#i could not. care less about regulus. this was true even when i LIKED the series. i barely know who he is | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

imaginejamesandsirius · 1 year

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Can you do something like.. Muggleborn James who was raised in a abusive orphanage, comes to hogwarts and he is all jumpy and flinching whenever someone touches him and Sirius is his friend (Love interest) notices it and asks him about him and he is all nervous and something like that...? May be with Walburga and Orion as nice parents? LOL I know that wont happen but still.. And with getting together fic or pre-relationship? Thank You!! They are like 15 years old.. 💖💖

((A/N: In keeping with the prompt, there are references to child abuse, though there is no real discussion of it.))

Strictly speaking, Sirius didn't have friends.

He didn't care for his dormmates all that much. At first it was because they were weird, and then it was because they were dumb. He didn't really mean it as a judgment, but it was true. They couldn't keep up with him in any of their classes, and when he was younger, he didn't know why they didn't understand it because it was so simple, and by the time he figured out that his pre-Hogwarts education was more extensive than virtually everyone else's in his year, he'd already ostracized all of them.

It got better as the years went by. They were all stuck in the same room after all, and it was easier to feign pleasantries than hold a grudge for the remaining years of their schooling.

They were friendly, but they weren't friends.

That suited Sirius just fine, as the only company he could stand was that of his family. One of his cousins was set to graduate this year, and his little brother was finally at Hogwarts.

Sirius figured it would be a good year with two people he could talk to. Next year, there was no telling, but for fifth year, he would take having two family members and tolerable dormmates.

All of that changed when someone new transferred to Hogwarts.

James Potter, muggleborn, Gryffindor, and fifth year.

Sirius had never believed in love at first sight before, but the moment he laid eyes on that wide smile and his sparkling brown eyes, he knew he was lost.

"D'you want to sit with me?" Sirius asked. He'd already sat at the Gryffindor table, so he looked up at James as he asked it. Was there any angle James didn't look wonderful from? This position better let Sirius see the dimple in his cheek when he smiled, and Sirius's heart skipped a beat.

"Sure. Thanks."

They sat through the Sorting, and Regulus gave Sirius a wave once he was sat further down at the table after being Sorted into Gryffindor.

"You know him?" James whispered.

"My brother. Can't you see the family resemblance?" Sirius asked with a smirk, elbowing James playfully.

James flinched at the touch, and Sirius pulled his arm back to himself quickly. "Er-" James glanced down the table at Regulus again, then gave Sirius a small, awkward smile. "Guess so."

That was a strange reaction, but Sirius wasn't going to call attention to it when their friendship was so new and the Sorting was still happening.

As time went on, Sirius noticed that James always did that. Flinched at unexpected touches. Flinched at anything that was a gentled version of a hit. Slaps to the shoulder, a poke to the ribs, hell, even hugging him got that reaction if he didn't see it coming.

Sirius didn't know the cause of James's behaviour, but he did know that he didn't like it.

James was amazing. He was a drop of sunshine bound in human form. He laughed so freely and loved so much. He didn't deserve so much as a hangnail, much less whatever happened to him to make him flinch all the time.

Sirius, as the wonderful best mate (and potential boyfriend) that he was, did his best.

He made sure that James could always see him coming before he put an arm over his shoulders, he only ruffled James's hair when he was already touching him, and he'd stopped hugging him from behind entirely, even though he loved to lace his fingers across James's stomach and press his forehead against the back of his neck. Mild sacrifices had to be made for the greater good, sad but true. And James's happiness was the greater good, as far as Sirius was concerned.

James wasn't solely his first real friend, he was his best friend. Sirius could be friends with every other person in Hogwarts, and James would still be flying ahead of them all as first. They did everything together, because a moment apart was a moment wasted. They never got tired of each other, and it was a miracle, because even Regulus, as much as Sirius loved him, grated on his nerves if they were around each other for too long. That didn't happen with James. All Sirius did was crave more of his time, more of his attention, more of his laughter, more of his touch, just more.

And yes, Sirius fancied him, but that wasn't all this was. If he stopped fancying him tomorrow, he'd still want more in a way he couldn't describe in a few words.

After a few months, Sirius felt they had been friends for long enough that he could ask James straight out what was going on.

Unfortunately, when Sirius asked, "Why do you flinch when people touch you?" he didn't get a real answer.

Not unless he considered, "What? I don't," a real answer.

Which he didn't.

It was certainly not a real answer, it was a denial of it existing at all, and Sirius was sure that it did. He was obsessed with James; he was sure that he was right about its existence. But if James didn't want to talk about it, then Sirius wasn't going to push it.

"Have you got plans for Winter Hols?" Sirius asked.

"Other than staying here?" James asked with an ever-present smile as he tossed himself on Sirius's bed.

"You're staying at Hogwarts over break?"

"That's what I said." James raised a hand and traced over the constellations Sirius had charmed to the roof of his four poster. He did this near every time he laid in Sirius's bed, and it made Sirius warm to witness.

"What about your family?"

"Haven't got any," James said, a feigned casualness to his voice-- as if Sirius couldn't see through that in a second. "I was in a muggle orphanage before the Headmaster tracked me down."

"How's that possible? Did you- did you not know about magic until this term?"

"No, my parents raised me until I was eleven. Apparently they told Professor Dumbledore they were going to homeschool me, so no one thought anything of it when I didn't show for first year." He rolled his head to the side to grin at Sirius. "Imagine what we could've been getting up to if I'd been here the whole time."

"Hogwarts would no longer be standing," Sirius said with a mirrored grin.

There was a pit in his stomach at James's words, though. His parents raised him until he was eleven but then he'd been in a muggle orphanage? He was leaving important details out, and while Sirius wanted to press him until he got answers-- until he knew every single thing that was possible to know about James-- he knew that he didn't want to talk about it. James had changed the subject to happier topics-- their friendship-- so he would let it go.

For now.

He was not, however, going to let James spend the Winter Hols alone in Hogwarts when Sirius had a home more than big enough to host him, and plenty of events that could entertain the both of them. Although he would like to think that James would be more than happy with just Sirius for entertainment, there were parties and such Sirius had to attend, and they would be so much more fun with James at his side. And with James out of the magical world for however long, maybe he would find it fun to attend the Black's Winter Ball.

Sirius wasted no time in writing a letter to his parents and sending it off-- asking for a prompt answer, of course. Usually he let them answer his letters in their own time, but he needed to lock James in for break as soon as he could.

Luckily, over breakfast the next morning, the family owl dropped him a response. Sirius tore the letter open and offered Starry-- this is what came from letting a five year old Regulus choose the name-- a piece of bacon absently. Starry took the food, gave Sirius's fingers an affectionate nip, then took off.

"What's that?" James asked, accustomed to Sirius sharing every little detail of the day with him.

Sirius's eyes scanned the letter quickly. He picked up the words 'of course' and 'always welcome', and he grinned victoriously. He looked over at James. "Care to spend Winter Hols with me?"

"What?" He looked blind-sided by the offer, as if it had never occurred to him that Sirius might go this route. It was quite strange, considering there were times when Sirius could swear James had read his mind.

"I asked my parents and they said it was fine. So?"

James hesitated.

Sirius needed to act fast, or James would come up with a suitable excuse and he would feel like a pillock for forcing him to agree-- even though he did truly believe James would enjoy his break more with Sirius than in Hogwarts. "I'm only asking to be nice. You're coming with me whether you like it or not. No way am I standing through another family ball while Mrs. Huntington tells me how well I'm growing up." Sirius was adept at avoiding her, but she creeped him out and standing by Regulus (now that he was old enough to attend) wasn't a good deterrent for her. "You can't possibly leave me alone with all those people. I see them every year."

"I- I don't have anything to wear to a ball."

"You can wear something of mine," Sirius said with a shrug. He stole James's cup of pumpkin juice and took a drink before returning it. "We're pretty much the same size, so it'll only take a few alterations to make it presentable on you. Any other ways you want to try and get out of this?" Sirius asked with a smirk.

James sighed as if he was put upon, but there was a hint of a smile playing at his mouth. "Fine. I suppose spending Winter Hols with you won't be all bad. I'll get to see your house. You've talked about it so much I feel as though I know the layout already."

Sirius had only talked about it so much to try and get James interested in visiting. "Good, then you'll be right at home."

When James met Sirius's parents, they embraced him as if they'd known him for years-- as if Sirius had been bringing him to visit every year that he'd been gone at Hogwarts.

Sirius didn't see it coming in time to stop it from happening, but he did see the usual twitch to James's shoulders at the unexpected touch. He also saw the way his parents noticed James's reaction. His father met his eyes over James's head, and understanding passed between them. Sirius gave a small shake of his head; he didn't know why, only that it was.

"Nice to finally meet you, James," Mum said as they pulled back. "Sirius talks about you so much, it's nice to put a face to the name."

"Mum," Sirius groaned as heat rose in his cheeks.

"Oh hush up, you finally have a friend I can tease you about. It's well within my motherly right to take advantage of such an opportunity."

That did not help his blush lessen.

"Leave off the poor boy, Walburga. Regulus, how was your first term at Hogwarts?"

"It was amazing," Regulus said, and then he was off, filling in their parents on every little thing he enjoyed (and didn't) about school.

"Sorry about them," Sirius muttered.

"Don't be, I think it's sweet," James said, a soft smile on his face.

"Sweet? How so?"

"I dunno," James said, shrugging one shoulder. "I guess I like that you like me as much as I like you, y'know? Sometimes it feels like you put up with me."

"Put up with you?" Sirius repeated incredulously. Since James was already looking at him, he lifted an arm and put it around James's shoulders, pulling him a little closer as they walked behind the rest of his family. "Mate, I put up with the rest of the blokes in our year. I haven't had any problem ignoring them for the last four years. You are my best friend, and it would do you well to remember it."

"I suppose I can do that," James said, ducking his head shyly.

Sirius wanted to coo over how buggering cute he was, but he managed to restrain himself. Barely.

Sirius showed off a bit when they got home, wanting for James to be impressed by him. Normally, all he had to do was be himself and James was impressed, but now that they were away from Hogwarts, he felt like he had something to prove.

He showed him the family tree and the portraits that lined the hallways, the heavy dining room table, and the most comfortable couch in the world that sat in front of their fireplace.

It was only after Sirius dragged James to his room and asked if he thought the bed would be big enough, that he noticed how awestruck James looked by everything. Sirius stopped speaking abruptly as colour filled James's cheeks when he glanced at Sirius's bed.

"You alright?" Sirius asked.

"We're going to share?"

"We don't have to," Sirius said slowly, trying to puzzle out why James was blushing. "Another can be brought in. Or," he added, not wanting to suggest it but knowing that he should, "you can sleep in a guest room. I just thought- you know, that it wouldn't be a big deal if we shared. We've done it before at Hogwarts, and those beds are a lot smaller."

"Smaller, yeah, but that was different."

"How?" Sirius asked. He hadn't felt this confused by James since the first week of term when they barely knew each other.

James shifted his weight awkwardly. Awkwardness didn't suit him. It sat wrong on his shoulders, like it had been placed there by accident. "Er, I dunno. It was just- different."

"Okay," Sirius said, drawing out the word for several seconds as he tried to parse out what was going on in James's head.

All at once the answer came to him, and his shoulders slumped.

James must've realised that Sirius fancied him, and he thought it was too awkward to bring up! He must've figured it out recently, since there's no way he would've agreed to spend the entire break with Sirius if he'd known the whole time.

"Look, I didn't know you'd be this bent out of shape over how I felt, but it's not a problem, yeah? We have like, twenty guest rooms in this place. It won't be a problem to clean one up for you."

James blinked at him. It looked like he'd gotten caught up in something Sirius had said at the very beginning, which didn't make sense.

It didn't make sense until, that is, James said, "How you feel?"

"Well, yeah. Isn't that why you thought it would be weird for us to both stay in my bed?" Sirius didn't know what to do with the way this conversation was going. He'd been sure that he figured out why James was being weird, only now it looked like maybe that wasn't the case. If he was wrong, then what had been the reason? And, almost as importantly, how was it only the first day of break and he'd already managed to bugger this up?

This was the real reason he didn't have friends; he couldn't maintain a relationship with anyone he wasn't related to.

"I- what feelings?"

"I fancy you?" Sirius ventured, less sure of himself than ever.

James's eyes went wide behind his glasses. "You do?"

"Something tells me you didn't already know, like I thought you did," Sirius said. His heart fell, but he refused to be embarrassed about it. Clearly, James wasn't going to run away screaming, so he was fine.

"Why did you think I knew?"

"Because you didn't want us to stay in the same room! It made sense ten seconds ago. Alright fine, that wasn't it," Sirius said, waving his hand through the air dismissively like he could physically remove that from the conversation. "What was bothering you, then?"

"I wouldn't say bother," James hedged, but it was weak. He sighed a second later and crossed his arms over his chest. "I didn't say we should have separate rooms because you fancy me, I was saying it because I fancy you."

Sirius laughed, loud and bright. "That's hilarious. We're not too good at this feeling business."

He didn't respond for a second, and Sirius worried that maybe it was funnier to him than it was to James and he'd just cocked this up. But that second passed, and he was laughing along. "Maybe in the future we should leave each other notes when we need to talk."

“Sounds good to me.”

#prongsfoot #fanfic #marauders #james potter #sirius black #hogwarts time #getting together #no voldemort au #muggleborn james #siriuslystarbucks

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soup-of-the-daisies · 8 days

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You talked about rambles so uhm.. have this essay i guess?? sklfjd this got wayy longer than i thought it would:

Sirius and Regulus and especially the was Sirius talks about Regulus is SOOOO interesting to me? probably because i'm also an eldest child

"my idiot brother who was soft enough to believe [our parents]" is just so.. bitter? resentful? hurt? to me? I firmly believe Sirius used to believe W&O too, but then got to Hogwarts and was in for a Rude Awakening and slowly changed. It can't have been easy, even if he had prior doubts, to learn to disregard and actively denounce everything his parents ever told him.

They were harsh and strict and expected so much from him. Put him in all these little boxes and made him jump through hoops because he had to be the perfect little heir to the Black name (basically royalty) but they were his parents and parents love their children. They care. He was eleven when he started to not only doubt his parents ideals, but also their love for him because with every "no" and "that's not true" and "muggleborn, not mudblood" they (especially Walburga) get harsher and harsher.

Maybe he even went to Regulus with it in his letters in the year Regulus wasn't at Hogwarts yet? "Potter said [something going directly against what their parents told them] and was completely serious about it! Can you believe it?" "Do you think father was right when he said ... because Potter said ..." "James told me mother was wrong about ..." And he tried to explain his own wavering belief in their parents and Regulus, who was still firmly under their thumb, refused to listen.

