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luvonmes-blog · 5 months

Text

Guilty

Y/N and Suguru were damn near polar opposites of each other. Y/N, a girl who wore her heart on her sleeve and gave and gave until she couldn't anymore. Suguru, a cocky dickhead who was spoon-fed opportunities and was given everything he ever wanted. how could the two ever make anything work?

Warnings - 18+ MDNI!! enemies to lovers! hockey player!geto, ice skater!reader, tatted!geto, pierced!geto, he gets bitched, getos a whiny little boy, smut, rough sex, sappy sex, daddy kink, breeding kink towards the end, some spit, sex in a public place, at some point Satoru walks in, Y/N kinda cries a lot (self-projection is real). i think theres more? lmk if i missed anything! w.c - 18.5k, not proof read. Song - Guilty By: TAEMIN

PSA - please do not compare this to Icebreaker. ik because of ice skating and the release of this book it’s the first thing you think of but, number one, that book sucks. number two, the book is supposed to have elements and revolve around muslim culture, the author obviously did not do enough research on what it is to be muslim and i hate it. number three, i actually spent time researching and even had someone help me make sure this was the best i can possibly make it, i’d like if my work was appreciated for being my work instead of it being appreciated because it reminds you of smt else. thank you!

all in all, DO NOT COMPARE THIS TO ICEBREAKER.

very special shout out to @r0ses4ndlilies for helping me use the proper ice skating terms!!!

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to say Suguru Geto was meant to be something - someone - important was as if to say the sun was meant to shine. obvious.

from a young age Suguru knew he was special, gifted in academics and sports, the only person to rival him - his own best friend, Satoru. the boys were their hometowns' prized possessions. their families bragged about them, boys wanted to be them, girls fawned after them. being in their presence meant there was never a dry day but as they grew older, they grew more focused. straying away from others to pursue their dream careers. the dream was finally reached in their college years, being accepted into the prestigious university, Tokyo Metropolitan Technical College. as soon as they graduated high school they were offered full rides to the school, as long as they played on the hockey team.

they took the offer without hesitation, going to one of the highest ranked schools and getting to play the sport of their dreams? easy yes. that was almost four years ago, the boys are in their last year of college, still playing for the hockey team, almost ready to graduate. the team was the best it had been in years, only three losses since Suguru and Satoru joined the team. not only were they the best on the team but the most popular in their frat as well - Sigma Beta Chi, courtesy of Satoru dragging Sugura to join along with him.

then there was you.

to say you had busted your ass to get where you were today would be an understatement. you poured your blood sweat and tears to get to the spot you’re in, captain of the TMTC ice skating team. as a child you’d always dreamed of becoming a figure skater. a video you had seen sparked your interest and since then you’d never let it go. it was hard, growing up your grandfather had tried his best to support you, going out of his way to pay for your skating lessons and even putting you into an after school program. he never told you of his financial struggles, he didn’t want you to give up on your dream but when you found out, you vowed to pay him back any way you could. you made sure your grades in school couldn’t be challenged, you took on many temp jobs, making money any way you could, while balancing the energy-draining skate practices you went to at night.

in your third year both upper and lower-classmen voted you as captain for the school's team and you were over the moon. you immediately called your grandfather to tell him the great news and he was just as happy as you, forever and always your number one supporter. since you became captain you’ve pushed yourself to and over your limit, challenging yourself in any way possible to make sure you were always at your best. many late nights were spent at the rink until your legs hurt so much you weren’t sure you’d be able to walk back to your dorm. you made sure the team was as best as they possibly could be, some members thought you were a bit harsh but never challenged you. after all, you had won them gold three times in a row for the first time in years.

the only conflict you had ever had in your four years of being a student at TMTC was with the hockey team. ironic seeing as your sports were the most similar of any other sport on campus but the rumor of all hockey players seemed true, they were dicks. especially the co-captains Suguru and Satoru. they didn’t seem to take your sport seriously, always taunting you whenever they’d see you. snide comments about your figure when they’d see you at practice or remarks about the uniforms you and the team wore. you wouldn’t go as far as to say you hate them (that’s just not you) but you weren’t particularly fond of them. they constantly got on your nerves, their deep boisterous laughs making your eye twitch whenever you heard them.

they ground your gears so much you just tried your best to avoid them. it wasn’t that hard seeing as you all lived on opposite sides of campus and in the two classes you had with Suguru, you sat closest to the wall while he sat dead center with his loud friends. Suguru was smart, extraordinarily so, which is exactly why you didn’t understand why he was such an asshole. you truly believed you two could be great friends but he was so rude it turned you away almost immediately. you never understood why he was so mean to you. the first time you had met you were all smiles and kind waves, you went to introduce yourself to him and he shot you down.

the coaches of both teams had called a meeting for all new team members. it was a run down of the rules and regulations, anti-harassment, anti-bullying, non-discrimination. so much that has done for you. after the meeting was over the coaches gave you the choices of either leaving or the opportunity to mingle. you took the chance to mingle, forever a social butterfly, going up to many different people. some of the girls from your team were a little hostile but open to talking, the hockey boys well… if they didn’t try to hit on you they mostly seemed uninterested in the conversation. making your rounds you finally ended up in front of Suguru and Satoru. Satoru had looked you up and down before walking away, hadn’t even given you the time. holding your hand out for Suguru to shake, you smiled at him.

“hi, i’m Y/N.” he stared at you before mumbling under his breath. you thought he was going to say something to you but Satoru had called after him, saying something about pizza. Suguru placed the cup he was drinking out of in your hand and walked over to his best friend. “o-oh…” he looked back at you, your face stuck with your mouth open and eyes wide, shocked. a couple of times after you tried to approach him, trying your best to give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe he’s not so mean. time and time again he proved you wrong. you would bring in gifts for the team, snacks for practice, water, anything they’d need. everyone was always so grateful, Satoru had even said thank you maybe a handful of times. Suguru had never even muttered anything.

you kept trying, ever the people pleaser, finding different ways to appease him, if you noticed he seemed to enjoy something more than another you would bring it in more. you would try to catch up to him after practice, spark up a conversation, he never seemed to care enough. you couldn’t understand why you were so obsessed with making him like you. maybe it was because growing up you always made sure everyone liked you, never leaving the house with a hair out place, always bending over backwards to make sure everyone was at least content with you. maybe it was because you couldn’t function if you felt like there was any sort of scrutiny upon your character. maybe you were so obsessed with making him like you because you had a little crush- no, no way. you kept up, trying so hard to get on his good side. it took up until one night, one night and the fixation fell. you were walking out after a long day of practice, he was in front of you, looking down on his phone.

“hey!” you yelled after him, starting in a little jog to catch up to him. he stopped for a second as you stepped next to him. “hi.” you were panting a little bit, breaths coming out in clouds due to the cold air. the snow that was falling landed in your eyelashes, you were smiling at him, so bright and wide, you looked so cute. cuter than anyone Suguru has seen before. “um, i saw a spin you did back there when you were practicing. i was wondering if maybe you could show it to me. i’ve seen some other skaters on your team do it before too, it’s really cool and i was hoping i could take it back to my team and show them.” you looked up at him, hopeful.

“yeah, no.”

“oh. please? i’d really appreciate it.” you flashed him with that bright smile of yours. he was tempted to say yes, so tempted. if he did teach you maybe he could make you smile more. smile at him.

“i said no.” you pouted, he was walking away before he turned back around to face you. your face lit back up, eyes sparkling, maybe he changed his mind? “and leave me alone, i notice the weird shit you do to get my attention. it’s annoying, stop.” your face dropped. he turned his back towards you again. after that day you did exactly what he said, left him alone. from that day on you’d begun avoiding him.

you’d done a great job at it too, for years you stayed out his way… until today.

it was another late night at the rink. wednesdays the rinks were always empty for mandatory deep cleaning, the captains would usually ask the manager of the building if they could borrow it on these nights to practice by themselves. there was a deal that the captains of the separate teams could have the rink every-other wednesday, tonight was your night. you were on your way into the rink, texting your friend Bri, she was telling you about how Satoru was staring at her from across the lecture hall. she was obsessed, it was odd seeing as you told her how much he got on your nerves and how he teased you in public. she didn’t seem to care too much.

as you were heading to the locker room you heard clinking coming from the ice, you had assumed it was the cleaning crew, they’d usually be finishing up right about now. lacing up your skates you finally put your phone down, over Bri’s delusions, you were too afraid to cut her off as a friend, scared of the potential consequences. walking to the rink, your guards scuffing against the floor as you dragged your feet, already feeling the pain in your legs. you were just about to sit down and take your guards off before you saw him. the infamous number two on his jersey moving against his body as he moved the hockey puck around with his customized stick.

“hey!” you yelled out through the windows separating the bleachers and the rink. “what are you doing?” he stopped just as he was about to hit the puck into the makeshift goal he mapped out in the corner. turning around to look at you with low eyes.

“what does it look like i’m doing?” he answered back, snarkily.

“it looks like you’re taking up my time.” you were annoyed, he knows this is your time, you’d even specified yesterday. talking just loudly enough for the hockey team to hear from across the rink, you knew they were listening in, they always do.

“your time?” he scoffed.

“yeah, my time.” you rolled your eyes. “listen, i don’t know how long you’ve been here but it’s long enough. i really don’t want to be mean or make this bigger than it is but i really need to practice. i’d really appreciate it if you left.” you gave him the kindest smile you could then sat down to take the guards off your skates.

“alright, princess, i was here first. that means i get the rink.” his arms were out at his side, gesturing to the rink. you shot back up quickly.

“no!” you exclaimed. “this is my night. you being here first doesn’t mean anything. and i told you to stop calling me that.” princess. the stupid nickname he had given you two years ago. you were leaving the rink after a meeting between the two teams, him and Satoru trailing behind laughing and giggling to each other. he’d tried calling after you, yelling your name a couple of times, you had ignored him, not wanting to deal with their antics. he yelled after you once more before the godforsaken nick-name fell from his lips. you stopped immediately, turning on your heels before telling him to not call you that. after that he made it a point to call you it whenever he could.

“first come first serve, princess.” your eye twitched.

“Geto-”

“what’s up with the formalities? can’t call me by my name?” he raised an eyebrow at you.

“can you just leave?”

“i already told you-”

“i know what you told me and i’m telling you, it’s my night here and i’d like to practice now.” your tone was stern.

“no.” he stated simply. you guffawed.

“no?”

“no.” you took a deep breath before turning away.

“y’know what, nevermind.” beginning to walk away you heard the sound of his skates against the ice.

“you giving up that easily princess!?” he yelled after you. you turned back around to find him at the door of the rink, coming towards you.

“can you just not? i’m not in the mood for this today.” turning back around and trudging to the locker room. he caught up to you quickly - the advantage of having long legs - grabbing your arm. you pulled away immediately, walking away faster. at that he put out his stick, knocking it against the blade of your right skate, harder than he intended. you hit the ground before you could try to catch yourself. your knees took the brunt of the fall as well as your palms. turning over to sit down you felt a sharp pain in your ankle. as you lifted to assess it you heard a snap, yout foot fell ungracefully. looking down, a piece of the blade of your skate lay next to your shoe.

“shit.” Suguru muttered under his breath. “i- i’m sorry.” you wouldn’t look up at him, staring at your broken skate. he heard your shuddering breath before he saw a tear fall and soak into your stockings. “um- here, let me-”

“asshole.” he reached to help you up but you pulled away. unlacing your other skate and ripping it off, you shot up, grabbing your skates along with the broken blade, stumbling before quickly limping away. “you’re such a fucking asshole.” sniffling and wiping your face, you headed to the locker room. he followed after. “just go away.”

“stop being such a bitch and let me help you.” you stopped and whipped around to face him.

“i’m being bitch?” you questioned exasperatedly. “you broke my fucking skate and i’m being a bitch?!” he had never heard you speak so crudely. you’ve called him an asshole on multiple occasions, him and Satoru but he’d never heard you say fuck. it’s like you refused. “look at what you did! you’ve been torturing me since junior year and i’m the fucking bitch! do you know how much these cost?! how much new ones will cost?!” you were damn near hyperventilating, pacing back and forth.

“i’ll get you a new pair.” you scoffed and put your hands on your hips, facing the wall, the shoes in each one of your hands.

“you'll get me a new pair. you’ll get me a new pair?! do you even know where these came from?!” you were in distress, overwhelmed, Suguru seemed to have that effect on you. “you can’t just get me a new pair, Geto. i can’t believe you.” your voice broke. “i- i always knew you were a dick but i really didn’t you’d go so far to break my skates.”

“it’s really not that big of a deal.” he rolled his eyes.

“not a big deal?” you finally turned to face him, the look on your face did something to him, it actually made him feel… bad. “they were from my grandfather, he made them for me in junior year and the guy who made them closed shop the next year. you can’t get another pair.” shit. shit. he fucked up, bad. he was in too deep now, if he owned up to it now then that would means he’s wrong and Suguru Geto he never been wrong. well, not if you ever asked him.

“this wouldn’t have happened if you had just left.”

“it’s my night Geto, you knew that!”

“yeah well i needed the practice.”

“what the fuck did you think i needed?”

“come on, we both know which one of us is more important here.” you were pissing him off, he was deflecting.

“you can’t be serious.”

“i am. nobody takes you fucking serious, nobody cares about watching you parade around on the rink in your small little fucking skirts.” you looked up to the ceiling and nodded your head.

“right.” you turned away from him. “you’re right.” you walked away, he heard you go into the locker room and he went back to the ice. eventually he heard the front doors open and close.

----------------

for the next three weeks he had not seen you come into your wednesday practices. he purposely came to the ones he knew you would be at but you had never showed up. he would wait until closing time, staying until the custodial staff would kick him out, you never appeared. he noticed you were in and out of your classes as well. you had the same classes together everyday, civics and economics, some days you would be there but have your head down and constantly checked your phone. other days you weren’t there at all. he had asked your professors if he could have your papers, to make sure you were getting them but each of them had replied that you didn’t need them, you were all caught up.

you didn’t come to your teams practices either, luckily you had always taught them the drills you came up with way beforehand. if Suguru had ever cared to look deeper into who you are (which he’d never admit that he did) he would maybe, possibly, just maybe own up to the fact that he might admire the way you carried yourself. you’re a great captain, an amazing skater, and an even better student. you’re just up there with him and Satoru. he’ll never tell you that though. he oftentimes wondered what you thought about him. did you think he was smart? a good skater? do you think he’s attractive? he wants to know if you think of him the way he thinks of you. he’ll never ask.

eventually you came back. two more weeks of not being there, then, he saw you again. you were in class, back at practice, running drills and laughing with your friends. but he noticed something different, you were more reserved, if you weren’t with your friends you weren’t with anyone at all. your smile didn’t reach your eyes like it usually did. after practice you left immediately, not waiting for everyone to leave like you usually did. you were out of the door before anybody could say bye. you weren’t you. Suguru looked after you, even if you weren’t aware, he did. he made sure when him and Satoru picked on you they never went too far. when he heard other guys on the team talk about you, he shut it down almost immediately. Suguru cared, he’d never outright show it or tell you but he did.

even now that you’re back you still weren’t coming to your wednesday practices. at some point he stopped going for “practice” and would wait for you to walk through the doors. you never did. he got around to asking one of your teammates, Yari, where you had been. she told him you found a new rink, a better one. apparently you knew the manager well and he would give you the space for two nights a week. she had said you lucked out, the rink was spacious and had more to offer. Suguru thanked Yari by finger-fucking her in the back office. she walked out dazed with a blissed out smile on her face while he sat… disgusted. he didn’t even like her. he didn’t like a lot of the girls he slept with, he just did. building up a reputation of one of the best fucks on campus, besides Satoru of course.

he’s always wanted one girl. he’s always wanted you but you’ve never paid him any mind. around campus he’s heard about you, the boyfriend you had in junior year, how much he hurt you and how you swore off relationships after. choosing to focus on school like you had promised yourself you would once entering the university. Suguru had a girlfriend, plenty of them. they never lasted, he couldn’t stay tied down to one girl. eyes always wandering. he broke up with them before it got too serious. he liked them enough to get with them just… not enough to stay.

walking into class you were heading to, looking at your phone checking your grandfather's location to make sure he was home like you told him to be. stopping in your tracks when you came across big black combat boots. looking up he had an all black outfit to match, like usual. his hair was down in a low bun, some strands framing his face. rolling your eyes and breathing out a sigh as you looked at him.

“what do you want?” sitting up in his - your - seat he sat down his pencil on the desk.

“you weren’t here.” he shrugged.

“so you took my seat?” he could see the annoyance bleeding onto your face.

“it’s not like you were here to stop me.” you just looked at him like he was stupid.

“fine.” moving away and three rows behind him, you plopped down into a random desk. he grabbed all his stuff and took up the desk next to you. you looked at him before looking away and to the window. your leg started bouncing up and down. “you just don’t give up do you?”

“give up what?”

“what do you want, Geto?” you turned towards him. “what do you want? you want me to cry again? you want me to grovel?”

“no. i just-”

“then what?”

“i was gonna say sorry but never-fucking-mind.”

“you were gonna say sorry?” you laughed in his face. “that’s a good joke, Geto.” for some reason that got on his nerves.

“what? i can’t apologize?”

“it’s not that you can’t. you don’t.” you’re right. “i don’t care anyway. so even if you do, it doesn’t matter.” he didn’t know what to say so for the rest of class he sat in silence. when the bell rang you packed your things up and left quickly. it was the last class of the day and he watched the direction you went in, he knew where you were headed so he followed. when you walked into the rink it was completely empty. you stopped in your tracks.

“all practices were canceled today.”

“you’re telling me now?”

“you didn’t get the email?”

“obviously not, Geto.” turning to leave you push past him but he grabs your arm. looking up into those brown eyes of his you try to pull away but he grips harder. “can you let go now?”

“why do you act like that?” you look at him confused.

“act like what.”

“like you hate me.”

“maybe cause i do.” you rip away from him, heading to the doors. he quickly catches up and blocks you from leaving. you let out a huff and try to push past him. “move.”

“you don’t hate me.”

“why wouldn’t i?” you look up at him. “hm? you make fun of my uniforms. you always say my drills suck. you and Satoru make fun of my team and my sport. you comment on the way i skate. hell, you broke my skates. skates i can’t get back. so why wouldn’t i?”

“hate isn’t in your vocabulary.” he states, simply. he’s right, it’s not but would you let him know that?

“yeah? how would you know?” he stared at you, questioning whether you did hate him or not. you were right, how would he know? pulling away from him you turn towards the locker rooms, if practice was canceled here today you would go somewhere else. he watched you for a second, contemplating leaving before he followed after you quickly. grabbing your things from your locker you watched him walk into the women’s locker room. “you’re not supposed to be in here-” he rushed over to you and before you could finish your sentence, his lips covered yours. his kiss was rough, lips moving over yours hurriedly, teeth gnawing at your bottom lip. your arms stayed at your side and your eyes were wide. you pushed him away, making space between your bodies. “what is wrong with you?” you were panting, chest rising and falling quickly.

he moved in again, lips back on yours, this time you didn’t pull away. your bag fell off your shoulders and your new skates fell to the ground. your lips met his harshly, your fingers tangling in his hair. you pulled him down towards you, hunching him over. his hands slid around your waist to grip onto your shirt. he pushed you back into the lockers, the metal clanging as your body met them, he quickly spun you around, your torso pressing into the metal. he sucked on your ear and trailed wet kisses down your neck, the metal ball of his tongue piercing trailing down your skin. he panted into your skin as he ground his hardening cock on your ass.

“if you’re gonna fuck me Geto, get it over with.” you breathed. his hand wrapped around your neck, arching your back and resting your head against his shoulder.

“is that how you should talk to me? i’ll leave you right here.”

“your loss.” you shrugged, pushing him away to grab your things. before you could stray too far he pushed you back against the lockers. he made quick work of unbuttoning his pants and tugging them down just below his dick then, he pulled down your sweatpants, they pooled around your ankles. he ground his cock into your backside and groaned into your neck. his precum dripped on your back as he humped your ass. “hurry up.” you grumbled. sliding his tip through your folds, he pressed into your hole, sliding in only the tip before slipping back out. he did this over and over again until you were huffing in annoyance.

behind you, his face was beet red. he was panting, teasing you and himself in hopes of dragging this out for as long as he possibly could. finally over it, you stamped your foot down, ready to completely push him off of you. he didn’t give you the chance, stuffing his cock all the way into you at once, shuffling forward to press his entire body into yours. you yelped out as his entire length throbbed in you, shaping your ways to accommodate for every ridge and vein. he’s the biggest you’ve ever taken, so thick you’re sure your walls are stretched to the fullest and so long you could feel him in your throat.

“oh, fuck.” he moaned behind you. his heart was pounding in over-exertion. he was focusing so hard on trying not to cum so soon. he gave you time to adjust and time for himself to calm down before he busted before he even started. he groaned into your neck as you clenched around him, trying to get used to his girth.

“fuck, move.”

“you sure?”

“please, come on, just move Geto.” he nodded his head. giving one exploratory thrust, trying to gauge how you feel, how he'd feel. he moaned as his cock moved in and out of you. he could already feel the coil winding up within his lower stomach, he wasn’t gonna last. he thrust again, a whimper escaping his lips. your eyebrows raised at the noise. he whimpered. he started to develop a rhythm, hips moving languidly against yours. his hands moved up your body, gripping your boobs through your shirt, you’re not wearing a bra. he pinched your nipples through your shirt and a noise escaped your lips. the prettiest moan fell from your lips.

he angled his hips differently and he hit that certain spot in you just right. a louder moan exited your mouth and he whimpered at it. your moans are so pretty, so pretty they made his dick throb. little “ah, ah, ah’s” left your lips at each thrust, everything about him took over your entire being. all you could feel was his hands on your body, all you could smell was his cedarwood and vanilla cologne. you were drowning in him, every sense revolved around him. Suguru couldn’t feel anything else besides your tight walls gripping him. you were so tight around him his eyes rolled back. he’d never been so vocal before, let alone whined to a girl he was fucking.

you brought something in him, something he didn’t know existed. a need. a need for him to express how good you’re making him feel. “faster.” he shook his head against your shoulder. “come on, Geto, faster.”

“i can’t, fuck,” he whined. “i’ll cum, i’ll fucking cum and it’ll all be over.”

“already?” you moaned out a scoff. “i’m not even close, Geto.” he thrust into you faster. his length continuously brushing over you g-spot. one hand that was gripping your boob moved down to rub circles over your clit. his fingers were nimble and quick but messy. the circles are uncoordinated but good enough to make your thighs shake. you're so wet it's dripping down your thighs and getting on his, his hand is soaked now.

“stop calling me that.” he whined. “say my name.”

“that is your name-”

“no. my name please.” he sounded so pretty whining for you.

“Suguru.” he moaned. “i’m gonna cum, Suguru.” you were the one whining now.

“please.” he rubbed your clit faster, hurriedly thrusting into you. you met him thrust for thrust, moving with him. “fuck, just like that, princess.” the claps of skin on skin could be heard throughout the locker room. you pray to whatever God out there that no one is here. “i’m gonna cum, i need you to first.” he licked a stripe up your neck, leading to your ear before he bit at your lobe. his nose pressed into your ear and he panted into your skin, harsh breaths against you. all the stimulation was getting to you, his fingers rubbing at your clit, his other hand grabbing your boob, his mouth breathing heavily against you and biting at you. the final straw was when he moved his hand from your chest to your neck, squeezing slightly, just enough to make your breathing labored and make you dizzy. your head fell to his shoulder and you dear damn screamed out as you came.

your thighs shook violently as you creamed around Suguru. the essence of your orgasm dripping down his cock. his mouth dropped open as he felt you clench and unclench around him. he moaned out as he felt his own orgasm creeping up on him. “pull out.” you whimpered. “Suguru, pull out.” he didn’t want to, God, he didn’t want to. finally building up enough strength, he pulled out. his hand wrapped around his tip, jerking his cock quickly, your wetness helping his hand glide smoothly up and down his skin. the first spurt of his cum landed on your back, the warm fluid dripped down your back. the rest came and he moaned with each one. his chest heaved as he came, possibly the hardest he has since his first time, maybe better than that. there was so much of it too, long thick strings painted on your back. he removed his grip from his dick and ran his thumb through the small puddle on your back, smearing it across your skin.

“that was…” he huffed out a breath, smiling up at the roof.

“yeah, let’s not talk about it.” you were quick to pull up your pants.

“what?” Suguru followed after, pulling up his pants, buttoning them, and buckling his belt. “i thought- i thought it was good. you thought it was good right?” you gathered all your things and headed to the door.

“it was fine.”

“just fine?” you were rushing to the front door. “come on, it was more than just fine. Y/N, look at me.” you kept going, not sparing him a glance. “come on.” he reached out for you, grabbing your shoulder and turning you to him. “look at me.”

“for what?!” you yelled at him. “for what? it happened. you can go brag about it.”

“you think i’m gonna brag about it?”

“that’s what you do, Geto. you fuck some girl and go tell the team about it or some boy in your frat. next thing you know the whole school knows about it and that girls just some whore. i’ve gone this fucking long without being caught up in this shit and you corner me once now i’m one of them.” tears built up in your eyes. “at least give me the courtesy of not saying my name.” you walked away from him, leaving him to stand alone, stunned.

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Geto didn’t tell anyone. it’s been two weeks and he hasn’t muttered a single word about what happened in the rink. he didn’t even tell Satoru, the only person in the world he tells everything. ever since it happened you wouldn’t even look at him. if he caught your eyes you would immediately cast yours down. you went back to avoiding him and he hated it, he fucked up. he still can’t explain what came over him that night, he doesn’t know why it happened but he can’t take it back now. he thought it would open the door for something, some way in for him. it didn’t.

one of your friends, Reí, had noticed something was up with you. you were quieter, there was this awkward air to you. she approached you one day when you were leaving class.

“hey, what’s up with you?” you were heading to the quad, it was lunch time and you had some extra work you’d like to get done, you figured fresh air would be good for you.

“nothings up with me.” you chuckled awkwardly. you took a seat on a bench under a shady tree. the sky was a little muted today, the fall season in full effect, it wasn’t a bright day like it usually would be. the sky not a bright blue and the sun not shining as much as it would. it seemed as though the earth was reflecting your mood.

“come on, Y/N/N, be honest with me.” she laughed. “what’s up?” you huffed a bit as you looked over your campus. a gust of wind blew past you, blowing your hair over your shoulder.

“i fucked up.” you whispered.

“you? you never fuck up.” Reí tried to joke.

“i did, i do. i- i don’t know.” you began to pick at your nails.

“what happened?” you sighed before turning to look her in her eyes.

“there’s this guy.”

“a guy?”

“yeah.”

“so… what about this guy? do you like him? is that it, you like a guy?”

“no. i don’t like this guy, that’s the problem.”

“well Y/N/N, i don’t think it’s that much of a problem. you don’t like him, it can’t be that serious. right?”

“we fucked.”

“oh!”

“we fucked and i don’t know what to do.” you sobbed, tears running down your face. Reí moved closer and pulled you into a hug, her arms wrapping around you and petting your hair. she shushed you as you cried into her neck. “i don’t do that type of thing and- and ever since J i haven’t done anything and then this one guy comes out of nowhere and just fucks it all up!”

“it’s ok, we all have flings in college, it’s cool.”

“no! it’s not just a fling, Reí, i hate this guy.” your sentences came out in broken sobs. “that was never supposed to happen and now when everyone finds out they’re gonna think i’m some slut for letting it happen.” you pulled back to look at her, your lower lip trembling as you spoke.

“why would anybody think that?” she tucked pieces of your hair behind your ear and wiped your tears.

“cause that’s what everybody thinks.” you looked down and played with your hands. “everyone here thinks all the girls here who have sex are nasty.” you looked back up to her. “i don’t wanna be nasty.” you pouted.

“aww, baby, no one’s gonna think you’re nasty.”

“yes they will.” you nodded at her. “you should’ve heard what they said when me and J broke up. he told them what we did. he told them i let him take my virginity and everyone called me really mean names.” you swallowed harshly. “it took months for everyone to forget about that, until the next thing happened everyone was so mean. i didn’t even do anything! i thought i was just being a good girlfriend.”

“what do you mean?” she gave you a puzzled look.

“J wanted to have sex.” you looked into her eyes. “i told him i wasn’t ready but he told me everyone else was doing it. he said that we should too and i’d be the best girlfriend. i didn’t even know what i was supposed to do.”

“Y/N/N he didn’t… did he?”

“no. i told him it was ok but i regretted it after. he got mad i didn’t wanna do anything anymore so he broke up with me.” another tear trailed down your face. “he told almost everyone. all the girls laughed at me and all they guys called me a prude. said i wasn’t even worth it.”

“he was a dick, Y/N/N. he wasn’t worth it and i’m so sorry that happened.” you shrugged at her. “but, what does this have to do with this guy?” she tilted her head, her pretty brown hair falling over her shoulder.

“cause he’s a dick too. he’s a dick and i know he’s gonna tell everyone.”

“how long ago was it?”

“like… two weeks ago?”

“well, i haven’t heard anything and y’know, most guys wouldn’t wait two weeks to start telling everyone who he fucked, right?”

“i guess.”

“look, i know this is a lot to think about, how about we get your mind off it. let’s go get some lunch, on me?” she was hopeful, she didn’t want to watch you sulk, you’re one of the best and brightest people she knows. you shook your head.

“i have some stuff to do.” you whispered.

“ok. fine, ok. you want me to sit with you?”

“no. i wanna be alone if that’s ok.”

“sure. just- just let me know if you need anything, yeah? i’m always here.” you gave her a nod and she leant down to give you a peck on the forehead before she walked away. she’d always been a good friend to you. looking back out to the campus, you saw his familiar black hair, in a half up half down style now. he walked with some girl - Yari, from your team - he was walking her to the science building and once they reached the front doors, she turned around and smiled at him. they spoke for a bit before he grabbed her by her chin, pulling her to him and planting a kiss on her lips. once he let go she looked up to him, her eyes sparkling.

your heart clenched.

getting up and gathering your things you stormed off and towards your dorm. retreating there for the rest of the day.

Suguru didn’t mean to get involved with Yari. really, it just… happened. he was upset about the situation between you two and she just so happened to be there. the only reason he’s stayed talking to her for this long is because in some way, she reminds him of you. the way her eyes light up when she looks at him, as if he’s hung the moon and the stars, it reminds him of how you used to look at him way back when. before he fucked you over. before he was so mean to you, how your eyes would shine when you looked at him. if he squinted just enough when looking at her, he could see you. ever since that night in the rink, he’s only wanted to see you. to feel you again, to hold you. his hands have been itching to grab for you whenever you two cross paths. not having you is like living hell. he hates it.

finally leaving Yari, he turns around to head to his own class. making his way across the quad he sees a figure hurriedly walking in some direction. when he looks over at it, he recognizes it’s you. he wants to follow you, so bad. but he knows he shouldn’t, if he did you’d probably have his head on a stake.

----------------

another week had passed before you started feeling somewhat like yourself again. Reí had decided to take you out a couple of days ago. she took you to the diner not too far off campus, you two talked over milkshakes and french fries. she didn’t pry too much but talking to her made you feel like you had a weight lifted off your chest. it felt great. practice was canceled again today, something about one of the coaches having a family emergency, so the rink was free for the day.

you decided to take it over for the night. one of the custodians told you no one was coming in tonight so you were free to have it. you were trying to get one specific move down, the same one you’ve been trying to learn since freshman year. it was a move all hockey players used. a hockey stop, simple yet, you’d once seen Suguru spin and come to a full hockey stop. you’d wondered how he did it. while your sports were similar there was a clear difference between them. figure skaters were gentle with their movements and it took more agility to follow through with them. hockey players were more aggressive. hockey was about defense and brutality, the players were more up-front and they lacked flexibility.

while you were a figure skater, you did appreciate hockey and had taken a liking to practicing their moves. you’d even introduced some into the choreography of your team, giving some contrast to the ensemble. the harshness of the hockey moves plus the gentleness of figure skating make for a beautiful scene. you’ve mastered the hockey stop, it’s an easy move but when you had watched Suguru do a complete 360 and come to the stop it was something you had wanted to do as well. while you’d seen him do it years ago it never really left your head and with the new choreography you were coming up with, you wanted to include the move.

you were getting closer, you think. well, it was better than before. at first you had completely busted your ass, sliding along the ice and hurting your chin. now most times when you fell, you went down slower. able to catch yourself before you fell on your ass again. as you were practicing you fell again, sitting down and huffing out a breath. the ice nipped at your legs through your tights and you sat for a second, looking up at the roof before looking down to play with your hands. what you hadn’t noticed was a guest within the seats, watching you as you tried to ace the move over, and over again.

“you’re putting too much weight on your back foot.” your head shot around quickly, turning to face the booming voice. you rolled your eyes when you looked at him. there he stood, 6 '2'' stature wearing all black, his arms at his side and his jet black hair falling over his wide shoulders.

“can you just go away?”

“can i help you?” the question was genuine, he wanted to help. and maybe spend time with you.

“no.”

“why not?”

“cause i don’t want your help.” you deadpanned. Suguru got up and walked away, you thanked God he chose to adhere to your request. getting back up, you went to the other side of the rink, skating yourself across the ice. you turned backwards and put your left leg out, turning into a camel spin, both your arms placed straight out to your sides. bringing your leg back down for an upright spin, putting an abrupt stop to the turn you jut out your right leg for the hockey stop. just as you thought you had gotten it, you fell back onto your palms. sitting back down and heaving out another sigh, you were ready to give up for the day. just as you were ready to go, you heard the doors to the rink being opened. you turned to see Suguru walking onto the ice. falling out and splaying yourself along the ice you groaned quite dramatically.

“get up.” he stood over you.

“i told you to go away.” you looked to him, one eye closed as the light shined in it.

“i told you i was going to help.”

“i don’t need your help. i’m done.” you sat up, getting on your knees to stand up fully. Suguru grabbed your arm pulling you up and into him. “can you get off of me?” instead of responding, he started skating to the opposite side of the rink, dragging you along with him. once you reached the corner, he let go.

“show me.” he gestured to the rink.

“yeah, i’d rather not.” you were going to walk away but he grabbed you and turned you towards the open space of the rink.

“you want to get it down right? show me.” his voice was soft as he spoke to you. you contemplated for a second. you could leave and go home or you could get help from the person who inspired the move. going home seemed like a really good option. getting into position, you started skating before doing just as you had done before, camel into an upright spin and full hockey stop. once again tipping over and landing on your ass. “like i said, you’re putting too much weight on your back foot, that’s why you keep falling back. and you can’t just stop, it’s too much force, you need to build up some sort of momentum so there’s something to combat the weight of your body.” his arms were crossed over his chest as he spoke to you, muscles bulging even through his black shirt. you were staring at the veins in his hands before you quickly brought your eyes up to his then looked away.

“sure.” taking up your spot next to him you did as he said, once again a camel into an upright spinning and once your right foot met the ice again, you gave yourself a slight push before coming into the hockey stop. this time you didn’t fall onto your ass, landing on one of your knees instead. slightly better.

“you’re not compensating enough for your own weight, look.” Suguru started his own skate and turned into a spin, not exactly an upright one but close enough. as the turn came to a close, he pushed himself forward again, quite harshly, before stopping. “see, you need a counter for yourself. just stopping isn’t enough to carry you. now you do it.” this time when you did it, following through with an extra push, you didn’t fall. instead you had tripped forward and bumped into the wall. “now you’re putting too much weight on your front foot. you need to find a balance. do we have to run first year training drills?”

“i’m not some freshman, Geto. i know what i’m doing.” you snapped.

“do you?” you stared at him quizzically before giving up.

“nevermind. i’m done.” walking away you headed to the door.

“wait.” you paused. “i- i don’t mean to be rude or anything. i’m actually trying to help.”

“you think you’re gonna help by demeaning my skill set? i’m captain for a reason.”

“i’m not trying to. i’m captain too, remember?”

“we play two different sports.”

“yeah, and you’re trying to perfect one of my moves. let me help you.”

“i can do it by myself.” you turned to face him.

“i’m not saying you can’t. but i know it pretty well and i can show you how to do it.” you stared at him blankly. “listen, if… if i help you get this right, you can teach me some moves from your team.” that got your attention.

“really?”

“yeah.” you slowly skated to him.

“ok.” for the next hour, Suguru had shown you how to incorporate a hockey stop into your routine. you had finally gotten to a point where you didn’t fall at all. the move could use a little work but it was way better than what you had before. once you had finally gotten it, you were so excited you jumped with glee, somehow making your way into Sugurus arms. his large arms had wrapped around you as you hugged him. when you noticed where you were, you immediately backed out of his embrace.

“sorry.”

“it’s fine.” you began to slowly skate backwards.

“i should go now, it’s pretty late.” your voice came out quietly and you pointed behind you. Suguru began to skate toward you.

“or, we can stay, practice a little longer?”

“i- um, i don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“why not?” he was in front of you. you had skated yourself so far back and somehow, into a wall.

“cause.”

“because?” there’s a small space left between your bodies and Suguru had reached forward, pulling you into him, he leaned down, inching his face closer to yours. “because what?” he whispered against your lips.

“cause- um,” he pressed himself closer to you, torso to torso. “cause-” you didn’t get to finish your sentence as he gently pressed his lips to yours. you sighed into his mouth as your lips met. you wrapped your arms around his neck, falling into him as you breathed him in. he deepened the kiss, parting your lips with his own and sliding his tongue against yours. you moaned into his mouth and he groaned against yours. suddenly, reality hit you and you pulled away. “what is wrong with you?”

“huh?”

“don’t act dumb, Geto, oh my God. i- i can’t.”

“can’t what?” you pressed a hand to your forehead and began to skate away.

“what are you gonna tell your girlfriend?”

“girlfriend? i- i don’t-”

“what?” you turned back to him. “she doesn’t have to know? don’t give me that.”

“Y/N, what fucking girlfriend are you talking about.”

“Yari!” you exhaled, exasperated.

“Yari’s not my girlfriend.”

“so you’ve been doing this with her too? what, you fucked her in the locker room like you did me? does your girlfriend know about her-”

“i don’t have a girlfriend!” he yelled over you.

“then why do i always see you with Yari?!”

“see me with her? i’m never with her.”

“yes you are, Suguru! you’re always with her! i see you parading around campus with her, walking her to class, sitting out on the quad with her. she- she comes to practice talking about you.” you began picking at your nails.

“i-” he didn’t know what to say, you’re right, he’s always with her. it’s not his choice, she just follows him around everywhere. he told her to leave him alone last week but she swore they had something special, that she loved him and knew he loved her too. talk about delusional.

“so i’m right?” you scoffed. deciding to exit from the conversation, you began to skate to the exit. Suguru quickly caught up, grabbing your hand, he turned you to him.

“you’re wrong.” you just stared at him, a glazed over look in your eye. “she’s not my girlfriend. yeah, ok, we did something but that was it. i fucked with her for a while but i told her i didn’t like her, she just- she won’t leave me alone. i don’t have a girlfriend, at all. i don’t want one.”

“so what’s this supposed to be?” you gestured between the two of you with your free hand.

“i didn’t mean it like that.”

“then what did you mean?”

“Satoru’s having a thing tomorrow night,”

“i don’t do parties.”

“it’s not a party,” he rushed out. “Satoru said it’s just a little get together with some friends. can you stop by? maybe we can talk then?” you wanted to say no, there’s nothing to talk about but your mind didn’t have time to catch up with your body. you were nodding your head before a word could be muttered. “ok.” he let go of your hand, it was then that you realized your fingers were intertwined.

when you finally got back to your room that night, you screamed into a pillow. every pent up emotion that was building inside of you from spending so much time with Suguru escaping as you yelled. you couldn’t believe you let him get to you, again. and you can’t believe you agreed to meet him tomorrow night. what was wrong with you.

----------------

the next day flew by, your classes went by smoothly, Suguru staring at you from across the room in the ones you had together. practice was a little rushed, it was a friday and a break was coming up, everyone was excited to get out. now you sat in your dorm, staring at your phone as the time ticked by. it was 7:23, Suguru never gave you a time to show up. what time were you supposed to come? were you already late? would he be mad? you sat for another hour, finally leaving the comfort of your room and heading across campus to the frat house.

walking up to the house, lights were flashing and music was booming. people were sitting outside, all huddled up because of the cold, passing around a blunt. “so much for a ‘small get together.’” you muttered to yourself. approaching the front door, you walked in and were immediately hit with the smell of a college party. sweaty bodies jumped and rubbed against each other, others were making out somewhere in a corner. looking over the area, you tried to spot his tall stature and black hair. when you didn’t see him you moved into the crowd. walking through the people and moving to the kitchen, you grabbed a water bottle before going back to searching around. after searching for a while, you gave up, finding one of his frat brothers instead. “have you seen Suguru?” he looked you up and down before responding.

“you that crazy bitch?”

“huh?”

“you that crazy bitch?” he said, more pointedly.

“what crazy bitch?”

“what’s her name? um, she’s on the figure team.”

“Yari?”

“yeah! that’s you?”

“i’m not Yari.” he squinted his eyes before shrugging.

“upstairs, second door to the left. knock.” that’s all he said before turning to walk over to a group of girls, they all looked at you weird before he approached them. going up the stairs, you almost made it to the top before you saw him. his broad stature leaned against a wall, hair tied back in a bun, his arms crossed over his chest as he spoke. he sat talking to some girl, eyes hooded as he looked at her, a smirk on his face. you stared at the two, her short brown hair falling to one side as she tilted her head. walking back down the steps, especially quiet so they wouldn’t hear you, you headed back to the kitchen. you leaned against the counter, gripping the sides. ok, if he wants to be all over every girl, you can be all over every guy.

stomping out of the kitchen you looked around before making your way to the makeshift dance floor. you slipped in between the bodies, finding your way to the middle. settling into the people grinding on each other, you tapped the shoulder of some random guy, Haibara his name is, another brother of the frat, you asked if he wanted to dance. he looked between you and the girl he was dancing with before completely turning to you, letting out and enthusiastic, “sure!” you heard the girl mutter something before she walked away angrily. turning around, you pulled the boy closer to you, pressing your ass to his crotch, you heard a stuttered breath escape his lips.

you placed his hands on your hips and swayed slowly, grinding against him to the beat of the song. you saw Suguru make his way down the steps slowly, one arm hanging over the shoulder of the girl, they laughed together loudly. out of spite, you dragged one of Haibara's hands up your body slowly. his breathing grew heavier behind you. you knew he was shy, one of the more reserved brothers of the frat. he only joined because Satoru and Suguru made Nanami join and by association, him. you felt bad, you weren’t sure what he was comfortable with and here you were making him feel you up. he didn’t seem to care though, pulling you closer and laying his forehead on your shoulder. Suguru saw you from across the room, eyes locking onto you and the figure behind you. you saw him whisper something in the girl's ear and she looked over too, she gestured to you and Haibara, Suguru kissed her forehead quickly and let go.

he quickly made his way over to you two. when he reached you, he grabbed your forearm and pulled you away from the brunette boy. “hey- oh! what’s up Suguru.” Haibara smiled.

“nothing.” he dragged you along with him as he walked away, taking you to the steps.

“let go of me.” you tried to pull away but his grip grew more firm. “Suguru let go-” he spun you around when you reached the first step pushing you up against the wall. people around stared for a while before going back to minding their business.

“Haibara?” he questioned, his nostril flaring as he breathed.

“what?”

“i come downstairs cause someone told me you’re looking for me and i catch you fucking with Haibara?”

“why does it matter?” you rolled your eyes.

“cause it fucking does.”

“but it doesn’t matter when it’s you though, right?”

“what are you talking about.”

“i go upstairs to find you and i see you laughing and giggling with some girl? the same thing with Yari. it’s cool when you do it, right?”

“some girl?” he stared at you for a second before he started laughing.

“what’s so funny?” he continued to laugh, damn near hunched over now.

“aww, princess.” he stood back up, you glared at him. “you jealous?”

“jealous?” you said incredulously. “why would i be jealous of anything you do?”

“that was Ieiri, princess, my best friend.”

“oh…”

“yeah and i told you i don’t like Yari.”

“you don’t act like it.” was your quick reply.

“ok.” he stepped back. “go upstairs.”

“for?” he stepped back into your personal space.

“go upstairs, when i get up there i want you sitting down in just that pretty little set i know you have on for me.” he whispered in your ear. your face felt like it was on fire.

“i- i don’t have on a set.”

“i know you do, princess.” he walked away, going to the kitchen, before he passed the threshold he looked back to you, raising his eyebrow at you. you turned around and walked up the steps, going straight to his room. once you entered, you contemplated for a second, would you really do this? yes. you took off your shirt first, letting it fall to the floor, you fixed the cups of your pretty bra before unbuttoning your pants. you let them pool around your ankles before kicking them off. you sat on the bed, tucking your legs under yourself and placing your hands on your knees. you sat there for maybe two minutes picking at your thumbs. the door opened and you jumped a bit.

Suguru entered with two water bottles in his hands and something wrapped up. he smiled when he saw you sitting so prettily on his bed. you stood out against his dark sheets. the bright pale blue and pinks of your lingerie contrasting with his dark gray bedspread. “you look so pretty like that.” he sat the things in his hands down and walked over to you, cupping his hand under your chin and tilting your head up. he ran the pad of his thumb along your bottom lip, pulling it down and then letting it pop back up into place. he leaned down, pressing a kiss to your lips, it quickly grew messy, “open.” he murmured against your lips. you parted your lips, looking up to him with wide eyes. he let a glob of spit from his mouth fall into yours. “swallow.” he watched your throat bob up and down, you could taste the fruit punch he drank earlier. he tasted sweet. “sit back and spread your legs for me.” you looked up at him as he stood back up, leaning himself against his dresser. “you gonna do it or do i have to make you?”

you crawled up to his headboard slowly on all fours, he watched you, his cock twitching in his pants as he watched you ass sway side to side. he cleared his throat as you settled against his pillows. you spread your legs for him, watching him from across the room. “what do you want me to do?” you asked in a whisper.

“i want you to fuck yourself on you fingers like you do when you think of me.”

“i-”

“what?”

“i don’t think of you.”

“come on, princess, we both know you do. why else would you get your panties in a twist when you see me with another girl?” you sighed, looking down at yourself. “pull those pretty little panties to the side and spread yourself open on your fingers.”

“ok.” you whispered. your fingers twitched nervously, not sure what to do with him staring at you.

“just pretend i’m not here, pretty girl, it’s ok.” you nodded your head. everything around you was so irrecoverably him, the sheets were soft against him and smelled like him, so warm. if you focused hard enough you could hear his breathing from across the room. closing your eyes you began to slowly trail your fingers down your body, hyper aware of your own touch. you dragged your fingers back up your stomach and to your chest, cupping your boobs through your bra. “take it off.” you obliged, quickly unclipping the offending garment and letting it fall off the side of the bed. “fuck.” you could hear the sound of a zipper and some shuffling. pinching your nipples you let out a soft sound, tweaking both of them between your thumb and forefinger. letting one hand trail down your body again, you dragged it down and began to run circles over your clit on top of your underwear.

“Suguru.” you moaned softly. he groaned at the noise. you slipped your hand into your underwear, the stimulation sent sparks up your spine. dragging your fingers down to your hole, you circled it before slipping your middle finger in. you could hear a wet noise coming from where he is and the idea of him pulling on his cock to your fingering yourself pulled a moan out of you. slipping another finger into yourself, you moved them faster, the pads of them rubbing against your walls.

“go faster. wanna hear it.” he panted. wanted to hear it..? oh. oh. he wanted to hear the sound of your wetness as you fucked yourself. your back arched as you fucked yourself faster. your other hand continued to tweak at your nipple. you moaned out as you felt your stomach clench.

“Suguru! i’m gonna cum!” your toes curled and you whimpered. you could hear his stuttered breathing and he jerked himself off.

“let me see, pull your panties down.” he panted. your hand quickly moved to tug the gusset of your panties to the side. Suguru watched your fingers move in and out of you. his dream was finally coming true, the one girl he wanted was splayed out on his bed, fucking herself on her fingers, moaning out his name. his orgasm was building up quickly, he was going to bust everywhere from just watching you. you clenched around your fingers, mouth dropping open as you orgasm washed over you. you arched off the bed, moaning Sugurus name over and over again. he watched as you came, the way your essence dripped around and seeped through your fingers, how your chest raised and fell as you breathed heavily. Suguru groaned as he played with his tip, thumb running over it and you looked at him when you heard the noise.

