#i feel like i would be acting a damn fool
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I Don't Know Which Way's Home
Chapter 17: Repair
ao3 link, Part 1, Part 16
March 1986
The news has been replaying the same story all day. It should be shocking, sort of is, but Julie’s kind of numb to it at this point. Each year, like clockwork, something big happens. Something this small town hasn’t faced in decades. A kid missing, turned up dead, just to be found alive again. A government laboratory had a gas leak that caused the death of many more people. The mall catches on fire causing a mass casualty. Now this.
She was awoken by sirens this morning. Ruined what was supposed to be a day where she slept till noon. It was spring break; she was allowed to be lazy. But instead, the spring break was wrapped up by police tape. The cause of a whole new type of stress.
Beloved student of Hawkins High School, Crissy Cunningham, found dead in the Munson’s trailer. Eddie Munson, the prime suspect, still at large. The body, found by Wayne Munson, a hard-working man of the community, is disfigured beyond belief. The police don’t have enough evidence to make a statement. But are advising the public to be aware and alert the police of any suspicious behavior.
Julie doesn’t know Eddie that well. They’ve only been neighbors, acquaintances. Sure, he drove her to school a few times. Made sure that she got there safely and was an ear when she needed to rant. But that didn’t make them friends. That didn’t make them close.
It didn’t take an idiot to see that Eddie wasn’t as big as scary as he was chalked up to see. Unfortunately, this town was full of idiots. Ready to point their fingers to the person the papers blame. Since they were already so influenced that metal music was from the devil and all dungeons and dragon’s players were Satan worshippers. It only took one headline for them to believe that. What’s stopping them from believing it now?
The evidence is damning. Wayne worked last night so it can’t be him. Multiple witnesses saw Chrissy leave with Eddie after the game last night. He is a known drug dealer, which most people would say is a step away from murder. His van was heard by the entire trailer park at both their entrance and his exit.
But there was one thing that Julie’s not sure anyone really heard. His screams.
Trailer parks are a hive for nosy neighbors fueled by the powers of thin walls. Lots of open air for noise to travel. It was nice outside last night, so Julie sat out on their little porch with a book. Peacefully reading.
Until Eddie pulled up with music blaring out the windows. Slamming on the breaks before he crashes straight into his own trailer. Right before the queen herself gets out of the car and walks right through his front door.
Julie says she’s better than gossip, but this she just had to know. Had to witness. Two people who never interact, going into an empty trailer. A recipe for disaster.
And disaster it was. Not long after, Julie can hear some yelling from the trailer. Something about waking up. Chrissy not being able to hear Eddie. It just increasing in volume until it devolves into a terrified scream. Then Eddie runs out of his trailer, gets into his van, and speeds away.
Julie doesn’t know a lot about how murderers act, but she can guess they don’t normally scream while killing their victims. That’s a pretty obvious sign that something’s wrong. But the police just brush her off when she tells them. The arrest has already written itself.
. . .
Present Day, April 1987
It’s been almost two full weeks since Steve and Julie moved into the new house, and Steve still feels off about it all. About taking the next step in the case. Passing the point of no return.
Steve doesn’t know what to do. It’s like he’s being backing into a corner. On the one hand, he could drop this and make himself a fool to his parents, to his friends, probably a good bit of the town. Or he can go through with it just to drag up his baggage all over again. Feel like shit all over again.
He doesn’t know what to do.
Then there’s all the other stuff. The looming piles of bills in his future, the fact that they still don’t have a couch. That Steve still doesn’t have a proper mattress. And the fridge is getting kind of empty, so he needs to go shopping soon.
These are new worries for him. Making a strict budget and making sure it’s enforced. Saying no to the kids when they want something, forcing Robin and Eddie to pay their share of the meals when they go out. Even though it was really always him ensuring he was alright paying the bill. Making small stacks of coupons and waiting deals to show up in the paper. It’s a lot.
Steve’s never been poor before. Not to say that he is now. Well, he kind of is. He has a good bit of debt because of this loan and lost a large chunk, most, of his savings to buying this house and the initial furniture. Paychecks are split between bills, food, Julie, savings, and then him. He’s the last on his list of priorities.
It’s all bringing up more issues, as if it already wasn’t enough. He’s always been the friend that picks up everyone’s tab. Pays for the check, the parties, the supplies, the fancy gifts. It’s all been from his money. His dad’s money. Which he doesn’t have anymore.
He knows it’s stupid to think that the friends he has now would care about that. Just because his old friends definitely would have. But these guys, they care more about the money. About the name. What Steve can give them.
Sometimes, it just doesn’t feel like it.
Steve’s always been a giver. It felt wrong to keep what he had just to himself. He never took, just gave. What would he be when there was nothing left to give?
Julie shuts the door just a hair away from a slam when she gets home. Giving her bedroom door a harsher treatment. It squeaks all the way shut. He’s been meaning to fix that, hasn’t gotten around to it yet.
She’s been like this ever since they moved. Her demeanor shifting almost immediately. At first, he chalked it up to the stress, having a new place that didn’t feel right. The change uncomfortably itching beneath the skin.
But after a week went by and it was the same thing every day, he knew something was up.
He walks over to her door, knocking lightly.
“What,” Julie yells through the door.
Steve’s taken aback. “How was school?” he asks calmly.
She whips the door open. “Fine,” she huffs. “That all?”
“You ok?” he asks as if the question didn’t answer itself already.
“Yeah,” Julie rolls her eyes. “I’m fine.”
Steve crosses his arms. “You sure? Cause to me it seems like you’re upset about something. You know you can talk to me about this stuff.”
“Whatever.” Julie slams the door in his face.
It takes all Steve has to not rip the door open and give a whole lecture on how rude that was. To restrain himself from stepping into old shoes. To react differently than his father would have. Come back when the moment dies down and the anger stops bubbling. To be better. To be him.
Whatever he is at the moment.
. . .
Julie tears another piece of paper out of her notebook. Crumpling it in her hands and throwing it across the room, watching it miss the trashcan. Landing next to the other balls of paper. Each one being more wrong than the last.
She should be doing homework. There’s an essay due for her English class in a few days and she hasn’t gotten around to writing it. Too busy with the move, then the adjusting. Now this. The same thoughts over and over again in her mind. All of them screaming that this can’t be happening right now.
Every time Julie thinks she can have any sort of break, another thing comes along just to punch her down again. Her mom died, then she moved, then she moved again, then she started getting better but that’s this whole other thing, then she gets kicked out, moves again. Now she has a crush on one of her best friends. What a great fucking life this is.
Julie tugs at the roots of her hair, pushing her fingers under the tightness of her braid. Hoping if she squeezes long enough, the unwanted thoughts will just leave. She’ll be able to think of a theme in the Catcher in the Rye that speaks to her enough to get five pages out of. Be able to write enough in her stupid notebook that makes sense. Get her grades back to where they were before and her life back together again.
Falling apart is a tune run dry and Julie’s tired of playing it. All she wants to do is go back to being normal. Like she was a year ago. Happy, kinda pissed at the world in different ways, but happy. Where there was something that didn’t quite make sense with the way she felt about girls, but it was easy to brush it all off. And her mom came home smelling like syrup and bacon grease instead of alcohol. Her knew sobriety chip kept proudly in the pocket of her apron. Constantly reminding her what the tips really needed to be spent on.
Life was good. It was normal. It was everything. Julie misses everything.
She misses the way the house always smelled a little stale and like mildew. The flowery candle her mom burned doing nothing to cover it up. She misses the way she would trip on the pile of shoes by the door. And how the singular hook on the wall would always drop her coat so much she started to throw it over a chair. How the kitchen would always be a little bit messy, and there would be dishes in the sink and pots on the stove. The couch that had it’s built in divot made by someone else with cushions that were squished beyond compare. Doors that fell off hinges every year or so and the sounds of the radio flowing through the walls.
All of it aches in her heart the more she moves on. The more she grows away from the place she called home. Having to keep retracing it all in her mind so she won’t forget it. Hold her mom’s sweatshirt close to her nose and pray to smell her cheap perfume again. But all that’s there is Julie. All there is left is Julie.
Julie is the only thing left of her mom other than the picture sitting on her desk. Which sucks for so many reasons she can’t find the words to explain. Mainly because looking in the mirror gets harder. Each time looking a little less like herself than the day before. Not quite knowing who she is anymore.
Reflections almost heighten to the imperfections on Julie’s face. The darkness underneath her eyes, the red dots forming on her chin and forehead. The fakeness of her smile, the way it can’t seem to reach her eyes quite right. Growing into a face that lost its childhood. Fighting to keep all she can of what’s left.
Growing up was always going to be hard. Slowly seeing herself morph away from childhood dreams and expectations. Having them crushed by the cruel realities of the world. Having memories trapped in confines of the mind that can’t seem to be open again. Becoming someone is hard in a normal life, let alone one with as many hurdles as Julie’s.
Julie can’t even begin to fathom what she would say to herself half a year ago, five years ago. How could she crush that little girl’s dreams right before her eyes. Witnessing the pain from the outside rather than the in. Tell her that there would be no princess wedding, or even one at all. That her mom wouldn’t even be there if she could. Gone far too soon. She left Julie far too soon.
Childhood isn’t missed until it’s stripped away. Until it can never return. For what its worst, Julie’s mom made sure she had it for as long as possible. Before the inevitable kicked in and took it away for her.
Now Julie’s filled with hate again. At herself. At Steve for trying. At him for not being who she wants on the other side of the door. A constant reminder that this good thing could only come once her mom was gone. Finally, a house, but without the mother to make it a home.
It’s not fair to blame him, she knows that. Can hear the upcoming words of her therapist as she relays this all to him in the next session. How she’s placing Steve in a box that he was never meant to fill. Just because the emptiness was too crushing to face in whole.
Giving up on the homework, Julie lies on her bed. The new mattress smell still seeping through the covers. She takes her Walkman and presses play on whatever’s in there. Noise blasting through her ears, loud enough to hopefully cover these thoughts. She grabs a pillow, wanting to squeeze something close to her chest. All of her childhood stuffed animals gone with the first move. Another piece of her that is forever lost.
The tears start to form, and Julie lets them fall.
. . .
The next day doesn’t seem to be any better. She insists on biking to school today. Doesn’t really make it a choice as she hoes straight from her room to the door. Without saying as much as a goodbye.
Steve doesn’t push. Thinks it would be best after the outburst yesterday.
The last time Julie acted like this was her mom’s birthday. Where she was hurting so bad that she decided to hit at the closest target. If that’s what she needs to do again, he’d be happy to take it all. Hold some of the hurt so she didn’t have too anymore. Distract him from his own hurt at the moment.
It’s so bad that she forgets her lunch on the counter. Even though it would probably have ended in the garbage. Like how last night’s dinner landed right into a container to be revisited later. Still sitting in the fridge when Steve went to make breakfast this morning.
He’s not quite sure the last time she’s eaten more than half her plate. Too busy with his own stuff to notice her dip back in her progress. Kicking himself that he didn’t see it all sooner. That it took for her slamming a door in his face to understand how bad it had really gotten. Not like he could have stopped it. But it might have helped.
“That conversation you had with Julie while me and Eddie were out getting the pizza,” Steve says while explaining the situation to Robin. “Was that about her mom? About the move?”
Robin takes a second to think. Physically stopping and starting her movements a few times before speaking. “No, it was about something else.”
Something else. Steve didn’t know about a something else. “Was it because of me?”
“No, no. It was just something really private that she wanted to talk to me about. I would tell you but it’s really not my place to.”
Steve ignores the alarm bell ringing in his head. She’ll tell him about it, whatever it is, when she’s ready. “But you would if you thought it had anything to do with the way she’s acting.”
Robin shrugs. “It depends. If I thought, it would help. But honestly,” she takes a deep breath. “I think telling you about it might make it a million times worse.”
“Make what a million times worse?” Eddie asks after walking in. Sliding into his designated spot at Steve’s side and placing a kiss to the side of his head.
Robin rolls her eyes. “You guys can’t be this happy while Nancy’s away at school.”
“Oh boohoo.” Eddie sticks out his tongue.
“I thought you had work today?” Steve asks Eddie.
He shrugs. “I’m sick.”
“You’re going to be jobless if you keep calling out for no damn reason,” Robin chastises.
“Well clearly, I was needed elsewhere because there is a situation that needs dealing with. Make what worse? By a million times?”
Robin rolls her eyes again, gesturing Steve to fill Eddie in on the situation.
“Julie’s hitting a low point again, she slammed a door in my face yesterday.”
“Do you think it’s about her mom?” Eddie gets a soda out of the fridge and sits on the countertop.
It could be. One of the first things Julie said when she saw the house was how it reminded her or her mom. How a place like this was all her mom ever wanted for the two of them. That had to drag up some feelings. Especially since they were now living here.
Steve shrugs. “It could be. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was.”
But there was something else. Either the thing she talked about with Robin or him pushing yesterday. Something going on in school. Anything.
There were so many places to mess up. For Steve to fuck up something that didn’t just involve him. He’s bad at dealing with things. Pretending his problems don’t exist so he doesn’t have to think about them. Or lashing out just to feel more powerful than them.
Steve just didn’t want Julie to feel like she had to keep it in. That she had to keep the war in her mind because no one cared enough to listen. Or that she would burden him just for talking to him about it. He wanted her to be better than himself. Maybe that was too high of an expectation to have.
“Just talk to her about it,” Robin says softly. “She’s always come around to telling you how she feels. She just needed to blow off a little steam, that’s all.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
Maybe was a lot of things right now. None of them made Steve feel any better.
“Hey,” Eddie kicks Steve gently. “What’s really going on? Other than the Julie thing?”
“It’d be easier to say what isn’t going on than what is?” Steve pulls out one of the metal folding chairs from their makeshift kitchen/dining table and sits down. It squeaks under his weight, proving his point for him. “Maybe I bit off more than I can chew.”
Robin pulls out the chair next to him. “You did what you had to. It just happened to be very overwhelming.”
“I’m not talking about that. Well, I am but not really. It’s just,” Steve takes a deep breath. “This case. If I’m still going through with it. It’s just adding more to the pile and I’m now realizing I didn’t really think it through as much as I should’ve.”
“What do you mean,” Eddie interrupts. “You seemed liked you thought it over a lot, actually. Had evidence all laid out, contacted people, got witness statements. People to testify. Had multiple people who know their shit tell you that this was a good case. You checked off all the boxes.”
“Yeah, sure. But I don’t think I’d realized at the time that I might be going to court twice in a short amount of time.”
Steve asked Sarah a few weeks ago what it would take to make him the permanent guardian for Julie. Maybe even adopting her. If that’s what she wanted, he hasn’t brought that specifically up yet. Sarah mentioned something about permanent guardianship, since Julie’s only a year away from becoming an adult.
But no matter what, it probably leads to presenting his case before a judge. Having them make the final decision. With all the things that have happened in the past few weeks, and Sarah pulling some strings she shouldn’t have, the risk of relocation raised a bit. Making this permanent would get rid of the risk. Neither of them would have to worry about this anymore.
“Wait, twice,” Robin questions.
“Yeah, once for this case against my parents, twice to get permanent custody of Julie.”
“Is that something you guys have talked about?”
Steve shrugs. “A bit. She definitely wants to stay with me long term, and I said I’d start asking about the options. I just haven’t talked to her about which one she would prefer, since she’s got less than a year before she turns eighteen. Most of them involve at least going in front of a judge to prove that I have the means to care for her until she’s an adult.”
“And if this case falls through, it might look bad on you,” Eddie connects the dots.
“Exactly. And I’ll have to pay all the legal fees out of my own pocket where I would have gotten that back from the money I won.”
Then there was the reason for doing this all in the first place, getting them to understand what they did to him. How he was affected because of their neglect. Would they even listen? Would this change anything? Would this all just become another story to tell their friends?
They would go around telling their friends how much of a disappointment he is. How he is ungrateful of everything they’ve done for him. How he wouldn’t even be here without them. As if that makes up for the fact that they were never around.
Creating someone doesn’t immediately garner respect. It still has to be earned. Each time he was left, his respect, his love for his parents shrunk. Now all that is left is a sliver so small, yet it still feels like a mountain. Still crushing him.
He doesn’t want to be crushed by it anymore.
Steve gets up, goes to his room and pulls out all of the evidence he’s built. The entire case against his parents laid in a binder. Copies of bank and credit card statements. Highlighted lines of hotel stays and flights books. Lined up with dates that Steve could recall they missed. Birthdays and holidays lost. Memories begged to be made. Years gone.
Statements of the many nannies that he had. Each confirming their own payments, the lengths of their stays. Empty cards filled with not even the signature of their names. Cursive congratulations and happy birthdays printed instead. Hospital records that show his own signature on the discharge form. Mrs. Henderson’s name on the contact form since his parents couldn’t care to show up.
It was enough, it had to be.
He brings it out to the kitchen, laying it all out on the table. Asking Robin and Eddie to go through it. Tell him if they think it would be enough.
Witnesses, one of them asks. Steve could think of a few. One of the nannies had offered when he asked. She would still do it. Hopper said he would not only be a character witness, but also get the records for that one house party he broke up where Steve was caught underage drinking. How he had to drive him home, his parents nowhere to be seen. Nancy probably would too. She could tell the courts how she knew his parents were never home, even if he was seventeen.
It is enough.
Eddie grabs Steve’s hand. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”
Robin grabs his other hand. “If this would be too much, no one would blame you for walking away.”
Here in this small kitchen with old cabinets with squeaky hinges and tile that he absolutely hates. In a house that he bought on his own, for the family that he made, it’s finally starting to feel like a home.
