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kaiisenn · 3 years

Text

Regular school Au

Noritoshi Kamo is a teacehrs pet, listening to everything the teachers say and following their every command. He was annoying to say the least, reminding the teachers of yesterday nights homework and asking "is that all?" When the class gets a little amount of homework.

"Woah! Y/n , nice one! " Yuji yelled out after your homerun after you returned back to home. You were apart of the joint baseball team in school, since a lot of kids didnt want to join they had to combine the girls team and the boys team. "Thanks Yu, I didnt want to get striked" Yuji nodding his head looks, he turns to look slightly behind you to see Noritoshi coming up to the two of you. "L/n, I have to speak to you for a moment!" Noritoshi speaks out with confidence "Hah? We're in the middle of a game right now." You say putting your hands on your hips "It's fine, Y/n you just batted so it will be awhile for you to bat again and I'll fill in for you on field!" Yuji spoke up giving you a thumbs up and a dumb smile "Thank you, Itadori. L/n if you would come with me." Noritoshi finalized leading you away from the baseball field

Away from the field behind the gym, you against the wall with your arms crossed against your chest and Noritoshi infront of you, he spoke up breaking the thick air between you two "L/n you barely passed your last test, the teacher is concerned for your future grade and wanted me to tutor you. I was thinking we cou-" putting your hand up stopping him from continuing on "Hold up, Hold up! I never asked for your help and I dont need some teachers pet feeling the need to help me just cause the teacher asked you to." You told him voice strict "L/n I dont understand your retaliation, this would benefit you and if your grades begin to slip you might have to resign from the baseball team. Why not give it a try?" Noristoshi asked head tilting to the side, making him look like a confused puppy "Fine" saying the f longer than needed to show your disinterest.

After finishing your game and walking home to freshen up, you shoot Noritoshi a text giving him your address for the study session 'cant believe he made me give him my number, how annoying'.

Hearing the doorbell ring 30 minutes after the text was sent, you walked to open the front door, pulling the door to you revealing Noritoshi in a nice button up with black dress pants "where were you going to?" You asked looking him up and down wondering why the boy was wearing such a formal outfit "I'm going to tutor you." He said as a fact "well so duh, but what's up with the get up?" You asked pointing at his attire, he begins to blush moving his head to look anywhere besides you "I thought I would make a gold first impression... as a tutor" he spoke rigidly "nah it's fine, you can come as bummy as you want. I dont really care, your probably gonna be uncomfortable in those clothes, wanna borrow one of mine?" You asked leading him up the stairs to your room "are you sure? Your clothes might not fit me and o wouldnt want to ruin your clothes" he asked "it's fine, besides o usually have all my house clothes be a lot bigger so it fits me longer. I'm sure something of mine has to fit" opening up y e ur drawer you got a large tshirt and shorts out for him throwing it to him and giving him directions to the nearest bathroom.

When he came back he looked a little uncomfortable mentally but in those clothes he seemed a lot more relaxed "See I knew something would fit you, I mean you are pretty skinny" you told him while looking through your book bag for a textbook , after he sat down next to you the two of you began your study session.

After awhile you three you head back onto the side of your bed and made a loud groaning noise "Arrgghh! This is so boring, cant we take a break? Watch a movie, play some games, eat something! I mean we've been at this for three hours straight.." Noritoshi turned to you brows furrowed "it is important to learn the topic and know it in and out but I suppose a break wouldnt hurt." He said closing the text book and putting the cap on his pen "Ah! Thank you so much Toshi!" You said jumping from your spot to give him a hug, after a couple of seconds you removed yourself from him to go get some snack from downstairs.

While you were gone, Noritoshi put his hand over his heart trying to suppress the loud pounding, wondering if you could hear the way his heart beat out his chest for you. For awhile now the raven haired boy liked you, he would always state at you from afar while you would play your games with your team, watching in astonishment as you would run back to home base with the confidence of a Queen. God how he loved your stubbornness, and your aggressiveness when you came up to someones bully to tell them off, but he also loved your soft side how you would shy away from embarrassment when you answer would be slightly off in math, he wanted to shield you from outsiders eyes and only keep that side of you for him. He loved every part of you, but he knew he would never get the chance to be close with you so when the teacher asked him if he could tutor you, he jumped on the opportunity without hesitation.

"Hey Toshi, I'm not sure what you would like so I made some popcorn and got a couple of snacks and candies for us to eat. Also I brought some games up, I got Mario Cart, COD, Minecraft, and a couple of others in my back pocket" you informed putting all the snacks on the small coffee table you had in your room "Which one do you wanna play" you asked holding up the different games to his face like a fortune teller telling their client to pick a card "I'll try Mario Cart" he answered "Good choice!" You put the disk in and waiting for the game to load you got the rest set up giving him a controller and popping a swedish fish into your mouth.

"Booyah! You just got yoshi'd, toshi! That's 3 for me and 0 for you my friend." You teased elbowing his side "Why dont we make a bet, whoever's wins has to do what the other person wants" you offered him, Noritoshi lighting up at your offer nodded his head and got serious changing his character to princess peach.

After a long and grueling round, Noritoshi was pronounced the winner "Alright you got lucky that round but ne-" you were suddenly shut off by Noritoshis lips colliding with yours! After getting over the initial shock you began kissing back putting the controller down and wrapping your arms around his neck tangling your hands into the hair at the base of his neck. The kiss began to get more heated with Noritoshi pushing you down to the floor and asking for permission into your mouth, with new found access he got to work exploring your mouth with his tongue. But all good things must come to an end when you couldnt breathe you tapped his shoulder twice and he hesitantly pulled away from your lips. "W-Wow, I didnt think you would be so straight foward" you huffed out trying to catch your breath "god I've been wanting to do that forever" he revealed dropping his head to make home in the crook of your neck "is this a confession I smell?" You teased stroking the back of his head with your right hand while your left was drawing shaped onto his back. "God Y/n you have no idea how obsessed I am with you. Everything you do has me going crazy" he breathed out "I could kinda tell, you would always stare at me from across the classroom. Although I also have a crush on you, I didnt think I would have a chance i mean you're so nice, gentle and caring and even though you kinda annoy me when you remind the teacher of homework I could never be mad at you. You're too cute to ever be mad at, like a otter or a big cuddly dog." You laugh kissing his neck

"You mean it? You really like me too?" He asked pulling his head away from your neck "Of course I do" you say bringing his face closer to yours for another kiss, after awhile you two broke away not getting too far from each other though "Wanna make a bet? Who ever wins gets to choose where we go for our next date." You spoke against his lips slightly kissing the bottom "You're gonna lose then dear" he said quickly getting up to grab his controller "No, you're gonna lose!"

Omfg I'm so in love with him ahh Noeitoshi supremacy!!!

-Kaii

#noritoshi kamo x reader #jjk noritoshi #noritoshi x reader #jujutsu kaisen noritoshi #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jujutsu kaisen itadori #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk headcanons #jjk anime #jjk x reader #anime x reader #x reader

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nebylitsa · 3 years

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extremely unprofessional reviews of dracula adaptations ft. my overdramatic commentary

hello and welcome to my 100% Scientific Evaluation of Various Dracula Films! my credentials are that i recently read the novel and am now firmly in the clutches of a vampire obsession, have too much free time, and never grew out of my goth phase.

ill be rating each adaptation (using a completely arbitrary and subjective 10-point scale) on how faithful it is to the book, how gothic it is in terms of aesthetics, and how much i personally liked it overall. ill also be rating - and this is crucial - how hot each film’s version of count dracula is, because im gay and i have a crush on him.

spoilers ahead.

Nosferatu (1922), dir. F. W. Murnau, with Max Schreck as Count Orlok

sir thats my emotional support weimar-era silent horror film!!! really good in an artsy, fine-wine kind of way. the gothic aesthetic is off the charts, but in a subtle, minimalist way that actually enhances the creepiness; the choice to set the movie in the 1830s also helps, as its further removed from modernity and brings to mind associations with early gothic/romantic fiction. i loved thomas hutter, ellen, count orlok, and the captain, but i kinda wish professor bulwer had more screen time. makes me want to get into other silent movies and become a full-blown pretentious film snob. (also, watching a movie about a plague that brings society to a standstill sure hits different in the early 2020s!)

faithfulness to the book: 1/10 gothness: 10/10 dracula hotness: 0/10 (while orlok may not be hot he IS a tall scuttling creature who lugs his coffin around like a surfboard and i think thats very valid of him) overall: 10/10

commentary:

thomas hutter is a HIMBO (“im going away to the land of thieves and phantoms :^D”)

love how orlok says its midnight when the scene was clearly filmed in broad daylight

THE SKELETON CLOCK!!! orlok has good taste in interior decor ill give him that

the fact that orlok wants to move to the picturesque little postcard town of wisborg rather than a large city reminiscent of london is oddly hilarious… hes just an old man who wants to buy a nice little home to spend his retirement in uwu

orlok calling thomas “my lovely man” !!!

1830s costuming surprisingly good

the cinematography in this film is gorgeous - the venus flytrap, the ship sailing on the sea, the windswept beach...

there he goes, scuttling through town with his coffin in tow!!! thats my creepy boy!!!

ellen hutter = goth icon (and the most capable character in this entire film)

omg when the shadow of orlok’s hand “grabs” ellen’s heart... thats so twisted i love it

the way thomas holds ellen in his arms as she dies :’^( </3

looking back after watching the other movies on this list, thomas hutter is probably my favorite version of jonathan harker. hes so happy-go-lucky and its such a contrast to the horrible spookiness of the film that you cant help but feel bad for him :’^( leave this cute uwu man alone!!! hes trying His Best!!!

* * * * * * * * * *

Dracula (1931), dir. Tod Browning, with Bela Lugosi as Count Dracula

my favorite thing about this isnt even in the movie itself: its the fact that it was advertised as “the story of the strangest passion the world has ever known” and released on valentine’s day 1931. in terms of the actual film, though, the aesthetic was impeccable, dracula and renfield were AMAZING, and van helsing was very cool. everyone else wasnt as engaging, however, and the ending was a bit abrupt and anticlimactic. i would be perfectly happy watching an entire movie consisting only of frye’s renfield and lugosi’s dracula having unhinged chaotic gay adventures. (i wanted to watch the spanish-language 1931 dracula too, but unfortunately i couldnt find it online anywhere… i will have to keep digging.)

faithfulness to the book: 4/10 gothness: 8/10 dracula hotness: 8/10 overall: 7/10

commentary:

renfield is adorable ;w;

rubber bats!!! on a string!!!

