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itsss4t4n · 4 months

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How long is Forever? - Harry Hook x daughter of alice in wonderland

Headcanons but the longer version of this post:

a/n: this is based more on tim burtons aiw adaptation as it is the only one that i know, and i might have misremembered some of the story/ characters so i apologize if its inaccurate to wonderland or its characters in any way. I got way to invested in creating the character and story and almost forgot that that wasnt the point. At some point i think the character just completely changes and i low key hate it. Im really bad at writing headcannons instead of full fledged fics.

Trigger warnings: fighting, she /her pronouns used, slight angst toward the end but happy ending, not proofread

-being alices daughter you are considered kind of weird by the aks, (think luna lovegood), you are kind of dreamy and constantly in your own thoughts but you still have a very strong own opinion on everything. You say what you think even if others might not like that.

-You also have a very different sense of style than most girls in auradon. You played alot with different colours and textures always looking slightly crazy (you took inspiration from your godfather, the mad hatter). Your blonde hair was cut to a short messy bob with short bangs, and always changing coloured streaks throughout.

-you dont have the same view of good and bad as most others , and you dont think the vks should be judged by what their parents did and immediately try to befriend them and continuesly defend them

-when mal runs away to the isle you insist on joining the other vks and ben, as you do well in new and different invironments and later because you are an incredible sword fighter, your mother having thought you all she knows, just in case you ever needed to fight a jabberwookie type beast yourself.

-Due to your personal style not being very auradon, you didnt really have to disguise as much as ben when going to the isle.

-On the isle you felt surprisingly comfortable, as you liked the weird and almost liminal athmosphere that it had

-the first time you met harry was right after bens kidnapping, when harry came to tell you all about it.

-Harry has this theatrical almost a little eccentric way of talking and moving, which intruiged you pretty quickly. Of course , You didnt like or trust him, he did just kidnap one of your best friends, but you were intruiged non the less.

"And who is this little lassy?"

You told him your name with a glint of interest and mischif in your eyes. "Daughter of Alice in Wonderland."

"How interesting."

"I was just thinking the same thing. Whats your Name?"

"Harry Hook." He introduced himself with adramatic bow, before making fun of jay and barking at carlos.

- The other three had watched the interaction in confusion and wonder. They knew you were a little odd but seeming this confortable with harry after knowing what he did to ben?

"What was that?!"

"What?"

"Dont be nice to hook! He just kidnapped your best friend!"

"yea.. But he is quite interesting." And as an afterthougt: "and kind of pretty dont you think?"

"NO! Concentrate please. He is the enemie alright?!"

"Yea whatever, lets go tell mal about this shit."

-You go with Mal and evie to see dizzy, and instantly get along.

-Later while Mal and Uma are talking (singing), you cant help your eyes from glancing over at harry every few seconds. He did look good, with his red coat, the old silver jook on his left hand, and the messy black eyeshadow around his striking blue eyes.

"He is really beutiful dont you think?" That question was mostly directed towards evie who just shot you a dissapproving look. "I'm just saying. purely aesthetically."

-You simply shrugged and watched the situation continue to unfold, swordhand on the hilt of your sword at your side. When the fight breaks out you stand against harry. For better of for forse.

"Hello Pretty boy." You raise you swordand get into a defensive position.

"Wonderland girl."

-You kept making little comments about his looks and his sword fighting which he of course returned in his own flirty way. You quite enjoyed going back and forth like that. Witty comments, smirks and flirty smiles, and fighting more for show at this point instead of actually trying to beat each other. Trying to make this surprisingly pleasant moment last as long as possible.

-until you heard an urgend shout of your name from Mal.

"Sorry in advance." In a quick movement you snatched harrys hook and threw it down into the water. Before a shoked Harry can jump after it you catch his arm and talk to him in a slightly hushed voice.

"I really hope this wasnt our last meeting pretty boy." Before running off with the others.

-You dont see each other again until Audrey turns evil, but you do still think about harry. Is it stupid considering you met like twice and he was you enemy? Yea. Did you care? not really. He was georgeous, funny, good with a sword. Your dream guy. Except for the fact that he was supposedly your enemy. but then again when had you ever cared about that kinda stuff.

-His black lined blue piercing eyes were burned into your brain.

-In the six months until you saw him again you had become mal and bens unofficial bodyguard, spening most of your time with them or with evie, your sword has taken permanent residence at your side, only taking it of to sleep or shower and even then it was always in grabbing distance. Mals paranoia about uma had actually started to get to you.

-You are at evies house when audrey shows up and spells mal. You join them in going back to the isle to retrieve hades ember.

-When your bikes get stolen you cant help but smile at the sight. Yea its shitty but he is still beautiful.

"Pretty boy!"

He drawls you name in his scottish accent and you mentally swoon.

"Thats my bike!"

"Oh yea? Come and get it back then." Before driving of.

-You run after them (except mal and celia ofc),and at one point you split upbecause the boys on the bikes did so. You follow harry and when the others are out of sight he slows to a stop. You catch up to him with a grin.

"Nice to see you again Hook. I was hoping we would meet again."

"I was too Lassie."

-The next 10-ish minutes are filled with flirty banter and tales of what happened in the last six months. It felt like you've known each other for years (as clichee as that sounds).

-You almost forgot why you were there until you heard jay shouting your name.

"Where are you, Mal got the thing come on."

You quickly turn to Harry again.

"Go! Before they see you and make it a whole thing."

"What bout your bike?"

"Keep it pretty boy, i doubt the others got theirs back so it would be weird if i did."

With a last sly grin harry leans towards you "I will see you again very soon."

Before you could question what 'very soon' meant, he had already driven of.

Just in time because Jay and the others turned the corner behind you.

"There you are! What are you doing? come on!"

"Sorry. Was chasing after the bike." You Give them a small smile before walking past them. "You coming?"

-To say you were surprised when harry and gil jumped through the barries after them would be an understatement.

"Pretty boy?!"

"'ello Darling. we're just coming for a wee visit"

-You tried , just like evie, to get the two groups to work together. Harry mostly walked next to you or Uma. At some point you hung back so he culd walk in between you and doesnt have to kep switching. He caught up with uma but still kept the constant flirts towards you up.

-Everyone was really confused on why you two seemed so good and almost comfortable around each other, not to mention the flirting. Evie was the only one who knew of your little crush so she send you a few knowing smirks.

-During the knight fight you and harry fought as a team. Incedibly well might i say.

-You were somewhat enthusiastic about evies icebreaker idea, enjoying the idea that the two groups could finally work together.

"Harry great accent."

"Shes right. It is a good accent."

-The flirting just wouldnt stop, comments thrown at each other, bumping shoulders while walking, even brushing your hands against each others on occasion. You had joined the boys in looking for ben.

"To make sure jay and harry dont kill each other."

-Gil doing the icebreaker and bonding with jay.

meanwhile you and harry in the background:

"We should do that icebreaker pretty boy."

"oh yea?"

"Yea. You've got really pretty eyes."

"And you are really good with a sword lass." His hook just slightly gracing your cheek before something in gil and jays conversation sparks his interest.

-When finding ben you had immediately pushed harry behind you and unsheathed your sword out of instinct. Jay has to pull both of you out of bens way because both of you got distrcated by how close you were standing to each other. After making sure ben was alright you made sure harry was too.

(instead of flirting with jane he flirts with you)

"Well well well, thank you for trying to protect me there darling." The hook was under you chin this time.

"No problem pretty boy." You smirk back.

Ben had his little freak out. Jay and carlos had one too for slightly different reasons.

"when did this happen? you and hook?"

You just shrugged and started walking off.

The boys just looked at eachother thouroghly confused.

-After everyone reuniting and you secretely updating evie on the harry situation you all made your way to fairy cottage. When you found chad you had to half hide in harrys shoulder to hide your laughter because god was it good to see chad taken down a few pecks like that.

