#i was in so much pain making this set.......why is he SUCH A CUTIE!!!!
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mark // “how we do” recording behind
#nctinc#nctcreations#itsnctsworld#mklnet#ocora#shuaria#userkyutie#kpopco#kpopccc#ultkpopnetwork#midolsedit#idolnexusedit#mark lee#mark lee gifs#nct mark#mark#madebymel#i was in so much pain making this set.......why is he SUCH A CUTIE!!!!#also it's so cute how he sings with his whole body lol
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Spicy Shion Madarame Headcannons
Pairings: Shion x reader, Shion x Sanzu x reader
Warnings: Male!reader, dom/top!reader, switch/vers!Shion, switch/vers!Sanzu, sadomasochism, rough sex, degradation, petplay
Genre/Format: Smut; Headcannons & scenarios
Please check my blog title to verify whether requests are closed or not! Thank you!
First thing's first, I HC Shion as gay (hence why this is x male reader specifically)
He truly thought that he was bisexual when he was a young teen, but eventually figured out that that was not the case
He's absolutely a bottom (and a brat) and he WILL flaunt that fact 😅
Shion's dick is definitely on the small side; only 4 inches erect
He enjoys all manner of degradation, just don't make fun of him for that ⬆️ please. You can call his cock cute or say “pretty little cock” but that's as far as he will let it go
When he ejaculates it's always in small spurts. He doesn't really cum a lot at a time
Speaking of cumming, Shion cannot get off by humping things...no matter how hard the pretty boy tries, it only leads to hours of working himself up until he eventually gives up in frustration — still hard 'n horny, but unable to cum
In other words, use that as a punishment when he misbehaves ⬆️
This guy. He's such a sadomasochist–
Likes it rough for sure. Likes it when you slap him while he's jerking off, step on him, bite him!!, just give it to him rough and he'll be very happy~
As mentioned, Shion is a sadist too. He very much enjoys sinking his teeth into your flesh and leaving painful scratch marks all over you
Shion wants to wake up covered in bruises from how hard you were gripping him last night; with your own set of bruises from his grip to match
Refers to his hole as a pussy/boi pussy more often than not (and hopes that you'll indulge him and do the same 👉👈)
Tell the cutie how much you love his lil pussy if you want to see him instantly harden
Shion has a pretty bad daddy kink too...so I hope you enjoy your partner calling you 'daddy' constantly
Including in public!! Shion calls you daddy anywhere, in front of anyone
Don't tell anyone, but he has a bit of a crush on Sanzu... 🤫
Sometimes fantasizes of getting DP'ed by you and Sanzu. Both of you roughing Shion up while your cocks stretch his hole–
In his daydream, Shion is sandwiched in between the strong bodies of Sanzu and his lovely boyfriend. Moaning shamelessly as his ass gets the pounding of a lifetime
“Yeah, fuck– such a tight cunt. Y'sure you want us to use you, Shion?” Pathetic whimpers spill out while the blond nods frantically, gripping onto Sanzu's shoulders for support. Standing behind Shion is you, easing your dick inside of your boyfriend's hole. His legs are held up so that he's completely off the ground, allowing your dick to enter him at a better angle
Across from him is the aforementioned Sanzu, with eyes glazed over in lust from the sight before him. Who knew Shion was such a slut? A filthy whore who begs for multiple cocks to stretch his ‘pussy’, as the guy calls it. Shion's twitching and whimpering cause Sanzu's own dick to twitch inside of his boxers, he stares at the cock defiling the blond's ass currently and has to stop himself from groaning
Sanzu leans forward to capture Shion's lips in a kiss, pawing at his friend's body out of some desire to be closer. Their erections rub against each other all the while — Sanzu's still clothed dick presses against Shion's smaller length as it leaks, dribbling precum down his shaft and smearing the substance over Sanzu's underwear
With his face now close to yours, you sneak a kiss to Sanzu's temple, watching the guys sloppily make out right up against your shoulder. Sanzu gropes Shion greedily, getting louder and more desperate as the seconds go by. You finally speak up and urge Sanzu to, “Put it i-in...he can take it.”
With zero hesitation, Sanzu flings his boxers off and pumps his dick a few times, spreading his own precum along his shaft before pressing the tip against Shion's stretched hole–
A montage of nasty, rough sex plays in Shion's mind; His lil pussy gets wrecked over and over, stretched to its limit by your fat cocks. His lil hole gets creampied again and again, only for one of you to slap his cheek and stuff him again. His lil cunt is left gaping and red from the repeated abuse, displayed in the air for his daddies to admire
Just before he wakes back up, back to reality, Shion will imagine the tender ministrations along his skin. The caress of hands on every bruise blooming on his body. Gentle kisses everywhere, from both of his boyfriends at once, apologizing for the pain of it all earlier. Praises burned into his brain, coming at him from all directions while the two of you paint Shion's skin with even more kisses and hickeys
—
Shion is big into petplay too! Please buy him a custom collar! He'll love you forever and then some if you present him with such a thoughtful gift 🥺💛
He's so chihuahua-coded. Feisty, loud, but so super adorable...you can't be mad at such a cute face for very long
Daydreams of having a puppy playdate with Sanzu!!!
Force Shion to eat out Sanzu's ass while you fuck his mouth. Make the pink-haired pretty boy slobber all over your bone(r) and degrade him. Order Shion to pound Sanzu's hole with his cute cock, shallowly penetrating his ass. The blond will desperately hump Sanzu's ass, pressing against his back and probably playing with his chest at the same time
He may be a bottom, but sometimes he gets off on the thought of you ordering him to fuck someone else with his little dick. Shion doesn't have experience topping, his only instinct is to hump and rut into a hole once he's inside, chasing his own pleasure. Panting like some bitch in heat (he's so fucking adorable– I CANNOT AAAHH 😤)
#my writing#tokyo rev smut#tokyo revengers smut#tokyo rev x reader#tokyo revengers#shion madarame#shion smut#shion x reader#sub shion#dom shion#sanzu haruchiyo#sub sanzu#dom sanzu#male reader#dom reader#top reader#headcannons#shion x sanzu
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Stay a Wee Longer
Pairing: Soap x Medic!OC (Sergeant Lynn)
Summary: Soap ends up needing to be stitched up and is happy that the person doing it is so purdy
a/n: I actually like this fic ngl
c/w: poor understanding of medicine and the medical field, blood, wounds, mentions of dropping babies, saying too damn much while high off pain meds, a cutie patootie so cute it makes me wanna explode, too much smiling.
Word Count: 10k
***
You raced down the hallways of the small med bay alongside the medic you were turning over as he filled you in on the current influx of patients.
“We just got a wave of task force in the bay. You know what that means.” Reed sings at the end of his statement.
“Trouble.” Your words are dry, already exhausted from imagining the day ahead. “Yes, ma’am!” He exclaims in agreement.
When the task force was back in town it meant everyone had their work cut out for them. All sorts of injuries would come through, many needing immediate care.
“Your first patient is Sergeant Mactavish. Ooooh, he’s cute.” Reed gasps, peaking at the patient chart before handing the clipboard to you. “You should really make a move.”
“What’s wrong with him?” You ignore his remark.
Reed rolls his eyes at your attempt to deflect.
“Laceration, Left pectoral muscle. Bleeding is minimal, large improvement from earlier.”
“Yeah, rog.”
“If you don’t make a move on him then I will. Give me his file back.” He says while faking taking the clipboard from you desperately.
“Reed! I swear!” You finally break, smirking at your friend. He laughs before you both head in opposite directions.
You reach an unmarked door, a room reserved for more secretive guests. You knock before entering and greet an apprentice cleaning up a mess of bloody gauze.
“Thank you, I’ll take it from here.”
The apprentice nods and leaves. You feel a pair of eyes on you while taking another peek at the patient’s chart before speaking.
“Hello, Sergeant Mactavish, how are you this morning?” You brace for a sarcastic or angry response only to be met with a genuine “Oh, I'm quite lovely.”
Your eyes dart from the chart to him in surprise. His baby blues staring back at you. You’d ask patients how they were, even when they were obviously in pain, it allowed you to gauge how well they may cooperate during the treatment. Usually, the response would be along the lines of “fuck off” or “what do you think?” Yet here he sat with a slight smile tugging at one side of his lips and a dazed look.
“What’s yer name, bonnie?” His eyes were tired, dark circles clung to them as if he hadn’t slept in weeks.
“I’m Sergeant Lynn. I’ll be tending to you today.”
He gives you a proper smile, his eyes nearly closing in the process,
“Good tae meet ye, Sergeant Lynn.”
You notice the scar on his chin and recall his lengthy medical history in the chart,
“You sure do get hurt a lot, don’t you?”
He continues grinning, “Aye, I’m awfully good at that.”
You take a seat on the rolling chair next to the hospital bed where he lies. Your eyes give him a once over looking for any other obvious injuries. He’s lying shirtless, his camo pants splotched with blood here and there. He has a small patch of chest hair and a Scottish flag tattooed over his heart, and old scars litter his torso and arms. Your cheeks felt warm at the sight of his physique, it was obvious that this man loved the gym as much as life itself.
You mentally tell yourself to keep it together as you put your gloves on and begin removing the bloody bandage placed on his chest to help stop any bleeding he still had. His wound still oozes out a slow stream of blood traveling down his chest and slowing at his abdomen. You wipe up the blood with gauze, feeling his muscles contract under your touch. He doesn’t seem to care that he’s bleeding, his gaze fixated on you.
“I’m happy yer the one lookin’ after me today.”
“Oh yeah, why’s that?” You glance up at him quickly before continuing to examine the wound and its depth.
“Yer the most beautiful woman I’ve set eyes on in a long time. And I’m no sayin’ that ‘cause I’ve been starin’ at ma teammate’s ugly mug fir months.” His words occasionally blend together in a messy slur.
You felt a little embarrassed by his compliment. It wasn’t the most appropriate time for you to be receiving one. He was bleeding, wounded, and your eyes trying so desperately to not gawk at his bare chest or stare back into his captivating eyes.
“Thank you, sergeant. I assume the pain medication you’ve been given is working well.”
“Ye assumed correctly, but I still hae some discomfort.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, I’ll up the dose for you.” You quickly reach over him turning a dial on his dropper, the liquid beginning to drop more frequently. Soap notices your sweet-smelling perfume at the brief proximity and he lets his head drop back on the bed, eyes shut trying to savor it. The cool liquid entering his arm through an IV causes him to sigh and you assume he’s feeling the effects of the medication a little more, relaxing even further into the bed but once again he looks at you, this time with the softest eyes making your heart jump at the sight.
“Could you state your name and date of birth for me? Gotta ask before I do anything.”
“As ye wish. John Mactavish, January 12, 1996.”
You thank him quietly and continue trying to clean his wound and stop the little bleeding that is still present.
“A winter baby, huh? I heard they’re the happiest little things.”
“Aye? Where did ye hear that?”
You toss the used gauze into a small bin on your work table. “It’s an old wives tale.” Your lips form a downturned smile. “I used to deliver babies. The old midwives always had the darndest things to say.”
He chuckles sweetly, “Ah wonder if it’s true.”
“Me too. Unfortunately. I only saw the babies when they were born. Never got the chance to catch up.” You find yourself chuckling alongside him. You were certain a tint of pink had found its place on your cheeks.
“It must be a wonderful experience tae see the birth o’ a wean.”
You pause looking up at him with your eyebrows raised. He recognizes the look he gets almost daily from his teammates and translates, “A baby.”
You grab your suture and begin stitching the wound shut.
“It is. Sometimes it feels like a game of Russian Roulette, sometimes you get an easy delivery.” Your lip twitches downward, “Other times it all goes to shit. You don’t know what to expect, but with time it becomes a sixth sense.” You dab his wound with some gauze before continuing. “Most people don’t realize how hard birth actually is, or the risks. People think it’s easy because you might have the organs for it, but it often doesn’t go as planned.”
He listens to you attentively, his eyes go from the ceiling to you and back to the ceiling.
“Why did ye leave that work? Ye sound passionate.”
“Well, you can only drop so many babies before they send you running for the hills.” You joke, hoping he picks up on it instead of believing you were some serial baby dropper. His laughter fills the small room, the sound almost boyish but laced with the deep bass of his voice. You can tell he probably needed a laugh after the pain he’d endured.
“Ye hae a great sense o’ humour, sergeant.” His laughter dies down and he looks at you for the thousandth time. “Seriously, why did ye stop?”
You sigh, “I wanted a little more… Pizzazz?” The word sounded more like a question, you weren’t sure if it truly explained how you felt.
“…Pizzazz?” He repeats with a snicker falling from his lips. He tilts his head at you, his eyebrows raised in amusement. You look up at him with a spark in your eye that he can’t explain. “I wanted more chaos, more variety, heart-pounding work.”
“Hmm.” In a way he understood.
“When I woke up this morning, I had no idea what I’d be doing. Here I am stitching up a handsome Scotsman and tomorrow…” You shrug, “Maybe a rookie will come in with their fingers in an ice chest after a Roman candle fight. Who knows?”
He chortles, partially from you calling him handsome and from remembering his days of being a mentor to the rookies of his old unit before the SAS and Task Force. He’d received countless phone calls in the dead of night being informed that his troops were out raising hell. A rookie’s life was hell, but without responsibility, the blame would fall on whatever poor soul was listed as their supervisor.
“That mean ye work well under stress?”
“Something like that.” Your words trail off focusing a little harder on the intricate parts of the stitch. “What made you want your crazy-ass job?”
“The adrenaline is mental, but I get tae do something rewardin’. I’m proud tae protect folk, even frae dangers they dinnae know exist.” He hisses slightly at the end of his sentence. You stop, waiting for him to recuperate. He gives you a reassuring look before you continue. “What made ye wan’ tae be a medic?”
“I like helping people, even if they fight back half the time.” You go quiet for a few seconds. “Also, some rotten girl I went to school with said she wanted to be one as well and I said I could do it better.”
“Haha, ye seem like the competitive type.” His tongue darts out to wet his chapped lips. Your eyes retreat back to his chest, and you chew on your lip trying to calm yourself.
“I’m sure ye’d kick her arse at this a thoosand times o’er. I can see ye pit a lot o’ love intae yer work.”
“I do what I can.” You wink at him playfully. It was now his turn to blush, he was thankful that the scruff he’d grown the last two days was there to camouflage it. Cannae let a bonnie lassie see ye like this, John
“Alright, Sergeant Mactavish. You’re all stitched up and ready to go. Please take it easy until it heals. And please no Roman candle fights.” You warn while placing your tools on the small table to your side.
He laughs heartily, “Thae days are long behind me.”
“I’ll have an apprentice come to take out your IV and if you have an escort you can leave immediately.”
“Thank ye. I suppose it’s better tae be safe than sorry. Even though I reckon I could handle it.” His large hand comes up to scratch his scruff. His bicep contracts in what he thinks is a natural movement. You mentally roll your eyes at his innocent peacocking. If he hadn’t been so delightful, you’d have written him off as another sweet-talking womanizer you’d encountered from the special forces.
“Maybe you would manage just fine but every precaution comes about because the unthinkable has happened.” You clean up your station, disposing of your gloves.
“Do you need anything before I leave?”
“Tae be honest, I’d like if ye stayed a wee bit longer and humored a poor injured man.”
You shake your head at him with a smirk. Your pager cuts you off before you have a chance to respond. “I’d love to stay but I have to run.” You take out a notepad, scribble on it and hand it to him. Your soft hands graze his calloused ones. “Here you go, darlin’.” You shoot him a smile and he gladly returns one before you scurry off leaving him alone in the room. He looks at the piece of paper realizing you’d given him your phone number. A big smile spreads on his face, red finally peeking out from behind his facial hair. Oh, Johnny lad ye hae ootwitted yersel!
#soap x reader#john soap mactavish#soap cod#soap mw2#john mactavish#soap mactavish#soap imagine#call of duty fanfic#john mactavish imagine#john mactavish fic#myfic
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hello♡
I just want more louis just like you.. so how about something gentle with him, like caring for this cutie after a hard day when he just wants to be in the arms of his beloved?
if the order is bad or not interesting, just ignore
and sorry for my english, it's not my native language, heh
hi!! your english is just fine bae, let's see what's brewin' in the pot for you!
【 summary!! luis comes home not his usual self, his sweet spouse cheers him up. 】
【 content warning!! gn!agent!reader, mentions of workplace bullying/discrimination, mentions of death, slight angst, post-canon RE4 + possible spoilers, canon divergence, kissing, cuddling. a very sad luis :( 】
He didn't know how much more of it he could take.
The staring, the whispers, the dirty looks. .
What else was he supposed to do?
After Ashley's rescue, things seemed to take a turn for the better. He was granted immunity, along with a job as a researcher for the government. He was a proper researcher now, he was going to help save lives instead of standing aside as they were being destroyed.
He wanted to change, he wanted to be a better person. He wanted to try everything to atone for the past, the pain and chaos he's helped cause.
People can change, can't they?
Everyday, he'd walk into the office to make his way down to the lab. He'd catch the stares, hearing the whispers about him made the hairs on the back of his neck stand, and those looks. . those fucking looks.
"Wait- isn't that the guy who was apart of that cult?"
"What if he took out that Saddler creep so he could be boss. .?"
"What's he doin' in that lab? Bet he's making more of those sick parasites. ."
"He's probably the reason the president's daughter almost died."
He thought they'd eventually pass, that it wouldn't matter anymore. He tried his best, he really did. He just wanted to prove them wrong, that he wasn't the cultist monster they thought he was. But, he couldn't help but feel guilty.
He helped create Las Plagas, and by the time he realized his mistake it was too late. He just hoped- no, prayed that it wasn't too late for forgiveness, to pay his retribution.
He sighed, fiddling with his house key. He never talked to you about what was going on, he never wanted you to worry about him, especially about something so trivial. So, he shook it off, took a deep breath, and put on his poker face.
"I'm home, mi corazón!"
A smile on his face, he chuckles as you leap into his arms. Your arms and legs wrapped around him tight, like you were afraid to let him go.
"Ay! Where's all this coming from, eh? I'm sure I wasn't gone that long, cariño." He smirked, pressing a sweet kiss against your lips as he gently sets you on the floor, but his arms never leaving you.
God, he missed you. After another long day, he just wanted to be in your arms, just wanted to be near you. You were his home, his sweet paradise.
"I made your favorite for dinner. Go ahead and get comfortable, I'll make you a plate, babe." You say, pressing a kiss against his cheek before making your way back to the kitchen, so excited to spend the rest of the evening with your boyfriend.
He smiles as he watches you return to the kitchen before sighing as he crashed onto the couch, his hand combing through his dark locks as he finally got a moment to just be. . in peace. He was safe within the walls of your shared apartment, with such a sweet and loving partner like you here waiting for him.
He didn't deserve you. Of all people, why him?
"Luis. . you okay, baby?"
He quickly lifts his head to face you, you looked so worried. Fuck, he didn't want that to happen. How was he supposed to play this off?
He chuckled nervously, nodding, "Yes, yes, of course I am. Why wouldn't I be? I'm here, in this wonderful city with a wonderful partner and using this brain of mine to help people. I'm doing just fine, mi vida." He said, pressing a soft kiss against your knuckles after you set your plates down on the coffee table.
"Lu, honey. . I know something's wrong. You look so tired and. . over it, honestly. Are you sure that you're okay? You know that you can tell me anything, sweet baby." You assure him, caressing his cheek.
He couldn't contain it anymore. He just couldn't.
He sighed, resting his back against the couch. He finally shook his head, "It's. . been a rough few weeks, cariño. I feel like I'm barely keeping it together, if I'm being honest." He said, beginning to fiddle with his trusted lighter.
"Ever since. . you know, my co-workers look at me strange. While I'm on the way to the lab, I hear whispers and rumors, seeing those dirty looks they shoot at me. At first, I understood why. I mean, how would you react if your new co-worker used to work under a cult leader? That I stood by and let it all happen? I don't blame them. ." He sighed, flicking the lighter closed.
"I've been trying to atone for my sins, amor, I really have been. I feel. . horrible for what happened. All I wanted was to get out of that village, somehow, and I thought maybe that would be my chance. . obviously, I was wrong. I want to change, to be a better person. Ever since I was granted immunity, I've made that my mission. So far? It's going pretty damn poorly."
You could feel your heart break as you listened to him, you felt so bad. How could they? How could they just. . make those assumptions and accusations about him without actually asking for his side of events?
Luis was a brilliant man, an amazing boyfriend to you. Sure, he's done some major fuck-ups in the past, but he regrets every last thing. He just wanted to make-up for it all. He looked so sad, he never meant any harm, especially to the president and his daughter. That's why he helped when he did.
"I just. . I just want to help. I've lived a shitty life, and the moment I get a do-over. . more shit comes my way." He sighed, trying to keep his tears. They didn't deserve them, he had to be strong. But, he felt like he was reaching a breaking point.
"Lu. . whatever they say, it's not true. You and I both know that. Yes, you fucked up then, but you're making up for it now, and if they can't see that then they better not ask for your help when shit hits the fan." You said, getting a little pissed about it now. If you could, you'd kick every one of their uppity, government asses.
"You're a wonderful man, you've showed me that during that mission and you continue to show me that. If you truly were the ruthless bastard that they say you are, then you would've let Ashley die, you would've let all of us die." You say, wiping his tear away with your thumb as he looked so lovingly at you.
"Luis, I love you. You're going to help make this sick world a better place, and I'm so fucking proud of you." You say with a smile.
"I-I. . I don't deserve you, amor. Mi vida, la luz de mis ojos. What has this bastard done to deserve such love?" He whispered, finally being able to let go of his tears as he holds you close. You wrap your arms around each other in a warm embrace. He was so happy that you chose him.
"You're you, and that's all that matters, Lu." You murmur, holding him so close to you, wanting to squeeze out all those doubts and thoughts from him.
You loved him for him, and that was never going to change.
"Now, how about we enjoy dinner and some mind-numbing television? Then a nice, warm bubble bath and a movie with yours truly?" You ask, booping his nose.
He chuckled, sighing as he shook his head.
"That would be wonderful, my darling. . how can I repay such kindness and love? Would a massage suffice?" He spoke, smirking as he bounces his eyebrows, possibly hinting to something more.
You giggle, "I'm sure that'll do just fine as payment for my services."
He didn't deserve you. But, he damned sure wasn't going to fuck this up. No. . this was his second chance, and he was going to cherish every minute of it.
【 REBLOGS APPRECIATED!! 】
#x black!reader#resident evil x black!reader#resident evil x reader#luis sera#luis sera x black!reader#luis sera x reader#luis sera headcanons#re4#resident evil fanfiction#resident evil
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request: “hey can i request one where ur super clingy on ur period with seth? im so excited for your writings *sends kisses*”
warnings: none really
notes: super short but cutie
word count: 961
…
despite knowing your period would be coming every month, you always managed to be surprised by just how bad it was. you woke up in the middle of the night to some rather awful back pain, cramps, and nausea and immediately worked at getting out of your boyfriend’s cagelike grip when you realized you had just started your period.
when you managed to free yourself from his grip, you quickly made your way into the bathroom and turned the shower on which seth apparently took issue with. he was quick to wake up and come into the bathroom, getting in just a few moments after you had stepped in the shower, “why are you up?” he asked softly, kicking his sweatpants off so he could step in the shower with you, “it’s 3 in the morning.” he added, stepping over to you and pulling you close to his chest.
you sighed, melting into his embrace as you wrapped your arms around his waist, “jus’ got my period and thought the hot water would help.” you murmured and he nodded, running his hands down your back so he could knead the tense muscles in your lower back.
“‘m sorry pretty girl. you should’ve woke me up.” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head and you nodded, pressing your lips to his shoulder before peeking up at him.
“can we cuddle?” you asked softly and he nodded, smiling at you as he reached behind you to turn the water off. he helped you out of the shower, handing you a towel so both of you could get dried off before you headed back into the bedroom to get a new pair of pajamas on.
“did you take some midol yet?” he asked and you shook your head, taking your pajamas back into the bathroom to grab a pad, “you want some?” he added as he sat back down on the bed.
you shook your head, coming back into the bedroom once you had changed, crawling into his lap so you could wrap yourself around him. he smiled, pressing a kiss to your hair and wrapped his free hand around you, rubbing circles on your hip with his thumb, “drink some water then, yea?” he asked softly, setting down the remote once he picked a movie to put on and handed you your bottle of water.
nodding, you unscrewed the lid and took a sip, “do you have patrol tomorrow?” you asked, not particularly interested in having him leave your side anytime soon.
he sighed, nodding, “supposed to be there from 7 to 1.” he said softly and you whimpered, looking up at him anxiously. you usually went too clingy with him but for whatever reason you always felt super emotional about him leaving you during your period. “let me text sam and jake and see if someone else can do it, yea?” he suggested when he noticed your anxiety and you nodded, sighing softly as you set the water bottle back down and wrapped your arms around his neck so you could rest your head on his shoulder.
after a few moments of peace, your cramps intensified a bit which had you leaning off of seth with a soft whimper, “cramps?” seth asked softly, running his hands down your side to rest at your hips. you nodded, closing your eyes and taking a few deep breaths as you waited for them to calm down a bit.
“can you call sam?” you asked softly, opening your eyes to look at him as your bottom lip warbled, trying not to cry over something as trivial as your boyfriend going to patrol in the morning.
“pretty girl,” seth cooed, his eyes softening when he saw how much you were hurting, “i can call him.” he reassured, “why don’t you lay down and i’ll go call him and get you some tea, yea? that should help with your cramps.” he suggested softly and you nodded, a few stray tears spilling over your waterline.
seth quietly shushed you, gently brushing the stray tears away, “i’ll be right back, okay?” he asked as he grabbed the remote and handed it to you, “why don’t you put something on while i go make some tea for you?” he suggested and you nodded, allowing him to press another kiss to your forehead before he headed into the kitchen.
you quickly settled on a new movie that emily and kim recommended you watch, seth coming back in just a few minutes later with a cup of tea that he set on the side table before getting back under the covers with you, “sam said it’s fine.” he reassured, knowing you’d be asking about him skipping patrol, you smiled softly.
“thank you.” you whispered and he nodded, also giving you a smile.
“anything for my pretty girl.” he cooed, giving you a soft kiss, “what are we watching?” he asked, wrapping his arm around you so his hand could rest on your abdomen, acting as a heating pad of sorts.
you quickly explained that it was some new movie that emily and kim had talked you into and he just laughed, both of you knowing how horrible kim’s recommendation was last time you listened to her.
feeling a bit better and realizing just how late it was, you started to feel sleepy, resting your head on seth’s chest and both of you quickly fell asleep while kim’s horrible movie recommendation played in the background.
#seth clearwater#seth clearwater imagine#seth clearwater blurb#seth clearwater fluff#seth clearwater x reader#twilight#the twilight saga#twilight imagine#sam uley#emily young#jacob black#paul lahote#embry call#quil ateara#jared cameron#emmett cullen#rosalie hale#carlisle cullen#esme cullen#jasper hale#alice cullen#edward cullen#bella cullen#bella swan
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”When you find an unconscious man bearing the mark of the Ravens on his chest washed up on the riverbed, you have to choose between your duties as a healer and your instincts as a woman.”
