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obx-pogue4life · 11 months

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The Right Path For Us

Summary: Rafe just wants to be able to feel his girl without anything between them and that need turns into a conversation which leads y/n and Rafe to realize they just might finally be ready to start a family together

Warnings: Fluffy smut. Slight breeding kink, begging, swearing, kissing, slight dirty talk, mentions of sex, pregnancy and marriage

"Please baby? Let me feel all of you without a condom," my boyfriend Rafe begged. "I need to feel you against my cock. Don't you want to feel me without that barrier in between us? Don't you want to feel my hot cum shoot into you, painting your insides with my seed?

"What I want Rafe, is to not get pregnant by my idiot boyfriend who thinks it's ok to just unload in me freestyle because he wants to feel all of me," I say to him sternly. I'm gonna stick with no.

"Awww come on y/n, what's the worst thing that could happen? You get pregnant? So fucking what! Who cares if I knock you up! You don't want that? Please...I know you. You'd love it if I put a baby in that belly of yours. You'd love carrying around a little Cameron and have everyone know that you belong to me.

I start to blush and Rafe gives me that shit eating grin of his, knowing that what he said is right on the money. "I fucking knew it," he brags.

"OK fine, but just because you technically may not be wrong does not mean I am ready- actually scratch that, that WE are ready for a baby Rafe.

"Pffffftttt," he says looking directly at me. He takes my hand and laces our fingers and leads us to the couch. I follow him but am a little surprised at his sudden silence. We both sit down, him still holding my hand and sit a minute in silence. "Do you know how much I love you, y/n?," he quietly asks, turning to face me.

I mimic his turn on the couch and notice how serious he is. "Of course I do Rafe. I love you just as much, with all my heart," you answer him, grabbing for his other hand. I put it directly over my heart and place my hand over his. "Forever," I say softly. Rafe's face lights up immediately and he moves our hands from my chest to his, repeating the word that means so much to him.

"Forever," he says to me. "I would love nothing more than to start a family with you y/n."

"I'm barely 20 years old," I say desperately trying to come up with reasons to tell this gorgeous man in front of me as to why we should not have a baby right now.

"Well that's a shit reason," he says chuckling. "Just because we're young doesn't mean we aren't ready. We are plenty mature and have plenty of money. NEXT," he says confidently.

"Well...we aren't married, we aren't even engag-," he cut you off with a wave of his hand.

"That is 100% your own doing y/n and you know it. If I had my way, we would have been married a long time ago.

"If you had your way, we would have been married in high school and we might not have made it here because you know perfectly well that it would have been really hard to make an actual marriage work when we still have to worry about getting to homeroom on time and submitting book reports," I say as calmly as I can muster.

We have had this talk many times over the past several years of dating and we both agreed to hold off until I was finished with college and Rafe played a bigger part in his dad's company. I know that him just being a Cameron alone would support us well beyond our means, that is always a big part of our arguments, but it's very important to me to know that we can make it on our own and support ourselves by having real jobs and skills to fall back on just incase we ever needed them. I also wanted to make damn well sure that Rafe knows I loved him despite his money, not because of it and this was a clear way for me to prove that to him; not that he ever questioned it but I never want to give him a reason to. With a family like the Cameron's, there comes a lot of underlying responsibility and a lot of obligations and I never felt ready for all of that, no matter how much I loved Rafe. Well...until now, that is.

"I still think we would have been fine but that was then y/n," he presses. "What about now?"

"Are you actually being serious right now," you say slowly, thinking.

"Serious as a heart attack baby," he states coolly.

"Please baby? You know I will always take care of you and you know how much I love you. It's only a matter of time before you're a Cameron anyway," he smirks at you, leaning in for a kiss. I sigh into his mouth, knowing he's right and struggle to come up with any real reasons why not to at least try to start a family. It probably wouldn't happen right away anyway and I know how much having his own family means to him. I also know he will always make good on his promise to take care of me and to love me. So maybe now could be the right time?

"So I'm not saying yes but-," THERE'S A BUT!, he interrupts.

"Oh my gosh, eager much," I tease him, poking him in the ribs and smiling. "I'm not saying yes but if I were to agree to this, I want to hear you tell me that this just isn't just about sex. I need to hear you without you trying to put the moves on me that you really want this as much as you say you do Rafe because so so help me god, if you're lying to me just to get me to let you fuck me without a condom-," BABY he interrupts again.

"You know me better than that. I would never trick you like that! What kind of a jerky bastard do you think I am?!," he feigns in mock rage.

"I know that," you sigh apologetic. "This is just a huge step for us and I just really need to make sure we both want this for the same reasons."

"We?," he questions, raising an eyebrow and smirking.

"Yes, we," I say to him, smiling back happily.

"You know how badly I want you and to start a family together," he says taking his arms and draping them around my neck. I might have started out like a little bit of a jerk earlier but it's just because I love you so much and my need for you clouds my mind sometimes. And I know that sounds like a line but you know in your heart that I mean every word of it. The pleasure we'd feel would just be an added bonus y/n," he smirks at me.

"Is that so?" I say egging him on.

"Oh baby," he says raspily, his eyes filling with lust. "You have no idea how good it's gonna be."

I feel myself gulp as my eyes widen from his confidently naughty confession. My breathing gets a bit faster and Rafe immediately notices my body stiffen in front of him.

"What are you thinking, y/n," he asks me, resting his head against my forehead.

"That I want you," I immediately say and then blush. I can feel Rafe's eyelashes fluttering against my face and the way his breath begins to pick up. He presses his lips to mine in a sweet kiss and I can feel the smile on his face. After a minute he pulls away to look at me.

"What else do you want?," he asks me, his tone desperate to hear my words of affirmation.

"I really want to start a family with you," I tell him earnestly. I always have. I just wasn't sure we were ready for it until...," I look at him as the realization washes over me. "Well... until this exact moment. It just feels so right. The more I hear you talk about it, the more it just makes such perfect sense."

Before I could barely finish my thought his lips were on mine in a fevered panic, needy and wanting, as if he hadn't kissed me in ages. Between breaths he paused only to say how much he loves me and how happy I make him, confirming to me that this was absolutely the right path for us. As he lay me down on the couch, his body is pressed flush against mine as he puts my hands over my head and clutches my wrists. I sigh in complete content as he kisses my neck and I let my eyes close allowing that familiar feeling to start bubbling up inside me.

"Raaaaffeee," I moan out, letting him know how good he's making me feel.

"I know baby," he says in between biting and sucking on my delicate skin. He moves to my mouth and gives me a long, sweet kiss. His tongue melds with mine so perfectly, it makes me wonderfully dizzy and all I can think about is how in love I am with him. When he stops kissing me and pulls away it takes me a second to come back to earth. I open my eyes and find him smiling, staring at me and his necklace dangling right in front of my nose. I playfully grab the chain gently and he leans in and kisses me sweetly on the nose.

"What?," I say giggling. He's still looking at me with that goofy grin on his face and he once again makes me blush.

"Now," he says with a twinkle in his eye. "I just have to get you to agree to marry me."

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callie-the-creator · 4 months

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and they were roommates

sfw. warnings: reader is gender-neutral, mild scott pilgrim vs. the world spoilers, mentions of alcohol/alcoholism, migraines, hangovers, angst, a sad wallace, etc.

author’s note: scott is my least favorite character, so expect some jabs to be thrown at him in here. anyway, sorry if this is trash or too cringeworthy. i tried my best, y’all ✌🏻

• you’ve known of wallace through a few stories your closest friend, stacey pilgrim. you mainly just listened to her rant about him stealing a few of her boyfriends.

— sadly though, wallace ended up breaking things off with other scott…and jimmy…and that other guy that he can’t remember the name of. the good thing is that scott finally moved out since he is planning on living with ramona. still…it did get a little lonely at times.

• because of how sad and isolated he felt, wallace began to drink. well, more than usual anyway. every night he could be seen lounging at his favorite bar with a generous of empty beer bottles/cans in front of him.

• it wasn’t until the fourth night of this repetitive cycle is when wallace met you: [name: y/n l/n. occupation: bartender. 24 years old and he’s never seen you until tonight which is surprising since wallace practically knows everybody.]

— right off the bat, you two hit it off right away. there was an underlying tension there but for the first few occurrences when you either bumped into wallace in the street or found him at the bar, it goes untouched & unmentioned.

• that was until wallace asked for you phone number when he is drunk. it was really sappy, but he was still nice about it. it makes you happy that wallace isn’t an angry drunk, like whatsoever. he’s just happy to be there and very sleepy. there were a few times where you had to give him over to his place because you didn’t trust him to get there on his own.

• you were always so kind to him, always treating him better than he probably deserved.

• needless to say, it didn’t take long for wallace to think of you in the highest regards. you two even started hanging out outside of the bar where you work at. if he needed something to be picked up, you’ll do it with no questions asked or you would sometimes pay for his coffee if you were out to get yourself a drink too.

— just after a few weeks of knowing you, wallace fell head over heels. and he had it bad.

• of course, he tried to suppress his feelings and tried his damn best to not make it obvious. so, what did our dear wallace do to ensure that? he started to ignore you, partially at least, and became awkward. like…scott pilgrim-level awkward. it’s weird since wallace has always been known to be the complete opposite of his ex-roommate. he’s very easy going, calm, and the voice of reason to many.

• he’s a flirt too. so, why are you having this effect on him? he just couldn’t understand why he suddenly became a bumbling idiot.

• you were worried that you did something to push wallace away, but all your questions were answered when you returned one night to find that he left a drunken message in your answering machine.

— “hey, you know, hic, i've been thinkin', like, a lot. (long pause) and, um, i just wanna say, you're, like, really somethin' special, ya know? (slight slur) i feel all mushy and stuff, but yeah, i kinda, sorta...love you, maybe? (awkward pause) yeah, that's it. hic”

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nyonyen · 6 days

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PUPPY DOG EYES p.2

dog!randal ivory x cat!gn!reader | AO3 | 18+ ᴛᴀɢs: hybrids, established relationship, fighting for domiance, brat taming, riding/floor sex, grinding, pet names ɪɴsᴘɪʀᴇᴅ ʙʏ: many people who wanted a p2 hehe ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏɴᴇ: here

You grin widely at his quick response and suddenly feel his hips roll against yours— his hardness painstakingly obvious. Your tail twitches with anticipation behind you, and Randal’s eyes light up with excitement. Per his only request, you keep your nails deep in his shoulder as you rock back against him. Your legs squeeze against his as you straddle him, keeping you pinned as well as you can to the floor.

The two of you knew very well that Randal could easily flip the script, being that he had… unique abilities— but why would he want to? Seeing you on top of him after appropriately pushing your buttons was beyond alluring.

“I’m such a bad kitty, right?” You mumble, head lowered as you fall into a rhythm with him. “Then why are you so hard? So fucking desperate?”

He chokes out a laugh, a moan underlying it, “You look so pretty, kuku…”

You stutter in your movements, a blush racing across your face, “Shut up.”

Randal’s ears twitched as he took in your reaction, eager to chip your exterior even further, “Are you gonna put me in my place? Have I been a bad puppy?”

“God, just shut up…”

You sheathe your claws, pulling your hands away from his shoulders only to latch them around his throat— your hips never stopping. You felt yourself overcome with need— whether it be to dominate him or simply get yourself off, you couldn’t tell. His eyes roll back, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face as your hands inexpertly press harder and harder.

His breath becomes even more stuck as your thumb presses against his larynx, and the smile becomes even wider. The discomfort would be far too intense for a normal individual, but as established, Randal was far from that. You could hear the faintest of pleas— harder, tighter, more. How did you ever get so lucky?

The desperation was evident in the way his hips kept thrusting up wildly, your own moans spilling out unconsciously. He was rubbing against your clit, even through clothing, perfectly— there was no need to put it in any work yourself.

His cheeks were slowly becoming devoid of color, and even though you knew he wouldn’t pass away, you rescinded your grasp. With a struggling gasp for air, his tongue rolls out as he laughs.

“You’re fucking crazy.”

“Do it again.”

Electing to ignore his response, you focus now on unbuttoning his pants, your claws accidentally snagging on the fabric. Randal grumbles as they tear a bit of it, but with a couple of stern looks, he goes right back to smiling like an idiot.

“Pretty little kitty,” he watches, unmoving, as you pull out his arousal, “What’re you gonna do with that, hm?”

You push your panties to the side, still not talking, and begin to rock against him again. Your skirt rides up your waist as you move, and your hand braces yourself against his leg— claws digging into flesh again. Randal’s head thumps against the rug, cursing under his breath as your arousal slowly coats him— the pace was agonizing.

“Fuck, just hurry up already…”

“Be patient, Ran,” you laugh, breath hitching as his tip catches against your clit again and again. “I know you love being a good puppy.”

He growls in frustration, his breath still ragged from the intensity of asphyxiation. You hum sweetly as you slow down even further, and take the base of his length in your hand— guiding it to yourself. Your hips rise and rise until they fall with a joined whimper from the both of you. Randal watches with rapt attention, ogling at the way he fits so perfectly inside of you. You roll deeply as he sits fully inside, your want increasing despite his nonstop talking. Maybe that was the sole reason for your excitement?

Your hands reach back around to press against his chest, pawing at nothing in particular as you begin to ride him. As you move, you have no situational awareness as his own hands begin to sneak to grasp at your hips. You only relished in the attention, and before you could react, you landed flat on your back.

“All this ‘cause I stole your remote,” his grin widens as your tail attempts to flit in annoyance, “So sensitive!”

You attempt to lift yourself up from his pinning, but Randal begins to thrust into you wildly. The feeling was completely different from when you were on top, it was all the more rough— something you’ve come to expect from the dogman.

Unsurprisingly, his nose began to bleed as he stared again at the way he repeatedly entered you. You jokingly hiss as the droplets quickly absorbed into the fabric of your top, knowing Luther would spend day and night attempting to get it out.

His hands pressing your wrists against the carpet tightened as he watched your expression slowly lose its heated annoyance. You can vaguely hear the muffled Russian from the television, reminding you exactly how you ended up in this predicament. You were not one to complain as you felt Randal’s hands give you the same treatment you gave him.

Your eyelashes fluttered closed as he pressed his fingers into your neck, the level at which was almost dangerous. Everything was intensified, you felt as if you were in some sort of Nyon’s-weed-based daze. You bit your lip hard enough to draw blood, your ever-sharp fangs doing you no justice.

In an unconscious move, Randal closes the distance between your lips to lap at the blood, his thrusts faltering only slightly as he tastes it, “So cute, cute, cute…”

He relents in the tightness somewhat, opting to focus instead on kissing you. You reach a hand down to rub at your clit, the excitement almost reaching that all too familiar precipice.

“Don’t stop, please–”

Your whispered plea is met with an increase in pace, and another bite to your bottom lip from him. Much to his delight, the rest of your words are muddled with moans.

“So easy to domesticate you! Just have to, ah, fuck it into you, right?”

Whining especially loudly, you rub yourself with an increased vigor at his words— obviously meant to get an acute reaction out of you. Your eyes flutter open fully now, watching his face intensely as you feel yourself approaching release. His ears are twitching rapidly again, his nose still supplying a steady drip of blood. He wasn’t far either.

