my hand again to hold it. "whether she likes me or not, that shouldn't matter anyway. i love you and only you and that won't change."

"then why do you always choose to be with her instead?" i ask him and he tenses.

"what?"

"you always choose her. whenever it comes down to it, it's always gonna be her. she even said it herself in the lobby and i told her off but i knew deep down that she’s actually telling the truth."

"y/n."

"like last night, for example. she showed up and you stopped our plans to go help her even though there are many other people she could've ran to, then when i walked out, you did nothing."

"this is ridiculous."

"you are being ridiculous, yeonjun. you don't wanna see what's right in front of you."

"are you jealous of her or something? babe i tell you time and time again that she's just a friend!" he raised his voice at me and i pull my hands away from him.

"oh i'm jealous... that's what it is, right? i'm jealous because my boyfriend is making time for someone else. i’m jealous because my boyfriend let's me leave to spend the night with another girl. is that what you're saying?" i question, standing up, ready to leave.

"stop talking, you're making it seem like something it's not. besides you have no right getting upset since you spend all your time with wooyoung anyway."

"BECAUSE HE AT LEAST HAS TIME FOR ME! it's selfish, yes but he has time for me when you are too busy giving all of yours to someone else!"

"are you that hungry for attention that you're too busy looking for it elsewhere?"

"fuck you yeonjun." with that i walk out and go straight back to wooyoung's apartment.

---

there is a movie playing but it's just background noise at this point because my thoughts are running wild.

i found myself staying at wooyoung's apartment for the past 3 days since my argument with yeonjun.

he let me stay here and he's been nothing but accommodating and i feel like i'm taking advantage of his kindness which is the last thing i want to do.

"wooyoung."

"hmm?"

"thank you." is all i say and he sits up from his seat.

"for what?" he asks, not knowing where all of this is coming from.

"thank you." i repeat, feeling a burning sensation in my eyes.

"y/n." i look down and he moves to the loveseat i'm sitting on. he sees the tears forming on my eyes and immediately hugs me. "what did he say to you?"

i can't answer, the words are stuck in my throat and i couldn't answer him.

"it's okay. it'll be okay."

"i don't think it will." he stops patting my back for a second before continuing.

"don't be like this y/n. he’ll open his eyes eventually."

"i'm afraid it will be too late by then." i say sadly, more to myself than anything but i said it too loud because wooyoung heard.

he pulls away to take a brief look at me.

"what do you mean by that?"

"i'm reaching my limit here."

"don't make any hasty decisions."

"i'm not wooyoung. i love him, i really do, but if loving him is only going to get me feeling like this then it's really not worth it."

"y/n-"

"it's tiring." i tell him letting more tears fall at the thought of possibly ending my relationship with yeonjun.

"whatever you choose to do, i'll be right by your side." he softly tells me with eyes filled with sorrow as he watches me cry. "and if he doesn't appreciate you someone else definitely will. you're a sweet girl who deserves only the best and it kills me to see that that's not what you're getting."

he makes me look in his eyes and mouths something that i couldn't quite catch what he said. he wipes away my tears with this tumbs, all while keeping eye contact with me.

"someone will treat you better y/n." he whispers, letting out a sigh before looking away. "come on, let's do something that'll get your mind off him." he suggests. i don't know what he means by that.

"sure."

"alright, follow me." he takes my hand and takes me to his room, further confusing me.

"wooyoung?"

"shhh." he rummages through his closet and get a long sleeve shirt, handing it to me. "wear this."

"what's this for?" i ask, looking at him.

"just wear it. there's a method behind my madness."

i just shrug and put it on over my tank top and we walk out.

---

"a rage room?"

"why not?" he asks, shrugging his shoulders before we both walk in and book a session.

the lady explains the rules to us and before i know it, i'm breaking everything around me with out a care in the world. i'm imagining mara’s face before hitting something which really helps get the aggression out.

"FUCK! YOU! CHOI! YEONJUN!" i scream while breaking the things around me. "AND FUCK THAT MARA BITCH TOO!"

wooyoung just looks at me with a wide smile which is still visible through the protective gear.

once our session is over he takes us both to go eat some street food and i feel calm after all that.

"you know, i needed that." i breath out in content.

"yeah?"

