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evertyun · 3 years

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ENDLESS - ♯choi yeonjun

PAIRING : choi yeonjun x reader

GENRE : ANGST , slight fluff (?) like 0.5%

WARNING : this is a work of fiction anything mention about the character involve are PURELY MADE UP , emotion manipulation (?) , descriptive emotion , swearing , cheating

SYNOPSIS : "we're just friends" little did he know, y/n knows the truth.

OTHERS : include of other idols & oc, the story is not a long one shot its more of the main event skipping until the present time.

"you know i love you right?" yeonjun whispered while stroking your hair softly, cuddle up on the couch together.

you hummed in respond, deep down in your heart, you know he went to her place before he came over. breathing in the smell of her perfume that is painted all over him.

you know that even if you talk about it, yeonjun will keep emphasising they are 'just friends' constantly, you've been through this talk so often to the point that you have given up worrying about her existence. but instead coping with it yourself...

you love yeonjun so much that no matter what he does, even if it hurts you, you're willing to let it all go.

once again both of you are screaming at each other trying to see who is louder

"seriously beomgyu again?" yeonjun sounded pissed

"what about you constantly soojin, soojin, soojin, and that's all you know how to say, when we're together" you look back at him

"for fuck sake y/n, why can't you understand soojin is just a friend stop worrying about it" he shouted again, your heart clenches just holding in your tearz

"i didn't even say anything about your re— no never mind." you were about to retaliate the reply

"i just wanted more time with you" mumbled softly holding in your tears looking down not knowing if he heard your or not.

he stood there looking at you when his phone rang, he looked at the id caller and picked up, and you're just watching his every move

"oh hey whats up?" "i will be there asap" just two sentences only "im leaving" he lets you know and just take his hoodie and car key and left instantly not even checking up on you.

he really left...

"just fucking drop him" beomgyu said as he comfort you with your best friend yeeun

"you don't get it, i can't" the continuous sobbing from you as all of you walk along the pavement of han river park.

"you can do this y/n" yeeun whisper as she pat your back while you were still crying

what would you do without beomgyu and yeeun, constantly being there for you. the fact beomgyu and yeonjun are best friend as well...

"hey, y/n, i just want you to know if it ever gets too hard just know you are not alone" yeeun said while walking towards your apartment with beomgyu

"thank you..." was the last word for the night

some nights were different, but those some nights became a daily routine each day goes by you get more numb but each night you cry too...

he doesn't come by often anymore, maybe once a week but he do leave in less than an hour or two. you could tell from all the excuses he gives you it can go as far to made up lies such as "beomgyu asked me to fetch him home" "soobin forgot his keys" "taehyun left his gloves i need to bring"

"kai asked me to get him panadol he is having bad headache sorry i gotta go, love you babe" tonight was no different, he left so quickly.

but its amazing how he left his phone at your coach, you hold on to his phone debating to unlock it or not to. curiosity gets the best of you, you slide and key in the password he told you before.

'wrong password' he changed it

the phone vibrates the notifications pops up

soojin: i love you too

soojin: but i've reached dalkkom

soojin: im at the corner table see you <3

your heart clenches, so bad when you heard a knock. you walked towards and saw yeonjun as he let himself in and just retrieved his phone and gave you a peck on your forehead then he left.

the extra miles he goes for her, but never once for you, he cared for you once but not anymore. and yet the endless time you gave in

"babe i missed you so much i've been so busy with uni lately" yeonjun hugged you tightly, with his other friends watching the both of you. the look on beomgyu face was so unreadable as though he wanted to flip yeonjun over

"also i asked a friend to tag alone, after all y/n would be the only girl and i was afraid she would feel uneasy so i got one of my friend to tag along" yeonjun added as he let go of you

"yeeun is coming??" beomgyu said in sarcasm knowing too damn well soojin would show up instead

"it's probably soojin" you mumbled out

"what?? who now??" kai and taehyun said in unison

the way all his friends knew about the situation but none of them dare to confront yeonjun. they promise to never let girls come inbetween them and that was the reason

"sorry im late!" a female voice spoke, you turn to look at her

she is everything you are not. insecurity hits, her long silky black hair, her pretty orbs and well shaped lips.

then again,

if he is happy so are you...

soobin could tell you look upset, but what hurt the most was seeing both yeonjun and soojin having fun while you were there broken.

he never looked at you not even once that day, just glued onto her.

its clear enough that he has slipped away from you, its so clear but yet you refused to believe.

"i don't get why is he holding on to you if its clear he loves her?? just what the flying fuck??" yeeun said, its been nearly a year since this whole incident happen

its insane how you manage to hold on even though you clearly know that you are not the one and will never be the one.

the first time yeeun send you a picture of them together at the arcade holding hands. that picture was pure evidence he loved her. its so clear and so loud that you are just a second option.

months goes by you lose yourself, for constantly loving him even though he wouldn't return the affection to you. you were lovesick and tired, you took your friends word in to consideration.

it happens so often, he never showed up to your birthday, or even wished you. you're tired and numb so numb to go through it. he stop texting everyday with excuses that is so bad.

heartbreak . you want to be happy you realise your worth

[next paragraph might be a little too dramatic or to descriptive of insecurity and emotion]

today is the day... (present)

"lets break up" you let out, while both of you were cuddling up to each other

he look at you in the eye all he see was vulnerability, he let go of you without saying much. he know too damn well what he did, but never once did he regret until today in the very couch in your living room.

"wait why? babe, are you okay?" he asked looking at you with concern, you looked at the hickey on his neck that you know he tried to hide and back to his face return a smile to him

"i've hold up for so long, i can't do this anymore" you told him, deep down you just wanted to scream out 'just kidding' . because the look on his face look so genuine and broken as though he really did love you, but you don't want him to go through all the pain

choi yeonjun please get an oscar award. the way he reacts to you, not wanting to let you go. your heart aches so much. you got up from the couch and took your phone.

"please don't let me give in again, i took so much courage to finally let you go" you were holding back your tears, as you unlock your phone to the picture yeeun send you.

it wasn't just one picture but an album? some from beomgyu and some from his very own roommate soobin. the look on his face was clear that he couldn't use the "we're just friends" reason anymore.

"y/n... how long" was all he let out. the picture shown were as long as 5-6 months ago. all he wants to know, was how could you still love a cheater for that long

"it doesn't matter, it never did." you mumbled loud enough for him to hear

"i love you, y/n i feel so bad, please give me a chance, i will change i swear i can't bear to lose you." the guilt in his voice, but apologising was never on his mind

its driving you insane, by the way he could say i love you so easily.

"god yeonjun, i hate you so fucking much, all the i love you, you know too damn well i would give in, why are you doing this to me?" you let out along with you tears, he just look at you all empty

"y/n..."

the more you look at him the more you want to give in

"my love for you was endless and i thought it ended i guess it never did. maybe i am not feeling well tonight" you gave in, and you hated it so much.

guess you couldnt leave him after all

"y/n, just let me explain" he tried to reason out

"there's nothing to explain but... what does she have!?" you really went ahead to compare yourself to her "maybe her long silky hair, or her petite figure maybe her big round eyes, or even he beautiful lips, she has it all yeonjun you don't have to explain because if i were you, i do fall for her too.."

looking at the nearest scissor you grab it, yeonjun was in utter shocked he tries to grab the scissors before you but its was too late

"y/n please don't, we can jus-" before he was about to finish the sentence you cut your hair "look i don't have long silky hair anymore am i still pretty?" then you proceeded to scratch yourself and your face making sure it has some marks for you to regret tomorrow "oh no my face-"

"FOR FUCK SAKE Y/N STOP CAN WE JUST TALK!?" he finally shouted, you flinched and look back at him with built up emotions

"NO WE CANT I WILL GIVE IN, I WILL HATE MYSELF JUST... , I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH YEONJUN" you cried and scream out loud hoping her heard you loud enough maybe even your neighbour heard you out loud.

"y/n, im sorry" he walk towards you as he grab the scissors from your hand and he hugged you tight, its been so long since you felt this sincere feeling from him. and it hurts more than it felt good.

you pushed him away, and remove yourself from his embrace

"im going to sleep now, you can see yourself out" you left straight to your room. why just why you can never stop...

you looked up at the ceiling finally crying. cursing at yourself, he probably left to find soojin or even his friends for snitching on him. his move was so unpredictable too unexpected.

opening the door to your room he sat next to your bed. "y/n, it was a mistake i should never have taken you for granted im sorry. i love you i can't bare to lose you." pretending to be asleep not replying to whatever he says

he walked closer to you and gave a light peck on your forehead. you couldn't hold it in and tears fall, the guilt yeonjun felt was unbearable.

his phone buzz as he look down on to his phone and back to you, "i have to go and clean up the mess i've made" said looking at your "sleeping" figure

he stood up and right when he was about to leave, you grab his wrist instinctly

"the tightness in my chest, its so suffocating, but i love the feeling, because i know you're happy out there and having fun and that's what i want you to feel... to be happy, but if you really love me just let me go that's the least you could do"

he look at his wrist the one you are holding

"no y/n.." he really didn't want to let go his voice holds so much guilt,

"if its meant to be we will find our way back to each other again, i promise because i know i could never hate you even if you hurt me the most" you let go of his wrist finally.

he stood there looking at you for another minute or two and he finally left your room.

"maybe 1 more chance for change doesn't hurt at all"

even after all you have been through you still consider to put him above you.

a/n: i don't think it's my best but i will work on it, seems very rush but also sorry for spelling and english error as mention its not my first language;-;

#txt #txt imagine #txt imagines #txt yeonjun #yeonjun imagines #yeonjun x reader #txt x reader #txt scenarios #txt scenario #txt fanfic #txt ff #fanfic #kpop angst

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yinses · 3 years

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kinds of tattoo artists

|jjk edition|

rqst: after sukuna i cant staph thinking about what the others would be like as tattoo artist

a/n: these are probably my favorite things to write. i love the format.

G O J O S A T O R U — he has a story for every tattoo ever. one’s he owns, seen and inked himself. they could all be true, but you find the vibrating hum of the needle against your skin easier to ignore when you focus on the vivid imagery of his tales instead. he’s a very good storyteller, never skimping on the details and adding comical commentary around every corner. you connect the threads of each narrative to the accompanying bold lines stretching up the length of his arms. swirls and various shades making for very convincing illustrations to the novel he’d created. before you know it, your hour is up, cutting his retelling just short of the art peeking under his shirt. you could get lost in those baby blues as they twinkle with mischief. they leave you so wrapped up in strings of intrigue that you actually consider a second tattoo despite your hesitations of the first. he looks proud of his work, and should be, deserving off all five stars you planned to give on his review. “don’t like it too much. tattoos can be pretty addicting, after all.” he remarks as he rubs cream into your swollen flesh. yeah, you think, addicting was the right word.

G E T O S U G U R U — the look he gives you when you tell him it’s your first is almost enough to make you reconsider. it’s not rude but there is a hint of condescension as he coaxed you to go into more details about location and coloring. ultimately, you end up in his chair anyways, lip bitten as he goes about preparing supplies. the point of no return comes all too quickly as he peels the sterile needle from the one use pack. “i would offer to let you hold my hand but-” you look up from the skin pinched between two of his fingers to the same smug grin that had greeted you at the door. something on his face must have changed, because slowly so did his as he breathes out a sigh. he surprise you by guiding one of your hands just above his knee, fingers squeezing around yours once before pulling away. “if it gets to be too much squeeze hard but don’t jump. id rather give you a breather than have you pass out on me.”

I T A D O R I Y U U J I — if anyone was going to do your tattoo, you’re glad it’s your boyfriend. he’s more patient than most artist would be. attentive to every squirm and flinch and mindful how a single twitch could leave you with a permanent mishap. you’re going nearly thirty minutes over what was expected, but he’d scheduled out an ample block of time prior, mindful of your skepticism. “hey, hey, we’re almost done,” he mutters, hand stopping when he notices the water behind your eyes. “want to stop, baby?” you do. want the endless burn to finally go away, but you want to finish it equally as bad so you steel your nerves and shake your head. something akin to pride curls at the corners of his lips as he starts back up the motor but not before pressing a quick kiss to yours. “it’s going to look beautiful on you. just you wait. it’ll be worth it.” and you believed him.

F U S H I G U R O M E G U M I —he’s not one for conversation, choosing to rather concentrate on his work than idle chatter. but he doesn’t seem to mind if you do. and so you find yourself talking about any and everything as the clock ticks on. the entire process is almost cathartic. pent up tension escaping you with every word and each pin point of the needle etching away at your skin. this was suppose to be your bold change. something different to stamp a revision on your life while mounting a memorial of your past. or at least that was the speech used to butter yourself up to the idea. at the end of it all, you’re staring at something better than you’d imagined, and dont delay telling him as much. your words ignite a blush that crawls up his nape, barely hidden by the sheepish hand rubbing over the skin. “i-uh... don’t mind doing your next one. if you want one to remember your friend by.” he’s already turning away from your blink of shock, throwing care instructions over his shoulder as he prepares the bandage.

F U S H I G U R O T O J I — it comes as a surprise, because he’s the owner. something pointed out to you by a friend when you’d accompanied them to the shop in the past. he only took on special guests, you’d been told. spending half a day bent over a customer completing yet another work of art that keep the business in high praises. he didn’t bother with the small things. so why he the one offering to pierce the little stud above your naval? eventually you would get a tattoo but you weren’t quite ready to take the plunge. but you’d been eying the cute studded crystal since your last visit. it looks as good as you thought it would, twinkling bright under the hooded lamp. he seems to think so too a thumbs over the tender flesh just above the piercing. “you were so good for me. not even a flinch.” you found yourself caught staring at the sharp cut stretching across both lips as they work into a smile. “you’ll have to come back and let me mark you up for real.”

C H O S O —he thinks you’re cute as you stumble through the explanation of your design. accommodating but insistent when you began to doubt yourself. ultimately, your idea hadn’t changed but you felt it lacking as you stared at the temporary imprint reflected in the mirror. you were his last appointment of the day, and surely eating up his time, but he refused to let you just go through with it. there was a light scold in his voice as he rubbed alcohol against your skin to wipe away the markings. “if you’re going to do this, we’re going to do this right.” you should have been halfway through your tattoo now as the neighboring stations close down for the day. but he waves away your timid glances as he nudges a new sketch book your way. in a way showing you his work had been somewhat counterintuitive, rather than help you settle on a design, you’d been overwhelmed and visibly intrigued by the numerous portraits and motifs. you spent more time compliment the his steady hand for being able to produce such detailed works than you’d progressed to coming any closer to honing in on your own tattoo. eventually he’s the one to call it a night, chasing away your frown with an offer. “tomorrow’s my day off. why don’t you meet me at the cafe around the corner and we can brainstorm this with the help of caffeine.”

#gojo satoru x reader #megumi fushiguro x reader #geto suguru x reader #toji fugiguro x reader #choso x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #Jujutsu Kaisen #jjk imagine #gojo x reader #megumi x reader #yuuji x reader #geto x reader

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absolutelyfizzing · 3 years

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potions class confessions (james potter x reader)

description - Reader is a potions natural and she gets paired up with James in class. While trying to make conversation they both let it slip that they might have a crush on each other. oops?

word count - about 1800

warning - Fluff!! avoidance and awkwardness, James being maybe a little shy ooc. Reader is a badass. House not specified but non Gryffindor is implied. Some negative self talk. There is also wolfstar!

MASTERLIST

Potions was by far your favorite class. The professor loved you and you had it with Gryffindor. This meant that you got to see him. James Potter. The golden boy of his year. You knew he was probably out of your league but you were pretty badass as well if you did say so yourself. You had top marks and were the seeker of Y/H. You were also widely liked, even though you weren't as loud or outspoken as the troublesome group of four in Gryffindor house. Your attention was drawn to your professor when he began to call out partners for the next couple weeks of the course. Your heart nearly stopped when he said you would be partners with none other than James Potter. Your heart picked up speed. You had a crush on the boy but you knew he was deeply infatuated with the beautiful Lily Evans of his own house. You knew better than to try to compete.

You looked over to where he sat with his friends and they were all giving him looks and shoving his shoulders. You thought they might be making fun of him for having to be partnered with you. You felt heat rise to your cheeks. He looked over and you made eye contact. Both of you looked away as quickly as possible and your cheeks darkened in color.

By the middle of class you had all migrated into your potion pairs and your assignment was to make a very simple healing potion that you could make in your sleep. It was more for practice than anything else. You hadn't spoken a word to James and he seemed unusually quiet. You had a suspicion that he didn't like you. He got pretty quiet whenever you were around and he sometimes would even leave the room when you entered. You didn't know why he didn't like you but you pressed on. And your crush persisted nonetheless.

"Quit staring at me, you're making me nervous." You mumbled as you began pouring in ingredients but you could feel his gaze on the side of your head.

You didn't look up when you heard him mutter a small, "Sorry." It was a short response and your heart sped up a bit at even the sound of his voice. Oh you were whipped and he wouldn't even talk to you.

"Do you wanna do this next part? You should participate if you want full marks on the assignment but I can keep going if you want me to." You offered, finally looking up at him. He was taller than you but his eyes were piercing. You held the spoon out a bit for him to take if he wanted and he smiled a bit at you before grabbing it. His hand brushing against yours had your heart fluttering and you thought you might just throw up. You both stared at the potion as James began to stir and he counted his rotations. When he got to 20 you threw something else in and he began to stir again, counting to 20 again. It was a bit tedious and ridiculously quiet.

"So, are you looking forward to the match tomorrow?" you tried to find a common discussion topic. He smiled a bit and took the spoon out of the cauldron. You looked to the clock and began the countdown of 5 minutes for the potion to sit before the next step.

"I'm very much looking forward to it. We are for sure gonna beat Y/H" he looked over at you slyly. You gasped dramatically.

"How dare you! I will have you know that I have caught the snitch in every match this year but one and that was because your beater hit me early in the game. I will be beating you tomorrow." You smirked. He looked at you with amusement in his eyes and he giggled a bit. He wasn't nearly as cocky alone as he was in large crowds.

"You're probably right. Our seeker is a bloody dud and it's unfair that we have to deal with him while Y/H has you, you're the best seeker Hogwarts has had in 50 years." He smiled at you, his volume matching yours, louder than your previous murmurs. You blushed under his gaze and under the praise that you hadn't expected. You thought he would tease you back instead of showering you with compliments.

"Flattery wont make me go easier on you, Potter. I'm still going to beat Gryffindor." you smiled., trying to bring the teasing back before the conversation got too serious and you revealed something you weren't supposed to. His eyes sparked at you and he smiled for a second longer before breaking your eye contact and chuckling.

"It was worth a try." He grinned, "You know, Remus was jealous I got to be your potions partner cause you're such a genius in potions and he's got to deal with stumble-y over there. " he nodded over to where you could see Remus trying to corral Sirius away from their cauldron as Sirius was a bit notorious for dropping things that happened to cause explosions. You laughed and blushed at the compliment.

"You do just fine on your own but thank you." You tried to calm your heart rate a bit. "Are they dating?" you questioned genuinely, still gazing at the duo across the room. You had seen them in the halls standing a bit close for friends and you thought you saw them holding hands once. James smiled like he was remembering something fondly and shakes his head.

"Not yet." he said simply. You quirked an eyebrow at him questioningly. "They've both got massive crushes on each other but refuse to see it. They'll figure it out eventually but for now its just endless flirting and it is downright exhausting." He said but all with a smile on his face, never an ounce of annoyance in his voice. "Have you had anyone catch your eye yet? I cant believe you aren't dating anyone." He continued to make conversation.

"I've thought about a few guys but the ones I like aren't the ones that like me." You tried to say lightly, avoiding eye contact with James. "But thats no big deal, I've got bigger things to worry about than who wants to take me to Hogsmeade next weekend or who's going to pick me up on the quidditch pitch when I've won that match tomorrow." You joked but James didn't really laugh.

"I want to." He looked at you before the timer you had set went off. Before you could say anything he started asking questions about what was next and you quickly threw the right ingredient in and stirred it three times. You raised your hand to call the professor over and while you were explaining your work you could feel James fidgeting behind you. The professor told you to sit tight the rest of class as you had finished early and you nodded at him before turning back to James.

"Are you pranking me or something?" You questioned lightly, already slightly upset that he would joke about something that you didn't want to joke about. You saw him look up into your eyes and furrow his eyebrows at you.

"No I'm not pranking you, why would you ask me that?" he asked, concern filled his voice. You looked down again and felt your heart pick up, your eyes stinging.

"Its just that I know that you have a think for Evans and I didn't know if you were kidding a second ago." you relied honestly. You felt a hand on yours before your pinkie was linked with his.

"I'm not pranking you. And I don't actually like Evans. I mean she's one of my best friends but me being in love with her was a rumor Sirius started as revenge for me telling Remus he liked him. I've.." He sighed a bit, "I've had a crush on you for a few years now actually." he looked sad. You moved so you were fully holding his hand and you squeezed.

"Look, if you're serious then I would love to go to Hogsmeade with you, I've liked you for a significant amount of time, I just don't want you to feel like you have to cause you pity me or something." you mumbled the last part. James looked at you inquisitively.

"Why would I pity you? As I've said you're the best seeker I've ever seen at Hogwarts and you can properly kick my ass in any class we happen to be in. And I promise I'm only half trying to get you to go easy on the match tomorrow." you smiled at the end and you chuckled a bit.

"Okay then, will you go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend?" You questioned, a bit more sure of yourself.

"Of course I will. I was also hoping I could steal a tie or two so I can properly represent when i'm at your matches. When you aren't actively crushing my team, that is." he smiled and your heart soared.

"I guess we will have to make a trade." you smiled and as soon as class let out you walked hand in hand into the corridor.

"Finally! Took you long enough, mate." you heard the voice of the raven haired boy behind you as he stood rather close to his not-yet-boyfriend. He pushed James a bit in the shoulder and held his hand out to Remus. Remus sighed and handed him a galleon.

"You couldn't have waited to make it official until the Hogsmeade trip? You've just cost me a galleon." he teased and you both laughed a bit.

"You should have let me in on the bet before hand and I could have kept it professional for another week." you smiled and James pushed you a bit from the side and you all laughed.

You looked over at him and his smile was so wide it made his eyes nearly close. You took a deep breath as you finished laughing and you started to pull him toward the dining hall where you were planning on getting dinner. His hand left yours and instead snaked up to you head so he could push your hair to press a kiss to the side of your head and you blushed deeply. You couldn’t have cared less when you heard a gagging sound behind you from the best friends of the man you hoped to be with for a longtime.