Randal pulls back from your face to watch you as well, taking in the way you unabashedly got yourself off while he fucked you like the rabid animal he was, “Good kitty, yes, yes! Cum all over me, admit that you needed this~”

You try to shake your head, but his adamance and hands that had moved to grab your hips made you fall apart swiftly. You trembled against his body, able to ride out your orgasm as he began his not long after. His stuttering hips and your circles drawn lazily around your arousal had you twitching in pleasure even as he finished.

His still-clothed and sweaty body landed against yours, giggling quietly into your neck as he kissed it sweetly, “Maybe neither of us are good kitties or puppies… we got Luther’s vintage rug all messy.”

Normally, you’d feel a sense of urgency toward cleaning it up before he came home, but you only felt an increased desire to muck it up more. You thought on this for a moment more and sighed deeply.

“Randal, I think we…”

“Kick-started our heats?” He finishes, already beginning to thrust into you again, “Yeah, I think so too.”

#randal ivory x reader #ranfren x reader #✎

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gtgbabie0 · 1 year

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✧Chop chop!✧

{You cut Sirius’ hair}

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Sirius is sitting on the end of your bed, crossed-legged with his red acoustic guitar in his lap, as carelessly strums a soft melody, there’s a crease that taunts his brows as he tucks a stray strand of black hair behind his ear for like the tenth time tonight, and you can’t help the giggle that bubbles out of you when he lets out a huff of frustration.

“Do you want a bobble?” You ask putting your book down, he looks up at you his facial features softening.

“It won’t help lovely, s’got a mind of its own” he sighs ever so dramatically before running a hand through his raven locks, “Needs cutting, all it of it” and there’s a smirk that teeters on his lips because he knows you’re absolutely mad about his hair for whatever reason.

“Okay, that’s a tad bit dramatic Sirius” you roll your eyes and he laughs at you, twiddling a strand around his finger, “You’re such a wind up” you deadpan as he pretends to cut his hair with his fingers.

You move over to where he’s sitting on the bed, your fingers combing through his soft hair, “I could cut it for ya” you smile fixing the pieces of hair that frame his face, placing a gentle kiss on his cupid's bow.

“Mm not sure I trust you with my hair” he taunts studying your face for a reaction.

“I’ll just cut it when you’re asleep” you smirk before leaning into him whispering a threatening, “Sleep with one eye open love” he laughs at you, his eyes shut and nose slightly crinkled with a joyful expression and it fills your heart with love.

“Alright fine, you can cut it just contain yourself okay? My hair is my best feature” he jokes but you have an inkling that his words carry an underlying seriousness.

You clap with excitement as you jump off the bed running to grab some hair-cutting scissors, Sirius would be lying if he said seeing you this excited to cut his hair wasn’t making him just a little nervous.

“Okay!— come take a seat handsome” you wink patting your desk chair for him to take a seat, he walks over with a certain hesitation.

“You sure you wanna do this in your bedroom?” He asks sitting in the chair as you wrap a towel around his shoulders, you move to stand in front of him, hands on his cheeks as you lift his head up to face you.

“This is going to blow your mind, but there’s a crazy invention called a hoover that-“

He rolls his eyes as he pinches the fat on your thighs you stop mid-sentence yelping his name in shock as you slap his shoulder.

“Alright, smartass” he sighs hands settling on the back of your thighs as he pulls you closer to him, your fingers threading through his hair, “Remember to contain yourself sweetheart” he reminds you watching as you take the scissors with a smile.

Sirius holds his breath as you cut the dark pieces of hair, he sees them fall on the floor from the corner of his eye, which he quickly shuts as your knuckles graze against his cheek.

“Breathe, Sirius” you let out a breathy giggle, and he blushes when he realizes just how close you are to him.

close enough for a kiss, he thinks and his hand cups your concentrated face pulling you into him and stealing your lips in a loving kiss, you gasp in surprise which only makes him laugh.

“Sirius you idiot, I could’ve- mm” and before you can finish complaining he pulls you back into him, his lip’s crashing against yours, his hand still squeezing your things.

You pull away suddenly feeling very warm, “Pack it in before I cut all your hair off” you warn him giggling as he makes a kissy face to you, you press one last kiss to his cheek, “Now behave” you smile as you continue to cut his hair.

It takes a little under an hour when you're finally done and you look at him admiring your work, his hair now sitting neatly just above his shoulders, and it frames his pretty face beautifully and you can’t lie you’re quite proud of yourself.

“Do I still look handsome?” He asks looking up at your proud smile, his fingers push through his hair the short length feels odd.

“Oh drop-dead gorgeous” you smile bringing a mirror to his face you watch as he checks himself out, nodding in approval with an impressed look on his face.

“Huh, should’ve more trust in you sweetheart” and perhaps Sirius has found himself a new hairdresser.

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☾⋆AN/ Hope you enjoyed my loves! <3

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lilies-n-slander · 2 months

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Hazbin Hotel would be so much more interesting if charlie’s naïveté and surface-level kindness were treated as the actual flaws they are and didn’t work. Heads up, this kinda just turned into a text wall of charlie neg and ranting so don’t read if you don’t want to see that.

How she currently is, she just doesn’t make that much sense in the setting. I’ve seen ppl say that charlie is a fresh take and contrasts the edginess, but I just don’t see how she is possible. You’re telling me she’s been in hell for 200 yrs but still has this childish and naive personality, is still disgusted by the sinners being cannibalistic, violent, and even just horny, and is so detached from those she calls “her people”? She was born in hell, shouldn’t that make her more used to the sinners’ depravity and not less? She doesn’t seem to have a good grasp on what the sinners want or how they behave. It would make more sense if the show leaned into the toxic positivity white savior nepo baby angle (or rather, actually portrayed it as a *bad* thing) and rather than naïveté, her ignorance was out of self-centeredness and/or lack of true empathy for the other sinners. She would be more interesting as a character too imo.

She looks down on the other sinners (and honestly so does the show?? When she’s showing lucifer around and introduces him to her friends, they’re framed as unappealing as a joke… these are the characters the audience is also supposed to care about.. and many of the bg chars, such as the cannibal town residents, are portrayed as simple-minded brutes), there’s a lot of condescending “….ooookay” type of lines and she constantly has to think of nice ways to frame the clearly negative things she thinks about others. So why does she want to save them so much? The more reasonable explanation is a sense of white savior-ness than actually caring about them.

She’s eager to excuse whatever sir pentious did (which I’m assuming she doesn’t know?) and let him in, despite how he makes the other residents (including her own gf!) uncomfortable. And yes I say excuse, because she never inquires about his past sins or discussed him repenting. It seems to start with sorry, but also end with sorry too. This could’ve been made interesting if she simultaneously looked down on but also excused all sorts of heinous acts. Like val is the most openly manipulative and scummy character, he licks her arm, and yet she’s still apologetic about ruining things (Side note, if she’s genuinely apologetic, then she’s actually an idiot because why is she talking to the boom-mic employee *while they’re filming???*).

She doesn’t know what she’s doing and has no concrete plan but gets incredulous at ppl who don’t blindly trust her. Angel has to leave in ep 4 and she gets SO frustrated over it, like you seriously expect everyone to drop all of their other commitments for you? She has her webster definition notecards for the meeting with heaven and has to improvise and rely on angel being good at the club but she gets mad that lucifer isn’t 100% behind her plan?

Also, trust falls? Really? Then she goes “why isn’t this working? We’ve tried everything!” But on that note, the actual episode portrayal is kinda exactly what I’m going for. Not only do the trust falls not work, charlie says, “I love all of you so much,” pulls her puppy eyes, and only vaggie catches her. It’s surface level and shallow, and does not win anyone else over.

In contrast, vaggie’s attempt at building trust, throwing everyone into a battle, *actually works* (despite vaggie only being in hell for 3 years and being heaven-born, she already knows how things work better than charlie!) and yet charlie talks about it as though it already failed. She says “we work best as a team,” with the underlying message being “I can’t trust you to do things on your own.”

If she was waiting so long to reconnect with lucifer, then why hasn’t she called him in years?? Altho I’m currently rotating lucifer in my brain so I might be a bit biased

“If angels can do whatever and stay in the sky” they can’t?? Your dad is RIGHT there. I. What

She has a power dynamic with every other character except lucifer since she has her demon powers, not to mention she’s giving them a place to stay. When vaggie says she appreciates that charlie doesn’t use her powers, charlie doesn’t say “it wouldn’t be right,” she says it would be too *mean.* But if someone pushes her buttons, who’s to say they wouldn’t slip out (see her flip on a dime after val hits angel. Obv it’s justified in this case, but it shows that she’s willing to use her powers on sinners)? Again, it would be interesting if the show actually leaned into this angle. Imagine if she put on a nice front, never swore, seemed genuinely touching and understanding, but the second someone annoys her she annihilates them and becomes threatening and violent. Then she turns around and is nice again. Too much like alastor? idk

Also, many characters refer to her by calling her lucifer’s daughter, so clearly ppl know that if they cross her they’ll face his wrath by proxy (this also fits in thematically with what lute tells her in the first episode, that she’s exempt from the exterminations bc nepotism privilege). So realistically, everyone else would be a bunch of sucking-up yes-men bc they’re afraid of her. Which they kind of are when push comes to shove?

At first, she doesn’t help at all during the war and lets everyone else fight for her. Doesn’t want to get her hands dirty ig, even though all of this was caused by her in the first place. She only starts fighting at vaggie’s urging.

Like husk points out, every meeting charlie has with the angels makes things worse for all the sinners. Despite lucifer’s warnings that the meeting with heaven won’t work, and against vaggie saying to calm down, charlie basically picks a fight with heaven at the risk of *everyone else EXCEPT HER.*

What were charlie and lilith doing to stop the exterminations before lilith took her 7 year leave? Hell, what was charlie doing during those 7 years? Why does she have 0 connections outside of vaggie, who she only met 3 yrs ago? Why does she have to introduce herself to rosie, rather than her already knowing her name?

Also in ep 7 she says to alastor “I can’t believe how you can do exactly what you told me you would do!” (standing by and watching everyone fail at redemption) almost like she wasn’t paying attention to him at all.

“Why would vaggie hide that she was an exterminator” -> Rosie asks “how did that make you feel?” “It made me mad and doubt if she loves me” like I get it, it was a betrayal, but IS she stupid

Ready For This is charlie manipulating a town of ppl to join the army. Her pitch includes “on the way to the hotel the scenery is nice and you can make friends :3” and “have you ever wanted to die for a cause? Notably I myself am spared from being killed but uh that’s your problem.” Alastor pipes in that you can eat the angels and that’s what actually moves the crowd, because he understands them.

Her perspective on violence and where she chooses to draw the line is really confusing. Why does she care about sinners being violent to each other if they’ll just respawn? She stops alastor from beating up sir pentious at an arbitrary point, but is fine with him eating and presumably killing the gangsters who come after mimzy. (Edit: forgot to point out yet another example, that she was fine with vaggie tossing sir pentious and angel off the balcony but stops her from tossing niffty as well for no reason.) Why is she so apologetic to the angels actively killing sinners but was distraught over vaggie having partaken? Why was she opposed to the CANNIBALS being eager to eat the angels and saying “idk, they seem kinda murder-y” WHAT. What? I’m struggling to even begin to describe how ignorant that is during a WAR. What did she think was going to happen, that she wouldn’t have to fight anyone herself? Why did she stop her dad from killing Adam but doesn’t react strongly to Niffty finishing the job? If it mattered so much to her, the lack of reaction seems strange to me.

Isn’t it just so poetic that her weapon in the war is a shield that she uses exclusively on herself, which she hardly even needs due to her contractual immunity?

Why doesn’t she think to use her powers to build and maintain the hotel? That doesn’t require any violence or domineering. Yet when lucifer comes over it’s run-down and falling apart. Or ask lucifer to help her build it? She was concerned that asking for the meeting with heaven was such a big ask—why not start with this small thing? Father-daughter bonding.

Why does the show end w lucifer + the sinners congratulating her, and in particular, rebuilding the hotel? Hell doesn’t know that sir pentious got redeemed, so from their pov charlie’s idea didn’t work at all.

Can you tell that I’m writing this while I’m rewatching the show?

Aaand that’s that. Her char has always come off to me as somewhat condescending/fake, but I keep finding more and more things to dislike about the way she’s been written. Unfortunate. Honestly tho I might enjoy watching her more if I read her through this lens. You could probably write a similar post for most/all other chars in the show, limited only by the amount of screentime they get lmao

#ps it would have made a bit too much sense for the character fucking named ANGEL to be redeemed at the end of the season #he was the one charlie was making her entire case about in ep 6 #like sir pentious was never brought up #and angel was one of the ogs of the hotel #and had ep 4 #but ig the show thought better of it #rewatching the pilot and angel would’ve been so much more interesting ;u; he’s so one-note now…#hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel #meta #charlie morningstar neg #honestly with lucifer as my blorbo I probably shouldn’t be shittalking charlie #he’d annihilate me #sorry man I just want your daughter to have a bit more confidence… yeah that’s it #.txt

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the-kr8tor · 11 months

Text

(Un)Lucky

Pairing: Hobie Brown x Blackcat! GN Reader / Spider-Punk x Blackcat! GN Reader

Word count: 1.9k

Tags: FBW, smut Implied, TW blood, TW violence, TW death, cursing, hurt/comfort. No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader. Idiots in love.

Synopsis: Unlucky in life, unlucky in love. You question your situationship with Spider-Punk.

* I don't consent to having my work translated/ published on other platforms*

Black silhouetted shadows dance around the moon lit mansion, your feet expertly landing on the marbled floors without a sound. Slinking around the fancy beige colored furniture, your focus is on one thing – The safe hidden behind a large modern painting, how very cliché you thought. Swiftly dodging security cameras by climbing up the ceiling using your manicured claws, you finally drop down next to a large pair of concrete doors. You raise your brow at how atrocious it looks compared to the colorful modern paintings you've seen around the mansion.

"God, I hate brutalist architecture" you whispered to no one.

Bringing out your index finger, you admire your sharp claws for a second before bending down to pick the door's lock. You feel the soft leather of your suit expand at your movement. But before you could pick the lock, you felt a presence behind you. Stopping for a brief moment to slowly grab one of your throwing knives, unclipping it from its holster - you fling it at the presence behind you.

The figure hanging upside down from the ceiling catches the knife's handle gracefully before it could stab him in the face. He lets it fall to the ground, impaling the oak table below.

"Woah, Don't mind me just enjoying the view" the spikes on top of his mask shine in the moonlight, bathing his suit in a soft blue light.

"Of course it's you, hello to you too, beanpole" You scoff at his appearance, Pretending to be annoyed.

Spider-punk drops from his web, softly landing on his feet. "I'm offended, after our last encounter I thought we're past the mean nicknames" He detaches the knife embedded into the table and plays with it.

"Oh so that's why you're here, you missed me, web-slinger" your voice saccharin smooth as you confidently stride towards him, your hand reaching out to him, non-verbally asking for your knife back.

"In your dreams, love. The owner hired me to watch over his place, you've been hitting a lot of his friends' places, he figured he's next" he says with a scoff.

Instead of the knife, Hobie puts his hand on your waiting one, You stare at your joined hands, and raise your eyebrows questioningly. Your eyes soften as the whites of his mask widen at his realization.