Pairing: Bandit!Seokjin x Healer!Reader
Genre: Fantasy, s2l!AU, Romance, Smut
Warnings: lots of plot, healing from a traumatic past, wounds & mentions of blood, very mild hatred in the beginning, some bickering which later turns into flirting, so much yearning, virgin!Seokjin, subby!Seokjin, soft dom!Reader, nudity, bondage in some sort, she feeds him while he's sick :'), he is very eager to learn, he is also such a cutie :(, lots of kissing, neck kisses, praises, breast massage, the goodest boy!Jinnie, handjob, fingering, mutual masturbation, they are very needy for each other
Wordcount: 22.4k
a/n: Seriously, the more stories I write about this universe, the harder I fall in love with it. Each time I create a little thing or a new animal or some type of food, I am filled with so much joy. I love this world so much! Also, Seokjin really did it to me :( he is such a sweet man in this story, I wanna protect him :( I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I enjoyed working on it 💚
~ Go to Index ~
You woke up with a strange feeling in your stomach.
Today was going to be a cursed day for you.
The feeling in your stomach has never lied to you before nor was it ever wrong.
Oh how you hated its accuracy, because as you rolled out of bed and hit your toe on the corner of your bed, you knew that it was once again right.
It continued at breakfast when the fire turned out to be hotter than on other days and burned the last of your eggs and meat. You had to eat the last two pieces of slightly dried up bread and when you looked into your jug, you had to realise in horror that Kukuruz - your cat - had drunk the last of your milk while you were sleeping.
“Kukuruz”, you had hissed at him, but he was slumbering peacefully on the window sill, “oh you cursed animal, may you wake up with a belly ache.”
Your bad luck continued as you hung up your laundry and dropped one of the pieces in the wet mud. Oh how you had cursed, because now you had to go down to the river to wash it again. And the curse didn’t stop, it continued on your way to town when your dress got stuck on some thorns and ripped at the seam.
“Oh how I truly hate this day!” you screamed at the skies, lifting your fist and waving it around.
Even in town your curse followed you like an unwanted shadow. Not only did the egg merchant sell the last eggs right before your eyes, but you had also forgotten your gold at home. You had to come to the painful realisation when you had to give up the most delicious looking piece of smoked meat because you couldn’t pay for it.
So you left the market just as empty handed as you had entered it, feeling less and less happy about ever setting foot outside your bed.
“I should have just stayed in bed”, you murmur, “my stomach was never wrong before, fatuous woman why did you not listen?” you grumble, almost running into low branches hadn’t you dodged them in the last moment.
You laugh in disbelief, gawking at them with big eyes.
“Truly, I must be cursed today”, you say and decide to be extra careful on your remaining way home. It wasn’t long anymore. Just past that glade and through the tunnel of conifer trees and your little cottage would be in arm’s reach.
It was your mother’s cottage once and her mother’s before that. It was a little outside of town, a tense conifer forest was separating it from it. But the paths were well walked on and the forest safe, except for the occasional boar and the mean tree fairies, which more often than not, loved growing roots in front of people’s feet to make them stumble and fall. One could hear their laughter in the rustling of the leaves and the creaking of branches. But they were harmless otherwise, they just loved playing tricks.
You didn’t encounter any of the little tricksters today. It truly surprised you. Out of all the days, you expected them today the most. They must be busy getting the trees ready for winter. While the tree fairies on foliage trees went to sleep together with their mothers, the tree fairies on conifer trees worked hard during the colder months to help their mothers keep their green dresses. Only now and then one of them found time in their busy day to play a quick trick on some humans, which made the entire forest rustle and croak in laughter if the trick was successful. And somehow it seemed that on such days the forest looked greener the next day, as if the fairies needed a good laugh to find more energy again.
You leave the tense canopy of spruce branches behind you, stepping onto the glade of your cottage. It was a spacious meadow, allowing the sun to shine on the ground and for a variety of plants to grow. The Singing River, which was just a hundred steps down the shallow slope, offered plenty of the clearest water. Your meadow never had to suffer from drought. It was truly a blessing. Especially as a healer, who depended heavily on the health of her many healing plants and herbs.
The air smells different here. Sweet and herbal from all the plants you were growing in the warmer months. The scent lingered even in winter as if it had already become part of the land. Perhaps it liked staying here with you and the warm sun.
“Finally”, you say and quicken your steps. Not long anymore and you are finally in the safety of your own home again. Nothing can go wrong now.
You hurry up the stairs.
Crack.
You stop and take a step back.
A ring. Golden with a silver gemstone in the middle.
“What is that?”
You bend down to pick it up and inspect it. You bite it first. It doesn’t bend under your teeth, which means that it was real.
“Where did this come from?” you murmur, looking left and right to see if you can spot a person.
You can’t. Your glade is empty.
“Huh.”
You look back at the ring. You have seen rings like such before. As the best healer in the Night Queendom you often find yourself in the Queen’s castle. You sometimes see rings like that on Her fingers.
“How did you come here?” you ask it, “did a bird drop you?”
You look up at the sky. There was no bird to spot.
“Or did magic bring you to me?”
But you would have sensed if someone tried to use magic on your land.
“Perhaps you were sent to me by the universe to break my curse?”
You slip it on your finger and then turn.
You will sell it in town and then use the money to buy the delicious smoked meat and another jug of milk.
You return successful from the market. Your basket is filled with the smoked meat and a big jug of milk and even the egg merchant had a small box of eggs back in stock. You bought all them and even treated yourself to a delicious apple. It was the last of the farmer’s successful crop, sweet with a hint of sour in its taste. Exactly how you enjoyed your apples.
The ring must have broken your curse, so you thought as you walked back home with a happy skip in your steps.
“Good morning, Kukuruz”, you greet your cat, who had woken by now and is now circling your legs as you hurry through the cottage, “have you eaten yet?”
Mreow.
“No?” you bend down and pick him up.
Kukuruz rests gladly in your arm, watching you unload your basket. His tiny legs are pulled to his body, his soft tummy is exposed and his long tail is wiggling left and right contently.
“I know you drank my milk last night.”
Mreow.
“No no, don’t blame this on the fairies. This was your doing. I found your fur on the jug.”
Meow.
“As I thought. But worry not Kukuruz, I forgive you. The most peculiar thing happened to me. I found a golden ring on our porch and you won’t believe how much it was worth.”
You pull two big bags of gold free.
“Look! This will last us till summer!” you exclaim excitedly, "and I can still save some for the bathing tub!"
But Kukuruz seemed more interested in the smoked meat, beginning to wiggle in your arms.
“By Frenya, you are such a gluttonous cat”, you murmur, setting him down, “go to your bowl, I will cut some meat for you.”
The black cat struts off with a certain bounce in his steps. He sits down in front of his bowl and meows loudly, watching you with his tail moving back and forth on the floor and his emerald eyes widened in curiosity.
You cut a piece for yourself, nibbling on it as you fill his bowl with food.
“There we go”, you tell him and pet his head, “enjoy.”
Kukuruz thanks you with a purr and begins eating deliciously.
“Very well”, you stand up, “I am outside, getting the laundry and then some water from the river. Don’t you dare stick your head into my milk or else I will turn you into a bug.”
Mreow.
"I heard that."
With your basket resting on your left hip, you hurry outside and down the three steps which separate your porch from the grass. Your clothesline was located right next to your cottage. On the wooden posts rambler roses were climbing into the skies and behind the line, a spacious bed of different mints was located. The mints liked the climate there. Slight shade and enough space to spread. It always smelled nicely here. That is why you decided to put your clothing line on this spot of land. You believe that the scent of mint will soak your fabrics and make them smell nicer for longer.
You stop and gawk at your clothing line.
“By Frenya”, you murmur.
Your clothes are gone. Except for two dresses and one kitchen towel, the clothing lines are empty.
“Thieves!” you yell, twisting and turning with your eyes burning in anger, “who took my clothes?!”
Oh you are furious! This is outrageous! Who dared to come to your cottage only to steal your clothes? Oh, if you would catch them, they would flee in fear.
“May the Morguls eat your toes while you are sleeping!” you scream, hoping they can hear you.
Now, the clothes weren’t your favourites, thank Frenya. But there were useful and sturdy and they kept your legs warm in the colder months. You rip your remaining clothes from the lines and throw them into your basket.
“Truly, I don’t wish bad on people, but oh may they find snails in their food”, you murmur, punching the small heap of clothes, “this day is cursed! I hate this!”
With your face contorted in a frown, you stomp back to your cottage. You basically kick in your door, startling Kukuruz, who has caught some sun rays on the windowsill just before.
“You won’t believe what happened to me!” you tell him loudly and drop the basket on the floor, “someone took my clothes! I am cursed, truly cursed.”
The black cat tilts his head to the side and licks over his nose.
“I know Kukuruz, that is what I said too. May the Morguls eat their toes”, you growl and huff out air.
You cross your arms in front of your chest and sit down on your wooden stool.
“How could this happen? Why would someone come here just to steal from me?” you ask no one in particular.
Kukuruz struts to the kitchen counter and sits down in front of the two bags of gold.
Mreow.
You look at him and the gold.
“You are a genius!” you exclaim, “they must have been the one putting the ring on my porch!”
Mreow.
“I know, it is peculiar. Why would they take my clothes only to then leave something so expensive behind?”
Mreow.
“You truly think so? You think that they paid for the clothes with the ring?”
Kukuruz stands up and struts back to the window sill. He lies down, rolling himself into a tiny ball of black fur.
Mreow.
“Truly, you are a genius Kukuruz. They must have been travellers, who were dressed too coldly and when they realised that I wasn’t home to offer them a pair of pants, they took them from my clothing line and paid with their ring.”
Mreow.
“Oh Kukuruz you helped me feel better, truly. What would I do without you?”
Mreow.
You laugh, “oh now you are just being cocky”, you say in a fond chuckle and stand up. You grab your bucket, “I will be by the river fetching water.”
The Singing River is calm where you live. It is just two valleys and a forest away from where it starts in the Snowy Mountains. It hasn’t reached its true width and anger yet. The riverbeds were around five big steps apart and the water was clear and calm, reaching you just below you ribs. It was freezing in the colder months but was warm enough to bathe comfortably in, during the warmer months. It also offered many different kinds of wildlife to eat and even more different kinds of plants to use for potions.
You made your own little crook in the riverbed. You had dug out the earth so the water would reach you in a gentle slope and you could enter the river comfortably. You use it to wash your clothes and fetch water and also for bathing.
You slow down your steps.
It looks different today. Someone is resting on it. He seems to be sleeping in the sun.
You squint your eyes.
“Huh”, you gasp, widening your eyes and quickening your steps.
He wasn’t sleeping! His clothes were clearly soaked in water and his left leg was leaking blood. It had formed a little puddle by now.
“Good Sir!” you call out, “good Sir, are you alright?”
The man doesn’t answer you, he doesn’t even move.
You drop your bucket and squat down beside him. His hair was as black as the feathers of ravens and his face was pale in cold, his lips blue and purple.
“Oh dear, oh dear”, you touch the side of his neck.
His skin was icy. His pulse was barely there.
“What happened to you?” you murmur, turning your attention to the wound on his leg.
Teeth must have dug themselves into his flesh. His black pants were ripped where the animal bit him, showing torn skin and muscle.
“Oh that is a truly nasty wound you have here”, you murmur.
You rip a piece of your dress off. The thorns had already ruined it either way. You bind his thigh right above the wound tightly enough to stop the bleeding.
The man hisses in his unconsciousness and moves his head.
“I must get you out of this cold”, you decide and sneak a glance at your cottage, “oh this is going to be a long way.”
You grab the man under his armpits tightly and begin dragging him up the hill.
“You are so heavy, by Frenya”, you grunt, “couldn’t the river have washed up someone less muscular?”
At one point you accidentally dropped the poor man, making him groan. You picked him up in an instant and apologized quietly.
“If you would only work with me a little.”
Dragging him up your stairs was the part most difficult. You didn’t want to hurt him and yet with every step, you dragged his limp legs up the pumpy stairs, the man let out a quiet hiss of discomfort.
“Forgive me, oh forgive me”, you murmured each time, flinching with him.
The truest struggle of them all however, was when you tried to lift him on top of your bed.
You had two beds in your cottage. One for your patients and one in the backroom for you to sleep in. The bed for your patients wasn’t quite as high as your private bed, but despite that advantage, lifting his heavy body was no easy task.
You feel out of breath once you had managed to lift him, finding support on the foot end of the bed by leaning against it.
“Truly”, you huff out air, “you are one heavy fella.”
You take one last deep breath, then clap into your hand.
“Now, enough whining. Let’s get you out of your clothes.”
You have undressed countless people in your long career as a healer. Women, men, children, even non human creatures. They were all just living beings to you, needing your help and care. You saw nothing peculiar in it and they saw nothing peculiar in being undressed.
Today however undressing your patient turns out to be more than peculiar. You started with his pants, working slowly and beyond carefully in order not to hurt his wound. The ruined pants you threw into a bucket. You will dry them and stitch them back up later. It wasn’t peculiar until then, it started when you began taking off his upper body clothing. The ripped fur slipped off his shoulders easily, soaking your floors once you had discarded it. His black tunic opened easily.
“By Frenya!” you exclaim.
That was the moment the peculiar started.
A black raven tattoo was burned into his chest. He was one of them. A Raven of the Black Forest, the group of men who had sworn to kill every woman they come across. Your aunt fell victim to them and two girls from your village as well. All three of them were mutilated and abused by those gruesome men.
You swore to never help such monsters and that if you ever had the chance to annihilate every single one of them, you would take it. And now one of them is resting in your bed, unconscious, wounded and unable to fight back.
You act quickly. You run to your dresser and grab the knife, which you usually use for collecting plants and branches. You have it pressed against the man’s throat within seconds, twisting his hair between your fingers.
“I will kill you monster”, you spit, tilting his head up. It makes the blade glide over his skin, forcing it to break at one spot and leak one droplet of blood.
The man groans at the feeling, opening and closing his lips.
You falter.
The sound was filled with pain. The kind of pain you have heard from so many of your patients. It was a sound a person would make. It was a human sound.
You loosen the grip around his hair.
The monster made a human sound.
You study his features. Pale and relaxed. He had a forehead like everyone else, he had a nose like everyone else, he had eyes like everyone else, a mouth and cheeks and brows as well. He looked like a human.
Your fingers slip from his hair.
“What am I doing here?” you ask yourself, “I consider killing a living creature when I swore to heal them. Have I lost my mind?”
The knife slips from your fingers, landing on the floor with a dull sound. It landed directly on the person’s fur, which muffled the otherwise shrill sound.
“By Frenya, I almost killed a person”, you murmur, touching your own cheeks, “I, I must remember my duties. I am no killer, I am a healer. I save people, not end their life. If he turns out to be a monster I can still kill him. Yes? I won’t regret this, will I?”
You sleep restlessly that night, waking with every little sound the earth makes and thinking that it was the stranger coming to kill you. You know it was impossible as you made sure that even if he woke when you were asleep, he wouldn’t be able to hurt you.
You had to tie down countless people in your time as a healer. People tend to wiggle quite a great deal when they are being operated on, so one needs to know strong and secure knots in order to hold them down and minimise the chances of hurting them accidentally.
But despite that security, you wake up with heavy eyes and weak limbs the next morning. The sun was already shining and by your feet Kukuruz was licking your big toe.
“Good morning”, you greet him with your voice hoarse in exhaustion.
Mreow.
“I’m glad you did, I slept terribly”, you say and yawn, “the stranger kept me awake.”
Mreow.
You smile tiredly, “that makes me feel better. Thank you for taking watch.”
Mreow.
“Tzt. You ruined it again. Fine, I am already getting up to prepare your breakfast. By Frenya, you are such a gluttonous cat.”
Kukuruz follows you, circling your legs and rubbing his head against your calves every now and then with a deep purr vibrating in his chest.
You sneak a glance at the stranger as you pass by him. He was still sleeping, having turned his head to the other side. His lips are parted, they don’t seem so blue anymore. As a matter of fact, they have gained a pinkish glow to them.
His skin also feels warm to the touch when you check and his pulse has sped up considerably from last night.
These are all good signs. It means that your treatment helped.
“Stay, I’ll be back with medicine after making breakfast for my greedy cat”, you tell him, poking his cheek rather harshly.
It makes him roll his head to the other side and then sigh in his sleep.
Once Kukuruz was taken care of and you have prepared your own breakfast, you return to your patient. He was still sleeping, resting in the same position you left him in.
You sit down on the chair and relax back, biting into your bread with smoked meat and egg.
“You know, you are lucky that I am such a good-hearted person”, you tell him with your mouth stuffed, “other people would have left you by the riverbed.”
The man shows no signs that he heard you, sleeping soundly.
You take a sip of your warm milk and take another bite of your food afterwards.
“I wonder what happened to you. Did you fight Woltron?”
You slurp loudly and swallow the contents of your mouth happily.
“Doesn’t matter”, you say and relax with a content sigh, “I have my breakfast and that is all that matters.”
He shifts then.
You freeze up in an instant, staring at him without chewing your food.
"What are you doing? Don’t move", you tell him.
He shifts again, groaning softly.
“Oh dear, are you waking up?” you ask him.
He rolls his head into a position so that it would rest on the back of it.
You reach for the knife hastily, pointing it at the stranger with shaking hands.
His eyes open slowly, blinking heavily to get used to the light.
“Mhm”, he lets out and closes them again. He tries to roll to his side afterwards, but the ropes holding his arms down prevent it from happening.
He opens his eyes quickly, lifting his head.
“What the?” he presses out and tugs on the ropes, “what in heaven's name is going on here?”
His eyes land on you.
“Who are you?” he asks, eyes flitting to the knife, “did you tie me up?”
“Don’t move!” you warn him, waving the knife around.
He dodges it skilfully, “what are you doing?”
“You, you, y-you are a Raven, aren’t you?” you ask him, extending your arm.
He eyes the knife before he snorts.
“What are you trying to do here? Cut me open? What that grip?”
You look at the way your fingers grasp the knife. It looks slightly clumsy.
“Excuse me?” you drop your arm, “I am very capable of holding a knife.”
“Of course”, he says and begins tugging on the ropes again.
You lift the knife again, hating your arm for shaking so much.
“Don’t move.”
“Well, can you untie me first? Or tell me your name and why you have me tied up in the first place?”
“I found you by the riverbed. You were unconscious and your left leg was chewed on, so I dragged you here and took care of your wound.”
He looks down at his covered legs and scoffs.
“Fuck”, he lets out, dropping his head into the pillows, “I remember falling into the river after being ambushed by a wolf.”
“Yes, Woltron. He doesn’t like Ravens.”
“It wasn’t Woltron, it was a normal wolf. Small, agile and way too fast to escape from”, he says and tugs on the ropes again.
It makes you grip your knife tighter and lift it again. He eyes it.
“What? Are you truly planning on killing me after saving me? Why go through all the trouble then?”
“You, y-you don’t know me. P-perhaps I am a dangerous witch, w-who likes eating men alive.”
He blinks rapidly before breaking into laughter.
“Don’t laugh”, you hiss.
He laughs louder, it sounds way more high-pitched than you had imagined it would, perhaps even a little squeaky.
“Oh forgive me”, he says and laughs, “but you are no witch, you are fooling no one here.”
“Tzt”, you click your tongue, “you are rude.”
“I am not the one who tied you up.”
“Well, accept it”, you say and cross your arms in front of your chest, “this is to make sure you don’t escape before your wound is healed.”
“Of course and it is not because you are scared of me.”
“You-“ you lift the knife again, pressing the tip into his cheek, “-I will poke you in the eye if you keep up this attitude.”
He eyes the knife before looking at your face. He scoffs in amusement.
“I am already quiet”, he says and chuckles.
“Tzt”, you click your tongue, pulling the knife away and discarding it on the dresser. Then you continue eating your bread, sending dark looks the stranger’s way.
He seems mesmerised by the food, gawking at it with his tongue licking over his lips repeatedly.
“What?” you challenge him.
“Give me some”, he orders.
“That?” you show him the food, guiding it to his lips.
He lifts his head, opening his mouth in preparation.
“Why should I?” you say, pulling the food away again, “I don’t want to share with murderers.”
He grunts, closing his mouth to frown instead.
“So why safe me? Just to torture me with starvation and your terrible knife skills?”
“Ha!” you exclaim and laugh.
“Stop laughing and give me food”, he spits.
“And why should I?”
“Because I haven’t eaten in days and it hurts.”
You give him an icy glare. Keeping your patients alive is one of your duties and that means cooking meals for them and making sure they are well fed and hydrated. Oh, how you are cursing the oath you swore.
“By Frenya, I should have never rescued you”, you murmur, standing up from your chair groggily, “what do you want?”
“Just anything.”
You prepare a hearty porridge for him, adding some of the smoked meat and an onion from your garden in it. Kukuruz watched you as you cooked, but didn’t move as the sunrays hit his back most perfectly in his resting position.
You also prepare a jug of water for him as he must be terribly parched.
You bring the meal to him on a wooden tray, carrying tubes of medicine as well.
He had been resting his eyes, but opened them when he heard you come back. Now he is watching you, eyes glued to the tray in your hands.
“What did you get? Is it good? Can I have some?” he stresses, tugging at the ropes in an attempt to sit up.
“By Frenya, you are just as gluttonous as my cat”, you murmur, setting the tray down on the chair.
He eyes it hungrily, mouth watering to the point that he has to gulp.
“Here, open up”, you say, guiding the filled spoon to his lips.
He opens his mouth gladly, almost swallowing the entire spoon just from how greedily he eats. You watch him with your nose scrunched up in disgust. Of course, a Raven has no table manners whatsoever. You didn’t expect anything else.
He chews and hums, nodding his head.
“Very good”, he says, opening his mouth afterwards so you could feed him more.
You do so not because you want to, but because it was your duty to do so.
“How did you get into this situation in the first place? Aren’t you Ravens supposed to be great fighters?”
He shrugs his shoulders, waiting for a new bite with his eyes glued to the spoon. It is remarkable how happily he allows you to feed him.
"Well then I'm not surprised that a simple wolf won over you", you murmur, basking in the dark look he sends your way. It is a small victory in your fight against the Ravens. To see one look offended by you feels great.
The stranger swallows his food and speaks.
"It only won because I was weakened by running for long."
"So you were running. Where to? Where from?"
The stranger merely takes a bite and eats with his dark eyes glued to your equally dark eyes.
"I bet you were out hurting innocent women and girls."
"I wasn’t. I ran from.." he hesitates, then shakes his head, "...give me more food and maybe then I'll talk."
“By Frenya, you truly are like my cat.”
The stranger closes his lips around the spoon and slurps up the porridge hungrily. He chews it and swallows, opening his mouth again. And so you feed him another bite, making sure that you don’t drip any of it on his chest. That would surely burn and wouldn’t make a good impression of you as a healer.
“So where are you coming from? The Black Forest? Did a monster chase you?”
He shakes his head.
“Truly? Aren’t you Ravens supposed to live in it?”
He swallows the food down.
“And that means that we can’t find ourselves in other places as well?”
“I never stated this”, you say, muffling him by sticking another spoonful of porridge into his mouth.
He makes a sound of surprise, sending you a furious glare. It leaves you unaffected. You may not be able to kill him, but that doesn’t mean that you will be gentle with the way you are feeding him.
You are gentle when you feed him the water, solely for the reason that you do not want to change his sheets in case you spilled some of the liquid. He drinks it greedily, doing so with his eyes closed and his brows furrowed.
“You must be careful, you will choke. Careful”, you warn him, supporting his head.
He grunts, swallowing greedily. He swallows and swallows until suddenly he gasps and coughs.
“See?” you say, hitting his upper back to help him, “I told you that your greed will be your downfall.”
He sends you a glare, one return all too willingly. He coughs one last time then parts his lips again, eyeing the cup greedily. You place it against his lips, watching him drink the water with your fingers buried deep in his hair.
The stranger finishes the entire cup, allowing you to lay his head down on the pillow once done. He watches you carry the dirty dishes to your work counter.
"Are you finally ready to answer my question?" you ask him, standing by the counter.
"Are you finally ready to untie my arms?"
"No."
"Then I'm not ready either."
"Tch."
You turn, walking back to the bed. You sit down on the chair, letting your eyes run up and down his body for long enough that the stranger shifts uncomfortably.
“What are you going to do to me now?” he asks, trying and failing to hide the nervousness in his voice.
“I have to take a look at your wound. It is most crucial that I do.”
“And I have to be tied down for that?”
You reach for the tray of medicine and scoot closer, keeping your eyes locked on him.
“Yes”, you state matter-of-factly.
The stranger scoffs.
“So I can’t flee when you poison me?”
“Oh by Frenya, you said so yourself. Why go through the effort of saving you just to end up killing you?”
The stranger swallows what he had wanted to say, clicking his tongue in distaste. You send him a triumphant grin, then reach for the blanket. You pull it off his legs halfway, making sure that his precious parts are covered.
“You undressed me?” he gasps.
“Yes, your clothes were wet and had many holes. Besides, I had to get to your wound.”
“How dare you? I gave you no permission to do such things.”
“Oh forgive me that I couldn’t get my answer when you were knocked out cold.”
“Tzt.”
“But worry not, you are not the first I see. It is actually quite common to see people in their bared state in my field of work.”
“Who are you?”
“I am me”, you tease, sending him an amused grin.
He rolls his eyes but gasps when he feels your fingers on his thigh.
"Careful.”
“Worry not, I am very careful”, you tell him, inspecting the stitches, “you got lucky you were unconscious last night. Your wound is pretty deep, so I had to stitch it up.”
“Yes, the wolf bit me quite deep.”
“It did. It even got a little chunk of you. That must have been a good treat for him”, you joke and to your surprise he actually chuckles.
You and him exchange a quick look before you return to cleaning the stitches. That felt awkward. You never intended to make a Raven laugh.
“I fixed it for you. You got lucky you fell into the river. The cold water helped the blood vessels close up. I just had to clean it and stitch it back up.”
You wring out the cloth and press it against his skin, cleaning it off most tentatively.
“How do you know so much?” he asks.
“I’m a healer.”
“I have never met a healer before, at least not a woman.”
“Truly? You have met male healers?” you have to chuckle, “this is most remarkable, given how people don’t trust men to be able to handle such an important profession.”
“Well, this is nothing but sexism. We can be great healers too.”
“Now, now I never said that I believe in what the people say. I am sure you men have the talent for it.”
“Yes, we do. We have many talents and potential.”
“Of course, I believe you.”
“Don’t mock me”, he hisses, furrowing his brows.
“Please don’t think I did. I was being truthful”, you give him a smile, “my cousin works as a healer in the Nourishing Fields. He is a very talented healer.”
