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what-thisiscrazzzy · 24 days

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Okay I just wrote and essay on soap operas and while doing this is read Glen Creeber’s ‘serial television’ where he discussed the hybridisation of the soap opera and its characteristic of the ‘flexi- narrative’ and I want to talk about how this applies to 911 on ABC especially with the season 6 ending and the season 8 renewal 3 episodes into its new season.

Disclaimer: I don’t want to write a whole essay on this and i dont fully have an idea where im going with this. this is just me rambling.

Firstly Creeber defines the soap opera as: A continuous, never-ending drama series usually set around the domestic and intimate lives of a small community that explicitly resists narrative closure.

The 'flexi-narrative' is the characteristic of soap operas where there are multiple narratives running separately and with different tones. not all of these narratives will reach a complete conclusion, some trailing off and some left open for further exploration. This creates a sense of realism as real life continues on and doesnt have a conclusion.

Additionally, Christine Geraghty explains that realism in soaps is also built by the way that the narrative continues without the viewer creating the sense that they live a day to day life beyon what the viewer can observe.

A quick explanation of hybridisation is that elements such as the flexinarrative and the focus on close interpersonal relationships rather than larger overarching plotlines and politics. Within the text that I'm referring to there is a discussion of how shows based on work places become less about the jobs and more about these relationships.

John Wilsher (who is quoted in this book) states that essentially all drama is becoming a soap opera with these more personal stories, this is stated like a negative by him but I personally find these narrative more interesting as they become more psychological and allow for a discussion of more personal topics and political implications.

But basically what is being said is the drama now is a sort of hybrid with soap operas and has adapted to include the flexi-narrative and a focus on more personal narrastives.

This is where my thoughts come to 911 and its move to ABC. The previous season of 911's ending was created with the knowledge that the show would most likely be cancelled (i don't know at what point the writers where aware of this but i think it can be assumed that the season didn't start with this confirmed and/or known) this meant that everything had to be wrapped up, every story line must come to a form of conclusion. I think it can be easily said that most viewers and fans found the conclusion as unsatisfying due to the choices made by writers. However, I think to an extent no conclusion would be satisfying as 911 is a show that benefits and thrives on the flexi-narrative. In a sense it is a hybrid of the soap opera similar to most modern procedurals and within this is the expectation that it will feature continuous plot lines and refer back to its past stories. This can be seen in the various 'Buck' iterations, the acknowledgement of Buck's character progression. A large part of 911 is the personal development of characters like Buck but also Bobby and his alcoholism, Hen's family and its occasional issues and celebrations, Chim and his journey with relationships and Maddie with overcoming abuse and developing a healthy family. Any final conclusion to 911 will feel unsatisfying as the show has built on the sense of realism, these characters have been shown to experience life beyond the plot and to write it to a close feels unnatural.

I also believe the way they chose to conclude specifically Bucks story did feel rush, if anything if they didn't have time to give him a fully developed love interest then they should have returned to a previous iteration of the couch metaphor and had him happy single or continue looking for love with a healthier mind set. To give him a concrete close without the time to set up a fulfilling future feels odd even if you have no investment in Buddie or if you did have investment in his relationship with Natalia. The narrative structure of 911 creates the pattern that there is no happy ending, they just continued development. The ending of season 6 didn't create a sense that Buck will develop more, his new relationship felt almost closed. I think a comparison to this is Eddie's ending which did feel like a closing but instead like a slightly new beginning (I don't personally like Marisol but this isnt about opinions of the love interest but instead how she is introduced) as it was an opening to Eddie developing past... well his past.

Anyway this is all to say that the renewal of 911 after 3 episodes of season 7 does sit well with this comparison to soap operas in terms of its benefits. 911 works better when the writers can write these flexi-narratives that are continuous and could last not just for a season but beyond that. I think that's sort of where 911 has suffered as it sometimes tries to close narratives that don't require closure or are ended too early. Such as the Buckley parents, that's a narrative that could have been taken through multiple seasons and even with forgiveness it could be something that could be further discussed. But season 8 being renewed allows the writers the safety to write continuous stories that don't need to be concluded by the end of the season. I think in general 911 thrives when it doesn't try to close things and instead continues on. A wedding isn't the ending of the dating era but a new beginning, a death isn't the end but a way to explore its ramifications, etc.

This was all just me rambling bc i had to read a bunch of stuff for uni and 911 was on my brain but ultimately what i want to get at is procedural shows such as 911 benefit more from being treated as soap operas or at least using the characteristics they have inherited to its advantage and if they are given the freedom to create long running and never ending personal narratives they can develop a more satisfying story.

This all made more sense in my head sorry

#911 abc #911 on abc #911 season 7 #evan buckley #evan buck buckely #eddie diaz #what can i actually tag that actually applies #i dont want to be someone who tags unrelated things #911onabc #911 show #film and television #tv shows #oliver stark #ryan guzman #911 fox #911 #911 s7 #911 meta #meta

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violet-moonstone · 5 months

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the MCU's rhetoric about political resistance/change is often so insidious. the only time we see people who want to change the status quo, theyre destructive and often incapable of feeling compassion for anyone outside of the group theyre fighting for. so the only two options are siding with the cruel antagonist who wants real change and the heroes who will make small concessions so that the audience feels good but ultimately they uphold the harmful status quo. I'm not saying this doesn't happen in real life, but when a trope pretty much becomes the default, you start to see the writer's political messages coming out. ESPECIALLY when the primary threat comes from exploited working class people/oppressed minorities and not the colonialist powers and corporations that put them in that position.

sidenote: when i watched black panther 2 and realized that the primary conflict was going to be black people fighting indigenous people and that western hegemony and exploitation of resources was just a side plot, I immediately lost all hope for that film. I loved the music, the visuals and the fight scenes, but the writing?? i was so disappointed. All the dissatisfaction I felt from Black Panther 1 came flooding back. Before they were pitting us against each other, this time it was against another oppressed group...hhhhhhh. anyway jokes on me for expecting different. I really just need to read The Deep (and if its anything like the song its based on, its probably much better executed than wakanda forever).

anyway, yes, the audience has the freedom to see things with nuance but i dont think most people will (because "its just a fun superhero move, why are you taking it so seriously?"), and I dont think the writers want them to - otherwise they'd start including more nuanced characters rather than villains who we are shown have to be defeated for the greater good, no matter how valid their arguments may be. and I understand that the vast majority of people are not watching superhero movies looking for nuance and depth but thats all the more reason why so much of the MCU's writing is concerning. Every time we're faced with a troubling political/ecological debate, the conclusion is that whoever tried to change things was in the wrong, and we'll make a small concession at the end so everyone feels somewhat satisfied and doesn't really have to confront any uncomfortable implications.

ex: infinity war shows us Thanos' eco fascism as the main (and only?) criticism of the overconsumption of resources. I may be wrong but I don't remember anyone talking about sustainability as vital solution or anything...and in FATWS the conversation is STILL about the pros and cons of the Snap - not anything to do with sustainability...because that would require the audience to be confronted with real life political implications that are bit too close to home. Even to have one or a few characters suggest an alternative and for Thanos to shoot it down because he doesn't trust people to be sustainable, and because he truly thinks killing people is the best possible plan (which makes no sense btw because it implies that all species are overpopulated at the same and that every single species in the universe consumes resources in the same way..they made movie!Thanos *seem* so intelligent but his thought process literally makes no sense. and fans bend over backwards to justify it because "hes the mad titan" even though you clearly cant use that defense based on the way he's written in the film. The writers clearly want us to see him as rational but cruel...anyway its not 2018 so let me stop beating the dead horse of this tired topic)

basically, theres rarely (if ever) a middle between the two extremes, because theres no room for that. There has to be a good guy and a bad guy...perhaps a well intentioned and misguided bad guy, but ultimately still a bad guy. The options are: pretty much nothing but minor things change and the problem still exists OR everything changes but it would require the violent villain getting their way and killing innocent people in the process.

anyway thank god for the spiderverse , which actually does the opposite (and thank god spiderverse is not directly part of the MCU and the writers actually have something to say). I think the loki show may be doing something similar but im not caught up so idk. loki to me feels like spiderverse but with less narrative cohesion

#mcu criticism #marvel criticism #say what you will about the boys but at least it has a message thats not half as wishy washy as the mcu

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limpfisted · 6 months

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While I would prefer to make it so that wyll has more agency over his own narrative

I find it extremely interesting he just CANT make decisions by himself

Like to me, that's a character beat!

Like he can make a decision to sacrifice himself, and to hurt people he thinks "deserve" it, again and again, but by the end of the game, he no longer trusts himself to make that kind of decision

He was wrong about karlach. Who knows how many other "devils."

Given the choice between himself and his father. His father, who WILL most likely have a good after life, and in dnd u know like. After life's exist, and are much longer than human lifespans and wyll is fully cognizant of like. The fact his father won't really suffer when he dies, like wyll will for all of eternity

He doesn't trust himself. He thought he couldn't get out of his pact. He had given up on his freedom. He BELIEVED in his choice. And now... now he doesn't know what to believe. He knows you are his PROTECTOR and his light in the darkness, his light in the dysphoriq and the realization he has been more corrupted by this deal (not just physically. Again. How many more karlachs were there.) And he had learned THROUGH you just how bad his "learned helplessness" is while also mozora drives down the point that he IS trapped, he IS punished, and he still doesn't know what he'll do without her and it's like

Of course he can't fucking decide, man

Thats an impossible choice for HIM. If u look at everything u learn about him. This is the ultimate evil move on mizoras side because she LET you dangle freedom over wyll. His pact wasn't even completely broken. He still had six more months. And u know what? Before he met you, wyll might have just have gone on like this with mizora indefinitely. Never being able to tell people about mizora or his Father. How is he supposed to get close enough to someone, for them to show him what his freedom really means?

You MADE it an impossible choice. Befor3 this adventure he would have simply sold his soul again. No questions asked. Hes had just a taste of freedom, though. Just a taste of personhood. He has friends now. He has people he can genuinely trust who aren't MANIPULATING him or keeping him on a leash

He NEEDS you. He trusts you! You saved him.

He literally. He literally just can't make this decision alone and whatever you choose for him hell stand by

And that's great! That's a great flaw and arc!

If the game had taken this to its conclusion and had like. A scene like astarion at his grave where wyll just takes you aside and tells you. Thank you for choosing for me. Thank you for being MY light. I trust you. I dont know what I'm doing anymore. I'm scared and lost and this is all so overwhelming. All I have had for seven years is mizora. Before that all I had was my father. I dont know how to choose myself and not them. I still don't. But I know I was right to choose to be by your side.

This is a GREAT and IMPORTANT narrative about abuse, about trust, about "heroism."

But there's no... conclusion. The iron throne/steel foundry/wyrm/gortash is this big epic quest 2hich is basically a whole act in and of itself centered basically entirely around wylls life and wylls arc and wyll and his Father (also saving the world, but baldurs gate is WYLLS. No one else can become Duke but wyll.) But wyll doesn't really get the chance to react

Like broe? Honestly. If you just add a bunch of wyll reaction and maybe even something as simple as SOME MORE DIALOGUE TREES, doesn't even have to be like a whole cutscene!. This is a compelling narrative! By itself! You don't really need to change stuff! Wyll is an INTERESTING CHARACTER! Just add some stuff!!!

Me @ larian. If yall don't get theo Solomon back in that mo cap suit right now talking about his trauma as explicitly as astarion got to

He is NOT boring. He is just the greatest victim of the act 3 curse. Help

#ooc #hc

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blueeandyellowmakesgreen · 2 years

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What do you think of Millie saying that mildew’s relationship is stronger than ever now after season 4? I know she probably doesn’t know how season 5 is gonna go but it’s kind of making me lose my confidence a little about Byler /:

i understand that, and i honestly felt the same initially, then i realized it literally doesnt matter. actors always put their two cents in interviews, but its not a reliant source because they dont write the show. millie also had a number of questionable takes to begin with, such as preferring brenner as el's more prominent father figure than hopper apparently; its yikes

i also believe this with brett. his opinions about byler gives me reassurance that we're not delusional, and its nice to see people from the cast talk about it in a positive light, but its not something im completely relying on. i mostly just treat it as crumbs

noah is kind of a different case because he literally plays will, so im giving his statements a bit more credibility even if hes a little biased with byler.

but other than that, dont fret anon :)

look back to the various evidence we collected in the past 3 months. look at the tumblr follower count. in the rate we're growing, we're gonna surpass de*tiel. it shows we're far from wrong in how we interpret the show and mike and will's relationship.

look at the ratio between malware and byler from all social med sites when it comes to content.

look at the script poll votes where barely anyone voted for the monologue, even with the bylers' help.

and lastly, the most important evidence of all, just have to look at the clear visual hints and narrative cues in the show. will has done nothing but lose in the show. the most basic of conflicts when it comes to a good story is giving the character struggles in order to give them the most satisfying conclusion. they established will's wants this season, and that want is spending the rest of his life with mike. if they dont give him that, its not a satisfying ending, and it simply doesnt make narrative sense if it doesnt give some form of catharsis to the audience after emphasizing on his struggles so much for 4 seasons straight. they want us to feel for him, to feel sorry for him. with this said, they are basically obligated to give him his ideal happy ending. and that ending only makes sense with mike.

also consider the framing of byler's shots specifically, the way they approached the individual arcs with mike, el and will.

remember that s4 is supposed to make you feel like you lost, and that includes the characters. will thought he lost mike, but with how mike confided and reassured will in the end as his final moment, and not with el, is crucial. consider the fact theyre bringing back older dynamics and they will not be introducing new characters in the final season. and also obviously, the framing of the final scene.

this got long but i totally feel you, byler doubt is the worse orz i hope this helped a little bit to alleviate that ^^

#byler #and if we’re wrong im still gonna ship it bc apparemtly my brain is bigger than the duffers’ lol #fuck them if they do

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stry-someone-to-remember-you · 1 year

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Didn't have much for you today. Concept Art!!!