-Then Mal dropped the bomb. Closing the barrier forever. You couldnt believe it. You were always a firm believer in the vk programm. And you had honestly hoped that even if harry etc were send back, they would get out someday, or you might go visit them. You considered them freinds at that point. But now that wasnt possible. You tried to comfort harry and uma in some way but it was to no avail.

"Im so sorry you guys... I didnt know." You had tears in your eyes yourself.

"Dont worry about it Darling. Its nae your fault." Placing his hand, his actual hand, on your cheek for a second, to wipe away the tear that had fallen. Before he walked of with uma.

"Harry....."

Mal was shocked to see your tears at the fact that harry was leaving. she had absolutely no idea this was a thing. It wasnt really. you didnt have enough time for it to actually become a thing. You watched harry and uma leave before evie walked up to you to hug you.

She talked to mal but you didnt want to listen.

suddenly there was a bright light before it went dark for a bit. When you came to again, Mal was gone. It didnt take you guys long to piece together what must have happened. so you went to find mal.

-You and harry were both incredibly relieved to see that the other was okay. *cue big hug and an almost kiss that turned into a kind of awkward cheek kiss before another hug *

-Harry announcing that he is actually going back to the isle felt like another punch in the gut. Again that sounds dumb considereing how little you actually knew each other but you didnt care.

-Harry and you talked before he left. He gave you one of his rings "so you wont forget me darling". So you give him one of yours "then dont you forget me either". *cue more crying and hugs, between all of you *

-Mal announcing that the barrier will be taken down during the engagement party was the best thing that couldve happened to you at that point.

"Looks like you get a chance with your pretty boy after all." Evie.

Uma to harry on the isle: "Now you can get your pretty girl, pretty boy." While bumbing his shoulder.

As soon as you could spot eachother on the bridge you ran into each others arms.

-Kith

-like a lot of em

-Your friends from both sides were incredibly happy for both of you.

#descendants x reader #descendants #disneys descendants #harry hook #harry hook x reader #alice in wonderland #alice in wonderland reader #writing #reader insert #fem reader

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lixielovess · 1 month

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"and i still dont care, i only care about you and how you feel. if it meant that I'd have to kill everyone in the world except for you and then myself just to prove that i love you, then I'll do so."

hyunjin x fem!chubby!reader

warnings: reader is insecure about her body, implied ED, swearing

genre: angst, fluff

hyunjin was a childhood friend of yours, you always hung out with him and you enjoyed being around him. but you were always considered the 'ugly' friend by your other friends, sometimes your family and you yourself agreed sometimes.. ofcourse he never did, he thought you were absolutely beautiful, tough he never said it.

when you were in junior high school, you could never be friends with anyone without someone shipping you two, but with you.. everyone always considered it as a joke. like you were a joke, people kept teasing hyunjin about liking you and he always denied it, and you believed him. he was never harsh about it he was genuinely nice, he was always polite with it but it always seemed to hurt you. you loved him, and deep down he knew he liked you aswell.

he was the handsome popular guy and you were just another one of his fangirls who just happened to be one of his friends. though you did have girl friends alot of girls seemed to hate you because you were friends with hyunjin, saying that you only hung out with him to distract yourself from how fugly you actually are. and honestly you thought the same, it was to the point you starved yourself and had to go to the hospital because you didn't eat the normal amount of food a healthy person should eat for about a month, but despite not eating almost anything at all you still looked like that.

and suddenly when you were in highschool in senior year when in the schools garden, he stood infront of you, bouquet in hand looking straight into your eyes "y/n y/l/n i-... i loved you.. i always have.. so please-" you cut him off. "is this some sort of joke..?" he froze up, confused, time seemed to stop as he just stared at you completely confused "what?"

"did one of your friends force you to do this? did you lose a bet? do you think its funny 'confessing' to the ugly chubby girl?" you we're used to it, guys confessing to you, going out with you because it was a dare or a jokey joke. but its happened to you over and over again for too many times to the point where you couldn't tell the difference between that and the real thing... and when someone actually had feelings, that someone being hyunjin, you turned him down because you didn't trust anyone that said they liked you, either way if it was true or not.

"Y/n-" "save it." angry tears welled up in your eyes as he just stared at you in disbelief "listen! please- im not joking! i genuinely do-" you grit your teeth, holding in your tears as you try not to break down sobbing "i thought you were my friend, hyunjin."

"i am! and i want us to be more than that-"

"Liar! you don't like me, i know you don't. you denied it since we were 10 and even until now you still do. feelings don't change overnight. i cant believe i thought you were my friend, never talk to me again you piece of shit" you ran off into somewhere, you dont know where you just walked. a few hours later you somehow arrived home, you waltzed into your room and just locked yourself in there.

days go by and you return to school completely ignoring him, everytime he came to talk to you, you just brushed him off like he was nothing.

your friends still hung out with him, and they brought you along when they hung out with him, but what else could you do? not hang out with your friends who've known you for years..? no. eventually you forgave him and tolerated him, and started hanging out with eachother more and more.

it wasn't until recently when you guys were alone, he took your hand and looked straight into your eyes when he confessed, again. "i.. i just wanted you to know that it wasnt a joke, i genuinely did love you back then and i didn't care about how you looked you were absolutely beautiful regardless. and i still dont care, i only care about you and how you feel. if it meant that I'd have to kill everyone in the world except for you and then myself just to prove that i love you, then I'll do so."

#stray kids #hwang hyunjin #stray kids angst #hyunjin x reader #skz x you #writing

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polyamorouspunk · 3 months

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Fully agree with you on the trans thing. It’s something I struggled with for a LONG time that I didnt *want* to be fully 100% trans. Like I fit in with trans people, I was transmasc, but I never felt *trans*. If that makes any sense??

People used to tell me all the time that I had to be trans if I checked xyz boxes. And I hated it. Now, years later, I’ve made it to a point that I just *am*. And it took me SO LONG to realize that was even an option. To just be myself without putting a label on it. I dont need to be fully cis or fully trans. Im just a little bit of everything and fully me.

It still confuses my queer friends. That I just *do not* care and dont put any importance on it. So its nice to see someone else with that opinion. Thank you

Yes!

Listen like I do not care if people reblog my posts and disagree with me. Like that’s you’re right as an individual. But what I don’t like is when I make a post talking about my identity and someone “corrects” me on it.

The problem with the push to be super inclusive, sometimes, is that people stop making it about who *wants* to be a part and who doesn’t.

I know people who are gay men who have 0 interest in being part of the LGBTQ+ community. Gay men who are like I’m not queer I’m not part of the community I’m just gay but I’m not identifying with the community in any way.

I know people who have described their “gender” to me almost verbatim the way that trans people have described to me their gender and have told me they do not consider themselves trans in any way, and it kind of sucks because I’m like… I know that if I were someone else they might put that label on that person even if that person doesn’t want it?

I’ve had people ON THIS BLOG send me asks telling me I am not trans and other people send me asks saying I’m not cis. Like lmao it’s so fucking funny pick one you guys. I gotta be one or the other- SIKE no I don’t. I’ve had people dump me over saying “I’m both cis and trans” which in hindsight seems kinda ableist because that was actually when I started IDing as plural so like. The idea you can’t be both is like. You know there are people with different experiences than you right. Like some common enough to be in textbooks. Not like some “out there” concepts like if you can grasp the concept of DID you can understand how perhaps to some degree a person can be different than their literal AGAB without being trans. Just for one example.

Sometimes I also fail to realize this but. When you reblog someone’s post, or comment on it, or send them an ask, etc… you are coming into THEIR space. I mean it very much went through my mind to be like “just ignore it” but I was like someone is coming onto MY post where I try and validate MY gender experiences and telling me people like ME are quite literally exactly what I’m talking about where I’m like actually I’m valid if I’m a little trans and outright saying “YOU AREN’T A LITTLE TRANS UWU” like. Hi it’s you you’re the problem you’re the people I’m validating myself to. Like I don’t care how politely and nicely you try and dress it up with inclusive language do not put me into a box I do not want to be put in because you think “that I have to be trans because I check xyz boxes” yeah literally. I know fully cis people who check “xyz boxes” and I ain’t out here telling them that actually they’re trans and valid for it. Like bro if you tell me you’re cis who am I to disagree.