“Oh”, the stranger says and relaxes his features. Not for long as a sharp burn runs through his leg a second later. He groans and frowns.
“I know it burns”, you tell him, watching him tense up, “but it is supposed to feel that way. It is the magic which has this effect. It is quite the effective healing potion.”
“So you are a witch?”
“In a way I am, but I am most definitely not the type of witch you Ravens believe women to be.”
“Tzt.”
You give him a grin, then turn your attention to the healing potion. It was green in colour, gaining an emerald glow once you spread it on the wound. The stranger gasps and tenses his thigh.
“Are you sure that this is safe?”
“Yes of course it is. Trust me, I am very skilled in potion making.”
“Why aren’t you using your magic to heal me? Why use potions?”
“Well, you see. My magic works differently. I can use it to detect wounds and illnesses and I can infuse my potions with it, but it doesn’t really work with mending torn flesh or fixing broken bones. I can help nature, but I sadly can’t bend it.”
“But there are healers who can do such things, I have seen it be done.”
“Yes, of course there are such healers. The Menders, but they are quite the show-offs if you asked me”, you say, giving him a small smile.
He chuckles again. It is a nice chuckle. As much as it pains you to admit it, it is a nice chuckle.
“Yes, I know. We have a Mender in our circles and he is such a show-off", he says.
You laugh, “I see we are sharing a common nuisance.”
“Yes, we do.”
You exchange a smile. It was honest on both sides.
“I’m ___”, you tell him.
“My name is Seokjin”, he answers you.
“Nice to meet you Seokjin. You are actually quite decent for a Raven.”
“Thank you. You are quite decent for a woman too", he jokes.
He makes you chuckle.
“Now lift your leg, I have to wrap it up so the potion doesn’t rub off.”
He follows and watches you work. You tighten the white bandages with a skilled knot, smoothing over his thigh once done.
“How is that? Is it too tight?”
“No, it feels comfortable.”
“Well then, relax. Your clothes should be dried by now”, you tell him and stand up to leave.
Your cottage is surprisingly spacious. You have your work room in the front. It is the room you come in first when you enter. It houses a patient bed, shelves for your many books and potions, a working table and your kitchen, which has a wonderful view out on the meadow and the Singing River. To the left are your living quarters. One room, which houses your bed and more shelves for more of your books. It also houses a big fireplace, which is currently crackling and warming the cottage. It also dries the Raven Seokjin’s clothes and one of your tunics, which you will use later for sleeping. Your buttery was just left of the fireplace through a wooden door. To the right, just past the fireplace a doorway leads to a small washing room. It was not big and most definitely not luxurious, but it housed a washing bowl and a toilet seat. Which was most convenient in winter as you didn’t have to leave the warmth of your cottage to do your business. You are also currently saving up for a bathtub. You dreamt of having one after visiting the Queen to sell Her some of your sleep inducing bathing oils. You snuck a glimpse at her bathing tub then and decided to save up for your own. It will still take some time, but you are patient.
“You are lucky. Your clothes have dried over night”, you tell Seokjin as you return.
He lifts his head, propping himself up on his elbows.
“I stitched the holes in them, so you don’t have to worry about feeling the wind on your skin.”
You place the clothes on top of his stomach. He eyes them.
“Tell me, how should I put them on when my hands are still tied?” he asks, lifting them as high as the ropes allow him to.
“Oh yes, I completely forgot.”
Once your knife was grabbed, you loosen the knots, taking a cautious step back and pointing the knife at him. He eyes it and scoffs in amusement.
“I see that I am still at knife point here.”
“I’m just making sure. I don’t let a pretty face and comfortable conversation trick me.”
“Yes indeed, I am quite handsome”, he agrees and sits up.
You try not to laugh, but the corners of your mouth still curl upwards. He isn’t lying. He is very handsome. His torso carried strength and muscles, his shoulders were broad and perfectly defined. His legs were long and perfectly proportionate to the rest of his body. You also think that his thighs look very tempting, especially in those tight linen pants of his'. He pulls the tunic over his head, messing up his raven hair. It was longer in the back, framing his face in a way that draws your eyes to it. He had a handsome face. His eyes were dark in colour and fit perfectly on his head, his nose was straight, guiding your eyes down to his lips. Plumb and pink, they were chapped from the winter winds, but looked better than last night after you put some moisturizing oils on them.
“So why are you here?” you ask him, watching him fix how the shirt sits on his torso.
“I escaped the Queen’s castle.”
“What?” you gasp. He is a fugitive. You are housing a criminal. Quick. You need to act quick. You grab your knife harder and point it at him.
“Not that bad grip again”, he says, sounding amusedly exhausted.
“Hands behind your back!” you tell him loudly, “I shall bring you back to Her, criminal!”
Seokjin lifts his hands and smiles.
“I am no criminal, I did what had to be done.”
Everything falls into place now.
“You killed the Queen?” you squeak out, “that is why you ran? Because you killed Her?”
“What?” he laughs loudly, throwing his head back.
“Don’t laugh, murderer”, you hiss, stepping closer to poke his stomach with the knife.
But Seokjin is quicker, grabbing your wrists and using your strength against you. He makes you drop the knife and twirls you.
“Eek”, you squeak, falling.
He catches you before you can fall on your butt, now having your body cradled in his arms and tilted back slightly.
“I told you”, he whispers, letting his breath swirls over your lips, “you have terrible knife skills.”
By Frenya, your heart fluttered.
“And just so you know, I didn’t kill the Queen. I escaped because I didn’t want to live under yet another ruler”, he says, letting his eyes flit to your lips for just a second.
“Well I”, you feel your heart flutter again and your eyes flit to his lips as well. By Frenya, they look so tempting up-close. Pink and so incredibly pillowy.
Seokjin tilts his head, moving closer.
“I hah”, you let out, turning your head away, “let go of me.”
Seokjin sighs in disappointment and helps you straighten up. He steps back, but not after allowing his hand to linger on your lower back for just a second too long.
You fix your collar, clearing your throat.
“You!” you exclaim, scurrying to retrieve the knife. "You!", you point the knife at him, “you rascal! How dare you!” you call out dramatically, trying to cover up just how flustered he has gotten you.
Seokjin snickers, lifting his arms above his head.
“You are funny”, he says, earning himself a slight poke into the chest.
“You are such rude man. You will sit on the bed now and behave”, you warn, poking him again.
“Ah okay, okay I am already sitting”, he says, “dear heavens, the woman really poked me with a knife”, he mumbles to himself, rubbing the spot you touched.
Seokjin studies your figure.
“And now?” he asks, sitting on the bed dressed and with his eyes fixated on the knife.
“Now I want you to put your hands on your lap.”
He follows. You inch closer to him, pressing the knife against his throat once close enough.
“Don’t move or else I’ll cut you”, you warn.
He smirks, “I won’t move.”
“Good”, you say, squatting down in front of him.
You place the knife on your lap and snatch some spare ropes, wrapping them around his wrists quickly. You know the knots by memory, so working quickly doesn’t mean that you don’t work diligently. Just seconds later, his wrists are bound in a way that allows them no movement. You pick up your knife again, locking eyes with him.
“So now I’m your prisoner?”
“Yes, until I figure out what to do with you.”
“What if I have to go to the loo?”
“Then you can be creative. I’m sure you have lots of practice in holding your cock.”
He laughs, “and why should I?”
“Because I know you Ravens don’t have women. How else should you find your release?”
“We”, he blinks in confusion, “touching ourselves is forbidden. It lets the demons inside.”
“By Frenya”, you murmur, “Rafkan is one crazy fella, isn’t he?”
Seokjin furrows his brows, “well, it doesn’t?”
“Of course not”, you say and chuckle, “hell, if you asked me, it actually helps with your demons. You know? One stressful day, a quick”, you mimic jerking off, “and you are good to go again.”
His face is ruby instantly, the colour even spreads to his ears.
“No!” he exclaims, widening his eyes, “no, I would never”, he insists, having to lower his head in coyness.
It is quite adorable how easily he flustered. You chuckle and stand up, giving his head a soft pat.
“Either way, you should rest some more, the cold gave your body quite the hard time. It is best if you sleep it off before a fever takes hold of you.”
“What will you do?”
“I have patients to care for, worry not I will still keep an eye on you”, you say and just seconds later a knock on your door lets you know that your first patient had just arrived.
It has been a week since you found Seokjin washed up by the riverbed. He is still with you, having gained the privilege of free limbs under the condition that he will help you keep the cottage clean. He accepted because his leg still needed to heal and he also didn’t want to stay in the cold outside. So he agreed on being your servant for the time being, preparing food when you are busy and keeping the work counters clean for your next patient.
He is actually quite the remarkable servant. Hardworking too. And most definitely handsome. Oh dear, here you are again staring at his face when he doesn’t notice. You break your eyes away from him, looking at the books you had read through before.
“Seokjin”, you call his attention.
“Yes?” he asks, limping to you.
“Would you mind bringing me the bottles of ghostworth please?”
“Ghostworth? How do they look?”
“The translucent ones. Worry not, it’s labelled.”
You hear him limb to your herbs cabinet and come to a standstill. Silence. More silence. Even more silence.
You turn to check on him. He is looking at the cabinet, fumbling with the bottles while mumbling something to himself.
“Seokjin?”
“I almost got it”, he says and whispers to himself again, squinting his eyes.
You stand up and close the distance between you and him.
“I got it”, he says, moving closer to the shelf.
“It’s here”, you say, pointing at the bottle at which he is staring, “ghostworth, it reads right there.”
“Yes! Exactly”, he takes out of the shelf, “I was just about to grab it.”
He hands it to you with his ears and cheeks burning up. Oh this is peculiar. You ought to investigate.
“Seokjin, what does this bottle read?” you ask him, pointing at the random bottle on the shelf.
He looks at it, squinting his eyes. Panic washes over his features.
“Basil”, he says.
“Mint”, you answer him, furrowing your brows.
He seems disappointed, sagging his shoulders.
“You can’t read, can you?”
With his eyes lowers he turns to you, shaking his head.
“Oh dear, oh dear.”
“Don’t mock me”, he hisses, feeling embarrassed.
“I’m not”, you assure him then give him a smile, “do you want me to teach you?”
“You would do that?”
“Yes of course, come follow me. I will teach you.”
Seokjin follows gladly, sitting down next to you with a quill and some paper ready. Oh, his eyes sparkle oh so much, his cheeks are glowing oh so much. You find it almost adorable just how eager he seems to learn the art of interpreting letters.
And so you spent the rest of your day teaching Seokjin the letters of your language, explaining to him how he can put them on paper and how to form them into words. Seokjin works diligently, scribbling the messiest letters at first before gaining great perfection in them. By the end of the day, he can even write his own name. He is currently trying to write down yours, sitting next to you at the work table.
“Look ___”, he calls your attention away from the medicine you were working on.
You turn and look at the letter covered sheet of paper. He points at your name he wrote in squiggly letters.
“This is your name.”
“Indeed it is.”
“Do you think it looks good?”
“Yes, indeed. You have a great talent for connecting the letters”, you say, making him beam in pride, “practice some more and you will be fluent in no time.”
“I will. I will practice all night”, he says excitedly and turns to his task again. With his tongue sticking out at the corner of his mouth and his brows furrowed, he practices his letters while you prepare the medicine and later cook dinner. Even during dinner he has one eye on the letters constantly, reading them over and over so he wouldn’t forget them again.
"Do you enjoy this?" you ask him over the brim of your soup bowl.
"I do", he says, nodding his head vigorously, "I can't believe how easy this is."
You study his features.
"Can I ask. Can none of you read?"
"None of us?"
"Ravens. Do you never learn how to read?"
Seokjin shakes his head, "only Rafkan knows how to read. He says that it was a burden from his past and that he doesn’t want us to succumb to the horrors reading brings."
"Well, that sounds like horseshit", you scowl in distaste, "no wonder he is able to fill your heads with such lies when you poor boys can’t even read the real history of this queendom."
Seokjin lets out a breathy laugh, blinking his eyes in disbelief.
"I don't", he begins, but doesn’t find the right words to continue.
You sense his discomfort and give him a reassuring smile.
"You should eat the soup and practice more. I promise that you will find no horrors because of reading."
Seokjin nods his head, looking back into his papers.
"I want to read", he whispers more to himself than to you, "I really want to read."
It is deep into the night and you have just returned from the washing room. Seokjin’s sleeping place by the fireplace is still empty. By this time he would already be under his blanket with his head resting on his many pillows and Kukuruz slumbering by his head. Tonight however, only Kukuruz was occupying the fur.
“Seokjin?” you call out.
He should be here by now, slumbering peacefully.
“Are you still practicing?” you ask, entering your work room just to realise that Seokjin had fallen asleep by the desk. His cheek is squished against the surface, his lips are parted in calm breaths, the quill is still between his fingers.
You smile.
“Seokjin dear, wake up”, you tell him, shaking him softly.
He wakes with a gasp, flinching harshly. His head snaps up, revealing his ink covered cheek. He blinks his eyes at you sleepily.
“You shouldn’t sleep here, it will hurt your back. Come to bed.”
“I fell asleep”, he murmurs, letting you pull him to his feet in his sleep-drunken state. He stumbles after you, barely keeping his head up right.
“I know, it’s from all the practicing you've been doing. Now lie down, get comfortable.”
Seokjin allows you to tug him in and fluff up his pillow so his head would be comfortable. You reach out and wipe the ink of his cheek. It makes him blink at you sleepily and for his lips to curl into a tiny, almost content, smile.
“Sleep now”, you tell him softly.
“Thank you ___, I always wanted to be able to read”, he whispers, eyes reflecting the sparkles of the fire.
“And I’m sure you will be great at it in a few days.”
"Thank you so much…"
Seokjin closes his eyes and smiles. He falls asleep that way. Smiling.
Seokjin practices diligently the next day. You give him one of your easier books so he could copy words out of it and by the time the sun had passed its zenith, he already knew how to read a small passage of text. Now, you believe that he merely remembered the sounds of it after hours and hours of practice, but it was still impressive.
“___ please listen to that”, he calls your attention.
You have just said goodbye to a patient, now turning around to look at him.
“I am listening.”
Seokjin takes a deep breath.
“The mulberry fruit is sim…iliar in length and in…width than a thumb”, he speaks slowly, creasing his forehead in concentration. Then he lifts his head, looking at you with widened eyes, “I read that.”
“I heard”, you have to smile at him for you found him beyond adorable, “that was very good. You are a diligent student.”
He begins blushing, “thank you”, he says, barely containing his excitement, but managing to by hiding his mouth behind his hand.
The moment would have continued to be beautiful, hadn’t the door sprung open loudly and startled the both of you.
“Healer ___! Oh healer! Please, I am begging you, we need you!” a man, you know his name to be Yorm, screams.
His wife, Yelana was her name, was beside him. Her dress was covered in blood.
“What happened?” you are on high alert instantly, looking at their little daughter lying unconscious in her father’s arm.
“The Ravens! It was the Ravens! They ambushed our little Yela when she was playing in the forest! She is barely breathing and bleeding! Bleeding out of her stomach!”
“Put her down. Quick, be careful. Seokjin make space. We need the space.”
Seokjin stumbles to the side, clutching his little book while watching in horror as the crying parents have to lie down their little daughter. The blood has soaked through her dress, spilled all over her father’s tunic. She is barely breathing, looking to be in great pain.
You work quickly, diligently, carefully. Her dress you open, revealing the clashing wound on the side of her stomach. Seokjin feels disgusted. Not by the wound or the blood. But by who did this. The Ravens. His people hurt that little girl.
“How did this happen?” he asks the mother.
“Oh I don’t know”, she wails, “she was playing. She was merely playing. Why, oh why would they hurt my little girl? Why? She has done nothing wrong! She is just a little girl! Just a girl!”
“I’m so sorry”, he croaks, feeling his heart break when the mother begins crying miserably. She falls into her husband’s arms, who joins her painful wailing seconds later.
His people hurt that little girl.
Seokjin stares at her.
They hurt a little girl.
A child.
An innocent person.
“Seokjin!” your harsh voice rips him out of his painful trance.
“Y-yes?”
“Bring me the blood stopping potion. The one in the red bottle! Quick!”
Seokjin runs fast. He runs as fast as he can, fighting against his tears because of what his people did. He almost drops it as he hands it to you, apologizing for his clumsiness with a shaky voice.
“Bandages. Quick”, you however just bark your next order, already applying the potion to the little girl’s wound to finally stop the bleeding. A red glow fills the aura around her. The potion begins to work.
Seokjin can’t see that it does. He is too busy running and running and running to get the bandages. He has to be helpful. He has to save that little girl. His thigh is aching unbearably but he can’t let it stop him. He has to be quick.
He is limping as he runs, feeling out of breath.
“Bandages. Here.”
“Good. Open them. Get them ready, I will need them soon.”
“Yes! I will, oh god, I-I will.”
Seokjin works with shaking fingers. Oh why do they not want to open? Are they stuck together by magic? Come now, fingers! Work! You have to open those bandages! Open them!
“There we go”, he hears you say and watches as you straighten your back, “I closed the wound.”
“Oh by Frenya!” the mother and father exclaim behind him, “is she safe? Did you safe her?”
“Yes, you have nothing to worry about. The wound looked worse than it was. She will survive.”
Seokjin should feel relief, but he doesn’t. He is too shaken up. He can’t even be happy when the parents fall around your neck and thank you with loud sobs and promises of endless prayers for you.
He leaves in the end, once you told him to get some fresh air.
He doesn’t know what he did in that time. He sat, but felt numb in shock. He thought whilst thinking nothing at all. He felt whilst feeling nothing at all.
He is sitting on the stairs once you come out, staring at the ground with lifeless eyes.
“Hello there”, you greet him.
He blinks and turns his head. He doesn’t say anything, he just stares at you with glassy eyes.
“How are you feeling?” you ask him.
He shows you his shaking hand.
“I can’t stop shaking”, he says and laughs painfully, “is this normal?”
“Yes, worry not. I was so shaken in my first few years as a healer that I couldn’t sleep afterwards. It gets better with time.”
“Hah”, he lets out and laughs again.
You know that this was a nervous reaction. When the brain gets overwhelmed, it tends to tell the body to laugh because otherwise it would be unable to handle the stress.
“Forgive me for putting you through this”, you say and offer him a mug of tea, “here, drink this. It will lessen the shakes.”
He accepts it and drinks it with two hands holding the mug. He lowers it afterwards, keeping it balanced on his thigh. His fingers are playing with the handle. It made a faint clicking sound each time he graced his fingernails over the material.
“We did this”, he says.
“I don’t seem to understand.”
“My people did this”, he says and touches his chest, “we hurt a little child.”
You eye the covered raven tattoo on his chest and the way his fingers twist his tunic painfully tight.
“Don’t compare yourself to those monsters. You didn’t hurt her, you saved her life. You are not the same as them.”
“And yet I was, not so long ago”, he lowers his head, “fuck, what have I done?”
“Seokjin, look at me.”
He lifts his head just enough to be able to look into your eyes.
“Your past is messy and dark and filled with mistakes, but it has passed and it can’t define who you want to be in the present.”
He furrows his brows.
“So don’t say that your people did this, because those monsters aren’t your people anymore and you surely aren’t their people either.”
“You truly think so?”
“Yes, I truly do.”
He smiles and while it looked sad, it was also filled with relief.
“Thank you”, he says barely audibly before having to look away and rub at his eyes to stop them from tearing up.
You reach out to give his upper back a gentle pat. He wasn’t shivering as much anymore.
“You did great in there. I mean it, you helped me a great deal”, you praise.
“Thank you. I had no idea what I was doing.”
You laugh, giving his back a gentle rub.
“You still did great.”
“I’m so glad I did”, he says. He takes a deep breath, lifting his head not only to get rid of the tears but also to look at the stars, “it felt good to help another person.”
“Yes that is why I love being a healer. Now, there are losses and those days leave a great aching behind. But most days are like today, filled with worry and yet at the end”, you look at the moon and smile, “at the end they bring great happiness with them.”
“You are a great healer.”
You turn your head only to realise that Seokjin was looking at you. His eyes reflected the light of the moon, his pretty lips were curled into a warm smile.
By Frenya, your heart is fluttering and your stomach tingles. Oh, it is the most unfamiliar of feelings.
“Thank you”, you whisper, eyes racing between his' without wanting to break away.
Seokjin nods his head and touches his chest. He closes his fingers around the tunic.
"Can you heal me from this mark?" he asks.
"I don't know if I can. And even if I could, it would hurt unbearably."
"I'm willing to take it if that means that I’m finally rid of it", he says, eyes filling with tears and lips curling in a painful scowl, "I want to cut it off. Why does it have to be on me?" he croaks, clawing at his chest.
"Hey", you stop him from hurting himself by taking his hand, "don’t do that. You’ll only hurt yourself", you speak softly.
"I don't care. I want it gone."
"But I care", you whisper, tracing his knuckles.
Seokjin whimpers softly, teary eyes flitting to you. He sniffles but doesn’t cry any more.
"I promise you, we will find a solution together, but for now be patient please. I don’t want you to hurt yourself."
Seokjin hesitates, sniffles, lowers his eyes and nods his head.
"Thank you", you say and pull back, “I think I should see how our patient is doing”, you say and stand up. You fix the front of your tunic and clear your throat, “you should stay here and catch fresh air, I know that healing people isn’t for everyone.”
Seokjin looks up at you. His eyes seem softer than they usually do.
“Yes, I will”, he breathes and finally shows his teeth in a hopeful smile.
Yela’s parents pick her up after eight moons and nine suns. The little girl looks healthier and thanked you with a hug. She also thanked Seokjin, who could barely accept her hug in guilt. But Yela insisted and so Seokjin allowed her to hug him and smiled when she called him her saviour too.
It was a busy today. Once the months were cold and the ground was covered in white snow, people tend seek your help for sore throats, stuffy noses and terrible coughs. It wasn’t hard work and required more knowledge about medicine than skill and you really liked it. Seokjin stayed by your side and watched you work. He asked many questions at first, so you gave him one of your empty notebooks and your favourite quill and told him to write down whatever he learned for later. He did so happily, even going so far as to draw the different bottles of medicine and scribbling the illness they could heal whenever the day was calmer.
You just said goodbye to the last of your patients for the day, now turning to Seokjin. He is busy storing the bottles of medicine by name. It fills you with pride to see how far in his readings he has already come. He is truly such a diligent student.
“Today was very busy”, you say.
He lifts his head.
“Yes, you worked very diligently.”
He makes you smile.
“I saw that you took many notes as well”, you say, reaching for his book. You open it, having to chuckle at the very badly done drawings.
“Why are you laughing?” he asks, drawing closer to you so he could look into the book as well.
“It is just that you truly weren’t graced by the drawing goddesses.”
He gasps, widening his eyes, “I worked very hard on them”, he whines, pouting most cutely.
“Oh Seokjin”, you chuckle, patting his arm, “truly I can see your hard work, they are just terrible drawings.”
“This is outrageous. Give me back my book, you have lost the right to look”, he says, ripping it out of your grasp to press it against his chest instead. He looks beyond lovable right now, sulking with the sweetest expression on his face.
“Forgive me”, you giggle, giving his cheek a soft pet, “come, I shall make up for it with food. We shall eat the pork belly Godfry left with us.”
Seokjin huffs out air, “very well, but I will only forgive you if you fry it.”
You laugh, “you are difficult to bargain with, aren’t you?”
“Perhaps”, Seokjin says and gives you a boyish grin.
This night you enjoy perfectly crispy pork belly with some winter potatoes. Even Kukuruz gets his own portion, enjoying it by Seokjin’s feet with a content purr.
It becomes a regular thing that Seokjin stays with you as you work. At first he sits just a little far off to the right and writes in his book. But as days turn into weeks and Seokjin managed to fill two notebooks with his words and terrible drawings, you find yourself getting help from him more actively. Especially when patients come with sore throats or a nasty cold. You can be sure that Seokjin will wait for you with the right medicines and a proud sparkle in his eyes. He is truly such a diligent student.
You have run out of potions last night and so you spent your entire day brewing and preparing new ones. The sun has long past its zenith by now and the cottage smelled of herbs and warm oils. It was a good smell, one that even Kukuruz enjoyed as he slumbered by the window sill.
You close the now freshly filled bottle of healing potion, placing it on its destined place on your shelve.
Seokjin limps past you, carrying empty flasks for you to fill up.
“Is your leg acting up again?” you ask him with worry in your gaze.
“Yes, slightly”, he answers you.
“Come, take off your pants and sit. I will take a look at it”, you tell him.
“Oh no, it’s not that painful.”
“Doesn’t matter”, you dismiss him, “I should check on it regardless.”
Seokjin lowers his eyes and lets out a sigh of defeat.
“Very well, you won’t take no as an answer either way.”
So it happens that Seokjin strips to his undergarment and sits down on the patient bed, resting his weight on his hands.
“How long has it been hurting again?”
“Just a few nights.”
“A few nights? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want to put more work on your shoulders. You have already so much to do now that the weather is so cold.”
“Oh silly man”, you give his thigh a soft slap, “you are no work.”
“Oh”, he lets out, lowering his head shyly just as his ears gain a red colour to them.
“Now, let’s see what the issue may be.”
You take off his bandages carefully, throwing them in your bucket of used bandages. You will wash them with the rest tomorrow.
The stitched wound looks well, except for one part where slight reddish wetness is covering his skin.
“Oh dear, look at that”, you say, touching the reddened skin beside it.
Seokjin hisses in pain, tensing his thigh.
“This is where it hurts.”
“No wonder it does. You rubbed it open.”
“Is it dangerous?”
You chuckle, shaking your head.
“Not when I take care of it”, you assure him, giving him a sweet smile. You caress his knee most tenderly, “stay here, I will get the healing potion.”
Seokjin watches you, sitting on the bed with his hands folded in front of his crotch. He feels most peculiar lately. He feels shy when he is bared to you. He didn’t feel like that in the past, but these days he does. In those moments he was plagued by worries of whether you would find enjoyment in his legs until he had to remind himself just how silly such worries were.
You return to the bed, setting everything you needed down.
“I will clean it first. Tell me if it hurts.”
Seokjin nods his head, feeling his skin tingle in goosebumps on the parts where your fingertips found their resting spot.
“How is that?” you ask him.
“It doesn’t hurt. It is just cold.”
You chuckle, “yes, I’ve kept the water outside for too long. It almost froze over.”
“The winter is really cold this year. I’m glad that I can spend it in warmth.”
You wash out the cloth and once done, return to cleaning him. His flesh is covered in goosebumps, they look most fascinating in the lights.
“So you have no huts in the Black Forest?”
“No. Rafkan believes that houses are the product of witches to keep the man lazy and weak. One can’t find their true strength when they are warm.”
“How silly”, you have to laugh, “if one gets oh so weak in the warmth then tell me why so many people freeze to death.”