The walls were never what made it empty. The unopened rooms and unused furniture. It was the energy that never flowed through the doors that made it devoid of all life. Sucking what it could from the person in it to make up for the loss. Now, as people come and go, as Steve and Julie live here, the house feels full.
With these people by his side that showed up by surprise. Chose him for whatever reason that he might never understand. But circumstances led them to each other, and they don’t leave. Even when he tried. Gave them the opportunity to. Yet, they stayed. Every. Single. Time. They helped him learn what home should feel like.
Steve is enough. He always was.
“I want to do this,” Steve says without a doubt in his voice. “Even if they still won’t believe it, or be pissed at me for the rest of their life. I want to show up to the court with rows of people behind me, while their side is empty. Show them the real thing they lost was me.”
. . .
When Julie gets home, she goes right to her room. Ignoring the happy mood Steve is in. Ignores the fact that she saw Eddie’s van drive down the street as she was biking home from school. Ignores the slight rumbles in her stomach and the ache in her legs. Lets her body fall limp onto her bed after her bag slips off her shoulder. Filled with work that won’t get done. Marked with a big red “F” when she turns them in blank.
Just adding on to how Julie is already feeling.
What would her mom say to her? Her daughter’s grade dipping. Another new home. Not eating. Slamming doors in the face of the one person who was beside her during all of this.
Liking girls.
She would pull some of her mom wisdom out of her ass for some of it. Not really helping or making much sense, but it worked out in the end. Julie always ended up figuring out something. Got better after some time and picked herself up again. Kept moving.
Time just keeps moving. It’s endless and doesn’t stop. Forcing all to move along with it. Whether they want to or not. Even when life gets in the way and forces them to stop. To become stuck. Julie feels stuck again. Did for a long time. It was easy to become stuck when there was security blanketed around her.
Julie doesn’t really feel like time moved as fast as it did. How it was six months, almost seven since her mom died. And Julie still feels like it was yesterday sometimes. Especially right now. Transported back to the day the police officers knocked on her door. Took her away. When she was frozen, but kept moving. Had to keep moving.
She doesn’t have to keep moving anymore. There’s no goal anymore. No checkmark in her progress or hurdle she has to jump over. Just a pile of tasks that are too overwhelming to acknowledge or unpack. So she lets them pile up. They aren’t important right now.
Julie winces when she tugs off a scab on her thumb. Starting the bleeding all over again. With a deep breath, she forces herself off the bed and to the bathroom. Digging for the first aid kit under the sink for another band aid. Ignoring her reflection in the mirror. The greasy strands of hair pulled back into a French braid. The dark circles around her eyes. That person isn’t her anymore.
Julie isn’t Julie right now. She’s something else. Unrecognizable. To herself. To her mom. To anyone.
“Hey, Julie,” Steve says before she can escape back to her room.
She takes another deep breath, ready to push him away again. Not ready for a talk. “What?” she asks, too tired to even sound pissed.
Steve holds out the phone. “Phone for you.”
Julie presses her lips together, taking the phone and holding it closer to her ear. Curling around herself. “Hello.”
“Julie, it is me, El.”
Great. “Hey, El. What’s up?” Julie tries to feign excitement. Terrified at the brief flutter of her heart that spawned by the sound of El’s voice.
“I realized I never got around to asking you this at lunch, but are you free next Friday?”
“Uh, I think so. I’ll have to double check.” No, she won’t. She doesn’t have anything going on, just wants to seem like she does.
“Would you like to come over for a sleepover? I know we just kind of had one, but I want a better one. And then Max can be there too.”
Julie doesn’t want a sleepover. Well, she does, but not one with Max. Because it would be Max and El on the bed. Because why would they make the girl in the wheelchair with chronic pain sleep on the air mattress on the floor. That’s rude and stupid. And it’s El’s room, so she would also be in the bed.
Meaning that Julie would be alone on the floor while her two friends share a bed. Which normally wouldn’t be a problem. Normally she wouldn’t care. But now she does. Because she knows what it’s like to sleep in the same bed as El and the midnight talks that are kind of really serious but also really nice. The nervousness that creeps under her skin every time El’s eyes meet hers. The pounding of her heart as she tries to get a singular word out.
But she can’t say no. Can’t see the disappointment in El’s face or hear it in her voice. Would rather be there, suffering in silence, than miss out on time with her friends. Which she would enjoy for a majority of it, and could kind of need right now.
“Sure,” Julie says. “If I’m free and everything.”
She wishes she sounded more excited, but she can’t.
“Yay. Let me know as soon as possible if you are free. I will see you at school tomorrow.”
Julie’s slight smile drops. “Yeah, tomorrow. Talk to you later.”
The phone clicks onto the receiver as tears start to spring to Julie’s eyes. For reasons she doesn’t really know why but feels deep inside her chest. A pain she’s never felt. Crushing. Terrifying. A tear rolls down her cheek as she runs to her room, wiping it away quickly so Steve doesn’t see.
But he sees.
“Hey, are you ok?” he asks as Julie crosses into her bedroom.
“Just leave me alone,” she yells with a sob, slamming her door. Right in his worried face.
She can’t even make it to her bed before she falls. Slamming her back into the door and pulling her knees close to her chest. Wet patches forming on her knees. Breathing in stutter breaths just to let them out as broken sobs. Trying to pull herself together. Trying to keep it quiet. Knowing Steve is right behind the door, wondering what he can do.
What Julie’s feeling can’t be fixed. No matter what she tries. No matter how hard she tries. She can’t be normal anymore.
A slip of paper gets slid under the door next to her. After the sobs start to slow and Julie can see things again. She picks it up, unfolding it.
When you’re ready to talk about it, I’m here.
All it does is start Julie’s sobs again. How could she have been so lucky to have someone so understanding waiting for her outside the door? When her life went to shit. When things just keep going to shit. He’s still there. Even when she slams doors in his face and uprooted his entire life.
Without even blinking, he’s still there.
“Steve,” she says to her empty room when the tears slow. Hoping he can hear.
“Yeah,” the answer comes from the other side of the door.
Julie lets out a wet laugh. “When you said you were waiting, I didn’t think it’d be right outside the door.”
“Well, technically, it’s right next to your door. Only since I slid the note, though. I gave you space for a bit.”
Her knees fall to the ground, hands falling in her lap. Resuming the picking of her unbandaged thumb. “I appreciate that.”
A beat of silence. “You’re talking to me again. Does that mean you want to talk about it?”
“Maybe, I’m not sure.” She takes a shaky breath. “I’m not sure how to talk about it.”
“That’s ok. Do you want to wait to talk about it, see if you can find the words later?”
Her head gently bangs against the door. Mind racing to find the words. To say something so he can find the solution for her and the pain can go away. But it all leads to a question so unfathomable that she can’t even bear to ask it. Gets mad at herself for even thinking about it.
She does though. Over and over again. Her mind finding answers she doesn’t like. Doesn’t want to believe were a possibility. Truth is, she will never have an answer to that question. No matter how hard she searches for one. The one person who can give it isn’t here anymore. Leaving an uncertainty that would weigh over her head forever.
“I’m sorry,” Julie says instead. Apologizing for the things she can instead of searching for what she can’t. “For slamming the door in your face.”
“You can slam the door in my face as many times as you need to. Just as long as you agree to talk to me about it, when you’re ready to. I may not always follow my own rules, but it’s better to talk about things before they start to build up.”
Julie wipes away the stray tear rolling down her cheek. Moving to pick at the strands of her jeans so she doesn’t need another band aid. “I think this has been building up for a while now. I just didn’t know it was there.”
There’s silence across the door for a minute or two.
“You know what I kind of really want right now, chocolate chip cookies,” Steve says suddenly.
It’s so random that is makes Julie laugh. “What?”
“Yeah, you know, freshly made, warm chocolate chip cookies. Doesn’t that sound nice?”
Julie smiles. “That actually does sound kind of nice.”
“Great. I’m going to go make some, you can join me if you want.”
She does kind of want to. After taking a deep breath, Julie picks herself off the floor. Wincing at the soreness of her legs from sitting on rough carpet for so long. Opens the door and heads to the kitchen. Steve is pulling out one of the many cookbooks he stole from his parents and turning to a recipe. Starting to grab the different ingredients.
He smiles when Julie searches their cabinets, searching for the mixing bowl they also stole from his parents. Probably thinking he’s had some sort of victory over this. Maybe he has. She’s out of the room, and probably about to eat something. It’s a small victory for the both of them.
The oven takes an eternity to preheat. Leaving the rolled-out cookies on the stovetop. Some of them mysteriously gone missing. Well, not mysteriously, she had a few more than she should. But so did Steve, so it was fine.
When the cookies are finally baked, Steve waits a few minutes before placing some on a plate and bringing them over to the blanket pile that is still acting as a couch. But instead, some of the chairs hold up the blankets, making a small fort.
It reminds her of the ones her mom and her made during thunderstorms. When the trailer would shake with each boom, but not the fort. With soft pillows and flashlight shadow puppet stories. Falling asleep when the thunder was far enough away that it became calming. Paired with the patter of rain on the roof. They were always safe in the fort.
Julie was safe in the fort.
She breaks the cookie in her hand, the warm chocolate smearing across her fingertips. Melting in her mouth as soon as they hit. Giving her the energy to say what she needs to say. What she wants to say.
“You know it was El that called, right.” Julie breaks the cookie again. “Well, of course you know. You’re the one who gave me the phone.”
Steve sits straighter, giving Julie his full attention. “Yeah, I know.”
“She was asking if I was free next Friday, for a sleepover.” Her heart starts racing as the words still stay unsaid. Trapped in her throat, even though she knows he wouldn’t care about them.
“That sounds fun. Did you want to go?”
Julie continues to stare at her hands, unable to look up. “Yeah, I do. It’s just. It’s harder now. Because I think, no, I know that I.” She takes a deep breath. She can do this. “I have a crush. On El.”
Steve takes a second to respond. Keeping the moment tense. Julie can only hear the sound of her own heart beating.
“That would make it harder,” he finally says.
“Yeah,” Julie chokes as the tears start to form again. “Yeah, it really does.”
Steve moves the plate of cookies out from in between them before scooting closer. Reaching out to place a hand on Julie’s shoulder. “Hey, it’s ok.”
“No, it’s not,” Julie stops him before he can try to comfort her. “I hate that I’m like this. It’s terrifying. I don’t want like this to be but I am. And I’m going to screw everything up.”
She pulls her legs up to her chest again, the tears retracing their tracks down her cheeks. Even when she thought the wells had dried, it keeps flowing.
“I know exactly how you feel,” Steve exhales. “I felt the same way when I figured out I liked guys. So much so, that I pushed it down and forgot it for years. Kept pretending that this part of me wasn’t a part of me. Hated myself for it. Pushed that hatred outward toward people who didn’t deserve it. Just because I was so angry with myself that I couldn’t be normal.”
Julie clenches her eyes shut, trying to force the tears to stop flowing. Wanting this hurt to stop.
“There were a lot of factors that made me want to hide who I was, I think. My parents, mostly. My reputation. I was the kid that threw parties and had all the nicknames. Hawkins High School’s poster boy. A Harrington. Any wrong move and I was done for. I didn’t need that wrong move to be dangerous.”
She pulls herself more inward. Wondering if she becomes small enough, the problems will just go away. No longer hunting the prey hiding in the bushes.
“It took a lot for me to realize that I wasn’t-. That I wasn’t broken.” Steve takes a deep breath, clears his throat. “That this part of me was normal. Is normal. Just doesn’t always feel like it in a small town. It took meeting other people like me to realize that this was something I could be and still be happy. And believe me, there’s so much happiness waiting for you.”
“Doesn’t feel like it,” Julie mutters into her knees. “It feels like everything keeps breaking apart over and over again.”
“Yeah, yeah it does.”
Julie lifts her head up, finally turning to look at Steve. “I just don’t want to mess up one of the first friendships I’ve had in years because I can’t stop acting weird around her. I can hate myself all I want, I can’t make her hate me too.”
Steve takes a deep breath, turning himself so he’s facing Julie completely. “And you won’t. El is one of the most loving and forgiving people I have ever met. Well, when she cares about someone. She can be pretty brutal to the people who she doesn’t like, but that’s not the point. El cares about you, she won’t judge you for this.”
“I can get not judging me for the liking girls bit. But liking her?” Julie doesn’t know how that could ever work out in her favor.
“Ok, so this next part doesn’t directly apply to your problem. And I’m not sure if any of this is even helping, but it just feels like it needs to be said and I know he won’t care if I share this for him.” He takes another breath. “But Eddie and I were kind of going through this same problem with each other. Only difference is I knew he was gay, and he didn’t know I was.”
“And the only difference between that situation and this one is that yours was a success story,” Julie says before he can continue. Shocking him. “You two aren’t as good as hiding it as you think you are. I picked it up a while ago.”
Steve snorts. “Yeah, kinda figured. I’m more just trying to say that this thing you’re going through isn’t unique. Hell, half of the people in our group have had that feeling some way or another. And we’re still friends. You’re going to be just fine, trust me.”
Just fine doesn’t exactly sound like anything she wants to be. She’s been just fine for months. It’s kind of shitty. Not feeling like anything important, knowing she should be feeling more but can’t. Moving without really moving through life. Just going from one day to the next, them all blending together. Right up until fine becomes a lie again.
Until something unearths itself in the mind and can no longer be ignored. Brings all of its own problems and piles on top of all the others. Dragging up old baggage with it, only adding to the problem.
Leaving Julie with one more question she’s too afraid to ask.
So much in her life has changed. So much is different now. She’s a new person, one her mom wouldn’t recognize. Overwhelmed by grief. Brought into this large group of people, a giant family. Surrounded by people who are like her. Who show her that this is a life she could have. If she just put enough trust in herself.
If she put enough trust in her mom. And stopped wondering if she would still love Julie the same knowing that she will never marry a man. An answer Julie will never actually get.
Steve reaches out and pulls Julie into a hug. Comforts her the way a brother can, but it doesn’t bring the same comfort that Julie craves.
It’s things like this that makes Julie’s heart ache the most. How she will go through these big life events and never hear the same words of comfort again. Never have her mother’s weight sit on the foot of her bed, telling her it will all be ok. That no matter what, she will always love Julie. Never will stop as long as she lives. And even then, the love will transcend death and continue for infinity.
Nothing can stop infinity. Julie hopes that means nothing will stop her mother’s love either. Even this.
“Sorry for taking your coming out moment away from you,” Julie says after she calmed down. “I know you were waiting to tell me about it.”
Steve shrugs it off. “That’s ok. I was really dragging my feet with telling you, I’ve been ready for a while now, just didn’t know how to bring it up.”
“For what it’s worth, it kind of helped. Made me feel a little better knowing that I’m not alone in this.”
“You’re not alone in anything, Julie. No matter what, there will be people behind you. Whether that’s me, your friends, anyone else lucky enough to meet you.”
She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, whatever. Thanks, though.”
“It’s what I’m here for.”
. . .
The notice from the courthouse comes a week later. Alerting Steve that it’s time to approve the court date. One’s been selected for him, but can be pushed back if he needs it to. But it’s there. It’s real. This is actually happening.
He goes over the evidence again, confirms with Hopper that he can actually witness. Get the files all ready on his end. Then contacts his old nanny and gets talked into coming over for brunch. To catch up and see how he’s doing. Make sure she is what he needs for this case. Which she is. She was the longest one he ever had and was extremely meticulous. Most likely still has her pay stubs after all these years.
The last person he has to call is Nancy. Who doesn’t even know that he’s moved yet. Or that his parents are home.
It’s been a while since he’s called her, obviously, and he’s been avoiding it. Not wanting an earful of her again. But he needs to know when she’s back and if she’ll testify for him. She he dials her number.
“Nancy speaking.”
“Hey, Nance, it’s Steve. I have some things to catch you up on.”
She sighs. “Oh, I know. Robin refused to tell me anything about whatever’s going on. I think it was to force you to call me.”
“Yeah probably.”
After a long conversation and a lecture from Nancy on the importance of phone calls, she agrees to testify on his behalf. As both a character witness and also to back up some of the evidence he has.
Everything’s starting to get put together. Now all there is to do is wait.
Tag list(let me know if you want to be added or removed): @homoerotictangerine, @mugloversonly, @thesuninyaface, @imyelenasexual, @anaibis,
@ilovecupcakesandtea, @brainsteddielyrotted, @jackiemonroe5512, @eddie-munsons-missing-nipple, @goodolefashionedloverboi,
@cinnamon-mushroomabomination, @lolawonsstuff, @writingandmushroomdragons, @stevesbipanic, @sierra-violet,
@steddie-as-they-go, @dauntlessdiva, @mousedetective, @the-daydreamer-in-the-corner, @zombiethingy,
@connected-dots-st-reblogger, @that-agender-from-pluto, @allyricas, @cheddartreets, @devondespresso,
@crypticcorvidinacottage, @queenie-ofthe-void @chronicpainstevetruther, @melonmochi
#stranger things#stranger things fanfic#steve harrington#eddie munson#robin buckley#julie lawson#nancy wheeler#el hopper#steddie#long lost/secret sibling#sibling au#i don't know which way's home fic#coming out#internalized homophobia
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Oh, stop it Harry, you're making me blush. ☺️
#he was drunkingly flirting with this woman#a lot#and although it's slightly uncomfortable#i feel like i would be acting a damn fool#if he was speaking like that to me#like i would be flirting back#but also a little worried about him#but i can help him#i can fix him#i know i can#didi chill lol#girl stop#harry horner#casualty season 1#my sweet alfredo#my heart#❤️❤️❤️❤️#alfred molina
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You know reading vol 5 of mdzs before all the rest (don't ask me why I'm a clown and there were Circumstances) has to be the craziest experience of my life. Because it took all of ten minutes of wwx talking to literally hit me so hard in the gut I had to sit down and listen to really loud music for a while to calm down.