So I thought I'd share a color sheet I did back in early November 2022 when I finally came to a conclusion of Dave's final look.... this isnt the Final Look, but the first sketch of what became his final look.

I made this in November on my phone. I was playing around with character colors then.

Also...

This post is my confirmation....

Dave's name is for the comic.

DEWEY

*Hands shaking*

*Breaths in...*

*Breath Out

BREATH IN!!!

Now...

I have something I've been needing to admit for a while now.

It's not bad....

But...

It's about the story....

It's still coming out 😅😅😅(soon actually)...

Dont worry about that....

So what's up?

I want to make sure I've told you... This Comic is officially ONLY inspired by Henry Stickmin.

This comics been 3 years in the making, along with the novel that I write along side this... and 6 months in, back in 2021 around May, when I literally found out Google docs has a character limit which all my notes and writings by then exceed.... I came to a hard choice. With how hard I've been working on this, do I make it original or keep it fanbased?

It was a long thought. But... after 1 1/2 years going back and forth, over this time I let several people I've known for years look at it. Many who are trusted... and they all without knowing my dilemma gave me the same advice "Make it Inpsired, cause I want to see this published" (talking about the novel and little comic stuff they saw).

By this last summer, around when my surgery and emergency happened I made my decisions after on of the last people asked to see it and told me the exact same words.

After several gave me the advice. I decided, what my gut was telling me six 6months in was this needed to be it's own work. I already was changing so much and... honeslty it's the best decision I made for the comic.

Starting August the comic and the novel have grown immensely (as though a short work break also halted it, it hadn't grown more then several pages since tranferijg from google doc). I already planned on changing the art *hense the few pics I posted with faces not exactly proportional, early concepts from the early days of changes already being made). The comic will be made more manga human style. But that's not to say their wont be an occasional non human entities about.🤪😏😉😉😉

I couldn't thank the people people who all told me to go a different t direction or even all you still supporting me and those who supported me since the start. I HOPE YOU STAY AREPUBD FOR THE COMIC STILL... with this know . I hope it's cool to still post the old art work. And if it's okay with you since this was completely inspired by Henry Stickmin, I still hope to post in the fandom. Comic updates and such.

How will You Know Who People, Places or Things Are?

I'll make changes clear, especially when asked.

I had to make these for copyright reasons, including characters and such. But most should have something about them that makes it clear who they are or were in the original game.

I will say the direction while headed the same way... their are definetly story lines as a original work I didn't plan on or at least wasnt headed towards, or used as some inside joke that was a red herring to make you guys think maybe I was headed a direction to throw people off. But with the changes made even that has become a actual plot and no longer is a joke hint.

But all elements from codes, secret languages, mysteries, and the overall story have remained. They've like everything else just grown from what they were. So have the characters. Some character aspects and personalities may have slightly changed but otherwise their still I hope going to be enjoyable to you guys and you can see who they were inspired by.

Wait CODES (SPILL THE COFFEE!!!😱😱😱 WWWHHHAAAAAAAAATTT!!!)

Yep😉😏😊 Its a secret I've been keeping a long time. You can look back at my oldest posts on the S.T.R.Y page give you a hint if you look far enough of codes being a thing.

How are you using them???

WAIT is this...😶😉😏 Like that

TWINS OREGON MYSTERY Show with a certain evil force Type Deal???

😏😏😏

Ding... ding... ding...

we have a winner. WInner Winner Chicken Diner...! However, the types of codes used may change up so keep a look out. You don't know the lengths I'll go even in the fan art... to hide secrets (mahaha!!!)

Phew you dont know How Nervous I am Admitting this...

I'M SUPER NERVOUS!!!

But hey that's the fun if it.😊😊😊 Right???😅

This post is along time coming.

I've made different ones, but I honestly get so nervous about this. Admiting it's just inspired fandom piece but not a fancomic. One that Hope's to become a novel and thus I had to make changes in order to have no issues with copyrights.

Theirs things that allude to game events. But they dont happen the same more like the idea of the evtns is there but they rent the same events.

Just the idea of something that you can pinpoint, like Oh this is a reference to that experience in game. But it's a completely different tale, different journey with several new characters and characters similar to those you love while being their own. However, if asked I will confirm if a character is fully inspired by a HS Character or are their own entity.

Alot of characters from in game I used aren't often seen characters anyways. But I still dont want to fringe on copyright. Some may have a single name similar. But it's rare. In some characters I kept like an Initial the same. But names came ot have meaning in the story, so I can't promise for how many this remains true as names changed a few times before locking in as they are now.

EX.

I admit Ruperts name I still haven't changed but the rest of his name is changed. It's just I got in the habit of saying Rupi or Rup depending on the character talking and I got to attached to it...if I have to change it maybe I'll go for Ruberto... Or Something that way. But I like rupi especially as Rupi used to be a form of money, the name... in the old story this held some importance.... so it's something that changed while the rest of the character remained. In other words they have human apperances as previously stated and because this was original those who had hair I couldn't give their old hair styles. It was hard but I found stuff I liked for everyone. Oddly enough it worked out cause funny envy RHMs hair I had in mind was a nightmare to draw. I wasnt looking forward to drawing it, but I coukdnt find other ways I liked ti. This allowed me to go a completely new direction. (HE'S still a Red Head)

It's also why I've been so careful with what I post Admiting this has been one of the hardest things for me.

I hope you guys still will still strick around and enjoy what I will bring. It's still a fan work being inspired. It's just the names won't be what you expect. And the world though similar isn't the same.

Will all the favs show:

YES!!!

Yes favorite characters will show, most of the mains have a character of somesort that who they are is greatly inspired by them..

Henry-The character whose this stories Henry Character, DOES HAVE POWERS SIMILAR to the game... Powersare important to the story.... But I did have to make rules and differences so they arent a copy of them..

Because of this, I will have characters that Allude to all the favorites (Also same favorite ships... Copperright is part of this story... just they are the same while they arent... their names arent the same nor are their features but one still has brown hair the other red. And yes they run a "Mysterious Clan" of Thieves that a branch fo the Government called the BATs (Battalion Against Terrorism) goes particularly after.

Sadly,

There are characters who didn't make it in, I intended to have everyone as a fan work earlier. But its a lot of work, then there were the original characters since the "Main Main" character would have different people she'd run into as her story was going on kn the background of the game, and long after... It just even when a fan work didnt make sense to have all characters. My least favorite cut was not having Policeman Panza in it. I really wanted to fit him in... it just didnt work out.

WILL asks still be a thing???

YES!!!! ABSOLUTELY!!!!

How????

Simple, I will still be making short comics on occassion that aren't part of the weekly updated ones. And this is where characters can still have interactions. I'm considering using the simplified more Stickminverse version of the characters, kinda also so the comic never loses its inspirations and where it got its start from.

SO Asks, Anon Magic Fun, all that will still be a a part of it. Just not within the main comic. But maybe some things still will occure in comic we'll see. It's literally up in the air situation.

Do familiar places still show up???

Confidently YES!!!

Bats has alot of meaning like Batsh@t crazy. You chat be just anyone to be in that chain if service. Most civilians dont even know it exists.😏😏😏 why is that???

What are the GOV'T must a new form, their own branch of armed forces. As stated above Battalion Against Terrorism.

But the people who are recruited also, aren't the easiest to work with, often are the ones who'd ahve been sent home. But if they ahve potential often they're recruited for a league that need those who dont have a normal mind of a soldier to go up against the GENTS...

GE TS, I'll explain another time what they stand for. As theres some spoiler territory I dont want to get into.

The Wall, shows in a new prison form (the design I came up with looks like a creepy medieval Boss level prison)😬😬😬😬

It's a name people dont want to evoke I fear of disappearing. Even those who work there arent safe... or gaure teeded sanity. You either disapear or you dont come out the same.

It's called 'The Grave Pits'

It's even nastier then the name may sound. It's not someplace you want to work or be prisoner.

Lastly,

CCC

Exists as, CAC or CATCA. I don't want to say the name fully now. I think I did in a prior post. But if I ddint I want to lime GENTS acronym keep the meaning secret. Otherwise, whoops of I ddi say it in a prior post.😅😅😅

Actually all of these decisions most civilians dont knwo about or believe are TALL Tales.... WHY IS THAT????

You'll have to find out in the story.

(Yes unlike HS world most of these places arent known by the greater populace and most are sworn to secrecy about them. The only widely known somewhat confirmed real is Grave Pits. Only die to the state that Anyone Employee or Prisoner goes in they dont come out!) Theres more going on in its depths if you care to dig.😈😈😈

All the usual sites as described will be seen but obviously dont have the same look and while a similar function dont serve under the same reasoning eaxactly... Just in new ways.

Towns and cities, are another thing that obviously changed and the direction I'm going, I decided to make completely new landscapes. Do we start in a desert town/city with a corrections facility/jail Yes.... but the surroundings even the layout of the Jail is different. Has different functions, etc.

Is there a city with hinted mob activy.

DDOUBLE YES!!!😊😊😊 That I couldn't pass up... But the cities different. It also services a new purpose and focus then in game for the story. It's become something totally different then the site of a museum. Obviously Dewey, as you can tell is originally Dave Panpa and will still be a Sevurity guard. He just doesn't have the same events happen. And while a Museum lime that in the game, will play a small roll. It's not going to be the same purpose it held in the game. Nor the main place of his work. Thus the whole purpose of teh city is completely changed...... and as stated there's a prison like The Wall (*cough* the Wall seems tame in comparison when this place is introduced *cough*😅😙🎶🎶 Had nightmares after writting its first introduction. It wont be the giant of heart when things occure there.)

Like I said everything will show, you can easily see what was inspired by. But in order to be its own work it holds a lot of it own location, sites, stories and such.

It's really exciting. And I do hope everyone stays with me for it.

I've just been so nervous admiting this. I need to finally say it all clearly.

So is ths another blah.... blah.... blue BORING Convolutedly llloooooooooooooooooooooonnnggg Worded Super wordy Post???

😊😅😅😅 LOL, You definetly spotted my bad habit.

<<<Maybe I should thi I of having a moderator to help!!!😅😅😅>>>

BUT Nope,...

I BRING YOU

Timeline UPDATES: PROGRESS AND POSTS TO COME!!!

I will in the next few days post the Valentines art (my hours are still off after taking care of my grandma and being up at graveyard shifts from dusk to dawn in that order with her... So I admit my bearing on time for the next few weeks may be askew and off)....😅😅😅

Once I have that, I'm going to have for the Five main characters a little sneak surprise art that shouldn't take more then two weeks to have all of them out if all goes well.. just like a little teaser reveal of them.

Then within a week or two following that (due to Holidays East and Mothers Day occuring by these times I'm also giving leeway fo three qeeks)

Then I'll post the five main characters profiles, maybe a height chart if I get around to it.

After then. I should be Posting my Henry Stickmin Art from original concepts of characters ect when it was a fan comic exclusively... and/or Comic art periodically at least once a week. Or at least some form of an update.

AM I STILL MAKING HENRY STICKMIN ART??? Yes

I will admit, I'm still making Henry Stickmin art. I still have a few Animatics that have either been in the works or planned for a while. (When you have a song that inspires you... you cant help it... you know what I mean)😊😉 So I'm still Making Henry Stickmin Art. I can promise you that. Some are big projects.

Also dont forget S.T.R.Y wasn't my First Planned HS comic. I still plan to work more on the first comic I had. I just am focused on this one. But have looked at in, as mentioned in a late last year update and I like what I had. I just have more work to do on it.

But this is FAR FRON THE END oF me MAKING HENRY STICKMIN COMICS AND WORK.... So if that's what you want.... My main blog will be the place for it.😊😉💗🤩😍

RELEASE DATE???

I've done a rough estimate. And long as everything goes well I should have some form of the comic out to you by the the next several months. I can't gaurentee if that's 2-or six months. Again I periodically help take care of family members and am currently job hunting. I just know it will be soon.

As shown concept for a later scene was made a while back in rough sketch form and posted a progress in February about it.