THE ARMADILLOS!!! THE OPOSSUM!!! THE VAMPIRE BEE WITH ITS VERY OWN TINY LITTLE COFFIN!!!!!!!!!!! lots of good animals in this movie

dracula gives off POWERFUL queer vibes

love how renfield just. faints after seeing a big bat

brides very spooky, wish they actually had some lines

OKAY HOMOEROTICISM… god the scene with the brides + when dracula bites renfield makes me feel indescribable feelings

SHIP SCENE EXTREMELY GOOD

the flower girl :’^(

“to die, to be really dead - that must be glorious. […] there are far worse things awaiting man than death.” ok this makes me feral - the undead secretly longing for true death!!!

lucy falling in love with dracula after one (1) weird conversation with him in a concert hall is the mood of the century

i like how drac hangs out with all the other mortal characters as if hes merely a normal aristocratic dude who likes classical music and just has a weird sleep schedule

i. love. renfield. also his [deranged laughter] gives me life

mina isn’t a smart cookie like she is in the book >:^(

“for one who has not lived even a single lifetime, you are a wise man, van helsing.” the LOOK dracula and van helsing give each other dear god

“god will not damn a lunatic’s soul” :’^(

“isn’t this a strange conversation for men who aren’t crazy?” god i love renfield

ok but the MORTAL RIVALRY between drac and van helsing… *chefs kiss*

* * * * * * * * * *

Horror of Dracula (1958), dir. Terence Fisher, with Christopher Lee as Dracula

vampires… in technicolor! christopher lee’s dracula didnt have a lot of screen time, but despite or probably because of that, i hung on to his every word (spoken in that impeccable british accent of his). peter cushing’s van helsing was wonderful - almost byronic, in a subtle kind of way. i wasnt as invested in the other characters, but the dynamic between arthur and van helsing was pretty cute, especially during the blood transfusion scene. i also wish the female characters were less one-dimensional. (i might watch the other hammer draculas later just to see more of lee and cushing.)

faithfulness to the book: 2/10 gothness: 6/10 dracula hotness: 7/10 overall: 5/10

commentary:

this version of castle dracula is so fancy and campy and not at all rotting or abandoned-looking, esp compared to the spiderweb-covered horror show of the 1931 castle omfg... drac has expensive taste

i want dracula and the vampire lady with a bette page haircut to step on me

i love how theres a lil pillow in the dirt-filled coffin

VAMPIRE JONATHAN!!!

vampires are “allergic” to light??? thats one way to describe it i guess. damn if only drac had brought his epipen with him in the last scene

vampirism described as a “contagion” that can reach “advanced stages,” as something that “the victims detest” but “are unable to relinquish,” compared to drug addiction (and reminiscent of the self-hating attitude of people with internalized homophobia?)... INCHRESTING

ALSO vampirism is an “unspeakable evil”... hello???? “the love that dare not speak its name”????? GUYS????

i do like that at least SOMEONE (jonathan) keeps a diary in this one and that its being read is actually important to the plot. and that there is one (1) phonograph

mina is kinda hot. sure wish she actually had any agency or personality in this movie

tanya is so cute!! the bit where van helsing comforts her and gives her his coat was adorable ;n;

the way dracula kisses and THEN bites mina… OK HORNY 1950S MOVIE

dracula literally moved into the holmwoods’ BASEMENT???

dracula and van helsing both have a tendency to leap flamboyantly over furniture

AND THE AWARD FOR MOST COMICAL GRAVEDIGGING GOES TO…

oh my GOD the homoerotic fight scene… the disheveled hair… the CHOKING… jesus christ im dead gfhkjshgjfkdghfjdkfds

* * * * * * * * * *

Dracula (1973), dir. Dan Curtis, with Jack Palance as Dracula

kind of an awkward snoozefest; the drama fell flat and i was uncomfortable the whole time. the female characters’ storylines were cut down way too much, and none of the other characters or the dynamics between them were all that well developed either. its interesting that the first (i think?) adaptation to have the reincarnation thing made it about lucy rather than mina, but they really shouldve developed it more. just like in the book, dracula doesnt even have any dialogue with lucy, but if youre gonna have him be in love with her it makes no sense! arent you at least gonna say hi to your long-lost reincarnated wife, dude??? the thing about this adaptation is that its bad, but not in a memorable way - if it were weirder or crazier in its badness i wouldve given it a higher rating.

faithfulness to the book: 3/10 gothness: 5/10 dracula hotness: 2/10 overall: 1/10

commentary:

why are these hungarians speaking russian. lmao @ anglophones who cant tell the difference

castle dracula is kinda nice and cozy in this movie... theres lil knick knacks on the shelves

jonathan is exploring the abandoned, spiderwebby, spooky part of the castle and the FIRST thing he reaches for is a wine bottle. you dont know whats in there dude!!! i was half-expecting it to contain blood but unfortunately i was disappointed

not the extremely unmedieval looking portrait of vlad tepes…

drac gently carrying jonathan to bed, undressing him, and folding his clothes in the novel > drac unceremoniously flinging jonathan to the floor in this adaptation

the costumes are 1840s aesthetics heavily filtered through 1970s tastes

everybody is day drinking in this movie

arthur is kind of a gender mood

*kate bush voice* arthuuuuuuur its meeee your lucyyyy ive come hooooome im so coooooold let me in-a your windoooooow

dracula is constantly just like (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

not vampire jonathan attacking van helsing!!!

the inherent homoeroticism of slowly impaling a vampire as the sunlight streams in through the windows of his dilapidated castle

* * * * * * * * * *

Count Dracula (1977), dir. Philip Saville, with Louis Jourdan as Dracula

delicious!!! FINALLY some good fucking food!!! this is as close to the platonic ideal of the dracula adaptation as you can get, i think. its very faithful to the book, most of the characters are awesome and well-developed, the female characters are treated with respect... and dracula is hot but in a slightly weird way. i feel so SPOILED like what more could you want??? there were very few things about this that i disliked; the production quality looks and feels somewhat outdated but the gothic aesthetic still holds up pretty well, and the special effects are distracting when they do appear but not enough to impact the viewing experience very much. maybe if there were more adaptations that were actually faithful to the book, this version wouldnt be as memorable, but itd still be a Very Solid Dracula Movie.

faithfulness to the book: 9/10 (i really want to give it a perfect score because the ways in which it departs from the novel are pretty minor, and i dont expect an adaptation to include literally everything, but i wouldve liked all three suitors to be there, or at least for arthur to have been cut out entirely and not oddly merged with quincey) gothness: 7/10 dracula hotness: 7/10 overall: 9/10

commentary:

mina says shes practicing shorthand!! yes!!

jonathan is so freaking uwu

glad they didnt leave out the detail that drac has hairy palms

the shaving scene???? the way dracula taps the mirror??? hes so… coquettish??? mark me down as scared AND horny

i am so CHARMED by this french dracula. outwardly he isnt super handsome but hes just so disarmingly suave and his voice is velvety soft like a freaking asmr video

oh my gosh mina and lucy are so cute

the brides = yandere queens

theres my baby renfield!!! oh my god i missed him so much

THE SHOVEL! HIT HIM WITH THE SHOVEL!

mr swales is the real star of the show!!!

not quincey’s terrible american accent

the manacles on the wall of renfield’s cell :’^(

FINALLY a properly eccentric and endearing van helsing!!! i love him already oh my god

dracula gently petting renfield and him leaning into it and moaning? gay. (also god i wish that were me)

van helsing not knowing the word for doorjamb is so cute and in-character

oh my god almost-vampire lucy is disturbing. i like that they made this scene almost exactly the way its in the book

mina crying over lucy :’’’’’^(

vampire lucy!!! she is frightening and i love her

good dynamic between the crew of light - they actually care about each other!

renfield reciting poetry ;n;

van helsing making hot cocoa for the others <3

“i feel we understand each other” (mina to renfield) omg ;_;

oh my goddddddddd the mina + renfield scene, the little (platonic) kiss... i cant ;_;

the way the camera distances itself from renfield and doesnt show any closeups of him (except through the bars of a window or cage) until the scene with mina… the transformative power of love and understanding, guys ;_;

seward’s phonograph diary!!!

th-the mina bloodsucking scene… its so creepy but so Soft???

mina in her white nightgown covered in blood gasping unclean!!! is unbelievably goth and i love it

me watching dracula playing devils advocate with jonathan and van helsing like “no no, hes got a point”

jonathan shooting at dracula like the himbo he is

“you must be pitiful to him - just as someday you may have to be pitiful to me” im so glad they included this line; its so haunting

i can confidently say that i would die for this van helsing. like, this IS van helsing. accept no substitutes!!!

HIT ‘EM WITH THAT CRACK SHOT MINA!!!

hell yeah spooky dracula death… and then you see that just his clothes are left. lmao

* * * * * * * * * *

Love at First Bite (1979), dir. Stan Dragoti, with George Hamilton as Dracula

yes i KNOW this isnt Really an adaptation of the novel at all but its my sleepover and i get to choose the movies. like, vampirism and disco music! it truly does not get any better than this! definitely not All of the jokes are good - many are dated and uncomfortable - so its best to ignore them. nonetheless, this is… oddly the most feminist dracula movie ive ever seen. drac himself is kind of a creeper but his romance with cindy is consensual from the very beginning, and when she makes the choice to become a vampire she isnt under any mind control or anything. so basically a corny 1970s discotheque parody has one of the hottest draculas AND some of the best gender politics out of all the movies on this list. make of that what you will.

faithfulness to the book: N/A gothness: 0.5/10 (the wolf piano concerto and the blood bank robbery are the only reasons this rating isnt zero) dracula hotness: 8/10 (i first watched this years ago as a kid and hamilton’s dracula was one of my first crushes. i remember being so obsessed with him without knowing why, but now? now i know.) overall: 7/10

commentary:

if you havent played the piano to the sound of wolves howling outside are you even really goth

i kin this renfield hes so fucking gay and stupid

dracula reads fashion magazines. queer icon

the way drac canonically had an affair with mme de montespan in the 17th century... i know this movie was made in 1979, a full 20 years before i was born, but this line feels like it was specifically tailored to my sense of humor

“your cockroach-eating friend” excuse me thats his boyfriend

“without me transylvania will be as exciting as bucharest on a monday night” omfg

i love how theres a lil night light in draculas coffin

dracula and renfield share 1 brain cell that they are constantly passing between each other in a tug-of-war. drac usually wins because of his vampire super-strength but its still just The One Braincell so thats not saying much

“he might make you a colonel in the royal transylvanian army - that is, when the next free elections will be held”

ok homoerotic shoulder-rubbing

dracula is so cute when hes drunk ghjsfhjkds

dracula and renfield are SO married here its the best dynamic

every time drac does his eyebrow thing i get exponentially gayer

this is like if twilight were actually good

cindy is a mess and i love her

THE DANCING SCENE IM SO FUCKING GAY

i love how dracula, despite being centuries old and not knowing anything about the modern world, can still use his vampire magic on technology like phones and stereos

“oh thats so kinky are you biting me” GIRL ME TOO

GFUISGFUIREVBRIUEGR THE STAR OF DAVID. ME KIN SELF ID

the sexual tension between drac and rosenberg is off the freaking charts

“a freudian wouldnt do this! a jungian would do this! a reichian would do this! but im a freudian! ...but im also a van helsing!”

the blood bank robbery scene = PEAK COMEDY. “only in america! [...] its like a supermarket!”

i love rosenberg hes so unhinged

if shes your girl why am i making out with her in an elevator shaft

rosenberg and ferguson = best friends forever

* * * * * * * * * *

Dracula (1979), dir. John Badham, with Frank Langella as Dracula

must an adaptation be “faithful”? is it not enough to swoon over a romantic vampire film??? this movie has one of the best aesthetics ive ever seen - the storm at sea! the myriad candles illuminating all the spiderwebs in carfax abbey! mina in a white nightgown in the rain running through a graveyard toward a shipwreck! it doesnt get much more gothic than this!! olivier’s van helsing is great and langella’s dracula is pure Boyfriend Material. unfortunately most of the other characters (especially jonathan, oh dear) arent sympathetic enough, which is disappointing. while mina and lucy are both the beautiful semi-feminist queens of my heart, theyre inexplicably role-swapped here and have inaccurate versions of each others personalities. needs more respect women juice, although i do like that the lucy/dracula romance is consensual.

faithfulness to the book: 3/10 gothness: 9/10 dracula hotness: 8/10 overall: 7/10

commentary:

me: *trying to parse the russian that the sailors are shouting to see if it makes sense*

OK ROMANTIC HAND TOUCH

oh to be a spirited victorian lady rescuing a vampire from a shipwreck

oh to be hypnotized by a honey-voiced vampire

OH TO DANCE A WALTZ WITH - ok you know the drill

why jonathan is mean to lucy >:^(

that oddly graceful wall crawling… go you sexy lizard man go

not to Romanticize Bad Behavior but i would let this dracula break into my room at night in a heartbeat (although… having him literally just break in, instead of having to be invited in, makes this look WAY WORSE than in the book. and thats really saying something. all horny jokes aside im not a fan of this bit tbh)