“Yes”, Seokjin lowers his eyes shyly, “I never really understood the logic behind his words. I really hated the winters. I was lucky however, many of my brothers weren’t. Rafkan told us that those men were weakened by witches, but I believe that they simply lost to nature.”
“That is terrible”, you gasp, “my condolences, Seokjin.”
“Thank you”, he says, giving you a sad smile.
You retort it.
“I shall look at your wound now, so hold still.”
“I understand”, he says, watching you work in silence.
He will heal. There must have been too much pressure on his leg and therefore it managed to rub open. It is not deep and the stitches were in order as well. A good layer of healing potion will do the trick.
“I heard that the Queen gave many Ravens a safe home in Her walls.”
“Yes, She did.”
“And you didn’t want this life?” you ask him.
“No, I didn’t.”
“Why?”
“Because I didn’t want to be trapped”, he says, slightly defensive, “I spent most of my life trapped in this cursed forest”, he spits and points east at where the Black Forest was hidden, “and then I was supposed to find freedom locked behind stone walls? What’s better about that?” he says, speaking calmly again.
“Safety, warm food, soft beds, no poisonous fumes or monsters”, you say, counting them all on your fingers.
He scoffs and shakes his head, “well, I didn’t want that. I don’t….” he takes a deep breath and releases it through his nose, “….I don’t want to live under the hand of someone else anymore.”
His features seem sad. His eyes carried the heaviness of a burden in them. His teeth bit on his lower lip in contemplation.
“So you ran away because you wanted freedom?”
“Yes, freedom”, he straightens up, “that is what I want. I want freedom, to live solely for myself.”
He looks at you.
“I know that you women aren’t witches. I’ve learned as much from the Queen”, he says, eyes lingering on your lips before breaking away to look at your working fingers instead, “She isn’t a bad person, She is very kind if I may be honest and I know my life in the castle would have been nice…”, he falls silent as he drifts back into his thoughts.
You spread the first layer of healing potion on his skin as you wait for him to continue.
“…but I escaped Rafkan to finally gain my freedom and in Her castle I would have had to live under yet another ruler. No”, he shakes his head, “this was no life for me. So I ran away.”
He looks at his leg.
“I managed to put two nights between the castle and me when this cursed wolf attacked me and bit my leg and I fell into this cursed river”, he explains and laughs, “I must say, this was a wonderful escape. I not only escaped Her castle but almost life itself”, he jokes and laughs.
You chuckle softly.
“At least you met me.”
He looks into your eyes. He had stopped laughing for your eyes mesmerised him far too much. A peculiar feeling tingles in your chest. It felt warm and as if, for only a second, you found it hard to breathe.
“I meant that you were lucky you found me. I helped you. I, I didn’t mean you f-found love or – oh dear this is not what I meant I don’t – forgive me, I am making no sense”, you explain yourself.
Seokjin smiles without showing his teeth. It makes his cheeks seem puffier for only a second.
“Yes, I found you. I’m glad I did.”
“Really?”
“Yes, you saved me. So thank you.”
“Of course”, you whisper. You didn’t want to whisper, but for some reason your voice didn’t want to come out any other way.
You laugh, looking back at his leg because you needed to do something other than feel flustered. Perhaps having his naked skin beneath your fingertips wasn’t the best distraction, but at least like this, you couldn’t lose yourself in his eyes again.
You reach for the bandages.
“Hold that in place for me.”
He obeys diligently, allowing his finger to brush against your hand, which elicits a millions of goosebumps on your skin.
"You will find your freedom. I promise you", you say quietly, "I won’t stop until I find a way to remove your mark and then you can go wherever you want to", you find it hard to speak the words and you can’t figure out why it felt so difficult.
"Thank you", he whispers, fingers almost touching your knuckles before pulling back shyly.
It was a sunny day today. The air was still cold, but at least the skies were blue and the sun was bright. It made the walk to the riverbed quite wonderful.
You had an important job to do today. Yela’s parents sent a hawk this morning, informing you that they ran out of medicine for their daughter. Her wound was healing splendidly but Yela had another condition which made it hard for her to digest the sugar in food. She takes a potion to help her with that. You sent the hawk back with promises of delivering the potions to them later.
So you ate a quick breakfast and then began working on preparing the medicine. Seokjin insisted on helping and you allowed him. You had to sneak out for a quick moment to get water as Kukuruz informed you that his bowl was empty and that he wanted more. Of course you wouldn’t want your cat to feel parched, so you left the cottage when Seokjin was busy in the living quarters getting books on spells.
He is grinding the herbs when you come back. The book, which he found, he placed on the work table. He lifts his head upon hearing the door close, locking eyes with you.
“I thought they would lose their potency if I kept them for too long”, he explains.
“They don’t really, but one can’t be sure enough. Thank you”, you tell him, setting the bucket down next to the work table.
Mreow.
The black cat is circling your legs.
“Yes I got new water Kukuruz. Come, bring me your bowl and I will fill it up for you.”
Mreow.
“Now, now don’t talk back. I know you can do it.”
Meow.
“I heard that!” you call out.
“Can you truly understand your cat?”
“Yes, of course I can. Here, look”, you say and show him a delicate silver bracelet. There was a yellow stone in the middle, enclosed in a cage of branches, “I went to a sorceress and asked her for one of those cat talking bracelets.”
Seokjin widens his eyes.
“So they are truthful?” he gasps, “I have always thought them to be gimmicks.”
“Oh me too, but they are very true. I was oh so surprised to hear voices in my cottage until I realised that it was Kukuruz talking to me.”
The latter is currently strutting back to the bucket, carrying his wooden water bowl in his little mouth. He sets it down and looks up.
Mreow.
“Thank you.”
“What did he tell you?”
“He told me here you go, my bowl.”
“Hah, this is remarkable”, Seokjin says.
“Yes?” you kneel down to prepare the water for Kukuruz, “do you want to try?”
“Yes, please”, he exclaims with sparkling eyes. He giggles as you secure the bracelet on his wrist, turning his attention to Kukuruz afterwards, “Kukuruz?”
Mreow.
“Oh!” he exclaims, squeaking in happiness, “oh I can understand you.”
Mreow.
“No, this is my first time I am hearing your voice! Oh you sound deeper than I imagined you to sound.”
Mreow.
Seokjin giggles, leaning down to pet the cat’s head.
“It is nice to meet you too Kukuruz.”
He turns to you, giving you a blinding smile.
“This is the most remarkable invention”, he says, making you smile.
“You can keep it on for today.”
“Truly? You would allow me?”
“Yes, of course”, you allow him and pull your stool next to Seokjin to sit down, “shall I show you how to make this medicine?”
He nods his head.
“Well then”, you sneak a glance at the contents in the stone bowl, “you need to give the herbs five more grinds, they should be perfect then.”
“I understand”, he says and goes to work. You watch his hands as he works. They look elegant, his nails are clean and his nail beds look well-taken care of. It is surprising to see such hands on a Raven. You always expected them to be dirty and for their hands to be horrid to look at. But his hands aren’t horrid to look at, they are actually quite beautiful.
“Does the Queen look for you?” you ask him.
“I don’t know, I don’t believe She does. Perhaps She is already dead.”
“I don’t understand.”
Seokjin seems to hesitate.
“I shall tell you, but only if you promise me not to pull the knife on me again.”
You meet his eyes. He seems just slightly nervous of the truth.
“Fine”, you give in with a fond chuckle, “I shall hear you out.”
He gives you a grateful smile and looks back at the herbs.
“I finished grinding them, what should I do next?”
“Ah yes of course”, you say and reach for three different bottles of oils, “you must add five drops of treebark oil”, you explain and put the green flask next to his hand, “then one dash of Kreusel fish oil” you add, placing a spray bottle next to the flask, “and fill it up halfway with this”, you say and place a bottle of rosehip oil next to the others.
Seokjin nods in understanding and begins working.
You allow him to count the five drops and one dash, but ask him for his story once he uses the rosehip oil.
“Rafkan sent me to kill the Queen”, he begins, making you widen your eyes in surprise, “and I attempted to kill Her, but She was quicker and captured me.”
“So you were Her prisoner?”
“Just in the beginning. Should I mix it?”
“Yes, mix it until the candle burned down to the second line.”
He nods his head in understanding and mix it with the mortar.
"So why do you think that She might be dead already?"
"Because I believe that Rafkan will send more Ravens until She is dead", he explains, "we agreed on a signal once we were successful in killing Her. Send a raven back to him with Her cut off finger ties to its legs. That’s what he told me to do."
"This is gruesome."
"Yes and until this raven doesn’t return to him, Rafkan will continue sending boys into their…well", he laughs breathily, "perhaps it is a good thing those boys keep trying. At least they will find saving this way."
Seokjin looks at you.
"I have a little brother. Not through blood, but he is the dearest to my heart. His name is Jungkook. I really hope that Rafkan sends him next and that he will be caught and find freedom that way."
You smile softly, "I really hope so too. Is he like you? Forced to be someone he doesn’t want to be?"
Seokjin shakes his head, "he is so terribly influenced by Rafkan that it will be hard for the Queen to convince him", he says in a fond chuckle.
It makes you laugh as well. Even if you had no knowledge about Jungkook.
"I always wanted to flee", Seokjin continues, "that is why I volunteered when he asked. But Jungkook, he", Seokjin laughs painfully, "he called me hurtful things during our last conversation. I asked him to flee with me, but he refused and said stuff I know he didn’t mean."
"I'm sorry, that sounds painful."
"No, I’m not angry at him. He is still so young and he has so much to learn. I hope he will find the truth in the Queen’s castle and then heal from all the pain Rafkan caused him. I really wish this for him."
"I am sure that he will", you assure him, "maybe you can see him again one day."
"I really hope I will. I want to hug him if I ever do."
He smiles, laughs softly and looks back at the medicine.
"I'm rambling, I’m sorry."
"You really aren’t. So you said that She wanted to give you a home. But then you said that you were her prisoner. Did you lie?”
“No, I was free to move in the castle, but I wasn’t allowed to leave it yet. So in a way, I was still Her prisoner and I didn’t want that. I wanted to see the world.”
“I understand that. I heard that Rafkan doesn’t really allow you to leave. I bet going on this mission to kill Her felt like your key to freedom.”
He nods his head.
“Well, once your legs is healed completely I promise you that you can truly find it", you say and nudge his arm, “then you can finally leave my boring cottage. I’m sure you are looking forward to that.”
Seokjin turns his head to look at your face. He gives you a smile, which neither looks happy nor fake. It almost looks disappointed, as if he doesn’t want to think about the future you told him about.
“I, uhm”, you say, pulling your hand away, “oh look! The candle burned down. Now we have to fill it up quickly.”
Seokjin helps you. He pours and you hold the bottles. He also sneaks a glance or two at your face, which you retorted each time. You were so close. You were aware that it was only because you and him needed to work right now, but still, you were close and somehow this made your heart flutter again.
You finish the medicine by sticking a sturdy cork into the small bottle neck. Seokjin mimics the gesture on his bottles, doing so with his brows furrowed in concentration.
He also helps you with storing them in your basket, watching with great interest as you tug them in with a red cloth.
“So, I have to deliver them to Yela and her family now. I should be back by nightfall.”
Seokjin watches you put your fur and hood on. He stands up, erasing the distance between you and him.
“Can I come with you?” he asks almost shyly.
“You want to come with me?” you sound surprised.
He nods his head, “I want to help.”
“Oh don’t worry, they are not heavy. I can manage.”
“I understand”, he murmurs, lowering his eyes sadly. He seems so disappointed to be left behind.
“But fresh air would do you good”, you tell him because you couldn’t stand the thought of having Seokjin sit in your cottage with a sad expression.
Seokjin smiles happily, “thank you, I will get ready right away.”
Ten minutes later you and he are outside. Seokjin watches you lock your cottage. You turn to him and give him a shy smile.
“Let’s go, it is quite the long walk and we should hurry.”
“Where do we have to go?” he asks.
“Just past the town. It will take about an hour by foot.”
“I see, I have never been in town.”
“You have not?” you gasp.
Seokjin shakes his head, looking sad.
“Oh by Frenya, you truly haven’t seen a lot of the world, have you?”
He shakes his head again.
“Well then, I will show you a new spot today. Trust me, you will like the town. It is not big, but it is very good. The people are very welcoming and friendly. And I especially love the market place.”
“Why? Is the market place special?”
“No, but it houses a very beautiful statue of a wolf and I enjoy looking at all its details whenever I’m at the market”, you explain and sneak a glance at him, “worry not, it will not bite your leg.”
Seokjin laughs, which you retort. He has such a nice laugh. It is the kind of laugh which makes one want to laugh as well.
You pull closer to Seokjin once you enter the tense conifer tree forest.
“You have to be careful in these forests”, you tell him in a hushed voice.
“Why? Is it dangerous?” Seokjin gasps, sounding nervous.
“No, but there are tree fairies all around us and they like to play tricks.”
“Tricks?”
You nod your head, “they grow roots in front of people’s feet to trip them. Some even let pinecones drop on people’s heads. The whole forest laughs then if that happens.”
“I see. That sounds dangerous”, Seokjin says, eyes flitting to the ground in case magical roots appeared in front of his feet.
“They aren’t dangerous, don’t worry. They keep this forest alive and healthy and their tricks are harmless except for maybe a bruised knee and embarrassment in your chest.”
“I see”, Seokjin says, lifting his head to gaze at the canopy of prickly branches far above your heads, “do you know if there are tree fairies in the Black Forest?”
“There were once, but these days not anymore. They either died, got killed or fled to other forests. That is why the forest is so dark and why so many curses took root in it. There are no fairies left to heal and protect it.”
“Is this a natural thing to happen?”
“No. Tree fairies don’t abandon their trees, unless there is a reason for it. And in the case of the Black Forest, the reason came in the form of Rafkan. I didn’t witness the downfall of the forest as it happened hundreds of years ago, but the story of it is well known on this continent.”
“I heard that Rafkan is one of the Nïuri”, Seokjin says, “he always pretended to be mortal like the rest of us, but I never saw him eat or sleep, let alone age.”
“You saw right. Nïuri are a peaceful people, but not him. They use their immortality to nurture the earth, but he is nothing but a curse to every inch of earth he sets his evil feet on.”
“To imagine that the Black Forest was healthy once and that this awful person hurt it for hundreds of years”, Seokjin whispers and lets out a sad sigh, “I feel so much anger for him. I want to bring him so much harm.”
“I understand how you feel. I think about hurting him on many nights.”
Seokjin looks at you, “the Queen told me that Rafkan was the one who killed my parents and till now, I didn’t believe Her. What if She was right? I have a feeling that She was right all along.”
You could hear the grief in his voice. The heartbreak a painful realisation brings. The betrayal and anger and pain which follow.
“I can’t tell you, but I hope for your heart that She was wrong. Nobody should have to live with the murderer of their parents.”
Seokjin furrows his brows, “I want to hurt him”, he confesses with a trembling voice, “I want to hurt him until he begs me to stop.”
“I know, oh I know how you feel”, you say softly, stepping closer to hold his hands.
You stop. Droplets of melting snow rain down on your heads from the branches high above. Seokjin’s quick breathing creates white clouds in the air. His fingers are cold, closing around your fingers almost desperately.
“But Seokjin, seeking revenge on him won’t heal the wounds he left.”
“No, but at least it will stop them from opening up over and over again.”
“I understand you, I truly do. I lost my beloved aunt to Rafkan and if this cursed person were to ever appear in front of me, I wouldn’t hesitate for a second to kill him. But seeking for it?” you pull him closer, tighten your grip on his hands, let your eyes get lost in his’, “seeking for it will give you more grief than relief. Please believe me. Believe me when I tell you that healing far, far away from him will feel better in the long run than seeking him one last time.”
“Are you scared that I might become the man I was in the past? Is that why you are telling me all of this?”
“No, I know you. You were never meant to be a Raven and you will never fall back into your old habits again”, you assure him with a fond smile on your lips, “and that is why I don’t want you to go back to that place. Distance keeps the memories at bay, while propinquity burns new holes into your heart.”
Seokjin breaks eye contact after a second, lowering his head with an exhausted sigh.
“It hurts”, he confesses in a whisper, “I was four years of age when Rafkan rescued me after masked bandits slit my parents’ throats a-and to imagine that I called their murderer my father for so many years unbeknownst to his true nature, hurts me so much that I can barely breathe.”
“It hurts me too. Rafkan deserves to be ripped apart by Morguls for what he did to you and so many other poor boys. If there is anything I can do to lessen the pain, I will do it.”
“Just…” Seokjin hesitates, lifts his eyes, hesitates. He takes a cautious step closer, “can I be held? For just a second.”
“Yes”, you whisper, closing your arms around him to pull him into a tight and soothing hug.
Seokjin drapes his arms around your waist instantly and rests his cheek on your shoulder. Despite his stature, he feels fragile in your arms. You find no peculiarity in that, knowing very well why he felt as small as he did. Coming to terms with your hurtful past leaves one broken and weak. You hope that this measly hug is enough to heal even a little part of him.
He shudders in an exhale.
“Is this how hugs feel?” he whispers.
“Have you never been hugged before?”
He shakes his head, “it feels so…healing.”
You smile. It was of both sad and happy nature. Sad because someone as gentle as Seokjin should have never lived so long without being hugged. And happy because he finally found healing through it.
“Thank you”, he breathes and you answer him by patting his upper back slowly.
He steps back soon after, revealing his teary eyes to you. He hides them when he watches with how much worry your features fill.
“It’s the wind”, he lies, wiping the tears away, “it’s so cold.”
“It is acceptable to cry. Never apologise”, you assure him, taking a step back because otherwise you would have reached for his cheeks and kissed his tears away and you know that this wasn’t in your place to do.
“Hah”, he lets out, cheeks and ears gaining in sudden colour, “we should probably keep walking, shouldn’t we?” he asks, carrying embarrassment in his voice.
“Yes, we should”, you say, feeling oh so flustered yourself.
You deliver the medicine to Yela and her parents. They thank you with a freshly baked honey cake. It smelled of cinnamon and cloves and had a yellow colour to it, almost as if turmeric had tainted it.
You leave for the village afterwards, now that you had time to truly show Seokjin around. His pretty eyes seemed to light up more and more the closer to the village you came. You prefer that view over the sad betrayal he carried in the forest just hours prior.
“Here it is. My favourite statue”, you tell him, stopping in front of the statue of the wolf, “isn’t it beautiful?”
It was made out of dark bronze, except for its left paw. The touch of countless people turned it golden.
Seokjin studies it, “yes it is. The teeth look so real.”
“Yes, indeed. And look”, you say, touching its golden paw, “it is said that if you rub the wolf’s paw thrice all your wishes will come true.”
Seokjin reaches out and rubs the paw of the wolf. He squeezes his eyes shut and whispers something you can’t make out. Then he opens his eyes.
“What did you wish for?”
“I can’t tell you, otherwise it won’t come true”, he says, making you smile fondly.
“Very well then, keep your secrets. Come, I’ll show you to the marketplace.”
Seokjin follows, looking left and right with great interest. His eyes are sparkling greatly. He seems so content.
“Do you know why wolves carry such great importance in the Night Queendom?” you ask him.
“Is it because we have so many wolves living here?”
“Not quite.”
“Well, what is it then?”
“Did you know that Woltron and his pack are actually old gods?”
Seokjin looks at you with widened eyes.
“No, I didn’t. Is this really true?”
“Indeed it is”, you nod your head, “and that is why we cherish wolves so greatly, because Woltron and his pack watch over us and our lands.”
“I see. You know so much.”
“Yes, my mother told me a lot about our history”, you nudge his arm, “I can tell you everything you want to know. You just have to ask.”
“Really?”
“Yes of course.”
“Well then I want to know. Are the Nourishing Fields really endless?”
“Well, in the literal sense they aren’t, but they are so big and so wide that they seem endless.”
“I see”, Seokjin says and blushes, “I want to see the Nourishing Fields.”
“You can, I promise you.”
“Really?”
“Of course, once the months are warmer again and the days longer, you can go wherever you want”, you give him a smile, “you can finally see the world.”
You expected him to be happy, to retort your smile and show excitement in his eyes, but for some unexplainable reason he seems sad.
“Yes, I guess I can see the world”, he murmurs and sighs.
“What’s the matter?” you ask him, “do you not want to see the world?”
“I do, but I just…” he trails off, looks to the side as if he was flustered, “it doesn’t really matter. I’m just scared, I guess.”
“Scared”, you repeat, “I see. It must be scary to wander the world, but I am sure that once you took those first few steps you will find great enjoyment in it. Worry not Seokjin”, you place your hand on his upper arm, feeling how his muscles tense, “you will love it.”
“Will I?” he asks, turning back to you. You don’t miss the way his eyes seem to linger on your lips for just a second or the way his fingers reach for your hand when you retreat your touch.
“Of course”, your voice felt hoarse as you spoke and for just one second you felt this unbearable urge to reach back and touch his hand. You let out a nervous laugh, touching the side of your neck for your pulse felt terribly hasty in your throat, “well, uhm”, you begin and clear your throat, “we are here. This is the marketplace.”
Seokjin lets his eyes wander over the spacious plaza. The stalls are empty, standing in darkness whilst casting the blackest of shadows on the paving. Dogs are circling the stall in which butchers sell their merchandise. They must smell the meat, looking for it without the knowledge that their search will be unsuccessful.
On the only lantern a big owl is sitting, staring down at the two of you with big, unmoving eyes and every now and then, its eerie call cuts through the silence of the night.
“It’s very…empty”, Seokjin says, making you chuckle quietly.
“Yes indeed. We picked out a terrible time. Come tomorrow morning and this place is bustling with life. Right there”, you point at one of the abandoned stalls, “is where the best cake maker in town sells her goods. Oh Seokjin, the cakes she sells are magical.”
“I ate cake in the Queen’s castle. It’s really sweet.”
“Indeed and it’s so delicious, wouldn’t you say?”
Seokjin nods his head, “I liked it a lot. I want to learn how to make cake.”
“I can teach you, if you want to.”
Seokjin looks at you with sparkling eyes, “you would do that for me?”
“Of course I would”, you give him a smile and this time around Seokjin retorts it.
Your eyes flit to it. Lingering. His lips look so pretty when he smiles. Even now in the bad lighting you find great beauty in them.
“What is it?” Seokjin asks you, stopping his smile for your intense gaze is flustering him.
“Oh dear”, you murmur, turning away with a fluttering heart, “I don’t know. I think, I must be tired. I keep zoning out on…” you falter in embarrassment. You don’t want to expose yourself, “…on different spots”, you lie.
“Ah, I see. Well, then. Do you want to walk home?”
“Home”, you repeat, finding yourself looking at his lips again, “yes, we could do that, couldn’t we?”
You prepare warm tea for the both of you once home. The nights may be warmer again, but walking in its wet coldness for hours still managed to freeze your limbs. You have both done your nightly washing-up and changed into thick sleeping clothes. You laid out a pair of woollen socks, which you made during calmer moments, for both you and Seokjin as well.
“There you go”, you say, handing Seokjin his cup of elderflower tea, “this will warm you.”
“Thank you”, Seokjin says.
You sit down on the fur next to him, joining him in his relaxing task of watching the flames in the fireplace dance.
“Today was quite the productive day”, you say.
“Yes, we managed to do a lot of tasks”, he agrees.
“Indeed. Oh Seokjin”, you relax with a sigh, “I will miss you dearly once you are gone. You are truly of such great help.”
Seokjin looks at you with rosy cheeks. He fumbles with the edge of his cup, feeling warm in his chest right where his heart flutters.
“And you are a diligent student”, you sneak a glance at him, “you would make a fine healer.”
Seokjin lowers his gaze, touching his burning ear, “you think so?” he whispers.
“Yes, I truly do”, you whisper, gazing at his features. Oh why must he be so beautiful? If only you didn’t like his face so much, if only you didn’t find so much beauty in his soul, maybe then you wouldn’t ache so much each time you thought of him leaving one day.
You turn away, aching too much to bear his beauty any longer. The flames dance calmly, swaying left and right. You take a sip of your tea. It tastes good and fills your stomach with warmth.
"I have something for you", you tell him.
"For me?"
You stand up to get it from your shelf, returning to him with a racing heart. Seokjin helps you sit down by holding your hand, eyes flitting to the piece of paper you are holding.
You place said paper on his lap, "open it."
Seokjin does so without hesitation, widening his eyes in shock.
"Is this", he gasps, looking at you.
"A potion to remove tattoos, yes. I found it at the market yesterday and I wanted to surprise you", you say, giggling excitedly.
"You actually meant it", he whispers, clutching it to his chest with teary eyes.
"Of course I did."
Seokjin smiles, "thank you. I don’t know what to say."
"Don't say anything. I'm just happy that I can help you heal from your past."
Seokjin nods his head and seeks you out by resting his head on your shoulder. He exhales deeply, eyes falling closed and fingers coming to play with the hem of your tunic. Mindlessly and innocently, but you feel weak nonetheless.
"Thank you", he whispers.
"Mhm", you let out, patting his thigh twice before pulling back again.
Why does he have to leave? Why him? Why?
“Where will you go once the months are warmer again?” you ask him even if asking that question hurts you. You don’t want him to leave, but it would be selfish of you to hold him back. He should experience freedom. That is what he deserves.
For a second he is silent, looking into the flames.
“I don’t know” he says quietly.
“I can advise you visit the Nourishing Fields first. Oh, they have the most beautiful colour during summer.”
“Are they far from here?”
“Just a five days walk perhaps. That is if you would spend each passing hour of those days walking”, you say and laugh quietly.
Seokjin can’t quite bring himself to laugh as well. The thought of wandering so far from you makes his heart ache.
“So I would say that you could reach them in about a week if the roads are good.”
“Have you ever been to the Nourishing Fields?”
“Yes, many times actually. My cousin lives close to them and I like to visit him when it is warm.”
You take a sip of your tea. It has cooled down just enough to make it bearable to drink.
“I truly enjoy this tea, it tastes so good.”
Seokjin takes a sip as well.
“Yes, it is very good.”
“Indeed” you say and nudge his head with your chin.
Seokjin lifts his head. You are giggling at him.
Seokjin wants to giggle too, he wants to smile at you just like you do, he wants his eyes to sparkle the way yours do and yet in this moment as the taste of elderflowers was lingering on his tongue and his temple felt your lingering warmth, he couldn’t. He ached so terribly. The snow has begun to melt and if the nights continue to be as mild as they were lately, then soon the earth will thaw as well. And that means that the warmer months have finally come back and Seokjin has to leave your cottage to explore the world.
“I don’t want to see the world”, he blurts out.
“What?” you stop laughing, studying his features with confusion in your eyes.
“I don’t want to see the world.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I don’t want to see the world if, if that means that I have to leave. I don’t want to run on the Nourishing Fields or climb the Snowy Mountains or, or swim in foreign lakes if that means that I can’t see you anymore.”
“Seokjin, what are you saying?”
“You are asking me where I want to go first once the months are warmer again, but truth be told, the thought of going anywhere without you hurts me so terribly much that I want to wail”, he confesses with glassy eyes.