Who needs therapy when mxtx is alive and writing, I guess????? 🤡
Can't wait to get to the actual tragic parts I just know I'm gonna be that "help" frog phone meme
#mdzs#i was really out here thinking svsss would be my fave bc of lbh#and then i finally get around to reading mdzs and it blows my expectations out of the fucking water holy actual shit#and i just had this feeling the first time i read parts of it like 'oh. this series is going to kill me. im not coming back from this.'#and here i am booboo the fool getting my clown ass make-up on#idk how to explain it like i just fucking LOVE mxtx's takes on arrogance#that wwx is constantly being perceived as a show off and an incorrigible flirt and a know it all#how wwx cant always help the ways he acts out the desperation that has embedded itself into his very bones#how wwx only ever wanted to do the right thing and that having been so much of his downfall#how his worth and talent would always be eclipsed by virtue of his circumstances#how he's above needing recognition at his core but at the same time longs for an ounce of good will and positive recognition ->#how human he is despite his brilliance. how he never gets it no matter how hard he tries to be worthy.#like to me wwx is emblematic of what it means to be poor/an immigrant in high places#always villified always alien always wrong always unwelcome#no matter how clever or capable or kind youll always be an eyesore because you don't 'act right'. not 'one of them.' you never will be.#i just...the way he just wanted it all to be over by the end. the way he didnt even want to come back to life. that he was sick of it all.#im rattling the bars of my cage i love him I LOVE HIM i love him#i understand you lan wangji (and i love lwj too)#and even lan wangji too like. the way so many of their issues in the beginning stems from that self-same problem#how lwj couldn't live with his out of control feelings how he too couldn't quite lay down his pride#how lwj was also trapped by the expectations of his clan in his own way how so much of their separation was a form of penance#that the calamity of wwx's loss forced him to reconsider everything he thought he knew about himself and his life#how he was left with nothing but regret. how when wwx returns--lwj refuses to leave anything to chance this time#he refuses to let wwx be alone anymore--refuses to let him hurt himself for the sake of others refuses to just let it all happen#even if it means overstepping a boundary or propriety it doesn't matter--as long as wwx stays with him. pride be damned#god i just can't i just can't do it im biting im ripping things apart GOD#will also say the jokes about lwj being like. 'strict moral compass or BUST.' and then wwx literally committing like 17 felonies in the bg#while lwj is like 'crimes? what crimes. nothing to see here.' NEVER stops being funny. like i was pissing myself laughing#i know its a known trope but by god are they hilarious about it#also. lan qiren how many times do your nephews have to go catatonic for you to stop with the catholic guilt and repression
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How the aot veterans notice that you and Levi are secretly an item...
Erwin
Let's be honest, he knew it even before you two got together. Erwin is a very observing man, hardly anything that is going on in the headquarters can get past him. The first time he noticed that something was up was when Levi started to butt in while he was doing the plans for expeditions, always sneakily trying to put you in the safest position possible. It was always "Name isn't skilled enough to be here" or "She would do better if you put her over here". Another thing he noticed is that you two started to attend meetings late with some lame excuse, he just dismissed it but enjoyed how much you both struggled to keep the act up.
However one day you two don't show up to work at all, spending all day having "fun" in Levi's room and the excuses Erwin heard the next almost made him laugh. "And where were you two?" He asked as you and Levi entered his office, his eyebrow raised. "We were busy." Levi says but he knows that it's not enough. "I was giving her private training all day yesterday." Erwin nods, not believing a single word. "Is that so? And why didn't you inform me about this?" Levi scoffs, he knows he shouldn't lie to Erwin but he can't just say that you two were fucking like rabbits the whole day yesterday. "I thought that it wasn't important." Erwin sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose at Levi's words. "For Ymir's sake just say that you two were having sex and stop with this nonsense." Your mouth drops right open at the commander's words, a slight blush creeping on your cheeks meanwhile Levi scoffs at Erwin. Guess he did not have to lie to his superior officer anymore, the cat was out of the bag anyway.
Hange
It was their number-one entertainment besides spending the whole day doing titan research. They noticed it mostly because of Levi and how his behavior would change around you. Little things like, how often he sat next to you, how close the two of you would stand to each other anytime you were next to one another. One of the biggest giveaways was Levi's hand on your lower back which suggested that the two of you were already intimate with one another. They saw you once brush a fur off his uniform jacket, that was where Hange got their confirmation. For the next few weeks, they noticed even more, on one occasion, you had your hand resting on his thigh while you two were sitting down. It took everything in them not to bug you or Levi about it that is, until they saw love bites on your neck, they couldn't help but look at your neck and that's when they had to say something. "Damn name. Someone is getting it good huh?" You start to cough at their words and Levi looks up from his tea. "What are you talking about?" Hange snickers. "Your neck, Levi isn't going easy on you is he?" "Shut the fuck up four-eyes."
Miche
He is the one who keeps his nose out of everyone's business but even he couldn't help but feel intrigued when he noticed that Levi had your scent on him one morning. "Hmm.." He would hum, finding it strange just how strong your smell on Levi was. So he waited to see if you would smell like Levi too and he got his opportunity when you sat next to him in the mass hall at dinner. He side-eyes you, you indeed had Levi's cologne on you. "Mhh..." He hums again and looks between you and Levi. "So do you two use the same shampoo and soap or?" Miche asks, looking at your reactions. "What are you japping about?" Levi asks, already annoyed that Miche is asking such a thing. "Don't play me for a fool. You two smell like each other. Why is that?" You and Levi stay quiet and the silence is enough for Miche. "Ah, I see..." He can't help but nod in approval. "Well good luck. At least know we know where Levi is taking his stress out."
Nanaba
Now....she downright catches you two making out and it was by pure accident. She borrowed a shirt from you and wanted to return it so you told her to just bring it to your room when she had the time. Bad idea. Levi was sitting on your bed, you on his lap as you kissed passionately. His hands were rubbing your back under your shirt, you moaned softly against his lips. Levi's hands move to your hips and he grinds you on top of him, you get the message, and just as you are about to pull your shirt over your head when. "Name here is your shirt back- oh..." Nanaba stood in the doorway, her eyes going wide as she saw the position you two were in. It took a few seconds to register what happened but Levi spoke before you. "Fucking...fuck off. Can't you see we are busy?" He says, his voice harsh, his hands still on your hips. Nanaba chuckles. "Alright, alright, keep on....yeah. And use protection" "Out!" Levi yells and Nanaba smiles before closing the door behind her. "....I forgot to lock the door..." You try not to laugh at the situation when you see Levi's annoyed face. "Whatever. Now let's get back to what we were starting." You smile as he resumes kissing you.
#levi#levi ackerman#levi x reader#aot levi#attack on titan#captain levi#levi attack on titan#levi x you#levi ackerman x reader#levi smut#levi ackerman x reader fluff#levi fluff#levi x reader fluff#levi x reader smut#levi ackerman x reader smut#levi ackerman headcanons#levi ackerman smut#levi ackerman fluff#Erwin smith#Erwin#Miche#miche zacharias#Hange#Hange zoe#Nanaba#aot nanaba#aot x female reader#levi x female reader#levi x fem!reader#levi ackerman x you
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18+ / mdi
content: newbf!vernon, based off this quote, appearance from some svt members, afab reader, smut(?), suggestive, etc.
wc: 1848
a/n: this is such an odd premise but it caught my attention so yeah<3
masterlist
"i dont get the joke," seungkwan cocked his head to the side in a questioning manner.
"yeah, april fool's was last month?," added joshua.
"there's no joke. we're dating."
even as you and vernon found yourselves cuddled up on the couch, – in a manner only a couple would intertwine with each other – your friends seemed unimpressed by the mere suggestion of the two of you dating.
"so you've been besties for twelve years and suddenly you're dating? no warning, no nothing? not very believable", answered mingyu, staring at you in nothing short of annoyance.
"why is this so surprising? you guys knew that i had a crush on her," argued vernon, feeling a bit annoyed at the way all his friends were currently staring him down. meanwhile, you appeared to be completely chill as you nuzzled into his side, watching videos on his phone and ignoring the conversation altogether.
"i just don't buy it."
"yeah, i don't get the joke, but i'm not falling for it."
"she's out of your league anyway."
seungkwan, seungcheol and jeonghan all expressed their sentiments to vernon as he groaned in frustration, unable to understand why it was so difficult to accept that he had finally grown the balls to ask you out. alas, he gave up as his friends grew distracted by something else, opting to go back to watching cat videos with you on his phone.
this was a brand new change in your dynamic, so maybe it'd be hard to grasp at first. but it was fine. vernon didn't need his friends to acknowledge his relationship in order to make it real. he'd simply continue to love on you like he'd been doing since you accepted to be his girlfriend, damning any denials from his friends.
~
acting unaffected by his friends' constant refutals of his new relationship proved to be harder than vernon had first anticipated. they'd gone above and beyond to attempt and disprove your relationship, claiming that it simply didn't make any sense.
any time you posted a picture with vernon it'd get spammed with comments from all twelve boys declaring the falsehood of your relationship.
jeonghanieyoon: booo 🍅
joshuacoustic: drop the fake bf and date me instead 😘
dk_is_dokyeom: ok u guys are starting to look believable 🧐
sometimes they'd even respond to vernon's stories about you and slide in his dms just to call him a dumbass for attempting to make this 'a thing' when it was clear you two were lying.
from: pledisboos - stop being a coward and ask her out for real
from: feat.dino - clearly fake. try harder next time!
in retrospect, maybe vernon only had himself to blame for this. after years of liking you, he never once gave any indication of attempting to leave the friendzone. his friends had all given up on hyping him up to confess to you years ago, leaving his crush as a dormant subject of conversation. it was quite sudden how you and vernon ended up together, and your dynamic hadnt changed too much, so your upgrade from friends to lovers was likely not noticeable to the naked eye.
however, this did not excuse the damned booing vernon had to endure any time the two of you walked into a room hand-in-hand. it also did not excuse jeonghan and mingyu's continuous flirting with you – they were doing it to prove a point, they said. and the most frustrating aspect of it all was how nonchalant you were about it all, always giggling along with his friends and never backing vernon up when he'd try and argue with them.
this was quite out of character for vernon. his demeanor had always been extremely chill and laid back, never one to be bothered by any outside forces (much less his dumb friends). you, however, were not helping manners in any way. you found the whole situation funny, telling vernon not to stress over it as you giggled over how passionate both vernon and his friends were about such a benign subject.
so, vernon gave up. he guessed that since you found the running gag about your 'fake' relationship amusing rather than frustrating (as he did), then he would just leave it alone. he was never one for pda anyways, so attempting to prove his relationship to his friends was kind of like beating a dead horse.
what vernon forgot to consider, however, was how nosy his friends were.
when it was time for all fourteen of you to spend the week at mingyu's beach house, he had let his guard down far too much, leading to a situation he'd like to consider both a win and a loss.
despite the sheer size of the beach house, housing fourteen people proved to be quite a difficult task, meaning that roommates were a must. with six rooms, everyone was separated into twos, with two rooms containing one extra roommate each. you and vernon always paired up together with no questions asked, except this time you were teased and mocked as you settled into your rooms, all while they assigned you chan as an extra roommate with the sarcastic intent of him keeping an eye on the two of you – "just want to make sure you don't get down to any funny business," had sad dokyeom in a mocking tone.
it was quite common for everyone but vernon to go out and play some badminton or basketball during these types of outings. he just wasnt a sports guy, and he was well loved despite his lack of participation. you'd occasionally join the guys, but would mostly hang back with vernon, which was what happened this time around. usually, you'd simply lounge around and watch a movie, but now that you were finally together, vernon decided to make better use of your alone time.
"are you sure we should be doing this?", you pulled away with a heavy breath, tilting your head back so vernon's lips could trail down your neck.
"it's fine, baby. they're all busy. they don't even believe we're dating, so they probably just think we're watching a movie," he explained as his hands attempted to get you to sit on his lap.
you didn't seem to need convincing as you slid over onto his lap, allowing his hands to guide your hips against his own. even through the pajamas you were wearing, he was sure you could feel his hardness under you.
"fuck, you're so fucking warm," he murmured as his hands went under your shirt, feeling up your warm skin and throwing it off in the process.
his lips went back to yours, groaning against you as your hips sped up against his own. easily frustrated, he laid you down, bringing down his pants and boxers to his mid thigh and leaving you in just your panties, adjusting his hardness so it'd grind itself perfectly against your clothed folds. the wetness seeping from your panties drove him insane with desire, but he couldn't stop grinding into you, growing easily obsessed with the stimulation. his lips had made their way back to your own, groaning endlessly against them while your hands pulled at his hair in a way that made his eyes cross.
"hmm, nonnie ..." you'd murmur every so often, making his resolve break little by little.
"fuck, is this okay, baby? just- wanna make you cum like this. i'll fuck you, i promise. just feel so fucking good like this," he groaned as you licked into his mouth, refusing to entertain any amount of separation.
eventually he reached down to your tits, tonguing at them like a starved man in search of his next meal. he was shameless in his desire for you, having wanted you for far too long and finally having you all to himself. no other thought occupied his mind at the moment. the touch and sight of your pretty body under his own was all his brain had the capacity of entertaining.
which was how neither of you noticed the boy suddenly intruding the scene, screaming in absolute shock at the nasty sight in front of him.
"oh my god?! you weren't lying?!"
what was even more unfortunate was how chan's yelling immediately alerted the rest of the members (or at least the nosier ones), leading to the door being filled by about seven spectators within seconds.
the only fortunate thing about the situation had been how fast vernon's protective instincts over you took over, covering you up with a blanket the moment he saw chan enter the room, preventing all the nosy men from having a peek at the nudity only vernon was allowed to see (and apparently chan too, as vernon had not noticed his presence until after the fact).
however, even as he covered you up, he left himself completely bare, having to take on all their shocked commentary whilst fully nude, barely able to pull up his boxers a few moments into their intrusion.
"no way, you're actually dating?!"
"either that or they took this joke a little far ..."
"man, channie's gonna be jacking off to this for ages."
"how the fuck did you score her??"
"do you guys want a third?"
these were only a few of the comments thrown at you and vernon within the first twenty seconds of the guys' presence in your room. however, to vernon it felt like a whole hour of scrutiny before he finally shook the shock off and began yelling at them to leave.
"get the fuck out! and never look at my girlfriend again!", he got up and began pushing them out as a few of them giggled at his anger whilst some others remained in shock at the situation.
in the meantime, you had pulled up the blanket over your head as you sat crisscross on the bed, likely too bashful to face the situation until your friends took their leave.
once vernon closed and locked the door, grabbing a pillow and throwing it outside for chan (who would not be allowed back in, by the way), vernon sped to your side, uncovering you, fully worried that you might be mad or petrified at what had just happened. to his surprise, you began laughing the moment you first made eye contact, causing vernon to furrow his eyebrows in question.
"baby, what the fuck? you find this funny?", he wasn't mad, but more so extremely confused.
"you got want you wanted, nonnie. there's no way to deny we're dating now," you grinned, crawling to sit on his lap again.
"god, i take it back. i'll never be able to fuck you again in peace. i was just about to cum, too."
"'was'?", you asked, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and leaning in closer, "you don't wanna anymore?", you tilted your head in fake curiosity.
"i mean-"
"they already know we're fucking. might as well have fun with it. right, nonnie?", you grinned.
chuckling at you, he couldn't help but agree with your horny logic. his boner was still half-there anyways.
"c'mere, baby."
#seventeen fanfic#seventeen x reader#svt fanfic#svt x reader#seventeen imagine#seventeen#svt#seventeen oneshot#seventeen smut#svt smut#svt oneshot#seventeen imagines#svt imagines#svt scenarios#seventeen scenarios#vernon imagines#vernon scenarios#vernon fanfic#vernon smut#vernon x reader
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𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐞, 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲
summary: hiding your relationship with rafe from your friends is fun... at first.
word count: 2k
now spinning: freak by lana del rey
author's note: this one put me in a silly mood <3 i love this man <3 so cute it'll rot your teeth! enjoy!
He’s a bad habit. Your worst habit, in fact, one that you hide from everyone like a dirty secret.
At first you’re just embarrassed. You’re supposed to be a Pogue, you try to remind yourself every now and then, you’re supposed to hate him and everything he stands for.
You’re supposed to hate the pretty jewelry he buys for you on a whim, hate the stupid—or something like that— look in his eyes when he puts it on you and presses a kiss to the soft skin of your neck or wrist or ankle, and you’re especially supposed to hate the way he spends money on you.
You’re supposed to hate all of it, but you don’t. In fact, you think you’re falling in love with Rafe Cameron.
Which is bad, so so bad, you don’t even have words to describe how terrible it is. Rafe—who your closest friends despise, and for good reason. He becomes an ass outside of the sheltered, private walls of your tiny bedroom, getting into fights and egging everyone into violence.
He’s completely different, like an entirely new person, and you should hate him for what he does to your friends and goads them into doing.