“Sugu,” you whined. “wanna see you cum,” his jaw dropped and a small noise escaped his lips. “please.” he came all over his hand and the floor. spurts of his cum falling from his tip and he groaned as he came. you’re gonna be the death of him. once he regrouped, he walked over to you, kneeling above you as he looked into your eyes. he grabbed your hand, bringing it up to his lips and taking the two fingers that were just inside of you and putting them in his mouth. you moaned as he sucked on your fingers and his eyes rolled to the back of his head.

“you taste so good, princess.” your hand fell from his mouth back to your side. “wanna taste for myself, flip over.” you took too long to listen to him so he flipped you over himself. he had you on your hands and knees, back arched for him. he went behind you, watching your pretty pussy drip for him. “fuck.” he whispered to himself. one hand rubbed over your ass as the other pulled your panties down. you kicked them off completely and he sniffed them before dropping them off the bed. “count.”

“huh?” slap! one loud clap against your ass, you yelped out at the initial pain but it eventually turned into a pleasurable stinging sensation.

“count.” he said more firmly.

“one,” slap! “two,” slap! “three…” on and on he spanked you again and again. you counted all the way up to eleven before he let up. your ass stung from the spanking but the line between pleasure and pain was blurred. it hurt so bad it felt good. you whimpered when he circled his hands over your ass. before you could recognize what was going on, you felt a stripe being licked from your clit to your clenching hole. “Sugu!” you looked behind you to see him hunched over, sucking harshly on your clit as he spread your ass. another stripe licked up to your hole before he slipped his tongue in, you clenched around it, the cold metal of his piercing contrasted against the warmth of your walls and you swore you saw heaven. you shook as he fucked you with his tongue, falling onto your front your back arched perfectly for him as you pushed back against him.

the sounds were obscene, you could hear his tongue working against you and him groaning into your pussy. you moaned when he landed another slap to your ass, he gripped and jiggled it against his face. “oh my- fuck!” you squealed. he tongue licked and prodded against your walls as he ate you out. your thighs began to tremble, toes curling as your legs shook. his mouth moved down from your hole to your clit and you felt two of his fingers prodding at your entrance. his thick middle and ring fingers stretched you open he slipped them into you. he sucked on your clit and pressed his long fingers into that one spot inside of you. you whined loudly and he fucked you open on his fingers. “S-Sugu,” you slurred. “Sugu i’m gonna cum..!” you squeaked. he continued to work at you and another orgasm was building up in you. you kicked your feet as you felt your orgasm approaching but this felt different.

the coil in your stomach wound up tighter, you felt a pressure on your bladder and you trembled. you reached behind you blindly, grabbing Sugurus head and tangling your fingers in his hair. you felt him moan against you as you did so. “Sugu s-stop, i’m gonna pee.” you whined. he kept going, he either didn’t hear you or didn’t care but either way, he wasn’t gonna stop. “Sugu, wait!” he sucked harder at your clit and pressed his fingers into your g-spot. your toes curled as your back arched and you screamed out. your eyes rolled to the back of your head and all you saw was white. all you felt was your body shaking and wetness dripping down your thighs. your legs trembled at the earth-shattering orgasm and you whined and trembled at every touch you felt. Suguru moaned and groaned behind you, getting absolutely soaked as you squirted all over him and his bed. “Suguru!” you cried out, your feet kicked as he kept going.

“one more, just give me one more princess, i know you can.” you sobbed as he went back to sucking on your clit. another orgasm was building up quickly, your entire body shook as he sucked and prodded at you.

“Suguru,” you cried out. “i can’t.”

“yes you can, i know you can.” he muttered against you. tears were streaming down your face, you shook and trembled with every pass of his tongue. your one hand gripped his hair as the other gripped the sheets. the next orgasm came quickly and you cried out as it took over your body. his bed was almost completely soaked through because of you. the essence of your orgasm streaked down your thighs. he let go of you, sitting back on his knees and your body relaxed. you fell against the sheets, they stuck against your body because of how soaked they were. he watched you take deep breaths, your body slowly calming down. you could feel some shuffling behind you and hear the sound of fabric ruffling. you felt the weight of the bed shift, Suguru leaned above you, trailing kisses up your spine.

you felt his weight against your back as he laid on top of you. he kissed and licked at your neck, breathing into your ear. he took all his clothes off, he laid completely naked on top of you, his bare chest pressing against your back. you could feel everything, every outline of his abs against your back, you could also feel his cock pressing into your ass. grabbing his dick he ran his tips through your folds, collecting your wetness and smearing it along his cock. he pushed your left leg up, spreading you open for him and lifting your ass up so he could slip in easily. he pressed his tip into you, slowly slipping in your walls. you whimpered as you felt him throb within you. “oh, fuck.” he sighed. “you feel so fucking good.” he moaned, resting his head in your neck. you pushed back against him, pressing your ass flush against. he whined into your neck, “you’re gonna kill me.”

“move, please.”

“i can’t.” you got a flashback to the first night he fucked you. “i’ll cum.”

“please, Sugu. please.” you begged.

“ok.” he nodded, “ok.” he thrusted once and whimpered. he built up a steady rhythm, small noises fell from his lips as he fucked himself into you. “so fuckin’ tight, you’re so fuckin’ tight.” he fucked into you harder, the sounds of skin on skin bouncing off the walls of his room. “so much better than those other girls.” your body jerked and you looked behind you. “don’t worry princess, i’m not saying it to make you jealous.” he chuckled. “never had somebody like you, so fuckin perfect. you’re perfect y’know that?” when you didn’t respond he stopped moving. “answer me.”

“yes daddy!” you whined. his eyes crossed and his cock twitched deep within you, he never thought you were one to call somebody daddy, never took you as the submissive type at all. he leaned down over you.

“good girl.” he groaned into your ear. “good fucking girl.” he started moving again, fucking you deeper. his tip nudged your cervix each time from how deep he was and the pain added to your pleasure. you were damn near fucked dumb, any train of thought you had completely gone, all you could focus on was Suguru fucking you. you tightened around him, your orgasm building up in your lower stomach. “fuck, are you close?” you nodded your head. “you gonna cum for me, princess? make a mess all over me, yeah?” one hand trailed down your body, fingers playing with your clit and pushing you closer to the edge. you gripped the sheets hard, you swore you could hear the seams ripping.

“i’m gonna cum, Sugu!”

“hold it.” you shook your head. “you can hold it for me, i know you can.”

“i can’t, i can’t!” you sobbed. “i can’t, daddy, i’m gonna cum, please let me cum.”

“i said ‘hold it,’ right?” your body tensed up completely, your legs locking around Suguru from behind. before you could stop yourself, you were creaming around him. you cried out as you came, eyes crossing and rolling to the back of your head. you squeezed so tight around him he almost slipped out. he groaned as you clenched around him, his face was completely red, eyes hooded as he watched you cum around him. “i thought i told you to hold it.”

“i couldn’t do it.” you sniffled. “‘m sorry daddy.”

“aww, it’s ok baby.” he tucked some of your hair behind your ear, looking at your face. tears stained your face, mascara running down your cheeks, he smiled at you.

“want you to cum, daddy. want you to cum in me.” he groaned at your words, his cock twitched violently inside of you. he completely covered you, laying on top of you and matching his body up with yours. his arms wrapped around you, pulling you flush against him. he began thrusting into you again, building up a fast pace, chasing his own orgasm.

“i’m gonna cum, right in this pretty little pussy and you’re gonna hold it all inside you. then, you’re gonna walk around the house with it all in you, let everybody know that i did it, let everybody know i’m yours.” let everybody know i'm yours. he wants to kill you. his pace began to falter and he gave a couple of more thrusts before stilling above you. he moaned into your ear, quieting himself by biting your neck. you felt him fill you up, rope after rope of his cum filling you up. you moaned with him, another orgasm taking over your body. Sugurus' body twitched as he came, he sighed out as his orgasm finally passed over him. he relaxed into you, falling on top of you.

“you’re heavy.” he laughed at you, sliding out of you and laying down next to your side. you turned your head to face him, he was already staring at you with a small smile on his face. “what?” your voice was hoarse.

“you’re so pretty,” he said quietly. you looked down before looking back into his eyes.

“thank you.” you whispered. he got up quickly, pulling on his boxer briefs, you sat up, covering yourself with your arms. “where are you going?”

“nowhere.”

“are you leaving?” you asked shyly.

“no, Y/N/N, i’m not leaving.” he walked over to his dresser, grabbing the two water bottles and whatever was wrapped up in the foil. making his way back to the bed, he sat down next to you. “here, drink something, it’ll help your throat.” he opened the water bottle for you. you took it from him and sipped from it slowly. he unwrapped what was in the foil - a sandwich. “eat this.” you took the sandwich from him and ate it. he watched you, he turned over to his nightstand - it was then you noticed the dragon tattoo displayed on his back - he grabbed some wipes and began unpacking them. he wiped the smeared mascara off of your face and wiped some crumbs from the corner of your mouth. “can i?” he gestured to you. you raised an eyebrow at him. “wipe you?”

“oh, you don’t have to.”

“yeah but i want to.”

“ok.” you laid back and opened your legs for him, he got in between them with a new new wipe.

“can you push it out for me?”

“thought you wanted me to keep it all in.”

“just do what i say.” he looked up at you, he looked so good between your legs like this, you’ll have to get him between them like this again.

“yes, daddy.” you rolled your eyes. sighing, you tried your best to squeeze all of his cum out of you. he watched it flow out you in thick globs.

“fuck.” he leaned down, licking at you quickly.

“Sugu!” your thighs closed around his head. “don’t do that. ‘m sensitive.”

“sorry, princess, you just look so good.” he smirked at you. he cleaned you up gently, getting up and searching through his drawers for a shirt and passing you one of his old gray tees. he picked you up and carried you out of the room, you hadn’t even noticed the party had stopped. carrying you to the bathroom and setting you on the sink he grabbed an extra toothbrush and any other thing he thought you would need. “i’m gonna go change the sheets real quick. you can come back to the room when you’re done.” he pecked your lips before exiting the bathroom. you got ready to go to bed, brushing your teeth and washing your face. you dried your hands and left the bathroom. you trekked back into his room, there he sat on the edge of it, scrolling on his phone. he put it down at his side and gestured for you to come over to him. when close enough he grabbed your hips and pulled you to him.

“did you um- did you dry the wet spot?” you asked, embarrassed. his hands rubbed up and down your thighs. your own hands played with the hair at the nape of his neck, his bun was looser now, more hairs framing his face.

“wet spot?” he looked behind him. “oh.” he laughed.

“what’s so funny?” you froze.

“waterproof liner.” you looked at him questioningly. “spilled some shit on my bed once, couldn’t get the stain out so i bought some waterproof liners. do you want to lay down?”

“um, no.”

“why not?”

“cause i should go. y’know, it’s late and i don’t want my roommate-”

“you don’t want to stay here.”

“what? no. that’s not- i’d love to stay.”

“so why don’t you?”

“cause i don’t want you to get tired of me.”

“tired?” you looked down awkwardly.

“i know how this goes, Suguru. i don’t want to stay only to be embarrassed later.”

“i wouldn’t embarrass you-”

“you can’t promise me that.”

“yeah, i can. do you- do you not see how much i care for you?”

“care?”

“i don’t want anybody the way i want you. never have. you make me… you make me feel good.”

“oh-”

“not like that. yeah, you make me feel good.” he chuckled. “but i just, i don’t know, i like the way you look at me.”

“how do i look at you?”

“like you care for me too. i like that. it makes me feel like i mean something.”

“everybody thinks you mean something.” you rubbed at his scalp and he felt shudders down his spine.

“yeah but it’s different. everyone cares cause they think i can do something for them, y’know. it’s fake but when it’s you, it feels right.” your face burned at his words and you looked down shyly.

“oh.” you giggled.

“oh?”

“i didn’t think you liked me like that.”

“why wouldn’t i?”

“cause you’re mean.”

“i am. i’m sorry.”

“you’re sorry?”

“yeah, i just, i didn’t know how to tell you i like you.”

“so you were practically a bully?”

“i guess.” he shrugged and laughed.

“how backwards is that?”

“i’ll have you backwards.” he smirked.

“what does that even mean?!” you laughed.

“wanna find out?”

“huh-” before you could finish, Suguru wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you down to the bed next to him. you fell in a fit of giggles and he laughed along with you, silencing you with a kiss. the rest of the tight was spent with shared laughter, kisses, and fingers tangled together. it felt nice, you weren’t used to this side of him. he fell asleep before you, his head resting on his own pillow while one arm stayed on your stomach. you stared at him, watched his eyes flutter under his lids and the way his lips parted as he breathed. you tucked some hair behind his ear and pressed a kiss to his cheek, snuggling into his side, you let sleep overtake you and it may have been the best sleep you’ve gotten in a while. it just felt right to be in his arms.

----------------

for the next week you were either in Sugurus' room or somewhere out on the town with him. he kept you fed, hydrated, and full of dick. there were marks up and down your body from him, bites, hickeys, scratches, you had them all. all the brothers of his frat gave you a knowing look whenever you left his room, always in one of his shirts. when he took you out, Suguru made sure to always take you to places you’d never been before. which was pretty easy seeing as you spent most of your time cooped up in your dorm or in the rink. you’d found a new favorite diner, they had the best fries and milkshakes. the first time Suguru had watched you dip your fries into your vanilla shake, he stared at you in disgust. you’d forced him to try it, he had a whole fit before you stuffed his mouth with the fries. he shut up after a while and agreed that it wasn’t that bad, he wouldn’t tell you he actually liked it.

eventually Satoru had found out when he just walked into Sugurus room only to find him balls deep inside you. Suguru yelled at him to get out, throwing a shoe at his head. Satoru quickly slammed the door but not before he let out a wolf whistle at the sight. you were mortified, vowing to never show your face to Satoru again. that was in vain as the next morning at breakfast he had walked into the kitchen and stared at you for a while before exiting and making his way back upstairs. Suguru made sure his best friend would never mention it to you again, knowing how embarrassed you felt to be found in such a vulnerable position.

you sat in Sugurus bed scrolling on your phone while his T.V played a random show in the back. he laid next to you asleep, tired from running around from errands all day. he stirred awake, rubbing at his eyes and looking at you. “g’mornin’.”

“Sugu, it’s one p.m.” you snickered.

“oh. good afternoon.”

“hi.” you giggled. “do you wanna-” there was a knock at the door. Suguru went to get up but you grabbed his bicep. “i got it, lay back down.” you went to open the door. turning the knob, a familiar voice broke through the threshold before you could get it all the way open.

“Geto, have you seen Satoru-” Bri paused as she stared at you. “no fucking way.”

“oh. hey Bri.” you chuckled awkwardly.

“you’re such a fucking hypocrite.”

“what?”

“i can’t see Satoru but you can fuck his best friend.” the anger was obvious on her face.

“i didn’t- i don’t-”

“are we fucking serious right now? you’re gonna lie about it. i thought you were a bitch but this is low even for you.”

“i- i never told you you couldn’t see Satoru and we’re not just fucking-”

“just shut up. you practically shouted how much you hated the idea of me and Satoru together. were you jealous? is that what it was? you were mad because i actually had him and you wanted his best friend? when he’s over you next week, don’t come fucking crying to me.” Suguru jumped up from his bed and stormed over to the door.

“watch your fucking mouth when you’re taking to her.” your breathing stuttered and tears built up in your eyes. “no ones fucking jealous of you, i don’t even know why she’s friends with someone like you. Satoru doesn’t fucking like you, he told you that but you keep coming back here cause you think you can change his mind. let me tell you something, no matter how many times you fuck him, it’ll never change.” he stepped closer to her. “all he sees you as is something to nut in, that’s all everybody sees.” her eyes flickered all over his face. “go some fucking where before you embarrass yourself.” he slammed the door in her face and turned around to you. he saw the tears falling down your cheeks and immediately pulled you into him, wrapping his arms around you. “i’m sorry. i don’t know what her problem is, she was out of line.”

“it’s fine. she’s right.” you sniffled out.

“how is she right?” he pulled away from you.

“i am a hypocrite.” you cried. “i told her you and Satoru are dicks and then she finds me with you. it’s wrong.”

“hey, hey.” he cupped your face and made you look up at him. “it’s not wrong, you’re right, me and Satoru are dicks but that doesn’t mean she can just talk to you like that.” you looked down to the floor, closing your eyes. “look at me. she’s the one whose jealous. she’s jealous because she knows Satoru doesn’t like her and you’re here with me. she wants to be you, that’s it. don’t listen to her, ok?”

“ok.” you whimpered.

“how about a nap, yeah. sleep and when you wake up we can get milkshakes and fries.” you nodded and let him pull you down to the bed.

----------------

it took a while for you to cheer up after the situation with Bri. Satoru had stopped talking to her completely after Suguru told him what happened, he’d even apologized for letting it happen when it wasn’t his fault at all. now, you sat on the sides of a rink at a major competition. the TMTC figure skating team had won a spot in a regional competition, schools from four different states were coming to compete and whatever team won got a grant of 7,000 dollars to use to upgrade their schools ice skating rink, an unnecessarily large trophy that sat in a glass case across the rink, and the chance to go to nationals. your team had won the spot at the competition a while ago after winning gold against Kyoto college. while you belonged here, it was proven in the way you participated in the last comp, you were deep in your own head.

you made the team practice non-stop to ace the choreography, making sure everyone was on their a-game. you sat on the bench with your hands on your knees, hands tucked under your chin and one of your knees bouncing up and down. you were nervous, you’d never performed in such a large stadium before, let alone in front of so many people.

Suguru sat in a chair not too far from the rink, close enough to see your features and how nervous you were. he wanted to go out on the ice and hold you, tell you it was ok and he knew you would win because he did. you got this far, you carried your team all the way to this comp, he had no doubt in his mind you would bring gold home. he hoped you knew that as well. your team was up next, two already went before you. it was your time to get ready and you led the team to the locker room. everyone was lacing up their skates in silence, the nerves bouncing off all the girls. once you finished tying your skates you stood in front of them all.

“guys.” you started. “i know i’m not really good at the whole encouraging speech thing but i just wanted you all to know that i’m proud of us. we got all the way here, we made it this far because of our hard work. i don’t want y’all to put too much pressure on yourselves. no matter what we all joined this sport because we love it and it’s fun. we can have fun tonight, don’t let some competitions take the joy out of this. whatever happens tonight, whether we win or we lose, it’s fine. i won’t say i wouldn’t be disappointed if we lost but we got here. we worked our asses off and proved we belong. so when we go out there, i want y’all to show everyone who we are. we’re not just the TMTC figure skating team, we’re girls who all have our own personalities and joined this sport for different reasons. show them that.” everyone clapped and smiled fondly at you, standing up and huddling around. they called for your team on the loud speakers. “alright, this is our time, don’t take it for granted.”

the team left the locker room and you headed out behind them. you all lined up along the ice and waited for your que. the song you had chosen began to play and one by one the line began to disperse. following the choreography you had come up with, the dance started slowly. every girl skated out into a step sequence, their movements following the tempo of the song. the music began to speed up and so did the moves, excluding you there was an even amount of girls on the team, so you paired them in twos. two girls were assigned to each other and executed the choreography together. they did a combination of moves supporting one another. you skated through them, sometimes grabbing onto their waists as they spun around to spin with them, crouching down onto your knees and tucking your head into your shoulders.

the music became louder, the beat progressing and each of your moves becoming harsher, more restricted to display the emotion of the dance. you skated on one leg, through four of the girls, you placed one of your legs down, turning the move onto an upright spin and once you began to spin faster, two sets of hands grabbed your waist stopping you. your turn stopped abruptly, just as you stopped you broke free, skating away from them and towards one wall, just as you reached it, you fell to your knees, turning on them as the rest of the team approached you. they covered your body completely, all of their hands reaching to grab some part of you and just as they moved and light broke through the makeshift cover they made over you, they hoisted you into the air. not too high to the point you’d land dangerously, but enough so you landed and turned, one foot poured out behind you and hands displayed in front of you for balance.

the girls began skating to you quite fast, their moves harsh as they came at you, just before they reached you, they stopped. clasping hands and beginning the next part of the choreo you taught them. while everyone was distracted by their dance, you snuck off into a corner, sitting and waiting for your que. you sat for a minute before your que came up. the girls were lined up once again, like they were when the dance started. they all had their backs turned to you. the music grew again, reaching its crescendo. skating to them, one by one from each row they all turned to you, skating faster and lifting one leg in the air, you held your hands out behind you. bringing that foot back down and jumping, you turned in the air and landed on the opposite foot, now skating backwards, body swaying side to side.

just as you saw the tip of someone’s skate just in your view - strategically placed for you - you brought that leg back down again, pushing yourself forward off the tip of your blade and turning around, you headed for the gap between the girls split directly in the middle. you began to spin again just as you reached the gap some of their hands began reaching for you but stopping the turn, you came to a full hockey stop, falling down into position for a hydroblade. four girls behind you fell dramatically onto another while others began to turn into a sit spin. you laid with your chest pressing against the floor, rising and falling into the ice as you panted. the music stopped abruptly, the rest of the girls falling out of their sitting spins onto the floor as well and for a second all there was was silence. all you could hear was your own breathing before the stadium erupted into loud cheers. claps could be heard all throughout the stadium, whistles and the thumps of people’s boots and sneakers as they jumped.

relaxing and getting up from the ice you turned to the team, everyone was looking around the stadium at all the people clapping for them. from across the arena, Suguru yelled for you. he clapped so hard his hands were red. “that’s my fucking girl!” he goaded, he was so proud of you he felt like his chest could burst. he whooped and yelled for you as you and the team headed back to the locker room. he stood out against everyone else, 6’2” frame wearing all black with jet black hair cheering for some girl on a team wearing a bright pink tutu, it was almost comical. you and the team got undressed in the locker room, all dressed in TMTC tracksuits. you skated back to the rink to sit back on your assigned bench. there are three more teams after you. you had to sit through all of them before the results came in.

the teams after you were so good, you clapped and cheered for them when they finished and it was finally the end of the night. the panelists had called for all teams to come stand in the rink as they announced the winners, the announcements began. people from within the stadium voted on who they wanted to win on the website on their phones, they picked who they thought belonged in first, second and third. the victors for second and third were announced and you let your head hang. you had at least expected third, your performance wasn’t like others, it took a more aggressive approach rather than the usual gentleness of figure skating. maybe you should have stuck to what you knew. preparing for the disappointment of a loss, you began slowly backing away from the team.

“and the first place winner for this year's regional competition is…” silence overtook the audience. “Tokyo Metropolitan Technical College!” you paused, not exactly sure if you heard him right. the crowd broke out in applause, cheers damn near breaking the sound barrier. your team was already at the man with the trophy’s side. they watched you before they all yelled at you to come get your trophy. you skated over to them quickly, Reí held out the trophy for you to grab and as you took it, you fell to your knees. you cried as you held the trophy. the team stood over you, rubbing your back, thanking you for leading them this far. you cried harder.

leaving the large stadium with the large trophy on your hand, everyone behind you was yelling out proudly. some stragglers from the crowd congratulated you as you left. once you got to the parking lot, you saw Suguru leaning against his car. you tried your best to run over to him, placing down the trophy and crashing into him. his arms wrapped around you and lifted you into the air, your feet left the concrete and you wrapped your arms around his neck. “you did it.”

“i did.” you sobbed, so proud of yourself.

“i’m so proud of you. i knew you were gonna win.” you cried into his neck. “you did so good pretty girl, you were the best.”

“you’re just saying that cause you’re fucking me.”

“no.” he placed you down, making you look at him. “that’s not why.”

“then what, Sugu?” he stared at you for a second before he turned around and opened his car door, grabbing something and hiding it strategically so you couldn’t see it. once he turned back to face you his ears were bright red and he huffed out a breath.

“Y/N L/N, will you do me the amazing honor and accept me as your boyfriend?” from behind his back, he pulled a beautiful bouquet of purple and white flowers. your jaw dropped and you looked between him and the flowers. “you gonna answer?”

“yes!” you wrapped your arms around him again. holding him close to you. you pulled back and pressed a messy kiss to his lips, tongues and teeth clashing. “you’re so corny.” you whispered to him.

“what can i say? you bring it out of me.” you laughed together. eventually he led you to the passenger seat, buckling you in and pressing kisses to your face. you stared at him as he got in the car. fondness all over your features, how lucky could you have been?

----------------

two months later you found yourself in the spot where everything started. back in the now improved locker room of your school, lacing up your skates to head to the ice. Suguru was waiting for you outside, sitting down staring out to the floor. approaching him from behind you tapped his shoulder. “come on.”

“what are we doing here?”

“just come on.” you rolled your eyes. grabbing his hands in your own, you began to walk backwards to the ice, watching him watch you. now on the rink you pulled him closer to you, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him towards you.

“what are we doing here?”

“why are you complaining?”

“cause,” he whined. “i wanna go back to my room and watch movies with my favorite person.”

“and who’s your favorite person?”

“Satoru.” he deadpanned, you hit his shoulder.

“be serious.” he let out a hearty laugh.

“ok but what are we doing here? it’s late.”

“you remember that one night you told me if i let you teach me the hockey stop, i could teach you one of my own moves?” he groaned and let his head fall back.

“i thought you forgot about that.”

“i did.” you shrugged. “‘till i didn’t.”

“do we have to?” he pouted.

“yes, now stop being a baby. it’ll be easy, i promise.” you led him to the middle of the rink and let go. “ok, watch me.” you began skating away, once far enough you put one leg out. eventually putting it down you turned back to your boyfriend. “easy, right?”

“sure.”

“now you do it.” he began skating forward but as soon as he put his leg up, he stumbled forward, quickly catching himself. you crouched over laughing.

“it’s not funny, Y/N/N.”

“yes it is.” you laughed even harder, he huffed. “ok, ok, i’m sorry, try again.” he kept trying, sometimes stumbling. he complained a lot along the way, asking if you two could just leave. you wouldn’t let him give up, you kept pushing until he finally got it.

“was there a point to this?”

“of course.” you skated from your spot to him, grabbing him and pulling him along with you. beginning to gain speed, you pressed your back to his and placed his hands on your waist. you leaned forward, kicking your leg out as you skated, Suguru watched and knew what you wanted him to do. he did just the same as you, your bodies lined up together and you skated around half the rink like that. putting your leg down to stop you looked at him. “see, i had a point.”

“yeah but my point is better.”

“you didn’t even make a point.”

“yeah i did.”

“then what’s your point?”

“this.” he grabbed your jaw between his hand and planted his lips on yours. he parted your lips with his own and slipped his tongue into your mouth, you moaned around him. cupping the back of your head, he slowly inched you down until you were both lying on the floor. he kissed from your mouth to your neck, unbuttoning your shirt slowly, he trailed his fingertips along your body. his hands ran along the hem of your skirt before he slipped it under the garment. his finger circled your clit and slid down to your entrance. he circled it and felt you flutter before he slid one into you, you moaned when he entered another. you were so wet, soaking his entire hand as he fucked it in you, he stopped just as you felt your orgasm approaching.

“hey!” you whined at him.

“i know, i know. i’ll make it up to you.” he began suckling small marks into the skin and trailing them down your body. leaving kisses down your body as you heaved at the affection. he licked into your belly button before looking at you. “you’re so pretty.”

“you tell me all the time.”

“just making sure you know.” he leaned down to unlace both your and his skates and threw them somewhere across the rink. his hand slithered up your thigh and he gripped the stockings you were wearing under your skirt. “these are so dumb.” before you could reply, you heard the loud rip of the fabric.

“Suguru!” you yelled at him, “i have to wear these out of here!”

“it’ll be fine.”

“they’re my favorite pair.” you pouted.

“i’ll get you some more, ok?”

“fine.” he moves down your body once more, now coming face to face with the wet spot on your panties. he ran his finger over and pushed into your hole slightly, collecting more wetness on the fabric. he pulled your panties to the side. he breathed against your skin, your pussy fluttering as you felt it. he licked your clit, his piercing running over it quickly. he dove straight into it. wasting no time he began waiting at you like a man starved. your back arched off the ice, fingers tangling in his hair, you pulled on it roughly and he moaned into you. you guided his head up and down in you, his tongue dragging over your clit, his piercing rubbing over it. he looked up to you and the sight above him was beautiful, your mouth was dropped open and your chest was arched off the floor. one of his hands began to run circles over your hole, he slipped two fingers in you. you moaned as his fingers rubbed your walls, his tongue piercing rolled over your engorged clit and your voice broke as you cried out his name.

his fingers began to fuck into you faster and he went from licking your clit to sucking on it. an orgasm was building up quickly and you couldn’t fight it off. “Sugu, i’m gonna cum.” ever since the two of you got together, Suguru spent his time learning your body, learning what made you tick and twitch. your hips began bucking up in his face, his other hand came up to hold you down. his palm pushed you back against the floor, making sure you couldn’t squirm away from him. he sucked on your clit harder, your stomach clenched and your toes curled. “Sugu!” your things trembled and you cried as you came, you shook as Suguru kept sucking, his fingers stilled inside of you pressing into your walls instead.

“give me another.” he murmured softly, he began sucking on your clit again. you panted, gripping his head harder, pressing him more into you. you clenched around his fingers harder and before you could warn him, you were squirting all over his face. he gulped it down happily, drinking from you like he was a parched man and you a fountain. he sat up and smiled at you, your juices dripping from his chin. you sighed as he let up, body relaxing into the floor. “i love it when you do that.”

“i don’t.”

“why.” he whined like a petulant child.

“it takes a lot out of me. take your pants off.” he obliged, sliding them to the middle of his thighs.

“you’re bossy,” he joked.

“you like it.” he nodded his head with a smirk on his face, he does like it, you’re the only person who can put him in his place. he lifted your legs and wrapped them around his waist, his body engulfed yours, wrapping his arms around and you cradling your head as his body bent over yours. he lined his tip up with your entrance. he groaned as he pushed into you, your walls fluttered around him and you took him inch by inch. you turned your head to him searching for his lips. “Sugu.” you whispered, he turned to face you and you pressed your lips to his. he began thrusting into you, your lips moved against each other, you sucked on his tongue and his eyes rolled back. his moan vibrated through your head, you took the ball of his piercing into your mouth, rolling your tongue over it and biting the metal playfully.

“you’re so big.” you rested your head on the ice, your ass was pressed against it. the tights were ripped around your thighs, your panties pulled to the side rubbing against Sugurus cock as he fucked you.

“you’re so tight,” he moaned. “fuck, i love you.” your eyes widened. that was the first time he ever said it to you. his thrusts slowed down and grew deeper, he went from slutting you out to fucking you passionately. “i love you.” he pressed his lips to yours, his hand that was cradling your head tangled into your hair, pulling at it to make you look at him. his tongue ran over your lips, opening them and sliding it into your mouth. you took a minute to kiss him back, your eyes stayed open as he kissed you. his pelvis rubbed directly on your clit and your eyes crossed. he cock continuously rubbed your g-spot, his tip nudged your cervix. you panted and moaned into his mouth, he breathed you in, soaking up every sound that escaped your lips.

“i’m gonna cum.” you whimpered.

“me too.” the kiss between you two grew sloppy, less of a kiss and more of a combination of tongues and slobber. everything was so wet, your face with his spit, your body with sweat, in between your legs with his precum and your arousal. “i’m gonna cum in this tight pussy, gonna fill you up. wanna watch you grow, watch your stomach get bigger causa me.” you moaned at his words, who knew Suguru Geto had a breeding kink? “tell me.” he bit your lip. “tell me you want it. you want my kids.”

“fuck, i want it.” you sobbed, back arching to his chest.

“you want it? wanna be a mommy? gonna make me a daddy?”

“yes! gonna make you a daddy, want you to make me a mommy.” you slurred, words stringing together.

“you’re gonna be such a pretty mommy, princess, gonna have the cutest kids.” he lifted his face to look into your eyes. he gripped your chin, making you look at him. “look at me when you cum, keep your eyes open.” you tried but your eyes rolled back into your head. he landed quick gentle slaps to your face “open ‘em.” your mouth dropped open, you tried to tell him you were close but all that came out were garbled words. “i know, pretty girl, you’re so close.” he mocked. “gonna cum all over me? make a mess? let it go.” you cried out as you came, voice cracking from the volume. “there it is, let it out for me.” your legs shook with your orgasm, your back arched and fell with tremors. “i’m gonna cum.” his thrust faltered, one, two, three more before he filled you up. there was so much of it that you swore you could see your stomach expanding with each rope.

“Sugu, there’s so much.”

“fuck, i know.” it seeped out around him, dripping from you down his balls. he pulled out of you, wincing as the coldness of the rink met his cock. he laid next to you, sprawling out on the ice. “i meant it.” you looked at him. “i know what you’re thinking, i meant it. i wouldn’t have said it if i didn’t.” you sighed with relief.

“i love you too.” he smiled so wide you thought it would stick to his face. “did you mean the other thing?”

“what? making you a mom?” you nodded. “fuck yeah.” he laughed. “you’d look hot as a mom.”

“Suguru!”

“what?! you would. and i’d get to watch it. getting hard jus’ thinkin’ bout it.”

“you’re gross.” your face turned up jokingly.

“maybe but it’s more than that. i want that with you, i want kids with you, wanna have everything with you.”

“i want it too.”

“really?”

“yeah but it might be too early right now.” you turned on your side, laying your head on his chest. “how about… meeting my grandfather next saturday?”

“ok. is he gonna kill me?”

“probably.”

“fuck.”

----------------

THIS TOOK FOREVER!! i was supposed to have this out weeks ago but it's out now! i hope you enjoyed. likes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

@shadowthief78 @alittlepuppyslut @leave-rae-alone @sugurusprettygirl @kissyblake-uwu @blubearxy @moonlithavensworld @deanzelly @xxharumixx @httpghostface @enhypen-scholarship @breeziebetty @3xv5s @iwannachokeontojifushiguroscock @ilovemydogsimon @jellyamour @secretanimesimp @literallynothingandnobody @morganadorodo @shiroganekagami @mmeerraa @lunairiki @saccharine-nectarine @deepinballs @boba-is-a-soup @localgaytrainwreck @bootlegroach @r0ses4ndlilies @shoyos-sugarbaby @sativaxc @spam-love @sh0rtccakee @onlypickless @nishii28 @missgab @anastasijaiwaizumi @strawberry-hyacinth @ynmnln @flrdete @megmercury @bforbiblio @hwanin @reinersweiner @childof-iluvatar @toijisdilfdaddy @doniveatry @cursedwings2005 @liaurokodaki @vixensbrainrotts @pillowow @beelzmunchkin @idkkk343 @xoxohyuniin09 @fartzalot @ghostlillah @diiaicar @vampl-sh @bffrrufr @jay-mach @firstwarmdayofbluespring @svtkiss

#getou suguru x y/n #geto x you #geto suguru x reader smut #geto suguro x reader #geto suguru smut #suguro geto #geto smut #geto x reader #geto suguru #geto x y/n #jjk geto

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missnxthingg · 4 months

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I CAN'T LIE TO YOU ✮ LN4

pairing: Lando Norris x bestie!Reader (childhood best friends to lovers) summary: Lando Norris decides to surprise his best friend after being a long time away from home. What she didn't expect was that he had a big secret that he couldn't share with her words: 4.5K - warnings: swearing, suggestive content & not proof read author's notes: I'm back once again! Now you just know I'm a sucker for childhood besties to lovers. Also, I may have already started writing a part two for this one... let me know if you want it!

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The days in England have become more boring with time. Y/N was losing her mind over the repetitive routine that follows the life of a college student. Work, study, beer with close friends and bed. So when her mother invited her for a family dinner, she worried about how excited she got with the event. It wasn’t supposed to be anything special, just her parents and a few of their close friends gathered to catch up over nice food.

Coming home felt way too good. It’s a feeling most college students get when they go back to their hometown, leaving their crappy flat in university to be served with their parents pampering during their quick visit. Y/N was supposed to be back to her place in just a couple of days, but she felt satisfied to be in a different place than the four walls of her house. Not to mention that she was having a good laugh with everyone at the table.

Her mother always takes dinner parties to another level, serving the best food in her special crockery, saved for moments like this. So Y/N packed a nice new outfit; a cute long-sleeved dress that looked perfect with tights and heels. Not that the guests cared about how she was dressed, but it felt nice to look beautiful and all put together for once after months of hoodies and leggings.

As usual, her parents invited the Norris family, as they’ve been the best of friends for the longest time. Not only they lived next to each other for years back when she was younger, all of their kids were really close friends with Y/N. But the spotlight always goes to Lando, who is the same age as her, making them grow up attached to the hip.

They all grew up going to the same school, not to mention that she would always tag along in Lando and his brother’s karting sessions, having the best time watching them drive flawlessly on tracks. He always enjoyed the times when she’d steal her parents cameras so they could make some homemade videos of their time together. Or when they would sit back, watch their dads play golf every Saturday and share candies in the cart.

Y/N and Lando have been inseparable since the age of four, growing up side by side, going through everything together. She was so important to him that, when he joined Formula 1 and had to choose a number to race, he chose the age the two of them had become friends.

“The number four is for my best friend, Y/N. She was the one to suggest it, and the meaning behind it is very cute. Actually, I don’t want to tell you to not spoil anything, but I can only say that it’s very dear to my heart”, Lando said once in an interview during his second season in F1, making every single one of his fans curious about the meaning.

But it’s been a while since the infamous duo had been together. They supported each other from afar; Y/N sometimes joining him for race weekends and Lando coming back to see her on birthdays and weekends in London, while he visited the McLaren factory. But the last time they had been together was four months ago, during summer break, when he dragged her to join him for his crazy trips around the world. When racing and university was back on, they lost a little bit of touch; almost no calls and only a few texting breaks so they wouldn’t fall apart.

A lot happened in those four months. Lando had a new gorgeous girlfriend; a model who everyone had become obsessed with her TikTok videos for beauty tips. They had been seen together a few times around the world, her joining him for the races and a lot of make-outs behind DJ booths at parties. Y/N, on the other hand, was lacking in the dating department. But the friends she made over the past year made everything worthy. After years of pretty much having Lando as her only very close friend, she finally found new people to go out and have fun as a normal 20-year-old.

With that, Y/N and Lando’s friendship got weird. He had been avoiding her for a while, with the excuse of being too busy with racing, but actually not wanting to talk about his personal life with someone who knew him like the palm of her hand. Meanwhile, she was having a good time with her friends to be bothered by anything. But lately, life had become more boring and Y/N felt like having Lando back would bring some more fun into her life again, with all the epic parties and the good times they always managed to happen.

“Only one month left”, she thought, as winter break was approaching, meaning that Lando would finally be free to come home for the holidays.

She was pushed out of her thoughts by Adam Norris, who now seemed interest in Y/N’s life after a long catching up with her dad. “Tell us more about college! Are you having fun? Learning anything special?”, he asked with a kind smile.

“Oh, I’m graduating this spring, so it’s been… rough”, she chuckled. “But everything has been amazing, you know? The internship is so cool and the people are nice as well”.

“I just can’t believe it will all be over soon”, his wife, Cisca, responded. “It feels like it was just yesterday when you joined uni and Lando started his first season in F1. Time really flies, uhm?”

Every mention of his name made Y/N smile like a fool. But lately, it has been accompanied by a ting of pain on her chest. God, she missed him so much.

“What is it that you miss?”, Cisca asked, pulling Y/N out of her thoughts. Shit, did she say that out loud?

“I said I missed your pie so much, Cis. You know I have always loved it growing up”, Y/N tried to cover it up by stuffing her mouth with the cheesy pie, trying to keep her thoughts of being spoken out loud. But something caught her by surprise.

“Yeah, mum’s pie is the best in the world, isn’t it?”, a male voice said from behind her, one that she hadn’t heard in person for a while. Her eyes widened when she realized who it was, only to turn around and see Lando standing right behind her tugged into his signature comfortable hoodie, with a giant smile plastered on his face, and a bouquet in his hands. “Surprise!”

Y/N brought her hands up to her mouth, trying not to cry at the sight. She couldn’t believe what was standing in front of her. So she jumped out of her seat and jumped into his arms, not caring about anyone else in the room or the flowers being crumpled up in his hands. Lando buried his nose in her hair, taking in her scent, making him feel at ease for once

“What are you doing here?”, she leaned back, holding his face between her hands. His soft eyes looked down at her, his smile never faltering.

“I thought I could surprise my best girl”, he admitted, digging one of his hands into her hips, making her securely close to him. “I had a break before the end of the season, and it had been so long…”

“Shut up, you idiot. I just want to hug you”, she cut him mid-sentence, burying her face in his neck, making his smile even wider, if that was possible. Everyone on the table laughed at her reaction, but let them have their moment after months without seeing each other. It felt too good to be true.

“I missed you so much”, he whispered in her ear, pressing a small kiss to the top of her head.

“I missed you too. Welcome home, Lan”, she leaned back and kissed his cheek, making it tinted red. Lando was so cute when he blushed. “You brought me flowers! How cute is this?”

She took the giant bouquet filled with red and pink roses out of his hands, bringing it close to her body. “It’s an apology for not being here as much as I should”, he said, making her heart so warm with the thoughtful gift.

“You being here is enough”, she pressed another kiss to his cheek and quickly pulled him for another hug. They just couldn’t get enough of each other.

“Alright, we all know you both really miss each other, but you can catch up after dinner. Food is getting cold and poor Lando must be starving”, her mother cut them off, making Y/N look back at the table, her face burning in embarrassment. He laughed at her behavior and pulled the chair next to her so they could sit together.

Through the whole dinner, Lando told all of his amazing stories traveling the world, leaving all the ‘best friends only’ parts for later, when he would be alone with Y/N. She felt so happy to finally have him by her side, making fun of her table manners, resting his hand on her knee and cracking any bad jokes just to see her roll her eyes. And even though he lived those many adventures, Lando knew life couldn’t get better than having his favourite person in the world back on his side.

“So, Lando, what finally brings you back home?”, Y/N’s father asked, making him shrug.

“You know, the championship could’ve been better and I feel really tired, you know?”, Lando searched for his best friend’s hand under the table, entwining their fingers once they met. Then he looked at her with an adoring smile on his face. “I just need some recharging. Thought I could use some home time before the last few races of the year”.

“You’re always welcomed to recharge in our house if you want to, Lando”, her mother said before the conversation was taken somewhere else once again.

While everyone else chatted, Y/N and Lando updated their phone gallery with new pictures of them. A lot of cute selfies and pictures of their homemade dinner which soon found their place on their Instagrams.

y/username

liked by landonorris and 3,419 others

y/username: always feels good to have my best friend back in the house

tagged: landonorris

landonorris Besties reunited LFG!

↪ y/username you’re such a bore

fanacc1 FINALLY SOME Y/N AND LANDO CONTENT

fanacc2 Wasn’t him dating a model?

↪fanacc3 He is, but Y/N is his childhood best friend

fanacc4 ugh, if i was his gf, i would be so jealous of them together

↪fanacc5 I bet his girlfriend actually hates them

fanacc6 Does this mean more Y/N around the paddock?

The dinner was coming to an end with the delicious sweet treats they prepared for dessert. At that point, Lando and Y/N were just existing at the conversation. He slipped an arm around her shoulder and she found a comfortable spot to lean into him and keep sipping on her wine while they shared a slice of cake. But even though they were quiet, they surely weren’t tired. So as the rest of the adults continued with their chat, they took their glasses of wine to the backyard, just so they could have some alone time.

Lando chuckled when he saw what was still standing strong in her backyard. “You still have our old treehouse?”, he asked and she nodded excitedly. “Wow, it looks so much nicer than before”.

“It’s because I renovated it, you fool. Haven’t I told you?”, she asked, but Lando shook his head. “Oh my… you have to see this! Now it’s a grown up treehouse! Take a look”.

Y/N dragged him to the small construction and made him climb all the way up to the house. It changed a lot with the renovations. Their wall doodles from when they were little kids were preserved by a varnish coat on the wood. She also substituted the old toys for books and her collection of vinyls, making the place look extra cozy. There was even a table for afternoon tea and card games, a TV and a huge futon, with lots of cushions, so they could just lie down and spend the rest of the day hidden from the world.

“What a glow up!”, he joked. “I loved it. This is amazing”, Lando took a place next to the window, where the moonlight invaded the room. Y/N sat next to him and almost immediately pulled out her camera just to capture the moment. And just like old times, they had fun doing a tiny photoshoot together, only to be cut off by his mom, calling them from the ground.

“Are you coming, Lando?”, Cisca asked, making him look over to Y/N, who replied for him.

“I’m not letting him go anywhere, Cisca”, she joked, throwing her arms around Lando, making his mother laugh. “Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of your son”.

“Have fun you two”, they waved at her and sighed after finally being left alone for a proper catching up between best friends. Lando had a satisfied smile on his face and he felt so calm at that moment. He threw both of his arms around his best friend and hugged her tightly.

“Home, at last”, his cheek was pressed on the side of her face, making her giggle with the contact. “I want to know everything going on with you. Just blurt it all out. I owe you this”.

“Oh, nothing great happened”, she shrugged. “Nothing that you didn’t know already. The internship is nice, but it’s coming to an end soon and I’m not sure they’ll keep me with them. And college is almost finished, so that’s kind of bittersweet”.

“I thought you were excited to have a degree”, he said, making her sigh. “Are you not happy about graduating?”

“Of course I am. You more than anyone knows how important this is to me”, she answered. “And I made so many good friends and I’ve been having the best time with them. I know graduating will make us grow apart”.

“Endings aren’t always nice, uhm? But you have to look at the bright side of things”, he started. “You’re finally achieving something great and you managed to have a really good time along the way. Made friends and worked really hard to become the best professional out there. I’m so proud of you!”

Lando has always been her biggest supporter on pursuing her academic path. He remembers all the talks they had about her wanting to master in communications. While he didn’t get to finish school to up his game in racing, he was there for every step his best friend took until enrolling in university. So when they talk about it, he always has that beautiful proud smile on his face, to which Y/N loved seeing.

“Thank you”, she smiled shyly. “And what about you, Mr Worldwide? You’ve been everywhere these past months. How was it?”

“Oh, always amazing”, he beamed. “I got to see so many amazing places around the world. You would’ve loved all the clubs I went to. The DJ booths are amazing. Oh, and the golf courts… breathtaking”.

“Yeah, I saw all the pictures”, Y/N arched her brows and rolled her eyes. “You didn’t even bother on calling, telling me about your adventures”.

“Sorry, I lacked in that department”, he apologized. “Even though everything has been amazing, I’m so tired of this year. I could’ve done better on the track and the last few races have been exhausting. I knew that I needed to recharge before the last two races, so I came back to you”.

“It’s always a pleasure to have you home”, she ran her hand through his curls and smiled. Lando always saw Y/N as his home. She always brings him that sense of familiarity, and her absence in his travels around the world were taking a toll on him.

Not to mention that hiding a big secret from his best friend also wasn’t doing him any good.

“But I’m not here to talk about me. I want to know everything about you”, he poked her side with his index finger and smirked. “Anyone special appeared in your life in the past few months?”

“Please”, she rolled her eyes. “The last time I had a proper hook up was during our summer trip to Bali with that guy on the club”.

“Come on, it can’t be that bad”, he giggled, but Y/N’s face was burning in embarrassment.

“I had a few dates in the past months, but fuck me, they were annoying”, Lando laughed at her statement. “One of them found out you’re my best friend and spent the entire time asking questions about you. And the only guy who was actually decent came in his pants when we were making out in his car. Didn’t even get to touch me”.

“Oh, poor you”, he giggled. “So no boy to be my new best friend? I mean, come on, we need more male energy in this friendship”.

“Sorry, Lan. No boyfriend this time”, she said. “You, on the other hand, started dating this gorgeous model and forgot to tell me about everything.”

And there she said it: the topic Lando had been avoiding the most throughout the whole night. He really didn’t want to talk about it with Y/N, because his big secret had been hiding right there. He knew he couldn’t, and didn’t want to, lie about anything to her. And he also knew that he really needed to vent about this secret with her as well.

Lando turned really quiet, and looked away, avoiding her eyes. “Don’t start now, Y/N. I mean, there’s not much to say, to be fair”, he mumbled.

“Come on, I want to know everything about the woman who stole my bestie’s heart”, she poked him, but Lando didn’t dare to look Y/N in the eyes. “I mean, everybody loves her and she seems sweet. Why don’t you want to tell me about her?”

“Because we’re not together”.

“What do you mean? I’ve seen the Instagram pictures and the gossip pages posting videos of you two kissing in the club. I thought you were becoming a thing”.

