#i deserve to suffer | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

grungasgirlexistence · 17 days

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Who fucking cares about my life anymore because I sure don’t. I could throw it all away right now and I’d be happy that I finally ruined it all. I should get lost in the woods and never return. I’m so fucking stupid.

TW

#fucking hate myself #tw depressing thoughts #sorry for being depressing #i deserve to suffer #mentally exhausted #self h@rm #cvtaddict #depressing life

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theend-isnear · 1 year

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I think tonight may be a good night to end it.

I’ve been balancing for a while trying not to fall,

Tonight I’m somewhere that I feel invisible,

And I’m a 5 minute walk from the train tracks.

And I have my notes with me.

Yeah, I think tonight is a good night to end it.

#depressing shit #living with bpd #i want to kms #quiet bpd #i can’t do this #depressing post #suicice #i want to disappear #i want to end it all #suicudal #actually mentally ill #please hurt me #please end my life #i want to d1e #i deserve to suffer #no one likes me #i need to die

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random-blog-of-a-nobody · 2 years

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Thought I was getting better, but I’m still falling down the rabbit hole of my mind

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strxwberrystxr · 1 year

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#i wanna be thinner #i deserve to die #i deserve to be alone #i deserve to suffer #i deserve to bleed #self h@te #s3lfh4rm #s3lf hate

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lonelywithdreams · 1 year

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The mood dropped immediately when I saw the grade

I failed...again

No matter how much I try, I can't do anything right

Actually I stopped trying because it will be the same

I stopped trying

And I thought I stopped caring but I was wrong

I'm lying in my bed, crying my eyes out

I'm worthless

Useless

Stupid

I deserve to die

I have to die

I want to die

#mental health #trauma #tw selfhate #i am a bad friend #die #dead #i will never be #i wanna die #i want to be dead #i deserve to die #i deserve to suffer

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iwlhfti · 2 years

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i‘ll always be enough to fuck but never enough to love.

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lxst-in-thxxghts · 2 years

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God I need to keep my fucking mouth shut. I’m so greedy and disgusting I don’t even deserve to shed a tear over how disgusting I am. I deserve all the punishment in the world.

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hotter-than-hellx · 2 years

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i just want to run away from my entire life

#tw depressing thoughts #i want to die #i cant cut myself #so im talking here #i wanna disappear so bad #i deserve to suffer

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elliesbelle · 3 months

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emily gwen, the creator of the sunset lesbian flag that we’ve come to commonly use, still continues to live in poverty.

multi-billion dollar companies have used their design and made profit from it, and yet they have not seen a cent for their creation.

i’ve been friends with emily for years, and i have not once seen them be financially stable the entire time. i’ve seen them homeless, unemployed, starving. right now, they need our help more than ever.

please consider donating to emily’s ko-fi, especially if you’ve used their design to create something and profited from it.

#emily’s finally found housing after couch surfing at friends’ places for months #they’ve got a lot of debt rn on top of bills and rent #rn they don’t have food in the house and they’re starving #they don’t deserve this at all they are so kind and i literally hate to see them suffering #please please pleaaase donate and reblog #they don’t ask for much but they deserve the world #mutual aid #crowdfunding #donation post #belle speaks

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grungasgirlexistence · 8 days

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Nothing is fun anymore. I don’t want to do anything.

#I need to rot #girl rotting #i deserve to suffer #sorry for being depressing #fucking hate myself #tw depressing thoughts #mentally exhausted

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inkskinned · 1 year

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the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.

capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.

now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.

and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.

and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.

and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".

it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"

#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility #but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion #that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone #i am an environmental educator #so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering #that people are going through #without doing my research and providing real ways to help #this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning #to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering #unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this #and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this #and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity #(complaining)#and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself #for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion #i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out #rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually.#my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free #is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY.#anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i #which is more than their CEOs can say

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random-blog-of-a-nobody · 2 years

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I blame myself for everything, for their deaths and the people in my life being hurt…

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comradekatara · 5 months

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2 kinds of grad students (both massive nerds)

#id in alt text #avatar the last airbender #atla #sokka #zuko #zukka #<- seems like i may as well tag it. considering #sokkaxzuko #(secretly this is sokkaxsuki tho. just look at sokka’s hoodie)#modern au #art #mart #if you’re wondering why there’s only one pile of graded papers it’s because sokka saved that paper for last #bc the handwriting was so illegible #(and zuko is responding even tho sokka isn’t talking abt his work bc he’s touchy. bc he knows he isn’t ocean vuong)#also before anyone’s like ‘shouldn’t sokka be the one writing poetry?’ YES sokka also writes poetry but it’s like.#silly little rhyming poems #he would never do an mfa art is a hobby to him and he thinks getting a degree in it is a waste of time #but he doesn’t tell this to zuko bc zuko wasted so much time suffering in undergrad trying to pursue a ‘respectable’ degree #so sokka’s just like ‘okay. well he deserves this’

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lonelywithdreams · 2 years

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⚠️Tw suicide/selfharm mention/vent⚠️

I am thinking about suicide again

I wanna die because.....

Why I wanna die ?

Maybe just because....

Maybe because I am useless

Maybe because I am not worthy

Maybe because I am not enough

Because I am nothing

Because I don't deserve to live....

I don't deserve to be loved, to love, to exist....

I am nothing and no one ever would love someone like me so why live if anyways I end up dead...

Why live if anyways I be annoying, useless, not worthy, not enough....

No one cares if I am alive or dead ....

No one cares if my arms are covered in cuts and scars....

As long as I have good grades

As long as people see me as a kind, good and clever person ....

No one cares and no one will .....

If so then why live ?

Why suffer so much when you can die

Why be alive and be called a problem

I don't want to live

I don't want to be alive

I want to die

To disappear and never come back

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its-elioo · 3 months

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I CAVED IN 🗣️

Never expected to make a Poppy Playtime OC but here we are! This is Celine, Ci for short! Prefers to express her emotions through actions, too tired to give a damn, very caring (literary the mom friend)

I call this the uhh... "Operation: Staying Alive" AU??

Basically, Ci adopts three living toys and officially becomes a parent :>

Screw the cannon, Dogday joins the girl squad! He is safe and all patched up 👏🏻

Their relationships are purely platonic so please no shipping.

Bonus:

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hilacopter · 2 months

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conflating diaspora jews with the actions of the israeli government is not okay, yes, but have you considered it's not okay to conflate israeli jews with them either

#listen. no hate to diaspora jews. y'all are suffering unimaginable antisemitism rn.#but as an israeli it makes me so mad how they're always the only ones leftists care about when it comes to antisemitism if even #“nooo guys we can't be mean to diaspora jews because of isnotreal it's antisemitic and wrong!”#“israelis? now those are completely fine to harass and wish death upon <3”#people just straight up don't see us as humans deserving of basic decency i think #when they at very least pretend to or believe they like diaspora jews #leftist antisemitism #antisemitism #israel #jumblr

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