Hate is the furthest thing from what you actually feel. You’re not even embarrassed anymore. You’re protective, because you know your friends won’t understand, that they’ll try to talk you out of your feelings, and you’ll have to show them the thing that you’re dreading the most of all, that you would defend Rafe to them. That you would take his side.
That you would become that girl you used to make fun of, screaming at your friends because you don’t know him like I do, and then running home, running to him, to feel better.
It’s gotten bad, and to avoid all of this, you don’t bring up your relationship to them at all. What started off as chance encounters and graduated into quiet, peaceful hours spent in each company without another care in the world, has now turned into a real relationship. A secret relationship, at that.
Rafe wants to tell the world, and he especially wants to tell your friends. You convince him that it’s romantic to sneak around, with plenty of hidden kisses and longing gazes and making a fool out of everyone right in front of their eyes.
He buys the act for now, but you know he won’t for long. You think that he wants to rub it into your friends’ faces, that he got you despite how much they hate him. He doesn’t tell you it’s because he has to know, has to be sure that you aren’t ashamed of being with him.
𝜗𝜚
The first time you almost get caught is in Rafe’s truck—parked along the beach, in what was meant to be a cute little date. You pack sandwiches and fruit, freshly squeezed lemonade in a mason jar that you and him pass back and forth.
The two of you watch the sunset from the safety of his car, specifically because you’re worried your friends will catch you if they spot you on the beach with someone.
“This is good,” Rafe says, taking another sip out of the jar, his lips shining with the sugary juice. You want to lick it clean, but you hold off for now. “Where’d you get it from, again?”
“I made it, Rafe,” you reply, rolling your eyes. “We have a lemon tree in the backyard. My parents like to grow their own stuff.”
“Well,” he says, licking his lips. Damn it, there goes your chance to sneak a kiss in and act like it was for some other reason. “You should make more. Shit’s good.”
“Then take me on another date. I’ll make you a whole pitcher.”
“Our next date is gonna be way better than this,” is his response, looking down at his half-eaten, heart-shaped peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
He notices your eyes get big, like you’re upset, and immediately follows up his own sentence.
“Not that this isn’t perfect,” he says, resting the mason jar in the cupholder. “It is. Perfect. Couldn’t ask for more. I just meant, next time, you won’t have to pack anything or juice any lemons, like a restaurant. All you have to do is wear something pretty and show up.”
You smile, giddily.
“You have some lemonade, right there,” you say, pointing to the side of his lip, leaning in for a kiss, just about to close your eyes, when you hear the unmistakable hoot that is your boys, as in your other boys. “Shit-” and you duck, head resting on Rafe’s thigh as you try to get out of their eye-sight. You don’t sit back up until you make Rafe triple-check the coast is clear.
“Y’know, if you wanted to get freaky in my car, all you had to do was ask-”
𝜗𝜚
The next time is a month later, a month of bliss and joy that you still haven’t told your friends about. Rafe came over to help you finish baking lemon squares, but really just creating a mess and kissing you with sugary, citrusy lips and flour-coated hands.
You take turns showering to clean off, because as much as you would love to rinse off together, your shower is not like the one Rafe has in his Tannyhill bedroom, and sadly, barely big enough for one. You go first, washing your hair and complaining about icing remnants, and send Rafe in after you while you dry your hair.
On his way in, he tells you not to get dressed just yet. You sit in anticipation, wrapped just in your towel, brushing your hair absentmindedly. You drop the brush on your foot when you hear three sharp knocks on your bedroom window.
Crap.
When you turn to look, it’s just Kie, and you sigh a breath of obvious relief. You wouldn’t be able to manage lying to everyone, but if it’s just Kiara, you might be able to get away with it.
She climbs in through the window, lying flat on your bed and starting to explain what’s going on—her feelings for Pope and some old feelings for Jayj that are coming to the surface. You half-listen, feeling like a terrible friend, but your heart is currently showering in your tiny bathroom, probably complaining about the luke-warm water and thinking about all the things he’s going to do to you when he gets out.
“Is your shower running?” Kie asks, ever-observant. “Dude, that’s like, so bad for the environment.”
“Oh, I-” your brain turns to mush. “I just stepped out to brush my hair, I’m going right back in. I’m so sorry Kie, I’m so distracted today. You know, I-I hate wasting water.” You stare at her for a second, wondering if she bought it.
“I’m just glad you care. JJ and John B don’t even recycle their beer cans. I’ll come back later, then?” and you nod, maybe a little too excited. “Are you gonna finish showering now?” she questions, watching you linger by the door.
“Yes! Yes, I am. Bye, Kie,” you say, opening the door and closing it quickly, hoping Rafe doesn’t speak up. You drop the towel and climb into the shower, clasping your hand over his mouth quickly. You wait to hear your window close, and then the noise of her car driving away.
“Y’know, kid, if you were feeling that impatient, all y’had to do was tell me,” Rafe says, leaning in for a hot, wet kiss.
𝜗𝜚
It all breaks down because JJ is like a walking metal detector, eyes flitting to anything shiny and new and the questions never-ending, even when you’re glaring at him.
Rafe bought it for you. A gleaming, pretty silver bracelet with a little pink heart hanging off, complete with the letter R engraved on the back of the charm. You try to sneak it in with your other bracelets, the beaded ones Kie makes, the thread friendship bracelets all of you share in matching colors, and you even throw on a watch just so no one notices something new on your wrist. It doesn’t work.
“Wow,” JJ starts, letting out a whistle. You freeze instantly. “What’d you do, rob a Kook and not invite us?” He comes up closer, taking your wrist in his hand and raising it above and below, inspecting it.
“No, no…” you trail off, mind going completely blank on how to explain this to your friends. All you can think about is the soft way Rafe kissed your wrist while helping you put it on, and the not-so-soft two hours you spent at Tannyhill after. “I, uh-”
“What, you found it?” Pope throws in, and you start to nod, even though your friends know you better than that. “Because you should really turn it in, I mean, they’ll get you for that-”
“Trust me, I would know,” John B says, coming around to look at it closer. “I feel I’ve seen that before.”
“Yeah, I bet all the Kook princesses have ‘em and compare with each other.” JJ puts on a goofy, high pitched voice that would normally make you laugh. “Mine’s silver. Mine’s gold. Actually, guys, mine’s encrusted with diamonds.”
“You know how much child labor funds the entire jewelry industry? They have kids mining in caves-”
“But that would actually make sense, Kie, because, like, they’re so tiny they’re the only ones who can just like, sneak on in there with their little tools, and just like-” JJ imitates, what you can only assume, is a child mining for gold with his hands.
“They can grow diamonds in labs now. It’s so unnecessary and dangerous,” Kie says, looking back at you. “We should burn it, so it goes back into the soil.”
“Woah, woah, woah,” JJ says, getting up and putting himself between you and Kie, like a barrier. “Why would we do that? We could probably go get a couple hundos for that thing. Y’know how much beer we can buy with that?”
“He’s got a point there,” John agrees. You’re speechless.
“Well, does it have any markings? Because if we just return it, the owner might give us a reward for finding it.” JJ scoffs.
“Yeah, right, they’d probably think we stole it.”
“Well, we did, that’s like the definition of-” you cut Pope off before you can stop yourself.
“I didn’t steal it!” It comes out like a yell, even though you don’t mean it, running a hand through your hair in frustration. “I didn’t steal it, okay, it’s mine, so can we please just drop it?”
You notice the boys lock eyes with each other, eyes wide, probably wondering what just happened. You turn away from them to look at Kie, about to apologize because you know she’s totally right about the whole child mining thing, when you see her eyes are fixed on your wrist.
“R?” she questions. “What’s the R stand for?”
You drop your hand to your side, eyes shutting on their own as you release a tight breath. You really have no idea how to get yourself out of this one, until a voice pipes up from behind you.
“Why don’t you idiots take a wild guess?” The voice belongs to your boyfriend, your secret boyfriend. You guess it’s not such a secret anymore.
JJ is the first to react, exactly like you thought he would, too.
“No, no, gross, gross!”
John B stares at you like you’ve just run over his puppy. Kie has her eyebrows raised like she’s questioning everything she ever knew about you. Pope’s eyes are wide like coins, fist clenched like he’s about to start swinging.
You let out another breath.
“Was that really necessary?” you ask, turning your head to question Rafe, standing right behind you, his arm hanging around your shoulder now.
“Had to tell ‘em eventually, kid. Guess today’s the day,” and then he uses his hand to squeeze your cheeks together, giving you a sloppy kiss and waltzing off in the direction he came from.All you hear is JJ—gross, gross, gross!
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bakugou katsuki is not a lovesick fool.
he’s better than that, he swears. he swears with his entire being. he’s not one of those down bad people who gets butterflies from the simplest of things.
but as he walks out of the shower, feeling refreshed and clean from his daily workout in the school’s gym, his phone dings with a notification on his nightstand.
normally, he mutes the damn thing with how often the group of extras (aka, his friends) blow up their shared group chat they forced him to join, but things have been different lately.
katsuki is clad in one of his famous black tank tops, paired with a loose pair of shorts of the same color. his towel rests around his neck as he grabs the device, fingers automatically tapping on the notification and taking him to the messages app.
when he sees who the text is from, he can’t even resist the grin thats tugs on the corners of his lips.
it’s from you. it’s blunt, no more than three letters, but it’s enough to have him fucking smiling.
you: wyd
his fingers tap away in order to reply, using one hand and the other to use an end of the towel draped over his shoulder to keep drying his damp hair.
bakugou: what do you want
okay—yeah. he’s curt and not answering your question. but it’s too late now; he already sent it.
the three pending dots that appear almost immediately that indicate you’re typing has him blinking at the small screen in faint surprise. you’re fast.
you: i couldnt find you in the commons area or the gym :(
oh, with the frowny face he could just picture the pout you were probably wearing on your lips right now. he responds.
bakugou: so you were trying to fucking stalk me?
you: no!! ofc not
bakugou: sounds like something a stalker would say
you: >:(
he snickers out loud at your banter and finishes drying his hair, flinging the towel towards the hamper in the corner of the room.
bakugou: to answer your question, i was in the gym actually. you probably just missed me leaving
you: aw man :(
katsuki can’t help but roll his eyes at your antics.
bakugou: you act like you didn’t see me in class today dummy
you: is it a crime that i want to see you outside of class?
when you say—or in this case, text—things like that, he isn’t too sure how to respond. it has him scowling, all flustered for no reason.
bakugou: yeah yeah
he’s sure his sarcastic tone can be heard even through his text. you simply send a smiley emoji in reply.
katsuki hesitates, his fingers hovering over the screen. and then he types.
bakugou: you can join me in gym tomorrow after class then if you wanna see me so bad
his breath stills when he sees those dots again.
you: ok!! it’s a date then yeah?
what? a what? his head is spinning just from reading your text. is he reading this right? you’re actually making a move on him? and then you’re already sending your next message, giving him no time to gather his thoughts and reply back.
you: good night katsuki!! 😘
oh.
he finds himself sliding down onto the floor right next to his bed, cheek resting on the side of the mattress. his knees curl to his chest as he stares at his phone, blushing like a madman.
“fuck.”
okay. maybe bakugou katsuki is a lovesick fool.
#bakugou katsuki x you#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou x you#bakugou x reader#bakugou x you fluff#bakugou x reader fluff#rain’s writing#my writing
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Dick Grayson's talent for manipulation literally brings the world to its knees.
Part 1 post
My absolute favorite trait about Dick aside from his craziness is his ability to control every single person in existence. The best part is, he's so clever in the way that he does it that people almost never notice.
Bart Allen
"Oh! Ahh..you're trying to get my DNA sample. You need my spit! Ha! That's such a Dick Grayson thing to do."
Bart knows!! Dick's brilliantly sly okay. Honey catches more flies that vinegar? He takes it so far that breaks he the ceiling with it because by the time he's done, people don't even know they've been manipulated. And if they do, then what can they do about it? He always wins.
With friends and family he does it to make them feel better without being so overt and discomforting them.
Justice League: Road to Dark Crisis
Jon came to him when he was feeling lost and upset and Dick set up the perfect conditions to encourage him and pick him up. He's just so good at doing what he's doing but he does it for all the right reasons.
But the extent Dick can go trick and manipulate someone is off the charts. A virtuoso.
In a Titans comic, Dick literally spent MONTHS acting depressed and weak after Donna, Wally, and Garth were kidnapped to another dimension by a villain just so he could trick the villain into thinking that his career was over and bring him into the same dimension so Dick could take him down.
He fooled everyone.
Teen Titans: The Silver Age TBP 2 Part #1
"Batman taught me how to be a totally convincing actor! So if the only way you could send me here with your ring was if I filled my brain with evil thoughts, I just faked it! My facial expression was pure evil-but my mind remained pure good."
MONTHS.
He planned, pretended, and calculated every single fiber of his own mind and body until the whole world was fooled by his acting. He tricked an interdimensional being who had psychic access. That means he was so extraordinarily manipulative, he can control his own thoughts inside his head to trick someone else. Voldemort's legilimens has nothing on Dick's talent.
Like Bart, sometimes his allies are aware of this like with Selina-
Gotham City Sirens Issue #23
Selina's literally having a mental breakdown trying not to fall for Dick's manipulation and tricks.
But even if they know he's manipulating them, they still are forced to fall for it anyway.
Gotham City Sirens Issue #23
"Damn it."
Like a goldilocks mad scientist - he does it just right.
His acting is just so on point that he outschemes the schemer.
When the Crime Syndicate (Superwoman, Ultraman, Owlman, Power ring, etc) arrive on Earth to take it over when Dick is Batman, Dick needs to do something fast. But to make things worse, there's a being that's so powerful, that both the Crime Syndicate and Justice League combined have a snowball's chance in hell of defeating him.
So what does Dick do? He runs the game.
Justice League of America (2006) Issue #52
Justice League of America (2006) Issue #52
"Of course he had a plan the whole time. He's Batman. He always has a plan."
Justice League of America (2006) Issue #52
He tricks everyone.
Justice League of America (2006) Issue #52
And in the end, the Justice League wins and Dick saves the world.
Justice League of America (2006) Issue #52
I love how they characterized Owlman as a snake because that would make Dick a mongoose since mongoose eats snakes. And do you know what Mongoose represent in folklore? Action, adventure, boldness, fearlessness, impulsiveness, independence, optimism, rebellion, resistance, resourcefulness, speed, adaptation, agility, quickness, intelligence and wit. All characteristics that define him.
He plays the world like a chessboard, always five steps ahead.
He always has an ace hidden up his sleeve.
His thoughts are always masked behind a disarming smile.
He has mastered the art of manipulation.
And that's while he's outright fighting. His subtlety is just so seductive.
Take a look at the way he smoothly evades answering in this panel -
Grayson Issue #9
He's so smooth. She's constantly on the watch but she instantly fell head over heels for his charms in a half a heartbeat, that's just how good he is.
Grayson Issue #10
He's a master manipulator who knows exactly what to say and how to act to always end up winning.
It's seriously such a shame that one of his greatest skills and talents isn't talked about more because this man?! Flawless.
He's the spy everyone on TV wishes they could be. He's the type of spy people read about in history books and marvel at the ease, grace, and legendary story he leaves behind. He's the spy that everyone knows and dreams of in their fantasies.
Nightwing (2016)
And oh how they so are.
He can just get people to do whatever he wants.
There's a reason why Batman's only contingency plan against Nightwing is "Let's hope he fucks up." Because with his intelligence, skill, power, charisma, and raw talent - he's goddamn unstoppable.
#manipulative dick grayson#dick's honest to god terrifying for what he can do#so thankful he's on the good side because the world doesn't stand a chance with him on the bad#dick grayson#nightwing#bart allen#dc impulse#jon kent#super boy#selina kyle#catwoman#dc titans#owlman#robin dick grayson#crime syndicate#justice league#spyral#batman dick grayson
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I will kiss you and hold you and pet you and call you a good girl if you write a toji os abt him having a one nightstand with someone and when he’s undressing them he unzips their dress WITH HIS TEETHHHHHHHHHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA……….. anyways!!! :3
am i a good girl now :(((
warnings: 18+ MDNI, fem!reader, soft dom!toji (maybe), alcohol consumption, squirting, fingering, face-sitting, vaginal sex, tit sucking, praise, slight degradation, reader passes out for a sec.
words: 2.4k
“Can I buy you a drink?” a handsome stranger asks you as you sit by your lonesome at the bar. You came here with your friend, who has since disappeared since locating her ex-boyfriend. And you suspect he won’t be an ex for much longer. The attention makes you giddy. His scar pulling as he smirks at you, a grin that grows wider when you nod. He pulls out his card and waits to flag down a bar tender. “I’m Toji, by the way.”
You introduce yourself and you curse yourself for how pathetic you must seem. It’s embarrassing, really, feeling so accomplished that a man deemed you worthy enough to talk to and buy a drink for. He’s like a model, possessing a wide build and tall figure. He could have any woman here if he wanted, you’re sure. And despite your inner monologue telling you to act coy, you’re sure you’re a bashful fool.
He orders you the same blue lagoon cocktail you’ve already had three of, and himself a lemonade.
“You don’t drink?” you ask him.
“Nah, it doesn’t really affect me.”
You shrug, slurping the ice cold cocktail through a metal straw you brought from home. He smirks at that, noting that you’re the type to prepare this much for what he’s sure is meant to be a casual night out. And he asks you questions about yourself that you’re so willing to answer. You ask him questions about himself that he answers too, though the responses are surface level and simple. The mystery only adds to his allure.
He's funny, effortlessly. Everything he says seems to make you giggle. You’re a cliché, too, twirling your hair as you hang on his every word. It’s a mix or attraction and intoxication. Is he really so interesting and funny or are you just wet and transfixed by his looks?