“Y/N, don’t push it”, he asked, his voice bargaining on his throat.

“Why don’t you want to tell me about her?”

“Because we’re not together, I told you”, he sighed. “She’s a PR stunt. She’s not my girlfriend, and it’s been consuming me from the inside ever since we started this little thing”.

Lando finally looked her in the eyes and Y/N saw them brimming with tears. As an immediate response, she rested a hand on his arm and waited until he was ready to talk more. He leaned into her touch and the tears started to stream down his face. He’s never one to cry for anything, so the tears meant that it was so much more than he was letting show. Her heart broke at the sight of her best friend.

“Is this why you look more tired than usual?”, Y/N asked and he nodded, making the tears fall harder. “Oh, Lan… Come here”.

She pulled his head to rest on her chest and Lando wrapped his arms around her, needing some sort of comfort. He didn’t say much for a couple of minutes after, feeling his heart aching on his chest. He wanted to talk about everything with Y/N, because he knew she would understand him. He always feels vulnerable and safe enough to talk about anything with his best friend.

“Everything is so fucked up, Y/N”, Lando cried out. “God, I can’t take this fake relationship anymore. Do you know how disgusting it feels to pretend to be in love with someone you’re not? And to lie to everyone, hiding it from my parents. From you. I can’t stand it”

“I’m sure you have a good reason to be doing so”, she said, fingers running through his curls and making him sure that she was right there with him. Y/N felt his fingers clinging tighter onto her. “You’re just doing your job and that’s okay. This won’t last forever”.

“I feel so lonely, you know? I was doing so bad on the last few races and I missed home so much. I missed talking to my dad and hugging my mom. I missed making fun of my sisters and going for a drive with my brother. And I missed you so much. I wish I could just stay here for a long while”.

“Soon you’ll get to be here for as long as you want, baby”, Y/N pressed a kiss on top of his head and Lando sighed in comfort. It ached a little less with her there. “And we’ll get to spend so much time together. You can come over and we’ll have sleepovers. We can take the car, drive around and go clubbing until sunrise. Whatever you want”.

“God, it would be so easy if it was you”, he whispered, still holding onto her as if his life depended on it. What did he mean with that? Just those single words made Y/N’s heart skip a beat. Truth is, while her heart ached for her best friend, she was relieved he’s not in love with someone else. Did he have feelings for her?

“You know, I looked over my so-called girlfriend one night while we were hanging out at the club and I wanted to shout to everyone that it was all an act. She’s like a solid reminder of how lonely I am all the damn time. It’s ridiculous”, he grunted.

“Come on, look at me”, Y/N pulled his face to look up and held his head between her hands. “Lan, you are never alone, okay? Even if you feel like you are, and even if I’m not there physically, you know that I’m always with you. I’m right here”, she rested a hand over his heart, making him smile through his tears. “I've been in your heart since the moment we met”.

“I…”, he started, but couldn’t get to say the rest. After all this time, Lando was afraid that the next move would ruin their friendship forever. But looking her in the eyes, comforting him through this rough time, he knew she felt the same. “I love you, Y/N”.

She was expecting anything. ‘I know’, maybe. That was so much bigger than what she imagined. Lando had said he loved her countless times over the years they’ve known each other; after all, they grew up together, almost like brother and sister. But this time, it was different. Y/N knew it, and Lando knew it too.

Y/N was too stunned to speak, so he continued with his confession. “I always have, you know? And I only hid everything from you because I can’t lie to you. And because I thought you’d never look at me the same way if you found out”.

“Lando, I…” she stopped mid-sentence, trying to catch some air. “Fuck, this is a lot. Just wait a second”.

They giggled together and he leaned his forehead against hers. “It’s okay to not say anything right now. I just dropped a giant bomb on your lap. This wasn’t the way I wanted to confess to you, but I just couldn’t keep it to myself anymore”.

“Are you saying this because you’re emotional? Because I swear to God, if you are, I’m gonna kill you for misleading me”, her eyes were brimming with tears and Lando whipped them away.

“I’m telling you the truth”, he assured. “I think I’ve loved you my entire life. With all the crazy things I’ve experienced in my life, you were the only constant. You’re home, Y/N”.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”, she asked and he took a deep breath.

“Because I was afraid of losing you. Scared this might ruin our friendship somehow”, he admitted. “You’re the most precious thing in my life. Do you know how scary it is to fall in love with your best friend when you’re just a kid? And then grow up, and those feelings never go away, just getting stronger every day. I just didn’t want to lose you”.

“You weren’t going to lose me, Lan”, her eyes softened at his confession and now he was the one wiping her tears. Y/N brought him back for a hug and even though he didn’t have an answer, deep down he knew she felt the same.

“I’ve loved you since we were four. There’s a reason why I always carry this number with me”, Lando confessed. “God, look what you do to me. I never cry”.

“You only cry for the important things”, she reminded. “That’s why I love you, Lando. I’ve been in love with you for my entire life too, idiot”.

His eyes widened as he looked up to her, who had a smirk plastered on her face. “Can I kiss you?”, Lando asked, but before she could properly shake her head in agreement, he crashed his lips into hers. He needed to be home, and Y/N has always been home for him. It was the most intense kiss they ever had, like years of lingering had finally paid off for both of them.

Lando pulled her closer with a hand on the back of her head. She wrapped her fingers around his neck, smiling into his lips. Then, as if it wasn't enough, he pulled her to sit on lap, making them closer somehow. She slowed down the pace, making the kiss needier and more delicious. Lando even let out a satisfied throaty moan, his heart speeding on his chest. Her touches made him feral, knowing that after years of pinning, he finally had his dream girl.

“Thank you for this”, he whispered against her lips, a wide and satisfied smile on his face. “Thank you for all the years, all the times you've been here for me, to tell me everything is going to be alright.”

“Always, Lan”, she played with the hairs on his nape. “I love you so much”.

“I love you too. So much”, he left one more peck on her lips before hugging her again. “I don't know what I'd do without you”.

“Yeah, me too”.

The story of how they fell in love with each other was long, but beautiful. Lando and Y/N sat in that tree house all night and shared all of those stories with each other. And for a second, he really believed everything was going to work out. After all, if he had Y/N, Lando would be just fine.

❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁

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pathologicalreid · 4 months

Text

the archer | S.R.

in which a trip to your hometown leads to an exposed past and a wrongful arrest, you can't help but wonder who could stay

who? spencer reid x fem!BAU!reader

category: angst

content warnings: normal cm violence/death. mentions of sexual assault and physical assault. mentions of miscarriage and dv. arson/fires. please take care of yourself while reading <3.

word count: 5.96k

a/n: if you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, the US hotline is 800-799-7233. be well and be safe.

can you see right through me?

Emily had called you into her office fifteen minutes before the briefing began to let you know that the case was in your hometown. “There are some things that may come to light in a small town, and I wanted to let you know that you can stay behind if you need to,” she told you, having shut the blinds to her office to give you the most privacy she could.

Giving it a moment, you thought about it before you met her eyes, “if someone tries to say something, I’d rather be there to clear things up than let them say anything.” You wiped your clammy palms on your plants before standing up, “and besides, who better to work on victimology than someone who knows the town.”

You stepped out of the office, holding the door open for Emily before the two of you made your way to the roundtable room.

The two victims had been killed a week apart, they were both women who you had gone to school with. The first was in your graduating class, Victoria Reynolds, kidnapped, sexually assaulted, and asphyxiated. The second was a year ahead of you, Melanie Baylor, kidnapped, sexually assaulted, and asphyxiated. The team had been called in by the lead detective on the case, Charlie Platten, and he had likely made the call without telling the police chief.

It had already been three days since the second body was recovered, and Emily didn’t want to waste any more time. You left the roundtable room to grab your go-bag, smiling when you felt a familiar presence next to you. “Are you alright?” Spencer asked, leaning against your desk while you reached underneath it for your bag.

Stepping in front of him, you looked up at him, “I’m okay, Spence.” You plopped your go bag on top of your desk, “it’ll be okay,” you whisper.

“And if at any point it’s not,” he prompted, placing a hand on your waist.

You simpered up at him, “You’ll be the first person I go to, love.”

He reached over and grabbed your bag off of your desk, carrying it to where the rest of the team is waiting for the elevator. “I’ll admit, I am interested in seeing your hometown,” he told you, letting you step into the elevator before him.

“Yeah, Y/N, maybe you can show us some of your old haunts once we solve the case,” Luke chimed in from the back of the elevator.

Laughing breathily, you turned your head to face Luke, “Do I really strike you as the kind of person to have ‘old haunts’, Alvez?”

A few of your team members chuckle. You faced forward, wondering how long it would be before one of them saw through you. When working with profilers, it was always a risk.

'cause all of my enemies started out friends

Emily sent you and Luke to the latest crime scene while she and Spencer set up at the precinct. JJ and Matt met with the latest victim's family while Tara and Rossi met with the medical examiner. Your stomach felt unsettled as soon as the plane landed, you had a bad feeling about this case. Spencer tried to ask you what was going on with you, but you just brushed him off.

You would tell him. After this case was over and you went home, you would tell Spencer everything. He deserved that.

“Did you know her?” Luke asked, using a gloved hand to inspect a shard of glass he found on the concrete.

Blinking rapidly, you snapped out of your stupor, “Melanie? Yeah, she was a year ahead of me in school. I graduated with Victoria though.” You used the toe of your boot to clear some dirt off of what looked like some sort of plaque. “I wasn’t all that close with either of them, but in a town this small, you kind of know everyone,” you explained.

Standing back up and walking back over to Luke, you looked at the building, it’s an abandoned factory on the edge of town. “Is there any significance to this building?”

“It was a functioning factory in the eighties,” you explained, looking at the vines growing up the side of it. “This business was the entire economy of the town, when the factory went down, so did the town.”

Luke nodded, taking a step back and eyeing the entire decrepit building. “And the church? Where the first body was found.”

You pursed your lips, “Only church in town, I was baptized there, when it burned down people had nowhere else to go, so they stopped believing.”

“How did the fire start?” He asked, turning the knob on the factory door, and looking surprised when it opened.

You shrugged, “lightning strike, I thought. I wasn’t much of a believer, especially once my mom died.”

Alvez nodded in understanding, “Would you say that both of these locations are important to the town and its history?”

Nodding, you followed Luke back to the SUV, leaning back in the passenger seat as you mentally prepared yourself for the scene your arrival at the precinct was about to cause.

When you got there, you immediately spotted the police chief ripping the lead detective, Charlie, a new one outside the front door. He saw you and did a double take, “And what the hell do you think you’re doing here?”

“Sir, we’re members of the BAU, our-“ Luke started explaining, obviously confused at the chief’s combative nature.

He held up a hand, “I wasn’t talking to you, agent.” Turning to face you, “You don’t show your face at home, leaving in the middle of the night ten years ago and now you’re what? A big bad FBI agent?”

You stiffened, pushing your shoulders back as you faced him. Stand tall, stay strong. “It wasn’t the middle of the night, and the FBI is only big and bad to the people who deserve it, Frank.”

The man in front of you scoffed, “I’m talking to your supervisor, you’re not working on this case.” He pushes past you, causing you to stumble back against the wall.

“What was that about? Who was that guy?” Luke asked, looking at you as you got your bearings back before walking into the precinct.

Bowing your head, you grumbled, “You just met my father.” At that moment, you were glad to be facing away from him, because you weren’t sure you could face any of it.

You’re still the newest member of the BAU, technically being a profiler but Emily pulled you in to help with public communications, since the old unit chief had been handling it along with Garcia, Emily did the same. When Spencer went to prison, she found she needed extra help, so you were snagged from your cozy office in sex crimes and sent to the BAU.

You fit in well with everyone, and you never really felt the need to prove yourself. Even taking the initiative to write letters to Spencer, because you didn’t want to be a stranger to him when he came back. So, when you met face-to-face last year, he thanked you. When you kissed him eight months ago, you both agreed to move slowly.

Seven months ago, he showed up at your door and told you he loved you.

Emily gave you an understanding look when she saw you walk into the police station, she, of course, knew everything about your situation.

“We don’t have enough for any sort of geographic profile yet,” Spencer said, standing in front of a whiteboard with a map over it, along with pictures of the two victims. He turned as soon as he saw you, smiling in a silent greeting. You winked in response, sitting down in the office chair next to him.

Luke stood in front of you, blocking your view of the whiteboard, “What do you mean that was your father? Why wouldn’t you say that your dad was the chief of police here?”

You shrugged, leaning back in the chair, “I may share DNA with the man, but I haven’t seen Frank Burris since I was twenty years old.”

“Doesn’t that bother you? Did she tell you?” Luke asked Spencer, who was still looking at the whiteboard, entirely unbothered.

“What did you find at the crime scene?” Emily asked, effectively ending Luke’s questioning. You had no idea if she had heard any of the previous conversation, but either way, you were grateful for the change in subject.

Taking a deep breath, you turned and faced her, “The dump sites are all places that are former symbols of the town, maybe the unsub wants to further desecrate these locations.” Emily nodded, prompting you to continue. “These kills are angry, the overkill and sexual assault definitely lean toward a male offender, I think the unsub is angry,” you said.

“Angry that his town is no longer what it once was,” Spencer suggested, taking his eyes off the whiteboard. “Are there any other locations that could fit that general description?”

Shaking your head, you crossed your arms over your chest, “Probably, I haven’t been here in ten years, it might help to talk to a local. Charlie could probably help.”

“Charlie can’t help with anything; the chief took him off the case. It belongs to me now,” a voice behind you said. Immediately, you straightened up in your chair, earning a strange look from Spencer. “Y/N, I’m looking forward to working with you,” the male voice said.

Swallowing thickly, you turned and faced him, “I wish I could say the same, Johnny.” You stood up, needing as much ground as you could get. “Do you know any places that would fit the description? Somewhere that used to be a symbol in the down, but is abandoned now?”

“The school burnt down about eight days ago, but you’d know that if you gave a damn about us,” he said indignantly, looking down at you.

You felt Spencer stand behind you, “do you have some kind of problem?”

Johnny eyed your boyfriend and you hoped he didn’t catch on to your relationship, “If I’m being totally honest, I’m not completely comfortable working with Y/N.”

“Our team was called in to help solve these murders and Agent Y/L/N is a part of that team,” Emily defended you. “If you have a problem, I suggest you suck it up until this case is solved.”

Angrily, Johnny stalked off. You turned around and grabbed a file off of the desk, glancing over at Emily and silently thanking her.

help me hold on to you

Later in your shared hotel room, Spencer looked at you curiously, “Was he an ex-boyfriend?”

You rolled your eyes and laid back on the bed, it wasn’t the worst bed you’ve slept in since joining the BAU, but it certainly wasn’t going to be winning any awards any time soon. “Don’t be jealous, Spence, it’s unbecoming," you deflected.

Spencer climbed on top of the bed and kissed your forehead, “I’m not jealous, I’m concerned.”

That made your heart clench, you sat up in the bed and cupped his face with your hands, “You don’t need to worry about me, okay?” You studied his face, the small crease in his forehead that told you he was overthinking the situation made you sigh. Gently, you leaned forward and placed a tender kiss on his forehead. “If I think you need to be concerned, I’ll tell you,” you whispered, allowing him to gather you in his arms.

“Okay, angel,” he whispered back.

You sighed and laid back against the pillows, “I have a bad feeling about this case,” you told him softly. Spencer doesn’t believe in intuition the way you do, but he’d never discredit your feelings.

He reached over and swept your hair behind your ear, “Me too.”

Pulling away from him, you looked at him curiously, “Why?”

He shrugged, “Both of them look like you. You’re the same age as them.” The victims, he was saying the victims were too similar to you for his own comfort. You hadn’t really given it much thought. If you start comparing yourself to the victims, you’d freeze up. That was a luxury you couldn’t afford.

“I’m not going anywhere, Spencer,” you comforted, curling up next to him.

i've been the archer, i've been the prey

The call came at five in the morning, only four hours after you had gone to sleep. Splitting up into two SUVs, half of you went to the precinct while the other half of you went to the crime scene.

“Katherine Meadows was dumped in front of the school,” Emily said, leading you, Tara, and Rossi into the precinct. You were still pulling your blazer on over your tank top, having been given approximately five minutes between waking up and getting out the door.

You stopped in your tracks; your mouth went dry. You knew of the other victims, but you were friends with Katherine. She helped you pay for your plane ticket out of here. You owed her your life, and now you’d never be able to repay her.

“What kind of school is it? Elementary? High school?” Rossi asked, flipping through a file that had been left on a desk.

Snapping out of your daze, you shook your head, “It’s K-12 all in the same building, that’s why it’s such a big deal that it’s gone.” You looked at the whiteboard, there weren’t any pictures of Katherine up yet, but you could imagine it. She looked more like you than the other victims, and you silently cursed Spencer for putting those thoughts in your head.

“Agent Y/L/N,” you heard Johnny call from behind you, he and your father were charging toward you at an alarming pace. “Are you armed?”

Your head snapped up, “yes,” you answered, putting your hand on your holstered weapon, watching as Johnny and Frank pulled their guns out.

“Please hand over your firearm to Detective Klein and put your hands up,” Frank commanded.

Taking a deep breath, you handed the weapon over to Johnny, facing him directly. It gave you tunnel vision, and you couldn’t even hear the protests of your team as you raised your hands level with your head.

Johnny grabbed your wrists, and you hissed as he cuffed you, the metal cutting into your skin when he made the handcuffs too tight. “Y/N Y/L/N, you’re under arrest for the murders of Victoria Reynolds, Melanie Baylor, and Katherine Meadows. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law.” He shoved you in the direction of the interrogation room, “You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you.”

An officer opened the door, and he pushed you down into a metal chair, hooking your handcuffs to the table in front of you.He continued reading your rights, “If you decide to answer questions without an attorney present, you will still have the right to cease answering at any time until you are able to talk to an attorney.” Johnny said, crossing his arms in front of his chest, “Do you understand your rights?”

You glared up at him, “What the hell are you doing, Johnny?”

He slammed a palm on the table, “Do you understand your rights?”

Pursing your lips, you looked away and peered right at the glass window ahead of you, “Yes, I understand my rights.”

“With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me?” He asked, leaning far too close to you, you could smell the cigarette smoke on his uniform. That smell was on you for years after you left, you were convinced you’d never be able to fully wash it off. Maybe you hadn’t.

You seethed up at him, “fuck no.”

Johnny nodded assuredly, opening the door to the interrogation room, and slamming it shut.

Taking a deep breath, you tried to pull the handcuffs away from where it was pinching your skin, you winced when it tore your skin. You set your head down on the cold table and sigh, knowing you should’ve taken Emily’s offer to stay behind when you had the chance.

Another officer came in later and told you they wanted your jacket and shoes for evidence, you didn’t fight them, numbly watching as he unlocked the handcuffs and took your jacket before putting the cuffs back on, just as tight. You kicked off your shoes for the officer and sat back down. Before he left, another officer came in and dropped an evidence box on the table.

It was an FBI scare tactic to leave an empty evidence box on an interrogation room table, but your box wasn’t empty.

They wanted to humiliate you in front of your team, and it was working.

all the king's horses, all the kings men, couldn't put me together again

The next people to open the door were Charlie and Tara, they sat down across from you. “I’m really sorry about all of this Y/N,” he muttered to you, pulling some files out of the evidence box.

You shrugged and shook your head, “Nothing Johnathan Klein does to me anymore really surprises me.” You looked at the files.

Charlie was hesitant to open the files, “there’s some rough stuff in here if you’re okay with going over some of it with us.”

Swallowing thickly, you looked at the file, “I don’t really have a ton of choice, do I?”

You hated both of them for pitying you, but more than anything you hated your father and Johnny for doing this to you and wasting time while there was a serial killer on the loose. He opened the file and placed pictures of the three victims in front of you.

For a couple of minutes, he asked general questions. Do you know them? How did you know them?

Then Tara finally asked a question, “Y/N, how old were you when your mother died?” She asked you, placing a photo of you and your mom in front of you. You were probably seven in the picture.

“Ten,” you answered, looking at the picture. You wondered if you could keep it once this was all over.

“When you were ten, you started a string of hospital visits that lasted until you were twenty years old. Broken ribs, concussions, fractures, and… a miscarriage,” Tara said, your eyes snapped up to look at her.

Your mouth went dry “You had Garcia unseal my files?” You couldn’t help the hurt in your voice.

The way Tara looked at you, you could tell she understood you in a whole new light now, “we had to. She felt horrible doing it.” That you didn’t doubt, the whole team had a mostly unspoken rule on inter-team profiling. You nodded understandingly.

“Y/N, do you have an alibi for the murders? We already cleared up that you weren’t working, but can anyone account for your whereabouts?” Charlie asked impatiently, he knew you didn’t do this, and it might not be his case anymore, but you could still tell he wanted it solved.

Looking directly at Tara, you answered the question, “No, I wasn’t with anyone.”

Your coworker set her jaw as Charlie got up and left.

“How did you get those injuries, Y/N?” Tara continued her line of questioning, setting a packet of medical records in front of you. You were still cuffed, so all you could do was touch the papers with your fingertips.

The paper read of chromosomes and a D&C, you couldn’t help the tears that flooded your eyes, “I- uh. I don’t want to look at that, please.”

Quickly, Tara pulled the papers away, “who hurt you?”

You bit your lip to stifle a cry, “Tara, please.” You knew what was going on, the only person who knew everything was retaliating against the precinct. They humiliated you, so she was going to humiliate them. She repeated the question and this time you answered, “My father.”

“Was your father also the father of your baby?” She asked, looking down at the papers. Honestly, she looked just about as uncomfortable as you were.

Solemnly, you shook your head, “That was Johnny. We were together from when I was fifteen until I was twenty. My dad-“ Your voice broke off, “Frank never touched me like that.”

“Can you tell me more about Frank?” She asked softly, the way she spoke to victims. The one thing you had tried to avoid.

Blearily, you looked up at your friend, “Can we take a break?”

Nodding, Tara stood up. When she opened the door, you heard shouting. People asking if your cuffs could be taken off. You just let your tears fall for a moment. Charlie came back and unlocked your cuffs, looking at the dried blood on them and the still bleeding wounds on your wrists, “I- I think we have a first aid kit somewhere.”

You brushed him off, waiting for him to leave and for Tara to come back. She did, draping a sweater over the table, and you tentatively grabbed it. Sighing when you recognized it as Spencer’s, “Has everyone seen the paperwork?”

She nodded slowly, “are you alright to talk to me about Frank now?”

You used your newly freed hands to wipe under your eyes before pulling the cardigan on. “It was my mom, she took everything he threw at her to protect me,” you whispered. “He hit me when I was ten, I had gotten a bad grade in social studies. So, my mom and I planned to leave, but he figured it out,” you said, furrowing your brows at the memory. “He strangled her, and she died. He told everyone she hung herself. The whole town believed him because he was the chief of police.”

Tara wrote something down, “he killed her in front of you?”

You nodded, “He needed someone else to take his aggression out on after that, so he beat me.” You told her, fiddling with the hem of Spencer’s sweater. “So, when I was fifteen and I met a boy, I thought I had found the answers to all of my problems, but I really had just discovered more.”

“The boy was Johnathan Klein?”

Affirming her question again, you continued your story, “he was a horny fifteen-year-old boy, and he had sex with me even when I begged him not to. He told me he had to because he loved me, and I believed him.”

Tara leaned over and looked you in the eyes, “You know that wasn’t your fault.”

“Wasn’t it?” You asked meekly, tilting your head to the side. “He proposed to me the day we graduated from high school. I had already accepted the fact that I was never getting out of the town, but what I didn’t know was by getting engaged to him I was very nearly signing my own death certificate.” You took a deep breath and tried to ignore the ache in your chest, “I found out I was pregnant when I was nineteen, and looking back at it now, I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner.”

Tara didn’t speak, she just listened. You supposed that was the psychologist in her, letting you take the lead in your own story.

You furrowed your brows as you tried to bring memories that you had spent so long burying to the surface. “I knew I couldn’t make my baby go through the same thing I went through, so I tried to run, but I didn’t get far. He found me, he beat me, he brought me to the hospital, and he told me I killed our baby.” You could see the story was bothering Tara. When you told Emily, you told her in pieces over the span of a month. “The only people I was allowed to see after that were my dad, Johnny, and Katherine.” You wiped tears from your face, “the judge wouldn’t grant me a restraining order, my only option was to run. So, when Kath showed up with a plane ticket and an envelope of cash, I took the opportunity and left.”

“Y/N, do you think these murders could be somehow connected to your upbringing here?” Tara asked, flipping through another file.

You looked back at the glass that separates the observation room, having no idea who was on the other side listening. “I didn’t until Reid said the victims looked like me,” you confessed. It felt too convenient, victims looking like you, you being framed for their murders. Yet, you still made sure not to call Spencer by his first name, afraid of giving yourself away. “Do they have any evidence?”

“They found soil from the factory crime scene on your shoes, but your jacket is still being processed. Without an alibi, we can’t get them to release you,” Tara said.

Rolling your eyes, you leaned back in the chair, “Of course, they found soil from the factory crime scene on my shoes, I was at the scene yesterday.”

The door opened and Frank stepped inside, “Your alibi spoke up.” He sounded irritated, but not as irritated as he’s going to be once the BAU is through with him.

i see right through me

Spencer had settled you down on a desk in the corner of the precinct, disinfecting the cuts on your wrists made by Johnny’s handcuffs. “I’m sorry,” you whispered, watching as he cleaned the debris from your torn skin.

He didn’t respond, he just shook his head. You could tell he was thinking, as clearly as if you could see gears physically turning in his head.

“Spence, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” you whispered, bending your neck to try to catch his eyes.

He shook his head again, “I’m not upset, not with you at least.”

You raised your eyebrows in suspicion, “Then stop getting so lost in thought. What’s bothering you?”

He clasped both of your hands in his own, setting them in your lap, “Does it feel like a coincidence to you that the same night Johnny told us about the school the woman who helped you escape an abusive relationship was found dead at that school?” Spencer dropped your hands, reaching into the first aid kit and pulling out bandages before gingerly wrapping your wrists. At work, you tried to keep the public displays to a minimum, but you felt like these were extenuating circumstances, which was why you had secluded yourselves in the corner.

“I need to look at the crime scene photos again,” you said, trying to get off of the desk.

Spencer firmly placed both of his hands on your hips, effectively keeping you in place. “Once I’m done,” he whispered, securing the bandages on your wrists. “Are you alright?”

You tilted your head up at him and smiled sadly, “Everyone learned a lot about me today. Some of it I had never intended on telling them. I just feel… exposed? Raw?” You searched desperately for the right word to use to describe exactly how you feel.

Hanging your head low, your eyes traced patterns in the carpet when Spencer hooked a finger gently under your chin and lifted your head, so you were looking at him. His honey-colored eyes searched your face, and you felt like he was looking right through you. “You know nothing that happened today makes any of us see you differently, right? I don’t think of you as any less of a person because of what I learned today.”

You shook your head, “You don’t learn those things about your girlfriend and look at her the same.”

“You’re right. I don’t look at you the same, I’m even more in awe of you now than I was before. The fact that you’ve been through what you’ve been through and you’re this bright, shiny person sitting in front of me is astounding, but…” His voice trailed off.

Here it was, he couldn’t want who you were. He didn’t want the heavy history that comes with you. You shut your eyes.

He cupped your face with his hands, “it makes me worry that maybe I haven’t been there for you enough. Not in the same way you’re there for me.”

“Spence,” you whispered, swallowing back your emotions, and looking up at him.

Spencer shook his head, “I love you, and I have to make sure that you know that I’m always going to be there when you need me.”

Nodding rapidly, you stood up and wrapped your arms around him, “I know.” Your voice was little more than a rasp, “I know, I love you too.”

After assuring Emily and Tara that your friendship was intact, you turned to the team. “I think I play a bigger part in this case than I realize.”

“We were just coming to a similar conclusion, once we saw what Katherine Meadows looked like, it just confirmed our suspicions,” JJ said, looking at the whiteboard, which now had Kath’s picture on it, as well as yours. “The whole town seems to have it out for you, though. How do we narrow down the suspect pool?”

You stepped up to the whiteboard, “Because it’s not about the locations and their relation to the town, it’s about the locations and their relation to me.” You pointed to the factory, “When I was fifteen, this was the first place Johnny ever assaulted me.”

“You said he proposed to you at your high school graduation, right?” Tara said, “That’s the connection to the school.”

Nodding, you continued, “And we were going to get married at the church.”

Spencer wrote this all down on the whiteboard as you fit the pieces of this puzzle together. “Is there anywhere else that would fit in with these other locations?”

Flipping through a file, you set papers down on the desk in front of your team. “That’s our house, it was set on fire not long after I left,” you pointed out. “That’s where he’s going next.”

“But who will his victim be? If we can get to her before he can, then we can stop him before he gets to her,” Matt mentioned.

Slowly, you turned around and faced your team, “I don’t intend on letting anyone else get hurt. This is between me and Johnny.”

who could stay?

You sat yourself down at the dining room table. Nothing in the house had been moved, its charred remains were left defenseless against Mother Nature. You knew this table, there was blood ground into the wood grain. It was your blood.

You wished they had torn the rest of the structure down.

Spencer didn’t like the idea of you going alone, but you were armed, and you had an earpiece in. You weren’t alone, the team was nearby in case things went wrong.

“Incoming, blue pick-up pulling into the driveway,” Luke said through the radio. “Suspect’s getting out, it doesn’t look like anyone’s with him.”

Realistically, you knew nothing was going to happen to you, but there was some small voice in the back of your head that told you something was going to go awry.

You wiped your sweaty palms on the floral-patterned chair. Part of you was grateful that the team had enough faith in you to send you to get a confession on your own, but another part of you wished someone would’ve asked you if this is really what you want to do. Sure, you wanted Johnathan Klein to be put away for a long time, but you didn’t want to be in this house. When you left, you had hoped you’d never have to set foot in this godforsaken town ever again.

Sitting up straight, the front door opened. You’re not sure why he opens the door when there’s a hole in the wall leading right to you. “I thought you might come looking for me,” he said, placing a hand on your shoulder. “I always knew you’d come back to me, baby,” Johnny spoke to you in a low voice, but you knew the team could hear.

“I didn’t come here for you, Johnny,” you whispered, keeping your voice steady. “I came for the girls who were murdered. I knew them, we both did,” you told him. That was the truth, you felt like you owed them because they died while you got to live.

He sat next to you, placing a hand on your knee. It was all you could do to not flinch away from him. “Then why did you bring that guy? If not to make me jealous, then why?”

“Johnny, if I go with you, will it stop?” You asked, turning to him, reaching out your hand, and placing it on his arm.

Humming, he reached out and brushed your hair behind your ear, luckily not the side where you had your earbud in. “I don’t know what you mean, babe. You’ll have to spell it out for me,” he said, pulling you to your feet abruptly. You didn’t see the knife when he first walked in, you didn’t even know he had it until it was to your throat.

But you weren’t twenty years old anymore. You had grown up. You had learned self-defense.

So, you caught him off guard when you hit him, causing the knife to clatter to the ground. “You bitch!” He growled, “I’ll fucking kill you!”

“You won’t kill me,” you said, planting your feet on the ground. “You had five years to kill me, Johnny.”

He stood up, “No, but I killed a part of you. Didn’t I? When I killed your baby?”

After all these years, he knew how to get under your skin. He got one hit off, across your cheek, the strike so hard that your earbud went flying across the room. “You killed the part of me that you created, that’s not who I am. I recreated myself, a version of myself without this godforsaken town.”

“But I got you here, back home. I killed all those girls for you to come back to me,” he said, running straight at you.

You hit him with your gun, you physically struck him with the butt of the gun. You could’ve shot him, it would’ve been clean, but you didn’t. That would’ve been easy for him. He dropped like a ragdoll and the rest of your team came rushing in. Someone was calling your name, but you couldn’t hear.

Matt ended up being the one who cuffed him, you slowly walked away from them. Backing yourself into a wall, you watched it all happen.

When you left your hometown, you never quite felt like it was over. He was always still going to be around. But this? This felt final.

It made your chest ache.

Gently, Spencer took your hand and led you outside. “It’s done?”

He nodded rapidly, “It’s over, angel. Emily and Luke are at the precinct taking Frank into custody. They’ll both go away for a long time.”

“Spence, I want to go home,” you whispered, looking down the road and seeing houses that you recognize from your childhood. This whole town was filled with your own ghosts. “Can we go home?”

Spencer didn't answer, he just pulled you into him and held you tightly. You let him inspect the wound on your cheek before you went back to the hotel and put everyone’s belongings in an SUV.

On the jet, the two of you sequestered yourselves in the back where it’s darker. He offered to let you lie down, so you rested your head in his lap. He used one hand to hold his book and the other to smooth your hair back. Your eyes were shut, but you were vaguely aware of the rest of the team as they took turns peeking back at the both of you.

you could stay

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#written by margot #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid angst #spencer reid hurt/comfort #spencer reid x you #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds angst #criminal minds hurt/comfort #spencer reid x fem!reader #criminal minds fic #spencer reid fic #criminal minds imagine

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steveslevis · 2 months

Text

‘tis the damn season

AUTUMN

chapter contents/warnings: exes to whatever the hell this is, a little bit of smut, angst, weed and alcohol use, mutual pining, steve is an idiot and is afraid of commitment </3, barely proofread (sowwy)

w/c: 5.3k

The first big frost of the season blankets the town of Hawkins when you arrive on Wednesday night, the bits of ice glittering on the orange and brown leaves making the barren streets seem less intimidating as you make your way through your hometown for the first time in months.

There’s a sense of anticipation and dread that fills your stomach while navigating the streets you know so well, knowing you’re going to be asked the same mundane questions about college in the big city a thousand times over during the next three weeks. You know that’s not the only thing filling you with dread for the weeks to come, but keep telling yourself that’s all you have to worry about — right?

The first evening you arrive in town is jam-packed, since your friends insisted on having a so-called “Friends-giving-mas” as the night that you arrived, due to your anticipated absence on the aforementioned Christmas. You spend a few hours with your mom and dad before leaving, enlisting your mom to help you make some cookies for the party, promising you’d leave her and your dad some behind.

The clock hits 7 p.m. and you’re finally finished getting ready, having just thrown on a red velvet, long sleeved dress that hit just above your knees and your best black boots, Robin had requested everyone to look their best so she could take photos with her new camera throughout the party. You grabbed your secret santa gift and jacket, checking yourself in the mirror one last time before leaving your room.

“Alright, I’m leaving.” you call out as you bound down the stairs and into the kitchen.

“Don’t forget your cookies, sweetheart! They’re on the table.” she replied from her place next to your dad on the couch, watching some rom-com while he was dozing beside her, “if you need us to come pick you up, we will.”

You let out a laugh at her remark, knowing that you were only walking to the next house over on the road, so picking you up would be ridiculous.

“Oh, I think I’ll manage just fine.” you joke in return while grabbing the plate of cookies, “love you guys!”

—————————

The outside of the Harrington’s house is gleefully lit with warm string lights, wreaths already adorning the front windows and main door to the house in anticipation of Christmas in a few weeks. You always admired the way their house looked during the holidays, but knew it was only a cheery facade to hide the dysfunction that lay within the halls of the residence.

You knew the family all too well, having grown up next to Steve your entire life. You were the same age as him, grew up attending all the same parties as him, but ran in completely different circles than him — well, up until your senior year of high school at least.

Long story short, being best friends with Robin led to you ultimately becoming so-called friends with Steve Harrington as well. The two of you had what you now called a stupid summer fling before you left for Chicago in August, but the rest was history. The two of you had agreed to stay civil and not let the remnants of any unresolved feelings come between your friendship and the rest of the friend group.

So here you were, knocking on Steve Harrington’s front door on a random Wednesday in late November, cookies in hand as you stood there, shivering. You faintly hear Robin say that she would get the door, then hear footsteps pad towards the entrance.

You’re greeted by your best friend with the strongest hug you swear you’ve ever experienced, and you feel like you might not ever be let go if she has anything to say about it.

“Oh my god! I missed you so much.” Robin exclaims, the widest grin on her face as she grabs for your hand, “everyone’s in here, we’re just waiting on Nance and Jonathan then we’ll be ready to eat but come in! I have so much to tell you about everything you don’t even know—”

You follow behind her wordlessly, smiling to yourself as she rambles on about college applications and band and Vickie — who just so happened to be in the kitchen helping finish making the mashed potatoes so you had to be quiet — and everything that she can think to fit in a conversation to catch her best friend up on after months without. She leads you to the dining room after dropping off the cookies, where you hear two familiar voices having a very passionate conversation.

“I’m telling you, man, I’m cursed—“

“You’re not cursed, Harrington. I’m telling you, you’re just looking in the wrong place for love.” Eddie retorts to his frustrated friend, rolling his eyes at him.

“Oh yeah? And where should I be looking?” Steve snorts, haphazardly tossing forks, knives and spoons atop the napkin at each seat of the table.

“I’ve been saying ever since what happened this summer, you should be going after — oh shit, Y/N!” Eddie interjects, cutting himself off when you trail in behind Robin.

The metalhead pulls you in for a bear hug, whispering in your ear about how he promises not to ask you boring questions about college like everyone else. As you’re being engulfed in his embrace, you hear the sound of silverware tumbling to the ground from the other side of the table, followed by a string of mumbled curse words from the dropper.

You pull away from Eddie’s hug to look at where the noise is coming from, only to see Steve fumbling with a fork and spoon while trying to stand up from where he was just kneeling. Your gaze lingers on him for a moment too long, taking in everything about him that you told yourself you didn’t miss. Eddie gives you a knowing look and you roll your eyes, knowing that he’s trying to tell you to not make things weird, so you try your best.

“Stevie, how are you?” you call to him while walking around the table, putting on the best oblivious and excited face that you can.

“H-Hey, Y/N.” Steve says, feigning coolness as he pulls you in for a quick hug, nearly stumbling over his words when you use the nickname you always loved to tease him with, “I didn’t know you were coming tonight.”

His eyes flicker over to Robin momentarily, who shoots him a guilty grin before mouthing ‘sorry’ over your shoulder.

“Yeah, it was kinda last minute on my part, I just so happened to be coming home tonight since my finals were all at the beginning of the week. I kinda forced Rob to tell me when it would be so I could crash it,” you lie, trying to throw the blame on yourself instead of her, “sorry if I messed anything up, I-I’ll lay low and won’t eat if that messes up numbers or something—“

“No!” Steve rushes to retort, shaking his head at you adamantly, “I mean, shit—sorry. No, you’re not messing anything up at all, you know you’re always welcome here.”

The smile on Steve’s face is genuine as he speaks, but there’s a glint of sadness in his eyes while he scans yours for any sign of hesitancy. You give him a small smile in return, quickly moving your gaze from his to push down that sinking feeling in your chest you know is coming. Your chest aches as you focus your eyes downward, realizing that this night would be a lot harder than you had convinced yourself that it would be.

“Well!” Robin interjects, interrupting the growing awkward silence filling the air of the dining room where you stood. She reached for your hand while smiling over at you sympathetically, beginning to drag you towards the kitchen as she spoke, “gotta go say hello to everyone else before dinner!”

Your best friend whirled you around to the rest of the guests–which was just Nancy, Jonathan, and Vickie–who were all in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on the meal.

A slew of awkward questions about Chicago ensued in the moments leading up to and during dinner, but you took them in stride as they distracted you from the bright eyed boy across the table who kept sneaking glances in your direction any chance he got. You explained your major, what you did for work outside of class time, and talked about all the new friends you met in the short few months you’d been gone. You could’ve sworn Steve’s jaw clenched at the mention of a date you went on prior to leaving for break, but you didn’t put too much thought into it.

Dinner goes by fairly quickly, and then it’s time for Secret Santa gifts in the living room. Robin begged everyone to participate, and even went through the effort of making sure you and Steve didn’t get each other, partly to not ruin the surprise of you being here and partly to diminish any awkwardness that might arise from it.

You had drawn Jonathan’s name, so you gifted him a few rolls of different camera film. Each person had to guess who their Secret Santa was, but apparently your gift was pretty obvious since he hadn’t been able to find any film like it anywhere near Hawkins, so he guessed you first.

Your turn rolled around and a small red gift bag was sat in your lap. You immediately knew who your gift was from, halfway from the grin plastered on his face and halfway from the smell lingering from inside the back in your hands.

“Thank you, Eddie.” you giggle out while pulling out four perfectly rolled blunts from the gift bag, courtesy of the best dealer in Hawkins.

“It’s always a pleasure,” he jabs back, “we can fire one up after presents if you’d like.”

You nod quickly at him, grinning widely before turning back to the circle where Robin was handing out gifts.

—————————

It’s not long before drinks are flowing and laughter is spilling through the Harrington residence, something that’s happened very few times within those halls. The night seems to go by too quickly, you notice how quickly when you check and it says 11 P.M. already, even though it feels like you’ve only been there a few hours. You’re sitting on the couch with Robin and Vickie, giggling their way through a story about some guy in the Hawkins band, when the sight of the back door sliding open and closed catches your eye.

You turn your gaze to see Steve stalking into the cold on his own, head turned down as he walks towards one of the ice-slicked pool chairs on the deck. A frown passes over your face as you furrow your brows, excusing yourself from the couple on the couch as you slip outside to follow him with your bottle of wine, one of your newly gifted blunts and a lighter in hand.

It’s the last thing you should be doing tonight, really. You shouldn’t be following Steve Harrington – the man who was too afraid to say he loved you and too afraid to commit to you – onto the porch. You should’ve stayed inside and drank some more wine with the rest of them and let yourself cut loose for once, but you just couldn’t do it. You just had to talk to him – you weren’t so sure what you wanted to talk about, but you just felt the need to.

“You alright?” was all you could slip out as you closed the sliding glass door, watching the brown haired boy from afar, making sure you weren’t making the wrong decision.

“Yeah–Yeah, just needed a little bit of fresh air.” Steve stammered, eyes widening for only a moment when he notices that it’s you that followed him outside.

You only hum in response, stepping closer to him as you sense no annoyance or anger in his voice, finding a spot on the chilled pool chair next to his. After setting down the bottle of wine you’d been nursing throughout the night, you took the blunt you’d brought as a peace offering between your fingers and waved it in front of his face.

Steve looked up for a moment, gaze shifting between the blunt between your fingers and your lips that curled up into a mischievous yet friendly smirk. His own lips perked up in a lopsided smile, raising an eyebrow at you when you brought the blunt to your lips, followed by the lighter.

“Would you like to partake?” you joke while puffing smoke through your lips, mixing with the cold puffs of breath coming from Steve’s.

“I’ll never say no to that,” he retorts, reaching to grab the blunt from your fingers.

There’s a breath of comfortable silence between the two of you as he inhales, then lets out a long exhale before focusing his gaze back onto the pool in front of him, onto the ice forming on the pool cover as a way to avoid your eyes.

“So, how’s the Stevie Harrington been faring since I’ve been gone?” you joked after a moment more of the quiet, shoving any nerves down that were threatening to force you to run back inside.

Awful, utterly dull and extremely depressing, was what Steve wanted to say.

He wanted to tell you how he fucked up so badly, how he hasn’t been the same since the last time he saw you, how he hasn’t even been able to look at anyone without thinking of you. He wanted to grab you by the cheeks and pull you in for a kiss and never let go. He wanted to scream and tell you how much he regretted ever letting you leave without knowing how he really felt, but he couldn’t now. It was too late, so he just said; “Oh, y’know. I’ve been fine. Just the same shit, different day.”

Steve wanted to kick himself for saying something so lame, something so uninteresting when the most interesting person in the world was sitting right in front of him.

“Does ‘same shit, different day’ just mean you’re stuck being the same old chauffeur-babysitter you’ve been for the last two years?” you tease, reaching down to grab the bottle of wine at your feet.

“Yeah, I guess you could say that.” Steve chuckled, giving you a warm smile as he took another puff.

It only took a few moments to finally break the ice between the two of you, then things fell right back into place, right back into a comfortable normalcy. There was something that put you so at ease being outside with him, being able to talk to him without the looming thought of who would be the first to say “I love you” or who would be the first to leave waving over both of your heads.

The next hour went by in a breeze, and it seemed the party inside died down by the time the two of you decided to walk back in. Steve closed the sliding glass door behind you two and you noticed only Eddie and Robin were left standing in the living room. Vickie was presumably in the guest bed, where Robin was about to head to. Jonathan and Nancy had left twenty minutes prior, only popping their heads out to say a quick goodbye before driving off.

Robin said a quick goodnight to you before heading up the stairs, along with a promise to see you tomorrow for a girl’s day. Then, it was just you, Eddie and Steve in the living room, Eddie at the couch setting up his bed for the night while the two of you stood in silence by the sliding glass door still.

“I–I guess I should probably head home for the night,” you say, breaking the silence between the three of you as you start towards your bag and coat on the other side of the room.

“Why don’t you just stay?” Steve interjects a little too loudly, the weed and wine in his system instilling some false confidence in him. “It’s so cold out and I’m sure at this point your parents already think you’re staying anyways.”

You stop on your toes at Steve’s voice, cheeks heating at how interested he sounded in you staying there for the night. It’s not like it was a far and dangerous walk, Steve just wanted an excuse to be around you for longer. You turn around to look at him, then to Eddie, who was giving you a tired smile.

“We can have a sleepover on the couch,” Eddie chuckles, reaching for one of the pillows he was setting out for himself to move it to the other side of the couch for you.

“I don’t have any clothes,” you suggest, looking down at your velvet dress that would be extremely uncomfortable to sleep in.

“Oh, I’m sure Stevie has some clothes that you can sleep in!” Eddie says, shooting a smirk in his direction.

“O–Of course I do, I’m sure I still have your favorite pajama pants up there if you want them.” Steve says hurriedly, as if you would change your mind if he didn’t answer quickly enough.

You give the two of them a smile, pretending to contemplate the decision for a moment before nodding. You could’ve sworn you heard Steve let out a breath of relief at your nod, but he turned towards the stairs before you could acknowledge it. Without a word, you follow right behind him up the stairs, slowly realizing the effects of the cherry wine and weed are coming to the surface.

Steve steps into his bedroom and you follow behind him, a situation the two of you knew all too well.

—————————

You don’t know what led to this, but there you were, in Steve’s bedroom, him towering over your space on his bed as he pulled you in for a heated kiss. Tongue against teeth, hands against cheeks, legs tangled together, just like they were meant to be.

This wasn’t supposed to happen, you swore to yourself you wouldn’t come crawling back every time you were in town, but here you were.

Somehow coming upstairs for a stupid pair of pajamas led to Steve giving you that look of lust and utter desire, led to you becoming a willing participant in his games once again after swearing you would never touch him again, led to you letting him sneak his way into your heart – and pants – yet again.

Your head is spinning as he kisses you, his lips slotted into yours like they belonged there, a perfect fit. You’re unsure if it’s the wine, the weed or the sheer yearning that’s making you feel like this, but you don’t want it to stop any time soon.

There’s a gnawing feeling in your stomach when Steve props his knee up on the bed next to your hip, you know you should stop before he gets any further, but the ache between your thighs is outweighing any thought of what would come after he spreads you open.

Steve groans into your mouth when you pull him closer, fingers intertwining with and tugging the hair at the nape of his neck, and you only smirked against his lips in satisfaction. You knew everything about the boy who was turning to a puddle just from the touch of your fingers. You knew exactly how to make him tick, and him the same for you.

“Fuck,” Steve breathes when he finally pulls away from you, full lips parted as he stares down at you. There’s a twinkle in his eye that you haven’t seen in so long, one you used to mistake for love but now only know to be pure lust. “I–I’m sorry I just, I need–I need you.”

You stare at the desperate, doe-eyed man in front of you for a long moment, mind wandering to a place of fear as you think about what you’re about to do.

Instead of saying anything in reply, you close the space between the two of you once again, smashing your lips into his in a feverish and bruising kiss. Steve is on you in an instant, gently pushing you back and up on the bed, letting your head fall on his pillows. You can tell by the way he stumbles on his way up to you that he’s intoxicated — on the weed or the wine, or you, you’re not sure — but you soon realize that you are too.

A hand wanders toward the hem of Steve’s sweater, tugging at it quickly as he pulls away from the bruising kiss. He wastes no time in pulling the cable-knit up and over his head, tossing it to the side while sitting up on his knees to take you the sight of you in. Your skin was hot and your eyes were blown with lust, cheeks flushed and lips parted as you stared up at him.

You’d only been under him for a minute and had completely folded to his touch. You cursed yourself for letting your inhibitions crumble so quickly, but another part of you didn’t actually care, the same part of you that wanted to claim him as yours forever.

