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captainsophiestark · 1 month

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Competitive

Matt Donovan x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)

Fandom: The Vampire Diaries

Summary: Matt's SO convinced him to leave Mystic Falls behind in favor of attending college far, far away. Now, they've gotten themselves into a different kind of trouble.

Word Count: 1,391

Category: Fluff, Humor

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

"Careful!" hissed my boyfriend, Matt Donovan, from behind me. His voice was tight with stress, but I just rolled my eyes.

"I'm always careful!" I hissed back. He scoffed.

"That is the biggest lie I've ever heard."

"Yeah, yeah. You know, you're sounding a little hypocritical as someone who used to go toe to toe with vampires."

I shot a meaningful look back at him over my shoulder, and he tensed. He was leaned out over the balcony of our college apartment, watching as I shimmied along the edge to the next balcony. He kept glancing at the distance from me to the ground, white-knuckled on the balcony railing.

"Can you please focus on what you're doing?" he ground out, not even bothering to respond to my vampire comment. I sighed.

"Don't worry, Matt, I'm almost there."

I faced forward again, refocusing on the last stretch to my goal. To be totally fair to Matt, it definitely wouldn't be good if I fell. But it wasn't that far from one balcony to the other, and after making it out of Mystic Falls and living to tell the tale, there was no way a dumb stunt for victory in a college prank war was going to take me down.

Finally, I made it to the other balcony, carefully climbing over it and away from the edge. I took a quick second to carefully creep forward and glance in the window of the apartment to make sure no one was home, and Matt and I weren't gonna get caught. Once I knew the coast was clear, I returned to the railing and leaned over to grin at Matt.

"Mission accomplished."

"Thank god. Now are you ready to finish this prank war, once and for all?"

"Oh, you know I am. Just hurry up and toss me that cardboard cutout, I don't want to get caught out here."

Matt shook his head, but he was still smiling as he started passing over the first piece of our prank. We'd found a cardboard cutout of some actor and were going to tape it up in the window, so it looked like some shadowy figure was lurking on the apartment balcony. Matt passed over a few light strips, and I set up a nice, terrifying red light glow in the background for added effect.

A little much? Maybe. But this was supposed to be the final move in an all-out, knock-down drag-out prank war. We couldn't exactly go easy.

After I got the red lights set, I unscrewed the deck lightbulb just slightly, so it wouldn't come on when the light switch was flipped. With another assist from Matt, I dumped a bunch of whipped cream and shaving cream on the floor, so it would be gross and slippery whenever someone came out here.

"Be careful!" Matt called as I leaned on my tippy toes and set up the last part of our prank: a banner that would drop down when the door was opened, declaring us the forever winners of the prank war.

"I am!" I whispered back. I stepped back once I'd finished, taking just a second to admire my handiwork. Then I hustled back to the balcony railing and my boyfriend.

"You probably have whipped cream on your shoes, so make sure you don't slip."

"Come on Matt, I'm fine. Besides, I have you to catch me if things go wrong."

"Contrary to what you apparently believe, I don't have super speed."

"Don't need it," I said, holding out a hand for Matt to take as I reached him, swinging both legs over the railing and landing in front of him with a grin. He shook his head, but he was smiling as he wrapped his arms around me.

"You know, when you convinced me to leave for college, a lot of your pitch revolved around not fearing for each other's lives anymore."

"Which is why our stakes are now prank war-level, and not life and death! Come on, Matt, take the victory with me."

He shook his head, still grinning as I leaned up and kissed him. After a moment we pulled apart, the grin on Matt's face even wider than before.

"Man. Tyler would be so proud right now."

"Oh yeah. We've stepped up our game big time since high school."

We shared a smile, then Matt sighed.

"So. What should we do while we wait for our neighbors to get back?"

"Well, we don't want to get too distracted and miss their reactions... maybe a game night?"

"With two people?"

"Yeah, so there's no one else for you to blame the loss on when I smoke you at Mario Kart."

Matt's jaw dropped in fake outrage as he laughed.

"Alright, you did it now. You're going down."

"Do your worst, Donovan," I teased, even as I moved closer and Matt wrapped an arm around my shoulders. The trash talk continued as we headed inside together, leaving the balcony door open so we wouldn't miss a second of the reactions from our neighbors.

Matt and I snacked and laughed and played a few ruthless rounds of Mario Kart, until we ended up with a two-two tie. Then, just my luck, I was ahead in the tiebreaker when we heard noise from the hallway that almost always meant our neighbors were home.

"Ope, that sounds like them," said Matt, not missing the opportunity to pause the game. "Guess we'll have to pick this back up later, so we don't miss their reactions."

I sighed dramatically. "Fine. But don't even thing about turning off that console, Donovan. I want to pick this race back up exactly where we left it."

"Yeah, yeah."

Matt waved me off, but I still watched carefully to make sure he didn't sabotage anything as we headed for our balcony. He gave me a grin and shook his head, but I just shrugged. He knew me well enough by now to know my competitiveness was no joke, as evidenced by the lengths I'd just gone to for this prank war.

Silently, Matt and I snuck out onto the balcony, just waiting for the reactions from our neighbors. We heard shouting a moment later, probably when they caught sight of the cardboard cutout in the window, and I had to hide behind Matt as I wrestled down a laugh.

The next few moments were a blur of shouting and panic as our neighbors worked up their courage to come out on the balcony, only to start shouting again. When we heard the sound of our banner dropping down and the shouts of fear changed to shouts of outrage, Matt and I stuck our heads around the corner, both of us grinning.

"Surprise!" I yelled. Every single person on the other balcony flipped me off, but Matt and I just laughed. "Consider that our checkmate move, ratcheted up a little after you threw my underwear all over the lawn."

For a brief moment, it seemed like our prank war might continue to escalate despite Matt and I declaring ourselves the winners. But as we talked over the balconies and the adrenaline faded, we came to an official truce and ended all pranking activity for this round.

"So, now that we've officially made peace, do you guys want to come over and play Mario Kart?" asked Matt, leaning casually against the railing. I turned around and smacked him in the chest.

"Not before we finish our championship round, Donovan!"

"We're in!" called our neighbors, immediately heading inside so they could come over to our place. I glared at Matt.

"We're finishing that race before they get here."

"I don't think we're gonna have time-"

"Only if you're slow in and out of the video game! Come on!"

I tugged Matt after me, laughing as we went. I managed to get him on the couch with a controller in hand, but our neighbors knocked on our door before I could unpause, and Matt took the opportunity to ex out of the match with a shit eating grin as he went to get the door. I threw a pillow at him, but I found myself smiling all the same. We'd just been crowned the winners of our prank war, after all, and any time I got to laugh and enjoy myself with Matt, like a normal couple, was a victory as far as I was concerned.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989

TVD/TO Taglist: @elenavampire21

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twjournals · 2 years

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opening presents

endless revenge series

Summary: You have a gift for Stiles but this one won't be under the tree.

Word Count: 1.9k

Warning: smut (riding), public teasing

You giggle as you take in the sight in the mirror. You run your hands over each curve of your body, admiring the bright red set of lingerie that you had pulled on for the special occasion. It was Christmas and to add to the many gifts you had already gotten Stiles, one more couldn't hurt.

You knew how reckless it would be considering how much trouble you were already in. Between touching yourself without permission just a few nights ago and making the choice of wearing a rather short dress for the Christmas party you were hosting with the pack, you knew without a doubt you were in trouble.

You grabbed the matching robe from the bed, pulling it over you to wrap away the bright set and matching red thigh high stockings.

You could hear the commotion downstairs as you tied the robe shut. It only added to the warmth growing between your legs, knowing Stiles would have to stay calm to keep from making a scene.

Would he even be able to? Probably not, but you would enjoy watching him try.

You tied the robe in a neat little bow before you pulling open the door to your bedroom. You could hear Stiles and the pack carrying on in the living room.

"Who's ready to open presents?" Scott suggested, and the pack cheered in response. Scott rose from his seat on the couch to make his way over to the Christmas tree stuffed with presents underneath it.

Stiles looked around the room, searching for your face in the group of people. The smile on his face fell slightly when he didn't see you. "Have anyone seen Y/n?"

Everyone gave a shrug, glancing around the room. Of course, Malia and Lydia knew exactly where you were, but they would never let Stiles know that.

"I thought I saw her go upstairs." Liam blew your cover. You had already made your way down the stairs on your tiptoes to keep from triggering the slightest creak. "Want me to go check on her?"

"That's okay, Liam. Thanks though." Stiles sat down his drink on the coffee table. "I'm gonna make sure she's okay-"

"I'm fine." You smiled when you entered the room as if it was normal being in stockings and a robe. "No need to come check on me."

His brown eyes light up when they saw you before instantly narrowing.

Something was different. You definitely hadn't been wearing that before. No, you were in a short red wine dress. It was impossible for him to forget. It had always been one of his favorite dresses that you owned. Not to mention, he had just fingered you earlier for being brave enough to wear it.

Stiles never mind what you wore. He only hoped you didn't mind that he showed the effect you had on him.

The room was quiet when you walked in. You pretend not to notice the bulging looks you were getting from some of the boys.

Stiles stared at you curiously as you walked across the room to him. He followed you with every step you took, his eyes trailing up your legs. He raised an eyebrow at the neatly tied robe before finally meeting your eyes.

"What are you doing?" Stiles questioned cautiously.

"What do you mean? We're about to open presents, aren't we?" You smiled innocently at him as you gave his chest a push to sit down.

“You changed clothes.” He took a seat on the loveseat.

You lowered yourself onto his lap and crossed your legs as you leaned back against him You turned your attention to Scott as he passed out gifts to everyone in the living room.

“So you’re not gonna tell me what’s under the robe?” He tried again.

You hummed, fighting back the smirk threatening to come to your lips. “Now why would I do that? That would just suck the fun out of everything.”

Scott passed you a gift, clearing his throat slightly. He knew better to ask what you were up too.

You could feel Stiles’ hands rubbing along your hips as you tore at the wrapping paper to open your gift from Lydia. He tried to focus on his own gifts, but how could he when you looked like a present yourself? All wrapped up with a bow.

You grinned when you saw your favorite perfume. She knew you so well. It was a good thing too, considering you were running low. You opened the box as Stiles' big hands rubbed over your thighs underneath your robe.

"Baby, what are you wearing? Are you even wearing anything?" You heard Stiles in your ear.

You bit back a grin when his fingers brushed the string to your thong. His cock twitches in his pants underneath you and you wiggled teasingly. It was on. "Excuse you, sir." You teased as you swatted his hand playfully.

His mouth fall open slightly. "Excuse you, ma'am." His hands gripped onto your hips. "What do you think you're doing?" He tried a third time as if you would ever tell him.

"Well before you interrupted me, I was opening my gift from Lydia. If you don't mind." You scowled playfully before continuing to open the box to get out the bottle of perfume.

"This is seriously my favorite. Thank you, Lydia." You grinned, taking off the top to your perfume and pushing the robe enough to get Stiles a peak as you sprayed your chest.

His eye feel to your chest, admiring what little he could see of the curve of your breasts in the lingerie. My God, as if he didn't think you couldn't get any more brave, you always did. What was he gonna do with you? He promised no one else could see.

“Smells so good.” You grinned. Before you knew it, you were being grabbed up and tossed over his shoulder. “Oh my God, Stiles! Hey, put me down!” You demanded as your hands grabbed on the back of his shirt.

“You’re done.”

Whatever you thought you were doing, you were done.

You squirmed in his arms, trying to make him put you down but he only proceeded to leave the room with you.

“We’re just getting started. Guys, help!” You laughed as Stiles pulled on the back of your robe to pull it right back down to cover you when it started to rise.

Everyone shared a laugh, cracking up at the situation you had got yourself into.

“Should we help her?” Scott leaned over to ask Lydia and Malia.

“No way.” Lydia answered and you scowled when you heard her.

Stiles was already heading up the stairs toward the bedroom, your body bouncing slightly with every step as you hung over his shoulder.

“Who’s is that one? Please say it's mine!” Malia proceeds on, hurrying over to the big gift under the tree.

You watched your friend in disbelief as she easily distracted herself with the presents again as if you weren't asking for their help. "You guys are the worst!"

Stiles chuckled when he noticed everyone had went back to opening gifts.

"I hope that gift isn't even yours!" You continued and Stiles shook his head with a laugh, carrying you into the bedroom and kicking the door shut behind him.

He tossed you down on the bed and you stared up at him innocently.

"Oh no, don't even do that. You got yourself into this." He said as he crawled on the bed. You gasped when Stiles dragged your body closer to mine, whether he settled between your thighs.

Your legs fell on either side of him as his lips attacked your neck in kisses, teeth nibbling at your soft skin. Your small hands gripped onto the collar of his green flannel.

"You knew exactly what you were doing. You seem so pleased with yourself." He mumbled, pressing his bulge against your inner thigh to show you the affect you had on him. "You wanted this, didn't you?"

"Yes..." You breathed as he sucked harshly at your sweet spot, nibbling at the bruising skin.

You wanted this more than anything. You knew before you stepped foot out of this room he would never be able to control himself. You knew him would end up leaving the room just to have his way with you. You had it all planned out.

"Do you have something for me?"

His lips left your neck, bringing you back to reality as he peered down your body at your robe that was surprisingly still tied in a bow.

You nodded.

He rolled off of you, seating himself on the bed for you to take control of the situation. "Let's see."

You watched him get comfortable, debating whether or not to move just yet. Wondering if maybe he had his own ideas, but he stayed still when you got up.

You moved to the side of the bed, standing before him. "Do you want to unwrap your present?"

His fingers didn't hesitate to pull on the bow, loosening the knot and letting the robe fall open to see the bright set of lingerie hugging your curves just right. He didn't speak. His mouth fell open, drinking in his gift and he pushed the robe off of your shoulder. It fell as you turned in a circle to give him a full show. Letting him take in every inch of your body. Of his body. He loved every inch of it.

Despite how long you had been together, Stiles could never get use to seeing you like this. You still had a way of taking his breath away.

"Sometimes it's hard to believe you're all mine." His hands trailed down the curve of your bare waist.

You stepped closer to him, climbing onto his lap and straddling him on the bed. Your fingers ran through his dark hair, tilting his head back to look at you. "Well believe it."

He smiled against your lips as you kissed him. His large hands cupping your ass as he deepened the kiss, pushing his tongue inside of your mouth and tasting the sweet champagne still on your tongue.

You worked quickly to unbutton his flannel, rubbing your hands down his bare chest while pushing the fabric open. His cock throbbed when your fingers teased his happy trail, playing with the hair there. You were such a tease. He laid back on the bed to assist you with his pants, kicking off his shoes as he eagerly shoving his pants down his legs. He couldn't get them off fast enough, but then again he never could with you. That was just how bad he needed you.

You hook your fingers to your panties ready to take them off but his hands stopped you. "No, no, stop- keep them on. I want you just like this."

You nodded. He pressed a kiss to your lips as he pull the damp fabric aside instead. Stiles was pleased with how wet you were already. As much as he wanted a taste, he wanted you wrapped around him more. He didn't care how much people were just downstairs. While they were enjoying their gifts, he intending on enjoying his.

The fat tip of his cock dragged over your entrance. Your mouth fall open slightly in a breathless moan from the delicious stretch as you lowered yourself down on his cock.

You seated yourself fully on his cock before lifting your hips once more and repeating the rotation of your hips. It was impossible to be quiet when he was filling you this good, this full.

He watched you in pure bliss riding his cock, your hips grinding down and your clit dragging against his pelvis. His hand helped to guide your hips down again, bouncing you swiftly. Your breasts bounced in the lingerie, nearly spilling over the cups. He couldn't have asked for anything better for Christmas.

"This one is definitely all mine."

Taglist: @moumouton4

#stiles stilinski imagine #Stiles Stilinski smut #Stiles Stilinski x you #Stiles Stilinski x y/n #Stiles Stilinski x reader #endless revenge

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chasingstardustandmoonbeams · 2 years

Text

Five, Four, Three, Two....

A/N: I'm deep in my Spider-Man feels again and this is the product of that. Enjoy the small drabble!

Word Count: 647

Oh, this was not good. This was so not good.

Peter was late - again. This was the third? Fifth? Date night Peter had almost bailed on because Spider-Man. But tonight? Tonight was New Years Eve and Peter had promised, he'd even gotten down on his knees and vowed, that tonight was going to be different. The start of a new year where Peter could be dependable.

It was almost like the universe was laughing at him now.

"Come on! Don't you guys have anything better to do?" Peter quipped, finally managing to catch the thieves.

"Yo! Spider-Man! Thank you!" The store clerk had come rushing out pulling him into a hug.

Peter awkwardly patted him on the back, "Just doing my job," Peter mumbled, his eyes scanning for anything to give him the time.

"You name it, and I've you. You need anything?" The clerk, Miguel, his name tag read, clapped him on the shoulder.

"Do you actually happen to have the time?" Peter asked, his nerves beginning to heighten.

"Uh, looks like 11:45."

Peter didn't need his spider sense to know you were going to kill him. He let out a low groan, his whole body hunching over.

"Miguel, buddy, maybe you can do me a favor."

------------------------------

The only thing Peter could hear was the thwip of his web shooters as he hurdled himself through the city.

He was gonna make it. He knew it - he could feel it. You were just one block over he could --

Peter's phone alarm rang out. A timer he had set with you the other night to signal in the new year.

He'd missed it. Again.

Peter could feel his heart sink down. He felt like the biggest asshole in the world. With a heavy heart Peter landed on your fire escape, his throat going dry. He would more than understand if this was the last straw and you finally ended things with him. Peter was just surprised you'd held off this long.

