#i am the expert on myself. i am the ONLY expert on myself. period. no contest. not a debate.
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it's so funny (read: sad) that if bigoted fuckheads didn't insist i was a woman simply by virtue of my body at birth, i'd probably be chill with she/her pronouns in addition to he/they. if my mom didn't insist i was her daughter, i'd probably let her call me that, and we could still have a relationship.
i'm nonbinary and 'gendered' words are hypothetically meaningless, but because there are so many people who are more interested in telling me who i am rather than lovingly and curiously letting me express my own sense of self, those words carry trauma.
there's no reason a nonbinary person like myself can't be a son and a child and a daughter. there's no reason a nonbinary person like me can't go by he, they, and she.
'she' is not a slur. 'daughter' is not derogatory. 'beautiful' 'pretty' 'gorgeous' 'feminine' are not insults.
to the contrary, they're parts of language that express certain facets of a multi-faceted human existence, like mine.
and i have this sad, mournful feeling that if it weren't for unloving, condescending people, i'd probably be down to be called any of those things alongside my usual masculine/neutral terminology.
but i'd rather die than let anyone tell me what i have to be called.
#i try to reclaim 'feminine' words for myself in private#calling myself 'babygirl' when i need to chill out. or saying i feel pretty. or going 'she needs help' when i'm struggling lmao.#but there's still so much fucking trauma in those words from the people who've forced them on me#who've snarled in my face that GOD made me ONE THING and ONE THING ONLY and that's a WOMAN (stepdad)#who've guilted me for taking their precious perfect daughter away as if i'm fucking dead (mother)#who've mocked me and everyone like me as if we're not the experts on our own sense of self (general transphobic public)#like. i'm not a fucking man. i'm not a fucking woman. i'm nonbinary. gender is absurdity as a concept. i'm done with it.#but being called a man or a son or a guy or 'he' or WHATEVER in that vein is fine and dandy because i've never had anyone say#'that is all you can EVER be'. or worse: 'that is what GOD made you to be and you have a ROLE to fill'#(christianity pls die approximately yesterday thanku 💖)#so yeah. idk. ranting yet again about Cis Audacity.#the complete lack of empathy. the lack of curiosity even.#the condescending bullshit. the 'i understand you better than you do'. the fucking AUDACITY.#i am the expert on myself. i am the ONLY expert on myself. period. no contest. not a debate.#i understand myself better than anyone else is CAPABLE of understanding me.#i could call myself 'she' and understand that i meant it in a nonbinary way.#in fact i could even see myself letting other trans people call me feminine terms at some point in the future. when i've healed more.#but cis people? probably not. they can call me 'he' or 'they' or they can fuck off & never get to know me because they don't wanna know ME#/end rant#any terfs/bigots that try to touch this post will be swiftly blocked and quite possibly cursed. have the day you deserve <3
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To Drown In Your Love
(Simp!)Spencer Reid x BAU!Reader (menstruating reader, female anatomy)
Established Relationship
WC: ~3.4k
Warnings: 18+ MDNI menstruation is discussed, pads are mentioned but you could just adjust the time mention and pretend it says tampons or something else, it’s not that big a deal, female fingering while on period, Spencer being horny but also determined to not succumb to it, both parties achieve orgasm (either simultaneously or female first and male soon thereafter)
Disclaimer: I understand that some times I have put for female orgasm may not be accurate. I am a female...I know. But this is fiction so...it's not gonna be 100% realistic
Note: reader is a child behavior specialist (expert on child witnesses, victims and perpetrators; debriefs children after they’ve experienced a trauma) because I wrote this for myself and that’s how I imagine/write myself in the CM universal
Gif credit: hotch-girl
Gif not necessarily indicative of timeline placement
“JJ…JJ, no…not a case. Not now. Please.” You beg her as she goes towards the conference room as she exists her office.
“Sorry. Duty calls.” She gives you a sympathetic look as she waves the files in her hand.
You groan lightly and lay your head on your desk. Your period was due to start any day now and you hated starting it when you were on a case. If there was one thing your body and you yourself hated, it was a lack of consistency and continuity.
Your body sometimes just said: “girl, tf are you doing on a plane going to North Dakota?”
Like…it’s my job…please…cooperate?
Nope. Guess what? You gotta poop. On the plane. With your coworkers. Or guess what else? Blood. Haha. Who said God didn’t have a sense of humor?
Your boyfriend Spencer, who sometimes was more attuned to your body than you were, knew exactly why you didn’t wish to go on a case right now. He comes over to your desk and places his hands on your shoulders. He leans down to kiss you on the head.
“It’ll be ok.” He says softly, intending to be reassuring. He simply gets a groan in response.
He goes over to his go bag and checks to make sure he has extra pads, water bottles, acetaminophen, and underwear for you. He’s well prepared and stocked as usual.
He comes back over to you. He leans down, wrapping his arms around you. He kisses your temple. “I’ve got pads, underwear, pain killers and water, all for you, ok? Don’t worry, hon.”
You lean back into him, relaxing a bit. “Thank you. You’re the best.”
“Only because you deserve the best.”
The team is called into the conference room.
Another case in California. On the other side of the country. Great. Child victims and witnesses too. My favorite, my area of expertise. Just the right case for my period to start in the middle of.
There was that delightful divine or cosmic sense of humor again. You’d rather just go home and crawl into bed but no…a child needs to be saved and a killer needs to be stopped.
The team is dismissed and Spencer helps you pack your go bag and get it loaded onto the plane.
-
After a long and exhausting day, Spencer and you finally arrived at your hotel. The team parted ways as they went to their rooms. Hotch had taken to pairing Spencer and you up when it was needed. He’s become resigned to the fact that you two worked better at your jobs when you weren’t separated. He also knew he couldn’t keep the two of you from sneaking into another room when you had separate ones so he thought he’d just go ahead and save you the trouble.
As soon as you got into the room, Spencer unloaded your bag as well as his. He produced a pad for you.
“It’s been six hours.” He said simply, referring to when you’d gotten your period earlier in the day and had put a pad on. Sometimes the job got in the way of hygiene. You tried your best but sometimes stuff slips away from you a little. Fortunately, 6 hours wasn’t entirely too horrible.
You took the pad, along with the sleep wear he had additionally produced, and offered a small thanks before slipping into the bathroom to change.
Coming back out, you were feeling better as you had a clean pad and a clean set of clothes (a t-shirt and shorts) on.
Spencer had already changed into an old short sleeve CalTech t-shirt and a pair of long, light weight pj pants (even though you were in California, he didn’t own one pair of shorts, mostly because he was insecure about how scrawny his legs were (ignores that S9 (?) ep I guess)). He looked up from his book when he heard you exit the bathroom.
“Hey. Are you feeling better?” He asked softly, giving you a sympathetic look.
You smile. “Much. Thank you.”
Hotch had put you two in a single bed room because only so much money was allotted for rooms and a single bed room happened to be a little cheaper than another double bed room.
You join him on the bed, snuggling up to him. He puts one arm around your shoulder. You lay your head on his chest. He starts to read out loud softly. You don’t know specifically what he’s reading and it doesn’t matter. You just love to hear his voice.
After a while, he starts to notice you shifting a bit.
“You ok?” He stops reading. He looks down at you.
“Mhm.” You nod. “Yeah. ‘M fine. Keep reading.”
“You sure?” He asks, wondering if you are masking your pain for his benefit. “Are you feeling any cramping?”
You murmur incoherently somewhat.
“Sweetheart? Are you ok?” He slides his hand down to your lower back where he begins to rub softly.
You sigh softly. Spencer chuckles.
“Oh? Is that it? Are you hurting down here?” You could almost picture the sly smirk on his face as you now have your eyes closed as you laid your head against his shoulder.
You nod. “Yeah.”
Without a word, he puts his book down on the nightstand, detaches you from him and turns you to face away from him. His hands find purchase on your lower back, his thumbs digging into your muscles. You groan softly.
“That’s it, love. Just let me take care of you.” He lifts your t-shirt up and pulls your shorts down a bit. His thumbs rub circles over your muscles on your bare skin.
“Does this feel good, hon?” He asks softly.
“Mhm. Yes. Thank you.”
“No need to thank me. It’s my job to take care of my girl.”
You chuckle lightly. “A job you do very well.”
“Well, I try.” You were turned away from him and there was no way you were twisting to face him right now. But you could still almost picture his pink cheeks and shy smile.
“You succeed.” You reassure him softly.
“It’s just…you deserve the world and I…I wanna give it to you, you know?”
“You do, hon, you do. Trust me, ok?”
“Ok.”
His thumbs continue to dig into your lower back. His body presses into yours. “Do you feel better?”
“Mhm.”
As time goes by, you visibly relax. You are reacting to him touching you and he notices he’s reacting to touching you. He tries to focus on you and not himself.
“You know…sometimes I forget just how much our touch affects each other.” He chuckles softly.
“We touch each other quite a lot, even when we aren’t supposed to…how on earth could you forget?”
“I don’t know, to be honest,” he chuckles lightly, “it’s just…every time I touch you…I feel this warmth spread through me.”
“We talking mushy romance like or are we teetering towards lewdness.”
He audibly shudders. “Sweetheart…” he chuckles.
“What? I’m your girlfriend, Spencer. You’ve been massaging a fairly intimate part of me for half an hour now…you’re allowed to be sexually attracted to me.”
“It’s actually only been 23 minutes and 37 seconds.” He said softly.
“You’re deflecting.”
“Sorry…” He murmurs.
“Don’t be. And don’t be ashamed of being attracted to your girlfriend.”
“I just…you drive me crazy, ok? And…sometimes that scares me.”
“I assume you mean in a good way. Why would that scare you?”
“I’ve never…I’ve never felt this way about anyone else before. I don’t wanna screw it up by acting like a horny teenager.”
You chuckled. “I doubt you could screw this up even if you were to do that.”
“R-Really? You mean that?” He asked hopefully.
“Spencer…is there something you want to tell me that you’re not telling me?” You asked curiously.
“Maybe.” He murmurs.
“Can you please tell me? Can we talk about this?”
“You’re gonna hate me.”
“I could never hate you, hon.”
“I love you…so much. I feel…so…deeply for you. It scares me sometimes and I’m afraid it might scare you if I don’t show restraint.”
“I honestly don’t think anything you could do could ever scare me, sweetheart.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Well what is it exactly that you think is gonna scare me?”
“I really like touching you and I feel like I’m being selfish when I’m trying relieve your pain and discomfort but all I can think about is how touching you makes me feel.”
“You think you being horny is going to scare me? You’re a man. You’re my partner. It’s a natural reaction.”
“I know that. But…it just feels wrong that I am sexually attracted to you right now while I’m trying to help you with your period pain.”
“Period sex is a thing, you know. I get horny on my period too. It’s ok.”
“Well yeah but you’re not actually saying you’d wanna have…sex with me while you’re on your period…are you?”
“You’re telling me you don’t know the statistics on how orgasms can reduce cramps?”
“Well I uh y-yes…I do know that but I guess I just didn’t know if you’d be up for that. I guess I just kinda figured you’d be against it.”
“I’ll admit that I’ve never been too keen on the idea but I’d be ok if you maybe wanted to uh…finger me?”
“Really? You’d let me do that?” His face practically lights up.
“Yeah, if you want.” You shrug. You trusted him.
“I’ll get a pillow and a towel.” And just like that he’s off the bed like a rocket.
You chuckled at his enthusiasm as he chucked a small pillow from a chair at you which you caught and went to lay on your back with it under you as he went into the bathroom to get a towel.
He is so excited to get back with the towel and to see you lying on your back with the pillow underneath you and with your legs spread that he almost trips over himself and throws the towel at you as well. He scrambles up onto the bed. He looks at you with heart eyes.
“You’re sure you’re good with this?” He asks with concern in his voice, almost like he’s scared he’s pushing you into this. He places the towel under your butt so it is also under your vagina and legs so if anything gets messy, nothing will get on the white hotel sheets and the poor staff won’t have to get blood stains out of them.
“As long as you are.” You assured him.
“Oh I’m more than sure,” he chuckles, “I just wanted to make sure that you were ok with it.”
"I'm ok with it. I promise. I wouldn't have suggested it if I wasn't ok with it." You reassure him as you place your hand on top of his.
"Then c-can I..." He trails off as he gestures to your underwear.
"Mhm. You can, yes."
He beams as he leans forward and grasps the sides of your underwear and slowly pulls them down (If tampon user or a user of anything that needs to be removed: He carefully removes it and places it on the edge of the towel). He cleans the area with a warm, wet, washcloth that he’d brought from the bathroom.
"That better? You feel cleaner now? More comfortable, hmm?"
You nod. You'd cleaned yourself up in the bathroom when you'd gone in and changed but having him clean the area with the cloth did indeed provide you with some comfort. And you knew he'd only done it for your benefit. When it came to you, his germaphobia kinda checked out a little. He knew you. He trusted you. Sure you were as gross as any other person, but you were his person and that made it ok.
You were shocked the first time he told you he wanted to eat you out about six months into your relationship. You weren’t the one to bring it up, he was. You would’ve thought that he'd find putting his face in your private area to be an absolutely disgusting notion. But there was nothing disgusting about the way that he absolutely went to town on your pussy that first time (unless you’re a pearl clutching Southern old lady or something). Hair or no hair. Bush or trimmed. Shaved or waxed. He literally didn't care. You had just showered earlier that day and had put clean clothes on so he knew you were clean (he helped you out with personal hygiene sometimes, especially when you were struggling). He ate you out until you came twice within about 15 or so minutes. It was the first time he’d ever performed oral on a person with a pussy, too. He’d done his research, though, as he always did. He knew in theory what to do and was a quick learner in practice. Being a behavioral analyst certainly came in handy in the bedroom.
He tentatively reaches out with his hand to touch your clit. You shiver. He spreads your folds to reveal your clit more, his thumb brushing against it.
"You have such a pretty clit, baby." He rubs his thumb back and forth over it.
“Th-thank you.” Even after all this time, his compliments still held the ability to make you blush.
He rubs in rhythmic circles just the way he knows makes you feel good. It takes a few seconds for him to find the right rhythm but he always knows when he's found it by the way your body tenses and the way your breath hitches.
"You're really sensitive on your period, aren't you?" He murmurs
You nod. You whimper softly as he continues to rub your already sensitive button.
"Lots of women are. Your testosterone levels are increased on your period, and your estrogen and progesterone are decreased. The hormone dance that's happening in your body at this time lends itself to an increased libido."
You want to chuckle at his use of the phrase "hormone dance" but you're too focused on his increased pace on your clit. He's rubbing it in just the right way that's making you start to feel gooey inside. Little whines and whimpers begin to escape you.
Spencer cannot bring himself to care that you weren't giving him your undivided attention as he explained why your sex drive was currently increased. He didn't care that you didn't chuckle at his use of the phrase "hormone dance". He only cared about making you produce more of those addicting noises.
He can tell that you're squirming and whimpering more earlier on than you usually do. He loved how sensitive and responsive you were.
"I bet it's not going to be long before you're cumming, hmm?"
"Wh-what's our record again?"
"Ten minutes."
"I'd say...that we're well on our way there...wouldn't you? We can make that.”
"Mhm...I'd say so. Especially if I..." he increases the sped at which the index and middle fingers of his right hand are circling your clit.
You moan softly. “Oh…yeah…”
“Yeah? Does that feel good, sweetheart?”
“Mhm. It does.”
“Maybe I should go a little faster.” he increases his rhythm and is hitting it just right at just the right speed.
You whimper softly. “Fuck.”
“Oh? You like that, hon?” He is grinning now.
“Mhm…I like…a lot.” You nod.
Your breathing quickens. Little whines and whimpers begin to escape you.
“Yeah? You do? How long do you think it’s gonna be before you’re cumming? Five minutes? Eight minutes?”
“Are you…keeping track?” You pant lightly as he is expertly rubbing your clit and it’s got you mewling.