Steve’s eyes trailed over you, from your cheeks to the low neckline of your dress, over the curve of your hips, ending on your thighs spread on either side of his knees. The crushed velvet of your skirt bunched where your leg met your hip, letting the fabric ride up enough for Steve to see exactly what he was searching for.

He sucked in a breath at the sight of your white lace underwear beneath, having to hold himself back from diving in right that second.

“You’re so beautiful,” he groaned, hands tracing over your hip bones while lowering his lips to yours once again.

A moan falls from your lips as his meet yours, his knee coming up between your thighs, creating friction against your core.

“Fuck—Stevie,” you say, choking back a pitiful whine while grinding against his thigh desperately, “please, I need you.”

You swear you hear Steve nearly choke at your words, three words he’d been dying to hear from you for months.

“I know, I know, baby.” he coos at you, trying to keep his cool as he strains against his pants, “I’ll take care of you.”

You nod feverishly as he leans down to pepper kisses along your neck, taking his sweet time while trying not to get drunk off the scent of you.

“This—This doesn’t mean anyth—this doesn’t change anything,” he stammers between kisses, peering up at you as he speaks, “we can still stay close—keep being friends after this.”

You hum in agreement, ignoring the dread building in your gut as you do. You want to be more than friends, you want to scream at him until he admits that he loves you too. But he nearly said it doesn’t mean anything, so you’re convinced he wants nothing to do with you after tonight, nothing but a friend to laugh with and a pretty face to fuck on every break from college.

You push the thoughts from your mind, focusing on the boy in front of you as his hands begin to massage your inner thighs, inching closer and closer to your core with every circle. Steve chuckles lowly as you let out a whine of anticipation, teasing you silently as he gives in to your desires.

Steve knows your body like he knows his own, so what comes after pulling off your dress is nearly second nature to him. One large hand trails to the waistband of your underwear while the other reaches for your breast, nipple peaked from the exposure to the cold air conditioning. You moan in surprise when he wastes no time in putting his mouth to work on your other nipple, tugging your underwear down your legs simultaneously.

His fingers immediately fall to your core once you’re free of the underwear, fingertips circling the bundle of nerves at the top as you let out another whimper.

His moves are careful but quick, he knows you want to waste no more time, and you’ll whine about his teasing if he doesn’t act soon.

He’s out of his boxers in an instant, one hand keeping contact with your clit as he situates himself above you.

“You look so good like this, sweetheart.” Steve says, voice low as his eyes raked over your body, “so pretty spread out for me, all fucked out for me even though I’ve barely touched you.”

“Stevie…” you whimper, reaching a hand up to him, but he pulls from your reach with a smirk across his face.

“Tell me what you want from me,” he says, leaning down to press a kiss to your cheek as he lines himself up with your slick, teasing the tip against you slowly.

“I—I need you, Steve.” you beg, cheeks flushing at the admittance, “I need you to fuck me, please.”

“Well, since you asked so nicely.” he retorts with a smirk, sliding into you with ease.

You both let out a low moan as he bottoms out, filling you in a way you haven’t felt in a long time. You forgot how thick he was in the time you’d been gone, your body wasn’t used to the stretch of his cock inside you, but it still felt like he was meant to be there. Like he was the only one who could make you feel this way.

And you were right, nobody could make you feel that way. Nobody else could touch you and make you fall apart in less than five minutes like he could. Nobody else could get you so riled up over a few praises thrown in with some condescension (which you embarrassingly loved too much) like he could. Nobody could hold off from cumming long enough to give you three orgasms before getting one of their own like he could.

Nobody did it like he could.

This doesn’t mean anything you repeat in your mind, clinging to his arm like your life depended on it after the two of you calmed your breathing and cleaned up. You weren’t sure if you were repeating those words to convince yourself or to ease your own mind about what just went down, but you knew they stung your heart more than any fighting words the two of you had ever exchanged.

“I missed this, cuddling with you, holdin’ you like this.” was all he slurred out against your hair, pressing a sleepy kiss into the crown of your head.

“Yeah, me too.” you mumble in return, accepting the warmth of his embrace as sleep finally took you in, ignoring the gnawing pain growing in your chest.

—————————

The spice of Steve’s cologne mixes with the familiar scent of his room, filling your senses when you wake, nearly sending you into a panic. You sit upright in the bed, turning to face the boy you claimed you wanted nothing to do with romantically just a few hours ago. Steve is sleeping peacefully next to you, plush lips parted and brows furrowed as he subconsciously pouts about the loss of your touch. The alarm clock behind him read 2:03 A.M., meaning you hadn’t been out for too long, but long enough to sober you up somehow.

Shit. Shit. Shit. I gotta get out of here. Is all you can think as you stumble out from under the comforter, knowing you would never live it down if anyone found you’d slept in his bed, especially with your limbs entangled like they just were. You quickly dress in the clothes you’d originally come into the bedroom to fetch, and snuck out of the bedroom without a sound.

Before making it to the living room, you turned toward the dimly lit kitchen for a glass of water. What you weren’t expecting to be faced with in the kitchen was Eddie, but there he was, leaning against the counter with disheveled hair that probably mirrored your own.

“What a night so far, huh?” he jokes as you shoot him a knowing glare while trudging across the tiled floor.

“Don’t even start with me, Munson.” you warn, absentmindedly reaching your hand up to the cabinet for a glass while shaking your head.

“Woah, don’t get that attitude with me! I didn’t say anything,” he laughs, setting his own glass into the sink, “but that also doesn’t mean I didn’t hear anything.”

“You did not,” you snap back, eyes wide and cheeks flushed with embarrassment as he gives you a shit-eating grin, “there’s no way you heard anything because nothing happened.”

“You’ve always been such a bad liar, Y/N.” Eddie laughs, stepping out of the kitchen to walk towards the living room where the two of you would be sleeping.

A sigh escapes your lips when Eddie leaves, letting you be alone with your thoughts finally. There was an ache in your chest that wasn’t going away any time soon, and it was in that moment that you wondered if you would ever be able to get over Steve Harrington, or if you would be in a continuous cycle of hurt and comfort for the rest of your damned life.

You collected your thoughts as you downed a glass of water, throwing back two ibuprofens with the last chug for good measure, before finding your way back to the living room. Eddie was on his side on the long side of the L-shaped couch, leaving the shorter side for you to sleep on. His eyes were closed as you laid down with your feet next to his own, but you knew he wasn’t asleep yet.

“I won’t tell anyone, I promise.” you heard through the darkness after turning off the table lamp once you were settled.

“I know.” you sigh in return, staring up at the ceiling that was only lit by the streetlights flowing in from outside. “I just don’t want to live like this forever, I–I can’t keep being the secret that Steve is too embarrassed to talk about.”

“He’s not embarrassed of you,” Eddie said, voice barely above a whisper, just loud enough for you to hear, “he’s just afraid of fucking everything up even more than he already has.”

If only he could say that to my face, then maybe I’d believe it, you thought to yourself, chest tightening at just the thought of the brown-eyed boy who was fast asleep upstairs.

You don’t reply to Eddie, unsure of what to say back, unsure of what you could squeak out without breaking down.

“Goodnight, Eds,” is all you say in return, though you know you won’t be getting any sleep.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

—————————

After falling asleep for all of fifty minutes around 5 in the morning, you decided you had to leave.

The entirety of the almost four hours you laid on Steve’s couch consisted of staring at the ceiling and fighting off tears while thinking about how you regretted everything you said and did over the last twelve hours.

Coming to the Harrington house was a mistake, even stepping foot back in Hawkins was feeling like a mistake at this point.

The only words repeating in your mind were This doesn’t mean anything. This doesn’t mean anything. This doesn’t mean anything.

You eventually had enough of the self-loathing and inability to sleep, so it was time to go. It was time to hastily change out of the pajamas that smelled too much like the boy you loved too hard, and time to go collapse in your own bed. There was no telling if you’d actually fall asleep once you made it there, but that was beside the point.

It was when you finally made it back to your parent’s house, to your childhood bedroom, that you swore that you wouldn’t see Steve Harrington again for the rest of Thanksgiving break, and hopefully would avoid seeing him again for a long while, for the sake of saving yourself from another heartbreak.

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tags: @carinacassiopeiae

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington smut #steve harrington x you #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington angst #steve harrington fanfic #stranger things #stranger things fanfic #stevis writes #ttds*

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spooky-pomegranate · 9 months

Text

Through The Door:

Captain Price x F Reader (18+) 🔥 Word Count: 2.2K

Summary: Ghost doesn't trust you and when he hears you and Captain Price fighting in his office he stops to listen. But he hears and sees more than he ever expected.

It’s been ten days of this. Ten days of watching, following, and listening. And somehow it still hadn’t been enough time. Ghost still hadn’t caught you. But he knew he would. He just had to remain patient. He’d keep watching. You’d slip up eventually. He was sure of it.

Even if you did have everyone else fooled.

In just ten days, you had already made fast friends with Johnny. The two of you were always laughing and telling one another stupid jokes and stories.

The last thing you’d carried on about was music. You preferred old-school rock and roll. The Stones, The Who, The Beatles. But you liked classical too. You made fun of Soap for his favorite genre, cheery electropop. You called it music for “love-sick teenage girls” and teased him endlessly. He called you “a walking iPod shuffle” and said you were confused about your own taste. You playfully punched Johnny in the arm before you both laughed like hyenas.

It was like you were siblings, the way you constantly bantered and bickered. It set Ghost on edge. You both were so comfortable around each other. It was so familiar, so natural… It wasn’t right.

And Gaz, he wasn’t any better. You had asked him for additional training and on most days, Ghost found you two at the shooting range long after the recruits had left for dinner. At first, your conversations were shallow. In between firing rounds of high-caliber ammunition, you asked him about his life on base and how long he’d known Soap and Price. But the conversations eventually grew longer. And they grew deeper. Gaz told you about his family, his hometown, and his childhood. You told him about how difficult it was to leave the States and move to the UK on your own.

Ghost could tell that as the days were passing and as your conversations were growing more meaningful, the two of you were starting to trust one another more. And that frustrated him. Why couldn’t Gaz see what he saw in you?

He wondered if your skills were what threw the others off.

Ghost couldn’t deny that you were better than most of the other recruits. You were a natural at the shooting range. You picked up on techniques quickly and put them into practice almost flawlessly. And even though you pretended to be intimidated by it in the beginning you were especially good with a sniper rifle. You always asked the right questions about the winds, the terrain, and any potential bullet drop. And while Ghost found that suspicious, Gaz seemed to be amazed by it. Proud even. He joked with you about how quickly you could do math in your head and how that would come in handy if you were ever posted up in a sniper’s nest someday.

“Over my dead body,” Ghost had mumbled to himself as he watched you both from the shadows.

But you weren’t perfect. When Ghost did pull himself out of the base’s dark corners and did talk with you, you were always nervous. You spoke at breakneck speeds. Your sentences mushed together, like a quickly moving mudslide, totally out of control and unpredictable. You struggled to look him in the eyes. You fidgeted, stared at your shoes, and gave him any excuse you could to get away.

“Sorry can’t chat, Johnny wants to train in the gym.”

“I think I just heard Gaz call my name.”

“Gotta go. Price needs me.”

And Price… you definitely had that man wrapped around your little finger. Or at least Ghost thought you did until one night when he heard you two fighting inside the Captain’s office.

“Price, why won’t you tell me what you and Laswell are planning for the raid?”

Your words had stopped Ghost in his tracks. He glanced down the empty hall to make sure no one was around before sinking to his knees and pressing his ear to the door of Price’s office.

“Come on, love we’ve been over this,” he heard the Captain answer.

“But I can help!”

Your voice was pleading. You were practically begging Price. But why did you care so much Ghost wondered?

“I want you to focus on training. You asked me to teach you to fight remember?”

“I know… but you also promised to let me take some of the weight off your shoulders too.”

“You’re too smart, you know that.”

“Price…” you whined the Captain’s name and Ghost rolled his eyes. He imagined that on the other side of the door, you were probably looking up at Price with doe eyes. Needy and wanton. God… you probably were pouting your lips too.

He could only hope that Price would see through you.

“I want you to be as prepared as you can be before then. I can handle this, I promise ya I’m fine. We’ve got more resources and men now. It’s not like before. We aren’t alone anymore. Ya trust me don’t you?”

Good man, Ghost thought to himself. Don’t give in to her so easily. As long as Price continued to keep his cards close to his chest maybe they’d all get through this in one piece.

“But what if he’s there? What if he has my briefcase there and he’s figured out how to use it? He’ll see you coming. Price what if this is a setup?” You were doing that thing where you spoke 100 miles an hour again, your words sloshing and sliding into one another.

“Laswell’s been surveilling the area. He hasn’t been there. Your briefcase isn’t there.”

“Price but what if-”

“Shhh. It’s okay. Come here, love.”

Ghost heard the sound of a chair scrape and footsteps shuffle away from the door. He knew you were walking over to Price. He could practically see you standing in front of him in his mind.

Then you sighed.

“I’m tired, Price.” Your voice was softer. Ghost could barely hear you now. He tried to press even closer to the door. The metal was cold against his ear. “I know I asked for this… learning how to fight. But it’s harder than I thought it would be and…”

You stopped.

“Go on. Say it.”

“Your Lieutenant…”

Shit. Your voice was muffled.

Shit. He needed to hear this.

Ghost slowly reached for the door handle and carefully, he turned the knob. The door opened the smallest crack. He peered inside.

You were sitting across the room, straddled on Price’s lap. Your head was buried against his chest. The Captain’s hands rubbed against the back of your t-shirt in lazy circles.

“Ghost? What about him, sweetheart?”

At the sound of Price’s voice, you pulled your head from his chest.

“He hates me.”

Price stilled and his jaw clenched. Neither of you spoke. Ghost held his breath before looking to his left and right. Thankfully, the coast was still clear.

“He doesn’t trust you,” Price eventually said, breaking through the silence.

“That’s the same thing.”

“It’s not.”

You sighed loudly and moved to stand, but Price reached up and quickly pulled you back toward him by your hips.

“Don’t leave,” Price said, his voice low and firm. “I trust you.”

“Then why doesn’t he?”

Because I know there’s something else going on with you, Ghost thought to himself. Because I know there’s a secret you’re hiding.

“Because he doesn’t know you like I do.” Price replied, his hand moving up your spine to hold the back of your head. “He doesn’t know how smart you are. That you can build something from nothing. He doesn’t know that you’re a fighter, that you’ve been dealt a shite hand in life but you’ve always soldiered on.”

Price leaned forward and kissed you.

Ghost looked down at the floor. He should leave, he thought. He should go back to the barracks and sit behind his computer and look for dirt on you that way. It would be less awkward. He’d feel less strange.

But Ghost didn’t move. He couldn’t.

What if this was the moment you finally slipped? What if you said something? He needed to be more patient. He’d stay a little longer. If only for Gaz, for Johnny. If they got hurt because he missed something he’d never forgive himself.

He watched as Price leaned back, pulling away from your lips. A smile sprawled across his face.

“He doesn’t know how sweet you taste either, sweetheart.”

You laughed, running your own hands through Price’s short hair as the Captain dove into your neck.

“I mean it, love. If any of those boys got to taste you like I do, if they got to feel you like I do…” Price pulled back from your neck and looked you in the eye. “If they got to fuck you like I do… none of them would ever distrust you.”

“Price, that isn’t really reassuring. You’re just saying you trust me because we’ve fucked.”

Ghost’s grip tightened against the door knob. Was that what Price was saying? Was that really all you were to him? A plaything?

He opened the door another inch. He needed to see your face better. He had to know what this was between you and his Captain.

“Remember the first day I brought you here? And I took you to my room. And I showed you all my scars. Do you remember?”

Ghost watched as Price tugged on your hair. Your head tilted back toward the ceiling and the captain dove into your neck again, kissing you just below your ear.

“Yes,” you answered with heavily weighted breath.

“And do you remember how you kissed me? How you teased me before you slid your sweet little tongue into my mouth? Do you remember?”

“Mhmm,” you hummed in affirmation.

“And do you remember how good it felt when my tongue was in between your legs? How it felt when my beard brushed against your thighs.”

Ghost felt his face grow hot. The scene in front of him made him feel like an intruder, a dirty and unwelcome voyeur. He knew he should leave.

But he couldn't make himself move.

He needed the truth.

He watched as one of Price’s hands left your hair and trailed slowly down your body. His fingers moved from your collarbone. Lower. Grazing your breast. Lower. Lingering over your stomach… Lower.

“Yesssss,” you whined as Price’s hand slid underneath the waistband of your pants and disappeared from Ghost’s view.

“And do you remember how hard you made me? Just by tasting you? Tell me you remember.”

You whimpered. It was a sound Ghost had never heard from you. Sweet. High-pitched. Soft.

Price’s shoulder moved up and down. His hand still plunged between your legs.

Ghost swallowed against a lump in his throat.

“I- fuckkkk,” you bucked your hips toward Price, “I remember.”

“And tell me you remember how I fucked you. When I first pushed inside you… how was it? Do you remember was I fast, like this?”

Ghost watched as Price moved his hand quicker. In and out. His right shoulder rose. Up and down. Faster, faster, and faster.

You yelped. The noise was loud and short. Your hands left Price’s hair and dug into his shoulders. You were clawing into him desperately. Falling apart with every second, every movement.

“No… no you weren’t fast,” your voice wavered as you answered.

“Good. Good girl. You remembered. Yeah, I was slow, just like this. Wasn’t I?” Price eased his pace, slowing down the movement of his hand buried in your pants.

“Yes… just like that,” you moaned as your eyes rolled back. You were lifting your hips up and down on Price’s lap now. Matching his pace.

Ghost shifted on his knees. His hand tightened against the doorknob as he continued to watch you both from the dimly lit hall.

“Has anyone else ever made you feel like that before, sweetheart? Has anyone ever made you feel that good?” Price asked as his voice dropped lower. He was practically growling at you.

And you…your face turned pink. Your lips parted. Your eyes closed. And your breathing… it became sporadic. Each inhale became a gasp. Each exhale became more desperate than the last.

This was wrong. Ghost shouldn’t be watching this. This wasn’t his intention. He never meant to see this. His eyes fell to the ground. But still, he stayed. He listened.

“No,” you moaned.

“That’s right. And no one has ever made me feel as good as you did either. You felt so good, love. So fucking good. And you want to know why I trust you?”

Ghost eyes snapped back to the two of you. This was the answer he needed.

“Mmmm tell me...” you gasped. The Captain picked up his pace, his hand delving between your legs with greater force. God the sounds your body was making. They were so loud. “Please tell me, Price.”

“It’s because I love you, beautiful. I’m so in love with you. You’re so perfect. I trust you with my life because I love you. I want to fuck you like that all the time… because I love you. If anyone got to love you like I love you they would trust you. Forever. Always.”

Ghost heard enough. He quietly backed away and gently closed the door.

He had found a truth today. Even if it wasn’t his place to hear it.

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(More from this story on AO3)

#call of duty #captain price #captain john price #captain john price x reader #john price #cod #simon ghost riley #simon riley #john price x reader #captain price x reader #captain john price x you #call of duty mwii

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kiss-theggoat · 5 months

Note

I’m back again! I’m a sucker for Thomas Hewitt okay, and there isn’t enough about him! I was wondering if you could do another fic about him, a childhood friend of Thomas’s who moved away comes back in town. She ends up staying with them while she is in town, unknowingly having interrupted their killing plans, leaving a victim down in the basement and unknown from reader. But when the family isn’t home (who knows why) victim escapes and attacks reader. Reader attacks back but ends up killing the victim on accident. In fear she hides the body but the guilt kills her and she ends up telling Thomas. (I know out of character stuff)

A/N: Thank you for the request, I really love writing for Thomas and hope you like! 🖤

Surprise!

Thomas Hewitt x F!Reader

Word Count: 3K

Summary: After years of being away from home, you finally decide to visit your hometown…only to see it’s been shut down. Only one family still lives there, and thankfully, you know them, and they offer to let you stay there! But…after a few days, you start to sense that something isn’t right.

TW: Canon-Typical Violence

The drive to Texas was long, but as you watched the dust and sagebrush go by, your chest swelled with excitement. You hadn’t been back in your hometown since your parents made you leave when you were younger, and now that you finally had your own car and your own money, the first thing on your list was to visit that sleepy little Texas town you’d missed since you left. The only issue was that as you kept driving…you noticed that all of the street signs leading to town were decrepit. You thought…well, you’d been gone a long time…just normal wear and tear under the Texas sun, right?

Wrong.

As you drove into town…you felt your chest tighten at the state of things. Almost every single building was boarded up, windows shattered and spray painted, signs on the ground and covered in dust. There was no way that anyone lived here, hell, the only stoplight in town didn’t even work…

Your car sputtered to a stop in front of what used to be your favorite little convenience store. Where you used to go inside and beg your mom to buy you all of the candy she said was off limits. The same store you got caught stealing a candy bar with your best friend and thought you both might get arrested by the sheriff. You slammed your car door shut, dust clouding around you in a plume of sadness in nostalgia. It was so quiet…not even a cricket…until you heard a siren.

How can an abandoned town have law enforcement? You raised a hand to block the relentless sunlight, turning to the source of the sound, where an old cop car rolled up beside you. The tint on the windows was definitely illegal, but thankfully, the sheriff slowly rolled it down, revealing his scowling face, eyes blocked by sunglasses.

“What’s a pretty thing like you doin’ in town?” He asked, lip stuffed with chew. His voice was gruff, but sounded so oddly familiar to you. You leaned in closer, eyes squinting in order to get a better look at him. You peered at the name badge…Hoyt. That didn’t sound familiar at all…but then he said your name. You continued to look at him in confusion as he pulled his sunglasses off, his eyes full of recognition. This man obviously knew you…but who was he?

He stepped out of the car and shut the door, leaning against it as he spit a puddle of black sludge onto the ground. “Well I’ll be damned. Thought I’d never see your pretty face again.”

“I’m sorry…it’s been a long time since I’ve been here and…the name Hoyt doesn’t ring any bells.” I told him, pointing at the nameplate on his chest.

“Oh this is a buddy’s uniform. Lost my own badge. The name Hewitt ring any bells? Charlie Hewitt.” He spit again, closer to your shoe this time, making you cringe and step away just a little. At first, you didn’t remember the name Hewitt either…until you remembered Thomas. The one boy in your class that never came to school, was always bullied or called names because of his face. Your eyes lit up as you made eye contact with him, a smile spreading onto your lips.

“Hewitt! Yes! I remember Thomas.” You said happily. If the Hewitt family was still here, then the town couldn’t be completely shut down, right?

This seemed to annoy Charlie in a way, his lip curling up into a sneer at the sound of Thomas’ name. “Course you remember that big oaf. Hard to miss ‘im.” He spat the rest of his chew onto the ground, wiping his lip with the back of his hand, “Where you plannin’ on stayin’?”

This made you sigh. You were hoping the little motel would still be open, but you’d just driven past it, and from the looks of it, its only residents were probably rats and roaches. “Well, actually…I probably have to drive back to Austin tonight. I didn’t know the town had…” you stopped talking, eyes landing on Charlie’s wrinkled face, not wanting to say anything rude about the hometown you shared.

“Gone under?” He broke out into a wheezy laugh, making it very clear to you that he’d probably been smoking like a chimney since you left. “Yeah. Not a lotta folks left. But Austin’s a long way and it’s gettin’ dark…not safe for a pretty little thing like you to be alone.” The way he spoke sent shivers down your spine. You knew him…but he seemed …different. His eyes had a sinister glow to them, the way he stared down at your chest made you want to hop in your car and never come back. “Why don’t you come stay at the house? M’sure Luda Mae would love havin’ another girl around.” He took a step closer to you, eyes still focused where they shouldn’t be.

You spoke quickly, definitely quick enough to make your uneasiness known. “No, that’s okay…I really don’t mind driving back into the city.”

This seemed to amuse Charlie. “Oh, we insist. Tommy will be there…don’t think he’s seen someone like you in his whole life.”

For some reason, the mention of Thomas made you actually want to go. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but your memories of Thomas, while very little, were only fond. He was a big kid for his age, and very misunderstood, but always very kind and quiet. And…he did say there would be another girl there, right? So you wouldn’t just be alone with this creep. Maybe going to visit the Hewitt’s would be a nice walk down memory lane.

“Okay…sure. It is getting pretty late, I guess.” You agreed, making him smile and show off his stained yellow teeth.

“Perfect. Just drive behind me.” He told you, opening the door to his cop car.

The drive to the Hewitt’s home was longer than you’d thought, and their house was huge. As you parked behind Charlie, you stared up at the house in awe, seeing every single window illuminated. You supposed that with the entire town pretty much out of commission, they owned whatever property they wanted. Your shoes crunched against the gravel as Charlie led you inside, and the moment he opened the door, a feeling of discomfort settled deep in your stomach.

The house was cozy, but eclectic. Too eclectic, like every item inside belonged to a different owner at some point in time. It smelled like a mixture of expired perfume and rotting meat, a sickeningly sweet film settling on your sweaty skin, making it hard to breath inside the home. You stuck a smile on your face anyways, not wanting to seem rude as you were led into the dining room. It seemed as though you were interrupting dinner, everyone already seated in front of their bowls, full of some sort of stew. Your presence immediately turned heads, all six eyes fixed on you and Charlie standing in the doorway.

“Well I don’t believe it…” The lady whispered, who you immediately recognized to be Luda Mae. God, she’d gotten old. You remember her being old when you were in elementary school, and part of you wondered how she was still alive. Across from her sat an elderly man, who somehow looked twenty years older than her. He was sitting there, eyes on you but unfocused, like he was staring at the air between you and the table. Last to meet your gaze was Thomas.

Your heart sank when you saw him, or what was exposed. The leather mask covering his face upset you beyond reason. You knew that Tommy had been bullied for his looks when you guys were little, but never thought he’d make a custom mask to wear, even around his family, and at dinner for god's sake. That’s when it occurred to you, he wasn’t even eating.

“Found ‘er down by the old gas station lookin’ for a place to stay. Ain't she pretty?” Charlie asked, his voice low and predatory as walked towards his seat at the head of the table. The way he spoke about you, like you were just a piece of meat, made your skin crawl.

You gave everyone a polite smile and a little wave before speaking. “Well, I expected the motel to still be open…really, I can find somewhere else to stay, I hate to impose if-“

“Oh don’t be silly!” Luda interrupted. “We’d love to have you. You’ve just gotten so pretty…hasn’t she Tommy?” Your eyes shot to a very flustered looking Thomas, his eyes fixed on his steaming bowl of stew, still untouched.

“Please dear, have a seat, you’re just in time for dinner.”

To be completely honest…you didn’t want to eat their dinner. Something about the house and their demeanor made you want to leave, but if there was one thing you learned about growing up in Texas, it was to accept the hospitality.

“Thank you, Luda Mae.” You said softly, accepting the seat beside Thomas. Charlie scooped a full ladle of soup into a bowl and set it in front of you. With clammy hands you grabbed the spoon, noticing that none of their silverware matched. The spoon you had was delicate, handle slim with swirled details adorning the shiny silver.

All of the Hewitt’s stared at you with prying eyes as you scooped yourself a bite. It contained a chunk of meat, a carrot, and an onion, along with the broth they soaked in.

The moment that stew touched your tongue, you knew something was wrong. The meat tasted off, way too gamey. You’d had your fair share of meats, different kinds of game and homemade foods made with hunting prizes but this…unlike anything you’d ever tasted. It was tender, and didn’t taste bad, but the unfamiliar taste tainted the whole soup, causing alarm bells to go off in your head.

You were soon distracted by the sounds of the family scarfing down their own dinner, spoons hitting porcelain and lips smacking. In no time, your bowl was empty, and so was everyone else’s…except for Thomas’. But, this seemed normal among dinner time as Luda Mae cleared the dishes without a word.

“Tommy. Show our guest to ‘er room for the night, would ya?”

The wooden chair screeched against the floor when Thomas stood. He just seemed to keep going…he towered over you. You craned your neck to stare at him, mouth open and eyes widening. You stood from your own chair, noticing how much larger he was than you. You stood at his chest, and he easily doubled you in width.

Without a word he started walking past you, and you figured he meant for you to follow, so you did. The more you explored the house, the less cozy it got, and by the time you made it to the guest room, it was plain and simple, just a bed with white sheets in the middle of an empty room. Thomas stood at the door, taking up the entire entrance.

“Thank you, Thomas.” You said quietly, giving him a small smile that made him turn away from you. “It’s really nice to see you.”

The longer you stared, the more you realized that he was still the same old Tommy. A gentle giant with pretty brown eyes that sucked you in until you didn’t want to look away.

Just as you were getting lost in your thoughts, Charlie shoved Thomas aside, holding your bag that you’d left in your car.

“‘Ere you go, gorgeous.”

“Thanks, Charlie…” you said softly, grabbing the bag. That was nice of him, but you don’t remember giving him your car keys…

“My rooms just downstairs if you need anythin’.” Charlie sent you an uncomfortable wink, reminding you to lock your door tonight, and walked away. Thomas stood with his head down, still in the doorway.

“Uhm…goodnight, Thomas.” You said softly, a smile gracing your face again. This time, he looked at you. And you could’ve sworn that before you closed the door, his eyes crinkled, like he might’ve smiled too. You closer the door, and grumbled at the lack of a lock, finally getting ready for bed.

A shriek yanked you from your peaceful slumber, making you sit up straight in bed. Your heart was pounding, and you reached over to turn on the small bedside lamp. You were hoping it was just a nightmare, something you could just ignore and go back to the weirdly comfy mattress but the longer you sat there, the more you heard. Footsteps, whispering…but they sounded so frantic. Not like someone getting up for a glass of water or a midnight snack.

Slowly and hesitantly, you walked towards the door and pulled it open, bare feet finding every single splinter in the floor until you were finally in the hallway, staring down the stairs in the dark with wide, fearful eyes. Everything seemed fine…until a woman stumbled into your field of vision. She was bloody, open wounds on her back in an odd spot…did she just break into the house? She was near the front door and none of the Hewitt’s were with her. You stared at her, panicking, especially when you made eye contact.

Your blood went cold and you quickly backed up, barely hanging onto the banister.

“You have to help me, please! You have no idea what is going on here, we have to get out, you have to help me!” The girl started to ramble, but her voice was a whisper-like scream. Her bloodied hands hit the stairs and she began to crawl towards you.

You stared blankly, overcome by the fear and shock of seeing her inside the home…before you knew it, she made it to you. She gripped your ankle with a sticky hand, pulling you closer to the stairs. “Please!” She hissed, her eyes wide and crazed.

Instinctively, you tried to kick her hand away from you, pulling away. You felt your breathing speed up, panic overwhelming you. “Get off me!”

Her eyes flashed with realization, and she immediately recoiled. “You…you’re one of them…oh my god!” She wailed, voice full of dread and tears flowing down her cheeks. One of them? What did that even mean? This sorrow and dread only lasted a few seconds…before she turned to rage. Her face scrunched and it was like she’d been struck by lightning, body invigorated and suddenly strong enough to function. She stood and lunged at you, hands on your shoulders.

Your breath left your lungs as she slammed you against the wall, the back of your head aching in a way it never had before. In an attempt to get her off of you, you pushed her as hard as you could, feeling the slick blood on her shoulder and her neck where your hands hit her. Your eyes were closed tightly as you shoved, but it didn’t take vision to know what happened to her. Her body stumbled down the stairs, thumping all the way down, groans and grunts escaping her as she trailed blood all the way down.

You covered your mouth with your trembling hands…you’d just killed someone…you felt nauseous, you could feel your stomach turning as you stared at her body at the bottom of the stairs, laying limp. You prayed and prayed that she’d move, but she never did. A door slammed open from somewhere downstairs and that’s when you realized…

You’d just killed someone inside of someone else’s home. Tears rolled down your face and you slid down the wall to the ground, knees shaking and unable to support your weight anymore. Heavy footsteps approached the dead body at the bottom of the stairs…and Thomas came into your field of view. He stared nonchalantly at the woman, but turned to face you when he heard your sob.

“Thomas I’m so sorry I don’t know what happened…” you whispered, face bright red from crying and entire body shaking. Thomas stood still for a moment, but when he started moving, nothing could’ve stopped him. He knelt on the stairs in front of you, huge hand taking yours.

The warmth radiated through your fingers and up into your arms, making them feel less shaky and cold and traumatized. You stared up at Thomas, bleary eyes filled with tears, realizing that he wasn’t mad…or scared…he wanted to help you. Relief overwhelmed you, and you couldn’t stop yourself from moving closer to him, arms wrapped around his broad waist, head buried against his chest. With your panicking, you barely noticed the fact he wore a button up and a leather apron, droplets of blood smearing against your cheek. You didn’t care. Thomas wrapped his tree trunk arms around you and held you against him…it was like nothing else mattered. Comfort washed over you and for a moment you felt like you hadn’t just killed a woman for no reason.

“S-she just attacked me, she jumped at me and grabbed me and she was yelling and-“

Thomas’ hand gently stroked your hair as if to shush you, his cheek resting against the top of your head as he held you as close as he could.

There was nothing that would stop him from being close to you. Not the three bodies in the basement, and definitely not the bitch that hopped off the hook.

#slasher x reader #slashers #horror movies #horror fanfiction #slasher x y/n #thomas hewitt x y/n #thomas hewitt x you #thomas hewitt x reader #thomas hewitt

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shewrites7 · 10 months

Text

The First Step

carmen berzatto x fem!reader

summary - The first thing you do when you get back to your hometown of Chicago is pay Carmen, your oldest friend and maybe more than that, a visit at The Beef. When you land yourself a job there, the more he sees of you, the more he seems to push you away for reasons he isn't yet brave enough to tell you, even if all he wants is to be with you. But if he'd ever known you, he'd know that you weren't going to back down without a fight.

type - one shot (its a long one)

word count [16.6k]

tags: Carmy Berzatto x f!reader, friends to lovers, pining, slight miscommunication, a little angst, "stop pushing me away", hurt/comfort, and new promises.

warnings: swearing, mentions of grief/death, panic attack

a/n: check this out also on my ao3! <33

Carmen was tired, to say the least. He'd been working himself to the bone every damn day for the past few months, trying to get The Beef to a good, stable place. Somehow, as time went by, he'd only managed to dig himself a deeper grave. With the money they owed to Cicero, he knew, deep down, that the restaurant was, for lack of a better word, fucked.

But he kept holding on. He couldn't let go of it. He'd wonder, in the depths of night, why he was fighting so hard for this place when he could easily sell it to Cicero. If, maybe, he was holding onto someone. He didn't amuse the thought. He physically couldn't.

So he threw himself deeper into his work. Deeper into making The Beef a reputable place, with a professional working staff and high-quality food. It didn't matter that the others looked at him like he'd lost his mind. Maybe he had. He didn't have the time to worry about that. He didn't have time for much of anything, which is why Sydney had been pushing for new hires. She'd said that they needed more hands in the kitchen, more workers up front, more of everything. They should be desperate.

That's why she'd spent hours putting up posters for new hires on what felt like practically every block of Chicago within a mile radius from the restaurant. And that's why you'd happened to stumble upon one of them while walking to a favorite pizza place of yours that you'd loved as a kid. It was one of the first things you'd planned on doing ever since you'd gotten back into the city. That and meeting up with some old friends who you'd missed with an ache in your chest. So, seeing the poster clinging to the utility pole saying that The Beef was hiring had your heart skip a little beat at the prospect of not only getting a job but seeing the people who had basically been your family growing up again.

It was a Friday morning when you'd stopped by The Beef, the rusted white sign sticking out like a sore thumb. A rush of aromas wafted against your nose when you walked in, and the front door made a jingling sound that was almost nostalgic.

No one was at the front register. In fact, you couldn't see anyone at all, only hear some muffled voices coming from the kitchen in the back. The voices grew louder as seconds went by, and you could tell they were shouts. The kitchen door then flew open, finally revealing the argument going on between two people, one being an unfamiliar woman in an apron, and the other being none other than Richie Jerimovich.

"Richie, I swear to God-"

"I already told you," came the booming voice of Richie, neither of them noticing your presence at the door. "Your foo foo plans for this place are not gonna fly, Sweetheart!"

With the way Richie was talking to her, you could see the woman's patience wearing thin as she rested a hand on her temple with shut eyes as he carried on. It was only when she reopened her eyes a few moments later that she noticed your presence.

"Hi," you said, making your way over to her. "I saw your poster, the one about looking for new hires-"

"Right, right." She offered a strained smile, stress seeming to stay with her. "I'm Sydney, you must be one of the job applicants?"

"Yeah, I'm-"

"A job applicant?" Richie's voice boomed through the room, his voice always projecting ten times louder than need be. You had to admit, you missed it. "F that bullshit, that's fucking Mars Bar!"

Sydney's eyebrows lowered at the shouted nickname, the one that the Berzattos had gifted you years ago after your favorite candy as a kid. You granted Richie a smile, him finally noticing you. "Nice to see you too, Richie."

He marched around the counter to engulf you in a bear-like hug that had you letting out a chuckled gasp from the impact, arms wrapping tightly around your back. He let go in a beat and slammed his hands down on the counter in excitement, always loud.

"Just wait till Carmy hears about his favorite girl being back, I swear to God."

Something fluttered through you at the mention of that name. Carmen's name. With a whirlwind of thoughts sifting through your mind, you almost missed the other name that Richie had called you, aside from Mars Bar. Carmy's favorite girl.

-----

Richie had barged into the kitchen with full vigor, slamming open the swinging door dangerously close to a nearby Tina.

"Cousin!" He moved through the different chefs' stations until he got to Carmen's, who was wrapped up in prepping and quite frankly had learned to tune out the sound of Richie's yelling for his own health. "Yo, Cousin!"

Richie boisterously grabbed a hold of Carmen's shoulders, rocking him a little and moving his hand that wielded a knife, cutting diagonally into beef he'd been pre-slicing.

"Shit," Carmen cursed, irritation forming. "What the hell is it, Cousin?"

Richie just laughed, a mind never paid to Carmen's annoyance. "Yea, you're pissed at me now, Carmy, but you're gonna think I'm pulling your dick when I tell you who's at the fucking register right now."

With a forever-present dull headache, Carmen sighed and shifted his focus to him, putting down his knife on the counter. He gestured a hand out to him. "Who's at the register, Rich-"

"The fucking love of your life, that's who!"

Richie gave Carmen a playful punch in the arm, but he remained unphased, a frown etched on his features. "See, what the fuck are you talking about? I don't have a love of my-"

"Two words, Cousin. Mars Bar."

Richie was right. Those two words really did do something to him.

"She- ... she's here?"

He rubbed his jaw, brain short-circuiting for a second as he tried to make sense of Richie's words. His eyes bore into Richie's never-serious ones, trying to grasp onto whether or not he was, just this one time. If he was messing with him, he didn't think he'd be able to take it.

"Yes, bro!" Yelled Richie, patting him on the back. "I swear to you. She's here, and hot as balls, too."

He squinted his eyes at him with a twinge of disgust, slightly shoving him to the side to get towards the door. He still didn't know if he believed it. You'd been traveling abroad on some grant that he, to be honest, didn't know much about. But you were doing great things. He couldn't guess why you'd come back to The Beef, of all places.

When he saw you through the window, he was lucky he was hidden behind the safety of the kitchen door because he couldn't control the way his body and mind froze at the sight of you. He took in the way your smile beamed out into the room as you spoke with Sydney, warm and unignorable, and he could've sworn something changed in the chemical makeup of his brain. Something that had his eyes widening and his feet planted in their place.

"What'd I tell you?" Richie's voice from behind him knocked him out of his trance. There was a smug, amused edge to his voice. "Now go and talk to her."

Carmen put a hand out, shooing him away. "I will. I just," he stopped, trailing off as he took in the way you truly seemed to glow after all the time spent away. He liked how it looked on you.

"Aww, don't tell me you're nervous now, Carm." Richie put his arms on Carmen's shoulders.

"Shut the fuck up." He shoved Richie off of him with a grimace, but his eyes never left you, jaw clenching as he followed your movements. "I'm not."

The pit in his stomach told him otherwise. He ignored the feeling, determined, and took in a breath before opening the kitchen door to the front of the restaurant, to where you stood.

At the sound of the door swinging open you finally turned your attention to him, lips coming to part with a subtle inhale that somehow left you feeling breathless.

"Carmen." You said his name with a grin, eyes lighting up, heart picking up its pace in your chest. You ran over for a quick, thoughtless hug that left his body partly on fire when you pulled away just as fast.

"Mars Bar." He uttered the old nickname endearingly, his voice cracking at the end of his words for some reason. He cleared his throat. "You're uh- you're here. In Chicago."

"Woah," Richie interrupted, coming in from behind, boisterous. "We've got a genius in The Beef, everybody!"

Sydney snorted from somewhere in the distance, but you couldn't even laugh because you'd been too busy staring at the way Carmen ran his hand through his golden hair that had been unruly since you were practically kids and still was.

"Yeah," you breathed, cringing at how awkward your voice sounded to your own ears. "I'm here."

The two of you held onto each other's gazes for a beat too long, scanning over the other wordlessly, taking in the changes that the years apart had brought.

"Well, uh," Carmen started, licking his lip to find strings of coherent words. "Do you wanna come into the office? Catch up?"

You nodded with a pleased tug of your lips. "Yeah, sure Carmen."

He nodded too and led the way, arm delicately resting on your upper back for a second in a way that left his fingertips buzzing, alive.

You entered the room after he did, the desk and walls littered with papers and sticky notes of different colors, an overload to the senses. It was stuffy, even with the door left open.

Before he turned to face you, he clumsily sorted some papers that'd been sitting on a wooden chair into stacks and pushed them onto the highest shelf above his desk so you could sit down, his white t-shirt slightly tugging upwards as he reached. Your eyes subtly followed the movement, eyes glancing steadily over a part of his lower abdomen that you felt alarmed at even sneaking a peak. That and the muscles that showed clearly from the short sleeves of his shirt.

God, you'd only been back in Chicago for a few days and your mind was already doing that thing it always did when you were around Carmen, like it didn't have the ability to think straight or act rationally when he was around.

"So, uh," Carmen started, turning his focus back to being one hundred percent on you. It became hard to concentrate when he did that, because he had the most piercing blue eyes you'd ever seen and you found over the years that they'd always had more than just one emotion swimming around in them. As you looked into them now, you still came up short in identifying them.

"What are you doing back in Chicago?" He looked at you like you were a puzzle, one he couldn't give up on solving. "Did the studies abroad finally start to bore you?"

"Yeah, they did," you joked, looking down at your lap. "Not really much to do in Europe compared to this place, you know?"

Carmen let out a wisp of a laugh, nodding, while also noting somewhere in the back of his mind that this was the first time he'd laughed in at least a few days. Your presence could always do that to him; Put him at ease when nothing else truly could.

"And, of course, I could only go so long being separated from the Berzattos."

He laughed again. That made twice. "Oh yeah?"

You nodded, playful in your words.

"I mean it." You did.

You let a comfortable silence nestle between the two of you, feeling the upward tug of your lips that you could only blame on Carmen. The thought left something alighted in your chest

"Seriously though." You say up a little straighter in your seat. "I guess the real reason I stopped by was because I was wondering if I could help out around here for a little while, now that I'm back home."

At this, the smile that had been resting on Carmen's face began to weaken.

"What?" His forehead creased, eyes dancing across your face with curiosity and disguised panic of his own.

Sensing his change in mood, you hurriedly continued. "I'll be home for a while and, you know, I just figured me getting a job here would be convenient and-"

"No."

You stopped mid-sentence, zeroing in on the man before you. "No?"

He had one hand leaning against the desk, the other's fingertips pressed to his forehead, head cast down, eyes evading yours.

"No, I- I'm sorry, Mars. We're ... we're not hiring right now. We don't need any new workers." At that, you frowned, taking in the tension in Carmen's stance and the tightness in his voice.

"I know The Beef is hiring right now, Carm." You gave him a disbelieving look. "In fact, I got the idea to work here from the flyers Sydney put up everywhere, so don't try and tell me you're not looking for new job applicants." You took a step closer to him, sensing something wrong and confused as to why he would lie, but he only seemed to be growing more agitated, shifting his posture upwards and no longer leaning on the table.

"That was a mistake, alright? I didn't ask her to do that. The Beef is doing perfectly fine, we don't need any extra help." Something sour was rotting in the undertones of his voice, the way he said the word help as if the thought of it was repellent.

"I didn't mean anything by asking. I ... I know you guys are doing fine, probably great even, I was just thinking that maybe I could-"

"We don't need any new fucking hires, Mars." He slammed his hand down on the desk, his tone raising so abruptly that it had you taking a step back in surprise.

When you looked up at him with alarm in your eyes, immediately his eyes began to soften, regret flooding through them. You held his gaze until those same eyes became taken over with this sudden guilt, almost sadness, flickering downwards towards his hands that moved to rest on his office desk, away from you.

You took a second to scan over the desk that was littered with papers and unsigned documents. It wasn't like Carmen to be unorganized, you knew that much. He had to be in a bad place to have his office look like this. Or, rather, Mikey's old office.

The room was a sensory overload, every inch of it a reminder of Mikey. Anyone would go crazy spending their days in here. Especially if that someone had been his little brother.

Carmen rubbed his hands over his face. You took a step next to him, resting a hand on his shoulder that lit aflame from the heat he gave off.

"For what it's worth," you started softly, and Carmen had to fight a shiver at how close your voice was to him. "I miss Mikey too."

He didn't make any movement to turn towards you, his jaw clenched and eyes still staring downwards. He didn't know what made you feel like you had to say that to him. He didn't need to look at you, though, to know you truly meant it.

"You can't work here," he said, his voice sounding defeated and a little far away. "I'm sorry."

Something restless in your heart was determined to make you fight back, figure out why Carmen was refusing you without a good reason. But something else inside of you softened at the way Carmen wouldn't meet your eyes, seeming guilt-stricken, and decided to back down. The hand that had been resting on his shoulder gave him a final squeeze.

You took your leave for the office door without Carmen moving an inch.

"Bye, Carm." Your voice was unfairly soft towards him, even if he felt like he didn't deserve the kindness that thrummed from your heart. "It was nice seeing you." You paused. "I've missed you."

Before he could turn to say goodbye, somehow communicate the 'I've missed you too' that he'd been meaning to express since he'd seen you, you had already turned down the hallway, out of sight. He knew for sure, then, that you didn't deserve that response from him. But he just didn't know how to tell you. How to explain without sounding ridiculous why alarms sounded in his brain at the thought of you working at The Beef.

He'd always known that you were destined for more than just the life you'd shared with him as kids, where you scored straight A's and were one of the top in your class. When you'd left for college while he stayed put, he didn't even let himself miss you, because he'd just wanted what was best for you. And when you furthered your studies even after college, traveling abroad, he knew that was the life you were meant for. To see you stopping all of that to work at The Beef, the place where his brother's dreams had become nothing but dead ends as time went on, wouldn't settle right inside of him.

Worst of all, he had visions of you working in the kitchen, behind the scenes where tensions were constantly overwhelming, of him losing his cool in front of you and you seeing a side of him he tried to keep you far away from. You'd always known the youngest brother Carmy, the world-class chef Carmy, the one who was at his best around you. He couldn't imagine what he would do if suddenly he revealed the Carmy he tried to hide; the Carmy who worked at The Beef, a bundle of unstable frustration who was barely hanging on, the Carmy who still didn't know how to live life without Mikey but who melted from your touch, who wanted more from the girl who'd been at his side for so many years as nothing but a friend, and a great one. He couldn't risk losing that.

Especially not with the condition of The Beef at the moment, which needed his full focus. Having you around would definitely not allow for that. So he convinced himself that this was for your own good. For his own good.

When you rounded the corner back out into the front of the restaurant, Richie was still there behind the counter, holding a phone to his ear.

You smiled at him a little tiredly and silently waved goodbye, walking towards the door.

Richie frowned, removing his focus from the phone call. "Where the hell are you leaving to so fast?" You spun around. "Don't tell me Carmy scared you off already."

You laughed awkwardly and thought of what to say, but must have taken too long to answer because Richie's face was already contorting with an over-the-top grimace.

"What'd that moron say to you, huh?"

You put a hand out, trying to calm him. "Richie, it's nothing, really-"

He was already stalking off towards the office, muttering something about 'killing Carmen'. You shook your head to yourself, because you knew how headstrong both of them were, and turned towards the exit. And, as you finally opened the glass door to leave, you could hear yelling and shouted vulgar words coming from the office. You didn't stay long enough to listen.

