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luna-nigthshade-wood · 5 months

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What they don´t know, will hurt them

Summary: Dean Winchesters attempts suicide on a dirty motel bathtub, ending brain dead on a hospital. A trickster promises John and Sam that he will save him for “free”, as long as they both get through watching a series of Dean´s memories, good and bad. The twist is that they will feel everything Dean did at the time and they can stop it at any time, but then Dean will die. They both accept thinking it cant be that bad. Spoiler: it is worse.

Chapter 34

Sometimes Sam wonders how he could have been so blind? How was he so oblivious as to not notice his brother´s struggles and sacrifices? How was he so naïve to believe Dean´s excuses? Because yeah, maybe Dean didn’t want him to know and perhaps he was too young back then, but he never once wondered why his brother´s frame was so thin after they reunite again, he never once wondered how his brother have obtained the money he had without a stable job. At the very least, he should have paid more attention at Dean´s reckless disregard of his own life, and now they are paying the price,

John doesn’t even try to delude himself in thinking that the next memories are going to be easy. There might be good moments but all of them are going to be bittersweet when he knows the outcome. Every memory they see is one moment less that Dean is alive. He was never once for chess (or board games in general), that didn’t stop his father trying to teach him when he was younger and to be fair he learned some things; one of them was a german term named Zugzwang when no matter what movement the player makes the outcome is the same. It involved more, John knows, but that is the gist of the term, and John wonders if perhaps just like in chess, they won’t be able to change the outcome once they reach the end.

The screen turns on once more, this time showing a memory of Dean waking up as soon as “Sam” enters their motel room. Sam thinks it is unfair that the only time that Dean seems to not have the weight of the world in his shoulder is when he is asleep. There is suddenly worry in the air as Dean starts questioning “Sam”

-You still having nightmares about Jess?- Dean asks

-Yeah- “Sam” confesses- but it is not about just her is about everything. I have forgotten how this job gets to you

-You cant let it. You cant bring it home- Dean answers with a tender but shaky voice as he takes a sip of his coffee

-So what this never keep you up at night? You are never afraid?

-Not really- Dean answers quickly, tone firm but insincere. “Sam” just huffs as he pulls out the knife Dean keeps under his pillow. And well, the Grammy to worst parent ever goes to him, doesn’t it?, John thinks. What kind of parent takes their son into such a dangerous life? What kind of father teaches their son to always keep a weapon at ready?

On the screen, the brothers´ conversation is interrupted by Dean´s phone ringing. Dean answers the phone and the man on the other end of the line identifies himself as Jerry a man that John and Dean had previously helped with a poltergeist. John isn’t ashamed to admit that he doesn’t remember the man until the guy gives more detail but Dean only gets confused a second before clear recognition hits his face. Jerry tells Dean that he needs to talk to him about a case, so the brothers pack up their things and head towards him.

As they arrive, Jerry directs them towards his office, while making small talk and Sam cant help but let out a mirthless chuckle as he hears the man saying his dad was proud of him, that doesn’t quite sit well with John, because he says

-What is so funny?- John asks his younger son

-Nothing its just, c´mon- Sam answers- “Your dad is proud of you”, we both know better- he scoffs

-I am proud of you- John tells him

-Well, you had a funny way of showing it- Sam says, tears pooling in his eyes- Besides, after what happened, I don’t think I deserve it. Dean is the son you should be proud of

-I admit that it was one of my worst moments, but my failures as a father doesn’t mean that I cant recognize your achievements- John says with raw honesty, he will be damned if he messes this up again- I do think you made some questionable choices lately but it will be hypocrite of me to judge you for them, when I am even more at fault. I can and am proud of both of the men your brother and you become and it is one of my biggest regrets that it took until now for me to be able to tell you and that I wasn’t able to tell Dean before this happened- Sam looks at his father full on crying and John reaches out and gives him a one arm-hug, it last less than a minute but for a minute something heals inside them. (Upstairs, inside an archangel pile of hugs, something heals inside of Dean too)

The scene continues, with Jerry presenting the Winchesters with some evidence found at the site of a plane crash. The man plays an audio telling the hunters that he suspects something supernatural took the plane down. The brothers agree to investigate the issue. They theorize as to what could have being the cause of the crash before going to talk to the survivors. One of them, Max, is the first on the list as they found out that he committed himself to a mental hospital. Max seems reluctant to talk to them, but at the end, he confesses he saw one of the other passengers open up the emergency door, a man with black eyes. All color seems to left, John´s face as he hears that piece of information, of all the supernatural beings why did it have to be a demon?

The interrogation to the passenger´s widow doesn’t get them any leads, so they decide to go and check the parts of the wreckage (with fake Homeland security badges of course).

The brothers enter the hangar, where the pieces are and Dean takes out something from his pocket

-What is that?- “Sam” asks

-It´s an EMF meter. Reads electromagnetic frequencies- Dean answers

-Yeah, I know what an EMF meter is. But why does that one looks like a busted up Walkman?

-Because that is what I made off. It is homemade- Dean tells him with pride in his voice. Pride that quickly disappears with “Sam´s” next words

-Yeah, I can see that- “Sam” scoffs as he walks away, missing the hurt in Dean´s face before his brother manages to school his features. The Sam watching feels like the biggest asshole on the planet, seriously why did he have to be such a condescending asshole all the time?

The boys continue to investigate and John cant help but feel proud as Dean´s EMF meter proves to be functional. Dean discovers an strange substance in one of the pieces of the plane and “Sam” takes some to investigate later. It seems their evidence is found on time because a second later the brothers hear footsteps approaching and they have to make a run off it.

They take the residue back to Jerry who tells them it appears to be sulfur. Dean and “Sam” rightfully assume that as improbable as it seems they appear to be dealing with a demonic possession. They go back to their motel room to do some research, finding little to no evidence to back them down. Nervousness starts to fill the room the more the brothers search, with Dean proclaiming that demons aren’t their normal gig, both brothers wishing their father was there, though John doesn’t think he would have been of much help, right now the only thing he can think off that he probably would have done is removing his sons of the case and probably passing it down to someone else (read: Bobby).

The tension is the room is cut by Dean´s phone ringing, with Jerry informing Dean that the pilot, the one that survive the initial crash, had just being in another plane crash, this one proving fatal. The brothers go investigate the scene, finding sulfur once more on the place of the crash. They regroup with Jerry once more, finding that the connection of both crashes was that they went down exactly 40 minutes after taking off, with Dean aptly commenting about the Biblical numerology behind said number. With that clue, “Sam” is able to find records of another six plane crashes matching their search parameters, leaving them to conclude the demon is going after the survivors, with the flight attendant, Amanda, being the next on the list.

Dean manages to get them both at the airport in record time with 30 minutes to spare. John can’t help but be impressed at Dean´s quick thinking first by calling Amanda and then by him going with the flow trying to get her off the plane. Sadly, the plan doesn’t work, and the boys are left scrambling for a plan B

-For the love of everything that is holy, please tell me you two didn’t board a plane that was set to crash- John asks his younger son, clutching his arm seat, with Sam´s only answer being a sheepish smile

On the screen, “Sam” tries to convince Dean to board the plane:

-Dean, the plane is leaving with over a 100 passengers on board and if we are right that plane is going to crash- “Sam” says- So we got in the plane, find the demon an exorcise him, alright? Are you okay? What´s wrong? - “Sam” asks seeing his brother nervousness

-No, not really- Dean answers twitching, anxiety filling the room- Well, I kind of have a problem with, hmm…

-Flying? - “Sam” asks

-It’s never really been an issue until now

-You are joking, right?

-Of course I am not joking. Why do you think I drive everywhere, Sam? - Dean asks, taking short breaths between words.

-All right, I will do it myself

-What? Are you nuts???- Dean exclaims, the anxiety of the room making John and Sam tremble in their spots- You say it yourself the plane is going to crash

- We can do it together; I can do it myself. There is no third option here- “Sam” calmly says, before the scene cuts to black. John gives his younger son a look hoping to convey what he thinks of his plan

The next scene starts with the brothers getting into the plane with just a few seconds to spare. They find their seats easily, but Sam cant help but notice everything he ignored the first time around, from where he is watching he can see Dean´s pale face and shaking form, and he feels like an asshole for being unable to come up with a different alternative that didn’t involve getting his brother inside a probably crashing plane.

The plane takes off and Dean starts to hums Metallica to calm himself down, and based on what his family is feeling, he is not succeeding. “Sam” manages to distract Dean as they theorize who the demon might be possessing, with them suspecting Amanda. Dean gets up to try an assessed the girl, shaky steps all the way.

Dean talks to the stewardess and determines she is not the one possessed. He goes back to “Sam” and manages to sit down before they hit turbulence. Dean grabs his seat so tightly that his knuckles go white, with “Sam” trying to calm him down. “Sam” finds an exorcise to defeat the demon, but Dean points out they have to find the being first. Dean gets his EMF meter, that points to the copilot of the flight, and John is going to have a heart attack because of course one of the persons responsible to pilot the plane is going to be the one possessed.

Dean decides to tell the truth to Amanda, with “Sam” reluctantly following and with only a few minutes, they manage to convince her of the truth and to call the copilot to the back of the plane.

What follows next is the stuff of John´s nightmares as the boys manage to subdue the demon and recite the first part of the exorcism before the plane plummets off the air. Sam is not fairing any better, and the nausea he is feeling from Dean is not helping matters. There is a strong pain in their backs, and that is all the warning they get as Dean is push into one of the walls, the young hunter trying to grab himself from any part of the plane before everything goes back to normal, and the scene cuts to the boys getting safely into the airport.

The scene cuts once more and this time it shows the boys getting thanked by Jerry for helping, they are about to leave before Dean asks the man

-Hey, Jerry? I have been meaning to ask you, how did you get my number? - Dean asks

-I got it from your father- the man says

-You talked to him? - “Sam” asks

-Well, no, I called his cellphone and got his message saying to call you in case of emergency- Jerry answers- Anyways, thanks guys- he says before the scene cuts to black

And doesn’t that feels like one more punch in the gut for John? He doesn’t need to feel the hurt of Dean to know how much he had screwed up. “If you need any help, call Dean” what was he even thinking? Furthermore, what if the one needing help was his son? Was he supposed to call himself? No, John thinks, he didn’t once think of Dean or Sam when he decided to go off the grind, foolishly thinking his sons wouldn’t need him and perhaps he was correct, his sons didn’t need him, they had long ago learned that his father was never going to be there for them.

The screen lights up once again with “Sam” waking up from a nightmare as the brothers start their next case: a man killed inside his bathroom in a freak accident. Their first stop is at the coroner´s office to check the body, however they encounter some difficulties when the technician refuses to let them see the body, until “Sam” bribes him with Dean´s money. Anxiety starts to creep inside the Winchesters as Dean scoffs on the screen seeing the money his brother is offering and the Sam watching feels all blood leave his face for being so careless

-Dude, I earned that money- Dean says trying to get his brother to understand, “Sam” however doesn’t care, and walks off following the technician

And well, isn’t that great?, Sam thinks, I am once more spending my brother´s money without thinking about how he gained it, and invalidating his concerns about our finances without contributing a cent

John tries to remain calm in his seat, he is sure Dean wouldn’t risk offering his services at this time, right?

The scene continues as the tech tell them that the man´s eyes liquefied. They discussed some possible causes, none of them sounding convincing to the hunters, so they decide to head over the victim´s house to talk to his daughter. While talking to her, her little sister tells them is her fault, because she said the Bloody Mary curse three times in a mirror, before her dad died.

John wants to scold the little kid for being so dumb, kid should have known better, and then again Dean shows why he is a better hunter and human being all together by comforting the girl and reassuring her it wasn’t her fault as her father never even utter the words.

The brothers search the house for any evidence, discussing the possibility of the legend being truth, getting caught by one of the sister´s friend, and managing to get away from her. They go to the library to investigate more about the town´s lore, with little success.

The scenery changes this time showing Dean watching over a sleeping “Sam” inside their motel room, books scattered all over. The Winchesters feel a wave of resentment, as Dean watches the prone figure of his brother, before it is quickly stomp out. “Sam” makes some movement in his sleep and Dean is suddenly fill with shame tinted with love and devotion towards his brother, he approaches the bed, sitting beside “Sam”, before tucking him in and saying

-Don’t worry, Sammy- Dean says- I will always protect you- he proclaims with a sad smile before taking his jacket and exiting the motel room, empty wallet left behind.

The scene shifts abruptly this time showing Dean outside a bar, getting manhandled by an older man, as the young hunter drops to his knees in front of him.

The scene speeds forwards a couple hours later, with Dean dragging himself to the room, barely stopping to leave a wad of cash in the table, that is clearly not from a single man, before directing himself to the bathroom and shutting the door behind him as the scene cuts to black

Sam manages to grab the trash can, before he loses his stomach. He cant believe what he is seeing. He thought that as he had reunited with his brother, Dean would have stopped turning tricks after all, he never once suspected a thing, but now, he cant help but realized what a fool he had been. Once again, he never once questioned how Dean obtained must of the cash he got, hell, he never once tried to help him pay for their lives on the road. A few tears fall from his eyes when he remembered how quickly Dean felt ashamed for his resentment towards him, his brother shouldn’t feel ashamed, his brother should be resentful, Dean has every right to hate him and yet, his brother never did, and how did Sam repaid him? Taking him for granted

John feels a couple of stray tears running through his face as he watches another man abuse his son. What exactly can he say that can make anything better? He failed his son a big way, and this is just another example of it. While he was hiding from his sons, playing house with Kate, his sons where on a wild goose hunt trying to find him, while he was taking Adam to school, Dean and Sam where taking cases that could have killed them, while he was sleeping in a warm bed, his oldest was offering his services to provide for Sam. He messed up and there is nothing he can do about it.

The scene continues after the Winchesters manage to regain some composure, with “Sam” waking up from a nightmare with Dean sitting beside him with books surrounding him. Dean tells his brother that he couldn’t find any lore that could explain what happened to the victims, the hunters theorize some more, before a call about another victim interrupts them.

The brothers go to meet with the friend they had interrogated before, where they explained her what they think is happening and asked for her help in investigating her friend´s death. They managed to sneak inside the house, finding evidence of a name on the back of the mirror. They do some more digging and they connect the name to a hit and run perpetrated by the girl a few years prior.

They access the Showmaker´s house and find the name of the victim´s late wife on the back of his mirror, the daughter tells them her mom overdosed before she quicks them out of her house.

Back at their motel room, Dean conducts a nationwide search trying to find the motive for the murders, with “Sam” theorizing that perhaps the spirit is punishing people with secrets related to the death of others. Dean manages to find information of the unsolved murder of Mary Worthington, who was found dead in front of a mirror with her eyes cut out.

The brothers travel to talk to the lead detective of the case. The detective shows them a report of the case, and tells them about the prime suspect of the case. He also tells them Mary was cremated and the mirror has been long returned to her family. They drive back to Toledo, with “Sam” calling the woman´s family to inquire about the mirror, only to find out it had been sold to an antique shop a few days’ prior the first death, with Dean theorizing that Mary´s spirit got caught up in the mirror as she died in front of it. Their musings get interrupted when they receive a call from the girl from earlier, Charlie.

Dean and “Sam” arrived at Charlie´s house, with the girl telling them that her friend said the words and now the ghost is tailing her. The boys cover all the mirrors inside her room to prevent Mary from killing her. Dean speaks softly to the girl, and asks her for her secret

-I had this boyfriend, and I really loved him, but he really scared me, you know?- Charlie says and Dean subtly nods his head as in telling her that he understands, and the Winchesters´ heart breaks a little remembering Lee, they both know exactly how Dean can relate and they feel terrible for it- We were at his house- the girl continues- and we got into this fight and I broke up with him and he said that he would kill himself if I left him. And then he did- the girl says before breaking into tears of guilt, with Dean reaching out for the girl and pulling her into a hug.

The scene shifts, with both brothers inside the Impala, as he drives, Dean says:

-You know that her boyfriend dying is not really Charlie´s fault, right?- the hunter says

-You know as well as I do that spirits don’t see shades of grey?- and wow did he actually say it so callously? Sam thinks after hearing himself- Charlie had a secret and someone died. That is good enough for Mary-“Sam” continues talking telling Dean that perhaps smashing the mirror wont be enough and that they need to summon Mary before so that they are sure it works

-And who is going to summon her?- Dean asks sarcastically, clutching the wheel tightly, and hey at least his oldest didn’t offer himself, right?

-It is going to be me. She will come after me- and screw it, after this is done John is going to have a serious conversation with his sons about being bait (and yes, he can totally see the irony in that statement)

-All right, you know what, that is it- Dean says, anger on his tone as he parks the car on the side of the road- This is about Jessica, isn’t it? You think this is your little dirty secret that you killed her somehow?- he asks his brother- Sam, this thing got to stop, the nightmares, the calling of her name in the middle of the night, it is going to kill you- Dean tells him worryingly- Now listen to me. It wasn’t you fault, you want to blame someone blame the thing that kill her. Hell, why don’t you take a swing at me, I dragged you away from her- Dean exclaims, and it hurts something deeply to the Sam watching to see his brother prepare himself from the hit that thankfully doesn’t come

-I don’t blame you- and at least that is true- I could have warned her- “Sam” says- I haven’t told you everything- “Sam” confesses

-What are you talking about?- Dean asks confused and hurt by his brother´s words

-Well, it wouldn’t really be a secret if I told you, right?- “Sam” asks

-No- Dean says fiercely- I don’t like it. It isn’t going to happen- he says protectively

-Dean if we don’t do it, that girl is going to die- “Sam” tells him, but seeing that that isn’t enough he pushes some by saying- And who knows how many more people- with that last sentence, Dean´s stance crumbles.

The brothers arrive at the antique shop where the mirror is and Dean´s nervousness is palpable at the room, John is not doing better by watching his sons in a shop full of mirrors. “Sam” manages to find the mirror and he chants the cursed sentence three times, a few seconds before police arrives at the place. Dean goes outside to distract the officers, coming up with a half decent excuse, his heart not at all in it, as the worry about his brother increases, before deciding to knock the officers down and returning to the store

Dean enters the store with caution and hears the ghost taunting his brother, there is disbelief as he hears the reflection telling “Sam” that he got Jessica killed, but Dean doesn’t stop to hear more and breaks the mirror before something more happens. There is worry and protectiveness filling him as he kneels down besides his brother, horrified at seeing the blood tracks coming from “Sam” eyes. Dean grabs “Sam” of the floor and they direct themselves towards the exit, before they hear some noise and turn around only to find May´s ghost exiting the broken mirror.