Opening the window Peter took a deep breath, pulling off his mask.

"I'm so -"

"Peter!" You yelled before pulling him into a hug.

Peter was baffled, but he embraced you nonetheless.

"I was worried something had happened. I heard about the robbery. You're okay right?"

"Me? I'm fine," he said, watching as your eyes looked him over to confirm what he just said. He couldn't stop the smile from forming. "I thought you'd be mad."

"That you're not hurt?" You questioned.

"No, that I missed date night again. That I missed New Year's Eve," He prodded.

"Peter, I'm a little disappointed, I'm not going to lie to you. But you're here now." You were smiling warmly at him. God, he really didn't deserve you.

"Oh," Peter said, reaching over to wear he had stuck a bouquet of flowers to his side. "They got a little damaged, and they, well, they look terrible, but-"

You pulled Peter in quickly, effectively stopping his ramblings with a kiss. Peter kissed you back in kind, his gloved hand cradling the back of your neck, while the other pulled you in closer. Peter's heart began to race as you moaned against him.

"Peter?" you gasped, pulling away from him.

"Mm?" Was all he could muster back, as he licked his lips.

"Happy New Year," you whispered.

"Happy New Year, Y/N," Peter whispered back sweetly. "Did that still count as a New Years kiss?"

"I think so," you replied, "And if it doesn't you have the whole to keep kissing me."

"That is something I can get behind," Peter laughed as he fully stepped into the apartment. He closed the window behind him as he ushered you both into the room, nothing but smiles and laughter filling the air.

If this was a sign for how the rest of the year was going to go, Peter was not one to complain.

#andrew!peter x reader #andrew!peter parker #andrew!peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #spiderman x reader #spiderman imagine

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tetsunormous · 3 years

Text

Provoking the captain

pairing: dom!Kuroo x f!reader

genre: smut (18+), established relationship

word count: 2.4 k

warning: swearing, fingering, choking, daddy kink, exhibitionism (?), edging, clit spanking, degradation

You and Kuroo have been together for a few months now. It was routine for the two of you to have lunch together with the team, and you could tell how happy it made him to know you get along so well with his teammates. He gets jealous quite easily, although he completely trusts you, so it’s hard for him not to feel some type of way when you go off joking around with the rest of the boys.

You were feeling a little bratty today and before you went your separate ways after lunch, knowing fully well you didn’t give him as much attention as he’d like, you grab Kuroo’s tie and pull him close enough that your lips barely touch.

It’s clear his team was watching with wide eyes, you look up at him before softly saying, “I’ll see you in class, make sure you pay attention, yea?”

You pull away with a faint smirk resting on your lips before turning to the team, “I’ll come by practice later, see you soon!”, and with that you start walking away knowing teasing Testsu like that will definitely come back to bite your ass later.

Kuroo stood there shocked that his baby girl would act out like this infront of other people, but he was also in awe of your confidence. That all changed when he heard Yamamoto and Lev snickering about how you have their captain wrapped around your pretty little finger.

“Oi! Who knew sweet little y/n was actually in charge” Yaku says, knowing it would egg Kuroo on further.

“Get your asses to class! If any of you show up late to practice I’m making you run extra”, and with that Kuroo walks away to the sound of Kenma’s snickers in the back.

It's the last period and you both have chemistry together. Normally he’s very good at staying focused but you couldn't help but smile at the sight of him constantly fidgeting and scrunching up his nose. “Are you okay, Tetsu? You seem a little distracted today” you ask as you rest your hand on his thigh.

“I don’t know what game you’re playing right now, but you know how I feel about you getting so close to others, especially right in front of me”, he turns towards you and whispers just loud enough for you to hear, “you didn’t give me any attention at lunch, and you top it off with a tease in front on my team? You really are my naughty girl aren't you chibi-chan?”

“Is that what I did? I’m sorry Tetsu” you say before shyly smiling, “maybe you can tell me more about what I did wrong after class, okay daddy?”

At this point, you knew you were screwed but watching your boyfriend’s eyes darken never fails to get you excited.

The rest of class went by slower than you hoped but the not so secretive glances Kuroo kept making made it entertaining to say the least. You tried your hardest not to pay him any attention, but the way his leg was bouncing against yours told you what you already knew. Practice was going to be different today.

The two of you start packing up your books as the bell rings and he’s already standing behind you with his large hand caressing your side.

“You better be good and finish your homework while I’m in practice chibi-chan, I’m not sure you’ll have time to complete it later after your little games earlier” he whispers, sending shivers down your spine.

“Is that a threat, or a promise Tetsu?”

You could taste the lust in his voice, “My pretty girl, I promise I’m going to fuck some manners into you”

And with that he leads you out of the classroom and over to the volleyball gymnasium. He taps your ass as you head towards the table in the corner where you normally get your work done while he's practicing.

“Alright kitten, give me a kiss before I go change for practice”

“Hmmm I don’t know Tetsu, for someone complaining about my manners, you forgot the magic word when you asked”

“Is this how you want tonight to go? Because if you keep this up, I will drag you into that janitor closet and remind you of your place”

Right as you were about to give in and offer him a kiss, the team floods into the gym and starts shouting at the two of you.

“I think it’s time for you to go captain. Don’t worry though, I’ll be a good girl and finish my homework”

He chuckles dryly, “You better.” and heads to the locker rooms.

Practice goes as usual but you can tell he’s on edge. Everyone in the room could tell Kuroo was on top of his game today. His serves are more powerful, his spikes are breaking through all their blocks, and his read blocking was scary accurate. Every so often he would make eye contact with you and it was nearly impossible to keep yourself from squeezing your legs shut. Kuroo is an incredible player but seeing the effect your little act has on his skills was shamelessly attractive.

You’re normally pretty well behaved and it’s a given you’d finish your work so completing your homework was never something that troubled you. However, the sounds of Kuroo’s hands smacking against the balls was distracting enough to make the process longer than normal. You finish all your work just in time to his two hour practice ending.

As you start packing up your work, you feel a presence looming over you and Kuroo’s scent fills your mind. He takes your hair and sweeps it behind your shoulder before leaning close to your ear, “I asked Yaku to lock up, I’m giving you two minutes to meet me in the janitors closet. If you’re late, I’m sure the boys wouldn't mind watching me put you in your place.”

A shiver runs down your spine instantly, but you know there's no hiding the wetness leaking from just the thought of what might happen next. He begins to leave and you can physically feel your body blushing as you scramble to pack up your bag. You knew teasing Kuroo would lead to a ‘funishment’ of sorts, but you’ve never heard him speak to you in such a sadistic tone.

As you pick up your book bag and head towards the janitor’s closet, your heart feels like it wants to burst from the anticipation. It’s common for Kuroo to get a little rough when you’d have sex but perhaps acting up at school wasn’t the best choice. Especially if the team has a big game next week.

You quickly slip into the closet and you’re met with your gorgeous boyfriend wearing a shit eating smirk, “Just in time kitten, I was beginning to think you want the team to see how desperate you are for my cock. No worries, I’m sure they’ll hear you either way.”

He kisses you softly and takes your bag from you before setting it on the floor. You’re standing there playing with your fingers with your legs pressed tightly together as he tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“Why do you look so nervous? What happened to the attitude, kitten?

“I’m not nervous!”

“No? It doesn’t make you nervous that the boys are going to do some individual practices before locking up? It doesn’t make you nervous that I plan to fuck you dumb so you know what happens when little girls try to give me an attitude, and the only thing separating us and the team is that door behind you?” He takes his hand and tilts your chin so you’re looking straight at him. He gives you a small smile, “My, you must really be a whore if it doesn’t make you nervous that anyone who’s in the gym will be able to hear just how desperate you are. We both know how loud you get”

“I know how you get when I’m bratty, for someone so smart you’d think it was easy to figure my intentions by now”

“Do you really think you’re in any position to talk to me like that?” His right hand now gripping the sides of your neck while his left hand travels under your skirt and begins to caress your thigh, “especially after admitting you acted out on purpose”

His hand is more than big enough to fully grasp your throat. You begin to feel a little lightheaded from the lack of blood flow, but that only makes you want him more. You know his left hand is snaking its way up towards your heat but you can’t help but to want to push him one step further.

“You gonna keep your promise from earlier daddy?”

Kuroo almost wants to laugh at your words, but part of him is still in awe at your boldness today. “I’m going to have so much fun with you tonight”

He slams your body against the door as the two of you begin to makeout. You moan into his mouth as he kisses you with urgency. You grant him access as his tongue swipes across your bottom lip and his left hand finds itself situated between your legs. You feel a tap against your inner thigh and you spread your legs open while your tongues move in unison. The grip on your throat tightens as his fingers begin to stroke your pussy over your little panties. He pulls away and leans in close -- kissing, nibbling, and whispering into your ear knowing how sensitive you are, “what’s got you so wet kitten? We’ve barely just begun”.

“You Tetsu” you whimper into his shoulder as his fingers start to hover over your needy clit.

“Yeah kitten? I barely touch you and you’re already soaking. Do you think you deserve to feel good after teasing me today?”

“T-tetsu, please” as you clutch onto his arms looking up at him to see his expression. However, you’re met with his piercing eyes, now a shade darker, staring intently into yours as he starts rubbing you over the thin fabric you still wear.

You continue to whimper and his speed increases but he suddenly stops and takes a step back.

“I asked you a question, didn’t I?”

“I promise I’ll be good Tetsu, please, I’m sorry for being a brat” you quickly respond with your hands reaching out to him but he just chuckles.

“Of course you’ll be good now kitten, you want me to help you get off. You want me to fill you up and remind you how good my cock feels inside you.” He walks towards you and cages you between his body and the door, “bad girls don’t get what they want, but for now all I want is to fuck you with my fingers. If you even think about trying to cover your mouth I will make sure you don’t get to cum for days. You want to act up? Daddy’s going to make sure everyone knows who you belong to, go it?”

“Y-yes yes, please fuck me with your fingers”

He roughly tugs your panties off and uses his foot to spread your legs wide open. His left hand spreads your pussy open before spanking your clit, sending a sharp pain up your body, and you can’t help the moan that escapes your lips, “That’s not my fucking name.”

“Daddy! Yes, yes daddy I got it!”

His lips attach to yours and he strokes your wet folds feeling how you shudder at his touch. You moan into the kiss and he bites your bottom lip slightly as his thumb finds its way to your clit. “So fucking wet.”

“Only for you. I’m only this wet for you daddy. Please, I want to feel your fingers”

“Yea?” His thumb continues to rub you as two fingers lightly trace over your folds teasing your hole. “Let me hear how much you want my fingers in you.”

“Please! I’m sorry for teasing you today, please just let me feel you daddy”, you whine into him trying to keep your knees from buckling. “I promise to be your good girl, I need you in me! Please daddy, please make me feel good!”

He smirks down at you before plunging two fingers in your tight little hole and your body arches back while you let out a whiney moan. “Let me hear how good my fingers feel inside you baby” His fingers begin to curl and continually hit your spot while his thumb persistently pays attention to your clit.

“F-fuck daddy, you make me feel so good”

Your arms latch onto his for balance, and your head falls back against the door. Kuroo takes the opportunity to run his tongue against the exposed curvature of your neck before planting kisses against your jaw. He sucks against the skin where your neck and ear meets before biting on your earlobe, “I want everyone out there to hear how needy you are” and inserts another finger into your dripping cunt.

“Oh my god” you breathe out, “daddy it feels so good!” you scream not caring who’s on the other side of the door. All you can think about are his fingers expertly pumping into you, hitting your g-spot every time, while his left hand spreads your pussy lips further making it easier to continually rub your clit.

He can feel how close you are by the way your walls are squeezing around his finger. By the way you’re shamelessly moaning out his name asking for permission to cum. By the way the grip you have on his arms tighten and the heavy heaving of your chest.

So he stops.

“Bad girls don’t get what they want, remember?” He sticks his fingers into his mouth and sucks all your juices off before bending down to pick up your bag. “Maybe next time, you’ll think about how badly you want to finish before you become a fucking brat. Now, let's go out there and show everyone what a needy slut you are, yea?”

“T-that’s it?”

“I’m sorry, you didn't think I was actually going to let you finish, did you?”

The blush on your cheeks only grows darker at the thought of facing his teammates. You bend down to put your panties back on before you feel his hand rubbing your ass. “When we get back to my place, I promise to leave handprints all over this pretty ass. If you behave yourself, I’ll think about letting you cum”

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smut #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#hq smut #hq x reader #hq!!#kuroo #kuroo tetsurō #kuroo smut #tw choking #tw degradation #tw exhibitionism #tw daddy kink #dark

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1-800-marvelswhore · 2 years

Text

Nothing Even Matters.

genre>> eventual smut. fluff. angst. childhood best friends to lovers au.

synopsis>> he was your best friend. nothing more. nothing less. you never thought he reciprocated your feelings... until he did, but you wanted him to achieve his dreams so you lie and deny any feelings for him. but at what cost?

warnings>> unrequited love (that's actually requited), a shit ton of angst, hurt feelings, strong language, mentions of alcoholism, implied sexual content (nothing explicit), reader is a bit of a bitch, terrible coping mechanisms, reader passes out, mention of throw up! this chapter is really quite sad for the first one but the beat goes on.

word count>> 2.8k

note: whew! let's get this bread!! welcome to my first chapter of "Nothing Even Matters" This randomly came to me as I listened to the song- well Nothing Even Matters by Big Time Rush lmaoo. The contents in this chapter doesn't quite sync with the lyrics, but as the story develops the more it'll sync. Anyway! Thank you for reading <3

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🎧: Cry by Cigarettes After Sex

🎧: Hentai by Cigarettes After Sex

Maybe drinking away the rest of your remaining brain cells and sorrows wasn't the "smartest" or "rational" thing to do at 6 pm on a Sunday evening. The sun had barely set and you were already on to your 4th shot in the measly time of 15 minutes. You couldn't care though you've had enough of being sober.

You were completely and irrevocably in love with your best friend, but he didn't reciprocate; not his fault. You knew you couldn't control who he does and doesn't have feelings for, but some part of you had always hoped maybe? But when you came down from being too hopeful it shattered you. Each and every time.

You sniffled at the thought and shook it off, you signaled for the bartender who's name you had learned was Min Yoongi. His skin was milky white, he had cat eyes and a button nose that was to die for. The best part was his pearly white teeth and cute gummy smiled that followed though.

"Another one? It's barely 7, don't you want to... I don't know slow down? Why're you drinking so much anyway? And on a Sunday, what's that all about?" He questioned cautiously. You'd come to this bar a lot and from your frequent visits Yoongi has no doubt in his mind that you suffered with alcoholism.

"I'm sorry do you get paid to interrogate or to pour drinks? I wanted a shot not a therapist." Your words slurred, but they still came out as venomous as you wanted.

"Jeez. Sorry for being a decent human being." He spat sarcastically. You were too buzzed to care though.

To anyone who was close to you they knew of your unrequited feelings for your best friend...everyone except who mattered that is. You dealt with the rejection, but when you saw him you acted as normal as can be. He didn't see how you were when he wasn't around and you liked it that way. You always knew no matter the feelings you had for him he was still your best friend before anything.

It has been different though recently. Taehyung hadn't contacted you in almost 3 weeks and it broke you more and more as each day passed. That's when you started drowning yourself in liquor and despair.

Cause and effect, you see?

Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. You knew the phone worked both ways, but you couldn't bring yourself to text or call him first. Too worried about what he'd might tell you if you did.

You shook your thoughts off as Yoongi had slid you your shot of tequila making you buzz with excitement to feel the burn down your throat.

"Keep 'em coming too and you'll get quite the hefty tip from me mister." You lifted your shot and scarfed it down in one gulp. Yoongi just blanked at you and continued wiping the bar down while pouring you shot after shot.

1 hr 30 minutes and a tequila-full bladder later...

"I-I'm gonna go p-pee." You hiccuped and stumbled to the bathroom. Your vision began to blur and you thought maybe you should have stopped after the 10th shot, but your mind wasn't racing at 1000 mph...you were happy and as temporary as you knew it was you were relieved.

You looked at your reflection and wanted to heave whatever alcohol you had drunk this evening. Your hair was frizzy and your pupils were blown. You hated how you looked. You knew you didn't have healthy coping mechanisms, but this was better than sleeping around you tried to argue with yourself.

You looked away from the mirror and went into a stall; fighting the urge to throw up as each minute passes. You finished emptying your bladder when a knock sounded on the door.

"O-occupado!" You tried to yell, but wound up hiccuping instead.

"Y/n?" You froze. What the hell is he doing here? You couldn't ever mistake that deep, baritone, tender voice.

You flushed the toilet, washed your hands, and swung the door open and therein was your best friend standing before you. If not for his addicting scent of sandalwood and maple, maybe you'd think you were hallucinating, but in your peripheral you noticed Yoongi wiggling your phone in his hand and you huffed.

That traitor. What was the big deal? So you drink everyday at hefty amounts, but who cares? You're only 24 you're not going to die.

"W-what are you doin here Tae?" You spoke voice less slurred as his presence made you somewhat sober up.

"Worried about you is what. Do you know the amount of predators out there waiting to take advantage of intoxicated women?" He furrowed his brows at your carelessness.

He cared about you. More than you thought he did and seeing you like this was killing him inside. He wondered why and when did you start drinking so much and he hated himself for not being there for you.