“Always.” He says as he looks at you with a determination in his eyes. You wonder how he can pleasure you and observe you while also calculating the time so precisely but then again, he’s a genius. You’re not so sure that technically explained it but you knew better than to ask or argue with him.
He continues to strategically strum your clit, using his experience with you and his experience with behavioral analysis to determine what you like and dislike and what to do and what not to do to get you there. He leans down to kiss your temple. His lips move to your ear, where he kisses the shell of it.
“Four minutes and 15 seconds and counting.” He whispers, his voice thick with desire.
“I don’t know if…we’re gonna make five minutes.” You chuckle softly.
“I’ll settle for eight.” He chuckles as he dips his fingers down to my entrance to collect some of my arousal before going back to rub my clit.
He’s hitting just the right spot at just the right pace.
“F-fuck never mind.” You say and your voice is higher in pitch.
“Hmm? Yeah? If I keep going like this, are we gonna make that five minute mark after all? You gonna cum in 8 minutes total time for me, honey?”
“Shit y-yeah, I think I am.” You chuckle. “How the hell is that even…possible?”
“You’re stressed…pent up…and aroused. And…you’re with me.” His soft smile turns into a devilish grin. He was allowed to be cocky because God knows this man knew your body inside and out and knew exactly what he was doing.
“That’s…true.” You chuckle softly.
He continued to skillfully work you towards an orgasm. You noticed his hips rutting.
“I can touch you too. You know that, right?”
He shakes his head no. “No. I’m fine. This is about you. Don’t worry about me.”
“I always worry about you. I know you were embarrassed before but…you’re allowed to be turned on and want pleasure. How long have you been aroused? Since you began massaging me? More than half an hour ago?”
He sighs and nods. “Yeah, pretty much.”
“Does it hurt?”
“It’s not exactly comfortable.” He chuckled.
“Let me touch you, please. You’re touching me. It’s only fair.” You look at him pleadingly.
“This wasn’t…about me. This was about you.” He grunts, trying to contain himself and not give in to his own pleasure because he really would like to focus more on you right now.
“And what did I say about you feeling that way?”
He sighs. “That it was ok.” He whispered softly.
“That’s right. There’s no reason that both of us can’t feel good.”
“But I…”
“No buts, honey. You deserve to feel good too.” You reached for his pants but he bats your hand away. You look at him confused.
“I’m sorry. But I’m afraid if you pleasure me, I won’t be able to focus as much as I want to on you. Just…please…let me make you feel good.”
You lock eyes. His warm eyes are darker, his pupils dilated.
“If you’re sure.”
“I’m more than sure, sweetheart. Now let me make you feel good…please.”
It doesn’t take him long before he’s got you feeling close again. He is rutting against the mattress at an increased pace now. He looks determined and focused on making you cum. You’d never know that he himself is nearing his own orgasm.
“You close? Gonna cum for me, honey?”
You whine. “Yeah.”
“Good. Me too.”
You don’t have time to process this before a few rubs over your clit with just the right amount of pressure in just the right way are sending you over the edge, causing you to whimper as you grip the sheets.
“That’s it…that’s my girl.” He softly praises as he helps you through your orgasm. You are too engrossed in your own feelings to notice that he’d been moving in just the right way to get the right amount of friction to make him release as well.
You come down from your high, panting slightly.
“Jesus…thank you. Now…are you sure you don’t want me to…” You trail off as you look at his crotch and notice a wet patch.
“That’s evidently not necessary.” He murmured, chuckling softly.
“Did you…” You ask, slightly amazed by how he’d been able to cum just from what he was doing. You never realized how aroused your own arousal made him.
He nods. “Yes. I did.”
“Oh…ok…” Your cheeks tinge pink as you smile.
“You wanna…take a shower?” He asks, sensing the slight awkwardness around the subject.
“Yeah…that sounds good.” You nod.
He uses the rag from earlier to clean up a bit before helping you off the bed and toward the shower, grabbing clean clothes along the way.
#spencer reid#criminal minds#period#menstruation#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fic#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fic#Spencer Reid fanfic#criminal minds fanfic#simp!spencer Reid#simp!spencer#bau reader#spencer reid smut#criminal minds smut#x reader smut
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Hi, may I ask you a question? I know this is probably kind of an unusual ask so feel free to ignore this! But you seem so nice and kind so I thought I might ask you about this...
So lately I keep thinking a lot about gender things. Oh and I am a girl (maybe (as in afab)) and until recently I was convinced that I am very comfortable in my gender. And the thing is, I did think about it. I knew about my sexuality since I was a teenager and I remember thinking about my gender on many occasions and always feeling so sure about it and so comfortable in my body. But also... I've always been kinda scrawny (my friends keep joking that oversized clothes make me look like a 14 year old boy) and then someone told me people go through second puberty and I might get bigger hips in the next years and I would hate that. And then I wondered why, is it just the change or would I genuinely be uncomfortable in a more feminine body?
And now I'm wondering, because why would that come up now?? I mean I am in my early twenties now and I've known about my sexuality for years. But I've also kind of ignored that after realizing it for a while whoops. So it might be happening again. Or maybe it's really just a bit of gender envy and not all that serious?
I think I'm just trying to ask you if you think it's possible that I realize some things late? I'm just so unsure lately and I feel like I can't really ask anyone about this...
So yeah, apologies for sending you that paragraph and I hope you have a nice day!!
Alright so first of I want to say that I am in no means an expert at this. I’m not a therapist and I can’t tell you what you are or what you aren’t feeling. But I can speak from my own experience that things like this are by no means tied to a specific period of time in your life. There’s people that are well into their adult years (and i’m talking 60-70) that are still discovering things about themselves
I’ve spend a long time around people who were telling me what I can and cannot be or what i should be. I was "comfortable" in my gender because I was thought that I should be. And until I actually started talking to people who were going through similar things, I didn’t quite understand that it was not the norm feeling this way about yourself.
Again speaking from my own experience because never let anyone tell you what’s right or wrong for you. There is certain things about being afab i embrace and appreciate even. Things i would miss was i born differently. I love having a softer voice, and more feminine features because those are things that make me me.
But then I have cis girl friends who tell me "oh I wish I had your chest" or "you should be grateful you don’t have as little as me" and I just rather die that having this part of my body be perceived at all. I have my top surgery very soon which i’m extremely excited for but why do I have to defend myself for wanting something that’ll make me happier just because people don’t understand the feeling.
Sorry this has become quite personal and rambly somehow but apparently i have many feelings about this and if they can help anyone in any way then that would he the best outcome. I guess what i’m trying to say is try to let go of whatever you think other people want you to be and be kind and gentle with yourself. You don’t HAVE to be anything the only thing you should be is comfortable in your own skin
#i hope this made sense at all#i’m not too good at words especially in english#mail box#again in no way shape or form am i in a position to actually give advise#so take this with a grain of salt
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So I’ve watched the whole 7 episodes of Mary & George -- no spoilers.
Quick word about it as I’m not sure how much I’ll go into more details later (that wasn’t so quick after all (who’s surprised? no one)). Obviously everything is my own personal opinion as a random nobody audience member.
Performances were all great. Directing was good enough but mostly forgettable, I guess. I can only think of one scene that could stick to my mind directing-wise and it’s the one between James and George with the checked pattern floor. This one was really good.
Pushing the dark sexy sex idea was definitely a marketing strategy that has very little do to with the whole show once you’ve done with the first (three?) episodes. I don’t really mind if there were a lot of sex scenes or not (I’m fine with either) but I always think that it’s quite tricky when the product you sell doesn’t really match the product the consumer gets.
Writing was the biggest issue for me. To be generous, let’s say there were half of the show that I enjoyed writing-wise and half that I didn’t. It was really slow to start for a only 7 episodes series and the last 1.5 / 2 episodes were… let’s say disappointing for me. (Again, regarding of the writing).
I am very aware that this is a fiction and the main purpose is entertainment and to be fitted for television and not actual accuracy but. I feel like the actual historic facts are way more interesting that whatever they wrote to fill the blanks. I don’t know what the Woolley’s book is saying exactly, as I’ve only read a few pages of it so far (but might read the whole thing to see by myself) and I’m obviously not a an expert (yet) of Villiers as I’ve only read one (French) biography of him (I have a second one I might read as well, just to check sources and informations) but there are many important points in the show that look like absolute non-senses regarding not only George as a historical figure but James as well. Again, I understand the need to bend things here and there to make a good television product but to see things that are opposite to what actually happened and who these people really were is a bit off-putting, I guess. Especially when, like I say, reality were so rich and interesting without having much to change about it.
The main asset of the show was definitely the cast and if they manage to made you a bit interested by this period of time, I can only encourage you to look for a biography or two and read them. There is so much more (in good and bad ways) about all of these people, what they were, what they were to each other and what they did than what they showed on screen.
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There had been a number of questionable takes recently regarding the Frev in the past few days that came in succession . Do you reckon if works in the past decades or so that were published in France and were made available to English readers would it may have at least mitigated such thing to ever happen or is the black legend so ingrained that even with the idea of an era where works by Belissa et Al were in circulation in English to people outside France, the result would be the same?
Before I reply, I need to make a disclaimer that I am not the best person to answer this question. I arrive from a very different educational tradition (neither Anglo nor French), and I actually discovered embarrassingly late about the whole black legend and the fact that, among some, the French Revolution was considered a horrible event (that failed). I was taught it was an event that changed the world forever (and helped shape the world today, mostly in a positive sense) and that it has to be studied to understand our world. So I am not the best person to judge the effect of the black legend vs new historiography. If others have more informed takes, please tell us; I am super interested.
Now, the bad (as in, incorrect) takes we get here. They happen periodically, and they tend to be very similar, often by people claiming (and I have no reason to doubt them) that they are taking history courses on frev, typically in the USA. So these takes tell me about the state of teaching frev in the USA (Anglo?) sphere. Which is not necessarily the same as "what experts publish in academic articles", because - not sure if people are aware of it, so I need to emphasize - you do not have to be an expert on a topic to teach it at the university level. You typically need a PhD in the discipline, but not necessarily on the topic of the course you teach. I can imagine that they won't give a frev course to someone with a PhD in, say, antiquity, but "early modern period" is good enough, even if you are not an expert on France or the revolution.
Sorry for this preamble; I swear it is related to your question. What I mean is that these specific takes we saw here seem to me (though I could be wrong) not necessarily a product of current English-language academia on frev, but what students are taught. So yes, it is a good question on what kind of books students are given on the mandatory readings list, and if those teaching are even aware of the most current English-language books on the topic (let alone French).
I swear most of this stuff is so dated and proven to be incorrect over and over again. We had someone a few months ago saying they read Carlyle for their frev class. ?? This is really strange to me, especially in the North American academia, where even books that are considered new-ish elsewhere, are seen as old, so why teach something published in early 19c? Unless you want to demonstrate changed attitudes about frev and discuss historiography, propaganda, etc. which doesn't seem to be the case. Those assigning such readings are teaching what they feel is true. So I can only guess that they never bothered to read newer stuff.
Look. I am all for authors not liking the French Revolution or specific things in it (I am critical of many frev stuff myself), but you have to use current sources that go through earlier misconceptions. We can't still be stuck at "dictator Robespierre who ruled France", a thing that was disproven so long ago and no credible historian believes in (even if they hate Robespierre).
Now, this is about teaching history at the university level and not about experts in academia, because I do think most incorrect takes we get here on tumblr are from students. Experts sticking to the black legend and "horrible horror of the revolution that failed anyway and didn't achieve anything" are a different group. Though I am not an expert on the current historiography to judge it in detail. So, if someone reading this knows more and can explain, please share!
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Alastor's Accents & Linguistic Analysis
I love linguistics and I ended up getting really fixated on Alastor's accent so here's an analysis I cooked up
In the series, Alastor speaks with a Mid-Atlantic accent, also known as a transatlantic accent. It is a blend of English that seeks to blend American and British (specifically Received Pronunciation) accents. This accent was mainly used by two groups of people. 1) the wealthy, upper-class, who often learned to use it in private preparatory schools. And 2) entertainers.
(It was also commonly used to teach non-native English speakers)
This accent was very commonly used in the entertainment industry in films, theater productions, and radio broadcasts, which explains why Alastor would use it.
(It's not that important, but while listening to the character, I noticed that the pilot va and the series va have slight variations of the accent. Particularly, pilot Alastor avoids the rhotic r sound almost completely, while series Alastor only occasionally cuts the rhotic r, so you hear them a lot more.
If you want to hear it, listen to the words than end in -r. Can you actually hear the r sound or is it a vowel that implies an r?)
The thing about a Mid-Atlantic accent though, is that it is a learned accent that speakers need to be trained in. No one used it natively except maybe those raised in the wealthy elite.
(I have a slight fascination with accent training bc I'm from an area that has an accent that people train to use. Newscasters used to be sent here in order to learn the accent)
So Alastor would not have grown up using that accent, but rather had to learn it for his job as a radio host. He may have taken to using it in everyday life as an adult, but we can't be sure.
So what is his natural accent? We can't be 100% certain, but we can take a guess, so lets' look at the facts we have about his life.
We know he was born and raised in New Orleans and he's 'mixed race Creole' which narrows it down quite a bit. Now, New Orleans is actually quite linguistically diverse, but to untrained ears (myself) they sound very similar. Here's a video about a few of the accents:
youtube
So there it is, that is possibly the accent Alastor would naturally have. Of course, there are a few other factors to consider, such as the time period, but I'm not sifting through research papers to figure out if there were any distinct differences.
As I leave us here, let me say that I am in no means an expert in anything I talk about here, I am merely someone who really enjoys languages and linguistics and all notes here are from an amateurs observations.
#the idea of Alastor being mistaken for a New Yorker is what inspired this btw#hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#alastor#accents#linguistics#if you'd like to hear more about my research or maybe talk about another character I am open to talk about this more#I did so much research into mid-atlantic accents for this#overall Alastor is pretty good at it but he has several little errors#particularly in how he pronounces his vowels#my TEFL certification course notes haunted me about his exact pronunciations#I could literally make a whole check list and go over it#Youtube
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I graduated a year ago and had a job for the 2 months and they laid me off without reason or anything because i was still in the 3 month trial period. Anyway I noticed that they didn’t let the engineers and architects reach the year, you know avoid seniority and stuff. And that was in April, it’s gonna be a year and I still haven’t got another job, I’ve done some freelance jobs here and there, but the last one was for December. I know January it’s kind of a dead month but I’m dying with it, honestly I don’t think I’ll reach the minimum payment of my credit and my car needs gas(at least it’s payed off) and I’m honestly so goddamned depressed. Somewhere I read that a lot of vacancies come out in January but I haven’t seen that many and the ones I’ve seen and sent haven’t even contacted me
Im sorry to bring all this glum to you, but I’ve seen some other recent graduate anons come at you, and you’re so understanding and aware of this economy and job market 🥹
Alas, as ever, I wish that I could make it better and tell you exactly what to do to fix it, but I cannot. However as always, I am absolutely offering you a cup of your preferred beverage, a baked goodie, and a chance to sit at my Internet Grandmother Kitchen and get some things off your chest, so yes. It does suck a lot out there and while it sounds cliché, you gotta do your best, keep trying, and see what comes along.
Hopefully you have other resources or support systems, but if you are in the US and need assistance in basic stuff like paying bills and getting gas, please think about looking into the federally funded 211 service:
Not enough people know about this, and it's way better than hoping that people on the Internet can help you out with bills every time you hit a crunch (although if you do have generous friends, I myself have been saved by them a time or two -- absolutely no shame or judgment here!) But they literally exist to help people find funds and resources for situations like this, and even if you're not in the US, I advise looking for similar government initiatives or programs. They might or might not exist (alas, I am American so I only know our version) but there should be at least something like this. Try searching "211 service equivalent for [country]" or similar keywords?