You didn't know what to think when it happened. You'd been sitting at home all weekend, alone, and honestly truly bored and wondering if coming back home was the right choice when your phone started ringing. You checked the screen and it was an unknown caller, but boredom had you picking it up anyway.

Mars Bar!

"Hello? Who is this?"

It's me.

"..."

Richie.

"Ohh ... right. How did you get my number again?"

I asked around. Anyways, it doesn't matter. I'm supposed to be telling you that you're gonna start work tomorrow.

"What? Start work? Where?"

At The Beef. C'mon Mars catch up with me here.

"Sorry, I'm just ... confused. Carmen told me you guys weren't hiring and that he couldn't give me a job?"

Oh, that. Don't worry about Carmy. I set that moron straight.

"What are you saying?"

I'm saying, you got the job kid!

"Richie, are you fucking with me right now?"

No! Why does everyone always think I'm fucking with them? I'm fucking serious hon.

"Okay, okay! I ... I believe you. I think."

You better! Carmy is really fucking stoked to have you work here, I mean it.

"He ... he is?"

Sure! So I better see your ass Monday morning, capeesh?

"Y-yea I guess so."

Your heart really should not have fluttered the way it did when Richie told you that Carmen was supposedly excited to see you. He hadn't sounded like it when you'd brought it up to him. In fact, he seemed strangely opposed to the idea, like you'd hit a sensitive area.

You weren't sure if you could really believe Richie. Like you'd always known, Carmen was stubborn as hell. The change of heart was unexpected, to say the least. You didn't know what to think. You still didn't know, as you walked through the front entrance of The Beef the next day, ready to start work. The only person to greet you at the front was Richie, standing behind the counter, per usual.

"Cousin!" He gestured you over. You greeted him back and rounded the corner to stand behind the counter next to him, unused to the feeling after spending years on the other side of it.

Richie spent at most two minutes giving you a rundown of what you'd be doing at The Beef, merely distracted by some yelling in the kitchen. The brief directions consisted mostly of taking orders and ringing a bell. A real challenge.

"Yeah, so that's basically it." He gave you a pat on the back and your front almost hit the counter at the impact.

"No paperwork or formalities or anything?" You were almost suspicious of the fast speed at which this had all happened. Richie whipped his head around like you'd stated something crazy.

"Formalities? C'mon, what are we, the fucking White House? This is a family business, Cousin."

He patted you on the shoulder roughly. "Thanks, Richie," you said, both slightly amused and slightly unnerved. You tapped your fingers on the marble countertop, trying to seem casual. "Where's um ... where's Carmy?"

Richie scratched his head. "He's, uh, he's busy. He'll be out soon. Don't you worry, shortcake." He gave you a wink that you didn't know what to do with and turned back towards the kitchen. You were gonna have to talk to him about those nicknames in the workplace sooner or later.

You called out to him before he left into the kitchen, hesitant. "You're sure Carmen said he wants me to work here, right?"

Your eyes bore into Richie's for a moment, and it was almost like you could see the thoughts in his head visibly swarming about. His shoulder raised. "Well, he didn't exactly say he wanted you to, but anyone with fucking eyes can see that he wants you-"

"Richie!" Your jaw hung open in utter annoyance and bafflement. He frowned at you.

"What?"

You almost scoffed. "Did Carmen really not say it was okay for me to work here?" You looked around, bewildered. "Does he even know I'm here?"

Richie gestured his hands out to you. "Sure he does!"

You could tell just from his tone what your answer was. You put a hand on your hip, shaking your head to yourself. "I'm going in there to talk to him."

"No!" Richie's eyes widened. "No. Just calm down, and I'll talk to him."

You stared at him disbelievingly. He stared back at you challengingly with the confidence only Richie could have. "I'll be back in no time. I know what I'm doing, trust me."

Richie didn't know what he was planning on doing when he opened the door to the kitchen in search of Carmen. He just hoped he wasn't using a knife when he found him.

He turned a few corners before Carmen was in his line of view, hunched over the counter as he worked busily on something Richie couldn't see. He leaned against the counter next to him, watching Carmen as his focus didn't even falter.

"Carm."

He didn't get a reply, just the back of Carmen's head as he focused on reading the piece of paper in front of him, hand braced against the shining surface it lay on.

"Carmy."

The man in question slowly shifted his focus to the man next to him, whose distracting presence had become impossible to ignore. "What? What is it?"

Richie peered down at him. "Promise that you won't get mad."

Carmen's eyes narrowed. "What the hell did you do?"

"Just promise me you won't fucking blow up at me like you always do."

"Why would I promise that if I don't even know what the hell you did?"

Richie tipped his head back exasperatedly. "Just say you promise!"

"I fucking promise! Okay?" Carmen ran a hand through his hair, moving it again to cross his arms. "Now, what is it?"

Richie paused, kicking out his foot and casually peering down at it with feigned interest. "Mars Bar is outside right now. Again."

Carmen's forehead creased and he looked over at Richie with sudden alarm. "What? Why? Is she okay?"

Richie gave him a knowing look, smug for a moment. "Yeah, she's fine." He shrugged. "I just, um, might have given her a job here up at the register."

Carmen's face was unmoving, his tone raising with poorly hidden anger. "You what?"

"And I might've also told her you really wanted her to work here."

Carmen's eyes scanned Richie's sporadically like he couldn't process his words fast enough. "Wh- Why the fuck would you do that? I already told her no-"

"Yeah, and I told her yes. Because you're an idiot and I'm saving your ass. You're welcome!"

Carmen ran a hand through his hair exasperatedly. "For what? Fucking me over?"

"I did not fuck you over, Carm, I'm doing this for you!"

Carmen shook his head, anger bleeding its way through his mind. "What the hell are you talking about? I told you, Richie, I don't want her anywhere near this place. I- I thought that was understood."

"No, it was not fucking understood because it was a stupid idea." Carmen let out a scoff as Richie put his hands out to Carmen in a calming gesture. "This is a good thing, trust me."

Carmen sputtered. "How the fuck is it-"

"Shut the fuck up and listen to me, Carm!" Richie shouted, bravely putting a hand up in front of Carmen's face. He pointed his finger at him which Carmen regarded with annoyance. "You need to stop being a moron and pushing away every single fucking female that tries to come within ten feet of you, alright?"

Carmen's brows furrowed even further, confusion building alongside anger. "I really have no goddamn idea what your point is here, Richie, but this has nothing to do with-"

"Oh spare me, Cousin!" He shouted. "We all know you've had the hots for Mars Bar over there since you were kids, alright?"

Carmen's mouth clamped shut immediately at this, his breathing coming out in fumes. He shook his head back and forth.

"Is this what this whole fucking thing is about, you jagoff?"

"Woah woah woah!" Richie cut in. "I am not the jagoff here, Cousin. I'm helping you out!"

"Richie's right, Carm," cut in Fak from behind, appearing suddenly out of nowhere like he always seemed to.

"Shut the fuck up, Fak!" Carmen held his head in his hand, trying to grab hold of his temper that he could feel slipping out of control. He needed to breathe.

"She can't work here."

Richie raised his arms in a shrug. "Well, you're gonna have to go tell her that yourself."

"I fucking will."

Carmen stormed off towards the kitchen door, ready to tell you yet again that you had to leave, a daunting thought overlooked thanks to adrenaline. Richie chuckled from behind him. "Yeah right, like you're gonna fire her."

Carmen didn't let himself listen to Richie any longer. Fists clenched at his sides, he opened the door and there you were, standing there, looking confused and a little surprised with parted lips.

Richie came up from behind and patted him on the back. "Go on, Carm. Tell her." You watched as Carmen's jaw clenched.

Carmen really wanted to tell you that you couldn't work here. That you had to go home. That you had to run far away from this place and go back to studying abroad and being more successful than any of them and all of that bullshit. Maybe it was because your eyes were shining a little too bright in the restaurant lighting, or that they looked a little too hopeful as they stared back at him with raised brows, waiting. But he didn't say anything of those things.

"You..." he started. Your eyebrows raised further. His palms suddenly became sweatier. He took a breath in.

"You, um," a beat passed. He licked his lip. "You're gonna need an apron."

Your eyes lit up even more if possible, and he thought his heart would give out. Then, you ran up and threw your arms around his neck in a tight hug, and he genuinely questioned if his brain had short-circuited because, by the time he came back to reality, you'd already pulled away and were practically jittering with excitement from in front of him.

"Thank you so much, Carm." Every time you smiled at him in that way he felt himself lose a bit of control. He didn't like the feeling. "You won't regret it."

He smiled back at you because he couldn't not. He wasn't so sure.

Carmen had given you your apron. When he'd handed it to you, you'd brushed fingers and your heart skipped a little beat at the contact. That had been the most eventful thing to occur within the next four days.

You'd done practically nothing at The Beef all week. There'd been a noticeable lack of customers coming into the restaurant to take orders, and those who did oftentimes came in just to see Richie, which had you leaning against the counter waiting and listening to their loud conversations with the man.

It felt like there was some sort of prank being played on you. Surely they wouldn't pay you money for doing absolutely nothing. All the waiting around doing close to nothing made you antsy, frustrated, and confused.

You'd been meaning to address this to Carmen, to ask what you were doing wrong, but getting a hold of him was near impossible. You'd seen so little of Carmen that you couldn't even be sure he came into work most days, the only confirmation being his shouts coming from the kitchen at the others. As embarrassing as it was to admit, you became jealous of them. You'd take Carmen shouting orders at you in the kitchen any day over him saying nothing to you at all. It almost felt like he was avoiding you.

It was a Thursday night, and the antsy feeling inside of you had you staying late at work that night, wiping down tables with an intense amount of fervor.

You'd thought you were the last one in The Beef. It'd been dark for hours, but you had nobody and nothing exciting waiting for you at home, so working a little extra couldn't hurt. And, if it made Carmen notice your position at The Beef at least a little bit, it would be worth it.

As your thoughts drifted to the man, something made a noise from the kitchen, and it became apparent to you that maybe you weren't the only one working late that night.

"Hello?" You'd said aloud, your voice slightly echoing in the vacant restaurant. No response was returned. You slowly went back to scrubbing down a table against the far wall from the kitchen door when it swung open, and there stood Carmen Berzatto in his patchwork wool jacket, looking like seeing you was the last thing he'd expected.

The sight was jarring to you for a number of reasons. You jumped up speedily and tucked the rag you'd been using to clean tables slightly behind you as if he hadn't already seen you using it.

"Mars Bar?" He said, the nickname falling easily from his lips like it was the only one he'd ever known you by. He eyed your tense stance.

"Hey, Carmen." Your smile was just as unnatural. His eyebrows pulled downward at you, eyes squinting and blinking confusedly in the dim lighting like he was fighting sleep.

"What are you doing here so late?" You nibbled at your own lip. Carmen, even from across the room, made sure to follow the movement. You noticed him eye the rag in your hands.

"I was just cleaning off some of the umm ... some of the tables." You didn't know why you sounded so embarrassed. You also didn't know what was going through Carmen's mind as he looked over you, and then over the spotless tables behind you.

"Wow," he began, running a hand through his hair. "You really didn't have to do all this. It's not ... it's not part of your job, you know?" A feeling bitter and stale simmered inside of you.

"I know." You stood up straighter. "Maybe I just wanted to.

You wanted to say more in the moment, tell him all of your frustrations, but you didn't. You just stared back at him and watched as he walked towards where you stood by the tables. You didn't move an inch.

His eyes surveyed the tops of the tables and he marveled at how clean they were. Not just clean, but almost sparkling, even in the low lighting that came from a single overhead lamp and the streetlights from outside.

"You did a great job, Chef."

Your eyebrows raised unintentionally. He'd never called you that before, though you'd heard the name from his lips aimed at others countless times. He noticed your reaction.

"What?" He asked, eyeing you curiously. He leaned back against the table next to you, his beautiful stare almost becoming a little too much for you after a long day. You shrugged.

"Nothing. It's just," you paused, "you've never called me that before."

His expression was slightly confused, slightly amused. "Well," he began, gaze shifting from the ground to you. "Now I do. You work here, don't you?"

The question settled uncomfortably in your chest, and you let out a laugh that sounded just as strained. "Hardly."

Carmen's eyebrows flashed downwards in a quick frown. "What do you mean 'hardly'?" You felt his eyes scanning your face, scanning you. "What's up?"

You went back to rubbing at the corner of a nearby table with your rag if only to distract yourself from Carmen's gaze and the petty way your words sounded coming from your lips.

"I mean," you began. "It feels like I haven't really done much of anything around here, you know?" When he didn't say anything back, you continued. "I've only taken a handful of customer's orders in the past couple of days. And, I know I'm not the best cook in the world but I could definitely help out in the kitchen with something. Maybe I could cut up some stuff, or prep it, or whatever you guys call it. Anything, really."

He didn't say anything right away, and you became horrified that you'd pushed his buttons too many times in the last week with your rants and that he'd finally send you on your way once and for all. Then, you heard something like a laugh come from him. You reeled back.

"Is something funny?" You asked, your tone uncharacteristically sour. He silenced his amusement and looked at you intently.

"You've always been such an overachiever, Mars."

You paused, then shook your head. "Oh please, we all know you're the ambitious one."

"No, not when we were kids," Carmen argued. "I was never great in school. You, on the other hand," he chuckled under his breath. "My mom would have me go check in on you whenever we hadn't heard from you on a night before a test. Make sure you weren't overdosing on coffee and pop."

You swore you could feel your heart beating in your chest at Carmen's revelation and the fondness in his voice.

"You know," Carmen began again, getting lost in memories. "I think my mom used to have this theory I'd marry you one day or something. Said you were the only girl who'd put up with my stubbornness."

Oh my God. Your head was spinning. Why was he saying this? He didn't know what the hell he was doing to you. Or your heartbeat, which was concerningly gaining speed. He never did.

All you could say was, "Oh?"

He laughed some more like this was something casual, something funny. You couldn't help but notice that forever present weight present in his eyes, though. Something he could never seem to shed.

"Yeah, well," Carmen began again, "my mother has also been mentally unstable for years, so." He jokingly trailed off, his voice dying in the silence, along with any butterflies you'd felt. You laughed quietly, even if laughing was the last thing you wanted to do when hearing that.

You felt like you were being suffocated. By him and his blue eyes and his dry, self-deprecating jokes and the small quirk of his lips. You were also getting restless because you'd started off trying to talk with Carmen about your job, and now were getting lost in the haze of your feelings for him which you decided were useless and would get you nowhere. You cast them aside the best you could and looked him directly in the eyes.

"Carmen," you said. His attention focused directly on you. "Did you listen to any of the things I said about working here?"

He nodded. "Yeah," he assured you. "Of course."

"So, will you take them into consideration? Let me do more, Carmen. I can do more."

There was a beat of silence. He fidgeted, like he did when he was a boy and couldn't focus in class, or when he was nervous around a girl he'd liked. Nervous around you.

He wanted to say yes. Hell, he would've given you anything you'd asked for just to see you happy. But he didn't know what the consequences of giving you a more important role at The Beef would achieve. What it might stop you from achieving. What it might do to him. So, he didn't say anything. Not anything direct.

"I know you can, Mars." He exhaled and then put his hands in his pockets, eyes cast down. He glanced at his watch. "It's almost midnight. We can talk about this more in the morning. Okay?"

His response was like a smack in the face. A sharp pain that left a dull ache. You let a breath out and tried to keep your face from revealing your stubborn frustration. You slowly nodded. "Okay."

Even if you tried to contain your emotions, Carmen could see it. He noticed it in the quick flare of your nostrils as you breathed, in the slight clench of your jaw. Stupidly, he asked, "Is that okay?"

You weren't looking at him. You were looking at your feet. You tapped your foot once. "Yes."

Even more stupidly, he asked, "Are you sure?"

You finally shifted your focus to him and he felt his own jaw clench at the way it sent a rush down his spine.

"Yeah, Carmen." That was the first time he didn't like the way you said his name.

"Alright," he said, nodding slowly, lifting his bag higher on his shoulder.

"Alright."

You lifted the rag from the table, stood there for a second, and walked towards the counter, where you wrung it out and slapped it down into a bucket full of other dirty rags, and left it there. You didn't feel much like putting it away.

Carmen hadn't moved and just stood there by the tables, watching as you collected your coat from behind the counter and turned off the lights as you walked past.

When he saw you walking towards the door, he rushed to get there first, to open it for you. You beat him to it, opening it yourself. He closed it and locked the door behind him. You both were engulfed by the dull chill of the air right away, and you couldn't help but shiver.

Carmen turned to you. "Let me drive you home." He didn't dare offer you a lighthearted smile or anything of that sort. He didn't think he had it in himself to be lighthearted, anyways.

You gifted him a polite one with a short tug of your lips. "I have a car. Thanks."

Carmen could've smacked himself right there. "Right." He didn't know what was wrong with him. "Sorry." The apology was for more than just his assumption, but he couldn't bring himself to clarify.

"I'll walk you to your car then?" He asked, though you knew no matter what you said he'd make sure you'd get to your car safely either way.

"Okay, yeah."

You both turned to walk to your car, Carmen letting you take the lead for a moment before catching up to walk side by side with you. You were hit with the reality that Carmen Berzatto was walking you to your car, alone with you, at midnight. A small gesture that had your mind buzzing from the contrast between your love for him and your frustration with him. Nobody had come close to making you feel the emotions Carmen made you feel, even if no words were shared between both of you on that short walk. It felt completely silent. Somehow, even if the streets of Chicago were anything but, it felt silent.

Carmen thought about how his life was full of silent moments, never saying what he truly wanted to, to the people he wanted to speak to the most. When he noticed you were cold, even through your jacket, he walked a little closer to you. Whether you noticed it or not, he didn't know, but at least it soothed a small part of his mind that was blaring that night, telling him that he'd fucked up with you. That you deserved better. He couldn't help but think that same thing when he was around you, all the time.

You'd both crossed the street to reach your car in not even a full minute, but the walk had felt eternal to you. When you turned to Carmen to tell him goodnight, he was already looking at you intently. You wanted to ask what he was thinking, but you didn't, and unlocked your car.

"See you in the morning, Carmen," you said, tone unrevealing. He gave you his best neutral smile.

"Yeah. See you, Mars."

You went to open your car door, but this time he beat you to it. Even if he made you angry, he was still Carmen.

You watched as he rounded the front of your car back to the sidewalk, hands in his pockets, soft breathing visible in the cold from the white puffs it made in the air as he breathed.

You gave him one last wave as a goodbye, but by that time he was pretty much out of vision, and then drove away.

He watched your car drive down the street, stop at the light, turn the corner, and then glide out of view.

Immediately, he knew he should've said more on the walk to your car. He should've at least apologized. He didn't tell you that he was sorry for being so shitty. He didn't tell you he appreciated everything you did. He also didn't tell you his car was parked on the opposite end of the street.

And as he walked back to it, crossing The Beef again with its spotless tables, he thought about nothing except you.

The next morning had you waking up with a headache that only worsened when you stepped foot into The Beef. Your coworkers were shouting and blurting out orders in typical kitchen lingo that you honestly didn't fully understand.

There seemed to be an underlying tension simmering in the air that morning that had everyone's voices raised just a little bit more than usual, echoing through to you from your designated spot behind the front counter.

You figured out soon that that tension came from the review of The Beef that had been put in the paper the night before. It was the same topic that had Sydney and Richie arguing back and forth for minutes on end next to you.

"So this is a war on poor people?" You heard Richie ask as you finally tuned back into their yelling. "I see you."

"No," Sydney yelled back. "This is a war on you shutting the fuck up and learning how to use the tablet! The end dude."

"What is the end?"

You turned to your left to see Carmen stride out of the kitchen, looking every bit intense, shoulders hunched and rigid. He glanced at you in some form of a greeting for only a second before putting himself between Richie and Sydney and somewhat settling their argument.

"Are we ready?" He asked them with a rushed tone.

"No!" Sydney snapped, but headed back into the kitchen with Richie, even if you could see she wanted to punch the man in the face.

You turned back around to watch Carmen as he hurriedly ran a hand through his hair and started to rush back into the kitchen. You tried to catch his eyes, but he didn't meet your gaze.

"Um, Chef?" You tried to call, reaching out an arm to get his attention just a hair too late, him brushing past you without taking notice of you.

"Carmen?" This time he turned around, head flipping around to focus on you with eyes shot wide in the rush.

"What's up?" He asked, eyes quickly assessing your face. For a second you forgot what you were supposed to be asking.

"Did you, um, think about what I said last night?" He blinked back at you. "You said we'd talk about it in the morning, so, could we maybe talk about it?"

With the way he stared back at you, for a second you could've sworn he'd forgotten what you were talking about. Then, it had clearly dawned on him and he squeezed his eyes shut for a second, holding out a hand to his head.

"No, yeah, right." He thought for a second, and then looked around, peeking into the kitchen, attention clearly spread elsewhere.

"Sorry," he said quickly. "Can we just ... talk about this another time?"

You tried not to show your frustration. "Like when?"

"Uh," Carmen started, but he was already backing into the kitchen. A loud clanging noise of pots and pans rang through to the front, and his focus was completely lost. "Who the fuck keeps denting my pans, Chefs?!" He shouted. He threw the kitchen door open and moved to go inside, but not before calling out "We'll talk later, Chef!" and disappearing into the kitchen.

You groaned. "Later," could mean any time between that day and Easter. You didn't want to blame Carmen. You knew he was extremely busy and tended to overwork himself. But something in the back of your mind told you he was avoiding you. You didn't like the feeling.

It'd only been maybe an hour into the day when all hell started to break loose in the kitchen. At least from what you could hear. There was three times as much yelling as usual and people were weaving through the station by the front counter and the kitchen, shouting sandwich orders. Meanwhile, you felt lost and unhelpful, with no direct answer as to what was going on.

You'd spent your time filling up the napkin dispenser and cutting green tape, feeling your uselessness in your bones. Maybe Carmen was right. Maybe you were overly ambitious. That didn't change the fact that now it seemed like not just Carmen, but everyone else had gone out of their way to keep you away from the kitchen.

You'd thought about going in there anyway, but thought better of it when listening to the commotion. That was, until you saw Marcus with his bags taking his leave towards the exit, a look of both anger and defeat on his face.

"Woah, Marcus," you called out with furrowed brows. "What's wrong? Where are you going?"

He let out a quick breath from his nose that sounded like it was supposed to be a wry laugh. He pointed towards the back. "Anywhere but in that kitchen." You frowned and he shook his head. "He's losing his shit, man."

You were confused and looked to him for more of an explanation, but he was already walking out the door and it didn't seem like he had any plans of coming back. You wanted to ask him "who?", but you had a sinking feeling in your gut telling you that you already knew just who he meant.

That and the loud "Fuck!" that came from the other side of the wall was the last push you needed to finally storm into the litchen. As soon as you walked in, it was a complete overload to your senses. The sounds and smells of sizzling food, the clunky buzzing of timers, and an argument at practically every corner. What had you reeling to a stop, though, was the sight of Carmen shouting truly throat-tearing orders, face turning red with exertion, hair damp from sweat, skin gleaming in the sight.

"Can somebody get me a Sharpie that fucking works?!" he screamed while whipping a Sharpie out of his hand and onto the ground. Your eyes widened at the sight.

"Woah," you said aloud, not even meaning to say the word but being unable to stop yourself. When you did, Carmen's focus switched onto you in a second and you could see the pure chaos held behind his eyes.

"Wh- what the fuck are you doing in here?"

You frowned at his abruptness. "I just wanted to know what the hell is going on in here-"

"Nothing is going on in here."

Someone laughed from around the corner and about three more timers began to buzz and beep.

"Oh please, I've been hearing screaming for hours and then I see Marcus storming out of here with his things saying you've lost it."

At that, Carmen paused, eyes searching yours intently. "Marcus left?"

"Yeah," you answered steadily, unsure of how exactly he'd react. "It looked like he was quitting."

For a second, it looked like Carmen felt guilty, sad, but then he was fuming and slamming his hands down on the counter.

"Fuck!" He shook his head back and forth like he was rummaging through a thousand thoughts swirling around his head. He shouted again. "Fuck!"

You didn't like the sight before you, or the way Carmen seemed to be losing control of himself, and quickly. "Now can you tell me what the problem is?" You almost pleaded. "I could help."

Carmen hardly bothered to look you in the eyes and strode past you to reach the oven you'd been standing by, lifting the lid of a pot and adjusting the heat at lightning speed.

"You're not seriously ignoring me right now when I'm offering to help-"

He put up a hand. "I told you I'd talk with you later, Mars. Go back to the register."

You scoffed. "What the hell are you talking about? That's-" you shook your head. "I'm not leaving until I at least know what the fuck is going on."

"You wanna know what the fuck is going on?" Richie shouted out, laughing to himself loudly as he appeared from behind the corner. "Some moron left the pre-order option open on her beloved tablet overnight and now we're 250-something beefs behind schedule!"

Your head was spinning from the news and from the lack of air in the kitchen, but the yelling kept coming.

"Okay, well, the 'moron' is right here and she has a name, thank you," cut in Sydney, livid. "And there is no fucking way you are putting all the blame on me right now, Richie-"

"Who else's fucking fault is it sweetheart?"

"Richie, I swear to God if you call me that one more time-"

"Shut the fuck up!" Carmen's booming voice split the two of them apart. "Shut the fuck up and get back to work!"

They listened and went back to their stations angrily mumbling to themselves. That didn't change the fact that you knew the kitchen was in deep shit and Carmen was one wrong move away from losing his mind. You watched as he stormed around the kitchen to different stations. You'd be an idiot if you just stood at the register waiting for more nonexistent orders.

"Sydney," you called out as she passed by. "What can I do to help?"

She raised the corners of her lips in a slightly surprised smile and thought for a second.

"You can probably start by helping me with peeling these potatoes for now." She handed you a basket filled with potatoes and pointed towards a metal peeler on the counter. You quickly nodded.

"Okay, on it, Chef."

"Great. Oh, and-"

"Sydney, what the fuck are you doing?" yelled Carmen as he rounded the corner behind Sydney. He glanced angrily back and forth between you and the potatoes in your hands.

Sydney rolled her eyes. "What does it look like I'm doing, Chef? I'm getting us some very much necessary extra help."

"We don't need any fucking extra help right now!"

Sydney turned fully to face him. "Carmy what the fuck is your problem right now? Just let her fucking peel some potatoes!"

Carmen was breathing heavily, a vein in his neck visibly contracting."I told you guys she stays out front. I told everyone she's not supposed to-"

"Excuse me?" You asked, cutting in. He was talking about you like you weren't standing right behind Sydney, hearing his every shouted word. "Sydney's right. You need to stop getting so worked up about this!"

Carmen looked like he wanted to scream. To break out into shouts even louder than even those from this morning. You'd only seen Carmen worked up like this a few times before and even then he knew when he was taking things too far.

He didn't say anything back to you and just turned away.

"Someone just get her out of here!" He hollered, to anyone who'd listen. Anyone but you. Somehow, that was even more angering than his yelling.

"Hey!" You yelled, shoving his shoulder back to turn him to face you. He glanced down towards the same shoulder before looking back towards you. You saw something haughty flash behind his eyes as they stared back at you. "Whatever you need to say about me, you can say it to me, Carmen."

He was definitely speaking to you now.

"I need you to stay the fuck out!" He pointed a finger down at you. "You never fucking listen to me! I gave you this job because you fucking asked me to, because Richie fucking asked me to. So how about you finally listen to me and stay the fuck out?!"

You knew everyone had stopped to watch. It was quieter in the kitchen than it had been all morning.

You both stood standing there with heavy breathing. Your mind couldn't think of what to say back in that moment, but a thousand different responses played through your mind. Things you wanted to ask, to shout, to make sure he understood.

Your stare bore into Carmen's own for a few seconds, noticing the anger in them, but also something fragile threatening to shatter and reveal itself. He looked away from you quickly, bracing a hand on the counter.

"Leave, Chef." He said. You didn't need to be asked twice. Not that he was asking.

"Yeah," you laughed under your breath. You untied your apron and left it on the counter. "I definitely will."

He could call you Chef, but he wouldn't even let you enter the kitchen. He could yell at you, but he couldn't even look you in the eyes as you finally left the kitchen.

Another timer went off in the background as Carmen stood there, mulling over what he'd just done in his head; the one thing, most of all, he didn't want to happen.

Sydney shook her head, brushing past him. "Carmen Berzatto, you are a fucking idiot."

He didn't have anything to say, nothing to argue back with. He knew she was right. And as he heard the front door jingle as a sign of you leaving, he also knew just how badly he'd fucked up.

You didn't come to work the next day, or the day after that. Carmen never got to listen for the jingle of the doorbell as you came into work. He didn't get a single glimpse of you, those glimpses that were like caffeine shots, keeping him going every day. He didn't see your warm, familiar eyes that reminded him why he kept going in the first place. This was what he got for trying to keep you at arm's length. For being an asshole. The regret knawed at him painstakingly.

When the first hour went by and you didn't show up, he didn't need anyone to tell him that you wouldn't come into work that day. He had Richie cover the register in your place, an order shouted quickly as he was forced to think about things other than you. And as the day went on, the fact that he didn't know when he'd see you again was a heavy weight that lay in his chest, waiting to be addressed.

You awoke that morning in your apartment, phone lighting up beside you on your bedside table to four missed calls all from the same person. A person you didn't really feel like talking to much.

You checked the time and saw it was almost noon. It wasn't like you to sleep in. And, you hadn't called in sick to work. Not that it mattered.

The next day went the same. You hadn't called in sick that morning either, but you didn't have it in you to care. You didn't even know if you wanted to come back, but there was a twisting feeling inside of you that you knew wouldn't feel release until you settled things with Carmen. The hard part would lay in being upfront with him, not letting him make any excuses, and not letting yourself soften all because he was Carmen Berzatto. A battle between your pride and whatever you felt for him.

Carmen had called you two more times, but soon, the calls stopped coming. Carmen may have been an asshole at times, but he wasn't an idiot. In fact, he was extremely smart. And definitely smart enough to know that calling you repeatedly would get him nowhere, not when he'd been as awful as he had.

You'd spent the day driving around running errands that left you tired with boredom. The sun was setting as you walked back to your own front door, the air crisp and clear from the cold while your mind felt anything but. You reached your front doorstep and unlocked the entrance to your apartment, only to step forward and feel something crunch and mash underneath the heel of your shoe. You lifted your foot and glanced downward.

A candy bar. You peered down further. A Mars Bar.

Something inside of you paused. Maybe your heartbeat, maybe your thoughts. You weren't sure but you could feel it. The now half-smushed candy bar lay on the floor like a bittersweet memory.

You blinked. There was a note. It looked like it had been torn from the corner of something messily. More importantly, there was writing on it, in pencil, words pressed hard into paper.

I'm an asshole. You don't deserve that.

No name, but you knew who it was from. Not a "sorry" in sight, but you knew he was trying. You could almost feel the intent behind the words etched into the paper as you held it. You wanted to be furious still. And you definitely were mad. But maybe not as much. Because you knew Carmen.

You knew he had the temper of someone who'd just lost a brother, of someone who'd grown up in a screaming Berzatto household in the heart of Chicago. You'd never taken his outbursts to heart and you didn't want to now. Besides. You knew, eventually, you'd miss him too much to ignore him.

So much for not giving in to Carmen Berzatto.

You didn't really know what plan you had when you walked back towards your car, sat down, placed the chocolate bar and note in your bag, and drove. You didn't think you had one. You just were aware that your days away from The Beef had been extremely boring and that you wanted to see Carmen. To hear what he had to say to you. Even if it didn't end the way you wanted.

The familiar path to The Beef stretched before you now as an uncertain one. When you got there, you tossed your bag over your shoulder and got out of your car to the sight of the lights off in the front of the restaurant. But, if you knew anything about Carmen, you knew he'd stay late. Your assumption was proven right when you entered through the unlocked door—a slightly concerning fact—and saw the harsh white light of the kitchen flooding through to the rest of the place.

You hesitated to enter, not sure if you really knew what you were doing, but ignored the thoughts plaguing you and walked carefully into the kitchen, waiting at the door when you saw him.

He faced mostly away from the door, from you, hunched over the counter doing something that had his full focus, enough of it that he didn't notice you at first. You saw he had a toothbrush in hand and that he was determinedly scrubbing at the silver countertop surface that already sparkled spotlessly. Clearly, he didn't notice or care.

It felt like you were holding your breath as you watched him, saw how focused he was, how the muscles in his back flexed and churned with each precise movement he made as he scrubbed at a nonexistent stain. Like he held a desire to erase more than just grime.

He did that for what felt like another minute without pause, and you watched the whole time wordlessly, not wanting to break the focus he had and not knowing what to say regardless. Part of you just wanted to watch him, to see how long he could keep at it without noticing you. It wasn't for too long.

He lifted his posture upright and ran a hand through his hair, inhaling deeply with little exhale as if something weighty was plaguing him. Then, he finally sensed your presence at the doorway, eyes flicking towards you as his moments came to a halt. You watched him part his lips as he thought about what to say.

He shakenly said your name, a fragile plea. The word was soft coming from his lips like he knew it well, but nestled in your brain with surprise as he called you by your real name, not just a nickname. You didn't know what to say, so you didn't say anything at all.

As he looked at you standing in the doorway, he felt exposed, like you could see through any walls he'd tried to build around himself. Words faltered from his brain. His lips parted again as if he was going to say something more, but they shut just as quickly and he ran a hand over his chin. He gestured that hand out to you.

"You uhm- did you get my note?"

You stared back at him for a beat before nodding and reaching into your bag. You held the note out in front of you, the side of your mouth quirking upwards. "Was this Carmen language for 'I'm sorry' ?"

You were half kidding and half serious, a test hidden in your words. The fact weighed on Carmen's brain, his demeanor more nervous than usual, more anxious.

"Yeah, uhm," he scrunched his eyes closed for a half second before walking towards you, taking the note from your hand and reading it to himself again, feeling the warm haze of shame creeping up on him. "Let me translate."

He read it once more. "Well, the 'I'm an asshole,' is pretty verbatim. I'm an asshole, and an idiot, and a bunch of other bad things." He glanced up at you from the paper and was relieved to see that you seemed at least a little amused. He continued. "And the 'You don't deserve that', you see, that's the good part, it translates directly to 'I'm sorry for yelling at you ' and 'it doesn't matter how stressed I was, I shouldn't have taken it out on you. That was wrong of me. And ... you're great.' "

Your eyebrows raised. "That's quite the translation."

Carmen laughed to himself breathily, but it held little amusement. "Yeah, I've been told communicating with me is like trying to tame a wild animal."

You smiled. "Who told you that?"

"Sugar."

Your laugh was warm and sounded like home. It was a feeling that left as fast as it came because soon the air between the two of you seemed to thicken with unspoken words and unresolved emotions. The heavy silence lay bare and neither of you decided to fill it right away.

"Carmen."

The way you said his name sent shivers down his spine, a sensation that never ceased to affect him. He nodded at you, eyes studying your face showing that you had his sole attention.

"I know you don't like the idea of me being here. You don't have to try and hide it." His eyes widened as you spoke."But, could you at least tell me why?"

He stared back at you, brows furrowed like he was confused. It was like you could see the gears turning in his brain as he fought to find the right wording, revealed by the stiffening mass of his shoulders that never seemed to relax.

"I don't not like you being here, Mars Bar." He spoke slowly. "I think it's great that you're back in Chicago. I ... We've missed you."

A subtle warmth lay in his gaze, but you couldn't help but feel it was dimmed by whatever emotion he'd been suppressing, the battle evident in flickers in the blue of his eyes.

"I want to believe that, but with the way you've been avoiding me, how can I?"

"Avoiding you- that's," he shook his head, almost seeming incredulous, and you watched as he swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing as he did. "I haven't been trying to avoid you."

You didn't know how he could sound surprised, how you could've interpreted the way he's acted all week as anything else. "Well that's definitely what it's felt like when I tried talking to you all week, and you're just ... I don't know, dismissive."

He rubbed a hand at the nape of his neck, focus pitched somewhere that wasn't at you, jaw tightening slightly. "I just ... it's busy around here trying to bring in enough money, and there have been a lot of different things that have my focus right now," he started, as if he hadn't, time and time again, had to remind himself to stop thinking about you.

"Carmen, I know you're busy but that-," you tried to keep your emotions from showing through your voice, but you were aware of the tinge of frustration that was slipping through. "I know that's only part of it. I just need you to be more transparent with me. I can't read your mind."

He nodded, silently thanking God that you couldn't. He swallowed again and you noticed a tremor in the way he held the note he'd written, a sign of unease that he quickly hid in the pocket of his jeans.

"I'll tell you anything you want to know." His blue eyes stared into yours, though you could sense the reluctance in his voice. "But I'm not gonna lie and say that I think it's a good idea for you to stay here."

You felt yourself frown, brows tugging downwards in frustration and confusion. "Why?"

His gaze faltered for just a moment, seeming torn, but he was quick to regain his momentum. "This place is ... it's not meant for someone like you."

You squinted at him, feeling a mix of disbelief and irritation. "Someone like me?"

"Yeah, I just mean," he hesitated, hearing the way you repeated his words, like they were meant to insult. "You were supposed to leave here and finish your studies abroad and achieve great things. Things bigger and better than this shit hole. You were gonna-"

"Carmen, stop." You almost scoffed to yourself. "My plans were always to stay close to home. A few months abroad weren't gonna change that." The air in the room seemed to thicken with the weight of the words you both shared, the thoughts never said allowed before. You noticed your breathing was becoming labored as you failed to understand the way Carmen's mind worked, the way he tried to communicate so much by doing so little.

"This whole time you were worried about me supposedly being meant to achieve great things, but what about you?" You let out a stunned laugh. "You're the one who studied with the best of the best, traveled all over, became a world-class chef and everything else, and now you're overworking yourself at this place and refusing help."

"Yeah, well, that part of my life stopped when Mikey gave this place to me as a final fuck you, so."

Your heart twinged not only at the name, but at the way Carmen's eyes flashed with hurt while his words could've cut stone.

"Mikey gave this place to you because he trusted you," you reasoned. You tried to make him come down from wherever he was, to detach himself from the hurt and open up. The hard plane of his shoulders lifted once in a shrug, with a small shake of his head as he stared at the ground.

"Yeah well, he just ended up fucking screwing me over."

Carmen's frustration seeped into his voice, the way he emphasized each word like he wanted to release whatever was simmering under the surface. You wanted to reach out, tell him that he could, but you held yourself back and stood up taller.

"That doesn't mean you should push people away from this place. Push me away. I could help out here. I saw how hectic it was the last time I was here and-"

"That day was a fluke," Carmen cut you off. "It's not usually like that..." his jaw worked. "I'm not usually like that." His words were laced with exasperation and a little bit of shame. You could tell he was struggling to keep his emotions in check.

"Carmen, I understand. But-"

"I already blew up at you." His voice cut into the air harshly. He looked away, his chest rising as he tried to control rising frustration. "I didn't mean to do that, I don't... I'm not gonna let that happen again." His words were starting to come out in a rush, escaping his control, something you knew never sat well with him.

"Well, that's my choice to make, Carmen, not one that you can make for me."

"Mars, The Beef isn't- you don't want to settle for this place, just trust me."

"How can I trust you when you've done nothing but push me away since I got here?" You heard the tremble that was growing in your own voice, a mix of hurt and anger. "You've told me a million times what I want and don't want. Have you ever stopped to ask me what I wanted? Seen my point of view?"

Carmen's breathing was picking up too, the crystals that were his eyes looking at you with a mixture of defiance and desperation. He ran a hand over his face.

"I've tried to see your point of view."

"Have you?" you snapped back.

"I gave you the job even though I knew it was a bad idea, I went against what I knew just because it was you and I let Richie convince me it was a good idea, and I am fucking done listening to Richie's ideas-" his breathing was becoming uneven as his emotions threatened to overwhelm him.

"Hey, Richie's done a lot more to help me since I've gotten back than you have, and a lot more listening!" Now you were yelling, and he was yelling and you didn't like the direction this was going.

"Yeah, well did Richie tell you this place was hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt when Mikey gave it to me? Did he tell you we probably couldn't even afford to pay you a decent fucking salary?"

You opened your mouth, expecting to be equipped with a response as fast as the ones that came before, but that didn't happen and you didn't say anything. You let your eyes scan Carmen, searching for a hint that he wasn't serious, but he looked wholeheartedly sincere and angered. In fact, he looked like he was fighting to even breathe steadily.

You looked at him concernedly, taking a step closer, but he just continued, laughing to himself without joy. "He didn't fucking tell you. Of course not."

His breaths were harsh, coming from his nose and lifting his chest repeatedly. His arms slapped down at his sides, hands trembling. "See, that's why I fucking told him I didn't want you anywhere near this crap hole, I fucking told him-"

His yelling stopped. He recoiled, backing up into the counter recklessly, a pot falling behind him with a clang that had you flinching. His vision was pointed downwards towards the ground, but he was frowning so hard you were sure he couldn't see anything at all, hand to his chest, gripping.

"Carmen?" You asked, alarm suddenly overtaking you and washing away whatever anger had been bubbling inside of you. "Wh- are you okay?"

It took him a second to even process what you'd said, another to respond. "I'm fine, I-" you put a hand on his shoulder to brace him, feeling how tense it was, feeling it trying to move with the effort of his shallow breaths. Panic, shame, embarrassment, everything, seemed to claw at his chest, constricting his breathing even more. "I just- fuck, I can't- I can't-"

"You can't breathe," you said, understanding what was going on now with another flash of alarm that you hid, trying to stay calm. He nodded shakily.

"Carmen," you said steadily. To him, the sound of your voice was distant, overshadowed by the sound of his heart pounding loudly in his ears, muffled the way voices sounded when from underwater. Carmen knew he wasn't underwater. You called his name again, and he did his best to hear it. "You're having a panic attack."

He managed to shake his head again. "I'm fine. I just- shit." His legs practically gave out from underneath him and he braced one hand on the table behind him, one on your shoulder.

The sight of Carmen collapsing to the ground had you wanting to release a sob, but instead, you threw Carmen's arm around you and somehow managed to take two steps towards a bucket that was on the floor against a near wall and got him to sit down on it unsteadily.

You took both of his hands in yours, noticing how his shoulders shook, how the bottom of his neck tinted red from the straining effort to breathe.

"Carmen," you called, kneeling down to his level and giving his hands a squeeze. His vision was blurred, staring downwards, but the hazy sight of his hands wrapped up in yours gave his mind a moment's peace before he was struggling to focus again.

You took a deep breath in, feeling selfish that you even could. "Carm, do your best to look at me." You purposefully slowed your words, spoke softly and clearly, and Carmen heard. You took one hand and rested it by his cheek, hair pooling into your fingers. You brushed it back, and ran your thumb across the rise of his cheekbone, lifting his face to look upwards at you. Even when his mind could hardly form coherent thoughts, your touch still affected him like no one else's.

Once his eyes were on you, you took the hand that was still holding his and placed both on your own chest, covering the area of warm skin close enough to feel your heartbeat. A tremor rolled through him, at your hand, at the way you felt, at your touch.

You. You were here, he thought, and that was a comfort to him in itself.

"Here," you said, pressing down gently but firmly on his hand. "Can you feel my heartbeat?"

Carmen tried, really tried, but his head wasn't focusing no matter what he did. You noticed his struggle right away, like he didn't even have to form words for you to know.

Hurriedly, you took off your jacket and threw it to the ground beside you. Carmen heard the sound of a zipper before his hand was taken in yours again and placed on your chest. This time, the underside of his hand felt warmer, closer to you, to skin.

"How about now?" you asked. His eyes were shut, and he really did his best to focus this time, tune into you, into the way your chest moved up and down beneath his hand, and with it, he heard the soft and steadying rhythm of your heartbeat.

"Yeah, I- I feel it."

You let yourself smile slightly, trying to take slow and deliberate breaths. "Carmen, I need you to do your best to match your breathing with mine." You looked at him and the way his features were scrunching with the effort of trying to listen to you. "Can you do that for me?"

He nodded. He'd do anything for you.

He focused on only his hand, yours, and you. Your chest underneath his palm, warm, and steadying, and alive. He felt it rise once, and fall, all in the time that he let out multiple staggering breaths.

The next time yours rose, he didn't let himself exhale until you did, taking in air from his parted lips and releasing it through his nose, feeling how the air spread thin throughout his body, a good feeling. He did that again, focused on the way his fingertips grazed bare skin, on the sound of your heart beating, in time with his now.

Behind the blank nothingness of his eyelids, scenes played out before him. Visions of his past, echos of familiar voices, spurts of color and light overtaking him.

Then, he thought of you, of the warmth of your gaze, even if he didn't deserve it. The shine of your skin, the way it looked soft even in the harsh light of the kitchen. Thoughts of you, you with him, years ago, months ago, and days, how he'd seen you for the first time in months, standing behind the counter with a smile sweet like the chocolate bars you'd always liked, the one he'd left at your doorstep, a weak attempt at salvaging one of the best relationships he'd ever known. He'd buy a million more if it meant you'd stay with him, by his side, like you'd been for years. Like you were now.

He didn't know how much time had gone by, but he opened his eyes and you were still there, still holding onto him, face looking calm but eyes swirling with emotion. With concern.

He felt fine now, his body having enough strength to support him, but he leaned into you regardless, head sunk down, resting in the place beneath your chin, on your chest. He wanted to get as close to your heartbeat as possible, not just feel it with his hand but surround himself with it.

You brought your hands up to envelop him, one resting on the white cotton covering the hard muscles of his back, rubbing it soothingly, the other coming up to rest in his hair again, gently brushing through the strands closest to the root as if to say I'm here, I have you.

You leaned your own head down to slightly rest on the back of his, mouth brushing against the crown of his head in a way so delicate he wasn't even sure he felt it. But you saw the way he melted into your touch, felt the way the muscles in his back slowly seemed to release tension at each caress. He needed to be held. But he was him, he'd never ask for it. But, you were you, and you'd always know.

You stayed like that for minutes more, though you would've held him all night if he needed it. When he sat back up, the whites of his eyes were tinted pink, and one of his cheeks was gleaming in the light, damp. You didn't comment on it. You didn't say anything at all but stood up from where you knelt and walked towards the counters, peeking underneath them until you found what you needed. You stopped at the sink and returned to your spot in front of Carmen with a plastic deli container filled with water in hand. You offered it to him wordlessly.

"Thank you," he said, taking it from you gingerly, but his voice was hoarse and he felt the red heat of embarrassment as he took large sips of the water, draining it halfway at once. A water droplet escaped from the side of the cup, dripping down his chin, and your eyes followed the movement until you felt guilty about it and stared down at your own hands. The two of you let the silence rest as it was, peaceful and healing, until you felt ready to break it.

"I'm sorry," you said, slightly a surprise for yourself to hear the words from your mouth, but you meant them. Carmen sat back up. "For pushing you to this point. I didn't mean to-"

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Carmen spoke quietly, voice somehow steady. "It- ... that wasn't your fault. It's happened before, when you weren't here."

You let your eyes scan over his face concernedly because he wasn't looking straight at you and you always felt the need to look after him, even if he wouldn't let you.

"This has happened before?" Carmen gave a weak shrug, like this wasn't something he thought about on his own, something he ever let occupy his focus.

"Something like it."

You made a breathy sound of disbelief. "Shit, Carmen."

So many thoughts were demanding your attention, too many. You wanted to tell him how this wasn't supposed to be a normal occurrence, how not okay it was to ignore his mental well-being. Shake him silly for never caring about the right things, for never caring about himself enough. To give him yet another lecture on letting you help him, on letting anyone help him.

"It wasn't as bad this time." His voice paused all your thoughts. "I think it was because you were here."

You didn't know how to respond, but he finally looked into your eyes and saw how much they spoke for you, how they widened, and then blinked once or twice, shying away. Almost like you were guilty, like you were sad. Something inside of him reminded him that he was probably part of the reason for that, and that ate away at him more deeply than any of his, like you said, panic attacks, ever had.

"I'm sorry, Mars."

Your eyes flicked up to his immediately, intention behind them. "You never need to apologize for having a panic attack, Carmen."

"No, for- for not just that." He paused. "For being an ass. For yelling at you. For not listening to you."

You looked at him wordlessly. You didn't want to say it was okay, because you'd be lying if you said that, if you didn't acknowledge how his words still rang sharply in your head. But you'd be lying to yourself if you didn't admit that Carmen certainly made things feel okay when he was calm like this, understanding. Peaceful.