"I can take care of myself thank you very much. Sorry to have put a stump into your night, you can go now though. I'll get a Uber home." You brushed him off. Your heart was beating so fast and hard it felt almost hard to breathe. You huffed softly and walked towards Yoongi giving him a scowl.

"Hey now, who leaves their phone unlocked while they're drunk as fuck? Better me than a thief I like to think, I do think you need to go home you had enough to drink." He said calmly not caring about the amount of daggers you were throwing him right now.

Was he serious right now? Fuck him.

"Are you fucking serious right now? Fuck you." You decided to voice your thoughts. He simply shrugged and threw his cleaning rag over his shoulder walking away.

"Look Y/n, let me drive you home so you can lay down. You must've had a long day." Taehyung suggested. You scoffed at that. A long day it was indeed. Not that he needed to know that, but maybe it was your alcohol induced mind that made you think he didn't deserve to know about your day.

"Taehyung no. You go home. Like I said I'll take an Uber home." You said dismissively. You walked past him and quickly exited the bar secluding yourself on a bench in the parking lot.

Truth was you didn't even trust an Uber. You knew you were wasted 10x fold, but you were stubborn. Always have been. You were too embarrassed to even be in Taehyung's presence, which is ironic because he's seen you at your absolute worst. But even so you couldn't hide your humiliation right now.

"Do you really think I'm going to let you take an Uber? My mom would behead me." Taehyung spoke softly. You simply glanced at him and inhaled sharply. You've been so keen on ignoring him you failed to take the time to admire how he looked.

Dressed in denim jeans and a leather jack with a Metallica t-shirt underneath he looked straight out of your wildest dreams. You bit your lip and just shook your leg up and down anxiously. A habit you ensued at the measly age of 4.

"Look Tae-" You started but was interrupted by Taehyung.

"Stop fighting me on this, okay? I care about you so let me take you home and-" This time you interrupted him.

"Care about me? That's fucking rich." You scoffed to yourself but Taehyung had heard you.

"And what's that supposed to mean Y/n, huh?! All I've done for the past 15 years is care about you so I don't know if you've lost some brain cells in the amount of alcohol you drank tonight, but don't dare insinuate that I don't care. That's just cruel." He seethed through gritted teeth.

In hindsight, you weren't sure why you said what you did. You had no reason at all to believe he hadn't cared for you, but it's as though you wanna push him away. Hoping it'd make things better for you.

Was that selfish? Maybe.

Were you thinking rationally right now? Nope, not at all.

"Listen Kim, call me cruel all you want, but from the time we turned age of 16- well you 17 and you got all popular and became a male model or whatever the fuck it is that you do," That was uncalled for. You knew his job meant the world to him, but the ball was rolling and there was no stopping now. You noticed him wince and it made your heart crack but instead of stopping you continued. Digging the knife you thrust into his chest deeper. "So excuse me for thinking you give any fucks about me at all anymore. Why're you here anyway? You haven't contacted me in almost 3 weeks and now all of a sudden you come to my "rescue" what, do you get off on being the superhero? Well guess what? I don't need you," Deeper the knife plunged as you continued to speak. "Never have. So go fuck yourself."

You said those words...so carelessly... so vehemently.. without thoughts about the repercussions of your words and actions. You were far too drunk and your mind wasn't even on the Earth's axis. You reckoned you probably wouldn't even remember these events the next day; you sure hoped you wouldn't

"I haven't contacted you in 3 weeks because I was offered a job in Paris. I wasn't sure if I was gonna take it because," Taehyung clenched his fists as his eyes glossed over. "I wanted to make sure you'd be alright without me. Thanks for that confirmation by the way. So yeah, maybe I'll go fuck myself there and respect your wishes." He chuckled humorlessly.

You froze. The world was spinning and you felt bile rising in your throat before you suddenly hurled everything you had consumed in the last couple of hours. The world never stopped spiraling from underneath you and finally the world went black.

The next morning...

You woke up as the shine was beaming against your face. You looked around squinting as your eyes struggled to adjust to the brightness of your surroundings. You looked down and noticed you were no longer in your outfit from the previous night, but you were in a t-shirt much too big for your frame.

You continued to look around as you noticed a picture of you and Taehyung framed on an oak wood dresser. You stalked towards it cautiously finally coming to the realization of where you were. Of course, this was Taehyung's room. Where else would you be? You knew Taehyung would never leave you in the streets even after those venomous words you spat him last night.

Wincing at the memory you walked down the stairs slowly and noticed Taehyung sitting at his desk, glasses on, his dog Yeontan on his lap, reading a book. What a sight. You didn't have time to admire though because you didn't want to seem like a creep so you cleared your throat instead.

"Do you have aspirin? My head is killing me." You rasped shyly. He didn't spare you a glance as he answered dryly.

"Bathroom cabinet. Water is in the fridge." Was all he said. You nodded solemnly, but you knew you deserved it. This wasn't worse than what you had done, but this felt so very shitty.

You were in denial but deep down you knew you were a struggling alcoholic. You knew this for a fact because at the moment you craved pineapple vodka. You were hungover for fucks' sake, but you were still craving alcohol? If that wasn't alcoholism you didn't know what was.

"Fuck." You sighed softly to yourself. You knew you had to apologize and it couldn't be anything simple. No you had to apologize from deep within your heart. No words could even begin to fix what you broke, but you could try. Never was there any harm in that. You grabbed two aspirins and just decided to open the tap to take the pills.

You rinsed your face and stepped out the bathroom. Yeontan yipped at the sight of you and it made you smile sadly.

"Taehyung could we talk?" You cautiously spoke. He closed his book and took off his glasses. His demeanor at the moment was intimidatingly sexy as he stood up tall, dark, and handsome as always. Boy, did you have feelings for this man.

"No. I'm going to talk and you're going to listen, got that?" He asked you arms crossed over his chest as he sat on his desk now staring at you intently with dark eyes. You nodded in response to which he clicked his tongue. "I didn't appreciate being spoke to in the way you spoke to me last night. I didn't deserve that whatsoever and you didn't even have a care as you spoke," You were about to protest when he simply put a hand up stopping you. "Especially not with how much I love you." He spoke more softly at the last sentence.

Your heart stopped and your breathing halted. What did he just say? Those words were like a sweet melody that you'd like to play over and over on repeat. Like a song you'd never get tired of- a tune that gave you a sense of comfort.

Taehyung began walking towards you slowly, stopping a safe 5 feet away.

"I love you so much and it wounded me as you spoke those words to me last night. I don't know why you said all those things, but I don't care. I want to be yours. And I want you to be mine." His eyes began to pool and you wanted to wipe his tears, but fought against it. "Say those 3 words and 8 letters and I'm yours forever. No Paris. Nothing will stop me from loving you." He said softly staring into you so intently you felt as though you would melt.

Part of you was so happy. You wanted to tell him you loved him- that you had for as long as you could remember, but one thing in his confession stuck out the most; "No Paris." You couldn't possibly be the one to stop him from pursuing his dream. For as long as you knew him, Paris had always been his endgame. What kind of person would you be if you were to prevent him from going? He'd grow to resent you, you were sure.

You closed your eyes and tried blinking away the tears in your eyes. What you were about to do would fucking ruin you, but it had to be done. He deserved that job in Paris. You knew he needed it much more than he wanted it and you'd be a complete fool to let him throw that away.

"Taehyung... I love you. But purely as a best friend. Nothing more. Nothing less. I- I don't see you that way and I never will." You stared down at the hardwood floors fighting the urge to throw yourself into him and kiss him into oblivion.

A couple beats passed and he'd still not said a word to you so with great hesitancy you looked up at the 5'11 male. His eyes were bloodshot and tears were staining his cheeks. It fucking broke you. Broke you beyond repair. There was no fixing what was broken here.

Without another word he stormed out of his house slamming the door in his exit. As soon as the door closed you choked out a gut-wrenching sob. With wobbling legs you walked up the stairs to his room staring at the picture on his dresser. Another choked sob escaping you as you recalled the day it was taken.

It was Christmas day, Taehyung decided to throw a house party with only close friends and family. You were dressed as an elf and Tae dressed up as Santa. It was comical really. You both were under a mistletoe and Taehyung had lowered his beard, but instead of kissing you he licked your cheek. A close family-friend of yours, Jungkook , had captured the moment just in time.

Smiling grimly as you reminisced that moment you made a promise and swore to Taehyung and to yourself.

"I promise you Taehyung. The sun will shine on us again... I will find you and we will be who we could've been. I love you. Don't give up on me." You whispered to the framed picture. You placed it back to its place, got dressed and folded the clothes Taehyung had let you borrow for the night.

You left.

Not a single trace of your being there except the neatly folded clothes on Taehyung's bed. Duvet made and two tear drops on it.

They say there's no greater feeling than love. They're wrong.

Loss is a bigger feeling than love because you knew this feeling in your chest wouldn't go away.

There was a Taehyung shaped hole in your heart and nothing will be the same until you see him again.

But until then... you'll wait.

After all... love conquers all.

It's making you cry every time You give your love to me this way Saying you'd wait for me to stay I know it hurts you - Cry , Cigarettes After Sex

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danniburgh · 3 years

Text

Rushingly Bittersweet (Javier Peña x f!reader) part 23

Pairing: Javier Peña x ofc//f!reader with name.

Summary: After the fall of Escobar everything starts happening way too fast for Javier; his raise, his new office, his new team, the Cali cartel’s operation, the sudden arrival of a new agent that was transferred to his team for no apparent reason, the way he was falling in love with her almost unintentionally.

And he couldn’t seem to stop any of that.

Word count: +6.4k

Chapter warnings: lmao angst and then fluff, a brief mention of food, and drugs and a dog.

A/N: This chapter is set after season three. // aAAAAAA this is so long i dont even why but it took me like ALL day FUCK FUCK FUCK anyway thanks to all my babies that got me through the desperation of wanting this to write itself lmao, also two chapters and we are DONE with the main story holy shit

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comments and reblogs are eternally appreciated 💓 let me know if you wanna be tagged

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gifs: @pascalsky

Javier groaned when he sat up and moved his legs to get them out of the bed and looked at the alarm clock on his nightstand; three forty-eight in the morning. He turned on the lamp, reached at his nape and scratched with blunt nails and reached for the pack of smokes that he left on the nightstand before laying down to try to sleep with the other hand.

He pulled the last one out of the pack and stood up to throw the empty carton in the trashcan near the door; he eyed the empty pack from the day before in the bottom of the can with the cigarette clinging to his lips thanks to near dry spit making them sticky and let out a deep sigh.

It wasn’t working.

His tongue moved to shift the cigarette from his lips and he let it fall inside the trashcan, knowing it wouldn’t be the last one he put between his lips, but at least he didn’t light it.

Javier thought of getting out of the room and raiding his dad’s bar again, but he knew it wouldn’t do him any good.

It wasn’t working.

He knew it, and it couldn't be denied any longer. He wasn’t getting any younger and his old ways weren’t helping him forget as they used to ten or fifteen years before.

Javier walked back to the bed and sat on the edge, letting his half naked body fall backwards on the mattress and looking at the ceiling, he felt his hand twitch and he felt it empty without a nicotine stick firmly pressed between his index and his thumb but did nothing to calm it down.

Ten or fifteen years before: had it really been that long? Javier huffed at nothing and scratched his chest, leaving his hand there, uselessly wondering what would it be of him if he did something different; incidentally working through years and years of missteps, mishappens, mistakes, and shaping them in some other way that would have saved him from five months of poor sleep and constant drunkenness, five months of chain-smoking and lack of sharpness, five months of only remembering the bad things he had done and the bad things he deserved.

He huffed again because of course his retirement wouldn’t be him sitting on a porch to enjoy the evening Texas breeze and a glass of scotch; even if he had tried it.

It was having nightmares every third night he wanted nothing but to shove deep inside his head, but that then, reluctantly, he had to tell his new therapist his dad had forced him to go to.

It was having to remember all the men he saw dying every time he heard the words war or coke or shooting. Having to remember them changing and fighting and dying for a cause he wasn’t sure if he still believed in. Having to remember Carrillo every time he and Steve talked on the phone.

It was remembering you each time someone sent him a letter congratulating his work or asking for consultation or asking for an interview; because he had an idea of what you had been through and he was sure he didn’t deserve all that claptrap. He did nothing but cause chaos and destruction and death and even though his therapist said it wasn’t his fault he knew it was because he aided for it to happen.

But you? You did everything you could to find yourself a way to recover what was yours, and you still lost it.

Javier sat up again and after six exact seconds of consideration, he leaned forward and opened his nightstand drawer. He took the black tape he had been clinging to for five months and held it in front of him for a couple of minutes.

He chuckled at himself and gripped the small cassette, took from the drawer his tape player, pressed the red button for it to open, let the tape fall in the slit and closed it, turned it on and rewinded the tape, trying to make the calculations in his head of how many times he had repeated that process as the tape ran to the beginning.

He put the headphones on, laid down back on the bed and pressed play.

“Hi, Javi, uhm…”

God, how he missed you.

The phone rang again, fuck the phone, you thought, and hid your face under a pillow, trying to fall asleep again despite the clear signal that you were no longer sleepy.

And the phone rang again, you lifted your head from the cocoon of pillows and eyed the clock on your nightstand, who was calling you at five seventeen in the morning?

Grunting, you got out of the bed and walked out of the bedroom to the small space that made your living room, dining room and kitchen and got to the phone.

“Hello?” your voice was a deep groan, and you cleared your throat.

“Another letter came for you, when are you gonna change your address?” your dad’s voice broke through the receiver and you closed your eyes, breathing in and out the stress it was already provoking in you.

“I’ll get to it, dad,” you replied “are you gonna send it to me or can I go to the house?” you questioned, feeling already your lower lip tremble.

“I’ll send it, your mom doesn’t wanna see you yet,” he let out in a stern voice “sorry, pumpkin.” he whispered and hung up the phone.

You sat on the armrest of the loveseat next to the phone and let your tears fall from your eyes, not even bothering about cleaning them anymore.

You sighed and nodded to yourself, letting your tired gaze roam around your tiny living space and you missed the openness of your family house, the one you had come back to and were expelled from by an angry mother that felt ashamed of the truth you told them.

But you had to give it to her, she didn’t even know you went down to Colombia, or that you’d been having drug issues, or that they fired you.

She had told you she didn’t know who you were anymore.

Neither did you.

So you left, they couldn’t be more disappointed in you than you were in yourself, so you walked out as your mom wanted and tried to find a home for yourself as you still wondered what the hell were you supposed to do. There wasn’t a handbook or a protocol that taught people how to stop being a DEA agent, the government didn’t train people to go back to civility or even offered a program to forget all the shit you had lived in the places they had sent you.

You stayed in your hometown, unknowingly to your old friends and twenty minutes away from your parent’s home and didn’t leave your house unless absolutely necessary; Albuquerque wasn’t a small town, but it wasn’t big, and you were dreading walking past someone who knew you before you had lost yourself and tried to explain all your baggage, you didn’t have the time, or the energy. And you didn’t want people feeling sorry for yourself, with the woman in the mirror you had enough.

Everything seemed pointless, and you felt heavy all the time, as if you were carrying a chain ball in each foot and shackles in your hands while being dragged down by quicksand.

In the kitchen's corner you saw the last two boxes you still didn’t have energy to unpack after moving them across the continent and let out a teary sight as you stood from the armrest and walked to them.

You opened the first box and saw it filled with office clutter; pencils, markers, some notebooks and notepads, the brown journal you had been looking for to burn on your stove; a set of keys you weren’t sure what they opened and in the bottom, folded pieces of paper.

“Oh, no.” you muttered to the air of the warm kitchen and you doubted reaching in for it… The hesitation lasted two minutes but for you it was like two hours, you knew what it was, you knew why it was in that box and when you took it it felt hot and heavy. You were holding feelings in that letter, you were holding hours of shed tears and memories you didn’t want to have anymore. Memories that still haunted you whenever you smelled roasted colombian coffee and saw an ad of Malduros on tv.

You didn’t open it. You knew what was written there. And for a few seconds you thought of burning it on the stove instead.

“Well, I don’t want this, might as well send it.” you muttered under your breath, recognizing it would do you some good to stop holding to it, acknowledging it would do you some good to know he had it. If he wanted to rip it into millions of pieces or burn it or toss it in the trash or eat it, it was his problem.

You bit your lip as you walked to the phone; you hadn’t thought of him in a while. But as you sat on the loveseat all the shit you wanted to bury if not get rid of came back to your mind like a high wave of a rough sea; sharp, cold, gritty.

“Shit.” you gasped, trying to breathe in and out several times because you didn’t want to cry. It was too early for crying.

You grabbed the phone and thought who could have Javier’s address. God, even thinking of his name made your chest flutter and your stomach churn. You had fooled yourself into thinking he didn’t have an effect on you anymore, into even assuring five months was enough to forget him. What a fool.

You dialed the number of the only person you knew for sure knew the address by heart; the phone rang three times before it was answered.

“Hello?” a sleepy nasal voice greeted, and you smiled through the few tears that had accumulated in your eyes, grateful that he still had his embassy issued cell phone.

“Stod!” your smile was making your cheeks hurt, and you wondered in the back of your head when was the last time you had smiled.

“Who’s this? Flor?” he asked and you let out a stiff chuckle. You decided not to be a huge asshole and dump something heavy as your actual name that early in the morning, so you went with it.

“Yeah, sorry to call at this hour, did I wake you?” you played with the edge of the loveseat’s armrest.

“Kinda,” a noise of shuffle was heard “but it’s almost seven here, so I’m not that mad,” he teased, making you chuckle again “how are you? to what do I owe the honor?”