Sudden pain exploits behind John and Sam´s eyes as they watch the scene of the ghostly figure attacking Dean and “Sam”, the pressure is enormous and debilitating, which is more reason to be shocked as Dean powers trough and manages to gran another mirror, making the girl see her reflection and destroying the ghost, before the scene cuts once more.

The scene changes to the next morning with Charlie thanking the brothers for helping her and “Sam” telling Charlie it wasn’t her fault

-That is good advice- Dean says, before driving off- Hey, Sam, know that this is all over? I wanna know what that secret is about.

-I am your brother and I would die for you- “Sam” says- but there are some things I will keep for myself- he says, as the scene cuts to black.

And Sam, well, Sam feels like an asshole. He kept secrets from his brother, things that he should have been honest about, things that could have been detrimental to the YED search. He also feels his stomach drop at felling the worry coming from Dean. He had made his brother anxious, he had confused his brother´s protectiveness with nagging, and he had hurt his brother, once more, in the process.

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#supernatural #spn au #supernatural au #spn fic #supernatural fic #suicidal dean #dean winchester #sam winchester #john winchester #bad parent john winchester

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tsukki-bear · 3 years

Text

𝙩𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚

シ 𝘵𝘴𝘶𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘮𝘢 𝘹 𝘧𝘵𝘮 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

⚠︎︎𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴: 𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘣𝘪𝘢, 𝘣𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘵𝘴𝘶𝘬𝘬𝘪 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺: 𝘵𝘴𝘶𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘮𝘢 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘺/𝘯

𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵: 1.2𝘬

𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 @mexicanmartian

"hey! tsukki!" yamaguchi called, running to catch up with his best friend, "you know y/n that sits in the back of the class? well, we started talking today and he's really cool! i invited him to sit with us at lunch."

"who?" tsukishima asked, not recognizing the name.

"l/n. y/n l/n." yamaguchi replied, "he sits in the very back. he's really shy but once you get to know him he's great!"

tsukki searched his brain for any memory of the boy that yamaguchi was talking about. then it hit him, tadashi was talking about the cute boy in the back that never talked and always had his head down unless he was copying something from the board. tsukki smiled softly to himself as he listened to his green haired friend's rant about y/n's interests. maybe this y/n wouldn't be so bad to be friends with.

once they made it to the lunchroom, tsukki and yamaguchi sat in their usual seats. before long, the boy that tadashi had been telling tsukishima so much about was hesitantly walking towards them. he sat in front of the two boys, waving shyly. tsukki felt his heart leap softly, but immediately shook it off. he never was great at dealing with emotions.

"hey, y/n! this is tsukki! he's my best friend. he's mean sometimes but don't take it personally. he's like that to everyone." yamaguchi smiled.

"i'm not mean. you're just dumb." tsukishima replied nonchalantly.

"see?" the freckled boy gestured to his friend, making y/n giggle.

a couple of months passed and the three boys were practically inseparable. both tsukki and tadashi had helped y/n gain a lot of confidence. he had become almost as snarky as his tall blonde friend. everytime tsukki said something mean to him, y/n always had an amazing comeback up his sleeve. tsukishima had fun playing with him. he made it a lot more entertaining than yamaguchi.

"hey, pipsqueak, where are you going?" tsukki asked as they walked out of their classroom together.

"shouldn't you know my schedule by now, dumbass? i'm going to math." y/n playfully rolled his eyes, earning a light shove.

"i gotta go to the bathroom. see ya later, bitch." tsukki patted y/n's head, messing up his hair.

"cunt." y/n said quietly, smiling as he walked to his locker.

the boy had had a crush on kei since he first saw him. he was just so cool and confident, not to mention cute. y/n was just too shy to tell him. besides, tsukki never showed any interest in him beyond friends. y/n hated how his heart fluttered when they were together.

"hey, (dead name)." an unfamiliar voice spoke from behind y/n as he gathered his books.

turning around, he was met with two boys from his english class that he had never even spoken too. how did they find out? y/n transfered schools so that no one would know. how did they possibly find out?

"huh?" y/n tried to reply in a natural confused voice.

"we found out all about your little secret. lots of your old friends have loose lips." one of them said.

"what's your point?" y/n's voice was getting shakier.

tsukishima had came out of the bathroom and caught a glimpse of the two boys walking over to y/n and decided to listen in. he was confused, but waiting for y/n to defend himself just like he always does.

"my point is, you'll never be a real man. you're a girl and you can't change that." the other boy added.

y/n felt tears flood his eyes, trying his hardest to fight them away he answered them, "cant you just leave me alone?"

the two spoke some more but y/n didn't hear what they were saying. he was in disbelief that they had found out and trying to fight away his tears. tsukishima saw that his friend wasn't defending himself and the tears that were welling up had started to fall down his cheeks. the blonde boy felt his blood boil all of a sudden and he needed to protect y/n. stomping over to the three with a menacing look, the bullies backed away.

"leave him alone, you asshats." tsukki said angrily, yet calmly.

that was all it took for the boys to scramble away. y/n tried to wipe his tears away so that tsukki wouldn't see them, but he couldn't keep them from falling again. tsukki sighed and shoved both of their books in y/n's locker before taking his hand. he pulled the boy behind him, taking him to the volleyball club room.

"tsukki, we can't just skip class. i'm fine. besides, i'm not supposed to be in here." y/n protested as tsukki closed the door.

"you're not okay, y/n. you're still crying. i've never seen you like that. you always have a snarky comeback. what were they talking about anyways? what did they mean you'll always be a girl?" tsukki asked curiously.

"i'm trans, tsukki. i might as well tell you know since apparently everyone seems to fucking know. i switched schools for this exact reason and yet it somehow still caught up with me." y/n paced back and forth as he ranted.

tsukki stopped y/n by pulling him into a hug. he was caught off guard by the sudden affection but being in kei's arms made all of his worries fade away. tsukki felt as if his heart was melting as his friend clung onto him, crying into his shirt. he had pushed away his emotions for so long but he didn't think he could push them away anymore.

"don't listen to anything they have to say. you're more of a man then they'll ever be. you're such an amazing, funny, smart, handsome boy and i love you, y/n. i want you to be my handsome boy." tsukishima said before he even had time to think.

y/n looked up at him with teary eyes, "really?"

"yes, y/n. now say you'll be mine before i die of embarrassment." he replied, fighting the urge to kiss y/n right then.

"of course, tsukki! i love yo-" he was cut short by tsukki crashing their lips together.

"shit, i can't believe i forgot my phone in-"

tsukki and y/n separated only to see sugawara standing in the doorway. kei shoved y/n away in a panic, making y/n huff. sugawara chuckled softly and walked in.

"i forgot my phone in here. who's this, tsukki?" the older male asked as he walked over to where his phone was laying.

"uhh, this is y/n." tsukishima answered.

"your boyfriend?" suga questioned.

"yeah..." the blonde said hesitantly.

"nice to meet you, y/n. i'm koushi. i'm really surprised that he managed to get a boyfriend. you mean you actually like him?" the third year joked.

"i'm not sure why, if i'm being honest, but yeah. i do." y/n responded.

"alright, well, have fun kids!" suga waved as he walked out.

tsukki and y/n looked at each other, bursting into laughter. y/n threw himself back into tsukki's arms, wanting to stay there forever. the two swayed back and forth gently as they embraced each other. it would be worth skipping class, even if it meant getting detention.

#anime x male reader #haikyuu x male reader #tsukishima x male reader #tsukishima fluff #haikyuu x ftm reader #tsukishima x ftm reader #anime x ftm reader #tsukki fluff #tsukki x ftm reader #august writes #tw//transphobia

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lunas-criminally-writing · 2 years

Note

the "shoulder kisses"? 🥰

shoulder kisses coming right up! this one shot is not directly in correlation to written in the stars but it does include our happy couple Maggie x Spencer - hope you enjoy -

summary: after being married a little over two years - and knowing each other several more Spencer knew signs that Maggie was not herself. determined to figure it out he finds something he was not supposed to - but it was not what he thinks

triggers: mentions of the death of foyer, mentions of morning sickness / pregnancy, mention of maggie's suicide attempt in panic room,

🖤🖤🖤🖤

spencer paced around the room - quickly crossing from one side to the other before repeating the process. hands deep in his pocket clenched into fists - knuckles graze against the single paper littered with maggie's unique handwriting. the words burning in his memory with even needing to look at the letter again - before thinking his thin fingers uncurled from their fist pulling out the neatly fold piece of paper. caramel colored eyes read over the words once again.

angel -

where do i even begin - right i love you so much - i cant even to begin to describe how much to you. we have been through so much to get where we are - sometimes i wonder why you chose me to marry you - i was a mess when we met and still am. you have that effect on me - you make the butterflies go nuts in my belly. being married to you these two years have been the best of my life - you have began to heal this broken soul of mine. you saw me at rock bottom - refusing to leave my side. i am just hoping you wont leave it now.

spencer's eyes snapped hearing the front door of their little house open and shut - maggie and spencer has moved from their apartment to the new place about a year into their marriage - needing something more of a home to come back to after cases. slim fingers quickly refolded the piece of paper before placing it back into the pocket it once had been in.

"princess?"

maggie's heart raced hearing her angel call her princess - it felt like the first time all over. left hand fluttered to her sweatered belly as her wedding ring glittered in the night.

"its me, angel. i just got back from dad's"

a sigh of relief escaped spencer's thin lips - feet carrying him into the living room - where he saw maggie settling in the arm chair with a book - the outsiders - in hand. his mind raced through memories replaying the morning he found maggie there - drunk with a tear stained face, gun aimed at his heart - that evening he almost lost her forever. left hand moved to his hair - tugging on the shaggy brown curls on the top of his head as it moved.

"how is dad?"

maggie peeked up from the open pages of comfort in her lap to her fallen angel - her reason for living. chocolate brown eyes met caramel gold ones - trying to pick up the micro expressions hidden behind them. spencer only called his father in law - dad on few occasions - most when the anxiety was coursing through his veins.

"dad is doing great - so is jack. we had lunch at the little diner at the corner of the street - just us hotchners. i can't believe how big jack has gotten since i last saw him"

spencer forced himself to nod trying to remove the images that burned inside his brain. crossing the length of the living room - dropping into a kneel in front of the arm chair looking up. eyes falling to the little sparkling key at the base of maggie throat - her gift from george foyet - her uncle - just before she was forced to kill him. spencer never understood why she still wore the gift but never questioned it.

"that is good. i am glad you had fun. what else did you do?"

maggie grinned at spencer before pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. a small giggle escaping her lips - as she moved her face back - meeting his eyes again - her eyes twinkled happily.

"jack wanted to show me his video game so we played that for a bit before i broke away to talk to dad. you know after being an agent on his team - for two years - he is still worried about me getting hurt? the team is the best in the world - i am safe with you guys - always. i am not the little girl that i once was."

spencer's lips curled into a small smile as he took in her words - before the memories took over again. he saw aaron looking over his daughter in the hospital bed - bandages on her arms and hooked to several machines keeping her stabilized. maggie was his little girl always - whether she wanted to be. as the memory fade - spencer found his hand was pressed against his wife's warm cheek as she pressed her lips against it.

"you are his little girl - he has to worry about you - just like i worry about you, princess. it is our jobs."

maggie nodded softly against the hand against her cheek - humming in response - mind currently on something else. she was thinking about the little onesie in her purse - her dad has seen it - it was part of the reason for his now growing worry.

"mhm--"

spencer jumped back as maggie quickly moved passed him - rushing to the bathroom - hand pressed to her mouth. getting to his feet he followed closely - just as he was about to enter the bathroom to make sure she was okay - the door slammed into his face. looking at the closed door - his mind wondered to right before he found maggie in the bathroom bleeding out. breaking from the horrid thought - he heard maggie getting sick. hand moving to the door handle - he pushed the door opened - feet pulling him to his lover's side. worry increasing his hands moved to hold maggie's hair out of her face as she sat in front of the toilet - emptying her stomach - pressing his face to the back of her shoulder.

"maggie - are you okay? i am worried about you right now."

maggie could barely hear the words falling out of spencer's mouth but her mind still processed them. for as smart as spencer was - he could be really stupid sometimes. once she finished closing the lid of the toilet - she moved her body to face him - earning small protests from her angel for the lost of connection.

"angel - i am fine - i promise. nothing i can not handle - it is just a bit of morning sickness"

in that moment - spencer's whole world stopped - mind repeating the words his lover just spoke. his eyebrows furried together in thought - trying to figure out how he missed it. maybe he was just a little too worried that her note was a goodbye - not a happier note.

"morning sickness? wait - your pregnant! i am going to be a dad!"

maggie nodded gently - trying to make sure not to make herself sick again. using her left hand - she grabbed his left before placing it on her belly. a soft giggle fall from her lips - watching her husband in awe - trying to keep the pending tears from falling. this was her little family - her angel, their baby and her - perfect.

"yes you are spence - you are going to be a dad."

spencer moved quickly - not processing the moment until - he realized he was holding his wife in his arms. her head on his chest - hums coming from her lips - looking content. moving slowly this time - his face became tucked into the crook of her neck. tears falling from his caramel colored eyes - from happiness - he began pressing kisses along her neck repeating over and over

"i am gonna be a dad"

maggie held spencer in her sweatered arms - fingers rubbing his back - as she allowed him to process. she pressed her lip to his shoulder - the closet thing to his face she could get while his face was tucked into her neck - lingering.

"halloween baby"

#criminal minds #spencer reid #aaron hotchner #maggie hotchner #criminal minds fan fiction #original character #written in the stars maggie and spencer #spencer x oc #spencer reid fan fiction #spencer x maggie

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musubiki · 3 years

Note

Queen, you are so big brain, ugh I love your mind.....🥺🥺🥺 Catears and Mochi are otp....

Does Lime ever feel like he might get caught if he shows too much concern or worry for Mochi to where she is just like, "bro??? Who are you and why do you care."

And there is that cute...angry confession scene...ugh sorry for all the asks, I just love your ocs so much and your taste in troupes is what I adore and live for.

waah thank you!!! im super duper happy when people ask about my ocs cuz i can talk about them a lot!! 😭😭

and HE DOES!! sometimes she calls him out on “why do you give a shit? why not just try to kill me like everyone else?” and he has to pause and remind himself oh shit, shes right once again, gotta be more cold. but its HARD FOR HIM!!! CUZ HE LOVES HER SO MUCH AND HES SO CONCERNED ABOUT HER SAFETY ITS DIFFICULT TO JUST TRY TO TURN IT OFF!!!!!!!!

and actually...theres not!! he never willingly tells her. its more like a scene where somehow, someone reveals mochis identity as the cat witch to the WHOLE Underground. and shes up shits creek with a small paddle, surrounded in an unfamiliar realm with hundreds of magical beings ALL TRAINED FIGHTERS who now want her dead, and limes not there (or at least not to her knowledge), and when the big fight starts, cat-ears defends her. at first shes like why?? but what the hell its an extra pair of hands so she doesnt waste time questioning it!! only when the situation gets really dire, that he pulls out the thunderbat to fight and shes like. wait.

because either 1) he somehow mimicked the thunderbat, stole it from lime, or somehow had an identical weapon, or 2) this IS lime. and the dots just slowly connect in her head regarding how he acted towards her and all the excuses he made not to come with her to the Underground. anyway, lime with the thunderbat is damn near unstoppable (especially with taffy there for the water + electricity duo, which he is), so they make it out of there fine!!!

but post-fight, lime is yelling at taffy and coco (still disguised as cat-ears), shouting something about doing a better job protecting their witch, and coco shouts back something snarky about how she cant believe he did this blah blah blah, meanwhile mochi is standing there listening in silence. finally taffy clears his throat LOUDLY and kind of nod nods toward mochi, hint hint, shes standing right there. coco does that meme of the monkey doll looking away and backs up. this aint her problem no more, limes on his own.

so they stand in silence for a bit, and mochi just softly says “...lime?” and hes ALSO quiet for a bit, and through that aforementioned scratchy coarse fucked up voice he has as cat-ears he says “hi moch.”

and then she SLAPS him again sending his helmet spinning, and of course his reaction is “OW HEY WHAT THE FUCK!!” and he rips his helmet off, and for some reason seeing his FACE, confirmed, for real under there, she SLAPS HIM AGAIN!!! its a lot of (i cant believe he LIED TO ME and ACTED SO COLD TO ME and was DOING ALL THIS DANGEROUS STUFF BEHIND MY BACK) and she lowkey had big crocodile tears swelling up, stomps off quietly, and lime goes after her with the whole “wait WAIT MOCHI I CAN EXPLAIN-”, also yelling back at taffy and coco to clean up the big mess they left behind (and by clean up i mean go take mochis hundreds of memory spell tags and wipe the memories of everyone down there to keep mochis identity hidden)

LONG POST THAT I PROBABLY TALKED A LOT ABOUT BEFORE A FEW TIMES BUT I LIKE THIS SCENE IN PARTICULAR!!!!!!!

#mochi and cat-ears is chefs kiss actually #god i love the whole....secret identity lime...#cat-ears isnt like a different personality for him or anything #he act like lime as cat-ears to everyone else but mochi because she would know if he did #bpp #anyway. love them v much #my favorite scene is 1. him pulling out the thunderbat and it being like. oh...#and 2. when she says his name softly and yeah its him. he says hi softly back and it immedately descends into comedic violence again #THANKS FOR SENDING THESE ASKS I LOVE TALKING ABOUT MY OCS!!!!#since ill never get around to drawing all this stuff

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themetaphorgirl · 4 years

Text

I asked for cute and cuddly things so I could write something adorable!! I tried to combine as many as possible!

@therestisconfettis : “the psolc babies making a pillow fort!!”

@birds-are-better-than-you : “My brain immediately goes to people actually listening to him talk instead of cutting him off, but thats just rooted in sadness”

@fragolinaa : “I just want people cuddling him, maybe someone who hasn't yet like Emily or Dave?”

@purpleturtle31extra : “Spending an off day exploring music together! Like showing him songs that remind you of him or a certain memory..”

anonymous: “cute cuddly idea: u mentioned Emily and Dave getting Spencer legos. Write a little thing of a rainy day or whatever and everyone’s just chilling building random shit with legos and then there’s gonna be Spencer actually building something with proper ratios and actual potential urban planning and everyone else is just like “hmm... I have built something vaguely resembling a plane”

anonymous: “omg cuddly mom alex?? maybe spencer napping with her and he has a nightmare??”

I hope I touched on everything!! I think I captured at least a little bit of everything!!!

----------

“Hey,” Emily said. “Are you feeling okay?”

Spencer dragged his fork around his plate, his chin resting heavily in his hand. “I’m not hungry,” he said dully.

“This is your last day to eat whatever you want,” she pointed out. “Go get something sugary. Donuts or something.”