GRAPHIC BUG-EATING NOOOO >_<

why are seward and jonathan not sympathetic at all >:^( i really like lucy though <3

the SPIDERWEBS… dracula really needs to invest in a feather duster

jonathan looking around carfax abbey: damn bitch you live like this?

damn the asylum is brutal :^(

oh they absolutely BUTCHERED jonathan’s character i hate it

fuck everybody else i respect LUCY!!! also im a little bit in love with her

LAURENCE OLIVIER!!! THERE HE IS!!! MY MAN!!!

talk dirty to me in romanian…

oh my god poor annie :’’’’’^(

the kiss oh my god im so gay im so gay IM SO G-

dracula riding horseback is hot but oddly undraculic

THE BILLOWING OPEN SHIRT YOEWFHDSK

this just in, folks: im gay

i did NOT expect vampire mina to be that scary

nooooo van helsing and mina :’’’’’^(

dracula’s hair gets fluffier with each scene

wish i could shout “sacrilege! SACRILEGE!!!” turn into a wolf and jump out the window to get out of situations i dont want to be in

dominatrix almost-vampire lucy is super hot

jonathan hating dracula out of genuine love for his wife in the book > jonathan hating dracula bc hes jealous of him in this adaptation -_-

ok jonathan and lucy have a cute lil moment. i am Placated slightly

aaand its ruined

lucyyyyy my love :’^(

renfield babyyyyyyyy :’^(

on all levels except physical i am the asylum attendant who just wants to drink his tea in peace (and fails spectacularly)

oh to be carried bridal-style though a forest by a byronic vampire

the freaking russian sailors gfsghfs “ЭЙ ТЫ СУКИН СЫН КУДА” “nosferatu!” “нос? какой нос?” (“hey you son of a bitch where are you going” “nosferatu!” “nose? what nose?”)

aw theyre sharing a coffin :3

VAN HELSING NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

noooo dracula :’^( </3 hes ok though. hes fine. its fine. this is fine.

* * * * * * * * * *

Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979), dir. Werner Herzog, with Klaus Kinski as Dracula

this is going to haunt my nightmares and i absolutely LOVE it. i know it isnt really a direct adaptation of the novel as its actually a remake of the 1922 nosferatu, but its dracula-adjacent so i still included it. anyway, not to sound like a film major but the cinematography? the atmosphere? the aesthetic? POETIC CINEMA. watching this felt like looking at a rare, beautiful gemstone. definitely the best part of the whole movie was isabelle adjani’s lucy - love is stored in the gothic heroine!!! just like in the 1922 nosferatu, the heroine is the most (actually the only) capable character, but in this version its even better bc jonathan is the one who languishes from an incapacitating illness and has to be protected by a holy circle, while lucy is the one whos like “i have to do everything MYSELF around here” all while going through the fundamental female experience of not being believed by male authority figures. oh the Gender of it all… (i do want to add, however, that it was somewhat harder to enjoy the movie on its own terms after reading that animals were badly treated on set, and that kinski was Not A Great Guy.)

faithfulness to the book: 1/10 gothness: 10/10 dracula hotness: 5/10 (i like his voice, ok??? im a monsterfucker!!! dont judge me!!!) overall: 10/10

commentary:

bog bodies bog bodies bog bodies (or… 1830s cholera victims, according to wiki)

KITTENS <3

isabelle adjani is so lovely <3 i want to look like her ;w;

jonathan and lucy have a sweet dynamic - he doesnt really understand her, it seems, but he still loves and cares about her

love how jonathan just. steals a book

nothing scary has happened yet but im already freaked out by the ominous chanting

i cant tell whats creepier: silent 1922 nosferatu or actually hearing him TALK in this one

no. no. no this one is way creepier

Oh My God My Skin Is Crawling

jonathan: welp. this guys gonna be my neighbor now. forever. :^) this is fine :^) :^) :^)

jonathan! loves! his! wife! even when hes half-dead from a fever he can still only think of lucy and her safety! peak romance!

now THAT is a deranged laugh. i would die for this wild-haired purple-suit-wearing renfield

lil ratties i love you… :’^( im sorry you were so poorly treated by the humans making this film :’^(

THERE HE IS, CARRYING HIS COFFIN AROUND AGAIN IN BROAD MOONLIGHT. that really doesnt seem practical dude like youre gonna have to make like six trips but ok

lucy saying the line about waking to sanity in straightjackets <3

dracula casting a monstrous shadow but not being reflected in the mirror… POETIC FUCKING CINEMA also very scary

i really dig the fact that lucy can hold her own against dracula (because shes the only one as goth as he is)

lucy loves jonathan unconditionally!!!!! YES!!!

aw dracula just wants to be loved uwu

dracula confirmed for polyamorous and bi because he wants to “partake of the love” between lucy and jonathan! the queer vampire demon representation we need!

LUCY = NUMBER ONE BADASS. WE HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO STAN.

the weirdness of van helsing being the skeptic in this version???

jonathan not recognizing lucy </3 T_T

hell yeah a reference to “feast in the time of plague”!

not van helsing telling lucy to calm down before shes even said a word or reacted at all… men really are Like That

not jonathan betraying van helsing??? and never recognizing lucy again??? AND BECOMING THE NEXT NOSFERATU??? holy shit thats creepy

hey wait what happened to renfield... :^(

* * * * * * * * * *

Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992), dir. Francis Ford Coppola, with Gary Oldman as Dracula

The Only Movie Ever. i cant think objectively about it because every time the young, handsome, courtly, soft-spoken, long-haired, blue-sunglasses-wearing version of gary oldman’s dracula appears on screen i forget all human language, and also because the tragic vampire romance makes me feel absolutely feral and insane. in all seriousness though, the aesthetic was off the CHAIN, i liked all the characters (yes, even keanu reeves’s jonathan), and it was actually quite faithful to the book aside from the dracula/mina romance. however, the sexism toward the female characters (oversexualization of lucy, damsel-fication of mina) REALLY bothered me. needs WAY more respect women juice. also, im conflicted about the choice to have mina rather than quincey be the one to kill dracula. on one hand its Girl Power, its Peak Gothic Romance, its Tragically Beautiful etc etc, BUT on the other hand it kind of really cheapens quinceys death i think. (i mean, he gets a stab in, but he isnt the one to land the killing blow.) in the context of this film by itself of course, mina is really the only one who can kill dracula and have it be a satisfying conclusion, but in terms of the movie as a dracula adaptation im less sure about it.

faithfulness to the book: 7/10 gothness: 10/10 dracula hotness: 10/10 (although hes cute and not scary-looking only about half the time, the young version of him looks and sounds like he was concocted in a lab specifically to make me fall hopelessly in love with him - with a healthy dose of intense gender envy to boot. hence the perfect score. also even when he isnt handsome this is probably my favorite dracula - hes just so flamboyant and WEIRD) overall: 9/10

commentary:

15th century drac looks like he should be in a heavy metal band

this movie really said fuck the church!!!

5 minutes in and its already the most over-the-top gothic thing ive ever seen

keanu and winona are so smol and cute... and their english accents are so bad... i love them so much

jonathan arriving at castle dracula: i dont think were in kansas anymore…

hey thats dürer’s self portrait on the wall aint it

old dude drac is SO creepy i love it

jonathan: why 10 houses in such precise locations? are you trying to gentrify london or something

REALLY dont really like how sexualized lucy is >_>

“what is that?” “a texan!”

mina’s typewriter!!! seward’s phonograph!!! yeah baby thats the stuff!!!

i love creepy steampunk tom waits renfield

why are the asylum attendants walking around with their heads in cages like papageno from the magic flute

the SHAVING…. oh the intricate rituals

i dont even know what to say about the vampire brides scene. its so unhinged. REALLY feeling for jonathan rn

drac’s effeminate little hand gestures, long hair + robe, flamboyant laugh... queer icon

mina and lucy are so CUTE they should have a boston marriage

ooh the asylum design reminds me of piranesi’s etchings

drug addict seward :’^(

THAT scene in the garden is a BIG FUCKING NO from me. hate it hate it hate it

drac popping out of his crate with his tiddies out is a big YES however

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A MAN SO BEAUTIFUL YOU STARTED CRYING… HIS HAIR!!! HIS SUIT!!! HIS LIL SUNGLASSES!!!!!!!!! MARRY ME SIR!!!!

drac i love you but. please leave mina alone. >:^(

not lucy in her frill-necked lizard wedding dress!

can i marry quincey pls

“do not fear me” he says in the creepiest way imaginable AND THEN MANHANDLES HER??? pls stop

OCEANS! OF! TIME! BABY!!!!!!!!

cause of death: dracula whispering “he likes you” while mina’s petting the wolf

“there is much to be learned from beasts” >:3c

THE. HAND. KISS.

anthony hopkins as van helsing = Good. he seems like he probably does more drugs than seward and its honestly a Vibe

not holmwood busting in like dumbledore in my immortal gfsuifbdsfughdkfjs

oh my god. ohhh my god oh my god. dracula and mina are so romantic and Soft i CANNOT handle this i am YEARNING

GOD i wish i were dancing a romantic waltz with dracula in a candlelit chamber

jonathan baby i feel so bad for him :’’’^(

when lucy says “dont worry about spoiled little lucy” oh my god im gonna cry :’’’’’^(

“the devil’s concubine” me kin self id

EASTERN ORTHODOX GOTH DREAM WEDDING

vampire lucy is my QUEEN!!! I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!! <3 <3 <3

i want to give renfield a hug :’^(

if shes your girl why am i manifesting in her bedroom as a spooky green mist

there is no life in this body!! i am the monster that breathing men would kill!!! yes king!!!! i love you so much!!!! marry me!!!!

“i love you; oh god forgive me, i do; i want to be what you are, see what you see, love what you love” PEAK ROMANCE

“you are my love and my life always” THIS SCENE I CANTTTTTTTTTTTTT

oh my goddddddd the blood drinking

THIS IS REALLLLLLLY SOMETHING

“i love you too much to condemn you” SIR PLEASE GRSFGOSGDFGDFGDFGDFGD

right when im deep in that gay yearning drac turns into a horrific bat monster gfdgfdfdhdhgfhgdgd ok king

the rest of this scene is made a lot less enjoyable when you know what was going on behind the camera… thanks francis ford coppola you fucking dickhead

jonathan is such husband material babyyyyy <3 also he looks so good with gray hair

demoniac mina… queen <3

uH WAIT WHAT. NO. VAN HELSING STOP. why is this movie so damn sexist

“we’ve all become god’s madmen. all of us” thats so fucking metal i love it

true romance is weeping over your horrific vampire demon lover in an abandoned medieval church and then killing him

“our love is stronger than death” GOD!!!!!!