#james x reader #james potter #james potter imagine #james potter x reader #harry potter #harry potter imagine #hp imagine #hp fluff #fluff #imagine #james imagine #wolfstar #the marauders #marauders x reader #marauders imagine

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souljoon · 3 years

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Like a fool (pt.1)

pairing: teacher!jungkook x cafe owner!reader word count: 2k genre: fluff, smut, ex lovers au warnings: sexual content, slight dom!jungkook, sub!reader, unprotected sex (stay safe loves!)

synopsis: Everyone in the neighborhood knows you and Jungkook will inevitably end up in a wedlock despite the complicated status of your on-and-off relationship. While you want to keep a civil relationship with him, Jungkook learned not to care about labels long ago since the first time you two broke up. Whatever you’d say, he intends to keep his place in your heart taken for the rest of your life.

~~~

“Your beau is here,” Jimin prompted behind you.

Without turning in his direction, your attention to the carrot cake remaining glued to the carrot cake you were currently frosting about.

At this point, you wouldn’t even be surprised to see Jungkook on the opposite side of your bed in the morning. He seems to find it amusing to see you evidently pissed whenever he’s around. How couldn’t you? He not only takes over Jimin’s job but he often causes a scene with the customers in the cafe—which, to fuel more of your unspoken frustration, are students from the nearby community college.

You couldn’t admit how the attention he was getting from people of different gender identities still bothers you despite the mutual decision to call the engagement off. You understand your ex-fiance is a very attractive man. And his charisma could probably stir attraction from married women regardless of their age.

Over the course of six years of a complicated relationship with him, you two had already been in two break ups in college, citing his laid back self in college and your endless insecurities that urged you to try to get away from him, from the spell he had on you.

While you decided to pursue your dream to start your own cafe business post-graduation, Jungkook surprisingly landed on a teaching job in Jung-do High School which is also located in the same neighborhood two years ago.

Footsteps are, again, back in the kitchen. “He just wore an apron. So I’m guessing he’s here until the shop closes.” It was Jimin, informing you yet again as if it was part of his job to report Jungkook’s every move to you.

This time, you sweep a brief glance behind. “Don’t let the counter vacant, Chim.” You say, cleaning up the cake board as a finishing touch to your masterpiece.

“He took over the counter, _____. How am I supposed to make him go away when he’s our own human advertisement. He’s attracting more customers!”

With a glare darted to his direction, you suggest, “Then I guess I should replace you with him, instead?”

Jimin visibly sulked, not really wanting to argue with you—his boss. “Fine!”

Six months. That’s how long you’ve been single since. Sure he had you wrapped around his fingers back then. But you wanted to prove to him and to yourself that you can live without him. However, it’s too impossible to keep up with it when he freely deems himself welcome wherever you are, maintaining his act of indifference toward the real score between you.

Intending to place the cake in the display, you finally went out of the kitchen-- ironically, just in time to run into him. Jungkook being the shameless ex-boyfriend that he is, took the cake in your hands.

He was wearing a gym class outfit— a pair of black adidas sweatpants, and a plain, white shirt over a black hoodie. If only you were not trying to stay as far as possible away from him, you’ll probably tease him about his own dress code. He doesn’t look like he just got out of his class as the teacher. He looked like he just went out of bed before he came here.

“Aren’t you supposed to be home?” You ask from behind him.

“I’m bored,” he simply replied.

“What do you mean you’re bored? Haven’t you just got off work?”

He spun around, startling you when you came face to face with him. If you couldn’t properly see his entire face before, you do now much to your annoyance.

He sighs. “I did. Look, I’m just helping Jimin-hyung out here. I won’t bother you, I swear.”

“You don’t have to because you’re not my employee, Kook.”

“Well, I could use some part time if you’re hiring.” Jungkook shrugs.

Here we go, again.

Your eyes narrowed to which roused him to raise his hands up defensively.

“Jagiya—”

“Lovebirds,” Jimin suddenly interrupts.

“What?!” You both snapped back at Jimin’s direction.

“Whoa, tone it down— you two. Restroom is right there in case you need to release the sexual tension. It’s getting intense out here.” He jests, making a shooing motions with his hands.

Jungkook wasted no more time and took it as his cue to grab your wrist, dragging you with him as he navigated the way past the kitchen into the storage room.

A temporary relief washes through you when Jungkook brought you in this enclosed, rather safe space instead of the restroom. However, dread slowly consumes your whole being when you hear the familiar sound of the knob locking.

Jungkook pivoted back, facing you. “Let’s talk here.”

Your eyes lingered down where his hand maintained his grasp around your wrist. “Why? There’s nothing else to talk about.”

“For the umpteenth time, I saw the landlord across the street like he was waiting for someone,”

You look up, quirking up an eyebrow at his sudden shot of a subject relating to Seokjin. “What’s your point?”

“I don’t trust him.” He deduces, childishly.

“What do you want me to do, find another leasing property? This shouldn’t concern you in the first place. You never once heard anything from me about Joohyun.” You mentally cursed, unable to stop yourself from mentioning the name of the woman he was seen in a restaurant a week ago.

“What’s Joohyun got anything to do with this?”

You scoff. “You know what, I don’t need to answer that. We’re not together anymore so it’s none of my business.”

Jungkook seized your attempt to leave, latching onto your arm just in time. As he pulls you back, you were met with the subtle amusement plastered obnoxiously on his face.

“We’re not done here, baby. So... Joohyun, really? My colleague?” A laugh slips out of him, seemingly pleased. You, on the other hand, felt insulted on his take of your serious remark. Your blood started rising up. So the rumors aren’t true?

You jerked away. Well... tried to, because your hand stayed locked around his firm grip. “Let me go, I need to go back to the kitchen.”

You stepped back when he abruptly inched forward. You were puzzled for a second, but when your back touched the surface of the door, you knew you fell from his trap as he steadied himself with his palms pressed flat above your head. You turned your face away, avoiding his heated gaze. But the gesture only gave Jungkook a room to nestle his head on the exposed skin of your neck.

The moment you felt his warm lips touch your skin, you squeezed your eyes shut. “You’ve been pretty good at keeping a safe distance from me, baby. You have no idea how much I fucking miss you, missed keeping you all to myself like this.” He expresses in a thick, sultry tone.

You shake your head, knowing full well what he meant. “We c-cant, Jimin is--”

“--not here.” He finishes, pressing his lower body against yours and teasing your sweet spot with a gentle suck. The bulge on his mid-region was enough to make your panties wet instantaneously and your body heats up too quickly.

“Jungkook,” his name slips out of your mouth.

“Please tell me you’re still in birth control.” He desperately murmurs against your skin on the curve of your neck.

You frantically bobbed your head, lost at the hot trail of kisses he’s leaving on your skin.

With an eager pull of the strings on his nape and back, he rids the apron off of his front followed by a swift pull of his sweatpants with his boxers, just enough to release his hard member.

Your mouth instantaneously watered at the sight of the maddeningly pink head and aroused length, thick and hard just the way you remembered it the last time Jungkook fucked you. It happened in his car three months ago. You were too intoxicated then to control yourself from jumping up into his lap as he drove you back to your apartment. To keep your pride intact, you tried to steer clear from repeating the same mistake again. Not when you’re not officially back together.

Right now, you’re too sexually neglected to care about anything.

“I want you in my mouth,” you beg, not believing you sounded incredibly hasty than you actually have estimated.

He swats your hand off when he sensed your hand extending towards his crotch, “I’d love to fuck your mouth baby, but we don’t have that much time. I need to be inside your pussy,” You felt his palms scooping you up through your butt, sandwiching you between his body and the door. Your legs automatically weaving around his hips to steady yourself.

Then pushes your underwear aside, “This is probably the only reason why I love you wearing skirts. Easy access—fuck baby, so tight.” He barely sank his cock in, yet you could already feel the sting of your walls as they stretch around him.

Your hand flew to the back of head, eager to bury your fingers beneath his curly locks.

Just as you part your mouth to speak to encourage more his entrance, he suddenly propels his hips forward, pushing his dick to the hilt which roused a cry from you.

“Fucking tight! I’m gonna break you so much you won’t ever forget about me. You understand, darling?”

“Yes, yes, please fuck me!” You cried out, reeling from both the sting of your muscles caused by his forceful entrance, and the familiar warmth filling you full.

Without bothering to warm you up, he began a breathtaking pace despite his overwhelming intrusion. You didn’t mind, though. In fact, his thrusts were making your moans irrepressible and your thighs tremble in delight.

Jungkook places his head between the valleys of your covered mounds, not missing his faint grunts, lost in his own pleasure.

“You like that, huh? You like the idea of being fucked outside, baby girl? I’ve had enough this bullshit,” He growls with a series of rough jerk of his hips, forcing a cry of his name out of you.

“That’s right, moan my name. Just wait until I get you all alone tonight, I’ll make sure you won’t ever think of breaking up with me. Do you hear me?” He warns darkly, emphasizing the severity of his threat with a shove of his dick so deep his tip was heavenly kissing your precious spot from your insides.

“Oh god,” you lamented, deliriously.

You could already feel the building up in your abdomen just as fast as he started rocking into you. You’ve known him long enough for you to easily sense it was the same for him too, concealing his moans with his mouth latched onto your prickly skin.

“That’s right. Come for me!” he grunted in between powerful thrusts.

His command did the trick, sending your body forward as you exploded, your walls tighten around him with each snap of his hips against your pelvis. Soon enough, he jerked off his load inside you with a growl rumbling on his chest.

Grimace creases on your expression as he cautiously pulls his cock out, following his load combined with your juices gushing out of your pussy down to the insides of your thighs.

Barely recovered from the earth shattering orgasm you had for the first time in three months, you heard a series of banging coming from the other side of the door.

“You done, lovebirds?” Your eyes clenched shut in realization, quietly plotting the assassination of some guy named Jimin.

“Thanks for ruining the moment,” Jungkook retorts back. “Not a problem. You guys seriously need to get the fuck out, I ran out of beans in the jar and try not fuck each other here next time, yeah?”

Amused with the scene unfolding, Jungkook casually pushes your underwear back to its place, smoothening your skirt down as if nothing inappropriate had occurred here. He kisses the tip of your nose, before turning the knob of the door.

Couldn’t this get any more embarrassing?

~~~

Thank you for reading and apologies for any spelling/ grammatical errors. I havent edited this yet. Part 2 will most likely be posted on Monday or Tuesday :)

#jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook #bts smut #bts fanfic #bts imagines

370 notes · View notes

yandere-wishes · 4 years

Text

💔Rotten Love💔 //Twisted Wonderland Yandere Idia Shroud X Yandere Eliza X Reader// Part 1

GIF made by the amazing @flowerofthemoonworld. Okay, so this story is really going to have a Persephone x Reader x Hades vibe to it. If we can get this to 160 likes before July 12 than I’ll release part 2. For now, my goal is to make it a 4 part story with a bonus 5th fluff chapter. Also for this story reader will be GENDER NEUTRAL.

WARNING: Gore, Angst

💙 👻💙 👻💙 👻💙 👻💙 👻💙 👻💙 👻💙 👻💙 👻💙 👻💙 👻💙

There was always a cold, nostalgic air in the Ignihyde dormitory, a sort of homey sensation that made Eliza's heart skip a beat. Sure the dorm was quiet and secluded, unlike the ghost kingdom, there was barely anyone to talk to. Most may have even described it as "lonesome" and "boring". But to princess Eliza who had waited more than five hundred years to be with her prince charming, it was unadulterated, homespun bliss. Of course, there was still something missing, a tiny puzzle piece that refused to fit in with the rest of its kind, a stubborn little piece it was, yet all too important to paint the picture of her perfect life. That mulish fragment came in the form of her newly wedded husband, Idia Shroud.

"Idia~"

The "young" princess sang as she skipped over to where her "husband" was sitting, his posture crooked, like that of a scrunched up cat's. His long slender fingers where typing rapidly on that bizarre rectangular device that he all too attached to. Way too attached to, for Eliza's liking.

Eliza nuzzled her visage into the crook of the bleached-skinned boy's neck, taking in his smokey, ash-like sent. Her icy colored arms wafted over his shoulders, enclosing them his a tight embrace. Her fingers dangled over where his heart was, feeling tiny fast-paced pulses that sent a pleased blush to her face. "Idia let's go for a walk near that river. Please, my love! You haven't left this room since the reception!"

The taller male barely turned to look at her, preferring to instead to keep his eyes locked on his glowing blue screen. "Still busy Eliza" his cold dead voice was always so sharp and monotone whenever he spoke to her. It felt like someone was reaching into her rib cage and squeezing her decaying heart. Her voice cracked into a thousand tiny shards, as she tried to form a comprehensible answer. He might as well have told her to die again and rot in the deepest parts of hell. He doesn't love me....he'll never love me. The relation was like a heavy chronic toxic gas levitating overhead. Easy to overlook but still there, always there. Idia didn't move, if Eliza's arms weren't wrapped around his shoulders feeling every breath he took, she might have mistaken him for a statue. No, not a statue, she thought, some sort of sculpture of an ancient Greek God. A divine being set in stone resting in an altar, waiting for reparations and benedictions. 'I'd gladly pray at your feet every day. I'd sacrifice everything I had just for you to smile that charming smile at me'. The ghost thought to herself.

For an endless minute, the darkroom fell into a thick, suffocating silence. Neither Eliza nor Idia moved both too scared of breaking some invisible glass wall they had put up around them. However, no amount of serenity could dispose of the awkwardness, and annoyance Idia was beginning to feel. "You know" the lord of the dead began "maybe you should talk to the principle about join the school full time. It would give you more to do than breathing over my shoulder" despite Idia's tone harboring no malice, Eliza still flinched in shock. Her body going rigid, stiffening as if she was going into Rigor Mortis again.

HE DOESN'T WANT YOU HERE!

The voice in her head screamed,

HE HATES YOU!

Louder...

WHY CANT YOU LEAVE HIM ALONE

"Please stop" she whispered

YOU DON’T DESERVE YOUR PRINCE!

"If that's what you want" she finally replied in a broken voice.

"I'm... I'm only saying it for your sake," he muttered in a coaxing tone.

Deep down a delusional part of her wanted to scream that he was only saying all those harsh things for her own well-being. But she was still lucid enough to not believe those fallacies, imaginary words...Eliza perceived that her beloved prince Idia saw her as nothing more than a nuisance. One that he was far too eager to get rid of.

She couldn't bear the conversation any farther. Painfully slowly she peeled her arms off from around her so-called lover. In that taunting minute, Eliza swore she could feel billions upon billions of sharp needles piercing every piece of her dead body. She lingered in place staring at Idia's glowing, blazing hair. She didn't want to leave, she wanted to spend every second of her dead life with him! Touching him, kissing him, loving him! But he wouldn't love her! Why didn't he love her!! Without a customary goodbye or any form of acknowledgment, Eliza flew to the door. Swinging it open just a crack, wishing to slam it so hard that the whole underworld dorm would feel it. But alas she was still royalty and there was a politeness beaten into her every action. In the end after much debating, she closed the damn door quieter than a mouse. With a broken heart and eyes full of tears, princess Eliza began to hover up onto the surface of the school grounds.

WHY DOESN'T THAT SELFISH BASTARD LOVE ME!

A simple blaring thought that reverberated through Eliza's nonexistent skull as she marched through the glowing green halls of Night Raven College. Unlike Ignihyde, the rest of the school still felt rather alien and terrifying to the girl. She'd only been in the cafeteria for a short amount of time. Only to finish up her official marriage to Idia. After the marriage -and much persuasion from his friend with grey hair and glasses- Idia had carried Eliza in the traditional manner a groom must carry a bride, to the hall of mirrors and straight to Ignyhde. Neither of them had left Idia's room since then.

It was a rather short memory but one that always placed a smile on Eliza's face. Rather than remembering the halls, Eliza had been all too bewitched by Idia's shy golden gaze, his bloody red face, and his kissable thin blue lips. Such a darling memory that she would always cherish within her rotten heart.

But as the minutes ticked away and Eliza passed hallway after hallway all identical to one another, she soon began to wish that she'd paid more attention to the whereabouts of the school's rooms and offices. The headmaster's office seemed to be missing from this endless maze. Behind every corner was the same tiled floor, candles lit by a mystical green light and windows so large they put the countless classroom doors to shame. Every few minutes a crowd of students would pass by, disappearing behind another wall withing second. No one noticed her, which was rather odd considering she was the only female in an all-boys school, her purple dress and feminine curves were proof enough of that. "I guess this is the result of being a ghost, wandering the land of the living" She whispered hopelessly to herself. "You're invisible when you're me..."

The eighth turn that Eliza took brought her to a small cluster of peculiar students. Some donning ears and tails like those of wild beasts, while the other had odd features resembling Ortho's limps. Metallic and reflective. They were laughing at something, attentions enclosed within their small groups. A measly thought flew into Eliza's head, why not speak up? Raise your voice and ask where she could locate the headmaster of this complex establishment.

"Excuse me."

“....”

Silence

None of the boys turned to her, they just continued with there chatter. Eliza opened her mouth to speak once more when she -rather unwillingly- picked up stray words from their conversation.

"It's not fair!" A tall lanky one with striped ears and tail whined

"Yeah! How come that useless shut-in gets to get married to a cute girl !" the second one was even taller, with thick furry grey ears that reminded Eliza of a wolf.

"Look man I don't know what Idia has that makes him so damn lucky! He's a useless wimp..." A Bold statement made by the one with metallic features.

Eliza was sure they continued bashing Idia but the phantom pain of blood coursing through her ears droned them out. How dare such hooligans speak ill of her beloved husband! Her fingers flexed in a robotic-like movement, stretching open than closing once more. Around her tiny flame-like spirits began to materialize, cute and cheery with big eyes and smiling mouths...until they noticed the distress of their mistress. the tiny things took a look around, grasping the situation from the loud words of the boys as well as Eliza's grim expression. Slowly the little flames began to merge with one another. Fusing into a large ax with a burning end. The weapon floated down to her hand, positioning itself smugly between her ghostly digits.

Eliza's eyes locked with the backs of the boys, she didn't know how this would work, could the ax could even harm the living? It may just phase through them as if nothing had happened....or it may price through there flesh and bones, tearing them in two. Hosting the ax up over her shoulder with both hands and taking a shaky step forward, Eliza lunged towards the first boy. In a swift flick of her wrist, the blade of the ax was pushing through the Ignihyde student's back. Splitting ceaselessly at the skin and urging past muscles until it reached the creamy colored bones. Eliza didn't stop there, her arms still pushing forward trying to get the heavy ax to break those pesky osseins. He had to pay for what he said! No one was permitted to speak ill of her one true love! A satisfying crack filled the air followed by a choir of screams. Only when the ax had finally resurfaced on the other side, covered in plasma and the remnants of organs, did Eliza turned her attention to the other two students. There eyes where enormous staring at her in disgust and fear...and something else. Something that -although it revolted her to her very core- she wished Idia would look at her with that same look in his eyes. A look of want, a look of need, pure lust, yet the welcoming sort ONLY if it was coming from the person you adored so much.

The blue-haired ghost didn't move, her semi existent body felt overworked. Everything hurt! Or at least she thought what she was feeling was the ghost equivalent to human pain. "Why.." her voice glitched at every syllable, like a broken cassette player. The two boys didn't answer instead taking shall strides backward. "WHY DID YOU SAY SUCH AWFUL THINGS ABOUT HIM!" in a split second, anger over ran Eliza's boy once more, dragging her and the ax forward until the blade came in contact with one of the animal eared men's neck. Slicing it so it flung backward, crashing onto the ground with loud "thud" then rolling around in its own gore. The last man stand, the one with monochrome ears pushed his palms forward, a pathetic attempt of shielding himself from her wrath. "W-we..we d-d-did...didn't-t mean...mean any..offense...honest!" His voice creaked as tears gushed from the corners of his eyes. "You're...you're just so...so...pretty...beautiful even...and...and...Shroud well...we...well, he's a loser who w-w-wouldn't kno--" his words were left half-finished, as Eiza's ax severed through him diagonally.

Her heart was pounding much too fast, that it was beginning to make her feel sick. Her legs finally gave up, sending her crashing onto the blood coated floor. Her bare knees dug into the red liquidy substance, finding an odd comfort in the warm human ichor. Eliza didn't know what to do, or even where to go. If she went back to Idia like this he would surely use it against her, Ortho was too young to be introduced to such a carnage...and she didn't know anyone else! "I'm all so very doomed" she sobbed as transparent tears trailed down her eyes.

"Hey" A distant voice spoke up. "What's wrong with her?" another voice, this one more high pitch and raspy. Eliza tore her face from her hands looking up at a group of three strangers and a cat...no, not strangers, she recognized the orange and blacked haired boy. They both had tried to crash her wedding. But the other person was new, they had a gentle look in their eyes, a welcoming stare that the princess longed for. "Hey ghost bride," The orange-haired boy spoke up, "need some help with your mess?" Eliza nodded meekly. Her body still limp and voice still too frail to speak. The last person, the one that had unexpectedly piqued Eliza's interest extended a hand towards her. And with only a scrap of hesitation, Eliza gripped it.

"Come on, we'll help you out!"

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Tags: @yandere-romanticaa @ghostiebabey @lovee-infected @mermaid-painter @firemelody4 also tagging @twstpasta and @delusional-obsessions cause I know they're huge Eliza fans.

328 notes · View notes

simpsiren · 3 years

Text

sticky notes: the story

mark lee x reader

introduction

main masterlist

description. you use sticky notes to get into contact with your soulmate.

genre. soulmate au, high school au, strangers to lovers au

warnings. nonee

a/n. so some people requested for a full story of this so here it is! i really liked making this because the concept is just so cute cudndn oh and i did include the same idea as what i did in my previous post but i had to change it a little so that it would fit the plot. this is a really really long ff since its a slow burn typa thing so please try to stick with me on this one HAHA anyways enjoyy! :D

“you actually believe that?”

you lift your head up from your notes to look at soyoung. she nods her head and hum eagerly. you rub your temples from seeing her respond. “i do believe soulmates exist. but sticky notes to talk to them? what’s social media for then? and how is it even scientifically possible?” you question soyoung, bringing your eyes down as you continue to do your homework.

“that’s the beauty of soulmates, ray!” soyoung whines. you shake your head. “you’re dumb to believe it without confirming the information with other relevant sources.” you mutter out bluntly. you hear soyoung letting out a ‘tsk’. “here you go again being a history student. i swear im glad i never took it.” you scoff and slam your pen on the table gently.

“excuse me, woman! at least i dont have to memorise the whole textbook and only having 5 pages of content coming out in the exam.” you stick your tongue out playfully to tease soyoung. “i cant get over the fact that valcanos didn’t come out eventhough i memorised so much for it.”

the both of you laugh, knowing that the two of you can never stop debating on whether history or geography is the better subject.

“ray complete your homework at home. we cant stay in the classroom for long you know?” soyoung stands up to get to her seat, which is 2 rows down yours since you were sitting right at the back. you liked sitting at the back. it allowed you to always be able to use your phone in case you get bored in class. you still cant believe that your teachers think you’re a good and obedient student. you figured they only assumed that due to your high grades.

you sigh “that’s true.” you turn around to grab your back that was hanging in your chair and start packing your materials. once you were done, you grab the class key and walk over to soyoung’s seat, waiting for her to finish packing. you notice soyoung has finish packing and went to switch off the lights. you allow soyoung to step out first before you close the door behind you and lock the classroom door.

you and soyoung walked down the hallway silently, you were looking out the window to watch the sunset while soyoung had her eyes on her feet. only your footsteps could be heard as almost everyone has left the school grounds except for some teachers who were working late. the school normally closes at 7pm and you’re walking out at 6:50. to break the silence, soyoung opens her mouth to start a conversation.