He shrugged, and she bit back a sigh. Everyone else had left on Wednesday afternoon to spend Thanksgiving break with their respective families- literally everyone, even Hotch- and while they’d had a nice Thanksgiving at James’s house, and she was enjoying having her room all to herself, she and Spencer had been left behind, and the kid was moping like it was his job. She was starting to figure out that while he liked doing things on his own, he needed the security of knowing that everyone else was nearby.

“I guess I’ll go get some chocolate milk or something,” Spencer sighed, sliding down from his chair.

“See? There you go,” she said. “Treat yourself.”

As soon as he slid down from his chair and trudged away she pulled out her phone.

the cause of hotchner’s headaches

9:09am

You guys need to help w the kid hes so sad i dont know what to do

James texted back first, which didn’t surprise her.

doctor james, medicine man

9:10am

Is he okay?

the cause of hotchner’s headaches

9:10am

HES SAD I CANT HANDLE IT COME HELP ME

spaghetti grandpa

9:11am

He’ll be fine. He knows everybodys coming back today right?

the cause of hotchner’s headaches

9:12am

HE IS SAD NOW COME OVER

She set her phone aside as Spencer walked back up to the table with a carton of chocolate milk in his hands. “Can you open this for me, please?” he asked.

She did and handed it back, but he didn’t drink it. “How about we go watch a movie or something?” she suggested. “While we’re waiting for everybody to get back on campus. That’ll be fun, right?”

He shrugged. “I guess,” he said. “What time is it?”

“A little after nine.”

He scrunched up his face, calculating. “Who do you think will be back first?” he asked.

“I don’t know, babe, we’ll have to see,” she said. “Drink your milk and we’ll get out of here.”

He sighed. “I don’t think I want it anymore,” he said. She shot him her best impression of Alex’s mom look. He rolled his eyes, but he drank it anyway.

Outside the dining hall it was cold and gray and dreary, rain falling just steadily enough to be irritating. She pulled the hood of her jacket over her head and made Spencer put his purple galaxy-print raincoat on over his his sweater before they walked down the steps.

“Do you think the weather will ground planes?” he asked anxiously.

“Your guess is as good as mine, squirt,” she said. “It’ll definitely rain all day, but I don’t know if it’ll affect planes. You’ll probably know better than me.”

He said nothing, but he slipped his small hand into hers. She squeezed back gently. The kid had been perfectly well-behaved the whole time she’d been left to watch him, but it was frustrating to see him so sad and quiet and droopy. She didn’t think it was possible to be homesick for other people, but Spencer definitely had a bad case of it.

They settled in the common room, but the cozy space seemed cavernous and empty without the rest of the group. Spencer left his coat and his shoes in his room and settled into Alex’s usual spot on the couch, leaning on the armrest.

“So what do you want to do, kiddo?” she said. He raised and lowered one shoulder. She huffed. “I’ll just pick something then.”

“Nothing scary, please,” he said, his chin resting on his folded arms.

“No, don’t worry, I learned my lesson,” she said. She grabbed a Star Wars off the shelf- she wasn’t sure which one it was, but she figured she couldn’t go wrong with something sci fi.

“Hotch’s plane lands at eleven, right?” he said as she plunked down on the opposite end of the couch.

“I think so,” she said. She reached over and ruffled his hair lightly. “Stop overthinking, you’re going to blow a fuse in there. Everyone will be home soon, don’t worry about it.”

“I’m not worried,” he mumbled.

They got about halfway through Star Wars (she still wasn’t entirely sure which one it was) when they heard Dave and James on the stairs. “Hey, guys!” Dave called. “We’ve got presents!”

Emily paused the movie. “What do you mean, presents?” she said. “What’d you bring me?”

James and Dave each held large plastic tubs that they dropped with heavy clatters on the floor. “Spencer, you’ve been having fun with the legos we got you for your birthday, right?” James said.

Spencer raised his head. “Yeah,” he said slowly.

“Well, we decided to dig around for our old lego collections you can have your own giant collection,” Dave said.

He slid off the couch. “Really?” he said.

“Yeah, absolutely,” James said. “Go get yours, we’ll put them all together.”

Spencer’s eyes lit up. “Okay!” he said, darting off to his room.

“Oh my god, thank goodness you two are here,” Emily said.

“You know, you said he was sad, and I didn’t believe it till I saw him,” Dave said, wrenching the lid off the first bin. “He looks like a deflated balloon.”

“See? I wasn’t lying,” Emily said. “Poor kid has been moping all week.”

James checked his phone. “Hopefully everybody will get in without any problems,” he said. “Alex texted me a little bit ago and said they delayed her flight by an hour.”

“Oh, yikes,” Emily said. “She’d better get back here soon. And don’t tell the kid that, he’ll worry more.”

Spencer ran back into the room with his legos. “How should I organize them?” he asked. “Color first or size first?”

“How about we, you know, build something?” Dave suggested as he sat down on the couch. “C’mere, passerotto, I think I have all the pieces to the batcave.”

“Ooh, which version?” James asked as Spencer sat down on the floor in front of Dave.

“I don’t know. I think I built it once when I was Spencer’s age and then never touched it again.”

Emily leaned over James and scooped up a handful of plastic pieces. “What are you going to build?” she asked.

“Hey, don’t copy me!”

They worked on their projects mostly in companionable silence, sometimes absent chatter. Rain continued to tap at the windows. At least Spencer seemed distracted at last, focused on his projects.

Lightning cracked, white light shining through the window for a brief moment, and everyone jumped; Spencer knocked over one of his structures. “Holy shit,” Emily said. “That was terrifying.”

“You okay?” Dave asked, touching Spencer’s arm lightly.

He nodded, leaning against Dave until he lifted him onto his lap. “Do you think everybody’s okay?” he asked. “Planes can’t always fly in this sort of weather.”

“I’m sure everybody’s fine,” Dave reassured him. Spencer bit his lip, still staring out the window. “So what have you been building?”

“Scale model of campus,” he said. “Well, it’s not exactly to scale. But it’s pretty close.”

James held up a lump of legos. “This was supposed to be a plane,” he said. “But it doesn’t look particularly aerodynamic.”

Spencer laughed. “What kind of plane is it supposed to be?” he asked. “It looks like an off-kilter Cessna.”

“I don’t know. Just...a plane,” James said.

“I’m trying to see how tall I can build this thing without it falling over,” Emily said. “Not much success yet.”

“I’m sure you know, caro,” Dave said, poking Spencer lightly in the side. “How tall is the tallest lego structure ever?”

“The tallest one is in Milan, it’s a hundred and fourteen feet, eleven inches tall,” he said. “The previous tallest was just a hundred and fourteen feet tall, in Budapest.”

“Milan, hm?” Dave said. “Maybe I’ll go see it next time I’m over there.”

“There’s one in Tel Aviv that was built to be four feet taller but-”

Lightning cracked again and Spencer jumped. Dave rubbed his back lightly. “It’s okay, it’s just a bad storm,” he said. It was too late, though- the attempts at distraction had failed, and Spencer was clearly back to worrying, the corners of his mouth tugging down.

Dave looked over at Emily. What should we do? he mouthed. She shrugged helplessly.

Thankfully, right at that moment heavy footsteps echoed on the stairs. Spencer raised his head. Please let it be one of our group, please let it be one of our group, Emily thought fervently.

A tall figure in a rain-soaked coat made it to the top of the stairs, almost terrifying for a split second, but he threw back his hood and shook his head. “Jesus, that was a nightmare,” he said.

Spencer scrambled to his feet and ran towards him, nearly kicking Dave in his haste. “Hotch!” he shrieked, throwing his arms around his waist.

“Hey, kiddo!” Hotch said, bending to hug him. “Hey, careful, it’s raining really hard out there, I’m drenched and I don’t want you to get wet.”

“How was your flight?” James asked.

Spencer, undeterred, still clung to Hotch; Hotch ran his fingers through his thick short curls. “Unbelievably shitty,” he said. “Flights were getting canceled left and right, it’s just storming bad everywhere. If I hadn’t gotten such an early flight, I might not’ve made it back.”

“That’s what we’ve been worrying about,” Emily said. “And when I say we I mean Spencer.”

Hotch tugged him back so he could see his face. “Hey, stop worrying,” he said. “Everybody will get back eventually. I promise.”

“I can’t help worrying,” Spencer said. “What if everybody’s flights get delayed? What if something happens to their planes. What if-”

Hotch scooped him up. “Hey, I think the dining hall’s open for lunch,” he said. “Anybody else hungry? I didn’t have time for breakfast before my flight and all they gave me was one packet of pretzels.”

“They stopped giving away peanuts because of allergies becoming more common,” Spencer said, leaning his cheek against Hotch’s shoulder even though his coat was soaked with rain.

“Yeah?” Hotch said. “How about you go get your coat and your shoes, okay? I’m starving.”

“Okay,” Spencer said reluctantly. Hotch set him back down on his feet and he ran down the hall to his room.

“I am so glad you’re back, Hotchner,” Emily said, sweeping her lego tower back into the bin. “He’s been so sad with everybody gone.”

“I can tell,” he said. “Has he been like this the whole time?”

“Oh, yeah,” Emily said. “I’ve barely been able to get two words out of him.”

“Even when they came over for Thanksgiving he wasn’t talking much,” James added.

Hotch sighed. “I didn’t even think about this,” he said. “Poor kid.”

Emily’s phone buzzed. “Oh, it’s Penelope,” she said. “I’ll put her on speaker. Hey, Pen, how’s it going?”

“Terrible!” Penelope said, her voice crackling over the line. “I made the flight from California to Texas for my layover, but they canceled my connecting flight. It’s storming too bad.”

“Oh, yikes,” Dave said. “Are you going to be okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” she sighed. “They have me booked for a flight first thing in the morning, and the airline is putting me up in a hotel for the night, but it’s so frustrating.”

“I’m sure,” James said. “Stay safe, okay? Do you need anything?”

“Are you kidding? The hotel has like a million channels and room service, I’m doing great!” Penelope said. “I’ll call you guys in the morning before my flight, okay? Talk to you soon!”

Emily sighed as the call ended. “Well, that’s one down,” she said.

“Penelope’s not coming?”

Spencer peeked out of the hall, his rainboots on and his coat dragging from his hand. “Yeah, her connecting flight got canceled,” Dave said. “But she’s safe, and she’ll be on a flight tomorrow, okay? So don’t worry.”

Judging by the way he pressed his mouth together, he definitely was worried. Emily pushed herself up from the floor. “Let’s go get lunch, okay?” she said. “Before Hotch starves.”

The rain had gotten decidedly worse, coming down in heavy sheets and flooding patches of the courtyard. Her umbrella helped a little but not much; Dave complained loudly the entire walk over. Spencer stayed glued to Hotch’s side, clinging tightly to his hand even once they made it to the warm safety of the dining hall.

Hotch pulled Spencer’s hood down as they got in line. “What do you want?” he asked.

“I’m not hungry,” he said.

He frowned, then covered Spencer’s ears. “Emily, be honest,” he said. “Did he eat while we were gone?”

“Not for lack of trying,” she said. “I kept putting shit on his plate and he barely touched it.”

“Did he just eat ice cream and candy?”

“He didn’t even want sweets. Or coffee, even.”

Hotch’s frown deepened. “Well, shit,” he said. He dropped his hands to Spencer’s shoulders. “Okay, kid, you have to eat something. If you don’t pick, I’ll pick for you.”

Spencer shrugged. “That’s fine,” he said.

Hotch met Emily’s gaze, eyebrows raised. “I told you,” she said.

She followed Hotch down the cafeteria line as he filled up two plates. Spencer stayed so close he ran the risk of getting stepped on, his small hand clinging to the hem of Hotch’s jacket.

Dave and James had beaten them to their usual table, and neither of them looked particularly happy. “Bad news,” James said. “JJ just called. Her parents rescheduled her flight. They were worried about the storms, so she’ll be here tomorrow afternoon.”

Emily glanced over at Spencer. “But she’s okay?” he said anxiously.

“She’s fine, caro,” Dave said. “And she’ll be here tomorrow.”

“What about Derek and Alex?” he asked. “Have they called? Or texted.”

“Not yet,” James said. “Maybe they’re already on their flights, though. I”m sure we’ll hear from them soon.”

Hotch set the tray down on the table, then picked Spencer up and set him down in his chair. “They’ll be fine,” he said. “So how did Thanksgiving go for you guys?”

Even with their attempts at changing the subject and trying to draw him into the conversation, Spencer seemed to sink further into himself, his legs tucked up under him and his chin resting in his hand, his plate still mostly untouched. Emily couldn’t blame him for being sad. All week it had been just the two of them in the nearly-deserted dining hall, and even with the boys there it seemed wrong without the rest of the group- Penelope shrieking about something that didn’t need to be shrieked about, Derek regaling them with stories from football practice, JJ’s pretty laugh bubbling over, Alex keeping the peace and stopping cups and plates from getting knocked over and tilted onto the ground.

Hotch didn’t make much headway getting Spencer to eat, but at least he ate a little bit, and their little group braved the storm to get back to Lincoln House. “What have you guys been up to?” he asked as they settled in the common room again, coats and umbrellas hung up to dry.

“Legos,” James said. “This was supposed to be a plane.”

Hotch laughed. “Yikes,” he said. “I’m glad you’re not planning on going into engineering.”

“Yeah, probably for the best,” he said ruefully. “I-”

“Hold on, hold on,” Dave interrupted. “Did you guys see the group chat?”

Emily fumbled for her phone. “No, I didn’t, I...oh.”

“What’s wrong?” Hotch asked.

“Derek’s flight got canceled too,” James said. “He says it got delayed and he sat on the tarmac for three hours, but they pulled everybody off the plane. His mom’s already picked him up, so he’s fine.”

Emily glanced over at Spencer. He curled himself up smaller, his knees tucked up to his chest, chewing on his thumbnail. “But he’ll be here tomorrow?” he said.

“Yeah, he’ll be here tomorrow,” Dave reassured him.

Spencer lifted his head. “Can we call Alex?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah, of course,” Emily said, immediately pulling Alex’s contact info on the screen. “Here, kiddo. Just press-”

Lightning cracked, and with a sharp pop the common room went dark.

“Holy shit!” Emily shrieked, the phone falling from her hand.

“Did a fuse blow?” Dave said.

James got up and looked out the window. “Well, judging by the other buildings on campus...I think the power’s out everywhere,” he said.

“Well, fuck,” Hotch said.

Emily raised an eyebrow. “Watch your language!” she said in mock horror.

“Oh, shut up,” Hotch said good-naturedly. “Well, I guess we’ll just have to wait for the power to come back on. Spencer, do you want to go ahead and call Alex? She’ll probably be glad to miss the power outage.”

“I think the tower’s down too,” Spencer said in a small voice. “There’s no signal.” He held the phone back out to Emily. “Thanks anyway.”

She reached for the phone, and as the lock screen flickered she caught the faint mark of tears on his cheek. “Oh, no,” she said. “Oh, fuck. Spencer, don’t cry.”

“I’m not crying,” he said, but there was a distinct wobble in his voice.

“Spencer, it’s going to be okay,” Hotch said. “The power’s going to come back on, and everyone will be home soon.”

It was too dark to see, but she could hear Spencer sniffling in a valiant effort to keep form crying. “I know,” he said. “But I-”

Hotch picked Spencer up and placed him in Emily’s lap. “Stay here with Em for a second,” he said. “James, Dave, come with me.”

Spencer dropped his head against Emily’s collarbone as she wrapped her arms around him. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“Don’t be sorry,” she said. “It’s been a rough week, dude. You didn’t get to go home and see your family, and you miss everybody. And you’re worried because of the storms. It makes sense.” She kissed the top of his head. “And now we’ve got all this power outage shit. But it’ll be okay.”

Hotch dumped an armload of stuff onto the nearest armchair. “Thank goodness for Penelope’s illegal candle stash,” he said.

Emily twined one of Spencer’s short curls around her finger. “What’s with all of the pillows and blankets?” she asked.

In the dim light she could see Hotch grin. “We’re going to make a blanket fort,” he said. “C’mere, Spencer, I could use your brain for this.”

Emily set Spencer on his feet as James and Dave brought in their collections of pillows and blankets. She busied herself lighting candles and placing them in safe places around the room as Spencer directed the older boys in their construction. He seemed to perk up a little bit with something to focus on, especially as they let him be in charge.

“Okay, I’ve made some blanket forts in my day, but this one is pretty cool,” James said.

“That’s because Penelope has about eight million blankets and they’re all soft as baby puppies,” Emily said as she crawled into the fort. “I claim the blue pillow!”

All five of them fit comfortably inside, the interior lit with a string of battery operated fairy lights, also taken from Penelope’s room. Spencer nestled himself between Hotch and Emily. “Are we going to tell Penelope that we borrowed all of her stuff?” he asked.

Hotch handed him his favorite blanket. “I think if we leave the fort up till she gets back, she won’t mind as long as she gets to hang out in here,” he said.

“What should we do?” Dave asked. “Power’s still out, and there’s no wifi either.”

“Oh!” Emily said. “Okay, I’ve been trying to get you to listen to this album for weeks. Now is the perfect time! You’re a captive audience.”

They took turns passing each other’s phones back and forth, listening to different songs in the comfort of the handmade blanket fort, playfully arguing over each other’s tastes in music as the warm glow of the fairy lights cast soft shadows. Spencer seemed a little less tense now, snuggled safely between Hotch and Emily with his blanket hugged to his chest.

She hadn’t kept track of time, but it was at least two hours before the power switched back on, the overhead lights suddenly way too bright after the dimmness of the tent. “There we go,” Dave said, sitting up and checking his phone. “And we’ve got signal again!” He stretched his arm over James and Emily to hold out the phone to Spencer. “Here, passerotto, see if you can call Alex.”

He took it eagerly and tapped at the screen to bring up her info, but his excitement faded almost instantly. “It went right to voicemail,” he said. “Thanks anyway.”

James scrambled ungracefully to his feet. “Hey, since the power’s back, who wants to watch a movie?” he said.

“Not a Star War, please,” Emily called. “I can’t tell any of them apart.”

Hotch propped himself up on his elbow. “Hey, Spence,” he said. “It’s okay. I’m sure Alex is fine.”

“Yeah,” Spencer said. He turned to Hotch, one corner of his mouth tugging up in a rueful little half smile. “I bet her flight got canceled too. It’s okay.”

James flipped the overhead lights off, leaving them back in the glow of the candles and the string lights, and crawled back into the fort with the remote in his hand. “All right, if anyone has objections, y’all can get up yourself and change it,” he said.

Emily settled back as the movie started. Spencer was quiet beside her, but after a while he rolled over onto his stomach, his forehead pressed against Hotch’s arm and his blanket tangled around his legs, and she smiled when she heard his first little snore.