*BURSTS INTO TEARS TO THE SOUND OF “LOVE SONG FOR A VAMPIRE” BY ANNIE LENNOX*

* * * * * * * * * *

Dracula (2020), writ. Mark Gatiss and Steven Moffat, with Claes Bang as Dracula

why do moffat and gatiss always feel like theyre the coolest smartest bestest boys in the whole universe - better than arthur conan doyle, better than bram stoker, smarter than their audience, etc? they apparently said they wanted drac to be “the hero of his own story,” which is great but... its not JUST his story! i love him to bits and its good when adaptations give him more screentime than he gets in the book, but NOT when its at the expense of all the other characters. the series as a whole was very cynical and self-referential, which is fine in small doses, but it gets tiring after a while. many of the characters (dracula, sister agatha/zoe van helsing, jonathan before he becomes a zombie vampire, most of the passengers and crew on the ship) were awesome and the themes the show explored had a lot of potential, but overall the plot, characterization, and dialogue were messy and frequently infuriating. the most frustrating part is that claes bang and dolly wells are really talented actors! sometimes it can be hard to tell if someones a good actor with a moftiss script, bc its not that hard to just deliver punchy sarcastic quips, but in the show’s serious moments theyre both amazing. imagine if they starred in an adaptation of dracula that was Actually Good and had anything to do with the book. they were truly wasted on this. it was also a bit too gory for me, personally speaking, and most of all... not gay enough.

faithfulness to the book: 0/10 gothness: 8/10 dracula hotness: 10/10 (not to be gay but oh my god. jesus christ. holy fucking shit. god in heaven. oh my fucking god. the truest, most honest statement i can make about this dracula is “odi et amo” because hes so fuckin ANNOYING but at the same time so CHARMING and BEAUTIFUL. ugh!!! in spite of everything, i love this idiot) overall: 5/10

commentary: (episode 1)

jonathan baby you look terrible :’’’’’^(

an atheist nun? me kin self id

AAAAAAAAAH THE FLY IN THE EYE NO STOPST OPSTOSPT

DID YOU FUCK DRACULA MR HARKER?????

mina is... bi? >:3c

“perhaps stories flow in our veins if you know how to read them” (agatha) !!!

sister agatha is queer too? hell yeah

is vampirism… a metaphor for aids

i like that castle dracula is so labyrinthine

its so fucking weird and funny that dracula absorbed not only jonathans youth but also his… british accent???

aw jonathan is so brave and selfless :’^( i want to cry i feel so bad for him

vampires AND zombies damn shawty ok (vampires make people into zombies instead of more vampires?)

“the divine ability to die” ooooooh

oh my jesus christ drac is so handsome i cannot handle this i cant even LOOK at him im too gay for this

jonathan has amnesia? :’’’^(

TH-THE FACE TOUCH…

dracula: king of shameless gaslighting!

ok heavy-handed sherlock-style deduction

what is the point of all this. how do vampires work in this universe? are they zombies? what? how do you become a vampire vs becoming a zombie?

EVIL SCIENCE EXPERIMENT BABY

mad scientist dracula? thats pretty sexy actually

drac stole jonathan’s cape lmao

oh to be carried bridal-style up a winding staircase by a bisexual vampire…

oh god the sunlight thing... peak romance

“look for yourself” “but that would burn me to dust” “...good” JONATHAN I LOVE YOU

dracula’s smile………. im……. gay

jonathan didnt actually write a diary? but thats such an integral part of the story >:^(

i cannot fucking BELIEVE they really pulled a “he was DEAD the WHOLE TIME” trick in this episode. *ROLLS EYES*

so jonathan is a zombie but… not “yet” a vampire? so he can be in the sunlight and everything? how the fuck does any of this work. SIGH im never gonna get a satisfactory explanation am i

“you could be my finest bride. […] johnny, youre like me” thats so gay i love it

GET HIM JONATHAN!!!! KICK HIS ASS!!! WITH THE SUNLIGHT!!!!!

drac screaming in pain when the sunlight hits him is kinda... sexy

an atheist WITCH nun??? MA’AM IM IN LOVE WITH YOU

peak fucking romance is still loving your bf even after he becomes a zombie

ok so they just ruined jonathan and mina. ok. thanks.

i want 2 lick dracula’s hairy chest

okayyyy enough with the clever quips already this is so awkward and weird

stop it with the sexy snarling and hissing dude im already gay fgdshkgfdjksds

i really am in love with sister agatha

this is SO fuckin stupid. god, the things i do for dracula… *long-suffering sigh*

(episode 2)

shut the FUCK up moftiss

if i shouldnt get “too attached” to any of the other characters whats the POINT of telling me this story. like i get it, i get it! moffat and gatiss only care about showing their Cool Sexy Hero being Cooler and Sexier than everyone else, but… you guys do know dracula isnt JUST about the count himself right? oh wait i forgot, you ~*~*~*~cant bear a bad book~*~*~*

hey its my boy anderson from sherlock! he looks really handsome with a beard...

dr sharma is handsome too wow im gay

and i feel russian in this miniseries tonight

drac stop eating people to learn their language!!! just get a duolingo account!!!

if youve never played chess while drinking blood out of a wineglass are you even really goth

oh to be a cabin boy menaced by a sunglasses-wearing vampire

ok mirror of erised moment

oh to be fucking devoured by a charmingly creepy vampire on the deck of a ship

“i enjoy both the duchess and the deckhand” HELLO BISEXUALITY

this dialogue is so fuckin DUMB

i actually really like most of the passengers + crew (except lord ruthven hes a shitty little bitch). adisa, dr sharma and his deafmute daughter, the grand duchess, the sailors and captain and cabin boy - imagine an adaptation of dracula, one thats actually faithful to the book, where these are the characters in the chapter about the log of the demeter. that would be awesome! sure wish moftiss gave more of a shit about their own characters!

i would DIE for sister agatha

“dreary stalemate” is actually the perfect way to describe moftiss’s writing style lmao

why is everyone on this show so damn STOOPID

GET HIS ASS also the way dracula just yeets himself overboard is so fucking funny

hhhh god i have such a huge crush on captain sokolov hes so stoic and brave :’^( also he has a nice beard

NOOOO SOKOLOV NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :’’’’’’’^(

why must they cheapen every dramatic moment with some lameass sarcastic quip

dracula’s anti-religion spiel gives me life though. yes king its true and you should say it

enough with the fucking WITTY BANTER its so annoying

drac looks so beautiful with his hair and clothes all messed up

lolllll the dude who didnt want to “lie around in a box” for four weeks is gonna have to do it for the next CENTURY. and underwater at that!

welcome to the 21st century binch

(episode 3)

dracula watching the nature channel to look at the sun is funny but also poignant at the same time ;n;

dracula stop telling women to smile challenge fgsfhdisfds

drac being in awe of an average middle-class house is... oddly validating lmao

oh my god he looks so freaking good in a suit

not drac passing out in a puddle of his own puke ghfgsjdskdfs

not another quincey played by a british actor with a bad american accent

i am so bored. i dont like any of these characters and im not even supposed to bc moftiss dont give a shit about their own story and it keeps going and what is the POINT of any of this

also i hate how they write female characters. primarily moffat but gatiss isnt off the hook here either

ok the toilet bit is actually pretty funny

im getting flashbacks to sherlock series 4…

dracula being held in solitary confinement, experimented on, and threatened with sunlight is… kind of a sexy scenario >:3c

fuck u mark gatiss why do you have to be so funny and charming

the way zoe drinks drac’s blood sample like its a shot of vodka fghdsfgds

i fucking kin frank renfield hes the best part of this entire episode

DRAC TEXTS LIKE AN OLD MAN (which i guess he is after all)…. the all caps… the corny emojis…. i cant

also he looks so cute in casual clothes im so gay

i dont like how they ruined lucy’s character here but id still die for her bc lydia west is lovely and amazing

dracula’s such a sleazy fuckboi…. odi et amo!!!!

oh to hang out in a graveyard in the middle of the night with a handsome vampire

ZOMBIE CHILD… aw hes cute dont be scared of him ;w;

sister agatha is (sort of) back MY QUEEN <3

drac’s nearly half-unbuttoned shirt... ok whore

the way dolly wells seamlessly switches accents back and forth?? queen

none of this vampire lore makes any SENSE (which wouldve been fine if they didnt try to overexplain it)!!!

bluh bluh wah wah young women are vain so we’re gonna make it into a morality play about how Selfies Bad or something??

HERE COMES ZOE’S PETER CUSHING MOMENT

ive said it once and ive said it again: drac writhing on the floor, screaming and snarling in the sunlight, is Sexy

hmmm… dracula’s “rules of the beast” which arent even really true at all, but still affect him psychosomatically bc of his shame of being afraid of death and feeling unworthy of human society - a metaphor for internalized homophobia? (internalized vampirephobia?) *thinking emoji*

he is so Cute when he’s aghast at being psychoanalyzed and called out on his bullshit

THE COURAGE!!! IT TAKES!!! TO DIE!!!

THE FUCKING SHOT WITH HIM STANDING IN THE SUNLIGHT AND THE WINDOW PANE’S SHADOW FORMING A CROSS…. POETIC CINEMA

I Want To Give Him A Hug ;n;

hey baby let’s have sex on the surface of the sun

“after all this time, did you think i’d let it hurt?” STOP MAKING ME SAD ;_;

..................................ok that ending was Bullshit, just like everything else in this series, but i still got Emotional

and thats a wrap, folks! god i love dracula. and i love seeing different takes on him and on the story - in the words of eiko ishioka, the costume designer for the 1992 version, “dracula should have a million faces.” 🦇

#dracula #nosferatu #nosferatu 1922 #dracula 1931 #dracula 1958 #horror of dracula #dracula 1973 #dracula 1977 #dracula 1979 #love at first bite #nosferatu the vampyre #nosferatu phantom der nacht #nosferatu 1979 #dracula 1992 #bram stoker's dracula #dracula 2020 #bbc dracula #mp #ok to rb

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moons-and-stars-and-shit · 3 years

Note

OKAY SO-

can i get a platonic matchup pleaSeEeE?

okay, so- lets talk about myself sdsnfnenxnf

My name is Jei, I use she/they pronouns, I am 5’11” and I ABSOLUTELY AM THE AWKWARD TALL KIND OF PERSON (I wish I wasn’t tho-). I have short curly hair, (RANDOM THOUGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS, DO YOU EVEN NEED TO KNOW HOW I LOOK FOR A P L A T O N I C MATCHUP? weeeeelll i am already here so, lets just keep going ig) I am like b i g IDK BAHSHAHSHABS

As you can see I am a bit uH chaotic (it is a daily thing but iDK TODAY I AM JUST OVER THE TOP) I am an ambivert, I am an INFP, Aries sun, Cancer moon and Sagittarius rising sbdsndns

I uHhhHh- I am very awkward in first meetings but if we have something in common I’ll ramble about our common interest which almost always leads to me talking about other stuff.

I am a Marvel fan if that’s uUuuh- important? I LOVE UM GOOD OMENS BAHSHAHZHA, i dOnt even know what i am talking about anymore but lets keep going BABDBAHZHA

I have a B I G variety of music taste, from 40s big band songs to uhhhHh lets just say ppcocaine(???

I get distracted w a y too easily, I tend to get lost on time

I LOVE TO DRAW AND TO WRITE (but i never have time to finish so me is very m a d >:))

My best subject is english, english teachers always love me for some effing reason :D

My favorite colors are orange, green, coffee? (COFFEE IS A COLOR? I FORGOT OMFG) OH SHOOT WAIT I HAD TO SEARCH IT UP, IT IS CALLED BROWN BAHAAHHAHAHA I AM SO STUPID, beigeEs and blaCk >:)

yeah, i like dark academia buT in a like chaotic rebel way if it is possible???????

AM I MAKING ANY SENSE NOW???? i am sleep deprived so i don’t really knoW

I tend to see the good in people (yes that includes bad people too, sadly), I have troubles speaking for myself in situations where people are troubling me,,,

What elseeee????

I am lazy sometimes, I’ll admit it 😌☝🏽 and it gets on my nerves:D (i am working on it tho)

All my time is sucked by school, I am an overachiever and adbanxnajxjs i cry cuz school u know? <3

And I think that’s it?????

THANK YOUUU, HAVE A NICE DAY/NIGHT

@burntbayleaf IM SORRY BUT WE NEED TO BE FRIENDS

Also yes my Aries sister 😩

Platonic Matchup

Nishinoya Yuu

How Y’all Met

Aight

So you rolled up into school with a FIRE marvel t-shirt

And nishinoya being a marvel fan himself took IMMEDIATE notice

So what did he do

Approach you of course 🙄✋

However...