“okay if you dont believe me why dont you try it yourself? like write a simple introduction to your soulmate.” you raise an eyebrow as you shove your hands into the front pockets of your mom jeans. “why dont you do it?” you fought back as you huff. soyoung bites the inside of her cheek as a moment of silence passes for her to think of an answer.

“because i believe it. and you do not. so you should try it.” you smacked soyoung’s arm, making her flinch back and shouting a loud ‘ouch’. you roll your eyes, knowing you didn’t hit her hard and she was just overreacting. “brilliant excuse,so. but if its going to make you stop talking about it, i might as well.” soyoung face lit up as she jumps happily and starts skipping ahead of you. you laugh and pull the handle at back of her bag to keep her explosion of excitement to the minimum.

“you owe me brown sugar milk tea. large.” you taunted. soyoung waves her hand lazily. “i’ll buy you one after school tomorrow. but you better update me during math.”

you wanted to say how you could just text soyoung to update her, but you remembered the fact that soyoung’s mother took away her phone since she didn’t do well for this year’s midterms. although to you, soyoung’s grades were decent. unfortunately for her, soyoung has to live up to her asian mom’s high expectations. the thought of this made you want to frown, but you showed a bright smile regardless as the two of you finally made it to the school gate, waving to each other and bidding farewell before walking down opposite paths.

once you arrived at home, you took out your phone from your back pocket. you saw a notification from your mother saying that your parents would be home late. you shrug your shoulders as you walk to your room. “as always.” you breathed out.

you did your normal routine of showering and eating leftover dinner that you needed to heat up at the couch while you completed one episode of the anime series you were so hooked on. you continue watching but with the amount of homework you have, you might finish them all by midnight if you dont slack.

you turned off the tv and washed your plate before heading into your room. as you close the door behind you, your eyes immediately went to your desk, which was pretty messed up since you had a test to study for yesterday that you completely weren’t prepared for and had to squeeze in as much information as you can. hence, the scattering of notes and textbooks.

you stroll over to your desk and sat down. you take out your homework from your back which was beside the desk. looking at the stack of homework, you groan in despair as shove it to the back of the desk till it hit the wall. “ah fuck it! im just going to ask kun for help.” you admitted your defeat depsite thinking you would be able to gain some energy from your dinner. you also thought about how you’ve done your homework in the morning plenty of time so i shouldnt be a problem unless kun doesn’t offer his help.

you jump to your bed and lay down, bringing your phone out and immediately start scrolling through instagram. as you swiped your finger up to look at the posts of the people you follow, you stop at one. a picture of a couple who met through the sticky note theory. or so they claim. your thumbs hover over the screen as your eyes look up to the ceiling, starting to remember what soyoung asked to do to get your bubble tea.

yoy tap your index finger on the side of your phone as you constantly started to think whether you should do it or not. you’ve heard the rumours. but are they even true? the more you thought about it, the more intriguing the idea got. but at the same time, you also thought of how stupid it sounded and was probably made to fool people.

after contemplating and having in a debate in your head that felt like forever, you finally place your phone down beside you and take a deep breath. “ill do it.” you groan to yourself, letting curiosity take over your other feelings.

you gather up your strength to stand up from your bed and walk over to your desk. you push all the papers and textbooks aside, grabbing a yellow sticky notepad from your stationery organiser. you had other colours too like pink and purple, but you figured that you should go with the classic.

pulling out a random pen that was laying in between the pages of one of your textbooks, you tilt your head to the side as you start thinking of what to write, unconsciously biting the end of your pen in the process.

you bite the side of your cheek and shrug, deciding to go with the plan of writing whatever that comes to your mind.

um hi? i dont even know if you’re going to see this. its funny, really. i heard a rumour that you can communicate with your soulmate through sticky notes. it’s probably just fake news and im writing to a nobody. that would honestly be embarrassing but it’ll be like love letters.. to myself(?) or my soulmate. write back? haha

you read over what you wrote an endless amount of times, thinking if you should make changes. you groan and immediately stick the sticky note onto your wall, giving up on giving second thoughts about what you call this ridiculousness.

you went about your night, forgetting you have left the sticky note on the wall. as you were on you bed scrolling through tumblr at 2 in the morning, you hear something. it sounded like a piece of paper had fallen from your desk.

unable to see in complete darkness, you turn on the flashlight from your phone and walk around your room, trying to find whatever it is that fell. it didn’t take you long to find a small yellow sticky note that you accidentally stepped on.

you pick it up, remembering that you wrote on the sticky note and thought that it was yours. however, once you were able to get a closer look, you noticed that the words on the sticky note have changed. so has the handwriting.

holy shit. i dont know what is this. but apparently a sticky note appeared on my wall saying i have a soulmate. my friends told me i should write back because of some rumour. so here i am trying. hi im mark. i dont know your name, but hope you’ll tell me once you recieve this. you’re in luck because apparently the rumour is true. im just as crepped out as you are.

you froze in your spot. your fingers shaking as you read the note again. you scratch your head. being too tired and unable to think straight at 2 in the morning, you place the sticky note on your desk and went back to bed to play with your phone. you soon forget about the fact that your soulmate has replied to your message that you have written on your sticky note.

as you got ready for the next period which was math, soyoung immediately runs over to you, dragging the chair from the desk beside you and taking a seat. you flinch a little when you suddenly see her close to you.

“so did you try it?!” soyoung asks, her voice filled with enthusiasm . you brushed a few pieces of hair behind your ear, nodding your head as you take out your textbook from under the desk. “did you get a reply then?”

your mind started to take you back to the mysterious encounter that you had last night. “mhm.” you reply simply. “though the only thing i remember because it seems to be the only relevant information is that the person’s name is mark.” soyoung gasped loudly, making you crease your forehead as you watch her overreacting again.

“your soulmate’s name is mark then.” soyoung concludes, folding her arms confidently as if she made a great discovery. you laugh, rolling your eyes sarcastically. “isnt it obvious?” soyoung frowns fakely.

your mouth gapes open as you hit soyoung’s arm lightly. “buy me my milk tea!” you demanded with a wide smile. soyoung places her notebook on your table and nods constantly. “i will you addict.” she groans. you happily say thank you as your teacher comes into the classroom and class began.

“what are you going to do about it now though?” as you recieved the question from soyoung, you kept silent for a moment, giving time to think of an answer.

“ill write something back? i dont know.. ill have to read the letter again when i get back home.” you whispe to soyoung. she nods in reply as the two of you payed your attention to the front again. it surprised you that soyoung was paying attention but you only assumed that she wanted to do better in class and shrug your shouders, writing down the notes youve missed while talking to soyoung.

as for you, your concentration in class dipped slightly because now, the thing that is occupying your head the most is the thought that the sticky notes theory might actually be real and you cant say its not possible anymore, making you even more shocked than you did last night.

lucky for you, today is the only day of the week where your class ends the earliest, along with two other lower ranked classes. you and soyoung quickly pack up to go to the mall to get your reward. after soyoung buys you your drink, you and soyoung went your separate ways.

after about 30 minutes of taking the bus and walking, you finally arrived at home. you place your drink on the living room table and proceed to place your bag in the room and head for the showers.

once you were done showering, you walk out of the bathroom to head to your room while drying your hair with a small towel. opening the door, you enter and went straight to your clothing rack. just when you were about to grab a shirt from the hanger, you heard the same noise last night. another piece of paper has fallen on the floor.

you turn your head and look down. this time, you found another sticky note right in front of your feet. the colour of the sticky note changed from yellow to a light blue. you tilt your head as you pick up the stick note from the floor, finding it odd as you wonder how the colour of the sticky note changed.

you take a deep breath before reading it, noticing that the handwriting was similar to the one you read last night. a little messier, but still readable.

hi again.. im not sure if you’ll recieve this since its the afternoon and i know people are busy with work or school. i skipped school today so haha. um i just wanted to write to you, despite me not knowing a single thing about you. its odd really. its like i feel the need to write something to an unknown identity that people assume to be my soulmate. i still dont know your name, so i hope youll reply soon. take your time and take care :)

- mark

“skip school? what is he, a bad boy?” you scoff to yourself. you try to take in whatever’s on the note, but another thought comes to mind. you walk over to your desk and saw that the yellow sticky note with mark’s reply was still there. you find everything about this weird and just odd in general. a lot of questions sprouted, but you didn’t want to think of it since you were afraid you would complicate your thoughts and just throw yourself into a stress hole.

you continue to dry your hair with one hand while the other held onto the light blue sticky note. you bit your lip and gulp. after letting out a long sigh, you place the sticky note next to the other one and changed into your clothes, as well as bringing your drink from the living room table to your room, placing it on the desk as you sat down.

you take out your pencilcase from your bag and brought out your fresh new black pen that you just bought at the school’s stationery store. the previous pen you had was full of ink till soyoung was dumb enough to drop it, spoiling the pen and was unable to be used again.

peeling off another yellow stick note from the stack at the edge of your desk, you were about to put your pen on paper when you realise you dont even know what to write. what do you say to this person you barely know about? you continuously tap the edge of the pen against your desk as you take a sip of your drink. you look over to the two sticky notes with the messages that the person has left. its funny how you have to think so hard just to write a short message.

hey again. i actually ended school early today. my name’s raven. but my friends call me ray. i honestly don’t know what to say to you. im still dumbfounded over the fact that you’re my soulmate and we’re here communicating over sticky notes. the world really does work in a strange way. if you dont mind, i guess i want to know how old you are and you’re education status?

you held out the sticky note in front of you and sigh in satisfaction. why? it’s because of your neat handwriting. it was always a trait of yours that you deeply appreciate. you place the sticky note on the wall and advert your attention to the other sticky notes, placing them on the wall beside the new one you have just written.

“will this drive me insane? i might end up with a whole wall of this.” you say to yourself, rubbing your face with your palm before going to your bed and laying down, wanting to have your evening nap.

“this is awesome!”

“no its scary.”

mark and his group of friends stared at the sticky note that has a message written with beautiful handwriting. mark flinched when he felt an arm on his shoulder, turning around to notice it was chenle’s. “when did you write your previous sticky note?” renjun suddenly asked. mark tilts his head as he tried to find an answer.

“less than an hour before you guys came i guess?” mark shrugs, standing up from his desk and taking a seat at the edge of the bed beside jaemin and haechan. “this raven girl is your soulmate then.” chenle walks towards mark and stands in front of him. mark nods slowly. the room grew silent again with everyone having the similar thoughts.

“you know what would be funny?” haechan smacks mark’s thigh, the sound making everyone turn their attention to mark and haechan. “what?” mark asked with a sigh, running a hand through his hair.

“why dont we prank her and say you’re a sugar daddy and live in a mansion?!” everyone gave yuta weird looks, making haechan laugh hysterically. “are you crazy? do you think i want to chase my soulmate away?” mark scolded haechan, smacking him hard on the chest, resulting in haechan’s back falling onto the bed.

“you’re always asking for a beating i swear.” renjun comments, walking towards haechan and balling his hand into a fist and acting as if he was about to attack. jaemin laughs to try and calm them down. “kids let’s not fight.” jaemin announced, looking over to jeno only to find him standing there watching quietly.

“go ahead, mark. you should write something. we cant keep her waiting.” jeno finally spoke up, grabbing the sticky notepad and a random pen from mark’s table and passing it over to him.

mark stared at the blank paper while the others were talking about what to have for dinner. it didn’t take him long to decide what to write. when mark starts writing and began to be in full concentration, everyone crowds around him to see what he’s writing.

sup raven! i wont call you ray since we aren’t friends yet. im still shocked. like the possibility of things like this being possible is just another possibility that can possibly happen. but anyways, to answer you question, im a high schooler from dream high. im in my third year. its kind of awkward for me while im writing this since my friends are reading every word im taking down. i guess i should ask you the same question back then. hope to hear from you soon.

“will you guys stop being nosy?” mark groans, standing up and pasting the sticky note on his wall, along with the other sticky notes he received from you. “you didn’t have to say that we’re here.” haechan retorts. mark rolls his eyes. “jesus..” mark mutters under his breathe. “anyways, yall are paying for dinner since you guys bribed me to write back.” mark sticks his tongue out playfully and runs out to the living room. everyone follows suit.. except for jeno.

jeno slowly walks towards the wall and leans forward to get a closer look of the sticky notes, specifically the two others beside the new one that mark just wrote. “raven? why does that sound so familiar? the handwriting...” jeno brings his finger up and lightly hovers them over the uniquely written words. it looked like calligraphy, and retro looking. jeno felt as though he had seen it before somewhere, or knew someone who wrote like that.

jeno snapped out of his deep thoughts when jaemin called out to him, making him walk towards the door and glancing at the sticky notes once more before joining the others in the living room.

you were currently video calling your friends when you heard the crackling of a piece of paper. of course you knew what that meant. you peered down the the floor from your bed and reached your hand out to pick up the sticky note. “ray?” doyoung called out to you when he noticed your face wasnt on screen. you lay back down on the floor and brought your phone up to show your face.

“what was that sound earlier?” lucas asked, currently sounding hyper. “the mysterious mark sent me another sticky note.” you reply sarcastically, waving the sticky note to the camera to let everyone look at it. everyone nodded their heads at the some time, some letting out a long ‘ah’ as well. “read it out loud!” yuta shouted.

“the fuck no!” you shouted back. you stared at the sticky note, but didn’t bother to read it. you thought of doing that once you’re done video calling them.

“how was today for you guys?” you asked, wanting to know how they’re doing.

“its tiring! we had dance practice, then we have to do recordings for our new albums. we barely get any sleep.” ten whines, his tone filled with stress. you laugh loudly. it made everyone frown and pout. you sigh. “pursuing your NCT world domination is never easy.” you commented, highlighting the word ‘world domination’ with a change of tone.

everyone lets out a long sigh and started to complain one by one, making the whole video call chaotic for almost 10 minutes. you could only smile and shake your head.

after about an hour or so of talking about basically everything and catching up with each other, everyone decided that they should end the call here since it was beginning to get dark and they needed to start practice soon. you bid your goodbye to them once more and ended the call.

you now adverted your attention to the sticky note. reading the letter, you raise both eyebrows. “dream high? that’s not far from here..” you mumbled to yourself. you started to think about everything you know about dream high. you know it’s was about an hour’s journey from where you live. it wasnt really well known either. the overall vibe of the school was mediocre.

however, you felt like you were missing something. something about that school is somehow related to you. you just couldn’t think of an answer despite squeezing all thoughts that you have in your brain. you groan and stood up from your bed and to your desk, proceeding to wanting to write a reply to mark.

hey. sorry if you get this quite late. i was busy video calling my friends. to answer your question, im a third year as well from jookin high. i would ask for your number so we dont have to do this all the time but my friend would scold me saying “but you’re removing the fun out of it.” but anyways, mark aka my soulmate, tell me about yourself, to start off.

you stick the note onto the wall, looking at the row of messages you’ve had recieved so far. you found it weird how the first time you’ve sent the note and got a reply back, it was on the same sticky note, just different handwriting. but you had to write on a new sticky note to send a new message only to get the same sticky note with a different message in return.

you only see his answers lined up on your wall. you started to wonder how this mark guy looked like. is he good looking? what are his hobbies? his attitude towards school? you really wished you could just text him through instagram and not have to go through all this trouble. but that option would earn you a large smack on the back by soyoung and your really didn’t want that.

“do we really need to be here now? like now?!”soyoung whined, while pushing the cart and following behind you while you tossed some packets of frozen bacon. you stopped walking and turn around, nodding your head intensely. soyoung groans and took out her phone, proceeding to use it while still pushing the cart.

you walk around the supermarket, trying to find the ingredients listed on your notes in your phone. it was the weekends and you’re parents were going to be away for a business trip for a week so you thought of inviting soyoung over and making home cooked meals as a bonding session for you two.

after about 30 minutes of gathering the ingredients and having soyoung constantly screaming and fangirling over tiktok edits of jaehyun from NCT. one note: she has yet to know that you know them and that they’re your friends. you figured that it would be best to not let anyone know so as to avoid any situation that would put your friends in a tight spot, since well they’re idols, you were looking for one last item that you had trouble finding.

“soyoung help me! stop watching tiktoks!” you groan, snatching soyoung’s phone away and shoving it in her back pocket. soyoung rolls her eyes lazily and the two of you proceeded to scan the different isles and shelves, looking over every item.

while you were too concentrated looking at the bottom shelves, you felt that you have bumped into someone. you squat down, letting out a soft ‘ouch’ before standing up and looking to see who you bumped into.

“wait. jaemin?” you furrow your eyebrows as you tilt your head, pointing your finger at the guy in front of you. “raven!” you noticed that it was jaemin after all, and both your faces lit up and the same time, grinning widely at each other.

“uhhh..” soyoung says out loud, you and jaemin turn your heads to face soyoung who was behind you. “oh! this is jaemin. we used to be neighbourhood friends before he moved out 4 years ago.” you introduced jaemin to soyoung. jaemin nodded and gave her a bright smile. soyoung only shrugged her shoulders and took out her phone. you turn your attention back to jaemin.

“why are you even here? dont you live quite far?” you ask, your fingers interlocked behind your back. jaemin nods, running a hand through his hair.

“well yes. but we came here to find something that only this supermarket sells.” jaemin replied back, his warm smile never leaving his lips. you smile, reached your hand out to ruffle his hair, laughing softly afterwards. “we? who’re you with?” you stared at jaemin with eyes of suspicion. jaemin started pinching your cheeks, making you whine and begging him to let go.

“with my friend, ray chill. im still single.” jaemin pulled away and folded his arms, pouting. “im sure you’ll find one soon.” you reached out to ruffle his hair and give off a wide smile.

while you and jaemin were catching up and being in your own world, soyoung got too bored of watching the two of you and decided to walk around the supermarket, leaving the cart behind you.

just as she was looking at the drinks isle to get her favourite sweet drink, she sees someone picking up a bunch of bottles one by one and placing them back on the shelve. out of kindness, she decided to help, picking up a bottle and placing it on fhe shelve before looking up to face the guy, who had a straight face while looking at her.

“i was just trying to help. im soyoung.” soyoung smiled, reaching her hand out and waiting for thr guy to greet back. he looked at her but doesn’t respond, proceeding to pick up the last bottle that was seen on the floor. “im jeno.” jeno stands up and nods his head to greet soyoung. soyoung nods back, walking down the isle to grab her drink from the shelve. “have a nice day.” soyoung says before leaving the isle and disappearing out of jeno’s sight. he only shrugged in response and went to do his own thing.

“you met who?!” haechan asks as he takes a sip of his ice cold water. everyone had their heads turned to jaemin, who raised an eyebrow at everyone’s weird expression. “i met my old friend raven. what’s so shocking?” jaemin asks back casually, picking up a few pieces of fries and dipping it into the sauce before shoving it in his mouth.

“dude that’s the name of mark’s soulmate!” haechan screams, making everyone flinch due to the loud noise. “i highly doubt it. there’s plenty of girls in the world with the name raven.” jaemin protests with his mouth full and chugging down gulps of coca cola.

“i mean that’s true. jeno you were with jaemin, right? dont you suspect anything?” renjun starts to question jeno, who was silently playing with his phone. looking up at the others, he gulps.

“i didn’t know he met his friend. i was picking out drinks. i just met a girl named soyoung.” jeno shrugs, taking a bite of his burger. mark scratches the back of his head, now starting to think of the fact that jaemin might have met his soulmate. though he also thought about how that could not be totally possible.

“nah i dont think its her. like really ‘raven’ could be anyone.” mark says, siding with jaemin. haechan tilts his head in awe. “jaemin do you know what school she’s going to?” jaemin only shakes his head.

“i lost all contact with her when i left her neighbourhood. plus we were young. i barely knew her honestly.” the living room falls silent, everyone trying to think of a conclusion to this.

chenle groans, standing up from his seat and slamming his hands on the table, gathering everyone’s attention as their heads shot up. “instead of pondering as if yall are solving some crime, why dont mark just ask her through the sticky note god dammit?” chenle pinches the bridge of his nose.

everyone’s mouths gape open as the room was suddenly filled with ‘ah’s all over. chenle shakes his head. everyone was now looking intensively at mark. mark furrows his eyebrows. “okay guys hold up ill grab the stick note.” mark stands up and takes one bite of his burger before going into his room for awhile and coming out with a sticky note and a pen.

jaemin noticed jeno being silent the whole way. and althought thats normal since its jeno’s nature and personality to not be so outspoken like the others, jaemin could sense that jeno was off and seem to be in deep thoughts.

and jaemin was right. jeno couldnt stop thinking about jaemin’s encounter with ‘raven’. the name sounded so familiar. he tried to recall every girl he has came into contact with during his life. why did he feel like the name was tied to the handwriting he saw on the sticky notes?

“jeno.” jaemin nudged him in the shoulder. jeno mumbled a soft ‘oh’ before turning his attention to mark just like the others. “she didn’t send me a reply after my last one though.” mark says, looking up.

“its fine. she probably didn’t see it. just write already.” chenle says in anticipation. mark shakes his head. “calm the heck down its not like we can get an answer immediately.” mark rolls his eyes and began to write.

hey raven. um i know this may sound weird. but have you gone to a supermarket and met a guy names jaemin? im not a stalker i swear. its just that he’s my friend and apparently you know him. though i dont think that such a coincidence and come by just like that. hope you hear from you soon.

jeno stared at the sticky note that mark proceeded to place at a random wall of the living room while everyone continued to eat and chat. his thoughts finally linked and a imaginary lightbulb appeared on above his head when he finally realises why he was so drawn to mark’s soulmate.

you were focused on wanting to solve a math question when the sticky note above your desk’s wall had fallen in front of you, revealing a new message. you place your pen down and let out a sigh, remembering that you hsve forgotten to write a reply and that mark probably sent you another one.

you tied your hair in a messy low bun before picking up the sticky note to get a closer view. you blink your eyes rapidly as your eyes furrow in awe. what the note said really shocked you and made you freeze in your spot. jaemin is friends with your soulmate? there’s no way.

you sat there for awhile as you constantly read over the words, still in shock with your moutb hanging open. you just couldn’t believe it. was it really what it seemed to be? another thought came to your mind as well. the thought of just who is this friend of jaemin’s? could it be mark? was your soulmate literally in the same place as you yet you never knew?

you grab a fresh new piece of sticky note and proceeded to write a reply after staring at it for so long and thought that it was finally time that you do something.

okay what you wrote really was weird. jaemin’s my old neighbourhood friend. its such a coincidence how you know him. i guess the connections are there. so haha yeah. damn. im very mind blown right now.

you take a look at your handwriting again, smiling to yourself. “i really do love my handwriting.” you mumble under your breath. you stuck the sticky note on the wall and resumed doing your homework, hoping that mark would reply soon.

while the boys were immersed in the horror movie they were watching on friday night, everyone turned their heads to each other when they heard the noise of a piece of paper falling onto the floor. in unison, everyone turned their head to where the noise came from and seeing the sticky note that fell.

jisung grabs the controller and pauses the movie. “we’re watching a scary movie and creepy stuff like that happens?!” jisung asks, stuttering out of complete fear.

mark decided to be the brave one after seeing everyone’s terrified face and stands up to pick up the sticky note, going back to take his seat on the couch soon after. “d-does that always happen?” mark shrugs. “well duh. that’s how i know she sent a reply. it wouldn’t be this scary if we weren’t watching a horror movie.”

everyone’s heads once again gather around mark as he read the note out loud. everyone gapes their mouth open, some covered their mouths while jeno could only stare at it in disbelief. “i guess we’ve confirmed its her.” mark breathes out, placing the sticky note on the table.

jeno reaches out to grab the sticky note to have a look. the unique handwriting that he suspected would belong to you really was yours. out of anger, he tears the sticky notes into two. everyone had their eyes widened at jeno’s sudden shocking action. mark snatches the now torn note back, looking down at them before facing jeno.