Your laughter dies out when you feel a tap on your shoulder. It’s your friend, coming to say goodbye. She points at her ex and tells you she’s leaving with him.
So much for girl code.
Though she does offer you to hop in the taxi with them so you can go home. But you don’t want to leave Toji. You want to keep making a lovesick fool of yourself for him and maybe see where the night takes you. So she waves and you focus on the older looking man beside you. He licks his lips, his scar glistening under the everchanging technicolour lights flooding the club.
“Wanna get going, gorgeous?” he asks, leaning over to speak into your ear. The rough gravel to his voice rushing straight to your pulsing cunt. You shouldn’t, really, should you? It’s not smart to go home with guys you’ve never met. You don’t know him or his intentions, he could be plying you with alcohol to get you stupid enough to kill you.
“Mhmm.” you nod, dumbly, consequences be damned. If you die, you’ll die by the hand of a man so beautiful you’d think an angel would cry at his presence. He takes your hand, leading you outside and hailing a cab. You at least have the sense to go to your place, knowing your cousin lives a few doors down and will surely here if things go wrong.
He kisses you deeply in the back of the cab, fingers digging into your skin as he squeezes your plush thigh. You moan, lewdly, when he tells you to stick out your tongue and he sucks it before licking it with his own. Tongues tangling as he continues to squeeze and knead your malleable flesh.
“Head on up, I’ll follow you.” he tells you as he pulls out his wallet. You nod, agreeing, whispering your apartment number before clambering out of the car. The chill of the 2am air bites at your skin, and you hurry to the security door. You pull the key from your purse and rush inside.
Toji takes his time paying the driver, grunting as he puts his wallet away and slides out of his side of the car. He slowly skulks to the entrance, smiling when he realises you remembered to leave the latch for him to get inside. He sees a crowd gathered by the elevator and opts to take the stairs instead.
He smirks, gleefully, when he sees you waiting by the front door.
“Watcha doin’, gorgeous?” he wonders.
“Waiting for you.” you confess, looking down at your feet awkwardly as shame surges through your body.
He approaches, slowly. But before you know it you’re looking up at him and caged between his body and your front door. His hands rest against the frame as he studies your blown eyes and nervous face.
“Somethin’ tells me you’ve never had a one night stand before,” he smiles, scar pulling deliciously once again. You can barely form a thought unable to break yourself from the hypnotising mark on his lip. “Unlock the door.”
“I already did…” you gulp, nervously, still unable to tear your eyes away from his.
He likes your answer, picking you up so that your legs wrap around his waist and he lets himself into your home. Your lips lock and tongues clash as he controls the kiss, but your eagerness gets the better of you. Your hips rutting and soft moans pour from you as you portray yourself as a desperate slut for his benefit.
You pout, a little defeated, as he sets you back down. Though the disappoint dies an instantaneous death as he spins you around so your back is to him, pushing you into the wall by your entryway.
“Have you fucked a stranger before, princess?” he asks, brushing your hair from your shoulder and whispering devilishly into your ear. You shake your head, pathetic strings of ‘no!’ spilling from your lips as his fingers explore under your dress and pinch your ass. You bite your lip as you feel his heavy fingers prod at your drippy panties. He huffs out a laugh when he realises how wet you are. “Allllll of this jus’ for me? You shouldn’t have, darlin’.”
“B-Been wet… since you asked if I wanted a drink…” you tell him, giggling a little and hiding your face against the wall.
“No no no…” he objects, tugging your hair softly to draw you out. “Wanna see you, wanna see how you look when I ruin you.” you feel your body flush with heat at his words, turning your head to the side so he can see you again. You place your palms against the wall to brace yourself, not expecting him to pull your panties down your legs from under your dress.
He relishes in how you can barely keep your eyes open as he sinks two fingers into your sopping cunt and your panties drop to the ground. You bite your inner cheek, though it does little to keep you quiet as he curls his fingers against your spongy insides.
“Oh fuck.” you gasp, ashamed that you might cum after a few pathetic pumps of his fingers. Though it doesn’t feel right. You don’t want it to stop, but you don’t feel like you usually do when you’re close to cumming. “W-Wait.” you move your head and try to close your legs.
“Sh.” he stops you, kicking your ankles to keep your legs open. He holds your head against the wall with his forearm, his breathing heavy in your ear. You shudder when he kisses against it, chuckling quietly when he feels your pussy begin to clench. “Stop clenching, push. It’ll feel good, promise… push against me.” he commands.
You don’t know what’s he’s talking about. Push your body? No, he said stop clenching. You’re trying to keep him inside, keep the feeling inside. But he repeats it. Push. And like he’s the master of your cunt, it listens.
“Good girl, baby…” he praises you as he notes the pressure switch from your tender hole. You moan, and he coos. Faux sympathy as he fucks you dumb on his thick digits.
“Toji! Ngh—!” you moan. Clear liquid jets from your pussy, dripping down your thighs and soaking your panties and the floor beneath. He doesn’t let up, either, still battering his fingers against your g-spot.
“There you go, princess. Good fuckin’ girl… so good for me darlin’.” he moans, too, getting off on your pleasure and the striking realisation that you’ve never squirted before. He’s proud of himself, and he’s proud of you. “Fuckin’ soaked your pretty panties, sweetheart. Dirty little girl…” he teases.
You don’t have the energy to respond, already spent from cumming in such an alien way. He kisses your shoulder as your legs continue to shake. Any logic from the thought of telling him to stop fingering you dissipates when you think that he can you make you cum like that again.
He feels his hardened cock over his jeans as he looks down at the puddle beneath you. Still pumping his fingers against your sweet spot until your eyes roll over white. He can’t take it anymore. The unrelenting inner voice telling him to touch himself. He thinks he might die if he doesn’t stroke his length, even for a minute.
“Don’t move.” he orders.
You stay still, unsure of what he’s doing. Though you whimper as you feel his body press against yours. His head sinks to the top of your dress, and you just about cum again when you realise he’s biting down on the metal zipper, pulling it down with his teeth as exposing your bare back.
The black mini dress falls to the ground into the puddle of your lewdness and your drenched underwear.
“Good girl, stay there.”
He pulls off his t-shirt and tosses it aside down the hallway, only to be seen by the end of this dalliance. You hear him kick off his shoes and quickly throws away his socks. Eagerly, his pants follow, as do his underwear. He’s just as naked as you, now. And you choke out a breath as you hear him drop to his knees, licking up the mess on your thighs and pussy. But he turns around, sitting on his ass with his back against the wall, without a care for the wetness beneath. He wraps his arms around your thighs, pulling your cunt towards his face.
“Sit.” he instructs.
You do, without pause, moaning boisterously as he sucks at your clit and covers his face in your sweetness. One arm remains hooked around thigh while the other releases, hand in search of his aching length. He plays with himself, alternating between lazy strokes and passionate ones. The taste of your cunt makes him dizzy, unable to believe how much slick you’re producing as he relentlessly feasts on your flesh.
“F-fuck, Toji… finger me, please.” you beg. He’s leaking like crazy, and thinks your request might have come at the perfect time. He lets himself go in favour of pleasuring you, the sound of your sticky cunt squelching with each press throughout your eerie apartment. Neither of you had even found time to turn on a light, the only thing illuminating the room is the filtering light sneaking in through the cracks of your front door. “G’na cum, a-again… holy— s-shit.” you moan.
It spurs him on, maintaining all of his ministrations as he tries to coax your second orgasm out of you. He grunts, loudly, against your sodden folds as you squirt again. His face and hair doused with your release as he doesn’t dare pull away. The sadistic desire to prolong your ecstasy is fuelling him to keep going. He feels like he might cum untouched as he feels your cum cover him.
Your legs give, his burly arms hook around your thighs again in a bid to keep you stable. But his hands wander, impatiently. Fingers grip into your waist as he pulls you away from the wall.
He helps you down, hovering you above his longing cock as he guides it to your spent hole.
“I don’t have any condoms.” he tells you.
“Don’t care—” you assure him, wriggling your hips eagerly. “’m on the pill.”
“Greedy girl,” he smirks, pushing you down onto his cock. You want to scream from the stretch but you manage to refrain. He sets a ruthless pace, forcing you to accommodate to it quickly. “Been so sweet for me, darlin’. Gonna be nice ‘n do all the work for ya, okay? Say thank you.”
“T-Thank you! Thank you.” you babble nonsensically.
His knees are bent as he fucks up into your abused hole, the velocity propelling you forward. Your fingers clutch onto his shoulders for dear life as he takes advantage of your body being in such close proximity to his mouth. He sucks your tits, eliciting a dreamy moan from you. The gorgeous sounds you make for him have his cock drooling inside of your unprotected walls.
It's so sorrowful, really, thinking about how pathetic you both are. He seemed so calm and collected and yet neither of you could even make it through the hallway of your apartment before you were both stripped bare. You thought you’d be fucking comfortably on your bed. But here you are, being fucking destroyed by his monstrously large cock on the wooden, soaking, hallway floor.
“Gonna cum, baby.” he breathes against your spit soaked tits. The admission makes you cream, clenching around his thick, veiny cock as you brace yourself. “Fuck, darlin’, you’re gonna cum again. Can feel it, little cock slut. No one’ll fuck you like this again, y’know.”
“Ah- aaaah—!” is all you can say as a lesser stream of liquid shoots from you once more. The internal bliss you feel makes you pass out momentarily. But you come around quick enough to feel your untainted insides become stained with his white, creamy warmth.
He groans, deeply, bouncing you up and down his length. He wishes there was a light on to see the creamy ring and the messy puddle you’ve created together.
“You’re fuckin’ amazing, baby.” he tells you, grasping the crown of your head with his palm to guide you into a sloppy kiss. He manages to stand up whilst keeping himself slotted comfortably inside of you. You giggle as you guide him to the nearest light switch, and both of you look down at the mess you’ve made. Shame builds once again and you hide your face in the crook of his neck. “Awe, pretty girl made a dirty little mess f’me.” he teases you.
“Stop! ‘m so embarrassed!” you tell him, the sentence muffled as you talk into his skin.
“S’okay, rest up.” he tells you, stroking your back soothingly. “Give me a tour, wanna see the next place we can make a mess of.”
© 2023 rinitxshi
#💌 — luxe mail#📨 — requests#toji x reader#toji x you#toji smut#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk smut#toji fushiguro x reader#toji fushiguro smut#toji fushiguro x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen smut#anime smut#female reader#sub reader#jjk x fem!reader#tw alcohol consumption#tw praise kink#tw degradation
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hiii!
could you write something with Charles where he’s obsessed with readers boobs?
Thank you ❤️
Well then let's say that the reader and charles are married and they just had a baby, so the reader still has milk in her tits. Cause girl that makes it more hotter right? 🫠
So sweet ❤️
Summary: charles was always obsessed with your tits but you didnt know he had lactation kink until you guys had a baby girl and he begs for a taste of your milk every time he sees you breastfeed your baby
Warnings: nsfw, 18+, lactation kink
You and charles had a baby 2 months ago. Seeing your baby being 2 months old feels like time passed pretty damn quickly. Honestly charles is an amazing father. He’s doing so much for his baby and you. Although everything is going well but you and charles haven’t had sex for like a year now which is not that great because you two are the type of couple who could never get their hands of each other. But i guess things had to change. You dont even look the same anymore. Your body bloated a lot. Your tits got bigger. Right. Your tits. God charles is so obsessed with your tits. He would suck on your tits like a baby. Flicking his tongue now and then. Even if you guys didn’t fuck, he would still have his mouth around your tits.
But you thought that maybe charles doesn’t find your tits that attractive anymore since you had a baby and your tits got bigger. But, you were wrong. So wrong. Charles has been begging to get a taste of your milk. At first you were quite shocked about the fact that he’s got lactation kink. But now it sort of arouses you.
You were breastfeeding your baby in your bedroom and charles was just looking at you, as he leaned on the doorframe. His white t-shirt looking so perfect with his grey sweatpants and a pair of glasses. You looked at him and smiled as you kept on feeding your baby girl. After finishing feeding your baby you pulled your bra up and made some baby sounds along with your baby who just started to make little sounds apart from just crying.
“Baby, just once. Please!” Charles said out of nowhere as you looked at him with a confused look on your face. “Once what charles?” You asked. Charles then came closer so you had to tilt your head to the back more. He then brushed your hair out of your face, smiling down at you. “You know exactly what i mean. Dont act fool” you gulped at his words. Charles’ hand then trailed down from your face to your neckline and lower to your tits. “I bet it tastes so fucking good baby. I’m such a great husband. I should get a reward for that right?” He said. You got lost at his words as his touch made you so horny already since he’s touching you like that after a long while. His fingers trailed so softly it cause goosebumps in your skin. He then sat down looking down at your tits as he pulled your bra down, looking at your tits with an invisible drool dripping down his mouth.
“God, i love your tits so much” he said as he sucked on your tits, flicking it. He moaned as he tasted you. “You taste so good, so sweet fuck” he said as he sucked on your tits again. His lips coating with white milk. After sucking for a good while he pulled out with a smile and pinched on your tits hard that made you squirt milk on his face as your head fell back by looking at the sight. Your squirted milk landed on his face and also on his glasses. God, he looked so good like that. “You taste so fucking good baby” he said as you giggled down at him. “Im so jealous our baby gets to taste it every single day” he said sarcastically as you took his glasses and cleaned it for him. “Dont worry, you’ll get a taste of it again” you whispered as charles smiled and kissed your forehead.
A/N: requests are open! feel free to ask what you want me to write! luv you ❤️
#f1 smut#f1#f1 x you#f1 x female reader#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 x y/n#charles leclerc#charles leclerc smut#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc 16#charles leclerc x reader#cl16 x y/n#cl16#cl16 x reader#cl16 imagine#cl16 x you#cl16 one shot#formula one#formula 1#f1 fanfic#forza ferrari#ferrari#scuderia ferrari#f1 fic#f1 2023#smut#fem reader#spotify
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GENSHIN MEN & YOU USING THEM AS A BODY PILLOW .
characters. wriothesley scara x gn!reader
genre. romantic fluff.
an. this is so tiney im so sorry anon but this is all my brain can handle rn ueueuueue. i hope this is okay :"))))) . | please reblog!! im getting back into writing and reblogs with tags and comments will make me want to write more :D
wriothesley
wriothesley actually doesn't mind being your body pillow...
i mean. you're comfortable. he's comfortable
everybody wins!
but also sometimes you squeeze him really hard and he freezes up because how are you so STRONG. like what the hell
(secretly he thinks of you picking him up like that. ough)
wriothesley doesn't actually have the heart to tell you to move aside.
how can he, when you look like such an angel wrapped around his waist? bathroom and bladder control be damned.
it's like having a cat on your lap. rule number one: never move from your spot if you're the chosen one. congratulations. you're bound to the couch forever
when you wake up, though ... wriothesley has fallen asleep. now it's your turn to not move. you're the body pillow now. hehe.
scara
grumpy cat. gruuuuumpy cat
okay i feel like maybe i push the scara hates things agenda a lot. i don't actually think scara hates this... when he knows that it makes you happy, he's willing to sacrifice his back just for you
maybe at the most he acts as if he's reluctant. dont let it fool you though – he's warm to the touch and actually a relatively good cuddler.
please don't be fooled! he might warm up to the idea sooner or later
it really is a win though, please keep convincing him. he gets cuddles, you get cuddles, and he doesn't even have to ask for it! no more convincing himself that he's fine and doesn't need that
especially when you initiate it. just keep doing it – watch as he slowly inches closer towards you. maybe he even tries to put his arm on your waist, stroking it with his thumb. just maybe.
and maybe, you're the one who allows him to open up to physical affection.
taglist: @tiredsleep @loptido @raincxtter @chichikoi @ladyadii @soulsanta @sheiiths @genshinparty @eowinthetraveler @moonbyunniee @legitnoi @lemontum @manager-of-the-pudding-bank @starz222 @ilyuu @cherry-colored-petals @mondaymelon @tartaglia-apologist @soleillunne @m1shapanda @aimynx @smokipoki @adeptuscharm @diorlumx @vennnnn-diagram @ryuryuryuyurboat @yuminako @st0pthatsgay @aqualesha @sixtynintharchon @supernova25 @kunikuda-simp @starglitterz @rin-nyrasti-writes (send ask/comment to be added to taglist)
plus birthday tag!! @catcze hope u like the wriothesley part, pls cuddle himmmm
reblogs w/ tags & comments help me lots !!! if you liked this and would like to support me, please consider dropping me a follow as well :-) they all go a long way!
#[📝 stewardess' notepad!]#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin x gn reader#astronetwrk#genshin impact x gn reader#wriothesley x reader#wriothesley x you#wriothesley x y/n#wriothesley x gn reader#scara x reader#scara x you#scara x y/n#scara x gn reader
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Happy 2k!! I have ot5 request for the mic is yours!