It was quite awkward at first 🥲

He really just went up to you and was like

“Oh you like marvel? What’s your favorite movie, or do you prefer the comics?, OH Have how ever seen...”

And he just went on and on and on

But when he realized he was rambling he apologized and asked you the first question again

Now it was your turn to ramble on and on about your interests

But honestly noya just rolled with it

Rooooooollliiiinnnng Thunnndaaaa

After you both were done with your rambling

He invited you over to his house for a #MarvelMarathon

And who tf were you to say no

So you pulled up to his house and started the marathon

In the middle of said marathons noya’s phone started to ring

And what was his ringtone?

Ppcocains PJ

And what did you do when you heard this?

Sang along ofc

And noya was just in shock

But after overcoming his shock he started singing with you

Yeah...he missed that call

But who gives af! Y’all are having a concert rn!

The day bled into night and he offered for you to stay the night

Not wanting to walk home in the dark you agreed

And oml the night was just filled with movies, mini concerts, and junk food 👀

Ever since that night you and him have been attached at the hip

What You Have In Common

Well obviously you both like Marvel

And ppcocain

But you both have a chaotic energy that mashes well with each other

You both have small attention spans/ get distracted very easily 😀

Istg conversations with you two are all over the place

One minute it’s this subject then two seconds later it’s a different subject

Fun fact: you made him watch good omens with you and now he’s obsessed

He says he has a deep emotional connection with Crowley ❤️

Favorite Things To Do Together

Good lord

Honestly if he could just recreate your first sleepover

Life would be perfect

Because THATS his favorite thing to do with you

Just bonding over common interests

Whether that be with music, movies, hobbies

Whatever

No matter what you two do it’s always a party

OTHER THAN BEING CRAZY THO

He actually really likes to have drawing competitions with you

Even though he always loses 🥲

You’ve offered to not make it a competition

But he says that’s what make it fun :)

Random Hc

Oh your his personal tutor

100%

He needs help with school

Screw the teachers

Screw the tutors

There is only ✨you✨

He has also volunteered you as a tutor for the team :D

without your knowledge....

You two have weekly movie nights

But lately he’s just been binging good omens with you

Speaking of Good Omens 👀

That is YOUR show

Like if one of you even watch ONE episode without the other

All hell breaks lose

Ok off topic Hc but people think your the equivalent of asahi 🥲

Astrology

Independent Aries and collaborative Libra form a funny sort of friendship.

Aries tries convincing Libra to take chances, shake off criticism, and be more direct.

Libra constantly tells Aries to slow down, smell the flowers, and be more appreciative.

It's an odd couple type of relationship that can work extremely well.

Aries can learn the fine art of diplomacy from Libra, while Libra may become more assertive thanks to Aries.

While the Aries and the Libra are opposing each other from an astrological point of view, they can still become friends very fast.

The Aries admires how the Libra is graceful, stylish and funny, while the other way around, the latter truly likes how determined to take part in new adventures and always courageous their friend is.

Of course, the friendship between these two will sometimes be challenging because the Aries can get hurt seeing the Libra is flighty, while the latter may not like the way the former is pushy.

However, these two can easily make up and neither of them likes to hold a grudge.

Aesthetic

Chaotic ⚡️👹💥

Songs-

PJ - Ppcocain

Tokyo Drift - Teriyaki Boyz

Won’t Bite - Doja cat

My Axe - Insane Clown Posse

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fandom #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu matchups #nishinoya #nishinoya yuu #noya #noya x reader #noya x y/n #nishinoya x y/n #nishinoya x reader

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #451

“taste the waste of their god’s grace & spit your hate upon your young”

Who are you subscribed to on YouTube? A shitload of people. Do you like to go to the farmer's market? Yeah, sure. What will (or was) the color of your wedding dress be? Probably black. What's your favorite melon? I don't really like melons, actually. What was the name of the last pet of yours that died? Teddy. :( When was the last time you wished the day would just get over with? Literally every day. Seriously. It's funny, I dread fighting to sleep at night, but I also just want it to be time to sleep so time will pass. My life is just so fucking boring that I just... wait for something exciting to happen. Name one person you've never had a fight with: Tez. What are you currently listening to? "Sex Metal Barbie" by In This Moment. What would you rather have: cat or dog? I prefer cats. Who is your least favorite person in real life? Probably my sister's husband. Do you ever watch anybody's live stream of... anything, really? I'll sometimes watch live let's plays. Does your house have security cameras? No. If you go grey as you age, would you dye your hair or let it be? I'll be dyeing it. What was the last establishment you stopped going to due to bad service? What happened? I'm not sure. What soundtrack do you listen to the most? Silent Hill 2's, definitely. Was there a family secret you weren’t told about until you were an adult? I don't know if it's really a secret, but I didn't know until this year that my dad did some really dangerous drugs before us kids were born. Do you have an opinion most people you meet seem to disagree with you? Yes. What’s something you like to have many options to choose from? Food, ha ha. Feels great to have a full kitchen after a grocery trip. What’s the strangest decorative object you own? Nothing "strange" to me. What’s a thing you couldn’t imagine doing with your life right now? One biggie is having a baby. I just... could not imagine. My life would plummet. What’s been your proudest moment? Graduating in the top percentile in my high school graduating class. What’s the filthiest non-pornographic movie you’ve seen? Omfg, Sausage Party. That movie was so gross. Do you know anyone who doesn't seem to be fond of animals? Thankfully, no. I don't even think I could befriend someone who doesn't like animals. Are you planning any outings or trips anytime soon? Whereabouts? No. Do you know anyone who has a phobia of a certain animal? Yeah, like me with whale sharks. Is there a particular brand of technology/electronics that you prefer? Not really, no. Is there a singer whose voice gives you goosebumps/chills? Amy Lee's. And is there a singer whose voice you simply can't stand? Yeah, such as Bob Dylan. Are there any authors that are particularly dominant on your bookshelf? Tui T. Sutherland, but only because I read their series Wings of Fire. Have you seen any photographs or videos that made you smile today? I'm sure on Facebook at some point. Which item in your fridge are you most looking forward to consuming? Does the freezer count? If so, this Healthy Choice grilled chicken pesto bowl I have in there. I am like addicted to them. Has anyone you know got into a new relationship lately? I don't know. If you menstruate, do you experience much PMS prior to it? It varies month-to-month. Have you ever had a tattoo covered up or added to? I had my Markiplier tattoo essentially redone by a better artist. I also plan on getting my "ohana" tat covered, as well as my "how rare and beautiful it is to even exist" one (I adore the quote, but it's not an original design, which I don't like having anymore), and I want to move and redesign my "perfectly flawed" one because I want a bigger tattoo in its location. Can you remember the last time you had a sudden change of mind? Yeah; I'm pretty sure I like-like my friend Girt now, something I was never entirely sure about. When was the last time you did something on a whim? *shrug* Were you raised by both of your parents? If not, then who raised you? Well, I guess both, but Dad didn't do a lot of the teaching part about life and stuff. Have you ever began a relationship with someone you knew for less than a week? No. Has one of your friends ever tried to ‘hook you up?’ Yes. Colleen tried that with me and Girt and only succeeded in making us very uncomfortable. She said something I wanted to slap her for that I won't repeat. What is your card game of choice? Magic: The Gathering. What is your favourite books series? I think my favorite series of all time was the Shiloh trilogy. I adored both the books and movies. Do you prefer landmarks or street names when being given directions? You'd better give me landmarks, ha ha. Do you read the prologues in the beginnings of books? Of course. What was your favourite gym class moment? There're such things as GOOD gym memories in school? Do you think that ocean boardwalks are fun? Yes. Do you dread when people ask you to sign their yearbooks? No, I always thought it was very flattering that they even wanted mine. Do you have a favourite Scooby-Doo movie? The Phantom Virus one. I had the video game as a kid, too. Could never beat the damn thing. Do you think it’s cute when toddlers try to run away and fall down? No? I don't like seeing children - or anyone - fall. Do you enjoy listening to your grandparents tell stories of their past? So, this really only happened once, and it was coincidentally the day I learned of her pancreatic cancer, but before Mom told me. I had an assignment to interview someone of an older generation about how various sources of media affected their lives, like the development of TV and such, and she really got into it. It was very interesting to learn about. Do you have a crush on someone? I guess I do idfk. If so... what does his/her name begin with? "D." What attracts you to them? More than anything, the fact he's been there for me without fail. Both single and when I was with Jason and he was interested in me, he's just... been there and has made an effort since high school to be in my life in one way or another. Do they know that you like them? Not anymore, no. We dated for a few months, but I broke up with him because he felt more like my brother, so I would assume he doesn't think I do. Maybe he still is family to me. I really don't know what I feel. If they don't know, why didn't you tell them? I might at some point, idk. We just haven't talked in a while. Name two people that you miss: Jason and Megan. Have you ever seen Titanic? When I was in the hospital, yes. Everyone was crying, lmao. Have you ever swam with dolphins? No, but I would. When was the last time you had a stomachache? Now. Mother Nature finally visited me after three whole fucking months and is v angry. What's going to bed early for you? Like 7:00. Do you want to have a big family in the future? Of pets! Human kids ain't for me. What was the last thing you did that gave you a rush? Hell if I know. Favorite Nicholas Cage movie? Ghost Rider. Have you had your Covid vaccine yet? Which one, if you have? Yes. I got Moderna. If you've had your vaccine, did you experience any side effects? I did on my second dosage. I was OUT of it the day afterwards, but then I was fine. What's the next item of clothing that you intend to buy for yourself? I need new bras badly. What Facebook groups have you found the most helpful? It's called "Not Just A Pet Rock (Python regius)" and is a group for advanced ball python husbandry. It is very informative, but I will say there is a SHITLOAD of very rude elitists. Do you like your butt? Why or why not? NO because it's a PANCAKE and I want CAKE. Have you ever personally been a victim of homophobia? I personally think so. When Sara visited and we were trying to go to my older sister's so she especially could meet her, Ash entirely ignored Mom's messages. I know her homophobic husband well enough to nearly be able to guarantee he didn't want us coming over because the kids "don't need to see that." Ash kinda does what Nick says, so... you know. Do you think you’d be happier if you had a pet? I know I'm happier with pets. Who was the last person you went on a date with? Sara. Were you ever hospitalized as a little kid? No. What’s your favorite way to curl your hair? It's too short to do that. At what age did you start swearing? However old I was in 7th grade. What is something you physically can’t do? Clean up vomit lkdsjal;sdkjfa;lkwd. I can't clean up my pet's or even my own. I literally can't. My mom has to. What do like better, apples or oranges? Apples. I don't like oranges. Around the holidays, do you hope for snow? Yes!!! What are your top two favorite bands? Ozzy Osbourne and Metallica. How many people do you 100% trust? Like two. Maybe. Do you care what others think about you? Way too much. Has anyone ever called you a bitch? My grandmother has. Did you watch Teletubbies when you were younger? Omg yes, I was obsessed. Do you have any licenses other than your driver's license? I don't even have that. Could you live the rest of your life without eating meat? No. Not because I don't want to, because I do, but I would have an extreme protein deficit if I did that. Besides meat, I don't like enough protein-rich foods. Have you ever had a rolling backpack? Yes. Did you make any money today? I haven't made any money in a very, very long time. I'm only ever paid when someone hires me to take pictures for them. What was the highest place you've ever jumped from? I don't know. Definitely not very high. Have you ever gone swimming in a river? Yes. What was the last souvenir someone got you? I have zero clue. Do you have a favorite remix of a song? Hm. Perhaps this techno-y remix of "Psychosocial" by Slipknot. I don't know for sure, though. What do you think is the most saddest sounding instrument? Either the violin or piano. Do you really pay attention to the ratings on movies? Nope. Do you have a favorite species of wild cat (tiger/lion/cougar/etc.)? Probably clouded leopards aesthetics, but I think lions overall. If you had $500,000, what would you do with it? Pay off school debt as well as help Mom with various financial issues, buy new glasses, buy Mom and I a new house and car, get Venus a great tank with all the optimal supplies, get LOADS of tattoos, donate to various charities, adopt a few specific pets, travel to Yellowstone, get laser hair removal on my legs and teeth whitening... There are a lot of possibilities. Did the last person you touched lips with have a kid? Just scaly ones. :') "First loves are never really over." Is this true for you? Yeeeep... Did you like Michael Jackson before he died? I didn't really have an opinion on him. I know/like a couple songs, sure. What are some things that would make you break up with someone? If they became abusive, started doing drugs, acted arrogantly, didn't understand my mental conditions and were unwilling to be emotionally supportive, stuff like that. What was the worst breakup you've ever had? Ha, the one with Jason. For. Fucking. Sure.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''degrade'' by 3teeth