That shows how far this is coming.

I am doing something different. I'm treating the comic like a novel, so I plan to long as I get a job soon and have the first ten chapters where I want them see if I can get professional beta readers (and if theres such thing as an editor and beta readers for a web comic). And also I hope to get an editor. If you notice I even when tedious miss mistakes in words and grammar (mostly cause I'm using my janky phone and not my laptop) and am constantly editing thanks to it l, as I'm a perfectionist. I know that can't happen in posted work. So I kinda need that for myself. I know its gunna cost money to hire. And I want to see if there are ones in the industry who would work with a weekly webcomic format.

What are the comic plans???

Currently, the plan I have in place after doing research is going to be to have the first 10 chapters done before the first chapters are posted. Posting three the first day and from then on once a week.

I say I want the first ten done. As the last three years have allowed me to know my schedule and with a job that demanded alot of me prior I have a better feeling of that type of work and what it will take to get this done. This will allow me to stay ahead and not have to many breaks between.

If there are Holidays then I will jump to a fun mini comic episode rather then post a regular post. Cause I think it's nice to have a break fun one. Even if the middle of the story.

The comic will contain a MULTITUDE of arcs. Be warned small details may become important later. (There are small details hidden in my Dave Panpa pic that have not changed in the comic... as are early post tags have some strange wording???)🤪🤪🤪

[Honeslty, good luck deciphering those codes from my old posts. SADLY, I lost my personal notes of a key for them. I've looked high and low on my devices and where I would save them. I seriously, Can't find them anywhere. Honestly, if you crack those codes I did leave let me know. I'm glad it happened since it allowed me to find a new way to save these for the future]

The Story so far is split into what I've been calling when talking about the comic 3 ACTS and when talking Novel 3 BOOKS

SO to say the least it's a big story. But it's worth it. It's a journey and I have fun writting it. It's all planned out just haven't finished writting the whole thing. I have my outline and timeline of events locked in. So dont worry it's a work that knows where its headed. and what needs to happen to get to the end.

Lastly, I should Mention:

The DEEADED PATREON and Tumblr Pay:

WHAT OD I HOPE TO ACCOMPLISH WITH THEM????

Not now, but closer to the comic I have plans.

I've decided for myself since I can't put humor, lightheartedness or fun little stories like the end of some webcomics or even some animes after credits theres usually a simple fun little goofy comic.

I'll be having either a goofy comic or some mini comic based on some even in the story. These will use simplified versions of the characters. But they could appear like full versions. This is so whne I'm dealing with heavier topics, for me I cja find a place to get the edge off. And I feel this will be the incentive I will post there, along with early looks at the art. And some early access.

But otherwise I'm not blocking you guys from enjoying the comic. Because it deals with secrets. I'm not going to post the comic early, I'll give sneak peaks on there. But that's it, they won't give away that weeds codes or anything like that.

I want to make it a fair system.

I only have them started but not set up. I'm in no way obliging anyone to support me on those sites. I just want to qualm worries, and give the promise of what I'll be doing. I may eventually release those fun minuses on here.without the pay. But I can guarentee those will have long times between. And it's not a gaurentee yet. Like I said I'm trying ot work out a system so no one feels there missing out on some fun they can have here.

Are these minisodes the same asks the asks ans other fub???

No that will remain here. The ones that will be in there are purely ones I come up with for each episode. I'm thinking Peanuts stule strip tyle situation. So hey if that's your jam, I'll let you no more when I ahve the structure of these more planed out.

SO THOSE OF YOU WHO HATE MENTIOSN OF IT... Don't worry I'M ONLY MENTION IT TO PROMISE to you that I'm not LOCKING ANYTHING from you guys. So I can be completely clear to you what up. Or why I ahve that up. I'm still learning my need tooz for it. Only thing normal people wont see is something I'll do only for paid. But again you wont miss out on the main fun. As that comic will be me releasing steam and being free and just comedic. Again it doesnt mean that I won't release those eventually to you guys. So you will get all the same content you can enjoy on here as there in a sense... theres absolutely not when I have them ready will there be any obligation to support me by paying to enjoy my content. I've lived litterally with no money to my name even when working, I know how it can be and the struggle. So seriously I dont want to make anyone ever uncomfortable. Which is why I'm making my last note here. To clarify everything to you guys.

I just wanted to tell you more on that situation. The funds would go towards way of living and/or if I manage to get someone to at least help edit of not the comic at least the script and paid beta readers... then it may go toward that. WHILE I hope my job when I get a new one will better cover living expenses... AGAIN THIS IS NOT SOMETHING THAT IS OPEN YET. ITS STILL BEING WORKED ON.. Dont worry...