"yeah. is it concerning to feel better after imagining someone's face over an object before hitting it to oblivion?" he laughs making me smile a bit, not thinking what i said was gonna be funny but go figure.

"it's not hard to imagine someone's face over something you're gonna throw at a wall."

"who's face were you imagining?" i ask him, turning to face him on the bench.

"the one who made you cry." i stop eating briefly at what he said.

"not too much bow, he's still your best friend."

"that doesn't excuse his shitty behavior." he sing-songs before taking a bite from his food.

"still." i try to grap a fry from his box while he’s not looking but he staws my hand away before i can even get far.

"hey."

"you have your own."

"had my own." i frown showing him the empty box.

"ask next time. here." he says giving me some and i smile, thanking him.

"the weather is so nice today."

"not with that fucking vanilla talk."

"last time i try to create conversation." we laugh together, looking at the sun setting.

i feel a lot better now after going to the rage room and taking out all of my frustration.

"ready to go home?" he asks once we're done.

"can we go to your place?"

"and what will your boyfriend think of that?" he asks teasingly.

"he won't like it but i spent the last two nights at yours so what's another night?"

"i don't want him to freak out on us for that. come i'll take you home."

"please wooyoung. i don't wanna be alone tonight."

"then call yeonjun. i think you both need to sit and talk with a clear mind.”

"we tried that already, remember?"

"try again." he urges and i sigh, taking my phone and dialing his number. it rings but he doesn't pick up.

"voicemail, see he’s still mad. let's go."

“y/n” he warns and i sigh, giving in, deciding not to make this an even bigger deal.

once i get home and wooyoung has left i lay in bed, listening to the music playing on the speaker.

yeonjun and i have been together for 3 years now and we've never gone through something like this nor have i ever considered the possibility of breaking up with him so how did we get this far?

i pick up my phone to text him. i just wanna see something.

me:

yeonjun please come over quick!!

please.

something happened!!

i put my phone down to see if he will even respond.

"in my head we never grow apart. in my head you never break my heart. but we know that's not what we're doing. 'cause baby this not like the movies." i sing along softly letting a tear fall hearing no notification go off on my phone. this is exactly why i didn't wanna be alone tonight.

---

wooyoung's pov

i sit with san in his apartment just relaxing, catching up, all that fun stuff. it's been quite a while since we actually got to just hang out and talk but right now i just wish more than anything that he'd shut up or change the topic because he is driving me insane.

"i say be selfish." he finally says with a shrug to finish off his little rant.

"what do you mean by that?" i ask him, narrowing my eyes at his final statement.

"look, yeonjun is being a complete dick right now and who does she run to afterwards?"

"me?"

"bingo." he smiles, taking a sip from his can of beer.

"i'm not picking up what you're putting down."

"she goes to you for comfort and you treat her the way her boyfriend is supposed to. be selfish and let them break up. i mean, why are you even trying to help save a dying relationship?"

"because i respect both of them and their relationship. besides, that's just taking advantage of her vulnerability you ass."

sometimes he doesn't think past the present.

"and its not like she'd ever look at me that way. no matter what the state of her relationship with yeonjun is, she will still love him regardless." i tell him sadly. she's deeply in love with him and it hurts me so much because it's not certain if he shares the same sentiment anymore and i'm just here waiting to give her the love she deserves.

my phone rings and i pick up without checking who's calling.

"hello."

"jung wooyoung."

speak of the devil.

"y/n."

"wooyoung are you home?"

her words are slurred and my worry spikes. she's drunk in broad daylight. it's never a good sign.

"JUNG WOOYOUNG!"

i hear her starting to cry judging by the feint sniffing on the ither side.

"are you also tired of me now too?"

"where are you?"

"don't worry if you're busy right now. i don't wanna bother you." she hiccups, before yawning loudly.

"you're not. please tell me where you are."

"the streets." she laughs hysterically before catching her breath. "i'm outside yeonjun's apartment building."

her voice wavers when she says that and my heart sinks. what did that asshole do to her this time?

"i'm coming there okay. don't go anywhere."

i hang up, ready to get my keys.

"where are you running off to?" san questions with a raised eyebrow.

"to pick y/n up. she's not doing too good."

"let me come with."

"okay let's go."

once we get to the complex i see y/n sitting on the ground looking out of it.