"And I'm sorry for all the shit I gave you about not listening to me."

You let out a quick breath, almost a laugh. "To be fair, I ... didn't."

His heart seemed to swell at even just the hint of laughter that coated your voice.

"Yeah. You don't listen to me." He let the side of his mouth quirk up to match yours. "That's the thing I love about you." Internally he thought, just one of many.

You stared up at him. At the way his eyes seemed to look over your face in adoration. It did something to your heart, pulled on the strings of it, and left it panging in your chest. He noticed right away.

"You alright?" His concern and furrowed brows almost made you want to laugh.

"Yes I'm-," you exhaled. "I'm fine. The real question is, are you alright?" He watched as your eyes flitted all around his face. "To be honest, you don't seem it."

He self-deprecatingly chuckled. "Wow, thanks, Mars."

You shook his arm a little bit, expression disbelieving. "I'm serious."

You thought about how tense he'd been underneath your touch, how tense he'd seemed for the many days that you'd been back home. How that couldn't be healthy for anyone.

"You need to start taking better care of yourself, Carmen." You made sure he was hearing your every word. "Your mental health is important. More important than any job. You have to stop worrying so much about The Beef and start worrying more about you."

He ran a tired hand over his eyes, immediately feeling the urge to look away. "If I didn't put as much as I did into this place, I don't even think it'd still be up and running."

You let the words hang between the both of you for a moment, knowing how important this was to him. It was important to you too.

"I know how much you've done for this place, Carm." You took his hand in yours again. "You care about it a lot, always have. I have too. But you know the toll it's taking on you. That's not good for anyone, and it'll only last so long. And ... that's why I think you should take any help you can get, for now."

As soon as the topic left your lips again, you felt his hand stiffen in your hand, mouth opening to argue, but you held up a hand.

"And before you say anything, I don't care about the full salary, I don't I care about traveling, or 'wasting my potential' or any of that. I care about helping this place, making sure it lasts, for Mikey." You breathed. "And for you. I care about you."

He could feel his own heart start to race in his chest, flustered like he hadn't known you for years, like you weren't one of his oldest friends.

"I care about you too," he said, and the words felt shamefully foreign on his tongue, thinking about how little he'd ever actually said the words. "That's part of why it's hard for me to think about you working here. You mean a shit ton to me. More than anyone else in this damn place."

"You don't mean that." You couldn't stop the way your brows pushed together, looking down at your hand that was holding Carmen's rough and callused ones. "What about Richie, or Fak, or Sydney-"

"They mean a shit ton to me too, but it's ... not the same. You're you."

He looked into your eyes, trying to see if you'd recognized his hints, but he picked up emotions other than the realization. On a frown, on reluctance, on a guarded, shy look.

"I'll always be me, Carmen." You bit at the inside of your cheek, putting off the topic like you weren't important. That was a foreign idea to him. "That doesn't matter. What matters is you not accepting help."

You saw the way his demeanor shifted at your words, a sense of uncomfortableness settling in his bones, revealing itself in the way he sat up straighter. Your grip on his hands was still firm, unwavering, like all you wanted was to make him understand.

"Carmen," you called, but he was already staring at you. "Promise me that you'll let other people take care of you, help you get by. Let me help you."

He was grateful for the way he was positioned, elbows leaning on knees, hands held by yours, because it was stabilizing him, grounding him when he felt like running. He knew that if he wanted to keep you around, keep you by him, he couldn't do that. That didn't change the fact that this was new to him.

"I, um,"

"It doesn't have to all at once." You gave him a smile, a real one, because you knew he was trying. Breaking out of old habits, for you. "One step at a time."

You were back home. Him pushing you away in his head, running, but only in his mind, didn't change that. He didn't want it to. Despite the pull of his mind telling him to hold you at a distance, the push of his heart wanted you. It was drawn to the cradle of your hands, the warmth of your smile.

"I promise."

Your smile grew to a grin that tugged at the sides of your glowing eyes, eyes that sparkled with affection like they held a hidden invitation, a plea for him to let you in. He finally did, and he knew so fully that he would've made that promise to you time and time again if it meant he could have you and see that smile as much as he wanted.

Your fingers brushed the back of his hands as you stood up from where you were kneeling, letting out an exhale that he noticed sounded almost weightless, a change from the burdened way it sounded to him before. The thought put him at ease.

He stood up too, watching you as you retrieved your jacket and put it on, him feeling the urge to help you with even just that. When you focused back on him, the etches of a smile still lingering on your face, it was magnetic. He couldn't look away. You couldn't either.

You stared at the way a hundred different colors danced in the blue of his eyes, a miraculous feat that you'd loved from the start. As you looked at each other, eyes saying more than your mouths had the courage to, your smile grew slowly, heartbeat picking up in your chest.

"Let me walk you to your car," you coaxed, gesturing towards the door. He laughed at the random idea, breaths escaping through his nose.

"What? Why?"

You shrugged, smile and features and everything, warm. "Call it the first step to you fulfilling your promise to me."

Knowing how he'd iced you out, he embraced that warmth. Made it his new home. "Yeah," he nodded. "Okay."

You gestured for him to follow you, he did, and that was all he had to do. You turned off the lights behind the both of you, locked the door, and didn't ask him to do a thing, just to see the amused look on his face when you smiled at him, his eyes staring back at yours like you were a wonder, something rare to be loved and kept safe.

As you walked back to his car, that was all he could think about. How he'd come across this ray of light in his life that was you, and how you'd stayed by his side, a miraculous idea but he didn't even want to dwell on that too much because it took him away from this moment being shared between the two of you, alone, the cold nipping at your skin but it not mattering because too much had happened that night to care.

The moment seemed to come to an end all too quickly. Carmen had stopped once you'd both reached his car, and you did too. He became aware of the feeling of you next to him, savoring it because he knew it'd end the moment he got into his car.

"Carmy," you said, extending the moment just a little longer. He hummed in response, watching as you stuffed your hands in your coat pockets.

"Can you promise me one more thing?"

He nodded, not missing a beat. " Yeah, anything." Something inside of you fluttered. You cast it aside to hold his gaze.

"Promise me you'll always try and tell me what's going on in your head. No more hiding."

His eyes bore into yours like he was contemplating something, a flicker of conflict in them, a vulnerability that you didn't know what to think of. Then, it was gone and you weren't even sure you'd seen it.

"Yeah, I- um," his jaw tightened for a second. "I promise, Mars."

You patted him on the shoulder, a friendly gesture that felt phony even to you. "Great ... that's great."

He flashed a closed-mouthed smile and you both stood there on the sidewalk for a moment, not saying a word.

"Goodnight," you told him, because it was what you would've said to anyone else at that moment, ignoring the whispers in your mind telling you something was missing, that Carmen wasn't just anyone else.

Something tugged at him too, nagging him, insisting that he had more to tell you, more to say before the night was really over, before he had to go to work the next day and somehow navigate his day with the new promises he'd made you. But all he said was "Goodnight, Mars," before getting in his car with just a wave goodbye that felt bare and wrong.

You left him one more of your smiles through the passenger window of his car before walking off to wherever you'd parked your own. He was sure he'd felt butterflies. Butterflies.

Only you could do this to him. He'd felt numb, overwhelmed and unsatisfied all the same time for however long, and then you come back to Chicago and suddenly he felt everything, all the time. It was getting to him, clearly, because he found himself opening his car door and stepping out of it, losing control of his body, loosening his grip of rationality all because of you. Because he wanted to see you, needed to. He needed you.

You were a good distance away from his car by the time he'd gotten out of his, but you turned around at the sound of the car door practically slamming. You frowned, noticing Carmen walking towards you.

"Carmen?" you called into the night, confused. He caught up with you, something behind his gaze that had his eyes shimmering. You swore you could feel the delicate movement of his eyes across your face as soon as he was near enough to truly take it in.

He took hold of your hand, fingers interlocking with yours delicately, an electrifying feeling buzzing through you. You let out a small gasp at the contact, vision shooting down at the point at which you both touched, just a hand hold but the contact took your full focus.

"Hey," he said, something like a smile creeping onto his features and you'd never seen him like this, so exhilarated and full of delicate determination. You looked back up into his eyes, and he took a step closer, finally letting himself be pulled by that magnetic force calling him to you that he couldn't resist. He wouldn't, anyway.

"Wh-," you started, meaning to question him but the thought was brushed aside when he leaned inwards, his forehead falling against yours. His curls brushed against the top of your head, and you secretly loved the feeling, becoming breathless.

"You can tell me to stop, Mars." He murmured it so close to you, breath fanning onto your cheek in a distracting but addictive way, and suddenly you were forgetting how to talk. It didn't matter, because you didn't want him to stop. You looked back up at him, and he saw that in your eyes, so he didn't.

His lips brushed against yours, a taste of what he'd been wanting for longer than he could even remember. The feeling it sent throughout him was immobilizing, and he stayed like that, eyes shut, reveling in it.

It was you who closed the distance, pressing your lips to his and letting the dizzying wave from it spread all over you, to the tips of your fingers that immediately reached up to hold his firm shoulders, and to your brain that buzzed in joy and excitement and a bit of something else.

He froze up for a second when he felt your lips crashing into his. Your lips on his felt like the answers to all his problems, and he needed them in a burning, unignorable way. His brows furrowed and his hands reached up to cradle your neck delicately, holding you like you were more valuable than anything he could've bought, anything he could've wished for, could've imagined he could possibly have.

His lips tugged on yours and yours tugged back, a rhythm that felt easy to follow, like the deep thrum of a heartbeat. And when you both finally pulled apart for air, it was like you could still feel that rhythm, because your heartbeats were beating so loudly and in time with each other's that it felt like the moment was never meant to come to an end.

Your foreheads were still connected, and you knew neither of you had it in you to pull away. You felt somehow even more breathless.

"What was that for?" Your voice was soft, hoarse. You swore you saw Carmen's lip quirk upwards.

"I promised to not hide what was going on in my head." Your hands came up to delicately wrap around his biceps, impossibly solid underneath your fingertips. He didn't suppress the shudder that traveled through him. "Call that the first step."

You smiled, this time against his lips, and somehow that beat every single smile you'd ever given him before. It felt like a promise of your own, to share your warmth with him from now on. He liked the idea, a lot. He'd let you do it whenever you wanted, he liked it that much.

He'd let you take care of him whenever you wanted, too. Again and again, until you got sick of him. But he was Carmen Berzatto. You knew you never would.

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chubbyreaderchan · 1 year

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Crying in the Sand | Poly! Lost Boys x plus sized!Reader

Summary: The Lost Boy’s mate has some old “friends” come to town. She wants to spend time with them without her boys but they end up destroying her self-esteem instead. The boys will not let them get away with it.

Warnings: Sexual innuendos but no real sex scenes, cursing, blood, violence, fighting, body shaming, self-hatred, anxiety, shirtless men for some reason, nudity, strong language, bullying, adult bullying, reader is larger in clothes size than the boys but they don’t care, Marko being let loose. Everyone in the coven is dating everyone else. No Michael or Star or Laddie :(

David’s arm wrapped around her plush hip, pressing her into his side gently. The boys were acting rowdy as they walked the boardwalk, minus Dwayne who was loyally carrying her bags despite her protests. She had been holding off the entire night to tell them she wasn’t going to be hanging out with them the next night. They had a hard time allowing their mate to go anywhere without them, but she made them promise to allow her to have other friends. Which was hard to do as an adult who surrounds herself with scary biker boys with pretty hair.

But old friends were good. They didn’t know her boys, they had no idea they existed since they were coming to California for vacation from her hometown. They were only passing through the next night and then they were off to try to get to Hollywood and Disneyland for the rest of their trip. She was sure she was a fleeting thought in their minds. They hadn’t contacted her since graduation and she mostly forgot about them until they got her phone number from her family.

“You alright?” Dwayne said.

His voice was low, and had the depth of dark chocolate and the warmth of his leather jacket on a cold night like tonight. His knuckle brushed over her plush cheek, a forest fire against her cheek despite his deathly cold. David’s fingers dug into her side and the leader looked at Dwayne, mildly annoyed he noticed her thoughts before he did.

“What’s wrong, princess?”

She took a deep breath. Now or never.

“My friends from high school called me last night. I guess they are flying into Santa Carla because the tickets were cheap,” she said.

(Y/n) leaned into David a bit more, as if seeking physical support from him. He was the leader and protector, she thrived off of that. She liked feeling his protection and listening to his opinions.

“They want to hang out. Go to some beach. Something less popular than--”

She motions around them at the crowds and lights.

“They only have a day to stretch their legs and they want to hit up the beach before they go to Disney,”

“Are you wanting to introduce us?” David asked.

(Y/n) bit the inside of her cheek, thoughtful. That was something she hadn’t decided on yet. There were a few snakes in her old friend group and she did not want to share her boys with them. They had snatched so many crushes from her in the past, or even helped boys prank her with false dates.

“No,” she was firm. “They are from a small town. They wouldn’t get it… or us,”

David gave her a look, it was cold and distant. A tinge of jalousy seemed to sully the air. Dwayne’s hand joined David’s on her body. His hand pressed against the blonde leader it was intimate and comforting for both (Y/n) and David.

“She should be able to see her friends without us,” Dwayne said gently.

They could aways watch from a distance.

Leave it to Paul to ruin the comfortable gazes between the two boys. His lanky arms wrapped around their human mate in a near breath stealing grasp. He nipped at her neck and she giggled at the ticklish sensation.

“What? Don’t want your high school buddies to be jealous?” Paul purred.

Marko was in front of her in an instant, keeping a steady pace walking backwards to look at her features. Her soft stomach was his favorite and he often encouraged her to show it off, but it was hidden tonight. With a final leer he grinned his devilish smile that made (Y/n) melt and give into practically anything he wanted.

“Maybe she doesn’t want them to know how kinky our lady is,” Marko smile never wavered.

His fists pulled at the opening of his jacket, tongue lapping out at his lips.

“Not that they’d ever find out, amore,”

Never in her life had she had so many boys pinning and loving her like they did. She felt wanted and taken care of all at the same time with the four wild vampires.

“If we aren’t going to see you much tomorrow then we should go back to the cave,” David mused.

The vampire swiftly tugged the cigarette from behind his ear, pressing it between his lips before lighting it. The hot burn of cigarette smoke filled the air even with his efforts to puff the smoke away from the fragile human he was so annamoured with.

“Why’s that?” she asked.

“We need to scent you,”

“Scent me?”

He hummed, his own devilish grin tugged at his lips. It wasn’t fair how handsome he was. It took everything in (Y/n)’s body to run her fingers through his course facial hair.

“Can’t have any others trying to touch what is ours,”

His face was close to her’s now. David’s scent of tobacco, mint, and metal washed over her face. He leans in close and almost purrs his next words.

“And kitten, you can touch my beard all you want…. But I think it might feel better against your thighs,”

Her face heated and her thighs rubbed together at the insinuation. The sharp ears of the others caught every word and like a pack of hyenas they howled with laughter.

“I would punch you if you weren’t so pretty,” she said,

She crossed her arms over her chest like a child. David couldn’t help but laugh, knowing very well her threats meant nothing. His soft lips pressed against her’s in a chaste kiss.

The day started with her friends arriving at her apartment. No, scratch that. One friend who was one of the snakes, and two girls who used to bully her relentlessly arrived on her front porch. She knew the snake friend was coming but apparently (Y/n) had assumed that she was still friends with the others she used to be around.

“You look…” the snake, known as Allison grimced visibly. “Like you!”

Ouch. That one hurt. She could feel herself folding in already and the day with them had hardly started. Ashley the blonde resident mean rich girl in the town hugged (Y/n) like she had a disease and only did so out of politeness. The third was a dark haired girl who always seemed to be a package deal with Ashley. Bridget… thought (Y/n) had often called her an “idiot” in her head.

“Hi, uh…” she smiled fakely and followed Ashley into the apartment.

“Once we get relaxed a smidge,” Ashley said. “We should go to lunch. Didn’t you mom say you work on a boardwalk?”

“I thought you didn’t want to hit the boardwalk?” (Y/n) asked.

“Oh, we don’t want to hit the boardwalk at night. Too crowded and… too dangerous,” she cringed.

The plump girl wanted to roll her eyes, but she was right. The boardwalk plus peak summer season plus night and minus her boys could be a one way ticket to robbery… or worse. Though the “or worse” were her boys. She’d always be safe on the boardwalk.

“Oh, sweetie, You aren’t going to wear that to lunch are you?” Allison asked. “It’s a bit tight don’t you think?”

(Y/n) looked at the shirt that hugged her body quite tight, a faded Rolling Stones t-shirt. Yes it was a bit small, fitting a bit like a crop top and she did snip part of the neckline to fit a bit better but it was Paul’s shirt. He gave it to her. From his own clothes.

“Here sugar,” the wild blonde grinned, tossing the t-shirt at her bare body.

The boys were out feeding that night and Paul had practically destroyed her mind with incredible sex and just his overall vibe. They never liked her to be alone in the cave if they could help it.

“Paul, how high are you?”

“No, babe, it’s hi how are you,” he grinned jumping into her nest and kissing her jaw.

“No, Paulie. Baby… I’m gonna stretch it out,”

“And?”

“Don’t you like this shirt?”

“It’s my favorite,” he grinned.

His lips continued to kiss her neck.

“I’ll ruin it. Stretch it,”

“Well, call it payback, sugar,” He sucked on her neck.

Her mind was getting fuzzy again. “For what?”

“For you letting me stretch your pussy out,”

The memory normally made her laugh but her fingers were now tangled at the hem of the shirt. Stress was filling her mind.

“Yeah, I can change,” she said softly. “Just make yourselves at home,”

It wasn’t long and she came out to the three girls giggling. It was like they never left high school. They looked up at her and Bridget laughs again.

“Are you done?” (Y/n) asked. “Would you like to see the boardwalk or not?”

“Of course, you look so cute. We’re gonna take my car. It’s bigger,” Ashley grinned. “A rental,”

It took a lot to not gag at the fakeness in her voice. (Y/n) threw her bag over her shoulder, tracing the patch Marko had stitched into it as she walked to the car.

“Bridgy,” Ashley smiled. “Let (Y/n) sit up front. She is hosting us after all,”

Bridget climbs into the back and (Y/n) sits in the front telling her in detail the best ways to get the pier. She couldn’t remember the last time she was her in the day time, it was still lively but it was just a different feeling.

It felt more family friendly and not one wrong move from being either a rave or a brawl. No David holding her hip or Marko pinching her sides. No Paul wanting to sneak her off into one of the changing booths or even a Dwayne making sure she actually eats something that was sugar dipped in more sugar. It was a familiar loneliness she had hanging over her she had most of her teenage year as the three women linked arms and (Y/n) fell behind them. She was never lonely or felt as if she wasn’t wanted with her boys.

Hell, if they didn’t want her around they would’ve eaten her by now… and not in the fun way.

“Where should we eat?” Allison called over her shoulder. “What’s good?”

“There’s a 24 hour diner near the Di--,”

“What, no,” Ashley said.

The preppy blonde was aghast at the mention of a diner. She rolled her eyes and reached into her beach bag. A pamphlet of the local attractions and restaurants she must’ve gotten at a rest stop at some point.

“Oh, we should go to the seafood place,” Ashley grinned.

(Y/n) cringed at the thought. The boys had told her many sketchy things about the owner and management. It was not a great choice but a water and a side salad would hold over until she could get a corn dog from her favorite booth. Maybe.

The best part of the restaurant was definitely the air conditioning. It felt nice against her skin, she even tugged her well loved jacket from her shoulders. Another gift she had an argument over when David gave it to her. It was older, but with Marko’s sewing skills and patches from all of them it was transformed into hers, though the arms were a bit tight and it didn’t zip properly but it fit the best out of all the boy’s clothes and she adored it. Marko promised to make it fit better but she wasn’t sure she wanted it. It was like a constant hug from David, it even smelled like him. But even a punk can get sweaty in a jacket on the beach.

---

“Why did you let us eat there?” Ashley whined as they walked down the boardwalk.

“You wouldn’t listen if I told you,” (Y/n) replied.

“Wait where are you going?” Bridget copied the whine of the other girl.

It made her want to jam a plastic fork into her ear. Somehow she managed to get in line at the good corndog place, as suggested by Marko.

“I thought you were dieting. You know cuz the jacket was so tight and the salad,” Bridget accused.

She shook her head and bit her lip. Her hand went into her pocket fidgeting with the coins inside. This was going to be a long day and it had barely started. She could’ve been in bed this whole time. Hell, she could’ve been in her nest the entire time, with her boys. Hell, she’d even hang out with Max at this point. At least he wasn’t an open asshole like these girls were.

(Y/n) bit into the fried treat and sighed in contentment.

---

“Are you sure this beach is private enough?” Allison called.

Then she giggled and whispered. The sun was starting to set and the girls wanted to abandon the boardwalk quickly. (Y/n)’s mind ached from being around the three girls and she was practically counting down the hours until she could go back to her boys. By the time they were on the beach she knew of, the sun was down and it was quite dark.

“Of course, I come here all the time,” she said. “Nothing for miles,”

Other than a cave.

“Oh good,” Allison giggled.

She tore off her top and began stripping in the dark. (Y/n) watched in shock. The darkness of the beach wasn’t enough to conciel the girls stripping down to their birthday suits.

“Come on, (Y/n). We did this all the time back home. It’s why we wanted to come here at night,” she giggled. “Join us,”

The grin on Allison’s lips would have mimicked Markos. This would have been a Marko or Paul idea but something felt off about this. The instinct to pull in and run as fast as she could was buzzing in her brain harder than the first time she saw a vampire feed. But just like then she pushed it away, the wild side that was primmed and built by the coven of vampires was screaming to just do it.

A sharp swallow felt like it cut down her entire body. She pulled her jacket off then her top and the rest of her clothes. The girls were huddled and giggling, bile made it’s way up her throat. Bitter and painful as the rest ran into the water. Even at her age, peer pressure seemed to be winning her over as she went into the dark waters. Her heard was racing as the cold touched her hot skin. It cooled over the places where the sun had touched, she sighed again in contentment. The fear was washed away from her body with each crash of the wave.

Her eyes fluttered shut and she enjoyed the sounds of the night. Quiet and still, with the occasional sound of wildlife that lived in the area. Quiet never happened with all the boys. Quiet could only be obtained with Dwayne or David. All four was shouting and calling and flirting and--.

Giggles.

(Y/n)’s eyes shot open. It was too dark to see anyone. She spun in a circle, hoping to see anyone. Anything. Gone. They left her. She swallowed hard, and fought back the tears of frustration and memories. This wasn’t the first time Allison played this prank. Leaving her in the middle of nowhere. But it was fine. She would just pull on her clothes and just go to the cave or the boardwalk and find her boys.

She stepped onto the sand, careful not to step on a scuttering crab before heading to her clothes which---

They weren’t there. Her jacket. Her shirt. Even her swimsuit and bag were gone, hot tears filled her eyes arms wrapping around her bare body as she fell into the sand with a thud. Her breathing was hard and ragged. The bullying through the day seemed to have built up to this moment. It was as if time hadn’t moved since she was 16 and trying to blend in only to stand out more. She coughed out a sob. She hardly registered the rumbling of motors coming down the beach.

---

“This is lame,” Marko said.

He chewed at the glove on his left hand anxiously. The group of boys seemed dull. David was simply browsing the night’s produce, deciding which bodies could fill their bellies and the boredom without their mate to complete their family.

No one peaked his curiosity. Hell, he wasn’t even that hungry, at least not that kind of hunger. David could practically still taste her on his tongue and her smell still lingered on the boardwalk. It was hours old but he knew her scent so well that it could’ve been just a few seconds ago.

He was growing irritated. Like a caged jaguar. He wanted to rip into something, but had no one good enough. Nothing caught his interest other than a back and fourth look over the crowd.

“Maybe (Y/n)’s friends left,” Paul said, hopeful.

“If that’s the case she’d come to us,” Dwayne said, leaning back a bit on his bike.

He stretched and grunted slight before leaning forward again on the handles. Dwayne didn’t need to stretch but it was an old human habit, like breathing. But he was disappointed when he remember that their little mate wasn’t their to ogle at his muscles beneath his skin.

“Let’s go,” David flicked his cigarette carelessly. “No one looks worth it tonight,”

They kicked off their bikes and onto the beach they drove. Taking the long sandy way home in the hopes of finding some form of entertainment. The pack were wooping and hollering but it didn’t feel as good as when it was filled with giggles. A piece of their coven was missing. David hated and loved how much she meant to the dynamic of their family.

David inhales, sand brushed against his nostrils but that wasn’t the scent that bothered his nose. Tears. Fear.

Her.

Something was wrong, and David tried not to allow his true face out. He slowed his bike and the boys followed. Marko was next to him sniffing the air, he liked the smell of tears but not like this. They could see her curled in on her self crying.

Naked. And crying.

Leather enveloped her shoulders and she looked up to see Dwayne. He smiled at her sadly, kneeling to her level.

He brushed a rough thumb under her eyes, wiping a tear off her cheek.

“What the fuck happened, amore,” Marko was in front of her, hands gripping into fists.

Pacing and cursing in Italian. David looked just as pissed and she didn’t see paul. Not until he threw the shirt he had on at her playfully.

“Paul,” She whimpered.

“Don’t even start, sugar. Just put it on,”

His voice lacked any warmth. No happy go lucky Paul, but a serious man with anger in his voice. A black Led Zepplin shirt that smelled of him and weed. It stretched over her body, but it wasn’t enough to cover her bottom half. She moved Dwayne’s jacket to covers up but she was still very bare. But she did feel a bit better with her boys surrounding her.

“What the hell happened,” David mimicked Marko’s question.

His movements were so quiet she jumped when she turned to see him crouched infront of her, leather hands on her knees.

“They convinced me to swim… without,” she sniffed. “Then took my clothes and left… I just want my jacket and bag back,”

David pulled his large over coat off and placed it on her as well.

“Don’t worry kitten, we’ll take care of it,” David said.

His gloved hand

“I’ll take her back to the cave,” Dwayne said.

He didn’t even hesitate. He lifted (Y/n) as if she weighed nothing, wrapping her tightly to keep her modest, not that anyone would see a thing or even look while in his arms.

“I don’t,”

“Don’t worry mama,” he soothed. “We’re flying. I’ll get my bike when you are in your nest,”

Paul, Marko, and David were off. Following the scent of fake cucumber and soon to be dead bitches. Marko was the first to spot them, his eyes were especially sharp when he was pissed off and hungry. They didn’t care about safety or stopping, they tailgated them until the women finally pulled off. Clearly, they weren’t very smart. David’s bike barely stopped when he hopped off. Rage was fueling him, and his eyes were yellow. His hunger had suddenly returned.

“What the hell--,” the blonde yelled.

“Where the fuck is her stuff,”

The woman in pink finally looked into David’s face. She stammered. Marko had already ripped the door of the passengerside causing the women to scream. Paul smashed the back window, seeing (Y/n)’s clothes and bag.

The brunette screamed again as Marko tugged her from her seat. He held her so tight her arm snapped under the force and she screamed again. Marko’s long tongue flicked out before he took a rough bite.

They would be another set of missing people.

“Good thing you leave so much here,” Dwayne teased, running his hands over her thigh. It was a pair of sweat pants she had forgotten ages ago but she was grateful for them. She didn’t want to steal another item of their clothes.

“Though I still think you’d be cuter in my boxers,”

They were laying in her next again, right under where the boys would sleep. It was safest to them and they liked having her there, since she would be joining them on the ceiling someday. Dwayne leaned forward, kissing another stray tear. He had already left and retrieved his bike, and now he could be comfortable with her. His jacket was still over her shoulders and she was hugging David’s like a security blanket.

Tears still crept from her eyes, but he could tell she was feeling better.

His fingers traced over the waist band of her hips and he kissed another stray tear away. He kissed down her cheek all the way to her lips. Dwayne smiled when she returned the kiss, moving so she could touch his body. The cave rumbled and the other vampires came in wildly. The curtains moved and the first boy rushed in, bag on his shoulder and a grin on his face.

“Sorry, Dwayne. There wasn’t enough bitch for all of us,” Paul said patting his shoulder.

Happy Paul was back but his face and hands were coated in blood. He placed her things beside her bed and he leaned in to kiss her but Dwayne put a hand against his other lover’s chest.

“Clean first, then kiss her.”

“Yeah yeah, human blood disease,” Paul hissed.

Marko rushed in next. Wild eyed and looking like he could go for another fight. But he was clean, or at least his skin was. His shirt was stained and ripped apart but his jacket was a beautiful as alway.

His eyes flickered around and landed on his girl. Puffy eyed, but smiling at him.

“Feeling better, Venus?” He teased.

She nodded.

He shrugged his jacket off, then shoes, then his shirt before climbing in behind her. His arms snaked around her middle, squeezing at the doughy flesh of her belly just right.

“Stop! That tickles,” She giggled trying to pull away from him.

“Amore, how can I stop when you are just so irresistible,”

Dwayne rolled his eyes at the antics. “Marko,” He was stern.

Marko paused his tickling and rolled his eyes before just hugging his hurting mate from behind. He kissed her neck and nipped at the skin softly.

“Don’t worry, my Venus,” he whispered. “Those girls wont ever hurt you again,”

His breath is cool against her skin and she can’t help but to hum. She leaned against Marko and he allowed her enjoying her against his chest.

The curtains pulled back again, David was now also shirtless his hair damp and gel-less. It was slightly messy without product and (Y/n) loved it very much. His lips curl into a smug smile.

“I’m glad you like my jacket, kitten but I think I’d be a better replacement,”

He crawled into the nest as well. He sat between Dwayne and (Y/n) taking the jacket from her hands before pulling her from Marko’s grip. She layed against his soft chest and he purred as her fingers danced over his soft belly before gently playing with his chest hair. Marko found himself back behind her, hugging for dear life. His fingers tapped against her middle.

They all seemed to be buzzing with energy.

“What the fuck? Why are you guys hogging the babe!”

Paul launched himself into the pile of lovers wedging himself between the tangled legs of (Y/n) and David. Dwayne rolled his eyes before scooting into David’s other side, placing a hand on the exposed midriff of his princess.

“I don’t think I want friends anymore,” she hummed. “You guys are like friends and boyfriends wrapped in one,”

“You should still have friends,” Dwayne said gently. “I bet you’d like Gloria,”

“No, I think i’m content,”

“Whatever you want kitten,” David said. “That’s what you’ll get,”

His fingers traced over any skin or into any hair that he could. They went down to her jaw and gently lifted her chin. He pressed a kiss against her lips.

“I want to kiss her,” Paul huffed, pushing up against David’s stomach to climb to her face.

David grunted in annoyance but held his tongue from shouting at the vamponeside golden retriever. He just watched as he sloppily devoured her lips.

She was never going to be alone like that again. He wouldn’t allow it.

#tlb #the lost boys imagine #the lost boys x reader #tlb x reader #tlb x y/n #tlb x you #marko x reader #david x reader #paul x reader #dwayne x reader #the lost boys headcanon #poly!lost boys x reader #plus size reader #fat reader #fat inclusive #tlb David x reader #tlb marko x reader #tlb dwayne x reader #tlb paul x reader

2K notes · View notes

aviscarrentals · 2 months

Text

i want to play a (racing) game

a series of f1 fics based off of some of my favorite horror movies

charles leclerc- the shining

you, your boyfriend, and a bunch of friends decide to spend your winter break together in a giant hotel. what could go wrong?

max verstappen- it

after years away from your hometown, derry, you suddenly receive an urgent call from your long-forgotten childhood friend, alex, that leads to you returning to the very place you swore you would never face again

carlos sainz- a quiet place

after losing everything you know when the world fell into apocalypse due to the invasion of alien-like monsters with some very sharp ears, you find a new family in the other survivors

lando norris- scary movie (saw parody)

you wake up next to a stranger in a dimly lit room chained to a chair, which is bolted to the floor. luckily, the situation turns out to be more humorous than terrifying (may or may not be 100% based off of the jerma episode of generation loss LOL)

fernando alonso- freaky

you wake up in the body of a middle aged man. but not just any man. a man who also happens to be a wanted serial killer.

george russell- the purge

you and your best friend alex's annoying best friend, george, have to work together to survive the purge night (lily's also there)

pierre gasly- unfriended

you and your friends video call every friday night to hang out together. unfortunately, an angry spirit has decided it wants to spend some time with you guys as well...

mick schumacher- fnaf

after countless failed attempts, you've finally found yourself a new job! the bad news is, it's a night shift and you're scared of the dark. so, naturally, you drag your boyfriend along with you.

alex albon- child's play

when you and your boyfriend unexpectedly have to take in your young niece, you two struggle to make a connection with the little girl. maybe splurging on the cool new doll she's been wanting will fix that.

yuki tsunoda- final destination

what do you do when some random guy that you've never spoken to before tells you he's seen visions of you dying? what do you do when it turns out he was right and death is pretty pissed off?

oscar piastri- the menu

you and your husband have worked non-stop to build a successful, stable life for yourselves. you two really deserve a break. how about a fancy dinner on a remote island prepared by one of the most revered chefs in the entire culinary world?

ollie bearman- scary stories to tell in the dark

it's the final halloween before you have to move away from your hometown and your best friends since birth. hopefully you can make it a night to remember.

lance stroll- the cabin in the woods

you and your boyfriend decide to invite some friends to spend the weekend in a little log cabin in the forest as a way to momentarily retreat from your stressful lives. well you definitely won't be getting any rest this weekend, that's for sure.

logan sargeant- scream (aka yelp)

an eerie masked killer has made its way into your town and is slowly picking kids off one by one. who could it be? is there anyone you can trust? prologue chapter 1

liam lawson- happy death day

happy birthday! i hope you're excited because this will be the longest day(s?) of your life

sebastian vettel- the texas chainsaw massacre

it's summer, which of course means it's time for a roadtrip! unfortunately, you and your friends decided to visit texas, usa, where everything's bound to go wrong (because it's texas, usa)

kimi raikkonen- would you rather

desperate times call for desperate measures, although at this point desperate would be an understatement. so when the perfect opportunity falls right into your lap, who are you to turn it down?

jenson button- halloween

it's halloween! the spookiest day of the year. even though you don't bother participating in silly little holiday celebrations, there are some traditions you can't ignore…

mark webber- 28 days later

the world has gone to shit. even so, you're doing everything you can to survive, despite how hard it is on your own. maybe it would be better if you formed a team?

322 notes · View notes

xerotiny99 · 2 months

Text

Chasing Stars in the Dark // Request

Pairing: Jeong Yunho x Reader [best friends to lovers]

Warning: smut, hard dom!yunho, sub!reader, manhandling, fingering, big cock yunho, unprotected sex, creampie, dirty talk, degradation, rough sex, cunnilingus, Yunho as a hard dom but still caring, etc.

Note: do not proceed if you're uncomfortable with any mentioned tags. Grab yourself a couple of snacks because this long as fuck. And not proofread.

Requested By: wattpad request

Gist: having broken up recently, you call your best friend and ramble all your sad tales to him. Yunho always kept an open mind and listened to your every chatter, no matter how envious he seemed listening to you. However, finding you seemingly heartbroken, he suggests you return to your hometown. Because he was too. Although, going back home might mean having more boy problems than usual.

Song rec: Stars by SKY

Word Count: 24,665

"And he said, I dress like a slut!" you whine, aggressively sucking on the straw to get the remaining drink out of your glass.

The loud noise caused you to earn bothered glances from the surrounding people. You take a look around, seemingly unaware of what you had done, and bow your head a little; you turn back to your laptop screen, finding a familiar face grinning at your disastrous mistake. He doesn't need a reason to snicker at you, and why would he? Every moment of your life is mangled deeply within the awkwardness defined by your body, he only found it endearing. Did he?

"Stop it, Yunho," you groan, rolling your eyes at him. "That wasn't funny."

"To me it was," he shrugs.

You were sitting in the campus cafe, with your laptop propped open on the table and your favourite drink by your side. Mellow sun hung over your head, shining bright and dithering to the cloudy skies which the winds blew by. In the daze of the sunshine, you occupied the window counter with a long table and stools for seating; you preferred the single seating instead of the booth 'cause it would not engage you in unnecessary interactions. Or so you thought. Being an introvert, social interactions weren't really your strong suit. "But coming back to your real issues," he clears his throat, "he really said you dress like a slut? Oh my god. The audacity."

The moment his voice raised a baritone, you knew he was being overly dramatic about this situation; in a way, it seemed like he was mocking you. And maybe he was.

You roll your eyes again, "Yunho, I'm being serious!"

He whines, "so am I, Liyah. The audacity of a man to tell you how to dress is sheer atrocity and arrogance."

"Yeah yeah," you sigh, "but he was so perfect, Yun. Like, my Prince Charming."

"Okay, I wish I went deaf before hearing that," he jokes, two of his sleek fingers pointed at his forehead to mimic a gun, "kill me now, please."

"I wish I could," you huff, biting your lip. "I wish for many things; I wish I could get back with him."

For the first time in a while, you were yearning something else than comfort. Usually, after your breakups, you would call up your best friend and he would try to ease your mind over it, but this time you were craving for your best friend to be with you. Which was highly unlikely considering you both were in different cities, pursuing your undergrad degree. Coming from hometown, you were diaper buddies, born in the same hospital, on the same day, being neighbours and your families being lost long friends. This wasn't sheer coincidence; this was something from the book of fate for best friends.

Best friends. Those two words made your heart bitter. Agreed, when you two were kids, you were really good friends, always at each other's side and having each other's backs. You two were ride or die. Though, along the senior years of your high school, you started to see Yunho in a completely different light. To define it best, you were in love with him. Well, to be fair, love doesn't happen overnight, it takes time; and for you, it had taken eighteen years of your life to make you realise how fucked up you were for him. At times you wonder if he was too. Not that he would say it outright, but over the past years he had gone further and beyond to make you happy.

"No, Liyah! Repeat after me," he leans closer to his screen, the camera noting every detail of him, "I should not give second chances to hubristic dicks."

"I should not give second chances to hubristic dicks." You repeat, deadpanning, however.

"Was that so hard?" he leans back on his chair, adjusting his big headphones overhead and heaving out a breath, "Liyah, you don't deserve a guy like him. All he's ever done is second guess your relationship, judged you for your preferences and has never once respected your opinions."

He rolls back a little on his chair, grabbing his half-eaten snickers bar from the table and taking a good bite of it; he was in his dorm room, wearing a black tank top and jogger shorts. The room was kept dark with the drapes drawn over the windows, you could discern him through the screen only because his table lamp was burning directly onto him. Though, considering the murmured darkness in his room, you could still read the minute details on his face; his soft doe eyes, the hazy brown in them, and his plump lips almost too kissable to resist. The only surprise in his appearance was his hair. He had dyed it to a vivid colour of ashen blue, a complete contrast to his ebony hair you were used to.

"He was a misogynist." Yunho adds, "having such old school thoughts about women, and..." he trails off, "and it was visible in the way he treated you. I would never understand why you even considered dating him. I already told you he was a red flag."

You pout, "maybe because I was bored."

"If you're bored Liyah, maybe play a game or something?" he monotonously replies, satire reeking from him, "don't fall for dicks."

"Yeah, it's easy for you to say because you've never had your heart broken," you retort, "you've broken countless, however. How do you sleep at night?"

"Sound and peaceful, why?" he cocks his one brow up, "look, I haven't found 'the one' yet. A lot of them are pretentious bitches who only care about my dick."

"T-M-I, Yunho." You groan, "and it's quite obvious, girls are going to be after your body."

"Yeah, you think so?" he purposely places his elbows on the table, folding his arms to flex them. "I never caught up on that."

"Eat shit, fucker," you poke your tongue out at him, "no, seriously. You need to find yourself someone who stays longer than the time you take to pull your pants up after sex."

"Jeez, you have a way with your words, and that's really elaborate." He leans back, stretching his arms over his head, his muscles contorting to his command, "tell me, have you done anything stupid yet?"

"What do you mean?" you sound a little guilty.

"Don't fuck with me," he deadpans, keeping a warning tone instead, "you know exactly what I mean. Whenever someone breaks your heart, you plot a revenge story, and it never goes the way you plan them to."

"You're still salty about last time?" you whine, "we both knew it was a mistake. Lesson learnt. But you were my partner in crime, so..."

"Leave it," he sighs, rubbing his hands over his face, "I still feel grossed out remembering what we did. You're pretty ruthless, you know that?"

"If he thinks his car is the only love of his life, then he had it coming."

"You wrecked his car beyond repair. You should know guys love their cars." He pouts softly, and you retaliate, "yeah, and you still joined me because you didn't want me to do it alone."

"Of course!" he exclaims, snickering a little, "I wasn't going to stand by and let you ruin your ex's car all alone, he deserved it."

"You are such a dick," you laugh along, "you can't pick a side, can you? Okay. Jokes apart. I'm not planning anything crazy this time. I'm far too old for that. Besides, I have assignments due before our summer break starts. So, guess what? I'm stuck typing hundred words per minute."

"You are stressed out," he mumbles, leaning on the table with his elbow and then resting his chin on his hand; he sighs, dazed by you. "Is that why I can see frown lines on your forehead? They're so prominent, ugh."

"What, really?" you unconsciously touch your forehead, worried. "Haha, very funny."

"Hey, I'm trying my best to ease your tension out." He shrugs.

You roll your eyes, adjusting your wired earbuds before looking away; grabbing your glass of strawberry smoothie, you peer further off the window in front of you. While you were busy studying the passersby on the promenade of your campus, Yunho was busy studying you. Mellow silence fills your ears for the time being he was staring at you, staring your hazel eyes melting away into sheer exultation as you sipped your drink. He always found you quite alluring. The way you'd scrunch your nose when you liked something, the way your cheeks would pop out when you smiled, and the way you'd get so easily flustered by compliments; every little thing about you was etched in my mind, almost ingrained.

Yunho continues to let his eyes linger on you, adoring your eyes and your lips; admiring the way you were sitting alone, tugging at the straps of your camisole in an attempt to keep them in place. He had never noticed you for your appearance or your vanity, he only saw you for your smile, your silly habits and your captivating personality. So, when he was quite engrossed in ogling your face, it weighed on him how badly he had fallen for you.

"What, cat got your tongue?" you mock, putting your glass down and letting it clink against the table. Pulling out the claw clip from your hair, you let it fall on your shoulders.

"No, I was just thinking."

"What?"

"That I gotta stop engaging myself with you and your shenanigans."

You roll your eyes for the umpteenth time, and he grins, "I'm joking. I wanted to ask you something."

"Go on."

"What are your plans over the summer break?" he asks, genuinely appearing curious as his brows fold up.

"I haven't given it much thought," you mutter, running hand through your hair, "I was thinking of applying for a full-time job or something."

With a subtle tug of your shoulder, you heave out a sigh and shake your head. Although, you had pretty much no motivation to think about your leisure holidays in front of you because you were too depressed about your breakup. You wouldn't say 'your now ex' was truly the one for you, but you were most definitely dwelling on the fact that you're going to have to be alone while your lifelong crush flirts with other women. That's the sad reality of unrequited love. You're deep into your thoughts, delving even deeper into your notions of your ex-boyfriend and your crush, seeming to shut out everyone around you. Yunho too.

"Liyah, are you listening to me?"

You snap back to reality, lips trembling and eyes quickly falling onto Yunho's face. "I am."

"Be a better liar, Liyah," he groans, shaking his head, "never mind, I was saying if you have nothing planned for your summer break, you can come back home." He has certainly gotten your attention now. "Well, I am too," he shrugs, "just as a favour to Mingi."

"What, why?" you muse, ruminating about the newly mentioned individual who happened to be your friend too. "You owe Mingi a favour?"

"It's not a bad thing," he pouts, "just volunteering at the summer camp."

"You want me to volunteer too?" you deadpan.

"Yeah," he mumbles, "I could use some company. You know I'm not too fond of the people back home, especially the ones of my age. And then there's unwanted attention from girls."

"Oh, Jesus Christ, Yunho," you monotonously speak, "if you want me to be the lady repellent, you could've said so."

"Not exactly a lady repellent. I'm not trying to soil my chances with Alexis." He smirks, "we've been texting. And let's say there are some details I can't tell you."

"I know," you roll your eyes, "by the way, texting and sexting are two different things. Genius."

"Her body," he mouths, cupping the air in front of his chest.

You narrow your eyes at him.

"Okay, no objectifying," leaning back into the chair, he rests his arms behind his head, "I'm kind of surprised Mingi did not text you regarding the volunteer work."

"We lost touch."

"Really?" he scoffs, "hard to believe considering you two were really close back in the days. Didn't he have a big fat crush on you?"

"It was a teeny tiny one." You state, "besides, we did not interact much after graduation."

The look on Yunho's face tells you he doesn't believe you; not even a bit when you're trying to forget about those days, all the times you were close to this person. Song Mingi was a good friend of yours, you met in middle school and had known each other since then. He's a little goofy and timid, an introvert more likely. Somehow, to your surprise, Yunho and he got along perfectly. For some reason you were worried about that they won't because you thought Yunho would feel left out. He never did. Yunho did not show any sort of disdain towards you making new friends, not even once.

Though, there'd be a time when he'd started showing his bitterness towards Mingi; at that time, you pushed it away, seemingly thinking it was nothing more than playful envy between the two of them. Both of them competed for your attention, considering all was a friendly banter. Until it wasn't. Mingi had a crush on you. Big time. He confessed it to you at the end of your graduation party. You kept Yunho in shadows regarding this fiasco, although it was stifling to not share everything with him as you usually would. That night, you gave Mingi a well thought riposte.

You told him the truth.

You unveiled your deepest secrets to him.

He was quite understanding. Not judgemental at all.

You liked Yunho. Always had.

When Mingi got to know of the truth, he chuckled and said, "I'm not dumb to be so oblivious. But I think he's the real fool to not see it."

You laughed along, stating, "it's been ten years. I'd give it some more time."

Mingi couldn't believe you, "you've liked him for ten years? What, since you were eight?"

You nodded, "come on, it's not that bad. I'll tell him eventually, taking one step at a time. Because, who wants to ruin such a good friendship with him."

Mingi did not say anything later on, he only wished you luck and pecked your cheek. The night was absolutely beautiful, somewhat schematic due to your realisation. If you don't confess soon, you'll be stuck with someone who's not him. And it goes both ways. After graduation, you and Yunho both chose to leave your hometown in search of better opportunities, both having been accepted into colleges cities apart.

If you recall your high school years, you had mentioned it a few times to him, that you'd want to go to the same college as him. But nothing goes as planned, does it? It's been three years since graduation, both of you in your junior years at college, and million miles away. You're grateful to the weekly, or sometimes monthly, FaceTime sessions with him; it gives you a sense of calm and comfort. Well, witnessing the joy on his face, for every little thing, does.

Yunho clears his throat, "what happened that night, Liyah?"

You take a deep breath, dismissing your reminiscent thoughts. "Nothing, really. We talked."

"If you say so." He doesn't believe it at all. "So, what's your answer? Do I see you over the summer break?"

You couldn't resist his sly smile and tempting eyes. "Sure. But I'm only doing it 'cause you forced me to. You definitely owe me one."

"Okay, princess." He rolls his eyes, "I'll see you then. Unfortunately, I have to take my leave now. Got a class today."

"Whatever." You poke your tongue out at him, "see you soon."

The call disconnects and you're all alone in the cafe with your empty glass of smoothie, a few other students and your phone buzzing quietly. You peer over the notifications once the screen lights up, finding texts from Yunho.

Yunho 🐾🐶 do you believe in coincidences?

You why?

Yunho 🐾🐶 mingi texted me he was asking about you seems like someone's not over their crush yet

You leave it, yun

Yunho 🐾🐶 nope see... now you have more than one reason to come back.

You fuck you

Rolling your eyes, you put your phone aside and groan at the situation; flustered, your face heats up and you try to hide the tint of red on your cheeks by laying your head down. Planting on the counter face first, you start pulling your thoughts apart. There's no way your summer break was going to be peaceful, neither here nor there. Though, you could say you were very much determined to confess your feelings to Yunho.

It was just...you were worried it was going to cost you your friendship with him.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆

Summer break was here. The awful heat brought awful dread to the pit of your stomach, because you weren't prepared to meet either of the boys you were apparently close to. If you could put your nonchalant mind to work, you would realise you owe Mingi a relationship, and a draught confession to Yunho. The very sad part of your ordeal was the way you would approach it; you can't be lax with yourself or them, you can't be straightforward either. You had to think it through, whatever that is you had planned.