ABSOLUTELY NO PRESSURE to pay... IM MAKING this last part of trh post... TO MAKE THAT ABSOLUTLY CLEAR. I DONT WNAT ANYONE EVER PRESSURED INTO ANYTHING!!!

~~~~~

With that always hard to talk about later topic lut of the way...😅😅😅😅

I do really hope you enjoy it.

And I hope those of you on either blog stay with me for it. And continue to enjoy this awesome journey together. Cause I'm excited for what's to come and hope you are too.

It took alot finally admitting this out loud.

I appreciate and love all of you for all your support!!!

💗💗💗 THANKS FOR READING!!!💗💗💗

Have an incredible day everyone!!!💗💗💗

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quinnonimp · 1 year

Note

do you have any favorite books/movies/shows? (this is me asking you to ramble about your favorite piece of media, I'm in the mood for special interest talk.)

ooo im not much of a consumer of media but one of my favorites is homestuck !!!! ill talk abt it, but mind u im kind of horrible at talking abt my interests </3

im not that old of a homestuck fan (only got into it around 2020 i think) but FUUUUUCK its such a huge part of my life and probably my longest hyperfixation, might even be a special interest with how much i still think abt it at random intervals or small associations

im honestly a little of scared of falling back into my hyperfixation of it though ? theres a few small reasons but i think its mostly just me being scared of commitment to anything as always (which is probablt also why i barely consume media) . recently i was REEEALLY close to but new ccquackity/ccwilbur activity dragged me away to safety lmfao (if u could even call a dsmp/tntduo hyperfixation safety)

smth i rly love abt homestuck is the way its so incredibly focused on characterization rather than story

like YES it does have a great story but its clearly messy n weird n hussie just kind of throws anything up in the air and just the dumbest shit ever can happens, and while that is aswell smth i absolutely fucking love - the characters r a way bigger deal n more interesting than anything the story will conjure up, and thats definitely my favorite way of writing media

cause like, yknow, good characters can absolutely save a bad story, but a good story cant rly save bad characters

plus theres so many characters and theyre all so well written that its easy to find a fan for each of them

my favorite character is 100% gamzee, im so fucking normal abt him, like oh my god i love that dude so much and the little idealized version of him i have inside my head lmao . mostly the earlier stuff is what i like of him though

fun fact ! hes part the reason im not scared of clowns anymore . i used to be terrified of clowns so when i first read homestuck i thought he was the most annoying freak in the world and DESPISED him, until i started looking more into purplebloods and gradually liked gamzee more until suddenly clowns r now my entire personality

i have so many reasons to love gamzee, but a lot of it has to do with just the plain fact i relate to him and when i see him i go "damn hes just like me fr" . like just . idk . his mannerisms n the way he dresses n looks r pretty similar to mine nowadays - except the whole "murderous instincts" thing, i think . and because of the way i havent read the comic in a while this self projection has really marinated itself

hes also sooooo brasileiro nordestino bc i said so 🤏

other favorite characters of mine are roxy, jade, kurloz, aradia, meenah, and calliope . plus, hes not a favorite but: when i got into homestuck i used to be a way louder energetic person, so my friends would say i was literally karkat, which infuriated the hell out of me x)

classpects is one of my biggest interests in homestuck, i fucking love them so much, im such a personality wizard i will latch onto anything personality related so hard . theyre great for initiating 60 page analysis on favorite characters (or ocs) and are so amazing for characterizing ocs its crazy, and aswell as to just classpect friends or random funny shit . i love them !!

in fact once i made an entire analysis to my friends as to why mosquitos r thiefs of blood, and there were so so so many more reasons than just the funny idea of classpecting a mosquito something called "THIEF of BLOOD"

though what i think a lot of ppl forget though is that while yes theyre heavily based on personality, theyre based on narrative aswell, which is why a real person can never have 1 set classpect all throughout their life since we well dont know the narrative we live in, we dont know our paths or our conclusions or how we'll end up and thats an important thing to know when classpecting since the way to godhood in sburb is a personal journey to self improvement, yknow ?

(though ofc if u wanna classpect solely based on personality go right ahead . the world is yours)

in this era of my life id consider myself a maid of space (which is a cool as fuck classpect and gets me the coolest powers EVER !!!!!!), but 1-2 years ago i considered myself a rogue of blood, then a rogue of rage, then a rogue of space (i was very rogue-ey), plus a few others here n there, and if i were to classpect myself from 3-4 years ago i would be a witch of rage/blood

i just think seeing the way change happens and the way we can see that change through a silly lens such as classpects is cool . with the way my obsessions work im obviously gonna look at the world with anything that associates with my interests in the back of my head, so im gonna start classpecting something like a glass jar if i take a look at it, and thats fun as hell !!

ive changed a lot throughout the years just as everyone does and im gonna continue changing, so who knows what classpect i end up with in another year or two ! its fun to think abt

ill leave my thoughts with that but thanks for asking :.))))

#anon #mailbox #quinnotalk #tumblrimp

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lunarifie · 2 years

Text

Rewatching Ninjago

(With no context other than the episode)

Hands of Time episode 7-8

(The time brothers and vermillion warriors joking and goofing up)

Wu (tied up as a prisoner):😐

I love how ppl recognize Nya as a part of the team now

Acronix: Im posting this on instabook.

Krux: Why must you ruin every moment with your devices!!!

theyre just like my family fr

Zane: My temporal scanner was damaged during our fight with the vermillion warriors

Jay: (giggles)

Zane: I dont see what you find funny Jay 🤨

Jay: I still think ‘vermillion warriors’ is a stupid name-

Kai, I get that your dad MADE that helmet but that thing is so clunky and huge like just put it down for a second my guy 😭

Lloyd: Wait, what’ll I use to get to the museum

Misako: Well, I WAS saving this for your birthday…

(Shows a whole ass ship)

Kai: ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!? FIRST JAY NOW LLOYD???? DOES EVERYONE GET A NEW RIDE FOR THEIR BIRTHDAY!?!?!?

THATS WHAT IM SAYING!!!!!

where TF are these old parents getting these goddamn military weapon rides 😭💀

Its so fucking funny bc Misako was like ‘no, i shouldnt tell you, Wu made me promise.’ And Lloyd says one sentence and suddenly shes spilling everything

I love how excited Zane looks here.

The Ninja aren’t fazed at the fact that Wus aging AT ALL 😭

Kai: Youre soooo fixated on your samurai x suit 🙄

Nya: Says the guy carrying around the snake warriors helmet 🤨

Love when they act like siblings

Tell your sister Kai she deserves to know

Kai: Do you know who this stamp belongs to?

Nya: No…

Kai: Our father.

HE TOLD HER 🎉🎉🎉🎉

Zane how are you NOT worried that Pixals still offline, like shouldnt you be freaking out 😭

He seemed to nonchalantly happy too

Like he was too excited being in Lloyds destinys shadow ship to be worried 💀

Does Lloyd even have a drivers license-

Kai: A blacksmith puts a mark on everything he makes. And our fathers mark is on every vermillion warriors helmet.

This is making me sad.

Wait, Kai doesn’t think his parents are alive? He thinks they USED to work for the hands of time.

Nya, girl, I love you but this IS concrete proof of your parents being traitors. Like, yes, its explained later that theyre not. But Kai IS making total sense and hes allowed to be angry about it 😭

Nya: Kai, that makes no sense!

YES IT DOES

ALL THE INFO HES GATHERED IS TIPPING INTO ONE CONCLUSION

Kai: (slamming his fists against the machinery)

(Whirs to life)

Nya: Whatd you know! Thought that only worked in cartoons haha…

Yeah.

Jay: All this stuff is junk! (Throwing around artifacts trying to look for a secret door)

Zane: (losing his shit by running after Jay and trying his best to keep all the museum artifacts safe)

HFNSJFNJSNT

Jay: (notices Zanes running after him)

Jay: (picks up a pot, jumps back in forth and watches Zane follow him, throws it purposefully to break it)

Zane: AAAAAA (catches it)

Jays such a little shit 💀

I love how much spotlight Nya and Kai are getting this season :)

Ohhhhh, i get it, the episode name is ‘secrets discovered’ because they all discover secrets…

I already know samurai x is pixal but I wanna know if Nya figures that out this episode

Honestly, this isnt that shocking since we, the audience, already knew half these ‘secrets’

the most exciting discovery is probably Nya and the theif behind her samurai suit

SECRET ENTRANCE IN KAIS PARENTS BLACKSMITH SHOP?!?!??!?

OMG I REMEMBER THIS

Its finally confirmed.

AAAA I LOVED THIS SCENE

Pixals such a fucking character i love her sm

Pixal (modifying her voice and changing it to sound like other people to throw off Nya): Maybe im ronin… or maybe Dareth???

This scene literally registered Pixal as a favorite character of mine.

Nya: Good moves, but thats takes you being Dareth out of the question.

Pixal (changing to Misakos voice): Your right, maybe im Misako?

Nya: LIAR.

Pixal: Or maybe im Garmadon, he always did have a nasty side.

You cant tell me Pixal is not having the time of her life toying with Nya.

Zane (in the time brothers secret lab): Whats weird is that theres no computers or modern equipment…

I wonder why.

They found the secret tunnel!!! Itll be so funny if they find the hands of times secret hideout when the time brothers themselves couldnt find it one time

Kai: Theres only ONE person who can understand what Im going through…

WHO????

Im genuinely curious who the hell else has an evil parent other than Lloyd and even then Garmadons not really evil.

OHHHHH SKYLOR

Pixal (using Nyas voice): I cant tell you my identity! I hide it to protect the innocent, my friends and allies would be at risk if my enemies knew who I really was. You were me once YOU KNEW THIS!!!

Yeah… and when Kai learned Nya was samurai x NOTHING BAD HAPPENED.

Nya isnt gonna tell the enemies who u are, like what??????

Nya: Whoever you are, you have proven you are worthy of having my samurai x suit :).

Pixal (in nyas voice): thank you :)

Nya: but stop using my voice. Its creepy.

I fr didnt get why some people shipped Pixal and Nya until I watched this episode, they have such strong chemistry, especially in understanding each other.

Nya: Also, reds my thing, you gotta find a new color…. Skylor 😏

HFNSJFNJSNFNER ITS SO FUNNY HOW FAR OFF SHE IS

Pixal (using skylor voice): A girls gotta have her secrets…

Honestly, pixal is so much better than me if I were her id be laughing my ass off in front of nya, tears and everything.

I cant believe Jay and Cole just ambushed and pummeled Scales and scales junior 😭 not to mention they kept beating them even when they weren’t fighting back until Lloyd put the lights on

The ninja are probably like the corrupted police to the serpentine

Scales: And this is my son, scales junior

Jay: Ha! How long did it take you to come up with that imaginative name???

Dude 😭 srsly?????? Not even an apology for beating up a kid like cmon

Scales Jr.: Out of my way, BLUE BOY. (Shoves jay)

YEAH FUCKING STICK IT TO HIM JUNIOR

Jay: Why are you looking for the vermillion warriors???? Trying to JOIN THEM????

Jay just stfu lay off them pls 💀

Scales: You don’t know what your dealing with, do you? The vermillion warriors are the pure first generation progeny of the great devourer….

THANK YOU SCALES. guess that answers the question of what the vermillion warriors are

I like to think Lloyd visits the serpentine here and there since he did control them in season 1. He had to have had made a few connections with some

Jay: Sorry if i uh, jumped to conclusions junior, haha…

Scales Jr.: DONT CALL ME JUNIOR.

Jay: I kinda like that kid!

Scales Jr.: AND DONT CALL ME KID EITHER.

Jay: Haha! Now I KNOW I like him.

Jfjjsnfhdnsntusnd

Kai: Its just so, shocking. To find our your father, someone you idolized your entire life, turns put to be evil… It makes you question everything you know and are…

Kais really going through it huh. like damn

Nya: I figured out who samurai x is!!! Its skylor!!!

Skylor: Am I now? I had no idea… does that mean I get that cool suit?

Love skylor

I am so attracted to her

Kai: Nya… Our parents are alive.

Howd you figure that one out kai 😐

Skylors so right tho, they arent their parents legacies.

Nya: Lloyd found Krux and Acronixs secret base!!!

Kai: Then what are we waiting for? Lets go!

Skylor: Wait! If you guys need any hel-

Nya: To-go bags? No thanks.

Skylor: ….

Skylor: I guess good quality noodles is all im good for…

If Skylor remembered skybound she probably wouldn’t feel this way ☹️

Im so pumped I cant wait for Nya and Kai to see their parents

Lloyd: And if we execute this perfectly… we should be able to save everyone.

Yeah we have 2 more episodes I highly doubt that

Lloyd: No pressure, but all of ninjago is depending on us.

Yeah. No pressure

Damn. Wu really has some issues.

I love how we delve deeper into Wus fears and insecurities this season

It makes you realize hes just human

I also hope Wu realizes hes made a lot more mistakes than he lets on

Wus nightmare Morro: Youve made many mistakes master… many.

THATS WHAT IM SAYING

“You didnt have to do all this alone, we could have helped you.”

“Just ask for help.”

“You dont have to be alone.”

“You arrogance has left you alone.”

Damn, we’re really going deep into Wus character huh

Zane mission: locate cyrus borg

Jay and Coles mission: rescue the workers

Lloyds mission: save master wu

Nya and Kai’s mission: locating krux and acronix

Fuck yeah lets gooooo

Zanes acting like those guys who dont know wtf to do when their gf leaves for the weekend 😭 like bro do things yourself you dont need Pixal to do everything for you

Wooo lets go bruise team

Jay (whispering as he slips with he grappling hook): Not good not good not good not good 😰

Ohhhh i forgot that the time brothers kidnapped all the blacksmiths in ninjago

Jay: shhhh we’re here to rescue you- AGHH (gets jumped)

KARLOFF!!!!!!!!

I WAS WONDERING WHEN WE’D SEE ANOTHER ELEMENTAL MASTER

Karloff- Karloff. You’re choking him 😭

Cole: DAD?!?!?

Hcjsnfjdidnnrw

Is airjitzu a thing in newer episodes?

Krux is such an idiot

I feel so had for cyrus borg 🥲 hes trying his best to sabotage them but is always getting caught

Why is borg always kidnapped by villains, give my man a break 😭

Zane sounds so hopeless :(

Why is Lloyd so aggressive 💀 his first move is always a high double kick to the gut and he's ALWAYS the first to swing

Jay. I get that you can't airjitzu karloff out but to say the whole plan it a bust is just stupid. COLE HAS SUPER STRENGTH.

Sometimes ninjago has the stupidest plotholes

Jay: Does anyone know how to independently power a 200-foot industrial-grade carbon elevator in three minutes!!!?!?!!!!

Blacksmiths: ...

Cole: ... I was thinking ladder.

Can Kai stop keeping Nya in the dark-

Like dude just tell her your looking for your parents

GODDAMMIT KAI DONT FIGHT YOUR FUCKING DAD WAIT LIKE AN MILLISECOND FOR HIM TO EXPLAIN

God this scene is actually so good though

Kai's father: Your red like a vermillion warrior, but you are no snake...

Kai: I’m not, but you are, TRAITOR.

He must feel so heartbroken right now ☹️

Same for Ray (I think that's his dads name)

Kai: (hands light on fire)

Nya: (extinguishes it)

Idk why but that was such a sibling thing to do

It's like when your sibling is trying to do something and you slap their hand to stop them

At least Nyas being smart about this

Jay: (shakes the ladder)

(ladder collapses)

JAY.

OMG OMG OMG

THE TIME BLADE

Can Wu stop almost dying from tall heights

COLES LAVA HANDS COLES LAVA HANDS

HELL YEAH

It's safe to say they're not escaping stealthy anymore

Lloyd: Safe... Your finally sa- (has the gut kick happen to him and falls into a ditch)

Can he PLEASE catch a break

Kai's a mommas boy 🥹

Ohhhh I forgot that their parents made the time blades!!!! That's so cool

Ohhh so they kidnapped them as revenge. Got it

WAIT THIS ALL HAPPENED ONLY 40 YEARS AGO

Damn

Love Ray explaining everything for us.

God it must have killed them to be taken from their children

This is actually so traumatic

WAIT HOW FUCKING OLD WAS KAI WHEN THEY WERE KIDNAPPED HE LOOKS LIKE A TODDLER 😭😭😭?!?!?!?!?!?!

I need a fanfic of Kai learning how to take care of his sister at such a young age asap

The thing is, little Kai doesn’t even look as old as Lloyd did in season 1. And Lloyd was like, 10.

Can you imagine this 6 year old having to learn how to cook and clean the house.

Also i cant get enough of little freckled Kai he is too precious to me

Damn. Both Zane AND lloyd failed at their missions

Zane: I sense Jay and Cole nearby!

Lloyd: You sure?

Jay in the distance: BRING IT ON YOU VERMILLION DOOFS

Zane: Yeah, pretty sure.

I love Jays signature nervous laugh :)