And of course, if you are reading this and ARE in the US: look into 211! Please don't drive yourself crazy with fear or stress! There are definitely stopgap services and funds that exist for just this sort of thing! Please do use them. I am sending hugs.
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Thank you for pointing us towards the Moon Knight vs Shroud issue in your tags. Much appreciated! I'd be curious if you have any other information on the Shroud and any other times he and Moon Knight have crossed paths. Besides his appearance in the Avengers Unlimited arc, I am not terribly familiar with the character. Thank you again for all you do - I look forward to your commentary on the new release every month.
Hello!!! Thank you for submitting an ask as it’s always great to hear from you! :D Unfortunately, I wouldn’t consider myself a Shroud expert (although I would be fascinated to meet anyone who does???), with most of my experience with the Shroud coming from brief encounters with other characters while reading through their comics.
What I do know is Maximillian Coleridge has a rather Batman-like origin (common criminals gunned his rich parents down in front of him and he consequently dedicated his life to fighting crime), but instead of learning from the League of Assassins, Max threw in with the Cult of Kali. The graduation for that group however involves getting a forehead mark that grants extrasensory perception at the expense of one’s eyesight. The cult booted Max out after that and he seems to have spent most of his career since on the darker side of gray, with one of his first plans to make a name for himself as a hero, for example, being to just straight up assassinate Doctor Doom (oh and he also has his own means of shadow travel, make of that what you will). One reoccurring theme for him seems to be getting involved with criminal or villainous organizations to subtlety manipulate them into doing good. That brings us to how him and Marc meet, by the way! In Solo Avengers (Vol. 1/1987), #3, Max is leading a villain group called the Night Shift and sets up a test of combat to show that Marc should be the group’s leader (although he fails to tell Marc this until only after Marc has thoroughly trounced him and nearly smothered Max with his own shroud).
Looks like Marc called in what he owed as Max then helped Moon Knight wrangle Taurus for the West Coast Avengers in West Coast Avengers (Vol. 2/1985), #29.
Since then, they haven’t interacted much! They were in the same Heroes for Hire network in Heroes for Hire (Vol. 3/2010), but I haven’t found any instances of them interacting on-panel there. Also, as you mentioned, they had a brief team-up in the Avengers Unlimited infinity comic (issues #33-36 specifically for anyone curious), but while friendly, it was a pretty utilitarian team-up that focused mainly on Jessica Drew and Moon Knight and the Shroud only had the most surface-level interaction.
But I guess that first meeting really had an impact on Max (I mean, me too, but wow)! Again, I’m no character expert, but it seems that Max tends to cycle through periods of great violence and/or mental/emotional volatility (his wiki page straight up calls him a sociopath which….hmmmm….), so while I have very little faith that that was handled with any care in past comics, I look forward to seeing what Mr. MacKay might do with his character.
Fun fact: Max was however in the Bar With No Name when Mr. Knight strode right in and made one of my favorite proclamations of all time in Moon Knight (Vol. 9/2021), #7.
#Knight Mail#Thanks again for sending in an ask#always a pleasure to see you pop up in my notifications and it makes me unspeakably happy that you enjoy this blog!!!#quick aside: I so wish April Fool’s had come a day later because then I would have had the chance to do the funniest thing#i.e. pretend that I was abandoning Moon Knight comics to instead focus solely on The Shroud
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I really wish we could talk about Jeyne bullying Arya without people going completely feral, because as someone who was bullied (tragicomically involving the nickname "horseface" and even neighing when I walked by), and who can't even watch high school comedies like mean girls without wanting to die, I feel like it's so reductive to deny any possibility of conflict between the Arya-Jeyne-Sansa dynamic that is more than "mean girls vs pretty-but-doesn't-know-it-yet-girl situation" or "violent paranoid schizophrenic with a persecution complex feels victimised by girls who actually do their schoolwork" while still acknowledging Jeyne as a bully and Arya as a victim.
Jeyne is such a weird character to me, because I never feel this attached to the archetype she embodies.
And still, her dynamic with the two Stark sisters is interesting and the confusion in fandom is COMPLETELY fascinating and borderline triggering to witness, because it reminds me a lot to how a class of high schoolers reacts to *gasps, looks around to see no one is listening and whispers* bullying *lightning and thunder strike on the background to signify the gravity of such a word*.
Person A: What? What are you talking about?! She is exaggerating everything! Sansa never called her that! It was only Jeyne and I bet she only did it once!
Person B: Oh, no it was just Jeyne who did it. Sansa told her to stop, but she just kept at it because she is less educated.
Person C: No, Jeyne was actually just doing it to impress Sansa. Sansa is the real villain here.
DontbotherwiththepronunciationIn2013: I don't think "bullying" is the right term. It's not that bad, Arya should get over it. It was just hurtful teasing.
Now I realise that "hurtful teasing" is in fact bullying.
So, if going by canon:
I think Jeyne came up with the name "Horseface".
I think Jeyne used to neigh at Arya when she was passing.
I think Sansa probably used that name at some point in her life or maybe multiple times.
I think that silence bestows. I think inaction can be encouraging more action. I think passiveness can be as harming as aggressiveness.
I do NOT however think that neither Jeyne nor Sansa are inherently despicable evil people for bullying Arya. I think they are still children. I think, like in most situations involving bullying and children, it's the adults who are at fault for not putting a stop to it, and sometimes even encouraging it.
Before starting to rant, I want to say:
I don't consider myself an expert on any of these characters!!!!!
So if I'm saying something disproportionately wrong in the following, I am open to being corrected.
With that said, I think this is a network of issues, most of them involving socioeconomic classes and period-compliant misogyny. I think it might look like this:
I know that focussing on this is a little pointless because the three main actors involved in this have been violently removed from the situation, (and most of the remaining cast is dead) but at the same time their possible future reunion will be even more violent and they probably won't even have time to cope.
And I can't sleep and I feel horrible and I already drew that dumb mind-map on my phone.
So, I'm starting with the least tangled component in this thing.
Ⅰ. The passive perpetrator, Blind Beth Cassel
To her sister and sister's friends and all the rest, she had just been Arya Horseface. - The Blind Girl, ADWD
I have loved the "Blind Beth" concept since I first read it.
It's so interesting to me how the most Beth interested part of fandom is the Theon corner, yet in the entire Arya-Sansa narrative she barely appears and rarely in meta. The closest I've come to find analysis on Beth & Sansa was in this gorgeous collage highlighting them as victims of violence from different sources in ACOK, but asides from that, there isn't much there. And at least with Sansa I can understand it. Sansa doesn't think of Beth once in the entire books. Arya on the other hand names one of her many identities after Beth and I think the characteristic chosen to describe that persona was a very smart and painful reminder from GRRM.
Arya thinks of Beth Cassel in two occasions. Once in AGOT, when we first meet them,
She studied her own work again, looking for some way to salvage it, then sighed and put down the needle. She looked glumly at her sister. Sansa was chatting away happily as she worked. Beth Cassel, Ser Rodrik's little girl, was sitting by her feet, listening to every word she said, and Jeyne Poole was leaning over to whisper something in her ear.
"What are you talking about?" Arya asked suddenly.
Jeyne gave her a startled look, then giggled. Sansa looked abashed. Beth blushed. No one answered.
"Tell me," Arya said.
"Joffrey likes your sister," Jeyne whispered, proud as if she had something to do with it. She was the daughter of Winterfell's steward and Sansa's dearest friend. "He told her she was very beautiful."
"He's going to marry her," little Beth said dreamily, hugging herself. "Then Sansa will be queen of all the realm."
Sansa had the grace to blush. She blushed prettily. She did everything prettily, Arya thought with dull resentment. "Beth, you shouldn't make up stories," Sansa corrected the younger girl, gently stroking her hair to take the harshness out of her words. - Arya I, AGOT
AND once in Braavos, when she is thinking of her life a Winterfell,
"Beth." She had known a Beth once, back at Winterfell when she was Arya Stark. Maybe that was why she'd picked the name. Or maybe it was just because it went so well with blind. - The Blind Girl, ADWD
Our first assumption as readers to the name "Beth" going so well with "blind" is because it is an alliteration. Who doesn't love alliterations? Tell me you don't love Sir Gawain and the Green Knight with all it's stylistic devices! They are lovely. And perhaps "Blind Beth" is only one of GRRM's alliterations acknowledged by a character.
Or perhaps "Blind" and "Beth" also go so well with each other, because apparently, and basing this from Arya's POV (the only one involving Sansa, Jeyne & Beth all together), Beth is a passive perpetrator. The typical class mate who pretends not to see the bullying and the way it affects the victim. The one who is decent or even kind when alone, but alienating when they are accompanied by a group.
I have seen certain takes claiming that Arya's POV in AGOT isn't a reliable source when involving the dynamic between her and the other girls in Winterfell.
That is possible, but she is our only source. As said, Sansa doesn't ever think of Beth, so if I want to examine her it has to be through Arya's eyes.
I would like to take the scene in AGOT once again and look at it more closely this time.
She studied her own work again, looking for some way to salvage it, then sighed and put down the needle. She looked glumly at her sister. Sansa was chatting away happily as she worked. Beth Cassel, Ser Rodrik's little girl, was sitting by her feet, listening to every word she said, and Jeyne Poole was leaning over to whisper something in her ear.
The object composition is so carefully placed that I find it difficult to believe it is not supposed to have a meaning. Jeyne whispers into Sansa's ear, an image I often associate with a political advisor plotting or scheming with the ruler they serve (which she will remind me of again in future AGOT chapters). Beth has a lower position in the hierarchy She is sitting at Sansa's feet, completely enthralled to whatever it is Sansa says. She probably seeks her approval.
(There is this very sweet art depicting the image of Sansa, Beth and Jeyne and even if I kind of feel guilty for reading the scene as them alienating another girl and still enjoying the art, I still want to share it because it's very cute.)
"What are you talking about?" Arya asked suddenly.
Jeyne gave her a startled look, then giggled. Sansa looked abashed. Beth blushed. No one answered.
Jeyne's reaction is alienating. She giggles and denies Arya the knowledge behind that sudden laughter. It always reminded me a little of how Theon's smiles are often described contemptuously, probably because people tend to think he is actually laughing/smiling at them. They think he is mocking them. I don't think this is something completely involuntarily. I think Jeyne knows that giggling when Arya is asking to be integrated to the group is painful to her. Sansa is described to look "abashed" which I take as uncomfortable. I thinks she is aware this is mean spirited. She still doesn't do anything, but she is at least "abashed". Beth seems to follow this reaction but her description is only physical, not necessarily tied to an explicit emotion. Still, they collectively refuse to include Arya into the conversation.
"Tell me," Arya said.
"Joffrey likes your sister," Jeyne whispered, proud as if she had something to do with it. She was the daughter of Winterfell's steward and Sansa's dearest friend. "He told her she was very beautiful."
"He's going to marry her," little Beth said dreamily, hugging herself. "Then Sansa will be queen of all the realm."
Arya has to insist to be accepted as part of the group. It is not Sansa who acts as the typical "Queen Bee" and grants her that privilege, but Jeyne. Jeyne is the one who speaks in a slightly haughty manner. Only after getting Jeyne's implicit permission does Beth make a comment. She is not described with any type of rancour by Arya.
Sansa had the grace to blush. She blushed prettily. She did everything prettily, Arya thought with dull resentment. "Beth, you shouldn't make up stories," Sansa corrected the younger girl, gently stroking her hair to take the harshness out of her words.
This is an interesting passage to me, but not because of Beth as a passive perpetrator, but because this is the first time I can think of where we are confronted with another monster that will play a role in here, the green-eyed beast;
Ⅱ. Envy
Not it's more mild mannered cousin jealousy that gets spoken of more in fandom, but envy!
Jealousy is usually seen as a less malevolent feeling, but the term is often used when actually referring to envy, so I will clarify that jealousy could be defined as a feeling of defensiveness and protectiveness over what you think to be yours and feel threatened or fearful of possibly losing it.
Envy is not protective or defensive, its offensive. It is a feeling of resentment over what another person or group has - be it a a material possession, a skill, or an emotional bond - and you feel you lack.
And oh boy, there is a lot of envy oozing from that medieval class room, some it more legitimate than other, but all felt.
Before continuing I want to clarify that Arya’s very real pain and low self-esteem, and the cruel ways in which Sansa sometimes treats her during AGOT shouldn't be dismissed as "deserved" or "exaggerated" because of her envy.
Ⅱ. Ⅰ. ARYA'S ENVY
Probably the easiest to locate.
In the formerly mentioned passage we see Arya being envious of Sansa. I would argue it's not up to interpretation since "with dull resentment" makes it very clear to me, but there is also tenderness. I don't think Arya hates Sansa, or at least not in that moment.
Something curious about envy is that it's not an entertaining sin. It's damaging not only to those you envy, but perhaps mostly to yourself. It is self-poisoning. And I think that during that scene Arya, isn't manifesting her envy. She very rarely verbalises it, instead she swallows her own anger and keeps it inside her. I couldn't find any passages where envy is the driving force on the few occasions Arya hurts Sansa. The closest I came to that is:
Arya wanted to scream. It was just like Sansa to go and attract the septa's attention. "Here," she said, surrendering up her work. - Arya I, AGOT
But even then, her envy only hurts herself.
Arya longs to be like Sansa. She wants to be considered as pretty as Sansa, she wants to be as skilled as her sister and to feel accepted by the other girls in the group.
It wasn't fair. Sansa had everything. Sansa was two years older; maybe by the time Arya had been born, there had been nothing left. Often it felt that way. Sansa could sew and dance and sing. She wrote poetry. She knew how to dress. She played the high harp and the bells. Worse, she was beautiful. Sansa had gotten their mother's fine high cheekbones and the thick auburn hair of the Tullys. Arya took after their lord father. Her hair was a lusterless brown, and her face was long and solemn. Jeyne used to call her Arya Horseface, and neigh whenever she came near. It hurt that the one thing Arya could do better than her sister was ride a horse. Well, that and manage a household. Sansa had never had much of a head for figures. If she did marry Prince Joff, Arya hoped for his sake that he had a good steward. - Arya I, AGOT
I find it curious how Arya starts off listing skills, yet the thing that pains her the most is related to her appearance.
What starts as painful envy becomes a self deprecating chuckle and later maybe even a half-optimistic outlook on her own strength. Arya recognises that she is not worthless or fully inferior to her sister. She is able to find qualities in herself and they way she does is endearing. She internally even makes fun of Sansa for not being as good as she is in this one little thing.
Sadly she is still aware of how in the eyes of most, Sansa is the one deemed worthy of admiration and emulation, while the best Arya can get is pity.
The septa examined the fabric. "Arya, Arya, Arya," she said. "This will not do. This will not do at all."
Everyone was looking at her. It was too much. Sansa was too well bred to smile at her sister's disgrace, but Jeyne was smirking on her behalf. Even Princess Myrcella looked sorry for her. Arya felt tears filling her eyes. She pushed herself out of her chair and bolted for the door. - Arya I, AGOT
And Arya's envy doesn't come from simply being Arya, it comes from Arya not being seen as a valuable person by Westerosi society and, in my opinion, most importantly, by her mother.
I refer to the parent-child relationships on the whiteboard as "perceived", not because I deem them false or delusional, but because I've seen a lot of debate going around this topic and whether the favouritism is true or not and I don't know what to believe and honestly I don't care too much about it.
At this part of the conflict we don't really need to know if the Ned-Arya and Cat-Sansa favouritism is true or not. We just need to know that both girls feel some insecurity over their bond with their parents and feel envy.
Personally, I think both Stark parents love all their children deeply, it's just that love sometimes isn't perceived the way we want it to.