“Uhm, I–‌I’m calling to take advantage of you,” you said, hearing his chuckle through the line and a whisper of of course you did, “by any chance do you know Peña’s address in Texas?” you asked, closing your eyes and crossing your fingers, wishing for him to not ask:

“Why?”

“I–‌I have something of his...” you mumbled under your breath “I just found it and I wanna send it.” you said, which wasn’t technically a lie.

“Uh…” Stoddard hesitated, and you heard a faint of a pouring noise in the back that made you sigh, a cup of coffee would do you wonders, “well I do–I don't know if I’m allowed to just say it, y’know?” you frowned.

“Oh, come on, please?” you pleaded, your leg started bouncing because of the anxiety that was growing in your chest.

“What is it? is something important?” he asked.

“Super important,” you nodded even though he couldn’t see, “he needs it.”

“How do you know?” he questioned again, and you whined under your breath.

“Uhm, I ju–‌I just know, uhm…” since when were you a twitchy, nervous mess? “can’t you just tell me?”

“Not really, no.” he muttered in that voice that made you want to punch him and hug him at the same time.

You let out the air of your lungs and controlled your body.

You had promised yourself to tell the truth when it was necessary. So you were going to.

“Look, Stod, this is long to explain, okay?” you began, and he hummed affirmatively in response, “the only thing you need to know is that the thing I have here is very important that he gets because he needs to know that I kept it for him.” you said, closing your eyes again.

“Flor you just told me nothing.” he let out, his voice was being muffled and it sounded like he had something in his mouth.

“Fuck, Stoddard, I love him, okay?” you let out “and this thing I have is a letter that I need him to have so he knows I love him!” you panted and bit your lip when he didn’t answer.

You just had said out loud you loved someone, you just had said to someone you loved Javier Peña for the first time. Shit.

“Oh,” Stoddard said after a moment and you held your breath, “you have where to write?”

“You’re a fucking king!”

Six hours later, you wanted nothing else but to turn the fucking car around.

“This is a mistake, this is a fucking mistake!” you yelled inside your car, opening the glove box to toss there your sunglasses. The highway 285 was eternal, and you hated driving through it; it was empty, there was nothing but desert landscapes and the occasional tree, but you were halfway, just crossing the state border and there was nothing in the everlasting earth that would make you drive back home, not even your fucking hesitation, not even your self-doubt.

“What the fuck am I gonna say?” you asked yourself again, chewing on your lower lip and gripping the steering wheel, “am I just pulling on his driveway and knocking on his door and saying hi I’m sorry I broke your heart I have a letter for you? Fuck!” you saw the beginning of yet another town and you drove slowly looking for a gas station, “or better yet, I read this shit to him to complete the humiliation!” you turned your head for a second at the letter resting easily in the co-pilot’s seat and you groaned, finding a gas station. You were also hungry.

With the car’s tank full and a plastic bag filled with snacks for the remaining six hours, you sighed to yourself and started driving again.

“You’re doing this because you need closure,” you told yourself, shoving your hand into a bag of salted chips and bringing three to your mouth “if he doesn’t wanna see you, too bad, he’s gonna miss your haircut,” you mumbled, chewing at the same time “you leave the letter and let him decide what to do with it.”

With the highway 285 long behind you and the sky just beginning to turn orange, you had convinced yourself of your own reasons and you even had a plan to go back home as soon as you were done in Laredo. You also had promised yourself and all your Muertos, you wouldn’t react to Javier Peña if he didn’t react to you and as you had learned in your three-year station in México, you can’t break a promise you made to dead people.

“Shit, shit, shit,” you said when the marked map told you you were a block away from the Peña’s ranch house, you were chewing the last bit of a nearly melted chocolate bar you had bought hours ago as your nervousness betrayed you and you started chuckling at your impulses, “holy fuck, I wanna go home!”

But you were already there. The gate was open and there were two trucks parked on the driveway. So you sucked everything you were feeling, and you turned off the ignition. Fuck. It.

You breathed in and out several times before you unbuckled your seatbelt, grabbed the letter and opened the door. You did it again as you walked the gravel path to the house and were grateful it was already dark, so at least the night could help you hide until the last second.

You stopped walking, rationality coming back to you.

“What the fuck am I doing?” you whispered to yourself and turned around, shaking your head as you walked back to the car.

“Mija!” you heard behind you, you froze in place and stiffened at the sound of a thick accent in a rough and warm voice.

“Oh, no.” you said under your breath.

“It’s you!” you turned around, and you saw the face of the man you had only met through an old picture Javier carried with him at all times. “viniste.” (you came) behind him walked a black, large dog that ignored the man and huffed at you.

“I’m sorry?” your voice went out thin and high, and you wanted to chastise yourself for it. You had given yourself a seven-hour pep talk on the way, and you were already breaking.

“I told him,” the man rolled his eyes behind the glasses he was wearing and gestured for you to walk closer “Jesús Peña, nice to finally meet you,” he extended his hand to you and you took it and shook it, the dog got closer to you and smelled your legs, you tried to smile at him and at the dog but tears were already gathering inside your eyes “le dije que ibas a venir a buscarlo.” (I told him you’ll come looking for him)

“I’m sorry, Mr. Peña, I–‌I do–‌”

“Mr. Peña nada,” he interrupted, “call me Chucho,” you nodded and sniffed slightly “ven,” (come) he gestured again and started walking towards the house, “Pepe, métete.” (get inside) he called, and the dog trotted to his side.

“Wait, Chucho, wait!” you called him under your breath as you followed him, he didn’t stop.

“Come on in,” he opened the house door and waited for you to get inside. He nodded his head for you to walk in and you frowned.

“You don’t even know who I am, what ar–‌”

“I know enough,” he said solemnly, walked inside and you and the dog did too and he pointed to an armchair “siéntate, mija, he’s on the back.” he turned around and walked through an archway to what it looked like the kitchen and disappeared through a door, Pepe behind him.

“What the fuck.” you sobbed out, knowing you had little time to leave the letter you were clutching in your hands on the coffee table in front of you and walk out and leave for good. But you couldn’t move, you were in Javier’s house and you wanted to stop being there, but your body was frozen in place and you felt like you couldn’t breathe. You wanted to scream at yourself, at your fucking impulses; you had all the opportunities to turn around and go back home, why didn’t you listen to your logical, rational, always right brain?

“Hi.” you heard behind your back and you covered your mouth with the hand that wasn’t holding the fucking letter.

You turned around and blinked the first two tears of what you already knew was going to be a sea of them.

He was wearing the red shirt. And God, it was his color.

Javier wanted to run away and hide.

He had just made peace with never seeing you again; he had just accepted that the only part he would have of you was that voice mail you had left him months before. But there you were, teary and gorgeous in front of him. Shaking and with your hands holding a piece of paper as if it were your lifeline.

His head was a contradiction, because he wanted to grab you and hug you all the same he wanted to grab you and shove you out of his house and his life.

“What are you doing here?” Javier asked, knowing deep inside him he wanted to tell you how good you looked and how much he liked your new hair. You let out a shaky breath at his deep voice. You had missed it.

It was the first time you saw him in five months, and the weight of your feelings for him fell again on your shoulders like a recently broken off boulder, heavy, rough edged and shapeless.

“I don’t know.” you answered truthfully, he sighed and deviated his eyes from you, you breathed in heavily and the only thing that got into your lungs was his essence. You cursed under your breath and he huffed, putting his hands on his hips and leaning to the side.

“How d'you found me?” he questioned, and you huffed through the tears.

“I have my resources.” you let out on a whisper. Trying to find his eyes, you needed to see his eyes.

“What do you want?” Javier asked again, and you deflated at the tone of his voice. The rational part of your brain yelled I told you so at your feelings and you knew it was right, you were expecting too much of yourself and of him.

“See you,” you bit your lower lip and Javier saw from the corner of his eyes how you scrunched up your nose, and he felt something inside his chest flutter, hating and loving all the same how much of you he still had stored inside his memory, “I have something for you.”

“Keep it.” he let out. You shook your head and raised your hand with the letter on it.

“Read it.” you half ordered, half pleaded, Javier chuckled and then shook his head, mimicking you.

“I don’t want it.” he knew he was lying to himself, he wanted to know what it was, he wanted to grip it and smell the paper and read it over and over but his body wasn’t responding to what his feelings were telling him and only responded, almost in automatic, to his prideful side, to that side of him that still resented you and himself.

“Alright then,” you said, standing straight after realizing you had regained the ability to read him even through your tears, and understanding there was something he was struggling with, “I’ll read it.”

“Stop.” Javier frowned and looked at you, his eyes pleading for you to do something you couldn’t decipher.

“I know, okay?” you said, trying to reassure him and yourself “I know I’m in no position to ask for shit,” Javier dropped his hands to the sides “but I just want ten minutes, just ten of your life, and you’ll never have to see me again if that’s what you want.”

You knew it was a risky thing to say, but you needed him to know, you needed him to understand you because you knew and he knew you did understand him. And he needed to know you. You and your version.

He said nothing, you took it as his queue to start so you breathed in deeply and unfolded the letter.

“Stop.” Javier said under his breath.

“No,” you wiped a tear off your cheek “I wrote this when I went back to Colombia after I got fired,” Javier looked at you and you saw his face quirk in something close to pain “uhm, before I wrote this I drove around Bogotá,” you recalled that last day in the city and how much it pained you to be there, “I went–‌I went to some of the places you told me you liked” you tried to smile and dropped your eyes to your shoes, trying to find something to cling to and compose yourself “even that little cafe you told me about, near the palace of justice, remember?” you sobbed out. And he called your name. Making you gasp.

“Stop,” you looked up at him and saw him frowning, his eyes glistening with unshed tears, “we don’t need this.”

“I do!” you let out, Javier brushed his lips with his thumb and felt his hand twitch in need of nicotine again “I need to tell you all this!” you wiped your tears away again “I need closure!” you cried out.

Javier felt his stomach turn around and all the blood of his body went to his feet. Fuck.

How could he had been so stupid? he got into his own feelings too much and he forgot that you had cried your eyes out to him all those months ago when you handed him everything you were in a couple of manila folders. He had gotten wrapped by his own feelings and the hurricane your declaration had created in his life that he had forgotten just how much you were suffering as well. Because he might have thought about you; all the time, every day; he thought about your past and your reasons and motivations. He even thought of you naked on his bed in Colombia, under his body, moaning and gasping when he needed some release, but he forgot to think about your feelings.

“I didn’t come here to ask for forgiveness because I know I don’t deserve it,” you said and Javier felt the wetness of a tear escaping his eye and making its way through his cheek, “I’m trying to get closure, Javier, please let me try.”

Javier nodded.

You cried more when you saw him brush a tear off with his thumb and chew the inside of his mouth. You wanted to run away; you were sure he was better before you came to his house and disrupted his peace; you were hurting him again, and you wanted to kneel in front of him and ask him for what you said you weren’t seeking. He made you want so much.

You sniffed and dropped your eyes to the open letter in your hand, Javier didn’t move from where he was standing.

“No amount of guilt will or can change the past,” you began, Javier crossed his arms on his chest and saw movement to his side, “that much I know. I kno–‌know that it doesn’t matter,” you sniffed again and Javier turned his head to watch the dog casually walking towards him and sitting next to his boots. You saw it too, and you let out a sad chuckle.

“Ignore him.” he just said. You nodded.

“Uhm, it doesn’t matter how much I apologize, or how many I’m sorry’s I mouth, forgiveness doesn’t come for free.” you didn’t want to lift your eyes to see him, so you continued.

Javier only saw you reading him something he was sure you had poured your heart into, and he wanted nothing but to hear what you wanted to say to him, but he couldn’t focus into listening, because there you were, again in front of him doing what he never dared to do.

Opening your fucking chest, taking your heart out and giving it raw to him.

“...knowing and realizing and acknowledging just how much I love you.”

Javier drowned a gasp, as he fell in love with you all over again, you were doing what he didn’t have the balls to do, because in his sleepless sleep he wanted to look for you, in the middle of his idle nights, just after waking up after a nightmare, he wanted to find you and go to you and tell you whatever the fuck he could to be back with you. But he never did, he never did because he was a coward, because he feared his own feelings so fucking much.

He couldn't hear anything of it after your declaration of love. God, how much he loved you. You were standing there, with your eternally hopeful eyes filled with crystalline tears and several pages of written feelings. And he realized, there, with you in the middle of his living room, shifting to the next page, that even though you were extremely similar, you were also very different.

“...with you I found a reason to give up after all the shit I've lived in…” you muttered and he found the differences inside him; you were braver than him, you were smarter and more connected with what you felt; you weren’t scared of your feelings as he was. You went for what you wanted and even though it had been five months of that dreadful day when he saw his heart squeezed out of his body by your hesitant hand, that day he still replayed inside his head when the day was just over and his brain was floating between sleep and awakeness, he still wondered why you were bothering.

“There were so many things I thought…” you kept reading as he wondered if it was possible for the two of you to connect with each other outside of shared trauma and sympathy for each other’s experiences. But he answered to himself that even if you two weren’t as emotionally available as you needed to be to build a relationship or if you both were having a hard time adapting to be and live out of the system, maybe the love was real.

You stopped reading after noticing he was just standing there with his arms crossed and his eyes on you but not seeing you; you wiped the last of your tears and chuckled bitterly to yourself. Making him blink a few times.

“Fuck this,” you crumpled the pages in your hands and dropped them on the coffee table, shaking your head. Javier frowned, “it doesn’t matter what I read, I shouldn’t have come.” you said, drowning your sobs and gasping for air. He wasn’t paying attention, and nothing about it was making you feel any better about anything.

“What?” Javier whispered, dropping his hands to his sides.

“A’right, then…” you didn’t look at him and tried to control your breathing again “I guess that’s what I wanted to do,” you walked to the door and opened it, Javier wanted to ask what the fuck was happening, he wanted to grab your arm and stop you as he didn’t do it when you were leaving his office back in Colombia “I’m sorry to have bothered you, Javier,” he winced slightly involuntarily at the way you sobbed out his name “I’ll go.”

You walked out of the house covering your mouth with your hand to muffle your sobs, your rational brain was right, it was a mistake; it was a complete and utter mistake, and you were so ashamed of yourself for even thinking it would change anything. You walked to your car feeling the sharp, stinging sensation of a migraine settling in your head. You heard steps behind you and you turned around slowly, not wanting to put hope on the source being Javier.

“Mija,” you look at Chucho trying to catch up with you, “¿a dónde vas?” (where are you going?)

“I’m going home.” you said, shrugging at the man when he stopped in front of you.

“Why?” he asked, frowning.

“Because he said nothing, Chucho,” you bit your lip and looked at the Texan night sky and huffed at yourself, “he said nothing.”

“But he wants you, mija!” he assured you, and you shook your head several times.

“If he wants me as you say,” you pointed towards the house behind him, “then how come I’m not with him?” you reasoned, “he doesn’t want me.”

You dropped your eyes to the gravel path as Chucho sighed and raised his hand to squeeze your shoulder just enough for you to feel less sad. Just how a father would do.

Chucho glared at the house, the door open and Pepe standing in the threshold; his son had been back for months, he had been living next to him, eating next to him, working next to him and breathing next to him just as he did before he went away but he knew, just like a father could, he was not the same man that left.

He reminisced over the muchacho his son was before he left Laredo, so eager to get out of the small town he grew up in and that harbored his family home, so anxious to meet new horizons, so keen to find and explore new places and learn new things; he sometimes found himself missing that boy, he sometimes missed his Javi; the one that helped him build a paddock for his own horse, the one that washed his truck without asking and without failing each friday evening, the one that took care of his Mamá’s funeral at sixteen when himself was too sad to think about coffins or tombstones; because the man that came back to him after almost two decades too far away from home wasn’t the same.

He had seen and done things that Chucho never wanted to to ask about but he imagined, his Javier wasn’t the same. And Chucho knew why, but he also knew about you. Javi had talked about you way too much for his own good, as he did everything. And Chucho also knew why, he wasn’t letting the woman that made his son come back home run away.

“He does want you,” he said, slowly, with a low voice, as if it were a secret, “mijo… es un idiota a veces, but he loves you.” (he’s an idiot sometimes)

“You don’t know that.” you refuted.

“I do,” he gave you a smile that was barely visible under the white mustache “el te ama, y yo…” (he loves you, and I…) “I’m so grateful.” you shook your head as two thick tears left your eyes.

“I broke his heart.” you sobbed out.

“Y me lo trajiste a casa, Florecita” (and you brought him home to me, little flower) you sobbed harder, not able to control it anymore, and he brought you to him, and held you.

“He told you my fake name?” you asked between sobs.

“He told me what you look like.” he muttered.

“I’m so sorry.” you let yourself be wrapped by him and you hid your face on his shoulder.

“Don’t be, without you I would’ve lost my only child.” you held him tighter.

“Please.” you pleaded for nothing and everything at the same time.

“You gotta fight for him, mija.” he muttered to your ear, and you shook your head, still leaning into him.

“I’m fighting for him!” you almost yelled “I’m here, aren’t I?” you lifted your head to look at the man and you gasped for air, dropping your hands to your sides “I drove almost thirteen hours non-stop all the way from Albuquerque just to be here!” you told him and the man stiffened as you lost your shit in front of him, you gripped your head between your hands “thirteen hours to read him that stupid letter and he didn’t say shit!”

“You did what?” you heard and lifted your head to see Javier standing behind his dad.