“Hotchner,” she whispered. “This blanket fort idea was genius.”

Hotch grinned. “Sean made me make one for him while I was home,” he said. “I figured Spencer might like it too.” He paused. “Is he asleep?” Emily nodded. “Thank god.”

James sat up and pushed his hair out of his eyes. “Guys, I still haven’t heard from Alex,” he said. “It’s still going right to voicemail when I call her and she hasn’t answered any texts.”

“Maybe her signal’s out too,” Dave said. “Don’t worry about it. Alex can take care of herself.”

James pouted. “Yeah, but...I might be a little worried about her,” he said. “It’s not like her to not answer.”

“Awww, you miss your girlfriend,” Emily teased.

“I do! I do miss her!” James said.

“Guys, if any of you wake up Spencer, I will murder you,” Hotch hissed.

“I’m sorry!” James whispered back. “I just- I think I need to be worried about Alex.”

Suddenly a familiar person knelt down and leaned into the tent. “You’re worried about me?” Alex said, her long red hair hanging loose around her shoulders. “That’s so sweet!”

James scrambled up, smacking Dave in the face in his haste. “Oh my god, I missed you!” he said. He tugged her closer, cupping her face in his hands, and kissed her deeply. “Oh my god. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she laughed, running her fingers through his hair. “My phone died and I didn’t pack any of my portable chargers in my carryon. Where’s everybody else?”

“Everybody’s flights are delayed,” Emily said. “Spencer’s been beside himself.”

“Oh, poor thing,” she said. “Is he sleeping? I don’t want to wake him up.”

“Yeah, he just dozed off,” Hotch said. “He’s going to be so relieved to see you.”

Emily scooted over to make room. “C’mere, the movie hasn’t been on for very long,” she said.

“Hey!” James protested. “She’s my girlfriend, shouldn’t she be next to me?”

“Well, she’s my roommate, and I’ve had her for longer,” Emily said. Alex laughed as she settled between her and Spencer, busying herself with snuggling him against her side and tucking him in. Emily leaned over to whisper in James’s ear. “Besides, we all know you two are gonna go fool around the second you get a chance. You’ll get your quality time, don’t worry.”

Even in the dim light she could see him turn red. “What are you guys whispering about?” Alex asked.

“Nothing!” James squeaked. Emily made a rude hand gesture and he smacked her arm. “Emily! Stop it!”

She snickered as she leaned her head against Alex’s shoulder. “How was your week being in charge?” Alex asked as she adjusted Spencer’s blanket around him.

“Could have been worse...could have been a lot better,” Emily said. “He was so sad. I’m not good with sad kids.”

“I’m sure you did great,” Alex reassured her.

The movie was almost over when Spencer began to shift and whimper in his sleep. “Is he okay?” Emily asked.

“He’s-” Hotch winced as Spencer kicked him in the shins. “Ow. Bad dream, I think.”

Alex sat up. “Okay, I’m going to wake him up,” she said.

“Careful, he can be pretty feisty,” Hotch warned.

Alex stroked his hair back from his forehead as he tried to pull away from her. “Spencer, wake up,” she called gently, her hand resting on his chest. “Come on, darling.”

She kept coaxing him until his eyes finally opened. “What’s going on?” he mumbled.

“You had a bad dream,” she said.

He blinked. “Alex?” he said sleepily. “Did your plane land safely?”

Hotch laughed. “Yeah, kiddo, her plane landed safely,” he said. “Get the sleep out of your eyes.”

Spencer rubbed his face and blinked again. “Alex!” he yelped, throwing himself into her arms.

“Hi, baby,” she said. “Did you miss me?”

“A little bit,” he said, tilting his face so she could kiss his cheek. “Was your flight okay? Was there a lot of turbulence?”

“Everything was fine,” she reassured him as she cuddled him against her side. “Now, sh, I think Dave is getting invested in the movie.”

“No, I’m not,” he said absently.

“Yes, he is,” Emily teased.

Spencer settled down with his head on Alex’s knees; Hotch tugged his blanket around him. “Everybody else will be here tomorrow,” he said. “Penelope’s connecting flight got canceled, and Derek’s got canceled, and JJ’s parents rescheduled her.”

“That’s good,” she said, stroking her fingers through his hair. “Go back to sleep, darling. You look so tired. And everything’s going to be okay, nothing to worry about.”

The rain had settled back into a light tapping on the window; the thunder and lightning had long since stopped. Emily leaned back against her pillows, smiling in contented relief. Alex was right. Everything was going to be okay.

#au: patron saint of lost causes #caitlin writes things #emily prentiss #alex blake #alex miller #aaron hotchner #hotch #dave rossi #james blake #spencer reid

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musashi · 3 years

Note

are there any stories/facts about your job/coworkers you can comfortably share? maybe something cool they did/you did with them recently? anyone that stands out in particular among them, without getting too specific for. clear reasons?

what's cheeseburger up to atm? any notable stories or anything about him recently, or has he been just living his best life as usual?

which of the skyloft NPCs do you particularly like? for arguments sake, this is excluding the more story relevant ones, so no groose + his gang, no zelda obviously, etc.

as an opposite to that, talk about groose! i've always loved him as a character, and the bits you've said about him and his relationship with link and zelda is always great! also, any notable kin memories you have of groose? especially things that occured after he left skyloft, or even after the demise fight. what did he get up to after the credits rolled?

fun stories about your loftwing? were there any traits you and him shared notably? or any that were more opposite?

what are some of your favorite things about your favorite iterations of zelda? what i mean by that is like... what do you like best about tetra/wind waker zelda? what about skyward zelda? botw zelda? they're similar but all unique people, so what endears you the most about each of them?

i know this is a lot, so don't feel like you have to answer in any specific time frame. take as long as is comfortable, and i hope this helps!! ~🍄

these are so many!!! thank you for being so generous!!!

most of the ppl i work w are. kinda rude to me all the time so i mostly just drown them out so i don’t go insane. but there is this one kid who is just, like, a ray of sunshine every time he walks into a room. and he works so hard and he cares about his work and i feel like he’s the only bitch who gets me. we vibe over zelda and will just get into debates about the lore on the clock and i look forward to seeing him a lot.

what's cheeseburger up to atm? any notable stories or anything about him recently, or has he been just living his best life as usual?

he’s just doin he. he sleeps a lot. sometimes in boxes. sometimes under beds. sometimes directly on top of me.

a few weeks back i went to the ER for what i figured out was a kidney stone and while i was literally on my bed writhing in pain trying to hold out until my grandparents got there cheeseburger just like, jumped up on top of me and immediately starting pissing on me, as if to say haha, check this out. i can urinate better than you.

which of the skyloft NPCs do you particularly like? for arguments sake, this is excluding the more story relevant ones, so no groose + his gang, no zelda obviously, etc.

i love all of them so much oh no... everyone i love i love for kinnie reasons like i am tempted to say jakamar cause even though he’s kind of a sleazy dude he, as previously mentioned, smuggled me woodscraps to whittle fsdgjkfsgh

but parrow gives good hugs. and henya always has snacks hidden somewhere. and pumm will give you soup on the house sometimes if he can tell you’re in a rough mood. and and and........ i wuv skyloft. this is all kinnie bullshit actually.

talked about him a lil bit in my last ask hehe

fun stories about your loftwing? were there any traits you and him shared notably? or any that were more opposite?

aepon & i were the kind of pair where we seemed really dissimilar on the surface but i think if anyone actually knew us they’d be able to discern pretty quickly that we were 100% twinning. like at face value i was a pretty calm and quiet person who was just, like. spacey and sleepy and vibing while things happened around me, and aepon was this absolute speed demon who had the biggest, loudest presence any time he entered a space. ppl in skyloft called him my red terror.

but the thing about my bird is that he was stubborn to a fault, and recklessly brave, and he just didn’t. stop. and he loved fiercely, the second i was awake in the morning i’d hear him circling overhead and shrieking his happy little shriek, he’d fill my head with all his thoughts of hanging out with me while i was trying to concentrate on work. all those things, we had in common, but i wouldn’t have been able to tell you that. someone like zelda probably would have.

i think the best representation of it is at the beginning of everything when the tornado took zelda, the both of us just. dove right in. nothing else mattered, no conflict existed within either of us, i didn’t have to steer him in or send my intentions into our shared headspace, he just turned into an arrow flying straight into danger, and i went with him and we were one living being. like that’s our core. we are very opposite, until shit gets real, and then we are this beautiful unity tearing through the clouds.

HOW DO I COUNT THE WAYS I LOVE ZELDA AHHHHH

oot!zelda’s determination to defy fate... the way she refuses, from the start, to give in to darkness even though she’s only a little girl. the way she sees my commoner ass just waltz up into her private garden after breaking into her house still dressed in my stupid forest clothes and shes like. oh fuck yeah, wanna help me overthrow the gerudo king? and we’re, can’t stress this enough, ten. she’s so confident like she never worries about being powerless or out of her element, she never for a second believes this isn’t something she can fight. and when everything goes to shit she just keeps fighting!!! and still has the time to remind me that i can keep fighting too!!! literally where did she get that personality i love her so much!!!!

tetra’s fucking... simmering fire. her perfect balance between action and thought. like you can tell she’s pissed off and wants to start throwing punches but she always has the self-control to assess if it’s the thing to do in the moment. I CAN’T DO THAT!!! i’m pissed off i want to swords!!!! that motherfucker over there is PROVOKING ME!!!!! and tetra has the same fire inside her but she’s always just, like, “shut the fuck up, link. put your sword away. we need to get the jump on him.” and im like, AHHHHHHH because she’s always right. literally always. i don’t know how she does this but i think about it constantly. i love her level head and her scheming heart and her choice to carve her own destiny. i like how she finds out she’s a legendary princess from an age long past with sacred blood and shes just like ‘that’s cool but actually i’m tetra and i like to cuss and steal.’ and just does that forever. it resonates with me especially because even though the gods acknowledged me as the hero of winds i, like, wasn’t a ‘true’ incarnation of the hero. it’s just what i decided to be with what i was given. she and i are two sides of that coin and there is something beautiful abt that i don’t have words for. in a lot of ways she was my inspiration.

skyward!zelda’s um. everything? everything. i am so in love with her. i am so in love... with her. i am finding it harder to describe her than everyone else here which is so silly because she’s easily the person i was closest with. she’s just, like, made of fire and love? of passion. everything she is stems from what she loves--she loves old legends, and cliche romance stories, and stargazing, and going on adventures. zelda romanticizes everything in her life, she’ll stop mid-sentence to make you look at the sky because it struck her as particularly beautiful today, meanwhile i’m just like. thats the sky i see it every day i live here. and she’s so brave, so fierce, so resilient--there’s literally nothing that could scare her, i’m certain she got to the surface and immediately started spitting curses at blins, if ghirahim had actually found her alone she would have tried to come at him clawing and spitting. i was always so chill because all my anger was Stored in The Zelda, she’d just fight half my battles for me before i could register they were battles. idk. zelda was such an optimist who took everything in stride and believed, no matter what, that she could make it her own and make it beautiful and find something to adore within it. i might have had a quieter disposition, but she was always better at dealing with change than me. it was calming. i love her so much.

botw!zelda’s passion and inquisitive heart, oh my god, oh my god. i’m going to fucking fight everyone in the kingdom who ever made her feel like she talks too much. god it enthralls me, the way she just talks and talks and talks and LETS ME LISTEN, she lets me just SIT THERE and BASK IN IT like some kind of COLD REPTILE ON A ROCK. i literally cannot comprehend how she can fit so much knowledge about so many different things in her brain, and the way she’s ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THAT, literally just getting together with her techie friends and building whole ass machines when she was like 6 years old. shes looking at me like ‘oh this child prodigy curse my shortcomings why cant i be pulling enchanted swords when IM 12′ and im like PRINCESS YOU’RE FUCKING COOLER THAN ME LIKE CONGRATS I TOUCH A SWORD SOMETIMES AND YOU COULD LITERALLY MAKE A ROBOT TO DO THAT FOR YOU oh my god the way she doesn’t see how incredible she is makes me go insane i feel insane just thinking about it she’s the coolest fucking person i’ve ever met she’s the coolest person in hyrule the kingdom is too good for her i want her to take apart hyrule castle brick by brick and just leave a note behind that says ‘im too cool for you’ and then she gets on my ancient magic motorcycle and rides off into the sunset to some paradise far away and if i’m LUCKY she takes me with her. i love zelda

#kin ramblings #Anonymous #wendy answers

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feeling-uncomfy · 4 years

Text

@trademarked-but-not-really and @aestheticallytiredandpathetic I have finished prompt three! I'm working on number 2 and 5 rn so they should be out soon!

In the meantime, enjoy!

Just a note that there will be abuse mentioned in this, relating to the old angsty fic I wrote? Yeah I explain more about the abuse here. Be warned!!

Denki swore as he hit the wrong note again. Jirou snorted as Bakugo yelled, having to restart for the fourth or fifth time that night. Momo came in with a tray of tea, accompanied by cookies.

"Satou made these for us! He made them specifically to each of our tastes as well!" She set the tray down and handed the treats out. Jirou thanked her, and gulped down her water. Tokoyami sat back, his fingers hopping from chord to chord.

Bakugo scoffed. "You still trying to learn that rift off? It's been three weeks, birdie." He said around a mouthful. Tokoyami let his head fall back. "I'm well aware of that, but thank you for pointing it out." He grumbled sarcastically. Bakugo shrugged and messed with his drumsticks.

There was silence as they ate. They got back to work, trying once again to get past a particularly difficult part of the song they were working on. Denki was clearly getting more and more frustrated, and he failed more as a result. Eventually, Jirou tried to call time-out, and Denki snapped.

He threw the guitar down, and it barely missed Tokoyami's head. Bakugo growled at him to watch it. "Sorry, mister perfect! I'm not good at this bullshit!" He yelled, turning away. Momo carefully made her way over. "No one's perfect, but that doesn't mean you can give up! We're all trying to learn this." She attempted to reassure him. Tokoyami nodded in agreement.

This appeared to make Denki angrier. "It's not the music!" He pulled back and faced the door, arms crossed. Jirou looked confused. "Then what is it?" Denki grumbled something. "Speak up, Spark Plug." Bakugo said.

"That! That's what's bothering me!" Denki spun around, tears threatening to fall. "It's the fact that your quirks are so cool, and you're all so talented! And what am I?" He scrunched up, tears falling down his face. "I'm nothing without your help..." The room was quiet after Denki's outburst. Momo's hand retracted.

The silence was deafening. Bakugo spoke up. "You idi— Denki. Look at me." Everyone's head snapped up, clearly taken aback by the correction. Bakugo continued. "No one actually thinks they're any good—" Denki shook his head, not letting him continue. "You say that, but your quirk is awesome! You don't count!" He said stubbornly.

Yamomo spoke up. "He's right. I dont think I'm good enough to be a hero either." Bakugo, Tokoyami and Jirou looked at Momo in shock. Denki buffered. "But, your quirk is amazing—" Momo cut in. "That doesn't matter if I cant put it in action effectively." She spoke calmly, but her hands shook.

Jirou looked away. "You saw me when we talked about music the first time." She said dejectedly. "I didnt think it was useful at all." She chuckles, though there are now tears in her eyes too. "Well, I still dont think that music is useful. Not really." Bakugo looked between them. This clearly wasnt what he was expecting.

Tokoyami shifted his weight from one leg to the other. He felt like he needed to share something. "No one ever really thought I could be a hero." He said quietly. The groups attention was on him. Tokoyami swallowed his nerves. "People always told me I'd be a villain, so after a while I started to believe them..." He stared firmly down at the ground. There goes his 'never cries in front of people' facade.

Bakugo looked between them. This was bullshit. How could they not think—?

Denki sniffed. "People only really used me as a phone charger or a back-up generator in middle school. My brain fried a lot, and people made fun of me." Denki sat down, telling his life story.

Yaomomo followed. "People used me for money, and when they had finished with me, they publicly embarrassed me in front of the school." She explained. Jirou shook her head angrily.

"People never made fun of me because I never told them." Jirou said. "I didnt have a lot of friends, and I got kinda lonely." She shrugged. The group looked up at Tokoyami, who still hadn't sat down. "If we're sharing..." he reluctantly said.

He sat down cross-legged. "People bullied me because of my animal head, and would force me to show Dark Shadow to everyone simply because he was 'different'" He told them, petting Dark Shadow softly. "And because I was so small, they would shove me into the tightest pace imaginable." Tokoyami shivered at the memories.

As the group shared their trauma, Bakugo tried to find a way to fix them. Denki was chatting, and they all gave their opinions, when the question popped up.

"Hey, what're your parents like?" Tokoyami froze. Yaomomo spoke highly about her parents, talking about the fun they had. Tokoyami was confused. Jirou talked about how her parents helped her learn all her instruments, and Tokoyami couldn't help but ask, his curiosity getting the better of him.

"You're parents helped you with that stuff?" The group was stunned to silence. Denki laughed nervously. "Yeah dude, didnt your parents do normal things?" Tokoyami shrugged. "My mom died when I was young, and my father..." Tokoyami didn't wanna think about him.

"What about your father?" Yaomomo asked softly. Tokoyami toyed with the edge of his collar. "Mr. Aziawa told me I'm not supposed to talk to him or any of his associates anymore." And for that Tokoyami was grateful. The group grew concerned.

"Why?" Bakugo asked bluntly. Tokoyami faltered. "It's complicated..." He sighed but decided fuck it. They had shared so much with him.

"My father used to... hit me a lot when I was younger." Tokoyami blurted out. And it was like a dam had opened, he couldn't stop talking. "Sometimes he'd use his fists, and sometimes he'd use something sharp. Either way it hurt. He used to shout. Loudly." Tokoyami hand brought his knees to his chest, breathing going a little haywire.

"He'd lock me in a closet for every rule I broke, and he defiled my mothers grave—" Tokoyami choked on his tears, getting angry. "He let his friends—" he couldn't say it, he couldn't get the words out. "They used to..." Nope, his confidence was gone, and the memories were back.

He fell back, head buried in his arms, shaking. Jirou panicked, and being the closest, threw her arms around him. Tokoyami froze, but when Jirou's hands stayed firmly in one place, he relaxed. Yaomomo joined swiftly, and Denki came from the back. Tokoyami felt oddly warm, and safe. It wasnt a feeling he usually experienced when hugged.

Bakugo stood, and made his way over. Wordlessly, he joined the hug. They stayed like that for a while, until there was a knock. All Might poked his head in. "Sorry, but Aziawa wants you to– oh." He saw them hugging. Bakugo jumped back, and Tokoyami scrubbed his eyes furiously, trying to stem the tear flow.