"I beg to differ, you dork" you smirk at him.

He lets go of your hand, and puts the knife on your palm. Hobie's thankful you can't see his face, albeit he still stares at you directly, challenging you to have a go at him like you usually do, you can definitely do better than call him a dork. But you don't for some odd reason.

Putting the knife back in its place you turn your back at him, you continue working at the lock. You bend down again.

"Fuck'n hell, love" he unashamedly groans at the sight of you.

Fully aware of his eyes on your ass. It doesn't bother you, quite the opposite actually, you liked the attention he's giving you, and dare you even say you like the guy. But the words 'I don't like labels' echoes in your mind. You don't like it either, you liked just having fun with him, but the memories of your last encounter with the man behind you keeps playing in your mind.

The way he kissed and touched you that night, it felt different, a good difference, you think. The entire time It felt like there was an underlying emotion other than lust prevailing that fateful night. You have no idea how to make sense of your situation, or how to feel about him. So you do what you always do, shelf it in the back of your mind, keep piling similar memories on top of it, until one day it bursts out of you like Vesuvius. Hopefully no one's there with you to witness it when it finally happens.

"Oi, cat got your tongue?" His voice snaps you back to reality. You can't see his face with your back turned but you imagined him with a smirk under his mask, the same way you imagined what he would look like. You've only seen the bottom half of his face, the same way he's only seen your face clad in your domino mask.

"I'm busy" you bite back as you feel for the mechanism to finally unlock with a click.

"Right, no cat puns when working" he says.

You push the heavy doors, satisfaction on your face. You look over your shoulder to look at him.

"If you're gonna web me and sell me out to your boss just do it already" you pointedly tell him.

"As much as I'm into the first part, it's a no to the last bit" His comment gets ignored.

You head inside the office, with Hobie not far behind. You glare at the expansive yet unnecessary room.

The room's marble flooring is covered in various animal furs, the walls lined with tacky paintings of the owner. A few of the paintings show the greedy man hunting wild animals, you glare at the painting as if your eyes would suddenly cause it to combust into flames.

"With all the money in the world, he couldn't hire an interior designer?" Hobie grimaces at the various décor around the room. "No cameras" he pointed out.

"Probably to cover his shady dealings with Roxxon" you tell him.

"Tsk, nasty, nasty old man." Hobie finally looks at you taking down the huge painting to reveal the large metal safe.

He sighs annoyed at your attitude. "Y'know me, cat, I would never actually help people this rich, hell I'd even help you if you asked"

"Why'd you take the job then?" You ask as you try to crack the safe's code.

Hobie leans against the doorway watching you. "Unfortunately we live in a capitalist society, and I need money to eat. He didn't ask me to catch you anyway, just watch the place. No matter how much I want to burn down this bloody eyesore" And I was hoping to see you again. He also wanted to add.

You didn't bother to reply, you hum at his explanation. You hear the satisfying click of the safe's lock finally unlocking. Why was it so easy?

"What's up with the stick up y –" He cuts himself off.

His spidey-sense kicks in. Everything seems to be moving in slow motion for Hobie, a wave of red hot fear floods his entire body as he sees you slowly open the safe. His mind seems to be stuck in the moment, thankfully his body moves with muscle memory, he swiftly moves away from the doorway, one hand reaches out to web you towards him, his other hand reaches behind him, he webs the wall to pull you both out the room.

The subsequent explosion can be heard, smoke and ashes fill his vision. The once heavily decorated room now looks like ground zero.

Hobie's ears are ringing, but he doesn't care, he needs to find you. His eyes pull towards the room where they were both in. The large concrete doors closed, their edges burned from the explosion. The force from the explosion must've closed it.

The heavy doors accidentally saved them, he didn't have time to think how it happened, he just needed to find you, he needed to know that you were okay.

He screams your alias with a gutteral screech. Hobie stands up, his stance wavers but he continues on. He winces when some of his blood gets into his eye, realizing his mask now torned up from the side, only hiding half of his face. His eyes roam around the damaged mansion looking for your figure, his eyes stop once again to the concrete doors.

His heart sinks at his realization.

"No, no, no!" He limps towards the large doors.

He didn't notice if his web actually reached you in time to pull you both out.

He pulled and pushed at the comically large doors. It doesn't move.

Hobie's mind plays tricks on him, he keeps seeing in his mind's eye - your charred body, skin turned to ash, eyes burned into your sockets, your jaws permanently set in a scream. His own mind mocks him. Hobie ignores the vision. He kicks and screams for the doors to magically open.

He has no idea how long it has been since the explosion, with his ears still ringing, smoke and dust clinging around the room. His hope dwindles.

Hobie falls to his knees, eyes unblinking and wide, crimson seeps from the cut on his head. He ignores it and just stares blankly at the gray doors.

It was his fault.

He can't believe he left you, he was too slow. Of all the people in the world why you. Memories of you keep playing in his mind, trying to push away the image of your death.

In his stupor he doesn't notice a shadow enveloping him, arms finding its way to his shoulder hugging his twitching form. For a second he thought you were haunting him.

He finally gets a grip on reality and looks behind his shoulder.

Your domino mask now clinging to one side, mirroring his own damaged mask. Blood seeps from the side of your cheek. Your eyes are dull but open.

Your eyes are open.

He turns around lightning fast, Hobie clings to you like velcro. His shoulders sag from the relief, as if he can finally breathe again. You sigh at the contact, and let out a small laugh.

"Oi, what's so funny" he pulls away from you slightly, he looks at your head to assess the damage.

"I'm not brain damaged," you smile at his concern, you grab his face, cradling it. "I'm fine, we're both fine, you saved me" you look at each other, affection prominent in every crevice of your bodies.

You both now have a clear view of each other's faces.

"You look better than I imagined," he softly says.

You giggle at his comment "And you look so much cooler than I thought, it's unfair, I thought I was the cool one"

"I was this cool the whole time" he teases.

You grab his neck to carefully put your foreheads together. To calm the lingering tension from it, you rub circles on his skin, In turn Hobie cranes his neck to look at your lips asking for permission. You nod and let him ground you both back to reality with his kiss.

Hobie reluctantly pulls away "Let's go before they find us, yeah?" He helps you stand up. "You up for a swing 'round the city?"

You give him your signature smirks "your place or mine?"

"Yours" he grabs your waist. "There's a first time for everything right?"

"Oh you're gonna love my cats" You smile wildly, you don't know if your face hurts from the cut on your cheek or from smiling too much.

He memorizes the look on your face as if, all of this was just a dream, and he'll forget what you looked like once he wakes up. He grabs you by the waist, and swings out of the wreckage. Just in time before sirens could get closer to the mansion.

As you swing away towards your home, you think about where your relationship currently lies. There might not be a label for your relationship yet, or what this all means in the future. But at least now you know how he truly feels, how you feel.

As for the bastard who tried to blow you both up, revenge can wait, for she is patient.

You'll think about everything later, but right now you enjoy the moment as you cling to him.

A/n: Hope you enjoyed reading it! Likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated ♥️

#hobie brown x reader #spider punk #spider punk x reader #atsv fanfiction #hobie brown #spider man across the spider verse #spiderman across the spiderverse #x reader #hobie brown x gn!reader #spider punk x gn! reader #tw blood #tw violence #Hobie brown x blackcat!reader #Spider-punk x blackcat!reader #fanfic #the kr8tor's creations #tw death

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thecampjuicebox · 5 months

Note

Can I ask for how the Baldur's Gate 3 origin companions would react to Tav willingly taking a near fatal hit to save their life when they had only just recently met and then carrying on like they didn't just almost die to save the life a total stranger (even being confused why anyone would make a big deal about it if confronted)?

Yes absolutely! I'll keep these relatively short and sweet in the interest of time (and space). ✨

Astarion

The vampire spawn would certainly be perplexed by the way Tav would so willingly take a hit for him. No one has ever done something nice for him on purpose, let alone out of the kindness of their heart. He'd feel like it was transactional. Maybe he should take a hit or two for them now. And their confusion at his question of "why" would perplex him even further. "You could have died, you idiot. What do you mean you're confused? You're a strange one."

Karlach

I think Karlach's response would be very similar to when Wyll stuck his neck out for her to Mizora. Just purely grateful. She'd very willingly throw herself in front of an enemy to return the favor, or rush to Tav's side to smack some baddies if they needed the help. The Tiefling is so kind on her own, I just know she'd appreciate some kindness being shown to her, regardless of the circumstances. When Tav shows confusion toward Karlach asking why they'd get so close to death for her, Karlach would simply reply with a "Thank you, Soldier. It means a lot."

Wyll

As the Blade of Frontiers, I know Wyll is used to taking the brunt of the fight head on. But when Tav jumps in front of him, phew. I think it would be quite a bit for him to process. The hero becomes the damsel, and suddenly, he doesn't know how to act. He'd be grateful, of course. Maybe even a little apologetic for making such a grave error during a fight. I don't think he'd ask why Tav did it because he fully understands the desire to help others, but he'd be sure to express his gratitude nonetheless.

Shadowheart

Shadowheart is such a headstrong and secretive character with an underlying softness so her reaction to Tav putting themselves in immediate danger for her could cause a whole mix of reactions. Of course she'd be thankful, and probably react the same as when Tav saved her from the pod on the Nautiloid. However, mixed in there, I think would be a sense of guilt. Like Shar would be disappointed in her for some reason. And there would lie the dilemma of "Do I thank this person, or do I brush it off because I didn't ask for their help in the first place?" The question of "why" would absolutely cross her mind, but I think she'd avoid asking to preserve her pride.

Lae'Zel

I just know Lae'Zel would almost be annoyed that Tav would jump to protect her. There's no way an istik like Tav would want to help her, right? It would confuse her, for sure, as I don't think she'd initially think to do the same for Tav. Not that Lae'Zel isn't capable of caring for people, but in the beginning, she's definitely a self preservation type. She'd absolutely insult Tav for their recklessness and the fact that they got themselves THAT hurt in the first place.

Gale

Ah yes, Gale the loverboy. Tav throwing themselves in front of a blade for Gale would start the downhill spiral of Gale falling for them. He does mention at some point that he loves the way Tav looks in battle, and he's incredibly drawn to their musk and the blood on their clothes. So of course he'd be hella horny for Tav after they take a hit or two for him. And of course he'd do the same in return if it meant making Tav happy. He's the sweetest. Wouldn't even question why Tav helped him, but he'd give them a billion and one thanks for it.

✨BONUS ROUND✨

Halsin

Halsin's whole thing is helping people, so it would come to no surprise to him when Tav jumps to his rescue. Not that he expects it from people, but he hopes people would do for him what he'd do for them. He's another one that would start to fall for Tav for that exact reason. Their selflessness, their strength, their willingness to provide aid. He'd give so much thanks, mostly in the form of big bear hugs. Wouldn't question their intentions, would just appreciate the thought of him.

Minthara

Minthara can be an absolute bully at first. She'd absolutely criticize Tav's approach to the situation. "Well if you didn't leave your left flank open, you wouldn't have gotten hit there." and things of that nature. She'd thank Tav purely to save time arguing the logistics of why it was stupid of them to come to her aid in the first place, when she CLEARLY had it under control (She absolutely did not). She'd have a very similar reaction to Astarion when questioning Tav about why they'd assist her, thinking Tav is an absolute idiot.

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 headcannons #gale dekarios #lae'zel #shadowheart #astarion #karlach #halsin #minthara #wyll ravengard

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cacoetheswriting · 11 months

Text

pearl: june & july 1985

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader word count: 4.5k chapter summary: reunions aren't always happy on the first try.

content warnings: best friends to lovers, slow burn, mutual pining, adult language & mature themes, stubborn idiots in love, quite angsty, a little fluff, mentions of the upside down / blood / character death / loss of a parent, grief and grief management, emotional hurt / comfort, self-doubt / insecurities, mentions recreational drug use, use of pet names - if i missed anything, pls let me know!

pearl masterlist

June 20, 1985

With another failed senior year behind his belt, Eddie was feeling mighty sorry for himself.

He really banged on graduating this year so he could leave Hawkins behind forever, along with all the memories he had associated with this place.

Memories of you.

His grip on reality was slipping and this time it wasn’t because of the weed.

Yeah, he smoked the devils lettuce more over the last six months than ever before, but that’s not what had him tripping. You did, or rather the memory of you and how badly he fucked everything up before last Christmas.

Starcourt Mall had quickly become the only place in Hawkins not tainted by the memory of you.

Eddie didn’t like coming here, it was too colourful, too cheerful. On afternoons like this though, when he found himself reaching for Pearl and the scarf you left behind, Starcourt Mall was exactly where he needed to be.

Turns out that, unfortunately, the universe had other plans. Apparently it didn’t want him to escape this literal hell that’s been seeing you everywhere he went, or hearing the sweet sound of your voice in every possible surrounding. Apparently the universe didn’t want Eddie to forget you despite his desperate need to.

A belief affirmed when Eddie walked by the food court.

“Freedom is just another word for nothin' left to lose. Nothin', don't mean nothin' hon' if it ain't free.”

What the fuck— he froze in his spot, just outside Scoops Ahoy. At the end of the locale, behind the till, was the girl he'd been desperately trying to get over, and right next to you, singing his own terrible rendition of Me and Bobby McGee was fucking Steve Harrington.

Eddie's jaw clenched instinctually and his fingers balled into fists at the sight in front of him. Fury began to burn through his veins as you tilted your head back in laughter at Steve dancing around you, holding an ice-cream scooper in front of his face like a microphone.

Not only were you back in Hawkins and the metalhead somehow didn’t know, you were also hanging around Steve the Hair Harrington, singing a song deemed to be only yours and Eddie’s.

Back in December, when you two saw each other last, you gave Eddie shit for lending a tape of what you yourself declared to be the album that’s defined your friendship. Even though the underlying subject of that argument was larger than the tape in question, looking at you now, Eddie was hurt.

Yeah, it was mostly his fault you weren’t friends anymore, he knew that. But despite his shitty behaviour towards you, this was a stab in the back 'cause you were twirling around Harrington, singing along, “Good enough for me and my Bobby McGee”, as if nothing you shared with the metalhead mattered.

Eddie observes as you playfully slapped Steve’s chest, the biggest smile gracing your features. He didn’t realise just how much he missed seeing your smile until this moment, and every fibre of his being ached because he wasn’t the reason for your happy reactions anymore.

Time seems to have come to a standstill.

He's not sure how long he's stood there shamelessly staring, but whatever spell he found himself under is broken when a group of kids runs past him. In that same moment, you disappear into the back of Scoops Ahoy and Eddie knows he doesn't have long before you return so he hurries inside — maybe Harrington can give him some answers.

“Ahoy, how can I help you today?” Steve announces excitedly when Eddie approaches, however, the playful charade is just that, a charade. The second the metalhead stop at the till, Steve leans in close and grumbles, “She doesn’t wanna see you, man. Either get some ice-cream or get lost.”

“How do you know I’m here for her?” Eddie scoffs, trying to play tough.

Harrington rolls his eyes. “Dude, you’re not fooling anyone. I freaking saw you standing out there for the last fifteen minutes, eyeing her like she’s some prize you can never win.”