"holy shit." i hear san whisper as we run to her and get her off the floor.

"wooyoung?" she smiles widely it doesn’t reach her eyes. she looks a mess with swollen eyes and tears still running down her cheeks. i feel terrible.

"if she can show up drunk at his door then why can't i? why am i not allowed to go to him all vulnerable like she does? i'm his girlfriend, not her!" she starts shouting out of nowhere which draws attention from a couple of people around us.

this isn't fair anymore. if he's gonna keep pushing her around like this he might as well just end this relationship instead of continuously making her feel like absolute shit.

"why doesn't he love me anymore wooyoung? why? why don't you love me anymore yeonjun?! what did i do?" she starts yelling, properly sobbing now, hitting my chest while she speaks.

"get lost." san says, probably talking to someone who is probably staring. i need to get her away from these people looking at her weirdly.

i take her to the car, getting in the back with her so she can sit comfortably.

"what did he do?" i ask her once she’s seated comfortably.

"he kicked me out because that bitch was there. she probably called him crying or some shit but i'm crying too." she points to herself, choking on her tears. "YEONJUN SEE I'M CRYING TOO!" she shouts to no one. i close my eyes, letting tears of my own fall. i haven’t seen her like this before. 'aww, look, you woke up poor mara who’s sad and going through things, and she’s sad and not doing too well.' it's always about poor sad mara! you know, he called me an attention seeker the other day? an attention seeker for wanting the bare minimum from my boyfriend. he's with that girl so much, he might as well be her boyfriend and not mine right?" she humorlessly laughs. "and then he had the audacity to tell me i can't be around you anymore. who does he think he is?”

did he seriously tell her she can’t be around me anymore? but then he continues to act the way he does. if y/n can't confide in me or him then who else is she supposed to run to?

“he's not mine anymore wooyoung. i think i've lost him."

i shake my head as she cries in my shoulder.

where did it all go wrong? i mean, he's never been like this before so what now? why is he acting differently now?

"enough is enough. san, please take her home and take care of her. make sure she drinks water and sobers up. i'll be there soon." i tell san who's in the passenger seat and he nods.

"san is here? hi san." she smiles widely, waving in no particular direction.

i give him the keys and wait for him to drive off before heading to yeonjun's apartment, knocking on the door and i wait for him to open. he's got a look of surprise written in his face.

"wooyoung? what are you doing here?" he asks and i shrug. "come in."

i walk in seeing another pair of shoes already there. he offers me a drink which i decline.

"is mara here?" i ask and he nods. "yeah, she's asleep in the room."

"i see."

what's gotten into him? he used to be the most attentive person when it came to y/n so what changed?

"what on earth do you think you're doing?" i ask him.

"sorry?" he asks me, completely dumbfounded by my sudden question.

"do you think what you're doing is right?"

"what's this all about?" he questions, clearly not expecting me to start asking him questions.

"mara is here sleeping am i right?" he nods. "and where is y/n, if you don't mind me asking."

"i sent her home. she came here, caused a scene and started drunkenly shouting so i sent her home because she could've woke mara up." i wanna strangle him so bad right now but i just scoff, deciding to choose peace.

"doesn't it concern you that she's coming to you drunk at 3 in the afternoon?" i ask him but it seems like i'm talking to a brick wall.

"what?"

"you're so dense."

"look, if you came here to do the same then you can go see yourself out."

"do you understand the shit you're putting y/n through?"

"don't involve yourself, this is between y/n and i." he warns but i'm not backing down. he either does something to fix this or he breaks up with her and he's deciding that today. i don't care anymore.

"no, its between you, y/n and mara so i will involve myself too. y/n has been crying non stop for days now because of you and your inability to see what mara is actually doing here."

"she didn't do anything. y/n clearly doesn't trust me to be around her so she's obviously gonna wanna cause a scene."

i raise my eyebrows at his bold choice of words. so he defends her by belittling his own girlfriend... it's bewildering to me.