All Might stood back. "Aziawa, what do I do?" He whispered nervously to the man standing at the door, fuming. "Kick them out, fucking—" he looked in and saw the mess. "Oh." The kids were still kicked out, but no one got in trouble for staying up as late as it was.

The next morning, Tokoyami walked downstairs. He had had a nightmare after the fiasco that was band practice, and instinctively was heading for the closet. He approached the door, and someone blocked him. "Sorry, could I just—" He looked up. "Oh, Bakugo. What—"

Bakugo grabbed his wrist and dragged him towards the bathroom. "Wait, wha– Bakugo, where are we going?!" Bakugo dragged Tokoyami through the common room, and everyone was confused as to what was happening. Kirishima was going to step in, but Denki stopped him, and turned the conversation away from the two.

Bakugo brought them into the bathroom and splashed water on Tokoyami's face. "Wha—?!" Bakugo snapped at him to shut up. "You look like you havent slept, and you were heading for the closet." He muttered. Tokoyami tilted his head, confused. "You always do that after a bad night, right? I didnt know why till last night."

Oh. Right. Tokoyami had completely forgotten he'd said all that. Bakugo continued. "Well, your not doing that shit anymore. You're gonna be a fucking hero, and your stupid dad can shove it." He shouted, gaining the attention of those outside.

"Why's Bakugo yelling at Tokoyami?" Mina asked, spoon still in her mouth. "He better not be starting a fight!" Iida chided loudly. Yaomomo laughed. "Tokoyami looked tired, it must be about that." She said, knowing damn well that wasnt the problem. She, Jirou and Deni had seen their friend going for the closet. They were all grateful to Bakugo for pulling up on it.

They all noticed it. Bakugo was still an ass, but stopped calling Denki stupid, or any variation of the word. He instead told him he 'didnt do as bad a job' and pat his shoulder. Denki's self esteem rocketed upwards quickly. Bakugo thanked Yaomomo more often for using her quirk, and drank her tea when no one else would. Jirou wasnt excluded either, Bakugo got her water after every practice and told her that her music was cool. And everytime Tokoyami seemed too distant for Bakugo's liking, he pulled the bird-headed teen away from the crowd for a little while.

Bakugo did little things to help them. Like staying up to help Tokoyami through another nightmare, or take care of Denki when his brain fried. Small things that meant the world to the rest of the band.

And they returned the gestures, Denki always plugging in the extra controller even though Bakugo said no. Or Yaomomo making a note of what tea Bakugo liked and making it for him on a bad day. Jirou giving him headphones when the noise was too much, and Tokoyami letting Bakugo have one of his extra fluffy blankets whenever he'd have a bad night.

They all helped each other on their own ways. Aziawa noticed, obviously, but found it sweet. Those kids needed each other. Hell, there would come a time when they may have to depend on the other. And Aziawa knew well enough there would be times they would break.

He was glad to know they had each others back.

This one was short and sweet, hope you enjoyed! :D

#boku no hero academia #tokoyami #bnha bakugou #bnha yaoyorozu #bnha denki #bnha jirou #abuse tw

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notdeadyetnatural · 3 years

Text

Hey! So i took a swing at writing again, my friend keeps telling me i'll never get better if i don't practice, so here i am writing fanfiction instead of studying for finals.

I have so many headcanons about team free will, but one of them is that the brothers have, on several occasions, pretended to be girls husbands or boyfriends to get creepy dudes to stop hitting on them. I also think, that since Castiel is an angle, he would know much more about said creepy dudes, and he might take it a step further than the brothers are able to.

Anyway, i hope you enjoy. Feedback is deeply appreciated!

(Also, really quick. If anyone wants to take this idea and make their own story/fic, feel free to! I only wrote it cause i couldn't find any fics like it. If you do write a fic/story using this idea, please tag me! I would love to read it!)

-------

The first time it happens was after a particularly frustrating hunt.

Sam, Dean, and Cas, had spend the past 3 weeks trying to find out what was killing local witches. Sam had gotten the call from an old wiccan friend of his, saying that witches all around the county had been turning up dead, and all signs point to something supernatural.

It turns out there was the spirit of an seventeenth century priest attempting to carry out ‘god's will.’ Cas had informed him that he had been severely misinformed if he thought this is what his father wanted, and then punched him in the face with an iron ring.

“You sure you don't want us to give you a ride? That car of yours doesn’t look like its got much time left.” Dean said to Alta, the wiccan that informed them of the killings. Saying her car had been destroyed by the spirit was putting it lightly.

“Im good Winchester. Keep in touch Sam! I don't want to go another 6 years before talking again!” Alta replied before getting in to what could only be described as death on wheels.

After walking back to the Impala, which was lucky parked a block and a half away (Dean had learned along time ago not to bring his Baby into the strike zone of a vengeful spirit) Cas still had not said anything but a polite goodbye to Alta. “Are you sure your okay, Cas? Judging from the dent in that oak, Mr. God's Will didn't throw you gently.”

Castiel shrugged, then nodded. His grace was not low, but he’d rather use it to heal rather than fight now days. Getting thrown through a window wasn't as easy for the winchesters as it used to be. Dean gave him a quick glance, obviously not believing him, but did not push the subject any further.

“Well, i'm starving. There’s this cool looking place over near downtown, they had a sign saying half off drinks on saturdays, so maybe we can get Mr. frowny face over here to lighten up.” Dean said, unlocking the car. Sam agreed, and they were off.

It wasn't that Castiel was hurt, but cases involving his father always got him in a bad mood. The way meany of the monsters they hunted would use god as an excuse for their own hateful agenda made him angry beyond belief.

So maybe he could blame that night on the anger.

The place Dean had mentioned was much bigger that they were used to, but still had the home-town vibe. It was an open space, with a large bar in the corner and tables soroung a fair sized dance floor. If it had been any other night of the week, Dean would have been surprised to see so meany people. But it was saturday around nine, so it was to be expected.

They ordered some food, a burger for Dean, salad for Sam. Cas got himself a drink and sat down with the brothers.

“Cas, Cas! Buddy, you sure your okay?” Dean asked him. Maybe Cas was a little more out of it than normal, but only because he was suppressing so much anger. He had also been eying a women in sitting at the bar who looked so uncomfortable, she could slide out of her own skin.

“Im okay Dean. Really.”

“If you say so. Im going to go get some more drinks, you guys want anything?”

“Just a refill” Sam responded, and Cas shook his head. Dean walked over to the opposite end of the bar than the women, who now looked to be more sad than anything. A man, who Castiel assumed to be her boyfriend, shouted something before storming out of the bar. She looked a little dazed, but other than that okay. Cas focused back on his drink.

“What did you think of Alta?” Sam said.

“What?”

“I said, what did you think of Alta? Are you okay man? You really do seem out of it, we can go back to motel if we need to.”

“No, no. There's no need for that. I promise im okay. Just thinking about the case.” Cas said the last part with a notable sadness.

“You think we missed something?”

“Definitely not. Nothing like that is going to continue happening to those people.” Cas stated. He hesitated before continuing, Dean was still waiting at the bar. “I just... None of the witches were bad. I don't understand why this priest would think my father would want him to kill them, especially in such a brutal way.” Sam winced at the memory. All the body's had seemed more like executions than murders. The last couple especially gruesome.

“Well, you say it all the time yourself. We got a lot wrong, misinterpreting, mistranslating...” Sam trailed off. Humans really did get it wrong most of the time. “A lot of people use religion as an excuse to hate. I think that's part of the reason Dean has rejected it so much.”

Cas thought back to the poorly hidden annoyance in Deans tone talking about this case, and what the priest thought.

Before Castiel could say anything else, Dean walked back over with three drinks. “I don't need anything Dean.” Cas said as Dean handed him a glase.

“I know, but i've been trying to find one of these for you to try for a while now, and we are finally at a place that sells em” Dean said with a smile on his face. It was clear that the man was just trying to cheer Castiel up, but the gesture made Cas a little happier.

“Thank you, Dean” Cas said.

Halfway through the fruity drink Dean had brought him, Castiel noticed the women in the corner again. She had gone from sad and alone, to scared and with someone. Around the time she started hyperventilating, Cas set his drink down.

“Cas? Buddy, where are you going?” Dean asked him, but his voice was muted. The women was trying to get away now, but the man wasn't letting go. Cas sped up. He was about three quarters of the way there, when he saw the mans hand go somewhere the women clearly did not want it to be, and a bottle to the left of him cracked with his anger.

He made it over to where the women was sitting, and put two fingers to the mans forehead.

Time works differently, when you are an angle. Sometimes centuries seem like seconds, others, seconds lasted years. As Castiel held his fingers on the man, he saw what he had done. What he would continue to do.

And maybe he had had a bit more to drink than he told the bothers, maybe it was the left over anger about the case. Maybe it was simply Castiel. But that man would never hurt someone again.

His eyes shone a bright blue, almost white, and within three seconds of getting to the man, he was laying limply on the floor. Dean was halfway to him, holding up a hand to Sam signaling he would take care of whatever this was.

Cas looked at the women, and with fear in her eyes, he took her hand and explained. Images of the divine filled her brain, and she fell in Castiel's arms and sobbed. “Thank you... thank you. I'm so sorry”

The women, no older that 24, Cas could see now, was a mess in his arms. She didn't know anything about Castiel, other than what he was, and that was enough for her to feel safe. Dean made it to them, and Cas shot him a look to get him to back down.

Dean retreated, standing a few feet away, when the women looked up at Castiel. “Thank you” she said again.

“I'm sorry i didn't come sooner, i don't usually intervene like this.” Castiel responded gently. The women gathered herself back on to the bar stool, and stared at her hands.

“I dont..I-” She stammered.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Cas said. She nodded hesitantly. Dean was still confused, but he stayed away.

“He... Earlier me and my boyfriend broke up. I, um. I came out to him...” She shot a nervous glance at Castiel, clearly afraid of his reaction.

“As?” He asked with a reassuring smile. The women visibly relaxed.

Castiel cold have this effect on people sometimes, his grace was calming when it wasn't threatening divine wrath.

“Uh.. bi. I had come out to him as bi... And he didnt- didnt take that very well.” She got quieter as she spoke. A few stray tears were still rolling down her face.

At this point, someone had pointed out to the bouncer that the man had passed out on the floor. After seeing his head was bleeding, an ambulance was called. Cas could not say he was worried.

“He uh, he stormed out. Said somethings. I knew it was coming though. He was never a very supporting person. I called my friend, she actually should be here soon, um, sorry to bug you...”

“You are no bother. Would you like to speak about the man?” Castiel asked. He could tell she did, it was rolling off her in waves. But just because she had callmed due to his grace does not mean that he would force her.

She nodded shyly. “He, uh, he must have overheard me coming out. A Lot of the things he said, were um.. about that. I tried to be polite, cause sometimes being rude makes it worse, ya know?”

Castiel didn't know, but he nodded anyway.

“But he wouldn't stop, and eventually he started getting handsy-” She let out a teary laugh. “I realized- realized he was a lot stronger than i thought. By the time he had my arm i couldn't get out of his grip...” She got quiet.

“The you came” She looked up at castiel again. “Thank you” She repeated.

Castiel only nodded. “Would you like me to stay with you until your friend comes?” He asked. Again, he knew the answer, but he let her respond anyway.

“That would... That would be really nice. I- uh, I cant thank you enough.” She said. Castiel pulled her into another hug. Dean was silent, he had found another stool and sat a few feel away.

Castiel stayed with her until her friend, Amelia, frantically ran into the bar looking worried.

“Oh god, Jo, there you are” Amelia pulled Jo into a hug, and she broke down again. “Come on, sweetie, i have food in the car. Your place or mine?”

Jo calmed down just enough to whisper “Yours” and walk out to Amelia's car. Castiel walked with them, and before they left Jo pulled him into a hug.

Flashes of wings flew through Jo’s mind, and Castiel said. “You will be safe, Josephine, pray to me whenever you need to.” Cas whispered into her ear. He gave her a pat on the back and watched them roll away. Dean didn't say anything.

When they got back to the motel, Sam called first shower. Dean looked at him, waiting.

“You cant just go smiting people, Cas, especially in such a public place.” Dean said.

“I did not smite him.”

“You put to fingers to his head and he collapsed, what is going to happen to him?”

Castiel stayed quiet for a minute before answering. “His name was Jake. He will wake up in a hospital, handcuffed to the bed.” Dean gave him a strange look, Cas continued. “The doctors will say he passed out after having one to many drinks. By the time he makes it to the hospital, a warrant for his arrest will have been issued.” Dean was surprised.

“He will be charged for over 10 accounts of rape, one murder, and abuse. Jake will try to buy his way out, but, for some reason that just wont work this time. His case will be assigned to a particularly harsh judge, and he will get life in prison.”

It was safe to say Dean was stunned.

“...I, I don't know what to say Cas.”

“This wasn't his first time. He had plans for that women, Jo. But it will be his last, Hanna has made sure of it.” The mention of the angel running heaven made Dean look back up at Cas. He nodded. Sam got out of the shower, and the next morning they were on their way back to the bunker.

A week later, Cas heard a prayer. It was mid morning, the bunker was still quiet with its occupants asleep. Jo prayed to him for safety, for him to protect her.

Another 2 days went by, and there was another. Jo prayed to him for happiness and advice. To send her a sign that it was going to be okay. It didn't take much grace to make a monarch land on her finger that day.

The prayers continue, and as a favor to Castiel, Hanna promises to keep an eye on the human,

That was the first time Cas protected someone at a dingy bar or festival or where ever casses took them.

It wasn't the last.

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csa-survivor-confessions · 4 years

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(1/2)🐛? (on mobile cant find your faq sorry) My mom raped me for years and i recently escaped now that im 18. I didnt remember the sexual abuse when i made the decision to leave but i randomly realized it a few months later. I have found little support and therapy for an hour a week is all i can afford but is not enough. I am at the end of my rope with my trauma and DID and i dont know what to do. The biggest issue is the overwhelming shame, and feeling like i deserved it.

(2/2)🐛 I keep falling into saying it didn't happen/wasn't that bad/others had it worse to the point I get sick when I deny it too much. An alter keeps saying the rest of us are lying and mom is a good person and we should go back. I feel like I made everything up because I read a lot of noncon fic to try to punish myself. Every grounding technique I have tried has failed. Sorry, I know this is a lot. Any resources for female survivors of maternal incest? Or any advice at all? I feel so alone.

Hello,

I’ll separate this into parts to hopefully help with converting clear information.

Denial, believing it’s fake.

Fake memories, or just “made up” memories do not happen commonly, [information here The False Memory Myth & Memory Repression]. there is nothing wrong with feeling that way however, self-denial and downplaying of our one trauma is really common.

Having “denial of parts/alters” is really common. I personally have DID as well and we have alters who deny our abuse, blame our abuse or have a deep attachment to our abusers. That is so normal! You are not alone, In this struggle. If you have any internal communication you can talk to the other alters who share this trauma for support these internal connection are god for recovery.

If you have the stability or any parts wh are good at working with there might also am them why they feel the need to defend the mother. communicating can also help ease your feeling of overwhelming and denial.

One key way to help with downplaying of abuse is to imagine a friend came to you and told you what happened to you happened to them. And think about what you would tell them, I bet it’s not. “it wasn’t bad” or “well other people got it worse”.

When you have worked out the kind of compassionate language, start picture the little girl inside you who went through the trauma. This can include talking to some of your young alters if you have any communication methods with them. Sometimes pulling them forward through focusing on your internal child might happen and sometimes those with DID can access the internal child through more basic IFS (internal family system) and Part Work methods. And offer them compassion for what they are going through.

Shame

When you find thoughts of shame start to spiral, not the thoughts and the feelings in your body. But then take a long breath and work to not identify with that thought. The emotion and thoughts exist but you don’t have t push yourself to think about it r feel it. Picture the emotion and try and let it pass.

Working towards self neutrality is also a good goal. Refraimging the language you use to talk about yourself, and in your case, your alters, to something that lacks overly negative connotation ill help change the schemas of shame. Coping Skills: Ditch Value judgments

Those words of compassion we talked about early when you find yourself starting to feel so down on yourself and shameful try saying these words to yourself. Along with some positive self aspirational mantras, you can help start to reshape the patterns your neurology follows. You won’t believe them at first but saying these will help with healing.

Practising good self-care can be super important. When we can treat our body with honesty and respect that helps shape our internal sense of being respected and being care for. It’s also just good for general depression and health. [Coping Skills Masterposts: Self-Care]

I know how hard things like showers can be but starting with just tooth brushing and face washing can be important. If brushing of teeth is a trigger I suggest buying a smaller toothbrush like a kids size and changing toothpaste to one tat either foams less, is another colour or if the taste carries. Using baby whips or a wet cloth to areas like the groin, armpits, under breasts and behind knees would be another important step towards overall health.

Keeping the living space as neat as possible also counteracts feelings of overwhelming shame and self-esteem issues.

The use of sexual material to cope

When we struggling to deal our tendency to self-harm is very common as it’s a maladaptive attempt to cope. Using the stories as a way to in your words punish is a form of self-injurious behaviour. Factors like lack of regulation, compulsive behaviour, intrusive thoughts and being manipulated by users to believing this is a reaction to perceived threats. [Coping Skills: Combating Self-Harm Urges]

This doesn’t invalidate abuse as having been abused is not contingent in never interacting with sexual content, up to and including having sex, afterwards. CSA often predates other unhealthy sexual behaviours as a reaction to our sexual traumas. No way our trauma reactions show mean our abuse didn’t happen or didn’t hurt us deeply.

Coping Skills

It makes sense a lot of the mainstream grounding is hard and lack effectiveness. Much of the meditative type skills intensify dissociation. We also often struggle with our automatic nervous systems being even more fractured than those with PTSD. Our neurological behaviour will also be more likely to take any stress or confusion and push us to dissociate. Visualization also tends to work poorly for many of us with dissociative disorders for the same issue of a tendency to dissociate. Focusing on a singular self to ground into can also become hard for us too and trigger depersonalization.

If there are skills you liked in theory and didn’t have direct negative effects it might be worth trying them again. I do understand the frustration I really really do but it can be worth it. especially as you learn what coping skills can work with different somatic sensations and cognitive distortions.

I would suggest using some of the most basic coping methods of deep breathing. I would guess this already takes a lot of brainpower as even basic things like breathing regularly can be hard for those who have extreme dissociation. So it takes a huge amount of practice for us and time for it to be effective but it’s so very important.

I would suggest still trying to practice focusing on our body sensations even if we don’t add the subsequent suggestions for grounding. Knowing what sensations tend to present themselves when certain stimuli and thoughts are present is really important for coping. It can be true that the coping skill you are working at isn’t addressing where you are. For examples, our nervous system can be in hyperarousal but many grounding skills counteract hyperarousal. So try and look for engagement over relaxation or visa versus.