Man, EVERYONES failing their missions

Ray: If the time brothers know you're the key to the last time blade then-

Krux: We’ll force you to retrieve it? Great idea!!

Everythings going to shit

#ninjago #lego ninjago #Rewatching Ninjago

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semi-imaginary-place · 2 years

Text

more dgs 2-5 SPOILERS

and the names list was found in judge jigoku's office. 4 names now with ties to the reaper and jigoku have all either been killed or had assassination attempts against them. a shinn and asogi seemed to have been killed by 3rd parties and that kazuma was then used to eliminate another… hmmm i think someone is trying to tie up loose ends surrounding the reaper.

jezaille brett was the undercover name for asa shinn while in japan to assassinate dr. wilson. but i dont think that was her birth name it sounds like a professional name. i may be wrong but she doesn't seem japanese and everyone else refers to her as british so why does she have a japanese sounding name? also asa shinn assassin which is of course word play as usual in ace attorney but was it also deliberate in universe?

im confused, "But [Asa Shinn| had completely vanished from existence several months before Wilson's murder. So I came to the logical conclusion that she herself had been killed." she would have disappeared several months in advance because it take 2 months to reach japan, why would sholmes think she's dead? after dr. wilson's murder jezaille brett is not killed for another 9 months. unless sholmes is talking about another person??? i dont get it. edit from the future: it was because her name was on the list and sholmes thought everyone on the list was to be assassinated.

topsy hypothesis. yeah i picked up on the peculiarities of the names too they aren't all victims just all tied to the reaper. oh shit sholmes is saying kazuma came to britain as an assassin to begin with. though i wonder what was the point of having asa shinn and kazuma asogi switch places. each were respectively already in britain and japan why bother shipping them over for asa shinn to kill someone in japan and kazuma to kill someone in britian. well with kazuma it was probably revenge for his father he is revealing himself to be quite the revenge boy. an inter-governmental assassin exchange? whyyy? wait. that's why the telegram is written out the way it is. it isn't a line of text going k. asougi a. shin t. gregson j. wilson, its a 2x2 grid. which would mean that gregson was asogi's target to begin with. oh so they were aiming to use diplomatic immunity specifically i forgot about that. huh mikotoba is looking more innocent by the minute originally i was wondering if he was part of the conspiracy since he was giving off crafty old man vibes.

awww they gang's his family. yeah mmhmm. is a game so focused on family and fathers ryunksuke never mentions his because his parents arent a part of his life

the most incredible part is that i find myself liking kazuma even more now that its revealed he was an assassin since the start. my guess is that this started back when he received that mysterious telegram from britain in his first university year (hey wasn't that around the time he befriended ryuunosuke?) which revealed to him the execution of his father and it was after that telegram that he pursued an education in law. like ryuunosuke's been by favorite from the start though susato has become a close second, but i've only just now gone from i like him more or less to yeah i like this character with kazuma

this whole case is incredibly tense but then it got supercharged with homoerotic tension too. its this mix of "gotta kiss the homies on the mouth goodnight" and "kill murder violence bite you bite you" energies.

#dgs #tgaa #aa #dgs2 spoilers

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evanescentdawn · 2 years

Text

(July 4th)

today’s writing:

—wip: touken//gift ⭐️, ss//rehabilitation, if I wrote a romance, sangdok//prince in raincoat (jfkfkfk so proud of that wipname), ss//conclusions, SS//HS AU

A V ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ DAY…..!!!!!!!!!!

—ABSOLUTELY INSANE!! DOUBLE INSANE!!! okay, so I went to twt, check what’s up and got blast in the face by haku’s art. it was SO cute, I Had to write smth for it. AND THEN she gave me another idea and I HAD TO WRITE FOR IT because it was so perfect & amazing and fit so well & gave my thousands of feelings WHICH NEEDED TO BE PUT SOMEWHERE and eh???? apparently. I have written like. a whole touken fic……lmao, absolutely insane. I’m awesome <3 this is the power of touken + haku, lmao. I really wanted to get this edited & posted today !! so like stopped working on the hs au and quickly dropped this onto ao3, edited and posted it….AND JUST IN TIME TOO….! one min left of day <333333

—Okay, Okay. today was a general awful day, didn’t think I was gonna do any writing….but !! I HAVE SURPRISED MYSELF. A LOT !!! so was like thinking of working on SS wip, and worked on the rehabilitation one (look it has a name now, lmao) and hhhhhhh I really like this. this is practically a wip, lmao, I didn’t even have to write the “idea”. this is gonna be so fcking good. LETS GOOOO. hhhhh writing this reminded how much Thoughts I have abt the infinite tsukuyomi and how DISORIENTED everyone must be, god. like imaging getting everything you wanted and then. getting it snatched from you, because, apparently, it was all a dream. ouch. I edited it!! it’s not perfect, like parts that’s making me go “urghhhhh” y’know but it’s v <333 I love writing sasuke’s pov and getting into his head. despite how terrible I think I am at getting him, lmao, but I think I’m getting….a hang of it…..

—I don’t know what fcking happened???? I accidentlu pressed my orv playlist and NOW I HAVE FEELINGS and have to work on orv wip. HFJKFKF most of it is like. not offline. but this “if I wrote a romance is” so time to work on it !!! tbh, really don’t know…what to do with it. because I feel like I don’t have a hard grasp on ‘characterisation’ but whatever fuck rn. I should still write. because I have people who have been regarded for the characterisations which…..I dont completely agree with their fics or characterisations so WHOOP WHOOP you know???? I don’t even Know anything abt character archetypes and such, which I feel like hsy might but who the fuck cares y’know? let’s just go. I HAVE MANY FEELS AHHHHHHH I feel like a big idiot, putting this for soo long because of characterisation because DAMN, this is getting sooooo good. im So soft, heck. still stuck on where I’m gonna with this, lmao. OH. HEY. what if Han Sooyoung is narating to this lsh — I was gonna think — but of course, it would Kim Dokja. Lmao. She’s probs drunk, too XD on Purpose because she can’t do this on purpose. oh wow, suddenly want to write for sangdok, now.

—instead of going the mile of actually thinking of sangdok ideas, lmao….wait getting a vague one here….lett me quickly jot it down. hhhhhh, suddenly Urge to write for that olgami au. anyways, back for This Idea. instead of going out on the mile and starting a completely new sangdok idea, I can rewrite this wip because lmao I don’t plan to post it….but still keeping the og wip….wait, okay. it’s completely becoming its own wip??? AHHHHHH IM REALLY LIKING THIS. OH MY GOD I CANT BELIEVE I WROTE THIS !!! OH MY GOD I CANT BELEIVE IM WRITING THIS !!! im so <33333

—just felt like working on the ss//conclusions wip and…..ehhh…..I edited a bit but…. really feeling :/ abt this wip, rn. which is Urgh because I liked it !!! AND DO LIKE IT STILL (WELL THE IDEA MORE LIKE AND THE CONCEPT OF IT THE VAGUE CONTINUATION IDEAS) I edited it but really not feeling this wip at all. so I’ll just let it stew and see how it goes v v later. or maybe I think how to revise this idea. or write it in another way. I think that might be good thing to do

—hi hello???? Don’t Know what happened, but I suddenly feel like I can write SS. I can conquer it. I was rereading my SS fics that I posted and hhhb theyre so good. I wanted to tbh, make the 2nd chp of spring love a separate thing while also rewriting the og idea I wanted to have to better fit the first chp but lmao that sounds like a big mess to do rn leaving till much later. anyways, BACK TO THIS ….!!! okay so okay so. I didn’t plan at all to do the highschool prompt because I had No Urge at all to write a highschool au, lmao. I would love to read some but me?? write it??? No. Not like if it had some plot or smth around it and then I would naturally focus on ss if it were but mind was going blank when I tried to think of hs smth for SS BUT THEN… OUT OF NOWHERR…. I GOT HIT BY THIS… AND GOT STARTED WRITING IT OH MY GOD??? really doubt I’m gonna finish it, considering how there’s like few hours (& now less than 2 and don’t have this finished At All) of day left lmao but HELLO??? V MUCH LIKING THIS !!!! like pls, sasuke is such a dork I cant. I love him sm

#ignore me; im rambling #highlights #july 2022 #what a day…..!!!

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thoughts-of-the-unheard · 2 years

Text

this is the entire story of me and one of my best friends and our roller coaster of a relationship so buckle up, its long and i need help

the summer camp i worked at had a christmas party with everyone from the cub scout camp and the boy scout camp and 2019 was the first year i knew a lot of people from both but i remember one kid i didnt know that this one said looked like someone we worked with, not too long after i realize this new kid is the kid that followed me on Instagram a few months prior, now i wasnt used to people following me that i didnt know so i took notice of that and i had talked to the kid and my group that i was hanging out with had come to the conclusion that this kid was annoying, for some reason, i started talking to him afterwards on instagram and eventually over snapchat and facetime and phone calls and a whole bunch of stuff to the point where i was calling him regularly and anytime i was on the phone my mom assumed it was him, he was friendly with my mom and my cat before he even met them

now he lives a little under an hour away so the first time we hung out was october 2020 and we went on a hike and i think that was it then i had my first oa weekend with scouts and he was there and took me home from it then we hung out again in december with two of his friends where we did a little hike and lunch and got ice cream and aside from when we were eating, everyone always had a mask on, and as he was dropping me off after this day, he asked me out and i said something about how its not a great time for a relationship, which was true, but i also just never saw him that way, he took it well but shortly after that i ended up blocking him on like everything, here included im sure, because i woke up to a text that said something like "i cried myself to sleep and its all your fault" i think there was an additional text but i dont remember and i had a lot going on and just didnt need whatever that was so, instead of dealing with it or asking or anything rational, i blocked him, for like a solid month until i processed it and asked him what actually happened because thats out of character for him

well what had actually happened was he facetimed me on my ipad and i didnt see it bc i wasnt on it, there was no other context and i didnt know he had called so i thought he was just being a dick really but we got over that once we talked about it and kinda went right back to where we were before but in that september, the month before we first hung out, i developed a crush on this guy at my school, we started dating in april, earlier in april was another scout weekend with him and then again one in may and they were both good we were on good terms and i got my brotherhood in may and between the may weekend and the june conclave weekend, i told him i was dating the other kid and at this point, for months though, i had people telling me i think he likes you and all this and whenever i talked about the bf he got pissy and would straight up end conversations if i even alluded to him, but it was now six months after he asked me out and five since out big fight and i thought he was over it and he would make jokes about the fight that i never thought were funny but the june weekend i told my friend the shortened version of this and she was like my buddy all weekend and one of the few people around who knew him and didnt hate him (i have a habit of being friends with people that a lot of people dont like, i can name five off the top of my head)

so i knew she was unbiased and she also just a great person but anyway later that night i ran into him with her and a younger scout that had been puppy dog trailing us (he was like twelve or smth and we were nice, it wasnt a problem but he was annoying be he was a kid and we were older teenagers) now i hadnt seen him for most of the weekend and i was starting to think he was avoiding me so i see him alone and no where to run from my questions and i start talking to him and he had been having a bad night and this kid did not pick up on that or the fact that he was poking every single button available and i could tell that he was starting to get pissed at this kid so im standing next to him and start slightly brushing my fingers up and down his arm to try to calm him it works but my friend who i told the background to ended up making a joke about when i had blocked him, which he had been doing for months now, but this time it was funny, he loses it, i dont know what he was going to do but he yells at her and raises his arm and i step in because even though he has never been threatening i am hardwired to protect people, especially those i care about and especially from bigger men, now he doesnt hit her or even come close but i saw his arm go up and i reacted and i got angry, at the way he reacted, at the way he got angry for her doing the same thing he had been, at myself for never saying anything sooner, i got angry and he mustve realized his mistake because he had back up quite a bit and i cant remember what i said but i said something and he acted as to throw his mostly empty tea can at me and he didnt actually throw it but there was still tea it in and it splashed all over my shirt and some on my friend so i said fuck you and started walking away then he said something and i just flipped him off as i kept going, my friend and the younger scout followed and halfway back to camp i felt bad about kinda living her with him so i stopped to let them catch up and we finished the walk together and i sat with a bunch of friends that had gathered but i kept thinking about it and was getting upset so i ended up going to my tent and thinking more on it and crying so i texted him asking what happened and can we talk because that was not like him at all and i know he was already having a bad night but what the fuck and i had already changed for bed but we meet up anyway and talked for a few hours where i learned for the first time that he thought all those times we hung out the year prior were dates when i thought they were just hanging out but we wound up holding hands and getting into shenangines and planning a day for me to see his town and everything was alright again

later in june i visit his town and meet his mom and his dog and see his dads shop (i had already met his dad at scout weekends) and we got had dinner at his favorite place and they gave us this strawberry dessert because hes friends with the owners and they thought we were on a date and afterwards we got boba, my first time, and we walked around his town more bc its adorable and we met up with his one friend and we took his friend home then he took me home and it was really fun

well july i was in italy and i got stuck in portugal by myself on my way home and it was only my third trip on a plane and my first time ever international and i was really upset for a while about it and was on the phone with a bunch of different people, one being him and i stayed up most of the night that i was stuck there and he was talking to me for a lot of it which kept me calm really but at one point he had asked me where my bf was and why i wasnt talking to him and i didnt give him an answer but in actuality i didnt want my bf to worry and had told him i was going to sleep, i knew that even if he was worried about me he wouldnt worry to me and would talk to me and keep me calm exactly like he did i could trust him to do that, i couldnt trust that bf to

a few days after that i had gotten full of it, of him being childish and weird about the bf, for months he had been calling the bf "that boy" or "that guy" or anything but his name really and he had been ending conversations right after he was mentioned and i was sick of it, i was sick of walking on eggshells around him so i asked him to call me and i was prepared to tell him that he had to get over it or we couldnt be friends because i refused to keep part of myself hidden just to make him comfortable and all this and really i talked a big game and i had felt all of that in the moment but when we actually got on that call he started talking first and he had said that he knew he was being childish and a dick but he couldnt be just friends with me at the time, he didnt know how, and i was crying but i agreed because i didnt know what else to do and we decided that we would just be scout friends, we could talk about scout stuff since we were both still involved but we couldnt hang out anymore and we couldnt talk all the time anymore and we kind of cut eachout out of our lives and that sucked, i hated it, he was one of my best friends and all the sudden we werent friends at all but i was still thinking of him, i had gotten him something from italy and when my family visited seneca falls in august i got him a pamphlet and i had a bunch of things for him but i couldnt give them to him so i ended up writing a letter, but i didnt take a picture of the letter and i dont remember what was in it but i know on the back i had written "im sorry i cant love you the way you want me to" because i did love him just not romantically and it was hurting me to lose him but i still wanted him to have the things i thought he would like so i sent him this little package of stuff with the letter