"you're unbelievable. through all of this, when has she ever accused you of cheating with mara?" he remains silent. what else can he say? there's no way to defend the way he's acting right now and i will call him out for it. "she does trust you asshole, all she wants from you is for you to not blow her off because mara needs you. she needs you too yeonjun."

i'm saying all of this but a small part of me hopes he stays stubborn like this and they break up. san is right, it is selfish but i wanna be there for y/n the way yeonjun is failing to. she deserves so much more than this and that's what i wanna give her but then again.

but there's a small part of me that know i still don't have a chance anyway. she doesn't see me that way and that's the only reason i'm here trying to help save tis relationship. even if it hurts me in the end.

"i'm with her all the time." he defends and i scoff. there's no way he's actually being serious right now.

"that's bullshit and we both know it. when was the last time you two actually spent quality time together?"

"two weeks ago and then she walked out."

"without interruptions." i clarify and yeonjun's face drops. i don't know what he's thinking right now but he better be realizing his mistakes.

"you called her an attention seeker for wanting to be with her boyfriend who's too busy with another girl."

"you're making it sound like something it isn't."

"well how am i supposed to know what actually goes down when the two of you are alone together."

that hits a nerve because he yells for me to shut up and i just smile at his reaction.

"don't you ever accuse me of such things EVER. i love y/n way too much to even think about doing that to her so who are you to even question me on that? besides, you're the last one to talk."

"excuse me?"

don't act like you're not always with her. who knows what you two are doing behind my back?" he asks and i raise my eyebrows. someone needs to be here to slap some sense into him because he's genuinely lost it. if he loves her so much then why is he acting like this.

"that's how much you trust her and i? you know, she's never questioned you about mara. you say love her but you don't trust her? is that it yeonjun? and you have the audacity to say you love her then why don't you fucking show it? she sat outside this very building for who knows how long crying her eyes out asking why you don't love her anymore. she asked why mara can come to you in that very state but she can't and she's your girlfriend, no less. you know what else she said? she said she thinks she's lost you. she said you're not hers anymore. are you hearing me? she's giving up on you and she’s giving up on trying to singlehandedly save your relationship." i tell him while he looks at me with tears forming in his eyes.

oh now he's listening...

"you know, she's told me before that she's thinking of breaking up with you because loving you is hard and she doesn't think it's worth all this pain it’s giving her."

"she said that?" he asks and i nod.

"i'm gonna give you an ultimatum. it's y/n or mara."

"quit playing wooyoung."

"i'm not. either choose mara and end it with y/n and i will personally make sure it ends or choose y/n and stop being friends with mara."

"why? you hoping i choose mara so that she can run into your arms?" he asks rhetorically but that question has an answer already.

"yes i am, actually. she's already doing that, isn't she?"

"you son of a bitch. i always knew you had feelings for her. if you ever say shit like that to me it won't end well."

"look, i was never even trying to hide it. she only runs to me after you treat her like trash. she doesn't see me like that and you know that. that's why i'm here right now. because no matter what my feelings for her are, you’re the one she thinks about. you're all she talks about. i know i don't have a chance otherwise you two would've broken up the moment she came to me the first time crying because of you. make a choice yeonjun." i say before walking away.

---

reader's pov

headache. a fucking headache is the last thing i need right now.

"y/n?"

"hmm?"

"how are you feeling?"

i open my eyes to see san standing by the door with a mug in hand.

"horrible. why did i do all that?"

"i made some tea for you." he hands me the cup and i thank him, taking a sip a little too quickly because i burnt my tongue. "easy now."

"sorry."

"what happened yesterday?" he asks sitting down on the edge of the bed next to me.

"where do i even start?"

"ladies and gentlemen. sorry i have a little announcement. attention everyone." i slur out to everyone who's around me in the bar. it's more on the secluded part of the club so i can get away with making a little announcement. i just need these people to listen.

"ma'am, get down from there." a man who's sitting at the bar tries to help me down but i haven't said what i needed to yet.

"hold on i need to tell everyone this. HELLO!! yes."

"ma'am get down or i'm afraid we'll have to throw you out."

"my boyfriend is an asshole." i laugh hysterically, clapping and everything. "YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE YEONJUN!!"

"get down!"

"okay okay i am. relax." the people around me helped me down but i was escorted out because these people are boring and don't know how to loosen up.

i could go to yeonjun. i hope he's not busy with mara right now. i miss him and we haven't spoken in a good minute.

i decide to walk, not really feeling like sitting in a stuffy car.

once i get there, i take a breath before knocking on the door and wait for him to open but nothing so i just enter.