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yan-wushi · 3 years

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my mads mikkelsen obsession wasnt even with him in like a movie. he just seemed like a genuinely nice guy in his interviews and i loved tht but i never hit stannery... i couldnt care less abt his work cuz omg im not watching white movies. but gao weiguang it was kind of over for me. i remember first seeing him a while back in fuyao and being like hes handsome but kinda different, then sas started sending his pics to me and i still wasnt convinced till i saw him w his normal skin and i was like omfg hes so handsome... then i fell off of fuyao and some of his work.... then sas sent me tht video which literally spilled his life story to me and it was actually super heartwrenching and now here i am. a pathetic little baby. i rescind my bisexual card. im not bisexual just a weakling

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blushinggray · 4 years

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FINISHED free s2!!! Haru was a brat this time haha and girl they were still obsessed over him🤣 and the tension between rin and sousuke and haru!! I am gonna watch the movie now. Hope to see Natsuya soon!!

Omfg yes the GAY TENSION 🥵 everyone being on haru’s dick is the plot point of this entire series but natsuya’s appearance is a slap across the face (or ass w/e) hope you enjoy the experience ahaha

#your reactions are so wholesome but im dying to find out how you react when the Mans appears 💦💦#anon

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bpdsafespace · 7 years

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okay just gotta rant right quick

so once upon a time 7 years ago (i was 16, i’m 23 now) my first boyfriend broke up with me because he needed space and what-not you know the usual line they give you when they want somebody, just not you and he was sleeping with this girl like two weeks later (mind you, we were dating for 6 months and i didn’t sleep with him because he was my first boyfriend and i was like terrified and stuff, wouldn’t even give him a blowjob which is probably why he liked her better but :) don’t even wanna get into that) and this girl wasn’t really friends with me but she was the kinda girl who said i love you to everyone so she was always like I LOVE YOU to me and i’m like haha okay this girl is wild. meanwhile i found out she was sleeping with my ex-boyfriend and i was like wow fuck you but whatever, i was more mad at him. months passed and i ended up being best friends with this girl… how you ask? well, her and my ex broke up and i was like LET’S BEFRIEND THE GIRL HAHA SCREW YOU JOE (my ex) and anyways yeah we were bffs and everything was great and i loved her a lot, she ended up being cool and we’d rag on my ex all the time and it was a great friendship.

fast forward about six months later and i started dating this new guy and this girl’s starting to sleep around and i’m like ah none of my biddnezz w/e girlfriend you do you but she ends up hooking up with this guy who has no interest in being in relationships (i ran into him recently and his number is SEVENTY EIGHT NOW. SEVENTY EIGHT) and i specifically remember an instance where she had a party at her house and everyone was drinking and she made everyone leave DRUNK because she decided she wanted to drive to see him instead of host her party people were counting on her to host. so i’m starting to see the warning signs again that this girl is wild like she’s just an unreliable person and i’m not mad at her for the joe thing but like i know that’s the kinda person she is. so soon after this girl tells me that my boyfriend was flirting with her, now of course i’m like ahhh there’s my girl, always thinks every guy is obsessed with her. maybe i was being a bad friend but i mean, everyone knew she was like that and it’s not like my boyfriend tried to hook up with her… so alright. anyways. my boyfriend HATED her for telling me anything, called her a liar and shit, and i was like okay buddy calm down it’s not a big deal you’re just a flirty person, i’m not mad and i still like her. then some crazy shit started happening like she started cutting herself because of that boy who slept with everyone and she sent a mass text to all of us that she was killing herself and shut her phone off. obviously (or not obviously at the time for me because i never knew it was a thing) the girl has bpd. and even though it was totally attention-seeking behavior, i was like this girl needs attention. so i drove to her house and she was literally just sitting in her room. like no blood, no screaming, no anything. so i’m like. alright. idk what to do. she wouldn’t even speak to me or appreciate the fact that i showed up. my boyfriend ended up swaying me that she wasn’t worth me being friends with and now, five years later dealing with bpd hardcore i’m realizing that that was wrong of me to leave her like that. i realize that. but i also realize that sometimes you have to do what’s best for yourself and she wasn’t good for me. i couldn’t trust her and who wants to have a friend they can’t trust? everything was always about her and she always chose boys over me. and i still thought she told me my boyfriend was flirting with her just to make me upset. add in the fact that she sent her sex buddy some kind of naked video and told him he could show my boyfriend, it just ended up being a mess. so my boyfriend and i broke up and a couple months later i hang out with her again and she tells me SHE SLEPT WITH JOE. and i’m like lmfao that’s wild ok and i’m not mad about it but later i realize wow that’s kinda shitty ok because she always told me she never cared about joe but it was OBVIOUS that i did. but none of my business i guess, ya know, like i guess i don’t have a reason to be mad. even though i kinda do idk whatever. i had a falling out with her again and i don’t even remember why but i don’t think it was bitter.

so i ended up DATING joe again cause i’m a fuckin idiot but HE’S MY FIRST LOVE~~ I LOOVEEE HIM~~ i’m dumb. v dumb. anyways i date him for a good two years and then he ends up cheating on me 3 times with his best friend’s sister and she TELLS ME and i’m like no way you’re a liar and i knock tequila out of her hand all over the floor and my boyfriend is legit CRYING and i’m like fuck her and the next morning, i clean it up because i feel so bad and her brother lets me do it as if i was acting crazy and it’s because HE KNEW THE WHOLE TIME IT WAS TRUE!! and anyways that was fucking wild but i push it to the back of my mind and continue to date him for six months later until he cheats on me AGAIN and then breaks up with me because he “needs space” and “is so stressed out” and literally bitches at me for telling him i can’t be here for him right now because my friend’s grandfather just died and i have to be there for her, like basically uses that as an excuse to break up with me because “i don’t care about his problems” and “he needs to be alone to figure it out” and wowee the whole deal was wild, i felt like i was in a movie!! because i found out he was dating someone else like two days later! like? i’m getting soooo pissed right now just thinking about it and yet this is still the guy i’m hooking up with and loving to this day!! I’M STUPID!! anyways

i end up at michelle’s house (my friend not-friend whatever she is who dated joe after me when i was 16) like six months after this happens because a couple of my friends are friends with her still and i thought it’d be awkward but it actually wasn’t like i told her the stuff my ex did and wow writing this i’m realizing the only shit we had in common was my ex!! like lmao i just liked shit-talking my ex with her! so we become friends again but not really friends like i’d see her/hang out with her once in a while. this was a year and a half ago. so everything was fine between us like we were cool but i knew for certain that i wasn’t going to get close to her again and i thought i had a good reason for it. didn’t i? or am i just overreacting? like sometimes when you have history like that with people you can never get that trust back in a friendship and like.. is it wrong for me to not trust her..? or? idk i always had this super paranoid feeling in the back of my head that she was going to hook up with joe again and then she told me that she hung out with him and he “was trying to hook up with her” and i asked joe about it and he’s like haha! that’s funny!! because i thought SHE WAS TRYING TO HOOK UP WITH ME!! so i’m like omfg this is so much fucking drama man what is going on

so fast forward to this new year’s. i end up hanging out with a few of my friends and michelle. everything is cool until we get back to one of my friend’s houses and michelle starts yelling at me about joe. like straight-up. first she’s telling me i deserve better and stuff. and i’m confused because like yeah i’m on and off hooking up with joe but 1. we’re not getting back together and 2. how do you know that? then she goes as far as to be like “JOE WILL NEVER CHOOSE YOU. HE WILL ALWAYS CHOOSE ME OVER YOU.” so i’m drunk and i run out of the room crying because wow that was so mean? and i’m sorry but joe will never choose you over me lmfao like i know he did when i was 16 but you were just a fuckbuddy. like i’m sorry. but joe and i have YEARS of history together. so whatever that was just a really mean thing to say and it confirmed to me that she thinks every boy is obsessed with her and is constantly trying to get in the way of my relationships. so the next day she texts me and apologizes and i forgive her immediately because i’m like okay yeah i get it, she was trying to look out for me. but then i think about it later and i’m like wait… i’m actually mad. so i tweet: “Someone: *treats me badly* Me: *forgives them immediately* Me 2 weeks later, eyes snapping open at 3 am: you know what?? I’m mad at you.” and apparently she’s mad that i tweet that and idgaf if she knows it’s about her because i’m actually making fun of myself for being like this, not her.

so i see her in the bar again last weekend and i’m like to my friends, “DON’T LET US FIGHT.” and they’re like ok but whattaya know, we end up in a fight again. and she brings up THE BRAN (my other bf) SITUATION, basically claims it’s my fault she ended up in a psych ward because of it (uh, no, you were cutting yourself and stuff because of that boy you were having sex with, not because of me bye). so i apologize but apparently my apology wasn’t good enough like i was rolling my eyes or something which i don’t remember doing but I WAS DRUNK. and she doesn’t apologize AT ALL when i go “so you slept with joe to get back at me” - instead she’s like “YOU’RE MAD AT ME OVER OLD STUFF” and i’m like ?? i’m not mad at you over that stuff?? i just know i can’t trust you because of it. that’s different. and you’re the one bringing up old stuff?? like. then on top of that, i tell everyone i’m obsessed w one of my friend’s coworkers that is about to meet up with us and immediately after meeting him, she tells my friend she’s going to fuck him. so i’m like… SERIOUSLY? THIS GIRL IS AT IT AGAIN IS THIS FUCKING SERIOUS

so i tell joe. and he’s like dude you gotta call her out for that shit. so i’m like alright I WILL. so i text her. and she gets all defensive like i didn’t know you liked him and blah blah and again continues to tell me i have a secret hatred for her and that i’m so petty and ridiculous for not just bringing it to the surface. and i’m like wtf i don’t have a secret hatred for you (in my head i’m like: i just don’t trust you… and you’re rude as fuck to me when you’re drunk). then eventually she stops answering me and i’m left like… okay wow great cool, now i feel like shit because every time i stand up for myself i feel like shit!! because people always have a justification for everything they do and they come back at me with stuff i do and it’s just kinda like :) maybe i do deserve all of the ways they treat me :) but like… i didn’t deserve new years. and now i feel bad too because maybe i do have a “secret hatred” for her, like is that what she calls not trusting her? and i only threw the joe thing in her face because she threw the bran thing in my face? so? like? idk now i feel like i’m a horrible person and a liar because i told her i wasn’t mad and now, again, i’m left… mad. and i can’t say anything else because at the end of the day i don’t even want to speak to her anymore because we never see eye to eye and our best friend days have been over for four years now and i don’t need someone like her in my life. but it would be nice to go to the bar with my friends and see her and be civil with her. idk why she always gotta start a fight. now everything is awkward and this happened almost a week ago and i still think about it constantly and i don’t know what to do like should i apologize now i feel so bad and i hate when people don’t like me

#v personal #and very long #but full of drama if you're into that #my life is a soap opera #read more

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gagaforstrify · 7 years

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get to know me tag (??)