I am a big believer in the body-mind connection and import of the brain-body connection and coping that is body focused. Cogntive skills like thought stopping and replacing can be truly helpful in the short term for trauma survivors.

Talk to your alters as well, coping can be influenced by the emotions land somatic states trauma we are carrying along with the ones within our consciousness. They might also just have opinions on what you ought to do. This can be done internally or through other means like writing notes.

Mother-daughter incest

I have found very little survivor orientated material that could be helpful, I found mostly news sources about how it exists and academic texts.

If any of our community knows of survivor focused materials for survivors of mother-daughter incest please reply or submit them.

We do have a discord that you could join and we have an incest support channel we are still growing the members of the server but it might be a place to have peer support.

Be Blessed,

-Admin 2

#ask #advice #coping skills #dissociative identity disorder #did #dissociation #incest cw #mother mention #rape cw #noncon mention #Anonymous

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amberandmetal · 5 years

Text

The letter

A/N: So Youtube was being an absolute asshole and recommended me some Natasha edits post endgame. I have been crying like a baby. Tears and snot everywhere, hiccups and weird inhuman noises included. Is it redundant to say that I miss her? and that I am absolutely heartbroken? Anyway. I needed to get some of it out of my system. So here. Have some Natasha x reader angst. Suffer with me. P.S The russian words are terms of endearment meaning kitten, my love, my star and the sentence at the end should mean “I love you more than the stars in the sky but I don’t fully trust my google fu so.. you know..

The paper was a flawless ivory. A wax seal in the middle, shiny vermillion and a symbol you didn’t recognize. You let your fingers skim the surface, the dry softness of the paper anchoring you to reality, keeping your brain from shutting down. Holding it up to your nose, you inhaled; it still smelled like her, that perfume— jasmine and incense. You heart added a beat in between beats, an extra harder thump beating you from inside.

Breaking the wax seal with shaking hands the scent of her increased, rose to meet your nostrils.

She knew how much you loved it.