i heard nothing about it until like december, at which point i had since broken up with the bf, and we had talked a few short times but nothing even within a hundred miles from how we used to so nothing really changed, i think we called once but it was just talking about scout stuff

so when i was home for spring break in march, the very last day before i went back to school i went to a court of honor, it was for the girl who made the joke back in june and had been his director at summer camp that same year, so were both good friends with her and were both there, it was the first time i had seen him since that time in june and the first time i really talked to him since that time in august so it wasnt much but we had gotten a little back since we were in person and we made some of the same kind of jokes and we had talked about our lives and everything but we didnt fully snap back to how we were, we only started regularly talking again at the beginning of this month and it wasnt the frequency or familiarity we used to have

now, this weekend was another scout event, a full year since i got my brotherhood, 11 months since the june event, and nine months since we basically cut ties, we shouldve known

he didnt get to camp until friday afternoon because he was at a friends prom the night before but once he got settled in he was with my committee, the one im in charge of, and he was helping out and hanging out and basically with me the rest of the day, including dinner where he asked me to save him a seat and ice cream after where the four main people of my committee went out and the several hours afterward that we had talked

so after ice cream, the one person in my committee went to sleep since the three of us had gotten up at 5am, its important to note that i couldnt for the life of me fall asleep that night and ended up getting about 45 minutes of sleep total, but we got back to camp around 11:30 and went to the dining hall to hang out for a bit where three of our other friends were, we all talked for a while and things between us had fallen into our usual pocket of jokes and nudges and talking and it was like nothing had ever happened, well eventually people petered off and probably around two or three am it was just the two of us in the dining hall and we kept talking, hes one of my best friends and i trust him entirely and i hadnt been able to tell him anything in months so both of us had poured the last nine months into a couple hours and again ended up holding hands and it was similar to the june night and i around 4:15ish which was when i had fallen asleep the night before, i started falling asleep on him, so he suggested going back to go to sleep and it had been pouring for hours and got windy enough that it shook the dining hall windows and i was so worried that my little $20 3oz tent from amazon was going to be soaked so instead of walking all the way there for it to be wet and me to walk back to bear paw lodge to sleep in an unused room, we just went to bear paw, and i was so damn tired and i just took my shoes off, took my rainjacket off, took the hard objects out of my pockets and laid down, he had brought in two sweatshirts, one for him and one for me, and something else to use as a pillow and we just went to sleep, i was out like immediately and only really woke up when his alarm went off for seven thirty something

i remember the time being 4:43 a bit before going to sleep so i got a bit less than three hours that night, but i was in bear paw, bear paw was housing males for the weekend, scouts bsa is very particular about males and females sleeping apart and gets into age ranges and everything, they are very serious about sleeping arrangments and i was very seriously not supposed to be there, so, like any good teen movie, i was snuck out the back, the second that door closed i look up to see two of the girls from the site i was staying in, they didnt say a thing to me but i clearly was not supposed to be where i was and all the girls in my site knew that i was not in my tent for wake up and i havent yet got in trouble for not being there so i dont think they told any adults so thats nice but also it was a bit embarrassing because i knew that i hadnt done anything but they didnt and i couldnt tell them without admitting i did something wrong, also theyre like two and three years younger than me and might not understand i dont know them that well im not sure but i said nothing and as far as i know, they said nothing but one of them is very close with one of my other best friends whos tent was next to mine and who was the first to know i wasnt there that morning and who had driven me to camp and who is the number one Not Fan of the friend that i was with, so when shes upset with me that day i think i might know why, we still havent talked about it but hopefully will when i see her tomorrow

so her and her boyfriend had given me a ride to camp and they usually do and they always say its not a problem and that they actually like doing it but theyre friends with this one guy whos birthday it was yesterday and they wanted to stop for lunch with him and do a birthday thing and all this and i dont like that guy that much and i really just wanted to go home, shower, and take a goddamn nap, remember that i got approximately 3.5 hours of sleep total that weekend so i was not in the mood to play nice for lunch and wait an additional hour or two hour to go to sleep and i was complaining about this to him and he said him and his dad could probably take me home because im on the way and theyre not really planning on stopping anywhere but i didnt want to ditch my best friend for the guy she hates so i said let me talk to her, maybe, and i asked if they were still going to lunch saying i was really tired and just wanted to go home so i might go with him and his dad but i just said their last name because its less of a mention of him and idk but i could tell she was upset even before i said anything so i was asking what was wrong and she said she didnt want to talk about it she didnt want to lash out, i should just go with them, i tried to press she said the same thing and i left with them

today he texts me saying hes been feeling conflicted and do i think hanging out again is a good idea and i asked to call so there wasnt so much stress on getting the words right and everything ya know things are just easier to understand straight from someones mouth and really we've gotten no solutions and only ended the call because i promised someone else i would call when they got off work but we know that we cant do that not talking thing again and thats all we know

hes telling me he wants to be there supporting me as i go through things and wants to hear me rant about womens rights and wants to tell me everything and hes telling me that im important to him and that he really cares about me but he doesnt expect, nor want, me to change anything to be with him and im just now realizing how much this reminds me of gilberts letter to anne but either way it would make an incredible love letter except for the fact that i dont love him that way and i never have but at the same time theres this magnetic quality to him that no matter how angry i get or how much time has passed i keep going back to him and we fall into this same dance and everyones asking if were dating or when we will because of the way we look at each other and have conversations with those looks and the inside jokes and how ill lean on him or him on me or how we inevitably end up holding hands and its not in an intertwined way its usually like how regency couples would hold hands or how one might take up the offer to dance and i always end up close to him both physically and emotionally and i dont understand how i can be not attracted to him and magnatised to him at the exact same time and i cant help but feel that if i was any other girl i would say soulmates, i would say theyre in love your honor, i would say just kiss already but i havent ever felt that sort of attraction to him and i feel bad because i can tell, for the first time ever, i can tell exactly how he feels by the way hes speaking, the way he wants to tell me everything and the way he wants to tell his best friend everything is not the same way, he doesnt want to show his town off to me he wants to show me off to his town, he told his friend that everything he does is better when im there, the prom he went to was with a friend of a friend and they made a deal that they would go to each others proms but he had an awful time with her, the friend saying he should take me so hes guaranteed to have fun, hes tried going out with other girls and they just arent for him, i cant help but feel horribly selfish for not wanting to let him go while i know i must be hurting him

#i dont know what to do #i dont even have half of an answer #i need help #if i had a therapist i would be telling them this #also this took me like two or three hours to write #so i wouldnt be able to get through the whole story in one therapy session #let alone talk out a solution

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relaxxattack · 3 years

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hi im asking u this bc u seem to be bee duo enthusiast so

ive been calling c! beeduos relationship platonic because i thought that was what their cc’s said, and i thought they had said that they were uncomfortable with ppl shipping the characters. But ive seen a lot of posts that say their relationship is canonically romantic? and i absolutely do not want to come across as homophobic by watering down a mlm relationship to just friends because that happens so much in media so.

what is the canon state of their relationship / ur opinions on the platonic thibg

dont worry abt answering if u dont want to!! i see a lot of differing opinions and i trust yours :)

aw it’s totally fine, im flattered you asked me about this!

let me put it simply: it’s a whole mess, lol.

first im going to talk about what’s happened fandom-wide that caused differing opinions, and then i’ll explain my own opinion/interpretation. :]

(this got really fucking long im so sorry)

ranboo and tubbo initially proclaimed the relationship was romantic, specifically in argument with the wiki editors who had set it as platonic by default. (you can see this in the vod where they decide they’re canonically married— it’s very funny. chat tells them the marriage is already on the wiki, they check, tubbo is jokingly offended that it says platonic and asks if he needs to up the romance).

tubbo also makes jokes about adultry, which sort of implies the relationship is not necessarily a platonic one.

(theres definetly more in that stream alone but it’s been a long time since i watched it so i don’t remember a lot of it.)

the wiki, because of this, suffers from going back and forth on platonic and romantic, seemingly unsure where the joke ends and the canon begins, or if its canonically a joke! a mess, as you can already tell.

this gets more complicated as the marriage bit goes on: outsiders, such as phil and scott, both at one point say “platonic marriage”, which then ranboo and tubbo agree with. however, when chat asks them if they’re platonic, they say the opposite. so there is a lot of confusion there.

there’s also the difficulty of being able to tell streamers and characters apart. ranboo and tubbo both don’t like being shipped irl, and that’s their boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed. (they’re also minors, but tbh when they’re 18 in a year i will still be following their boundaries regardless of their legal age).

due to people not wanting to be accused of minor shipping, they started adding the platonic tone indicator to most of their drawings— basically a way of saying “no homo”. meanwhile, tubbo frequently on stream flirts with ranboo and makes quite a bit of nsfw comments towards him that are frankly hilarious.

this goes on for a while with nobody really sure what’s canon, but a lot of people assuming it’s probably platonic, until: the drama of the mods night. a few mods dmed all the wiki editors telling them ranboo wanted his canon character relationship officially set to platonic.

unfortunately for those mods; the very same day, a few hours later, ranboo on stream makes fun of puffy delivering him and tubbo “friendship flowers”. because, and i quote, “bruh. we’re literally married. this must be how the ancient greeks felt.”

in case you don’t know, the internet often jokes about how historians will call ancient greeks ‘very good friends’ when they are quite obviously gay. so in this context, ranboo is joking that people will call him and c!tubbo, who are married, “close friends”, when he doesn’t think they are.

basically, ranboo canonized romantic bee duo, the very same day the mods told everyone he’d wanted a platonic one.

chaos and drama immediately erupted everywhere. on tumblr, we were talking about how weird it was of his mods to do something like that without asking him first. we ALSO talked about how weird it was of them to assume that ranboo can’t make his own decisions, or assume teenagers cannot be in relationships without it being sexual. twitter did the same thing but in the opposite direction: called ranboo mods homophobic, or said they were mad ranboo felt pressured into making a romantic relationship canon ‘just so people could have mlm rep.’

i dont want to go into detail about the drama that happened that night because apparently official people follow me and i dont want to stir it up or have them come “clarify” things. im just saying what we talked about.

ranboo in typical ranboo fashion apologized quickly and seriously. he was deeply sorry for possibly offending anyone with how he’d portrayed his rp relationship with tubbo, and he also assured everyone the mod thing was just a miscommunication.

he said he would talk to tubbo and they’d decide once and for all whether it was platonic or romantic, and then announce so everyone would know.

it’s now been a few months and we've had no word from them on that development. we still have no clue.

now, here’s my opinion:

i want to take ranboos word for it that it was a miscommunication with his mods, but... we had it on good authority from people on the wiki team and people in the discord with the mods that (while it was happening) they were really going after the wiki admins, and also made some weird comments about it. that combined with the way ranboo seemingly had no clue (considering he canonized their romance that very same day).... it’s very. sus of the mods.

then there’s the canon we’ve got since then. although occasionally adults in the room have called it a “platonic marriage” and tubbo once (back when it first started) called it a “plankton tectonic” marriage, in roleplay it’s been... kind of not that. tubbo and ranboo make nsfw jokes about each other in character, and their characters also share a master bedroom and bed in the mansion. there's also the way c!tommy really thinks it’s a romance between them as well, and they agree with and play off that— for instance confirming that they “fell in love” when he asked, or ranboo confirming that they “make out on occasion”.

people will still put platonic on their art and posts, imo, because they’re worried about breaking ranboo and tubbo’s irl boundaries by looking like they ship them. or even just being accused of shipping real life minors. and that’s a valid fear to have.

the thing is though: c!bee duo are not cc!bee duo. they’re roleplay characters. cc!bee duo are not okay with being shipped, but they made their characters get canonically married, and call each other “husbands”. so it’s okay to write the word “husband” in your comic without adding “platonic” to it, i promise.

telling the ccs that their characters have to be platonic is... weird. it comes off as not only babying them, but also as saying teens can’t date without it being gross. which isn’t true.

(this is why seeing people overuse “platonic husband” so much bothers me. like, they ARE husbands. you can just say it. what are you trying to hide...?)

do i think they’re canonically romantic? ehh, its likely. it’s still okay to interpret them as platonic, because again, it’s hard to tell where jokes end and roleplay begins. like, maybe it’s jokes in the rp too, and c!bee duo are just friends. friends can and should be allowed to make jokes like that with each other! aro & ace marriages exist!

or, maybe it’s actually part of the rp, and they’re very much romantic. we don’t know!

some people say they could be a qpr (queerplatonic romance), which i could see. (a qpr is a relationship that fluctuates between, or can’t quite be sorted into, “romantic” and “platonic”. people in a qpr can do romantic things while having platonic feelings for each other). in my opinion this is a very valid interpretation as well!

CONCLUSION (sorry this got so long omfg):

are c!bee duo romantic?