Both of her parents had conventional expectations for Arya, but it seems to me that Catelyn was the one who upheld these expectations while Ned acted more permissive. Eddard still intends for her to lead a life that is typical to that of a Lady,
"[...] And it is past time that Arya learned the ways of a southron court. In a few years she will be of an age to marry too." - Catelyn II, AGOT
But it's not Eddard who Arya is terrified of:
It was worse than Jon had thought. It wasn't Septa Mordane waiting in her room. It was Septa Mordane and her mother. - Arya I, AGOT
And it's not Eddard whom Arya often fears being rejected by or disappointing.
Her father tells Arya she remembers him of Lyanna, a woman who is not only remembered as beautiful but also as loved and desired, and also shared some of her interests, such as swordsmanship.
Her mother though..
"Sansa's work is as pretty as she is," Septa Mordane told their lady mother once. "She has such fine, delicate hands." When Lady Catelyn had asked about Arya, the septa had sniffed. "Arya has the hands of a blacksmith." - Arya I, AGOT
Sansa would shine in the south, Catelyn thought to herself, and the gods knew that Arya needed refinement. - Catelyn II, AGOT
“…my hair’s messy and my nails are dirty and my feet are all hard.” Robb wouldn’t care about that, probably, but her mother would. Lady Catelyn always wanted her to be like Sansa, to sing and dance and sew and mind her courtesies. Just thinking of it made Arya try to comb her hair with her fingers, but it was all tangles and mats, and all she did was tear some out.“ - Arya VII, ASOS
Her mother used to say she could be pretty if she would just wash and brush her hair and take more care with her dress, the way her sister did. - The Blind girl, ADWD
And a recurring pattern in those lines is a comparison to Sansa, the sister who is not constantly failing at fulfilling society's expectations on her. The sister who she wishes she could emulate while also staying true to the person she is. The sister who seems to act as a passive perpetrator of Jeyne's bullying and sometimes acts cruel herself.
Ⅱ. Ⅱ. SANSA'S ENVY AND EMBARASSEMENT
When I first read AGOT, I didn't like any of the Stark sisters. I actually think the only Stark I liked back then was Bran. I was about as old as they were, had my own issues with internalised misogyny and thought both of them were a little annoying. My views on both of them during AGOT have changed A LOT in the past ten years and while I like who they become as the books move n, much more than I like who they were at the beginning, I've become very fond of their AGOT selves. And I think they are children! Children make mistakes! Children are shallow and impulsive and hedonistic.
So, I don't think Arya is the only person here who has a few negatives feelings about her sister.
More than envy I think Sansa feels second-hand embarrassment by Arya's behaviour and wishes she wouldn't be associated with her, and this is something Arya is aware of.
She was barefoot and dirty, her hair tangled from the long run through the castle, clad in a jerkin ripped by cat claws and brown roughspun pants hacked off above her scabby knees. You don't wear skirts and silks when you're catching cats. Quickly she lowered her head and dropped to one knee. Maybe they wouldn't recognize her. If they did, she would never hear the end of it. Septa Mordane would be mortified, and Sansa would never speak to her again from the shame. - Arya III, AGOT
Arya looked down at her ragged clothes and bare feet, all cracked and callused. She saw the dirt under her nails, the scabs on her elbows, the scratches on her hands. Septa Mordane wouldn't even know me, I bet. Sansa might, but she'd pretend not to. - Arya V, ACOK
And we also see Sansa wanting to deny association between her and her sister multiple times during AGOT:
Why couldn't Arya be sweet and delicate and kind, like Princess Myrcella? She would have liked a sister like that. - Sansa I, AGOT
"Send Arya away, she started it, Father, I swear it. I'll be good, you'll see, just let me stay and I promise to be as fine and noble and courteous as the queen." - Sansa III, AGOT
"[...]I have only to remember how your sister set her wolf on my son."
"I'm not like Arya," Sansa blurted. "She has the traitor's blood, not me. I'm good, ask Septa Mordane, she'll tell you, I only want to be Joffrey's loyal and loving wife." - Sansa IV, AGOT
Envy is something less present in Sansa's case, but I dare to think there is still a little of it lingering in her feelings. As if we had a cross involving affections and what is perceived by each Stark sister as a special relationship or favouritism between their fraternal foe and a respective parent.
One day she came back grinning her horsey grin, her hair all tangled and her clothes covered in mud, clutching a raggedy bunch of purple and green flowers for Father. - Sansa II, AGOT
There is envy perhaps not of the relationship itself, but of the liberation that comes with it, but I don't even think this is actually Eddard's fault, I think this has more to do with the overall social conditioning of girlhood in Westeros and with another adult.
Ⅱ. Ⅲ. SEPTA MORDANE AND THE SOCIAL CONDITIONING
Septa Mordane sees Sansa as an exemplary student and she has reasons to do so. Sansa is a good and well mannered girls who fits into the model Septa Mordane is trying to shape the girls into. She performs her assigned gender roles with grace and is willingly doing so. Sansa enjoys being a Lady, it makes her feel worthy and it allows her to daydream and enjoy romantic hobbies like poetry or singing.
Arya doesn't. Partially because she rejects that model, partially because she id rejected by that model. I don't know what came first.
And yet, Sansa also sometimes seems to feel encaged by that model and by the Septa's teachings. And often, when Sansa does something that contradicts this model of conduct that she usually likes following, her thoughts go to Arya. She compares herself or gets compared to Arya, not necessarily in a pejorative manner, but almost seeing her sister as a little devil on her shoulder.
The kitchen yielded no lemon cakes, but they did find half of a cold strawberry pie, and that was almost as good. They ate it on the tower steps, giggling and gossiping and sharing secrets, and Sansa went to bed that night feeling almost as wicked as Arya. - Sansa III, AGOT
Sansa sighed. "They rode with Lord Beric, to behead Ser Gregor Clegane." She turned to Septa Mordane, who was eating porridge with a wooden spoon. "Septa, will Lord Beric spike Ser Gregor's head on his own gate or bring it back here for the king?" She and Jeyne Poole had been arguing over that last night.
The septa was horror-struck. "A lady does not discuss such things over her porridge. Where are your courtesies, Sansa? I swear, of late you've been near as bad as your sister." - Sansa III, AGOT
"It was for love," Sansa said in a rush. "Father wouldn't even give me leave to say farewell." She was the good girl, the obedient girl, but she had felt as wicked as Arya that morning, sneaking away from Septa Mordane, defying her lord father. - Sansa IV, AGOT
And who is usually disapproving of Arya's ways and telling her she puts them to shame?
Septa Mordane called after her. "Arya, come back here! Don't you take another step! Your lady mother will hear of this. In front of our royal princess too! You'll shame us all!" - Arya I, AGOT
And knowing how much Sansa cares about the way she is perceived by others, I can imagine Sansa thinking in frustration that it's unfair she gets reprimanded for these type of things when Arya does them all the time without realising that Arya suffers constantly because if it. It's just that they are less common in Sansa, so people are more surprised and "hopeful" of rectifying them. Septa Mordane almost looks at Arya as a lost cause. When she nags at Sansa it's because she wants to avoid Sansa becoming another lost cause.
And it's not that Septa Mordane is an evil witch trying to make Arya's life impossible. As much as I dislike Eddard Stark, I agree with him. This woman is just doing the job he and Cat tasked her to do. It's that she is part of an institution where girls like Arya aren't as valued as girls like Sansa.
Personally, I think she is one of the people carrying the most responsibility over Arya's bullying. I wouldn't say she participates in it, but she enables it.
During AGOT Arya describes Septa Mordane in an unflattering way and it is one of the few occasions where I don't think I should fully trust her POV, because yes, this woman is antagonistic to Arya, but I don't think she hates her.
"Septa Mordane is beside herself with fear. She's in the sept praying for your safe return." - Arya III, AGOT
I think, in her own flawed way, she is trying to "help" Arya adapt into conventional views of gender and Arya is having none of that (good for her!).
"Just where do you think you are going, Arya?" the septa demanded.
Arya glared at her. "I have to go shoe a horse," she said sweetly, taking a brief satisfaction in the shock on the septa's face. Then she whirled and made her exit, running down the steps as fast as her feet would take her. - Arya I, AGOT
"Pray, where do you think you are going, young lady?" Septa Mordane asked.
"I'm not hungry." Arya found it an effort to remember her courtesies. "May I be excused, please?" she recited stiffly.
"You may not," the septa said. "You have scarcely touched your food. You will sit down and clean your plate."
"You clean it!" Before anyone could stop her, Arya bolted for the door as the men laughed and Septa Mordane called loudly after her, her voice rising higher and higher. - Arya II, AGOT
Arya spun around, with Needle in her hand. "You better not come in here!" she warned. She slashed at the air savagely.
"The Hand will hear of this!" Septa Mordane raged.
"I don't care," Arya screamed. "Go away." - Arya II, AGOT
Poor woman is so frustrated with her job she one day passes out drunk on the table.
And I think Sansa suffers under her too, not because she dislikes the customs and views on femininity - she often recalls on Septa Mordane's teachings in moments of emotional need (Lady's armour is courtesy, find the beauty in every man) - but I think that as readers we can see how those are harming for her too.
"I've never seen an aurochs," Sansa said, feeding a piece of bacon to Lady under the table. The direwolf took it from her hand, as delicate as a queen.
Septa Mordane sniffed in disapproval. "A noble lady does not feed dogs at her table," she said, breaking off another piece of comb and letting the honey drip down onto her bread. - Sansa II, AGOT
Sansa cried as Septa Mordane marched them down the steps. They were going to take it all away; the tournaments and the court and her prince, everything, they were going to send her back to the bleak grey walls of Winterfell and lock her up forever. Her life was over before it had begun.
"Stop that weeping, child," Septa Mordane said sternly. "I am certain your lord father knows what is best for you." - Sansa III, AGOT
That one last passage drives me wild when it comes to Jeyne Poole and you'll see why later.
So basically, Septa Mordane antagonises Arya for her failings as her student. The class (Beth, Sansa & Jeyne) emulates the teacher's disapproval and distaste, Sansa feels embarrassed by association and Jeyne Poole takes advantage of the situation and targets Arya.
And now I can finally get to the true object of my obsession here, beloved middle school mean girl:
Ⅲ. Jeyne Poole and her many mixed emotions
As said, I feel so weird about my love for this girl. People call Theon a "poor little meow meow" but when I first read these books I didn't see him as an anti-hero/minor-villain during ACOK, but more of my avenging hero. I had tears of rage when he was threatening to hang Beth but I was also weirdly cheering for him. Jeyne on the other hand, she is my poor little meow meow! She is my problematic fave! And she makes me cry like crazy and I hope she has the happiest ending in these goddamn books.
I probably feel more attached to her than I feel to Arya and Sansa. I don't understand this. Anyway, I have two possible assumptions for why Jeyne is always antagonising Arya. And yes, she IS ANTAGONISING Arya, even when Arya is no longer there.
"What are you talking about?" Arya asked suddenly.
Jeyne gave her a startled look, then giggled. Sansa looked abashed. Beth blushed. No one answered. - Arya I, AGOT
Sansa was too well bred to smile at her sister's disgrace, but Jeyne was smirking on her behalf. - Arya I, AGOT
Jeyne used to call her Arya Horseface, and neigh whenever she came near. - Arya I, AGOT
Jeyne Poole had told Arya that he'd cut him up in so many pieces that they'd given him back to the butcher in a bag, and at first the poor man had thought it was a pig they'd slaughtered. - Arya II, AGOT
It was all her fault, everything bad that had happened. Sansa said so, and Jeyne too. - Arya II, AGOT
"I saw your sister this afternoon," Jeyne blurted out, as if she'd been reading Sansa's thoughts. "She was walking through the stables on her hands. Why would she do a thing like that?" - Sansa III, AGOT
"I will be a better wife than the real Arya could have been, he'll see." - The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD
"Arya Underfoot. Your sister used to call you Arya Horseface."
"It was me made up that name. Her face was long and horsey. Mine isn't. I was pretty." - The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD
You know, this entire thing started because I wanted to make a stupid joke but then I got more emotional and invested into this as I wrote, and now we are here and I don't even remember the actual joke I wanted to make so I have to improvise with the thing above.
I don't believe this is true either. There are absolutely no canon indications for Jeyne to have had been dealing with comphet and bullying Arya because of a crush (there is a rather fun fanfic though!) (and there is another but with angstier and subtler vibes and it's Theyne + Jeynsa). Although, in my opinion, there are a few other things; like class envy and projection!
Ⅲ. Ⅰ. JEYNE POOLE'S CLASS ENVY
I think hers is the most obvious case of envy, but unlike the envy between the Stark sisters it doesn't come from a place of emotional insecurity, but of socio-economical discomfort.
That is why I included "Beric Dondarrion" [insert highborn lord/knight] in that mind map.
Jeyne isn't envious of Arya's relationship with Ned Stark and much less of her skills. Jeyne is envious, and perhaps even particularly resentful, of the fact that Arya is offered AND rejects what Jeyne wishes but will always stay out of her reach.
I have joked about Jeyne's crush on Beric (and her possible implied crushes on Robb & Theon) in the past but I don't think I ever mentioned the class envy when doing so.
When [Jeyne] saw young Lord Beric Dondarrion, with his hair like red gold and his black shield slashed by lightning, she pronounced herself willing to marry him on the instant. - Sansa II, AGOT
She had seen Jeyne Poole giving [Robb] moist-eyed glances, and some of the serving girls, even ones as old as eighteen… - Catelyn XI, AGOT
"Help me." [Jeyne] clutched at [Theon]. "Please. I used to watch you in the yard, playing with your swords. You were so handsome." - The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD
All the men she seems to at some point in her life experience some form of attraction for, even if it is that of a child, it's a puppy crush, just infatuation, are people she would never have a chance with. Two (theoretically) future lord paramounts and a marcher lord. All of them unachievable to a steward's daughter. And with that in consideration, let's look at this:
Arya cocked her head to one side. "Can I be a king's councillor and build castles and become the High Septon?"
"You," Ned said, kissing her lightly on the brow, "will marry a king and rule his castle, and your sons will be knights and princes and lords and, yes, perhaps even a High Septon."
Arya screwed up her face. "No," she said, "that's Sansa." She folded up her right leg and resumed her balancing. Ned sighed and left her there. - Eddard V, AGOT
And I wonder how frustrating that must feel to Jeyne. To see someone who she deems as inferior in skills and manners because of the conditioning they've gone through under Septa Mordane's tutelage, someone who she considers beneath her, be offered and forced things she desperately wants and will never get.
Hell, Jeyne even manifests some juridical administrative knowledge and argues with Sansa about it, something she won't get to do as an adult woman, while Sansa and Arya will rule (their husband's) castles.
"Father's leg, silly. It hurts him ever so much, it makes him cross. Otherwise I'm certain he would have sent Ser Loras."
[...]
"Ser Ilyn's the King's Justice, not Ser Loras," Jeyne said. "Lord Eddard should have sent him." - Sansa III, AGOT
Not that any of them would be good at ruling anything, they are all middle schoolers at this point, but I think she could have felt vexed at constantly seeing Arya reject all that she wishes she could have for herself.
Please don't misunderstand me, that is still not a valid reason to bully Arya.
There are no valid reasons to bully a child.
But there are reasons behind Jeyne's mentality and actions, and I think some of those reasons come from a sense of resentment over how "easy" things are for Arya because of her status as Lord Stark's daughter.
As Arya Stark, Jeyne's dreams come true, she marries the future paramount Lord of Winterfell and twisted wish fulfilment is one hell of a drug and not one strong enough to numb the pain! And to add insult to injury, the real Arya gets to spend a significant amount of time accompanying Beric Dondarrion and his band of merry men. I fucking hate this!
And while I think that this is the main aspect of Jeyne bullying Arya, there is something more which I haven't seen written elsewhere and I am willing to admit it could be a sketchy interpretation, but I would like to talk about it anyway because it's MY inane post and I get to choose the straws I grasp at!