Maybe Regulus talked to their parents about these letters and he got an furious letter from Walburga. Or he got the cold shoulder when he got home from his first year not knowing why until they brought it up icily during dinner?

I believe that Sirius saw Regulus believing their parents over him as a personal betrayal. "soft enough to believe them" aka he loved/respected/trusted them more than he did me or he would have listened to me

honestly i don't know if any of this made sense but it's certainly rambling

Yes. Yes, this is good. VERY good.

In my perspective, Sirius calling Regulus ‘soft’ and an ‘idiot’ is, apart from hurt for a little brother who ‘betrayed’ him/his trust, also something that he’s parroting. Like that his parents used to say it, you know? Sirius is intelligent, headstrong, magically powerful, and a leader at his core: ideal for the future head of the family. I’d say his rebellious tendencies and sharp retorts were initially encouraged (amusing, cute, and impressive; he was an outgoing and sharp child, and people who don’t like children like that), until it backfired on them.

Regulus, while being clever himself, I’ve always seen as significantly less outgoing. He’s not mentioned until OotP, though he could’ve been mentioned (at least in passing) during both PoA and GoF. I don’t see him as having been very… outstanding, I suppose. Probably quiet at home too, and agreeable. Not something you’d want in an heir, ideally. Calling him a soft idiot could easily be a way for O&W to force him out of his shell, be more Sirius-esque without the need for rebellion.

But then he joins the Death Eaters, and his parents (though perhaps unhappy that he’s such a follower) are at least proud that he agrees with their ideas, and Sirius just thinks—they were right. Apart from the cold shoulder or the tattling after Sirius started Hogwarts, he’s radicalised now as well, listened to their parents’ ridiculous bigotry and agreed with it to the point of becoming a follower of Voldemort. Voldemort, who obviously doesn’t care about people’s lives, least of all about the ideas he’s spouting (how many purebloods got killed by DE’s, in comparison to muggles and muggleborn? How is that superiority?). It’s a confirmation: Regulus is soft and can’t think for himself, Regulus is an idiot who decided to side with a extremist maniac instead of genuinely considering the facts.

I do think Sirius cared for his parents, a little bit. He flees to his mother’s room when he’s upset, and he doesn’t take the opportunity to slander his father for his paranoia in protecting Grimmauld with spells. I think he cared for Regulus more though: soft, idiotic Regulus, who was too quiet to think to disagree, too stupid to think further than the ideas he surrounded himself with, too scared to consider his brother’s rebuttals to the bigotry.

It’s hurt, yes. Because it could’ve been better. Because Regulus could have lived.

#sirius black #regulus black #black brothers #mwpp #ask #anon #the hp rambles

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leogichidaa · 2 years

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The Great Pretenders: Remus and Regulus

To note at the outset: this post is going to rely heavily on my personal characterization of Regulus, which I feel is supported by canon, but is also largely speculative.

Alright, so this has been bouncing around in my head since I got the ask about Regulus’ opinion of Remus. As I said in my response, they share some defining features in common: a desperate need to be liked and a core belief that they are unlikeable. It’s an unpleasant mix and it leads to them being good at putting on a show--and pushing people away.

Remus feels the need to project a certain image because of his lycanthropy. Some of this is strictly practical: if people were to find out about his condition, he could lose his position in school, his livelihood, his friendships, etc. Some of it is more deep seated.

Remus’ condition is a punishment. His father is said to regret the derisive comments he made about werewolves and he just "parroted what was the common view". It's clear we're meant to think of Lyall as someone who paid for his bigotry and totally learned his lesson, but I think that bigotry lingered in a more covert form and had an impact on Remus beyond the bite (one clear example being that he is not allowed to have friends growing up in case he tells someone he's a werewolf). In many ways, Remus is molded into the anti-Greyback. Whereas Greyback becomes the monster that society is determined to make him out to be, Remus is turned into the “good werewolf”. He is passive and well educated and treats his condition like a burden he must constantly apologize and compensate for. He is just happy to be included.

As a result of his condition and the societal condemnation thereof, Remus despises himself to a maddening degree. He is so convinced that he is not worthy of anyone’s love or approval that he carelessly tosses away the love and approval he is given. He is so certain that no one would care for him if they knew his true self that he hides under a carefully constructed mask and refuses to let people peek beneath the surface. He’s a fake ass hoe. He twists the truth, lies, and withholds information to craft a narrative that both works in his favor and successfully holds people at arms-length. Wait, am I describing Remus or Regulus here? Yes. Both.

Regulus has a less obvious and tangible reason for his protective tendencies, but he comes from a family where image is everything and when his older brother starts bucking tradition he fills the role of traditionalist to protect the family's homeostasis. I think about that painstakingly carved Black family crest in his room often: that is a carefully constructed mask that he created for himself if I ever saw one. He hides within the role that his family expects him to play so that he does not ever have to be himself.

Both Remus and Regulus end up fighting in the war, which is interesting because both are portrayed as passive (although capable of aggression when motivated by threats to the things they hold dear). If you were just handed character sketches of these two chuckle fucks without context, you would not likely think, “ah yes, I can see them signing up to fight guerilla warfare”. But because of their need to project a certain image, to follow certain people, to protect certain ideals that in turn protect them, they end up joining the fight.

And it's not just an external presentation either. We see examples in PoA and DH where Remus is lying to himself as much as he lies to other people. He is protecting his self-image even as he strives to control the way others perceive him. I see Regulus’ presentation, too, as in part for the benefit of his family, but also a way to protect himself from having to look in the mirror and say: “who am I?” and “is this who I want to be?” Neither Remus nor Regulus can afford to be anything other than what they pretend to be, either outwardly or within their delicate ego.

The tragic thing about this (and I touched on this before when talking about the “sickening look of faux pity” line) is that if you are always putting on a show and no one, not even you really, knows the real you, then nothing can counteract that maddening self-loathing. Everyone and their grandmother can say “I love you, I appreciate you as a person” and shower you in praise and it wouldn't matter because they’re praising a fake version of you. They love your mask. Which is, on one level, the whole point of having a mask in the first place. But internally, it serves to reinforce the idea that the real you is unlovable and that no one will ever treasure your true self the way they treasure the fake you.

We see how this plays out for Remus with Tonks. It doesn’t matter how many declarations of love she gives and how much she insists that she cares for him despite the realities of his situation, he does not believe her. He insists to Harry that Tonks, and Harry, and everyone, just don't understand what being married to him really means because they don’t actually know him and his reality. And it’s easy to read that as Remus being completely wrong and blinded by pessimistic self-hatred, but on some level he is right. They don’t understand because he won’t let anyone understand because he’s terrified that if they do understand then they will hate him, so he might as well just leave now before it gets to that. He can’t bear to give anyone a chance to really see him and accept him for who he is.

I see a romantic dynamic with Regulus playing out much the same way. He would be too afraid to talk about the real stuff, he would keep too much of himself locked away and hold his partner at arm’s length. He would run when things got hard because he would assume that his partner doesn’t really love him anyway, so they probably wouldn’t even miss him. He would convince himself that they're better off without him and find an excuse to jump ship.

This is getting long, but I also wanted to touch on how I imagine this plays into my hc that Regulus figured out that Remus was a werewolf at some point during their time together at Hogwarts. I imagine that it would be relatively easy to sleuth out for someone who is paying attention (the moon phases make it a bit obvious and it’s not like Remus and co are super discreet). But if Regulus did find out, why would he not tell everyone? Wouldn’t he be thrilled to bring down one of Sirius’ friends?

I’ve thought about this and the conclusion I came to is that, even if Regulus does not like or respect Remus, even if he sees Remus as a filthy half-breed half-blood who stole his brother, he understands Remus on some level. He knows the importance of keeping a secret (in contrast to Sirius). I imagine he kept the werewolf thing in his pocket, rationalizing that he’d use it if he ever felt sufficiently provoked, but he never did because deep down he saw a bit of himself in Remus. (This is especially true in my Every Other Freckle AU, in which Regulus himself is carefully guarding a secret love affair, so outing Remus would hit too close to home for him). It's either that or Sirius has something on Regulus and there’s an unspoken mutually assured destruction thing going on, but I'm partial to the first theory.

#make up something to believe in your heart of hearts #so you have something to wear on your sleeve of sleeves #Remus Lupin #Regulus Black #the great pretenders

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mrsfrecklesmarauders · 11 months

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TW: Physical and Verbal Abuse, Alcohol.

Sirius had never felt such humiliation. Sirius' parents weren't the best. Sirius was used to the yelling, the horrible stares, the silence treatment, even the violence. But Sirius wasn't used for them to be violent in front of other people. Perhaps in front of Regulus, maybe Kreacher, or one of his cousins. But never in front of his friends. His whole classmates, actually.

It had only been a silly mistake. Sirius and his friends had sneaked out of the castle to go to a party. It ended up wrong. Not only were they caught. But there happened to be a reporter from an important magazine and the next day, there were articles everywhere about how the Heir of the Black Empire was an aggressive rebel.

Sirius hadn't seen Orion so furious. When Sirius saw his father walking down the hall, he didn't have time to say hi when Orion punched him so hard, he dropped to the floor. The students around gasped.

"Are you trying to drive me crazy, Sirius?" Orion yelled "Do you find it amusing and funny to stain the Family name like that? Ha? ANSWER ME, YOU PUSSY"

Sirius was in shock. All he did was touch his bleeding nose, trying to figure out what to do next. Sirius felt the pain that the punch had caused him. But it wasn't compared to the pain of being humiliated. Everyone was staring at him. The Marauders, the girls, even the Slytherins. He could see Mulciber and Snape smirking. Sirius felt so small and vulnerable.

Do something! A small voice said inside his mind. Hit him back. Show him you are not weak.

But Sirius couldn't move. He was scared to burst out crying if he did so.

"I am talking to you, Sirius!" Orion continued.

Sirius felt hot tears in the back of his eyes "Answer me, you twat!"

"Hey... Mr. Black?" It was James who spoke. And Sirius realized his best friend had witnessed it and he felt more ashamed. "There is not need to treat him like that! He is your son..."

James didn't sound as confident as he always was. Orion Black was intimidating. A power not everyone confronted.

And James was not used to this kind of relationship. When Fleamont found out about the incident, he scolded James, but seconds later he was making jokes to him. Like nothing has happened.

"Do not meddle into this, Potter!" Orion answered with eyes so full or rage, that James took a few steps back "This is between my son and me"

Then his eyes full of venom turned towards Sirius.

"Come on, Sirius. Get up! What are you, a girl? Fucking pussy... Get up! Face me like a man!"

Sirius was blind with rage. He wanted to make Orion Black suffer.

Sirius raised to his feet. He felt the arms of Orion helping him. So Sirius pushed him away.

"Get off me!"

Orion chuckled.

"Can we talk about this somewhere else?"

Sirius was aware of the stares.

"Are you embarrassed with your classmates?" Orion mocked "Take responsability for your own actions, Sirius. I will speak with Dumbledore about your punishment"

Orion continued to speak about how Sirius was a disappointment, how Sirius was an immature kid that only craved for attention, and how much suffering he was causing his mother. It wasn't true. Walburga couldn't care less about him. Sirius wished he wasn't shaking. Sirius wished he could do something else. Defend himself. Something! He was so pathetic.

"Perhaps I am considering transferring you to a military school. My father was right"

"What? No!" Sirius became desperate. He couldn't leave Hogwarts, his friends, his home... Grandpa Artucus was insane. He always talked about Dumstrang. A military school in the middle of Russia. Full of discipline. They would shave his hair!

"Please no! I promise I won't do it again!"

Orion smirked. Sirius felt pathetic.

"We will discuss it later"

Orion gave a nasty look to the curious students watching the scene.

"Don't you have to be in class?" he shouted "Come on!"

He took one nasty look at Sirius before turning and walking away.

Sirius felt all eyes on him now. He didn't dare to look at them. He felt so humiliated.

"Sirius..." James put a hand on his shoulder. But Sirius pushed away.

"Don't touch me!!" he yelled pushing his friend away "I want to be fucking alone!"

Sirius ran away from there as fast as he could. He locked himself up on his dorm.

After crying like an idiot, he decided to do something about it. He had been so pathetic!

Sirius decided to drink the rest of one of the vodka bottles from the previous party.

The alcohol on his system gave him the encouragement to face his father. He wanted to prove to him and everyone else he was not a pussy. He was not a coward. He was fucking Sirius Black and no one messed up with him.

Sirius climbed down from the Gryffindor Tower hoping his father was still around. Hoping he hadn't left. Luckily for Sirius, Orion was by the Great Hall, chatting with Professor Slughorn.

Sirius smirked thirsty for revenge. Seeing blood on his father's nose would be glorious for him.

"There you are!" Sirius yelled, walking towards him. He was a bit dizzy and felt his cheeks burning but he was fine "I was looking for you, father"

Orion looked at Sirius with disgust. And he sighed, as if he was tired of Sirius' shows.

"Mr. Black!" Slughorn exclaimed "Aren't you supposed to be in class?"

"Shut up, Slughorn!" He wouldn't have dare to say that if he wasn't slightly drunk "I am not talking to you. I am to talking to him"

Sirius pointed at his father.

Slughorn blinked in surprised. But Orion expression didn't change.

"Mr. Black..."

"It's okay, Slughorn" Orion stopped him "Could you leave us alone?"

Slughorn nodded and left, not without giving Sirius a curious look.

When they were finally alone, Orion crossed his arms and sighed.

"You keep breaking the rules and you expect not to be punished?"

Sirius' heart started to race. This was it. He could punch Orion in the fucking face.

"Come on, son"

Sirius ignored his nervousness and his hand shaking. He took a swing right to Orion's face but he easily moved away. Sirius lost balanced and almost tripped.

Orion looked surprised and furious.

"What do you think you are doing?"

"I'm just fucking tired of you humiliating me all the time!" Sirius shouted

"Sirius..." Orion tutted as if he was treating with a little kid.

Sirius became aggressive.

"Do you want to hit me?" Sirius said, pushing his father "OK! Come and hit me! Hit me!"

"Sirius!" Orion yelled trying to stop Sirius.

"Let's settle this like men!"

"Can you calm down?"

"If you are so strong then, come and hit me again! Fucking hit me!!"

Sirius tried to punch Orion again but he grabbed his arms to stop him this time.

"Stop it, Sirius! Calm down!!"

Sirius wasn't stopping. He wanted to get into a fight. He wanted to win. He wanted to show him.

But Orion was stronger. He had always been stronger. He wrapped his arms around his son to calm him down. But Sirius kept moving and moving.

"Hit me! Hit me again like you always do!!"

"Sirius!"

"What's going on here?"

The imponent voice of Albus Dumbledore himself, interrupted them. Sirius felt Dumbledore's arms pulling him away from his father. Even though Sirius kept moving like a maniac.