She’d doused the papers with it.

~~~

I hope you will never have to read this, or in a sense I do. But I would much rather say this to you myself but.. I’m not delusional enough to think life will treat us that kindly.

what we’re trying for. what we’re trying to pull off. it wont be easy and I don’t know if everyone will survive it. Probably not.

Either way I know it has to be done, because I can’t do this anymore.

Your clothes have finally lost their smell. It took five years. five years I got to keep something of you, something to remind me and keep you alive in some way. But now it’s like you’ve vanished, like you were never here at all and I miss you.. kotyonok, I miss you. I miss you so much it hurts. Sometimes it’s like I cant breathe,.

This isn’t right, you should be here. You deserve to be here, you are the most.. pure and good thing I ever touched. I shouldve gotten dusted with the rest, not you. God damnit, zvezda moya , my star, my love, my ..I can’t stand it.

We tell others to find a way to be happy, to move on, but I can’t. Not from you. You are my sunshine, my world, my life and my redemption and I am doing this. Even if it kills me. And I know if you read this letter then that’s what has happened and I am okay with that. If giving my life will bring yours back I will gladly give it. malysh , I have too much red in my ledger, too many wrongs to ever make them right. I am not worthy of this life, but you are and I will do everything I can to make sure you come back.

I see your face when I dream. I turn in my sleep to hold you still, five years and counting. And you not being there when I try to put my arm around you still wakes me up, and those first seconds, those first blissful moments when I’m confused and wonder why you’re not in bed.. they are the sweetest parts of my days. And when I remember, when the memories come I pull at your cover and I curl around it, forcing myself to believe it is you, that you can feel me somehow, that I can still hold you in my arms and feel your skin.. your soft arms and..

FUCK.

I thought the tears would stop after the first couple of years, that I would forget, that your memory would fade and I would at least become numb to it but… I still see you. the wound is still fresh open and bleeding and I can’t. Not anymore, not when I know there is a chance. I owe this to you.

You saved me. In every way a human possibly can save another, you saved me. And this is me returning the favor.

Lyubov moya I love you, I love you, I love you I love you again.

If you’re reading this I died saving you, and I will rest peacefully knowing that my life was worth something and that you are okay.

I love you, I love you, I love you again. and I will do this, I will save you. and then I will rest, waiting until you come to me.

You are all I ever wanted and needed but didn’t deserve.

Ya lyublyu tebya bol'she chem zvezdy na nebe.

Yours always / Nat

#avengers endgame #natasha romanoff #natasha romanov #natasha x reader #black widow #natasha romanoff x reader #angst #post endgame #endgame angst #the characters arent real but my emotions are #avengers #mcu #marvel #im not sorry

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toothedsmile · 5 years

Text

The puppeteer: Chapter six

Masterlist

Chapter six: A hero’s job

Warnings!!: mention and the action of suicide, down talking and mentions of depression.

Please don’t force yourself to read if aren’t comfortable with these topics. If you need someone to talk to don’t be afraid to speak to me. I’ve been stuck and sometimes still am with these kind of thoughts so please. Don’t be afraid to speak to me. I care about you even if I don’t know you.

Once again you were awoken by the sound of your alarm in your ear. You stood up and cursed yourself for putting it on the highest volume even though you knew that if it were any lower you wouldn’t have woken up.

You did your daily routine and mentally prepared yourself for another day at hell school.

Once downstairs you noticed that your dad left you a message saying that he couldn’t be there in the morning this week and that your mother was working late. With a deep sigh you took your breakfast and decided that while your parents weren’t at home you could eat in front of the T.V.

Taking the remote you turned on the T.V and saw that it was still on the rerun from the news from last night.

Your eyes widened as you saw that they were talking about an attack from yesterday from villains at the U.A school in the location USJ, a special training place but you didn’t know the full meaning of the name.

It seemed that the attack was done to kill All Might and happened when the first years for the hero course class 1-A were there to do rescue training.

With furrowed eyebrows you kept shoving food into your mouth and soaked in the information the news gave about the villains, you know, in case you had to run for your life when you bump into a random person on the streets and they appear to be a villain trying to murder you for bumping into them.

Once you had done whatever was needed for your next day at school you packed everything up and decided to leave as you only had fifteen minutes before your class started and you didn’t want to be late.

Having arrived at school you looked around for your friend, as you were walking you heard people around you talking about the USJ incident. Some were worried for the class and others were speaking how they totally would’ve defeated the villains if they had been there even though anyone could see in their eyes that they were scared to even properly think about it.

Feeling something tap on your shoulder you turned around and saw your friend standing there with a smile.

“So have you thought about it yet? Becoming a vigilante?”

With wide eyes you slapped them on their shoulder.

“Are you crazy! Do you want people to hear this and get the police on my ass? What if somebody heard?”

Just as your friend waved their hand in a relaxed manner to try and prove you wrong you both heard a voice that silenced you two.

“Hear what if I may ask?”

With and audible gulp you turned around to look at the speaker and saw Ilya standing there with one of his eyebrows raised.

Freaking out a bit your friend grabbed your shoulder and started dragging you to the stairs leading to the hallway of your first class.

“Huh, hear anything?? Nothing! But oh no, would you look at that it’s almost time for the bell to ring –“

“-It’s still five minutes?-“

“-We should be going now, bye bye!”

And so you ended up standing in an empty hallway in front of your class in complete silence.

Except for the fact that you were glaring at your friend so hard that one might have been able to hear the laser coming from your eyes that bore into the head of F/N as they stood there with a bit of sweat dripping from their face as they tried to avoid looking at your general direction.

It was your last hour of the day and your friend didn’t bring the topic of you becoming a possible vigilante up again during the whole duration of the day.

“Alright everyone, this is it for today’s lesson about radiation. Be sure to look over what we’ve learned again and don’t be afraid to ask questions, I’d be happy to help you.”

One of your most favourite teachers this year said that you were all allowed to leave with a pleasant smile. Walking side by side with your friend towards the school gate wasn’t awkward.

The only thing awkward was that they kept walking with you to your house even though they lived somewhere else and had to catch a bus.

“Not that I don’t like you walking with me but don’t you have bus to catch?”

They shook their head with a small smile and looked you right in the eye.

“I’m coming to your house. I know your parents work late right now so we have some time to talk.”

Sighing you accepted your fate, you knew they wouldn’t let you go anyway and would just keep bothering you.

“Fine then, we’ll talk about your oh so important question.”

You both continue walking towards your house in a slightly awkward but mostly comfortable silence.

Once having arrived you went to your bedroom and sat down onto your bed.

“So, did you actually think about it?” Your friend questioned, head tilted slightly in curiosity.

You leaned back on your hands, looking upwards to the ceiling in slight thought. “I mean, I thought about it. I would like to be a vigilante. By the time I would actually get into UA or any other great hero school a year or more would’ve already passed at least. I think. Besides, it would show what hero work is you know.”

F/N nodded at your answer, they understood your reasoning. “I’ll help with it. Of course I won’t be a vigilante but I’ll do my best to help you out.”

Suddenly they stood up and clapped in their hands as they turned to you with an excited smile.

“Start today! I already thought that you would say yes so I managed to make a quick costume that is a actually a hoodie that modified to hide your…you know. And some pants that I thickened at your knees.”

With a deadpanned expression you turned to your friend that slowly turned into a ‘really?’ expression.

“Did you…Did you seriously? Oh my god, I honestly sometimes can’t believe you.”

Shrugging they took their backpack and took out a black hoodie, a pair of black pants and a basic black dust mask with no design or anything else that would be easily identified.

None of the clothes were visibly from any brands so you really liked that, it seemed that F/n had actually used their one and only braincell.

“I don’t know whether to be proud of you or to be slightly mad.”

They smiled innocently and batted their eyes at you. “Just be proud of me.”

You changed into the clothes and actually felt a bit badass in them.

“Alright, your hair cant be visible so just in case you’ll have to put up your hood and try to find some hairpins to pin it back.”

Slightly surprised you turned to F/N again, mouth a bit open with surprise at the fact that they seemed to talk so freely about you going out and being a vigilante with tips about your hair.

“Did you like research ‘how to vigilante’ or something?”

Smiling they avoided to properly answer you and just gave a shrug with a smile that screamed “maybe I did.”

You had put your hair back, even finding a headband that you put at the front of your head so the roots of your hair wouldn’t be seen.

“Alright, you still have some time before it becomes dark but I really have to go home or my parents might become angry or something.”

They gathered their stuff and said bye to you as they ran to a bus stop in the hopes of getting a bus so they could get home in time.

Sitting on your bed you rethought about your choice of becoming a vigilante. Perhaps you had made the decision to fast and hasty. While yes, you could get to helping people like you wanted while also getting experience in the job of being a hero that you wouldn’t get in and actual hero school but was it really such a good idea?

You had never done anything like this and you had yet to unlock new possibilities with your quirk.

Dropping yourself back onto your back on you bed you continued thinking about your totally ration decision.

Time had passed and it was now dark outside, deciding to go trough with your plan you readied yourself mentally and sneaked out of your house.

Walking on the streets at night knowing that there were most likely criminals and murderes roaming around waiting for a victim was very frightening to think about. But knowing that people who were required to walk around this time because of their jobs or other personal things could be in possible danger was enough to make you keep going even with the possibility of becoming injured.

As you were walking you thought about how you weren’t really able to see a lot of things around you, and that didn’t have anything to do with the fact that it was dark but it was because of the walls and many alleyways that were everywhere and blocked your sight.

Your eyes wandered around and suddenly you looked at a roof, your eyes kept wandering around to see if there was a fire escape that could give you access to a roof so you could look around from above with an even wider sight of where you were.

Sadly enough you didn’t find one that was in your physical reach but was most defiantly in the reach of your lovely strings.

Hoping that they wouldn’t snap you pulled yourself up and surprisingly you didn’t feel anything in your fingers and your string were quite strong.

Finally you got on top of the roof and looked over the side, the view was very pretty, the lights were shining brightly like earthly stars and the few cars riding around gave some movement to the picture.

Using the memory part of your quirk you captured the sight into your brain, but as you kept looking at the other roofs you saw another figure standing on the ledge of a very high building.

Your eyebrows furrowed with concern and you decided to go check out what was going on with the person.

With the help of your quirk you got to the other roof that was barely two minutes away and landed a few meters behind the person who after hearing the taps of your feet turned around surprised with wide eyes.

Their eyes locked with yours and you both kept looking at each other for a little while before they spoke up.

“Who are you?” They stepped a bit away from the ledge getting a little closer to the middle of the roof.

“I’m just someone who’s running around with a mask trying to help people. I saw you standing here and I got a bit worried.”

Confused they tilted their head as they looked at you with question. “Why would you be worried about someone you never met?”

Smiling softly beneath your mask as your eyes got a gentle look in them you stated answering them.

“It might seem selfish but I feel better when I help someone.”

They blinked, they hadn’t expected that you’d answer them honestly believing you to be some one who would pretend to be a hero just to stab them in the back.

“Why are you standing here?”

They seemed to get a bit uncomfortable at the question as their eyes looked away from you and their body turned a bit to the side as to hide way from you.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me but do you mind if I guess?”

Your only answer was a shrug and an uncaring face that became devoid of emotion.

“Did you come here to kill yourself?”

Their shoulders tensed and they looked back to the edge, slowly stepping closer.

“Yes, I did. You actually managed to distract me for a little while but I really have to continue so if you won’t mind I would wish to keep going with I was doing.”

You started stepping towards them but stopped as they moved even closer to the edge.

“Wait please. Don’t, please don’t do this. This isn’t the right thing. I don’t know your life, I don’t know your thoughts but I can understand why you’d do this. I’ve been there myself but please. If you keep living you will find something worth living for.”

Their eyes looked at you from the side, hesitation was filled within him but they hardened and they looked down from the ledge. They lifted their leg over the edge, slowly leaning forward.

“I’m sorry but I can’t, I just can’t stay here anymore. It hurts so much.” Tears dripped from their eyes and they went.

“Wait! No stop! WAIT DON’T JU-!”

Their whole body tilted as they fell from the roof.

Everything seemed to go in slow-motion as you ran to where they stood, your strings shot out as fast as they could behind the person in the hopes of stopping them, saving them, helping them.

But you were too late.

They fell down to their death and there was nothing you could do about it.

Frozen and with wide eyes you looked at the red splotch on the ground far down from you that turned into a blur and vanished as tears came into your eyes.

You body felt empty, your heart seemed to stop and you couldn’t think about anything except for the fact that you were too late.

Your breathing became faster as you became nauseous, you clasped your hand on your mouth as you felt your food coming back up but you managed to hold it back.

On shaking legs you backed away from the ledge, slowly going faster as you ran home to the safety of your room and covers.

Getting there you changed yourself with shaking hands, they could barely hold anything.

Grabbing your phone you called the police.

“Hello this is the police, how may we help you?”

With a shaking voice you spoke. “I-I s-saw someone, they – they jumped. I –“

You spoke about the person, the place here they jumped.

The person on the other side asked for your name but you answered that you just didn’t want to think about it anymore and they understood as you said your age.

They spoke that they’d ask perhaps call you back for what you saw and hung up after saying goodbye.

Sleep didn’t come until a few hours before you would have to start for school but you didn’t think about that as the same scene kept playing in your head as if it wouldn’t leave you alone.

And so you stayed there, traumatised for the rest of the day.

#bnha x reader #bnha #reader insert #bnha various x reader #bnha midoriya izuku x reader #bnha bakugou katsuki x reader #bnha todoroki shouto x reader #bnha various

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angrylizardjacket · 5 years

Text

ask your destiny to dance [11] {Roger Taylor}

[masterpost]

The second worst part is that Kristin is so nice. She’s bright, and sweet, and she ‘loves that shirt where did you get it from? You made it, oh that’s so cool! I could never do something like that you’re so talented!’ She’s so earnest, barely nineteen, and she clings a little, to Roger when he’s around, to Ash and Mary, because they answer her questions; she’s starry-eyed when she stands and watches the band through the glass of the sound studio window. She doesn’t know a lot about music, but she knows enough to appreciate the work they’re putting in.

The worst part is that she takes a liking to Ash.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to talk so much, I’m just nervous, you know?” And Kristin’s smiling a little distractedly as she watches Roger play. “I mean, I only met him a few weeks ago-” and she keeps talking but Ash’s brain short circuits; she’s not just a girl he picked up at the bar, she’s a girl he invited to the bar to watch him play.

“Could I talk to you for a second?” Ash asks, standing abruptly, holding out her hand to Kristin. The other woman takes it, and Mary shoots the ginger a supportive smile.

Ash wants to tell Kristin to run as far as she can, wants to warn this kind-faced girl about what Roger was capable of, wants to tell her that he basically admitted that he still wants to hook up with Ash not forty minutes ago, but as soon as the door swings closed, Kristin starts.

“I know you’re friends with Roger,” she starts, a little sheepish, and Ash’s eyes go wide, “and you’re protective of him or something like that, but-”

“No, not at all!” Ash blurts out, realising she’s still holding Kristin’s hand. “It’s you I’m worried about, darlin’.” It’s takes a long moment for Kristin to process Ash’s words, wide-eyed. “Roger can be,” Ash takes a moment in the silence to choose her words carefully, humming as she turned each over in her mind before settling on; “fickle.” Run fast, run far, he mind yells, but Ash is already feeling selfish for thinking it; she’s told him she’s going to try and keep it platonic from now on, she shouldn’t try and scare off someone he’s a little serious about.

She’s not jealous.

If she keeps telling herself that, maybe she’ll believe it, maybe she’ll stop feeling like her emotions are betraying her.

“Fickle?” Kristin’s brow furrows, and her expression turns soft. “You’re worried about me? Oh, Ash- can I call you Ash?” She asks nervously, not at all patronising, and Ash lets herself grin.

“It is my name.”

“I promise I can take care of myself.” Kristin assures her, but the horrible thought flashes through Ash’s mind, that August would adore her, Ash knows immediately that she has to keep Roger from hurting her while they’re together.

“I’m sure you can.” Ash gives her a kind smile, forcing herself to relax. “I just wanted to say my peace.” She said, and Kristin gives her fond smile, squeezing her hand as a reassurance, before they head back into the recording studio.

“You two... seem to be getting along.” Roger doesn’t sound like he likes that, eyes zeroing in on where the girls hands are clasped, and Ash gives him a sunny smile. He narrows his eyes further, plopping himself onto the other end of the sofa from Mary. Kristin lets go of Ash and immediately makes her way over to him, sitting in his lap, and something in Ash’s chest tightens painfully, smile dropping as he wraps an arm around her.

“She’s just being kind.” Kristin assures him, and Ash is pretty sure she sees a sarcastic response pass through Roger’s mind, but he bites it back.

“She’s good at that when she wants to be.” He says instead, quiet, apologetic smile on his face when he makes eye contact with Ash, and the girl in question just gives a jerky nod, turning to watch John begin playing.

“Yes, our Ash can be a sweetheart.” Freddie says from his seat beside the sound engineer, and Ash gives him a grateful smile, and he gives her a nod of acknowledgement, smile reassuring.

“A downright sap, sometimes.” Mary calls from the sofa, despite the fact that they both knew she’d never seen Ash as anything less than a dry-humoured bartender, though Ash still feels her cheeks heat up, embarrassed.

“Okay, okay, thanks I think she gets it.” And when Ash turns back, Kristin and Roger are quiet, her head on his shoulder, both looking up; she’s looking at Deaky, looking relaxed and content, and Roger is looking at Ash, a little confused.

“I don’t want to get into another argument.” Roger says it around a cigarette when Ash joins him outside for a smoke. He’s restless, both from the tension he can feel crackling from Ash, and the fact that they’ve yet to strike gold in the recording studio.

“I just don’t know how you could say all that to me while you knew she was in the next room; you’re dating her, aren’t you?” She doesn’t light up her own cigarette, just shoves her hands into her jean pockets. Her voice is hollow.

“I’m sorry.” It’s the most sincere he’s sounded so far, and the silence that follows feels like eons. “I’m sorry I said what I said; about the standards comment and everything else, okay? After what happened with August, we were good, weren’t we? Not back to... to whatever we were before, but we were good. I miss that.” I miss you, he thinks, but he can’t say it. “What happened?”

Ash can’t open her mouth because she knows if she does, she’ll say exactly what she’s thinking, that they were good, but she watched him pick up Kristin at her bar and she was hit with how much his words had hurt her, and how much it hurt to have proof of him spending the night with someone else.

“I guess I’ve just been bottling up being mad about that comment you made.” She lied easily, shrugging, not meeting his gaze. “You are dating her, aren’t you; you’ve been together for a few weeks now.” And Ash isn’t sure which answer will hurt more.

“Yeah, I guess so.” He seems a little uncertain, and he’s reached the end of his cigarette.

“She’s good.” Ash says, quiet enough that Roger almost doesn’t catch it, and when he goes to comment, she looks up, smiling a little too brightly. “We’re good, for real.” He thinks for a moment that she’s correcting her earlier statement, but he’s not quite sure, and she reaches out to rest a hand on his shoulder, and he’s frowning, confused. There’s a sincerity in her eyes that he can’t help but believe, and as soon as she can see he believes her, she’s turned and headed back inside.

“Don’t you think I sound like shit?” Ash walks in as Freddie is pacing, listening to a playback of himself. As if working off muscle memory alone, he moves in to give Ash a distracted side hug, before letting her go. Ash herself is a little distracted, and she makes her way over to where John’s sitting by the sound engineer, deep in thought. She rests her chin on his shoulder, uncertain of what else to do, and he pets her face comfortingly as a form of acknowledgement.

They’re so close to gold it’s almost painful, and she watches Freddie, restless, step back into the recording booth. Stepping back, Ash listens as he sings, hears the door open and close but doesn’t turn, just gives her best friend her full attention, and seeing her there, less troubled than earlier, bright and focused on him, Freddie’s own focus intensifies.

“What if we bounce it left and right for the ‘ah-ah-ah’s?” He suggested on the next playback, resting an arm on Ash’s shoulder, frowning at the soundboard. They listened, Freddie’s voice sliding from the speaks on the left to the right, a little hypnotically.

“And then centre for the last one!” Brian says, eyes bright, filled with a new energy, coming up and leaning on Ash’s other shoulder, to which she couldn’t help but grin, feeling the electricity crackle through the air as they listened back to the recording as they experimented on it.

“And blast it!” Roger cries; and there it is, coming together, gold.

Freddie picks Ash up, spinning her around, ecstatic, before he’s turning and reaching for Mary. They’re bottling lightning from the moment they step back into the studio, experimenting with their sound, and it’s like a weight has dropped from everyone’s shoulders, tension leaving only to be replaced with elation and excitement. Ash throws herself back onto the sofa between Kristin and Mary, positively beaming, and Mary wraps her arms around Ash, pulling her in for a tight hug, while Kristin tapped Ash’s leg with excitement.

Everyone’s up, down, and all over the place; at one point, Ash is on Brian’s shoulders with a tambourine, and then she was pulling the change from her wallet, pouring it onto the drums, along with the others, and she and Kristin were botching the cha-cha to a playback of Modern Times Rock ‘N Roll as Freddie and Mary were stepping through a surprisingly good jive, and the other three were bopping along; Roger grinned as he watched Ash dance. Actually, she realises, he’s probably watching Kristin; she doesn’t dwell on it.

The night was growing later, and they were still working as Kristin called it a night, and Ash had her head in Mary’s lap as the boys were in the recording studio, trying to record with a bucket over the microphone, and Mary was nodding off against the back of the lounge but Ash felt electric. Men in suits come in asking for a demo, but she’s too wrapped up in the music being made to even really register them. They leave with a demo of the recording before she’s even fully realised they were there.

“Where’s Kristin gone?” Roger asks, eyes bright as he moves to the sofa. Ash pulls her legs back, making room for him, before she puts her legs in his lap without thinking, neither of them really register it, it feels like it always has, and they’re smiling at each other.

“I think she went home.” Ash told him, and Roger’s gaze slides to Mary, something fondly amused about his expression. His hand is on Ash’s thigh and something inside her feels sated.

“I think Mary’s about ready to call it quits too.” He mused, voice getting a little quieter as to not disturb her, before he looks back at Ash. “I appreciate you being cool about Kristin.” He said, and Ash rolled her eyes.

“Well I wasn’t going to flip out, that’s a pretty dead giveaway that something did happen between us.” Ash’s voice was light, she seemed more exasperated than anything else. Mary makes a noise in her sleep, and for a moment, there’s fear in Ash’s eyes that she had heard what Ash had said. Roger is quiet for a long moment, his expression nervous as he looks at Mary, and his hand begins to move in a comforting rhythm against Ash’s thigh. She doesn’t seem inclined to move or to ask him to stop.

“You guys sound so fucking good.” Ash finally breaks the silence, tension dropping as she beams at him.

“Well we’re glad to have you with us; our unofficial mascot.” He muses, and Ash smacks his arm, snorting out a laugh. “Fine, not a mascot, our... what do you do for us?” He asked, which only made Ash laugh harder. Mary made another noise, and Ash pressed her lips together, stifling a guilty laugh as she sat up, moving her legs from beside Roger to sit next to him, legs tucked up onto the sofa. He kept his hand on her thigh.

“I serve you drinks and lend Freds my clothes,” she clarified, and Roger nodded as seriously as he could, the two of them looking through the window to see Freddie and John waving about card board tubes as Brian was fiddling with the amp.

“So you’re our costumer?” He asked, and Ash made a thoughtful noise, smiling at the notion.

“Only if I can dress all of you-” and as she said it, Roger’s hand slowed, coming to rest at the top of her thigh. Ash’s smile became a little tight. “Of course I was going to be cool about Kristin.” It’s so fucking pointed it hurts both of them a little, and he folds his hands in his lap.

“Of course you can dress us, I’d look great in sequins.” He mused, tone still bright and amused, and Ash snorted, rolling her eyes.

“You give yourself too much credit, Rog.” But there’s still a tension there, and Roger turns to her, eyebrows raised, and his answer is so automatic that he doesn’t register it until the words are out of his mouth.

“Ash, look at me, look at my face; I look good in everything, I even look good in nothing.”

Ash can feel in this instance that she’s at a crossroads; her mouth goes dry, and she has to look away, something in her chest tightening.

“You’re really doing this? You really decided that that was what you needed to say right now? God, you’re an idiot.” She gives a humourless laugh, standing.

“Sorry, I wasn’t thinking.” He tries, but she just shrugs helplessly.

“You are who you are, Rog, I get it.” And she started collecting her things. “Just try not to act on your instincts, for Kristin, okay? She’s good. I’m going home, it’s late.” And she gives him a tired smile. “Tell the others I said goodbye; I am really proud of you guys.”

Roger nods, giving her a weak smile, and watches her leave.

the ususal suspects: @deakydickfanpage @hollyissuchahoe @laueecakee @smittyjaws @crystalshines2909 @i-am-sarah @legendsaresooftenwarnings @2ptonpt @benhardy24-7 @maiilovely @mickey-yr-a-goner @butter-times @heyyouitskay @tired-eyes-fairy-lights @yepimthatperson @missieluvsmurder @ironqueen98 @ceruleanrainblues@banhbao329 @fantasticchaoticwho @ko-kitty @seven-seas-of-hi @mimisfangirlfantasy @aadjuric @rogmobile @cardybenhardy @snacfu @perriwiinkle @the-strange-fan-girl

#roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor x oc #borhap #bohemian rhapsody #bo rhap #borhap imagine #bohemian rhapsody imagine #queen #freddie mercury #brian may #john deacon #mary austin #ask your destiny to dance fic #the angry lizard writes

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scarlette-joel-writing · 6 years

Text

Erased Pt. 4

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Requested by: Me.

Warnings: Yall already know.

A/N I think im just gonna give up with telling you how long this thing is gonna be. It will be done when I think its ready to be done LOL

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13

The mind is a complex and vast place.

Filled to the brim with all of the conscious and subconscious things that you remember or know. Every fact that you have ever learned, every word that you have ever spoken, every memory that you have ever had is stored within your head. Memories that you don’t believe you have or believe that you might have forgotten are there as well. Every single moment of a person’s life Is stored within their mind.

It is just a matter of retrieving the information that you want. It’s a matter of sifting through the data to find what you need.