In the near future you’ll never hear the words “I’m transgender” come out of my mouth directly. I might post it on here or say irl that I “dabble in transgenderism” but I do not outright say irl in person that I am transgender not because I’m “dealing with internalized transphobia” and “not ready to fully accept myself to be transgender in the real world instead of just offline” like no I just don’t ID as “transgender” period. Or you know what maybe I am but also who are you to say that’s what I am? How are you helping exactly? How is acting like I can’t “really accept myself for who I truly am” helping me any? Idk. Just because you have good intentions doesn’t make it better than the people who have bad intentions. Both are issues. Both are problematic.

Learn to go “actually it’s not my fucking business if someone is trans or cis or neither” and “they can call themselves whatever they want” and that includes NOT wanting to be included.

#bro like even Nimona says in the movie ‘I’m not a girl I’m just Nimona’#like I’m not a transgender person I’m just me #punk gets mail #personal

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mikeyelistsukasa · 1 year

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Hiiii mikey! Could I request separate headcanons of yandere Tsukasa and Mitsuba with a smart soft cute shy fragile s/o? I just need some fluff in my life 🥹

Feel free to ignore I just thought you were bored so have a good day!

Yandere! Tsukasa & Mitsuba with a smart but shy Darling

Ofc sorry for the wait♥︎

I sadly failed to make it very yandere im sorry i read the word yandere at the end of writing

He actually very much liked you.

It was fun to tease you around because of how shy you were

You two are a cute couple if you ignore Tsukasa‘s possessive behaviour

He didn’t like it when Sakura Natsuhiko or Mitsuba talked to you for too long

He sometimes doesn’t even realise that he is jealous

So if you end up talking for too long with someone, it can even be your classmates. He will start standing next to you and eventually hug you wanting for you to make an excuse to leave the person early

If you do end up leaving. Then- hooray! He is do happy as he started to give kisses all over your face

If you don’t. Then he will start to get a little more annoyed and telling you to hurry or else things might get messy

He wishes he could just kill everyone in this school but he knows it would traumatise you and you wouldn’t return his affection

I headcanon that he once heard sakura or natsuhiko talk about a certain „popular handsome guy“ named teru, who made everyone love him,

Something about this made tsukasa…worry?

Sounds weird for him to worry am i right?

What if that prince boy will also make you fall in love with him???

You can’t!!! He is your boyfriend and your eyes should be only on him

He thought he will end Teru if he will cause too much trouble

(I can totally see him one time wanting to attack teru bit accidentally attacked kou instead. Rip kou 😭)

Tsukasa is definitely the type to be by your side 24/7

No matter how smart you were,You mostly always gave in for his hugs and affection in general because your soft personality just couldn’t say no to him

He without hesitation killed people 100% if they ever abused your weakness

He loves that you love him even if he can’t leave the school

𖣯

„S/OOOOOOOOO let’s do something“

„Oh no oh no oh no oh- o-Oh! Tsukasa!!! You startled me“

You said sighing in relief that its just him, your reaction confused him obv

„ne S/o why were you panicking a second ago??? Did something bad happen???“

„Oh its just.. one of my classmates asked me if i could help them with homework and..since im smart they came for help to me and-and i dont know if i should say yes or no…“ you answered shyly

„No! Of cours not!“ he quickly replied „you don’t have time to help dumb people like them!!! You need to hang out me right now and not them!“ he said sounding pretty annoyed but his face kept a smile which was pretty unsettling

„Alright ill say i can’t today..“

He definitely asks you who wanted to do homework with you and then kills him at the end

When he first met you

He thought you were weird for being so shy

Are you trying to copy him with you cuteness?

Because he accidentally fell for you-

And when i say he fell for you, then i mean he fell for you 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚕𝚢

Would ask tsukasa and natsuhiko to help him so that you can see him(unless you already can)

He would take so many pictures of you, wether its you eating your lunch, talking with someone, or accidentally falling asleep in class

Oh btw i probably totally forgot to say this but Mitsuba HATES it when you talk with someone else

He wants all your attention on him, might try to guilt trip you by saying

“please stay with me s/o…you’re the only one who can see and hang out with me *insert puppy eyes*”

It is hard for him to confess tbh

But he will probably eventually confess first considering he knows your shyness will prevent you from confessing first

He would ask you stuff that he knows that you 100% know.

10% him paying attention 90% him looking at you while you’re talking/explaining to him

When he finally confesses and you accept he will be so overjoyed

I mean its not like he expected something else- he totally knew you’d accept such a cute boy like him😙🫶

There is a small chance that he would kill anyone, he definitely considers it when he feels jealous, but he does not want to distance yourself from him because you found out how obsessed he is over you

He found most likely just make them trip or get them in trouble. Or maybe just scare them to stay away from you

You would probably be upset that almost noone talks with you anymore for some reason. But hey…

You have him,and you don’t need anyone other than him♡︎

𖣯

„s/oooo…you will stay at school this night too right?“

„Oh i-i don’t know mitsuba…i have do much stuff to do an-„

„Pleaaaaase“

„B-but kou-kun might be upset if i wont come since we-„

„Kou??…tch that lame ass boy with trafficker on his ear??? Why the hell do you spend time with him in the first place?!“

„Well i-„

„it doesn’t matter, you’re staying because i said so“

You are eventually not able to escape his grasp and you ended up apologizing to kou for not being able to come

Thank you for your wonderful request! I hope i left you satisfied. Please visit again! ♥︎

#tbhk #tbhk x reader #anime #jshk #tbhk x y/n #jshk x reader #x reader #mitsuba sousuke #jshk tsukasa #tbhk mitsuba #mitsuba x reader #tsukasa x reader #jshk mitsuba #tbhk tsukasa

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enlighten3d · 2 months

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tada dot point oc lore that i thought up on my plane ride tonight (just got home agh finallyyy) and yes. this is a curse now. oc lore be upon ye/silly :3

-So Tim (janette’s dad) did leave for a reason other than oh weird cult. Diana did try to kill him. He’s blind in his right eye because of it (she had to kill someone to become the cult leader)

-Janette shot huan lin in the back of the head and then immediately hopped back in the car they were driving and sat there in dead silence. and then got jumpscared by huan’s ghost who was like ‘WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT’/hj

-Dana and Tim were a highschool couple (guy who’s ‘alternative’ for the 60’s and very religious girl the couple ever)

-Janette originally was meant to be in a polycule/qpr thing with josh and adele but then @koymoa made adele a terrible person so. lore happened.

-ADELE IS KIND OF THE REASON FOR CLAIRE’S DEATH AND RYAN SAW HIS SISTER’S BODY GET DECAPITATED. poor guy.

okok byeee i will send non lore related asks i promisee

I WOULDVE REPLIED TO THIS EARLIER BUT TUMBLR PUT ME IN POST JAIL RAHHHHH (posted too much. i hate post limit ): )

OC LORE BE UPON ME 💥💥‼️ i have been fed... just so you know, this is like.. throwing enrichment into my enclosure. enrichment that i also eat. this is great.

O H. OH BOY. HALF-BLIND HUH?? WELL THATS F U N . id imagine that didnt affect his life in any way /s. does he wear an eyepatch..... he should wear an eyepatch.. (/nf, this is just Silly). what does he say when ppl ask him how he lost the eye.. "oh my evil cult leader ex-wife tried to kill me. its fine tho ! i took one of our children and left the other to suffer (:"

AHEHFJFJR. huan lin mustve been SOOO confused ngl. one second he wasnt dead... the next he was, and was a GHOST at it. imagine your best friend killing you, you become a ghost, find her, and shes just sitting ominously in her car..... gods, poor janette. did she even expect the ghost?? she mustve, right? considering her mum already haunts her...

weird fucking power couple ngl.. in the bad way LMAO

..oh how the turns table..... imagine happy qpr jodelette (thats their ship name now /hj (there is probably already ship names and shit, i just dont know them so im making stuff up so i dont have to type out all their names zWhmJEJFR)) meeting Fucked Up jadele. like. how would that go down. these guys are Silly and Happy, no fucked up bullshit... and these guys want to literally kill eachother and are traumatised as fuck. would evil adele want to kill happy adele. would she. id bet she would ... little acrophobic motherfucker..