Dumbledore put Sirius behind him protectively and he pushed Orion away.

"Stay away from him!"

"Don't touch me!" Orion snapped furiously pushing Dumbledore's hand away. "Don't put your nasty hands on me!"

"What are you doing?"

"Don't meddle into this Dumbledore!" Orion was yelling furiously "Sirius is my son! And I need to fix things with him"

It sounded as if fix things was bit the shit out of him or something.

"I am the Headmaster and I am ordering you to get out!"

No one had ordered anything to Orion Black. So obviously he was offended.

"He is my son..."

"Get out, Orion!" Dumbledore continued "I will fix things with him...." he pointed at Sirius "But right now. I need you to go"

Sirius was shaking. He didn't know if it was fear, rage, or just the adrenaline he was experiencing.

If looks could kill, Dumbledore would've been long dead under Orion's eyes.

"Fine! I will go" he said. And Sirius was relieved "But we will continue this conversation at home, Sirius" he spoke to his son "Do you understand? There are going to be consequences"

Dumbledore was grabbing Sirius' shirt. And Sirius was kind of thankful. His legs were getting weak.

Orion's stare scared him. This wasn't over. There will be consequences of what he had done. Bad ones.

Orion gave Dumbledore a nasty look before storming out of there.

Sirius didn't know he was holding air until he let it out one his father was gone.

"What the fuck is into you, Sirius?" Dumbledore scolded him "Why would you do something like that?"

"I'm so tired of his humiliations! He is a dick!"

Dumbledore frowned.

"Have you been drinking, Sirius?"

He asked as calmy as posible. Sirius had to recognize he sounded slightly intoxicated.

"No" Sirius answered. But it sounded like a lie.

Dumbledore sighed.

"I am sorry, Professor" Sirius cried, ashamed of disappointing him "I know I deserve to be punished"

"Why?" Dumbledore asked "Why did you?"

Sirius didn't know how to answer.

"I promise I won't ask where did you get the booze from and I won't punish you..." Dumbledore said "I just need to know"

Sirius shrugged ashamed.

"Did you think alcohol would give you the courage to face him?"

He did actually. Sirius was a coward. He acted all rebel and cool but he actually couldn't face Orion. Or the rest of his family. He was scared.

"He won't listen to me" Sirius sighed "He is constantly putting me down. I am so tired"

"There are other ways to face your father, Sirius"

"Like what?"

Dumbledore swallowed.

"With words..." he said "With actions... By being yourself. And showing him you are better than him... Than all of them!"

Sirius looked down.

"Sirius, I know you are better than them...." Dumbledore continued "Responding with the same violence he gives to you, it is not an answer"

Sirius nodded. Dumbledore was right.

Dumbledore gave him a soft smile.

"Now.... Go to the Kitchens and drink some coffee..." Dumbledore said "I want you sober for the next period"

"Aren't you gonna give me detention or something?"

Dumbledore sighed "I think you learned your lesson" then he added "Don't drink again... I mean it is normal to have a few drinks in a party... But not like this. You don't want to depend on alcohol, do you?"

"I am not an alcoholic"

"I well know so" Dumbledore smiled "You're a good kid"

Sirius smiled back.

"Thank you, Professor" Sirius said "Really, thank you"

"You're welcome" Dumbledore winked

Sirius would never forget his professor's words in the days to come. Sirius wanted to be better than Orion. Than any member of his family. He knew he could. He knew he could face them. He might be a Black but he was Sirius. And that was more important.

#marauders #maraudersera #muggleau #microfic #sirius black #orion black #albus dumbledore #james potter #remus lupin #peter pettigrew

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hufflepuffwithaslytherinkink · 2 years

Text

The Warning - Chapter 22 Snippet

Eva was distracted counting how many times the student across the room bobbed against the ceiling, wondering how on Earth they were manging to sleep through it. Perhaps Madam Pomfrey had given them a sleeping draught she pondered.

Eva wished she could have one right now, but apparently, she’d had too many and the risk of addiction was too great. She sighed in annoyance continuing to watch the student.

She felt as though she was starting to drift off when she heard the large doors to the hospital wing opening. How strange, she thought. No one was allowed in here after curfew, either someone was sneaking in, or someone was extremely unwell.

Eva shifts in her bed trying to nose as who’s coming in through the door, but unless she sits up completely straight there’s no way for her to see properly.

That doesn’t stop her trying though, she strains her neck glancing a figure shutting the door. The person turns and starts to make their way up the hospital wing, she can tell they’re trying to muffle the sound of their steps. Eva quickly drops her head back onto her pillow, shutting her eyes in the hopes they didn’t catch her watching them.

The footsteps get closer and closer, and Eva has to fight the urge to open her eyes and have a peek at who it is when they stop. The room is filled with silence as a deep, silky voice says. “I saw you trying to look. I know you’re awake.”

Eva’s eyes fly open in shock. She stares wide eyed at the figure of Regulus Black at the end of her bed. He’s still in his uniform, except his usually neat shirt is untucked from his black pants and his green and silver tie hangs loosely like he’s been pulling at it. He stares at her nervously. Eva feels her eyes start to prick with gathering tears. What was he even doing here?

Regulus clears his voice slightly. “I need to talk to you. Do you mind if I sit down?” He asks.

Eva doesn’t respond, she just stares at him in shock. He shifts awkwardly on his feet. Eva should really tell him to leave her alone, but she feels sorry for him right now. He looks like a scared little boy and all she wants to do is help him. Why did she have to care about people she wished she could forget? She gives him a stiff nod and he gracefully makes his way around the bed, seating himself in the chair next to her.

They sit in silence for a moment, Regulus playing with the rings on his fingers uneasily before he starts to speak. “I know you won’t believe me, and you probably don’t care but… what you said the other day it’s not true. I don’t think you’re not good enough for me, Eva I think you’re too good for me.”

Eva stares at him coldly. “If that is true, why did you say what you did?”

Regulus sighs. “Because you never would have let me end things if you knew the reason why.”

“Why did you end things? I thought you liked me.” She has to fight to keep her voice steady.

“Because I’m not good Eva and you’re too good. You deserve someone amazing, someone a lot better than me.” His voice is desperate, as he leans towards her his eyes wide and begging. Eva isn’t sure what he’s beginning her for, is it for forgiveness? Understanding? Did he want her to take him back?

Eva sets her jaw. “You had no right to decide that for me. You certainly have no right to make me think I wasn’t good enough for you. Do you know how much you hurt me Regulus?” Her voice breaks on his name. Causing Regulus to flinch at the sound, pain and guilt engulfing his features.

“I didn’t mean to. I never thought you’d assume you weren’t good enough. How could you ever think that? I adore you.” He whispers.

“You’re right.” Eva says, he looks up at her hopefully. “I don’t believe you.”

Regulus nods sadly. “I didn’t think you would. I um, I finished your potion by the way, Slughorn turned a blind eye considering everything but it’s good, it works. It’s at least exceeds expectations.” He tells her.

Eva nods. “Penny told me. Thank you, you didn’t have to do that.” Her voice is blunt but there’s less of an edge to it.

“I wanted to. You shouldn’t have to fail because… well you know.” He clears his throat. “I er, I sneaked a little. I thought, well if you don’t mind listening to me, I could take it and you could ask me whatever you wanted to. I would tell you the truth without it, but this way you know for certain it is the truth. I’ve got to warn you though, some of the stuff I might say you might not want to know, it’s dark and dangerous and it scares me.” Eva watches him with fear in her eyes, what did he mean? Why was he doing this? “It’s up to you Eva, I can walk out of this hospital wing right now and we’ll forget about it all. Or I can take this, and you can ask me anything you want.”

Eva stares at him for a moment. “How do I know that’s real?” She asks.

“You can have a couple of drops if you want. I swear I won’t ask you anything I don’t already know.” He offers sincerely.

Eva eyes him and the phial with suspicion before holding out her hand, Regulus places the phial of Veritaserum in her palm. She unstoppers it before lifting it above her mouth, she lets a couple of drops fall onto her tongue. She nods at Regulus indicating for him to ask her something. He takes a deep breath before taking a healthy swig himself. She gapes at how much he swallows.

Regulus stares at her. “What’s your name?”

“Eva Marie Hughes.”

“What Hogwarts house are you in?”

“Hufflepuff.”

“What career are you considering when you leave Hogwarts?”

“A curse breaker.” Eva answers them all immediately without thinking. She blushes slightly, even though Regulus did only ask her question people already knew the answers to she felt vulnerable. He could ask her anything at all and she’d have to answer honestly. Regulus nods at her with a determined expression. She thinks for a moment.

“What’s your name?” She asks cautiously.

“Regulus Arcturus Black.” He answers without pause.

“Why did you take me to Slughorn’s party?”

“Because I like you.”

“Why did you ask me to write to you over Christmas break?”

“Because I like you and I knew I would miss you. I wanted to hear from you as much as I could.” He answers, he keeps his face turned to hers, maintaining eye contact the entire time.

Eva nods. “Why did you stop writing to me?”

“Because you deserve better than me.” He answers, his face emotionless. What sort of answer was that Eva thinks?

“Not good enough. Why did you stop writing to me? Why didn’t you at least say you were breaking things off with me? Why did you let me worry?” She almost snarls at him.

Regulus bites his lips before answering. “At first my mother found our letters. She wasn’t too bothered, my father practically cheered me for getting casual intimacies out of my system before my marriage.” He pulls a disgusted face. “Until he heard you were half-blood. Father said he was disappointed, but it was just a quick fling, my mother on the other hand lost it. I haven’t seen her that angry for a while. She punished me for it. She didn’t want me tainting out pure family.” Eva watches him with wide eyes, she didn’t realise how bad it was for him at home. “Then they pulled forward my initiation. He was going to do it before my birthday anyway, he wants me in his ranks apparently due to being smart and determined. My parents encouraged it to bring our family back into pure-blood societies good graces after Sirius left. I didn’t want it. I don’t want it. but I had no choice, it was accept it or die. I had to prove my loyalty. My parents made me they couldn’t have two blood-traitor children after all.” He pauses his face filling with disgust. “I despise it. I almost cut my arm off the first couple of days, I still think about it now sometimes. It hurt when I got it, it was agony. For days I felt ill, my body was tainted with dark magic I couldn’t fight, and I felt like I was going to die. I don’t want that touching you, your soul is pure and good, and you shouldn’t be near it. You shouldn’t be near me.”

Eva has tears in her eyes. Her voice shakes as she asks. “Regulus what did you get? What were you initiated into?”

Regulus shows his first real sign of emotion, as a tear falls down his cheek. He looks down as he rolls up the sleeve on his left arm. “I’m so sorry Eva.”

#regulus black fic #regulus black #regulus arcturus black #marauders era #harry potter fandom #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #ao3fic #hogwarts #fic #fan fic #ao3 writer #original character #hufflepuff x slytherin #slytherin x hufflepuff #hufflepuff #the marauders era

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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 2 years

Note

I know you've talked about the Sirius and Harry pairing- thoughts on fandom pairing Hermione with Sirius or Remus? Are either of them remotely viable- I almost think both Sirius and Hermione are bloodthirsty enough to overlook that part of the other

Anon, why do you do this to me?

This is the sound of my soul shriveling in despair.

Alright, fine, fine, we'll do it. WE'VE DONE WORSE ON THIS BLOG, YOU HEATHENS.

Hermione/Sirius

It's not necessarily a popular pairing, Dramione, Tomione, Snape/Hermione steamroll over it with no mercy whatsoever, however, it is a pairing that has more than one author behind it and I've read more than one fic where it takes place.

From what I've seen, it tends to be for those who don't want a Death Eater, want an adult character, but also want someone from a pureblood house like the Blacks. Sirius is chosen also because he's not a lake zombie (see Regulus), he has such history already in the story and is so close to Harry that he could reasonably pursue these ventures, and he rejected pureblood ideology.

So, it is a thing that exists.

Do I see it happening? No.

Sirius has 0 interest in Hermione. This is in part because she's Harry's schoolgirl friend (they first meet when Hermione is fourteen and he dies when she's sixteen) but also because he just has little interest in her. Sirius is recovering from Azkaban and most of what we see of him after his Buckbeak escape is shouting with his portrait mother, clawing at the walls, being chewed out by somebody for something, or talking with Harry and trying to connect with him and the memory of James. Hermione just isn't on his radar.

I don't think she could ever be on his radar either. She's too young, for one thing, but he's also so hung up on what happened with Lily and James. Especially James, his greatest friend who he failed. Everything is about James and by extension Harry. Hermione is nice in that she's Harry's friend, sort of his Marauders 2.0, but not something Sirius would care about.

Then we get Hermione's personality. She's brave, courageous, and loyal true but she's the nagging, narking, know-it-all who is 0 fun all the time. Sirius gets Harry a broomstick? Hermione narks to McGonagall. Harry does something hilarious and awesome? Hermione tells him it's a bad idea. Hermione is that boring friend who's a girl who just brings down the group.

In other words, not Sirius' type.

So even if Hermione was catapulted to the past and tried to befriend Sirius and co., Sirius would go "Ew, girl, gross" and probably remark on how Hermione's not hot enough to get away with being so annoying (vice Lily Evans).

On Hermione's end, she shows 0 interest in Sirius in a romantic sense. Or any real sense for that matter.

While she did spend a summer at his house, and was part of the rescue team, they don't appear to ever interact much and I imagine Hermione's not quite sure what to make of him. He's clearly not mentally all there after Azkaban, though it's great he loves Harry so much and all, but he's kind of just "unreliable adult" in her eyes who she never reaches out to nor particularly cares about one way or another. He's in the Order, great, is Harry's godfather, great, but that has nothing to do with her.

And true, he's very good looking (though less so after Azkaban) so that might have her making heart eyes, except we don't really see it. Hermione goes from not into anyone at all (Krum seemed more interested in her than her him) and then very interested in Ron.

She doesn't even seem to like Sirius, is what I'm getting at, and even if she did that'd be such a no go (Harry's godfather, way too old for her, doesn't seem to be into her, etc.) that she wouldn't do anything about it.

Any world where it did happen would be... creepy. Again, they met when Hermione was 13 and he knows her explicitly as Harry's schoolfriend. I suppose they could wait until Hermione's graduated or else time travel shenanigans but.... ah...

In the second case she'd be dating a Sirius who does thinks like the werewolf incident (which she would not approve of). In the first case it'd be stabbing Harry in the back and he would never, ever, ever forgive her and she would know it.

Hermione/Remus

Similar thing here.

The age difference is huge, they have very different life experiences, and it'd just be... such a bad relationship. Remus isn't in a good place for a relationship with anyone, and his relationship with Tonks is a dumpster fire due to it. It wouldn't be any different for Hermione. And being close to Hermione would mean being close to Harry which Remus does not want to touch.