Let’s see if I can put it into simpler terms. The mind is like a huge, never-ending warehouse that is filled to the brim with rows upon rows of filing cabinets. And in these filing cabinets is every action you have ever done. Every word that you have ever spoken. Every date you have been on and every test that you have ever taken. All of these memories and moments of your life are stored in your head.

And all of your conscious knowledge. All of the facts that you know and the words that you can speak. All of the memories that you can recall. Those are all located in the 10% of the brain that humans can actually use. Everything you know is located in 10%. Just imagine what things are hiding in the other 90% in your subconscious.

And there is no organization to these memories. Every person is different and that means that every person’s mind is different. In some places it is well lit and clean and stable. And in other cases there are no lights and there are spiders and cobwebs everywhere. Some might have their brain organized chronologically or by the importance of the memory. Other might have the happy memories first or vice versa.

And in my case at the moment, my mind is black. Everything is black and I cant see or hear or feel anything. But I am acutely aware that I am still in my own head. I am aware that I am thinking but there is nothing to think of.

Where my brain differs from other peoples is in the fact that I can use all 100% of my brain. Kind of like that movie that came out a while ago with the woman who looked a lot like Natasha Romanoff, but not exactly. I don’t see strings of numbers like her. But because I can use all of my brain, I know everything that has ever happened in my life. Every word I have ever read. Every answer to every test that I have ever taken. I can remember names of thousands upon thousands of people, and I can see not only my memories but the memories that I have taken from other people.

Like right now. If I was a normal person and I had passed out, I would be dreaming. Or everything would just be black and I wouldn’t even know that I was passed out, but because I am who I am, I can still sense the outside world and I can still sense that I am somewhere different from where I usually am. Usually I like the quiet and the peace, but not when I cant control it. Not when I cant turn it off and go back to reality.

When I am not in control, things start to get a little shaky.

I close my mind’s eye for a second before I allow myself to “sit down” on the floor of my dark mind and cross my legs. If I cant help the situation that I am in. If I cant fight my way out of it, then I might as well take this moment to do a bit of meditating. Try to find some good out of all of the shit that has happened.

I am sitting there for almost 2 days, TWO FREAKING DAYS, when I can feel my outside body begin to stir. See, sometimes there isn’t really a connection between my body and my brain. I have a really strong mind that I can do a lot with but I have a really weak body that really doesn’t want to follow any rules that I give it. My brain gets hurt? It bounces straight back. My body takes a beating from a genetically enhanced super soldier that was trying to kill me? Suddenly it doesn’t want to function correctly. I don’t get it.

“Fuck,” is the first thing out of my mouth as I open my eyes to the bright eyes overhead. I can feel the pain radiating throughout my body and the way that my muscles twitch every few seconds from the complete and utter beating that they took almost 46 hours ago. I don’t even attempt to move. I just stay where I am and hope that it all goes away

“Y/N” someone says and when I open my eyes again and look down, I can just see that everyone in the complex is staring at me. Looking at me like I am a lost puppy. Cap, Sam, and Vision are on one side of me, Tony and Clint in front of me and Natasha, Wanda, and Bruce on the other side of me. I am down in Med bay, laying in a bed and it makes me wanna laugh. Looks like the roles have reversed.

“Hello,” I say as I take a deep breath, immediately regretting that decision because my lungs feel like a dagger went through them.

“Thought we had lost you there for a second. You have been out almost 2 days,” Sam says to me as he hands me a cup of water. Natasha pushes a button on the side of the bed to put me in a sitting position, an action that does nothing but cause me to writhe in pain, and then I take a sip of water. It feels like a glacier running down my throat and I love it.

“Oh trust me, I know exactly how long I was out,” I take another look around the room and I see that I completely skipped over the fact that someone isn’t present at my little “youre alive” party. “Where is Barnes? Still recovering from the beating I gave him?” I laugh. But I seem to be the only one. Suddenly no one will look at me. Suddenly the floor has become the most interesting thing in the world. “Guys. Where is Bucky?”

“He hasn’t left his room since you passed out, Y/N,” Cap says and I just give him a look that tells him that I am utterly confused.

“Yes, the boy seems to think that locking himself in a room and refusing meals is going to make you better,” comes Tony’s response. “Oh, and next time you decide you want to bleed all over a carpet, can you make sure that it is not my very expensive carpet? Thank you,” Tony takes a step forward, puts his hand on my leg and then gives me a wink. “But I am glad that you are okay,” and then he is gone.

Ah Tony. Always the closeted sap.

“Someone help me up. I need to go talk to bucky,” I am pulling out IV’s and tubes, trying to move the blankets.

“You are not going anywhere Y/N,” Cap says as he comes over and puts a hand on my shoulder. “You just woke up from a two day coma. Bucky can wait a bit,”

“I wasn’t asking, Captain,” I say as I shake his arm off of me.

“And neither was I. It was an order,”

“Then I guess it is a good thing that I am not really a part of your team, now isn’t it?” And with that, I pull myself up off the bed and take a few shaky steps to the elevator. My body doesn’t want to cooperate with me but I have to tell Bucky that this isn’t his fault. I hit the button and the elevator opens and then closes behind me a few seconds later. “Floor 27,” I say as we descend.

Walking is hard. And walking with bruises and cuts all over your body after not having moved for two days is even harder. I can feel the way that my shoulders sag and I hate it. I hate feeling weak. I hate feeling like I cant do anything. Even though my brain is running at top speed right now.

I get off the elevator and into the living room of Bucky’s apartment. It is clean and nice and empty. I make my way to his bedroom door, which I know is his because every floor has the same layout, and I knock.

“Go away, Steve. I am not in the mood,” I can hear his voice come from the other side and it sends a shiver down my spine. So small. So weak. So broken. All of those feelings and emotions flood through me as I stand there on the other side of the door. I have never heard him like that before. Never heard him sound so distraught. Could that really be because of me?

I knock again.

“Go away, Steve.” He doesn’t yell and he doesn’t seem angry. He just seems sad. So much sadness.

“Well, I am not Steve,” I say and then I can hear the flying of feet and the unlocking of the door before I am brought face to face with James Buchanan Barnes himself. Staring down at me with wide eyes. “And I am not going away. I am pretty hard to get rid of,”

“Oh my god, Y/N,” he whispers and then he wraps his flesh arm around my waist and pulls me to his chest. It knocks the wind out of me a bit but I let my shock overtake the pain at the fact that I am stood here, hugging Bucky Barnes. I can feel Bucky’s head nestle into the crook of my neck and it makes my heart begin to beat faster. “Oh my god, I am so sorry. I am so so so sorry. I cant believe that I did that to you. I cant believe that you almost died because of me. I am so sorry,” he keeps repeating over and over again. I just wrap my arms around his neck and rub small circles on his back.

“It isn’t your fault, Bucky. Im not mad at you, and I didnt come up here to get mad at you. I came to make sure that you were alright. The guys tell me that you haven’t been eating,” I pull him back from the hug to see the dark dark circles under his eyes. “And apparently you haven’t been sleeping well either,” he scoffs.

“How could I sleep knowing that you might not have woken up from me beating you?!” I just grab his hand and pull him back into the bedroom. Over to the bed. And then I make him sit. I go around to the other side of the bed and sit as well because my everything hurts and I am tired. “I did this to you,”

“No. Hydra did this to me. And tomorrow we will talk about a more permanent solution to the problem of you going all super soldier on us. But for tonight, I would really like to sleep,” I pat the bed next to me, and he hesitantly lays down. He keeps his distance, not that I mind too much because I don’t think that I am fully recovered from that hug earlier, but I look over at him and smile. “Ill make the memories go away,” I whisper to him with a soft smile and he looks at me with wide eyes.

“No, Y/N-“ he begins.

“I will make them go away for tonight. Just for tonight. No nightmares. No dreams. No any of that. Just a well-deserved rest that both of us need. Okay?” I look back at him with raised eyes and he nods his head and lays back against the pillow.

“Alright,” he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath and I do the same. I let my mind open to allow his thoughts in and he can seem to sense my presence because all thoughts go quiet. Not that I mind too much. I just myself drift off to sleep where there is nothing but blackness.

And the warmth of a body less than 2 feet away from me.

Taglist:

@jacks-on-krack @tbetz0341 @haleypearce @buckybarnesappreciationsociety @zestygingergirl

#bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky imagine #avenger #avengers #saving #writing #multipart #part4 #love #romance #kindaromanceifyoulookatitright #sebastian stan #marvel

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bibbleboo · 3 years

Note

Could we get some headcanons/more background on Abbey and Doyle’s kids? 🥺👉👈 I love the premise of this AU

YEEEEE (im just gonna ramble a bunch about the backstory i have so far but ill put it in bullets so its easier to follow lol i apologize for it being long as fuck-)

OKAY SO,,, first of all,,, doyle and abbey timeline,,,, [i am looking respectfully]

in this au, they get back together and have a sort of ‘lovers pretending to be enemies’ chaotic on again/off again hookup thing off to the side just between the two of them thru like Most of the final season, they try to keep it a secret (especially doyle who doubts the saturdays would be hAPPY if he was seeing her again) but in the end, saturdays ofc find out, probably are unsure about it at first, but she gains enough of their trust to be there for the big finale battle in the weird world mansion.

when shit goes down and argost becomes the vessel for the two opposing kurs (regular kur, and the anti kur from zak monday) and they like. explode his matter or w/e, i imagine instead of kur just completely disappearing, the ‘anti kur’ gets shot back to its universe, while original kur gets forced into a new vessel in this universe... the closest of which happens to be the unborn child abbeys unknowingly carrying. basically, what if the two kurs just LOOKED like they evaporated but actually did what happens when you try to like tape two same sides of a magnets together and they YEETED-

So thats how we have Parker, their firstborn daughter! and this... also implies ‘Parker Monday’ exists which. 8^) i havent thought about yet so forgive me on that but hoo,

they dont know parker is kur, they got no idea and rly just assume kur is gone for good. but after they find out abbeys pregnant (which is a huge emotional trip for both of them in its own right) they do eventually sort of agree they dont want their kid exposed to that whole world of mystery. like, ik its a vital thing to the whole family, and ik these two people were probably voted least likely to ‘settle down’ in high school, but i cant imagine they didnt escape the kur/zak situation without a LOT of trauma, so while the saturdays stay in the cryptozoology field, doyle and abbey slowly pull away from the mystery and mercenary stuff, and also instead of going for big dollar lifestyle settle with ‘independently wealthy’ parenting.

also, neither of them really . grasp the concept that theyve even started a family, and are ‘together’, and that this is REAL, until around when she gets pregnant with their second daughter, Kendall. and then theyre like. oh nooo wait are we actually like boyfriend and girlfriend EWW-

when kendall is born parker is 3, and the next like 10+ years are pretty smooth sailing. as far as what the kids know/see, they probably know the cryptids when theyre little but. (tw animal death sORRY TO BE DARK I JUST??????) idk,, how long komodo dragons live/how old komodo already is and i definitely dont know Anything about giant prehistoric birds and am not even sure if science knows that lifespan, so. im not sure how long they could really be in each others lives??? i almost imagine parker would have memories of them that she assumes she remembers wrong, like “oh yeah they used to have a lizard and a bird... my imaginative little kid brain thought they were a komodo dragon and a dinosaur”, and as for fisk im still working on it but i . actually kind of imagine he might have a much longer lifespan (since lemurians are like ancient or w/e? and also if hes by dna like a gorilla cat or w/e gorillas at least live long af) and also feel like once he got older and settled down a bit he might live somewhere in the woods, maybe even his old tree? and the saturdays see him ALL the time obviously, but hey zaks gotta go to college eventually, a gorilla cats gotta eat bugs in forest, we all have to grow up and leave the nest sometime,

so idk the last time parker has actually seen fisk and she might assume he was an imaginary friend or smth but, 1. if i do write a fic they absolutely have to meet again, 2. overall the vibe is they know the saturdays are cryptozoologists, like, the same way josh gates does destination truth, seeking answers and studying, they dont really. know that theyre REAL. to them its like, a hypothetical science. (this is also part of why they dont realize parker is kur, she isnt around cryptids and therefore whenever her powers would actually show up they wouldnt be recognized) anyways parker isnt embarrassed or put off by it but just thinks its a little wacky, meanwhile kendall is obsessed with the world of mystery/paranormal/cryptic lol

speaking of the girls personalities;;;

parker is like. not really normie/preppy, even if she seems it at first glance, shes nice and has a good head on her shoulders but also is a teenage girl (inherently unhinged) and shes THEIR teenage girl (+5 feral) so despite her success and charm shes also very witty/crass when she wants to be, and deep down shes closer to the kind of person that would on pure inexplicable instinct put something random in your mouth when you’re yawning so you bite down on it afterwards. or like. that video of the girl singing in the bathroom while her friends curl their hair and she grabs the curler to use as a microphone before realizing its burning hot??? shes. the voice of reason, but the voice is usually shrieking in fear, making a cursed joke, or half the time whatever shes saying is actually smart. she kinda wants to go to college and travel, but struggles with indecisiveness and anxiety, so she has no idea where to go, what to major in, etc. and is again kinda just livin thru the typical teen life in that regard

kendall on the other hand is like. weird kid culture, the kind of kid that believes they are secretly a new supernatural creature each year (mermaid phase, werewolf phase, alien phase, etc), probably completely accidentally starts cults or witch covens at school (didnt realize teaching peers how to become ‘blood brothers’ and ‘make potions’ from puddles and stolen school supplies would be taken so seriously by parents) , very into emo/scene/punk/alt culture but not rly in an overtly dark/edgy way, more of a having fun and expressing self way. she wants answers for everything, really loves mysteries and being open minded, and definitely a rebel/adventurer at heart, even if she gets naive or in over her head sometimes.

the girls get along well! parker is not dismissive of kendall she just. isnt really into the same stuff/is more freaked out by it most of the time, but she would tag along on certain adventures, especially if it was to keep her safe. and kendall definitely directs gentle mockery towards parker a lot but does see her as a good role model and guiding figure, their bond is really strong!

other details !

doyle and abbey prob decide to say fuck it and get married after kendall is born, they probably have a few rough patches but nothing is more important to them than the kids now and in the end they understand each other better than anyone else so . canon tension idk her! family ftw! power couple! they intimidate the teacher during parent teacher conferences together hand in shady little hand !

their parenting style is exactly what one would imagine, 70% fun and sass and controlled chaos where theyre the bigger children than their children, 15% ‘this is how you hack the government and dual wield swords-- i was not supposed to teach you that im sorry’, and 15% actual guidance / emotional depth / etc. flaws might be overcoming their own immaturity for the first few years, and then being lowkey overly protective (while claiming they arent, but just bc you semi jokingly tell parker she should join the football team doesnt mean you dont actually hide 60% of ur life from her and check that her bedroom windows are locked every night and have 24 people listed in her school emergency contacts and used to cut up her food till she was 7 and-)

so abouT THE BABY BOY (Phoenix), 1. his middle name is leonidas bc im gay and i love emotional turmoil babes , 2. fully unironically the idea behind such a late pregnancy is abbey would be mid fourties when hes born right. so like. [has two kids] ‘ok birth control time’ [when theyre teens many years later] ‘ok im old enough to stop taking this’ [the hyperfertility curse that plagues many women rears its ugly head with one last hoo-rah]

and finALLY a very quick elevator pitch of what id write an actual fic to focus on;;; kendall sneaks into the attic to look for old shit bc they BOTH know their parents have been hiding stuff over the years, she finds things like a cryptopedia (now offline), the claw, maybe even a piece of the kur stone, and ropes parker into the long haul of figuring out what all this stuff is. and ofc the second they ever find the naga relic and parker comes face to face with it, [rest in rip] time for mom and dad to find out and all this kur shit to start ALL over again-

#long post/ //#tw animal death ment//#GOD THIS IS SO LONG IM SRY--#idk what to call thsi au forreal yet so ill just tag it as #dabbey baby au #TY FOR ASKING THO HEART HANDS

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sadlittlenerdking · 6 years

Text

Magnetic

The Magicians

Pairing: Queliot

Word Count: 2.2k

Summary: After everything settles, Quentin and Eliot find some time to discuss what they really see when they touch the truth key.

“So,” Quentin starts, leaning in the door frame, looking in on an Eliot who’s finally alone, and somehow lying in Quentin’s bed.

Eliot looks up, frowning, “I can’t believe they gave my room away. To Todd of all people!”

Quentin chuckles, “Just give it some time. When magic comes back Todd’s room will reappear and you’ll have your room back.” He moves into the room, wringing his hands together. Part of him is unsure how to act around Eliot anymore.

They’re the same, but it’s been so long, and he’s missed him so much that having him here... just. Feels weird.

Right, but so weird.

“I’ll have to set that bed on fire and get a new one,” Eliot murmurs, leaning back against Quentin’s headboard.

Speaking of things that feel right but so weird...

Eliots in Quentin’s bed.

His skin goes warm as a flash of the last time they were here passes through him. The feel of soft warmth against his lips, heat all around, tugs at his hair... “I suppose.” Eliot glances down at his lap, “It is nice that I finally get a moment to myself, though.”

Quentin’s heart plummets as he stops in place, “Oh,” he says, nodding erratically, “Right. I—I’ll go—“ he starts to turn around, something heavy in his chest, but Eliot sits up straighter. “What? Why?”

“You said—“

“Q,” Eliot says, slow like he wants to make absolute certain Quentin can’t misunderstand him, “When I say I want to be alone—that doesn’t include you.” He makes a face, eyes widening a fraction as his chin tilts downward, “Sit down.”

Quentins breath hitches, but he hesitates, and Eliot huffs, patting the place on the bed next to him, “Honestly, Q, I’ve had an incredibly trying past few days so if you don’t sit down I may actually resort to violence.”

His eyes dart down to where Eliot’s hand is on the bed, and imagines those hands are back in his hair, ghosting along the back of his neck or holding fierce, and nods, shaking the thought away as he plops down on the bed next to him. “Good boy.”

They’re silent for a few long minutes. It’s nice. Quentin can feel the heat radiating off of Eliot’s in the places they’re closest— their thighs and arms are barely an inch apart. It’s practically electric.

“Did you see anything?” Eliot finally asks, leaning his head back against the headboard and turning to look at him.

“Huh?” Quentin blinks away memories, returning the look.

“When you touched the key. Other than Penny.” He shrugs a shoulder, “You said it makes you see the truth.”

God, did he see anything?

How does he say, Yeah. You were shimmering gold and ever since all I can do is feel your lips on my skin, and your fingers in my hair. All I can see is you, Eliot. Jesus Christ I was so blind before—

“Not really,” he says instead, swallowing thick. “Just Penny.”

Eliot hums thoughtfully.

“What?” Eliot doesn’t respond, so Quentin twists around to face him. “Did you see something other than Penny?”

“I would have said so if I had.”

“No you wouldn’t.”

The corners of his mouth quirk up as he nods, “That’s fair.” He looks down at Quentin’s hands, “Are we going to be honest with each other for once, Q?”

Quentin’s breath hitches again as he follows Eliot’s gaze. “Aren’t we always?” “Maybe on the surface. But no, not really.” He glances back up from beneath his eyelashes, “Not about the important shit.” His hand inches forward, and Quentin wants to leave his there just to feel Eliot’s touch again but he finds himself pulling away and standing up.

“That’s not—we don’t keep anything—I’m—that’s ridiculous, El,” he paces at the side of the bed as he stutters, “We—you’re the only person that I—“ he falters, face falling as he focuses in on Eliot again, “I fucking missed you.”

Eliot tilts his head before sighing, something tells Quentin he’s disappointed in him, and nodding, “I missed you, too. Which is why you need to sit back down, so we can spoon like the grown ass men we are.” Quentin opens his mouth but Eliot raises a hand, “And before you ask—I’m the small spoon. I was chased by cannibals and almost killed by pirates. I need some good spooning action.” “Don’t you want to—“

“Spoon? Yes, absolutely.”

“But—“

“Quentin.”

There’s something about him using his full name that has Quentin moving without another word and climbing back into the bed. He doesn’t miss Eliot’s small smile as they adjust until Eliot’s lying with his back against Quentin’s chest. He reaches back and pulls Quentin’s arm around his waist.

There’s a moment after they settle. Where Quentin thinks, this is it. This is where he belongs. Maybe Alice is right about magic, they don’t need it. It is what keeps separating them. It’s like the universe has something against him and Eliot being in the same room. But without Magic...

Without Magic Eliot wouldn’t be forced to stay in Fillory. They could just be in each other’s lives—

—except for the fact that Eliot feels a duty to his people in Fillory and as selfish as Quentin can be, he can’t take that from him. Can’t take away the thing that gives Eliot purpose.

“Jesus, Q,” Eliot grumbles, “I can practically hear you thinking.”

“Sorry.”

Eliot sighs, again, and adjusts until he’s spinning around to look at Quentin. His own arm slides over Quentin’s waist, and he’s eye level with him, head resting on the pillow opposite Quentin.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

Eliot pinches the skin on his hip. “We’ve been separated for I don’t even care to know how long, Q. Don’t lie to me. Some lies I’ll take because I know—“ he shakes his head, “Just. Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m... thinking about if we just. Don’t get magic back.”

Eliot quirks an eyebrow, “Really? You love magic.”

“I do. But it—“ he closes his eyes, can barely handle looking into the familiar brown across from him anymore, “It has a—a habit. Of taking the things I care the—the most for.”

The hand on his hip flattens, rubs at the skin revealed by Quentin’s shirt hiking up. “Q...”

He takes a leap and opens his eyes. “Magic constantly—it’s like we’re the kind of magnets that aren’t allowed to touch, sometimes.”

“You consider me—“

“Don’t be an idiot.” Hurt clashes behind Eliots eyes but Quentin barrels on before he can pull away, “Yes. Obviously.”

Eliots quiet for a long moment and Quentin’s sure he’s somehow already fucked this up and he’s only had him back for a few hours, but then he’s closing his eyes. “Q,” he says, soft, in a very un-Eliot way, “What did you see when you touched the key?”

“I told you—“

“Q, it’s okay,” he breathes it out like it’s taking everything in him not to scream, and opens his eyes. His hand slides up Quentin’s side, over his arm, until it’s gliding into the nape of Quentin’s neck. His thumb grazes against the vein there, and Quentin’s whole body freezes as he closes his eyes just to feel the touch. “It’s okay.”

“El...”

“Do you know how furious I was?” Eliot asks, “When they told me about the messenger rabbits? I could have sent word to you that I was okay—we could have had a way to talk this whole time. I could have known you were okay.” Quentin swallows, opening his eyes. “I—“

“Nope. This is another tale—I’ll call this one... Eliot Touched the Truth Key and Saw What He Already Knew.” He raises an eyebrow, “Good? Saving questions for the end?” Quentin nods. “Good.” He pauses, taking a moment to just look at Quentin, his eyes going soft as they look him over. “It’s still there,” he murmurs, “Not completely, obviously. But it’s—“ he pauses again. “I’m going to say something that’s going to implode our friendship.”

Fuck.

“Please don’t—“

“Why not?”

“What?”

He shuffles closer, “Why not?” He repeats the question, slower.

“I thought you were telling—“

“This one we both know the ending so there’s no point. I like a captive audience. Not one ignoring my story.” He smiles, “You know I love the attention.”

“El...”

“I love you.” He shrugs a shoulder as Quentin closes his eyes. “You know that. Everyone with half a brain knows that. The margolem that you obliterated knows that.” He pauses, waiting for Quentin to open his eyes. “Q.”

Quentin’s heart pounds in his chest like a fucking jackhammer as he opens his eyes again.

Eliot offers a small smile, leaning in until he’s a breath away from Quentin’s face. His hand moves around towards the back of his neck, gripping it tight and warmth shoots down Quentin’s spine. “When I touched the key, I just saw you for a minute. Standing all by yourself just—staring at me. Watching me. And cliche—because what magic isn’t fucking cliche these days—as it is, you were... how do I put this without sounding absolutely ridiculous?”

“Gold?”

Eliot starts, eyebrows furrowing as he pulls away a little. “Now how would you know that if you didn’t see anything?”

“A—a hunch?”

“Q.” He sighs, pulling away and Quentin nearly weeps as he takes all the warmth with him, “What the fuck are you so scared of?”

Quentin bites down on his lower lip as Eliot pulls himself up to sit against the headboard and stare down at him. “Because—I,” His jaw trembles, “I don’t—I cant—it—I’m a fuck up, El—“

Eliot scoffs, “Join the club, Q. I’ve got a plaque for all my fuck ups.”

“Every... relationship—I can’t risk...” He trails off, turning to look up at him. Why is this so hard? Why can’t he just say—“I can’t risk losing you.”

Oh.

Eliot seems frozen for a moment before he’s leaning down, hand coming back to the back of Quentin’s neck. “Q,” he murmurs, “I’m like a very fine wine. You can drink me up til I’m gone, but there’s going to be another, very expensive, very beautiful bottle tucked away somewhere.”

“Wine runs out—that. That’s a terrible analogy.”

“You come up with something better, then. As you know, I’ve been through a lot the last few days. Excuse me if I’m not poetic about telling you that no matter how much you fuck up I’m not going anywhere.” He pauses, pensive, “Actually, no. That works.” He takes a deep breath and continues, “You’ve had your fair share of... bad decisions. But I haven’t walked away, yet. Have I?”

“No, but—“

“In fact, I distinctly remember becoming a reigning monarch to help you defeat the beast.”

“—Wait, that was—“

“And, that somehow turned out being one of the best things I could’ve done.” He pauses, “By some weird ridiculous, miraculous twist.”

“I—“

He shakes his head, “Q,” he murmurs, shuffling back down onto the bed and lying down to face him, “Do you love me?”

“When did you stop being afraid of your feelings?”

Eliot scoffs, reaching in between them to grab at one of his hands, “I wish,” he mutters as he brings it up to his chest and holding Quentin’s hand above where his heart is, “I’m on the verge of a heart attack. But we need to have this conversation. I’ve got a fairy queen being an absolute twat wagon, a best friend lost in Fillory, a fully grown daughter—“

“Yeah what is that even—“

“A whole ‘nother beast entirely, Q. What I’m saying is I’ve got a lot of shit on my royal plate, but this comes first. You come first. Even when it doesn’t seem like it... you’re at the top of my to do list. Literally and figuratively.”

Quentin snorts out a laugh and pulls himself in closer to Eliot. “Q.”

“You know I do,” he breathes, the words barely audible. But Eliot hears them, Quentin knows he does, because the fingers on his neck flex for a second and then Eliot’s hauling him in again, and Quentin’s tucking his chin in he nap of Eliot’s neck. “I think—you’ve known longer than I have.”

Eliot chuckles into Quentin’s hair, “Q, I’ve known from the moment I saw you stumble onto the grass that first day that you’d fall in love with me.”

“Hey—!”

Eliot pulls away, just enough to smile down at him. “What? I’m a catch.”

Quentin’s stomach flutters as he rolls his eyes. God, it’s so surreal having him here. Holding and being held by him. Finally saying what’s been there, beneath the feelings for Alice, and the fear and fight or flight instincts. Admitting it and having it.

Jesus Christ. All it took was magic disappearing.

He’s about to respond, but Eliot leans, the small space between them dissipating as his lips brush against Quentin’s.

And fuck, it feels like Quentin’s on fire, the way his whole body ignites with the kiss.

God, he’s missed him.

Eliot pulls away first, pressing his forehead to Quentin’s, “God, I’ve missed you,” he whispers, eyes fluttering shut.

Quentin smiles his first real smile in months and pushes forward to kiss him again.

He doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to stop. And if the soft, appreciate mewling that comes from Eliot at the contact is anything to go by—he doesn’t think Eliot’ll ever be able to, either.

#the magicians #queliot #quentin coldwater #eliot waugh #epiosde 3x04

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