The sigh that escapes Eddie's lips is defeated.

“Look man, I’m not here to cause a scene, okay? I just wanna know how long she’s been back in Hawkins.”

“And then you’ll leave?” Steve sounds sceptical but Eddie nods 'cause regardless of what the King of Hawkins may think, Eddie really wasn’t in the mood for some big confrontation.

“Okay dude, okay. Ehm… I really shouldn’t be telling you this, but she dropped out of college in early March and was back here about a month later so… guess the answer you are looking for is April.”

April. You've been at Eddie’s fingertips for the guts of three months and he didn’t have a clue. How the hell did you manage to steer clear of him for this long? Hawkins isn’t that big of a town.

“Now, are you getting a scoop or—”

“Nah man, I’m going.” Eddie mutters and shoots Steve a weak smile. “Thanks, eh… I appreciate you being honest with me. I don’t know what she told you—”

“Munson, whatever went down between the two of you is none of my business. All I know is she made it quite clear she didn’t want to see you and as her friend, I owe her to see that request through.”

Sliding his hands into the pockets of his jacket, Eddie chews down on his bottom lip.

“Yeah, I get it. See you around, Harrington.”

Dropping his head, Eddie's exit is just as quick as his entrance. He does make one more mistake though. He decides to look back at the till. Not really because he thought he’d see you again, but that’s exactly what happened. You're at Steve’s side again, only this time your attention is elsewhere.

You are looking right at Eddie, a perplexed expression on your face.

The metalhead lifts his hand and waves at you rather awkwardly. To his surprise, you do the same. The action, albeit small, is enough to ignite a glimmer of hope within the curly-haired boy. One that's quickly squashed by a feeling of resentment and he heads in the direction of the exit as you follow him with your longing gaze.

“You said you didn't wanna talk to him,” Steve defends his actions for shooing Eddie away.

“I know.”

Over the last couple of months, Steve Harrington had become your knight in shining armour.

Ever since Christmas of 1984, he’d been at your beck and call, from driving down to see you every other weekend while you were still at college, to helping you with various basic chores for your mom.

You weren’t quite best friends, but you were inseparable. Steve made moving back to Hawkins easier. He was actually the first person you told about your decision to drop out and the boy couldn’t have been more supportive. He even came with you to convince your mom this was for the best — although, it was not like she needed much convincing because ever since your dad passed… well, she hasn’t entirely been herself.

She is a big reason why coming home was the right thing to do. Your mom needed you now more than ever and you needed her just the same.

To say you hadn’t quite come to terms with your dad’s death would be a severe understatement. Yes, you learned how to cope with the day to day, and honestly, you were on the right path to fully allow yourself to feel all the emotions you'd been somewhat suppressing, but then you found out the truth.

Back in February, you came to visit your mom for her birthday. At first, she didn’t want anything extravagant, but after bumping into Karen Wheeler at the store, your mom decided that company is perhaps exactly what she needed. “The house has been so empty since your dad’s funeral,” were her exact words.

That’s how you ended up sitting in the garden on the snow-covered patio furniture with Steve and a bunch of kids he swore he didn’t babysit.

You don’t exactly remember who let the word Demodog slip first — Steve thinks it’s Dustin because apparently that boy can never keep his mouth shut. Once you noticed the horrified look on all of their faces, you knew it was a word you weren't supposed to hear.

After much nagging and borderline blackmailing, you came to learn a lot more than you had bargained for: the Upside Down, Jane’s real identity, Eleven, along with her crazy superpowers, and most importantly, the events that transpired at Hawkins Lab in November 1984 leading to how your dad really died.

By the time you had gone back to college, the scary creatures those kids described had invaded your dreams. You weren't eating, you weren't sleeping. You basically forgot how to function. Your grades began to slip and it didn’t take long for your to realise you no longer felt a passion towards American Literature.

Although being back in Hawkins terrified you, being around your mom, seeing you smile for the first time since November, and being around Steve, cleared the dark fog that had formed within you. By the time summer had come around, you were genuinely happy again.

That feeling lasted until today.

The second your gaze landed on a leather clad frame with a set of curly brown locks, your heart stopped. A certain melancholy overcame you as his doe-eyes locked with yours. He waved awkwardly and when you lifted your hand to do the same, you realised you haven't been completely happy.

There was an Eddie shaped hole in your heart. It’s been there since your last conversation in December, if not earlier, the funeral perhaps. You just subconsciously decided not to address it.

You watch him hurry away and something inside of you snaps, or maybe it clicks into place. Either way, before Steve can do anything to stop you, you rush out of Scoops Ahoy and in the direction Eddie disappears in.

He’s not hard to spot in the crowd. His dark attire is easily noticeable amongst all the neon of other Starcourt Mall goers. You debate calling his name, but then again you don’t really want to talk to him with so many people around. Your first conversation since December should be somewhere more private — especially since you're not sure exactly what you want to say.

Once outside however, you're forced to make a brisk decision.

“Eddie?”

The sound of his name causes him to halt. He slowly spins on his heel and the two of you are now standing face to face, only an arms length apart, for the first time in months.

“I thought you didn’t want to see me,” his tone is surprisingly harsh, “Or did Harrington lie to me?”

“Well, I-I…” you inhale, fidgeting with your work uniform. “N-no, Steve didn’t lie. But then I saw you anyway, outside the shop, and I-I… well, I don’t know exactly.”

The metalhead is agitated. You can tell by the way he runs a hand down his face before crossing his arms across his chest.

You begin to panic.

How stupid of you to run after him like some pathetic school girl in love. How stupid of you to think even for a second you could have a normal conversation considering how badly the last one ended — “Perhaps space is exactly what we need,” the argument is now ringing in you ears, “We clearly forgot how to be there for one another.”.

“Forget it,” you mutter, “I don’t know why I followed you out here.”

You're about to walk back inside when suddenly Eddie’s hand is holding onto your forearm, preventing you from going anywhere. Your shocked gaze shifts to his grasp on you and the feeling of his skin on yours sends a shiver down your spine.

After a split-second, you nervously lift your eyes to meet his.

“Why didn’t you tell me you came home?”

There’s a sense of urgency in his question. Urgency and a hint of betrayal. You hesitate to answer as there are a number of different scenarios running laps across your mind. All you are certain of is you won’t be made to feel guilty for this decision.

“Are you forgetting you’re the one that said we needed space from each other?” You bite back, snatching your hand free from his strong grip. “I’m giving you what you asked for, Eddie. What more can you possibly want from me?”

“Your behaviour is fucking confusing!” Eddie yells, earning the two of you some rather questionable looks from other patrons of Starcourt Mall. He’s quick to notice the odd glances and composes himself briskly while taking a step towards you.

“I’m supportive, you’re agitated and then ignore me. I try to give you room to breathe, you give me shit for being a bad friend. I stand up for my own feelings, it’s wrong. I tell you what you want to hear, I agree about spending time apart, and you follow me out here only to be a bitch. I’ve done everything you wanted these last few months and you continue to give me a hard time.” Eddie exhales sharply then continues, “Okay, I get it, perhaps you were staying true to our promise by not telling me you were back in Hawkins, but if you really didn’t want to see me, why the fuck did you follow me out here?”

“You actually think time apart is what I wanted?” You ask, focusing on that part of his speech.

Eddie nods, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, and your lips part slightly in shock.

“I never wanted this. I never wanted to be away from you for this long. If you took the time to read the letters I left you, you would fucking know that!” You jab your finger into his chest with all the power you can muster.

He grabs your finger, squeezing it. “I kissed you and you fucking froze me out,” he practically hisses, though the pain in his eyes betrays his angered front “And you're apparently dating Harrington now so fuck me, I guess, for thinking you felt something too.”

“This is pathetic, Eddie. I can’t believe you.”

He opens his mouth for a rebuttal, but he never gets the chance to say anything because you're both interrupted.

“There you are!” Robin hails your attention and Eddie drops his hold on you immediately. “Steve said something about finding you? Can you believe that guy? I literally just got in for my shift and he has me running around the whole mall as if he doesn’t finish work in ten minutes—” She stops, glancing between you and the metalhead.

“Everything okay?” Robin asks.

“Yeah,” you reply, perhaps a little too quickly, “We were just catching up.”

You can tell she doesn’t entirely believe you and honestly you couldn’t blame her since you and Eddie didn’t necessarily display the body language of two people having a friendly talk. But Robin doesn’t say anything to point out the stiff dynamic. Instead, she links her arm with yours and starts to slowly pull you away from the curly-haired boy.

“Is your mom still making bolognese tonight? Do you think she’d mind if I crashed your dinner? I love pasta.” Robin babbles while you shoot Eddie one last look. He dips his head, avoiding your gaze, and begins to trek in the other direction, assumingly towards his van.

Your heart is aching as you watch him go. Once again you are victims of poor communication and seriously bad timing.

July 4, 1985

Holidays really aren’t Eddie's thing.

Even growing up he thought the Easter Bunny was dumb, Halloween just a little too childish, and the magic of Christmas purely designed for people with big happy families — something he wasn’t privy too.

That all changed when you waltzed into his life.

Eddie was quickly fascinated by how you easily made every single holiday special in some way, even the really obscure ones like National Pizza Day, or National Cat Day. By simply being yourself, you made these celebrations fun and unique.

4th of July in particular had become Eddie’s favourite.

Every year, the two of you would enjoy a barbecue at your parents house, Wayne would be invited too. Everyone would watch the firework display from the backyard, and then you and Eddie would leave to camp out by Skull Rock.

The night was usually sleepless. You’d smoke, exchange ghost stories, and fill your stomachs with junk food you had previously taken from your parents' press.

Last 4th July, Eddie almost told you he had feelings for you.

This year, you wanted nothing to do with him.

Wallowing in his own self-pity, Eddie decided to spend this 4th of July in bed. He stocked up on soda and snacks, and planned on getting so high, he would think the fireworks were aliens coming to abduct him.

He had just about cracked his window open to allow for minimal ventilation during the night, when someone started banging on his door. Uncle Wayne enters moments later, the expression on his face is one of horror, but then also relief and Eddie's stomach twists into a knot.

“Oh thank heavens you’re here, boy.” Wayne exhales.

“Where else would I be?” Eddie questions, slowly crossing his room.

Wayne waves his hand dismissively and turns on his heel, walking away from his curly-haired nephew. A huff escapes Eddie's lips when he's forced to follow.

“Where else would I be?” He repeats.

“Doesn’t matter, kid. Just glad you’re safe.”

“Come on, Wayne. Don’t be like that.” Eddie probes, “You came running into my room as if something happened and now you just expect me to drop it?”

Uncle Wayne sighs. He’s facing his nephew now, hands on his hips. “Thought you’d be at Starcourt Mall for some reason. Glad you’re not is all.”

Eddie's brows furrow. “Starcourt Mall? What’s happening at Starcourt Mall?”

'Cause he's not at Starcourt Mall, but someone he knows, and despite everything, someone he still cares for quite deeply, most likely is. His insides fill with dread. Judging by his uncles behaviour, something bad has happened and Eddie can’t just stand here knowing he could do more, knowing he could at least try to see you.

So he doesn't waste any more time, running back to his room to throw on a pair of disheveled sneakers, before pushing past Wayne to get to the front door.

“Where are you going?”

“Starcourt Mall.”

“Eddie—”

“She could be there,” is all Eddie says. It’s all Wayne needs to hear. He throws his nephew the keys to the van and Eddie hurries outside.

The entire drive to the shopping centre, Eddie is feeling frantic. He still has no idea what happened, but his entire body is shaking. Even though you and him aren’t exactly on the best of terms, at this moment in time, you are everything to him. The mere thought of losing— no, he can’t be focused on the bad things right now.

Unfortunately, he’s right to be scared.

Chaos unfolds in front of Eddie’s eyes the closer he gets to Starcourt Mall. It seems the entire fire department has passed him on the way and as he turns the corner, he knows exactly why.

Bright orange flames engulfed the entirety of the venue. Eddie has never witnessed a fire of this extent, but he is smart enough to know the probability of someone making it out alive are quite slim. All he can do now is hope you weren't inside when the fire started. All he can do is hope he can find you amongst the crowd gathered in the parking lot, before rushing to your house just in case you’ve been there all along. Safe.

He parks the van as close as he can and sneaks under the police tape when no one is looking. There is so much going on, Eddie isn’t sure where to focus his attention. People screaming, children crying, first responders running up and down. His heart is in his throat while he looks around like a headless chicken, feeling frantic.

Suddenly, there’s an arm on his shoulder and he panics some more, thinking he got busted, though when he shifts in his spot to meet whoever has grabbed him, he feels relief.

“Dude,” Harrington drops his hold on the metalhead, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

Even under the night sky, Eddie can see the brunette boy looks rough. Judging by the red-ish bruises on his face, whatever happened to him, had nothing to do with the fire. But Eddie doesn’t care about that right now. There is only one person on his mind.

“Where is she?”

Steve knows exactly who Eddie's asking for and he’s kind enough not to put up a fight. Instead, he points in the direction of an ambulance closest to the burning mall.

You had never been more scared in your life.

Stories of the Upside Down had haunted you ever since you found out about the other world under Hawkins, but they had been just that, stories. Then a couple of days ago Dustin showed up at Scoops Ahoy with some Russian code and things quickly evolved from there.

You were convinced you were going to die when the Russians took you, Robin, and Steve as prisoners. You were convinced you were going to die when they chased you around the mall. You were convinced you were going to die when Billy showed up out of nowhere, followed closely by what the kids called a Mind Flayer.

Despite all of the events from the last few days, by some heavenly miracle and thanks to a lot of dumb luck, you survived.

Well, most of you.

Your eyes dart to Max. She’s resting her head on Lucas’ shoulder, patiently waiting for her mom to arrive on the scene. You swallow thickly at the memory of the young girl screaming over Billy’s lifeless body. You can feel her pain. You can feel all of their pain.

Especially Eleven’s.

Your focus shifts to the girl that saved you all. She’s wrapped up in a police blanket, Mike and Will by her side. She seems frozen. The boys are trying to talk to her, but she’s blanking them out completely. It’s not until Joyce approaches that the young brunette displays some sort of emotion. Throwing her arms around the woman’s neck, you can see her start to cry. No girl deserves to lose her dad. Especially not the way she did. You unfortunately had that in common now.

Sliding your arms into the jacket you were given by one of the fire fighters, you stand, about to walk towards Eleven. You're thinking you can hug her. Tell her you're here for her 'cause there’s nothing that brings people closer than shared trauma. But before you can do any of that, someone steps in front of you, blocking your view.

You lift your gaze.

“Jesus Christ, I’m so glad you’re okay.” Eddie breathes.

In a flash, his arms are wrapped around your waist. You return the hug instantly, squeezing him tight while your fingertips tangle themselves in his bouncy curls. You take a moment to inhale his musky scent. The thought of why he’s here crosses your mind, but you shove past it because at the end of the day, you’re simply glad he is.

The two of you couldn’t possibly be any closer, yet you're tugging at each other’s clothes and limbs as if you were trying to become one. His ring-clad fingers are digging into your flesh while you push your body further into his chest. You can feel his heart beating against you and you're convinced he can feel yours too.