Chucho looked at Javier and then at you with your cheeks dampened with tears. He squeezed your shoulder again and turned to walk to the house.

“You were in Albuquerque all this time?” he said, and you nodded, noticing he was holding the letter in his hand “when you said you’d go you meant back there?” he frowned in confusion.

“Well, yeah, I have nowhere to stay so I might as well drive home.” you muttered, Javier’s frown deepened, and he stepped towards you.

“Stay here,” he said, “if you wanna leave you leave in the morning.” his voice was thin and low. You looked at his eyes and saw them reddened and wet.

“Did you read it?” you whispered out. He stepped towards you again, nodding.

“Stay.” he whispered back.

“You don’t want me.” you said under your breath as shook your head and he stepped closer.

“Who says that?” he asked, and you looked at the gravel path again.

“I won’t stay.” you felt Javier’s warm fingers graze under your chin and lift your head to him slowly.

“Don’t be so stubborn,” he chastised you with half a smirk forming on his lips “stay with us.” you shook your head again.

“You don’t want me here but you want me to stay,” you said, frowning at him “Javier you can’t have it bo–‌”

“I want you to stay,” he interrupted you “I want you to stay with me,” he whispered as his fingers moved to your cheek and wiped away a tear. “please.”

Javier had read your letter after you walked out and realized, at the prospect of you leaving for what it seemed like forever, at the possibility of you leaving him for good and he never getting to see you or your gorgeous face or your hypnotizing eyes or hearing your voice that did so many things on him, that the balance of his other losses leaned upwards when he weighed the probability of losing you.

Did he care about what you did? of course he did, it still stung sometimes deep inside his chest, it still filled him with something close to grief.

Was he willing to work it out and let it aside because he didn’t want to feel the agony and deep sorrow of not having you by his side he had been feeling for the last five months again? yes.

And the answer to that question inside his head startled him and shook him deeply.

You were there. God, you were there, there was no way he was going to let you leave.

Javier decided you could work it out later, he loved you way too much not to try. He didn’t even plan to love you the way he did, the way he discovered by reading that letter or remembering the man he was without you. He didn’t even plan to love you at all, but he did. He was madly, insanely, deeply in love with you.

Javier moved his hand to your shoulder and let the one holding the letter find its way to your waist. Find its way home.

“Don’t go.” he whispered again. He moved the last step to wrap his hands around you. You let out a low yelp at the feeling of his body so close to you, for a second you froze in place, your eyes closed and his warmth invaded your entire body as he hid his head in the crook of your neck. He inhaled your essence as you hugged him back and gripped him tightly against you.

Javier felt as if all his parts were being glued back together.

“Stay with me.” he whispered against the skin of your neck.

So you stayed.

←previous // next→

*THE LETTER*

Pepe:

pedrito's perma list: @queenofthefaceless @northernpunk @pascalesque @sleep-tight1 @cheekygeek05 @bii-aan-ckaa @letaliabane @starlightmornings @mouthymandalorianalso @supernaturalgirl @metalarmsandmanbuns @purplepascal042 @asta-lily @greeneyedblondie44 @missswriter @juletheghoul @pedro-pastel @agirllovespancakes

Javi's babies: @pulplorrd

RushBit tag list: @shestillwrites1 @alliterative-albatross @absurdthirst @thoughtfulpandawasteland @wifeofdindjarin @lank-sextburg @the-ginger-hedge-witch @helloannbananalove @diogodxlot @pascalslittlebrat @sarahjkl82-blog @pedritobalmando @a-court-of-feysand-and-elorcan @mamacitapascal @dobbyjen @callsigncatfish @feminist-violinist @jasmincita @pascalove @eury-dice3 @gingaahhhh @athalien

#javier peña #Javier Pena #javier peña x reader #javier peña fanfiction #javier peña fanfic #narcos #narcos fanfic #narcos fan fic #narcos netflix #Pedro Pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #Jose Pedro Balmaceda Pascal #pedro pascal characters #rushingly bittersweet tag

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joheun-saram · 3 years

Text

January Rain (jjk)

word count- 1.5k

pairing- ceo!Jungkook x secretary!Reader

rating- PG

genre- angst, fluff

warnings- none! :)

an- for the cute 🍒anon! I hope you like it!

You looked at the email your boss’s mother had sent you and felt a shiver run down your spine. You knew what you had with Jungkook was too good to last. It was a cliche really, the secretary sleeping with the CEO, but every time he looked at you, it was like you forgot your own name. The way his big doe eyes traced your features right before he devoured you, or the way he called you in his office for some paperwork, when really he just wanted to kiss you silly.

I'm not sure if Jungkook mentioned this to you yet, but can you please check when he is available for his date with Jisoo. Any time from Wed to Fri would work.

As you reread the email asking you to set a time for a date with his fiancee, you knew starting something with the handsome man across from you was a mistake. You would never be able to call him yours, never be able to hold his hand in public, and the thought made your eyes sting. Looking through his calendar, you did your job, quietly resolving to no longer fall for his charms. There was a reason he made the number of deals that he did, he was great at getting his way, but that would no longer be the case with you.

It was when you added the event in his calendar that he called your name. He was settled behind a large desk, the dark oak a contrast to the light cedar of the cabin. He had rented the chalet for the weekend, wanting a getaway to work on the new expansion proposal for the board. It was an added bonus that the large cottage came with a room with a king-sized bed and a hot tub on the back patio. Initially, you were looking forward to spending the weekend tangled up in the sheets with your boss, but the sound of your name on his lips just irritated you now.

He called you twice before you graced him with a glance in his direction.

"Why did you send me this?" He asked, eyes narrowed in your direction and jaw set. He seemed annoyed. Good.

"Your mother emailed me. I'm just doing my job," you replied with a huff, rolling your eyes at his demeanor as he sighed.

"Come here, baby." Jungkook spoke softly as he rolled his chair away from his desk, tapping his lap in an invitation. An invitation you would've jumped at a mere twenty minutes ago, but now it just caused frustration and hurt to bloom in your chest.

"I'm sorry. I think that would be unprofessional, sir." You remained straight-faced, averting your eyes towards your laptop as you continued to work through his emails and schedule for the week. He scoffed, turning to his true-tried method of humour to lighten the mood.

“Come on. I dare you.” He smirked, moving around his desk to lean against it, arms open, expecting you to grumble but make your way to him as usual. But you avoided looking at him, your full attention on your work, as you tried to pretend he wasn’t even in the room. In the attempt to shield your feelings, you missed the look of hurt that clouded his features as he lost his earlier confidence and fidgeted with the many documents strewn across his desk.

"Baby, look at me. Please?" Jungkook pleaded, the pout on his face evident through his voice. You couldn't look at him even if you tried, you knew the effect he had on you. It was the same adorable pout that had made you give him your heart the first time he aimed it at you. It was your kryptonite. The way he would be extremely polite and professional to all your colleagues but turn into a puppy whenever the two of you were alone. It was something that made you want him more, deluded you into thinking that he was only this open in front of you. But clearly, his change in character wasn't as special as you thought.

Ignoring his request, you swiftly stood from your seat on the couch, walking firmly to the main door into the cold rain outside. The freezing raindrops pelted your skin, making goosebumps rise in their wake as your teeth chattered. Although you had forgotten your coat in your haste to remove yourself from the situation, you didn't regret it one bit. You welcomed the chill, letting it cool you to the bone as you walked away from the fancy chalet. You didn't care that you would inevitably have to go inside in a few minutes and that you would also probably get a headache from the way the almost frozen droplets pelted your head.

Before you could walk too long though, you felt a pair of strong arms encircle you, the warmth of a firm chest molding to your back like a comfortable blanket.

"You're going to get sick," Jungkook murmured in your ear, his grip tight around your waist, as you tried not to give into him yet again.

"Stop worrying about me. You have Jisoo." You tried to push him off you, but his strength outmatched you by miles as he clung to your back, the two of you drenched and shivering.

"I don't want Jisoo. I want you." He whispered, his voice barely audible over the sound of the rain. His words sent the butterflies in your belly a flutter, but your brain refused to let them win. You shoved him off you, turning around to stare at him.

His hair was in his eyes, the black curls obstructing his eyes, as he shook his head to see you clearer. He was drenched, his white shirt almost invisible, highlighting the contours of his body. He moved closer, rubbing his hands on your arms in an attempt to warm you up, but despite the way he looked at you softly, you shrugged him off once again.

"So what? You're gonna break off your engagement and run away with me?" you questioned, arms folded as your gaze hardened.

"Absolutely." There was no hint of hesitation in his eyes, and his determination broke down your defenses. Before you knew it you were staring at the ground, willing the tears to go away. You were never more thankful to have the rain soaking you through.

"Don't do this to me. I can't take this anymore," you spoke quietly, unsure if he could even hear you.

"Do what? I told you I don't want her. I want you." Jungkook held your arms, bending a little to make the eye contact you were so adamant in avoiding.

"But your mom -" Jungkook scoffed, cutting you off. His hands cupped your face as he tried to pour as much of his feelings through his gaze as he could, his warm chocolate eyes entrancing you like they always did.

"Do you think I care? I did my part, took over the company like a good little boy. I'm not going to let her control me anymore." His gaze hardened as he spoke and it reminded you of your resolve. Even though he was determined right now, you knew Jungkook. Knew that he would always pick his mom over anyone else, knew that he would never want to disappoint her. And above all, you knew that she would never accept you.

"Jungkook, I think it's best if we end this." And although your words spoke differently, you moved closer to him, your hands over his arms as you held on like he would let go.

"No. How can it be best if I can't be with the woman I love?" His forehead met yours as he confessed and your heart felt like it could explode. In the year you had been part of this fling, he had never told you he loved you. Jungkook wasn’t one for words, he would instead buy you extravagant gifts and take you travelling. You had always hoped he felt what you did but you never thought you’d hear those words escape his lips.

"Love?" you asked in a daze, your resolve falling like crumbs to the wayside. Jungkook smiled at your confusion as if it was the most endearing thing in the world. His nose scrunched a little as it grazed yours and he giggled.

"I love you."

You couldn’t stop yourself from crashing your lips to his. How could you, when the man you had been in love with for years finally spoke like he had in your dreams. His kiss warmed you up, making you forget about the rain still pelting from above and the chill in your bones. His arms encircled your waist once again, pulling you close, chest to chest, as yours found home around his neck. Kissing him was so easy, it was like your body was finally at peace in his arms.

"Tell me you love me too. Please?" He pleaded when you finally broke for air and the uncertainty in his voice made you want to do anything in your power to assure him.

"I love you. I love you. I love you." You kissed him with every confession, your heart finally being allowed to pour through your actions.

You didn’t remember how long the two of you stood kissing in the cold January rain, but it was worth the stuffy noses and headaches that plagued you both for a week afterward.

Like this? Check out my other works.

#thebtswritersclub #bangtanhq #btsnoonanet #thetruthuntoldnet #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #jungkook x yn #jungkook angst #jk fluff #jk angst #jk x reader #bts imagines #bts drabbles

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verobatto · 3 years

Text

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. LXXXIX

It was a love story from the very beginning

"You, me... And Sam."

Hello my friends!!! How are you? I feel much better now thanks to all your asks and your memes and your cracks, I adore them all!

Okay, putting that to a side, and still dreaming about how Jensen will give us the ending we all deserve, let's continue with this analysis, because is time to talk about the mixtape.

From butterflies in the stomach and Foreshadows of the new God

When the episode starts, there's a hint of what Jack's mission is. But coming out from Dagon's mouth, it became like a real bad future.

Dagon: Yeah. And he's not gonna stop there. Every sad, weak human, every tight-ass angel, every sniveling demon they'll all be consumed. So go ahead. Play your games. But whether you're healthy or sick, filthy or clean, He will be born. Good times.

Is almost the contrary to what Jack will actually do for the world. He will consume but it will be Chuck's powers until the last drop of it. And against Dagon's speech, he will save each demon and angel and restore everything.

Now, let's talk about CAS coming back to the bunker...

Gif credit @godshipsit

I think his face is saying everything here. The one entering in the bunker after go MIA, was Cas', so, Dean's face is scandalous.

Imagine that suddenly your disappeared crush enters through the door without previous announcement. Of cour we can read the bumping heart allnover Dean's cheek, his eyes went wide, in surprise. 'Is CAS!'

He was so worried this whole time, thinking the worst could happen to him, and now CAS is there, alive.

But his reaction to it will be completely different to Sam's reaction. This was settled to make us see the difference between how a friend would react and how a lover would react. Blatant.

Sam: Hey. You're all right. Um – Where have you been?

Sam is asking as a friend, but Dean, Dean doesn't...

Dean: Let me rephrase that for Sam. Where the hell have you been? And why have you ignored our phone calls?

Okay, let's just stop here, this is the way a wife will ask her husband. But because we are talking about Dean, we can see his shield. His shield is US/WE, his shield is SAM, because he wants to drag his brother into the feeling of being desperately worried. Because recognize that DEAN WAS THE ONLY ONE ALMOAT LOOSING HIS HEAD TRYING TO KNOW IF CAS WAS ALIVE OR WHWRE HE WAS IA SHOWING WEAKNESS, IS SHOWING HIS TRUE FEELINGS FOR THE ANGEL. So, the theme of the I/ME vs the WE/US is perfectly written all over this episode.

Castiel: Where I was, the – the reception was, uh, poor.

Dean: No bars? No bars. That's his excuse. Wow.

Castiel: I was in Heaven. I was working with the angels. When I saw Dagon had captured Kelly, I-I thought they could help.

Okay Castiel is proving he is lying by himself here, because he said first he had not signal, and now, he heard one of the so many voice mails Dean had left in his phone.

Sam: And?

Castiel: Nothing.

Sam: Well, at least you're back. We're glad you're back

And be prepared again for the difference between the friend and the JILTED lover.

Dean: Really? No, I'm sorry. Okay, 'cause while you were striking out in Heaven, we had a shot at Dagon, and we lost.

Maybe Dean was waiting Sam to second him in his anger. But it was only in Dean's heart, the deception, and the recalling of so many days be worried about CAS. Because that's what romantic love makes you be.

Castiel: I know. I received your messages.

This was like a bomb for Dean...

Dean: Oh, you did – you did receive the messages? Okay, that's good.

Sarcasm...

Castiel: Dean.

Gif credit @starlightcastiel

Dean can't handle the pain in his heart of being rejected and ignored by Castiel, so he searches for his shield again: We/Us/Sam and me.

Dean: So not only were you ditching us, but you were also ignoring us? That's great. 'Cause we really could've used the backup. But, uh, you were too busy with, um (Clicks tongue) What was it? Nothing?

Castiel: Dean, I –

Dean: What the hell is wrong with you, man? You know, whatever. That's (Chuckles) Yeah. Welcome back. (walks away)

Dean is so mad with CAS. And is blatant that his reaction is totally different to Sam's.

The Mixtape as a way to reciprocate Castiel's confession, and the desperate attempt to make CAS to stay by his side.

Okay, we are now in the scene. I'm sure this scene had been dissected by many meta writers. I won't say new things, but i will point a little to their body languages.

Okay, the scene starts with Castiel knocking at Dean's door to give him back the mixtape, so jus aknowledged there that Dean gave CAS a freaking mixtape, which doesn't have another meaning that ROMANTIC. But we can assume Castiel doesn't get this human's customaries, also, we can assume he does, because boop culture that Metatron out at once in his head... So...

After Dean, without looking at him, because he is mad and now he has to handle this angel lack of knowledge about WHAT GIFTING A MIXTAPE MEANS, he said "It's a gift, you keep those."

And Castiel gets nervous.

Gif credit @stardustcas

The swallow and the way he opens his mouth again to breathe and maybe to say something else, but he stopped himself. Castiel is nervous. I thought at first because he has to find the Colt, and he knew Dean kept it in his room. But we know now that it wasn't just that. He was flustered because the intimacy of the situation with the man he loves.

Castiel looks around before attempting to leave, maybe searching for the Colt, but then Dean starts talking:

Dean: Cas, you can't – With everything that's going on, you can't just go dark like that. We didn't know what happened to you. We were worried. That's not okay.

And in the middle of the intimate scene, awkward moment, Dean needs his shield more than never.

Castiel: Well, I didn't mean to add to your distress. I – Dean, I just keep failing. Again and again. When you were taken, I searched for months and I couldn't find you. And then Kelly escaped on my watch, and I couldn't find her. And I just wanted I needed to come back here with a win for you. For myself.

This speech is so important, because it shows how depressed Castiel felt, how uneasy. How unworthy. He needed to be useful. So he decided to start alone this dangerous journey that will end in his death. He also mentions the win. Because he didn't know he will be always Dean's win, as we will see in episode 13x06 when CAS comes back to Dean alive.

After they talk about Dragon, and Cas' asks if Sam and Dean are willing to kill an innocent, because that's dirty work, that's the mission CAS had taken in his own shoulders, Dean says this...

Dean: We will find a better way.

Castiel: You mean, we?

Gif set credit @deanwinchestrs

Cas points at Dean with the mixtape, because he wants to clarify if Dean is referring to them, to JUST CAS AND DEAN. YOU AND ME. THE TWO OF US. And Dean is now the flustered one. Look at Dean's face, being in just one spot, recognizing that the shield can be broken, that he is talking about CAS and him. Is too intimate. Too different. So his face is burning. And even so, the words are out. 'Yes, dumbass, we.'

What was this? This was an attempt coming from Castiel to get to know Dean's feelings. Pointing with the mixtape to just Dean and him. Not Sam here. Not shield. And Dean goes for it. Goes for that WE: YOU AND ME.