OH. ?? RYAN!?? YIU GOO?? poor guy.. what the fuvk.. first his arm gets chopped off by his gf, next his sister gets decapitated which is somehow caused by his mother?? (idk if thats the actual order of events) oh thats Fun. giving the guy. a shock blanket, i swear

ALSO. WHAT HAPPENS TO OLIVER. PLEASE TELL ME. I FORGOT TO ASK THST. (olivers kemis kid right? the one that tim just drops off at janettes place and then Leaves?? it was smth like that..)

SEND ME ALLLL THE LORE ASKS EVER. I WILL EAT THEM !!! GOOD SOUP!! ENRICHMENT !!! heheheheh

#asks #murder lesbians #i am thinking sooo muvh abt happy qpr jodelette now.#i am thinking about them.#theu are in my brain.#what vouldve been....#TOXIC YURI THO-💥💥💥💥#ajndkfkfjdkg

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magicalmyu · 1 year

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okay fuck it we ball, star of eden: welt lore analysis brought to you by magicalmyu, welt joyce #1 fan self proclaimed

(image from discord bc the ingame version wont fit into one screenshot)

so here's the lore from the star of eden pri-arm! the base form, star of eden: anti entropy, has lore meant to represent welt yang. but star of eden: world is all about everyone's favorite pathetic herrscher, welt joyce.

The youth was born in the void, where truth and lies simultaneously hovered around him.

funny story about this line, it used to drive me insane before chapter 33 explained it. before chapter 33, joyce's origin was very vague, there were implications that he just. didnt exist prior to the first eruption but we never got a proper confirmation until recently!

in bronya's words, "the consciousness known as Welt Joyce did not exist in this world prior to the first eruption." hes sort of similar to elysia and the herrscher of sentience (you could argue somewhere in between?), where he was a being born from honkai itself, rather than a human corrupted by the honkai. still, there are some vague connections between him and karl gustav, einstein's former teacher and psychologist, but honestly i dont feel like explaining all of that rn. curse you honkai moon arc and your unnecessarily confusing writing.

Despite that, he always smiled at the world, picking up broken fragments of souls from raging fires and abandoned ruins again and again.

this is just a first eruption description. he collected the fragmented souls and thoughts of the 300k victims of the berlin eruption, again and again, knowing that it was all in vain. he wanted to be a hero but he couldn't. he wanted to bring them salvation but he was not a savior. the "he always smiled at the world" line is also something id want to point out, brings another parallel to elysia. there may be some significance in how he was the first herrscher to choose humanity after elysia, making him the first recipient of her blessing. i hate this game frfr

The courageous butterfly finally escaped its destiny.

oh boy! i think there's a double meaning!

the obvious first meaning is the connection to the first eruption. "the butterfly fell on your fingertips. you repaired its wings." the butterfly escaped death thanks to joyce, yada yada

second meaning makes you look deeper. i could argue that the butterfly here could represent joyce himself, the "courageous butterfly" who escaped his destined path as a herrscher to fight for humanity. butterflies also represent rebirth (possibly going back to his connection with karl but again thats very vague) and new beginnings (joyce "starting anew" after meeting ein and tesla)

i think it wouldn't be too far fetched to say joyce could be represented by this butterfly, bronya did compare joyce to seele back in chapter 28 so maybe im not completely insane

The world told him, "Perhaps even you have forgotten how kind you truly are."

heres another line that dealt high emotional damage to me. you know i was going crazy trying to figure out what that quote meant only to reread the ae vn randomly one day and. and its just a quote from ein. its just from ein.

this is a fan translation, so its not consistent, but i actually went to check the chinese version of the lore description and visual novel, and its actually word for word! this line also calls back to the line "he always smiled at the world" from earlier, in a way. as for "The world told him," this could have multiple meanings

ein was welt's "world" - the most obvious explanation. makes sense considering ein was the one who gave him his name and his first "real" friend

ein represented welt's "world" - similar to number 1 except less direct, imo this is more likely. ein, a human from "the world" said this to welt, a herrscher and outcast of the world

this is a mistranslation, the correct translation is "The one who called him the world told him," - also one of the most likely ones, according to a japanese user on twitter, this should be the correct translation, but im not sure if this is how its actually translated in jp. this one's a lot more direct and obvious, ein literally called him the world

now onto the skill names

first skill: Freedom Trail

ein, tesla, and joyce first found the star of eden after following the freedom trail and listening to HA. pretty straightforward

second skill: Ulysses

it may be pretty well known that welt got his name from ein, but tesla was actually the one who gave joyce his last name! she based it off of James Joyce, author of Ulysses. fitting for a bookworm like joyce, haha

third skill: Danny Boy

ohhhh this one hurt. oh i got so caught off guard by this one. i had to process it for multiple minutes when i saw it. it seems humorous out of context but i swear its sad

in the visual novel, an old folk song called "oh danny boy" pops up a lot. its a song sung by karl and emma to ein and one of the last memories ein has of her old friend karl. joyce himself also knew the song, likely bc of his connection to karl, and he and ein sung it together in this very nice scene between them. wow it really hurt when they called back to that moment,,,,

alright, i think thats everything! man this weapon's lore still makes me really sad. but i hope i covered everything, and if anyone has anything to add then please do! id love to see what others thought of this weapon

#welt joyce #hi3 #honkai impact #long post #hope i dont get flamed for these takes honkaiblr scares me

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cocktailjjrs · 2 years

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TR Manga Spoilers!

Be warned, there will be spoilers from Manga chapters (Mostly 200 - 262)

FYI, I have not studied Medicine or any related branch, so what ever i have here is completely based on what is available on google and TR manga. Pardon me if i make any mistakes. I acknowledge the following symptoms can also be associated with any other disorder, but i’m considering only one here.

So i read the manga from ch 200 onwards thrice after ch 262 (yeah, it was one heck of a ride and i lived through the pain thrice) and something just kinda clicked. So Yeah! there are Manga spoilers, read at your own risk.

Coming straight at it, I have a feeling that Mikey most probably has Split Personality Disorder.

For those who dont know (Source Google) -

Split Personality Disorder or Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is a mental health condition. People with DID have two or more separate identities. These personalities control their behavior at different times. Each identity has its own personal history, traits, likes and dislikes.

People may experience: Behavioural: impulsivity, self-destructive behaviour, or self-harm Mood: anxiety, feeling detached from self, or mood swings Psychological: altered consciousness, depression, or flashback Also common: amnesia or blackout

Why did i reach to this one? Well the most glaring instance was this -

Ch 200

When i first time read this, i didn’t think much of it. But as we go farther in the manga, this line makes so much sense. In the consecutive page he even names it as a “Dark Impulse” - like a person.

In the same chapter, it is stated that - “The ones who held that impulse back were probably my older brother, Emma and Baji” - but to me it seems like Mikey had people for whom he tried to maintain control over his “Other Self”; but as they dwindled in numbers, he gave up trying to control his own body, letting his “Other self” take over more often than not. (This one have its flaws, im not totally convinced myself) So he did what was best, pushed everyone away (Ch 217 where draken has a small falshback explaining to Mitchi how mikey made them hate him) thus we reach the bonten timeline, where if we compared BontenMikey to the Mikey pic pinned on Naoto’s Memo board(or whatever that is called), to me it seems like the future got worse and worse for Mikey himself with every iterative time-skip. Like in the origianal timelike he atleast had some flesh on his bones and was not just a skeleton giraffe.