Tagged by @scoup-dumplings thankyouu omfg I didn't believe at first I got tagged somewhere (!!), I'd hug you if I knew you in rl. Rules: answer the 20 questions in a new post and tag 20 blogs you would like to get to know better. Nickname: Annie, Anna, Ann (or A because crush) Gender: Female Star Sign: Pisces ayy my birthday's comin' up Height: 5'3 or 5'4?? I'm the shortest of all of my friends haha what a lyf Time right now: 8:28 PM Last thing I Googled: tbh I just wrote "amber borders" because I needed that song in my life Favorite Bands: O K A Y there's SEVENTEEN the love of my life, BTS, N'UEST, EXO ASTRO (just got to know them but I LOVE THEM OKAY how cute are THEY) and KANA-BOON Favorite Solo Artists: Jack Strify (I used to be obsessed w/ him, now I ain't but I still admire him idgaf listen to his s o n g s pls), ERA ISTREEEEEEFI (because Bonbon aaand she resembles one of my rl crushes i crei), Ailee, Troy Sivan and I can't place any other rn Song stuck in your head: TroyBoi - Afterhours (ayy heard it in uni today and it is liiiiit) Last movie I watched: Chungking Express in class Last TV Show I watched: Scholar Who Walks the Night for Soo-Hyuk, I always go for the bad guys don't ask me why idek myself When did you create your blog: A long time ago?? Four maybe five years? But never used it for some reason, used to be active on my side blog and I decided to use this one after I got into Kpop (though I'll probably lose it if they ask my password one day lol I gotta make a new tumblr acc) What kind of stuff do you post: Lots of Jeonghan stuff + SVT and anything else that interests me, though I want to start posting fanfics ayy When did your blog reach its peak: Maybe in an alternate universe hahahah *wipes tear* Do you have any other blogs: Yah but I don't use it anymore Do you get asks regularly: In my dreams, yes Why you chose your URL: I used to be "gaga" for Strify (mentioned above).. and I can't change my URL now THANK YOU TUMBLR (pls notice my sarcasm) Following: 8 maybe 11 blogs? Posts: For some reason I don't know how to check that Hogwarts House: Got into Slytherin in Pottermore but I always wanted Ravenclaw Pokémon Team: If you're talking about Pokémon Go then no because it involves mOVING and I couldn't have that, but I love Pokémon nonetheless Favorite colors: BLACK, black, more black and pastels Average hours of sleep: I get mainly 6 to 7 hours on uni days but 8 to 10 on a lucky day Lucky Numbers: Maybe none?? Favorite Characters: AM I SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE?? O k a y um Vegeta, Goku, Naruto, Sasori, Sakura (why do you aLL HATE HER IDEK), Itachi, Envy, Lust and I'll stop now What are you wearing right now: Plaid shirt and green tights hAHAHA I know How many blankets do you sleep with: 1?? Dream trip: I hate to travel because then I have to move but if I have to I'd go to Korea or anywhere where SVT, BTS or anyone of my favourite babies have a concert I dunno anyone else I'm soz, literal loner ahaha jkjk

#personal

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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years

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Survey #222

“hold your breath, my dear, we’re going under.”