“Fuck, princess, you have no idea…” he whispers in your ear, the remainder of his sentence fading into the night. “I thought I lost you. For real.”

“I’m right here,” you murmur into his hair. You didn’t entirely feel like yourself, understandably so, but you knew in your soul Eddie needed to hear those words.

He pulls back slightly and gently cups your face in his hands. “I don’t know about you, but pretending to hate you has been absolutely exhausting.”

The admission lingers in the air between you, causing a smile to tug at your lips.

“I missed you so much, princess.”

“I missed you too, Eds.”

Corners of his mouth also tip upwards into a timid smile He proceeds to take in a deep breath, his thumbs caressing along your jawline.

“I-I read your letters,” he admits then lets out a soft chuckle, “Actually, full transparency, I re-read them maybe fifty-six times, if not more.”

Your own smile grows wider ‘cause suddenly everything feels okay again.

“You’re bluffing.”

Eddie proceeds to lift one hand. “Cross my heart,” he says, mimicking his words.

“Those letters are all I have— had of you. I know I acted quite unfairly considering everything you were going through. I know I said some harsh things. Those letters you left me, they made me realise just how much I need you in my life and I should have told you that the last time we stood in this parking lot, if not sooner. I’m sorry, princess,” he pauses, “For everything.”

“I’m sorry too, Eddie.” You express, “I’ve been acting really selfishly since, and even at the funeral.”

But he shakes his head and intertwines his fingers with yours.

“Sweetheart, you have every damn right to be selfish. Losing someone important to you like that… Hell, if I lost you, I would probably burn this whole town to the ground in my grief.”

He grimaces and briefly looks around. “Sorry. Burn is probably the wrong choice of words in this instance, but you get my point.”

The chuckle that escapes your lips is soft.

“It’s okay, Eddie. I-I.. I’m just really glad you came, that you’re here. Suddenly this whole thing doesn’t seem so bad anymore.”

“And I’m glad you’re okay, “ he states and hugs you again, placing a delicate kiss on your crown.

The two of you stand there for a moment, embracing one another. Your hands have since moved to his back, under his black t-shirt. The feeling of his soft skin under your palms is so soothing, you almost forget where you are and the circumstances surrounding your situation.

It’s damn near perfect, hiding from the world in his embrace. And you think perhaps you love him more than before, if that’s even possible considering how much time you spent apart.

“Can I ask you one more thing?” Eddie asks, breaking the spell as well as the hug. He pulls back although his hold on you doesn’t end because he takes your hand.

“Anything.”

The metalhead nervously scratches the back of his neck.

“This is really stupid and it’s seriously not the time to be asking you this, but I just gotta know. Shit. Did you mean what you said in those letters? What you wrote about me?”

You suck in your bottom lip between your teeth. Eddie senses your apprehension because he’s quick to add, “It’s no big deal. I-I was just curious.”

Squeezing his hand, you exhale softly.

“Every word, Eds.”

Eddie fails to conceal a smile. He swings an arm around your shoulder, hand still holding your own, and as the two of you wander back towards his van, you know for sure your feelings for him have only grown stronger — despite everything that’s happened.

You love him with every fibre of your being, though that’ll continue to remain unspoken, for now.

The crossed out lines on your unsent letters being the only tangible proof.

pearl masterlist | main masterlist

& tagging some cool people that expressed interest in this lil series: @cactusangie , @spenciesprincess , @capitanostella , @ashlynnkennedy , @ms1oftheboys

#eddie munson #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fix it fic #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x best friend reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson best friend #bestfriend!eddie #pearl (eddies version)

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fandom-imagines · 1 year

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Best friend

Fandom: Until Dawn

Pairing: Josh Washington x Reader

Words: 857

Warnings: None

Is the Until Dawn fandom dead? Potentially. Will I write for it anyway? Absolutely!

Josh Washington, for as long as I could remember, had always been my best friend.

We met in third grade when my brother, Chris, also met him. Chris introduced us both and we instantly clicked, something that never went away, even as we aged. He was, for lack of a better word, my soulmate, or maybe that was just my crush on him talking.

He was charming, cute, and overall, just a genuine person; could anyone blame me for catching feelings for him? I didn’t expect nor want it to happen, but as we grew into teens, I couldn’t help it. Of course, my friendship with him extended to a friendship with the twins who were also close friends of mine, and also with Josh and Chris’s friends who I now called my own. I loved them all, but none as much as I did with Josh.

My parents were never particularly fond of the man, saying that he was a bad influence with all his pranks, doing the same with Chris, but neither of us cared. He was a good friend, and nothing could change that, even if he did prank us at least twice a month.

In fact, that leads us to where I was right now: covered in water after I was bombarded by water balloons from my brother and my crush.

“You idiots!” I laughed, clearly not meaning the words, despite me being drenched head-to-toe in freezing cold water. They soon joined in with the laughter, growing louder and louder as they stared at me. “I’m freezing.” A pout on my lips was evident as I spoke.

Josh shook his head, still chuckling as he tossed me a towel. “There you go, you know where the bathroom is, go get cleaned up.”

“I didn’t want to give you a towel, but Josh thought we better,” Chris smirked, something which only grew as he noticed the blush quickly darting onto my cheeks; it was clear that he knew of my feelings for the man.

“Screw you, Chris. I’m going for a shower.” I said, shaking my head as I left the room, leaving the pair laughing behind me.

Soon after my shower, I was seated beside Josh and opposite Chris with a warm drink in our hands. It was nice, sitting with the two people I held dearest to my heart whilst we chuckled at a bad movie Josh had put on, a horror, I think.

Chris was soon to fall asleep after finishing his drink, clearly not interested in the movie, either that, or he was exhausted which was also quite possible with the blonde.

“You okay?” Josh whispered to me, trying his best to not wake Chris. “You’ve been quiet all day. Did the prank upset you?”

I smiled slightly, turning to face him. “No, Josh, I’m fine. Just thinking.”

“About what?”

I didn’t want to tell the truth, I couldn’t. How was I supposed to tell him that the reason I was so distracted was because of him. The way he smiled, laughed, even cared for me, despite pranking me earlier on. It was all becoming too much for me to handle and I wasn’t sure how much longer that I could go without exposing my feelings. Chris already knew and he was often oblivious to others feelings, especially with his mutual crush on Ashley.

“A lot of thing,” I admitted, keeping it vague and hoping he wouldn’t ask for more information. However, it wasn’t my lucky day and he raised an eyebrow in a questioning manner.

“You can tell me,” he said.

No, Josh, I can’t, was the first thing to go through my mind. Not about this.

Sensing my silence, he did the typical Josh thing that he knew would get me to cave: puppy eyes.

With a sigh, I spoke. “Promise you won’t judge?”

“I promise,”

Another sigh, “I… like someone,”

Josh’s eyes widened, only for a moment. “Oh…” His voice had an underlying emotion, one I had never heard from his before and something that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. “Who is it?” He asked, seemingly pleading once again.

I simply remained silent, all whilst my head screamed his name.

“I won’t judge, I swear,” he pleaded again. “Even if it is someone really stupid.”

“Depends if you’re stupid,” the words left my lips before I could stop them, my eyes immediately widening as I realised my mistake.

“Me…?”

“Shit, sorry,” I sighed, pulling away from him, only to have my hand grabbed, preventing me from moving.

“Don’t move…. Please.”

“Are you sure?”

“Never been surer of anything in my life.” He said, face leaning forward towards me. “Stay still.” He whispered, pausing for a moment before pressing his lips against mine.

It was as though my body went into autopilot, immediately kissing him back as my hand landed on his neck, his going to my waist. I could have stayed like that forever, and perhaps I would have had a voice not broken the moment.

“Finally!!” Chris laughed.

Josh and I pulled away from one another, a blush on both our cheeks.

“Chris!”

#until dawn #until dawn x reader #until dawn imagine #until dawn imagines #until dawn fanfiction #until dawn fanfic #until dawn one shot #until dawn josh #until dawn josh washington #Josh Washington #Josh Washington x reader #Josh Washington imagine #Josh Washington imagines #Josh Washington fanfic #Josh Washington fanfiction #Josh Washington one shot

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moiraineswife · 8 months

Text

Moiraine And Lan - The Inability To Communicate Trauma

Hello friends. It has been quite some time. Quite some time since I have: absolutely lost all my fucking shit over my blorbos at great length via a long and quotation filled tumblr meta. Fear not: the status quo of the universe returns, and I am once again: back on my bullshit (literally hours before the next episode airs and this gets drowned/replaced with New Content. Because I’m smart like that). ANYWAY.

Today we’re going to discuss: Mo and Lan and the singular moron-flavoured braincell they share, bond or no bond. More seriously, however: I’ve noticed a few bits of commentary/takes/analysis of the current state of their…well state, let’s be frank here, and realised that my contrary ass has: Different Opinions. So I figured I’d share them. Bc that’s what I do.

(Obligatory disclaimer that there is no right or wrong way to interpret something - that’s why it’s an interpretation, and this is not a call out or a “oh wow you’re wrong and here’s why!!!!” post directed at anyone or anything. Just my observation that I am going against the grain of what I’ve seen and thus throwing out: a new chew toy for us to gnaw on).

Also: please do note that this post will cover, rather extensively/in-depth, the trauma arc that Lan and Moiraine are going through at the moment and will contain trigger warnings for: depression, PTSD, trauma response, rape (in the context of the analogy that Verin presented), suicide, suicidal ideation, suicidal attempt (again: all in the context of the show/previous events), and everything related to the topics that have been raised in the first two episodes for these characters. Be safe and tap out if you need to!

So. Obligatory wiffle aside: what shall we discuss? In a nutshell (bc I’m real good at that) I’m covering how, as I see it/am fascinated by it: the responses that they’re having to each other at the moment are mirrors/insights into the responses that they’re each having to the recent traumas that they’ve both suffered. In more depth/the points where I think I differ from the norm we’re going to cover:

1)-why Lan is: not an idiot, actually. I see it as him being still perfectly capable of READING/understanding Moiraine without the bond; what he’s having difficulty with is COMMUNICATING with her without the bond

2)- that Moiraine is actually: ALSO failing dismally at communicating with Lan, and that she’s doing: a real fucking bad job of manipulating him. (is she HURTING him? Yes. 100%. Is she MANIPULATING him into doing what she wants? Given that she clearly wants nothing more than for him to: leave her, and that after 5 solid months he has: not left, I’m just going to put out the idea that maybe she’s not quite meeting her all of her targets in this area.

3)- wow they’re both doing incredibly stupid things, and they’re doing them for the same incredibly stupid reasons, and they are, in fact: INCREDIBLY THE SAME. See: singular moron-flavoured brain cell. This manifests slightly differently, due to their own individual traumas influencing the specifics of their actions/thought processes - but the general underlying thesis is the same for both.

The TL;DR here is that: these weirdos still know each other, and love each other, and understand each other without their bond. Can they communicate any of what they want to communicate in any kind of effective way? No. No they cannot. They BOTH suck. (I say that with legitimately all the love in the world).

So. Let’s start with Lan. Purely because I think my takes on him are the most Spicy/differ the most from everyone else’s and, let’s be honest, everything here feeds into everything else and this is going to get complicated where I start SO. Drama first. (I think it’s what they would want).

Okay so first and foremost I want to try and establish/explain what I mentioned at the outset of this thing which is: Lan is not blind, he’s not stupid, and he is not suddenly completely and utterly incapable of understanding a single feel that Moiraine feels if he can’t feel it with her via bond.

The largest and most obvious piece of evidence for this feels like the best one to start with and, for me, this is the fact that: HE DIRECTLY AND COMPLETELY CALLS HER OUT ON HER BULLSHIT, TO HER FACE, TWICE!!!

“Don’t smile at me. You can shut me out, try to drive me away, but don’t you dare smile at me. As though everything is fine. As though you don’t know exactly what you’re doing.”

This is from episode 1, where he finally snaps at her after she gives him that fake ass little smile and is like ‘is an aes sedai not allowed her secrets’ when he tries to talk to her/get her to explain: literally anything to him. And THAT is what pushes him over the edge.

She has been cold. She has been dismissive. She has flat out ignored him like he’s not even present. He has taken it all. Not happily, and with obvious frustration, but he hasn’t said a peep. Not when she gives him one brusque, dismissive one-word orders (“door”) like a dog. Or when she deliberately turns away from him and refuses to so much as look at them - he endures all of that and just takes it and let’s her do it. Because he understands that this is her current expression of: not being fine.

If she WAS fine, she would not be doing these things, and he knows that, and I think sees it as something like a storm to weather? It is something that will pass (he hopes) if he has the patience and the strength to wait it out. When she smiles at him? When she tries to make a JOKE out of what she’s doing? Out of the secrets that she’s been keeping from him - secrets like the fact that she was planning on going to the Eye of the World to die without him - THAT is not acceptable. She’s smiling at him and trying to joke with him as though they’re still capable of that - as though they can still tease each other the way they did, as though things are fine, both in herself, and between them, and they are NOT. When she’s treating him like a slave, or a stranger, or an annoyance - that is strangely better - because it’s this unspoken acknowledgement/agreement (the only one they’ve been able to achieve) that this is because things are not fine. She treats him badly because she’s not fine, he KNOWS she’s treating him badly because she’s not fine - is a strange kind of shared truth. Like sarcasm - something said/done where both parties know that the meaning/intent is completely different. Smiling, joking, pretending she’s fine? That is an insult, because he knows damn well she is NOT in that place.

Okay, so let’s look at the second instance of this, which occurs in episode 2 (oh how quaint) and is as follows:

L: “Then tell me! You and I have walked this path together. Every step, every choice, every sacrifice.”

M: “We have never walked this path together. You have never seen the forest for the trees because I have never shown it to you.”

L: “I know what you’re trying to do. You can’t push me away.”

Again, as with the previous scene, he tries to get her to talk to him, to stop keeping secrets from him, to share this with her and let him help her carry her burdens the way they always have. She puts him walls, she, again, tries to force distance - she tells him that they have never been together as he says. And he calls her out. AGAIN. He knows what she’s trying to do. It hasn’t changed. She’s still just doing the same thing she’s been doing from the start of episode 1 - trying to force him away, because she’s desperate, and she’s suffering, and she doesn’t have anything else but this - even if he knows what she’s doing, even if it hasn’t worked so far.

Both of them are guilty of this - both of them get one idea stuck in their minds of how to handle this situation/how to fix everything, and they both refuse to change. They both dig their heels in, plant their stakes, pick their hills to die on, and are refuse to budge for love, money, or common sense. For Lan it’s in trying to get her to talk, to open up, to push back on the destructive coping mechanisms she’s got - trying to force her to include him, tying to force her to include herself and come to dinner with them etc. For Mo it’s this: it’s pushing him away, because she is no longer worthy of him (and believes she never was) and protecting him.

(to continue this: unhinged adventure, pls continue under the cut!)