Even after all this, Mitchi still went to see him (bless our crybaby hero, he is going to need it ch 263 onwards). I think there Mikey snapped.

Idk how much this counts, but i think the sign of Dark Impulse / Mikey’s Other Self is not just mikey’s eyes turning white. Because, in Ch 202 we see him having black eyes throughout, but there is a subtle difference.

Like this panel (ch 202), its when he shot Mitchi. Insted of having horizonal lines like most of the manga (for almost all characters), here we see them to be swirly or circular. And this, after two chapters is followed by (Ch 204) -

Here two things,

“When i came to, i had shot you” - implying someone else (Most likely his ”other self”) had taken over and shot Mitchi. Symptoms say it is common for people with split personality to have blackouts.

His eyes are back to having those horizontal lines, again implying maybe he wasn’t in control of his own action

And then we move to the final arc (which i can’t believe is still going on!!!). We get more characters from here on. Honestly, i was confused about who belongs to which gang for half of these people till the second read, but then i realised it was mostly just Tenjiku ppl joining Rokuhara Tandai, while Brahman basically had all 1st gen Black Dragons lead by Senju (On side note - she is a badass girlboss and deserves utmost respect from every single one!)

By the next time we see Mikey (Which a long ass time) he had stopped caring for whatever is happening, his sorrounding, comrades or the situation as whole (apathetic is the word here) Symptoms say for people with split personality have a feeling of detachment from self (I’m gonna add and say it also extends to detachment from their surrounding).

I also think that South having “Dark Impulse” was a clickbait; Mikey thought they were “Dark Impulse”, but to me it seemed like South had an extreme bloodlust riding on pure demonic pleasure that cannot be cured until it kills someone (I’m not saying Mikey doesn’t get these, i feel its his “other self” who has the Bloodlust)

In Ch 231, we see the “Dark Impulse” taking over Mikey, that’s after he fells emply inside - no pain or suffering from Draken’s death or Kakucho’s punches. (Depression is feeling emptiness; which also contributes as a symptom to split persoality)

Interestingly, in the same chapter there is this panel,

It looks like some demon’s POV. That again made me think, its Mikey’s “Other Self” and that is how he views his surrounding, because this other personality only knows darkness, nothing else.

And then we see South vs Mikey, which is then followed by Mikey killing South and almost killing Mitchi (Now this Mikey sure has bloodlust, he asked three different people how they wanna die and told the fourth that he should die, not to ignore the fact that he actually killed one). Mitchi is only alive because Senju stepped in and disbanded Brahman (does that count as an off trigger?), i think its poetic how he saved her just earlier that evening and she returned the favour; equavivalent exchange i guess. (Okay, that was complete off topic and i touched a tanget there)

We then come to the whole Senju blaming herself for Mikey, Baji and Sanzu changing forever. Like most people, even i believe (or hope that atleast) there is a lot more to this story than just a toy-freaking-plane breaking. We don’t see Mikey after senju tells him it was sanzu who broke it (i can never hate her for that - i remember doing the same thing many times in my childhood just to save my skin, its general kids tendency).

Also, Senju isnt the most reliable source here, she herself mentioned she couldnt remember why she lied, so it’s totally possible this whole matter had POV distortion, also the whole Sanzu getting scar seem to have happened after some time than the plane incidence - Even Sanzu mentioned that was just the trigger, Ch 250 (yeah, im still waiting for the explanation for that line Wakui san). But one thing can be, this maybe the firstime Mikey’s “Other self” made apperance (White irisis and all) - Something traumatic is to heppen for a person to be diagnosed with Split personality - here i debunk my own theory saying that there wasnt anything traumatic at all (unless we get the whole story, its pointless)

When the Final War begins between KMG and Toman 2.0, Mikey says “Is there a need for two “toman”? There’s no need for that right?”; because to him Tokyo Manji and Kanto Manji can be used irreversably, it felt like to him they are one and the same. (does that make sense?)

[Ch 245, when Mitchi punched Kakucho, that was the first emotion of Surprise final arc Mikey had shown contrasting to his apathetic behaviour till this moment]

And then we have savage mikey, sitting on top of container watching the fight unfold like he is having the first row sit for an action thriller (Only popcorn are missing, lol). Everything seems Normal till this point, way too normal to be good.

And then we have the recent chapter. (I remember laughing when in Ch 247 Mitsuya said he will be dragging mikeys ass down, because i knew once Mikes decends from his perch its over for Toman 2.0 - which is basically Ch 262)

In all this, Sanzu’s role is a bit weird to me, there is Ch. 256 where he assures Mikey “no matter how deeper he fell into shadows”, Sanzu will always be with him because he is his only friend (Baji and Draken won’t approve of this though). But in Ch. 262 we see him clearly declaring he was specifically waiting for Mikey to be consumed by the said darkness, for Mikey’s “Other Self”. Now here’s the thing, for a person with split personality, their each personality has a different history, trait, likes and dislikes. Does that mean Sanzu is after something only Mikey’s “Other self” can give him? Was it about revenge? or something completely different that is yet to released?

In Ch 261, Sanzu said “Mikey’s fate has been sealed since he was a kid”. When i checked how young can split presonality be diagnosed, the result showed between age 5 - 10; and wasnt this the same age Mikey was inseperable from Baji and Sanzu? Makes me think, the trigger he talked about had lead to something way more than imaginable, like a domino effect - only the succeeding pieces grew larger and larger. Maybe somehow, down the line Sanzu was convinced that if Mikey stays in darkness others wont have to? (Not sure here)

(I’m not going into the whole second time leaper thing, it makes my brain hurt with all the possibilities, theories and what-not’s)

In the latest ch 262, the trigger seemed everyone cheering Toman; it looked like Mikey had flashback’s of all the times they used to cheer for him, but now its against him. I’m gonna go a bit out of the way to say Mikey is currently in chaos himself, confused with two Tomans (KMG and Toman 2.0) and his own two personalities, add to that fact that Mitchi told him BontenMikey reveled his true feelings asked to be saved which might also feel threatening to one - someone knowing your deepest thoughts and thus he snapped. And we know the end results.

There seems to be no cure for Split personality, the only thing that can Help is various forms of therapy (And we have all been saying to take these kids to a therapist for a long time now!).

We are almost at the end now, makes me wounder how Wakui is gonna wrap this up; coz a haste work will take the whole manga to waste. I really hope there are legit reasons for the blank spaces that we have, i wish its not the ‘power of friendship’ that saves Mikey but an actual therapy or honest to god fight (which seems like asking for too much after ch 262)

Because this last panel actually scared me, makes me think someone is going to join the party in heaven soon. (Let’s pray that doesn’t happen either)

With this, i rest my case.

Wow! That was long, i touched tangents a few times there. It had been going on in my head for quite some time now so i just had to get it off my chest.

Anyways, thank you for coming to my ted talk! Toodles!

PS: in chapter 224 we see “Kamikaze” written on Mikey’s bike, i was curious what it meant.

‘A Japanese aircraft loaded with explosives and making a deliberate suicidal crash on an enemy target’ (also known as “ reckless or potentially self-destructive.”) - objectively something self-sacrificing that takes out the target, like Mikey taking out everyone in his path (like in every freaking timeline!) while also self destructing (Manila Mikey and Bonten Mikey)

Yeah, sounds about right.

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missingkittyfan · 2 years

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im curious, will there be another oc in the future?