“what the heck was that for?!”

“dont talk to her anymore. she’s trouble.”

everyone lets out a sigh in unison except for mark, looking at everyone’s weird reaction. “what do you mean trouble? and why does it look like you all know something except me?” mark furrows his eyes as everyone exchanged glances continuously for a moment.

“she’s just not someone you should be with. that’s all.” jeno stands up and walks to his room, slamming the door shut and produring a piercing noise. the room was silent for awhile until mark speaks up.

“what am i missing here you guys?”

no one replies.

“we’ve been friends for a year and you guys are all keeping secrets for me?” mark scoffs in disbelief, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“we arent in the position to tell you. its jeno.” jaemin murmurs under his breath, looking down on the ground just like the others.

marks keeps silent and stands up from the couch, the palm the torn note was in is balled into a fist as he goes into his room as well.

haechan sighs. “jeno has to tell the truth. he’s been holding onto that grudge almost forever now.”

everyone nods their heads in agreement. “if not, he’s going to live in despair now that he knows she’s his best friend’s soulmate..” jisung adds on.

everyone could only silently hope that things could go well.

after that day you’ve sent a reply, you havent heard from mark since. you dont know why. due to your lack of information on him, it felt as if he disappeared into thin air. although only a week has past by, you felt concerned and somewhat worried for him. did something happen to him? what made him cut off his connection with you? its not like you did anything wrong.

out of pure desperation, you decided to skip school today. youve never skipped school before, and you felt so rebellious and bad. why did you do this? so you could go to dream high and meet mark in person. youve had enough of the sticky notes. you just wanted to see how he was like in real life, not having to think about it through notes.

with a little help from jaemin by texting him on instagram, you knew that mark’s class should be ending by 4pm, and you were there at 3:50 in the canteen where jaemin told you to wait. funny how the security guard lets a student from another school come in with a pass or anything.

you slowly start seeing groups of students going down the flight of stairs that lead to the canteen which had a path leading to the front gates. some eyes glanced at you as they notice someone who doesnt belong at their school, you couldnt care less though. your thoughts were only filled with mark. how he looked like, how he would carry himself. your anticipation was the only thing you felt.

you wore your headphones yet you could suddenly hear a lot of squealing and shouting. you look up, turning you attention to the stairs. a large group of girls crowding around another group of people, who you assumed to be guys. you scoffed, thinking about how there’s always that one group of good looking guys all girls seem to go crazy for. you watch as the group of guys push through the large crowd.

once you got a closer look, you tilt your head to the side. you slowly bring your headphone down from your ears and let them rest on your neck, getting intrigued by how the girls were getting so crazy, even more crazy than the ones from your school.

“its mark! he’s so cute!”

you widen your eyes as you heard the word ‘mark’. you stood up from your seat, peering your head up to find which one is the girl referring to. you only see two guys walking. one smiling sheepishly while the other kept a straight and cold face. just which one is mark?

suddenly, you felt an arm grabbing yours and pulling you back. you jump out of fear and turn around noticing it was jaemin. you calmed your breathing as you look at jaemin.

“meet mark under the block nearby. its too hectic here for you to talk to him.”

jaemin dragged you out of the school grounds and to a secluded block where only a few students where walking past and left you there. you were lost in confusion but decided to trust whatever jaemin was doing, sitting down at a random bench.

“jaemin told us to meet him here where is-”

“raven.”

“what?”

you immediately stood in front of the two guys you saw at the canteen as you notice a familiar face. you werent able to get a clear look at them before, but now you realise that you knew one of them. “jeno..” you look at a different direction a you tried avoiding his gaze, though you knew you couldnt, forcing yourself to meet his eyes.

mark looks at the both of you, utterly confused as his attention shifts from you to jeno constantly. “this raven?” mark points at you, tilting his head. you nod slowly as your turn your head to face mark. you observed his body up and down. he was good looking, just like jeno.. yet his aura told you that he was way more outgoing and open than jeno.

“you look...”

everyone was silent.

you gulp in nervousness. “im busy. bye mark.” before jeno could go, mark pulled on his arm to bring him back to stand beside him, earning a glare from jeno. the one you could never forget. “stay. i know something happened. you were always quiet whenever we talked about this girl. and i also know you all kept something from me.”

you slowly turned to jeno. you could he was annoyed whenever he looked at you. you felt it through his eyes, and it was terrifying. jeno took a deep breath in, folding his arms and placing his weight on one leg.

“if you remember clearly, chenle told you that before we became friends with you, we had a fight and didnt talk to each other for a long time. we didnt tell you this, but it was her who caused it. she brought chaos into our group. everyone forgotten about it clearly, but i cant. after what she did.. i cant forgive her.”

you opened your mouth, wanting to reply but your words were somehow stuck in your throat. you didnt exactly know what to say or do in this awkward situation.

“it.. it was a long time ago jeno, please. my feelings for you were real, even if we werent meant to be. i dont know how many times you need me to say sorry.” you pleaded, biting your lip as you waited for jeno’s reaction.

jeno sighs and runs a hand through his hair as he lets out a huff of rustration. “then why did you leave? you left me stranded, and because of you, i almost left my friends becaused i lived in agony since i missed you so much. i almost pushed everyone away.” you shivered as jeno’s voice started to raise.

you also glanced at mark, who still kept his confused expression on his face. through his gaze never left you as you felt his eyes scanning you body up and down.

“you two used date?” mark asks. you nod in reply.

“we were kids. we didnt know about all this soulmate stuff. but now..”

“you know what? be together. im not going to leave my friends just because of my pent up grudge and feelings. i cant control fate either.”

years had now past since you met mark. it really was fate. the two of you became close in no time and now.. you were fianally married. you couldnt be more happy to be with mark. who you were destined to be really was made for you, and you only. and to think this all escalated due to a note you sent out in pure curiosity.

you still remember what happened with jeno after that day, despite the lack of interaction between you two, jeno was open enough to accept you as his friend again. you are now living a happy life with mark, and always being able to hang out with his group of friends. today was no different.

“haechan get the chilli sauce!” you hear mark shout as you smile widely, feeling his arm snaking around your waist to pull you close. having a barbeque was a great idea to celebrate jisung’s birthday.

you soon see haechan with the bottle of chilli sause, placing it on the table where everyone gathered around the table which had jisung’s birthday cake. “before we do anything with the cake, let me announce my wish.” jisung announces proudly. you raise an eyebrow. “you cant say you birthday wish out loud!” you scolded jisung, but everyone laughs.

“his wish is something we all know.” jeno says, winking playfully at you. you tilt your head in confusion when you suddenly feel mark’s arm leaving you waist. you look over to mark who was shoving his hand into his pocket as if to find something.

you were completely clueless when mark nods towards jisung, to show some kind of signal. “i wish for mark and raven to get married!” jisung shouts.

you gaped your mouth open in shock when mark pulls out a small box, opening it in front of you to show a ring. you cover your mouth in disbelief. “did you guys really-”

“please marry me, raven. my sticky note soulmate.” you hear everyone clapping s a tear of happiness drips from your cheek. you quickly wipe it away as you heard the nickname that mark gave you. “we wouldnt normally do this but it was jeno that suggested this.”

you look over to jeno who had a soft smile on his face as he nod his head. looking back at mark, you grin widely as more tears started flowing out. “of course ill marry you, you dork.”

92 notes · View notes

ineloqueent · 3 years

Text

time enough

Gwilym Lee x Reader

synopsis: you’re stressed and Gwil’s busy, but he’s always got time for you.

warnings: descriptions of anxiety, mentions and description of a panic attack

word count: 1.5k

see the moodboard here!

⭒

It had been a rough morning.

Scratch that.

A rough day. A rough week? Month? Year?

Whatever it was, it wasn’t going well.

You were studying ceaselessly, because attempting to get a doctorate in history was not what one would call “a walk in the park.” In fact, it was quite the opposite. You felt as though you were running down a steep, steep slope, at the end of which lay a cold, dark lake, which you would have no choice but to swim across in order to climb the mountain on the other side, atop which the Ph.D. was being held captive by a dragon, like some fairytale princess.

Indeed, your Ph.D. seemed like a fairytale, because how you were ever going to finish earning it was beyond you. You’d been at this for years and years already, and it seemed as though there was no end in sight. However much you loved history and that which you were studying in particular, the process of getting such an advanced degree was an arduous one, and some days, you thought you’d never make it.

For instance, today, one week before the final exam of your entire university career, the sky was falling down upon you.

It was Friday, and you’d been studying for this exam since four Fridays ago, and you were going around in circles. It seemed impossible to memorise all of those people, and all of those dates, all of those fucking movements, though you were sure they’d been in your head before.

You needed to get out of your apartment. You’d opened the window, but the air had remained stuffy, and the sun which beat down heavily was of no help. You were tired, running on a combination of caffeine and nervous energy, your hands growing shakier by the minute.

The pen fell from your grip as you stood up, knocking your chair to the ground in your hurry.

Out, out, out, get out. The room was too small, the walls were up against you, and you were finding it difficult to breathe.

You threw on your shoes and fumbled for your house key, stumbling out the door and only just remembering to close it behind you, let alone lock it.

You needed to get this off of your mind, this endless loop of studying and writing papers and reading papers, and there was only one person capable of helping you.

You knew where the shoot was, and it wouldn’t take you long to get there by car, but you wanted— needed— fresh air, and didn’t trust yourself to drive with your quivering hands, so you began to run.

You nearly got into a road accident numerous times, and angry shouts followed you everywhere you went, but you could only hear the wind rushing in your ears and the hard concrete beneath your shoes.

You ran all the way to set, and when you got there, you faced the inevitable obstacle of a barricade and the security guard reluctant to let you in. But then you spotted Gwilym.

For a moment, you held your breath, your knuckles turning white as they gripped the barricade.

You didn’t want to trouble him. And he was very obviously busy, going over the delivery of a particular line with his co-star, prior to the shoot which awaited them on the footpath by the road, where the cameras were stationed.

But then for what reason had you come all this way?

By no small amount of courage, you called out to Gwil.

He spun at the sound of your voice, just as an assistant touched his arm to get his attention concerning the start of the shoot.

Your stomach dropped to your toes. He hadn’t seen you.

There were tears in your eyes now, and you couldn’t stop them, couldn’t even wipe them away for your shaking hands, your shaky breaths.

He hadn’t seen you, and he was going to leave and you were going to stay here behind the barricade, tearful and panicky and embarrassed and ashamed.

There was commotion over by the camera crew, but then one voice, assured, firm, clear, cut through.

“If you’ll excuse me, please, that’s my girlfriend you’ve barred from the premises.”

You were sinking to the ground by the barricade, your chest contracting, your skin cold and clammy, and then Gwil was jumping the barricade and kneeling on the ground beside you.

“Gwil, we need to—”

He raised a hand, and the gesture silenced the assistant. It wasn’t an impolite gesture, simply one which asked respect of the recipient, and for Gwil’s reputation of going out of his way to help others, the assistant nodded and walked away.

You were dimly aware of Gwil’s fingers curling around your own. He didn’t get in your face, but he also didn’t shy away, frightened by the panic which wracked your body.

“Hey, love?”

You turned your head to find him looking at you, all soft eyes and even breaths, and there was a calmness in just looking at him.

“You’re going to be alright. This’ll be over in a little bit, and then we can talk and go anywhere and do anything you like, yes?”

He was being so gentle, so kind, and the ghost of a smile touched his lips when you nodded in response to his askance, so much that you almost nodded again, just to see him smile fully.

But your vision still blurred at the edges— green and purple and black— and you remembered, all of those people, and all of those dates, all of those fucking movements, all of those things you were never going to remember, and you gasped as the intake of air constricted your lungs.

“You’re okay, I’ve got you. Just breathe with me.”

His thumb traced a gentle line at the base of your palm, and then he began to count slowly.

“One, you— the only one who matters right now. Two, how many days it took me to fall in love with you. Three, the number of drinks I had before I mustered the confidence to talk to you. Four, how many times I tried to talk to you on the same night before I gave up. Five, the number of weeks I thought about asking you out before I actually did it.

“Six, the hour I arrived to pick you up that first time. Seven, the time I was actually supposed to pick you up, but I’d forgotten about daylight savings. Eight, the number of constellations I memorised to try and impress you on that first date. Nine, the number of constellations I forgot how to identify, but you looked so happy staring up at the stars, so I pretended I knew them.

“And, because I can’t count, ten million billion trillion, how many times I will tell you I love you, if it makes you even half as happy as the first time I told you.”

That soft smile had reappeared on his face, and the colours were returning to the world.

You noticed that Gwil had sat down beside you, not minding his costume, or the fact that the ground would dirty it beyond all repair.

“I’m so proud of you, you know that? This Ph.D. thing… I could never do it. But you…” Gwil exhaled, shaking his head almost imperceptibly, as though he truly could not believe how you managed. There was a great, unspoken respect in his words, and his confidence in you was far lovelier than anything else you had ever been given. “You work yourself too hard, beautiful. Breaks are good. We all need breaks.”

With a tenderness, he smoothed the hair from your forehead, and your breathing began to return to normal.

“Do you…” your voice hitched on the words, and Gwil was passing you a bottle of water he’d conjured from god knew where. You sipped a little, then handed it back to him.

“Slowly,” he said. “Take it easy.”

“Don’t you need a break from me, sometimes?”

His brow furrowed, but you kept talking.

“I mean, I turn up out of nowhere, and I— I— I ruin your day, the shoot, the—”

“Shh, love,” he touched your hand. “Breathe in and out. Slowly.” He then shook his head again. “You could turn up out of nowhere any day of the week, and I’d be over the moon to see you. And you haven’t ruined my day or the shoot or anything. I’m only sorry I wasn’t at home with you today.”

“But you’re busy and I—”

“I’ve got time enough, and all the time in the world for you.” He canted his head slightly, looking at you. “I think I should tell you, you are my world, and taking a break from the world would mean giving up on life, and while you’re here, there is no thought further from my mind.”

There were tears in your eyes again. But these were not tears of panic, of fear. Your heart swelled with happiness, with hope.

He kissed your hair. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you whispered, and held onto him until the light faded from the sky.

#s&t celebrate #tina's writing #gwilym lee x reader #fic

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you-did-well-moon · 4 years

Text

Seventeen reaction to s/o writing a cute song about them

Type: pure fluff kids

Word count: 4,556

A/n: you guys don't know how fat of an uwu I busted seeing this request. Even now my heart is like bursting with love. I also changed up the request a bit. I don’t have many love songs in my playlist so once again it’s research time. I didn’t really make it a idol reader since I wanted it tp be more personal. Don't be afraid to talk to me or to request. Stay safe clowns -Moon

yes, im fully aware you cant write a song in a day but shhhhh

S.Coups

Song: Hypnotized - Years And Years

“I know a place where it's always so perfect and blue And a boy says, Babe, believe me, it's all for you Ooooh the fortune said, Flowers bloom with no regret

Surround me, body and soul Pull me into your glow, make me blush Unbound me, spin me in gold As the story unfolds in your touch”

You were sitting on the couch, your notebook in your lap trying to focus on the essay you were writing, but your eyes kept going back to your boyfriend. He was currently listening to one of his members who was troubled by something. The sweet look in his eyes reminded you much of the same look he’d give you when speaking reassuring words into the shell of your ear as he pulled you into his capable arms. You couldn't stop your pencil from spilling words of love onto the page with a soft smile tugging at your lips.

You were so distracted you didn't notice Seungkwan reading the intimate words over your shoulder until he snatched the notebook from your hands. Thankfully, Seungcheol noticed your predicament immediately moving to save you but freezing when Seungkwan told him you had written a love song about him. He looked at you who was staring at the floor before grabbing the notebook and hitting Seungkwan upside the head with it. He bought you closer to his warm body allowing you to hide your face in his chest leading you to his room. He would softly ask you if he could look at what you had written. Finishing reading the words he turned around trying to hide the huge smile overtaking his mouth. When you reached out to him, he quickly got a hold of you falling gently onto his bed as he hid his smile in your neck squishing you in a tight hug.

Seungcheol would find so much comfort in your sweet words when you couldn't be there to provide comfort yourself. He’d have it somewhere where he can look at it whenever he wants to. If he was particularly missing you, he’d let a tear or two slip.

Jeonghan

Song: I Wouldn't Mind - He Is We

”Carefully we'll place for our destiny. You came and you took this heart And set it free. Every word you write and sing is so warm to me So warm to me. I'm torn, I'm torn. To be right where you are.

I'm not afraid anymore. I'm not afraid.”

You chewed at the end of your pencil as you worked on your notebook eyebrows furrowing when you noticed your boyfriend hadn't whined out at you to leave your work for later and cuddle him. Looking up your expression immediately softened at the sight of your boyfriend’s chest lightly rising and falling with his face mushed up against the pillow. You chuckled gently brushing his hair away from his eyes, fingers falling to trace along his cheekbones until they took a hold of your discarded pencil starting to write words that easily came at the thought of your lover.

You couldn't help the rush of warmth that spread across the expanse of your chest when any thought of your boyfriend popped up in your head. You remember distinctly how afraid you were to be with someone like him. Someone so carefree and laid back. Someone with a job like the one he had with thousands of eyes watching every move he made. You also distinctly remember how quickly he has assured you, you would be safe with him if it was the last thing he did. Even if relaxed and easy going, Jeonghan would not hesitate to step up if your safety or happiness was in danger. You were so lost in thinking of the way your relationship had grown, you didn't notice the bed shifting lightly next to you. You weren't really surprised when you felt a body roll on top of yours a chin placing itself on your shoulder. You let him read the fond words grinning when you heard him lightly laugh into your hair arms turning your body around to smother you in light kisses.

Jeonghan would tease you about the song joking about how you must really love him to write such a cheesy song, but he only pokes fun with good intentions. He memorized the lyrics softly singing them at random times not even noticing the words coming out his mouth. If he has any say in it, it's the song he’ll sing at your wedding.

Joshua

Song: Heaven - Exo

“Hello angel, you’re like a painting You’re all I see when I look to the skies City street lights, even if the lights go out And the moon disappears, it’s bright because I have a star that fell from the skies And it’s you

I keep laughing for some reason every night Even when I close my eyes, I can’t sleep I spend the entire night with thoughts of you Your sparkling smile lets me breathe Probably you, you I’m sure you have wings hidden behind your back Anyone can tell you’re my angel I can fly as long as I’m with you”

You couldn't help but laugh as Joshua was fighting with a pigeon who was trying to steal the sandwich in his hands. You had come on a date to Han River riding your bikes with Joshua carrying a blanket in his backpack and you carrying a picnic basket. You had told him to eat his food before the birds caught wind of it, but he insisted on taking pictures because Minghao wanted some. You shook your head lightly when Joshua offered the bird a small piece and it finally left him alone. Giggling to yourself, you looked up at him munching happily on his sandwich features highlighted by the sun’s light.

Getting the little notebook you always carried around with you from his backpack, you started writing a song about your angelic boyfriend. Everything seemed easier when you were with him. Brighter. Happier. Every moment was spent beautifully and every action was laced with love. Even breathing seemed easier around him. Every few moments, you would look up at him, your chest shaking with a quiet laugh, and your eyes sparkling with mirth before clutching the notebook to your chest and continuing to write. Joshua eventually took note of this placing his head on his hands and softly asking what you were up to. You narrowed your eyes playfully giving him the notebook with your heart fluttering nervously. As he read the words, his smile would grow bigger and the blush on his cheeks would deepen. He would reach out to ruffle your hair promising hugs and kisses when you got home. Well, he didn't fail to deliver.

Joshua would be playful but serious about the song you wrote. He definitely grew confidence in your relationship becoming touchier. Randomly rapping trying to rhyme with love around you. He would take a picture of the page looking at it and smiling because he knew no matter what happened, his own angel was waiting for him to be in their arms and he was always ready for endless amounts of love you were sure to shower him with.

Jun

Song: Moon And Back - Alice Kristiansen

“baby to the moon, and back i still love you more than that when your skies are grey and your whole world is shakin' to the moon, and back i love you more than that we may fall but we'll keep on going we may break but we won't say broken through the cracks in the road the flowers grow”

Your hands that were clutching on to the glass of water shook slightly after having to calm down your boyfriend who had been crying for a multitude of reasons. Missing his family and believing he wasn’t good enough for both the group and you were the main reasons. You had calmed him down with a hand rubbing at his back and comforting words whispered into his tear stained shirt. You convinced him to play some games to distract him. Entering his room you saw him now fully immersed into his game fingers hurriedly jabbing at the buttons as he sat on the floor.

You placed the water on his nightstand watching as he sent a small smile your way at the sound of the glass hitting the wood of the furniture. You made your way towards him sitting down knees and thighs brushing against his. You couldn’t stop yourself as you analyzed him before whipping out your phone starting to write what you deemed a song. Junhui had always asked you how much you loved him, and you always answered “to the moon and back”. But both of you knew the love you held for each other was immeasurable. You would be there for each other no matter what life had in store for you. Smiling in satisfaction, you softly nudged Jun with the edge of your phone. You watched as his expression became shyer laughing under his breath. He didn't say anything for a little bit needing time to process just how fast his heart was beating. Taking a deep breath, he’d exhale slowly falling into your body while digging his face into your neck telling you to just stay like that for a little bit.

Jun would always go quiet whenever you mentioned the song, always needing time to fully process the fact that yes, you had written a love song for him. A song that always managed to make his heart stop just thinking about it. He would find himself murmuring the words while lost in thought smiling softly at the thought of the song and of you.

Hoshi

Song: Starlight - Taeyeon Ft. Dean

”Reflected in my eyes is your squinted eyes, yeah You’re smiling behind that awkward face You’re so lovable, I couldn’t hold back, oh I discovered you like a miracle, you always make me smile You are my starlight

You are my starlight, shine on my heart When I’m with you, it feels like I’m dreaming all day You are my starlight, I get so happy Your love is like a gift”

You were laying on your stomach in the practice room working on a present for your boyfriend as he worked on a new choreography for the group. You smiled at the fact that even though he was probably tired and sleepy, his eyes looked as bright as ever. You had been there keeping him company all day, but you didn't mind. You were rewarded with Soonyoung flopping next to you and showering you with love in the form of kisses and tickles every few minutes.