So she commits to this, even if she honestly knows it probably won’t work now, either. (she empties her entire quiver on him in this scene, and the atomic bomb she had in her back pocket too for good measure. These things she’s been holding back in reserve, the last cards to play - that she misled him about Rand’s death, that she has discovered they (and notice that she still says “we” when she talks about this - even though she went to the Eye alone, even though she made that choice alone, even though she rejects the idea that they have been together on this quest, as he says - when she is not actively choosing every word to hurt him, she thinks of them and what they’ve done as an unconscious “we” and a unit) have freed Ishamael/possibly other Forsaken - one after the other, meant to just overwhelm him and be the final coup de grace. And it STILL doesn’t work. She unleashes everything she has on him and he STILL insists that he’s not leaving her. And it’s because he knows - as he just said - what she’s doing, and why. And he will not let her. And he says that to her “I’m not letting you walk away from me again” - because the last time he did: she went to the Eye to get herself killed. And it’s only by some miracle and twist of cruelty that she was left alive to suffer instead.

Also I’m going to take a brief sidebar here, before we move on to Further Evidence/thoughts on this. But I think that it’s really important to consider LAN’S trauma in what he’s doing and why? Like, I think people are doing this for Mo already? They recognise that she wouldn’t be behaving this way if she 1)- wasn’t trying to protect Lan (her intention) and 2)- wasn’t suffering the effects of her trauma/being cut off from the Power at the Eye. Lan is a little less obvious (both in that his trauma is not a single fixed point/event that’s very obvious and easy to refer back to; and that he’s a bit less blunt Lan Mo’s “brick to the face” techniques and motivations) but, as I said at the start: his reactions to Mo are a direct reflection/window into his own trauma responses.

So, as I just mentioned - Lan is SO adamant about not leaving Moiraine, not giving her the opportunity to distance them/push him away - because the last time she did that, in just nudging him, like, an inch to the left, she used that to mask their bond and skip off into the Blight to go get herself killed with Rand. And there is: no doubt, and no question, and no room for wiggling or negotiation on this. They BOTH were FULLY aware that that was a suicide mission. The first thing he says to her when he finds her is “you’re alive” - because he was sure that history was repeating on him.

Because I think that it’s very important to not just consider Mo’s actions here, I think it’s important to remember Lan’s experience with Stepin as well. The two played out very similarly for him/parallel each other almost exactly. They both talked to him about Nynaeve, encouraging him to seek a love and a life with her. They both manipulated him/the circumstances to make it impossible for him to try and protect them - Stepin by drugging him, and Moiraine by masking the bond so he was unable to sense her, so that they could leave him. They both had clear plans and intentions - and both of their ultimate goals was for it to end in their death (obviously the REASONS behind this are very different - Mo was trying to save the world; while Stepin’s had already ended). But in both cases, Lan wakes up alone, realising that they’ve left him, realising, instantly, what they intend to do and in both cases: he was too late and he feels that he failed. Stepin he finds dead - and the only reason that he DOESN’T find that has happened to Mo is not because of something he did, it’s not because he got to her in time, it’s not because he protected her, it’s not because HE did anything at all - it’s just because some whim of cruelty decided to spare her. And these two events happen within, like, a week of each other I want to say? Like that’s…That’s an incredibly damaging and traumatising thing to go through ONCE - but back to back? How guilty must he have felt? How ANGRY with himself? Because how could he not have learned? How could he have let this happen AGAIN?

Of course he’s terrified now. Of course he’s terrified that if he leaves she’s going to die. Of course he refuses - past the point of any sense or reason - to just back down and leave. He is certain that if he does it will mean the death of the person that he loves the most in this world. And it will be HIS fault. She’s being cruel to him, she’s pushing him away, she’s ignoring him, she’s ordering him around, she’s deliberately pushing every button he’s got, and stabbing her knife in every sensitive spot she’s discovered over the last twenty years. And what kind of weak, selfish, useless person would he be to let that be all it takes for him to just say ‘well fine, I’ll just abandon you and let you kill yourself without me’. He cannot fail again. He WILL NOT fail again. He has been here, history is repeating on him again and he will not let it. Whatever she says to him. However she hurts him. Whatever he has to endure to weather this storm with her he will. Because none of this pain even comes CLOSE to what it will be like if he leaves her and she hurts herself and that is entirely his fault.

(Note: I do not actually think that Moiraine is actively suicidal at this point. As Verin notes - she chooses to fight every day. She wakes up, she fills her buckets, she puts one foot in front of the other and she clearly keeps going. It’s wobbly, and it’s messy, and she’s clearly grieving and depressed and traumatised - but she is not suicidal. Does LAN know that? Can Lan, without the bond, and with Stepin, and the Eye, haunting him even begin to scrape together the required rationality to see that? No. Lan sees Moiraine as being in just as much danger as she sees him being in and all he can do, all he has left to do in this world is protect her. And so he will).

To conclude the wrap of: the most painful breakup scene in the history of the world (for me and my present blorbos at this present moment in time, anyway) I want to just talk about the infamous “we were never equals”. And a lot of it has been covered, and I agree with the takes that Moiraine does not believe herself equal to Lan (and never did (SELF ESTEEM ISSUES!? IN MY CODEPENDENT PLATONIC SOULMATE RELATIONSHIP!? NOOOOO!!!!!!! NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)) and that is how she’s able to say this oath wise. I just want to touch on the fact that some people seem to be like ‘bro how can u not see what she’s saying DIRECTLY TO UR FACE, BRO!? COME ON LAN. LISTEN!!!!’ and like. So, to bring up a controversial and possible shocking observation: Lan is, in fact: still a human being! Emotions are messy, and logic is a fine and wonderful thing from a couch, yelling at your tv screen, and with the delightful ability to rewind and replay conversations/moments in time to be able to link them together nicely.

But Moiraine has been cruel to him for months at this point in an effort to drive him away. And, as discussed - he knows what she’s doing. He knows WHY she’s doing it. He is enduring it and putting up with it and stomaching it without throwing things at her because he knows it’s an expression of pain and is a reaction to what she’s been through. But he’s also hurt by it. Not least because: even if she’s only SAYING these things to hurt him/drive him away - she still believes them enough that they’re true for her to be able to actually get them out of her mouth. That HURTS. That’s going to break you down, that’s going to GET to you, that’s going to be thing that keeps him up at night and just echoes in his head over and over again and like - my man’s self-esteem and self-worth wasn’t actually sitting up at the peak of Dragonmount BEFORE 5 months of this, like dear Light people.

To have the person you love the most in this world tell you that “I don’t want my saddle to slip” (I don’t trust you to do this for me), to have her admit that she deliberately misled him, that she has actively kept important, possibly world-changing events from you, that she says, to your face - the thing that you are MOST afraid of, the thing that tormented him via Machin Shin, the thing that torments him still about Stepin - that he FAILED her? For her to believe that so firmly that it’s truth to her? Of course he doesn’t think he’s worthy of her? Of course he’s willing to take what she says at face value. SHE CAN’T FUCKING LIE!!!! And the set-up to this is so important, because she goes right for the jugular in this scene, and she does so repeatedly, in quick succession.

So she hits him with: ‘actually I lied when I said before that WE were going to the Tower - I’m going on my own without you. We yote a forsaken out into the world OOPS. -I refuse to explain anything to you. -We have never been walking this path together. -I have never showed you everything, I have always hidden things from you. -OH also ur lil sheepherder dude is actually: not dead and never was, I #lied to ur face abt that. -I am loyal to the Dragon - and ONLY him. -You can’t protect me anymore without the bond. -No, you’re not my Warder, you failed me, and I would be dead in spite of you if not for the help of people more competent than you. -ALSO here’s our good buddy Alanna and I am going to THREATEN TO HAVE HER TAKE YOUR BOND BY FORCE IF YOU KEEP REFUSING ME and I arranged this ahead of time to make this right. ALL of this gets dumped on his head in the space of LITERALLY AROUND TWO MINUTES. Like damn Mo the bloody Fades were less efficient than that.

He has just had all of that thrown in his face - the things she’s been holding back, keeping in case she needed them - her lying to him, her isolating him, her NEVER walking this path with him or ever showing him all that she saw, telling him that he is not her Warder anymore, that he has FAILED to protect her, that she will have him bonded against his will just to get rid of him. And he stands there on the ground, while she gazes down at him from on top of her horse (which she mounted - for the first time we’ve seen on screen - without his aid (which is a GUTTING little touch, because we see him smoothly and seamlessly help her mount a couple of times in season 1)) and she just says, to his face, the TRUTH, as he asked for: they were never equals.

And she can say that because she believes that he is better than her, and we know that, but can you blame him for not quite catching that in the moment????? She’s just told him that he’s a failure, that she’d be dead and he didn’t do a damn thing to protect her, that she will have someone bond him forcibly - and in this moment she just says what he’s been thinking for months, for YEARS honestly, given what machin shin torments him with “you can’t protect her. You’ll watch her die.” Of course he believes it. He is ALREADY taking an irrational level of responsibility over all of this, over what he perceives as his failures.

Adeleas calls him out for this and tells him he’s taking it too personally (and he IS) - he is assuming responsibility for not preventing something as though that means that he caused it. And again: this is a trauma response. This is an overreaction to a perceived series of circumstances that led to the death of a friend he’s had for possibly decades, to the one person he is supposed to protect, who he let go on a suicide mission alone so that he could get fucking laid, who he let slip away from him AGAIN to get attacked by Fades - where he failed her FOR A THIRD TIME. But like…He starts this little conversation off with her by apologising because he didn’t sense the Fades. He has: absolutely no way, reasonable or other ways, to sense INVISIBLE CREATURES THAT MOVE THROUGH SHADOW without the bond giving him the ability to do so. It’s a ridiculous thing to say. It has no logic to it at all and that’s the POINT. He is not capable of logic about this situation. He is blaming himself for everything - every single thing he can think of, whether it’s reasonable or not, is his fault, and his responsibility - he should have sensed the fades, he should have sensed her leaving, he should have stopped her going to the Eye, he should have stopped her from being cut off. He is trying to assert control, he is trying to assign blame and reason to the things that have happened to him - to the losses he has suffered - so that he can stop suffering them. And he can’t. He can’t. It happens over. And over. And over. AND OVER again. The trolloc blade that hit Moiraine in the Two Rivers and nearly killing her. Logain’s shield exploding and the axe handle piercing her side and nearly killing her. Being drugged by Stepin who killed himself while Lan was absent. Letting himself be distracted by Nynaeve while Mo went to the Eye. Missing Mo leaving AGAIN and her being attacked by the Fades. Actually getting there while the attack was in progress finally at LAST being able to DO something, to STOP something - and he can’t even fucking manage that. Over and over and over he fails people and he loses them and it’s his fault and he can’t stop it. He’s been retraumatised by circumstance, and is now retraumatising HIMSELF by adding even more perceived failings to the existing tally. Of course he believes her. He’s just been waiting for her to say that to him from the day they bonded. NO ONE IN THIS DYNAMIC HAS ANY SELF-ESTEEM. LIKE THEY STARTED WITH ZERO TOTAL AND SOMEHOW IT’S GOTTEN WORSE.

Okay so shifting focus slightly for the last thing I want to say about Lan, but still related, because: the problem (for me) is not that they cannot read/understand each other, it’s that they cannot COMMUNICATE with each other. And there is a distinction here. Lan’s issue is not lack of understanding where Mo is at - he sees her suffering, knows she’s not fine, understands she is reacting to the loss she endured at the Eye, he gets that. He’s known her for twenty years - bond or no bond - he knows what pain looks like when he sees it in her eyes. That’s not it. What he’s struggling with, and what he’s frustrated by is that they are not TALKING. He knows how she’s feeling - he doesn’t know what to do about that. He doesn’t know how to TALK about that with her. He doesn’t know how to fix it because she refuses to engage with it at all - and they’re SO bad at this that they don’t even get to the part where she can ignore him trying to talk abt the actual problem, bc she just nips it in the bud and ignores him/deflects him from the opening bland ‘small-talk’ set-up questions to start making forrays into that.

Because before all of that would have happened instinctively via the bond - she feels the bad feels, he knows why, he sends the required good feels back/makes her tea/gives her an extra blanket/just responds without having to think about and, and this is the key point: without having to talk. Because, let’s be real here: these idiots BOTH suck at talking about their emotions/needs. Genuinely think they would both just lie on the ground and fucking die rather than say ‘I need a bandage because I’m BLEEDING PROFUSELY FROM EVERY ORIFICE.’ Because they’re deeply repressed, traumatised people who were never given the tools/language/space they needed to be able to safely and healthily learn to express their feels (but that…is a different piece of meta for another day).

THE POINT IS: we’re now going to turn to my beloved, my man, my favourite, the myth, the legend, the ICON: Tomas and his tomatoes. And by this I do of course mean that we’re doing a deep dive of the scene where Tomas gives Lan some advice after they go out to the (absolutely THRIVING - good job my man) garden to pick some tomatoes for dinner (or at least….Tomas goes out to pick tomatoes for dinner; and Lan goes out to brood in his proximity while he does so. ) But eh. Tomayto, tomahto….) ANYWAY:

So this scene gives Lan a chance to talk about losing the bond - and I think that is important as well? Likely obviously Moiraine is Going Through It here, and Lan hasn’t been cut off from the Power/isn’t dealing with that experience but WE DON’T PLAY TRAUMA OLYMPICS IN THIS HOUSE!!! PAIN IS PAIN AND IT SHOULD ALL BE VALIDATED AND DEALT WITH IN A CONSTRUCTIVE AND POSITIVE WAY. Ahem. Anyway. It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for: QUOTE TIME AGAIN;

“The bond made things easier. It was like a friend walking along with us chatting away so we never had to.”

I think this is a really interesting (and honestly fascinating) way to describe the bond - to personify it and see it as another individual existing between them and making things easier by doing the things that they both struggle to do - use their goddamn words.

“She’s tired, she’s hungry, she’s angry, she’s afraid. Now silence.”

This part, too, I think is really telling. Because if I had to put money on it and pick out the Top 4 Feelings Moiraine Is Having I think I could do a lot worse than ‘tired, hungry, angry, and afraid’. He KNOWS how she’s feeling. He can read that in her still. He doesn’t need the bond to tell him that. That’s not what he’s missing. He doesn’t need the bond to point out what she’s feeling to him, and he doesn’t miss that aspect, he misses the ‘chatting away’, he misses the noise, he misses the COMMUNICATION, and he is struggling with the silence.

THAT is what the bond used to do for them - it used to ‘chat away so they never had to’. A friend, a helper, who facilitated between them and allowed them to communicate when they couldn’t speak/didn’t have the words. We see this over and over and OVER again in season 1. They have whole ass conversations without making a single peep. Most notably in extremely tense or emotional moments - Kerene’s funeral and the look they share, Lan struggling with Stepin’s grief, coming to Moiraine, kneeling beside her, holding her hand - so much happens in that scene in particular. Without saying a word he communicates an exhaustion, a fatigue, a grief and a sorrow - a need for comfort and support - and she gives it. At Stepin’s funeral - the lookk that he gives her, the way he seeks her in the crowd, again needing her strength, which she gives to him through their bond and across a room. THAT’S what’s gone. That’s what he keeps trying to get back.

Because he gives her that same look - that same obvious cry for help and look of desperation at the end of ep 1 with the Fade battle. He is WRECKED he is DONE, he’s disarmed, he cannot stand, he can barely crawl - he NEEDS her, he needs her strength, he needs her help. She tries to channel - she reaches for the power, as she would once have reached for him through their bond - and it does not come. It is not there. It cannot help them. And the words that he speaks to her then echo a repeated sentiment he’s had for her throughout: “what aren’t you telling me?”