OOH now im thinking a potential character trying to rival aaron on who will get together with the reader first :0

(plot twist, that character used to be a yandere for aaron but after noticing the reader was close to him they focused on them to potentially sabotage their relationship but ended up falling in love with them)

my mind is on a frenzy with yandere concepts but dont have the strength to write qwq

🌻 mun caiden - yes, another oc will be introduced soon enough!

to answer your second question, aaron would not be able to notice their.. odd behavior since he's so engrossed about his work. usually making other customers' orders but will give them a polite smile every now and then, unaware about their obsession with him.

that was until of course you came, recently moving into this town and now entering inside this building to greet him that endearing smile of yours. you made small talk with him, got your stuff and left. leaving him a lovestruck mess, hoping he would see you again..

and if you did — this would gave him the opportunity to get to know you better, asking a few questions about your likes and dislikes so he'd take notes. of course, if he wanted to win you over he'll have to know so much about you! he even memorized the day you had met him and how you felt worried for him at that moment.

little did he know, there was someone overhearing their conversations every millisecond. lurking at your every move as they felt that painful feeling in their chest — knowing you were getting close with him everyday. they felt jealousy, anger and hurt. they couldn't bare to see him with you. you were just a new customer! what does he even see in you?!

although those negative, hateful feelings were still lingering towards you, eventually you somehow managed to charm the individual without your acknowledgement. you weren't even aware if they even existed and yet they now happened to be head over heels for you. now they understood aaron took a liking towards you. they understood why his cheeks would turn red everytime your hand brushed against his.

it was conflicting for them, at first being in denial since they were just studying what he had liked about you so they can somehow sabotaged your relationship with him. so they could finally have him to themselves, but knowing now they have this warm feeling everytime you're nearby. they didn't want to come to terms with it, after all they were supposed to hate you. you were getting in their way, so why are you making them feel this way? this wasn't fair.

it will take them a while to give in, but once they do expect them to now be even more present in aaron's and your life. giving him a smile as they subtly try to pursue you. of course he gets more suspicious about this considering, he haven't really heard much from them until you two were getting close. although tries to brushes it off, considering it would be ridiculous to interrogate them. they have a life, so he shouldn't feel this cautious. but why did he feel something was.. off?

his paranoia doesn't help either once he learns they're trying to get closer towards you! he realizes they're trying to steal you away from him and of course while he isn't happy about this, he can't be making a scene infront of you two. he can't be making a fool of himself.

he isn't fond of sharing so he will somehow drag you away from them making up excuses as he gives them a forced smile. whatever it takes, he'll not let anyone have you. he knows you aren't safe with anyone else around you. he's only doing what's right for you.

you can probably tell i love this concept sm, i can already imagine the two throwing hands while reader has confused and worried expression on their face 💔

#🌻 mun caiden #🌻 mun caiden speaks #🎀❤️ msk: moots #☕ oc: aaron #oc #original character #yandere #male yandere #yandere oc #yandere original character #yandere roleplay blog #yandere rp #yandere roleplay #yandere x darling #yandere oc x reader #yandere x reader #yandere scenarios #yandere concept #♡ ANSWERED

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daegall · 2 years

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i know this is a common trope but trust me. enemies to lovers (one sided hate). where the male hated her for idk what kind of reason (kinda talk shit in front and behind her back) while the female had no idea why he hated her to the point she broke down in front of her friend. and then suddenly one day the girl got pulled in a secluded area and got harassed(or bullied idk but something bad) and the male lead who happened to be not so behind her saw everything rushed towards her helping her.

'i hate you. I don't like seeing people who i considered close to me getting hurt. even if it's the person i hate the most.'

that part hurts like shit because it's the first time the male saw her in a miserable state. the male lead words didn't help the female at all as she was still traumatized so she cried and he comforted her and helped her throughout the whole time (ex: walking her home ig??)

the male kinda started to feel bad for her and hated himself for hating her with a thought he hated her for a childish reason.

there's more to it but I'm gonna stop now lol. I'll probably be spamming you with a lot of plots soon bcs i have tons of ideas and been wanting to write it for a while (to join ur event ofc) but i literally have no idea how they'll confess or how the story will end so ig we'll have to wait and see ☻

(give me ideas please I'm really bad at this confession thing)

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFF IM ONE KNOWN FOR BEST FRIENDS TO LOVERS BUT MANNNNNN THIS HITS THIS HIIIIIIIIIITSSSSS

V CLASSIC EEMIES TO LOVERS WE LOVE TO SEE IT I REALLY LKE IT I'D READ I'D READ FRRRRRRRRR

THE MISUNDERSTANDING AND HIDING FEELINGS AUOGAHDIFHKAFDKJ >>>>>>>>>> AND THE REALIZATION AND REGRET IN EVERYTHING MMMMMMMMMMMM

LIKE LIKE THE OTHER PERSON WHO 'HATED' THEM IS TRYING TO HELP THE HURT PERSON BUT THEY'RE JUST REFUSING BECAUSE THEY'RE STILL SO HURT FROM WHATEVER THEY DID AND SO VERY CONFUSED FROM EVERYTHING

'You know, you're really confusing me.'

"W-what do you mean?"

"I mean, you were shit talking me just the other week, and honestly I didn't really care. But now you're helping me and suddenly being so fucking nice and it's so confusing. Do you hate me? Are--are you doing one of those things where you suck up to people but then suddenly turn on them and then it hurts them? Because if you were to do that, it'd totally fucking work."

IONO MAN THATS ALL I GOT FOR NOW BC I JUST WOKE UP BUT OGOMMOGMOGOMG IT'D LOVE TO HELP WITH THIS PLOT ADN DONT THNK TWICE ABOUT SENDING MORE THESE SOUND SO SPICY

i wish you wrote a fic where... (is it part of this?? idk idk tell me if im wrong)

#asks!#dnaulzz <3

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binder-reviews-by-arden · 2 years

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forthem binder review

i just received this binder in the mail, and decided to post a review. details under the cut

i was a size "ethereal" in this brand. First off, can I mention how much I hate the sizing this company uses? “we dont do sizing bc body positivity” honestly id rather be called fat then go through that confusing shit. picking out your body shape was also confusing as hell, none of those looked like my shape at all. in an effort to be body positive, they just ended up being really confusing and honestly a little insulting. like, come on. kindred? ethereal? fire? amethyst? balance? what the hell do those even mean. i get its supposed to be like “omg sizes dont really MEAN anything” but since they GET the sizes from the apex chest measurement, it would make SO MUCH MORE SENSE for the sizes to just have a number that represent that measurement. way easier than taking the stupid fucking customization quiz every time you wanna see your size. if you were so concerned abt people seeing a number associated with their body, then why are you having measurements at all? if you acknowledge that measurements are incredibly important for clothing (which they are), then WHY are you trying so hard to avoid that fact when giving people their sizes. just condescending especially since the person who made the goddamn things LOOKS pretty thin to begin with so like… who is this helping. just feels off to me. does anyone feel GENUINELY better about themselves bc a quiz called them size “fire” instead of a size “40” after their chest measurement?

but back to the actual binder review. The binder was pretty easy to put on, no issues there. The colour I got for "forest green". The fabric feels kind of like thick swimsuit fabric. It pinched a little under my armpits but I'll go into why I don't want to get a bigger size later. This is likely just due to my stupid disproportionately large ribcage than a flaw with the company's sizing. The reversible style of the binder was pretty interesting. It was fairly comfortable to wear.

As for the actual binding quality? Not good, and worse than all of the binders I've previously reviewed. Honestly fits like a sports bra, which is weird because I could feel it compressing: I got that kind of breathless feeling right after I took it off. The compression I could feel was roughly the same feeling I got with my gc2b binder, except the gc2b binder made me considerably flatter. This is likely due to the front panel design, while the forthem binder is just the same all around. This is the reason why I don't want to get a size up, since it would likely be completely useless even as a bra. I was in the middle of the measurement for my size too. The pinching will likely go away when it stretches though, and i remember a similar feeling when wearing my gc2b binder for the first time.

Comparison of my wearing the forthem binder in a tight-ish t shirt vs a regular bra in the same t shirt:

overall, would i recommend this binder? No, it's not worth the price. These binders cost $48, I got mine for a little less because I found a coupon code but that's way too much for what you get. Considering returning it so I can use the money to buy a different binder. It's comfortable but only a little more comfortable than my gc2b binder and that one compresses way better, so I'd just recommend getting a gc2b.