You were engrossed, immersed in the mindless notions when you park your car in the driveway of your suburban house. How badly had missed this place. The house is still the same, the grey walls, the wooden overhang, the roof tiles, and the aesthetically pleasing front porch stairs. Right beside yours, a meter apart, was Yunho's house. The Victorian style architecture never ceases to impress you, neither does the lush lawn and intricate landscape.

Heat simmers you out as you get out of the car and proceed to grab your bags from the trunk; putting a hand overhead, you try to save yourself from the sun before hastily making your way to the front porch. The overhang provides you with gelid shade, while you fumble with your bags to find the house key under one of the potted plants scattered on the porch. Upon finding it under some dead plant, you put the key in and turn it; the door unlocks and you're pushing past to get inside, your bags following after.

The vestibule, seemingly cooler than the outside, is empty and dark. To your surprise, the entire house is left cloaked in darkness. You slip out of your shoes, heaving out a sigh as the heat starts dissipating, bit by bit. Putting on the house slippers, you lug your bags behind you and come to a halt in the darkened living room; the drapes were pulled over the windows, not letting any lights pass through. You were aware your mom wasn't home; she was at work. But at least she could've left the curtains open, make sure you weren't blinded by the darkness once you come home. There's no point in thinking about your father, as he's usually out of town for work, awfully lot.

Chucking every notion into your mental bin, you stride to the windows and uncover the drapes, pulling them to the side while sunlight filters in. You turn around on your feet and quickly rid yourself of the wispy kimono you had over your body. Once you were out, you slump yourself on the couch and close your eyes. After a three-hour long drive, it was the first time in the day you had felt your skin breathe; however, you could've preferred for the air conditioning to be a little lower in the temperature.

You fish out your phone from the pockets of your shorts, which were stuck to your skin tightly because of the heat. Tugging at the straps of your embroidered camisole, you huff out a few breaths before going through your notifications. No recent texts from your mom, and no replies from Yunho. You had called him in the morning, before leaving your dorm room, informing him of your departure. He was ecstatic, evident in his voice and told you he had arrived a couple of days before you.

There was no need for you to have bittersweet sentiments about him reaching first, but you were somehow least prepared to face him, now that he was before you and gave you no time to think what your first words to him be. You two were meeting after three years, and the last time you remember, you hadn't gone a day without each other. Separation anxiety is a real thing, you thought. After many years of considering it a hoax, you had come to terms with it. Living in a different city without Yunho felt dreadful, a mere struggle till you could stand on your feet and do everything on your own.

Let's say you two relied on each other a lot. A lot.

"No texts?" you groan, opening yours and Yunho's chats. "You gotta be some kind of dick to ignore me..." sulking, you sink further back into the couch and rest your head against the edge. "Ahh..." you sigh, out of sheer spite and boredom.

You close your eyes again, not wanting to stare at the bland and vapid ceiling; the thought of you meeting your best friend after three years, swirls in your head. It's gonna be easy right? No awkwardness, no silences, and no teasing. Right? You have been FaceTiming each other, anyway, don't know why you have to be so worried about it. Perhaps, you were nervous to see him after a long time, only because you had confessions to make.

Lost in the vastness of your inklings, you don't perceive many things in your surroundings, especially the muffled footsteps ascending to your back. Your body flinches when a pair of hands grab your shoulders, eyes wide and on an alert; but your view is constrained to a dark silhouette covering its face with a purge mask.

"Gotcha!"

"Fuck!" you scream, managing to slip out of the person's grip and getting off the couch.

You've not even composed yourself when you hear a raspy voice rumble from behind the couch; from the apparent person standing behind it, clutching onto its stomach and throwing his head back in laughter.

"Oh my goodness," the all too familiar voice echos in your head, "you should've seen your face, Liyah."

When the dense vibrations of his laughter come to a halt, he whips off the mask from his face, revealing his fading ashen hair stuck to his forehead. Yunho smirks at you, flicking the mask on the couch before walking around to drop down on it. He takes a breath of air, perhaps tired from all the laughter while you narrow your eyes at him, your arms over your chest.

You're watching him with amusement; maybe it was the epicurean sense of your gaze, 'cause you couldn't help but drool at the man he had become. Yeah yeah, it sounds weird to you too. Maybe, spending three years away from each other had numbed your senses. Even after all the FaceTime sessions, you were erratically attracted to him; his toned body and how it was hidden beneath an oversized graphic tee and denim jeans. The most endearing thing about him, his shirt having a handwritten typography spelling out 'smile, zero worries'. That is definitely his personality.

"Not funny, jerk face."

"Oh, it really was," he chuckles, shrugging off his black leather jacket and letting it hang over the armrest of the couch. "Your face was worth going through all the trouble to find this mask in my attic. Too bad I did not have a camera on me."

"Is this how you welcome me back? By petty pranks?"

He shrugs his shoulders, letting his head fall back, "I had many things planned for your welcome; guess my efforts fell short. I'm not as lively as I used to be before."

"I'm glad you aren't," you grumble, going to pick up your bags when Yunho quickly scrambles on his feet and picks them up for you. "Woah, what a gentleman."

"Snark all you want; I know you love me." He snides, holding two of your bags in either of his hands, "to your room, then?"

You shake your head and roll your eyes, taking the lead as you walk down the hallway. As the hallway curves to a corner, the stairs begin and you take one step at a time, Yunho hauling the bags behind you.

"Would it be stupid if I asked you how you got in?" you mumble, calling to him.

Yunho heaves a murmured chortle, "babes, the balcony of your room opens right into mine. All I had to do was take a leap of faith. Literally."

"That's trespassing, I'll have you behind the bars," you retort.

"Aww, then wouldn't you miss me too much?" he pouts, "I got to jail, you lose a best friend and die alone."

"Pretty elaborate," you continue walking up the stairs, quite leisurely to keep the conversation between you two going, "I'm not dying alone. We made a deal, remember?"

"Right, we were born together, we will die together." He sighs, "we made a lot of hollow promises back then, did we not?"

The two of you are at the top of the stairs, you've stopped in your steps while he's standing next to you. Either of your eyes bore into each other's, searching for the verity of your so-called promises and pacts you had made when you were kids. It's all fun and games when you're kids, when you don't even think with a fraction of your mind and believe every word you say is genuine and candid. You and Yunho had your own sets of bargains ready by the age of fourteen; you were silly then, to consider yourself making covenants with your best friend about every little thing.

Not married till 30? You were going to marry each other.

No first kiss in your teens? You were going to be each other's firsts. And that applied to everything.

These were some of them, but the thought of being each other's first was a wild one. Luckily, you both had your first kiss at the age of sixteen; it was memorable for you, but terrible for Yunho as he remembers the girl he liked was only using him to make her ex jealous. It's all in the past. You're both twenty something now: twenty-one, one year away from graduating college. Of course, things, situations, conflicts, have taken turns for the better.

At the top of the stairs, it's just you and him, lost in the translation of the language your eyes spoke. What were you even trying to convey? Biting your lip, blinking uncontrollably while your heart pounds in your chest, too hard for you to think it would drop down to your gut. Maybe you were taking an apprehensive approach to your dynamic with him, because once it shifts, you know there's no going back.

Yunho clears his throat, looking away from you and stepping forward, "your bags are really heavy. What do you have in these?"

Your body shudders softly, squeaking at the absence of him next to you. "Just clothes."

"How many pairs did you get?"

"Not many..." you weren't sure if you were making sense to yourself, because you hadn't quite snapped out of your trance yet.

The little stare down at the top of the stairs was a homebound reverie to you. It put you in a deep state of cognisance, fulfilling your heart's desire because you were now persuaded by your stupid self to believe you had fallen in love with him. The soulmate type of love. Was it? It had to be. Because no one knows you like he does. Knowing every crack and crevice in your soul, knowing every little detail about you, remembering it, ingraining in his memory; he had to be in love with you, too. Right? It only made sense.

Yunho's long gone from your point of vision, and you're still stuck to the floor, contemplating, musing, or ruminating. No matter how you made overtures to your thinking, there was no way you'd think he reciprocates your feelings. Maybe it's too much wishful thinking. Has to be.

"Liyah, where the fuck are you?" he playfully calls out to you, his deep voice breaking you apart.

You shake your head and promenade down the narrow hallway once it the main structure branches into two; your house was like a labyrinth of hallways, and you'd find yourself lost in the maze at times. You don't know how Yunho remembers everything, but maybe it's habitual for him to remember, as much as you do for his house. Walking in your room, you find Yunho closing the balcony doors he had left open.

"No thoughts. Clear mind." You mumble to yourself before trudging further inside.

Yunho, alerted by your presence, turns around and offers you a smile. That goddamn smile. The one which shines brighter than the moon and the stars, heck, it would even put them to shame. His smile brought butterflies to your stomach, and the familiar feelings started bubbling under your skin. You were fucked.

Well, you might want to hold onto that thought just yet.

You're left to act on your instincts when he prances towards you and wraps your little frame in a bone crushing hug. He missed you. Clearly. His arms are tight and snug around your shoulders, his head tilting down to rest his chin on yours; your height difference gave him the biggest advantage ever, towering over you like a giant teddy bear. He was soft, and warm, comforting to you. Maybe why you did not think twice before hugging him back as tight as you could; you bury your head in his chest, inhaling his scent which was long lost in the virtual reality of FaceTimes. You missed him too. A lot.

Yunho always smelled like a sybaritic man, someone who'd be addicted to the life of luxury and pleasure. It was too sensual for you and your senses. Imagine, hugging your best friend who's basically sex on a stick. Yeah, your hormones were going crazy. Downtown crazy. You pull back from his embrace before you could feel yourself dripping in carnality by only inhaling the heart notes of his scent and step aside to fall onto your bed.

Not much was spoken. Not when you had practically snatched yourself out of his hold and flumped on the bed. Yunho doesn't bother saying anything to you, only maybe, he finds it better to just lay next to you on the bed. You prop yourself up by your elbows and turn your head to look at him; he was resting against the headboard with his head tilted to a side while his eyes remained fixed on you. There's a frail curl on his lips. And you wonder what it was about.

"I really needed that hug, thanks." You speak up, turning on your side and letting your head fall on the mattress; you still peeked at him.

Yunho couldn't bear the sight of you, innocently looking up at him through your lashes. He couldn't really help it either because your scent had put him in a daze of the past years, the reminiscent years of him stealing sniffs of you to realise how alluring your scent was. You always smelled luscious to him, having the hints of strawberry and coconut to your skin, your hair, and your lips even; he didn't know when he was addicted to you.

"Because of the breakup?" he asks, grabbing the fluffy pillow from next to him and hugging it close to his chest.

"Because I saw him again, before coming here," you blurt, "I wasn't ready for a confrontation. He approached me, already decided to win me back."

"What did you say to him?"

"I couldn't say anything," you mumble, "like words disintegrated on my tongue. I was blank. My heart desired to say one thing but my mind refrained from saying anything at all."

"You really weren't ready to see him," he snickers, "it speaks for the better of you, doesn't it?

"That I don't need him like I used to before?"

"You're growing independent," he points, "he never was the right choice for you, yet you let him get to the deepest parts of you. Liyah, don't make the mistake of going back to him. Find yourself a better man."

"I'm trying to," you sound despondent to him and he suggests, "there's not much time for the night to dawn over. I'll cook something for you and set up the rooftop, like the old times."

You sit up straighter, narrowing your eyes at him while your lower lip tugs down. "I don't trust you in the kitchen. Leave the cooking to me. You go set up the rooftop."

"You're leaving the hard part for me," he groans, running a hand through his hair. "Fine. But you know what I like right?"

"Lasagna? Mac and cheese? Jajangmyeon?" you list, pulling yourself out of the bed and staring at him, "I'm whipping up something easy. Too lazy to do go all culinary mode."

He gets out of the bed too, rolling his eyes at you before putting the pillow down. "Just make some P-B-and-J."

"We're not in middle school anymore," you state, already turning on your heels to exit the room. "I'll make some pasta."

"Whatever you want," he shrugs his shoulders and proceeds to walk to the balcony.

"I'll be back soon. Be careful upstairs."

"Don't worry, okay? I've done it countless times before. I'll be fine."

You nod and head downstairs to the kitchen. However, light on your feet, you were shaking with anticipation. Maybe this could be an opportunity to confess? It has to be right? Why else would he suggest it? You know your rooftop rendezvous have always been romantic; what's anti romantic about rooftop dinners? Nothing. Nothing compares to eating under the moonlight with the one you can rely on. It has been a long-time tradition for the two of you. The moment either of you spiralled down the road of depression or anxiety, you'd be up on the rooftop, looking at the stars.

In the kitchen, you're drifting around like a giant cloud, working yourself up to prepare good food for both of you. This is where you in a slump, thinking of easy ways to whip up something delicious. Given, you also had to consider the limited source of ingredients you have in the refrigerator. You're way too over your head, pondering. What if you make something disappointing? What if he doesn't like what you make? You're practically scratching the back of your neck, standing still in front of the closed refrigerator with thoughts circling around one thing; what to make.

Amidst the dense tranquility of the house, you groan out softly and pull the door of the refrigerator. Opening it, you find nothing of useful. This is atrocious. You're contemplating, deranged by the extremities of your mind, you have half a heart made up to prepare peanut butter and jelly sandwiches as he had suggested. But that is too basic. Is that what you would want to feed the man you had been in love with? Probably not.

Your dismayed conscience doesn't let you rest for even a second, immensely saturated on outdated thoughts and emotions; the noise in your head is quite louder than the affable footsteps resonating across the kitchen. It was when a warm hand had engulfed your shoulder bone, then you were brought to your reality with Yunho standing next to you. His face was shrouded with despair yet the desperate shine of the sinking sun had lighten up his eyes; he seemed to be in a melancholic state, lips jutting out. The warmth of his hand slips down your shoulder, alerting you somehow.

"Hey, what's wrong?" you ask, closing the refrigerator door.

He stood adjacent to the window, his ashen hair appearing as a cerulean tuft of sea, his face cherishing the golden glow. Was it possible for him to be any more attractive than he already is?

"I nicked my finger," he mutters, glancing down.

Your eyes trail along his, witnessing the alarming cut on his pinky finger. It was a long gash, deep even; why else would there be rivulets of blood cascading down his skin? Panic stricken, you hold his hand on yours, both of your palms cupped his hand to pull him closer to you. The contrasting shade of blood against his pale skin was terrifying, not as much, but it was genuinely intimidating. More blood oozes out when you bring his hand under your sharp gaze to inspect.

"How can you be so clumsy, Yunho?" you half-yell, half-question him, nibbling on your lower lip.

"I was careful, okay? I don't know how I cut myself; probably on the roof tile or something, I don't know," he explains, exasperated.

"Does it hurt?"

"No."

"I don't see..." you tilt his hand in a way to catch it under the dimming light of the sun coming through the window. "There isn't anything stuck in the cut."

He stays quiet, watching you, leaning over your petite body to wonder what you had been observing for long; it was certainly disporting to him, how you were so keen on studying the little slash on his skin, rather than his eyes which had been speaking to you for years. Absolutely ridiculous. He knows how you were, how eye contact always brought you a sense of unease and discomfort. And maybe holding a serious stare down with him might have been too heavy on your heart, because he even knows how desperately it hammered in your chest.

Biting down on his lower lip, Yunho refrains every strain in his muscles to lift up your chin and kiss your lips right there and then. He had been eager to taste them, always was. You have no idea how dire his yearning is, how avidly he dreams to be with you. In a broader perspective, he understands when to wear his heart on his sleeve and make it obvious to you. And for the time being, he hadn't found the perfect moment to. Not when you were used to relying on him for comfort every time you had a break up. He might not show it, but he absolutely despised all your ex boyfriends, he was jealous too. And listening to your tales of how they treated you, he certainly felt his blood boil. You deserved nothing but queen treatment, and none of your past ventures were treating you like the queen you are.

There's a stifling ache in Yunho's heart, burning all the way to his throat till he's suffocating in the silence he created.

"Come here," you softly tug at his hand, bringing him to the sink, "we'll get this washed first and later we can treat it."

Your attention is focused on his bleeding hand, which showed no signs of stopping any soon. Turning the tap on, you keep his hand under the running water and while the water splashes through, the cut becomes cleaner and devoid of blood. Regardless, it doesn't stop the bleeding.

"Okay, it won't stop bleeding," you grumble, hastily turning the tap off. "What were you thinking, Yunho? How can you be so careless? Oh geez..."

"Hey, it's not that bad, come on." He tries to reassure you, "just slap on a bandaid and it'll be fine."

"It's not going to be fine!" you yell at him, "look at your hand, its like a faucet right now. How do you think a bandaid can stop this?"

You had given your rational and calm thinking to the anxiety; not understanding what to do, you take a step back and stare at him. Helpless. That's what you felt, over a little cut on his finger which won't stop bleeding.

"You're panicking for no reason, Liyah." He sighs, bringing his hand close to his face, "think with a clear mind. Do you have any turmeric with you?"

You nod your head, remembering there's a small jar of turmeric in the back of your condiments cabinet. Quick on your feet, you rush to the cabinet and raise yourself on your tippy toes to open it; once opening it, you scour through it and grab the bottle of turmeric.

"Okay, and?" you stand in front of him, holding the bottle tightly in your hand.

"Take some out and press it gently on my cut," he murmurs, offering you an encouraging smile.

You do as he says, pinching out a little bit of turmeric and pressing it lightly against the cut. The yellow condiment clots with the blood, ceasing the bleed in mere seconds; his hand was still streaked crimson, which was starting to dry on his skin. You should probably tell him to wash it before it leaves a taint behind, but you're too riveted by his hazy smile to let that thought come across your tongue. However what does come to your mind is to bash him for his stupidity.

Taking a breath of relief, you stare at him and groan, "you stupid little jerk! What if it had been serious than that? God..."

"Yeah, even in those circumstances you need to be levelheaded. Panicking won't bring you much satisfaction." He whines, "you wouldn't last a day in nursing school."

You poke your tongue out at him, "I don't need to."

"Silly goose," he mutters under his breath and rolls his eyes.

You were growing too fond of the current situation to retaliate in any way. How often did you get the opportunity to hold his hand? Considering you were best friends there were countless opportunities where you had the chance to. But this was different. Very different from the old times; you were alluded by his eyes to even move away from him. It's not very often that you get caught up like this, with a setting sun, a beautiful gradient of orange and red covering your faces in its sheer glow, and the dithered proximity of nothingness.

Minutes drag by in silence, you didn't want to be the first who moves back, and he didn't want to either. Sullen by the growing darkness, as the sun departs and calls out to the moon to illuminate the world, you're forced to take a step back. You clear your throat, dropping your hands to your side at first, then you timidly tug a few loose strands of your hair behind your ear.

"It's good to know that you care so much," he blurts out of nowhere, heaving out a breath thereafter, "but you really don't need to worry so much about me. Save that worry for someone who actually deserves it."

"Are you saying, you don't?" you prompt, glancing down at the floor; as the moonlight breaks through the window, you're struck by your inviting silhouettes stretching on the floor.

"I'm not," he whispers, "I don't deserve all of it."

"Oh," you drawl, "you don't have to be such a saint, Yunho. I know my heart."

He takes a step closer to you, "so your heart says to worry about me all the time? Does it grieve when I'm in pain? Does it know what my heart feels?"

"Why are you being so difficult to reason with right now?" you muse, wanting to run away from him, because he had taken another step closer to you, "Liyah, do you even know what..."

"It doesn't matter," you shake your head, suffocated by the closeness between you two. "Your wound's better now. I'll make something easy and meet you upstairs. Just—just carry the six pack with you."

Yunho had something to say, but he suppresses every bit of him and watches you head over to the refrigerator. He stands by your side when you pick up the six pack from the refrigerator; without making a sound, he takes it from your hand and leaves you stranded in the kitchen. There you are, alone in the dark with your gruelling afterthoughts on your outburst. Could it even be termed as an outburst?

Whilst you're closing the refrigerator door, your phone buzzes in the back pocket of your shorts. When you bring it out, you're not surprised to receive several texts from your mom.

Mom 🦋🩵 hey i know its really rude of me to keep you alone and you're just back from college... but i dont think i can make it home early i'll try to get out of here as soon as i can though till then, just spend your time with yunho I'm assuming he's still there see you soon, bby lol

You need to tell her that L-O-L means something else; no one uses it to abbreviate "lots of love" anymore. Stifling a laugh, you urge out a groan because now things were about to get even more awkward between you and Yunho. If at least your mom had been here with you, she would've kept you in loop and not made it seem so awkward.

The fate was on your side to ruin your relationship with him, it seems. Because there's no way you would be able to confess your feelings now. Not that you know he doesn't really care or reciprocate to them. How pathetic. You had been hoping for everything to surf the smooth waves, but in reality it was all crashing down like the high tides in the ocean. Could you really see yourself falling into the deep sea, where barren waters are symbolic of your love for him? You weren't sure anymore.

As the night dwindles along with uncertain time, you are making your way upstairs to your room; the way to the rooftop was through your balcony, a short ladder adhered to the adjacent wall which lead up to a plain space amidst the conceding panels of your roof. It was only a flat surface with meagre space, the centre was covered with cozy picnic blanket. Yunho sat by himself, legs crossed and knees to his chest; he stared up at the sky, looking at the array of glimmering stars. His hair moved with the air, the frisky night breeze playing with him and leaving behind tender caresses against his face.

He grows aware of your presence, as you come to sit down next to him. Placing the plate of food between you two, you bring your knees to your chest as well and stare up at the sky; you were mimicking him, his details. A while goes in silence when he sighs and turns to you, his eyes linger on yours before glancing down at the plate between you two.

"P-B-and-Js?" he muses, letting his lips curl by a corner. "Someone settled for easy."

You roll your eyes, "do you want it or not?"

"Of course," he mumbles, picking up a piece from the plate before taking a bite of it. Amidst all, he hands you a beer from the six pack, "you need to catch up with me."

As you take the bottle from his hand, he waves his own, having held it in his other hand; the bottle had been half-empty, impatiently guzzled. You're muddled as you stare at the crown of the bottle, not knowing how to remove it. Yunho breathes out, expressing his annoyance playfully before snatching the bottle out of your hand and giving you his to hold.

"No problemo," he teases, fishing out his car keys from his jeans and propping it right under the crown; with one simple tug, the crown flies off and falls down, leaving the beer to bubble up. "There you go, ma'am."

"Thank you," you mock, taking the bottle from his hand and giving his back. "You have nice tricks up your sleeve."

"Oh, you don't know..." as he trails off, silence settles between you two.

In the ambiguous nightfall, you two are brooding over little things of your life; the past where neither of you had made it obvious you had a thing for each other. Maybe, you did. You made it so obvious for him to catch up on the hints. But Yunho being Yunho, never got around them. In this solitude of quietness, you wonder if you could speak your heart to him. If you could let go of what shackles you and set your heart free. You wanted to tell him everything, what, how and why.

"Stars bring you a sense of wonder, don't they?" he speaks up, glancing at you before looking back up at the stars.

"I believe they remind me how small we are in the vastness of creation, in the space, in the deliberate cosmos," you mumble, biting your lower lip as you take a sip of your beer. "Why do you ask?"

"I don't know," he shrugs lightly, "maybe I'm questioning our existence amid the macrocosm. Or, perhaps I am looking for more profound definitions to our bond."

"We're friends, Yunho," you whisper, wispy and breathless, "we have been close to each other since we could remember."

"What if our destiny had been written in the stars?" he questions, turning fully towards you. "It's not coincidental for us to have everything so perfectly arranged; the stars had to do something with our fates. To intertwine them, to make them..."

You don't say a word, whiling in the serenity of arrant obscurity. The light booze was bitter on your tongue, but not as bitter as the words you had trapped.

"Are you instigating something, Yunho?" you guzzle a good amount of beer before picking out a piece of sandwich.

"Maybe I am," his eyes were fixated on you, reading every minute movement, "do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

You turn to face him, mouth full with the bite of sandwich you took, and your eyes seemingly teary. There's something in the way he was looking at you, plump lips trembling in an attempt to get the remaining words out of his mouth, but he did not make a sound. You were too eager to hear him speak; continue with the conundrum he had brought up.

Was he the one confessing?

Was he the first to do so?

So, he does reciprocate your feelings, doesn't he?

"Liyah, I—"

Ping! Ping! Ping!

Your phone rings out loud, alerting you of the incoming texts; you flinch, pulling yourself away from Yunho and taking your phone out from the pocket of your shorts. Caught in a daze, you read the texts you had received.

Song Mingi.

What did he want now?

You open your chats with him and go through the texts.

Mingi 🎀 hey! heard you're back in town why didn't you call me? anyway, since you're back are you free right now? the couple of us are going cliff diving you know, by the abandoned railway line let me know you're in san gets cranky when he doesn't have a total headcount. :)

You quickly reply back to him.

You sure! who else is gonna be there?

You get an immediate response from him.

Mingi 🎀 san, me, alexis, chris felix and jiyeon maybe and yunho... he's with you right? can you ask him? i texted him hours ago he hasn't responded yet

You glance at Yunho and then back at your blaring screen; though, you weren't feeling all too well noticing Yunho shift his attention from you to the stars.

You i'll drag him with me if I have to don't worry we'll be there where do we meet?

Mingi 🎀 oh, everyone's bringing their own cars so i think it's better if we meet directly at the spot leave soon! we're already on our way there. see you shortly bye xoxo

You alright!

You put your phone back inside your pocket, and then proceed to put the half-eaten sandwich back in the plate; tapping Yunho's shoulder lightly, you get his attention.

"Who was it?" he asks, taking a swig of his beer.

"Mingi," you add, "he's invited us to cliff diving." You gulp the remaining bit of your beer and wince, "where's your phone? He's complaining that you aren't paying him enough attention."

"Ah, that dick," he curses under his breath and hastily pulls out his phone from the pocket of his jeans. "My phone has been on silent from the morning."

He goes through his text messages while you finish your beer and place the empty bottle down. "Did you say yes to that?"

"Yeah, why not?" you shrug, "cliff diving sounds really fun. Come on, we should leave already."

Getting on your feet carefully, you dust your the back of shorts unconsciously and as you are about to leave, Yunho sneaks up from behind. One hand on your shoulder, other holding the bottle of beer, he takes a gulp of the drink before murmuring, "are you sure you want to go? It won't be awkward for you with Mingi there?"

You chuckle, "Mingi and I are okay. We're out of the awkward phase."

"Alright," he murmurs and finishes his beer.

Dropping his hand from your shoulder, he follows you back downstairs; the six pack and plate of food are still lying on the rooftop, while the two of you are in the living room. Yunho picks up his abandoned jacket from the couch's armrest and shrugs it on. You do the same, draping the kimono on your shoulders, the one you had taken off after coming home. Meeting with the chilly air outside, you walk to your car parked in the driveway, but Yunho stops you.

"Let's take my car," he suggests, nudging his head in the direction of his house.

"Fine by me." You shrug and pout, finding no harm in the suggestion.

On the way over to his house, Yunho pulls you close to his side by hooking his arm around your shoulder. Your feet fall in synch as you take long strides together; past the broad metal gates of his house, you're strolling on the yellow bricked promenade surrounded by lush bushes, seemingly of flowers which release their heavenly scent at night. The night bloomers, if that thing even exists. You're swayed to the musky undertones of Yunho's scent and the mirth of the grass, not understanding what was happening in your heart or your mind.

For one moment you and Yunho are on the brink of confessing your feelings for each other and the next you're taking a step back and pretending to be okay. Does that even make sense to you? Because it wouldn't make sense to anyone else.

Yunho rubs circles on your shoulders, rubbing his hand thereafter. "It seems like we have a lot of unresolved things to talk about. We'll deal with them later, right?"

You nod, humming along. "Maybe those things don't need resolving. Maybe we just need to be upfront."

"Maybe we do." He mumbles under his breath and once you've gotten close to the garage, he lets go of you.

Standing at a distance, you hug yourself to prevent the cold from seeping in your heart. The gelid breeze of the night is known to be exuberant. You wait for Yunho to bring the car outside, somewhat lost in the meagre revels this night has to offer. The roar of a car's engine reverberates, snapping you out of your reverie to find yourself staring at Yunho's car. He flashes you a worried look before nudging his head at you; taking the sign, you hasten yourself to settle in the passenger's seat.

"You're zoning out awfully lot, Liyah," Yunho states while you buckle yourself in. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, Yunho," you assure him, slightly irked by his constant worry. "Let's go, we don't want to make them wait."

Yunho sighs, as if he had given up on you, "okay."

The drive is lot quieter than it would've been if you hadn't ticked off Yunho. Well to say in the least, you both were not in the mood to speak anything at all. The radio was too loud any way, you did not need the silence to be filled with useless babbles. You're staring out of the window, watching the trees pass you by as the night approaches a new beginning. Distant landscapes of open fields and mountains soon disintegrate to a dense forest; the valley starts off from this point on, where the abandoned railway bridge levitates over a lake.

When you find the cluster of cars parked in a small open space, Yunho slows down and pulls his own in line. Killing the engine, he gets the keys out and unlocks the doors. You get out without hesitation or even waiting for Yunho. The nightly air carries a sublime scent of earth and sod, while you're hugging your chest and straying away from Yunho. You could hear the distant chatters accompanied by laughter.

The trees only start growing in number, forming thickets and engulfing everything in their darkness. You find your group of friends standing under a giant elm tree; there were exactly the people who Mingi had mentioned before. San, Chris, Felix, Alexis and Jiyeon, engaged in a conversation led by Mingi. They're standing in a circle, dispersed away from each other; San and Chris had a smoke in between their lips, it made sense why the others maintained distance from them.

Your feet crunch on the dried foliage, hailing their attentions to you as you walk past to stand next to Mingi. The pink haired man offers you a small smile, a curve soon vanishing as he glances in your direction to find Yunho swaying along. Mingi doesn't wait until his best friend is closer to him, he sprints in enthusiasm and hugs the man he had been waiting for. The two share a gripping embrace, while the others engage with you.

To say you missed them, it would be an understatement. All of the ones present here, except for Mingi, left the town to find better opportunities for themselves. Everyone is in different cities now, some studying, some having full time jobs. Your eyes lurk around, rummaging from face to face. San hasn't changed a bit, he was still the guy who loved to dress in all black; he wore a black shirt and black pants, heavy platforms on his feet while his tattoos peeked out from under the sleeve of his shirt. Chris and Felix had a contrasting appearance to them from the last time you had seen them; Chris has gotten buff and toned, his arms bulging and flexing under the cutout shirt he wore, even his thighs were insanely toned under the denim shorts. Felix is still the cute little guy, still wearing his jumpers. Jiyeon is still conservative, having her body covered from head to toe with a maxi dress and as usual, Alexis is being the fashion icon that she is, dressed in chic clothes; a crop top and shorts, exposing as much skin as she could.

"We almost thought you wouldn't come," San begins, blowing out a cloud of white smoke.

Jiyeon follows after, "considering you and Mingi shared that night together, you know the night of our graduation party."

You roll your eyes, slapping your hand on her back as she was on your right, "do you have to bring it up?"

"Yeah, maybe nothing happened between them," Alexis blurts, but then glances at you, "what?"

"Nothing really happened between us." You state.

"Oh, come on, Liyah," Chris says with his thick accent, "everyone has been talking about you two since that night. The town needs gossip."

Felix rolls his eyes, "this town is a deadbeat place, all of us left for a reason."

"Yeah, to seek more opportunities." Mingi crawls back to the circle, Yunho behind him by a few steps. "The town is not a deadbeat town. You guys were obsessed with the idea of leaving."

"Yeah, homie," San chimes, "you stayed back because of your family quarry."

"Do you have any wild animals there?" Jiyeon asks, curiosity peaking in her tone.

"A few bears, a passal of boars, and a herd of antelopes." Mingi puts into words, "the hunting season will start after the summer camp ends."

"Ooh, hunting. Sounds fun," Chris cheers, throwing his burning cigarette down on the ground and stomping on it. "Count me in for that."

"Is it even safe—"

"—hey, Yunho!" Alexis's scream interrupts you, and you watch the said woman leaping into Yunho's arms for an uncalled hug.

Not cool.

Mingi comes to stand next to you, hugging you sideways. It catches you off guard, but you settle into his touch as the seconds pass. Well, you needed it. Because you were bubbling with jealousy as Alexis and Yunho hug. You clear your throat loudly, forcing the two to break their embrace and while they do step back, they start exchanging remarks. Flirty remarks.

Alexis squeezes his arms, "someone's been working out."

Yunho scratches the back of his neck and waves her off. "Not as much working out as lifting manikins for classes."

"You're still doing great," she replies, using her high-pitched giggle. "Speaking of which, how's the college treating you?"

They're lost in a conversation while you're bitterly biting back on your tongue to prevent yourself from cursing someone out. Mingi's arm gets tighter around your shoulder and tugs you close to his body.

You grumble, "she has no reason to stick to him like that."

"And you have no reason to be jealous," San mumbles, interjecting in Mingi's thoughts; he puts out his cigarette by throwing it down and stomping on it.

"He's right," Mingi shrugs, "we know you like Yunho. But he doesn't. There's nothing official between you two, so he's liable for some harmless flirting."

Jiyeon pipes in, "if you ask me, Liyah took too much time to understand her own feelings. You can't be attracted to someone out of nowhere. Either you always are, or you're just blinded by lust."

"Jiyeon makes sense," Felix gives you his two cents, "time waits for none, Liyah. If you had the guts to tell him how you felt on the night of our graduation party...who knows, you might've been together now."

"Why are we yapping, guys?" Chris groans, "Liyah's relationship problems only get worse when they're discussed. We're here to dive. And I don't want to waste my night solving some broken lovers' quarrel."

"I would have to agree with this counterpart," Felix mutters, "before the night gets too dark and ambiguous for us, let's just do what we came here to do."

"See, I told you, no one has any business discussing my issues with Yunho," you grumble, taking a step ahead, "I'm here for a nice swim and nothing else."

Mingi follows in your steps, San and Jiyeon do too; Chris and Felix are behind you all, while Yunho and Alexis are the last ones to be in your pursuit. The walk to the bridge was short, merely spanning for about ten minutes; the railway tracks are buried deep in the count, covered with moss and creepers now. Over the seasons, this place gets denser and thicker, one cannot discern a proper path and might get lost.

The moisture laden air hits your face first, dissipating your jealousy as along the walk you couldn't help but think about Yunho and Alexis at the back, flirting and touching.

Mingi places his hand on your shoulder, "race you to the beams?"

You smirk and spring on your feet, running before he could; the beams were these two broad metal bars holding the front of the bridge, these spanned the entire bridge, adhering and supporting the structure over the water. The rusted beams leave a streak of red on your hand when you touch it, while teasing Mingi with your tongue. Others are right behind you, leisurely strolling.

"Wanna go first?" Mingi asks, pulling his graphic tee over his head and leaving him bare; his body was still drool worthy, having a small crescent moon tattooed on his chest.

He gets out of his pants, exposing himself in snug briefs which outlines his cock all too well. Slipping out of his shoes and socks, he makes sure to not step on any gravel under him. He tugs at the waistband of his briefs, and then extends his hand toward you; patiently waiting for you to take it in yours.

You smile at him, smugly. Ridding yourself off your sandals, kimono, camisole, and your shorts, you stand next to him partially naked. Ignoring the low sounding whistles directed at you, it was probably Chris or someone else; although, you were hoping Yunho had caught up on you and your figure, that is if he wasn't busy entertaining Alexis. It was a good day to choose matching lacy underwear, the material flimsy and a little see-through to show off how beautiful your body is. Wind cuts to your skin, suddenly feeling cold; you take Mingi's hand in yours and he leads along the track. In the moment, you're least bothered about the others, only focusing on your hand laced with Mingi's.

He guides you over a wide barricade, making you take a short leap before you're carefully tiptoeing on the narrow edge hanging over the large water body. Your heart palpitates in your chest, falling into your gut as the adrenaline kicks in. The distance between the bridge and the lake aren't much, just enough for your body to spiral down into the depth; around 25 feet maybe.

Mingi squeezes your hand tightly, getting your attention. "On the count of three."

You nod.

"One."

"Two."

"Three."

As the last count echos in your mind, you jump. The support from beneath your feet slipping off, now an empty void of anticipation; you're falling down with Mingi, wind brushing against your body to resist the fall. In the whiling seconds, you come in contact with the frigid barrier of water, then your body submerges inside. Water envelopes you all around, burying you in splintering waves of coldness. You hadn't realised when your hand had slipped off of Mingi's grip, not that it mattered now. Cold currents bubble around you when you swim up to the surface, finding Mingi only a few meters away from you.

Your wet hair sticks close to your skin and face, framing along your cheeks as you try to push away most of it from your eyes. Mingi's hair is in the same condition; he adorns a wide smile on his lips, eyes blinking away the remaining water while he swims closer to you. The warmth of his body captures yours in a gentle touch, arms entwined in your waist, and his face only inches away.

You're laughing, giggling, the sound itself mellifluous to his ears. Clinging onto him, he somehow manages to keep the two of you afloat. In your unconscious state, you wrap your legs around his waist, pushing yourself into his chest.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" he asks you, rubbing his thumbs into the small of your back.

"Making Yunho jealous?"

He juts his lower lip out. "If you're comfortable with it."

"I think we're already making him jealous."

You glance over your shoulder, tilting your head to look up above; the vast distance doesn't let you discern anything happening on the bridge, yet it brings you a new high of exhilaration thinking about making Yunho envious of you and Mingi. A few more minutes pass and Mingi swims both of you away from the point of impact. More chaos is heard above on the bridge, and with your curiosity bursting apart at the seams, you glance up again to find two silhouettes jumping down.

Splash!

The water around them makes a big splatter, creating waves along the way; when the two shirtless figures resurface, you catch a glint of Chris's lip ring and a glimpse of Felix's blond hair. The two of them are quick to swim toward you two, their laughter echoing across the silent cosmos of forest and the night.

"Fuck, that was incredible," Chris remarks, brushing his hair away from his face.

"Agreed," Felix adds, a little out of breath.

Mingi holds you tighter to him and you realise he had started to lose his hold on you. "I think me and Liyah are going to swim to the shore."

"Yeah, wait for us. I don't think I have enough guts to do this a second time," Felix sputters, spitting out a mouthful of water.

"You're no fun, Felix." Chris comments, and he's interrupted by couple of yells.

Jiyeon and San were next, followed by Yunho and Alexis when a long beat passes; you were still strapped to Mingi's waist, and realising you had been weighing him down, you take the effort to push yourself off of him and remain solitary. Even so, Mingi stays close by you, trying to support you to stay afloat. Water sloshes even more when Jiyeon and San join you all. Jiyeon comes up for air, coughing out water and slicking her hair back; San is right behind her, snickering deeply as though he was enjoying himself.

"I am never letting you guys talk me into anything like this!" Jiyeon complains, her hair clinging to her face.

San heaves out a chuckle, grabbing her by the shoulders and pushing her down in the water. Jiyeon is taken off guard, and as she comes back on the surface, courtesy of San to pull her back up, she gasps for air, panting and coughing.

"You're—you're fucking dead Choi San." She aims a punch at him, and it lands perfectly against his shoulder.

"What, it was fun! You should step out of your comfort zone more often, Ji." San dodges a couple of punches until she stops; Jiyeon was shivering.

Yunho and Alexis were swimming side by side, listening to the two make a chaos. Your eyes had never left Yunho in that moment, the second he and Alexis resurfaced, you couldn't stop staring at him. Shirtless, his skin glimmered against the moonlight, the water coated his skin in a thin sheet while his ashen blue hair was drenched and stuck to his forehead. He tries to pick at a few strands, pushing them away to expose his forehead. Panting softly, he lets a smile stretch his lips. Though when his eyes landing on you and Mingi, his smile disappears.

"Don't tease her, Sannie," Alexis groans, "if you like her so much, just be straightforward. All the teasing is too old school."

Jiyeon's cheeks turn red, striking vividly under the moonlight. "Shut up, Alexis."

"Maybe she has a point," Yunho adds, "the teasing and mocking tactic is useless with girls now. They need men who are more candid."

Chris chortles, "we all know how straightforward you've been, Yun. Maybe a little too much to have a reputation around high school."

"Oh please," Yunho retorts, laughing along with him, "girls practically threw themselves at me, then."

"And you were a man with principles to not let their efforts be vain." Mingi mumbles, nonchalantly.

"Come on, guys," you chime in, a smile curling your lips, "we all know who had a reputation in high school. So, pinpointing Yunho isn't proving anything. Especially you, Chris."

"Miss congeniality is at her man's rescue again." Chris replies, rolling his eyes at you.

"Hey, leave it, Chris." Yunho speaks up, leaning back into the water, "it's a beautiful night, why ruin it on something so trivial. Let's put our differences aside for a night, huh?"

Mingi agrees, "yeah, I'm with him on this. We're all seeing each other after what, months? Weeks? Years? It'd be stupid to argue anyway."

"I think the bonding can happen out of the water too, because I'm not staying in here for a long time," you add, and earn a couple of hums in response; Alexis, Jiyeon and Felix had agreed to you.

And to your unbridled surprise, they are the first ones to swim towards the shore. There isn't much distance between you and the shore. From your better judgement, it must be, give or take, 10 metres from where you were. Hurtling a soft squeak, you begin swimming away from your group of friends. Mingi is right next to you, paddling through the water; when the water starts shallowing you out, you know you've reached the grimly edge of the landmass extending into the lake. You pace yourself and get on your feet, skimming over the washed borderline and stepping on the gravel.

"Definitely refreshing." You remark, smiling at Mingi who's walking out of the water.

"What else would you need on a summer night?" he chortles, stretching his arms over his head, "do you wanna go again?"

"I wish," you sigh, shuffling your hair to get some water out, "I don't want to catch a cold."

"Understandable," he mutters.

"I'm never trusting you ever again, Mingi." Jiyeon scoffs, "this was dangerous. Way dangerous. What if the water was infested with crocodiles? Or um, snakes? Had you given it any thought before dragging us here?"

"Oh, please," Felix pipes in, "it's a small lake, it can't be that bad."

Alexis giggles, "lakes can be a home for many creatures; snakes are one of them."

"Oh, my lord," Jiyeon groans, "I'm going to kill San."

"So, I'm thinking you're not going to stay around for long?" Alexis instigates and Jiyeon nods her head, crossing her arms over her chest, "I'm not. And neither is San."

"May gods bless thee," Mingi mocks, rubbing his hand over his face, "what about you, Liyah? Staying for another round?"

"I actually don't want to..." you trail off, eyeing behind him as Yunho walks out of the water, followed by Chris and San. "But I was here with Yunho, and I don't think he'd want to leave any sooner."

"I can drop you off," Mingi shrugs, stepping close to you.

"Drop who off?" Yunho repeats, shaking his head like a puppy to get rid of the water in his hair.

Alexis streamlines to his side, subtly, however. Yunho doesn't pay her any mind for the time being, his attention solely focused on you and Mingi. You couldn't concentrate on the matter at hand because you were too distracted by Yunho's bare figure; his body wasn't as buff as Chris or Mingi, or even San for that matter, but he was well built at places he should be. For some reason, you couldn't quite take your eyes off his body, his lower half precisely. The way his briefs stuck to his thighs and crotch, defined the very vague details of his cock. At least now you know what the girls in high school had been talking about, all those rumours of him being 'huge' were starting to reappear in your mind. And you could say, those were no rumours. Those were facts.

"Oh, Liyah wants to go home." Mingi replies, bringing you out of your daze, "since she came with you..."

You step in, feeling the need to be clearer and firmer, "well it seems like you want to stay here for a little longer and I don't want to ruin it for you."

"I can leave with you if you want," Yunho deadpans.

"No, it's fine," you mutter, eyes glazing over Alexis who was now shooting you daggers with her own, "you're meeting everyone after a long time. Might as well enjoy that while it lasts. Mingi already offered, so it's really fine."

"Yeah, we aren't staying around either," Jiyeon scowls, stomping over to San and grabbing him by his arm, "you're leaving with me. And dare if you invite me back for something stupid like this, again."

"Okay, ma'am," San offers a two-finger salute as she drags him along by the arm; he looks over his shoulder and frowns, "I gotta go, homies. Have more fun in my stead."

Jiyeon rolls her eyes at his dramatic speech. Felix catches up with the two and informs us, turning around for a mere second. "This was fun guys, but I think I'll leave too. Don't go too crazy."

"Are you sure you want to be a third wheel between them?" Chris questions, stroking his lower lip to adjust his lip ring.

Felix rolls his eyes and blows a raspberry, giving him a thumbs down. You shift in your place and tug on Mingi's hand, "I think we should leave too."

Mingi nods, looking down at you, "sure." he then turns to others, "be careful, lads."

"We're hiking back up with you, dodo." Alexis rolls her eyes, pushing herself close to Yunho's side; she let her chest brush against his back, eventually she takes his arm in her hold and drags him ahead.

Finding Yunho's gaze fixated on you while he stumbles on his feet along her, the suffocation in the pit of your stomach rises. You wonder what he was thinking, or if he was simply acting out on his jealousy. Though when you look at him sticking to Alexis like that, all your sentiments regarding him, shatter to pieces. While a tinge of envy does arise in your heart, it also brings you a little peace knowing, you had somewhat managed to make him jealous too. An eye for an eye. Only you were waiting for the time when both of you would go blind.

Mingi wraps his arm around your shoulders and pulls you with him. His warmth is a little treat to yourself, and his presence was your saving grace. You and Mingi were good friends, not as good as you were with Yunho, but you were getting there. As said before, you and Mingi did share a good time together on the night of your graduation party. Something which you had kept under the wraps to prevent your friends from gossiping, or overall prevent Yunho from knowing about it. No matter how hard you tried to hide it, Yunho couldn't fully give his doubts away. He kept suspecting you and Mingi for a few months, until he let go of it in all and moved on from his silly suspicions.

After hiking up the small, elevated terrain to the parking spot, barefoot and wet, you find San, Jiyeon and Felix drying themselves off to the wind. They have their clothes strewn on the trunk of San's car. Jiyeon shivers slightly, coming her hand through her wet hair. Felix and San are busy in a conversation, least bothered about the gauzy cold. In a haste, Chris walks over from behind you and stumbles to his car; he opens the driver's door and pulls out a pack of cigarettes from the side pockets on the door.

So he was a smoker, now. Great.

"I'll go get our clothes. Wait here." Mingi smiles at you, leaving you by his car and disappearing down the inscrutable tracks.

You lean against the trunk of his car, arms over your chest, contemplating and agonisingly listening to Alexis use her pitched voice to flirt with Yunho. Her secondhand compliments were giving you secondhand embarrassment. How can Yunho even tolerate her? Maybe he was too distracted by the way her tits were spilling out of her bra. And you couldn't give a fuck. It's ironic, isn't it? He was minutes away from confessing his feelings for you and now he's sticking to someone who's not. And it all happened because you were too proud in your ways to dally with him.

"Anyone wants to join us for late night dinner?" San announces, "we're going to Amelia's."

Chris raises his hand, "count me in."

Felix retorts, "I thought you were prepared for a round two of diving."

"Maybe now I'm having second thoughts." He blows out a smoke and slams the car door shut. "I wouldn't mind going for a bite."

Yunho shrugs, "me too. All that swimming famished me. And I cannot resist Amelia's deli sandwich."

"Count me in too," Alexis sings, "we both have a lot of catching up to do, don't we?" she bats her lashes at Yunho, who smiles down at her, whispering, "of course, we do. And we need to test all the things you've been texting me."

You don't catch on the very last of his words as they get too inaudible to perceive, but from the smirk on his face, you knew he had double intentions to it.

"What about you, Liyah?" Jiyeon asks and you shake your head, "I'll have to take a rain check. It's just that I'm not hungry. I just want to jump in my bed and knock myself out."

Till the time you reply to her, Mingi comes back with both of your clothes and your sandals. He already had his shoes on when you glance at his feet. "What are you guys talking about?"

"Going to Amelia's, wanna join?" Chris says.

Mingi waves his free hand in the air, "sounds fun, but I don't think I can tolerate that place anymore. You guys can go."

"Alright," Jiyeon mumbles, "so, you and Liyah aren't coming with us..."

Alexis takes on the hint, "they probably want to get busy for the night."

"A late night check in at the hotel vag. Nice work, Mingi." San quips.

Mingi rolls his eyes, "think whatch'ya wanna."

Your flustered cheeks leave no room for others to think of the obvious, or whatever that had been cooking in their heads; Yunho, however, wasn't too impressed by anyone's remarks, neither was he too fond your cherry glazed cheeks. He wasn't the reason why you were blushing; it was Mingi. His ego doesn't let him believe it.