Ⅲ. Ⅱ. JEYNE POOLE'S LOOKS
We don't have a lot of physical descriptions for Jeyne. Her eyes are the most remarkable feature about her, being described as big, brown and expressive by Theon and Jaime. Sansa and Holly consider her pretty. Theon calls her beautiful, but only when prompted by Ramsay and it's not very believable. In his thoughts he previously claims she is no longer pretty because of the slashes on her back. I don't know how seriously he means this, but I find it remarkable. Asides from that she is described as a skinny, pale, brown haired girl. She describes herself as formerly pretty but not beautiful and when doing so compares herself to Sansa and sees herself as the lesser of the two.
And yet, the entire ruse she is later involved in with this pseudo-karmic punishment, is based on her looking similar enough to Arya or the Stark look to pass as one. I always thought it was so extremely funny how defensive she gets when she claims her face isn't horsey, at the mere mention of the "horseface" nickname, even without Theon telling her she looks horsey.
I don't know. It is probably that I'm looking into this with more depth than I should simply because of...obvious reasonsfsgfgsfsghgdnfjdhdf, but who sometimes makes remarks about the Stark look being one of bastards and plain-looking-people?
[Arya] even looked like Jon, with the long face and brown hair of the Starks, and nothing of their lady mother in her face or her coloring. And Jon's mother had been common, or so people whispered.- Sansa I, AGOT
My lord father found some skinny northern girl more or less the same age with more or less the same coloring. - Jaime IX, ASOS
"You [Arya] ought to marry Hodor, you're just like him, stupid and hairy and ugly!" - Sansa III, AGOT
Imagining little Sansa Stark going to vent to little Jeyne Poole after having an argument with her sister and making a perhaps not even genuinely meant comment about little Arya Stark's looks and Jeyne just sitting there mentally competing against Stannis Baratheon in who can grind their teeth the hardest.
While there are no instances of Sansa calling Arya "Horseface" she sometimes remarks to herself and to her sister that she thinks Arya is ugly and looks like a commoner.
And who has class insecurities and also seems to look similar to Arya?
"Jeyne, Jeyne, it rhymes with plain..." I can already imagine her whispering that to herself if she ever hears Theon's rhymes.
"I was never beautiful like Sansa, but they all said I was pretty. Does Lord Ramsay think I am pretty?" - The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD
The only thing Jeyne seems to really have going for her compared to Arya, the thing that could miraculously elevate her, are her looks and even those pale compared to Sansa. As said, she is described as pretty by some, but not beautiful.
In my opinion, the text doesn't really describe Arya as ugly. It is somewhat left up to interpretation since, while Sansa, Cat, Theon and Arya herself give us the impression she might be, there are also textual comparisons to Lyanna and even people who didn't know her think of Arya as beautiful (Lady Smallwood), but since these girls grew up the way they grew up...
I can imagine Jeyne feeling like her "prettiness" is the one thing she thinks can be used to make her more valuable in Westerosi society, and in order to keep that idea of herself being prettier than Arya, she has to make sure Arya doesn't feel good about her looks, so she calls her horseface.
And, if going by this entire text that I've been writing because I am stupid, that is also completely self-destructive and tragicomical !!!
Basically I think it is possible that Jeyne is projecting her own insecurities regarding her looks and her overall sense of inferiority compared to Sansa unto Arya.
And Jeyne has reasons to feel inferior to Sansa beyond simply the class hierarchy and the possible feeling of unattractiveness, because - and now I will get blocked by another load of people if this is read- Sansa is not very good at being a friend to her!
Ⅳ. The Sansa-Jeyne Dynamic
This is one of those things that completely baffles me, same as the Theon-Robb dynamic, where I have no idea how it is possible that my perception in the past ten years has been so drastically different from the majority of the fandom. And I swear to god, I've tried to change my perspective, I read metas, I tried fanfics, and I still don't get it.
This years Sansa month dedicated an entire day to Jeyne Poole.
Someone who is not very well acquainted with the books would probably assume Jeyne Poole is a very important girl in Sansa's narrative based on that information. They'd probably be surprised to find out that, since the two girls were separated, Jeyne Poole is remembered a total number of four times by Sansa Stark.
Sansa thinks of Jeyne Poole a total of four (4) times since AGOT.
In the span of four books in which both Stark sisters go through terribly drastic changes in their lives, Arya thinks of the girl who bullied her three times.
Sansa who loves and misses Jeyne thinks of her four times.
And you are telling me that she is so important to Sansa that she deserves an entire day dedicated to her? And everything that is created in that day is about how Sansa loves her so much and cares for her tremendously and will protect her?
PERSON D: It's because Sansa is traumatised. It pains her too much to think of her. Not thinking of her is a coping mechanism.
"She missed Septa Mordane, and even more Jeyne Poole, her truest friend. The septa had lost her head with the rest, for the crime of serving House Stark. Sansa did not know what had happened to Jeyne, who had disappeared from her rooms afterward, never to be mentioned again. She tried not to think of them too often, yet sometimes the memories came unbidden, and then it was hard to hold back the tears." - Sansa II, ACOK
Person D: See?
Probably! I don't oppose that interpretation, it's very possible. People often suppress painful memories. But I can still disapprove of that coping mechanism. Would you like it if you suddenly disappeared form the face of earth in extremely mysterious circumstances and your friend wouldn't even ask about what happened to you? I don't think I would feel loved and treasured if I were to know that.
I don't like the way their dynamic is perceived by a majority of the fandom based on those four thoughts and the few other times we seen them interact in AGOT.
Person E: Oh OP is just posting anti-Jeynsa stuff because they ship Jeyne, A CHILD, with Theon, AN ADULT MAN AND RAPIST!
I wouldn't consider this anti-Jeynsa since
This is what makes their dynamic intriguing for me. This is the type of Jeynsa I'm into!!!
I don't think their relationship in inherently wrong or that it would be morally condemnable.
Also I don't even really ship Theon & Jeyne as an endgame romantic/sexual ship, not that it wowuld be morally wrong for anyone to do so. I "ship" it as a very turbulent dynamic between two people who have been forced to bond by the horrible circumstances they have been in and who have had the boundaries that define certain relationship dynamics blurred in some very traumatic ways. I "ship it" in the sense that I would like to see both of them find some tranquility and peace in their lives and try to explore which of those blurred boundaries they wish to reestablish, keep blurred or fully erase. Hell, I wrote a 100k fanfic focusing on their relationship and didn't even let them be endgame. I didn't even let them be actually in love.
It's just that "cute, loving, soft, homoromantic childhood best friends" isn't the dynamic I'm usually interested in.
And I don't think the Jeynsa dynamic is that.
I think there are class issues and inferiorities to be explored. I think Sansa is true in her affections for Jeyne, she loves her and sees her as a friend, but she is also diminishing and tends to look down on her, and regardless if it is a coping mechanism or not, she shows no interest in finding out what happened to who she considers her "truest friend".
And I don't believe Sansa is a bad person for this, I believe she is a young girl. Relationships between women are complicated enough already. Relationships between pre-teen and teen girls have entire studies dedicated to them.
Person F: How much would Sansa even consider her as a bff? In their bullying of Arya, Jeyne comes across as the acolyte to Queen Bea Sansa. And that's just modern projection. Jeyne is from a minor house. She's just a steward's daughter. She's just slightly above a servant in feudalist hierarchy. She's assigned to be her "friend" coz she's conveniently the same age, and that's just what you did then. Like "milk-siblings", servants who shared a wetnurse with a lord. (1/2)(2/2) Lower houses are fancy domesticity to the greater houses. The great nobility is fancy domesticity to royalty. That's just how feudalism worked. Everyone was thought of as a servant, the entirety of society was built on a network of servitude and dependance. Even the king is a servant: to God. Or "Gods" in the case of ASOIAF. Hence all the conclicts between church and royalty.
I saw this comment a while ago on a Tumblr post (I'm not putting a source link because I don't believe that would be fair to them and also it's older than a year) and I don't like it.
I think it is unfairly villainising Sansa and also removing Jeyne's agency in that situation by putting her as an "acolyte" (assistant, follower), when the composition of our first scene involving them, in my opinion, shows her as an adviser. I also don't like how it is pretending that Jeyne is being forced to be Sansa's friend and if going by that logic, then why isn't Beth being forced to be Arya's friend?
I disagree with it. I think it simplifies a more complex situation.
But I wish we were allowed to explore the less wholesome aspects in the Jeyne-Sansa dynamic without being instantaneously labeled as a Sansa-anti and it is what I'll attempt.
Something I always found very endearing and relatable about Sansa was how much she craved for friends - especially female friends - since she is left alone in King's Landing.
It had been so long since she had enjoyed the company of other women, she had almost forgotten how pleasant it could be. - Sansa II, ASOS
How am I supposed not to feel my heart ache in bittersweetness? My favourite Sansa "friendship" is actually the one she builds with Garlan Tyrell, but this is a moment of bliss.
It's interesting how Sansa often finds amusement in female friends who act very differently from how she does, but as her character evolves in the books her feelings for those types of companions also seem to change.
We have Jeyne, Margaery and Myranda, as her "friends", characters with whom she experiences very different dynamics and I think it is at least partially involved with their classes too.
Jeyne is the one she treats the most poorly, in my opinion. Ignoring how little she thinks of her after Jeyne is taken away by Littlefinger, let's see some of their previous interactions and let's also keep in mind that Sansa is (at most) a 12-year-old girl not having a very good time and she deserves compassion:
[...] Jeyne and Sansa cried out in unison as riders crashed together, lances exploding into splinters while the commons screamed for their favorites. Jeyne covered her eyes whenever a man fell, like a frightened little girl, but Sansa was made of sterner stuff. A great lady knew how to behave at tournaments. Even Septa Mordane noted her composure and nodded in approval. - Sansa II, AGOT
Sansa feels superior to Jeyne for staying calm at the face of violence. This will become a pattern.
Jeyne Poole wept so hysterically that Septa Mordane finally took her off to regain her composure, but Sansa sat with her hands folded in her lap, watching with a strange fascination.
[...]
By then Septa Mordane had returned, alone. Jeyne had been feeling ill, she explained; she had helped her back to the castle. Sansa had almost forgotten about Jeyne. - Sansa II, AGOT
Jeyne is hysterical after seeing a man die at the tourney, Sansa isn't very concerned for her friend's mental state.
"His leg?" Jeyne said uncertainly. She was a pretty, dark-haired girl of Sansa's own age. "Did Ser Loras hurt his leg?"
"Not his leg," Sansa said, nibbling delicately at a chicken leg. "Father's leg, silly. It hurts him ever so much, it makes him cross. Otherwise I'm certain he would have sent Ser Loras." - Sansa III, AGOT
"Silly". It could be solely meant with endearment, but throughout that scene Sansa is in a bad mood and I wonder how Jeyne might have perceived it given she continues arguing with her about juridical administration and contradicts Sansa.
Of course, Jeyne had been in love with Lord Beric ever since she had first glimpsed him in the lists. Sansa thought she was being silly; Jeyne was only a steward's daughter, after all, and no matter how much she mooned after him, Lord Beric would never look at someone so far beneath him, even if she hadn't been half his age. - Sansa III, AGOT
Again, "silly", and this time with a slightly classist connotation. And the saddest thing is that Sansa is right, but she often daydreams of unrealistic or impossible romantic scenarios herself and had a crush on Waymar Royce, a man who was older than her, of lower nobility and about to make a vow of celibacy. Why is Jeyne the silly one for daydreaming?
"They're killing everyone," the steward's daughter had shrieked at her. She went on and on. The Hound had broken down her door with a warhammer, she said. There were bodies on the stair of the Tower of the Hand, and the steps were slick with blood. Sansa dried her own tears as she struggled to comfort her friend. They went to sleep in the same bed, cradled in each other's arms like sisters.
The second day was even worse. [...] The only sounds were Jeyne Poole's endless whimpers and sobs. - Sansa IV, AGOT
Jeyne Poole had been confined with her, but Jeyne was useless. Her face was puffy from all her crying, and she could not seem to stop sobbing about her father.
"I'm certain your father is well," Sansa told her when she had finally gotten the dress buttoned right. "I'll ask the queen to let you see him." She thought that kindness might lift Jeyne's spirits, but the other girl just looked at her with red, swollen eyes and began to cry all the harder. She was such a child. - Sansa IV, AGOT
Remember what I said about Septa Mordane's "Stop weeping, child."? Sansa is vexed by her crying although Sansa cries herself, thinks of her as useless, she thinks demeaningly of Jeyne because she is crying after realising her father has been killed..
"Jeyne's scared," Sansa said. "She won't stop crying. I promised her I'd ask if she could see her father." - Sansa IV, AGOT
This feels like a twisted version of the first passage in this list. Sansa is scared herself, we know this because she was trembling as she dressed, but she speaks only of Jeyne's fear.
Jeyne Poole and all her things were gone when Ser Mandon Moore returned Sansa to the high tower of Maegor's Holdfast. No more weeping, she thought gratefully. - Sansa IV, AGOT
Sansa, love, I know you are very stressed out but come on open your eyes!
Somehow this reminds me a bit of a less extreme version of Theon's inconsistencies in thoughts and actions involving Jeyne in ADWD. He is very crude when thinking of her, but if you go through his actual treatment of her, he is surprisingly tender. The only exception I can think of for them is in TWOW.
With Sansa, I think it is similar, but whereas Theon is painfully aware of how perilous their lives as Ramsay's playthings are, Sansa constantly refuses to see the gravity of their situation and thus is dismissive of Jeyne in a moment where it becomes terribly cruel. I don't think she doesn't love Jeyne, of course, she does,
The kitchen yielded no lemon cakes, but they did find half of a cold strawberry pie, and that was almost as good. They ate it on the tower steps, giggling and gossiping and sharing secrets, - Sansa III, AGOT
"Where are you sending her? She hasn't done anything wrong, she's a good girl." - Sansa IV, AGOT
No more weeping, she thought gratefully. Yet somehow it seemed colder with Jeyne gone, even after she'd built a fire. - Sansa IV, AGOT
She missed Septa Mordane, and even more Jeyne Poole, her truest friend. [...] Sansa did not know what had happened to Jeyne, who had disappeared from her rooms afterward, never to be mentioned again. - Sansa II, ACOK
She sang for her mother and her father, for her grandfather Lord Hoster and her uncle Edmure Tully, for her friend Jeyne Poole, - Sansa V, ACOK
She had not had a friend to gossip with since poor Jeyne Poole. - Alayne II, AFFC
Remembering bright cold days at Winterfell, when she would race through Winterfell with her friend Jeyne Poole, with Arya running after them trying to keep up. - Alayne I, TWOW
I think Sansa just sometimes takes her for granted.
I think it's sad because it's realistic and it hurts even more when you compare her treatment of Jeyne to her treatment of Margaery and Myranda after going through a period of hostile isolation and a heartbreaking customary middle school betrayal, two things that I believe influence her feelings for both girls.
With Margaery and her posse, she is idealistic. She considers Margaery to be kind, brave and wise, and finds bliss (and a little bit of envy and gayness, ooooh) in the company of her ladies.
Margaery's kindness had been unfailing, and her presence changed everything. Her ladies welcomed Sansa as well. It had been so long since she had enjoyed the company of other women, she had almost forgotten how pleasant it could be. Lady Leonette gave her lessons on the high harp, and Lady Janna shared all the choice gossip. Merry Crane always had an amusing story, and little Lady Bulwer reminded her of Arya, though not so fierce.
Closest to Sansa's own age were the cousins Elinor, Alla, and Megga, Tyrells from junior branches of the House. "Roses from lower on the bush," quipped Elinor, who was witty and willowy. Megga was round and loud, Alla shy and pretty, but Elinor ruled the three by right of womanhood; she was a maiden flowered, whereas Megga and Alla were mere girls.