(a side note: im not trans (butch lesbian), but i tagged the post as such so this review would reach people most likely to buy and wear binders so it's as helpful as possible for anyone trying to find good binder brands. just wanted to clear things up in case anyone was wondering, don't want to claim stake within a community im not technically apart of)

#Butch #Cosplay #Binders #Binder review #Trans #Nonbinary #Transmasc #Lesbian #Forthem #Binder

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glyphcxre · 1 year

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A letter to a bitter person,

Not gonna lie--- you probably wont ever read this. If you end up actually finding it congratulations i guess you did it.

I didn’t really plan on saying anything but considering the multiverse is falling apart and its the end of the world, i didn’t want to leave any feelings unsaid.

To anyone in my life past or present. Y’know just in case.

I just wanted to take the time to say i see the shit u talk. I see everything you say about me/ towards me.

You seem to have this idea that I somehow never cared about you? Or secretly hated you or something when we were friends. I just want to say for the record: I mourned our friendship for months. I was genuinely hurt and confused when i lost what I thought was my best friend.

&& maybe I shouldn’t say that because it will send you into an ego trip where you think you’re the hottest shit to walk the earth;

cus ‘ ohhh i got c.c. I hurt them! They care about me after all i win! ’.

I never said I didn’t but hold that thought homie, let me finish.

The person i was mourning wasn’t you. It was the person I built you up in my mind to be. The friend i wanted to believe you were. && The fact is you weren’t a good friend to me the last year i knew you.

A good friend doesn’t ghost spending time with you constantly.

They don’t make jokes when you’re having a ptsd induced panic attack.

A good friend doesn’t take every opportunity to talk shit and name call after the fact either.

Not to mention good friends dont try to steal their best friend’s girlfriend and destroy a relationship of 4 years.

Remember when you said you respected our friendship more than to take bee from me that you’d back off because you valued my happiness?

No? Weird. Cus I sure as hell do.

----( You didn’t by the way. Me and Bee are happy together && doing just fine. Putting a wig on ur gf and having her cosplay crapplebee isnt going to change that or suddenly make me believe i lost my girlfriend lmao. )

But hey.

Keep trying to convince me that I somehow lost the love of my life. Its funny. Embarrassing for you, but funny.

(Side note maybe u should treat your amity like a person instead of your side piece. Just a suggestion. Making her cosplay another girl youd prefer to date. Really bro? Cmon. )

(Blushy if ur reading this i hope u wake up soon.)

Anyways.

All of this to say.---- Losing you? wasn’t a loss at all.

Not by the time it happened at least.

Maybe it would be have been when our friendship was younger and you had some respect for yourself and anyone else.

The person that was my friend is gone though and all thats left is this bitter, selfish and small person who feels like she has to tear others down to prove something. But maybe you’ve always been that small person and you just played us to try and get my girl.

Who knows. I probably never will know the truth.

--Cause even if you ever find this-you might read it but you wont take the time to comprehend it. Or understand it. Youll take it as me being a ‘ bad or fake’ friend, and you’ll shout from the rooftops how you’re so superior.

Because at the end of the day, our friendship wasn’t what mattered. My words fell on deaf ears cause lets be real, what you cared about was what you could get out of it. You weren’t there to grow with me, you stifled me.

& Frankly— I outgrew you.

&& I’m better without you. Im better for it. I met more luzes because of it. I have closer bonds with everyone now. I see Eda and King more. I see willow and Gus more.

I have a true friend group now.

Lynx, Asra, Sunny, Hunter, Lucky, Bee. I wouldn’t trade them for the world. They picked me up at my darkest and showed me what friendship without stipulation and toxicity looked like. I have more people behind me now than I ever have

I no longer feel like I have to work my life around your expectations. && my life feels like its finally moving forward even with all the turmoil in the multiverse i know the people behind me really got me.

So in a way. I guess I should thank you.

So, Thank you;

Thank you for showing me the kind of person you really are- because at the end of the day, It let me start living again.

Tener la vida que te mereces amiga

#theres your reaction bro #eat up #ic drabble #cottage musings #cottage writing end of the world letters #more likely than u think #very long post

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steveharringtonirlsblog · 2 years

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A byler angst story - with some elmax at the end

summary: Mike and Will get into a fight and Will gets Vecna'd... music doesn't work this time, so Mike figures out something that could save Will.

Nancy could hear Mike and Will fighting outside her house in the cold rain

"You never understand Mike! All day everyday I feel like IM the third party! You never hang out with me any more unless your stupid girlfriend is with us!" Will yelled, almost crying

Mike started to stutter

"See! Exactly Mike! You can't even make up an excuse!"

"Will! Listen to me! Me and El... We broke up" Mike looked at Will

"Oh-h..." Will started to feel sorry for yelling at Mike

"But why do you always get angry at me, Will? Not everything is my fault! Maybe if our friendship is important to you then you should be fixing it! Mike yelled at Will, annoyed

"Are.. Are you saying you don't care about our friendship?" Will started crying

"No! Of course I do!"

"Then why don't you care about me Mike...? Why don't you hang out with me anymore...?"

"It's not my fault! T-that you don't like gir-"

"NO! DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT EXCUSE! ITS SO FUCKING DUMB! I HATE IT! I'M NOT NORMAL, MIKE! AND YOURE THE PERSON WHO MADE ME REALIZE THAT! YEAH. I DONT LIKE GIRLS! I LIKE B-BOYS!" Will started sobbing before walking away

Mike stood there, surprised, mixed with emotions

"W-Wait! W-Will come back! Please! Im sorry! Please!"

Will walked away in the cold rain

"Shit. What do I do.. Fuck."

Mike walks into his house, almost crying, slowly falling asleep on his bed

TIME SKIP!

Nancy shakes Mike to wake him up

"Mike! Come on! Will is getting Vecna'd!"

"huh...? Wait what?"

Mike runs out his room, not wanting to see Will's body crumbled

"Where's Will? WHERE IS WILL?"

"Castle Byers!" Nancy replied, panicking

Mike runs out of his house, trying to get there as soon as possible

He finally arrives there, out of breath, still panicking

"Joyce! W-whats happening..?"

"My little boy! He won't wake up! We've tried everything! All his favorite music!" Joyce said, with deep worry, voice cracking.

"You've tried everything? Shit."

Mike looked at Wills hovering body, just about 3 feet off the ground

"Well... I guess there's only one thing left to try."

Mike slowly went up to Wills body, putting his hands on his cheeks.

"Mike...? What are you doing?" El asked, slightly confused

"This." Mike kissed will on the lips, hoping it would save Will

A couple of seconds later, Will's body fell on the ground

"Will! Come on! Wake up! Please! Im sorry! I love you!" Mike shook Wills body before hearing gasping sounds coming from him.

"Will! Oh my god! You're alive!" Tears started forming from Mike's eyes, hugging Will

"M-mike..? I love you too..." Will started crying, still shocked from what just happened to him, hugging Mike close to him

"Will... I'm so sorry for what I said earlier. The truth is.. is that I've loved you since the first day we met. But given where we are.. in this town, it's hard to express that.. that you love someone when it's not considered normal. I only dated El... to hide the fact I was in love with you."

"Wait..? Mike? You never loved me?" El said, not really mad... more actually happy?

"Yeah..."

"Well, to be honest, I never liked you either... I always liked Max... I love her..."

All the sudden there's sound from coming from the bushes, and everyone turned to look at where it was coming from.

"Hi guys! I came as soon as I could... and El..? Was what you said about you being in love with me too... were you telling the truth?" Max said, worried, looking at Mike and Will

El sighed. "Y-yes."

"Wait... you aren't joking? B-because I love you too..."