“Oh…”
“Perhaps I want to go to the town first”, he says and lets out a breathy laugh, “yes, that is the place I want to go. I want to go to the town in the greyness of dawn when you are still sleeping and I want to go there to buy the biggest piece of cake for you and then I will carry it home and I will be careful not to meet any tree fairies. And once home, I will feed Kukuruz and check on you and I will see that you are still sleeping. So I will prepare the cake and I will put a flower on the plate with it and perhaps I will sprinkle some sugar on it too because it is a special occasion and then I will bring it to you and wake you by, by”, he inhales shakily, “by kissing your forehead and I will watch how you smile at me and how you eat the cake deliciously and I will be happy.”
He rubs at his eyes, wiping his tears away.
“So that is where I will go once the months are warmer. I will go to the town to buy you a cake.”
You sniffle.
“That is a good place”, you whisper, intertwining your fingers with his’.
“So please don’t make me leave. Please let me stay by your side.”
You nod your head, fighting with your tears. You guide his hand to your lips, kissing his knuckles with all the love you have for him. You rest your cheek against them afterwards, allowing your warm tears to roll down his skin.
“I didn’t want you to leave either, but I didn’t want to tell you because seeing the world was your dream”, you confess.
“I can already see the world when I look into your eyes.”
You open your eyes, meeting the world in his eyes.
“I can see it too”, you whisper, “it’s beautiful.”
Seokjin smiles with his cheeks blushing. He squeezes your hand. You squeeze it right back, lifting your head to get closer to him. Your noses are almost touching, your lips are so close, your vision is just slightly blurry.
“Can I kiss you?” you ask him in a barely there whisper.
He closes his eyes, “please kiss me.”
“Oh Seokjin”, you sigh, cupping his cheek.
Seokjin closes his eyes with a sigh, meeting you halfway with yet another sigh rolling over his tongue.
You feel how easy life becomes once you kiss him. The air is lighter around you and filled with magic. Your cabin, once dark, is sparkling in the colours of the universe. Your skin prickles and in your tummy millions of butterflies flutter. This is the best feel you ever experienced.
You sigh and cup his other cheek, pulling him closer. Seokjin allows you, touching your upper arms with shaky fingers. His heart is racing so much that he fears that you might hear it. He has never kissed before, but he is glad that he didn’t. For having your lips be the first lips he ever kisses feels like wondrous magic to him.
A magic which soon robs him of air. He breaks the magic, only to realise that it still remains as flutters of his heart and tingles in his stomach.
You stay close, running your thumbs over his soft cheeks and poking his nose with your own. You feel so lightheaded. Kissing him felt like paradise.
“This felt magical”, he whispers, sighing when you brush your thumb over his cheekbone.
“Yes, it did. Oh Seokjin, I had wanted to kiss you for so long.”
“You, you did?” he stutters, blushing.
You move your head back just so you could gaze at his perfect features.
“Yes”, you whisper, tracing his pretty lips, “you have the most beautiful smile and your face”, you run your fingertips along his cheeks up to his forehead and down the slope of his nose.
Seokjin feels shivers run down his spine at the touch, having his eyes closed.
“Oh your face”, you whisper, “I don’t want to stop looking at it.”
You kiss him, surprising him so much that his stomach tightens and his heart skips a beat in his chest. He sighs shakily, allowing you to tilt his head so you could reach him easier. You kiss so much better than he ever could, you know so much more, he thinks. He believes that if he allows you to guide him, then he won’t be able to disappoint. He really doesn’t want to disappoint. Not you. You are so wise, so full of knowledge, so skilled and if he disappointed you with his kisses, he would never forgive himself.
So he lets you hold his face while he rests his hands on your waist. He lets you trace his lips with your tongue while he whimpers softly. He lets you lay him down on the fur, whilst gasping your name.
Your elbows are caging in his head, your hands smooth over his hair. Your chest is resting against his torso in this position and Seokjin can feel how quickly your heart is racing. So you feel just as excited as he does. Oh, he feels so reassured in his feelings because of it.
You break the kiss, tracing his lips with your tongue. They feel so tender, almost sensitive even. Oh, how long have you kissed him already? You can’t remember.
“Your lips are so soft”, you whisper, chasing them in a slow kiss.
Seokjin keens quietly, hands reaching up to cup your cheeks. His palms feel clammy against your skin.
Giggling, you break the kiss just so you could gaze at him.
Your eyes soften upon meeting his glimmering gaze. You tilt your head to the side and caress his soft cheeks, “you look so beautiful.”
His plumb lips wear the deepest of pinks, his cheeks match, as do his ears. His raven hair is just slightly tousled in the front, hanging into his brows. He is breathing quickly, gazing up at you with his dark brown, pretty eyes.
“You look beautiful too”, he answers you in a small voice.
"I want to keep kissing you."
"Please do. I want it to too."
"Oh Seokjin, my dearest", you sigh and lean down.
Seokjin gasps loudly when instead of kissing his lips, you lean down to kiss his neck.
“O-oh”, he gets out, lifting his shoulders in instinct for the sensation was foreign to him.
You flinch back instantly.
“Forgive me. I, I should have asked", you stutter.
Your eyes meet.
"No", he shakes his head vigorously, "it felt really good. It surprised me, that is all", he whispers.
“Yes? So I can do it again?” you ask him, "please?"
Seokjin blushes vividly, avoiding eye contact.
“I’m scared”, he confesses.
“Scared? Sacred of what?”
“Of, of…of disappointing you.”
“Disappointing me? Oh Seokjin, why would you disappoint me?”
“Because I am a-”, he exhales shakily, “I have no knowledge of being intimate. And, and you know so much. You are so skilled and, and probably had men better than me and I don’t want to disappoint.”
“Seokjin, my dearest”, you say, soothing him by caressing his cheeks, “the fact that those men aren’t by my side anymore means that in the end, they couldn’t truly satisfy me. You aren’t worse than them, on the contrary, I have never felt so bewitched by anyone before you.”
“Really?”
“Yes”, you promise him, “so worry not. You are my diligent student after all, I am certain you will be a natural in intimacy as well.”
“I’m your student?” he gasps, ears turning the deepest reds instantly.
You giggle. Seokjin giggles too.
“Of course you are. You are my very good student”, you say, dancing your fingers over his collarbones.
Seokjin lets out a small moan, widening his eyes as he squirms underneath you. He seems to really like it when you praise him. Oh, that makes you so happy. You want to keep praising him just so you can make him look at you in that adorable fashion he does right now.
"Perhaps you are even my best student", you say, basking in the joy you feel when he squirms a second time.
“___”, he gets out, lips parting and staying that way. He hooks his fingers behind your neck, rolling his head to the side just enough to reveal his flushed neck to your eyes.
"My best student", you whisper and lean down to place a subtle kiss on his neck.
This time, Seokjin reacts in a sigh, head rolling to the side completely and eyes falling closed. His fingers slip from your neck, tangling in the fur in a shy and desperate grip.
Your own close around a bundle of his hair, mind falling into the droopiness of worshipping his vulnerable neck. His skin feels so soft under your lips. And hot. Oh so utterly hot. As if a fire was keeping it warm. You feel the sensation with three kisses and then a shy lick follows.
Seokjin makes a soft sound, touching your hips only to pull away again. Another twist of the fur. Shy avoidance of what he truly craves.
“Don't pull away. You are allowed to touch me”, you encourage him with a whisper against his jawline.
“But where?”
“Where do you want to touch me?”
“Your torso.”
His answer makes you smile. You kiss along his pulse point, tickling him with gentle bites.
“Then my torso it is. Touch me, my diligent student”, you rasp, making him shiver.
His hands grasp your hips, squeezing them with a certain strength. It is the kind of strength that lets you know just how incredibly affected he is by the situation. And that perhaps he had craved to touch you for the longest time.
“That's it, your touch feels wonderful”, you praise him, moving his head by tugging on his hair most gently.
He rolls it to the other side, exposing his unkissed neck to your eyes. His skin is tinted pink, looking beautiful like this.
“You are so beautiful”, you breathe, kissing him with a racing heart.
“Ah”, Seokjin lets out, running his hands up along your sides, “oh”, he sighs and shivers. He never even thought about how sensitive his neck is. He wonders if he is different and if such sensitivity is normal. He also wonders if he is allowed to shiver oh so incredibly much or if he is acting inappropriately.
You take his earlobe between your teeth then and Seokjin swears that never before, his thoughts turned off as quickly as they did right now.
His fingers stutter, coming to an involuntary pause right underneath your armpits. The bite just feels so good. Seokjin has to sigh and then call your name.
“Is this enjoyable?” you ask him in the sweetest voice.
“I, I think something is wrong with me.”
“Truly?” you lift your head, eyes running over his features, “what is the matter? Where does it hurt?”
He shakes his head, “no, it is just that…that my neck.”
“What about your neck?”
“When you kiss me, I feel sensations down my back. Like shivers and, and they are in my fingertips as well and between”, he lowers his eyes, “I think it affects my, ahm, my cock as well.”
"Oh dear", you can’t stop yourself from breaking into the fondest of chuckles, "my dearest Seokjin, there is nothing wrong with you. On the contrary, everything is perfectly fine."
"But why does it feel so hot? A-as if fire fairies are close."
"You are fine", you assure him, smoothing out his hair, "oh Seokjin, this is supposed to happen. Your cock is supposed to harden."
Seokjin widens his eyes, mouth falling open.
"Oh."
You giggle, poking the tip of his nose with your fingertip. He looks oh so endearing.
"Do you want to kiss my neck as well? I react differently than you do."
"You do?"
You nod your head.
"So your core doesn’t harden? Like I do?"
You chuckle, "how about you kiss my neck and I'll show you?"
"Yes", Seokjin nods his head passionately, "I want to."
"Great", you say, lying down in the fur beside him.
Seokjin props himself up on his elbows, looking down at you with big eyes. Like an innocent deer caught eating one of your plants. You love this view so very much.
You roll your head to the side and tug the collar of your tunic down, exposing your neck that way.
"Kiss it. Kiss me, dear Seokjin", you sigh.
Seokjin exhales shakily, doing so to still the racing of his heart. Not that this helps. On the contrary, it only worsens it. He is so nervous and scared to disappoint.
He lowers his head, holding his breath for the next part.
His lips make the softest of sounds as he places his first kiss upon your skin. He pulls back afterwards.
"Is that right?" he asks shyly.
"Yes, it feels so good", you assure him, "do it again. More. Much more."
Seokjin feels happy. He did well! Without wasting another second, he lowers his lips back to your neck. Your skin is soft, your pulse is tickling him, your throat produces the smallest of moans.
Seokjin closes his eyes and dares to weave his fingers in your hair as best as possible. He doesn’t tug like you did, he merely wants to hold a part of you as he kisses your neck.
“This is so good”, you sigh, feeling yourself shiver uncontrollably.
You had lovers in your past. Not many, but just enough to figure out what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. Most were mediocre, many were terrible and only a few were good. And you didn’t care enough about them to want them to stay. They were nice to have for the time being, but didn’t leave a hole of yearning once they left again. Most kissed your neck as well and the very few who refused to, were thrown out the moment they did. But they were all different. You realise this much now that Seokjin is kissing your neck.
They didn’t leave you feeling oh so breathless from mere neck kisses. They didn’t leave you craving for more of their touch. But Seokjin does. Oh, how he does.
You grab his hand and place it atop your breast.
"Oh?" Seokjin lifts his head, gawking at you with widened eyes.
"Massage it softly. It feels so good", you tell him.
Seokjin gives your breast a soft squeeze, watching with heat between his legs as this makes you arch your back.
"Just like that. Keep doing it just like that", you sigh, "oh Seokjin, dearest", you moan and overcome by your emotions you pull him down into a passionate kiss.
Seokjin whimpers, kissing you back sloppily at first before he finds his rhythm. His hand continues massaging your breast, becoming more and more confident the deeper you kiss him.
Your tunic is thin enough to allow his unfiltered warmth to reach your skin. His touch is so gentle and yet filled with such passion. For someone who never held a woman's breasts before tonight, Seokjin knows exactly how to bewitch you.
"Seokjin", you break the kiss to moan his name, "Seokjin, I want more. Much more."
"What do you want?" he asks breathily.
"I want to have you. Bared."
"Oh."
Seokjin gulps.
"Do you want the same? You are allowed to deny me."
Seokjin lets out a small laugh, lowering his head giddily.
"I never did such a thing before", he whispers, "but I want to do it with you", he says, lifting his head to gaze at you with sparkling eyes, "I really want to do it."
He makes you smile.
"Just one question. I have one question."
"Ask me, my dearest."
"Will it hurt?"
"No, it will feel magical."
"Even more magical than a kiss?"
"Yes", you smile, "even more than that."
"I, I see", Seokjin blushes vividly, "oh by Frenya, this is making me fluster."
You giggle, "you are so precious", you gush, rubbing your hands up and down his chest, "so shall we take our bottoms off?"
Seokjin nods his head, "yes, I would like that."
And so you begin undressing.
"It's not like I haven’t seen you naked before, is it?" you joke, painting even more pink onto his cheeks.
He giggles shyly, lowering his eyes.
"Yes, I guess you have", he whispers, "but it’s different tonight, isn’t it?"
"Yes, it’s exciting", you say, placing your pants to the side.
You are on your knees. Seokjin is mirroring your position. His tunic is reaching him by his thighs, hiding his now exposed cock from your eyes. The dent is still visible however, drawing your eyes to it.
"You ahm", Seokjin begins.
You draw closer to him, "you look beautiful", you say, touching his chest.
"You too", he says, eyes lingering on your middle. Your tunic hides it from him as well.
"Do you want to see?"
"Can I really see it?" he is almost gasping the question.
In one swift movement you have taken off your tunic, throwing it behind you mindlessly.
"Oh, ahm, oh?" Seokjin lets out, eyes widened and racing all over your newly exposed body.
You pose for him, enjoying his undivided attention to the fullest.
"What do you think?"
"This, this…this is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Are you real?" he gushes, reaching out only to halt. His eyes flit up. "Can I touch?"
"Yes my dearest."
Seokjin exhales shakily, placing his hands on your waist while his eyes race over your chest.
"You feel so soft and warm. And, and your breasts are so…." he cradles them in his hands, "...beautiful", he whispers shakily. His eyes fill with the slightest of tears, "I missed out on so much", he croaks.
"Don't be upset. You have all the time in the world to catch up with all the things you missed out on", you assure him.
He smiles, dancing his thumbs over your nipples gently, "yes, I guess I have", his smile grows, "I am genuinely happy", he confesses and draws closer just to pull you into an adoring kiss.
You feel your knees wobble because of it, not having expected him to take initiative. You love that he did, losing yourself in the passionate dance of lips and eager tongues while your hands travel over his torso.
It happens that Seokjin loses his tunic at some point of this kiss, discarding it somewhere behind him. Your bodies chased each other instantly, your lips fell back into the dance. Seokjin kissed you even deeper after feeling your naked skin against his own.
Now you are both groping each other, hands on the other’s hips in a desperate battle of who gets to pull the other closer. His cock is rubbing between your stomachs, leaving wet imprints behind. Your own middle is wet, dripping down your inner thigh.
"I can't breathe", he whispers between tongue kisses.
"Neither can I", you answer him, "give me your hand."
Seokjin moves his head back to look at you in curiosity. He places his hand into your palm, tilting his head to the side.
"Do you want to feel how you affect me?"
"Yes please."
You guide his hand between your legs, making sure that two of his fingers part your soaked folds.
"You are wet", he gasps, widening his eyes.
"I know", you sigh, guiding his touch up to your clit. You show him how you enjoy it with your chest heaving up and down in a deep, shaky gasp, "that feels so good…"
"It does?" he gets out before he moves his fingers on his own, "like this? Is this how you did it?"
"Yes", you sigh, "just a little to the left."
Seokjin fixes his position, moaning with you as this makes you shudder in reaction.
"Right there", you sigh, tilting your head back, "oh Seokjin…"
"I can't believe that you are real", he whispers and overtaken by his emotions he chases you, lips claiming the emptiness of your neck and fingers exploring your wet cunt. He kisses you sloppily, moaning blissfully while his fingers rub circles into your clit.
"Yes, yes, oh yes", you chant, feeling your entire body sink into the hottest flames of pleasure.
It is not long and you tell Seokjin to bury two of his fingers deep inside your dripping hole. And Seokjin obeys, cursing under his breath because he expected everything but not for your core to be as warm and wet as she was. With your instructions, he begins moving his fingers while his thumb rubs your clit.
"You are so wet", he croaks, curling his fingers, "I can't believe you are real."
"It feels so good", you sigh, rewarding his perfect efforts by wrapping your hand around his aching length. You begin moving, forcing Seokjin’s touch to falter in pure shock.
"What- ah- what", he stutters, hand wrapping around your wrist and hips moving back in a desperate attempt to flee the unbearable burning of bliss.
"Relax. I can make you feel good too", you encourage him, smiling at him even if his fingers between your legs make it hard to function.
"This, this is so much", he keens, writhing in your hold.
"Do you want me to stop?"
"I, I don’t know yet."
"Then how about I do this?"
You move your hand up and down his length slowly, making him squeeze his eyes shut and whimper.
"How is that?" you ask him.
"Don't stop, please", he begs with his voice slightly pitched.
"I won’t", you promise him, running your hand up and down his length, "you are so beautiful. Such a good boy", you whisper, feeling his cock throb in reaction.
"Oh god", he keens, dropping his head in exhaustion, "oh god, oh god."
"I know, it feels like a lot doesn’t it?" you ask in a soothing voice, massaging his sensitive tip. It fits perfectly into your palm, wetting your skin with his excited pleasure.
Seokjin nods his head, chasing you with a roll of his hips. You hold him back with a gentle grip of his waist, caressing his skin as your fingers dance down his length again. You cup his balls, massaging them slowly.
"Very heavy", you tease lovingly, "you must have so much pressure built up over the years, mhm?"
Seokjin nods his head, letting out a breathy moan.
"Of course you do. That’s what I'm here for now, I’ll take such great care of you", you rasp, taking his cock again to jerk it slowly yet precisely.
"Please don’t stop, ah", he begs in a high-pitched moan.
"I won’t, my dearest. Keep moving your fingers. Can you do that for me?"
Seokjin obeys with a shaky moan and his lips parting in bliss. It is so hard to concentrate on pleasuring you, but he wants to do it. He wants to make you feel as good as you currently make him feel.
"A little to the right", you say.
Seokjin fixes his mistake, throbbing in your hand when you reward him with massages on his frenulum.
"There we go. You are such a diligent student. Such a good, wonderful boy", you praise, basking in the blissful shudder your sweet words send through his body.
You fall into a kiss just seconds later. It is more breathy moans and weak kisses than anything, but it is perfect the way it is. Weak lips, uncoordinated licks, more moans than kisses. All of it is an image of how you both feel. Too overtaken by pleasure to truly function and yet desperate for the other’s kiss. You can’t remember if you ever truly felt that desperate for a man's kiss. Maybe you never did. Seokjin feels so very right, oh so right.
"Keep going, just like this", you encourage him, feeling yourself shudder in bliss when he begins rubbing circles into your clit. His thumb is so soft, the pressure is just right. Maybe that tiny bit too strong, resulting in you dancing on the edge of overstimulation, but it feels so good to dance. It makes your highs feel that much more rewarding whenever you do.
"It's so hard to concentrate", Seokjin whimpers.
"I know, but keep going. You are doing such a great job", you whisper with unoccupied hand hooked behind his neck to keep his forehead resting against yours.
“___”, he moans, “___ it feels so good”, he keens, closing his eyes by letting them roll back.
“Yes, it really does”, you agree, closing your own eyes as a soft sigh slips past your parted lips.
To be so close to each other. It feels like a dream now that you are finally experiencing it. You may have found yourself daydreaming about how it would be to kiss him and touch him and make him feel good. Not much, because you feared that he might catch you in your crude thoughts, but whenever you did, you felt dizzy in desperation.
“Oh how I wanted this, Seokjin”, you sigh mindlessly.
“What do you mean?” he croaks, twitching in your hand.
“You are a dream”, you whispers, “my sweetest dream.”
Seokjin whimpers your name and kisses you. You are his dream too. His sweetest, dearest dream. For the longest time, Seokjin didn’t know why he felt the way he does about you. He couldn’t explain the flutters of his hearts, the tingles in his stomach, the desire to keep glancing at you whenever you weren’t looking. He couldn’t explain what all of those sensations meant for he never experienced them before. But he knows now. He knows that this is what being in love felt like. He really liked that feeling, wanting it to never ever stop.
Seokjin curls his fingers inside you, gasping into the kiss when this makes you clench around him.
“You are so warm”, he whimpers, chasing your taste with desperate licks.
“Seokjin”, his name was muffled by the kiss, but it was still clear in his ears. He kisses you even deeper because of it and you shudder in intense bliss.
“You are so tight”, he whispers, breaking the kiss because you gasped for air.
“I know”, your voice is pitched and barely wants to come out, “don’t stop, stay just like this.”
“What is happening? Why are you so…ah, tight”, he asks, struggling with his words because your hand begins to speed up around his length. His thighs shake in reaction, hot tension begins building up in his stomach.
“Do you feel the tension in your belly?” you ask him, swirling your hand around his leaking tip. It feels so hot under your touch, covering you with so much wetness.
“Yes”, he whimpers, curling his fingers desperately just so you keep rubbing him that way.
“That means you will orgasm soon. I feel the same.”
“Will it hurt?”
“No, it will feel like paradise”, you say and sigh, “Seokjin, I’m close”, you croak, pulling him back into the kiss.
Seokjin moans, thrusting into your fist because he felt like bursting. He wondered if something was wrong with him. Each time you rolled your thumb over his tip, his cock felt on fire and then when you stroked your hand down his shaft that fire spread to the rest of his body. Seokjin never felt that incredible before. It feels so good. It feels so, so good.
“Seokjin”, you whimper, body tensing and walls clenching around his fingers, “now.”
It starts off on your clit, spreading through the rest of your middle before the fire deep inside causes a chain of reactions. You moan loudly, pulling him close as your body begins chasing him in desperate rolls of your hips.
Seokjin sobs softly, “I can't hold back”, he confesses and then he swears that something unnatural happens to his body. His cock feels as if it goes up in flames, wet and hot liquid spurts out of him and the most peculiar part is that he doesn’t want it to stop. He wants it to continue.
Seokjin moans your name, sobs it again a second later, thrusts his hips into your hand, shakes uncontrollably.
“That's it, climax for me, that’s it”, you encourage him in deep growls, fingers almost bruising the back of his neck from how tightly you hold him as your own high prolongs because of his climax. It excites you just way too much. He looks so perfect when he finds release.
“O-oh god”, Seokjin gets out, falling around your neck once his orgasm stopped. He hugs you, shivering uncontrollably while he barely gets any air into his lungs, “W-what happened?”
You smile softly, wrapping your arms around him safely.
“Didn't that feel wonderful?”
“I, I don’t know. Oh god, I can’t breathe.”
You chuckle fondly, “lean onto me, my dearest. I'm right here.”
“Do you feel the same?”
“Yes, I feel so dizzy”, you say, closing your eyes to enjoy his warmth. You climaxed so wonderfully. Your whole body feels weak and so incredibly warm.
Seokjin shudders, releasing a big sigh of relief and happiness. He grows soft in your hold, hands squeezing your sides as his arms close further around you.
“This was so nice”, he whispers, “it scared me at first, but it was really nice.”
You smile, “trust me, you won’t feel scared soon. You'll probably grow quite addicted to the feeling.”
Seokjin nods his head, “I think so too. I already want it again.”
You laugh, moving back just enough that you could gaze at his face. Seokjin does the same, looking at you with droopy yet happy eyes.
“I see how it is”, you snicker, “oh Seokjin, I don’t think I'll ever let you go again”, you say.
“Good. I don’t want you to”, he whispers, “I can stay with you, can't I?”
“Yes, it would make me the happiest if you did.”
Seokjin smiles and cups your face.
“My world”, he sighs, giving you no time to answer him before he already has you lost in another kiss.
You spend most of the night exploring each other. And come the next morning, Seokjin wakes you up with his face between your legs and his cock pressing into the mattress. You spend the entire day in bed, showing him even more possibilities of pleasure while Seokjin listens and learns like the diligent student he is.
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This Week In BL - Everything is Awful or New or Both
Feb 2023 Wk 2
Being a highly subjective assessmen t of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.
Ongoing Series - Thai
My School President (Fri YT) ep 11 of 12 - It’s an ep 11 so we knew this was gonna be a downer. This was definitely a “date me date my friends” kind of situation. At this rate, GeminiFourth’s other characters in Chicken are going to kiss before TinnGun do. I love Tinn’s dad. Also, it looks like our a tiny little ship of crumbs is sailing. How cute is that!? Sunshine + sunshine! Bonza.
Bed Friend (Sat YT & iQIYI uncut) 1 of 8 - Fuck buddies get messy, AKA Between Us the second cumming only this time in an office (and on a desk). I have been waiting for James to hold down (or be held down in) a BL for years! All hail the new kings of high heat. BUCKLE UP I GOT A LOT TO SAY. I like that there’s a dark underbelly (*snicker*) of trauma to this one, it has a slightly a Japanese feel which suits mature characters and an office setting. King’s yearning worried eyes are glorious. Poor thing, he totally adores this beautiful broken fragile boy and doesn’t know how to capture his attention. I admit Net was the one I worried about with this pair. James was always gonna be great. It turns out, I didn’t have to worry. This is an awesome show and I fucking love it. It nearly scooped the top spot. Frankly this is the Office BL I have been WAITING for Thailand to give us.
NOTE: I watched both YT’s cut and iQIYI’s uncut version. (Anyone else feel odd using those terms under a high heat BL context?) I like YT’s better, mostly iQIYI’s interface is shit. Deets? There was a little extra from the “morning after regrets flashbacks” but not so much I think you’ll regret missing it. Unless you REALLY prefer high heat. The emotion of the sexual connection and Uea’s lonely submissive need was transmitted in both versions, but the iQIYI is slightly more MOAR.
Never Let Me Go (Tues YT) ep 10 of 12 - Flashbacks to the cutest boyfriends ever and then PAIN. All I can think is “thank fuck this was handed to Pond & Phuwin.” One of the world’s saddest executions of the sniff test trope. Meanwhile, Perth is SO GOOD but I wish Chopper would record his conversations with his dad. Look, we all know Chopper is gonna take his dad’s bullet for Nuengdiao, right? Oh well, if you didn’t know, I just told you.
Moonlight Chicken (Weds YT) 3-4 of 8 - The plot... erm... thickens. I told you Jim had a tragic backstory with an ex. And now it’s all gotten VERY messy. Sigh. Fourth & Gemini are cute, tho.