The bond isn’t there to talk for her anymore. And she refuses. Consistently. Verin and Adeleas comment on Bayle visiting - and Lan notes that she doesn’t tell him any more than she tells them. After Bayle is gone, Lan tries to small talk, he slaps on a casual little smile and he asks a mundane ‘let’s start the ball rolling on that conversation thing’ question, easy to answer, nothing tense, nothing painful, a very common “how did it go?” she ignores him. He presses further - asks who that person was? She gives him the bare minimum (and doesn’t answer the question he’s ACTUALLY asking) and then he tries to push again - what did she want. At which point she hits him with that fake smile and the ‘can an aes sedai not have her secrets?’ - and he’s not even really asking for much. He’s not asking what he actually wants to ask which is: how are you? Are you okay? What can I do? What do you need? What are you thinking? And this idea repeats - in ep 2, when he tries to point out it takes 8 aes sedai to cut someone off, she snaps that he has no conception of the power the forsaken have - so he snaps at her to tell him then. And she refuses.

They are both FEELING - and their feelings are seen. Lan sees how Mo struggles he sees how she shuts herself away, he sees that she’s not eating, and not sleeping, that she’s frustrated, and she’s frightened. Mo sees that she’s hurting him, she sees that he’s frustrated as well. They know this. But they’re not TALKING. They’re not COMMUNICATING. And at the dinner sequence - this is what Verin, Adeleas and Tomas try to give them advice about - their history is the “common language” that they are; maybe he needs to listen to what she IS saying and not try and demand her to say other things. They don’t know how to talk about things like this - they’re not good at that ANYWAY - but with each other? When they’ve never had to before? When for once, for the first time for both of them, it was effortless to share these things and communicate these deep insecurities and emotions that they struggle to give to others? THAT’S what they’re lacking and that’s what the biggest problem is.

Alright let’s leave poor Lan be for now, I have tormented him enough. On to Momo. This will (hopefully, dear god) be shorter, because people have covered Mo before. We know that she’s traumatised, we know she’s trying to push Lan away to protect him, we know she’s trying to regain control, she feels powerless, she feels helpless, she is trying to deal with something life-altering, something that made her vulnerable and helpless, she’s being reckless with her safety, she’s taking foolish risks etc etc.

The point I want to touch on here is the idea around her ‘manipulating’ Lan, because I usually see this go hand-in-hand with the Lan stuff I talked about already. Largely: how ironic that without the bond Lan doesn’t understand her/cannot read her, but Moiraine is doing it so well with him and i must: respectfully decline to go along with that perspective. And this is (I imagine u know what im going to say now) *inhales deeply* because they SUCK AT COMMUNICATING!!!!

It doesn’t really MATTER that he is trying to open her up/communicate that he loves her, and he’s there for her, and he wants to support her; while she is trying to communicate the same - she loves him, she cares about him, she wants to protect him. They are both: failing dismally. Lan’s incessant pestering of Mo to talk to him is just making her clam up more and more because she can’t and what’s more: she doesn’t bloody want to. She wants to shove her trauma under a rug in the corner of Verin’s study, and then she wants to drag a bookshelf over the top of it, and then she wants to fill the bookcase with books, and then she wants to put a whole bunch of extra things on top of the bookcase, and then she wants to flee the country and forget that any of that ever exists because she does not want to deal with it. And Lan keeps pushing. He keeps trying to make her talk, because he’s desperate, and he misses the chattering of their friend the bond, and he wants to help, her wants her to let him back in, and it’s just pissing her off. Which is what the cottage squad calls him out for (when will Mo get her ‘come to jesus’ talk?? For Fairness? Like i need this too).

So Lan is coming at this: far too softly, and far too indirectly in a lot of ways. He never asks about what he actually wants to ask about. He talks about the weather, or how shiny Aldieb’s coat is this morning, or how nice and red and juicy Tomas’s tomatoes are. He never actually just says what he wants to say which is: “I love you, and I’m worried about you, and I’m failing you more and more every day and I’m sorry and I need you” he pussyfoots around it and avoids it and lets her shut him down because that hurts and, well, he deserves that hurt so alright then.

And then there’s Mo. Who has managed to somehow twist the logic of the universe so that she can say “I love you” by, uh *checks notes*: Not saying anything at all/ignoring him. Or by saying things like “you failed me” instead. Because she is just THAT powerful. Okay I’m being a bit sarcastic here, clearly, but she has convinced herself (based on how her trauma is affecting her) that she: 1)- does not deserve Lan/is not worthy of him and so he should leave her so he can be happy and 2)- she needs to protect him and so he should leave her and go and be safe.

Maybe she tried to articulate this at some point? Sit him and down and be like ‘okay Allan so I know u have a lot of trauma abt, like, being abandoned/being left behind so ppl u love can go do themselves great harm but…it would REALLY be just swell for me if u left me all by myself while i go through possibly the worst things that’s ever happened to me: alone. Okay? Okay.” However I doubt this. Bc, as previously and repeatedly discussed: these two can’t communicate for SHIT right now.

I think she probably made some sort of roundabout suggestion? Like she didn’t directly say ‘you need to leave me because reasons’ but she probably…asked him to go the White Tower and watch over Nyn and Eggy, or maybe go with Perrin and the Shienarans to help, or even ‘hey remember Mat? The little scrungly one?? I wonder where he is’ and he just told her ‘absolutely fucking not’ (or words to that effect) so she had to try something else instead. Which is: being mean af.

So far so good and I think we’re all (relatively) in agreement to this point. But then people think…She’s being successful here? And she’s reading him well - largely because she knows EXACTLY what to say to hurt him? And yes, she absolutely does, I will 100% give you that. Blade directly to the heart each and every time, she never misses. HOWEVER. This is not the actual point. Causing Lan pain is not her endgame - it’s actually just the painful middle step that’s hurting her too to try and get her to her endgame.

Manipulation essentially involves doing ‘y’ (in this case being deliberately cruel/causing Lan pain) to make the person do ‘x’ (in this case: push Lan away and make him leave her), in theory/if it’s super successful: without the person realising that you’ve orchestrated this/making it seem like it was all their idea/decision. This is, uh, not working too great. It’s been 5 months and Lan is probably less likely to leave her now than he was when she started (because he now has 5 months worth of knowing that she is actively trying to get him to leave so she can do the Light only knows what and if that’s what she wants him to do while she’s in this state then it’s absolutely the last thing that he feels he should do - so in that sense this has actually backfired kinda spectacularly on Mo. Because: SHE’S COMMUNICATING JUST AS BADLY AS HE IS!!!!!!!!!! Just. On the COMPLETE opposite end of the spectrum to him. Because they’re drama and aesthetic that way.

And the added bonus content of this is: she CAN do this. She can (and does) manipulate people spectacularly well. Take Bayle for example (god she needed that little win SO badly, bless her and her buckets). She wanted: to see/examine the broken heartstone - but what is she actually going to DO with it? She doesn’t want to put it in a fancy display case or collect it, she wants to know WHY it broke. So what she ACTUALLY wants from him is information. Information such as: the poem. So she haggles with him on the thing she actually wants - makes him feel like he’s getting a win when he agrees to budge on that, far cheaper, item - but then he counters and says that he won’t move on the heartstone chunk itself - which she has no interest in. So she gets her essential infodump poem for a bargain price, and takes Bayle down like six pegs in the process. 10/10, excellently managed misdirection, making him do all the work and lowering the price of the poem so she didn’t even have to ask for it, and making himself look like a plonker into the bargain. Delicious. She CAN manipulate people - she just cannot manipulate Lan (not in this instance/about this anyway) because she’s as wrongfooted as he is, and is scrambling as much as he is without the bond, to try and find a language she never thought she’d need to try and speak with him.

And so if we now consider BOTH of them: they’re in this very weird space here, where the traumas that they have suffered, and the reactions they’re having are placing them in this fundamental position of opposition. Because their needs/the things they believe/have convinced themselves they have to do put them in direct conflict with one another. They’re like an immovable object meets an unstoppable force, right? And this idea reveals itself in several smaller ways - eg: Lan thinking that Mo needs company and to not isolate herself to get better; while for Mo that just feels completely intolerable and she wants to be alone and in Her Space, her study, where she is in control and can pretend to her visitors/informants that all is well and nothing has changed. But I think the biggest point it revolves around/where it’s most obvious is that, ultimately, their absolute overall goal is to protect the other person?

The difference/tragedy of this is that: Moiraine believes fundamentally that Lan is in danger WITH her, and that she has to make him leave in order to protect him. Lan believes fundamentally that Moiraine will be in danger WITHOUT him and that he has to stay in order to protect her. And this is the hill they’ve both chosen as their last stand/thing to die for. So she is going to push him and push him and push him, and she is going to hurt HERSELF by being crueller and crueller and crueller to him to protect him. And all the while he is going to endure and endure and endure and let himself be hurt to protect her.

AND THEN IT GETS WORSE (or better if ur twisted and u enjoy these kinds of parallels the way i do) because: they are both stubbornly trying to protect the other; but they’re also both feeling like they’re martyring themselves/are hurting themselves more and more to do so. She feels like he is being stubborn and forcing her to hurt him more and more every day - which she does not want to do - when he could just go, just let this end, just leave her the way she clearly wants him to! But this will make her stronger. She will be stronger for this, for having let him go, and for knowing that at least she managed to protect him. So she will just keep going - tomorrow, that will do it, he has to break tomorrow, he has to finally break tomorrow. And this goes on. The next day. Maybe the next day. The next–

And then HE feels like he is enduring, and that the pain she is inflicting on him is his cross to bear, and he has to endure it because he will NOT leave her, no matter what she throws at him. And it’s almost a test of his will and his love and his devotion (even though I think he knows it’s not: but it’s kind of become his own little personal quest. Because yes. Yes he SHOULD suffer this way. She SHOULD hurt him like this. He deserves it after how he failed her. He has to take this pain. He has to prove what he’s willing to go through for her, prove how dedicated he is, how much he will suffer for her, how even she cannot break him). And he too is thinking that next day it will get better. If he can just endure, just survive this onslaught, it will end. It will get better. She will get better. This will pass. He just has to prove his strength and last as long as he needs to in order to see that through.

And, to bring us back to the start of this extremely long and rambling essay I present you my final, deeply insightful, deeply professional, deeply ~meta~ thought which is that: they are BOTH. SO. FUCKING. S T U P I D!!!! (in a genuinely really interesting and complex and fascinating way, as i have hopefully discussed/explained - the idea that their lost bond/connection makes them mirror/echo each other but now in a destructive way? That instead of seamlessly and instinctively meeting each others’ needs they are both unconsciously and unintentionally triggering the other person’s trauma and making things WORSE? What an absolutely fascinating take/an incredibly subtle but profound way to show the depth of exactly what they’ve lost/how much it has affected them while ALSO rooting the entire thing in their individual traumas, experiences, and characters - like who ever wrote/conceived of this NEEDS A GODDAMN RAISE I SWEAR) But also yes they are: morons. Absolutely. Without a doubt. One singular moron brain cell that ping pongs between the two of them but is, fundamentally: the same. Absolutely fucking delighted. Can’t wait to see where this goes from here. Join me again in the future for me: ‘wow Rowyn that’s a whole lotta thoughts u got there buddy’.

Also I swear I’m friendly and I like engaging/talking with ppl! Pls feel free to comment/reblog/message!!! And do note that if u reblog i WILL read and appreciate ur tags bc im: one of those Old People.

OKAY BYEEEEEE!!!

#moiraine damodred #moiraine sedai #lan mandragoran #molan #wheel of time #wheel of time prime #wot #wotprime #wotspoilers #wotshowspoilers #rosamund pike #daniel henney #wheel of time season 2 #wot s2 #wot meta #molan meta #my meta #look at all dat trauma #once again pls remember this was: stream of consciousness written with no forethought or afterthought #so no planning no editing no HINGES #yes i AM aware that this is about to get DEVOURED by content/posts abt the new ep but u know what?#i didnt claim to be smart #i just claimed to be unhinged #anyway i had a gr8 time with this im sure you'll all deeply appreciate my angsty insights making this all: Worse #pls enjoy #also pray for the readmore cut #i know this is long as shit #i TRIED #i TRIED REAL HARD TO PROTECT Y'ALL FROM THE ENDLESS SCROLL #but tumblr is: not a functional website

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mazzystar24 · 1 month

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So Buck and Tommy start hanging out and become friends, but then Eddie starts cockblocking them??

Are we a jealous arc from both Eddie and Buck?

Everytime I get an ask I blush and twirl my hair and kick my legs at the opportunity to yap so thanks for the ask anon!

I’ve been trying to work out how they’ll pull this storyline because it went from ooo it’s gonna be bucktommy with jealous Eddie to ooo buck is like my husband can’t have other friends to my husband is stealing my new friend but also some underlying self discovery?

So my current theory is that like it’ll start with buck being super intrigued by Tommy and wanna be his friend then Tommy perhaps starts hanging out with Eddie instead (my theory for this is that it has something to do with the line bobby says to Eddie about not being able to tell him how to feel about the job and Tommy is really scouting out Eddie for air rescue team)

But buck then feels let down from both sides in a way because he’s an insecure idiot puppy and it’s like oh wow Eddie has a girlfriend AND is befriending the guy I wanted to be friends with AND Tommy would rather be friends with Eddie 😔

I saw someone also point out that Eddie low-key does a keep your enemies closer approach when jealous and explained the 911/lonestar crossover with marjan as Eddie scouting her out cos buck was staring at her and she’s this like hotshot firefighter and him slipping in little oh yeah we are basically raising a kid together hints so maybe that’s what we’re seeing here where Eddie recognises Buck’s intrigue toward Tommy (platonic or otherwise 👀) and like does his own jealous petty thing in a very roundabout way that just makes buck more jealous

Now buddie shipper goggles is that there will be introspection about his reasons for being jealous and it’ll conclude with either an “oh” moment or with more sort of stretching it out by sort of mimicking this very complicated jealousy thing where we think it’s toward one then it’s toward the other so what I’m saying is if bi buck is becoming canon they might do it where he’s like oh yeah I’m after Tommy then it’s like nope it’s actually Eddie

I do think overall that there is DEFINITELY potential that we get jealous buck and jealous Eddie which honestly I’m a jealous Eddie girlie because jealous buck just depresses me and jealous Eddie is a petty bitch who I love

like I made this comparison in someone’s tags but like jealous Eddie is like you belong with me or hits different “I pictured you with other girls in love and threw up on the street” energy meanwhile jealous buck is like maisie peters “good enough” or “details” energy that makes me wanna sob into my pillow

#oh my god I’m so sorry this was so long #I don’t even know how much of this is coherent #deeply apologise to anyone who reads my rambling I swear I’m way better at verbally explaining stuff #eddie diaz #911 fox #evan buck buckley #911 abc #911onfox #evan buckley #buckley diaz family #911 spoilers #buddie #911 spec #911 #911 speculation #asks #answered asks #send asks #asks open

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qqueenofhades · 8 months

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Think what strikes me about something like "we can't vote because the system is rigged! Ban the electoral college!" is the big underlying implication of it.