Ot5 reactions to you teasing them the entire day with them getting hard and then you straying away to make em mad? <3
join the 2k event and request something!
ot5 x fem! reader // wc: 3.1K(...) ; around 500 per member // smut, established relationship, MDNI.
warnings: yj; dry humping, masturbating // sb; dry humping, slightly subby binnie // bg; mean dom! gyu, degrading, unprotected sex, manhandling// th; bratty mc, slight switch tyun // hk; kinda perv!huening, grinding, a bit of subby!hyuka //
notes: ignore the fact that this is well over 2k. my stupid ass doesn’t know how to keep things brief. (i'll try to not let it happen again so don't expect this for every request aldkjh)
[Yeonjun]
Is a bit oblivious at first, but when he finds out, he’s pissed off. Poor boy was trying to remain innocent and oblivious the whole day, pretending as though the way you sat in his lap and kept getting all touchy wasn’t affecting him. His last straw was feeling the way you kept shifting on top of him, whining innocently that you couldn’t get comfortable while you both pretended that he wasn’t unbelievably hard right now and that you definitely weren’t grinding on him— cute little pussy already soaking wet as you pretend that you aren’t getting needy yourself, huffing petulantly as he tries to ignore the way his cock is slotted perfectly along your entrance.
“Baby…” he would mutter, more of a warning than you realized as you simply hummed in response, head emerging from where it was tucked in his neck to look at him; you’re trying to hold back a smile at the way he seems tense and flushed, continuing your act as you shift once more— his hands move to grab onto your waist, eager to set a proper pace that he can fuck up into you with, but you’re getting off his lap before he can even process anything, and you’re sending him a pout as you tell him that you think you’ll just go to bed instead.
He’s stunned for a moment… but then, he just decides to let you go; don’t think it won’t come with repercussions though, because now that he’s seen how far you decided to take this little stunt of yours, he’ll take it even further. Following you into the bedroom after a moment, taking in the way you’re simply laying on the bed and scrolling on your phone casually, glancing at him and making a show of ignoring the very blatant bulge in his sweats.
“Don’t wanna finish what you started?” he would ask, sitting at the edge of the bed and watching the way you continue to ignore him, “Okay then, that’s fine.”
You don’t really know what he means by that, but his words are a bit ominous as you simply turn your back to him, trying to not give in as you continue to ignore him— after a while, you hear it… it’s subtle at first, the strange yet familiar sounds that have you squeezing your thighs and your body heating up— then, it’s more than obvious, the wet sounds of Yeonjun’s hand going up and down his cock and his exaggerated moans making you bury your face in your pillow, flustered and needy as you realize that he’s teasing you now; moaning your name loudly, his pace quick and cruel as he simply talks to himself— at least that’s what it seems like, but you know damn well he’s just trying to get you to look at him.
“Fuck…” he would coo your name, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was ready to reach out to you any second now— but no, one glance over your shoulder and your eyes are meeting his, left frozen as he simply keeps eye contact with you, his pace quickening and his brows furrowing slightly as he simply nears his orgasm, his sounds dramatic and his abs clenching as he tenses. And like the fool you are, you try to reach out to him, more than willing to help out before he grabs your wrist to stop you, eyes narrowed angrily as he finally cums; you can only whimper quietly as you watch, eyes glossy as you hold back the urge to beg him to touch you— instead, he simply takes a moment to catch his breath, huffing quietly before he tucks himself in; then, he’s leaning over you, placing a soft kiss on your forehead before he’s getting off the bed.
“Go to sleep, baby,” he says, not bothering to look back as he exits the room, “I’ll be in the living room, I have some work I need to do.”
And if you think this is the end of it, you’re definitely wrong; you can apologize and cry and beg as much as you want, but Yeonjun won’t be touching you for the rest of the night— if he’s feeling really petty, he’ll let it go on for a few days. Anything to make sure you learned your lesson.
[Soobin]
You know how weak he gets when he sees you in his clothes. At least, that must be the case, finding you in the kitchen and making dinner while you’re decked in a thin pair of shorts and his oversized hoodie, the sight making his stomach flip. There’s no way you don’t know what you’re doing, acting all affectionate and excited as you run to him, squeezing him in a tight hug as he realizes with wide eyes that you’re not wearing a bra. Gulping slightly at the way you pepper him with kisses, cutely whining that you missed him while you continue to cling to him.
He tries so hard to keep his composure— really, he does— because the last thing he wants is for you to think he’s nothing more than a pervert, always thinking with his dick when he’s around you. But oh, are you always this touchy with him…? Keeping him close to your side, asking him to taste test stuff for you as you smile at him widely— washing your hands before you go to try the filling you’ve just made for a desert, humming excitedly at how good it tastes— and before Soobin knows it, you’re offering him a taste too, your finger swiping the inside of the bowl before you’re bringing it up to his mouth; doe eyes urging him quietly to taste, pouty lips parting to say “ahh”, as though asking him to do the same.
He really hopes you don’t take notice of how hard he is right now. Because as his tongue swirls around your finger carefully, watching the way your eyes glaze and your mouth parts slightly, he’s unable to stop his wandering thoughts that ask him if you’re as sweet as the dessert you’re making. But before he can test out his theory, you’re pulling away, mumbling to yourself that your food will burn if you don’t attend to it soon.
This goes on for longer than Soobin would like; he’s forced to watch as you refuse to address the strong tension in the room, still playful and teasing as you eventually corner him against the cabinets, giving him an excuse that you need to get something behind him as you press against him— his cock is firm against your body, and he fails to suppress the way his breath hitches at the feeling.
Fuck this. It’s the only thought coursing through Soobin’s mind as he comes up behind you, arms circling your waist and pulling you back into him as he begins grinding into you; poor baby is just so needy, apologizing and whining that he just couldn’t help himself as he ruts his cock against your ass, telling you to keep cooking and just ignore him— like you’ve already been doing. But his breath is hot against your neck and his voice is so whiny as he humps against you, whining filth into your ear until eventually, you’re the one giving in; you’ve never turned the stove and oven off so fast as you practically pounce on Soobin, your plan gone wrong by how needy he is, his hands and lips all over you as he practically overpowers you with his sheer need to fuck you.
Well, looks like dinner will be done a lot later than you expected.
[Beomgyu]
Your first mistake was messing with Beomgyu; your second mistake was thinking you’d actually get away with it. If there’s one thing this man loves more than anything, it’s making sure to put you in your place when you try to act out— so, when you decide to get a little bold today and tease him in public… his mind is already racing with possibilities on how to make you regret it.
At first, it’s all just mild things; nothing too out of the ordinary, pretending to be oblivious to the lingering touches you’ve left on him as you go shopping, the way you’ve let your kisses go on longer than they should when you’re hidden in between the aisles, tempting him to venture further with the way your fingers tangle themselves in his hair and your body presses against him.
You’re never this bold; which is exactly why he can’t help but be a little surprised when you let it continue the whole day, going through with your teasing even as you sit at a restaurant with Beomgyu’s friends, laughing and talking casually as though you weren’t wearing that one dress that always made Beomgyu unnecessarily horny, and as though you hadn’t showcased the lingerie set you were wearing under to him proudly as you were getting ready, lacy and intricate and beautiful as it stuck to your skin, smiling at him cutely as you asked him if you looked good.
He finds your teasing amusing— even more so when you look at him with innocent eyes and a bright smile, laughing along with whatever his friends were saying as you listened intently to their conversation— but it’s all fun and games until you’ve had a few glasses of wine, tipsy and bold as you begin to get touchy once more, continuing to talk casually as though you aren’t aware of the way your hand is on his inner thigh, his most sensitive area as you massage it gently; thumb caressing the fabric of his pants gently, fingers squeezing him as he jumps so hard his knees knock against the table— and while his friends tease him and the glasses rattle from the impact, Beomgyu sends you a glare so harsh you can’t help but shrink back immediately.
Poor thing, you don’t even make it out of the car. Beomgyu is fucking you in the backseat of the car parked in the driveway, angry and rough as he scolds you for trying to act out— your dress is tossed over the console and your lingerie is ripped and stained with his cum, going round after round, feeling the way your body becomes sore and weak as he puts you into any position he wants, fucking you with abandon as he degrades you for trying to get bold in front of his friends— he fucks you until you’re a crying, overstimulated and apologetic mess, babbling that you’ll never do it again as he merely laughs at you at curses to shut up and take it; “after all, this is what you wanted, right? To get put in your place?”
And even if you try to deny it and play innocent, you both know the truth— that it’s exactly what you wanted, and that you’ll definitely try it again.
[Taehyun]
Ooh. If there’s one thing about this man, it’s that he will hold a grudge. Picks up on what you’re doing immediately— and wills himself to not fall for your tricks. Teasing him in public? He brushes you off like it’s nothing. Getting clingy and touchy with him out of nowhere? Okay, he’ll do the same. Trying to tempt him by wearing close to nothing, or continuing to sport your cute sets of lingerie in front of him? Well, then you don’t mind him walking around shirtless or working out in front of you, right? In the end, you’re scurrying away from him in order to not give in first— because without realizing it, this man turned all this teasing into a fucking competition— and now he’s trying to give you a taste of your own medicine, waiting for you to cave and admit what you’ve been trying (and failing) to do.
It’s so ridiculous, he makes it go on long after you’ve finally given up; now you’re simply being clingy because you’re needy, all over him to give him a subtle hint that you want nothing more for him to fuck you stupid— but no, Taehyun has yet to hear an apology from you; he refuses to let your teasing slide, refuses to go along with the way you kiss him slowly, attempting to deepen it and let your hands wander under the band of his sweatpants; he’s stopped you every time, giving you an amused look and raising a brow as he simply slips from your grip, giving you a half-hearted excuse that he should get started on dinner, or that he feels tired, or worse, that he told Beomgyu he’d get on a game with him around this time.
The worst part? You’re just as stubborn as him. You refuse to give him exactly what he wants, which is to bring you to your knees and beg him to stop being a jerk and fuck you already; your stubborn attitudes only leave you pent up and irritated with each other, unable to give up on this silent competition as this tension only grows, worsening until there's no other choice but to let it all… explode.
“What are you doing now,” he would ask you, not bothering to pretend as though he’s been oblivious to your previous attempts to tease as you pull on his chair, rolling him away from his desk and spinning him around— he’s barely given any time to react before you’re kissing him desperately, tugging your shorts off and climbing on his lap as he quickly reciprocates; he’s never felt you get this rough with him before, tugging up his shirt and slipping a hand down the band of his sweats to cup his already hardening cock, the kiss messy and harsh as you bite down on the supple flesh of his lips; your hand goes up to tug off his headset, throwing it back on his desk and pulling him even closer— his game is quickly forgotten as he allows you to take over, already feeling the way your pussy soaks through his sweats as you begin to grind against him.
And for once, you let yourself scold Taehyun as you ride him, hands tangled in his hair as you take in his eyes gloss and watch you in awe, irritated with the stupid coy smile he sports as he simply keeps his hands on your hips, helping your pace as he bucks up into you ever so often— stupid jerk, you would groan, milking him endlessly as you ignore the way your legs ache after who-knows-how-many rounds, still going as you take out your frustrations on him, you always have to get the upper hand, hmm? Just looove to get competitive?
He lets you get it out of your system quietly— but once you find yourself too tired to continue, he’ll give you a nice reminder on why it’s not a good idea to try to tease him.
[Hueningkai]
This poor boy… will genuinely just not do anything about it. He’s too meek and a severe overthinker, will just believe that you’re not doing any of this on purpose and that he really shouldn’t be looking too much into any of it. Your touchiness, the way you cling to him in public, your hand that somehow continuously finds itself on his thighs, massaging the sore muscles with deft hands as you simply smile at him cutely, ignoring the way he stiffens slightly at the feeling— no, you must not know how weak he gets from your touch, sporting tense smiles and forcing himself to not look at you for too long, because he thinks his thoughts might just stray if he has to take note of your low cut top any longer, or the skirt that is a bit too short as he always finds himself getting a little nervous every time he’s trailing behind you, mentally scolding himself to look at anything but the sway of your hips as you walk.
You must really underestimate the effect you have on him; at least, that’s what he believes, feeling his stomach twist with slight guilt as he has to take a moment to focus on not hardening pathetically at your every action— believing he’s being such a pervert for getting flustered at the way you continue to make eye contact as you lean on the kitchen counter, pretty lips parted and your tongue swirling around the popsicle you were just conveniently craving; feeling his face heat up at the way your tongue runs along it, eager to not let a single drop spill as you let our exaggerated groans of satisfaction.
Meanwhile, you’re simply trying your hardest not to laugh. You don’t think you’ve ever seen your boyfriend so tense before, his cheeks flushed and his lower half glued to the counter, away from your curious eyes that give him a curious look, asking him if he’s alright.
“Yeah,” he would reply, much too quick for it to seem natural, his smile tense as you raise a brow at the sight, “just… a little tired.”
Those words are enough to dig his grave; he’s found himself tangled up in your bed, halfway through a movie he can’t remember the name of as he simply wills himself to calm down— to ignore the way you nuzzle against him, straddling him and whispering softly that you think you’ll just take a nap— and he simply mutters out a soft okay, afraid out of his mind that you’ll feel the way he’s getting hard, (again, it’s been happening all day) tense as always as he simply gulps nervously.
You’ve done everything to push his limits— so why hasn’t he said anything? The thought is enough to make you laugh, the feeling of your breath on Huening’s neck enough to make him shiver with sensitivity, and he’s unable to realize the way his arms have tightened around you, pulling you flush against his body as his cock begins to rut against your stomach, painfully hard as he tries to search for some relief.
“Huening, y’okay?” the moment you ask him that is the moment he’s falling apart, whining quietly into your skin and apologizing that he’s really not like this— that he doesn’t know what’s gotten into him, completely unaware that you’ve brought him to this point purposefully; poor baby is practically crying the moment you ask quietly if he wants you to take care of him, eyes glossing over the moment you begin to grind slowly against him.
Little did you know that all of that teasing would come with repercussions— because now, Huening is all pent up and needy, and you won’t be leaving the bed until it’s all out of his system; you’ll take it all though, won’t you? Be a good girl for him, okay?
#[2k event!]#[nsfw]#[the mic is yours]#txt fanfiction#txt imagines#txt oneshots#txt ff#txt x reader#txt smut#txt hard hours#txt hard thoughts#txt reactions#yeonjun smut#soobin smut#beomgyu smut#taehyun smut#hueningkai smut#txt fanfic
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warning: usage of the words "good girl", "princess", unprotected sex, semi public sex, slight exhibitionism, jealous!hyunjin
hyunjin had enough of this damn cocktail party.
he knew it was the professional thing to do: show up, be cordial and be supportive of his beautiful girlfriend who had worked her ass off to be in the position she was in today.
he was proud of you, to say the least.
watching you sip an alcoholic beverage, with a smile on your face as you chatted away with a person standing in front you.
things were going fine, however the night turned sour when a guy you worked with could not make it any more obvious that he was hitting on you.
hyunjin didn't like that one bit.
especially not when he was standing right next to you, glaring at the dumbass in hopes he would get the hint and get lost.
was he also this brazen when hyunjin wasn't around?
did he always pester you or was the liquid courage making him ballsy?
hyunjin would be damned if he thought he was going to let this slip.
absolutely not.
and the guy was quick to notice that your drink was almost up, offering to get you another one from the bar.
you being the sweet coworker you were, felt it was rude to deny him so you gave him your drink order and he quickly made a beeline to the bartender.
hyunjin wanted to laugh in his face.
did he ever in a million years think he had a shot with you?
of course not!
you were hyunjin's and hyunjin was yours, end of story. hyunjin would never let you go without a fight, which he was convinced he'd prevail from.
god, he was absolutely sick of this fool. who did he even think he was? being so painfully bold in front of him, had he no shame?
frustration and rage was coursing through hyunjin's veins. he swore he wasn't one to get jealous and act out but this guy was going to be an exception.
you hadn't even being paying much attention, staring around at people mingling with your empty glass in hand when you felt hyunjin grab your arm and tug you through the crowd of people.
"hyune? where are we going?" you asked, following him without hesitation because maybe it was important.
sometimes he had moments where he needed to step out for some air if the room became too stuffy so you figured it was one of those instances.
but he didn't answer you, and he didn't step outside either.
instead he pulled you into the restroom, not even caring to lock the door behind him, pressing you into the sink and kissing you deeply as he took the glass from your fingers and set it down.
"h-hyune.. w-wait baby.. w-what's wrong?" you said between kisses, but you already had a feeling of what was boiling inside of him.
he shushed you as he kissed down your neck, squeezing your sides tightly, smiling to himself slightly because he knew that idiot could only dream of having you like this, and a dream could not do the real thing any justice to be quite honest.
"b-baby what if someone-"
at the moment, he didn't give much of a shit if someone heard, if someone wondered where you had run off to.
he flipped you over, you facing yourself in front of the mirror. you both already looked a little disheveled and it made you worry about stepping out there again later looking like a mess.
hyunjin fumbled with his pants, pulling his cock out over his slacks just enough. he bunched your dress up to your waist and moved your panties to the side, watching as a string of your arousal connected your cunt to the fabric.
"god, princess.. you're so wet for me.. you like being naughty huh?" he kissed the shell of your ear, nibbling on your lobe gently.
"we don't have much time to waste kay? look at me.. eyes on me." he instructed, nimble fingers rubbing you a bit while he stroked his cock, lining it up with your entrance
"h-hyune baby-" he quickly covered your mouth as he pressed his cockhead inside of you. you gripping the sink in hopes of somehow grounding yourself but you already felt so weak.
"shh shh.. just take it baby.. i know you can be good and take it.. eyes on me remember?"
you nodded, your eyes meeting his through the mirror, his gaze lustful as he pressed another inch inside of you.
fuck, you already felt so full of him, clenching around his length because the situation was turning you on more than you'd like to admit.
once he bottomed out, you arched your back, his hand still on your mouth to stifle your moans as he began to pound into you. his other hand came up to grab a fistful of your hair, gripping it tightly as he held your head back for him.
he wanted to make sure you saw him ruining you, that he was the one fucking you good. that piece of shit had nothing on him, he was the one who made your knees buckle, that could pull the prettiest moans from you, that got to kiss and squeeze every inch of your body.