But then, Dean backtraks

Gif set credit @stardustcas

He starts explaining the WE, avoiding Castiel's gaze, he goes... 'You, me...' and then he tilts his head, and adds the shield back again: 'and Sam.'

The second gif is showing Dean backtracking, Because is too intimate, is too risky, he is standing on the edge between friendship and something else. He can't cross that line. Mostly because he is not sure about Castiel's feelings for him, and more now, after seeing how CAS ignored him for so long. Dean is like:

"What am I doing? Let's mention Sam here, and turn this into no homo conversation."

But the nervousness is all over the scene, i got nervous watching it because the awkward moment!

Gif set credit @stardustcas

More nervousness. Dean's flustered eyes. The swallowing. The attempt of staring into those blue eyes of the man he loves. (The butterflies in the stomach, the heart beating fast, the dry mouth) trying to make the conversation more normal, but their faces are loud.

Vas says he likes that and then Dean is more frustrated than never and his dry mouth is asking for a beer, or maybe he find a way out from the awkward moment, the gay moment. He needs to breathe. He almost let his guard down with this angel. And the desperate way to say STAY WITH ME. DON'T GO AWAY AGAIN. To his angel.

Castiel engages with a seductive look in the middle of the sexual tension

Sam: I mean, how did Cass even get the Colt out of the safe in the first place?

Dean drops his head. Sam raises an eyebrow

Sam Dean, you – you put the Colt back in the safe, right? Dean?

Dean: It was under my pillow. It – I like to keep it close. (Sighs) He came into my room and he played me.

Okay i can even explain the intimacy of this. Even if CAS didn't know about this and he just went searching all over Dean's room. Mention this after the huge scene full of romantic tension, has a meaning. Again: INTIMACY. And adding the "He played me" to all of this is another symbol way to show theme audience this was like that scene between the guy and his crush, in wich his crush takes advantage of it and plays him by stealing something from him. Yes.

Finally, when they find CAS... This scene...

Gif credit @stardustcas

Dean is mad, very mad at him. Because Castiel really played him. But... Look at the scene. Look at Castiel's gaze: PURE SEDUCTION. He maybe is aware of the effect he causes on Dean. And after the mixtape scene, he goes for it. Seduction as if they were in their first seasons together. And Dean is muted, and stares at him, then checks him out, and they're in their own sexual tension world, until Sam calls him. But he has to calls him twice because his brother is too embedded into Castiel's hot behavior.

But don't forget Dean is mad at him. So now, is Dean the one playing around with CAS. Throwing the keys at him and making him almost loose his stability to reach them.

Closing the circle

When Dean and Sam reach Castiel again in the middle of a battle with Dragon, Dean's desperation when Dagon is about to smite Castiel is high level.

But then Jack saves the day, not just showing CAS the future (the ending of season 15) but also, Jack gave him powers to finish Dagon.

Then, the scene in wich Castiel heals Dean is full of intimacy again. The lingerie touch, rubbing fingers. Because Dean is moving his hand slowly away from CAS touch but he ended by letting his hand to feel Castiel's rubbing his fingers. To let Castiel to heal him.

And then, CAS is gone again.

To Conclude:

12x19: The Future has Destiel all over it. Dean mad at him, reaching the level of a JILTED lover. Dean way to protect himself from another rejection using the WE/US/SAM shield. Just because he can't handle it. The doubts about Cas' feelings, and the way the angel always find to go MIA, makes his heart stutter.

The mixtape scene is one of the most emblematic. The nervousness is all over their faces, and Misha and Jensen transmite perfectly the romantic tension between the two characters and goes straight to our hearts, making us feel awkward and flustered too.

Hope you like this meta. See you in the next one!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @agusvedder @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @2musiclover2 @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you wanna read the previous metas from season 12, here you have the links:

Vol. LXXV, LXXVI, LXXVII, LXXVIII, LXXIX, LXXIX, LXXX, LXXXI, LXXXII, LXXXIII, LXXXIV, LXXXV, LXXXVI, LXXXVII, LXXXVIII.

Buenos Aires, November 24th 2020, 9:36 PM

#destiel #destiel chronicles #destiel meta #supernatural meta #season 12 meta #destiel mixtape #destiel is canon

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addictofsupernatural · 4 years

Text

OHSHC Rewrite: Episode 1

Starting Today, You Are a Host!

Host Club x reader

Summary: Y/n meets new people and fall into a whole new world.

Warning: mentions of past trauma

Word Count: 4.4k

Episode Masterlist

Nerve wracking. This was very nerve wracking. It was one thing to go to a school full of rich people, but it was another for it to be in a different country. Though you felt nervous, this was a giant step into a new life.

You had highlights dyed in your hair for a while now, but didn't know if the school allowed it, so you hid it up in a beanie with only your bangs peaking out. You also didn't know if they allowed crop tops, which was what you had on right now due to your unattended laundry, so you put a big sweater on to hide that as well.

Everyone stared at you. You expected nothing less, considering you weren't wearing a school uniform. You kept your head low and your mouth shut, though it was starting to bother you to have all those eyes on you for no reason. It's rude to stare.

After school you wanted to find a quiet place to study. All three of the huge libraries were noisy, for some reason, so you ventured into trying to find an empty room. There was a music room that looked uninhabited, so you opened the door.

"Welcome to the Ouran Host Club."

A gush of wind came and you stepped inside to see 6 guys standing there, greeting you.

"Oh." One of the twins said. "It's just a guy."

"Host Club?" You quietly asked. "Um, I'm sorry! I didn't know this place was occupied. Sorry."

You turned and reached for the handle, only for both twins to lean on each of your shoulders.

"You said sorry twice." The said in unison.

"I'll just leave now—"

"You must be the foreign honor student, Mr. Y/l/n."

You looked back at the boy with the glasses giving you a small smile. "I'll ignore the Mr part for now, but how did you know my name?"

The tall blonde one gasped. "You're the exceptional honor student from y/c?!"

"It's quiet interesting seeing a commoner with the audaciousness to come here." The guy with glasses said.

"Commoner?" You repeated, taking in the name.

"You should feel lucky." He continued. It did do injustice for your nerves to hear that, but you tried to not let the innocently rude words effect you.

"So lucky." You sighed.

The blonde man rushed over to you and slung his arm over your shoulder. "I think it's wonderful for a commoner such as yourself to come and study us. It'll set an example for other commoners and you'll be a hero to all of them. Long live the poor!"

"Am I supposed to not find all of this offensive?" You asked as you ducked out of his arm.

That's when a small boy jumped onto you, causing you to instinctively catch him. While in your arms he could feel your hidden breasts against his head, which made him the second person in the room to catch on.

"Wow, y/l/n huh? That's a really weird last name. I like it though, it's interesting. I hope we can be friends from now! "You were honestly confused at to why there was a little boy here, so you gently ruffled his hair and put him down.

"That'd be nice." You sweetly said. "What are you doing here?"

"Huh. Who knew the honor student would be so openly gay?" The blonde man shrugged.

"What?" You asked, though you were ignored again.

"So then, which would you prefer?" He pulled your arm to each of the boys. "Is it the strong, silent type? The loli-shota type? The mischievous devils? The cool type?" He got extremely close and grabbed your chin, whispering, "Or maybe you'd like me."

You jerked yourself back, walking backwards as the twins and the blonde were walking towards you. "Please don't get so close when I don't even know you! I'll leave you all be now—"

You bumped into a table, and a vase fell and shattered as a result. "Now you've done it commoner." Said the twin with the higher voice. "That was a Renaissance vase."

"We were gonna sell that at the auction. The bidding was going to start at 8 million yen." Explained the other.

"8 mi..." Your voice was barely a whisper as you looked at the shattered glass. You then began to internally panic, causing words to just spew out. "Oh my gosh okay okay I am so so sorry I should've expected something like this cause of my luck and it's just like me to be a screw up and–" you let out a deep breath before scrunching up your nose and turning to them. "I need to pay you back."

"With what money?" The twins said.

"Holy crap this is bad." You began shaking your leg. "Okay, what do I do then?"

"Well Tamaki, what do you think we should do?" The glasses guy asked, still giving you a small smile.

"There's an old saying that we should all live by! When in Rome, do as the Romans do."

"I'm in rich territory, does that mean I need to do as the rich people do?" You asked, being unconsciously sarcastic.

He chose to ignore you and go on. "Since you don't have any money, you will have to pay us back with your body!"

"Can you please rephrase that—"

"Starting today, you are the host club's dog boy!"

It all happened so fast, and next thing you knew you were coming back from the store with their grocery items. Was this going to be hell? When you got back, you thought about the club while walking in the halls. It was their job to make women happy. That probably meant you would have to put on a brave smile.

"Hey there, little piglet. Did you get everything on our list?" Tamaki senpai smiled at you.

Brave face. "Yup, everything you asked for sir." You smiled brightly.

His eyes widened, and he zoomed over to you to pull you into a crushing hug. "Aww, you're too adorable!"

"Please let go!"

"Why? I'm not done hugging you yet!"

"I don't..." You looked around for help. "Mori senpai! Help me please!"

He made eye contact with you before swooping in and picking you up. You clung to him out of panic. Why would anyone smother strangers like that?

Mori senpai let out an inaudible gasp. He was now the third person who figured it out. "Uh, Mori senpai," Tamaki said. "Don't you think that was a little much?"

"No." He said, putting you down.

"Thank you." You said sweetly. He nodded and went back.

"Wait, doggo," Tamaki called to you, picking up the grocery bag. "What's this?"

"Just what it looks like. Coffee." You said as you walked over to him. "And I have a name."

"I've never seen coffee like this before." He ignored you again as he sat down on a couch.

"Are those the ones where it already has the beans grounded up for you?" Kaoru asked.

"No, it's instant coffee." You said.

"It's... Instant?" Some girls asked.

"Wait a minute, I've seen this before!" Tamaki widened his eyes. "It's commoner's coffee! They don't have time to make it themselves so they use this and it magically appears."

Someone watching this quietly asked, "Commoners don't have time to ground their own coffee?"

"Why is everybody staring?" You asked before sighing. "Nevermind. If you want I'll go back and buy a more expensive brand. Sorry."

"No no, let's keep it." The whole crowd gasped. "I think I'll try it." Another gasp. "I'm going to drink this coffee!" Everybody began clapping. "Y/l/n~ this coffee won't make itself~"

"I guess that's my cue." You said to yourself.

"Wait, commoner," Hikaru said.

"What's up with that ugly outfit?" Kaoru asked. "Can you not afford a school uniform?"

You giggled. "Do I look someone who can afford a school uniform?" They giggled again. "I'm used to public schools, so I wore a random shirt. I don't know if it fits this school's standards though." The twins heard your giggle, and we're now also figured it out. "I've actually been meaning to ask, is there a rule against dyed hair?"

"Dyed hair? No." Kaoru said.

"Oh good," you sighed. "Cause I have some highlights."

"Then what about your shirt?" Hikaru asked.

"It's a crop."

"A crop?" The twins asked in unison.

"Come to think of it," Kyoya spoke up. "Nobody ever asked you what your first name is."

You took off your beanie and let your hair down. You then took off your sweater and put it on top of your bag in the corner.

"It's y/n. Y/n y/l/n." You then walked over as everybody remained silent. "Thank you Kyoya senpai. Nobody else actually cared about my name. Means a lot." You smiled.

"Of course, now it's time to go make the coffee."

"Yes sir." You made it while everybody else remained silent. Tamaki couldn't take it anymore, and exploded.

"You're a girl?!" He barked.

"Yeah?"

"Why would you hide that?!"

"I wasn't trying to, and you shouldn't treat someone different because of that either way." You then turned to everyone else. "Coffee's done. Time for me to get back to work."

"But–but—"

"Tamaki, we still have guests to entertain." Kyoya reminded. He shook out of it and began flirting again, and you took this as an opportunity to start with your other chores. You began to clean up some plates and tea cups as everybody fussed over the coffee.

"Oh Tamaki, you've taken the joke too far. You have a delicate taste, your pallet can't stomach that crap. It's obvious you're just doing it to please her." You looked over to a very pretty girl, sipping her tea. "Oh, I'm sorry. I was just talking to myself."

"Of course ma'am. Would you care for any more food or drinks?" You quietly asked.

"No, you can leave now." You smiled and nodded, walking away with a bad feeling about that girl.

You were then cleaning up the coffee cups, watching other girls become fascinated with it. As you cleaned up they stopped to look at you. "Oh, you're the commoner honor student right?" One asked.

"Yup. Did you ladies enjoy the coffee?"

"Very much so. It did not taste poorly, and it was surprising to see how quick it was to make."

"Well, us commoners are always in a hurry to keep up with our bills." They giggled, though you didn't realize you were being funny. "Anyways, I'm glad I got to share my poorness with you."

The giggled again. "You're so funny y/n."

"Thank you. It's sweet of you not to call me a dog." You said, grinning afterwards. "And wow I never thought I'd say that."

They giggled again. "Are you enjoying Ouran Academy?"

"Hell yeah, it's awesome! Who knew there can be so many buildings in a building!"

"You have an interesting way of speaking." One laughed out.

"Well I didn't think so until I got to a whole different country. I totally forgot about the whole bowing to people thing when I left y/c. We don't do that there."

"Oh my goodness, really?!"

"Yeah, you have no idea—"

"Y/n, Honey senpai spilled." Hikaru called out. "Come and clean it."

"Oh, I have to go. It was nice talking to you ladies." You then hurried over there.

They then went back to their hosts. "What were you all talking about?" Tamaki asked one girl.

"Not much, just talking." She said. "It was very fun and pleasant."

"I wish we could've talked more." Another girl said.

"She's coming by." The third girl tried to say quietly.

"Y/n, come over here." Tamaki said. As you walked over his eyes ventured down to your opening stomach. "I heard you had quiet the chat with some ladies."

"Yup, I thought it was a very nice little talk." You said, smiling at them.

He grabbed you and crushed you into a hug again. "Your smile is so cute! You need to learn how to be more girly! Now promise me you won't wear any more of those dirty poor boy clothes."

"First of all, personal space please! Second, those clothes are comfy. And crop tops aren't for dirty boys."

"That's debatable." Tamaki murmered and blushed.

"Y'know, we think it looks pretty cute." The twins said against your shoulders.

"See? Hikaru and Kaoru aren't judging me on how I look." You hugged each of them at their side. They then both blushed out of surprise, not that you noticed.

"Don't trust those shady twins! They just want to take advantage of you." He then grabbed you back, nuzzling up against your cheek. "You know what, why don't you two make yourselves useful and grab an appropriate school uniform for my little girl."

"Little girl?" You asked, pushing him back a bit.

"Of course! We're a family after all, and now you're my little girl!"

"That's weird." He then suddenly started sulking in the corner, to which you felt bad about. You went over to him and sat on the floor next to him. "I'm sorry if I made you upset. I'm actually glad that friendship is that important to you. It's not often you still see that, and I'm happy to be a part of it."

His eyes began to shine. "Do you really think so?!"

"Sure!"

"Aww, you're so cute!" He squished your cheeks.

"Uh, boss." Kaoru said.

"The female uniforms were still in the process of being made, so all they had were male uniforms." Hikaru explained.

"Oh, that's actually better for me." You said. "I'm not much for dresses." You then took the outfit and went to the changing room to put it on. You came out without the blazer, the tie being loose, and the top button being undone. "Are you sure I can keep this?"

"Well the tailoring was messed up so they were gonna throw it away." Kaoru explained.

"Oh, perfect." You smiled.

"No, not perfect!" Tamaki popped up in front of you. "WHY WON'T YOU WEAR FEMALE CLOTHING?!"

"Are you trying to say I don't look good in these clothes?" You teased.

"Wha– noo~" His eyes began to tear up. "I never said that!"

"So you were thinking it."

"I WASN'T THINKING THAT AT ALL! Please y/n, I think you're beautiful, I swearr~"

You began giggling. "Senpai, I'm just teasing. I understand that you didn't mean that at all. It's okay."

He gave you puppy dog eyes. "Really?"

"Sure." You said lightheartedly. You wanted to ruffle his hair from how much of a puppy he was acting like.

"Then why would you tease me like that?" More puppy dog eyes.

"If I'm staying the Host Club's dog until I graduate, I might as well have fun while being here." The twins were busy laughing on the ground, while everybody else watch you two. Nobody could make Tamaki like that except for Kyoya.

"She's so funny." A girl mumbled.

You patted Tamaki's shoulders. "Straighten up senpai. You still have an audience waiting."

"She's right you know." Kyoya said. He then happily sighed. "Okay everyone, back to work."

You wheeled around the tea, hearing someone whisper, "She's coming."

You stopped and smiled, furrowing your eyebrows. "What?"

"Nothing, just that you don't react normally to Tamaki. No one has ever made him flustered like that before."

"Not only that." Another girl said. "You just seem so fun. It's like you don't give a care in the world. We're not used to people being so care free, so it's very fun."

"That's very sweet to hear. It's nice that you guys all care about whatever I ramble on about." You poured them all tea. "Maybe I should be a host too. I could tell stories and we could all hang out."

"That'd be very pleasant." One said as the other two nodded.

The red headed girl from earlier laughed. "How sweet of you three to make her feel good about herself. She seems like a person who needs to be praised."

"That was a little harsh Ayanokoji." One of them said.

They all looked at you frowning, but you didn't want them to pity you. You mustered up a smile. "More tea ma'am?"

"No, that'll be all. You can leave." She smiled as she sipped on her tea.

"Of course." You then walked away.