You checked the time on your phone noticing it was close to it being time to go home since Soonyoung never liked staying too late when you were with him. You tried speeding up your writing a bit not noticing your boyfriend approaching you until he was right in front of you. You tried hiding what you were working on by shoving it under your body, but it was too late. Soonyoung was able to clutch on to it and read what you were working on as you whined about it not being finished yet. You would see his hands start to tremble and his eyes shimmering. You asked what was wrong, but he’d shake his head taking your face in his shaking hands softly kissing you while thanking you in between kisses. Soonyoung would feel so touched, but he would smile shakily not letting his tears fall, his hands falling to clutch on to your own.

You bet Soonyoung would make a little dance to your song, and he would make you dance to it with him telling you had to dance since you wrote it. This would lead to many moments of you guys laughing on the floor and randomly hugging each other. Hosh would always have the brightest smile on his face just thinking about the song, and he would get clingy too not being able to stop smothering you in his love because oh wow he loved you so much he felt like he was going to burst.

Wonwoo

Song: Beautiful Feeling - Day6

”Shivers go down my body I’m so happy That I’m shedding tears Some people say love But I think There’s something more than that If you know, tell me If there isn’t, make one up To this beautiful feeling This beautiful feeling

Like and love Aren’t enough To express this beautiful feeling”

You should have expected Wonwoo taking a long time trying to decide between what book he wanted to take home, but sitting there in the book store on a pair of love seats facing each other you were beginning to think you seriously underestimated Wonwoo’s indecisive book choices. You looked at him, glasses sliding down the slope of his nose and eyes focuses on the book in his hands. It was like you weren't even there. Shaking your head fondly, you decided to work on the song you would eventually give to him.

Practically shoving your nose in your notebook, you too became focused on the words spilling across the page. You didn't notice Wonwoo getting up until you felt a shoe softly nudging your leg. Looking up to see him with a bag already in his hands you bashfully smiled when his eyebrows raised tilting his head in question of the notebook in your hands. You waved slightly to the other love seat giving him your notebook when he was settled. His eyebrows furrowed, and he looked up at you with a shocked pointing at himself as if questioning how such lovely words could be written about.. him. You nodded with your eyes never leaving his. He took a deep breath. He had so much waiting to spill out in pure adoration for you, but he couldn't do it in public. Getting home and he would tentatively put your notebook down before bringing you into his embrace. He cradled your head in his hand with the other on the small of your back leaning his head against yours, and he’d close his eyes tightly not saying anything. He just wanted to savor the feeling of you in his arms, your scent giving him the most wonderful high, and your hands clutching on to his shirt.

Wonwoo would be distracted for a while, head swimming with thoughts of you. Your words inspired by him flashing behind his eyelids every time he closed his eyes. He scoffed reading a romance novel or watching a tv show because no matter what, nothing would ever be able to compare to the love story between him and you.

Woozi

Song: Let Me - Got7

“It might have been the bright sun My face turned red probably It might have been just a feeling I saw you blush too I’m getting drunk on a good feeling today Neither of us even touched alcohol Can I softly hold your hand If you’re ok, can I go for it? Baby Let me hold your hand

Will you be by my side, by my side Can I hold your hand? Don’t be shy Today we come together Today you are especially lovely to me Tonight is our Just one chance Can I hug you? Don’t be afraid Today we come together”

At this point in your relationship, Jihoon had written tons of love songs inspired by you. Each one always making your heart flutter when you heard it. Almost each one having been softly sung against your skin by him. Each one imprinting themselves across the expanse of your chest and heart. You had never been one to write love songs, when there were already millions of them, but now that you had Jihoon in your life, it was the only thing you could think about. You eventually gave in to the temptation, but you hadn't told him of the song.

Sitting with him in his studio, you watched him totally immersed in his songs bringing the lyrics to life with different beats and melodies. Meanwhile, you were working on your own song. The love song your members had begun teasing you about. You had finished it a long time ago, but you kept changing things because you were nervous. You slipped his own headphones off his head gently smiling nervously when he looked at you with questioning eyes. You slipped your own headphones plugged to your laptop with the song ready to play over his ears. You played with your fingers, but when he looked up you almost jumped back in surprise. You had never seen his eyes hold so much love and adoration before. He was looking at you like you had hung the moon and stars in the sky. He would want to be as close to you pulling you on to his lap and resting his head on your chest.

Jihoon would feel like he was floating because you had just told him you love him in his language. Music. He would not be able to stop himself from using some of your lyrics in one of his own songs, with your permission of course, It would be the song that always bought him strength when he stayed late in the studio, and a song that made him happier in general.

Song: The Way You Smile - NewSong ft. Francesca

“The way you open the door you always see about me Treat me like I'm a princess boy you're so sweet Love the way that I feel when I'm in your arms You whisper "You're beautiful" so safe and warm There's a million more, these are just a few Of the many reasons I love you

But there's something about the way you smile I can see forever in your eyes Telling me I'm yours and you're all mine The way that you smile We're like two lovers in a sweet romance I'm your leading lady and you're my man You can say I love you with just a glance”

You were sitting on the couch with the tv in front of you playing an anime Dokyeom had been wanting to see for a long time finally having found the time to do so. He always moved a lot when watching anime because he just got too excited to keep still, so he had ended up sitting in front of you on the floor with his back to the couch in between your legs watching the tv with bright wide eyes. You had been running your hands through his hair until he didn't notice you had stopped in favor of working on the song in your laptop.

When he did notice, he didn't seem to mind much his laughter almost as loud as the tv when something particularly funny happened. He would tilt his back to beam at you, and you never failed to return the same smile. You got thirsty heading to the kitchen to get water making the mistake of leaving your laptop open on the song. You got lost in thought not hearing the sound of the anime stop or your song start. It wasn't until the song was almost done that you noticed, running into the living room just as Dokyeom looked up at you with flushed cheeks and teary eyes. He asked you who the song was about with a shaking voice and you replied with a simple “you”. He basically stumbled across the room and crashing into your body sobbing into your neck. You could feel his heart beating rapidly in his chest pressed against yours. You wrapped your arms around him just as tightly as his were wrapped around you asking him what was wrong. He just responded with “no one has ever done something as beautiful or lovely as this for me”.

Dokyeom would become a bit shy around you for a while after this, bursting out into giggles whenever he saw you. After that wore off, he would get a surge of confidence flirting with you but immediately getting shy and giggly afterwards.

Mingyu

Song: Touch - Nct 127

“Your voice that calls my name makes my heart drop From some point, I started to talk just like you I can figure it all out, once I hold your hand Once I hold your hand, you know

I don’t know how I can withstand you Even I’m shocked over how I’m being, it’s true My feet won’t listen And keeps following you”

You groaned as you made your way to a bench under a tree next to the field Mingyu had taken you to. He and some of the members wanted to play some games outside, and he had decided to bring you along with him. Something about seeing how manly he looked while throwing a ball at Seungkwan’s face. You were grateful to spend some time with him, but you envied the ball being held by his arms as he talked with the members about the rules of whatever stupid game they had made up.

Nevertheless, you found the opportunity to work on the song you had been working on. You preferred the comfort of your studio, but the fresh breeze and warmth of the sun wasn't too bad. You had your headphones fitting your head snuggly, so you didn't hear the boys shouting at you because Mingyu had accidentally kicked the ball too hard, and it happened to be in your direction. It hit the laptop not only cracking the screen but shoving it off your lap and crashing into the ground. Luckily, you had the song saved on your studio computer, but it was still upsetting as you had made some changes to the song. You felt your heart sink as frustration clouded your mind making your eyes water. Mingyu swore he had never run so fast in his life, but when he got to you, you started blabbering about the song he didn't even know existed. You told him to take you to your studio where you showed him the song with a pout and mad puppy eyes. Mingyu felt so bad, but at the same time he felt so good because he was sure his heart was a melted puddle on the ground.

Mingyu loved the song, finished or not. He loved everything about it running at you to pinch your cheeks and call you cute then running away with a loud laugh promising he would cook you a feast at an hourly rate. The feast was never cooked because Mingyu was too busy still thinking about the song and being overwhelmed by giddiness. He would not be able to keep his hands away from you for at least two or three weeks.

The8

Song: I Do Adore - Mindy Gledhill

”Everything you do it sends me Higher than the moon with every Twinkle in your eye You strike a match that lights my heart on fire

When you're near, I hide my blushing face And trip on my shoelaces Grace just isn't my forté But it brings me to my knees when you say”

You were in China. Minghao would be gone for some time while filming a show, so he wanted you to come with him. You agreed since you were on break. You forgot one minor detail. You can’t speak mandarin. Of course, you had your boyfriend, but he wasn't always with you which led to some awkward situations. You really didn't know how to tell the elderly man you were, in fact, not his long lost granddaughter. Minghao was currently filming, and he had left you in an empty room in the building telling staff to leave you be.

Minghao had been so patient and sweet (maybe a bit teasing) with you all throughout the trip, you felt inspired to work on the love song you had started a while ago. The room was empty, and the building had pretty thick walls, so you decided not to use your headphones. You would have to take a step back because the thought of Minghao hearing the song made you feel hot and made you bury your head into your hands shaking the nerve racking thoughts away. You were so immersed in the song nodding along to the beat, you didn't notice the man entering the wrong room until you felt a hand on your shoulder and a voice speaking in rapid mandarin. Turns out the man was a producer and really liked your song. You sat there with wide eyes frozen in your seat as the man spoke excitedly. Fortunately, Minghao wrapped up filming seeing the situation and quickly coming to your rescue. He talked with the man a bit before the producer left telling Minghao his partner wrote great love songs.

He asked you about it, and you would give in showing him the song while shyly hiding behind your hands. Hearing the song, Minghao would have to bite his lip to stop the big smile threatening to take over his face. He’d bury his face in your hair softly kissing your forehead and asking you why you did weird things to his heart while softly laughing. Minghao would ask to hear the song daily, always taking you in his arms as he listened to the sweet song.

Seungkwan

Song: Spring Love - Eric Nam x Wendy

“We fell asleep on a bench, leaning on each other The sweet cherry blossom colors the clear sky I wish it was always like this The name that changed us, spring spring spring I love you, I love you, I love you

Be my spring, I’ll always be your flower I hope we can melt each other and open each other up Our heart to heart that wasn’t visible before Now we’re facing each other The hidden flower is finally blooming I think spring has come”

You were curled up on Seungkwan’s bed working hard on the song you wanted to give to him as an anniversary present. It was basically finished, you just needed to add some finishing touches to it. You didn't notice that in trying to prepare this beautiful present for your boyfriend, you had neglected the poor man. He had enough, coming into the room whining and flopping down onto the bed telling you to pay attention to him while glaring at your laptop. He suggested going for a walk which you happily agreed to practically getting dragged out the building.

You hummed happily grasping Seungkwan’s hand in yours as he laughed and made jokes about stupid things the members had done. He asked about your day contentedly swinging your joined hands. The walk eventually turned quiet with the both of you enjoying each other’s presence and the nice weather. You felt so calm and peaceful you didn't notice yourself start to hum and softly sing the very song you were working on. Seungkwan asked you what song was stuck in your head, and you felt your soul leave your body. You tried lying by naming random songs, but Seungkwan had always been able to read you well, so he knew you were lying. You eventually gave in with slumped shoulders telling him you had made a song for him. He immediately asked to hear it, and you showed it to him returning back to the dorms. His voice trembled as he whispered words of gratefulness against your neck tenderly kissing the skin there as he sniffled trying to get his emotions together.

Seungkwan would demand to be on the song. He wanted to give back to you in some way, and he wanted to be a part of this beautiful song you created. It was a song he would always randomly sing laughing obnoxiously when the members asked him what song he was singing. He would sing it to you when you were near him tracing lines along your skin while smiling adoringly at you. He was just always singing the song.

Vernon

Song: Spring Memories - N.Flying

“Let’s fill each other’s empty spots I’ll comfort you just like we did back then

On that spring dazzling day

It won’t be like the first time but you’re always dazzling It’s like magic, on the same day So spring can eternally dazzle”

You sipped at the drink you had ordered at the café you and Vernon always met at, or more like walked up the counter and got asked “the usual” and you nodded while taking a seat in the corner of the quaint room waiting for Vernon. As always you wore a mask and hat. The café was in the quieter part of the city, but you could never be too careful. The barista who had long ago been able to recognize you had even given a dessert of your choice on the house. Deciding to work on the song you had been working on, your eyes didn't leave the screen of your laptop.

You were confused when your vision suddenly went dark, but you were quickly able to recognize Vernon’s cologne. Grabbing a hold of his hands you turned around being met with his bashful yet bright smile. Slipping your headphones down to your neck, you got up to give him a hug. You had been tinkering with the lyrics, so they were on display on the screen. Vernon was facing the screen, and you didn't notice him reading the lyrics. It wasn't until a little bit after you sat down that he asked about the song. His eyes were filled with confusion. He mentioned that you never wrote love songs, usually being in charge of the more personal songs. “Well now that I have a wonderful muse to inspire me I can”. He asked if you were serious with a growing smile on his face. All your attention was on him now as you rested your chin on your hand softly nodding at him. He took in your answer and the warmth in your eyes not being able to stop himself from shoving his face into his hands to hide his flushed cheeks. You simply laughed taking his hand away to adoringly touch the tinted skin of his cheek before driving the conversation away from the song promising to send it to him when it was done.

When you did send the song to Vernon, someway, somehow, he would make it his ringtone. Proudly smiling when his phone rang and shaking his head when the members asked what song it was. This would actually give him the courage to show you all the raps he has written about you when he was too shy to show you before.

Dino

Song: Life Is Rosy - Jess Penner

“I watch the sun, it's setting in your eyes Can you tell I'm wrapped up in your spell Yeah, it's all good and well I think I realize Beautiful yeah it's so wonderful Oh, darlin' don't you know That life is rosy Hey, look at my heart I think it's the start of something new“

Your knee wouldn't stop bouncing, your feet kept wiggling, and your fingers wouldn't stop tapping on your desk. You were nervous, your tongue feeling heavy in your mouth, and your stomach seemingly pushing against your ribs. Chan was going to visit you in the studio, and you were going to show him the song you had written while keeping him in mind. Of course, you had written many love songs before he came into your life, but this was different. Those songs were always inspired by childish assumptions you had on love because of inexperience.

This song was made with flashes of his smile and touch constantly flashing in your head. You groaned running your hands through your hair freezing when you heard a knock on your studio door. Wiping your sweaty palms on your pants, you opened the door relaxing when you saw Chan’s smile face as he greeted you with a hug and a playful poke at your abdomen. You timidly told him you had something to show him slipping your headphones onto his ears before dropping your hands to rest them on his shoulders. Turning around you caught your reflections on the mirror that rested against the wall. Him, a young but amazing dancer in the industry, and you, a young but talented producer in the same industry. You were so focused on the mirror you didn't see Chan taking off the headphones to turn the chair around and pull you into his lap. He would cling on to you tightly because wow he was so in love with you. Every flaw and every quirk he loved because it meant getting to see your smile and have you in his arms. His talented little producer was someone he swore he would never let go of.

Chan would be a bit quiet for a little bit, because he was just taking it all in. It suddenly weighed on him what you mean to him. You had become someone to him that he would drop anything for. Someone that always made his heart beat faster at close proximity, and no matter how he thought of it, he wouldn't change that for the world.

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magpiemorality · 4 years

Note

Platonic intruality with Remus as Patton’s guardian angel :0? Idk it’s an idea I had that I don’t think I could execute well but I think you could!! If I may add one more thing, could it be hurt comfort? I don’t wanna specify more because I wanna see what you do with it!!! (Okay bye now ily!)

This spiraled into something monstrous and painful and very, very cathartic. I hope it doesn’t hurt anyone to read, do watch the warnings. And remember; it is a story, and not an instruction booklet. Because of subject matter I’ve put a little summary in so there’s more warning about what’s coming!

And to you Chris, thanks for the prompt. It was special to write, in many ways.

The Hardest Fight Of All

Guardian Angel Remus has been assigned to help Patton Abbott, a sweet high school student with a very normal, decent life; nothing easy to spot for Remus to fight. But if the threat isn’t from outside, then it may be coming from within.

Warnings: Mental Health Issues, negativity, Unreliable Narrator, Self-Esteem Issues, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Emotional self-harm, what might be construed as bad handling of an individual with mental health issues, death mention (metaphorical).

AO3

***

Patton Abbot didn't deserve his guardian angel. No really. He was sure he was nice enough, and he tried to be kind to everyone he could and forgive anyone that did him harm, but he didn't deserve a guardian angel for that! He wasn't in much danger, he didn't have a lot to complain about, with his perfectly normal life and normal parents and normal school. He even had normal friends! It felt selfish to have a guardian angel when he wasn't suffering at all really, and he hadn't earned it through doing anything particularly good either.

His guardian angel loudly, passionately and regularly disagreed, but Patton had yet to be convinced. Remus was lovely, but there were so many more deserving people that needed his help! He was flattered Remus seemed to enjoy being his guardian angel and hanging around with him but it was probably only because he was forced, and Patton was good at acting nice so at least he hoped he wasn't making the angel's job too awful.

That was if you asked Patton, at least. Remus would have a different perspective on things. But Patton hadn't... actually asked him? Because he was so obviously lying when he insisted Patton did deserve his presence and protection, because Patton didn't deserve it.

Over time though, something changed. Remus started to lose his glow, his wings began to droop and he stopped skipping and floating around above the ground, steps dragging heavier and heavier on the floor. Patton was terrified, constantly checking in with him because Remus was too important to feel bad, or get sick, or whatever it was that was happening! Patton had to help him!

When he woke up one morning to find Remus leaning on the windowsill, gazing despondently out at the garden and the rest of the houses he started to really panic. He had to be hurting the angel somehow, but how?! And how could he fix it?!

"Remus? What- what's up bud? You know you can always talk to me right? I think you're awesome, and you deserve to be happy!"

"I'm not so sure."

"You do!" Patton insisted, placing a hand between his wing joints on his back. "You do so much good, you're always taking care of me and you're so kind and lovely and fun and you-"

"It's taken me a while, you know," Remus interrupted. Patton went quiet apart from a soft, questioning hum. "To figure out why I was sent to you."

Ah. "Well it must have been a mistake, like I said before, but that's okay, you can consider-"

"Patton for the love of the sky and the stars; shut up."

Patton shut up, trying not to let the harshness hurt. He knew he'd been babbling on a bit, so it was probably his own fault, and after all even angels only had a certain amount of patience. And Patton knew he was annoying. But it still hurt just a little bit.

Remus rounded on him, eyes alight for the first time in weeks. He grabbed Patton by the shoulders and steered him back to the bed, sitting him down on the edge firmly and moving back to pace in front of him. Patton waited, still conscious of the reprimand, until Remus finally burst.

"I can't believe it took me so long! Honestly, I wasn't sure there was much to do here; you seemed so happy so much of the time, and you get along with almost everyone! Sure there's the odd bully, but its only ever in situations you put yourself into knowing they'll come, like that video channel thing of yours, and I suppose I assumed you realised you could just leave if you didn't want to see it all. You were so nice to them, too nice! But even when I visited them, sorted that out for you, or got you to spend time away from it, you were still... so hurt. And now, now I see the true problem. It's worse than I thought, and I'm- I'm so sorry I didn't see before, but I'm also angry, and it's not at you but it is-"

Unsurprising, Patton thought. That made sense, after all.

"Because the evil that I'm supposed to battle for you... is you."

Slightly more surprising. "Come again?" Patton asked, apologising quickly for speaking up. Remus bared his teeth as fury flashed over his face, flaring bright again for a moment. He looked... terrifying, but glorious. An angel in battle.

"There is no greater threat to you than yourself. And I don't know how to fight that! I'm angry because I'm sad; why would you attack yourself so viciously day after day, hour after hour, word after word and never afford yourself a single iota of the kindness you afford others?!" He stopped, chest heaving, and Patton felt the weight of an expected answer. He couldn't reply, just shrugging, which only set Remus off again. "You, the nasty horrible thing inside you, it's killing you! You feel like you're dying, and you just let it happen. I don't- I don't know how to fight that, I don't think I can fight that, and you just- " He growled, his morningstar appearing, only partially there, for him to swing in fury. "Everything they say to you that you rail against in public, you bite back against if those very words are turned on your friends with no mercy, you say the same things in your own head. You are so awful to yourself, you're just like them! I cant fight that!"

Patton swallowed. "It's not a big deal," he said weakly, heart hammering in his ribcage.

"But it is! And I can't do my job if you're the one stopping me at every turn! You don't even know you're doing it, or maybe you do and just pretend you don't, I'm not even sure anymore. But you desire so much better, why can't you take your own damn advice?! I don't- I don't think you even want to feel better sometimes, you've turned your suffering into so much of your identity. Do you actually like being this way...?" He cut off, narrowing his eyes at Patton suspiciously. Patton felt part of him squirm under that gaze, but another small part was quietly begging for the angel to go on, to finish lancing this horrid, deep-seated, ancient boil of Bad.

"It's not fair!" Remus finished. "You're doing it to yourself! Do you know how easy that is to stop?!"

Those were the words that finally got Patton up on his feet. Because no matter the truth of the rest of it; that was a lie. "It's not easy! It's not!" Thoughts of therapy and mental health diagnoses and the difficult of facing everything alone when it was easier to just suffer and frame it in martyrdom and help everyone and hope, pray that one day someone would help him too.

(And then push it away away away when that same help was offered back, falling into misery when that endless push- desperately testing his friends to their limits because he knew they'd get tired eventually- turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy as they ran out of support to throw against his walls of self-hatred and negativity)

Remus stepped forwards until they were chest to chest, gazing down from his height, fully blazing bright in the innocuous setting of Patton's bedroom. "But it is. If you want to."

Patton sat down again with a thump, feeling faint and nauseous. There was a moment of silence before he burst into tears, pulling his knees up to hide his face in. He wasn't even sure why he was crying. Because of the horrible cruel words? Because he didn't deserve even this harsh kindness (that felt like staring at the sun without protection or touching electricity, raw and painful and unfiltered for his comfort) after how awful he'd been? Because... because it felt terrible to even think about the fact that this could be his fault in some way?! And now Remus hated him just like the rest and he was going to leave and Patton would be alone and-

Two warm, gentle hands came up to cup his face and tilt it back into view, and Remus was there, looking stern and serious but not angry anymore. The relief that flooded through Patton was almost euphoric, like the weight of the entire sky lifted back up off his lungs. "I can't fight this battle alone, Patton," the angel said. "And I can't fight it at all if you don't truly, deeply, one hundred percent want me to fight it. To do that you need to understand that it's your battle too, that you have to put your armour on and go to war alongside me, if we're to have any chance at success. Because right now you're on their side, and you're sabotaging us from within."