Mingi ignores the low sounding hoots from his friends and hands you your clothes, the camisole and shorts, alongside your kimono. Your lingerie was still drenched in water, and it would be more sensible if you remove them before wearing your clothes. He puts your sandals in front of your feet, and you slip into them easily; keeping the clothes on his car's trunk, you glance at Mingi with hesitance and then clear your throat.

"Do you have anything to cover me while I... you know...get rid of my wet underwear?" you whisper to him, keeping your words between the two of you only. Not that you were worried about other's overhearing you, because they were too engrossed in themselves to be bothered about you two anymore.

Without saying anything, Mingi goes around his car and pulls out the passenger's door; he has a black jacket slung on his forearm as he makes his way back to you.

"Would this work?"

"Sure." You tell him, "just hold it up, I'll change behind it."

Mingi's cheeks turn red, visibly red. "Are you sure you want me to do it and not..."

"He's busy wooing Alexis for the night, so..." you walk to the front of the car, where one side of it was shrouded with darkness and dense branches of trees.

Mingi does as you suggest him to, holding his oversized jacket up to create a curtain for you to change behind it. You quickly get out of the wet bra and panties, and pull your camisole over your head, then the shorts follow. It feels eldritch at first to wear your clothes without your underwear, but you had no other choice but to. Once you settle into it, there's no awkwardness against your skin, and you tell Mingi to lower the jacket. The man had his eyes closed and head turned at all times, showing off his gentlemanliness.

"That was fast," he continues, "for your information, I wasn't looking at all."

"That's fine, Mingi." You laugh and walk past him.

He's right behind you, "but I think you still have a little bit of issue?"

You glance down at your camisole to find your nipples hard and poking through the soft material. "Oops, I actually do."

Mingi gives you his jacket, without hesitating. "Put it on. I'll be back soon."

You shrug his jacket over. It reeked of his scent, a little bit of nicotine and cinnamon musk. The jacket covered almost everything of you, reaching till your mid thighs. It kept you warm, maybe a little warmer than you had liked it to be. Joining the others, you stand next to Jiyeon, waiting for Mingi as he changes into his clothes where you had changed.

"Ooh, Mingi's jacket, isn't it?" Jiyeon teases, noticing you standing next to her.

You scoff, "it's not what you think."

Unconsciously or consciously, your eyes scatter in search of Yunho amongst the familiar faces. He's not there, neither is Alexis. Your stomach rumbles with jealousy, only a little.

"Don't look for him, he's not here," Chris slurred his words.

"Him and Alexis have gone to bring their clothes and stuff," San shrugs, "are you trying to make him jealous, Liyah?"

"Me? Jealous? Me making him jealous? Oh please," you roll your eyes, scoffing.

"Just thought, because he's been riling you up for nothing; him and Alexis are getting on your nerves it seems." San adds.

Mingi whistles along, marking his presence next to you and while he does, Yunho and Alexis walk out of the dark, hand in hand, both smiling at each other for some apparent reason. You twist your nose and look away, turning yourself to Mingi, you cling by his arm and bury it in between your tits. Mingi is obviously taken back by your stern action, and so does it catch Yunho and the other's off guard.

"Let's go, Mingi," you pout, looking up at him, "we should leave. I'm cold and I want to take a nice warm shower with you."

San rolls his eyes. Chris scoffs. Jiyeon snickers. And Felix curses under his breath, annoyed by your act. They all knew you were pretending and playing along. But Yunho didn't. He believed every word you said and clenched his jaw, tight enough for his cheek to twitch. Alexis was on the same boat as him, believing your frolicsome ruse.

Mingi clears his throat, tugging a few strands of your hair behind your ear and lets his eyes linger on you. It was driving him insane to not do anything at this moment, because somewhere along the lines, he never stopped liking you. He was ready to compromise his silly love for you, all for yours and Yunho's sake.

It takes a minute for Mingi to form his words. "Eager, aren't we?"

"Oh come on, you silly." you slap his chest, playfully, yet Mingi yelps in pain. "We've got a lot of catching up to do and let's be honest, it's not going to happen while we're still here."

"You're right about that," he chimes, looking up, "we'll see you guys later, or at the summer camp. Don't forget, you guys gave me your names for volunteering. Don't back out now, or else there'll be consequences." Mingi warns them, earning a round of groans and whines.

Mingi slips one of his hands around your waist and hides you to his car; San yells out from behind, "wear a glove when making love!"

You could clearly hear Yunho scoff amid the teasing from your friends, but you choose not to react to it. You're suppressing your queasy emotions to yourself, bottling them quite nicely as you get in Mingi's car and strap yourself in. The engine roars when Mingi revives it and pulls out of the parked space.

The ride along with Mingi isn't quiet, no, not at all. Passing by the night of crippling elation, and unsaid judgments, you stare out of the window and ponder. You stole a few glances from Mingi, who hummed an unsung melody under his breath. The chunky rings on his thumbs and fingers, tapped an obscure tune on the steering, an addition to his dilly dally singing. You both had things to say, many more feelings to state and confide, yet you were caught up amid a war of who'd be the first to go.

Mingi clears his throat, "is he still so oblivious or chooses to play dumb?"

You groan, softly in your mind thinking about Yunho and his stupidity. "I don't know, Min! He can't be so blind to all the times I've came through for him."

"So, you think he chooses to play dumb?"

"Maybe, he thinks we don't have a future," you mumble, turning to face him, "and maybe he is right. We can't even be sure of the present to talk about our future. We push and pull, and we'll continue pushing and pulling until one of us breaks and blurts out everything."

Mingi tries to figure out how he would respond to your said comments. In actuality, he had the same idea about the two of you.

He sighs, "you have to take a stand, Liyah. Let him know."

"I know."

And the night dissolves your mind in the haphazard nonchalance of nothingness.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆

Five days volunteering at the summer camp, and you were drained. It wasn't easy looking after kids, they're moody, picky eaters, and rebels. Though for some contemplative reasons, your experience with the kids wasn't as bad as it was with Yunho. In the sheer curiosity of nature, you were left alone; speaking in simpler terms, you and Yunho had a rift between each other, leading to no interactions over the span of this summer camp. You spent most of your time volunteering anyway, so it didn't matter. Not exactly when you also had Mingi's assistance to you for every little thing.

You and Mingi had bonded over the time, it would be the same with you and the others. Talking to your fellow friends, you come to learn how they were handling their lives. Jiyeon is working part time with an animal rescue NGO. San has dropped out of college and chose to be on a professional parkour team. Chris continues to be a menace in his medical school. Felix is an artist's understudy and manages his studies at the art school. And Alexis is pursuing her long-lost passion for being a fashion designer. They're all busy in their lives, headed for the future and passionate about their careers. Catching up with them would be the best moment of coming back here.

"And last summer, she wore my designed outfit!" Alexis chimes in full excitement. "You know, that's when I felt accomplished as a fashion designer."

"It's one of the most famous music artists in our country right now, I wouldn't second guess your happiness." Yunho compliments her, hugging her close to his body.

As the day had passed, all the kids were back to their homes, and as you had time to spare, Mingi suggested ending the night on a jovial note. The night dragged on to be a beautiful one with a full moon high struck in the sky, and what is better than a campfire to spend such an alluring night? You were all sitting in circles, surrounding the fiery pit of fire, the scent of burning wood nuzzling into your nose and the warmth of the fire settling into your skin. The fire crackles far too often, dissipating in the mellow undertones of your chatters. On the scattered logs, you sat next to Mingi; there were two people on each log. Chris and Felix were together, Jiyeon and San were snuggling up right next to you and Mingi, and Yunho and Alexis were sitting opposite to you two. There were other volunteers too; the eccentric teens of the town had left early, leaving your group of friends to luxuriate in the night.

Rising flames of the fire interrupted most my view, but not much. You could catch the glimpses of Yunho and Alexis being touchy and feely, some part of you absolutely despised it while the other waited around for everything to unfold. Mingi gave you solidarity, supporting your crazy notions as the time rolled around. Jiyeon and San were acting very much like a couple; it's not surprising considering they moved to the same city, rent a same apartment, and live together. It was bound to happen one way or another. Chris and Felix did not disclose their love life just yet, not that you know of.

"It was the best feeling ever," Alexis sings, adjusting herself by Yunho's side.

Yunho lets her do as she pleases; he wraps his arm around her waist to pull her close; their bodies seemed to be conjoined and it did not bode well with you.

Yunho chuckles, "of course, it was..."

Their voices die to mere whispers in your mind, you're too fixated on Mingi's feeble attempts at easing you out. He rubbed circles on the curve of your back, his warmth was more intense than compared to the fire in front of you; but seemingly you had started to burn for a completely different reason.

"You have to do something, Liyah." Mingi speaks up, "you can't let her win. Alexis only wants to parade Yunho around for her own sake. He's a trophy wife for her."

"You think I don't know that Mingi?" you bark, taking him off guard. Your aggression wasn't limited to yourself anymore, it was directed at Yunho too. "No one can love him like I do."

He pulls you in for a side hug, embracing your body with his as he leans his head on yours. Pushing you against his chest, he brings his hand to stroke through your hair.

"I know that." He mumbles, "everyone here knows that. Except for him. He's a blind dick, just be upfront with him."

You raise your head from his chest and deadpan, "geez, I never thought of that. Thanks a lot, Mingi."

"Happy to help," he replies back, catching up on your satire. "I'm being serious though. Ask him to meet you at your—oh no..."

Mingi's eyes had been trained on you, but when he takes them off, only for a second, he's met with a catastrophic happening. Brazen and curious, you nudge your neck in the direction his eyes were stuck in. And the ground under your feet opens wide, ready to swallow you.

Yunho and Alexis were kissing. Yes. They were swallowing each other's mouth, and it was a sight you couldn't bear. So, you do what any sensible woman would do, after seeing her crush kissing someone who's not her. You storm off. You run away. You're quick on your feet, untwining Mingi's arms from you and scurrying off into the wild dark. Mingi's protests aren't enough to stop, neither are the silent ones coming from others; you're scampering in your boots to get away from the campfire spot as fast as you could. Only, you hadn't realise that someone else had followed you right after.

For the first time in his years of friendship with you, Yunho was feeling utterly helpless. Disappointing you was never on his list; he didn't want to let you down either. He didn't think he'd break your heart by playing a wicked game of push and pull. He took it too far. Obviously. In the middle of the dense forest, he's in your pursuit; his feet are in synch with yours, but his pace makes him fall behind. He was listening to you sob and sniffle and to him, those were the most vulnerable sounds he had ever heard from you.

"Liyah, wait!" he yells, and you slow down.

Walking on the graveled ground, a path leading to the set of cabins situated at distance from each other, you stop and turn. You find him behind you, right behind you. Remorse evident in his eyes, and his lips quivering; you couldn't bear to see him like that. Never in your years of friendship had you seen him like that. The happy go lucky guy had a frown on his face, tears in his eyes, and guilt painted all over his skin. Of course, you'd be astonished to find him in such condition.

Moonlight breaks through the branches of the tall trees around you, the scent of mildew and moss spreading to the moisture baring air; his face shrouded with darkness, lights up when he steps into one of the moonbeams. And he's breathtaking. He always was.

"What do you want, Yunho?" you spit, spitefully.

"Can we talk?"

"I don't want to talk to you," you state and turn on your heels, ready to storm off again.

Though, before you could even take a step ahead, you're pulled back into something hard; a tight grip on your wrist burns through your skin and constraints any movement from you.

"What?" you gasp, peeking through your squinted eyes to find Yunho's staring right into yours.

You're pressed up against his chest, cheeks turning red when you realise how close you two were. There hadn't been a time where you were so close to each other. With how blatantly the proximity had dithered between you two, you couldn't think straight. Even so, you try to snatch your hand away from his grasp, wanting to be free of his hold. He doesn't let you, he doesn't even budge when you're using all your strength to get his hand off your wrist; you started clawing at his hand, but that didn't work either.

"I told you I don't want to talk to you," you state, firmly.

"But I want to." He whispers, "please, hear me out."

You press your lips together, letting your hand fall down to your side; his skin broke with your nail marks, blood clotting under, waiting to ooze out. Time stands still here, amid the inky phases of your heart; forest speaks of nothing, no sound at all, letting your hearts beating in the while. As the clouds shift against the nightly breeze, the moon hits your faces, lighting up your eyes.

"Okay," you mutter, "I'll hear you out."

He clears his throat and let's go of your hand. Taking a step back from you, he runs a hand through his hair, which falls disheveled on his forehead. Accustomed to his growing silence, you have half a mind of turning away and sprinting back to your cabin.

"What you saw with—what you saw with Alexis, it wasn't my—"

You interrupt him, "it wasn't your fault. I get it. She was the one who came onto you. You had no hand in this..." he looks less guilty hearing you, so you add, "don't bullshit me, Yunho. It always takes two—takes two. Neither of you are innocent."

As your voice breaks, the light in Yunho's eyes starts dwindling down. "Liyah, please..."

"What, Yunho?" you sniff and tears well in your eyes, "you want to justify your behaviour? You want to validate how you feel about me? What do you want?"

Being pushed past your limits, you shake your head and close your eyes shut; turning on your heels, you stride down the vague path leading to the cabins where you were staying in. You must've taken a couple of steps ahead, about to take another when your world spins around; it only stops when you're pushed up against a nearby tree. The way your back hits the trunk causes pain to strike your spine; but then you also realise how confined you were to it, with Yunho's hands holding you down by your shoulders.

"Don't piss me off, Liyah." He states, leaning in close to let his breath tickle your face. "That'd be very detrimental of you to do so."

"Am I pissing you off now, oh." you deadpan, placing your hands on his chest to shove him away. That seemed like the only viable option for you. "I'm so sorry."

"Keep your sarcasm to yourself, Liyah," he mutters, inching closer to let his lips brush against yours, "you want to know why I let Alexis play me like a violin?"

He takes your silence for a yes and continues, "because I wanted to know what your heart truly desires. Did it even want me, or was I just fantasizing a future between us which doesn't really exist?"

"You could've asked me," you mumble, your lips quivering as your stomach twists inside, "you could've asked me, and I would've been upfront with you, Yunho."

Tears spill out of your eyes, streaming down your cheeks. He couldn't watch you cry. Looking away for a second, he trains his now teary eyes on you.

"Asked?" he repeats, "Liyah, we've both been lying to each other since our senior year in high school." His hands slide down to your waist, wrapping around to maintain some distance between you and the tree trunk. "We would've never been real with each other. Let alone, even confessing to each other felt like such a task for us."

"Then what were you trying to do, Yunho?" you mumble, keeping your hands on his chest, "you kissed Alexis. And before that, you gave me hope that we could be together. Now, you're saying we should've been more straightforward with each other. You're not making sense."

"I know I'm not," he grumbles, "because nothing makes sense to me now. I thought you'd confess to me on the rooftop, I had prepared a long ass speech for you, confessing my feelings too. But then, you brought up Mingi—"

"—nothing ever happened between me and Mingi," you intervene, letting your lips form a frown, "the night of our graduation party, he did ask me out. But I turned him down. You know why? Because I liked you." Suffocating under his gaze, you take a deep breath and continue, "I didn't want to start something with him if it meant I had to break him soon. Because I was too hopeful for either of us to make a sound. I was eager to be in a relationship with you. I was impatient to tell you how badly I had fallen for you. But then, we never said anything. We only ruined it for us. How long were we going to yearn in silence?"

Yunho takes a moment to process your words, your phrases of sheer truth before he instigates, "so, you and Mingi...?"

"No, we're not together," you shake your head, groaning softly as you push your body into his; your hands slip from his chest to the either side of his waist.

"Ah really?" he rasps, resting his forehead on yours, "then I wouldn't mind making a sound. I like you too, Liyah. Oh, to hell with it, I think I love you."

You bite back on chuckle, rubbing the sides of his waist as you lean into his touch. "I think I'm falling in love with you too."

"Hmm," he hums before grunting in pure impatience, "ah, fuck it."

In a fraction of a second, his lips meet yours, capturing a daze of lust and hunger before melting into utter passion. He delicately cups your face, the palms of his hands ever so softly caressing your keeps; he tilts your head slightly, giving him the chance to deepen the kiss. You're drowning in the way his lips lay so gentle against yours. Basking his lips into yours, you whimper as frailly as you could, bringing your hands up to his shoulders for support.

The kiss only grows deeper than before, with him pushing his body into yours and keeping your chest flushed against his. Desperation is evident in the sound of his grunt, and in the way his chest rumbles; his teeth sink in your lower lip, thumbs pressing your cheekbones before pulling himself back and letting go of your lower lip. He watches your lip wobble with amusement, smirking to himself as you whine almost inaudibly.

"You know, we were chasing stars in the dark, blindfolded," he murmurs, nudging the tip of his nose with yours, not moving quite back yet. The warmth of his breath sends shivers down your spine, causing tremors to creep on your skin. "We couldn't see our feelings for each other, but at least we knew they were there."

"Yeah yeah, I get it," you huff out, pulling him by the collar of his jacket, "I've waited too long for you, now, why don't you shut up and kiss me?"

"Yes, ma'a—" you tug him down, putting your lips on his to shut him up.

Grasping onto the collar of his jacket, you push yourself into him; your toes curl in your boots upon feeling the lushness of his lips. You're far too gone to resist your desires. All the years of curbing your carnality for him had led up to this moment, where you're kissing him back as ravenously as you could. The hunger is evident in the way his lips move against yours; he bites down on your lower lip, eliciting a murmured gasp from you. The dainty vibration of your noise gets absorbed in the kiss, breaking out into a small and heated make out sesh under the starlight.

Yunho's hands slip away from your face, grazing past your collarbones and then down to your waist. He brings your hips into his, heedlessly grinding his crotch on yours. The feelings make you an airhead, too dazed to realise when his tongue had slithered past your swollen lips and into your mouth. His sloppy, wet and warm tongue plays with yours; its roughness melts when you tackle his tongue with your own, moaning. This was too much, too much all at once; his hips rolling into yours, showing you how eager he was to take you right there and then. You couldn't really believe how desperate he was, or how you could sense the hardness of his cock through his trousers.

Your mind goes blank, chest heaving into his as your body goes erratic to him shoving his tongue down your throat. He twists and turns it inside, plunging down further to touch extreme end of your palate. His tongue almost makes you gag, but neither of you pull away. Not even when your lungs were crumpling and urging you to take a breath. His fingers dig into your flesh, leaving marks through your nifty tank top. Heat starts rising up your cheeks, tipping off every inch of your body when you come to your senses; you were kissing Yunho. The Jeong Yunho whom you had been crushing over for years.

The wait was worth it.

Yunho gasps as he pushes back, taking a deep breath in through his mouth and you watch his chest rise invariably.

"I think we should take this inside," he pecks your lips, "I can't bear this any longer. I fucking need you..."

You brush his hair, letting your fingers tangle in his silky strands while you swipe your tongue on his lower lip. "Do you really?"

He grunts, sounding deep and dark; before you could do anything else to him, he grabs both of your hands by their wrists and pins them above your head. Diving back in to resume the covetous kiss, he sucks on your lips, akin to shut you up. You let him devour you, quite literally; his teeth scrape over your lower lip and you bite back a whimper. His other hand teasingly drags to the hem of your tank top; wasting a second, tracing light circles on your skin, he lets his fingers divulge under first. The cold tips of his fingers delineate strokes until his whole hand is under your top. His fingertips graze the lower part of your tit, teasing you.

He breaks the kiss through halfway again, pushing your body down from the way he held your hands.

"Are you fucking talking back to me?" he leans in to kiss you again, but doesn't really; his lips hover onto yours, so painfully close yet so far away. "Yeah, I fucking need you. I've been craving all of you for the past six years. Your lips, your heart, your soul, I want to touch it all."

"I'm not stopping you, am I?" you whisper, lurching forward to kiss him but he's quick, and tilts his head away. You pout, "you're a—"

He doesn't let you finish and kisses you, stealing your breath away. "Baby, I'm incharge. You better not open your mouth for anything other than moaning and whimpering like the sweet little girl you are."

You nod, humming.

"That's my good girl, now..." he drags his voice to a grumble; he lets go of your hands and instead, hooks his around your knees and picks you up.

"Yunho!" you gasp as you're lifted and slung on his shoulder. His other hand comes to cup your ass, while the one supporting you stays around your waist.

He doesn't respond to you and carries you away from the dark; the upside down view of yours tells you exactly where he was taking you. Catching the glimpse of your cabin, and the bright light on porch of the cabin, you anticipate what's to come. The cabin door is shoved open inside, too harshly to keep it from making any sound. As the vibrations of the thud drown out, you're thrown on the twin sized bed of your cabin.

It's dark, not pitch black, but dimly lit because of the moonlight flooding through the sole window situated above the bed. You huff in stifling annoyance, laying on the bed and supporting yourself by your elbows. Hearing bellicose shuffles from Yunho, you peek up to find him taking his jacket off. It is then thrown on the floor, leaving him in only his black trousers and a pale blue button-down shirt. Amidst the darkness, he meets your eyes, and they don't waver one bit; he crawls onto the bed, and you saunter back till you hit the wooden wall behind you.

"What, are you scared?" he prances close to you, like a predator approaching its prey. You shake your head, and he chuckles, "you can use your words, sometimes."

You purse your lips together, not wanting to utter a sound because you were sure it'd have its own consequences. Squeezing your thighs together, to try not to make it seem obvious that you were beyond aroused, feeling your slick drench your panties and your shorts. Yunho's body shudders visibly as he lets out a harmless laugh, bringing his hands to roam your body before they end up around your waist. He's trapped you against the wooden panelling behind, with his body pressed up against you instead. Moonlight hits his eyes, illuminating the sheer lust in them; pools of melted honey had suddenly succumbed to their darkness. He's perfectly slotted in between your legs, and you take merest of efforts to wrap them around his waist. With an arch of your back, your hips buck into his and your cunt is in direct contact with his raging erection.

"Okay, don't want to speak?" he whispers, tracing the tip of his nose along your cheek and gliding it further down, "fine. Don't. I'll be getting some sounds out of you, anyway."

Yunho likes how you were so desperate for him, how you were rolling your hips to get more friction; practically grinding on his cock, you tried to gauge how big he was. You always knew from the rumours that he was huge, but this was the moment where you'd be witnessing it for yourself. He bites down your lips, before pulling back and sticking his tongue out. You do the same and bring him closer to you by wrapping your hands around his neck. Expecting him to kiss you, you're left stunned when he sucks on your tongue instead. He sucks on it as if it was a piece of candy.

The sloppy sucking turns into sloppy kissing, and you groan into the kiss, intertwining your fingers in few strands of his hair falling over his neck. Yunho chortles, grinding his hips on your cunt to show how hard he was now. You can't think straight; first of all, it's starting to get dark in the cabin, second of all, Yunho's lips had been driving your insane, and third of all, his cock was rigid and feeling it through your clothes was starting to turn you off. Yunho breaks the kiss, pulling back just a little; translucent strings of spit cover both of your lips, keeping them in an illusion of being attached.

A mischievous smirk curls on his Yunho's lips, and he buries his head in the crook of your neck; leaving back bruises, he bites and sucks on your flesh. He knew your weak spot, you had shared it to him the day you had lost your virginity; it was a mistake telling him, because he was figuratively, abusing it for you. The spot lied three fingers below your earlobe, and he was nibbling on the exact spot to bring out the worst in you. It's gonna be bruised purple and blue, and Yunho's going to take the pride in it.

"Yunho!" you gasp and moan, tilting your head to a side to let him have better angle to abuse your neck. Lost in the wind of pleasure, you let your hands slide down his back, resting delicately on his shoulder blades.

"I know," his smirk widens, "did you think I wouldn't remember it?"

The clutter of his whisper melts to silence. His hands which had been on your waist for all this time, were starting to creep up. Except, he had the hem of your tank top in his hold. Pulling it up to your collarbone, he mumbles incoherent words against your neck as your tits spill out. You did not find it practical to wear a bra after your evening shower, and now that you think about it, you made a good decision not to. Yunho's cheeks turn an alluring shade of red upon catching a glimpse of your perky tits.

There had been accidental glances before, whenever you'd wear low cut tops or dresses, even your strapless tops exposed much more of your cleavage than you would intend on. Yunho respected your body, and the boundaries which were conspicuous in a friendly way; he might not be so blatant about it, but on a night or two, you were the starlight of his fantasies while he jerked off. In fact, he would've sworn off on his own words, if it weren't for your thoughts helping him 'get it on' with his ex-girlfriends. He would never disclose that to you, would he? During those moments however, whenever he'd be struck by post-nut clarity, he'd feel ashamed and guilty.

Well, not anymore.

Your body is bewitching, making him lose his senses; the movement of his hips ceases in a sudden state, wrenching out more desperation from you as you heedlessly keep bucking yourself into him. You wonder what made him stop, and your curiosity is sated almost immediately when he pushes himself back and supports himself on his knees. His sleek fingers work on the buttons of his shirt, coming undone one by one. He doesn't take off his shirt just yet only unbuttons the top half of it while leaning over to capture your lips in a head spinning kiss.

His lap on yours, devouring the sweet essence; you press on a moan, rolling yourself into him and pushing your bare chest against his. The soft material of shirt rests over your tits, tickling the pit of your stomach as you continue to push your chest into his. Yunho's chest collapses with a guttural moan, pulling himself away from the kiss. He offers you a smirk, before using his hands to pull the tank top over your head. It's off and thrown on the floor, keeping you bare on your top half for him.

"Are you sure about this?" he asks you, cheeks still red and alluring. Leaning over, he rests his forehead on yours, and lets his lips brush against yours.

You let your hands hover on his back, dipping your fingers only for their tips to lightly ghost along till you wrap them around the nape of his neck and pull him in. "Yeah, as sure as I've been about my feelings for you."

"There's no going back after this," he cups a side of your face and pecks your lips, "so, if you're having second thoughts, just tell me."

"I'm not," you mumble, breathlessly pressing your lips with his, "I want this. I know you want it too."

"Well, I've been wanting this since the day I got myself to fall for you." He smiles, bringing one of his hands to grab yours on the back of his neck. "A lot of things have happened in my mind since then, a lot of fantasies, a lot of desires..."

Before you could ask him about them, he quickly grabs your hand and pins it over your head; he does the same for your other hand, and ignoring your whines, he constraints both of your hands with his one. He's back to rolling his crotch onto yours, giving you the sensory stimulation of his erection through your clothes. The urge to rid yourself from the confines of your shorts was beyond anything, wanting to be naked for him to grind himself on you. As if that thought wasn't enough to make you wet, you were actually clenching at the friction of his cock against your cunt.

The shorts had to go. And his clothes too. You were mewling despair, having never considered yourself desperate for someone's cock as much as you're right now. His knees sunk into the mattress underneath, while your legs remain wrapped around his waist; he slides his free hand down to the waistband of your shorts, fingers fumbling to unbutton and pull them off.

"I just need to know you're okay with everything I have to do."

"Do you need a written consent now?" you groan, annoyed and irritated. "You can do whatever you want, I have no complaints."

"Be careful with what you say," he warns you, forcing his hips into yours to give you more of him. "I don't want you crying later on."

"What do you take me for?" you stick your tongue out, "I have been with many guys before you."

"Did you really have to mention that?" he grunts, pushing his hand past the waistband of your shorts; while his other hand kept yours bound above your head, he was making the best with his one free hand. "I'll teach you a lesson, make you forget about everyone in your past."

"I'll like to see you try—ah fuck, Yunho!" you gasp, fisting your hands tighter when his fingers press on your clit.

"That's right, scream my name," he growls, burying his head in the crook of neck and biting your flesh harshly.

You were going to have red and blue splotches littered all over your skin tomorrow; and that would make it everyone obvious of yours and his nightly venture. Yunho's teeth sink further while his fingers slither along your slit, rubbing you up and down through your panties, making you moan out loud.

"Yunho..."

"Huh, what is it?" he mumbles against your skin, licking the spots he had marked and bitten.

"Please..."

"I don't understand one-word answers, doll," he chuckles, the vibrations preening your skin. "Be clear and say what you want. I'll give it to you."

"Fuck—fuck you," you say out of spite, grumbling as your eyes shut close and darkness takes over. You couldn't stare at the ceiling while he abused your neck, and his fingers worked you up.

"Uh-huh," he tuts, ceasing the movements of his fingers, "what a foul mouth. Be nice or else I won't touch you at all." He brings his hands out and your eyes flutter open at the emptiness; you whine, "please, Yunho. I won't—I won't say that again."

"And I'm supposed to trust you?"

"Please..." you whine again, bucking your hips up. "I'll do whatever you want next time."

"I'm more of a provider than a receiver." His hand dives back in your shorts, his fingers rubbing you through your panties. "And I think we're wasting too much time already."

The moonlight shines through the window again, illuminating half of his face for your eyes; it hits his chin and his nose, keeping his own eyes shrouded in dark. You roll your hips into his fingers as they continue their motion, going up and down along your slit and pressing against your clit whenever they could. Squinting your eyes shut tight, you let the pleasure build and your slick grows denser in your panties; it soaks through, coating bits of his skin as he keeps rubbing you down.

"Getting wetter by the second, I see. Really fucking desperate, aren't you doll?"

He pulls himself back altogether, "keep your hands up, or else I might have to punish you."

You nod, pursing your lips together and then crossing your wrists over another to fix them above your head. In the darkness, as the moon crosses your window, you catch a glimpse of Yunho shrug out of his shirt and hold it in his hand. He keeps it to a side before grabbing your waist and pulling you down on the bed, with such ease that you felt weightless. You plop against the mattress, yelping softly as you let him do as he pleases with you.

"You know, I don't really trust you with your hands," he muses, leaning over as he brings his hand back on yours. "So, let's keep them away for the night."

Taking the sleeves of his shirt, he crosses and loops them around your wrists and then hooks them up with the short and narrow rail of the bed. The sleeves come out in front of the rail, right where the headboard and he ties a tight knot. Your hands are stretched above your head, while you're lying restrained on the bed.

"Perfect." He clicks his tongue and moves back.

Bending his knees and sinking into the mattress, he is right in between with your legs on either side of him. He supports the underside of your thighs, arching your lower back up as it gives him better control over you. Without wasting any time, he effortlessly tugs your shorts down and rids you of them. Light crumpling follows and you know your shorts are lying on the ground along with your top and his jacket. You're squirming under him, too exposed to his eyes, even though you were in your panties; tilting your head up, you peek at him and watch him wet his middle and ring finger with his spit. The sheer coat of them shines under the moonlight and you groan, already anticipating what's to come.

He smirks lightly, as he lets the pads of his fingers rub on your mound through the panties at first and then drags them painstakingly down along your slit, pressing gently against your clit along the way. With a few more strokes, your mouth falls open, moans whispering past it as he picks up his face. His spit covers your soaked panties, wetting them further and they act as your second skin; he purposely presses hard along your slit, eliciting a throaty moan before it subsides to a whine.

His fingers were off of you, leaving you with a feeling of emptiness and confusion. "Let's get you out of these, shall we?"

With one swift breath, he hook his fingers under the waistband one tour panties and tugs them all the way down; you're completely exposed to him, shuddering in your skin as his hungry eyes drink every detail of your cunt. Your panties loosely hang by his pinky finger, while an ordained smirk teases his lips and keeps them parted. He starts palming his crotch, closing his eyes and throwing his head back for the mere minute as his cock begins to harden in his briefs.

"Look at the sheen on those lips," he coos, amused and eyes now fixed on your cunt. And you knew he definitely wasn't talking about the lips on your face. "Fuck, doll. Were you that eager to be fucked by me? So wet and eager for me."

He's teasing you and it's turning too embarrassing for you; closing your eyes you turn your head and whine, "fuck you."

At the realisation, your eyes shot open and stare at him in pure fright, but also a little bit of anticipation. He did warn you before, to keep your mouth clean and shut; now that you had openly cursed at him, all left to do was to wait for the consequences be bestowed on you. Yunho's eyes turn dark, lost in the carnal desire and prolonging the silence before he sighs, a sigh which translates to nothing but terror for you.

"What did I tell you?" he grunts, asking you a question in his commanding tone. "I asked you to keep your mouth shut. If you got nothing better to say, then don't say anything at all...right?"

As your chest rises and falls, convulsing to his utter lust and hunger, you press your lips together and prevent from squeaking any sounds; but to your unbridled surprise, his other hand comes flying to grab your jaw and fingers poke into your cheeks. He's too rough and savage as he forces your mouth open and stuffs your panties in your mouth.

"Much better." He remarks, sinking back on his knees and in between your legs; he fixes his gaze on you, and nudges his head. "If you let that fall from your mouth, oh baby, I don't know what might happen to you."

"Nghhhh..." even your groan gets muffled, and your tongue stays flat against the floor of your mouth; the smooth material of panties does chafe your tongue, but it's only in the slightest.

"Good girl," he praises, delighting himself with a smile before placing his hands back under your thighs. "Now, I have a treat for myself."

Licking his lips, he slouches himself in a way to have his face lowered in between your legs; his warm breath ghosts over your mound, then slowly tickles your skin as it drifts to your slit and folds. He grips your thighs tightly, dentures forming in your flesh as he does. Spreading your legs apart and keeping them propped on his tight, he drools at the sight of your cunt stretching out itself. It wasn't much, but it was enough for his cock to strain painfully in his pants.

"You're so beautiful, Liyah." He mumbles, fluttering a soft kiss over your mound before going further down, "I'm jealous of all the men who got to see this beauty before me. Holy fuck—just the thought itself makes me want to ruin this tight little thing."

His words vibrate against your skin, making you moan and urging you to scream. Alas, you can't really voice your pleasure or your desires. The wispy sensation of his breath tells you how close he was to your cunt, lips hovering over and with only a slight tilt of his head, he'd be all buried in you. The warmth of his hands slowly starts creeping up your thighs, fingers splayed and pressing to create bruises on your skin.

"I have your consent to do what I want, right, Liyah?" he mumbles, cupping the lower part of your ass.

You groan out loud to answer him, finding it extremely torturous to have your hands tied and mouth gagged. Unspoken tremors spread under your skin when his thumbs press against your folds, pulling them apart to reveal the hidden details behind them. He hums in satisfaction at the sight of your pink flesh blooming into delicate petals. You feel the mellow stretch burning your heart, combusting you whole as your patience run low. If your hands were free, you'd be pushing his head in between your legs, wrap your thighs around his face and suffocate on your juices.

Sadly, it was only confined to your mind as Yunho was pacing his actions slowly and steadily. His thumbs press on your fleshy folds furthermore, putting you entirely on a display for him; you swollen nub tautens, needing attention, your arousal just keeps flowing out. You throw your head back into the mattress, arching your neck and holding your tears in; this was embarrassing, but in a good way. You were utterly humiliated to have your best friend slotted in between your legs, learning and identifying every detail of your cunt.

You grumble in frustration and chagrin; all your desires and fantasies erupting a sense of pleasure and wonder in your heart.

"Fucking hell, you sound so heavenly right now." He comments, smiling.

As your stretched cunt glints with an appealing shine (from your arousal), it becomes quite difficult for Yunho to control his inner animal. He dips his head in, tongue sticking out and flat to lick up your slit first. Puckering his lips, he presses a few kisses on your mound before gurgling out a good amount of spit; the coldness of his spit trickles down, perfectly along your slit. You close your eyes even tighter than before, letting a few tears escape.

"Ynnmunnho...!" you try to spell out his name with the scream but fail miserably because of the panties bunched up in your mouth.

"I know, I fucking know, doll..." he whispers, licking and lapping up your juices mixed with his spit. "I'm going to take my time devouring you."

Soon, he's going all in. Pressing the tip of his tongue in your slit, sucking on your clit and tensing all the nerves, he's partially fucking you with his tongue. If only you were able to touch him and scream his name out, it'd be perfect. One of his hands disappears from holding you apart and reappears with its warmth on your folds. His mouth is sucking and licking your cunt, while his finger protrudes at your hole. Letting another wad of spit roll down your slit, his fingers collect it by the tips before pushing inside; his fingers had always been sleek and long, quite girthy too. At first, the stretch from his fingers stings a bit but then it subsides to sheer pleasure. It bubbles in your stomach, forcing you to arch your back and fist your hands tight enough for your knuckles to go white.

"Fuck, you're tight, doll." He remarks, chuckling to himself, "bet none of your exes did a better job at fucking you loose."

His fingers plunge further inside, while his mouth is back on your clit, suckling and slurping up the spit and your arousal. Pulling back only a centimetre, he mumbles against your skin, "such a sweet thing—tastes so sweet and perfect."

You whimper at his words, giving you sensory whiplash before you breathe in hard through your nose. There was no way you could control yourself now, you couldn't even resist your gut burning with a familiar knot tying itself in your stomach. His fingers kept a steady a pace inside, only to switch it up next second; they're thrusting in deep, squealing your walls and curling inside to brush against your g-spot. The sudden caress of his fingers against your sensitive spot, makes you moan and see stars behind your closed eyes.

Grumbling incoherently, you buck your hips into his face and his fingers slip deeper, while his tongue presses further into your clit. The wetness, the roughness and warmth of his tongue were driving you crazy to begin with, and then his fingers start moving in a scissoring manner to stretch you out. This was unbearable, agonising every muscle in your body and more importantly, it was torturing your every being to not scream his name out till you're practically unconscious with a sore throat.

You did not know Yunho was this freaky in the sheets; never once did it cross your mind in the years of your friendship, that he'd be assertive and rough, delighting himself in manhandling. The thoughts in your head are cut short when he lets another clump of his spit roll down your slit, his tongue rubbing in circles and sideways to ruin you completely. It was working. His ways were working. The only downside to this, was your inability to touch him. You would've loved to scratch your nails on his back, create those red marks all over; you would've stroked his ego by chanting his name in your daze.

With that, a very dire notion pops in your mind and your eyes light up before fluttering open; you prod the gag of your panties out of your mouth with your tongue, and let it fall off onto the mattress besides you. Taking a deep breath in to sate your lungs from suffocation, you whimper ever so lightly, not loud enough to catch his attention.

Yunho is engrossed in sucking at your clit, but he's not a fool to not know what was happening above him. He smirks softly, pulling himself back, while managing the rhythm of his fingers sawing through you. Having your head thrown back, and your eyes closed, you don't notice him straightening up only a bit to watch you with amusement.

"You're such a brat, Liyah," he mutters under his breath, "guess I'll save your punishment for the next time. Now, let's get over this."

He brings his fingers out, letting you cherish the emptiness before straightening his posture completely and questions you, "Do you have a safe word?"

You shake your head, heart warming up to the concern in his voice and spell out, "ugh, no...I don't."

Yunho heaves out a sigh before legging his lips fleet with a smile, "I work on the colour system, much like traffic signals; so, red is stop, green is okay, and yellow is pause. Understood?"

You nod your head and then pout, struggling in the restraints; yeah, your hands are numb and on the verge of going limp. "Can you take this off?"

"Not a chance, doll." He smirks, "you can handle it."

Subtly glancing at his pants, he's quick in unbuttoning, unzipping and tugging them off of his legs. All your clothes were either piled or strewn on the floor, and his pants were a new addition. Yunho shifts on his knees to find a comfortable spot, while you salivate over the outline of his cock being so prominent through his abstract painted briefs. They're a mix of red, blue and black and you really didn't think you'd fixate yourself on the pattern of his briefs, but it seemed like they had some minute detail printed on it.

"Stop staring," he leans over and flicks your forehead, his own cheeks turning red along yours.

You whine, as the skin of your forehead starts stinging a bit. "You're just...really hot. It's not my fault—it's not my fault you grew up to be so hot."

"Flattery is devil's work." He rolls his eyes, but still manages to capture your lips in a short lived yet wild kiss. "Hmm, seriously, if you feel uncomfortable at any moment of this, please tell me."

Composing himself, he straightens up and hooks his fingers under the elastic band of his briefs; he snaps it first, and then hauls them off of his legs. Again, they're thrown somewhere on the floor. He's bare in front of you, his cock springing up and touching his lower belly. You were right, the rumours you thought were made up in school, are true. He was huge and thick; the veins on his shaft were bulging out, the tip was red and a little bit of precum had coated the slit.

"I told you to stop staring."

He grunts and that's all you know before being flipped over on your stomach by his arms around your waist. You're pressed up against the mattress, your face buried in the sheets, while one of his hands slithers up your back to wrap itself around your neck. Applying little to no pressure, he pushes your head further into the mattress and groans out softly.

"Fuck," your words are muffled by the mattress.

He doesn't waste any time in propping you up on your knees, letting your lower half raise in the air; your ass was juttinout, while your back arched perfectly on the mattress. Keeping his hand on your neck, he uses his other to slap your ass. It was done with a playful intention, but it was enough to leave a faint impression of his hand on your skin. He repeats for two more times before admiring the red streaks of his hand on your skin, he takes his pride in it before flushing his hips against the back of your thighs and aligning his cock with your hole.

You could hear the shuffling, you could sense his movements regardless of your vision being limited to the white of the sheets; you wanted to turn your head and glance back at him, but his grasp on your neck was making it hard to move. And it seemed like he wasn't going to let you any sooner either.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck," he chants breathlessly, closing his eyes shut and throwing his head back as he enters you; only his tip is prodding into your hole. "Liyah, please relax for me. You're too fucking—you're too fucking tight."

"Nghhhhh...!" you whimper, your spine shuddering when he tries to push himself in you from the back.

This position was your favourite, to say the least you liked the way it allowed one to hit every right spot in you. Yunho may have only gotten his tip inside, but you know the stretch from it was still ugly and unbearing. Only for the time being, however. Once you take a deep breath in and relax your muscles, it eases out your nerves and allows him to slip further in. Not long after, he's bottomed out; his thighs flush against yours, and his cock completely buried in you. He waits a beat for you to adjust to his size. Yunho is self aware, he knows how excruciating it'd be for a woman to take in his cock without any prep or care.

"Yeah, that's my good girl—just breathe—let me know when I can—when I can move," he stutters in his daze, his eyes opening to the heavenly feeling of your walls around his cock. He indulges himself in it, liking the warmth of your cunt and how tight you were.

You press your hips back into his, signalling him the known and he takes the hint before pulling him out; he doesn't pull out all the way, instead he lets the tip of his cock stay in you, promoting at your cervix before he gradually pushes himself in. His concise and slow thrusts give you the ability to adjust around him, getting used to his size in a minute or two.

"Don't forget to use the safe words, okay..." he mumbles under his breath.

As his words reverberate, he picks up his pace and thrusts faster into you; he pulls back and pushes in, lowering his thighs into yours and sticking to a healthy rhythm. His hand comes to support you by resting on your thigh from your lower back, while his other is already pressing your head into the mattress. You were drawling on your breath, suffocating and gasping for air; regardless, you weren't bothered by it, you were too immersed in the sting of your walls stretching around his cock and then relaxing every time he pulled out a little. It was driving you insane.

"Yunho, fuck...faster," you try to voice out, but the words are absorbed into the mattress.

Even if your words were inaudible to him, Yunho picks up the tempo of his hips, his fingers digging in your thigh as he holds onto it for leverage. This makes him go feral, having an untamed desire to ruin and fuck you raw. He brings his hand to the small of your back and lets it rest there, while his thrusts falter but show no signs of stopping.

"You're really—fuck—you're really fucking tight, doll." He breathes out, loosening his grip on your neck before sliding his hand up front.

Grabbing your throat now, he pulls up; your restrained hands limit your movement, and he makes the up the remaining distance by leaning his chest against your chest. Skipping a beat, he increases the speed of his thrusts, plunging his cock deep in you every time he drew out and rammed in hard. A voiceless chuckle sounds from beside you, right near your ear; his head rested delicately on the back of your shoulder, just above your shoulder blade.

Sweat beads trickle on your skin, followed by his whispery chants of your name. You're too turned on by his grunts and moans being close to your ears, salvaging the heated knot in your stomach again.

"Yunho, I'm close..." you mumble, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath.

"Just a little bit, hold it out..." he grumbles, delaying his thrusts to drag out your orgasm.

You groan at the sluggish pace, instinctively pushing yourself back into his cock. Though, when he gently yet threateningly, slaps the curve of your back, you yelp and steady yourself.

"Don't even think about it," he warns, rolling his hips into yours and picking up the pace.

"But Yunho—fuck," your whine is cut short to a moan; bringing his hand to the front, from your back, he offers your filled pussy a light slap.

His hand drops from your throat too and instead slides down to tug on your nipples and grope your tits; his fingers scuttle in your flesh, nails leaving little crescent marks behind and his lips tracing kisses along your neck. He straighten his back and wraps both of his hand around your waist, giving him the better weight to sink his cock into you. And he was delivering really harsh thrusts to your back.

"Hmm, Yunho— I can't—I can't hold it in much—much longer." you say in between your moans, and whimpers, knowing how intense the knot in your stomach had tied itself into.

Yunho hums along, "fuck it."

He flips you on your back, with much ease than before and he slows himself down to short and concise thrusts. You're laying on your back, the shackled shirt of his twisting in the process which did not bring any strain to your arms; though you could say that your arms were tired and numb from staying in one position for so long. Yunho likes the sight of you sprawled under him, helpless and desperate; he wraps your legs around his waist and continues to ram into you.

"You're so pretty—so fucking pretty squirming under me," he growls, leaning over you.

He supports his body weight by plopping his hands on either side of your face and diminishes the distance between your faces to kiss you. His lips bring the much-needed placidity to your heart while his cock is stretching you raw, thrusting into your cunt at an animalistic pace and fluttering your walls. The kiss turns hungry and he's soon devouring your face; you arch your back and let your hips roll into his.

This current position causes you to clench around him; while your own orgasm was a few thrusts away, you were also trying to milk his out. Yunho's lips trail down your jaw and then your neck, tongue going over the hickeys he had left before. The knot which had gone limp a few moments ago, comes back with much more force and intense churning of your gut. You push your chest into his, and he starts to increase his pace furthermore. He had gone feral at this point, bucking his hips into with no care whatsoever.

You're both chasing each other's highs. It takes one longing thrust from him, and you're coming undone, releasing your juices all over his cock as he keeps going at it. Yunho pulls himself back, supporting himself on his arms and offers you smug smile.

"Making a mess on my cock, huh?" he groans, your tense walls pushing him to his edge. "Fuck, I'm close too—gonna fill you up..."

It doesn't take long for him to cum either; right after you, after a few more whiling minutes of thrusting and ramming his cock into you, he too comes undone. The warmth of his cum fills you up, and it keeps trickling down your cunt as he slowly pulls out. A few drops fall on your folds and few dribble down on the mattress underneath you. You're breathless, and voiceless, your chest heaving in the air and dropping erratically to compose yourself.

Yunho falls next to you on the twin sized bed, somehow managing to fit himself in the very little space. He turns to face you, wrapping an arm around you and pulling both of your bodies closer. Now, the two of you actually fit on the bed, snuggling close to each other, reeking of sex and sweat. Your hair stuck to your forehead from the sweat, and Yunho strokes a few strands away.

"I'm...I don't know what to say." he begins, hopefully looking into your eyes.

You rest your head on his chest and wrap your arms around his torso; both are sweaty and sticky, but it's the least of your concerns now.

"Can we talk about it tomorrow?"

"Well, we really need to address this."

Yunho rubs your back up and down, letting his fingertips caress your skin gently and relax you.

"There's nothing to address, Yunho," you bite back on your tone and use a more subtle one, "this isn't a mistake. Obviously. I like you, a lot. And I'm looking for a prospect relationship here."

"I'm alright with that, but..." he trails off, sighing softly and you prop yourself on your elbows to stare at him, finding his lips trembling, "we're both pursuing our degrees in different cities. So, till we graduate we'll be in a long-distance relationship."

"And what do you think that long distance relationships don't work?" you retort, and eventually, slump yourself back on his chest. While your hands rest on his chest, your fingers draw circles and certain patterns; your sentiments become clearer and you mumble, "I was thinking of moving cities, you know."

"Liyah," he whispers, "you don't have to."

His gradual touches on your arm as you lay on his chest, are soft and warm and so his tone as he speaks up.

"We should move in together after graduation. Let's make this long-distance work; and besides..." he drags his words to a mumble again, only to lean down and kiss your forehead.

"We've been chasing stars for long; may they be in dark or the light. They made me realise I need you in my life."

#ateez fanfic #ateez #ateez smut #ateez x reader #ateez yunho #jeong yunho #jeong yunho smut #jeong yunho x reader #smut #atz #best friends to lovers

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