He also pays her almost 0 mind throughout the series. He's not all that interested in Harry so being Harry's friend means even less to him than it did to Sirius. To him, she's the student he recently had, which means no dice.

On Hermione's end, she seems to have no interest in him and even less reason to interact with him than she did Sirius. He's gone for a good while trying to make an alliance with the werewolves (doesn't go so well) and otherwise isn't in the house much that summer. She barely sees the guy.

What she does see is a guy who is extremely poor (can't even mend his own clothes, which in the world of wizards means your destitute), can't hold a job, and while he was a great professor and she hates the stigma against werewolves that doesn't make him a romantic option either.

Hermione's not really a girl driven by romance. She seems to decide who she's going to like and then she goes for it (and gets mad if you don't fall in line). Dating Remus, even after time travel or when she's a grown adult, just isn't a reasonable option for her so she's not going to do it.

#harry potter #harry potter meta #harry potter headcanon #harry potter shipping #hermione granger #sirius black #remus lupin #hermione/sirius #anti hermione/sirius #hermione/lupin #anti hermione/lupin #meta #headcanon #opinion #shipping

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willowbleedsonpaper · 3 years

Text

Winter In The Shade II

Part II

Sirius Black x Ravenclaw Reader

W.C. : 2591

Requested by @amourtentiaa : It is Sirius' fifth year at Hogwarts, the same year he ran away from home and to the Potter's. Soon, he discovers the unfamiliar sight of his brother Regulus smiling and looking truly happy, next to him a Ravenclaw girl who immediately captures his interest. What will happen when the Black family gets involved in their sons lives and the ones they hold close to their hearts?

Warnings: Mentions of food. / Slight panic. /

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Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Sirius Black didn’t obsess over things. He just didn’t. It wasn’t in him to have something on his mind for more than necessary. He worried, yes, but this was different. There was nothing to worry about, unless he considered the rare sight of his brother smiling something to worry about. If anything he shouldn’t be worried but happy for him. No he wasn’t worried. He was...curious. Who was the girl who managed to make his brother smile?

“Stop it.” Remus grunted, snapping his fingers in front of Sirius to get his attention.

Sirius only glared at his friend as he made him jump in his seat, the cup of tea he held in his hand now all over his sweater. “Really?” Sirius hissed as he placed his cup back on the table “I’m not doing anything.” he defended himself.

Remus rolled his eyes “The fact that you are putting excuses out means you are.” he said matter of factly, shutting Sirius as the rest of his friends laughed.

James and Peter found this entire situation incredibly entertaining. Not only because Sirius had been paranoid since he saw his brother with that Ravenclaw girl, but because Remus thought it was creepy that Sirius was so invested in finding who the girl was, and that turned every interaction between Remus and Sirius into fights.

“Just go and ask whatever it is you want to know!” Remus said desperately.

“And have him see me?” Sirius hissed, pointing his fork in Regulus’ direction “Over. my. dead. body.”

Remus groaned loudly, muttering under his breath as he started to angrily stab his breakfast.

Sirius ignored him and turned back to the Ravenclaw table, his back straightening as his eyes scanned the entire Great Hall. Only the low chuckles from Peter pulling his attention back to his friends.

“She left.” James laughed “But you know Moony’s right. You need to do something about it.”

Sirius scoffed but said nothing as he held his head on his hands.

“How long has it been since you saw them? Two weeks?”

“Three.” Sirius muttered bitterly.

“Oh, you’re counting them.” Remus snorted, shaking his head.

Sirius turned sharply, pushing Remus’ head and almost getting it all over his plate “Shut up, Moony.” he said, turning back to James “And you’re one to talk, how’s Lily?” he mocked, making James smile sardonically at him.

“That’s different. At least I am doing something about it. You’re just staring. Speaking of…” James said, his eyes drifting from the table as he took his things in his hands, getting up from the table “Evans!” he didn’t say another thing, leaving the table before anyone could say anything.

“You could always talk to her.” offered Peter, making Remus and Sirius turn to him.

“I got that Peter, but she’s always with him.” Sirius said, referring to Regulus “It’s like trying to find a fish out of the water.” he sighed.

“Have you tried late at night?” Peter asked, getting questioning looks from both of his friends “I’ve heard she takes late night walks outside the castle, rarely gets caught so she won’t be easy to find but, you know, she’s all alone.”

“How do you know that?” asked Remus with wide eyes.

Peter just shrugged his shoulders as he went back to his breakfast “Rats talk.”

*******

The ceiling of your bed had started to lose shape as you stared at it, your eyes blurry as you blinked several times to clear up your sight with no luck. With a heavy sigh you turned on your side, letting out a soft groan as you read the clock on the wall across from you: 03:00 am.

You weren’t getting much sleep that night.

Careful not to wake any of your roommates, you rolled out of bed and grabbed the closest sweater you had, wrapping it over your shoulders. You made silent work on the heavy door to your dorm, walking down the stairs as you came across a few other sleepless Ravenclaws. You smiled mostly to yourself as you got to the massive library in the common room, a big group of first years sitting on the floor with books surrounding them in every direction, the sleep in their eyes known to you and every other student.

“Hi Y/N.” said one of the boys nearest to you, giving you a sleepy smile.

“Hey Félix.” you said to him, coming to kneel beside them as they all turned their attention to you “Shouldn’t you all be in bed?” you asked.

“You’re up too.” Saide, one of the girls said, and you chuckled “Why aren’t you sleeping?” she asked with amusement.

“I sensed a bunch of first years up and had to come down and see I wasn’t missing on all the fun.” you told them, scrunching your nose in a funny manner, making them all laugh.

Félix grabbed one of the biggest books in their selection, dropping it in front of you with a big thud “If you think Herbology is fun then feel free to join us, although we all know how good you are at that one.”

You made a face, sticking out your tongue as you practically crawled back “No, thank you.” you laughed humorlessly “You know I barely got out of that one myself, Sadie here had to help with my own homework.”

“True.” she confirmed, making all of them groan in defeat as they grabbed back their books.

You watched their tired eyes, all of them reading over and over the lines that still made no sense to your own brain “I’ll tell you this,” you said, capturing their attention “Since I know you won’t go to bed even if I tell you to, I’ll go down to the kitchens and grab you all some food so you can keep studying.”

They all cheered in whispers, whether it was because it was the middle of the night or due to their tired selves, you almost pouted at how cute they were and how much they reminded you of yourself and your friends.

It took a couple of minutes for you to narrow down all the things they wanted to something you could actually carry with you in “Ravenclaws studying in the middle of the night” amounts. Confident with their choices they let you go, opening the door to the common room easily as a soft breeze flew around your face, making you take a deep breath as you stepped out and started to descend the stairs. It was a long walk down to the kitchens, and a dangerous one considering the hour. Luckily, you knew your way around the castle.

The corridors echoed with the inevitable sound of your movements, your footsteps carried a rhythm of its own as you tried to be quiet, taking what you considered graceful steps with a calm but steady pace. But sometimes you couldn’t help yourself and take a few skips on your step as the air flew around you, the sound of the owls making a melody that made you wish you could dance. You had to stifle the giggles that escaped your lips every time you caught yourself making more noise than necessary, never scared of getting caught but because it would be a little embarrassing to be seen doing so, especially in the middle of the night.

Most of all you wished Regulus was there with you. It was rare to see him out in the middle of the night, almost impossible that you found him at the same time as you were outside. You wanted to make memories at Hogwarts with him, to have stories to tell when you were older about the fun mess you two would do at dramatic times in the night. You wanted to sing his favorite songs, and have him teach you how to dance, laugh as you escaped the angry calls of Professor McGonagall and get detention together for the rest of your time at Hogwarts. You wanted to have fun with your best friend. But where was he? Probably not sleeping, you knew he got the same amount of sleep or less than you did. But he decided to be boring after dinner and head straight to the Slytherin common room.

Lovely, you thought to yourself as you realized you were outside the kitchens, the characteristic aroma of it reaching your nostrils. How could it be that it smelled so amazing at the three in the morning? “Magic.” you mumbled as you turned to check on your surroundings, confirming that no one had followed you.

Stepping inside you focused on the task at hand: Feeding sleep deprived first years. Pulling out your wand you conjured Lumos, the soft light enough to get you around. The elves were very organized, laying tray after tray of food on the counters as if they were expecting you. You just hoped they wouldn’t mind your late visit.

You turned in your place, looking for something you could use to carry more things, letting out a squeal of excitement when you saw a basket there, it had a few carrots inside, carrots that you placed away as you started to collect the much needed snacks. Freshly baked bread and cookies were the most requested items. “Alright, food for the brain...Oatmeal cookies.” you said, as you placed them inside the basket “Chocolate chip cookies” you sang, humming as you placed the entire tray inside “Weird looking cookies, I can give those to Félix since he sold me out with not being good at Herbology.”

You were so entranced with your task, placing the cookies and bread neatly inside the basket that the sudden noise in the kitchens made you jump in your place, making you drop one of the cookies as you turned sharply, your wand held high as you stared shakily into the darkness. “Who 's there?” you asked, voice barely above a whisper.

When no one answered you, you relaxed your arm, letting it fall at your side as you sighed heavily “This is why I need sleep.” you told no one, kneeling to the floor and picking up the cookie that you dropped “Maybe I won’t feed the weird looking cookies to Félix, then.” you mumbled, looking suspiciously at your surroundings before you picked up the basket and started your way back to the common room.

The small scare in the kitchens left you on edge. Blame the lack of sleep or the fact that you were all alone in an enormous castle that had actual ghosts, your previous urge to dance and run around the hallways was now replaced with a need to run from whatever you were imagining was behind your back.

“No one’s there. No one’s there. No one’s there.” you repeated time and time again, turning to look over your shoulder every time you thought you heard something. Were you finally losing your mind? You were certain you heard a chuckle.

Almost reaching the stairs for the Ravenclaw common room you were more relaxed, your tired mind barely registering your surroundings. Turning one last time to be safe no one had seen you, you turned only to be met by the firm yet soft feeling of someone else's chest.

You didn’t have time to register how loud was your scream when a pair of hands took hold of your shoulders, preventing you from falling as you clutched the basket against your own chest.

“Merlin.” you mumbled, your eyes scrunched shut as you realized there was an actual person before you, a silly smile forming on your lips only to fall once you opened up your eyes.

“Are you alright?” asked a familiar yet strange voice.

You swallowed hard, nodding your head as you took one careful step back “Yes, thank you.” you said, putting on a smile as you examined his face and looked for any badge in his chest. He wasn’t a prefect. You let out a sigh of relief and he furrowed his eyebrows.

“You really are hungry.” he said, his eyes falling to the basket in your hands “Are you eating all that by yourself?” he asked.

It took you a second to react, your eyes following his gaze before you let out a nervous chuckle “No, no- this isn’t, it’s not for me.” you explained, the raise of his eyebrow making you come up with an explanation without him even asking “First years are studying and need some fuel, I’m just taking care of them.” you said, lifting up the basket with a smile.

“Let me guess.” he said, his hand going inside the basket as he grabbed a cookie “Food for the brain?” he asked.

You found yourself nodding with a smile, a sudden realization striking you as you stared with wide eyes at the boy in front of you. Regulus told you studying snacks were food for the brain; it was an inside joke the two of you had, or at least you thought. With a shiver running down your spine you took a more careful look at the boy in front of you, the black hair and beautiful grey eyes, a smile so familiar flashing at you from the wrong face. Food for the brain.

“Regulus.” you murmured, capturing his attention.

“Sorry?” he said.

You shook your head, taking a step back before you said “Your Regulus’ brother.” you told him “Sirius.”

Sirius would have smirked and said some flirty comment back to you, but the look on your face told him it wasn’t the best idea.

Footsteps caught both your attention, making the two of you turn to the source of the sound before he took a hold of your arm, pulling you next to him and behind a pillar. There was little to no space between you, his chest heaving with his breathing brushing close against your arm as he held a finger to his lips, looking forward and over your head.

You couldn’t help but stare up at him, the resemblance he had to Regulus so scary it made you wonder how you never noticed before.

His eyes were glued to the hall, only moving back to you once the sound of footsteps was fading in the distance. “I think they’re gone, but try not to scream again.” he said, focusing back on you “How come you know my name but I don't know yours?” he asked, the flirtatious tone on his voice having no effect in you.

“You’re Regulus brother.” you repeated “Scarily similar.” you explained.

He ignored the last comment, erasing any hint of bitterness “Still, I didn't get your name.”

Your eyes danced between him and the stairs, taking a more secure hold of the basket in your hand you looked up to him “I have to go.” you said with a smile “Goodnight Sirius.”

Before he could react, you had walked around him, your arms brushing together as you ran up the stairs. He had reached his hand to take a hold of yours but gave up in the end, you clearly didn’t want to talk to him and that only made you more interesting. Regulus had clearly talked to you about him.

*******

You sat with Regulus after a long day of classes, the weekend finally there for you to spend together and relax. Except you couldn’t. One thought still bugging you after days of the events.

“Hey, Reg?” you called, looking back to where he sat on the grass.

He hummed.

“Can you tell me about your brother, Sirius?”

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#winter in the shade #sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius black x ravenclaw!reader #sirius black x you #sirius black x y/n #regulus black #the marauders #marauders era #marauders fanfiction #sirius black fanfiction

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pet-genius · 3 years

Text

The Death Eaters as a Cult - Part 3

Follow up to this and this. Trigger warning: Cult abuse.

Draco is vulnerable to being recruited simply because he’s Draco - his father is a Death Eater, and he's eager to prove himself to the master he grew up believing in. I’m not usually sympathetic to Draco, but this line makes me feel for him:

“everyone thinks he’s so smart, wonderful Potter with his scar and his broomstick —”

“You have told me this at least a dozen times already,” said Mr. Malfoy, with a quelling look at his son. “And I would remind you that it is not — prudent — to appear less than fond of Harry Potter, not when most of our kind regard him as the hero who made the Dark Lord disappear.”

This makes it clear that he’s been indoctrinated from a young age into a fringe belief (his belief in the Dark Lord, not in blood supremacy - that’s mainstream), and into hiding it, even after the cult disbanded. This contributed to a sense of isolation from mainstream society, and for someone like Draco, exacerbated his existing condescension and entitlement. The same must be true for Crabbe and Goyle, who on top of being children, are stupid and lacking in critical thinking skills, which means an escape was nearly impossible for them, and indeed, Crabbe died, and who knows if Goyle was clever enough to stay out of Azkaban.

Throughout HBP, Draco goes from boastful to scared for his life.

From DLA:

“What say you, Draco?” asked Voldemort, and though his voice was quiet, it carried clearly through the catcalls and jeers. “Will you babysit the cubs?”