The cousins took Sansa into their company as if they had known her all their lives. They spent long afternoons doing needlework and talking over lemon cakes and honeyed wine, played at tiles of an evening, sang together in the castle sept ... and often one or two of them would be chosen to share Margaery's bed, where they would whisper half the night away. Alla had a lovely voice, and when coaxed would play the woodharp and sing songs of chivalry and lost loves. Megga couldn't sing, but she was mad to be kissed. She and Alla played a kissing game sometimes, she confessed, but it wasn't the same as kissing a man, much less a king. - Sansa II, ASOS
There is a direct comparison to Arya, mentions of many of Sansa's hobbies, some sapphicness, and if I squint my eyes the needlework and lemon cakes remind me of Jeyne & Beth. And then...Sansa is made to marry Tyrion and that match frustrates the Tyrell's ambitions.
And here Sansa found the Tyrells. Margaery gave her such a sad look, and when the Queen of Thorns tottered in between Left and Right, she never looked at her at all. Elinor, Alla, and Megga seemed determined not to know her. My friends, Sansa thought bitterly. - Sansa III, ASOS
After that emotional betrayal, Sansa spends more time of isolation and this time it's even more depressing in my opinion. The few people who show her kindness are also somewhat compliant in her misery and then she gets abducted by Petyr Baelish and has to take the role of his bastard daughter, Alayne Stone. Under this guise she meets Myranda Royce and Mya Stone.
While I would say she befriends both girls, her connection with Randa resembles that which she had with Jeyne and Margaery more than her connection with Mya. Both of them share some common interests and Myranda, isn't disdainful at all of her supposed bastardy.
Person G: That's because she is cunning and suspects Alayne is actually highborn.
I'm not so convinced by that argument! She is described of being as closes as sisters with Mya Stone, another bastard.
Sansa's distrust for Myranda is, in my opinion, only partially fuelled by Littlefinger's words.
"Soon or late you must meet Myranda Royce," Petyr had warned her. "When you do, be careful. She likes to play the merry fool, but underneath she's shrewder than her father. Guard your tongue around her." - Alayne II, AFFC
I think her distrust comes mostly from her last close homosocial relationship having been a farce, from feeling manipulated, used and deceived. And that mistrust remains but is worn down by Randa's warm personality.
I think there is is something very sweet about comparing the following passages:
Sansa knelt at the feet of her future queen. "You do me great honor, Your Grace."
"Won't you call me Margaery? Please, rise. Loras, help the Lady Sansa to her feet. Might I call you Sansa?" - Sansa I, ASOS
"Kind?" The older girl gave a laugh. "How boring that would be. I aspire to be wicked. You must tell me all your secrets on the ride down. May I call you Alayne?"
"If you wish, my lady." But you'll get no secrets from me.
"I am 'my lady' at the Gates, but up here on the mountain you may call me Randa. How many years have you, Alayne?"
[...]
"As you say, my lady."
"Randa. Come now, you can say it. Ran. Da."
"Randa." - Alayne II, AFFC
It's curious how in both cases there is this chance of friendship being offered to Sansa by a girl who has a higher rank than her but one is done much more courteously than the other. Sansa never calls Myranda "Randa" again, but as she warms up to her she begins referring to her as such in the narration. I think that is very heartwarming.
Maybe it is stupid to complain about the idealisation of a flawed friendship in these books, but I think the reason it annoys me so much is because it removes this type of development in Sansa's socialising. Her interactions with Myranda are delightful to read and I think it's the healthiest friendship she has formed yet.
And Myranda also embodies aspects of Margaery and Jeyne, so it's an even funnier conclusion. She is a little bit less ladylike than Sansa, but is still comfortable with her gender and the assigned roles, she is a little foul mouthed, she likes to gossip and to take friends to her bed (in an apparent not-sexual way).
"Lothor Brune?" Myranda raised an eyebrow. "Does she know?" She did not wait for an answer. "He has no hope, poor man. My father's tried to make a match for Mya, but she'll have none of them. She is half mule, that one."
Despite herself, Alayne found herself warming to the older girl. She had not had a friend to gossip with since poor Jeyne Poole. "Do you think Ser Lothor likes her as she is, in mail and leather?" she asked the older girl, who seemed so worldly-wise. "Or does he dream of her draped in silks and velvets?"
"He's a man. He dreams of her naked."
She is trying to make me blush again.
Lady Myranda must have heard her thoughts. "You do turn such a pretty shade of pink. When I blush I look quite like an apple. I have not blushed for years, though." She leaned closer. "Does your father plan to wed again?" - Alayne II, AFFC
Even Lady Myranda began to yawn and complain of being weary. "We have apartments prepared for all of you," she told Alayne, "but if you like you may share my bed tonight. It's large enough for four."
"I should be honored, my lady."
"Randa. Count yourself fortunate that I'm so tired. All I want to do is curl up and go to sleep. Usually when ladies share my bed they have to pay a pillow tax and tell me all about the wicked things they've done."
"What if they haven't done any wicked things?"
"Why, then they must confess all the wicked things they want to do. Not you, of course. I can see how virtuous you are just by looking at those rosy cheeks and big blue eyes of yours." She yawned again. "I hope your feet are warm. I do hate bedmaids with cold feet." - Alayne II, AFFC
"I do hope you will forgive me for depriving you of Lady Myranda's company," Alayne told the knights. She did not wait for a reply, but took the older girl arm-in-arm and drew her away from the bench. Only when they were out of earshot did she whisper, "Do you really know where my father is?"
"Of course not. Walk faster, my new suitors may be following." Myranda made a face. "Ossifer Lipps is the dullest knight in the Vale, but Uther Shett aspires to his laurels. I am praying they fight a duel for my hand, and kill each other."
Alayne giggled. "Surely Lord Nestor would not seriously entertain a suit from such men." - Alayne I, TWOW
"Too late," Myranda said. "They're here. We shall need to do the honors by ourselves." She grinned. "Last one to the gate must marry Uther Shett."
They made a race of it, dashing headlong across the yard and past the stables, skirts flapping, whilst knights and serving men alike looked on, and pigs and chickens scattered before them. It was most unladylike, but Alayne sound found herself laughing. For just a little while, as she ran, she forget who she was, and where, and found herself remembering bright cold days at Winterfell, when she would race through Winterfell with her friend Jeyne Poole, with Arya running after them trying to keep up.
By the time they arrived at the gatehouse, both of them were red-faced and panting. Myranda had lost her cloak somewhere along the way. They were just in time. - Alayne I, TWOW
I don't even ship them (Mya x Myranda and Sansa x Brienne ftw), and this doesn't have anything to do with the theme of whatever this text turned into, but I love their dynamic so much I would ship it if it became canon. It's adorable and funny and out of her dynamics with other girls, this one is my favourite.
We know that the Sansa-Margaery friendship turned out disappointingly, and some have the suspicion that Myranda could act as a new tormentor for Sansa, and I have no way to disprove that, but seeing her development in regards to female friendships makes me at least doubt it.
She took Jeyne for granted and was disdainful, spent a time of hostile isolation, met Margaery and her ladies, went through the horrors of idealisation and crashed against the truth, spent even more time alone and kept the wounds from her sorrow, and is now apparently finding a healthy friendship with Myranda Royce and I love that for her.
It makes me wonder how her feelings for Jeyne could evolve if they get to meet again, and whether she will be more conscious of how their friendship was flawed. Of how she should have probably tried to be more attentive to the dynamic between Jeyne & Arya, of how she perhaps shouldn't have been passive about Jeyne's bullying nor participated in it.
As I write I am checking everything in my journals and I couldn't find a single occasion in which we see Sansa calling Arya "Horseface", but I did however find her thinking of Arya's looks as "horsey" with a negative connotation:
Her long horsey face got the stubborn look that meant she was going to do something willful.
[...]
One day she came back grinning her horsey grin, her hair all tangled and her clothes covered in mud, clutching a raggedy bunch of purple and green flowers for Father. - Sansa II, AGOT
She also giggles at and uses Jeyne's nicknames for Hobber and Horas Redwyne:
The Redwyne twins, Ser Horas and Ser Hobber, homely youths with orange hair and square, freckled faces. Sansa and Jeyne Poole used to call them Ser Horror and Ser Slobber, and giggle whenever they caught sight of them. - Arya V, AGOT
She recognized black-skinned Jalabhar Xho, gloomy Ser Aron Santagar, the Redwyne twins Horror and Slobber - Sansa V, ACOK
Paxter Redwyne, Lord of the Arbor, marched down the length of the hall flanked by his twin sons Horror and Slobber, - Sansa VIII, ACOK
And seeing her snicker at those names is already enough for me to pin her as a passive victimiser in their case. Even if she felt bad about it, something I could find no indication of. Sansa doesn't think of how painful it must be for them to be referred to that way, how dehumanising it is.
So, with that information, I don't think she's above having called Arya "Horseface".
Ⅴ. Adulthood
Where are the adults? Why is it that during the entire time we spend with these three girls under the care of Septa Mordane, Ned and Catelyn Stark and Vayon Poole we never see them taking action and putting a stop to this?
DontbotherwiththepronunciationRightNowRealisingTheySpentWayTooMuchFuckingTimeDevelopingAPunchlineTheyLost: Probably because this book isn't about medieval setting middle school bullying, you idiot! And there is a lot of really urgent stuff going on with the adults. Get over yourself.
Yeah...
But still! Prior to all that, prior to the story we've been reading, these characters existed in their own universe and in that universe, all these girls have been judged by adult society and have been set in a toxic environment that unintentionally allows and encourages the bullying.
I already explained that when talking about Septa Mordane.
My question now isn't whether we should fault the adults or not, but more about how this would have developed as Arya, Jeyne and Sansa all became adults.
Of corse, this is all speculation on a rather unimportant topic that has been discussed hundreds of times before and my opinion is probably somewhat tainted by lingering emotions, so yeah this might have been worthless but I couldn't sleep and it was a little fun.
Perhaps because of my own issues with bullying, which were handed very poorly by the adults who should have solved it, I like daydreaming about these three girls, all of who I like and wish good things upon, and wondering whether they would have been able to solve their problems as they matured into adulthood if their lives had remained peaceful. I sadly don't think they would have.
Throughout the entire text I wrote, I felt like walking on egg shells because, as you can probably see if you just look at my blog, I barely talk about Arya or Sansa and I know there is a lot of tension between fans of those characters and I didn't want to say anything that could feel offensive and somehow it was still surprisingly easy to write this. I think maybe it is because I don't relate to any of the characters, like I do with Theon or Barbrey, so I can distance myself from it a little more. On the other hand, this is a topic that still haunts me.
I really don't think they would have solved any of this if they had remained in Winterfell with things going the way they usually went.
But now, after being completely torn and victimised by war in extremely different ways that still somehow manage to bring similar themes to their stories (the always present threat of sexual abuse, the weaponising of a person, depersonalisation, dead parents, a broken home, losing their privileges as highborn, being saved by the Hound), once they reunite and are the only bonds that remains of a happier time, I think they could.
Maybe their newly found maturity and the despair born out of tragedy could make it easier to overcome all their past offences and forge a bond.
It's strange. I always go for the bitter, resentful and scorned women - I wonder why - (Barb, Cersei) or those who have aspects I can relate to cultural duality, immigration or rootlessness (Theon, Dany) but never for the more-or-less-happily-gender-conforming "damsel in distress", much less for one who reminds me of some of the worst people I've met, and yet out of the three girls involved in this she is the one I am the most attached to.
I think she mostly grew on me after I learnt she was omitted from the show and that her narrative was given to Sansa because that is such a cruel joke from D&D.
Jeyne Poole: Hey! I am the character meant to show how everyone is valuable, worthy and deserving of being saved and protected and how everyone matters and also to further develop Theon's character while functioning as a symbol of his culpability and regret of the three vilest things he has done(among other things of course)!
D&D: Ok, we are cutting her because she is not important enough to matter. Give her plot to the barely adult red-headed Stark so Theon can find redemption by saving a Stark and getting a wolf pin and we can shiptease Sansa with a bunch of people and marketise her as an ice queen girlboss.
It's so mean it's a little funny. On a meta level I think she is the biggest loser in this series. I think that is why I like her so much. I liked her before I knew of that and I remember crying at @/croclock's art of her and Theon escaping (1) (2) (3), but I didn't feel as emotionally attached to her until after I found out.
I remember when I watched the show there was a scene that caused a lot of controversy that I can somehow relate to this.
Sandor Clegane: You've changed, Little Bird. None of it would have happened if you'd left King's Landing with me. No Littlefinger, no Ramsay... none of it.
Sansa Stark: Without Littlefinger and Ramsay and the rest, I would have stayed a Little Bird all my life.
And of course this dialogue is gross and it doesn't make any sense in the books, and I still wrote it down on my journals because I think, maybe trying to be an optimist, that the message behind it was different than what was actually said???
It comes across as "I'm happy and grateful I was abused and raped" which is nauseating, obviously, but I think it was rather supposed to be more of a "All the choices I've made across my life and all the events that occurred through it have lead me here, to become the person I am today and I am proud of that person." which could still have been controversial, but is something I would have agreed with more, and it's not something I would only apply on these girls.
Maybe we'll get such a moment at some point with a better execution, hopefully, in the books.
#speaking#this escalated.#like to an entire different level I didn't knew existed#I just finished reading it and I honestly thin the fact this happened is better and funnier than whatever dumb joke I wanted to originally#make. I am so sorry for whoever opens the read more. This is hilarious#that's what a breakfast lunch and dinner consisting of ibuprofen and sink water will do to you#I feel like if I tag this I will get into trouble or at least blocked a lot so I will tag this as#Arya-Jeyne-Sansa thing#for now#I forgot the goddamn joke#My biggest fear about this is that it is so long no one will finish reading it (which would be kind of funny)#fuck it#I am posting it!#the narrative didn't doom me it just ditched me#Jeyne Poole#beth cassel#septa mordane#arya stark#sansa stark
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Rejection sensitive dysphoria awareness & how I cope
Disclaimer: I don't claim to be an expert, this is advice from my personal experiences aimed to help others who experience RSD, as I have a long term experience with the condition and don't often see people talk about how to manage it. I've had to figure out a lot of it myself so I wanted to share my methods for anyone else who might find them useful :] please if you think you experience RSD or any other neurodivergency do your own research, or ask for a professional opinion. Also please feel free to say so if you think my methods are actually bad/harmful or if you have any other methods, because like I said, this is just stuff I've figured out for myself, I don't claim to know it all!
Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) is, in short, a severe emotional reaction to real or perceived rejection. It's most commonly linked to ADHD however it is likely something which just more commonly develops in people with certain neurodivergencies (I have a diagnosis of autism, for example). It hasn't been researched very much so there isn't that much information out there about what it is or how to manage it, but it's something which can significantly affect your wellbeing and your relationships with others. At times I find it debilitating. I've experienced it for a number of years now and I've spent a lot of time on self awareness and analysing RSD based anxiety. I hope this not only helps others with RSD but helps to spread awareness of the condition- if you think you experience RSD you absolutely are not alone.
The anxiety lens
It can be really tricky to identify which thoughts are real and which are not because the nature of RSD is one which is paranoid and always jumps to conclusions, and the phrase 'what if' is very powerful. One way I've learnt to deal with this is to remember something very important: when anxiety is present it is like a lens you will look through and it will cloud your judgement of what you see. If you are experiencing RSD and are worried your friend is upset with you, you will listen to them/read their messages as if this is true, and this is where your 'proof' comes from. RSD is triggered by perceived rejection, and of course this will be worse and more frequent when anxiety is clouding your perceptions. Reminding myself of this is probably the most useful method I have found to deal with RSD because it follows the RSD anxiety path as far back as you can take it. There are no 'what if's, the anxiety will be making you see things from an altered perspective.
Anxiety sources
Are there any other reasons your anxiety could be worse right now? Stress and hormonal changes commonly exaggerate my anxiety and this frequently manifests as RSD. Identifying this doesn't always make the anxiety go away, but it does give some peace of mind of the likely real reason for why I am suddenly feeling so much worse.