"But it's my condition! My brain doesn't-"

"You think I don't know about that?" Remus frowned, rubbing his cheeks gently. "You've got medication. You've got a therapist, you have people who are trying their hardest to love and support you. But you can't survive the ocean on a raft of other people's making. It will stop you sinking, for a time- perhaps even for a long time, but you won't get any closer to shore unless you start to paddle. And as you paddle you'll also have to patch up any cracks in the raft with your own hands, perhaps with the materials you're given but the work to stitch it all together and sail it has to be your own. It's- I'm not a fan of metaphors but do you see? You can't be the only one not contributing to your own recovery."

"I'm not recovering from anything, I just have a negative self image and... and some other things. But they're bad! They're not things you get better from-" Patton tried, voice trembling and weak. Remus just looked at him, hands still on his face.

"Aren't they?" He asked simply. "You don't think you could ever manage to feel better than you do right now? You think all the stories of people improving their lives are... made up? You think, perhaps, that the medication is all a placebo, that once you've labelled the problem it's made permanent and nothing can ameliorate the symptoms or make life easier to live?" The angel leaned in and dropped a kiss to Patton's forehead, leaving a warm tingling in its wake. "The world would burn, if that were true," he whispered, before standing up.

Patton just kept on sitting in silence, face itching as his tears started to dry on his skin.

Remus gave him a small but real smile. "You've got plenty to think about. Consider my pitch; without you I will continue to fight the war, hopeless though it may be, but with you..." He grinned properly then. "Oh the things we could achieve, dear one."

And off he vanished, in a flutter of feathers and the sound of moving light.

It left Patton feeling as though, in the space of only maybe half an hour, the entire world had changed around him. He wondered, as he lay down on his bed, exhausted and reaching for his favourite plushie for comfort, whether what Remus said was what his therapist secretly wanted to say. It was a funny thought, mild-mannered Dr Picani ranting like the passionate angel, but Patton barely managed a lift of his lips. He needed to rest, and then he'd start to think about all this. If it wasn't true, if the angel was mistaken, seeing things that weren't there because of how boring it was being Patton's guardian; then nothing really needed to change except he would renew his efforts to get Remus reassigned.

If it was true though? Then that changed everything, and Patton Abbott would have a lot of hard work ahead.

He wished he knew which one he was hoping for.

#writepie #ts patton #ts remus #platonic intruality #ts writing #ts sanders sides #ts sanders sides aus #ts sanders sides fic #sanders sides #under a read more so people can see the warnings first

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cicinicole-14 · 3 years

Note

SO fucking excited for part 4! Feel free to just drop it the moment you wake up

yes I realize you sent this so long ago but here’s part 4 :) cant guarantee when the rest is coming, but I really missed posting.

also I know I warned yall forever ago, but im warning u again, you sure u want part 4? welp, here you go! I will be posting my terrible tiktok I made with this too btw.

Part Four

It had been three days of silence. Three blissful days of silence and drama free moments before all hell broke loose. Before endless texts messages blew up her phone and it hadn’t stopped ringing in the past hour.

And then came the knocking.

And then the yelling.

And the threats.

“Jo!” She can hear through the door, between the knocks. “I know you’re in there! Your car’s here!” The knocking continues. “I’ll knock the door down.”

She shuffles out of bed on her only day off. She’s not sure how she managed to avoid Meredith or how Alex avoided her until now. But she knew it was going to happen sometime.

“Jo! Open the doo––” Meredith is cut off by Jo sliding the door open and letting her in. “Thank you!” She sighs dramatically. “Now, what is this I hear about Alex being back in town? Where is he? Is he here? What is he doing here?” She rattles off, not leaving room for Jo to start explaining yet.

Jo raises a brow in question and Meredith closes her mouth, taking the hint and making her way to the couch, ready to listen.

Jo follows suit, pulling a leg up underneath herself and propping her arm against the back of the couch and leans against it. She takes a deep breath before beginning to explain the entire story from her telling Alex about the baby, him not replying and just showing up, to him fighting for full custody of the kids and admitting he was still in love with Jo.

“He wrecked me, Meredith. He completely wrecked me, more than anyone else ever has. He tore down all the walls I put up. He made me trust him, love him, believe in him, and then he left.” She’s past fighting back the tears and just lets them freely fall. “I’ve done nothing but cry myself to sleep the past three days because of how much stress is on me now. I have no idea what to even do. I know I did the right thing by telling him, but it sucks and I hate it and I wish he never showed up, but god Mer, it's Alex.”

Meredith just nods, knowing exactly what she means. She knows that if it were Derek she’d still drop everything again to be with him, because he was it for her. He was her one great big love, and like Derek, Alex was Jo’s.

“He was my person when Cristina left, but he’s an ass now.” It makes Jo crack the smallest of smiles in laughter before breaking into a bout of tears again.

There’s silence in the loft for a moment before a knock breaks it and both women furrow their brows in confusion before Jo begs Meredith to answer the door as she leans back into the couch, whining.

Meredith slides it open to reveal a shocked looking Alex on the other side, clearly not expecting the blonde to answer the door. “Jo’s not here.” She says bluntly.

“Meredith, please, I can see her on the couch.” Alex argues.

“Jo’s not here.” Jo says from the couch.

“Can I just––” He tries but Meredith gives him a glaring look.

Jo sits up, looking across the loft at him, locking eyes with him. He gives her a pleading look, begging her to let him just speak.

Jo can feel the worry and stress swimming around her. She can feel her heart beating in her chest and the anxiety creeping up her spine. She can feel her blood pressure rising and the air in her lungs becoming shallower.

She nods towards both Meredith and Alex, not yet fully trusting her voice, knowing it would fail her if she tried to speak.

She feels her head pounding and she presses her fingers against her temple as she hears Alex thank Meredith for letting him in.

“Let me speak first.” She decides on a whim, quickly interrupting him before he can begin. “You, Alex, are beyond something else.” She fumes, standing up, letting her anger finally hit her full force. “I honestly cannot believe you.” She seethes. “First, you disappear to another state and tell me by sending me divorce papers. Then I find out I’m pregnant with your baby and you just show up out of the blue without warning and tell me you’re still in love with me? Alex, what the hell are you getting at? What––what is this? What’s going on? Why are you doing this? Was this planned? Was this some scheme to get me to finally love and trust you and the rip the rug out from underneath me once I felt secure, and then expect me take you back with open arms? You wrecked me, Alex. You utterly and thoroughly wrecked me.” She shouts, hands shaking, chest heaving as she tries to calm herself down.

“I never meant for any of this to happen.” He starts. Jo glares at him.

“I mean it, Jo. I never meant for this to happen. I never meant to fall so hard in love with you. I never should’ve left you. Leaving was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. I regret every part of it. I should’ve told you the moment Izzie told me about the twins. I should’ve stayed. We should’ve been a family together because I have a house there, but here with you is my home.”

Jo huffs. “Well, I changed the locks. You’re not welcome at home anymore. You wrecked me, Alex. You promised me that you would never leave, and you did. You left. And I really don’t care if you stay or not. I don’t care if you live here or Kansas or anywhere, I’d never keep you from your child. I just figured I should tell you. Despite our issues, our baby deserves to have both of their parents.” She finishes, making sure to throw shade, yet still making sure Alex knew that she really had no intention of ever keeping his child from him unlike Izzie had.

She sits, feeling a sudden intense pressure in her lower stomach at that very moment. She pushes it away, trying to focus on Alex while her head spins.

She presses back on the pain in her stomach as tears prick her eyelids.

“You okay?” The loft grows quiet as Alex asks softly.

Meredith sits down next to Jo, offering comforting hand rubbing her back as Jo squeezes her eyelids shut in pain.

Alex doesn’t risk getting berated, so he keeps his distance as dread courses through his body as the puzzle pieces click in his mind. His thoughts are confirmed as Jo stands, with Meredith’s help as she speaks hoarsely.

“I––I think I’m losing the baby.”

I’m not sorry for this… anyway feel free to yell at me 🙃

#jolex #jolex fic #cici writes #tell the world im coming home

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asphalt-cocktail · 4 years

Text

Third Time’s the Charm

Summary: Little snippets of your and Ben’s childhood friendship and when you finally realized you loved him.

A/N: Hi everyone! This is for DTFRogertaylor’s Valentine’s Day event! I got the ever lovely @killer-queen-xo. I hope you enjoy the story! I had a ton of fun writing it and sorry it’s a day late!

Pairing: Ben Hardy x F!Reader

Warnings: Language, angst, lots of fluff

Word Count: 4.8k

When you broke your arm, 6 years old

A knock at your front door alerted your parents to guests, they opened the door to reveal a nice looking woman, an older man and a young boy around your age. The grown ups talked and you were told to “Go out side and play with Ben, sweetie.” Reluctantly you agreed to follow this chubby cheeked blonde haired boy outside to your back yard.

“I’m Ben.” He gave you a big grin, you felt slightly jealous that he had already lost his first tooth. You could tell by big gap in his grin.

“I’m [Y/N],” you offered shyly.

Your folks were still in the middle of unpacking, only having just arrived that morning which unfortunately meant your outside toys were packed away. But, you followed Ben’s gaze to the large oak tree that stood in the middle of your back yard, “I bet you cant get to the top.” Ben challenged you.

You shy timid nature was suddenly shattered, Ben had no idea how seriously your five year old self too challenges, especially from some smug boy “I can do it.” You retorted, running towards the tree as fast as your tiny legs could carry you.

You easily caught your footing on the seemingly perfect placed tree branches and up, up, up you went, “I told you I could do it!” You shouted back at Ben. Your leg slipped on one of the thinning branches and your heart thumped loudly in your chest. You put on a brave face and turned, sitting on a tree branch and looking down to where Ben looked like a tiny ant. You could see everything from up here, well just the tops of the surrounding neighborhood houses, but to your small mind it felt like you could see the whole world.

Ben grinned manically up at you “I cant believe you did it!” He shouted, “I’m gonna come up!” He scrambled towards the base of the climbing tree.

Your watched him run to the base of the tree and suddenly it felt as though you climbed too high. You looked around and attempted to find a place to lower yourself, but the branches became a jumbled mess. You felt overwhelmed and your chest began to heave with nervousness, “Wait!” You yelled back, sounding terrified, “Don’t come up until I come down, I need help.” You felt tears pricking at your vision and sniffed, wiping your eyes.

“Don’t worry!” He looked up at you and held his arms out bravely, “I got you!” He promised.

You shook your head, “I cant do it.” Your vision went blurry and your shoulders shook from crying.

Ben’s face softened “Just jump,” he urged you, “I’ll catch you I promise!”

For some reason, you believed him.

You waved in and out of consciousness, remembering your father carrying you to the car. Ben apologizing frantically and what seemed like an endless number of doctors until you finally woke up.

Your arm was broken in three spots from your fall, it was going to heal just fine but for now you had on an ugly flesh tone cast that prevented you from moving it. You looked around the hospital room, past your parents, “Is Ben here?” You asked eagerly.

Your mother and father looked at each other with slightly apprehensive looks on their face, “Yeah, he’s in the waiting room sweetie.” Your mom said.

“I wanna show him my cast! Can he sign it?” You asked moving your arm, but wincing at the pain.

Your mom sighed, “Yeah I’ll go get him.” She said before walking to the waiting room.

Within a few minutes Ben and his folks filled the room, “Aw man! I thought you died!” Ben grinned at you and scrambled up to sit next to you on the hospital mattress, avoiding his mother’s scolding remarks. He made himself comfortable and sat cross legged, “I thought I really could catch you, you know, but then I didn’t and you just hit the ground like a sack of rocks. You shudda seen your arm!” He eagerly babbled on and on about your fall, and you listened.

When he finished his story you held your arm out to show off your cast, “I want you to be the first on to sign it!” You grinned at him.

Ben looked at you in awe. Signing a cast was a big deal.

Well according to the two of you it was .

He messily scrawled his name down, the letters looking wobbly and unpracticed, “When you break your arm I’ll be the first one to sign it too, promise?” You asked looking up at him wide eyed.

Ben’s brows knit together, “I promise.” He answered back sounding determined.

————

Your First Boyfriend, 18 years old

You were 18 and it was your first year at University, you met Jake in an English class. He offered to edit your papers and wore button downs every day you saw him in class. Naturally a college romance blossomed.

You couldn’t get enough of him, he was funny, smart, charming; truly a package deal. You couldn’t wait to introduce him to your high school best friend, Ben, this was what would seal the deal.

In the weeks leading up to your planned dinner together, you would not stop talking about Jake to Ben.

“Oh my gosh, I can’t wait for you to meet him!” You practically squealed on the phone.

Ben laughed and the phone line crackled, “You’ve been talking about him nonstop for the last three days.” You could hear the grin in his voice and as he spoke.

You laid on your lumpy dorm mattress and looked up at the white painted ceiling, “I know, I’m just excited is all.” You matched his grin, “I think the two of you are really gonna hit it off. He’s into sports too you know.”

“Is that all your basing our friendship off of?” Ben quipped, teasing you, “You know a lot of people like sports.”

After your phone call, you laid back onto your bed. A sudden wave of nerves washing over you; what if he and Ben didn’t get along? What if Ben was different? It was going to be the first time the two of you saw each other since your college moves. Your nerves and excitement churned your tummy in an unpleasant way and kept you awake for most of the night.

You tossed and turned, moving your pillow around, adjusting your blankets, and listening to the rowdy college students that walked through the hallways.

The following morning when you met Ben at the train station, he greeted you with a big warm hug. You inhaled his scent, it reminded you of home.

“So where is this Jake guy?” Ben pressed, throwing his bag into your car.

You shrugged, “He had class this morning so he couldn’t come with, but don’t worry you’ll meet him at dinner!” You tapped at the steering wheel nervously.

Ben told you all about his acting coach and how much he loved living in London. His eyes were bright with excitement as he talked, it caused a surge of warmth to spread through your chest. Ben was always so animated when he talked about something he was passionate for.

Getting to spend the whole day with Ben was exciting and nice, seeing him reminded you of home and back when you weren’t piled neck deep in essays. But, dinner time was what you were truly excited for; your two favorite boys getting to meet each other at last.

You showered and dressed in the bathroom attached to your dorm suite while Ben waited patiently for you to finish getting ready. You wore something casual, yet still nice. When you stepped back into your dorm room Ben’s face lit up, he cast a familiar, warm smile at you “You look great!” He complimented.

A wave of bashfulness washed over you, “Thank you, Benny” You smiled softly at him. “You clean up nicely too.” You said noting how he had changed into a nice button down while you had been getting ready.

When the two of you arrived at the restaurant, Jake had already gotten a table for the two of you inside. Ben was nervous, what if this Jake fella was a complete and total prick? His feelings for you had teetered over the line of best friend for quite sometime now and as much as that it pained him to hear you talk on and on about how great Jake was, he, in all honesty, just wanted you to be happy.

When Ben’s eyes fell upon the infamous Jake he noted the man’s tall thin stature and dark hair, almost the complete opposite of Ben. He pursed his lips into a thin line and felt a pang of jealousy wash over him when Jake greeted you with a hug and kiss on the cheek.

“Jake,” you grinned, “This is Ben, my best friend from back home.”

Ben reached his hand out and gripped Jakes in a firm hand shake; it was as though either one was trying to establish dominance via who gave off the firmer grip, “Pleasure.” Ben said giving a too friendly smile.

The you and Jake sat across from Ben in the booth, “So, [Y/N] tells me you’re going to school for engineering?” Ben asked.

Jake looked up from his bowl of pasta, “Oh yeah, materials focused. I liked music, but the arts didn’t seem like a very practical field of study for future jobs.”

Oof, that felt like a personal attack. Ben’s shoulder’s tensed ever so slightly, “A lot of people don’t go into the arts because they’re too weak to take constructive criticism.” Ben humbled, raising his glass to his lips and quirking his brow at Jake.

“Ben is going to school for acting!” You excitedly mentioned, “He was telling me all about his acting coach and the show he is doing for this semester-”

“I know, [Y/N],” Jake let out a less than amused laugh, “You’ve mentioned it practically a hundred times.” You sunk back into your seat, the familiar glimmer your eyes held now dampened. Ben did not like the tone Jake took with you.

As the night progressed, Ben tried to keep an open mind; but, to put it frankly, he hated Jake. He hated how Jake obviously looked down on you and though he was vastly smarter than you and the condescending remarks he would make and the way Jake constantly had to be holding your hand and shot you a look whenever you tried to take it away from him. None of it sat well with Ben.

“So, Ben, where are you staying tonight?” Jake asked, wiping his mouth with a napkin before he reached back and grabbed your probably too sweaty hand.

“[Y/N]’s floor.” Ben answered truthfully.

“You’re sleeping in the same room at her?” He pressed, brows furrowed.

“Yeah, we’re in college, mate,” Ben reminded your boyfriend, “It’s hard to afford a hotel for a few nights.” The fact that Ben was sleeping on your floor wasn’t anything out of the ordinary for your friendship. When the two of you were younger you would have sleepovers all the time.

“It’s not weird, Jake,” You gave him a reassuring smile and lightly squeezed his hand.

Jake made a face, showing his obvious discomfort with the situation, “Seems a bit weird to me.”

You let out a huff, “What do you not trust me?” You bit back harshly. An uncomfortable air settled between you three and you abruptly shook your hand away from Jake’s, “We’re all adults here, I’m sure Ben and I can sleep in the same room and not have it be weird.” You smoothed your hands over your jeans, “I’m sorry Jake is being so rude, Ben. He normally doesn’t act like this.”

Ben shrugged his shoulders “It’s okay.” It wasn’t, “I’m going to use the restroom I’ll be right back.” He said tossing his napkin from his lap onto the table.

“Fucking hell.” He mumbled, washing his hands with warm water and staring into the mirror. Part of him didn’t want to go back out and face the two of you arguing, he knew that once you got going on something there was really no way for you to back down. But, Jake wouldn’t know that after only knowing you for two months now would he?

Once Ben left the restroom he caught sight of you and Jake still locked in a heated debate and slowly meandered his way over to the table. You rubbed your face in frustration, “You can either sleep at my place and leave Ben in your dorm, or we can break up,” Jake angrily stated. You were obviously not happy with the result.

Ben gaped at your boyfriend, what the hell had he just walked into? You abruptly stood up, throwing a fist full of cash onto the table and grabbed Ben’s arm, “Let’s go.” You said tugging him to leave. You were practically seething with anger as you pulled your best friend through the restaurant, ignoring the stares you got.

“I’m sorry, [Y/N]” Ben said softly once the two of you got to your car, “I didn’t mean to ruin things.” He truly hadn’t, he just wanted to see you happy.

“I cant believe he couldn’t trust me,” You said your voice wavering with emotion. You gripped your steering wheel determined to not let the warm tears that stung at your eyes spill over. You were determined to be strong.

Ben turned towards you, a small frown on your face “Come here,” He said softly, pulling you into his chest, “[Y/N], you deserve so much better than that guy back there.” He cooed while resting his chin on your head.

You inhaled deeply; Ben smelt like spearmint gum, the cheap cologne you always made fun of him for wearing, and home. You finally let out a broken sob, allowing yourself to relax into Ben’s warm and familiar embrace, “I cant believe that he would actually think I would just leave you all alone in my room like that.” You said into Ben’s chest, your words muffled, “I made you come all the way from London to visit me, I’m not throwing it away just because some suit tells me to.”

Ben couldn’t help but let out a little laugh, “You know I was going to wait tell you this, but I brought a box of those cookies my mom always bakes with.”

You pulled away and looked at Ben, eyes red and slightly swollen from tears, “Ben, those are my favorite.” Your face contorted once more as you threatened to cry. Your best friend cupped your face, wiping away your tears and you smiled at him before leaning over to place a soft kiss on his cheek, “Thanks, Ben, what did I do to deserve a best friend like you.”

—————

His date to the world premier 28 years old

You stood in the mirror and looked at yourself. You could hardly believe that the person who looked back at you was in face yourself. Ben invited you to accompany him to the special premier of his most recent movie, Bohemian Rhapsody. You knew it was going to be big, but you didn’t think it was going to be designer dress, get your hair and makeup professionally done, big. But it was.

“Come on, the car is going to be here soon to pick us up!” Ben shouted as he walked past the door in long rushed strides. He stopped and backed up before turning to look at you once more, “You clean up nicely.” He gave you the same cheeky grin and admiring the soft curve of your hips in the dress he helped you pick out.

Your face felt hot when you looked at Ben, his black suit jacket covered his black mesh top, only allowing a stripe of skin to show. You swallowed thickly, suddenly the tight bodice of your dress felt too tight for you to breathe comfortably, “You, uh, you look nice too.” You attempted to play it cool, but your voice gave away your struggle.

“The car.” Ben said suddenly breaking the silence.

“Oh right! Shit, I need to get my shoes on, give me a second.” You said quickly sliding one foot into your pumps. You struggled to balance on one heeled foot and wobbled, your arms spreading out to steady yourself. You stumbled slightly “Woah,” You mumbled, furrowing your eyebrows now determined to put your shoe on. Ben reached out and his surprisingly soft hands gripped yours in his own. He stood firmly and you felt something stir within the depths of your belly from his touch. You ignored your swimming thoughts and slipped your other shoe on with ease.

What you had pictured this grandiose event to be was dwarfed by the actual scale of the event. As soon as you and Ben exited the limo you were met with a barrage of flashing lights and a wall of people yelling. The sounds overwhelmed your senses and the voices of the thousands of people gathered soon morphed into one giant voice that hammered away at your ear drums and caused your head to spin. You gripped Ben’s hand tightly and buried your face into the back of his shoulder as you stood behind him while he and his costars conversed with a reporter.

Ben glanced over his shoulder and leaned his head onto yours, his thumb smoothing over the skin on the back of your hand, “You okay?” He murmured.

You looked at him with wide and slightly terrified eyes, “‘M fine.” You huffed out.

Ben let out a small huffing laugh “Liar.” He teased, “I’ll be right back, I’ve got to show [Y/N] where the bathroom is.” He said politely excusing himself and leading you to a back area with refreshments. He grabbed a bottle of fancy water and opened it before handing it to you.

You drank down the cool liquid and sighed, “How the hell do you do it?” You asked shaking your head in disbelief.

Ben shrugged his shoulders, “It’s overwhelming, but it’s also nice to know so many people are appreciating something that you do.” He stuffed his hands into his fitted dress pants and pursed his lips into a thin line, “It helps having you with though, you know, it eases the nerves a bit.” His cheeks were flushed a slight pink color and he was smiling softly.

After the after party and a healthy amount of drinks the two of you some how managed to stumble your way back to the hotel suite Ben had booked for the night. You held your heels in one hand and leaned on Ben’s shoulder while the two of you giggled about nothing and fumbled through your purse to find the key card, “Come on, Ben.” You whined and slurred your words together from intoxication, “My feet hurt and I have to pee.” You leaned on him, your chin resting on his shoulder as Ben continued to rummage through your purse, past the lipstick and cards that made up its contents.