Kyoya heard everything. You passed by him, frowning and looking downward. "You mentioned being a host. It's an interesting notion, in it's own way."

"Don't worry Kyoya senpai, I know my place."

He didn't look back at you, only staring at his notebook. "Your place, huh."

"Would you care for anything?" You asked.

"Just some answers." He continued to write in his book. "What do you consider your 'place'?"

You chuckled. "Not here. I know how lucky I am to be here, and that I shouldn't push it. Especially after breaking something."

"I see. Well, I do like your suggestion of being a host." This gained the attention of Tamaki.

You had your back to him as you cleaned up a table. "I was joking."

"Yes, but most people seem to enjoy hearing you talk. It'll help gain money for your debt."

Tamaki flipped and landed right in front of you. "Why would you do that?! Don't tell me you're not interested in men?!"

"I didn't say I wasn't. I just think that these girls might also have fun by laughing and not just being flustered. Having someone to talk to can be refreshing."

His eyes began to sparkle again. "This could work! Having more females could get you in touch with your feminine side. Starting tomorrow, you are a host!"

The next day you were sitting on a couch with the three other girls you talked to yesterday with you. "So y/n, what was your life like before you came to Japan?"

"Oh, you guys don't really wanna hear about my boring life, do you?" You leaned back on the cushion. "I thought we could talk about you ladies."

"We're actually very intrigued by you. We all want to know more about your life."

"Yeah, it seems like you lived in a whole other world."

You grinned, looking around. "Well, this does feel like another world. It feels like a dream come true."

"Were you poor?" Someone blankly asked.

A few people turned around to listen in. You chuckled. "Yes. For a commoner, I was on the more poor side."

"You mean there's a poorer side?"

You chuckled again. "Yup. Instead of commoners, we like to call ourselves middle class. Or at least in y/c we were. There were those who had not bad jobs with not bad incomes, and there were others who actually struggled maintaining enough money to get by."

People began to stop talking and began listening in. "What were your parents then?"

You kept your smile on your face, but stared out the window. "My dad was a lazy asshole who never worked a day in his life, but I guess he didn't seem that way when my mom met him. My mom was an honest and hard working accountant. She used to say that he was nicer to her, sweeter, and not a lot of people were kind to women where she lived. She told me she thought he could make her happy."

They all listened intensely. Even Kyoya stopped writing, and watched you from his side view. You looked over the the three girls. You weren't used to having people really listening to you, but it did feel surprisingly nice. Like the weight on your chest was being lifted little by little.

"What happened?"

"It wasn't until she was pregnant with me when she realized it was all a lie. And it wasn't until after I was born when he showed her that he loved alcohol. He was angry when he drank, and he always drank. Mom got sick when I was about 6, and by that time being angry turned into being violent."

"Did he ever hurt you or your mom?" You looked her in the eyes, and she gasped, knowing the answer. You didn't answer that question.

"A few months later she passed, and I ran away the same day."

"Where did you go?"

You kept your voice steady and calm. "I was living in the streets. Stole from this liquor store to eat. The woman who owned the shop caught me, but she wasn't mad. She invited me into her apartment, fed me, bought me new clothes. She's good to me."

"Did you keep living with her?"

You nodded. "She called the cops on my dad before putting me into the foster system and becoming my new mother the right way. Took a few months before she could foster me, but she didn't hesitate to fill everything out and put down her name for a daughter."

"What happened after that?"

"I worked at her liquor store, made some friends, found out I was really good at learning things in school. Then I saw that there was an opportunity to go to a prestigious school in Japan. After seeing a lot of injustice in the neighborhood I lived in, I decided that I wanted to be a lawyer. So I studied, learned Japanese, and when I got in Maria sold the liquor store and we moved here."

"Maria?"

"My second mother. The one who adopted me."

"I see. So you came here with her then?"

"Of course. We wouldn't abandon each other." You turned to them and smiled. "It's nice to know when you're wanted."

The three of them were in tears. "That's so sad." One said.

"Oh, no no no, don't be sad girls. It's fine, honestly! I'm happy that I found a new family, and I'm happy for being here. I don't like tears, so please don't cry for me. It makes me sad."

The three of them smothered you with a hug. "WE'LL KEEP SMILING FOR YOU Y/N!"

You giggled. "Thanks girls." You then looked around. "Has everybody been listening in?"

"No!" You heard from the twins. Everybody quickly turned away from you.

"Well that's very embarrassing. Thanks guys." You blushed and looked down. Tamaki pulled you away and gently grabbed your arms.

"Y/n, listen to me. I promise you that we will do our best to make you feel as comfortable as possible." You were going to answer, but you noticed something when you looked out the window. "What's wrong?"

"My stuff..." You frowned. "I'll be right back."

You ran outside to get your things. Your bag was thrown into a lake. As you ran you saw that princess, Ayanokoji. She gave you a side eye, and something told you to stop running.

"Oh, it's you." You didn't look back, and neither did she. "You can charm everybody with your words, but I hope you know that to Tamaki you'll always be a second class citizen."

You said nothing as you kept running. Once you got to the lake you took off your shoes and socks, rolling up your pants and going in to fish out your stuff. What you couldn't find was your wallet. That would be good money gone to waste.

"You've got some nerve running out on me." Tamaki said, watching you. "Hey, why are your items all wet?"

"Oh, it's nothing. I'm just looking for my wallet. You can go back, I'll be there in a bit." You didn't notice him take off his socks and shoes until he got in as well. "What're you doing?"

"Helping you look."

"But you'll get all wet." You felt bad for making him do this.

"A little water never hurt anybody." You stopped what you were doing you watch him. "Besides, people are always telling me I'm dripping with good looks. Oh, I think we got something here." He showed you your wallet, though you just kept staring at him. "Why are you staring at me?" He then smiled. "You're not falling for me~ are you?"

You scoffed and smiled, grabbing your wallet from his hands. "You wish."

"By the way, how did your things end up in the pond?"

"Don't worry about it, let's just go back to the club."

Later that day, to your dismay, Princess Ayanokoji requested you. You politely asked her what she wanted to talk about, and she asked about you digging through the pond.

"I see, that must be terrible. I don't know what I'd have done if my bag got thrown into there." She then chuckled. "And you even got Tamaki to dig through that dirty lake water. Impressive."

"I don't see what's so impressive about it." You shrugged. "I suppose he's just a nice person who'd do that for people."

"You know it's just a little obsession with you. You're new and exciting, but pretty soon Tamaki will lose interest. I mean really, you're just another pretty face."

You frowned, looking into your tea cup. "Jealousy can make a beautiful face very ugly, don't you think?"

She widened her eyes before pushing the table to the ground, causing tea to spill on your lap, and slapped you in the face. "How dare you?! Someone help me, the commoner tried to steal my bracelet! Somebody do something!" The twins said nothing as the dumped water on her. "W...why did you do that?"

Tamaki pulled her up and into his arms. "Ayanokoji, I'm disappointed in you. You were the one you put y/n's bag in the pond, weren't you?"

"You don't know that!" She angrily said. "Do you have any proof that I did?!"

He sighed. "You're a beautiful woman Ayanokoji, but you aren't classy enough to be our guest. If it's one thing I know, it's that y/n isn't that kind of woman."

As she ran away crying, Kyoya handed you a girl's school uniform. "Since you got tea on your uniform. I know you wouldn't prefer a dress, but it's what we have, and it's better than a wet outfit."

"Yeah, thanks senpai."

You went into the changing room, putting on the dress. You were thankful for it being long. You didn't want anybody to the scars. You stared at yourself in the mirror, wondering if you looked okay. You sucked up the doubts and went out.

All the club members turned to look at you. Tamaki stared at you. "Y/n... wearing a... dress?"

"Senpai!" You walked over to Tamaki, taking his hands. "I forgot to say thank you for helping me find my wallet. I thought you were really cool today."

Tamaki's face then began to redden as you smiled.

---

Author's Note: Please comment and let me know if you liked it. I really want to keep this going and make fillers of my own.

AN #2: Also just ask if you want to be tagged in future stuff.

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sunnykeysmash · 4 years

Text

S14's theme of Trust: How Global Warming reaffirms the Macden meta we already know

Or, a half reworked set of discussions from my Twitter about the underlying themes of FAITH/TRUST and CHANGE present in this season. Particularly between macden because I don't give a damn for the rest. Sidenote: my twitter thread about trust that takes up half of this post was actually written BEFORE GW came out, and despite that it got reinforced thanks to GW meta.

I apologize in advance if the reading isn't as fluid as it could be, it's hard to order the threads in a single cohesive explanation but I still tried my best. Plus, english isn't my first language.

This post contains speculation that links to my previous meta posts, tagged under "iasip meta". That's where I discuss the theme of change more in detail, not here. They're a little outdated in terms of episode prediction but the meta analysis in them holds up and was reinforced in GW.

The bible = Trust/Faith

So, how does faith/trust get in the way of their relationship? Who has it, who doesn't?

Let's address it. This might be long but bear with me I guess. First we need to address what broke their trust.

North Dakota

(aka the element that broke the link of trust between macden for good, from which they are still trying to recover; and how we got there; their shift in dynamic because of it and how it's a vicious cycle that feeds itself until a breaking point, with no possibility for rational discussion. "How Mac will reject Dennis as a final test to restore their trust")

Part 1: how it affected Dennis

It is my understanding that dennis has been left profoundly scarred by how his decision to leave to north dakota went and he has been blaming the gang for failing to stop him from leaving, and especially blaming Mac. Which lead to the events in Chokes.

Where he felt frustrated at Mac for doing everything Dennis says and never going against him. He's constantly pushing him and being abrasive because he wishes for him to snap and act on his own volition.

Because aside from feeling like he can't trust anyone, and like no one in the gang cares for him, he most of all feels like he can't trust himself. He has been scarred by the consequences of his own actions, and doesn't know what else he might do that could have a similar effect.

Of course a person who can't really trust himself would feel paralyzed, they would not act or do anything. Which is why we are moving away from that, slowly. We need to have this progression in order for Dennis to Realize anything at all.

So Chokes as an episode is sort of a milestone, it runs really deep in multiple overarching events and developments. It's not just fixing macden's dynamic, it's beginning to fix a core problem that stops dennis from reaching macden and that has been prominent at least ever since Tends Bar.

It's something that has been going on in the background for a while, that is touched upon sometimes. Dennis desperately wants the gang to care about him.

So when he is surprised by the RPG on the day that for him is most emblematic of the gang not caring, I think it hit deeper than what we're assuming. His feelings were challenged.

DDL is a result of many things. On the surface it's him wanting to be a dad for his child the way Frank never could for him. I think it was also a test though. If they truly cared, they would stop him. They wouldn't want him to go away.

Now. They don't. That stings. Then things possibly go south in North Dakota. That also stings. It's easy to mentally connect the two and realize the hurt he's experiencing. "If they had stopped me, none of this would've happened" I assume is the correlation he made mentally.

So then he probably thought about Mac, and the gesture he made. He thought that meant something, but then him, like the rest of the gang, did nothing. So he's even more angry at him. "For a moment I really thought he cared, why wouldn't he do something?" Betrayal.

So that to me explains why he's been acting like shit towards Mac. And he's been slowly trying to work through his feelings on the matter, as S13 sorta showed initially, with him not wanting to address it at all for a while, and when he tried again no one cared. He's been trying.

I wonder if it's a possibility that, as we reach the resolution to this circumstance, he will try to bring it up again. I wouldn't count on it necessarily, but character wise it would simply make sense. If he's getting over the problem, he's leaving ND behind. He should, I mean.

Part 2: how it affected Mac

But this isn't just a circumstance that hinders Dennis, it has deeply afflicted Mac too, in a way that is just as personal. "No matter what I do for a person, they can still choose to leave me", it is no wonder to see that side of him exacerbated, then.

Before ND, Mac trusted Dennis' words, enough to let him leave if he said he wanted to, even if it hurt. Before ND, Dennis trusted that Mac would always "be there to catch him if he faltered", that he cared, especially after the RPG moment.

These were true. They could always count on each other, trust each other. ND changed everything, and altered their dynamic in a way that we are still feeling, and still trying to remedy. That Mac and Den especially are still desperately trying to remedy.

They /want/ to go back to their codependent dynamic, they /need/ to. But the way they are desperately trying to is only making things worse and worse, and it's a terrible cycle.

[ The more Dennis rejects Mac in hope that Mac will finally go against him, the more Mac is desperately trying to appease Dennis so that he won't leave him, the more Dennis is annoyed and dissatisfied of Mac's submissive behavior and becomes more abrasive in return. ]

Which is why I think discussing that event is a necessity in order for macden to even happen at all. They theoretically need a face to face conversation to resolve these core insecurities that are getting in the way of their friendship (and possibly more).

It doesn't have to be a romantic thing either, it is just necessary for this conflict to be addressed in order for their dynamic to go back to normal. But that can't happen without a breaking point. We know them enough to assume that they're not gonna just discuss it rationally. It would be the correct way to handle the situation, but they're not like that.

Whether everything resolves positively (as in, their dynamic finally shifting back to before ND) depends on how much they want to stay together and what they are willing to sacrifice or compromise for it. Whether certain grievances can be stronger than their bond itself (and I'm pretty sure they can't, or mac and den would've parted already, long ago).

Mac's internal conflict is likely what will make it so that we have to wait a year. If it just isn't resolved, then he would want proof that Dennis isn't /just saying/ stuff. Den might assure him that he isn't but is that enough for Mac?

How do you resolve a conflict that is basically just a huge almost debilitating fear of abandonment and mistrust of the other person's words? In what way can you possibly prove it wrong?

We know Mac loves Dennis, of course he does. But does he trust Dennis? The way he has been behaving towards him tells me otherwise. He doesn't stand up to him.

Not only that but, more specifically, he's always "interpreting" everything Dennis says, you can see it in Texts for example. He knows den never means what he says, and always has an ulterior motive or hidden meaning. He doesn't take den's rejections at heart too much because he knows they're fake.

So now imagine Dennis has a change of heart. Now he goes to Mac, and he tells him Exactly How He Truly Feels. Knowing the way Mac is used to interpreting Dennis, I don't think he'd believe him. He'd want to, but he probably couldn't.

And I don't think Mac even realizes this lack of trust at all. I think it's gonna hit him exactly as it's happening. He might feel happy at first, then be confused at his sense of uneasiness like he's been used and lied to, like Dennis is saying it to manipulate him.

But that's just for words. Physically speaking, I think Mac is very much aware that Dennis has no intention of ever leaving again, nor can he really. That's how it seemed to be in tggr at least.

The abandonment Mac is afraid of is purely emotional at this point with Dennis. It doesn't need to be a "what if he moves out". More of a "what if he doesn't like me anymore and is using me".

So anyway, about the cycle I mentioned earlier.

This feels like a build up. They can't go on like this forever, they will reach a breaking point. I don't expect them to have an honest and open and calm confrontation and solve their differences before a huge snap of both of them happens, I expect the snap.

You know, either Dennis gets too abrasive and Mac finally "snaps out of him", or Mac gets too submissive and Dennis grows tired of him.

However thanks to Chokes and now Global Warming, we can safely predict it'll be the first one. Chokes set us on a path of Mac making his own decisions, which thanks to GW we know will backfire.

They'll fight, Dennis will be overwhelmed by it as Mac ""leaves"", more on that later, first let me finish my discussion on trust.

I find it suspicious how all the episodes with a semblance of resolution that we have had so far only seemed to fix Dennis' conflicts with Macden. We have failed to address Mac's lack of trust in Dennis' words, even in Texts I think. Especially in Texts.

In Texts it wasn't communication that solved the problem, it was an act, a stare. And we only ever heard Dennis' side of it. Mac at this point already believes that Dennis likes him, so there was nothing new for him to discover at the end.

If anything, it reinforced his belief that Dennis says the opposite of what he thinks, that he isn't honest. Because despite how he's been acting all day, he still saw affection in his eyes, I assume.

But Mac has already always paid attention to what Dennis "really meant", I mean, he does it throughout Texts, thought in the wrong way because it was still through text (miscommunication) and he didn't like to consider the alternative.

I put "really meant" in quotations because Dennis doesn't really work like that. Sure a lot of times Dennis doesn't say what he really means so of course Mac would start interpreting him like that, but there are still many times when he's actually honest. This is just Mac's black and white way of seeing den.

Anyway.

As a result of not feeling heard, Dennis actually developed a heavier and more frequent use of sarcasm. Because if people won't do what he says, then maybe if he says the opposite they'll listen to him. It's a reflex born out of frustration.

Back to the "trust" thing now, because see, all this time Dennis has been acting under the underlying assumption that Mac will choose Him every time. Mac doesn't have this assumption, he has been acting to Prevent Dennis from NOT choosing him.

It's gonna be really interesting, if this turns out to be correct, to see the tables be turned and find out that Dennis was the one with faith. We are used to see Mac believe have it, in god and in their relationship, but ultimately it's Dennis that is trusting Mac to make the right decisions. Which includes choosing Dennis every time.

That's a bigass trust to have for someone who says they have no faith. In contrast to that, what faith has Mac put in Dennis? None that I can think of, he actively does stuff that will please dennis, so far.

"leaving"/"rejecting" Dennis in the finale would constitute, again, Mac's faith in Dennis. He would be choosing something that goes right against everything Dennis wants, having faith that this won't mean they grow apart, and maybe even trusting that it's what Dennis actually needs. And it's what Mac would need as well, as proof that Dennis is serious. Because if he doesn't change his mind, then he is. And you can finally see how the whole season has been constructed as a way to move away from the ND conflict in order to fix their dynamic and broken trust in order to make macdennis work.