The hilarity mounted; Draco Malfoy looked in terror at his father, who was staring down into his own lap, then caught his mother’s eye. She shook her head almost imperceptibly, then resumed her own deadpan stare at the opposite wall.

Once on top, now the Malfoys are too scared to make eye contact with anyone and protest at their humiliation. Draco is looking to his parents for protection, but they know they can’t provide it, even though Narcissa is trying.

Regulus was in a similar situation to Draco - I think he felt pressured to prove himself after the bitter disappointment Sirius had been. He and Draco were marked before they were of age, whatever being of age means in the wizarding world - meaning Voldemort was not above using minors. He also used children: the Daily Prophet writes that the Ministry has captured a nine year old child who had been Imperiused into murdering his family.

Snape’s vulnerability is glaring. In a nutshell, his extreme poverty and the neglect and abuse played a part in his decision to join the Death Eaters, and there’s a reason why Lucius is seen patting him on the back as soon as he is sorted. Perhaps the policy was to groom all newcomers. Like Barty, he might have looked for a father figure. Harry notices the many similarities between Snape and Voldemort (and himself), and these are all things Voldemort must have used on young Snape as well.

Snape is an example of how disposable Voldemort’s followers were, to him - he sent him to Hogwarts to get the cursed DADA job, meaning he was willing to let a potentially horrible fate befall Snape within the year. Even after Snape ascended to #2 by killing Dumbledore (on Voldemort’s order, no less), Voldemort killed him to gain mastery of the wand Snape became master of by doing Voldemort’s bidding.

Snape also explains the Dark Mark

“There,” said Snape harshly. “There. The Dark Mark. It is not as clear as it was an hour or so ago, when it burned black, but you can still see it. Every Death Eater had the sign burned into him by the Dark Lord. It was a means of distinguishing one another, and his means of summoning us to him. When he touched the Mark of any Death Eater, we were to Disapparate, and Apparate, instantly, at his side.”

A famous cult in my country did this: The leader made his followers tattoo pictures of him and his name on their body. It’s this association that originally made me think of the Death Eaters as a cult. Voldemort branded his followers like cattle, and he expected them to drop everything they’re doing to run to him whenever he wants.

Snape was constantly tested, too. He was assigned a servant he despised, for one, and tasked with killing Dumbledore. Even after he had accomplished that, Voldemort did not fully trust him:

“Yaxley. Snape,” said a high, clear voice from the head of the table. “You are very nearly late.”

This is a threat, since they’re not actually late; I think it’s meant as a “hey, remember when I tortured you once for being late?” It is followed by:

“Saturday... at nightfall,” repeated Voldemort. His red eyes fastened upon Snape’s black ones with such intensity that some of the watchers looked away, apparently fearful that they themselves be scorched by the ferocity of the gaze. Snape, however, looked calmly back into Voldemort’s face and, after a moment or two, Voldemort’s lipless mouth curved into something like a smile.

Voldemort is using Legilimency - he still does not trust Snape, he still needs to interrogate him so carefully that the others are afraid to look.

Next, there is this:

“Do you recognize our guest, Severus?” asked Voldemort. Snape raised his eyes to the upside-down face. All of the Death Eaters were looking up at the captive now, as though they had been given permission to show curiosity.

That the Death Eaters all knew not to look up at the gruesome sight without permission, goes to show, again, how fun it must have been to be a Death Eater. In general, I think the best way to read “Dark Lord Ascending” is to pay attention to where people are looking, and how - it’s important in general, but especially in this chapter.

Lucius is an anomaly. It’s very hard to picture him kneeling, and there is no obvious reason why he should forfeit his dignity. Cults don’t typically target the elite, and in this, the Death Eaters are a bit strange, unless Lucius was also recruited at a young, impressionable age. This can be resolved if you consider that Voldemort is the Heir of Slytherin, and unlike cult leaders, he really is super-powerful, and the person with the most potential to achieve political goals the Malfoy family is interested in.

Privileged as he was, even Lucius had vulnerabilities, and Voldemort was a Legilimens, meaning it was very easy for him to tell what they were.

This is how he treats Lucius in DLA:

“As I was saying,” continued Voldemort, looking again at the tense faces of his followers, “I understand better now. I shall need, for instance, to borrow a wand from one of you before I go to kill Potter.”

The faces around him displayed nothing but shock; he might have announced that he wanted to borrow one of their arms.

“No volunteers?” said Voldemort. “Let’s see... Lucius, I see no reason for you to have a wand anymore.”

How… emasculating.

Lucius Malfoy looked up [so he was looking down until then]. His skin appeared yellowish and waxy in the firelight, and his eyes were sunken and shadowed. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse.

“My Lord?”

Lucius looks like he’s been through a lot. Also, since this scene takes place in the middle of July, why is there a fire? I’m theorizing that it’s for Nagini, or perhaps Voldemort is cold-blooded now, but in any case, he doesn’t care about the others’ comfort level. Maybe he even wants them to sweat.

“Your wand, Lucius. I require your wand.”

“I...”

Malfoy glanced sideways at his wife. She was staring straight ahead, quite as pale as he was, [...] At her touch, Malfoy put his hand into his robes, withdrew a wand, and passed it along to Voldemort.

Voldemort is making Lucius give him the wand himself, to reinforce his submission - he could have used magic.

“Give you my wand, Lucius? My wand?”

Some of the throng sniggered.

“I have given you your liberty, Lucius, is that not enough for you?”

Indeed, Voldemort has given Lucius his (questionable) liberty, but again, he is expecting gratitude for something Lucius would have had in the first place, were it not for him: Lucius was imprisoned because he was caught at the Department of Mysteries fighting for Voldemort.

“But I have noticed that you and your family seem less than happy of late.... What is it about my presence in your home that displeases you, Lucius?”

“Nothing — nothing, my Lord!”

“Such lies, Lucius...”

The soft voice seemed to hiss on even after the cruel mouth had stopped moving.

[...]

“Why do the Malfoys look so unhappy with their lot? Is my return, my rise to power, not the very thing they professed to desire for so many years?”

“Of course, my Lord,” said Lucius Malfoy. His hand shook as he wiped sweat from his upper lip. “We did desire it — we do.”

Remember the fire? Do you notice Lucius sweating? His hand shaking? See how terrified he is, and how awful it must be to be forced to state how much he loves being treated like that?

To Malfoy’s left, his wife made an odd, stiff nod, her eyes averted from Voldemort and the snake. To his right, his son, Draco, who had been gazing up at the inert body overhead, glanced quickly at Voldemort and away again, terrified to make eye contact.

This is what has become of the once mighty Malfoy family.

Legilimency is important - because it means Voldemort typically could spot the mere thought of defection, and manipulate it out of the offender or outright kill them. The DEs know he can read minds, and so averting your eyes could be seen as admitting to a lie, unless you avert your eyes regularly. Breaking eye contact is a gesture of submission, and if one’s body is forced into it enough, it becomes ingrained. Every mention of eye contact in Dark Lord Ascending reinforces that. Their body language in that chapter also shows how controlled they are. I believe Death Eaters are learning to occlude involuntarily, to deceive themselves into only having permissible thoughts and feelings, to ensure their own survival. This makes it impossible to escape.

Finally, there’s JKR’s statement that Snape was the only DE who could produce a Patronus. This can't be because he's not evil (Umbridge can produce a Patronus), and it can't be because he's the only DE who is more powerful than 13 year old Harry. I think it’s because they were not allowed to - I think a spell that requires you to think genuinely happy thoughts would have reminded Death Eaters that their happiness does not come from Voldemort. The rigid mind control screams "cult" to me, and I think it's a much more interesting take on them than "bunch of plot-stupid people who had somehow managed to terrorize the wizarding world despite being incompetent".

Hope you now feel the same and thanks for reading this thesis <3

#hp #meta #cults #lucius #snape #voldemort #regulus black #draco #narcissa malfoy

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believinghurts · 3 years

Text

Their Daughter Pt 2

Warnings: Yelling, self doubt?

Requested: No

MUST READ PART ONE FIRST

This hasn’t been proofread so I’m sorry in advance!

Part One The following weeks after Sirius arrived at Grimmauld Place were good. He spent some time with Ali although they ever spent much time with just the two of them at her request to her Uncles. She had agreed to spending time with Sirius, but didn’t want to be by herself with him; not that she feared he would harm, but that she didn’t want things to be awkward or for her to say the wrong thing. Regulus or Remus was always home with the two since Sirius wasn’t allowed to leave the house. Ali learned that like Regulus Sirius could play piano and also speak French. She also noticed that Sirius was restless. He always was moving or doing something to occupy his mind. They played Wizards Chess, Ali always won, or Exploding Snaps, Sirius won as well as watched a few Muggle movies.

Sirius enjoyed spending time with his daughter learning all the things he should have known if it weren’t for him being in Azkaban. He learned that her favorite color was green, that she loved to read anything she could get her hands on, and that she could speak some French as well as Bulgarian. She didn’t play Qudditch, but enjoyed watching it and was a fan of the Bulgarian team since she was friends with Viktor Krum. When Viktor was mentioned Sirius learned from Remus that the boy had had a crush on her, but Ali only saw him as a friend. True to Remus’s word Ali really was a light. The old house he was forced to stay in seemed brighter now that there was so much life in it.

Although he enjoyed the time he got to spend with Ali, he was slightly agitated that he didn’t get to have one on one time with her. He knew that she didn’t fully trust him yet, but he wasn’t going to hurt her. On top of spending time with Ali, he always got to build his relationship with Remus back up. It was strained before he was arrested and it still was. He thought Remus was the traitor so he avoided him the last couple of days of the first war. He loved Remus as a brother though he used to think that it was more than that. Now that Remus spent so much time at Grimmauld Place their relationship was as strong as before. Regulus and Sirius still got on each other's nerves and it was bluntly obvious most times. Regulus tried to maintain his temper mainly for Ali because he knew she didn’t like yelling. Try as he might they still had a yelling match that Ali had overheard while Remus was out.

It was the Tuesday after Sirius had arrived, and Ali had been in the living room on the couch reading a book. It was the first time Remus had left in a couple days and he was out to get groceries. Regulus had been reading with Ali when Sirius came in and asked to speak with him privately. Ali had acted like she was paying attention when the men left the room. She heard the door to the study shut, she quietly went through the trap door in the hallway that led into the wall of the study. She sat on her heels listening to the conversation that was about her.

“Why is Ali hanging out with the Malfoy’s? I thought you were done with all the Death Eater business, Regulus,” Sirius accused.

Regulus rolled his eyes, “because they are friends? Isn’t that what friends do? I thought you of all people would know that.”

“Friends? Seriously? You KNOW that Lucius was a Death Eater and he would never change his ways. And you just let her be friends with their kid?! Are you insane?,” Sirius yelled making Ali flinch.

“Yes. they are friends. Ali has a hard time making friends if you must know. She’s a Black and your child. You were sent to Azkaban, it’s public knowledge. No one trusts her no matter how many times she proved herself. She hangs out with Draco and his friends. He watches out for her. He always has.” Regulus’s voice was firm. He wasn’t going to let Sirius ruin the few relationships Ali had outside of the house. He knew that Sirius wouldn’t trust the Malfoy’s but he did. They helped him with ali when he needed something the was grateful for. Sirius would never understand what it’s like for Ali. “Sirius, I will not be discussing this again with you. Her friends are her friends. She trust them. Get over it. You have no right to say anything about it. Leave it alone, Sirius. I suggest you come to term with it.”

Regulus had left Sirius stewing over his words. Sirius didn’t want his daughter hanging out with the Malfoys and she was not going to. Alianova was his daughter, not Regulus’s. If he didn’t want her hanging out with them, she wouldn’t.

Sirius hadn’t spent a lot of time with Ali since that day. She had overheard from Remus that Harry and some others were to be joining us at Grimmauld Place, something that she's not looking forward to. Her and Harry didn’t get along mainly due to the fact that she was there when Draco made fun of Harry's friend choice in First Year. Admittedly Ali was the reason that Draco had stopped with tormenting so many people, but he hadn’t stopped completely and Harry just got on his nerves to no end. It didn’t help matters that the Weasley twins had played many pranks on her. Draco wouldn’t stand for anyone making fun of or bullying Ali. Draco saw her as a little sister even though they were only 3 months apart.

When Harry had found out that Sirius was his Godfather while believing that he was the cause of his parents death, he had taken it out on Alianova. Calling her many names, blaming her for her fathers actions, and going as far as saying she was as vile as those that followed Voldermort. Though Harry blamed her father for what had happened he didn’t know that it was her father; he believed it was her Uncle. Even after he learned the truth he had never apologized to Ali or even looked her way for that matter. Ali was pretty sure that Herimone didn’t have much of an opinion on her since that had never had problems nor talked. Ron put her in the same category as Draco since she hung out with him and other Slytherins. She was also there when Draco called Hermione a Mudblood, what Ron didn’t know was that after the incident Ali gave Draco a tongue lashing and didn’t speak to him for three days till he was basically crying, begging her to talk to him. So Ali knew that when Harry arrived it wasn’t going to be pleasant for her.

Her Uncles were aware of the fact that she didn’t get along with the Golden Trio, and were seemingly preparing for the worst. Severus dropped off a new set of books she had been wanting so that she could keep busy if she was going to hide out in her room. Remus had talked to her about it, explaining that he knew Ali never did anything to make Harry act like he did towards her, as well as making sure she had her favorite tea and extra chocolate chip cookies in the cupboard. Regulus was silently preparing for a battle to break out when Harry did arrive. He had a feeling that it wasn’t going to go over well when he saw how the duo couldn't stand one another. Sirius would think that Harry and Ali would be best friends because him and James were. Regulus had never actually talked to the Potter boy unlike Severus and Remus. Ali never talked about him, but he had heard a few things from Draco about how Potter perched for equality though treated Slytherins like dirt Ali being included.

The couple days leading up to Harry's arrival with the Weasley’s Ali started going in on herself; spending even more time alone, not talking a lot during meals, or going to bed earlier than normal. Sirius noticed her odd behavior but just thought it was a teenage girl thing. He was excited for Harry to get there. He felt bad that he wasn’t there for him all these years and was planning on making it up to him in any way that he could. It was all that came out of Sirius’s mouth the last couple of days and Regulus was fuming over it. Sirius hadn’t even been this excited when he was going to meet his own daughter for crying out loud.

Ali was sitting in the kitchen when she heard a commotion coming from the front door. Thinking it was just Remus coming back she brushed it off going back to reading her book till she heard voices coming towards her. She looked up seeing Sirius walking in with Harry under his arm while an army of Redheads followed. Great. I’m trapped in here with them, she thought to herself. Truthfully she was nervous that Harry was going to say something that could ruin what little relationship she had with her father. Ali didn’t do well with a lot of people she didn’t know and while she went to school with all these kids she didn’t know them besides their bullying towards her. Glancing back up from her book she saw that Ron was glaring at her, Harry was looking at her with what could be described as distrust, and Sirius was looking at her confused while the others looked at her with curiosity minus the twins who couldn't care less.