its likely, but you can still interpret them however you like!

should i put /p on bee duo content?

ehhh? i find it annoying when it’s overused (as do others), but if you’re worried you can. its up to preference. putting it too much is weird though

should i put /p on things cc! bee duo do?

no. you’re not the one saying it so you can’t decide the tone tags for that. imagine you said something to your friend and a random stranger came up and was like “haha but that was /p right...?”

can i ship c!bee duo?

mmm. i’m not sure on this one. they are canonically married and very flirtatious, but the ccs don’t like being shipped and they’re close enough to being the ccs that actively shipping might be against boundaries.

can i treat c!bee duo as romantic?

yes. literally just don’t be weird about it. it’s not that hard! you can understand that two characters are husbands without making it weird

here’s the most important thing: boundaries. cc bee duo still haven’t told us what their preferences and canon is about this whole thing.

right now, i am assuming based on what they already show us they’re comfortable with, but! the second they give us any more info! all these opinions will change!

i am only going off what they do. i would never want to cross boundaries at all. i just wish they would make theirs a little more clear.

..... i hope that helped anon, i went way off the rails... i need to go to sleep.

#it’s late im so sorry for how much i rambled and wrote #i hope this helps you #bee duo #og post #there’s probably so many spelling errors i need to go to bed #i tried to fix some spelling so reblog this one ig #and not the old one

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violettelueur · 3 years

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— FUSHIGURO MEGUMI + GOJO SATORU + NANAMI KENTO || S/O THAT HAS A CURVY FIGURE

↳ featuring : fushiguro megumi + gojo satoru + nanami kento from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : grammar issues

↳ form : headcanons

↳ published : 7 january

↳ pronouns : non specified in headcanon

↳ request : Your blog is my favorite on tumblr♡ You have a great talent, and really your writing has helped me to go through some tough times. I can only say, Thank you so much!!! If its okay, can I make a request please? Can I have Gojo, Nanami and Megumi with a curvy fem! S/o? Oh but if you feel unconfortable writing this, its totally fine! You dont have to write it, dont worry! Is just that I have that type of body and I have always been really insecure about it. Thank you♡ You really are the best!!

↳ previous work related : itadori yuji + fushiguro megumi + gojo satoru + ryomen sukuna || with a chubby s/o

↳ barista’s notes : hi there! thank you so much for loving my blog and it makes my heart melt that i am your favourite ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ and i also bet you are a wonderful and beautiful person in real life since what i like to go by when i get insecure is by saying ‘if I don't fit into this generation's beauty standard, I will have to become a different standard’ and that was said by Hwasa from MAMAMOO ʕ •ᴥ•ʔゝ☆ other than that,i hope you enjoy your cup of classic black coffee (jujutsu kaisen request!) and you’re welcome come again anytime soon!

To be completely honest, Mr Fushiguro Megumi doesn’t really care about how your body looks and this is because he really doesn’t focus on that aspect like Itadori - the classic ‘tall girls with a big butt’.....I’m 5’4 with an Oikawa flatbread.

Fushiguro is really observant and he does quickly notice when you are feeling insecure about yourself and is lowkey confused about why you are self-conscious.

He isn’t the type to question why you are insecure but he will compliment you the moment he notices you are feeling down about yourself.

For example, if you look yourself into the mirror with your hands outlining your body continuously - I’ll admit, I do that a lot - he would wrap his arms around your waist and just look at you fondly in the mirror.

“You look really cute today, the outfit really suits you a lot,” and, of course, there will be a light blush upon his face because our baby is a shy one - he isn’t one to openly express what he is thinking but anything for you.

If Fushiguro is feeling more confident, he would place a light kiss on your cheek to seal his words before resting his chin on your shoulder to admire you again in the mirror - now it is your turn to blush.

He doesn’t mention this at all since he is shy about this thought of his, but he really loves your body and if you do something to change/hide it in some way, he will find a way to prevent it.

Like if you are eating less than you usually did, Fushiguro will bring home takeaway for you and will make an excuse by saying “me and Gojo ordered too much, so I brought some home for you” - and when you open the damn box, don’t be surprised to see your favourite food.

In conclusion, Fushiguro will be confused on why you are insecure about your curvy body, but will do anything to make you feel comfortable and beautiful - even if he does get embarrassed during the process because seeing you smile is worth it.

Just like Fushiguro Megumi, Mr Gojo Satoru does not care what your body looks like that all but will admit to you every day that he finds you sexy.

Gojo is really touchy with you - that’s just because it’s his language of love and it is in his nature to be - and has no shame in being so at all.

Whenever in public or private, this man will run his hands around your body with no shame and will focus on your curve quite a bit because once again, he finds you really sexy.

Compared to both Fushiguro and Nanami, I don’t think you even have the time to feel insecure because Gojo will continuously compliment you before you would even complain about yourself.

Gojo will cup your face with his palms before bombarding you with kisses to the point where you can’t even get a word in.

You *kiss* are *kiss* so *kiss* pretty *kiss* the *kiss* prettiest *kiss* of *kiss* them *kiss* all

And he will finish his little speech with a big smooch on your lips before picking you up off your feet and twirling you around in glee.

He will 100% show you off to everyone that comes by and meets the both of you but will tease them by reminding them that you are his and his only.

Gojo is the type that will hype you up when you go clothes shopping together - maybe he is also the type to pick out an outfit that will showcase your curves and will tell you that you look beautiful and in his words ‘hella attractive’.

Except him to bring extra clothes after his mission for you to try because ‘you don’t have enough outfits to show yourself off with’ - there will be some expensive brand within the mix of bags that he has brought for you because we call know Gojo Satoru has moneyyyyyyy

In conclusion, expect Gojo to be your hype man 24/7 because he knows that you are the most gorgeous person in the whole world.

And once again, just like both Fushiguro Megumi and Gojo Satoru. Nanami wouldn’t care about how your body looks but unlike Gojo, he wouldn’t verbally admit that he thinks you look really sexy.

Being the professional man he is, he would replace ‘sexy’ with ‘beautiful’, ‘gorgeous’ and ‘charming’

Like Fushiguro, Nanami is quite observant - may be more observant than Fushiguro - and will instantly notice the second you confidence drops - quicker than Fushiguro would, those glasses ain’t just for exorcising curses you know.

Nanami will pull you into a warm embrace and rock you side to side to comfort you while telling you how beautiful you are to him and why you shouldn’t be ashamed of the way your body is.

I feel like he is also the type to play with your hair. So, while he was hugging you, he would stroke your hair to add extra comfort to the whole fluff scene that was going on between the both of you.

“You are so beautiful you know that right? So beautiful,” and he says this with such awe in his voice - even if it is somewhat out of character for him, he does truly think you are beautiful.

He will also gently smile at you to inform you that he is being truthful to you which leads you to smile back at him since you can’t help it - it is Nanami Kento after all.

Nanami will slyly run his hands over your body as a sign of his appreciation to you and to express how much he loves you and your body no matter what - also that is kinda sexy can’t lie, like who doesn’t want that?

Sometimes he would guide you to the mirror and tell you how beautiful your body is and how much he loves every inch of it.

Overall, he is a man of his word and will continuously remind you how much he finds you beautiful every day since he knows you are beautiful inside and out.

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matan4il · 2 years

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Sorry this might be long so I will try not to ramble. But I was talking to my husband about my ships and was trying describe Eddies sexuality but I cant think of what it would be and I really hate labels.

But to be honest for a while I clocked him almost a little A sexual. Because that first Taylor interaction at first I thought he was gonna hit on her but no he just didn't like her talking to Buck. It was clear he had no interest in Maddie, he was like I'm here for Buck and pizza and to show we dont know how to move a couch. Even the crossover it didn't seem flirty to me. He talked about Buck to each person and he was so giddy to see him at the end.

But you contrast that to how tactile he is with only Buck and Christopher. Like them leaving the bar when they keep bumping shoulder in 2 4, it reminded by of lions in the jungle lol. Like if I was watching 2 big cats rub their scent together. He almost subconsciously mimics Bucks over tactile exhibitionist tendacies but still only with Buck. And Buck being who he is hasn't really noticed that it's kind of weird. They both aren't Captain Obvious.

So I was wondering if that last scene after the hostage situation when he goes home to just Chris. It almost played out like his story line was supposed to mirror the convicts. Could it be that he just loves Buck, not men but Buck and he knows he can never let a women into his life because he can never not emotionally cheat on them with Buck. And he thinks Buck is straight and with Taylor.

So he was almost killing off a part of him and just committing to Chris.

I dont know maybe I read to much into it because those 2 have always fasinated me in their dynamics. Like how Buck just always assumes if your talking about the most handsome person in the room, clearly you mean Eddie. And Eddie doesn't think its weird he's choosing his bestie to be his kid's gaurdian when he has a whole damn family.

Hi Nonnie! Aaawwww, I love that you get to talk to your hubby about this show and Buddie, I think that's a sign of a really great marriage! ;)

And I get what you mean about Eddie, he was also SO not interested in every woman we've seen coming onto him on calls (the ones in 204 as an example) just to add to your list.

But yeah, I can see him not being able to open up and get together with Ana, despite how perfect she was supposed to be for him and Chris on paper, because really, he wasn't following his heart and he already gave his heart to Buck before he even started dating Ana (since we now know he made Buck Christopher's legal guardian back at the end of 315). You're not reading too much into that last point, I've said it before as well, since ep 303 that it says A LOT, how Eddie trusts Buck with Chris over his actual family.

I can def see your understanding of the end of 506 and how it works with where Eddie is right now, in fact I very much like your take on it! I also think Eddie is a complex character, who doesn't always fully understand himself because he's so used to pushing his feelings out of the way, so whenever he'll finally admit that what he feels for Buck isn't just platonic (and I agree with everything you said about how tactile he's been in their relationship, the way he steadies himself by touching Buck and how he comforts Buck with touches, too) it could be interesting to see how he explains it to himself, or whether he even does... it could be he'll come to the conclusion he doesn't need to. He's in love with Buck, he's admitted it, and as long as he's honest about it, it doesn't matter what the term for it is... Nonnie, there are so many options for great storytelling here, I just want us to get there and get to see it already! XD

Thank you so much for sharing, lovely! Please feel free to send more if and when you feel inspired to! xoxox

To anyone else who sent me an ask, I am going through all of them, thank you so much for your patience! If you wanna check whether I've replied to yours yet, you can have a look at my ask tag. xoxox

#buddie #911meta #buddie meta #911 meta #9-1-1 #evan buck buckley #evan buckley #eddie diaz #edmundo diaz #ask #anon ask #911onabc #911 on abc #911abc #911 abc

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homieswithhades · 3 years

Text

why steve rogers returning to the past was wrong

disclaimer: im clearly a stucky enthusiast, but please, do not be thrown off by that. i admit, there may be undertones of bias because of that in the following, but i did my best with trying to lay out the facts and draw logical conclusions, so do please give me a chance. also, i may have accidentaly omitted some moments and some quotes may not be 100% word for word, as my memory lowkey sucks. ALSO this is NOT a peggy hate post!! i think shes a dope and underrated character and quite frankly she was done dirty. but i also definitely h8 the trope of badass woman falls for the hero.

first and foremost, every sane person knows endgame was complete and utter bullshit when dealing with steves character, so this post will be more for you to maybe show (and hopefully convince) some stubborn friend or family member. nice, concise (not) and including proof from the movies (+a few tweets and stucky undertones, if u dont fw that i respect it but bucky is an integral part to steves character regardless of how u interpret their relationship) here is why steves character development was thrown away at the end of endgame.

let us begin at looking at the cap trilogy.

in ca:tfa it should be noted that steve had no one to return to in the 40s, except bucky. i believe steves relationship with peggy was no where near as developed as it should have been to elicit him returning exclusively for her. as we are aware, steves driving force has absolutely always been bucky. bucky was there for steve after his parents died, when he was sick, and always protected him from whatever trouble he got himself into. "until the end of the line" right? steves relationship with peggy was forced and short lived, literally, we're talking a matter of months here. i need to keep emphasising the important disparity between bucky and peggy, as it is absolutely key in this whole argument. steve dropped everything and went against every order just to even attempt to save bucky. even the slightest chance of him surviving being captured was enough for steve to break into a hydra camp and free the 107th division. steve even had the chance to capture zola, one of the main villains and masterminds of the war, but again, steve prioritised bucky. when theyre trying to escape the exploding hydra camp, the exchange between steve and bucky is critical. steve says "go! get out of here!" as all he wanted was bucky escaping safely. he put bucky's life over his own (this wasnt the first time he did this, nor the last) but bucky rooted himself to the spot, and yelled back "no, not without you!". they both escaped safely as we know, and then steve gathers the howling commandos to take down the red skull. bucky then falls off the train, nd steve blames himself for his death, even visibly crying over it twice. steves morals went from "i dont wanna kill anyone. i dont like bullies, i dont care where theyre from" before buckys death, to "i wont stop until all of hydra are dead or captured" after. stuff happens and steve defeats the red skull and is now in control of the flying ship with the bombs. he connects the comms with peggy and she tries to convince him theres another way to disarm the ship. steve was so dedicated at that point he didnt even want to hear it. he didnt even attempt to do anything to ensure his survival. this alone proves, peggy was not important enough to him to return to.