"CHOI YEONJUN!" where is he? "babe i miss you where are you?"

"y/n?" he appears from his room and i immediately run to him for a hug.

"were you drinking?" he asks annoyed. what's his problem?

"just a little. i had like 5..."

"y/n."

"bottles." i burst out laughing but he doesn't seem to find it funny. so uptight.

"y/n you're drunk."

"am not." i pout and he rolls his eyes.

"why are you drinking at this time of the day?"

"because of you. you made me feel like shit when you didn't respond my message yesterday. o drank because you don't care about me yeonjun. you didn't even call to check. WHY DIDN'T YOU AT LEAST CALL ME? TELL ME!"

"yeonjun?" i look at the person calling his name and there stands mara in the doorway to his room.

"babe is she wearing my clothes?" i ask him after eyeing her up and down.

"she's just borrowing them."

"no you are incorrect. YOU yeonjun, took it upon yourself to give her my clothes. borrowing would imply that she asked me to wear my clothes and me allowing her to but it's nothing of the sort. see how it works? come on, go change." i tell her walking towards her but yeonjun holds me back from walking forward.

"what am i going to wear then? jun please speak to her." she is such a bit-

"y/n."

"give her yours then. there problem solved, now everyone can have their tea. i'm so smart." i pat myself on the back beaming at my bright idea.

"y/n you're embarrassing yourself."

"in front of who?" i start looking around to see if there's anyone else here but it's just the three of us. "i don't see anyone."

"me. you're embarrassing me."

"okay but in front of who though?"

"y/n go home, alright, you're drunk and you woke mara up."

"oh sorry mara. i didn't mean to barge into your home and wake you up. and don't even worry about my clothes you can have them. you've already taken something else from me, getting upset over clothes would just be trivial."

"Y/N!" i immediately stop talking, flinching from him shouting my name suddenly. my heart starts rapidly beating and my breaking picks up pace. "please just go home. now."

i nod, trying to hold back my tears as i walk out the door.

"im so sorry y/n." san said, taking my hand in his to try to comfort me. i keep my head ducked.

the door opens and wooyoung walks in.

"san what did you do to her?" he jokes making me laugh a little bit.

"nothing. shut up."

"y/n, can i talk to you?"

"sure." he walks in, sitting down next to san.

"i spoke to yeonjun." he starts off but i don't wanna hear it. anything with regards to him, i don't wanna hear it. his name alone just upsets me.

"let's not mention his name right now."

"i gave him an ultimatum." he blankly says and i look at him.

"what's the point? he's chosen her time and time again, what's the point? and talking about him will just piss me off." i dismiss the idea, not wanting to talk about it further. "let's talk about something else." i suggest.

"you really not gonna talk to him?" san asks and i shake my head.

"i don't want to. you know, something in me keeps telling me to just meet up with him so i can end it, but i'm weak. i'm too weak to do something like that."

"you can't avoid him either though." wooyoung injects but i shake my head.

"then give me time to think things over."

"i'll respect whatever decision you make." he says.

"thank you woo. but please don't let me cause a dent in your friendship. the last thing i want is for you two to stop talking on my expense."

"i'm just gonna say it. y/n, you're too good for him." san says making me smile.

"thank you." i finish my tea and take a shower before heading back to my place.

i look through the racks of the detergent aisle. i've been needing to buy groceries for a while.

the past week after the whole incident at yeonjun's apartment have been complete hell. a whole back and forth of emotions and its honestly too much for me but i need some air and run errands and basically get my shit together because i can't let a man put my whole life on pause like this.

my phone beeps and i check, smiling while reading wooyoung's message. him and san have been checking up on me every 3 hours, driving me up the wall here and there but i appreciate it nonetheless.

once i get home, carrying my groceries, genuinely in a good mood after actually taking a walk but ummm.

"what are you doing here?" i ask the girl.

"just visiting a mutual friend." she slyly responds making me roll my eyes.

"get lost."

"no."

"suit yourself."

i unlock the door, going in, shutting it in her face, waving before locking the door.

because i thought a bitch said something. i do not have time today.

i put on my music, deciding to clean up and pack my stuff like the mature adult i am.

while i'm going through my bills, i hear rattling at the door.

now who's trying to break in?

i stand up to go check, deciding to bang on the door to stop this person but then they start again.