Ben turned towards you, your noses practically touching. He let out a shaky breathy that bounced off your face, it smelled like alcohol but you didn’t mind. “I found it.” He stated holding the card up, his voice suddenly gone hoarse.

He struggled to swipe it through the card reader, distracted by how your breath tickled the hairs on the back of his neck. He threw the door open and let out a sigh of relief once you pulled away from him. You quickly pushed past him and flopped down onto the bed, spreading your arms out and snuggling onto the soft comforter.

Ben messily kicked his shoes off and began to unbutton his mesh shirt. You glanced over at him and you felt heat spread from the tip of your nose to the back of your neck.

You sat up and handed Ben his jacket that he graciously gave you to keep you warm during the after party before you began to struggle with the zipper on the back of your dress. You stood up, your arms and body contorting in different ways so you could attempt to reach the zipper, but it proved to be a far bigger struggle than you were prepared for, “Benny?” You asked in a small voice.

He glanced up at you, swaying from side to side. You didn’t know if it was from nerves or alcohol, “Hmm?” He hummed.

You turned your back to him “Can you help me?” You sounded sheepish.

Ben swallowed thickly “yeah, course.” He answered and padded over to you.

He gripped the small zipper in his large fingers and eased it down, his face feeling hotter and hotter as more and more skin began to reveal itself to him. Without any thought, his fingertips lightly followed the zipper, tracing your skin in its wake and causing goosebumps to rise on your skin and your nerves to stand on end.

You shivered. You obviously felt it. He felt it.

A thick tension settled between the two of you and you were hit with an abrupt wall of sobriety. “Thank you,” Your voice was just barely above a whisper. You clutched the front of your dress to your chest and you grabbed your sleep clothes before shuffling away to the bathroom, the fabric of your dress pooling around your feet and rustling as you walked.

The following morning your head felt like it was swimming, not because of your hang over, but because of Ben.

The same Ben that had dared you to jump out of a tree when you were 8 years old and caused you to break your arm after he promised to catch you. The Ben that remembered the promise the two of you made after you broke your arm and wouldn’t let the rugby team sign the cast for his broken arm until you did. The Ben that was there for you when your first boyfriend dumped you and there for you for the several others that followed. The Ben that took you to the world premier of his movie and helped you pick out a lavish dress.

You sat in the bathroom, towel wrapped around your body and head in your hands while in deep ponderous thought. Why did you always been so much warmth every time the two of you hugged? You groaned in frustration, you could not have feelings for Ben.

But you knew you did. It gnawed at your insides like a parasite.

You sat there long enough for parts of your hair to dry before Ben knocked at the door, “[Y/N]?” He asked, “You okay in there?” He pressed

You jumped slightly surprised, “Yeah, sorry, just scrolling through twitter.” You answered back before you quickly rushed to get your clothes on.

“Did you still want to get breakfast?” Ben asked, you could hear the hopefulness behind his voice. That boy sure did love food.

You held your hand on the door knob and stared at it before opening it, “Yeah we can.” You answered, a small smile playing on your face.

You opened the door, only to be met staring face to face with Ben. “Excuse me.” You teasingly poked his chest so that he would move.

Ben stepped off to the side and allowed you space to slip past before he went in the bathroom to get ready.

You mindlessly scrolled through social media, but not before your eyes caught a news report on the movie premier. You licked your lips, unsure on if you should click and read through it. Going against your gut feeling you found yourself scrolling through and looking at the glorious images the photographers captured. You saw pictures of yourself and hardly recognized your own face all done up for a Hollywood party, and you saw pictures of Ben looking as stunning as ever on the red carpet.

As you continued to scroll through the feed you took note of the pictures of you and Ben, how he constantly was touching some part of your body in a tasteful manner whether it was a hand placed on the small of your back or lacing his fingers in his own.

It looked… natural…

The little glances that were captured showed how enamored you seemed to be with the man and how he equaled your affectionate gaze. Your stomach clenched at how the two of you looked like an actual couple.

“[Y/N].” Ben said, suddenly sounding close.

You jumped and immediately locked your phone before you turned to the side and smiled at Ben nervously. “Hey,” You said giving him a tight lipped smile.

“Are you okay?” He asked, “You look, off?” He didn’t know the word to use that explained your expression.

It was a combination of awe and longing.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You said and picked at the imaginary lint on your pants, “So about that food.” You let out in a quick breath.

“Oh, right, I’m starved.” He grinned and patted his tummy for added effect.

Despite feeling hungry you picked at your plate like a bird while Ben filled his belly full of breakfast food. “Are you sure you’re fine?” Ben pressed, arching his brow and letting his fork loosely hang in his hand.

You nodded your head, “Yeah, why?”

“You haven’t even put syrup on you pancakes, you just put butter on them and watched it melt.”

Right.

You shrugged, “Dunno, I’m just thinking.” You answered honestly.

Ben quirked his head at you in confusion, “About what?”

You.

“Last night.”

Ben felt his blood freeze, “What about last night?” He put his fork down, “I’m sorry if the paps overwhelmed you, I should have warned you about it ahead of time.” He followed, sounding genuinely worried by your little freak out on the red carpet.

You shook your head, “No it wasn’t that.” You chewed on the bottom of your lip nervously, “I just…” you didn’t know how to properly communicate how you were feeling, “I don’t know, I’m just being dumb.” You looked away and averted his gaze.

Ben reached over the table and gripped your hand in his own, smoothing his fingers over the soft skin on the back of your hand, “Don’t ever say that, [Y/N], you’re one of the most brilliant people I know.” Ben said giving your hand a soft squeeze and letting it linger there for a while.

It felt like his fingertips were burning into your skin. Even when he pulled away, you could still feel them lingering, “Why are you so nice to me.” You asked, half joking.

Ben shifted in his seat uncomfortably, “Because I like you.” He answered honestly and abruptly, “I have since I saw you climb to the top of that tree in your backyard.”

It felt like your heart skipped a beat in your chest, “Ben, that’s been more than twenty years.” You said back to him slightly shocked at his confession.

It felt like your eyes were staring holes right through him, “I know.” He firmly stood his ground on what he said.

You looked down at your hand where his fingers last touched yours and then back up at Ben who was staring at his plate, “I like you too.” You said shyly.

After your breakfast, Ben drove you back to your apartment and walked you up to the door where he lingered for a moment, obviously needing something to say, “Can I take you on a real date?” He asked, suddenly shy and red faced.

You smiled softly at him and shook your head, “Was taking me to the world premier of your movie not a date?” You joked.

Ben laughed and shrugged, “I didn’t know it was, so I told the reporters you were just a friend.” He answered honestly and scratched at the back of his neck.

You couldn’t help but join him in laughter, “Then yes, you can, but only if you kiss me.” You felt a sudden wave of boldness wash over you and your words fell out before you could close up with nerves.

Ben gave you a wide, toothy grin and brought his hand up to your face. He cupped your cheek in his palm and pulled you close, his lips lightly brushed against yours before he closed what little pace there was. His lips were chapped and he tasted like left over syrup from breakfast, but you didn’t mind.

You melted into his touch and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer against you and sighed against his mouth. There was something so familiar about his touch, it comforted you and caused a surge of warmth to spread through your body. The cool December air was long forgotten.

#ben hardy x reader #ben hardy #ben hardy fluff #STL event #reader insert

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fipindustries · 3 years

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list of comics i made so far

i already shared the list of all the novels i tried to write throughout my llife so i see no reason why not to do the same with the comics i tried to work on. no i should clarify, with my lists of novels there was a clear cut distinction between what was a novel and a short story so to parse one from the other was an easy task. it should be known that i wrote hundreds of shorts stories that i havent shared with anyone. now a similar situation occurs with my comics, i have done hundreds upon hundreds of little comics, short jokes, little skits and short lived strips through my life, so in order to give this list some weight and not make it longer than the bible the criteria i used was that it had to be something i did on a regular basis or that tells a self contained story with a beggining middle and end.

now without further ado, lets begin!

spike Vanderville (age 7)

you can tell i was way more into comics than i was into novels from a young age. done with pen and folded paper, it was the story about a young kid called spike, whose design was heavily inspired by bradley from sticking around, who had magical powers which allowed him to manipulate reality. it was a mix of harry potter and a series of illustrates short stories that came in a magazine in argentina. his best friend was a scarecrow with a pumpkin head that he had brought to life, his archnemesis was a fat bully.

curiously enough i was so passionate about this project even though i had no idea what i was doing and no talent that i actually did like three full colored issues of it. my family was really proud of me. sadly those comics are completly lost to time

andrew and the monkey (age 10)

this was the classical story about a boy and his best friend the talking animal. one page comedy strips done in pen and paper. nothing too clever, just a way for me to try lame jokes mostly stolen from spongebob squarepants. not much else to it. i tried to do like a revamp in 2014 but it was short lived, as you can see the jokes didnt get any less lame

FIP industries (age 17)

mostly done in digital. yes as you can see fip is something that has followed me my whole life in quite the variety of mediums. there were as a matter of fact multiple attempts to make this comic a real thing but time and again they would peter off as i saw that my skill was just not up to the task. i think i have talked more than enough about fip industries on this blog, one interesting thing is that if you follow the link you will come across a lot of proto ideas that i had before they cemented and took their definite shape in the novel (and even after the novel i kept retconning and retooling things over and over again, fip industries is an ongoing thing that will probably last my entire lifetime)

Disregarding Reality I (age 20)

the first iteration of disregarding reality, a humorous strip done in pencil and paper, a fairly short lived affair, lasting no more than 3 months. the entire premise of the comic was an MRA activist and a feminist live together, they are friends, they argue a lot. remember 2013 guys? back when this whole politics bullshit truly kicked off online? this was before gamer gate, mind you. but by that point i had seen more than enough of it on tumblr and i was like “someone should do some scathing commentary with wit and penache” and that someone had to be me. mainly inspired by commics like f@nboys and el goonish hive and a thousand billion others that were so popular back in those halcyon days.

i got bored of it pretty quickly and it wouldnt be until three years later than i would finally decide to re-start the project but until then...

Strangers in the forest (age 21)

here comes a rather productive era in my ouvre, ink and paper, based on a short story i wrote, its about an eldritch monster pretending to be human and a ghost girl, killed by her father. they have a dispute because the monster wants to eat the corpse of the girl but the ghost doesnt want to give up her bones because its the one thing that tethers her to the mortal plane. they eventually resolve their dispute. by this point i was actually, unironically trying my best to do comics which i felt looked professional.

Song of a nightmare (age 21)

another one based on a short story i wrote. ink and paper, a private detective wakes up in the middle of the night and sees a mermaid lying in bed next to him. he spends most of the comic trying to figure out how the hell is this possible. still one of my favourite ones and certainly one of my family’s and friends favourites as well. a rather poetic tale, strongly inspired by argentinian fiction and their propensity towards magical realism, i was reading a lot of cortazar back then.

Aika (age 21)

as you can tell i was on a fucking roll that year. ink and paper, this was a story based upon a simple and basic idea that i had in my mind for years and years. i always liked the concept behind the movie “the kid” where bruce willis mysteriously comes across himself as a kid. so of course one day i came up with the idea, what if you recieved a visit from your future self... but she was a woman?

this is probably the most aggresively trans story i ever wrote in my life, it is literally about a guy realizing they are trans and breaking down over it. here is the giant kicker, i did not realize at all what i was doing. i was completly unaware of what was going on here, i was still deep deep in the closet and not even realizing i was there. it really is astounding the honesty and the rawness with which i wrote this comic and it went all over my head. a perfect example of “im such a great ally lol”

oh also there is time travel i guess. my main impetus (beyond whatever my subconcious was forcing me to do) was my desire to make a complete clusterfuck of a story, i was a huge fan of homestuck, i had read fleek and demon, i wanted to do my own take on a hypercomplicated time travel puzzle plot. other things came out on top of it but i didnt noticed them. fucking hilarious

Hello Agatha (age 21)

a comedic strip about a wacky pixie dream girl having wacky adventures with her wacky friends, one of which is a man with a toilet for a head. what a gut buster, what a knee slapper!

there is not much to say about this one, wacky surreal comedy was always my favourite and so time and again i would try my hand at it but it is surprisingly hard to do!

The /co/ ventures! (age 20 - age25)

an ongoing project done in multiple mediums. i think i said more than enough about this in here and here. it was me practiscing comics, practiscing my humor and adding my tiny grain of sand to the 4chan culture. i am proud to say these comics were actually very well liked there and that i would be recognized without a name or signature of any kind, just on the strength of my style.

the vest kind of madness (age 22)

probably one of the projects in which i put the biggest amount of effort to make it look professional. traditional inks and digital colors. a crossover that i cant believe never happened in comics considering how obvious it is. Rac Shade, the changing man and delirium of the endless, the two flagship vertigo characters associated with madness. clearly a match made in heaven.

to this day im flabbergasted i seem to be the only one to think of this.

Disregarding Reality II (age 23)

another work where i have already spilled rivers of bytes explaining my thought process behind it. after having a no good, terrible, very bad day, finding my self aimless and without purpose, deep in denial and depression, i decided to give my self a big project to have something to get me out of bed every day. these three guys came from the depths of my mind to save me.

this time leaning a lot more on silly humor and surrealism than political commentary, still insanely proud of how much i managed to make this last, almost three years, well over 200 pages! and in here i found the inspiration and the creative energy to tackle all sorts of diverse projects of which we are about to see all about.

Mama Bird (age 24)

my masterpiece.

by far the best comic i ever did. a kid with a bird for a mom. hilarious, touching, heartbreaking. it was a concept that i had come up with when i was 21. back then it was supposed to be exclusively a humorous comic strip but then i found a dramatic angle for the story and that was when everything clicked into place. that was when i realized this was a comic i had to do. and i did it. it took me five months but it was well worth it. still insanely proud of this one

Soft boys (age 25)

a weird experimental little story where i decided to sit down and deconstruct one of the most popular superpowers. super elasticity. more akin to me just mashing my toys against each other than me trying to tell a serious story. i am actually really happy with some of the art here and some of the sequences presented. particularly the final one where a brick joke twenty pages in the making finally pays off.

Hexen Snatch (age 25)

a semi spinoff to my novel FIP industries, we focus on a side character that managed to survive after the events of the novel and how they’ll manage to survive further beyond that. insanely soaked by the magical world of pact by widbow i wanted desperatly to share my own take on magic, every page is accompanied by a little text where i expand upon the lore and the way magic is supposed to work on this world. i really like the prose on those snippets and the ideas they work almost more that the comic itself with which i was not happy at all when i was working on it. i didnt like the character design, i didnt like how the art in general was coming out, i didnt like the pacing of the story or how superficially we were getting to expore this world in the comic proper. i had to take a very long hiatus just to accumulate the will to finish the comic and once i did i feel it really petered off without much of a satisfying payoff.

on some level i blame the exhaustion and frustration that i came out of this comic with for the fact that i ended up quitting disregarding reality soon afterwards.

Maxplosive (age 26)

another project that has followed me across multiple mediums. came up with an idea for a videogame back in 2015. saved it on the back pocket for a while, used it as a story within a story on my novel fan.tastic, practisced a couple of animations with the characters and eventually decided that, if my skills at videogame making were not enough, i had at least more than poven myself as a comic artist so maybe that was the definitive medium in which this idea would have to exist.

the original idea was to tell the story in two parts, the first half would introduce the character and the videogame as if the comic was a playthrough of the game. all fun and childlike and innocent. then the second half was meant to explore the life of the main character as an adult, how being “a videogame protagonist” had ruined her body, her mental health and her life. i tried all sorts of weird stuff with the format here, using reciclable assets, static camera angles and generally presenting the whole thing as if it was a videogame.

sadly the project got too big for my breaches, i was fucking exhausted back then, swamped with a bunch of other projects, my job, other responsabilities, unsatisfied with the story and with no idea where to take it. eventually i got tired, decided to skip a day, then the day became a week and then the week became a month and by then i had to face the facts, i was just no longer able to continue the comic. and so i quit not only maxplosive but disregarding reality all together.

i still did the occasional comic here and then but it wouldnt be until the very end of 20-fucking-20 that i was finally inspired to tackle a new project, my newest one, my last one....

Lapsarian (age 27)

an interesting experiment, i decided to do the whole comic in one sit and then post it chapter by chapter on a weekly basis. a surprising result of this was that i managed to do in one month the same amoung of pages that would have taken me 5 months back when i started disregarding reality, is good to see that after al this time i still got it.

took me a while to get the hang of it again and find my own style once more but once i armed up it was smooth sailing for 40 pages all the way to the end. but what is this comic even about?

its... weird, with full disclosure and no shame, it is mostly a fetish story about big lizard creatures commiting vore. the milkman had already shown me that i could do those types of stories and no lighting would come from the heavens to strike me down so i said, why not as a comic? i like to think that beyond the fetish content it is still a decent story in its own right, an interesting feedback that i got from this is that people are suprised how earnest it is, one saying something like “this is the best pitch for a fetish that i was never interested in”

Conclussion:

looking back on this im surprised, turns out i was a lot more prolific and working a lot more regularly than i expected, in here are documented ten years of creative output that never seems to wane. it was fun to do the roundabout trip and see how my style, my technice and generally my work ethic evolved through the years. another nice thing to see is the multiple formats, the multiple tools and mediums i experimented with, i find myself constantly trying new things, new methods, new angles, new interesting ideas for how to make a comic (without even getting into what to make a comic about).

something i always knew about myself was that drawing is a fundamental part of who i am, it is something that just cant be taken away from me and that will always be a part of my life one way or the other, is good to see it so plainly, in black and white, on this list. here goes for what i might be able to do in the future

#art #writing #fip living life

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zarchomp · 4 years

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Bojack Horseman is my favourite show ever, and the more I analyze it, the more I continue to think it is the best show ever made.

I first watched it at a point in my life when I was at the lowest point I'd ever been in. I never felt good, and I felt like I'd never ever be okay. I'd been going to therapy for about 3-4 years at that point, but everything about my life felt completely negative and bad, like I could never be good. I started watching Bojack after finishing some other cartoons like futurama and Rick and Morty. And I genuinely felt like it was a show made for me specifically.

Without even going into any of the themes present in the show, it is beautifully constructed. It is completely consistent with itself, and never leaves any loose threads. Even when you think it will, it doesn't. The storytelling techniques are incredible and ever changing. Fish Out of Water and Free Churro are great examples of how the show can shine beautifully in completely different ways, one being completely without dialogue, and the other as a monologue, taking place in one location. But really, pretty much any episode could be taken and used as an example of how to build an amazing episode of television.

The animation, writing, acting, and sound design is incredible. Obviosuly, one of the worst self sabotaging things Bojack ever did was in New Mexico. The build up to that point, though showing his self sabotaging behaviour in the past makes this scene so believable. Despite pretty much the entire New Mexico storyline being in one 20 minute episode, the guitar sting which represent it are still absolutely haunting, years after I first watched the episode. The impact of this storyline, or Sarah Lynn's significance in Bojack's life shows how amazing the writing is on the show.

Not only is it a beautiful show, but it's also really funny. The jokes and timing are fantastic, and the ability of the show to balance genuine good comedy with some of the most tragic scenes I've seen in my entire life shows the versatility of each and every creative involved.

In terms of the themes of the show, I cant properly express how fantastic they are. It is often talked about how great the representation of mental illness is, but it goes a lot farther than that. Bojack is a bad person. He has ruined lives, both before the show and during. His behaviour is completely terrible. The show doesn't try and tell you he's a good person, deep down, but there are so many moments throughout the show where he is truthful and honest with himself, and you see his goodness shine through. The show itself tells you not to root for Bojack, but rather watch him grow. His journey is a slow, drawn out one. Throughout the series, he slowly progresses from being in denial about the fact that he's messed up, to finally be willing to actually change and take accountability for his actions, though this never ever makes him seem like a good person, but instead you see how bad he can actually be. Bojack Horseman shows the affect mental illness and addiction can have on you and the people you care about.

It also shows lots of different representations of mental illness and life. While Bojack is the main character, he isn't always the most important person in the show. Princess Carolyn, Diane, Mr Peanutbutter, and Todd are all treated in the show with as much respect as Bojack, and their storylines are strong independently of their intersection with Bojack's, which feels very true to real life, where everyone is doing their own thing. The struggles of all the main cast are important, whether mentally, emotionally, professionally, or otherwise. In a lot of ways, these characters demonstrate the realities of just being a person who exists in this world, and that's pretty cool.

In the end though, the show is about growth, plain and simple. It's not overcomplicated, but it shows the complexity of acceptance. The show's main principles are simple; being a good person is harder than it looks, but more important than anything else, and sometimes you need help getting there. The show examines this through so many different lenses, and the intricacies of all the different ways in which Bojack addresses this main issue are endless. Bojack Horseman doesn't over burden itself with too many pointless ideas or threads, but rather it focuses on something important and sees it through.

Like I said, part of me actually believes that Bojack Horseman was a show made for me specifically, because I think it's perfect. I'm incredible excited for the end of it. I generally don't trust creators to give me what I want, but at this point I don't even know what I want. That being said, I'm sure whatever it is will be made, as it always has so far. And I will be heartbroken if it doesn't. That's not the point though. I wholeheartedly believe that Bojack Horseman is a perfect show. It means the world to me.

#bojack horseman #bojack #bojackthoughts

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watchmegetobsessed · 5 years

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Señorita - Shawn Mendes (pt 3)

cant believe we are at part 3 already! i love you all, thank you for the support, it means the world to me!

part 1 - part 2

masterlist

You feel like a total creep as you sit in front of your computer, the screen lighting up your face and it’s the only source of light in the house. Gordon gave up on you long ago, after you fed him he just casually disappeared in your bedroom, leaving you and your craziness alone.

At first you had no clue how to start it, aimlessly typing Connor and some other related stuff into the search bar, but nothing really came up. After an hour of endless failures you find the working path. Diving into public police reports you start reading back about previous fights and scuffles in town, meeting Shawn’s name too many times, but you try to slide over that. One back from last October mentions Brian as Brian C. so you eagerly get into the details. You are close to giving up when you succeed and find the name Connor B. at the end and your investigation takes a turn. In about ten minutes you have the address you believe is Connor’s so you call a taxi not wanting to waste any more time.

The pepper spray lies in your bag and you keep thinking about that to somehow calm your nerves, not that you’d have a chance if there is a whole gang against you. The car drops you off at the front of the street and you start walking down unsurely. The Sun has gone down, only the street lamps are giving you a sight of the houses along the pavement. The neighborhood is definitely not the best, you’d never come near here normally. Your eyes read the numbers on the houses until you find what you were looking for, only it’s ten times scarier than the other houses in the street.

It’s not even a normal house with a backyard, it’s the last one on the street and the yard is huge, the house is standing in the middle, with a bunch of cars parked here and there, some of them are just wrecks with no windows and tires. It’s dark in the front and only one window is lit up in the house, but you see light coming from the back. As you walk closer you hear voices, but you’re still too far to make out anything. Reaching into your bag you grip the pepper spray and hold it to your chest as you approach the house.