“Ali, get off the counter and come say hello to our new house guest,” Sirius demanded while motioning her forward. She hopped off the counter trying to fight off the blush that was rising to get reprimanded for something she did all the time, and offering a little wave towards the crowd, “Hi, I’m Alianova, but you can call me Ali.”

None of the children said anything, but the redheaded adults looked at her oddly. The women who Ali knew to be the Weasley mother looked at Sirius, “You didn’t tell us that Regulus had a daughter Sirius.”

Ali’s mouth dropped. He hadn't ever mentioned her to anyone? She felt her heart shatter in her chest. Tears burned in her eyes as she felt like a dirty little secret. She cleared her throat hoping to get rid of the egg carton she had swallowed not wanting to cry in front of them.

“As much as I would love to take claim for this princess, I cannot. Isn’t that right, Sirius?” Regulus ultimately appeared out of thin air next to Ali wrapping an arm around her shoulders. He knew that Molly meant no harm with her comment, but it hurt Ali still. Regulus couldn't help but smirk a little when he noticed Sirius was flustered a bit at Molly's comment. Sirius oblivious wasn’t expecting someone to rung up the fact that he had a daughter that he didn’t tell anyone about. The humor was swiped out of the situation when Regulus noticed the tears gathered in his nieces eyes. Regulus wished that Ali was all his and not Sirius’s. Sirius didn’t deserve someone so pure, and time would tell if Sirius deserved someone at all.

Everyone looked shocked staring at Sirius, “Then whose is she?,” Harry asked.

Sirius rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly looking down at his feet, “Harry, this is my daughter Alianova Black.”

“What?!”

“Your daughter?”

“She’s a snake!”

Various voices rang out through the room as the information was taken in. Ali subconsciously stepped closer to Regulus clutching her book to her chest, not enjoying the loud noise nor the stares that were now coming her way. Molly had hushed her children before stepping forward to meet the girl.

“Hello, dear. I’m Molly Weasley.” Ali looked at the women nervous. She uncurled her hand from around her book and shook the older womens hand. She smiled slightly at her and her kindness, thanking Merlin that at least one of the Weasley’s seemed nice. Molly started to point to the others in the room, “That’s Arthur, my husband, ‘ Pointing to the man that gave her a enthusic wave before looking around the house again. “Bill and Fleur,” A long haired redhead with a fang earring stepped forward with a girl Ali recognized as Fleur Delocur under his arm. Fleur smiled brightly when she saw it was Ali everyone was talking about. They had talked some while Fleur was at Hogwarts, and she was looking forward to speaking with the young girl again. “That’s Charlie. He won’t be here a lot since he goes back and forth to his job in Romania,” A man with long hair who was slightly shorter than Bill, but broader smiled at her nodding his head before turning back to his older brother. “And of course you know the others from school, right dear?”

Ali nodded her head avoiding looking at the younger of the bunch. Harry spoke up once again looking at Ali, “You never told me he was your dad.”

“You never asked, Potter,” Ali summoned all the confidence she had in her body to help her look him in the eye. “And obviously it wasn’t important enough for Sirius to mention it either.”

The tension was thick in the room. Most looking between Ali and Sirius wondering what was going to happen next. When Sirius noticed no one was going to come to his aid he stepped up, “I didn’t mention it because it just never came up. I wasn’t sure where you were Alianova so I didn’t know if they knew you or not. Maybe now that all of you,” he paused looking at the trio then me, “will be living in the same house where you can be friends.”

Ali silently rolled her eyes knowing that nothing would make them want to be friends with her. Ron scoffed, “Yeah right. She’s a bloody slytherin.”

His comment earned him a whack upside the head from his mother. “It doesn't matter what she is or not. You will be nice, do you understand me?” She sent pointed looks to Ginny, Ron, Fred, and George who all looked down at the floor nodding. Ali noticed the pleading look she got from the twins, but she couldn’t tell if it was asking her to forgive them or for her not to tell all the horrid things that they had done to her and her friends.

Ali decided it was time to correct something. Even though they had all been sorted together it was evident the trio had not paid enough attention to know what house she was in. “Actually, I’m a Ravenclaw.”

Regulus beamed down at his niece freaking his older brother out. He was proud that ALi stood up for herself. She was Black, but did not have the temper of one. She often preferred to ignore confrontation at all cost. Ali lit out a quiet giggle at the look of shock on their faces. She figured at least Hermione knew that she was a ravenclaw.

“But you are always with the Slytherins,” Harry stated

“Yeah, they're my friends?”

“But you're a Ravenclaw, why hang out with the snakes?” Ron seemingly finished Harry's thoughts for him and Ali wondered if it was because they shared a brian cell.

“I just get along with them..Draco is family anyway. So we’ve always been close. I don't understand what the problem is? Just because I’m from one house I cant be friends with people in another?” Ali crossed her arms over her chest while Harry glared at her through narrowed eyes.

Noticing that things were going to get south quickly Regulus stepped in. “Um, Molly, Kreacher has prepared some of the rooms you lot. The doors that are open are the ones that are ready. I can have Kreacher show you if you like.”

“No it's okay, dear.” with that Molly Weasley set off, ordering her children to a room and to whom they would share with. Herimone and Ginny, and Fred and George took the rooms on the top floor, Harry and Ron on the floor above Ali with Molly and Arthur, while Charlie took the room beside Ali’s and Bill and Fleur took the room across from her. Ali was excited that Fleur would be so close to her. Although the girl was much old she had taken a liking to Ali and the two bonded through French and their love for anything sweet. Fleur was one of the many girls and boys that Ali had bonded with when the other two schools were staying at Hogwarts. Viktor was someone Ali had known from a young age and he had introduced her to many of his Balharian friends whereas she met Fleur on accident and became close with ehr and the other french girls. Before leaving the room Fleur had shocked everyone by pulling Bill and Charlie with her to hug the girl close and whispering that she was glad to see her again. Fleur introduced her to the older Weasleys more privately making sure Ali knew that they wouldn’t judge her like the others did since Fleur knew all about her struggles in school.

Charlie was shocked when he saw the book about Dragons in Ali’s hands. “You read about Dragons?” Causing Bill to roll his eyes at his brother.

“You only just met the girl ten seconds ago and you are already starting about dragons?” Fleur and Ali let out a little giggle at Bill’s comment while Regulus watched from the corner of the room happy that someone was being kind to his Ali.

“It’s okay, Bill. Um, yeah, my uncle Sev got me this book. I like to learn about different creatures. I already read all I can about Hippogriffs so I’m onto dragons. You work in romania right? The dragon sanctuary there?” Ali felt kind of odd to be talking with people about something she liked who didn;t know her very well. Every Draco got bored of her ‘learning talk’ as he called it.

“Yeah I do. How’d you know?” Bill was stunned to see Charlie talking freely without being awkward. Charlie was not well with people which was why he worked so close with as many non human things as he could.

“Your mum mentioned Romania and you have on Dragon skin boots. So I put two and two together.”

“Watch out, boys, she’s observant. She’ll know all your secrets before you can even count to ten.” Fleur laughed, hugging Ali once more promising to catch up later before dragging the boy to unpack.

Ali stood awkwardly watching Sirius fawn over Harry. It was as if Sirius was Harry’s father instead of hers. He had spent a little bit of time with Ali over the past couple of weeks, but he never acted like that. Maybe that was why she had a hard time calling him Dad. It would go back and forth between Sirius and dad. Remus had explained to her that she didn’t have to do anything that she didn’t want to from a young age, so sometimes when she felt like he was acting like her father he was dad, but others he was just Sirius.

Air of awkwardness around Ali broke Regulus’s heart as he followed her gaze to Sirius and Harry. SIrius was talking with Harry about school and Quidditch while essentially ignoring his own flesh and blood. Regulus knew exactly how ALi felt in that moment because he felt it too when Sirius would push him away in favor of James. When Regulus looked at Sirius and Harry that’s what he saw. The boy hadn’t been here an hour and Sirius was already forgetting those around him like he did in school.

Regulus was about to walk up to Ali when he heard a pecking noise coming from the window. He recognized it as the Malfoys owl and from the look on Ali’s face she did too. Regulus opened the window letting Ember sit on the still before taking the letters out of its beak. The letters were addressed to Ali and from the handwriting it looked to be Narcissa’s on one and Draco’s on the other. “Here you go Al,” he gave the owl a few treats before sending her home.

Ali tore open Narcissa’s letter first knowing that all the important information would be in there. She was excited as this was the first time she would get to talk to her other family in weeks seeing as they were gone to France for a trip, one that Ali was invited on, but turned away in favor of hanging out with Regulus.

Dear Alianova,

I hope that you are having a good summer so far. I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to write, but it was incredibly busy taking care of your uncle and cousin while in France. We were meant to be home last week, but Lucius wanted to stay a tad bit longer. You know how he is for French coffee. Anyway I heard through Andromeda that Sirius was now staying with you and Regulus. How is that going, darling? I know that you were nervous when he first got out of Azkaban.

I know that Regulus has allied himself with the Order as we are trying to stay neutral to it all. Lucius has taken a bit more convincing, but after telling him what you told me about He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named being a half-blood he started to listen more. He still doesn’t like it very much, but does not wish to put myself, Draco, or you in harm's way after what happened last year.

Draco is looking over my shoulder trying to get me to get to what he thinks is the important stuff. The reason I am writing is because I was wondering if you would like to come stay with us for a week or so at the Manor? I know that being around so many people bothers you and Draco tells me you and Potter don’t get along.

So how about it, darling? We could go shopping for school supplies and anything else you could want. Lucius even said he missed your wits the other day at dinner. Let me know when you decide. If you would rather spend time with your father I understand as does the others. Completely up to you.

All my love,

Aunt Cissa

While Ali was reading her letter Remus had come home from a meeting with Nymphadora. He saw the smile grow on Ali’s face as she read the parchment in her hands. Regulus had given him a pointed look before nodding at Sirius when he entered the room and he instantly knew what he thought would happen had happened. Remus was Sirius and James' friend yes, but he knew how it felt to be the outsider looking in on the duo much like Ali was to Sirius and Harry.

Once Ali finished her letter and was sticking it back in the envelope Remus approached her. “Hey Nova.” He gave her a hug before leaning on the counter looking at her. “Whose got you all excited?”

Sirius turned his attention to Ali waiting on her response. He saw her get the letter, but wasn’t sure who they were from. He watched with envy as Ali talked with Regulus and Remus freely. She didn’t act like that towards sirius. Ali was his daughter, much like Harry was his son. He was incredibly grateful to have Harry back in his life, wanting to know the boy as much as possible. Sirius felt his blood start to burn when he heard Ali’s response to Remus’s question.

“It’s from Cissa. They just got back from France a couple of days ago and wanted to know if I could come stay with them for a week or so,” Ali smiled happily at the thought of spending time with her Aunts. She didn’t know Bellatrix, not that she wanted to, according to Regulus Bellatrix was mean and an avid follower to the Dark Lord. He had placed wards all around the house when the news of her getting out of Azkaban broke out just as Lucius and Ted Tonks did to their houses as well. Andromeda and Narcissa were closer after the Malfoy family stopped following the Dark Lord which led to Ali getting to spend time with her two cousins and her older one falling in love with her uncle Rem even if he denies it. “So can I go? Please?,” she looked back and forth between her two uncles.

“I don’t have a problem with it, do you Regulus?,” Remus chuckled when he saw Ali bounce lightly on her toes knowing that Regulus wouldn’t say no.

Regulus opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted, “No, you cannot go. Are you insane? Bellatrix just broke out of prison and you are wanting to spend time with the Malfoys? For all you know Bella could be there!” Sirius practically shouted at the girl who flinched backwards making Regulus scowl at his brother.

“Yes Ali, you may go. But you have to write to me at least twice, and promise not to get into too much trouble with Draco.” Regulus ignored his brother's huffs focusing on Ali. “When do you leave?”

“Cissa didn’t say. Just to write back my reply,” Ali started reading the letter to make sure she hadn’t missed it.

“Well, why don’t you reply and tell her that I can drop you off at Andromedas tomorrow evening when I go pick up Dora,” Remus said fighting the blush from the looks his friend and niece were giving him.

“Got a date uncle rem?” Ali giggled as Remus’s mouth opened and shut like a fish, “I’ll go write her back. Thank you both.” She kissed them on the cheek before heading to her room. As she climbed the stairs the last thing she heard was the yell of Sirius Black.

“Are you both fucking insane?! You’re letting her go and STAY at the Malfoy Manor? For a week? It’s no wonder her and Harry don’t get along! She’s just like them! A snake! You have ruined my daughter!”

Ali’s heart broke again hearing her fathers words about her. Tears ran down her face as she shut her door silently thanking whoever was listening that she was getting out of this house for a little while.

#sirius black x reader #sirius black x daughter!reader #regulus black #Remus Lupin #remus lupin x niece!reader #regulus black x Niece!reader #daughter!reader #narcissa malfoy #harry potter and the goblet of fire

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sweeethinny · 3 years

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Colors

started with a one shot because I wanted to write about someone fighting with Snape during an Order meeting (because God knows I would)

ended with me writing three moments of a world where jily lives, Sirius and Hestia happen, and it takes place in 1995

TW: the first one shot - BLACK - talks about an anxiety attack, so if you don't want to read about it, just skip to the next color: YELLOW

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Black. {respect, death, isolation, fear, loneliness.}

Sirius felt like he was going to lose his mind, and he probably would.

Memories of a past he tries so hard to forget keep coming back to him at night, preventing him from sleeping, which automatically prevents him from living as a normal human being.

But it's only when Dumbledore forbids him to leave the house for anything - Moody thinks he's too unstable - that Sirius freaks out.

He breaks everything in the attic, absolutely nothing escapes his anger. He rips up stupid family portraits, smashes stupid ceramic cups, burns old newspapers that proudly displayed a picture of the Black family on the cover - a photo he wasn't in. Sirius feels he could blow up that house if it weren't for James, Lily and Harry living there. It's basically what keeps him from ending that stupid legacy that haunts him like a death spell.

He picks up that stupid box of pictures he hid before before everyone arrives - because he's ashamed -, and starts burning them one by one with his wand, hating more than anything to notice there aren't any pictures of him in there. He's been completely erased from the family, and Sirius thinks it's a pain that will never go away.

Watching Regulus's cheerful face burn through photo after photo, enrages him even more. The golden boy, the most perfect of all, while he has his name burned on the wall, and everything that could show that were two brothers before, erased like a single misspelled word in a letter.