"see what i’m not gonna do is deal with this rattling noise going through these thin ass walls, if you wanna get in just knock like a normal person dammit!"

the person knocks and i open the door. why? i don't know, i could literally be in danger.

"what the hell do you want?" i look at the tall man in front of me, not really expecting him to be standing there.

"oh it’s you." i try to close the door but he pushes it and keeps it open. "are you here to shout at me for closing the door in your precious mara's face?" i ask looking at the girl standing behind him.

"i'm here to talk to you."

"i don't wanna talk to you. look i've been having a good day today so please take your little hip attachment and leave."

she looks at me smugly and i decided to just turn a blind eye because she's pissing me off.

"mara please leave." he tells her not even looking at her. her face drops and i look at yeonjun, confused.

"do you want me to wait for you outside?" she asks him, voice getting high pitched as if she wasn't sounding like someone's father while speaking to me earlier.

"go home mara." he sternly tells her.

"jun-"

"leave." he urges making her open and close her mouth like a fish. deserved bitch.

"yeonjun why are you here?" i ask in a defeated tone not really in the mood to talk to him right now.

"i wanted to talk to you. can we please talk?"

"no." i try closing the door again and he stops my from doing so again.

"please y/n."

"i don't want to talk to you right now. please just leave me alone and don't be so rude to mara. go with her and leave me alone please."

"y/n."

"GO."

"i'm not ready to give up on us y/n."

"I TRIED WITH YOU YEONJUN! i've been trying with you. it’s only when i've reached my limit when you come to me with that? it took someone to force you to make a choice for you to realize the shit you’ve done but all those times i've pleaded with you flew over your head. i stood in your apartment drunk as a cry for help and you threw me out because i woke your dearest friend up! i took everything and accepted it quietly. you called me names and i accepted it, you spoke to me however you wanted to and i accepted it. you had that girl in MY CLOTHES, USING MY SHIT SLEEPING IN YOUR BED AND I FUCKING KEPT QUIET. i never once doubted you or your relationship with mara, only to have wooyoung tell me that you had the fucking audacity to question my loyalty to you when i've never given you a reason to. it's not fair so for you to come here, sending mara away in front of me as if to prove a point and demand that i talk to you. it's just pathetic." i yell out to him, finally getting it off my chest.

it felt good to actually say it and dare i say, to shout at him the way i did.

"you're only here because wooyoung gave you an ultimatum and that's what fucking opened your eyes? i'm your girlfriend yeonjun, not a choice and if it's gotten to a point where you havr to you're have to choose me or someone else then please just don't bother choosing me, it's insulting. now please give me some time and leave from here."

he nods his head and i can see the prominent pain in his eyes but i need to stand my ground.

he finally leaves and i shut the door. i truly can't believe this guy.

the last couple of weeks have been hell and here he comes all willy-nilly talking about some, 'i'm not giving up on us' well it sure as hell felt like it. after pushing me away for so long he only comes to me now after i've given up? i've told him how i felt but he only listened after someone else told him.

"fuck you yeonjun!" i sob out quietly. i've found myself saying that a lot lately because who does he actually think he is?

still, after all the heartache, my heart is still too weak to leave him.

he's just a caring person though. that's how he is but if he's caring, then we wouldn't be like this now.

i know that mara is the main reason all of this is happening, he's never acted this way until she developed feelings for him and decided to try to separate us, but he still made his own decisions regardless of that. he let her get between us and he chose to treat me the way he did.

i wanna get back to how we once were but there's this lingering question of 'what if this all happens again?'. i mean, he didn't hesitate to forget me once so what's stopping him from doing it again?

my phone rings and i walk to go pick it up, seeing it's wooyoung calling.

"hello?"

"are you dumb?" he asks me and i furrow my eyebrows.

"okay ouch, first of all, and second, where is this coming from?" i ask him.

"why did you shut yeonjun down when he wanted to talk things out?"

"because i'm tired woo. he's been putting me on the back burner for another girl for weeks before i said anything and when i did, it all just spiraled after that. he spoke to me any which way and i took it but it became too much. i'm tired from all the chasing." i rant out to him, feeling tears forming.