El smiled brightly and ran over to Max and hugged her, slowly pulling her into a long kiss

"So... I guess we're just forgetting that I'm here." Joyce said, laughing

the end <3

#byler #byler nation #byler season 4 #elmax

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tears-of-boredom · 7 months

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you know. ultimately, i dont mind being a girl. not in the like "ive always been a girl" way, but in the "im a girl now" way. sometimes i even like it. i think the hard part for me is that i do not feel like im cisgender, and since being a girl technically makes me that, i dont like it. it feels like im losing my trans-ness. and, out of all the labels, "transgender" really expresses how i feel so well. so, anytime i try to define my gender further, i, conciously or not, limit myself. i cant even consider the possibility of me being "just" a girl, because then im not trans. and this is the annoying thing about gender. because i know that the reason i feel like im trans, is because i know that gender is not like a. it is not a rigid thing. at all. i know that my body does not have anything to do with my gender. i did not really consider my gender at all growing up, and when i did, it was because i hated that other people used it to define things about me. i never felt like a girl, or wanted to be one, but until it started to matter to other people, i did not care about that. basically im saying that i did not have a gender growing up. and now that im starting to feel like theres something there, whatever it is, its different.

like. i feel like instead of "cisgender" meaning that you identify with your agab, its when you identify with the gender you grew up with. not what other people thought you were, but what you felt like.

im not trying to like, invaliate other peoples identities. im just describing how i myself understand gender.

so in my head, i would only be cisgender, if i continued to feel like i do not have a gender.

but, from where once was nothing, has now suddenly sprouted the desire to be a girl.

i used to really want to be a boy at some point, but those feelings were only because i felt like life would be easier that way. i felt like somehow being considered a boy would suddenly give me friends. and i thought that i could have stayed young and free of worry for longer. some of my problems would have been gone if i grew up as a boy, and that was literally the whole reason i wanted to be one. i was becoming more and more aware of how i did not feel like i belonged, and i thought that if i wouldve been a boy, everything would be fixed. and, in a way, i still think that. i think a different life wouldve served me better. but whether that life wouldve been as a boy or not does not matter.

i had a phase where i was really confused about my identity as a whole, and i kept trying to find something to explain everything. trans man, trans masc, nonbinary,asexual, aromantic, lesbian, gay, queer, demigirl, agender. i tried so many labels in an attempt to find myself. but thats all it was. trying to find myself. never did i find a label that satisfied me, because i just did not feel like i belonged. but ive started to suspect that that was because i was constantly dissociating as a coping mechanism. you know how it is.

but this was a long way of saying that ive started to notice how i genuinely want to be a girl. and i also want to keep calling myself trans. and im not going to try and specify it further for myself, because that never works and only makes me feel insecure in my identity. im trans and a girl. sometimes. i actually really hate the sound of the word "girl" if i hear it too much, so im gonna stop calling myself that. though that is what i am. hating how a word sounds does not change that.

and its quite funny how like, i need to justify it and explain it to myself this much to feel comfortable. because if it was literally anyone else id just say "yeah who cares, if you wanna call yourself trans, do it". but because of my fucking messed up psyche, im not able to let myself be so lax about things.. aughh

#gender #tearful stuff

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whyyoualwayssoradical · 7 months

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this is quite confusing to understand how decisions were arrived at for this. ugh. entire things seems like one huge mess that was or could have been taken advantage of given the situations and likely was cus world powers do that usually.

i dont have an answer for if the state of israel should exist or not. i think anyone from the abrahamic religions should be able to visit jerusalem and it should be safe for them to do so provided they are respectful to others, but outside of that i dont know enough and its not really my place to say more than that.

who even gets to decide? who is "right"? what should any claims be based on? i dont know, i dont have the answers, i just want innocent people to stop dying. so many suffer over the decisions of a few.

currently israel operates as a US backed and armed state and is inherently antagonistic to arab nations in the area due to that. so obviously the arab nations dont want a little proxy america with insane US military budget to back it up. logically that makes total sense. i dont know much beyomd that about how arab nations may or may not think or feel about it, im just a white american trying to understand and learn.

ultra conservative zionists hate anyone that isnt them and consider anyone not them to be gods and by proxy israels enemies. they would love nothing more than to rain down fire and brimstone like their god told them to, they have the samson directive and hannibal directive for a reason. they believe you should be ready to die at anytime to join god so thats why they sacrifice their own to "destroy gods enemies". this is also what i was raised to believe but i do not believe in such insanity.

this is just me asking questions and trying to find answers based in fact.

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caught-the-lovebug · 10 months

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hi!

so I have this really really weird situation with my sort-of crush right now.

We both know each other for around a 3 months or so, and i feel we're pretty close friends but im not sure he feels we're THAT close yet, but we still talk sort of often.

we were pretty good friends, and we'd constantly roast each other, make fun... very play-fight type of friends.

so, i honestly just thought of him as a friend for quite a while, but there was this contantly lingering but unidentifiable feeling everytime i'd talk with him. I just brushed it off, because - well, I don't trust chemical reactions.

but then this one day i just realized that - i feel some sort of affection for him. whenever he smiled, laughed at my jokes, responded wittily, made eye contact with me, I'd feel so happy and feel the need to squish his face (haha im so cringey T_T)

and then i was like "okay, this is some kind of romantic affection, definitely" which was weird for me, because I'm ace and I've only ever had one other crush in my entire lifetime, and that was feeling was veeryy different. this was smthing weird, like - i just wanted to protect him at all costs, yknow? that kinda thing, but it wasnt very sibling-y either.

i told a few of my friends abt this while the crush grew, and i tried to interact more, but then this one day I tried talking with him and i figured that someone who knew told him that I liked him and after that, he started acting really distant with me, which I hated, because even if I did like him, I considered him to be a great friend, and I didn't want to lose that friendship. We texted fine, but irl, we barely spoke.

later on, i learnt that he likes another girl and doesn't like me romantically, but doesnt mind being friends with me. After that, I found the whole process of "making him like me" so tiring and gave up on my crush, which was surprisingly exhilarating.

currently, I've convinced him I just want to be friends and I did that to myself as well so now I don't feel any pressure or anxiety when talking with him and I just act as myself (which is so relaxing compared to when I was constantly overthinking everything i did around him). I like the relationship we have as friends but I do still sometimes wish for more.

I like not crushing on him consciously because i can be myself, but at the same time, i catch myself thinking about him or just giggling over how adorable he is or glancing at him whenever I see him.

I'm a little confused as to what we are right now, and more importantly what I'm feeling for him, and idk if maybe I might have a chance with him in the future? should I still make tiny attempts of flirting or trying to impress him or should I just let it be and go on its own course?

(i dont even know what point I'm trying to make here - I just needed to vent T_T)

Just needing to vent is so valid.

I'll attempt to answer your questions still but if the vent is all you needed, then feel free to ignore me lol

It seems to me that you are friends. That doesn't change if someone is crushing on the other. Friendship is separate to romance, they exist side by side. You are friends and you have romantic feelings for him. That's okay.

Getting caught up in what feelings mean and what words to use, I often find isn't helpful. I had a crush on my best friend for four years. It didn't stop us being friends but our friendship felt closer and different to others I'd experienced. When I would get frustrated trying to label how it was more than just best friends but not dating because he didn't feel romantically back, it felt awful. The reality is, words are flawed. Capturing our entire complex history and my emotions for him in one word wasn't going to be possible.

And this can be true for newer crushes on friends too.

In regards to a chance in the future, you might! But equally, you might not. It's okay to have your feelings and not force them away if you don't want to. In my experience, crushes on friends are difficult to force away. But I would let it fade when it does. Clearly, he doesn't want to lead you on, so holding onto hope isn't going to help your friendship.

And on that same topic, I don't think you should try attempts at flirting. You've both decided to be friends and not pursue romance with each other right now, I wouldn't push that.

In saying that, having a crush can be fun and exciting, and you're allowed to exist in those feelings and enjoy them. If you don't like them, that's valid too! But you don't have to be ashamed of them and you don't have to force them away if you don't want to.

I hope this helps!

#crush #fox gives advice #anon ask #ace

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