Social exhaustion
I find I can swing into a very low spot very quickly after seeing friends, which is most likely just social exhaustion but because it has come directly after socialising it can feel as if there must be a reason, and the RSD reason is that the social interaction must have 'failed'. I also find this especially difficult with my friends who also experience social exhaustion and also need a period of recharge because this could mean they aren't as chatty as usual, which of course feeds the RSD. Remember that you (and possibly your friend also) are likely just tired, and give yourself time to rest.
The better it is, the worse it gets
A cruel side to RSD I feel is that the more I care for someone, or the more fun I had in a social interaction, the worse my RSD can be. I can also find it hard to understand why someone is friends with me or accept that this is the case, and I get very scared of losing the people I care most about. However more often than no your friends do care about you just as much as you do for them, or they wouldn't be your friends at all. Your friends love you and they will not just abandon you or reject you for no reason, or even if you do make a mistake, because mistakes can be talked through and overcome. The RSD conclusion jump that your friend suddenly hates you is so incredibly unlikely (and if it does happen then that doesn't sound like much of a friend in the first place.)
Help! my friend has disappeared for a day (or longer)
This is never fun, RSD loves it when this happens because there is so much room for 'what if's. You must just remind yourself that it's very unlikely you're the reason they've disappeared, especially when you've not done anything deliberate which would upset them. They really are most likely just busy!
One good way to help deal with this long term is to have strong communication foundations where possible. Let your friend know this is something you struggle with, and let each other know that if there is ever a real issue, you can talk about it. Doing this will give you more room to breathe and more reassurance that there are no issues because your friend has not told you there are. It also isn't really your responsibility to be hyper aware of what you might have maybe possibly done 'wrong', it's up to the other person to tell you if there's an issue. Remembering that you're allowed to not worry about whether you've accidentally done something wrong can take a lot of weight off.
Help! I can feel myself trapped in an anxiety spot/loop
Sometimes while anxious if I talk to a friend I can get trapped in a loop of needing and seeking reassurance, knowing that I'm on the verge of an RSD based breakdown. My best advice for this is to just tell your friend you think you are entering/are in an anxiety loop- I find that exposing the anxiety makes it easier to deal with, while not actively asking for reassurance. Asking for reassurance in the moment is something I try to avoid wherever possible. While it can make things feel really hard and like youre suffering alone, I personally try not to so I can build up my resilience, as doing so can just reinforce the anxiety. Plus while I'm in an anxious state that reassurance sometimes doesn't do much anyway because I'm still seeing things from a perspective of anxiety.
I worry that my RSD will upset my friends or offend them
RSD can make you feel horrible for doubting your friends, and it can feel scary admitting any of these feelings to them for fear that they'll be offended you've thought that way about them, or that you're blaming them for your RSD. But good friends will listen and understand and know this isn't what you intend. To help, approach conversations from the angle of 'my anxiety causes me to feel this way', not that they themselves cause you to feel this way.
Why is this even happening to me?
RSD is suspected to develop from certain sorts of experiences in life, and is more likely to develop in those who are neurodiverse. Identifying what might have caused my RSD has given me a lot of peace of mind and reassurance that I'm not just going mad- these are responses based on past experience.
Conclusion
Managing RSD, from my experience, is a lot of building resilience and healthier thought patterns. It never truly goes away but you can get better at minimising it's effects. Introspection is key to deconstructing RSD and tracing it back to the sources. It's usually never actually about the other people around you, despite it absolutely feeling that way. I hope at least some of my experiences could be helpful to anyone who experiences RSD- best of luck and best wishes if you do :]
#if this helps even one person it will be worth posting despite how scared i am (which ironically is probs the RSD talking)#rejection sensitivity#rejection sensitive dysphoria#RSD#autism#actually autistic#ADHD#neurodivergent#actually neurodivergent#disability pride month
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What do u think of the phrase “from the river to the sea Palestine will be free”? Apparently it’s antisemitic and I wanted ur opinion
Short answer: Yes, mostly.
Long answer: below the cut. I need to preface with a few things:
My statement on the war is the same as it has always been. Dying is bad, I am concerned about people living in imminent danger (including people I know and people I don't). Also, I have always been for a two state solution, human rights, self determination, etc. for everybody.
There's a narrative about how it's not necessarily the responsibility of a person to explain what is / isn't offensive to their culture / identity, which is valid. But most of my Jewish community is very into educating others, and I'd rather you come to me than not at all.
There's an old saying, "2 Jews, 3 opinions." So don't take what I have to say as the end all be all. Also, while I've spent a lot of time intentionally educating myself on this issue (especially beyond what they just teach us growing up), I have never claimed to be an expert.
Resources you might be interested in at the bottom.
Like most things in Judaism and surrounding modern day Israel, this answer can be a bit complicated when going into the full context. So please bear with me. And remember that one of our main texts (Talmud) is a tiny section of Torah surrounded by a giant page of two ancient rabbis literally arguing with each other. Please don't be mad that the answer isn't super easy.
First, a bit of history.
Claims to the land: Both Jews and Palestinians have ancestral claims to the piece of land that we call modern Israel. There's really not a way to argue around that, nor should anyone. In ancient times, Jews / Israelites / Hebrews were not the only people to be living there. Sometimes they lived in peace with others, sometimes they were at war. (As was typical for the time period). Up until about the time of the 1948 UN resolution, there wasn't really a concept of "Palestinians" as a specifically Arab people. Palestine was just one of the names used for the land, in addition to Israel, Zion, and others.
Theology: Jews have religious texts claiming that Israel is our homeland given by Gd. Much (but not all) of the religious context actually comes directly from the story of Passover, a holiday which is starting on Monday night. Jews were slaves in Egypt, Pharoah was bad, 10 plagues, parting of the Red Sea, 40 years in the desert, Israel. Etc. Do I think that this should actually matter in a modern day political / civil conflict? No. But I think it's worth mentioning for context because some people think it is relevant.
Religious Spaces: Jews, Christians, and Muslims all have highly important landmarks around what is now Israel.
Jews in the land: Although the Jews were as a whole kicked out of Israel in the post Temple period (after the second Temple was destroyed, leaving only the Western Wall that we have now), a portion of Jews remained in the area. Additionally, there has been a pretty through line of belief that Jews would some day be back in that land. (Also Passover: at the end of the service we say "next year in Jerusalem!") Zionism - the belief that there should be a modern state of Israel, has always existed in some form, although sometimes not using that name.
Modern Political Agreements: There were some phases of individual Jewish communities going into the land and building what is now Tel Aviv, parts of Jerusalem, etc. Then there was the British Mandate. I forget the timeline, but there were multiple international offers to give Jews a piece of land was smaller than what Israel is now, or didn't even include Jewish holy sites, and from my knowledge, most of the Jewish leaders at those times were ready to accept anything they were offered.
Then after the Holocaust, there were millions of displaced Jews with nowhere to go. One of the primary reasons why the UN established the modern state of Israel was to address that problem - No one wanted to let them in, they didn't want to go anywhere random, and a general sense that there had to be a place that Jews could go to a be safe if something like the Holocaust were to happen again. That UN resolution was in 1948. There has been on and off war in the region since well before 1948, but the day after that resolution, all hell broke loose.
Gaza & Hamas: A lot of progress has been made since 1948. Israel has peace treaties with many Arab countries, Egypt being a prime example. Most relevant to this question and this moment in time is that in 2005, Israel left Gaza. The Israeli government displaced tons of Jewish & non Jewish Israelis to give that land to Palestinians. After leaving, Gaza was left to govern itself. The government that was chosen was Hamas. Hamas is not really a government and does not look after its people, its goal is not to govern, but to destroy Israel. And not only to destroy Israel because it is the political entity, but because it is the Jewish state specifically.
Now, the actual phrase
Meaning of From The River to The Sea: This phrase directly references from the Jordan River to the Mediterranean Sea. It calls to completely eliminate the existence of the modern, democratic, Jewish state of Israel, and replace it with a modern, most likely undemocratic and led by Hamas, state of Palestine.
Also: This catchy chant was created and continues to be pushed by people who are antisemitic and want to destroy not only modern Israel, but see all Jews as inherently evil.
However: It's a catchy chant. People want peace, human rights, and self determination, just as I said above. If all the people around you are claiming to want those same things, and this is the catchy chant that has become part of the brand, it makes sense to join in on it.
Plus: From the the river to the sea, no one should be oppressed, deprived of human rights, or living in imminent danger. Dying is bad.
So what does that all mean?
One of the major reasons why modern Israel exists is for the protection of the Jewish people. One of the (many) major reasons why Palestinians do not have a modern state is because Hamas and other Palestinian leadership have refused to negotiate with Israel and have only ever called for its complete and total destruction. Hamas has always called for destruction through violent means not just because Israel is currently there, but because Israel is Jewish.
So my "final answer": The chant was created by, is in line with, and supports movements which not only seek to eliminate the modern state of Israel, but do so through violent and destructive means specifically because it is Jewish. Therefore, in my opinion and that of most of the Jewish community, From The River To The Sea Palestine Will Be Free is an antisemitic slogan.
Furthermore, regardless of if the slogan is defined formally as antisemitic or not, it often accompanies people and actions which make Jews, including myself, feel unsafe.
That being said, there have always been Jewish voices calling for the elimination of Israel. After all, 2 Jews, 3 Opinions. And, many, if not most, people who repeat that phrase don't know the full history and don't intend to be antisemitic - the Pro Palestinian movement has done a wonderful job at branding around human rights.
Some more of my opinions, just for the record if I still managed to have your attention.
Just because you disagree with a government or the way a country was formed, does not mean the country does not have a right to exist. I disagree with the American government almost all the time, and the founding of this country relied on abusing BIPOC. But America is here, and so we deal with it and try to make the best of it.
I hate Netanyahu. I always have. My grandpa, who used to like him, now hates him as much as I do. We talked last night about how he is making it so difficult to be Jewish around the world right now.
My definition of the word Zionism: The belief that modern Israel has a right to exist as a democratic Jewish state.
My perfect version of that land: People stop killing each other, everyone has the right to self governance, universal human rights, everyone has safe access to their own holy sites. I think the most likely way to get there is through some sort of two state solution. I do not know what the lines look like.
Israel policy and politics used to be a hobby for me, something I cared about and found interesting. It was also an entry point into my political career. Then it was my job. Now it's not fun and I do try to avoid it because I get too emotional and I can't really do anything about it anyway. I said Netanyahu is making it hard to be Jewish anywhere in the world, because diaspora Jews are constantly being blamed for the actions of an independent country. It gets hard.
I have generally avoided talking about October 7th, and the ongoing war. That is because there are images from that day that I cannot unsee. My intrusive thoughts are those images. It's not healthy for me to be plagued by that constantly.
You may have read me write about this before, but I know a lot of people in Israel right now. My best friend and her son - my nephew, live just west of Jerusalem in a small Orthodox community, which means it sometimes takes days for me to get responses from her after a big event, especially if it overlaps with Shabbat or another holiday. I check in with her just a couple of days ago though, and she said she's doing well and she feels safe.
Resources you might be interested in:
ADL on From The River to The Sea
AJC on From The River to The Sea
AP on From The River to The Sea
History.com overview of Israel history
MyJewishLearning overview of Israel history
US State Department on the creation of Israel in 1948
Brittanica on history & conflict in Israel
Anyway, I hope this answers your question, I'm sorry it was so long, and I'm aware that I'm about to get some hateful comments. If you are going to send me a hateful anon, just know that I'm going to block you, then check my blocked list, and know who you are. I'm not going to sacrifice my mental health and stability over people who don't understand the full context of what they are talking about and choose to just attack with hate.
#beep#yo#this got long but i think it's all important#dying is bad#I hope this answered the question#i know im about to get hate. but im just gonna keep reblogging harry and living my best life
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For @tolkiengenweek for animal relationships
Follow up to my post here about mobility aids in early first age Beleriand, I wanted to talk more about how animal relationships are utilized to help people who are injured or disabled. This will focus primarily on elves in first age Beleriand but I will make a second one about humans in more detail
I also want to make a follow up post with different animals as I focused on horses and dogs here
As always please feel free to ask more! this kind of world building is so important to me!
Thank you so much @nelyoslegalteam for your support and encouragement with this!!
-Horses
Note: I absolutely love horses but I am by no means an expert on equine therapy or equipment. I did research but I apologize for any potential errors
Second note: I am myself disabled having neurological conditions and brain damage but obviously I do not experience the entire range of experiences of others so I welcome feedback or correction!
Some of the first widely used accommodations for disability effecting mobility were devices that allow those unable to walk or unable to walk without pain or difficulty to ride! For some elves this might be their primary method of mobility especially for longer distances. For others, devices can simply make riding easier and more comfortable.
Elves bond strongly with their horses and there are those who will spend weeks to years ensuring that the devices built will be worn comfortably by the horses and that their riders will in turn be aided by them.
These were first made in Beleriand for various injuries caused by war or accident or torture and predate the rising of the sun.
These are used in pretty much all elven populations that have horses; the Noldor, the Nandor and some Sindar of Eastern Beleriand, some populations of the Sindar in Hithlum and some Avarin groups. Obviously the devices differ from culture to culture. The Noldor use leather and metal, some of the Sindar in Hithlum might use metal or wood as well as leather, for the Nandor, Eastern Sindar and Avari, its mostly cloth, wood and leather.
Many are also aided beyond a physical level both by increased mobility and ability to travel as well as from their connections to their horse which often grow stronger from these projects.
@nelyoslegalteam has encouraged me to use Maedhros as an example! I discussed the nature of his injuries effecting mobility in the post linked at the top
Especially in the period of time between three months and one year following Maedhros’s rescue from Angband when he was starting to travel more and take on more responsibilities but was still very much recovering from his physical injuries, he had a saddle that had greater lower body support created by modifying the balance, as well as modified reigns that allowed Maedhros to steer with one hand. Modified stirrups also allowed him greater balance and ability to steer and allowed him to more comfortably ride with his legs in braces. It was made with leather and steel. The Noldor in general practice riding in different styles, sometimes using reigns and other supports and sometimes not.
(My general thoughts is that some elves use reigns, stirrups and saddle for most riders, some use only one and some use none. But most have at least some devices that can make riding more accessible for younger children or those who are injured or disabled even if in their culture elves generally do not use anything when riding)
Hounds
Hounds are kept by the Falathrim, by the Noldor, and by other Sindar and Avarin groups as well as human cultures. They are rare in Doriath but more common in Brethil where they are kept by the Haladin. They are primarily used for hunting but always considered companions and friends regardless of their primary role. Domestic hounds as we know them are rarely kept by the Nandor though other canine species are.
Hounds have also been trained to aid people who are injured or disabled. Canine companions for those with vision loss started in Northern Sindar cultures but became practice elsewhere, in both human and elven cultures. Typically these dogs will act as the eyes of their person, leading them away from obstacles, acting as support in balance and navigation especially for those whose vision loss is recent or accompanied by other injuries, and alerting them to nearby objects, people or creatures. Because elves who lose vision, whether through injuries related to war, torture, or other causes, often rely heavily on hearing just as humans do, dogs who are trained to help them will often signal to their companion by changing in stance or sitting, letting the change in pressure and feeling being the signal rather than a bark. This often allows their companion more ability to detect their surroundings through their ears and other senses.
(On my posts about inhuman traits in elves I talked about additional senses including echolocation as well as the phenomenon of elves experiencing vision loss from snow! I’m going to talk about that more later too!)
Dogs are also used to assist with other tasks such as fetching objects, navigating difficult terrain, raising alarms or alerts or acting as guards, detecting certain materials, and more. Naturally, these can be still more helpful to people who are disabled.
For someone with mobility issues or chronic pain, having a hound trained to fetch objects or even bring messages to those nearby can be extremely beneficial.