next is ca:tws. The stevebucky movie. in the museum, peggy confirms that steve saved the man from the 107th division who eventually became her husband (steve was never in the 107th, just to clarify) i believe her husbands name was daniel sousa (as revealed in the marvels agents of shield show) steve then finds out peggy is alive and talks to her. she, in short, tells him she's lived her life, and it was his turn to live his in the time hes in. the "my best girl" line was unnecessary and out of place; again, steve barely knew her. again, shit goes down, and steve finds out the winter soldier is bucky and immediately drops everything, and becomes dead set on saving him. not killing, not imprisoning, but saving him. no matter the cost. "he saw me, and he didnt even know me" "hes not the kind you save, hes the kind you stop. he won't recognise you" "he will." god, steve KNEW bucky would recognise him. regardless of the brainwashing, steve managed to break through the barrier hydra fought so hard to drill into buckys mind. nothing ever broke him out of that state exept for steve. "im not gonna fight you, youre my friend." "youre my mission" "then finish it. cos im with you till the end of the line." [[good fucking lord let me break out of my essay-esque semi professional format here and just say how fucking heartbreaking those lines are. oh my god. read them, over and over until it hits you.]] steve shows us again, that he is willing to not only die for bucky, but literally die by his hand. he would let bucky kill him. he'd dropped his shield. he didnt fight back. steve always, always, ALWAYS got up and fought back. always. exept that time. the time bucky could have killed him. that scene is the essence of "im with you till the end of the line" because then, it was true. it was true because steve was okay with dying at buckys mercy. theres a difference between sacrificing yourself for the greater good (steve going into the ice), willing to die for someone (steve risking his life multiple times in attempts to save bucky) and finally, being willing to let someone kill you, because you love and trust them so much (hellicarier scene). the difference between peggy and bucky's relationship to steve is that steve may be willing to die for either, but only willing to be killed by one. not to mention, bucky pulled steve from the river. he recognised him. steve broke through 70 years of brainwashing with such impact it literally drove bucky away from hydra out of his own free will.

in between ca:tws and ca:cw its confirmed (im p sure sam says it) that him and steve looked for bucky for two. years. even off screen, bucky was steves priority.

im going to squeeze in 2 points from from age of ultron here, for chronology's sake:

steves worst nightmare, as portayed in the movie, is LITERALLY going back to the 40s and being stuck there (with peggy too??lmfao) and also the quote "family, stability, the man who wanted all that went in the ice 75 years ago. i think another one came out." objectively confirms that steve isn't the man he used to be, and doesnt want to return to the past. aou may have sucked, but that doesn't mean the character development should be thrown away.

ca:cw. hoo boy. steve went against 117 countries and half of his closest friends and colleagues because he believed bucky was innocent of the bombing of the un conference. god, steve quite literally, did everything to defend and protect bucky. though i shall acknowledge that steve did attend peggy's funeral, however, there was no real connotations there other than the fact he was mourning her death (understabdibly so). steve then proceeds to protect bucky for 2 hours 27 mins and 41 seconds to the point where they escape together to siberia after the airport fight. "i dont know if im worth all this steve" "what you did all those years... it wasnt you. you didnt have a choice." "i know. but i did it" again, absolutely heartbreaking quotes if you read it a couple of times and truly understand the meaning of them. steve somewhat indirectly tells bucky yes, yes he is worth all of this. otherwise, he wouldn't be doing it. a quote to support that would be "for the longest time, i always did what i thought was right." (disclaimer this is not a direct quote i deadass couldnt find it to save my life, i belive steve said it at some point during civil war or tws, but the point is, bucky is the only thing that could have shaken steves morals so intensely.) and finally, the most important part of cw, the fight at the end with tony. bucky and steve constantly protected each other. steve kept fighting because he was fighting for bucky. to keep him safe from tony and the world. he got up, time and time again. "i can do this all day." the fact that he said that to tony, some people consider them the closest of friends, proves again, a million times over, bucky is more important to steve than literally anything else, INCLUDING his shield. his mantle. he dropped it and left it like it was nothing, because his priority was bucky. as always.

theres not much to discuss for infinity war other than their hug whicg was honestly just adorable.

mmmmm endgame. i will not go into how much i hate that movie because it would be a rant quintuple the length of this one. in the support group, steve dead ass fucking says "you gotta move on. you gotta move on" and that sentiment was literally forgotten at the end. my main point for endgame is this. people tend to tell me, the reason steve abandoned bucky and went back to be with peggy is because he knew that he was finally safe. :/. if you had half a braincell youd know that's not true. the steve we know, never would have left bucky for good, ESPECIALLY after the "dont do anything stupid until i get back" exchange [[god i want to beat the shit out of the r*ssos]] mostly because, bucky had fucking no one in the time he was living in!!! no family, no friends and most heartbreakingly, no one he could trust. (yes sam was there but were just seeing their friendship develop now in tfatws, all that wasnt there in endgame) and secondly, what made steve think bucky was entirely safe??? half of the worlds population just suddenly reappeared, which as we see now, there were massive consequences for that. i simply believe steve is not that stupid. steve going back was disrespectful not only to his character, but to bucky AND peggy. most importantly, the steve we've been watching since 2011 would NEVER abandon bucky, no matter how safe he thought he was (he visited him frequently in wakanda, the safest place on the planet arguably ffs) especially for such a dumbass and quite frankly, nonsensical reason as going back to be with peggy, who clearly stated to him she moved on, and so should he (which he did. idk endgame writers prolly didnt watch the previous movies :/) its not even debatable. bucky is more important to steve than peggy. even in terms of screentime.

now allow some tweets to speak for me, this one being the absolute most important one:

ladies and gentlefolk, all of the stuff ive said can be summarised in that last line. "it would be contrary to who he is."

heres some more:

and now finally, id like to briefly mention steve and tfatws, so beware of spoilers (writing this as of ep 4 coming out; praying it doesn't age badly)

bucky mentions steve, unprompted, fucking constantly. he clearly isnt over steve leaving, and im hoping that gets acknowledged and talked out in the show.

in conclusion, tl:dr, steve shouldn't have returned to the past and stayed there, it is contrary to who he is, as shown to us through his trilogy and other appearances in the mcu. not to mention the timeline bullshit in endgame makes zero sense in the first place.

#long post #stucky #captain america #steve rogers #mcu #marvel #tfatws #bucky barnes #peggy carter #hwh's marvel thoughts #please dont bullshit me in the comments also i dont have the strength #imma hide this in the tags praying no 1 will b bothered to look but steve and bucky gay #everytime some1 calls their relationship brotherly it takes 10 years off my life nd makes me wanna impale myself ❤#also no beta we die like men #my meta

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keingleichgewicht · 3 years

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WERE YOU KIDDING ABOUT THE ASK GAME if not i dont have any specific lyrics in mind but i always thought the lyrics to the mill were so cool and maybe you could get some thoughts out of them? :0

YEAH GOD OKAY LET’S TALK ABOUT THE MILL. LET’S TALK ABOUT UHHHHHHHHH [THROWS DARTBOARD]

this line. this MIGHT go on for a while so i will............ readmore

so the mill feels kind of notably different to the rest of the pafl songs, which tend to be unusually literal for lyric, either straightforward retellings of events (punch it, punk!) or character piece monologues set to plot visuals (strike 3) or both (all of them, but for instance particularly comfort zone, which is just dmitry’s horrible manifesto until it gets hijacked by a death sentence in the second verse.) the mill is a lot more like what we expect from poetry these days, which is to say it’s heavy on imagery, low on clarity, and fucking confusing!

I’ll draw a circle in the sand, drive myself around the bend in a desperate attempt to hold on to your battered hand Rocked to sleep beneath the snow, she is bathed in youthful glow ‘Strong enough to let it go,’ he says, but darling, I don’t know

a lot of the mill is about circles. this is in the name: a mill is something which turns. a waterwheel is a circle, a grindstone is a circle. it’s even in the melody: the chorus is a cyclic, pentatonic four-note riff that keeps going up and down and up its own ladder, chasing its own tail, not really reaching resolution. and then it’s also in, you know, the story:

the meat grinder!!!! everyone’s favorite fucking hellhole!!!! it is only semi-explicitly identified in the song but that’s because it’s a concept from the source material - both tarkovsky’s stalker and roadside picnic feature the meat-grinder, as a location nicknamed thus by stalkers because it is even more fucking deadly than the rest of the zone, all of which is already ridiculously fucking deadly, and if you’ve seen the movie:

it is more or less instantly recognizable in the mill as well. so here we have a circle! here we have a mill (the title has about seventy double meanings but this is certainly one of them,) and as it turns out, this mill at least will absolutely kill you. and horribly too. interestingly though, in roadside picnic (the book) the meat-grinder is not a tunnel, and it’s not round - it’s just a nondescript patch of ground which will wring you out like a dishcloth and kill you extremely dead if you walk into it. on the other hand what we have in the book in terms of circles is the golden ball, which is the equivalent of the movie’s the room, which is, well,

in short both stories ultimately hinge upon the idea that there is a something in the zone which can give you your heart’s desire. anything you want. everything you want. whatever you want. it is infinitely powerful; it is infinitely capable. the catch is that it will only give you what you want. the catch is that giving you what you want is not the same as giving you what you are asking for. the other catch is that in both cases you have to get through the meat-grinder first.

(so, by the way, what the fuck, right? does pafl’s zone have a wish-granting factory? is it also behind the grinder? where were the original trio going when they got themselves fucked up? and did they get there?)

but the point is: the golden ball, the wish-granting factory, is also a circle. it’s just sort of a sphere. it’s a big round fuckin yellow thing. you know, sorta like:

which is THE ONLY TIME yellow is used in occam’s razor not counting the full-colour shots, and it drives me CRAZY, but it is also me going full conspiracy board so let’s not even worry about it. THE POINT IS.

the circle is the death-machine and the wish-machine. neither of these things are really.... very good. the circle, or at least the arc, is also very closely associated with death:

(розовая дуга предрассветного, ‘rose arc of pre-dawn’. if i’ve fucked up that nominative please feel free to stone me to death!)

in the gdoc notes to message lost ferry briefly refers to the dawn as if it were a good thing, the dawn of hope, which is a usage that sort of agrees with the desolate and deathless hope of strike 3′s ‘everything will pass / a day will come,’ but on the other hand it really is very closely associated with dying. nikolai bites it; nikita bites it; sergei and olga left significant chunks of themselves behind. and the thing about ‘this too shall pass’ is that it’s always true, as is ‘everything ends’, but of course that’s ‘cause the thing that ends might be you. and as we know

dawn is an ending. so that seems concerning!

i think the circle, the arc, the bolt falling back to the ground, is not a good thing. i am getting a little conspiracy board here in general but forgive me, i cannot make you a wholesome answer, my wit’s diseased. i think the circle is an enclosed space. it’s an unbroken cycle. it’s the grindstone. it’s the mill. it’s about what pafl’s always been about: about being trapped, about having no chances, about being bordered upon. the circle’s the geometric figure of equidistance from a given point, and you can walk on it forever, and nothing will ever change; you will never get closer, you will never get further away, you will never get out! the sun rises, the sun sets, and you are no closer to anything you wanted. it’s worth noting that anya’s borderline city, the zone-edge port town she complains is trying to crush all her dreams, her mill

is a circle. (a cog in a machine! a grind-wheel! a cage!)

and yura, whose dreams have already been burned out of him, who starts the series already resigned to never getting out of here, calls it ‘this dire deja-vu’, i am specifically resisting putting the accent marks back onto that, which is to say, it’s a repetition that haunts him. it’s going round and round and getting nowhere.

so if we bring it back around: drawing a line in the sand, as the phrase is generally used, means setting a border, means saying this far and no further. often it’s yourself you’re setting the border for. you hit some divide you can’t abide crossing so you say this stops here, it may be too early or too late, but i say it stops here. so logically: drawing a circle in the sand means you’ve locked yourself in completely.

I’ll draw a circle in the sand, drive myself around the bend in a desperate attempt to hold your battered hand

the whole first half of this song, i think, is olga promising to grind herself down in a hundred ways if it means she won’t be left alone. how hard can it be to never let it overflow? she may feel lower than the low, she may wish she could just disappear out here, into the postindustrial rust, but though it gets harder all the time she will keep pretending. she isn’t going to burden sergei, or indeed anyone, with her problems, her fears, her scars. she is hurt, but she’s used to it, she’s gotten used to being haunted long ago. she keeps her bad eye covered. she stays within her circle she has drawn. she keeps going round and round. she will take the smallest sliver of human connection and be happy, she promises she will be happy, she promises she won’t ask for more, she will take just the ‘hello.’

but you knooooow it’s not true. you know it’s grinding her down, that she’ll be milled to nothing pretty soon, and really she knows it too.

i am perhaps seventy percent sure that this line is a reference to the windmills of your mind by michel legrande, which features such lines as

Like a tunnel that you follow to a tunnel of its own Down a hollow to a cavern where the sun has never shone Like the circles that you find in the windmills of your mind

which on one hand seems sort of obscure to be a purposeful reference but on the other hand would be a hell of a coincidence if it wasn’t, wouldn’t it. either way it characterizes circles ambiguously, but definitely unsettlingly. going around in circles is chasing infinity, but what in god’s name would you do with it if you caught it? what are you even hoping to accomplish? and:

the second half of this song is bitterer, sharper - staring down the mouth of the meat-grinder she’s a little more willing to admit to herself that this is going nowhere. she is running out of cages to keep herself in. she is very tired. it’s easy to say why don’t you leave it all behind, it’s easy to say, she’s strong enough to let it go, it’s easy to say, too strong to die. it is a lot harder to actually live.

this is also where the flashbacks admit to us how badly hurt they really were - sergei with his whole side in shreds, she still hides her eye but at least we get to see it’s bleeding. this moral compass is forever misaligned, she says, so there is damage, and it is lasting. and she can’t settle for hello, she can’t live like this, she needs someone by her side. the trouble is whether she can believe she has any hope of getting that

as for who ‘her’ is, or the ‘she’ of ‘she is bathed in youthful glow’, i figure there’s two possibilities: either it’s nadya, who haunts olga too, because nikita’s abandonment of nadya represents exactly what she most fears for herself, or it’s olga’s younger, unbroken, binocular self - both of whom were so young, and so easily hurt, and are now unfindable.

and then there��s this conclusion: ‘the sun will rise, until then / i’ll be waiting for you on the other side.’ which maybe is a sort of hope after all? she’s reached no real conclusions in the zone - she knows there must be hope but she can only barely believe in it - she thinks she is destined to self-destruct. but on the other hand she still has that, a version of sergei’s own ‘a day will come’

you may be hurt, but if you can hold yourself together, you can hope for a dawn someday. an ending. a change. but the trouble’s that there’s more than one kind of ending. and there’s more than one meaning for other side. there are cages, and then there are cages. and you know what else looks like a tunnel, a circle?

staring down the barrel of the gun.

#pafl #parties are for losers #it speaks #ask #in all fairness and in my defence when i made the joke i said i would write not less than one thousand words and by fuck #this has not been less than one thousand words!#jorgyjuice #THANK YOU FOR THE ASK ALSO THIS WAS REALLY FUN #and thank you VERY dearly to anyone who takes the time to read all this; you own my soul now; feel free to collect at any time #metatext

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