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#shebbz shoutz
t00thpasteface · 12 hours
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generally my stance on gimmick blogs is i don't think it's a crime to be unfunny, but i don't think it's funny to be mean. and if you design and run an entire blog around dunking on people and their posts, even if they "deserve" it, i think you're wasting your time and not doing yourself or your mental health any favors. incentivizing yourself with fake internet numbers to train your brain into always looking for the next stranger to be catty and snide towards is not a good habit to be in
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t00thpasteface · 1 day
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t00thpasteface · 1 day
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🐬 aquatic carnivorous ungulates!
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t00thpasteface · 23 hours
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it's what he would want
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t00thpasteface · 3 days
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insomniac at 2am. organic chemistry at 8am. i regret everything. i regret everything i've ever done
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t00thpasteface · 2 days
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few things are as simultaneously heartening and frightening as telling a professor "hey, sorry i didn't do as well as i probably could have on that exam; i really am trying" and just seeing him nod and calmly say "you're on my radar"
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t00thpasteface · 9 hours
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"shunt" is one of the best words ever. it's so harsh and sounds like a slur on its own but it's especially harsh compared to the neutral, technical, polysyllablic anatomical terms it's usually sharing the sentence with. intracardiac right-to-left SHUNT
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t00thpasteface · 5 hours
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why didn't anyone tell me about the Jester's Feast style in eso
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t00thpasteface · 3 hours
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you can look, but you will not find a STRONGER, FASTER-ACTING, or PINCHIER sea elf; that's the Joe Crabshack guarantee!
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t00thpasteface · 2 months
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got told at lunch "you feel like Tumblr Incarnate" and i had to tell them i've been here for 13 years and counting. i was here three years before dashcon happened. i saw the mishapocalypse. i survived the gigapause. i've been here longer than the shoelaces post. i've been here since it was hipsters versus fandom and i played both sides extensively by overdoing the sepia filters on everything and making my own flashing galaxy gif edits for my fandom posts. i'm every tumblr. it's all in me
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t00thpasteface · 2 months
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literally no better feeling than blurting out some loud dumbass joke with your buddies and hearing a total stranger ugly-snort-laugh as they walk past bc their own laughter caught them by surprise. find joy and connection in the spontaneity of strangers you son of a bitch. i fucking got your ass
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t00thpasteface · 3 months
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fucking love saying "tough crowd" or "is this thing on" after telling a joke and not getting a response. or "i still need to workshop that one". you fools. even when you completely ignore my jokes you're only helping me set up more jokes. it's open mic night at the hotel california
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t00thpasteface · 24 days
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literally so embarrassing to have someone go "i don't go here" or "what's this from?" on my art and it's a rarepair/crackship that is in no way representative of the source material... and i have to be like. well you see, the rest of the restaurant's menu is not like this. i'm doing my own thing eating black olives right out of the can in the back-of-house. whether or not you want me to throw you a can, you have to understand that's not what they serve out front
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t00thpasteface · 6 months
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just found out that giant squid meat is chock fucking full of ammonium ions to increase buoyancy so they would taste fucking disgusting if you tried to make calamari out of them. i mean i wasn't planning on it but a girl can dream right? nobody talk to me
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t00thpasteface · 5 months
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my roommate's been having a ROUGH time with her calculus class and the horrible professor that teaches it so i was cooking some comfort carbs for her in the hall kitchen when she sees a guy in a batman costume for 0.5 seconds on the 2nd floor balcony above us. totally shocked her out of the bad mood for a minute. later on as she's eating i ask her if she's feeling better and she just sniffles and takes a bite of her buttermilk biscuit and in the saddest, most trembling voice she mumbles "i want batman to come back :("
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t00thpasteface · 2 months
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the real antidote to the problem of "everyone is beautiful and no one is horny" is watching old horny shows like mash. nothing but perfectly normal-looking, homely, average people in that show who hook up with each other or unseen partners on a regular basis. hawkeye is absolutely drowning in sex and the man has such a bizarre mismatched set of randomly strong and weak facial features on a noodle body with dogshit posture. and it's GREAT. you can't tell how soft his jawline is because there's always a woman kissing his neck and blocking the camera. i know i riff on people saying they want to fuck mulcahy until he has a religious epiphany but as a butch lesbian with that exact face shape it's been so healing to be like. ohhhh ok so sexuality and attractiveness isn't just limited to the perfect beautiful poreless people on netflix. i understand now
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