He doesn't exist there, only his bedroom remains, which is one of the rooms he avoids the most, although it's the only one left to prove that he once lived there.

He hates that house, he feels like marching to his parents' grave and screaming at them, and screaming at that stupid portrait of his mother until there's no more air in his lungs, because she did that to him. She's turned him into this unstable madman who needs to be chained indoors like a dog while the others work for him.

Before he could do anything else, James intervened.

And at first Sirius hated him to do that, because how could James care so much for someone like him? He wanted to scream and push James from upstairs, wanted him to leave him alone, but suddenly he didn't want any of that anymore. Then Sirius began to shamelessly cry like a child on his best friend's shoulder, sobbing as if someone had hit him.

James didn't say anything, because he was a good friend after all, just stood there, hugging Sirius and hoping that whatever happened to him would pass and he'd calm down.

Sirius felt like crap for not being as good as James.

"I'm here with you," James said, as he would say to Harry or Lily. ''Everything will be fine.''

''No, James, you know it’s not that easy, I... I can't stand being in here anymore, there's a memory wherever I look, I... Dumbledore took everything I had left, I want my freedom back, I want my motorcycle, I want my wife I want my house...'' Later, Sirius would be embarrassed for sounding so weak, but right now, he couldn't care less.

"Hestia will be here in a few days, and… it will all be over as quickly as it started, you'll see, by Christmas you'll be back to your routine."

‘’It's not true, Prongs, you know it's not. We've been in this shit for years now, I feel like I'm going to die any second.”

"You won't, I won't let you," James promises, hugging him even tighter.

Yellow. {light, warmth, relaxation, optimism, joy}

Hestia first entered Grimmauld Place during the night, a storm was falling outside and her body was cold and tense. She just wanted to see him, for Merlin's sake, just make sure he was okay. She made sure not to make so much noise because Lily said in the letter that there was a horrible portrait of Sirius' mother who would scream if you woke her up, and Hestia didn't have the patience for that.

She's had horrible days now that she's had to travel further into the woods—which doesn't help her research at all—and has been prevented from talking to him. Hestia had only spoken to Lily once, and she told her that Sirius was not well, which was nothing new as he had to go back to his parents' house and Hestia knew that it would torment him much more than it already did.

But when she arrived in the kitchen she noticed him there, sitting alone at the table, a half-empty bottle of wine and an empty glass in front of him. Sirius had his back to her, but Hestia didn't need to see him to know he had a serious expression on his face.

"You shouldn't drink this time of night," she said, her voice sounding a lot more worried than she imagined it would.

Sirius jumped up from his chair, wand already in hand, gray eyes bulging as he watched her warily. ‘’Tell me about our first time.’’

Hestia laughed. "Only you to ask me that question," She sighed. ''We were at the Potter's house, Euphemia had made the bed in the guest room for me, so I went to say good night but you started kissing me and when I saw it, I was half naked on your bed, wearing a black lingerie, and you was saying you wouldn't let me out of there ever again… Anything else?''

Sirius didn't answer her, just lowered his wand and walked over to Hestia with a face so worried she almost didn't recognize him, his arms enveloping her in a warm, familiar hug that made her bury her head in his shirt, feeling a little foolish for wanting to cry.

"I've missed you so much," Sirius said, his lips against her hair, damp from the rain and a little oily from days without washing it. “Merlin, I thought I was going crazy.” He denies it. "I went crazy actually."

"Lily told me," Hestia hugged him even tighter, wanting Sirius to understand that she was really there, that he wasn't alone. ''How are you?''

"Absolute shit…" He snorted, pulling away from her enough that Hestia could look at him more cautiously. Sunken eyes and cheeks, big dark circles, long hair, stubble… Her heart aches. “But you're here now, so we're stuck in this shit together. You can't run away from me anymore, Jones.”

''Not at all, Moody forbade me to leave the house after I got back, something about,'' Hestia pauses, remembering the unfriendly conversation they had, and how the auror yelled that ''her out-of-control husband nearly killed them ''. Sirius would probably think it was his fault that she couldn't go out anymore. Which was half true, but then again, Hestia didn't help herself when she lost her temper and yelled at Moody back. "About him and Dumbledore not wanting to take chances with one of us out of the house."

“They think I'm crazy, don't they?” His jaw tensed, his gray eyes seeming to burn. "Well, I'm sorry if I didn't keep quiet when I heard someone talking shit about my godson and calling him a liar."

"You don't help Harry at all if you keep threatening other Aurors."

"I know." He sighed, leaning his forehead against hers, keeping his eyes steady on hers. There was a faint booze smell to him, but nothing to make her think he was completely drunk. "But you know how I am."

"I know," Hestia placed her hands on his face, making a brief caress of his cheek before leaning in to kiss him. "I love you, but I prefer you without that beard."

"I was thinking of making it look like Dumbledore's." Sirius chuckled softly, his eyes still closed and his lips touching hers.

"Do that, and you'll never see the middle of my legs again."

"Ouch, it's not fair," He looked at her, his gray irises gleaming in amusement as he pouted softly.

"Take it or leave it, Black." Hestia pulled away from him, grabbing her suitcase from the floor. “I need to take a shower.” She arched her eyebrows. 'Will you keep me company?'

“Of course, I hear this house is very haunted, so I'll have to stay with you to protect you from the ghosts.” They walked out of the kitchen, taking slow steps so as not to wake the fucking portrait.

''Thank you so much, I'm terrified of haunting.'' Hestia smiled, letting him lead her to his room - which looked strangely untouched - and then to the bathroom, with Sirius talking non-stop about how he would protect and secure her, so that Hestia didn't have her foot pulled during the night.

“We'll have to sleep cuddled together so that doesn't happen.” He took off his shirt, and Merlin, how she missed him. "And no clothes." Sirius waved his wand at the water to fill the tub, then unzipped his pants and took them off along with his underwear.

''I'm sure yes.''

Red. {passion, lust, war, danger, violence}

It is during a meeting of the Order that Hestia loses her temper.

She was sitting next to Sirius and holding hands with him, as they usually are, talking quietly about everything and nothing while Molly doesn't come down and McGonagall doesn't arrive. Everyone is there, she knows it, and every now and then someone looks at the nearly untouched glass of firewhiskey in front of Sirius, but she doesn't care, she keeps talking to him and making him chuckle softly, saying how indecent her new panties are just because she likes to tease him.

And because things are getting more and more tense.

Living in that house didn't just affect Sirius, but she too, and every now and then Hestia finds herself close to breaking everything in sight, blind with rage that Dumbledore has trapped them there like a lab rat, thinking that if Sirius doesn't explode that house, or that damned picture of his mother, she goes.

Anxiety gnaws at her inside and every day she wakes up thinking that this will be the last, tomorrow they will return to their home, safe and sound, enjoying their freedom again, and Hestia won't have to worry about talking portraits and a elf that pisses her off, no matter how kind she tries to be.

But when Snape speaks - something she's been ignoring since he arrived - she just can't take it anymore.

''Like Black could do anything, being trapped in here.'' He says, in that petulant tone he's been throwing at her, Sirius, James and Lily every meeting, and Hestia's chest burns, finally finding a good target to take out all her anger.

She knew Lily said it was best to ignore him, she tried to do it, but Hestia couldn't do it anymore, not when Dumbledore trapped them there now that they were no longer useful making them almost insane. Driving Sirius insane! How can he trap him in the only house he knows would affect him, in an environment where for years he's been frowned upon and unloved, making him wake up the demons that have long been sleeping.

Sirius was getting sick in there and Dumbledore couldn't care less.

Without saying a word she reached for her wand at her hip, standing up and nearly knocking over the chair behind her, making everyone look at her as she sewed Snape's mouth shut and stopped him from talking any more, eyes getting huge in his face.

"Speak one more time of my husband and I'll kill you, and I'm not even kidding," Hestia said, her voice low and her eyes hard on that coward. ''I've killed a lot of Death Eaters in the last few years, and I would have done it to you in a blink if Dumbledore hadn't convinced himself that you're worth some shit. But I don't believe it, Snape, I know you, you're nothing more than a scared coward who runs when sees the boat sinking, so think twice before talking about my husband, because I can kill you without you even seeing where the spell came from.'' She undid the invisible ropes that they kept his mouth shut, and the man let out an exaggeratedly long breath of air, but Hestia didn't mind.

She sat back down, feeling her heart beat much faster than normal, hot blood rushing through her veins and making her feel feverish.

Sirius smiled, putting his arm over her shoulder and staring at Severus near the other end of the table, his eyes blazing with anger but still looking too scared to speak. Coward.

It didn't take long for the meeting to start, obviously Dumbledore being an idiot every time he needed to talk to her, probably wanting to remind her who was in charge here, like he did at Hogwarts. Well, she hadn't been his student for years now, so she couldn't have cared less about it, honestly.

#my fic #jily lives #sirius x hestia #anti snape #sirius black #padfoot #hestia jones

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omgrachwrites · 3 years

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The Princess and The Duke - Chapter Ten

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Summary: As the Princess of Spain, you were always supposed to marry King James of England to make an alliance between Spain and England. When he marries a woman at his court for love, you are married off to his best friend, Sirius Black the Duke of Bedford to keep the alliance. However, the court is riddled with secrets and a rebel in the North starts to rise against the Throne. Royal AU.

Warnings: angst, character death, mentions of blood, mentions of violence, fluff

Words: 2816

A/N: How are we on chapter ten already?! I’m so sorry for this chapter, but why is angst so fun to write? Hope you guys enjoy this part and please let me know what you think and let me know if you would like to be tagged! xxx

Chapter Ten - To Die in Battle

The harsh winter wind was raging fiercely as Sirius stood on the frozen front lawn of the castle, if he didn’t die in the fighting then he would surely freeze to death. But, the wind was nothing compared to the emotions swirling in his heart. He was leaving his beautiful wife and his unborn child; he was surely walking to his certain death. Sirius didn’t know – no one did – what the numbers were like in Cumbria. But, with Scotland on this Lord Voldemort’s side, Sirius and James would be outnumbered, even with the Frenchmen that King Francis had sent.

Y/N looked beautifully sorrowful and melancholy as she looked up at him, tears filling her eyes. She reminded him of a painting he had once seen of Guinevere, when she had heard the news of Arthur’s death. Sirius hoped that he wouldn’t go the same way.

Sirius tried to smile but he feared that it came out as more of a grimace as he cupped Y/N’s rosy and frozen cheeks, “I’ll come back to you, my love. I promise, I love you so much.”

“You better had come back to me Sirius, I love you too,” Y/N sniffled and pulled him into a long passionate kiss, he poured all the love he had for her into the kiss and he knew that she was doing the same.

The kiss lasted for so long that James had to speak up, “Sirius, I’m sorry but we have to go,” reluctantly, Sirius pulled away from Y/N and pressed a kiss to her forehead, her eyes were pleading with him not to go, but he had no choice. As he rode away, he stole one last look at his Princess, hoping that he’d be able to see her again.

The journey up North went by without so much as a hitch and it surprised Sirius but he was glad that they hadn’t run into any trouble. There was enough trouble in Cumbria, they didn’t need more. The army made camp about a mile outside of Cumbria close enough to the fighting but fat enough away that they could feel safe.

Nerves swarmed in Sirius’ stomach as he heard the pounding drums of the battle, this wasn’t his first time fighting but now there was so much at stake; the state of the country and the life of Y/N and their child. What would happen to them if he died? He was going to fight tooth and nail to make sure that he survived, he had to.

“You look positively green, Peter. Are you alright?” Sirius tried to laugh but it came out hollow and humourless.

Peter swallowed, “I’m scared.”

Sirius nodded and placed his hand on his friend’s shoulder, Sirius would have called him a coward if he didn’t care so much about him, “so am I, Peter. But, we’re going to win, I know we are,” Sirius’ voice sounded more confident than he truly felt.

Peter nodded and gave Sirius a tight smile but for the rest of the day, he looked increasingly better.

The first few days of the fighting started off slowly but that didn’t mean it was any less brutal, Sirius hated killing men, even in battle, he felt like a monster. Dark red blood tainted the pure blanket of white snow, like spilled wine. The screams of dying men and the stench would forever haunt Sirius’ dreams as he fought in the beautiful countryside of Cumbria. He prayed to God every night, thanking Him for keeping him safe. Sirius had never before been a religious man but now seemed a good time to start believing.

What Sirius thought was odd was the fact that they hadn’t seen the fabled Lord Voldemort yet and they hadn’t seen the Scots. Thankfully, Sirius didn’t see Regulus among the men who were trying to kill him. He hoped that his kind little brother was somewhere safe, somewhere far away from the fighting.

Days rolled by and the fighting continued and the warring men painted the countryside red with each other’s blood. James had received an arrow in the shoulder and Remus had been on the receiving end of a dagger in the side, though they would both pull through. Sirius and Peter remained unscathed apart from a few cuts.

Sirius worried more about the effect that this battle would have on his mind and his dreams. James’ army dwindled in size, too many good men died, too many men that Sirius had known when he was a child.

A couple more days went by and Sirius’ young squire, Johnathan succumbed to a fatal wound by the frozen river. He asked Sirius to hold him, he didn’t want to be alone as he died, “it’s a beautiful place to die, apart from the battle of course,” Johnathan tried to laugh but he only choked on the blood that spilled from his mouth as he looked at the frozen river and the mountains beyond.

Hot tears fell down Sirius’ cheeks as he held his friend, Johnathan was so young. Sirius hadn’t wanted him to fight but Johnathan had begged him, he had wanted to be a Knight, “Johnathan, you crazy bastard,” Sirius sniffled as he tried to hold the life inside Johnathan by putting pressure on the wound but he knew it was no use. Johnathan was going to die, “you would have made an amazing Knight.”

“Damn right,” Johnathan gave a little pained smile as his voice grew weaker and began to fade, “when you get back home to your lovely wife, please tell the Lady Sophia that I love her. I’ve thought of her every moment and I’m thinking of her now as I lay dying. My only regret is that I didn’t see her beautiful face once more.”

Sirius nodded, “of course, I will.”

“Thank you, my friend,” he gasped out in pain as his breathing slowed and the life left his body. Sirius sniffed as a great wave of sadness crashed against him and he closed Johnathan’s eyes so now it only looked like he was merely sleeping. Sirius made a mental note to bury him when the fighting was over.

Rage filled Sirius’ chest as he saw red and he swore that he would find the man who had killed his friend. Sirius cut down many men and anguished cries filled his ears but he didn’t flinch as he once did. For the first time since the fighting began, the sun peeked over the mountains and filled the battlefield with watery winter sunlight. The mere sight of it filled Sirius with hope, hope that he would get back to his wide and he’d be able to see his child grow up.