"i'm gonna fuck you good but you have to promise to keep my cum tonight okay?" he grunted, you could only nod against his hand, trying so hard to keep your eyes open and not roll them to the back of your head.
"good girl.. that's right baby.." he breathed out.
you both could feel your orgasms approaching, hyunjin trying his best to hold you up while also trying to keep his own composure.
the chatter outside was thankfully suppressing the noise coming from you two but it wasn't very helpful in warning you when someone was nearby.
the door handle twisting and opening to reveal the guy who had been flirting with you. drink in his hand as his jaw dropped at the sight in front of him. seems he had been looking all over the place for you to continue his pathetic scheme and to hand you the liquor he oh so kindly had gotten you.
"close the door, can't you see we're fucking busy?" hyunjin growled out at him, not relenting his pace. you furrowing your eyebrows as you felt yourself start to cream around hyunjin's cock. it was too fucking much, you couldn't hold yourself back anymore.
he quickly closed the door and ran off.
hyunjin smirked, feeling his ego swell. stilling his hips to let his cum shoot deep inside you, not a drop would go to waste.
"remember.. you're keeping it all in okay? gonna fuck it deeper when we get home."
please refrain from reposting, modifying, translating, copying or stealing my work. - © binsito
#just a silly thought i had...#binsito#skz smut#stray kids smut#skz hard thoughts#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#hyunjin smut#hwang hyunjin smut#hyunjin#hyunjin x reader#hyunjin x reader smut
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ALL MINE (Ony)
"You come here, I'll knock your pussy out the damn frame. Remember the last time I made you miss your damn plane? Remember the last time I wet you down with champagne?"
A/N: Hey! I'm down bad for this man rn, lol. I've got lots of ideas for him though, so yay! Happy reading :) Inspired by @lingeriae and this post! Requests are open, too! Get at your girl.
Warning(s): Explicit Sexual Content; Penetrative Sex (p in v), Oral Sex (F receiving), Cursing, Public Sex (Outdoors), Cervix kissing, Wedding details, N Word Used, Black reader in mind, AAVE/Dialogue with Dialect, Dominant!Ony (when tf is he not in my mind), Depiction of marijuana usage, Depictions of alcohol consumption, Mild Dubious Consent; Beta'd by my besties <3
Pairing: Ony x Wedding Planner!Reader
Song Inspo: All Mine - Brent Faiyaz
His eyes drilled into the side of your head, trailing the curves of your body.
As maid of honor, your dress was a little different from the other bridesmaids. Make no mistake, your girls looked good with a t on the end. You made sure of that, but you all agreed upon something more…tailored for the lady making the most moves. So, your dress was designed to your tastes and fit you like a glove. It accentuated all your assets and Onyankopon was taking stock.
The two of you had only fucked once but there was this heightened tension ever since.
During the entire wedding process, Ony had been a pain in your ass. Because he was the best man, the two of you had to collaborate on many of the joint events-- like the Engagement Party and Bridal Party mixers. He was a terrible flirt and spent most of his time trying to get in your pants. Then, if it wasn’t you, he was flirting with any lady he could. And they would swoon just as soon as Ony flashed that handsome, megawatt smile of his.
But for some reason, Ony liked the challenge you posed. The way you were resistant to his charms. Unfortunately for you, Ony was interested in you. He liked you.
You dealt with his bullshit for a good while, putting in a valiant effort because you were doing your best friend and fellow soror, Kendra, a favor. Y’all went back to diapers and stuck together through everything. You were a celebrity event coordinator, specializing in weddings, so you were doing double duty by being her maid of honor and planning the entire wedding. But shit hit the fan between you and Ony the night of the final Bridal Party mixer. The two of you got into a huge blowout fight that ended with your cute little cocktail dress torn and strewn about the floor of Ony’s hotel room, his tongue licking champagne from places it shouldn’t have been.
“You doing so good, ma.” He had whispered, fucking you into his sheets.
You ended up missing your damn plane the next morning. Needless to say, he moved up on your list of people you wouldn’t mind spending time with. But he quickly moved back down the list after he ghosted you the next day. During the rehearsal dinner, you found him talking up some girl in the hotel lounge. He made eye contact with you as he flirted with her, looking away to give her his full attention.
So, you kept it cordial and cute after that. You acted like it didn’t bother you. Did he have amazing, life-changing dick that made you want to murder him and the bitch from the hotel lounge? Yes, yes he did. But were you a classy, sophisticated bitch who successfully planned a destination wedding while being the maid of honor and dealing with Ony’s shiesty ass? Yes, yes the fuck you were.
And no nigga was gonna make you second guess that shit.
The “Lounge Incident”, as your friends lovingly dubbed it, had happened a week ago. Fast forward to the present and there you were, watching your best friend dance and act a fool with the love of her life. You were happy for her, of course, but it did make you feel a little wistful.
The wedding ceremony wrapped up two hours prior and you found yourself nursing a glass of champagne at the reception. You were pretending to be unfazed by the looks Ony was sending you from across the room. You stole a glance at him when you felt like he wasn’t watching you and…dear Lord.
His white dress shirt was tucked into his green slacks, suit jacket long forgotten, with a few of the top buttons opened. His gold chain shined at you, almost winking, as it matched the gold Rollie on his wrist. He flashed a smile to one of his homeboys and you felt your knees wobble a little. You looked away quickly and crossed the room to find your girls. They were standing around one of the reception tables talking.
“Aht, don’t bring that energy over here, ma’am!” Your friend, Chelsea, said. “That man look like he ‘bout to jump your ass.”
“Please tell me y’all not about to fuck at this wedding,” Liyah groaned.
Your girls laughed loudly and you hid a smile behind your champagne glass as you took a sip. You risked a glance back at Ony, finding his gaze already on you. He didn’t care to hide the fact he was staring at you, not even giving the young lady in front of him a glance as she spoke to him. You whipped around, clearing your throat.
“Bye, girl. It ain’t even like that.”
The table went quiet, all the girls looking over your shoulder. A shit-eating grin spread across Chelsea’s face as she raised her hand, waving playfully.
“Hey, Ony.”
Your eyes widened as his chest pressed against your back, his warmth surrounding you. You tried to pretend to be unbothered as your friends gawked with wide eyes and smirks.
“Hey, ladies.”
The smile was evident in his voice, sending chills down your spine. But you took a sip of your champagne with a neutral face, not acknowledging him. In truth, you didn’t need to. He leaned down so that his mouth was close to your ear, hands braced on the table as he trapped you against his chest. His chain brushed your neck, not helping the goosebumps erupting all over your skin. His words, low so only you could hear them, didn’t help either.
“Say bye to your lil friends so I can eat your pussy.”
He paused as you turned your head slightly, your faces close to touching.
“And stop playing with me.”
His eyebrow arched at you as he pulled back, taking a sip from his whiskey glass. He addressed your friends again, setting the glass down.
“Ladies,” He said with a charming smile.
With that, he left you standing there as you slowly looked back to your friends who gaped back at you.
“Bye.” You said finally, scurrying from the reception hall as fast as your legs would carry you.
You found Ony outside the building, perched against the wall. A blunt hung from his lips as he gazed at you sidelong. You approached slowly, hips swaying with each step. His eyes never left yours as he sparked up and inhaled, exhaling the smoke slowly. You felt dizzy with need but you weren’t down that bad. Not yet.
You took the blunt as he passed it to you. You let the smoke soothe you before you exhaled. You took a few more pulls before passing it back to him.
“Take your panties off,” He said finally, after a long draw.
You tutted, crossing your arms.
“You just gon’ act like you ain’t ghost me, Ony?”
“I was wrong for that. But I'm here now, ain't it?” He said casually.
You rolled your eyes, turning to go back inside. He grabbed your arm and pulled you back to him, his lips pressing firmly against yours. His mouth teased yours, opening it as smoke billowed between the two of you. His arm slid down to your waist as you exhaled the smoke he gave you.
He took another pull, exhaling, before he looked back down at you.
“I told you stop playing with me.”
“Maybe I'm done with you," You bluffed. "Maybe I got me another nigga to fuck on now.”
Ony scoffed, tucking the rest of his blunt away for later.
“Aight, that’s enough of that shit,” He mumbled, grabbing your hand as he pulled you to the side of the building.
It was a more hidden spot, behind large bushes that wrapped around the front of the building and off to the side. From there, you could see guests entering and exiting but they couldn’t see you unless they were looking hard enough. Your eyes widened as he kneeled in front of you and shoved your dress up your legs. You swatted at his hands, panicking as your eyes darted around. Ony stilled, his gaze hard as he grabbed your hands and looked up at you.
“Don’t piss me off.”
Now, you were down bad.
You took a shaky breath as he released your hands, going back to bunching up your dress.
“Hold that,” He said, tossing your leg over his shoulder.
You did as he asked, taking the garment in your hands. Your body flushed with heat as he shamelessly nuzzled his nose against your soaked core, smelling your needy scent. He kissed your clothed core and pushed your panties aside, holding them in one hand as he slipped a finger into your dripping cunt. He moved the digit in and out, brushing against that soft spot inside you.
“Oh, fuck,” You whined, your head falling against the wall.
“Yeah, say that shit you was sayin’ now,” Ony taunted, sliding another digit inside. “This pussy all mine.”
You panted, bracing yourself with a hand on his shoulder, as you forced out your next question.
“What about that bitch from the lounge, Ony?”
“I was gonna try what she was offering, but she wasn’t you,” He said easily, his eyes glued to his fingers moving in and out of you. “Damn, ma. You sucking that shit in.”
“Ony,” You whimpered. “I don’t want to play no games with you--”
“I’m not. That shit not an offer to me when you’re around,” He said firmly. “Now, you gon’ keep complainin’ or you gonna let daddy eat his pussy?”
“Ony--”
Any rebuttal you had became a wanton moan as he didn’t wait for a response, his mouth descending on your clit as his fingers continued to move inside you. You covered your mouth with your hand, trying in vain to stifle the sounds of pleasure he was snatching from you. He pulled his fingers from you gently, spreading your sopping pussy wider as he fucked his tongue in and out of you.
He ate you out messily, drinking up your juices like sweet nectar. The slurping noises were lewd as he sucked on your clit, teasing it with his tongue before dipping it back into your weeping hole. His performance was drawing pathetic whines from your throat as you tried to keep the two of you from getting caught. Heat pooled in your belly as his mouth on your core drove you toward a heated finish.
Then, he stopped completely. You let out a confused moan as the pleasure waned, your orgasm evading you. The confusion didn’t last long, however, as you heard his belt coming undone. He pulled himself from his pants as he tore your panties. He hiked your leg around his waist and slid home without warning.
“Hold on to me,” He grunted, his other hand supporting your back.
You wrapped your arms around him, your head resting on his shoulder as he thrust into you. His pace was rough and deep, fucking you like he owned you. Maybe he did. Maybe you wanted him to. You muffled a scream into his shoulder as his length kissed your cervix, unrelenting as the drag of his cock against your tight walls sent you into oblivion.
“Fuck, baby,” He groaned. “You so tight f’me. Takin’ me so good.”
You choked back a sob as his tip brushed that soft spongy spot, bringing back the pool of pleasure from before. Ony noticed your reaction, angling his hips to hit it over and over again. Your whimpers and moans were his own private mixtape as you keened and cried in his ear. He stretched you so good, the feeling of being this full something new and foreign to you. Ony was a bad habit, and he was making sure you wouldn’t be able to kick him any time soon.
That pool of pleasure warmed further with each snap of his hips into yours. Your quiet, open-mouthed cries built in intensity as the temperature inside you began to rise, swirling like a tsunami. You felt yourself teetering on that delicate edge and so could Ony. He picked up the pace.
“You gonna cum on your dick?” He taunted, egging you on. “You gon’ show me who this dick belong to?”
Your climax crashed over you as you slapped a hand to your mouth, muffling the sob that broke free. He fucked you through your orgasm, prolonging it as your body seized around him. He could barely pull out, opting for shallow thrusts as you came down from your high.
You sagged against the wall, trying to catch your breath as Ony pulled out. He fixed your dress and smoothed it down around the hips. He tucked himself back into his pants and dug his wallet from his pocket, fishing out his room key.
He flashed it in front of your dazed face before placing it in your hand. He pulled you off the wall, making sure you looked good before nudging you in the direction of the front doors.
“Go to my room. Third floor, 303. I’ll be there in a minute.”
You looked down at the key card in your hand then back to him. He sparked up his blunt again, blowing out smoke as he smacked your ass.
“Go ‘head, ma. I’m coming.”
You jumped slightly from the impact and found your feet moving you out of the bushes. You stumbled back into the hotel lobby, walking on wobbly legs to the elevators with his room key clutched in your hand. Your girl, Chelsea, was coming from the restrooms as the two of you made eye-contact. She smirked, her eyes trailing over you. She subtly adjusted the top of her dress, nodding at you.
You took the hint, fixing yours.
She went back into the reception hall without a word as you fumbled to press the elevator button.
Your night was not over yet.
#onyankopon x reader#onyankopon x black y/n#ony x reader#onyankopon smut#onyankopon x black reader#onyankopon#aot onyankopon#black writer#black reader#my writing#Lyv's Library#Ony's Observatory#Fanfiction for black women#Black women#smut#Onyankopon x black!reader#Potential Series ;)#Wedding Planner!Reader
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Propaganda
Katharine Hepburn (Bringing Up Baby, The Philadelphia Story, The African Queen)—This woman. I have been obsessed with her for years. I know the urban legend is a popular one at this point of her walking around set in her underwear when her pants were stolen and she was left with only a skirt, but the pants thing is honestly enough for her to be the hottest in the room in my book. She refused to wear anything else at a time when the public in general and especially the studios did not like that. She was independent, stubborn, and so so very capable. Competency kink anyone? Also, if you want one final way that Katharine's entire life was saying "fuck you" to the establishment, it started young! Her mother took her to suffrage events, and she never got rid of that attitude of justice. I feel like I have barely scratched the surface of all the ways she was such a badass that I'm turning into a rambling mess instead.
Gene Tierney (Laura, The Ghost and Mrs Muir, Leave Her to Heaven)— The class, the elegance. The way she walks into frame and immediately all focus is on her. She had a pretty lengthy struggle with mental health that she describes in her book, which I think made her all the more sensitive in portraying characters like in leave her to heaven. Also she dumped JFK so
This is round 4 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.
[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]
Katharine Hepburn propaganda:
I'm sure one million people will submit her as an iconic Hollywood star but that iconicness might lead people to forget just how insanely hot she was like she had it ALL she was skilled she was funny she was smart she was beautiful AND she was likely bisexual
The single word I would use to explain Katherine Hepburn's appeal is *range*. In her acting career, that meant covering all the ground between lush period dramas and the comedies she did with Carey Grant and Spencer Tracey. In terms of hotness, it meant an uncanny ability to bring anything from a Dietrich-esque androgyny to some of the best Classic Hollywood Glamour you will ever see.
Katharine hep was so cool. The VIBES, the INDEPENDENCE,,, living life on her own terms.
she just had this.... bearing to her, this power. she could be funny, even silly (like in bringing up baby) but also so regal and elegant. she was nobody's fool and dear GOD that's so hot
Fancam link
She’s not only stunningly gorgeous (those eyes that pierce your soul! a jawline you could cut glass with!) but her delivery and physical presence in roles gives off confidence and authority in such a sexy way (truly the biggest dick energy of Old Hollywood). Her fiery energy in The Philadelphia Story? Unmatched.
God she's. She's so hot y'all. She has the range!!!!! Funny and dramatic and lovely
She IS the transatlantic accent. Classically gorgeous and such a strong personality.
She's literally one of the funniest women to ever live! She goes shot for shot with Cary Grant in Philadelphia Story and we damn well love her for it! She's the most annoying creature to ever live in Bringing Up Baby but she's so insane and funny that we simply cannot help but fall in love with her (and root for her to give Grant an aneurysm!)
i know she's accounted for but i really want to be sure someone has submitted the scene in bringing up baby where she's pretending to be a gangster
youtube
She simply stuns onscreen; you cannot do anything but be captivated by her presence. Also a non-gender-conforming icon and mild tumblr celebrity by virtue of that one picture from The Warrior's Husband (stage play).
Katharine Hepburn was out here casually changing the lives of young butch lesbians with her gender swag! She wore pants even when people said she shouldn’t, she refused to marry or have kids, and she wore menswear in at LEAST one movie!
If I start thinking about her face for too long I will cry she is so so hot. Katherine is so charismatic and charming in everything she appears in - watch her adopt a leopard and fall in love with her. Also she has the biggest dick energy ever (she and her pal Lauren Bacall share that accolade). Also had an incredibly long and varied career from screw ball comedies to serious dramas - she’s a queen of the screen and I adore her.
Someone's got to mention it, but she's won the most Oscars out of any performer and is largely considered one of the greatest actresses ever. She's got an incredible voice, an incredible presence, and she absolutely steals every scene she's in. She was private person and deemed standoffish and unapproachable, but she was also profoundly concerned for people's rights and was an outspoken supporter of abortion access. Finally, the Katharine Hepburn slacks look is just iconic. I mean look at her.
(I hope someone else submits real propaganda but just in case they don't:) Cries. Screams. Wails. The woman who singlehandedly made me realize I was bi. A real "do i want to look like her. be her. or be with her.' crisis, where the answer was all three. Holy shit please all three.