Have you ever kicked a vending machine? No. Have you ever stayed online for a long time waiting for someone? Ha ha, yeah... I did that for Mini a lot when I was younger. Would you survive in prison? I can almost guarantee I'd find a way to kill myself, no. What is your favorite condiment to go with french fries? Probably ketchup. What do you have a habit of doing when engaging in a conversation with someone? Obsess over if I'm making eye contact correctly. Like the WHOLE time I will be thinking about it. Have you ever lost a pet in a tragic way? How did you cope? I had a lot of childhood cats run over, and that was always hard to see. As for coping, I just... did. What else do you do. Do you have a favorite classical composer? No. Mini skirts, slutty or stylish? Um, what you wear doesn't determine whether or not you're "slutty." They don't bother me. Do you like a partner who is clean cut or rugged? A mix. Pale or tan, which would you rather be? I like pale skin, I just don't like the texture of mine. The negative of pale skin is the fact you can see flaws more clearly. Is walking cats strange? (like walking dogs) No. What about kids on leashes? What do you think about that? That shit is wild. Teach your children better, or keep them in your sights at all times if they have some kind of condition that makes it challenging to teach them properly. How many piercings have you had, BESIDES ears, no one cares. Two. New tats in your near future? Whenever I myself have the money, my next tattoo appointment will be to enhance my Mark tribute one to better the galaxy texture. I love the guy who's done my tats so far, but there are better out there, and I don't feel he achieved my vision. This tattoo is WILD important to me; it has to be perfect. After that, a "new" tattoo probably won't happen until I have a job or I'm gifted money. How about piercings or re-piercings? "In the near future" is the criteria I'm guessing is still relevant? It depends on how quickly I lose enough weight for my collarbones to be clearly prominent to get dermals. I've been fucking stagnated for a year, though, so I don't know when the hell that's happening... Who would you like to hang out with? There's a lot of old friends and acquaintances that fit this. Next new thing you are wanting to try! Idk. Some sort of job I can actually accomplish. Would you ever visit a psychic medium? Definitely not; I don't believe they're legit. Are some days a waste of makeup? Um so idk if you know, author, but people wear makeup for their own satisfaction. If it makes you feel beautiful, then hell no it's not a waste. Do you watch any beauty gurus on YouTube? Okay I fucking adore Jeffree Star y'all. He's a goddamn Mood and inspirational as ALL hell in terms of his determination, work ethic, and open-mindedness. I watch everything he uploads ever, even though I'm not really interested in makeup. It's cool to watch though; it's an art to me. Do you have a PillowPet? No, but omfg. One of my favorite Christmas memories ever is the night my niece, when she was around two or so, was given one (or something like it?) the night before, we turned the lights out, and lit it up so the colorful stars were all over the room. She was absolutely marveling over it. That was the same night my sister revealed she was pregnant with my nephew, actually. That was a great night. Actually felt like a family. Do you have sleep paralysis? Thank FUCK no. Have you ever wanted an ex back, but found out they were dating someone? I've talked about Jason and Ashley before. God that was a bad. Bad. Fuck-ing. Time. Do you like Placebo? I don't listen to them. Has anyone ever carried you to bed? I mean as a kid, yeah. Idr as a teenager or adult. Would you rather have a wiener dog or an Italian greyhound? The greyhound. Dachshunds are precious, but as of semi-recently, I'm personally against breeding pets with damaging/unhealthy traits, and dachshunds are very susceptible to spine issues. Idk if greyhounds have any issues like that. Do your parents buy you most anything you want? Bitch we poor, no. What is the next craft you are going to make? Probably something for Sara for some special event. I don't think that's much of a spoiler, so I don't mind sharing it. Do you learn choreography easily? I was decent when I was a dance student, but no, I can promise you no. My memory is laughable. If you had to choose, would you rather be taller or shorter? Taller, I guess? Idk. Do you believe that Jesus will come back in your lifetime? No, I don't believe he ever will. What color is your winter coat? ... Shit dude, idr. Idk if I even have one, actually. What’s your favorite candy to receive on Halloween? Gimme all ur Reese's cups. Have you ever spent your birthday alone? No. Have you ever had a themed b-day party? I'm sure I did as a kid. Were you afraid of heights as a child? No. I am now tho. Which dollar store is your favorite? Here, Dollar Generals are everywhere and generally the preferred one, I believe. What food gives you diarrhea? Totally serious, most exceptionally "fancy" foods; by that, I assume things with lots of intricate spices and other ingredients. At least severe gas pains are almost guaranteed when I eat out somewhere. Have you ever had a lead role in a play? No. Ha ha man, I remember as an elementary school student though, we had a play where I SO wanted to be Snow White. What is the most fascinating part of nature? Evolution. I don't know how I once didn't believe in it. Would you ever go vegetarian? I am serious about returning to vegetarianism when/if I get to a weight I'm satisfied with (losing weight w/o meat is more difficult than with, particularly for an extremely picky eater). I wish I could be a total vegan, but I know I'm not capable of that. Once you actually learn about slaughterhouses and farm life... no. What berry is your favorite? STRAW!!!!!!!BERRIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is your dream house? Something in the woods with a nice yard/outdoor decor, flowers, wildlife... What was the reason in you crying last? PTSD. Are there any movies in the theater that you’d like to see? The new IT and Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. What do you think of Coca Cola? It's my third-fave soda. What about polar bears? Gorgeous animals. I will R I O T if they go extinct. My best friend(s) are/is... Sara. When do you want to have your first kid? Never. I am faaar from cut out to be a mother. Which stovetop burner do you use the most? I don't cook, so. The times I've made eggs, uh... I think I use the bottom right? Do you use a dishwasher or wash dishes by hand? Ugh, we don't have one. What year did you graduate high school? 2014. Do you carry pepper spray? No, but I should with how paranoid I am. What is your favorite gas station? Sheetz is the way to go down here. What have been some of your best garage sale finds? *shrugs* Idr the last time I went to one. Ever worked two jobs or more at once? Hell no. I wouldn't survive. How often do you check your email? Every day, mainly for school. What would you do if your ex came to you crying? It would depend on who. "The" ex, I don't give a fuck how I feel about him, he's getting a tight-ass hug because seeing him cry is awful, and I will always care about him to a certain degree. Well actually, I'd ask him before hugging; I don't know if he'd be fine with me touching him. Girt would get a big 'ole hug for sure. Juan, Tyler, and Aaron I'd ask if they wanted a hug. I'd definitely ask any of them if they wanted to talk/vent to me about whatever is wrong; I can't stand seeing people cry. What school do you go to, what grade? I'm a super late freshman in college. How do you feel about school? It's been a drastic change in my daily life and thus has caused stress, but nevertheless I'm ecstatic to be back because I'm actually making progress towards going somewhere. Are you still a virgin? So I know it sounds like it makes NO sense w/o details, but seriously, I don't know. We had "cheaty" ways to just barely skirt around it because at the time I was abstinent, but pretty sure at some point it became sex. Do you eat chips or crackers more? Man, I haven't had chips in a loooong time... though I love them, man. We have crackers at the house usually, and I snack on them occasionally. Is your bed next to a wall? Who doesn't have their bed against at least one?? Is your bed next to a window? There's one beside me against the wall. Do you have neat handwriting? I think so. The only thing I don't like is I write SOOOOOOOOOO slow. Would you rather be a singer or a dancer? Dancer. Would you rather be a musician or a painter? Painter. What did your hair look like in high school? Long and normally brown, but sometimes I dyed it black with colored highlights. Favorite flavor of hot chocolate? Normal?? What is your top priority in life? My happiness, probably. Have you ever made a gingerbread house? Yeah. Sucky ones, but they were gingerbread houses, lol. Do you prefer candy corn or conversation hearts? EW both are gross. Skeletons or scarecrows? I'll see you in the Skeleton War, fuckers. Who was the last non-relative woman you spoke to in person? My Writing teacher. What’s a topic you’ve drastically changed your opinion on? I did a TOTAL 180 on LGBT rights, and my former, intense pro-life stance has altered quite a lot to mostly pro-choice. What’s an achievement you hope to see humanity accomplish in your lifetime? Man, a lot... A total ban from plastic and finding an alternative for it would be great, as well as the cure of cancer and H.I.V. Make gay marriage legal worldwide. Make great progress on cleaning the oceans. I could go on and on. Do you know anyone who has a PhD? As far as personally, possibly. Like, obviously my doctors do. How do you feel when you’re the center of attention? *buys that red button that says "no" in various fashions solely for this occasion* Are you and your S/O Facebook official? She doesn't have a FB, but mine does say "in a relationship." Do you know anyone who works as a lawyer? Not that I know well anymore; a former best friend is in the process of becoming one, though. So proud of her. Which would bother you more: being told you’re not likable or being told you’re not sensible? Being told I'm not likable would really hurt. How many bedrooms does your house have? Two. Have you ever had a dream in which you died? Yeah. Does the thought of having wrinkles when you’re older upset you? Not really. Everyone gets them. Do you use Snapchat? No. Do you know anyone who’s struggling with addiction? Yes. What was your first job? And how long did you work there? I was a sales associate at GameStop. I was employed for like two months, but I worked very few days before I crumbled. Where is the last place you were other then where you are right now? School. How do you feel about the last person you kissed? I adore her. Lol, Lawl, Rotfl, Lmao, or Lmfao? (Which you use most) Lmao or lol. Have you/Do you know anyone that grows weed? Not knowingly to me. Do you really care about name brands? Not just for the sake of being a certain name; I do, however, care about the quality of brands, of course, such as taste for foods or being comfortable in clothes. Describe your favorite pair of jeans to me please. I don't have any. When I was actually slim though, I had a pair of maroon skinny jeans with a black dappling texture, and there were holes in them where the fabric was just black, and I loooooved them. Those and my leather boots was A Look. To wash in the shower, do you use a loofa? That's not the technical name for what I use according to Mom when I've called them that, but rather a body sponge or something like that, but it's like the same thing. Have you ever ridden on a horse? Yes, though not at a gallop or anything "real." Just at things like school fairs. Are you polite? I think I'm very polite, honestly. Do you prefer bright or muted colors? Bright, usually. Can you roll your tongue? I used to be able to after practicing all day once with a friend ha ha, but I haven't been able to for a long time. Definitely can't now with snake eyes. Are you a light weight when it comes to alcohol? No, apparently. Which accents can you emulate pretty well? British and country. How loud do you listen to music? Too loud, I know. Are you more awkward talking to people in real life or online? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, real life. I don't think I'm half bad online. Do you bruise easily? So easily that I was tested for anemia or whatever it's called where you bleed easily (the test was negative, thankfully). Despite feeling bruised, though, I usually don't have an actual mark. Have you ever bought pre-ripped jeans? All my jeans were. I hate plain, boring jeans. What are you most likely to spend money on? Tattoos, lol... I genuinely think I'm good with money, I feel because of the financial position I've grown up and lived in, although I have never had a stable source of income, so it's hard to really determine that yet. I'm quite sure I'll be fine, but I really do hope I handle my money well when I do and don't invest all my spendable (as in, not money that I'm saving for emergencies) money into just tats. Have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything? Welcome to my life, lol. I'm at an age where it's starting to get embarrassing, but. Idk how to change it. What’s the weirdest way you’ve ever heard somebody die of? *shrug* When was the last time you (dis)liked someone without really knowing them? I dunno. I try to not do that. When was the last time you wore a mask? What did it look like? Hell if I remember. I don't even remember wearing any on Halloween as a child. What comes up on your recommended list on YouTube? Mainly let's plays or music. Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? Hell no, that wouldn't last long. How many true heart breaks have you had in your lifetime? One. Do you have any gay family members? My mom has a gay cousin. Who was the last person to sleep over at your house? Sara. Would you ever get a boob job? No; I don't care enough about them too. I wish they were smaller. I liked mine when I was a healthy weight, so, let's get back to that size, please. What would you think if you found out your ex was gay? Aaron, I think he actually is. Juan, trust me, he's not. Jason couldn't convince me he was gay even if he tried. I very highly doubt he'd be bi/pan, either. Girt, I would be surprised, but not like, immensely. I don't have a clue about Tyler and if he has any gay tendencies/history. Would you ever take someone back if you found out they cheated on you? NO SIR-REE. Do people ever compliment your eyes? Yeah. Would you be upset if you caught your boyfriend looking at porn? I don't know. I used to feel REALLY strongly about porn just being a big 'ole fucking nope, but whatever man, we're sexual animals. Better you take care of urges yourself rather than, you know, raping someone or something. If I personally caught my s/o doing it, idk how I'd feel, but knowing me and my self-esteem, I'd feel I'd probably jump to the whole (if we were serious) "um hi I'm your fckng gf what am I not enough" thought path. I don't think I'd be livid, though. Ask the old Britt, and we would've broken up there, probably. Who’s the last person that hung up on you? *shrug* Do you have a common first name? Yeah. Have you ever been engaged? No. Do you have any tattoos on your arms? Four, currently. They're gonna be covered one day. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property? No. Have you ever been punched? No. What do you usually order from Olive Garden? I will, without fail, get the spicy shrimp fritas and be the happiest human being on Earth. How do you feel about bats? I absolutely adore them. Do you get excited when you learn you have to dress up? Quite the opposite, actually. What brand of hair spray do you use? I don't use it. Do you like it when guys wear hats? I have zero opinion on this. Burger King, McDonald's, or Wendy's? I prefer Wendy's. If you type for awhile, do your fingers start to hurt? No. Are you the type of person who would study for a test for hours? No, I'm not. I generally don't even have to like, intensely study; I tend to learn upon reading things, or in like math, performing the actions just a couple times. "Studying" doesn't tend to work for me; if it gets to that point, it probably won't stick, regardless of how many times I try. Are you a lazy person? I hate admitting just how lazy I am. But I mean again, it also depends on what is at stakes. Does your house have a doorbell? Yes, though I actually don't know if the doorbell works... Favorite album? Ozzy Osbourne's Black Rain. Favorite farm animal? PIGS! Has your Facebook ever been hacked? No. Do you spell gray with an A or an E? I use the American spelling ("gray"). Would you rather get money or gift cards for your birthday? I would be perfectly and entirely happy with purely money for my birthday, because that equals tattoos, lmao. Have you ever spoken to a detective before? No. Have you ever played laser tag? Once on a double-date with Jason and our old roommates/friends. Do you ever share things on Facebook? Almost all I do are share things I support, find funny, find as inspirational or cute, stuff like that. I can confidently say the majority of people I even have as "friends" on there do not care that much about my personal life. Is anyone you’re close to in the hospital right now? I mean, define "close." My grandmother's going through chemo, but we're not like... my definition of particularly "close," though she's close-ish family, so idk. Is your Wifi protected? Of course. What did you have for lunch today? I didn't eat lunch. How often do people write on your Facebook wall? On my birthday, lmao. Does your phone have a cover on it? No. I'd say I want one, but way more than that, I want a new phone. Mine is godawful. What color was your swim suit this year? I mean my most recently-worn is black, but I think it'd probably be too big for me now. I haven't swam in a long time. Do ladders scare you? Yes. Do you have any pictures of you and your friends in your bedroom? No. How do you eat Oreos? I'm one of those people that breaks the cookie to eat the cream first. Who or what sleeps with you? My cat Roman. Do you know anyone with the same name as you? Yes, but spelled differently. Are you pro-life or pro-choice? Honestly, it's become almost embarrassing to say I was ever pro-life. I'm vehemently pro-choice now. What color LED is the display in your car? Okay so Mom's has a rainbow of options, but I think it's currently stuck on... purple? I think? How am I unsure???? I'm in it every day?????????? Who was your first kiss with? Jason, my first "real" boyfriend. What kind of milk do you drink? I'll drink anywhere between skim to whole milk, but I'm not really a fan of skim despite having grown up with it. What aren’t you afraid to stand up for? I'd stand up for gay rights if it killed me. Do you know anybody in the military? Loosely. What was the last hotel you stayed at? I don't have the slightest clue. Do you have any STDs? No. What’s your preferred salad dressing? YO the Olive Garden dressing is b o m b. Do you have a favorite NASCAR driver? No. Who’s your celebrity crush? I'm almost 24 years old ha ha ha hahaha I'm too old for a celebrity crush aha hahaa haa aahha ah hahaaaaaaaaaaaaa- What color is your fridge? Black. Do you know the metric system well enough to live in Canada? No, admittedly. What was the biggest bruise you’ve ever had? Tell me the place (on your body) and the story of it! Idr. If you have Etsy account - show the very last item you added to the favorites. If not - either skip or just visit Etsy and find one thing you like: I think I have one, but I don't use it. I don't feel like looking. What would you do if you knew that you will be single to your very death (even if you’re in a relationship now)? Nothing would change...? My relationship status doesn't alter my goals and such. Are there any exchange students at your school? We have a LOT of foreign students at my school, so I'd assume so. Have you got any half or step siblings? I have three (actually four, but I don't know one tho) half-siblings and technically a step-brother, but I don't see him as a "brother," really. What cars do your siblings drive, if they do drive? My older sister has a red car, and my younger has a... black Kia, I think? It's dark is all I know for sure, and I only know the brand because it's new. I don't live with either or see their cars frequently elsewhere, so idk. What about your parents? Idk what kind my dad drives, but BOY do I know my mom's car, lmao. It's an older white Kia (I think?) with the bumper fuckin zip-tied onto the car bc it was given to us after a dance friend hit a poor deer, lmao. Look, we don't complain, shit was free. Do you like kid’s movies? Yo I do NOT trust you if you claim you like NO "kids' movie." Describe your handbag. I'm actually gonna look it up. (https://sourpussclothingwholesale.files.wordpress.com/2016/08/night-owl-bag.jpg?w=584&h=364) When was the last time you had to take someone home? ME, never. I don't have my license because I'm terrified of driving. Who was it, and where did you take them home from? N/A Have you ever known someone online and then met them in person? Sara Jaaaaaane!!! :'> There are other friends I'd like to meet, too. If so, which website did you meet on? Sara and I met via YouTube when it was actually community-oriented. Have you ever been to the beach? Yeah, multiple times. Have you ever been kicked out of somewhere? Yeah, I guess. She didn't actually like, force me outside, but I had to call my mother to pick me up. Have you ever intentionally trolled? No. Did you get swine flu? No. What is your favorite type of cat? Aesthetically, I find Persians to be way too cute, though I don't support their continued breeding. It's literally abuse to breed animals that deformed. Do you support the LGBTQ community? I'm bisexual, so like- Have you ever eaten a veggie burger? Yeah, the Morningstar brand from Burger King (not the Impossible Burger one). It's genuinely not bad. If you could meet any major political figure, who would it be? I'm not educated enough on like, any, to properly answer this question. If you drink Monster, what is your favorite flavor? N/A Do you own any Webkinz stuffed animals? I was that Bad Bitch(tm) with like,,,, almost all of them back in the day. If so, do you have a Webkinz online account? It exists, but idr the password sobs. If you had/have a Club Penguin account, how old were you when you got it? I would have a character for like two days, not go back on for years, repeat a couple times... but idk how old I was. Do you own any Nintendo video game consoles/handhelds? GameBoys and a DS Lite, yes. What religion were you raised in? Roman Catholicism. Are you still that religion, if you had one? Far from it. What religion/spiritual path intrigues you the most, if any? Buddhism and Wicca. What ancient culture intrigues you the most, if any? Idk. Were/are you a teacher’s pet? Not like, the kind that sucked up to the teacher for their personal benefit, but if you mean just as in the teacher's favorite, yeah. Do you like pink lemonade? Hell yeah man. What’s your favorite U2 song, if you have one? I don't listen to them. Were your parents born in the United States? Yeah. Do women breastfeeding in public make you feel uncomfortable? I want it to be perfectly and violently clear that I fucking despise you if a child being fed fucking offends you. Why or why not? Because women's bodies aren't sexual fucking objects designed for your viewing pleasure. Write an unpopular/offensive opinion of yours here. I’m interested. Buckle up, lads. Seatbelts fastened? Ass properly in the seat? Airbags in place? There are two genders.

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