And of course the emotional aspect is vital too! Non judgmental, familiar creatures can be extremely comforting and it is the combination of this and the added autonomy and freedom that service dogs can offer that can make them so beneficial
(I have some ideas about diversity in dogs and horses of Valinor and Beleriand that I'll elaborate on later but in short I think there is selective breeding and some diversity in breeds though not to the extent of today.)
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I wanna preface this by saying I am a very casual Batman fan and I haven't read really any comics. Most of my knowledge of Batman and the Batfamily comes from social media and comic Tik Tok, so I am by no means an expert.
That being said, I feel like I picked a really good time to be a Batman fan because it seems like Batman has been having Batfamily recovery period for the past couple of years. I heard someone call it a 'good dad Bruce renaissance' which I can agree with seeing what he's said and done in past issues. Though, comics are hard to have a consistent character due to multiple writers.
But what I've noticed is that there has been a shift in the recent Batman stories that focus on recovering from the trauma that entire family has faced for over a decade. To me it really seems thst Batman has just been drenched in misery a lot and it's just tragedy after tragedy and miscommunication after miscommunication and complex after complex. So, it's nice that they seem to be in a new era.
I think an example of this is how Batman was largely represented in video games through the Arkham games which again, are drenched in misery (I've only played Asylum and City but those games are really bleak start to finish and it's more Batman than Bruce Wayne imo). Like, I don't even wanna play Arkham Knight bc I know the twist in that. They took the most fucked up, tragic thing that's happened in Batman and turned it into something even more fucked up and tragic and I honestly don't think I can bring myself to play it because of that.
But compare that to Gotham Knights (which people are devisive about but I enjoyed it) where the primary focus are characters, how Bruce affected them, and Bruce Wayne as Bruce Wayne and not just Batman.
Idk if Wayne Family Adventures was the spark for this era or was just the beacon for it, but I enjoy the dynamic of them are really trying to make things work between them all even if they don't fully understand each other rather them just constantly turn against each other.
Again, these are just my opinions about the direction I've seen Batfamily comics going in and I enjoy the healing era instead of character backpedaling (though I'm sure it will happen again at some point). So, if anything I said is slightly off base, it's because I'm not the most well informed in the 50+ years of Batman comics, but I hope others feel similarly.
#batman#bruce wayne#robin#dick grayson#Nightwing#jason todd#red hood#tim drake#damian wayne#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#barbara gordon#batgirl
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Keith Windham’s Uniform: A Long and Highly Speculative Deep Dive into the Royal Scots’ Uniform in 1745
This is something I’ve wanted to research for a while—uniformology tends to be my favorite aspect of military life, so naturally, provided with a redcoat officer protagonist who quickly stole my heart as a character, I wanted to be able to do his uniform justice in my depictions of him. Let me first start by saying that there is no shortage of excellent art in this fandom, and furthermore, most of the uniforms I have seen depicted in said art actually seem quite well-researched and accurate, especially given the limited information available. I by no means pretend to be an expert on this matter—I am much more familiar with late 18th century AWI era uniforms, and even then I am no scholar—but this time period in uniform history is surprisingly elusive, and I felt inclined to find out more by doing a bit of a (admittedly self-indulgent) deep dive. This will be a long post, intended to be something of a reference, largely for myself, detailing the specific appearance of our Major Windham’s uniform as best I can.
It must first be established, however, that information on this specific period of uniform is scant. My first “launching point” was this excellent post by Bantarleton discussing British uniforms during the Jacobite Rising (which I highly recommend checking out for more qualified Speculation), which also served to corroborate what I was already beginning to see in my research: between the years of 1742 and 1751, we lack any solid evidence as to what British uniforms may have looked like. The hypothetical image I am assembling here is based, therefore, largely on educated speculation, as are most of the modern depictions of uniforms during this time period. Take all of this with a grain of salt, as you would any other historical post by a user on Tumblr, and bear in mind once again that I am not a scholar. But with that being said, we can begin in the closest place that we do have visual evidence: in 1742.
It was during this year that the Cloathing Book was commissioned by the Duke of Cumberland for King George II, which depicts the regular soldier’s regimental uniform across the military. Here we take a look at the 1st Royal Regiment (Royal Scots, though they would not be officially called that until the 19th century) uniform, which our Keith presumably would have worn some three years prior to canon, though assumedly not as a regular, which this soldier is.
Our second concrete visual of the same regimental uniform comes from 1751, portrayed by David Morier, who was commissioned probably by the Duke of Cumberland to paint a grenadier from each regiment. Why grenadiers, we can’t know—maybe for their fancy caps—but the uniform is essentially the same as would be the regular’s, with the exception of the cap (interestingly, I discovered the flanking company “wings” would be introduced only in 1752). The officers and the battalion men would all have been wearing cocked hats similar to the one portrayed in the previous photo.
Comparing the two, we see some changes in the silhouette and the smallclothes (in 1751 the breeches change to be blue instead of red), but nothing too drastic. I for one hadn’t realized that the Royal Scots would have been wearing red smallclothes during the mid century, as opposed to the white or buff. The one thing which does confuse me is the lack of lacing on the cuffs in 1742. Take this example, from the same collection, of a soldier from the 34th Regiment—notice the split cuffs and their elaborate lacing.
The artist seems to have been very deliberate in his depiction of the 1st’s uniform to include full cuffs without that extra lacing. Unfortunately I can’t seem to corroborate whether this was intentional or not, but my best guess is that it might have been a deliberate sign of the 1st Royals’ seniority: most regiments (like the 34th seen here) wore their own specific patterned lace, but the Royal Scots (at least during the mid 18th century) specifically wore plain white lace as a nod to the fact that they were the first and oldest regiment established in the British Army. It seems not impossible that this simpler cuff design might have been intended to convey the same sentiment. However, I can‘t say for sure whether this was the cuff in use during 1745, unfortunately. I would lean more toward the 1742 uniform for Keith’s just because it’s closer time-wise, but given that new uniforms were issued every year, it’s impossible to truly know how similar it would have been.
All that being said, it is important to acknowledge that we have been discussing regular soldiers up until this point: our Major Windham’s uniform would have borne some distinctions. This is a modern (so once again, speculative) illustration of an officer of the 7th Dragoon Guards in 1745, who, while not being an infantry soldier, would still have had a comparable uniform at the officers’ level, and provides a pretty good example of what some of these officers' distinctions might have looked like.
With regard to lace, officers’ uniforms of the 1st Royals were faced with gold lace as opposed to white, including on the hat. As mentioned before, as an officer, Keith would have been wearing a cocked hat with a black cockade on the left side, unlike the grenadier in the previous painting. While on duty, it seems likely that he would have worn a gilt gorget, though in a broader kind of half-moon shape than would be seen at the end of the century, and a sash, over his shoulder and the rest of his uniform rather than around his waist. He also would not have worn the crossbelts we see the regular soldiers wearing, and instead probably only a waist belt to hold his sword. Another important distinction would have been the gold aiguillette, a decorative knot to denote rank, rather than an epaulette like we see in the later century, on his right soldier, like the one on the dragoon officer’s shoulder here. An interesting but subtle detail would have been the fact that officers’ coats generally did not have the turned-back skirts associated with regular soldiers; the idea was that those soldiers would be moving around a lot more than the officers and therefore would need the extra room.
Another thing not specific to being an officer, but simply which differs from the paintings here, is that while on duty all soldiers (officers included) would have been wearing black gaiters, and not white. While, in my opinion, they do look fantastic (especially the full length mid century ones, unlike the late century half-gaiters…), white gaiters were reserved for parade because of how easily they could get dirty. While I’m here I suppose it’s worth listing off a couple general period details I often tend to forget about the mid-18th century, as someone who mentally lives in the 1770s: for one thing, military cocked hats were almost always worn slightly off to the side with the “point” angled over the left eye (you can kind of see it in the 1742 depiction). This was so that men could shoulder their firelocks without knocking their hats right off their head, and it became so much of a fashion that not only were officers (who were not bearing muskets) doing it, too, but also some civilians (and this lasted for a long time, pretty much until the army stopped wearing cocked hats). Also, it didn’t occur to me until recently that cravats were much more in fashion than stocks were during this period, and would have been tucked into a waistcoat that might have been even nearly half unbuttoned from the top, as was the fashion at the time.
But now I’m just rambling. I had fun learning about this and if someone else learns from it too, that’s just a bonus to me. Again, I'm not an expert; this is in no way meant to “correct” any of the depictions of Keith I’ve seen, or come off at all as being in bad faith. Almost everything I’ve said in this post is stuff I wasn't sure of myself until looking into, because this kind of thing is hard to know! As I said, most of the Keiths I see actually seem very well-researched and faithfully depicted. I just happen to love uniforms, and this man happens to have one (and a very good one at that). I would lean most heavily toward the 1742 version for Keith’s canon uniform if only because it’s closer in time to anything else we have, but who can really say what it looked like in real life? Some part of me is saddened to know we’ll likely never know, but thus is history. Hopefully knowing all this I’ll be able to do it some justice.
#wooooof.... long post#at some point hopefully i'll just like. draw it. but not today it's 2am#really interesting to look into though#one thing about me is I Love Uniforms#anyway#18thc#uniforms#flight of the heron#the flight of the heron#foth#keith windham#reference#jacobite rising#long post#redcoatposting#this is your captain speaking#haul up your queuegarnets#the captain's lectures
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Do you mind sharing your weight loss tips? I’ve been struggling to try to lose weight
i am no expert whatsoever but what’s working for me personally is walking/jogging everyday, getting 7-8 hours of sleep a night if i can, eating smaller portions, upping my protein intake so i’m more satiated after meals (i try to eat at least 100g of protein a day, or 30+ grams a meal), and eating less sugar (meaning foods with added/processed sugar). i still have sugar when i want but i don’t go overboard like i used to.
i go for a three mile walk everyday if i can, which takes me about 50 minutes to an hour depending on how fast i’m walking. i’ve also been running periodically during my walks. nothing too intense, just a jog but it gets my heart rate up. if i don’t have time for 3 miles i just do 1 mile. as long as i get my body moving for at least 30 minutes a day i’m good. if you can’t go for walks outside and don’t have access to a treadmill i recommend growwithjo’s walking workouts, she has lots of fun indoor stuff you can do (and you don’t need any equipment either). her workouts have been the only ones i’ve actually enjoyed doing.
i also have an apple watch which helps me track my steps and workouts and that’s been huge for me, it motivates me to close my move ring every single day. any kind of fitness tracker will do. you can just use your phone to track your steps as well. i try to hit 10k steps a day.
the best thing for me was starting out slow. i told myself i would walk 30 minutes everyday for 20 days. when i proved to myself i could do that i then decided to add 30 more minutes to that and take an hour walk everyday. as far as food/drink consumption, i told myself that i would stop going out for coffee so much. now i only go once a week, if that. then i told myself i could eat the foods i wanted, just smaller portions, and i had to supplement more protein. little changes like that have been super helpful for me. i didn’t start all at once, i’ve been doing things gradually and it’s really been helpful. usually i just get overwhelmed every time i try to take control of my health but now i feel like i’m getting the hang of it little by little.
most importantly, be patient with yourself and your body. you might not see any results for a while but don’t give up. i tell myself even if i don’t lose weight, i’m still moving my body every day and that’s what’s most important.
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Hi, just out of curiousity, do you do readings through asks here? I do readings through tarot but only for myself and my friends but I do consider myself a beginner even though I've been doing it for years now. My "problem" is when I'm doing a reading for myself, it's not very clear what the cards are trying to tell me. I have had repeated cards that have come up over a period of time and once it manifested, they stopped showing up. How do you go about reading for yourself?
Thanks
Hello, thank you for the ask. I wouldn't call myself an expert of tarot by any means myself. Heck, I still use the little booklet that came with my deck (the Tarot Nova if you're interested in knowing) with notes I've made about each card and their meanings. However, one of my guides who is a deity named Hermes did an "exercise" with me going over what each of the type of the suits and numbers mean to establish patterns, as well as who and what each major arcana card represents. Yes, I said who because it turns out each major arcana card represent a deity or deities; I've seen some Etsy sellers "selling" readings using tarot cards to tell clients "who their deity is".
As far as doing readings for other people via asks, I am open to doing so as long as they are open to receiving my messages be it for better or for worse. I am not someone who believes in telling people just what they want to hear, I believe in telling people the truth no matter how hard it may be for them to hear it. Because of this attitude I have, I feel confident that I can give myself readings without misleading myself into seeing what I want to see in tarot readings instead of what they are actually saying. Do take this into consideration when you are giving yourself and even other people when you are giving tarot readings.
With repeating themes occurring and then after manifesting they shop showing tidbit you mentioned... What I've learned about signs that keep appearing to us is that as soon as the person receiving the signs understands what they mean they will no longer see those signs. In other words, when they've arrived at the destination/understanding of where they signs were pointing to is when they will stop seeing the signs. You're going to keep seeing road signs going to a specific city when you're headed in the right direction. The signs will appear more and more frequently the closer you get to your destination. Once you get to your said destination, you're not going to see those same signs telling you how to get there anymore because you're there now. Same thing goes with recurring themes and "signs" that keep appearing in our lives. Once you've arrived at the understanding, person, or location these signs were pointing you to, you will stop seeing those signs.
Now, onto your question on how to better understand tarot cards and readings...
Trying to understand the tarot cards in a "memorize the meaning of this one at a time" or in what I call a more piecemeal type of fashion I found to be a big reason why I got stuck with trying to understand tarot. When I do tarot readings these days, I always use my pendulum with a printed ABC chart to speak with my guides. Curiously so, my guides (most of whom are deities) do not like 3 card readings but love the 7 card spread (3 up top, 1 in the middle, 3 on bottom). They have told me that the past, present and future type of layouts are 100% BS.
From my understanding of tarot cards, the suits correspond to what aspect of our lives a situation is impacting the most (love and relationships, finances, decisions to make, our direction and drive in life, etc.). The numbers represent the type of situation at hand, or what about a specific situation happening is going good or bad. Some blog sites claim that the numerology aspect of the minor arcana cards isn't quite as impactful as the suits but that they can be helpful in providing more dimension in readings and if there's something manifesting in multiple aspects of our lives. I wholeheartedly disagree, as I believe that the numbers are just as meaningful as the suits.
Some readers believe whether a card is upside up or upside down is impactful. I completely disagree with this because if the reader and possibly person receiving the reading switched spots with whom I am giving the reading, then by this logic the meaning of the cards changes. Honestly, this approach in my opinion puts too much emphasis on the physical position of the cards and not necessarily what the cards are actually saying. This ties into why my deity guides do not care for the past, present, and future type readings that are very common to give. Heck, they even told me to ignore the spreads online that talk about what each position of each card supposedly means. Focus more on what the cards are really saying and not so much on the physical placement of the cards. The point I'm conveying here is to stop focusing on the physical aspect of the readings such as card placement and upright/downward position, and look at the actual meanings of the cards.
To keep this answer from becoming a novel, I picked these links because they provide more bullet point summarized meanings for the cards, so you and other readers can be guided into forming their own "pattern of understanding" regarding tarot cards. FYI, my deity guides gave me very different affiliations with tarot cards than in the link I provided below and on other sites I've seen on this same topic. Your best bet in getting better readings with the deities approach is to know who your deity guides are and what their roles and affiliations are, so you know who is speaking to you through the tarot.
Numerology in Tarot Meanings
Tarot suits and numbers in a nutshell
Major arcana overview
Tarot cards and deities
Bottom line is, assuming your guides are speaking to you through your tarot deck (if not, then you should cleanse your deck), they will establish what they are saying to you through the tarot. It is up to you to determine what the cards are telling you individually, as everyone has unique experiences and patterns of thoughts and feelings that determine how they interpret what to take away from the knowledge they gain in this lifetime, be it through tarot or otherwise.
#divination#god's plan#akashic records#supernatural#deities#tarot#psychic readings#seers#psychics#spirit guides
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