Hit Bite Love (Sat YouTube) ep 4-5 of 6 - I do like King & Burger. The idea of giving your perspective boyfriend your CV is ADORBS. Auditioning for the part, as it were. I would like it known that my sexual identity is chili (AKA spicy) henceforth. (My pronouns are MaxTul & sometimes Phi.) Look, this is an absurd show. Last ep it was BDSM 101, this ep we got a lesson on how to use a condom properly? AND why the closet is both necessary and damaging? I mean I applaud their educational endeavors but BL: The After School Special? Did I sign up for Degrassi Junior BL while I wasn’t looking?
Boyband (Thurs YT) 1 of 10 - BL drama about putting an idol boyband together. AKA how to make ABL suffer by combing favorite (celebrity romances, Kpop) and least favorite (bad singing) tropes. AND? I REALLY like it. It’s fun! What singing there is, is looped not live. So we in Cutie Pie territory. It’s easy to skip. The pairing is rich/poor and I like an other side of the tracks romance.
Ongoing Series - Not Thai
HIStory 5: Love in the Future (Taiwan Weds Viki) ep 8 of 10 (or 15&16 of 20) - Covid strikes. Boyfriends are worried. Omg they are so cute and hot and awkward. Tension in the office politics too. It’ll be okay, babies.
Jack o’Frost (Japan) ep 1 of 6 - After getting dumped, Ritsu has an accident and gets amnesia. Ikuya, his ex, struggles to help him regain his memories while wondering about the state of their relationship. But Ritsu falls in love with Ikuya all over again. Engaging opening but I’m just not sure about the premise.
It’s Airing But ...
Chains of Heart (Sat Gaga) 1 of 10 - Not dropping for me until tomorrow so it’ll be in next week’s round up I hope. Suspense thriller about a forest ranger, smugglers, amnesia, and lost love. Stars Haii (Cirrus in TT2) and Marc (My Gear & Your Gown in YYY). Adapted from a Y-novel of the same name by TJ Tommy.
My Beautiful Man 2 (Viki & Gaga) - Because there are only 4 eps, I decided to wait and binge this one.
Cafe In Love (Thai) 10 eps on Ch3+ - Thai pulp, stars the actor who played Noh’s best friend Ohm in Love Sick 2. When his coffee shop closes, a man tries everything to save it and falls in love along the way. I had a hunt but can’t find it.
Moments Of Love (Thai) Feb 14 Foremorfilm Production movie for cinema release. Was originally a series with Golf (609 Bedtime Story & The Eclipse) to direct, and SmartJames (LeonPhob from Don't Say No) to star. BUT is now something totally different. We’re all confused.
Destiny Seeker (Tues WeTV ) 10 eps - it’s not on any WeTV I can get ahold of. Engineering student Songkram is head of dorm 3, for "strong & athletic" students. Aye is head of dorm 2, for the "good looking" students. Aye used to be Songkram's tutor and friend, but they fell apart after becoming dorm heads. Aye is actually in love with Songkram but thinks Sonkram likes someone else. Songkram actually likes Aye. So, Bad Buddy the pulp rebirth meets that weird Japanese “girls-crossdressing-as-boys for love and infiltrating secret society of hotness” tradition.
Our Winter (Thai & Korea ?) - TutorYim vehicle supposedly airing now. Search me.
The End Of The World, With You AKA Bokura no Micro na Shuumatsu (Japan Sun Gaga) - DNFing this one. It’s way too high heat for them to end it happily and full of dark stuff like cheating, suicide, depression, abuse. I actively HATE one of the main characters and mildly dislike the other. Easier to just stop watching.
Next Week Looks Like This:
2023 forthcoming BL master post. (see comments some are inaccurate, NOT UPDATED)
THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS
My favorite thing to happen in BL this week. Possibly EVER.
Honestly, such a weird little After School Special. (All Hit Bite Love.)
SAIL MY LITTLE CRUMBS! SAIL!!!!
You TELL her, Paw. (All My School President)
We stan the out boy. Own it, babycakes. (Moonlight Chicken.)
(last week)
Current Kpop earworm? Beautiful by BEAST, look, sometimes we gotta go back to our roots. Check out the legends for what they were, criticize my taste later. Fuck I miss those times when everyone had to sing live and the one with the hot mic had to stop dancing to catch his breath because, ya know, he still had to sing.
ALL that said, you slackers should check out HELLO GLOOM - Dancing In The Dark. I alway said IMFACT was the most woke Kpop group, now they broken up(?) nice to see ‘em solo in queer fuck-off style.
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#this week in BL#bl news#BL gossip#upcoming BL#best BL#new BL#BL reviews#Thai BL#korean bl#Taiwanese BL#Japanese BL#live action yaoi#Rakutan Viki#gagaoolala#GMMTV#Kpop earworm#My School President#Bed Friend#Never Let Me Go#Moonlight Chicken#Hit Bite Love#boyband the series#HIStory 5: Love in the Future#Jack o’Frost#HELLO GLOOM#Dancing In The Dark#IMFACT#Youtube
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Pinpoint.
Daryl Dixon x F Reader.
Notes: i'm back on my bullshit . this is set in the same universe as hierarchy of needs, giving more context to reader and daryl's relationship because they're cuties <3
Tags: Farm/prison/Alexandria era, some not SFW implications, typical TWD horror elements sprinkled throughout.
Word count: 7.3k.
i.
It’s a hot, Georgian summer day, the kind that makes your clothes stick to your skin from how profusely you’re sweating. Daryl stands to his full height after putting the finishing touches on his tent. It’s a somewhat messy job, considering the frantic state he was in while working on it, but he can’t bring himself to care. He haphazardly tosses his stake hammer onto a nearby patch of grass and rummages through the rest of his belongings.
Frustration bleeds into his every movement. From his bag’s zipper getting stuck to some of his tools refusing to budge without a great exertion of force. He huffs, having half a mind to call it a night and deal with this in the morning. He decides against it when he remembers how far removed he is from the main group. Waltzing back over so he can ask to borrow supplies defeats the entire purpose of him taking up residence on a secluded section of the farm.
A twig crunching alerts him to someone — or something’s — oncoming approach. He whips his head in the sound’s direction, ready to sling his crossbow into place should it be necessary.
He doesn’t relax when he realizes it’s your figure growing closer. If anything, it adds to his tension, the knowledge you’re going to see him like this. That you’re going to witness him at his worst. Ever since Shane forced the doors of the barn open, Daryl swears the part of his brain capable of thought turned off. It had to. Otherwise, his mind would haunt him, jeering at his many failures.
You’re approaching an uncaged beast. He knows it, he figures you’re smart enough to know it too.
So that begs the question: why are you here?
“Hey,” you greet, your voice tentative. “I brought you some dinner.”
He doesn’t respond or so much as acknowledge your existence. He forces his hands to work, to find something to do, anything that’d give you the impression he’s busy and can’t be bothered with whatever this is. Mustering up the words to communicate the sentiment sounds exhausting. If you insist on hanging around, it’ll only be a matter of time until he snaps and says something he’ll regret upon later reflection. The Dixon blood that runs through his veins is akin to molten lava, boiling and ready to incinerate anything that dares come into contact with it.
He hears the clinking of silverware, you’ve set the plate down on a pushed-over log. He’d pray that’s the end of it, if he thought God hadn’t made a point of tuning him out.
“Daryl?”
Any other day, he’d bask in the soft warmth that is your voice. It’s such a pleasant sound, a dulcet tone that makes every song he’d ever listened to seem shrill in comparison. Right now, however, it’s akin to little needles pricking his skin. It hurts and he doesn’t know how to make it stop. He’s a hot mess, a ball of volatile emotions tumbling every which way. His mind’s eye conjures up images specifically tailored for his torment.
The Cherokee rose. Carol’s howl of agony upon seeing what became of her precious little girl. That awful, guttural snarling, milky white eyes set into a concaving skull, putrid, rotting flesh, and limp walk as the child Daryl swore to find hobbled forward.
How long was she out there? Did she starve? Did she curl up at night, whimpering her momma’s name, waiting for someone to rescue her who never came?
He’ll never know. The quiet pain she endured died when she did.
“The hell are you looking at?” Daryl demands, his nostrils flaring and chest heaving. “Got somethin’ to say, huh? Well, go on then. Spit it out already. I ain’t got all day.”
The vitriol pouring from his mouth has no business being directed at you, he knows that. Still, it comes out regardless, his tongue faster than his common sense. He can’t see your expression — he’s purposefully looking everywhere else — but he reckons that should scare you off. Have you running for the hills with your tail between your legs.
Whether that’s truly what he wants, he can’t say for certain. He does know it’ll be for the best in the long run. Whatever juvenile feelings he’s been harboring toward you should be crushed before they develop into something more. It won’t be as simple as ripping off a bandaid if he lets things go on this way. If he doesn’t, he’ll be too far gone; having to do without you would be worse than getting torn limb for limb. The level of dependency frightens him to the core.
There’s nothing practical for you to accomplish by taming the wild beast. It isn’t like back at the quarry, where your next meal depended on Daryl’s hunting more often than not. There’s livestock here, fresh produce, canned goods. Whatever value he had to you then is nil. It’s painful, to the degree his chest physically aches, but that’s just how it is. Merle told him so. Said the only reason you gave a redneck asshole like himself the time of day was due to some survival instinct. A pretty girl like you wouldn’t have paid him any mind otherwise.
If only Daryl had listened then, it’d make this whole song and dance infinitely easier. He could run his mouth, tell you off, whip up curses that’d make even a sailor blush.
For some reason, he just can’t bring himself to.
“I, uh, brought something else. Other than food, I mean.”
There’s a shift in your tone. It’s less guarded, more conversational, as if he were an old pal you happened upon and were just warming up to again.
Finally, he gathers the courage to get a good look at you. You’ve pulled your hair back into a ponytail, some stray strands framing your pretty face and kissing your cheeks. Your eyes are glazed over with worry, and something else too, an emotion no one has ever directed at him before. He fears putting a name to it. Beneath the dying sun, he catches the near imperceptible wetness of your cheeks. His breath hitches in his throat. You must’ve finished crying recently.
Today proved there’s plenty to cry about. If he can have it his way, though, he doesn’t want to be a reason added to the ever-expanding list.
Daryl gives you a grunt, proving you have his attention, as if you ever didn’t. The change in your countenance is immediate, if not perplexing. Why does his approval make you look like you’d just won the lottery? You shouldn’t care what some backwoods asshole like himself thinks, he knows he sure as hell wouldn’t try so hard if he were in your position. Yet here you are, approaching him with a bashful expression that has no business being as endearing as it is.
You unveil the surprise from behind your back with a little flourish, that had it not been for the events of the day, would’ve been far more enthusiastic. Regardless, it’s cute enough that he damn near smiles.
From the shape, he can determine that it’s meant to be an arrow. The dimensions are exactly the same as the type his crossbow takes, which does away with the mystery of why you asked to borrow one of his arrows earlier this week. You must’ve made it a point to replicate what he uses to the best of your ability. The wooden shaft has been smoothed out, aside from a few bumps. He can tell you used your knife to whittle the tip into a sharp point by the imprints.
When you pass it over to him, he notes the bandaids on your hands that most definitely weren’t there days prior. A consequence of working with wood, undoubtedly.
Daryl doesn’t think he could form proper words if it was demanded of him with a gun to his head. He searches the recesses of his memory for the last time someone gave him a gift — a handmade one, no less — and draws a blank. He stares at the labor of love unblinkingly. The pain that once resided in his chest cavity is made light, almost fluttery.
If you told him you’d placed him under a spell, he would’ve believed you.
“Admittedly, it’s not the best, but it’s better than my other attempts,” you laugh in an attempt to mask your embarrassment. It’s a habit you display in the rare instances you aren’t sure what to say. “I wanted to thank you, somehow. In a way that’s tangible.”
He raises his head. “Why?”
The word comes out rushed, almost abrasive, yet there’s no anger to be found on his face. You must be able to tell, for you don’t cower. You don’t treat him like a ticking time bomb, an errand boy, or some wounded animal. His older brother couldn’t have been more wrong. You weren’t nice to him back then because you stood something to gain from it — you just like being around him, for whatever inconceivable reason.
The dead rising again makes more sense to him than that.
“Well, I could prattle off a long list, but I’ll spare you the embarrassment. Hm… if I had to sum it up, I guess I’d say… you make the world feel less scary.”
He’s once again left speechless at your candor. When things are ‘normal’, whatever that word means nowadays, you’re always joking around with him. Being your little charming self that draws people in like a beacon to lost ships at sea. As much as he enjoys that side of you, he’s always felt there’s more. Some aspect of yourself you’ve made difficult to see by design. While he can’t pinpoint the coordinates exactly, he can roughly guess the location.
You take on too much of others so you can forget yourself.
The voice you used toward the latter half of your sentence, the quiet, solemn tinge that contrasts how you normally present yourself; it’s the hidden glimmer he’s been searching for.
“I’m sure I’ve taken up enough of your time, so I’ll be heading back now.”
While saying this, you turn around, and he finds himself wishing that he could see your face. His thoughts are too muddled to make sense of everything. He remembers the weight in his hands, how yours got scratched up so it could be there.
Daryl calls your name. You stop, looking over your shoulder with all the patience in the world. More patience than he deserves.
“… Thanks.”
It comes out more like a grunt, a rumbling that originates deep in his chest and from the heart.
“No, thank you.”
With that, you leave him be, his head feeling light and face burning up like he’d caught a nasty fever.
ii.
It’s an unusually quiet day.
The persistent rattle of the chain link fences has eased into a lull, granting a reprieve for those taking shelter behind them. The mood around the prison is a pleasant one — as pleasant as it can be, during the apocalypse — contentment cautiously settling in. The past few runs have been bountiful and earned without the shedding of human blood, the number on Beth’s ‘x days without an accident’ growing higher.
Rick details some equipment that’d aid in his farming endeavors to Daryl, who dutifully commits the tools listed to memory. While things are looking up, Daryl’s never been the type to settle or grow complacent. He wants this place to be the best it can be.
Their conversation about expanding the pen’s fence comes to a premature end when a young man named Ryan runs over. Daryl recruited him a few weeks prior, a benevolent act that’s really come back to bite him in the ass. Although Ryan acknowledges Daryl with a nod of his head, he focuses his attention on Rick.
“Hey, sorry to interrupt,” Ryan starts, and Daryl has to bite back a rebuttal about how if he was truly sorry, he wouldn’t have done it. “Maggie told me she saw [First] headed this way. Have either of you seen her?”
If Daryl’s glowering wasn’t obvious before, it certainly should be now. Does this guy have nothing better to do than chase others around and interrogate them over your whereabouts? The man’s supposed to be a mechanic or whatever, Daryl imagines there are a thousand more productive ways he could utilize his time. Instead, he opts to follow you around like some dejected puppy, a fact that grates Daryl to no end.
Daryl turns to stare Rick down, as if in silent warning. Officer Friendly must not notice the leer, or if he does, he makes a point of ignoring it. “Actually—”
“Ain’t seen her,” Daryl interrupts, his voice more of a guttural growl than anything else.
Rick raises an eyebrow but doesn’t confirm or deny the claim.
Ryan glances between the two of them before offering a nervous laugh. “Alright, well, if you do, please tell her I was hoping we could talk.”
Daryl genuinely has to bite back a groan at this. He’d sooner take a bullet than help matchmake this nuisance with his best-friend-who-he-swears-he-isn’t-romantically-interested-in-whatsoever. Rick, always the mediator, swears to do just that. This satisfies Ryan enough for him to run off and be annoying elsewhere. Once the interloper is out of earshot, Rick turns to face Daryl with raised eyebrows and a tilted head.
“We haven’t seen her?” Rick repeats Daryl’s previous words back, though his intonation conveys disbelief.
“Nah, not if he’s the one asking.”
Fortunately, Ryan just missed you by a few minutes. Whereas Daryl looked at Ryan with nothing but disdain for interrupting his conversation with Rick, the same couldn’t be said when you were the one doing it. Hell, you could wake him up in the middle of the night just because you wanted to and he wouldn’t have a single complaint on his tongue. You came over to say that ‘you must absolutely, under no circumstances be nominated for the council’ then not so subtly threw in the fact you flunked AP government for good measure.
This whole business of forming a council to make important decisions at the prison has been the bane of your existence. Not due to any opposition to the idea on your behalf, but because people were suggesting that you should be a part of it. Daryl’s stuck in a similar predicament. In your free time, you’ve been flitting around, running what you’ve dubbed ‘an anti-campaign campaign.’ Your core tenets are as such, according to the long-winded explanation Daryl happily sat through: raising taxes by 100% (you made a face when he pointed out taxes no longer exist), working for the sole interest of your lobbyists rather than the working class, and mandatory attendance to Carol’s reading sessions for all ages.
Needless to say, you’re very passionate about not being put in a position of power.
“Why? She say that he’s bothering her or something?” Rick’s voice goes from teasing to serious in record time. Daryl’s protectiveness over you could only be rivaled by Rick’s, who has taken to viewing you as a younger sister or something. The former sheriff often expresses his gratitude for the way you can make Carl laugh and smile with ease. This quality of yours has earned you the affectionate nickname ‘Miss Social Butterfly’ amongst your inner group.
“Doesn’t need to.”
And back to teasing Rick goes. “You just know?”
Never one to back down, Daryl replies, “I just know.”
“Mhm. I'm sure you do.”
“You got somethin’ you wanna say?” Daryl challenges, although he can’t say he isn’t used to this teasing by now. If it isn’t Carol giving him shit for how he looks at you, then it’s Rick. He’s yet to decide which one is worse to endure.
Rick gives it some thought, his face morphing into one of serious contemplation. “You’d be good for another. Hey, don’t look at me like that, I mean it. You ground her. Bring her down when her head is a little too far up in the clouds. And she… she brings out the best in you. People sometimes go their whole lives without ever finding a connection like that.”
As if Rick needed to point any of this out when it’s what he thinks about all the damn time.
You mesh together surprisingly well. At first, he told himself he only put up with your presence, but that’s a lie that aged poorly. He found himself orbiting in your vicinity more often than not. It might be a bit creepy of him to admit, but just watching you go about your day is a delight. You wear your heart on your sleeve. If something annoys you, you scrunch your nose up in the cutest little display; if you’re excited, there are practically stars in your eyes as you animatedly chat about what’s on your mind. Then there’s how you sing to yourself when you’re certain no one is around, your voice pretty enough to rival an angel—
Alright, maybe it’s more than a bit creepy. Who can blame him, though, when you have the audacity to go around being as cute as you are? It can’t be good for his heart.
Daryl only responds once he’s certain there’s no one in the immediate vicinity.
“She doesn’t look at me like that, man.”
Speaking the insecurity out loud hurts no less than when it skulks about in his mind. He’ll entertain himself with thoughts of a world where he gets to call you his. Some idyllic fantasy land where he gets to lavish you with all his affection, hugging you tight and feeling your soft body against his, kissing you like parting promised instant death. Indeed, he’ll entertain these whimsical thoughts, but he’s not foolish enough to think they’ll ever actually happen.
“She doesn’t?” Rick doesn’t bother to hide his amusement. “And here I thought hunters were s’posed to have good eyesight. C’mon, Daryl. She lights up when you enter a room. She gives you those eyes.”
“Eyes?” Daryl repeats back, equal parts confused and intrigued.
“Yeah, the eyes. That dreamy, far-off look women get.”
Daryl scoffs, finding the mere notion of it inconceivable. “Quit screwin’ with me already.”
Rick puts his hands up in defense. “There’s no screwin’ happening here, Daryl. Just the truth. Don’t know why it’s so hard for you to accept that.”
He’s about to bite back by saying he can’t accept what isn’t true, but he finds himself unable to voice the words. There’s a foolish part of him that wants to believe what Rick’s telling him. Despite a rough start, he’s come to respect the man. Rick isn’t the type to tell him all of this unless it’s in good faith.
Say you do, by some stroke of luck, feel something for him. He doesn’t know the first thing about what to do in a romantic relationship. His parents sure as hell didn’t set a good example. He’s got a short temper, struggles to communicate what’s on his mind, and tends to shut people out if they get too close to comfort. Daryl knows plenty about you — your favorite color, movie, band, what your old hopes and dreams used to be, what they are now — yet he barely utters a word about himself.
Not for a lack of trying on your part. You being the freakishly perceptive woman you are, have gleaned a few things, such as his lifelong affinity for the outdoors and that he had a rough upbringing, but that’s about it. For all your impressive ability to exercise tact, he’s still snapped at you a few times. Sure, he’d immediately feel awful and try to make it up to you; that doesn’t change what he did. You don’t deserve to put up with that. Not when you could get anyone wrapped around your finger if you tried hard enough.
“Alright, alright, I’ll back off already. Doesn’t mean I’ve changed my mind about anything I said, though,” Rick places a hand on Daryl’s shoulder and squeezes. “Just give it some thought.”
Daryl offers a stiff nod, deciding to leave it at that.
Unbeknownst to Rick (or maybe he does know, sly bastard), Daryl doesn’t need to be told to think about you.
It’s essentially his full-time job at this point.
iii.
Daryl isn’t sure if this is a blessing or a curse.
From an objective point of view, the situation isn’t ideal, albeit falling shy of harrowing. You and Daryl are currently both situated in a closet of a pharmacy, waiting out a large gathering of walkers. Before Daryl had shut you both in here for extra safety, he surmised the miniature herd would dispense come morning, so long as they continue uselessly meandering forward. Until then, there’s nothing much to do aside from staying put and staying quiet.
He has a flashlight, but you suggested he turn it off since there’s no real need for it. He acquiesced, which leads into the present. The two of you are sitting shoulder to shoulder in the dark, your bodies still coming down from the adrenaline-induced high of fleeing from the dead.
You take a sip from your canteen and then hold it out for him. He grumbles a ‘thank you’, takes the cool container that feels heavenly against his clammy skin, and drinks far less than his body desires. It wouldn’t be wise to put a decent dent in your water supply if you’re both going to be camping out for the night. An admittedly juvenile thought occurs to him when you slide the cap back into place — how you’ve shared an indirect kiss. It hurts his pride that the concept makes him blush as if he were a starry-eyed school kid.
This isn’t helped by the fact he could taste the remnants of your favorite cherry chapstick on the bottle’s rim. You made an offhand comment about favoring the item once, and ever since then, he’s kept a sharp eye out while on runs. Putting in the extra effort was always worth it when it came to you. While he’d like to think he’s above doing things just for gratitude, you challenge the notion. When you’re grateful, you get the biggest smile on your face, the kind that highlights the apples of your cheeks. Sometimes you’ll even get so wrapped up in your enthusiasm that you’ll give him a hug (once your friendship was at a point you deemed such a display acceptable).
His traitorous mind wanders. What would it be like to taste you without a proxy? He’s studied the shape of your lips with more determination than all his years in school combined. He’s certain his imagination could never come close to capturing the bliss of the real thing, the utter softness that he’d do anything to experience for himself.
Truly, this isn’t ideal, but he’s decided to take a page from your book and be optimistic about it.
Daryl can feel your body against his. From what he can tell, there’s a touch more room to move aside if you feel so inclined; and still, you remain firmly planted by his side. Shoulder to shoulder, thigh to thigh. He smells the light floral shampoo he got for you a few weeks back and the cocoa shea butter you borrow from Maggie. He gets a kick out of watching how you interact with her, and just about anyone, in fact. You jokingly refer to your close friends as your ‘underground network for trading contraband’.
He’s pretty sure you guys just trade clothes and the like, but he never has the heart to rain on your parade.
A few minutes pass, in which you’re both able to get your breaths back.
“Morning, huh?” You whisper, ever mindful of your surroundings.
Daryl keeps his volume similarly low. “Yeah. They’re all headin’ in one direction. Should be clear by then.”
You hum. While he wishes he could see your pretty face, the darkness does well to disguise his own countenance; your uncharacteristically lukewarm response has him frowning. Daryl knows you like the back of his hand, courtesy of spending the past year or so together. Something’s troubling you. It isn’t common — mainly because you try so damn hard to hide it — but he can see past your façade where others can’t. It’s times like these when he envies your ability to comfort others. You have a knack for knowing what to say, how to say it, and when to say it.
How should he help the one who is always helping others?
Daryl gets your attention by saying your name.
“You alright?”
“I’m all good here. And you?”
His frown deepens. That isn’t what he meant and he doesn’t know how to correct himself without coming off as heavy-handed. If it were anyone else, he’d give up treading this unfamiliar territory, but it’s you. The person who can make his heart race and stomach do somersaults.
“Nah, I mean…” he trails off, wincing at himself, “Are you alright?”
Great, well, that just about makes everything crystal fucking clear, doesn’t it? The ensuing silence makes him wish he’d kept his mouth shut. You’re both going to be here for at least eight hours at a minimum, the least he could do is not make the experience excruciatingly awkward. He’s not some shrink that knows how to skillfully talk about feelings, he barely knows what to do with his own. He should’ve left this to Carol or Maggie, even Rick would’ve done a better job. But no, he had to go and play the hero—
“I didn’t fail AP government.”
“Huh?” Daryl squints at you, wondering where the hell that admission came from.
“I said I did, but I didn’t,” you insist, curling both your legs up and hugging them against your chest. Daryl notices you do this when there’s something heavy weighing on you. “I got, like, a ninety-four, I think.”
He snorts, despite knowing this is a trap meant to redirect his attention. You’re good at keeping people at arm’s length when you want to. He’d be a hypocrite if he called you out on it.
“I’m sure ya did, Miss Goodie Two-Shoes.”
“It’s always ‘Miss Social Butterfly’, ‘Miss Goodie Two-Shoes’… what if I’m a Mrs?”
Daryl thinks his heart may have temporarily stopped. “Don’t see no ring.”
“It’s dark in here, Daryl.”
“Mean before this,” he rolls his eyes. He tells his stupid heart to calm down. There’s no way you’re married, you would’ve mentioned that ages ago. You’re just messing with him. You have to be. That’s your modus operandi.
He can practically hear the petulant pout in your voice when you speak next.
“Is it so hard to imagine? I’m an absolute delight.”
Damn woman, playing mind games with him. If he didn’t know any better, he’d think you were flirting with him. That isn’t possible, though. Absolutely not. You’re just a coy little thing. You offered to propose to Maggie yourself if Glenn kept beating around the bush (Daryl almost choked on his drink when overhearing this). Being playful with your friends is like second nature to you.
“Mhm, no doubtin’ it. When’s it gonna be your turn at the altar, then?”
“This Saturday, if the weather’s nice,” you reply without missing a beat. “You’re welcome to attend. Formal wear is required, of course. And presents. I want an espresso machine, but will settle for a Keurig.”
“Who’s the unlucky man?” Daryl asks, as if he wouldn’t trade anything under the moon and stars to be the one you promise yourself to til death do you part.
“Jesus.”
This gets a laugh from him that he has to cover with his hand. “Jesus?”
“According to Hershel, the church is Jesus’ bride, so yeah. I’m going for a literal interpretation here.”
He shakes his head. “You gotta stop attendin’ them Bible group sessions.”