This calls back to my meta reading for the first half of the season. Again. This is old stuff. But still accurate.

Some snippets.

I now have a more detailed speculation on how Jumper will go which is no longer the one I had in that meta post, but I will spare you the useless talk and get back to my point. Maybe save that for another post. All I need to say here is that Dennis will be adamant that the answer is SHOULD WE: NO, Mac will want to prove him wrong but Dennis will be proven right, subsequently starting the path for Mac's change of outlook. And what will make him say "no"(t yet) even once Dennis believes they should. Boom, karma.

ANYWAY.

Dennis knows he can depend on Mac or at least he's learning so, Mac isn't sure if he can do the same.

As the two bicker over who had trust in who, and who broke the other's trust, it'll come to the surface, through text, that the roles have shifted. Dennis was trusting Mac all along, Mac wasn't.

Which is why Mac deciding for himself, deciding something that goes against Dennis, saying "no", is the biggest leap of faith Mac can take, the thing that would show us that yes, finally, Mac believes Dennis will still choose him.

TGGR's final part of macden's plot itself shows us Mac accepting Dennis' cynical point of view and losing faith. "I guess we're not gonna get that romantic comedy ending after all". But that is not the note the episode ends with.

Right as Mac accepts that it's not happening, we see Charlie and Frank's ending part of their plot. They're reaching back, they have a new realization. Nikki says that they feel the same way, but they still say no for the time being.

How does this all link to Global Warming, finally?

The Global Warming meta

The jump, the realization, the acceptance, in all the meta I have analyzed in the episodes, it all comes AFTER the explosion, the rejection. First things explode and Mac "leaves", THEN Dennis is overwhelmed and changes his mind, reevaluates. Think of the Nikki&Alexi and Charlie&Frank plot as a frame of reference for this. Think of Chokes also, first Mac says "No", then Dennis is satisfied.

NOW, Global Warming macdennis meta, at its most basic, goes as follows:

Dennis thought what he liked was the sexy girls dancing, then they revolted against him and literally overpowered him, and in the aftermath he has a new outlook on the japanese guys that he once disliked. At the same time as this happens, Mac isn't there to help him.

At the same time, we always see Dennis trying to rationalize his way out of conflicts, and it never working, not with Mac, not with the people in the bar.

Basically, we reach a breaking point in the conflict, and Dennis is overwhelmed by it, Mac doesn't help him in GW, he "leaves", I imagine this symbolizing that Mac finally agreeing with Dennis in the actual final conflict would feel to Den like Mac is "giving up on them". Dennis took Mac choosing him for granted, and he now learns how much trust he had in Mac despite saying otherwise (Chokes) and how much it meant to him. Dennis comes out of it changed.

They both do.

This, as I posted about previously, is all part of "God's plan". Dennis gave Mac back his "free will" in Chokes so that Mac's harsh final decisions could ultimately aid their relationship and trust.

We need Mac to turn Dennis down for the time being AND for Dennis to not change his mind during the wait, for the trust to be restored for both of them. To remedy North Dakota once and for all, and move into the macdennis territory. In a year, aka next season.

So finally, we can see how TGGR, Chokes, Texts and now GW all work together as milestones that set us in that direction.

#iasip #it's always sunny in philadelphia #macdennis #macden #season 14 #the gang solves global warming #iasip meta #this is long and complicated but I hope at least one person will get what I mean

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ravenouswild · 4 years

Text

A fountain - A Donald Ressler Imagine

Imagine an accidental meeting being not so accidental

Mishka sat on a bench in the middle of one of the many parks in D.C. As expected the temperature had dropped another few degrees and she was glad her current wear of: a tan sweater dress reaching mid thigh with extra material around the neck, thick knitted black leggings, knee high boots with equal height stockings, and an off white bean, kept her comfortable in the chilling environment.

She wasn't alone though, a poodle and collie sat in front of her, held in place by two leashes, secured around her wrist. They weren't hers, but a neighbor's that frequently traveled and was in desperate need of a sitter.

Though this wasn't the spur of the moment, wanting a walk to clear the mind, no. Mishka was waiting. For what? The right moment. She only had a one chance and it had to be timed perfectly.

Mishka watched people walk back and forth, heading to where they needed to go. She smiled to herself slightly, for no particular reason than thinking what it was like to be normal. That was a foreign word to the woman. But she didn't let the thought of normality get to her head. She excepted that her life was anything but normal. She embraced it.

The screeching of tires broke Mishka out of her thoughts and set her into motion. Like a machine with a mission, Mishka stood up from the bench, the dogs along with her, and started walking down the right path between the line of trees toward the street. Her pace was calm. She wanted people to see her and forget. She needed to seem like any other woman walking her dogs.

At the edge of the park was a fountain, easily twenty-five feet in diameter. That's where she need to be. Mishka continued walking, the dogs leading the way, following the routine they had been on for about a week now.

As planned, 30 seconds later the three reached the fountain, stopping at the edge. The dogs looked around while sniffing the air, seeming to be in their own little worlds, leaving Mishka to wait for her cue.

It was the next series of gun shots that told Mishka that the plan was working. As soon as she saw a man run out of the building next to her and a set of agents run after him, she took a step forward to place herself in the needed position.

The next few seconds happened so fast no real person could process it, but for Mishka, she expected it. In those few seconds, the man that had run from the building ran into her, quickly grabbing the upper part of Mishka's arm, spinning her and pushing her into the man chasing him. The momentum the man had from running made him unable to stop, caused the two to crash to together, sending them both flying right into the three foot deep fountain.

Mishka felt the freezing water hit her skin as it soaked into her clothes. She found it hard to move her solid limbs to be able to resurface. In the blur of the water, Mishka saw a pair of arms reach in and pull her up and out of the water. Mishka gasped for a breath of air as water ran down her face.

Her eyes focused on a man just as soaked as she was, the man who ran into her. His usual blonde hair was now dark and sticking to his forehead. His suit was drenched from collar to socks. The man's brow frowned as he looked over the woman he had basically tackled into the freezing water.

"Are you alright, Ma'am?" The man's voice sounded soft but also authoritative as Mishka looked in to the man's eyes. It was definitely different from looking at a photo.

"Y-yeah." Mishka stuttered, genuinely starting to feel the effects of being soaked from head to toe. "N-normally I would've p-punched you for tackling m-me, but I-I don't think i can m-move my arms." The man released a small chuckle, making him look years younger. She couldn't help but smile too.

"Tell you what," Mishka hadn't noticed how close she had been standing to the man or how long she had been clutching onto his overcoat. "Let's get you looked at and warmed up and you can have a free shot. Deal?" She couldn't deny that this man was easy on the eyes or that he looked good with water droplets running downs his face, so she agreed, nodding her head already losing some feeling in her finger tips.

He was the first to move, pushing his legs through the freezing water as Mishka stiffly followed. He stepped over the concreted edge, both securing their arms to the other as he help the woman up, over and onto the path way.

He led Mishka over to a black suburban, opening the back door and pulling out a gray thermal blanket, only to wrap it around her shoulders. Mishka secured it around herself already starting to feel better, but then noticed the man close the door.

"What about you? You must be just as freezing as me?" He only glanced at her as he went around to the front pulling out a walkie.

"Keen, did you get Andrews?" There was a short buzzing noise, before a woman spoke from the other end denying his question. A sigh left the man as Mishka continued to watch him. He made a quick call before walking back to the woman. "I'll be fine. An ambulance is on their way. They're just gonna check you over, make sure you didn't get hurt from the fall."

"Thank you." Mishka smiled. "Even though you did just tackle me into a freezing cold fountain." The man chuckled, thinking he would probably never out live this once the team found out, but was brought back to the woman when she gasped.

"Shit." She cursed, running around the vehicle. The man frowned at her sudden changing following her.

"What's wrong?"

"My dogs. Well, my neighbor's dogs, but there gone." Mishka quickly spun around facing the agent. "They probably ran during the commotion. They could be miles away by now." The agent could see the distress in the womans eyes as she looked around. He couldn't help but feel the need to help her, even go searching for the k9s himself in his current state.

"I'll send word out to local shelter's. If they end up at any of them, I'll make sure you know the second they do." Mishka was surprised at his offer. She looked at him, his face held concern but also reassurance, causing Mishka to feel a sense of calmness.

It wasn't long after the an ambulance arrived. They were ordered by the man to check her first, as she was taken and seated in the back, but not before being given a shirt and sweat pants to change into. After a simple check over, the paramedics had told Mishka that she had taken a small hit to the head, which explained her forming headache. She was informed to stay warm for the rest of the day.

Mishka was just about done when she saw the agent walking towards her. He too was in a shirt, a pair of pants and his hair had almost completely dried, showing of his natural blonde. Mishka smile as he approached, still clutching the blanket he gave her.

"How are you feeling?" Mishka would like to think that he was asking that question because that's just something you do as a person. But coming from the man she had only just met, is sounded genuine.

"Warmer. They said the when you tackled me I must've hit me head on the bottom of the fountain. Nothing to major, though."

"If it makes you feel better this moment is probably gonna be over my head for a while. My team found it very amusing." Mishka smiled and so did the man.

"I never got you name or do you prefer 'man who tackled me into a fountain'?" He chuckled at the woman, slightly amused by her sense of humor.

"As nice as that sounds, I think I'll pass." He held out his hand. "Donald Ressler." She took it.

"Christina Levine, but people call me Chris." Donald found himself liking the name Christina a lot more, especially when he put it to her face. When they both came back to reality, they notice they were still holding each others hand. Mishka blushed as she looked down. "Well, I hope you find your guy. And when you do, punch him for me."

It was Donald who let out a chuckle. There was something about her that he like.

"Will do." He stood from leaning against the ambulance. They said their byes, even though it wouldn't be the last time they saw each other.

"Hey." Donald had only gotten a few yards before he turned back around, Mishka smiling at him. "I still own you that free shot to the face, Agent Ressler." Donald frowned, but still had a hit of amusement in his features.

"Who said anything about the face?"

"I promise it'll only hurt for a day or so." Don smiled, with a shake of his head, starting to walk backwards.

"I look forward to it." Mishka watched at he turned back around and walked away. She couldn't wipe the smile from her face and the EMTs finished up and allowed her to leave.

As an order by Donald, a officer escorted Mishka to her car a block way. She was quick to thank him as she got in and pulled into the line of traffic.

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rai-knightshade-art · 5 years

Text

Canonverse AU Metas

(Warning: long post)

The counterpart to my last post about Mac Ever After, these are the two main metas of how Brady might join the canonverse. They're mostly the same story with minor differences between them (and one is written way more angstily than the other) but I'm including both for the sake of completeness. Also bonus Macdalton incorrect quote at the end.

Also here have a Lily Story Mac and Jack to match Brady.

Version 1:

Canon based Macgyver au idea; or, how to bring Brady into the canonverse and a proposed ending to the show itself:

Basically Nikki somehow ends up dead, for realsies this time. This obviously sucks and is super depressing for everyone, but more pressing at the moment is that she apparently had a kid, a son named Brayden (nicknamed Brady). And to Mac's utter confusion, HE is listed as Brady's godfather/next of kin in case anything should happen to her. This confusion is cleared up pretty abruptly when Brady shows up at the Phoenix with Mac's blue eyes, Nikki's hair and nose and a penchant for taking things apart to look at them (aka there's less "godfather" to his role and more just. Straight father). They bond and Mac sets to work caring for his kid, with the assistance of the Phoenix team (Jack is a remarkably adept babysitter... When Brady decides not to escape. Luckily Mac is an escape Master and always knows how and when the kid gets out). Eventually though Mac realizes that juggling Phoenix and Brady... Isn't going to work. He has to pick one of the other, and he knows in his heart that the choice will always be Brady. He tries to announce this to the rest of the team only to find that they'd already realized that this couldn't go on forever and that he'd always choose his son first, and reveal that they all have contingency plans for when he decides to leave. Riley is going to stay with the Phoenix, working with the other computer nerds almost exclusively and helping Leanna with her missions. Bozer is going back into movie making, still dating Leanna and always leaving his door open if the Phoenix needs any prosthetics (he and Leanna get Mac's house). Matty is staying as Director of course, and working on putting together another flagship team (not as good as theirs, but still plenty competent). And Jack? Well, Jack figures now is as good a time as any to retire completely from this life. His new home? Wherever Mac decides to go with Brady, whether that's still LA, Mission City, Boston, etc. Where Mac goes, he's sure to follow. It's at this point that Mac, somewhat sheepishly and probably a little tearfully, admits that he wants to raise Brady on the Dalton Ranch.

And that's how Bozer becomes a well-known effects man with a secret agent wife, Riley becomes the lead hacker at Phoenix, Matty eventually becomes Oversight, and Mac and Jack raise a kid in Texas.

Bonus:

Jack: *steps out of a yellow taxi, Mac by his side, little Brady hidden behind them, to see Mama Dalton waiting for them*

Jack: Mama!

Mama Dalton: Jack Jr! You finally come to your senses and decide you better come home and give me grandchildren?

Jack: *sheepishly* Well Mama, about that...

*Both men step aside to reveal Brady, who shyly hugs his Dad's leg*

Mac: Mama, this is Brayden Macgyver.... My son.

Mama Dalton: *coos over the little boy* Well hello there Brayden, I'm Mary Dalton, and I'm Jack's mama. You can call me Me-ma if you'd like though...

Version 2:

The Canonverse + Brady au:

Ok so basically Nikki got pregnant after that last night with Mac before they busted Thornton, but she didn't tell him because she knew he'd drop everything for the kid and she wanted him to continue his work at Phoenix. She raises Brady on her own for a few years, possibly still with the CIA but maybe not in the field as much, but something goes wrong and she's killed when Brady's 5 (because parallels). Mac and Jack are informed by Matty (because Mac hasn't been in contact with Nikki in years) and Matty has to break the news that Nikki had a son and that she's named Mac the father (possibly using pictures of Brady that Jack sees and immediately recognizes as being spitting images of Mac as a young boy). Brady's brought to Mac at the Phoenix and Mac just kinda,,, breaks? Because Brady asks if he's his Daddy and reveals that Nikki had told him about Mac, shown him pictures, but told him that while Mac loved him he wouldn't get to see him unless she had to leave, and well... It's just a super emotional moment and leads to Mac embracing his son for the first time and promising fervently that he'd never, EVER let him go. It's at this moment that everyone knows that this is the end of the team, cause there's no way in hell Mac's gonna keep putting his life at risk when he's got Brady.

("Why didn't she tell me?!?!" "Because she knew the same thing I know, hoss: as soon as you found out about this kid you'd have quit the team for him." "*Spluttering* I wouldn't-" "Angus, look me in the eyes and tell me truthfully that had you found out Nikki was pregnant that you wouldn't have dropped everything for her and the kid." "....*silence*" "That's what I thought. And that's why she loved you, that's why I love you now, but she and I both know that the world has needed you these past few years, Mac. Now though... Now the world could live without you, if it needed to.")

At some point James sees this and finally realizes that he fucked up, has a bit of a breakdown and Jack talks to him.

("My pop always told me that it's never too late to say you're sorry and mean it. But another wise man once told me that sorry doesn't fix everything, it just starts the conversation. And right now that man needs all the help he can get, especially from a dad who knows how 5-year-old Macgyvers work; I only know how 12-year-old Riley's work, man, I'm not gonna be much help here.")

(This is a lie, Jack is plenty of help, especially when Mac says he wants to retire to the Dalton Ranch, and even more especially when Brady stops calling him Jack and starts calling him Papa. Mama Dalton is Mema from the get go and welcomes the kid with open arms.)

And that's how Mac and Jack retire to the ranch, probably James in tow, with the rest of the crew visiting frequently. Eventually Riley sets up shop in the area (possibly with Billy because him cheating seemed really out of character), and Bozer becomes famous as a filmmaker and sets up his own Skywalker Ranch on some annexed land. Matty visits on occasion, more often when she finally retires. Mac goes on maybe one more mission (like, a world-is-literally-ending-and-ONLY-mac-can-stop-it type of mission) and everyone else helps from the Ranch/takes care of Brady so he can come back to his kid without worrying. Not sure what to do about Murdoc, maybe he stays locked up, maybe he dies (though that would kinda suck for Cassian, maybe he dies and they adopt Cassian too? Ooooo that could be good actually). Later on they might also adopt a little girl, maybe one of Brady's classmates who lost her family and has nowhere else to go (two soldiers with abandonment issues know how THAT feels and could deal with nightmares that she'd have after the trauma). And they just. Create their own happy little life on the Ranch. And it's nice. James learns how to be a proper parent and grandparent, possibly with some help from Mama Dalton. Mac and Jack get married sometime after Brady starts calling Jack Papa (he asked at one point if Mac and Jack were dating, and if so why Jack wasn't Papa or Dad too, which led to a conversation about it and Jack's official elevation to Papa status). Brady was the flower boy and ring bearer combined. All of Jack's Deltas came and adopted Brady on sight. In general everything is beautiful and nothing hurts.

Bonus quote:

Snippet from canonverse:

Mac: *is about to get hella shot*

Jack: *shows up out of the blue right on time* hey babe sorry I'm late *shoots down two goons* traffic was a bitch man you know how it is *shoots three more goons*

Mac: .....I love you,,, so much

#macgyver #macdalton #long post #angus macgyver #jack dalton #myposts #oc: bradan mac cumhaill #oc: brayden macgyver #au: canonverse #au: canon + brady #headcanons and metas #metas

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