That there is no multiple solutions or paths, only the one correct path and everything else is worthless.

And that's incredibly frustrating because there are two levels of problems with it:

is the utter dismissiveness of anything other than their specific solution, which ignores how any degree of positive change cannot occur with only just ONE idea, it's usually the result of many ideas that lead to change.

The fact that it feels like they're skipping every step in between the current situation to this end result, or actively fixating on themselves having the correct solution, but only by literally getting everything in between completely wrong in the process.

Like, the latter point in particular is like a complex math equation: Just because you got the right answer doesn't mean you can just ignore every difficult step in between, or just assume that all of the WRONG processes become validated retroactively because you stumbled into the correct answer. You'd literally get failed and be forced to redo the problem if you tried that shit in math.

I saw a poll the other day claiming that support for abolishing the Electoral College had now reached 65% of all Americans. Now, I take all polls, whether good or bad, with a grain of salt, but this does reflect a growing awareness that the EC is a horrible racist anti-democratic dinosaur only applied to the presidential election and only used for electing Republicans who don't win the nationwide popular vote, and that there's a genuine groundswell of support to abolish it. See the National Popular Vote Interstate Compact, which could possibly collect enough state-by-state ratifications to go into effect into 2028 (in the best-case scenario). So even all the bitching about how "the system is rigged" (which. WE KNOW! WE KNOW! There's not a single Democratic voter going to vote like WOW I LOVE THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE CAN'T WAIT FOR MY VOTE TO DEPEND ON HOW MUCH IT COUNTS THANKS TO THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE WHEE OLD DEAD WHITE GUYS!) blatantly ignores that a possible seismic change IS possibly in the offing, because people put in the work to make it happen!!! The fact that the EC might soon be superseded or disempowered is FUCKING MONUMENTALLY HUGE!!! It has existed literally since the beginning of America and arbitrated every single presidential election!!! And let me tell you, the people working to make that change and fundamentally reshape American democracy are absolutely not the Online Leftists, whose grasp of civic and political theory starts and ends at "wah the system is rigged I do not vote I am very smart!"

This also reminds me of the recent idiots in my notes complaining that Biden was a) not "genuine" in supporting the striking auto workers, that b) Don't You Know He Broke The Rail Strike (the follow-up where he gave the railworkers what they most wanted with that strike was conveniently never mentioned), or c) that he wasn't "doing it for the right reasons" (whatever the fuck that means). Which accurately reflects their belief that the way you do politics, or praxis, or anything at all, is just by having the Really Goodest Mostest Purest Intentions really hard, and that's it. Like. Aside from the fact that it's impossible to prove why Biden is privately motivated to do anything, we have a long track record demonstrating that he is a person of genuine Catholic faith who has been moving more and more to the left overall, and has been the most pro-union, pro-labor president in American history. So first of all, complaining that "he's not GENUINE!!!!" in supporting the strikers is impossible to prove, and contradicted by actual evidence. But the Online Leftists gotta feel More Gooder Than Him somehow, so.

Likewise: as I said in one of my previous posts about Hillary Clinton: I do not give a fuck if she was privately the most Neoliberal Corporate Centrist Shill Ever To Shill (and as I also said, none of those words means what the Online Leftists think they do). I do not care about the American monarch president's personal feelings, unless they reflect directly on the policy that they make and the real-world effects that it has. I don't care if Clinton killed puppies (or dreamed about killing puppies, which for the thoughtcrime police is equally bad), as long as she appointed 3 new liberal justices to SCOTUS and throughout the courts, instead of the hacks that Trump forced onto the bench and literally everything else he did. In the same vein, Biden could secretly be like "hahahaha fuck all workers BIG CORPORATIONS FOR LYFE but I gotta support the workers and get them their rights so they'll vote 4 meeee" (not that I actually think he is, but still) and hold onto your hankies, children: I DO NOT CARE! Because the tangible real-world effects of that policy that he is working hard on making results in a better economy for those workers and substantial redistribution of capital away from the oligarchs for the first time in a generation! Not to mention, I kind of like the idea that a president decides to make himself most appealing to workers instead of bosses! But for the Online Leftists, if this action isn't done with the Sufficiently Pure Motives, it is Wrong and Bad and Not Good Enough and Blah Blah Biden Sekrit Republican.

Anyway. Yes. That. The end.

#anonymous #ask #politics for ts

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scribbling-dragon · 1 year

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for the fic requests: i’ve personally been kind of craving a grian & jimmy siblings fic that isn’t all like the “wholesome” or overprotectiveness that i see a lot in the tag, sibling relationships can be pretty nasty but still have that underlying affection or familarity to each other because of shared life experiences etc,, i think a dynamic like that (especially in any of the life series with the added stress of being in a death game, you can choose whatever setting tho because i think those two are just Inherently Fucked Up) would be cool to read about if you’re up for it

are you really siblings if you don't try and kill each other on the regular?

summary:

“Nah, most he’d do is scam you out everything valuable you own.”

“And leave me for dead.” He finishes.

“Well, I never said anything about you not dying to something stupid, just that Scar wouldn't kill you.”

“Wow,” he mutters, “what care and concern from my dearest older brother, truly, I have never felt more loved in my life.”

(ao3 link)

(2,080 words)

(reblogs are also appreciated <3)

The sand shifts beneath his feet as he steps onto it. The grains immediately worm their way into his shoes, through some strange impossibility that should mean that sand shouldn’t currently be in his shoes. There’s no way for sand to be in his shoes, yet he can find the grains itching at his feet almost immediately- within seconds of stepping foot onto the first patch of sand.

He grumbles under his breath, stepping further and further into the desert, squinting his eyes against the offensive sun that does its best to blind him the moment he looks up. The sand continues to sink around his feet, grains worming their way into his shoes and sticking to his feet.

It’s Grian’s stupid fault for choosing to live in such a hostile environment- seriously, there were so many better places for him to pick to live in and yet he chooses a desert? The man’s supposed to be smart, or something, and yet he chooses the biome that is potentially the most hostile to beings living in it (other than, maybe, an ocean. Choosing to live in the middle of the ocean is also a pretty stupid idea, but he’s also pretty sure Grian’s done that too). Maybe the man isn't so deserving of the clever title everyone gives him; maybe he’s just an idiot.

He glances up again, taking his chances with being blinded by the sun to see how much further he has to go. Monopoly Mountain still looms on the horizon, a seemingly insurmountable distance away. It feels as though he’s hardly made any progress with his journey across the desert, and the constantly shifting sand beneath his feet does nothing but add to the nightmarish trek.

He begins to curse Grian out beneath his breath.

“Now that’s just plain hurtful.” He startles, twisting to face the new arrival.

Grian’s perching on a nearby cactus, hand lightly resting on the top of it for balance. His talons curl around one of the arms of the cacti. It doesn't look at all comfortable, and Jimmy hopes he’s picking cacti spines out of his feet for the next week.

“You chose to live in a stupid place.” He complains. “Seriously? What’s wrong with a- a nice forest? Somewhere that’s not this hot or difficult to walk through!” He kicks at some of the sand, which only succeeds in shifting it slightly and adding to the slowly growing desert in the base of his boots.

“It’s for exactly that reason we chose to live here, Tim.” Grian cocks his head to the side. “Don't exactly want everyone wandering on past our base, especially not with so many red lives running around.”

“Hardly anyone’s going to be running past your base with Scar there.” He scoffs. He’s almost tempted to kick at the sand again, but that’d do nothing but make him more annoyed at the existence of a desert. He pledges to himself, then, that he shall never set foot in another desert unless it is with the sole purpose of eradicating every grain of sand from within it. Can't be a desert without any sand, can it?

“Or me.” Grian grins. “More than a few people are wary about me after that enchanting table trap.”

“You give yourself far too much credit.” He laughs. “I was the one that set that trap off- it didn't even work. Everyone overestimates how far you plan ahead.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” he responds. This desert really is far too hot, he can feel the grains of sand beginning to collect between his feathers. Something which is going to be a pain to get out once he’s returned home and is safely away from this hellspawn of a biome. “You don't plan ahead at all.”

“Don't I?” Grian tries to sound surprised, raising his eyebrows in an exaggerated manner. It’s done with the sole intent of irritating him. And it works. Irritatingly. Grian just knows how to get under his skin, managing the feat with nothing more than a few expressions and carefully spoken words.

“No,” he can feel his feathers begin to fluff up a little, “you don't. Have you even thought about how this is going to end? About how all of this is going to end? Because I know you haven't, you never think that far ahead, never beyond the next trap or prank you're planning on pulling, hm? What happens when your contract with Scar runs out? What happens if he’s the one to kill you? What happens if you're the one to kill him?”

“It won't come to that.” Grian frowns at him, wings twitching. The hints at his annoyance are subtle. Everything about him is subtle, subtle up until the point where it is not, and you're left wondering where all of the sudden annoyance came from. “It won't.”

“But it might.” He shrugs. “What happens if you and Scar beat each other to death, hm?”

“The same thing that will happen if you and Scott beat each other to death, Tim,” Grian looks at him. “You die, and you move on. Game over, you go home.”

“And everyone else forgets this even happened in the first place.” He says, shoulders sagging. “Everyone goes home, none the wiser. As though they never disappeared in the first place, because it’s so easy for you to do that.”

“You make it sound like I enjoy that.”

Jimmy sighs. “I know you don't. But you don't think about these things. How are you meant to stop yourself from getting hurt if you don't think about it?”

“Isn't that what you're here for?” Grian asks. He hops down from the cacti, stretching his wings out as he lands. The wingspan is far larger than he normally has, tawny brown feathers so different from the usual bright reds and yellows of his wings.

His own are the same as they've always been. Unchanging. The bright yellow remains unaffected by whatever magic forces Grian to adapt- he’s not sure what he’d prefer; the unchanging warning of his own wings, or being forced to adapt with each different server, changing as he moves between them.

“And here I thought you actually appreciated my company.”

“Of course not,” Grian scoffs. “Now, what was it you needed? Unless you just felt like complaining at me.”

“Uh,” why was he in the desert in the first place? He hadn't done anything remarkable that day, certainly nothing that he would have decided to trudge out here to inform their allies of- “Oh! Scott wants more sand, says our supplies are running low.”

“And he sent you to do it for him?”

“He’s doing enchants,” he says. “You know I can't do those very well.”

“Oh I am aware.” Grian laughs. “Your attempts are still as messy as when you were ten, I take it?”

He grumbles in response, which only prompts Grian to laugh more even though it isn't really that funny.

“Sand?” He prompts, when he realises Grian’s just going to keep laughing at him. At this rate, he’s going to pass out from a lack of oxygen, or the heat getting to him, before Jimmy can even secure the goods and been on his merry way back to his distinctly not sand-filled home.

“Yeah, yeah, c’mon,” Grian beckons him to follow, and he does, falling into step behind him. Grian moves with ease across the landscape, somehow managing not to sink into the sand as deeply as he does. Maybe it’s something to do with not wearing boots, though he’s certainly not about to risk burning his feet to test it- he’d rather Grian doesn't laugh at him anymore. “I don't see why you couldn't just dig up some of the edges, why come all this way to find me?”

“I'm not about to die because Scar found me digging up part of the desert.”

“He wouldn't kill you for it,” Grian sighs.

“Uh, yes he would. Have you met the man?”

“Nah, most he’d do is scam you out everything valuable you own.”

“And leave me for dead.” He finishes.

“Well, I never said anything about you not dying to something stupid, just that Scar wouldn't kill you.”

“Wow,” he mutters, “what care and concern from my dearest older brother, truly, I have never felt more loved in my life.”

“Oh, knock it off,” Grian nudges him far harder than necessary, pushing him into a small pile of sand that flies up as he kicks it, getting in his eyes and his mouth. He spits the sand out, feeling the grains catch in his teeth as he grimaces.

He stumbles after Grian, just to shove him back, watching him stumble slightly, teetering a little to the side. Grian shoves him back, as though Jimmy’s own shove wasn't revenge already.

He jabs an elbow into Grian’s ribs in return, digging into the spot he knows is especially sensitive after Grian cracked three ribs while attempting to fly for the first time. Grian shouts, loud and wordless, which is all the warning he gets before Grian leaps at him, shoving him down into the sand.

“Grian!” He cries. He can feel sand nestling amongst his hair, digging into his feathers. “Hey, hey!” He shoves at Grian, attempting to dislodge the avian. It doesn't work, and they simply end up rolling around.

Grian kicks at him, talons scratching down his trousers, no doubt ripping his jeans- something he’s going to have to explain to Scott later, no doubt. He kicks right back, shoving at Grian’s face as he goes to bite him, shoving him away until he’s at a safe enough distance that he won't - literally - go for the jugular.

Grian licks his hand.

He pulls it back with a shout of disgust, kicking at Grian hard enough to dislodge him, scrambling to his feet before Grian can lunge at him.

“What was that for!” He yells, hopping back a step when Grian still looks tempted to lunge for him.

“You jabbed me!” Grian yells back, gesturing wildly with his arms. His wings flap too, stirring up the sand and stinging at his eyes.

“And you tried to bite me!” He doesn't shriek- he doesn't. Grian is a known liar, so even if he does go around snitching on him, not that he shrieked in the first place, no one’s going to believe him. “How many times have I told you not to go for the throat!”

“How many times have I told you not to elbow me!” Grian shrieks back at him. “I wouldn't have to bite you if you didn't elbow me!”

“You shoved me first.” He crosses his arms. His wings twitch behind him, feathers ruffling as he tries to dislodge as much of the sand as he can.

“And? It’s my desert.”

“It’s not your desert.”

“Uh, yeah it is?” Grian tips his head to the side. “I live in it. It’s my desert.”

“Whatever,” he throws his hands up, turning around. “I give up! Keep your stupid sand!”

“What are you gonna tell Scott?” Grian yells after him. He ignores him, stalking across the sand, gritting his teeth every time it slips beneath his feet.

When he does arrive back at their base, Scott is still enchanting, nose deep in one of the books and glasses perched precariously on the edge of his nose as he leans forward to read it, quill and ink set aside for the moment.

He looks up as Jimmy enters, eyes widening in surprise at the state of him.

“What happened to you? You look like you had a fight with a bucket of sand and lost.”

“Grian.”

“Ah,” Scott nods his head along sagely. “That certainly explains why you've come back dripping sand, yet seemingly lacking in it.”

“It just wasn't working out,” he waves Scott off. “I'm going for a lie down.”

“Alright,” he nods, watching his husband go. One of his trouser legs was torn, as though it had been ripped to shreds by a wild animal, or a particularly vicious bush. He has a feeling it was neither of those, though. He supposes he must give Grian credit where credit’s due, though he’s not sure what the man gets out of beating his brother up.

It simply makes him all the more glad to be a single child; he can't imagine the hassle of having a brother that seems hellbent on killing you at every turn.

#juno.writes #3rd life smp #third life smp #trafficblr #jimmy solidarity #grian #giving everyone the REAL sibling relationship these guys have #loosely based on an interaction i have had with my own sister (though we almost broke the tv stand in that fight)#solidaritygaming #solidarity gaming #life series #traffic smp #traffic series #scott smajor #(right at the end)#flower husbands

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