“Hey, I’d like to see you turn a request from Hershel down.”
Daryl doesn’t get the opportunity to respond to this — you beat him to the punch.
“Actually, that’s just about the heart of the issue,” you mumble, the glow of your typical effulgent disposition fading. “I can’t say no to people. It’s a struggle, anyway. I’ll think of how to soften the blow and end up making concessions I never wanted to make. Hershel asked me to reconsider my ‘no thank you’ to the council thing. For some reason or another, I said I would.”
Daryl mulls over your words. There’s no lighthearted veneer to distract from the main contents, you’re baring a part of yourself to him that you normally go to lengths to conceal. It reminds him of that sweltering evening back at the farm. He was too far in his head to offer you any significant help then, a fact that’s been a perpetual thorn in his side. Almost selfishly, he wants to be the person you rely on. Your anchor when the waters get too rough. Not just for the intimate connection it’d nourish between you, but so you’ll have someone to go to when you can’t navigate matters by yourself.
He’d be that for you in a heartbeat.
Well, he’d try his best at it, at least.
“Why don’t ya wanna be part of it?” Daryl questions. It occurs to him then that you’ve never given an actual concrete reason.
“I’m not a leader,” you reply. He opens his mouth, ready to passionately disagree, but you’re faster. “I care way too much about what others think of me. It’s funny, right? Society’s fallen, there are cannibalistic corpses wandering around, and I’m still hung up over such a petty non-issue. It’s stupid.”
“… It ain’t stupid,” Daryl reassures, his voice low, emanating sincerity. He wishes he could happen upon some perfect combination of words that’d whisk your woes away, but he knows it’s more complicated than that. The way you’re talking about it tells him that this has been a grievance of yours for a long time.
He hears you exhale sharply.
“Thank you, Daryl.”
“Didn’t do nothin’,” he can’t stop the words from tumbling haphazardly from his mouth. There you’re going with that unearned expression of gratitude again. He wasn’t able to play any vital role, finding the abundance of platitudes swimming around in his head nowhere near acceptable to be spoken aloud.
You elbow his side. “Not true. I know what I said… it’s a lot to take in. There’s no cut-and-dry solution. I’m glad you didn’t try to come up with one. And that you don’t think it’s stupid. I know you wouldn’t lie to me, so… hearing you say that makes me feel better. Hence the thank you.”
Daryl has to replay your words a few times for the sheer magnitude of them to sink in. Do you really place that much value in what he says?
This grand revelation is swiftly dethroned when you rest your head on his shoulder.
His muscles go stiff at first, out of instinct, but he relaxes remarkably fast. He can feel your hair tickling his cheek, the soft warmth from your body. You want to be close to him. You actively choose to be close to him. Physically, and emotionally, you reveal segments of yourself that no one else has the luxury of witnessing. Daryl almost thinks of himself as a fool for how long it’s taken him to realize this. Merle’s mockery of his adoration for you and his own insecurities have blinded him to the truth.
His brother didn’t know the first damn thing about you.
Should this pivotal interaction be of any proof, apparently Daryl has much to learn himself.
It’s a good thing you’re his favorite subject.
iv.
Nightmares have long since crossed over into the realm of reality.
Daryl’s no stranger to the horrors that lurk in the dark and prowl in the daylight. He’d witness them before the world went to hell and after. Consequently, he could withstand a lot, witnessing scenes that’d break others without shedding a tear. It isn’t because he doesn’t feel, but because in those moments, he’s so hellbent on survival, he can block everything else out.
This isn’t one of those cases.
He can faintly register that you’re in front of him now, your glassy eyes showcasing your worry.
It’s morning. The sun is soft, the breeze softer. The terrors of the night have concluded. Men lay dead, strewn out on the road, one with a chunk taken out of his neck. It’s brutal, the stench of viscera and rot permeating in the air, even after they left the gruesome scene. It clings to his nose and refuses to leave. You’re kneeling in front of him now, murmuring words that won’t register. He hears a rip and faintly registers that you’ve torn a section of your already tattered shirt.
You raise the fabric to his bruised face, dabbing it where dry blood has gathered. In this particular instance, most of it is his.
Neither of you utters a word.
What is there to say? To do? Daryl knows he can’t remain in this stupefied state much longer, if not for his sake, then for yours.
You dab some water on your makeshift cloth. You gently follow the counters of his face, treating him as if he were made of porcelain, your eyebrows furrowing together in concentration while you work. It stings when brushing over the fresh cuts on his face, yet he doesn’t wince. He almost thinks he deserves the pain, for traveling with the bastards that did this to you. To Michonne, Rick, and Carl. When he dreamed of the slim chance of being reunited with you after the prison fell, it wasn’t supposed to be like this. Never like this.
Once you’re satisfied, you pull away. You don’t stand up to leave, however. You stay right where you are, sitting on the ground, your face inches from his. Inspecting, searching. For what, he couldn’t say. He can make out each fleck of color in your eyes. They’re tired, he notices.
But they’re still you.
You raise shaking hands to cup both sides of his face. Tears gather by your lower lash line, glimmering in the morning sunlight like diamonds. Your lower lip trembles as you try to hold it in. A lump builds in his throat, the previous night serving as a reminder that he can’t always be the one to protect you, no matter how hard he tries. He wants to shield you from everything. Every hurt, disappointment, or slightest instance of pain. If he could, he’d take them all for you.
Unable to hold back a choked sob, you bury your nose into his chest. His response is immediate — he wraps his arms around your form, steadying you, bringing you closer — his actions not colored by the slightest hesitation. It’s almost an involuntary movement on his behalf. He doesn’t think, he just does. You cling to him, your hands fisting into the fabric of his shirt, clutching him like your life depended on it. Your fervor is only matched by his.
Daryl rests his chin on top of your head, running a hand up and down your back while you ride out your emotions. The world itself could crumble and fall to pieces by his side; he’d pay it no mind. Not when you’re here, in front of him, alive. Your skin is warm. Your heart beats a steady rhythm. Your chest rises and falls with each shuddering breath. It’s a fight to live and you’re still in the ring, determined to trudge on.
“I’m so glad you’re okay,” you mumble, over and over again, chanting it as if it were a prayer. “So glad… so, so glad…”
He’s practically squeezing you by this point, but if you mind, you don’t mention it. He keeps expecting your image to fade away like a taunting mirage in the desert. To wake up in a cold sweat and with the knowledge that having you was nothing but a dream.
No such development occurs.
You’re here, he’s found you, and you’ve found him.
“Don’t go. Don’t ever leave me again,” your pleas penetrate deep into his soul where he locks them away for safekeeping.
“I won’t,” he promises. Perhaps he shouldn’t, given how uncertain he is of his ability to keep it, but he does anyway. “‘S alright, [First]. I’m here. Ain’t goin’ nowhere. It’s gonna be alright.”
He’ll fight like a man possessed to ensure it.
v.
You’re standing over a marble countertop when he finds you.
Daryl didn’t have to exert a great amount of effort to track you down, he figured you wouldn’t be going far after yesterday’s events. The past twenty-four hours have been surreal to him. The world had denied him much but offered you as recompense. This expiation almost has him wondering if everything he’d endured was worth it to get to this point.
He’s suffered for you, bled for you; now he wants to live for you.
Starting here at your quaint home in Alexandria.
It’s easy to catch you by surprise when you’re so fixated on your task; rereading piles of cards from yesterday. His Mrs. Social Butterfly is as well-loved as ever. He takes care in sneaking up on you from behind, allowing his eyes to wander over the shapely expanse of your bare legs. You’re wearing an old flannel shirt of his, the fabric enveloping you. This fulfillment of one of his many you-related fantasies frays his brain. You’re a damn dream made manifest.
His ploy is successful — you don’t sense his encroaching presence until he’s behind you, large palms settling on the lovely swell of your hips. You gasp and attempt to twist your torso around. He holds you firmly in place, not ready to give up on having you like this just yet. Recognition eases you into a sense of security. You laugh at your own expense, shaking your head and leaning back into his chest.
“I was about ready to clobber you,” you sound so carefree, so content. “Now that wouldn’t do. I can’t have you filing for divorce less than a day after our marriage.”
Daryl pays special attention to your neck, adoring it as a painter would his canvas. Fading love bites litter the skin. He retraces his marks with his lips. It appeases the primal part of him that wants nothing more than to showcase that you’re his woman, that those sorry bastards who eye you up don’t have the slimmest chance. Your heart belongs to him just as much as his belongs to you. The organ has your name embedded so deep within it, its presence is integral to keeping it beating.
“Ain’t getting rid of me that easily,” Daryl’s voice is deep and gravelly with sleep. He watches the goosebumps forming on your skin with amusement, knowing full well what his voice in the morning does to you. The ticklish sensation of his stubble rubbing against you has you unsuccessfully fighting back laughter.
“H-Hey, that should be my line. I take it you’re not fed up with me yet then?”
“Nah. Never.”
“What about tomorrow?”
“Nope.”
“And the day after tomorrow? Any buyer’s remorse then?”
“Difficult fuckin’ woman,” he spins you around with ease, the sight of your pretty smile making his body feel like it’s floating. He genuinely can’t fathom that you’re actually his wife. “Sounds t’ me like you’re tryna back out.”
You secure your arms around his neck, tilting your head in that playful way which nearly drives him mad. “Oh, you caught me!”
He rolls his eyes at your typical theatrics. “Ya liked me enough last night.”
“I’ve been told I’m an excellent actress.”
“Really? That’s what that was?” Daryl raises an eyebrow, challenging you. “All that moanin’ and beggin’ for me to fuck ya?”
Watching how you squirm with embarrassment at his unfiltered comments almost makes him forgive you for the infraction. Almost. His pride as a man is on the line.
“Hm… maybe we need to do it again so I can remember for certain?” You accentuate the suggestion with a wink.
You’re a little vixen alright. He can’t bring himself to complain, not when you’re looking up at him like that from beneath your eyelashes. For some reason or another, this line of thought causes a ripple effect, taking him back a ways.
“Huh. This must be what Rick meant,” he mutters, more to himself than you.
“Pardon?” You question. The sharp change in subject is unlike him, that’s more your style. Heat creeps up his face and to his ears. He can utter the most filthy talk with no inhibitions, but confessing to how long he’s been whipped for you is another beast entirely. Knowing you, you won’t let the topic go until your curiosity has been sated. For this reason, he relinquishes himself to his fate.
“A while back… I was talking about ya with Rick. At the prison. He was tryna convince me you felt the same… said ya gave me ‘the eyes’. Thought he was spoutin’ bullshit.”
You throw your head back and laugh that melodious laugh of yours, the one he swears sounds better than an angelic chorus. “Well, seeing as Rick walked me down the aisle yesterday, I guess he was onto something. Took you long enough to notice.”
He grunts in agreement. “Yeah. Sure did.”
“I thought you said the man who’d marry me would be unlucky?”
“Nah, I’d be the unlucky bastard then.”
You rise on your tiptoes to give him a chaste kiss. “So would I.”
Daryl wonders when exactly it was he fell in love with you.
Was it when he overheard you defending him to Shane back at the quarry? When you gave him that arrow that cut up your pretty hands? Or maybe when you sat in a dark closet together, opening up about your fears to him? Then there was the time he caught you singing lullabies to baby Judith, when you got drunk and passionately debated Eugene over which Star Wars movie is the best, seeing you in that indigo dress (you did indeed correct him when he called it blue) looking so fucking lovely beneath the moonlight?
Truth be told, it’s damn near impossible to narrow it down to one specific instance. You have this stupidly unfair ability to make him fall for you over and over again.
“Hey, handsome,” you coo, drawing him out of his thoughts like the Pied Piper. “You doing anything today?”
“Can’t. It’s my honeymoon. Think Rick’d throw me in that cell if I was stupid enough to leave.”
“What a coincidence, my schedule happens to be clear as well. I guess Virginia’s the new Fiji.”
Figures you’d be the type to want a honeymoon in Fiji. That’s his preppy princess alright.
Without further ado, he scoops you up, his veins thrumming with pride over how easy the task is. You happily latch onto him. You used to yelp when he picked you up, but you’re so used to it by now that you know he’d never drop you. He uses his muscle memory to traverse the house — your house — heading up the stairs and back to the bedroom.
Realizing his route, you throw in a coquettish comment. “We going back to sleep, old man? It’s a bit early in the—”
You yelp when he gives your thighs a firm squeeze, effectively shutting you up.
“Mouthy woman. Nah, we ain’t sleepin’ anytime soon. Not ‘til I get you makin’ them noises again. ‘Actress’ my ass.”
That earns him another bout of laughter from you, which in turn makes him grin. You’re a delight, an addiction he won’t ever quit; his best friend and wife.
And if those eyes you’re giving him are to be believed, he knows you view him the same way.
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VALENTINES DAY ;
a/n : without spoiling too much, this isn't a romantic fic, and you will read why. just fili and kili being cuties. thank you for the idea @mossthebogwitch. this is rather short but i wanted to get it posted, it's not proof read and it has a few khuzdul words used. also, for the sake of the fic, we are going to roll with the idea dwarves celebrate valentines day, okay? okay.
×××
losing a loved one was always going to be hard. losing your best friend, husband and father of your children was something dis could relate too on a heartbreaking level.
it was true what they said : it did get easier with time. though there were days set to celebrate love that reminded her of her loss.
today was one of those days. valentines day had arrived faster than she hoped, and her heart broke a little more. she sighed, her hand rested against the empty cold side that once belonged to her husband. her fingers softly gripped the material, eyes stinging with tears as the memories flooded her.
the silence inside her room was a contrasted difference to the noise of her two son's outside. the sun was blaring down on them harshly but it didn't not stop them from their mini missions.
“just braid them together kili, it's not that hard” fili scolded as he watched his younger brother try to make a flower crown. he didn't want to seem so harsh, but he had to make their amad happy. he knew today was a day she dreaded, and he hoped to ease just a fraction of her pain.
“i am trying,” kili huffed as he narrowed his eyes even more, “the stalk keeps breaking instead of piercing” the complaint was ignored by his older brother, who was preoccupied with his own item.
he had crafted his mother four wooden figures, one to resemble each member of the family. seeking the aid of bofur, who helped him ensure the figures were crafted to a beautiful standard, fili was now adding the final touches. he was nervous, his hands shaking slightly as he inhaled a deep breath, trying to remain focused.
“aha!” fili jumped at the sudden loud cheer from his brother. he turned to look at him, who was now holding the flower crown proudly in his hand, a soft smile rising on the eldests face.
“beautiful kili” he complimented, before refocusing on his own task. when he had finished, he gently gathered the figures in his hands before standing up. the two headed inside, walking straight for the kitchen area.
the wooden table in the middle was now being used as their mothers surprise table. fili placed the figures down in order : the two taller ones in the back whilst the two smaller ones stood in front of them. it resembled fili, kili, their amad and adad.
the poem that fili asked his uncle to get from ori had arrived in time, thankfully. he placed that flat on the table too as kili watched over the food they started. when kili winced, burning himself somehow, fili took over. dishing up the breakfast, he instructed kili to light the candles without burning himself for a second time.
a bouquet of flowers rested in the middle of the table, tied together with their adad's old rag, a sentimental touch. the two brothers took a step back to admire their work, and though it all went perfectly, fili still shuffled nervously, rummaging through the intricate details. it took kili pulling him back for him to stop, exhaling a deep breath he didn't know he was holding.
satisfied, they both made their way up to their amad, softly knocking on the door. dis wiped away the stray tears, sitting up in bed properly as she softly called for her sons to enter.
“hey amad,” kili cheerily greeted as he wasted no time jumping into bed beside her when she opened her arms for them, fili climbing in on the other side as she wrapped her arms around their shoulders, holding her sons close.
“what have you two been up too?” she questioned, knowing the silence of the house meant they'd been off doing other things.
“you'll find out,” fili mumbled as he embraced the comfort of his mothers hold, “but we need you to come downstairs” he finished.
her eyebrow quirked as she turned her head side to side, “oh, you best not have made a mess of my kitchen” her words serious but the entertained laugh that followed indicated she was joking.
“of course not amad,” kili stated as he got up from the bed, “come!” he excitedly held his hand out for her to grab. fili removed himself from the bed as dis accepted her youngest's outstretched hand.
kili ran on ahead, to ensure nothing had caught fire from the candles. fili stepped to the side when he entered, leaving the view clear for their mother. as she turned the corner, she halted in the doorway with a surprised gasp.
she hadn't even realised a tear had fallen from her eye until she felt her sons engulf her in a hug. she embraced them both, happy tears in her eyes, but an ache in her heart.
“you did all this for me?” words failed her, stumbling over them as she spoke. she sniffled as she pulled away, walking over to the table. she gently picked up the flower crown before placing it on her head. her eyes gazed at the items, a longing smile on her face as she stared at the wooden carvings that she knew represented their family.
“you deserve it amad,” fili spoke from behind her, “adad would be disappointed if we didn't make you happy”
a soft smile remained on her face as she turned to face her boys, who were now stood side by side, “your adad would be so proud of you” she reached both her hands out to caress one of their cheeks, triumphant smiles on their faces.
“happy valentines day amad”
“happy valentines day my inùdôy”
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matilda.
Pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem!reader? (no physical descriptions)
Summary: Steve Harrington is an 80s male version of matilda.
Word count: 1.9k (just something smol)
Warnings: almost pure angst. super tw to daddy issues and fights/arguments. mostly a steve x father fic with mentions of reader. ALSO idk what season or year this is set in. maybe season 2-3 ish. there's also cursing. OH i also named his dad bc writing mr. harrington all the time gave me anxiety so let's imagine his name is Blake. yes, i got inspiration after Blake Carrington......
English is NOT my first language.
A/N: hello cuties, so just in case we don't get Steve confronting his family in s5...wrote this. and also of course this is based on dawson's creek and harry's song. feeling versatile today. love you all and I HOPE YOU ENJOY <3
Steve got home after a double tutoring session for his SAT's. To say he was exhausted would be an understatement, but at least it helped him not to think about Y/N, his girlfriend that actually made it out of Hawkins after high school. Don't get me wrong, he was so proud of her for pursuing her dreams, but that didn't mean he didn't miss her to death and wish she was with him every night.
After entering the kitchen to make himself a sandwich because, of course, there wasn't food already made. It was his everyday routine, but when he turned around, he noticed his dad. Weird. He thought. He's almost never home, and when he is, it's like he avoids being in the same room as Steve. Yet here he was, passed out on the family couch next to a bottle of whisky. I guess it was a long day for him too.
Steve couldn't help but stare at him and feel empty. After a few moments of contemplating his next move, he decided to sit on the couch in front of him. He knew his father wouldn't wake up, yet he still sat down just for the nostalgia and pain of it all.
"So I guess this is as good a time as any to have that father-son talk." Steve looked at him and saw how he had this subtle snore. Great.
Steve made this lower voice impersonating his dad. "So, how are you doing at summer school, Steve?"
"Well, actually, dad, I'm doing all right. You know, I'm really turning things around. It turns out I'm pretty smart. Maybe I'm college-bound after all."
"Good man, Steve, I always knew you'd turn out to be something. How are the ladies treating you?"
"Uh, I met this woman." Steve answered himself and couldn't help but blush just at the thought of her.
"Is she cute?"
"Cute? man, uh, Y/N's beautiful. She's smart, she's funny. I tell you, this girl is really something special. And...whatever the reason, she seems to think I'm pretty special too."
He couldn't stop smiling by now. A warm feeling was taking over his body, one he was familiar with since he started dating Y/N. But that smile, that nice warm feeling, suddenly disappeared, making Steve frown and almost contain his tears. This is not what he was intending to do by having a fake conversation with his father. But he stayed with it.
"So why can't you see that? Hmm? Why can't you see me, man? When did you give up on me? when I was five? Hmm, ten? twelve? I'm eighteen years old, dad.
Steve was sobbing by now. He couldn't breathe properly either. He was embarrased to be perfectly honest but all those emotions he had bottled up for years were coming out. He couldn't help it even if he tried. And he did try.
"And I'm here, and I'm not perfect, but I try so hard for you. I just—it's your job. It's your job to love me. Because you're my father, no matter who I am or what I become. I can't do this by myself."
Steve didn't realize until now how much he actually needed his parents. Yeah, the party was great, as were his best friend and girlfriend, but the validation and support of his parents is something he always hopes he will get one day.
But it didn't seem like that would happen any time soon.
Later that week...
After another natural disaster in Hawkins, Steve wasn't surprised if it ended up being connected to the Upside Down or the lab, for that matter. But of course, his father didn't know that. So, after a long day at the office doing whatever it is that stock marketers do, Mr. Harrington met with Steve.
Steve wasn't really paying attention to what was happening; it wasn't anything new to him. He was consumed by the thought of his girlfriend once again. Fuck, he missed her. He missed her a lot. Sure, they would call each other every day, but it didn't make it any less hard on him. He wonders if Y/N felt the same way about their separation. Or was he too codependent?
Steve's dad shook him out of his thoughts when he started talking again.
"The sheriff was lying to me. He's in it up to his neck and he knows it."
Of course Steve knew Hopper. He's done everything in his power to protect the kids, so this type of incident wasn't him. It couldn't be.
"Come on, you don't even know if this has anything to do with him." Steve was trying to lift the mood and make his father not put the blame on Hopper.
"A random arson incident in the middle of Hawkins? Let's consider the likelihood of that, Steve." Blake scoffed, looking at Steve like he was delusional or just plain stupid.
How wrong he was.
"If God hadn't blessed you with my good looks, I wouldn't know whose son you were. Why don't you drive yourself home before you make another embarrassing comment.”
Steve just stared at the man. Wondering how on earth were they related.
"I think I'll walk."
Blake contained a laugh. Again, making Steve look bad in front of all his coworkers.
"As if I care."
Just as Steve was turning around to leave, he decided to add one more comment.
"You know, we assumed you did, Pop." he said smiling with his sarcastic and mocking voice. It was basically a fuck you, dad.
Blake was surprised at his comeback—was he trying to embarrass him? Nope. He wouldn't tolerate it.
"You'll have to excuse my son, boys. His girlfriend moves away and suddenly it's his time of the month." he said, forcing a laugh to make it seem like it was no big deal.
"Hey, screw you, okay?" Steve was getting annoyed by now. He wouldn't let himself be talked down like that anymore.
Blake tried to put Steve aside to talk to him in a more private environment, in which he most definitely would be scolding Steve for his attitude towards him.
But when he tried to grab his arm,
"Get your hands off me, alright? You don't touch me again, ever!" Steve was now shouting. The mere idea of his father having anything to do with him disgusted him more in that moment than any other day.
Mr. Harrington made that fake laugh again, trying to keep an appeareance in front of everyone else in the scene.
"Finally, my boy gets a pair. All it took was getting his heart broken by some little girl with a few screws loose."
Steve lost it. In his eighteen years, he had never punched his dad, not until today that is. He didn't know anything about you. He didn't know that you are the most amazing person to ever grace his existence.
"Y/N did more for my life in six months than you did in eighteen years, you rotten son of a bitch. So if you want to make fun of me, you want to burst out on me? That's fine. But if you make even the slightest disparaging remark about the woman I love, I swear to God, you'll be calling this town from a hospital bed, you understand?"
Blake was speechless. He didn't even move from the position where Steve had punched him just a minute ago.
With that, Steve was ready to leave. He couldn't look at his dad anymore. But first, now that he seemed to have his full attention after all these years, he had one more thing to say. To him, to everyone for that matter. Screw the reputation.
"And one more thing, even if Hopper was involved in all of this, he's still ten times the father you ever were."
The next day...
Steve was at the park waiting for the kids to call him through the walkie-talkie and ask him to pick them up from their D&D session. Just another regular day for him: picking up the kids, waiting for it to be night, and calling Y/N's dorm. He's sure her roommate is sick of all the calling, but he couldn't care less. He needed to hear her sweet voice. Yeah, he was codependent alright.
And just like yesterday, someone interrupted his thoughts. His dad. Talk about a surprise.
"What are you doing here?"
Mr. Harrington sat next to Steve on the park bench, leaving enough space for another person to fit between the two of them.
"For starters, you punched me."
Of course. Steve thought that's what he'd say.
"If you came looking for an apology, you're barking up the wrong tree."
"No, I don't need one. I deserved it. Good for you for doing it." What had gotten into Blake Harrington?
When Steve didn't respond, he decided to keep making conversation, something he clearly wasn't used to.
"You got another phone call today from Y/N. We talked for a long time. She's uh, kind of chatty, that one."
Steve smiled to himself. "Yeah, she is."
"She sounded sweet as hell, Steve. So, I'm sorry for what I said yesterday. I really don't know anything about her."
Steve finally got the courage to look him in the eyes. "Apology accepted."
Steve got up from the bench after that. He wanted to see what his father's next step would be. Would he follow him? Or leave now that he has a clean concience?
"I'm not done."
To Steve's surprise, Blake got up as well.
"As little as I know about her, I know even less about you, my own son."
They stay put for a moment, waiting for someone to continue. Mr. Harrington guessed that would be him again.
"I realized that as Y/N was trying to fill me in on what you two had been through, I didn't know about any of that. She said you were her hero. It was nice to hear."
That brought tears to Steve's eyes but he wouldn't let them fall. His lips stayed pressed together hoping the force would also help stop the tears. Boys don't cry, he reasoned, or at least not in front of Blake Harrington.
When Blake still got no verbal response from his son, he thought it was fitting. How many times has he done the same to Steve?
"Anyway, I called the school and I explained things to them. They're going to let you make up the finals next week when you feel up to it."
"Thank you." Steve was finally able to get the words out. You could see the pain in his eyes, yet he refused to be open about it.
"It's the least I could do." Even though Blake's voice didn't seem affected by all of this, you could see pain in his eyes too. From what? We don't exactly know. Yet.
"I'm sorry I haven't been the kind of father that you felt you could share your story with."
Fuck it. Steve started shredding tears; it wasn't a full crying look, but it was in the making. It was bound to happen, that's for sure.
"Uh, there's just one other thing here. Y/N wanted me to give you something."
You could tell Mr. Harrington was nervous—a little uncomfortable even. Meanwhile Steve had this confused expression. That's when his father started getting closer to hug him, patting his back a few times before pulling away. It was a quick hug. An awkward one too.
After that awkward embrace, they looked into each others eyes and saw the hurt they both shared, that's when they went for another hug. A hug that was expected for eighteen years. Steve finally broke down thinking this could possibly still be a dream, either way, he was going to take the deal.
THE END.
feedback and comments are greatly appreciated <3
should I start a steve tag list? i'm conflicted..
#steve harrington#steve harrington x reader#joe keery#joe keery x reader#steve harrington imagine#steve stranger things#stranger things#stranger things x reader#fanfic#joe keery imagine
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These Dreams
Chapter 1: Blots (Ao3) (must be signed in)
For @dukexietyweek 2023 Day 1 -Tattoo Shop/Florist
Word Count: 1020
Rating: T
Characters: Remus, Virgil
Warnings: ftm Remus, genderfluid virgil, innuendo, dreams
Remus dreams about being a tattoo artist, and he meets someone who catches his attention
---
Remus absolutely loved ink, and he loved meeting new people. He also loved a good mystery. Maybe that's why he was drawn to the florist next door. The man was the furthest thing from sunny and bright, and yet he was always making bright bouquets for weddings and stuff. He wore long sleeves year round and he was always looking over his shoulder as if someone were looking for him.