Gene Tierney:
The entire plot of Laura is that a guy has to become completely obsessed with a woman after just seeing her portrait. This only works because Gene was cast in the role. I 10000% believe anyone could fall in love after seeing her face.
Those eyes! Just look at those eyes! She’s at her hottest in Leave Her To Heaven— I literally want her to ruin my life.
Absolute grade-A babe, she is the perfection incarnate.
Gene Tierney was beautiful, poised, intense. I associate her with roles where she was murderous or an intelligent woman being patronized to - like a woman on the edge! As far as I am concerned, she deserved to do whatever she wanted.
She had a slight overbite which was amazingly sexy, and a throaty voice that was very memorable as well. She’s terrific in Laura, which reminds me I should watch it again.
EYES!! Her diabolical acting in Leave Her to Heaven is just perfect, Rosamund Pike definitely took notes for her Gone Girl from her.
Oscar-nominated and simply one of the most beautiful women to ever walk this Earth.
Absolutely stunning. In Leave Her to Heaven, she reaches Rosamund-Pike-in-Gone-Girl levels of “holy fucking shit?!?!?!” She had a fling with JFK in the ‘40s and also dated the exes of Rita Hayworth and Hedy Lamarr (Prince Aly Khan and W. Howard Lee, respectively). Sadly, her daughter was born with a disability (during a time in which there were few good mainstream options for disabled children and their parents), likely because of a fan who was sick with measles and went out of her way to meet Tierney (who was pregnant) anyway. Topical! Sure would be good if people stayed home when they were sick! Anyway, she was also a Republican, which sucks. Laura and Leave Her to Heaven are great viewing though.
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Practice On Me — Part Nine — Azriel x Reader
Summary: Roza’s arrival in Windhaven brings some home truths crashing down on Reader. She just needs a hug, someone to talk to, but it all goes very, very wrong…
Word Count: 3k.
Warnings: None.
Chaos evades logic.
There is no rationality to be found here. No sense to be made of the ample feelings that begin to chew you up and spit you out.
All you know, as you lace your breeches up and correct yourself, is that you feel like you’ve been punched in the gut.
“Are you decent?” Roza calls, her back still to you.
You tie the last lace. Clear your throat. “All good.”
The closest person you’ve ever had to a mother figure turns on the spot. She’s absolutely beautiful — fucking glowing — her swollen belly visible through her thick coat, and her eyes alight with a quality you’ve never seen before.
Rhysand really is the mirror image of her.
“I actually cannot believe I just witnessed that.” She grouses. “And just when I thought the morning sickness had finally come to an end, too. My poor, poor eyes.”
Cassian makes a noise. “Roz, that’s a bit dramatic—”
“You be quiet.” She points a finger at him. “Your mouth has done quite enough tonight, thank you very much.”
The two of them stare at each other — Cassian wanting to be a little shit and push his luck, and Roza wanting to…
Well, to gouge her eyes out with a rusty spoon, probably.
But then Cassian cracks a grin, and he’s bounding over to the female like an excitable pup. “Fuck, I’ve missed you.”
“Watch your language.” Roza scorns, but she happily accepts the hug that Cass yanks her into. “Gods, you’ve grown even more.”
You…you are rooted to the spot. Unable to move.
You want to go over there, too. To embrace her. But…but just seeing Roza makes the previous couple of months come hammering down on you in an unwelcome downpour of unwanted realisations.
You think: Roza caught me fooling around with Cassian.
And then you think: Fucking hell, I fooled around with Cassian again.
And then you’re wondering how — how you’ve let the recent events of your life veer down such a beaten, broken path.
It’s like Roza’s appearance brings a clarity that has been very much absent as of late. She’s always been a figure of reason and wisdom, always stopped you from spiralling.
And now she’s here, you’re looking at Cassian — your damn friend — and wondering just how much damage you might have caused.
He’s mid-conversation with Roza when he seems to notice you staring at him. Roza notices, too.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” She says.
You open your mouth, unsure how you intend to respond. All that slips out is a rasped, “I’m just…so glad you’re here.”
Cassian snorts. “Tell that to your face.”
You can’t bring yourself to laugh at the jibe. And it would seem that Roza can’t, either. She’s studying you in that assessing way you’ve seen her wear a thousand times before — the one where the motherly instinct kicks in, and she’s sensing something is wrong. It seems to be a subconscious act, the way she slides her hand over her bump.
“So what are you doing back here, anyway?” Cassian asks her, slinging an arm round her shoulders. “I thought the High Lord wanted you to stay in Velaris for the pregnancy.”
“He does.” Roza says. “But then I found out Y/N had somehow ended up homeless and that he hadn’t bothered to help, so he and I aren’t on the best of terms right now.” She eyes you again. “I’ve come to move you properly into the cottage — including retrieving your belongings from your father’s house. I will not have you freezing your ass off in this dump.”
Gods, you love her.
She’s so fierce, so passionate. This is a female who housed three lost, rowdy children under her roof and offered them the same amount of love as she felt for her biological son. This is a female who does what she believes is right and damns the consequences. This is a female who doesn’t hesitate — not for one second — to help somebody in need.
She’s the exact kind of female you want yourself to be. And she’s the only person you wish to see in that moment.
“Perfect.” Cassian chirps brightly. “I’ll help. Let’s go fetch Y/N’s stuff from the bastard’s house right now.”
He takes a step towards the door, but Roza is laying a hand on his arm. She doesn’t look away from you once. “Cassian, my darling, I love you endlessly. And so, I say this with the greatest of adoration — fuck off to the mead hall, or something, and leave Y/N and I to have some girl time alone.”
“What?” He squawks in outrage. “But you just got here.”
“And I promise you we’ll catch up properly later. But right now, Y/N and I need some time alone.”
“But—”
“Do you want to stay and discuss the ins and outs of childbirth?”
Instantly, he falters. The change of tune would be comical if you were actually capable of feeling anything but despair in that moment.
“You know what?” He cracks a grin. “The mead hall sounds great right about now.”
Roza chuckles. “I thought it might. I’m taking Y/N back to the cottage. I’ll come and fetch you when we’re done. And if you see Az or Rhys, be sure to tell them to stay away, too.”
Oh.
This is going to be a serious talk.
You can’t remember the last time Roza was so insistent about it just being the two of you.
Probably when you got your first ever cycle, and she held and soothed and bathed you through it.
Will she still be so tender when she hears of the full scope of the mess you’ve created for yourself? You’re not sure you’d deserve it.
“Go easy, Cass.” Roza warns. “Don’t get into any fights.”
“Pff. As if I would.” Your friend lands a kiss on her cheek. “You look beautiful, Roz.” He says, and then he’s bustling out of the door without a care in the world.
You stare after him. Wish you could be that carefree. It feels…it feels impossible.
Gods, you just want to fucking cry.
Roza can see that. She holds a hand out.
“Come, my little dove.” She says. “Let’s get you home.”
✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ
It kind of feels like walking into the cottage for the very first time, all over again.
You remember that night like it happened only yesterday. Remember how the cold had felt as you’d followed Azriel through the snow. The noises of bickering coming from behind the door.
Even at eleven, Az had always seemed so much taller than you. You’d noticed that as he’d strode ahead and led you inside.
Roza had been standing in the kitchen, and she’d turned to you with a curious expression. “Oh.” She’d chirped, with more warmth than you’d ever heard from your own kin. “What have we here, then?”
You, Azriel had explained to her, had been set upon by a group of males far older than you. Az had defended you, and then he’d invited you to share his dinner.
Roza had taken one look at the dirt packed beneath your fingernails and told you to thoroughly wash your hands before taking a seat. You’d done just that.
And it was at that very table that Rhysand had introduced himself.
“I’m Rhysand. My father is the High Lord.”
Roza had scolded him for showing off.
And it was after that that Cassian had eyed you with a wild, feral look and simply said, “I bet I could beat you in an arm wrestle. I beat everyone.”
“Not at my dinner table, you don’t.” Roza had put a stop to that immediately. And then she’d placed a steaming pie in the centre of the table, and High Lords and arm wrestles were all but forgotten, and Azriel had been quiet and shy at your side, but dutifully offering you different foods before he took any for himself—
Standing at the threshold of the cottage, now…it’s like watching that entire scene play out before you. The ghosts of your younger, wayward selves feast greedily on a wholesome meal that lets you forget your harrowing experiences for a little while.
How things have changed.
You finally step in. Kick the door shut behind you. The smells and warmth of your sanctuary envelop you, and you know — you fucking know that you won’t be able to keep a lid on your tears for long.
“Don’t know how many times I’ve told those idiots to put the fire out before they leave the house.” Roza mutters, but she goes striding straight towards that burning fire and welcomes its warmth. “Although, I must admit, I’m a little impressed. I expected this place to be far messier in my absence than it is. Don’t tell me they’ve actually been cleaning—”
“Roza.” You cut in, your voice shaky, desperate. “About what you saw—”
She turns back to you. Says nothing as concerned, violet eyes sweep the length of your body. She’s letting you speak, but you don’t know what the fuck to say.
You open and close your mouth as though the act will make some sense of…any of this.
It doesn’t.
“I didn’t realise you and Cassian were…” Roza clears her throat. Pauses. “I just…what of Azriel, Y/N?”
You blink at her.
Roza’s very good at knowing things she hasn’t been told, but for her to know about you and Az when she’s been in Velaris this whole time, and when, as far as you’re aware, these things have been strictly kept between you and Azriel only—
“What?” You breathe.
“Perhaps I’m wrong, I don’t know.” She frowns. “But I always suspected that you and Az would be…something more. Your connection with him has always run a little deeper than with anyone else. That’s why I was so shocked when I found you…and Cass…”
Is she wrong?
No.
And fucking damn you for taking all these years to see it. Fucking damn you for only realising you wanted Azriel as more than just your friend when somebody else began to recognise his brilliance.
Fucking damn you for all of this, and damn Azriel, too, and damn everyone.
It all comes showering down on you in an instant, harsh and unwelcome.
You love Azriel. Not just in the way you love Rhysand and Cassian. You’re in love with his soul, his spirit. Who he is will always be tethered to who you are, even though he isn’t yours to cling onto. It’s been that way since you were old enough to harbour such feelings, and you’ve been burying it all these years, burying it under bad choices and regrettable actions, because all of that seemed easier to face, than…this. The fact that you were never able to control your heart, stop it from feeling such things, and now you feel them so intensely that it hurts.
Had your deal with Az ever really been about helping him, or had it been a selfish ruse under which you could have some small experience to remember him by when he inevitably gave his heart to somebody else?
Because you are just Y/N. You’ve always just been Y/N.
You are not Kaeda — Kaeda with the wings, and the strength, and the excellence.
Just Y/N. Just Y/N—
“Speak to me, my love.” Roza steps closer. “I’m worried about you.”
Your eyes blur with tears. Your legs buckle, and you’re bracing one hand on the back of the couch while the other flies up to cup over your mouth.
“Oh, gods, what have I done?” Your voice breaks.
“Speak to me.” Roza says again.
“This is all such a mess.”
“What is, Y/N?”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I don’t know what—what to do!”
“You need to breathe.” She responds firmly. “Deep breaths. Now.”
You try. Gods, you try. But your chest is constricting, and the air won’t reach your lungs, and all you can hear on a constant loop inside your head is one, bellowing sentence.
Everything is irreversibly changed.
Roza closes the gap between you and cups your face. The touch is soft, but firm. She forces you to look at her, and her face is blurred by your tears, but you know she’s looking at you how she’s always looked at you — with love.
“Tell me what’s going on, and I can help you through it.” She pleads.
“I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.” You sob back.
She yanks you close, arms wrapping around you. She’s held you like this through so, so much. This is no different.
But it feels different, in that it feels worse. Not only is it possible that your actions could change your relationships with both Cassian and Azriel, but also that they could change their relationship with each other, too — change the strong, steadfast dynamic between your three closest friends.
You tremble, clinging to Roza like you may just collapse. Your heartbeat gallops in your ears like rhythmic footfalls.
“Y/N—”
“It all turned into a total mess.” You choke out. “I was feeling things — I am feeling things — and then Azriel had Kaeda and I was jealous and stupid and I — I shouldn’t have done it. I shouldn’t have slept with Cassian.”
“You did what?”
Those three, outraged words are not spoken in Roza’s voice. The sudden interjection of Azriel’s is enough for your sobs to catch in your throat.
Every single inch of your body goes cold as you step back to look at him. Blink at him. Roza fights to keep hold of you.
Normally, he would have hurried over to embrace her. But he stays rooted to the last step of the staircase. He’s staring at you. Only you.
You’ve never seen him look so pale.
“Az.” Roza sighs softly. “We didn’t realise you were home.”
He doesn’t look away from you — not once — as he asks, “What did you just say?”
Roza inches towards him. “I think we all need to sit down and talk about this—”
“You fucked Cassian?”
Tears spill over, roll down your cheeks. Your voice doesn’t want to show itself as you croak out, “Az, I can explain.”
“You fucked Cassian?” He’s repeating it like…like he needs to. Like it won’t get into his head any other way. “You had sex with him?”
“Yes, but—”
“Around the time you and I were doing similar things?”
Roza’s head whips round to you in surprise. You’d failed to mention that bit. After a moment, she rights herself once more. “Azriel, you should let her speak.”
“I can’t fucking believe you.” Letting you speak is the last thing on his mind as he steps down, storming past the two of you. You reach out for him, but he’s jerking away, heading for the door.
“Azriel, please.” Your voice cracks. “Let me explain.”
“Explain that you fucked Cass? At the same time that I was sharing such…such huge things with you—”
“At the same time you were sharing them with Kaeda!”
He falls still, hand faltering on the doorknob, shoulders hunched.
And then he glances over his shoulder at you with an expression so bleak, you’d do anything, make a bargain with anyone, to wipe it from his face.
“Except that I’ve never touched Kaeda like that.” He says. “Not once. I couldn’t.”
Before you’re capable of summoning an answer, he’s yanking the door open and thundering out into the snow.
Shock pulses through you, ice-cold and harrowing. You blink, and blink and blink and blink, and you think Roza might be saying your name, but you can only choke out another sob that grates against your throat, and then your legs are moving forward, stumbling out of the door.
“Az, wait!” You cry, but he’s already striding far into the distance. “Please!”
You try to move, but it’s like the snow is binding your ankles, grounding you firmly to the spot. You sob. Try to move. Fall. Get up. It’s cold and wet. You’re hurting. Everything’s hurting.
And somebody’s yelling — yelling at you.
“Hey!” You know the voice. It’s a voice you don’t like. But you can’t put a face to it until its owner is stopping in front of you, sneering at you. Lord Devlon. “What did I tell you about staying away from these parts, girl?”
You’re incapable of answering him. You’re not even looking at him. You just stare and stare in the direction that Az disappeared in, fat, hot tears rolling down your cheeks.
“I’m talking to you.” Devlon grabs your chin between his fingers, hard. “Insolent female—”
“Remove your hand from her face at once.”
He blinks at the sight of Roza stepping out of the cottage. Clearly, he had no clue she’d returned. And even he won’t speak out against the High Lord’s pregnant mate.
He drops his hand immediately.
Roza steps up to your side and narrows her gorgeous eyes at him. Her hand sits on her swollen belly. “Look at you, Lord Devlon — following orders like a good dog. Now, go on. Fuck off.”
There’s a slight twitch of a muscle as he clenches his jaw. He hates every second of it, but he obediently turns away from you.
“Oh — Lord Devlon?” Roza calls after him.
He stops. Turns. “Yes, lady?”
“I decide who can and cannot live in my house.” She stares him down. “That call is mine and mine alone. And if I hear of you giving Y/N any more trouble? I’ll rip your fucking throat out.”
She turns her back to him with utter dismissal. If you weren’t so devastated, you might laugh at his stunned expression.
But Roza sees the pain in your eyes, and she pulls you into her arms.
“Come, my love.” She murmurs softly. “Let’s get you inside.”
az tags: @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @sirenpearldust @queercodedcharacter @azriels-shadowsinger @ruler-of-hades @demi03 @magicaldragonlady @abrielletargaryen @ralsieq @v3lv3tf0x @achase2002 @feyretopia @hayrunnwr @don’t-feed-the-hipsters @brekkershadowsinger @piceous21 @bloodicka @acourtofinkandpapyrus @riri-is-agirlie @siriusement @4valyries @socmono @azriels-mate123 @acourtofbatboydreams @katherinearcheron @nesemi @lupinswolfsbanes @dreaming-unafraid @dxnniiix @cyrygher @liddyr03 @lmllsl @nightless @teenageeggscissorslawyer @brighterthanlonelythoughts @blitz-fall @maybefoxysouls @mschanand1erbong @juiceboxreads @bangtanbecks @florencemtrash @hyemishii @obixix @thenovarose @meshellexplosionmurder @angzlxna @lissy31xoxo-blog @supernatural99 @positivewitch @art3-m1ss @milfhunter-pdx @bbuckysbeardd @coralseacourt @towhateverend87 @sspookz @bird-on-the-wire33 @morrie-rose @megwan @catscanteleport @sevikas-whore @thickthighs-sadeyes
#azriel#azriel shadowsinger#azriel x reader#shadowsinger x reader#azriel acotar#azriel x you#azriel fic#acotar#a court of thorns and roses#acotar fandom#acotar x reader#acotar writing#acotar fanfic#acotar headcanon#acotar smut#acotar series#acotar fic#azriel fanfiction#azriel fanfic#reader insert#illyrians#rhysand#cassian
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