As you get closer you can make out more and more from the talking and one thing is for sure, it’s not friendly at all. You immediately freeze when you hear Shawn’s voice, you would recognize it from a million.

“You stand no chance here, Salazar. My boys would never lie to me. So get the fuck out of here before you regret even coming here.”

You’ve never heard him talk like this. Not even when those dudes cornered you that night on your run. He was scary as fuck back then, but this is a whole different level now. A shiver runs down your spine hearing it and you don’t even see his face, but you know it’s not the one you are used to lately.

In the meantime you reach the corner of the house and you tiptoe in the shadow to get a view of what’s really going on.

You see two groups. One is definitely Shawn and his friends, but he is standing at the front, Brian is right behind him with a threatening look. You see a guy in the back who is sitting on the ground, half of his face is covered in blood and you’re pretty sure it came from his nose which looks painfully crooked. If someone broke it that must have been one hell of a punch. Some other dudes are standing around him looking like guards. The other group is slightly smaller which makes you a tiny bit relieved knowing Shawn and his friends outnumber those bastards.

And there he is, Wade Salazar, standing tall right in front of Shawn. He is a few years older and seems bulkier than Shawn, but you’re not sure if he would beat him in a fight. Both his arms are covered in tattoos and his shirt is tight around his body. You suck on your breath when you see a gun peeking out from his pants on his back.

“It’s a warning, Mendes. If you can’t control your boys I’ll teach them the lesson next time,” Wade sneers back, his voice is calm and rigid, no sign of fear, but you wouldn’t be too scared either if you had a gun on you.

Shawn’s face twitches, it’s obvious he wants to punch him, but he holds himself back, taking a deep breath.

“Leave. You are already done with what you came here for,” he hisses, his eyes dark as the night.

“That kid?” Wade asks nodding in the direction of the bleeding guy. “He was just disrespectful with me. I came here as a guest and he didn’t welcome me warmly. What I came here for is to finally beat your ass, since you couldn’t be found in the past weeks too much. Now you are finally here, why would I leave without my satisfaction?” He sounds so full of himself, even you want to punch him. The guy is the definition of a scumbag.

“Don’t be crazy, we are definitely outnumbering you now, you might get a few punches in but you wouldn’t leave without at least a broken leg.”

I see Wade’s jaw clench as he realizes that he is right. So instead he takes a few steps backwards flipping his finger at Shawn.

“Next time, Mendes. Keep a tighter leash on your kiddos,” he growls turning around and starting to walk… right in your direction.

Panic rushes through your body as you start backing, trying to find a hiding spot, but there is none. You are screwed.

Wade appears in front of you, his people following him right behind and it takes a few seconds for him to get used to the shade, but his eyes terrifyingly light up when he makes your figure out while you stand there, your whole body frozen from fear as he looks you up and down so hungrily it’s almost a sexual assault alone.

“Hey there, gorgeous,” he sneers at you, slowly approaching you as you keep backing from him, trying to keep the distance between you and him. “Who are you?”

No word can form in your dried out mouth so you just gasp in terror. The back of your legs hits a car and you need to stop as he is getting closer and closer, like a predator slowly approaching its prey. That’s quite how you feel, like a scared doe, waiting for its death.

Just when he is about to get dangerously close Shawn bolts into your vision, his arms locking around Wade’s figure, dragging him back, his people immediately moving to get Shawn and you shriek in horror seeing four guys jumping at him at the same time. In no time, Shawn’s friends appear and slowly but surely everyone gets fought, pushed back to place, left with deathly stares at each other.

The next thing you know is that Shawn grabs your wrist and pulls you behind him, standing between you and the smirking Wade. You feel a hand on your shoulder, glancing to the side you see that it’s Brian, pulling you even farther from the danger zone.

“Don’t you dare touch her,” Shawn growls at Wade, the veins on his neck are popping out like never before, his fists hanging threateningly by his sides.

“What, little Mendes has a girlfriend? That’s why you disappeared lately? How cute is that!” Wade mocks him as if he was talking about a little child. The guys behind him starts laughing like they just heard the best joke of all times.

Shawn doesn’t move, doesn’t speak. Just stands there, staring at him deadly.

“Watch out, Mendes. It’d be a shame if she found out what it’s like to be with a real man and not with a little boy.”

Wade smirks at you and you quickly move so Shawn’s figure is covering you from his greedy eyes. There’s no reply from Shawn, he just keeps staring intensely at him as he finally turns around and leaves.

Relief washes over you once he disappears from your vision, but when Shawn turns around, eyes burning from anger your stomach drops again.

You are so fucked.

You are early to your shift. It barely happens, you are the kind of person who arrives just on time, but you couldn’t sleep all night, your mind and thoughts going on and on and on relentlessly about one particular person and you start to feel ridiculous.

You are definitely not going to stand in line with all the other women in town who are part of the Shawn Mendes fanclub. There is no way you are that easily manipulated by just one dance and the hottest and steamiest make out session of your life. Your knees go weak even just by thinking about how it felt to be pinned against the wall by him, his tattooed hands roaming your body and the feeling of his touch on your bare skin just throws you off the edge over and over again.

You sit on the bench by the wall, a freshly made coffee in your hands as you stare off into the distance. You definitely don’t have any feelings for Shawn Mendes, everything that happened in that club was just because of the alcohol, he doesn’t even remember your name probably by now, you keep telling yourself as you finish the coffee and head back inside.

Work helps you get him off of your mind, the new and old faces make his face blurry in your memories as you focus on the orders. It’s right until a tall, muscular figure walks in, his leather jacket perfectly hugging his body, making every female take a turn seeing him.

You can’t believe your eyes as you watch him look around, luckily he can’t see you as you are hiding in the kitchen, peeking out, watching him walk to an empty booth and sitting down. You wish Rosie was working today, she would be running off to take his order probably, she was head over heels for him at the club as well. You haven’t even told her what happened between you and Shawn, her mind would have exploded if she knew that you kissed.

Out of all the tables he had to sit at one of yours and you know that Dolly and Monica will not move a finger, they are just not the types to do more than required. If you don’t want Rob up in your ass you have to go and talk to him.

“You got this,” you tell yourself, fixing your hair and straightening out your dress before finally building up the courage to walk out. He is sitting rather comfortable in the booth, one arm stretched out on the back, the other lazily holding the menu as he is reading it, one leg shaking under the table.

His eyes move up to you just when you step to his table, a smug smirk plasters across the lips that were kissing you not so long ago and you have to take a deep breath to get rid of the thought, because it’s making you feel things you definitely should not feel at work.

“Hello, what can I get ya?” you ask with the fakest smile ever.

“Señorita, what a pleasure to see you again,” he coos lazily, his eyes traveling up and down your body in a way that’s making you blush. You don’t answer, just click your pen, holding it to your little notepad, waiting for his order. You are not too big on retorts, so it’s better to keep your mouth shut before you say something stupid.

“I was hoping to find you here,” he continues.

“How did you know I work here?” you ask furrowing your eyebrows. You know for a fact you didn’t tell him you work here.

“I have my sources, don’t worry.”

You can only imagine about that. Licking your lips you decide to get back to his order.

“So, what can I get you?”

“When do you have your break?” he asks, totally ignoring your second attempt to get his order.

“I recommend the waffles, they are awesome,” you say deciding to play his game. If he is going to ignore your question, you’ll just turn it around.

His grin grows wider, amused by your respond and you can tell he probably never experienced anyone ditch his question before.

“We can play like this, Señorita. I can sit here all day and wait until you are off the clock.”

That’s something you definitely don’t want. There is no way you can focus on anything if he is sitting here, watching every step of yours. Letting out a frustrated sigh you look away, checking if anyone is near to hear anything you are talking about. Luckily, no one is close enough.

“Why do you care when I’m having my break?”

“Just want to have a talk. Something we didn’t have too much of the last time we met.”

The cocky grin is grinding your gears knowing well that he is talking about the fact that you were using your mouth for something entirely different at the club. If he keeps making these dirty comments you’ll definitely turn into a tomato in no time.

“I’m off in an hour,” you unwillingly tell him, earning a satisfied smile from him.

“Great. I’ll have those waffles in the meantime.”

Your nerves are wrecking by the time the hour passes. Shawn stays in his booth, following your every move, making sure to catch your eyes every time you dare to glance in his way. He is enjoying making you feel uncomfortable too much and it’s making you want to punch him, but also, you’ve never felt more sexually frustrated in your life. The way he eats waffles could easily be considered as porn, maybe he just did it to torture you, maybe he really is just that sexy. Either way, you had to go back to the kitchen to have a glass of cold water.

Like clockwork, he stands up when the hour is up and walks out without even checking if you are going as well. But of course you do. You find him outside at the bench, leaning against the wall in such an effortlessly attractive way you find it almost offensive. His bike is parked near the back door.

“So… what did you want to talk about?” you ask, crossing your arms on your chest, kind of to create a barrier between you and him.

“Straight to the point, huh?” he smirks at you.

“I have thirty minutes and I don’t want to spend it all on you.” The sass in your voice surprises you, but you don’t regret saying it.

“Alright then,” he nods, his eyes still mesmerizing you. “How about I pick you up after your shift?”

You give him a puzzled look.

“And what? You take me home?”

“To your place, my place, doesn’t matter to me. I just want to continue from where we left off at the club.”

Your mouth almost hangs open at his candid words, not really believing he just came here to ask you to go home with him and spend the night with him. He is one cocky son of a bitch.

“I’m sorry? Are you serious?” you question, but he just keeps smirking at you, so full of himself and sure that you are going to fall into his arms that easily.

“Never been more serious.”

“Okay, listen,” you start with a deep breath. “I’m sorry if you got the idea that this is heading somewhere, but it’s not. You and I are not really the same category.” You hope he doesn’t get offended at your words. “It’s just not gonna work. But… we can be friends if you want.”

The last part makes you feel so dumb, you don’t even know why you said that. Why would Shawn Mendes want to be friends with you? You should have just keept your mouth shut.

An amused smile spreads across his face as he pushes himself off from the wall, walking closer to you until he is standing dangerously close to you. Your heart is pounding in your chest, you fear that he can hear it because it’s so loud in your ears.

“Friends?” he echoes your word, making it sound like it’s a curse word. You just nervously nod your head. He leans down to your ear, his hot breath tickling your skin and you don’t dare to move.

“Baby, friends don’t know the way you taste.”

Your lips part as a shiver runs down your spine, a fire starts between your legs and you just hate how your body is reacting to him.

In the most serenely way he walks over to his bike, swings his leg over, but doesn’t start it just yet, looking back at you while you are standing in the same spot, frozen.

“I’ll be back tomorrow, Señorita. We’ll see how you feel about being friends then.”

The engine rumbles up as he gets a firm hold of the handles and he winks at you before rolling out of the parking lot, disappearing down the road.

The memory is clear in your head about his first visit at the diner as it plays in your mind right before Shawn goes off at you.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?!”

His voice rumbles through the room as he is furiously pacing the floor back and forth while you just sit there, eyes fixed on the floor not daring to speak a word. This scenes gives you the vibes of your teenage years when your mom used to scold you after sneaking out to your friends’ house in the night, giving you a talk how you could have been easily killed out there on your own. You never felt like you were in danger back then, the longest distance you walked was two streets down from your home. However now you can definitely sense the seriousness of the situation this time.

Once Wade and his dudes were done Shawn grabbed your hand and rushed inside with you, all his friends following right behind. No one said anything when he pulled you into one of the rooms and shut the door closed, ready to rip you apart for coming here and getting yourself into this shitstorm.

“What were you thinking? Were you even thinking? Coming here all alone, not even knowing what’s here!” He is speaking so loud you’re pretty sure everyone else can hear him in the house, not that it matters. It was obvious for everyone he was raging when he pulled you into the room.

“How did you even find out the address?” he asks, totally outraged by you. Deep down you are somehow proud you could make The Shawn Mendes lose his shit but you wish it was for other reasons.

“Public police reports are very detailed sometimes,” you mumble under your breath, fingers digging into the cushion as you sit with your legs tightly pressed together.

“I can’t believe you.”

A not too happy chuckle leaves his lips as he finally stops and stares down at you with his hands on his hips. You blink up at him, nervously biting into your bottom lip as you wait for his next round of scolding, but he just stands there in silence.

“Do you know how much danger you were in out there?” he then asks and you’re not sure if you should answer.

“I saw the gun he had,” you say, your voice barely more than just a whisper.

“Do you realize how close I was to jump at his throat when I saw him talking to you? This is not a game, Y/N. If I don’t go to check if he left for real I don’t get there in time and you could have gotten hurt. I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you.”

Though his words are making your heart beat faster, you feel like it’s time to defend yourself.

“Well, you said you’d be at my place when I get home, but you weren’t there. Again. You can’t expect me to just sit at home and wait to see if you ever show up or not.”

You see the guilt flash in his eyes and you regret dragging him for it. Letting out a frustrated sigh he steps closer to you kneeling down in front of you. Gently placing his hands on your knees his face changes from mad to regretful pretty quick, making your stomach churn.

“I know. I’m sorry, I messed up again. But I couldn’t let my friends alone.”

You let out a tired sigh, placing your hands on his as you lace your fingers together with his. The whole thing just crashes down on you now that you are facing him. Thinking about it you really were stupid to come here without knowing anything about what’s happening here. You were never the reckless kind of person, looking for trouble, more like the total opposite, avoiding anything problematic from far away and yet you still came here. It’s official, Shawn Mendes is making you lose your rationality.

“I know and I’m sorry for being so dumb, I just…” The damn tears are dwelling in your eyes again, you feel so small, so fragile suddenly, wanting nothing else than just go home and fall asleep in his arms. “I was just worried.” The words come out as a whisper as you quickly wipe the tears away before they could escape your eyes.

His right hand reaches up to your face cupping your cheek and you lean into his touch, his thumb gently brushing across your cheek.

“I should have texted you. I wanted to go over the moment he was gone, but I got distracted. I’m sorry, baby. I really am.”

His forehead rests against yours, you close your eyes as his fingers move into your hair, gently massaging your scalp.

“I was just… So scared that he would hurt you.”

“But he didn’t. You were there,” you tell him.

Your hands slide to the base of his neck as you can’t stop yourself from kissing him anymore. He returns the kiss just as hungrily as you attack his lips, tongues melting together, fingers pushing into his skin as you hold onto him desperately. He starts moving, he pushes himself up from the ground and you slowly lie back on the couch while he gets on top of you, never breaking the kiss.

Your feelings change so fast, going from scared to ashamed and now terribly lustful, longing to release all the tension that has been building up in you. As you pull your legs up his hips fall into place between your thighs, perfectly fitting there. A moan escapes your lips when you feel how hard he got so fast, but you can’t blame him, you’re burning inside just as much. Grabbing a fistful of his shirt you start pulling it up while he is kissing down on your neck, sometimes softly sucking on your skin.

You grind your hips against his, earning a deep, guttural growl from him when his lips reach your breasts, kissing the skin wherever it’s showing from under your shirt. You both kind of forgot about the fact that you have a bunch of other people outside in the house and you almost scream when there is a knock on the door.

“If you guys are done fucking come out, dinner is ready.”

The female voice makes you freeze, confusing you big time. You didn’t see any women out there, who could she be?

“Thanks, Aaliyah! Nice timing!” Shawn shouts back, clearly frustrated and dissatisfied.

“As always!” the voice chuckles back from the other side of the door.

“Who is she?” you question as he climbs off of you, fixing his shirt while you sit up and run your fingers through your hair, trying to control the mess his fingers just made.

Shawn lets out a sigh as he pecks your lips one more time before standing up and holding out his hand for you, pulling you up.

“That was my sister.”

#shawn #mendes #shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #Señorita #shawn mendes Señorita #shawn mendes fanfics #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fanfictions #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes au #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes x reader #mendes army

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codyssfern · 5 years

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ooh, a request? okay so what about being shawns gf right in the middle of this clownery, like he has no choice but to do the pr stunt with c but then it keeps getting harder on him and after the day on the beach he totally breaks down and tells you he cant do it anymore and you comfort him and just 🥺 the angst 🥺 the fluff 🥺 the feels

decided to combine these two requests and give y’all a sequel. might want to read this one first.. enjoy ;)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ:

“Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello spice things up at Miami Beach!”

your heart sunk as you scrolled through all the pictures and videos of your ex boyfriend with the girl he sworn would never come between you two. it had been almost 4 weeks since you broke up with shawn. 4 weeks long heartbreaking weeks you’ve spent inside your apartment, watching movies, eating like never before, and going to sleep at 3am every night. you had tried your best to avoid any media outlets talking about your ex boyfriend but that’s kind of impossible when he’s one of the most famous people in the world. if it wasn’t your friends sending you articles, it was you turning on the tv and seeing nothing but shawn all over the screen. it was you in line waiting to buy breakfast and suddenly his song started playing. it was you cleaning your closet and stumbling upon one of his shirts. he was everywhere. everywhere but with you.

today it was your first day back at work after kindly asking your boss to give you some time off to sort out some things. when you arrived you were greeted with pity looks and endless hugs. you wanted the earth to swallow you whole but in a way it made you feel like everything you went through was real. andrew had made it his goal to keep your and shawn’s relationship out of the media, even before all of this he was always telling shawn to keep you two on the down low. of course there were always fans who saw more than what andrew wanted them to see, fans who questioned everything, and got suspicious. there was a bit of talk about you after the breakup, like “where is y/n? why isn’t she of any of the tour pictures anymore?” or “why did y/n and shawn unfollow each other?” but the questions remained unanswered.

“shawn just calm down!”

but he couldn’t. he’d been pacing back and forth for the last 10 minutes, everyone in the room swore he had made a dent on the carpeted floor.

“i can’t do this anymore!” the soft cries and cracks in his voice made everyone go silent. “i can’t keep lying to my friends, my family- my fans! my girlfriend. my real girlfriend!”

andrew started motioning for people to leave the room so it could just be him and shawn.”

“shawn to be fair y/n did break up with you..” gerty says as he closes the door.

shawn turns to him, “and would you care to tell me why?! why do you think she broke up with me?”

gerty sighs, “kid you did sign the contract. you can’t keep blaming me or the rest of the team for your actions,” shawn couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of his mouth, “i know it’s been hard-”

“now you know that’s a load of bullshit andrew!” andrew’s eyes widened, he’s never seen shawn so angry, “you told me there was no reason for me to go over the contract because you already had. when i wanted to go over it myself you wouldn’t let me! you kept saying it was fine.”

shawn wanted to hop on a plane, go to y/n, and tell her that she was right all along. that he should’ve kept bugging andrew until he gave in and let him read the contract before signing it. hell that he shouldn’t have agreed to any contract in the first place. not one that he felt would put his career and personal life on the rocks.

“i should’ve listened to y/n and fired your ass a long time ago!”

andrew knew that if any of this got out his ass would be dust. the label itself would fire him. as shawn’s manager he should never let shawn sign any contracts without having shawn go through them first.

“i’m sorry kid but i did what i thought was best for your career. both me and camila’s team thought this would be a good thing-”

“well it wasn’t! it isn’t. its all bullshit and i want out of it.” shawn was desperate. he felt like his world was falling apart day by day and not to mention his anxiety lately was off the roof. “now if you can’t get me out of this mess i’m contacting a lawyer, a lawyer outside of the label and you know what that would mean for you.”

andrew had no other option but to agree.

you weren’t so excited be back home. frankly you were tired of being alone. tired of moping around. you even asked your boss to give you an extra shift to cover for all the ones you missed but she didn’t allow it so you had no choice but to go home. you took a bath, made yourself dinner, and now you were watching tv in the living room with a fuzzy blanket wrapped around your cold body. you had a few glasses of wine with your dinner and you were starting to feel sleepy. alcohol always made you sleepy which was something shawn used to tease you about.

if it hadn’t been for the buzzing coming from the coffee table in front of you, you would’ve passed out cold. when you went to look at who was calling, you could have sworn your heart had stopped.

shawn mendes

you wanted to click the small red button and continue with your night but your fingers didn’t move. it was like you were frozen. you let out a sigh of relief when the call failed through and his name was no longer on your screen... thought that didn’t last as long as you want it because not even a minute after he was calling again.

“fuck it!” you said to yourself before pressing the green button.

all you heard was loud shuffling. like a bunch of people were crowded in one tiny room but in less than a few seconds all you could hear was his voice.

“y/n...”

you stood up and found yourself pacing around your living room, “i hope you’re not drunk right now shawn.”

“i’m not. i’m just on the verge of losing my mind,” he admits, “i’m so sorry. i’m a fucking dumbass and you were right. you were right all along.”

hearing him cry was almost as bad as seeing him cry. he had never cried on the phone with you and it all made you want to hop on a plane and go to him.

“anxiety has been eating me alive since you left. i can’t do what they want me to do anymore- can’t be who they want me to be,” shawn cries, “please just tell me what to do y/n. help me.”

you felt stupid looking around your apartment as if you were going to find an answer that way. you felt as if a ticking bomb was about to go off any second now, you were confused. hurt. worried. but most of all scared.

“shawn i can’t tell you what to do,” you start, “but just breathe okay? do the breathing exercises we used to do before a show,” you remind him, “take a deep breath, cmon.”

“i-i i can’t,” his chest was only getting tighter.

you took a deep breath and told him to do the same. soon enough he started following your actions. this wasn’t the first time shawn had called you while he was having an anxiety attack, there were common with him.

“all better?” you let out a weak smile.

shawn took one more deep breath before finally letting himself feel relaxed or well at least better. he was no way near feeling relaxed.

“yeah. thank you.” he smiles, “y/n i- i fucked up and i let the best thing in my life just walk out right out of it and i just fucking stood there like an idiot!” you chuckle making him let out a breathy laugh, “that night you left is like you took my heart with you or something and i just felt empty.”

you really didn’t know how much of this rambling and confessions you could keep listening to, it already had you tearing you and pouring yourself another glass of wine.

“i just want one more chance. i want to do it right.” he finally finishes.

you groan in frustration, “shawn there’s just- i don’t think we can do that! it’s impossible. the last month of our relationship we spent it arguing it and saying so many horrible things to each other-”

“i know. i know,” he interrupts, “and i want to make it up to you. we should make it up to each other, we deserve one more chance... so just open the door, y/n.”

you were about to say something but then you realized what he said.

“open the door? what door? like a metaphorical one...?” and then there was knocking on your front door.

there is no freaking way. you thought to yourself.

“shawn i swear to god if you’re out there i’m gonna kick your ass.”

he laughs and you start walking towards the door, “i’d like to see you try.”

you unlock the door and it took you a few seconds before actually twisting the knob and opening it. you once again just stood there frozen as the tall boy stood in front of you looking at you as if you were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. and you were.

you chuckle in disbelief, “you fucking idiot.”

“please just.. come here.”

he extends his arms out, inviting you into them and this time you don’t think twice about it. wrapping your arms around his waist and snuggling your head on his chest as he left a kiss on top of your head.

you could get used to this again.

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