"so what does this mean for the two of you?" he asks.

that's a good question...

the next week has just been me thinking everything through. 3 years together is a long time to consider.

i call yeonjun telling him i’m outside before entering the building. i walk to his door thinking over, knocking on it before he opens it.

"y/n. uh come in." he steps aside, allowing me in. being in here fills my head with nothing but memories of the recent events. that's not a good sign.

"do you want anything?" he asks but i decline.

sitting at the kitchen table in awkward silence, my leg bouncing up and down from the nerves that have taken over.

"i'm sorry for lashing out on you last timea. i didn't let you explain your side of the story which was unfair on my part." i tell him, avoiding eye contact.

"how you reacted was valid. i haven't been the best boyfriend to you for a long time now and i wanna apologize for everything. for the way i spoke to you and treated you. it was completely unwarranted and unnecessary and i should have listened to you the first time, no actually, i shouldn't have given you a reason to feel that way in the first place."

i see tears forming in his eyes as he speaks and it takes a lot in me to not engulf him in a hug to comfort him. i can't do that right now, i need to be headstrong.

"it shouldn't have taken someone else to talk to me about this before realizing what i did to you and i should have managed my priorities better. you know, you're the most important person to me and i didn't show it and worst of all, i questioned your loyalty to me, not once but twice."

i never once did. not even when i saw mara walk out of his room because that's how much i trust him. you can't love without trust and he clearly couldn't seem to trust me and that's what stings the most.

that's what breaks my heart more than anything. i haven't given any reason to feel that way which is why i was shocked when he doubted got just me but wooyoung as well. everything between us has been nothing but platonic but clearly he didn't see it that way. a tear rolls down his cheek and i look away so that i don't see him crying, it's my biggest weakness.

"i should know better than anyone that you wouldn't even think of doing such a thing. look, i regret everything y/n. you shouldn't be apologizing for the way you reacted yesterday, i was wrong, i let someone get between us and i hurt you. that's my biggest regret." he says.

we both have tears running down our eyes but i still refuse to look in his eyes. he takes hold of my hand before continuing to talk.

"i'm not asking for you to forgive me right away because i know that's a big ask but let me earn it please."

"okay. you can earn my forgiveness." i smile weakly at him before quickly looking away. "by letting me go." i finish and i feel his grip on my hand loosen a bit.

and that is why i didn't want to look in his eyes. because i know i wouldn't be able to tell him that had i looked in his eyes.

it hurts to do but i know it's the best decision for me right now.

" y/n, what- what are you saying?" he asks, stumbling over his words.

"i thought about this yeonjun. the things you've said to me, the things you've done. it was so easy for you to forget how to act, who's to say it won't happen again?"

"i cut ties with mara."

"it shouldn't have to get to that point. that means that you'd let this keep happening otherwise. it shouldn't get to the point of you having to choose."

"i don't wanna lose you." he weakly tells me but i shake my head.

"actions have consequences. please let me go. let's end this here." i feel the lump in my throat forming and that's the last thing i need. i can't let myself change my mind now. i've had to think about this far too long to let myself fall back in his arms. it's for the best.

"is that really what you want?" he asks and i nod, not trusting myself to talk. "then that's it."

i let out a breath i didn't know i was holding.

"i love you yeonjun."

"i love you too." he says before letting go of my hand.

i walk out without looking back, because if i do, i'll just run back to him.

‘sorry heart, i guess we’ll just have to start again.’

i let more tears fall as i walk into wooyoung's car.

"ready to go?" he asks and i nod and with that he drives off.

"you missed the exit." i told him and he just smiles.

"i know."

"where are we going?"

"who knows?"

"wooyoung."

"you need to see some scenery, get some air, and let your mind relax so that's why. remember, there's a method behind my madness. there always is." he saus smiling.

"thank you woo."

"don't. you deserve the best and i'll always be there to give you just that." he says to me making me smile.

#choi yeonjun #yeonjun #yeonjun imagine #yeonjun scenarios #jung wooyoung #wooyoung #wooyoung imagines #wooyoung scenarios #yeonjun angst #wooyoung angst #tomorrow x together angst #txt angst #ateez angst #tomorrow x together #ateez #kpop imagines

209 notes · View notes