Remus was so intrigued that he would stop by the flower shop after work just to talk to the spooky cutie. Even if he did get a little snippy, Remus could say with confidence that he liked this guy. He was down to cuddle! If he ever got that lucky.
It was a slow day in his parlor. Remus didn't have any appointments booked, everything was clean and restocked, and he was bored, watching videos on his phone. He could let his mind wander if he wanted, but it liked to go to dark places.
And then the front door opened with a chime. Remus stowed his phone immediately and went to the counter to greet the newcomer. He was not disappointed to see that adorable cub of a man and his patchwork hoodie.
"Well hello!" Remus cooed and leaned on the counter, "what brings you to the stab station?"
"That's not the business name," spooky guy said flatly and crossed his arms, "And I'm here to set up a consultation."
"Oooh, fancy words!" Remus giggled, "I can squeeze you right now!"
"You mean 'squeeze you in,' right?"
"That too!" he said, "Come with me to my office and we can work something out."
Remus practically bounced from behind the counter and led him into the main studio. There were a couple of chairs with inks and needles, and a couch. Remus was happy to flop on the couch.
"So you're looking for ink, huh?" Remus asked and patted the seat next to him, "Is this your first time?"
He shook his head and took off his hoodie. His forearms were covered in ink—intricate spiderwebs. Remus was in awe, and on guard.
"I see you have some spider webs there," he mused.
"Yeah. I like spiders. I'm trying to cover them up more. I didn't do enough research on the meaning behind them," the man winced, ready to cover up again, “I’m not—I’ve never been—”
"So you want to get some colorful sleeves to hide the webs before someone mistakes you for a bastard.”
"Yeah. I uh, have a design and color scheme already," the man grumbled and pulled out a piece of folded paper from his pocket. He handed it to Remus and rubbed his arm.
Remus unfolded it and grinned at the two pages of images. He loved the grays and purples and he could even see a few spider webs that wouldn't be obnoxious or red flags. It would be the perfect cover!
"Did you draw this yourself?" Remus gawked, clearly impressed.
“Yeah, I figured it would be better to have a plan so I could get as much done at once as quickly as possible.”
“If you don’t have to be anywhere for a few hours, I can do it now!” Remus grinned, “On one condition!”
“Condition?” the guy hesitated and reached to take his sketches back.
“Yeah, you have to get me a coffee afterwards,” Remus shrugged and kept the paper out of reach, “I think that’s fair.”
The man relaxed and cracked his neck. A coffee wasn’t so bad, and it didn’t have to mean anything.
“Let’s get started,” he said with a hint of eagerness in his low, droning voice.
“Take a seat in the first chair, and take some pain killers if you haven’t already—there should be some in the drawer and some water bottles,” Remus said and motioned to the chair in question. He bounced to his feet and skipped over to a counter with a printer set up. He was going to make this the best tattoo ever!
The man brought his hoodie with him and sat down, not going for the medicine. Remus could appreciate some healthy masochism. He was guilty of being a masochist himself!
He made a reverse copy of the images on some transfer paper and bopped over to his new client.
"Okiee dokiee, let's start with lefty!" he giggled and set the right sheet on the counter.
The man held out his arm and let Remus place the transfer paper on his skin. With a few shifts, he had it in place and held it down.
Remus grabbed a soapy, damp rag and coated the paper, making sure it would transfer to his skin. His client was shaking slightly, which was understandable. Getting inked could be nerve-wracking.
“It’s okay,” Remus hummed, “It’ll sting a little, but not like a thousand hornets, but you already know that. Are you just nervous because I’m hot?”
It was just a little jab to get the guy to crack a smile and relax. Remus was not exactly happy when he went even more rigid. At the same time he was thrilled.
“So, I didn’t get your name before,” Remus said and peeled off the transfer sheet. The man looked up at him with stormy eyes and a cute blush.
“You didn’t ask,” he muttered, “it’s—”
Remus woke up flailing. He was tangled up in his sheets as he tumbled from his bed. He was going to break his damn alarm clock one of these days! It was inevitable, especially when it decided to interrupt his dreams before they ever got to the good parts!
Remus managed to escape his cocoon of sheets and turned off his alarm. He would have to get to class in an hour, unless his professor canceled. He found his phone and grinned at the notification. Janus had to handle a medical issue and class was canceled!
Remus immediately went to his desk and grabbed his sketchbook. He could study, but he wanted to draw the tattoo the guy in his dream wanted. Scratch that—he needed to draw it, because he refused to forget it!
#dukexiety#remus sanders#virgil sanders#sanders sides#dukexietyweek2023#day 1#ftm!remus#sex mention tw
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FSR Rambles revenge of the sixth
The titles are dumb.
I'm dumb.
We're all dumb and reading my cringey gay fan comic for a book that has completely taken over my life.
What are any of us doing here.
I don't even like starwars.
This chapter takes place during the "The Fall of Hyrule Castle" chapter aka chapter 2 of the manga.
And yeah there will be quite a few of these and I'll specify where they take place in the break downs. (I try to make it obvious in the comic itself but ya never know.)
Shadow is rambling evil little nonsense and gets dragged to the hell dimension which will look very familiar to us...
This is Dark Link's crib where he lives with all his Links hot chicks Does literally anybody get that reference lmfao.
Also where the four heroes are trapped for 7 years. Well when they stopped being disembodied voices anyway.
Vaati drags Shadow here though to talk.
Shadow's just a cutie pie that wants to please the dude Ganon's no doubt been hyping up as a good alley lmao.
So that's why he recognized the ol wind mage. He saw his divine face before. Vaati's been shown to having shapeshifting magic so I found it fitting he could just...Look like his old disguise.
With the context for this line given: Makes you wonder what else Shadow knows lol.
Vaati being a mentor figure is smth I've always kinda seen him as. I noticed after skimming Vaati's scenes in minishcap Still haven't fully READ it but holy shit there's so many interesting things that link back to FSA....Like uh...How Minish cap Link MAKES THE FOUR SWORD.
I noticed they basically share all their abilities. So I head cannoned Vaati taught him things.
I like Vaati as a pathetic simp who is also a terrible abusive father. COPE. HE'S MY VAATI I DO WHAT I WANT WITH HIM.
Since I've spoiled Hero's shade showing up at some point Woops if you haven't seen any of his art lmfao this also mirrors how he teaches Twilight Princess Link things.
Baby wanted to impress his new dad but new dad is a fan of tough parenting. Vaati sets his expectations high from the get go.
Again: Shadow recognized this attack because Vaati freakin' taught him it. X'D
Fool him once, shame on him. Fool him twice, now Vaati you're just an asshole-
Smth you might notice if you've read the manga a million times:
He blows the four heroes away EASILY but can't get Vaati to budge.
Vaati is powerful lmao not Shadow being weak. XD
Vaati also links his disappointment to physical pain.
Vaati just showing off his power while also making thin threats. A blatant display of who's more powerful, he reenforces Shadow's fear of the light.
Haha. The wording here might ring a bell if you know specific lines from the manga.
Who the hell made Shadow feel worthless before?
Vaati. The answer is Vaati lmfao. Ganon probs too but he's being ignored rn cause I'm unsure if I even wanna touch him tbh.
Vaati's advice comes in handy here actually in more ways than one:
Shadow could shift into one of the heroes, and cause problem.
Shift into Link and cause issues for them.
Also Vaati mentions nobody trusting Shadow how he is.
Ties back into how he shifts into Vio later in the actual manga hah.
Again Vaati veils his and Ganon's disappointment as something to fear, but gives Shadow a small reward of physical affection.
Shadow Link imo obviously craves physical affection so Vaati giving it here is just to keep him on the line of behaving how they want him too.
Shadow can't tell he's being yanked along oof.
Vaati makes his relationship with Shadow clear: Keep in my good graces, I will reward you. Make me angry or disapointed and I will hurt you.
Shadow likes to think he has SOME amount of superiority over Vaati, that they're at least equals but Vaati ain't interested in that.
Hahahha. So much for that plan buddy.
Shadow's eyes were red the entire scene because he's a demon.
I don't got a lot to add to these pages cause they're pretty self explanatory. XD
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Remain Nameless
Part III
Pairing: swordsman!Bucky Barnes x mage!reader
Warnings: darkfic, stalking, descriptive violence, gore, near-death experience, possible noncon/dubcon in the future (but I swear it’s not as scary as it sounds)
Words: 2.7k
Summary: You could give up literally anything just to see this war-crazed psycho getting hurt, but, perhaps, he isn’t crazy as you think, and you aren’t the sort of person who enjoys others’ pain.
Part I
Part II
__________
It's always late when you crawl out of the hospital into the dormitory just next to it, rubbing your neck tiredly. You are so hungry you feel you could eat a whole sheep in one bite, but you have no strength to cook whatsoever. Maybe some of your neighbors won't mind to share something, you hope.
"You look like you came back from the dead," Shuri, a young talented blacksmith tells you when you land on the wooden bench in a common kitchen. "I have some pie leftovers. Wanna have a piece?"
"Bless you, cutie," you put your head on the table, growling from the ache spreading throughout your overworked body. "It's a pity I can't marry a pretty young lady who will cook for me every day."
She raises a brow at you, "Can't you, actually? You just don't seem to want it. But why don't you find yourself a nice guy who will cook for you just the same, mm?"
You stiffle a sarcastic laugh. "Yeah, right."
Truth be told, your marriage prospects were pretty much nonexistent at this point.
When Shuri sets plats on the table, you listen to her sweet chatting about the new set of swords the magistrate commissioned her to make - she is so passionate about what she does - and a new magic stones mine opened nearby, and then the girl announces proudly she has finally finished working on metal prosthetics. She tells you something about them being light and much more comfortable to use comparing to the wooden ones, and for a second you think back to Barnes' missing arm and wonder if a new metal prosthetic would make his life easier.
Maybe, but over your dead fucking body. A man who nearly turned you into a cripple does not deserve a prosthetic. You would very much prefer to see him struggling to use his sword, but the bastard will surely find a way to fight just as easily with one hand as he did with two.
Shuri's cheese pies are always good, but you cannot really feel the taste with thoughts of James filling your head. You hate him. Oh God, you hate him so much this feeling takes all the space in your chest, and it starts to hurt all over again. But the worst thing is that you do not feel happy about him being injured. It does not make you even the slightest bit satisfied when it should. Why are you not happy? He deserves it. He only lost a left arm when Tony Stark died out there. You should be extatic Barnes is hurt.
But you are not. His injury does not make anything easier for you. And God, you are repulsed something in you tells you to bring him a prosthesis, but this irritating voice only sounds louder and louder in your head.
Why should you do it? Regardless of whether Barnes really slayed Hydra or not, he does not deserve your help. Hell, he did not say he was sorry even when he remembered it was you. Why should you be kind to him?
Because you are a good person, the voice inside your head says. Because regardless of how much of a monster James Barnes is, you are not the same. This is why you are better. This is the reason you are in the right and he is in the wrong.
"Do you have any finished samples?" You ask Shuri, hating yourself so much this very moment.
___________
You cannot thank her enough when Shuri agrees to deliver the perfectly crafted metal prosthesis to the hospital early in the morning by herself because you better risk fighting a grifon on your own than let Barnes know it was you who helped him. If you are being entirely honest with yourself, you do not feel even the slightest bit of satisfaction from doing this. Barnes is a bastard, and it would do him good to finally feel what it is like to lose a limb. But you still instruct Shuri what to say when delivering the prosthesis before leaving for the hospital yourself.
Luckily, you do no run into the man again during the day, and going through the very same routine helps to ease your nerves as you cast spells over and over again until you finally land on the sofa in the doctor's lounge, Lu already waiting for you with a cup of herbal tea.
"If I see one more asshole asking for lamia's poison antidote, I swear I will curse them to go bald," she grumbled, visibly tired, stretching her legs with a grunt.
That forces a laugh out of you: the magistrate forbade anyone to visit the caves where a large lamia tribe resided, but some mercenaries still think they could try their luck. It backfires most of the time, of course, and today is one of those days where you have to cure lilac-skinned people slowly turning to stone.
"I wonder when we are going to catch a break," you sigh, and Lu looks up to you, suprised.
"Haven't you heard? Since our saviour Barnes managed to kill Hydra, we have just two weeks left until they'll let most of us go. That is, unless you are really inclined to stay in this hole," she wiggles her dark bushy eyebrows, and you can't help but giggle.
Well, you thought it was gonna happen soon, anyway. You certainly have no plans to settle down in this godforsaken town, but the thought of moving somewhere in just two weeks unnerves you, nonetheless.
Perhaps it is not a bad thing. You need a break. You spent so much time pouring whatever you have into healing spells you have nearly forgotten what it is like to have a social life. Aside from Lu, you don't really speak to anyone, unless it is job-related. You don't remember when was the last time you bought yourself a new dress or visited a tea-shop. Hell, the last time you danced was probably when your grandmother hosted a ball once you turned 20 years of age, and it seemed like a lifetime ago.
You rub your stiff neck, "Maybe I will visit my grandmother. She keeps sending me letters she wants to see me."
"Heartless creature. When was the last time you saw her?"
You snort at Lu's remark. It must have been a couple of years at the least, and you should have really visited your grandma sooner. Well, maybe now was the perfect time to do it untill you decide where you are going next. You know the old woman will try to marry you off again, but you doubt she will have much luck: she never does with this, really. Most aristocratic families she is aiming for prefer noble daugthers who sew and sing and paint, not mages who can curse their husbands with a second nose or donkey's ears if they cheat.
"You coming back to your family in the capital?" You ask, hoping to exchange letters with the woman you grew close to over the last couple of months.
"Yeah. I'm thinking of replacing my good-for-nothing brother as the next family head. Imagine, his wife wrote to me not so long ago to help her kick him out of the mansion." Lu smirks, and you both start laughing: her brother married a woman who could make iron bend with her glare, and with her support Lu had a good chance to become the matriarch of the family. Her throwing her pompous older brother out of his house would be a sight to behold.
You quietly admit you will miss her and sigh again, rubbing your temples tiredly. Maybe your next destination after your grandmother's mansion should be the capital.
____________
Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki @helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @soleil-dor @stargazingfangirl18 @dillybuggg @literate-lamb @cosicas-cuquis @sarge-barnes-sir @buckybarnesplumwhore @jaysayey @megzdoodle @gotnofucks @lux-ravenwolf @ximebebx @sourpatchspinster @biiskuitx @stupendouslovegardener @melodierin @yeolliedokai @what-is-your-wish @lou-la-lou @mansaaay @ilovetaquitosmmmm
#bucky barnes x reader#dark bucky barnes#bucky barnes#dark bucky barnes x reader#winter soldier#yandere#mcu#mcu fanfiction
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Yug.ioh 5ds Sub Spoilers, a little convo + artwork
I like to imagine I did the make-up to cover Yusei’s mark. During my education I got a qualification for my minor subject, camouflage. Its to cover up tattoos, marks and scars with special make-up thats water proof and not easily been taken off. You really have to choose layers of colors that will come close or exact the same as the skin tone.
During this progress when I’m working to cover his mark slowly up, having a conversation what I am doing by every step and Yusei is just sitting and listening.
Sharon: “First I have to make your skin free from grease, the next step is to set a first tone to blend with the color tone. The first base is white and I mix it with a little grey undertone since the mark is very goldish yellow.. after that I have to look for a color the pallet thats close to your skin..hmmm… this one is close but I should mix it with a little red color…do not laugh!”
Yu.ei: “Sorry, I never saw you so serious.”
Sharon: “Im very focused to do this right. I used to love doing this.”
Y.usei: “Why did you ever stopped?”
Sharon: “Cause I couldn’t find a job in the beauty branch and didn’t enjoy it anymore. Its now more, another skill I can add to my list of things I can do good.”
Yus.ei: “You are incredible.”
Sharon: “Jwjsksms where that come from out of sudden?”
Yu.sei: “Well you always say I am smart but you, you are kinda like a scientist yourself.”
Sharon: “Yu.sei please, its just special make-up.”
Y.usei: “Well if you had to ask me to put this camouflage kit on someone, I have no clue where to start.”
Sharon: “Its been a while for me, I had to rethink what stap is next to make it match. Please close your eyes, I dont want this stuff coming in your eyes.”
Yusei: “Yes ma’am.”
Sharon: “Im done! What do you think?”
Yu.sei: “It’s like it never was been there.”
Sharon: “Thank you.”
Y.usei: “Do I look better with or without the mark?”
Sharon: “The mark has become a part of you. I cant even imagine you without your mark…I loved you without and I love you now with.”
Y.usei: “You never brothered by it?”
Sharon: “I have only though about how much you must have been suffered and in pain…I was scared first to kiss you on that cheek cause I didnt know if you would like to been touched…but also I wanted to make you forget about the pain and fill that memory with a nice one…”
Y.usei: “Like being covered in starlight number 6 lipstick?”
Sharon: mocking “It was suppose to be kiss proof…”
Y.usei: “I was joking, Starshine.”
Sharon: “Funny pants.”
Y.usei: “I wouldnt mind having some starlight on my lips.”
Sharon: “Is that a request?”
Yu.sei pulled her closer as she stopped him.
Sharon: “Sorry. I dont kiss strangers.” she said as she got a confused look from him.
Sharon, trying to keep a straight face: “Your are Daniel, aren’t you?”
“Shar…” Yusei chuckled as she shared the laugh as she got pulled closer onto his lap. Sitting down he pulled her chin up and covered her lips with his.
Sharon: “Yus?”
Y.usei: “Hmm?”
Sharon: “Please be careful, okay?”
Y.usei: “I will try my best.”
Ah yes , what a cutie💖🩵
#✨blazing arts#❤️our future is written in the stars#💖your smile sparks like its outer space#✨spaceshipping#self ship#selfship#seflship art#self ship art
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Star in My Mind
quick pitch
Star & Sky: Star in My Mind
April-May 2022 on GMMTV’s YouTube)
8/10
Main Tropes: university set, high school crush, jock/nerd, long term pining, secret crush, reunion
Adapted from a y-novel by Peachhplease, starring Joong (2 Moons 2, formerly one half of a VERY popular BL pair J9*) + fresh face Dunk, and directed by New in his usual blatant and somewhat mechanical style. The very first episode I said “I think I’m confused by the directing on this show. WAIT A SEC. Is this New phoning it in? (Runs to check.) Why YES yes it is.” So yeah... called it!
Back to Joon.
While it was awful nice to see our beautiful golden boy again, I think he was ill served by this role, or maybe he just doesn’t shine as brightly without Nine? Or maybe he needs a stronger directing hand than New’s? Yes I think GMMTV intends for Joong to be their next Singto but from this performance I’m not sold. I thought Dunk out acted him, making Dao a likable and complex character against which Kluen felt rather flat. Although that said at first I really didn’t like Dao.
This is (sort of) a lost love reunion arc (GMMTV bringing back the blue shorts, hello old friends) + freshy hotness contest giving it a 2 Moons vibes. It was fun to see some Wabi Sabi stable playing around at GMMTV, and while it sounds like I’m being harsh I actually did enjoy this show.
I like how honestly they treated all the faen fatals for a change.
I like how directly they approached the pain of rejection contrasted to loyalty and holding out hope.
I also liked that Kluen was set up to lose if he couldn’t get it together and actually communicate his feelings. It’s a good life lesson.
It was frustrating how long it took though. There was a lot of me yelling at the screen:
I don’t like shows that function on this “plot.” Miscommunication for the sake of it (or for the lack of it) is always frustrating for viewers or readers. We feel manipulated.
Also, ultimately, these two were a bit too sappy and Dao was a bit too blushing maiden for such an aggressive uke, but that’s par for the course with GMMTV and Director New. (After all, he’s rumored to be the reason Pharm is that way in UWMA, apparently he’s wasn’t written like that.)
Look, this is one of those shows that I shouldn’t really like after 400 BLs. It’s not at all unique, just some classic Thai uni folderol driven by miscommunication (or just non-communication) and yet... I COULD NOT STOP WATCHING.
Also good kiss. Honestly, 2022 is the year of the BL kiss.
It was interesting to see Thailand tackle a love triangle, but let’s be fair, it really isn’t their forte. Phoon was a plot devise to drive Kluen into confession. Thailand should leave love triangles to Korea, Korea pretty much owns it after all this time. They’ve put a lot of work into it, Thailand, ceed this one to the north, please?
All that said, in the end, the show itself worked for me, fitting solidly into GMMTV’s pantheon and it’s... how do I put this... central lane?
It feels like the Thai pulps are noodling along in in the slow lane, and the outliers like Mame’s shows and Cutie Pie and KinnPorsche are in the fast line. Sometimes we don’t know where they are going but they are going there QUICKLY. (With shows like SCOY just drunk driving all over the darn place.)
Oh I like this metaphor.
I guess what I am saying is GMMTV is like reliable soccer daddy of BL, a well maintained station wagon, clipping along but safely. And we all know what we are in for.
Star supplied exactly that.
It didn’t excel, like Bad Buddy, it didn’t disappoint, like My Gear and Your Gown, and it didn’t fly off the tracks like Not Me. It was exactly what I want from GMMTV.
Does that mean I am a touch disappointed?
Sure, because I had my expectations met and I kinda always want them to be exceeded, especially with us all knowing GMMTV can actually do better.
In short, everyone involved with this show seems to have mostly phoned it in, but it was a REALLY nice phone call.
That said?
MORE OF THE SAME PLEASE. I didn’t get into BL for the goddamn novelty of it.
RECOMMENDED
It’s basic BL. But honestly, don’t we all need that plain white t-shirt to wear under our engineering smock... in the end?
* Note: I did think GMMTV was gonna make a play for J9 but I guess they just picked up Joong. And apparently Nine is now a Cpop idol. Bummer he could have done very well in GMMTv’s stable.
(source)
#thai bl#gmmtv#bl review#recommended bl#My Gear and Your Gown#Bad Buddy#love triangle#kluendao#2 moons 2#Star & Sky: Star in My Mind#star in my mind#it's on youtube
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hiiii today's reminder is a notes app list of observations/thoughts from the concert that I kept to say to you lol:
- xiaohenyang black on black dance break I sobbed
- the first VCR started with jungwoo and jeno and I thought they'd do Js first then it went to yuta and my brain said "mera juta hai japani" which is a line from an old Bollywood song meaning "my shoe is japanese" and it cracked me up too much to pay attention to the rest of the VCR
- about the from home stage: RENJUN MY BABY smiling when he made it through his famous voice crack part and all the members putting their mics up to him for the "and it starts from here our home" bit 😭😭😭
- new stages/songs i don't remember being performed before that I loved: Oasis (why does sm hate winwin's voice), kangaroo (i need a well shot performance vid), ok, pado (tho why would they call it pado and not wave bc my brain immediately read it as pedo and then it was a sexy song and I was Disturbed), call d (what does that even mean lol they're not even trying to hide the frat boyness anymore), and you specifically are gonna love bat and alley oop
- why were the mics so bad. why was the camera work so bad, esp in nct u songs where they clearly don't know which part is whose. also they were focusing wayyy too much on close-ups for choreo-heavy songs (rip nectar). also the random hour long delay in between wtf?? tho I did like wayv banter in the meanwhile, speaking of which
- WHY DID THEY CHANGE WAYV'S INTRO TO "TO THE WORLD THIS IS NCITY"?!!!!!!!! also they clearly just tossed wayv up there to buy time while they fix the sets, it was kinda hilarious. they're pushing winwin to act cute and winwin taps his in ear and says "give us more time" (as in the staff asking them to fill up more time before the performance) and they jumped on him with "you can have all the time you want to act cute baby" to which winwin tries to hide behind ten but he's a whole head taller than him lol
- baggy jeans is good and I'm sure it'll grow on me more, but the t7s unit reunion feels wasted on it. love love LOVE ten's rap verse tho
- songs i loved live but really missed the missing members (this is mostly taeil tho sungchan makes a couple of appearances): round& round, my everything, taeil's empty spot in good night broke my heart, misfit, the 90s love bit in resonance. i like that they didn't have anyone cover taeil in 127's songs tho because he really is the heart of their music to me
- conversely: why does winwin still have 0 lines in boss, why not give him you know who's verse??
- apparently the new 127 album will be the most 127-esque yet and should I be scared?
- so so so very few resonance era songs :(
- some beautiful people: chenle, winwin, ten's wayv outfit, jisung in his black outfit (is that allowed???), taeyong's little braids even though I'm not sure how to feel about this hair, KUN 😭, yuta being the only one without a shirt in resonance for some reason
- Kun, Doyoung, jeno and Chenle together in the end that's my husbands and our sons
Hiii!!!, I might be responding super super out of order.
Overall the missing members left a layer of pain the whole time but the members who covered for them did amazing, Yuta hitting taeil's high note my baby did so well. And Jisung too, speaking of, recently I have been fighting any attraction to Jisung back with a stick, but the past day I... Can no longer fight it like hello???? Sir?? Sir?? Also I really noticed how much he and Winwin look alike I used to think it was just their lips but its their cheeks and smiles too. Jisung still looks more like Taylor Swift though. Who is coming to Miami next year! I think it's an amphitheatre so might picnic in the parking lot. Anyway next!
I just wanna talk about how much of a cutie patootie sweetie pie Renjun is every time I see him I'm like heres the boy! and his little smile! His redemption. And just everyone clamoring to him and Winwin, the princes of NCT.
I really didn't want to spoil all of the new songs yet so I just skimmed over them. And I did allow a little more of Bat and you are so right but but I left some surprises and I'll go back after the album release. But Hendery!!!! That is all. Call D, I have so many questions but the sheer vibe of the song answers them. It's not an NCT album without a song covertly about sex. Baggy jeans from what I've heard so far, same I'm not completely sold on it but I didn't hear the whole song so who knows.
The production value was definitely lacking and they seemed confused about how to film it. At least Winwin had a few of you knows lines in Wayv's songs but I always say this but it's cause the first time was so hard but the Yixing vibes are so strong with Winwin, and I worry. SM if you appreciate Winwin and give him everything he needs he won't find it else where just give him more please. Give Wayv more!!! I am an exo-l who's seen a lot and I'm scared okay. I don't want history to repeat itself. Again!! Cause exo was history repeating itself the first time.
I think we should just be prepared for the next 127 album it could honestly be anything, genuinely anything. I think just go in open-minded and ready to hear them out.
And I just wanna add just Xiaojun Yangyang and Hendery, that's it Xiaojun Yangyang and Hendery just wow look at them also.
Ignore the text I don't agree with that, that's just the tiktok. I only okay you know what nevermind.
Also Yuta can *** ****** ** me
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