That night when Sirius entered the war tent, he found that James was smiling brightly, he looked like a young God as the light bounced off his golden crown, “the Scots aren’t here, I think we’ve been lured into a trap but we can win Sirius.”

Sirius’ eyes widened and it felt like all his dreams had come true, “it was Malfoy who told us of the Scottish presence. Where is he?” Sirius wondered whether Malfoy had been a traitor among them and had tried to lure them off to their deaths. Whatever the truth was, it was definitely suspicious.

James shrugged, “I honestly couldn’t care less.”

When the rest of the army realised that the Scots – or Lord Voldemort – weren’t going to show up, it filled them with new hope and they began to fight tooth and nail. They fought so fiercely that in hundreds of years, songs and stories would be told of this day. Till the end of history would this day be sung of. It would be the stuff of legends and Sirius doubted that the mighty King Arthur had fought so well.

“They’re retreating like the cowards they are!” James yelled gleefully after hours of brutal fighting.

Sure enough, ahead of them men were retreating, led by a man in a mask and Sirius wondered if it was Lord Voldemort. Though, he couldn’t find it in his heart to care, he was just so glad that this battle was finished, even though he knew the threat was not yet defeated and there was still the Scottish to worry about.

But, he was going home, even if Johnathan couldn’t be at his side, he couldn’t tell Sophia that he loved her himself, he would be remembered. All Sirius wanted to do was ride all the way back to the palace, to his wife’s arms but of course he couldn’t do that yet. As the men celebrated, Remus turned to Sirius with a grin, dozens of cuts littering his young handsome face.

“Where is Johnathan? He should be celebrating with us! I like that man.”

Sirius’ face dropped and he felt hot tears pricking behind his eyes, Johnathan couldn’t celebrate with them and he wasn’t coming home, “he’s dead, I held him as he died,” Sirius’ voice broke,

Remus sighed mournfully as he pulled Sirius into a hug, “I’m so sorry, I know how much he meant to you. We’ll have a funeral for him and he’ll be remembered as a hero.”

Remus was true to his word, Sirius and his friends buried Johnathan – and all those who had fallen. Johnathan’s funeral was beautiful; James said a few words for him as did Sirius, who knew him best. On the day that they buried Johnathan, the sun come out and melted the snow and the river began running again. It gave Sirius hope that better days were coming. He knew that better days were coming.

Sirius was in high spirits as the army began the trek back home and he joined in with the triumphant bawdy songs. He grinned at those who remained those who would see the people they loved again. He thought of Y/N every second of the way, he was going to sleep in her warm comforting arms for a whole month and nobody would be able to stop him.

---------------------------------------------------

It had been two weeks, two whole weeks since your love had gallantly rode off to battle and you were missing him terribly. You had vivid dreams about him every night, and in those dreams you were happy but that happiness was shattered when you woke up with a broken heart when your beautiful husband wasn’t lying next to you.

He was your anchor, you had shared so many experiences with one another, it felt like you were a widow already but you wouldn’t think about that. Even though, you had heard no news of the battle. Though, you weren’t the only one who was feeling lost, Lily waited for her King and Sophia paced around your chambers with a nervous look on her face as she held her stomach.

“It’s going to be okay you know,” you smiled at the pretty girl as you knitted baby clothes by the warmth of the fire, “they’ll come home safe,” you tried to convince yourself of that too. There could be no alternative; you didn’t even want to think about it.

Sophia shot you a nervous smile, “it’s not just that,” she sighed, biting her lip, “I suppose that I should tell you, word will travel fast when the army return for the victory feast,” she took a deep breath as you frowned at her words, “the father of my baby is King Francis.”

“Sophia, I…” you trailed off, gobsmacked and hurt that your dearest friend had lain with the man who had threated your child. The only sound in the room was the crackle of the roaring fire.

“At the summit, when you were with Lily, he came by to apologise to you for being rude. He saw that I was upset and he comforted me. I wrote to him and he bids me to come to court as his mistress.”

“Do you want that?” you asked weakly as you found your voice, you were utterly shocked at this news.

Sophia shrugged as she played with her fingers, “I’d be ruined here when people find out, France will be the safest place for me and my child. He was a kind lover,” her eyes welled up, “I know that I’ve shamed you.”

You shook your head as her voice broke and you pulled her into a hug, “you could never shame me, if this is what you want that I’ll support you,” she was right, France would be the safest place for her and you couldn’t be angry at her for wanting to keep herself and her unborn child safe, “I’ll miss you,” you teared up, your heart feeling heavy, “can I persuade you to stay until I give birth? I want you by my side, Sirius and I will see to it that you get safe passage to France.”

Sophia pulled away from you and she smiled kindly as she took your hands in her soft ones, “of course, it would be an honour to attend you in your birthing bed. Thank you, Your Highness.”

The two of you warmed yourselves by the fire and Sophia told you stories of what the King was like and what she imagined his court to be like. She looked so happy that you had to support her decision even if it killed you to hand her over to France. You talked with her for a couple of hours before a trumpet was blown outside and Sophia looked at you with sparkling, happy eyes.

“That means that the army has returned!”

You gasped, your heart felt impossibly light, your husband had come home – you hoped – and without another word, you picked up your skirts and hurried onto the front lawn. The King was riding at the front of the company and you heard Lily squeal in delight before she ran to him, and you knew that Sophia was looking for Johnathan. Your heart stopped when you looked behind James and saw him, he looked so beautiful and gallant.

You watched him as he dismounted his horse and at once you ran into his arms, you never thought that you’d see him again or feel his warmth around you. Sirius chuckled as he lifted you off the ground and spun you around. You pulled your head away from his neck long enough to look at his handsome face, his eyes were soft as he gazed at you but you could tell that in their depths he felt haunted. You gently trailed your fingers over the bloody cuts on his face before leaning down to kiss him desperately. Sirius put you down as he kissed you back, clutching you desperately as his tongue dived into your mouth.

“I missed you so much,” he spoke in between kisses.

“I missed you too,” you stroked your thumbs against the hollow of his cheeks, “I’m so glad that you’ve come back to me. I love you.”

“I promised, I love you too,” he smiled as he pressed his forehead against yours.

Later that night, you were wrapped up in each other’s arms; it was obvious by the look on Sirius’ face that he didn’t want to talk about the battle so you didn’t ask him. He had been so brave but you wished that he didn’t have to be, you couldn’t lose him, it must have been so horrible for him. The only thing that Sirius had told you of the battle was the fact that Johnathan died in his arms. Sophia sobbed when Sirius told her the news and she sobbed even more when Sirius told her that Johnathan loved her and she was the last thing that he thought of.

Sirius huffed out a laugh as you leaned forward and lovingly kissed every single cut on his chest before you placed a kiss over his beating heart which jumped beneath your lips. You smiled as Sirius’ fingers dived into your hair, “you were all I thought about when I was away, every day I fought to come home to you.”

Your eyes teared up as you felt an overwhelming wave of love for the stunningly handsome man that was at your side, “I thought about you too, I dreamt of you every night, wishing you were here with me. Thank you for coming home to me, to us, thank you for keeping your promise,” tears fell down your cheeks as Sirius kissed your forehead.

“You don’t have to thank me my love, I keep the promises that I make, no matter what happens, I will always come home to you,” his thumbs wiped away your tears as he pulled you in for another kiss, resting his hands on your stomach.

You didn’t know what you would do without him, you knew that you could never love another, and you thanked God that he was home with you.

---------------------------------------------------

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alphardblacks · 3 years

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alphard black, the brightest of stars in the noble, ancient house of black — his story, in a post.

alphard was born in the may of 1927, in the month of springs last darling, marking hope for the winters end, to pollux and irma black. he had an elder sister, walburga, and a younger brother, cygnus. he was sorted into slytherin house in the september of 1938, with tom riddle.

on the way to hogwarts, he befriended the said young tom riddle. he was quiet and silent, and he seemed unfamiliar with the ways of the wizarding world. it was alphard who educated tom on the great wizarding families - something his parents had instilled in him from a young age.

it didn't take long for the young alphard to find his way. with his elder sister in the year above at school, he did his best to maintain his image. however, he soon shed it to play for slytherin in the quidditch team. his tastes were more active than academic.

one of the acquaintances he kept throughout hogwarts was tom riddle. as the boys became older, they became closer. he told tom of the history of the wizarding world, and the noble families, though he himself had no care for the subjects the strange boy wanted to explore so much.

when tom attends a quidditch match begrudgingly, he sees alphard in a new light. he's fascinated in ways men usually were not fascinated with each other - he had never known an emotion like it. it seemed as though alphard felt the same, but they kept it secret.

alphard finds that by his final year at hogwarts, he has fallen deeply for tom. and tom realises that being with alphard is the closest he would ever feel to experiencing love. alphard didn't worship tom the way the others did. they were equals. but alas; they could never be.

but toms heart grew darker and his ideas for the future became too much for alphard to bear. each day he was less of the man he loved. alphard confronts tom about this, and in a rage, tom tells him they can never be together regardless, because of society, so he will not change.

alphard leaves hogwarts to take part in the war effort, to distance himself from the wizarding world that tom was infiltrating and slowly disrupting. whilst the other soldiers discussed their future wives and children, he could only think of the life he would never have with tom.

alphard was involved in a battle that left him injured, and news spread to his family that he was dead, including tom riddle. this loss is what makes tom snap, and his spree of killings worsen. by the time alphard recovers, the pain of what tom has done is too much to bear.

when he returns, and despite his family's wishes, alphard never marries. he could never live a lie with a woman and could never live in happiness with a man. he never has children but adores his nephews and nieces - particularly sirius and regulus.

living with the blacks was terrible for sirius and regulus, and if it hadn't been for uncle alphard, they would live their lives in uncomfortable solitude, with suppressed personalities in order to be deemed "proper". with alphard, they were free, and for the first time, happy.

walburga detested her boys being around what she deemed "muggle activities". alphard, being in the war, had picked up much of these, and showed them to his nephews. the nephews would visit him over summer and inspect his medals, whilst he told the in awe pair his war stories.

a core memory for the boys was alphard taking them to muggle london; buying sirius his first record from a stall, showing regulus muggle books like treasure island. he takes them to see movies, and the boys were too giddy to stay silent, though had to remain proper at home.

often, he would find the boys in their room at his estate, battling with sticks and pretending to be "spartacus". regulus particularly enjoyed their re-enactments of "a hard days night", where he would play ringo and pretend to drum for hours.

and as a young child, little regulus had been inspecting alphards hogwarts memories when he smashed a photo of him, and a young man, side by side. of course, as he always did, sirius told him to run upstairs, often taking the blame to spare his little brother from the rod.

fear filled sirius' heart, thinking of his punishment when alphard has turned the corner to inspect what happened. "i'm sorry uncle alphard!" he blurted out, too used to his mother and fathers cruel ways, and their punishments.

however, the emotion on alphards face was not anger, but worry. "did you hurt yourself? there's glass everywhere ..." for the first time sirius had experienced, alphard looked at him with a smile, and ruffled his hair. "don't be sorry, my boy. it's easily fixed."

tears filled the child's eyes, and he hugged the man tightly; he had never heard those words before. he had never hugged anyone before. his uncle embraced him tightly, protectively, and sirius knew that he would never be unloved so long as he had his uncle.

when sirius was sorted into gryffindor, he was full of terror. but his monthly letters from uncle alphard were full of encouragement; encouragement that made him accept his difference to his family. he questioned his family and their beliefs.

but when sirius matures more, he starts noticing that his feelings for his friend remus were changing. not friendship - something more. something strange. he knew that even the muggles didn't accept this sort of thing. he was broken, just like the picture. what would he do?

he and the marauders had snuck firewhiskey from a teachers office and in the heat of the moment, he kisses remus. he's in shock when moony kisses him back. when the firewhiskey wears off, he feels mortified that he would do such a thing. his family would hate him.

he's utterly terrified. one summer break, he lets it slip accidentally to alphard. he knows that this would be the end of his happiness with his uncle, and he would be sent away. his uncle merely smiled, and told him he couldn't be fixed.

because just like him, he wasn't broken.

and with this, sirius has fully bloomed into his true self. no longer does he sit and let slytherins talk ill of muglgeborns. he challenges his family. he challenges his mother. he becomes everything that alphard is proud of, and walburga detests.

when sirius is kicked out, alphard welcomes him with open offers and arms, though his nephew had flew the best and grown up; going to james instead. dear little regulus, on the other hand, is distant and colder, and alphard worries deeply for his dear nephew.

due to sirius' boisterous nature, his mother worsens her destructive attitude on regulus. he falls in with difficult crowds. no longer is he duelling as spartacus, but learning curses. the only drumming beat was his terrified heart when he was first recruited.

tom riddle is still a looming threat, and alphard knows it. he's still believed to be dead and he doesn't want to reach out. when sirius joins the order, he supports his nephew - they're the only hope. he would rather see tom destroyed than the evil man he had once loved.

despite all this, alphard still holds deep feelings for his former lover. deep feelings he could never let go of. as if he clung to the hope that tom could change.

until, during dinner, one night, he sees a dark mark on his little nephews arm that makes his blood run cold.

alphard and his pleading with regulus to get away from tom is the final push for the boy. he implores regulus to choose a better path, he is not a bad person, and he is not a death eater. this is what drives regulus and his sacrifice for the locket. uncle alphard was never wrong.

alphard blames himself for the loss of regulus. his little nephew; the baby boy he once held when walburga detested the sight of her 'sickly' little baby. he's a broken man. the beloved boy he had once loved like his own son was no more. because he couldn't protect him.

meanwhile, peter tells voldemort of his plans to betray the potters. that sirius would be perfectly set up, and even his uncle couldn't support his case. voldemort freezes when he hears the name; the name he hadn't heard since he went by "tom". alphard was alive.

for a moment, peter sees something flicker in toms eyes. even bellatrix notices the beat in the conversation. all those years he had grieved for alphard in the most wicked way. rage consumed him. he would destroy the potters, and the wretched black nephew alphard loved so dearly.

the broken alphard sits, in solitude; writing his will and leaving his fortune to young sirius, in the hopes that the fight would continue on. he knew he was destined to end this way. no happy ending. he pays one final visit to a former friend.

his former lover.

"all those years wasted, fighting opposite sides - and here we are, having precious few moments back. we could've ruled together, the two of us. i wanted you by my side.

goodbye, old friend."

if you've made it this far, thank you for reading my rambling headcanon on alphard black. three cheers for the best uncle in the world, and remember to stan tomphard.

(thread credit: narcissariddles on twitter)

#harry potter #alphard black #tom riddle #tomphard #serpentstar #wolfstar #remus lupin #sirius black #regulus black #harry potter headcanon #headcanon #marauders #all the young dudes #atyd

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